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#when will people learn to keep it short?
gofancyninjaworld · 1 month
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Sadly, no one keeps it short
All Saitama wants is a short story.
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Sadly, it eludes him like fame, money, and a full head of hair.
Below the cut, a non-exhaustive compendium of Saitama vs. The People Who Just Won't Keep It Short:
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fras-redacted-shapes · 5 months
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Not to sympathize with Zane but-
Let's forget for one minute the whole mystery if he changed from poet to filmmaker via spooky shenanigans for spooky yet unknown reasons, and instead we see him as an Artist(tm):
An artist who got famous for one of his works, to the point that to everyone he is said artwork. He's been mixed up with the character.
Everyone celebrating the one work of art and the one character, completely ignoring the artist is capable of doing a wider variety of artworks, maybe even ignoring his entire back catalogue.
The moment he did the one movie after immigrating? That's it, his reputation. Forget whatever he did in his homeland, foreigners in a foreign land have now decided he is Tom the Poet. It didn't matter at all that the character was voiced by some other person.
And now, let's entertain for a minute both possibilities being real at the same time: Alan Wake is a fictional character by Thomas Zane, and Thomas Zane is a fictional character by Alan Wake.
In both cases the character has the author's face. To the point that outside parties say it out loud - the Anderson bothers referring to Alan as Tom, Saga seeing a picture of Zane and wondering why does he look like Alan.
And the gall - Alan asking Thomas why does he look like him.
A fictional character now claiming the author's visage. The artist pigeon holed into one narrow genre. The Artist fighting his own work to reclaim his identity.
Thomas Zane goes as far as making a movie and once again play a character in it, but this time it's a different character. Tom is reclaiming his own visage. He plays writer Alan Wake in Yötön Yö.
There's no subtlety, there's no subtext!
Even when Remedy had Max Payne recast, Sam Lake was unable to get rid of the reputation, even if the character was voiced by a different actor. Recognized as Max Payne by foreigners in a foreign land(s).
And then, two decades later his face is back, but this time the IP belongs to Remedy. And it's not just the the voice and face of Max Payne with a different name - the author also plays as himself.
"Finally, voice and face are one and the same!" said Ilkka Villi/Tom Zane.
And if you take a step back, you could see Zane trying to take Casey from Alan as the deal between Remedy and Rockstar have with Max Payne. The IP was developed by one studio but belongs to the other. And now the original developers are reclaiming it by changing the name a little and inserting the character in one of their own IPs.
But you know, Casey is (in universe) a real person, same as a certain author in real life.
So, not to sympathize with Zane, but I understand why he gets annoyed when someone asks him if he was a poet. The poet could've been really just a character from his most famous work.
It is annoying when your name gets only recognized because of a narrow selection of your works. And that work may not even be the most meaningful to you or your favorite one!
These writers at Remedy are having so much fun and I'm glad they're all free to be as unhinged as they've been. I think they should go further.
Anyways, I propose Zane keeps getting confused with The Poet just to bully him lmao.
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kicktwine · 5 months
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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dan-crimes · 10 months
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LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all
#so to clarify I do not consider myself a Sonic fan since I have never played a Sonic game and I've never read any of the comics#and idk the lore cuz I've never really bothered to watch other people play it and I have watched some of the shows#y'know my grandma had 4Kids so sometimes I would catch Sonic X on TV#but literally most of my knowledge of the Sonic franchise is just having people talk to me about it#like when I was a kid my grandma babysat these kids who were older than me I forget how old I was like under 10 I think#and one of the kid's big interest was Sonic so I would just sit and listen to him talk about Sonic the entire time I was there#he would play the games too I think but my brain didn't process any of that so I have no actual memory of the screen#I would mostly just pay attention to him talking cuz he would talk about it while playing it was great#so that is the base of my knowledge and then after my grandma stopped babysitting them it was radio silence#until y'know people would occasionally bring stuff up in videos I'd watch and I'd look @ videos about people talking abt Sonic#occasionally and see like memes or YTPs of Sonic or y'know abridged stuff#but I literally never actually watched a Sonic game until Frontiers came out and then The Murder Of Sonic the Hedgehog#and Sonic Prime is the first Sonic show I properly sat down and watched which show is great btw I enjoy it a lot#but yeah and it was vaguely purposeful like I was keeping myself away cuz I know how I am about stuff and I WILL try to learn EVERYTHING#if I get too interested in Sonic as a franchise#oh I did play Unleashed sometime after it first came out and couldn't get past like the first fuckin level but tbf I was like 7 years old#possibly 8 years old cuz I'm not 100% sure how much later I got the game but like I was really bad @ any game that wasn't just like#spamming buttons since I grew up on fighting games lmao#but yeah I dropped the game almost immediated I do not count that for anything#but yeah long story short: all my knowledge is second hand like I still think I know a good amount for what it's worth but#I wouldn't trust my own knowledge
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paimonial-rage · 13 days
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I was thinking about this while helping my friend beta something yesterday like… I vaguely remember that at one time, I felt (punctuation) periods were too harsh. They had a sense of finality about them. They were too loud and vibrant. Commas were more comforting to use. They felt softer and not as exact. And then I look at my writing now and there's nothing I love more than a period. I love how sharp it is. I love its finality.
Like I can't understate enough how much a period makes a statement. Like that's what it's supposed to do, yes, but it's more than that. It tells the audience that what precedes is true. It's a fact. And when you yield a period properly, it emphasizes and highlights what is stated. It stands out. It's final. It has weight. It's such a powerful thing that it's addicting to use.
#thoughts#personal#writing#i should be putting this in the main post but the main post has a vibe that i don't want to interrupt#the way to properly wield a period is by varying the lengths of your sentences#a good key to remember is that long sentences are meant for providing information#*long sentences are not meant to stand out*#when you want to highlight something that is key you use a short sentence#making it short makes it clear to the audience that the statement is meant to hold weight#however it is important to keep variety in the lengths of your sentences#a short sentence after a short sentence does not stand out as much as a short sentence after a long sentence#think of it like this#if you have two short people standing next to each other they look normal#if you put a short person next to someone really tall it makes the short person look shorter than they actually are#their shortness really stands out#this is called juxtaposition#i can make a whole essay based off of the importance of juxtaposition too HAHA#periods can be loud but i highly recommend trying to learn how to use them#one of you said you like hearing my thought process when i write so i hope you find this one interesting!!#now i'm gonna speak more off the top of my head but i feel that ppl that dislike periods are very sensitive to the flow in their stories#there is a flow to a sentence when you use commas and periods tend to disrupt that flow#a period/short sentence is too abrupt and jarring#at least that's what i assume they feel#however imho i feel ppl that feel this way are overly sensitive to the flow they perceive exists in their sentences/paragraphs#i have to tell myself this constantly that things that flow seamlessly aren't always a good thing#imagine your writing like an orchestral piece. are they always flowy and legato? or are there moments where the music jumps or changes?#and what do those sudden jumps do? they wake the audience. they catch the audience's attention. they add variety and interest#imagine an orchestral piece that the tempo never changes. the volume never shifts. every note bleeds into the next#you get put to sleep!#so a period may seem abrupt in the scheme of the sentence but look at it from the view of the whole paragraph. it may be better than u thin
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bestiasilvanus · 8 months
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OK I saw the weirdest take on adopting from shelters earlier and it's bugging me so I'd like to say a few words for anyone unaware on how shelters operate
When you are paying several hundred dollars for an animal, here are some of the things you're paying for
The animal itself
The medical care it recieved for the time it was in the shelter (often includes fixing, dental work, treating illness, and vaccinations)
It's food
It's enrichment
The time of the staff who care for the animal
Upkeep of the facility itself
Covering cost of care for other animals who never get adopted out because they die or are euthanized due to illness, injury, or behavior issues that are too severe to be helped
And other miscellaneous things that a shelter needs to keep running
The majority of shelters are non-profit. Their money comes from donations, adoption fees, and grants from larger organizations.
If you don't wanna pay 500 for a mutt, that's fine, but to act like the fees are for no reason is ridiculous. You are not just paying for the animal, you are paying to support a facility that's doing it's damndest to serve a community with one of the most pervasive problems that exists the whole world over.
Until YOU wanna take in the thousands of unwanted animals in your area and provide them with care, you can stop being upset over shelter pricing.
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rosicheeks · 1 month
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10, 27, 50🥰
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah. Like you said there’s infatuation at first sight.
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
Yes 😭 I’ve had a few poems sent to me on here either through anon, DMs or posting one and saying I’m the inspiration behind it.
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
That’s pretty complicated lol
#*maybe* if I let my hopeless romantic self take over I think (hope) there could be a spark at first sight?#where you see someone and you feel drawn to them and you have this weird feeling they’re supposed to be in your life??#who knows maybe it’s just in the fairytales but damn I want a fairytale love one day#but I definitely don’t think there’s a thing like love at first sight#love is much more than just seeing someone… I just feel like that’s a shallow way of looking at it? and I don’t mean to disrespect anyone-#who does believe in love at first sight#I just feel like it takes time to fully love someone#I feel like to love someone means to truly know the person - to take the time to learn them as a person and to learn the good and the bad#and to fall in love with the whole person#I truly still can not believe people have taken the time to write me a poem#I genuinely get a little teary eyed whenever I think about it#I have a notebook (I lost it during the move but I’m sure it’s in one of the boxes) that I keep and write down any poem or sweet message#that I receive and then when I have a bad day I can look back at them#if I don’t find it soon I’m gonna start a new one cause I miss having that pick me up#LOL#that last question#I truly truly don’t even know how to answer that#short and simple answer sure I’d accept the apology but we wouldn’t get back together#a little side note I have a tiny feeling that it wasn’t true love but who knows#anywayyyyyyy thank you so much for the questions!#ngl I fell asleep shortly after I reblogged this and then the rest of the day I forgot about it 🤦🏽‍♀️#but better late than never right? 😂#ask
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zichqec · 4 months
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Hello Zi, I just thought I'd write a little something to thank you for all the things you do for this community, i just saw the 2023 summary and I don't think I can ever thank you all enough for your contribution, the Dream Team is truly the pillars of English ghost and I hope you are all proud of you
If one day my dream of making my own ghost becomes true it'll be all thanks to you. So many dreams have already became reality thanks to your hard work, isn't that wonderful ?
Ohhh thank you so much for taking the time to send this! This means the world to me to hear <3
It makes me so glad to know that my work is helping people! My dream is to see ukagaka fully realized in the English community the way it is in the Japanese community, and for making a ghost to be a normal creative project and not seen as a huge, insurmountable task that only the most determined people can accomplish.
There's a long way to go and a lot of resources yet to make, and sometimes I feel like I'm just treading water when I'm staring at my monitor at 2AM, revising a draft for the 4th time. But messages like this really make me feel like the effort is worthwhile, and that I should continue on, because my planned future projects will make an impact.
So, thank you for this <3 It really is wonderful to see people making so many things, and having so much fun exploring ukagaka. Best of luck with your own ghost projects! If you eventually make a ghost, I'd love to see it!
#sakuraghosttown#Ukagaka#English Ukagaka#Not art#Text post#ZiAnswers#//This really means so much to me#//I see so many people in the UDT discord server start ghost projects and then never complete them#//And I'm trying *so hard* to improve the ratio of started ghosts to completed ghosts#//But it's very difficult for a number of reasons#//I feel like a lot of new devs shoot themselves in the foot by taking on really big ghost projects not realizing just how big they are#//(And not realizing that complicated projects aren't necessarily better than simple ones)#//But a lot of people don't listen to us when we try to convince them to start simple and learn the ropes first#//And then almost inevitably they give up within a week#//It can be really disheartening for me#//I'm trying to work on more resources to show how you can make simple ghosts in a relatively short amount of time#//Because ghosts *can* be really straightforward projects that only take a week or two to make!#//But it's easy to feel like I'm not making much of a difference when I keep seeing new devs struggle and give up#//And it's hard to stay motivated when you feel like you're not making a difference#//So this really helps a lot to keep me going and give me motivation to tackle my next big project#//After reading this I'm itching to get started on what I have planned next#//But not until after new years - I owe myself a break lol#//This ask made my week! Maybe even my whole year#//When my next big project comes out please know that you helped me bring it to completion#//Because I will be thinking about your kind words as I work on it#//Tag ramble
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naranjapetrificada · 11 months
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not me thinking about how Stede thinks he ruined Ed when even if they never saw each other again after episode 10, their connection showed Ed what love could feel like and marked a watershed in how he'll think about the possibilities of life going forward
#like obvious things are bad now#but he was turning a corner after his chat with Lucius#only becoming the kraken after fucking Izzy Hands threatened him#that kind of trauma response is never permanent sustainable#which the show underlines in the season's final shot of Ed crying#like he's literally not going to be able to keep it up#eventually there will come a time when it gets less intense#and for having Stede in his life for even the short time before everything went to shit#anything that comes next will include the experience of having met and known and loved Stede#and that feels like a fundamentally hopeful thing to me#and it just bums me out so much that Stede doesn't know that he had that kind of positive impact#fortunately he's going to Get His Man#but he has a lot to learn on the way#I think he realizes his actions have consequences#but when it comes to people close to him he never thinks those can be good consequences#look how he wanted to improve the crew's lives early on#he didn't know them well but it's easy for Stede to wish people well before they get close to him#the problem is he believes he's so fundamentally flawed#that getting close to him is a trap#and when he was finally able to do it he went all in because his relationship with Ed was so different than anything that came before#and because it made him feel good and alive#and I just hope *that* will be the thing that changes him going forward#because now he also knows what a bunch of new things felt like and will never be able to forget them#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd meta#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#stede bonnet#edward teach
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tadpal · 9 months
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one of the more frustrating parts of uni was people without memory problems saying Learn This Now And It Doesn't Matter If It's 3+ Years Until You Next Use It!! It'll Come Back To You!! like no tf it won't. it's gone.
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neverendingford · 9 months
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#tag talk#storytime sexcapades#sadness is canceled. met a really cute cool dude visiting town for work and stayed up all night talking and uhhh. other things.#I really am so ready to move. I wanna be in a college town with community music groups and a larger visible queer population ugh.#anyway. the more I experiment the more I realize I'm actually definitely trans and I would like certain bits lopped off 😕#I will literally never shut up about the connection between sex and gender. I'm sure there's some shortsightedness to it#because I'm speaking largely from my own experience with it. so obviously there's an implicit perspective bias there#but like. turns out when you're dissociated from your body it can be hard to enjoy certain body activities.#I'm mostly over showers now. it's way easier to see myself the way I want to be. still things I want fixed. but things are livable.#but yeh. sex is difficult when you're at war with your skin.#also. why do people do poppers. your head spin for a minute and you smell organic solvent for a while. my head spins all the time#like. “it's just like sniffing glue” bro why do people sniff glue I don't get that either“.#“it's like being drunk for a short time” I don't get why people do that either.#throwback to that time someone said I needed to not become an alcoholic and I just pointed to my four month old vodka bottle in the fridge.#idk. there's a use for it. alcohol is a CNS depressant and I love it for that. but only sometimes is that necessary.#anyway. I'm curious to try other substances but I fully expect to walk away going “eh. I don't get what the deal is with that”.#but we keep doing new things. for science. to learn about the world. and to become a more understanding person. understanding is everything#anyway. cool people do exist. I literally said that thing about not meeting people I like and the universe decided to be a joker about it#did I already say that we stayed up all night? sitting on the trunk of you car watching the stars on a warm desert night is a good vibe.#I like getting out of the city and finding a patch of desert to park in and just bathe in the night air. and it's better with company#the end. bye. I have an age of empires game to finish cause I paused it to go meet up with him. and now I have to finish it#ALSO. yeah I know.. vodka in the fridge. I've started putting it in the freezer just cause there's not as much room in the fridge
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do you have anything else in the "gold to ash" au? is the childe consciousness gone? please say no
referenced fic here
short answer: no, he's not gone!!
long answer: it's complicated! "Childe" manifests now in Foul Legacy as a sort of humanity, in a way. both Childe and Foul Legacy love you, but Childe is what makes said love so sweet and human. he's what allows Foul Legacy to listen and take in the world around him, instead of focusing on protecting you from anything and everything. right now, Childe is present as old memories and habits; the memory of what makes you laugh and smile, the memory of Zhongli not being dangerous, the habit of putting others before himself, and so on. Foul Legacy loves you, but Childe still remains to make him remember many reasons why he loves you, and what drew him to you in the first place. Childe's consciousness, in a way, has become an unconsciousness for Foul Legacy, an instinct to give him reasoning and thought and just a little more humanity.
if that makes sense!! <33
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I’m going through my copy of The Lady Tars and this was just incredible.
William Brown (birth name is unknown) may have been the first black woman to serve in the British Royal Navy. While the book here says Brown served for 11 years as captain of the maintop (others say capt. of the foretop), there’s another conflicting account that has her rated as a landsman in the ship’s muster. The Times wrote about her and this is the main source that she was a foretopman. The paper also says that Brown intended to enlist again as a volunteer and it’s completely plausible she did. However, it’s completely unknown either way. What is known indisputably is there was a young black woman from Granada going by the name of William Brown serving on the H.M.S. Queen Charlotte in 1815.
#ripping my hair out coz yes. there was a woman going by William Brown in the navy in 1815#but that’s about all that can be verified#and the fact that there’s this conflicting account from The Times drives me up the walls#I want these people to have been better remembered and personally that’s where the genuine tragedy lies#did she re-enlist? did she have prize money? did she serve for a few weeks or over a decade??#more than likely she wasn’t a capt. of the main or foretop#especially if she really did only serve for a short period#there’s just a sadness in it that we don’t even know her story or really anything about her#that’s why I’ve been reading about all the polly olivers in the navy#but yeah. incredible that she even DID that#I hope she lived a good life#that’s all. I don’t like wild speculation when researching historical persons as tempting as it can be#so I only hope and wish the rest of her life was a good one#also it’s just so important to know these stories or what we can learn of them#a man (or woman) is only dead when their name is no longer spoken#I want to help keep these women alive for as long as I can#also PLEASE double check your sources! I ran into a few instances where person A just makes stuff up about person B’s findings so. please.#I don’t like making assumptions based on what *I* want to be true either so again. there’s very little known about her so take all this#with a few grains of salt#william brown#age of sail#history#women in the navy#(also frustrating coz William Brown was/is a pretty common name…)#I found a couple of other sources talking about her so I’m gonna see if there’s ANYTHING else I can find out#black history#I’ll come back to this and write it clearer. I’m running on fumes#also should add that The Lady Tars is a compilation of auto/biographies of 3 women and this is just from the foreword#but I need to nap rn
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oh lmfao edited to add. the thirty tags are maxed out but i have to work in the wordplay of: call this post-it notes
speaking of [happening to think about, then for a separate reason talk about, the film “stand by me,” an adaptation of the stephen king short story “the body”] last night, & tumblr ads reminding me, i did turn around after listening to the podcast ep extensive, research enhanced analysis / discussion of specifically the book like hey yeah yknow what. i’ll watch the It films; not the miniseries / the one with tim curry, which i saw the first half of but wasn’t really inspired to commit to the latter half. and you Know like yeah i’m truly interested in the choice to build on [stephen king kicking his legs like “whaaat are some Problems kids could have.....um being a girl.....being jewish.....having a stutter.....”] with “what if someone was gay or some shit” like yeah right on, which idk that steve ever wrote into any vaguely primary characters even though it’s markedly made textually relevant. and the cultural alignment for kleinsen enjoyers is still very funny. i forgot about even the arm cast business till halfway through. even the [break it again] joke kind of manifested lmao
anyways the point is i’m like, my two primary modes of [this experience] being expressed via [mad men meme In The Cinema seriously considering the material] and [the shot of that guy in the alternate titanic ending where he’s like ahahahaha throwing his head back and the camera is overhead zooming out a little bit] and the like Oh Hey. This Is All Coming Together? kind of [that madman cinema meme] moment hit in The Second Part because it’s like, it’s Remarkable for a stephen king story to have Adults Who Are Friends. which is where it can be cross referenced with Stand By Me, which is about kids who are friends, but Framed by like, this story is written in the future by the main kid, who wanted to be a writer & now is, mostly about his friendship with this one other kid who was like “hey man you can & should be a writer. believe” and that classic [stephen king High Concept stories] central plot impetus / definition which is “the one where some kids go on a trek to find/see a dead body” and then ending with Adult Main Kid with that classic / standout remark “i never had any friends like the ones i had when i was twelve. god, does anyone?” which is included even in the film via seeing him type it out on bulkier ye old computer terminals while his kid is now twelvish i guess and talking to a friend. after also musing on like, yeah that bestie who hyped me up the most and who i saved in turn, with a gun, tragically died. iunno where those other two kids in the group are, living kind of underwhelming lives out there probably but whatever. lmfao like man i dunno write them a letter, call them, you could do a little digging here and get in touch. but yeah it’s not gonna be Exactly The Same as when you were kids, nor exactly the same as it was when things aligned to have a brief but dramatic adventure, nor when you Could just all spontaneously decide you wanna go walking & camping to find a body & then just up & do that. but like, you can consciously make & maintain friendships i prommy my man lol. like “it’s great when things align so you Happen to have these friends when you’re twelve and you all like offer each other emotional support and can understand each other like nobody else can. but then you Will all just drift apart” like, i mean, will you. you can have friendships beyond what you just Happen to have / hope that the magic alignments will just continue falling into place for you so that those friendships still exist
and probably part of it is that it’s really mostly About the two kids who are friends even though there’s four of them, i.e. the protagonist & the moral support bestie, as well as the fact that this is a short story so there’s presumably only so much time to focus on characters at all really or delve into any setup and bg lore and whatever all else, i dunno. but thinking how it’s like, oh hey, in It it’s kind of its own serendipitous alignment of elements there to be like, here’s a group of adults where it’s peak relevant that they’re friends, for once. because afaik that really just doesn’t happen in sking stories, like, yeah adults kind of have friends but it’s Not Very Deep / it’s just kind of convenience about working together moving plots along & it’s like yeah uh i don’t fucking know i guess we see each other / hang out for dinners or post dinner drinks together or join forces about whatever fucked up shit and just talk about that, mostly....and probably people are just dropping off like flies eventually, the protagonist man of that [sooo many protags who are just some fuckin middle aged guy who’s a writer] type, and it’s also in part just because like, characters don’t really matter that much / have to be particularly distinct / Are Disposable when plenty of the point is to go “was that fucked up or what?” about whatever’s happening, so yknow you go “there was once just some fuckin guy, i dunno, he probably has a wife he’s paternalistically protective of but maybe also resents and maybe a kid or two or something, whatever....” like, being the main character doesn’t really matter, it’s just this avatar through which we are told a story of some fucked up shit and to whomst any fucked up shit can even happen, being other characters also really doesn’t matter
so it’s like huh, stand by me / the body as obviously this Ode To Twelve Year Olds’ Friendship And How Your Emotional Support Of Each Other Defines The Entire Path Of Your Life Though Mostly For The Main Character, Everyone Else Fucked Off Or Whatever like right yeah, but with that difference of how like clearly as an adult this isn’t gonna be about this guy going like “hey yeah where are those still living scamps today,” he’s reminiscing only, he’s talking about how he now doesn’t have any friends like the ones he had when he was twelve....then what changes in It is like, hmm how are these adults where the fact they’re friends actually is peak relevant? how does one remain friends with even Any childhood friends there huh. and then the fact it works out like that is like aha, well it’s because they don’t lmfao. that everyone happens to scatter to the winds at some point when it maybe will eventually rear its head amongst even their own adult guardians like hey, yknow, maybe let’s not live in murderville. or coincidence. whatever. where the point is that like oh also, everyone just magically forgets the goings on as kids including the existence of their friends, but is about to be reminded of them / remember all that, for a specific external reason rather than [adults are like hey let me try getting in touch with that mf] and already plot and magic is relevant to all of this. they’re not going to have gotten together for the shittiest high school reunion if not for the connection of Friendship, this is about adults but it’s about that childhood plotline still, so Twelve Year Olds’ Friendships still stands / is relevant, so we can even fathom these adults having a connection, b/c yes they Didn’t have it as they got older there, but now they’re jumping back into it actually, b/c magic, and because also this is Directly About (Childhood) Trauma which was also like, hey damn, even outside the stephen king oeuvre & its tendencies (solid & wretched), this is also transcending grievances i so often have with Horror, as someone who likes horror and doesn’t like horror but likes horror but doesn’t like it, and just like. questionable employment of [you Are bothering to focus on Character, and their emotional arcs being entirely relevant to the story here] when sometimes it’s like, do you need a story? the strength of horror shorts to just go “was that fucked up or what.” do you need the characters with the emotional arc relevance at all, or is it just a little avatar walking around with enough vague motivation to have / see / make fucked up shit happen? are they particularly characterized to play into some Metaphor, what’s that metaphor, is it shit, is the execution of it shit. and oftentimes Trauma is just like, idk, it’s like well here’s this person’s Weakness, and it being horror that’s more likely to make it into a Fatal Flaw, like way to have trauma you dumbass, if you were so weak as to fail to just get over it already / Overcome it, you just might be killed for it
annoying, shallow and hackneyed, insulting, etc, and it’s also like, the Individual Focused emotional journey like and here this character who’s been weakly propped up by the Stronger people supporting them will have to go through the crucible of being alone, facing down their Issue like their trauma, and getting through it in this big dramatic one and done way so they can finally stop being a pussy and an obstacle to others. or else fuck it up & die. and it’s like do you know how this works lmfao (no) why shouldn’t the support help. why should it Have to go away. why shouldn’t everyone be crowdsourcing their emotional support amongst their group lmao and never needing to “overcome” it Forever, alone. and that’s at least mostly what gets to go on in It lmfao, like, so obviously this is About Childhood Trauma. whereas It = any of the forces that make people act in ways that create, facilitate, or simply passively allow trauma. (or just some shit that really fucks shit up sometimes i guess.) and you have kids who get caught Alone getting got. but then you have a larger group of some twelvish year olds who are like alright fuck this then, and that’s enough to get through it, the same way that naturally in the less magical / more literal realm of their lives, that friend group & joining forces & providing this like actually (relatively) safe and supportive environment amongst themselves is what protects them & makes everyone a lot more of a force to be reckoned with than they are when out / caught on their own. and it just doesn’t happen to be about choosing to write about like, and then all these kids got picked off one by one anyways, despite their efforts, f. which like i guess it could be, but when the Point is so Directly about the emotional support some kids get from each other / that they Are crowdsourcing protection re: their individual vulnerabilities, that wouldn’t really emphasize that Point so much if regardless of the [having a friend group] everyone was fucked anyways. or the fact that like, again, this is About trauma and what can create it and how that can persist and all, the Magic Rules are about the emotional component of it all, when it’s like, oh this just so happens to be a magic murder entity that’s picking off kids but also prefers to torment them and/or like idk takes the route of going “oh you’re gonna hate this” and hooks up their consciousness via usb cable to the zillionth dimension void & then sips their life force through a crazy straw, or, as it would be to clown entities, a normal straw, and i dunno, that if the usb is unplugged vs eternal living death then the torment juice can give people the interdimensional premonition / telepathy across space & probably time shine(tm) like good for them i guess. call that hypervigilance?
and then that like, into the Adults timeline, not only is there this cheat like woops a stephen king story where adults are friends b/c they’ve reconnected the usb cables where the [friends like the ones i had when i was twelve] has now become immediately relevant and active again, i was like, mad man cinema contemplation meme a bit confused going into the second half until i realized some particular fact of the plot And it was slowly like....we’re kind of goofin huh, is this Being Funnier? b/c i mean, the first one wasn’t not ever funny or like otherwise not super solemn & heavy, and also i’m just Used to horror to the point it’s not gonna like bother me probably, i was watching alone and turned off the lights b/c i couldn’t adjust my screen’s lighting levels & the overhead light in here was gonna create glare via the mirror behind me, and i didn’t think anything of it at any point, i had to also be like “@ me, okay stop saying ‘me’ the moment you realize anything [A Scary Moment] is transpiring for no especial reason,” and yknow, it’s like a roller coaster to me, or i’d say like being tickled except actually i hate that one & will start physically fighting lol, where it’s like yeah aaaaaa but it’s fun & i’m Humored really, i’m experiencing the [horror & comedy are two sides of the same coin], when i’m startled or going like oooh that was, to be sure, creepy, it’s still like, ahaha, i’m figuratively tickled, going :] at the screen, i especially liked the same [ooh hehe yeah that’s eerie] type of moments in both halves like yeah very [your standard marble hornets enjoyer] of me....but anyways so then it did take me an extra few moments maybe in the second half like oh is this Markedly More Humorous? oh it is, then....sort of unexpected but then it immediately makes sense and was Fascinating like, oh, this is so In Conversation With the first movie and with the Overall Story here lmao. like, we are illustrating the Perspective Shift, the [kids timeline] is still relevant and defines everything that’s going on, but they Are adults now and That itself is relevant. b/c otherwise it’s like, it Is just the same situation played over again lmfao like damn we were the [kids fight & defeat a murder sewer clown monster] and now we’re the [adults fight & defeat a murder sewer clown monster]. and Of Course It Makes Sense for there to be overall more Drama for the kids, who are more so just living & immersed in their normal lives in that storyline, and of course, Are Kids, where like anything “was that fucked up or what” that’d happen would be more intense & threatening, and sure applying that perspective like, not only “yeah i’m just experiencing some media, but if that was really happening in life that’d be fucked up, if it was happening for real to me, i’d be like, whoa uh oh holy shit aaaa” lmao, and then an Additional layer of “and if i was twelve” like “yeah aaaa oh shit” way compounded by that, naturally. 
but then i’m Also like, listen, i’d be more like halfway through my 27 yr time jump but i’m the adult with cptsd lmao and so i’m Madmen In The Theatreing because of this angle as well, and intrigued, positively, by the uptick in levity about everything. wherein it’s like okay, it’s sure Also true that like, undo the [and if you were twelve] angle, but The Same kind of fucked up shit happening would of course still be like well this sucks, and is startling, to Anyone who’s an adult, right. But Also like, again the way it’s relevant to touch base with the [kids] timeline, because that’s Defining Everything, this isn’t just “and they’re adults which means everyone’s just tougher than they were when they were kids” and That’s That, it’s like, these are adults who were these specific kids with specific experiences vulnerable to and exposed to bonus trauma, and now this is a “time to jump back in to a head on confrontation with that” plotline but As A Group again rather than this being just the story of like any individuals, or just the main kid/guy, who is now to be sure the [the middle aged writer guy of a stephen king story] lmfao, congrats....and you had [repressed memories but like, magically extensively encompassing] as the device here to as what allows for this outlier scenario of like “but how can adults possibly maintain friendships formed organically in their youth? well, they didn’t lol. but now they’re back.” and the past Has to be relevant and freshly Active because again, this Is directly about trauma lol, not just about whatever broader thing and anyone might secretly have this Hangup or two that’ll get them got. and they all Know this lol, this may be some exclusive knowledge more broadly, but this is Not a secret amongst this group of adults like ah yes my marinating issues that nobody suspects i have....which is a bonus to [even though they’re adults in a stephen king story they don’t all or even mostly have to die] and then like, as i am trying to get around to, that it’d be Different being just any adult approaching this as a new situation to them vs being an adult With Trauma(tm) lol like. the way that one might go “well, this would suck for anyone, but i have a different vulnerability b/c [cptsd involving this shit]” but Then Also the resilience that nobody should have to have and it’s technically a “strength” even though then actually people interpret their [lack of honed ability through direct life experience to cope indefinitely with traumatic experiences] as the strength, a la “wow why’s that person put up with that, i wouldn’t stand for it b/c isn’t it So Clearly Bad & Unpleasant?” victim blaming mentality and people “used” to that shit “putting up with” said shit, which other people would throw up their hands like Wow Just No and walk away from. which in turn isn’t a “weakness” lmao like, there’s no moral judgments to being someone w/trauma or someone without it. that people shouldn’t Have to have cptsd or Resilience, of course, but then that they do. i’m certainly relating to like, yeah it’s Magic Rules / Exaggeration the way that only people young enough can detect & deal with this shit directly, the first time around, and then that they still have access to it as adults presumably b/c of that exposure as kids and because [the childhood trauma doesn’t just Go Away b/c you grew up, even though Also people just think that it ought to or like wow so immature or wow you’re Letting it affect you too strongly still, huh] etc. and anyways, relating to like, yeah enjoyed the way some adults would just be cool & generally supportive, but i also only had so much access to such adults, all Through parents or via school where it’s like, yeah but all the adults there have to Make Sure You’re Behaving Properly in various ways that lead to [punitive] ends and if anyone’s being like particularly supportive / understanding that’s a personal individual choice & they’re probably going Above & Beyond. kind of impressed how useless, and actively unhelpful / counterproductive, any adults were later on when i was dealing with it all the more / had it coming to a head in ways lol, didn’t have an epic friend group i hung out with at twelve or ever who Knew Me that well or i shared anything with or got lifechanging emotional support from, but there Were occasions of like, yeah these peers get it, huh. and now with the perspex of [cptsd having adult] it’s like, yeah, i’d have repeated dreams of parents showing up & i start physically fighting them off with like a shovel and shit lmfao. even now when i rarely have dreams ft. like a more general monster / menacing figure, like i did last night, go figure, Dream Me is always like Oh Okay and immediately physically charges them unarmed lmfao. (also had a dream cameo where some guy on a home computer who was making up like building / engineering schematics? was a Wrole like omg hey buddy. unfortunately a limited interaction, that plot got quickly waylaid by the one where i launch myself at some entity. booo) i can be like “ah, here goes the adrenal response” mostly only noticing sometimes when it’s like, my physical tension has gone to the point of [i can notice my legs/knees shaking], i can also Not Notice It / not think of it b/c you know, it’s like this is truly mundane / everyday shit, in the Relative / Comparative way that it can be. it can be stealth mission time to do some ordinary shit like you live in a survival horror game. it can also go “yeah i could very easily see how if, say, there was this manifestation of trauma / the shit that causes/facilitates/sustains/allows it, i’d go sicko mode on that shit just immediate physical attack” lmao. i know if i’m startled it’s like, that can be a) ordinary, and/or b) unpleasant, and probably c) immediately followed by my being ready to go sicko mode, possibly being a bit pissed off lol. like i can’t even be worried like oh no it’s nighttime what if something was menacing. like yeah that’d be scary and suck, i might get got, i’d also immediately be pissed off like fucking try me you asshole. and it’s like, again the way comedy is A Framework, it’s not what happens when a situation is Lighthearted, Unserious, Frivolous, etc. the like, obvious fact like wow people who are funny can be sad? can have had some fucked up, Serious experiences? can even joke about that? like yeah of course humor can be Deliberately Employed To Cope, including to even communicate about shit, where you’re cueing hard like, i’m not necessarily collapsing under the weight of this right now but it’s a reality and when i’m telling you about it with Humor it’s not in turn asking for you to fix it or even do anything about it at all except be listening to / comprehending the info i’m giving you. and that even looking back on shit can be funny To You because it’s just like, sure Elevated and can be a bit absurd. so it’s like oh yeah of course it’d be funnier, in a way characters are aware of & actively interacting with lmfao. like of course any adult would be like “jesus christ. yikes. aaaa” lol while also being more inclined and able to tackle bullshit right off, but Also being specifically an adult with the [this is your childhood trauma] can be like, yes i’m both still affected by and vulnerable to this shit, but i’m Also less vulnerable than some rando might be, actually, and prepared to / more used to this, and able to go “jesus christ yikes aaaa lmfaooo ahaha” about it. like, i feel that lol. 
paragraph break just because that one was getting Extra long: oh and also the matter of Genre Awareness, that this isn’t just some fucked up shit that happens to be scary and fuck your shit up, but this is expressly an antagonist coming after you with the intention to be scary to you, and you Know that, you are aware you’re in a Horror Genre situation lmao, so meta, surely helpful. and sure sometimes i felt the like comedy vs horror; comedy vs drama sometimes didn’t transition perfectly like, my kind of feeling ambivalent at this one point like uhhh is this scene more straightforwardly dramatic? hmm i guess it was. well anyways. but that’s fine, meanwhile continually delighted even to realize like, here we are going over this all again but with this Shifted Perspective / Framework, we’re clearly goofin a bit. and like how i can clap & cheer like ooh yeah that was creepy lmfao, i got Got comedically like idfk dozen times or what all. ahehe....not to mention the [i Am going insane. society] experience of scrungy expression spit take coughing laughter when overlaying [titanic guy going HaHaHaHaHaHaHa XD as the camera lifts away from overhead] upon [mad man serious contemplation of cinema png] while experiencing like wow the gay Text is more textual than i though, more extensive, turns out i had some things to go into entirely afresh without going “oh yeah, i remember what i osmosis’d about this” to then go :0 =0 about, or that i didn’t quite get Everything through osmosising that i did recall, to then spit take about and become titanic guy fifty times over. i Am a bit joker mode, you really just have to be. and laughing about [when stephen king and PPL go “you know this type of guy” and we all go “yeah i guess. i know Of them [possible knowing looks amongst ourselves, or to the camera]” and then they go “you know how they’re—” and then our answers of “maybe like gay or some shit” overlaps with their “just another heterosexual amongst all the rest of us, unless we’re gay, but we’re talking about how all the protagonists we write are cishet i guess?” like. haha. what an alignment, good for everyone in the overlap....oh and i was like ahahaha when the podcast discussion of The Book Specifically nevertheless had one guy knowing the lore already that the stephen king cameo here as Some Secondhand / Pawn Shop Type Place Owner Guy was someone who, in stephe’s (not a typo, making stephe as = steven happen, with particular enunciation of the ph vs v) own written text as the description of That Guy in the book, is like, this gay caricature who is like wearing some mesh or i think they said it said “fishnet” shirt and like clearly reading this gay porn mag. because how else would someone be gay lmfao? how else would you Know you’ve encountered one of them?? lmfao like, a) i also agree with the podcasters who are like, stephe’s a coward for not staying true to that specific description he wrote when cameo’ing as that person, and b) like, people are gay, stephe....but classic matters of [running down a hallway going Noooo and knocking shit down behind you while being chased by [the way stephen king writes about [take your pick] and/or just like, what do you think is going on in life re: [take your pick] exactly, stephen king, i swear] lol)
anyways This has turned into [gif of the guy emphatically pointing at a laptop and also at some unseen listener to this Serious Monologue] because i have endless things to say about anything. the point it it’s like, well hey i think that was remarkably successful re: choosing to have Characters with Emotional Arcs tied to a Metaphor in this horror media, when usually i’m like, the execution of this is so shit that it’s like, just don’t have characters lol, don’t try to make it a metaphor (although you know, difficult for it not to be tied to anything irl, so don’t be unaware of how it Could be), if it’s gonna be this kind of a mess. the fact that like, you can’t have [trauma] be a character weakness fatal flaw that gets them got b/c they weren’t individually Strong Enough, b/c this is All About a) having & interacting with that [trauma] first and foremost and b) how having a group of relationships affects that (helpfully). my pleasant surprise about how like yeah of course you can’t just make the exact same movie again but i wasn’t necessarily expecting a noticeably more outright comedic angle for round two, but duly kinda delighted by it, and that felt very Appropriate and Verisimilitudinous for the new angle of And You’re Completely Grown. that stephen king Rarely writes about relevant friendships and all the more rarely to never writes about relevant friendships between Adults but whoops, that happened here, b/c there was a magical workaround where “drifting apart” was not entirely congruous to the real life literal actual way that’d happen, and b/c the way this is about childhood trauma means that the Rest of that childhood is relevant to adulthood / adult identities, and he ends up with “god, does anyone?” being answered by “yeah, sometimes” lol. and yeah being a deh enjoyer / being haunted byer / analyzer means anytime something is About the connections someone, say a young person for one, might make and how that can be relevant to All Their Issues, i’m sitting up & taking notes like oh ya don’t say. that stephen king shit overall is like, well this is Interesting and i could talk all day but i’m also like, personally more ambivalent and bound to run over like hey stephe i’m shoving you around, bitch. until we form an unlikely, begrudging alliance to instead go after stanley kubrick, then boo the the shining movie, but whatever. the the shining book ending, one of the few things i particularly remember from actually reading that one, is true like, stephen king endings tending to be a hot mess that maybe aren’t super successful but here we are and it was like, why’d it get so goofy all of a sudden lmfao like i’m telling you with the schrodinger’s boiler that’s old and temperamental and if you don’t maintain it it’ll blow up probably, and that the way things end in the book is the [middle aged dime a dozen writer man protag] being possessed by a hotel is like oh fuck me lmfao, not the boiler i can’t maintain myself even though i’m possessing a hotel, it hasn’t been maintained, and then as always in any of these stories things go off the rails and yakety sax starts to play while after hanna barbera cartoon scrambling in place for a second, your haunted hotel avatar starts sprinting to the basement or wherever it was but Too Late, it blows up and the hotel dies kind of. and that’s kinda fun and funny lol but yknow, put it back in. beating up kubrick aside, i’ve seen all of? nigh all of? wasn’t paying much attention. the movie and it’s like oh okay whatever. but as with like [anything stephen king] and my not even being born till the 90s, it’s like, i can’t possibly experience this afresh, we can all agree that surely this is the best known stephen king work b/w book & film adaptation, even among biggies that really just permeate pop culture overall, who can know what i’d think if these things were New and pre [own significant influence on relevant genres / mediums] or also i was a younger reader/viewer at the times as people could often be. but i was like....expression where you scrunch your face up and look to the side like “are you seeing this” bemusement like...this is. fine i guess? it’s not really scary lmfao. and regardless, resurrecting kubrick to beat him up. but on that note it’s also funny that god knows why i ever mentioned the hypothetical of watching the shining once in passing to my mom, it would’ve been humorous / not in earnest b/c no way would i have been suggesting we watch that or even that i had watched it necessarily, so i Think i must’ve just been informing her of some things that were on tv at that moment with some goofy but technically accurate suggestions like that one, and she is a bit indignant like clearly disapproving of the general idea because, as she says, she doesn’t think it’s Right to tell kids they should ever be afraid of their parents. but between “but like. they go axe murder possessed by a hotel mode here, wherein i think it’s very appropriate?” and [someone who watches It and keeps looking into the camera one zillion times / is fascinated by the fact it’s like oh wow, any horror talking about What If You Had Trauma that isn’t like fundamentally misguided throughout and probably egregiously insulting about it] i take a perfectly comedically timed pause and then we freeze frame on my doing a spit take Laugh into my own drink. not actually in the real moment lol, i just Say Nothing and file that one away lmfao
oh and as a little postscript here i want to shoutout my going “just like Watch Your Step in goosebumps the musical the phantom of the auditorium” where it’s like, schrodinger’s warning about how a kid could just up and accidentally die via this trapdoor or like anywhere anytime, but you don’t really realize that b/c you’re kids, but I’m Telling You. and like, he’s right in general to be sure, you can just die, as well as unknowingly right of course like oops yeah some kid did just up and suddenly die via this trapdoor, grimly. and that’s Stand By Me / The Body handshake emoji It, like of course that mortality is ever relevant particularly in horror, but that also it’s like, kids realizing the reality and Proximity of that, like You Can Die, this could be you or could’ve been you. [horror, and it’s middle schoolers] wins again
#how long is this. and i could've gone on lol. if i have anything to say i Can [never shut up]#it#like what even addendums could there be for the tags....like don't even start b/c of course i could max shit out#i guess the Interesting Fun Fact that in doing research the podcasters were able to be like#''well i'm not Sure abt this; the source was maybe vague & it Would be vague; but that naturally ofc plenty of story elements in#stephen king stuff can be things where he's like yeah [xyz] was directly inspired by some real life shit [abc]'' and that like there was#Maybe this childhood event where he saw a friend / some other kid get hit by a train but then right off fully blacked out on that memory#which obviously would be pertinent here re: Remembering Litchrelly Nothing abt childhood till it all suddenly is brought back into play#but also like the part of stand by me included a scene like woops Almost getting hit by a train. dunno if that's in the short story though#but i'm gonna say Probably Yeah. plus learning again via the podcast like oh stephe got mega hit by like a minivan in '99? i was 5 lol#so i would not have been aware of that news. and i have not since Caught Up on the man's life history. nice not dying there#there was probably some other sidebar i wanted to throw in here but i forget and quick let's post this before I Keep Going On & On#scrolling up ''oh this isn't That long'' scrolling back down ''oh wait maybe it is kinda long''#it's all relative. i like horror i dislike horror. i said a lot i was so concise.#for one thing lmfao like sure is Interesting how; say; i was always Intrigued by horror as a kid even#like i think that's true for plenty of people & there's more than one way to enjoy a genre & s/o to Horror Expressly For Kids or anything#expressly for kids when it's like good & genuine & apropos it's Not just necessarily abt diluted or lesser versions of that For Adults#but anyways like i Also though def experienced like; this does freak me out & in an [i'm not having fun] way. But I Also persisted lol#like me thinking ''but i have to power through & build up a tolerance here'' when like; of course i really Didn't. why would i.#did that re: like thrill rides too sometimes; kinda liking them & the suspense; kinda really not; at least for a good while#i Did build up a tolerance &/or just how i got older & now i think all thrill rides are entirely Fun. except just straight drop towers maybe#haven't tried one lol but i've tried like roller coasters that are supposed to be Especially intense & i didn't even realize like oh. huh.#like it was fine actually lol we have fun...and same with horror; again how like yeah i'm not expecting Especially Intense but yeah ofc i'm#gonna fire this shit up alone in the dark & never think anything of that. munch crunch#like hmmmmm re: my being a little kid who Was bothered more by such shit sometimes while also intrigued / having fun#but who regardless was like Well I Have To Try To Be Okay With It / seek it out & power through. vs ppl who are just like well no i don't#enjoy or like horror stuff particularly and/or roller coasters lol. compare & contrast & contextualize w/me also being a little kid who is#experiencing trauma & trauma responses as what is for me some mundane / everyday / par for the course / Anytime shit lol and of course i do#not have the info / context / perspective / framework to realize this. so i get distressed by ''that Would be fucked up'' but what else is#new or what have you? why shouldn't i also go ''well i guess i have to Get Good at tolerating this / Enduring it'' lmao
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uglyshirtsinc · 2 years
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I love the human body so much and I don't mean in a medical sense but in the sense that I adore how people look, I adore how old statues and paintings show the beauty of a human body, I love that we've reached a point that people are proud of what once was a huge insecurity, I love seeing people include it in their art. I love hip dips and broad shoulders, I love seeing different types of noses and eyes, I love the different face shapes a person can have and i know that if I hadn't gotten so into art I never would've noticed and admired all these things that make a person different. I love how some people look as if they're nothing but lanky bone, or some folks are fat and round, I like that even in that there's differences. I adore that bodies are different and I honestly can't understand insecurities because it's all so gorgeous to me. I sound like a broken record but I just love it all so much, the human body is amazing and beautiful in every aspect whether a person has a feature or not, or has different features, it's all just so lovely
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mntcoronet · 2 years
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*pause moment* hey why the fuck did I just realise that during high school, I felt like a fair number of my peers (from outside my friends group) treated me somewhat more "softly" or like a child than they would've done with other people. and why was that
#maggles ramblings#like idk if they were actually doing that or if that's just what i Felt was happening#but. when they'd have to talk to me for things; like short 'do this in pairs' stuff; i def felt like they treated me differently#like I'd point out something in the thing we were looking at and they'd go 'oh wow good observation!!' as if we weren't the same age#maybe they just acted differently cos they didn't wanna be doing it. which like sure. but man u could at least try to discuss the topic#or did i seem like too much of a shy little creature that only just learned human speech that they forgot i was competent enough to get A's#but hhh man idk. i never know how people perceive me that's the real issue here#i can sorta make estimations based on how they talk to me; i can tell well enough if someone just doesn't wanna keep talking to me#but that doesn't mean i can figure out WHY. but i do know that sometimes it feels like.. they pick up on something about me#like i can roughly tell whether the person talking to me still considers me Just A Normal Guy or if they've realised like 'hey...#this person doesn't quite Get It with regards to social/conversation stuff'. bc of the way they talk. but i still never know why!!#like sure every time i go have conversations with new people i feel like I'm just pretending to be A Normal Person yknow#and when other people who seem very socially competent Keep talking to me i just think oh wow you haven't figured it out yet that's wild#figured what out? idk that I'm just pretending i guess. about what? uh good question just pretending in general#pretending like i know what to say; that it feels completely Natural to talk like that; like I'm not mentally rating each of my actions#but then sometimes there's people i just feel like i don't have to do that around nearly as much. i swear i gravitate towards those ppl#but yeah it's just. it def feels like they know I'm Not Getting something when i talk to a lot of people. like they Know i missed a memo#and i don't even know what the memo is about; or whether I've gotten any of the previous memos or just absorbed the knowledge#by observing things. ya#ok im done with that train of thought i need to go and work on that au i accidentally stayed up till 2am last night thinking of ideas for
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