#when she finally feels comfortable enough to really unmask and be herself around people it's just open season i think

[vinvantae]

Unmasked

Part 11/16

<<< previous part

Word count - 4.1k

warnings - minor injury. lots of social media posts. chapter starts off in first person!!

***

It’s a comfortably warm morning in Monaco, the café I’ve been asked to go to is quaint - tucked away in a narrow street off of the beaten path but you get a perfect view of anyone coming towards you. A waiting game to see which of the people who cross my path is going to be her. I can’t help but study every woman who steps onto the cobblestones, but as soon as I see none other than Charles Leclerc come around the corner, hand in hand with a woman - it all clicks into place.

Y/n y/l/n is Thirty.

Both of them greet me with a smile and a warm handshake as they step inside the cafe - bringing a cool breeze in as they open the door. Charles looks smart in a linen shirt, chain around his neck, and a watch more expensive than a regular person’s annual salary on his wrist. And y/n looks effortlessly beautiful in a sundress to complement the warm weather, before I can start digging into her being Thirty I have to ask about her perfume - her signature smell is to die for. She laughs, pulling out a travel size from her purse to offer it to me, swearing she has a full size at home.

As you can imagine, I have a lot of questions. But let’s just start at the beginning, how did the whole Faceless driver idea come about?

Y/n leans back in her seat a little, Charles’ tanned arm is draped lazily across the back and he uses his hand to squeeze her shoulder.

Ferrari were really interested in having me as part of the team but it was risky y’know? A woman, let alone an 18 year old woman in one of the top teams was unheard of.

She pauses as the waiter takes our order, Charles ordering for us all in Italian - I can’t help but notice the way y/n studies him, a soft sparkle in her eye. Their relationship seems easy and when she turns her attention back to me, she seems a little more sure of herself.

I was part of the Ferrari academy since I joined GP3, but that and then F2 just never felt truly challenging to me and I craved more. F1 was where I belonged, it was just about getting there. I believe it was Maurizio Arrivabene who ended up suggesting keeping my identity a secret. The press from that alone brought in more sponsors than the team had ever seen and as you know, Ferrari has never had much difficulty with that.

Her answers are rehearsed, not in a media trained way, but in a way of a woman who has had to keep her identity a secret for her whole career and is finally getting to speak the truth. I understand why she would want Charles here, her teammate and boyfriend is a calming presence - keeping quiet as he knows she deserves the spotlight after all these years.

You never won a championship in F2, how did you convince them that you were good enough for F1?

She takes a sip of her drink, taking a deep breath before softly shrugging her shoulders as if she’s not entirely sure herself.

I spent a lot of time in simulators and they could see what I could do on track from the races in F2 and GP3 that I did win. I like to think it was never a question of if I was talented enough for F1, not to be cocky, but I knew I was - it was whether or not it was worth risking me in Ferrari or if maybe I should start in a sister team. But in the end, it was for the best. I won them two championships after all, so I’d like to think that it was worth it.

Speaking of championships, not only are you the only woman to win the WDC but also the youngest overall, how did you feel?

A fond smile tugs at her lips and she reaches into her bag to pull out a small stack of photos. She slides one across the table to me - it’s of her in her driver’s room, helmet off but still in her full kit with her arms wrapped around the trophy that won her the title. I asked her who took it and she told me it was ‘Seb’ - Sebastian Vettel.

I was so overwhelmed. Everything I had ever dreamed of had come true but I couldn’t share it with anyone outside of Team Thirty and, of course, Seb. He brought a bottle of champagne up to my room and we drank the whole thing. It was one of the best days of my life, wouldn’t change it. If being faceless was what gave me the opportunity to accomplish my dream? Then I’m grateful for it.

And then you won your second in 2018, how was that?

Even better than the first time. Lewis and I had such an intense rivalry for those couple of years that it was such a strong feeling of victory. We raced so well against each other and really brought out the best in each other, I think. I’m not sure if he feels the same but I’m glad that we got to share that experience.

The couple both offer me another drink in unison when they notice I’ve finished mine, sharing a soft laugh when they realise. Charles leans over and presses a gentle kiss to her temple before taking our empty cups up to the counter to get us some more coffees. The two seemed so in sync as teammates, it’s no surprise that they work well as a couple too.

How was the transition when Charles joined the team? You’d been teammates with Sebastian for your entire career up until that point.

Honestly? It was a little scary at first. Seb was a mentor for me and when I had to meet Charles properly for the first time I was worried about how he would react. But, he’s been nothing but good to me. Before we started dating he’d always sneak into my driver’s room to keep me company and made sure that no matter how my race went - I had someone to talk to about it. He’s become my rock and I’m so lucky to have him.

He pushes me to be better, but has never let me be anything but myself.

When Charles returns to the table with a tray with fresh cups of coffee, he hands them out to us before sitting down - shuffling his chair closer to y/n so he can fully drape his arm across her shoulders. She relaxes in his hold, looking away from me for a moment to thank him for the drinks.

I know we’re interviewing y/n, but Charles, what was it like having to keep formula one’s biggest secret?

Difficult. He frowns a little. The amount of times I wanted to properly congratulate y/n or correct people when they said he was insane. I know I may get in trouble for this but I think keeping her hidden for so long was a mistake. Other women and girls should’ve been able to know that one of them was a formula 1 racer and a champion. She’s one of the greatest of our generation and she should’ve been celebrated properly.

I can see she’s touched by Charles’ words, despite - I’m sure - he’s said them to her before. This article is about learning about Thirty, yes, but I don’t think I can truly do that justice without talking about how the pair of them interact. I’m not sure whether it’s the years they’ve been teammates or the time they’ve been a couple but they just complement each other so easily.

So, you were teammates through 2020 and 2021, how did this relationship happen and why now?

The two of them share a look, one - as a journalist - I’m familiar with; whilst they do truly seem to care for each other, I have a suspicion there’s something they can’t tell me. But I don’t press.

I think during 2020 we were still just strangers, getting to know each other as people and as teammates. We didn’t spend a whole lot of time together outside of Team Thirty meetings or on the track y’know? And then 2021 I was in that title fight right up to the end so it just didn’t seem like the right time as I couldn’t really give him the attention he deserved.

We did begin to really become friends during 2021, he would make the extra effort to see me outside of meetings. And whilst Charles has since told me that he’s had these feelings for a long time, it took me a little longer. We’re definitely a case of he fell first, but I fell harder. I’m so smitten with this boy, you have no idea.

Charles was watching her as she spoke, the undeniable pink tinge of his cheeks was hard to miss. No matter what they were keeping to themselves, it was clear the two of them were very happy together. But it was time for more questions about the Thirty of it all.

So, why now? You’ve been faceless for nearly 6 years, what changed?

Well, after it leaked that I was a woman and I won the race in Imola - Team Thirty and I had a very big meeting about it. I’ve been ready to face the world for a while but with the team determined for another championship win this year, it was originally put on the back burner. But, I knew it was time. This year I could win my 3rd title and I wanted to do it with my face, my name not just a number.

I’ve also had so much support from both Charles and Sebastian with this. They helped me figure out just what to say to the team to convince them that now is the right time. I don’t know how long I’ve got left in this sport but I want to be here as y/n for at least some of it.

She excuses herself from the table to go to the restroom, that same fragrance from before following her as she walks past me. Charles sips at his coffee before leaning forward a little as if he’s got something juicy to share. I can’t help but be intrigued, leaning in also to listen.

She’s gonna do it, you know. The WDC is hers this year.

What about you? I ask. Shocked that he’d admit it about his teammate, he’s the Tifosi’s golden boy and is ahead of her in terms of points. He simply smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

I think now she’s got this out in the open, there’s truly nothing holding her back. She’s going to be unstoppable behind the wheel- this weight of her secret won’t weigh her down anymore. Yes, I want to be world champion, and you bet I’m going to fight for it until the very end… but I would be lying if I didn’t think she deserved it.

He straightens up in his seat as she returns, smiling as she leans down to kiss him before taking her seat - asking if she missed anything important. I know she’ll read what Charles said when the article is released but for now I keep it to myself, simply shaking my head.

Okay, let’s mix it up, get to know y/n a little more. What is your favourite track and why?

I think Bahrain is always going to hold a special place in my heart, I got my first win there. But, if I had to choose an all time favourite…I think it has to be a tie between Imola and Monza. Being surrounded by the Tifosi in such hoards really makes you want to do your best. Seeing oceans of red as you drive around is inspiring knowing all these people are in your corner. Now, I know in recent years, they’ve taken a particular liking to a certain Monaco native but they always showed me nothing but support and I hope they continue to do so now they know who I am.

Speaking of the Tifosi, do you have anything you want to say to them?

I mostly want to thank them for being my biggest supporters despite not knowing who was beneath the helmet. Thank you a million over Tifosi, I love you guys more than you’ll ever know.

Who was your racing hero growing up?

Oh there’s so many drivers out there I love but Susie Wolff for sure - she’s such an inspiration to women everywhere. And I know it’s probably silly but Lella Lombardi too, I know she only got half a point in her career but she made it into formula one when everything was against her and other women. But as a kid, it had to be Michael Schumacher. I met him a couple of times and he was nothing but kind to me. He was always honest with me that it was going to be tougher being a girl but he always believed in me and that… that was everything.

We’ve also heard through the grapevine that you’ve been approached by several other teams for next season, anything we should know there?

She smiles softly before shaking her head. Ferrari have actually matched the best offer I received, but at the end of the day they’re the team I want to race with so we’ve extended my contract for at least one more season - hopefully more. Besides, I’ve got the best teammate a girl could ask for.

Charles chuckled softly. Back at you, mon amour.

I think that’s all I really have to ask for now, thank you both so much for meeting with me. I’m not sure what I expected but you exceeded my expectations.

Oh wow, thank you so much. Thank you for being so kind… If I ever need to do another interview, you’ll be the first person I call. That’s for sure.

So there you have it, y/n y/ln is our mystery driver. I don’t know about you but I cannot wait to see what she does now that she’s been unmasked. This season has just got very interesting.

***

***

You weren’t a fool, you knew there was going to be a little push-back to your reveal - but there was a very loud minority who made it abundantly clear just how much they hated you, that they just didn’t believe you could possibly be the driver they had been supporting all these years. Within an hour of GQ releasing the article, #NotMyThirty was trending within the F1 community. They’d called you every insult under the sun and it was hard to focus on the praise when they were so loud and the press focused so much on the criticism. It didn’t help that once you’d been revealed, a certain Redbull team principal decided you weren’t worth the offer they made and he very publicly retracted it.

“Y/n, cherie.” You felt the mattress sink next to you as Charles sat beside you on the bed - the duvet pulled over your head. “We need to go soon, have a plane to catch.”

“...why don’t they just get Jenson to do it. Or better yet, get Michael up and on his feet so he can get in the car when I couldn’t possibly be a two time world champion.” You grumbled. “I’m just a stupid paddock-bunny.”

Charles frowned softly. “Hey. Those idiots have no idea what they’re talking about. You’re one of the greatest talents of our generation, they’re just jealous fools who couldn’t get into the sport if they tried.”

The Monegasque smiled softly as you peeked over the top of the duvet. It was hard for you to believe him but you knew he was going to sit there until he got you out of bed - so you put on your best fake smile. “You always know just what to say, huh?”

He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, pulling a gentle hum from you. “Mhmm hmm, I’ve got a talent for it. Now seriously, get your beautiful butt out of bed… we’ve got a flight to catch.”

You weren’t sure what to expect when you arrived in Miami, Charles’ hand wrapped around yours as you both stepped into the paddock. The cameras and press were on you in a literal flash, you simply smiled and waved a little. “Hey, y/n, look.”

When you followed the direction of Charles’ finger, your heart skipped a beat when you saw fans at the barrier with signs for you. The loud minority who despised you were currently nowhere to be seen - people shouting and cheering. Your boyfriend was positively beaming as he tugged you over to them, you couldn’t believe people actually wanted your autograph and pictures with you.

You could feel tears prickling in your eyes when a young girl told you just how much it meant to her that she had a female idol in the sport. It was hard not wrap your arms around her and never let go so instead you took a photo with her. “I got you a present… made it as soon as I found out you were a girl like me, it’s a bit messy ‘cus I didn’t have a lot of time.”

As you held your hand out, she slipped a bracelet around your wrist - it was made out of chunky plastic beads; flowers, fake pearls and the word Thirty written out in pink. It was the girliest thing you had ever seen but you could tell just how much it meant to the girl - her little eyes sparkling as she waited for your response.

“I love it! Thank you so much!” You grinned. “Hey, I’ve got something for you as well.”

You took your cap off of your head and scribbled your signature on the brim before sitting it atop her head. “Think this suits you much better.”

Your heart felt full as she turned to her Dad and bounced with glee, showing off her brand new present. You smiled softly and as you turned to Charles, you were suddenly hit with a sharp pain in the side of the head, right by your eyebrow - making you wince and reach up, eyes widening when you pulled your hand back and you saw blood on your fingers. You only just saw a glimpse of security dragging a man shouting expletives away from the crowd. “Oh my god, y/n, are you okay?”

“Yeah uh… what..” You blinked a few times, feeling a little dizzy, eyes scanning the floor to see what he’d hit you with - eyes landing on a crumpled up can, as you pushed your toe against it, you could feel there was still some liquid in it. “I… I uh…I think I should probably go to the medical centre, just to be safe.”

“Of course, shit, yeah.” Charles looped an arm around your waist and helped you through the paddock. Before you left, you caught the eyes of the young girl again and the look on her face broke you - she looked terrified. She was the walking personification of how you felt in that moment.

You had to fight back the tears as the two of you walked through the paddock - the memory of meeting some of your fans for the first time, tainted forever by that one dickhead in a Redbull cap. You were expecting some hatred, but you weren’t expecting physical violence. As you stepped into the medical centre, you were immediately ushered into a room and patched up.

“I can’t believe he did that, cherie. I’m so sorry… I-I should’ve been paying better attention.”

Your brow furrowed as you got up from the exam table, the medic having left the two of you alone. Charles stood against the wall, head lowered as you crossed the room to join him.

“Hey, hey.” You took his face in your hands. “Don’t you dare, you couldn’t have known he was going to do that… I… I’m starting to think this was a mistake.”

“Y/n-”

You shook your head. “I’m sorry, I just… I knew there was going to be some backlash but, I’m not sure I’m cut out for this…”

“Cherie-”

“Can I just be alone for a little while, please? I’ll catch up with you later.”

Your teammate’s eyes flickered across you, you could tell he wanted to protest but instead he pressed a chaste kiss to your lips before leaving you alone. The lights in the room hummed softly as you sat down in the empty chair beside the exam table, covering your face with your hands and letting out a soft sob.

Being unmasked was what you’ve wanted for as long as you could remember, but you hadn’t taken the time to really think about exactly what that meant. That your face, your name would be out there for everyone to pick apart. You wanted to put on a brave face and go out there, pretend it didn’t bother you but it did.

None of your achievements mattered - all that they cared about is that you were a woman, a fake, the drivers’ personal mattress. And your relationship with Charles was thrown right back in your face, the defending Ferrari was supposed to be doing didn’t seem to be helping at all. Any time the PR team spoke to the press, people always had some sort of comeback - another reason to add to the list of why you didn’t deserve any of it.

You rubbed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to shove all of the cruel accusations to the back of your head as you left the medical centre. As you turned towards the Ferrari motorhome, you saw Lewis leant against the wall - foot propped up against the wall as he scrolled on his phone, no one even batting an eye at him. He looked up at the sound of the door closing and gave you a gentle smile, pushing his phone into his pocket. “Hey, I just came to check if you’re okay. I heard what happened.”

“Said it was gonna come up as a bit of a black-eye but I’ll be alright.” You shrugged.

“I’m more worried about how you’re feeling, y/n. I know no one knows what you’re going through right now but I’ve been through similar enough crap to know that it’s not fun being singled out for something you can’t help.” His voice was soft as he stepped closer. “And I know it’s easier said than done but you just gotta try and ignore it.”

“...I don’t know if I can.” Your voice cracked. “Th-They’re attacking insecurities I didn’t even know I had. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this, Lewis.”

He looked around the paddock before checking his watch. “We’ve got some time, come with me.”

You lowered your head and followed your fellow driver into the Mercedes motorhome through a back entrance and up to his room - his dark eyes flickering back to you to make sure you were following close behind him. With a hand on the small of your back he ushered you into his room, closing the door behind. “You should probably text Charles, let him know you’re here.”

“Uh yeah… Yeah, good idea.”After texting your boyfriend, you sat beside your rival on the sofa, his arm draped across the back. “They’re going to crucify me if I have any bad races. Any mistake, any slip up… they’re going to drag me to hell and back. I just… I know I should ignore it, I do, but it’s hard to ignore when it’s smacking me in the side of the face.”

“”I know, I get it. I’ve been there… you just need to try and remember you’re not alone. I’ve got your back, so do Charles, Max and Sebastian. Don’t disappear into yourself, okay?” His voice was gentle but firm, but it just felt so quiet compared to the throbbing pain you felt in your temple.

You nodded. “Yeah, I know. Thank you… I should get going.”

You were taken a little aback when you were pulled into a hug as you stood, his strong arms would’ve made you feel safe in any other circumstance you were sure - but you just felt so defeated by it all. You gave him a gentle squeeze before heading towards your own garage, Charles throwing you a worried look from his side - still unsure how you’d ended up with Lewis. You simply nodded at him before popping into a side room to get into your racegear, ready to get into the car for the first time without your mask on.

“Hey, how’s the suit fit?” Your trainer approached you, a gentle smile on his face. “Must feel good that it’s finally got your name on it, right?”

“Uh yeah, it fits good.” To the untrained eye, the smile on your face was simply of a distracted person - getting ready to race, but Charles could read you like a book and he just knew something was wrong. Something more than a slight headache and the bruise blossoming around your eye was weighing you down and getting into the car in the mental headspace you were in was trouble waiting to happen.

But before he could cross over to you, try and clear your head just a little bit, he was summoned for first practice - one of his mechanics ushering him over to his car, allowing the driver to get one final glance at you as you pulled your helmet over your head.

All he could do now was hope that you wouldn’t get in your own way - as having a bad weekend would just sink you deeper into the feeling you weren’t good enough. You were a champion for a reason. But the minority who despised you were tearing you down, blocking your view from who you truly were and he hated that.

You took a deep breath from inside the cockpit, trying your best to block out the voices bouncing around your head as your engineer went over the programmes you would be running during the session. You just had to do well this weekend, no, not just well… you had to win. Everything was resting on your shoulders, they expected results now you were unmasked.

And you were terrified of what they’d do if you didn't.

***

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Next part >>>

Really hope you guys enjoyed this one!! There will be no chapter next weekend because I’m going to Silverstone 🏎️

Thank you for all your support on this fic!

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[baby--charchar]

Baby Vaggie and Autism!

Cw: description of a meltdown, based on my own experiences having them. Absolutely okay if anyone needs to skip this.

So it goes without saying that Vaggie is straight up autistic, not just autistic when she's regressed. However, Big Vaggie had been trained to SEVERELY mask as an exorcist, where there was no tolerance for burnout, sensory issues, or social fatigue. It probably crossed the lines into straight up abuse multiple times.

In Hell, she still tries to keep up that mask. Her urge to protect Charlie and her team leads her to giving herself no leeway to accommodate herself. I think that while she overall thrives with her newfound family, her constant masking is still tearing her apart. She likely had many shut-downs that others misinterpreted as her just being moody.

Learning to unmask probably began as it's own process apart from regression. But I feel that they likely converged after one major meltdown. Vaggie felt like a pressure cooker about to explode with everything going on, then something relatively small happened to break the camel's back so to speak. One minute she's silent on the couch in the lobby, filling out legal paperwork, then the next she's screaming her lungs out and flipping the table.

I imagine her meltdowns as rare but SEVERE. Lots of screaming, hyperventilating, pacing around the room, banging her head, and biting herself. Months and months of that pressure releasing in one instantaneous explosion.

Charlie would be so scared and wouldn't know what to do. She just wants to hold Vaggie, but every time she tries, Vaggie just panics more.

Lucifer doesn't REALLY have experience with this, but he has strong "papa bear" instincts for both of his girls. He lets Vaggie ride it out just until she's no longer being unsafe. After which he places his hands on her shoulders and gently guides her towards the elevator. He keeps repeating, "You're safe, you're okay. We're going to your room. We're gonna rest." She's still sobbing, but she starts to untense the more he assures her.

Once they're home, Vaggie is still overwhelmed but is doing better. She wants Charlie's touch and is squeezing her HARD, mustering up as much deep pressure as she can. Lucifer gets her some water in a sippy cup (sensing where Vaggie is headed) and it helps.

By the time she's recovered, she is VERY deep into baby space. Enough to where she's struggling to sit up and walk on her own. Lucifer gets her changed and into her favorite pajamas. It's not long before she slips into sleep.

Moving forward, Charlie and Lucifer try encouraging Vaggie to unmask: find stims she likes, rest more, whatever that means for her to make herself more comfortable. Big Vaggie is naturally resistant, always pushing herself to do more, to BE more for the hotel. But Baby Vaggie? You don't have to tell her twice.

Baby Vaggie feels safe with Charlie and Lucifer. She's finally relaxed enough to follow her own instincts, whether that be how she moves her body, how she gets her point across, or just how she entertains herself.

Vaggie is completely nonverbal, but finds other ways to communicate. She knows that if she screams long enough, someone will come pay attention to her. She really likes that system, so there is LOTS of screaming. They get good at recognizing what different screams mean, like "I want food," "I need to be changed," or just, "I want to spend time with someone."

Charlie makes her a small communication card and keeps it clipped to a lanyard that Vaggie can wear. It has all her favorite foods, toys, and people, for when she really needs to be specific.

She also keeps a large chewie on that lanyard. Without it, Vaggie's prone to putting nearly anything in her mouth, be it her clothes, blankets, crayons, whatever. All her shirts have tiny little holes from her gnawing.

Vaggie has lots of sensory needs. Some of them, like food and smells, she's very restrictive about. She has very few foods she'll eat in her headspace, and abhors any lotions or powders on her skin.

For other senses, she just can't get enough of them. As a former soldier who was VERY active, her body's used to heavy input to her muscular and balance systems (proprioception and vestibular). This honestly scared Lucifer at first because she would do some very unsafe things to soothe her body, like running into walls at full speed or climbing up on the kitchen counters. It took him a long time to realize what the hell she was doing, let alone how he could help her.

But once he got it, he got it. He set up so many "sensory stations" for her in both his room as well as Vaggie's. She's got trampolines, a crash pad, a swing attached to the ceiling, and a baby bouncer custom built for her. She can have SO much energy and often ends up running between all four of these when she's regressed.

It's important to note that she's on trampoline #4. Numbers 1-3 were just no match for her boundless energy.

Side note: that boundless energy may also come at night, as Vaggie has a hard time regulating her sleep. Lucifer is such a Bewildered Dad over her, but their late nights have made way for good bonding time. Vaggie honestly feels just as safe with Lucifer as she does Charlie. Her little family.

Vaggie can be very repetitive with what she enjoys, especially TV or music. She can play the same 3-second clip over and over again and bust out laughing every time.

Vaggie also loves COLORS. Her blocks are her favorite toy because of just how many beautiful colors they come in. Pastels, primaries, jewel tones, you name it. She loves sorting them by color, shade, tones, etc.

Baby Vaggie is a huge fan of messy play. Charlie loves playing in the sandbox or pool with her, and splashing is so mesmerizing to her. She also loves just getting into things, like makeup, slime, food, shower gels, whatever. She can absolutely DEMOLISH a room.

But that comes with the stipulation that she gets to be clean after! The jetted tub in their room is her favorite place to be after a long day being big or little! She just has to be watched very closely by someone so she can stay safe (and of course, NOT destroy the bathroom).

Because being little is the only time Vaggie seems to not want to suppress herself, Charlie encourages her to regress often. She loves Baby Vaggie! And Vaggie always seems so much more content after a couple of hours in babyspace. It's just a good balance, and it's a system that works for them!

[thelostrainbowthenovel]

Friendships: Tia's Friends

Finally continuing on with these! I didn't mean to wait so long after the first one with Nate, but life has been kind of hectic for me so far this year that I never had the proper time or motivation to continue them. But, now that I have some more free time I want to fix that, so here is the next 'friendships' post with Hestia! Like previously stated on Nate's, these are just the friendships she has with the created/established characters, but in reality she might have a few more than these ones. I hope you enjoy~!

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- Feorian Friends

. Emberleigh: One of Hestia's only and oldest friends, as they met when they were teens just after she started her junior training for the army. As Emberleigh is 5 years older than her, their friendship originally started off as a mentoring sort of one, where Emberleigh helped train Tia with her high skill and knowledge in combat. Their dynamic was this way for a long while, before they slowly started to open up to each other about non-combat-related things. Their friendship is a very refreshing one for Tia, as she does not have many close female friends and she sees Emberleigh as an older sister figure. Since Emberleigh's recent retirement from the army they have not interacted as much, but Tia still values their friendship all-the-same and every once in a while they will meet to catch up on all that has been happening in their lives.

. Tyson: Someone she has only known for a short time so far, but who she has unexpectedly found herself spending more time with. Although their fathers are close friends and Ty's father is Feor's top general, they never had too many interactions growing up until Ty's recent enrollment in the army. Tia is not sure yet if she would consider him a friend, as she does often get exhausted with his constant playfulness and joking manner, but there is something about him that still brings a small smile to her face. Though she is always scolding him for not taking things seriously all the time, she also finds him to be very endearing, as he is one of the only people her age who properly respects and treats her as a person. The moments where he acts all soft and adoring with her has also left her with an "unusual" feeling inside, one she is not really sure of yet what it means but one she is welcomed to, even if she won't admit it yet.

- The Other Main Characters:

. Ignatius: Although he is her brother, they have always been very close, ever since their childhood. During the early years of her life she only stuck next to him or their parents, as she always had a hard time trusting or socializing with her peers. She has always valued having her older brother in her life, as he always was protective of her and looked out for her best interest and encouraged her to pursue her dreams, even when others didn't. She has felt the most comfortable unmasking and being her true self around him, and they have both been each other's biggest confidants and first choice when they need to vent to someone. Even with some of their occasional squabbling moments, they have retained a strong bond to this day, with Tia now taking more of a protective role in their sibling relationship as she wants to help protect her brother's privacy and happiness from ignorant and prejudiced people.

. Brooke: Someone she has always been fairly friendly with, even before the main adventure. They were never quite close enough to be considered friends, and Tia was wary of him for the longest time knowing him and her older brother were childhood rivals, but she never had much of a problem with him. Sure his outgoingness was a little much for her at first, but in time she eases up and gets to know him better, finding it relieving they have some things in common such as both of them being neurodivergent. She always found him to be pretty cool to talk to, and with one of her special interests being pirates and Mareasian history in general, she always looked forward to getting to talk to him during conference meetings and asking him all the questions she has from her reading without the fear of judgement. Their relationship does get more tense during the main adventure after the secret of his and Nate's relationship gets out, as things get awkward and Tia becomes unsure of how to interact with him as she processes all of their history together, but eventually they come to an understanding of each other and become good friends. She is happy seeing how much he makes her brother happy, and sees him like her "big brother-in-law" even before him and Nate get officially married.

. Amaya: They have had a lot of interactions over the years, especially as Tia is closest in age to her, but with her difficulty making or calling people her friends they are not quite to a friendship level at the current time. She knew from when they were younger that Maya always wanted to be her friend, but it took Tia a long time to warm up to her. Their friendship kicks off mainly after the main events, as the more they had a chance to speak together the more they found they had in common. Both relate on having high expectations and ideas placed on them to be and do other things than who they actually are as people even when they have made their stances on their respective matters quite clear, and having more artistic past-times, specifically dance for Maya and music for Tia. Whenever they get a chance to see each other and have the time to, they usually like to combine their talents into a little performance, and it was working on their first performance together that really cemented their friendship, though also just talking and getting to know each other more. Tia comes to feel comfortable in having someone so sweet and patient for a friend, and Maya is always happy and honored knowing someone amazing like Tia feels so comfortable and relaxed around her, with them having a sweet but little bit playful friendship on Maya's part.

. Talia: These two have rarely interacted on their own, mostly because neither has really felt any kind of gravitation to try and get to know the other better. Talia knows that she gets along with Maya but never personally paid her much mind with her quietness, meanwhile Tia would be a bit exhausted with her energy but it is through Maya that they would start to understand each other more. Having a mutual interest in the arts they have some common interests that help come up with things to talk about, and through talking with each other more they start to have a little more of a 'playful' dynamic, with Talia acting as a cool, teasing older sister figure that would try to bring out Tia's expressiveness more. Tia also learns to admire her passion and see how she is not as vain or shallow as the Arianian nobles think, and was pleasantly surprised to find that Talia has more of an interest in fighting and physical activity than some others would think with her more glamorous appearance.

. Gaia: She has had a few friendly interactions with Gaia before, mainly through the Alliance and them both being princesses, but that was the extent of their relationship for the longest time. Since there is a 7 year age-gap between them, it is difficult for them to relate on many things with each other as they have very different life experiences. Though despite that, Tia always felt comfortable speaking with Gaia with her more calm matureness compared to the peers she was surrounded by back in Feor, and she really appreciated Gaia's patience and support for her. Like with the others, her friendship with Gaia mainly starts after the main events, but it is a comfortable one for Tia as she knows she can be her complete self around Gaia instead of putting on a mask or guard like she does with others.

[robinbckleya2]

also robin is such a verbal processor, it drives me crazy, i love it so much

[sapphosvioletts]

Cocooned

Natasha Romanoff x Autistic Daughter

Summary:

Natasha's daughter is exhausted after a day out having to mask. Natasha comes home to find her in her blanket cocoon, so she cuddles with her, and lets her unmask completely and just be herself.

Request: could you please do one with natasha x autistic!daughter!reader where r is having a bad day (from masking) and is cocooned under blankets so nat comes in and gently cuddles in and sings softly, and lets r infodump and stim all r wants

Autistic masking: 'Masking is a complex and costly survival strategy for autistic people. It generally involves intentionally learning neurotypical behaviors and mimicking them in social situations. Sometimes masking focuses on hiding behavior that people feel won't be accepted'

Word count: 1,502

Note: Not every autistic person experiences autism the same. I'm autistic and I am writing from my perspective of how I personally experience autism, but not everyone feels the same as me or has the same perspective as I do.

- the reader is adopted, they are not biologically related. I want my writing to be inclusive to everyone, which is why i am specifying this incase it isn't directly said in the fic

.oOo.

I sigh when I step through the front door, relieved to finally be home. I was out with some friends, and although it was fun, it's left me exhausted. I take my shoes off and drop my bag by the table, even though I know that Natasha is just going to tell me to move it later anyways. I'm too tired at this point to care though.

Masking always leaves me exhausted, and all I the want to do is just lay down and relax for the rest of the day. I don't have the energy to do anything else, even just the thought of actually doing something energy taxing makes me want to cry.

I head to my room first and change into more comfortable clothes. That ended up just being shorts and a sports bra, since it just seemed like all of my shirts would irritate me in someway or another.

I'm about to crash onto my bed, before quickly changing my mind and making the decision to head to my moms room instead. Yes, it would take more energy to get there instead of just laying down on my bed right here, but her room has a tv which takes less energy than pulling out my laptop and watching something on there. Her bed also has a fluffier comforter, which sounds amazing right now.

I grab my favorite blanket, pillows, and my stuffed animal and trudge to Nat's room. I throw them all on her bed and start arranging them the way I like it.

It might sound stupid or even childish to some people, but cocooning myself in a nest of blankets and pillows is the most comforting thing for me. It just makes me feel safe and it's also extremely comfortable, I'm not really sure how to explain it.

Once all of the pillows are stacked just right, I hop in bed with my stuffed animal and pull all of the blankets over and around me, shifting down until the blankets are pulled up to my chin. Between all of the blankets and pillows, I can't even really see anything over them, it's like a big fluffy cloud, which is exactly how I like it.

The TV is mounted high enough that I can at least make it out, so I begrudgingly grab the remote and turn on one of my favorite shows. I've already seen it more times than I could even count, so I don't have to focus too hard on it. I already know what's going to happen and what's going on, so I can just relax and listen to it.

I pull the blankets back up to my chin and hug my knees to my chest as I lay on my side, my stuffed animal tucked between my knees and chest. I close my eyes and just let myself relax in my little cocoon.

.oOo.

Natasha is slightly confused when she calls out to me that she's home and doesn't get a response. She sets her things down and makes her way to my room. She starts getting more worried when she pops her head into my room and doesn't see me. She decides to check her room before she allows herself to completely panic though, and she's glad she did.

She smiles when she sees the pile of pillows and blankets on her bed, knowing that I'm under there somewhere. Before she knows it she's walking over to me, feeling overwhelmed with love and adoration for her daughter, and she hasn't even seen her yet.

As she gets closer I finally see her, which makes me smile. "Hi mom" I mumble, trying to get my arms out of the mountain of blankets to hug her. She smiles even wider and sits on the bed next to me. "Hey honey" I finally get my arms free and she leans down so I can hug her waist. She kisses the top of my head as she pulls away.

"Let me get changed and then I'll join you." I nod and so she gets up and grabs some clothes, quickly changing in the bathroom. When she's back I hold up the blankets for her so she can slide in under. She crawls into bed carefully, trying her best not to ruin how I have everything set up, knowing that I like it a specific way.

I rearrange the blankets again once shes settled and she patiently waits for me, watching me with a small smile on her lips. I lay back down, resting my head on her chest. Her arms wrap around me and hug me with the perfect amount of pressure.

My hand immediately finds the string of her hoodie and starts fidgeting with it. Natasha doesn't mind at all, she happily lets me stim. She doesn't say anything about my shaking and bouncing foot either, although she could feel it, she really doesn't mind it at all. She knows all about stimming, and she's sure as hell not going to stop me. Why should she? If it's something that comes naturally to me and can be harmful to me if I don't do it, she sees absolutely no reason to be annoyed with it, she even encourages it. She only wishes others could see it the same way as well.

"How was your day, love?" Nat asks softly. "It was fun, I'm just really tired now." I shrug. She knows that I really mean from masking, she understands what I'm trying to say. "What about yours?" I ask. "It was alright. I saw these beautiful orchids at the store today while I was passing by, maybe we'll need to go sometime and get some." She smiles, knowing exactly what she's intending to do by bringing up my special interest.

She loves my special interests, she loves how enthused I get by them and the way my eyes light up when I get to talk about it. She knows that I've been conditioned by the neurotypical world to keep my tangents to myself, and she hates that I've been made to feel annoying or bad for ranting about something I love so much. So every chance she gets, she lets me go on and on about whatever I'm interested in, she knows how much it means to me as well.

She also knows that if she starts talking about one of my special interests, it will give me the opportunity to start infodumping, which is why she chose to mention that. "That would be nice, I haven't had many orchids before. I'm not sure why, since they're so popular, they're everywhere."

I start to ramble, not even thinking about what I'm saying, just finally being able to completely let myself go and just let myself be how I'm supposed to. I'm not worrying about my tone, my facial expressions, my movements, I'm not worrying about anything. It's like my mind is blank, but in a good way. I'm just able to be myself without having to think about anything.

"One species of orchids is actually considered one of the ugliest flowers in the world. It's the Gastrodia Agnicellus, they said it was too fleshy and brown." Natasha laughs at the new information. "How would you even rank the ugliest flowers?" She asks through her contagious laughter.

Once my own laughter dies down, which was caused by hers, I respond. "I don't know, cause I feel like just having it look too fleshy doesn't make it ugly enough. I don't know, I feel like the Kadupul should be considered the ugliest. Yeah it can be really pretty, but it rarely ever blooms and on the occasion that it does, it only blooms at night but then dies before the sun even comes up so by the time you even see it, it's dead. I feel like a flower that is dead most of the time is the ugliest."

Natasha stares at me lovingly as I ramble on about where flowers should be ranked. She can tell that I've finally unmasked, finally just letting myself be me. She's unbelievably honored that I trust her enough to completely let go around her, and she's extremely thankful for it. She'll always be thankful to see me at the times I'm the happiest and most relaxed, which for me are when I'm completely unmasked.

After a while, I eventually start to become tired. Our conversation wraps up, thankfully because I don't think I could keep my eyes open any longer. Natasha rubs soothing circles on my back once she senses how tired I am.

Her other hand holds the back of my head to her chest, massaging my scalp. She then starts singing softly, aware that her velvety voice will always bring me to sleep. She watches as my hand stimming with her hoodie string slowly becomes still and heavy on her chest as I finally fall asleep from the vibrations in her chest and her soft voice.

[soulmate-game]

Useful Part 2

fluff with a little hurt and comfort. If you want answers as to the lack of angst, look through my recent posts for an explanation. 

—* — * — * —* —* 

“Wait, you have a WHAT?” were the first words that the rest of the Gotham-based vigilantes heard when they finally were able to track down where Damian had gone. Dick looked over at Bruce, who was noticeably tense. No surprise there, the man had just found out that he had a second biological child. One who was apparently a superhero already, without his intervention, and also apparently had a tragic background in the League of fucking Assassin Assholes. Not to mention that Damian’s track record with meeting siblings wasn’t great, even if this one wasn’t actually new to him. Nobody had any real fear of Damian relapsing on his no-kill rule, they knew he had matured far too much to be at risk of killing for something as immature as sibling rivalry anymore. 

But there was still fear. Because this new Wayne was an Unknown Factor, and as a rule the Bats hated Unknown Factors. And they had no idea what the relationship between the two had been before they had been separated, or what it would become now. 

“That wasn’t Damian’s voice,” Dick helpfully pointed out the obvious. Bruce only frowned, doing his best (and failing) to hide his anxiety about what they would find. Silently, the group inched forward to the edge of the abandoned building they were on top of so that they could look over at what was happening. What they saw was a girl, presumably the same one who had been in a ladybug onesie and had fearlessly begun to ask them to leave Paris— until she had laid proper eyes on Robin and fled, that was. That girl was sitting down next to an unmasked Damian, who had his arm around her shoulders and let her lean into his side. He even smirked cheerfully at her question before continuing to speak to her. 

“A dragon-bat. I knew you’d love hearing about him, I’ll introduce you when you come visit the Batcave. His name is Goliath,” Damian admitted smugly. Despite the familiar attitude and pride behind his words though, his spying family couldn’t help but notice that he kept periodically rubbing the girl’s (they really needed to find out her name) shoulder in reassurance. None of them missed the tear tracks on both of their faces, or how red the girl’s eyes were. Clearly they had missed something big. 

But nobody wanted to try to figure that out yet. This scene was too precious, too breathtaking for them to interrupt just yet. They had never seen Damian this vulnerable around someone outside of their little circle before, someone from the Time Before Bruce, no less. Most of the time, only Nightwing was able to see this side to Damian. And usually the roles were reversed, with Damian being the one consoled. They had never seen him in the position of the comforter before. The pillar of support. 

It really cemented just how far he had come. 

So they watched silently as the girl flinched, pulling away a bit and hunching in on herself. The laugh she let out was small and overflowing with self-degradation. 

“You make it sound as if the rest of your family actually wants me to visit,” she replied sourly. Damian gently cuffed her over the head, frowning. 

“Two things,” he held up two fingers from his free hand. “One: They will. They accepted me, and I was— well, you remember how I used to be. Once they actually meet you, and process the fact that there’s another Wayne now, they will bombard you with more welcoming than you will know what to do with. Two: It’s Our family, Marinette. Not mine, ours.”

Well, at least they had a name now. But it seems like they had bigger issues now, like Marinette’s clearly damaged sense of self. Jason and Tim traded knowing glances; it wasn’t hard for them to guess where, or how, she might have been damaged enough to think so lowly of herself. 

They watched as Marinette shook her head. 

“I don’t know. It’s one thing to try to… to get to know you again. We used to be close before… everything,” she haltingly argued, voice small and frail and uncertain. But she never once looked away from Damian’s eyes, trying to convey as best as she could what she was feeling. “But they’re different. They don’t have any reason to trust or like me, Dami. And I’m bad at, well everything, but especially,” she waved her hands frantically as if indicating the whole situation they were in. “I mean, listen to me! I can barely articulate right now, and I’m talking to someone I’ve known my whole life! I’m a mess. Nobody wants a mess.” 

It was Damian’s turn to snort, and he pulled her right back into his side. “Please. If anything, that’s exactly the type of child Father goes looking for. We’re all a mess. Especially Father, trust me.” 

“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” she accused suspiciously, but sank into his sideways embrace anyway. Damian chuckled. 

“No, I’m being honest. He’s terrible at emotions, not that I really have much room to talk. We all are pretty bad with them. But he’s the most obvious when it comes to that issue,” Damian smirked over at his sister conspiratorially. “For example. He still tries to tell people that he works alone, and pushes people away because he has this intense desire to protect, but doesn’t know how to say “I don’t want you to get hurt, stop worrying me,” so instead he says “Go away, I don’t need you,” only for us to see through that nonsense and remind him that the amount of people in his team is in the double digits already. He doesn’t want to admit he cares about us and is vulnerable—”

“Sounds familiar,” Marinette teased with a watery grin, startling a short laugh from her twin. He nudged her a little roughly (but not to roughly) and playfully glared at her. Marinette just giggled.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he lied with a grin before waving his free hand in dismissal. “Anyway. Another example. He has no idea how to tell a stranger, “hey, I’m your father and I will not reject you. In fact, I’m completely willing to adopt you right this moment and whisk you away to Gotham and relative safety and hire an entire team of therapists to help you and buy you half the world if you asked for it,” so instead he and the rest of our emotionally constipated family just lurks on the edge of a building in broad daylight eavesdropping on us and expects us not to notice.” 

“Wait what,” Marinette’s gaze instantly whipped up towards the sky, taking only half a second to locate the aforementioned eavesdroppers. Everyone except Bruce at least had the courtesy to duck down and pretend not to be there when they noticed she had seen them, leaving Batman standing seemingly alone on the concrete roof. Marinette blinked once. Twice. Then turned to Damian. “I’m gonna blame the fact that I didn’t notice them on emotional turmoil, because there is no way I’ve gotten THAT rusty.” 

Damian smiled, but didn’t laugh. He knew that was a deflection to try and distract from Marinette’s quickly resurging self-consciousness. Her hands were already trembling again, and the fear from only minutes ago had resurfaced. The insecurity. He could practically see the words “I’m not good enough,” written in her irises. 

“You’ll be fine,” he whispered, standing up and pulling her with him. “If anyone has to worry here, it’s me.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Marinette whisper-hissed right back, eyes wide in disbelief and confusion. “You’re— You! Mister Perfect!” 

Damian rolled his eyes, and his self-deprecating smirk matched the laugh Marinette had given just a few minutes earlier. “For the League, maybe,” he shrugged. “Never the Wayne family. Which is why I know you’ll be fine. If they put up with everything I’ve done and still call me one of them, they’ll accept you with barely a second thought.” 

Marinette’s next argument was cut off by the sound of a dozen soft footfalls stirring up dirt not far ahead of them. The BatClan had landed from the rooftop. 

Marinette gulped. 

But if there was one thing— one thing she still remembered from her days as Marie Al-Ghul, it was how to fake pride and confidence. She straightened her shoulders automatically, lifted her chin, and pulled away from Damian’s supporting arm around her shoulder. Damian let her. 

A little bit of old resentment flared up in him as he saw Batman walk up close enough to comfortably talk with them. Resentment that he no longer held onto, but that had haunted him nearly every night of the first two years he spent with his dad. The realization that maybe his twin was the one that was meant to be a Wayne. Marie had the blue eyes, the compassion, the more specifically detective-oriented mind. The calm head. Sometimes. Marie was exactly who he imagined when he thought of a naturally born member of the BatClan. Stubborn, clever, morally just. She had risked immediate death just because she refused to fight him, for crying out loud. Because she didn’t want to hurt the boy who used to be her best friend. The only ally she had ever had, growing up. 

Meanwhile, he still had issues reigning in his anger sometimes. He had too much blood on his hands, he was more of a battlefield tactician than a long-term strategist. Still stubborn, but also completely unaware of the pain he brought others with his words or actions a lot of the time. He used to be such a rage fueled little demon, and thinking about how his sister fit the classic Wayne outline more thoroughly than he did had made him destroy more than a few practice dummies in frustration. 

But now, looking at Marinette trying so hard to appear strong and proud when he knew she was still so shattered inside, relief overpowered the old and dull resentment. This was what she needed, he could sense that easily. She, just like him all those years ago, needed Bruce and the others to start to heal her and reforge what the League had badly molded. 

“... Marinette, I suppose?” Damian nearly facepalmed at his father’s awkward attempt at a conversation starter. Marinette herself was clearly too keyed up and overthinking things to even register any amusement at the lame attempt, merely nodding with an overly serious expression on her face. 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Monsieur Wayne. Or that’s my name nowadays, that is,” She stumbled a little in her response before clenching her fists and forcing herself to continue as calmly as she could muster up. “My birth name was Marie Al-Ghul.” 

Bruce’s eyebrows visibly furrowed underneath his cowl. “Was?” 

“I…” Marinette finally looked away, shame creeping back onto her face. “I was explicitly told that I was stripped of the Al-Ghul name and would be killed if I ever dared lay claim to it again. So I not-so-legally changed it. And I was later adopted.” 

Several sharp gasps or the hiss of breath through teeth bit through the quiet breeze. Nobody was necessarily surprised, Marinette could see it when she looked through her eyelashes and examined the winces and sympathy on the faces of the vigilantes before her. Batman’s shoulders were stiff, as if someone had paralyzed only his shoulder blades. 

“And the people who adopted you?” Batman pursued. Marinette couldn’t read his tone very well, but it sounded vaguely angry so she quickly raised her hands in a placating gesture and her eyes widened significantly. 

“They’ve been amazing! They don’t know anything about my past, or who raised me, but they are endlessly patient with me. I mean, honestly! Sabine caught me when I was trying to steal one of her gold bracelets in Hong Kong— and I know I’ve never been as good of a combatant as Dami, but I’ve always been better at sleight of hand and stealth so honestly that’s impressive— and she saw my dirty eight-year-old face and for some reason decided, ‘yeah I want this one as my daughter’ and roped Tom right into it and next thing I know they somehow tailed me to my hideout? I still don’t know how the hell they managed that, but Tom had a huge plate of steaming buns and I was so hungry and suddenly it’s two years later and I’m adopted and we’re on a plane to Paris—” Marinette threw up her hands. “I still don’t fully grasp what happened sometimes.” 

She belatedly seemed to realize that she had just gone on an entire breathless rant at the speed of sound, and slapped her hands over her mouth before lunging into a deep bow. “I apologize! I spoke horridly out of turn!” 

To her surprise though, she was met with a soft laugh instead of a scolding. She jerked in surprise, whipping her head up only to see Batman holding a hand over his chin to hide his large grin. It only took another second for the boys behind him to laugh a lot LESS softly. Nightwing strolled over casually and swung an arm around both her and Damian’s shoulders, playfully nudging her brother with his knee. 

“I think she fits right in, don’t you little D?” 

“Of course,” Damian scoffed, though his eyes were playful. “She is a Wayne by blood. She ‘fits in’ more than you strays.” 

“Dami!” Marinette whipped back to him and puffed out her cheeks. “That was uncalled for!” she barked. Damian held his hands up in surrender. 

“Relax,” he said as soothingly as he could manage. “They know I’m joking,” he dropped his hands and a knowing smirk took over his face. “And besides, now you’re relaxed so my plan worked,” Marinette could only blink at that. She… did feel more relaxed, actually. “Also. I told you you’d be accepted easily. They already consider you one of us.” 

“Wha— there’s no way—” she frantically looked at each of the older men around her, but each of them just shot her a smile or grin and a short nod. Her shoulders and jaw both fell, and it broke a little of everyone’s heart. 

Marinette looked so utterly shocked, bewildered to be accepted as if it was still something profoundly foreign to her. And there was that disbelief in her eyes, that distrust that screamed that she expected some sort of lie here. That told that she thought this would all crumble away at any second. If anyone had any reservations about bringing her into their inner circles, it vanished right that moment. She needed support, or she’d crumble away and they all knew it. 

“How about we start by talking about the situation with Hawkmoth?” Red Robin spoke up, walking forward to stand beside Batman. “I assume that’s a little more in your element?” 

Damian silently vowed to thank Tim later for that. In a silent, completely anonymous way of course. Couldn’t have Tim thinking they were friends or something now, could he? Marinette instantly straightened up and nodded, her confidence returning with a little more sincerity this time. 

“Yeah. Yeah, let me transform again. It’ll be easier to explain.” 

—*—*—*—*—*

It was three weeks later, on Marinette’s third now-weekly visit to the Batcave, when the question finally came up. Jason had asked to spar with Marinette for the first time, having seen her in action as Ladybug and wanting to test the girl when she didn’t have superpowers to rely on. Damian hadn’t been down in the cave to warn him, and the result was Jason’s gut sinking as Marinette scrambled as far away from him as she could, eyes wide and chest heaving in the beginnings of a panic attack. 

“Shit,” Jason muttered before he quickly knelt down and did his best to talk her down, to calm her until her breathing slowed and her pupils were back to normal. It wasn’t long afterwards that Marinette started hugging herself, refusing to look at him. But he wasn’t going to just back down, he wanted to solve this issue. If even the mere suggestion of a spar was enough to set her off, he needed to figure out why and fix it. 

So he carefully lowered himself so he was sitting only a foot away from her, resting his arms across his knees casually. 

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Didn’t think it would be a sore subject. That’s on me.” 

Marinette just shrugged, but didn’t answer him. She just buried her face in her arms and took a shaky breath. 

Jason let the silence linger for a while before trying again. “Does this have to do with certain Asshole Assassins?” 

That startled a slightly hysterical bark of laughter from her, and she had to wipe away a few tears when she raised her head and finally turned it in his direction slightly. Not enough for her to be looking at him,  but just a subtle turn to show that she was listening and speaking to him. “Yeah.” 

“You know, you never told us why you got disowned,” Jason tried to make his words as casual as possible, but wasn’t surprised when Marinette still stiffened and took a sharp breath. He didn’t push. The stage was set, and he’d wait until either she took the opportunity to open up or told him to leave well enough alone. Her tongue flicked out to wet her lips, and her foot tapped on the ground a bit. Clear signs of her anxiety around the subject, and Jason’s hopes vanished a little. He would probably have to wait longer for her to be ready to share.

But, to his pleasant surprise, he was wrong. She took another few minutes to gather her thoughts, but she did eventually open up to him. 

“I refused to fight Damian,” she admitted. “It was… We were seven. It wasn’t supposed to be a fight to the death, but it was a very important spar. We were using live weaponry, and we were told to fight until we couldn’t anymore. Whoever fell first would be relegated as a mere soldier, and have to fight for status like any other assassin in the League. The winner would officially be named as G— as Ra’s Heir. I didn’t want to fight, because I knew Damian would win but I also knew that it wouldn’t be as easy as Ra’s probably expected if I gave it my all like he wanted. I knew both Damian and I would be heavily injured if I did as he asked, and it wouldn’t be worth it. If I misjudged anything, any single hit, I could have accidentally injured Damian permanently and ruined his worth in Ra’s eyes, and that wasn’t an option. I didn’t care that throwing the fight was as good as giving up my life, because at least I could be sure that Damian kept his. I could make sure that he was treated well, or as well as anyone could hope for in the League anyway. I could, with only a few words, make sure he became indispensable. Ra’s and Talia never liked me as much as Damian anyway, I figured… I figured it was nobody’s loss,” She swallowed heavily, clenching her eyes shut. “I was always just the spare. The extra. Damian was their crown prince, the one with actual value. Even to me. I saw him, and I saw everything I wanted to be. I… I tossed down my weapons and let him stab me, because I figured I owed it to him for being such a failure in comparison to him. That I owed it to him to do everything I could to make things easier for him, since I was just an unnecessary obstacle—” strong arms wrapped around her, and she turned to sob into Jason’s chest as he just silently held her. 

“Idiot,” Damian whispered, making Marinette jump. Her twin sat only a few feet away, though only Jason would have known when exactly he had gotten there with them. He shook his head at her. “I never would have gotten as far as I did without you,” he whispered, looking up at the cave ceiling. “You were the only real rival I had. When you left, everything was either too easy or nearly impossible, nothing was the same as trying my best against someone who was just as good as me. And when I got here and met the others, I didn’t think any of them were worthy of taking your position, you know,” he scoffed a bit as he got lost in his memories. “That’s why I hated Tim for so long, I think. He reminded me of you so much that I wanted nothing more than to punch him for daring to replace you—”

“Heh, the Replacement twice over, huh?” Jason joked. Damian chuckled with a small eye roll. 

“Plus, he just has a really punchable face,” Damian added, trying to distract from the emotion behind everything he had just admitted. “Part of me thought you were dead. The other part refused to believe that. And seeing Tim and how some of his mannerisms were the same as yours,” Damian shrugged a little. “It stung. Especially that second year, when I started to regret that you never had the chance to come here and join them with me. Meet them with me.” 

Marinette sniffled. “... Who are you and what have you done with Dami? He’s never this sappy.” 

Damian flicked a pebble at her head with a good natured glare, successfully diffusing the serious air a little. Marinette wouldn’t ever be normal, and it would take a while before she was no longer fragile, but she could get there. Especially now that her bridges with her brother had been mended, and and a whole new family had cropped up to help support her. 

She was glad Damian had convinced her to try, again.  

[yungidreamer]

Unmasked

When stress, jealousy, and fears boil over, it doesn’t matter if it’s the right time or place...

Pairing Yunho, Mingi, unnamed fem character, established poly relationship

Content warnings: A little bit of angst to start with, carrying over from unresolved issues from the last section. Oral sex (fem receiving), slight hair pulling, possessiveness, unprotected sex, slightly rough, marking, multiple orgasms, over stimulation.

The whole week had been strained, and it was going to drive the boys crazy. She had been standoffish since the incident on Friday, and at first they could write it off to how busy they had all been. They all had tests this week in more than one of their classes, so the fact that she was studying more, well, it wasn’t unexpected. But by the time she stayed at the library until it closed for the third night in a row, they suspected she was trying to avoid spending as much time with them.

She came home every night, slipping into their shared bed after a shower. It had become a sort of habit for her to take the middle of the bed, letting both the boys take a side each, letting them stretch out both across her and into the spaces her smaller form left at the foot of the bed. But the few times that she slipped off to bed before them, she instead slid herself off to one side, quickly trying to go to sleep before the boys could join her. 

When Yunho finally brought it up that Thursday while they had a quick breakfast before heading to their classes, she waved it off, saying that she was just tired this week and he was just reading too much into it.

“I’m not sure I am going to make it to lunch today though,” she said, taking the last bite of her bagel before pushing away from the table. “I have my last test tomorrow and I still have things I need to study for it.”

“You can take a little break and eat something with us,” Yunho sighed.

“I really have to study,” she sighed, gathering her stuff near the door. “Things will get better soon, though, I promise.” She walked back to the boys, giving them kisses on their cheeks before rushing out the door.

“She’s avoiding us isn’t she,” Mingi asked the other boy glumly.

“Yeah,” Yunho sighed. “I think she might be mad at us but…”

“But what did we do?” Mingi asked, a worried frown knitting his forehead.

“It’s my fault,” Yunho shook his head, taking his dishes to the sink. “This all started with what happened with Hong Joong.”

“But it turned out okay,” Mingi insisted. “Hong Joong seems okay and he hasn’t said anything. He’s nice and he hasn’t been treating us weird or anything.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I guess she is just trying to push us about just being friends in public. We never did really decide on that whole thing.”

“She is sort of deciding for us,” Mingi agreed. “But it was just going to be outside and,” he paused. “I miss having time with all of us.”

“Me, too,” Yunho pulled the other boy into a hug, holding him for a moment before they parted and prepared to leave.

Saturday came quickly with the hustle and bustle that filled the week. Everyone picked up their costumes when they had a spare moment. Yunho and Mingi would be puppies and she would be a kitty. The costumes were simple, but it was what they had available and they had all liked the inside joke of being different but the same. We’re all animals in the end, right?

Yunho had gotten a golden retriever onesie, Mingi a black and white husky, and she had chosen a calico cat one. They all looked adorable, they decided, getting the first real smile they could remember out of her that week as they dressed. They headed off together to Whitby Residence at a little after six, when Hong Joong had said the party was going to start. They made their way to north campus, passing others dressed for the holiday and ready to party.

They came to the front door of the large house, giving it a hard knock to ensure the sound would rise above the chatter and music they could already hear, even from outside. The door opened to reveal a happy and smiling Hong Joong who greeted all of them with enthusiastic hellos and warm hugs. He brought them inside and took them to the large shared living room, already half filled with the guests and residents of the house. He introduced them to a few people, all of whom waved and greeted the newcomers warmly before going back to what they were talking about when they had arrived.

Yunho and Mingi moved to take seats on the empty space on the couch, leaving room between them for her to sit, but, to their disappointment, she instead chose to take the old wooden dining chair stuffed near the end of the couch. It had been placed there to add seating and make sure there would be enough for everyone they expected to come eventually. The boys shared a glance and scooted closer to each other, closing the space, so they wouldn’t take up more of the couch than needed.

One of the residents joined them, making small talk as new people came and music played. It was still early and the party was just getting started. She was a pre-veterinary student who loved animals more than anything; one reason she had come to compliment their adorable costumes. Her name was Anne, but insisted on being called Annie, and was so happy to have someone to gush over how smart and amazing animals are.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here!” The voice came from a guy who was making his way into the living room from the bedroom areas upstairs.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were staying here,” She said, standing to greet him with a brief hug. Both boys’ eyes snapped to look at her, hoping to know who he was and why she knew him.

“How do you think the test went yesterday?” He asked, sitting on the end of the coffee table near her.

“Oh, pretty well I guess,” she laughed and shrugged.

“It better have, the number of hours we spent in the library studying,” he teased. “And I think I did okay too, but I’ll wait to see what grade I get before declaring myself a success story.”

“That’s probably smart,” she agreed. “Don’t count your chickens and all.”

“Anyway, how did you come to be here?” He asked, putting a hand on her arm as he asked, sending alarm bells through Mingi and Yunho.

“I came with my roommates,” she gestured to the two boys, removing her arm from his touch as she did. “Hong Joong is in chemistry with Yunho so they’ve been studying together a lot.”

“Okay, that explains the costumes,” he laughed. “It’s really cute that you all dressed up together.” He turned towards the two boys, extending his hand to Yunho first, who was sitting nearest to her on the end of the couch. “I’m Joshua.”

“Yunho,” he said, taking the offered hand and shaking it.

“Mingi,” the other said in turn as Joshua then gave him his hand.

“Nice to meet you both,” He said with a smile. “So how did you all meet? In the dorms or…?”

“No, we've been friends since high school,” she shook her head. “But we all decided to go to the same school so we got a place together off campus.”

“Nice, nice,” Joshua complimented. “That is really cool. So you all are just friends…” he fished, pausing just long enough for anyone to object before continuing, “That’s great. Did you want a tour? I can take you to get something to drink if you want.” The invitation was clearly only for her. She looked to the boys and gave them a what’s the harm sort of shrug before standing up with a nod. The boys stared after her, not sure if they had the right to object, but they certainly didn’t feel right about it either way.

“Don’t worry,” Annie said next to them with a comforting smile. “Josh is super nice.”

“I’m sure,” Yunho said, keeping his eyes on the pair as he took her around the room as they slowly headed towards the kitchen.

“She’s like your sister, isn’t she?” Annie asked, giving Mingi a playful tap with her elbow.

“What do you mean?” Mingi asked, giving her a lost, blank look.

“You both seem really protective of her,” she explained with an understanding smile. “She’s like your sister and you want to protect her, but don’t worry. Josh is nice. He’s actually been talking about her a lot this week. She’s apparently really smart and really good with the material from the philosophy class they are both taking.”

“They’ve been studying for that together a lot, huh?” Yunho asked, hoping they would come out of the kitchen soon.

“Yeah,” Annie nodded. “He was out at the library like most of the nights this week. The material must be really hard, he doesn’t usually have to study this hard to get good grades. I am sure he is really grateful for her help.”

“Our girl is really smart,” Yunho commented, a knot of doubt forming in his stomach. Hong Joong came bounding down the stairs, another guy following closely behind, laughing at something the other had said just before they appeared. Hong Joong spotted the two boys sitting on the couch and headed their direction.

“Hey I wanted you guys to meet my roommate,” Hong Joong took the seat that she had vacated and the other boy, a tall statuesque blond with the body of a model, stood beside him, his hand resting on the back of the chair. “This is Seonghwa. Seonghwa, this is Yunho and Mingi. I think you guys have a lot in common. Yunho is who I’ve been helping with chemistry this week.”

“Oh,” Seonghwa nodded, from his tone, it was obvious that the subject had come up over the past week more than once. “Well nice to meet you. Hong Joong has said so many nice things about you.”

“Has he?” Yunho blushed, wondering what Hong Joong could possibly have said about him.

On the other side of the room they heard her laugh as she and Joshua reemerged from the kitchen, drinks in hand. Much to both Mingi and Yunho’s dismay, they headed upstairs together, rather than rejoining them.

���Oh, do you guys know Josh, too?” Hong Joong asked, following their gaze as he disappeared up the stairs with her. 

“That is his study buddy this week,” Annie filled in for them.

“Ahhhh,” both Hong Joong and Seonghwa responded, the information obviously filling in something for them.

“What?” Mingi finally asked everyone else, wanting to be let in.

“Oh he’s just been having a lot of fun studying with her,” Hong Joong waved the question away with a smile. “Apparently it’s his favorite class now. He’s had nothing but glowing praise for her this whole week.”

“He thought he was going to hate that class,” Seonghwa laughed, sending a look to Hong Joong. “And, pardon me if it's rude to say, but he probably had good reason to. It is the second time he has had to do that class since he failed it the first time. That is what happens when you don’t bother to do the homework or study because you hate the material.”

“Ouch, but true,” Annie tipped her nearly empty glass at her two housemates.

“Anyway, she seems to have gotten him to be interested in the class, so he probably owes her a lot for getting him half way through one of the required courses he needs for next year,” Seonghwa complimented them with a smile. Mingi and Yunho smiled back, even as they shifted uncomfortably in their seats, wishing they could go upstairs to check on her and her new friend.

Another knock on the door had Hong Joong bounding towards it, happy to let in the new guest who was just arriving. He opened the door, greeting whoever it was with a happy yelp. He came back in, arm around the waist of another tall and beautiful man whose face lit up when he saw Seonghwa. Seonghwa, for his part grinned, getting up to give the newcomer a hug and a long, loving kiss on the lips in greeting. Mingi stared, surprised to see the two greet each other in such an open and shameless manner in front of so many people. Beside them Annie cooed, declaring them to be the cutest couple ever as Hong Joong stepped back, taking the wooden seat again, flashing a grin to Yunho and Mingi.

Ah, this is why he wanted them to come and meet some of his friends, they had a lot in common, he had been sure. Yunho looked at Mingi whose jaw was still slightly ajar in surprise. He elbowed him to bring him back to his senses, briefly patting his thigh reassuringly. See, Yunho’s expression said, not everyone thinks that way. Mingi gave him a chagrined smile, scooting just a little closer to him. They almost didn’t notice when she came back down stairs, a new book under her arm, with Joshua behind her. They were chatting and smiling as they walked over and Yunho desperately wanted to get up and move between them but held back. 

Then, he did it; a few feet before they moved into the circle of the group Joshua put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to his side. She looked up, her eyes widening before she pulled away from him with an apologetic smile. Mingi stiffened half a second before standing up and asking Hong Joong, “Where is the bathroom?”

“Uh, upstairs,” he answered, his gaze traveling between Mingi and Yunho as he answered. Yunho’s mouth had narrowed into a tight line as Mingi stomped off, grabbing her hand and leading her upstairs before anyone could get out any words of protest. Excusing himself, Yunho stood up and calmly followed them upstairs.

Everyone watched him disappear up the stairs before turning to look at Hong Joong and Joshua, silently asking them for answers. Josh looked as baffled as the rest of them and Hong Joong only managed a shrug and, a muttered, They have a complicated relationship, I think.

Mingi pulled her into the bathroom before closing the door behind him with a little more force than intended. The slam rang through the small room followed by a pregnant silence filled by Mingi’s panting breath.

“Mingi I’m sorry--” was all she managed to get out before a knock rang out at the door.

“It’s me,” said Yunho quietly. “Let me in.” Mingi opened the door, letting him into the small space before pulling Yunho against it, using their combined bodyweight to close the door as he kissed his lips with a quick, hungry desperation. Yunho’s fingers went to the key in the door, locking it securely before putting his hands on Mingi’s waist, holding him against himself.

Mingi pulled back and turned on her. With a quick move, he lifted her off her feet, bringing her legs around his hips as he leaned in to kiss her with all the frustration that had been building in him over the last week. All of his feelings were finally coming out. The pain, confusion, the frustration that had been filling him, drop by drop with every late night she studied, and every time Yunho sat across from him at their lunches and not beside him, and every morning she rushed out with barely a goodbye, and every evening Yunho could only meet him with a sad half smile as they ate dinner without her.

 “Are you mad at me?” He asked, pulling his lips away, but letting his forehead rest against hers as he spoke.

“No, no,” she shook her head, speaking barely above a whisper.

“Then why are you punishing me,” Mingi’s voice broke as he asked, barely able to squeeze out the words.

“I’m not--” she started, cutting herself off as she had to admit, intended or not, she had been. “I just needed a little time. I’ve been busy and I needed to think about things.”

“What did you need to think about,” Yunho asked, still leaning against the bathroom door. “What did you need to think about that kept you out until the library kicked you out? What did you need to think about that made you turn away when you were going to sleep? What could possibly--” He stopped, squeezing his eyes closed to hold back the prickling threat of tears.

“I needed to think about if I was good for either of you,” she turned away from both of them as much as she could, still being held in Mingi’s arms as he stood near the sink. “If I was just a crutch that you used to justify being together...Maybe you don’t really need me but you’re both just...used to me being around.”

The room went silent. She held her breath, finally having let her deepest fear slither out of her mouth. When neither of them said anything, she pushed at Mingi’s shoulders, trying to get out of his grip so she could leave. Feeling that her worst fears were being confirmed.

“Let me go,” she pushed harder, panic welling in her chest.

“No,” Mingi said finally, one arm moving around her back to pull her against him.

“Let me down,” she sniffled, though her hands grabbed the fabric of his costume, holding it tightly as she said it. Yunho stepped forward, hugging her between them as his long arms encircled them both.

Neither of the boys had expected that from her. Though neither of them had said it, both had feared that she had gotten tired of them. That they had become too much trouble to be with. The secrets, the insecurities that too often arose whenever it wasn’t just the three of them at home, maybe it was all too much. Moving in together was supposed to make it easier, but it had just brought a new host of issues with it. But it had seemed like it never even phased her. She was always strong, always the first one to say that they would find a way to work it out.

“I’m so sorry,” Yunho breathed into her hair, tucking his head in on one side as Mingi did the same on the other.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Mingi asked, his chest tight.

“Say what?” She asked in a small, watery voice. “Am I a mistake? Are you sure you love me?”

“We’ve missed you so much,” Yunho whispered against her neck, kissing it lightly.

“Are you sure?” She asked, closing her eyes and letting a few warm tears fall.

“We need you,” Mingi insisted, pressing his face into her shoulder. Yunho’s hands pulled them both towards him, pressing all their bodies together as a desperate need came over him. This wasn’t the time or the place but, frankly, he didn’t care. His skin hurt with need and his hands itched to touch both of them. He turned to look at the door. He had locked it, but he needed to check, one time, just to be sure, before anything went any further.

He let them go and stepped to the door, jiggling the handle of the door a couple of times. Assured that it was secure, he turned around to see the two people he loved, still standing, holding each other.

“Mingi, will you help me show our girl how much we need her?” Yunho put his hands on her hips as he asked. Mingi nodded, a spark igniting in his eyes as their gazes met over her shoulder. “Here,” Yunho took her out of Mingi’s arms and put her on the small counter space there was beside the sink. It was almost the perfect height, he thought to himself, walking in between her spread thighs as he drew her into a kiss. She let out a little oh of surprise as he pressed his lips to hers, holding her head still between his hands. He ate at her mouth, stealing her breath as he bit at her lips. A small part of him wanted her to hurt like he had the past week. He knew she had too, but he needed to let it out, make sure she understood what it had all done to him.

He let go of her lips, his hand gripping her hair and moving her head to the side to expose her neck. His mouth moved to the flesh he had laid bare, his tongue licking over the pulse there. Yunho’s lips sealed over it, sucking the softness into his mouth and drawing a little breathless mewl from her lips. His teeth closed over it, not hard, but enough to leave a little ring of teeth marks around the pink spot in the center.

Pulling back, he looked at her, a blank look on her face with her eyes closed and her jaw hanging slack. “Too hard?” He asked breathlessly. She shook her head slightly, unable to move much with the grip he was still maintaining on her hair. “Mingi,” he beckoned to the other boy in the small space. “Come help me get our kitten out of her clothes.”

Mingi came to stand beside him quickly. Together they unzipped the costume, sliding the cheap fabric off her shoulders and arms so that it pooled around her hips. She was wearing a small white t-shirt under the costume, which Mingi impatiently pulled over her head, leaving her bare on the top except for her bra.

“Lift her up,” Yunho instructed, taking hold of the costume, pair of shorts, and panties, determined to remove them all at once. Mingi lifted her enough so that her weight no longer pinned the fabric between her and the counter, allowing the other boy to pull it down to her thighs before he put her down again. Yunho dropped to his knees in front of her, pulling everything off, along with her shoes, and tossed them out of the way.

His hands went to her knees, spreading her thighs and exposing her womanhood to his gaze. “Kiss her,” he commanded. “Make sure she isn’t too loud.”

Mingi nodded, turning her head to face him where he stood at the end of the counter in the space between it and the toilet. Her eyes were dazed and only half open as Mingi leaned in, his soft, plush lips meeting hers in a soft brush of skin. Yunho pulled her forward on the counter until he could reach her. Kissing his way along the inside of her thighs, he looked up to watch as Mingi took her lips, matching his movements to the other boys, starting with gentle brushes and soft pecks. When Mingi finally gave in, licking along her bottom lip, begging to deepen his kisses, Yunho used the tip of his tongue to lick a light stripe up her other lips, tasting the slick arousal that was already flowing from her body at their attentions.

She moaned into her kiss with Mingi as the fingers of one hand tangled in Yunho’s hair. Both boys let go, throwing themselves into pleasing her, showing her how much they had desperately missed her touch over the last week. Yunho lavished licks and sucks to her clit, eating at her body like he was starving, his hands holding the flesh of her hips hard enough that his nails dug into her flesh lightly, leaving small crescent marks behind when he adjusted how he was holding her.

Mingi lost himself in the moment, letting go of her lips and moving to kiss the side of her neck. His thumb caressed over the warm pink mark that Yunho had left on the other side. A strong possessive urge came over him. Joshua’s face flashed in his mind. He wanted the intruder to know she was taken, she was theirs. They shared her, they shared themselves with each other, but he wasn’t welcome. He turned her head, pulling it back so she was forced to look at the ceiling as his lips brushed the shell of her ear.

“Who do you belong to?” His voice was a low growl.

“You two,” she panted quietly.

“Say our names,” Mingi demanded before sucking a matching piece of skin into his mouth.

“Mingi and Yunho,” She did as he asked, her whole body tensing in anticipation of the feel of his teeth. As Mingi bit down, Yunho thrust his tongue inside her. Every muscle from her head to her toes strained and her breath caught in her throat. She was so close that all it took was a sudden and firm suck on her clit to throw her into an orgasm that was like a hand grasping her throat, freezing her body as she tried to gasp for breath. Yunho could see the startled look on her face in profile, reflected in the half open mirror of the medicine cabinet.

He sat back on his heels and let her relax for half a moment as Mingi kept her upright on the counter. Standing up, he brought his lips to hers, letting her taste herself.

“Do you want your turn,” Yunho asked Mingi, seeing his eyes dark with tension and desire. Mingi nodded, letting Yunho take over holding her up as he slid out of the little space he had been occupying. “You’re going to want to take off your costume.” Yunho suggested, letting her head lull back against the wall slightly. Mingi nodded, quickly stripping everything off until he was left in only his white undershirt.

“D-did you bring any condoms?” Mingi asked, as he stepped in between her spread knees.

“It’s okay,” She shook her head. “I’m safe.”

“You’re sure,” Mingi moved forward but still asked, wanting to be absolutely sure. She nodded, her hand going to his waist, sending a shiver through him with the simple caress. Mingi lined himself up with her entrance and slid inside easily with the copious amount of arousal Yunho had brought out of her with his ministrations.

“Mingi,” Yunho said, having taken the place that he had been in before at the end of the counter. “One kiss?” He offered, putting one hand at the small of his back and the other on her shoulder. Mingi nodded, turning to taste her on his lips as their tongues tangled with a desperate need. “Now fuck her. Show her how much you needed her this week.”

Mingi moaned and braced himself with his hands on her waist as he drove his hips into her with all the pent up frustration he had felt that week. The snap of flesh into flesh was audible as he drove himself into her. Yunho watched, a hand supporting each of them as Mingi let all of his emotions out as he took her. The frustration, the hurt, the loneliness; he communicated it all with his hands, his hips and his lips. Both their passions built and, while Mingi managed to bite his lip and suppress his groans of pleasure, she suddenly let out a keen, her back arching at the pleasure he was bringing her.

Yunho took the hand he had been keeping on Mingi’s back and brought it up to cover her mouth. Her eyes sprang open, flashing him an apologetic look. “Do you want everyone here to know how desperate you make us?” Yunho hissed in her ear, loud enough for Mingi to hear too. “Or is it that you want everyone downstairs to know that you belong to us, body and soul?”

She moaned into his palm, pressing it harder to her face as his words and Mingi’s thrusts drove her over the edge. Her body clenched around Mingi, the fluttering of her walls quickly driving him over the cliff of pleasure, causing him to cum inside her for the first time with no barrier between them. He held her hips still against him as he emptied himself into her body. His climax left him weak but with a sense of satisfaction deeper than he had felt before.

“Can you still take me, love?” Yunho asked, taking his hand back as Mingi caught his breath. She gave a dazed nod and Yunho stepped back, choosing to strip himself completely bare, desperate to get as much contact with her as possible. As he drew near, Mingi stepped back, finally pulling his half faded erection out of her, causing them both to shiver at the delayed sensation.

Yunho quickly stepped in, using the head of his cock to stop Mingi’s cum from slowly oozing out of her. 

“Ah-ah, gotta keep that in there. Can’t be making a mess at someone else’s place.” He teased as he slid himself into her. She tensed and shivered at his intrusion. They were both such big boys, stretching her in the best of ways. She looped her arms around his shoulders for support, her whole body feeling weak already.

“You sure you want this,” Yunho asked, one last time, holding himself still inside her body as he felt her tremble under his touch. She nodded, her head lolling against his shoulder. He felt Mingi come up behind him and place a gentle kiss against his shoulder.

“Make love to her,” Mingi gently caressed Yunho’s stomach and chest as he hugged him from behind. “Our girl is so tired, but she needs to know how much you love her. Show her she never needs to doubt that we love her.”

Yunho nodded, pulling back slowly and making his thrusts soft and deliberate. He had been so desperate for their touch he had been tempted to take her like Mingi had knowing she would have let him. But Mingi’s soft embrace cooled his anxious neediness. She still trembled under his touch as his movements teased her towards her third orgasm in the short time they had stolen into the bathroom. 

Mingi could feel Yunho’s heart pounding in his chest as his palm pressed him back against his chest as the other boys hips kept their deliberate and controlled pace. “Tell her what’s in your heart,” Mingi urged, trailing kisses along Yunho’s neck and shoulder.

“I need you both,” Yunho whined. “When I don’t have you both there a little piece of me dies. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me.”

“I won’t go,” she promised, her teeth chattering as she spoke, lifting her head enough to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I won’t leave either of you.”

“We were always meant to be three,” Mingi said from behind. Yunho nodded, holding her head against his shoulder as Mingi matched his thrusts into her. She felt another orgasm building in her with an almost painful intensity. It rushed over her, stealing the air from her lungs as she felt her body clench around Yunho. She squeezed her eyes closed as her body quickly became overwhelmed by the continued sensations.

Yunho pulled her body against his as she squirmed briefly before her whole body quivered and she went limp against him. He felt her body milk him and with a few more thrusts he came inside her, his emissions mixing with Mingi’s deep inside. It was the most satisfied he had ever felt and he wished they were somewhere that would let him bask in this moment for as long as he wanted, but reality came crashing down on him. He felt Mingi step away, wisely gathering a little toilet paper from nearby to clean them up.

“Umm, can you open the lid?” Yunho motioned to the toilet, which currently had the lid down. Mingi did as he asked, and Yunho carefully pulled himself out of her body, quickly using the paper in his hand to keep her from leaking onto the bathroom floor. With Mingi’s assistance, he set her on the toilet so that he could clean himself up and give her a moment to recover before they would work on getting her presentable again.

Both boys redressed and carefully located all her clothes while she sat on the toilet, too tired at the moment to do the same. She had leaned herself against the coolness of the porcelain, letting her head rest against the wall behind it.

Yunho dampened some paper, cleaning between her legs as gently as he could, while Mingi carefully slipped the shirt back on over her head. When she was clean, they both worked the rest of her clothes on her. Though she still felt weak, she was able to stand as they pulled everything on her lower half. The boys made a quick effort to clean up the bathroom and set everything as it had been when they came in. They wiped down the counter and splashed their faces, hoping that it wouldn’t be terribly obvious what they had all just spent the last while doing.

“I’ll take her,” Yunho offered, kneeling down to let her climb on his back for a piggyback ride and allowing Mingi to lead the way back downstairs.

“Do you need something to drink?” Mingi asked as they reached the bottom of the stairs. She nodded and he headed to the kitchen to get them drinks and snacks as Yunho bravely carried her back to the seating area where everyone was basically where they had left them.

Hong Joong gave them a worried look as Yunho carefully let her down off his back before taking a seat in the empty spot and pulling her into the cradle of his lap.

“Is everything okay,” Hong Joong asked as he watched Yunho guide her head to rest on his shoulder, sitting limp and quiet.

“We just needed to work something out,” Yunho explained without really explaining anything. Mingi returned with snacks and drinks and squeezed himself in next to Yunho, handing her a drink before lifting her feet onto his lap and putting an arm around Yunho’s shoulders.

“Can you eat a little?” Mingi asked, reaching to bring the food he had brought to rest on her legs in his lap. She nodded and he picked up a little piece of food, putting it in her lips with a soft coo of our good girl. 

Seonghwa cleared his throat, watching them from his seat between Hong Joong and his boyfriend. “So, I didn’t get to ask before, but how do you all know each other?”

“We met a while ago at summer camp,” Yunho started, turning his head to the side to look at Mingi who gave him a shy but beautific smile. “We just clicked and we’ve sort of been a thing since then.”

“Like all three of you?” Joshua asked, looking between all of them.

“Yeah,” Mingi leaned his head on Yunho’s shoulder as he picked up another piece of food and fed it to him. Yunho looked at the questioner and pulled her closer to his chest, still feeling a flare of territoriality over their kitten. He stared him in the eye as he pressed a kiss against the top of her head.

“You really meant it when you said things were complicated, didn’t you,” Hong Joong said, his mouth twitching as he suppressed a laugh, finally starting to understand things. “So that’s why you all decided to go to the same school.”

“We belong together,” Yunho shrugged. “Isn’t that right, kitten?”

“Mmmm,” she nodded, taking a sip of her drink. Turning slightly in his lap, she made an effort to face the rest of the group as she leaned back against his shoulder.

“I’m…so jealous,” Annie sighed from the other side of Mingi, making everyone laugh.

“Me, too,” Hong Joong noted. “You should see the welcome home they all get from each other. Then you’ll really know the meaning of the word.”

“Ugh, so unfair,” Annie turned her eyes on Seonghwa and his boyfriend, narrowing them as she did. “Why are all the good ones either gay and/or taken? I am going to be alone forever.”

Everyone laughed and lapsed into conversations about life and school as the party continued around them. Hong Joong had been right when he said he knew people they would have a lot in common with. 

[thewritewolf]

What He Deserves

Summary: Not even a week has passed since Hawkmoth was revealed to all the world to be Gabriel Agreste. As Adrien sits in his truly empty house, unable to leave thanks to the crowd of people outside, he wonders if this is what he deserves for not realizing sooner.

But then again, not everyone has the same ideas about what he deserves...

Hello and welcome to another birthday fic! This one is for the ever amazing @leviaana, founder of my favorite discord group, fantastic artist, and occasional candy exchange buddy. She said she likes post-reveal hurt/comfort that turns to fluff and I aim to please!

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Adrien tentatively pulled back the curtains in the second-floor living room and peered outside, across the porch and over the wall that separated him from the outside world.

The news had broken only a couple days ago - only hours after Adrien himself found out. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting at first, but it wasn’t long before the crowd started to form. Some were unquestionably reporters. His years as Chat Noir had made it easy for him to pick them out from a crowd. He even recognized some of their voices, which had long been chasing him for interviews.

Somehow, he didn’t think they were going to be asking him about his favorite flavors or the most interesting akumas now. Although they definitely would be interested in what he knew about Hawkmoth, now that his father had been unmasked.

Which is why he believed the other people in the crowd were here. Some just seemed curious. Others seemed... Angry.  

Maybe that was to be expected. The fall of Hawkmoth was as sudden as it was unexpected. Just another routine akuma attack that had accidentally revealed his base of operations. A quick five on one fight later and the butterfly miraculous was in Ladybug’s hands, a battered Gabriel Agreste was taken into custody, and Adrien Agreste’s life had been left in shambles.

It meant that there wasn’t much closure for anyone - not yet, at least. While people waited for his father’s trial to start, years of building frustration had to find an outlet somewhere.

And who better than the last free, living Agreste?

Thankfully, nothing had happened yet, but the crowd had turned his home into more of a prison than it had ever been while his father was in it and that was an accomplishment all on its own. Without his parents, Nathalie, or even the Gorilla to take up space in the mansion, he had never felt so alone before.

The only company Adrien had Plagg and his own emotions, and neither were doing wonders for his mental health.

“Kid,” Plagg said with a tired voice. They’d had this conversation plenty of times before and Adrien knew they were about to have it again. “None of this was your fault.”

“Yeah?” Adrien closed the curtain just as people started to look his way, plunging the room into darkness once again. “I’ve lived under the same roof as Hawkmoth for years.” Adrien raised his voice and threw his hands over his head. “I’m Chat Noir! If anyone could have found Hawkmoth ages ago, it would be me!” His arms fell limply to his sides once again and he stared dully at his kwami. His voice dropped to just above a whisper. “So why didn’t I?”

Plagg shook his head. “He was good enough to hide it from everyone and he was a recluse, even with you. There’s no way you could have known without doing some serious digging.”

“Maybe…” Adrien stared at a massive family painting, saw the cold and calculating look his father had even then. “Or maybe I just didn’t want to even consider it. Maybe I was having so much fun being Chat… fighting alongside my friends… alongside Marinette, that I just didn’t care.”

“You know that’s not true,” Plagg replied quietly.

“Who knows? That’s probably what they think now. No wonder they haven’t tried to visit since the news broke. They don’t want to be anywhere near me right now, and I can’t blame them.” Adrien put his back to the wall and slid down it, taking a seat on the ground and pulling his knees up to his chest. “I don’t want to be near me right now. No wonder they feel the same way.”

“Kid-”

Whatever Plagg was going to say was cut off when there was a knock at the front door. With how quiet and still the rest of the house was, it sounded as loud as thunder as it echoed in the emptiness. Adrien shot a fearful glance toward his kwami - had people finally stormed the mansion? - but Plagg just shook his head and smirked.

Cautiously but now a little curious, Adrien went down the stairs. He watched the door all the while as soon as it came into view. There was another knock. Not violent or angry. Polite. Familiar. But definitely insistent.

Adrien peeked out the window next to the front door and his eyes widened at the sight of his friends loitering on the other side.

Nino and Alya were chatting as if this was nothing out of the usual. Marching up to Hawkmoth HQ, straight past a future angry mob, just to knock on the front door? Who doesn’t do that on a Friday afternoon, honestly? And there was Chloe, of course, checking her makeup in her compact, looking as fashionably detached from her environment as ever.

And standing right in front of the door, expectantly, happily… was Marinette herself. One hand was holding onto a big duffle bag that was thrown over her shoulder and the other was held at her side as she stared up into the sturdy wood door. There was no doubt in her eyes, no worry that he might not answer. Just complete and patient faith.

How could he even contemplate letting her down?

Adrien opened the door and it was like breaking open the flood gates. The first thing he saw was Marinette’s face, her bright blue eyes looking up at him as they shifted from quiet contemplation to soft affection. Their eyes connected in a moment that lasted forever and he could almost swear that his heart stopped beating as they stared into each other…

“Dude!”

The moment shattered when Nino bodily threw himself over the threshold and collided with Adrien, forcing him to stumble back a few steps or fall down in a heap.

The others quickly followed Nino’s example and soon Adrien was caught at the center of one big group hug. Marinette was the last to join since she paused to close the door. A few seconds into the hug, Adrien realized to his surprise that he was trembling - had he really missed human contact that much over the last few days?

All too soon they each pulled back until they were standing around the foyer, watching him. That’s when he noticed that it wasn’t just Marinette with an overstuffed bag with her. It looked like each of them had packed for a long trip.

Some of his confusion must have shown on his face since Alya grinned and said, “Better get used to having some roommates for a while, blondie. We’re not going anywhere.”

“But how did you get passed the-?”

“She knew the passcode for the gate.” Chloe jerked a thumb at Marinette. “The rest of us glared at the crowd until they gave us some space.”

“But don’t worry ‘bout that, dude!” Nino threw an arm around Adrien’s shoulder. “We’re here to have a chill time. You’ve got the space and we’ve got the fun, so let’s get this party started!”

Nino steered Adrien towards his room and they got started.

‘Bringing the fun’ hadn’t even been close to an exaggeration on Nino’s part. There were video games, movies, board games, all sorts of ways to keep themselves entertained. His room started off as the cold and sterile place that it had been for most of his life. But as the hours ticked past, it slowly changed into something else. Someone would go and grab more pillows. They’d push some couches and chairs together in front of the television. Tables would be pulled together for a huge game. Snacks and drinks were strewn everywhere.

It was chaotic. His room was a mess.

It was the most fun he’d had out of the mask in his life. The house was filled with light and life and love for the first time in years and he had his friends to thank for that. Or, as he slowly realized, Marinette specifically. She was the one who had planned it all, organized them, and got as much entertainment together as possible.

The day gave way to night and they were all camped out in front of his television, lost in a cozy den of blankets and pillows propped up against his couch. They were deep into a movie marathon. It could have been twenty two hundred at night - it could have been four in the morning. Time was meaningless at this point. Almost everyone was asleep, except for him.

Well… him and Marinette.

She was laying right beside him as they shared the same blanket, scooted close to each other as the winter chill began to set in. They weren’t touching, but he could feel her warmth radiating off her. His hand twitched ever so slightly as he yearned to move it just a few centimeters and take her hand in his.

The years had brought them closer together than ever, especially after their identities had gotten revealed to each other. They’d always teetered on the edge of a relationship, but with all the uncertainties of life and the tangled mess of revealed identities, they never could commit.

But now, as he glanced furtively at her, lit only by the pale light of the movie, he wondered…

Then he remembered the reason they were here in the first place and his mood crashed. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve any of them. He-

“Adrien?”

Her voice was soft - he could barely hear her over the television, even with the audio turned down to a low rumble so their friends wouldn’t be woken by it.

She was waiting on an answer.

“Yeah?”

“We’re all here for you. We love you.” His ears may have heard ‘we’, but his heart had heard the ‘I’ that was hidden beneath it.

She was braver than him. Her hand crossed the short distance between them and she intertwined their fingers.

The television became blurred as tears began to build, clouding his vision. He shook his head as he bit his lips to hold back a sob.

“I don’t- I don’t deserve- After everything-”

“You aren’t your father,” she said quietly but firmly. “You’ve proven yourself so, so much better than that.” Her thumb began to rub against the back of his hand. “We’re not going anywhere.”

She scooted closer to him. His arms wrapped around her waist, with his hands meeting up on her back, pressing her close to him as he buried his face into her shoulder as the tears that he’d been holding back for so long began to fall. He was worried he was holding her too tight, but she didn’t seem to mind at all.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said as she held him back and kissed the crown of his head.

[punksarahreese]

“i never stopped loving you” for reesker 👀👀

Hehe <3

Promise | 4 mg Ativan

“I never stopped loving you”

CW: mentions of fighting, minor self injury, anxiety attack

***

They had been fighting for almost thirty minutes when it happened, Ava’s chest clenching the minute the door slammed. Sarah was mad, really mad, and that was obvious. She didn’t even know what triggered the fight, not really. It was probably her fault; it was always her fault.

“You never listen!”

“You need to think about how your actions affect me too.”

“I hate it when you talk over me, you always do!”

That and many other things had left Sarah’s mouth, more frustrated than truly mad at first. She was upset, Ava had once again interrupted her because she wanted to talk about an exciting new surgery she had scheduled. It was never intentional, Ava just had a hard time recognizing when people were not interested in the conversation and also when it was her turn to speak. Low empathy, Doctor Charles called it. It wasn’t her fault, he said, and Sarah had agreed. She wasn’t apathetic by any means, it just meant she had to try harder to see the social cues. Ava found it harder around Sarah because she was comfortable unmasking with her, so her work attitude dropped and she sometimes just got too excited.

Sarah didn’t mean to yell, she tried to tell herself, she was just upset. Still, it scared Ava because her girlfriend didn’t often get mad like this. She never wanted to hurt Sarah, especially not enough to make her run away, but she must have. Ava fucked up; she always did. She couldn’t even run after Sarah to stop her and apologize because her panic rose with the slamming door and the next thing she knew she was on the floor.

She knew her Ativan was in Sarah’s coat pocket, since she had just picked up the new prescription from the pharmacy that afternoon. All of her coping mechanisms and coherent thoughts dropped from her mind, overwhelmed by panic. She couldn’t breathe, much less form a logical thought, so she didn’t know what to do. All she could do was cry, a mantra of apologies spilling from her lips into the empty apartment.

She tried to keep her hands off herself, ignoring the intrusive thoughts that told her she deserved pain. Doctor Charles was trying to break her self injury habits during panic attacks, coaching her own how to convince her anxiety she didn’t need it, but it was hard. She hurt Sarah, Ava was the one who deserved to be hurt. She needed that endorphin release to focus, that tiny bit of relief when her nails tore at her skin harshly. Her mind wouldn’t stop racing and she needed to feel something, anything, else.

Ava fought it as much as she could, picking up her phone with shaking hands because it was the one distraction she could think of. She barely remembered dialing a number, choking out a response when the person picked up. Connor was concerned when he heard her voice, trying to make sense of her panicked babbling.

“Ava, what’s wrong?”

“S-sarah…”

“What about Reese? Is she hurt?”

“N-no,” Ava stuttered, “M-mad. Gone.”

“Ava, are you at home?” Connor was confused, already texting Sarah to ask what the Hell happened. His friends didn’t often fight, actually he’d only known them to fight once before, and it was odd to him. They usually communicated so well, he wasn’t sure how to help.

“Mhm,” he had never heard her voice quite so scared before, “She… C-connor, I don’t… don’t think s-she loves me any….anymore.”

He tried to keep Ava talking, sighing in relief when he got a text from Sarah saying she was going home. Hoping that they could work things out once Ava calmed down. He told her that Sarah wasn’t like that, that he knew she loved her and it was obvious. Her anxiety was still winning though, her sobs worsening as she probably assumed the worst.

Eventually he heard a door close in the background and Sarah’s voice, soft and reassuring like always. A quiet “Thanks, Connor,” was heard from the woman before the call ended, leaving him sighing. He was trying his best to be supportive for Ava as she tried to cope with her mental health but he had to admit it was difficult. She was lucky to have Sarah and he knew they would work things out eventually.

Sarah was on the floor with Ava in seconds after the call ended, taking the phone from her completely and setting it aside. Ava just stared at her with bloodshot eyes, lip quivering as she tried to silently gauge Sarah’s mood. The brunette looked at her sadly, a gentle apology whispered as she reached out to take her hand.

“N-not your fault... “ Ava mumbled, “I… I f-fucked up again.”

“You didn’t realize, Ava,” she answered with a shake of her head, “I reacted poorly.”

“It’s my f-fault. I need… I need to stop doing t-that.”

Sarah wanted to pull her into a tight hug and promise she was doing her very best but she worried too much touch at once would overwhelm her again. Instead she just held her hand a bit tighter, watching silently as Ava tried to even her breathing. It broke Sarah’s heart knowing she was the cause of this panic attack, cursing at herself for even thinking that walking out like that was a good idea.

“I-i’m sorry, Sarah,” she sniffled a little, “I don’t… This isn’t me trying to g-guilt you. T-the anxiety is hard but I know what I did was wrong. I just… H-hope you can try to l-love me again.”

That has Sarah wanting to cry herself, leaning closer to pull Ava into her arms without a thought. It took Ava a moment to relax, her adrenaline still running too high to be comfortable. Sarah just held her until she settled in her arms, shushing her softly when she tried to apologize again.

“Ava,” she sighed, “Baby, I never stopped loving you.”

“B-but…”

“I was upset and didn’t think about how this would scare you,” she admitted, “And I’m sorry about that. I want you to know I love you, okay? I’ve always loved you.”

“I… made you angry.”

“Not angry, just upset,” she answered gently, “And I went about it horribly. Next time we can talk and work things out, no more yelling or running.”

“No more?”

“No, Avey,” Sarah pressed a kiss to her temple, “I’m so sorry I scared you.”

That had the blonde relaxing into her arms completely, a shaky sigh escaping her as she finally started to crash. Sarah just held her close for a moment, happy to see that she was wiping away her tears and calming down. She knew they were both at fault here and they would need to talk about it properly when they were in better mindsets. Until then, holding each other was enough.

“I’ll do better…”

“I know you will, I’ll try to be better too,” Sarah nodded, “I love you, okay?”

“P-promise?”

“Oh, baby, of course. I’m sorry I made you think otherwise.”

“Okay…” Ava sighed, “I love you t-too. I’m sorry I upset you.”

“I know, Ava. We’ll make this work again, we always do.”

[theshadowedqueen82]

what you’ve kept hidden (i’ve always known), 7.2k words, Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Jim Lake Jr.

My Jimari Secret Santa gift to Aly (let me know if I should tag you!) combining the prompts for a confession with angst and a cute first date. Also on Ao3.

The video is blurry, filmed from a cellphone camera just behind a nearby building, but it's the best they have. There aren't any news crews in the area, but Toby is diligently looking for any other coverage on his phone. Jim doesn't think he could be watching this without him.

The camera is shaking as it shows the back of a man in a purple suit, holding up a girl with one hand and reaching for her earrings. Ash falls from the sky around them, and there are sirens in the distance.

It can’t end like this, is all that Jim can think. Ladybug's too strong, too skilled, too smart to be caught like this. She must have some sort of plan, some kind of power that can fix this. He’s seen her do it before.

Reports of magical heroes in Paris had slowly made their way to Arcadia a year ago. While most people had thought it fraudulent or some kind of publicity stunt, Jim was far less likely to dismiss claims of magic these days. He’s followed her rising career through a few blogs and home videos, watched a couple of newscasts, and found some comfort in the idea that he's not the only hero out there. He almost envied Ladybug for being able to go public with her identity, being able to see and communicate with the public she was protecting. At the moment all he feels for her is cold dread.

Hawkmoth makes a quick movement, and there's a shimmer of pink light. Jim wants to look away, grant her the privacy he knows is being violated, but can't seem to make his eyes move. As the costume falls away revealing a very familiar looking face, his jaw drops.

“Marinette?”

—

Jim doesn't quite remember when it started. Somewhere on the forums for one of the many games they both played, teaming up to defeat virtual monsters and chatting only through text. Over the years they’d grown closer, started voice chatting and then video chatting, beginning to share a little more of their lives and themselves. Their relationship had lasted far past the usual expiration date of online friendships and they were still going strong. She was the only reason he still spoke French, and he helped her with her English homework. They had fallen into an easy pattern of late night gaming marathons in middle school and homework sessions in high school, calling each other to chat during the time zone window where neither of them were sleeping to chat and swap baking tips and laugh over bad jokes.

She was the first person he’d told about Claire, back when he had time for things like crushes. She’d encouraged him to ask her out, and Jim had countered asking when she was going to do the same for Adrien. He wanted to tell her about the amulet, but knew that there wasn’t a chance. Besides, what would she be able to do? She was an ocean away, and even if she was here it wasn’t like she could grab a sword and fight Bular for him. Or so he’d thought.

“Is it Steve again?” she’d asked one afternoon, when training had gone rather poorly and he’d signed into their video call exhausted and with the beginnings of a rather sizable bruise on his shoulder. She couldn’t see it, but she was perceptive enough to notice the wince every time he moved.

“It’s not him,” he promised. “I’m doing some… extra curriculars. After school credit stuff.”

“Oh?” Marinette asked, her eyebrows rising. “Like what? I thought you had to turn down culinary club.” It felt like almost a lifetime ago, when he’d been occupied with trying to keep his grades up and take care of the house, when the fee for participation had been enough to make him put off joining until he could find a summer job and pay for it himself.

“Yeah, I joined… wrestling,” he decided, racking his brain for what kind of extracurricular could involve physical injury. “Trying to get my phys ed mark up, I haven’t been doing so great.” Which was true, due to a lack of attendance rather than ability but Mari didn’t need to know that.

“Wrestling?” she echoed, confusion in her expression. Jim had wondered if she was going to press, felt a cold knot form in his stomach at the thought of lying more to her. But to his relief she’d only frowned and accepted it, saying that it sounded dangerous and she hoped he’d try to be safer before changing subjects.

Now his mind is running through those old conversations, wondering if he’d missed any of the same signs from her. Any sprained ankles or healing cuts, any sign of a burden they could have shared.

“Marinette is Ladybug? Your Marinette?” Toby is saying, but Jim can hardly hear him over the buzzing in his ears.

Hawkmoth has dropped her, and she's coughing. Jim realises that he’d been strangling her, that she’d have a necklace of bruises marring her neck tomorrow. If she makes it that far, a nasty voice in the back of his mind whispers, one Jim immediately shoves away.

“Come on, Marinette,” he whispers, leaning closer to the screen like he could reach her through it. Hawkmoth has grabbed her arm and is starting to drag her away, but another figure strides forward and stops him. Chat Noir, Jim thinks with a rush of relief, and then anger, because how dare he let this happen to her? How could he let it come this far, let her be unmasked on live video, let her stand up to a supervillain by herself?

He redirects that anger, since Chat Noir has been trying to protect her, is probably taunting Hawkmoth right now trying to get him to release her. They're too far away for the video to pick up on their audio, but not far enough to keep Jim from seeing how he raises a hand, threatens to slap her. And how she flinches.

Then Chat Noir moves, lunges forward and there’s a flash of light that turns the video into a blur of static. They sit there in horrified silence for a moment before the feed shuts off completely, leaves them staring at a dark screen with an error message.

“NO!” Jim screams, and Toby’s scrolling through his phone but he’s not fast enough, Marinette is in danger RIGHT NOW and Jim doesn’t know what’s happening. Can’t see if she’s hurt more, can’t see if she’s gotten free, can’t see if she’s even still alive and nothing matters in this moment except the fact that there’s an ocean between them keeping him from helping her and he’s terrified.

It’s the longest two minutes of his life until they find another video, but this one’s only Rena Rouge. “-all okay,” she’s saying to the reporters who have finally showed up, far too late to catch anything other than a repaired and empty street with their cameras. “Hawkmoth has been defeated and turned over to the proper authorities, and everybody is safe.”

The reporters are falling over themselves asking questions, most about Ladybug ( what’s her name , like it’s not going to be all over the internet within the hour), and Rena declines to comment. “There will be an official statement released in the future,” she says before leaving, a pale and shocked reporter taking her place in front of the camera. She can only repeat facts Jim already knows, so he turns off the television and sits there in silence.

“She must be okay,” Toby finally offers, and Jim nods. Marinette has to be okay, not because of the reporters’ questions or Rena’s composure or even because she’s Ladybug, but because the alternative is too terrible to think of.

“Do you ever feel like you need to be perfect?” Marinette had asked him once, when Jim had noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the flat tone of voice, dulled from her usual vibrancy. “Like everything’s depending on you, and if you aren’t enough then people will get hurt?”

All the time, was his answer, but he couldn’t say why so he didn’t say it at all. “Do you feel that way?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” she said, and he knew that she too really meant always. “It’s just a lot, you know? With school, and the bakery, and…”

“And the akumas,” Jim guessed. The previous day had been a particularly drawn out fight between Ladybug and an akuma, and while he’d been confident Ladybug would win he still worried. This was Marinette's home, her friends, her school. And although they hadn’t discussed it in detail, Marinette trying to change the subject whenever he asked questions until he figured she simply didn’t want to discuss it, he knew the akumas fed off emotion. What was that like, being unable to let yourself be truly angry or afraid, with the constant threat of being weaponized hanging over your head?

“You don’t need to be perfect,” he’d told her. “You just need to be you. That’s all anybody can expect.”

“And what if I’m not enough?” Mari had asked, and Jim had wished that he could place a hand on her shoulder.

“You’re always enough,” he’d said.

Now he's wondering how many other conversations they’d had that were really about Ladybug, and wondering if there was anything he could have said that would have been better. Encouraged her more, made her job the tiniest bit easier. He can't remember saying anything monumentally stupid like let Ladybug handle it, but he wouldn’t put it past his memory to be a bit faulty on this matter.

How had he not known? How had he missed all the signs? Him of all people, who knows exactly what it's like to be fighting evil in between classes, how it feels knowing that you're the only person standing between genuinely evil beings and your home, what it's like keeping everything secret as you attempt to live a double life without either side crumbling.

He’d messaged her as soon as he got home, a quick are you okay before he realised that her phone was probably turned off if she wanted to have any peace. If Jim was exposed as the Trollhunter, everybody would be too busy with the underground secret society of trolls to really bother him. Ladybug was a national figure, and she’d just been unmasked on live television.

So Jim starts stress baking, because while he can’t make sure that Marinette was okay he can make sure that this pie crust stays perfectly golden brown. It doesn't help much, Marinette and baking being permanently linked in his mind after too many nights spent on the phone trying out new recipes together, but at least he’ll get some muffins out of his anxiety instead of just a sleepless night.

“What happened?” his mother asks when she comes home to a kitchen filled with assorted baked goods. She knows him too well for him to pass it off as nothing, and besides he’s tired of lying, but he doesn’t want to tell her about Ladybug. Maybe she’ll find out, but it’s not his secret to give.

“Marinette’s in trouble,” he says. “I haven’t heard from her, and I can’t...” he trails off, unsure what to say. Can’t stand not knowing, can’t help her from here? Can’t breathe properly until he hears her voice, hears from her that everything will be okay? All true, but saying it won’t change it.

“Oh honey,” his mom says, and she’s hugging him and Jim lets himself fall into the embrace. He hopes Marinette has her parents with her right now, hopes they’re hugging her and letting her melt like he is now, hopes more than anything that she’s safe and happy because she deserves to be.

If she were here nothing would keep him from getting to her house. He’d scale the wall and meet her on her balcony, wait by the back door until somebody let him in, do whatever it took to see her. But all he can do is wait for her to reply.

His phone is ringing. In the moment it takes for his half asleep mind to register the noise he’s already reaching for it. The ringtone is a familiar rock song, one he associates with Marinette before Jagged Stone, and a shot of adrenaline clears all the remaining drowsiness from his mind when he remembers why this call is so important.

“Marinette?” he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth as soon as he presses the button and lifts the phone to his ear, and he hears ragged breathing on the other side.

“Jim,” she gasps, and he feels as though a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” he asks, standing and starting to pace.

“I’m fine,” she says, and then she’s crying. “I wanted to tell you. I’m so sorry.”

“Mari,” he says, wishing that he could be next to her, wrap an arm around her shaking shoulders and hold her close. “I don’t care about that, I’m just glad to hear that you’re safe. You don’t know how worried I was.”

“I didn’t mean to,” she replies, and he can still hear the tears in her voice. He hates the sound, hates her choked gasps as she cries, but would take them any day over not hearing from her at all. “I wanted to tell you, I just couldn’t. Hawkmoth... “

“I know,” he says. “I understand.” And he does, more than she knows, and a knot of guilt forms in his stomach. He knows how it feels to want to tell, to share this incredible burden with your best friend, and he understands exactly what prevents that. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You don’t know how scared I was.”

“I know,” she says, and she sniffles. Her tears seem to be running out, and Jim takes a deep breath.

“What happened?” he says, and then it all comes spilling out. She talks about the plan they had, how she was going to be the distraction, how it all went wrong when they found Hawkmoth’s identity (and something in his chest clenches at that, the scar of an old betrayal aching again), and how the ladybugs repaired all the physical damage but they couldn't undo the unmasking. All of Paris knows who their hero is, after she’s worked so hard to keep it a secret.

“I was so worried you’d be upset,” she says. “It’s been such a big part of my life, and I wanted to tell you, but… ”

“I understand,” he says. “Superheroes always have a secret identity.” She gives an embarrassed laugh at that, and he could picture the blush spreading across her face. “Marinette, would you promise me something?”

“What?” He had been sitting down but now he stands, walking over to the window as he decides how exactly to make his request.

“Please, don’t do this again,” he says. “I know you’re a hero, I know you’re smart and capable and strong, but please. Don’t put yourself in danger like that again.”

“Jim… I don’t think I can promise that,” she says, and Jim nods. It’s part of the job, and he can’t make the same promise back. Though she doesn’t know it he's been as much danger as she was, if not more. And he probably will be again.

“I know, I know,” he sighs. “Just… be careful. Seeing you in danger, and I was too far away to do anything, and I… I haven’t even gotten to tell you…” he trails off as his mind catches up with his words. Tell her what? That she makes him smile more than anybody else, that hearing from her always makes his day better, that when he thought she might have been killed the world felt wrong until he heard her voice? All true, but not what he’d been about to say.

“Jim?” Marinette prompts, and he mentally shakes himself.

“We haven’t even gotten to meet,” he says. “In real life. And you’re not allowed to be hurt before that happens.”

“Right,” she says, a bit of a smile returning to her voice. “But all bets are off after, right?”

“It’ll be different after we meet!” A smile begins to tug at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll be able to protect you.”

“Which one of us is the superhero again?” And just like that they fall back into their usual easy banter, and it feels like nothing has changed. It’s like he always knew, like no secrets have ever hung between them, because more important than her being Ladybug is her being Marinette. Yet woven through it all is a pattern of relief, a whispered we’re here and we’re safe as steady as a heartbeat carrying their conversation.

They talk well into the early hours of the morning, and when his alarm wakes him Jim finds the phone fallen on the pillow next to him. They must have fallen asleep talking, as the phone informs him they spent far more hours on call than he remembers, and there’s a text from her. Goodnight Jim! Thank you.

He holds his phone to his chest and stares at the ceiling, eyes stinging from not enough sleep, and wonders just what he had been about to tell her.

—

They parked a news van outside her house. She kept the curtains drawn and couldn’t go out, communicated to her friends and other heroes over phone calls and video chats. The official press release had been delivered by Rena Rouge and Carapace. Chat Noir had vanished; Marinette told him that his identity wasn’t her secret to share, but he was safe and recovering. But Paris still wanted to hear from Ladybug, and she just wanted to be left alone.

Chloe had surprised both of them by hiring a full bodyguard detail to guard the shop. Marinette thought it was her way of apologizing for some of her earlier behaviour at school, but she was mostly grateful that she hadn’t asked any questions. Her parents were trying to run the shop but kept getting people who just wanted to meet her, and had ended up resorting to mainly doing deliveries to keep gawkers out of their house. Marinette couldn’t leave, and although she tried to stay positive Jim knew she was feeling trapped.

“Come stay with me,” Jim had said, the words out of his mouth before he could think them through. But it made sense. In America less people knew or cared about Ladybug’s secret identity; she could take a vacation and wait out the media storm, return when she could take a walk outside without needing to worry about paparazzi.

It had been a whirlwind of planning, dates and phone calls from both their parents, but the day has finally arrived. Chloe lent Marinette her private jet; her parents will follow in a few days once they can close down the shop and move into a small condo they’ll be renting. So Jim has prepared a spare bedroom, given what little Ladybug memorabilia he has to Toby with threats to keep him from showing her any of it, and warned the trolls that he’ll have a houseguest. He has not informed them that he’ll be telling her about being the Trollhunter. It’ll be easier to ask forgiveness than permission, when they don’t know Marinette like he does. She can keep a secret, and she deserves to know.

He had thought about bringing a sign, but was worried it might call unwanted attention so refrained. Now he wishes that he brought one, if only to have something to hold. What’s he supposed to do with his hands? It’s ridiculous, this is Marinette, but it’s also the first time they’ll be seeing each other in person and he can’t help but feel suddenly uneasy, like something will go very wrong the moment she steps off the plane. What if he steps forward to greet her and steps on her foot? Or trips and falls into her? And that breaks her nose? Or maybe he’ll knock her over completely, and...

His catastrophic thoughts ground to a halt the moment he sees a flash of hair so black it’s almost blue, and suddenly he’s running forward and so is she. They have never met each other before but they’re flying into each other’s arms, and she fits so perfectly it’s like they’ve done this a million times before.

“Hey,” he says, a little breathless as he pulls back to look at her in the eyes, and he’s smiling so broadly that his cheeks hurt. Marinette’s smile is even more beautiful in person.

“Hi,” she replies, and they stand there for a moment in each others’ arms only to jump apart when his mother clears her throat.

“Marinette, it’s good to meet you,” she says, pointedly ignoring the blush spreading across Marinette’s face. Jim can feel his own cheeks heating and suddenly finds the floor very interesting as he attempts to gather himself, to concentrate on all the words he was planning to say instead of only thinking of the way she felt in his arms.

“It’s lovely to meet you too Ms Lake,” Marinette says, composing herself quickly and holding out her hand.

“Please, call me Barbara.” His mom shakes her hand with a warm smile. “How was your flight?”

“It was good, thank you,” she says.

“First class treatment! What was it like?” Jim asks, and she grins at him.

“I saved you some of the pretzels,” she says, pulling out a package of them from her pocket. 

“And this is why we’re friends,” he says, and she laughs.

“Because I give you food?”

“No other reason,” he says.

“Glad to hear your friendship is so easily bought,” she teases. “A single pack of stale airline pretzels?”

“Private jet pretzels,” he says. He returns her grin and then their smiles soften. “It’s really good to see you.” The words aren’t enough, can’t convey the sense of rightness he feels at having her here, but she seems to understand anyways.

“You too.” Marinette blushes and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. The moment is broken by a man clearing his throat, somebody who looks like he just walked out of a Men in Black movie which is contrasted by the pastel pink suitcase and duffel bag he’s holding.

“Excuse me ma'am, we can bring your luggage to the vehicle,” he says, and they’re both stepping forward in tandem.

“Oh, thank you but that’s okay,” she says, while he’s saying “I can take that for you,” and thankfully the man doesn’t fight as they pull the luggage from his hands (her with the duffel, him with her suitcase) because even with his Trollhunting-obtained muscle Jim’s not sure he would win a tug-of-war with him.

“Shall we?” his mom says, leading them out to the car, and Jim feels a rush of excitement as it begins to sink in that he can finally show Marinette his home.

“It’s not a limo, but I hope it’s fancy enough,” he says, and she rolls her eyes.

“I’m sure I’ll manage.” Then her mouth quirks up in a grin that he recognizes, and she takes off after his mom. “Race you!” she calls.

“You don’t even know which one is ours!” Jim shouts back, while trying to convince the wheels on her suitcase to maintain a pace they were never built for. They fall into the backseat with flushed cheeks and racing heartbeats, and he spends half the drive home pointing out things for her to finally put an image to and the other half admiring how much better she looks in person compared to a video feed.

—

The creaking floorboard wakes him up. Not that he’d been sleeping too well anyways, his dreams a confused muddle of anxiety he's thankful didn’t break out into a full nightmare. He considers rolling over and trying to go back to sleep, but then remembers that Marinette is here and there’s a chance Draal has ignored all of his warnings and decided a midnight snack is appropriate right now. It takes a moment to locate his house robe and shrugs it on over his pyjamas before creeping into the hallway. Marinette’s door is also open.

He finds her in the kitchen, softly opening cupboards. She’s already located a mug and it’s waiting on the kitchen island, and her eyes go wide and she winces an apology at him when she sees him.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” she says, and he shrugs as he heads for the drawer where they keep their tea bags.

“It’s fine,” he says, holding them up for her to inspect. “Chamomile?” She nods and he starts the kettle boiling. “Jet lag? Or something else?” She looks away, and the dark rims under her eyes are too pronounced to come from one night.

“I don’t think I want to talk about it right now,” she says, and Jim nods. He pours them both a cup and beckons her over to the couch.

“If we use subtitles we can watch something,” he says. “Unless you’d rather be alone.”

“No,” she says, sitting down next to him. She’s wearing a blanket over her shoulders and pulls it up, tucks it around her until only her head and her hand holding her tea are poking out. “Company is good.”

They don’t say anything else as Jim pulls up Beauty and the Beast (the Disney animated one, she’d told him years ago it was her comfort film) and sets the subtitles to French. They’d been speaking English all day with only occasional slips into French, but he thinks she might need something familiar right now. Halfway through the villagers singing about how strange Belle is she shifts and her free hand creeps out of the blankets to the couch cushion between them.

“I keep seeing their faces,” she whispers, the words solemn and heavy. “There were casualties when we fought him.” He hasn’t heard anything about casualties, probably because Lucky Charm always fixes everything at the end of the battle. Everything but the guilt in her voice, the fear in her eyes, the way she flinches when he reaches out and takes her hand in his.

“It was his fault,” he says. “Not yours.” Her breath hitches a little, and he knows she’s on the verge of tears. “You saved them. You did everything you could, and you won.”

“Are you disappointed?”

“What?” He turns and looks at her, the movie forgotten as he tries to figure out what on earth he has to be disappointed about.

“I know you admired her,” she says, her eyes flicking over his face. “Ladybug, I mean. And to find out that it’s just me, and that I’m…”

“Marinette, you’re amazing,” he says honestly, squeezing her hand. “You’re brave and selfless and kind, and the only difference between you and Ladybug was that she had superpowers. You’re a hero with or without them. I could never be disappointed.”

Maybe she moves towards him or he moves forward first, but however it happens they’re bundled together in a hug. She’s shaking, and Jim wishes more than anything that he could take this from her. She doesn’t deserve this burden even if she is strong enough to carry it, and it’s a tragedy she has to.

She pulls back a little and they watch Belle sing about adventure, still wrapped in an embrace made mostly of blankets, and when Maurice heads into the castle he shifts slightly and reaches forward for the box of tissues, silently offering it to her.

“Thank you,” she says, grabbing a few.

“I wish I could help more,” he says, and they both know he’s not talking about the tissues. She looks at him, eyes still a little too wet, and gives him a smile.

“You did,” she says, quiet conviction in her voice. “Jim, you were my rock. Some days the only thing that kept me sane was knowing that I’d be able to talk to you afterwards, even if I couldn’t tell you the details.” He tightens his arm around her shoulder but says nothing, and her face scrunches up in a frown. “It’s true, you know,” she says. “I didn’t need you fighting beside me. I just needed a friend. And you were always there, no matter what time it was or how little I was saying.”

Their minds are likely both flashing over other midnight conversations, texts sent in the middle of classes and calls made by sneaking out of study hall, and although they were sparse on some details like names and events they certainly hadn’t hidden how they were feeling.

He still feels guilty, still wishes that he could have been next to her in that final battle and all the previous ones, but he has to trust that whatever little he was able to offer was enough.

The movie goes on and he feels something in his chest tighten at the library scene, as all the characters sing about something there that wasn’t there before. But was it really, he wonders? He always wants to protect his friends, always wants to help people, but sometime when he wasn’t looking Marinette quietly claimed a piece of his heart that he only just realised was missing. Falling in love with her was so easy, so natural, that the landing was soft enough to go unnoticed.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he whispers as Beauty and her Beast dance through the dazzling ballroom, and his stomach falls at her silence until he looks down and realises she’s drifted off to sleep, head using his lap as a pillow and hands curling around the blanket. 

I’ll tell her soon, he promises himself as his own eyelids start to droop. But they have time, and right now they both just need to rest.

—

It was an awful fact that whenever one promised to do something tomorrow the fated day never arrived, forever shoved aside in favor of endless todays until it's suddenly Marinette’s last day staying with him. She still likely has a few more months in Arcadia, but the packed suitcase in the hallway makes him feel like his window's closing. It was so easy to let their conversation be light and easy, to spend their days biking through the town and introducing her to his friends, that he’s managed to put it off until now. But today would be the day.

They’d planned a picnic. Just the two of them, and if he’d actually had this conversation before this could be their first date. She’d insisted on finding a red checkered blanket to spread on the ground (they’d eventually found one in a thrift store) and they’d made each other weird sandwiches (peanut butter, bacon, and banana for him, pear walnut for her), and everything was loaded in his picnic basket. The amulet was in his back pocket.

Maybe it’s better this way, he thinks, staring at his bike like it'll offer some sage wisdom for the situation. If she doesn’t feel the same it would be awkward if she was still in the same house. Or if the trolls freak her out he supposes she won't mind moving, but he can’t help but feel that confession will be the easier out of the two. After all, he’s met Tikki, and kwamis seem a bit more shocking than trolls.

“Ready to go?” Marinette asks, closing the door behind her, and Jim nods and smiles as she mounts her bike.

“No earrings?”

“I think Ladybug deserves a day off,” she says, and he wonders if Tikki knows some of what he wants to say and has decided to give them alone time. “Let’s go!”

She’d memorized the layout of the town very quickly, something she credited to years of biking being her main transportation through Paris. She also had a bad habit of looking for cars driving the wrong way while crossing the road, and he was trying to at least get her to look both ways before darting out into the street. His caution has sadly not yet caught on, and she’s quickly outpacing him as they ride towards the woods.

They dismount and leave their bikes behind a bush before walking further into the woods, Marinette admiring the surroundings with wide eyes.

“No forests in Paris?” Jim asks, and she shrugs.

“There’s some parks, but nothing this size,” she says. “And this is just here. You can walk in any direction and run into more forest.”

“Maybe we can go camping,” Jim suggests. “When your parents have gotten settled in, we can spend a weekend at Yosemite or something.” He hasn’t gone camping in years, but he’s learned plenty of wilderness survival skills from Blinky. Granted he was fairly certain only a few of them applied to humans, but it would still be fun. He’d probably find trollish lessons fun if he was doing them with Marinette.

They plan their camping trip as they cross a river, and Marinette’s laugh distracts Jim enough that his foot slips off a rock and ends up drenched in river water. She’s concerned at first but soon enough they’re both laughing over it, and they finally reach the clearing. Buttercups and daisies dot the grass between dandelions, and they spread the blanket and lie down, looking up at the cloudless sky.

“I bet the stars out here are beautiful,” Marinette says. “We have to come back some time at night and stargaze.”

“I can try and borrow Toby’s telescope,” Jim agrees. “Have you gone stargazing before?”

“Not really,” she says. “You can’t see too many in Paris from light pollution, and my nights were usually too busy to stop and look. You?”

“Same,” he says. “I’ve tried to pick out constellations a few times, but I’m terrible at it. They all look the same to me.”

“You just have to start with what you know!” Marinette says. “Find Orion’s belt or the Big Dipper and go from there.”

“So you have gone stargazing!” He props himself up on an elbow to look at her, and she shakes her head.

“No, I’ve just used star maps,” she says. “I was making a skirt design that used constellations and I wanted it to be accurate!” 

“You know you could probably just make random dots and nobody would know the difference, right?”

“I would know the difference!” she says, sitting up. “Haven’t you ever taken pride in your work? Done it right for the sake of doing so?”

“Of course! I used to drive my mom crazy by insisting on making pie crusts from scratch.”

“They taste better that way!”

“Exactly! But I never had time to make them, so we went without pie for a while until I caved and went store bought.”

“Jim!” she gasps, her hand covering her mouth in faux horror. “Never let my parents hear you say that, they’ll never let us speak again!”

“Scandalous, I know!” he agrees. “But if I have you to ask for help I won’t need to resort to such desperate measures in the future.”

“You can spend all day baking with my dad, he’ll love it,” she says. “He thinks that’s the best way to get to know somebody, so expect an interrogation while making a layer cake.”

“An interrogation? Don’t they already know me?” Marinette blushes and looks away.

“They do, but not as well as they want to,” she says. He sits up, but she still refuses to meet her gaze. “After all, they think… well…”

Tell her now, his mind screams at him. This is the perfect time! But suddenly his tongue is made of lead. “Marinette,” he says, and it’s a wonder she can hear him over the sound of his suddenly too loud heartbeat. But hear she does, and her head turns towards him maybe a little too quickly.

“Yes?”

“I…” And despite how much he wants to tell her, for whatever reason the only words he can force out of his mouth are “Would you like a sandwich?”

“Oh,” she says, deflating a little. “Yeah, sure.” His hands tremble a little as he opens up the picnic basket and passes her the food. He grabs his as well; the plan is for them to take the first bite at the same time, but he’s not sure if he can manage to eat anything from the way his stomach is twisting. “Ready?” Marinette says with a grin, but it’s not as wide as it was before.

“Wait,” he says, and she wrinkles her nose at him.

“This is a bad time to tell me you’re allergic to peanut butter,” she says, and he smiles.

“Not that,” he says. “I was actually going to tell you… well, I…” She doesn’t say anything, just stares at him with eyes bluer than the sky, and Jim wonders why this moment is harder than leaping into the Darklands.

“Marinette, you’re a great friend,” he says, and he wants to kick himself as he sees her face fall. “That’s not what I meant!” he says, and now she just looks confused. “I mean, I wanted to say that while I love our friendship, I also… I might think of you as more. More than a friend.” HIs cheeks are ablaze and he can’t meet her gaze, instead choosing to focus on his sandwich. The pickle juice will make the bread soggy, but eating it is the last thing on his mind.

“Jim, is this a date?” Marinette asks, and her voice is soft enough that he can’t discern her feelings.

“Maybe,” he says. “It can be, if you want it to be.” And he’s so ready to hear her gently turn him down (he knows she likes Adrien, and he’s just Jim! He can’t hold a candle to an actual model) that he almost misses her reply.

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, I’d like this to be a date.” He looks at her, and he’s never seen anybody look as happy as she does in that moment.

“You mean you-”

“Yeah,” she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I think I’ve liked you for a while now. I just wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

“Me neither,” he says. “I thought Adrien-”

“We’re friends,” she says. “And Claire?”

“Friends,” he says. They went on a date once and it was terribly awkward, and at the end they agreed a platonic relationship was better. But he doesn’t want to think about Claire right now, not when Marinette is there and she apparently likes him too. “I figured it out when I was watching the battle,” he confesses.

“Because you learned I was Ladybug?” she asks, and he shakes his head.

“Because I realised I couldn’t lose you,” he says. “It was more of a catalyst than a deciding factor.” It’s not Ladybug he fell in love with, it’s Marinette and all the little things about her that make her extraordinary.

“I figured it out on the plane ride over,” she says. “Alya told me to tell her all the details about ‘my new boyfriend’ and I spent the whole flight thinking about that.”

“Oh,” he says, and his cheeks are beginning to hurt from his smile. “I should have told you sooner, shouldn’t I?”

“Yes!” Marinette agrees with a laugh. “We could have been dating this whole time!”

“It’s only been a few days,” he says. “And besides, I don’t think we would have done anything too different.” Now that he thinks about it a lot of their excursions around the town could have been dates: going to the museum, petting the dogs in the pet shop, eating at his favourite cafe, visiting the library.

“I could have done this sooner,” she says, and she leans forward and kisses him. It’s a quick peck on his cheek, but he feels as though a shock of electricity has gone through him. “Sorry,” she says, pulling back. “I should have asked first.” But he puts down his sandwich and reaches out for her, slowly cupping her cheek.

“May I?” he asks, and she nods. And he lowers his lips to hers. 

It’s not like a dream, or something magical. It’s better than that because it’s real, he’s really and truly here with Marinette and they are kissing, and when he finally pulls back he can’t help but marvel at the flushed and beaming expression she’s wearing because of him.

“You’re lucky I did that before I ate the sandwich,” he says, and she laughs.

“I’d let you even with pickle breath,” she says, and not even the strange food combinations they’ve made can cause their smiles to dim. They eat and exchange the second half of their sandwiches, and drink lemonade and eat apples and toss the cores as far as they can (he’s got more strength, but yo yo throwing has made her accuracy unbeatable). And as the shadows are beginning to lengthen he doesn’t want to leave, exit this perfect afternoon and go to the next moment where he’ll have to let the rest of the world into this new and wonderful thing, but decides that since the future will hold second and third dates and hopefully many dates after that it won’t be so terrible letting this one end.

“I'm really glad that you finally told me,” she says as they pack up the picnic, shaking the crumbs off the blanket before folding it. “Despite how hard it was to get the words out.”

“Next time I’ll just use Romeo’s speech,” he says. “But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Marinette is the sun.”

“I’ll need to brush up on my Shakespeare if I want to keep up,” she says, and he shrugs.

“If you want, but I can’t think of anything better than you,” he says. “The words you speak, I mean. And the way you say things.” His cheeks are burning again, but she smiles at him and gives him another kiss.

“Sometimes you talk too much,” she says, and he nods and kisses her again. All good things must come to an end, as kisses are limited by lung capacity, but he can’t bring himself to mind now that the prospect of many more kisses await both of them in the future.

“If this is the result, I don’t think I mind being unmasked,” she tells him, and he nods. “Plus, we don’t need to play the awkward secret identity game this way.” With a flash he remembers that there were two things he wanted to tell her about, and while he doesn’t think this will be a dealbreaker he’d much rather get it out of the way sooner rather than later. He’s learned his lesson about hiding things from Marinette.

“Actually, there was one more thing I wanted to tell you about,” he says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the amulet.

[msbluebell]

You know, you forgot to mention one very important person in the Dimileth Wedding. And he’s right over there standing near the altar with the proudest smile on his face as he watches his daughter walk towards her beloved, a tear slowly falling from his face after knowing he can now truly rest in peace .

The truth is, Jeralt wasn’t really ready to die when Monica, Kronya, whatever her name was, stabbed him.

He wanted to see his wife again, he wanted to so bad he couldn’t stand it. But Byleth…Byleth was the most important thing in his world. He loved that kid, more than life and breathing itself. He couldn’t leave her yet, crying in the rain. Goddess, it’s the first time she’s ever cried.

She’s a weird kid, always has been. She didn’t cry with skinned knees, or panic when she started puberty, she never even made an expression before coming to this school. He wonders if Rhea did something, added something to the kid to keep them numb without her. He hopes not.

Still, he doesn’t move on yet. His spirit lingers, unseen and unheard until he can make sure his kid is going to be okay.

She’s…not.

It’s like losing him stripped something from her core. Where before she never seemed to feel anything, suddenly her grief for him is the most obvious thing about her, the first thing someone would notice at a glance. He’s worried, Goddess he’s worried, but at the same time his no longer beating heart swells because she really did love him, didn’t she?

Sometimes…he sees glimpses of the green haired girl his daughter told him about. He can hear the echo of her voice. And suddenly, something about this is all starting to make sense. Whatever Rhea did, it involved that girl, and Byleth started feeling around the time those dreams started turning up. So maybe…

It’s weird to think about. Gives him a headache. And more than that, he hopes he’s wrong about Rhea.

Right now he focuses on how much people seem to be taking care of her right now. He’s glad. He’s so glad. He was worried as the eternal flames, but it seems like she’s going to be fine. That Dimitri boy in particular seems to be doing her some good, he’s being supportive and comforting.

He’s almost ready to move on when they track down Kronya.

He’s about ready to scream at the kid. Look, he’s proud, and happy Byleth loves him, but this is clearly a trap. And he hates to agree with Rhea, but he doesn’t want Byleth to get herself killed trying to avenge him. Dimitri, please stop her, she listens to you sometimes.

…Dimitri?…

Dimitri you’re supposed to stop her. Goddess damn it all, his kid is too young to join him in death. 

So Jeralt has no choice but to stick around a little longer to make sure his kid doesn’t die.

If he still had a body, he’s sure he would have died from a heart attack watching that wizard prick lock his daughter in an endless void. There’s a moment where he’s stuck next to the Blue Lion kids, watching with horror as they start to break down, realizing that their teacher is gone. Dimitri is twitching scarily, his body jerking unnaturally.  The others look ready to lose it too, either to tears or anger. They’re lucky they didn’t see just how horrible it was.

Then his daughter is ripping open a hole in the sky and walking out with green hair and eyes, glowing against a red sky like she was the Goddess’ divine wrath taken form, and all Jeralt can think is what in the flames did Rhea do to his kid?

He can’t leave now, he needs answers. Rhea is setting up a ritual, and things are getting strange, and he can’t leave her alone. Well…not alone, but he can’t leave.

Though she IS getting a little chummy with that Dimitri kid.

Still, he’s way more focused on spying on Rhea now that she can’t see or hear him. He watches Rhea and Seteth talk, and he’s never appreciated Seteth as much as he has when he’s demanding answers from Rhea about what was going on with Byleth.

…what is this about his kid being a vessel? 

He wishes he could reach Byleth and tell her not to sit on that throne. But she can’t hear him, no one can, so he can only watch.

The there’s invaders in the tomb, and one of the students is unmasked at that Flame Emperor guy…gal…and Dimitri loses his mind and goes very scary very fast. Even he’s a little unnerved and he’s seen some scary stuff in his day, and he’s suddenly not so sure about his daughter’s taste in men.

Then things somehow get worse, and the Empire is invading, and he hates the Church more than most, but he doesn’t approve of starting a war over the damn thing, because war is hell and there had to be a better way to do this.

He can’t help but hate Edelgard when he watches his kid go over a cliff.

He finds her body under the rubble, so mangled that he’d mistake her for dead if it wasn’t for the spark of life in her soul. He can’t…he can’t look at her like that. He can’t. He’s not strong enough. He’ll come back to her if she wakes up.

If. 

He sticks to that Dimitri kid because he might as well look over his daughter’s crush while he waits for her to be found, or wake up, or die. Whatever happens. 

He doesn’t expect things to somehow get worse, but they do. The kid is already in the middle of a breakdown, but it seems like life just wants to fuck with this kid in particular, because he’s suddenly framed, and chased, and on the run, and goddess damned if watching this kid go through a breakdown isn’t one of the hardest things he’s ever seen in his life. Kid is tormented by ghost either Jeralt can’t see or aren’t even really there, and he doesn’t know what taking care of himself means, and frankly, Jeralt doesn’t even know how this kid is alive at this point. Watching Dimitri is like watching a bridge fall apart and crash into the water below, but someone was standing on it and all you can do is stare as they hit the water and the rubble falls on top of them. He’s constantly torn between easy sympathy and disgust, and he’s almost glad Byleth hasn’t woken up yet.

Somehow Byleth does eventually wake up, five years later, and five years of war and spiraling out of control. Jeralt goes to be with her, because he loves her and wants her to be safe and watching Dimitri has become downright unbearable. But wouldn’t you know? Dimitri must be her damned soulmate or something, because he’s right there where he promised he’d meet her on the very day he promised it. And, privately, Jeralt thinks a part of Dimitri wanted her to be there as much as Jeralt wanted her to wake up.

The next few months are Jeralt wanting to grit his teeth and punch out Dimitri’s. That’s his little girl Dimitri is talking to, and if he were alive than he wouldn’t even stand a villain talking to her that way, much less a guy she wants to marry. And, fuck, he thinks she wants to marry him because she’s not giving up on the kid. And he has sympathy for the kid, he’s been through absolute shit, but he wishes she’d give up on him and go to someone, anyone, else. He’d settle for Sylvain and that kid is pretty sleazy at times.

It turns out to be worth the effort when Dimitri starts taking actual naps and getting his head straight though. Turns out he CAN see other ghosts, because that Rodrigue guy joins him right after a pretty horrible assassination attempt gone wrong. There they are, two old men, watching their kids have a meltdown in the rain, Dimitri revealing he doesn’t think he deserves to live. Rodrigue’s lip is quivering, and Jeralt has to take a cough because it’s pretty emotional after watching these two all these years. And then that Felix kid of Rodrigue’s is pretty furious about his father’s death, and he thinks Rodrigue is ready to cry, so Jeralt gives him a manly pat on the back that doesn’t even feel like one because neither of them have bodies.

Jeralt can’t help but be proud of his girl, because she’s setting herself up as a great adviser, and Dimitri getting his head straight and marching towards Faerghus might be one of the most satisfying things he’s seen in years, and he’s finally starting to remember why he first liked the kid again. Rodrigue can’t stop beaming.

Jeralt is watching Byleth and Dimtri finally get out on top after five years in the worst place they could be and he’s never been more satisfied. He’s never been more proud than watching them walk out of the theater hand-in-hand after ending the war.

Not until the wedding, anyway.

The proposal was hilarious enough, but he manages to convince Rodrigue to stick around just long enough to watch his little girl get married. It’s the most wild thing he’s ever seen, and he wishes he was over with Alois and Catherine having a drinking contest. He feels like it’d be a good excuse. The whole thing is hilarious though, and perfect for is girl, the now Queen of Faerghus, and man isn’t that weird? He loves it, even if Rodrigue is despairing beside him.

He thinks he can rest in peace now, so he and Rodrigue both let go once the wedding dies down. Their kids will be fine.

[nancywheelxr]

"Don't worry I will always be by your side" Kara and Kate.

“I take things with Lex are still not good.”

Kara breathes out into her latte, shoulders easing, uncoiling under her coat, and the tense, bitter knot wrapping around her ribcage finally loosens– Kate is here, taking the seat in front of her, alive, smirking, heart beating as steadily as ever, and Kara feels a little less alone. Here is someone who remembers the same things she remembers, who lived through the end of the universe and didn’t come out the other end suddenly loving Lex Luthor. 

Here’s Kate.

“I take you saw that horrible, horrible,” she gags dramatically for good measure, shuddering at the memory of her own reflection smiling beside Lex and parroting his corny lines, “commercial.”

Kate grimaces, sympathetic. “Yeah, it was bad,” she flags the waiter, distractedly asking for a coffee, “it almost made me miss the anti-matter.”

“Don’t make me laugh,” Kara whines, stuffing a cupcake into her mouth. It’s only a half-hearted complaint, though, softened by the small smile spilling into her lips. Making fun of Lex is good, is nice, especially somewhere she doesn’t have to worry about the wrong crowd overhearing. “It’s just so weird to see all those people swooning over him! Even–” she trails off, not quite able to say even Lena, clears her throat, “it makes me feel crazy, like maybe I imagined the whole thing.”

The coffee arrives along with a cheesecake slice and Kara doesn’t mean to make eyes at it, seriously, but she’s sad and frustrated and maybe on a bit of a sugar bender. And, adds the little traitorous voice in her head, the one she tries very hard not to listen to because it’s stupid and a very, very bad call, it’s better than making eyes at Kate. 

“Hey, you’re not crazy,” Kate says, sounding just so sure, it soothes some of the worries, and Kara wants to ask her to promise everything is going to be okay because if she does, then maybe Kara will finally believe it, even if just a little, because if she does, then maybe the world will listen. “I was there, remember? At the Waverider and the Vanishing Point. I remember he’s a giant psycho and the world’s biggest douchebag too. You’re not crazy, okay? Barry, Sara, your sister– all the others– we all know the truth.”

Is that enough, though? The question has been rattling on her brain for a while now, clawing at her faith in the light at the end of the tunnel. If no one else knows it to be true, is it still true? How is Kara supposed to unmask his evil schemes when they didn’t even happen this time around?

Damn, that cheesecake is looking good. 

“Thanks,” she murmurs, nursing her latte and wishing they had met at the alien bar in National City instead, “and sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer.”

“Trust me,” Kate snorts, sighing tiredly, and Kara itches to reach over the tabletop and take her hand, “you’re fine, I’m not exactly Miss Sunshine over here.”

“Hey, that’s my title,” Kara feigns indignation, “it’s right there in my business card, after Girl of Steel, just ask Barry.”

“Oh, yeah? Didn’t know you had a business card now,” Kate grins and it’s almost a snicker, and satisfaction curls around Kara’s ribcage. 

“What, and you don’t? How else will the city know how to call your batphone?”

“They usually just turn on the light, you know,” she leans back, nodding subtly at the sky outside, “the giant bat signal in the sky.”

“Subtle,” Kara teases.

“Classic,” Kate counters.

They’re both smiling now and Kara is breathing easier even through the awful pollution, the helplessness retreating in an undertow, replaced by warmer waters, a slow tide of affection ignoring the sand line. 

If she’s being honest, there’s no good reason for her to be in Gotham, her excuse of scoping a story is flimsy at best, and the fact Kate hasn’t called her out on it yet has been bugging her since she left the DEO. No, not bugging, tempting. 

Kara knows she’s here just for Kate, just to ease the longing that had been nesting on her chest, just to remind herself she’s not the only one who knows the whole truth.

She just doesn’t know why Kate is going along with this– Kate, the most confrontational person she knows, the world’s acting greatest detective, mildly paranoid– without so much as a bland inquiry. And Kara, well, she’s doing what she always does when faced with the unknown: she hopes.

“Seriously, though,” Kara gathers herself, blinking to try and clear her mind, “are you alright?”

For a minute, Kate doesn’t answer. Instead, she glances at the untouched cheesecake, the cooling coffee, and sighs again. The way she’s holding herself, it’s barely noticeable, but it’s there, the careful posture, the suppressed wince when she moves– her ribs are probably cracked, bruised at the very least. No need for X-Ray on that one. 

It makes her wonder just what the hell is going on in Gotham.

Besides the whole Wonderland nightmare Kate’s sister is raging, of course. 

Yeah, kind of a stupid question now that she thinks about it.

“I’ve been worse,” Kate says eventually, “nothing I can’t handle.”

“If there’s anything I can do to help,” she leaves it open-ended, more of a reminder than a promise. This, she promised a long time ago, back in the Waverider. At the end of the world.

Kate shakes her head. “This thing with Alice– I have to figure out myself,” she raises her cup in a toast with a sad smile, “family drama.”

Kara thinks of the whole mess with Winn’s doppelganger, with Lena and Lex, with Brainy. “Family drama,” she agrees, shivering at the hollowness that suddenly settles in her bones.

Hands cover hers. When she looks up, Kate is watching her with open, clear eyes. “Stop worrying so much,” she says, the sadness fading out of her smile to be replaced with something less brittle, warmer. Truthful. “You’re not alone. If you need any help with Lex, I’ll do anything.”

Something sweeter curls around her ribs. “Thank you,” she closes her eyes briefly, letting Kate’s steady presence comfort her into bravery. “And you don’t worry either. I know things are worse than you’re letting on, but whatever it is– I’ll always be by your side, okay? You don’t have to do everything alone.”

“I think– old habits die hard, I guess,” Kate settles on. Then, she seems to shake off the heaviness on her shoulders, looks up with mischievous eyes in time to catch Kara eyeing the food again. “Sorry, did you want to share it?”

Damn, Kara thinks she really, really loves this cheesecake.

The waiter had left two forks without them asking, and maybe she should be blushing at the implications, but at this point, here, in Gotham, with Kate smiling indulgently at her and the sun shining behind her, well. 

Kara is just happy.

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Defending Christine Daae

I never thought I'd have to write a post with that title, let me tell you.

Because when I first heard of Phantom of the Opera, I was under the impression that everybody loved Christine just as much as I did. I mean, how could you help it? Well, I was wrong. It would seem that there are, in fact, people out there who don't share my exact opinion (shock of shocks) and who dislike Christine for various stupid reasons.

Now, I'm not here to point fingers at anyone or to belittle anyone's opinions in anyway, and blah-de-blah [fill in the rest of long boring disclaimer any way you wish]. But I AM here to defend one of my favourite female protagonists in a work of fiction! And defend her I WILL! IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!

Um, pardon me. Don't know how that last sentence got in there.

Now, on the internet, I've heard some flak about Christine, and though I'm not here to make anyone feel bad (see above) I do want to refute those points about her, point-by-point. (Hmm. Redundancy.) One of the biggest points against Christine is her choice to be with Raoul instead of the Phantom, who *ahem* TOTALLY needed her because he had a bad life and he taught her to sing! My opinion?

I don't think that means Christine owes him love. Appreciation and thanks, yes. But not love. The only thing he ever did that was worth any kind of love was letting Christine go. And she isn't some sort of consolation prize! It's NOT her job to fix the Phantom, only he could fix himself!

C'mon people! The two pretty much fit the qualities of an abusive relationship (emotional manipulation, throwing her around, restricting her from seeing other people etc.) And it’s kinda disturbing. “BUT!” You cry, “CHRISTINE REJECTED THE PHANTOM FOR A SHALLOW REASON! HE WAS UGLY!”

While I do understand what you’re coming from, I would like to inform you that it was actually his toxic behaviour towards her and murderous qualities that drove her away from him and made her choose Raoul. In “Final Lair”, she said one of the biggest burns in Gothic thriller history “It’s in your SOUL where the TRUE distortion lies...”  The Phantom's problem isn't with his disfigurement. No, the problem is with what he's allowed his disfigurement to make him. He's become so obsessed with the idea that no one loves him and no one will ever really care for him that he believes anyone who stands remotely in his way is just out to get him. So what does he do? He murders people whom he gets annoyed with. First Buquet, then Piangi, and finally (almost) Raoul. And that is DEFINITELY not okay! 

I think Christine saw him as more of a teacher, or a friend, or a... father figure, in a messed up way... which is more evident in the book on how she is both afraid and sympathetic for the Phantom. 

While not condoning his actions,  I do wish the Phantom could have found someone to love him. Good gracious, his final lines “IT’S OVER NOW THE MUSIC OF THE NIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” makes me tear up every time.  Gah. I'm in danger of sobbing, too, but I really want to get this post done, so I will conquer myself and think of something Funny instead. *thinks* I know! Gerard Butler’s version of the “All I Ask Of You (Reprise)”. That’ll cheer me up and make me laugh XD!

In all seriousness, I know that Erik is unstable and violent. But I also know that he really IS a gentle, misunderstood soul. You can be both, you know. The unstable and violent side of him, unfortunately, triumphed- and his dreams, his desires for love, his castle on a cloud came tumbling down because of it.

And so... onto the next point, another common argument used to bash Christine is that she’s considered to be flat, boring and goes through ZERO development! But in actual fact, there’s so much going on in her head and goes through quite an emotional travesty that it’s almost impossible to call her bland!

She is deeply wounded by the loss of her father, and has this incredible musical talent which stayed in a state of diamond in the rough before being discovered by her “Angel of Music”. He trains her, not realizing that she is becoming the center of an unhealthy obsession, genuinely believing in her naivety that he is some benevolent spirit sent by her father, therefore bringing her a sense of comfort. She is a pious girl, after all, and being religious myself, well, such a reaction from someone who believes like her is believable though naive. Can we blame Christine for that? NO. How is she supposed to guess?

And now, let's talk about "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again", aka. The Christine Empowerment™ song! I feel like the difference between a good portrayal of Christine and a great portrayal of Christine, is based on how good their rendition of this song is. It is a crucial part of the plot. One of the reason The Phantom and Raoul appeal to Christine is because of the connection they represent to her dead father. Of course, Raoul actually knew her father and the Phantom uses his memory to manipulate her. At this point in the show, Christine has become disillusioned with Raoul and is afraid of the Phantom. She realizes through the song that the only way she can’t move forward is through letting go of the past, and getting over the death of her father. This fuels her actions through the rest of the show as it makes her realize that if she wants her happy ending, she must take charge of her destiny and earn her own agency! And the Phantom, trying to use her in the moment where she was probably at her most vulnerable since she is questioning herself about her entire life, only catalyses her decision. She performs in Don Juan Triumphant, because she knows that everything is up to her, and that she cannot let the Phantom keep on destroying her life.

As for her unmasking the Phantom in "Point of No Return", Christine did this in a way to show him that she refused to be controlled by him any longer. It is certainly not the most intelligent thing to do, nor the nicest, but again, her behaviour is explainable. But as said above for Erik, it doesn’t excuse her. And it shows how she was beginning to be able to resist his pull/spell/enchantment/whatever you like to call it on her!

I adore and admire Christine Daae as a character so much, and it was her actions and story arc that really started my love for this story. Christine's ability to love unconditionally and selflessly is so profound. Even though the Phantom put her and everyone else through lots of horrors, she still doesn't hesitate to show kindness towards him but makes sure that her abuser NEVER hurts anyone EVER again. She loves Raoul so much that she's pretty much willing to sacrifice her freedom and happiness so Raoul could be free. No matter what circumstances she is given, she will still put the ones she loves before herself no matter what, even if it means giving up a chance to save herself. I know most of us won’t ever be put in such an extreme scenario but Christine is such an inspiration of how to love others and believe in them despite flaws and bad sides. She inspires me to see the good in people. It’s so easy to be cynical and hardened in this world, and I think that Phantom of the Opera reminds us to have kindness and light in our hearts, even in challenging circumstances.

I would also like to add another moment of character. Think what it must have taken to prepare for the female lead role in a 3-act opera. Christine wasn’t even an understudy. In a matter of minutes, she went from member of the ballet corps to the lead role, and she had to rehearse and remember new music, character, blocking, and vocals. Not only did she prepare in time, she performed so well that she became a hit. This reveals, not only the skill and beauty of her voice, but also her concentration, diligence, and acting capability. Everyone hails the Phantom as the ultimate musical genius—and he is—but they overlook the implied extent of Christine’s skill.

She went through the loss of both parents, manipulation, being stalked, and knowing that the person she loves most has his life on the line - because of her. And then she literally gets off of her knees and shows her abuser the first form of kindness he has ever known. Not even the Phantom was strong enough for that; he gave up on the world far too early. Christine is the embodiment of courage and kindness; she teaches us to love and forgive those who have been awful to us, and to protect those we love even if it means our own suffering. But she no longer succumbs to the Phantom and makes sure her abuser never hurts anyone EVER again. Seriously, this girl is AWESOME! And this was in the 18th century! It's really sad that such a great character is overlooked by many...

It seems that Leroux really understood women... That we can be emotional, we are vulnerable but not weak... And emotion really helps us when we keep them in control!

Christine, in a nutshell, is a kind, observant, compassionate, trusting young woman–a too trusting at first–but with a spine of steel and determination once she’s drawn the line. She loves people deeply, but she picks up quickly on the realities of the situation. She has the strongest character arc in the story and makes the choices to grow and to move on. Yet she remains gentle and compassionate, uses her love to bless and not manipulate. She’s a layered character who grows. And there’s so much more to her than meets the eye.

[positivementalaxolotl]

A Little Lesson In Trickery: Adrien Agrest Isn’t Good At It.

It had been a long night. Ladybug and Chat Noir had just ended another fight and separated back to their homes.

Well, not quite.

Marinette went home, but Adrien? He was suppose to already be asleep so no one would be checking on him, and frankly he had a lot to think about. He technically did go home, but only for a quick refuel and prepare in case he needed to again. He knew he wasn't suppose to use his powers for selfish reasons but... This wasn't entirely selfish right? Keeping himself in a stable mindset would help him in battle, help save Paris and the people in it, so it would indirectly help, right?

Leaving again, he jumped from building to building feeling the air wisping by his face. It was a chilly night but he still needed the fresh breeze flying by. In a way, staying off the ground helped him beccome more grounded. Reminded him that he was more than his father saw in him, that he could do more than look pretty and smile.

He could be happy, even after the previous day. He and Kagami were so happy together, he thought it might've been fate, but no matter what he did he couldn't completely get over his first love, Ladybug. Adrien had made the mistake of telling Kagami the focus of his desires in life and broke her heart. Hearing that he loved someone else but was trying to forget and use her... It hurt so much more.

Luckily all it took was a few sentances between them and they still thought of each other as very close friends. He cared about Kagami and hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do, but some things are inevitable. All they needed was a little time and after that hopefully they'd be able to resume what they had. Comfortable companionship, nothing romantic.

Actually, speaking of his lady, she seemed off that night. Something was obviously on her mind, but she dismissed it as soon as she was asked what was wrong. After the battle he had tried again but she pretended like she was about to transform any second, when she clearly had several minutes left. Instead of pushing it, he decided to give her time. Whatever it was it was serious and made her distracted, he didn't want to remind her of whatever happened.

His long journey through the night had him on a very familiar street. He hadn't exactly been paying attention to where he was going, his cat senses would be able to lead him back home, anyways. Jumping from building to building hadn't stressed any of his stamina or made him any more tired, if anything he felt much more clear and rejuvinated. But his better mood was quickly washed away when a familiar girl on a familiar balcony on that familiar street was seen. She seemed upset, almost like she had just finished crying- maybe she still was. As a super hero of Paris, and his dear friend Marinette being a Parisian, he felt a duty to to at least offer an ear. Though it was more because he didn't want to see her hurt.

He jump to the building next to the balcony and leaped onto the railing, startling the girl sitting on her lawn chair, covering herself with a blanket and a cup of what he figured to be hot cocoa. "Marinette? I'm sorry to *jump* in like this. I promise I didn't mean to startle you."

The girl seemed panicked for a moment, looking around. She looked over to her planter box full of roses though and took a very visible sigh of relief. Was the box loose? No matter, he had other things to focus on right now. "No, it's fine. Though I am surprised to see you out here." She said, sniffling and wiping her eyes before continuing, now looking away out of embarrassment from being caught crying. Such a small world apparently. "What are you doing out here? Is there an akuma? If so you have better things to be doing than staying here."

The statement had a ring of sounding to it that he thought might be her wanting him to leave, it worried him but there wasn't anything obvious in her expression or words that convinced him she did. "I was just taking a walk, don't worry. Well, less of a walk and more of a leap around." He gave a soft smile, walking over to her as she seemed to relax more. Perhaps she didn't want him to leave. She certainly seemed welcoming enough. Not that he would stay if she didn't, but he wasn't sure if she did. "But... Is everything okay? I'm... I know I'm a super hero and all but that's more than saving Paris from monsters. It's saving it's civilians from being alone too." Obviously he couldn't help everyone who needed someone, but he wanted to whenever he could. Sitting next to the lawn chair, he looked up to her. "If you don't want to say anything or if you don't want me here-"

And then he was caught off by the girl in question. "No, I'm glad you're here. If anything, you came at the perfect time. I'm just having... A difficult time right now. So much drama, I'm sure you don't want to hear any of it. And I don't blame you, if I were in your shoes I don't know if I would be able to handle any more drama." She tried to joke, though it was so half hearted it went over Chats head that she was trying to even giggle to herself.

"Not want to hear any of it? Marinette, you attended my pitty party when Ladybug didn't show up to the rooftop date I set up for her. Even if I didn't want to be there for you, it's really the least I could do." If Chat squinted, he swore he would be able to see that Marinette had a flash of an expression of guilt plastered to her fae, before quickly hiding it. Though he was sure it was just from it being so dark. He was better able to see because of the Paris lights and his cat-like vision, but even that didn't make it perfect and clearly visible. "Spill all the beans you want, I won't force you but you seem like you want to get something off of your chest."

Marinette finally fully smiled, feeling accompanied and supported. She never really imagined Chat caring about her as more than a civilian he had to save, but he seemed to be a lot more serious about the job, and perhaps he really wanted to be her friend. "Bean? Like a cats toe beans?"

Laughing escaped both of out heros lips, both masked and unmasked. Disquised and unrecognizable. "Not what I meant but I'll take the credit."

It was nice, being able to be so light hearted in a horrible time in her life. At least not everything in her life was terrible at the moment- No. She needed to not think like that. She had plenty to be happy about...

Chats smile slowly faded as Marinette got lost in thought. He remained patient though, waiting for her to go on.

"A lot is going on in my life right now. Lila Rossi? We've saved her a few times from akumas but... She's going after me. She keeps threatening me and trying to get everyone to hate me- and today I think... I think it worked. None of my friends are talking to me and Lila just keeps snickering at me. Even Alya is taking her side. She tried to explain it to me but none of it was relevant because I knew she was lying. But I'm the only one so I look like the asshole..." She sight, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them, tears spilling again. Chat noticed everyone had isolated her that morning, but Lila had told him that something had happened and she wanted to be alone, so he believed her. He needed to talk to her tomorrow at school. "I guess I exaggerated a little bit... There's still one person who talks to me. But unfortunately it's my boyfriend..."

Chat tilted his head a bit, much like a cat would when it saw something interesting or confusing out the window, though in Chats case it would be the latter. He knew she was dating Luka, but why was that a problem? And *Chat* didn't know she was dating anyone. "Your boyfriend? I didn't know you were with someone. Why would that be an issue?"

Marinette sniffled, reaching over to her round table with a box of tissues, only then did Chat notice the wads of tissue that littered her balcony. "Because... I've kind of been using him. I'm in love with someone else but I realized they loved someone else and I wanted to move on. Though I guess I moved on in a terrible way and I don't want to hurt him. I want to stay his friend but what if he's mad at me for using him? That I never moved on from Ad- erm... The boy I'm in love with?"

The blonde in leather listened intently, memorizing every word. "I'm sure he wouldn't be mad- I mean, you're still trying to figure out what you want. As long as you talk to him I'm sure he'll be okay. Some time apart to think and make things clear will help too." He smiled up to her, moving from the cold floor to sit next to her on the chair. "If it helps, I recently went through something similar- yesterday in fact. Really, it's the reason I needed some fresh air. I was with a girl that I tried to make myself think I loved, but... No matter what I could only think of Ladybug and how unfairly I was treating this poor girl by using her as a crutch for my feelings. If you need time to move on properly then you can't take shortcuts- I know that now and hopefully you do too." He did know what he was talking about. He had experienced this first hand.

"Thank Chat." The darker haired girl sniffled out and layed back, looking up at his with puffy red eyes. They were a beautiful shade of blue. "You really did help me. How... How did things end out?"

Now sitting criss-cross and pressing his elbow to his knee, Chat rested his chin on his palm. "We're still friends. We're taking some time but we hopefully will be able to get our heads on straight enough to continue being friends." The reminder that they were friends made his smile a little wider, a tiny bit more genuine. "If I may ask, who are these people you're talking about? Maybe I know them and I can help."

Marinette figured that there was no way that in all of Paris he would know Luka. Adrien was kind of a celebrity so it would be hard to say that Chat hasn't at least heard of him. "Well... My boyfriends name is Luka. He really is sweet, he's just not the one. And the boy I'm in love with..." She took a moment, could this in any way reveal who she was to Chat? She suddenly remembered back a few months ago, Bunnix had taken her to another timeline where Chat Noir was Chat Blanc, how it was all because she somehow let Adrien know who she was and he somehow got the news to Chat who somehow used that to get her and him together- though she didn't know how. But there was no way that could happen here, right?

"The boy I love- it's silly... There's no chance."

A hand reached over tilting her head from the point where it looked down in shame that he had feelings. Her gaze was met with Chats and he already knew what he was going to say. "It's not silly. I'm in love with a girl that repeatedly tells me no. As much as I wish I could change my heart, I can't." He gave a reassuring, support smile before letting her chin go and sitting back.

Taking a deep breathe, the girl nodded. It was several moments, seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years... She didn't know how long, but it was a minute.

"Adrien Agrest- He um..."

The boys ears perked up and his face heated up. Wait, him? Did she mean like- someone he introduced her to? There were the people at the fencing class that he helped introduce her to, he brought her and a few other friends to some photoshoots and such with plenty of people... "W-What about him?"

"He's the... He's the guy I love. I know it won't happen, but I can't help it." He sighed, flinching to prepare for the hurt in her heart to settle in, though she's surprised when she truthfully feels better. Chat is quiet for a moment so she looks up, though the sight before her is a surprise. Chat is blushing- or is that the lighting? No, there weren't any pink lights nearby, maybe she's just tired- it was getting pretty late. "Chat are you oka-"

"Yup!" The questioned kitty swiftly and quite loudly confirms. "I'm just peachy! *Cats* just got my tongue is all!" He laughs just as volumously and as Marinette notices, forced.

"Do you not like Adrien?" She tilts her head, mirroring Chats previous action, a very cat like motion. "I know a lot of people think that because he's rich he's stuck up but I know him personally and he's actually-"

"No, no that's not it! I actually know him personally too!" Realizing his mistake, Chat quickly covers his mouth. Big green eyes looking much wider than before as he panicks. Will she figure me out?

"Oh... Then what is it? If I didn't know any better I'd think you were blushing over there-" It seemed a thought crossed Marinettes mind, but it was obvious she had to force it to the back burner.

"I erm... I don't know how to say it-" He had to respond or else she would figure him out- no more secret identity then no more Chat Noir Adrien, No more Chat Noir Adrien, no more freedom. "I have a crush on him too!"

He mentally facepalmed- why would he say that? Now when she figured him out she would think he was so self absorbed- though at least he wouldn't have to break her heart-

She paused, staring. "Oh." She made out after several minutes, then remained silent for several more. It was awkward for them both.

"Erm... You know, as I said I know him personally and him and Kagami broke up- it seems that these days a lot of people are trying to get over someone else." He tried so desperately to fix the situation.

"Are you saying he likes me back?" She seemed to get the slightest glimmer in her eyes of hope- and Chat knew that he had to squander it- fuck.

He hated to do it so reluctantly, he responds. "No, unfortunately he doesn't. He likes... Someone else." He looked away and bit his lip, seeming so upset that he had to hurt her. "Though he talks about you a lot! He does like you just... Just as a friend. A very good one, one of his best friends! He just wishes you could talk to him and be more open... Maybe if you tell him how you feel you'll be able to feel more comfortable around him. He's not the kind of guy to shame you for it or anything." Chat could only offer more and more words and a smile that he could only hope helped her feel better.

It does. Only a little bit but it does. She sunk back down and looked up to the sky. "So many girls are after him. Chloe, Lila, hundreds of fan girls. I knew I didn't have a chance. Though... Being friends is better than nothing. Perhaps he'll fall for me in time, perhaps not, but with so many options for him I can't blame him for not picking the weirdo girl who always makes strange noises around him."

He frowns. He really is letting her down, maybe at school he should tell her- no. He wasn't doing that again. But then the girl spoke up again. "If I tell him how I feel about him, you have to too. I'm not taking your advice unless you're confident enough to yourself."

She had a point- but how was he suppose to do that? Obviously he couldn't do it at the same time as her because he can't be two people. But maybe when she came over to him the next day he could mention he had to turn Chat down? Yeah yeah, that makes sense.

The girl yawned and stretched. She was exhausted and needed some sleep. "Hey Chat, I need sleep for tomorrow school- I mean, school tomorrow."

Without a second thought, the boy scooped the lady up bridal style, already walking her to the hatch- she's obviously surprised since she thought that she would be walking herself to bed- but she didn't have the energy to complain. So she nuzzled his shoulder as a thank you and quickly fell asleep in his arms. He was able to get her to bed without a hitch and decided that was enough torturing people for one night, so he headed home- Plagg happily ate the leftover cheese he got from the start of the night.

------------------------------

The next day started and Marinette was full of energy. She trusted Chat and knew he wouldn't lead her astray or lie to her, so she felt confident that Adrien wouldn't make a laughing stalk of her.

She put in her lucky hair ribbons and a nice denim jacket- heck, if she's doing herself up all special she might as well wear that skirt she's been dying to try out on herself. ANd she has to say she erally likes it with her cute t-shirt and cardigan. She looked soft and pastel but modern as well. She actually felt... Cute!

Heading to school with a nice breakfast in her stomach, she marching with her head held high and a bright smile, texting Alya that she was going to tell Adrien.

Of coarse Alya also thought that Adrien was still with Kagami, so she told her not to- it would make her seem like she was trying to steal him away from her, but she made sure Alya knew that she had no intent on actually going out with him. She just wanted things off of her chest. Alyas response did surprise her but after the previous days events, she understood it. Alya was hesitant to be the fault of Marinettes heart break and wasn't as sure about Marinettes actions or intentions. Thanks Lila.

Maybe this could even clear her name? Instead of stealing Adrien away, she would be helping him find happiness in someone else! And perhaps that someone was Chat.

As she walked through those doors, the girl looked around until a familiar head of blonde hair came to view. She smiled to herself and walked over to him, gently tapping his shoulder. He seemed to be having a conversation with Nino who looked- apologetic. He tipped his hat Marinettes way then noticed how she looked. "Oh uh- MariDude. I'm sorry about yesterday I just- erm... You know, Lila is really persuasive. I didn't mean to make you think I turned on you or anything, I was just confused and didn't know who to trust. I'm so sorry that I like, ever doubted you."

Adrien smiled to his friend, proud that he stepped up to his mistake. "Yeah, I noticed you were down but Lila insisted that you just had something going on. I didn't know you were going through *anything* let alone another one of Lila's hissy fits. I... I should have at least tried to talk to you and hear it straight from you."

Marinette was surprised and gave a soft smile. At least Someone besides Luka was there for her from the beginning. She couldn't help but reach over and hug the two tightly. It was a warm and forgiving embrace- after all, everyone makes mistakes and Lila tricked everyone, so the fact that Nino was going against what everyone else thought was enough for her to believe him. "It's alright you two. I'm just so happy you don't hate me-"

This seemed to surprise them both, pulling away. Nino and Adrien held onto each shoulder, speaking at the same time as if they had rehearsed this- but they were so genuinely surprised there was no chance they did. "We could never hate you, Marinette!" One of the two boys adding 'Dude' to the end.

She sniffled, wiping her eyes. Adrien hated seeing her hurt, but this time the tears were accompanied with a smile that he himself had worn as well. "Thank you so much, especially you Adrien since it seemed like you talked to him... I guess I'm really lucky, huh?" It was a small feat, but one that made a big difference in her mood. Both boys were happy to see her so happy.

"Anyways, I'm going to go tell Alya what Adrien told me. It's almost time for class so I'll meet you two in class." And with that, Nino walked off to find where Alya was. Marinette and Adrien alone together now.

They were quiet for a moment. Was Mari really about to do this? How could she? How couldn't she? She promised Chat that she would- "So... How is everything?" She decided to start. Maybe she could just bring it up casually?

The boy laughed a little- now very aware of what she was doing. How did he not see it before? It was so obvious that she liked him, though he was locked in a big house with home school so he didn't have a lot of people skills. "I'm doing fine, Marinette. A lot has happened these last few days. Photoshoots, dating, breaking up and then Lila..."

So he hadn't told him yet? Or maybe Adrien just didn't want to talk about it. Maybe she forced Chat to talk to him too soon after he broke up with Kagami- how hurt was he? "I'm so sorry to hear about that! You and Kagami sounded so happy together. If you want to talk about it you can." Now she knew that she was procrastinating what she had to do, but she couldn't help it.

The boy nodded though and decided to take the offer. Talking about the same thing twice to the same person as two differen't people? Who would have thought that would happen to him. "We were very happy together, but I can't say that I was with her for good reasons. It was a distraction from the person that I'm in love with. But I know deep down that it would never happen... I just need to learn to get over it."

"Why wouldn't it ever happen?" She asked, curious. No, Chat had confirmed that it wasn't her- but she had to support him in whoever it was! If he was in love with Chloe or someone else she had to be there for him! "Anyone would be crazy to turn you down. You're the biggest sweetheart I've ever met!"

Her grin was immeasurable. She was so truthfully joyful and it brought a grin of his own onto the playing field. "Well the person I love isn't exactly on my level... They're so much more popular than me. They'd never have the same feelings for me that I have for them. They've been there for me ever since I met them but they like someone else." It was a sad truth- to Adrien at least.

But Marinette wouldn't let him think that way. Opening her mouth to speak she-

RING

The school bell rang and Adrien looked around, as if confirming that he wasn't imagining it. "Sorry- maybe we can continue this conversation at lunch?" He started. Marinette nodded and the blonde started up to class. Marinette still needed to head to her locker so she did so and packed up her things. While away, she got a text from Alya, apologizing for her attitude the day before and that morning. Today couldn't get much better, could it? She finished getting her text bbooks together and headed to class where her normal arrangement of seats were a little mixed. Nino and Alya were sitting next to each other and Adrien was by himself. Likely what happened? Alya told Nino that Marinette was going to tell Adrien her feelings for him. Chloe was in the room, getting excited and jumped at the opportunity to sit next to her "Adrikins."

She was a little disappointed- until Adrien had explained to her that the seat was taken. He had saved her a seat- in fact as soon as he aske Chloe to get out of the seat, he looked and waved over Marinette, to which Chloe scoffed.

"You're really going to sit with that lying idiot? Did you hear what she did yesterday? And she even tried to blame Lila, saying she was a liar! Yet you're going to choose that pompous brat over me? Ridiculous!"

Adrien shook his head. "Chloe, did you even think about if Marinette was right? You only jumped to the same comclusion as everyone else *because* of everyone else. You like to follow trends. You hardly even *know* Lila so why would you even believe her?" He did little to even look at Chloe after that, trying to reassure Marinette that it was alright. "It's okay, Marinette. I'm still here for you."

Those words cause a whole change in her demeanor. She say next to the boy of her dreams, slouched and completely relaxed- even Alya was surprised to see her so lax. "Thanks Adrien, I can always count on you."

Previously mentioned blonde stormed off, declaring war against Marinette Dupain-Cheng and sitting next to Sabrina.

------------------------------

It was now the end of the day. Marinette and Adrien had such a productive day together and had so much fun with each other. She decided the end of the day would be the best time to tell him, so they could go home and think about what was spoken about and then tomorrow they could talk to each other about it and finally conclude to being best friends! That was all she wanted at this point in time. So now they were standing out in front of the building while Adrien waited for the Gorilla.

"Hey Adrien? Can I tell you something?"

The boy looked expectedly to the other, as if he knew what she was going to say. "Of coarse Marinette. You can talk to me about anything."

The girl nodded, shifting her weight from the front of her toes to the backs of her heels. "So long story short, Chat Noir gave me a surprise visit last night." The looked surprised, but it seemed a little off.

"Chat Noir? What was going on?"

She took a deep breath. She had to do this. "He told me that you and him know each other personally and that you're in love with someone else. I'm guessing he hasn't spoken to you yet?"

"Nope." The boy froze, stiff, blushing bright red at the reminder of what Chat had told Marinette. He was such an idiot- why did he have to say he had a crush on himself? Was he really that dumb? He knew he was smarter than that.

Bluebell eyes shifted around, half shut while observing the blonde in front of her. Adrien was acting strange. At the mention of his crush and Chat Noir, he was already a mess. Why would he be so distraut about Chat Noir? "Alright... Well, he's suppose to see- are you alright? Do you have a fever or anything?"

The boy only could glance away, coughing into his hand with big nervous energy. "No no, I'm fine I'm fine." He promised.

"Okay, if you say so..." She started, still worried. "Well he told me he would talk to you about something if I spoke to you about something." She took a deep breath.

Adrien wanted to just support her. He forced himself into a better composure before looking back to her. "Of coarse! You say whatever you want. I won't judge you."

The girl came back with a new found confidence. She had to do this for Chat. She couldn't let him down! Not after he helped her so much! "I wanted to tell you that- that... um... H-He's curious about the girl you like! He wants to hear all about her!" Shoot! Now not only was she avoiding the underlying issue but she was risking Chats feelings! He doesn't want to hear about her, he wants to tell him his feelings! Shoot shoot shoot-"

Now Adrien was panicking- he couldn't tell her he liked Ladybug! It was embarrassing enough to tell his now ex about it, but his friend that had finally given the chance to get close to and had feelings for him! He bit his lip and glanced away again-

Though to Marinette, Adrien had freaked out twice now when Chat Noir was mentioned. AFter thinking about it for a minute, it seemed to snap the puzzle piece into her brain. She knew what was going on!

"Adrien, did you tell Chat Noir you had a crush on a girl because you really had a crush on him?" She seemed genuinely curious and needed to know.

Poor poor Adrien getting mixed up in this whole situation. He didn't know what to say so he stuttered, trying to explain himself without revealing that he actually loved Ladybug or that he was Chat Noir! Imagine the betrayal she would feel if she ever found out that he pretended not to know her and still consoled her as someone else! Fuck fuck fuck-

"Adrien, you don't have to pretend with me. I'll support you, no matter who you love! That's what friends are for, right?" She seemed so happy to hear that Adrien knew who he loved. Who he wanted to be with. Even if Adrien was in love with another boy, she didn't care. He could be happy since she now knew they both loved each other!

Adrien just became silent. He couldn't get himself out of this one without either embarrassing himself or revealing his identity which was a big old no no. "Y-You caught me red handed..."

She laughed happily and hugged him tightly. "When Chat comes by, I think you should tell him how you feel! It'll really clear things up for you!"

He found it ironic that Marinette was saying this, yet she hadn't done so herself. "Alright I... Guess I will. But only if you tell your crush that you like him!"

Marinettes brows furrowed in confusion very suddenly. "I never mentioned even having a crush- how did you know?"

Now he was *really* panicking. He needed to get out of here. He was screwing everything up! He was about to get found out! But by some miracle the girl didn't seem to figure out. Instead she took her own notes of his body and came to her own conclusion. "Wait a second, did Chat already see you? He did didn't he? And then he told you I liked you! You two are already together huh? I oughtta grab that kitty by the tail and- and-" But deep inside, she knew she wouldn't do anything to Chat Noir He was so kind and sweet, and she already hurt him enough by liking someone not at all interested in her. Leaning forward and placing her forehead on the others chest, she could only sigh, embarrassed as all hell. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

Green eyes shut and he gave the wildly blushing damsel in distress an embrace. Supportive and caring... "It's alright. I still want to be your friend. I'm sure we just need some time. Or we could go into this friendship thing guns ablaze." He joked.

"Yeah. That sounds nice."

------------------------------

Tell me what you thought! I’m not new to writing fanfiction but I think this is the first fanfic I’ve written on here... Anyways, I had this idea stuck in my head ever since a post by @buggachat (Particularly >>>THIS<<< post) This is mostly an original idea, since I’d been thinking about it before. Buggachat is just so inspiring with some of their things though so some of that got shown here! (Erm I hope it’s okay with them- I uh... Didn’t exactly ask if they wanted a plug or anything but they deserve more love!)

[neshabeingchildish]

Poly Wanna 15

Getting down to the crumbs in the bottom of the bag, I think. @chenoahchantel @henry-p-fart Y’all are the only ones that I heard back from the past chapter. It’s all on y’all now. Let me know how quickly I gotta end this, since it’s just y’all two sticking around.

Priorities and Boundaries

Henry had meetings with his production team before any of his appointments. They… didn’t go as he would have hoped. 

“So, Henry… As we all know, the recordings have taken somewhat of a turn in the past few weeks and we only have a few more weeks of recording before we take everything into production. We need to know what it is you want us to create with what we’ve been given.”

“What do you mean?” He asked. “The stuff is right there. A look at my life and what matters to me. A look at who I am.”

“Right, but the premise of this show was supposed to be who you are outside of these people, and all you’ve done is manage to show how much you can’t live without them. Now, if we’re making a reality show about your road to poly love, that’s one thing, but if this is supposed to be Dr. Henry Hart, out of the shadows of his Swellview contacts, you haven’t given us much to work with. Not to mention the heinously under-utilized opportunity we had to include Chloe and Bianca in this journey. We need more scenes with them, more footage of them, less footage of Charlotte and Jasper, more individual Henry, and for individual Henry to give us some of his juicier stuff from earlier in recording.”

“There was never anything juicy. I’ve been being myself the whole time. I can give you solo stuff, but I’m mostly in the Man Cave whenever I’m not in an appointment or with Char and Jasper.”

“THAT’S the problem. You spend too much time with them and not enough time giving us good content. Nobody is gonna watch a show about a sex doctor who is as fucked up as his clientele sexually and nobody is going to take relationship advice from a therapist that they discover is only just finding himself romantically, UNLESS you show us that despite these things, he is well rounded and capable. So far… You’ve managed to make yourself look even more inept than ever before and far more dependent than anybody would have guessed.”

“I’m finally in a healthy relationship again. I feel human. That’s my truth.”

“Okay… But… There’s more to your truth. What if… You unmasked?”

“If what.” Henry said it with no facial expression or tone of voice. Surely, they were joking.

“We feel like the only thing that could really save this show right now is either a scandal or a sensation. I mean - let’s be honest, Henry. You’re enjoying this relationship right now, but in a few months, you’ll be bored of them and want more. You’ll remember how orgies felt and like and you. Will. Cheat. You’re not going to remain in this relationship and therefore… you shouldn’t prioritize it over the success of this show that you’ve put a lot of time and money into, and WE have put a lot into as well! We should work together on making a marketable product out of Henry Hart.”

“Dr. Henry Hart,” he said. “And… the product is as it is.”

“Well, the product is defective, then!” Grumpy Cat said and got up. “Listen, you two can do this with him, but I’m not putting other projects on hold for something that all of the professionals in the room see going down the toilet.” 

He stormed out and Henry conferenced to the doorman, “Gooch, make sure that you collect all of Tyson’s things. He’s saying goodbye to this operation.”

“Acknowledged,” the young Gooch said. 

Henry stood up, walked over to the door and locked it, cracked his knuckles and said, “I understand that there may be some frustrations about how things have turned out. I had a certain plan in mind for this project, as well. Have things changed, definitely? But, my goals haven’t. So, maybe, just maybe there is no unknown Henry Hart outside of his friends. But, whoever I am, that’s who you show. And, sure - if you want to try to film with Chloe and Bianca, I can’t stop you, but I don’t really have any reason to say anything more to either of them and my partners don’t, either. One thing that I need for both of you to understand at this moment is this fact - whenever your team met me, I didn’t have anything to lose, because I had lost everything, twice. I wasn’t loved and I wasn’t attached. There were boundaries that I never established, because I honestly couldn’t have cared less. What you need to now understand is that I’ve gotten my world back. In abundance. I’ve got boundaries now. I have priorities. So, say your piece, do your dance - whatever you feel like needs to be said or done, but I will in turn do what I feel like I have to do to protect my world. What will never be acceptable is to be on the attack when it comes to either of the two of them, and God help you, if I feel like you’re a threat to both, or to us…” 

His intercom sounded and Young Gooch reported, “It’s done boss. All of the subjects’ Kid Danger and Mr. Feelgood memories have been removed from the revelation point through the present…” Both remaining members of the team gasped and looked at each other in horror.

“Gooooood. Report to Schwoz for a quality assurance survey for the changes in the new and improved memory swiper, please.”

“Got it, Boss.”

Henry noticed that his sleeve was unbuttoned, and casually corrected that. “You.. you stole all of Tyson’s memories of you from the past three years?”

Henry furrowed his eyebrows, fixed his collar and corrected her. “I withdrew the privilege of him knowing my secrets. He gave up on me. He doesn’t deserve them and he signed a waiver specifically detailing that memories would be removed should he leave the operation disgruntled.”

“He was upset! You didn’t even give us a chance to talk some sense into him!”

“I don’t have room for the possibility of him walking out of here and calling the Swellview News. Swellview is way more dangerous than it once was. The secret of my identity can affect the safety of my lovers. I can’t allow it. Thank you guys for this meeting, though. I can’t WAIT to see what other ideas you might come up with for the rest of the show.”

“Well… What… about the announcement? To… to your families?” 

Henry smiled and clapped his hands together once, “See! He’s still thinking. I love it. I’ll talk with the others. You two have a wonderful day.”

.

My parents both think that I am a sexual deviant who, I’m not sure if they think that I went into this line of work to meet all of the nymphos and whatnot in Swellview and surrounding areas, but as I’ve tried to tell them numerous times, having a healthy, even highly populated sex life is completely normal, especially when boundaries are established and agreements are clearly stated. A woman goes to hang out with her friends and everyone talks up a gangbang that she reluctantly agrees to - problematic and possibly assault, depending on the details. A woman WANTS a gangbang and speaks with several friends regarding their desires and compromises, whether she does this only once or forty more times - perfectly healthy. The idea and concept of respecting one’s body and things of that nature are generally steeped in the socialization of the times. Now, the way that we internalize problematic socialization definitely can alter the normalcy of these examples. For instance if the woman in either example grew up watching porn - her viewpoint of a gangbang would be influenced by that. If she grew up in a church and wore a purity ring for all of her adolescence and was given abstinence only sex “education...” If she had no access to porn, but realistic parents and an excellent sex education system… there still would be some remnants of what society says about all of these things, but she would be in the position to make healthy, fulfilling decisions about her body and her sexual interactions. I too am capable of this! My family needs to know that because I have two partners now, that is perfectly safe and healthy… and hopefully, their parents can come to see that, as well. 

.

Charlotte focused on her current records of the most recent findings with her project. There was no good way to tell her mother about Henry and Jasper. Her mother had never been the type of person who would be open to this. For all that she was conscious of and all that she believed Charlotte should have the independence to do… She never would be comfortable or supportive of a polyamorous relationship. She won’t even CALL it that. Whenever Charlotte tried to tell her about before, she said something to the effect of, “That will never last, Honey. It’s hard enough to dedicate your all to one man, much less two.” Charlotte was trying to dedicate her all to two men. Not then, and not now.

What Charlotte did in a relationship was offer her partner a percentage of herself - selected energy, time, space, access, and in turn expected a certain amount from them, and in her mind THAT was the only type of relationship that made any kind of sense! What didn’t make sense to her was that her mom thought that it was reasonable to be the type of person she raised her to be, but also simultaneously commit to another person in such a way that it could be described as “giving her all.”

If I gave my all, what would be left for me? I’m giving you what you deserve, and that itself is on a “if you deserve anything” basis. If you don’t, it’s over. But, never will I ever give my all. That’s reserved for me.

“Jasper… How would you say it? Like, if you and my mom were talking?” She asked. He looked up from his laptop and stared at her for a while, honestly lost, because this conversation came out of nowhere and moments before, he was researching the cosmetic benefits of breast milk. She’d mentioned it and he went down a rabbit hole. Now, he had to focus. What did she ask him? Jasper… How would you say it? Like, if you and my mom were talking? What did that mean? OH!

“Well, I would say, ‘I know that this is a very strange arrangement from the outside looking in, but fortunately for you and your confusion, there’s no necessity for you to understand it. All that is requested is your support and hopefully you don’t have to fully understand someone that you love in order to give them that.”

“WOW! Jasper… That was actually great.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Char. I’m a little bit insulted by your decision to interject the word “actually” into that compliment.”

“Gonna be honest with you, that’s fair. Sorry, Booty Bear. I didn’t mean because of you. I meant because I’ve known my mom my entire life and at least half of that, I’ve been poly and not able to figure it out and not able to figure out how to tell her. Now that I’ve figured it out… Trying to come out to her again, this time in such a serious capacity - it’s terrifying. I just… Know that she’ll disapprove. So the whole angle of the fact that she doesn’t have to get it to support me is just what I need.”

“Well, I never know what you’ve got going on. Whenever you talk about spirituality or science. Whenever you tell me about work and your interests… I try to keep up, but I rarely can, and it never changes what I think of you, how much I love you or support you. So, really, I was simply speaking from my personal experience.”

She held her hand over her heart and moved to go hug him. 

Henry came off of the elevator and smiled at them. “Okay… WITHOUT me?” He joked.

Charlotte unhanded Jasper and his arms missed her already. She told Henry, “Jasper just gave me the basis of my thesis to my mom about our relationship.”

“Really? I thought that I had that covered,” Henry said.

“You have the psychological and health portion, but Jasper has the bottom line. I already know from the last time that “Well, I’m a grown woman and I make my own decisions,” will only lead to it being cited against me for the rest of my life. My mom is Petty Page with everyone but the one person she should have been petty with.”

“Did you just…?” Henry asked.

“I love petty puns,” Charlotte replied.

“Petty White. Petty Wright. Petty Wap. Petty Labelle. Peter Pettygrew. Pettycake, Pettycake Baker’s Man…”

.

Mrs. Page looked really great. Henry hadn’t seen her since he and Charlotte broke up… not like this, anyway. He’d see her around Swellview sometimes and he usually dodged her, because she’d warned him before that if he hurt her daughter, she’d have to hurt his feelings… and Henry didn’t want her hurting his feelings. He’d seen her at the school before, at their job before, out in public when somebody did or said something to Charlotte… She was really good at hurting people’s feelings, and he was someone who had very sensitive feelings, whether or not he would say so… about certain things, at least. Last thing he needed was for her to drag him in the street and talk about stuff that Charlotte might have confided in her with and loud talk him into dying of embarrassment. 

So, any time that he noticed her in town, he hid and fled. He thought he was smooth with it until she opened the door of the house for them and said, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the front of Henry Hart’s face and not his backside as he tries to run away before I have the chance to read him for filth…” 

He turned red and laughed awkwardly. “It… Is… my face.”

“Hmm,” she said, unimpressed.

“Mama Page,” Jasper said. 

The woman squealed and threw her arms around Jasper and squeezed him very tightly, saying, “Son-in-Law! Now, you know that you can just say “Mama.” Mama Page sounds like one of those old ladies in reality TV and I’m not even trying to have my face on there, much less have a nickname out there, in the world.” She rubbed on his chest and asked in a low voice, “Why do you keep letting my daughter convince you to do crazy things? You know that she’s going through something right now.”

“I can hear you, Mom,” Charlotte said and looked at Henry. 

“Everybody come in,” her mother said. When they were inside, she asked Charlotte, “You still mad at me?”

“I needed you and you refused to help me, but you let Dad be here. I’m not mad at you, but that is what happened and I should be able to feel things about it, whatever those feelings are. Let’s not discuss it again, okay? That’s not what dinner is about tonight.”

Jasper’s parents, Henry’s parents and Charlotte’s dad all were already there. Everyone hugged Charlotte, but Henry only hugged his own parents and Jasper’s mom. Jasper didn’t hug anybody else. Mama Page was enough for him, but he did smile and nod to his parents. 

“The reason that my parents are here is more for solidarity with Henry and Charlotte than for this announcement, or for their support. Whenever Henry and I initially got together, my dad called me a “fruit” and my mom told me that a nice looking boy like Henry was probably just using me, that I needed to find an ugly boy with low self esteem, like she did… And she thought that was a nice thing to say… That it was helpful. So, even though she took care of me when I almost died, speaking to my folks about my relationships isn’t really... a thing I care to do.”

“So, should we all sit for dinner, then?” Mrs. Page asked and let everyone settle into their seats. She and Mr. Hart were seated next to each other, across from Mr. Page and Mrs. Hart. Jasper’s parents were seated next to each other, though he could tell that they weren’t getting along today, and he, Henry and Charlotte were seated across from them, with Charlotte in the middle. “I thought it was weird to arrange this dinner meeting. The last time these three families got together, I think you kids were in junior high.”

“No, we’ve gotten together since then,” Siren said.

“Not with the Dunlops,” Mrs. Page said, and her tone was short with the woman. 

Henry blinked and clapped his hands together once. “Well, we’re all here now, is what really matters. There are things that have been mended and we just would like to celebrate that with all of you.”

“What’s been mended?” Mrs. Page asked, but she was looking at Jasper, a little bit worried.

Henry spoke, since it was he who’d said the thing she was responding to. “Well, Charlotte, Jasper and I no longer have the same negative feelings towards each other that we had not too long ago. We’ve been able to come together and fix things.” He reached for one of each of their hands and leaned over Charlotte to make eye contact with her mother (who was on the other side of Jasper). “I’m making things right between the three of us. Atoning for things that I’ve done to them.”

“Hmm,” she said and glanced at Jake, then at her ex and Siren. “Well, that’s nice, right? Nice that our children are able to fix things, after all of the betrayal and the hurt. Very mature.” She stood and said, “I’m going to start fixing my plate. Jasper, there’s peas over there. I couldn’t bring myself to make fish sticks, so you’ll have to settle for my pan fried fillets, instead.”

“I love your pan fried fish, Mama P…” She threw him a look and he stopped himself from adding her last name. He looked at his mother and asked, “Can you pass the peas?”

Charlotte sang a little under her breath, “Pass the peas like we used to..” Her mom smiled at her and her dad chuckled. Henry felt left out of some kind of family joke, but invited it, because he knew that things were often awkward for her with the Pages these days. 

When everyone’s plate was full, Siren said, “So, Henry… You told me that you three have an important announcement. Was it the fact that you’ve gotten your friends back?”

He cleared his throat and said, “That’s the first part of it.” 

She smiled and waited. He started eating. “Well? What’s the next part?” Charlotte and Henry both looked at Jasper. Jasper had a mouth full of peas. Mrs. Page made THE BEST peas… 

“Well…” he said, finished chewing, swallowed, took a sip of his beer and nodded his head, “We’re in a relationship. The three of us.”

“Like… Swingers?” Siren asked.

“No, Mom. Not like swingers. We’re all in this relationship together.”

Mr. Page said, “Well, Charlotte and Jasper have been in a relationship for like a year or more, so what, are you like their boy unicorn or something?”

“No. I’m now also in a relationship with both of them. It’s a new relationship, not an add on to their relationship. It is called a polyamorous…”

“Why would you do this to yourself again?” Mrs. Page asked Charlotte. “You didn’t learn your lesson from the last time? Of all the people that you would want to play this new age House game with, you’d pick the one that had you running across the country to avoid his face?”

“That was a long time ago,” Siren said.

“I know! I had to visit my daughter out of town for many years. I know exactly how long it was. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, though. If it did, then I would be fine with what happened in 1999, New Year’s Eve. And, if you wanted to know, I am not fine with it.” Siren wiped her mouth, looked at Mr. Page, then back to the three and said, “Well, I support the three of you, like a mother should.”

Mrs. Page scoffed and laughed a little bit. Like a mother should be out there having so much sex around town that her husband had to eventually just start lying and saying that they were swingers, even though he had no idea she was even doing it FOR YEARS, with his dumbass…

“Mom…” Charlotte cut into her thoughts. “I know you and Mrs. Hart aren’t the best of friends, but tonight isn’t about her and Dad, or anything else.”

“It kind of is, Charlotte. Where do you think you’ve gotten this weird habit of never being able to decide who you want to be with? You got it from him. You knew as well as I did what he was like and you internalized that. You normalized it.”

“I. Am. Normal. I’m just not like you. Monogamy never made sense to me. Whenever you think about what you want in a partner, you think… one person might have it all? And if not, you think you should have to compromise away things that you expect or just be lonely while nobody meets your standards? If you do, that’s you and you’re normal too. We’re just different types of normal. You’re a normal monogamous person, and I am a normal other.”

Her mom smiled gently, “I remember whenever you asked me about what if you liked two boys for different things. I explained monogamy to you and I remember the look on your face, so vividly. I remember it because I wasn’t used to it. You were confused. It was weird to see. You were never easily confused and something that came as natural to me as air, your little genius brain couldn’t cimprehend it.” She sighed, “If you HAVE to do this, did you have to do this with… them? I love Jasper, you know that, but… I’ve been worried that he might leave you for another boy the entire time and you bring the worse boy to him and just serve him up.”

“It isn’t like that, Mrs. Page,” Jasper said, not calling her Mama this time. Not while she was being this way. “It’s like this. IF Mr. Page had come to you and said, I don’t think that I can be with one person. I think I’m meant to spread my love to others and you would have said, ‘Well, you do that right now and I tolerate it and act like I don’t see it, so I’m glad that you told me about it,” and you two remained involved and married and in love and he found whatever it was he was out there looking for and kept whatever he had with you and you, likewise, did the same, then someday, you both found something in the same person, and all three decided to share.”

“Horrible example,” she said. “I figured it was more like, Charlotte is very high maintenance and also likes to laugh. Henry’s rich and you’re funny.”

“Whatever it takes for you to approve,” Jasper said, chuckling.

She looked reluctant. “If… EITHER of you hurt her again, at all, I’m coming for you, and then I’m coming for your mothers, for good measure.”

Siren said, “We are sitting right here.”

“Good. That means that you know what will happen in the unfortunate event that your boys TRY me,” Mrs. Page said.

Mr. Dunlop rolled his eyes and and mumbled something. Nobody seemed to hear him but Jasper, probably because he was used to him being discretely insulting. Something about “Dumb as dogshit” and “Banging fruits and coloreds.” Jasper’s eyes welled with tears and he glanced around to see if anybody heard him. The Pages didn’t get up to beat the snot out of him, so he figured that they hadn’t. But he had. 

“Not the proper way to refer to people, Dad,” he said. 

Charlotte paused from spooning a huge chunk of baked vegan mac and cheese onto her plate and Henry covered his mouth and nose with both hands and said, “Please, let it go.”So Henry had heard.

“No. He owes both of you an apology. He can say whatever he wants about me, but nobody is going to insult either of you. Not while I’M around.”

“I apologize. I didn’t intend to be heard. Moreso talkin’ to m’self. And definitely talkin’ ‘bout YOU, not really them.”

“You’re a dick,” Jasper said and dropped his fork on the table, trying not to cry.

Charlotte got up and marched towards the older man, but her mother caught her wrist and said, “Maybe the two of you should go?” To the Dunlops.

“I’ll wait in the car. You keep eatin,’” Mr. Dunlop said. “I ain’t takin’ you out nowhere after this, so you better fill up.” He left and Jasper let angry tears fall. 

“He’s why I was never that good at picking a man…”

Charlotte came back over to him and said, “Hey… Let’s go talk to the stars about it, okay?” She rubbed his back and he nodded and got up. Henry and Charlotte made eye contact and somehow, he knew the look to mean that she’d take care of this, if he’d handle the parents. He was the therapist, after all and she was a woman. Jasper didn’t need his man right now.

“What’d that tumbleweed even say?” Mrs. Page asked. Everybody looked at Henry, who sighed and shook his head.

“He said, should’ve named him Dumb as Dogshit, gonna die of AIDS banging fruits and coloreds.” 

The Harts gasped, Mr. Page rolled his eyes, Mrs. Dunlop kept eating like nobody said anything, and Mrs. Page asked, “Do those troglodytes still believe those stereotypes?” She shook her head, “You’re a lot of things I don’t care for, but I know that you’re at least careful. I’ll bet that you’ve never had so much as an STI.”

“EVER!” Henry said, excited that for once, someone, even someone that kinda still hated him, realized that he would not just be transmitting things, willy nilly. “Thank you for realizing that.”

“Swellview DEFINITELY would’ve been talking by now had anybody ever contracted anything from you,” she said. “Mary Gaperman would’ve called me on threeway with Officer Walnut.”

“Was not aware that they were associates, nor that you were friends with both.”

“I work in public relations,” she said. Why had Henry thought that she was an assistant of some sort? “I always know everything about everybody, whether I want to, or not,” she threw Siren a look again. Siren rolled her eyes and bit a dinner roll aggressively. 

Jasper and Charlotte came back and he looked better. “You okay, my baby?” She asked.

Charlotte answered for him, “He just needed to tell his problems to the stars, look up at their glory and realize that all of our problems are just so small when the universe is as big as it is.”

Mrs. Page poured herself a glass of wine and asked Jasper, “Why do you keep on letting my daughter talk you into things?”

“She’s so wise,” Jasper said and winked at Charlotte. 

His mother got up and said, “Thank you for the meal. Jasper… Call me if… You get sad again.” He was going to ask her if he could just call her in general, but she rushed out, and probably was rushing right to a fight with his dad. He’d embarrassed her tonight. She would definitely give him lip about that, not like he cared.

“You’re never gonna be like them,” Charlotte said. “We’re never gonna be like them.”

“I know,” he said. “I’m very lucky… to have both of you. Neither of you are like either of them.”

[eremiss]

9. Hesitate

Gwen resisted the urge to tap her fingers on her journal, trying not to outwardly display that her mind was working overtime. Writing helped her vent and sort out her thoughts because it forced her to break nebulous clouds of ‘angry’ or ‘scared’ down into their baser parts, into questions she could answer and work through. Sometimes that resulted in names and labels changing altogether, hidden and mislabeled feelings unmasked and properly recognized.

It wasn’t a perfect solution and didn’t always enough to solve whatever problem was plaguing her, but at the very least it always helped settle her mind.

But that meant she had to do some mental work first, and find the bigger picture so she could properly take it apart.

That was proving difficult, a dozen things buzzing around and tying together in odd shapes that didn’t seem to fit the lump of thoughts rolling so unhelpfully around in her head.

Gwen glanced left as subtly as she could manage.

Thancred sat a little less than an arm’s length away, having not moved an ilm from where he’d earlier plopped himself down on the couch to read. He was engrossed in his book and hadn’t sent any more teasingly overt glances towards her journal for several minutes now. 

They hadn’t talked a great deal about the two of them, one of the things Gwen was having trouble sussing out a label for at the moment, since they’d first kissed after her second victory over Ifrit. Nor had they talked about the handful of stolen little moments, kisses, glances, closeness, that had been happening since.

They hadn’t said a word about it, rather falling into it as if it were natural. Gwen even found herself reciprocating without a thought, in her own way. It was all so… 

Different? 

Yes, different fit, but that didn’t really offer much. The correct word wasn’t necessarily the right one, strange as that sounded in her mind.

Easy? 

Hm. It was accurate, it was close, but it didn’t fit quite right.

Casual?

Gwen wrote the word out and stared at it, rereading it until it started to fall apart and lose its meaning.

Casual. It fit better than easy, but it still wasn’t quite right.

At a base level, nothing between them had changed. They were still friends, companions, Scions, and they were still able to easily and competently work together, directly and not. They could still have completely platonic and serious moments just as easily and comfortably as before.

The realization was a massive relief, suddenly untying the knots and tangles of worry about damaged friendship and a damaged relationship as Scions that had been constricting her thoughts in quieter moments.

After Valtemont, who’d rearranged facets and aspects of their relationship at even the slightest hint of moving forward, even when they’d been (or Gwen had been, at least) comfortable and content, it was an overwhelming relief.

Gwen scribbled that out, deciding ‘casual’ would suit until she found a better word. She knew what she meant by it, and that was all that mattered.

There were changes, of course. How could there not be? But they were smaller, personal ones. 

Gwen’s thoughts had started to be a bit fuzzy around the edges when he was around, a feeling of endearment that lingered even after the occasional misstep or bout of grumpiness or brooding. His jokes, bad or otherwise, and little smiles made her laugh more easily than they used to. More easily than they probably should. 

Thancred, from what she could tell, had most changed in how they spoke. He’d become more comfortable with silence, with seeking her out to simply be near, no conversation necessary, just like the silence they were sharing on the couch. He hadn’t become more open so much as he’d relaxed somewhat, candid and plain statements becoming more commonplace amongst the jibes, sarcasm and deflection he always used.

She was fairly certain he didn’t call anyone else ‘dove’. And perhaps he smiled a little wider, a little differently, at her, but that might have had more to do with that fuzziness in her head. 

Touch and affection were still a stumbling block, though she was doggedly working to correct that. Closeness didn’t mean an immediate abolishment of boundaries, nor did it mean people would be comfortable with things they hadn’t been before.

Gwen thought that would be obvious enough, but Aldous and Valtemont had balked at the idea.

Thancred was much more aware of her boundaries than she was of his, though at some points she wondered if he even had any...beyond a few topics of conversation he refused to touch. Still, though, not being aware of a boundary didn’t mean it wasn’t there.

Gwen still considered it a big deal to simply let her fingers touch Thancred’s when they sat near one another, though she knew for him that was barely anything. Even so he’d do something to express his appreciation for the effort, a little smile or a brief nudge.

Thancred, for his part, displayed patience and restraint that she hadn’t expected given some of his other...habits. He leaned on her boundaries rather than bulling through them, easing just into her personal space when they talked or tapping her hand to gain her attention, little nudges that were easy to retract and rectify if it they pushed too hard.

Sitting on the couch as they were, just barely an arm’s width apart, was another little test. He’d acted casual as ever, expression easy and unconcerned, but he’d caught her eye and asked a question with a glance just before he sat.

And that had been another massive relief, lifting an invisible weight from her shoulders. 

Gwen shook her head, clearing away the rosiness turning her thoughts fuzzy, and scribbled some of that out. 

Different. Yes.

Easy...Yes, that too.

Casual. Absolutely.

Comfortable?

Gwen nearly started tapping her fingers again, stumbling over the word. She glanced at Thancred again as he turned a page, unaware of her constantly-moving thoughts.

In a strange sort of way, maybe...Yes. Comfortable. The sort of comfortable that grew and changed over time, ill-fitting for a moment before settling in again, larger than before and yet still as it had been

Gwen wrote more, not entirely sure the words made sense. She was more concerned with getting them out and written than them being sensible, that part could come later when she reread and rewrote them. 

They should talk, she knew, to know where they stood or at least make sure they were on the same page. She needed to know what page she was on first, though.

Gwen debated for a moment, easing her journal shut and worrying her lip as she considered that. What page was she on, anyway? 

One that still involved her hesitating to touch his hand or bump shoulders, at least.

The realization made her frown.

Change took time. And sometimes it happened slowly. There was nothing wrong with that, yet she found herself suddenly chaffing at the thought. She wanted to be more comfortable with closeness and touch, it was something she’d been grappling with since shortly after she became a Scion, when living and working with others had really put into perspective how... isolated she was, mostly of her own design. Yet she really hadn’t put in any work to make that change, had she...

Well, she could always start? 

Gwen glanced around, finding their little corner of the library empty. “Thancred.”

He looked up from his book “Hm?”

“Could I…?” Gwen gestured vaguely towards him, unsure how to ask and belatedly embarrassed that she had even decided to ask. 

He blinked slowly, unable to fill in the words she hadn’t said. “‘Could you’...?”

She hesitated, twisting her pen. She felt even sillier for asking, and for entertaining the idea at all, and-- “Could I move closer?”

Something genuine flitted across his face that looked a great deal like surprise. And then his mouth curved into a smile, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Of course, dove.” He lifted his arm to drape it along the back of the couch and gestured her closer with a nod, “You needn’t even ask.”

“Asking is polite,” Gwen replied simply, pretending her heart wasn’t pounding and her mind wasn’t suddenly awash with uncertainty. 

‘How close’ was the biggest question buzzing around in her head as she stiffly collected her journal and pen and shifted over a few ilms.

“Not worried I’ll read over your shoulder?” Thancred teased. 

Gwen faltered for a moment, then mustered her obstiance and shifted closer. She was done writing, that was why she had even suggested moving closer, and it wasn’t like her handwriting was legible anyway. “That would only be a problem if I was going to keep writing.” She eyed him meaningfully, “Which I’m not.”

“I’m honored you have such faith in me,” Thancred replied sarcastically. 

When Gwen finally settled again she was well within his personal space and vise versa, her leg a few ilms from his. She tried to breath more calmly and loosen the rigid set of her back, the little thread of wit fading under a new whirl of uncertainty.

Was she too close? Was this too much?

Thancred hummed thoughtfully, and maybe approvingly, beside her and looked back down at his book. Gwen had expected him to say something, to make some sort of comment, but at the same time she was grateful that he wasn’t making a big deal of it. 

It would be easier for her to make herself relax if she could at least pretend as though this were normal. Normal was easy to learn, easy to emulate. 

Perhaps this could be a new normal, though hopefully with a little less uncertainty and overthinking involved.

------------------------

Hnnnnnggg I wrote it and haven’t really edited it and we’re not allowed to edit it later and it’s kind of killing me.

I realized I haven’t written a lot about Gwen’s transition from ‘please no touch, how does touch even work’ to ‘am going to hug you now’, so I thought I’d write a little about it.

Threw in the names of Gwen’s two prior boyfriends/lovers. I might write some more about them at some point.