It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.
The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.
The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.
The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.
The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?
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Nie Huaisang, after the events of the book: ah, finally. My enemy is dead, my bro came back to life and is married, my revenge plan is complete. I can have peace after so many years.
Nie Huaisang, coming back home: oh fuck true my sect is broke
I love him babygirl is going to spend the next 10 years trying to solve the socio-economic problems that he created.
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actually I am going to talk about jamie not being able to shoot the zombie in the age of ambition like. he's holding a gun. he's faced with something which is human-shaped but no longer a human, which is actively posing a threat to him and his friends. and he just freezes. he can't do anything.
and we never see jamie shying away from combat with non-human/non-humanoid enemies. he's happy enough to destroy the quarks, for instance. and he'll get into fights with humans/humanoid beings if it's non-lethal. but he actively turns down weapons when he gets into a fight with one of the gonds. the most we ever see him do is swordfight with trask at the end of the highlanders. and even there, he doesn't actively /kill/ - he pushes trask overboard. clearly that's not a death sentence, seeing as ben had already survived the same swim back to shore. and if trask does end up dying? jamie won't necessarily know about it. he's not directly responsible.
so I just think. jamie, who never killed anyone in the war. jamie, who's a piper, who's a musician rather than a soldier. he's not unable to fight, because he duels trask, and he's not afraid to threaten people, because he holds two and ben and polly at knifepoint. he's not naive, because he stands at the window and watches alexander die. but he's never killed anyone himself. jamie, who's consumed with survivor's guilt, always wondering if he should have done more, if his cowardice ever condemned someone else to death - but also always knowing that he could never have done it, being sickened by the part of him that feels guilty for having no blood on his hands.
jamie, who looks into the eyes of something that's not even human anymore, and can't look away, and can't pull the trigger.
and what does that do to him, then? months, maybe a year after he's left his war behind? he stands there with a weapon in his hands and he can't bring himself to defend two of the people he loves most in the world. victoria has to grab the gun out of his hands and do it for him. this young girl who he's fiercely protective of has to shoot someone, all because he can't. there's blood on her hands, now, and none on his. he wishes he could have been the one to take that shot, to carry that burden for her, and even then he can't help but hate himself for wishing. he's trapped there forever. the feeling goes round and round in circles and it never ever goes away.
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Yknow what I don't get... counters/bar seating where it's you sitting with several strangers usually, (or alone) and the bartender/server staring at you 😭
I know it's for people who drink or dine alone and that they feel comfort in that bc they can talk to the server or bartender, or their neighbor, or just watch tv. But it to me is hell 😭
I hate my back being to the door, I hate people watching me eat, and I would feel like I had a spotlight on me. Especially since the bar is usually in the middle/front of the place.
For me, my ideal seating is in a booth, away from other customers if possible (but I know that's not always available)
I guess they get spinny chairs and that's cool
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