#when i say claire should get into politics i mean that with the way her character is ( sort of ) handled that would be her best option

[rescuefield-arch1]

i think a lot of people fail to understand that claire's work at terrasave is not "volunteering" because that implies she does some work every now and then but the rest of her time she's doing something else / another job. claire doesn't have another job though - in degeneration she was in touch with the fda about vaccines distribution, in infinite darkness she was working in a relief camp on a war zone and later lobbying to get laws to be approved, in heavenly island she literally mentions that terrasave now has a little task force that goes to check on sites that might be at risk of biohazard and if needed they work in tandem with the bsaa ( which is what ends up happening once she confirms it is a biohazard site ), in death island we see a similar situation.

the thing is she's not a civilian in the loose term we give it, because in the meantime from code veronica she has obviously either furthered her studies or continued some sort of training she had started years earlier with chris. "claire is a civilian" or "claire always stumbles into biohazards" implies that she minds her business when we all know she doesn't and actively looks for them. but she is involved in the fight against bioterrorism in the just as much as the other three mains, it's just that her role leans more into the political side via conspiracy theories to uncover etc ( and a bit of the medical part but that's obviously more of a rebecca thing )

[stutee]

Thoughts while and after watching The Crown Season 6 part 1 -

1. As the crown was and is about the Queen(now Late Queen), this season made me dislike her character more. Claire Foy's character was, if not sympathetic, at least helped us in humanising her as a young woman who did not like the spotlight but had to become one of the important people in the world. With Olivia Coleman's queen, her coldness grew. And Imelda Staunton strengthened her position as the cold mechanical Queen. Still won't deny that she had some sort of charm that made people like her or at least be intrigued about her but other than that, there is nothing

2. Season 3's Charles deserved sympathy. He had so much potential to do something but was constantly shut down and beaten until he lost that battle and ended up being ruthless. But if at one side you wish to show the utter heartlessness with which he and others treated Diana, then how can you show Charles as someone who needs to be sympathised and felt sorry for. Sure as any other human he deserved happiness but on the cost of what? This whole thing with Diana was a huge chain of events that resulted in this. There are articles which wrote that in a better way on how if at one side the crown shows him as the selfish husband, on another side it shows his political/royal campaigns as an attempt to show that he is not entirely a bad person?

3. Which brings us to here, the Ghost of Diana. That was terrible. If that all, we were supposed to have Diana's spirit visiting someone it should be only and only her sons. Some article or someone here wrote how it would be better if Diana haunted the Queen and Charles provoking feelings of regret and guilt rather than a learning and a redemption arc. But out of all the people she went to comfort and impart wisdom to the two people who were the most responsible for her pain.

4. Showing Diana as reckless and seeking attention was a terrible move again. Okay maybe they showed how the royals perceived her but the writing was also aimed at showing how she was also not without her faults and even going to the extent of showing Charles as the bigger person.

5. What's interesting is seeing the growth of Prince Philip. From someone who valued his freedom and independent thinking to becoming one with the royals. Sure if we see from Season 1 and 2's perspective of the husband he was, this is better in how Elizabeth and Philip have now become partners. He advises her and supports her and even fights for her(season 5) but now he is just another royal. Telling her how she should not go to London to offer her regards to Diana's funeral. In real life he is known for weird racist remarks which obviously weren't shown here and yes he wasn't any better either way. But still, he eventually became the Prince of windsor from just Philip.

6. There is obviously a grey area where one finds themselves standing, when we see a personal tragedy depicted in a fictional series. Sure Diana was the people's princess and a public figure but somewhere it felt slightly strange witnessing the whole thing. I can't name or describe the strangeness but well it was there.

7. Last and not the least, there is this one thing that I conclude every season i complete, that is, the royals are utterly useless. Now I get that you are all from a large history and it is nice to keep your traditions and cultures alive but not growing or staying stuck to it even after the world outside was changing rapidly? Saying the same old scripted speeches when the common people were desperate for food and better living conditions is terrible. I am not saying to abolish the monarchy, I mean yeah that would be great but sure if you wish to keep that culture but why the pomp and show and treating them as invincible and even funding them. Why can't they have normal jobs? Sure some royals lead pretty normal lives, so why can't they just be normal? Why on earth do they still feel so superior and God like even in the 21st century? The recent events of King Charles lll speaking of poor living conditions sitting on a throne of jewels. That's such a poor taste and being so ignorant of basic things.

I have always loved the cinematography and acting of this series. No wonder it won awards. And while some of it remains in the final seasons, it lacks the same charm of the initial seasons.

Waiting for part 2 to see how this series concludes.

[aparticularbandit]

Catching Snowflakes

Summary: Birdie invites Claire out into a blizzard to catch snowflakes on her tongue.

TW for Birdie making a very unintentionally pointed/off-color comment about conservative politics.

word count: 1188

“Claire, c’mon, c’mon!”

Birdie hooks her elbow through Claire’s and starts through to the front door, but Claire digs her heels in.  This is to her benefit; Birdie’s not Duke, so she can’t physically drag her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t try, pulling and tugging her until she stops, unhooks her elbow, and turns to Claire with a pout.  “Why are you?”

“Well, you’ll find, Bird,” Lionel says, smoothly hanging an arm over Claire’s shoulders, “is that when a woman loves a man very, very much—”

“—then she sleeps with him too young, her conservative family forces her to have the baby, and she gives it up for adoption or it gets thrown into foster care due to negligence, I know, I know, but that doesn’t explain Claire,” Birdie says, gesturing to her with a hand covered in way too many rings. When Lionel just stares at her, blinking, she stares back at him.  “What?”

Lionel blinks again.  “I’m just trying to figure out where that came from.”

“Oh.”  Birdie shrugs.  “I’ve seen all of Claire’s campaign stuff.”  Her gaze flicks to Claire.  “That’s one of your arguing points, isn’t it?”

Claire shakes her head.  “No. No, it’s not.  I’ve never said any of that stuff.”  The corners of her eyes widen, and she tugs her lip between her teeth. “At least not like that,” she whispers, mostly to herself.  She unwraps Lionel’s arm from her shoulder.  “Where were you taking me, Bird?”

“Outside.”  Birdie twirls to face the window, and as she does the skirt of her Christmas green elf dress with the bright red edge flares out around her. It’s stupid – for all of her fashion sense and best foot forward, when it comes to their yearly holiday party, Birdie always dresses in the cheesiest holiday outfit.  They’re always alluring, always tailored to be the most sexually provocative they can be without taking away from their cheese factor, and always one hundred percent Birdie.  At least this one isn’t…appropriative.  Or very politically incorrect.

Claire’s gaze sweeps away from the thick coal black belt cinched tight around Birdie’s waist and up to the window outside.  Snow drifts by not in lovely, spiraling flurries but in a thick set constant curtain with only a brief sparse holes through which the dark sky beyond can be seen – and even then, the sky isn’t dark; it’s mirage white, laden with snow clouds. “You want to go out,” she says, nodding to the window, “in that?”

Birdie turns back to Claire, rolls her eyes, and props one hand on her waist, drawing attention to it once more.  “Of course.  This is when the snow tastes the best!”

Lionel chuckles to himself as Claire just stares at Birdie, her eyes widening.  She isn’t able to say anything at all, but Lionel comes up with something almost immediately. “Snow for those special liquor recipes, huh?”  He reaches over and pats Birdie’s shoulder.  “You can just leave a bowl out.  It’ll fill up with that blizzard out there.”

“What?”  Birdie gives him an incredulous look.  “No. You just stick out your tongue, Lionel. Snow falls on it.”  She raises her eyebrows.  “You’ve never done it, have you?”

“Oh, no, I’ve done it.”  Lionel raises his other hand, gestures to the window with his glass tumbler.  “But not out in a storm like that, I haven’t.”

“You’re just chicken,” Birdie replies, sticking her tongue out at him.

Now Lionel’s eyes widen, and he turns to Claire.  “Did you – did you see that?  Birdie Jay just stuck her tongue out at me!  Someone should take a picture of this momentous occasion!”

Claire shoves him to one side.  “Lionel, you’re drunk.”  She looks out the window, shivers again.  Given how cold it is outside, she’s discarded her normal beige for a much darker chocolate brown, all soft, warm sweater dress with threads of cinnamon coursing through the chocolate, and that same cinnamon in her tights, a much darker shade on her boots.  She tugs her lip between her teeth again, sucks on it, and then, “Fine.”

“You’re coming?” Birdie asks, bright grin splitting her face.

“Yes,” Claire growls out.  She hooks her arm around Birdie’s elbow and is much more successful at dragging her to the door than Birdie was at dragging her.  “Put your coat on, Bird.  You’re not going out like that,” she says as she pulls her own full-length peacoat – this, in beige – from the coatrack.

Birdie, for her part, does not have a coat, but instead has a Mrs. Claus inspired red cloak edged with lace so white that it seems to glow.  “You always take such good care of me, Claire bear.”

“Shush.”

Wind whips white as soon as Claire opens the door, and her eyes instinctively squint as she steps out into the cold.  “Tell me we don’t have to—”

But Birdie sprints – skips – prances past Claire as if the blizzard doesn’t bother her at all, despite the thick flakes of snow collecting on her shoulders, and goes out into the front yard, spins around with her arms outstretched, and leans her head back, hood of her cloak dropping away, blonde curls spilling down her back, mouth open and tongue stuck out to catch snow.  For a moment, all Claire can do is look at her, taking in the image.  Then Birdie looks down, props her hands on her hips, and yells out, “C’mon, Claire!  You said you would play with me!”

“I did not say play,” Claire mutters under her breath, but she does as Birdie asked, tentatively stepping down the steps from Andi’s front porch. She slips, grabs tight to the railing, and lets out a bad word a little too loudly than she would like to do outside where other people can record her.  Still, she makes her way into the front yard next to Birdie.  “Now what.”

Birdie slips one leather gloved hand into Claire’s.  “Now you lean your head back and try to catch a snowflake. Haven’t you done this before?”

Claire shakes her head.  “Not since I was a little….”  She hesitates, doesn’t finish the sentence.  “Not since I was little.”

“Okay, so you lean your head back like this,” Birdie says, as though Claire didn’t hesitate at all, tilting her head back, “and you open your mouth wide, and you try to catch one.  Like this!”  She opens her mouth wide, eyes closed.

For a moment, Claire is convinced that Birdie didn’t even notice the stumbling in her words, but then Birdie gives her hand the slightest of squeezes, and despite the cold, she grows quite warm, cheeks flushing bright, although neither of them can see it.  Then she mimics her friend, leans her head back, opens her mouth wide, and tries to catch a snowflake on her tongue.

When she does – which takes much longer than she thought, considering how fast and furious the snow is falling – it tastes crisp.  New.  Right.  Claire smiles, gives Birdie a look that makes Birdie grin, and then glances up at the sky, at the falling snow, and tries to catch another flake.

[rescuefield-a]

@deadaim asked : ❝ i mean, what could possibly go wrong, right? ❞

she can feel his anxiety take over the moment question is out - was a long time coming in all truth, and claire is actually surprised it took leon so long to finally speak about the offer they had been given considering from whom it came. body leans further against the backrest of her chair, dark shades on bridge of her nose might have fooled everybody else around them but not him - never him. slender fingers reach for the folder hidden under the newspaper once again, giving it another look. one thing for sure is that the BSAA is trying to cover for something, lack of quicker intervention on the field if she had to place a bet, and certainly her old self would be already packed and ready to leave - almost feels like a lifetime ago, and though the signs of time are showing on her husband's face more than on hers still to these days, they can both agree that old habits are hard to die, and some things you simply can't let go of.

"they've got a kid on the way." she says simply, no need to say more when she knows that's all it takes for the chords in their hearts to tug - always been and always will, and by now she wouldn't have it any other way. claire can reason easily with the way leon is looking at her, their own kids being in school right now still unaware of how many sacrifices their parents have been making even before they came in the picture. "rosemary, i think?" a pause, slight frown forming on features as she tries to recall what chris told her. "either way, i know it's not ideal but we should try and see if we can make it work." uprooting their whole family for the sake of another is a huge sacrifice claire wouldn't make if she wasn't absolutely sure it's worth it - the sole fact that she's even entertaining the idea already says enough. hand reaches across table, fingers idly playing with the ones of his hand. "we're just staying there until the winters settle down, then we get our retirement check and fuck it all."

she can already picture it, that lake house she's been eyeing for a while but still never actually made any offer. now it could be the time, give their girls some place more tranquil where to live rather than the chaos of the city. it's what they deserve claire thinks - never stopped running since 1998, it's about time they put something else first besides that promise they made to each other so long ago. "i know they want us both, but if you're not feeling like going to this one then we can take a sit back." a sighs leaves her lips as thumb brushes again silver band on his finger, gaze darting toward the waiter coming with their orders. a polite smile is offered before they leave, focus shifting back to leon. "if i was in their shoes, i would only want the best protection for juni and micah - so i get why he thought about us for this."

[justa-rat]

The Woods. Pt. 1

May 5th,

Word Count: 858

Momma had always told me to stay away from the woods, but momma told me to stay away from a lot of things. I was never very good at listening, though. Each time I would disobey one of momma’s rules, she would become absolutely irate with me. She was never cruel, maybe a slap on the wrist at worst - she had always been worried. Maybe that’s why she had so many of them. Rules, I mean.

The rules themselves would vary, but a decent portion of them was about how I was to interact with strangers. Some of them were the standard fare: Don’t talk to strangers, don’t eat any of the food they give you, and absolutely don’t follow them into the woods. They got a bit… More specific as I aged. 

When I was eight, she told me to never say ‘thank you’ to a stranger. It took me off guard, she had been so adamant about my learning of manners - I had never known the same rules didn’t apply to anyone I didn’t know.

When I was thirteen, strangely enough she warned me to never, ever dance with a stranger.  This one boggled me more than most. After all, how was I to ever get to the point of dancing with someone, if I never was supposed to talk to them anyhow?

The most confusing set of rules she ever imparted, however, came when I had turned fourteen.

“I need you to listen to me, Claire, and I need you to listen well.” I remember how intently her eyes looked into mine, the expression on her face telling the severity of her words.

“Okay, Momma.” I would gently mutter, and she would continue.

“You have to be careful out… In that world. It’s full of terrible people who want to do us nothing but harm. No matter what, though, you have to be polite to the strangers who threaten us.” My mind was once again flipped on its head, the contradictory nature of her rules turning my head into a mess of thoughts. I should have simply let her continue, but I could no longer hold back my question.

“But why, Momma?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter why!” Snapped her immediate response, before she took a deep breath. “I’m… Sorry, pumpkin. It’s just extremely important that you… I just… I need you to trust me, okay honey? As long as you do what I say, everything will be fine.”

“I just…” I whimpered, lip wobbling as worry twisted my stomach, “I-I just dunno how, Momma! None of this makes sense. I’m not supposed to talk to strangers, but I’m also not supposed to be rude? But-But I also have to never say thank you? Which is rude… and the rule about the dancing, Its… Its-“ my eyes filled with tears, sobs building up in my throat. I painfully swallowed the heavy lump forming, trying to keep down my emotions.

“Shhh, shh, baby.” My mother sighed, pulling me into her arms. “I know it’s confusing. I know all of this must be so confusing for you.” She gently stroked the back of my head. “Let me try to explain a little better, okay?” She pulled away to look me in the eyes as she spoke, and I lifted an arm to wipe my leaking eyes. “O-okay, momma.”

“Alright, dear.” She smiled sorrowfully. “You must never, under any circumstances enter the woods. Whenever you are away from home, and encounter an adult you’re unfamiliar with - I need you to try and get out of sight before they notice you. Run straight home after. Now, if they do notice you before you notice them - do not run. That would be considered rude, especially if they call out to you. Engage in friendly conversation; but tell them NOTHING about you. Not your name, not where you live, not even your favorite color - do you understand so far?”

I nodded, and she continued.

“Now, if they offer to take you somewhere, offer to give you food or candy, or offer to do you some sort of favor - always find a way to politely decline. Do NOT outright apologize, but you must let them down gently… Say… Say something like, ‘Unfortunately I can’t, I have to be home for dinner.’ Do anything you can to end the conversation, and come straight home.

Never dance with them, never apologize to them, never thank them. You NEVER want to be in their debt, do you understand me? They will take your words as meaning that, they will expect you to return the favor.”

My stomach twisted, was everyone out in the world truly so scary, would I really be able to live up to her expectations? What would really happen just from saying a few words? I couldn’t fathom.

Yet despite how I claimed I understood, despite how fervently she warned me - I didn’t listen. I was only fourteen, I had just barely begun my transition into adulthood… But worst of all I was curious..

Maybe things wouldn’t have ended up this way, had only I listened.

[supersci]

House of cards season 4 episode 4

Just when you think the character can’t get any better, she does, and she doesn’t need any sly one-liners to do it.Īt the other end of the spectrum you have Spacey, who is both delectable, and yet his shtick is starting to get old. There’s no reason for her to be his handmaiden, and to see Claire come into her own with an absolutely commanding performance from Wright was one of the highlights of the season. She knows how to hurt him the most, and she’s done with sitting on the sidelines. Wright has always been terrific, but this year lets us see that she’s probably the only person in the world who could take Francis down because she’s the only one who truly understands him. Season four kicks off with terrific drama by wisely pitting Claire against Francis, and letting her reach new heights as a character. It’s a season that provides the roller coaster we expect from House of Cards even if that means it also comes with the same frustrations. Additionally, the show relishes in the constant twists and turns, with the most notable coming in the middle of episode four when Frank is shot and Meechum ( Nathan Darrow) and Lucas ( Sebastian Arcelus) are killed.

Almost every plotline serves a purpose, delivers some kind of rewarding payoff, and it further drags us down in the muck of Frank and Claire’s life. This article was originally published on The Atlantic.While Season 4 still has the “Netflix Problem” of being a few episodes too long, it’s tough to say what should be cut this year. 'House of Cards' Season 4, Episode 10: The Live-Binge Review It certainly doesn’t remind me of Claire and Frank. She played hardball with the Vanity Fair editor, but she also authentically swooned over Tom Yates's breakout (and fraudulent) novel, while her husband sneered that its main character was a “pussy.” I wasn’t sure of what to make of that moment. The show has suggested that Frank has a formidable match in Will Conway, but I wonder if Claire does too in Hannah. Her robo-call speech on gun control again demonstrated how her political ruthlessness can dovetail with her personal magnetism and sense for when and how to feign vulnerability. She, of course, is helping that effort by taking an ever more visible role in the policy arena. Recommended: 'House of Cards' Season 4, Episode 1: The Live-Binge Review In Cards land, you can guess at why Frank pushed for chaos in the convention hall: He can manipulate it so that it seems like there’s an authentic groundswell for Claire to be his running mate. But the backroom dealing did give the chance the for the show’s creators to smirkily serve up another all-too-relevant exchange: “A Supreme Court confirmation in the middle of the election?” “Grow a pair.” The prospect of a brokered convention may also turn out to be prescient if the #NeverTrump crowd gets its way in real life. And it’s not clear to me why Cathy Durant wasn’t in the running from the start if she’s such an acceptable candidate to all involved. The Underwood’s machinations with a VP pick and a gun-control bill purposefully sunk by the NRA were, perhaps, not the easiest thing to follow. It also showed that dumb luck is sometimes essential to an investigation: Meechum’s image was on TV at the exact right moment. But Hammerschmidt’s visit to her old block (DC folks, where do we think she lived? Petworth?) turned out to be pivotal because it confirmed that the journalist was onto something. I’m not sure what the point of the phone call with her DUI dad was other than to make her into an even more tragic figure in the afterlife and to remind us of one of the most gut-churning depictions of Father’s Day ever. Tom Hammerschmidt’s investigation has kicked off what feels like the beginning of House of Cards closing its own loop, circling back to people and sets we haven’t seen since 2013. It’s enough to make you miss the astringency of Zoe Barnes, whose ghost haunts this show more than ever. Recommended: How David Hume Helped Me Solve My Midlife Crisis Get ready for more shots of people looking out windows as Paul Sparks mumbles on about clouds and ghosts and sunsets as metaphors for whatever is happening in the plot.

He, meanwhile, chooses not to sell out the Underwoods because he wants to find a new ending to his novel inspired by them. Both Frank and Claire have an inexplicable attraction to him, but they have the pretense of realpolitik reasons-blocking his book from coming out-to hire him as a speechwriter. No one was asking for the return of Tom Yates, a certified phony whose writing, one hopes, is meant only to be a parody of false depth and not the show’s attempt to offer the real thing.

[douxie-casperan]

Rise of the Titans and the assassination Hisirdoux Casperan’s character development

I’ve been ranting so much since Wednesday morning that I finally condensed by thoughts of WHY this one subject keeps setting me off namely the utterly diabolical way they handled Douxie and Archie’s relationship in Rise of the Titans and how it wasn’t just enough to hit him with the nerf bat.

Please note I’m at the point where I literally cannot tell the difference between Aaron headcanons, Teny headcanons and my own they are all mixed together in the blender that does funky things. I also apologise for typo/weird wording it’s half 1 in the morning and I’d rather sleep than edit.

~

If asked to sum up Hisirdoux Casperan there are certainly several things that come to mind:

Sees the value in people as a whole and will find do anything if there is a chance of help someone out

Prefers tactics that disable/banish rather than kill an enemy yet willing and able to pull the trigger if circumstances become forced

While not academically inclined he is very capable of thinking on his feet and outside the box calling back to his time on the streets where a split-second decision making is the difference between being caught and not

Terrible at planning he’ll be in there figuring it out as he goes along which is what makes the previous point so vital to literally how he goes through life

A natural charmer that would let him talk his way out of trouble 9/10 providing a perfect cover for his distrustful nature and reluctance to be touched by random people

Very down to earth, humble and never one to brag unless outright sassing someone

Will bang out some hot tunes at the drop of a hat, his love of music has never wavered once since he caught the bug despite instrument hopping ironically becoming a jack of all trades much like his magic style

The earliest memories he can recall are him as a young boy lost in the woods where he was for an unknown amount of time before his soon to be familiar finds him amongst the roots covered in dirt and drying tears, there is nothing before that. Unbeknownst to him is the colour of his magic matches the blue of a lost mother’s eyes and the song that haunts his nightmares as much as fire could well be hers though there is no way to be sure. From that moment on Archibald, shortened to Archie, would become his entire world and their friendship only becoming closer during the years they prowled Camelot together trying to keep themselves in one piece until the fateful day Douxie tricks the wrong person leading him straight into the path of the famous wizard Merlin Ambrosius.

It's no real secret that Merlin is a very closed off person who keeps his emotions as well guarded as his secrets, prefers the style of negative reinforcement over positive encouragement and is a very strict perfectionist in his. At this point in his life he can be very easily described as a disaster that is genuinely doing his best with every little mistake held of his head and his future self when brought back to that time period is belittled by Lancelot (Errand boy) and Arthur (Boy) too meaning it’s hardly a wonder his confidence was very fragile revelling in the times where he could do things without being told off for it. With Morgana largely ignoring him too (Though personally I like to think as he got older she’d occasionally take an interest until the blistering arguments with their master started to talk over daily life) a certain disguised dragon would have remained a lifeline and give that physical affection he craved much like being told he’d done well never seemed able to earn.

With Killahead he’d lose that home and family he made leaving just the two of them behind struggling to figure out their place in the world that had abandoned them.

There wouldn’t have been the words for it back then but the way he had been treated prior was outright abusive instilling very bad habits into Douxie yet by irony he was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and help those in trouble without thinking earning a reputation as the Shepard of Fire. He refused to become like him seeking to be better, perhaps not as a wizard (Even though he was learning new charms and spells along the way) but certainly as a person. Despite everything he suffers through or witnesses in the intervening years, the loss of friends and kindling of far newer ones he never loses his good heart 

That said is it any wonder that after rightfully sassing Merlin for resurfacing, ignoring his existence despite being in the same town and only visiting him to run a finding errand that all the confidence he’d managed to build completely from scratch after Camelot wavered causing him to fall back solely into trying impressing his old Master who was acting like his humble apprentice must have coasted the past few centuries who himself fell back into old habits of belittling? It’s only when Merlin started to truly listen and acknowledge that this was not the same Moppet he once knew after Excalibur was fixed that their relationship finally started to become more like equals. After the defeat of Janus the changeling that broke into the castle he touched Douxie’s shoulder with a genuine smile and for a second he simply didn’t know what to do because the old man never did this before his brain kicked into gear and realised he’d finally earned that one thing he’d been so desperate for his entire life: That in Merlin’s eyes he could be more than a failure who only caused problems for the closest thing to a father figure he’d ever had, never solved them.

A staff will be earned, history would be set back on trap by banishing Morgana tag teaming with Archie because they know one another inside and out, as promised he’d get the kids back to the present but soon after things would go badly wrong. They’d lose Jim and because of his very nature he’d make a gamble to try and get him back because that life is worth trying for just for in a moment of surprising selflessness Merlin would be sacrificed to save him. The only constant in his life apart from Archie would apologise, openly express pride and how the greatest thing he’d ever done was saving this orphan, call him son for the first and final time before turning into ash in his arms. There would be no time to grieve for things will barrel into the crescendo of Douxie sacrificing his own life to buy everyone time to escape because if they did that everything he’d ever done would be worth it with one last whispered goodbye.

(Zoe sees him fall, so does Archie – His heart would break if he was conscious just like theirs does when his body crumples into the ground)

On the very fringes of the Light Realm he is gifted one more conversation with Merlin in a truly heart-breaking sequence (THANKS TENY) where they can just talk without any fear of consequence or politics and just be completely honest. Douxie is allowed to stand equal to Merlin, to have the hug he’d needed since he was a child and be allowed to simply let go of every pretense and cry his heart out because this can never happen again. He’s allowed to say goodbye to both his master and Morgana who had both shaped so very much of his life but like the painting he’d always remained firmly in the long shadows of until that moment.

When Hisirdoux Casperan finally leaves Wizards if we just accidently deliberately put the shawarma back in along with checking in with Zoe before departure, it is with having learned to live during his wandering years but this is the point of true freedom because he can finally escape into his own light with Archie by his side to keep Nari out of the hands of those that would see the world harmed. It won’t be easy but it feels possible somehow even with the knowledge everything is simply running on borrowed time.

Then Rise of the Titans happens.

At first everything is genuinely fine! No more running, they engineer a solution shut the Order’s magic down to make them a lot less dangerous and potentially at least incapacitate them until they can come up with a longer-term solution but all the best laid plans and all that. Douxie’s quick thinking stops the train from crushing any of the people below and it’s a very him style move to switch places with Nari to stall for time because for some reason the plot disabled Claire from portaling her or any of the threatened people/heroes to safety. He openly sasses the Order despite knowing the consequences will be bad for him because once again he’s managed to trick them, buy time that at the other end isn’t even slightly utilised until he’s forced back into his own body in excruciating pain. Archie immediately mobs him with comfort just as he has done every single time the wizard is distressed or collapsed with exhaustion without thinking because that is what their bond is like, incredibly close and far more than the Soul Bond mark that connects them together. They’re very alike in that regard, you have to earn the right to touch while equally knowing exactly what form the other needs the most in that precise moment in a way very few others could.

Bar the moment of figuring out that an illusion is in place to hide where the Order is opening the Genesis Seals and the brief insistence on reconnecting with Nari somehow Douxie manages to forget everything that makes him who he is after this point choosing to stand in the background being very no thoughts head empty or can only use the most basic spells of his youthful days not the seasoned master wizard he should be. Nomura is treated like an innocent slip rather than an outright death he did absolutely nothing to prevent (Not to mention the stupid daytime thing) nor seems to care particularly about afterwards yet with Nari’s he’s allowed to openly grieve in a gorgeously animated visual showing how he’d failed to keep her safe despite everything. He did nothing to help here either mind despite allowing himself to be tortured in the same piece of media to keep her safe, just watched another loss happen right in front of his eyes in his conga long line of them.

Then there’s Archie, oh god then there was Archie.

The dragon who even here he’d been shown to have an incredibly close bond with him decides you know what sod that tell him goodbye I’m going to make a joke about having a kingdom now dad and me are trapped in here forever. Douxie on his part looked sad for all of three seconds saying that he hoped he’s happy like it's a pet that wandered out into the world one day and never came back instead of a lifelong companion that has been there for as long as he can remember. He was now completely alone in the world since Zoe was also written out entirely and because every bit of his background had been forgotten about it somehow meant nothing. This wasn’t “I know you miss him, I know you need to grieve but you are running out of time” moment like things had been with Charlie, this was “cool shapeshifting dragon cat is now stuck in a plot hole that’s a shame” with zero pay off or any of the genuine reaction that should have been there or hell even trying to Ohana him back that very second because it never should have happened in the first place. Then even this wasn’t enough somehow, they managed to de-power Douxie even further into uselessness bar the (Admittedly nifty!) sticky feet stunt, the one who fought Skrael and Bellroc to a stalemate was shunted aside with barely a thought and his head would somehow get even emptier.

The one person who knew the danger of time magic the most stood by and said nothing.

The one person who would suffer the most by a reset because the lynchpin to his issues would be asleep if you got it wrong and should have drilled it into Jim’s head the best time to aim for stood by and said nothing.

The one person who had just suffered the loss of his familiar, best friend and only family along with the almost sister like Nari stood by and said nothing.

Then to add further insult to injury the caption when Douxie and Archie is shown says Some go their entire lives living an existence of quiet desperation because every drop of his character growth, his ability to finally start addressing his trauma instilled back in the 12th century, the staff he longed for was instead openly mocked by going “Aww he got his cat friend back how nice!” Everything he’d rightfully earned and had now would be unable to progress until certain criteria are met because it hinges entirely on the Trollhunter going to Merlin’s tomb and there’s only so much your support network of two (One if she’s written out) can do, the root of the majority of his issues all stem from one man.

And this folks is why I’ve been going on multiple rants about Douxie in particular, everyone was hit with the out of character bat to some degree in this film but when they came for him they didn’t just stop after they took his legs out because they wanted him to suffer from something he’s never had any control over to begin with all over again. Abuse survivors deserve better, these characters deserve better and we as viewers deserve far far better writing than we were forced to endure.

[ewritesfanfics]

Day 2: Memories

@krexieweek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36841816

Krel does not like this mud-ball.

It is primitive to an infuriating degree, and its customs are weird and shrouded in language that does not mean what the words indicate it should mean! It’s maddening!

He also does not like this school.

The math is on-par with what Akiridion children learn, and he does not know why the drapes are blue in this human book and the teacher keeps asking him despite him not being the writer, and in gym class, he has been forced to run long a long distance with no end goal! Why do the humans run for long distances in circles? They are going nowhere and accomplishing nothing!

So deep in his stewing and grumbling, Krel Tarron manages to run face-first into the open door of the locker.

On the ground, he vaguely wonders what would happen he just laid here and refused to get up.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, are you alright?”

He sits up slowly, rubbing at the sore spot on his head, and comes face-to-face with a girl dressed in purple who has a streak of white in her dark hair. She looks surprised to see him.

“Uh, you’re one of the new kids, aren’t you? Um, it’s Krel, right?”

“How do you know my name?”

“You have a couple of classes with some of my friends. According to Eli, you’re really something in math.”

“Well at least someone here appreciates my genius.”

She sticks out her hand. Why does she stick out her hand?

“I’ll help you up, give me your hand,” she says after an awkward few seconds of him just staring at her hand. He does as she says, and sure enough, she pulls, allowing him to get leverage with his feet and stand back up with ease.

“Thank you,” he says stiffly, “Uh … what is your name?” He figures he should at least ask for her name since she already knows his. That’s something humans consider polite, right?

“Oh, I’m Claire Nuñez! It’s nice to meet you. Since you’re new, would you and your sister like to hang out with me and my friends after school? We could show you some of the hot hangout spots around town.”

“What does the temperature of a spot have to do with its potential for ‘hanging out’?” He’s just glad he got the explanation for what ‘hanging out’ is a couple of delsons ago, otherwise he’s certain what she just said would have been completely incomprehensible.

“It’s just a way to say these places are popular, and lots of people like them,” she says patiently, far more patiently than anyone else Krel’s encountered thus far, not even batting an eye at Krel’s misunderstanding of the phrase.

“So, you actually want to hangout … in popular spaces with lots of other people … with my sister … and me?”

“Yeah! Think of it as an apology for the locker, and as a ‘welcome to Arcadia’ kind of thing.”

“I should probably speak to her first …”

“Well, if she wants to come, my friends and I will hang around the school’s front entrance a few minutes longer than normal.”

  At the end of the school day, they do go and meet Claire outside of the school.

“Hey! Glad you decided to come!” she calls out as they approach.

“You are Claire, yes?” Aja asks.

“That’s right. And I think I’ve heard people call you Aja?”

“Yes, that’s my name!”

“Well, Aja, Krel, these are my friends Jim and Toby. Jim, Toby, these are the new exchange students.”

With her are two boys, one short and rotund and clad in orange and yellow, the other lanky and skinny and clad in blue.

Something stirs in the back of his mind, and he gets an odd feeling when looking at the trio, though he can’t quite pinpoint exactly what that feeling is.

“Hello! So, where are we going?” Aja asks excitedly.

“Come with us and you’ll see!” Jim says, beckoning them to follow.

They follow the humans for what seems like forever, the walk dragging on and on, but then they come upon a bridge, and then the humans are insisting they go down into the large concrete canal. Krel and Aja are ushered beneath the metal structure and placed in front of a wall.

“Um, what is going on?” he asks.

But even before the humans can answer that …

“Step away from the princelings!”

“Ugh, Varvatos!” Aja groans as their guardian hustles over, his serrator out and poised to attack.

“We’re fine, Varvatos! They just wanted to hang out after school. They are showing us places popular amongst the teenagers,” Krel says, rolling his eyes.

“Then you should have alerted me that you would not be coming home directly after your school! As far as Varvatos knew, you could have been hurt or taken by bounty hunters!”

“Varvatos, hush!” Aja says frantically.

“Actually, it’s good he’s here,” Claire says.

“Huh?” Krel asks.

Jim just smiles and pulls this weird, glowing orange rock from his bag, and it’s unlike any rock Krel has seen on Earth. He watches in fascination as the tip of the rock is placed against the wall, and as Jim drags it in an arch, a blue light is left in its wake. With a press of his hand to the center, a doorway opens.

Krel is too stunned to speak.

“Lively,” Aja mutters in awe.

The three humans file inside, waving them on. They follow, but not before Varvatos steps in front of them with a huff, insisting on going first to ensure it is safe.

Once everyone’s inside, the doorway closes behind them. In front of them, a giant staircase made from glowing blue crystals descends into the depths.

“What is this place?” Krel asks, finally pushing past the block.

“Before that … For the glory of Merlin, Daylight is mine to command!”

There’s an intense flash of blue that explodes outward from a metal circle held in Jim’s hand. This circle is placed on his chest as pieces of armor appear out of nowhere and cover his body until he is clad in a full suit with a massive sword is slung across his back.

“It is an ambush!” Varvatos cries.

Before Krel or Aja can stop him, Varvatos leaps forward, his serrator forming a sword, and the Jim human easily sidesteps. A hand touches Varvatos briefly on the shoulder, and during this moment of contact, a green light flashes from beneath his hand and from within the circle. Varvatos gasps and sinks to his knees, eyes staring off into space.

“What did you do to him?” Aja gasps.

“Eh, just a reminder.”

He then steps forward before either of them can react to that statement and places one hand on Krel’s shoulder and one on Aja’s. The same green light flashes. And then pain splits through Krel’s head, a feeling as if his very mind is getting pulled in every direction to its very limits.

Images flash in front of his eyes at an incredible speed, sending splitting pain through his head as emotions and knowledge and experiences flood in, blocking out all senses.

Bounty hunters and Varvatos’ betrayal and the Eternal Night.

Kubritz and Area 49-B and Stuart.

Gaylen’s core and an apocalypse and deciding to stay on Earth.

The Arcane Order and Titans and the Krohnisfere.

He can feel the pain of his knees hitting stone, but there’s too much happening in his head, too much, too much …

And then, as quickly as it came, it’s gone.

“J-Jim ..?” he just barely manages to croak out.

“Sorry we didn’t get you guys sooner, we honestly had no idea you guys were in town already,” Claire says.

Krel blinks his eyes, trying to clear away the last vestiges of the magic, and he looks up at the three humans. The three Trollhunters. Three of the best friends he’s ever had, and three people who he’d trust his life with. Three people he’d follow to the ends of the Earth and back, and who would do the same for him.

Beside him, Aja stumbles to her feet, and she looks far older than she had mere minutes ago, the weight of being Queen settling onto her shoulders and lifting her head up high. Beyond Jim, Varvatos too has gotten to his feet and is asking Toby about his grandmother.

Krel looks back at Jim who is still in front of him, and is holding a hand out, much as Claire had earlier.

That chasm of fear and loneliness that had yawned wide in his chest since they had to flee Akiridion 5 is gone, entirely, and a hole he hadn’t even known was there is filled.

He clasps the hand, a familiar gesture between allies and friends, and stands.

“Now, come on. There are some people waiting for us down in Trollmarket,” Jim says.

  He’d never seen Trollmarket in its true splendor before, the place gutted and abandoned by the time he and Aja were brought down here the first go around – a mere shadow of what it had once been, a desolate place of pain and loss.

Now though, it’s bright and brimming with life. There’s an energy to it all that seems to envelop him, and if he weren’t heading somewhere specific, he’s certain he’d be going through each and every store to marvel at everything.

Many of the trolls look discomforted at their presence, which he and Aja both find a little odd at first, but Jim says it’s because they’re still wearing their transductions and so the trolls think they’re more humans – and at this point, the transductions can’t be taken off at will yet. So, they’ll be stuck like this until about 7 o’clock.

But all of his thoughts of constructing portable transductions again are forgotten once they enter Vendel’s inner sanctum or whatever inside the heartstone itself.

Around a table, various people are gathered. Blinky stands by Aaarrrgghh, the two of whom are conversing with … Merlin, unfortunately … and Vendel, who he recognizes from his Mama and Papa’s memory. Beside them are Barbara and Strickler. Then there’s Nomura and a large blue troll Krel is guessing is the one named Draal, he fits the description Jim had given. NotEnrique is joking with Steve and Eli. And then there’s Zoe who’s talking with Archie and –

“Douxie …”

He doesn’t consciously move, but the next thing he knows, he’s flung himself at Douxie, and the two go tumbling to the ground.

He’s now chest to chest with the wizard, brown staring into gold, Krel’s arms holding him up while Douxie’s arms are wrapped around his waist.

“I missed you,” Douxie says.

“We promised each other that we would find each other again, some way, somehow. I am just sorry it took me so long.”

“No need for that, love. We’re both here now, aren’t we?”

Krel presses his forehead to Douxie’s, a traditional Akiridion display of affection, and Douxie huffs out a small, fond chuckle.

“Hisirdoux, what in the name of Mordrax are you doing?”

Krel looks up to see Merlin staring down at them, and while still a tad exasperated, his expression is more perplexed than anything else.

“Varvatos would also like to know what is happening with the King-in-Waiting and the wizard,” Krel hears from behind them.

“So would I,” Aja says pointedly, and Krel winces.

Right, I didn’t have the chance to tell her before the ordeal with the titans.

“Just give them their moment,” Jim says, and Krel silently thanks the Trollhunter.

“Fuzzbuckets, now we actually have to do the ‘meet the parents’ thing.”

A realization strikes Krel, and he looks back down at Douxie excitedly.

“Yes! And now it’s not just Varvatos, you can actually meet Mama and Papa! They won’t have to sacrifice themselves!”

Douxie gives Krel a 1000-watt smile, joy practically radiating off of him. His hands move from Krel’s waist up to cup his face, gently brushing the hair from his face.

“I can’t wait.”

[in-tua-deep]

Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!

here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS

no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission

So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well

please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel

the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.

So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"

and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"

"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"

"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"

This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.

Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable

So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon

Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."

Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"

meanwhile with the siblings

Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations

Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"

the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh

Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic

Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."

"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.

"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."

"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."

"I'm adopted." Five waves away.

"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?

"I'm double adopted."

However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.

Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?

Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that

Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful

Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"

Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends

Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes

Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.

I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot

Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?

"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."

Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly

Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"

(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)

"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.

"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.

It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze

Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.

So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?

and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"

"Your DAD?"

Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.

Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone

Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick

Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well

Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much

honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"

[magniloquent-raven]

so there's this post @draculcid made a lil while ago that i thought was fuckin ADORABLE, and i wrote a thing. that sat in my drafts for a while lol, but here is the finished product, pls enjoy

--

if asked, he honestly couldn't say how he ended up being holly wheeler's babysitter. something to do with steve mentioning to claudia, who mentioned to karen, that billy has a lot of free time lately, and the next thing he knows he's being cornered at melvald's and strong-armed into spending afternoons with the least bratty wheeler child.

ever since she got her new job and apartment and shit, she's needed someone to pick holly up from school, and apparently billy counts as a qualified adult.

the couple hours he has to spend watching the kid aren't awful, holly's alright, but the five minutes of small talk when mrs.wheeler gets back is always awkward as hell. she tries painfully hard to be polite and he hates it.

but he needs the money. it was either this or waiting tables at the 24hr diner, and, shockingly, he's actually more qualified for the babysitting gig.

maybe he's not dad material or anything, but he manages. he had fun bossing the aqua tots around last summer, while it lasted. the young ones are easier to deal with.

though it's truly exhausting sometimes. on the days when his scars ache and it's more noticeable than ever that he isn't as strong as he used to be because he has to keep putting holly down even though he promised her a piggy-back ride.

but on those days he calls steve, because steve is a goddamn blessing.

steve always has pizza money and he lets holly put glittery clips in his hair—something billy doesn't do anymore, not after she got one tangled so deep in his curls he had to go home with it still in there—and he's a good sport when she wants to play pretend.

today she wanted to play house. billy's not entirely sure what that means but it's keeping the kid happy and steve looks ridiculously adorable in the stupid apron she made him wear, so.

billy though, billy likes to think he still has some dignity left, so he's busying himself cleaning up the mess of lego on the living room floor while steve makes an invisible sandwich for holly.

but then holly says, in her quiet little voice, "is daddy coming home now?" and billy pauses, stops with his hand hovering awkwardly in midair and his heart hammering.

he glances at her out of the corner of his eye. awkward conversations about the fact that her mom and dad are divorced now, and what that all means, are definitely not supposed to be part of his babysitting duties.

how would that conversation even go? he's pretty sure she knows about the separation, she has to, she moved away without her dad, they had to have told her something, but—

"i think she means you, big guy," steve supplies, with barely contained amusement.

ah. right. playing house.

he mentally shakes himself, and drops the lego bin on the coffee table before shuffling over to join steve and holly by the little plastic kitchen set. steve is smirking at him, way to smug for the guy who's wearing a frilly apron.

billy plops on the carpet next to steve. "honey, i'm home," he says dryly.

it takes about fifteen minutes for him to completely forget about feeling weird about it all.

in fact, it's disturbingly easy to slip into his role, making moon-eyes at steve and pretending it's because he's acting. he's been careless lately. letting his feelings get all over the place. he never was that subtle around steve, but the weird domesticity of babysitting a kid together gets in his head.

like when steve pokes fun at his make-belief dish washing skills and it's somehow not embarrassing. and it just does things to billy's stupid heart because it doesn't realize they aren't actually married.

"shut up," billy mutters, softly, too soft, warm and not at all threatening. he should feel off-balance but he doesn't.

"is that any way to talk to your wife?" steve can barely say it without grinning.

his big dumb sunshine-y grin is probably what fried billy's brain enough for him to respond with, "aw, sorry, baby," a little too sweetly to be serious, and then—

it's over before he even realizes what he's doing. and he's left sitting there, leaning into steve's space, looking into steve's eyes, wide with shock, searching billy's face, still inches away because steve hasn't moved or reacted or...

"claire from art class says boys aren't supposed to kiss each other," holly whispers.

billy jerks backward, ending up a foot further from steve than he was before, trying to pretend his heart isn't racing and he isn't struggling to breathe, and his goddamn lips aren't tingling with the phantom sensation of steve's mouth pressed to his, breath mingling, a soft sound just...

he curls his fingers into the carpet at his sides and stares, unseeing, at a stain on the knee of his jeans.

before he can even fathom saying a damn word, steve cuts in with a vehement, "claire from art class is full of shit," and billy startles, turning to look at him. there's a set to his jaw and a spark of something in his eye, determined and steady despite the flush on his cheeks.

it's a really inconvenient moment for billy to get distracted by how fucking gorgeous steve is.

holly lets out a nervous giggle. "steeve...that's a swear."

"ah, fu—uhh...um. right." steve pushes his bangs away from his face and sighs. a couple locks stick out awkwardly when his hand falls away, and it makes billy's fingers itch. "listen, holly. it's not nice to tell people they aren't allowed to love someone—"

"you and billy are in love?" she gasps, her eyes huge and round, flicking between the two of them.

steve turns impossibly pinker, mouth opening and closing silently. billy's heart leaps.

he bites his lip, holding back a smile and trying to stamp down on the bubbling, hopeful warmth in his chest. he needs to do something. right now. something other than stare at steve. he runs a hand down his face, blows out a breath, and tries to get his shit together.

"alright, holly, steve here is gonna make us some hot chocolate, with extra marshmallows, and you are gonna forget this ever happened, deal?"

she glances between billy and steve with a furrowed brow. "and a piggyback ride?"

billy snorts. "sure, kid, whatever you want."

she grins, suddenly, and nods. "okay."

"billy, you sure you're feeling up to that?" steve murmurs. when billy turns to look at him he's a lot closer than expected. his breath catches, the irritated retort on the tip of his tongue evaporates.

"yeah, i..." his gaze wanders down a little, touching, briefly, on steve's mouth before he snaps his eyes back upward. "i'm fine."

steve's hand inches towards his on the carpet between them, fingertips brushing billy's knuckles. holly's staring at them, billy can see her out of the corner of his eye. the scrutiny is setting his teeth on edge but he doesn't pull away. "just. don't push yourself, okay?"

billy scoffs. "yeah, yeah."

and then steve kisses his cheek.

fucking. kisses his cheek.

he doesn't linger, he's sauntering off to the kitchen before billy can even fucking blink. it's brief enough that billy wonders if he imagined the sudden warm pressure of steve's lips against his skin, the way steve's eyes were all lit up and fond and just that little bit defiant, like he was daring billy to say something about it.

they'll talk about it, he's sure. later. billy's a horrifying mix of ecstatic and absolutely terrified. he's shit at talking about his feelings, and so is steve. it's going to be a goddamn shitshow, but...

but still. he has a good feeling about it.

holly's even quieter than usual when she scoots over to sit next to billy, "you love steve?"

"thought we were gonna forget about that, wheeler." he glances down at her. there's nothing but innocent curiosity on her face. he sighs. bites his lip. "...yeah. yeah i do."

[merci-bitch]

Her Lover

Alma LeFay Peregrine x fem!reader

Warnings: abuse, swearing, death, fluff, angst

Words: 5k

A/N: it’s been a while, hasn’t it. Lol. I’ve been having my exams and shit and I’ve been working on this for the longest time so I’m really sorry if there’s a word that’s not supposed to be there, I don’t really proof read. But hopefully more stuff shall be coming soon. Ta ta! Xx

Jake was surprised, it was all real. What his grandfather had told him, all those stories. They were real. It was unbelievable. At first, when he saw the boomed children's home he didn't really believe it. As that man said at the pub. 3 September 1943. No one survived, but then how come Miss Peregrine's letter had only come 2 years before to his grandfather. How was that even possible?

When we first entered the loop, he of course ran away and nearly got himself killed. Thankfully his new friends saved him from those angry Walsh people. The house looked so different from those ruins he saw. It was actually a very beautiful house. Big and tall and all those flowers growing up on the sides. Completely different.

Miss Peregrine wasn't anything like he'd expected. Not at all, despite from all the stories he'd got from his grandfather. Apparently she was the bird flying above him and his father when they first arrived to Cairnholm. Ever since Jake arrived, he'd notice that on the bird's right hand, her ring finger. There was a small ring with a single diamond. Jake knew it wasn't probably wasn't his thing to ask, but he didn't see anyone else then the people he'd already seen. His grandfather had never really mentioned anything or anyone else then the ones he'd already talked about.

He had helped Emma with the baby squirrel, it was a bit awkward wrapping the rope around her waist. He'd noticed Miss Peregrine's glare, it was uneasy. As if she felt some sort of jealousy? But that was ridiculous. Absurd. Jake had agreed to join them for supper. Emma was helping him in his grandfather's old room. He just couldn't but ask.

"Emma, could I ask you a question?"

"Jake, I told you that there are questions I can't answer." Emma said as she tied his tie.

"I know, but it's just. Does Miss Peregrine love you? Like, that way?"

Emma stilled. Almost uncomfortably.

"Jake. What's got you to even think of such disgusting things?!"

"I'm sorry! It's just, I saw her glare." Jake held his hands up in defeat.

Emma let out a sigh. Looked down before looking up again. "You must understand. Miss Peregrine, well all of us lost someone dear. It's taking her long time to actually get back to who she is. So please, stop asking questions." As she finished speaking the bell rang. They both walked down together and Jake almost sat down on Millard.

"Millard. Go and put some clothes on. Polite persons do not take their supper in the nude."

Jake almost felt sorry for him, he didn't mean to take his place really. He couldn't see him, obviously. He was, well he is invisible. During dinner, he couldn't help but stare at Miss Peregrine's right hand with that ring. Her long slim fingers with those long nails. The ring was silver. The small diamond was pretty. And shiny.

"Claire, why aren't you eating?" Miss Peregrine asked, looking with worry to Claire. Chewing on the piece of food.

"She's embarrassed in front of Jake." Hugh said, leaning over to Claire.

Jake shook his head. "Don't be. Please."

Claire looked over at Miss Peregrine with a small smile and Miss Peregrine sent Claire a wink before turning back to her own food. Claire grabbed the chicken leg and put it behind her head and a few seconds later she put the clean bone back on her plate.

"So Jake, what's your peculiarity?" Horace asked. Leaning over the table a bit to see Jake as he asked.

"Oh, I'm not peculiar." Jake stammered.

Enoch put down his fork and knife and said, "And that, my friends, is why he will not be staying with us. No matter how hard we try to persuade him."

Miss Peregrine spoke up again. Her voice light but firm. "We've spoken about this. Jake is just visiting."

Hugh opened his mouth, "He might want to say."

"Don't you want to stay, Jake?" Olive asked.

"Tonight? Or..-" Jake didn't get a chance to finish of his sentence before Claire irrupted him.

"Forever! You should stay forever." Her smile big.

"Why would he, if he doesn't have to? He can live out there, grow older, have a good time instead." Enoch said. Trying to make a clear point of why he didn't want Jake in the house. Jake could feel Emma slightly lift from her seat despite being strapped down. She was getting uncomfortable.

"He'll leave, just like his grandfather did." With that, Enoch started eating again and Emma got up and practically ran out of the room despite her heavy shoes. Miss Peregrine's call for Emma didn't stop her. As Emma left, a clothed Millard came into the room. Excusing himself. Sitting down and starting to eat his own food.

"Deep breathes Alma, you know how dear Enoch gets with new company."

Miss Peregrine closed her eyes at the voice inside her head. She was right. She slowly got up as the telephone rang. "I think you should all get ready for movie time while I answer that."

"But you always let us stay for it." Claire begged. Miss Peregrine turned around and gave the children a glare that almost scared Jake. She was a strange woman, yes she was. Miss Peregrine stepped out to the hallway, to the ringing telephone. This time, she nearly didn't answer it. Wishing the voice inside her head would come back. Missing the touch of that person with the voice nearly threw her off guard. She nearly kicked herself from going off schedule. Shaking her head, she answered the telephone and went on with the schedule.

The time went on, again. Horace's projected his dreams. One particular dream made Alma tense up. She couldn't watch it. She turned on the lights and heard all the groans from the children. It was almost re-set time. Olive asked Jake to stay and see the re-set. Enoch clearly didn't want him to. Alma felt herself chuckle softly. The arguments between Enoch and re-set. Alma stepped out in her raincoat and put on her gas mask after putting on the music. Run Rabbit Run. She would always sing along to the song-Alma kicked herself mentally again. She stopped her clock, she turned it 24 times to represent the 24 hours of the loop. She took of the gas mask and smiled towards her children.

She said her goodnight to the other children as Emma and Jake made their way out the door. Her smile faded as they disappeared from her view. She closed the door, knowing Emma would lock it. She slowly made her way up the stairs, to the end of the hallway, to her bedroom. She opened the door and walked in and closed the door again and locked it. Leaning against the door and closing her eyes.

"You know me better then I do. Can't seem to keep nothing from you. How you touch my soul from the outside. I still love you even though I'm scared. Learning to be grateful of myself. I wish I could love me like you did, how I wish I could trust myself like you did."

She moved from the door and towards her desk and sat down and started unpinning her hair. Brushing through her hair slowly. That black-blue hair. The little curls. She got undressed and dressed in her lacy nightgown and brushed her teeth and took off the makeup she'd been carrying during the day. She laid down in the cold bed, shivering slightly. Falling asleep after a few minutes.

***

"Clarice! Clarice come on. We have to get back. We can't stay in La Pari forever. We've been gone 7 years too long!" Claire let out a groan and stopped walking. "But Y/N! I love Paris!" Y/N shook her head. Her little sister was definitely a number. "Well, you wrote to Alma we'd be home, so let's go." Clarice didn't move. "I? I didn't write. She's your wife." Y/N felt herself tense up. Oh no. Y/N had forgotten to write, and she'd hopped her darling sister had written.

"When was the last time You wrote back home Clarice." Y/N looking over at her sister, with a glare almost identical to Alma's. Clarice bit her bottom lip. "5 years ago." Y/N felt her head spinning. She sat down and rubbed her forehead. Clarice started laughing. "What's so funny?!" Clarice threw her head back in laughter.

"Oh lord, the handful you will get when you get back. I mean Abe will definitely be in her side." Clarice said while patting her older sister's shoulder. "God. She'd kill me. I swear, I didn't mean to forget and I thought you'd been writing." Clarice shook her head. "But you're right. Let's go home."

***

"Jake, you're back. How wonderful." Miss Peregrine said as she held the Ymbryne tight to her.

"How's it doing?" Jake asked. "Emma said it was an Ymbryne."

"She. Not 'it'. Ymbrynes are always female." Miss Peregrine said as she looked up at Jake. "And Emma was quite correct. This is Miss Avocet." Miss Peregrine continued to give Miss Avocet the medicine.

"Her loop's in Blackpool, England." Jake said. Miss Peregrine slowly turned her head up towards him and saw him holding a piece of paper. "That was a private letter, Jake." She said as she put down the medication.

"Who is Mr. Barron?" Jake asked, slightly raising his voice.

Miss Peregrine's face expression turned blank and her right hand came almost protectively over Miss Avocet.

"Miss Peregrine, if my grandpa was involved with dangerous people. I need to tell the police." Miss Peregrine looked up at Jake again, her brows knitted with confusion.

"Police? Are you implying Abe died an unnatural death?" Her voice going quiet.

"I found him in the woods, with his eyes missing. I'd say that was pretty unnatural." Jake said as he watched Miss Peregrine raise from her chair. Miss Peregrine looked at Jake in disappointment, snatching the letter out of his hands.

"Unless essential, I don't discuss unpleasant matters. An Ymbryne's duty is to protect children, Jake." With that, she left the room, almost in a hurry.

"I'm not a child! He wanted you to tell me everything!" Jake shouted after her. Jake let out a sigh of frustration and walked down the hallway and was stopped when both Enoch and Olive came into his view.

"Oh. How frustrating for you. Between Miss Peregrine's rules and my housemates' little pact not to scare you off, it's like no one's telling you anything." Enoch was sarcastic. Olive stood quietly behind him. Jake leaned forward.

"Why don't you, then? It's not like you want me here."

This time, Olive spoke up.

"Enoch, you can't. You promised." Enoch looked back at Olive before answering.

"Olive's right. I do know someone who can get away with breaking rules though. Want to meet him?" Jake looked a bit uneasy at Enoch before following him up the stairs. Olive behind them.

"Enoch, don't do this. Please!" She grabbed his arm, begging him not to do whatever he was going to do.

"You want to spend time with me and Jake, we can all play together. That's what you said." Enoch said as they reached a door at the end of the hallway. Olive stood in front of them. Not letting them pass through the door.

"Well, here we all are." Enoch said. Olive looked up at him with a bit ready expression. "Move Olive."

"If you're going to be like that, then I don't want to be your friend." With that, Olive left. Sobbing quietly to herself while walking down the hallway.

"Enoch, leave Victor alone. It really upsets Bronwyn." Fiona said as she walked up to Enoch and Jake. Enoch put both his hands on Fiona's shoulders, "Stop fussing, Fiona. Don't you think Jake should meet everybody?" He said while looking over at Jake.

"He's trying to frighten you away, Jake. He's always jealous of Abe. And now he's jealous of you. Come and play with us instead."

Enoch crossed his arms and looked at Jake, waiting for an answer. Jake didn't really know what to say.

"I'd quite like to meet Victor." Jake said after some time. Enoch smiled and ruffed Fiona's hair. Enoch opened the door, letting Jake walk in. "After you."

In the middle of the room there was a bed, covered in thin layers of fabric, and Jake saw Victor, lying there. He slowly walked in, moving with small steps towards the bed.

"Hello, Victor. I'm Jake. I'm sorry to disturb.." Jake looked down at Victor. His eyes were missing.

"Yeah, he can't hear you." Enoch said. Enoch got on his knees and opened Victor's shirt and put the heart he held down into Victor's chest. Jake saw how Victor's chest started to heavy. Almost like a jump scare in movies, Victor sat up and looked over at Jake.

"Hello, Jake. I'm Victor. Do you want to know what killed me?" Almost like a puppet he was. It scared Jake and he ran out of the room, downstairs where Miss Peregrine and the rest of the children were waiting.

"Ah, there you are. Is Enoch with you? It'd time for our daily walk." Miss Peregrine said.

***

Alma walked into the room where Victor lay. Sighing once seeing Victor's covers down. She pulled them up, making sure they covered him and slowly sat down. Noticing the tear falling down his cheek. Softly wiping it away and pulling him up and held him against her chest.

One of the most disappointing things she'd ever done. How she couldn't be able to save Victor, how she'd let her poor child die. She never meant for him to die, she never meant for Bronwyn to lose her brother. Alma felt herself tear up.

"It's alright Alma, you did what you could and for that, Victor will forever be grateful."

She really wanted to believe those words. Oh, how hard life could be. She couldn't let herself to cry. She'd always say it was alright to cry, but Alma just couldn't. She slowly put Victor back in his place and looked at her watch. She had a few minutes before the children would be back, but she had to keep schedule.

Alma walked out of the room, closing the door. Walking down the hallway to the right and then further down that hallway and then into her own bedroom. Closing the door behind her, locking it. Just in case. She quickly walked over to the dressed against the wall, opened a drawer and pulled out a shirt that didn't belong to her.

Sticking her nose deep into the fabric, closing her eyes and breathing in the familiar sent. Holding onto the shirt tightly. Alma felt her eyes sting.

Why did life have to be so cruel? Why couldn't just one person live a life and be happy. Is it only fairytales that get their happy endings and not people in the real world? Was the 'perfect' life all just a big lie that you were told on the television outisde loops? Why couldn't you just live yourself in your dreams? Wouldn't life be so much better if you could? It would save all troubles from people.

Alma slowly sat down on the bed. Still holding the shirt tightly to her. Breathing in the sent again. Letting her eyes roll back for just a second. Accidentally losing herself in the sent. Letting a soft moan escape her mouth which caused her to blush. Hand covering her mouth as she blushed even more.

"My shirt hm?"

Alma turned around with a gasp. No one was there, she let out a sigh. Alma got up again, checked her clock and put the shirt back in the drawer and walked downstairs. Waiting for the children to arrive back home.

***

"Clarice, where was the loop again?"

"You can't be serious. We lived with Alma for years, you're married to her for gods sake!" Clarice sat down in the damp grass, crossing her arms. Letting out a huff.

"Awh, stop acting like a bloody kid! Maybe help me instead of acting like such a bloody moron!" Y/N answered to her sister.

She let out a huff and sat down on a rock. Y/N felt bad. She'd been gone 7 years too long and Alma probably thought she was dead. Just because her little sister didn't write as she used to. Y/N reaches into her pocket and pulled out a few photos. Photos she took, before she left.

Most were of Alma. It was one of the only times she'd let her time be taken from her. She missed the bird.

"Could you stop sobbing and perhaps do something to help? You cant stare at th-hey. Y/N. Was that Abe?"

Y/N looked up and saw nothing. She turned to her sister and hit the back of her head.

"Very funny."

***

The children were packing after they're realisation that they couldn't stay. As Alma had finally gotten the suitcase to close, thanks to the twins, the doorbell rang. How odd. She hadn't expected anyone. Alma walked up towards the door and opened the door and felt her whole body tense.

"Miss Peregrine, what a pleasure to meet you at last!"

Mr. Barron was holding his hand shaped knife against Jake's neck. Alma felt her breathing stop for only a second. What on earth was happening?!

"May we come in?"

Alma took a few steps back, letting him inside the house. Her children standing on the stairs.

"Children! Would you make your way down the stairs, please?" Mr. Barron shouted.

Alma raised her voice. "I give the orders in this house, Mr. Barron." Looking at him sternly.

"Not today. You should know that Jake has served his purpose. If you value his life, I suggest everyone does as they're told. Children!"

Alma raised her finger and shushed him. "No one tells my children what to do!" Alma turned around, a split of disgust in her expression. "Children, come down here, please." Her voice was strong but soft.

The children made their way slowly down the stairs.

"Miss Peregrine-"

"I thought I told you to be quiet." Alma snapped back at him. Giving him one of her famous death glares. She slowly made her way around again to look at her beautiful children. Knowing she might never see them again.

"Children, for Jake's safety, we're going to do what Mr. Barron asks. He wishes to take me with him to his rendezvous in Blackpool. So, for his protection, he'd like me to assume bird form, preferably caged. And he'd like you to make your way into a lockable room, such as the parlour." Alma turned her frame towards the parlour then back to her children before turning around to look at Mr. Barron.

"As he won't release Jake if he fears an attack could be mounted upon him once he loses his leverage. Correct, Mr. Barron?" Alma raised her chin, showing how she awfully despised him. Mr. Barron was at loss of words.

"You're sacrificing yourself and all of us, for Jake?"

Came behind her, Alma turned around and looked at Enoch.

"Me. Barrons travels with a Hollow, Enoch. Once it arrives here, we're all dead." She could almost feels Mr. Barron's wicked grin behind her. Alma saw Horace lean in to whisper something to Enoch but didn't bother to listen. It took everything not to shed a tear. She'd lost everything now. The woman she loved the most, her dear children. Everything.

She moved towards the parlours door and said her goodbye to each child that passed her, ending with a hug from Emma and the twins which made her she'd a tear. Once every child was inside the parlour, she grabbed the door handle to each door and took a deep breath and looked over her children.

"It's been my privilege, to care for you all. Goodbye my children."

Alma closed the doors and turned the lock and turned to face Barron, showing her anger through her tear stained cheeks. Taking steps forward.

"Now let him go."

"Oh, but the fun's just begun Alma." Barron let out a low chuckle.

"How dare you speak my name, filthy bastard." Alma tightened her tone. Growing more impatient by each second that passed.

Barron let out another chuckle, this time of surprise.

"My my, what words those pretty lips let out. Tell me, how's dear old Y/N doing?"

Alma clenched her jaw. Feeling as she might explode.

"How dare you speak her name?! How dare you come here, act like you own everything I have. You took her from me! How dare you mention anything of her's. I know what you did to her family, how her parents practically coward before you. On their knees begging to not die. Letting their dear children's lives pay their depth."

As Alma continued, Barron only chuckled. Jake was confused. Who was Y/N? What did this woman mean to Miss Peregrine?

"Technically I wasn't the one who sold her, her mother was. Her dear parents are still loyal to me as ever. I'd never gotten a chance to meet dear Y/N. So tell me, where is she?"

This time, it was Alma's time to be confused.

"What do you mean by that. No tricks Mr. Barron. I want the honest truth."

As he let Jake go, letting out a groan. "Listen, lady. I'd never meet her. If I had, do you think I'd be asking you? So come now Miss Peregrine. Where is she. Her mommy and daddy just wanna say hello."

Alma felt herself start to tremble. Y/N hadn't been in Barron's possession.

She'd spoken to Jake. Begging him to care of her children before turning into bird form. Flying into the cage. Leaving with Mr. Barron. If her dearest was really alive, she'd never see her again. Nor her beloved children.

***

"Emma, I have a question. Look-I know you don't answer them but it's about something Miss Peregrine said before she turned into a bird. Who's Y/N?"

Emma went quiet for a moment, not really wanting to speak. Jake let out a sigh and continued to talk.

"Mr. Barron said he'd never meet Y/N before. What does this mean-who is she?" Jake looked t Emma who's eyes looked at his. A slight tone of happiness appearing on her face.

"So, that means she could still possibly be alive." Emma's smile got bigger.

"Who is she? Is she another peculiar?" Jake was growing impatient.

Emma sighed. "Alright, if I tell you. Will you stop asking?"

Jake nodded his head and sat down and waited for Emma to speak.

"Y/N came to our home years ago, before Miss Peregrine had made the loop. She came with her sister Clarice. When they came they were both pretty young. I think Clarice was 15 and Y/N perhaps 20. I heard Miss Peregrine talk with them about what had happened to them. It wasn't really, nice."

Emma sat down herself and took a deep breath.

"Mr. Barron came to their house, in the middle of the night and killed their brother, well took his eyes. He was around 8. She talked about how their parents had sold them to Barron for their own safety. But before Barron could touch them they'd ran away. They'd taken the boat and arrived here."

Jake listened as she explained more about Y/Nk's past. But there was just one question bothering him.

"What about the ring on Miss Peregrine's finger?" Jake asked.

"Y/N and Miss Peregrine kinda fell for each other. A few years after the loop was created, they got married. Then again a few years later, perhaps 7 years ago. Both of them left, Y/N and her sister. But after two years they stopped writing back home. We heard nothing from them and since Barron wanted to recreate the experiment Miss Peregrine told you about.”

Jake nodded, shocked. He had nothing against the LGBT community but he’d never thought Miss Peregrine was a lesbian. Perhaps she wasn’t, maybe just fell for the one person she trusted most.

They went on, the plan to save Miss Peregrine.

***

“Clarice, fix it. Please. Something has happened.”

Y/N was panicking. The loop was gone, not a child in sight. Alma wasn’t here either. Clarice had the peculiarity of restoring time, she restored the loop. Made everything go back to normal. The house looked itself again but no child was there. What the hell happened. How long has the house been like this? Clarice was too busy walking to her room.

Y/N looked around, saw suitcases. Were they leaving? But why, and where? It felt strange being back in the house, but with everyone gone. Y/N walked around, touching the walls and everything. Y/N walked upstairs and into the bedroom she once shared with Alma and closed the door behind her. Alma’s perfume hitting her like a smack in the face. The scent of smoke, flowers.

She pulled open the drawer and pulled out one of the dark blue lacy nightgowns and spelled. Alma. Y/N looked out the window. It was dark and it was raining. Y/N loved the rain. She walked over to the window and sat down by the window and opened it to listen to the rain and felt herself drift off into sleep.

***

Alma opened the door and walked in. How in the hell was the house still standing? She hadn’t reset the loop. She was wet and she was tired and drained. She quickly walked into the bathroom connected to her room and took a warm, long and hot shower. She wrapped the towel around herself and stepped out. Looking in the drawer for her nightgown but it wasn’t there. Alma turned her head to the figure she saw sitting by the window and nearly had a heart attack.

She grabbed her pillow and hit Y/N with it multiple times.

“You reckless little-“

“Alma, hey! Stop hitting me!”

“I have every right to be angry at you! I thought you were dead. For 7 years you’ve been gone and then you stop writing?!”

Y/N could see Alma’s cheeks turning red from anger. She stepped forward, grabbing the pillow out of Alma’s hands and kissed her knuckles. Which made Alma shut up.

“Why’d you do that to me, to the children.” Alma’s voice was on breaking point.

Y/N looked up, into those blue eyes. “I never meant to. I forgot to write-“ Alma cut her off with a snort.

“Of course you did.” Alma took the nightgown from Y/N and dropped her towel and put it on. Feeling Y/N’s eyes on her. It made her shiver. Then she felt arms wrapped around her waist and a soft kiss on her right shoulder. “I’ve missed you. Please don’t leave again.” She felt Y/N shake her head and turned around in her arms and kissed her lover on the lips softly. Nearly losing herself in her lover’s lips. Laughing softly after feeling Y/N’s hands tickle her sides.

“I hate you.”

“You love me birdy.”

[mitamicah]

Spoilers from both Trollhunters the book and Trollhunters the series!

While reading the book I was really impressed with how many differences there were between the character so I have worked on giving my take on six characters from both media, book vs series, and how they differ from each other :3 

I should mention that while there was illustrations in the book I tried for the challenge not to copy those but follow along the describtions in the book - when possible - to give my own interpretation of the characters ^v^ 

Steve

First up we have Steve. Starting out as the stereotypical bully in both version their paths seperates quickly resulting in two different ending for the musuclar blond Jorgensen-Warner is the book version of Steve. Here's how he is described from our first encounter with him: "He was handsome but in the oddest way- He eyes were too small and his nose piggish: he had a ridiculous amount of hair and a couple of teeth that looked like fangs. Yet somehow in combination these features were sort of mesmerising. His unnatural muscular bulk and odd way of speaking -crisply, politely, as if he were a foreign student who had learned English in class - completed the strange package." page 21-22 For his outfit I went with the description of him on page 224 "[my clothes] ... didn't cast me in the best light when compared to Steve Jorgensen-Warner, who looked rather rakish in blue jeans and a shirt - definitely not a blouse - opened to the third button. He dribbled the ball casually with his left hand." The bold passages is added by me   This Steve is later revealed to be a changeling aka a troll   Before we go on: can any of you explain to me what a "ridiculous amount of hair" even means :'D? I had a lot of trouble with this prompt because isn't this so darn subjective :'D? and the official art look way less ridiculous than I'd figure it'll be :'D x'D Palchuk is the series version of Steve. His facial appearance being way less specific (I'd say he has normal sized eyes, a big roman nose and some more or less normal teeth) and his way of speaking is definitely not polite. Like book Steve, this Steve starts out with pushing smaller guys into lockerrooms yet after that he becomes way less of a terrifying bully and much more of a silly goose who brings a lot of the comic relief in my opinion Douxie says it best in Wizards when he calls Steve the "village idiot" x'D I do not recall seeing Steve being that sporty in the show, he is much more interested in becoming homecoming king  no basketballs around x'D While book Steve is revealed to be the enemy (a troll) series Steve joins the "good guys" creating the creepslayerz with the character Eli Pepperjack

Blinky

Blinky is just called Blinky in the book  Here's a bit of description of him "The third [troll] had scarlet eyes, eight of them on long stems. (...) The thing from my house glided toward me with a surprising grace for something with an indetermined number of legs, all of which were hidden behind a patched kilt scaled with layers of medals, prizes and trophies and award ribbons. An incalculable tangle of tentacles twined around one another as if dying to squeese something to death. As it passed the oven, the firelight revealed olive-green skin, reptilian texture, and lacquer of slime lubricating its undulating appendages Its moth a horizontal gash.. " The bold passages is added by me   So yeah this Blinky is quite something :'D I stopped caring to draw tentacles after a while but overall this was silly but fun to draw  since his teeth later is described as big as traffic cones I believe he must be very tall :'D Also he's close to blind   Has a bit of a dirty mouth but in a very "read" way if it makes sense :'D cannot seem to stop calling Jim dimwitted and tiny and Tobias big :'D Blinky's full name in the series is Blinkus Galadrigal  he has six eyes instead of eight and they are all working just fine, thank you very much x'D His tons of tentacles and legs has been replaced by four arms and two legs and while he is still olive-green he is now made of tone like texture just like the other trolls  the kilt turned into shorts and he is quite a bit smaller now not even as tall as Jim  He still has this very academic way of speaking yet he is way nicer to Jim calling him "Master Jim" instead of "the short one" x'D

ARRRGH!!!

Book ARRGHHH!!!s full name is Johannah Mmmm ARRRGH!!! and she is a pretty big deal warrior among the trolls in the book - she's so badass in fact Blinky has decided to call her by her last name to honor her for her deeds for trollkind   Here's a qoute from the book describing her appearance   "The goliath emerged from the tunnel as comfortably as a dog from a doghouse, coarse black fur pouring into the chamber before I could make out any actual arms or legs (...) Even beneath the fur I could see loops of muscles flexing. (...) ARRRGH!!! was built like a gorilla but three times larger: Two arms, two legs, and, thankfully, just two eyes. Horns, curled like those of a ram (...) The thing's orange eyes cast about with animal perceptiveness, and it used its snout and sniffed. Its jaws fell open to reveal a purple, slavering mouth armed with haphazard daggers of teeth." Page 75-76 The bold passages is added by me   (Also worth mentioning: the qoute is from before the protagonist knows of ARRRGH!!!'s gender which is why he calls her an 'it') At other times in the story we learn that ARRRGH! has quite scarred arms and really wishes for better tooth hygeine; so much so that Tobias actually end up making her a brace out of chicken wire :'D Idk I find it quite adorable :'D Now unto the serie's ARRRGH!!! - first up he is male, his name is Arghaumont and he is famous for another reason than Johannah: he was a general of Gunmar but retreated from the war making him a traitor to his people yet a hero for the good trolls in the series. Series ARRRGH!!! is likewise built like a gorilla but made of stone and having a mane long and green like it is moss  his horns is way smaller and less curvy and his teeth hygeine is never brought up  also his face is way less dog like x'D 

Tobias 

Book Tobias' full name is Tobias M. Dershowitz yet he is going by 'Tubby' or 'Tub'. Here is a describtion of him from the book: "You could call Tobias Dershowitz chubby, if you were being cute, or husky if you were being diplomatic. The fact is he was fat, and that was only the beginning of his problems. His hair was a thick, orange, out-of-control hedge. His face spilled over with the kind of freckles that make kids like Tub look like overgrown toddlers. Worst of all were his braces, marvels of modern torment: whips of stainless steel crisscrossing each tooth seperately and lashed to a dozen silver fasteners. The braces clicked so much when he spoke, you expected sparks. At least he was tall..." page 27 The bold passages is added by me   The outfit I went with is described on page 259 like this: "He stood in the driveway decked out in his best approximation of a ninja: black tennis shoes, black sweatpants, a black hoodie, a belt made from a red curtain sash, and an oversize fanny pack holding his gear (...) It was unfortunate that the fanny pack was lime green..." To describe Tub is a bit difficult because sadly he is not much in the story as I'd liked - mostly he is being quite serious and let us know he is not happy by being sidelined not speaking troll nor being invited on hunts which I completely understand tbh :'D What I do find interesting is how Tub and series Jim has seem to have switched roles a little bit: In the series Jim is the one giving a speech about how he is insecure about his place in life and how he wants more - in the book this is Tub in more than one occassion: "We have to accept who we are. And before you ask, I'll tell you. We're nobody. We have no life. We have nothing to look forward to. We're not special. I just want it to go away. All of it. The stupid being scared. Doesn't it seem we've been scared forever?" page 37 "Jim, you're wrong. We were meant to do this. This is exactly what we've been waiting for. They've chosen us. Of all people! Us! (...) Jesus, Jim, take a look at my life! You know what I'm worth! To anyone? Zero! Nothing! I'm a fat loser and will always be a fat loser. Until this. This is like a present. Full of, man, I don't know. Hope?..." page 196 (talking about trollhunting here btw) Oh yeah and book Tobias gets this badass scene where he uses his dentist's tool to kill trolls I loved that   Now series Tobias is way different :'D first up his name is Tobias Domzalski and his nicknames are Toby and Tobes. He is way shorter and has more neat hair (what is it with the series neating up the hair :'D? x'D). He also seems way cheerier and pretty happy with his place in life more or less  Unlike Tub, Toby is in it from the start being an important player in the story   He doesn't have the same drive to be something more than he is as Tub has instead Toby is going with the flow starting out quite afraid of everything troll and ended up being as brave as the rest of the team *tbh Jim's scared out of his wits too so they mimic each other x'D* Where Tub has dentist tools Toby gets a badass hammer so I'll say its an upgrade  

Claire

First off we have Claire Fontaine, a foreign student from no other than Scotland with a taste for military clothing and liqourice   Here's how she's described in the book   "She tucked her long dark hair behind her ear and left ir with an adorable smudge of white dust. I thought she was beautiful, though she wasn't in the classic sense. The popular girl would say she wasn't skinny enough. They would also point to the fact that she didn't wear makeup or do anything to tame that hair. And her clothes -well, what could be said about her clothes? Her boots were not sexy and knee-high: in fact, they were ankle-high and rubber-soled and looked picked from military surplus racks, an array of pea-green coats and multi-coloured slacks, all of which looked as if they'd been through actual World War II combat. And that beret she wore before and after school wasn't of the look-at-me-I'm Frensh variety: it was more in the style of I'm-going-to-invade-your-country-and-be-your-new-dictator. Only one thing didn't make sense: that bright pink, exceedingly girlish backpack that inexplicably hadn't one anti-establidh patch sewn onto it (...) Oh, I forgot to mention that Claire Fontain came from the UK. That's right- the girl had an accent. I think you are starting to get the picture." page 30-1 The bold passages is added by me It is hinted at that Claire is quite tall and a great deal taller than Jim (more when I get to him) and she is actually a whole year older than Jim since they both have birthday May 2 but Claire is 16 while Jim is 15  Since Trollhunters in this story is not a "protected title" (aka the chosen hero type) Claire ends up being one herself even though nobody even herself didn't know: AND. SHE. KICKS. BUTT! She's even better than the guy that had 40+ years experience so yeah safe to say she's badass :'D Even before that she has a hilarious scene calling out Steve in the wildest shitstorm of Scottish slang I lived for it x'D She's described quite a few times with lots of bracelets, sometimes made of wire so I gave her a bit of both   She's not really a part of the popular group but has her own thing going on   Now onto Claire Nuñez the series' version of this badass   Here Claire is hispanic and pretty much one of the most popular girls seen around  her style is way more ... I've called it punk rock in purple but Idk exactly what to call it x'D she's shorter than Jim and slimmer looking than her book counterpart   She enters the story not as a trollhunter but as a victim of having her brother stolen by changelings and as time progresses she becomes a fastlearning and quite competent sorcerer dealing in shadow magic   Unlike Fontaine, Nuñes is seen wearing make up, shorter hair with dye in it and hair clips instead of bracelets  

Jim 

First up we have book Jim. His full name is James Sturges Jr. and lives with his single parent, his dad, after his mother went away the day before his birthday in start May and never returned. Sturges Sr. had been traumatized loosing his brother to trolls although none of the characters didn't know this yet - only Senior had seen the creatures making him paranoid and in turn making Jim very embarrased about his father. At the same time Jim seems to honestly worry for his father and his behavior too makes Jim very cautious and fearful a character. Book Jim is pretty much a typical teenager for the most part  He is seen to be a tad clumsy and not exactly brave really. And the author's choice of basically not describing him anywhere made my job way harder trying to be book accurate :'D So I've mostly inspired him of the official illustrations in the book   Here's what I could find about our little trollhunter   First off: he's a short fellow  that is first mentioned on page 14; "Sunshine is important for growing boys." (...) "I am not growing" I took after my dad when it came to size and was still waiting for that growth spurt everyone kept raving about. "In fact I think I'm shrinking." This is brought up most of everything Jim through the movie from him not being able to reach a point of a chalkboard (page 32) to people's dissapointing sighs taking meassurements when he is chosen as Romeo (107) and him wearing super high heels for the same reason (224) but also Blinky directly calling him a "little fellow" (page 127) On page 27 we learn that he is getting a bruise on his chin after being slammed into his locker by Steve  Lockers he has been thrown into enough to have learned to open them on the inside :'D He is a skinny fella which Tobias so politely call "lack of muscletone" due to "glandular" at page 120 He is not very good at anything describing his room full of stuff from hobbies he tried and failed at (page 63) The longest describtion about his appearance is probably page 105: "I lowered my eyes and regarded the chewed, dirty fingernails holding my script, thes scuffed shoes on my feet, and realized that these were the symbols of my pityful life: worn-out, insignificant, ready to be thrown beneath Dad's industrial mower" It pretty much says it all when this is the longest quite I could find :'D For the outfit I mostly went by the small describtion on page 89-90: "I tucked the medallion beneath my shirt. After a full day of wearing it, maybe the rest of the suffocating fear would go away too. My plan was to dart into the kitchen, grab my sweatshirt and be out of the house. " I added jeans since he is said to wear jeans on page 283 - the medallion sneak out beneath the sweatshirt/shirt on page 97 which is why I added it on top here as well   Now since there's a bit more to both versions of Jim due to their role as the protagonist I've added in a little extra features here being the medallion in the book vs the amulet in the series and the weaponry given to the characters   For Sturges we have the medallion who's described like this: "It was a bronze medallion conntected to a rusty chain. It was engraved with a foreboding crest: a hideous, snarling face; indecipherable markings of a sevage language, and a magnificent long-sword across the bottom." page 9 The medallion is treated like it is a common artefact if a bit rare in the book - its purpose is to translate trollspeak for the wearer. Jim is giving two swords in the book; a rusty longsword he calls Clairesword (do I need to explain this one?) and a cutlass he calls Cat #6 after the one cat at Tobias' house that liked Jim  x'D For Sturges' personality my feeling about him is that he is a bit more ... passive than his series counterpart. He is not really standing up for himself that much and would rather blend into the background. This qoute from Claire sums him up pretty nicely I believe   "You're a good person, Mr. Sturges. A bit gloomy, but good" page 246 I do like that Jim in this version is a Taurus  (I am a taurus too x'D) born on May 2nd so that's a plus   It is probably also worth mentioning that in this world trollhunters aren't a chosen hero type like in the series: trollhunters or paladin was once a title held by many warriors yet now there's very few left. Sturges was a proud paladin family making Jim a chosen candidate for the honor of becoming a trollhunter but he is not the only one - or even the best - in the book. In fact out of the three trollhunters we learn about I'll say Jim is the weakest (and he is not even the least trained; ouch :'D) Jim doesn't get a nice armour like his series counterpart either but is seen in the illustrations wearing a blue hoodie (like the one in the little doodle)   The full name of Jim in the series is James Lake Jr. He is the child of a single parent and lives with his mother whom Jim "mothers a lot" (Tobias' words in the first episode) This Jim is pretty "tall for his age" (Jim's own words uttered quite a few times across all three series) yet with quite skinny legs (he is called out for this by multiple characters). He is much more competent in life than his book counterpart being an exceptional cook, good at Spanish, seemingly alright in PE and at school he seems to stand pretty good if only holding himself back. Unlike book Jim, series Jim seems much more active and longing to be something more than he is - he is seen to be quite brave and protective of his friends, very kind and selfless. Also even from the start he seems much more nimble than his book counterpart being able to climb the robe (a feat book Jim didn't do before later) and with his training as trollhunter he becomes even more badass   Trollhunter status in the series is way more important since the title is given to only one chosen warrior of Merlin chosen by the amulet of daylight (the medallion in the book). This also makes the amulet way more special and important in the series which probably explains its shine up from rusty bronze thing to silver and blue. While Lake Jr doesn't have named sword he does have a magical armour and sword made of daylight   We do not know the exact birthday of Lake Jr but the creators have replied to a fanquestion saying it would be around fall especially October so by that estimate Jim is probably a scorpio  pretty far from the before mentioned taurus in the book   While Jim Lake Jr isn't seen with long lasting bruises in the original series he does get two more permanent scars in Wizards  

[penaltbox]

tell me what you want - jack ahcan/roman ahcan

i really hope you guy like this!! thank you to my anon for this amazing idea. if you like it let me know! i’m really interested to see what people favorite parts are. let me know what you think!

word count: ~11k

__

You swallow hard and look over your shoulder again, feet dangling above the water over Prior Lake. You grip the edge of the dock as you mumble just loud enough for your best friend to hear you, “he’s doing it again.”

Claire’s head whips around as she practically drops her sandwich into the water, food muffling her fiery response, “I’ll rip his dick off, I swear. Just give me the word.”

You laugh at her crude phrase but she knows you’d never give her the go ahead. She knew about the ups and downs though that your relationship had been through in the short time you two had been together. Roman had a hard time adjusting to the dating life whereas you went in full force. Opposite ends of the spectrum for very opposite people. 

“We’re not beating anyone up today. Plus, I don’t think Brock would appreciate you seriously maiming someone on his property. Not the way to get a date with him, I’m guessing.”

Claire’s cheeks redden despite the slight sunburn they had and she knows she’s caught, “who said I wanted a date with Boeser? He’s gone half the year anyways.”

You smirk as you nudge her immediately, “you’re such a liar! You cry about how much you love him every time you get drunk and any time we’re here late at night you sit right by him. You two drunkenly flirt more than my boyfriend and I flirt period.”

“Yeah, well maybe if you’d dated the right Ahcan brother then we’d both be happily taken by now.”

Your jaw drops but your argument gets stuck in your throat. She gives you a look that dares you to tell her she’s wrong but you can’t. Jack was taken when you started dating Roman though so the opportunity wasn’t even there. Nowadays though… you let yourself look over at the aforementioned boy and watch as he laughs easily with Brock and a couple of their other friends. 

Your own cheeks burn hot when he glances over and catches you staring, but he only offers a smirk in return. He looks for a second longer than he probably should, but eventually turns back to his own conversation. The little uptick in his smile let’s you know he’s aware you’re embarrassed and he loved every second of it. 

“What the hell was that?” Claire asks, flicking your shoulder, “I was just kidding when I said it, but what the hell was that?”

“I… I have no clue. That’s never happened before,” you whisper, voice too stuck to say it any louder. 

You turn around again and face the lake. You needed to brush it off. He was your boyfriend’s brother and that was a serious no fly zone. Even if he was more mature and nicer than the one you called your own.

—

“Why are you mad now?” You ask, rubbing your hand on your face. 

You’re aware of how defensive your stance is but you really don’t care. You’re leaned back against the counters in Brock’s house, arms crossed over your chest, and staring down the boy standing across the island from you. You had no idea why he had an attitude and you really weren’t in the mood. He’d been difficult all day and you just wanted to relax. 

“Why am I mad? You’re kidding, right? You don’t pay attention at all. I’m glad you live in such a daydream while I’m out here trying to be social and explain to people why my girlfriend doesn’t even hang out with me at my own brother’s house,” he explains, or so he thinks. 

You scoff and look away from him, trying to keep your patience, “you’re mad because I didn’t follow you around like a puppy today? Is that seriously what this is about? And I’d be willing to bet no one asked you why I’m not hanging off you at every minute of the day.”

He jaw clenches as he realizes you’ve caught the embellishment in his story, “you hardly said a word to me.”

“The street goes both ways, Roman.”

He knows he has no upper hand and shakes his head, coming around island suddenly. You’re not sure what he’s going to do, but he moves toward you and opens the fridge to grab another drink. He looks like he’s about to say something as he closes the door but opts for a kiss to the side of your head before making his way to the backyard again. It was always a whirlwind with him. 

You sigh, closing your eyes and letting your head drop forward. You were pretty sure dating wasn’t supposed to be this tiring, but you didn’t really have much reference either other than a high school boyfriend who broke up with you because you were “too much smarter than him”. 

The sliding door opens again and you look up quickly, trying to pull yourself together. No one needed to know how often you and Ro fought. Jack happens to be stepping in and he gives you a soft smile, taking in your demeanor immediately. 

“You okay? You look a little upset.”

He realized it far sooner than his brother ever could and something about that makes your heart stutter for a second. You shrug though, trying to play things off. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Maybe a little too much sun today but I’ll be alright,” you smile, watching as he makes his way to the fridge like his brother had just done. 

“Did you need another drink? Water, white claw?” He pops his head back out, noticing you didn’t have anything in hand. Of course he was nice enough to offer and think of someone other than just himself. 

“I’d love a white claw,” you nod, pushing off the counter and dropping the black cloud Roman had left over your head. Lake days were short enough and you weren’t spending any more of this one moping around because of what he’d said. 

Jack hands you a drink, grabbing his own and squeezing by you. Except there was plenty of room and he easily could have gone around the island the way he’d come from. He lets his hand brush your hip with a whispered “excuse me” as he retraces his steps towards the door. He slides it back open but looks over at you again. 

“I’m guessing my brother’s the reason you’re all holed up in here. I know he’s an ass, but try and shake it off. We all know you’re a good girl who tries hard in that relationship. Now, you coming along? We just got the fire going.”

You shiver a little at the phrase he calls you but you pray he didn’t notice it. You do note that he always seemed to have endless patience and you wonder if he took it all when he was born and left none for his younger brother. 

You smile as you sneak by him but he politely keeps his hands to himself this time. You find yourself wishing he wouldn’t though and mentally scold yourself. The bonfire is double what it had been and you stop two steps out onto the deck. 

Jack’s hand finds the small of your back as he leans down near your ear, “come on, if he’s a dick then you can just hang out with me.”

You look at him skeptically, not sure why he wanted to hang out with you so much suddenly, so the bold part of you questions it, “are you sure? I don’t want you to have to worry about me all night.” 

He smiles and holds up his pinky, “yes, I’ll even pinky promise. Just shoot me a look and you’re all mine for the rest of the night.”

“Okay, I can do that. Thanks, Jack,” you smile back at him finally and head towards the bonfire, spotting your boyfriend. 

He has a slightly sour look on his face as he stares at the fire from where he’s standing. His words from earlier bounce in your head so you make your way over, wrapping your arm around his waist and taking the spot next to him. 

“Sorry for blowing up in there,” he mumbles, wrapping an arm tight around your shoulders. 

You lean your head against him and stare at the fire, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time, “it’s okay.”

But was it? You find yourself thinking it over, tossing the words he'd said and the past fights he’d picked around until it all jumbled together. He shifts after a couple minutes and you’re brought back to reality, only to find yourself locking eyes across the flames with Jack. 

He raises his eyebrows, a question for you, but you give him a soft smile in return. You were good… for now. It doesn’t stop him from constantly glancing over and checking in the rest of the night though. You were glad someone was at least. 

—

You luckily never needed that pinky promise rescue from Jack and Roman seemed to mellow out after that for a couple weeks. 

It was deep in the heart of summer now and the days were as long as you could possibly stretch them. Your tan was darker, your hair lighter, and you didn’t want anything dragging you down. Going to the bar for the night seemed like a great idea so you’d agreed easily. 

Getting ready was easy. Meeting Roman at his house and talking with his mom for so long that you were almost late getting to Brock and Jack’s place to all leave at the same time was easy. It all seemed like the night would go by easily and you’d have plenty of fun. 

You just didn’t expect to have such an easy and fun night with the person you ended up with. 

You’re glad you didn’t have to drive and you take a deep breath before the group of you enter the bar. Roman had seemed to shift into party mode in the car and you know that means he’ll be out all night. You see an opportunity right before you though. 

“Jack!” You call him, watching as he turns around with a smile. 

“Yes?”

You try to bite back your smile as you hold your hand out in front of you, pinky first. He laughs and wraps his finger around yours, turning and pulling you along the sidewalk behind him. You giggle a little and fall into step next to him, letting go first. 

“Yeah, I got you. Just give me the look,” he reminds you, reaching forward and holding the door open, “ladies first.”

“Thank you,” you say, blushing a bit for reasons you’re completely unaware of as you duck into the bar. 

It’s not a bad night by any means. Everyone is in a good mood and getting along, but you manage to get tired quickly. Your stomach rumbling is the final straw and you turn to your boyfriend, lacing your fingers in his to get his attention. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, leaning closer so he can hear whatever you’re about to say. 

“I’m hungry. Can we leave?” You pout a little, hoping it’ll win him over easily. 

He groans, giving you a glimpse at the attitude he’d dropped the last couple weeks, “I really wasn’t ready yet. We haven’t been here that long.”

“They don’t have food though…”

“So why didn’t you eat before we left then? You knew we were going out tonight,” he says, looking at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

You’re about to plead your case again when you look across the group and catch Jack’s attention. The lightbulb seems to go off then and your eyes go wide. You nod slightly towards his brother and he moves quickly, heading your way. 

“Never mind, I’ll make Jack take me.”

Roman laughs but it’s cut short when his brother steps in front of him, giving a quick punch to his shoulder. 

“You two behaving over here?” Jack asks, having no clue what you’d just said to Roman. 

“I’m hungry,” you blurt out, “and someone isn’t ready to leave.” 

“I can take you. I’m not really feeling it tonight anyways,” Jack shrugs, looking to his younger brother for permission. 

Roman’s eyebrows furrow a bit but sending you with someone he trusted probably wasn’t the worst idea, “yeah whatever. We’re staying at your place tonight anyways so we’ll end up in the same spot.”

“Have fun, okay?” You turn Roman towards you, leaning up to kiss him quickly. 

Jack looks away as you do, not wanting to see it for some reason that night. He finishes the last sip of his water you had no clue he had and sets the cup on the high top table next to him. Roman hands you off to his brother but not before giving you a quick slap on the ass. 

“Not in public,” Jack corrects him, pushing Roman square in the chest gently. 

The younger boy lets out a laugh and swats his brother’s hand away, “she doesn’t mind it.”

You bite your tongue over how wrong he is and push Jack’s arm until he starts moving towards the door, looking back at Roman as you do, “I’ll see you later. Try and behave please.”

He throws a wink your way and let’s you go without even thinking twice. You’re glad you thought to make that deal with Jack before walking in and you’re equally thankful that he could tell you needed help when you did. 

“Where to? What are you hungry for?” He asks, grabbing his keys from his pocket, but opening your door for you. 

You’re happily surprised by his action but you slip into the front seat regardless. He makes his way around and takes the driver's seat, giving you an expectant look. 

“I have no clue, Jack. Just pick somewhere,” you giggle, buckling up and settling into the seat. 

“Taco Bell it is,” he smiles as he puts the car into drive. 

You gasp a little, excited that he picked there of all places. You take advantage of being the front passenger and lean forward, turning the radio on to a low volume. The music floats through the space and makes you feel more calm than you have been in a while. 

You glance over at Jack, “can we all go skating this summer? I know it’s a weird time to go but I haven’t skated with you guys since we were kids.”

Jack smiles over at you, his heart thumping from the innocent question, “yeah of course we can. Brock has some extra ice time at one of the rinks by my parent’s place.”

You sit back, happy and a little buzzed, feeling on top of the world. Jack drives smoothly and you try not to watch his arm flex as he turns the wheel with one hand. 

The night is almost too easy after you leave the bar. Jack doesn’t force conversation and you’re surprisingly happy to just hang out with him whether you’re talking or not. He refuses to let you pay for your food and when he parks the car, the two of you end up talking for hours after. 

You both end up having to sneak back into Brock’s house, but luckily for you Roman never wakes up when you slip into bed that night. 

—

You kick yourself the next morning, wondering why you were wide awake at 8am. You’d only gotten five hours of sleep, if you were lucky, but somehow your body decided that was enough. You sigh and slip out from under the covers, tossing your hair in a bun before heading for the kitchen. You were well versed in where Brock kept the coffee. 

You quietly make your way to the kitchen but you’re greeted with the smell of freshly brewed coffee and your boyfriend's brother in nothing but shorts and a sleepy smile. You suck in a breath and offer a smile back, heading right for the coffee pot he was standing near. 

“Good morning,” Jack mumbles, his voice sounding as sleepy as he looked. He runs a hand through his hair quickly but it does him no good. 

You laugh quietly, pulling a mug out of the cupboard and filling it up, “morning, sleepy head. You sure you’re ready to be up?”

He lets out a little giggle that makes you turn and look at him. It was so unguarded and cute that you don’t even stop yourself from trying to block it out of your memory. You want to remember that one. 

“I’m not sure why I’m up so early but if I am then coffee and dock fishing it is.”

You nod, not the least bit surprised at his plans, but you can appreciate the simplicity of them in the early morning hours. The fridge holds the coffee creamer you loved and you wonder if Brock even realized it when he bought it now or if it was just habit. Regardless you put some in your cup, knowing Jack was watching your every move. 

“Jack,” you say suddenly, a little smirk dancing across your lips as he looks at you with raised eyebrows, “I’ve been meaning to ask you this. I heard Roman used to always beat you in skating races. Is that true?”

He’s just about to take a sip from his mug when you ask but he hesitates, shooting you a wicked grin, “he’s a liar. He didn’t always beat me.”

“Oh, not always?” You tease, not sure where the tone even comes from, but you like it. 

He matches the energy easily though, quipping back, “I’m older though so I’m better… at everything.”

Your brain blanks for a second but the way he looks at you pulls a thousand thoughts forward at once. You blush instantly, turning your attention to your coffee mug that suddenly had the most interesting design on it. 

“Can dish it but can’t take it, huh? I see how it goes,” he nods, finishing his drink before you’d even taken a sip of yours. His comment strikes the competitive side in you quickly. 

“Oh I can take it,” you say, blushing all over again as you hear the phrase come tumbling out of your mouth, “Uhm, I mean… just stop giving me that look! You know what I meant!” 

He shrugs, trying to bite back the smile that was on his face, “hey, you started this. I just came through to finish it.”

Your jaw drops a little, ready to argue, but you’re not in time. He rinses his mug and sets it to the side. He keeps his eye on you as he heads for the back door, giving you one last big smirk before leaving you alone to watch him through the window as he heads for the dock. 

You realize it sounds like a stupid scene out of a movie. You’re standing there, sipping coffee, watching a cute boy through the window, and having thoughts that you probably shouldn’t about him. A creak on the stairs brings you back to earth as your boyfriend’s arms wrap around you. 

“Hi, beautiful. How’s your morning?” 

—

You couldn’t lie and say you’d been on your game since that morning in the kitchen with Jack. He’d shook you up somehow after that but what was worse is that he seemed to be keeping to himself any time you were around. You couldn’t help but wonder if you’d done something wrong but Roman was making up for it at least. 

A knock on your apartment door gets your attention a week after the “kitchen talk” as you’d dubbed it to your friends. Claire had all but lost her mind over the story and you had to reel her back in, begging her not to say a word to Brock. 

Opening the door gives you a happy surprise when you find Roman on the other side with flowers and a coffee. You can’t help but smile at him and lean in to kiss him quickly. 

“What’s all this for?” You ask, taking both things and heading for your kitchen. 

He follows along, looking incredibly proud of himself, “you just have seemed off so I was hoping it might boost your mood a little.”

It’s a sweet gesture and you’re thankful that he still notices how you’re feeling even though the two of you had some bumps along the way lately. You set everything down without even bothering to grab a vase, opting to turn around and give him a big hug, wrapping your arms right around his neck. 

He squeezes back, rubbing a hand up and down your back. You let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding and lay your head on his shoulder. 

“I did need this. Thank you,” you say quietly as he sways the two of you back and forth. 

He kisses your shoulder and keeps you close, “how was food with my brother the other night? I thought I heard you two in the kitchen the next morning.”

You’re glad you aren’t looking at him because your eyes go wide at what he must have heard, “oh, it was good. We got Taco Bell so I was pretty happy after that. He was up in the morning though, yeah.”

“I’m glad you two get along. I know he’s still figuring out how to be single again so sorry if he’s been bugging you lately. I don’t blame him for wanting to hang with you.”

You press your forehead against his shoulder, rethinking a lot of the time you’d spent with Jack lately. He was just trying to replace the whole his ex left. He had no real interest in you and you needed to remember that. 

“He’s a cool guy. I don’t mind having him around,” you pull back, giving Roman a smile to let him know things were all good. 

“Why don’t we just hang out here today? My plans are clear for you today,” he suggests, leaning down to kiss you. 

You agree, knowing it was probably best to spend some time with your own boyfriend rather than his brother for once. 

“Oh, we’re going ice skating tomorrow night by the way. Jack said you suggested it or something.”

You freeze, realizing that you had indeed asked. You just hadn’t expected him to remember or deliver on that promise. And just like that, you know you’ll have to play it cool again around him. 

—

You had less than 24 hours to mentally prepare yourself to skate with the guys. You knew you couldn’t ignore Jack, and you really had no reason to, but you were nervous about seeing him again for some reason. You had been so distracted in fact that while you were cutting up chicken for your lunch earlier in the day you’d cut your finger bad enough to need a pretty decent sized bandaid right on your pointer finger. 

You realize what a pain in the ass that is as you’re sitting on the bench at the rink, trying to lace up your skates and struggling with it. Roman had slipped his skates on quickly and you usually had no problem doing the same. Your finger hurt though and the bandaid kept getting caught up with the laces, causing your patience to start wearing thin. You’re ready to give up on it all when a familiar body sits next to you and pats your knee. 

“Put it on my leg,” he says, seeing the struggle you were going through. 

You look over at him and duck your head out of embarrassment, “I can tie my own skates. I’m just having some trouble.”

Jack laughs a little, grabbing your pant leg and pulling your leg over his thigh, “I know you can tie your own skates but it’s okay to ask for help every now and then too.”

You can’t even argue with that, opting to watch his hands quickly work your laces into place. You bite your lip, trying to pull your mind out of the gutter, but it doesn’t work very well. He finishes one skate and has the second one done sooner than you’d have liked it. 

“You ready to get out there? I haven’t seen you skate in years,” he smiles as he stands, grabbing his gloves and stick from the bench. 

“I’ve still got it,” you smile, picking up your own equipment and following him out onto the clean ice. 

Not two strides out there and Roman stops hard in front of you, hitting you with enough of a snow shower to coat part of your pants. You look up, ready to smack him, but his brother beats you to it. 

“Are you five years old again?” Jack reprimands, “give the girl a second to get her feet beneath her before you start acting like a jerk.”

You can’t help but laugh, covering your mouth and looking away. You’d never heard Jack talk to him like that and even Roman has a shocked look on his face. 

“Don't agree with him!” Roman pouts at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and giving you a fake headlock. 

You giggle, pushing him off and jokingly hiding behind Jack, “no way! At this rate you’re going to end up checking me into the end boards.”

Roman shakes his head as Jack lets out the same laugh you’d heard in the kitchen that may or may not be on a small loop in your head some days. You peak around Jack, knowing Roman wouldn’t do anything. You’re met with his smirk and his next words make your heart skip a little. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know you like Jack better than me so you’re just using him as your defense. Don’t be mad if I score on you guys later though,” he shrugs and turns to skate off. 

Jack turns to look at you and you just know your face tells the little scare you’d just had. He gives you a matching look and shakes his head a little. 

“He’s just kidding. We’re good,” he tries to reassure you but it does the complete opposite. 

He skates off then and you’re left standing at the blue line wondering what the hell he meant when he said you two were good. Good about what? You two hadn’t done anything wrong technically. You take a deep breath and start to skate, knowing you had to play it off. Things were fine. 

—

“My team sucked, it’s not my fault!” Roman complains as he tosses his stuff in the trunk of Brock’s car. 

You put your own stuff in after, reaching for his hand when yours are free, “it’s okay, Ro, we can’t all be winners.”

He turns and meets your grin with a tiny one of his own, “oh you’re all full of trouble today aren’t you?” 

You nod and lean up to kiss him quickly. The little skate had turned into a competitive pick up game that had you all exhausted afterwards. Brock invited everyone over after and you jumped on the opportunity. 

“You love it when I’m like this,” you mumble, leaning against him. 

“Hey, don’t be gross in the parking lot,” Brock calls, “get in the car, kids.”

You blush at getting caught and climb in the backseat quickly. Jack turns around from the front seat and gives you a look you can’t quite place, but it makes you squirm a little. Roman is quick to put a hand over on your thigh once he gets in and you lace your fingers with his to try and ground yourself again. 

The ride back feels like a blur but you suddenly remember what you’d packed in your bag. You tap the back of Roman’s hand and wait for him to turn his attention to you. 

“Can we do a face mask when we get back?” You ask, knowing he probably won’t but it was worth a shot. 

He makes a face, “do I have to? They feel weird.”

You’d maybe scarred him last time when you’d used a not so great charcoal mask and it had stuck to the end of his eyebrow pretty bad. You get his hesitation on it. 

“It’s a different kind this time! It won’t hurt.”

He curls his lip up a little, still not believing you. You’re about to plead your case one more time when Jack turns around. 

“I’ll do it.”

“Oh thank god,” Roman sighs, giving you a bashful smile. 

“Deal. I just don’t want to do it alone,” you smile at him, thinking it would be just fine. 

And it is. Until Brock suggests a late night fishing venture and Roman jumps all over it. Jack is two seconds from agreeing when you stop in your tracks halfway up the front steps, realizing they’d be leaving you instead of joining your impromptu spa night. 

“You guys are fishing?” You ask quietly. 

They all turn towards you and the three of them deflate when they see how sad you look. Immediately they all start talking at once, apologizing, suggesting that you do it a different night, and more that you can’t even make out as they all try and talk at once. 

“I’ll stay,” Jack says, his phrase breaking through the most. Brock and Roman stop and look over at him. 

“Are you sure, dude? We can just hang back tomorrow night and do that,” Roman reasons with him, knowing he loved fishing more than anything. 

Jack nods, seeming sure of his decision, “yeah that’s okay. I said I would so I’ll stay back and do it.”

You can’t help but smile at the fact he’s willing to keep up his end of the deal. Brock turns and keeps heading into the house, still keeping his plan of fishing. Jack follows as well, but Roman holds back. He comes back down two steps until he’s even with you. 

“You sure you want to stay here with Jack and do that? I can do it tomorrow if you want to wait,” he offers, his hand grabbing your waist. His expression is soft, letting you know he actually would if you wanted to the next day but you’re just in the mood for it. 

“I’d rather do it tonight, if you don’t mind. Especially after getting all sweaty from skating,” you shrug a little, hoping he’s okay with it. 

He nods and kisses your forehead, “if it makes you happy then go for it. If he complains that he didn’t get to fish enough once summer is over though we’re blaming you.”

You laugh, knowing Jack would end up saying that even if he went every single day. You’d accept that blame for one night of staying in and decompressing. 

With that, Roman heads into the house, making his way to Brock’s side as a small cooler gets packed for the two of them. You toss a couple waters in when they’re not paying attention, knowing they’ll want them eventually. 

A quick kiss and a ‘be careful’ leaves you alone with Jack one more time. The kitchen was quickly becoming the spot you two had the most alone time and something about that feels too homey. 

“You ready for this?” You ask, turning and looking at him. 

He smiles and nods, “ready as I’ll ever be. I haven’t done one before.”

“Oh even better then! Come on.”

You make your way up the stairs, Jack following closely behind you and grabbing your bathroom bag from the spare room. Like a puppy, he follows you through the rooms and halls, leaning against the door frame when you finally put your stuff on the bathroom counter. He watches carefully as you pull out the masks, eyeing it up. 

“Do you want to watch me do it first?” You meet his eyes through the mirror, suddenly very aware at how closely he was watching your every move. 

He nods, taking a couple steps closer and looking over your shoulder as you open the container up. He frowns when he sees the color of it, making you laugh right away. 

“Don’t make that face already. You haven’t even felt it,” you gently elbow his side and he moves out of the way, standing behind you instead. 

You look up and catch his smile in the mirror. He looks too cute as he stands closer than you thought and you feel yourself blush suddenly. You pull some of the face mask from the jar and apply it evenly on your own face. You finish it in no time and Jack makes an unsure noise behind you. 

“What if I mess it up?” He asks, his face pinched with confusion, “you were so fast with it.”

You laugh and turn around towards him, “it’s not hard. You just have to get it even.”

“I don’t think I can do it.”

“Do you want me to do it for you?”

He nods quickly and you shake your head. Maybe he and his brother weren’t so different. You motion towards the toilet, knowing it would be easier to apply if he sat. 

“Okay, no fidgeting,” you tell him quietly, pulling the jar over with you and putting some on your fingers. 

He gives you a nervous look as you step between his legs to put it on him. He blinks hard and starts leaning back immediately, making you start to laugh. You move quickly, putting some across his cheek, but it doesn’t go as planned. He jerks back, yelling about it being cold, and you reach for him immediately. 

“Why is it cold?” He bellows, only stopping after you’d smeared some of the mask in his hair. 

“Jack, don’t! Just sit still! Now you got it in your hair.”

“Get it out! No wonder Roman didn’t want to do this,” he whines. 

You put your clean hand on the back of his neck and pull him back closer, “just trust me okay. It won’t hurt you.”

He takes a deep breath and looks up at you, leaning forward. You leave your hand on the back of his neck just in case he decides to flinch again. He seems to relax after a second as he lets his eyes close. He seems to subconsciously lean back into your hand, but not to pull away. You realize you’re standing much closer than you’d expected to and you’re suddenly grateful that you’re in an empty house together. 

“You’re all set,” you whisper, “well except the stuff in your hair.”

“Will you get it out?” He mumbles, eyes fluttering open as he looks up at you. 

Your breath catches in your throat, a nod the only answer you can give him. You step away to grab a washcloth and find yourself looking back at him right away. His eyes follow your moves again, but the silence is comfortable. You wet the cloth, making sure the water was warm, and step back over to him. 

“Why does it feel tight?” He asks, frowning a little. 

“Don't frown. You’ll make it crack,” you put a finger under his chin and tip his face up towards you. 

You start to wipe the spot near his temple that had gotten the mask on it and it cleans off easily. You almost step away from him but you hesitate for some reason and turn your attention to him then. He’s staring back and it makes your stomach flip a couple times. 

“Jack…” you whisper, the air starting to feel heavy. You couldn’t do this. You knew your feelings were fading fast for his brother but you couldn’t just jump over the way you wished you could. 

“I know.” 

It’s the only explanation he offers but it sets your mood at ease. He gives you a tiny smile and pushes you back a step, hands on your hips, and stands up. 

“Now how long does this stay on? It feels like cement,” he jokes, turning to face the mirror. He leans in and starts poking at his face, earning a smack on the shoulder from you. 

“Don’t pick at it.”

He turns and looks at the shoulder you’d just hit and then at you, “my goodness, you’re bossy today.”

He smiles immediately, ruining the mask and reaching up to scratch his cheek right away. You roll your eyes playfully, handing him the rag you’d already wet. 

“You can take it off, you big cry baby,” you tease, watching him start to clean his face. 

He gets it mostly cleaned and starts to rinse his hands off but he suddenly smirks at you as he catches your eye in the mirror. You frown for a second, confused about his sudden demeanor change. He turns suddenly and throws half a handful of water at you, splashing you right on the front of your shirt. 

You let out a surprised shriek, jumping from the shock. He starts to laugh hard and you realize he’s distracted enough for you to step in and throw water at him. It hits him and he realizes what you’ve done, reaching to do the same again but you grab his wrist and try to pull him back. 

“Don’t you dare!” You laugh, trying to push him away from the water. 

He’s bigger and stronger though so he uses his other hand to reach around you on the opposite side, this time only flinging a little up towards your face. You squeal and try to duck away but quickly realize he’s got you backed against his chest and you’re stuck. You’re both laughing so hard you can barely stand and when you look at him in the mirror you realize what the two of you were doing. 

You slowly loosen your grip around his wrist and clear your throat, “truce, okay? I need to clean my face off.”

He sees your mood shift and steps back with a nod, “I’m, uh, I’ll be downstairs if you want to hang out. It’s getting kind of late though so I might head to bed soon.”

“Okay,” you say quietly, letting his wrist go when he steps back.

You watch him hang his head as he leaves the bathroom and you grip the counter. You were being irresponsible around him and you couldn’t risk getting caught by Roman. You have to check yourself before you got yourself in trouble. 

You clean up in the bathroom, wiping the counter off from all the water you’d flung around and heading back to the room you’d share with Roman that night. You’re up all the way until he comes back, smiling when he crawls in next to you. He immediately curls up around you and you have to swallow hard. 

He wasn’t always a bad boyfriend and you’d been friends for a long time before you dated. You may not see eye to eye every day but you didn’t want to hurt him ever. Especially not when it was his brother who was involved. 

—

“Are you sure you want to go over to their place tonight?” You tease Roman as he lays on you, head resting on your stomach as you play with his hair. 

You hadn’t been back to Jack and Brock’s in two weeks and summer was quickly drawing to a close. You only had about a month left and it felt like you’d blinked and time disappeared. You wanted to go, but you were hesitant too. Especially after last time you’d been there. 

“Yes, my brother gave me shit for being holed up with you for the last couple weeks. He said I need to share,” he laughs, likely not thinking twice about the comment Jack had made. 

You nod to yourself, glad he wasn’t looking at you, “I’m okay with going if you want.”

He leans up then and gives you the same trouble maker smirk that made you fall for him in the first place, “you just want to see Brock’s dogs, huh?”

You laugh,your heart having skipped for a second at who he was going to say, “of course I do. They’re the cutest boys I know.”

He shakes his head and you hope he can’t tell how quickly you’d almost panicked over the possibility of him bringing his brother up again. He leans up and kisses you, surprising you with how gentle it was. He usually wasn’t much for romantics in the middle of the day but apparently this was an exception. 

“Let me grab a different shirt and we can go,” he kisses your cheek quickly and pushes himself off the bed. 

You’re almost mad at yourself for how quickly your brain gets scrambled at the thought of Jack. You get up and head to the bathroom to fix your hair while simultaneously hyping yourself up for the night ahead. 

You find yourself 3 drinks deep some odd hours later when a chill runs through your body. You shiver immediately, despite being in front of a bonfire, and the cold seeps in through the long sleeve shirt you’d worn. You didn’t think it was supposed to get cold but apparently the weather had other ideas. Go figure in Minnesota. 

“Ro?” You ask, gently grabbing his forearm to interrupt his conversation with Jack. 

“Hmm?”

“I’m cold and I forgot a coat,” you frown, crossing your arms and rubbing them for emphasis. 

He shrugs slowly, nodding his head towards the fire, “I don’t know what to tell you. Stand closer I guess.”

“You ass,” Jack smacks his shoulder, “You better be nicer or I’ll tell mom. Come on, we can go get you one.”

Roman scoffs, “you better not! It’s not even that cold out.”

You hesitantly start to follow Jack as he makes his way towards the house, shaking his head as he goes. He was obviously annoyed with Roman, that much you could tell. You weren’t sure if it was your best idea to go in alone with him after last time but you figured this was a tight timeline kind of situation. 

Jack is surprisingly quiet the entire way up to his room, but he opens the closet and steps in, motioning at the hangers, “whatever one you like. Most of them are from St. Cloud though.”

You smile and start to look through the row of sweatshirts, well aware his eyes were on you. You can feel the blush that starts to dust your cheeks and you can’t help but glance over at him. He smiles as soon as you do and finally looks away. 

“Do you have a preference on it? I don’t want to take one you really love.”

“No preference. I know how to get it back if I need to,” he smirks, making you take a deep breath and turn back to the fabric that was still in your hand. 

You tug the sleeve farther to get a view and realize it’s one from Providence this year. Something about it with his number on the chest stands out and you pull it out. 

“This is okay?”

“I think it’ll look great on you.”

You slip the black sweatshirt over your head and you’re immediately washed over with warmth. You dig your hands into the front pouch and smile at Jack, knowing it was probably two sizes too big on you. He can’t help but smile softly at you in his clothes. He had to look away to remember you still very much weren’t his. 

“Don't let Roman give you shit for it either. I’m still telling our mom what he said to you,” he elbows your gently as he walks by. He knows not to spend too much time there with you. He knew better but he was only human. 

You snort, “she’s gonna rip him a new one. She always does when he’s mean to me.”

“We all like you a lot,” he looks back at you, his words saying more than he initially spoke, but you hear it loud and clear. 

You nod, reaching forward silently right before he hits the top of the stairs. He glances down and sees, extending his hand and grabbing yours. He squeezes tight and makes his way down to the first floor. As he hits the last stairs he lets your hand go and you ball your hand into a fist instantly. It was over sooner than you wanted it to be. 

He opens the door for you as always and follows an extra half step behind you. You find Roman quickly and he looks guilty for a moment before he sees what you’re wearing. 

“I’m sorry about before. I’m definitely going to start bringing a sweatshirt though wherever we go. You don’t look good in his number,” he scowls, but reaches for your hand. 

You take his but quickly find yourself comparing it to the boy who’d just held it inside. You kick yourself and tuck in closer to Roman’s side. You couldn’t keep playing these games. You had to make your mind up soon. 

—

The bonfire was fun, both you and Roman ending up in a game of beer pong later that had you drinking more than you’d planned, so bed was a welcome sight the night before. You’d pulled your clothes off and stole the shirt he kept tucked in a drawer in the spare room you always stayed in, not thinking about it at all. 

You wake up far too early, as always, the next morning and immediately crave a cup of coffee. You were already thinking about taking the dogs down to the dock with you to enjoy it and you happily head downstairs, not even considering the fact you had no pants on. 

The sight you find in the kitchen makes you freeze, almost running right back up the stairs, but he looks up at you just in time. His eyes widen a little but respectfully looks up at you. You can’t even force a word from your mouth before he’s sliding a cup of coffee onto the island. 

“I made coffee. Here,” he smiles softly, watching as you make your way closer to him. 

You peak over the rim of the mug and see the color of it. A little creamer just the way you liked it. You give him a soft smile immediately. No one but your mom ever knew how you liked your coffee. Sure, Roman knew your Starbucks order, but the way you took it at home in the quiet morning hours meant way more to you than one store bought version ever would. 

“Thank you. I really appreciate it,” you pick up the warm mug and take a sip. It was perfect, possibly even better than when you did it, and you let out a sigh right after. 

Jack can’t help but watch. You look so content and happy, even with your hair a mess and a smudge of mascara under your eye from the night before. He wasn’t sure when he became so interested in you’d but it had hit him like a tidal wave the night before. Apparently seeing you in his clothes really got him thinking. He squints a little at the shirt you’re wearing and smirks when he realizes what one it is. 

You hardly notice, too lost in how good your coffee is, so you hop up onto the counter next to where he’s standing and squeeze his face gently, his smirk turning to pursed lips with the tiniest smile on them. 

“This coffee is amazing. Thank you,” you smile at him, finally a little taller than him for once. 

“You already said that,” he laughs, pulling back from your hand and stepping in front of you. 

You don’t know why you do it but you let him step between your legs, making room for him to get closer. He sets his own mug on the counter before taking yours from you and placing it next to his. You’re silently thankful because the last thing you needed was to drop hot coffee on the two of you. 

His hands come to rest on each side of your thighs, his right hand rotating in until his fingers are gently dancing up and down your bare skin. Goosebumps break out immediately and you bite your lip to stay quiet. 

“You know whose shirt that is right?” He asks, his voice so low you can barely hear him even with how close you two are. 

His hand stops as his thumb rubs deeper circles into your skin and you have to grab his shoulders for support. The air is so charged you feel like you could snap with one wrong movement. 

“It’s Roman’s,” you whisper, wondering why he was asking. 

He shakes his head just the slightest bit, “no, we both played for Cedar Rapids. That’s mine.”

You frown, not believing him. How would he know it’s his when there was no way to tell? He can tell you’re unsure so he makes the move on his own accord. His slips his hand from the spot it had been massaging on your thigh up your side and under your shirt. 

“Jack,” you gasp, hands quickly moving to squeeze his biceps. 

He lets out a low chuckle and grabs the tag inside the shirt. He flips the shirt up, exposing half your side and tugs the tag out to see. There, in black sharpie ink, is a little J. You stare at it hard, suddenly feeling like you’d done something very wrong. Technically you had been for the past month or so when you started letting him in your thoughts so much but now it was heavier, more real. 

“We can’t…” you mumble, looking at him again. 

His hand lets go of the tag and settles back on your bare side under the shirt, “I know, but answer this truthfully. Do you really like him? Does he treat you the way you want to be treated?”

“We’ve grown up together. I know him so well. I know your family so well. He and I were just easy to start.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Do you really like him? Because I know you’ve only been together three months but has it been worth it?”

The way he’s looking at you makes you feel oddly calm. You know no matter what you tell him he’ll respect your decision. He won’t ever push farther than you’re comfortable. You take a deep breath and answer him the right way. 

“I think I liked the excitement of having him at first, but I don’t think he and I are right for each other,” you admit, pulling your hands from him and tangling them on your lap. 

Jack nods, pulling his hands back and gripping the counter, “it’s up to you then what happens next. I’ll never be mad at you either way so don’t worry about me. Do what you have to.”

“Thank you,” you say for the thousandth time that morning, but you really did mean it. 

He leans forward and kisses your forehead, all the air seemingly leaving your lungs at once. It’s so gentle you barely feel it but it burns your skin at the same time. A good burn, you decide. You cup his cheek when he pulls back, running your thumb gently across his skin. 

“Are you hanging out here today? I think we’re having another bonfire,” he leans into your hand, the soft smile on his face seemingly permanent. 

You shake your head, “your brother comes first tonight. He wanted a movie night.”

The words seem to shock Jack for some reason and he stands up fully, taking a step back, “I gotcha. Hopefully you come back around soon then.”

You slide off the counter, shorter than him all over again, and reach for your coffee mug, “I’m going to refill this and take Coolie down to the dock with me.”

You glance towards the living room and see the pup lift his head from the plush bed he was laying on. Jack looks over too and laughs a little. 

“We know who the favorites are here, huh?” He calls the dog who quickly scurries over. 

You refill your cup while he pets Coolie, smiling when you glance over at them. You’re struck with an odd sense of comfort from it and you give yourself an extra moment to watch. You don’t hesitate too long though, tossing a goodbye over your shoulder and leaving Jack in the one place that always led to trouble between you two. 

Jack hardly has a moment to breathe before Roman comes pounding down the stairs, a grin on his face. He didn’t hear a thing luckily, Jack can tell that much. Roman looks out the window above the sink, seeing you heading across the yard. He smiles a little and turns to Jack. 

“Did you ever think we’d end up together?” He asks, genuinely wanting his brother’s input. 

Jack winces, shrugging a little, “not really. We’ve all known each other so long and you two are so opposite. 

Roman nods, looking back out at you again, “yeah that’s fair. I feel like she’s been off the last couple months though.”

“She seems fine to me,” Jack defends you, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“I’m sure you’d know all about that. You’ve been hanging off her side all summer. Listen, I know you haven’t been single in a while but you don’t have to hang out with my girlfriend all the time.”

“Maybe if you treated her better she’d hang out with you more than me,” Jack argues back, kicking himself as soon as the words slip out. 

Roman’s jaw tenses for a moment, “you don’t know anything about how I treat her or our relationship.”

“I know a hell of a lot more than you think.”

He’s surprisingly calm as he says it, so much so that Roman even hesitates to think about it. Jack had been the one in a long term relationship and Roman usually talked to girls for a bit and moved on. He files that away for a different time to ask you how you felt about it. 

“I don’t want to sound like a dick,” Jack mumbles, “I hope that doesn’t come across wrong. You know you're my brother and I’d do anything for you.”

Roman nods, knowing he’d only said it with everyone’s best interest in mind, “no, you’re right I think. As much as I hate to admit that.”

Jack smiles at him finally and pushes his shoulder. Roman shrugs it off but knows what he needs to do before your movie night later that day. 

—

You should feel cozy. You’ve got comfy clothes on, you’re under a blanket on your own couch, and there’s a movie queued up and ready to play. Except Roman can’t seem to sit down and he’s all keyed up. You feel the emotions rolling off him and finally you snap. 

“Would you sit down? Or at least tell me what’s got you all worked up?” You sit forward, reaching for his hand. 

He looks over at you, seeming shy suddenly, “do you think I treat you okay?”

“Uhm,” you stutter, instantly taken off guard by his question. You think for a moment, trying to get your thoughts in order before you follow up, “what makes you think you don’t?”

“I was just thinking about it earlier today. You’d call me out on it if I wasn’t, right?” 

You nod slowly, “I mean I think so? It’s kind of an awkward thing to bring up to someone but I’d let you know.”

“Okay, good. You deserve to be happy so I want you to be treated well.”

You smile, feeling a little at ease when he finally sits down next to you. You settle into his side for the movie but your brain is spinning in overdrive. You’d heard murmurs from Jack when Roman does something to you that he doesn’t fully agree with. He wouldn’t have said anything though, would he? A week ago you would have said no way, but after the kitchen incident that morning… you weren’t sure of anything now other than the way your heart had flipped from Jack’s touch. 

—

The movie night ran so long that you and Roman ended up sleeping on the couch. The only reason you get up that morning rather than staying nestled in his arms is the fact you need a bathroom break immediately after waking. You’re careful to untangle from him and before you go back, you start a pot of coffee. It was better when you woke up to someone having it ready for you, but you were independent. You could do this. 

You end up staring at the pot as it brews, jumping when Roman comes behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. 

“I’m sorry,” he laughs, kissing your shoulder. 

You don’t put your hands over his arms like usual, but you do pat them for a second, “sorry, I was zoned out.”

“I see that. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“Too much,” you laugh, trying to play it cool. 

“You want to darty with some of the boys today?” He asks, letting you go and reaching for a cup to get water. 

“Not really,” you answer honestly, “I wanted to get some groceries and clean up around here.”

He frowns immediately, “why are you such a buzzkill? Why can’t we ever have fun?”

“Why do we always have to party, Ro? Why can’t we relax for one day? I can’t keep up with you,” you shake your head, instantly aggravated by his mood shift. 

You take a deep breath, finally losing your cool, “we haven’t even dated for three months, Roman, and all we’ve done is fight. What are we even together for if we can’t get along?”

You were tired of it. You were so tired of always fighting over differing opinions. You and Jack barely disagreed but his brother could hardly make it a week without an argument with you. Roman doesn’t expect the bluntness but he’d been asking himself the same thing lately.

“We do fight a lot, huh?” He sets the still empty glass down on the counter. 

You feel guilty then, knowing you shouldn’t have blown up like that, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore, “I’m sorry.”

He steps back over to you and turns you towards him, “no I’m sorry. I think we tried too hard to make this a thing when we should have just stayed friends.”

You nod, laughing a little, “of course the time we agree so easily is when we’re calling things off.”

Roman laughs too, shaking his head, “yeah, go figure. Is that what you want then? You want to go back to just friends?”

“I think it might be for the best. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, too.”

He pulls you into a big hug and you swear you couldn’t hold him any tighter. It’s an odd finish but you don’t feel any hard feelings from either side. He kisses the side of your head as he pulls away, giving you a gentle smile. 

“You know if you ever need anything to just call me, okay? I’m still here for you.”

“Thanks, Ro. Same for you,” you nod. 

He grabs the few things he had sitting around and slips his shoes on. An awkward wave is all he leaves you with and suddenly you’re all alone in your apartment, but you don’t feel alone. You feel an odd sense of calm instead as you go about your morning. You had no worries now. Well, none except for a certain brother of someone you’d just let walk out your door. 

—

You spend two weeks doing your own thing. Whatever you want, whenever you want, with whoever you want. You saw friends more that week than you had all summer and you were out to eat at least half the days of the week. You were having fun and enjoying the last little bit of time before summer ended and the real world set back in. 

You felt amazing from the reset. It’s not that Roman had suppressed you by any means, but there was something about knowing you wouldn’t be fighting with anyone that made your chest feel lighter. 

You’re happily cleaning up after dinner, singing along to the song that played through your speakers, when your phone buzzes on the counter. Your heart always stops for a second before you check the name. Part of you may have hoped it was Jack, but in the two weeks since you’d had your moment that changed things in the kitchen you hadn’t heard anything. You figured things only changed for you and not him. You were silly to think you could go from one brother to the next. 

Your friend had texted you about brunch the next day and you quickly tap a reply before skipping the current song you had on. You finish loading the dishwasher and dry your hands on a towel, looking around to make sure your kitchen was all cleaned up. 

You’re about to pour another glass of wine when a knock on the door gets your attention. You pause your music and check the peephole, quickly opening the door when you see who it is. 

“Jack?” You're surprised, shocked even, but he smiles like there’s not a problem in his world. 

“Hi, stranger. Haven’t heard from you in a while,” he answers. 

“What are you doing here?” You question, not having expected him, but realizing you wouldn’t have wanted to see anyone else standing where he was. 

“I just wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything wrong? I heard what happened.”

His question has you reaching for him and pulling him inside quicker than you have time to think, “What could you possibly have done? If anything you got me to hang on longer than I thought I would.”

His worried expression doesn’t drop when you pull him in and he’s quick to shut the door behind him. 

“Hang on longer? To what?” He asks, a little confused but also trying not to get too excited about how quickly you’d reached for him.

“If it weren’t for you, I maybe would’ve given up the fight a little sooner than I did. But you always see the good in people and it made me want to see the good in my relationship, but then I realized maybe I was hanging on for the wrong reasons… for the wrong brother. I wanted to keep my ties with you as much as I did him.”

Jack is shocked by what you say but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to hear it, “the wrong brother? That’s a big statement right there. Are you sure?”

The thought was scary and you had no clue what the fallout might be from it, but you knew you liked him. You liked being around him, spending time with him, and keeping each other company.

“I definitely picked the wrong brother I think,” you laugh nervously. 

He had every right to shoot you down. You had just broken up with his little brother after all. When you really thought about it, which you had been doing a lot lately, he was the one that was always looking out for you, making sure you were comfortable and happy, always someone who could make you laugh despite whatever had led to making you feel like you could cry. Jack knew the situation could be messy considering who you had just broken up with but he couldn’t deny that the way you fit in his life wasn’t something he was willing to give up.

He can’t help the little smile that comes onto his face even though you look so nervous you could cry, “I always knew Grant would win one of these days.” 

It’s so ridiculous that you do let out a couple tears but you’re laughing so hard you almost double over. Jack matches it, but starts to move a little closer until his hands find your hips. 

You take a deep breath and grab onto his arms, “would your mom hate me? I really miss her already.”

“I’m probably 99% sure my mom loves you more than any of her actual sons,” he shakes his head, but it wasn’t a lie. She thought the world of you, “you know she pulled me aside the other day after Roman told her about you guys. She said I needed to look out for you still.”

Your face shows the shock you feel but there’s something else with it too. A sense of excitement that you hadn’t messed up a major part of your life by dating a childhood friend and having it go wrong. 

“Oh she did?” You finally ask, smirking up at him. 

“That’s a troublemaker’s look if I’ve ever seen one from you. What are you thinking?” 

You shrug, but quickly look down at his lips before looking back up, “I can think of a few things.”

“I leave soon though. Two more weeks and I’m back to Providence,” he warns but neither of you pay attention to that. 

“Make it worth it then.”

“Oh I plan on it. Now we can actually do this without sneaking around in kitchens,” he smirks. 

You laugh and pull him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck, “no one I’d rather sneak around with.”

You knew it wasn’t ideal and you’d have to be careful with how fast things went but you knew he’d treat you the way you deserved. He’d always treat you better than anyone else. 

[hen-of-letters]

@spnprideweek day one: flags

This little ficlet for #spnprideweek is brought to you by my big, non-binary bisexual love for this beautiful fandom, and my desire to fix that moment in 'Baby' when Cas indulges Dean by saying "werepire", but Dean doesn't hear him and Cas doesn't know. It ended up getting a bit long, so there's more under the cut or over on AO3. Thanks!

Dean's at Pride, and feeling a rising level of discomfort.

It's not the fact that he's wearing eyeliner in public for the first time in his forty-two years. Hell, he'd been wanting to do that ever since he was a kid, dreaming of being a rock star. The covers of music magazines in gas station racks had been windows on a world free from the brutally narrow definition of what his Dad meant when he told him to "be a man". Gradually, though, he'd learned what is gloriously apparent today under the hot June sun: that there are as many ways of being a man as there are men.

It's not because the sleeveless white t-shirt he's wearing is somewhat snug. (The heat had made him shed his pink, purple and blue plaid shirt - the one he'd worn today because Claire always called it his 'bi flannel' - and tie it around his waist.) He and Cas are both wearing a little of their contentment on their waistlines these days, and he believes Cas when he says that he adores his body because he means it when he says the same to Cas.

It's not the big, heart-shaped sticker slapped on his chest, which is striped in the colours of the bisexual pride flag in a way that's much less subtle than the flannel. Dean's always known that he wasn't only into chicks, but putting a name to it is new. Dean's had jobs and Dean's had roles, but having an identity had always seemed like a luxury well beyond Dean's means. Now he's not constantly running for his life, though, he has the breathing room to figure himself out. And he's good with this part of himself. More than good.

It's not the two flags that are padding the pockets of his jeans. One, he'd bought for Cas: it's striped in pale pink, pale blue and white. Earlier, he'd gone with Cas when he'd met up with some friends he'd met online (having managed to get past all the cats this time). The ex-angel had found that discussing their experiences of being trans had helped him feel happy in the body that had become his own. Dean could only feel immense gratitude for the way Cas' face had lit up afterwards when he'd talked about how he was creating himself, becoming himself, and embracing the human condition of change.

Dean hopes that the gift of the trans pride flag will show Cas that Dean understands and loves him, and the same is true for the other flag, which he'd picked up for Jack. It's yellow, white, purple and black. Dean had had to do a little research when Jack had used the term non-binary - it's amazing how the world can move on while you're living in an underground bunker. He'd kept on researching, too, after he'd learned the basics. Maybe he was still figuring himself out. Maybe there was more to discover about himself, and wasn't that fantastic?

Jack is wandering around somewhere with Claire and Kaia. Jody and Donna are here, too, with Alex and Patience. Adam and Michael have probably partied their way through fifty international pride parades by now, but they should be meeting up with everyone else later. Sam and Eileen are not far away. Eileen was the one who's slapped the bi pride sticker on Dean's chest - with unnecessary force, if you asked Dean. She'd grinned at him, showed off the identical sticker on her own chest, and said, with a suitably cheesy wink, "we need to stick together". He remembered the moment he'd nervously asked her the sign for 'bisexual', and when she'd shown him - the letter signs for 'b' and 'i' - she'd added, "me too," and Dean had scooped her up into a crushing hug.His love for his family is endless, and them all being here is definitely not why he's uncomfortable.

And it's not the body glitter freckling his cheeks and his shoulders with gold, although his feelings might change by the time he tries to remove it tonight. He'd been gilded with it when he'd been dancing up a storm with a group of drag queens. They'd admired his eyeliner - a deep brown shot through with gold along his upper lashes - but winked and said it was "a little subtle for Pride". As soon as Dean had seen the tube of glitter, he'd yelled "hell yes!" and even managed to hold still long enough to be coated in the stuff before moving his body to the beat again. Although he's sure his feet will be aching later, so far his favourite cowboy boots are not the source of his discomfort.

It's not the bright pink feather boa, either, which he'd acquired from the same source as the glitter, when he'd been sent off with a kiss to the cheek and the words "be bold, honey!" He'd expected the boa to tickle or irritate, but for some bizarre reason the sensation of feathers around his shoulders and the back of his neck feels incredibly comforting and reassuring. He feels warm and safe and oh. Oh.

As that particular realisation sweeps over him, Dean tightens his hold on Cas. He's standing behind him with his right hand on Cas' hip, and his left arm is up over his shoulder and wrapped around his chest. His hand is splayed out, at once putting his silver wedding band on display and somehow attempting to conceal Cas from the eyes of his many admirers (and, well, good luck with that. Cas is incredibly beefy these days).

Which brings us to the source of Dean's discomfort; to the thing that's deepening the furrow in his brow and the dimples beside his pursed lips: namely, the sheer number of guys hitting on Cas.

It's not like Dean can blame them. Cas' muscular frame is wrapped in black jeans and a tight black t-shirt bearing the Led Zeppelin 1975 tour logo. The short sleeves show off the floral tattoos trailing down his left arm. Cas is wearing a rainbow-coloured enamel belt buckle and, because he's determined to be the death of Dean, black cowboy boots. Before they'd left, Dean hadn't been able to resist grabbing a black kohl pencil and smudging a little along Cas' upper and lower lashes. And, okay, maybe Cas' wide-eyed bewilderment every time he's flirted with is vaguely amusing. But when Dean is right here? Not cool.

Right on cue, here's another one. From over his husband's shoulder, Dean levels his very best glare at the guy. It's a look that can stop a demon dead in its tracks. A vampire would tremble. A werewolf would wet itself. But one young gay guy with a few drinks in him? Totally unaffected. Like the others, he's all smiles and understanding when Cas politely, if awkwardly, waves him away. (Literally. With a final dorky little wave goodbye.)

Dean realises that he's moved his right arm around Cas' waist, so now Dean is wrapped around Cas like some kind of koala/octopus hybrid. An octoala? A koctopus? Definitely koctopus. Heh.

Dean snorts at the thought, which is somewhat unfortunate, given that his face is right next to Cas' ear. Cas flinches and turns his head around to fix him in a squinty glare.

"Koctopus?" Dean says, apologetically.

Cas narrows his eyes further and tilts his head to the side.

"Um, the way I was wrapped around you. I was like a cross between a koala and an octopus."

Dean nudges Cas. "So what does that make me? C'mon, you know you wanna say it."

Cas just tilts his head a bit further to the side, either in confusion or outright despair. Dean has untangled himself from Cas and stepped back, and looks down at the ground, suddenly self-conscious.

Dean feels Cas' hand on his shoulder, and then it smooths over his back, finding the back of his neck underneath the boa. Whatever his shape, Cas' touch has the exact same effect on Dean. He looks up into the impossibly blue eyes of his husband.

"You're a very glittery," Cas begins, softly, "and very beautiful," one corner of his mouth lifts, and then he purses his lips together, trying to hold back the smile, "koctopus."

The corners of his eyes are crinkled. He's not amused by the joke, Dean knows, just absurdly pleased to be saying something he knows will make Dean happy. Of course Dean knows that Cas loves him, knows the whole cosmic-realm-crossing magnitude of it, but in little moments like this, he's floored by it. Dean can't help his sudden exhale or the massive grin that breaks across his face. He wraps his husband up in hug that they hold for a good long moment, before Dean leans back to kiss Cas.

No one had ever explained to Dean how difficult it is to kiss someone when you can't stop smiling. He'd never had that problem before Cas, but now it's practically a daily occurrence. It's a menace because kissing Cas is one of Dean's favourite pastimes. Now, they trade little pecks between wide, toothy grins, until passion takes over and the kisses become heavier.

It takes someone wolf-whistling for them to part, and then they're back to grinning and staring into each others' eyes, until Dean spots something on Cas' face. And something else. And something else. In fact, there's something all over Cas, and that something is gold glitter. It's on his face, his hands, his Zeppelin shirt, and even in his hair. Dean runs his fingers through the unruly curls - Cas has been wearing his hair longer lately - in an attempt to shake it out, but only deposits more glitter into Cas' locks.

"Oops," Dean says, "I kinda glitter bombed you there. It's all over your shirt, too. Sorry, Sunshine."

He doesn't sound terribly sorry.

"This is your shirt, Dean."

"Aw, man."

He does sound a little sorry now, but his future laundry woes are forgotten when Cas presses another kiss to his pouting lips. They're forgotten again when something across the crowd catches Dean's eye.

"Oooh," Dean exclaims as he drags Cas towards the stall he's spotted.

It's selling cowboy hats in every configuration of colour imaginable, and Dean is practically jumping on the spot excitement. Cas looks his husband up and down, slowly.

"You think your outfit's lacking accessories?" he deadpans.

"Yup," is Dean's gleeful reply, "and so's yours."

Cas' groan is lost to the noise of the crowd and the beat of the music, so no-one will ever know if it was one of protest or defeat. He does, in fact, end up wearing a black cowboy hat with a rainbow band, so if it was protest then it was highly ineffective. Dean's has a pink crown, purple band and blue brim, and he's carrying another black one with a band in the non-binary flag colours for Jack. Cas admits that Jack's going to love it.

"Damn, this is awesome," Dean says as they head back to meet up with the rest of their family.

Walking hand in hand with Cas, Dean's thoughts wander. Dean could kick his younger self for every time he'd called someone gay or a girl as a way of saying they were weak. Because all he can see in the people around him is strength. He grins again, giddy with the atmosphere of defiant joy. All around him is everything he'd spent his life fighting to protect: freedom, family, and love. Holding his husband's hand a little tighter, he's grateful that in the end he gets to have both: freedom and peace.

[freakynct]

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: piano teacher!xiaojun, slight age gap, exhibitionism, slight corruption kink, teasing, short smut scene

the warm summer breeze filled the room, contrasting with the cold material of the black piano where you now seated alongside your teacher, mr. dejun. you had felt acostumed to his presence, his strick way of teaching, his strong yet sweet cologne and especially his hand between your thighs. mr. dejun wasn't much older than you but old enough to freak out your parents if they ever found out about the filthy way he had been touching their precious daughter. he also had never allowed you to call him by his first name. ever. he was rather offended when you once asked if you may do it. it was a strange kind of relationship you two had but he never made you feel uncomfortable and he could teach you a lot more than boys your own age could, which you saw as a perk as you contemplated if you should or not continue this act with him.

he did enjoy touching you the most when your mom would decide to stick around the house during your lesson, for the piano was settled in the large living room of your house and he loved to delight himself on the nervous expression you had on your face whenever he did so. you guessed the thrill of it set him off and you found yourself getting both turned on and confused by it but you never questioned him.

today was no different. he had showed up with his usual white shirt and brown business bag under his arm, even though he didn't do much business, smiling warmly and speaking politely at your mom as if he didn't plan to touch her daughter over her white undies while she was distracted baking cookies in the kitchen; as he did right now.

it was hard to sit still or keep quiet while his long fingers wandered under your skirt and touched your most sensitive parts. you never understood how he was able to do that and still teach you 'clair de lune' at the same time, but you were impressed by his focus.

"can you play this part for me, please?" you noticed how he leaned over to whisper the words to you, your head getting dizzy as the smell of the cologne got stronger, or maybe it was just the overwhelming feeling of his digits slipping under your panties and rubbing firmly at your naked clit.

"i c-can't..." you struggled to say, your eyelids getting heavier with each circle at your bundle of nerves, and eventually they did close, your head involuntarily swinging to the side and landing on mr. dejun's shoulder as your hand caught his wrist, trying to unsuccessfully stop his movements.

"and why not?" he asked teasingly, not being able to hide the cheeky smirk that slowly took place on his lips; his hand caressing your hair gently as the other one still occupied itself in bringing you closer to your orgasm.

"it feels too good." your words came in the form of whimpers as you cried out for your release, grabbing harder at his wrist and arm and anything you could really get your hands on, since the burning feeling at your core now spread at an insanely fast pace through the rest of your body. but much to mr. dejun's amusement, your mom was quicker to interrupt the moment, walking into the room and consequently making him divert his hand from you, clearing his throat and pretending like everything was normal, leaving you to catch your breath and fix your skirt.

"i made cookies for both of you. i figured you might be hungry after all this time." she had the brightest smile as she set the tray over the piano and as both of you thanked her for it. "i will leave you two to finish then." she finally said after what felt like way too long without mr. dejun's touch. she walked off, back to clean the mess in the kitchen and to your surprise mr. dejun arranged the papers and sheets laying in front of you and stacked them inside his bag.

"what are you doing?" your voice betrayed you as you watched him gather his stuff.

"well, i think this was enough for today's lesson." the serious expression on his face brought rage to you, for he had left you desperate and without release.

"you can't go now. you have to finish what you started." you let your confidence get the best of you and even though your risky words could've land you a harsh punishment, mr. dejun just chuckled and waved his head as he got up.

"don't get too smart now. i will finish you when i think the time is right and since you didn't show me any type of progression when it comes to your piano lessons i don't see a reason why i should give you what you want." this left you speechless and you felt yourself fuming at his clever words. he always knew what to say and that annoyed you as well as it impressed you.

"you're mean sir, you know?" it was the best you could come up with, sounding more bratty than smart but your comeback amused mr. dejun, that rubbed his thumb over your warm cheek.

"no need to get all fussy. if you wait patiently like the good girl that i know you are, i shall give you exactly what you want. and i know that what you want isn't just my fingers." and with that said he simply left you to reflect on his words, grabbing his things and walking towards the entrance, turning back around one last time with a witty smirk. "and practice your piano please, i will test you on our next lesson." and there he went, straight out the door as you still sat there with your dirty thoughts and damped panties.

[thebrochtuarachs]

Something in the Rain - “Finding Solid Ground”

A/N:  Hi all! This chapter has been in the drafts for quite sometime now but I only had the time to pick up the writing. Thank you so much for your patience with my slow updates but rest assured, I absolutely love this story and daydream about the chapters ahead. As always, your comment and suggestions help a lot moving this story forward. Hope you all are keeping safe and healthy! Till the next one!

AO3  / C1: A Day In June : C2: Definitely, Maybe : C3: So We Meet Again : C4: Friday Lunch

XXXXX

She was 45 minutes late.

Claire was running as fast as she could, catching some curious eyes on her as she raced towards Mrs. Kim’s Korean Street Food Hub to hopefully, still catch Jamie for their lunch.

She got off from her morning surgery quite late due to some complications but she still went as courtesy and because, in all honesty, she still wanted to see him. Their last encounter kind of left them in an awkward place and she was hoping that this meeting could help clarify some things. She has been waiting for this all week but alas, life (and medicine) had other plans.

Claire entered the store and knew instantly that he wasn’t there. The place was empty after the lunch rush and she sighed in disappointment.

“Claire!” Mrs. Kim suddenly called out. “This is for you, left by your friend”, she said while handing her a piece of paper.

“Thank you” Claire replied, opening it on spot.

Hi Claire,

Sorry, I left before you arrived but I have to get back to the office. Don’t worry about the wait, I really don’t mind but I just have a packed schedule today.

Forgive me if this is too forward but here’s my number. No pressure! Just figured we can text or call whenever is a better time to catch up. Just hit me up when you feel like it and I’ll be on the other line.

I do hope to hear from you soon. If not, I’ll be here next Friday, same time :)

Jamie

Claire did not waste any more time and punched in Jamie’s mobile number to call. After three rings, he answered.

“Hello?”

“Jamie? It’s me, Claire.”

“Claire, hi! I see you got my note.”

“I did. I am so sorry. My surgery ran a little bit long and…”

“Don’t worry, I figured that must be it.” he said cheerfully, cutting her off before she went into a long explanation. “I mean, you save lives and all, couldn’t be angry about that.”

Claire sighed relief on the other line and couldn’t believe just how understanding he is. So understanding that she’s starting to wonder if he’s even real. She hasn't really met anyone that chivalrous and it captures her.

“Oh, wow. Thank you - and thank you for the note and your number. My guilt would’ve eaten me alive if I couldn’t apologize to you.”

“You don’t think it was too forward?”

“No, not at all. To be honest, I was going to ask it last week before we got, erm, interrupted.”

“Well, that’s good to know. And in any case, I would’ve given it.” Jamie said.

She could hear his smile from the other line and she couldn’t help but smile too.

“Anyhow,” Claire followed. “I am so sorry I missed you today. To make up for it, would you happen to be doing anything tomorrow?”

“Hmm, let me check." Jamie checked his board calendar. "Nope, my weekend is free. Anything you had in mind?”

“Well, if you’re up for it, I’d like to invite you to the center tomorrow, see what we’re doing with the kids. Fair warning though, they get a little rowdy sometimes.”

“I’m game! Text me the details and what time to meet you.”

“Really? Great! Sure, I’ll text you the details in a bit”

“Will wait for it. Claire, sorry to cut this short but I have to run to a meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Oh no, please. Go ahead. I’ll see you tomorrow, Alright, bye!”

-

It was a Saturday, two weeks since their encounter by the crossing, and now she’s waiting for him to arrive and bring him to one of the most special places for her.

Claire hadn’t absolutely thought through what inviting Jamie to the center would mean. Reflecting on yesterday, a part of Claire thought she may have panicked and this invite might’ve been a mistake. On another end was a part of her that was excited to see him and if she was really being honest, spend time with him, and show her the work they have been doing.

She had told her their meeting story and the extended invite to her friends and staff but left out the part about their lunches. She messaged the team on WhatsApp about their upcoming guest and her inbox has blown with messages asking her for more details about the man himself. She messaged that they’ll be able to find out for themselves tomorrow when they meet him and turned off her phone.

“Claire?” Deep in thought she hadn’t seen or hear Jamie arrive. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Spaced out there for a bit” she embarrassingly admitted.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Jamie asked as Claire pointed the way in.

“Erm, nothing much. Just thinking about giving you fair warning about everyone upstairs. They’re quite curious about you, Jamie Fraser.” she said jokingly the half truth.

Jamie got a bit nervous suddenly and Claire felt it. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll save you if they get too rowdy. Be ready to answer questions though." She said, smiling, hoping to ease his thoughts.

“Is any topic off limits? Should I not mention anything to them?”

“I leave it to you. But if you ask me, just be yourself and charm everyone away”

Jamie chuckled and Claire turned to him. “What?”

“You think I’m charming?”

Claire laughed and smacked him in the arm. “Oh, bug off!”

“I’ll take that as a yes”

“Anyway!” Claire interrupted. “Today’s event is just art and crafts and a story session. The rest, the kids can do and play how ever they like. I usually just play with any kid who asks me to and time just flies and suddenly, the afternoon is done.”

“Got it. I honestly hope I can help more than distract or whatever”

“Pssh, you’ll be fine, Jamie. You’ll be fine”

--

The moment the elevator doors opened, a line of people greeted Jamie and Claire at the entrance.

“Hello, everyone” Claire greeted but to her surprise, no one spoke or moved. Everyone was just looking at Jamie. “This is Jamie. Jamie Fraser, our guest for today”

She ushered them closer to the stunned group and began to introduce them one by one.

Mary, the receptionist and admin assistant.

Mrs. Graham, the secretariat and head of operations.

Joe, also a surgeon from Claire’s hospital.

Frank, the history professor he’d met a week earlier.

Geilis, a botanist and herbalist.

“It’s nice to meet you all. Thank you for having me this afternoon.” Jamie said and it was only then that the ice was broken.

“Hi, Jamie was it? Can I call you Jamie?” Mrs. Graham prodded.

“Yes, Mam”

“Alright, this way. Let me show you around”

As Mrs. Graham swept Jamie away for a short tour, the rest of the group crowded Claire with questions.

“Okay, he is even more handsome than in the pictures!” Geilis excitedly said.

“Pictures?” Claire asked.

“Ugh, I sometimes forget you’re a doctor who needs to catch up to the times” Geilis pinched her nose jokingly. “Jamie was named one of Scotland’s most eligible bachelors in a tatler magazine last year. There’s pretty striking photos of him in a tux and in casual clothes.”

“I remember that issue. Gail had one lying in the house and I happen to peruse it one time. You’re right, the pictures don’t do him justice.” Joe chimed in.

“I had no idea. I mean, I just literally bumped into the guy on the street!” Claire said, a curiosity pooling in her mind. She had to look for that magazine later.

“Such a meet-cute story. Ugh, Claire! It’s like something out of the books or movies” Geilis added.

“Psh, he seems too manly for me. I mean, who is that fit and that put together.” Frank mused.

“I think he’s quite charming” Joe added.

“If you ask me, Claire, I don’t know what’s going on between you two but keep it going” Geilis added.

“Aish, nothing is going on. I just extended a polite invite to make up for - “ Claire stopped as Jamie and Mrs. Graham arrived back, thankful for the Interruption.

“Make up for what?” Geilis asked, not missing that info.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Mhm” Geilis hummed raising an eyebrow to Claire. She’ll pull it out of her later.

---

It was a long but fun afternoon for everyone.

Afterwards, one by one, the space cleared out, the kids were picked up, saying goodbye to the staff with some even approaching and waving at Jamie as they left, leaving him with a heartwarming feeling.

“Well, another successful weekend, folks!” Frank called out and the team gave themselves applause.

“Great job to Joe and Mary for taking on the storytelling and painting sessions this afternoon and I would also like to thank our guest, Jamie, for being patient and helpful with the kids” Mrs. Graham added, earning another group applause.

“Thank ye, I hope I helped at all today but otherwise, I enjoyed today and thank ye for inviting me.” Jamie shared.

“Come join us anytime” Joe patted him on the back. “Alright, everyone, have a goodnight. See you all next week, I’ll bring Gail and Lenny along.” With that he made a way for the elevator and it was everyone’s cue to leave.

Claire approached Jamie just as he was going to her. “Well, how are you and how was it?” she asked. If she expected to spend time with Jamie, well, it didn’t happen. First, he was whisked away by Mrs. Graham. Afterwards, it was Joe asking help to build his set. Next up was Mary who got him assisting on getting and serving the food, and the rest of the time, it was kids calling out on Jamie here and there and he was more than happy to oblige.

“Fun and a little bit tiring” he replied and Claire gave a small laugh. “But in all honesty, thank ye for inviting me to come here. Made me miss my niece and nephew”

“I’m glad you had fun and I’m glad you got to see what we’re doing here.”

Jamie might be overthinking things but he knew that Claire sharing this part of her to him seems like a big thing and he intends to cherish that.

“Anyway, I’d like to offer to drive ye home...or to the nearest bus stop” he added, panicking he put her in a tight spot.

Claire paused, eyed him jokingly, intentionally making him more flush and nervous.

“I’d take that offer but” she began and Jamie swallowed the lump on his throat, “I actually live nearby so we don’t need to drive”

“Okay,” Jamie sighed in relief which Claire found very cute. “Lead the way, then”