#whereas it feels like i haven't leveled up my writing in years

[hopefulqueer]

i rly like that i'm at a place with my art where i can literally see the improvement from one piece to the next

[tyrannuspitch]

another thing that's really uncomfortable about the comics backstory is that it's very often like. 1. loki was adopted as a ~10 year old, not a baby, and therefore 2. his heritage was never even remotely a secret. and in this circumstance i feel like thor being abusive (esp from the start) is... so much worse?

like, in the mcu with its secrecy and early adoption, you can say that if thor mistreats loki, it's at least partly because he's semi-consciously picking up on their parents not treating loki as equal, but he doesn't know why, so it's just How Things Are (and always have been, literally as long as he can remember!). like, loki being abused is normalised at a fundamental level for thor. and if odin and frigga don't intervene, well, they've already proven their willingness to treat loki as inferior by lying to him his whole life. the mcu is definitely its own kind of horrifying, but it's a quiet and insidious kind, and you can see how the characters could be gradually led into worse and worse actions over time.

whereas in comics canon, where everything is out in the open from the start... thor mistreating loki just looks like straightforward, conscious prejudice. even if he claims otherwise, it's really hard to believe that space racism ISN'T a factor. sure, you just decided your adopted-brother-from-a-completely-dehumanised-enemy-species is your inferior for... no reason. convincing! and the parents not intervening is like... they don't even have anything to hide??? why would you even be hands-off about this unless you literally, consciously want it to happen? it's literally just like. "hey 'dad' you know the boy you told to treat me like a brother last week? well he isn't doing that. he's using me as a punchbag instead" "oh. how sad, my son." "are you going to tell him to stop???" "no."

like, when mcu thor calls loki his brother i believe him. i really do think that mcu thor truly and deeply sees loki as his brother, and himself and loki as fundamentally tied together (to a potentially unhealthy extent), etc etc. but sometimes when comics thor calls loki his brother it's like... okay, but you've never treated him like a brother. you have spent your whole life punishing him for being different at every opportunity. but now that you want to scold him, you're brothers? this is not love! this is an excuse!!!

like. i may not be being entirely fair to the comics here; there may be far better and more complex versions i haven't found yet. but just based on my experience so far... in the mcu, "they hurt you but they're your family" is this elaborate manipulative mind game where everyone involved really does love each but finds ways to justify the abuse anyway, so love and abuse are inseparable and often expressed by the exact same act, and this causes fundamental damage to the sons' concept of what love even is, whether love without abuse is *possible*, whether ceasing to love "family" is *possible*, etc etc... whereas in many of the comics, "they hurt you but they're your family" is like. those are literally the only two things they do. they hurt you, and then they SAY you're their family to stake ownership while doing absolutely nothing to prove their alleged love, not even the barest scraps of affection, ever. like come on??? i would cause the apocalypse over and over too!!!

(and as i said before - the situation being bad doesn't make the writing bad. but this continuous hand-wringing and pretending that thor's part in it is more complicated and more sympathetic than they ever actually show... does.)

[victimized-martyr]

Do you think Kenny actually likes cartman? I’m not so sure since the reading of his will in s9e4 (https://youtu.be/QGx92r8NLIM)

I feel like nobody likes him but Kyle is the only one who thinks he can possibly get better at all.

I agree on some level with that last statement. Due to Kyle's morals and complicated attachment to Cartman, he would be the only one willing to nurture the potential Cartman has, though I'd say Cartman isn't universally hated as one would assume. I think Kenny and Cartman's friendship deepened off screen since s9. It shows itself strongly in the covid specials and post-covid (not post covid the special, I mean like.. after the actual irl covid and.. ARGH mattrey u make my life so difficult)     

      Kenny was the one to approach Cartman about the fragility of the broship and inspires Cartman to be the one to make sure the gang stays together. That's a level of openness and vulnerability that frankly, I haven't seen him share with Stan or Kyle. Quite the opposite in fact-- When Kenny finally admits he's immortal, Stan and Kyle dismiss him in their own way. Neither have made the move to sympathize with him since, especially at the level Cartman does in the covid episodes. Now, Cartman's "sympathetic" method of coddling Kenny wasn't the best thing to do I'd say, the show was clear  Stan, Kyle and Cartman weren’t handling the broship fallout well, but Cartman definitely proved himself as the “best friend” the show has claimed he’s been in prioritizing Kenny during Covid. We even get a verbal reminder from Cartman and Kyle in Post-Covid that despite it being the literal worst future for everyone, Cartman and Kenny’s friendship thrived. With the opposite lives they lead, it's astounding they remained best friends for forty years.

That level of loyalty is kicking Stan and Kyle in the dirt and laughing rn. Look at Dikinbaus! Cartman and Kenny had a blast “planning the business” (ie living it up as owners and mutually taking advantage of Butters to just pal around) and Cartman once again concedes to Kenny when he lets him work from home. It’s a gag first and foremost, but still, I think it works as part of character analysis lolol. I’m analyzing this a lot from Cartman’s perspective, or at least his actions, but I don’t rlly have much to go by on Kenny’s end and I hope y’all can see why lol. excluding the Mysterion arc and the s22 Halloween episode, he’s a passive character. things rly just are happening to this dude. 

Cartman's attachment to Kenny has grown exponentially since the early seasons ("I hate yew guys/ specially kinny/ ah hate em the most/") whereas we've heard directly from Kenny what he thought of Cartman at the time s9 was written but we don't really know what he thinks of Cartman presently. Now, mattrey have written Kenny's quietness and frequent disappearances as part of the charm of his character--the mysteriousness with a pinch of hidden sadness, maybe a dash of loneliness--and not like, a serious writing pitfall of not knowing what to do with one of your main characters, not giving them the chance to let the audience see their motivations. So the uncertainty surrounding Kenny's true opinions, in this case of his friendship with Cartman, isn't by accident. I'd say it's fair to assume Kenny now views Cartman as a best friend, given how much Cartman has done for him.

I’d also say it’s fair to assume the pity for Cartman hasn’t changed.

[elderflowergin]

SBS Hyena, episode 1 rewatch (part 1)

I wrote this at least a couple of years ago, and it languished in my drafts after that. It's part episode recap with a dash of style analysis. Disclaimer: I'm not trained in fashion or style writing - anything I know is from reading other people doing style/fashion/costuming analysis. This is meant to be fun, and I hope you have fun reading this if you enjoyed the show, or even if you haven't and were looking for reasons to start.

Okay, let’s hit it! 

This opening of this show is so distracting I did not connect it to the final scene of this episode until after having watched it maybe fifty times. They knew what they were doing, giving us a hot guy in the shower, displaying very fetching abs that probably required Ju Ji-hoon to dehydrate himself for a week. (But let's put a pin in my reflections.) 

Montage aside and speaking of reflections: this is the first time we ever see Yoon Hee-jae in the story. Yes, it’s in his smirking reflection. I guess we could say that's a coincidence, but I also think it means that the way he sees himself is probably not congruent with who he is on the inside, and his arc in this show deconstructs that perception he has (and in a way, we have, as viewers) of Yoon Hee-jae.

This trial gave me the giggles when I re-watched it, because it sounds like Hee-jae and Prosecutor Kwon are having a leisurely - if somewhat antagonistic -  banter over coffee. (This is not unrealistic; it would probably be exhausting to keep up with the yelling throughout.)  

Prosecutor Kwon - or the actor who plays him, Lee Ki-chan - is quite handsome, but they've shafted him here with Coke bottle glasses and unsexily messed-up hair. (I went to look up his name and learned that he played Bae Doona's totally vile, Ha Chan-hoish brother in Sense8, which I never would have known. He's also a talented singer and musician, because hey, why NOT. THE RANGE, YOUR HONOUR.)

That gown is only flattering on one person, and that is one Mr Cho Seung-woo. Who also looks great in thigh high boots and glitter eyeshadow, so you know what, that's not saying much. 

This smirk is both hot, and endlessly immature. Ju Ji-hoon's mouth does lots of good work here. (As Jung Geum-ja can surely attest to, heyo!) 

Ga Gi-hyeok is suited up here (a three-piece, even, which notably only Song Pil-jung wears, to my memory, so this is maybe a bit of a faux pas on his part), but he's not commonly in a suit, often opting for a sweater in the office.

For context: Kang Tae-oh - who memorably played K-Drama's Boyfriend and a paralegal in Extraordinary Attorney Woo - also wears sweaters at the office over shirts, with fairly informal jackets and overcoats, whereas his friend Attorney Kwon - who's about the same age - wears formal, if moderately fun, suits. In Chief of Staff, Lee Jung-jae never wears a white shirt as the titular chief of staff, and only Song Hui-seop, his boss, wears white. The first time we see Lee Jung-jae in white, he's an Assemblyman. I can't say to what extent these patterns are adapted from Korean society, which is probably very regimented and class-bound in its own way, but I really appreciate how fashion and costuming are used to implicitly denote class and status, telling their own story.

A personal aside: as an intern, I once wore a sweater/blouse/skirt combo to work, prompting an acquaintance to ask me why I was dressed like a secretary. In the present day, I absolutely do not care and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dressing “like a secretary” - whatever that means - but back then I remember feeling embarrassed by this, like I’d flouted a rulebook I couldn’t access. Corporate dressing isn’t just about what to wear, it’s about what not to wear and how that might denote that you’re not an insider. 

So Ga Gi-hyeok’s clothes might be reflective of two things: 1) his social class - I don't think Gi-hyeok belongs to Hee-jae's level of upper crust; 2) his base-level  insecurity about his position. That is going to be significant later.

Yes, that is the lovely young sweet Attorney Na, in an olive suit. This is not a colour we see any of the other goslings wearing (goslings, because geese are assholes, and these boys - and they are all boys - seem like baby assholes themselves, except Attorney Mr Na.) 

I hate Ha Chan-ho. I hate the entire Ha family, who are all deliciously great at their jobs of being terrible chaebols. I feel like Ha Chan-ho saw his dad's cravats and went, I want that, but make it 10x douchier. This cravat is not hooked to anything, because he doesn’t wear a shirt. He’ll be taking off that jacket later and he’ll be topless, on the steps of a courthouse. Ew.

-infinity/10, docking points for the lack of a goddamn shirt and also being an abusive jerkface. 

Attorney Ma is wearing a double-breasted suit here and he looks cute. 7/10, because this difficulty setting is high. He’s actually...not wrong about many things, including Yoon Hee-jae’s dick moves. 

Yoon Hee-jae is jacketless here. I don't know if this is a first episode thing, but this changes very, very quickly, as we shall soon see.

We will never again see Yoon Hee-jae UNBUTTONED, with something in his mouth and his SHIRTTAILS HANGING OUT. This was remarkably unusual, because he's almost pathologically buttoned up for the rest of the series. I think this could be one of two things: 1) the costumers were still forming his wardrobe preferences or 2) this was a neat way to get across his carelessness and perhaps, vulnerability to what's about to come. Nonetheless, 9/10 for the messy distracted Yoon Hee-jae. 

I recapped this episode for my Instagram and the concept of a partner in a law firm doing his own laundry was just so ridiculous I dedicated two slides to bitching about it. But now I just don't care, because…

Hot damn. THEM. THEM. 

(To be continued! Next up: love letters to who else but Kim Hye-soo, of course)

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

Writing in spite of everything

I had planned to post a writing update earlier, but over the weekend, I had several days in a row where I couldn't focus and only squeezed out a few messy scenes and ended up feeling miserable.

Granted, the lack of focus resulted from factors I could hardly influence like my last day of work before two weeks of holidays and watching a nail-biting figure skating competition (Cup of China 2023) that tore a hole of several hours into my writing schedule as I had to watch the events while they happened. Not to mention the hours afterwards until I had calmed down and could at least try to write again.

On those 3 days, I wrote in total about as much as I would write on a day of complete hyperfocus. We are talking about word counts, which for most writers would be like a lot. For me, if I have the whole day for writing those numbers are a sign of abysmal focus, which means that writing turns into an ordeal. I'm the kind of person who can go into hyperfocus and see the scene I'm writing in its entirety and live inside the characters, the next scenes and the whole grander scheme of things and go crazy with it. On such days, I can write 10k+ and feel refreshed, elated, and as if I've just woken from a dream when it's over. It's THE writing experience for me.

At least it was until a few years ago. Changes in my day job, social media, and the almost always present weltschmerz of this world having turned into a dumpster fire of hatred and ignorance have destroyed that ability for me. Ironically, in these times, I need to be able to focus like that more than ever in order to stay mentally healthy. Staying focused at a moderate level is already a battle I don't tire to engage in, hoping to eventually experience hyperfocus again (the good news for neurodivergent folks is: you can relearn it!).

It's less the lower word count but the lack of focus that messes with me and bothers me so much. On days where I write only a fraction of what I can create in hyperfocus, my brain is a fragmented mess and my texts have poor characterisation, poor prose, no details or context, and lots of redundant dialogue. Or in other words: it's a mess and I end up being frustrated because I couldn't tap that well inside me that releases that which makes the magic happen.

This NaNoWriMo, my main goal was to regain that focus to somewhat degree. Although setbacks are to be expected, they upset me as they pull me back to a place where I mentally don't want to be. And even worse, in those situations, I'm more vulnerable and more aware of my weaknesses as a writer. So, it's no surprise I started feeling again that my writing is inferior trash that people forget once they're done reading if they are reading it at all (I'm not talking about drafts but completed and fully revised stories). I am keenly aware that I'm not the kind of writer whose writing is well-loved because my stories lack a certain indefinable something I was never able to figure out. (I'm not even sure of that as I have only one completed story on AO3 and it's not the one I love most and I still haven't processed the fact that it was the first that made readers stay until the end whereas for my two most loved stories readers dwindled away or stayed away completely) And as I wrote before in a different post, this creates a feeling of isolation as I connect with other people through my stories which are written with love. In addition to that I had to read another take that made me feel invalidated as the kind of writer that I am, and voilà--the shit hit the fan.

The last two days went better and I'm feeling a bit more confident now, although far from great. This NaNo feels different from all the NaNos I did before and I believe that this plays an additional role. For now, I will continue writing and removing sources that distract me and train my brain to stay focused on one thing for a longer period of time again, and see if this will improve things.

[graytxrminal]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name — Dew (Call me whatever, though. Idrc.)

pronouns — Any/all

preferred comms — Discord, probably. I'm pretty awkward for the first while until I have a more personal conversation with somebody and end up imprinting on them. I'm more active on there than I am on here, but I haven't RPed on there in a hot minute. I'm open to doing it, just haven't done so in a long time.

One Piece Muses Usopp Chopper Katakuri Bon Clay Robin Reiju Viola Zeus Ulti

Project Moon Muses Netzach Yesod Hod

experience in RP — I can't really remember, but I think the first time I got into roleplay was in a server on a minecraft knockoff. I'd give a rough estimate of 4 years total, since there was a period where I just... didn't do it.

best experiences —

pet peeves / dealbreakers — I'm gonna assume that this is SPECIFICALLY roleplay. I'd say that my BIGGEST dealbreaker is when a major serious topic gets involved, especially the felony kind. You've got your standard DNI, and most people here are 18+ blogs.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — Cool fact: I am but a wee little lad at the fresh unripe age of 16, so smut is a no. Pure fluff is practically just Chopper only, whereas most of my other OP/PM muses are more banter-y. Angst also lines up with the majority of them, too.

plot or memes — Either are fine, plotting is preferable. Usually plotting involves talking to a person on a closer level. Typically (based on like, 3 interactions) I become friends with those I plot with. Memes kinda keep people at arm's reach, and I'm a lot more anxious to do inbox stuff with people.

long or short replies — heavily dependent on the rp. Usually more serious/emotional ones are longer, whereas fluff and banter are shorter since I struggle to come up with longer responses to those. It's never me getting bored, I just have no clue what to do.

best time to write — Evenings/night. Usually I'm decompressing after school and just letting the train of thought flow freely, and that gives me some creativity. If I feel like it, of course.

are you like your muse — Since I have a total of twelve, it's kind of a guarantee.

Tagged by - @enruiinas

Tagging - @shibonzakura @melodysian @theallblue @historias-multorum and whoever else comes across this.

[grandhotelabyss]

Do you think people don't really often push them selves to ponder and engadge with work that is beyond just surface level entertainment do to some inate law of life, that some people cant be helped.

Or is it more the fault of the "culture", even maybe an nefarious "dumbing down"? I remember once Logo pointed out how America actually used to be one of the most well read countries just two hundred years ago it really made me think.

Hell even my grandparents who lived through the soviet union seemed to know and enjoy a lot of literature, not even speaking about shit like Operas which are totally foreign to me - and they are quite simple and practical people, so its not like they are an exception.

I don't think we can compare an agrarian society in a fairly primitive state of print culture where everybody spoke sagely because they'd read the King James Bible and only the King James Bible to a complex and increasingly urbanized society where everybody has smartphones. If you read Thoreau, who was writing back in Logo's literate America, he thought his fellow citizens were morons who needed to read the translated Indian and Chinese classics, abandon their business-minded ways, and live closer to nature. It's always something. Those Bible-readers also thought their countryman Melville was a lunatic the minute he started writing unpredictable novels rather than sexy travelogues, and there wasn't a hope in hell of their understanding the visionary poems of their reclusive spinster neighbor Dickinson. Nowadays Thoreau's, Melville's, and Dickinson's schizoposts would be the center of online cults, and they would feel themselves appreciated, not to mention that the asexual Thoreau and the homosexual Melville could live their erotic lives as they wished without being pestered by women trying to marry them or marry them off, while Dickinson—perhaps controversially, she's always seemed straight to me—could at last find a man able to keep up with her. We do enjoy advantages they did not.

You have a point, though, with your comparison between now and the mid-20th-century, when the communist and capitalist worlds both stressed a certain cultural uplift of the masses through their educational institutions and through their media. I'd rather live now than in the 1850s without a doubt, but sometimes the 1950s don't look so bad from the point of view of mainstream culture. I'd say things really have been dumbed down in education and in public culture since then, but, again, it may just be an inevitable result of the changed media landscape. Classical music and serious literature had a more captive audience in 1955 that's just not possible today even if anybody wanted to bring it back—and even that culture tended to be middlebrow, suspicious of certain forms of difficulty or complexity, or else of vulgarity and vitality. In 1955, all the intellectuals were complaining about rock and roll and comic books, whereas now Bob Dylan has the Nobel Prize, and I haven't taught a college-level literature course that wasn't exclusively about comic books in almost five years. And yet I can write and speak about whatever I want online, including serious matters, and I do.

[someobscurereference]

I stumbled across your old Xander/Owain fic again recently and haven't been able to get it out of my head, I love the leo trio with my heart and soul and xanlow is great but there is something so compelling and wholesome about them being in such close proximity for so long bc of Leo and Laslow but not close enough to actually have any sort of relationship with one another otherwise until they finally get a moment alone and are able to forge a connection. I love We Meet Like This At Least Once and it's honestly so aggravating that the only other fics on ao3 under the tag are porn involving one of Xander's siblings in some way, for some reason, and seemingly have absolutely nothing to do with Odin being drawn to Xander's strength of mind, body, and character and the tenderness he embodies with those he trusts and loves nor with Xander getting to see him as the competent, profound, and thoughtful man he is and growing to find his theatrics a welcome familiarity that brightens the moods of those around him and alleviates some of the stress that weighs heavy on his shoulders >:/ Anyway this became a rant whoops but I simply wanted to tell you that I am eternally grateful for your wonderful writing and carrying this rarepair and ask if you've ever thought about how slowly or quickly their relationship would develop after your fic or how you think they may get together in a canonverse setting

(referring to this fic) 🥺🥺 I love!! Rarepairs!! And I'm really glad you liked "We Meet Like This At Least Once" and had fun with it! Because even though that fic was written in 2017, I had fun writing it and honestly would like to see more Xander/Odin fic where nobody expects that to work and keeps assuming they're with someone else or single, but they are wrong. Anyway, I reread my old fics sometimes and thank you for reminding me about this one. :D

Regarding your question of "if you've ever thought about how slowly or quickly their relationship would develop after your fic or how you think they may get together in a canonverse setting," I think in canonverse, Xander/Odin would bond like in the Gay Fates Hack, wherein they meet over swordsmanship and then get to know each other as people through that. In the fic-verse that I wrote specifically (and ignoring any other AUs that could happen), I showed how they got together. In terms of their relationship developing over time, I imagine there would be an engagement in two years or less. I don't know if Owain pays attention to the passage of time; more so his feelings, and they're already pretty solid about how they feel about each other. Owain liked Xander since he was a kid (childhood crush nurtured into love) and Xander, though his feelings took longer for Owain to grow, recognized those feelings within himself a few months before confessing. With this in mind and having grown up together, they have a solid base to work with already.

First few months of the relationship are getting used to each other in a romantic context + getting to know what each other wants out of the future on a deeper level (kids or no kids, what type of living arrangement would work best for them, what does their financial future look like, etc.) and then the next year or so is routine (and not so different from how their friend & family dynamic worked before, though obviously they have to make much more of an effort to see each other now due to their different schedules. Plus the ups and downs of Owain working + rewriting his book for publication while Xander works hard in the office and probably stays late a lot. So I think the time apart would be their biggest hurdle.)

The one difference between them I could see is that if Owain got the idea to take things further first, he'd suggest living together so it wouldn't be so hard to see each other, whereas Xander, raised a bit more formally, would probably have a ring and propose first and say "let's move in together as fiances/as a newlywed couple." A proposal may come as a surprise to some by that point, but Xander would point out that a year and a half/two years is a common amount of time for couples to wait to propose + they already have known each other much longer than that. So what are they waiting for? This would solve so many problems. And Owain would agree in this universe, I think.

Thank you for asking! :D

[avalontypical]

Hi me. It's me.

We had a shit day today and by we, I mean you. An emotional valley is really the best way of putting it. I've just gotten dressed for a run, I'm going to be rained on but it'll give us a good excuse to come back inside early.

I'm typing this. I usually psych myself out about sitting down to my computer desk after work, coveting the couch instead. I don't want to spend more time sitting at a desk when I just spent all goddamned day sitting at a desk. But I'm here. It's reportedly not as bad as I made it out to be in my own head. I type faster than I text so I can nearly do this as stream-of-consciousness proper which is a writing style I haven't used in awhile. Its one I most certainly need.

I've described my last few days as emotional dry-heaving. I think it nicely captures the fact that it's ugly and unpleasent. It also fuels my pity party mindset. Poor Avalon, she's so sick. 

It might be important to note that I was actually pretty sick. It wasn't until after lunch on Friday that I realized that I had probably caught the stomach bug (good work on connecting the dots there) and I powered through for two more hours before hauling home. Talk about JIT. I probably whined on the couch for no more than 25 minutes before I exploded, physically, both ends. Bad time.

Then I woke up Saturday of period blood and sadness (smells like teen spirit?) Some pretty good cramps. Which has me in all sort of doubt about the no-birth-control journey I picked for myself. I had to take all of the medicine for the cramps on an empty stomach becasue I wasn't sure if I could eat food. I lost so much water that my rings easily slipped on an off my fingers. (Super weird, bad bad eating disorder thoughts, that one)  I played D&D. THANK THE UNIVERSE FOR MY FRIENDS. I went to bed at, honest? 5:30.

~~~

I decided to stop logging and go for a run. I did get rained on a little bit and it wasn't my best time But boy howdy, I feel better. I forget that my barely balanced brain needs all of the dolphins it can get. (I will cringe reading this years from now, I know it) Going from a very high up-beat exercise every morning to absolutely nothing probably participated in my mood-crash. I know I still have work ahead of me, but man. I can't describe the clarity that a short run and a cold shower just provided me. I  can't describe what it's like to be freed of the negativity that weighed on me all day. I fear it'll come back to me tomorrow, but that fear is so small, whereas my fears were so all consuming before.

On a side note, I arrived back from my run at the same time Brian pulled in from his trip to the gym. He has a personal trainer now and, despite the groans when he moves around the house,  he said his exercise felt great. I'm proud of us.

And the last note before we part. It feels like my highs are high and my lows are low. It makes getting a grip difficult. Like I'm never coasting through anything. I often envy a neutral ground, someone who can always hold level headed. Who doesn't crash quite as hard. Who isn't so embarassingly excitable. I think there is work to do with acceptance.

[smolljester]

poll results are in. in this post i'm mainly going to be talking about the inspirations/influences for my fic, Fleeting Words.

this post, while mainly talking about how the story eventually came to be, does include spoilers for some majour plot points that happen inside the fic (and some spoilers for other games/series). if you've read the fic and already know what happens, feel free to keep reading. if you haven't read my fic, but want to know what happens before reading (i know that's a thing some people do), feel free to keep reading. that said, there's more under the cut.

the biggest influence, mainly on my writing as a whole, has been and still is, Yoko Taro (NieR, NieR: Automata, Drakengard, etc.). at the same time as me getting Splatoon 3, which was my proper introduction to the series as i never played the other two games beforehand, i also got NieR: Automata The End of YoRHa. it wouldn't be until a few weeks later that a noticed one glaring similarity between the two games that i hadn't noticed before.

both games take place on a post-apocalyptical Earth, over ten thousand years in the future. despite that, both games are jarringly different from one another in terms of outcomes; whereas Automata is borderline nihilistic from the start to the end of the game, Splatoon is its polar opposite. both games are so eerily similar in concept, but are on the opposite ends of the spectrum! "What would the Earth be like over ten thousand years in the future after humans have died?"

NieR: Automata's opening: "Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped... in a never-ending spiral of life and death. Is this a curse? Or some kind of punishment? I often think about the god who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle... and wonder if we'll ever have the chance to kill him."

Splatoon 3 opening: "Think you're fresh? Start splattin', and we'll see!"

before humanity went extinct, they created the androids to preserve their legacy and fight back against the aliens in NieR: Automata. yet in Splatoon, sea life has taken over by means of... crystals that contain the remnants of humanity?

Splatoon as a whole is weird, which shouldn't be surprising; you play as a humanoid squid/octopus that can actively change forms and has ink running through their system. but i find myself drawn to a lot of strange concepts, the next bit of influence might sound off, but just hear me out. Godzilla.

the king himself, Godzilla! it's out of the blue, i know, but again, hear me out. Godzilla's whole thing is that he's a massive creature born of radiation. whether he be some preserved dinosaur, or an iguana, or something else, Godzilla is mutated to be the way he is because of radiation. now what does this have to do with Splatoon?

before the events of Splatoon, as evidenced by the short manga in the Splatoon 1 artbook, a number of different wars took place, with one of them launching a nuclear warhead into the South Pole, which caused water levels to rise drastically. now this (probably) won't be addressed in my fic as it's mostly background knowledge, but i might as well say it here. combined with the 'crystals' and likely nuclear waste that was left behind by the warhead, it's safe to say that sea life turned out the way it did in Splatoon because of a mixture in both factors. and in some rare genetic mutations for the Inkling and Octolings, a Kraken can emerge. (i made a whole post about Krakens that i'll link here.)

moving on. the biggest thing about me creating this fic in the first place was just one big "What if?" a lot of Marie's personality reminded me of my mother, and i know that some people interpret Agent Four as being her adopted kid, and one day i just had the thought of, "Well, what if Agent Four was actually related to Marie?" and i decided to follow in the footsteps of Yoko Taro and add some angst to the mix.

it's hard to pinpoint every single thing that gave me inspiration/influence, so i'll try to wrap this up with one final piece. the Octarians.

everyone loves the Octarians, right? i mean, sure, they don't have a lot of lore to them in-game or even in the artbook, but hey! that's what headcanons are for! a lot, and i mean A LOT, of inspiration for the Octarians came from Japan itself. there's not a lot known on their culture or their language, apart from the fact that it DOES exist; so i did what every reasonably sane person does and compare the different versions of Splatoon from Japanese and English.

for one, the Octoling/Octarian characters that are present in my fic have names that are mostly references to other pieces of media that i like. but, like every name, there's a meaning behind them. here's a few: Kotone (in reference to the sound of the koto and the FeMC for Persona 3), Naoto (meaning "honest/esteemed" and a reference to Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4), and Chihiro (meaning "a thousand questions" and a reference to Chihiro from Spirited Away.)

the political hierarchy of the Octarians is based around the "Four Auspicious Beasts," which are the symbols of the cardinal directions in Eastern mythology; the white tiger (West), the azure dragon (East), the black tortoise (North), and the vermillion bird (South). each of the Icons, as they are referred to in my fic, are in charge of specific aspects of Octarian society. Suzaku (the vermillion bird) oversees construction, technology, etc.; Genbu (the black tortoise) oversees geographical overlay, weather (on the surface), etc.; Seiryu (the azure dragon) oversees healthcare, farming, etc.; and Byakko (the white tiger) oversees military, law enforcement, etc.

granted, the Byakko, which is a title reserved specifically for the Emperor/Empress, creates the laws and oversees everything. "The Byakko's word is absolute."

that's about everything i'm okay with talking about on this post before i give too much away. take what you will, and have a good day. don't forget to drink some water!

[atlaese]

Spencer with a s/o who feels like Spencer deserves someone better 🥺 if you have anything already written like this i apologize!

LIABILITY - S.R.

Summary: on an after party with the brightest of minds, it is hard not to feel self-conscious. Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader TW: alcohol, angst, fluff Words: 1.9K (sjksksk sorry, i just can't write less than 1K for some reason!) A/N: hi anon!! thank you for sending this in; i hope it is what you expected 🥺💗 (and don't apologize, i haven't written a lot for spencer and was definitely in a rut with my series, but this might just pull me out of it!!)

SPENCER REID MASTERLIST

“One sociologist said ‘have you read Marx?’ and the other replies ‘yeah, it’s these damn wicker chairs!’,” Spencer said, the other people in the room erupting in boisterous laughs all round you, a timid but content smile on his face. You lifted your drink to your mouth to hide the fact that you weren't laughing. The joke had completely gone over your head, as so many of Spencer’s jokes often did.

You were sitting on the arm of the couch Spencer was lounging in, a club soda cradled between his hands as he peered around the room filled with bright minds from all over the country. Spencer had invited you as his plus one to a fundraiser gala, where everyone had been so incredibly nice to you. What you didn’t expect though, was for Spencer to say yes to the afterparty at one of the organizers' house.

The afterparty had been a whole other story. More people introduced themselves, asking who you were and what you did and who were you again?

It wasn’t that you were dumb - far from it actually. But most of these people had phDs and multiple years experience in all the different sciences known to man, whereas you had lots of practical experience as a manager of a quaint little hotel in downtown D.C.

You too, had to go through an extensive college education combined with different internships in prestigious hotels all around the country, before settling for a little boutique hotel that had the right balance between luxury and the intimate feeling most hotels lacked.

Your job was your life. The team was as tight as ever, the hotel guests were  (usually) the nicest people and the hotel was beautiful.

When there was a problem, you were the one to fix it. You had both of best worlds actually; if there was a problem with a hotel guest, you’d show up and fix it immediately, just as if there was a problem with the pool filter. There was a problem with balancing the books? Give it a few hours and you’d find the problem. One of the keycard locks on the doors refused to move? You had a handy kit that would open the door in no-time.

You were good at your job and you knew it damn well.

So sitting between the smartest minds of the country wasn’t exactly where you imagined yourself to be. They joked about things you didn’t understand, talked about stuff that sounded like an alien language and explained their research in such a way that made you want to just give up - the worst of all was that Spencer fit right in.

And you didn’t.

You tapped Spencer’s leg and he looked up at you, his eyes crinkled as his lips were pulled in a wide smile. It was good to see him this way, happy and accepted by a community that was his life, after being ostracized most of his life.

“I’m going for a refill, do you want anything?” you tried to keep your voice level, self-doubt starting to creep in through the cracks.

Spencer shook his head, his curls bouncing around his head as he quickly squeezed your hand, “I’ll just stay here if that’s okay?” he asked, his brown eyes big and loving, a little blush present on his cheeks.

“Yeah, sure,” you whispered in his ear as you pressed a quick kiss against his cheek before standing up and looking for a stronger drink in the kitchen.

Luckily there was a whole bar filled with any liquor you could imagine, so you grabbed a glass and poured some whiskey before turning back towards where Spencer was sitting.

You stopped in the doorway, peering at him from a distance as he talked to someone next to him, excitedly gesturing as his smile got bigger by the second.

That was something Spencer couldn’t do with you. Sure, it was fun to hear his stories from work and from his work as a professor, but some things were just… too hard to understand.

Spencer could start a story about how an unsub used bleach to clean up his crimes, which was stupid, you had picked that up from dating him and true crime podcasts, but would then go on to explain the chemical components in bleach and how they exactly worked to remove blood.

It was all nice and fun, but he had to explain it all the time and you were sure he was getting tired of explaining every joke and every thing he did on his job. It was difficult not to compare yourself to all these people here, who did understand his jokes and were able to formulate their own thoughts when Spencer was talking about academic stuff.

You turned back around, searching for the garden instead to find a place to take a little breather before you’d drive yourself insane.

You found a secluded spot on the deck that overlooked the pond where big koi fish were swimming around in slow circles. The whiskey burned just right in your throat as the after party inside was coming into full swing.

It only took 13 minutes for Spencer to find you. When you didn’t come back after five minutes with a drink in your hands, he guessed someone had stopped you to talk about something.

But five more minutes made worry swish around in his stomach as he looked around the living room. Spencer had noticed that you were on the quiet side since arriving at the after party, but he had thought you were just tired - you had had a night shift before it and maybe two parties were a little bit too much.

Spencer eventually found you outside on the porch, peering down at the koi fish as you ignored everything happening around you.

“Hey,” his voice made you jump a little as he crouched down next to you.

You threw him a lopsided smile, looking down at the fish again, their beautiful tails distracting you from the self-doubt that was consuming every thought.

“Is everything alright?” he tried again, anxiety laced through his voice, a tick in his jaw that showed how worried he was getting.

Your lips set into a grim line as your eyes fell shut, “don’t worry about it Spence, just- just go back inside.”

It was hard to dismiss him, but he would never understand how it felt to be the least educated in the room, let alone be scrutinized for it.

Spencer ignored what you said and sat down fully, his long legs hanging over the edge of the deck, right above the water. His fingers were drumming anxiously on the deck, the rhythmic sound making you stressed, as well for the conversation that was hanging above your heads.

Spencer inhaled sharply as he looked at your figure out of the corner of his eyes.

Your whole frame was leaning forward, crouched into itself a bit as your arms were wrapped around yourself, caging yourself in to protect yourself from the outside that made you ache. The glass of whiskey that you had poured yourself, was already empty.

He shuffled a bit closer to you before opening his mouth, “sweetheart.. I- I can’t help if you don’t let me in.”

It stayed quiet on your end for a hot second and Spencer was starting to think you just didn’t hear what he said, until a small sob broke the silence.

It came out of nowhere. One moment you were just a bit bitter, but then it morphed into a whole other feeling - not feeling good enough for Spencer.

Spencer was the love of your love, you were sure of it. But this moment right here made you realize he would always be a better person than you. Even when he didn’t know what was wrong, he was there for you.

Spencer immediately put his arm around your shoulders as he pressed you closer to him. He pressed a lingering kiss against your hair as the sobs racked through your body, your tears staining the nice shirt Spencer was wearing.

“I-I just, I feel like I’m not good enough for you,” you sniffled, refusing to look at Spencer as he felt his heart breaking in a million pieces, “I stick out like a sore thumb in this crowd.”

It hurt him that you would think this way - as not enough for him. Spencer thought the world of you. You had worked so hard to get where you were now, more than most, even though you’d never admit it. In the hotel, you were so patient with everyone. Nothing could bring you down, a smile always present on your face.

Every day when he woke up and saw your face peering at him, he couldn’t help but have a skip in his step as he walked around the BAU. Even after a particularly bad case, coming home to you would make the whole day feel like sunshine.

You were the most amazing person he had ever met- if only you could see that, too.

“Sweetheart...y/n,” he said, his left hand coming up under your chin to lift your eyes to his, “you are the most amazing person in my entire life. You are my life.”

“I-I just feel like I don’t belong here,” you replied, your eyes burning with tears as your mouth was pulled into a pout, “with you.”

“That is not true, not at all,” he stressed, his brow scrunched together as he let his thumb slip over your lower lip, “these people are good in their field, but let them try something outside of it and they will fail!

“What you have- what you are is… you are so talented, you pick up skills left and right...you are always down to learn about something,” he summed up, his voice pitching an octave higher because he didn’t see why you were putting yourself down so much.

“And I love you - so much. If there is anyone not good enough, it’s me,” Spencer sniffled, his own eyes filling with tears. He couldn’t see you cry, especially not over him.

“I just want you to have everything you deserve,” your voice cracked as you saw his eyes shining with tears, “because you deserve everything, Spence.”

“Don’t you know?” Spencer said as he cradled your face in his hands, “you are my everything.”

Spencer pulled you face closer to his, slating his lips over yours as he tried to convey all his feelings in this kiss on a random porch somewhere in D.C., koi fish swimming under your feet.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said after a minute, his breath a bit laboured, “most of them were laughing out of politeness anyway.”

He stood up and stretched out his hands to pull you up as well. He pecked your lips quickly and wiped his thumbs under your eyes to get rid of the stains and then wrapped his arm around your shoulder, “I don’t want you to ever feel like this again, okay?”

He pressed another kiss against your temple before leading you away from the party, not even bothering saying goodbye to all the people.

That night, he just wanted to show you how much he loved you, and how much you were enough for him.

You weren't a liability to him; you were his equal in every sense of the word. Spencer would try his damn best to make sure you would realize how amazing you were, even if it took him the rest of his life.

also; this is the joke and the explanation if anyone wants to know (found it online):

Two sociologists are sitting by the pool. One turns to the other and asks, "Have you read Marx?" to which he replies, "Yes, it's these damn wicker chairs."

Here's why it's funny: Sociologists are likely well-acquainted with Karl Marx's theories about economics, politics, and society. But this joke isn't about Marx or his ideas, but about how wicker chairs tend to leave red indentations on your skin.

While the sociologist who asked the question meant, "Have you read Marx?" the other sociologist heard it as, "Have you red marks?"

[glowingbadger]

SFW and nsfw HCs modern day for KH boys? I saw that you were looking for KH requests and I’m happy to provide. (As this is a lot of men, I would specifically like: Riku, Sora, Roxas, Axel, and whomever else you like as well).

HOKAY so. This is a bit of a tangent, but I wanted to throw it out there for everyone since it's in my rules now and it's a bit weird.

The KH characters' ages have put me a in a pretty weird spot lmao. It doesn't come up much if ever in-game, but Sora and the gang do have canonical ages- and by the best current estimate, they're 16, maaaybe 17 as of the end of KH3 (where we're at now)- while Riku is a year older than Sora and Kairi, putting him at 17-18. By my typical standards, this would mean that the OG trio, plus every character that is a version of that trio and/or implied to be the same age as they are, would be underaged and thus not characters I'd write for.

Axel and Saix are actually about 10 years older than the main trio, given the age we see them at in Birth By Sleep (which I feel like a looot of people forget, given some popular ships) but that's why those two, plus all of the "adult character model" types (Aqua, Terra, pretty much all current and former Org members) are fair game.

I haven't decided whether I'm comfortable with "aged up" content just yet. I know some writers have been harshly attacked for it, so I have to imagine it's a loaded issue in fandom.

And as a final note, I simply cannot find it in me to sexualize Sora. He activates a deeply maternal impulse in me. I've caught myself verbally apologizing to him when I let him get hurt as I play lmao. And then on the other hand, Riku is designed and written to seem so much more mature, and very well may be 18- so he's a super weird gray area for me.

SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS This is so fucking complicated and I just don't wanna make anyone (or myself) uncomfy lmao so we're gonna keep it SFW for the OG trio and all characters originating from them for now, whereas anyone of Axel and Saix's age or older is fine for NSFW. Anyway, I'm just laying out my own comfort level.

And with that, let's talk headcanons-

Modern AU Headcanons

SFW Riku, Sora, Roxas

NSFW Axel, Saix

Riku:

- He's in his first year of college, at a good school though maybe not ivy league (he's skeptical about that title anyway). He's double majoring in a couple challenging fields- perhaps political science and environmental biology, or pre-law, or some such. Something challenging, but that he feels will empower him to have a career where he can make an impact- though he'll have to be ready to tackle the corruption inherent in political systems some day.

- He's an excellent student, and held in a place of awe and respect by his classmates. He seems so put-together and confident, despite his challenging class load. Internally though, Riku feels like he's constantly on the verge of an absolute crisis. He's the type who's on top of his studies and absolutely not on top of his mental health, and on the fast track to some serious burnout.

- As your boyfriend, he's an absolute sweetheart, but always wishes he could do more for you. He genuinely cherishes you, but he feels like he stumbles over his words when he tries to tell you, and like he never has as much time to dedicate to you as he'd like. He knows he'll screw up sometimes, or have periods when he can't be as available or responsive as he'd like when his workload becomes overwhelming, but he'll always make it up to you with a painstakingly well thought out date night as soon as he has the time.

Sora:

- He's taking a gap year between highschool and college to travel and do service work in as many different places as he can manage. He's got weird and fascinating friends across multiple countries, and is frankly having a great time being able to do work for various underserved communities while visiting old friends and making new ones. He's grown a modest internet following through short vlogs and instagram- and while Sora's not necessarily good at social media (or anything tech related at all), and certainly never set out to become popular online or anything -his natural charm and enthusiasm is infectious, and his followers flood his comments with support.

- He barely graduated highschool by the by; he could have gotten okay grades, but he constantly forgot his assignments, when tests would be, etc. School was really more of a chance to spend time with his friends than anything else, so the boring stuff tended to slip his mind. Definitely the type to be in a thousand extracurriculars and know everyone's name.

- Sora is the sweetest and most openly affectionate boyfriend- you'll frequently catch him staring dreamily at you like he can't believe how lucky he is, and he has no qualms about bragging to his friends about you. He can be scatterbrained about some things, special occasions and specific wording and such, but he's very emotionally intuitive, so even if he doesn't quite know what to say to make things better, he'll always know when you're upset and do anything he can to help.

Roxas:

- He's starting at a small but relatively prestigious college, somewhere quiet and home-y. He hasn't decided on his major yet, but he's keeping an open mind and staying fairly on top of his studies, while enjoying a small but very cozy and intimate friend group. His favorite way to spend a slow afternoon or evening is just lazing around the dorms with a friend nearby studying on a bed, another playing a game on a small tv, and him scrolling through his phone while they casually chat about any and everything. It's low pressure, but comfortably intimate.

- idk if any of you guys knew someone like this at your work/school, but Roxas strikes me as the type who, because he's a bit quiet, everyone perceives him as super confident and on top of his shit. So while his true friend group is very small and cozy, plenty of people around campus recognize him and call out to him when they see him around, or hype him up to their friends as this incredibly cool, chill guy, despite really not knowing him at all.

- Roxas is fairly oblivious but very sincere as a partner. He doesn't have much serious relationship experience, and he's very aware of this fact, but he desperately wants to be as good to you as you deserve. He'll try his best to express himself with compliments and dates, but really, his love language is best shown through cuddling and physical closeness. He finds holding you to be incredibly reassuring, even while studying, playing a game, or anything else that he's supposed to be focusing on.

Axel:

- He's a musician for sure- the front man for an alt rock band with some electronic influence. They're extremely popular within a niche audience, and their shows are always high energy and with plenty of lights and pyrotechnics (of course lol). Axel himself focuses on vocals and sometimes guitar, though he dabbles in just about any instrument he can get his hands on, constantly experimenting with new sounds and absorbing as much creative influence as he can. While his usual wild personality would make him seem flippant, he takes his music seriously, and it's just about the only thing that can hold his unwavering focus for very long.

- Axel is not an emotionally reserved type, and isn't worried about taking things "too fast," and as such, he'll be more than happy to offer to have you along on tour with him if you like, or even invite you to be part of the music or performance. Still, it is important to him that you get along with his friends, so things won't go well if you're not all having a good time together. Oh and given how shameless he can be, he has no problem with fucking you on the tour bus, not caring for even a second whether the others can hear you struggling to stifle your moans.

- He doesn't have much of a mind for special occasions or elaborate date nights, and sometimes, it can be hard to find time to be alone with him away from friends and bandmates. It's not that he doesn't prioritize you, he just gets caught up in his social life and forgets that time alone together is precious and important too. That said, he's vocal about how attracted he is to you and how much he appreciates you, so you'll never have reason to doubt his affections, and if you speak up and tell him you want time with him, he'll do anything in his power to clear his schedule for you (and then fuck you so nice and deep that you forget you'd ever been frustrated with him).

- If you can't join him on tour, or he's too busy to see you much at home for a while, Axel is the king of sexy voice messages and videos. He needs you to know that he's still thinking of you no matter what (especially since some view his confidence and openness as flirtation, even though he's fully devoted to you), and he wants to help tide you over until he can finally have you again. It's even better when you reciprocate in full; nothing drives him absolutely wild quite like a lewd selfie that just barely covers what he desperately wants to see, or a short voice message just to hear you moaning and panting as you pleasure yourself to thoughts of what he'll do to you when he's home.

Saix:

- Saix works best within a hierarchy and when he has clear goals to work toward, and as such, he does well as the personal assistant and de-facto second in command to a fortune 500 company CEO (not to mention, Lordy, Saix in a suit with his hair tied back? Goddamn). He's ruthlessly efficient, and some among his coworkers find him even more intimidating than the boss- but he does his best not to think too hard about the specific ethics of big-business like this. He's had to sacrifice and repress a lot to make it to where he is.

- Most of his impressive salary that he cares to actually spend goes toward affording a place to stay in the city that's large and isolated enough to give him the peace of mind that only solitude and quiet can lend. That said, he does have a small number of close friends, and while no one knows when this started, it's just assumed that hangouts and get-togethers will happen at his place, since it's the most spacious and comfortable. Saix adamantly denies that he ever offered to host, but he also never turns them away.

- He doesn't have the highest sex drive overall, and frankly, he works so hard and for such long hours that it's hard to find the time and energy for intimacy. That said, when the mood strikes, it's positively fierce; he'll text you to be waiting for him at home in as little clothing as possible, and you'll know he's looking to spend a full night ravishing you. Admittedly, part of his intensity in bed is a way to relieve work stress, but it doesn't hurt that, though he's miserable at expressing it, he's absolutely obsessed with your body. When Saix decides he wants you, he'll bury his face between your legs, milk multiple orgasms from you with his hands, and mark you with bites from your jaw, down your stomach and along your thighs.

- Saix is the biggest sucker for small, sweet and genuine signs of affection. He's not great at it himself, but just seeing a message from you to say you miss him while he's working late yet again turns his face bright red, and he'll spend the next half hour trying to come up with the right reply, only to just end up sending "I feel the same. I won't be much longer." But when he does see you that night, he holds you extra tight, nuzzling his face against your hair. He hates being called out on it, but it's incredibly easy to turn him into a melting, blushing puddle- and heaven help you if you do it to him with friends around. He'll "punish" you quite thoroughly, so you'll only have yourself to blame when you get no sleep and can't stand the next day.

[nulltune]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME:  lynn (derogatory)

PRONOUNS:  she / her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:  discord! you can message me thru tumblr im's too but ngl it is.... Da Worst for me. i usually miss out messages all the time and end up replying pretty late, so do hmu on discord if you'd like! but actually i'm kinda super slow in general 👉👈 so pls be patient with mee 😳💖

NAME OF MUSE(S):  hakuno kishinami my beloved ♡​

RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  oh mann, time eludes me but i used to rp on instagram 🗿 for a couple of years before i migrated to tumblr around 2016 i think. rping was always a pretty on and off hobby for me tho ngl and i blog-hopped on tumblr a lot for maybe a couple years or so? tho i like to think i'm kinda dedicated now that've settled down with a moon wife- i mean 😳 a muse i really like !

BEST EXPERIENCE: ‎can't say if there's a best experience tbh! talking abt our muses is super funn, i love screaming about dynamics and interactions and i get super giddy when i get an ask or receive an ask reply or a reply in general hhhmmmgh idk idk! i have a lot of really great friends and fantastic writers on da dash which just makes the tunglr experience rlly rlly great 🥺 and i'm very grateful for that! ❤️💖💞

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:  oooh my rules should be pretty clear on that! other than the stuff i mentioned there tho, hmmm vague posting is very 😬 to me and if i see it then-- 👋👋

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:  fluff and angst come very easily for this moon lady! she is soft and sad <3 i honestly like everything as long as it has Substance to it and is meaningful because like, fluff for the sake of fluff or angst for the sake of angst just gets tiringgg. i've never written smut (i feel like i'd write it so bad so- SGAGDJS) but i can't imagine writing it on main anyway because hakuno's veeery exclusive when it comes to sexy times. you need 2 romance her for that and well, she is a hard 2 romance being! i mean nothing's impossible so an fwb situation isn't entirely out of the question but yea, veeeeery unlikely

PLOTS OR MEMES: ‎ ‎i like both! though i think i like plotting first before jumping to memes 🤔 if that makes sense! just cuz it's easier for me to have a general outline of what we'd want for our muses and lil details of how they'd interact before figuring it out from there thru memes or threads or more plotting ✨️

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:  i don't really pay attention to reply length tbh, but i think most of the stuff i write are probably around two or three paragraphs? sooooo- middle replies! (unfunny joke is unfunny)

BEST TIME TO WRITE:  hmmmm i don't really have one? writing muse hits super randomly and where i write matters more to me tbh! like, i Cannot write even in the 10 minute break between classes bc idk why but it just does not hit the same </3 but as long as i'm all comfy and in the writing mood then it's all gooood

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  if i am then i'd be Concerned! ^_^ sffjshfb ok i joke but nauurrrrr. we only have the basic surface level kinda stuff in common, like liking sweets or cats. maybe being shy, but even then hakuno can be hella bold and assertive whereas i'd rather eat my hands 🤷‍♀️ hmmm i guess we're both binches that want affection and validation deep down GSJCHSJF OK AND WELL i guess having a simp side maybe counts bUT HAKUNO'S CUTE WHEN SHE HAS THOSE MOMENTSS she is simply a very adoring lover. sure does make me look like a hoe in comparison tho 💃 FSJCSGKFDH /J /J

taggdd: a super long time ago! by sophie and ren iirc (if any of u see this, thank uuu and ily! 🥺💖

tagging: if you haven't do it! but ya gotta tag me bc i wanna seeee 👀✨️

[monotonouslead]

AS CLANDESTINE FRAMED HER EYES

SHORT MEMOIR : Write down one of the most memorable events that happened to you.

Within me was an eternal battle of self-loathing. As I struggled to rebuild my sculpture, this battle blinded me shaped and wrapped my whole being.

I tried to find you but I failed. Your shadows had already been painted on their walls, but mine was empty, screaming for a smidgeon of glee and a glimpse of Mangata. You're the source of my euphoria, the driving force behind my insanity, and the chasm between my seas. I like you; your shadow completes the work of art. The curves in the wall indicate that you are more than a perfect sculpture of Medusa, whereas I am a Cupid's disciple.

As you tried to leave footprints on the safe path I carved out for you. I watched as your shadow vanished in front of my eyes. I could tell you were eager to get out of this room. I can smell the tenderness of your yearning to be the person you were ten years ago.

I was on the brink of drowning in tears when I saw you, the vivid eyes howling with agony. I smiled painfully, as if I were in the middle of a maze, wondering if I should continue playing or just bury myself in this game. I was befuddled. I was standing in an unknown path, crying and pondering what was causing my anguish, when I noticed you. I saw you standing in a cracked mirror, holding that same smile but in a different curve, as you immerse yourself in a blazing flame. You cut the ropes on your wrist, I saw how you fell, along with the clock's arm moved for the final time, I saw your fainted smile.

If you don't have something good to do, then it’s better for you to die. And so I did.

Why is that? It still hurts, as the wind slowly picks up my shattered pieces, and I still feel the pain. I'm lying here with a white cloth wrapped around my eyes as I was walking through the pale golden sands and swirling winds. It was wriggly, gripping my feet. It's large heaps of little cubes caressing and comforting my bruised soul, and wounded sculpture. I felt the sting and nothing else. I'm befuddled and in agony, and I don't know why, but it seems so painful. They said it was a perfect joy, a ideal rest, a comfort that we should lean on, and the right destination.

I carved my sculpture only to have it destroyed again. A tear fell from my left eye. The girl was in front of me,  she was also wearing the white cloth over her eyes. She is a new sculpture, sleek and devoid of imperfections, new and well-liked by all. A state of life in which everyone wants to see her, begging for her presence. A level where she has no expectations to carry, no grief to bear, and no other emotion to hold but joy. People haven't damaged that little girl yet, but she has damaged herself. 

I let them destroy me. I let myself drown in tears as darkness engulfed me as a thick blanket covered me while the pillow waves its presence as the broken mirror opened her arm. This is the very first time I felt like I was accepted for who I really am. The white cloth over my eyes blinded me to how I really felt; it was a mask that only I was destined to wear. This mask was already stained with blood as I was carving my wrist. I sank, vanished, and will never be seen again. I was once begging for help, but maybe this is my final destination. I raised my white flag. Thinking that I will never find myself.  I continue to wear the tattered white cloth as my broken life line peeks out at me.

“I wish I served you the perfect joy…”

You muttered in between the whispers of the wind, as sirens fought to burst through. When I opened my eyes, there was nothing but a plain white ceiling. It was like a blank canvas; plain, empty, and unknown. I felt a sense of peace as my fingers crawled into my cheeks. Now I'll begin to paint my canvas, curve its frame, and put on an unbreakable glass as I showered it with the rage I've earned, the sadness that we're harbored, and the joy that I've been seeking.

I yearned for nirvana as I was swindled into the heart of this maze. While striving to bring that young kid back into her menagerie. Back into her cradle as she was seeking for love, I will provide her with the solace she craves as she grows into the sculpture she never expected to become. 

I was in love perhaps that's what I'm trying to believe; that I truly love the person standing above the black swamp, as the stained white cloth embraces the unfinished masterpiece standing like a barrier protecting me from being shattered once again.

[kamosweasley]

Not that damn song again (George Weasley x Reader)

Description : It's Christmas time so a cute fluffy fic about it sounds right. And I'm a simp for George (and Christmas songs), I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Words count : 2.5K

Author note's : lyrics from All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey are in italics.

Tag list : @memekingofwwiii

It's terribly cliché but you can't lie, you love Christmas. There is no better time of year, with snow, hot chocolate, big sweaters, cinnamon cookies and decorations everywhere, how not to love it ? You don't understand people who prefer summer with its sweltering heat and sunburn and all those damn mosquitoes. But unfortunately for you, your boyfriend is a man of the second category whereas you are a woman of the first category. Which makes some things a bit complicated, like you grumbling when he wants to pull you out in the July sun or like him not being able to stand the Christmas carols that you play over and over again from the first of November.

“Not that damn song again …” he mumbles, hiding his face in his hands. “Darling I love you, but if you play this song one more time ...”

“Come on Georgie, it’s Christmas time ! Listening to Christmas songs is essential to my mental health right now. It's either that or stuff myself with cinnamon cookies with the delicious icing and not fit into my favorite sweaters anymore. You really don't like it ?”, coming to give him a back hug with puppy eyes. He never resists you with those eyes, he loves to see them disappear to give way to a big smile.

“I'm sorry my love, but at the end of the fiftieth listening of your playlist I started to hate Santa Claus and the sound of the bells.”

You're both sitting on his bed, he's finishing his potion homework but he's not getting very far with you in the same room listening to the same songs for over a month. He hates it because he loves you with all his heart, but he's starting to wish he could go deaf so he can't stand those melodies which haunt him even in his sleep. He would love it as much as you do, but the more the days go by, the more he understands this will never be the case. And he doesn't want to put limits on how you enjoy this time, he knows how much it means to you.

You put your hands under his sweater to warm your hands, the contact of your cold skin on his abdo makes him startle as you let out a giggle.

“Sorry, my hands are cold and I know that your mother's sweaters keep me warm so I took advantage of it …”

“I know darling, it's absolutely not to satisfy your wandering hands.” he says as he turns his head to kiss you, “I'm going to ask my mother to knit you some mittens, since it's very warm.”

“Good idea, I'm freezing to death right now.” George begins to turn around with a grin on his face, ready to warm you up in his own way but you haven’t noticed his purpose, “I'm going to go make hot chocolate in the kitchen, do you want some too ? I can bring you a cup, I make the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted. No offense to your mom who must make really good ones too, but mine is better.”

You often take him by surprise, changing the subject or not noticing how the situation is turning out and he always found it charming. You make him think of Luna a little bit, on another level but just as clueless as her sometimes. Your boyfriend smiles at you, returning to his potion homework. “Anything to please you darling.”

“You'll see, it's fabulous! I have a secret ingredient, if you're nice I might tell you what it is.” you put on one of his sweaters that you take from his suitcase before you wink at him and leave the room. He should take advantage of the silence of your absence to finish his damn homework in a hurry but he can't concentrate. Potion is boring and he really loves it when you wear one of his sweaters, it's way too big for you and that's what makes you so adorable. And you will come to spend a few days at the Burrow, meet his parents as his girlfriend and receive your own sweater knitted by Molly. He hopes that you will continue to steal from him even if you have your own.

“Here it is ! Taste it and tell me.” you say while putting the cup in his hand. You already know what he’ll say of course, everybody loves your hot chocolate, there is no reason for your boyfriend not to do the same. He thanks you before taking a sip of the hot drink, ready for a chocolate too sweet with some spice in it. And it is, but he has to admit that it is particularly good. He nods his head before he smiles at you. “You're right, it's the best I've ever tasted.” He puts his cup on the bedside table and returns to his parchment.

“So why don't you keep drinking it ? It doesn't look like the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted.” You're sure George didn't lie to you, but you still hoped he would act on his words. When he tells you it's the best hot chocolate he's ever had in his hands, you wish he wouldn't let go of the cup until he's finished it. Maybe you have a misplaced ego but this chocolate is your personal pride and you want your boyfriend to treat it well.

He runs a hand through his hair, not even taking his eyes off his homework. “I've never been a big fan of hot chocolate or Christmas cookies and certainly not of all those bell-filled songs. I’m sorry darling but I never liked any of this.” You melt before his eyes, he is sincerely sorry he doesn't like what makes you so happy and you think it's too cute.

"I'm just not a Christmas person. It's good because we saw family and have presents but still don't get what you found in this period.” You come and join him on the bed, sitting in a suit in front of him. “It’s simple. Let it snow, Jingle Bell Rock, All I Want For Christmas, it’s all about a magical time.” In his eyes you can tell that he doesn't understand at all what you're talking about, which is amazing when you consider how much time he spent listening to all those songs. “We are wizards. Our whole life is magical, I'm not sure I understand you on that point.” You grab a roll of parchment and hold it as if it were a microphone, looking at him with a glim in your eyes.

The best thing you can do to help him understand is to show him. You’re not a good singer, at least George never complains about it, perhaps because he tries very hard to keep his mind upright since he doesn’t like your playlist. It's unlikely you'll be able to change his mind, but a little a capella karaoke should put a smile on his face.

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the present, underneath the Christmas tree.” While keeping your fake microphone close to your mouth, you point at your boyfriend with the same expression as Mariah Carey in the clip. “I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know ! Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you !”

As it is impossible to sing Mariah Carey without playing the diva, you give it your all and when you see George's smile, you do it well. It must be your acting more than the words of love that make him smile like that, it's like he's trying to restrain himself from laughing.

“'Cause I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight.” On all fours you come and sit between his legs, facing him. He puts his cold hands on your hips passing them under the elastic of your jogging, a smirk on his lips. You shiver from the sudden cold on your skin but don't stop singing, your face getting closer and closer to his. “What more can I do ? Baby, all I want for Christmas is you ! You, baby.”

He's right in front of you. Your noses are touching, your eyes are immersed in each other and you melt like snow in the sun at the intensity of this moment. Damn you love him.

The hunger in his eyes devours you before his lips reach yours. A passionate, fiery, kiss that will get you high. Your head empties itself of all words and thoughts, your hands naturally place themselves in his hair and behind your closed eyes you imagine his smile, his eyes shining with mischief, his hand holding yours and all those little things that make you fall for him. Over and over again.

Gasping for air, the kiss is stopped. You're almost dizzy, head spinning with butterflies messing around in the belly. Liking George Weasley drives you crazy, there's no telling, you've never felt that way about anyone else. Before him you'd never been that high, you'd never had a simple kiss that made you tremble, you'd never dreamed of spending the rest of your life with someone. George Weasley is the kind of man you should treasure, marry and have as a father to your children. For the simple reason that he will be wonderful in all these roles, with him everyday life will never be boring, he will always have the words to make you laugh or smile. He will give love like no one else to his children, an exemplary father who will take care of his children as if they were the greatest wonders in this world.

You have no doubt about it, your boyfriend will offer a wonderful life to the woman he chooses. That's why you're not going to let him go. Your lover.

You suddenly open your eyes as you feel yourself tilted to the side with George, he's still holding you against him and you land softly on the comforter and pillows. You're lying against each other and George slips one of his legs between yours so that they get tangled up. “Now we’re good darling.” He kisses your forehead and plays with a strand of your hair, it's so peaceful. “I haven't finished the song.” You feel his mouth smiling against your forehead. “Who cares ? Certainly not me, I heard what I needed to hear. I think I understand now.”

“Do you ?”

“Yes, but I still hate Christmas songs.”

You lean on your forearm to look down on him, looking pouty. “C’mon ! You’re overreacting, this song is brand new. It's only been out for a month, you can't already hate it.” He grabs you by the shoulders and applies pressure to force you to lie down, not softened by your pouty air. “You listen to it all the time and if not, you sing it. Believe me, one month is enough to get sick of it.”

After being a diva a few minutes before, you're having fun being a diva again because after all, you can't talk about Mariah like that. And you can't help but defend the honor of your favorite Christmas songs. With a burning gaze, fists on your hips and a somewhat condescending tone, you fight back. “It’s Mariah Carey so it will be a massive hit, I’m sure of it. And at least, I’m sure you will think of me every time you’ll hear this song for the rest of your life.” Smiling at you, he adopts the same facial expression and flutters his eyes saying to you in a sweet voice: “The only way I'm going to hear this song again is from you. It's a Muggle song, no one is going to know it among wizards.”

Rolling on yourself to be flat on your stomach, half on George given the proximity that the bed offers you, you give him a charming wink as you rest your chin on your hands.

“That’s what I’m saying. At the end of each year you will hear this song many, many, many times and you will think of that moment when I sang it to you in your dorm at Hogwarts. You will see the scene again as you hear me singing it from the other side of our house. Because we're going to spend our whole lives together.” Since you're already half on top of him, he has no problem placing you on top of him, kissing both your cheeks and your forehead as you go by, making you giggle. “You’re a genius. You really thought of everything.”

You mess his hair before wedging your head in his neck, breathing in his scent. You smile against his throat and you know him well enough to know that it makes him smile back. “How could I want to live without you ? You know how to make yourself indispensable Georgie, it's almost annoying.” You love it when he runs his hand through your hair, it's the most relaxing thing ever. His other hand traces back and forth in your back, making you a little sleepy. This man knows how to deal with you. “Because you thought you were the only one who thought of everything? I would never let you go.”

If you could stop time and stay like this forever, you would do it without hesitation. You're comfortable in a bed, just the two of you, your hearts are beating at the same rhythm and you're in love. Then it smells like hot chocolate and you've managed to make him smile to a Christmas song. You never want to forget this moment. “Fine by me Georgie.”

You can't resist the temptation to hum Last Christmas, but George's caresses make you fall asleep little by little. You stop before the end of the song and in a few minutes you fall asleep on him. He kisses the top of your head, finding you absolutely adorable. You always manage to fall asleep quickly when you are being tickled, which makes him very tender and amuses him a lot. He often teases you about it, it always annoys you and he finds it even cuter.

Feeling your body rise slightly to the rhythm of your breathing, he starts humming the end of Last Christmas. He takes advantage of you being asleep, so you won't be able to talk to him about it someday. Continuing to run his hand through your hair and humming Christmas music, he smiles as he looks up at the ceiling. You are with him, alone and calm, in perfect harmony and he always liked to feel the beat of your heart when you cuddle. It's that kind of perfect moment. And he wishes it would never end.

[haleviyah]

A Hispanic/ Latino Perspective: Border Clarification

This is one of the rare times I’m going to get somewhat political here, but these comments spread by the media are hitting to way close to home for me, so here I go.

Before you pounce on me, let me explain this: I am a moderate. I favor no sides, I don’t treat people by their titles but rather I prefer to judge by character even though I am not the best at it, admittedly. I favour and respect those who keep their word and own their mistakes. In short, if you do what you promise to do, you have my approval whereas if not, you will bear the brunt of my blunt rebukes and sarcastic remarks.

I am also from South Texas, specifically the Rio Grande Valley, and am a descendent of two humble Mexican families who since the Mexican Border War have made Texas their great escape and home.

Bit of a geographical reference, if you don’t know here where the Rio Grande Valley is. Look at the state of Texas, there is a bulge of state going in each direction that makes it look like a fat, lower-case ”t” : El Paso is the most West of the state, the Panhandle (Amarillo) the Northmost, Texarkana the most Eastward followed by Houston, and WAAAAAAY at the bottom is Brownsville and the Southernmost tip of Texas.

And for those of you too lazy to Google or "DuckDuckGo" the map yourself I've attached it:

The four counties: Hidalgo, Cameron, Starr and Willacy county make up the Rio Grande Valley. This is the region I grew up, the place where I experienced the best of a community and the worst of politics and failed promises.

For a bit of background: I have a parent working on the Border and they have been for many years (since I was a kid). Pretty much worked from a security officer to trooper within the span of a decade which is quite impressive and rare considering they never took bribes or anything to get where they were currently. They have told me off and on what their job is like. It’s crazy and boring some days, but also they have admitted somethings that may be fascinating. One of which is, yes, they do own horses and the reason why is so the Troopers can maneuver around tough terrain vehicles cannot go through (such as high water or narrow foot paths in brush). HOWEVER, they DO NOT OWN WHIPS. They don’t even own lassos, according to my Border Agent parent.

The only weapons agents on horse back have is a Glock, ammo, a taser, cuffs, and sometimes shot guns (but they prefer to carry light for the horses and themselves to be more flexible). They mainly carry items that would slow a person down or prevent them from hurting other people, officer or civilian; not for killing. So a whip is absolutely redundant or even absurd to have.

Those long ropes the Troopers are holding are called reins, and they are designed for steering a horse (horses cannot move opposite of the direction of their head; where their head is pointed they move in that direction). They are not made for whipping people, but rather made to get the horse’s attention. That’s it.

I took the liberty of highlighting the reins in red for you all as well as their arms and legs in blue and yellow in contrast to the reins and saddle.

It's clear from a Texan's or horse-riders perspective this Trooper almost fell off catching the other fellow and was holding onto the left rein for dear life hence why the horse looked distressed and its cheek was pulled back.

I'm not joking, you fucking try it if you're so damn horse-smart.

Now, let's look at a more relaxed position.

In short, if you haven't ridden a horse, I advise to keep your comments to yourself on this part. I have and it's way harder than it looks (horses can get cocky).

Second thing, the migrants.

Personally, I don’t know why they were so squirrelly that day. Perhaps they were spooked because they’ve never expected horse back riders to show up, maybe they had some bad experiences back home.

I don’t know!

But it’s clear there appears to be a lack of communication. Perhaps it’s the language barrier given that these guys came from Haiti, African countries and Brazil. English they probably know, but they probably don’t speak a lick of Spanish (Which both languages are mandatory for the Border Patrol).

(Again, I don't know...)

So the reasons why they started running circles around the Troopers’ horses is not for me to speculate, it’s not for YOU to defend blindly, nor is it up for the media to interpret and evangelize.

That should be left to the people to explain. No one else.

(Update: September 29th. I received a tip from a source that the Haitian immigrants (mainly) are not running from anything, they aren’t seeking asylum nor were in poverty as the media claims. They have admitted upon interview they were what we consider middle-low class and had no issues finding jobs before they decided to migrate northward. They’re just coming because they were told to come by “you-know-who”… that’s all. I know, I’m taken aback and scratching my head, too… but anyway. I digress, but do take note.)

Now, another bit of feedback I want to share: When it comes to dealing with Troopers (again, must I remind you this is a Border Patrol agent’s kid speaking), big rule:

DO NOT RUN nor MAKE THREATENING MOVEMENTS. Be calm.

It’s a simple rule, if you’re cool with the Troopers they’ll be cool with you. That’s it. Please respectfully keep in mind, these guys are trained to be safe rather than sorry. So patience and understanding with them is a must. Trust me, I’ve met my parent’s co-workers, they may look stoic and scary or condescending, but they can not let personal emotions interfere their work otherwise they risk safety.

They’re not “paranoid” or “harsh” they just have a job they cannot afford to fuck up otherwise the whole region is FUCKED. They’re the front line of defense, and do keep that in mind.

(Another footnote: I have seen Border Patrol offices, and without giving away how they function it’s not like CIA or Langley level of clean or fancy, so don’t think their offices are high tech and have marble floors with comfy lounges that cost a lot of money. Upon first glance you won’t expect the building to be an office. Border Patrol work with what they have available which isn’t a lot thanks to the ’00, ’04, ’08, ’12 and current administrations. That’s all I can give out.)

I’m going to come clean here and say the citizens in the Rio Grande Valley and the rest of Texas DO NOT FEEL SAFE with a border this wide open and no regulation is applied. Especially the Hispanic/Latino communities. So the pressure is on - and I mean REALLY on! Despite these guys working the Border are overwhelmed, they keep those emotions and opinions on lockdown when on the field. Like I said: If they fuck up, the region is fucked.

Bit of a history lesson: the Border issues on the Rio Grande are not new. Matter of factly, this problem has been happening for decades (The popular peak was during the 80s when cocaine was being distributed), but it was more than just cocaine and pot: Kids were going missing, people getting killed, women were used as mules and sold for sex, etc.

If you watched “Narcos” or “Sicario” you have a brief, dramatized taste of how the cartels function and what life is like for us Latinos. However, coming from someone who grew up there, the parts of watching your back, the abductions and even the gruesome murders are legit. To this day I remember seeing local news coverage (not CNN or MSNBC, our own stations down in the McAllen/Brownsville area) of beheadings, child murders and bodies being found in pieces… It’s something I hope my children won’t have to grow up hearing almost weekly like I did. Now it’s daily… and no one cares. And that hurts.

In the grand scheme of things, at least know this: South Texas has been part of the Cartel battle grounds and it’s obvious we’ve seen shit. Constantly being ignored is the payment we get for being front lines in the Drug War. So don’t blame us for being jumpy, or skeptical, nor even try convince us that the current surplus of immigrants is a good thing.

You can’t argue with our own experiences and history. The way things work down here is simple: You fight along side us, we fight along side you.

It’s called building trust, practicing faith. But we’ve been forgotten and lied to too many times by celebrities and politicians and social movements alike. And those who actually were going to help us are either shut down or unfortunately killed.

We just can’t trust anyone anymore. We are resorting to fending for ourselves basically, speaking up for ourselves… and so far it’s making progress in the mean time.

This level of “doing things on your own” bleeds into why our Troopers are trained they way they are trained - to expect the worst case scenario. To prepare themselves for the corpses, when a criminal pounces, the drugs being hid, for when they find a child with an adult they don’t know, or even a woman who was violated. They just genuinely don’t want to take chances and you just read why. Even my in-laws up in the Northern Midwest are disturbed.

So, considering the case of what happened a few days ago in Del Rio, Texas (as of writing this on September 25th 2021): If you run from a Trooper the first thing they are going to think is either two things:

You did something bad upon coming in to the country or

You don’t want your former government to find you because you did crimes in your home country or the country you were hiding in.

This is protocol, not biased opinions.

If, however, a Trooper commits any form of irresponsibility (such as abusing their power, unreasonable search and seizures etc.) it’s “kiss your badge good-bye” and DEMOTED or FIRED. The stakes of keeping your job in the Border Patrol are HIGH, so they are trained not to act out of line. Even a minor slip up in paper work from being fatigued gets you in SEVERE trouble with the Higher Ups and the County (Yes, that does happen and has happened). But you have to KNOW Border Patrol standards before you accuse them of anything.

With that being said, what’s floating around is not a constructive argument; it’s a distraction. How the public is demanding the trooper in the photo to be fired, tells us Latinos loud and clear that - once again - no one cares about our livelihood; no one is willing to brave enough to face the real hell going on. We are ignored or low-key demonized for simply defending ourselves.

(Now, you guys are seeing why I relate to my Jewish husband and the Israeli’ citizens - Arab and Jew - more; we’re pretty much in the same boat in the case of being ignored. But I digress.)

Before I come to a conclusion, here are other demographic facts to keep in mind that way it’ll help draw conclusions:

86.6% of the Border Patrol is HISPANIC/LATINO in the State of Texas alone.

A majority of children stolen from their families or molested are HISPANIC/LATINO.

A majority of the women violated immigrants on the border are mainly HISPANIC/LATINO.

Latin America collectively (Mexico down to Colombia and Venezuela) has the highest rates of femicide in the world.

So for you or anyone to get angry at Border Patrol agents in an unjust manner, not only are you getting mad at Hispanics and Latinos in UNIFORM for fighting to keep their communities safe, but you are actively contributing to the hell our families go through every day.

When you protest in demand for our cops or even troopers to be defunded, and fired for petty things, YOU are actively contributing to the problem of human trafficking, rape, kidnappings and murder that happens on the border. You are contributing to the Hispanic and Latino communities being dismantled and disintegrated by people who potentially want to kill us or hate us for money’s sake.

Take all of that into consideration before you get angry at anyone here.

In short:

I’ll only consider the accusations if you yourselves have been there and know the burdens we bear.

I’ll only consider your judgement if you genuinely are in law enforcement and know how to ride a horse and try to stop someone from running while riding the beast.

I’ll only consider your feedback if you don’t rely heavily on news like CNN, Telemundo and Tumblr for your information.

Until you grab a gun and fight the cartel yourself, and figure out a way to end this war on human trafficking, don’t come to us Latinos and express that you care and appreciate us.

Because frankly if you GENUINELY did, you’d bring to light what I just said and be slamming the desks at D.C. and DEMANDING the Border to be CLOSED by now.

Regardless of your political and personal beliefs, this is what is REALLY going on, and we’re going to keep fighting. Like the Israeli’s we don’t give a fuck if you hate us. We’re not radicals, we’re not blood-thirsty heathens, we’re not white supremacists (80+% of our population is of Latino Mexican descent) we’re just fed up with running away and being taken advantage of or taken for granted by people who value money over the lives of our neighbors.

If this were California, fine! Rail all you want, cuss us out as much as you want; hold us to those to California standards you keep yourself. But we’re not California.

We’re not D.C., nor Chicago, nor L.A., or New York, Florida, Canada, Mexico or whatever. We are SOUTH TEXAS so treat us as SOUTH TEXAS.

Honor us for who we are and hold us to the standards of what is SOUTH TEXAS, what is The United States Constitution, and the Texas Constitution; nothing more and nothing less. Don’t tear us down for what we’re not nor hold us accountable to an opinion or law we never agreed to nor knew existed.

That’s all I ask: If you’re not willing to honour our community and help us while holding us to our standards on a cultural, State or Federal level, back the fuck off. Generations we’ve dealt with the pressure from both the cartel and corrupt government from both the U.S. and Mexico, and the last thing we need is pampered kids living in the high rises or going to university on loans from school or your parents' paychecks, telling us how to deal with our issues.

You are FAR from a place to tell us how to function and resolve our war.

I’m not trying nor want to start a fight or otherwise, but I’m simply, humbly asking: when did we ever genuinely ask you “social justice advocates” to be our hero?

When did we ever ask you to fight for us or talk about what you think is wrong with us? Because last I checked we don’t want to drag anyone into our battles.

Also, we only know one messiah, but we never asked you to be him nor for him to act like you.

Did you start throwing punches because you wanted to find something to excuse your anger and outbursts, or is your good intentions married with ignorance?

Either case… it’s extremely unhealthy of you, and please just stop before another person gets hurt. We don’t want that. This is no different from the Crusades our ancestors took part in, and it will only end in more carnage than already sown.

So, just please, stop and take a step back for a moment. We don’t need anymore vehement evangelical-like people who just think with their ideals and not take a moment to have a healthy discussion with the One who created us, or let alone divorce their lust for a fight for ten seconds.

To close this off, even though I haven’t been home in a while, I know the spirit and the struggles the Rio Grande Valley goes through. I have met people on the run from the cartel first hand, and I have met people who may have ties with the cartel. I have seen some creepy shit, I have grown frustrated over the Protestant Baptist church doing nothing, and I have even been feeling the pressure my parent goes through with these apathetic riots threatening their job as a Border Patrol agent.

But aside from the pain, I am tremendously blessed that people and my family are still very optimistic despite the craziness and how bleak things are.

The family-oriented culture of the Rio Grande Valley is what is keeping it together… not trends, not clout and neither these guys in D.C. or Hollywood who are playing G-d.

It's the family-oriented connection. Our faith, that's keeping us going.

And even though I may not be the best voice of that region to speak up, I am blessed to have been there and I do plan on coming back soon.

I am planning on giving a more fun journal featuring the culture of the Rio Grande Valley in the future to finish this month off, but for the sake of this “Hispanic Heritage Month” I wanted to share our REAL issues we deal with rather than the made up ones that media likes to mainstream for money and clout.

In a way, I hope this offers clarity and a level of empathy. Again, I’m not sharing this to start fights or get sympathy - we don’t want it. We just want to know if our fights are not ignored, we just want to know we are heard.

That’s all.