#whew that was cathartic to write

[lesbiansforboromir]

Been scouring your blog to see if you have a specific take and i only managed to find the post where you said you are more for people coming up with their own meaning for Tolkiens work. anyhow, after reading you boromir post on how hope is his poison I am super curious as to what meaning you personally ascribe to it all. A lot of scholars will tout hope over despair as the ultimate meaning here (and the ultimate meaning of real life...ugh) and considering your very gut wrenching but meaningful takes on boromir i was just curious. Your thought process is fascinating from a scholarly viewpoint (which is not my strong suit) but also an artistic, emotional, philosophical, and human viewpoint. Whew sorry this ask is so long and disorganized! Have i mentioned I am not a scholar? :D

First off I love this ask it made me so happy to read I had to do so like five times before I felt qualified to answer it and then I spent like months writing this response which is over 4000 words now if you want to know. And, on that note, dw about scholarliness or whatever this ask has more desire to engage with lotr in nuanced ways than most tolkien scholars achie- (gets hit by a piano) anyway~!

It's also just extremely flattering that you're curious of my personal opinion at all so thank you so very much!

(this is the post anon is talking about for context)

As with all things, my answer has many layers. At the most basic and applicable level, and when taking only my Gondorian/Stewardship investment into account, I am engaging with the story for personal catharsis.

The fact that Gondor felt hopeless, that the enemy was merciless and invincible, that even those figures who were supposed to help had only judgement and platitudes to offer until it personally benefitted them, that Boromir and Denethor were isolated and generally condemned and that many only showed them pity after their deaths, feels extremely cathartically familiar to me and my story with chronic illness. I've spoken about this before here and there, but that is the kind of simplistic, energy giving, 'he's me fr fr' comparison that brings me uncomplicated comfort and inspiration.

But that is definitely not 'what lord of the rings is about' not even just to me, it's not even just what BOROMIR is about to me, it is an element of the story and worldbuilding that I have isolated and consumed but that still exists within a far larger whole. And that whole is also fascinating and compelling but in a far more esoteric and harder to define way.

BUT before we get into it, I do also feel the need to explain the limitations I percieve within the 'lotr is about hope over despair' narrative since you've brought it up but neither your ask nor the post you mentioned properly explains it and it'll enhance my point later. SO.

As far as my experience has lead me to believe, when people say 'lotr is about hope triumphing over despair' they mean it in a moralising fable kind of way. This is definitely the narrative the films latched onto, like a leech. Good characters have hope, lose it only to reclaim it again, teach others to have hope etc, and that is good of them. Bad characters are despairing and therefore have no hope, and they do evil deeds because of the despair and lack of hope. The Aragorn vs Denethor film paradigm.

But nothing within the books is anywhere near as cut and dry. As I said in the linked post, Boromir gains hope after having none (the hope that he can save Gondor by using the ring) and that is bad, it is something he has to 'pay for' according to the narrative. Meanwhile charmed and blessed Faramir admits that he never had any hope quite a few times, yet he is not punished for it. Theoden also has no hope and is explicitely going to war to die, but his death is not considered evil or selfish by the majority. Saruman is very hopeful, he's hopeful that Sauron can be reasoned with, that if they work together they can make a better world, but he suffers 100 indignities and then is killed by a cannibal! And most of all, Frodo also rarely (if ever) shows any signs of hope, he merely doggedly marches on regardless and in the end even takes the power of the ring for himself, essentially the ultimate evil act of desperation, but that saves the world!

For the record the idea that LotR is a fable-narrative of any kind seems exceedingly erroneous to me, like the idea that we are supposed to glean any universal Good Moral from the tale due to Tolkien's 'emminent wisdom' feels bizarre in and of itself. But at the very least this aspect is more complex, I think we can all agree.

But even more than that (and this is more perspective than narrative analysis I suppose but I think it bears saying), ‘despair is evil’ is a kind of horrible thing to teach! If the villainisation of people driven to desperate actions or anhedonia because of the deep despair they are suffering is what LotR is about then that’s.. awful! That sounds like a bad book and I don't think I'd want to read it. But lets put a pin in the concept of condemning people for despair for now, look out for the pin cus it’ll be coming back later. 

FOR NOW lets get back on topic, if I don't think LotR is 'about' hope triumphing over despair, what do I think it's about?

Well. I know what I'm about to do appears highly out of character for me so please remain calm and gird yourself before I say this but; Let us start with hearing what Tolkien had to say on the subject.

I do not think that even Power or Domination is the real centre of my story. It provides the theme of a War, about something dark and threatening enough to seem at that time of supreme importance, but that is mainly 'a setting' for characters to show themselves. The real theme for me is about something much more permanent and difficult: Death and Immortality: the mystery of the love of the world in the hearts of a race 'doomed' to leave and seemingly lose it; the anguish in the hearts of a race 'doomed' not to leave it, until its whole evil-aroused story is complete.

(this quote is actually from a letter to a fan who suggested lotr was an allegory for atomic power and he was pretty mean and dismissive about it in reply, it's kind of funny)

Now I've been a bit glib about this in the past, along the lines of 'tolkien's own opinion on what his book was about changed for every year of his life and by the time all his friends started dying around him it became about death, what a surprise' mainly because, again, we've had enough people caring about Tolkien's opinions to do us for the rest of civilisation. But I've always known this glib comment to be pretty baseless and unconsidered, since death was a major aspect of his life from his earliest childhood and it makes sense for that to have been a large part of his work. And since I am being sincere I will, just this once, take Tolkien's hand instead of ignoring him.

For him, the theme of his book was not power or domination (or the evils of war or hope over despair), it was about death. It was about people trying to deal with the realities of death existing for them, not existing for others, and what love (loving the world) meant in that context.

On it's surface I find this quote kind of clinical in it's first impression. There's a prescriptiveness to it that does not inspire me, which isn't surprising since this came from a letter full of veiled snootiness on his part.

But mostly, as a concept.. it seems pretty distant from what actually happens in the story itself, right? What aspect of death and immortality was the fellowship embodying? Boromir certainly died, but he was not looking for immortality and his death is far more concerned with guilt than the fact that he is dying. Theodred is dead already, but not even his father appears all that bothered about it and it's quickly set aside to focus more on the war. Denethor kills himself but his and Gandalf's last interaction says far more about despair and faith than death.

And then no other main character 'dies' at all, unless you count Gandalf. And the only main immortal character we have (other than Gandalf) is Legolas whom, whilst he does have quotes associated with his immortality, is far more invested in his and Gimli's relationship than anything else. It's no wonder people choose 'war is hell' or 'hope over despair' narratives over 'death' as the main theme for lotr from their perspective.

It also does not satisfyingly link to one of the most compelling aspects of the books as a whole; that of how they are presented. The thread connecting death and immortality to writing a story that is from in-universe historical accounts, editted and compiled by many subsequent in-universe hands, is there but hazy. The intense catholic-ness of the story is also intuitably related to death and immortality, but not explicitly.

In essence, death does not feel like the main theme of the books when you are reading them, at least I don't think most experience them that way.

However, in spite of all that, Tolkien's opinion on what his books are 'about' is still the closest I have seen anyone come to my own. Which I assume is hard enough for you all to hear, but imagine how I feel 😩

To me, LotR is most themactically consistent when viewed through the lense of Frodo and Gandalf's ever misquoted early interaction;

"Behind that there was something else at work, beyond any design of the Ring-maker. I can put it no plainer than by saying that Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, and not by its maker. In which case you also were meant to have it. And that may be an encouraging thought.’ ‘It is not,’ said Frodo. (emphasis mine)

It is not comforting to know that the suffering in front of you was always meant to happen, no matter how comforting the idea of a divine plan might be to some. And that is what Gandalf is offering Frodo in this moment, the relief of a divine plan and its ‘high beauty for ever beyond [the Shadow’s] reach’. But this is never comforting to Frodo in the books, the comfort he finds on his martyr's journey is in Sam. Indeed, it is actually Sam who finds comfort in 'the high beauty', this reminder that beyond all his own suffering there is an imperishable and eternal light that can never be dimmed.

But not Frodo, how can he? His eventual fate is to grasp the power of a weapon so unholy it sickens his soul, to do that which he has been told is irreversible and unforgivable, so that he can never be at ease or even survive in the lands he has loved ever again. The 'High Beauty' is what is doing this to him, what made the rules, what meant for this to happen, what he is doing this in service of. And Gandalf, whose soul will be present to see the very end of this tale, cannot possibly understand what it is for your whole life to be encapsulated by just your own small painful part of what Gandalf would propose was a beautiful and universal tapestry.

And lack of agency against the divine plan is precisely the narrative thread that ties every character together. To some it is a comfort, Aragorn and Gandalf and Sam are all gladdened and encouraged by the knowledge that there is some higher power ordering their lives, some greater beauty they are all a part of beyond any earthly pain or suffering. They are not in control and to remember this is a relief. It inspires them to better fulfill their ordained duties and drive themselves through terrible trials.

To others it is no comfort at all, Boromir and Frodo have no faith in the prospect that the divine plan will include success or happy lives for them at the end of their tasks. But it is a hopelessness and uncertainly that they both accept. They simply believe their duties must be attempted anyway, hopeless or not, even if it makes no difference to the outcome in the end. Lack of control is just a reality they live with.

And to some it is a horror. Denethor and Eowyn want to fulfill their duties, but these duties are torture. They demand loved ones die, they demand relentless fear and sacrifice, they demand ceaseless and hopeless toil. And in the end both of them are given rebellious breaks from these duties by the narrative, ones that are horrifying in and of themselves (and portrayed as wrong to one degree or another) but that are still extremely cathartically presented as attempts to reclaim control of their lives away from a callous divine. Even if, ultimately, this also was out of their control.

Merry, Pippin, Legolas and Gimli appear to have never quite had to confront the realities of their powerlessness before. But through the story they become intimately aware of it in ways that force them to make choices they are not ready to make. For Merry and Pippin, this leads them to ultimately empathise with Eowyn and Denethor’s positions, wracked with guilt and equally horrified, attempting to find agency in death where (it appears) none can be found. For Legolas and Gimli, they confront the spectors of lack of agency/death for the first time in the narrative (sea-longing and the Paths of the Dead) and are irrevocably changed by them, eventually leading them both to attempt to circumvent their fates by illegally sailing to the uttermost west. Obviously fandom likes to believe they made it and live happily, but narratively it is also suggested that they died at sea in the attempt.

Now, at the risk of indulging in my ever-derided biographical criticism, I do think that all of these characterful arcs are represented in Tolkien’s own life. I feel comfortable saying that Tolkien was not a happy man by default. He was wracked with guilt from a very young age (wow a catholic with guilt, groundbreaking) but that guilt followed him and found new reasons to manifest until the very end of his life. And a lot of this guilt had to do with death, his father's death, his mother's death, his friend's deaths. And a lot of it had to do with fear of leaving unfinished or poorly finished business behind him at the time of his own death: guilt about how he had taught his students, about his scholarly work, his parenting skills, his so-oft-mentioned faith. 

And being a man of faith, he would have experienced all these things as a part of the divine plan, even as they were also his guilt to bear. So, clearly, Tolkien's experience encompassed all of these characters, right? The despair and the torment and combined love-of and frustration-with the divine. The failure. He knew them all. And within all of them, as well as within the narrative and world itself, there is a wrestling, there is an ever-shifting complexity and multitude of different opinions to how one experiences a life that hurts in a beautiful world that you love but that you eventually must leave, with the sensation that you have no control over any of it.

However, a complication to any declaration of ‘what LotR is about’ is that it is a self-admittedly unreliable narrative. If you cannot necessarily believe everything the narrative is telling you, then suddenly additional layers of complexity come into play in determining the meaning within an already complex text. In LotR you can actually track which characters are recounting which parts of the story to Frodo or Sam at the time of writing. But it is also just obscured enough to make it ambiguous and to enforce the idea that this is a version of this original story edited and compiled for many generations after it's writing.

So not only are these characters and events transient, uncertain and being (sometimes bluntly) misrepresented by the narrators, YOU are now complicit in that. You are yet another interpreter to alter this narrative through your perspective, just as all works and all lives are interpreted by those who view them, with no way to control that judgment. You are also a character now, making it even more difficult to make definitive judgments about a question like 'what LotR is about'.

The clearest example of how this narrative unreliability and reader interpretation comes into play within the text itself is when Frodo describes the fellowship's entrance into Lothlorien to Faramir. He is being blindfolded in order to be lead to Henneth Annun, and he recounts;

‘As you will,’ said Frodo. ‘Even the Elves do likewise at need, and blindfolded we crossed the borders of fair Lothlorien. Gimli the dwarf took it ill, but the hobbits endured it.’

But we, as readers of the previous book, know this is a gross mischaracterisation of Gimli. He did not take issue with being blindfolded, he took issue with being singled out as the only member of the fellowship who needed to be blindfolded.

‘As was agreed, I shall here blindfold the eyes of Gimli the Dwarf. The others may walk free for a while, until we come nearer to our dwellings, down in Egladil, in the Angle between the waters.’ This was not at all to the liking of Gimli. ‘The agreement was made without my consent,’ he said. ‘I will not walk blindfold, like a beggar or a prisoner. And I am no spy. My folk have never had dealings with any of the servants of the Enemy. Neither have we done harm to the Elves. I am no more likely to betray you than Legolas, or any other of my companions.’

In this one moment Frodo has taken what was a reaction of justified indignation against racial prejudice, and made it sound like a minor tantrum over a shared burden. He has also used it to further aggrandise his own people in Faramir's eyes. And it is up to YOU to notice this, to review it in your mind, to choose what it leads you to believe about all characters involved. The narrative certainly never helps you, or addresses it ever again. You have to wrestle with what it means in your mind.

I believe this is the reason I have observed that every person who reads LotR and loves it and keeps rereading it feels like they are excavating something. There is a narrative under the narrative for every new pair of eyes on the tale. And that narrative is you, it's who your experiences and sympathies lead you to listen too harder, it's the story of the experiences you understand. And in that excavation, you are also reclaiming a moment of control for yourself in conversation with the story and whatever you have chosen to excavate. One might say these are all aspects of every story, but LotR is unique in its investment and immersion into the concept.

Because, to me, when Tolkien says his story is about 'death and immortality', what I read is that it's about the ultimate lack of control we have (death) and trying to empathise and accept the unfairness of what will become our inherently false legacies (immortality). And then just the vast spectrum of experiences and emotions those things conjure. It's not just about those things, it is an attempted soothing of those fears and struggles, it is an offer of comfort or catharsis or applicability. It is also an acknowledgement of the love that drives you and that you will eventually grieve.

Frodo leaves the shire to save it because he loves it, but he knows the entire time he will never be able to fully return. He is frustrated, it hurts, but a piece of the Shire in Sam comes with him and whilst it cannot save him, Frodo is still comforted. 

Sam leaves the Shire because he loves Frodo, and he loves the high beauty as embodied by elves and magic and history. He also knows implicitly that this is a task he cannot refuse, but these things comfort him. He is glad to be guided and strengthened to even greater feats the more he trusts in a higher power, but he has a life and a family in the end. And if that is what the Higher Beauty decrees for him, where it has doomed Frodo to incurable soulful wounds, are we surprised at either of their choices? Can we blame anyone for their hope OR despair in the face of powerlessness? Oh! Look at that! It’s that pin I mentioned quite literally last century ago. TOLD you it’d be back.

And that brings us back to the question, what do I think LotR is about. 

We are all powerless in the face of death and in writing a book about death Tolkien’s work has an inherent universal applicability in this regard. Tolkien asks an unconscious question within lotr, how should we cope with being creatures that love the world but that are doomed to die and leave it? And then he leaves that question entirely unanswered. This is what sets lotr apart and truly creates a story in which people can read narratives therein that appear entirely separate from death or any other recognisable theme others might see, without losing the sense of universal appeal. He offers multiple perspectives, including that of the dominant religion’s prescriptive decrees of right and wrong, but there is no solution brought forth in the story that saves anyone from grief or death or regret in the end. Not even Aragorn or Arwen, who are in essence the most holy and faithful characters barring Gandalf within the story, end without heartbreak and despair!

‘‘I speak no comfort to you, for there is no comfort for such pain within the circles of the world. The uttermost choice is before you: to repent and go to the Havens and bear away into the West the memory of our days together that shall there be evergreen but never more than memory; or else to abide the Doom of Men.’’ ‘‘Nay, dear lord,’’ she said, ‘‘that choice is long over. There is now no ship that would bear me hence, and I must indeed abide the Doom of Men, whether I will or I nill: the loss and the silence. But I say to you, King of the Numenoreans, not till now have I understood the tale of your people and their fall. As wicked fools I scorned them, but I pity them at last. For if this is indeed, as the Eldar say, the gift of the One to Men, it is bitter to receive.’’ ‘‘So it seems,’’ he said.

There is no such comfort!! … Or is there?

To me, the appeal of Boromir is in the solution he offers; the comfort is in the wrestling! 

Aragorn and Arwen did absolutely everything they were supposed to do, unquestioningly, to the point that Aragorn goes to the Silent Street and just lies down to die because it’s ‘the right time’ and he mustn’t become ‘unmanned and witless’. And then he dies and he makes a beautiful holy corpse that cannot comfort Arwen or his children or his people for even a moment. 

But Boromir dies with a smile. Aragorn promises that Minas Tirith will not fall, and that does comfort him, because that was the wrestling he chose, the love he decided to hold, the meaning he decided to find and fight for beyond all his powerlessness to protect it. So that’s the answer I find and it might be different from yours, but it’s in LotR to be read because the story is about the wrestling as much as (if not more than) it is about the end. The road DOES go ever on and on, after all!

So ye das wat lotr was about I fink thanks 4 askin 👍I REALLY hope it makes sense. I also really hope Anon manages to see it after it took so goddamn long to respond 😂

[angry-geno-is-score]

Hello agis! To fully have Feelings On Main™, I wanted to share: I really did have a good ugly cry reading OoTH. I have had a rough go of dating recently - people not treating me very nicely, like Vince! It was very cool to see something similar emulated in fiction with some of my favorite blorbos. The part that really got me, though, was in chapter 3 when Vince was going through all the parts of his ideal fantasy that he's let go and picked away and all he wants is to be loved....whew boy did we go through SEVERAL tissues over here. But it was so cathartic and I re-read it all the time. I say all this to say: your ability to construct real emotion and feeling through your writing is really unbelievable. This reader certainly appreciates your contributions to fiction! It is fun to play around with these characters, but your ability to make us feel something is amazing. I further identify with Vince because I too find Adam Larsson very, very, very nice to look at :)

First of all, thank you so so much for reaching out and telling me this, you have no idea how much it means to me. Secondly, I am SO glad to hear the fic resonates with you. Obviously art attempts to imitate life, and so my writing attempts to imitate stuff that actually happens. It's good to know the villains are believable, even if they're awful. XD

I also find Adam Larsson very very very nice to look at but that's neither here nor there.

[bunny584]

Bunny, bunny, BUNNY! The timing of your H&H chapter release was a balm on the soul after the devastation of last night’s leaks 🥲

The grieving? The hope? The comfort? The finding out that you’re an ACTUAL MD before reading this, making it alllll the more satisfying to read those accurate hospital details 🤌🏻

Bless you for this gift, wishing you many happy returns & uninterrupted sleeps of 8 hours or more in a perfectly temperature-d room

My LOVE 🤍🥹 thank you so much for reading. I wish I could’ve timed it a little better. I didn’t mean to unload some angsty shit right after Gege. Should’ve texted him, we’re fighting rn though.

Whew. That ER scene…I cried through writing all of that. It was cathartic, but incredibly painful. Paying homage to the families I’ve met/patients I’ve lost. And the indescribable state you enter as a clinician when someone’s loved one looks you in the eyes and says “save her.” It’s…I wish I could describe it.

The “Hey. Hey. Look at me.” “I’m sorry we’re meeting this way,” “we’ll take care of X, you take care of yourself.” All of those are very real sentences. Not always bookended with something positive.

So thank you guys for letting me fuse my worlds just a lil bit. 💖🤍

[wentzologist]

your tags about not wanting to cross an imaginary parasocial line is so real I feel that way a lot when I talk about IOH in any meaningful way tbh it's just. there's a lot that it feels like I have a responsibility to handle with care?? if that makes sense?? it's a respect thing to me tbh. I'm gonna handle it carefully

yeah exactly. like don’t get me wrong i am currently (slooooowly) writing a fic dealing w/ the aftermath of best buy and how the band dealt with it. and i do feel a little conflicted about it but making (locked!!! lock your ao3 fic!!!) art about it feels a little different than speculating about it on tumblr, for some reason.

i’m not perfect and i definitely cross some lines sometimes. but pete was one of the only people i ““knew”” who TALKED about mental illness in the mid aughts. and that was really formative to me as a teen who felt very alone and Crazy and didn’t know anyone else who took psych meds. so making art about it is cathartic to me.

whew this got long but yep. yeah

[agentmmayy]

september rotation

this was an interesting month for music! i didn’t discover as many new songs as i usually do or typically put on here, but these are my top picks for the month 

mushroom punch - zella day: zella day is on the fast track to be coming my new favorite artist bc this is a banger that’s equally as arresting as radio silence. just as punchy as the title suggests. it begs to be sung along to  

cyclone - maude lateur: the beat!!!!!!!!! absolutely a sad twerking song. it’s about realizing the self-destruction of past relationships with the beautiful comparison to a hurricane (...to soon?) it includes the build-up to expecting a disaster and the excitement buried beneath fear it incites and the heart-breaking devastation that follows

take off - prinze george: i’ve had this song stuck in my head for days and for good reason. ABSOLUTE banger. it’s selfish and greedy and all consuming in the way love is sometimes 

close to you - the wildlife: @majicmarker introduced me to this song and i haven’t recovered since. it has me down SO BAD i’m writing a whole ass fic. the eddissy vibes are off the charts and the lyrics ‘push your hands against the wall, kissing in the bathroom stall’ produced a very whoreish reaction from me ngl

lonely - ladyhawke: the yearning here... coupled with the haunting and harrowing vocals... contrasting the hopeful tone with the “hopeless” “other” in the song... the repetition of ‘run’ and ‘running’... all accumulates into this heavyhearted masterpiece that has me laying in bed and crying to. also the cover art fucks

graduating - nell mescal: oh this song... whew. it’s bittersweet. i know i describe a lot of songs on here as melancholic but this fits it to a tee. it’s also angry and hurting. like poking at a fresh bruise or an open wound. you want to heal but can’t do that without aggravating the pain, whether purposefully or not 

i wanna - ella jane: back again with the yearning! i had to google what the artist says about this song and she describes it as coming from being fed up with being single and admitting to wanting to be in love as such a vulnerable and honest and even embarrassing place and describes the chorus as “empowering” which i completely agree with. 

i WILL, however, debate with the interviewer of the article where they say the song “felt like they were in a coming-of-age film.” i wouldn’t definitively categorize this song as “coming-of-age” though i can see how it can be seen as such. it’s just not letting it live to its full potential. it’s a disservice. falling in love or realizing you want to be in love and be in a relationship isn’t limited to the ages between childhood/adolescence/adulthood. love can be found at any age! BUT i am also not trying to make this song inaccessible to people who are at that age (since ella jane is a young adult and wrote this song recently) and could benefit from hearing it

coolest fucking bitch in town - haley blais: already poured out the majority of my thoughts on this song to @152glasslippers whose tags introduced me to it and WOW. mind = blown. it’s nothing like i expected from the title and openly admit i was humbled right from the start. it’s soft yet still unapologetic and cathartic. i’ve been thinking about those trumpets ever since yesterday

[leianaberrie]

Your recent reblog just transported me back to 2015. Because whew! That whole Damon disrespecting Bonnie’s boundaries to get what Damon wants only for the racist fandom to hate Bonnie for the disaster that was 6x22 has me heated to this day. Like it was Damon Salvatore who blindsided Bonnie in 6x16 with Kai. It was Damon who the next day in 6x17 was STILL at Bonnie’s door forcing Kai on her. Because Damon only cares about what Damon wants and the show and fandom brushes it off as some sexy bad boy trait. Damon keeps hounding Bonnie with the prison world/Kai thing to the point she even says “if I give you my blood will you get out of my face?” Then this is when Damon tells Bonnie she should stick with him so then can trap Kai.

It was some tacky cheap way of framing Damon as some savior who is giving Bonnie closure. When really he is a shitty selfish friend who doesn’t respect her or her boundaries.

Then the fandom hates Bonnie? Why? I mean we know misogynoir.But I still don’t understand how anyone came to the conclusion to hate Bonnie for a situation that Damon manipulated?

Kai warned Damon against going to 1903. Bonnie didn’t want to be bothered. Neither Bonnie nor Kai had any interest in that 1903 trip till Damon took advantage of Kai’s need for forgiveness and Bonnie’s need for “closure”.

Like from an in-universe persepective 6x22 is all Damon’s fault. And of course Kai’s since he did the actual action in 6x22.

But it’s the Black woman who gets dragged to hell and hated by the fandom for the decisions and actions of white men?

Everything you said. I remember writing the scene that addresses this in Long Shadows and it was so cathartic to finally literally nail Damon’s ass to the floor for this. The 1903 sh-show was all on him. The show never holds him accountable for anything and it’s frustrating.

[frannyzooey]

hey hi! i just had to come in to your ask box because friday was a rough day for me, so i treated myself to rereading tmtc this weekend. it was one of the first din au's i ever read, and coming back to it now was so very cathartic and felt like being wrapped up in a cozy, sexy blanket.

his characterization always hits just right- a man who is both hardened to the world and open to those soft, tender feelings of wanting to protect and cherish his own. who doesn't back down when he is so sure of what he wants, physically and emotionally. that is my MAN and you've always got him down pat.

i had also missed "the morning" when it was posted, and when i tell you the emotions that ran through me from it were intense - whew. thank you so much for creating this wonderful, sweet & spicy story that brought me much needed comfort the last few days, and for many others. 💛

I cannot tell you how much this absolutely made my day when you sent it, and again right now as I’m rereading it. Rough days are hard, and as someone who often turns to rereading comfort books/fic during those times as a means to escape the world for just a moment, it means everything to me that something I wrote is a place for you to do that.

Take Me To Church is so special for me for so many reasons — the first thing I ever wrote in my life, my first dip into fandom life, the beginning of an insane amount of life changing friendships and the discovery of something that would come to bring me a lot of (at that point, completely buried) self confidence. I have always been a bit nervous about my characterization of Din in that fic because 1) I was a new writer and 2) I’m not super amazing at writing in canon and 3) nor am I great at characterization in general, so to know you see our favorite man in the qualities I wrote him to possess makes me unbelievably happy.

The Morning is so special to me as well ❤️ Getting to revisit them is one of the ways I comfort myself, slipping into their world when I need that extra blanket of love and security, and knowing that it brings comfort to others to read it? I am insanely grateful for that, and honored to share it.

The love for this story never ceases to amaze me. Thank you thank you THANK YOU for sending this to me — I love you so very much for it, and I hope your week gets better. ❤️

[clare-with-no-i]

1, 5, 6 for foreigner's god

if they strike your fancy ❤

hi Lauren!! thank you for these!

Why did you decide to write the fic this way?

HAHA. oh god. mania, perhaps?

I don't know, as weird as that sounds! I got the prompt and I thought, hm, I'm not really so much of an enemies-to-lovers writer, so the best way I could think to make them modern enemies to lovers was with them being opposing counsel on a lawsuit—something I could write with a (very small, as it would turn out) degree of confidence, and that wouldn't really present them in ideological opposition so much as circumstantial. and the decision to make the flashbacks a reference to canon was, quite honestly, a joke at first: like, haha, how crazy would it be if I…

and then I did. lol.

5. What part was the hardest to write?

the whole thing was tough. it was tough to establish their compatibility outside of the flashbacks (which was vital to me, because otherwise it's just a fated soulmate thing, which always feels hollow to me—isn't love, at its core, about choice?) but equally tough to weave the canon story in. the sheer process of writing audiovisual hallucinations was pretty hard for me. and finding an ending that satisfied me? whew!

6: What makes this fic special or different from all of your other fics?

oh gosh. the reception, fist of all: I don't think I've gotten that kind of reception on a fic ever, even just talking about the number of people that told me they cried (?!?!?)! I think this fic is also really cathartic for a lot of people, myself included: I made my own little universe where I healed the wounds of canon and let Jily and Harry live safely and happily, as they deserve :)

thank you so much Lauren, this was so fun!

[khoicesbyk]

Hii 😍

What’s your favorite part of writing?

And what’s something you struggle with when you write?

Hi Love! Thank you for the ask! I have a few answers. Starting with this one:

My favorite part about writing is getting to continue the story of my favorite characters. Like my latest TRR fic for instance.

It will be a year since TRR officially ended (I'm still thinking that PB will say sike! TRR has another book coming out! Fans rejoice!) and I missed my King and My MC and their family. So I took a cue from the end of The Royal Finale and created my latest fic Love Everlasting (I'm currently working on chapter 6!). It explores who my King and MC are both as parents to a daughter (and incoming twins) and how they navigate ruling a kingdom together.

And as far as what I struggle with: I struggle with the fact that I get distracted when I write too easily. And the fact that writer's block is REAL IN THIS HOUSE! I'm also a VERY SLOW typer. It takes me forever to type out a sentence much less a paragraph. I also lose my train of thought a lot. Like I could have an entire conversation between characters planned and talked out in my head then boom! I lose it entirely. More oftentimes than not. I also have time management issues. I have never been able to stick to a deadline. Ever. I also don't know when to start a chapter, I don't know when to put a break in a chapter.

Also, word limits are a moot point to me. Once I get over 1,000 words written I just go until I can't.

On the flipside I also find writing to be cathartic for me. I can take my imagination and aggression out on a chapter. Music also helps. Sometimes I will center a chapter around an entire song or a verse in a song.

Whew! I think that's enough blabbing for now. Thanks again, hun! 😍😘❤️💜

[unwounding]

Since starting DBT I've inadvertently taken up journaling again because I have to fill out my diary card and whew I forgot that they sprinkled crack in cathartic writing.

[10ccs]

what are some of your favorite ships with your oc?

what do you think makes your oc unique?

what qualities do you and your oc have in common?

let me talk about sam

what are some of your favorite ships with your oc?

like all of them? seriously. if you ship with me, know from the bottom of my heart i am Obsessed.

but a very special shoutout, that only OGs will remember, but sam and frank (tumblr user mutav who is no longer on tumblr) will always be so so special to me. sometimes i still go back and read our old threads. they were so fucked up and so in love and too stupid to say it out loud even though they could read each others thoughts SIGH. sam and frank will always be canon to me. star crossed lovers </3

what do you think makes your oc unique?

i genuinely don't know if i get this across as well as i'd like to, but i think sam is unique in that he's very much The Asshole Character(tm) but he's still human, you know? he's deeply wounded and very sad underneath it all. he's got LAYERS he contains multitudes!!!!! you know, like, just because someone is mean and shitty doesn't mean that they aren't hurting and don't deserve help and love.

i also don't see his kind of aesthetic around a lot so maybe also that?

what qualities do you and your oc have in common?

sam and i both have problems with anger, but in like inverse ways. he's very vocal about his anger, not afraid to show it, and i have issues even feeling anger at like a base level. writing sam can be kind of cathartic for me sometimes lmao.

he also has my music taste from when i was 15 and believed that a song wasn't a song unless it had a guitar solo in it.

also the drugs. i haven't used in years and i feel weird about calling myself an addict for reasons i won't get into here but the definition applies. whew.

[flying-elliska]

S5 Review pt.3 : the Mindboggling

Previously, I went over what I did and did not like about the season. There are still some things I have questions over or am on the fence about, plus a global opinion on the season :

The farm episode : yeah, so that was a fever dream, huh ? Honestly, I enjoyed it, overall. At that point I was so tired of the general drama that taking a step back felt good. It was extremely funny (even though the Fifi thing was like...a bit mean spirited, I still laughed.) I loved Papy Savary telling stories about his time in the army or his Jeanette, Basile waxing poetic about the countryside, Emma and her horse, Imane the city girl vs the chickens, the wheelbarrow...Comedy gold, as was Eliott making eyes at Lucas to keep his rabbit. The episode was completely gorgeous. I feel like it served the same purpose as the thrift shop clip in s3, a comedic-absurdist break in the tension to see things on the lighter side of life. But...I don’t think it worked as well. It was just long and weird and Arthur was pushed to the side. I was waiting for the boys to talk more and it didn’t happen. I feel like there was a lot more opportunity for shenanigans and group bonding to happen, but it felt very fragmented. At the end I was like...”so that was all ?” Idk what they smoked when they wrote that but I want some. 

Social media : I won’t lie I loved the Elu pictures we got, they were gorgeous and so romantic but...they looked more like promotional pictures and putting them on the accounts of the characters was extremely unrealistic. I loved the mentions of space, cyborgs, anime, etc on Arthur’s insta, they were very thematically accurate and a good add to the story. But I feel the social media in general was underwhelming this season, like a lot of what they posted were just images they found on the internet, and there were times I expected them to post and...nothing. I feel like Skam France had a few moments of utter brilliance with their social media in S3 (enter cesar ! Eliott’s drawings ! Leave a light on ! Call your girlfriend ! First day of my life!!!) and then...nothing, like they weren’t sure how to integrate it to the story and didn’t want to spend too much on it. Too bad, although the roasting is funny. 

The night time episode : I think the concept of it is absolutely brilliant (even though it was tiring lol, and I appreciate they warned us.) It’s again an amazing use of the real time format, like many of their innovations this season (like the alarms, etc). You could definitely feel Arthur’s progressive exhilaration, the lines blurring, the joy of being with people that understand him after getting excluded, breaking into the pool, etc. At the same time, since I didn’t like his thing with Noée...I was not having a lot of fun watching it. I liked that the night ended with him confiding in her about his father but to have her kiss him right away felt just...idk, inappropriate, and like it took away from the gravity of the moment. So...hmmm.

Foreshadowing s6 : Lola seems pretty intriguing. I liked the last clip, the way she stands outside the group, the way she seems to be such a problem for Daphne. I definitely think there is more going on at home than just sister rivalry. And I liked how Eliott’s position - close to the group but outside of it - mirrored Lola’s and I really hope we are finally get a friendship/mentorship at the center of a season. The repetition of Daphné having issues and refusing to talk to Basile got a bit old during the season, I have to say, but I am glad she finally confided in him. We are probably going to see Basile regularly next season and I am surprisingly happy with that. But, I am worried that shifting to an entirely new group and a new character is going to be very weird and I hope we are still going to see the old gang pass their bac and so on. 

Conclusion

The first original season of a remake feels...experimental, in both good and bad ways. Given more space, they were able to be quite creative, to deepen characters, do things OG never could, integrate a bit more humor, specify their own style, and treat new subjects. At the same time, it illustrates exactly how and why the skam style of storytelling is damn difficult to replicate : they went too heavy at times, losing the delicate balance of drama and joy ; it lacked subtlety and follow through and the plot balance felt off ; there was not enough introspective moments and they weren’t as good getting us into the POV of the main. But, overall, I am still happy they got renewed - if only to see our favorite characters grow, struggle through new things, and ultimately thrive. They gave us a wonderful insight in an underrepresented community, some excellent moments of filmmaking and acting, a look at Elu as an established couple, some really good laughs and friendship moments, and a certain amount of closure for our main squad. For that, it’s definitely my second favorite season after s3, even though it didn’t come close to evoking the same emotions. 

[enthusiasticmusicalquotes]

I want to be out and date a cute girl so fucking bad that it's a physical pain in my chest, but I'm stuck living at home for the next few years and I don't know what to do anymore; transferring to a college in a big city was my goal, but I can't afford it anymore and being stuck here even longer now might actually kill me.

that’s really hard. 

try to have faith that things will work out in the end, even if it seems absolutely hopeless. 

i think as millennials/gen z’s we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get things done now or else it will never happen. it’s important to step back and remember that, even though it sucks that you can’t do all the things you want to now, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future. 

because you’re limited in what you’re able to do right now, maybe try to start with some smaller goals and then eventually build up to stuff like dating a cute girl, moving out, going to a college in a big city, etc. 

and like i said to the other anon, we’re in a pandemic. try to take it easy on yourself. you will get to do the things you want to sometime in the future, i just know you will. xooxo

[merigreenleaf]

My inspiration: You know what would be great? Writing a story from the POV of your character with anxiety! And let's make him deal with a premonition that something bad's going to happen!

Me, who has an anxiety disorder that always gets worse this time of year: ...Can't I just write another silly one about my comic relief characters and another mythological cow? Or another water gun fight? Or... I dunno, *anything* but that?

My inspiration: Nope! Here's a kidnapping for you! Have fun!

[stormblessed95]

Hello! First and foremost just wanted to say how I enjoy reading your blog and wanted to thank you for your hard work on it ❤️ Music is a big part of BTS’s lives and usually an artist’s expression of what they are feeling or experiencing. I just wanted to know your thoughts on songs JK has written / co-written (Still with You, Magic Shop, Your Eyes Tell, Stay, My Time, etc) and if you think any of them is related to Jimin or Jikook and their relationship?

Hello anon! Thank you for the kind words 💜

Let me just start with an omg, JK is so freaking talented. All the songs he works on are absolute bangers. Okay so let's start.

Let's start with Your Eyes Tell...

Which is one of my favorites. No, I don't think this song is about Jimin. It was written as a One Shot specifically for a movie, so its fits the vibes of the movie. So no, I don't think it was written about or for anyone in particular. What DID interest me about this though is during that Japanese interview they did during that era. I feel like it gets overshadowed a bit because it's from the same moment where Jimin said that "waking up and seeing Jungkookie" bit of his. Lol but he is given 2 song choices from JK and told to pick one, Jimin picks Your Eyes Tell as his favorite. When asked why he simply looks straight at JK and says "it is a very good song and it fits my emotions lately" quite the romantic type of song to fit your emotions lately Jimin... trying to tell us something? It might mean nothing... lol but Jimin certainly was in a flirt with Jungkook mood that day. I don't think this was a song for them, but I do think Jimin might have used to to sneaky tell JK he loves him in that moment *removes tin hat* sorry, moving on!

Stay

I also don't think this has anything to do with Jimin per say. I think this is exactly what they told us it was. The entire BE album was sort of like an ARMY we miss you anthem and dealing with their emotions during the pandemic. I know it was originally part of JKs future mixtape, but it got changed up a bit and added to the album instead. Personally, I look at Jimin and his reactions to of a song JK wrote to determine if it might be meaningful to them as a couple or not.

My Time

Whew, how amazing is this song?! I think the only time this relates to Jikook is how incredibly and obviously proud Jimin is of Jungkook for this one and how much he loves this song. Jimin hypes it up a lot. I'm still thinking about that one set of interviews they did where Jimin had My Time as his background music and JK had Filter as his (sigh... love supportive boyfriends). This is an intensely emotional and deep song about the mental struggles Jungkook went through as a child star and how he essentially gave up his childhood and missed out on a lot of things. I imagine it was probably a cathartic/healing process while writing the song, while simultaneously being an emotionally draining and difficult song to write and process those things. I don't know, I'm not an artist, but I imagine that even if it ends up helping in the end, it's not always easy sorting through and dealing with all those past feelings. That could also play a part in why Jimin views that song as meaningful and why he is so proud of JK for it. Plus its a freaking killer song, I also would want to listen to it while canoeing through a serene and blissful lake surrounded by beautiful scenery!

Still With You

Ahem, now its very likely and probable that this has nothing to do with Jimin or their relationship all. I can draw some similarities with the lyrics and with the rain fight they mentioned. But honestly JK continually talks about how this was a song written for ARMY about how he misses performing for us. And again, I often look to Jimin for his reactions to songs. He seems fond of it, but in no way does he give us any indication that it means anything to him personally other than perhaps agreeing about missing their fans and performing and being proud of JK. So I really do think this is exactly what JK tells us it is. A song about missing performing in front of ARMY, doing concerts with his members for us. Which makes sense since it was written after their tour got canceled. You can all take it and view it as you see it though too.

Magic Shop

Saved this one for last on purpose! Because I can and will say that I'm like 90% positive that this song is for Jimin. And it is Jimin who gives this away for me EVERY TIME. He is so giddy and happy and excited and flustered ANYTIME they talk about this song. That one live they did for the album release where Jimin was a little more than tipsy lol they were so cute. And when he asked JK to talk about Magic Shop Jimin just looked so endeared and he started to say something about how he is ARMY again (I think? It's been awhile, I just remember making note of it) and JK literally scolding him to stop and "be quiet" 😂 Jimin about to spill too many secrets? He looked so endeared with JK talking for about the song and ARMY too.. the VIBES. Everytime Jimin talks about the song, he is beyond giddy and flustered. And the lyrics, it really feels like this song was written with an intentional double meaning, for ARMY and for Jimin. Yes, its a song for us, but I'm convinced it was written with Jimin in mind.

Here is the Comeback vlive I was talking about:

And here is another vlive where Jimin expresses his happiness and admiration for Magic Shop. About 9 minutes in is where he starts talking about how touched his was by how JK wrote this song:

I talked briefly about the filters Jimin used in regards to army asking to use it if jikook is real in another post with other theories. Its a bit on the conspiracy theory side so I don't totally buy it, but it IS an interesting coincidence. AND that he chose that filter WHILE singing Magic Shop is something else interesting to note:

AND we absolutely have to remember that Jimin is the owner of Jungkook's magic shop. And how insanely flirty they were that ENTIRE VCR film. Like the levels of flirt were very very high. Very high. And they remind us to this day (hello festa 2021) that Jimin was the owner of the magic shop. This is their song... right along with Serendipity.

I'm right there with Jimin though, this song is special. I love it so much! There are great lyrics analysis on other blogs that you can look up if you haven't seen them, I'm not getting into that here on this post.

Thanks for the ask! JK is so talented. I love his solos so much. Everything he touches really IS golden!

[kurinoot]

dinner’s ready

🎉 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ISSEI “HORSECOCK” MATSUKAWA! 🎉

pairing: matsukawa issei x pussy-owning reader

themes: [shameless] smut, 18+ mdni, post-timeskip, birthday boy issei, sexting, [slight] daddy kink, oral sex (m! receiving), rough sex, creampie, implied breeding, some aftercare if u squint uwu, just Issei calling you ‘baby girl’

wc: 2.6k

note: I know I’m not done with the valentines’ specials and the upcoming white day specials, but I was too tempted to write this anyways bc it’s my bb issei’s special day today uwu he deserves some good food birthday gift. also, this is my first smut in YEARS so please bear with me whew. also, rated spg under the cut uwu. and ALSO, thank you to @india-katsuki, @karasunomygod, @ssrated1volleyballplayer​, and @fuckinuchihas from the hqhq server for checking and proofreading this one hell of a pussy clencher ack

chant: 🎼 drip by asiahn

“Finally.”, Matsukawa sighs as he straightens up his clothes, finally glad that his shift is coming to an end. He checks his things, finalizing for the next day as he packs up his bag to finish the day and finally get a good night’s rest.

Or so he thought.

The vibration of his phone in his pocket catches him off-guard as he walks on his way to the nearest train station, fishing it out as he opens it to the sight of your text message.

baby girl: happy birthday, Issei my love! Preparing your birthday present atm hehe hope ya like it ;)

A smile draws out of his face as he hastily replies, typing out an ‘I can’t wait, baby girl!’ as he approaches the train station in a hurry to try and avoid the rush hour as much as possible; In which his efforts proved to be futile as a massive flood of passengers all went into the train, rendering them like a full can of sardines. Barely but luckily, he managed to get a tight spot for him to fit in as the train door closed in on him before the train moved again and went on.

The trip was silent, with more grunts and voices of “Excuse Me!” being heard as people constantly squeezed themselves in the jam-packed train. Issei was no different, changing and adjusting positions one at a time as passengers came and went out each station up until there were actual seats for him to sit down. As soon as seats become available, he takes the advantage for him to at least get a couple minutes of rest before he reaches his station. In the meantime, he grabs his phone back from the depths of his pocket, which vibrates in notification as soon as his hand reaches it.

To his delight, you replied back with a photo, which he could only see unlocked which he did and the next thing he knew, he was looking at a photo of your legs spread, which unraveled your bare glistening cunt in all your glory for him to see. He feels all blood drain all the color on his face as he instantly feels it all rush down to his now throbbing cock as he grapples his sling bag to desperately cover his growing and straining hard-on. He turns off his phone in the meantime, afraid of draining all of his self-control in public, as well as becoming increasingly conscious of the possible prying eyes on the photo that is currently haunting and deeply imprinting in his mind. He waits a couple more minutes long before another slew of messages from you finally nails the coffin for him.

baby girl: dinner’s getting ready and the only thing needed left is Daddy~ ;)

baby girl: I’ll be waiting ;)

“Fuck, such a tease.”, he lowly mutters in frustration, half-way tempted to ease the pain on his crotch.

That’s it, baby girl. You are so going to get it. he growls in his mind as he makes it in his station just at the right moment, still in one piece. The situation doesn’t help his throbbing crotch as he inconveniently walks past the train door hastily, feeling its tight strain on his pants as he covers it with his sling bag.

He thanks the gods as he finally reaches the doorsteps of your shared apartment unit, breathing heavily both at the way he rushed over and at his cock that was now threatening to pop out of his pants. With a pant, he reaches for the doorknob, opening it to the direct view of you on your back, preparing in the kitchen sans clothing except a frilly deep red apron that barely even covers the peaks of your nipples.

And don’t get him started with your plump ass.

You immediately hear the door open to the sounds of Issei’s footsteps, not looking back as you still prepare dinner for both you and him.

“Ah, Issei! I’m still preparing our dinner but if you’d like there are some leftovers on the table-”

He cuts you off as he violently gropes your bare ass, deliciously cupping your already wet lips as his lengthy fingers graze on its lining. You let out a yelp as you dropped the ladle you were holding in accident, desperately gripping the kitchen counter edge as the sudden intrusion of his fingers left you trembling.

“I-Issei! I-”

“I just came home and I haven’t even fingered you and yet you’re this wet for me, baby girl? Were you too excited for Daddy’s birthday today?”, he hotly whispers in your ear, biting and licking your lobe as he continues his assault on your cunt, leaving you a crying, whimpering mess.

“D-Daddy-”

“Fuck, you’re getting tighter there, baby girl.”, he grunts as your walls clenched tighter on his grazing fingers. With the other unoccupied hand, he unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants, freeing his painfully swollen cock, leaking with pre-cum as he feels all the suffering and enduring from the train earlier lift off his crotch. Much to your disappointment, his fingers slowly went out of your wet cavern, but his next words left your knees weak and body shivering.

“Kneel.”

You silently face him, albeit still reeling from the assault on your pussy, keeping your eyes on him as you obliged, kneeling to the view of his protruding cock. He rubs his hard member with the strings of your slick left on his used fingers as he preps you, rubbing your lips together as he ushers you to take him with your mouth. Getting the cue, you open them only for him to thrust inside you with speed as he grips your hair tight, triggering your gag reflex.

Issei begins thrusting relentlessly into your mouth, reaching the back of your throat as he releases a series of grunts—a cathartic indication of his earlier pent-up frustration as he closes his eyes, relishing the warm, wet feel of your mouth. He feels the flick of your tongue as you take him deeper and deeper than you’ve ever had before, prompting him to release a loud moan in delight. He lets his instincts take over him as he leverages his grip on your hair to control your head on his cock. Once he was sure that your gag reflex was nowhere in sight, he started shoving into your wet mouth more roughly than before, getting even harder as he drinks at the sight of you looking at him with tears in your eyes and saliva dripping from your used mouth.

“You like that, huh?” He moans out to which you could only partly nod in response.

Trying not to lose grip of him, you clutch onto his thighs trying to grip your remaining vestiges of consciousness as you pump your head back to meet his thrusts, forcing out a moan from him louder than ever before.

“Yes, baby girl! Keep doing that! Do it for Daddy.”

The impending frustration from earlier takes its impending toll as Mattsun knew he wasn’t going to last any longer. He shoves with greater force, feeling the precipice coming closer as you can only moan in cries at the sudden change of pace. He cries out loud as he spurts his thick loads into your mouth, stuttering his hips and grunting in pleasure before stilling as he lodges himself into your throat. 

Like the good girl you are, you swallowed them greedily, sucking out everything and leaving no traces of it behind. After a full minute of intense breathing, Issei could only watch you dazed, breathing heavily as he became more turned on at the sight of his cum threatening to leak from your mouth as he tilted your chin upwards, forcing you to swallow it whole.

He pulls you up with your arms, moving you to a clearer space on the kitchen counter as he bends you over on your stomach, licking his fingers wet as he preps your scintillating folds.

“Just so you know, I’m not done yet, baby girl.”

“Y-You do k-know that—ah!—I’m still m-making—ah!—dinner, right?” You shiver as you feel his length rubbing against your dripping slit. You hear him scoff.

“Eh? But I thought this is dinner...”, he pants out as he slams his entire dick in one go, taking advantage of the already wet state of your folds as he turns you into a moaning and shivering mess at the sudden stretch of your core. He stutters his hips slowly and rhythmically, forcing you to feel every inch and vein of his cock as the sound of his balls slapping against you only makes you aroused even more.

He changes the pace as his thrusts grew in speed and rhythm, making you choke on your saliva at the intensity as his grip on your hips tightened, “H-Hold up t-there, Issei! N-Not so f-fast!”.

You could only grip whatever you could hold on the kitchen counter as he continuously stretches you balls deep, hitting and leaving his marks on your ass as he lets out a frustrated groan. 

“Jesus, what did you expect after sending me a picture of your cunt and then say ‘Dinner’s ready?’, huh?”.

You can only cry and moan at his statement.

“T-Thick—ah!” You wail as your knuckles turn white and you feel his thrusts increase in speed at the remark that heavily petted on his masculinity.

“Look at you taking all of me so well...”, he grunted as the developing sound of wet skin slapping increases in volume and fills your entire living space. Issei takes this as a sign as he starts rubbing your sensitive clit violently with one hand as he unties your sinful apron with the other, completely exposing your back to him.

“Oh my god, Daddy! I-I’m—ugh—wanna c-cum!”

“Then cum, baby.” He lowers himself to your ear and then leaves trails of kisses on your bare back, whispering as his words send shivers down your body. It makes you clench tighter on his girth.

The clench of your cunt against his cock leaves him desperate as he feels a coiling sensation in his lower belly, feeling that he won’t last any longer as his breathing pulsed quicker and his hips pushed further and faster, reaching out further to the deep unexplored nether regions of your walls that left you screaming and crying in bliss. 

You feel his grip tighten on your waist as he cries out your name one more time, cumming into you in thick globs as he stutters his hips at each release before he stills deep into you, making sure that each drop of his seed didn’t go to waste.

Your jaw flickers in pleasure at the increasing warmth of his cum flooding your insides as you feel him slowly pulled out of your folds, disappointed at the lack of your orgasm as he maneuvers your body face-to-face with him. He lays you down tiredly on your back at the kitchen counter as you feel achy and sore from your earlier position.

“Do you think we’re done, baby girl?” He imposes as he removes the dangling apron on your neck, throwing it on the side and finally leaving your oh-so delicious perky breasts bare to him. You swore you see his eyes darken at the sight, licking his lips as his cock stood still and hard, unbeknownst to you.

Your eyes and mouth could only bulge wide in surprise as he shoves into you impatiently for the second time around, groaning at the distilled passion of your clenching walls as he uses your combined evidence of coupling as a lubrication.

It didn’t help when Issei had started his assault on your neck, leaving trails of sensitive kisses all over up until he reached one of your pert nipples. He eagerly licks them teasingly before he devoured it all in his mouth, setting your body and mind on fire at the overstimulation.

How come he’s still hard after two orgasms?, your mind dazes.

Third time’s the charm, I guess?

“D-Daddy! Ugh! T-Too sensitive! O-Oh my god!”

Issei could only cockily laugh at your plight, sending down vibrations on your currently abused nipple which only made you cry louder in pleasure. It didn’t exactly help as he continues on his deep, torrid pumping on your already sensitive folds.

This jerk… Just because he has a thick cock...

But you weren’t complaining, really.

You cling onto his neck, graciously and tightly gripping on his thick hair as the constant waves of pleasure from the heavy pounding into your pussy leaves your eyes swollen red and throat sore. His hands threatened to leave a burning mark on your hips, grasping them tightly to keep you in place as his hips went harder and faster into you.

“Y-Yes, daddy! Right there!” You moan out loud as you felt his dick reach the more deeper, unimaginable recesses of your nether regions, ones that you never knew were reachable. With a muffled grunt, he makes sure to piston his cock in the same manner and pace, leaving you further crying and wailing in bliss.

His skillful mouth leaves your abused nipple, now thoroughly coated in saliva, exposing it to the cold air and making it harden more as his one hand leaves his vice-like grip on your waist, tending to your head as he swathes your sweat-soaked hair as he pushes his lips into yours tenderly despite the ruthless pounding happening otherwise. He feels your heart pound intensely against his chest as you felt your hard, sensitive peaks brush over his broad, muscular planes.

Your mind goes into a daze as you feel the sensory overload overwhelming you in the greatest sense. The scent of sweat and sex (and just Issei’s masculine scent, oh my Lord) as well as the sound of wet skin slapping against skin was just too much for you to process.

“I—hng—love—hng—you—hng—so much!”, Issei groans out, punctuating each word per thrust as he feels the all-too familiar burning and coiling sensation in his loins, only this time more stronger than the last time. You can only see him become more desperate for release, with his face shifting to borderline pain and his moans growing louder and desperate as you mewl louder at the sensation of his thick fingers rubbing your overworked and sensitive clit.

“I-I love you t-too, Daddy!”

“Cum with me, baby.”, he groans as spasms of pure ecstasy ran down his veins.

“D-Daddy, ugh yes!”

He releases an animalistic growl, biting down your neck in intense pleasure as he feels his cum gushing out of his system and into your femininity for the second consecutive time. Altogether, he feels the sprinkling sensation of your release as he presses your sensitive nub for the final time, with your walls clenching down on him further, leaving you both exhausted in pleasure. He stills his hips into you deep one more time all before he gently pulls his now flaccid cock out of you, with a trail of his cum threatening to spill from your overworked folds. 

With a gentle touch, he presses a couple of fingers to prevent them from spilling out before he touches your lower belly, basking at the thick amounts of his cum sloshing inside you. You moan at the gesture on your still sensitive body.

“Did that feel good, my girl?” He asks tenderly, kissing you afterwards as opposed to his animalistic behavior earlier.

“Mmmh”, you hum in agreement as Issei feels all his energy fucked out of him, laying down on your chest. You gently massage his head and went to play with his thick locks of hair.

“Well then you can say that I had a good dinner, then.”

“Well happy birthday to you, then.”

all writings in here is kurinoot’s original work. please do not repost or use it to create asmr content  ©️ 2021