#what do you mean theyre all happy and well
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#star wars#the clone wars#tcw#star wars fanart#shaak ti#ahsoka tano#my artwork#i miss them a lot#this was rlly quick but i hope it looks ok lmao#baby ahsoka my beloved#what do you mean theyre all happy and well
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A succubus and a demon!
(The succubi don't have names but the demon is Kronos and the succubus is one of his bosses in Hell and he's not /fond/ of the succubi for many reasons but they all adore picking on him)
Also because I love them and like to point it out, the succubi act more as pleasure dealers in the sense of they offer up whatever a human wants most in exchange for their soul. It's rarely of a sexual nature since it's what they want MOST in life. And most people's ambitions are outside of a bedroom. (happy pride, asexuals are able to get affected by a succubus now without discrimination)
#my characters#did i make succubi in a plot that i could fall victim to as an asexual personally? yeah#kronos is just a petty lil baby with a younger brother who is very nice for a demon#kronos is responsible for being a dick to everyone in the plot and yet has the weirdest morals and its not fine#but hes gonna make that everyone elses problem not his#for instance he originally goes to earth bc a human has somehow just stolen all of the Devils attention and its annoying#why fixate on one human doomed to Hell just let the guy live and die then fixate#so he goes to kill the human but ends up saving the guy and then agonizes because even as a demon#its REALLY tacky to save someone and then kill them#so he doesnt kill him and instead demands to be a roommate until he returns to hell#and then they team up to kill demons and other creatures that seem obsessed with the human#and so they just kinda kill and banish demons back to hell and its fiiiine kronos is just causing problems for Hell#thats not even a new issue hes always doing that !#and then they meet a siren who refuses to talk and kronos is like oh time to be the biggest dick ever#and is like well if she wont talk and she needs a name i vote halibut#as a mean joke bc why would she want to be named after a fish#and she lights up and is SUPER happy and nods and beams and is so happy with her new name#and then the human is like well she needs more clothes than one outfit right#also shes barefoot and its cold i need to buy her shoes idk what tho#and kronos is like here buy her these rainboots and so the guy buys them and is like just wear these#until you can show me what you want bought ok and halibut is in love with her cute lil yellow rainboots#so basically everything kronos does out of spite to the weird mute siren (by choice) backfires#and she adores him and doesnt know hes trying to be mean to her#anyway the succubi collectively like to pick on the really silly and childish demons they outrank#like kronos! so he is constantly a target for them to mock which is why he isnt fond of them which fuels them more#the succubi are just really chill most of the time though ?#and its just. i love my succubi ok theyre wonderful#and that has been another story time in the tags bye
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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i feel a little bad remembering how in my mother days there was this rly common perception of thinking 'well lucas would be so pessimistic after what happened and he would hate flint cuz he sucks and he would hate everything!!' and i would believe it just cuz i was still relearning a lot of things i didnt know if that was what i was supposed to think but it always felt like people who saw things this way wanted to force others to do too
#ur on ur complete right to think well he might be depressed after all that cuz that'd be natural#or to think he would feel weird about flint#it's just that some fans would take these things to the extreme and be rly mean about it#idk if thats still a thing#im glad i dont do that now and just create my own conclussions#i mean im always making happy art of one of the most suffered girls in the world(lisa) just becsause i wanna#and my opinions on lisa stuff are all my own#also on the same topic i rly do not forgive wess's ass but i'm fine with duster doing so#not to say you need to forgive your parent because theyre your parent and shit i think someone could live perfectly without doing so#but you also have to understand people who decide to forgive them#or decide to not fully leave them. treating them at a safe distance and stuff#fully distancing from a parent is maybe one of the hardest things in the world to do#idk maybe it's because i played lisa and have seen even worse parents#wess had his funny moments but anytime hes mean to duster i go grrr grrrrrr#especially because he caused duster's limp i think#anyway all this stuff is very abstract and everyone interprets it differently depending on what is in their heart and how they handle thing#no point in forcing anyone to think like u ok goodbye#going from liking mother and antagonizing flawed parents to liking lisa and going .hmm this guy is kinda dad coded. and the guy is horrible
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.
#vent post essay ahead lol#having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad.#the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like#i mean im talking abou t me here obviously.#being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like.#it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help.#i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to#like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m#i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s#i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's#it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus#i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li#i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like#ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!!#because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know#and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like .#i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad.#my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik#my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine#makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS#it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well.#i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum#fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri#you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though#so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do#and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode#and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate.#i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day.#jane mary cry one tear
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funniest thing about even is that if ten had taken them to a pride parade, because of their whole. Everything. they would have no idea what is being celebrated or why. but they would be so happy to be included
#sorry. sorry. thinks about even getting very overwhelmed by the Everything and running off to hide.#and some people notice and follow and sit with them and distract them by drawing little flags on their cheeks#the doctor eventually finds them and theyve been chatting for a while sayinf stuff like :D yeah i wasnt allowed to pick my own clothes#before i left home but now i have so many to pick from! vague enough experiences that the other queer people around them empathize and share#their own anecdotes. they’re making friends 🥺🥺#someone is going to feed even a brownie or something with weed in it and get them high for the first time and they wont even know because#all they know is that theyre very happy and evryones being very nice to them and there’s a lot of overwhelming color and noise but the#doctor is holding their hand so they dont get lost again#even later (still high) (leaning on the doctor’s shoulder): i like it here :) we belong here. it’s nice. :)#ten: well give or take a hundred years you’re still human. of course you belong. fit right in. you’re getting facepaint on my coat.#even: no im not (<- they are) but. we belong. both of us. they like you too.#doctor: No. No. Where I belong… that’s very far away now.#Even: oh. ….can you only belong one place at a time?#Doctor: …… (<- doesn’t want to answer. assumes even is thinking of the ship they left behind.)#Even: i guess i dont belong here either. (<- is thinking about the tardis.) but it’s still nice. visiting.#doctor: it is. yeah.#(seconds pass)#even: also doctor. what does gay mean?#doctor: what do you mean what dOES GAY MEAN-#[hard cut to credits]#dw oc#(even couldnt tell anyone what labels they use btw because they dont know so the person doing the finger painting gave them the enby flag#on assumption and the lesbian flag on the other cheek because it matched their hair a little)
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me when ive ordered myself a lil smth in the mail and i have smth to look forward to
#three tragedies by renaissance women writers (1999) featuring elizabeth cary jane lumley and mary sidney#it hasnt even shipped yet but listen. im so happy#its hardcover!#when i get it im gonna kiss it. but probably not bc it's a book my own age i bet it has a lot of germs on it#tales from diana#i mean who cleans their books?#like not just wipe the dust off em but disinfects em? nobody#youll ruin them lol theyre just made of paper silly#altho this book being printed in the year i was born has me wondering what the ratio of books i have is#between books printed before i was born and books printed after#bc most of my books are used! and lord i know a lot of that means theyre older than me#but also. not all old books are from like the 1980s or before. ive honestly never known#plus i do have still a fair number of books i bought new to rule out#idk. i wonder. ill have to count sometime but. you know what. it'd probably take at least an entire day. lol#im in desperate need to just organize my books by SOMETHING (since they well overflow the shelf)#im in no shape to run that survey any time soon
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the thing thats always missing in conversations about gender in general is the fact that 'cis', as an identity, is not a innate Thing Some People Are, but rather a state of acceptance society grooms us into from birth
#im sorry but no one is inherently 'cis' bc gender is inherently not real (saying this in cool trans way not transphobe way).#being 'cis' just means you live as the gender youve been assigned. being 'genuinely' cis in a way where youre not repressing anything and#you're truly happy to be that way means you're the ideal and desired endgame of the whole gendered culture and have been successfully#groomed into accepting only half of yourself (the half that can exist in the gender role you inhabit)#Like every culture agrees that people have both 'masculine' and 'feminine' within them but on entry to the earth the vast majority of peopl#are placed within a role that rewards either 'masculine' or 'feminine' but not both. and of course everyone continues to be both but#theyve still been placed in one role.#To be honest i think we need to rid ourselves of the idea of gender as something innate even though its nice to teach to well-meaning#liberal cis people. 'born this way' dogma was a useful vehicle to pitch existence in but its unhelpful when queer people actually act like#its the whole truth and nothing but the truth.#dont get me wrong i couldnt be a girl cause i self destructed and died and that was just something within me. totally that is a thing 100%.#hashtag born this way. but just because it doesnt go that far for some people doesnt mean that theyre Innately Cis. it means they accept#their circumstance and r priviledged to be able to do so. thats what cis means#to be clear: i say being cis is the result of grooming. thats not to say that people who reject cisness are smarter or more radical#necessarily or doing the right thing. some people stay cis and push the boundaries of that role wherever possible and thats just as radical#i think in fact its more radical than trans people who ruthlessly uphold gender roles#tldr its not a moral failure to identify with ur assigned gender and to argue that would be incredibly ridiculous#but the only reason u feel identification with it at all is because of the grooming. shrug emoji.#oliver talks#gender#gender abolition#gender assignment is grooming & its violence & its awful#ted talk over#Disclaimer if anyone wants to pick a fight that i do literally identify as trans so take of that what you will
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Well glad to know I'm not the only one not feeling the Christmas season this year. Mom isnt either
Now we dont know why, but here are my guesses. Feel free to place your bets.
Is it:
Bc our aunt/great-aunt died and essentially dissolved the family
|_> Bc of this we've faced so much bullshit from the surviving family we have left.
Bc the only remaining family we have are major assholes aside from like 4 people.
Long covid?
Work stress/ working under a tyrant piece of shit.
Bc I'm an adult now so the *magic* is gone?
All of the above??
#marquilla#we still havent made cookies and are like i want the cookies but i dont want to make the cookies...#so we agreed we can do it after christmas if need be#i really think it's all of that combined. like my g-aunt dying really tore this family apart. we weren't like close close before but i mean#everyone started taking sides (the executors (my mom) vs my cousins. like listen you motherfuckers she left you [insert number bc i also#got this amount and am not disclosing]. you little freaks need to get over the fact that she loved me as much as if not more than you.#maybe bc i wasn't a fucking entitled brat and was always a polite well behaved child (for her) and didnt take my mommy/daddy issues out on#her. you already got: 2 free cars. 3 fully paid for weddings. 4 college degrees (one that you're not even using bc you havent worked since#college bc you became a tradwife. (not dissing stay at home moms im dissing her making college a BIG DEAL for her and then just#essentially saying haha thanks for the 100k in tuition but no ❤). COUNTLESS hours and money poured#into your lives from her and our g-uncle. amongst the 4 of you. (only 1 is not a brat but thats bc they pretend she doesnt exist bc shes#annoying and autistic so a drain on them they were ever so happy to dump on their dad)#you aren't entitled to any of that. that was a GIFT. your inheritance was well thought out. it is an insult for you to suggest otherwise#anyway so theyre being whiny brats and oh boo hoo you exects are SO MEAN to poor Ally who didnt sign the fucking will and thus held up#$50k FROM A CHURCH. and my uncle (not their dad. their moms brother) is taking their side. his wife is a massive piece of shit ab it too.#dont know whose side dog cousin is on bc shes close to my mom but very close to them. and i know lesbian cousin is on moms side to some#degree. and idgaf what Murderer cousin thinks bc that bitch can and will rot in hell.#so anyway any one we could possibly spend time with this season is either dead or hates us. or lives states away and won't be in til after#and only for a day anyway. and we just dont have the fucking energy to deal with anything
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bro anime fans are so an annoying with their dub vs sub shit like goddammit literally neither are gonna be 100% accurate to what it being actually verbally said onscreen just bc how translation works literally some things directly translated makes no sense. and each translator will literally come up with different ways to say the same shit. Literally does not fucking matter to the experience you actually get especially for newer anime (most of the time). And most of the time when ppl argue sub is better they end up being some fetishizing ass weeb. Just enjoy your japanese cartoons and comic books
#some anime are legit better dubbed and some are worth watching both ways bc theyre diff experiences#dont trust anyone who says ouran is better subbed trust me#(i literally watch sub 99% of time and am a manga enjoyer over watching nowadays anyway)#its just so frustrating like shut the fuck up and just learn the language if you wanna know 100% what theyre saying#dude even the latest jjk chapter... the fan translations are calling him the fallen one and the official is calling him the disgraced one#in BLEACH literally they call chad's arm somethings in spanish right#left arm giant right arm demon or smthn#well in spanish it literally says brazo izquierda del diablo#and diablo literally means the devil not a demon#but like the meaning is almost the same it doesnt even matter#got adult anime watchers on tiktok crying everytime they hear a second of dub#literally if anime never got dubbing it wouldnt be as big in the west#truuuust me brother#especially in SPANISH do you know how many currently gen x latin ppl watched anime in their home countries#how many kids in mexico are named fucking goku#got my mom crying over samurai x and ranma 1/2#shes like singing the candy candy song all happy#shes a salvadoran woman in her mid 50s bro
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I just know that Ash pulling one of these would drive S.eifer nuts in the best way possible
#ash rambles 💚#your knight until the end 🤍#this post has nothing to do with l.eon btw i just like cool gun animations#for context. my f.f8 s/i is a gunslinger! and a damn good one at that!#shes also a very goofy young adult/teenager throughout the game so theres a lot of segments of her getting really excited and just infodum#ping about her beloved guns. you see s.quall go 'you think that shes a cool and responsible honors student. shes actually just an idiot'#ash's guns are her most precious thing. she loves them both so much and built them herself and when shes not training or studying#shes usually cleaning them. s.eifer is all ??? and honestly he doesnt really get her fucking obsession (he asks once and she says that#theyre hotter than he is whatever that means)#but you know what s.eifer does know??? that a woman with a gun is attractive and that he loves seeing how well ash can handle her weapons#it feels him with this sense of pride#hes all 'fuck yeah. thats all mine.'#although. uh. he's well aware that her guns pack a punch! shout out to that one time she shot him! haha!#... they werent always friends you see-#if it makes it better. ash has a giant scar on her back from s.eifer's sword#i have a lot of s/is that fight but not all of them feel so passionately about their weapons#f.f8 ash... I'm slightly concerned about her love for her guns- whatever makes you happy ash!#although. well. shes been in Mercenary Academy since she was a literal kid. shes a little fucked up- f.inal f.antasy viii is fun i swear#anyhow#c.yberpunk ash comes close with her love for her gun! if you do her sidequest she gives it to you! a pistol she calls Ashes and Dust#carried her through many a street fight when she was still feared on the streets of night city back in the day#anyways what was the point of this post lol i started rambling#yeah! s.eifer thinks a woman that can kick his ass is super hot!#me too! i think that too!
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trein...
#i want to write beautiful romance of him falling in love again#with some angst as he still loves and cherishes his wife and awaits their meeting once again#but maybe he comes to realize that his wife would want him to be happy... and that is all he feels with you#the heavy guilt.. he doesn't want to leave her and her memory behind#and it leaves him unwilling to pursue you#eventually though... eventually trein would let his guard down#maybe at first he's done nothing but compare you to his lovely wife (not aloud) but he comes to see the two of you are different#but both wonderful in your own ways#maybe it'd just end in him staying as your close friend and confidant.. he feels as though it's wrong to even think about loving someone els#trein is such a complicated character to simp for given his wife#and the fact he is canonically still very much in love with her#would he ever be able to accept the fact he may be falling in love again?#would he be scared that he is betraying her? would he be scared that you could go dying on him too?#omg imagine if he fell in love with you but you've only got so much time left to live..#the trope of knowing the person you love is going to die.. yet still loving them anyways#makes me so weak!#or knowing that you will return to your world.. between that and his wife.. he decides to leave you be and admire from afar#up late at night talking with the moon (his wife) and asking her what he should do#is she okay with this? would she be angry once they reunited?#or maybe she sends him a message from above and lets him know it's okay to be happy even if it's not with her#he loved her once.. and still does.. but that doesn't mean she's all he ever has to have#trein should be happy even if that means it's not with her by his side#omg and imagine meeting his daughters at one point somehow and they just absolutely adore and fawn over you#they cherish you just as much as he does... and seeing you fit in so well makes him love you all the more..#theyre trying to set their father up because they want him to experience the joy of love once again#he doesn't have to live in and reminiscence on memories he can still make new ones#maybe you give trein that feeling of youth once again.. and when he first meets you it's like the first time he saw his wife and he has a --#-- crisis about it#might be going into the WIPS cause i have a million more thoughts on him#all the staff for that matter really. abt to blabber in rb's to this post later
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Types of comments I've gotten on my swedish fics after I started posting them:
I can't believe there's swedish fics in [fandom], and I liked it
I am learning swedish so it was really helpful to read something from [fandom]
I am so desperate for more of this pairing/trope that I put the entire thing through a translator
#and mind you i would marry all of the above i love them all#i sincerely NEVER expect to get even a single read hit on those fics#as theyre a different type of self indulgent than the way ships or tropes are#its a way of going nuts within my comfort zone and just not worry about the things i do when writing in english#which is a combination of the matter of fluency as well as different levels of rigidness in literary expectations#theres like 800 or something swedish fics total on ao3 which is larger than a few years ago like its a huge boost#but to put it mildly its not THE most sought out fic language#but english has definitely taken over as fandom language since many years now#and things dont get translated as much as back in the day cause ''well everyone speaks english so''#and i mean fine but i hated how my entire validity started to depend on english#it was enough that i risked losing access to basic education because i struggled learning it in school#didnt want to deal with fandom side eyeing anything non english on top of that#sdklkgsd MY POINT BEING it helps me to shake off expectations + get caught up in arbitrary numbers and let those affect my enjoyment#i dont care for clout generally but yeah writing swedish fics helps squash the beginnings of worrying that maybe i should#because no?? it literally does not matter???#im glad to bond with people and im happy when they enjoy my things#but its good to remind self regularly not to place ones self worth in the amount you have of it#IM RAMBLING WHAT ELSE IS NEW#sharan talks
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bc you have things to say doesn't always mean you needa say them let alone it also doesn't always mean it's your place to say them kwim
#some ppl rlly think they have a little too many rights to decide what's okay for someone to do at what age#like shaming people for what they do with themselves n their bodies in movies in socials in works in their Lives bc age this age that#go touch some grass come back when ur ready to accept u dont have a say on anybody else. not a minor and much less an 18+ person#like that one cancelling attempt over noah liking a video about his own body. or that one scene in wyfstw that had people going like;#':o oh my gawd how can he do this. how is cinema not 24/7 tame and extremely family-friendly always?? he is like 10!' and it's a 20yo#or like millie getting engaged because they're in love and ppl being like but but but she is 19!!!! well. she is also Not You and Not Yours#she and her fiance made a choice to marry. bitch you made a choice to talk and i wasnt complaining when u did it was i#/ like people's choices with who they fall in love with. like people's relationships that very much do Not include you#/ also very important; like shaming sex workers for whatever the fuck ur reason is im about to grab you by the ear and rip it off#NONE of that above and More is there for u to be without anyone even asking u all like Okay here's my veredict- girl No#ur freedom of speech hand it over.jpeg#this other day i saw this thing abt this married couple that met cause he was a 21yo teacher#and she was 18 and she liked him and he knew and was like wanna go out or sum and now years after theyre literally married making a family#and ppl were like sorry but that mortified me i cant be the only one thats so disturbed and girl#i know you aint shaming a happy couple rn because of age difference#people turn their heads and gape like it's illegal when they hear age difference and i think yall getting a little too comfy with judging#people for who they love. for judging what u personally dont understand. if u aint been thru it u literally just dont get it#just using someone else's ongoing relationship to victimise urself get out pls and thanku#like i Know the risk that comes thru age differences no matter how big how small but risks come from many more places than one#grooming is a Very real thing and that doesnt mean you get to stamp it on everything. dont talk about throwin or not throwin words around i#ur gonna throw that one around all the while.#guilt-tripping an older person and victimising and infantilising a young person both in a relationship they want to be in#when said people aint even /you/ dont make you hero.#then again ppl tend to twist 'younger people need to feel safe' in so many ways but thats another story#like im not gonna get into guilttripping people that want to portray real feelings wants and acts onto fictional characters that make You s#mortified you start throwing Real srs allegations that you should Not be allowed to have in your vocabulary if thats how you gon use them#u Know what im talking about#sense the level of seriousness. try and be conscious of what people go through regarding said dangers#stop pointing fingers at people that have made it so far just because they could have Not made it#n stop pretending conversations/visions about fictional characters n storylines that you
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damn are u me bc SAME (unfortunately)) and it's kinda eating me alive bc one of them has this super awesome bf that really cares about her and is putting in the effort to show it and yeah I'm happy for her bc she deserves the world but also I sometimes think about how I've always been alone and haven't even kissed yet and I'm like. am i not pretty or interesting enough for someone to put effort in?? and i feel bad about feeling envious lol but it's ok
FORREAAAALLLLL like god i love my friends i am happy for them but after having two like supremely toxic relationships its just like. well when will it be my fucking turn huh. and i FEEL u on the kiss thing bc neither have i <3 and ive definitely been pitied for it too.. YAY.
but like. ok maybe this is toxic maybe not but. i think being envious is ok? just as long as its kept in check. like you dont Ruin your friendship over the envy. is that toxic am i cancelled.
#like on one hand i am SOOOOOOOOO sick of seeing u guys be happy but also like. i keep that shit inside i dont take it out on anyone bc its#immature and childish and wrong. but my feelings are something i cant control yk? and on the other hand its like FUUUUUUUUCK YES I AM SO#HAPPY THAT U ARE HAPPY YESSSSSSSS TELL ME EVERYTHING!! and its just a very weird war for me to be waging. by myself. in my mind palace#like. my second gf wasnt great to me. my recent ex was DEFINITELY not good to me. the weird fling i had w a guy last year when i had an#identity crisis left me feeling used (if u know. well. u know.) so its like. am i just not fucking deserving ? am i not deserving of#something nice that feels like coming home? that reminds me i didnt even get to have closure on my last crush bc it was fucking spearheaded#by my fucking ex and well THEYRE still friends go fucking figure fuck you guys#like the last time i truly felt loved was back in 2019. im so serious. like. i know im loved platonically sure. thats great and i love you#guys too. but this cant sustain me. im getting lonely and im getting bitter and i dont have anyone to blame. like. not even myself. which#SUCKS. it SO SUCKS. like . i dont know. i want something real before i die. i dont have a lifespan like you guys. my condition will#literally probably kill me. and like. im gonna die not knowing true love. thats where im at. thats kinda what im reminded of seeing all my#friends this happy. because they live normal lives. i dont even feel like i Deserve love but i want it so bad#did you know my ex when we like first started dating was like what am i gonna do when you die. what would i tell the kids. like you just#fucking say that to someone you love? you make the fact that their disability will likely kill them into a problem YOU have to face?#do you see what i mean. i just want to feel wanted. without conditions#snail mail#lol i made myself cry. im so hot hot girl summer (chokes)
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alameda - franco colapinto
summary: franco and his girlfriend after the Azerbaijan grand prix (also franco and y/n being the honorary leaders of team LH)
a/n: i've been obsessed with franco for so long, i'm so happy that he's getting the recognition he deserves!! (someone give my king a 2025 seat) also yes we jump straight to baku - IM SO HAPPY!!
liked by williamsracing, francolapinto, and 34,810 others
ynusername OH MY GOD BOYF IS OFFICIALLY AN F1 DRIVER
tagged: francolapinto & maxverstappen1
williamsracing 💙💙
francolapinto Thank you baby 🥰
francolapinto Wait I didn't see all the photos
francolapinto BABY WHY THAT PHOTO
user80 new f1 driver = new wag to be obsessed with
user65 what do ya'll know about y/n???
user77 I swear if they media train y/n, my life is over
user43 WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE PHOTO WITH MAX HAHAHA
user21 Franco looks like such a baby there awww
liked by oscarpiastri, ynusername, and 281, 983 others
francolapinto I can't wait to begin this journey with Williams Racing as a Formula One driver. I've dreamt of this since I was a young boy, and I'm so grateful to everybody who has helped me along the way.
ynusername WAIT does this mean there will be more edits of you on tiktok 😏
francolapinto Does this mean there will be more edits of you 😏
user22 your honour, they match each other's freak
alex_albon Welcome to the team Franco!
liked by francolapinto
user91 such a cute caption, i can't wait to see what he does
oscarpiastri Welcome 😊
liked by francolapinto
view ynusername's story...
caption: sleeping like he just got his first f1 points 🙄 oh wait...
liked by williamsracing, alex_albon, and 327, 971 others
francolapinto Perfect weekend with the perfect company. Thank you @ williamsracing for believing in me, I'm so proud to have worked with Alex to have gotten the first double points this season. Here's to more!
tagged: ynusername
ynusername that's my boy!!
williamsracing The star has arrived ⭐
liked by francolapinto
lewishamilton Great job Franco!
ynusername omg wait till franco sees this
ynusername update: he has
ynusername further update: he started crying
ynusername further further update: he's calling his family 😭
francolapinto Thank you so much Lewis!
ynusername guys he's trying to act nonchalant...
user60 franco loves y/n so much THEYRE SO PERF
user49 saw the lewis comment and immediately knew franco would freak out
user22 The way that Franco posts more about y/n then he does about scoring points-
francolapinto How can I not when she is so beautiful??
user92 franco we need to know if y/n showed you the memes
francolapinto She has 🤭 you guys are very funny
liked by francolapinto, lewishamilton, and 412, 815 others
ynusername well I initially thought franco scoring points was the highlight of my weekend buuuuut THE lewis hamilton signed my shirt and told me that's he's excited to see me around. yeah basically lewis hamilton is my bff
francolapinto I can't even blame you
liked by ynusername
user27 HAHA y/n and franco are truly the biggest lewis fangirls
user92 y/n's first and second love (lewis first)
ynusername @/francolapinto hehe
user50 Someone look at me the way y/n looks at lewis
user98 NEW FRANCO AND Y/N PHOTO AWWW
lewishamilton It was great to meet you y/n, I'm looking forward to chatting with you in Singapore
ynusername MAMA I MADE IT
ynusername I hope franco is jealous seeing this
ynusername GUYS LEWIS HAMILTON FOLLOWS ME
view francolapinto's story...
caption: she's pretty AND she can drive
let me know if you guys liked this! requests for other drivers + fics are always open, so drop something in there if you'd like (if i haven't responded send me another!!)
#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fanfic#formula one#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#f1 2024#franco colapinto x you#francolapinto#franco colapinto smau#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto fluff#franco colapinto fanfic
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