#what if i went absolutely feral

[mvndrvke]

ACT TWO FINALE, LOVE NEVER DIES

personals and non-mutuals, please don't interact with this post. mutuals who wanna use this, go for it. trigger warnings : death, abuse, guns

this is going to be part of a much larger post rewriting love never dies, but for now, this is lyrically what i'm changing in act ii, starting after christine's performance. rather than going to the pier with gustave, the final conflict happens backstage. meg confronts her mother about helping the phantom once again trick christine and bringing her back into the life she'd tried so hard to leave behind.

at this point in the musical, meg is fueled by unholy rage against everyone, but especially her mother and the phantom, for dragging christine into everything. she just wants to see her friend finally happy and content like she's been in her life in england.

meg, madame giry, gustave, and raoul are all backstage; the phantom and christine enter mid-argument. i've tried to block things out under the cut; this will probably end up changing around idk.

[[ MEG stands backstage with a gun pointed at MADAME GIRY. RAOUL stands to the side, keeping GUSTAVE shielded behind him. ]]

[ MADAME GIRY ] all these years i've been mother to you and christine! my ignorant daughter.

[ MEG ] enough!

[ MADAME GIRY ] do you think i don't know how it hurts to see one's child far too off?

[[ CHRISTINE and THE PHANTOM enter. MEG points the gun at THE PHANTOM ]]

[ MEG ] not another step!

[[ THE PHANTOM blocks CHRISTINE with his body ]]

[ THE PHANTOM ] give me the gun, meg.

[ MADAME GIRY ] give me the chance to see you clear at last.

[[ MEG points the gun at MADAME GIRY again ]]

[ MEG ] not another word!

now that i've got your attention at last here's the big finish, and then you can go!

diamonds never sparkle bright if they aren't set just right. beauty sometimes goes unseen. we can't all be like christine.

[ THE PHANTOM ] christine...

[ RAOUL ] christine...

[ MEG ] christine, christine. always christine.

[[ MEG points the gun at THE PHANTOM ]]

[ MEG ] who kept singing, desperate for your favor?

[[ MEG points the gun at MADAME GIRY ]]

[ MEG ] who kept dancing, hoping you would save her?

[[ MEG points the gun at RAOUL ]]

[ MEG ] who kept dying, and this is what you gave her?

[[ music shifts to "past the point of no return" as meg lowers the gun ]]

[ MEG ] past the point of no return. the final threshold.

[ CHRISTINE, softly ] give me the gun, meg. give me the hurt and the pain and the gun, meg.

[ MEG ] the bridge is crossed

[ RAOUL ] give me the blame for not seeing the things that you've done, meg.

[[ MEG points the gun at MADAME GIRY again ]]

[ MEG ] so stand and watch it burn. we've passed the point of no return.

[ CHRISTINE ] give me the gun, meg.

[[ MEG slowly lowers the gun. the music shifts again to the beginning notes of "angel of music" as CHRISTINE takes another step closer to MEG ]]

[ CHRISTINE ] i'm with you even now.

[ MEG ] my hands are cold.

[[ CHRISTINE takes another few steps towards MEG ]]

[ CHRISTINE ] give me the gun, meg.

[ MEG, softly ] it frightens me.

[ CHRISTINE ] don't be frightened.

[recycledraccoon]

I think my thoughts on the penultimate episode can be summoned up as disappointment over a potential we didn't get to see, and why that's ok. (This got long, 1.4k oops lol)

Am I a fan of The Rat Grinders? ABSOLUTELY. I think I started liking them even more when they were full-on confirmed villains. As fan's of the edited show, watching with a week between each episode to theorize and think, I loved seeing and theorizing over these 6 fucked up kids. We know Kipperlily prior to the second half of sophomore year, while she obviously still had her anger and jealousy over TBK's it wasn't ENTIRELY unjustified and completely out of control (although some aspects were utterly and absolutely unfounded and ridiculous). Jawbones file mentions her language being "I think Aguefort likes them more", "The school takes it easy on them", and "Half of them don't even go to classes." All of these are true things people in this world would notice. It's not until AFTER their Mountain of Chaos chaperoned trip, at the end of the year, that KLCK switches to "I hate them." The Bad Kids further briefly discuss if Jace would have asked Jawbone/looked for "students with rage disorders." I think specifically mention it being a disorder is important. Acknowledging its there, KLCK WAS trying to get help for an issue she had. They didn't talk to Jawbone about it, but did decide Jace must have given he went on that quest with TRG's. They further briefly talk about students getting randomly mad, and yes they specifically joked about Fabian shitting in class, but WE also remember the Soil club student getting so mad after having gotten that tainted soil. With the 30 Riz rolled, Jawbone's file ALSO specifically talks about Kipperlily loving her adventuring party. We know things weren't perfect, its obvious from when talking about their name change, but its still there and canon. Kipperlily loved her adventuring party. This is all just Kipperlily, mostly with our information from the first part of ep.16. It is not touching on the rest of the members, especially Ruben and his dreamscape we saw, or of his distinct 180 musical tastes POST Sophomore Year Spring Break. The implications of something happening to them during that time is pretty evident and acknowledged. So we're fans, watching a show, spending so much time thinking about not only our infamous protagonists, but also our villains. Many of us adults, getting older, thinking on the tragedy befalling kids and feeling empathy. So yeah. It's a disappointment over an unseen potential. Specifically tho? Its the potential we could have gotten on The Rat Grinder's thoughts and motivations that could have been revealed through dialogue. Dialogue that we got very little of in what could be considered a significant exchange of dialogue and not bits. I always have high narrative expectations from this show, due to its long standing history of SETTING those standards each and every season. This one episode just fell short emotionally while watching, comparatively.

AND THAT'S OK AND ABSOLUTELY NOT THE BAD KIDS/INTREPID HEROES FAULT

On the narrative side of things, The Bad Kids have had an incredibly stressful past 3 years. From day one, they have been involved in life or death stakes situations. It's always been do or die, and they've died, sometimes more than once. They've lost people and faced traumas that go often unaddressed. TBK's ENTIRE highschool experiences have been a revolving door of violence and unhinged situations. They've also always kinda been assholes, insular and more than a little mean especially to those pegged as enemies. We know them, know they have good hearts and intentions, and love and side with them constantly throughout because The Bad Kid's are our heroes. They are still teenage assholes sometimes, but that is something we love and forgive them for. The thing about this recent battle is that they are very used to the situation they are in by now. TBK's have to prioritize, move fast and hard, and get a job done so countless people don't die while something evil rises in their world. Emotions have been high for them all season, rage especially which is absolutely unsurprising on multiple fronts, and it's absolutely showing in what few dialogue exchanges we have. The Bad Kid's entered that gym for the singular purpose of stopping the situation, saving lives, and making sure something evil didn't arise to power in their fucked up world. Nothing new. They hid, already knowing where the final confrontation was going to be FORCED to happen in due to the nature of the ritual, and prepped. On point and smart of them. Then they entered the battlefield, very quickly getting to business. They know their skills, their friends and how to work together as a devastatingly effective team making heavy hits and masterfully controlling a battlefield despite the chaos. This is what The Bad Kid's Do. They got Ivy and Oisin out of combat as fast as possible, Oisin didn't even get a turn. They took out a high-damage long range attacker and the enemy wizard. They know how powerful and important Adaine is on the field, and they knew Oisin would have been the same. They crippled the enemy with the slow spell, effectively taking Mary Ann out of the running until it gets dispelled later on. Fig saw Ruben's high damage level 9 spell and dropped her ploy to get him out of combat as soon as she could. It was too dangerous to have him up, and while the hell bit was uncomfortable in the moment, it is absolutely on brand. This is what they have to do, if they want to stop Porter, who is our real main big-bad. Remove as many obstacles from the battle so more of them can focus on the fight that really matters.

This combat wasn't ever gonna go any other way, unless the dice gods decided otherwise.

This is what The Bad Kid's Do. In regards to the IH's, it is VERY important to acknowledge that while I've mentioned having high narrative expectations, this is still primarily an improve comedy show around a group of real people's DnD game. It's also a show they have a tight filming schedule for, with back to back days and long hours which we KNOW from the talk-backs leave them very tired. Like any tv show they also have a limit on how many episodes per season they can even produce. I think it was a real and genuine benefit to Sophomore year that they were doing it live, because it gave more time between sessions for the IH's to mull over information and whats been happening in-game. This is also a very well developed campaign world they haven't played in several years, which I certainly know would effect me in how I played. We still have one more episode, the Finale, and so much always happens there. I have incredible faith in Brennan as a DM and storyteller, for all that his players have a huge say in how any story he tells unfolds. There is a VERY real chance that what happens in the finale completely changes my mind on episode 19, and I will go back to rewatch with absolute glee because I know of the coming emotional catharsis in relation to The Rat Grinders. There is also a very real chance we don't get that in the way we want it, but that will be ok too. I will still love this season, rewatch it and laugh and have fun. The best part of having a fandom, is watching us take canon apart to fuel endless au's, fix-it's, character studies, ect. Taking crumbs and going wild with it is par the course, especially when something in a show has left us wanting in the moment of watching it. I think more than anything, I would be and am more upset from infighting and genuine anger directed to each other and especially towards our Intrepid Heroes. It is not wrong to be upset with an episode of a show, but it is to take those feelings out on others, be in in defense from Rat Grinder's fans or justification from Rat Grinder haters. So yes! I was disappointed with this particular episode emotionally. I still think it was funny, I think the combat was brilliant and fun to watch. I still love this show and this cast, and could never dream of being mad at them for how they played a game, and for the fun they were finding within the act of playing it as the well-known unhinged improv comedians we know and love.

I'm excited for next week, buuut I am absolutely consuming fan-content to help deal with my emotions, both the highs and lows.

[possamble]

realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

not to out myself on main but Katsuki Bakugo continues to make me fucking insane

[steakout-05]

a collection of some of Barry's really old and weird Dan The Man sprites

this image is just called "feral.png" on my computer and i think you can see why. he looks like a weird feral creature thing. why does he smile like that. why are his eyes so detailed yet his eyebrows are so thin and tiny. why do his hands look like unhinged claws. he's scary i'm scared

grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you grabbing you g

this one is just,,, i think he's supposed to be throwing an enemy? it's at an odd angle though and it looks kinda strange. what is he

this is one of his idles and i think it's really funny because it looks like his head shrunk into his body and now he looks really disproportionate and silly. tiny little man with no neck my beloved

his old ripping sleeves sprite.... there's something slightly uncomfortable about this but i can't put my finger on why

barry's early running sprites were really funny,, look at him he looks like he's wearing pants that are too big i'm losing it

why does he look like that.

FERAL BARRY IS BACK AND HE HAS A FUCKING GUN!!! WE ARE NOT SAFE!!! HE'S SO MALICIOUS!!! EVIL EVIL EVIL AAAAAAA

why is he calmly lunging at me with a shotgun. i am in danger. help.

[gintamajustaway]

The fandom has gotten really dark since you left.. certain shippers are really aggressive about their ships to the point of bullying. I kno you’ve dealt with stuff like that in the past and you handled it all so well I remember reading some anon asks.. any tips n’tricks?

OOF, WHELP -- not sure I'll be much help given that I have no idea what state the fandom is in. All I can really say is that you're going to find aggressive shippers no matter what fandom you're in. My method to dealing with people like that was to just block them and add them to my blacklist. The only times I ever engaged with them was if they came at me directly (which rarely happened -- the more aggressive they are, the more cowardly they were when it came to confrontation) or if they put a callout post about me directly in the main fandom tag. I always clapped back at those people just because like lol if you've got a problem with my fics or my decision to delete them all, okay cool, I don't care, but doing stuff like putting a long-winded complaint post in the main tag is so childish and stupid.

The best advice I think I can give for this is to just not care LOL I sure as hell never did and still don't. Never will! Shipping is supposed to be fun and the people who actively try and take that fun away from others are struggling with issues outside of fandom, but shipping is their outlet so that's where their aggression manifests. Happy people don't care about drama over fictional characters, so go be a happy person! Utilize that block option and live your best life!

[bretongirlwrites]

Julianne, who entirely overdid herself in defeating Mannimarco, was brought back for her convalescence to the chapel in Bruma. Her magicka having been entirely spent, she is forbidden from doing magic for a bit, so as not to overexert herself again.

--------

‘Ah! it’s marvellous to see you up and about, Miss Traven,’ said Cirroc interrupting my nothing, ‘but for all our sakes, don’t overdo it, will you?’

I had already tramped over to the opposite wall, and back, and repeated the action; I had already, for want of other things to do, stretched my arms and combed my hair; and all this having tired me beyond what I thought was possible, I’d taken to leaning against the wall and staring at it as if there were a window there. Father had brought me a small stack of books; but they were some, dry, on theology, and all the rest on magic; and magic was my damnable prohibition, – for a few days, Father had beseeched me, while your font of magicka heals, – you don’t want to overdo it.

‘I don’t think,’ said I desperately, ‘that I can underdo things. I am going insane in here. O how do you live like this!’

‘By appreciation of simplicity,’ said Cirroc shrugging, ‘and devotion to the Nine who provide us our every need, – but I know you are not the clerical sort. I shall see tomorrow if Novaroma has anything lighter to read, or the library, –’

‘I think I’m beyond even Waughin Jarth’s help now,’ said I; but good-humouredly; and cast a last glance out of my non-window before collapsing onto the bed: ‘oh! you’re a mage, Cirroc, it’s like cutting off your damn arm. I am going insane!’ said I, again, –

‘Only another three weeks,’ said Cirroc chuckling sympathetically.

He must have thought that Father had informed me of this, – that though Father had seen my sinking disappointment, he’d not melted in the face of it and understated, – he must not, in short, have suspected that Father had told me: you must not do any magic for a few days. A few days! and I’d battered at the bars of my invisible dungeon and protested and he’d put an arm around my shoulder and said that everything would be all right, –

‘Three weeks!’ I cried.

‘Then,’ said he, ‘ – no doubt you’ll be back at the University by then, – you will have a strict regimen to get your magic back without straining yourself, –’

‘Three weeks!’

‘Think of it as a muscle, Miss Traven,’ said he, ‘have you ever sprained your foot, perhaps? It needs rest, and a slow return to normal, –’

I am sure that sparks might have flown from all my hair and fingers, – had the thing not been banned, – were the font on which I drew, so out of reach, that even had I wanted to, I’d have made a half-glowing cinder at best, and watched it die on the same bed I’d barely survived in. 

‘Three weeks!’ I murmured: and buried my face in the pillow.

He thought at first that I’d burst into tears: moved closer: but when I raised my head, I was as surprised as he was, to be laughing. Laughing, – because it was silly, – because it was trivial, – because I’d lived weeks, months in despair, three days in hell! – and now that all was said and done, I complained that I was deprived of a pleasure, for but three weeks, – a small repercussion, for killing a man, and bringing light all upon the world again!

Father had said, honestly though not without some paternal pride, that: you’ll be one of the greatest mages of the era, when they write the history-books. Here sat the greatest mage of the era, staring at a wall, with not the least bit of magic in her fingertips! o what a sorry pathetic unmoving sight I may be, now all was said and done, – 

‘Three weeks,’ said I leaning back: ‘a most inconvenient prescription. Thank you, doctor.’

‘It will fly by,’ returned Cirroc. 

‘Like a new alterationist and his novice levitation-spell,’ said I: ‘well! Cirroc, – I won’t turn my nose up to a bit of Waughin Jarth, –’

‘I’ll have a look tomorrow,’ he promised and made to leave.

‘It had better be the complete works,’ said I, ‘that will occupy me for a day or two,’ and when he closed the door, I closed my eyes still laughing, – and you will none of you believe it, but I was happy enough for three weeks, – happy that it was over, and I was alive, – alive enough, that my mind, unfettered, raced to complain!...

[jazzzzzzhands]

HI!!! I LITTERALLY ADORE YOUR QUESTION ANSWERER DESIGN!! I JUST WANTED 2 SAY THAT

Oh?? You like... Him???

Well He is a very very busy man, I'm not sure if he would notice your affection!! I'm sure he would be flattered if he wasn't tangled up in his work!

But word to the wise, I would be careful around him! He has been known to be quite...

~Obsessive~

[daggerbeanart]

there‘s about 15 fenhawke wips in my DA stack and that’s without counting all the parts of the multi-piece things ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

[coridallasmultipass]

I hate when my phone won't let me have 2 audio sources running at the same time (depending on the app). I know what I'm doing, let me hear the discordant noises. My brain has built-in audio separation for music. It came as compensation for auditory processing issues. Don't make me pause the music.

[star-mum]

"comfort for what? HAVING A BODY" you continue to be fucking iconic. like that entire rant had me CLAPPING but that part in particular was just oOOOOMF. that was it so like.... Gar x fat reader where Gar hugs her and his instincts go feral because feeling someone with extra fat on their body ignites his breeding kink?? like his animal brain is like "this is a wife. this is a wife who will bear your children and do it well. this is a plump, healthy body for your children. you're gonna fuck her brains out" and he gets a raging boner in what is supposed to be an innocent hug and has to excuse himself and wants to die of embarrassment and the reader is like INTRIGUED by him from that moment on but then he keeps dodging her and avoiding her because of his personal embarrassment

(set during s2 with a reader who is physically affectionate for no reason and would just give him a random hug)

thoughts?

I had to actually take a break when the words “breeding kink” showed up— LIKE THE GENIUS OF THAT ??? AND ABSOLUTELY HE WOULD AAAAAAAAAAA

Me reading this:

So,,, uhm things got a bit out of hand skskks and I talked way to much as usual so,,,

OKAY— so yes to everything you just said !! I can just SEE everyone’s in one the common areas (maybe a post training snack or breakfast, let’s say breakfast 🥴) and Gar’s standing with his back to the door talking to the rest of the group as the coffee machine does it’s thing and reader just walks up to them, greets everyone good morning and hugs Gar from the back, maybe rests her head either on his arm/shoulder so she can join the conversation OR on his back cause she’s just so tired and he just MALFUNCTIONS !!!

Everyone is still in pijamas and she’s not really wearing a bra, so he can feel her chest pressed up against him and hOMEBOY’S DOING FUCKING BREATHING EXERCISES IN HIS HEAD TO CALM HIMSELF DOWN !!! Whoever he was talking to — probs Rachel — goes “you,,, okay dude ?? you look,,, very intense in the face” and he freaks out, not thinking on an excuse quick enough and just BOUNCES “what?! 😧 Uhh yeah yeah im good,,, i just have to,,, i have to go now”

Also not to, once again, pull up my brazilian card BUT we have a habit of greeting people with a hug and a kiss on the cheek — it can be a real like kiss on the cheek or that like fake one sksksk where you touch the side of their face with your face and make a kiss noise KSKSKS most common to do that actually — my friends and I see each other every night in college but we still greet each other like that every time and less cause it’s the “polite thing to do” and more cause its a way to show we like each other and we’re close

SO— in my head, reader — who’s me cause,,,, who the hell else would she be sksksks — does that every morning. It’s a habit !! And when she asked the team if it would make them uncomfortable, to greet them like that, they said no !! So everyone’s getting a hug when she sees them, specially like the ones who don’t live in the tower the whole time !

And that’s fun in TWO different ways CAUSE

1. Gar really likes it and gets all weird about it later, cause the more times he gets turned on by her touching, the more innocent touches start making it happen too

2. POSSESSIVE ANIMAL INSTINCT BABY !!!! I hate — not really — to bring them into this BUT i feel like the ones who’d make Gar the more jealous of are -> Jason and Hank (stop rolling your eyes I have a nom biased explanation KSKSKSKS)

Jason is more of a logical jealousy, he’s hot, he’s their age AND he’s a major flirt/fuck boy sksksk even if it’s in jest or a friendly flirting when Reader hugs him or touches him, he’s still gonna say some bullshit like “i know im hot babe, but you really gotta stop touching me like in front of everyone” or “can’t keep your hands off me huh?” I desire him carnally

Hank is more of a — Absolutely One Sided — physical/animal instinct thing for suuuure. Like out of all the guys, he’s definitely an the closest thing we have to a Natural Alpha, he’s big, he’s strong, he’s agressive and dominant (not sexually but how he holds himself around other ppl) and Gar would just FEEL some sort of anger and jealousy when he sees Reader giving Hank any type of attention, even tho he KNOWS nothing’s ever going to happen (cause 1. Hanks not a fucking predator and 2. He’s very clearly with Dawn) — it definitely would NOT help if Reader let slip something about finding Hank hot/attractive, during a forced teens game night maybe? KSSKKSKS

She’d know RIGHT AWAY something’s off with Gar — cause she swears she saw his eyes turn green after a particularly Fuck Boy-ish quip got Jason a little slap on his arm/chest — he’s both avoiding her like the plague but also ALWAYS standing very close to her in social situations — on the off chance she holds onto him — so she’d up the antee completely -> push him til he breaks

And oh boy does he ever 🥵 Breeding Kink Gar is just supreme, I am not sorry

like I have personally a very clear stance about not wanting kids AND not wanting to experience pregnancy BUT IN FICTION ????? GIVE ME THE BREEDING KINK !! GIVE ME THE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS !! THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS !!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOO

[nymfaia-archive]

COLETTE HURTS MEEEEEE

[i-have-all-these-freakin-uwus]

[majimassqueaktoy]

yamtien 🤝 kazumaji

going years without seeing or speaking to each other even though there's no narrative reason for them to do that

[foldingfittedsheets]

My best friend growing up was a matter of convenience over compatibility. The boy across the street was only a year older than me. We had some common interests but our personality types were a terrible clash. I remember fighting with him just as vividly as any peaceful activity.

We were stuck in the same boat though. There was no other kids to socialize with except our odious older brothers, and being together was slightly less wretched than being alone. Most of the time. Our parents joked that we were like an old married couple, always fighting. We’re both gay now.

His family was better off so he brought more toys and video games to the friendship table. My family had more land so we had animals to play with and secret forest clubhouses. We hung out most days but he refused to acknowledge me at school for the sin of being both a year younger and a girl.

He was a terribly sore loser though. When playing fighting games he’d win four out of five rounds but if I won the fifth he’d turn the console off before letting my character do a victory dance. I was fairly prosaic about this. He liked to play them and I went along. When I won I got to suggest other activities.

Now, I mentioned we both had older brothers. His older brother was only three years above him. They scuffled in a normal sibling manner but the older brother was cognizant that he was bigger and stronger and these fights were more what I would characterize as fencing. There was rules and treaties in place.

My older brother was five years older than me. When we fought it was a no holds barred pit fight. I went absolutely feral. Significantly younger and weaker I unleashed my greatest weapon which was absolute berserker tactics. I bit, scratched, went for the balls, I was a menace. I paid no heed to any injury done to me if it let me land another strike. Most of our fights ended in a stalemate of me pinned or him bleeding too profusely to continue harassing me.

I never considered that I was getting more fighting experience than my friend. When scuffles broke out between us without a controller in hand I won every time. He’d jokingly smack me and we’d go down in a ball of flying hair and monkey screeches, but I always ended on top.

The trouble was, I found, that afterward he was no fun at all. His fragile childhood masculinity couldn’t take these defeats from someone younger and more female than him and he’d always sulk home afterward. I didn’t care for that, especially because fighting him was much more fun than my horrible brother.

Then one day I found the secret. I’d whapped him far too hard upside the head and he began to cry immediately. Full of guilt I whimpered that he’d really hurt my knee. He stopped crying. He hurt my knee? Then we were even! He’d hurt me just as badly and therefore the fight was a draw.

I was delighted by this logic. Every fight thereafter I saw no shame in playing up some injury he’d dealt me retroactively. I had no pride to lose and shamelessly acted beaten to avoid hurting his feelings. Our fights were milder as a result, and we both went away feeling elated by the childhood violence rather than defeated.

[lorenfinch]

...Honestly, writing their interactions, Ren/Aramour is actually a really good pairing I think they would've had good potential. They've both been through some shit, Ren finds him charming, Aramour likes his earnestness and sincerity. Ren/Erevan is still endgame-5ever tho :P