#what happened to her was so preventable

[otmaaromanovas]

The Lost Grand Duchesses part 2: Alexandra Pavlovna

When she was born at 7:40 in the morning in 1783, the baby Grand Duchess Alexandra Pavlovna was instantly viewed as second class. Her grandmother, Catherine II ‘the Great’, wrote “I infinitely more like boys than girls”, and told her staff that she found the newborn to be very ugly. She called the baby “a very ugly creature.” This dislike of Alexandra continued into her toddler years, when Catherine continuously compared the young Alexandra to her baby sister, insisting that little Elena was much more charming and intelligent than Alexandra.

Despite this, Alexandra adored her grandmother, who wrote that the little girl would do “anything just to please me.” Alexandra and Elena were painted together as a gift to Catherine, and the two little girls lovingly hold up and caress a diamond encrusted miniature portrait of their grandmother.

By the age of four, Alexandra’s education had begun, and her intelligence in languages (being fluent in four) and writing made Catherine finally pay more attention to her, but for entirely different reasons.

As soon as the little girl turned eleven, Catherine wrote that the little girl who loved to dance, draw, and play music, was now to be “considered an adult”, and be made to marry. “It is time for the older one to get married” she concluded, not even mentioning Alexandra’s name.

A long and embarassing debacle followed, in which the child was left at the alter. Catherine admitted that the young girl, not yet a teenager, often adopted a “confused look” when having to meet with potential husbands, and did not want to speak to them.

Catherine died in 1797, temporarily putting Alexandra’s fate in limbo. She returned to her daily life as an unmarried girl, and even published anonymous articles that she had translated in French under the pseudonym ‘A’. However, in 1799, the prospect of an Austrian-Russian alliance was apparently too attractive to pass on, and the thirty-year-old Archduke Joseph of Austria, the Palatine of Hungary, travelled to Russia to meet the thirteen-year-old Alexandra.

The marriage was finalised, and Alexandra was forced to leave Russia - and her family - in order to move to Hungary with her new husband. Joseph wrote a letter to his brother in which he stated he was “convinced that with this marriage my domestic bliss is assured for the entirety of my life.”

Alexandra, on the other hand, was miserable. Countess Varvara Golovina, a lady at court and potential lover of the Tsarina Elizaveta Alexeievna, wrote in her memoirs that Alexandra was sad, and did not want to be forced to leave Russia. Her father, Pavel I, constantly said that he would “not see her again” and that she was “being sacrificed.” Despite this, Pavel could have prevented the marriage at any time. A single lock of golden hair fashioned into a flower was all that she left behind.

Although Alexandra was popular in Hungary among all classes, she was deeply depressed. Her friendly and charming personality had been replaced by a new temperament which was “always serious and sad”. Alexandra especially did not get on well with her mother in law, the Empress Maria Theresa of Hungary, who was intensely jealous of the young girl’s popularity. Maria Theresa intentionally antagonised the teenager, and sought to treat her badly.

In 1800, Alexandra fell pregnant, and was struck with health problems. Her mother-in-law ordered the hiring incompetent doctors (known to her to be incompetent) and insisted that the doctors obey her orders, rather than present their own educated solutions. Orders from Maria Theresa included cooking meals which Alexandra would not be able to eat, making her weak and frail.

In March 1801, Alexandra gave birth to a little girl, named Alexandrine of Austria. The pregnancy and labour had been incredibly difficult, and the baby sadly passed away within a few hours of birth. Alexandra, depressed at having been forcibly taken from her home and after having to endure cruel treatment by her mother-in-law, said: “Thank God that my daughter was now with the angels, without experiencing the miser that we are exposed to.”

Alexandra contracted puerperal fever. The doctors misdiagnosed her poor health after the birth several times, treating her for gastric diseases and typhoid rather than ‘childbed’ fever. She succumbed to the disease aged just seventeen years old.

Alexandra was not buried until two years after her death due to disagreements in the Catholic Austrian court over where to bury a Russian Orthodox. In 1981, thieves broke into Alexandra’s Mausoleum, looting her coffin and taking jewellery and clothing from her remains. Due to the vandalism, she was reburied with the deceased wives and children of her husband in the crypt of Buda Castle, which went against her wishes to be buried in an Orthodox Church. In 2004, she was reburied at the Üröm Mausoleum, in a small park surrounded by a moat. Inside the tomb, Orthodox icons line the walls, a reflection of Alexandra’s beloved faith, and her deep connection with Russia, which endured even after being “sacrificed”.

[haunted-xander]

Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.

Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.

And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.

And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.

So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.

I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).

And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.

I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.

[fourteentrout]

Tamlin before Calanmai: Listen. I am not going to be myself. I am going to act out of line, I'm going to seem like a completely different faerie--i will not be in control of the magic in my body. You NEED to stay away from me, or else I could seriously hurt you. No matter what my intentions may be, the magic will override them and make me act out, and you can't be there for that.

Lucien before Calanmai: stay in your room. Tamlin will literally be possessed by horny fuck magic, and if he smells you he won't be able to resist you, and it wont end well.

Feyre, after doing the exact opposite of what they told her to: how DARE you act out of line and be out of control and be unable to resist the magic that you told me you'd be unable to resist!!!!!

[cyanbeetle]

I love Wonder Woman very much and I love her potential to explore themes of truth’s different meanings and violence against women and what it means for trauma to be passed on or processed in different circumstances but unfortunately all this potential is snubbed by her support of the military vis a vis her solider boyfriend and her origins as a character designed to encourage women to join the war effort. I think if you wanted to give her story real impact and meaning this would have to be completely removed and as such I long for a universe where Etta and the Holliday Girls are an internationally touring band and Steve is their loser friend who manages the finance and Diana follows them all around as the friend who can’t hold an apartment

[winepresswrath]

steepling my fingers because in Louis' mind Lestat doesn't know Louis' favourite suit and he doesn't know that Louis knows about the embroidery. louis keeps all his love to himself when it comes to lestat and spends it so cheaply on armand.

[s-aint-elmo]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one obsessed with the Marcille Laios Falin gang. Like they are a unit.... A team.... Even if the rest of the party fell apart they would stay together.... Idk it's just really fun to see all the different groups everyone falls into across the course of dungeon meshi and I love how you can tell that the three of them are a unit even as they are separated for most of the manga.

YEAH!!!! that day in the laughing wolf when falin first stopped marcille from perma-killing her brother that was fate in motion binding them together for the rest of their lives. (/hj but also i have a vague nebulous idea for a series of drawings of the toudens + marcille thru the years starting w the laughing wolf.) i love how we know that in both laios and marcille's ideal visions for the far future they are together with falin and that by the end they make it happen. i love that they both started off being connected only by the strength of their love for falin but eventually developed their own deep closeness that cemented their trio as a balanced whole.

i don't see laimar romantically the way i do farcille but those two for sure mean as much to each other as falin does to them. i love laios's strongest impression of marcille being the moment she gave it all to bring falin back. i love marcille speaking to laios's corpse with her cheek laid on his cold breastplate. i love laios looking out for marcille's comfort and enjoyment as the baseline for the party because she's the most expressive about her feelings. i love marcille always being the first to notice when laios is being dodgy as all hell and making him spit it out.

however it shakes out those three are family 5ever and we all know the lengths they'd go to if they were ever to be separated <333

[rendnotmyheart]

Soulmate aus are so interesting in an iwtv context. Like for humans it's easy, right? They get their soulmate mark, they find their soulmate, or maybe they don't, and they live their life. For vampires though? Do vampiric soulmates even exist? How could they when the soulmate marks are relics of their human life? When the other person who has the mark will be dead before their life as a vampire has even begun? Or were they always fated to become a vampire? Did the universe take that into account? Will they have to wait some hundreds of years for their soulmate to be born? Their soulmate could be anywhere, any time. Hell, their soulmate could be the person they just drained. Who knows. Even if they were somehow able to find them, what are the chances they'd stay together for eternity? It is eternity after all. Not even the universe or fate can guarantee that.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Was thinking about your au and realized that whichever neighbour wakes up last is in for a very awkward reunion

Imagine waking up to your entire neighbourhood being in an apocalyptic scenario, and you’re the last to find out about it-

technically the last neighbor is Sally BUT Julie is the last "normal-sleeping" neighbor to wake and yeah! she sure has a hell of a time! i mean tbh it's kinda her And Barnaby? they wake up within a week of each other (the neighbors wake via Pacific Rim kaiju rules) so their breakdowns overlap <3

[symeraid-s]

Ignoring the entire shitshow around Eurovision this year, it was pretty solid for music.

Switzerland absolutely deserved to win. The Code is a bop and their performance was my favourite of the evening.

Croatia also was really good. Baby Lasagna has a really strong voice and I really liked the vibes of it overall. Also, he's apparently an Electric Callboy fan, so that's a plus in my book.

Ireland was solid. I don't think I like the song as much as other people, but their staging and the screamo parts of the song were perfection.

On the other hand, Israel got way too many points. I kind of expected it, but it still stings. Like, even if the votes were unpolitical (which is highly doubtful), the song wasn't that good. Lativa had a way better ballad.

A thing I definitely didn't expect though, was Germany being in 12th place. It feels wrong to see us on the left side of the scoreboard. Though it is also funny, because Isaak told a newspaper: "who would want to end up on place 12?" He really jinxed himself with that one.

[meaningtotellyou]

it’s really bothering me that ana didn’t even get to see the show

[sweetshire]

denethor is said to have been greatly affected by finduilas’ death, right. and i know their marriage was a political one but i like to believe that they still loved each other. not in the ‘traditional sense’ i guess but they loved each other’s spirits, their souls. the duty (as they viewed it) to protect their people & the willpower to do it, they both shared. and so i think that more precious than love, they understood each other perfectly. as no one else could, or did. i can’t stop thinking about denethor’s grief at losing her. to love someone, and to have them understand you, but to lose them so abruptly… no wonder denethor became embittered by her death. i think he became sad too. closed-off. built even more walls around him, not wanting to be seen as vulnerable by anyone. but his anger, at what (or whom), exactly? he already broke up with god when he was young. at the universe? at his fate? to have lost her so unfairly.

i came here to talk about their love & somewhere in the middle lost myself in his grief lol. never mind, bc what is grief if not love persevering????? they loved each other. i can’t. i CAN’T get over this simple truth. the love was there. it wouldn’t have been this tragic if there’s wasn’t. the love was there. and isn’t that enough (it isn’t. but it is. IT IS). the love was there. THE LOVE WAS. THERE. sobbing. truly sobbing DON’T TOUCH ME

[rxttenfish]

while aaravi remains firmly within "yeah miranda has a difficult personality and isn't very easy to get along with + has many rough edges which are slowly being worked on but still going to be an issue" after having been very much so within the camp that miranda is a Vexing Bitch upon first contact/getting to know her, she DOES go from "miranda is unpredictable and dangerous as a merfolk and large macropredator and her emotions are inscrutable and random" to "merfolk aren't very hard to understand or predict and it's very easy to stay on the safe side if you keep basic rules in mind and don't freak out the second something unexpected happens"

[ctl-yuejie]

the projected results for germany are fucking dismal

[alicent-archive]

It must have been horrifying for Aegon, Aemond, and Helaena in the years before the dance, all three of them experiencing varying levels of heightened paranoia and unrest every single day.

Viserys was sicky-looking even in ep 6, and the chance of him dying (even then) was pretty high. I can’t imagine that uncertainty breeding anything but fear and worry among everyone.

From their inception, the kids lived in this constant “flight or fight” state, not knowing if Rhaenyra would ever return to the Red Keep, not knowing if Daemon would just turn up at the gates and demand their heads, not knowing if one day Viserys would just disinherit them at the request of his ‘only child.’

Aegon getting drunk every night because the alternative would be thinking of his (very likely) visit to the executioners block; Aemond throwing himself into every lesson, every practice fight with Criston, every flight with Vhagar, because he knows that this period of peace is a farce; Helaena flinching at every touch and sound because she simply doesn’t know whether that’s a friend, or whether the beasts have finally caught up with her.

Alicent going to bed each night, knowing that in the morning, her children’s heads might decorate the walls of the Keep. That one day, she’ll go into Helaena’s rooms and find her missing; that Aegon may never return from his visits to the city; that Aemond may just take the fight to Dragonstone just to end the painful wait that Rhaenyra has (unknowingly, which makes it worse) subjected them all to.

That if her father messes up again, Viserys will send him away (again), that she’ll be alone (again) in a castle that doesn’t want her (again), without allies or friends (again).

Can you imagine living in that state for a week, let alone two decades?

[feddy-34]

idk i think there is something to culturally shaming smoking. yes people will smoke for many reasons and a huge part of that is stress relief but smoking impacts other people too. and it often impacts people who have zero choice in the matter, like my mama who had to sit through cross-country road trips inhaling endless amounts of secondhand smoke because her adult relatives refused to open the windows.

there will always be addicts and these people dont deserve to be individually treated like shit but i am 10000% for broadcasting just how disgusting and awful cigarette smoking can be. put the pictures of mouth and throat cancer all over the boxes. billboards of the blackened and shriveled alveoli of lung cancer pts. show the videos of people people with emphysema so bad they cant even finish a sentence without coughing.

hell, when i was in second grade they showed us a video of a lady whose trachea was so destroyed from her chain smoking she had a neck stoma. that's a straight up hole in your neck cut through to the airway. i was eight when i saw that and it gave me nightmares for months but that shit worked.

i really really do believe there is something to this.

[suncaptor]

I think calling Feferi going to attack Eridan like that self-defense because he assaulted Sollux IS a bit of a stretch, considering, like, Sollux VERY much did, like, agree to duel him. Understandable revenge? The most logical thing she could think of because she took his whole "side to Jack" thing seriously? Not worth being murdered as a 13 year old over? All true. But self-defense. definitely perhaps a stretch! he did not go to attack her until she was coming at him with a weapon!