#when u want to actually delve into the world that is

[proxythe]

I am very invested in the P3 x soul eater au even if I have not seen soul eater

unfortunately i didn’t plan it as far as an actual plot goes. i basically just assigned whether or not they were weapons or meisters and moved on with my day 😭

if u dont know soul eater, the simplest way i can explain is that there’s meisters (ppl who use weapons) and demon weapons (ppl who are weapons). & theyre usually partners.

the way i had partners set up was:

minato/ryoji + kotone/aigis + junpei/fuuka + yukari/mitsuru + akihiko/shinjiro + ken/koromaru

yeah it’s hard to yap about this when i never had an actual storyline in my head 😭 basically how i chose the actual weapon form they take was i picked what weapons the characters already use in the game. so, even tho akihiko uses boxing gloves, shinjiro is an axe. yukari uses a bow, but mitsuru is a fencing sword, etc. i could’ve made shinjiro & mitsuru be knuckle dusters & a bow respectively, but i didn’t see the fun in it tbh. i thought it could be cool to see them learn to use what their partner is comfortable transforming into ✌️

except fuuka. she was kicking my ass trying to decide what she’d be, so i just pictured fuuka would be the one weapon catering to ppls preferences. so, partners w junpei, she’s just a sword or a baseball bat or smth + koromaru is the same. w ken, he’s a lance… as much as i thought about & laughed at ken, small child, running around with a knife that happens to also be his dog best friend, i figured it wouldnt work out…

lastly, ryoji is a scythe & aigis is a gun. kotone using a machine gun is an important part of this au. not for any particular reason i just think its a little funny

i had stuff planned for ryoji to make him all special but honestly i think planning the au so intricately was what burnt me out 😭😭 opening the wiki to relearn anime lore i watched at like 11 years old and doing my research when all i wanted to do was draw akihiko with a big ass axe 💔

[hinamie]

i normally don’t contribute much of my opinions on chapter content n themes bc a. i think my role in fandom spaces is that of a fanartist and I want to keep my art at the forefront, and b. I am Insecure about how little of the manga I have actually consumed and don’t think I have a solid foundation on which i can offer any coherent arguments or insight. generally I like to leave the long meta 2 people who have been genuinely invested in delving into the manga with the intent of analyzing it . y'all do gods work u are the reason i am not flying through this series completely blind

that being said, i am not here to give criticism on pacing or story cohesion bc quite simply, that is not my wheelhouse. i do, however, want to offer my 2 cents on the concept of choosing to live for others as someone who (like a lot of people is the vibe i’m getting) also struggles w depression and self-worth issues and sees aspects of themselves in megumi as a result. i want to reiterate tht this is not an analysis, these r just my gojo voice personal feelings n u r allowed 2 feel differently based on your own experience :)

let me just say first of all that I can 100% empathize with people wanting to see megumi choose to live fr himself after a lifetime spent in a system notorious fr stripping people of their agency and turning them into tools. i think in a perfect world he Does come to the realization that he’s worth living for. but i also think that him /not/ having crossed that bridge yet is also a very valid n realistic outcome. he's a kid, he's just had the worst experience of his life, he's traumatized and then some -- i only have a bachelor's in psychology and god knows i'm no doctor but personally i wouldn't call that a mental space where self-love is likely to stick

it’s hard to claw yourself out from rock bottom. to expect someone to immediately be able to make the transition from being in the worst mental state of their life to realizing that they are worthy as a person is a tall order that i honestly don't think many people wld b able to fulfil. /I/ certainly haven’t been, and living for others has honestly been what’s kept me going for a long fucking time. even when I’m not necessarily at a low point, I still rly struggle w liking myself n thinking i’m a good person, but what’s been a genuine lifeline fr me when i can't love myself is to direct that love Outwards. If nothing else I know that I have things I can create, and things I can offer others. I've spent countless hours forcing myself to acknowledge that, no matter how much i don’t believe them, if the people around me insist that they see something of value in me or in my work; something tht makes them love me Despite, then that alone is worth staying alive for.

i personally (although i can see how others wld disagree) don’t view the 'living for others' frame of mind as waiting for someone to save you, but rather as holding out hope that there is More out there than your own self-loathing will let you believe. For megumi, it wld seem that his something more was the people he cares about. Yuuji gave him the agency to choose whether or not to keep living, and megumi made that decision of his own accord, which fr someone at their absolute lowest is still a huge achievement! there was agency in that decision, there was selfishness--regardless of the underlying motivation it proved that he /wants/ to live. little side note but i think that megumi Making a selfish decision to live for others' sake should also give a bit of hope that he does have it in him to eventually be able to b equally selfish in the value he places on himself.

anyway that's what i got source: i'm depressed . n look i get that with so little of jjk left, it Is frustrating that we probably Won't see megumi come to the conclusion that he's worthy and that he should live for and love himself. but at the same time i don't think that his decision to keep living for others should b condemned either, bc as someone who has also yet to cross that bridge, sometimes that rly is the first step

[bupia]

Heeeey, Bael

It's me again :P

24 with Rain, pleaase?

Love u bye

SEXTING

“I wanna touch you too.”

There's a smut under the cut, +18 only, please.

(AFAB!Reader: dirty talk; masturbation; mentions of masturbation; I can't make rain say "fuck" ok? he is pretty sweet and gentle)

Available on AO3

Day 24 | Day 26

In the world of Ghouls, having a phone was far from common. There were no hard and fast rules against it, but the idea simply didn't resonate with them. After all, they were Ghouls, mysterious creatures whose true nature remained an enigma. Owning a phone didn't seem to be high on their list of priorities.

However, there was an exception to this rule. You had a close friendship with one of these Ghouls, and he was on the verge of embarking on a tour that would keep him away for months. It was during this moment of impending separation that you decided to break the norm. Digging out one of your old mobile phones, you handed it to him on the eve of his departure. With patience and dedication, you taught him the ins and outs of this, in his own words, "unnecessary but fascinating contraption."

Nearly a month had passed since he left, and you found yourself missing his presence at the ministry more than you cared to acknowledge. You couldn't help but wonder if you had underestimated just how much you enjoyed his company, and maybe, just maybe, how much you liked him beyond that as the days without your favorite person from within the ministry felt dull and uneventful, leaving a void that was hard to fill.

Despite the longing for Rain's presence, you knew you had to keep your head up and carry on with your daily routine. Today, it was your turn to assist the other siblings in the kitchen. You walked down the hall, determined to focus on the tasks at hand.

However, as you made your way, your steps suddenly came to a halt when you felt a vibration in your pocket. Swiftly, you retrieved your phone and saw Rain's name illuminated on the screen, accompanied by a message. The mere sight of it brought an immediate and wide smile to your face.

Leaning against the corridor wall, you eagerly opened Rain's message, a sense of anticipation causing you to nervously bite your lip.

"Hi 😬"

A simple "hi" from Rain, and you found yourself blushing and your stomach tightly gripped in a whirlwind of emotions.

"Look who learnt about emojis..."

"That's the name of it?"

"Yes it is"

"That's interesting." "How are you?"

"I'm fine" "wbu?"

"wbu...?"

"what about you" "sorry" "sometimes i forget you are new on the phone thing"

"I'm fine." "How's everything at the ministry?"

"It's fine."

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, poised to type more, but you hesitated. Should you let him know how much you missed him, or was it wiser to skirt around the subject, not delving too deep into those emotions? After all, you didn't want to reveal too much. Just as you grappled with this internal debate, your phone vibrated again, pulling your attention back to the screen, revealing another message from him.

"I miss you."

Those three words on the screen sent a shiver through your entire body, and that tight grip on your stomach returned with a vengeance. You took a deep breath and blinked your eyes repeatedly, as if to reassure yourself that you were indeed reading those words. For a brief moment, you couldn't be sure if those words had slipped out involuntarily from your own fingers or if they were actually coming from him.

Another vibration, and your attention snapped back to the phone, revealing yet another message from Rain.

"Sorry."

"What?" "Why are you apologize?"

"I don't know." "I think I said too much."

"Saying you miss me is saying too much?"

"I don't know." "Is it?"

"It is not."

"So" "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"You do?"

"Of course!"

"I'm happy to read that." "I was afraid I was the only one." "With this strange feeling."

"Strange feeling?"

"Yes"

"What strange feeling?"

"Emptiness."

"So you feel empty when you are far from me?"

"Yes" "And I didn't know I would feel that way"

"Does this bother you?"

"A little"

"Why?"

"Because I wish I could be with you now" "Hug you" "Touch you" "I don't know" "Maybe" "Kiss you?"

Your eyes widened in astonishment as you read the words "kiss you" on the screen. What did he mean by that? Did Rain want to kiss you? The idea caught you completely off guard, and you couldn't help but wonder when these feelings had started to surface.

"What??????"

"Sorry"

"No, don't say sorry!!!!" "What do you mean?"

"I mean that..." "I want to kiss you."

"Since when?"

"Since a long time."

"Why you never told me about it, rainy?"

"I didn't know how to say that in front of you" "Looking at you" "It's a little scary" "I get nervous."

Your back gradually slid down the wall until you found yourself sitting on the floor, a broad smile on your lips and a sparkle in your eyes. You couldn't help but think about how much you wished he was right there in front of you at that very moment.

"You don't have to get nervous in front of me." "We are friends."

"That's exactly why I get nervous" "You see me as a friend" "And I'm here wanting to kiss you."

"Who told you I don't want to kiss you too?"

"You do?"

"A lot"

"Can you summon me back to the ministry?"

Laughter bubbled from your lips as you read Rain's message. You brought your legs close to your body, supporting your hands on your knees, and bit your lower lip to stifle the urge to laugh even louder.

"Rain!" "You know this is not how it works"

"I wish it was"

"Yeah..."

"So I could kiss you now"

"I kinda want to kiss you right now"

"It will be hard to let this feeling go"

"So don't" "Keep think about how much you want to kiss me"

"My thoughts can lead me to other things"

A deep blush colored your cheeks. Was Rain really about to say what you thought he was about to say?

"What do you mean?"

"A kiss" "Can lead to a touch" "That can lead to more touches" "And then" "It can become something else" "Something I would like to have" "Or to try" "With you"

"Rain..." "Are you trying to talk about sex?"

"Yes I am talking about sex"

"So tell me more."

"Are you sure?" "Isn't it morning there?"

"Wait"

As you lifted your head and looked around, you noticed a few siblings passing by in the corridor, their curious glances directed at you. Realizing that it was morning and you couldn't linger there, you swiftly got up and scanned your surroundings. Going back to your dormitory wasn't an option; it was too far away.

Your eyes settled on a nearby door, one that led to where the ministry kept old or broken furniture. Waiting until the last of the siblings disappeared from your view, you hurried toward the door, relieved to find it unlocked. You slipped inside and closed the door behind you, placing a chair near the doorknob for added security. No one would get in without your knowing, but it was always better to be cautious.

"Ok I'm back."

"Hi"

"Hi" "So keep going" "Not only you want to kiss me" "Now you want to have sex?"

"Yes" "It's embarrassing to talk about it even when you are not in front of me."

"Stop it" "I want it too."

"You do?"

"Yes" "I would love that those kisses become something else." "And you started to touch me." "I really want you to touch me."

"I wanna touch you too." "A lot."

Unintentionally, a soft hum of pleasure escaped your lips as you settled on the floor, leaning your back against an old desk.

"Rain"

"Yes?"

"I need you"

"Don't do this to me."

"You started!!!!"

"I did" "And now I really want you"

"Tell me what you want."

"I want to..." "kiss" "you"

"And what more?"

"I want to" "make love to you"

"Yeah?" "Keep going"

"I want to feel you" "All for me" "Close to me" "All mine"

Your body reacted to the messages from Rain, and another involuntary hum of pleasure escaped your lips. You could feel the heat rising within you, your desire intensifying as you read his words.

"What more?"

"Feel your body on my hands" "Feel how warm you are" "How soft you'd feel under my touch"

Your hand moved towards your lap, your fingers finding their way to between your legs. The anticipation of Rain's messages had your heart racing, making you acutely aware of your own body's reactions. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with each message. The thought of his hands on you, the feeling of his lips against yours, the warmth of his body against yours... you wanted it all.

"Rain" "I'm getting... hot"

"So I'm not the only one feeling hot"

"Not at all..."

Your fingers found the soft folds of skin between your legs, and you felt your wetness as your fingers found the spot that always you moan when you touched yourself, and you began to move them in slow circles, feeling your arousal grow with each circle.

"I'm touching myself."

"Are you?"

"Yes" "Fuck" "I want you to fuck me"

"I need to have you right now" "Stupid shows"

"Don't say it" "I know you love to play with the band"

"I do" "But at this very moment" "I'd rather to be playing with you"

Rain's words brought a fresh wave of embarrassment to your cheeks, and you couldn't help but feel a physical response. Your body tensed, and your walls clenched around nothing.

"But as I can't" "Play with yourself for me" "And I'll play too"

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing mind.

"Let's do it"

You pulled up your habit up to reveal your panties, already damp. You rubbed your fingers over them, pressing into your core through your underwear. You moaned softly as you did so, and you felt a slight temor run though your body at the sound. Your fingers continued to rub gently, teasing yourself.

"I'm pretty wet..."

"And I'm pretty hard" "Getting harder" "Are you sure you can't summon me?"

His message brought a chuckle to your lips, and you bit your lower lip in response.

"I'm pretty sure" "Or you'd be with me right now" "Fucking me" "Non-stopping"

"That's exactly what I need" "Feel your pussy" "Around me"

"I'm so wet, rainy"

"What are you doing?"

"Just rubbing it"

"Forget rubbing" "Touch your pussy for me" "And tell me how wet you are" "How wet" "How tight"

You pulled your panties aside slightly, exposing your glistening folds to the cool air of the room. You dipped two fingers inside yourself, spreading your juices around. You whined, softly. You bit your lips as you imagined Rain's hands doing the same thing, teasing you until you were begging for release.

"Rain" "I'm so wet for you" "So hot for you"

"I need to taste you" "I bet you taste so good" "I want to savor you"

You closed your eyes, imagining Rain's tongue tasting you, licking you, sucking you. You imagined his lips around your clit, sucking you in. You moaned loudly, feeling yourself getting wetter by each second you thought about him.

You pressed harder, moving your fingers in and out, slowly. You imagined him leaning in close to you, his breath hot against your ear. His voice would be husky, low and seductive. Your phone continued to vibrate with a flurry of notifications, one after another, as Rain's messages flooded in. You couldn't help but keep your eyes fixed on the screen, eagerly devouring each message.

"Keep going." "Don't stop." "Think about my cock" "Inside you" "Taking you all for me"

You moved your fingers up to your clit, rubbing it slowly, imagining his tongue flicking across your nub, his teeth biting down on it. He would whisper to you how much he wants you, how badly he needs you. You would met under his words.

"Rainy..." "I need you to tell me how much you want me."

"I want you so much." "I want all of you" "Just for me" "The whole night" "Day" "Evening" "Doesn't matter" "I want you now"

You started to move your fingers faster and harder on your clit. You dropped your phone on the floor, going with your hand to your neck, feeling his sliding his tongue slowly across your neck, your collarbone. You gasped with the thought and took your phone in hands again.

"I need to feel you" "All over my body" "Just you and nothing else"

"Don't worry about that" "I'll make you feel desired" "I'll consume every part of you" "I'll cherish and worship every inch of your body" "And then I'll fuck you until you cry for pleasure"

His words made you even more aroused and your fingers went back to your entrance. Slowly, you slid them inside you. You moaned his name not worrying if someone would hear you. Your fingers started to move faster, sliding in and out of you. With your trembling hand you started to type.

"Rain" "They are inside" "I'm so hot" "So tight for you"

"And I'm so hard for you" "So very hard right now" "I need to feel your pussy so much"

You began to move your hips in rhythm with your fingers, thrusting them harder and faster as you started to imagine how good he'd stretch your walls. You slid a third finger inside you and arched your back, feeling like if you were offering yourself to him.

"I'm so tight" "I need you to fill me right"

"I will" "Don't ever bother about it" "I will fill every inch inside of your pussy with me"

You whimpered, starting to move your hips, just as if you were grinding against him. Imagining his face between your legs, tasting you. You rubbed yourself faster, imagining Rain's hands on your body. You imagines his fingers on your nipples, pinching them. You imagined him kissing you, taking your nipples into his mouth. You needed him so much.

"Rain I don't know if I can keep going too longer."

"Do you want to cum?"

"Please"

"Cum for me" "Cum thinking of me"

You groaned imagining his hands moving downwards, between your legs. How he would stroke your clit, rub it gently. How he's slid his fingers inside you, pumping them in and out. You imagined his thumb rubbing your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

You could hear his voice in your ear, as he slid his length deep inside you, thrusting in and out. He would pound inside you harder and harder, until you came all over his shaft. Your hips started to move in circles, your walls clenching around your fingers.

"Don't stop" "I'm almost there" "Cum with me"

You started to move your fingers faster as you curled them inside you, hitting your spot, feeling yourself getting closer to orgasm. You purred to the sensation, your breathing becoming shallow. You were almost there, you could feel your orgasm building, the heat in your belly growing stronger by the second.

"I'm close" "I"

With that last message sent, you looked down at your fingers, watching them slide in and out of your entrance. You watched your fingers disappear inside you, and coming out covered in your wetness. You moaned, your body shuddering. You pictured Rain's face as he watched you, watching you cum for him. You imagined him smiling, seeing you loose control like that.

"Cum for me" "Now"

A loud moan escaped your lips and you felt yourself starting to cum, your whole body tensing. You let out a cry, feeling your muscled spasm.

"Rain!" you screamed out his name, dropping your phone on the floor as you felt yourself cumming, your juices flowing freely. Your voice echoed through the room you were. You felt your body shaking violently, as it twitched uncontrollably.

You felt your orgasm subside, your muscles relaxed, and you looked around, briefly searching for something to clean up with. However, you quickly remembered your surroundings and decided to focus on your phone, picking it up with both hands.

"Rain?"

"Yes, I'm here"

"Did you?"

"Yes, a lot"

"Me too..."

"I really need to get back to the Ministry."

"I will be counting on the days until you get back."

"But I think we should also talk before."

"For sure... but I think we will keep each other very busy to talk."

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

what am I? The devil's advocate?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GIFT OF APPOLLO STRIKES AGAIN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY CAUSE I CALLED OUT THIS CANCELLATION THE MOMENT FOREVER GOT CANCELLED!!!!! Its just so easy! So simple! Of course a male musician is gonna get cancelled and so few listened to me cause you are dumb children because obviously its children who make up the majority audience of a Minecraft roleplay server!!! Ha! At this point its comical! I'm busting a nut on how funny and predictable this all is. Haha, ah sadge. Oh noooos! Are you all gonna burn your merch and delete your art cause you're afraid that u are supporting an abuser creep. Ah waaaahhhh. Like i havent heard that tune the past two months, sing another one. Bitches.

Pft, you all are so pathetic and funny, at this point there really just must be this shadow group or whatever that is trying to destroy the qsmp from the inside out. Like really? Two months, three major creators of the qsmp are targeted by cancellations, and there is plenty of drama in between. So obviously suspicious and coincidental. And it happened so fast and so many people just dogpiled on the accused, i would have to say its almost organized. And that there is just so many jumping the gun, ready to tell these creators to kill themselves, you guys certainly have numbers, holy shit. Ha! I wonder if Forever actually finds and sues that first anti, that he'll be able to figure out who these people are because isnt this also just so conveniently timed? Each cancellation one after another. There is so much drama clouding the qsmp community that how could it not be schemed out at this point? I already predicted that with Forever's downfall and now with attempts I. Cellbit and Wilbur, Im starting to have an inclination that someone approached these girls.

With cellbit's ex it would be easy to deflame him, but i wonder how they got to this sherby whatever. Maybe cause he chose his career over her like i've heard in her video. But being exs is already hot opportunity for scorn of any kind, so its quite easy to jump on one or the other when one of these two accused the other. So really the motive could be anything at this point. anything she said or not said or those requests she asked of him and he never fulfilled. And to me she never delved too deeply in to what those requests were either. Which ok then. Fine, keep your secrets.

But biting is so fucking weird to accuse someone as abuse. Especially physical. Like just biting? That's all. Not that if its true that's not bad, but it would make sense that he was physically violent in any other way at least once. Like hitting, strangling, anything. But no, biting is the best she could come up with when it comes to physical. Mental and emotional abuse is a tricky in cause its not visible and it will always boil down to a he said she said type of shit but if there is no physical text or people witnessing their conversations then good luck with that.

But firstly, if she wants the whole world on her side then physical evidence should be so easy in this scenario. Like as easy as pie! If he bit her so badly every day where he tore skin, or whatever, then damn weren't they in a relationship??? Did they not take couple pictures? Wouldn't these pictures show the obviously horrible bitemarks? That is the first actual physical evidence that she could show that would be so easy to solidify her stance, but no, just hearsay. And nothing like texts either! Maybe a text to a friend complaining about how bad the bitemarks are. But no, nothing. No slideshow of evidence at all, just saying it happened, because words are all she needs to win the internet nowadays.

And then there are her complaints about him financially taking advantage of her, like girl, receipts! Show the receipts at least please, god damn it! Or again, these supposed texts to your girlfriends that he is taking financial advantage of you!!! Anything at all. The male accused is always expected to provide evidence that he did not abuse his ex but the girl isn't expected to show physical evidence that he did it, come on!!!

And I mean the biting in itself is so strange too. Cause like- how did it even start? She says he did it out of nowhere and my brain cant even wrap around that there was no pinpointing starting point. Said that it was a normal affection thing that his parents said was normal. If his family actually said that at all. And that he just randomly introduced it to her like ... Huh? Nothing she could accurately point to and say then, thats when it began. No sexy time or sex or whenever. Just he walked up to her in the kitchen one day and took a bite, huh? Like as far as im aware, to me (and a mutual of mine who pointed this out more accurately) their situation just sounds like a bdsm thing that went south. These two were not on the same wavelength, realized that and went their separate ways. Maybe he didn't follow the safe word every time, maybe she was also mutually into it like Wilbur said. Maybe they just changed their minds on things. Who knows! Not us, that's for sure. Not that their love life should be any of our business, but she yelled abuse so...

And the fact that she acts like biting is such a weird foreign kink. It's tame is what it is. More tame then the feet kinks in my opinion. But if what Wilbur says it's true and it was mutual, 😮‍💨 then fuck, man.

And why would HIM leaking past conversation be power over her? Wouldn't any mutual conversation or evidence they have over each other, negatively effect him in a bad light? Would it not be good if one of these parties showcased a lick of evidence to evidentally prove her right??? Or would it be like Cellbit and explain thoroughly how not everything she said is the truth?

Who knows. There is probably some truth to what she said like he reiterated. About being a slob and that biting happened. But the invasiveness of the bites and the violence of it might not have been accurate. But he needs to absolutely admit it or she needs literally any physical evidence at all to give weight to her claims. But there is nothing because of course there isn't. She could so easily expose him if what she says is true... So why didn't she in her video? If that is what she wants? But then if it is just to bring awareness then she did so in a selfish manner that is only accusatory and not grounded. Ground me Shelby. Show me the bad boyfriend he is. SHOW ME.

But she won't. Will she? :/

Anyway. The qsmp. 👏👏👏👏👏

Like in the past two months, creators have been cancelled or dropped from the qsmp one by one and damn, quackity must be super evil or one unlucky son of a bitch to have hired all these secretly maliscious people. My goodness gravy gracious, how impressive!

I mean come on, really. Like really. Have we not overheard this tune by now? Male creator gets cancelled cause of something to do with a woman, is rushed to answer and is (luckily for cellbit he had an essay on why he was innocent so people are fifty fifty on him at least) then dogpiled by the people waiting to rip his apology or response apart. And then it doesn't matter what they do, anything they do will be seen in a bad light and no one will take into consideration on their stance at all and turn on the male creator. Its crazy how the pattern keeps repeating itself and keeps being successful because everyone is afraid that they are supporting an abuser pedo whatever and have all this time.

It actually makes me sickly relieved that no matter how Forever managed his initial response, he was doomed from the start.

And i mean these younger streamers certainly think they're smart by immediately turning on Wilbur's obviously curated damage control lawyer made response, but ha! That will bite them in the ass soon too. When its their turn. Because its going to be their turn. These cancellers don't care at this point who you are, they just want to see you fall, which is what i predicted and shouted to the heavens months ago! That they should have stayed as a community instead of turning on each other.

Like they think they are so smart responding this quickly, cause the quicker your response to injustice, the more innocent you are 😇. Because if they dont respond immediately (literally hours after the fact), then they will be treated like creators such as Phil and Tommy; be treated like shit and accused for supporting an abuser by the hysterical masses. Because that's who you are if you are against whatever the ex's name is or dont speak up about it at all. And like dont speak up immediately too. You have to have a quick response or there will literally be a ripple effect of cancellations cause if you dont say anything then you are a bad person too. And all i hear from the social media smucks are Wahhhhhh.wahhhhhhhh you're bad if you support so and so! But i already made my side so im a good person wahhhhhhhh

And no, im not even enteraining shit like this anymore when she goes "uwu, i'm finally coming out on social media to spread awareness that my famous ex boyfriend (and it is ALWAYS at the height of their popularity, remember that) used to abuse and bruise me." Like sure- the benefit of doubt for the female victim blah blah but she's like- "oh but this is based on my experience and I'm just here to spread awareness. Anyway, I'm going to hang out with my friends now after dumping that clusterfuck on the internet. Bye~." Like everyone in their collective minds won't go after him and demand answers then judge his response and then turn on him anyways cause lemme be honest, when has an internet open apology ever worked? It never has. And now she has put the spotlight on him, his pr team is scrambling for an escape, he's probably messaging her behind the scenes going what the hell, and his family and friends who wont actively denounce him will be sent death threats. Just like Forever. Forever mi amor. Ah. I miss you bibi.

Anyway, girlie knew she was setting the hounds on him and acted like she didnt. Like she was just going to say her piece and dip. Like the internet wasn't going to explode. Like what the fuck? Whatever her intentions were, whether she was abused or not, she wanted this. She didnt want to get him before he got famous or even during dsmp. She wanted to do this now. For some reason it had to be now. I guess in her mind the bigger they are...

It's always the same.... goes on social media. Verbally accused with no physical evidence. Leaves. The man is left flounder in the mob of social media. Repeat.

And damn, this really makes me doubt Cellbit's ex now like- im starting to really not believe any of them anymore. Cause these cancellations are just all so convientely timed!!! Forever at the height of his lore, Cellbit's weird ex comes out of nowhere with a heavy hitter accusation, but thankfully my guy predicts this and was able to deflect that one with his PHYSICAL EVIDENCE, and now Wilbur's ex is breaking out the easy 'he abused me~' song. Like why are you all still falling for this? Why? Why? Why? Why?!

And hell, i might be a hundred percent wrong, but you might be too, so might aimsey and ranboo and tubbo. This chick might be a sweet angel that didnt mean to release an innocent criminal accusation on her famous ex, oh no~ but like, i dont even care if im wrong and am acting like a jackass.

They cancelled Forever and my man was not a pedo. I stand by that. I'll stand by it until there is a literal mugshot of him commiting said crime. Or literally any lick or shroud of physical evidence! Anything instead of the basic she said he said nonsense. The Forever texts were gross but i've already determined what I have understood from that girl Sol's response. And I've explained it on my tumblr hear before. Right here :)

-https://www.tumblr.com/lovethatmakingcoffee/739974345599926272/part-1

And these remaining qsmp idiots can be cancelled for all i care at this point. For staying quiet and letting their friend fall into a pit of vipers. I think its hilarious if they all got cancelled. Ive already seperated art from the artist with all of them after what they did to Forever. The only one I didnt do that to WAS Forever.

But they let that shit happen, they let my man get labeled as a pedo, so they reap what they sow.

And yeah i may be a hypocrite and still post qsmp stuff, but like whatever :P. I lost my mind months ago cause of circumstances and Forever was one of the few things keeping me afloat. And i mean like- phaw, these content streamers are funny, what can i say. Even though i dont agree with literally any of the shit they pulled in the last couple of months, they get a hearty chuckle out of me and their character is fun and their lore is (less) interesting. I mean- they are likeable. Thats why they are content creators. Cause they got great personalities. Doesnt mean they are good people though.

And heh, the qsmp really will die soon, i mean really. Just look. Pacfit is cute but it barely holds much in the shipping department, the lore might as well be dead cause many have left or were cancelled or have to deal with the aftermath of their friends being cancelled or leaving. And just it looks like not many people are on and that quackity tried to commercialize it with purgatory 2. Bringing all these new people and having storylines abandoned left and right. Then forever got canceled and quackity chose to throw his friend under the bus (doesnt even matter if forever secretly asked him to) and protect his project which was his first mistake. Now all these creators are getting picked off one by one because of their past relationships. Insteading of standing unified together.

And i will laugh at all of you stupid fucks who whined and cried that ohhh noooo, my favorite creator is a bad person with little evidence, and just the one side talking about it. And it doesnt matter if Wilbur said that was a consensual kink they shared and they met on www.bitemynipple.org, he will be framed as the bad guy, with whatever she said. My god. The fact that everyone takes this shit at face value and dont question anything, and quickly announce that they hate the guy to prove that they are a good person is insane.

Like holy shit, tubbo, ranboo, aimsey, and others. You jumped on him so quickly and literally ranked and ripped apart his apology like it was supposed to win some literary award, the fuck? Why are you so weird?! It's obviously a PR curated response and you are treating it like it is his actual words! The fuck?!

And then y'know, i think there are people who never really were fans and are just part of that well orchestrated alleged anti group that took down Forever and are using what wilbur's ex said to fan the flames. Loudly announcing, 'IM DELETING MY STUFF AND YOU SHOULD TOO UNLESS YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!!!" you want to talk about manipulation? That certainly looks like manipulation to me. Pathetic. Guilting people before the final verdict. My braincells are dead on the floor cause of youm And then the rest of you all roll over, bend your back and just take it. Well lube up your stupid little holes.

But honestly, i called this shit so hard. I more so guessed a fan would damn him later, but its an ex girlfriend who felt like it was a great idea to air out their personal lives to the voyeuristic eye that is the internet. Just peachy. Like this is your own personal shit, and again if there aint even a police report talking about their domestic abuse, i wont take this seriously. It a photo or a screenshot of a text about it. ANYTHING!!!!! The fact she just discreetly brought it up out of nowhere to bring 'awareness'. She knew what she was doing. And if her intentions were to tear him down cause she was angry at him or get her noticed because of his popularity or to use him to lift her agenda of this so called awareness then ok, i guess??????

And what's with this bullshit of not knowing that wilbur is manipulative? That is literally is one of his number one character traits. You can think of it negatively or positively, but unless you are new here, that dude is a manipulative hussy. Like this is a well known fact, how are any of you surprised at this? Its like saying the sky is blue. I mean- if by anything dsmp wilbur is the most manipulative lil bastard ever, obviously he is leaning into a character trait he already knows and has.

But go on, hm, cry. Write your little announcements that you always knew he was a bad person uwu and that you are deleting all your content of him. Go on and do it. Delete your art and fics that you worked so hard on just cause some drama is happening where there is no hard evidence so far except what she said and he said. Heh, I dont stan him. I aint saving this shit. If the art gets deleted, oh well! Too bad, so sad. Thats on all of you who wanted to panic, act out like toddlers and delete your art. Go on. Delete it. Feel sad. Boohoo. Waaaaaaaahhhh. Ask no questions and just side with the 'victim' who conveniently brings this up now.

Who knows. Maybe I'll act up too. Maybe i'll draw Wilbur getting eaten out and bitten and sensually gang banged. Maybe I'll draw art of tntduo chewing on each others' cocks. Bite bite bite. Maybe I'll just make a lot of wilbur biting art just to spite everyone. Who knows?!

Maybe i will also keep the wilbur soot tag alive, like i am doing with the forever, sugarduo, and the 4halo tag. Because you stupid ass bitches just squeal when these creators arent perfect when someone drops dirt on them. Well newsflash you dumb fucks, they all have dirt on them.

Also my next guess on who the cancel qsmp victim will be ... Fit. They havent got anything on Philza yet to my surprise. Maybe the man just surrounds himself with loyal people outside of minecraft server cause obvs those people aint loyal as shit 🤣. And i dont know much about fit outside of qsmp, like i feel a lot of us do. But he totally fits the qualifications. He's a man so he's an easy target. He's older so he has a 'past tm. And he is seen as otherwise good and another pillar of the qsmp. So if he is taken down, many shall follow. It would be another good shock to the community to destroy the server like these antis want. And yeah- i actually think this all stems around the qsmp. Aint no other Minecraft servers are having this level of drama right now, so why is it qsmp that are getting all these leaks and drama bombs at ... At the height of their popularity? I wonder. Or maybe i already know.

But all these pr disaster drama landmines, i even made a funny theory joke in my head that what if the ringleader to these alleged anti groups is actually a pr manager of one of these groups? And thats how they have been destroying everyone from the inside, collecting some OLD dirt, and being able to maybe connect or approach these exs. But that's just a funny theory i have. Like could you imagine???

Could you imagine?

And damn, i just wonder if there is a content creator policy that if one of them is being attacked than the rest have to dogpile on them no matter how they feel or what they think about the situation to save their own assets and finances? Do you think? You think that's in their contract? That would be absurd and hilarious. Imma piss myself from laughing. Look piss.

And no, i will not talk nicely about this. I never should have. You guys all deserve to be spat on and talked shit to. And i mean all. Im talking about everyone. All those that fall hook line and sinker. Dumbfucks

Will i respond to anything from this...? Mm maybe. Probably not. I don't really care what happens :P sucks to suck

(Also yeah this was barely edited, eat my ass)

(And I mean, damn if I'm wrong I'm wrong, but you fucks turn so quick when yeah- there is no physical evidence that she could easily provide)

(to reiterate for those who don't want to read the finer details. I totally think everything that has happened so far as been to rip apart the qsmp and think all these ex girlfriends as well are too conveniently timed. And whether or not they are telling the truth, there are and will always be antis lying in wait to shame and guilt everyone to damn the male accused while no physical evidence is brought forth and that they pressure people to delete their art and fics. Gross)

[ddarker-dreams]

seeing that tag '#geto is growing on me' is bad for me as well BC ONCE (or like if) u decide to write yan gojo x reader x yan geto.....its over for me. do u hear me lock? its. over. for. me. u'll have to attend my funeral

i am. EXTREMELY tempted to make golden girl (and its yandere variation) exactly what you described. in one of my brainstorming sessions™, i was mapping out the relationships MC would have with the other characters and i realized the potential for post star plasma vessel arc was crazy. i'm still undecided on if MC will participate in the mission (i'm leaning toward her not, because there's no way toji wouldn't have killed her if she was there, thanks worm man), but the aftershocks? whew. whew boy.

MC's first year and second year will have a heavy gojo focus. the third year will delve more into her relationships with geto and shoko. gojo and geto both dealt with their tragic experience with riko very differently, which is what i want to explore. they both withdrew. geto withdrew into himself, gojo withdrew by making himself unavailable to those he'd been close with (whether he realized it or not).

this leaves MC in a tough spot. she wants to help her friends, but there's only so much you can do. shoko makes a point that "you shouldn't save others at the cost of losing yourself." this piece of advice goes unheeded. since gojo is often physically absent (and when he is around, he's different than she remembers, monopolizing her time and attention), but then there's geto. grief makes sense to her, more so than whatever gojo's deal is. so she tries pouring into geto.

since there's nothing i love more than dramatic irony — MC's attempts to convince that people are worth protecting, sorcerer or not, actually solidifies his position further. MC went through an existential crisis herself about something similar, only for her conviction to strengthen by the end of it. she thinks sharing the thought process that helped her will help geto. it kinda does at first. and then geto realizes this is the 'trap' that keeps jujutsu sorcerers forever stuck in the thankless cycle of exorcising until they die.

now, when he looks at MC, he sees the sweet, idealist morsel that the world loves chewing up and swallowing. he develops this weird preoccupation with proving to her that the world he envisions is better, in hopes that'd get her to come to her senses.

first year MC: almost dies due to jujutsu politics second year MC: +2 kids obtained from toji's defeat third year MC: accidentally helps kickstart her best friend's supervillain arc

graduation cannot come faster!!!!!!!!!! someone help her!!!!!!

[lesbianrobin]

can I ask for some details about the st/911 fic 🥺🥺 I'm so curious I want to know more

YES HIIII ok so so sorry i didn't reply earlier i got distracted by mustacheddie.

so the st/911 crossover is a prompt fill for the 911 gotcha for gaza!! which means i was basically told to write a fic about steve and robin stealing baby buck and i am going... absolutely bonkers with it.

like okay i will go ahead and share that i have written out a timeline of major life events for every main stranger things character + buck and maddie (and daniel for his brief time on this earth RIP) from 1966 to 2011. i will probably extend the timeline when i get deeper into writing. and i don't even know how much of that will make it into the fic but i Needed to know where everybody is/was and what they're doing and how things line up before i could really delve into the fic.

my current structure is a sort of. sequence of moments from buck's life. we'll start off with steve and robin's babynapping of course and i May do a little nancy pov moment 😳 but after that we're gonna switch to buck's pov and start skipping a few years at a time to check in on him as he's growing up!! i want to show his journey of figuring out who he is and what he wants in life and how that might change with a radically different family environment, as well as check in with the stranger things characters over time!! i'm very excited to show little hints of what everyone is up to in the background of buck's story!!

i'm not gonna be altering canon too radically, my main goals are 1. showing buck's self-discovery as he grows up, 2. showing how steve and robin's parenting impacts him, and 3. creating a lovely beautiful world where all of the stranger things characters get to grow from the trauma of canon! i'm basically gonna be progressing from the assumption that in stranger things 5 no mains are gonna die and they're gonna end the upside down/vecna stuff for good and then go on to live "normal" lives.

i'm so excited because i actually am doing something. very silly with buck that i think a lot of people will hate but i'm Thrilled about it and i think you can maybe guess what it is based on the snippets i've shared on here already <3

thank u for askinggg!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 mwah

[soaps-mohawk]

Hello!! I want to start off by saying I’m a massive fan of your work, you paint beautiful pictures in the mind and I absolutely adore the way you write each character, ESPECIALLY the reader. This is one of my favorite iterations of a reader character, like you actually ate this up. 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

My question is actually in regards to scruffing! I read what it means and what happens but I was wondering if you could delve into a bit more detail? The way you describe the action kind of sounds traumatising, if an omega is scruffed roughly will they distress? Or is it like a brain kill switch?

I remember during the chapter where the reader is distressing, price cradled her neck to help ease her down. Would scruffing an omega pre distress halt the process or accelerate it? is the meditative state that omegas sink to when kneeling the same as when they’re being scruffed?

Sorry if I piled too many questions I’ve just never read about scruffing with regards to a/b/o before and I’m so interested in your world building it’s delicious- thank u in advance ❤️❤️❤️

Aww you're so sweet omg thank you!!! I'm so glad you've been enjoying the fic so far!!!

Sure!! I can get more into scruffing!!

It is very traumatizing for an omega and so that's why most good alphas will only do it if they have no other choice. Scruffing is sort of, as you said, a brain kill switch. It kind of shuts off the omega's brain and what happens next kind of depends on the motives of the alpha doing it. Typically it's done so that the omega can't react or respond to what's happening and they can kind of be controlled. In extreme cases it's used to calm omegas, but that's like worst case scenario, things are about to get dangerous type of situation.

The neck is sort of an interesting part of the body for omegas. It's a very vulnerable spot, as we can see with scruffing, and omegas have a natural response to protect their neck if they feel threatened to try and avoid something like that happening. But, the neck can also be a source of comfort if an omega is with someone they trust, as in the case of kneeling or what Price did where he protected the reader's neck and also provided that sort of comfort that would come from a trusted alpha (or even a beta) sort of holding those pressure points.

The meditative state that omegas slip into when they're kneeling is different than the state of mind they're forced into if they're scruffed. I talked about it in the fic a little bit and also in the asks where kneeling can easily turn into scruffing if it's done wrong, if too much pressure is placed on those points of the neck. Kneeling is a lighter pressure that helps ease tension and helps the omega relax. Scruffing is a harsh, painful pressure that shuts down the omega's brain and basically puts them in a very vulnerable position.

I'm always happy to answer questions and clarify things!! I know not every author includes scruffing in their fics, at least it's not something I've seen a lot of in a/b/o, more in werewolf fics than anything. 💚

[witchofthesouls]

Hiii I know that ur busy with a lot of stuff recently but I just wanted to ask some tips as a fellow fanfic writer. I have a hard time doing some world building n I've noticed in your writings that you always managed to put in enough details. It's okay if u don't have the time or energy for my ask. ^^

Have a good day 👍

Oh, thank you!

I approach world building as world/lore expanding or tweaking. The bones are there. You're just shaping the muscles to direct them, and you can pull from a lot of other experiences or influences to guide the process.

Example with Transformers Prime. Canon-wise, the position of Prime is deeply tied to religious and cultural aspects of Cybertron, and the Matrix itself came from Prima's (the first Prime) own weapon: the Star Saber. I like thinking of the implications since it was never stated to what happened to Prima. Perhaps he's a ghost trapped inside the Matrix to guide all the other bearers because he's the only one with the big picture or focus vast enough to keep the goal in mind.

Then there's the "Uncrion-is-Earth" subplot. Since Unicron is the Unmaker and Lord of Chaos, then it raises a lot of questions about Earth's role. Since I like fantasy and magic, it's an easy delve into "Hey, what if magic and legends were actually real at one point?" and it gives me more work into thinking about humanity's role with other magical peoples, especially with all the lore in regards to animal brides, divine intervention, and worship. I know there's a general consensus that humans are boring, but how do the others perceive us? What do seafolk, like Selkies and Mers, warn their children about the two-legged land dwellers? Why are fey and humans so fascinated by each other?

Or, there's the deeper delve into popular tropes and doing your own twist. I like the fandom agreement that "Seekers are like birds of prey," so I just expanded it by incorporating more of the sexual dimorphism (i.e., larger, drab females and smaller, colorful males) and other behavioral traits (i.e., mating dances, courtship and threat displays, aproaches to raising chicks), which then leads to more thoughts on how all that can influence Vos' culture and how the rest of Cybertron perceives them because they're not driven by those instincts. Because there's a common fandom trope that Vos and Praxus are deeply entwined with each other, or Praxus came from Vos, there's additional layers on their relationship as well as thoughts how Praxus functions and their own relations with other city-states.

Because it's a lot of detail and it's easy to dump too much on people, I like writing from a character's perspective because it's simpler to tie in things from their own observations as well as their own biases. Either as an outsider or an insider.

Like in my story with "this earth i rise from," each segment is told from the perspective of others towards the cyber!June and cyber!kids. I explored a bit of Cybertronian language with Optimus, grief and biological quirks and tells with Ratchet, and Fowler's own tidbits between the Cybertronians and the ex-humans as everyone is trying to get used to the new reality where June and kids cannot go back to their old lives and need to make it work.

When it comes down to it, a lot of my own world building came from what I wanted to read. To go really deep, you can take real-life references to build upon it. My thoughts about the Thirteen Primes came stemmed from the mythologies of the ancient world and Medieval Europe. Prima is the equivalent of the "king of the gods," how each sibling has a specific role or domain associated with them, and the possibility of sentient Primal Artifacts that decide the worthiness of wielders.

[mejomonster]

Ill stop being a broken record soon (about sherlock chapter one anyway - im just starting the next game and WILL be blathering about it lol)

If you do want to play a be-sherlock simulator? Sherlock Holmes Chapter One is worth checking out. Or if, like me, you like detective games generally (i recommend Judgement by the way if thats your vibe), id also say pick this up because the freedom to make wrong deductions and decide outcomes is quite the unique choice and its interesting to see. Many detective games can give you a case to solve (and as a story nerd id like to solve them thoroughly and correctly). And they'll hold your hand to some extent because u generally do Need to solve the cases to continue the game. Now, SHCO does to an extent hold your hand, with the typical gameplay tools and by providing eventual paths To Progress the cases in some direction depending on how many clues you find and deductions you put together in the mind palace. But because most of the cases have areas you can be wrong and progress, or pick from multiple viable options to decide what happened, and just the fact you decide the final outcome for that accused... fascinating. It means the case writing is interesting enough you do guess to yourself who did it, and regularly change your guess based on evidence, and theres no obvious BAM for sure guess (in contrast simpler detective shows like some cdramas i love often have easy to guess perpetrators once you learn the writing pattern). When i saw this game's reviews, people seemed mixed on this particular feature of the game. Since it means theres many points where you feel either theres no True perpetrator and the game changes it, or you feel theres no power to determine the Truth.

But i think... partly thats the point. Verner (lol) wont shut up about his opinion of many things possibly mattering more than the truth, and in true frustrating fashion you are JUST as aggravated as Sherlock is by the difficulty in Absolutely being sure of the Truth. And that frustration, and experience, is hammered home in the very final decision of the game: deciding the answer to the main question you started this journey for. You can pick any of the answers. You'll get its own ending. Sherlock will be certain he deduced the truth. Or at least, as certain as you Or him can be... when any 4 of those scenarios might be the truth as far as you can tell. Sherlock's shaken, and maybe he isn't convinced of the truth being certain any more than you are... but he does DECIDE on an answer to live with. He is unsure whats true, but picks one of many possible truths and gives himself closure with it. A very relatable though painful experience pretty much everyone does in life at some point.

And i think thats a big reason they designed so many cases that way. Its not that the game's whole story is unfirm, or the cases stories are inconsequential. No. Its just that the point is in the meaning you take from a world you can never fully completely be sure of, how you pick what to base your life on when you can only be sure of your own reasoning. But no mattwr how much you wish to control life by understanding it, you can never fully understand it, never fully know everything. Ambiguity is part of life and life is impossible to fully control. The cases are like that so you feel like Sherlock, trying desperately to nail down a firm reliable truth to make sense of a messy stressful uncontrollable world.

So like. From a story perspective? The choice serves the game's themes and point well.

From a detective game perspective? Its very fun if ur trying to feel like a detective, to get some stories where you actually turn over your guesses and contemplate and feel you need to really delve in the clues thoughtfully, if u want to draw the best conclusions u can.

[kouhaiofcolor]

i understand why you feel this way. But if u had the access to these other countries the way you have access black americans- and the way they have access to us through media you would understand the flaw in what you are saying. the desecration of our cultures and degradation of blackness is quite literally everywhere equally. I grew in trinidad, you don't see what goes on there. No eyes are covering what trinbagonians (hell they won't even cover Sudan or the Congo or Somalia or South Africa) are doing & their cultural mores the way all eyes are on America. For example while West Indians will hype carnival and the history as though it's some well respected event in tribute the ancestors - i just saw a video of a literal child - a boy under 10 yrs old trying to buss a whine on a grown ass woman bent over to let him grind on her ass- while a crowd of adults watched and laughed and egged him on. Yes black americans are flawed just like any group- but I have never seen anything like that here ever. And I see it regularly with this oh so historical revered cultural event. I am of Trinidadian and American Black heritage. I love carnival. I have played mas/ participated in carnival.I am not simply downing the culture. I just want you know the only difference is high visibility Black Americans have that allows people to speak down on Black Americans so easily. And because Black Americans don't know- through no fault of their own - some buy into denigrating each other as Black Americans- I see it all the time. And I sit there shaking my head- because if they only knew. I want to laugh when West Indians talk about American education system- yes it is lacking- but when Black folks outside of America say 'we know we come from Americans don't' - especially if you are from the caribbean- I have never heard a statement more asinine in my life. And they stand on it because eDuCaTiOn. l promise you that Black Americans do not deserve the criticism you are giving more than any other group. I get it tho. It can be frustrating and disappointing and disheartening especially if you actually love your people. I know I love mine. Blackness is as flawed and as it beautiful everywhere you go. Not trying to change your mind, just offer a different perspective.

This is about this op, right? I'll apologize if it seems like it read differently, but I have no illusions whatsoever about how global antiblackness is. I definitely do not believe (nor was I establishing) that African Americans are wholly responsible for negative perceptions of Black people as a construct — but I also wasn't standing on some sort of "bias" for seeing distortions between how Black Americans are frankly more responsible these days for things that makes us look so damn terrible in the US. Is it too forward to be frank about it like that? I think this criticism matters just as much as the issues themselves.

Frankly, if we gone get into this tho, I gotta delve. I need to get it out anyway, so I actually appreciate you checking my perspective as well as sharing yours.

The takeaways are bolded below the cut, if that helps. There's a tldr, too. #Nbdni.

Ofc there are Black People who aren't from the states capable of harming our representation. My criticisms were concentrated on the kind of self and communal destruction I've both grown up experiencing and being witness to myself that is unique to the way we live as Black Americans, though (which was more than specified for parts of the diaspora I took care to omit so that I wasn't generalizing literally everyone Black from any given part of the world).

Yeah, there's internal antiblackness all over the diaspora, but I feel like we really need to stop negating how Black Americans are by far the modern faces and voices of the worst of it on such a global scale and regular (normalized) basis. I'm also aware that being Black in the self proclaimed "freest and most opportunistic country in the world" itfp, is what makes it so easy to damage the representation of Black people at large; so we unfortunately tend to saturate visibility in general for that reason alone. I also know that in a lot of ways it is thee wedge between how Black culture is perceived in other parts of the world, as well as how Black culture is prevalently defined or associated within the US.

While I do get where you're coming from, I cannot (and did not) speak on how antiblackness among Black people from Trinidad or, say, Mozambique or Somalia works, bc those are qualities of life I haven't experienced and frankly don't think I have the range to speak on as a Black American. I spoke on the state of the Black community in the US specifically and exclusively since, as plenty diasporans can vouch for, we dominate visibility here. I went out of my way to not lump everyone together; I know what I was saying and was absolute about what I meant, just to be clear.

The anecdotal bit about the video of the underage boy dancing w the grown woman, is unfortunately nothing out of the ordinary (and p great example of what I'm talking about) when it comes to the kind of cringy behavior among Black American adults that shape the experiences, values, upbringing and development of Black children — and harm our image. Esp in the US?? You've never seen anything like that here??? Consider yourself lucky to have never been witness to something relatively commonplace to see on social media and pretty humiliating secondhand. Beats me why literally anyone thinks watching or posting content like that is cute. Or why the caliber of Black adults this too often pertains to (in most contexts) find it amusing to put Black kids in situations where their representation as actual children is totally compromised or overridden, but. Those who find this kind of stuff entertaining usually aren't the brightest individuals themselves, but this definitely does happen in the US.

You're right that we have a lot of visibility here as Black Americans that eclipses the relevance of other parts of the diaspora; you're right that this particular part of the diaspora is riddled with unpacked, inherited trauma and internalized antiblackness through, at least originally, no fault of our own — but I seriously worry we've gotten suuuuuuuuuuuuper comfortable with that. At our own expense to absolve accountability on our part for any of it. I think we've gotten accustomed to making excuses and justifications for white supremacy being to blame for the antiblackness we perpetuate ourselves, to avoid actually resolving anything plaguing our communities because of us.

I'ma just be frank: Our ancestors put in work we're too divided and self absorbed as modern Black Americans to actually replicate; esp considering the trajectory we're on now. We just do not have what it takes, esp while an increasing number of us are finding it more "lucrative" to reduce our numbers through community violence — or for a belonging or identity among people more apt to fetishize us through our own willingness. And we'll call that "freedom" or a quality of life as opposed to learning how contrary it is in the face of actual antiblack American history.

What I find myself questioning and struggling to understand more and more, is when it boils down to it, on a personal as well as community level — exactly how much of our plight as modern Black Americans isn't our fault, though. How much of what stagnance and toxicity we actively normalize, perpetuate or do nothing to change within our own communities (whether collectively or as individuals) is not our fault? How much of this do we just not "know any better" or "know enough about" to actually fight for or invest in securing a quality of life actually worth living for future generations of Black people?

How much conscious internal encouragement and investment in abandoning or outright destroying our lineage, is not our fault? There's no togetherness, no real connectivity or bonds, no real values, no real livelihood, no sustainable resources, no wealth in health, no real traditions, no real protection or safety, no real immersion in our own diaspora, no closure on the grounds of slavery or reparations for it, no real community — in being Black in America. That's no generalization; this is a straight up testament plenty of Black Americans can, have and do vouch for. And even then I have a healthy understanding that not every Black American feels this way. I hear those who do, though; because everyone isn't unreasonable or biased or self-hating about it. There's validity in being ashamed of this kind of stuff. And it's getting scary how irrefutable and insurmountable the inner discourse, as well as the external judgement for it, is becoming.

We're not responsible for any of this? We don't perpetuate any of this garbage ourselves? We're not doing ourselves and our children the biggest disservice doing the arguable minimum about antiblack propaganda and behavior? Esp among each other?? The only people who even really speak on antiblackness are Black Women — and we're torn apart or gaslit for it all day all year both on and offline even by the community. There's a lot unique to how we move and what we normalize as Black Americans that we simply do not actually address, work to reverse or resolve, or even think is problematic:

The ways we're too comfortable outright or lowkey mistreating each other; the lack of sensitivity in how too many of us raise our children; the generational affects from rampant teen pregnancy and teen fatherhood rates; the baby daddy/mama culture that has become a community staple for all the wrongest reasons; promiscuity and infidelity; low marriage rates; single parenthood; low home ownership rates; our lack of connection to or real knowledge of Black culture that isn't African American (and that being fragmented as is); our lack of awareness of anything remotely positive or economically significant about Africa (esp w/ aaaaall the modern means to research); the prevalence of colorism in our communities as well as discrimination and hate-crimes that target fully Black Women in general; "divestment" movements and antiblack eugenic intent among Black people (we can call this one straight up coonery if it's simpler); texturism; featurism; lack of real accumulative or generational wealth to pass on; lack of real investment in ourselves or avenues to sustain our survival; literally zero community leadership; the ways we masculinize Black children as Black parents; the differences in the standards and expectations we have for our Black daughters and how much more lenient we are with our Black sons in comparison; Black on Black crime; gang violence/affiliation among Black youths; drug and sex trafficking of our own people by our own people; and the educational brainrot among Black youths hinged on the glamorized behavior of Black adults (esp celebrities), for instance.

How much of that is not our fault? The list is too damn long at this point; with common denominators spanning generations. The issues are too unique in how they're not as prevalent among other races of people. This isn't a white supremacy thing in it's larger entirety anymore the way it used to be, is what I was getting at. Antiblackness has definitely been absorbed and propagandized by modern Black Americans too, and we could do a lot better at actually taking the time to look inward at the things we've conformed to and perpetuate about ourselves and each other. But that's always asking for too much or it's too expectational. To use our minds as Black People for something conducive for us as opposed to harmful lol. Use them together for our actual benefit in the long-term, at that.

I guess I say all that to emphasize that I am becoming truly embarrassed by what modern Black Americans perceive as social progress and worth fighting as well as living for — even as a Black Woman who at this point only has the energy to esteem and push other Black Women anymore. But it hurts so much worse being constantly, inescapably snared in all the noise, shiftlessness and unchanging discourse here among us that does absolutely nothing for anyone.

TLDR; It feels like the Black community in the US doesn't actually mature and hasn't ever really developed, I guess. It gets embarrassing even when you have the capacity to understand how and why things are like this itfp. Antiblackness thrives, at this point, because of how unserious we take ourselves and each other. Hard truths are still truths. It's embarrassing, and it should be okay to be real about that.

[vacantgodling]

1 and 9 for Amon and Hya pls im so sorry the brainrot IS terminal

you & me in the hospital like 😩🤝

1. What’s their love languages?

so i did answer this already BUT to delve further into love languages: they have to learn how to speak each other’s languages a bit, yknow what i mean?

amon has to learn how to read hya. how to say what he wants to hear but also to not back down from showing his True Self to him because hya hates liars and hates hypocrites more than anything. he only starts opening up to amon when amon starts being painfully truthful with him — at least in terms of his desires and who he is as a person, and honestly this is daunting for amon. he’s never had anyone demand so much of him (and if u remember that one scene i showed u when we first became friends wink wink, that’s what he meant when he was saying “i’ve never let anyone know me like this” tm) and yet give so little in return. but, he slowly begins to realize that hya isn’t giving him a little; he’s giving him everything he has. YES he’s bad tempered, yes he doesn’t communicate like a normal fucking person but hya is also giving amon so much of him that it’s dizzying. amon almost can’t handle how much of himself hya gives him and it makes him wonder if he’s giving enough. so he keeps becoming more and more fixated, more and more enamored, more and more unable to detangle himself from hya because he’s never had anyone SEE him and GIVE to him like hya has it’s nuts.

but then at the same time, for hya, learning to love amon is an exercise of trust and trust is The Most Terrifying Thing in the world to this man. he doesn’t trust ANYONE outside of himself, and life certainly has not given him a reason to. but even still, he finds himself believing in amon, listening to him, caring for him no matter how much he tries to minimize their relationship or amon’s affect on him. he lets amon touch him! kiss him! see him while he sleeps!! like even hya can’t deny that he’s allowed amon into the most vulnerable parts of himself (that shriveled thing he calls a heart) and amon made a home there and it’s Terrifying to him.

essentially their love language is also overcoming their internal fears and i’m obsessed with them for it

9. Baths or showers together? Do they like elaborate ones with bubbles and flower petals?

so hya has a whole thing where he’s got trauma around showers so you will never ever see him in one. so baths are the automatic go to. i haven’t actually thought about the two of them sharing a bath (sacrilege ik) but it’s definitely married couple era if it were to happen. amon would be so annoyingly pressed about it and hya would keep trying to tell him to Focus but amon’s just giddy like a kid and would absolutely want ALL the stops. bubbles, petals, champagne LOL. hya’s all “i knew you were easy to please but this is almost comical” and amon’s like “of course i’m easy to please i’m with you.” but they are both so DISGUSTINGLY fond.

idk man it’s just the way that hya starts being more affectionate for me UGGHHHH i need to write like 800 chapters of them being the cutest sappiest married couple they’re GROSSSS i love them 😭😭😭

[actualbird]

oooh ooooh ooooooooh!!! irt the nsb-luke post... the idea of nsb being not so great is just... OMG THE TENSION??? lile how would that go down? in my head, i'm just imagining what would happen if luke found out or the possibility of traitor!luke perhaps? 🤔

irt why i think the nsb let luke go back to stellis

yesYESSSSS THEN TENSION WOULD BE INSANE RIGHT??? and i forgot to mention in that last response that among the reasons why i think the nsb could possible be a bad guy is cuz.....of luke's AU cards

his SOTT card, SSR Overflowing Thoughts. and his gufeng card, SSR Dreamlike Drama. if u havent played/watched those cards, i HIGHLY recommend u do because i rlly loved the stories in both and also because of what those two stories have in common

[spoilers for those cards ahead] in both cards, the luke's AU life lead to him breaking against the state/the law and becoming a vigilante or an outlaw. the reason he broke off from the state/the law was because he had witnessed or experienced a Great Evil either from them (for SOTT card, luke seeing the injustice of the system causing suffering to mc and then later on him being ordered to kill innocent people and Pointedly, Not Doing That, thus becoming a wanted man) or just in general (in gufeng card, luke witnessing his parents being killed and going rogue to get revenge) like.....

this cannot be a coincidence. it feels like foreshadowing. luke is a very noble person at heart with a great GREAT sense of devotion for the people and the causes he believes in. but if that trust is broken, if he sees bad happening, he breaks off. two cards show us his propensity of doing this in AUs, so whos to say it cant happen in the canon setting? and if it does, then the mysterious govt agency that hes currently aligned to seems like the best bet for who That Evil will be, right?

im sounding like a madman again JHAVKJFAHSVF but i do hope this happens because it'd be SO INTERESTING

additionally, i do wanna say that in broad strokes, that i dont necessarily think itll be traitor!luke (thought that ALSO INTERESTS ME GREATLY YEYYEYYEEAAA) but more following the premises of the AU cards where like......ok in the beginning he actually was aligned with the state/the law, but then Something crossed the line, Something happened that was too horrible for him to accept, and he breaks off

the AU cards show that luke has hard lines and limits for what he is willing to accept from governing powers or from the status quo. when those lines are crossed, hes gone, hes out

so in canon i wonder if like.....luke Is a traitor in the nxx but he doesnt know it yet. hes more being used as a pawn, moved into the right spots where he'll be most useful and unknowing of what his purpose actually is. and then when he realizes that his master isnt as good as he first thought them to be, he goes rogue

wouldnt that be a hella fun route for the story to go? HAHA

btw, if ur interested in traitor!luke, i HIGHLY HIGHLY reccommend that u start reading and following sam @samsspambox's fic series "the world turned upside down (down, down, down)" which is delving into that concept along with other extremely fantastic concepts and also it's SO GOOD, GO READ IT!!!!

BUT YEAH......nsb being revealed to be not-so-good would be so so delicious to me narratively

.....it'd be agonizing for luke "guilt complex big enough to be seen from space" pearce to have more things to be insanely guilty about, but honestly that just adds to the appeal for me HKJASHFVAKSF

[spookyserenades]

I’VE NEVER WANTED TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE SKULL MORE-

but I wanna punch u in like a loving way ya know 🥹🥺🙈🙊🙉😭

i-

ok i didnt have time to talk abt last chapter, but honestly all u have to know is that i loved every single word, every punctuation mark, every period, every space-

omg this chapter was wild i cant-

yoongi and y/n, I’ve never met a couple whose good and bad at communication at the same time i cant- no cause like him writing a song for her bc of her, when he played it i imaged Butterfly for some reason, the melody is so beautiful on the piano 🥺🥹 omg not him with his shirt off at the b-ball court. He rlly flexing huh, yeah sure ur too HOT 🥵 omg she got a vision, LIKE HER MOM! Will this be a reoccurring theme with her? Oooo. OMG THAT FIRST KISS WAS SO SWEET WHEN IT SORT OF CAME FULL CIRCLE WITH YOONGI ASKING HER TO KISS HIM! AND THEN HIM ASKING FOR MORE OMG ITS SO HOT WTF I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE THIS HORNY YET BUT UR WRITING IS JUST 🤌🏼 💋 THEY ARE IN LOOOOVE FR LIKE WE KNEW THEY BOTH HEAD OVER HEELS, SO HEAD OVER HEELS THEY COULDNT GET SLEEP FOR WEEKS/DAYS~ OH MAN SECRET RELATIONSHIP YEAH WELL-

omg wtf yeah secret relationship went down the drain lol. Either hobi’s hearing is super good and he’s near the room or everyone heard y/n fucking whining into yoongis mouth dam. Or he saw that quick kiss in her room omg ur cliffhangers dana drive me INSANE! Hobi is such a tease too! Now him teasing her for her heart palpitations poor girl cant handle all the handsome men around her like same girlie pop-I do wonder how this will effect the hybrids dynamics with each other and her 🤔

omg jinnies b day he deserves the world. Not him feeding her, he KNEW what he was doing and in FRONT of everyone too 😏 him warming up her hands with his breath i cant- and then going to take cooking class in February. HIM SAYING HE DOESNT WANT TO GO WITH ANYONE ELSE BUT HERRRR 😭 him saying lets go home bc home is smth he never truly haddd and he feels safe mow eeek😭😭😭😭

Omg not tae driving the way home- KNOWING THE WAY HOOOME. No cause like you can tell they probably all know the way home by heart bc they cherish her and the house sm its means so much to them i cant i actually had to stop reading after that line bc i got so emotional. Omg tae is taking his photography seriously 🥰 im so glad hes really delving into his passion! Omg their ID’s lol they must be so cute and funny 😆

ofc jimin is a responsible cutie we love, cant wait to see more scenes with him later~ but him saying y/n looks good in any photo ✋ stop sir u are such a charmer i cant- eeeeeek

omg joonie so cute. He cares for her sm and he’s the type of person to not beat around the bush. He cares and wants her to be straightforward when shes upset 😭 eeeek

omg the scene with jk- i LOVE BANTER SM and their scenes always crack me up. Jk’s dialogue is so fun! No not her giving the puppy dog eyes 🥺 and it not working… or maybe it did 😏 omg and her being bold with that KISS ON THE CHEEK- i was imagining jk when he gets surprised or zones out 😲 its so funny 😂 omg y/n has W Rizz for sure~

omg ben already predicted this my mans was just waiting for her to catch up- its so good to see him again I love y/n’s friends. Him lifting her up but also humoring her is SO what i would do if my friend was in a similar situation! Like Y/N GIRLIE POP I ARE THE IT GIRL U GOT NOTHIN TO WORRY ABT!

THANK YOU SM FOR THIS UPDATE I LOVE U SM DANA!!!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! Remember, make sure to take care of urself first and foremost! 😤 Love you byeeee~

FDJSKAFHDSAF I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO PUNCH MY SKULL LMAO!! I'm so so happy that you loved the last two chapters, there was SO much that went down, I can't wait to chat about them hehehe 💜

SO fhdjsaf you're right on the money with Yoongi and MC not knowing how to communicate with each other for SHIT. Like I think they rely on telepathy or vibes too much, neither of them are mind readers... so much of their conflict these past two chapters could have been resolved if they just sat down and talked calmly about things for an hour or so!!! 💀BUT stop it right now Butterfly is one of my favorite BTS songs, so so gorgeous on the piano, and I could imagine a very similar melody that Yoongi would write for MC being something like that too. 🦋

HNNNNGGGFF Yoongi all sweaty on the court without his shirt.... damp long hair....teasing MC the whole way UGH I just know that I'd be drooling! 🥵And with that vision WHEW I'm so happy I could incorporate that into MC's character finally, I will say that this is something that will begin to happen more frequently for MC-- ever since she has been diving more into her spirituality and practices, her psychic abilities have been getting stronger.

The kiss. THE KISS!!! I'VE BEEN DYING TO WRITE SOME ROMANCE FOREVER NOW MY GOODNESS IT TOOK 13 CHAPTERS!! I just feel like Yoongi is such a 0 to 100 kind of guy when it comes to kisses, sweet and tender to begin with, then BAM super passionate and intense. I really really loved writing that scene, I'd say that Yoongi was truly desperate and yearning for MC for so long that he couldn't help but beg for more hnnnnngggg. But now they have to tip toe around for a little bit until they figure out how to tell the others, which turns into MORE yearning and AH I wanna chew on my drywall!!!! 👹

djkafdakfdask I'm excited to continue off where we left off! You know I always gotta leave you all on a cliffhanger. I wonder how MC is going to dodge Hoseok's questioning, and we don't know if he heard those two making out (he shouldn't have been able to, the music room is soundproofed...) or was perceptive to how weird MC and Yoongi were being with each other. I also feel like if Hoseok heard them, some of the others would as well, and I can think of a few (Namjoon, Tae, Seokjin for ex.) that would probably bust down that door!!! But also your theory of Hoseok possibly catching their kiss in the hallway is something that could have happened eeeee. Also I love teasing Hoseok as well he raises my blood pressure... poor MC can't even hide her heartrate from them!

UGH Jinnie's birthday he's such a sweet darling, I love that he was able to go out somewhere yummy to eat and spend time with everyone. I also really love when he feeds MC... it's so hot to me idk why like yes PLS grab my face and stare at me and treat me like a princess Jin!!! Always making sure she's warm, wanting to go to the cooking class with just her, and feeling truly at home with her and in their house I CAN'T He's just such a love. 😍

Tae baby... just like Jin, he knows where home is now and AH they're just all getting so close. You're so right, they really cherish her so so much. Tae and his photography too is so fun to write about, it's nice that he gets to express himself creatively and the other hybrids let him take their ID pictures was a sweet hidden moment that I'm happy you noticed!

Definitely more Jimin on the way!! It's been the Yoongi show for a bit, but that's just how I've planned these few chapters. Don't worry, each of them will get their turns to be the stars, which I'm super excited about in the future! Charmer Libra Jimin is my Roman Empire, totally more of a flirt and a romantic as time goes on. Joon UGH!! My little wolf, he's warmed up so much to MC, and he's very straightforward and stern like you said-- ever since the Incident, he seems to be very concerned about weather or not MC is feeling upset.

HA I love writing MC and Jeongguk's interactions, they're both such little shits and you can tell when they get on each other's nerves, but it's less antagonistic these days and more playful. He totally called her out for pouting, and while it might work for some of the others, it doesn't on him LOL. But she got him back with that kiss, huh? I bet she's been dying to do that for months...

I'm PSYCHED you mentioned Ben. He's my favorite side character to write, and it's nice that MC is able to confide in him about any of her worries. You're right, he totally caught onto her having crushes on all of them (it's probably dead obvious to him) But ahh it makes me so happy that you love him as well!! I agree, I'd probably act the same way towards MC if I were Ben-- teasing her but trying to encourage as well. 🫣

FDJAKSFH THANK YOU FOR READING AND SENDING ME SO MANY LOVELY COMMENTS!!! As always I look forward to what you have to say about updates, and I love you sm as well! Hope you had lovely holidays and a fun new year my sweets! 😘💜

[roobylavender]

disclaimer that im not asian but as a fellow poc i’ve kind of had an observation that when it comes to feeling connected with ur cultural background , how u r raised, the environment u r raised in, and one’s willingness to delve into their culture plays a big part in that connection ! but in media it’s like boring lol versus irl

like this might be obv or whatever but atp in media we consume the whole not feeling connected storyline or whitewashed characters has been really overused ? idk if that makes sense bcs i too am built different 😭 and it’s high time we move on as a ppl

yeah like on one hand i feel bad for not being able to sympathize but on the other i also think i would be able to sympathize more were a lot of these narratives actually possessive of characters who feel like real people. using past lives as an example since it's what prompted this thought but my primary issue with the film is that none of the characters felt like actual people. they were caricatures at best with no substantial interiority and the appeal of the film was more in the ideas it espoused than necessarily any connection the audience might have had to the characters. it's "easy" to make a film about lost love and regrets and disconnection and diasporic guilt. what's hard is to make a film about those things that is unique. in that sense i think a film like everything everywhere all at once managed to slip by because the sci-fi element was unique. but i don't think the characters themselves were unique at all and it once again felt symptomatic of cultural trope storytelling. i know a lot of people value relatability in media and that seems to be the main reason why the latter film was so popular. it resonated with people. but i don't want to just resonate with a story. i want to grow attached to idiosyncratic characters possessive of their own world and mannerisms and story to tell that is distinct even within a recognized cultural experience. and frankly speaking i get that way more from homeland media than i do diaspora media

[jianlol]

hiiiii (it me, angel) so genuinely wasn’t planning on taking up a 4th muse but this lil shit happened and i fell in love but what can i do ? creating his personality was so much fun like i had to bring him to life :’) anywho,, i have a discord for plots and chats (feel free to ask for my username<3) but i’m also available on dm’s here on any of my muse blogs (jaemin & chaerin) !

i’ve got his stats, kprofile, plots, & pinterest ♡

��� welcome to infinite entertainment! it's YAO JIAN, who is the LEAD VOCALIST of PHOENIX. i’ve heard whispers that the 25 year old is pretty DETERMINED but lowkey JUDGMENTAL. also, doesn’t he remind you of LIU YANGYANG?

EARLY LIFE / FAMILY

jian was born on march 27, 1999 in tainan, taiwan

his family is his world, his mother and big brother, basically part of the only few people he’d hold back on his eclectic personality from

being a single mother, his mom raised them the best she could with the help of her best friend (his godmother). so growing up, he was determined to help out as much as he could when he was older

he isn’t quite sure where his dad is, he left when jian was born. doesn’t really have any memories of him anyway so he didn’t seek him out or try to delve into that

PASSION

he didn’t start off as a singer or dancer, didn’t quite find his soon-to-be “love” until his teens

his first passion/hobby was ice skating, what was supposed to be a fun family outing had sparked a fire nobody was expecting

he learned when he was 5 but after years of keeping at it, he started competing in competitions here and there at 10, ranking high but never reaching first place

singing was something he’d never thought twice about, only a silly thing he did in the shower or doing chores/homework

even if he was told repeatedly by his family members how good he was, chalking it up to them just saying that because they were supportive like that

PHOENIX

in true jian fashion, he didn’t even have intentions or plans of being an idol, it just happened

he actually went to an audition at infinite entertainment to support his friend, not wanting him to go through it alone

jian never expected a positive response much less passing through to the next round

he was reluctant to keep going though especially since singing was never part of his planning for the future but after seeing how excited his family was for him, he had to go and make them proud (this was also his chance to be able to take care of them)

and after considering with his ice skating career in mind as well, he eventually chose to accept the offer to go through with training

he found himself really enjoying singing and dancing and soon performing on stage, getting the same feeling as when he was on the ice

he debuted at 19 with phoenix after properly strengthening his skills and he’s thriving tbh

jian’s very dramatic on stage, pulling out all the theatrics and acting like he’s really trying to take out the government

PERSONALITY

ice skating has pretty much shaped his personality, ambitious and driven to reach the top and be the best

while also being very judgmental, picky and critical of everyone and everything and the whole world basically, but mostly himself, he’s carried that into everything he does

but jian’s also loyal, witty, impulsive, and a huge smart ass like he just has a Big mouth (sorry in advance, way too sarcastic for his own good)

will argue back just to piss u off always

loves his friends to death, super protective and has major little brother energy where he just wants to have fun with u

kind of a priss

he’s more eccentric in front of cameras/fans and just a little less in private :’) either way, he’s a handful

OTHER

very. . . odd lil guy (atp i think i’m only capable of creating gremlins help)

aries

nasty side eye

sneaks off to the nearest ice rink to skate when he’s angry or sad

takes those gg tiktok challenges WAY too serious

[helloalycia]

hi! just wanted to pop in quickly to tell you that i've finally gotten around to reading both of your alicia clark books! i remember starting the first one a long time ago but never managing to finish it - i reckon it's because i've never actually watched fear the walking dead because, well, i ✨fear✨ the walking dead (sorry for the pun lol but no seriously, i'm too scared to watch such shows, even though alycia's in it 😭) but i always manage to come back to ur account and ur fics (i basically grew up with them) and i'd seen that you'd posted new content about alicia clark, so i just had to give your books another try and i absolutely loved it. i loved alicia & kamille, i loved mía and al and oliver and so many other characters and it really broke my heart when joanie and madison and adam died.

kamille is an amazing character; she is patient and calculated, fearless but also scared. she is hope and warmth and the future alicia always deserved.

i'm not religious by any means, but you still managed to make me understand and respect the hope people gain from having faith in something/someone but also the boundaries and doubts that come along with it (even though you didn't mean for it to take over the story). believing in something also often comes with rules, so it was very interesting for me to read about kamille's inner conflict about breaking them: did they really matter in a world where law and order was gone and safety and trust was always only temporary? and even if the world didn't turn to shit, kamille is a muslim lesbian and a woman of color - as i've said, i'm not religious, but i'm also a queer woman of color and i did grow up in a househould with certain beliefs, so if you don't mind and feel comfortable sharing it, i'd love to hear more about your opinion/thoughts on this matter. only if that's okay with you though, you can skip this part, if you don't want to answer that question of course! i don't wanna pressure you into anything!

but yeah, i really did love kamille (even though she was so fucking stupid and oblivious sometimes 😭). and as i've already said: i've never watched ftwd before but kamille and alicia just somehow made sense to me. i haven't felt this single in a loong time hahahaha 🥲

i believe the ftwd fandom is not very huge and i know that some of your other fics for other fandoms might get more attention, but i really do appreciate it every single time u post a fic about alicia (i mean i appreciate every fic you post but i'm kinda loving alicia clark very much right now).

just wanted to let you know that bc she seems to be one of your favorite characters and you must like writing fics about her. so yeah, if you ever feel like those fics are not being recognized properly; i recognize them. and i very much appreciate them. 🫶🏻

sorry this message is wayyy longer than i intended it to be haha

firstly can i just say there’s so much to unpack with this but first and foremost, this brought tears to my eyes because it’s such a genuinely sweet and thoughtful message, and it means a lot when someone really delves into what i’ve written and appreciates it as more than fanfiction, so thank you 😭

okay so i love your fear the walking dead pun, really made me laugh 😂 i really appreciate you giving my fics another go as well, especially as someone who doesn’t usually go for scary stuff like that – it means a lot! ♥️

you’re right about the ftwd fandom being tiny haha, it’s a struggle writing stuff when not many engage with it, but thank you so much for letting me know you enjoy my stuff! i think i’ve been writing a lot for Alicia lately because i genuinely just miss her character and there’s a lot to work with in that universe and with her, plus i’m still having withdrawal from the kamille x alicia fic as it was so fun to write and i miss them 😂 you’re right btw - kamille was a dumbass haha but her and alicia felt so real to me and i genuinely forget she’s not in the actual show 😂

again, very grateful you recognise that though – it’s always so touching to know there’s someone out there delving into what i’ve written! as you said about the subtle commentary within the fic about religion and beliefs combatting a world where it isn’t ’needed’ anymore, that was something that i’m glad you picked up on! i feel like i try to include subtleties in my writing on similar more serious themes, rather than just a fic or imagine, so it means a lot someone noticed them :)

in terms of my opinion on the whole queer women of colour and belief system, i’m happy to share! honestly writing the kamille x alicia fics were a little outlet for me as i’m in a similar boat, a pakistani lesbian, and i genuinely face this issue every day, so obviously i can only share my opinion.

as a person of colour yourself, you must understand how it is being viewed in the lgbtq+ community as someone who isn’t white, but i feel like it’s even harder when you’re a follower of a religion, so in my case Islam. But i won’t go into how it is being viewed like this externally because you can see that anywhere. For me, it’s the internal conflict.

i think knowing that i like women and can never feel otherwise makes it hard because it’s always a decision between do i force myself to think and feel differently because of my family? or do i lead my life how i want to? but then that in itself is hard because even though i’ve told myself i’m a lesbian and accepted that, have i really? i don’t share it to anyone other than my friend and sisters. I don’t know how to. And then my religion and beliefs come into play - i genuinely believe God/Allah wouldn’t frown on me for feeling this way because He created me, but other Muslims would see it as a sin and me straying away from religion. But is it really straying if it’s not my choice? Surely my beliefs should be between me and God, not everyone else?

No matter what, believing in something bigger than me and the fundamentals of my religion make me feel calm and centred. I don’t care how many times people say being gay and Muslim is wrong, because it’s not to me. I can be both. And it doesn’t change any of what i believe. Saying that though, my parents put religion first even though they’re not very religious. Family is second to them whereas it’s first for me. Their beliefs shape them and i can’t exist within that if it doesn’t follow their ideals.

It genuinely comes down to perspective, and as much as i tell myself i don’t care what others think, i do. Mostly my parents. If they knew, they’d despise me. And it’s that thought of do i lie forever to keep them in my life? or live my truth? the answer is, i don’t know. My biggest fear is being alone, funnily enough like Kamille, so i don’t know if i’d rather live an unhappy life surrounded by people or a happy life alone.

But yeah - that’s just the base points of my thoughts on the topic, as well as my experience. If you have any more questions or want me to clarify anything, do let me know! the truth is, most of the stuff Kamille fears or worries is a mirror of my life lol. Only difference is, her circumstances don’t make her choose because it’s not a choice, it just is.

Hope that helps and once again, thank you for your kind words! 🥰♥️