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blairsanne · 2 years ago

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Writing Questions Tag Game:

Thanks for tagging me @residentdormouse ♥

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

Um, so the two favourite ideas of mine are not things I can link you to because the first one, which is a faerie story about (among other characters) the fae prince of Winter, is a story I'm writing (I guess it's on hiatus) with my irl bff and it's not finished or available to the public. I don't know how much I should share tbh, but I love all the characters and the world we've built so much.

The other is just my special daydream OC character whose story I will never actually write because it's a mashup of various fandom lores and very complicated and while fun to daydream doesn't sound fun to write. She's a priestess who gets murdered on the altar of her world's gods by her bff and they revive her to kill him (he was a priest who took the power of the gods and then proceeded to basically demolish the world around him). She does so, but is essentially left alone in her world and becomes a guardian of sorts. Her role is to link herself to one person (anchor) in every one of the worlds/dimensions/realities that the collection of souls her gods watch over reincarnate into. She can call on power from the other realities to protect them from outside threats (basically, if the gods were creator beings, there are destroyer beings who want to devour the souls/realities). She ends up being kind of a tragic character though, since she's stuck between a bunch of "lives" so to speak and beholden to different people in different worlds but never able to settle down and be done. She keeps getting revived by the gods when she dies (with all her memories, instead of reincarnating), and she struggles with grief. Why is this my favourite idea? IDK but I keep thinking about it.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?

Well one time someone on anon complained that I wrote a self-indulgent mary sue oc into my fanfic and asked "who asked for [that]". To which I replied that I did. Because, you know, I write shit for myself first. As a fun hobby. I'm in no way saying that I write anything great, and if you think my writing is cringe, like, okay, you're right? Die mad about it, I guess? Get a life? Idk. I'm just having fun playing pretend with these fictional worlds.

What is your favorite part of being a writer?

Re-reading finished things because I write the type of stories I like to read, so it's really satisfying to get to reread them later. Close second is when someone else likes what I've written, that's pretty cool. ♥

What parts could you take or leave?

The agony of the time between posting something online and that first bit of feedback on it. Now that I actually have people looking at my stuff there's a little bit of like "well I hope at least one person does end up reading and enjoying this" and like... if not then it feels like why bother posting it online? (Honestly I started posting my BWOC fic in 2013 just so my irl bff could read it. I started posting my newer fics on tumblr in 2021 just so I'd move on and finish the missing parts of the story I had been writing... which hasn't worked, in case anyone wondered haha.)

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I am constantly coming up with stories in my head. There's something about writing them down and crafting them into something I can read again later that lets me put them down, if that makes sense. Like a brain dump. I don't need to remember just how that scene went or why that was happening in this plot, because it's written down now. I can revisit it later if I like. Or never.

Second-biggest motivation is when I'm writing a fic with someone else in mind, like a request or gift, or for an event, or just something I know that one person in particular will like. In the hopes I contribute something good to their day. (Even if it's smut.)

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

I've honestly been writing since I was a child, so I wish I could tell you. XD

What I would say to someone new to writing is this: You get better at every skill by doing it. So, if you want to write, you're better off writing a ton of stories, badly at first and reworking, refining, revising, etc. than to wait until you're "good enough" to write the story you want to write. You can always write a version two or twenty-five, months or years later. Done is better than perfect, and shitty-first-drafts are better than forgotten ideas.

What is your favorite story you’ve written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you’d like and can!

Probably Homecoming, a smut-fic for Bofur in the Durin's Garage AU. Mostly because I haven't written most of my stories to completion, but also I love that fic.

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

"If anyone can do it, so can you."

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

In one of my original fiction stories, one of the characters is an emperor who is basically taking over the world bit by bit, and has zero remorse about it. He believes that nobody can love him (for good reason unrelated to his status/warring) and has decided not to love anyone or anything either. At one point, frustrated with how passive his stolen fiancee is, he orders his brother to strangle her to death in front of him and then gets mad at her when she doesn't fight back (he orders the brother to stop, it was just like... a test?). He's very aggressive and believes that everyone only looks out for themselves, etc. so he does the same. (So her passivity sort of challenges him in a way. It's complicated.) It think it's a very toxic but easy-to-fall into worldview when someone thinks that the world is cruel to them, to decide to be cruel back. That's probably the most controversial mindset of my OCs, but that's sort of the point. Obviously I think he's wrong, and eventually things happen to change him.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

She'd probably be confused why we stopped doing forum-RPing and be completely amazed that a single stranger anywhere in the world had read and enjoyed something we wrote all on our own. Honestly I think little me would think I was pretty cool and living the dream. Maybe I should remind myself that more often.

I really value the community in fandom spaces, which I think is why fanfiction is so appealing. We all get to play with the same dolls in different ways and go "ah yes, that's a cool way you played" and learn from each other and grow, and it's all around a shared love of stories. Storytelling is how humans make sense of the world, and community is what makes life feel like it has meaning to me. So this is a pretty cool place to be.

No pressure tags: @laurfilijames @i-did-not-mean-to @i-am-still-bb @silvermoon-scrolls @sotwk @middleearthpixie @sketch-and-write-lover @enchantzz @lordoftherazzles and OPEN TAG to anyone who wants to do it. :)

#tag game #writing stuff

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novena-proxy · 3 years ago

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Bnha AU Lore dump

Tiny Enthusiast au!!

@that-one-anime-writer and @christinebloodwrittings My mutuals thought you'd enjoy this!! Also @calciumcryptid

cuz you have polarmare and alot of good oc's and I just like your blog and bnha content.

Ok so this au is based around the concept of g/t. G/t is short for Giant/tiny, and is a trope that has character dynamic revolving around characters with vastly Different sizes interacting. For example, The Borrowers, The Secret World of Arietty ect.

Anyway is this au tinys exist, thier smaller than regular people, small enough to fit in a persons hand. They don't have quirks like humans and they are a separate species to humans despite looking the same as regular humans.

Anyway in this AU Present Mic (Who rocks the Manbun like nobody's buisness and has a bunch of Tatoos because I love that hc) loves tiniest alot like the man is 100% ride or die for any and all tinys very sweet and supportive. He is also very cuddly twords tinys he loves cuddles with the tinys and tickles tinys under thier chin with a fingertip to say hello and becase he thinks it's cute.

Mic is as mentioned 1000% the type of person who would never turn down the oprotunity to coo and fawn over tinys. Also he would be very cuddly holding them, tickling under thier chins with a fingertip, Caressing thier cheek with his fingertip ect. He also has 0 shame what so ever, if there is a thing he has to do or say to show affection to a tiny he will do/say it no hesitation no questions asked.

Sidenote : I think there is this assumption that out of the erasermicnight trio (Eraser + Midnight + Mic) that Midnight has the least amount of shame. But it's actually Hizashi that has -30 ammounts of shame. He will do whatever he wants no matter how embarrassing it is, he's very passionate and he's not embarrassed about his hobbies or the things he likes.

Anyway to get back on track this man loves tinys alot, he will coo and fawn over any tiny he meets he will give them love and cuddles and caress and care for them 24/7 with a smile on his face.

Also he's a mentor in this au. I know alot of people pair him with Jirou becase of thier quirks and shared love of music but I wanted to go a different route. Mic would mentor Todoroki, but with tinys instead of hero stuff. Mic educates Todoroki in the ways of cooing, fawning over and cuddling tinys. Also protecting them as they are both heros so being protective comes naturally them. Todoroki takes to it like a duck to water and they bond over how much they love tinys!!! There is some rough patches like Mic going “no Todoroki you can’t start off with explaining your traumatic past to every tiny you meet.”.

Mic would teach Todoroki things like this is how you hold the tiny,and caress thier cheek with your finger. Oh and don't loom over them that makes you look scary and threatening. Instead try laying on the ground on your stomach or crouching down it makes you look smaller.

Mic is undoubtedly king when it comes to loving tinys as a pro hero there is no one else that loves tinys as much as he does. Though Fatgum is a close 2nd he's super friendly and offers tinys food whenever he meets them. Gang Orca and Selkie also like tinys too!!

Mic has a shirt that is designated for tinys to cuddle in. He calls it the tiny shirt, he'll bundle them up in it while he's holding them. The shirt's purpose is to give tinys someplace soft, warm and darkish to hide since they don't like being out in the open as it makes them feel vulnerable and scared.He would tear his home/ua office apart looking for it. If he ever lost it.

The tiny shirt is perfect. It's warm and soft without being too stuffy or too hot. The fabric let's in a good amount of light and air. It's a shirt Eraserhead got him, I hc that Aizawa has an eye for soft comfy stuff so when mic said he was in need of something warm and breathable Aizawa got it for him. He has one shirt at home and he keeps one at UA in case he ever runs into any tinys there.

One time the UA staff came back from a meeting into the teachers lounge to see Mic going absolutely nuts and the place is a wreck. At first they think he must be under the influence of a quirk as he's not acting like himself. but Aizawa asks what's wrong and Mic wails that he can't find the tiny shirt and Aizawa is the only one who knows what that means the rest are just confused. He does find it and apologizes for wrecking the place. He also has an official line of Present Mic merch of of super soft breathable shirts like the tiny shirt perfect for cuddling tinys.

And sometimes he'll lay down with his arms out and let tinys trace his tattoos with their fingers. He finds it cute how fascinated they are by his tattoos he'll also regale them with what each one means and how he got them!!

He is the king of loving tinys. He's on speed dial for any heros that find tinys he hears about tinys he's there, he also He's also gets SUPER upset if there was a tiny around and no one told him or if a hero dealt with a tiny and didn't tell him he'd be upset and mope about it for days on end.Hizashi "loves tinys" Yamada is overprotective of tinys he will go off on anyone making them even a little bit uncomfy..

Every pro hero knows that Mic can and will throw hands and square up to anyone making tinys upset, he has a reputation among other pros for being fearless and confrontational. Newbie heroes are always shocked to meet him because he's so nice and gentle nothing like the rumors that say he's always looking for a fight

Mic's known as the voice hero officially but unofficially other pros call him the tiny hero and newbie heroes are always confused when they meet him because he's not short or small.

Also it's unusual for a daylight hero like Mic to interact with tinys alot I mean rescue heros do as they can help get tinys out of a jam shoo away wildlife that tries to eat them. Underground heros see and help them once in a blue moon. But tinys tend to avoid people and noise and daylight heros deal with both of those things.

Fun fact Among underground hero circles tinys are urban legends and myths. Some.pros claim to have seen/rescued tiny people but most don't believe in them. Aizawa didn't believe in tinys until he met Hizashi and discovered his love of tinys and Mic introduced him to his tiny friends.

Also as is well know Mic loves and is protective of tintys, There is no one Hizashi will not throw hands with when it comes to tinys.

During the Kamino incident All For One takes a tiny hostage, is holding them in one hand, rubbing thier back with his thumb not too roughly but not gently either. And Mic just bluescreens and loses it next thing you know all for one is dead. All Might is thankfull but also terrified of Mic now.

#bnha au #bnha #aizawa shouta #Yamada Hizashi #mha #Tiny Enthusiast AU #g/t #Giant/tiny #g/t fanfic #bnha g/t

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eggedsaladnotlickbait · 3 years ago

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sploon (mainly deep cut) headcanons because its nearly midnight and whats better than sleep??? sploon hyperfixation. plus thisll act as a good dumping ground for headcanons that are canon to my oc au im developing, which includes my agents n stuff

all of them are neurodivergent in some way because, as a neurodivergent person, its VERY hard to try and write a character who isnt. so uh oops

LABELS: shiver is agender and use they/he/other pronouns. they also give me afab vibes (yeah yeah i know theyre wearing a sarashi and not bandages, im mainly going off their vibes and the fact that sarashi can double as a (much safer) binding practice when compared to bandages). they just think they/he pronouns are fun to say and hear, but literally any pronouns are fine for them. their lack of gender makes them above the concept of gender itself, iconic. ill mainly refer to them using they/them pronouns for simplicity. also theyre hella bi and tbh give me vibes that theyre somewhere on the asexual spectrum

frye is enby and uses she/they pronouns. shes very ace vibes and is biromantic

big man doesnt really mind nor actively choose labels for himself. hes just vibing as his he/him self and honestly? so true of him

agents 3 and 4 are both non-binary while agent 8 is polygender (i think thats the word? correct me if im wrong. basically multi-track drifting but in gender form and not exactly genderfluid since the gender is consistently yes). also im a supporter of agent 96 propaganda because 1 the ship name is funny and 2 fun dymanics

agent 3 gives me they/she asexual-demiromantic vibes. like its just true, trust me my dad is nintendo he told me

agent 4 is giving me they/them asexual of pure chaos and energy. also gives me demiromantic vibes but like in the opposite way to agent 3 if that makes sense. theyre both two sides of a spectrum

agent 8 never understood labels and stuff. thats not even coming from the octarian army or something, he just. never vibed with it. so instead shes yes to gender and loves their partners and thats all that matters to them

OTHER THINGS:

frye is the one who taught shiver inkling when shiver defected from the octarian army, aka they knew how to curse people out first and foremost, much to their frye's enjoyment and big man's dismay

frye streams gaming content and has one of those mics that go completely silent whenever she screams or yells too close to it. their alert for someone subscribing to their streaming channel is a voice clip of her breaking her microphone's audio input while playing a horror game

deep cut live in a nice apartment together and each have their own rooms (my oc rome has a room as well but shhh this isnt about him)

big man has a lot of plants in his room that he takes very good care of :3 all the handles to stuff is also larger so his fins can hold em better!! id think hed like soft things, so hes definitely got bean bag chairs and comfy blankets to snuggle up in

frye has a bunch of space to climb around in her room, like theyve got a thick fishing net attached to their ceiling and will crawl up and use it as a hammock. shes also got a bunk bed with a desk underneath!!!

shiver's room is nice and tidy, but still has a lot of decoration and personality to it. theyve got their aesthetic down and everything!! plus id imagine theyd like scented candles, so their room always has a soft scent to it. nothing overpowering ofc, just a subtle smell that makes the room feel nice. also, they own like a billion games and keep em all in a cabinet

shiver can whistle REALLY loudly due to losing one of their fangs (their top left fang since we already cant really see it if it's there). they use this power on their float during splatfest when the whistle part of their solo comes up

ill add more later but right now im tired sleepy so gn gay people im going to bed

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secret-engima · 4 years ago

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Here's something that might come outta left field, what fics do you recommend in the FFXV fandom?

Oooooo okay hmmm. Lemme see what I have. I warn you now that most of these are either short, time-travel, or Prompto angst, but I’ll try to add a little summary to each so you can pick what interests you:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588704 “Toward Daylight We Run” by SparkleMoose (here on Tumblr as @sparklecryptid) is a time-travel fixit involving Titus, who wakes up post being killed by Nyx with a case of confusion, anger, and le self-doubt, and a Glaive OC who died during the betrayal and who is very understandably angry at them. It’s gonna be a former-enemies-to-lovers thing eventually I think, and tho there’s only two chaps so far I recommend it (I recommend several of Moose’s actually, just watch the tags if you’re not into M-rated or have trigger warnings to look out for) This one does have trigger warning tags for suicidal thoughts and PTSD, so watch out for that.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912505/chapters/68351254 “From Neath Dark Waters”, another one by SparkleMoose! This one is an FFXIV Warrior of Light reborn as a street rat in Insomnia and adopted by Clarus, again, just getting started, but very feelsy and I love it. Moose also has cool Galahdian worldbuilding stuff which is always fun.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23888788 “the Wound (A Place Where Light Enters)” Third one by SparkleMoose, featuring time-traveling Noctis and also a sort of time-traveling Warrior of Light named Azura who looks around, spots Noctis fighting someone and goes “welp time to go break someone’s face on behalf of a friend I guess” which is a great first impulse for a White Mage imho. These two are gonna be a ship and I love it.

(honestly just go poke through SparkleMoose’s stuff on Ao3 and here on Tumblr, there’s quite a few FFXV fics and there’s bound to be at least a few you like. :D Just remember to read the tags first)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26644129 “The Great Livestream Debacle” by Choke-a-bro. This is just humor/crack oneshot but it makes me laugh on days that need a pick me up. Basically, Noctis runs a tiny twitch channel playing really old RPGs without telling Ignis or Regis and ONE DAY a stray new viewer happens to realize, “huh, this guy looks like the prince” and it spiral wonderfully from there.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468421 “A Present for a Father” by illusorygardens. This is actually a little gift oneshot thing inspired by one of my AUs here on Tumblr (Clouds and Moonlit Skies) where a bunch of FFVII characters are reborn as various OCs and canon characters in FFXV. Zack is Noctis, Cloud is Prompto, Aerith is Luna, Titus is Sephiroth, and Rufus and Yuffie are reborn as Imperial Royal Twins with the world’s most terrible dad aka Emperor Aldercapt. So naturally Noctis has to prank the Emperor of Niflheim on their behalf.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26667253/chapters/65038747 “Light in the Night Sky” by mokulule. If you’ve read my Deleantur and liked it, then absolutely 1000% give this a try. It’s inspired by Deleantur verse in the sense of “Noctis goes back to the time of Somnus and Ardyn” but it’s cheerfully wandering off in a very different direction and there is WORLDBUILDING and BACKSTORY and Ardyn and Aera being ADORABLE. Seriously it’s great. Again, it’s only got a few chaps on it, but I love it already and highly recommend.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611195/chapters/67550303 “Holding Secrets Like a Crystal” by LadyHallen. An AU where Monica Elshett is a telepath and proceeds to unknowingly wreck canon in all the best ways. It’s a 5 chap short story and I love it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18114572/chapters/42823973 “First Lightning, Then Thunder” by Nervous Otaku. This is a RAVUS time-travel fixit, 87 chaps long (tho the chaps are short) and fully completed. Basically Ravus dies, the Astrals think “Free Real Estate” and proceed to dump him into the past in the body of a Coeurl. It’s angst and shenanigans and Ravus stubbornly refusing to admit that he is growing attached to these tiny child versions of people all while going through hell and high water to protect them from destiny. It’s a happy ending too!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21681499/chapters/51709084 “Victorious” by Kyirah. This one hasn’t updated in a while? But it’s got 14 stellar chapters of Noctis being gently plopped back into his child self with only vague memories of the future while the Lucii and the Astrals set about fixiting the world on his behalf. It also features adorable, slightly daemon-but-don’t-worry-he’s-fine Prompto and Dadcor. Also ghost Ardyn.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18116312/chapters/42828299 “cyan boys” by dreamtowns. 6 chap, slightly cracky time-travel, only instead of straight time-travel, Noctis and Prompto wake up in a parallel dimension where some stuff is ... different. Such as them being kids while Gladio and Ignis of that world are already adults. It’s just a nice, quirky, kinda angsty-in-places read and I really enjoyed it (despite the undertones of slash that crop up in some places but hey maybe that’s your cup of tea) but as always read the tags and decide for thineself.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15073931/chapters/34948019 “Nocturne” by nirejseki. The Taur AU that inspired Nox Taur, 11/10 do recommend (even though there are slash and femslash ships in there later on but HEY just because I skipped over those parts doesn’t mean this fic isn’t great). Features baby Noctis being adorable, some cool world-building, Regis being a Good Dad, DadCor, and just- a great fixit all around with some amazing AU take on the Astrals and the prophecy and all that stuff.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11648547/chapters/26204799 “Introductions” by doodly_squat. This is ... essentially a canon compliant look at Prompto first introducing himself to and getting to be friends with Noctis. Picks up that moment in the Brotherhood episode where he says hi on the first day of high school. It’s short, but it’s finished and it’s great, there’s some Prompto angst, and it has a sequel with even more Prompto angst! That is also finished!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869282/chapters/24144864 “Running Behind” by Asidian. An MT!Prompto AU where Prompto is raised as an MT (which are cyborgs here rather than canon’s ... whole thing) and then runs away when he learns he’s going to be decommissioned. He’s found a year-ish later by the other Chocobros on their roadtrip and they, unaware he’s a runaway MT, take him along because he clearly needs help. There’s feels and bonding and brotherly feels and also angst and drama because MT!Prompto is terrified of many things. There’s also descriptions of the aftermath of torture, which I didn’t find too bad but as always check the tags and the rating against your own comfort level. It has a happy ending tho.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11725950/chapters/26417871 “Poor Wayfaring Stranger” by lithos_saeculum. The last fic I’m gonna rec for now and just- I CANNOT rec this one enough. I love it so much. 59 chap, ongoing MT!Prompto AU where Cor finds this teenage MT unit and takes him home. There’s DadCor and Prompto learning how to People and the Chocobros getting attached and major angst at various stages because of how Prompto is treated (he has MT modifications and some people looking at you Clarus need to take a chill pill about it). It’s told entirely from Prompto’s POV which is FASCINATING and the author does a stellar job of picking out stuff that Prompto just- wouldn’t know about or understand because he’s been raised in a lab all his life.

#SE asks #anon asks #ffxv #ffxv fics #fic recs #fic rec #always read the tags people #what is fine for me might not for you #but i do rec these

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zirkkun · 4 years ago

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Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

#zircon answers #anonymous #all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like #alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol #like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing #but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out #i really wish more people were like #willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen #because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but!#theyre not bad people #they were just scared for their favorite thing #i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew #but they were all really nice after we talked things out #and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly #death mention tw//

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fluffychubbyrose · 5 years ago

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Tony Stark x Chubby Self Conscious reader.

One Shot.

Requested.

Warnings- Slight Language, Slight NSFW so slight if you blink you'll miss it, Tony Stark might be more OC than some may like, insecurities, and light bullying.

(Also I don't own any of these pictures I just made the collages.)

Tony decided today instead of staying in the tower and relaxing, maybe having a movie marathon or something that we should go shopping to get me some more clothes since I keep telling him that I only have a few outfits to wear that are comfortable when he asks why I'm wearing the same outfits again and again.

The outfits are mostly my old sweats and sweatshirts along with a couple of baggy dress shirts and dress pants that I feel comfortable lounging around the tower or going out in, because they cover me completely and hide my plushness from the prying and judging eyes of other people.

I've been wearing the same outfits on rotation for the past month or two instead of wearing the new dresses or skirts I said I loved and fit good when he bought them for me, even when they were a bit snugger and showed more skin than I'd like them to. But at the time they seemed like a great idea to get because while they were a bit snug, they were beautiful, soft, and lovely material that highlighted my figure and bust. But lately I haven't been as confident as I was when I first got those outfits and wore them around and out and about.

But now looking at myself in these dresses, skirts, and tight shirts they just show to much of me and dont look right on my body anymore, they show too many of my rolls and plushness. "You need more than a measly few outfits to wear love and you know it. If those clothes we bought didn't fit comfortably you should have just said something and we could have gotten a different style or size for you that would have been more comfortable."

He says with a sigh not budging about going shopping and seemingly pouting that I didn't tell him about the clothes not fitting comfortably until now especially since some of the ones I'm refusing to wear are his personal favorites. "I don't think they have any bigger sizes." I muttered. "Hmm what was that?" "Nothing give me a minute to get ready and we can go." I said heading to our shared bedroom to put some light makeup on, tame my hair, and change out of my sweats.

Once I'm finished I walk out and over hear Tony talking to someone so I stay behind the corner to eavesdrop. "Yeah Y/n and I are planning on going on a quick shopping spree but I'll see if she wants to go to afterwards and meet up with everyone and maybe I can talk her into getting a new bikini while we're out to wear to the beach."

"Okay we'll see you there but don't try to trick her into wearing anything she isn't comfortable with Tony." I think that was Steve he was talking to and said "we'll" see you there so is the whole team going to be there? If it's just us that could be fun but last time the "private" beach we went to was anything but. Luckily I had my one piece on and could cover up with my towel. Tony takes any opportunity and turns it into a party. "Me!?! Trick her! Never!" He said sounding appalled making me giggle and reveal my hiding spot.

Knowing very well that he's always up to something and trying to get me to do all kinds of crazy things from experiments in the lab, to getting me drunk from the expensive alcohols that he loves but I can't really stand the taste of. Knowing I was busted I walked around the corner and kissed Tony on the cheek from behind. "Oh there you are Y/n! Are you ready to go sweetheart?" He asks smirking at me with playful look for catching my eavesdropping. "Yeah I'm ready."

(Small timeskip to the shopping center.)

"Oooh I like this one!" Tony says swinging around showing me a nearly see threw black button up shirt with a plunging neckline. "Tony that's basically see threw I can't wear that!" I said embarrassed cheeks heating up at the thought of anybody seeing me in something like that. "Yes you can, if you only wear it for me!" He says with a cheeky grin. I sigh and continue look it through the rack of clothes in front of me.

Most if not all of these clothes are way to small for me. I sigh and continue down the isle looking for cute but comfy clothes that won't hug my body. Which is proving to be more and more difficult with nothing being in my size, and with Tony only picking out provocative clothing. I'm feeling more discouraged and upset by the minute deciding to give up on finding anything today I turn to tell Tony let's just go to the bathing suit store to pick out a new bathing suit for the "not a party at the beach" he managed to convince me into going to.

Until I see Tony with an armful of clothes that upon further investigation are a bunch of outfits I wanted to get but were way to small for me to wear there must be 20 something outfits in his arms while he's talking to the sales associate. "Hi, yes I need all of these 3-4 sizes bigger." He says dumping the clothes into her arms. Looking closer it looks like he got the biggest ones of each outfit which would only need to be 2-3 sizes bigger to fit me well. "I'm sorry sir but these are as big as we carry and besides these would just be a waste on someone like her if that's who their meant for. I mean no offense but they wouldn't even fit like they were made to on someone of her size." She spat sounding irritated and disgusted not apologetic by any means.

"The way they fit, or look, are up to her to decide. Not you or anyone else and say something like that again and I'll have your job by the end of the hour. So again I would like all of these 3-4 sizes bigger so they are comfortable for my girl over there." He motions to me with his head looking as pissed off as he sounds, and the way he said 'my girl' was very possessive. My eyes widen and my face heats up from embarrassment from what she said and the confrontation in general but I'm touched and happy with how he's defending me.

"And if you don't have any bigger sizes then custom tailor it to fit. If you need her measurements I'll send them to you. Here's my card and I expect to be contacted by the end of the day with all of these resized and ready for pickup." The women looks deathly pale after taking and reading the card realising she just offended Tony Stark. Knowing that his threat to her job moments ago was in fact real and emanate if she didn't comply. Seeing her so petrified makes a part of me smug knowing next time she'll think before she speaks at least.

"Yes! Right away, I'm so sorry sir they will be ready by the end of the day! You can pay for them then. I'll be right back." She squeaks out and runs off with the clothes with her head down and tail tucked between her legs hopefully feeling as embarassed and upset as am from her comments. I wrap my arms around my self with head down now that she's gone I feel tears pricking the edges of my eyes hearing her say that just proved what I've been thinking about myself is true that I'm so big that it's repulsive to be this size, hell I can't even fit into a single thing in this entire store without it being tailored to fit, that should say something.

"Hey don't listen to her sweetheart she's just jealous I'm with you and not her. Everything she said was just a spiteful lie trying to get under your skin." He says lifting my head up and wiping under my eyes where a few silent tears slipped past without me knowing. He kisses me softly and hugs me tucking me under his chin while his hands rub up and down my back. I snuggle closer with my eyes closed holding him tight. "C'mon Y/n let's go pick out that swim suit!" He says sounding excited and let's go of me grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the store and down to the next trying to get my mind off of the rude sales associate.

(Another small time skip where we just arrived at the beach.)

"Hey you guys made it!" Steve runs up in just his swim trunks, hair wet, and sand sticking to him like someone pushed him down onto the sandy shore of the beach just moments before. "Yeah we're just gonna go set up our stuff then we'll join you guys in the water." Tony replies with his arm wrapped around me. Steve smiles and nods then runs off down the beach. I'm not sure about getting into the water looking around there's a lot of strangers here all swarming the infamous Avengers wanting to get pictures with them or of them.

The beach isn't packed but it defiantly isn't as dead as it should be if just the team was here, and I don't want a rerun of what happened earlier especially now that Tony talked me into a bikini after all. Though I picked it out and hid it from his view until I changed into it. When I put it on and it actually fit really well supporting me and being snug but not tight when I wasn't expecting it to fit at all with just how small it looked, I couldn't just put it back and pick out a different one. (It's the bikini in the pic above.)

But thinking about it now I should have picked a much less revealing bikini, but I knew Tony would appreciate the colors if you know what I mean. So I put it on in the changing room and put my clothes back on over it, only taking the price tags up to the cashier so I could pay for it and said I wouldn't let him see it until we got here because I was worried I would loose my nerve and pick out another one piece bathing suit after all. Plus I knew that if I let him see me in it that we would never make it to the beach and would more than likely be banned from the store. So he's been rushing to get here and to get me out of my dress shirt and knee high shorts since I checked out at the store. "Hurry Y/n I can't wait to get into the water!" Tony yells twenty or so feet away and winks at me suggestively, dropping our things onto the sand not bothering to actually set anything up.

"Don't lie Stark you only want to see her in her new bikini! You don't really care about getting in the water!" Natasha yells back at him from a ways down the beach playing volleyball with Wanda and few other people I don't recognize against the boys. Both of them wearing their own bikinis. 'That's probably how Steve got covered in sand.' "How did you know about that?" He yelled back pouting harder than he would willingly admit, because she's seen me in my new bikini but he hasn't been aloud to. Natasha stopped playing and said something to a couple of the people I didn't recognize that were on her team and walked up with Wanda right behind her.

"Oh don't get your panties in a twist Stark she sent me and Wanda a few photos wanting some feed back before deciding which swim suit to get." She grumped at him. "But trust me you'll like what she picked out." Wanda said with a knowing smirk. My face heats up when his gaze locks with mine. "Oh I never doubted that I wouldn't like it. Now come on let's get into the water that's the whole point of going to the beach." He said pulling on my hand. "Fine but I have to take these clothes off and I'm not comfortable just stripping on the beach and you have get changed to."

I say holding my towel close to me nervous about showing so much of myself in front of everyone, especially in front of strangers. Tony not needing me to tell him twice took off to the changing rooms with his swim trunks yelling for me join him. "No way or I won't get to swim today! I'll change and be out in a few." I say while walking towards an empty room. I strip out of my clothes and look at myself in the full length mirror they had in the changing room. Feeling insecure and like this was a very bad idea all of a sudden.

Seeing all of my rolls and stretch marks in plain sight is making me feel ugly and disgusted with my self. I'm about to say hell with it all and put my clothes back on and say I'm feeling sick and that I want to go home even though Tony will know its a lie and will be worried about me, I can't handle this, I'm not ready, this is to much. That's when Tony's voice comes through the door. "Almost done in their my beautiful girl? You aren't going to keep me waiting all day are you? I could just come in there and get you if you'd prefer?" He purrs out but sounds worried.

I hurriedly wrap my towel around myself and unlock the door but I don't make a move to come out. "I'm not sure I can do this Tony. This is a bad idea I wanna go home." I'm hugging myself again degrading and upsetting thoughts are rushing through my head making me so overwhelmed that I don't notice Tony's in the changing room with me until he wraps his arms around me from behind making me jump. "Where's all of this coming from? Is it because of what that lady said earlier because she's wrong, so so wrong baby girl your beautiful in everyway!" I cringe trying not to cry knowing what he's saying is true but I can't help but let what she said and what I've been thinking lately get to me anyways.

I whimper and turn around in his arms letting him hold me again. "I'm sorry I don't know what's going on I've been more and more insecure lately for no real reason. That's why I don't wear those clothes you bought me anymore, they fit but they show to much of everything I hate and I wanted to cover up by wearing my old baggy clothes." I pull back looking up at him. Tony's silent for a moment looking at me with a thoughtful expression. "Well we'll just have to fix that now won't we?" He smiles softly grabbing my hand and leaning towards the door.

"Tony no I really don't want to go out there not like this at least." I say pulling back and looking down. "Like what? Your all covered up by your towel. I cant even see that little swim suit you bought earlier that I've been dying to see since we left the store. I love every single part of your body but if you don't want to go out there we don't have to. We can go home or stay right here in this changing room. Hell I bet if I text Capsicle he'll bring us something eat and drink then we can stay in here all day." I giggled at that imagining a confused and flustered Steve coming to the changing room bringing food and water.

"There's my girl." Tony coo's running his hands up my sides trying to tickle me. "Hey hey, No, Tony, Dont you dare!" I squeaked out jumping back hitting the wall of the changing room realizing I'm trapped my eyes widen and I'm about to yell at him again when he launches at me tickling me and I don't feel my towel falling while trying to squirm away laughing until I feel Tony's bare hands on my hips and he stops tickling me. I look up worried about the sudden stop in his "attack" and his silence until I see the desire in his eyes.

"As much as I absolutely love this." He leans close to my ear his grip tightening on my hips. "I'd love even more to see it off and on the floor." He kissed my neck once he finished. Making me gasp as heat floods my cheeks. He mumbles into my neck. "How about I show you just how beautiful you really are." Pressing his body up against mine nipping the sweet spot on my neck.

Let's just say I never got to go swimming in my new swim suit and Steve got more than just an eyeful when he came to check on us because we forgot to lock the door.

@lilacprincessofrecovery

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buttdawg · 5 years ago

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All Out 2020 Predictions

Just gonna run down the card here, because I keep forgetting what’s on this show, and it is stacked.

Side note: Looking this up on Wikipedia made me sad, because the article points out that the show was originally planned for a whole other venue before the pandemic started. I had gotten so used to every AEW show being held in Jacksonville, that I had forgotten the good old days, when they could run every show in Chicago.

Casino Battle Royale, winner gets a shot at the AEW title

I thought they gave up on this stip when they did the Casino Ladder Match at Double-or-Nothing. Here’s a dumb thought: Ditch the casino nonsense. The last two casino battle royals were kind of dumb, because they sent out five guys at a time, and then the 21st guy got to come out last by himself. The problem I had was that I had no idea who half the participants were, and sending them out in fives made it that much harder to keep track.

Anyway, this time around it’s easier to just list them by faction. We have

Eddie Kingston’s group (Eddie, Butcher, Blade, Pentagon Jr., and Rey Fenix)

Team Taz (Absolute Ricky Starks and DA MACHEEN Brian Cage, who is also the FTW World’s Heavyweight Champion of the World, Excalibur)

Gunn Club (Billy Gunn and Austin Gunn)

The Inner Circle (Jake Hager, Santana and Ortiz)

Best Friends (Chuck Taylor and Trent)

Lance Archer

Darby Allin

Wait that’s only 16 guys. You know, it’s been a long time since I learned the rules to Blackjack, but I think that’s about where you want to stand pat. If you take another card, you’re much more likely to go over 21. Anyway, I hope Warhorse ends up in this match somehow. I guess I’ll pick Eddie Kingson to win, since he’s got the most guys helping him.

No, wait, fuck all of that shit. Lance Archer wins everything. Call this Casino Battle Royale a George R. R. Martin novel, because Everybody Fucking Dies.

The Dark Order (Brodie Lee, Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Colt Cabana) vs. Scorpio Sky, Matt Cardona, Dustin Rhodes, & QT Marshall.

This is like the Dark Order vs. the Dark Order Revenge Squad, trying to make Brodie pay for beating the shit out of Cody. I saw a video package for this on Dynamite yesterday, and it was fucking stupid, because they wanted me to believe that the good guy team are “four badasses”, even though one of them is QT Marshall for crying out loud. They do this horseshit all the time, where a group of babyfaces try to gang up on the Dark Order, but it never works because the faces never bring enough guys. There’s like eight or nine dudes in the Dark Order, so unless your team has ten or eleven, you’re gonna get your asses kicked. Brodie killed Cody like he was nothing, so why am I supposed to believe Dustin has a chance in hell?

The last time Scorpio Sky was on one of these anti-DO posse teams, it was with Colt Cabana and his partners in SCU. Well, Colt ended up switching sides, and apparently Chris Daniels and Kazarian aren’t even booked, so that tells me what I need to know. Dark Order wins.

Britt Baker vs. Swole in a Tooth and Nail Match.

I don’t know if “Tooth and Nail” is an actual stipulation, or if they’re just calling it that for promotional purposes. I wish they’d spell out the rules to these things instead of just calling out the names of matches like catchphrases. Swole would look pretty dumb if she loses this, so I’m picking her to win.

Matt Hardy vs. Sammy Guevara in a “Broken Rules” Match.

Wikipedia says this is a Last Man Standing match, so maybe they should have just called it that? I mean, less than a month ago Matt claimed that he was ditching all his characters for the duration of the pandemic, and now he’s right back to chanting “Delete!” like nothing changed. I heard a lot about Matt’s cinematic universe run in Impact, but so far I’m not overly impressed with his run in AEW. He just makes a bunch of callbacks to stuff he did in WWE, Impact, and ROH like I’m supposed to know or give a shit about that time he was a douchebag. If Matt loses, he’s supposed to leave AEW, but I’m pretty sure this is a trick, and he’ll just come back as “Leviticus” and pretend to be a robot from outer space. I don’t think I care who wins.

Jurassic Express vs. The Young Bucks.

Why are these guys fighting? I feel like they already did on TV? I’m gonna pull for JE to win this one. I think the Bucks might be my favorite act in AEW, but I mostly enjoy seeing them get the shit beat out of them. Yeah, kill the Young Bucks.

Chris Jericho vs. Orange Cassidy in a Mimosa Mayhem Match.

You can win Mimosa Mayhem by pinfall, submission, or dumping your opponent into a big tank of mimosa. I guess this is a way for OC to win their feud without actually pinning Jericho twice? Alternately, the loser can get pinned, only to dump the winner in the tank to get a moral victory. I’ll go with Orange to win.

AEW Tag Team Championship: Kenny Omega/Hangman vs. FTR

Now that they finally kicked Hangman out of the Elite, and FTR has finally stopped pretending not to be heels, and now that Kenny Omega finally seems to give a shit about his tag team, I think this program could finally lead to something cool. I sort of want FTR to win, just to move the Hangman/Omega angle onto the next stage. If the tag titles are the only thing keeping that team together than we need to see what happens without them.

Also, I want FTR to defend the titles against Santana and Ortiz. Yeah, no offense to Omega and Hangman, but fuck this Elite Drama Bullshit, gimme FTR vs. PnP.

AEW Women’s Championship: Hikaru Shida vs. Thunder Rosa.

Fuck yeah, this is the real main event right here. Thunder Rosa kicks ass, and now she can show her stuff without the nonsensical soap opera booking found in the NWA women’s division. The last time I saw Thunder Rosa in NWA, Melina had inexplicably declared that she had a title match against Rosa, but when the match actually happened, Melina just rolled out of the ring and took a countout. Seeing Eddie Kingston, Ricky Starks, and Thunder Rosa has opened my eyes to a lot of problems in NWA.

Anyway, here’s the AEW storyline for Thunder Rosa: Shida wanted competition, and Thunder Rosa showed up to kick her ass and take her belt. I suspect Shida’s going to win, because Rosa’s NWA title isn’t on the line, but I’m rooting for Thunder Rosa to become the double champ.

AEW Men’s Championship: Jon Moxley vs. MJF.

I want Moxley to win, although I’m not 100% sure this isn’t MJF’s time. It feels too soon, but I didn’t think Moxley would win the title from Jericho back in February either. Also, if Moxley loses the title, it might make it easier for AEW and NJPW to open the Forbidden Door long enough for him to defend the IWGP U.S. title against KENTA. Is that worth putting the world title on MJF? Probably not, but it’s fun to think about.

I don’t understand this feud at all, because MJF has been “campaigning” for a world title shot, even though he’s the #1 contender and he’s undefeated, so I’m pretty sure he could just request the match and he’s all set. MJF has also successfully lobbied to have Moxley’s finisher banned from their match, but what if Mox uses it anyway? They’d just disqualify him and he’d retain the title, right? Or maybe the ref would just stand there and let him do it anyway, because that seems to be how AEW referees do things.

I really don’t get why MJF wanted the Paradigm Shift banned. He got hit with one like two weeks ago, and he acted like it half-crippled him, but then he revealed it didn’t hurt him that badly, so why does he care if he takes another one? MJF also seems to have this thing going on where he pretends to be this high-road-taking “pure wrestler”, who can out-finesse Moxley’s brawling style, but we’ve seen MJF just go apeshit and use hardcore tactics himself.

This is kind of an aside, but I find it funny when Jim Cornette acts surprised when people accuse him of playing a character on his podcasts. He’ll be like “No, no, you don’t understand, I really hate Vince Russo and Kenny Omega and I want them both dead for not respecting kayfabe!” The thing is, wrestlers like MJF and FTR are out here repeating a lot of Cornette’s talking points on TV, specifically to get heel heat. They praise themselves for being workhorses who stick to the fundamentals, but they’re hypocrites who use gamesmanship and trickery to get ahead. So people hear Cornette blowing a gasket about Joey Janela and they just assume he’s being some sort of cartoonish supervillain character to sell his merch, because the alternative is too absurd to contemplate. It’d be like MJF assuring people that he really does bloody people up with his diamond ring in real life, just like he does on TV.

Anyway, I’ll stick with Moxley, but if MJF wins, I’ll be more intrigued than disappointed...

#aew #aew dynamite #aew all out

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deliasbabe · 5 years ago

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Hi! I really like ur fics and I'm interested in writing some of my own, but I'm nervous cuz I want to use OC's and everyone seems to hate them. Any advice?

Thank you! I don’t know how much help I’ll actually be, but here’s some stuff I’ve learned:

- Don’t focus too much on appearance. If they are related to another character you can say they look similar, you can give their hair color or eye color as a small detail to help the audience picture them, but don’t harp on it too much. If you really want to describe them, have it be from another characters perspective!

- give them a flaw. No character is perfect and everyone has something wrong with them. Make them annoying, make them sassy, make them stubborn and nosey and usually wrong. Give them room to grow and develop throughout the story. Give them something to work towards. If you are using trauma and mental illness in yours, do some research into the behaviors that accompany them. Give them setbacks and roadblocks and every single mountain to climb. By introducing a character you automatically make their identity a subplot of the story, do as much as you can with that.

- scatter your characters backstory throughout the entire fic. If you know everything about a character in the beginning, there’s no reason to keep reading. Introduce them but keep them a little mysterious. Elliott’s backstory comes out in drifts as problems from it arise, and I’ve found it to be helpful during “filler” chapters because it gives me something to focus on and it doesn’t make the chapters SEEM like filler chapters. Not every chapter has to be this dramatic thing, not every chapter has to deal with a major plot point, sometimes you need chapters just to connect with a character, and that’s ok too.

- SPEAKING of backstories, sometimes it’s helpful to start writing before you have the entire backstory planned. I started Elliott with just the basics that she was Cordelia’s daughter and she grew up in foster care, then I added more details the more I wrote based on feedback and what made sense in the fic. It also helps you introduce the character gradually instead of dumping a bunch of hyper specific details at the beginning. You don’t know everything about someone before you even meet them, and it works the same way when developing a character. If you develop them too much before writing, you’ll back yourself into a corner. Just let the details emerge naturally.

- as far as character voice, make their distinctive feature something you are good at, something you have a seemingly endless supply of. If you are good at sarcasm, make them sarcastic as fuck. I’m good at sassy one liners and avoiding my emotions so I used those as kind of hallmarks for Elliott’s personality. You don’t want to make your characters carbon copies of you if you can help it though, because then you tend to get defensive of them and avoid situations that might cast them in a bad light. Some people tend to do better when characters are similar to them, others like to make the characters as different as humanly possible, but it is nice to have a few things in common with your character to ground yourself, even if it’s just small stuff.

I hope that helps a bit and feel free to slide into my DMs if you want to talk about writing or anything really! I’m always here to help! Good luck!

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leonajasmin-writeblr · 6 years ago

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Ten Questions Tag

I got tagged in the same game thrice so while it’s a 10 Questions tag, I have thirty to do haha. Thanks for the tag @booksandsass , @nemothepenguin and @jmichines!

Do you remember your first writing project? What was it?

I do! The first thing I wrote was a 38K novella when I was six. It was about two girls in their young teens (I think one was 13 and one was 14, I can’t remember) who always ended up going to this ice cream shop. Their teacher was their best friend and I named one character after part of my name backwards. It’s cringy, but I’m still proud to say I completed such a feat at a young age.

What do you think is the hardest part of writing?

Finding where to explain things, such as appearance, location, lore etc. I know all of it, I just find it hard to say all I need to without it being an info dump haha

If you could give your younger self some writing advice, what would it be?

STOP GOING ON DAMN HIATUSES GIRL

What kind of research do you do for your WIP?

I do a little research on physics (such as how lifts work) and injuries but most of it is how things look steampunk style since there’s a slight hint at that in my novel.

How many hours a week do you write?

It depends on how much university work I have to do (I study online), whether I’m travelling and how much energy I have. Probably 10 hours tops a week but sometimes I’ll do nothing.

How long do you wait before you begin editing your first draft?

Six weeks, unless I know I’ve made a major booboo niggling in my head. Then I’ll resolve that and leave the rest.

What are your personal ethics when it comes to writing?

I’m not 100% sure I’ve gotten this question right but my stories are quite dark, although not explicitly so. My characters go through a tonne of crap in all honesty, although for the reader, it isn’t as bad.

Do you recycle old ideas or abandon them?

Recycle. I’ve already decided to use the first line of a Fan Fiction I wrote in 2014 later on in the Mastery series.

Which character is your favourite and why?

I tend to shift my favourite character based on what book I’m writing.

In book 1 of the series, it’s Roman. He’s a bit of a mystery to the others and they’re not sure how to react to him, but he’s just a cute little idealist in a world of pessimists.

In book 2, it’s Rylan. Some of his lines are my favourite I’ve written so far.

In book 3, it’s Jonathon. His personality is one of the most animated in the series and his back and current stories are some of the most complex I’ve made. One chapter I’ve written in his POV is one of my favourites too.

What do you love most about your favourite character from your WIP?

Again, I’ll answer with the same characters.

Roman: He’s an absolute sweetheart despite being surrounded by salty assholes and continues his precious ways even when they insult him for them

Rylan: He’s private and little is revealed about him. But he’s intelligent and could easily become a much worse villain if he wanted to. Dangerous boi.

Jonathon: Kind of like Roman, he’s an optimist despite everything that’s happened to him. And boy, does he have an angsty af backstory.

What would you consider success for your current WIP?

The fact I’m still working on it nearly 10 years later

If you were stuck on a deserted island, which one of your characters would you bring with you?

I guess it’d have to be Sebastian. He’s rude quite a lot of the time but really resourceful.

What would your characters’ day jobs be in real life? And if your WIP is set on Earth, which jobs would be most fitting for them and why?

Ooooh I love this question! I do have a lot of characters to answer with though and since this is the sort of thing I love imagining, I’m doing it with a huge bunch of ‘em haha

Alex is into the arts and only joined the Protectionary Guard as he didn’t see his art career going anywhere. So if he could make do with his art, he’d do that.

Sebastian would be in some sort of detective agency. One where he’d be able to kick ass. Then he’d get sacked for inappropriate behaviour and become a Martial Arts instructor or something along those lines.

Miriam would do something in the medical profession, but something less people-based. She’d be the sort to sit in a lab all day studying concoctions.

Aiden would have a normal office job during the day (knowing his family, it’d be he’s the heir to a company) and then volunteer as a cubs/scouts leader in the evenings.

Noah would work in IT, probably programming.

Cyrus builds motorbikes to fit in with his idealisms of escape, so he’d be into a travel-related career, such as travel writing/blogging, doing affiliate marketing and writing e-books to earn an income. Maybe an e-commerce store. While he isn’t the brightest, he’s a hard-worker.

Roman is training to be a lawyer and I can see him doing that in a Earth AU as well.

Phineas would be a librarian or a teacher for older students, probably a university lecturer or something like that, for a social science or language.

Dimitri would be a business owner, one of those really dickish ones.

Luka would probably be in Dimitri’s business, grumbling about his boss every ten seconds saying how he plans to make a rival business when he has enough money.

Rylan lowkey loves fashion and textiles and so I can see him working in a dinky little sewing shop and then selling stuff on Etsy or something along those lines as a side hustle.

Meline would be a professional athlete, probably in tennis since that’s her usual sport.

Jonathon would be the sort to make documentaries out in the wilderness and would take bets on whether he’ll survive doing stuff. He always does, and yet he still has people paying him. Witty prick.

Romulus would drive lorries. They’re similar to, but less interesting, his airships.

Who of your OC’s would break first under high pressure or under psychological manipulation/torture?

It’d be between Miriam and Aiden, depending on how personal the manipulation is. More distant? Aiden. More personal? Miriam.

Would you sacrifice your favourite character if it meant getting published? (As in would you remove them from the book as a condition set by the publisher?)

(I’m doing main instead of favourite okie dokie) Alex would be a nosiree no way whereas I think it’d be easier for me to part with Phoenix and Eirik. I’d still be reluctant though.

What is your go-to scene? (For example, I tend to open my books with the weather forecast to set the atmosphere before going to the characters and actions happening at that time)

A fight with a fairly unimportant antagonist. I always start my POV chapters with a certain style. Miriam’s is questions, Alex’s is dialogue, Phoenix’s is a long drone and Eirik’s is short sentences.

What is your least favourite genre to write in and why?

Contemporary as I get pretty bored. Where’s the death and fighting?

Which author would you like to trade styles with for a single book?

Me, but a good author. If you find out who that is, tell me please.

What was the weirdest thing that inspired a scene/character/story/name/place/etc.?

Miriam’s surname is after my dog as they both have amber eyes (Arnie -> Arnette)

Which POV is your favourite to write in and how do you choose which one to use for a certain WIP?

I prefer writing in first person! If it’s character arc-based then I will use first but if it’s more plot-based I will use third.

What style of writing do you prefer? Simple language, something more poetic, or something else?

I prefer simple but tend to have a philosophical main character so it ends up being a blend once you get to know the character

What’s your pet peeve when it comes to writing - the thing that would make you insta-toss the book?

The main character is a Mary Sue/Gary Stu

What’s your favourite cliché?

If you’re talking about technique, it’ll be rule of three. If you’re talking about plot cliché’s, it’s enemies to lovers/besties.

Which of your OCs would you want to hang out with in real life? Conversely, who would you not touch with a 10-foot pole?

I’d like to hang out with Roman! I’d say we’re similar enough in personality to get along.

Lawrence can LEAVE.

What’s your favourite type of character? (I have a weird thing for anti-heroes and geniuses)

Gonna have to agree with the brackets ;)

Which story do you wish you could have written (can be a novel, movie, game, etc.)

1984 or any good alternate futures. I’m a sucker for this genre so if you have recommendations please tell me.

Which of your OCs just absolutely eludes your comprehension? Like no matter what you do, you just can’t figure them out?

Kristoph.

What are you most proud of when it comes to your writing? Can be a character, a concept/world, even your style of writing.

Being able to come up with a complex plot and keeping track of it without having to write it all down.

Which of your stories do you think would make an awesome movie?

I think Experimentation would be more popular but I’d love to see Schadenfreude as a film!

Lastly (since we all do this), name an OC and your dream casting for them.

You’re wrong, buddy chum pal. I don’t do this.

I don’t watch films or series so know literally no actors bar the really famous ones.

To be honest, my creativeness isn’t working at all so for those who I tag, I’m going to let you pick out 10 of your favourites from the questions above. And the three people I’m going to tag are: @westywrites, @ahotpeaceofshit and @thel3tterm!

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theawkwardterrier · 6 years ago

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2018 fic roundup

Buffyverse

well tell her that I miss our little talks So Hurry Up and Lose Me, Hurry Up and Find Me (Again) Here We Are, Trapped (But Is It a Trap If I'm With You?) To All Our Histories Which Haven't Yet Happened

MCU

But A Walking Shadow Out of the Frying Pan Hand in Hand, Side by Side to walk to where you are sleeping To The Neighborhood Oh, But Aren't You Already My Darling? By Those Who Show Up Stitch Together In Spirit of the Season Childhood Friends

Veronica Mars

not just about being new (it’s about a change)

1. Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?:

Still not predicting, but probably around the predictable amount? I've gotten a little longer, I think, but I'm writing fewer stories overall, and I've really fallen into a few specific fandom categories - haven't added a new one in a while.

2. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?:

Dick/OC. Dick/anyone was a surprise. I'm generally frustrated and uninterested in Dick, so taking him on as a main character - when typically he's been a side role in my fic at best - is unexpected. I was just really drawn to the prompt.

3. What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?

I'm really proud of To The Neighborhood. I like the POV, I think the character flowed well, it has a particular tone throughout, and everything is built using small details without info dumps. And I'm always a big fan of domesticity too - sweet, settled life is always a joy for me to write!

4. Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

It's weird to say at this point, but I think I've been playing around with AUs a little too much. Here We Are, Trapped (But Is It a Trap If I'm With You?) and Hand in Hand, Side by Side are really prime examples of this: they aren't just timeline changes or ways of placing the characters in similar roles in non supernatural settings, they are way, way big and entire AUs. I really like them conceptually - ya girl loves a good (or not good!) romcom - but they are really quite out of the ordinary. I guess I learned that I kinda don't care - I wrote it because I liked it, and I had fun with it!

5. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

Nah. I finished my Woman Borne sequel, which was the goal I had set at the beginning of last year, and I'm probably just going to resign my work on my too ambitious Chase/Cameron fic, so I'm good.

6. From my past year of writing, what was…

Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe:

But A Walking Shadow. I'm not afraid to say how sad I am about this. I'm really, intensely proud of this story: the writing is good, the characters are good, it's lengthy (for me), it's chapter fic, it's part of a universe I've already worked on, there's action instead of just Emotional Talking - it felt like I did everything right, and it still didn't make a difference.

Most Fun:

Hand in Hand, Side by Side probably - I like Steve/Peggy and a Virtue/Moir AU for them was a blast to write. But I actually had a lot of fun with a bunch of them!

Most Disappointing:

By Those Who Show Up is a little too liberal wonky - too much political talk, not quite enough emotional buildup. To All Our Histories Which Haven't Yet Happened is also a little exhausting and repetitive in concept and would have probably been better if there were more substance between the little stories, but I really like the title, so that helps it out.

Most Sexy:

Steve and Peggy end up in a bed and kiss there in Oh, But Aren't You Already My Darling? so ha ha ha, that is extremely sexy!

Hardest to Write:

They kinda ended up in either the "it took four days from beginning to final edit" category, or the "I'm afraid I might just be writing this for the next several years" one this time around. I took a lot of care with But A Walking Shadow, and I stopped writing Childhood Friends for a while to work on other stuff and there was a point where I couldn't make In Spirit of the Season not incredibly depressing and a piece of Peggy character assassination, but most of my Buffy fics were like this (well tell her that I miss our little talks was the exception - that's why it's listed as posted like three weeks before the rest of them).

Most Unintentionally Telling:

As I was writing In Spirit of the Season, I literally said aloud, "I think I might have something weird going on internally with motherhood."

Choice Lines:

From But A Walking Shadow:

The force of her fingers, the directness of her gaze: for a moment he fears that she is about to kiss his mouth with the desperate confidence he’d felt before he’d boarded Schmidt’s plane. But instead, she leans up and presses her lips beneath his ear. He shivers; he always does, there, and she knows that.

He just can’t think of the noise and the flames, the collapse, when his mind and heart and guts weigh so human inside him.

The anger is worn and so tired inside of him.

"I don’t want to kill you,” says the man, pushing the words out. The soldier's arm, built to last, built to kill, shakes at the thought that he will die gasping. “And I don’t want to die. And I can’t bring you to meet my family like this.” His frame trembles. His eyes are magnified, wide as the stars.

There is such future and fragility in yet.

He remembers the way she fit in two hands the first time he held her, how she sometimes trips downstairs and curls up sleepily in his lap when he comes back from a run early in the morning. He loves her so much. Finally, he hugs her. “Have a good day, sweetheart,” he says, and lets her go.

From to walk to where you are sleeping:

“Enough is enough,” she tells herself most mornings, when she wakes up gritty-eyed and already teary from dreaming. “Enough is enough,” when she wants to tell Steve about her day, when she spots hair like his from the corner of her eye, when she has another lonely cup of tea at her table, when she wants just a bit of his optimism to drive her onward. “It was two years out of more than twenty, it is time to be done with mourning, enough is enough.” And then one night she opens her eyes into the darkness of her bedroom and tells herself, “Enough.”

He is here, he is here: what fragile and disturbing joy.

She watched so many good people die - not just Steve, not just her brother, but the boys who came from her home village, and the sweet air force pilot she’d kissed on the New Year of 1940, and the lady who’d sold ice cream through the Blitz and been suffocated by an improperly constructed Anderson shelter - and perhaps she doesn’t have to turn her grief out of doors and lock herself up.

From To The Neighborhood:

For a moment, she regrets not having one of those emergency call buttons that her daughter Joan (Dr. Oglethorpe hasn’t been allowed to call her Joanie in years) recommends when she makes her monthly call from Columbus, or at least a cellular phone.

From Oh, But Aren't You Already My Darling?:

Steve rests his hands on her wrists, so gentle, and she wants to cry. “Peg,” he says quietly, “can you maybe track me down a pair of pants? I know my legs aren’t really working yet, but I’ve had enough of showing off in a hospital gown for one lifetime.”

From By Those Who Show Up:

“Hell yeah,” says Bucky. “I was over there ten years and only lost an arm. Six months of doing this with you and I’ve basically lost my life.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m thinning up top, Steve, I swear to God.”

From well tell her that I miss our little talks:

(Note to self: start organizing things on the kitchen calendar. Note to self: get a kitchen calendar.)

There's basically cartoony whistling sound, like her optimism is Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff.

She hugged a pillow against her chest. She’d sign him up for a couple of community college mailing lists; maybe sitting in the back of some dense philosophy class would remind him why college wasn’t for everyone, or at least distract him. Her luck: he’d get all nerdy enthusi-Angel and just double down on the college fun talk. She really missed him. “Anyway,” she recalled herself. “I’m thinking maybe going all in on the spick and span could have something to do with you turning the dial up to Angel on the Broodometer.”

"....You’re allowed to think that you’re worth more than him, even if he was the one with the pulse.”

From So Hurry Up and Lose Me, Hurry Up and Find Me (Again):

Also, Angel has to be worried about being ‘busted, and not just in the Dust way.

How glad she is for him, knowing what he’s been through, knowing for herself how frightening it is to dangle unsupported and exhaust yourself hoping for a loving hand.

When Willow is like this, firm steps and a commanding voice, closed eyes as she puts a hand on the last sorcerer's shoulder, it’s hard for Buffy to hold in her mind Willow shy and sweet at sixteen. But then Will nods to Buffy, and without a thought, Buffy fells the robed woman. They’ve both changed. Neither of them will ever be sixteen again.

From Here We Are, Trapped (But Is It a Trap If I'm With You?):

“No. I’m counting on you to do the right thing for everyone, even if it might happen to include you.”

From To All Our Histories Which Haven't Yet Happened:

“He was younger than I am now, and older than you would want to be.”

From Childhood Friends:

Peggy, who had spent the afternoon she received the letter holding the hand of a boy - and he had been a boy - as he screamed and screamed toward death, had delayed replying, as she had not been able to summon a response to such grievances for nearly a week.

That she had spent her childhood at this very house with her dresses in a hopeless muddle and her knees insistently grass-stained, and that Steve had recently seen her in both a wrinkled nurse’s uniform after a night shift and indifferent mourning crepe below a tear-stained face, made her only more determined to put her best foot forward in this encounter.

...and Peggy concentrated on the feeling of his hand in hers, on the heat of him through his jacket, and felt despair and grave hope.

But her husband, who remembered a similar expression on his own mother’s face when he had professed his intention to marry Amanda, upon hearing whose surname even Charles II would have replied “Whom?” pulled her toward himself once more and said only, “Let them dance.”

#the only thing i still post on livejournal #my fic reflections for the year

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liannyeong · 8 years ago

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Patience is what I need (so please wait for me)

Summary: Where she needs time, and Jaebum has to wait.

Word count: 4087

Pairing: Jaebum X OC

Warning(s): slight angst, (troubled) marriage, unexplained past/trauma

A/N: the summary sucks i know, but when has my summary been good? oh and this fic’s format is rather weird? idk LOL but it does play a part overall? do i even make sense? nevermind. anyway, a month has passed since my last post... sorry about that. but it’s okay, i think i’ll be posting up new stuff as soon as i’m done with it :D please bear with me!

1 day.

"I won't hurt you," Jaebum says gently from the other end of the couch. He doesn't invade into her personal space. "I can promise you that." He stays where he is, feet planted onto the hardwood floor, body leaned forward with his elbows resting on his thighs. His hands are clasped together, and his thumbs play around with the skin that joins the thumb and the index finger. She keeps her body plastered at the other end of the couch, body curled up into a ball. Her body language screams defensive all over, and as much as she's afraid of the man she barely knew, she appreciates that he understands.

"Don't worry about anything, alright? You can sleep in that room. I will sleep in another," Jaebum says again. He glances over his shoulder to look at her, before saying, "I won't force you into anything." She meets his eyes and Jaebum flashes a small smile.

"Good night," he greets as he stands, heading over to the room at the opposite of the master bedroom.

She stays in the living room, in the quietness of the night, wondering how she got here. She unfolds herself and rests comfortably on the couch. Her eyes fall onto the band on her left ring finger. It's undeniably beautiful, she must admit, despite the simple design. There are twists throughout the surface of the silver ring, contained in the middle. She stares at the ring, her right hand subconsciously caressing it gently as if it is a memento instead. Then, she twists it a little, before pulling it off her finger entirely. The ring rests on her palm, and she clenches her hand into a fist. She heads to her own room, which was supposed to be their's, carefully placing the ring onto the bedside table. She lays on the far-too-huge bed, before falling deep into sleep with great effort.

3 weeks.

Jaebum withdraws himself entirely from her as time goes by. He starts coming home late and leaves the house much earlier, before she even opens her eyes. She doesn't see him at all unless it's the weekends. Even so, he stays in his room the whole day, only going to the washroom and the kitchen when he needs to. They don't speak, nor look at each other at all. As much as she appreciates Jaebum's distance, for the first time, she feels uncomfortable with it.

So she knocks on his room's door one weekend evening, just to invite him for dinner. "Jaebum?" she calls out as she knocks again. There is no answer, and she wonders if she should open the door. She stays in front of the door, hand still raised and the other wrapped around the door knob. She knocks once again, yet there is no answer. So she decides to turn the door knob slowly, and very slowly, she pushes the door open. It creaks a little as it swings open. Jaebum is on his bed, lying flat on his back, limbs splayed out. She tiptoes into the room, standing by his bed, looking down onto the male. He's donned in a plain black tee with a pair of gray sweatpants. She leans over and tugs on the blanket that was bunched up at one end of the bed. She pulls it over the body of the male, tucking him into bed. The close proximity with his face makes her heart thump hard. She knew Jaebum has been chased after by many girls for his looks, but she has never expected him to be this handsome. His skin is nearly flawless, his jawline is sharp and his whole body is masculine in shape. She wonders if she's worthy enough of such perfectly sculptured being. Or perhaps Jaebum's just cursed to get her as a wife - she, who is imperfect and just can't get over the past.

She adjusts the blanket once again, before exiting the room just as quietly as she entered, unaware of the pair of sleepy eyes fluttering open to see her leave.

It's a little after midnight when Jaebum wakes up, his hair a mess as he drags his feet to the kitchen, yawning loudly. He didn't say anything when he sees her at the dining table, eyes fixed on the computer screen. She looks up a second later, and their eyes meet. Jaebum gives a small smile, and she returns the same, though she believes it looks forced. Jaebum proceeds into the kitchen, grabbing a mug and pouring it with water.

"Do you want to eat?" she asks. "I cooked for us, but you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up."

Jaebum gulps down the glass of water. He threads his messy hair back and nods.

"Okay." She gets to work immediately, heating up the dish she cooked earlier. Within minutes, the food is all ready.

"I'll eat in my room, thanks," Jaebum says as he reaches his hands out to take the plate from her hands.

"You can sit here though," she nods at the dining table. "I can clear my stuff."

"It's fine. I'd like to eat in my room." She doesn't say anything more and lets him have his way. She pulls a metal tray out from a cabinet and places the plate of food onto it. Jaebum murmurs another thanks and sets his mug on the tray, before picking it up and heading back to his room. She watches the back of the male until he disappears into his room. His door clicks shut and there's silence again. She slumps back into her seat, staring blankly at the computer screen. She sighs. She's trying her best to be his wife, but why does it feel like he's shutting her out? Her past still haunts her. She's still afraid of being close to people. She's afraid of being betrayed once again. She fears being left all alone again. Nevertheless, she feels the need to open up to Jaebum, and she has no idea why. She vowed not to open up to anyone after what happened, but Jaebum made her change her mind. Jaebum made her forget the vow she carved so deeply into her heart. But why is Jaebum coldly treating her? She sighs again.

Is she making the same mistake?

4 months.

She still tries to have dinner with Jaebum over the months. At least, Jaebum has been eating the food that she has cooked. That's a start. Jaebum still refuses to stay in the same room as her, but she's pleased that they are progressing somewhere, though little. They talk more frequently now, despite asking the same questions all the time - have you eaten?, i'll be home late so don't keep any food for me, do you want anything? I'm going to the convenience store. They still don't see each other often, until it's after work hours. But that's a good progress. Jaebum hasn't been leaving the house way earlier as he used to, and he stopped coming home very late too.

Jaebum's at the living room when she reached home, surprised at the figure of the male at such an hour. Usually, she reaches the house first, for her workplace is just two train stops away. "You're home early," she says.

"I had half the day off," is the reply. Jaebum doesn't look at her as he answers, his eyes remain fixed on the television screen that's playing an action movie that is of heavy computer graphics. She just nods despite knowing he won't see it. She pads over to the kitchen, checking for any ingredients that could be used for cooking. Her back is facing the male, who is glancing at her unnoticed. His eyes fall onto her left hand when she uses it to open a cabinet door above.

"You're not wearing your ring," Jaebum states as he stares at her left hand. She twirls around so fast, that she accidentally hits the opened door. Her left hand goes to where she was hit, but upon remembering Jaebum's statement, she retracts her hand. She watches the shift in Jaebum's gaze: from her left hand to her face. His eyes search for answers in her expression. She looks away out of guilt, biting her lower lip as she tries to think of an answer. She can feel the intensity of Jaebum's gaze. It's as if he's burning a hole onto her face. It feels like her skin is being lit up with a hot flame. It burns.

"Sorry. It's just that-" she starts.

"It's fine," Jaebum says, tone as cold as ice. "Perhaps it's better that we have no attachment to each other, right? It's better that a couple shouldn't let others know that they are taken." The television is turned off, the dramatic music of the movie cut off, and the silence fills the living room. Jaebum slams the remote control onto the glass table before him, standing up as he does. He walks off and heads to his own room. The sound of the door being slammed shut rings in the house, and echoes in her ears.

Later that night, she wakes to the sound of things being chucked around. She hears thuds in the other room, and she fears for the worst. She sits up almost immediately, eyes blown in fear. She gets out of her room and strides over to Jaebum's door. She presses her ear against the door and listens. The chucking sound doesn't stop and she swallows her spit. She knocks on the door, and it silences, and when nothing else happens, she turns the door knob. Jaebum's wardrobe doors are opened, and a luggage bag is lying flat on the floor. She stares at the luggage bag, horrified. Jaebum seems indifferent when he sees her standing at the door way, for he doesn't even bother explaining on his own initiative.

"Are you... l-leaving me?" her voice trembles as she asks. Is her past repeating itself?

Jaebum doesn't answer, his back turned on the female. He continues dumping his clothes into the luggage, grabbing more as he does so. His coldness makes her afraid. If he is leaving her forever... No. He can't. He shouldn't. She's trying her best. He can't leave her just like that. He won't hurt her. He promised!

Without a second thought, she strides over to where the male is and wraps her arms around his waist. Jaebum's arms stilled midair as he makes a grab for his clothes, and she feels his whole body stiffen. Nevertheless, she doesn't care. She can't let him go. Not yet. She's still trying her best to open herself up to him. He can't leave yet. Not now. And hopefully, not ever.

"I'm sorry! I know it's been a long time and I'm still-" she sobs into his shirt, her words muffled. "Please... Don't leave me... I know I'm taking a long time to open up... but... I'm trying..." her words become slurred as her sadness welds into her words.

"Let me go," Jaebum says, his voice gentle, but her mind starts wheeling into the negative meaning of his words instead. She shakes her head, clawing at the bottom of the back of his shirt, holding him tighter. Jaebum wraps his fingers around her upper arms, trying to push her away.

"I'm sorry for not wearing the ring! I just-"

"Let me go."

Her nails are slowly digging into his back. "I know you're mad because of that so please... I'm so sorry! Just... give me more time... please!" she pleads into his shirt.

With much effort, Jaebum finally breaks her grip. Feeling defeated, she drops her hands to her sides, head hung low, eyes spilling with tears. Jaebum's hands slide down to her forearms, his eyes can only look at the crown of the crying female. Jaebum pulls her chin up with his index finger and thumb, forcing her to look into his eyes.

"Hey, I'm not leaving you," Jaebum calmly says. His thumb caresses her chin softly, eyes gazing into hers lovingly. "But-" She takes a look at the luggage on the floor.

"I'm being outstationed at Jeju Island for a month," he answers her unspoken question. He gazes at her face, and it's the first time she's looking up at him upclose, and he's obviously looking back. The close proximity has her heart beat rapidly that she thinks it could just pop out of her heart and run a marathon on its own.

"So you're not leaving me?" she asks timidly, looking up at the male expectantly. Jaebum shakes his head with a small smile carved across his lips. "I'm really sorry for not wearing the ring," she starts again, her voice muffled into his shirt. "I just..."

"Hey, it's fine," Jaebum says calmly. "I'm sorry too. I was angry that you went out without your ring. And I was just afraid that you're trying to meet someone else instead and-" Jaebum stops himself with a sigh. "But I know it's been hard for you. Yes, I am tired of waiting. But I can't force you into anything before you're ready. I can only wait. That's the only thing I can do. It is frustrating to wait for so long, but... that's the only thing I can do."

She looks up, her chin resting against his chest. Her eyes blink at him, "Please wait for me, Jaebum. I know it's going to be hard on both of us but... please wait for me. Please don't leave me." Her eyes are teary once again.

"I'm not going anywhere. Even if I do, I'll come back home," Jaebum says as he wipes the tears in her eyes. He brushes away stray hair on her face, then proceeding to card her hair back, smiling warmly afterwards. She just gazes up at him as if in awe of his existence. She doesn't say anything but just buries her face into the soft cotton material of his shirt. Jaebum wraps his arms around her, cheek pressed against her crown, his hand lightly tapping her back.

She did not see him off for his flight, for the airport was too far from her workplace. She had offered to send him off and also fetch him when he returns, but Jaebum shook his head at the suggestion. Neither was she to fetch him from the airport when he landed back in Seoul. "It's fine, the company allocated a driver for me back and forth anyway," he said as he dragged his luggage bag to the door of their apartment. He bid goodbye and she watched him until he got into the elevator, disappearing from her sight. She sighed. She thought they were fine ever since that night, but perhaps it was a spur of the moment. Perhaps what Jaebum said isn't even true. If truly he isn't coming back, then... what will she do?

She comes back home to a familiar pair of shoes being dumped at the door step. She pads over to the living room, but Jaebum isn't there. She cranes her neck at the corridor of the apartment, trying to take a peek if Jaebum is in his room. She's proven to be wrong, for the bathroom door was pulled open and Jaebum steps out, wearing a tank top that seems to stick to his body like glue. His sweatpants hung nicely on his hips, and a towel draped over his neck. He uses one end to dry his hair, his head tilted to the side a little. As if time slowed down, she manage to capture all that happens subsequently. The way his eyes slowly flick from the floor, up to her face, and the way his hands froze and his eyes dilate at the sight of her.

It's as if time has stopped, and the air has turned heavy. She stood rooted to the floor, motionless, just staring back at the man. Jaebum's the same: he stares at her as if in awe. They stay like that for what seemed like eternity. She has the urge to run up to him and hug him tight, for she has missed him so dearly even though they barely spoke to each other. She misses how she could hear him sing from the other room, with the thin walls separating them. She misses his soothing voice as he sings R&B songs she's never heard on radio before. She misses the sound of his clicking keyboard as he works late into the night. She misses sleeping to such sounds, the ones that make her feel less lonely in the house.

"You're back," she says, breaking the silence. Just like that, the time unfroze itself and begins ticking again.

Jaebum's hands rest at his chest, both tugging at the towel around his neck. He smiles softly. "Yeah."

"You're back," she repeats, as if in disbelief that the male is right in front of her.

"Yeah," Jaebum says again. "I'm back home." He smiles again, crescents forming at his eyes, white teeth exposed. Just like that, she drops all of her belongings in the middle of the living room as she dashes towards him, crushing him into a hug. Instinctively, he raises her above the ground, his body bent backwards a little. She nuzzles her nose into the crook of his neck, inhaling the aloe vera body wash that he uses.

Jaebum puts her back on the ground, his towel dropping in the midst of it, which none of them cares at the moment. They gaze at each other for awhile, a little awkward, for they don't have any words to say. She breaks the eye contact first, her cheeks heating up over the intimacy they just shared. Her eyes goes to their feet, and finally notices the towel on the floor. She picks it up, spreads it and drapes it over his head. She doesn't pull her hands away, instead, she helps to dry Jaebum's slight damp hair. Jaebum stays still, letting the female do as she pleases.

In a swoop, Jaebum leans forward, and all she remembers is a soft press on her skin.

5 years.

She knocks on the door. But there was no answer. She calls out his name as she pushes the door open but there was no reply either. When the door is fully opened, she sees Jaebum at his desk, back turned on her. He has his headset on, and the clicking sound of the keyboard fills the whole room. She sighs as she heads over to the engrossed male. She gently places her hand onto his shoulder, but he jumped up in surprise. His headset slips off and crashes to the floor, and his eyes dilate so wide. She freezes at her spot, blinking up at the surprised male. His hand was over his chest. Upon digesting the whole situation, he lets out a sigh of relief.

"You shocked me," Jaebum says as he heaves out a deep breath.

"I called you many times, and knocked on your door, but you didn't answer."

"Sorry, I guess the music was turned on loud," Jaebum says as he picks up his headset.

"Shall we have dinner? I've cooked your favorite," she offers. Jaebum nods and she proceeds to leave, but Jaebum pulls her back.

"W-what?" she blurts, flustered.

"Please wait for me," he pouts.

In a flash, the memories of the past floods into her mind. Times have changed, and change has happened: Jaebum. Jaebum, who has waited for her for so long. Jaebum, who stood by her while waiting for her to recover from her past. Jaebum, the one she relied on the most. Jaebum, the one she fell for. Jaebum, who stayed.

"Hey, why are you tearing up?" Jaebum's voice breaks her from her reverie. His face is now colored with worry, his eyes flicking around her face for answers. She breaks into a smile and pinches his cheek, "Faster, will you? I'm hungry!" She giggles when Jaebum lets out a groan of pain, his hand resting at the pinched area. She sticks her tongue out, and it instantly turns into a cat-and-dog chase around the house.

2 people.

They're cuddled up on the picnic mat, limbs tangled with one another, staring up at the starry sky. She holds out her left hand to the sky, her palm faced towards the sky. Her silver ring gives off a little gleam, as if it belongs with the stars above. Another larger hand superimpose hers, their fingers interlocking, the pair of rings clinking a little. She shifts herself closer to the male, such that a part of her back is resting on his chest. Jaebum has his right arm out for her head to use as a pillow.

"Do you know why I chose this ring?" Jaebum breaks the silence, his voice soft and gentle, yet it brings a shiver down her spine due to the closeness of his lips to her ear. Her eyes flick at their rings that bear a pattern of twists. She shakes her head.

"It's because I want our love to be meaningful. Only the two of us, just as how these twists are made of two. Everlasting, just as how these twists are woven endlessly."

She has no words to say. She stares at their rings. Despite its simplicity, there's a deep meaning behind it. It never crossed her mind that Jaebum would carefully pick out their rings, considering how the situation was back then. She was distant and didn't want to do anything with him, but he had given a deep thought for their wedding bands.

"You have always been the one that struck out the most to me, I don't even know why," Jaebum adds. She can feel vibrations on her back as he speaks, and it brings a comforting feeling inside her chest. "It's like you're the moon and I'm the ocean. You pulled me in, without me knowing. You had some effect on me, and I just slowly, get drawn in."

"Then why did you refuse to do anything with me? Even eating dinner?"

"I distanced myself from you because I was afraid that I would cross the line. I was afraid I would make a mistake and you'd regret it all. I didn't want you to hate me," Jaebum answers truthfully. "I refused to be in the same room as you because I knew I would yearn for more afterwards. I didn't want you to send me off at the airport because I knew I wouldn't want to leave you. Seeing your face would make me want to stay. I'd drop everything and just run to you. It's childish, I know, but... even though I know my feelings well, I'm afraid of not being able to control it." Jaebum spills his heart out.

She turns her head over her shoulder to look at the male. Under the moonlight, his emotions are split open, raw and fresh for her to feel. He's looking at their intertwined fingers, his index finger and thumb fondling with her ring. He seems to be absorbed in his thoughts and emotions, for his eyebrows are furrowed together. Under the moonlight, Jaebum's shield is laid down and his entire soul is vulnerable to her.

She sits up, turning herself to face the male completely. Jaebum blinks up at her, clueless. She smiles as she caresses his cheek. "Thank you for being patient with me." Jaebum's hand goes to her wrist, his thumb rubbing circles on the skin. She leans down, their foreheads touching, nose colliding. "For waiting for me, for understanding me, for loving me all the while, thank you," she whispers. She pulls back a little, before pressing her lips to his forehead. When her lips part from his skin, Jaebum's eyes flutter open, and he's gazing at her with full of love. His eyes gleam a little with the moonlight and then he smiles in the most beautiful smile she ever saw. It's the same eye smile he always gives, but under the moonlight, it makes it dazzling. The stars in the night sky cannot even compare to how mesmerizing his smile is. She smiles back, and Jaebum pulls her back down, snuggling her tight.

And under the moonlight, she makes an unspoken promise.

Infinitum.

I love you to the moon and back, and every fiber of my body and till the end of time.

#p: jb/oc #im jaebum #im jaebum scenarios #jaebum #jaebum scenarios #got7 #got7 jaebum #got7 im jaebum #got7 jaebum scenarios #got7 im jaebum scenarios #got7 jb scenarios #got7 scenarios #c: 4k

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 8 years ago

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Ok guys so I've worked out and updated some stuff about Ada's character so I'm posting it!!

So first I, apparently, have to make something very clear about future posts about ada. Because someone(I'm not going to name who did it, just look at the reblog of Ada's head canons and facts post to see who I'm talking about and what they said) decided to take said outdated head canon and fact post about ada completely serious instead of for fun like I originally posted it for, and decided to take three fucking hours to do nothing but bash and hate on Ada's character then saying it was "advice", I'm going to say this very important fact: THIS IS MY AU THAT I CAME UP WITH THREE YEARS AGO. AND ON TOP OF THAT THIS IS MY GODDAMN FANFICTION THAT I AM WRITING MYSELF AND PUTTING A LOT OF HARD WORK AND EFFORT INTO. SO I CAN HAVE WHATEVER SHIPS IN THIS FANFICTION I WANT EVEN IF THEY ARENT CANON AND I CAN HAVE 2PS IN IT IF I WANT BECAUSE IT IS MY AU. SO DO NOT REBLOG AND RANT AND HATE ON ME OR MY OCS AND CALL THEM SHIT JUST BECAUSE I HAVE MY SHIPS AND 2PS IN IT. THANK YOU. ok....now that THAT mini rant is out of the way! I'm going to explain this little bit now so things make more sense in the future about this au! In this au fanfiction. I started 2ps and 1ps exist in the same universe, just on opposite sides of their countries. This is because in this au the 2ps represent all the dark, twisted, bad, etc. Of the country they represent. They exist in the same universe to balance out their 1ps,especially with their bosses. Ok! So. Here's the updates to Ada's character which are actually pretty important to her story(but I'm not finished so this isn't a complete list or bio or anything like that but I thought you guys might want to SSE the updates and changes) So her name is Ada Bondevik( I really don't care if people don't like that as her last name, I like it and I'm using it as Norway's last name as well.) She is the daughter of 2p! Norway and a human( being his daughter she's born with the capacity to use magic) She was born as the representation of Osla, the capital of Norway. Her mother died when she was three after a magic accident from her father. Her father asked 2p Denmark to help him raise her and reluctantly he agreed as long as she doesn't become too big of a bother to his work. When she was five she was kidnapped by some childnappers who, after traveling all the way to Denmark realize she wasn't the kid they were suppose to take, and dumped her in a danish city( I'm thinking maybe the capital) This happens during the winter just so you all know While being kidnapped one of the men hit her upside the head to keep her quiet, and this results in her memory loss There's something clearly....different and off about her that no human can bluntly place. Maybe its her pale blonde hair that curls at the bottom and seems to spike out across her forehead in bangs. Maybe its her bright violet blue eyes, maybe its the fact she always seems so cheerful she's hiding something. No human can place it but just looking at her they can tell she's different somehow. She lived in that city for a month, having been taken to an orphanage. Immediately the other kids notice that oddness about ada and outcast her, bullying her and beating on her because she can't defend herself. She runs away from the orphanage only to be brought to another, and the cycles repeats Eventually after a month she's learned to stay away from orphanages. She's dirty and bruised and wearing all ripped up clothes and shoes that would fall apart if she ran in them again. She looks so homeless and dirty that most humans ignore her and pass by her, leaving her to steal to survive On the day Denmark finds ada snowfall has started. Ada had successfully stolen some bread when a group of kids from the first orphanage find her. She runs, losing her shoes on the way, and in her panic to escape she ends up running into a alley, where they corner and attack her. Denmark hears the commotion and, old country or not, is not going to walk past like the humans around him when he sees a bunch of older children beating up a much smaller and younger girl. He scares them off before kneeling down to her. He asks her if she wants him to take her to the nearest orphanage and she breaks down crying and blubbering out really hoarse pained Norwegian before crying in broken danish that she doesn't want to go back to the bad place with all the bad words and pain, begging denmark not to take her, that she'll do anything to not go back At this point when she looks up at the Dane he can immediately tell she's too different to be human, and her resemblance to norway is too close, too similar to be chance. He's been around a long enough time to realize a possible new nation, or someone who clearly represents something in norway. So he gives her a smile and asks if she would like to join his family for dinner instead At the dinner all the other Nordics can tell she's not a normal human, and when she says she can't remember who her parents are, and how she wishes she had a nice family like the Nordics denmark blurts out that he and norway will be her parents Norway goes to protest but he looks at her and then make eye contact for the first time And it hits norway like a ton of bricks all at once, and immediately he realises that she represents his capital. And so he can't refuses, it would be like rejecting a part of himself, so he smiles a little at her and tells her that of course they'll be her parents It takes weeks of arguments between her and denmark when she asks--no demands to be trained how to fight, to be given viking training. After weeks norway finally cuts in " she deserves to know how to defend herself den, we won't always be here to protect her" and denmark gives in They both teach her how to speak danish and Norwegian Iceland decides to teach her Icelandic so that they can talk between themselves without den and nor understanding She calls iceland big brother instead of uncle ( like she would've since as Norway's little brother iceland is technically her uncle) because he played role of her big brother figure throughout her childhood When she's around ten norway notices her potential for magic, and happily agrees to teach her magic She can see magical creatures but she's terrified of nor rejecting her so she only tells iceland Norway gives her one of his hairpins as a way to reassure her he cares for her and won't cast her out like the humans had The cross necklace around her neck was a present from her birth father that he told her meant he was always with her, and told her to never take it off. So by habit she always wears it under her shirt. Even with memory lose the linger scent on the cross always comforts and relaxes her and she never takes it off. And that's all I've updated so far! Sorry its so long! I don't mind hearing what you guys think as long as it isn't just oc bashing. Also!! Before I forget I still need angst head canons for ada and the anko family But I'm tagging @askthenordickfamily and @2pswedens-googlehistory in this to ask if they can help me with the angst head canons because they're much better writers than me! And thanks for reading all this and I hope you like it!

#hetalia #oc #updated oc #i finished updating a big chunk of her character!!#nordics #denmark #norway #iceland #anko family

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hellotvv · 8 years ago

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Life continues to be fairly interesting haha. I had a pretty decent weekend overall. I believe on Friday, I went to the fair with my friend Brent, Elizabeth, Kristy, and Jessica. The fair in SB was honestly not bad! I had fun going on rides with my friends, eating fair food, and just walking/chatting. Later that night, we had game night at my friend’s Brents place. Julian put on the project some really fun party game that everyone could just connect and play using the phone! Was really fun and I plan on buying it, so when ppl come to my place, we have idk fun games to play instead of just watching youtube on my chromecast LOL. I think Bryan, Olivia, Elizabeth, Brent, Julian, Kristy, Jessica, and me all played and had a great night. On Saturday, it was a bit more simple. I had a really busy day on Saturday, since I had to get some studying done for my midterm on Monday for minority literature class. I knew my cousin was visiting UCSB this weekend, since she said she was. But I’m surprised she didn’t hit me up to show her around. It would have been actually inconvenient if she did :( since ideally I would have the whole day to show her a ton of stuff. But I had a music appreciation concert at 7 PM that I had to go to at night, and I had to study quite a bit. Surprisingly, she did not hit me up at all, and only ended up snapping me that she was at SB later that night haha. She was in one of the freshmen dorms, so I’m guessing she already had a friend that let her stay in her dorm and showed her around :O. I was a bit worried that if I didn’t show her all the cool stuff about SB, my cousin wouldn’t be too interested in attending and choose UC Merced in the end... ;-;!! Anyways, ended up going to concert that night, was super boring, left during intermission since didn’t have to stay till end just needed to stay long enough to write a paper on it. Then I went to library and studied with Kristy and Jessica until like 1 AM. Went home, knocked out, and idk. Sunday, I think I got lunch with Brent and Elizabeth, then I somehow procrastinated the day away, but pulled a strong all nighter to finish studying for my minority lit class lol. The midterm went okie not bad, and then I studied for my music appreciation class quiz that was at 12 PM today. Think I did pretty good on that, and passed out for a while. Got dinner with Brent, and talked to him. We talked about how it’s already week 5 of our last quarter of our 3rd year... Graduation is coming up and much scary ;-;... I asked him what he’s gonna do after grad, and he immediately answered about Elizabeth. Since Elizabeth lives in Washington, but attends UCSB, and I wonder what she’ll do after graduation. Like would she move to California or find work back in Washington, who knows :O Brent said he doesn’t know what she’ll do, but he does suggest that she’ll prob move to LA, since LA is way cooler than Washington haha. Anyways, I did ask him oh man what if we all drift apart after graduation. Since Bryan lives in Thousand Oaks and is kinda far, Rickie lives in Washington, and etc. Brent said it kinda sucks, but it’ll happen. He did say that we’ll still hang out, since he can always drive down to OC and it’s only like 45 mins. I also said that I could always go up to LA and hang too. Thankfully Kristy and Jessica will be nearby, and Henry lives near Brent. So it’s not like we’ll all drift apart. Just kinda will be diff not being able to hang out with the friends I hang out every week with anymore, but I guess that’s life yo. I’ve gone through it from going from HS to College, and I’m sure the friendships will stay strong. It’ll be those friendships where even tho you don’t see each other every day or maybe even text that often, when you do hangout it’s like no time has passed :) Idk life yo.

Onto another topic, my cousin revealed to me that she actually SIRed to UCSB today!!! Woo, I told her we needed to have a celebration dinner or something together. She told me that she needed a bunch of life advice haha for college. I remember being in the same position worrying the same things like if I’ll make friends, what classes to take, and etc. She was super thankful and kept telling me how much she loved me, when I offered her advice LOL. I just want her to be successful and learn from my mistakes and become a doctor for me, incase I don’t make it LOL! So maybe this weekend if time permits, I’ll meet up with her and talk :D But I’m glad she idk got convinced, will prob have to ask her how did she get convinced lolol. I have a 66.6666% success rate now 2/3!! For the rest of my week, it’ll pretty much just be a bunch of studying for my midterm on Friday. Afterwards, I’ll be going home for the weekend for my mom’s bday and possibly to shoot with Sabrina and Cindy!! Woo :D haven’t seen/shot with either of them in a long time~ They both hit me up to shoot, so I feel special ;-; and wanted!

Overall, life is going okie can’t complain. Tried to eat slightly more now and work out too, so I build some more muscle. Uhm, I’ve kinda been in a pretty content mood nowadays. Like I’m back to a phase where I’m happy with what I have, not too stressed, have some stuff to look forward to to keep me going, and yeah.

The idea of relationships and love is something that I contemplate about a lot. I obviously always liked the idea of a SO, and I think that actually this year/4th year would probably be the last best times for a while to date a girl. Since I’ll still be in school and don’t look poorly in the dating scene, if I don’t have a job or idk. I’ll still be supported by my parents, but old enough to do cool things/go on adventures like going to Vegas this summer. I have a nice place and live alone, since I still attend school in SB, and not crazy busy, but have enough free time to spend with a SO. But the problem is, I haven’t really met anyone that really caught my interest... I mean kinda Amandi for a bit, but after finding out about what type of person she is, obv not gonna interact with her too much lmao. Maybe this sounds cocky or whatever, but I COULD date Chloe, if I truly wanted to. I mean Chloe is a decent looking girl, she’s fairly nice, and I could see myself in an okay relationship with her. But the problem is, I like her mostly as a friend, and just not that into her... Like I’m not that physically attracted to her, not that she’s bad looking or anything, and I’m not that idk mentally attracted to her. We just don’t have that much in common, and she prob only likes me for my looks?? Who knows. The thing is, I suppose a lot of ppl my age are kinda dating for fun or maybe some are serious. So it’s not like I have to date someone with the intention of long term commitment, I could just date and have fun with her for a while. Who knows, she might be wanting just the same thing. But the problem is, idk it’s just not me tho. Like let’s say we do date and have fun together spending time together, but what if I meet some cooler girl that I’m more attracted to while I’m dating her. Like I suppose the right answer is to idk keep it professional and stay with Chloe or the other option is to dump Chloe and date the new girl. But idk then I could be potentially hurting her if I did that and I wouldn’t want that. I’d be kinda leading her on, and it’s something I don’t want to do to ppl. Like idk I feel like if I date someone that I’m not totally into, it’s a disservice to them and myself, since they deserve better tbh. I think everyone deserves someone who truly cares about them and wants them, isn’t settling, or etc etc etc. So I don’t wanna date someone if I’m not completely into them, since they deserve someone who truly do and someone who thinks they’re amazing. I would want the same for myself. So I guess that’s a small dilemma that I have. I like the idea of dating someone, now’s probably one of the best possible times to do so, and I could. But I like being serious about someone, I don’t wanna hurt anyone by dating them if I’m not really into them, and I obv want to date someone that I am really into and would be proud of showing them off. So yeah, small dilemma, I guess the right choice is to not lead Chloe on too much, and prob not pursue anything with her. I suppose all I can and should be doing is continue to be chill and content/happy hanging out with my cool friends, keep myself busy with school/hobbies, and eventually I’ll meet someone who I’m truly into and they’ll hopefully be into me too? :O

That’s it for now... Back to writing my music appreciation paper, and The Flash episode tomorrow is gonna be lit af...

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