#what can still be known
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What Can Still Be Known
A/N: This is my submission for @wannab-urs Hozier Drabble Challenge... which I meant to have finished weeks ago, but since it's May the 4th, today seems like a good time to post it even if it is later than I originally planned. Thank you so much to Gin for putting this together! I love music prompts, so this was right up my alley. I can't wait to catch up on the other stories written for this event! Make sure you all go check them out, too! You can find them here.
Prompt: My song was Butchered Tongue from the album Unreal, Unearth, and my character was Din. I was delighted to get this prompt, because that song speaks to my soul. It's melancholic and beautiful, and I think it fits Din so damn well, so I hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: angst, mentions of canon typical violence, mention of death of parents/family, you know, Mandalorian stuff.
Word Count: 3,545 (oops.)
Summary: Din doesn't remember much about his parents or his life with them... but that doesn't stop him from wishing it were different.
Nevarro’s sun burned bright and hot as Din crossed the scrubby stretch of flatlands that separated the town from the Mandalorian encampment. Shifting the crate he carried under one arm, he tilted his head down to where Grogu hopped along beside him, using the Force to propel himself every few steps to accommodate for his father’s much longer stride. The sight, along with the string of happy gurgles and babbles spilling from the kid’s mouth, made a smile sprout beneath the man’s helmet.
“It’s good to be back, isn’t it buddy?”
Grogu looked up at him and squealed happily, nodding and pointing one clawed finger at the semi-permanent settlement growing closer with every step they took.
Though the efforts to reclaim their homeworld had been successful, a small group of Mandalorians remained on Nevarro during the rebuilding process on Mandalore - mainly those responsible for teaching and raising the foundlings and other young children that were not yet ready to start their trials. There were two combat instructors, two teachers whose focus was on the tenants of the Resol’nare, one additional teacher who was responsible for teaching Mando’a, as well as a dozen or so students and their guardians. Eventually they’d all join the rest of their people on Mandalore, but until things were more solidly settled there, Nevarro was as safe an option for an outpost as could be found in the Outer Rim.
Din chuckled. “I’m sure your friends will be happy to see you again, too.”
That response sent the kid bouncing with excitement, hopping high enough so that he could fit in a flip before touching down again, the rondel and small pauldron he wore clinging together like chimes with his motion.
“Go ahead,” Din urged him, jutting his chin out in front of him. “You don’t have to wait for me. I’ll be right behind -” But the child was gone before the last word left his lips. He sighed and shook his head in amusement. “-You.” He watched through the tinted screen of his visor as Grogu darted towards the sparring grounds, no doubt in search of Ragnar.
It had been a few months since they’d been back on Nevarro, Din busy taking Grogu through his apprenticeship, teaching him skills that he would need in order to move on in his training. Tracking, hunting, navigation, survival, negotiation, just to name a few. Every lesson took them to a different planet, some of them coming with the added bonus of coinciding with a bounty or paid favor. The most recent one, a lesson in tracking on Rodia, had resulted in uncovering a stash of beskar ingots that had been defaced with an Imperial stamp.
Immediately after finishing up on Rodia - Din showing Grogu how to incapacitate an enemy without killing them - they’d taken the recovered beskar back to the Armorer on Mandalore, so that she could fashion it into new pieces for the foundlings. It was strange, but good, to see the glass encrusted planet so teeming with life. It was a relief to know that what his people had fought for for so long, what so many had given their lives for, was finally secure. Finally theirs.
But despite the fact that the Mandalorian people finally had a safe place to call home, Din had yet to feel that sort of connection with the planet. Unlike Bo-Katan, he hadn’t been born there, nor had he spent any time there as a child. He’d heard stories about what the Great Forge had been like in its glory, how lush the gardens of Sundari had been long ago. But to him, a foundling Child of the Watch who had never set foot on Mandalore until he was a grown man, they’d always felt like stories about some fictional, far off place. He wondered if that would change, if he would ever feel at home in a place that brought him no nostalgia or warmth.
A part of him hoped that it would. Because it wasn’t just Mandalore that he felt that absence of connection to. It was everywhere he went. A side-effect of losing every home he’d ever had, it turned out, was not knowing where your roots would grow if they could grow anywhere they chose.
He knew he had a home once. A true home, one where he could have collected a whole life’s worth of memories, enough of them so that when he returned there they’d all come rushing to fill his heart with warmth and welcome. He knew he had a family before the Tribe had become that for him, too. A mother and father who loved him so fiercely that they sacrificed their own lives to save his. When he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could still find their faces. His father’s was easier to recall because he himself wore so many of the same features. Every time he saw his own reflection he was reminded of the man who carried him through the battlefield that their village had become.
His mother’s face was more difficult to recall in detail, but that didn’t mean he had forgotten her. He remembered her thick, dark hair and the way it curled at her shoulders. He remembered the texture of the red robes she wore, remembered tracing the intricate pattern of woven stitching on the cuffs of her sleeves with the tips of his fingers. He couldn’t be sure, but he had the thought that he must have remembered these things because she was the one who comforted him when he was hurt, sad or scared. That what he really recalled when he thought of his mother was the feeling of safety and warmth that her embrace provided.
He remembered the tone of her voice, soothing but strong. His father’s was full and confident and always sounded like a smile was about to appear. He remembered that the two of them sang often. Sometimes he’d be hit with a snippet of a melody, the lyrics lost, turned to dust and ash like the rest of his homeworld, but he’d find himself humming and realize that it was one of the songs his parents used to sing.
The forgotten lyrics were only a small part of a larger loss, though. They were written in a language that had died when the population of Aq Vetina had been snuffed out. So he could remember his parents’ voices. He could remember the melodies they sang. But the things they said, the words they used, the meaning behind them? All of that was gone. For all the languages and means of communication he did know, the first one he’d ever heard and learned escaped him. And in all of his travels since leaving his homeworld in the arms of an armored stranger that had become his Buir, Din had never met anyone who spoke his native tongue.
It made him wonder if anyone else had survived the attack on his home that day, or if he was the last living member of a completely slain culture.
Before he could ruminate on that thought for too long, though, Azil, one of the combat instructors, saw him walking towards the sparring grounds and waved him over. “Olarom, Djarin!” He pointed at the crate Din carried, tilting his helmeted-head in question. “Gifts from home?”
The contents of the box shifted as Din handed it over, newly cast cuiresses ringing together in answer to Azil’s inquiry. “New beskar,” Din responded with a nod. “Freshly forged on Mandalore,” he added in answer to Azil’s question about where it came from. “I was told to deliver them to you for distribution to your students.”
Azil set the crate down and clapped one gloved hand to Din’s shoulder. “Vor entye, vod.”
Returning the gesture, Din did the same. “This is the Way.”
“This is the Way,” Azil echoed, and then immediately set about unpacking the box of armor, sorting it by size, leaving Din to see where Grogu had gone.
It didn’t take long for him to find his son. The long, green ears were a giveaway, sure. But so was the small crowd of other children gathered around to watch him levitate a black chunk of volcanic rock while Ragnar Vizsla practiced blasting it with training darts. With each successful hit, the other kids would cheer, a collective sound of amazement coming from them each time Grogu managed to evade the blast by redirecting the rock.
Din stood watching for a few moments, silently appreciative that these children had this opportunity to laugh and learn and grow together somewhere open and safe and free. He could remember playing similar training games and showing off new skills with the few other children in his covert, though then it was all done underground, in hiding. But he couldn’t recall the kinds of games he might have played with friends in his village. If there were any nursery rhymes or tall tales he might have known once, they’d long since faded from his memory.
It made him wonder if he’d eventually forget what little he could remember about his native culture. Would he lose it piece by piece? Until not even a familiar tune or the color red or his own reflection sparked any feeling? He hoped not, but it seemed inevitable.
At least, it had.
Suddenly - from a different group of children than the one gathered around Grogu, much to Din’s relief - a small child went darting by his boots, arms outstretched in front of her, the distinct sound of sniffles and cries trailing after her. Turning away from the training grounds, he watched as the child was scooped up by a woman who had just stepped out of one of the tents. He assumed that whatever sent the girl running was just the result of one of the other kids being a little too rough. Or perhaps one of Nevarro’s reptilian species had frightened the child. Either way, it was clear that there was no real danger and that the woman had things under control, so he started to turn back towards Grogu and Ragnar’s shenanigans.
But then he overheard the woman begin to soothe the young girl in her arms.
“Ny mo yariin, necta.”
It stopped him in his tracks and sent his head swiveling back in the direction it came from. His heart pounded beneath the elongated diamond stamped into the center of his chestplate as he felt something unlock in his memory.
He’d heard those same words before. So long ago that he was stunned when he recognized the phrase. So long ago that the meaning behind them was lost. But he knew they were spoken to him as comfort. He knew that they were words steeped in love. He watched the way the woman cradled the child to her armored chest, his eyes catching on the piece of red fabric that was pinned to the cowl of her flight suit.
No matter how impossible it seemed that the words he’d just heard had survived what a whole settlement of people hadn’t, no matter how unlikely it was that it was there of all places that he’d heard it, no matter how slim the odds were that the tattered scarlet linen was the same fabric that he remembered from his home, Din found himself drawn to her.
To you.
— — —
You were rewiring the com device in your helmet when you heard Tira’s cry.
Though you knew that she was probably fine - there were dozens of other Mandalorian adults present in the settlement, and you knew that none of them would allow any real harm to come to the children - you immediately set your work down and stepped outside, senses heightened. But as soon as you saw her running towards you, you relaxed. She wasn’t hurt or being chased. She’d likely just been knocked over by one of the bigger kids while they played one of their games. Tira was small, but didn’t like to be told that. And since her older brother had begun his trials and wasn’t there as often to make sure she didn’t get pushed around by the others, she’d been having trouble adjusting.
It didn’t help that less than a year ago, she and Maj had lost both of their parents in the battle to retake Mandalore, which is how the children had come to be in your care.
As a former foundling yourself, you were more than willing to step in and raise them as your own, just as the Mandalorian who rescued you the day your village was attacked and your parents were killed would have done had he not been able to reunite you with your kin. You’d been brought to Corellia, where your mother’s sister lived with her family, and they’d taken you in and raised you instead. It wasn’t until you became an adult that you rejoined the Mandalorians and took the Creed, choosing to commit your life to the very people who had saved it.
But though you mainly spoke Galactic Basic and were muddling your way through learning Mando’a, it was still your first language that came to you when you scooped a sniffling Tira into your arms and cradled her to your armored chest. It was still the words your parents - and then your aunt - had spoken to you when you’d been hurt or scared that you used to comfort the girl.
“Ny mo yariin, necta.”
You’re safe with me, sweet one.
You knew Tira and Maj didn’t speak Aquitto. They only knew the meaning of that one phrase because you’d taught it to them. And since your aunt had passed away, you knew that you were possibly the only person left in the galaxy who would even recognize it let alone speak it. As far as you knew, there hadn’t been any other survivors from your village that day. It struck you that every time you spoke it could be the last time it was ever uttered.
Pushing that thought from your mind, you focused on Tira, kissing her cheek and letting her clutch at the sculpted pin that held a piece of red fabric - a remnant of the hooded robe you’d been wearing the day you were rescued on Aq Vetina - in place on your cowl. The pin had belonged to your mother, the woman pressing it into your hand before disappearing to go try to fight off the monstrous machines with the rest of the village. As a child you would trace the design on it with your fingertip whenever she held you, whenever she made the same promise you were making Tira.
“Ny mo yariin, necta.”
By the time you’d said it a second time, the girl had stopped crying. The words themselves weren’t magic, but the sentiment in them was. Even if they were the last scraps of the Aquitto language to live on, you hoped that one day Tira or Maj would pass them along to a child who needed to hear them, too.
Whatever had brought on the sudden storm of tears had passed, and Tira wriggled in your hold as she caught sight of some of the other children watching as the Jedi foundling levitated chunky rocks for Ragnar to blast with darts. You chuckled at her eagerness to get back out there with the big kids. “Okay, necta. But watch out for yourself, got it?” You set her back on the ground, stooping down to her level and ruffling her hair. “I know you’re a tough one, but you still have to be careful.”
She nodded enthusiastically, telling you that she would be, and then she was gone, scurrying back across the crusty flatland towards the other kids. When you stood back up, you were met with the dark visor of Din Djarin - a man you’d never personally met, but who you’d heard a great deal about from the others in the settlement on Nevarro. You knew he was the Jedi foundling’s adoptive father. You knew he had previously wielded the Darksaber and that he was instrumental in helping Bo-Katan Kryze and the others take back Mandalore. You knew that he was responsible for reclaiming the beskar that your armor had been forged from.
– – –
“Oh, hello,” you greeted him, a small laugh in your voice that he figured was a result of the way he’d caught you off guard. You lifted a hand and reflexively tucked the piece of red fabric at your collar into place. “It’s Din, right?”
“Yes. Din Djarin. I’m sorry I don’t know your name, I-”
You waved him off and introduced yourself. Smiling, you pointed in the direction that the little one you’d just set down had run off in. “That’s your son over there, isn’t it? Tira was excited to see him.”
Din turned his head to follow your finger, though he didn’t need to look to know that you were indicating Grogu. “It is,” he confirmed, facing you again with a small shrug. “He likes to show off.”
You laughed at that. “I would too, if I could do what he can.”
“He’s a special kid,” Din replied, and you smiled again.
“He is.” You nodded, and it was clear to him that you were still unsure of why he had approached you. “Is there-”
“Can I ask you something?” He tilted his head, hidden eyes fixed on the fabric at your neck - and on the sculpted pin that held it in place, the designs so familiar to him he could feel them on his fingers.
You furrowed your brow, expression turning serious. “Of course. Not sure if I’ll be able to help you with it, but-” You held your hands up, palms to the sky. “Ask away.”
“The words you just spoke to that little girl… Tira?” You nodded so he went on. “How do you know that language?”
He watched your eyes widen with your blink. “You… You’re familiar with Aquitto?”
Din sighed, giving a slight shake of his head. “I didn’t even remember what it was called, but… Yes. Or, that phrase, anyway. How do you know it?”
You let out a breath. “I… I was born on Aq Vetina. It was the language my parents spoke. It…” Again your fingers came up to the pin and the fabric that it secured. “It was my first language. I was lucky that my aunt knew it, too, or else I would have forgotten it completely after our village was destroyed and-” Something dawned on you and your eyes widened again. “You said you were familiar with it?” He nodded. “How?”
You asked the question in a way that made him think you already knew the answer, but you needed - or wanted - to hear him say it. So he did. “Same as you. I was born there. It was my parents’ language. But I haven’t heard it spoken since the day droids raided our home.” He blinked, somewhat stunned that only moments before he had been mourning the loss of his native language and culture only to find a source of it right in front of him. “I didn’t know there were other survivors.”
Your mouth fell open slightly as you stared up into the visor that hid his eyes from view. When you spoke again it was quiet, your words equally full of disbelief. “Neither did I.” Your lips twitched into a small smile despite the way your eyes had started to water. “I’m glad we were both wrong, Din.”
“I am, too.” He felt a tightening in his chest, but it was unlike anything he felt before. It wasn’t from sorrow or anxiety, it wasn’t to alert him to a threat or caused by regret. It felt more like a connection forming - like meeting you had brought him closer to his own heart somehow. Instantly, a thousand questions popped into his mind for you, and he imagined you might have had some for him as well. But there was one thing he needed to know first. “Can you tell me what it means? What you said to Tira? My… I think my parents used to say it to me, and…” He trailed off, waiting for your response.
“It means, ‘You’re safe with me, sweet one.’” You smiled again. “It literally translates to ‘You’re in my heart’ though. It’s… It’s what you say to the people you love most.”
Just then, Grogu and Tira came tearing over, Din bending down to pick up his son and you settling your hand on the little girl’s head as she clung to your side. “Hey, Buddy. Remember when I told you about my parents and what I remembered about where I came from?”
“Patu.” His head moved up and down, ears flapping with his nod.
“Well, this lady comes from the same place that I do, and she just taught me how to say something in my old language. You wanna hear it?”
“Patu!” He spread his clawed fingers over Din’s chestplate.
Din looked over at you - at the warm smile on your face as you smoothed the little girl’s play-ruffled hair and gave him an encouraging nod - and then back down at Grogu. “Ny mo yariin, necta.”
.
.
.
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#hozier drabble challenge#din djarin x female reader#din djarin x you#din djarin x reader#din djarin x f!reader#din djarin fic#the mandalorian fic#butchered tongue#the mandalorian#may the 4th#star wars fic#din djarin#grogu#what can still be known#Spotify
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is#what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid#he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family#and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points#and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better#pflag#parents doing their best#parenting win#good news#allyship
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Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Another split type comic because I decided to be ambitious.#This flashback is currently beating my ass. There are so many timeskips within the flashback! My flow and pacing are wheezing!#I loved how this scene starts with the crowd's point of view. The observations and gossip add a lot.#And it helps reposition us to what the external perspective is on these two. Namely that 'they don't get along.'#Tensions are known! Even here in Nouveau Lotus Pier.#Ah...Lan Wangji never got a chance to see the Lotus Pier of Wei Wuxian's childhood and adolescence...did he?#It's not the same. He's not the same. Call them by the same name and people will know what you mean...#...but the first version - the one with the fond memories - is gone for good.#It's sort of interesting isn't it? How names can hold so much power and still be hollow?#We often get stuck over past versions of things. Be it ourselves or other people or places.#Change is scary but the truth is nothing ever stays the same. It's always moving. You're always moving.#It's okay to mourn the past. Maybe it's people you lost or the person you hoped to be. Let yourself feel the grief.#And then? Then you grow around that pain and keep on going. If you feel like you can't - remember you don't have to do it alone.#A side note: Listening to the tossing flowers extra is so essential for this scene. It's cute and gives us more of [redacted]#What's [redacted]? You'll see in the next comic!
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the most important distinction between boba fett and jango fett is that jango fett grew up on a farm and then in a traveling mandalorian merc clan and boba fett grew up in a city sized lab and then juvie and then every gutter in the galaxy from here to nar shaddaa
#and both of them have seen way too much shit they can't unsee#jango fett#boba fett#txt#I feel like people gloss over boba's coming of age era cause it's a content void but I do think it's important to his character#gestures vaguely Something(s) happened there#teenage to early 20s boba is very fun to think about cause he's like the exoskeleton of the adult boba we see#by which I mean he's very troubled kid archetype very antagonistic hasnt really nailed down much about who he is besides the main stuff he's#already known forever#so he's basically being dragged through the alleys of the galaxy learning all these very hard lessons#and at the same time developing all these ideas about what he can be what he's going to be what he wants#there's a lot of kids floating through the gutters and a lot of them dont make it out#and boba has a lot of big advantages but there's also an explosiveness to him that is necessary to power him through all the#Trials and Tribulations and Associated Bullshit to the position that he holds comfortably later#22 year old fuck it we ball ruthless boba is the reason 37 year old still ruthless boba gets to say he's just a simple man making his way#through the galaxy#and likewise while I think most of his idealism burns off early#I think there's a lot more social self-positioning inner turmoil that burns off like a comet tail over the years#my beautiful meta characterization using like 30% of total boba fett media#I need to become a true scholar of boba fett#etc etc
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I'VE WANTED TO DO THIS EVER SINCE I SAW THIS PANEL AND ONLY REMEMBERED NOW
Next Gen 13 Crowns
Demon King Sullivan Iruma
Lord of Flames, Asmodeus Alice
Creative Queen (or Lord of Fun?), Valac Clara
King of Games, Shax Lied
Ambitious King, Sabnock Sabro
Head of Lust, Ix Elizabetta
Serpent Lord, Andro M. Jazz
Lord of Knowledge, Allocer Schneider
Head of Sloth, Agares Picero
Lord of Four Winds, Gaap Goemon
Snow Queen, Crocell Kerori
Beast King, Caim Camui
Lord of Mysteries, Purson Soi
(The Thirteen Crowns Drinking Parties are Legendary)
BONUS:
Chief of Demon Border Patrol, Azazel Ameri
(maybe one day it will be Demon King and his Thirteen Crowns...)
#mairuma#azz is lord of flames because I highly doubt he'd want to take over his mom's title LMAO#in exchange we have nee-san as the new head of lust YAY#also thinking of a title for Clara was hard#because actually she's known to be fun-times expert among the love trio#and idk if lord of fun is good?#Lord of Fun is Very Clara tho#king of games lied is very ygo vibes of him#also I was thinking of king of thieves for jazz but like... what is this ygo?#anyways the Andro family is also known as serpent thieves so serpent lord it can be for now#FOR SABRO I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING “Demonic King” LMAO#but settled for ambitious king because obvs he's still challenging iruma for the demon king throne but like in a friendly rivalry way#allocer is allocer and agares is obviously head of sloth#four winds in the sense of north east west south winds LET'S GO GAAP#snow queen kerori is still lowkey an idol#beast king camui is now popular hopefully he's happy#LORD OF MYSTERIES PURSON SOI I THINK HE'D LOVE THIS TITLE#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#welcome to demon school! iruma-kun#wtdsik
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away from it all
#my art#angron#warhammer#i wanted to make a bigger better rendered version of this but man i dont think i have it in me#you can interpret this however you want#maybe lying down alone succumbing to a death long overdue in a place untouched by the talons of mankind#or perhaps things went differently. tragedy still looming over him but a respite came before it all coalesced into our known heresy#something else entirely? just a nice pretty picture even#ive been walking around in the wilds more recently so i think thats what sparked this#really fond of him. i feel tremendous sorrow and compassion towards him even with his own terrible faults
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"We need cash." Two, Soda, Steve, Dallas, Pony, 'n Johnny crowd the living room in a loose circle like mourners at a funeral. Between them, the shattered, stacked, 'n swept together corpse of what had once been their TV.
"We? Ain't my fault it's broken." Dallas kicks at a shard of glass 'n Pony narrows his eyes at him. "Blame it on the kid 'n call it a night."
"Hey!" Pony stomps a foot before he can catch himself, crosses his arms. "It wasn't me!"
Steve scoffs, rolls his eyes. Pony's face darkens murderously. "Was too."
"No, it was not! You were the one who fuckin' threw me!" Soda 'n Two's eyes ping pong back 'n fourth between the two of them.
"Did not! 'N if I did it was only 'cause you started the fight."
"Bullshit!" Pony's voice hits a shrill high note 'n Steve smirks at him, self-satisfied. "I only started it 'cause you were fuckin' callin' me names you asshole."
"Well, I wouldn't have been callin' you names if you hadn't been actin' like a brat." Pony lets out an indignant wail 'n Soda has to fly across the group to snag him by the waist so he doesn't start right back up again.
"Ok, ok. Enough you two." Pony writhes around like a fish on a hook for another moment before Soda jabs him in the ribs 'n he howls but stops fightin'. "This isn't solvin' our problems."
"I don't see how this is an us problem." Dallas tries again, hooks an arm around Johnny's shoulder 'n pulls him close. "I just got here, Johnny wasn't involved, 'n neither was Two. Soda bites the bullet for not stoppin' 'em 'n Darry can string the idiots up as he so pleases. What's the problem?"
Steve 'n Pony both turn on him, united for the first time that afternoon, fingers pointed 'n accusin'. "'Cause Two was bettin' on us-"
"Hey! Look, all's fair 'n love 'n war or whatever they say. Nobody asked ya to start rumblin' in the livin' room of all places."
"Yeah, 'n Darry'll love to hear that." Steve grabs his hip, wags a finger in a pretty damn passin' imitation of Darry. "Two-Bit Mathews you're how old now? Glory God almighty when are you gonna get any sense- OW!" Steve hollers at the comic Two's rolled up 'n thumped him over the head with.
"Ok, Ok fine. But I wasn't fuckin' bettin' against myself!" Two glares pointedly at Soda who rocks back 'n forth on his heels, suddenly findin' the floor real interestin'.
"Soda!" Steve stops nursin' his head to glare at Soda with wide eyes.
"Hey! Look! I'm sorry!" He blinks, tries his best tip-earnin' grin. "It was all on you, Stevie."
"SODA!" Pony whips on him quick as quick, quiverin' with as much indignance 'n outrage a fourteen-year-old can manage. Soda swallows back a snort, grabs Pony's face in his hands. "I'm sorry-"
"Well. Tough shit for y'all. But I don't see what this has to do with me or Johnny 'n I'm of the mind to beat it before Darry gets home 'n raises hell."
"Uh, Dal." Johnny clears his throat 'n tries to ignore the pointed stares of the rest of the gang hot on his face, runs a hand up the back of his neck, blows out a long breath. "IhadfiftycentsonPonyboy."
"Johnny!" Dallas drops him but doesn't sound half as annoyed as he does impressed.
"Well at least someone was in my corner-" Pony shoots Soda an aggravated glance 'n Soda throws his hands up placatingly.
"Yeah, speakin' of which." Two whips his hand out, palm up, 'n makes a grabbin' motion. Both Soda 'n Johnny huff but reach in their pockets 'n pull out quarters, dumpin' into Two's waitin' hands. He hoots his laughter 'n shoves the dollars' worth of change into his pants.
"Wait, who were you bettin' on Two?" Steve crosses his arms at the same time Pony plunks his hands on his hips, both glarin' accusingly.
"Me? I wasn't playin' for neither of ya! I bet y'all were gonna break somethin'!" Two cracks himself up, howlin'. It doesn't last for long 'n Pony 'n Steve turn succinctly on him, draggin' him down to the floor 'n landin' jabs wherever they can reach.
"Good lord. Well, y'all have fun with that one. I'm peelin' outta here."
"Oh no you don't." Soda catches one hand deftly in the collar of Dallas' jacket as he turns to leave, hefts him back. "You even think about wormin' outta this I'll tell Darry about that time you smoked all that pot 'n threw up 'n I had to carry a bowl a soup down to Buck's for your scrawny ass."
"Yeah, or that time you got picked up for shopliftin' 'n when the cops called I picked up the phone 'n never told Dar." Steve pauses in his onslaught of Two-Bit to throw his hat in the ring. The moment he's not focused Two wriggles out, flips him easily onto his back.
"Or that one time with Tim-"
"OK. Goddamn! No wonder Darry's goin' grey. Y'all are enough to send a man to an early grave." Dallas scowls 'n throw his hands up, shakin' Soda off. "So what now?"
"Now we need cash." Two says plaintively 'n they all stare down at the wreckage again.
"Ok. Thanks, genius." Steve rolls his eyes, clambers back to his feet, offers Pony his hand 'n hauls him up. "What are we lookin' at here? Like what? Twenty bucks?"
"Twenty bucks? Steve, what world do you live on where a TV is twenty goddamn bucks?" Dallas toes at the the box 'n it sparks. "Jesus Christ, none of you unplugged it? Hurry up 'n yank the plug out before we gotta by Dar a new house too."
Both Soda 'n Johnny dive for the cord 'n Johnny pulls up at the last second so they don't crack their heads together.
"So what, like fifty?" Pony 'n Soda exchange a glance, avert their eyes.
"Uh, try more like eighty, man." Soda plops down on his ass, looks desolately at the hunk of plastic 'n glass again.
"EIGHTY? Guys. We're dead. More than dead. Dar's gonna kill us, bury us, 'n then dig us back up again." Steve chews at his thumbnail, paces quick back 'n forth.
"Naw, Steve. Be realistic." Two grins, stuffs his hands into his pockets. "He'd never go through all that work for us. I think just killin' us the first time around'll do it."
Pony groans, presses both his palms into his eyes 'n collapses back into the armchair. "Not funny, Two."
"Aw, not even a lil-" He's cut off by the throw pillow Steve beams at his head, hittin' him square in the face.
"Man focus. We got cash, right?" Dallas refocuses the room, looks at them each in turn. The silence is answer enough, the celin', floor, 'n walls becomin' real fascinatin'. "Man, y'all've got to be jokin'. Steve, don't you have some money from the DX or your da put away?"
"Uh, well, no. Not really. Kinda, uh, lost it. All." He twiddles the bottom of his vest between his fingers, refuses to look up.
"Whatta ya mean lost it?"
"Look you lose one goddamn drag 'n suddenly everyone's crawlin' up your ass! How was I supposed to know that? 'N hey, what about you, Two? I don't hear you offerin' anythin' up."
"Ha! What money? I didn't have anythin' to start with don't look at me. Ask Soda, he's employed."
Soda throws his hands up guiltily. "Don't look over here. I got six bucks to my good name."
"Yeah, good 'n broke-" Soda pulls a face 'n kicks Dallas hard in the shin before he can duck outta the way.
"Where'd your paycheck go, Soda?" Johnny prods at him with his foot 'n Soda playfully catches it, yanks at him.
"Hey, I keep the lights on in this place!"
"And the rest of it?" Johnny pulls back 'n, when he realizes Soda ain't lettin' up, reaches down to jab at the ticklish spot on Soda's ribs.
"What? A man can't be afforded a lil' fun?" Soda yowls 'n drops his foot, wrigglin' backwards to get away. "How was I supposed to know a guitar was twenty-five bucks?"
"Soda!" Pony's jaw drops open. "You can't even play!"
"Hey! Yet! Gimme some credit! Plus I don't wanna hear anythin' from mister no job over there." Soda crosses his arms dramatically but he's grinnin' the whole way 'n all of them know he doesn't mean it.
"That ain't fair! Darry won't let me get a job. 'Course I don't got no goddamn money. Look at Dal. He's got a job!"
"First of all, I didn't even break the fuckin' TV. Second of all, how much money I got is none of your damn business." Dallas scowls, turns his nose up. Steve groans, drops down to the couch with his head in his hands.
"God so we're all broke."
"Hey-!"
"Shut up, Dal." Two cuts him off 'n Dallas' shifts his glare, damn near murderous. "Johnny Cakes?" He tries, weakly hopeful.
"Uh, I got three bucks." Soda quirks an eyebrow up 'n Johnny plops his hands on his hips.
"Where did you-"
"Ya gonna ask questions or are ya gonna take it?" Soda studies him for a moment, arms crossed still 'n doin' a cartoonish impression of a fussin' hen.
"Boys, we got a real hood among us here today." He hoots 'n Johnny kicks him in the hip, both of them still howlin'. "So that brings us up to, what?"
"Uh, nine bucks. Ten if someone can wrestle that change outta Two's pocket." Pony leans forward, elbows on his knees, 'n sizes Two up like he stood even a single chance.
"Man. I want lillies at my funeral. Can I put that out there? Should we do last rites now or-"
"Aw, hush up, Steve. Look, we just gotta scrape together a little money before Dar gets back. We can get, uh, what was it?" Soda frowns, counts absently on his fingers.
"Seventy more bucks." Pony dead pans 'n Soda's self-assured smile wavers a bit.
"C'mon, that's nothin'! We just gotta put our heads together." Soda climbs to his feet, rubs his hands together in thought. "How do we get our hands on some quick cash?"
Dallas 'n Two open their mouths 'n Soda throws out an accusin' finger to each of them. "'N nobody's doin' nothin' illegal 'cause if Dar has to pick one of us from the station before he comes home to no TV he's gonna start inventin' cruel 'n unusual punishments, y'hear?"
Dallas rolls his eyes 'n mutters 'n Two nods absently in agreement but they both don't offer any other ideas. "Anythin' else?"
"Uh, pawn shop?" Pony offers.
"Yeah, great idea, Pone. Anyone have any expensive jewelry they've been keepin' back?" Steve drawls, dryly, apparently resigned to his fate.
"Well, it ain't mine but I got, uh, a Singer we could sell." Dallas leans back in the doorway, waits for the onslaught of questions. They don't disappoint.
"A Singer? Dal, you've been watchin' me hafta hand hem 'n you had a Singer?" Soda howls, goes to kick him in the shin again but Dallas is prepared this time 'n dodges it.
"Where the hell did you get a Singer-?"
"Why-?"
"Look! It was Sylvie's, right? When I kicked her out she didn't get the chance to take it or nothin'. It ain't mine." He throws his hands up defensively, eyes Soda still standin' close enough to wallop him if he decided to. Soda glares back like he's still makin' up his mind about goin' for round two.
"Aw, man. We can't pawn off Sylvie's stuff." Johnny backs outta the way as Soda decides to give it another go 'n jabs at Dallas. "She mighta been a lil' mean but she don't deserve to have her shit sold off."
"The bitch- Soda get offa me- two-timed me? Remember?" Dallas knocks Soda's hands deftly away 'n Soda sneaks in on more solid kick before retreatin'.
"Oh, yeah." Johnny rocks back 'n forth on his heels, still clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea.
"Maybe Soda 'n Steve could pick up some extra shifts for a bit?" Pony tries again, clearly not as willin' as Steve to lie down 'n take his medicine.
"Yeah, another winner, Pone. 'N when Darry comes home to no TV tonight?" Steve scowls at him 'n Pony glares back, the two still dangerously close to another all-out scrap.
"Well, at least I'm comin' up with somethin'."
"Doesn't help if it's all stupid-"
"Alright you two, knock it off. We can't afford to have to buy anythin' else y'all broke 'cause y'all can't keep your traps shut." Two cuts in 'n they both round on him, glarin'.
"Look who's talkin'!" Steve mutters 'n Two grins 'n flips him off.
The laughter 'n bickerin' trail off, lapsin' into silence again. Each lookin' guiltily at the disaster, eyein' each other. "Well, uh, is anyone not above beggin'?" No one says anythin' 'n Two clicks his teeth, nods. "Yeah, didn't think so."
"Hey, guys." Six heads turn to look at Pony, suddenly ashen 'n lookin' past them up at the clock in the kitchen. "Is this a bad time to tell y'all Dar told me to tell y'all he'd be home early this afternoon?"
"Pony." Steve flies to his feet, grabs Pony by his shoulders. "How early?"
Somehow, Pony manages to pale even further. "Uh. In like. An hour?"
As if it had heard, the TV hisses, flashes, lets out one final death rattle 'n falls silent so it's just the seven of them, eyein' each other like men at the gallows.
"Dallas?" Johnny gives himself a shake, grabs his jacket from the back of the sofa.
"Yeah, man?"
"Let's get your girlfriend's stuff."
#UGH#this was so fun actually#guys#theyre silly#when you think about it#also this fic was SO dialogue heavy#yall dont know it yet but this is me makin up for somethin im cookin up that is both sad N has like 5 total speakin lines#anyways#my penitance#theyre just my guys frl#lettin them be kids forever n ever#also even if they had managed to replace the TV darrry still would have come straight home#taken one look at them#n simply known#darry can see STRAIGHT through their asses#the outsiders#sodapop curtis#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis#dallas winston#steve randle#johnny cade#two bit mathews#my writing#also if you can tell me what song this fic is based off of ill love you forever#the outsiders fanfiction
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they should make a body that doesnt try to kill you if you go on a little walk
#this doesn't always happen its just decided on anarchy today#even though i haven't done anything that usually triggers this#i need my walkies but sitting on the porch will have to suffice for the rest of the week i reckon#and in truth it was an incredibly small walk. about an american city blocks length#alas. bed bound until it stops#not a horse#whatever you do dont pick up an auto immune thing it will change you in unfortunate ways#stay healthy so you can go outside and go for fun little jaunts#still bizzare to me that i probably wouldnt have ended up so sick if what i have was known 7 years ago#instead i just started dying yknow?
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failure and futility
for day 2 of campfire fest! prompt: third eye (and i guess could also count for explosion, or a lack thereof lol) @outerwilds-events
#i meant to do something yesterday but i had a crazy shift at work and was feeling lazy lol#anyways. pye and idaea after the probe didn't work#this line of text is the first thing that comes to mind for 'third eye' for me bc its the only evidence/in-game mention of the nomai's -#- third eye being special/different from the other two in some way. im curious if it is actually composed differently and has better vision#or if it is just better for seeing fine details in things directly in front of them since it is forward-facing as opposed to -#- being on the sides of their head#also i just think about these two a lot. can you imagine being co-leaders of the most difficult and controversial part of a massive project#that is so important to so many people including your friends family members and ancestors who have died in search of what you are -#- going to potentially destroy your entire clan while attempting to find#you are building a weapon intended to destroy yourself and the entire star system you were born in#and your co-leader is the person with quite possibly the most opposite opinions and disposition to you#idaea having to grapple with the fact that the failure of something he never wanted to exist in the first place is still upsetting to him -#- because despite their differences he still sympathizes with pye who was so confident and wanted it to work so badly#and both of them as well as anyone else working at the sun station put so much time and energy into constructing it#and that work was so miserable due both to the heat and the tension due to their differing opinions and their own mixed feelings on it#pye having to admit defeat to everyone else working on the project who were so excited for this to finally give them the answer#in front of idaea who was so convinced that it was a bad idea and who she was probably desperate to prove wrong#in front of the entire crew of people who had spent probably months in miserable working conditions#after she had been so confident that it would work and so insistent that this was the only way#and she had to admit not only that it failed but that it couldn't possibly work. that deep down she knew and had probably known for a while#- that it would never work and had continued working on it anyway because she wanted it to work so bad#anyways. the fucking brainworms#tried out a new style for this and i really like how it turned out#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#outer wilds nomai#frostgnaw draws
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angel sunshine for an angel sunshine | for @huhfeatjhope
#bts#btsgif#dailybts#rékagif#hoseok#jung hoseok#bts hoseok#jhope#btsjhope#usersky#bebbi... it's your birthday but honestly i am the one who got a present with you.#a lot has happened lately but u stayed in my life even tho i would have understood if you'd have decided to leave#i don't know what i did to deserve this but i am so thankful#thank you for not giving up on me#you are a blessing for many people in their life#you are the best person i've ever known and what you mean to me cannot be expressed by words#i love you and i wish you nothing but all the happiness and sunshine and warmth and love in this world#happy that even tho we are both terrible at texting back we still keep in touch and i can call you a dear friend#happy happy happy birthday darling! may you always stay the sunshine that you are!
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WRESTLING POST:
Brakul approximately .5 seconds before tapping out in an impromptu chamenikoma match with compatriot Khattaliba Odebi.
There are two distinct forms of sport wrestling practiced here (not counting wrestling involving animals), called kagnomatso and chamenikoma. Both could be classed as submission wrestling, with victory in a match depending primarily upon forcing the opponent to concede defeat via pain/fear/exhaustion inflicted in joint locks and chokes, and secondarily (if at all) upon point scoring. Neither style fully originated here, and similar/connected forms of wrestling can be found around the eastern inner seaway.
Chamenikoma is squarely a combat sport, and its techniques are derived from (and still used in) actual life-or-death battles. Its name literally means 'naked combat', with 'naked' in this context having the implications of being unarmed/potentially unarmored. It developed in part as means for unarmed combatants to disable or kill armed/armored foes, though is also practiced as a form of training and sport. It mixes elements of kickboxing with grappling, and the Wardi variant of the broader tradition particularly emphasizes kicking strikes and leg holds. While a heavier combatant will usually be at an advantage, sufficient technical skill can overcome a fair deal of weight difference, especially given much of the technique in initially grounding an opponent revolves around using their momentum/weight against them.
Young boys who receive combat training as a part of their formal education will almost always be taught at least basics of chamenikoma, and the sport is a standard facet of training and upkeep among warrior orders. There are two sub-forms, 'armored' chamenikoma (self-explanatory, performed wearing full armor) and 'naked' chamenikoma (in this case meaning unarmored but usually clothed, actual nude matches are rare). Variants used in pure sport usually fall into the latter category, while forms used for intensive combat training or martial displays fall into the former.
Most chamenikoma tournaments are hosted by and within state warrior orders, and require membership to participate. Forms open to athletes from the general public are one of many sports in the annual triple games (a ten day sun worship + martial holiday based sporting event, hosted alternatively by year in Wardin, Ephennos, and Erubinnos), and some other towns/cities/villages put on their own tournaments opportunistically or as part of holidays.
Sport variants usually involve rules that Reduce the potential for fatalities, though there are few prohibitions against injurious behaviors and serious injuries/deaths are not unknown. Eye-gouging and opportunistic use of weapons (rocks sticks etc) are the only maneuvers that are forbidden in every possible context. Biting is considered a legitimate method of breaking holds, but is a foul if used to force submission, and bites to any part of the head/neck is usually forbidden. Hair pulling is not prohibited and considered a legitimate technique, to the point that some 'naked' tournaments will forbid participation if a combatant's hair isn't long enough for a topknot. Grappling at an opponent’s clothing/armor is also permissible, as is intentional grasping to the genitals. More restrictive rules are often set ahead of time in casual fights or those used exclusively for training.
Referees may intervene on some of these behaviors at their discretion, especially if they deem the intent purely to injure or humiliate rather than to induce submission (ie: tugging at the hair to induce pain or maintain bodily control is okay, but ripping at an already locked opponents hair is not). Referees for formal chemenikoma tournaments are almost always former wrestlers themselves (and/or high ranking warriors), and their calls are final and indisputable within any given match (though not always uncontroversial).
Matches begin upright and usually end on the ground. Fighters will start off in a readied stance and will generally attempt to kick/sweep the opponent to the ground, at which point they can be grappled into submission. Fighting will be paused if the combatants leave the designated arena space, though this does not incur any penalties. A match is won when one wrestler yields (either verbally or by tapping out, signaled by thumping the ground/their own body twice with a hand or foot), or else when one is unconscious/otherwise unresponsive. Downing an opponent and then taking a 'finishing' stance (standing with one foot placed on their neck) is also an automatic win regardless of if a yield has been declared, which is symbolically a statement of 'you would be dead if this was real warfare'.
Though these matches can get fairly nasty in physical content, chemenikoma wrestlers are expected to maintain overall respectful compartment towards their foes. A match begins with both performing a bow to one another, and insulting/mocking/spitting at a foe is socially unacceptable and can occasionally lead to disqualification. Losers are strongly expected to remain stoic and avoid signalling excessive frustration (submission is part of the sport and doesn't lead to a loss of social status as it does in actual duels, but submitting and then being notably pissy about it sometimes does). This sport has high social esteem as a demonstration of martial skill, and most participants will take it very seriously, going out of their way to compliment a worthy but defeated opponent.
---
Kagnomatso (essentially '(great/strong) dance') is purely sport-wrestling, and less physically dangerous than chamenikoma. It has little connection to any combat traditions and is intended as a test and showcase of raw strength, revolving entirely around grappling with striking being strictly prohibited. The goal is to knock an opponent to the ground through grappling and throws, and to subsequently force submission through chokes and locks. Being a heavier weight class always puts you at a considerable advantage over a lighter opponent, and technical skill only goes so far to overcome this. Tournaments (and most Wardi sporting events in general) also don't separate size or age classes, so if you've got a lightweight stature you're probably out of luck. Specialized athletes will generally be on the larger end of the size range, and access to a high calorie diet to gain + maintain weight is often a necessity for success in any formalized competitions.
Kagnomatso fighting has less of a skill barrier than proper chamenikoma, and small-scale tournaments are very often organized at village scales during holidays. Bigger tournaments are organized by cities, and also feature into the triple games. Formal bouts are generally held in small, circular rings, over grass or dirt that has been raked free of stones. Competitors wipe down their skin with olive oil soaked rags prior to a bout, rendering them more difficult to grasp but not outright sodden. They will generally compete in loincloths, though some community-organized tournaments involve fighting nude to wholly prevent grappling with clothing (which is considered cheating).
Kagnomatso tournament matches usually include point systems, which have some functions in keeping these time limitless matches from going on excessively long (though bouts between evenly matched competitors are still known to sometimes last hours). Points are scored by forcing the opponent out of the ring or pinning/holding an opponent in a prone position (chest and hips both touching the ground) for three counts. A match is automatically won if one wrestler hits ten points.
The primary goal is still to force the opponent to yield rather than to score points, as this is a more surefire way of achieving victory (and tends to be more entertaining). Matches are also sometimes called by referee on the basis of one wrestler approaching unconsciousness or otherwise being clearly incapable of continuing, even if he hasn’t yielded.
Intentional striking, eye gouging, twisting the fingers, intentional targeting/grasping of the genitals, biting, grappling with clothing, and pulling of hair is prohibited, and can mean an automatic loss at the referee's discretion. Other behaviors may be called by referees, particularly if a wrestler is judged to be attempting to break or dislocate an opponents limbs. Referees in formal tournaments generally carry a khaittail flyswatter (has a leather pad and functions as a whip) to break apart combatants when need be.
#Odebi is a minor Whitecalf character + one of the Odotsomale warrior order commanders#Brakul has like. a 1-sided rivalry with him. He's known Odebi exactly as long as he's known Janeys and Odebi has literally like#always been very friendly and courteous to him but he almost immediately rubbed him the wrong way by saying some really#really nasty shit towards Janeys (who Brakul didn't give much of a shit about at that point but he was sensitive to what was being said)#and Brakul also kind of just feels threatened by any men approximately his height. So he's like semi-stealth trying#to one-up him constantly . He has a few such enemies. Odebi still likes him as a person and is just kind of confused about all this.#He's like. why do we never hang. can we hang#Odebi is not nobility (spent most of his childhood as a servant stablehand and is also a nameless bastard) and is a significant#case of induction on actual merit. He's an extremely talented rider and mounted archer in the present day. His faux family name#essentially just means like 'horseman' but with khait
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i changed my mind, disregard previous posts. girldad lawrence clears actually.

#decided this subplot is good and makes sense for him tbh#its deliciously hypocritical to adore a little girl whose future he has a direct hand in destroying by refusing to give up on new bethlehem#lawrence is at his most compelling when he's caring for a woman/girl in his life who is (or will be) directly impacted by his policies#but he's too much of a reformist to admit that the best thing he can do for the women he loves is to cede power#and he's so staunchly reformist BECAUSE has never yet been willing to cede that power BECAUSE he's a narcissist#he wasn't even willing to do it for his wife who he clearly loved more than anything#but paternal love is so different from romantic love & it means developing a willingness to give up anything for your baby#and i think angela was the only thing that prompted lawrence to give up power after he found out he was headed for the wall#like 100 percent by the end of the season he would have killed himself regardless of whether he had known angela or not#but it was probably because of her that he stayed in gilead risking the wall instead of taking the simpler path by defecting to canada#he would've stood trial in the ICC either way; and helping mayday wouldn't have built any credible defense#and at the end of the day nothing encapsulates lawrence better than being a selfish egomaniac at the expense of his loved ones#i think i was put off by that relationship at first bc it makes him appear too woobified for my taste; which i still believe to an extent#but the characterization this subplot serves is worth more than what audience woobification syndrome does to him imo#the handmaid's tale
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#he doesn't want to fight with you ai di, he wants to Kiss🙄💘🥺
Nat Chen as CHEN YI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#chen yi x ai di#ai di x chen yi#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userrain#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#okay i made this specifically for the 3rd gif bc chen yi's expressions are making me giggle nonstop i was doubled over in tears last night#HE JUST WANTS TO KISS!! AI DI HE LOVES YOU LET HIM HIT IJDKSKG#okay real talk though the fact that he actually gives ai di space 90% of the time. lets him hang out at the bar#like he isnt following him around or constantly dogging him about giving him an answer not does he ever rly ACCUSE ai di of anything#he uses the zhang teng excuse to keep ai di from avoiding him but he doesnt try to keep him where he can see him constantly.#he lets ai di do his own thing and just spends time connecting the dots during the moments ai di comes back of his OWN VOLITION#& he slowly puts together what ai di is refusing to admit and makes his own intentions known without putting them in words either#besides stating his observations (& watching ai di react). Every interaction between them when ai di gets out of prison is like that#gifs 1&2 vs 4&5... letting ai di pull away because he doesnt know whats going on vs pulling him back both to say hey we arent done-#& say im still here FOR YOU - to see how ai di reacts being so close to chen yi after finding him hugging his jacket in his sleep#and then once hes Figured It Out he still keeps the space!! sends gifts... he only Acts when ai di comes back to him himself!!!!#and this time he's READY. and a simp. like. PLS the last 2 gifs..........dude. he wants to kiss so bad
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesn’t it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn y’know hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isn’t that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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TOGAME JO ↳ for @feitanporter happy birthday my love <3
#togame jo#jo togame#wind breaker#windbreakeredit#» gifs#animangahive#anisource#allanimanga#dailyanimatedgifs#fyanimegifs#dailyanime#animangaboys#useradrienne#usericybtch#userrashed#hello my beloved#my most wonderful darling#happiest of happy birthdays to youuuuuu <3#i would like to let it be known that i really truly love you#we’ve talked about it more than once that what the two of us have is special#and it is#the way that i can shed my armor when i’m with you and never feel anxious in doing so is truly magical#i know i don’t have much of a filter in general and i talk about a lot of stuff with a lot of people#but the anxiety is still there#but not with you#with you i can truly and fully be myself without the anxiety and if that isn’t special i don’t know what is#thank you for everything that you have done for me through the years we’ve known each other#thank you for being my person#and thank you for loving me#happy birthday my love <3
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Incredibly long post about Trey and Riddle's Relationship that I vaguely said I'd do in the tags of my posts somewhere
Disclaimer: this is not intended to be shipping in any way I very much view them as family, even more so after these updates. To start with I'm going to separate their relationship into 3 distinct stages and focus on their perceptions of each other at each stage. I think their relationship is wonderfully written As usual, I ramble so sorry in advance, but I really want to analyze how complex they are.
Stage one: Childhood: ||Riddle|| A friend: Trey and Chenya were Riddle's first friends. Riddle had spent his whole life knowing the four walls of his home and his mother and both Trey and Chenya were his gateway to experiencing the world outside his windows. As such, they're immensely valuable to him. Under his mother he had no other way to grow socially, so when provided with a logical reason for going out and playing (Chenya stated his grandpa believed play is a form of study) he jumped at it because he wanted that connection. Trey specifically was his ideal. I think he looked up to him a lot. Normal home life. His mother didn't confine or trap him in any way. And he could eat whatever he liked. That's why when Trey said that one or two slices of tart wouldn't hurt, it was good enough to sway Riddle. All his life he'd grown up hearing about sweets being poison. But Trey seems happy and fulfilled so surely it's not as bad. However, breaking his mother's rule made him lose everything. The momentary friendship he'd built and any chance of freedom. It impressed upon him the importance of following the rules because breaking them lead to loss. And on top of that, it left him with guilt. I talk a lot about Trey's guilt in this situation (and I will talk more) but Riddle has his own guilt too that just manifested in a different way. More on that later.
||Trey|| A brother: While Riddle might have viewed Trey as a friend (no doubt because he was an isolated only child with a different perception and a lot of baggage tied to the world family), Trey saw him as a brother. He expressly states in his dream that Riddle was smart enough to identify plants and flowers and had enough magic control to get their soccer ball out of the trees, and he felt proud to have a smart little brother. And this sort of label is easier for him because he comes from a rather healthy family with siblings and has a blood brother around Riddle's age. Instinctively, Riddle became someone he wanted to care for, spoil, and cherish. That's why after knowing Riddle wanted to try a tart he wanted to let him. Later on, he tries to dismiss or come to terms with his actions in various ways, stating that it was not his place and of course anyone would get upset if their house rules and dietary restrictions weren't being respected. He tries to make it out into a joke, saying it's become a family incident of sorts that they just laugh about. "Who gets that mad at children playing." But underneath all those attempts to bury his own trauma, lies guilt. Because he feels, deep down, that as a brother he should have protected Riddle better. And instead, after just 2 months, he had to see everything that made Riddle happy stripped away again. More on this later. Stage 2: Riddle's First Year
||Riddle|| A stranger. Riddle's changed. He's developed some of his mother's anger. He's been confined for years. And because of that one incident with the tart, he firmly believes that growth and by extension fulfillment can only happen under the rules. Moreover, since Trey represents that period of his life where he learned that lesson rather harshly, he ices Trey out, pretending he barely knows him. After all, they might as well be strangers after all these years. Especially since Trey is banned from his house. This is a result of the guilt I mentioned earlier. He failed to follow his mother's rules and the punishment put Trey and his peaceful family that he looked up to in the crossfire. I think a part of him doesn't know how to face Trey after all that, worried that he might hate him. However, he cannot fully erase his own memories. So it is Trey he consults when he asks how to challenge a dorm leader for the seat. Even if he's distancing himself by calling him "Clover-senpai" Trey still remains someone he trusts to a degree. After Riddle takes the throne he makes a decision I find interesting. He doesn't select a vice, instead he leaves it to the popular vote. This could be read two ways IMO. Either, he didn't feel the need to have a vice because he was so confident in his own skills, but was aware that it was customary to have one so it didn't matter to him who it was. Or, deep down, he was afraid that no one would be willing to work with him. After seeing his dream, I do think it might be the latter. All of the darkness versions of his card soldiers showed some form of disloyalty. Willing to go along with the idea that they might jump ship, or that Riddle could be overpowered. It's this insecurity born from his own fear of his mother. He knows he's become a reflection of her, and he's worried how other people might react to it. In the end, he's still chasing those relationships from childhood, but is stuck believing that rules are the only way to keep what little happiness he has which alienates him from Trey to a degree. ||Trey|| A brother still: Despite the years, Trey's feelings about Riddle hadn't changed much other than being swamped with underlying guilt. Upon realizing that Riddle was going to attend NRC, his first instinct was to create a space for him. Trey generally, is introverted but excited to see his childhood friend again, he ends up talking to the people around him saying that Riddle was a quiet but studious boy and he hopes that people will welcome him. That was at least, before he saw what Riddle had become (he ended up fighting Floyd at the entrance ceremony) leaving Trey with the realization that this was not the boy he knew anymore. And worse, he was pretending not to know him. I'm sure it hurt, but even so, when RIddle asked about dueling the housewarden, he did try to accommodate him (after getting over his initial shock). The thing that gets me the most, however, is that Trey still saw the good in him. Trey in the rose maze part of Riddle's dream tells Ortho that the first thing Riddle did when he became housewarden was tend to the roses. To him that was a sign that Riddle was still somewhere in there and he was willing to support that. He would have been resigned to accepting that he was a stranger to Riddle if he hadn't been elected vice, but regardless of how Riddle felt, Trey still felt responsible for him. Both out of guilt and because he was still family.
#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#trey clover#twst trey#riddle rosehearts#twst riddle#im sorry this is so long#but i can't help it they mean the world to me#trey who values family so much and riddle who doesn't know what family is outside of the rigid structure he's known#trying to understand each other because they're so caught up in their own perspectives of what happened#they were just children#it just makes me cry#heartslabyul#is family#no one can ever change my mind after this#especially since trey outright called riddle his littler brother#i smacked my head into my keyboard when i heard it#even better he uses present continuous#basically saying i still think of him as my brother#wow twst#fucking gut punch#okay#also tell me why i relate to both of them this is fuckign me up#the moral of this story is i think we should revoke mama rosehearts license#not kill her bc riddle would be sad but like#she was basically using her child as an experiment#i demand karmic retribution#you fucked up not only ur own kid's life but also an entirely different kid's life
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