#when this first all went down i'd gotten my hopes up thinking maybe they'd actually look into it

[cinderella-ish]

(heads up, this post mentions death and suicide)

I started writing Bloom Within Us about 8 or 9 months ago, almost a year after losing a grandparent, as one way to deal with my grief from that loss. I hadn't written any fiction at all since high school, and I'd never written a story of more than ten pages (double-spaced), so it was very much a surprise to me that, despite being only about 2/3 complete, Bloom Within Us sits at over 220k words and nearly 600 pages. Writing it has led me down a rabbit hole, learning about the craft of fiction writing, and I'm so touched to hear it's resonated with readers. When I started, I truly thought I'd be lucky to get even one reader.

Though Bloom Within Us is based on a tragic premise (what if Tohru died after falling from the cliff?), it's meant to be a hopeful story. Kyo has faced traumatic loss after traumatic loss; would he really be able to survive losing Tohru after he told her about her mother?

I think the answer is maybe. He'd be devastated, for sure, and I don't think he'd be okay for a long while. However, even though it would be incredibly painful, this would be the first time in his life where he'd be mourning as part of a community. He'd have people there to support him, to grieve alongside him, and to tell him it's not his fault.

Kazuma was all but a stranger when Kyo's mother died, and he never knew what caused Kyo to lose all hope when Kyoko died. Kyo had no one who really understood, though Kazuma certainly tried, and probably saved Kyo's life in both instances.

But I imagine, if Kyo were able to mourn Tohru properly, alongside his cousins and friends and adoptive father, he might be okay one day. Maybe there's a way (or multiple ways) things could align that would allow him to move forward, and that's the path I've tried to take in my story.

In a lot of ways, writing about dark or tragic subjects is my way of trying to find (or create) hope. Things can feel unbearable, but they won't always feel that way. And while they do, you don't have to feel that way by yourself. There's always someone who can understand at least some of what you're experiencing.

For Kyo, whose arc really revolved around him choosing to live (both figuratively and literally), I think it would be really powerful to see that even after losing Tohru, he could one day be okay, and maybe even have a life he loves.

So, in many ways, I hope Bloom Within Us comes across as having an anti-su*cide message. That is my intent, along with the other ideas I'm trying to explore, such as the universal nature of loss, or the importance of having community during challenging times.

When I learned that a younger cousin of mine ended their life this weekend, it brought up a lot of feelings. I wasn't particularly close with this cousin. I wasn't "not close," either; they just tended to keep a distance, and I was anxious that I'd come on too strong, so I let them remain at a distance.

Hearing now about the things that felt insurmountable to my cousin, I wish we'd been able to connect. They'd felt insurmountable to me, too, at that age, but I made it through to the other side. And I know so many people who went through a crisis in their late 20s only to emerge from that crisis with a better understanding of themselves, and a life they actually want. Life can and does get better, for so many of us. I think it would've gotten better for my cousin, too, if they were still here. I wish they'd been able to hang on at least until they could see that, too.

I don't know yet if I'll need a break from writing, especially writing a story that deals with grief and suicide. I don't know if I'll need a break from fandom or social media. Right now, I've been going about everything more or less as usual, and that's been working for me, but that could change. I am okay, and I know I'll be okay, even though I'll be sad for a while. I have a good support network and I'm in a good place despite everything. If I disappear for a bit, it's because I'm relying on my IRL support network. ❤️

[casspurrjoybell-24]

My Mate - Chapter 5 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

Fidgeting with my fingers nervously, I looked up again from where I stood by the front entrance of the movie theater.

I've been here for a good fifty minutes waiting.

I could use the excuse that it's because I got here early, that's what I've been telling myself.

Every second that went by and there was still no sign of him felt like torture.

After finally getting the nerve, I had texted Jasper like he said to.

We both agreed on seeing a movie and had planned to come Saturday evening.

Stupidly, I had forgotten my cell-phone at home in my excitement.

The line buying tickets had disappeared as they all gathered inside and now it was only me and the human teenager selling the tickets.

He kept glancing at me and it only made me feel worse.

The romantic comedy Jasper wanted to see was about to start and I knew we weren't going to get any good seats.

I even went ahead and bought the tickets.

Hugging myself against the cold, I kicked at the sidewalk wondering if I should just walk home.

Were people usually this late for things?

I always thought it was best to be early.

Mom had dropped me off, kissing my cheek for everyone to see before shooing me out of the car.

She was excited that I was going out with a friend.

It was a first for me.

This morning at work I had talked Jade's ears off about my plans for the night.

She had even been kind enough to help me out with what I should wear.

Apparently slacks and a button down were too formal and she guided me to wear something more casual.

I hoped Jasper would like the forest green sweater and dark blue jeans.

Mom said I looked adorable.

But she's my mom and that doesn't really count.

Looking up at the clock in the ticket booth, I sighed.

It's been an hour and we've already missed twenty minutes of the movie.

The boy behind the glass offered me a sad smile before turning away.

Determined not to give up, I pushed any bad thoughts to the back of my mind and waited.

Maybe something happened?

I hope he's okay, I wouldn't want him to be hurt or anything to have happened with his family.

Surely the Alpha family was okay.

The whole pack would know if they weren't.

An hour turned into two and before I knew it, crowds spilled out of the theater talking happily about the movies they'd seen.

Maybe he got the times mixed up and thought we were seeing a later showing.

Deciding that must be it, I stayed another thirty minutes before I finally accepted that he wasn't coming.

Tossing the two movie tickets in the trash, I stuffed my hands in my coat pockets and walked down the sidewalk to the diner I had planned to go with Jasper after the movie.

I didn't think I'd be going alone.

It was popular amongst the high schoolers to hang out here and I wasn't surprised to see groups of them at some of the booths.

"Sit yourself and I'll be right with you hun," the waitress said with a smile, walking by me with a tray of drinks.

I got myself comfortable at one of the empty booths by the window and rested my head on the red vinyl table.

"Are we waiting for someone?"

I looked up at the smiling waitress as she placed a flimsy menu in front of me. I shook my head with a sigh.

"What can I get you to drink?"

I looked over the menu quickly and pointed at the chocolate milkshake.

"I'll be right back with that for you."

I didn't pay much attention to her, unable to look her in the eyes.

Everything had been going so well recently.

I had thought maybe things had finally gotten better for me.

I mean, I was still clumsy and fell a lot or accidentally got hurt but people were actually talking to me.

I had made my parents happy.

I even had a job now and I enjoyed it.

Was it really such a bad thing just to hang out with me?

The waitress got back with my milkshake and I ordered a BLT with onion rings.

I was absentmindedly sipping my sweet drink and staring out the window when I spotted Jasper walking to the diner.

A smile stretched across my face as my mood instantly lifted.

I knew he'd come.

He must of just gotten held back by something really important.

Jasper isn't like everyone else.

He's sweet and caring and considerate.

The little bell on the door rung as he entered and I tugged at my sweater to make sure it looked decent.

Sitting up straight, I admired his regular preppy attire.

The waitress sat my plate of food in front of me, as I watched Jasper walk past without a glance in my direction and greeted a group of kids from school.

My heart fell at the realization that he wasn't here for me.

He had no intention of meeting up with me.

He was just like everyone else.

He was no better.

I'm just the pack runt, a nobody.

I sat there for twenty minutes, barely touching my food and listening to Jasper's laughter.

I felt humiliated.

Was this planned?

Why would Jasper do anything like this?

He's always been so sweet.

He helped me when I went into heat the first time.

He always said hi to me when everyone else pretended I wasn't there.

I thought he was different.

Was I wrong about him?

Eventually I spotted my Mom pull up outside like planned and I stood up, placing the money on the table.

Looking at the untouched milkshake I had ordered after finishing the first, I picked it up.

No one even noticed me, not until I was standing in front of the booth filled with kids from school.

Determined and very upset, I threw the cup's cold contents onto the front of Jasper's shirt.

Mom smiled at me eagerly when I opened the door.

"So how was it? Did you have fun? How was the movie?" she rambled out question after question.

"It was fun," I lied, going back to my routine of pretending.

"I wish I had more popcorn."

[storylocke]

Alolan Dusk 7

[Burnet listens carefully as Roark tells her about his encounter with the terrible Beast. They'd heard him talk about it before, but he always had a sort of fondness for the excitement and danger they were able to overcome. Rescuing Lillie, which turned into rescuing Lusamine, then rescuing Nebby. Each time with higher and higher stakes until the worlds were saved. No wonder he became the strongest, most dependable Trainer in the region! But this time, the recount holds a different tone. Just Roark, without the rest of the children there to chime in, and a deep sadness as the tale paved the way to tragedy. Burnet had always worried about him before, but how it must have broken him to be so helpless after being the one to fix everything for so long. He was there with Hau the day of the attack, and had never been able to say what happened to anyone. Had Necrozma some sort of power to make people forget? Or had Roark's mind shut out the memory of it? Burnet was brought out of these passing fancies and came back to the conversation with surprise at Roark's new addition to the tale.]

Roark:

When I was on my way to the Pokemon League, I found Necrozma again all crumpled up in a crater where I guess it had landed. The poor thing was so broken. So, I… I took it in, and tried to nurse it back to health.

Burnet:

You mean it came back to Alola? As early as that? [She had heard of such massive creatures living in the void, entire worlds or cities where these interdimensional beings had become gods of their homeland, and to think there was one right in their own backyard all this time!] Why didn't you tell anyone? 

Roark:

I didn't want it to land in the wrong hands. 'Cause, like, I know it belonged in Ultra Megalopolis, but the reason it's so broken in the first place is because the people there tied it down and used it for a power source. I couldn't send it back to a life like that... And I thought, well, the Aether Foundation probably knows the most about it, so they could take care of it! ...But Lusamine started this whole mess because she said it needed to be destroyed. [Shifts uneasily] I thought if I gave it to them when it's so weak, they might actually do it this time. [Sinks down] After all this, I almost wish we had… [His voice breaks as he mentally scolds himself. What a terrible thing to say!] It's not really a bad Beast though. At first, it was doing okay. Maybe even happy with me as it got better and stronger. It's just, Necrozma is in so much pain. So. Much. Pain. Once the energy it had gathered from our time with the Voices had started to run out, I didn't know what to do. I thought I could take it to another world, or ask the URS, but… I guess Necrozma had other plans.

[Roark sinks even further, almost ashamed at his naivety as he had to tell her. Someone has to finally hear the truth.] 

Roark:

I went to treat it one day, but it was gone. I wasn't sure when, or why, but I hoped that maybe it had gotten better and it didn't need me anymore. [Scoffs] But even in the best circumstances, I knew we were in trouble if it was gone. At first my biggest worry was that it might try to go after Lillie. Or worse, with its power over the Ultra Wormholes, those Rainbow Rocket guys would be back. But… I never imagined Necrozma was capable of stuff like this… I thought it was my friend… [Slams a fist on the cushion next to him in frustration.] I feel so stupid! 

Burnet:

You're not stupid. It just sounds like you were overwhelmed by something so much bigger than you. Or any of us. I can't believe you've been holding onto this all this time when-

Roark:

What could I say?! Knowing what happened doesn't change anything! It can't fix the Shadows! It won't make Mallow or Lana or Kukui magically reappear! It won't bring my mom back! And then I'd have everyone mad at ME when I can't do anything! [Bitterly as he gets up from the couch and goes to the window, glaring out at the city below.] If I ever see that monster again, I'll… I'll… [He grips the window sill, his body shaking as he closes his eyes. He takes off his glasses and tries to wipe at them with the palm of his hand. Hearing voices is nothing new, but the pounding pressure inside his head is enough to make him pass out.] Guys… please. Not right now…

“Stay back. You’ve upset him enough.”

Burnet:

[Had gotten up to comfort him, but the new voice suddenly catches her off guard. She stops to look around for where it had come from.] Roark? Did you hear that? [The young man doesn’t move, giving her the impression it had all been in her head.] 

[There comes a twisted sort of scream from below and Burnet's heart skips a beat to think of the Shadows being so close. Given their aggressive nature, she could only imagine a pair of them had met on the empty streets. Roark still hasn't stirred.]

Burnet:

Roark…? [Goes over to him and takes him by the shoulders. He had every reason to be upset, especially in the last few days, but talk like that always seemed to draw trouble. Tries to sound more upbeat to persuade him.] Hey. Maybe we can come back after we help with the evacuation, hm? Could take a while, but you know Lillie and Gladion really need our help right now. And once we all get together in person, maybe we can come up with a plan for finding Necrozma- 

Roark:

[Softly] More fools and their "plans"...

Burnet:

Huh? [She lets go of him, shaken by the suddenly darkened tone but she's also curious what's holding his attention so much outside. A closer look into the night and she can see a man on the street, his walk slightly crouched as though on the prowl for a fight. She feels she knows that stance, she recognized that distant holler.] I-it can't be… Is that Kukui? 

[Stepping into the light of the street lamp below, it's unmistakable. His hair disheveled and his coat somewhat tattered, but it's him. Kukui stares pointedly up at the pair in the window with hollow eyes and lets out a war cry to pierce the otherwise stillness.]

Roark:

[With a bit of a hiss] Not for long. [He looks back at her and feigns to correct himself with his normal tone] Not anymore. I’ll take care of him. Go to your room and lock the door. 

Burnet:

But you-!

Roark:

No coincidence he’s here. Such strong bonds, he must have come for you. Now go. [*Burnet stares at Roark  as his eyes seem to sparkle like gems behind his black thick rimmed glasses. She gives a frightened nod at the command, feeling she should listen, and doesn’t bother to question or even move before she watches him disappear from the room with unusual speed.*]

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: And with that, we're officially caught up to the prologue! This is where the original story ended, and I was just ready to be done with it, but with a bit of encouragement (and having already gone through the ENTIRETY of RUM due to writing the transcript for it) I really wanted to flesh out the connections between the two and cleaned up my original work. Anyone who read my previously uploaded chapters for The Light may have picked up on a few patterns to where this is going.

Archive

[thetreeturnedoff]

i cry every time i'm on my period and i have to shower with the lights off so i don't see my body and i'm terrified of eating anything cause i don't want my chest to get any bigger and i've contemplated suicide before because of my dysphoria and yet somehow my parents think it might be better for me to not let me transition

like, they think me starting on testosterone could give me cancer, as if i'm the first person to ever transition. and they said they'd talk to a doctor to find out if it's safe, but when i asked if they'd made the appointment they laughed and said they wanted to talk to a counselor?? for some reason??? before deciding if it'd even be worth it to go find info about all this but i don't think they've even looked at counselors yet despite it being a few weeks and i just. and they refuse to use my name and get pissy when they're corrected for using the wrong pronouns but somehow they still think they have the right to say they support me and "love their trans child"

[kittyking445]

Little Nightmares theories nd timeline dump <3 here y'all go

OKK SO!! First my personal timeline

For one I believe that the "girl in the yellow raincoat" (I'll just call her Raincoat) is the lady's daughter, nd I'd think very rebellious as she always kept her hair down, refused to wear a mask and wore a bright yellow raincoat a guest gave her when it was raining once. And unfortunately when she was feeling extra adventurous there just so happened to be a shipment of a hot air balloon that just came in

So Raincoat flew off in the balloon hoping to explore, but just crashed into The Mansion, a place the maw would usually get it's supplies from and where they'd send out supplies. The mansion is owned by a certain teacher that has to work away from home usually in the city, so she hired the Butler and the Craftsman to watch her daughter for her. Unfortunately she didn't know the fun hobbies her daughter got into either.

I also go by what is basically Canon that Six is the other little girl that takes the raincoat at the end. I still genuinely can't figure out how she loses it nd finds it again in the Pale City, I'm assuming maybe it could've gotten lost through the TVs? However she got it again, I wanna keep the VLN story bc it's important to later.

So ofc LN2 happens next, Six nd Mono go through the Hunters cabin nd then the Pale City, they kill a man or two, the usual/j, we get the big betrayal scene where Six drops Mono as they're both fleeing from the signal tower (which I'll talk Abt my theory why in a minute)

Nd THIS next part is why I wanted 2 keep the VLN story. The Lady's daughter had been missing 4 a few days now, the Lady was getting frantic, and then she hears that apparently her dear daughter was just found wandering around the Pale City, nd the Ferryman found her and he'll be returning her home. Everyones esthetic, her daughter is back, she'll just stay with uncle Roger until The Lady will b able to take her back up to her room again. But this isn't her daughter, this is Six, she just looks sm like her with the raincoat on. Six doesn't understand nor care at this point, so she still runs away from Roger and finds a nice little crawlspace to hide in. Then Six starts getting these dreams of the Lady, nc decides she'll go up to her herself

This is why Roger never actually hurts Six, when he catches her he most likely just takes her 2 bed. He and everyone else still just thinks this is the Lady's daughter being especially rebellious

Until she cuts off Rogers arms, and Lady is finally informed by the Butler who's body they found that fell off the cliff. Everyone then realizes this little girl isn't only a fake, but she's very dangerous. This is why next the Chefs nd even the Lady herself full on attack Six, they probably assume she killed the Lady's daughter herself.

Six still wins in the end though and defeats the Lady, killing her nd stealing her powers. Nd I have a theory 4 why exactly Six even did all this.

This theory is all mostly from my brother so credit to him, but we think that Six at the end of LN2 is not the same Six from at the start.

For one, Six has a lot of personality throughout the 2nd game. She jumps nd plays around, yells 4 Mono, and likes to act 4 herself (like her getting revenge on one of the bullies herself). But in the scenes after Mono saves her and in the first game, Six barely even emotes at all, and she has that consuming hunger throughout the first game. Me nd my brother think this is bc when Six was taken by the Thin Man, only her body was taken. Her soul was left behind- as "Shadow Six".

Not only does Shadow Six look a lot like the "glitches" we see near TVs throughout the game that seem 2 b lost souls of dead ppl, but she appears around Six specifically when she's eating something. We think Sixs soul was left behind, and when Mono went 2 save Six, all that was left was a husk with basic survival instincts, and wanting to feel whole again. She drops Mono bc she doesn't remember who he is and just wants to survive. Then when she sees the poster 4 the Maw, the one thing she thinks of is: food night b there, and food would make her feel less empty

Six isn't constantly hungry from, actually being hungry, but bc shes a husk who wants something like her soul back nd associates that w food. Its why we see Shadow Six appear every time Six eats, she's been following her body around hoping she could go back to normal but just has 2 watch herself succumb more nd more to this hunger untill she finally has 2 watch herself kill the Lady. This is also why Six gains the Lady's powers after killing her, she has no soul so the Lady's magic replaces it.

Okk idk what else 2 add 2 this these r all just my thoughts <3

[hello-mojo]

[Ok so the following is a story, (Rise Above This was was a working title) I was working on this completely on my own and I was quite excited about it. I actually had tried to plot out the progression and main plot points, and a few other notes for things I needed to look up and research to mesh the timelines a bit better. I hadn't gotten around to it though and now... well I don't know if I'll ever bring myself to write fanfiction anymore. I loved this story premise though and had such Hope's for it... ah well. The first chapter was completed but there was supposed to be so much more.. Frances having accidental magic and then getting sick and Healer Harry to save her... ah well. If you like the fic let me know, if you want to adopt it, comment.

Oh one other thing... not all the songs are actually nirvana songs, there's a pearl jam song used too but I was looking for songs in the right genre that seemed to work for the plot. It's all fair in fanfic right?

Anyhooty... I doubt I'll post the stories that were completed on my main profile as I orphaned them and they can still be viewedon archive just look up my old. Penname CagedNTorn.

For unfinished stuff I had oh let's see... 3 different charlie/Draco fics I was working on, one that was all but complete... I had a draco/spike crossover fic, plus there was the sailormooon/Harry Potter crossover... that was actually a Drarry fic too, there were a bunch of things that I'll likely never finish. So I'll post them by and by.

Do let me know if there's a better place to post the plot bunnies that are up for grabs.

Now I've blathered enough so here's the first chapter of Rise that can be adopted if someone is interested in finishing it.]

Rise Above This

Draco was backstage at the place he was playing that night.  He sat tuning his guitar wearing ripped jeans and a white long sleeve thermal t-shirt with thumb holes burnt in and also a mohair sweater he was particularly comfortable in.   Western Washington state was wet and cold pretty much all the time.  

This didn't really bother the English man though as England had similar weather.   He'd grown his hair out and had it cut shaggy and it hung in his eyes perpetually now but he didn't care.  It drove his mother nuts whenever she came to visit.  

Narcissa still hadn't quite gotten the hang of blending in with muggles but she was getting better.   She was sitting nearby chattering about her trip to France.   She was wearing faded bluejeans and a fitted corset top that she'd bought in paris.  She also had a posh cashmere sweater on where most of the kids were wearing flannel and converse sneakers, just like Draco. 

She had her long blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail.   Draco smiled at her as she nattered-on about wines and the latest runway fashions.  At least he still had her.  Pansy was floating around somewhere too, probably flirting with someone.   

"I just don't understand why you have to look so scruffy though darling.   You have such a lovely face!  Can't you at least comb your hair back?"  Narcissa was saying.   Draco rolled his eyes at her but gave her a shit-eating grin.  

"Because I like looking scruffy.  It pisses off the establishment.  Even if it didn't, I'd still do it.  Hiding myself away is comfortable."  Draco said, handing his guitar to a stagehand.  

"Besides, this grungy war refugee look suits him.  He's ridiculously hot."  Pansy stated with a grin as she sidled up to accompany Narcissa out front to watch the show.  Draco could already hear the crowd cheering as the lights went down.  Draco and the 2 other blokes, 1 squib and one muggleborn, all cast outs of the wizarding world lined up off stage.   They formed a circle and everyone put a hand in and they shook them, clapped and cried out their chant.    

"Music and ass, gas or grass.  We're here for a good time, not here for a long time.   Lets do this!"  Draco led the chant the guys all cheered and then took the stage.  Dave went first and started a drum beat, Krist was next and began the base-line.  Then Draco, carrying his electric guitar, went to the mic.  He never looked at the audience.   He wasn't here for them,  not really.  He was here for himself.   Because he had something to say.  Even if no one really understood him or interpreted his messages clearly.  

"Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As an old enemy

Take your time, hurry up

Choice is yours, don't be late

Take a rest as a friend

As an old memoria."   

He strummed the chords and sang the song not really looking at anyone.  He was trying quite unsuccessfully not to think about a certain messy haired brunette.   

After the war he'd had every single door slammed in his face.  Even the most menial of jobs wouldn't hire him.  Potter had kept his word and put in a good word for him and his mother but the blonde on stage really didn't know why he'd bothered.   No one in the Wizarding world wanted him or any other Slytherin around.   Dave was a muggleborn Slytherin in the year below Draco and had also been chased out.  

"Take your time, hurry up

Choice is yours, don't be late

Take a rest as a friend

As an old memory."  

It was hard not to think of Potter when he sang this song because it was about him, at least mostly.  There was always a thinly veiled anti establishment opinion mixed in. The fans loved it though and he didn't really mind.  It’s not like Harry would ever show up and hear it.  He was too busy still saving the world,  having babies and whatever else it was that heros did.  Not Draco.  His long shaggy hair hung in his face as he sang the chorus, and shook his head.  Just one word.  Memory.   His best and worst thing.  His respite and the source of his nightmares.  

He finished off the song and they hit a heavy chord progression into the next song.  

"Load up on guns, bring your friends

It's fun to lose and to pretend

She's over bored and self assured

Oh no, I know a dirty word"  

The kids surged forward jumping up and down and shaking their heads as they raised their fists in the air and sang along.  

Draco had worked with Dave to put his thoughts on the war into muggle terms.  He thought they'd done pretty good honestly.  Even if they hadn't,  the teenagers in Seattle and California couldn't get enough.   He screamed the chorus and the kids screamed it with him.  

"With the lights out, it's less dangerous

Here we are now, entertain us

I feel stupid and contagious

Here we are now, entertain us

A mulatto

An albino

A mosquito

My libido

Yeah, hey, yay"  

Five years ago Draco had left the wizarding world and his mother behind.  Narcissa was more than able to take care of herself.   Draco wasn't concerned about her in that respect.   His father had been a lot of things but stupid had never been one of them.  Misguided certainly,  but not stupid.   

Luscious had moved money around in various accounts all over the world.  He'd taken Draco with him on nearly all of his business trips.  Draco had had many private tutors growing up and could speak French, English, Russian and German fluently.  He could read in several languages.  His father had insisted.  Draco learned to balance a ledger when most kids were learning to ride a bicycle.   

When the ministry had seized their accounts in Gringotts,  they hadn't even seized a tenth of the true fortune.   Draco hadn't needed to work.  He'd wanted to.  However no one would let him.  So he'd packed a duffle bag of casual clothes,  taken his muggle id and cards and left for America.  He'd covered his accent fairly well he thought, and if he came off sounding like a stoned southerner at times… no one pointed it out.  

He met Dave hanging around kings cross station panhandling.   The two 18 year olds decided to strike out together.   Draco and Dave were sitting together at some boardwalk in Seattle, Washington when Draco flipped his skateboard and saw a kid playing guitar near-by.   He'd been hooked from the first chord.  He'd bought them instruments and they taught themselves to play.  

"I think you'll all know this next one."  

Draco hit the distinctive chords and the kids in the audience squealed with delight.  This was more personal,  more singing than the growly screaming.   More about his feelings than anything else.   He hid in his hair not seeing anyone.   In his mind he tried to be back in that skatepark with scraped knees, just him and Dave.  

"What else should I be?

All apologies

What else should I say?

Everyone is gay

What else should I write?

I don't have the right

What else should I be?

All apologies."

He sang the words not looking at his mother, not caring about her reaction to that statement.   He'd forgotten she hadn’t heard this particular song before.   Well she had to find out sooner or later he supposed.   

"I wish I was like you

Easily amused

Find my nest of salt

Everything is my fault

I'll take all the blame

Aqua seafoam shame

Sunburn, freezer burn

Choking on the ashes of her enemy."  

Draco finished the song and the kids were crying out various songs they wanted to hear while cheering and clapping.  Draco loved it.  He lived for it.  They only had one more song to play.  It would end the show on a high note before the next band took the stage.  The next song he was about to play was about a lot of things.  Various parts of the war, Tom Riddles beginnings, the discrimination in the Wizarding world,  his own parents a bit.   In hindsight, Draco realized that he likely should have adjusted the set list a bit when he'd found out his mother was coming to the show.  'Too late to do anything about it now.' He thought to himself.   Maybe they'd finally have a real conversation for a change.  He set his guitar in a stand nearby and took a deep breath.  

"At home

Drawing pictures

Of mountain tops

With him on top

Lemon yellow sun

Arms raised in a V

And the dead lay in pools of maroon below."  

He shook his head, hiding in his hair and not seeing anyone.   Only Dave and Krist, only his guitar.   The kids screamed and jumped and sang along.  Draco thrashed around stage with them, just the microphone cord wrapped around his hand.  

"Daddy didn't give attention

Oh, to the fact that mommy didn't care

King Tommy the Wicked

Ruled his world

Tommy spoke in class today

Tommy spoke in class today" 

The guys backed him up intermittently on the chorus and the base thumped throughout the song, a steady heartbeat.  Draco couldn’t let himself worry about hurting his mother's feelings.   He sang what he needed to say.  He knew nothing was ever simple.  There were at least two sides to every story and a variety of contributing factors.   

"Clearly I remember

Pickin' on the boy

Seemed a harmless little fuck

But we unleashed a snake

Gnashed his teeth

And bit the recess lady's breast."

Draco knew the words painted a vivid picture.   He didn't care.   Maybe people would learn that bullying others for shit beyond their control was stupid and had far reaching consequences.   There were certainly a few chapters in his story that he'd like to rewrite.   

"How could I forget

And he hit me with a surprise left

My jaw left hurting

Dropped wide open

Just like the day

Oh, like the day I heard."  

There was no possible way he could make up for some of the shit he'd done.  He knew that.  He tried to just pass on the lessons.  Hoping that if he could even reach just one person,  it'd be worth it.  Exile in the muggle world.  They weren't so bad really.   Their fashions were quite fun, and much more functional than robes.  He missed making potions, doing magic.  It was a particular skill set that he was good at.  There was no place in the muggle world for magic.  He had to be even more careful now that they were getting really famous.   People were always watching him.  Hiding in the bushes, trying to sneak into his hotel room, everyone wanted pictures of him to sell to the press.  He couldn't risk anyone seeing him perform magic.  He did little things like casting stasis charms or heating up a hot beverage,  or casting a cooling charm on himself and the guy's.  He knew his mind was spiraling away from the uncomfortable conversation with his mother that he was anticipating after this.  

"Daddy didn't give affection, no!

And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear

King Tommy The Wicked

Ruled his world

Try to erase this (try to erase this)

From the blackboard." 

He knew his parents had loved him.  They had been very cold, and reserved in all things though.  His mother could be formidable when she wanted to be and his father was doting yet terrifying.   That was something about Tom Riddle's life that Draco had been able to understand.   Feeling alone, as if no one cared, no one understood you.  He knew how cruel kids could be,  because he had been the one leading the mockery in his day.  

He'd never once thought about what it might feel like on the other side of it.  Until he'd been on the receiving end of such mockery, ridicule and unfairness did he begin to re-think his actions as a snotty young man.  The crowd was going wild.  

Draco stood as the lights came up and he bowed with the guys.  They all smiled and waved to their fans.   Off stage, he saw his mother standing with Pansy.  Narcissa looked a mixture of hurt, worried and angry.  A reporter from MTV was there, shoving a microphone in his face.  Draco smiled his small smile,  just a turning up of the corners of his mouth really.   He answered all of the questions asked in a rare and rather lengthy interview,  glad for the temporary reprieve from his mother for the moment.   

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a familiar set of green eyes and messy black hair, accompanied by none other than Hermione Granger and a regular. Analese Taylor was no stranger to Draco. She had been a fan since the band's boardwalk skate park days. Now that they were famous, she was their number one fan. The way Granger was clutching her arms, the strong resemblance between the two women, Draco could slap himself for not realizing what was so familiar about the girl. She had to be related to Granger, no other explanation.

Before he could really panic about the three familiar faces another familiar set of arms was thrown around his knees and a very delighted

"Daddy!" Rang through the room as his daughter Frances threw her arms around him. Draco glanced around for his soon to be ex wife. He spotted her nearby with arms crossed, looking furious. He sighed deeply as he scooped his daughter into his arms. The child was his whole world outside of his music. Draco glanced back towards Potter and Granger as his wife stormed over as the press and other onlookers were cleared out by Pansy.

[kingscrown666]

I need some help, guys.

I'm very sorry to have to ask this, and I hoped I never would because I hate to bother people, but I need help

So, here's the thing. Me, my mom, and my aunt had been living in my grandparent's house, here in Michigan. But over the summer, they decided to sell the house since they were only there a few months out of the year

Well, that meant that the three of us had to find another place to live. My aunt found a place she could afford, and it had spare bedrooms, but she wanted to give those to her daughter and grandkids because they'd been separated and she wanted them to all be together again.

So me and my mom had to find somewhere else to live, and the only place we could afford was government housing where the rent is based off of your income. Currently our rent only $14/mo because our income was so low

But that's not what I need help with.

When we first inquired about housing, we asked about their pet policy and they said dogs were allowed as long as they were 80lbs or less. Well, when we came to sign the lease, they suddenly said that no, the weight limit is 20lbs! And my boy weighs a lot more than that. And I had literally no other choices for housing, so I had to give my dog up. It was either live here without my dog, or be homeless with him

So I gave him up. I had to send him back to the place where I'd gotten him in the first place. And I really really did not want him to go back there, but once again, I had no choice. I looked and looked for someone else to take him until I got a job and could get a place of my own, but everybody either couldn't or wouldn't take him

I didn't want him to go back to where I'd gotten him because he was in very poor condition when I got him. He was super skinny, he had bald patches in his fur, his tail was bleeding (it's slightly crooked now, but working properly) and he was very skidish and withdrawn. In the months that I had him he had a complete turnaround. He'd gained a healthy amount of weight, his fur grew back, he healed up, he'd come out if his shell and was playing and I discovered an actual personality in him and he was playing and happy

But now he's right back where he was and he's losing weight again and he's being kept outside again and it's getting cold. I've spoken with the man who has him and he insists that's he feeding my dog every day but

This doesn't look like the midriff of a dog who's being fed everyday. And he's filthy

I went to visit him today, and this was my hand after just a few minutes of petting him

And his water was even worse

When I first got him it was very cold outside. We had a high of -5°F that day, and that night it got down to -13°F

I'm afraid he will still be out there by the time winter sets in again. I don't want that

He was so sad when I left. He was barking and whimpering as I walked away.

You can barely see him all the way back there.

I wish I can take my dog back but I have nowhere to take him. If I bring him back here, to where I'm living now, we would be evicted.

Again, I've spoken with the man who is taking care of him, and he assures me that he's doing the best he can for Jack. And, honestly, I believe him. It's just that his best really isn't good enough. At least not to my standards. He's a really great guy and he does what he can, but he's struggling too

The day I dropped him off I cried more more than I have in years. I didn't even cry that much when I broke my fingers when I was in kindergarten. But Jack is my baby and I love him so much and I need him back, and he needs me!

And here's where I need help. I need to get a place, and soon. Before winter comes again. Once I get a place I can get Jack back again so I can take care of him properly.

The guy had other dogs when I got Jack, one of them died outside in the cold and snow shortly after I got Jack. So I'm really afraid for my dog's life.

And I finally got job (I just started last Tuesday), so I'll be able to take care of him and myself once I start getting regular checks.

I'd been unemployed since December of last year when my temp job ended. It's hard to find a job I can actually do because I crashed my car back in 2009 and injured my back and leg. But luckily I finally found something permanent that's not too strenuous, and the pay's not terrible either

I just need enough to get a place that accepts large dogs and then I can take it from there with the income from my new job

I only need help to get a place as soon as possible so that Jack doesn't freeze, and it's going to take a while to save up enough money to pay for the first months rent, deposit, and pet deposit. And I only worked ~14 hours the first week (I was just training) so my first check is going to be pretty paltry. And time is most definitely an issue. It's October. It's already getting colder.

Please guys. Any amount helps.

My PayPal link is here (message me if it doesn't work. I've never received money through PayPal before, so I'm not exactly sure how this works)

Even if you can't help, please reblog this so others can see it, or maybe tag someone you think can help

I just want my dog back.

(I know this was a really long post, so if you're still here, thank you so much for your time and patience. My thought were a bit scattered, but I organized them as best I could here. So again, thank you)

[dixonious]

arrowheads | a twd fanfic

Summary: Y/N and Sophia have breakfast, while doing so Y/N askes about Sophia's aloneness when she found her.

Warning: some language and possible grammatical errors.

ONWARD AND YONWARD!!

_______________________________________________

Chapter [4]: Burning Squirrels and Talking Shop

Narrator's POV.

To Y/N's suprise, no danger had found them that night. It was quiet, other than the crickets and cicadas that hummed in the darkness.

It was deemed "safe" for that night, yeah, but Y/N wouldn't want to try her luck being under tree than in one again.

Now, just a couple of hours before the sun rose, Y/N watched as the little blonde started to stir in her spot against the tree. She was only sitting a few feet away from her as she figure it'd be nice for the little girl to wake up to breakfast. Squirrel.

"Mhn." A quiet groan escaped Sophia's lips. Her eyes shot open, and she began to look around frantically.

Y/N quickly took action, "hey, hey." Y/N said rushed over towards Sophia, putting her knife she used to poke at the squirrel in it's holster. "It's alright, you're alright." She said once she reached Sophia, trying to make eye contact with the girl as her eyes bounced all over the place.

Finally catching the girl's eyes, Y/N nodded at her in reassurance. "You're okay." Sophia nodded back, getting that she was okay.

Y/N smiled softly, "I'm making squirrel. Figured we could eat and talk about getting you back to whoever you were with, yeah."

Sophia stared at Y/N for q long minute before looking over her shoulder and pointing.

Y/N frowned and gave a head tilt before following Sophia's gaze, her jaw nearly hitting the ground as she caught sight of the problem.

Squirrels catching flame.

"Shit!" Y/N exclaimed as she rushed over to their meal. She quickly grabbed the shirt she had as an oven mitt and she picked up the stick that was holding the squirrels.

She held it up and blew as hard as she could at it.

For Sophia, this was pretty amusing. She sat straight up, letting the blanket fall from under her chin. She watched as her rescuer struggled to get the flame out.

Y/N continue to blow and blow, and eventually the flame distinguished.

"Phew!" Y/N let out a breathe of air. "I'd say this is just about perfectly done." She said with confidence. "Or. It's just about perfectly overcooked." Y/N let out a chuckled sigh,

"this is why I shouldn't be allowed to cooked." Y/N whispered to herself.

Y/N's head snapped over to where a giggled came from her left side, "so you think this is funny, huh?" The h/c archer said with amusement in her tone.

Sophia continued to giggled as she nodded her.

Y/N snorted, "yeah, yeah, laugh it up." She said as she put out the fire and placed the squirrels back onto the makeshift rack.

"Come on, we'll let these cool a bit and then we can eat up."

Sophia took herself and the blanket over to where Y/N sat, sitting crisscross applesause on the opposite side of her. And to Y/N's suprise, the little blonde spoke.

"Do you always burn your food?" Sophia asked, laughter in her voice, along with curiosity.

"Pfft! No. No way! I'mma good cook." Y/N denied.

Sophia raised an eyebrow at her.

"Okay, fine. I do. But not always. Just sometimes."

Sophia giggled again, and Y/N couldn't help but smile.

"Messing up food has nearly always been with me." Y/N explained as she twirled a twig into the dirt. "I can cook, I swear. I just, at times, forget about the food that I'm cooking and it may or may not burn."

"It does burn." Sophia said in laughter.

"Yeah." Y/N chuckled.

A couple of minutes passed. Those minutes spent in silence, and munching on their squirrels. Y/N took the more burnt one, while Sophia took the less burnt one. And honestly, to Y/N, her burnt squirrel wasn't that bad. She finished it up rather quickly with having barely ate the day before.

When she was done, she went into her pack and count the bottles of water that were there. Four. Four water bottles. The Georgia heat would make a person want to drown them all right then and there. But they'd have to make this work until she could find a new source of water.

Y/N reached and pulled out one, she screwed the cap off and drank a little less than half. She passed the rest to Sophia, who gratefully accepted it.

She finished up the rest of her squirrel and took to pretty small gulps of the water.

Sophia reached the bottle back out toward Y/N. "No, no. It's cool. You drink it." Y/N said.

Sophia looked reluctant to, but she took another swallow, reaching the bottle back to Y/N again.

"We should save it." She said softly.

"Kid, just drink it." Y/N said with a slight chuckle.

"Mhn-mhn." The little blonde shook her head.

The archer sigh, taking the bottle from the little girl. She screwed the cap back on and placed it back into her bag.

"Little Blue. The last time you saw your people or whoever. They were alive right?" Y/N asked as she closed her bag back up, hoping she would get an answer.

"Yes." Sophia responded.

"Okay. I wanna help you find 'em." I said, waiting for a response.

There was a long silence before she decided to reply, "I was with my mom. And a brunch of other people, friends. We were coming from this really big..doctor place."

"The CDC?" Y/N asked.

"Yeah, yeah that's it." Sophia exclaimed.

"Was that were y'all last were?"

"No." Sophia said sadly. "I think the doctor that was there..I think he was crazy. We wanted to leave but he locked us inside. I didn't really understand what was going on. There were a lot a big words used. But, I remember him saying something about the air going to set on fire."

Sophia watched as Y/N's face scrunched up in horror, "we all got out. Well, except our friend Jacqui. She didn't. I remember us running to the cars and we got down and the place exploded." The little girl said, sadness in her voice.

"We were on going somewhere else, but we got to this highway and cars blocked our way and a lot of the monsters came, we hid under the cars. I thought that they were all gone, but they weren't. I got up, and two of them chased me."

"That's how you got lost." Y/N said in understanding.

Sophia nodded, sadly as she looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry. And I'm sorry about your friend Jacqui, too." Y/N said sincerely.

"Me too." The little blonde whispered.

Y/N thought over everything that Sophia had just told her. She knew about the CDC. About how they were looking for a cure for all this shit. They. Yet there was just him? One doctor?

Maybe the others had died. But they should've been safe inside there, right? Y/N was pretty sure they were heavy on lock down. It was a facility after all.

That one doctor was still there and then he stayed even with knowing the place would blow. And so did that Jaqui lady. They knew what was going to happen. They knew their fate if they stayed.

There were times were Y/N just wanted to quit. To give up, even before all this. But, she could never actually see herself giving up. She was determined to stay alive, to beat this. Determined was practically Y/N's middle name.

"Do you know where the highway is, Sophia?" Y/N asked.

"No." She answered. "I just remember, mostly going straight towards it from the CDC. And that there were a lot of cars there."

Y/N frowned in thought. If this was the same highway that she was thinking of, then she knew were it was. Hell, she had gotten just about half of her supplies from there.

"I think I know where it is." Y/N said.

Sophia's head shot up immediately, "you do?" She asked.

"Yeah," Y/N said, surely. "I came across is it, a week or so ago. But, we're not that far from it." Y/N answered.

Sophia frowned in confusion.

"Yes, just about a week ago I was there. But I didn't exactly leave the area. It's only about less than a 2 day's walk." The archer explained. "Do you know how long were you out here before I found you, Sophia?"

The little girl looked up in wonder. "It got dark 2 times, so 2 days? I think." She said.

"Holy sh-crap." Y/N said, catching herself, Sophia smiled a bit.

"Sorry." Y/N chuckled, catching the girl's smile. "You've just been out here all by yourself for a long while."

"I stayed the first night in a small cabin in a closet."

Y/N frowned, "why didn't you stay there?"

"I heard a monster. I got scared and I ran."

Y/N nodded. That was understandable for someone her age and size.

"I'm gonna getcha back to your people, Kid. To your mom." Y/N said determinedly as she stood from her spot on the ground, she grabbed her bookbag from the ground, Sophia took this as sign of leaving so she reached the blanket she had wrapped around her out towards Y/N.

"We'll backtrack to where I found you. You think you can remember which way you came from there?" Y/N asked as she started to pack everything up.

"I think so." Sophia said in a tiny voice.

"Alright. It's no big, if you can't. I'm no pro, but I'm a pretty good tracker. If nothing messed up your path, we're good." Y/N stated.

"Okay." Said Sophia, as she reached for her doll and stood.

After packing everything up, and placing everything where it went on her, compound bow in hand, Y/N knelt down to Sophia's height.

"Listen, Little Blue. Those idiot living-nonliving things usually don't go to deep into the woods, but that doesn't mean they can't." Y/N explained carefully.

"If we come across them you gotta promise me you won't run. If you do, you might get lost again, and maybe I won't be able to find you. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. But you can't run. Okay?"

Sophia took in every word the woman had said to her. She understood. But she wasn't sure if she could not run. But she'd try.

"Okay. I understand." She said, with just as much determination in her voice as Y/N had just moments ago.

"Good. So, let's do this." The archer said, as she stood full height, reaching her hand out to Sophia, who accepted with no hesitation.

Together, the two set out on their journey.

_______________________________________________

Boom! And that's the fourth chapter! I really like this one, I hope y'all do, too! :) let me know what you think?

The next chapter may be up in a few hours or tomorrow, so see ya then!

@coffeebooksandfandom, @checkintoreality, @wnygirl2012, @assassinsasha23, @catlya, & @aristocracy-y.

If anyone else wants a tag, just let me know!

[squid--inc--writes]

Inktober 2019 day 2: mindless. Art + story.

Update: Masterlist

Warning for gore, tell me if there's anything else to tag. Also, message me, or reblog this and and say tag me, if you want to be able to read my Inktober stories, and see my art.

The day they came, the strange folk, was the day everything changed. Of course, cliche as that is, and, frankly, obvious in that anything new will make change happen. But that doesn't matter.

It started with a family of five, all seemed normal enough, a nuclear family model, really. They made friends, had parties, all that suburban crap. 

However, they always seemed off. Maybe it was the way how, when asked a question, or presented with a decision, it was always a blink, then an answer. Never more, never less. I brought it up to other people, my parents, my friends, anyone. No one seemed to think anything of it. Which is fair, I guess. It's inconsequential, right?

However, one day, that family of five turned into a family of four. I asked what happened to their baby. I know my friend Cami would babysit for them when they were away, and she'd gush about how they were. They said they only had their two sweet babies here, and gestured to their kids playing in the pool with some other kids.

I knew Cami was upset the first time she came back home, wondering what could have possibly happened. But after a party two days later, she didn't even seem to remember the third kid. Like it never happened.

About four days after, I could tell something was wrong. See, a few of the neighbours started acting like them. They'd wait a blink to answer, always cheerful, but never unique. People stopped mowing their lawn, too. Stopped caring.

Only three families left not falling into the trap. The klines two houses down, the Smiths across the street, and us. 

I couldn't parse what we had in common. The Smiths and my family were having plumbing issues, so we couldn't use water. I thought, maybe that's it. But the Klines always have perfect plumbing, so that couldn't be it.

It wasn't until we started seeing the state of the street that my family believed me. Among grass, and litter, there were clumps of hair on the ground. Hair and… other debris. And the smell, God the smell. Something smelled rotten, and fermented. I could barely go outside anymore. When I did, I'd have to cover my face with a cloth doused in my mother's perfume.

Luckily, we didn't go outside much anymore. No one threw parties anymore. In fact, I don't think most people came outside anymore.

When our pipes finally got fixed, that was when I knew we fucked up. I got up in the middle of the night, woken up by loud noises. I followed them down to the basement, hiding at the top of the stairs, behind the door. I opened the door just a little, and looked through. There was mom, holding my unconscious sister. Dad was holding a tool I didn't recognize. It became quickly apparent what it was, as it sliced through her skin, expertly flaying it from the muscle below. It peeled away, like an orange. Hair falling out in clumps. She didn't even wake up. I don't know if that's good or bad. I hope she wasn't awake at least.

Dad set down the… the thing. And he walked to the sink next to the laundry machine. That's when the stench hit me. Once he turned on the tap, something disgusting, the same as outside, only ten times more concentrated came out. The water looked fine, though. He took a long swig of water, then turned, and handed to my mother.

 She stood, and said, "I'll go get Joanna."

With that, I didn't bother shutting the door. I just slunk away, as fast as possible, far away from the stairs. I know she hesitated, noticing the door was slightly open. They had to know. So I got out the back door, didn't bother closing it, and ran. Didn't go around front, I risked walking through the backyard behind us. Brandy Jefferson lived there. Or she used to. 

I snuck through, trying not to trip anything, when I wound up kicking something sticky, and soft. It blew up around my foot, I slid, slamming my back on the ground, and lay there in silent pain.

I looked at the mess, now staining me. Dark, viscous, and mushy below me. I thanked whoever I could when I looked, and saw that it was a very old pumpkin. Very, very old. And, hilariously, smelled better than the air around me.

I crawled my way up to my feet, and once again thanked whatever entity saw it fit to make my escape a little easier. The grass, which grew unnaturally tall, over my head, and the fence between our yards, his my escape, from my mother, who was now calling out for me.

I moved as silently as possible, making my way around the yard, and coming it to the side of the street. My decision to stay in the grass was probably the only thing that kept me from getting grabbed.

Walking before me, I saw the street filled to bursting with disgusting, pale, almost translucent skinned beings. They all also had thick dark lines around their eyes, almost like veins, but like a new system was trying to work its way through the body, rather than accept the old routes. The smell was more pungent here, than before.

I have to cover my mouth and nose, and I feel my eyes watering.

Making my way past the parade of sickness, I weave my way through yards until I wind up across from the Klines. I glance down to where the Smiths should be, and notice that their lawn has been overgrown, despite it being nice and neat only a few days earlier. I peak around and see, despite having been immaculate not ten minutes ago, my home is overgrown as well. The only clean yard is the Klines. However, in order to make it there, I'd have to get across the street, then their yard, and pray that they would let me in. And that they were fine too. All without being seen. 

I can still hear my name being called, but it's getting further, and further away. Hopefully. So, I brace myself, take in as much air as I can without gagging, and I bolt across the street.

Someone had to have seen me in the house, because the door opens, and I sprinted in, not stopping, and slam in the wall a short distance from the entrance. The door slams shut behind me, and I feel a large, sharp object pointed at me. Mrs. Kline is staring down at me, eyeing me.

She says, "You alright?"

I stare at her, eyes wide, before I start just sobbing. I'm not really sure if it was from terror, exhaustion, or what, but I just sob.

I distantly hear a lock, and Mrs. Kline yells "Bill, get some blankets and the first aid kit."

Sitting up, I look and see the Kline kids. I never actually learned their names, cause they were homeschooled and only went outside on rare occasions. I feel bad about never saying hi.

Once they look me over, I learn their names. Bill Kline, the father, Angela Kline, the mother, and their, turns out three kids, are Betty and Beatrice, identical twins, and Carlisle, the eldest daughter.

I wind up moving in with them, discovering that they have an underground farm, essentially. It's a good thing the HOA isn't around anymore. The amount of readjusted pipes, or purification system thrown in. Even their own electric supply. It seems almost too good to be true.

Which is why I, stupidly, stopped trusting them. Which is why I, in the dead of night, left the house, and, with no key, did not lock it.

Which is why I was the death of the Klines. They could have been evil, they could have been good, but I never gave them a chance to prove it. Although, they already did so much for me.

So, on that night, I checked the street, closed the door, and snuck into another yard, having stolen a good amount of water and food. I thought I would be in the clear, but I should have known better.

I tried to leave the neighborhood, but it seemed to go on. Endless. What I finally realized was that, while it wasn't endless, it was being made to be. 

Buildings torn down to be made into houses. It got to a point where, although there were plenty of similarities, it was eerily different. Just enough, in just the right ways, that it was concerning.

I finally gave up on reaching the end. I knew I wouldn't be able to get past whoever was building it. How could I? Instead, I climbed a roof, in the dead of night, after days of walking, and tried to see anything.

At the center of the strange design being built with the houses, I saw it. The water processing plant. I could feel a bad idea rising.

Making my way there, sleeping in the grass during the day, and walking, walking, walking during the night. I still saw them, but none of them veered off course.

They would flood the streets after sunrise, and be gone before the afternoon. They would then return before sunset, and stay in their homes. the lawns weren't as safe as I'd like, but they'd have to do.

However, as time progressed, and I ran out of food, I could have sworn the sky was changing. While the time of day would be easily clear to see, there was a rolling smog that began to fill the sky. It made everything darker, easier to hide, but harder to breathe.

When I finally got to the center, that smell that I had gotten so used to, increased tenfold; so thick that I could bite a chunk out of the air, if I wanted to puke.

Fueled by the thought that, perhaps, there will be a section where maybe I can get clean water. Maybe I didn't ruin my chance.

That thought changed however, when I saw the hanging bodies of the Klines. Not flayed like everyone else, no.

Solid, bloody. I couldn't tell how they were hung there, but I could see stretched skin behind each of them. Not wanting to look any longer, I shifted my gaze. There, in the center of the pool, was a small bundle of sludge, pulsating, and whining.

I stepped forward, pulled by an unseen force, and crouch by the side of the water. Well, it looked like it once was.once close enough, it screamed out, the sound of a baby having a temper tantrum, but louder. Always more than what it should be, I couldn't stand it.

Covering my ears, and clenching my eyes shut, I didn't feel the push, but I certainly felt the fall. Then I didn't feel anything. I didn't think anything. My mind uploaded somewhere else, as a freak experiment, and my body…

My body left mindless.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Weekend Fun

Clare: looked around the table. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask who Bren was but something about the way Kota's family was acting made her think she should just wait until Dakota was ready to tell her himself. Especially since even his mom didn't want to about him. She mentally did a head count trying to figure out if it was possible that Dakota had another brother. Clare thought she'd meet everyone but she realized now that includding Kota there were 'only' four brothers plus Kelly but Dakota had specifically said he had five sibilings and only one sister. When Clare had met everyone she'd assumed that he'd worded that badly and meant there were six kids in his family. "Good to know, I just won't go in there." Clare didn't plan to explore Dakota's house by herself anyway. She smiled at Stacy knowing if she'd made it this long without angering the Grandma's spirit, Clare would be just fine. Besides the Andersons didn't strike Clare as being super uptight about things like girls sleeping in the same beds as boys. As long as they weren't doing anything it was fine. Such a nice change. Clare often felt like she couldn't be herself around her family because they'd judge her for having so many friends who were boys. It was dumb, she wasn't going over to their houses to play kissing games or anything else they were so worried about. Why couldn't her parents just trust her? Clare was confused when she realized Dakota and his sibilings weren't talking about their Grandma being in their hearts and memories. Had they really divided up her ashes?! Clare wasn't going to ask. There were somethings she didn't need to know (she'd be spooked if she found out Kota kept his piece in his pocket somtimes, for example), and it might've been in her will. Clare didn't expect Emi to answer everything she asked her. It was a lot and Emi was only five. She just wasn't going to underestimate Emi and talk down to her. She had hated it when teenagers and adults did that to her. "Yeah! Like how some words in English start with a hard or soft C." She looked at the paper Emi wrote on. "The second symbol is the ee sound?" Clare checked to make sure she had it right. Clare wasn't sure if she would recognize it on a menu (so she'd know not to order it). Maybe if she tried to practice drawing the symbols at home for fun. They'd never look like Emi's. It was a beautiful language though and Clare was interested in learning what she could. "English is a lot easier than Japanese but we don't start learning how to write in cursive until third grade and then we're not allowed to turn in papers in print again until middle school. At least the symbols you can already draw are cool. Plus you get to learn more languages than the other kids around here." Clare comforted her. If she was here long enough, she'd be taking French in school and could chose Spanish as an elective too. "I'd rather play with a live octopus than eat it too." She admitted, smiling and laughing at Emi's story. "I hope we can get it fried. However, the California roll sounds delicious. I love avocados and I like crab too so imitation meat is fine by me." Clare smiled at Kota. "I can't wait to go to New York, it sounds like my kind of city." Her parents had promised a trip there. She just didn't know when. With the way things were going, she seriously doubted they'd all go as a family. It would probably be like the ski trip she took to Maine with Dad and Darcy while Mom stayed home. "Oh. Is Tokyo far from where you lived?" Clare kissed him softly in reply. She'd been oblivious. She thought Dakota had a girlfriend at another school and wanted to be the kind of friends who gave each other dating advice. Even when she'd found out he didn't, Clare just didn't think she'd be his type. Sometimes you got a second chance to be a first girlfriend and that was pretty special. Clare didn't see any reason why she couldn't consider Dakota her first real boyfriend if their trial period went well. K.C took her on all of one date, it hadn't been much of a relationship. She'd actually spent more time 'dating' Eli before realizing they'd rather stay friends. After they rode back to the Andersons, Clare got out of the van and waited on Dakota to get Emi. She went inside with them after it was decided that Bren wasn't there despite the light being on. "Okay. If Bren asks for it." Clare told Kota's mom hesitantly not sure what it meant when a mom gave you permission to hit a son you hadn't met yet. He must be a troublemaker since she'd sent Bren, and only Bren away to school, and he'd gotten expelled. No one seemed to like him. Up until now, Clare thought Dakota had a great relationship with all of his sibilings. To her they were all really lucky. Her much smaller family didn't have as much love to go around. This turn of events was surprising. She put the bag from the restaurant in the Anderson's icebox while Dakota was gone. After they'd walked to his room, Clare took off her shoes too. "Thank you. How cute, I love it." She said referring to the bathroom's sign. She raised her hand up to touch the sign, her fingers traced lightly over the writing before Clare went inside the bathroom carrying the bag Kelly had given her earlier. "I'll take purple." Clare said selecting a soft-bristled tooth brush. "Has this been approved by the American Dental Association?" She joked since they'd been talking about Home Alone at the restaurant. Soon as Dakota left, she took off everything except her panties and put on the grey pj pants and pink short sleeve shirt from Victoria's Secret. Clare stuffed her clothes in the bag and checked her reflection before leaving the bathroom. She got into the bed, wrapping herself in the blanket like they'd talked about so they could cuddle without it being super awkward. Clare looked at Dakota shyly and lay on her side facing him, she rested her head on his chest. "Is this okay? Are you comfortable?"

Kota: watched as Emi taught Clare about the symbols. "No, it makes the shi sound. There aren't any ee sounds in Japanese." she corrected. "Good night has six symbols." she said and started to write the symbols. "O-ya-su-mi-na-si." she said pointing to each symbol. "That's the thing Emi has trouble with." Kota pointed out. "She knows more languages and sometimes uses them." he added. "So do you." Emi whined. "That girl was lost." he stated. "Pero el telefono?" Emi asked looking at him. "Again, the person didn't know English. Were you listening in?" he asked her. "I tried to listen into your other conversation, but you were talking too fast." she said honestly. "That's because the other person was in New York and that's how fast they talk." he explained and listened to Clare talk to Emi, then smiled at Clare when she smiled at him. "They talk faster than Eminem raps in New York." Ash pointed out. "Only if they're in a hurry or if you're ordering food at certain places. Normally they talk as fast as Eminem raps." he explained. "We decided to go to New York without Kota, biggest mistake in our life." Dom complained. "No calling him while he was with grandpa was the bigger mistake." Ash added and Kota looked at them. "That's because you hung up on me when I answered my phone, then again when I tried calling back. You even hung up on grandpa." Kota stated. "That's because you answered in Spanish." Dom argued. "I was in freaking Spain. I thought you were a client, you called grandpa's phone. When I called back you told me 'English' then hung up the three times I tried calling." he stated. "But you hung up on us when we called your phone." Ash said. "Because I was busy and couldn't play your game." Kota said honestly. "Stop fighting." Emi stated and Kota sighed. "Lo siento." he said looking at her. "Esta bueno, pero no mas." she said sticking her tongue out at Ash and Dom. "No mas." he assured and with a smile and both Ash and Dom apologized as well. "It's only good if you can talk fast to understand and keep up with the New Yorkers. I mean we got invited by grandpa to the same places he took Kota, but we'd have to be there three days after they were since they were there on business for the first three days and the food they were eating seemed odd at the time so we didn't go." Dom stated. "Fried plantains are great." Kota said looking at them. "Should've accepted. We aren't going on business trips any time soon." he confirmed. "I have to take over MB and work on new products, we start selling them in America soon." he said honestly. He kissed Clare back as she asked Emi the question. "Well, we lived in part of Tokyo called Narita, Chiba Prefecture. It's over an hour to Tokyo City." she stated. When they were getting ready for bed, Kota listened to Clare say she was taking purple and nodded, then laughed a bit when she asked about the toothbrush knowing she was joking. Once she joined him in his bed and they were cuddling, he nodded. "Yea, I'm comfortable." he whispered and kissed her head before falling asleep.