#when people were saying that Rafa was done

[antianakin]

MY STANCES ON CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTERS ARE AS FOLLOWS

Anakin Skywalker: This one's fairly obvious, but I'm one of the people who doesn't see Anakin as redeemed by the end of ROTJ just because he saved one person he personally gives a damn about. My definition of redemption is about atoning and making amends, and Anakin has no possible way of actually DOING THAT for most of the things he's done, so there's no real way of acquiring redemption. He can be a better person, he can be forgiven by individual people for things he's done to them, he can keep choosing to be selfless instead of selfish, but none of that necessarily means he has to be considered redeemed. If you think he's redeemed at the end of ROTJ and that's what brings you joy in your interpretation of the story, great, I honestly don't care. But if you choose to come into my notes and get mad at me because I don't think the space fascist is redeemed just because he decides to save his own son, you will now be blocked on sight, I'm done having that conversation with people.

The Jedi As A Whole: Wonderful people with a beautiful culture that never did a single thing to deserve what was done to them. They were not corrupt, they didn't need to reform their culture in a single way. There was nothing more they could've done for Anakin or the Republic that would've stopped what happened. They don't steal children, they adopt them from parents who choose to let their children lead a better life, and become part of the large extended Jedi family. They are intergalactic therapists whose literal way of life IS therapy for those who choose to follow it. They were outplayed, but they did everything they could've possibly done. Sometimes, it is possible to commit no mistakes, and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. (Side note here: This is an incredibly pro Jedi blog, if you come on my blog and criticize the Jedi in any way, you will be immediately blocked, I am so done with this fandom's anti-Jedi sentiments, consider this your warning.)

Padme Amidala: Deserved better from the Prequels, has such potential and promise and I want so dearly to save her from her toxic ass marriage to a fascist MAGA manchild, but damn am I glad Luke and Leia didn't have to grow up with her as a mother some days.

Bo-Katan Kryze: I wish I could like her, but the writers are making it SO HARD. They don't seem to ever remember that she gleefully set an entire village on fire because they dared ask for their enslaved people back and to not be occupied anymore, but I do.

Satine Kryze: I wish I could like her, but I don't have enough nostalgia for her to overlook how bad the writing is for her. She treats Obi-Wan like garbage, brings out the worst in him, acts very arrogantly about just about everything and never has to take responsibility for her own mistakes so she gets to die a martyr.

Aleksander Kallus: Literally has to have his ENTIRE BACKSTORY retconned so he can be "redeemed" within the span of one episode. Also manages to "All Lives Matter" Zeb into thinking that judging Imperials for their fascist choices is the same as judging an ENTIRE SPECIES on the actions of one individual who was acting in self-defense anyway. Stop saying he's got the best redemption arc in Star Wars, it sucks fucking ass and he's not a fucking Fulcrum, he just stole the title from Ahsoka and didn't earn it and he was a shit spy anyway.

Crosshair: Bigoted dickhead who treats everyone like complete crap and then goes full fascist as a punishment for the world when no one wants to risk their lives to save him. Let him die already, he's not worth saving.

Bode Akuna: Basically just Anakin lite and we all know how I feel about Anakin. No sob story justifies anything he's done and I didn't find him all that interesting or sympathetic, personally.

Rafa and Trace Martez: I actually loved them, I thought they had an interesting relationship with each other and with Ahsoka, I appreciated how different they felt and the arc Ahsoka goes on with them. I don't mind that they used them to showcase the rising anti-Jedi sentiment among the citizens of Coruscant, I just wish their opinions hadn't been presented as though they were right. I love that we see they've joined a rebellion of sorts post-Order 66 and I wish we'd gotten to see more of Trace, Rafa, and Rex working together rather than the absolute trashfire that we're actually getting on TBB.

Ahsoka Tano: Relationship status: It's complicated. I DO like her, generally, but I REALLY dislike the way she's constantly written in later stuff to be better than everyone else and to have basically zero flaws so that she can end up like a messiah or a goddess of light reborn or something. It's boring, it's annoying, and it just isn't any good. I particularly don't care for how she consistently gets utilized to bash the Jedi Order and absolve Anakin for all of his sins. Ahsoka deserves better, but I'm also immensely frustrated with where her story's taken her and the way fandom tends to treat her. We also just straight-up need more main female Jedi characters and as long as Ahsoka's around it feels like it'll never happen.

Sabine Wren: I love the Rebels version of her, but the Ahsoka show version sucks. I have decided it simply does not exist for Sabine. That isn't the real Sabine and it never will be. That's not Sabine's story, the real Sabine would never try to be a Jedi because quite simply she doesn't NEED to be. And the real Sabine would NEVER disrespect Ezra's sacrifice by undoing it and then leaving him to deal with the fallout. It's stupid, it's ugly, and Sabine deserved better.

Hera Syndulla: Much like Sabine, I love the Rebels version of her, but the Ahsoka version sucks. The Ahsoka version deserves to be kicked out of the army or whatever, she's a terrible mother and an even worse General and quite honestly not that great of a friend. The real Hera would NEVER act like orders didn't matter just because she doesn't like them or refuse to see the logic in letting go of Ezra after he's been missing for 10 years so that those resources can go to people who they can confirm are still alive.

Shin Hati: She's so so so boring. She has the personality of cardboard, it basically consists of "crazy eyes" and that's about it. She is pretty literally just Darth Maul but a girl. Like every single part of her character so far is indistinguishable from Maul aside from the cosmetic stuff. I hope she dies in season 2 and never gets a redemption arc. I'd say Sabine deserves better, but honestly Ahsoka!Sabine deserves her.

Grey Jedi: Stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen. Let Grey Jedi stay in fanon where it belongs, none of your faves are Grey Jedi in canon and they never will be.

[maggie32432]

A Family - Part 2 (Rafael Barba Imagine)

It's been three years since you last saw Rafael Barba. He returns for the Stabler case, seeing you again for the first time since he left abruptly, leaving the life you were building together behind. Little did he know...it's not just you now he left behind.

You unlock the door to your apartment, allowing Rafael and yourself in to see your babysitter waiting there on the couch. "Hi, Lizzie. How is she?" "In her crib. She's a little sleepy today," The younger girl smiles at the both of you, as the realization begins to dawn on Rafa. "You're good to go for the day. I'll see you tomorrow?" You ask and she nods with a smile while grabbing her bag.

"What-what is going on?" Rafael asks, tears already in his eyes. Lizzie exits the apartment and Rafael immediately sits down. "Rafa," "Were you- were you pregnant?" He asks with tears in his eyes, "Yes...I found out two days after you left,"

Before you can see his reaction, you go into the baby's room and grab her from her crib, letting her lay in your arms as you walk back out to see Rafa.

His jaw drops and eyes are wide as he sees her get carried into the room. Her big blue eyes open to look around and then look at Rafael. She has long brown hair and warm-colored skin. She looks just like him. "This is Lily. She is your daughter," You say, keeping your courage as much as you can as you stare this man down. Tears escape his eyes as he stands up, "She-she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," He says, lips curving into a smile, and that might just be enough to make your heart melt.

He surprises you by wrapping his arms around both you and your baby girl. The baby, of course, you expected him to want to embrace immediately. But not the hug around you too. Your head falls against his shoulder as he hugs the both of you with shaking hands. "Mama?" She mumbles, half asleep, "Mi amor," You mumble, kissing her forehead tenderly. Rafa looks up, clearly surprised, "She's your daughter too, Rafa. Of course she's going to know Spanish," You whisper and he smiles through blinking back some tears.

You put her back in her crib, though it is clear that Rafael doesn't want to be far away from either of you right now. As you close the door to her room, you walk back out to where he is still frozen in place, "I missed so much," He mumbles, putting his face in his hands. In that moment, all the anger and the built-up hatred fizzles away. You sit beside him and glance up at him, "What's two years gone when you have so many more ahead?"

He furrows his eyebrows as you smile, "Regardless of what you've done, we're family. The three of us," You say and he nods, "But only if you don't leave again," He shakes his head quickly, "Never again. She will know me...I promise,"

His brows furrow as he tries to keep his composure, "What's wrong?" "You did all of this alone" "Have you met the people I work with? There has not been one moment that I've been alone," You whisper as he glances between your eyes and your lips.

"There was not one moment in these past years that you weren't on my mind, mi vida," He begins to lean in and the years and lost time begin to slip away as all you can think about is his lips about to kiss yours

[messymindofmine]

I've debated whether or not to say this but it's something that's been weighing on me a lot lately. I feel like something we need to address in this fandom is the harsh judgement and lack of grace towards our wonderful characters when we see them mess up.

I know that this season really knocked us all for a loop with Carlos's big reveal. I definitely didn't love the entire "secret marriage" storyline but the way some people reacted to it baffles me. I totally understand being angry. There is no denying that the storyline was full of plotholes and didn't mesh well with what we'd seen on the show in prior seasons. That said, I have to disagree with the people saying that it ruined Carlos's character or that it didn't make sense for him. Here's the thing, Carlos has never been perfect. He's been shown as being flawed and making mistakes since the beginning. It's just that up until this season, his mistakes have often been blamed onto others (usually TK) or ignored entirely. Since the beginning, Carlos was held on an unrealistic pedestal. Even criticisms of him being a cop were met with hostility. Then this season gave us Carlos messing up in a way that could not be blamed on anyone but him and it sent many people into a tailspin. As a result, they either still tried to pin the blame onto someone else (chiefly Iris) or they acted like Carlos's character was irrevocably ruined and started to act like they'd never liked or defended him, maybe to give themselves a feeling of superiority or not to come off as hypocrites. At any rate, I understand feeling upset that a character you love has messed up in such a big way but that doesn't mean that the character is ruined. I hate that Rafa felt like he had to get people to fall in love with Carlos again because I certainly never stopped and I know plenty of others (I would even go as far as to say most of us) didn't. It doesn't surprise me that people reacted that way though. What happened with Carlos is exactly what we see happen in real life with celebrities that have been put onto a pedestal by their fans. As soon as that celebrity messes up in a human way their fans can't excuse or ignore, many of those same fans will turn against them completely and even act like they never liked the celebrity anyway because they can't handle the thought of their fave being human. Such is the danger of idealizing humans. Not every flaw needs to be defended, sometimes these flaws need to just be accepted as part of being human and given grace. And that's what makes our characters so relatable to us. They are human. That's also why the anger towards Carlos this season was so jarring. Because it is something that has never really happened before and some people have gone from one extreme to the other. Well, Carlos is a human and he has never been perfect. I am sorry to the people who were disappointed by him this season but I fail to see any reason why so many insist on acting like he's completely ruined or refuse to show any understanding or grace as to why he did these things in the first place. A character without flaws would never be a fully realized character and it would be a disservice to the fandom. I'm not saying that a lot of the criticism wrt Carlos's storylines this season aren't valid or that people aren't allowed to be upset about the way certain things were done this season. I certainly have my criticisms but Carlos is a rich, complex character and that's what makes him so realistic and lovable. Valid criticism of a character's actions is one thing but to tear a character apart and then act like you never blindly defended them is another entirely. It's just gross and hypocritical. Most of all, the people who relate to Carlos in this fandom should not have to feel threatened or that their feelings and experiences don't matter.

Iris is another character that has been torn apart by fans this season. The people who still refuse to admit that Carlos isn't perfect have decided to pin the blame for the marriage onto her even though it has been made very clear that Carlos was the one who initiated the idea. But the negativity towards her didn't start this season. It's been there since her first appearance in 1x09. Even back then when we knew nothing about her beyond her being Michelle's sister and that she had schizophrenia, people chose to hate on her rather than show compassion and understanding. Back then, I saw Iris being referred to as "selfish" and "ungrateful" for refusing treatment. She was made fun of for the behavior we saw in 1x09 and 1x10 without people taking into consideration what she would have been dealing with. This season though it was taken to another level. People were even acting like Iris forced Carlos to stay married even though Carlos himself admits that he never even visited her when she returned. Obviously, Iris didn't even know TK existed and because she needed the insurance she got from the marriage so Carlos would have needed to be the one to initiate a divorce or annulment. Beyond that, we had some scenes of her behaving in a way that is out of the ordinary to neurotypical people but the reason for that was made very clear yet people still chose to use it against her. The way people acted like she was somehow standing between Tarlos is ridiculous especially since we literally had her saying onscreen that she wanted Tarlos to have a real marriage unlike what her and Carlos had. There are people in this fandom who can relate to Iris and they don't deserve to feel like they are less than or that they are not safe because some people can't handle the idea of a character not being perfect and so pin the blame on the easiest target.

TK has been a punching bag for many in this fandom since the beginning. From the moment he walked out of that dinner in 1x02, even though we all knew why he did that, people lashed out at him and it hasn't stopped since. Until this season, even the tiniest of conflicts between Tarlos have been blamed on TK. People have gone so far as to say that he's a terrible partner because he brought a lizard home. The breakup was entirely blamed on him and I remember seeing fics that killed him off during the Push era. People straight up accused him of cheating with Cooper in 3x13. They did the same thing when he dared to smile and joke with a bartender in 2x04. Nothing TK does for Carlos is ever enough and his actions (or non-actions for that matter) are constantly twisted to make it seem like he doesn't love Carlos as much as Carlos loves him. Even his proposal hasn't been safe from this. People keep saying that it wasn't good enough because he didn't buy an expensive ring and take Carlos to a fancy dinner. And this constant criticism and judgement never goes away. People keep bringing up past actions or even things he's never even done for the purpose of tearing him down. I've even seen people say he sucked because he didn't support Carlos in 2x08 even though when everything with Carlos was happening, he was literally being kidnapped and held at gunpoint. I have actually seen people say that if they were Carlos they would've killed TK by now. I've also seen people say that TK's biggest problem is that he doesn't appreciate how lucky he is. I have seen so much ableist and offensive language used that I can't even begin to talk about it here. It's not always just anger either. I've seen people just mocking him for certain behaviors that are completely consistent for someone who deals with addiction and mental illness. There are people in this fandom who relate to TK and the microaggressions towards them (and TK) don't get called out enough IMHO. And it's worth adding that a lot of the language that has been used towards TK has also been used towards Iris. I know people who actually had to step back or leave the fandom entirely after the Cooper episode. People who can relate to TK and tried to explain why he was acting like that and what Cooper's place in his life was were attacked. And it doesn't always just pertain to the show itself either. Even now during the hiatus, if someone talks about the impact Carlos has had on TK's life or what great care he takes of TK, they are accused of not caring about Carlos or favoring TK. But if the talk about how much TK has done for Carlos, they are accused also accused of favoring TK. It seems like not only is TK not allowed to be a vulnerable, complex character with lots of wonderful attributes, people in the fandom aren't allowed to love him either. Things from past episodes and seasons are constantly brought up as "proof" of how much TK sucks. Even Ronen has talked about how he feels people often misunderstand TK or ignore his struggles. In fact, he did it just this season in a post-4x04 interview. People kept saying they wanted TK to prove his love to Carlos by rescuing him (because I guess everything else wasn't enough) and when it did happen, they complain that it wasn't good enough. When TK was the one who needed support for the first time this season during the Huntington's arc, people mocked him for being over-dramatic. Then they said that TK had better have really great vows because he needed to match what Carlos said to prove his love. Then when we saw his vows, they now say that the vows weren't good enough and that TK wasn't emotional enough even though we can see him sniffling and hear his voice crack. Basically, even when TK does the things people insist he needs to do, it's still never going to be good enough. And when any comment about the way he is treated by certain people is brought up, it's often dismissed, downplayed or ignored and the people who actually relate to TK continue to feel unsafe and ignored when they try to speak out.

If there is one character that is literally never safe from the wrath of the fandom, it's Owen. Literally everything that Owen says, does, doesn't say or doesn't do is used as a reason for people to say he is the worst father or the worst captain. It's like people watch him from a completely different lens than they do all the other characters and somehow this lens doesn't show them any of the positive things about him. Much like Carlos, Iris and TK, so much of Owen's actions can be explained by his trauma and his experiences. This is a man who deals with the worst kind of survivor's guilt and has experienced unimaginable loss since he was a child. He has a son who struggles greatly with his mental health and addiction yet in that son's own words he has never given up on him. He is the one that brought all the characters we love together in the first place and so much of the happiness they have now is partly due to him. Yet somehow people ignore all this in favor of ripping into him every chance they get. He can't even talk about sex in front of his adult son who very clearly has no problem with it without people calling him a terrible father.

To be clear, I am absolutely not saying that the issues mentioned above represent the entire fandom. I can honestly say that being a part of the LS fandom is more pleasant than any other fandom I have ever been in. But like all fandoms, and indeed like real life, there are issues that I think should be addressed even if the ones causing them are in the minority. Because the problem is that it doesn't matter how small the minority is when they're the loudest of the bunch. And sometimes it really does seem like the loud minority drowns out the majority who are just trying to have civil discussions and enjoy being a part of a fandom and that should never happen because fandom should be a place we can all feel safe.

[namorslutfanfiction]

1 & 15 with our curly haired beauty Rafa maybe?👀

Here's 1

"Tell me you love me." Rafa's whisper was desperate. He'd cornered you at your nephews birthday party. The party goers were focused on the kids and of course Felix had his own things to worry about. He didn't need to find out that his best friend and his sister were currently in a closet somewhere.

"Rafa, let's not do this here. I can visit you at your place tomorrow. But please please don't do this right now." You pushed the narco away from you. He looked angry but also more sad than you had ever seen them. You were frustrated and also felt slightly guilty but you ignored that.

"You really don't love me do you? Was I just your way of getting back at your brother?" Rafa looked like he had just had an epiphany and started laughing. "We've been doing this for a year! A year of hiding and running around and all the things you said we were going to do together. I killed people for you!"

"You act like I was the only one manipulating people Rafa. I know you only started fucking me to get back at that rich brat Sofia. You could honestly have done better, Rafa." You shot back.

"That was only in the beginning. I haven't given a shit about Sofia since that first night we slept together," Rafa softened again.

It was infuriating how your heart ached for him. It wasn't supposed to have gotten this far and for this long. "Rafa, I do care about you. But this is not the place for us to figure out whatever we are. There's something big happening with my brother and I don't want you to get involved."

"I'm his partner, of course I'm involved," Rafa shot back, frustration evident.

"Do you know he's trying to get into cocaine transport?" You asked him, expecting the surprise that took over his face. "You aren't that close to him anymore. I don't want him finding out about us because it might give him another reason to push you out."

Rafa leaned up against the door of the closet, contemplating what he had just heard. You watched him realize what Felix's new business venture would mean for him and his weed. You cupped his cheek and met his gaze. "Fucking with you may have started because I knew it would annoy Felix the most. But do you really think I would have kept this going for so long if I didn't have a reason."

You kissed him softly and he instinctively returned the kiss. You pulled away and held his face in your hands. "Before Felix finds out about us I need to make sure that your weed will be able to stand on its own without my brother's focus. I'm protecting you, do you understand?"

"Look me in the eyes this time and say you don't feel anything for me or tell me you love me. One or the other," Rafa insisted, not believing you.

You looked at him, taking in the handsome man who had been part of your life longer than anyone but your brother. The man you had grown so close to in the past year despite all your efforts to stay detached. You knew you had hurt him as you led him on. Glued to his side one week then off doing who knows what the next. You'd treat him better eventually, when you knew he was safe. But you would give him something to cling to. "I love you, Rafael Caro Quintero. And I will show you just how much tomorrow when I visit your home. But today I need to go out there and celebrate my nephew's birthday."

You pulled him down by his lapel for a heated and passionate kiss that left Rafa out of breath and trying to kiss you again. You pushed him away, "I'll leave first. Wait 5 minutes before you leave the closet. I will see you tomorrow, mi amor."

Rafa stole another kiss, his demeanor now happier and giddy and so in love, "I'll do whatever you want, bonita. I can't wait until tomorrow."

You hesitated at the door and turned to him one last time, "I promise you, Rafa, we'll be together in the open, soon. Just wait for me, okay. Te amo."

With those words you left the closet and didn't turn back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's 15 SMUT

You couldn't help but gasp as Rafa kissed his way down your body. You wanted more than anything to thread your fingers through his hair and hold him close. You pulled at the ropes that tied you to the bed to no avail.

When Rafa settled between your legs and ran the flat of his tongue up your slit you struggled to stifle the moan. He laid his head on your inner thigh and with the barest tip of his finger grazed your sensitive skin, pulling away as you tried to rock into his touch. You looked down at him regretting letting him do this.

He had insisted that he wanted to try being in control. Rafa was normally so welcoming to your need to tease and play with him. You experimented but your love making always leant toward your dominant side. But he'd gotten it into his head, for some reason, that he wanted to tie you up and have his way with you. So here you were, tied to your large bed, naked and spread like an eagle for him to have his way with.

Rafa straddled your thigh, cupping your pussy with one hand as he leaned over you and nipped at your nipple. He was still fully dressed and you were craving his skin on yours. You mewled as he laved at your breasts and finally dipped a finger inside of you. He was smiling as he rutted against your thigh, his hard on pressing into you.

You watched him as he pulled his finger from you and stuck it in his mouth. He made a show of licking it clean before he unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside. The dark man was still slowly rutting against your thigh as you squirmed for more friction between your legs. Rafa smiled at you as he glided his fingers along your torso, cupping your breasts. "You look so needy, baby. I like it."

You gasped when he wrapped a hand around your throat and found your clit with the other. He drew languid circles around the nub, pulled away, then did it again, teasing you mercilessly. You moaned in frustration, "I think I liked you better when you were on your knees and begging for mercy."

Rafa chuckled loudly as he muffled your comment with his lips. You were savoring the taste of his tongue when you felt him unbuckle his pants. When he pulled away and leant back on his knees you could see his hard cock now out in the open. You watched him step off the bed and kick off his jeans. Followed by him moving to each of your ankles and untying them.

You didn't move, unsure of what was coming but you were eager for whatever it was. His fingertips danced along your legs as he crawled back up the bed. You breathed out his name, begging him with your eyes for more. Rafa hovered over you, whispering words of adoration as he covered your face, neck, and shoulders with kisses. You felt him untie one of your hands from the bedpost but keep the rope around your wrist.

"Turn, mi amor," He whispered as he guided you. Rafa untied your other wrist but as you turned he pulled your wrists together and tied them to each other behind your back. You were surprised that he chose this but you didn't bother to ask as he distracted you with more kisses and caresses.

The narco's cock was nudging at your pussy as he pulled you up to a kneeling position. He kept your torso up by a firm hand on your tied wrists and his hand cupping the front of your throat. You felt totally at his mercy as he slid his cock home. He fucked you viciously, spanking you as he thrust into you at a punishing pace. It had never been like this before. So brutal and animalistic and all consuming. Your orgasms hit you one after the other as Rafa used you. You could do nothing but take all that he gave you.

By the time you were nestled in his arms, barely conscious as he pulled you close and showered you with kisses and 'I love you's, you had no more regrets. Maybe you'd have to let him have control more often. You were sore, a mess between your legs, and completely and utterly satisfied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for playing!

Review, reply, reblog!

[malevolent-muse]

A Winter's Kiss - Barisi Fan Fiction

Summary: Amidst winter’s frosty grasp, Sonny Carisi, now an Assistant District Attorney, stumbles upon his mentor-turned-lover, Rafael Barba. A familiar tie, a tender kiss, and a shared warmth in the cold air set the stage for a day filled with unexpected emotions and unspoken intentions.

[←Previous Work]

An icy breeze meandered through the Manhattan streets, tugging at the edges of coats and licking along the edges of people’s ears and noses. For a January morning, it was frigid. Pedestrians darted along the sidewalks and commuters poured out of taxis and ride-shares, seeking to arrive quickly at their destinations. The exhaust from the many vehicles produced a white fog in the air, swiftly carried away by the wind.

Out into this mist of cold air strode Dominick “Sonny” Carisi, newly minted Assistant District Attorney. A long wool coat that reached below his knees complemented his tall and lanky frame. In his hand, he held a fine black leather briefcase; a gift from his boyfriend.

Adjusting his grip on the handle of his bag, Sonny spotted a familiar figure standing near the courthouse. Bundled up against the cold, the man wore a blue-gray twill coat, a patterned scarf, and a three-piece suit. With the neatly trimmed beard framing his face, Rafael Barba was immediately recognizable.

“Rafael!” Sonny called, a smile coloring his lips as he approached his boyfriend. “What are you doing here?!”

“Dominick,” Barba greeted in return. “Or should I say ‘Counselor?’ I just wanted to stop by and wish you luck today.”

Sonny blushed as he said, “Well, to be honest, I couldn’t have done it without your guidance. But you didn’t need to come all the way down here, Rafa. I think you congratulated me plenty last night.”

A knowing smirk tickled at the corners of Barba’s lips, creasing the edges of his lips and the corners of his eyes.

When a passing car kicked up cold grime from the road, the pair of lawyers walked together for a few more feet until they arrived at the base of the imposing granite steps.

Shifting from one foot to the other to stave off the winter chill, the tips of Sonny’s ears and fingers were already red from the cold. As much as he enjoyed unexpectedly seeing his boyfriend, he didn’t fancy the idea of standing outside longer than was strictly necessary.

Sonny was just about to say that they should either make their way inside or go their separate ways when he noticed the orange tie Barba was wearing.

“I like your tie,” he said. “Isn’t it mine?”

“I bought you this tie. I’m allowed to borrow it.”

“In that case,” Sonny said, rolling his eyes, “it looks better on you than it ever did on me.”

Barba’s eyes glinted mischievously as he stepped closer, his frosty breath mingling with Sonny’s in the cold winter air.

“I should get going,” Barba said. “And you look like you’re about to freeze solid.”

Reaching up, the older man buried his fingers in Sonny’s short hair. With a gentle hand, Barba pulled him down and pressed a tender kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

The warmth of Barba’s affection was enough to make the former detective forget the lingering touch of winter’s icy grasp. Sonny tried to follow the caress of lips with his own, but Barba pulled away too quickly.

“Honestly, Carisi,” Barba teased, “we can’t stand out here all day making out. Now get inside. You have work to do.”

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[carlos-in-glasses]

Carlos-in-Glasses Goes to Paris

For prosperity I’ve written up my experience of the First Responders Reunion Convention – which is my first convention experience. And what an overwhelmingly good and stressful time it was. Under the cut is my attempt to capture my memories and the essence of it, rather than a transcription of panels and meeting rooms, as others have already done the good work (or will be). I hope you find this interesting and useful if you do read, and if you have any specific questions (including about travelling alone/logistics/issues I had) I’ll do my best to provide a coherent answer.

I am very tired and this is slightly manic but here we go:

Friday: If you are among those who waited in line for three hours to register for the convention, even if I did not see or interact with you….I feel we are spiritually bonded forever by the experience. Blimey, crikey, and bloody hell. It was not clear at all how long the wait would be, but I was not expecting that! However, there was an undeniable thrill in the air. I was in pain all over, yet happy. By the late evening, dinner was half a tube of Pringles and a glass of red wine.

Saturday: Breakfast was four croissants. I actually recommend this because they really did carry me through until lunch. Not long after arriving, we were milling about in the lobby waiting for the opening ceremony to begin - when Ronen walked past up on the mezzanine/ balcony thing, waving to us, all fabulous and just….there in the flesh?!!!...and revealing his hair. We’d speculated that he’d dyed it pink or the bisexual pride flag colours, or “wouldn’t it be funny if it’s just brown?!” And it was brown! And it WAS Funny.

The opening ceremony was a trip lol. Holy shit. They played a music video compilation of the actors from each show (I never want to hear How to Save a Life by The Fray ever again. Jk jk don’t come for meee). There was an undulation of incredibly loud screaming whenever particular actors popped up on screen, so it was like being on a rollercoaster that wasn’t moving. Adrenaline was high by the time all the actors walked out on stage and say hello. It’s hard to explain exactly how bonkers it is to be in the same physical space as Ronen, Rafa, Sierra and Natacha and see their non-TV dimensions… TANGENT TIME:

….Speaking of dimensions! I tried to pay close attention to the height difference between Ronen and Rafa, but it’s also an optical illusion in real life? FYI, I’m 5 ft 7 – Ronen didn’t seem massively taller than me, Rafa did seem massively taller than me; next to each other it was like there was nothing in it. But in my photos they’re both much taller than me and Ronen looks slightly the biggest I think 🤔 So I have no clue what’s going on. In fact, I’m more confused than ever.

After the opening ceremony (which I fled from because fuuuck) I was waiting around due to rocking up early for my meeting room by accident. The schedule was a confusing design and I was far from the only person who was doing a sort of 'hit-and-hope' when it came to figuring out where to be and when, especially as things almost immediately overran, so other activities got moved around/ postponed. ANYWAY – Ronen walked right past with a member of staff who was instructing him. I overheard him tell her “It’s okay…I’m a pro at this.” He really did wander around like he owned the place. At one point he strolled through the lobby with an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

My first activity was the meeting room with Ronen and Rafa (ie. a group of a set number of people in a room with actors for half an hour). By chance it turned out that I was sitting almost right next to them, with a gap left for the door between us. So, super close. And obviously they were both mesmerising. This was the meeting room where Rafa said “To catch the murderer, Carlos has to behave like one”, and explained that Carlos would have to murder parts of himself. His emphasis was on how Carlos’ innocence has been taken from him because his father’s life was stolen. For what it’s worth, I interpreted this as Rafa viewing the whole thing very much from an dramatic actor’s standpoint, and how he needs to get into the mindset of Carlos’ particular grief metaphorically, rather than meaning anything literal. He speaks quite intensely and thoughtfully and his choice of words is often bold. For anyone concerned about it, just remember he was asked a question and responded off the cuff the best he could in the moment, with limited time. He doesn’t write the show and I guess he’s making assumptions based on how season 4 left off, like the rest of us, unless he’s had very specific conversations with Tim (which, maybe! But he wouldn’t be able to give anything away. We don’t know anything). Then, when Ronen brought up TK dying (because Ronen always dies in the films/TV he does – using an axe to the chest as an example) it was pointed out that Tarlos is endgame, so he can’t die. Cue Rafa being like “Carlos could die with him! They die together!” I was like goodness me lads it’s early in the morning for this. I needed a brandy afterwards.

Next up was my Tarlos Duo Photoshoot. As noted above, everything had fallen behind schedule, and things were starting to get switched around. Honestly, it was confusing, daunting and stressful (please note: Am VERY easily confused, daunted, and stressed). But thanks to the power of following others and asking questions, I ended up where I needed to be. When it was my turn, Rafa immediately and warmly put his arm around me to pose but Ronen was talking to a staff member, so Rafa and I were just… touching each other for a good few seconds before Ro joined us! I took the opportunity to thank Rafa for doing this for us, but I can’t remember how he responded. Then the photo was taken. I told them they’re both amazing, they said “aw thanks” at the same time, and again I fled the scene. As there are so many people, the shoot you have is super speedy. I advise really trying to keep your cool even though it’s a highly flustering situation. You don’t want it to become a total blur or something you regret, because it really is lovely to be next to them and quickly say a few words and get a keepsake afterwards.

My next activity was autographs and selfies with Natacha and Sierra. A super lovely thing. I gave them cards I'd written (as I also did for Rafa and Ronen the next day). Sierra was an absolute highlight for me. Just the warmest, kindest person. A total joy. She opened her card in front of me and I was like nooooo don't. It truly felt like she’d come to the convention for the opportunity to meet us, rather than the other way around. She told me she liked my outfit and said I look beautiful in pink. Similar to what I said to Rafa, I thanked her and told her I can’t imagine what it’s like for them to do this, expecting her to quickly say “oh you’re welcome” or something. But she started having a mini-philosophical conversation with me about the nature of fame and fandom! Then she said “it is overwhelming in the best way” because she gets to see the human heart behind all the messages etc (I’m paraphrasing). I said “it’s all about love” and she said “yes! It’s all about love, absolutely.” She was a true delight. And Natacha is a blast. She also complimented my pink outfit and I was like ???? Thanks????!!! Gahhh. The selfies came out way more flattering than the photoshoot. The lighting. Oof.

The last Saturday thing for me was the panel with Ronen and Rafa. It was quite brief but there were some real gems. Rafa saying he only has eyes for Tarlos. Ronen saying “Safe in their apartment holding on to each other. I think Carlos is TK’s honeymoon.” I melted. I let our an audible aww.

Sunday: The first thing was a Lone Star quiz in the panel room with Natacha and Sierra. They were so fun and such good sports. Then it was the Lone Star panel, where Natacha, Sierra, Ronen and Rafa were all on stage together answering fan questions. It was really nice to see them all interact, banter and laugh together. Sierra made a point of saying they’re all close in real life and hang out in their free time. There was a great vibe between them and such a good atmosphere in the room. I loved it when Rafa told Ronen that he was out of rhythm when it came to learning the pilot episode line dance; Ronen argued that he smashed it and there's video evidence. Rafa's response was "Sweetie, no."

I then had the autograph and selfie sessions with Rafa and Ronen, but because the Lone Star panel overran, suddenly Ronen had his photoshoot session instead, so I had a clash between going to that or staying downstairs for Rafa. I was trying to figure out what to do until the queen that is @actuallysara got some clarity from a staff member and we went up to Ronen, but by that point the upper level by the studio was crowded and chaotic. Be advised to prepare for disarray if you’ve never been to a convention before. It might be that you experience no scheduling issues or confusion, but just be prepared for the advent anyway. As it happened, I was through quickly for my photo with Ronen – again thanks to Sara locating the door! Ronen, hungover, was wearing his sunglasses, so I wore mine. He did a dumb pose without saying anything; I grinned at the camera and then thanked him and ran off again to get back downstairs where Rafa was still signing autographs. I got to tell him he plays my favourite character of all time and we took a selfie I really love ahhhh. Then Rafa had to leave for his photoshoot – which was my next thing – so I ran back upstairs and was one of the first in line! So I was like “heeey nice to see you again so soon…!” He remembered my name – I guess because he’d only just written it down 😅 I thanked him for the 10th time – just couldn’t stop thanking everyone like I’d caught a disease where the symptom is permanent gratitude. THEN I ran downstairs to do the autograph and selfie with Ronen, who was running late – so that got postponed to the afternoon after we’d already waited a long while. When it did happen it was great - I can't remember what I said to him but I assume it was polite and made sense – although a chaotic queuing system again ensued. A whole long line of us were crushed together in the heat. I had an Aperpol spritz after and when I tell you I’d never needed a drink like that more…

That was it for my paid activities! Unknown to me at the time, my final glimpse of Ronen, Rafa, Sierra and Natacha was when I was sitting on the floor eating Ritz Crackers while they were wandering past on their way to/from whatever they were doing next. It felt so normal to see them around at that point. We gathered for the closing ceremony, thinking we’d see all the actors on stage once more for a goodbye, but the ceremony had to happen without any of the actors because of running late. So, I cherish my ‘seeing them in the hallway’ memories.

Overall feelings and would I do it again? If you’ve never been to a convention before but want to, do go into it with open eyes: There’s potentially a lot of waiting around and standing in line for a long time in a hot space (sometimes the line is more like a shapeless crowd and you don’t know where it begins and ends). Some of the activities are quite rushed. They fall behind schedule easily and you have to be agile about where to go next and what to do. The Dream It team worked super hard and could do with employing more staff in stewarding roles, ideally wearing something that identifies them as such (the staff blended in with the visitors of the convention). But I don’t know the economics of their staffing situation so maybe they can’t grow the team. Anyway, having more signs up also would have been useful. When you do get your moment with Ronen, Rafa, Sierra, Natacha though – or whoever you have come to see – it really is beautiful and meaningful.

Right now, I’m flipflopping – but mainly I think once is enough for me, unless they come to a convention the UK. There’s a couple of aspects I’d like to ‘do over,’ but perhaps not enough to try to recreate the magic a second time, given the expense of it?? That might change over the coming months – we’ll see! I went to this convention with the goal of meeting Ronen and Rafa (with Natacha and a Sierra being a glorious bonus as I booked it long before they were announced as guests) to tell them in person thank you and I love you – and I achieved that. I do think it was worth my money, but it is very expensive and tiring. I was lucky to be in a good position to pay for it this year, which might not be the case going forward. You really need to be able to afford to do it, and genuinely want to do it, knowing you’re paying money for something that is going to have some hard and challenging aspects as well as the amazing and joyful. Personally, I love that I went once. I didn’t love the Super Endurance Test of 2023 that was standing in line for three hours on Friday after travelling hahaaaaaa god. I loved the selfies and autograph sessions. I didn’t love the photoshoot outcomes but I loved that I’ve had Rafa’s large hand on my shoulder because I'm slutty so. I love that I looked into both his and Ronen’s eyes and told them how great they are. I love that I uploaded my selfie with Rafa to my instastory and he viewed it, so there’s just a line of my friends’ names, then actuallyrafa, then a line of my friends’ names 🤣

I also want to note that in real life, compared to footage of them in interviews/insta lives/wherever, I think you get even more of a sense of just how different they are to their characters. It made me respect them all even more than I already did, which I didn’t think was possible. They are SO talented.

BUT most importantly: The reason why this was so brilliant was @actuallysara, without whom I wouldn’t have thought I could travel alone to Paris and do this at all. Sara, meeting you and giving you a big hug was also the dream. You are so helpful and knowledgeable and kind ,and once again your flags were a fantastic idea and I’m so happy I got to sign them. I hope I get to see you again very soon. Thank you from the depths of my soul. @meditating-honey-badger (and your fabulous companion…!) it was a true delight to hang out, and chill out, and have such funny and deep conversations. You are an absolute light and I loved meeting you. I hope so much to see you again too. Like Sara, it could never be too soon. And @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut. What can I say. What can I possibly say. I want to make drinking on rooftop bars while talking about writing our thing. I’ve never done that with anyone else. We really went through this side by side and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I already miss you and I thank you too. You are, in fact, the warmest doughnut in town. All of you, forever ❤️. You made it what it was.

(Digitally applied giant aviator sunglasses and some editing so the Tarlos duo photoshoot doesn't count as a face reveal. Thank you also to the lovely people who made bracelets and handed them out.)

[bubblepopsims]

After a couple of days not answering the chat Evan picked up the phone. "Amore, would you mind taking pictures of me for our group chat? " Evan was aware that Courtney wasn't feeling her best and didn't want to appear in any picture. "I feel like it's my time to shine".

"Hey babes! You all look so stunning! You should see yourself through my eyes to understand how truly beautiful you are. Not as much as my love, sorry, but you are all close enough." Evan planted a light kiss on Courts cheek and resumed typing. "@Maddi I bet you would love to put a finger in between those beautiful, round, firm, hairy butt cheeks. I would, Courts would. You should do more than that 🤭 Courts is happy with the results of the work out too, let it be known that I have to carry her to the gym almost every time. I am starting to think that she just likes being carried around by me. Last time Hermes tried to pick her up and she wasn't very happy about it. Here come the first pic"

"@Maddi don't worry about the undies, I got you! Courts will be sending something for you too, I know you will enjoy it probably not as much as Rafa though. He better be nice to you or me and Courts will teach you a few useful tricks. @Asuka I am glad to be a prop for my grumpy better half. I love her and she can do whatever she wants with me. That is why today I am sacrificing myself and sending you this photo shoot. Courts did suggest the poses though. She is enjoying this. And yes, that bending over got some nice side effects 🍑 Courts is asking me to ask you @Asuka @Emillie about those shoes, she likes them a lot. She was going to make a joke about watching us go at it only if you let us watch you but she is afraid that you would say yes and hold her accountable 🤣"

"Don't ask about the onion pillow please. @Emillie slapping for Asuka and biting for you. Actually Courts is very good at biting while I excel in the slapping asses department 😎"

"@Juju @Izzy I hope you had some fun times, I bet Izzy want crazy seeing you like that on the bed. What a sight!"

Evan laughed, he wasn't done with Rafa just yet. " My very straight friend Rafa, you need to let loose a bit more, it would do you and Maddi good. I swear you would enjoy it 😜"

"And here is Courts favorite pic. We love you babes!"

M: "Oooo Sugar butt look! Evan decided to go all out!!" Maddi shifted upright in the backseat of the car, letting Rafael get a better look at her phone while she scrolled through the pictures of a radiating sex appeal Evan.

R: "You know part of me wanted to say this was just him being an attention whore.. but the fact Courtney is behind that camera.. he is pretty much eye fucking her."

Maddi laughed and nudged him "Oh so what I like to do mmmm?"

R: "Precisely. just with you, it has an effect on me. with Evan i just want to send him to... what did you call it? Horny jail?"

Maddie MadPie: "GUYS... RAFA JUST SAID HORNY JAIL XD! he saw the pictures and said Evan is eye fucking Courtney through the camera and -

Rafa took her phone and immediately read the messages that Evan had put in the chat "Give me this." Maddi yelped when the phone was taken from her and frowned only seeing how fast his fingers were going.

Maddie Madpie: "This is Rafael. First of all, you horny bastard, don't put that in Madalyn's head about putting anything in my ass. Second, what sacrifice are you making...? you love showing off is nothing new. Don't fool these people. especially my woman."

he sent the message and got out of the car helping Maddi out.

Maddie Madpie: "Welp... that went differently... but @ Evan. I want to put both of your asses on pillows for Courtney and I. alsoooo sorrryyyy i made you take the blame for my hidden fantasies. BUT please do send those undies hehe. also, give Courts... i am going to call her Smokey Quarts, that I hope she feels better T-T i already miss her face... Can I send a care package?? I want to convince Rafa to take a trip to see you guys !! Speaking of the man.."

Maddie Madpie: "We are the best-looking couple here besides the bride and groom of course... maybe ;) but we can clean up nicely."

Emillie is online.

Emillie: "Brooooooooooo I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS! FIRST WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE ONION OVER YOUR JUNK??? SECOND is that a fucking tentacle dildo on your nightstand??? THIRD what kinky freaky shit are you guys into? I can't even look at the sexy slab of man because I am distracted by that damn toy on the nightstand XD Great fucking ass though @ Evan I want to play music on it. including we would hold both of you accountable. be careful what you ask for. Asuka and I are all about having some harmless fun now."

Maddie Madpie reacted with a laughing emoji to Emilie's post.

Maddie Madpie: "Rafa was saying that they had that "lamp" for as long as he knew them... there as to be a story behind it. also @ Emille Evan said not to ask about the onion. XD"

Emillie: @ Maddie Madpie: "You think I listen?????? do you even know me??"

Asuka Lovely is online.

Asuka lovely: "WOOOOAHHHHHHHH! well, I am staring at @ Evan... Em covered my other questions because..... damn I mean now I get it, Courtney... I really really get it... Jesus.... fuck me eyes... and everything also that ass.... Courtney, I am disrespectfully staring at your man's goods. sorry not sorry about it. @ Maddie Madpie, you guys look fucking amazing by the way let me get that out of the way before I got back to Evan. you guys look stunning. wow.. how did Rafa keep his hands off you?"

Asuka lovely: "Also Em is now making a song about the Tentacle dildo... we took a mini trip upstate to the snowy mountains. staying in this cute asian inspired hotel which is really cute. :3 Sorry I look like shit, I haven't changed for the evening yet. @ Courtney i will send you the link to the shoes so we can be the holy trio :)"

Maddie Madpie: "HEYYY I WANT THEM TOO ONLY IF THEY COME IN PINK Though! Somehow this photo is giving me music video vibes... @ Asuka"

A good hour passed.

Maddie Madpie: "Guys..... Rafa is so hot... I'm sorry.. I know blah blah gushy girlfriend mode... but just look at him... and look how he LOOKED AT ME! mmmmpft one of these days I am accidentally going to have this man's children... not even kidding. @ Evan i told him what you said about loosing up... and he literally gave me the most sexiest straightest face ever... and said He is loose just not for you."

Asuka Lovely: "LMFAO MADDI! YOU CAN'T ACCIDENTALLY HAVE THIS MAN'S CHILDREN. XD BUT I will admit... if I was in your shoes or even Courtney's shoes... I'd definitely consider taking the RISK every time... especially now finding out @ Evan and @ Courtney. are professional biters and ass slappers.. it's a done deal for Emillie and I."

Asuka lovely: "Emillie has that look in her eyes. mmmpft i might get pregnant tonight XD But anyway, we are going out ! hope court court feels better, take good care of her @ Evan also helping her sweat out the sickly is always appreciated! we love you guys! "

Maddie Madpie: "We also love you guys, gotta go seduce Rafa to the dance floor again ;3 wish me luck!!!!"

[hijabiworm]

What never fails to anger me beyond comprehension is the fact that people still act like Israel is being humane in this world. What is humane about forcing over 2 million CIVILIANS out of their homes, backing 1.4 million of them into the corner that is Rafa (which you have bombarded and are planning to do a full scale attack on), cutting off the water, fuel and food from them, blocking humanitarian aid from them, destroying 2/3 of all their hospitals, killing over 30,000 people and torturing the last remaining doctors taking care of those you injured. how do you look at a literal genocide and think-“this can be worse” or even, “they should be grateful that Israel is holding back”? Will you only take this genocide seriously when it’s too late and there’s nothing that can be done?

No, Zionists are actually insane. How can you say, “Israel is actually doing Gaza a service because they only wiped out the civilian population partially, not in whole and forced millions to go homeless and bombed their homes, hospitals, churches, mosques, schools beyond both recognition and repair and destroyed a majority of their hospitals and tortured doctors so the people injured from Israeli attacks can succumb to their injuries-when they could have killed everyone by n*king them” and not hear how murderous and insane they sound?! Like imagine saying “the holocaust wasn’t a genocide because not every single Jewish people in Europe was killed and that the concentration camps could have been “much worse” and actually the Germans were generous because the prisoners were still fed and clothed”-Do you see how insane and disgusting this sounds? This is how Israel-apologists sound to me. And I don’t see how drawing parallels between the treatment of Jewish people in the Holocaust to the treatment of Palestinians today is in any capacity “antisemitic”-wasn’t the point of educating everyone on the holocaust to prevent another one from happening again (to any group of people), to be able to see patterns between then and now so we can identify when someone is trying to commit a holocaust today?

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

I've seen a lot of worry (not quite as much here, but especially on Twitter) about what Carlos is going to be like in season 5 based on things that Rafa has said since the finale, like that Carlos is changed forever and a part of him died along with Gabriel. In my opinion, it's WAY too early to start worrying about season 5 seeing as we have 8 months minimum to wait. But reading so many people's concerns about this got me thinking about it, and I came to the conclusion that even if it WAS an appropriate time to worry, I wouldn't actually be worried.

Anything Rafa is saying now is not based on what's actually going to happen in season 5. Nothing has been written yet. I'm betting even Tim has at most only a vague idea of what might happen in season 5. Also, we know Rafa loves the drama. This is the man who thought their house burning down was romantic and suggested a potential wedding scenario that had Carlos dying on the way there. I don't think we can assume that his personal speculation about what might happen is going to be accurate.

So many traumatic things have happened to characters on this show--things that would completely alter the lives of the people they happened to if this were real life--yet I can't think of a single example of an immense trauma having a significant long-term effect on a character, at least not to the extent that it's fundamentally changed who the character is. Realistic trauma response wouldn't be feasible on a show where trauma happens in basically every single episode. Usually there's no long-term effect from trauma at all. Even if trauma does noticeably change a character, it tends to be more subtle and only comes back up in specific and relevant situations. I'm sure at least part of Carlos' arc next season will be solving his father's murder, so it will clearly be relevant at times. And I'm sure that Carlos will be affected by Gabriel's death--it wouldn't make sense for him not to be. But nothing about this show makes me think it's going to fundamentally alter who he is. It's just not how this show operates.

Changes in Carlos might be more apparent to Rafa in the way he approaches the character but might not be something that we always notice on screen. I remember around the time of 4x04, Rafa talked in interviews about how being held captive by a serial killer deeply affected Carlos. We never saw much (if any) evidence of that on screen, but I bet it informed the way Rafa thought about Carlos and his mindset, at least a little bit.

Something can change a character forever without completely changing who they are. I would argue that Gwyn's death changed TK forever, but it's not something that fundamentally altered who TK is as a person. With time, I would bet changes in Carlos from Gabriel's death will be more similar to this.

The Carlos we know and love was definitely present at the wedding. It would make no sense for Carlos to spiral in his grief and anger throughout episode 18 to the point where he loses himself for a bit, then he comes back to himself just long enough to get married, but then he completely and irreversibly changes going forward and we never see the kind, compassionate, loving Carlos again.

Basically, I think any fears that Carlos is going to become permanently cold and closed off or that his personality will completely change and never change back are unfounded. Any big change in Carlos will probably last for the relevant arc (perhaps as long as it takes to solve Gabriel's murder) and then be resolved. Once we get past that, the effect Gabriel's death has on Carlos will likely be revisited in more subtle ways at times when it's relevant rather than manifest as a permanent and all-encompassing change in his character. I'm honestly really excited to see where they go with Carlos in season 5. If it's done right, it could be really, really good! And whatever direction they go in, we know Rafa is going to act the hell out of it!

[paperstorm]

Violence indeed this morning!! But now it's making me curious and I have a potentially difficult question. You've done a little of fantastic metas on various Tarlos scenes, but what are your top 3 scenes and if course why?

I did four because I couldn't narrow it down to three lol (god I hope people have blocked my character meta tag because a bitch really doesn't know how to be quiet)

the proposal, because obviously. TK's nasally, thick little voice, like he's been sitting there crying a little while he worked up the nerve to ask. Maybe remembering how badly it went the last time he asked someone to marry him, maybe grieving just a little bit for that version of himself who believed in fairy tales and then had his heart hardened, and being so happy that he met someone who made him believe again. the way he wakes Carlos up by petting his hair. His little GIGGLE when he says "there's no lizard" why is TK Strand the cutest boy on the entire planet of earth. The way Carlos has a little 404 error for a moment when TK says marry me. The hand holding. TK's beautiful speech. The tears on Carlos's face. TYLER. the way they fold into each other as they lay back down. Idk it's just perfect. It's the most perfect proposal scene of all time.

The scene on the tarmac after the almost plane crash. That hug. That fucking hug, the way Carlos just crashes into him. He's so terrified, he almost lost TK yet again and he was going to have to stand there and watch it happen, watch the plane go down. I can't imagine the trauma of that. His "I'm the one who put him on the plane", Carlos just lives to blame himself for things that aren't his fault. He really doesn't think he's worth much if he can't keep TK safe and it breaks my heart. TK assuring him that he's okay. Also if you listen closely, they are whispering "I love you" back and forth as they hug the second time. It's FAINT, you have to turn it way up and really listen, but it's there. They breathe "I love you" about three times to each other, and I am just so undone but this little detail because Ronen and Rafa definitely just added that themselves, you can barely hear it so it wasn't even for the camera it was just for them, just what they were feeling as their characters in that moment. I love the details they put into these scenes.

The scene after the fire. The way Tk sighs and looks away when Carlos says he's fine, and that that's the thing that breaks him. Stoic Carlos with all his locked up pain really doesn't even realize that he's hurting until he sees how refusing to admit it upsets the man he loves, and then he just crumbles. TK instantly pulling him in. Kissing his face, rubbing his back, assuring him that they're okay. Because they're not okay, of course they aren't, but his man is hurting so much and all TK can do is hold him. And Carlos letting himself be held is everything to me. Also everything to me? At the end when it's panning out and Judd gives TK a little cuddle. We know how I feel about Judd. We don't need to open that can of worms. But I live for that moment.

The scene where Carlos calls Cooper. This might actually be my most rewatched scene. I can't get enough of it, I just love it so much. "I'm not saying I did a background check, but I did a background check" yes we love a protective boyfriend abusing his power just a little bit for the purposes of keeping his boy safe. The softness of TK's whispered "Thank you. I love you." Carlos responding "I know" which is so much better in that moment than "I love you too" because it's not possessive and it's not about him. Carlos is saying "I trust you. I believe you when you say you love me. I was insecure about our relationship but I'm not anymore." The growth of their partnership in that episode that all culminates in that beautiful scene. The sound that cheek kiss makes. Idk I'm obsessed with it. That little smooch. It's the cutest cheek kiss of all time. Carlos's SMILE as he closes the door. He's so proud of himself. He was so hurt, earlier in the episode, to learn that he wasn't enough to take care of TK, because he wasn't understanding. And he gets it now. TK was brave enough to tell Carlos what he needed instead of getting mad and running away, and Carlos learns to give TK what he needs even if that thing isn't Carlos, and he's so proud of himself at the end for learning it and I just love him.

[melk917]

A long time ago, you mentioned that you cut a description of undressing Barba from your story "Window Sex." Any chance of you posting that, please, please, please? Love your writing!

Oh, thank you! Haha, I've been so quiet with work, I wasn't sure people were still reading. That's lovely to hear.

So, the undressing got recycled into Daddy, the Grandmaster. If you haven't read that one, but want a slow undressing of Rafa, that's where it is! But there's some odds and ends that were cut, both from the undressing and a different intro into Window Sex that was cut for being kinda blah and being too slow of a lead in to the point of the fic. Haha, not sure any of them are great reading. They're sort of like the odd bits of dough left over when you're cutting out cookies, but I've included them below the cut if you want to read.

First pass at the intro to Window Sex:

You leaned against the check in desk, glancing around the lobby, taking in the tourists as Rafael checked in. Everything was a smooth, white marble. Modern with geometric screens that ran floor to ceiling, also in white. It was trendy, high-end. But that wasn’t exactly the reason you were staying here.

You tuned back into the conversation with the front desk clerk, who was looking a little embarrassed as he handed over the keys. “Apologies, Mr. Barba, it’s a fairly low floor. But you’ll have a lovely view of the High Line and the city looking north. It should be beautiful, especially at night. Nothing like New York lit up at night!”

Rafael gave the kid a bland smile and took the envelope. “I’m sure it will be fine, thank you.”

The kid nodded, “You’ll find the elevators over there to your right. And check out is at 11am.”

You smiled and thanked him, picking up your bag. Rafael’s hand was warm on your lower back as he guided you into the elevator, gaze remaining straight ahead until the door slid shut, and he turned to you, smirking.

A different lead in to the sex in Window Sex:

He tugs you back against him and turns you around, pressing your back to the glass now, crowding close to press his lips to the base of your throat, sucking lightly at your pulse until you moan, curving into his hold. He smirks into your skin and brushes his mouth along your collarbone, nipping, before dipping lower to mouth at your breasts. Cupping them, he scrapes his teeth over your nipple through the lace of your bra, making you arch. And then he’s sliding back to his knees, tugging you forward by the hips, kissing across, down, mouthing at you through your panties, inhaling your scent and groaning as you tug on his hair for more.

Instead, he places one last open-mouthed kiss over your soaked panties and leans back on his heels, stroking himself through his pants as he watches you there, backlit by the city. He licks his lips, biting at his lower lip and grips himself harder, hips rocking forward against his hand.

You make a soft, desperate noise at the sight of him, and lean forward to pull him to his feet. “Can I?” 

He releases his cock, hands coming to your hips, letting you take the lead.

Some very disjointed and not written out notes for a slightly different take on Daddy, the Grandmaster:

Soft kiss and it’s clear he’s just exhausted and done, needs a minute. “Go get changed.” kiss him on the cheek and he goes into the bedroom

He’s in there, fumbling with his watch and stuff and you come in and set a glass of scotch next to him and kiss his shoulder through his clothes and tug him to turn around “Come here, let me. Let me take care of you”

Pull down briefs, band under his balls start slowly jacking him, mouth at his balls, the base of his dick while you work him. He’s running his mouth as you take him into your mouth, licking the head, lapping up precum. “yes, just like that, fuck, feels good” tugs on your hair, pulls you off and you whine. Runs his thumb along your swollen lower lip and you dart your tongue out to lick it and he smirks. And pulls you up, and say come on, lets put you on display.

almost deep throating, but then pulls away.  and is like no. and he's like wtf do you mean no? he's gasping, and hard, worked up. and she's like no, i don't think you actually deserve a reward. only good boys get rewards, and I don't think you were being very good.

[three-duck-houses]

@fe-oc-week Day 2 - Relationships

Nico has several relationships with characters before she meets the Lords in Remire, including her family, the Troupe, Lady Daphnel, Byleth, Jeralt, Shez, and Leonie. She then develops more throughout the school year (Hilda, Claude, Raphael, Caspar, Sylvain, Felix, Flayn, and Seteth)

(This got loooooooooooooooong and kinda rambly, I'm sorry<_<;;; )

Her family:

There's her maman Mali, her sister Cassida (Cassi, Mali's daughter), uncle Perry and aunt Helan, her cousin Ryan, and Gramps and Gramma Eisner. Also her Mamani (Mali's mother), uncle Rafa, and cousins Rizeti and Kota in Almyra who they lived with while they were there. She adores them all and will do anything and everything she can to make sure they're all happy and healthy and safe, even things she normally hates, like murder. And lying

The Troupe:

The Portia Performers Troupe is a group of about 90 people who split into 4 travelling groups plus those who stay at "base camp" to help make props and costumes and look after those who are too old young or injured to travel. Nico had plenty of "cousins" to play with while growing up, since most children stay at camp to be raised communally by those who stay behind until they're old enough to not be in danger or pull their own weight on the road. She adores her extended family, and will always try her best to keep them safe and happy. Especially those who she grew up with, and she has something of a flirty banter type relationship with them, since that's just what they're like? (Being able to read and flirt with people is a good skill to have when you're hoping they'll throw money your way)

Lady Daphnel:

Nico admires and respects Lady Daphnel a lot, and is extremely grateful for everything she's done to help her family since they came back to Fodlan. Including giving them a place to stay and helping them all find jobs, especially her (since she'd never planned on bringing a wyvern back with her, which sort of got in the way of her vague plans on joining the troupe since she'd never be able to afford Kilani's food if she did)

She's loyal to Lady Daphnel, placing her interests a very close second place after her family's, and strives to live up to the faith her Lady has placed in her when she was made a personal messenger for Lady Daphnel... and entrusted with collecting spy reports from around Fodlan since she can carry messages much more securely and quickly than other messengers and methods, since she can magic the winds to make Kilani fly faster

Byleth:

Nico loves spending time with Byleth no matter what they end up doing, whether that's fishing, cleaning and mending things around the camp, cooking together, sparring, or Nico telling stories she'd learned while travelling. Her "cousin" might not say much, but anything she does say is well worth listening to. She's found Byleth has become a little more expressive over the 4 years she's known her, that or Nico has simply gotten better at noticing the tiny changes in expression and body language Byleth makes, but either way, Nico is right more often than not at guessing what Byleth is thinking, and putting whatever that is into words

She's worried about Byleth being at the academy, since when she healed Byleth a while ago she found the giant lump of rock embedded in her heart, and Jeralt ended up telling them both about what happened with Byleth's birth since it was probably related to the rock. But besides being nearby in case anything happens, she'll follow Byleth's wishes and try to not make too much of a fuss while they're here

Shez:

Shez is her bestie, pretty much the first friend she ever made who wasn't in some way related to her. She kind of treats him like she does her troupe cousins, but also kinda doesn't, since he can relate to the fighting bandits and monsters aspect of her life more than her extended family can, who can only relate to the constantly moving around part

They're very relaxed and casual with each other, and always found something or other to talk about when they ran into each other

At one point, Nico asked him to pretend to be her boyfriend to help her get out of a potential arranged marriage meeting her Mamani had been asked to set up, and he thought the idea of someone wanting to marry her without having met her hilarious, so agreed to go to the meeting with her. The plan worked, and he enjoyed meeting Mamani and trying a bunch of Almyran foods, so when she needed his help again he agreed, and kept agreeing to the point they swapped from pretend-boyfriend to pretend-fiance

(Neither of them are the least little bit interested in each other like that though. Shez is pretty much in it at this point for the home cooked food and Mamani doting on him and calling him a handsome young man)

She got Shez to join the Blade Breaker crew after the run in between them and Berling's lot, since she pointed out that it was kinda just business gone bad, Berling's crew hadn't had to die if she hadn't been trying to kill them, and, well, he doesn't have anywhere else he needs to be/can go? And also please don't keep trying to kill Byleth, as much as she does adore Shez, making people pick between two options never really goes well for the person pushing the choice...

Leonie:

Leonie is Nico's other bestie, and her first and only real "normal" friend she has until she starts at the academy, since everyone else is either "family" or Shez, who's a constantly moving merc

Nico has a somewhat flirty attitude towards Leonie, because it's what she defaults to when not using her suck-up-to-nobles manners, and Leonie has either never noticed or never cared and has thus never asked her to tone it down or stop

She loves spending time with her since she always knows where she stands with Leonie, and any arguments tend to be over silly things, like if Nico really has to keep practicing archey till she hits the damn target please Leonie please let me stop I've been shooting this damn bow for half a bloody hour please

Hilda:

Nico sort of knew Hilda before she meets her at the academy, because she knows Holst from delivering letters and stopping by the Locket on her way to and from visiting her family in Almyra, and Holst had asked her to buy various jewellery supplies from the markets

She thinks Hilda is nice enough--as nobles go--at first, but quickly catches on to her lazy tendencies. She's happy enough to let things go and pick up Hilda's slack, since she is just a commoner who hasn't paid for her place here like others have after all.

After Nico knocks Hilda out of the way of an attack and gets a nasty axe wound to her arm, Hilda starts trying a little harder to get to know her, and when she realises just how socially awkward Nico is with people who aren't Byleth, Shez, and Leonie, she sort of takes Nico under her wing, and teach her the other forms that friendships can take

Claude:

Nico's relationship with Claude is... complicated

It starts off pretty badly when she gets upset he let her babble on about how great Oswald, no, sorry, she means Lord Rei-damnit all, Duke Reigan is, without stopping her or telling her he's his grandson. And then he gets very suspicious and wary of her when she tells Byleth and Jeralt in Almyran that she can get enough money to bribe the three lords to pretend they didn't see the crew, since some guy has been pestering her uncle to get her to find the youngest Prince who's not been seen in over a year, and offering her a literal Prince's ransom for her trouble...

His opinion starts to change when she takes an arrow in the back of her shoulder in the classes first mission. And then when she gets poisoned while keeping him safe from an assassin. And then when Judith tells him that she trusts Nico, so even if he can't trust her himself can he trust her judgement?

She stops being mad at him pretty quickly, but by that point he's wary, and then by the time he's started to open up to her, she's put him pretty firmly in the "employer I must keep safe" mental folder, so she feels pretty conflicted about if she can or should befriend him or not

At least, whether she should while they're here at the academy. After he's graduated and she's not being (sort of) paid to look after him, anything's possible

Raphael and Caspar:

Her training buddies! When taking the weapon proficiency exams when she enrolled, Nico demonstrated that she knew some hand to hand combat. But it's vastly different to what is taught for Brawling. And both Raphael and Caspar wanted to spar against her to try and pick some of it up

So every week they get together and work through some of the exercises she uses, and she's slowly teaching them some of the other "fun" things she can do, like floating push ups, and handstand push ups, and how to jump half your height from standing, and tight rope walking

She likes them both a lot, since like with Leonie, she pretty much always knows where she stands with them, and they're both great to train with since they're both really encouraging, and take feedback well

Sylvain:

Sylvain reminds her a lot of one of her troupe cousins, and she unintentionally treats him as such... flirty banter and all

After a conversation in which Nico spells out that she has no real interest in dating him, flirting is just fun sometimes coz it's nice to make people feel good about themselves, and Gautier is kinda far and too fucking freezing for her to want to visit him at regularly, Sylvain realises that she honestly does like him for him, and doesn't want any of the things he assumes most girls do

They fall into a tentative friendship, blurred a little because Nico runs cold and Sylvain runs warm and she has odd definitions of personal space, which get worse later in the year because reasons, but mean she'll sometimes sit on his lap and wrap herself around him under his jacket to try and warm up, which he's kinda fine with so long as Seteth won't yell at him for it?

Felix:

At first she got on ok with Felix, he was fun to spar with and she got to demonstrate a wide variety of fighting styles to keep him on his toes with. But then after an incident on her dead mother's birthday where he wouldn't take the hint to stop asking her to spar, and she lashed out at him, accusing him of being the insatiable Blue Lion who won't take a girls no for an answer, the somewhat friendly rivalry disappears in smoke

It takes several weeks after her heartfelt and public apology before he'll look at her again, at which point he grudgingly admits she had a point, now shut up and teach him how she does that dance move he saw her do, it looks like it'll be useful for fighting

So things become kinda ok between them.

He sometimes joins her Raphael and Caspar for the "odd" training, and she gets him to walk the tightrope, saying it's good dexterity practice

(she just wants an excuse to throw things at him and try to knock him down)

Flayn:

Nico knows pretty much from the moment she meets them that they aren't human, because she's got a spell tattooed around her eyes that lets her see magic that she kinda can't turn off (long story), and their internal magic flow is very much not the same as everyone else's. Only matched by Rhea's, really. And kinda similar to what's around Byleth's heart rock... hmm

She makes an effort to spend time with Flayn when she sees she's alone, because while she's heard about how protective Seteth is, she also knows how lonely it is to be alone while surrounded by people. She keeps conversations to safe topics at first, but soon discovers that Flayn is an absolute treasure trove of stories she hasn't heard before, and is more than happy to trade stories with her that she'd learned on her travels.

Seteth:

Seteth is unimpressed with her at first, partly because of the fact they'd had to let Nico join the academy in order for Byleth to stay (Byleth was going to refuse if Nico and Shez couldn't stay for the year too), and partly because she was openly spending time with Flayn

But after Nico tries to prevent Flayns abduction, and then pushes her magic beyond its limits and severely injures herself while getting Flayn back, he mellows slightly towards her, both because he feels he owes her something of a debt, but also because he sees Nico honestly does care for Flayn

It makes the tail end of the year rather interesting =3

There are a few other relationships I could possibly mention, like the also complicated ones she has with Dimitri and Edelgard, but I'm going to call it there, because this is already way too long as it is <__<;;

[williamaltman]

So. Gossip Girl ended. And now I want to talk about my ship! Makidrey! I would have done so anyways but I needed to even more since I promised I would a while back lol.

So, they broke up in the finale, Aki and Audrey stayed together despite their all for all or none for none promise, just like I predicted a while ago. Of course I'm not happy about it, but I'm glad that the showrunner already confirmed that Makidrey was the intended endgame at least. Like I know some people don't really consider Word of God, but I do, even if it's not the same as the thing actually being done and shown.

First of all, fuck Maudreys for making up fake leaks to mess with triad shippers. If it wasn't for y'all I would have worried less in the past few weeks, even though episode 8 (and 6/7 too kinda) actually made that seem plausible. Or idk, maybe you were the ones to fall for fake leaks and actually thought that would happen, which deserved.

It's actually hilarious how, after that, which made Maudreys and even others think they were going that route, in the next episode they went back to business as usual, with Max being the one feeling left out, which is in line with how the story was always framed. That helped me with predicting the finale would be more about whether the triad stays together or not, than Maudrey turning into a couple. Aki and Audrey are really joined at the hip.

Now, what I had wanted to talk about before this, which is: Episode 8, despite pointing out to Max and Audrey and Aki wanting out (because yes it would have been him wanting to break up, not Maudrey dumping him like their delusions lol), it actually showed why they wouldn't be so good as a couple. They're too messy, and Max can end up enabling Audrey's worst side.

I mean, I know some people don't care, and/or think Audrey was completely right about Julien, but clearly that was not what they were trying to say. They were obviously framing her whole plan to fuck over Julien at the store as the wrong thing to do, and Max helping her and saying "everything you did was out of love", while Aki had earlier in the episode told her to choose forgiveness and hoped she made things right with JC, shows how Aki is more in touch with what's actually healthier for her.

And that's why, not only Audrey, but both of them need him. Remember when Max had that whole thing with Rafa, and Aki was the one to look out for him and try to stop it? Max and Audrey are both chaotic, but thankfully Aki is there to be their voice of reason.

To be completely honest, had the shown gotten renewed, I think Maudrey getting together for angst and then realizing they need Aki would have actually been a better choice writing-wise! (though the hiatus would've been hell for me).

When they said they were cutting things I even wondered if Maudrey would be getting cut if the leaks were real. Akidrey having to realize they need Max is literally what season 1 was all about already! But well, since it got cancelled and this ended up being the series finale, I'm really glad they didn't. I'd rather Akidrey be the consequential "endgame" than Maudrey at least.

Honestly, I never thought people were really so against shipping poly ships before this. Makidrey was by all means the main ship of the show. Julien was THE main character but Jobie didn't get as much development as them, and their characters weren't as focused on the ship. I know their writing wasn't always the best, but it was ALWAYS, like from the trailer, obvious that they were meant to be, as a triad.

And they are, and they will be. Good for Akidreys I guess that they can consider them endgame, but it's so obvious from the episode, from the whole show, that the triad was the end goal. Idk why the sex was suddenly good again, but even that had happened randomly in 1B too, before they realized they needed Max. And even in Rome they still mention him, and are sad that they hurt him and that Max doesn't want to talk to them.

At the end of the day I'm still glad for this show, and for them. Goodbye GG. Makidrey forever. (not akimaudrey)

[bcacstuff]

Really? Are you looking for ways to criticize Sam now. Some things are out of his control. If he chose to walk to the casino for political you would say he was using the event to make himself look good. He is talking about it and raising money. Awareness counts. He gets an award smartly dressed gives speech that no matter what he says would be criticized. He sure does have a lot of fans that support him. Can’t let him have and enjoy his night. What charity did Rafa talk about? Why didn’t use moment to make a statement about his charity.

I so expected people coming at me saying what you are saying. And no it is not. All I did was pointing out that, 1) everyone must admit it is crazy to take a car for a 3 minute walk. Even though it is all 'usual' for that kind of events, if we need change this is a way to 2) make that point and really get awareness.

Did anybody talk about that part I framed from the article? Did anybody even noticed that part? I didn't see any. Out of his control? C'mon, if he wanted to, he can. Nobody there to stop him. What do you think would have happened if he would have walked. Just try to think outside the box for a minute. Leak it to some journo's that he's refusing to take that car, but walk to the venue that is right around the corner across the street. And he could talk all the way to the venue with those journo's about the importance of this cause, just think of the headlines! You say it yourself, awareness counts. Did he get awareness now with that one sentence in that article? You didn't even noticed it. How much more awareness could he have gotten when he would have done a small walk?

Didn't Greta Thunberg sail across the Atlantic ocean to attend the climate conferences in NYC? Oh, yep she could have taken an airplane, but how much more awareness did she create doing so?

I don't talk about Rafa, and I'm sure there were more 'celebs' that stayed at the same hotel and arrived all glamorous by car. That is not the point, but sorry to see you're all filled with blindness and only think of me as someone criticizing him. Did I criticize him with one word about the whole event? I posted videos and pics of the event, not a word of criticism. Do I get a thank you for that from you? I don't need it, but then I don't need you to accuse me of criticizing him or saying I can't have him enjoy his night, either where I didn't even do so.

[namorslutfanfiction]

The Second Blurb request for THIS post

@free-for-all-fics i think you're the one that requested this one

Rafa x reader

You kicked open the door of Rafa's bedroom and were immediately accosted by the smell of weed and alcohol. You swatted at the air like you would fend off the smell of despair as you strode across the room and threw open the curtains. You heard Rafa groan in protest as the sunlight hit his face. You'd let him mope after taking him to a safe house in the Caribbean at the behest of Miguel, but this was getting ridiculous.

You stomped over to the foot of his bed, grabbed the comforter with both hands and ripped it from the man in one grand tug. He instinctively flipped over and covered his head with a pillow. You stared at his completely naked form, his tanned ass centerstage in the middle of the bed.

"Moping around in bed is not the answer to your problems, pendejo. I offered to go beat that tramps ass but we got a little distracted with smuggling you out of the country," You smacked his ass hard as you walked around the bed, kicking away empty bottles.

Rafa yelped, rubbing his ass with one hand as he sat up. He put the pillow on his lap, covering his crotch, his hair a disheveled mess. "I think liquor is the answer."

He pulled a bottle out from underneath another pillow and you quickly snatched it away from him, making him pout. Now that you were closer you could smell the alcohol in his sweat and could see the pitiful look in his eyes. "It is not the answer."

Rafa reached under the pillow again and revealed another bottle that he held out of your reach, "If it's not the answer then why does it make such a satisfying noise in the bottle that sounds like answers."

Losing your patience with the heartbroken narco, you lunged across the bed grappling for the half filled bottle of liquor. Rafa shook off his surprise at your actions and tussled with you in earnest. Cursing and fighting with the naked man had definitely not been on your 'to do' list this morning. When the bottle was finally flung off the bed and shattered on the floor, you were both left panting with Rafa holding you down.

A tired grin spread across the man's face as he looked down on you, laughter bubbling over and making him shake. You tried to keep your surly expression but his giggling was contagious. You both dissolved into fits of laughter with Rafa hugging you as you found air again. Once silence fell you remembered that Rafa, who was laying in your arms and on top of you, was very much naked and from the pressure near your thigh, was turned on.

"Nope, nope," You grabbed his hair and used it to pull him off of you, "No dirty thoughts. You smell like a liquor store and who knows when the last time you showered was."

Rafa yelped as you threw him to the side and slid off the bed. He rubbed at his scalp as he turned over to look at you. It became very apparent that he was feeling a certain way with the hard on that was now pointing up into the air. "You don't have to be so rough."

"Don't say that like you don't prefer it when I am. Now go shower, and sober up. I'll help you cut your hair once you're done," You pulled a large trash bag from your back pocket and started picking up trash and tossing clothes into a pile in the corner. "It's been three weeks, it's time to get up and remind people who you are. Not some bitch crying over some girl."

Rafa didn't reply as he stumbled out of bed and headed for the bathroom door at the corner of the room. He stopped at the doorway and turned back to you, "Why did you stay? I know Miguel just told you to take me somewhere safe outside of the country. But you didn't need to stay."

You sighed and stopped your bustling around. You blew at a bit of dust on your lip before looking at him, "I've been betrayed by someone I loved before. It's not easy. I didn't want you to end up dead."

Rafa stared at you for a moment longer before stepping forward, "Thank you."

He moved to give you a hug but you stopped him with a hand to his chest. "As handsome and cute as you are, Quintero. You smell like a wet sock. Go take a bath please. You can thank me all you want later, but not until then."

Rafa chuckled then smirked, "So you'll let me thank you?"

"We'll see, stinky. If you actually look like the Quintero that everyone said was a marijuana genius, after you shower, I might consider it. But if you look anything like the pitiful puppy I found when I saved you, I'll kick your ass. Got it?" You replied, looking him up and down.

Rafa winked at you before making his way to the bathroom. Soon you heard the tell tale noise of the shower running. You took a moment to rub your temples as you felt a headache coming on. Miguel knew you would have saved the curly haired Narco no matter what the circumstances. That's the leverage he always had on you. Rafa had been yours to protect from the shadows, but now Miguel had forced your hand and made you step into the sunlight.

You sighed as you continued cleaning the room. As long as Rafa had no idea who you were and continued back on track with his weed and cultivation, that's all that mattered. If you had to make him trust you by any means necessary, you were prepared for it. It would save Rafa, but it would also save your family. It was a small price to play.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for playing!

[khaleesiofalicante]

Ok yeah. I'm not done, and I'm making that everyone's problem😌. Sooo, other random thoughts!!

I remember in LBAF I, Selena said Rapunzel was her favorite princess when he asked David to tell her a story the first night he arrived at the NY Institute, but pretended not to know it so he could tell her anyway (CUTIES!). The thing is... I didn't realized that was foreshadowing for her powers until recently and I was like WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE?! But same, Rapunzel is my favorite, my first princess crush lol

That Never have I ever fic lives in my mind 24/7, Dani!! And it was so heartbreaking and traumatizing, and omfg Rafael, what are you doing?? I love pain, I need more :)

Where dreams come true was also AMAZING. It was so adorable I wanted to stab myself 🥺🥺. Milo Thatch was my crush since I saw that movie and came out of it bisexual without realizing it LMAO.

Also now that I'm thinking about it, I had a lot of crushes when I was little, but I didn't realize it until later... Is this a bisexual experience????

When you’re married to Magnus Bane, you don’t question whether God exists. You know he does, and you know damn well you’re his favorite. Malec really be saying the most profound things about each other with so much devotion and going on with their lives as if it didn't just destroy mine??? I love it🥰

At this point there's no way David isn't a direct descendent of Jonathan Shadowhunter. There have been way too many connections with him looking like Raziel to be a coincidence😤 istg if shadowhunters start to love him after/if it happens I will kill someone 🔪

I was wondering if the rest of the Lightwood-banes ever found out about what happened to David in IALS? Because he and Max said they wanted to keep that to themselves, as they felt so much of their lives were already shared (good for them). But I'm really curious how they would react🤔

I've read "Good boys go to heaven but bad guys bring heaven to you" like thrice and I'm always laughing like the first time. Those two are so horny and down for each other (no pun intended!) since second 1 in every universe 😂😂

I realized I am a dumbass, because I was reading the name Gabriel as you would say in english and not spanish... SPANISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND GABRIEL IS FROM SOUTH AMERICA AM I AN IDIOT? ffs, my dad's name is Gabriel, my mind took so fucking long😂

Also, what do you mean some people pronounce Rafael as Rafa-yel??? That name I read it right from the first moment, I've always liked it a lot lol. I'm still confused as to how people say the nickname though, because it is written as "Rafe", but I've never heard that nickname to someone named Rafael, just "Rafa". Idk, I just say the full name lmao

I just want David to be fucking happy and I'm ready to get into a fistfight for him ok??? The way everyone keeps describing him in LBAF with a sad face and knowing something is up because David used to smile even in his sleep?!?!? 😭😭😭

I love how Jackson literally looked at David and went: "This is the gayest, horniest, most fucked up person with traumas I've ever met. I'm keeping him. This is my human now. I will protect him at all costs and kill for him without hesitation." In every universe, makes me soft 🥰

You better pay for my therapy, because now I can't hear the word "louder" and not have war flashbacks of that asshole of Malory 😡

Fun fact: I use art and music as foreshadowing A LOT. Including rapunzel - and Paradise Lost and some other stuff in LBAF V hehe.

I might write David's Never Have I Ever next. It's the only one I have a proper/concrete idea on. But I keep second guessing like "could it be worse????" lmao.

MILO THATCH GIRLIES ARE BISEXUAL I SAID WHAT I SAID.

No one else other than mavid family ever finds out about what really happened to David. It's what he wanted so they let him have that :)

NO NOT YOU PRONOUNCING GABRIEL LIKE A WHITE PERSON NOAH WHAT IN THE HECK.

Jackson rights only. Always.