#when i was sure who i am was beautiful

[oatbugs]

i should have never dated an iranian person like i told myself i would never do it bc it would be too much intensity all in one place and i was RIGHT now that i've experienced it (smn who can engage in poetry in a similar way, talk in the same language, making all the cultural stuff gay and hot, etc) i feel like without those aspects things will just be missing Something like from now on . idk . let's drink black tea w saffron and then make out . i've never celebrated the solar new year or leapt over a fire the wednesday before or read romantic hafez poetry w someone who loves me romantically and now i crave it . so much

[totheidiot]

i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.

[munamania]

also ok maybe had a weird little freak moment yesterday :/ i was with lydia and needed to eat my godawful shitass sushi before going to the library so anyway who do i spot but the roommate with some random guy naturally and im like lydia pause i need to be a stalker but so casually for just like a sec. (this is in a downstairs like cafe/hallway/elevators area) so i stall and then we go to check for a free room to sit in and when there r ppl in it we just go back near the cafe area and theyre over in this little. alcove. of a sitting area. lounging. and im so normal and rlly naturally glanced over a couple times hoping to god the guy didnt see me cause luckily roommate was faced away. anyway. but lydias screenaging it up so im just sitting there awkwardly. and i have to walk past them at one point to get soy sauce to drown the sushi in and maybe that made me look like a weird little stalker too. well again this is if the guy even knows who i am and prob not so whatever its like fine. but like yeah and then i def saw them getting up and then on the elevator to leave so i think my skittish little creature tendencies scared off the vibe from across the room even... and i didnt just wave like a normal person bc i wasnt sure they saw me but we've spotted each other at much greater distances there's simply no way. i was treating them like what the kids call an 'opp' kinda... me when im an anxious little beast...

[teledild0nix]

Yknow when you’re talking about some man to one of your straight friends and you offhandedly say he’s handsome (you’re in a generous mood or you want to be polite) and she makes a scrunched up disgusted face or laughs at you. LISTEN no!! I was being POLITE I am a LESBIAN I do not even know what you people are LOOKING for it is not fair for you to hold this against me!!!

[marshmallowprotection]

Okay so - Kait, please forgive me for this extremely cringe and just...'ugh, really? 🙄' request. ;;

...would Ray like a...let's say, who does very much not fit in to what's conventionally 'pretty'...?

I've always been a tomboy, through and through.

I've never even touched makeup, my skin isn't...great, and I've never worn a dress or skirt in my life.

...what would Ray think of that?! He certainly seems to like more...feminine girls.

...aaah ;;;

Ray, please like me! 😭😭😭

Hey, Anon.

Let's make one thing abundantly clear so you don't have to feel any self-doubt, Ray loves you no matter what. It doesn't matter what aesthetic you prefer to align yourself with when you choose what you like to wear or how you like to use style.

As long as you are the object of his affection, that's the only thing that matters to him. You mean the world to him because you are the person that you are. He is obsessed with you and only you. That means that it doesn't matter what you dress like, what you look like, or anything of that nature. You are already his idealized fantasy. 

You don't have to change anything about yourself nor do you have to fill a role to be the person he loves. He already wants you as you are so there's nothing you need to change or feel insecure about when it comes to your appearance, personality, or what have you. 

You don't need to change anything about yourself because he is already infatuated with the idea of you. 

He's been dreaming of the day that you could come into his life so he would finally know what it felt like the field desired by the object of his affection. You are the very reason he's been able to survive in hell for so long. He has been living in what is basically a stewing pit of Hell for God knows how long and the only thing that's helped him get through this suffering is the thought of knowing that one day you would be able to join him.

Then, it would no longer feel as though he's suffering because he would finally have the reward at the end of the line. Ray would be able to experience happiness at the Eternal party because you would be there with him and it would all be worth it. That's his goal.

The only thing you need to think about is how to convince him that you do like him as much as he likes you. However, I can see where you came to the conclusion that he might not be as obsessed with you as he might be with someone who loves to dress up!

Many of the people who like him in the fandom are people who love to play into his theatrics and love of fairy tales. Not everyone, but a decent chunk of people love the idea of being able to dress up and play the role of a princess or prince for Ray.

The reason why a lot of people play into this is that everybody understands that what Ray wants more than anything is to be able to live inside a fairytale where he is the prince that gets to whisk you away to happily ever after. You don't have to fit the conventional role of his love interest in that story aesthetically or whatever you think you need to fit to be his object of affection. This is more about him being able to fill the role that he wants more than anything.

This is about him being able to be your prince. It's honestly less about you being the princess/prince for him.

Don't get it twisted and don't feel insecure about yourself because you don't feel like you fit into a role that is staunchly more quote-un-quote, “feminine”, than you are comfortable with. You don't need to wear dresses or skirts, you don't need to have "flawless" skin, and you don't need to be something that you aren't.

What I mean by that is that you don't need to force yourself to be somebody else to be loved by somebody. If you are a lot more comfortable not bothering with makeup or frilly clothes, that’s fine! You don't have to be interested in those things nor do you need to use them to make him like you. He already likes you.

In fact, if you are trying to be something you aren't so you can feel affection from another person? That person isn't worthy of your time or care in the first place. The person who is the object of your affection should be somebody that loves you back without hesitation or contempt for things that make you— you. The person you're with should love you for who you are, not what you can be for them by erasing yourself. 

So, no, you don't need to be whatever you think you need to be to fit Ray’s “fantasy”. You don't need to be a princess or a prince to be the person he adores. All you need to do is be yourself. It doesn't matter who you are or how you appear, if you are his MC, then you are the most wonderful person he's ever seen in his life. Male, female, non-binary, or however you identify, Ray loves you just as much as you love him. Girly, tomboy, or whatever aesthetic you have, he loves you all the same.

Also, I hope you know that you do not have to be “conventionally attractive.” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because you don't fit some societal standard for what beauty is, doesn't mean that you aren't beautiful.

The idea of what is "beautiful" is constantly changing and it never stays the same. That's why you shouldn't hold yourself to standards because they never stay the same. All you need to focus on is being yourself and as long as you're happy with yourself, you will find somebody that understands you and cherishes you the way you deserve to be. 

Don't just apply this to this circumstance that you feel insecure about yourself when it comes to Ray.

Take that lesson to heart as somebody who has spent a long time unlearning what it means to be beautiful. Societal standards can really beat you down no matter how hard you try to like the person looking back at you in the mirror. Once you realize that the standard that everybody wants you to reach is not obtainable?

That's when you should focus on being yourself and enjoying Who You Are. It can take a long time to learn how to do that and I'm not saying it's the easiest thing you're ever going to challenge in your life. But, what I am saying is once you stop trying to feel like you need to be something you aren't, it feels like a weight leaves your chest and you can breathe.

None of us are ever going to fit what societal standards define as “beautiful.” You have to learn how to see the beauty in who you are. There's no right or wrong way to learn how to do that. Everybody has to take their own path when it comes to realizing that they don't need to try so hard to fit a bubble that isn't for them.

You don't need to change who you are to be loved. 

The people who really matter are going to be the people who love you as you are. 

[lycanthian]

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[criticalrolo]

most cringe fact about me: i am genuinely pretty jealous of how much fun a lot of people seem to be having with Gender and Presentation and experiencing gender euphoria and all that kind of stuff. I am genuinely really happy for them I just want in on that experience and for gender to be something Fun and Happy and Exciting to figure out instead of. the worst feeling in the world lmao

[oatbugs]

i think if i painted my ex situationship i'd be cured it's the most shallow but intense connection i've had w anyone i think i am so obsessed w how she looks i want 2 photograph her/paint her forever rant in tags but ive talked abt it b4 so feel free to ignore

[roaringroa]

to the beautiful girl dressed as juliet from the halloween party two days ago: i am still thinking about you

[thatone-highlighter]

What songs have u been thinking of adding to strengths playlist :0 [and the others if u have any you’ve been thinking of for them] Also you could make a streatney+ playlist, just sayin

I have been creating a list of Set It Off songs to put in here, and this is on top of the ones ive already added. I am also just now realising that even tho i associate the band in general with Strength the distribution of songs does Not favour Strength much if at all.

Theres a few of the songs where its just the general vibe or just so much of the song works its hard to pick one section, but i went and grabbed some of my fav sections

Peekaboo; like i mean it LITERALLY says this what do you want from me

Why Not Me?; it feels alot like things a Strength vessel would say. I especially like the bit about „a little voice is shouting get up“

Catch A Break; i mean isnt that such a Witney concept, shes put thru so much bullshit after bullshit and everyone is So mean to her Constantly. And „same tragedy different day“ thinking about Witney,,,, hhnnnggg

Playing With Bad Luck; a very similar idea to Catch A Break because the guy is literally the whole time just talking about how all this bad stuff keeps happening but hes done nothing to deserve any of it, which again, yeah. Man thinking about Witney makes me Feral

Unopened Windows; honestly a streartney song to me but i feel like Witney would be the most nostalgic about it like this. Like hes def the one to look back at it like what-could-have-been the most

Who‘s In Control?; it especially makes me think of Anne at her peak blaming herself for Heart and all that, like „living in fear living afraid/hysterical every day“ TELL me that doesnt remind u of Heart and Anne in ibybf

Me W/O You; it feels vaugely manipulative and vaugely genuine in a way i can only compare to Heart. Plus the whole „theres no me without us“ over-reliance and codependence feels very Heart as well

And i didnt add a part of the song because i cant EXPLAIN it but. Dancing With The Devil in my head just makes me think of Streart. imagining it as like the two of them alternating screaming the lines at eachother, they both see eachother as the counterpart in the song. And this song also lead me to for some reason learning how to draw partner dancing Just so i could draw streart partner dancing and then also went a bit insane about who would be lead dw about it

[officerdougeiffel]

pissed off at my friend again why do you gotta be such a bitch about what music I like

[bo0zey]

vegeterian corndogs and sausage on a stick u r my kryptonites

[spittingstar]

ytrytr

[hearties-circus]

Having s bit of a strange moment

[dangaer]

read the chapter 11 nightbringer spoilers and ... ah (cries into my hands repeatedly)

[blastburnt]

bathroom inspections