#when they are capable of understanding them

[distantreverbs]

Tonight's episode really highlighted how Buck and Eddie actually have a very conditional and somewhat one-sided friendship, something that deeply contrasts the romantic relationship between Buck and Tommy. Because despite the latter couples woes, they have shown time and time again the unconditional and pure love they are capable of sharing together, which will only be amplified once they work through their current shortcomings as a couple.

Buck and Eddie;

While Evan Buckley has so often offered Eddie — and many others, to be clear — his unconditional love and support, he has also embarked on an endless journey of self-reflection. He may not be perfect and he has no doubt made some pretty significant mistakes throughout the show, but what he is is someone who is capable of looking inward, learning, and doing his best to improve, even if the process is sometimes messy or slow and too little too late. No, Buck isn't perfect, but by god, he's continuously evolving and maturing.

(I'm sorry, but Evan Buckley is very much not the one who has been stuck on the hamster wheel like so many in fandom love to claim. That lovely "honor" would actually go to Eddie Diaz.)

Buck also has a lot of love in his heart, to the point where it sometimes overwhelms and leads him astray. But even so, his intentions are almost always pure and connected to the important people in his life. In summation, his heart and the love cast from it is extremely unconditional and wrapped within a casing of overwhelming loyalty and selflessness, some missteps aside.

Eddie Diaz, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. He'll love Buck — and other people, to be clear — but with a condition, one that is so often unspoken, but always lurking beneath the surface. With Eddie and conflict — be it his own or belonging to others simply seeking his guidance and support — there always seems to be this line drawn in the sand, a line representing what Eddie is and is not willing to put up with. And once you cross that line, he'll have very little patience or consideration for you and your feelings. It will show through not just overt or passive aggression, but also unapologetic projection.

The way he came at Buck in tonight's episode is a glaring representation of this:

It's easier for Eddie Diaz to look at everything as black and white, especially when it's convenient for his narrative, than it is to partake in self-reflection pertaining to his personal grief and struggles. It's easier to put the blame on his best friend, rather than acknowledge how he is not processing his own grief very well at all. It is easier to accuse his best friend, who is clearly hurting and crying out for help, that he's being selfish, than to make any attempt at taking on the pain of others while also grappling with his own. It is easier for him to fly his son back to LA to distract his best friend, than it is to take any semblance of accountability for his recent actions and actually fucking apologize. (Hoping this ages poorly because he apologizes in the finale.) It is so much easier to accuse his best friend of making everything about himself, than to acknowledge that, in this moment, he's actually the one doing so. It is easier for Eddie to grab Buck, corner him, and generally physically intimidate him, than it is to actually hear Buck out and understand his reasoning and perspective. Because... God forbid, he has his often black and white ideologies — and the emotions rooted in them — challenged. It's easier for Eddie Diaz to keep repeating the same mistakes in his life, than it is to actually work on his issues and truly evolve, even if those mistakes trickle down to the people around him, including his own son.

In summation, if Buck and Eddie were actually canonically together, I would be praying that the writers were setting up a season finale breakup, so that Buck can move on with his life and find someone who won't minimize his feelings to highlight their own, all while using physical aggression to intimidate and shut him down, or use their son to manipulate him into forgetting about what happened. Because whether the writers intend to follow up on this or not, or do or do not recognize the severity of Eddie's actions, I know what bullshit I witnessed unfold on my screen tonight.

Buck and Tommy;

I'll just be blunt here because this post is already in danger of getting too long...

Tommy Kinard would never pull the type of shit Eddie Diaz just did. Tommy may have some issues of his own that he needs to address — including his own tendency to project onto others, in addition to running away versus talking shit out. But had he been the one with Buck tonight, he would have never minimized the pain Buck was experiencing just to elevate his own, nor would he have grabbed and cornered Buck to maximize the severity of his pain and anger.

At "worst", Tommy would have gently reminded Buck to remember that people are grieving in their own way, similar to how Maddie handled Chimney, or Karen handled Athena, in the very same episode. And he would have done so, all while still considering and prioritizing Buck's feelings. And at best, Tommy would have asked Buck how he could best be there for him, because that's the type of person Tommy is. And to give Buck his own credit, he would have apologized if Tommy expressed needing more support and consideration, and then followed through after said apology. And Tommy would have been completely receptive of this and worked with Buck to ensure that both of them received the emotional support and consideration they both need. Because, ultimately, they are both mature and emotionally loving and supportive individuals — again, some missteps aside. While Eddie Diaz, sorry — but not sorry — has shown he just isn't. Not yet, at least. Buck and Tommy have shown they're capable of being a true partnership in all the ways that matter, while Eddie has made his friendship with Buck incredibly one-sided.

(Man, Buck. I am honestly proud of the man you've evolved into. You've come a long way, despite some in this fandom pretending you haven't and gleefully waiting for you to crash and burn more than your loved ones and other colleagues whenever a challenging situation occurs.)

While Eddie is quick to make Buck feel like he and his problems are "too much" to take on, Tommy would be mortified if he ever did the same, much less more than once.

I'm so glad Buck will have Tommy back in his corner soon, whether it be in the finale or sometime during 9A, because Tommy is the person Buck so clearly needs in his life right now. Buck needs someone who is going to reciprocate everything he is so eager to offer, and Tommy so clearly needs and is willing to do the same.

[fruitiesss]

bob reynolds !! sfw alphabet

let me know if ur interested in an nsfw alphabet! enjoy <3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

bob comes across as very shy and closed off with newer people, but with his friends he's very touchy and sweet. he wants the people he cares about to understand how much he cares about them with hugs and gifts and acts of service. he needs the reassurance so he assumes everybody else does.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

kind of like how the thunderbolts took one look at this sad wet cat and decided 'that's mine now', he kind of has that affect on everybody. he trusts you a lot.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

he would cuddle with an s/o or a best friend. bob loves the contact, it grounds him and makes him feel human so best believe he's all about cuddles when he's comfortable enough with you. He likes to spoon the most, he doesn't mind being the big spoon but he prefers little.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

as i've said before, bob can't cook great. he makes decent sandwiches thanks to his horrible upbringing but he's used to survival foods since he spent most of his time high or backpacking and homeless. he's hesitant to have kids though he does want one or two if you're interested.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he would hate himself for it, but it would take a LOT for him to even consider it. like a lot. he wouldn't end it over text, he'd want to treat you first with dinner and maybe let you down easily, staying friends if it wasn't an absolutely horrible thing.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

you're gonna have to propose. he's a nervous wreck, scared of committing in case he messes it up. he has a lot of past trauma and baggage that he doesn't want to put on anyone, despite you telling him it's okay. once you're over the first part of your relationship and he's comfortable with casual affection, he'd 100% want to get married.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

he's very gentle. like you're fine china gentle. after he voided out and learned what he was capable of, he was scared of himself for so long and would hate himself if he was even a little rough with you. emotionally, too, he's very hesitant to share his feelings and emotions, he's very much a push over and easily manipulated.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

when the thunderbolts defeat the void with the power of friendship. send post. yes, he likes hugs. yes, he initiates them often and he is very soft and warm, he runs hot.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

he says it platonically, so he's fast to say it with his partner. his friends are very close to him and he truly does love them all.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

bob doesn't get jealous, he just gets really sad. he needs the reassurance. if you're touchy with a stranger, he's stuck in his head and thinking that he's not doing good enough for you, or he doesn't satisfy you enough.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

he loves forehead kisses but regular chaste kisses on the lips are great too, makes him flustered when you pepper them all over his face. he wasn't so experienced when he kissed you at first since he's never had time for anything romantically charged, but he gets it quickly!

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

he likes children, he's good with them, but they make him uncomfortable when he's babysitting or have to be around them a lot. he hates children in restaurants.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

mornings are slow. he gets out of bed late, slips out quietly and reads a book with a mug of tea. very calm, very nice.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

nights are also slow, very relaxed and sweet. he likes to cuddle in bed and is very touchy when he's tired, his hands glued to your hips or waist. the physical contact helps him feel like everything is real.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

he does it very slowly and needs to be prompted. he works through things with his therapist, helping him with his memory issues. those would be a big hurdle in getting to know much about him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

he gets angry and sad at the same time. like the shaking with tears. if he's being annoyed nonstop he will cry, but if something's happening to his friends and he can't do anything about it. boom. void.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he tries his best, bless him, he's not the best with remembering things. he knows your full name, birthday, but that's pretty much it. unless there's something big about you that's similar to him, he's already forgetting it.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

he loves the little things but his absolute favourite moment is when he was trying to bake cupcakes for you because you told him you liked them, and absolutely making a mess of the kitchen. you caught him in the act and helped him clean up the mess. the look on your face when he told you he's done this for you is burned into his retinas. he loves your smile.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

bob's protective in his own way. he's always got his eyes on you whenever he's concerned or worried, and if you're out of sight he'll text every 30 minutes or so to check up on you. he's not too bothered with being protected, he knows he's safe and he wouldn't purposefully put himself in danger again.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he sets reminders on his calendar for things like these, and yes he absolutely goes all out. he likes to be romantic. he wants to give you everything he's got. it's really sweet. everyday tasks are really all he has, so yes he goes above and beyond for these too.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

he picks and bites his nails. it's a habit he's had since he was small and he has no interest in trying to stop, so his nails are always short. he also still gets withdrawals from meth so he scratches at his arms or tugs on his hair when he's feeling them and hides it from you because he's ashamed.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he's not too concerned. he's looked much much worse than he ever will again so he's just happy to be healthy again.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes. once you're in a relationship with him you are a part of him. his arms feel empty when you're not there and his heart aches when he's not with you. he's clingy and it's sweet.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

he's very specific with his hair. he likes it cut a certain way and he doesn't like getting it dyed (he only did it because valentina really wanted him to).

he loves fidget toys.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

drugs, alcohol, anything with an addictive nature. it scares him. otherwise he can adapt, he's happy to take what he can get, and he loves you too much for something to get in the way of it.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

he doesn't sleep much. a lot of the time he lays awake and still, it's quite creepy when you wake up and he's just staring at you wide-eyed. he sleeps more when the sun's out than when it's dark because he doesn't feel safe when it's dark.

[eden031]

First meetings

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

MDNI! 18+ Content ahead

Pairing: Jack Abbot x intern!f!reader

Warnings: smut, p in v sex, oral (f recieving), soft sex, love making (?), protected sex, badly written smut, love confessions, sappy,crying after sex (bothJack and reader)

Summary: They go on their planned date.

Again: MDNI! 18+ Content ahead

A/N: Hey everyone! So first of all I have to point out that this is my first time writing smut so please be forgiving, another thing is this it not proof read because I think I might delete this if I proof read this. This was planned to be the last chapter of ‚First meetings‘ but I have decided that after this I will be writing an epilouge (time skip) to take a quiet peek in what happened to Jack and reader afterwards. I hope you enjoy even though this is probably not my best work.

The news had spread like wildfire, well except towards the admin staff. It was like everyone was talking about it and yet no one dared to mention it towards either of them. People gave her knowing glances when she walked through the halls, no one seemed to judge them, though there seemed to be questions, questions that neither her nor Jack would answer or even knew the real question to. Still it was obvious that there were some people that seemed to be confused about the whole dynamic. Since the beginning of the week, since the confession he was harder on her than he had been before. Not rude, not brutally so, but he pushed her harder, made her work on perfection. She wasn’t mad at him, he didn’t do it to give her a hard time, no he did it because he cared, he did it so that no one could accuse him of playing favorites. Something she really understood, something she knew he needed to prove to people.

The week had dragged on like gum stuck to the soles of your shoes. Not because of the work she had to put in, no that had made her realise of what she was even capable of, made her understand that sometimes doubt was her worst enemy and that when he pushed her he overcame that doubt for her in some strange way. He had already done that before, though now it felt like he had stopped holding back. Maybe she had also just gained confidence she needed from the fact that she knew someone had her back. No, the week had dragged on because of the date she was meant to go on. It felt like it was never going to be Saturday night, though on Saturday morning seven thirty felt like it was ages away.

Sitting in front of the mirror she had tried to calm her nerves, already ready she checked the clock again, it had been seven fifteen. Trying to keep her nerves at bay she fiddled with the hem of the dress she was wearing.It was mid length, showing off everything she wanted to show off, though the most important thing about this dress was that it made her feel pretty, made her feel gorgeous even, confident. Masie and Tommy had been angels the entire day, helping her out with picking the dress, as well as the jewelry and other accessories. Masie was a lot more excited about the whole endeavour than Tommy.

It had felt kind of weird to give Jack the address of the apartment she shared with Masie and Tommy, telling him that she was able to get to the restaurant on her own, but he had insisted on picking her up. Jack had shown up at seven twenty five, holding a bouquet of white lilies. It was beautiful and she had put in a vase on her nightstand, offering him to come in, though he had politely declined.

The place he had taken her to was nice, a mexican place, the owner an old friend of his. The food had been some of the best she had ever eaten and the company had been almost as good. They had spoken softly with each other, their voices always slightly hushed, their hands brushing together. It was like someone had cast a spell on them, like they were in their own little world while they ate. Time flew by and it got late when they walked out of the restaurant, their fingers intertwined, the blazer jacket Jack had been wearing draped over her shoulders after she had shivered slightly when the cool air had hit her skin. His smell swirling around her like some kind of promise.

As they stood in front of his truck Jack gently cupped her face, his thumb brushing her cheek, the skin of the pad of his thumb rough against her flesh. Leaning into his touch she let out a soft sigh of content, the cool air whirling around them. Jack gently coaxed her towards him, so that she would look at him. His second hand also went to her face, gently squeezing her cheeks as she smiled at him.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he whispered softly as he leaned in closely, their lips brushing once again. He pressed his lips against hers, slowly moving them, she joined in his rhythm, his tongue slipping between her lips. Her hands had found their way into his shirt, clutching the dark fabric at his sides, trying to pull him closer. As they broke apart it felt like she was fighting for every breath, wanting to kiss him again was an overwhelming urge in her mind. The feeling of him pressed against her, even with their foreheads simply resting against each other, their breath mingling together as they kissed again, this time quicker, but a few kisses in succession. The stubble on his face tickled her slightly.

“You know…” she paused softly, trying to speak as quietly as possible, “That suit looks really good on you, but I think it would look a lot better on your bedroom floor,” as she finished speaking, she pressed a soft kiss to his throat. He tutted softly as he pulled her back slightly, a soft glimmer in those beautiful hazel eyes.

“You are going into dangerous territory there, sweetheart,” his voice was slightly gravelly as he looked down at her, his pupils blown wide. A slight tingle settled in her lower stomach as she smiled coyly at him, batting her lashes as innocently as possible.

“Am I?” she tried to sound as innocent as possible while blinking slowly at him, eyes wide. A small smile on her lips as she saw his jaw clench.

“Yeah, how about we go back to my place?” he suggested, trying to keep his composure. Like it wasn’t what both of them had been planning for. Nodding softly she grabbed his hand, gently squeezing it. Jack opened the door to the passenger seat with his other hand, letting her get in the car before he closed the door and rounded the truck before plopping into the driver’s seat. The ride back to his place was filled with playful banter and soft laughter.

The moment Jack had parked the car and they were in the elevator to his place their lips met again, moving in a familiar rhythm, his hands holding her waist tightly as he pulled her close. Jack’s lips found her neck, coaxing her head into her neck he pressed hot, open mouthed kisses to the column of her throat. A soft gasp escaped her lips as he sank his teeth into the soft skin where her throat met her shoulder. Pressing into him she closed her eyes, sighing as he carefully pressed a gentle kiss to the spot.

A soft bing and the elevator halted. Jack moved, though her mind stalled for a moment, he had taken her hand in his, urging her to move. Opening her eyes she followed him out of the elevator, the heat in her stomach and the tingling between her legs almost consuming everything as she followed him through the hallway.

It was like the hallway grew longer with every step she took, his hand in hers like a burning reminder of his presence. His smell clouded her mind as he stopped in front of his door, the sound of the key turning, the lock clicking, it was all just on the edge of reality. A quiet squeaking from the hinges of the door was the only indicator of Jack pushing open the door. Quickly they moved inside, Jack dragging her along, carefully closing the door behind them he was on her again.

He backed her against it, his hot ips on her jack, carefully biting, kissing, moving up towards her mouth. Their lips met again, moving together, her hands travelled up his torso, gently stroking his belly as she let out small whimpers. One warm hand had wrapped itself around her waist, gently keeping her put, pressed up against the door, the other had found its way into her hair, gently tugging on it while they kissed. Moving her hips slightly she tried to grind down on him, her arousal growing with every passing second.

“Jack,” she whispered softly as they drew apart, the hand that had been on her waist now hovering above her breast, the tips of his fingers ghosting over the still covered flesh, not quite touching yet.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” his voice was slightly strained, she tried to move her head forward, but the grip on her hair was too tight for that, though it did not hurt. Moving her hips against his she felt the bulge in his pants, grinding down on him as best as she could.

“Ah, ah, sweetheart,” he whispered softly, gently pressing another kiss to the column of her throat, “What do you want?”

“Please!” she whimpered softly, trying to get more friction from him. Arching her back against his hand she hummed softly as she looked at him.

“You have to tell me what you want, darling,” Jack hummed softly as his hand slowly travelled from her hair towards her jaw, cupping it, pressing a thumb against her jaw.

“Please, Jack, please touch me,” she whispered softly, the slickness between her legs warm and aching. Her hands slowly went upwards gently brushing over the fabric of the shirt he was wearing.

Suddenly Jack grabbed her, a squeak escaped her as her feet left the ground, throwing her over his shoulder she had to laugh involuntarily letting herself be carried to where she knew the bedroom was.

As the door fell shut behind Jack and the light clicked on she was gently placed on the bed, laying on the edge with her feet dangling off the mattress. Toeing off her shoes she watched as Jack tossed the blazer she had previously worn onto the chair in the corner of the room. A small smile on his lips as he looked at her, those hazel eyes burning with something she could only describe as hunger locked on to her.

Slowly she sat up from the bed, opening the zipper on the side, then letting the dress pool around her waist, blinking slowly at Jack as he seemed to have frozen in his movements as the black lace bra she had opted for became visible.

“Damn,” he whispered softly, stepping towards her his hand hovering above her breast, fingers twitching like he was fighting with himself not to touch her.

“Please,” she whined softly, puffing out her chest slightly, the soft flesh brushing against his fingers. Carefully he cupped her breast, giving it a gentle squeeze as his other hand went into her hair again, pulling her upwards slightly. Hot lips pressing against hers again, moving in a slow and deliberate rhythm as he slowly brushed his fingers against her breast. Trying not to break the connection she shimmied out of the dress, letting it fall to the ground beside the bed. A soft whine came from her Jack’s lips left her, the whine turning into soft moans as he began to suckle and bite into the soft flesh of her neck. Gently nibbling on some spots. Reaching out her fingers brushed against his bulge, carefully palming him through the dress pants. Low groans and moans came from Jack, his hips bucking into her hand as he continued his assault on her neck. She was sure that there would be marks of his little adventure in the morning.

A gasp left her lips as she felt a finger brushing against her slit. Jack hummed against her neck as he repeated the motion, slowly stroking his fingers from her entrance to her clit.

“So wet for me,” he whispered in her ear as she bucked against his fingers, trying to get more from him.

Slowly the hand which had been on her breast moved to her back, unclasping the bra with ease. Carefully he pulled off the bra, discarding it on the ground, pushing her back on the bed, latching onto her nipple, swirling his tongue around it. Soft gasps and moans came from her as she arched into him, his legs settled beside her hips, keeping her in place.

She clawed at the shirt he was still wearing, the pulsing between her legs getting worse as she whined and writhed. Slowly Jack moved away from her breast, his hands ghosting down her sides as he pressed hot, open mouthed kisses on her ribcage and stomach. Gently nibbling at the skin from time to time until he reached the panties that had matched the bra. Slowly he pulled it off her hips, discarding it somewhere.

“Come on pretty girl,” he gently coaxed her, her thighs falling open. In one smooth motion he knelt at the edge of the bed. His head between her thighs as a cool gust of wind hit her she let out an involuntary whimper, the bastard had blown air at her core. Writhing slightly she tried to reach for his head.

“Shsh,” he gently brushed away her hand. He started at her knee, pressing gentle kisses to it, then travelled up her thigh, stopping at the junction between her hip and leg, the moment she thought she might finally get the sweet relief of his lips on her he drew back again. A whine escaped her as she looked at him.

“Please, Jack,” she whined softly, trying to get him to speed things up a bit. A chuckle and a shake of the head later he repeated the process on the other leg, then finally his mouth met her core. His lips pressed soft kisses along her slit before he licked a long, slow stripe from her hole to her clit. It was like something inside of him snapped after that. He ate her out like a man starved, like he had not eaten in years and she was the first thing he saw.

“So wet for me,” he hummed softly against her, the vibration sending shivers down her spine. With every lick, every movement the tightness in her stomach got worse, the tingling spreading to her legs, which were beginning to shake slightly. As he slipped in one finger a mewl left her lips grinding down on his mouth and hand she tried to get him to move more. Soft pants leaving her lips as he moved his finger inside of her, finding the spongy spot that made her see stars every time he hit it. Soon a second finger was added and the coil in her stomach became too much to bear.

“Come on, sweetheart, I know you can do it,” he encouraged softly. That made her snap, she felt herself fluttering around him, her visions going blank for a moment before she came back to reality, breathing heavily she looked at Jack. His mouth glistened softly, licking his lips and fingers like he was savouring every single drop she had given him.

“You taste so damn good,” he groaned softly as he looked at her, still dressed in the shirt and suit pants he had been wearing during dinner, hair dishevelled, more so than usually. A soft groan left her lips, the shaking in her legs not quite gone yet.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” she muttered into the blanket as she turned her head to the side, feeling her face get hot from the sight of Jack kneeling between her legs. A soft chuckle came from him as she heard movement as she looked at him, his eyes glistening softly in the light of the room.

“You doing okay?” his voice low. She knew that there was more to the question than just asking if she was okay, he was asking if she was okay to keep going.

“I am doing fucking fantastic,” she grinned at him, she paused for a moment, “Though I think I would be doing a lot better if would get rid of that suit,” she hummed.

“With pleasure,” Jack hummed softly. It was slow, but he rid himself of the shirt, revealing the toned pecs and soft belly, something she loved so much about him, the well trained shoulders moved as he opened the belt of the pants, then sat down on the edge of the bed, cursing quietly as he took off the leg, then shimmied out of the rest of the pants. He glanced over his shoulder, giving her a silent command with his stare. Scooting up the bed she placed herself against the headboard, the pulsing and need getting more again, like they hadn’t ebbed away a bit a few moments ago.

Slowly Jack crawled up the bed, the black boxers doing little to conceal his straining cock as he hovered over her. Carefully lowering his head, their lips met again, moving together, she could taste herself on his lips, drawing a soft moan from her. She could feel him moving then a kick, slowly reaching towards his cock she felt the soft skin of him, gently running her fingers from the tip to the base. A low moan came from Jack as he thrust into her touch. Drawing away Jack looked at her, moving away he sat on his knees moving slightly to grab a condom from the nightstand, quickly opening it and putting it on before he came back down to her their lips meeting again, hot and slow, their mouths moved. As he drew away again his held her gaze, slowly moving to push into her, the stretch was delicious a quiet moan escaped her.

As he started moving slowly it was strange for a moment. This was different from the first night they had spent together, not bad, but there was no urgency, there was something else behind his slow thrusts, her arms wrapped around his neck, keeping him close to her. It was like they were both trying to melt together, like they were trying to become one single entity. His movement never faltered, he kept the same pace, one hand finding her clit, gently drawing circles, she wasn’t sure how long they kept going, both her and Jack whispering soft encouragement, soft praise, then Jack’s movements began to stutter.

“I’m gonna cum soon,” he muttered softly, she moaned softly as she nodded, the tightness in her lower stomach close to snapping.

“Yeah, me too,” she whispered softly, pressing a kiss to his lips as she felt him press himself farther into her than before, hips twitching as he came, his hands did not still and soon she followed him over the edge. It was intense, everything around her became blurry, the smell of their bodies suddenly became more intense than it had been before, the feeling of their skin pressed together the only thing she could feel. She was not sure how much time had passed, but she could feel hot tears running down her cheeks, Jack had buried his head in the crook of her neck, his body resting on hers, his arms pressed up against her ribcage. Her arms still wrapped around his neck, gently she threaded her hands through his hair, the tears still running down her cheeks.

“I think I love you,” she whispered, her voice rough, a soft sniffle from her, she felt hot liquid hitting her neck, a gentle kiss to where her pulse point was, though she received no words, she did not need them, knowing that this was his way of telling her that he did too.

—————

Tags: @antisocialfiore @fudosl @smileykiddie08 @darksparklesficrecs @tommosgirl06 @rosieposie88 @moonshooter @wowitsafemale @qardasngan @starlightmoon2020 @loonyloomis

[kabr0ztrousers]

Hi!! I absolutely love your writings!!

I have an idea for a fic if you’d be interested/willing?

I was wondering if you’d be willing to do a Male Naga x Female Naga reader breeding smut fic?

Where the reader is coming into season and she’s very fussy about the male she wants and after rejecting some young males a really large dark scale colour male with scars from territorial fights/battles/hunts and maybe a missing eye? (Maybe he’s also older than her 👀) Shows interest in her and starts trying to court her (by bringing things that the reader shows interest in or needs like books or flowers or crystals and he hunts for her)

And after a few weeks of this courting (the male is very patient and gentlemanly with the reader) the reader decides that she likes this male and they breed (smut would be nice but I totally understand if it’s hard to write or you don’t feel comfortable! Fluff is good as well)

And maybe a little bit on how the reader might move a bit slower or her tail is wider due to the eggs in her before she lays them? And then how the male becomes more territorial/possessive of the reader/the eggs/the readers territory (maybe the male hisses/lunges at literally everything that comes too close to what’s his)

But please if you don’t feel comfortable writing this or if it’s too long or anything feel free to ignore this!!!

I hope you have a lovely day and keep up all the good work! But don’t forget to take breaks and take care of yourself!!

Kabr0z Writes episode 121: Battle-scarred

Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!

Kabr0z Writes is on Ao3!

CWs: age gap; impregnation;

A/N: Back to requests! There's a lot in the queue, and more requests coming in, so if you have an idea, please please please get it in sooner rather than later!

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You opened your book and lit a stick of incense, breathing in the citrus-scented smoke. You'd chased the last one off with a simple lightning charm, smoke and mirrors really, but more than enough to put the frighteners on a pair of youngsters who didn't understand how far out of their league they were trying to court. Yes, it was that time of the year, but you weren't in a hurry to lay a brood, and you certainly weren't going to mate with the first bright-scaled Naga who came along. You're a Hermetic of significant skill and talent, mistress of force projection, capable of bending the fabric of the world to your whim.

Not a cheap whore.

A crystal lit up in the corner of your vision. The proximity triggers. Another kid getting too close to your wards. You sighed and tapped your eyelids, casting your sight to the hidden gate of your tower where the ward had tripped. That's when you saw him.

Big, covered in deep emerald scales that spoke of age and experience. What wasn't scale was scars, criss-crossed and jagged, one particularly vicious one raking over his blinded right eye. He was carrying something. He set it down by the gate, turned, and left.

Weird.

You focused a second, co-locating the parcel to you, then allowing it to slip through the gaps in reality, materialising fully on your lap. A crystal, of not insignificant size. You'll definitely find a use for this. For now though, it goes on the shelf, and you go back to your book.

The next day, he was back. This time, he left a parcel of smoked meat. The day after it was a parcel of scrolls, after that a verbena's book of shadows. You have no idea how he got hold of one of those.

A week passed, every day he'd leave a gift, an offering of greater or lesser value, but always delivered with reverence. One day the familiar chime warned you of an intruder on your grounds, your gift-giver. You touched a glyph and dispelled the glamour on the gate, letting it swing open for him. He paused, then stepped in under your watchful eye.

You guided him through your garden, towards the base of your tower where you met him at last, face to scaled face.

He looked at you, head tilted down to meet your gaze, saying nothing.

"So, we finally meet" you spoke first. It broke the mystique a little, but you weren't just going to stand there and have a staring contest

"We do" He sounded like he looked, broad, deep, and old

You paused a moment before speaking again "You left gifts. Why?"

He regarded you, blinking slowly, gathering himself "I had heard stories. They say a goddess lives here"

You blushed a little. A goddess? That's a new one on you. You'd heard witch, demon, you'd burned the tongue out of the last man to call you a snake, but you'd never been called a goddess.

"Are you her, the one who accepted my gifts?

You smiled, "I am. Now what would you do, having met your goddess?"

He took your hands in his. His large, calloused fingers closing around yours as he stared into you

"Worship"

He lifted you up with his heavily muscled arms, carrying you to a grassy clearing and laying you down.

You watched him as he slowly disrobed you, carefully pulling off the fine silks and setting them reverently aside. His skin against yours made you feel dizzy, your breath shallowing as the cool air caressed you. His clothes were a lot easier to get him out of: a simple tunic and a brown linen kilt to cover his lower quarters, the long snakish tail protruding from the bottom. It all went together with buckles, a few deft clips and he was as nude as you.

He was panting. Your breath was shallow and fast. You ran your hands over his scarred body, feeling the lines of battles hard-won scribed across his torso, following them with your gaze. A finger pushed your jaw upwards, closing your mouth and bringing your gaze to his. Your hand reached down, feeling the thick cock that was slipping from his lower abdomen, feeling yourself grow warmer, anticipating him. You rolled him over, taking your place on top of the wide serpent-man whom you had chosen. Your slit pressed against his length for a moment, before accepting it.

Your hips rolled over him, your body working as his hands still crept over your form. You couldn't help but gasp as he hit the best parts in you, making you squirm and moan. He held your waist, guiding you over him, lifting his hips to help you grind him against your back walls, hissing with delight as his tapered tip tickled your cervix. You felt him swelling within you, holding you down to him as you brushed his chest with your fingertips. You felt warmth start to flow from him as he gasped, filling you with seed. Your body responded, squeezing and pulsing, drawing him into you as you wrapped your tails around one another, holding chest to chest, kissing deeply as he fertilised you.

You relaxed into him, feeling him as you wound back down in one another's arms, listening to the rhythm of his heart before you looked back up at him

"So... Tea?"

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This one was tricky to get right, and I'm still not the happiest, just needed to get something out!

Thus perfect must stop being the enemy of good, and we get another published episode for the series.

[blissfullybuddie]

I don’t understand how people are so upset about the kitchen scene and are angry with Eddie. Like did we not all watch the same thing? It was an amazing scene, the shaking camera, the lightening, the fucking tension?! Buck coming in, pissed that Eddie hadn’t told him about the job in El Paso, and stomping around the kitchen. Obviously Eddie knows something is wrong, he knows Buck is already hurting enough. Not to mention, Eddie is at a crossroads. He doesn’t want to leave Buck or the 118 behind again, and him flying Christopher out was just another sign of that. He wants them all to be together again, everyone is grieving the changes and upset. Buck is lost right now, and the fear that Eddie is leaving again and that he has no idea when they’ll be together next is enough to push him over the edge. Him getting the groceries even though Eddie said he would… He doesn’t want to get used to relying on Eddie, he wants to prove he is capable of being alone because he’s always forced to be, he makes a statement just like when Eddie was moving initially, he wants to say “I’ll be fine without you, so just go”…. Eddie had to confront him about the subtle isolation strategies he has always used to avoid painful realities. He knows that Buck has been putting up a front and he calls him out. Eddie also had the right to confront him about not talking to him about his own experience with the grief. Buck has been avoiding these conversations because he knows he’ll fall apart further if he’s forced to reconcile with just how real this is to all of them. Eddie telling him about the phone call and trying not to wake Christopher or scare him put things into perspective for Buck. He was saying “I feel it too, I’m devastated and I blame myself too… we all do” and in his own way Buck NEEDED to hear this. Scolding him after his comment where he was trying to deflect is REALISTIC. Holding Buck accountable and calling out his obvious avoidance can feel harsh, but it’s tough love. It’s saying “I know you’re trying to push me away or make yourself feel more alone, but I won’t let you”. I cried so fucking hard watching their exchange because it was so raw. I believe that this interaction is extremely reflective of their characters and I’m glad they included it.

[hwnglx]

bts as fathers

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

note; i didn't continue with the second question for every member, since the answer was understandable on the first and they didn't feel entirely comfortable with me diving deeper. pls remember that this reading, is not me making any carved in stone predictions; but it's solely the energy i pick up on, at this specific point in time. enjoy the read ♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈

seokjin

would he like to become a father?

seokjin seems quite intimidated by fatherhood. i can see the main thing holding him back, being his own insecurities, and fear of the responsibility, he sees as huge. currently, seokjin doesn't see himself as someone who's capable of carrying that “burden”, since he does recognize the amount of work it requires to raise a child. it can be a lot to deal with, very tiring, and obviously you never really get a break. he's worried about not being able to give his kids what they deserve.

what would he be like as a father?

in all honestly, he'd be a great father. seokjin's ability to light up every situation he's in, would also make itself visible when it comes to filling his kid's life with genuine happiness.

a lot of joy, i keep hearing children laughing. the type of father who'd sit down the sandbox himself and squeeze his long legs into that tiny space, just to play with his kids, and entertain their little imaginations, like building a sand castle. he'd genuinely value them feeling seen, and acknowledged.

i can also see him becoming the type of father who's very protective, probably more prone to getting worried easily. a father who wants to make sure his children grow up confidently; knowing their worth and their value.

additionally, he could want to teach his kids the importance of standing up for themselves. not being afraid of speaking up when it's necessary. i keep hearing his (lovingly nagging) voice in my head. he would give them verbal lessons, that are more on the gentle and playful side but effective enough, and encourage them in that manner.

i can see seokjin wanting to go against the more traditional ways of upbringing, and allowing his kids more freedom. i really don't see him being this extremely strict father, who slams his iron fist on the table, but moreso as someone who thinks it's important to focus on providing his children with a happy and stable childhood, and family life. fulfilling their wishes, not being so restrictive or stern. he doesn't want his kids to lie to him, or have to rebel and sneak out. he'd want his children to be honest and upright.

i can feel him wanting to lead by example, and be a rolemodel his children can look up to; a father they're proud of. this could be the reason he has a lot of insecurities in this regard. seokjin wants to be the best father he can be for his kids, and might feel he isn't really there yet. he feels he's too immature and not wise enough yet, to be a good enough example.

yoongi

would he like to become a father?

i don't really see yoongi being interested in having kids. he's someone who can be immensely independent, and focused on himself first and foremost. like all i see in the spread is him. (several impulsive knights) i don't see yoongi liking the thought of having to stay put and limiting himself in his freedom. he likes being a free spirit who can just live on his own terms, according to what he himself wants to do, in whatever moment. (i also often get this feeling it's quite understandable in his eyes, he seems to carry this mindset of “it's my life, of course i'll spend it the way i want to”)

the thought of having children seems to cause worries and anxiety in him. it stresses him out, and i feel him preferring to avoid the topic, so i won't dive in much further.

hobi

would he like to become a father?

hobi's thoughts seem a little conflicting here. his energy felt lighter in regards to this topic before, he could've done a lot of reflecting and serious pondering on it ever since.

what i'm strongly feeling, is that hobi believes he'd definitely have to step up to the plate responsibly; he'd have to man up, and mature. his thoughts seem to consist of a lot of.. “am i really there already?”

he thinks that he'd have to put his toxic habits and more selfishly driven desires behind for the sake of his kids.

there's this feeling of.. “my life won't be just about me anymore.” hobi believes becoming a father would require him to tap into the more humble, grounded and selfless side of him, that is fully focused on providing for someone else.

he's also aware there's still a lot of things he'd have to heal, confront and actively work on when it comes to himself.

what would he be like as a father?

hobi feels like it's a given for him to take on the role of the strong and dependable provider, who gives his family a sense of stability; the one his children can comfortably lean on.

there is this worry in terms of him perhaps not having built a financial ground that's reliable enough yet, in his eyes. not only for himself, but if hobi was to ever have children, that'd be incredibly important to him. i keep getting this feeling of.. “i need to lay the necessary groundwork, so that my family can have it easy.”

i can also see hobi as a father, who'd be very supportive when it comes to his children's goals and ambitions. the type who's glad to guide his kids into the direction they want to go down, push and encourage them in a way where they feel confident in their abilities. i do think he'd be quite good at finding this balance between being strict enough for them to take him seriously, but also focus on uplifting them.

namjoon

would he like to become a father?

it's interesting, because the moon has made an appearance for almost everyone from the hyung line till now. the card can be about things being hidden, deception, confusion, insecurity, uncertainty, fear, anxiety. the topic of having kids is understandably of more complex nature.

namjoon also seems to feel a level of intimidation at the thought of having kids. it's understandably a concept unfamiliar to him, which can be scary. however, considering the following two of wands; this is like him contemplating on taking a step out of the dark.

i can see namjoon feeling ready if he feels like his life, his surroundings, his mindset, and basically everything possibly affecting his children, is calm, balanced, and in harmony. he wants to welcome them into a pleasant environment.

interestingly, though a sense of reluctance and fear is definitely present, he does seem to think that, once it's the right time, he'll approach fatherhood in an open-minded and ever-learning manner. he knows he won't be perfect from the beginning, but there's a part of him that wants to humbly learn as he progresses.

note; this is a passing thought i keep having, but i could picture namjoon adopting children.

what would he be like as a father?

he'd be quite broad-minded, in a way where he wouldn't be a rigid father who puts intense restrictions on his kids. namjoon would put a lot of importance into raising his children as independent and self-sufficient individuals, who are wise and content with what they have. he wants them to know how to count and appreciate their blessings.

i don't see him wanting to spoil them too much, or have them grow up in this extremely privileged nepo baby “oh i'm a famous celebrity's kid” manner.

namjoon would be more of a father who lets his kids run free, rather than intruding and strictly lecturing them constantly. he'd be a parent who thinks it's important to let his children fall sometimes, so they can gather their own know-how of how to get back up.

though he wouldn't want them to be depending on him for everything, he'd still be an existence of emotional understanding for his children. especially when it comes to communicating; namjoon would want his kids to feel safe enough to open up to him, without fear of judgment or the need to hide parts of themselves. he wants to feel like a gentle and intuitive parent figure who's naturally attuned to his kids' needs, compassionate, and understands their point of view.

jimin

would he like to become a father?

so, jimin is one of the members who reads as more fond of the idea. he does see fatherhood as something he would like for his life, and might even imagine himself in that role a lot. however, he feels uncertain about whether he'll be able to to actually translate his wishes into reality. (12h mars)

jimin's energy is very.. “these are the things i wish for, and these are the things i believe i can do.” in his eyes, there's a gap between the two; meaning, he struggles believing he can actually live up to what he himself wishes he could be.

he's so immensely critical of himself, can often have the tendency to acknowledge his downfalls, before his strengths. jimin could get worried he'll end up projecting his insecurities onto his children, not being able to provide them with the emotional fulfillment they deserve. he believes there's deeply rooted, inner issues and traumas, he'd need to actively confront and heal. he doesn't see himself as a father who'd have much to offer.

what would he be like as a father?

this is actually very sweet. i can see jimin being a father who puts true work and effort into establishing a close connection to his children.

there's this immense desire in him to display his affection towards them, in a way where they feel sincerely and wholeheartedly loved. he'd literally pour out his heart.

i keep getting the sense that this man carries a wounded inner child in him. he feels like he's healing it by caring for other children. i keep being drawn to the world “love”.. that's what might've been lacking for jimin when he was younger, so he can feel the need to make other children feel loved.

i also keep feeling the need to say “genuinely, truly, sincerely” like, his love isn't fake, it's not a pretense and it's not shallow. it's not performance-based either. a parent's love is pure, and that's what he would want his children to know. he'd love them unconditionally, with all their imperfections and mistakes.

jimin would for sure be a father who's immensely protective, but in a gentle and almost motherly type of way. he feels this desire to shield his children from all the dark in the world, and would probably prefer just tucking them into this little cacoon by his side, where they're safe and sheltered.

taehyung

would he like to become a father?

so, taehyung is clear on fatherhood being something that'd be a major change in his life. he believes it'd require him to step out of his comfort zone, and rebuild his lifestyle, his attitude, his approach, in a manner that provides his child with the best possible circumstances to grow up in. despite the initial shock fatherhood could result in (it's a little bit of this.. “oh wow my life will completely change now”), i can also see taehyung feeling uplifted, and in high spirits about it.

an insight that's coming through strongly for him, is that he'd be very adamant on protecting his children from the media, gossip, etc. he would not want his kid to be the talk of the town, have unnecessary eyes watching and everyone voicing their opinion on them. he does read as someone who wants to separate his professional and private life; doesn't want one to disrupt the other.

taehyung wouldn't want his fatherhood to get tangled in his public image, and the fact that he's a celebrity whose private life is much more interesting to the public, to pose as an inconvenience to his family, fatherhood and his children.

ideally, he'd find a way to balance his efforts in both areas. do his best as artistically, while also fulfilling his role as a father, and providing his children everything they'd be in need of.

what would he be like as a father?

i see taehyung thriving in the role. with all the cap energy, fatherhood is likely to come naturally to him. again, i keep getting it, the protective side in him would be strong. he'd be firm on shielding his kids from negative influence; the type of parent who's careful and selective over who he allows to be around his kids. he could get very “don't talk to my child like that.”

don't know why but i also keep seeing him say that to his members too lmaoo, like i could imagine him telling a member holding his baby “okay it's enough you held him for too long already” or something ㅜ

taehyung is likely to be more of the stricter father, who's very clear on the lessons he wants to teach his kids. he wouldn't be a parent who'd be easy to convince, or talked into allowing them to do something. his energy here is more authoritarian, in a “i said no, that means no. end of discussion.” way.

his energy reminds me of my stepfather, who was a capricorn. he had these exact rules i had to follow; like bed time at 7 pm. i remember him stressing me out badly, because he was so unmoving, i could cause riots, he'd just let me be annoyed but still firmly go through with what he said. in the end i learnt a lot from him.

i do see potential for taehyung to be the type of father who bickers a lot with his children though; he could have a lot of disagreements.

i can sense his main intention being to equip his children with thick skin.. encouraging them in a way that gives them strength, letting them discover their own power through embracing their strengths, building up their confidence.

lastly, there is a part of taehyung that could connect with the imaginative, emotional world of his children.

he might not always express love in overly affectionate ways, but it would come through in the little things: playing silly games with them, nurturing their creative spirit, encouraging them to dream freely. his children could talk about the most silly and whimsical things to him, and he'd entertain it, in a way that makes them feel seen and valid. there's a part of taehyung that wants to preserve their inner naivety and innocence, while also helping them develop into strong and self-assured individuals.

jungkook

would he like to become a father?

so, jk immediately came in with the energy of.. “if i meet the right person, who'd make me want to have a child, i would.”

however, i have to say, he is someone who can feel most comfortable when working, and is most familiar with himself in work-mode. the concept of becoming a father is something that feels very.. strange (?) to him.

tbh, nearly every time i read for jungkook, his childhood comes to mind. while reading this time, i got reminded of him being a capricorn rising; and it made things click for me.

all the virgo energy, plus having a cap ascendant, can make jungkook a person who's not only self-critical and hardworking by nature, but also someone who encountered the weight of responsibility at a very young age. he can search for joy in the more simple things in life as he gets older, and as he finds more comfort in letting loose, because he's already been introduced to the serious adult world so early on.

in my spread, the page of pentacles (representing a younger jk as a virgo sun) fell out next to the six of cups (card of childhood, nostalgia) which made it look like the hardworking student is curiously gazing at these two kids, who are happily playing next to him. it seems like a world unfamiliar to him.

the awkwardness that i'm getting here makes sense. if someone's inner child was neglected and left emotionally unfulfilled for years; it's hard to the blame the person for not really knowing how to emotionally nurture another child. how do you expect someone to teach a child something, when it's something they've never been taught themselves?

i don't see jungkook necessarily rejecting fatherhood, as much as i see it potentially stirring up unresolved inner issues and self-doubt within him, that he doesn't seem too comfortable confronting as of right now.

i currently see him more emotionally distant from the idea of fatherhood. not because he doesn’t care, but because, he doesn’t believe he’s yet capable of offering the emotional maturity it requires.

mtl “best” father in my eyes

#1 taehyung

#2 seokjin

#3 jimin

#4 namjoon

#5 hobi (surprisingly)

#6 jungkook

#7 yoongi (he could honestly be great, i just didn't get an ounce of insight into potential fatherhood..)

seokjin and taehyung are quite close imo, i just see taehyung feeling more comfortable and confident in the role.

[foxieduvought]

University AU Dean!Price who speaks so soft and sweet to his work-study intern who leans in a bit too close to hear him when he lowers his voice. Done on purpose, of course, so he can smell your vanilla shampoo and let those silky strands tickle his cheek and get caught up in his facial hair. He’d never had an intern before; he could understand why so many of his professional acquaintances recommended he get one. Sexy thing; strutting around doing your job impeccably in those pencil skirts and tights, button-ups left open enough for him to sneak peaks at your cleavage, adorned with fun necklaces that matched your outfits. He wondered sometimes about giving you a different kind of necklace…

Dean!Price x Intern who spend way too much time at the end of each week when he has to report on your progress, put in your file that you’re earning your credits. And he had some ideas about how you could earn them even sweeter…

These were all ideas, of course. John Price never once crossed any lines that put his career in jeopardy. Not anymore. Those days were long gone. Another man, another life. Now he sat at his desk, eyeing you from behind his readers, tapping those fingers impatiently against the wood of his desk - luxurious and big and rich, he absolutely has considered laying you down on it once or twice, pictured your face popping up from beneath it between his legs, perfect pouty lips dribbling with the load he’d spilled inside your mouth -

“Mr. Price?”

Your voice interrupted his thoughts - fingers ached from how hard he was gripping the desk. He cleared his throat and rubbed at his joints. “Sorry. Got a lot on my mind.”

And a lot on his mind he did have, you just had no idea how much his thoughts were consumed by images of you in various compromising positions, thanking him for his signature on your paperwork, while he praised you for building up your credits and experience like a smart, capable little dove…

He confided in one of his colleagues, Professor Riley, who was getting himself involved in a questionable situation as well, both men spilling secrets at the pub down the street. One thing was clear: neither of them were going to be able to keep strong much longer.

[stellabobana]

Completely free market is a rule, but it's not actually a coherent rule by itself. First you need to create all sorts of rules about how you define private property. You're going to immediately run into problems of freedom when you consider the capabilities of someone with a billion Currency vs so one with ten. If your definition of freedom allows the rich to have their way with the poor - starve them of resources, force them to take unequal deals beause of the pressure you can apply, simply use your wealth to destroy any attempt they make to improve their lot - I think you have a fundamentally flawed understanding of freedom.

Rules don't occur simply to enslave, but to spread freedom. They are ways to try to limit externalities. In a full free market system only the rich are free, and they state this is fair and just, but it relied on an understanding of private property acquisition that doesn't have to have been. How many years back in a family's history before the slavery that saw them accumulate their wealth no longer counts?

I'm asking you to acknowledge all the rules, and limits on freedoms, you actually take as a given.

You don't object to lack of freedoms. You are perfectly happy to accept them within your framework, you've just hidden them from view.

The point of my counter to the 2 person example is as soon as you have more people, less scarcity, there will arise inequality. And the way you delay with that is, no matter what, going to encroach on someone's freedoms. What is mine? Is it finders keepers? Only things in my house? Only things I can protect? Those answers are actually important and influence your result.

“Leftists want to enslave doctors” is such a weird take to keep showing up. I think it’s a libertarian thing?

[subtextdecoder]

TBHX: Tying post 1 and post 2 with a few lines that sparked my curiosity.

But first:

Is this Zero? I don't know who this is but it clearly shows that they have some leverage over the heroes, since it shows them being on top of this person's hand. This made me think that the theory @marisandini-chu-blog told me about is in fact possible:

"What if X has a singular someone he's playing chess against?"

Would it be this person? I'm intrigued. I've got a lot to consider now.

For now, let's stick to the sequences that hint at everything I mentioned in the previous posts:

This one is pretty graphic if we think about X's ability. So is it what he is doing? Disrupting the system to establish a new one... It makes sense to think that he is helping the other heroes if we consider this line:

He needs them. Even if X is the most powerful being in the world—even if he were to create an entirely new system—he couldn’t sustain it alone. That’s simply not how life works. No matter how capable one individual is, society functions through collaboration. We rely on others daily to keep the engine running.

And X, surely, knows this. He’s far from naive, which leads us to a deeper question: if he is helping the other heroes, is it truly out of kindness? Or is there a more self-serving reason behind his actions? After all, aligning with them might be the only way to ensure the success of whatever he's trying to build.

Of course, there's always room for speculation. Maybe he is kind. Or maybe he’s something else entirely—an embodiment of fate itself, taking on human form to guide the course of change. Who’s to say?

I think the Commission fears the people more than anything. After all, they hold the numbers, and in a world ruled by public opinion, that makes them dangerously powerful.

Imagine if the average citizen began to grasp the extent of their influence—how deeply their trust, or lack of it, could shape someone else's fate. Chaos would be inevitable. But the real issue lies in the Commission’s response: instead of fostering understanding or transparency, they double down. They tighten their grip, trying to enforce perfect control over something as volatile and ever-shifting as society.

But control, when forced, always slips.

Human nature resists over management. People are not static; they’re complex, adaptive, and unpredictable. The Commission gambled on a false sense of permanence—believing that if the rules stayed rigid, the people would remain obedient. But all it takes is one unpredictable act to unravel the illusion.

Nice's leap from the rooftop was that act. It cracked the narrative and exposed the system's fragility. Maybe that's why X chose that exact moment to step in—to nudge things further off-script. Once the first tremor hits, revolution doesn’t need to be sparked, only guided.

Which leads us to the present moment:

X says that while holding his coin—the one that supposedly helps him make decisions. What’s going to happen now, I wonder? It would be interesting if it turned out X isn’t actually the all-powerful mastermind, but Lin Ling. I don’t know… I just sometimes wonder if he’s really that overpowered, or if maybe his ability comes with a huge drawback we haven’t discovered yet.

[voxofthevoid]

I think what most people usually get wrong about Yuuji is that he isn't dumb, just inexperienced. I think he's pretty smart to catch onto some hellish situations very quickly.

How would you say his emotional intelligence measures up? Compared to someone like Gojou or Megumi? Nanami? Kenjaku?

I could write three different essays on what the bulk of this fandom gets wrong about Yuuji and still have material for more essays, and yes, the "lol he's so dumb" characterization is one of them.

In terms of normal academics, he seems to be unremarkable—struggles with certain things (he's failing molecular biology, if I'm remembering Gege's comments right) but puts in decent effort and keeps his head above water. But a lack of book smarts doesn't indicate a lack of intelligence, and time and time again in canon, Yuuji proves himself to be perceptive, adaptable, and generally capable of grasping and applying key concepts in sorcery. For the most part, he seems to learn best by seeing and then doing—Divergent Fist manifests and is refined during spars and then actual fights, while he manages (and matches Nanami's record in) Black Flash while in a highly dangerous combat situation. But it's only a few months later that he reads, understands, and utilizes Yuki's personal notes on souls and cursed energy—and I sincerely doubt she wrote those with easy comprehension in mind. Those are the research notes of a special grade sorcerer on a highly complex topic, and Yuuji, with just a month to prepare, got good use out of them.

Calling Yuuji dumb isn't a matter of interpretation—it's just plain wrong. There are absolutely characters in canon who are smarter than Yuuji, including among his peers, but that doesn't make Yuuji stupid, even in comparison.

As for emotional intelligence, I'd rank Yuuji above Gojou and Megumi, on par with Nanami by the end of canon, and below Kenjaku. Kenny's over a million years old, and while other people's emotions are mostly chess pieces to them, they're clearly skilled in perceiving their own and others' feelings. Who knows, maybe Yuuji inherited that from them. Can't see it being Jin or Wasuke. Given Yuuji's age, the way he handles emotions is particularly impressive—there's much food for thought when it comes to how that aspect of him will evolve as he ages and matures.

[theoppositequeens]

look around, look inside

Fandom: The Empyrean (Fourth Wing) Rating: T Tags & warnings: Underage sex, Asexuality, Aegosexual Bodhi Durran

Read on Ao3 here.

So here is the emotional glass bauble I wrote at 2 am tonight. Please treat it with care? <3 And if it hits close to home for someone else, feel free to come talk to me!

Thank you, @shipmistress9 for betaing this🖤🤍💜 And @ellebellewritesfic my darling, for unwavering support!

Written for Bodhi Week 2025 by @empyreanevents Day 1: Right Hand. Title from Dye the Water Green - Bibio.

look around, look inside

Sometimes Bodhi wonders if there's something wrong with him.

It's been like that since he was a teenager. All around him, his friends were talking about first kisses and crushes, and those he could get behind, but then it started being about sex. And he started pretending – at first not even consciously, because yeah, the idea of sex was nice. He used to daydream and think about it and it definitely got him going. Bodhi listened in awe to Garrick and Xaden when they let him sit in on their discussions about conquests, and in theory it was hot and interesting, but he started feeling squeamish when they teased him about who he'd try it out with.

His cousin and his cousin's best friend usually let him off the hook, not pressing when he started blushing and avoiding the question. His friends were more forthright, and Bodhi definitely answered things like which girl in class is the prettiest? or which girl has the nicest legs? But it was the whole if you had to choose who you'd want to give you a blowjob, who would it be? and all the other similar questions. He never understood the concept of wanting that. Their group of friends used to watch the infantry that were garrisoned at Aretia to keep the peace, and scan over the cadets, pointing them out. Bodhi usually just defaulted to saying he'd prefer his current crush, or then he picked the objectively most attractive person.

Bodhi understands beauty.

He finds people beautiful and can appreciate their looks, but he's never looked at someone and gotten turned on. He's never looked at someone and thought: yeah, I want to fuck that person.

It's not like he didn't kiss girls when he was younger – and a few boys, just to be sure – but nothing ever made him want to do more. It was just something one did, and the kissing is nice, he enjoys that – to a point.

Sometimes he wonders if he liked the idea that they liked him. If maybe the mental representation of their desire was what turned him on. If being wanted was the motivation behind even trying, or if it was peer pressure.

It confuses the shit out of him, because it's not like he doesn't get aroused.

That part of him works just fine, thank you very much, and he can get off by himself: fast or slow or edging himself until he blanks out from how good the orgasm is.

The idea of sex is hot. The dirty Tyrrish sonnets he snuck into his own room from the library to read in his teens were damn enjoyable. And if there were some suspicious stains on them when he returned them, no one will ever know who it was.

For a while, after the apostasy, Bodhi just thought maybe the trauma had killed his libido. Even if he woke hard sometimes in the mornings, he felt no need to sate that urge with another person, and he chalked it up to grief.

Then he tried having sex, and it didn't go too well.

Mostly, it was pressure. The place he was fostered in had a lot of young maids and a lot of young working-class boys and Bodhi was – reluctantly – educated alongside them. He was already different enough, and since everyone was fooling around, he would have stuck out even more if he didn't.

Turns out after some trial and error, that he is capable. It's just that it's not sexy or arousing when it's his own body doing things, his own self doing things. If he sort of goes into his own head, distances himself until he's almost thinking in third person, almost seeing it happen to his own body like a spectator, then it's enjoyable enough. If he imagines while the things are happening to him, that they're happening to someone else – a fictional character, a faceless representation, a person he's admired from afar – that works too.

The worst thing is: he still has crushes. He's fucking capable of love, just not being sexually attracted to the person, and it kills him. He wants the companionship, the kisses, the intimacy of knowing someone so well, the shared life and the cuddles and to be loved in return.

But they expect sex. And he can give it to them, but it's a chore. It requires going away in his own head, and he feels like he's constantly betraying his partner by not being mentally present, by faking the enthusiasm. It's not like he doesn't aesthetically appreciate their bodies, because he does. He admires them, thinks them lovely and beautiful and knows they're objectively attractive.

He's jarred out of his mind too often during sex, and that's what's exhausting. The need to constantly reweave his fantasy as it's interrupted by real life. In his head, there's no awkward moments or limbs in the wrong place or sounds that trigger his gag reflex or breathing that goes into his ear. No comments that he has to actually respond to, no partner whose comfort he has to see to.

It's easier when he's on the receiving end, so Bodhi goes for men. Easier to be more passive, be the one that gets fucked – and the physical sensations work just as well, because most of the work on getting off happens within his head. A hand on his cock, steady thrusts, kisses down his stomach: it only feels nice if he imagines it's not happening to him.

Reality isn't attractive, but he can get off on it, if he does his best. After, he dislikes the sensations in his own body. Dislikes the cleanup and the realism and the wetness and stickiness. Feels like a fraud, cuddling up to a partner and responding yeah, for me too to breathless whispers about how good it was.

It feels like a fucking transaction to buy their love with his discomfort.

And it's a lie.

Because he never tells. There's clearly something wrong with him, something that doesn't function as it should. And putting himself on the line like that... Well, no one pre-Basgiath is that loyal to a marked one. Bodhi is afraid that if his – generally short-lived – relationships end, they'll spread the news. So he swallows all the discomfort, all the worry. He makes himself a sexual creature with determination and anxiety and tears and avoidance and hard work.

People make sex and attraction look so easy.

It runs rampant through Basgiath, once he gets there, and Bodhi watches Garrick fuck his way through half the population, Imogen eye the men with interest, Xaden choose his hookups carefully when they're not caused by dragon lust.

He's thankful Cuir isn't bonded, because he's not sure how he would react to being attracted to people he sees in front of him. He's scared it would be a completely new feeling, something he's never felt in his life. It would confirm that all this time he's just been playing pretend, trying to force himself to think that he is attracted physically to people. Cuir soothes him, tells him that among dragonkind it is not abnormal to not want a mate.

But Bodhi wants a mate. He just doesn't want to mate. Cuir doesn't get the distinction.

No one notices, here, that he doesn't do hookups. They all assume he's just discreet. Garrick ribs him for being secretive and Bodhi lies his ass off then, leads him intentionally into certain assumptions while the others chuckle. Xaden sometimes throws him searching glances that make Bodhi think he knows. Or at least suspects. His cousin has always known when Bodhi is lying.

But Xaden never says anything. He only shifts closer in the crowded, small room, presses his shoulder into Bodhi's – a solid, comforting touch that Xaden will never know how much Bodhi appreciates.

Bodhi watches Xaden fall for Violet. He watches Garrick and Imogen dance around their feelings.

He feels incredibly jealous, but he doesn't dare try. Finding someone who could want him, without sex, seems like too much to ask. And Bodhi is firm on the line now. He won't compromise anymore. He won't force himself into something he dislikes so intensely.

And besides, does he really need love?

He has the platonic love of his friends, his found family. He lives somewhat well enough on their touches and hugs and comfort. He's not touch-starved or lacking for people to share his troubles with.

He has his own right hand for sexual pleasure, and his own mind to feed the fantasies he comes up with.

Is it greedy of him to want more?

[lightlycareless]

I've been thinking about how Naoya, the type of heir to have concubines from every town at this point, likes to brag and demean you, another unwilling concubine, when comparing you to them.

He's unreasonably cruel to you, far more than the others. And they seem to relish that fact, as if they've gained the upper hand in his favor or something.

In his eyes, you just don't seem good enough. You're not good at cooking, at cleaning, at sewing, and not even good at fucking either.

"To have my seed is a blessing!" He'd chastise you after throwing you out of the room, presumably to bed another woman. "You're in a position many woman would kill for, but I don't expect someone as brute as you to ever understand."

His words long have stopped hurting you, numbing you from even caring; if that's what he thought of you, then why are you even here?

...

Because he's lying. His words are nothing but a lie when it comes to his genuine thoughts.

The truth is, Naoya can't keep you out of his mind. From the moment you appeared in his life, during that redundant meeting... You've taken his heart captive.

An act no other woman has been able to replicate even though he tried. Countless times.

You're just... Irreplaceable.

To have his child isn't a blessing. To have yours is. He would kill to have a permanent connection between the two, something that will forever remind you of whom you really belong to.

Whom his heart holds dear, though in a twisted manner.

So naturally, he's discontent when his father suggests getting rid of you. Apparently, you are constantly bringing out the worst of Naoya, and such behavior is improper, and intolerable, of his successor.

Naobito didn't understand the depths of his son's feelings, of course. He would never comprehend that it was Naoya's twisted way of intertwining you to his life: if he made you believe you were worthless, with him being the only person in the whole world capable of seeing some value to you, then you'd leech onto him. It was perfect!

...Naobito didn't understand why Naoya became so furious upon learning that you've already been sent off to another suitor, a fitting man for someone as difficult as you:

His own damn brother, who has always been looking for a way to get back at him. And now, was handed such opportunity in a silver platter.

[applenilune]

Trepidation | one -The file-

SUMMARY~ Three years ago a Colonel from the Deepspace Fleet was murdered by his wife, now, rumors about a mind controlling chip are circulating on the Fleet’s corridors, making the officers feel scared and unsafe. Colonel Caleb is assigned to find out if they are true. But, why is a murder case from three years ago related to rumors about a chip? What does the former Colonel wife knows about that? Can Caleb get to the bottom of the mystery, without getting too close and attached to her?

Pairing~ Caleb x fr

Rating~ M! Explicit!

Warnings for this chapter~ mentions of death, mental illness,blood and suicide.

Tags~ 18+ MDNI, Dead Dove, dark themes, slow burn, eventual smut, trauma, mental illness, slightly gore descriptions, manipulation, murder allegations, conspiracy, stalking (I’ll add more as I think of them)

A/N: HELLO! This is my first fic after Years without writing anything, but the chokehold that Caleb has on me is so strong that I needed to write something for him. I’m a huge fan of thriller/mystery/romance books so that’s why I wanted to write something kinda dark, also, something that I want to mention, English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes that I could have made but I hope it’s still understandable. ALSO, I’m approaching this fic as a “beginning of the toring chip”, so it’s not going to be a 100% accurate depiction of the chip that we saw on the game, but it still will be kinda related. To finish, the female character has no name so in this chapter I put it as y/n but I’m not really sure about it so, maybe I’ll change that later, let me know how you feel about that.

Almost everyone on the fleet knew what had happened with Colonel Davian Vayne, he was young, 27 years old when he died, he was extremely smart and capable of handling the officers on his command, he never hesitated when it came to take hard decisions on his department, all of his work was clean and in perfect order, maybe that’s why he had become colonel at such a young age, everyone knew and liked him, he had the perfectly life, he was wealthy, his parents owned a chain of very fancy and famous restaurants around Skyhaven, and with his status as colonel the money only kept growing, he was elegant and charming, tall and broad, his blonde hair and hazel eyes drew attention from all the woman on the fleet, he was the type of men who everyone respects, who everyone raised their eyes to look at. He seemed to have no flaws.

He was also married, his wife was a real estate agent, not everyone knew her at the fleet, they had only see her a couple of times when one of the fancy dinner parties took place and everyone was encouraged to bring someone along, to make the parties more fun and interesting, who wouldn’t want to know how was the life outside the farspace fleet job? who do you live with? who were you when you weren’t using the uniform?

Colonel Davian’s wife was really a lovely person, said by the few people that met her, the few times she was on one of the fleet’s dinner parties she was always engaged in small talks with everyone learning about her husband’s teammates and their families, talking about her job and her life as a colonel’s wife, she was beautiful, they said, her delicate features, big beautiful eyes, soft skin and long jet black hair made all the people turn to look at her when she entered a room.

They made the perfect couple, what else could you ask from a partner? They were both so painfully perfect.

So, it came as a shock when everyone found out that colonel Davian Vayne had died, or better said, was murdered, by his own wife.

People refused to believe it, there was no way, how could a woman like Y/N Vayne kill her husband on such an horrific way? But she did, there was no doubt about it, she was the only one there with him the night he died, there was no one else’s fingerprints or anything that could lead to believe that someone else did it, that someone had forced their way into their home and attacked him, and when the officers deployed by the fleet arrived at their home and saw her covered in blood they immediately arrested her.

The scene itself was heartbreaking, the living room of the fancy house was dimly lit, decorated on the most elegant furniture, everything remained dark and silent, the lights on the kitchen were the only ones on, the officers approached the area, and saw her, she was out of her mind, on her knees in a corner on the floor of the fancy kitchen crying uncontrollably and screaming in pain with a knife on her hand, she was hurting herself, like she was trying to kill herself too, trying to join her husband, making cuts all over her body, they attempted to calm her down but she was so out of herself that it took them a while to get the knife out of her hands. Her night gown was covered in blood, hers and her husband’s, and everything else in the kitchen was covered in blood too, like if someone had took a bucket full of blood and just splatter it around everything on the kitchen.

The colonel’s body laying lifeless on the floor, also surrounded by an insane amount of blood, his throat had been cut, really deep, it made everyone on the scene felt sick to their stomach.

When she was asked why she did it, she didn’t said anything, she refused to talk with anyone, locking herself inside her own mind, they seemed to have a perfect life, a beautiful dynamic between them, what reason could she possibly had to kill her husband in a really horrible way?

Everyone decided that she was just crazy, something must have snapped on her mind, for her to, all of a sudden, attack her husband and end his life so abruptly, specialists ran a few tests on her, and a few weeks after the murder she was put on trial for killing her husband, Davian Vayne, and condemned to life imprisonment, but since she was declared mentally ill and unstable, they put her on a mental facility, where she would spend the rest of her days.

That had happened three years ago, and even though when it happened it was all that people talked about in the fleet’s office, as time went on, it began to become less and less of a conversation topic. Until almost no one talked about it, until the events even started to morph into something that made no sense at all, no one talked about it anymore, unless someone brought out a memory about colonel Davian Vayne and his work, then all of the stories about the incident were talked on the corridors, people felt sorry about their story and then moved on with their lives.

The world kept moving, besides the lost of a lovable and capable colonel, there was nothing stopping the world from spinning, especially on the fleet, they had a beautiful memorial on his honor and then, that was it.

Since his wife had been convicted and the case had been closed, people just decided to move on, there were other cases, there were other problems, other wars that needed to be fought, other matters that needed to be addressed.

Work at the fleet kept coming so everyone just kinda forgot.

If it didn’t actually happened to anyone in your family or someone close to your heart, then it just became a corridor gossip, and those were never ending too, there was always someone else’s business to discuss, the adjutant did this, the first sergeant messed up the mission, the lieutenant cheated on his wife with the cafeteria girl, half of the battalion died on the deepspace tunnel, the captain was attacked by a wanderer that appeared at his office, etcetera.

People always talked, that was something undeniable. That’s what people do, no matter where you work at.

Recently on the corridors there had been a rumor spreading, people claimed that, there was a chip of some sort, being developed by some technology company that wanted to establish those chips on the fleet, or their officers, to be more exact, to control and keep them on the fleet’s track, wipe their brains clean so that they could write the actions of the employees using the chip, like robots, soulless machines devoted one hundred percent to their job, to make them do what they wanted. To keep the fleet pristine and flawless.

People were starting to get scared, word spreaded like wildfire and it started to affect the fleet’s image, the information wasn’t still out in the public eye, but if they didn’t stop it, it eventually will.

That’s why Caleb was sitting here, in the General’s office. He wanted him to dig deeper, to find out if the claims were true, he had been receiving comments from concerned people who wanted to know if that information was actually true, there was really a chip being created and designed specifically for mind control of the fleet’s employees?

Caleb had become Colonel just a few months after Colonel Vayne had passed away, now, he occupied the place he once had, the General had decided that Caleb was more than well prepared to take the place as the new Colonel, all his skills and knowledge, and all of the experience and decision making he had made on the deepspace tunnel were more than enough to prove that he was perfect for the position, yes, colonel Vayne had died, but they couldn’t leave his place empty, he had died, but the show must go on. The fleet needed to fill the position. And Caleb was the perfect choice. No one had doubts about it.

Caleb was sitting straight, his hands intertwined on his lap, his expression stoic as he listened to the General speaking to him across his desk. He had explained all of the concerns and lies that were being discussed amongst the officers and he thought to himself that it was an stupid rumor with no fundament, but he also understood the way that this could affect the work of the fleet. They wouldn’t want a collective panic surge forming in the minds of the employees. It would make them look weak. And that is the last thing the fleet wants, to look weak.

“As I’m sure you are aware Colonel, we cannot let this situation escalate more, if we let all of this nonsense talking continue, it will affect our performance as a whole. I need you to conduct an investigation about this, I know it’s not really your specific job but, I cannot let a lower range officer take care of this, you have my full trust, your work has been anything but perfect, so all of this, it has to be just between us, I don’t want this to grow bigger until we have full knowledge and control about it. When you’re done with the investigation, you report it directly to me”

“I understand sir, you don't have to worry” Caleb said with a calm demeanor “I will personally take care of it”

The general pushed an e-file pad that was sitting on his desk on Caleb’s direction, he had his hand placed over the file, not wanting Caleb to take it yet, until he had finished talking.

“This is a classified document, the information that resides in these pages is knowledge of a few people, not even you as a colonel, could have access to it, I’m giving it to you because the minute that these comments came into my ears, this file was the first thing that I thought about, I think it could help as a start”

“If you allow me sir,” Caleb said “You really think that this corridor conversations require a deep investigation?”

“People is getting startled, not even me as the fleet’s General had any sort of information regarding any sort of chip, we cannot leave anything to speculation, we need to maintain this corporation afloat, if there is any sort of mind controlling chip I want to know, we need to protect our people”

Caleb nodded, then the General release the folder and pushed further towards Caleb for him to grab it, then took a small piece of paper and wrote down the password Caleb would need to unlock the e-file pad, when Caleb took them, he stood from the chair and prepared to leave.

The General was really committed to his work, he was one of the few people on the fleet that actually cared about the people under his wings, more than the wellbeing and orders of the higher ups, Caleb thought to himself that, that was actually more of a weakness than strength, but he wasn’t the General…yet.

“I’ll start working on it right away sir” he said, as he saluted the general and then turn away to leave his office, when his hand was over the door handle the General said:

“Not a word about this to anyone Colonel, until we know what we’re actually dealing with. You and I are the only ones that know about this, let’s keep it that way.”

Caleb opened the door without responding, since it wasn’t actually necessary, and he stepped outside, this was the most odd request he had received, to him, all this situation made no sense, the officers were focusing on a stupid hallway gossip instead of doing their jobs, but since the General had asked him, he literally had no choice but to dig into it. And he was the best at his job.

Caleb walked expressionless straight to his office, people turned around to salute him, but he didn’t bother to respond or even look at them, when he arrived, he ordered his secretary to not interrupt him under any circumstances, the curiosity about knowing what was in that file that he was just granted access was itching on him, and also, he wanted to be finished with this nonsense as quick as possible, he locked the door behind him, and walked to sit on his chair, he placed the file on the desk and looked at it like hesitating for a second, what was he going to find out inside of it?

He opened the file, and when it asked him, he introduced the password the General had provided him to unlock the e-file pad. It opened, what it said on the first page on bold letters made him furrow his brows. What does this case had to do with the rumors about the chip? It made no sense, why was the General giving him this file?

FARSPACE FLEET INVESTIGATION BUREAU

CASE 00MI1608

RESTRICTED ACCESS

PLEASE RETURN THIS FILE IF YOU ARE ON LEVEL 08 OR BELOW

YOU WILL BE PROSECUTED

ASSASSINATION OF COLONEL DAVIAN VAYNE

AUGUST 2045

The murder of colonel Davian? He was killed three years ago, what his murder file had to do with a fucking mind controlling chip? He relaxed a little bit on the chair, the general had given this to him for a reason. He started reading the file to find out why.

The file had a lot of pages, this specific case was handled by the fleet itself because the victim was a high rank officer, Caleb was fixated on the information from minute one, it was like reading a suspense, thriller novel, everything was so intriguing to him.

The firsts pages of the file were about the night the murder had taken place, as it said, it was a quiet summer night, the Vayne’s were at home and all of the sudden something has snapped up in his wife, the investigators wrote that they were probably arguing about something in the kitchen, when Y/N Vayne suddenly decided that she had enough. Took one of the expensive chef knives that laid on the kitchen island and cut her husband’s throat.

Caleb moved onto the next pages, there were pictures of the crime scene, it was kinda like what the stories around the fleet were told, Davian was on the floor, his throat had been cut so deep that you could see the muscles tore open, the floor was so covered in blood that it was like if someone had moped it with a bucket full of blood.

Caleb was desensitized of watching this types of scenes, no one with a high position on the fleet wasn’t accustomed to this sort of stuff, you had to handle the hard situations, so he didn’t even flinch at the images.

The next few pages were images of Mrs. Vayne’s body, she had apparently been tryin to end her life too, there were cuts made by herself all over her body, her arms, legs, neck, stomach, almost everywhere. She wasn’t successful in her attempts of course but Caleb thought that that was a strange way of trying to kill yourself.

He continued reading the file.

After the colonel’s autopsy, there were physical and psychiatric tests that were conducted on his wife.

The doctors wrote that she refused to talk to anyone for almost a week, it was like she was in some kind of mental lockdown, almost like she refused to believe that this was her new reality. That she had killed her husband.

They had her arrested on the hospital, hands cuffed into the bed, but somehow when she was not being watched she broke free from the restraints and began hurting herself again, when the officers, nurses and doctors entered the room, she was again covered in blood, she was on a frenzy, she had a deep wound in the back of her neck, arms and legs, she had also bitten herself really hard, they searched the room, looking for whatever weapon she had used to do that to herself, but they found nothing.

After that incident she calmed down, it seemed like she had just waken up from a long dream or a coma, or so they thought because now, when she started to speak again, she began talking about how someone had been tracking her down, someone had been following her and watching her, and she also said that someone had implanted a chip on her body, and against her will, they made her kill her husband.

She had no full memory of the night it actually happened, only flashes of memories, she couldn’t explain what had driven her so numb or mad that she murdered her husband so brutally, but she kept repeating that this was not entirely her fault. That they needed to investigate further, that they needed to find out who had done that to her to find out who the real culprit was, but there was no evidence to back up any of those allegations. It was all her doing. And she was saying that only to escape the sentence.

Caleb had to read that again, She said someone had been watching her, put a chip on her body and were controlling her actions. Whoever did that to her, made her kill the colonel, her husband.

A chip.

A controlling chip.

Caleb had to stop for a moment, analyzing the situation, this was why the General had told him that it might be related to the chip rumors happening now. It made him feel, amused, desperate, desperate to know the truth, eager, excited, almost.

He didn’t like not having the full story but…He liked challenges, they were too…enticing. And mysteries, he liked those, and Y/N Vayne was buried in mystery so deep that he wanted to dig her up.

The rest of the file were the prosecutors notes, the case they built against her, so that they could give her a sentence, thanks to the test ran by the psychiatrist’s they had decided to put her on a mental facility, she was obviously sick on her brain, she was out of her mind. She just talked nonsense, right? It was all nonsense? Now he wasn’t so sure.

He knew what he had to do first, to get to the bottom of this entire situation.

He had to talk to her.

[pegging-satan]

I’m having extremely tender thoughts abt dad Zayne like fr especially girl dad Zayne. He loves his daughter so much. Girl dad Sylus too. Their little girls are going to have insanely high standards on how a man should treat them. They are their most precious treasures. I firmly believe that Caleb would be a boy dad lol he just seems like the kind. He’d be throwing that kid around using his evol and stuff. Sylus and Zayne are making cute little toys for their babies meanwhile Caleb has his kid suspended in the air. Sometimes when he needs both his hands to do something he just. Puts the kid in air jail. The baby? Thrilled. He’s just walking around with his son floating above him. The contrast is glorious. Zayne has his daughter in his arms, resting on his hip, doing some dusting and cleaning while chatting with her like she’s perfectly capable of understanding advanced human language. Sylus is carrying his little girl on his shoulders as she tugs at his hair to make him turn. He has made her tiny dragon wings to put on. Caleb has his son suspended in the air while he cooks.

[probably-flowers-and-cats]

//something something about bottling up, pressure building, relapses again, Makochi being full of people who love unconditionally, Sakura, Nirei, and Suo. mostly Sakura.

it's raining. and it's heavy. all of this. Sakura looks at his knuckles, all red again, bruises starting to bloom with purple and blue. he's alone. he's alone — and he did it to himself. again.

old habits die hard, huh?

they don't fucking die. never. immortal bitches.

he clenches his fists, and sharp pain shots up to his throat. no. he's not going to cry over what he broke himself. no. he's. he's capable of being on his own. he lived years before Makochi all alone. it's not a big deal.

no. it's not tears stinging his eyes. no. it's not breath staggering. it's not a familiar rope he's climbing back on. no. he's not dumb. he won't. he won't.

he wants to run? or. what does he want?

Sakura chooses to cover his face with his hands. they smell of blood and mud and — Nirei's mint cough drops; and — Suo's stupid roasted tea leaves; and pastries townsfolk handed him.

he feels sobs growing louder in back of his throat. bubbling, boiling. scorching. h o t. kids' playground. raining. all alone.

Sakura wonders if he wakes up tomorrow with a fever, sore throat, and the whole town feeling alien again, dangerous.

he is dangerous. he bottled up too many things. too many words, too much pain and hurt. bottled up his yells back. his screams. his tears. his annoyance and tiredness. he bottled up himself, letting out only anger that is helping him survive.

everything before Makochi was a survival. state of alertness from 00:00 to the 23:59. then repeat. he was loved — the name he was given speaks volumes — but loneliness was his skin.

Jesus fucking Christ.

he snapped. he snapped, and out of all people who faced his bottled up hurt was Nirei. who was goddamn sick even before retrieving kittens out of a river. and Sakura was so, so, so scared of losing him that instead of reacting like a normal person he snapped. anger making its way out; down the carved path.

and Nirei just stood up there listening. then walked away. and Sakura stayed. raining. and heavy. and he hurts all over again. he doesn't want to leave Makochi.

Sakura belongs here.

he lowers his hands. he. he will stay. he still loves them — he cares for them all. Kotoha, Suo, Nirei, Anzai. townsfolk. it doesn't matter they won't love him back. it's okay.

Sakura shakes his head.

it's not raining anymore. wait. no. it's raining. and it's still heavy. and he still regrets his words. and his knuckles are red, bruised, and swelling. and old habits do die hard, bastards. and love is still there, unconditional and irresistible.

and an umbrella is there, too.

"Nire-kun told me everything. he's very upset and him crying doesn't help him to recover any faster." Sakura curves his lips, guilt twisting his insides. "but he also understands that you was scared. let's get you warm first, shall we?"

"I have to apologize," Sakura mumbles.

"you do," Suo says. "and you will. relapses are quite a common thing, you know. you can bury yourself with all your hurt and scars and tired heart as deep as it's possible, but it will resurface. because you care."

Sakura listens.

"because you love. because you know what it is to lose what you love. what it is to have scars that crawl back into your nightmares. because you know how it hurts to be alone, and how your heart beats when you have people you care about."

a beat of silence.

"come on in. we don't want you to get sick."

it's raining. and it's still heavy. but it's raining, and droplets are bouncing off the umbrella, and it's still heavy — and shared. Sakura lingers on the thought that he wanted to stay either way.

he wonders — does it have to do anything with the fact that no matter what there would be at least one person who believes in him?

(it's the whole town, silly. the whole town believes in you. deal with it. get loved. scars will fade. hurt will get less sharp. heart will recover. and the box you keep unpacked will be finally empty.

you will stay. because you want to.)

[unhinged-domestic-raccoon]

Miraculous Rewatch Where I Overanalyze Everything: Stormy Weather

Hoo boy, this one's a doozy! I almost hit the image limit! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe this was the first episode produced, so some of the things I'm gonna talk about are gonna be early installment weirdness.

To start off, with: Alya is so good with kids and it's precious and amazing and adorable! This is one of my little fanfic note things, since I'm planning on doing a KittyBella AU, where Alya and her relationship with her family is going to be a major plot point. She is just so able to understand Manon and so caring with her, but still respects her (not just letting her win the clapping game for example). I wish this came up more in fanfic. If you have Rena Rouge on the team, I feel like she should be the best member at dealing with kids and the first to think of them and comfort them during a crisis situation. Like, to the degree that it's shocking to their teammates.

Continued under the cut:

Even though Alya is great with kids, Manon is so very attached to Marinette and I think that's so sweet, but I also wonder why that is. I mean, the obvious reason is that kids are clingy and don't like strangers and Marinette is her regular babysitter, but I do also think Manon likes how indulgent Marinette is with her. The whole "I can't say no to the babydoll eyes" thing is probably a big deal for Manon, who doesn't get a whole lot of attention from her very busy single mother. Just food for thought.

Alright everybody, place your bets now! Does Gabriel own Kidz+ and did he hire Alec specifically for this purpose? Is he actively encouraging Alec to lean into the cruel TV personality? Or is he just taking advantage of a rude person? Either way, I think that if you want to establish a proper rogues gallery for Miraculous that has more recurring baddies, Alec and Bob Roth are both great places to start. They'd absolutely willingly work with a supervillain, and I can totally see them getting akumatized multiple times.

Holy horror movie vibes Batman! This looks like something straight out of Arachnophobia! The score doesn't help at all, it's got the classic *reet reet reet* slasher violins! And the way that her umbrella doesn't turn black right away like it does in later episodes and instead slowly seeps with it! The flickering lights in the elevator that have NO explanation for happening without Gabe's influence somehow? The experience of getting akumatized was WAY scarier in this first episode, and I honestly wish they kept that vibe. It makes Hawkmoth seem a lot more threatening and a lot less silly.

This whole first season actually consists of Mothman (no I will not stop on the derogatory nicknames for Gabe) being way more outright villainous. Especially in this episode, he has extremely creepy undertones from his obsession with actual children. I'm positive this is because we didn't know he was Adrien's dad yet, so he didn't have to come off as sympathetic ever. He could just be evil. I do a love a good sympathetic and redeemable Gabe who's only doing this out of extreme grief (that's NOT what we got in the season 5 finale btw, that was just nonsense), but MAN if season 1 doesn't make me yearn for an uncomplicated Disney Renaissance Villain version of him.

Hey, why does Stormy Weather SERVE so hard?! She is doing a full on catwalk strut in this scene! This is why Aurore needs to be a more prominent background/recurring character. I know she's akumatized, but that is just SO MUCH personality! Let her be an unhinged theatre kid in more scenes please!

I do love that even when Marinette is being brave and heroic as a civilian, she does NOT have the enhanced physical capability of the Miraculous. She's not being at all clumsy in this scene, she's showing her inner Ladybug! But she also can't just jump the bench, she has to climb over it by straddling it like the rest of us regular schmucks.

Time for another Plagg highlight! I actually forgot about this running gag/character trait in season 1. Plagg is extremely lazy and never actually wants to transform. He's always either hiding or complaining when Adrien needs him. It's something that kind of disappeared with seasonal decay as the series got more complicated, which is a real shame. Not only is it funny every time, but it's also kind of important if you're going to let Plagg fulfill his TRUE role of being Adrien's mentor. Adrien already knows how to work hard and sacrifice for those he loves. He does it every day. Plagg encouraging him to be selifsh and lazy is HEALTHY for him.

Can we talk about the power level in this yo-yo? Both times, it didn't even have that much force---it just kinda accidentally fell and bopped the heroes on the head. But it's still a magical weapon, so obviously it hurts extremely bad. I'm gonna start keeping track of if civilians ever get hit with this, because I'm almost positive they do, and that's GOT to be a bigger deal than the show makes of it.

Also, we need to talk about how, even with the physical enhancements, Marinette isn't always the best at controlling her yo-yo. Before I started this rewatch, one of the things that frustrated me was that Marinette, a walking disaster in her regular life, suddenly becomes extremely physically competent as Ladybug. But I'm starting to realize that's not true. She actually struggles a lot more than Adrien does. Even in the sound design, Marinette tends to have more effort grunts when they're doing acrobatics than Adrien does. We'll get to another example in a moment!

Another stealthy hello from our favorite cat boy! He fully just climbed that fence without making a single sound! LET HIM BE SNEAKY AND CREEPY! I am BEGGING ya'll!

I'm gonna highlight these moments here to say that, for all Marinette gets annoyed with Chat's flirting (image 3), she flirts back plenty too. I didn't quite capture it in that second screenshot, but she *winks* at him when she says she'd rather he stick to the catsuit (instead of a swimsuit). During the fandom's Salt Fic Era, one of the things the salters targeted was that Chat is supposedly constantly pressuring Ladybug into a relationship even though she continually rejects him. But the joking flirting and teasing was honestly just a part of their dynamic for a long time. It just occasionally gets awkward because Chat is genuine about it while LB isn't (also LB tends to ease off when they're in the middle of serious moments while Chat continues to be goofy to lighten the mood, which irritates her and is something they should both probably work on).

I've seen a lot of discussion about whether this whole weather girl competition was rigged or not. The evidence used tends to be that Mirielle winning by half a million votes is actually bonkers and highly unlikely, and that there only seems to be merch for her and none for Aurore. While it's a fine theory, I'm not sure that second point holds water. All the Mirielle balloons and banners we see are being sold after the competition, and there are figures of Aurore around too, so it's plenty likely they just kept Aurore's merch boxed up. Also, both their faces are on this bus that she throws at the heroes:

In general, we gotta talk about how Aurore is an akuma who's fighting skills and murderous rage go really hard for someone who's supposedly just an average teen. Like, I think this is worse than the general upgrade in bloodthirstiness that comes from akumatization. It makes me wonder about what kind of issues she has in her personal life. Because even if she is just generally kind of angry and violent and there's no other reason, that's gotta make her a pain to be around.

Welcome to my personal hell where I attempt to figure out the timeline of these episodes! Stormy says that she's giving the summer forecast and canceling summer vacation in this episode, which implies to me that it's towards the end of the school year. But if we're to believe that all the episodes take place within a single year (which I've heard is canon but that I have no source for), then that can't be right because other important stuff happens after this. And it can't be during the summer vacation before the school year because it has to take place after Origins. I'm gonna go ahead and do as most of the fandom does and call BS on the "this all happens in one school year" thing. French school starts in September and ends in June or July, so I'm gonna say this episode happens sometime in May, which means it chronologically takes place after both the Bubbler and Mr. Pigeon. I'm also going to guess that Mr. Pigeon takes place after the Bubbler.

By the way, shoutout to these poor firemen who keep valiantly attempting to cut Alya and Manon free from their ice cube! I like when the civilians aren't just useless targets to get hit by the akuma and are actually attempting to help and keep themselves and everyone around them safe.

EEEEEWWW why is his voice clip for using cataclysm different in this episode? I mean, it's probably the same in French, but my guess is that they redubbed the English clip after this episode, because it sounds like he was going to say another word here and then got cut off (also he just sounds better in French anyway).

Chat Noir is so cool you guys. This is what I meant when I said that Marinette tends to struggle with the physical side of heroism in a way that Adrien doesn't, because he is more physically inclined than she is. Chat is capable of effortlessly dodging around all of Stormy's rapid-fire shots and doing complex acrobatics to cataclysm the billboard. It's just extremely impressive. This rewatch is making me remember how much I love most of the fight scenes! They're just so cool!

Here we see an extremely rare instance of Tikki encouraging Marinette to shirk her responsibilities in exchange for fun! She says Mari has totally earned the treat after saving the whole city, which I think is at odds with later seasons Tikki who tends to big on personal suffering for the greater good. Gonna have to see if this is a one-off, a case of seasonal change in character, or if I'm misremembering the later seasons.

That photographer is absolutely correct in adding Manon to the scene. I would be absolutely cooing over a magazine cover that had a teen model posing with an adorable little girl. I would not give a darn if it was a teenage model with a teenage girl. Sorry Marinette, the professional knows his stuff.