#which I think is an appropriate transition now that I’m 21

[stuckinapril]

This winter will be my moment I just know it. Diligent studying, regulated time on my phone, walks in the freezing cold, perfecting my skincare routine, wearing my hair curly, nourishing my body w the best foods, watching more critically acclaimed films, consuming more books, dainty gold jewelry, drinking lots more water, warm spicy perfumes, dark lip gloss, tights under miniskirts, wool sweaters, going out of my comfort zone a lot more, and just another massive growth spurt like the one I had last year around this time. I adore this time of year so much bc it always heralds a metamorphosis. I am so ready <3 <3 <3

[sasunarulesbian]

maybe no one will see this and all the better! i’m just trying to sort out my thoughts on a bunch of different kpop matters that keep circulating on twitter that make me feel icky i can’t explain it more than that. this is going to be long, so i’ll add more under the cut.

basically, there’s talk of “no minors in kpop” and i find that sooo strange. there’s this recent push to stop allowing children, tweens, and teens to participle in any sort of media or receive fame because of what happened to x, y, z child stars and because of pedos. it’s such a weird place to come from, and i’m noting it’s from ppl just entering their early 20s and leaving their teen years behind, which to me is just this age group trying to cope with the loss of childhood in the middle of a pandemic and not knowing where to start into adulthood or how to navigate adulthood and interacting with ppl younger than them. this is an assumption based on my experience during this phase, because even at 21 years old trying a dating app for the first time (and hating it, probably because of the neurodivergency) i knew i didn’t want to date 18 or 19 year olds. and at 23, when i got into kpop, i had similar feelings about getting into loona, who had members who were all younger than me, three of them minors at the time, and three more who were just 18 when i started becoming obsessed with their music and their lore. 

back to the main point, it seems these ppl are projecting their transitional feelings onto everyone else, and using this as some sort of moral code to protect minors from the horrors of the world, horrors that no one is doing anything to destroy and would rather abolish children’s roles in any kind of media. to me, there will always be a place for children in media, especially for other children and to deprive children of content featuring ppl of their own ages is crazy to me. this shift in thinking is so fucking dangerous because it’s all or nothing thinking without any action plans or reasoning. there’s nothing substantial to these claims besides “protecting children.” protecting children by hiding them away? it doesn’t make sense especially because the “protection” they’re mainly talking about is from pedos. 

to me, this sounds like the same logic as telling a girl to change her clothing so boys don’t objectify her. you can’t stop pedos just by removing one part of their “access,” you have to attack these disgusting humans at the root, and remove the problem at its source. you can’t just punish children who want to achieve their dreams because of the nastiness of these abhorrent creatures. to me, it feels like we’re going backwards instead of addressing the root of the issue, and that’s dealing with pedos, increasing sentencing for child abuse and child exploitation, and trying to find ways to protect children WHILE allowing children TO BE CHILDREN, to be normal, to enjoy things they’re allowed to enjoy, and to allow them to have agency to follow their dreams.

we JUST had a talk across online spaces about how damaging it was for us as youths to watch adults play teens, feeling inadequate about our bodies, etc. and wanting to give teen actors their big break, and then limiting the amount of sex scenes in shows and movies involving ppl supposed to be of high school age. yet here we are, suddenly no children should be allowed in media? no minors? 

now where does this land in the world of kpop? the kpop idol industry is notorious for debuting young ppl around 14 - 16 years old. what i don’t like about this discussion is that it’s heavily sexist and only focused on protecting the girls in this situation, no outcry for the boys or anything. all the agruments have to do with creepy male pedos and protecting innocent girls. ppl will say “we care about the boys, too!” but then have no reasoning for what they need to do to protect boys, because their sole reasoning is clothing that these girls wear are too revealing and bait pedos or the dances are not appropriate to their age and allow pedos to sexualize them and i think we can all see the problem with this line of reasoning-- it blames the victim. the catch all phrase “no minors in kpop” becomes easier then, because they don’t have to explain and realize that their entire argument is extremely sexist and relies on old misogyny recycled from rape culture.

we have some ppl stating “think of their mental health being famous so young.” and to that i have to dispute, because while yes, it could take a toll on their mental health, i’m sure a majority of these teens understand on some level what they’re getting into, and at least they have the support of older members to look after them in most cases, plus need parent/guardian permission for a lot of things in general. an example of this is yeojin from loona who debuted at 14, she wasn’t doing well in school, and she was not allowed to participate in debuting in a unit as per her parents’ request (hopefully i have this correct because i read this a long time ago).

i will contend that it is worrisome that there is a lot of staff around them all the time, and a majority of these ppl are producing the group, giving them the music, concepts, and choreo, styling them, etc, and that could be problematic. yet there is that line of whether or not the group has the say in the styling or concepts, etc. this part of the discussion is definitely up for more in depth looks, as all companies operate differently, so we can’t know for sure the exact behind the scenes for every group. i think this is the most problematic part of minors debuting, however i don’t believe this will stop young ppl with talent, ambitions and dreams from becoming trainees. 

another reason why this is bothersome is because half of these ppl discussing this are westerners, mainly americans who are pointing their fingers at south korea when a wholeass state (florida) has NO CHILD LABOR LAWS which is why many film/show makers choose to film there. there is a lot of problems with the US film industry and children based on labor laws and child abuse and exploitation, so maybe because these things are being revealed heavily at the moment in america, ppl are pointing to south korea for something similar or even worse. south korea has a limit on how many hours children 15 and under are allowed to work, and has a specific curfew for all minors under 18. i saw SO MANY TWEETS when this was first a topic of discussion from ignorant ass westerners (again, mainly americans) saying shit like “i don’t know if they even have labor laws.” it’s easily googleable. you can google “south korean child labor laws” and the first FIRST article that pops up specfically addresses a new law enacted in 2015 (when idol groups were really starting to ramp up) for idols who are minors. again, it’s hard to say what happens behind the scenes in the idol industry, but again, these are mainly westerners making a fuss without attempting to bridge the gap to korean citizens to have a discussion about this. korean citizens are the only ones who can make waves in their own county regarding this issue.

yes, i do find it extremely creepy that there are men who stan girl groups filled with minors and that has been a problem for a long time, but the problem isn’t solved by shoving minors away and out of the spotlight. disgusting freaks will always exist, and it doesn’t get rid of them! we’re punishing ppl for following their dreams (again, more the girls than the boys which is sexist) and not doing anything about creepy pedos existing. the idea is to shame pedos out of spaces they do not belong, not shame these girls who are dressing normally for teens their age. not to pay particular attention to their clothing or their dancing, because south korean boys and girls deserve to have idols their age to look up to as well. because these creepy ass ppl will sexualize anything and everything that moves, regardless of clothing worn. 

it’s like this: it’s no way to live on edge constantly that you can’t be free and go about your life without someone looking at you in sexual light. it’s no way to live to be hyper aware of everyone around you, worried someone is leering at you. 

my main problem is that this whole situation has morphed into many of these ppl unintentionally oversexualizing everything and seeing casual listeners or casual fans who know the members and want to casually support the group by buying their albums here and there as weirdos who shouldn’t be doing that if they are of a certain age. there is nothing inherently sexual about listening to music or about learning members names, or buying an album to monetarily support the group you like. i saw “why are you as a 20+ year old owning photocards of minors” and was so confused. there is nothing inherently sexual about buying an album!! there is nothing sexual about owning randomized photocards pulled from said album!! an example of this is le sserafim, who has one minor in their group. i LOVE this group, and many former wiz*ones began to like the group because 2 former iz*one members are in this group. if i buy an album and happen to pull eunchae, the only minor, does that make me weird? why would that make me weird? 

billlie is another group i love that has 2 minors in the group and because they’re a much lesser-known group, i have bought their albums to support them and give them more success, and i have pulled photocards of those minors. why would that be weird? it’s a random photocard. i’m not solely being obsessed with said minors and constantly trying to collect their pcs, i’m buying albums to support them and enjoying whatever pcs i get. i’m enjoying their music and loving their lore and content, and wishing them success so they can continue to make more music.

as someone who got into kpop during 4th gen (2018), i tried to become invested in other 3rd gen groups, but i’m only super obsessed with bts and had the hyperfixation ability to digest their 5 years of content. i also like red velvet and twice, but because i got into them super late and wasn’t as interested in stanning them, it felt like a burden to catch up with all of their content, and as a result felt less connected with them, though i do buy their albums and love their new music. it was easier for me to connect to recently debuted groups, which is why i ended up becoming attached to loona, then eventually billlie and le sserafim. 

it’s so odd to me that ppl think 20+ ppl are enjoying kpop with their genitals or something. it’s actively wearing on me in a sense because i feel like i’m one step away from being attacked on twitter, but also just attacked in general/irl for my interests, and it’s really REALLY hard for me to deal with that. i’ve always been too intense about interests, and i’m sure it’s because i’ve lived with undiagnosed autism/adhd or both. i’m basically either hyperfixated on kpop or it’s my special interest at this point. i’ve been so fucking depressed and kpop is the only thing that has gotten me through this rough summer (i took a whole month off work bc of my mental health). regardless, the point is, i’m sure there’s many others who are feeling similarly, like they can’t enjoy their interest without feeling ousted by younger ppl or feeling like we’re one step away from being dogpiled for just existing as an adult with a hobby that just happens to be kpop.

i do think this is also very touchy for me because i am someone who experienced sexual harassment as a child (from another child on separate occasions/ages) and feel disgusted that my special interest, kpop, is being looked at this horrific light when all i want to do (and i imagine many others who love kpop want to do) is enjoy music, enjoy cool music videos, enjoy cool backstories if the group has their own universe, learn fun dances, and have fun. it’s very triggering to constantly see this kind of discussion about who’s a weirdo, who’s a pedo, etc.

i do think these ppl are of the generation who have been exposed to sexual content far too young and tend to look at things in more of a sexual light than normal. it could also be these ppl’s intrusive thoughts that they’re not realizing are intrusive sexual thoughts, and are projecting such onto twitter (which is awful because before managing my anxiety, i used to get unwanted sexual intrustive thoughts OFTEN and it made me feel super disgusted with myself and this is just lowkey triggering that back).

the end of this is just kinda my thoughts on everything and how it affects me personally, but the entire “no minors in kpop” discussion is very much a valid thing to bring up, i just wish the ways it was discussed wasn’t so black and white and so very pointedly ignoring other children in media, particularly americans ignoring their own country’s problems as usual. 

i wonder if they find some of these young idols to be pretty/handsome, cute/adorable and think that equates to finding them attractive in the wrong sense, and causes them a moral panic. as someone who has fought these intrusive thoughts and won, it’s totally innocent to think children/tweens/teens are adorable, cute, talented, and pretty/handsome. to me it’s never a sexual thing, it’s like calling my younger cousins cute/adorable, pretty/handsome, etc. i would never look at it this way. would it be weird for your own parents to call a young person in media cute/adorable or pretty/handsome? i don’t think it would be because it’s a completely innocuous comment made in passing. none of these things are sexual in nature because that’s not what they’re intended as. or maybe they see the pretty/handsome idols who are minors and think “oh no if i see them innocently and they’re pretty/handsome, how will pedos see them?” but it’s also such an awful way to live your life to think like that... idk i’m trying to access how ppl think. i did have to reconcile my feelings with these things as well as i transitioned into my 20s, and it took me until i treated my anxiety and turned 25 and my brain was finally fully developed so i realized that no, nothing has to be sexual if it isn’t to you, some things truly are innocent. BRING BACK INNOCENCE. USE INNOCENCE. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE SAYING YOU ARE.

it seems to be the case that many of these ppl are saying “because we as adults want to continue to enjoy kpop without feeling weird or reconciling these feelings while transitioning into adulthood, we do not want minors in kpop.” and i only say this could be the case because the arguments for it are seemingly without actual plans for protecting these minors from creepers by dealing with said creepers.

this is so long. i probably shifted a lot of perspectives throughout this, but that’s how i sort my thoughts/feelings and then access the information into a conclusion. i love to do this through discussion, but twitter is NOT the place for this kind of discussion without ppl pointing figners and being unable to reflect and think critically about things without immediately resorting to black and white moral policing. i operate in grays, and i should be able to say things that are innocuous, but things that ppl tend to not say aloud lest they be seen as some weirdo. i’ve been called a weirdo my entire life, i can take it. i’d rather leave all possibilities out into the open to slap ppl in the face with than have them moving around acting like they have the moral solution to something that could very well just be their own personal mindset that needs to be worked through and overcome. 

anyway, i just want to say that kpop makes me happy and i will continue to love and support the groups i love no matter what. 

[avinaccia]

A Completely Objective and Logical Ranking of Every Hetalia Character Song

New character songs are dropping,  I have too much time on my hands, let’s go. 

Also here’s a Youtube playlist for the ~✨nostalgia✨~

Bring it on in the tags 

71. Ah Legendary Class⭐The Awesome Me Highway [Prussia]: Absolutely tearing it up on the drums and on the vocal cords alike (I pray for Atsushi Kousaka). Great for the memes. 

70.  Happy Thoughts Museum [???]: This is listed as an official song but I had literally never heard of the title. Then I listened to it and BAM! Smack back to 2013 watching the teasers for the show on Funimation. Not sure I’d count it as a character song though...

69. (Nice)  My Song that is written by me for me [Prussia]: Deafened me but I can appreciate the industrial grind.

68.  My House is...Quiet. ~With the Trolls~ [Norway]: I have never heard this song, nor can I find any version of it online. By default it goes here and I am so sorry Norge.

67.  Make a Wish to Santa♪ [Sealand]: The discordant notes and childish exuberance only serve to make this sound like a demonic plea to Santa to eliminate the singer’s enemies.

66.  Heaven and Hell on Earth [Rome]: Rome sounds like he’s been in the corner of a restroom. Extra points for the metal version, minus points for the fact that the beach scene was replayed like 1764 times.

65. Canada Complete Introduction [Canada]: Quiet af until Kumacheerio shows up and blows out your speakers. they did you dirty my darling 😔

64.  It’s Easy!!! [America]: I don't think any video of this has ever stayed up for more than 20 seconds. Sounds cool, but like I was listening to 20 different genres at once, someone make him calm down.

63.  Bù Zàiyì the Small Stuff ☆ [China]: I cannot for the life of me find the complete song anywhere, clips have a cool beat though

62.  Let's Boil Hot Water♪ [Italy]: Exactly what it says on the tin..though a bit too close to elevator music for my tastes.

61.  The Fragrance of Early Summer [Japan]: Very ‘from the books’ Japan-esque song

60.  Peace Sounds Nice…[Baltic Trio]: All well and good until the radio demon shows up

59.  W●D●C ~World Dancing~ [America]: How a song can sound like it’s from 4 different decades at once is beyond me

58.  Overflowing Passion [BFT]: This is just drunken karaoke and I have 0 clue what’s going on #iconicforallthewrongreasons

57. Ren●Ren●Renaissance♪ [Rome+Chibitalia]: Wholesome Grandpa with Grandson content - barring the fact that Italy sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Rome has had too much wine.

56.  Roma Antiqua [Rome]: Similar energy to any one of China’s songs - there’s a part of the song where it sounds like he’s singing in the shower, and I will never not laugh at [CENSORED]

55.  Country From Where the Sun Rises, Zipangu [Japan]: Very chill, very Japan, but just meh for me.

54.  Moon Over Emei Shan [China]: Good message, okay song.

53.  My Friend [England]: What a mind palace you must have Mr. Kirkland

52.  With Love, from Iceland [Iceland]: Three words: Heavy. Metal. Puffin.

51.  Having Friends is Nice...♫ [Russia]: Russia is the cutest thing ever

50.  Mm. [Sweden]: Smooth transition from WWE Smackdown to shopping at IKEA.

49.  Why don’t you come over? ~Beyond the Northern Lights~ [Iceland]: I don’t want to be mean but...this does sound like the second closing theme to an anime whose first closing was much more popular (à la Soul Eater)

48. Gakuen☆Festa [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Sounds like a 60s song of the summer but oh dear their voices do not go together. Hella cute though.

47.  Wa! Wa!! World Ondo [Main Cast]: One time I travelled 10 hours in a coach bus with a bunch of teenagers to a city of note in my country, and the only souvenir I bought was the fucking PAINT IT WHITE DVD. Perfectly chaotic, UN ĐĕùX~~

46.  In the Bluebell Woods [England]: In the album cover for this song he’s holding a guitar but this is not a rock song. Still has ‘running through the hills’ levels of dramatism though.

45.  Poi Poi Poi♪ [Taiwan]: You’re telling me that Taiwan, someone whose has *ONE LINE* in Beautiful World (which is criminal tbh what kind of representation-) managed to get an eNTIRE CHARACTER SONG???????

44.  White Flame [Russia]: There’s something to be said for a song that is 3x the length of any Hetalia episode

43.  Ich liebe… [Germany]: Baking cakes for your friends has never been so wholesome.

42.  We Wish you a Merry Christmas [America, China, England, France, Russia]: Nice to see they’ve gotten their shit together since United Nations Sta-hmm.

41.  Ah, Worldwide à la mode [France]: Sounds like a Disney Princess song, hard not to picture France frolicking in a field of flowers.

40.  Che Bello! ~My House is the Greatest!⭐~ [Italy]: Would not be out of place in an advertisement for Sea World.

39.  May You Smile Today [Japan]: THE feel good song of the summer

38.  Let’s Look Behind the Rainbow [Italy]: I will protect you.

37.  I'm your HERO☆ [America]: “Anyone who’s sad or sullen will be arrested” did NOT age well.

36.  Mein Gott! [Prussia]: Alternating headphone effect at the beginning is cool, so is the confidence...the actual singing on the other hand...

35. Nihao⭐China [China]: Listen, all of China’s character songs are great, I just can’t vibe with this one like some of the others.

34.  Pechka ~Light My Heart~ [Russia]: I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that this and Winter were released at the same time.

33.  Pukapuka⭐Vacation [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Seems just a bit too much like they’re running on a treadmill that’s picking up speed and trying to sing at the same time. Peppy.

32.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town [Germany, Italy, Japan]: This is unironically the best song sung by this trio; can only vibe with for two months out of the year though.

31.  Excuse Me, I Am Sorry [Japan]: Japan’s character traits speedrun. Gives me barbershop quartet vibes for some reason but is catchy as hell.

30.  The Story of Snow and Dreams [Russia]: A superhero anime opening in the making

29. England’s Evil Demon Summoning Song [England]: Sir that is not how you roast a marshmallow, don’t cut yourself on that edge.

28.  Moi Moi Sauna♪ [Finland]: Exactly the type of song you’d expect and it’s wonderful

27.  United Nations Star⭐ [America, China, England, France, Russia]: This isn’t as much of a song as it is a four minute struggle for everyone to sing without America yelling every 5 seconds...Like a particularly musical episode of Hetalia.

26.  Paris is Indeed Splendid [France]: Paris-pa-pa-pa-paris

25.  Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman [England]: Poppy, rocky, polka-dotty

24.  Vorwärts Marsch! [Germany]: To quote the comment section: “This sounds like a German version of I’ll Make a Man out of you.” There’s some truth to that.

23.  Hamburger Street [America]: The product of America’s rapper phase. 8/10 because he’s trying so hard and because I can unironically sing along to all of this.

22.  Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy [Hong Kong]: A song that would absolutely destroy the ankles of anyone in DDR.

21.  I Am German-Made [Germany]: There was once a version that had Germany and Prussia singing at the same time and it sounded positively demonic and Broadway could never

20.  La pasión no se detiene ~Unstoppable Passion~ [Spain]: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping...

19.  Fall in Love, Mademoiselle [France]: Sounds like it should be in Mozart Opera Rock, I have kiss kiss falled in love.

18. Embrace the Très Bien Moi [France]: This is the definition of SELF LOVE PEOPLE. 

17. Carrot and Stick [Belarus&Ukraine]: Absolutely DRIPPING in 2000s power ballad energy. The type of song that plays on repeat in the mind of the widow whose millionaire husband ‘mysteriously disappeared’ (and the only legit character song ever acknowledged by the anime)

16. C.B.C (Cowboyz Boot Camp) Vol. 1 [America]: AH MAH GAWWDDD

15. Winter [Russia]: Heavy metal fever dream and the perfect song for an angst-ridden teenager

14.  Seychelles Here ⭐ Vacation Island [Seychelles]: UN👏DER👏RA👏TED SONG👏OF 👏THE 👏SUM👏MER👏

13.  Nah, it will settle itself somehow [Romano]: One day I aspire to reach this level of chill

12.  Let’s Enjoy Today [England]: I will never not feel happy when listening to this.

11.  Einsamkeit [Germany]: Ludwig manages to air every single one of his worries about not being good enough compared to his friends and always being perceived as mean or uptight when he’s actually just a softie and now my heart hurts. 💔

10.  Aiyaa Four Thousand Years [China]: A very poignant and beautiful song about the passage of time and the inevitability of its passing; comparable to an ancient ballad complete with explosive crescendos and meaningful lyrics.

9.  Bon Bon Bon❤️C’est Bon C’est Bon! [France]: Peppy, cheerful, adorable, groundbreaking; has been my alarm tone for six years and I’ve yet to tire of it. 9/10 The moaning interspersed throughout has been an interesting wake-up call.

8.  Let’s Enjoy! Let’s Get Excited! Cheers! [Denmark]: This is on par with Everytime we Touch by Cascada in terms of rage potential unlocked (the good kind)

7.  Dream Journey [Japan]: Whoever’s playing the shakuhachi is absolutely KILLING IT. Dramatic, wonderful, great metaphors.

6.  Gourmet’s Heart Beginner Level [China]: Absolute banger, I’m a vegetarian but this would inspire me to eat shumai.

5.  Always with you...Nordic Five! [Nordic FIVVVVVEEEE]: Everyone harmonizes beautifully except for Denmark. Extremely catchy, number placement seemed appropriate. 

4.  Pub and GO! [England]: I love this trash man

3. Maji Kandou⭐Hong Kong Night [Hong Kong]: If you thought Denmark’s song was a banger JUST YOU WAIT. I WILL BLOW OUT MY SPEAKERS LISTENING TO LO-HA-SU.

2. Steady Rhythmus [Germany]: THIS SONG IS METAL AF. Seriously, if it can be classified as ‘hardcore’ by my father and his group of 50-somethings who have decided to single-handedly gatekeep the metal and hardrock genres, it can do anything.

1.  The Delicious Tomato Song 🍅 [Romano]: Beautiful, absolutely awe-inspiring, poignant, catchy lyrics with an extremely deep meaning that only years of meticulous research and analysis can unlock, Romano I love you.

BONUS: Closing Songs

5. Hatafutte Parade (World Series) 

4. Hetalian⭐Jet (The World Twinkle): The song is good, the dancing is cursed 

3. Chikyuu Marugoto Hug Shitainda (World⭐Stars)

2. Marukaite Chikyuu (Hetalia: Axis Powers): nE NE PaPA

1. Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo (The Beautiful World)

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mars enters retrograde zone

Timeline (current events in bold)

Saturday, July 25, 2020, 14:10 UT - transiting Mars enters retrograde zone, 15:14 Aries

Wednesday, September 9, 2020, 22:22 UT - transiting Mars stations retrograde, 28:08 Aries

Saturday, November 14, 2020, 00:36 UT - transiting Mars stations direct, 15:14 Aries

Saturday, January 2, 2021, 19:10 UT - transiting Mars exits retrograde zone, 28:08 Aries

Before I even get started, the main thing I want everyone to take from any of this is to SLOW THE F*$& DOWN. It’s a guarantee that anything you try to start &/or accomplish between July 25 and September 9 will be revisited, when Mars is retrograde - and then, re-revisited, after Mars stations direct.

My #1 source for Rx Zone issues, Martin Bulgerin (www dot biopscinst dot com), has this to say about Mars retrograde:

During Mars retrograde periods, we get to experience how we sabotage our own actions, preventing us from achieving what we desire to do. The ability to express your will-power seems thwarted. The key here is to discover what is keeping you from effective action and changing it. This inner nemesis may be an over active temper, an impatience with planning when you can rush into activity, or simply a lack of awareness that causes you to ignore useful clues. This is not a good time to initiate new projects that require perseverence, nor is it easy to work with others during this cycle.

In a perfect world, we took to heart all the lessons about effective Mars expression, back when Mars was in Pisces. We learned how to be more of a Zen master than a trigger-happy soldier. Unfortunately, this is 2020. As if it isn’t bad enough to have Mars Rx in his own sign, DURING AN ELECTION YEAR IN THE US, we have a series of difficult aspects which transiting Mars is going to “do” three times each: Mars will square Pallas Athene, Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto, three times each; Mars will also conjunct Eris/Aries three times.

Anyway, here we are in the pre-Rx zone. Issues that we’re going to have to deal with, during the time Mars is actually retrograde, will begin to crop up. Ms M has a strong natal Mars and has seen the writing on the wall, so to speak, for a few days now. I suggest that, if you’re also the possessor of a strong natal Mars (or Aries or Scorpio, or the 1st or 8th Houses), make notes on your planner about issues that crop up. Date and time, like that.

I haven’t gone into detail about the aspects of a planet, in quite some time. If I were you, I would pay attention to the transiting aspects that you may have in your natal chart. For example, I have natal Mars square natal Pallas Athene; I’m going to feel that set of squares very strongly.

You may also want to pay attention to any of the aspects that will trigger something in your own chart, regardless of whether or not you have it natally. The Mars-Saturn square on August 24, for example, will ding my natal Mercury/Gemini.

Finally: a few hours after Mars enters his Rx Zone (03:50 UT on Sunday, July 26), the Moon transiting Libra will oppose him. If we’re awake and aware, we should definitely feel this thing beginning to ratchet up.

Monday, July 27, 21:46 UT - Mercury/Cancer square Mars/Aries, 16:20

Third of three. This is the first non-lunar aspect Mars makes, and sets the tone for the whole experience. From Merc’s point of view, Mars is insensitive, cruel, and selfish; from Mars’ point of view, Merc whines too much and never wants to stand up for itself. My suspicion is that Mars is going to pick up on something unresolved from the recent Mercury Rx (some perceived insecurity), and run with it. Be smarter than that.

Placements affected lie between 15:20 and 17:20 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 0:20 and 2:20 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.

Wednesday, July 29, 05:02 UT - Pallas Athene Rx/Capricorn square Mars/Aries, 16:51

First of three. You never like to see the warrior squabbling with the master strategist. Pallas Athene is telling Mars to follow procedures, perhaps, and Mars just wants to trash everything with his sword. Again, this may “just” manifest as some issue we’ll have to face more thoroughly during Mars’ retrograde.

Placements affected lie between 15:51 and 17:51 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 0:51 and 2:51 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.

Tuesday, August 4, 13:06 UT - Jupiter Rx/Capricorn square Mars/Aries, 19:44

First of three. If I were telling a story (and I kind of am), it’s almost like Mars didn’t like the orders he got from Captain Pallas Athene, so he’s protesting up to General Jupiter. Which I don’t think is “done” in the Army! We could get carried away and overconfident; we may consent to take on some project that is way, way over our heads and/or our paygrades.

Placements affected lie between 20:44 and 22:44 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 5:44 and 7:44 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.

Thursday, August 6, 07:30 UT - Neptune Rx/Pisces semi-sextile Mars/Aries, 20:28

First of three. Much of the reason for the typical Martian bravado and belligerence can be found in the fact that the sign which precedes it, in the Zodiac, is Pisces. Mars/Aries is a reaction to Neptune/Pisces. Mars is essentially trying to banish, or at least cover up, what it perceives as all the Neptunian insecurity. A very subtle situation arises where the two different fighting styles are contrasted. Take good notes.

Placements affected lie between 19:28 and 21:28 of all signs. You’ll probably feel that one of these planets is helping you, and the other is hindering you.

Thursday, August 13, 07:13 UT - Pluto Rx/Capricorn square Mars/Aries, 23:05;  Friday, August 14, 19:40 UT - Ceres Rx/Pisces (8:35) semi-square Mars/Aries (23:35)

First of three, for both of them. Mars is beginning to slow down considerably, giving us this sort of “two-fer” situation to deal with. We all know the mythology between Ceres and Pluto, right? Here, Pluto is the strict, traditional husband; while Ceres is the anxious, overprotective mom. Now here comes Mars, spoiling for a fight. Whatever arises from this, it should be easier to separate the issues during Mars’ retrograde, and address them more appropriately.

Placements affected lie between 22:05 and 24:35 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 7:05 and 9:35 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.

Sunday, August 16, 14:01 UT - Sun/Leo trine Mars/Aries, 24:09;  Monday, August 17, 05:28 UT - Mercury/Leo trine Mars, Aries, 24:21;  Monday, August 17, 16:39 UT - Eris Rx/Aries conjunct Mars/Aries, 24:29 (First of three)

I honestly looked at this situation and thought, “Hubris.” The braggadocio levels are off the charts. I’m thinking about all these so-called “militia” types we have in the US, the bunch of ugly idiots brandishing their guns all the time. And you know what’s really unsettling? August 17 is the beginning of the Democratic National Convention. Expect clown cars, I guess.

Placements affected lie between 23:09 and 25:29 of all signs. Planets in yang signs (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius) will get more of a positive “boost” out of this, i.e., easier to express the energies.

Saturday, August 22, 14:04 UT - North Node/Gemini sextile Mars/Aries, 25:49; South Node/Sagittarius trine Mars/Aries, 25:49

First of three. The trine between the South Node and Mars makes it easy for us to “act up” in ways that have worked for us in the past. And in ways we’ve enjoyed acting up. However, we’re supposed to be going toward the North Node! We have opportunities here to “trade notes” and compare experiences with other people. There are smarter ways to get what we want. And we don’t have to fight all alone.

Placements affected lie between 24:49 and 26:59 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.

Monday, August 24, 18:19 UT - Saturn Rx/Capricorn square Mars/Aries, 26:19 (First of three);  Wednesday, August 26, 03:48 UT - Mercury (11:36 Virgo) sesquare Mars (26:36 Aries)

In case you were wondering, this is the week scheduled (as of July 24) for the Republican National Convention. Remember that astrological cliche about how Mars is the gas pedal and Saturn is the brakes? Maybe Mercury can be the backseat driver, snarking out unhelpful instructions?! (This is also when my school district plans on opening schools back up.) There is some absolutely infuriating situation which may be too impossible to extract ourselves from. Alas for us, the revisit of Mars-Saturn, during the retrograde (Sept 23-24), will feature Merc in Libra opposing Mars and squaring Saturn. (However, for the third and final Mars-Saturn square, Merc is otherwise occupied.)

Placements affected lie between 25:19 and 27:36 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 10:19 and 12:36 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.

Friday, September 4, 09:12 UT - Venus/Cancer square Mars/Aries, 27:55; Friday, September 4, 13:15 UT - Mercury/Virgo inconjunct Mars/Aries, 27:55;  Saturday, September 5, 01:54 UT - Sun/Virgo (12:58) sesquare Mars/Aries (27:58)

The final “situation” before Mars stations retrograde sees all the personal planets ganging up on Mars. (The Moon will be conjunct Mars on Sept. 5-6.) This is where Mars has to face facts - the old ways aren’t working any more. Venus is cutting him off, the Sun is backing up Venus (and being snarky about it to both parties), and Mercury is detailing all the ways he’s being ineffective. In the US at least there’s a long holiday weekend for Mars to contemplate all this.

Placements affected lie between 26:55 and 28:08 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn; and between 11:55 and 13:08 of the mutable signs Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.

[lovebugs-and-snakecharmers]

LBSC Sprint Challenge 2/10-17/21

The LBSC Sprint Challenge is now open! The prompts are:

"...I'm not smooth." "Believe me, Couffaine, you're smooth." (reminder you are welcome to reverse the roles on this or any other prompt!)

“Everyone’s gone, why are you still kissing me?” “Because I don’t think I can stop.”

“He’s not my boyfriend alright! He’s just incredibly loving, and we share a bed, and we have sex, and he offers me emotional support, and we share our dreams together. It’s not a relationship.” 

Celebrity Couple

Back Hug

Wildcard - pick any of the previous challenge prompts, or any of the prompts available from our sister blog, @mlweeklyprompts

You have until Wednesday, February 17 to complete your 3 15-minute sprints and post the results. Once you’ve completed the sprints, you have 24 hours to edit (which can include some new writing to smooth transitions and make it feel complete).

Please note you may sprint in the language of your choice, and you can either translate the final fic before posting, post it in the original language, or both as you choose. You can join us on the sprint challenge discord or sprint on your own! Just be sure to tag @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers in your final post so we will see it and reblog it. The rest of the rules can be found here under the cut.

Artists are now invited to participate!

Rules!

We’ll post a beginning and end date to the challenge, and a prompt. If you choose to participate in the event, write for that prompt in up to three 15 minute sprints. No writing outside the sprints until you have completed all three! After the 3 sprints are complete, you have 24 hours to edit (which can include some new writing to smooth transitions, etc). You can also choose to break that 45 minutes up differently if you find a different split works better for you.  After those 24 hours, post what you’ve got. Tag your posts with @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers so we can reblog it to the LBSC blog. If you post your work on AO3 or somewhere other than Tumblr, you can leave a link in our ask box or in the appropriate discord channel so we can be sure to promote it. You’ll have approximately one week to complete the challenge, with the goal being for everyone’s work to be posted by the designated challenge end date.

Artists, you have 45 minutes to sketch and 24 hours to do any cleanup or coloring you’d like to complete. You can split your 45 minutes up however you like, or not at all. There’s no requirements on your finished piece, just aim for whatever goal seems challenging but achievable to you. See additional challenge rules below. You’re also welcome to join the discord (see above), and we’d love to have some feedback on how the challenge works for you! If you’re wavering as to whether or not you think you can accomplish anything in 45 minutes, we really encourage you to give the challenge a try. You may be surprised what you can do! Feel free to join us in the discord linked above so we can encourage and cheer you on.

Obviously, this has to run a bit on the honor system and we won’t be tracking your times, but please do your best to honor the spirit of the challenge! If your sprint fic becomes an Entire Thing (these things happen sometimes) and you want to continue it, feel free! However, please still post whatever you’ve got after your 3 sprints with the tag. No fair busting out a fully polished fic or art without showing us what it looked like at the challenge stage!

Feel free to sprint in whatever language is most comfortable to you! You can post it in your own language or translate it before posting, or both!

We want to keep this a positive space and event! This does NOT mean that you can’t write or draw anything critical of a character or episode, but it isn’t the space for character bashing or hate either. Please keep the characters in character and save the more speculative work for another time. NSFW sprint fics are permitted but must be tagged appropriately (please use “NSFW LBSC sprint fic challenge” for easy filtering on the blog) and with appropriate warnings.  (More FAQ about the process here)

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 21

Happy 2nd birthday to these Round Ups! For two years I’ve been making monthly pop culture picks, and they’ve included:

More than 200 movies

32 TV shows and specials, plus 8 different Saturday Night Live Round Ups

27 albums, singles, playlists, and more music picks

13 podcasts

12 books

2 concerts

There have also been articles, events, museums, social media bits, trailers, and a service that helps you find movies across streaming platforms. (Find all of them here.) This month I’m adding a few more, like: 

2 podcasts

2 albums

5 vampire movies

A conversation between two GOATs

A very funny dead guy

A terrifying Robert Mitchum performance

Another Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed

Here’s to another year!

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. Jungle Cruise (2021)

Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Caribbean with a dash of The African Queen. I like all those movies, so sue me, I had a nice time! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Genetically-enhanced sharks try to break free of their cages in an ocean research facility, chaos ensues for the characters, and it’s a delight for us. For no intelligent reason, I love movies that make me guess who’s going to get killed off next, so a big dumb shark movie starring L.L. Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson? It’s a particular brand of joy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10

3. Double Feature — Adam Sandler Comedies: 50 First Dates (2004) + Murder Mystery (2019)

Adam Sandler movies are little like IcyHot for the brain—that is, they’re the relaxing kind of mind-numbing. Thanks to a stressful month at work, I watched six Sandler flicks in August—which I don’t necessarily recommend but also don’t regret—and the Netflix original Murder Mystery (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) was one of the the best of the bunch. It’s a silly spoof of Agatha Christie’s work, and it’s a scenic two-hour European vacay. I also gave 50 First Dates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) another try and was pleasantly surprised. Once you get past some of the gross-out humor at the beginning, you’ll find a sweet story all about how we need to keep showing up for the people we love.

4. Double Feature — SNL Comedies: Wayne’s World (1992) + Hot Rod (2007)

My love for Saturday Night Live is more than well-documented, so exactly zero mes were surprised that I loved these flicks from its alums. Wayne’s World (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10) follows up with Wayne and Garth in the basement we first saw on late night. Now they have the opportunity to make it big on TV thanks to a sleazy exec (Rob Lowe). Brian Doyle-Murray and Chris Farley show up, and so do Laverne and Shirley? Hot Rod (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10) follows Rod (Andy Samberg) as he tries to make it big as a stuntman and impress his stepdad (Ian McShane). Will Arnett, Bill Hader, and Chris Parnell show up, and now I can mostly forgive all those boys in high school who quoted this movie non-stop.

5. Weekend at Bernie’s (1989)

If those SNL comedies weren’t enough silliness for you, how about you add some Bernie to your lineup? Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are wannabe-yuppies who think they’ve got their  career breaks when an exec named Bernie invites them to his vacation home for the weekend. What they don’t know is that Bernie (Terry Kiser) has been laundering money, is connected to the mob, and, is now, um, dead. The right thing would be to call the police, but then we wouldn’t have a 97-minute high-concept comedy, now would we? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Twilight series (2008-12)

I mostly skipped the Twilight phenomenon at its peak, but I’m so glad I hopped on the train years later—this series of vampire vs. werewolf showdowns are ridiculous.  But major kudos to the filmmakers who somehow turned a dump truck of nonsensical gobbledygook and unhealthy teenage relationships into something insanely watchable. Also, major kudos to Billy Burke and his understated, curmudgeonly, sarcastic performance. Bella’s dad is the MVP with the only appropriate responses to all of the nonsense he's forced to participate in and the only tether this franchise has to reality. Be sure to watch with a friend so you have someone else to process this weirdness with. Series Crowd: 8/10 // Series Critic: 5/10

7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at The Muny

You know what’s great? Live theater! This month I made my first trip back to the stage at America’s oldest and largest outdoor amphitheater, the Muny in St. Louis. Their productions never disappoint, and these performers reminded me of Howard Keel, Jane Powell, and Russ Tamblyn in the best ways. 

8. Wimbledon (2004)

Paul Bettany and Kirsten fall in love at Wimbledon! Frankly, that premise alone should be enough to sell you on this very winning rom-com. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

9. Career Opportunities (1991)

This month’s Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly fall in love while stuck overnight at a Target—which honestly sounds like a dream scenario—and since it’s a John Hughes script, it’s got some heart beneath its thin premise. John Hughes directing would’ve made it better, but there’s enough Hughes in there to catch my heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 4.5/10

10. First Blood (1982)

Aka Rambo: Part I. Sylvester Stallone is a tough-as-nails Vietnam vet, and Brian Dennehy is the self-righteous sheriff who ticks him off. It digs a bit into PTSD and how we don’t take care of our veterans, but mostly, it’s just Stallone going ape with a knife and explosives. Oddly, also from the same director as Weekend at Bernie’s! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

August Critic Picks

1. TCM’s The Plot Thickens Season 2 (2021)

You know those movies that make you ask, “How on Earth did this get made?” This season of The Plot Thickens, subtitled The Devil’s Candy, is an attempt to answer that question. Pretty much no one thinks 1990’s The Bonfire of the Vanities works as a film—including yours truly—and reporter Julie Salomon documented many of its production troubles leading to the final product. A must-listen for anyone who loves hearing behind-the-scenes stories or just gets a kick out of schadenfreude. 

2. Gene and Roger (2021)

Gene and Roger, the summer series on The Big Picture podcast, is an overview and reflection on the work of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, starting with the launch of their individual careers in the ‘60s through their partnership that lasted into the ‘90s. Another must-listen for movie lovers, especially those who love digging into the history and criticism.

3. Gold-Diggers Sound by Leon Bridges (2021)

Chill vibes and cool groves to transition you from Summer to Autumn.

4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

Come for the Clint Eastwood, stay for the Ennio Morricone. Actually you can stay for Eastwood, too, because his humor is at his driest, and for Eli Wallach, whose Tuco is an insanely charming cockroach. It’s almost three hours, but this treasure hunt breezes by like a tumbleweed in the wind. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

5. AFI’s Master Class - The Art of Collaboration: Steven Spielberg and John Williams (2011)

Two GOATS talking about making some of the GOATs. They share clips and explain their collaborative process (including on projects like Jaws and Schindler’s List), and they take questions from film students at AFI. I’m only wishing it were 10 hours instead of 1!

6. The Night of the Hunter (1955)

Robert Mitchum’s terrifying preacher elevates this classic into more than just a standard crime thriller. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

7. Respect (2021)

While a few scenes indulge in melodrama, Jennifer Hudson’s killer performance—both in vocals and character work—more than makes up for it. This Aretha Franklin biopic hits the familiar beats, but it makes you feel like you’re in the room listening to Franklin sing , which is really all you want from a movie like this. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8. Solar Power by Lorde (2021)

At first listen, this minimalist pop record sounds worlds away from the angst of Pure Heroine and the melodrama of Melodrama. At second listen, you realize it’s the Lorde you know and love, just with a Laurel Canyon influence. Carole King even gets a shout!

Also in August…

This month Kyla and I checked out Loveline, a call-in radio show popular during the run of Gilmore Girls.  Should our favorite Yale students give up dating OR call into the syndicated radio show Loveline? Should Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla give strangers advice OR make fun of them? Oh, and Germany OR Florida? Listen to ep. 107 of SO IT’S A SHOW?

The '40s are coming! Reviews of 1940s Best Picture winners are on their way, and I kicked it off with an overview of the Academy that decade focusing on how they responded to World War II and their new prestigious reputation.

Photo credits: The Muny, The Plot Thickens, Gene and Roger, Leon Bridges, AFI, Lorde. All others IMDb.com.

[lifesliced-a]

i’m going to be talking more about ren and hina with their individual and combined experiences since japan’s laws on prostitution give some leeway to the sex industry as a whole. obviously the below content warnings are due to them being of a sexual nature, so discretion advised. 

that being said, i’m aiming to take this from a respectful and technical approach to a character that lives a very different life than some of the other characters on this blog. also this is really, really long. i tried to do my research here as well as tie my character into all that research.

HOST STUFF / REN’S MANAGEMENT OF THE CLUB:

hina and ren have a small age difference of just a year, both having gotten into the industry at a young age ( both 18 ) .

as a host, ren is pretty strict in the day-to-day about hosting. it is exactly as it seems: he hosts and he manages the club.

it’s smoke and mirrors basically, catering to having drinks, flirting with customers, and basically entertaining them. a host can touch the patron, but usually not the other way around. ren is a little less strict to this in his own management of shining!, so long as it falls under the guise of socially appropriate ( returning a gesture from a host for instance, or a hand on the shoulder ) . 

hosts are allowed to give their numbers and often take their clients on dates, which in turn leads them back to the host club to make more money. the goal is to keep revenue coming in. shining! is aimed to the ‘classic’ experience, what many would think of in reference to ouran aesthetically speaking ( and not much else ) . as much as i keep ren at a dissonance from that show overall so as to not be confused, the idea of shining! started as a tourist attraction / pop-up. it no doubt drew that crowd in, and quite purposefully given that foreigners and locals alike were apt to visit. it was a pop-up for a few years before having permanent residence in the red-light district. it’s supposed to be a diamond in the rough; a place for affordable class.

ren was part of the original set of boys hosting for the ‘pre-shining!’ days, and is the last out of them to have not moved to another club / part of the industry. he was chosen just before he turned 19, having worked at another smaller club before he was scooped up. 

WHO RUNS SHINING! BEHIND THE SCENES?

his name is ishikawa goro ( though ren doubts this to be his real name ), and is a member of the yakuza, utilizing shining! for purposes mostly beneath ren’s nose. he started the pop up, he hired ren, and he got the business off the ground while entrusting ren to manage it. ren was known as umi then. goro was the one that suggested he go by ren, finding it fitting for him.

he has been involved in ren’s life for almost ten years based on where ren’s primary verse picks up, and has basically been a formative figure in ren’s life where one was lacking. there is no sexual element to their relationship, though ren had a slight affection for him at first that was quickly realized to be a more fondness. 

goro’s appearance changes often, mostly his hair color. he goes from natural black through shades of brown and blond often, wanting to keep himself from being noticed too often. he acts as a part of the underground.

he comes off pretty cool, collected, and in control. he has all the chips in favor, the deck is stacked, the game is rigged. he tends to give the illusion that power is shared, or that he’s out for everyone’s best interest, but he typically has his own interests at heart. he will do whatever fits agenda. if helping benefits him, he’ll help. if not, he typically won’t intervene. he finds reasons to do things that might not directly benefit him, but those are solely motivated by personal interest. he has a soft spot for children, and tends to be aggressive with offenders that are dangerous to children. this is ren’s best selling point honestly.

WHAT DID REN DO BEFORE THERE WAS A PERMANENT LOCATION / DURING OFF-SEASONS?

when the club wasn’t completely profitable as a full-time position, ren definitely learned early to work around the law. japan’s prostitution laws allow for a lot of loopholes --> read about japan’s laws on prostitution and what sex workers do / where they work to get around these laws. 

>>>> “ Prostitution in modern Japan, as defined under Japanese law, is the illegal practice of sexual intercourse with an 'unspecified' (unacquainted) person in exchange for monetary compensation,[1][2][3] which was criminalized in 1965 by the introduction of article 3 of the Anti-Prostitution Law (売春防止法, Baishun Bōshi Hō). ” <<<<

this leaves the door open to other acts that sex workers can engage in outside of ‘sexual intercourse with an unspecified person’. that basically means they can’t engage in traditional sex with strangers for money, but could have paid sex with an acquaintance. this does not mean they cannot perform oral sex and other sex acts that are non-coital are permitted to be paid for by unspecified persons. there is a term for the industry that i’ve come to understand is like an overlaying term for many different places with different business called ‘health’.

in ren’s case, he’s used this as a strong argument for having paid sex with clients as they are ‘in his realm of acquaintances’. he meets his private connections via the locations he’s worked at, primarily shining!.

ren kept a small string of locals that came to the pop-up location in his black book to keep a small revenue coming in from 19-21. shining! is a running business with four walls by the time he’s 22, to which these connections grows, and he becomes busier ‘moonlight’. however, from 18-21, he did work at a few other locations to supplement cashflow. he has also temporarily returned to some of these gigs shortly after kyosuke was born, and during his transition between apartments ( to which he is currently living at 27 ) .

ren’s options, in comparison to hina’s, are a bit more limited in being hired in what one could consider a “legal establishment”. a lot of his work is reliant on his customer base from shining! and other connections. so when he wasn’t working at shining! or meeting with regulars off the clock ( or ‘friends of’ his regulars ) , he acted as a male equivalent of what’s called ‘delivery health’ which is basically a type of call girl. ironically this is what ren transitions to full-time after leaving shining!, having built up a solid customer base as he follows his former #2 host**

** this host, sho, is a major connection in ren’s life. ren hired sho at shining! to be the genki type. despite their initial differences, rne and sho realized quickly their opposing appearances and personalities could make them more money together than apart. they’ll host together or bounce off each other ( “see how mean ren is to me!” or “see how difficult sho makes my job” to play sympathy ) , which quickly moved to them hosting after hours together. individually they do well, but together there is more profit. they also have an affair together on and off. **

SO WHERE DOES HINA FIT INTO THIS? SHE’S A HOSTESS, RIGHT?

she is! hina met ren when the club was a pop-up, coming to be hosted after constantly having to host. ren understands, as he’s done the same. their connection was pretty quick. 

before hosting, hina’s first job as a sex worker was as an onakura, and she did that for six months while trying to work a few part-time jobs. finding herself, similarly to ren, unable to rise above her circumstances, she quickly quit that to pursue more money.

for a short period she worked as a call girl, but eventually found hosting to be her saving grace while still remaining in the industry. she was given the opportunity by a friend who was a hostess at the time, and had suggested she apply. cleaning herself up, hina excelled quickly, and is quite good at her job. 

where she used to moonlight for $$$, she now gaslights ren for cash due to their connection as mother / father to their son. he always obliges. there is love in that love-hate.

ADDITIONAL DETAILS:

how it all boils down --> both hina and ren are essentially sex workers, though ren is more into the realm of prostitution than hina is. he is the primary caretaker for their son, and his mother, and thus his financial burden is far greater. 

a big reason he leaves his manager position is because a) it’s not going anywhere and b) he can’t let sho leave without him. now that he has a clientele that’s more than several individuals, he can work effectively as a “man on call” and get a larger pool from there. his services are more open, more direct, and not under the guise of ‘hosting’ anymore. they still fall into being advertised within the legal confines, but he’s still in the red light district: at the end of the day, ren is ( and has always been ) a prostitute. there’s nothing wrong with that, and in reality he really is the one that has the hardest time coming to terms with the technically terms for his career. he’s only doing what’s been the oldest profession in the book, and he’s filling a niche that’s more saturated by men wanting women and not women wanting men ( or men wanting men ) .

over time, ren has definitely acted outside of the law, but he mostly does what he can to stay within the legalities forced on him. the reason ren got into this wasn’t originally to go full-in, more needing some quick cash after he had to drop out of university and take care of his mom. from there, it sort of just spiraled, and he was in situations he was either too young or naive to understand, or was just making bad decisions. by the time he met hina and got her pregnant, there was no way ren was going to get out.

he traditionally hosts women more than men, though he sleeps with men and women rather equally with men being a slightly larger margin. there is a stigma of gay men living openly, and he provides comfort as a temporary lover. they can pretend he is their own / their boyfriend for a night.

while most of his female and male partners, for their own reasons, seek him for comfort and sex, others have been more violent. it’s no shock or secret that, especially acting independently without shining! to back him, ren has found himself in trouble, or just some extreme sexual situations.

he’s been hit and choked, which is not uncommon, to full on beaten up. he takes it as some clients just like it rough, and he’s there to provide them whatever kink they pay him to indulge. his motto is: i like what you like. a husband has walked in on him, but didn’t seem surprised. he’s been with couples, has been passed around, and basically is keen to do whatever he has to leave the situation still able to go to the work the next day as ren / come home at night as yori ( kyosuke’s father ) .

** at some point during their time together at shining! through their time post-shining! that ren pursues some cam-work with sho. he usually is masked as they do ‘live-streams’ where they perform with / on each other at the discretion of the chat. this is an on again / off again type of deal, though they typically do well, and get a good portion of views from westerners **

[my-darling-boy]

I was supposed to post this on my birthday, but kept scrapping it cos I was nervous, so now I’m trying again and I’m not deleting this one :P So here it goes...

...I am a trans man. I’ve been on testosterone for 3 years.

I started HRT when I was 17 and changed over all my legal documents shortly after when I turned 18 and up until that point, it had been a very difficult road for me, namely with mental health. But since transitioning, it’s taken the weight of a lot of issues off my shoulders which had me stuck for years in a perpetually pessimistic and aggressive mindset. And now, well, I’m 21 and can safely say that old person is long gone!

I’ve always struggled to feel confident in myself, and I still do. Being proud of my homosexuality always came easy for me. Being trans however, wasn’t always so easy. But I was never inherently ashamed of it. In fact, when I came to the conclusion I was trans at 14, I felt happy. It was other people in my life who beat that excitement to the ground. My happiness quickly plummeted into a deep, suicidal depression. I lost all my friends. I was ostracised by what few allies I had. I was bullied and roped into believing so many lies about myself, objectified, sexualised, and made to feel nothing but ashamed and burdensome.

I can remember being cornered in a bathroom to prevent me from committing suicide at 15. I remember how my parents reacted, how my friends abandoned me, the bullying, and the endless nights of self harm and negativity. I was the ONLY out trans person in a school of over 2000 students, and was the only only trans person I knew for a long time.

And I know something that happened to me when I was very new to coming out tainted a lot of the good feelings I initially had about myself. I had been telling a trusted friend of mine how I didn’t know if a person could be with me because I was trans. And instead of reassuring me, she told me, “You’re right... I don’t know how anyone is ever going to love you.” And I hadn’t ever confronted that memory until today. I finally, after so many years, allowed myself to cry about the moment that had catalysed the stripping of my self confidence. I realised one horrible little memory among many had been hurting me today much more than I ever thought it had been.

...And I still live with the painful memory, as I’m sure many of you do too, that I had to go through the most crucial years of my coming out completely alone and afraid, struggling to be proud of someone everyone told me was nothing but an unlovable burden to society. Afraid if I seemed proud for just one moment, I would be abused. But I find that the older I get, the more miraculously I feel the strength to get back up or to not be struck down in the first place when I’m confronted by hatred and ignorance.

And I feel that, for me, one of the worst things I could do is to keep this part of me perpetually hidden, because I can’t imagine how many people following me are in desperate need of guidance or at least someone to talk to, to be told that they are worthy and loved. I know I have advice that I would love to give, and words to say to people who feel they need help, because it’s in my nature to always offer assistance if it’s asked of me or if I see someone hurt. It would still mean so much to me even if this message only reached 10 people, because that’s just 10 more people who have read they don’t have to feel like they’re going through things alone. I know to some people this might sound Basic but you honestly have no idea about the people who need to read posts like this.

Of course I know there are considerable times where it is still unsafe for me to come out, be it trans or gay, and there are times when I feel it’s irrelevant for me to mention it, or times when I feel I just don’t need to. But it isn’t about coming out as much as it is about purging the old fear I have that being proud of my identity is something I shouldn’t do.

I’m always saying sorry for the simplest things, terrified of being burdensome, and being trans hasn’t ever been exempt from that list of things I’ve been made to feel fear and shame for loving. But I’m a year older now. And I feel that checkpoint should begin with learning I should never have to apologise for being who I am, to feel confident in the pride I have always had in my trans identity and learn to not let others take that away from me like they had done in the past again and again. I’ve always found myself admiring people who can be comfortable in their entirety without apology. I would love to exist without feeling like I’ve disappointed someone who likes me or wants to be friends by revealing I’m trans, and even though that has happened to me countless times, I know if those people have a problem with my gender, I wouldn’t want those people in my life anyway. My worth is not determined by how negative people treat me.

I know it’s a long and difficult road sometimes, to learn to love yourself, but you should feel proud to be trans. And there might be people who try to twist that idea and scare you into thinking no one will ever love you. You might feel not that you‘re ashamed to be trans, but that you feel afraid no one will accept you as much as you accept yourself. You worry to be proud of your identity makes you undesirable or inconvenient. And I wish I would’ve had someone tell me when I was a kid that people only tell you that to break you and silence you.

So whoever is in a low place right now and needs to hear this, as I needed to hear so many birthdays before, birthdays I never thought I’d make it to:

There is NEVER any shame in feeling proud to be who you are. There are ALWAYS people who will love you and who will listen to you when you need help, and there is NO shame in feeling you need that help. Vulnerability does not equal weakness.

I know there is a time and a place for me to reveal I’m trans irl and there are questions I still have the right not to answer, but I don’t want to spend my life persistently afraid I will never find anyone, friend or lover, who will care about me. I want to have the same love for myself I have for everyone else.

So happy birthday to me, and to the 6 year old boy photographed who didn’t understand why he couldn’t spend the night at all his boy friends’ houses. But more so, to the 14 year old boy who never thought he would make it this far. I wish he would’ve believed the people who told him the best things happen when you least expect them to. Because they do.

Not only would I like to extend my help to my trans followers who need someone to talk to emotionally, but I have been through all legal document changes (that I own as a California resident at least) and have had some unexpected things happen to me on testosterone on top of the usual changes, along with having some knowledge about top surgery and insurance, so if you aren’t cis and have a legal or appropriate medical question for me regarding transitioning, I may just be able to provide some help! While I’m not always sure how good I am at these things, my askbox or DMs are always open to anyone that needs to talk or is seeking advice :)

Thank you for listening and as always, I love you all ♡

P.S. I didn’t go through all of this to have clowns in my inbox so please be respectful

[akabluekat]

writer’s ask game, all odd numbers, please! :)

1.     Do you listen to music when you write? I have on occasion, but in general, I don’t. I’ve found that I have a hard time filtering out background noise when it’s conversations or music.

3.     Computer or pen and paper? I used to be a little bit of both, but it’s more computer these days.

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day? It varies a lot. Maybe a couple hundred words?

7.     Standalone or series? Both, I think. 9.     Current WIP Delicate and Playing With Fire. I suppose you could count Burning Bridges, though it’s not posted yet. I’ve been working on it more lately because figuring out Bea’s side of things is integral to a few plot points that are coming up.

11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most Meg Cabot, specifically Princess Diaries. Tamora Pierce (Alanna quartet).

(this next question got long, so I’m gonna throw in a page break out of consideration for your dash)

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished 1. Have an idea while I’m supposed to be doing something else. 2. Open a Word document. Depending on where I am/how much time I have, write down some brief notes on the concept, possibly a few scenes. Give the Word document a vague filename. Working naming convention is Untitled HP [number]. 4. Attempt to write the first chapter. 5. Promise self that I will not post chapter until I’ve written a few more chapters. 6. Get ideas for scenes not in that chapter. Put into a document titled Nonlinear excerpts. 7. Write more of first chapter. 8. Finish rough draft. Rough draft may be mostly complete or be a hot mess of text that includes helpful notes like ??????? to remind myself where I still need to figure out plot issues or write giant chunks of text. Select all, cut, and paste into new document. 9. Do a line by line edit, gradually moving my rough draft from Document B back to the original document. Delete or smooth out ????? sections as I go. 10. At some point, my computer will crash or I’ll forget to charge it and it’ll shut off. 11. Say a bunch of swear words. 12. Recover document/lost work. 13. Vow to stop writing like this because I should know better at this point. 14. Continue with editing. 15. Repeat steps 8-15 an undetermined number of times. May not always need to do the cut/paste method, especially as chapter gets into later drafts. 16. Get excited about fic and decide to ignore the promise I made to myself back in step 5. 17. Comb through Taylor Swift discography trying to find an appropriate title. 18. Repeat step 18, but for the chapter title. (Alternatively, come up with a chapter title right away and still not know what the damn fic is called.) 19. Spend approximately 40 earth years trying to figure out a summary. 20. Come up with a summary that is 2 characters over FF.net’s character limit. Spend another 40 earth years trying to reword it so it doesn’t. 21. At some point, create an image for the fic, probably when I’m supposed to be doing something else. 22. Post fic. 23. Obsessively refresh inbox to see if people liked it or not. 24. Start chapter 2. Wonder why I did not write it before posting chapter 1. 25. Any one of the above steps can be replaced by getting distracted by Tumblr, other fics, daydreaming, scenes in my current WIP that are not in the chapter that I’m working on, the news, or pretty much anything else.

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block? Lots of staring at my word document and sighing. Daydreaming. Working on other projects. 17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have? the copy/paste edit method described in question 13. My fanfic is always written in Times New Roman (Calibri is for work). I have no explanation for this. 19.  How do you keep yourself motivated? Strategic guilt. And honestly, the fact that people seem to care about the story is hugely motivating.

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? Fred and George, probably. The banter is so fun. 23.  Favourite author I have to pick one!?! 25.  Favourite part of writing I love telling stories and exploring different worlds/possibilities. 27.  Favourite line/scene I think it might be Bea saying “I refuse to apologize for who I am!” in response to being asked if she had bacon in her pocket.

29.  Favourite villain My fics don’t really have villains other than Voldemort. And angst, I suppose.

31.  Least favourite part of writing Transitional/connective parts always seem to trip me up.

33.  Have you ever killed a main character? Nope. 35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing? Right now, Chapter 14 of Delicate haas been giving me trouble. I know what needs to happen, but writing it has been a challenge.

37.  First sentence or your current WIP PWF: I knew I would have to dance with one of them before the thought even crossed McGonagall’s mind. Delicate: Alicia and Lee could have gotten married in London. Burning Bridges: I’m reluctant to start this account with the story of a shitty boyfriend. 39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had. A Squib who owns a pub in Diagon Alley.

41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers? You will make mistakes and that is okay. 43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline? Fred Weasley has little respect for my outlines, so this happens a lot. Sometimes, I try reworking the scene a bit; on other occasions, I’ve been like “you know what, you’re right this time. Scrap the outline, let’s explore this path instead.”

45.  How much world building do you do? I tend to fall into little world building rabbit holes as I write--it’s very unpredictable, so I don’t know if I can answer this question properly.

47.  Best way to procrastinate Writing or falling down weird internet rabbit holes.

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real? Of my characters, Bea Pierce. In the wider world of fiction, Leslie Knope and Gandalf.

[dailyaudiobible]

05/06/2021 DAB Transcript

Ruth 2:1-4:22, John 4:43-54, Psalms 105:16-36, Proverbs 14:26-27

Today is the 6th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is great to be here with you at this beautiful time of the year here in the rolling hills of Tennessee. Whether rain or shine it's just a beautiful…yeah…when the seasons transition it’s just a beautiful month. It gets hot here. That's coming. That's how summer is but it’s a beautiful time of year and I trust that it is lovely no matter where you are. And if it's not lovely, we…we have this place, this little oasis around this Global Campfire where there’s always peace. And we can always come here and exhale, right, and just breathe and let the Scriptures wash into our lives. And, so, let's move in that direction. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. We concluded the book of Judges yesterday and turned a page and entered into the book of Ruth, which is where we find ourselves situated today. And it…it's a shorter…it's a shorter book. So, we began it yesterday. We’ll conclude it today. Ruth chapters 2, 3, and 4.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we concluded the book of Ruth today. And yes, a breath of fresh air. What a beautiful ending to a story that was really a very very bitter story in the first place. It’s a story a famine in the land. And we've seen famine in the land of Canaan before, right? That's how the children of Israel, those first-generation children of Jacob ended up in Egypt because there was famine in the land. And Joseph had gone before and there was provision. So, there's famine in the land again and in this case a family, the Elimelek family, they have to go to Moab and the sons of Naomi and Elimelek, they had Moabite wives. Now, Moab basically is on the other side of the Dead Sea. Moab is sort of the territory of modern-day Jordan. In centuries past when the children of Israel were kind of wandering around the wilderness, we remember stories with Moab, like the story of Ballam, sent to curse them and he couldn't. He could only bless them, right, with king Balak. So, there's some history here. Ruth is a Moabite woman who will not leave her Hebrew mother-in-law. I mean on the one hand, it's a noble thing at all to stay with your mother-in-law but she's leaving her country. She's leaving her family. She's leaving her people. She's telling Naomi that “wherever you go, I will go. Your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die. Like your people will be my people.” So, Ruth is, in so many ways, putting her in her life in Naomi's hands because they do go back to her people and she does have to find a way to…to eat. So, she does have to go and…and basically glean from the leftovers anything that she can. And we see this provision is made in the Levitical law, this provision for the foreigners among you, right, the orphans and the widows…like a way for people to still find food. And, so, she's doing this and that's when Boaz comes onto the scene and doesn't take too long before Naomi recognizes what's going on here and what could go on here and how this could be a…this could provide for Ruth because Ruth’s gonna outlive Naomi. And, so, she needs this kind of covering and this kind of protection because she's a foreign woman. So, she mothers Ruth. Naomi mothers Ruth and mentors Ruth and shows her the way to signify to Boaz that she…that she's available. And she guides her through this process with dignity, right? She's not like, “okay Ruth, here's what you do. Boaz is a little bit older. You can seduce him. You’re a younger woman. So, when he has little to drink after the harvest or whatever then you find out where he went to sleep and then you go teach them the ways of the world girl.” That’s just…that…that's not what happened. She signified by laying at his feet. He woke up and responded with dignity and character - the entire process. We see like something finally is through and through done with character and uprightness. And, so, Ruth and Boaz are appropriately married and she has a son, which changes the whole complexion of Naomi's bitter life into joy and brings a child to an elderly father in Boaz and the reputation of Ruth only grows as a faithful, committed, dignified, valiant woman. And as the story goes, as we’re told when we get the genealogy at the very very end, we find that Ruth and Boaz are the great-grandparents of a man who would become king of Israel, David, king David, the author of so many of the Psalms whose story we have not come to yet but we’re about to before too long. And, so, let's just let this story sink into our hearts and minds as we meditate upon it for…well…for as long as we think about it. Character matters. Faithfulness to God matters. Wisdom matters. There is a way to live with honor and when we do tragedy has a way of working itself out. And although weeping may last a night the joy comes in the morning.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us to this point where we can read the story of Ruth as we continue to just experience the changing of the seasons. And we ask Holy Spirit, come plant the Scriptures into the depths of our lives so that they can speak to our very identity transforming us, showing us the path ahead. Come Holy Spirit we pray in the name of Jesus. Into all this we pray. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, that is where the Global Campfire is, and that's where it burns, and that's where we gather each and every day. And, so, it's good to be aware of and aware of the different sections.

Check out the Community section. This is where the Prayer Wall lives.

Check out the resources in the Shop. This is where there are definitely resources for the journey that we are on. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if this mission that we…that we are all a part of to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and given freely to anyone who will listen to it anywhere on this planet any time of day or night and to build community around that rhythm so that we know that we’re not alone, we’re not alone on the endeavor to move through the Bible and read every paragraph and sentence and word of it but we’re also not alone on the journey through a year of life together. And it makes all the difference as so many of us can attest to. And if that has made a difference in your life than thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app. That's the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, everyone it's Lisa the Encourager. I'm calling to let you all know that I lost my daddy this past Thursday April 29th. And I'm very blessed because I had a wonderful dad, and he was a Christian man and he raised us, all my brothers and sisters up in the Lord and taught us. He was a wonderful example for all of us and I'm so thankful for that. I know everyone doesn't have that. And he had some health concerns and he's overcome a lot over the years. He was 85 and I was blessed to be with him at the time he passed and could look right in his eyes and tell him how much I loved him. And I knew that at that moment he transitioned and was able to be in the open arms of our Savior. And that's a true blessing for me. Although it's been very difficult and I've been very sad, like I said I'm very grateful that I had that opportunity to have a wonderful father. And through this I just want to continue to pray for two of my brothers that have walked away from their beliefs. And I just would ask for your prayers for their Salvation or the reassurance or knowing and knowledge and acceptance of the Lord Jesus Christ. Their names are Daryl and Shane. And I would just pray that you would pray with me for their salvation and renewed faith through this time of our funeral services for our dad or just in life in general. If you could pray for their Salvation, I would greatly appreciate it and just that we’ll have peace as we have the funeral. My mom is transitioning with…

DABber family, this is the Burning Bush that will not be Devoured for the Glory of our God and King. I just got off the phone with family in Chad, central Africa. There is a war there. The president got killed in battle. They’re stranded in the capital city. The borders are closed and so are the airports. Can you please pray. I'm not sure I understood exactly what's going on, but I heard that Boko Haram was also in the mix with the fighting. And this is a Christian family. I pray for all the believers out there, just all the citizens, the innocent people. God, I pray for protection in Jesus’ name. And God I pray for peace in Chad. Oh my God, yeah….

Good morning DAV family this is David from Texas. Ultimately, I just wanted to call in and thank you guys because this is a community that I never had before. Before the pandemic I never had, you know, certain convictions that I…that…that were on my heart. I was raised by a pastor and a very God-fearing woman but, you know, I was just kind of walking through the steps. And…and…and by chance I found this podcast and my life has changed just by going through the Bible in these first couple months of the year…few months of the year. I really…I really pray that you guys…you know…I'm 21 years old, I'm in college, and I'm going through a phase where I'm trying to separate myself from a lot of the habits that I had before. And I pray that you guys, you know, can…can send your prayers out for me and strengthen me in this time because I do feel like I have a calling, you know, to speak to people and help people. But sometimes I struggle with, you know, being a hypocritical Christian, you know, not…not…not in that I'm telling people to do things that I'm not doing, but I don't feel like I can give people advice and speak to people when I'm…I'm still…I'm still kind of living the way that I used to and it's hard to phase out the things that I used to do. So, I thank you guys. Thank you, Brian. You know, this is this is a really great platform. And God bless you guys. Thank you.

Good morning DABbers again. This is B from Ireland. First of all, Brian, Jill, congratulations on China and Ben's baby, Reagan. Congratulations. I pray that Reagan will live in the footsteps of her ancestors, mainly you and Jill, that that baby will grow up in favor and stature before God and man, that that baby would do great exploits for God, do greater things than you and Jill and even China and Ben ever will do, that the generation of blessing that is so evident in the life of your family continues through Reagan the Great in the mighty name of Jesus. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for this platform. It's been a lifesaver. I'm six years in, I think. I started 2016. Is that six years? Yes, I think. And I can't begin to say what Daily Audio Bible has done for me, in me through the work that you're doing. May God continue to bless the work of your hands and the mighty name of Jesus. And I want to use this opportunity to give, you know, a call to all DABberds to give to the Daily Audio Bible ministry however way you can. You know, sacrificially or if it means that you, you know, share your tithes with this ministry because this ministry feeds you every day. So, this is what I do. I don't pay all my tithes to my church. Occasionally I do tithe into this ministry because in a funny way Brian also serves as my pastor. And before I sign out, I want to pray for Rachel a lady who had covid. Oliver, you called. You said your sister Rachel had covid. I pray healing into her body right now in the name of Jesus and restoration in the name of Jesus. The name of Jesus is higher than any other name and at the name of Jesus covid bows.

Hey DAB family this is Sparky from Texas. Monday May 3rd and I wanted to take a minute and pray for a couple people that last Friday was…it hit my heart. Running Bear, I'd like to pray for you and hope that…hope that your healing, your family gets the healing that it needs and sees the love and the Christianity of this community. I'd also like to pray for Norman with the diagnosis and hoping to speak to his family. Let's just go ahead and pray together. Father we come to You and we thank You for Running Bear and both Norman Lord. We ask that You touch their hearts and help them to feel Your healing touch and help them to feel the love of Jesus and the kindness and help them to guide…help guide them to let people see Your light in them Father and to trust You. Father I…I pray for Running Bears family, that he meets the Christian part of our family and the part of You that You told us to be like. Father also pray that You heal Norman in the name of Jesus. There's some powerful things You do Father, and we know that You can heal it. Help to bring his family back together Father and move mountains. You move mountains so much. Father we thank You for everything You do, for every one of us. Amen. I love you guys. Pray for every one of you every time I hear request. I love you all and be blessed.

Hi DAB family my name is Kristen and I'm calling from Oceanside CA and I am a first-time caller, and I was introduced to the DAB family, the DAB community November 2019. And this year is the first year since I was introduced that I have made it a goal to listen every single day. And that has made me so happy and so strong. I am so thankful for the DAB family and I am just overjoyed about Reagan. And I…I love hearing your prayers and I love being able to pray for you. I'm calling to ask for prayer that someone…I…I get spiritual guidance in my life. I don't have many people...I…I have one person that's close to me that believes Jesus died for our sins and that is our heavenly Lord. And it is hard because I need more, and I need to be able to have counsel with someone. I just…I need…you know…I'm praying for a woman to come into my life that I can speak to on a daily basis about the Bible, about Jesus and just…I just need help. Thank you for your prayers.

[koala-otter]

the teacher and the scientist au: worldbuilding

I am writing some original stuff right now, and as a break where I can keep writing, I’m going to explain some of my worldbuilding/choices that I make when it comes to my modern “the teacher and the scientist” AU. The hope is that it will be fun for others to see what goes into a fic, or give people ideas for their own fics!

*a quick note: I am a white Latina! I have no East Asian heritage! I studied for a while in Beijing and speak Mandarin Chinese fluently, so I kind of defer to my experiences there when making worldbuilding choices in fic (because I believe strongly in writing what you know, especially given the damage you might cause by writing what you don’t know), but will also do research online or through friends on other countries and cultures that inspired the four nations in ATLA. But all of this is just to say that while I do put a lot of thought into this stuff, I am by no means the authority on any of it, and I am open to criticism and of course always want to make sure I’m not doing anything harmful with my writing. I promise to listen and adapt if you approach me about literally anything in my fic or in this post.

Ok now let’s get into it!

1. The setting: Ba Sing Se’s Natural History Museum This is based on a combination of the Beijing Museum of Natural History, the American Natural History Museum in New York, and Beijing’s Forbidden City/Gugong. Beijing I think is probably the biggest inspiration for Ba Sing Se with the ring system and centering of the palace (and I mean the Earth King’s palace is pretty directly based off of Tiananmen Square), so it seems like a pretty solid model for a modern Ba Sing Se to me.

2. The field trip I went on so many field trips to the Natural History Museum when I was little, and they were always the absolute most fun of the year. And I feel like we went to the planetarium basically every time? It was kind of fun to recall and try to capture the experience of being a little kid on this trip in this fic

3. The Lower Ring & the Middle Ring I put Zuko and his students as coming from the Lower Ring for a few reasons. Firstly, I couldn’t imagine Katara and Aang living in either the financial district that is the Middle Ring or the ostentatiousness of the Upper Ring. I think if they were in Ba Sing Se they’d work and raise their family in the Lower Ring (I will be getting into their jobs in later installments of this story, so I won’t explain them here!), which means Bumi goes to school in the Lower Ring, which then means Zuko has to work there in order to be his teacher and for this entire concept to work out (and also the reasons explained in the actual fic where he lived there with Iroh and wants to give back). And the museum is in the Middle Ring because I wanted it connected to the university, which canonically is in Ba Sing Se’s Middle Ring.

4. Sokka as an astrophysicist Because Sokka is a smart kid and a huge science nerd, okay??? And Yue and the space sword. It makes sense. Also, because Ba Sing Se = ATLA’s Beijing, I think of Ba Sing Se University as Beida （北大）or Peking University, which is China’s first national university and one of the most, if not the most, selective university in the country (disclaimer: I did not study at Beida!!). But yeah BSSU is the Earth Kingdom’s most illustrious university and one of the best research institutions in the world, and Sokka’s a tenured professor there. My boy’s world-class brilliant.

5. “Teacher Zuko” Ughhh I really struggled with this. Basically, I was taught in learning Chinese to address teachers as “Surname 老师 (lao3shi1),” which is “Surname Teacher.” But! I didn’t want to give Zuko a surname, because that seemed rife with opportunities for missteps (there’s a lot that goes into surnames of literally any country or culture, from geography to family history and occupations, and I didn’t want to co-opt anything that wasn’t mine to use). So I knew the kids would call him by his first name. But “Zuko Teacher” sounded off. And in Chinese, titles like Mr. or Miss or Mrs. go after one’s surname, while in English it’s the opposite, so I figured for this fic it was appropriate to implement the English convention. So! “Teacher Zuko.”

6. Sokka’s appearance Sokka’s one of those hot, young professors that appear only in popular media, or once in a blue moon. He finds out from Katara that white sneakers are an easy way to look in the fashion know while remaining marginally professional for class, and they become a staple of his uniform. I picture him in Stan Smiths. (And of course they’re a little beaten up! It’s Sokka!)

7. The gaang’s ages Okay, so, I can’t find the actual post where this is broken down, but I think canonically it makes sense that Katara and Aang were 22 and 20, respectively, when Bumi was born. I put them in this fic at being maybe a year or two older in this fic, so let’s say 23 and 21, when they have Bumi, in Katara’s second year of med school. So when this fic takes place, as Bumi is six years old, they are 29 and 27, and Sokka and Zuko are then 30 and 31.

oh my god we’re only 700 words into a 4,000-word fic why did I decide to do this to myself

8. Sokka looking at his watch and having a penchant for exact minutes He’s a master scheduler. That’s it. 

9. “My Uncle Mushi lives in Chin City” This was just kind of an opportunity to integrate more from the ATLA universe! Obvi “Mushi” is Iroh’s refugee alias, but whatever another kid can have it, and yeah Chin City is that terrible village with all of those wacky people from “Avatar Day.” So we know the kid’s uncle is wacky. Fat chance of going on a field trip to visit him.

10. Zuko calling Bumi talented There’s that scene in the episode where they go to the Sun Warriors that Zuko calls Aang “a talented kid.” Bumi’s Aang’s son, so I figure by the transitive property Zuko would describe him the same way.

11. Zuko’s scar  I don’t know why but I often forget to mention Zuko’s scar in other fics! Either way, I find kids usually respond to people’s differences better than most adults do. Kids just see things and comment on them, which, yeah, can be rude by societal standards, but I’d imagine it would be very refreshing for Zuko after going much of his life with people trying to avoid either staring at the left side of his face or talking about what happened. Also, I didn’t really want to get into the cause of the scar. Obviously Ozai did it. I don’t have an idea of how. Other fics have done that better. Explaining it within the fic the way Zuko would explain it to his class seemed like a good way to tell the reader, “Hey yeah it’s the same cause as in the show,” but then not have to get into it.

12. Sokka hates intro classes Ughhh no one likes intro classes, and I’d imagine it’s even worse for professors. Prerequisites are often too easy for the kids intending on majoring or too hard and meant to weed out the kids who can’t stick with the department’s program. College is funny.

13. Aang volunteers in Zuko’s class From what I can tell, parental involvement in schools is only getting bigger. And Aang is a great dad and I think he’d take any opportunity to get involved with Bumi’s school.

14. Zuko’s backstory I should probably take the time to explain this! Basically I think of this story existing in a universe where after they moved to Ba Sing Se under circumstances comparable to their being refugees in the show, Iroh and Zuko actually stayed in the city, and Zuko got his education there. And yeah! My boy went to BSSU, too!

15. Stargazing at the South Pole and seeing the moon at the North Pole Oh my god the pure amount of thought that went into this. I worked with the assumption that A:TLA takes place on Earth, and that then the rotations of Earth, and the rotation of the moon, are the same as what we experience now (I’ve thought about this extensively, especially as it pertains to the hemispheres and the seasons, but I don’t want to talk about it here, we simply do not have either the time or space). So the South Pole is essentially the same as our Antarctica/South Pole, except that it is capable of sustaining human life for an extended amount of time, and in theory has greater biodiversity (clearly I have also thought about this extensively, but again, we have neither the time nor the space for my theories). I had to read a NASA report on the phases of the moon as seen from the South Pole! And it turns out you can’t see much of the moon down there, and it is always in crescent form. but yeah, you see a lot of stars (but in the opposite rotation of what we see in the Northern Hemisphere), and I thought that was intriguing, especially given the importance of moon imagery throughout the show. Thus, Sokka’s first seeing the moon in the Northern Water Tribe, which ties in perfectly with his meeting Yue, his first love: “You could say the moon was my first love.” (Which someone pointed out in a comment on Ao3, and it absolutely delighted me that they noticed!)

16. Pipsqueak Just looking for more people from the show to serve as first graders in this fic. Someone commented that they pictured him the same size as he was in canon, and I laughed out loud.

17. Tuyanjing I was trying to think of constellations that look like badger-moles, and I honestly just thought, “Ursa Major. Badger-moles look like giant bears.” And “Tuyanjing” (土眼睛) is my own translation of “earth eye,” which was meant to be a nod to the animals’ connection to Toph and their blindness and earthbending. 

18. All the stars & mentioning the Fire Nation & Water Tribe navigation I was initially going to write something in this scene about ancient constructions, like the pyramids, that were built using the constellations, and then create some elaborate metaphor about them and Zukka. But the only coherent thought I had about it was that it was “Too Much Work.” Instead I realized okay sailors always use the stars for navigation, and the Water Tribes and Fire Nation are the only nations we’ve seen with boats, so let’s go for that, and it works out because if you squint maybe you’ll read something about the stars guiding them to each other. Maybe we’re evoking thoughts of star-crossed lovers. And then we mention the moon again, and Zuko’s really seeing it for the first time, kind of like Sokka did, so hey I don’t know maybe that’s a symbol of something. Maybe.  

And that’s really it I think! Hopefully this was at least entertaining if not entirely informative. I don’t normally write stuff out like this, but it is a good reflection of my thought process while writing most fics. Again, I am open to any kind of communication about the above as well as anything else I’ve posted! And I’d love to hear about any of your own ideas that help you with worldbuilding and writing your own fics :)

[thedenimdentist]

Role Club Underdogs: Ordering Process, Unboxing & First Impression

Introduction

Brian Truong (@brianthebootmaker) is a boot maker based in Los Angeles, CA. He works out of a shop with his teacher, where he works resoling and building custom boots. Over the years, Brian has created a catalog of several styles of boots and shoes, most of which can be seen on his Instagram. He is most widely known for his iconic engineer boot (which I have already placed an order for).

In order for Brian to build you a pair of custom made to measure boots, he requires a set of measurements for each foot. Ideally, Brian takes these measurements of your feet himself (for those lucky enough to live nearby or are willing to travel to his shop). For everyone else, Brian allows you to submit your own foot measurements using a guide available on his website. 

Ordering Experience

Living in California, I was lucky enough to be able to stop by Brian’s shop to be personally measured. During my visit, I was wearing my Java Waxed Flesh Trumans. Just by looking at the way these boots were creased and broken in, Brian could immediately tell that these boots were too large for my feet. I explained that I have to size up in all boots in order to accommodate my full length orthotic inserts. When I told him that leaving out the orthotic was not an option, Brian said he could wrap a pair of my memory foam orthotics in vegtan leather, and use this in place of his standard leather insole. By doing so, he would be able to size my boots appropriately rather than leave room to accommodate both my foot plus the additional insert. 

(Above is the orthotic Brian wrapped in leather and used for my insole. I purchased these off Amazon and mailed them to his shop after my visit.)

After a few discussions with Brian (both in person and via Instagram afterward), we settled on the following Underdog design:

Leather: natural Essex vegtan leather

Upper stitching: white

Hardware: Brass eyelets/speed hooks (5/2/1)

Last: 100 last

Toe: unstructured

Outsole: white cork half sole and heels

Heel style: low woodsman

Edge finish: raw/natural

Custom orthotic-leather hybrid insole

(Left: A mock-up I created on Photoshop of what I was looking for, using photos off Brian’s Instagram. Right: The photo taken by Brian of my actual Underdogs. Not bad!)

For my Underdogs, I was debating between Brian’s 2307 and 100 last, but ultimately decided to get the 100 last (mostly due to my affinity for slimmer profile boots). For a more in-depth summary of all the lasts/toe shapes Role Club toe has available, I will link you to Brian’s YouTube video.

If I had to describe my interactions with Brian, I would say they were...concise. He is a man of few words, always getting straight to the point with fairly short responses. I feel like my level of excitement when I visited his shop may have been a little over the top for Brian’s more soft-spoken personality, but I still found the whole experience quite enjoyable. He’s a nice guy who is passionate about his craft, and it was cool to be able to meet and support him.

Price, Lead Time, & Shipping

The cost to reserve a pair of Role Clubs is $200, regardless of which model boot/shoe you are ordering. I made this deposit during my visit to Brian’s Los Angeles shop on 8/21/2019, reserving me a pair of boots he estimated would be completed in April 2020. After months of waiting, I received an email from Brian on 4/27/2020 stating that my boots were completed. I paid the remaining balance for the boots ($880 + $35 domestic shipping), my boots were shipped on 4/30/2020, and they arrived on 5/3/2020. In total, I waited about 8.5 months for this pair.

Unboxing

The boots arrived fairly quickly (a day earlier than expected). Upon arrival, there was nothing overly extravagant with the packaging. The Role Club box seems fairly sturdy. It’s a nice white box with vibrant blue print. A nice touch is the information on the side of the box containing my name and details of the boot.

Within the box, the boots were packaged individually within clear plastic bags. Clean, standard, basic. No frills, greeting cards, extra padding/card stock dividers, or spare laces (like some of the other MTO boots I’ve received). Nevertheless, this packaging was enough to adequately protect the boots during transit, as I could not find any scratches or damage to either boot.

Top View & Toe Shape

Surprisingly, the 100 last didn’t result in as slim of a toe box as I had expected. This may just be due to how Brian had to adjust the last based on the measurements of my wide bunions? Comparing them to some of my other boots, I would say my 100 last toe shape is similar to, but slightly less angular than the Truman P-79 last and drastically rounder than my Onderhouds.

If anyone is interested, I’ve also written reviews for both of these boots: my Java Waxed Flesh boots by Truman Boot Company and my Onderhoud Handmade derbies in Badalassi cognac. 

Design & Pattern

Front view. Pretty standard service boot.

The inside neck of the left boot (above) is embossed with Brian’s Role Club logo. These boots are unstructured, so I’m excited to see how the toe box collapses with wear. 

The outside neck of the right boot (above) shows the outline stitching for a Role Club fabric tag visible from inside the boot. Brian mentioned in one of his YouTube videos that he does this intentionally, as the white thread will pop more and more as the leather darkens.

I really like the stitch design of the heel stay and counter. I’ve always liked the look of triple stitching, and the wavy loop stitching going up the vertical strip is very tight and clean; beautiful!

Sole & Heel

It seems (based on Brian’s Instagram feed) that most of his natural Essex boots are finished using his Role Club natural cork half sole and heels. While this look is very clean, I personally found it a little too monochromatic and uniform. Thus, I decided to go for something a little more unique and chose his white cork half sole and heels. While the white is a little more flashy, I think it adds the perfect amount of contrast to break up the natural leather and raw edge finish of the midsole. It may not be for everyone, but I like it, and I figured I could alway resole the boots with a different color in the future (like brown or black) after the upper leather darkens with wear. 

As for the heel shape, I decided to go with Brian’s “low woodsman.” At the time I placed my order, I did not have any experience with anything other than low block heels. Brian’s full woodsman heel would’ve been a huge jump out of my comfort zone, and honestly felt a little daunting. The low woodsman heel seemed like a safe middle ground and a nice stepping stone toward a more substantial curved heel. (Since placing this order, I’ve had experience with several other boots with woodsman heels, and may choose to get Brian’s full woodsman on my next pair of engineers.)

Of all the woodsman heels I’ve seen online, I think Brian’s style is probably one of my favorites. The angulation and curvature of the heel are more subtle than a lot of others (like on my Onderhoud derbies), and they’re finished very tightly to the upper, leaving a very slim and minimal welt around the heel of the boot. The stacked leather and soles are all nicely polished and smooth to the touch.

Stitching & Finishing

After thorough inspection, I’ve found the stitching on both the uppers to be some of the cleanest work I’ve seen on a pair of boots. The stitch density is all uniform and tight, with all stitch lines parallel and evenly spaced. I didn’t find a single stitch out of place or loose/hanging threads. 

Here is a detailed photo of Brian’s embossed logo on the left inner ankle. The logo design is clean and simple, and it’s placement is discrete and will be hidden majority of the time beneath my pant leg. I personally really like it, and I look forward to seeing how it patinas.

If you look closely, you can see that the sewing needle may have sightly punctured the leather beyond the boundary of the tag (above the top left corner). I don’t have any issues with it, and I would hardly count this as a “stitching error.” 

Look how symmetric, parallel, and evenly spaced all the stitching is, even along the curved heel strip. Not sure how difficult this is to do, but I’m impressed.

Below I’ve provided an excessive amount of photos of the welt stitching. Overall, very clean, tight, and uniform. I’ve grown to really like when each individual welt stitch is slightly angled, which can mildly be seen on these Role Clubs. 

Here I’ve compared the single welt stitching of these Role Clubs to the Veldtschoen double welt stitching of my Onderhouds. I would say that the actual stitch length between the two is fairly similar, but the Onderhoud stitches may be pulled tighter, resulting in slightly larger stitch holes and spacing between the stitches. The angulation in the Onderhoud stitching is also slightly more pronounced, which I do like, but both of these look awesome. 

Below I’ve placed my Trumans with stitchdown construction alongside my Role Clubs and Onderhouds for reference. I’ll let the photo speak for itself. (Although, I will acknowledge that stitching over a toe cap may be difficult and could be to blame for some of the stitchdown inconsistencies, but that’s beside the point.)

Now I don’t mean to bash on Truman here, as I believe the structural integrity of all three of these boots are solid. That being said, you can definitely see a difference in the cleanliness and precision of the welt stitching of the Role Clubs and Onderhouds in comparison to the Trumans. However, the Trumans are also a fraction of the price ($480 vs. $1080), so I would expect the finishing on these Role Clubs to be a step above.

When it comes to buying premium boots, at a certain point the law of diminishing returns really comes into play. In other words, once you hit a certain price threshold, you’re going to get a quality-made, functioning, long-lasting boot (assuming you’re buying from a legitimate, well-known boot brand). As price continues to increase, you’re no longer paying for a higher-functioning boot, as much as you’re paying for the attention to detail and craftsmanship with which the boot was made. This can manifest in visible qualities (such as the cleanliness of the stitching, sole polishing, and overall finishing of a boot), as well as details below the surface (like 360-degree hand sewn welting the uppers to the insoles, or making all your thread by hand (*cough* Goto-San of White Kloud *cough*). If this attention to detail and appreciation for the craft are qualities you appreciate in your boots, then these higher-end boots may be worth their higher price point. If not, it’s all good. To each their own.

Lol sorry. End rant.

Above, you can see a couple spots where the welt stitches aren’t perfectly aligned. Extremely, extremely minor, and the closest thing I could find to an “inconsistency” in stitching on the entire boot (the upper included), which is quite impressive.

A couple little rough dents along the edge of the welt here on the outside of the left boot. Doesn’t bother me, I can’t see it when I’m wearing the boots, and will probably disappear quickly during the break-in process.

All the stitching on the soles is very clean, with the outer stitching being a little more dense than the inner row. If you look closely, both the half soles fall slightly short of the pencil guide lines. Again, this will fade away once broken in. It’s also on the bottom of the boot, essentially invisible during wear. Zero issues. 

Sizing, Fit, & Comfort

According to the box, my size is a 29 1/2 (whatever that means). All I know is, these boots were custom made by Brian based on the measurements he took of my feet, so they should fit like a glove (boot?)—and they absolutely do.

In my hand, these feel like a sturdy boot and have a good amount of weight to them. They felt comparable to my Java Waxed Flesh Trumans, which are a rugged tank of a boot. As soon as I slid them on, I could tell these boots were definitely custom made for me. Up until now, I’ve had boots that were “wide enough” for my bunions, and were a size large enough to accommodate both my feet and the full length orthotic insoles. Never have I been able to comfortably put on a properly sized pair of boots without my orthotics—until now. 

I just want to take a second to spotlight the magic that Brian worked with this insole. TMI: The main reason I need to use these memory foam insoles is because the balls of my feet are terribly bony, to the point where I can’t even stand on hard floors barefoot without wincing in pain. Thus, I can barely even stand on the hard leather insoles typically found in boots without added cushioning.

As I mentioned earlier, I mailed Brian a pair of these memory foam orthotic insoles. If you look closer at the orthotics, you’ll see that they come with a contoured top surface with a plastic skeleton supporting the arch and heel cup. Brian managed to remove the plastic cup and all of the contour, and then stitched leather over the top. This created built-in flat leather insole with the cushion in the forefoot that I need! I’m absolutely mind blown. Brian is a magician. (I apologize if I’ve dwelled too long on this topic, but this is a big deal to me...and this is my review, so sorry not sorry.) 

Compared to the rest of my boot collection, these Role Clubs probably have the chunkiest toe shape. However, once these were on-foot, they didn’t look or feel chunky at all. The tongues are thinner compared to the rest of the uppers, making them a little floppy and tend to fold when tying the boots. Luckily they’re gusseted, which helps keep them in place. Overall the upper leather is already fairly soft and supple, so I don’t foresee too terrible of a break in period. 

Conclusion

Overall, I am extremely happy with how these Role Club Underdogs turned out. Keep in mind that I was inspecting these boots with my 100mm macro lens, so all the irregularities I pointed out are actually very tiny and essentially unnoticeable in social settings. These are my first pair of natural vegtan boots, so I can’t wait to start breaking them in and seeing how this leather patinas. 

These Underdogs, as well as all other Role Club boots, may cost a little more than the average stock boots from other reputable brands. However, but I believe the customizability offered by Brian, as well as his build quality and pristine finishing, makes it worth the premium price. Would I order from Brian again in the future? Yes, and I already have. I placed a second $200 deposit last October 2019 for a pair of his classic engineers, which are due to be completed in November 2020. From what I’ve heard, Brian’s waitlist has already extended well into 2022 (at least June), so if you’re thinking about picking up a pair for yourself, I’d recommend jumping on that quick.

I still plan on writing a follow-up review on these gorgeous Underdog boots, where I will be able to expand upon the fit, break-in, and patina of this natural vegtan leather. But until then, HAGS and TTYL.

[twobigears]

I know you've mentioned it before-- but would you mind talking about why you chose to jump Chandra at 20'' versus 24''? I see several of Future Tervuren Puppy's family members at trials and they all jump 24'', and I've been pondering whether I would want to jump it at that height or at 20''.

tl;dr: obstacle spacing

So, some background for people who aren’t as familiar with agility: 

Most agility organizations have two parallel tracks to advance through the levels. One track is the “regular” one, where you jump your dog’s measured height, determined by their height at the withers. The other track gives you the option to jump them one height lower, usually a bit more course time, and some other things.

There are various reasons someone might choose to jump the lower height. For Chandra, it was obstacle spacing.

US agility courses are still slowly transitioning out from the beginning when dogs were generally slower. Between the various organizations, we see spacing between 15′-30′, skewed towards the lower end. Spacing is also affected by the way a course is physically built. Many, many times I have seen 20′ spacing on paper become 15-16′ when built.

I have done a few jumping exercises with Chandra to analyze her striding: 

At 24″, Chandra takes two strides when jumps are spaced 28′ apart.

Between 22-27′, Chandra takes one extended/”normal” stride.

Between 19-21′, she gets a small stride.

At 18′ or less, she bounces at 24″. At 20″, she can take a stride between jumps at 18′.

Cuing a dog appropriately through an agility course depends on their strides. A dog that takes 3 or 4 strides between obstacles may be cued differently and will have more time to adjust their trajectory than a dog that takes 1 or even ½ stride. (As a sidenote, this is a flaw in our US agility system, where we have chihuahuas and Great Danes competing on the exact same course. Overseas, it is more common to have separate “big dog” and “small dog” courses to set challenges more appropriately for the different heights.)

So, given that we frequently see spacing of 15-19′ on most US courses (particularly in AKC), it is physically difficult for Chandra to jump 24″ since she is required to bounce or get ½ stride between most obstacles. Over a lifetime career, this is rather damaging to the dog. By jumping Chandra down at 20″, her jumping arc is shorter and she effectively gets more space to stride between the obstacles.

Chandra’s half-brother Anubis, who is an inch taller than her, jumps 24″. His owner has expressed some concern about it, but for now he seems to be doing fine. He is a bit slower than Chandra and his natural stride is shorter. I jumped Solstice at 24″ for a few years and she did okay, but just before she died I was about to drop her to 20″ as well.

This is something I’m thinking about with Blizzard, though not too much yet since she’s only 6 months old and doesn’t even know what a jump is, lol. She’s right around 22″ right now, which is the AKC cutoff for jumping 20″ regular, and above the USDAA cutoff of 21″ to jump 22″ regular. So we’ll see where she ends out height-wise and what she can reasonably do.

In a nutshell, it’s an individual decision that depends on the dog. If I were to throw a generalization out there, a lighter-boned Terv can probably handle 24″ better than a heavier-boned GSD. But it still depends on the dog, and I’ve heard some Terv owners complaining about tight obstacle spacing as well.

[lovebugs-and-snakecharmers]

LBSC Sprint Challenge 1/27-2/3/21

The LBSC Sprint Fic Challenge is now open! This week we’re using some songs suggested by members of the discord! The prompts are:

1. Hometown - Logan Mize 2. I Went to Far - Aurora 3. Like a Movie - Cam 4. The Only One - Layla 5. I’m Okay - Sam Bettens 6. Wildcard - pick any of the prompts available from our sister blog, @mlweeklyprompts

You have until Wednesday, February 3 to complete your 3 15-minute sprints and post the results. Once you’ve completed the sprints, you have 24 hours to edit (which can include some new writing to smooth transitions and make it feel complete).

Please note you may sprint in the language of your choice, and you can either translate the final fic before posting, post it in the original language, or both as you choose. You can join us on the sprint challenge discord or sprint on your own! Just be sure to tag @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers in your final post so we will see it and reblog it. The rest of the rules can be found here under the cut.

Artists are now invited to participate!

Rules!

We’ll post a beginning and end date to the challenge, and a prompt. If you choose to participate in the event, write for that prompt in up to three 15 minute sprints. No writing outside the sprints until you have completed all three! After the 3 sprints are complete, you have 24 hours to edit (which can include some new writing to smooth transitions, etc). You can also choose to break that 45 minutes up differently if you find a different split works better for you.  After those 24 hours, post what you’ve got. Tag your posts with @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers so we can reblog it to the LBSC blog. If you post your work on AO3 or somewhere other than Tumblr, you can leave a link in our ask box or in the appropriate discord channel so we can be sure to promote it. You’ll have approximately one week to complete the challenge, with the goal being for everyone’s work to be posted by the designated challenge end date.

Artists, you have 45 minutes to sketch and 24 hours to do any cleanup or coloring you’d like to complete. You can split your 45 minutes up however you like, or not at all. There’s no requirements on your finished piece, just aim for whatever goal seems challenging but achievable to you. See additional challenge rules below. You’re also welcome to join the discord (see above), and we’d love to have some feedback on how the challenge works for you! If you’re wavering as to whether or not you think you can accomplish anything in 45 minutes, we really encourage you to give the challenge a try. You may be surprised what you can do! Feel free to join us in the discord linked above so we can encourage and cheer you on.

Obviously, this has to run a bit on the honor system and we won’t be tracking your times, but please do your best to honor the spirit of the challenge! If your sprint fic becomes an Entire Thing (these things happen sometimes) and you want to continue it, feel free! However, please still post whatever you’ve got after your 3 sprints with the tag. No fair busting out a fully polished fic or art without showing us what it looked like at the challenge stage!

Feel free to sprint in whatever language is most comfortable to you! You can post it in your own language or translate it before posting, or both!

We want to keep this a positive space and event! This does NOT mean that you can’t write or draw anything critical of a character or episode, but it isn’t the space for character bashing or hate either. Please keep the characters in character and save the more speculative work for another time. NSFW sprint fics are permitted but must be tagged appropriately (please use “NSFW LBSC sprint fic challenge” for easy filtering on the blog) and with appropriate warnings.  (More FAQ about the process here)

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 21 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

"Again, Lenny?" old Mad Magpie cackles when Len limps up to her at her usual post near the CCPD. Most members of the cardboard brigade wouldn't care to be so close to so many cops, or wouldn't dare, but Magpie is an old homeless veteran who lived in Gotham before coming to haunt the streets of Central, and she doesn't fear much of anything. Len's been sending Danvers over with hot chocolate on a regular basis, though, so Magpie's usually willing to talk to him. "Don't you have any self-preservation?"

"Don't mention it," Len says. "Really. Don't."

"You can fool that secretary of yours -"

"Admin assistant," Len interjects.

"- and you can fool that new boytoy of yours, but you can't fool old Magpie," she says. "You've ripped those stitches again."

"Like I said," Len says, suppressing the wince of pain at the mere mention. He's pretty sure he's bleeding - getting thrown around by a murderous speedster was definitely not on his physical therapist's list of approved activities - but he's wearing enough layers and stayed in lurching forward movement enough that no one has had a chance to notice it yet. "Don't mention it."

She laughs. "I knew it," she says. "Can't fool an old bird of prey like me! I don't tell people things till they ask. But if anyone asks, I ain't promising nothing. Now, I see you're back to your wicked old ways, hanging around with that Allen boy - back together now, are we?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, good on you. He's cute. And I bet he goes pretty fast, if you know what I mean."

Len arches his eyebrows. He knows exactly what she means, and she's not advising him on how long it'll take to get Barry into bed. "You selling that info?"

"Hell no," Magpie cackles. "Like I said - he's cute!"

"Good. Lemme know if anyone does start selling that, will you?"

"You'll get first word, Lenny. You've been a good enough customer to us all these years, paying more than your fair share and never turning us in for vagrancy; we can do you that much."

"Much obliged," Len says. "Hey, if I manage to surprise even you, do I get a bonus going forward?"

She arches her eyebrows at him. "I'm listening," she allows.

"Mick's better."

"I already heard that he's awake," she sniffs.

"Not awake. Better. See?"

She squints around him in the direction he's gesturing at. Len can see the exact moment she spots Mick standing there, looking healthy as a horse (well, with some nasty burn scars, but those look years old already) and arguing cheerfully with Iris and Danvers about something or another.

"Well, I'll be," she marvels. "Yeah, Lenny, you get a bonus for that - assuming that being healthy means he's gonna be cooking up his usual free-for-all July 4th bash this year. News of that getting uncanceled'll buy quite a lot."

"It's definitely on," he assures her. "Assuming we haven't all been murdered by the Families, of course."

"True that," she sniggers. "Now, what're you going to do to stop them?"

"As much as I can," Len says honestly. "But for that I need help - you remember when I was looking for intel on speedster stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to find a speedster. The bad one, in yellow; he was at STAR Labs, but we don't know where he is now -" Danvers checked STAR Labs and reported no success. "- and we need to put him down if we're gonna put any of this down."

"He's the one doing the disappearances?"

"He's the one doing the hits," Len agrees, since technically Barry caused some of the disappearances. Though he supposes that if you think about it a certain way, Wells was behind those, too, in an indirect sort of way... "Can you yank your chain and get me an answer?"

"Don't need to ring up the community, Lenny," she says, grinning. "You know they used to call me the Oracle, back in Gotham? Always knew what was going on, I did, and it's the same now: I already know where he is."

"And I'm guessing I won't like the answer?"

"Come now, you robbed him of his revenge or whatever; where else is he gonna go other than Central’s home away from home for the criminally inclined?" she asks, amused. "The place where everyone knows your name - and record."

Len experiences a distinct sinking feeling in his stomach. "Ah," he says. "Iron Heights."

Central City's one and only maximum security prison.

Len's been in a few times, to ensure his cover was appropriately legit. He doesn't remember it very fondly.

"He's getting jealous, he is," Magpie says complacently. "You've got an army, the Families've got an army, who doesn't got an army? He doesn't. But he can fix that."

No kidding.

Especially since - and Len is remembering this with a wince - the metas from Barry's secret prison have just been transferred there pending trial, along with the specifications of the Accelerator needed to maintain the anti-meta-powers effect of their cells.

They'd even recruited Ramon to advise on the process of transferring the tech, with the recommendation that his cooperation in converting one of the wings (now dubbed the Metahuman Wing) would go some significant distance to reducing his eventual sentence.

Len hadn't been involved with that personally, being busy with Mick's recovery at the time, but he'd set one of the DAs he'd always liked - an ardent prisoners' rights advocate in her previous life - on the task of making sure Ramon gave adequate thought to how what they already had in place in STAR Labs could be expanded such that the metas could enjoy their constitutional rights, however limited.

Len’s not entirely clear on the details, but whatever it was, it was only a temporary solution. Ramon is reportedly working furiously on developing some sort of meta-dampening cuffs that seem significantly more humane.

All well and good in theory, yes, but it's now occurring to Len that what he saw as a grotesque human rights' violation, and the so-called Team Flash saw as a temporary convenience, Wells saw as more of -

Well, as a useful storage container.

As in, where you store things for later use.

(The image of tiny metahumans being placed into a pantry and pulled out at need by a giant Wells is deeply disturbing. Len sure is glad that no one's invented some sort of shrink ray...)

"Thanks, Magpie," Len says, shaking his head to help him get rid of the unwanted mental images. "Appreciated as always."

"I'll let my people in Iron Heights know to expect you," Magpie offers. "There's always a few old cardboards in there for some reason or another. If you need something pulled, you just ask. You've got that bonus to spend now."

"Hopefully not necessary," Len assures her. "But thanks."

The resources of Len's task force, as they stand, are quite few in number, but fairly decent nonetheless: Len himself (mostly useful for tactics given the current state of his body), Mick (and his heat gun), Barry (and his powers), Danvers (and her powers), Detective Thawne (who Wells won’t kill), Iris, Snow and Ramon.

Of the latter four, Thawne and Iris are trained in conventional weapons, and Ramon has invented some sort of vibration-based gun he claims can stun people in a humane matter (he emphasized that three times over - whatever that DA told him has clearly stuck). Snow doesn't have any offensive capabilities, but she's a doctor with some emergency care training, and Len's not about to turn that down.

Especially given the fact that if his side doesn't stop bleeding soon, he's going to need some of that training to be employed on him.

"You good?" Barry asks when Len rejoins them.

"Peachy," Len tells him, and ignores the way Mick suddenly focuses in on him. Stupid tell, using a word he only uses when things are not, in fact, good; he should've remembered not to use it around Mick. "We have a location for Wells: he was last seen in the vicinity of Iron Heights."

"Wait," Ramon says. "Where we just put all our metas?"

"He was keeping them on purpose," Snow exclaims, realizing. She's not slow, that one; just a bit naïve. "They were always going to be Plan B - except now they're in Iron Heights, not STAR Labs, so he needs to go get them."

"And the rest of Iron Heights if he can," Len confirms, shifting a little bit to a more comfortable position on his crutches. "Barry, Danvers - can you take us all to the little hill right outside the Heights? One-by-one should be fine."

"Boss and I go first," Mick suddenly says. "Then the rest. Let's go."

Before Len can say anything, they're in sudden transit.

It takes about twenty seconds to reach their destination, which Len suspects is a polite attempt to go nice and slow by the speedsters but which only makes his side and leg throb.

Then he and Mick are alone, standing in the overarching shadow cast by the hulking hexagonal pit of despair that is Iron Heights.

Everything seems quiet from here, but that could be an illusion.

"Mick -" Len starts.

"You're injured but don't want to sit out the fight," Mick says. "I know."

Mick always does. Best partner ever.

"S'not why I wanted to talk to you, since I know I won't be able to change your stubborn-ass mind on it," Mick continues. "I wanted to check in on what I said earlier."

"What part?"

"About us still being partners. I mean, now that you're a cop and all that."

"Mick, as long as you still want to be partners, we're partners," Len says firmly. "I wasn't kidding about not picking the job over you again. If you don't wanna be partners with a pig, I get it. It's fine. I'll just quit my job."

Mick snorts. "Twenty years undercover and you'll just quit? Now?"

"Hey, it means I've got a decent resume, don't it?"

"Ex-thief, ex-cop, please hire me -"

"I'm sure that set of skills appeals to someone -"

Mick's laughing.

Len likes it when Mick laughs. He's missed it.

"Nah," Mick says. "Don't quit, not unless you want to. Hunting down bad cops is perfect for you. And I'll figure out some way that I can still be your partner."

Len grins at him. "Sounds like a plan, partner."

"Just do me a favor and don't die, boss."

"Says the guy who just woke up from a coma?"

"Hey, I got magic-future-tech-healed by the bad guy, I'm fine. You, on the other hand, are doing your healing the good old fashioned way, except you keep tearing your stitches."

"Shut up before anyone else gets here and hears you."

"I heard him," Danvers says, floating a few inches above them and still holding a dangling Ramon in one hand. "And I'm very disappointed in you."

"Crap," Len says. "Listen, Snow can give me a patch job, but there's no way I'm letting you guys go into Iron Heights without me, got it?"

Snow gets dropped off next. By Barry. Without another word.

"You're in trouble now," Mick crows. "Skirt's got moxie."

"Traitor," Len says, but it turns out Snow can in fact patch him up pretty quickly - a staple gun, some bandages, and a dermaplastic seal, plus instructions to keep from twisting too much if possible so that his back brace can try to keep his spine from popping out of place or something - so it turns out all right in the end.

While they're doing that, though, the rest of the team stares at Iron Heights.

"God, I hate this place," Mick says.

"It's - quieter than I thought it'd be," Danvers says.

"Have you never been?" Barry asks. "I - well, you know, with my dad - I've been plenty of times."

"Hate to break it to you, but you're the odd one there, Barry," Ramon says. "I'd never been here before I came to help install the meta dampening tech."

"Really? You invented…?"

"No, no," Ramon says, looking embarrassed. "I haven’t had time to come up with something new. What we did was basically just port over a mini-Accelerator, looping around the walls of the place – luckily the hexagonal hallways around the outside that the guards use for patrols is close enough to being round to work. It works on the same set of principles as the Particle Accelerator in STAR Labs does."

"Any chance that it'll block Wells' powers, too?" Iris asks.

"No, not unless he goes into one of the cells and closes the door. The entire system's not even noticeable until everyone's locked away - not enough energy. We're just running electrical energy through it, not accelerated particles, so it doesn't quite have the same effect."

"Probably for the best," Thawne says. "One Particle Accelerator explosion is more than enough."

"Yeah, that's true..."

“Does Wells know about what you’ve done?” Danvers asks curiously. “With the mini-Accelerator, I mean?”

Ramon frowns, considering it. “No, I don’t think so,” he says slowly. “This was after the whole chest-in-hand – er, that is, hand-in-chest –”

“Her eyes are up here, buddy,” Iris jokes.

Ramon flushes. “It was just a slip of the tongue!”

“I bet you want to slip someone some tongue –”

“Iris, leave him alone,” Barry says, hiding a smile. “Be nice. You’re making poor Kara blush.”

“He’s not my type,” Danvers says primly. “Sorry, Cisco.”

“I’m not actually interested,” he says crossly. “I like my women a bit more – dangerous.”

“You know Kara can lift cars, right? And fly? And probably crush your head like a nut? How is she not dangerous?”

“An aura of danger, you know what I mean…wait, how’d we get on this subject?”

“I don’t know, but I want off,” Thawne says dryly. “You were saying about whether Wells knows about the mini-Accelerator?”

“Yeah, right. No, I don’t think so. When the police showed up to STAR Labs, he wasn’t there, and they had me shut off the surveillance system before we started moving tech around. I certainly didn’t tell him, and I don’t think Caitlin did –”

“Wasn’t even aware of it,” Snow says, still focusing on Len.

“Right. So, yeah, no. I don’t think so."

"Okay, you're as good as I can get you," Snow tells Len. "Now up you go; we need you to tell us what the plan is."

"There is no 'plan'," Len says, getting back up. The painkillers Snow had brought with her are amazing. "We've gone well into the stage of the plan where everything goes off the rails."

"Len," Barry says, mildly censorious.

"What?" Len asks. "It's true. You want a plan? Okay. Plan is: we go inside, find Wells, subdue Wells. If necessary, fight other people in the process."

"I think I was happier without knowing that that was the plan," Ramon mutters.

"Second door forward?" Mick asks, focusing on practicalities. "That's the least guarded - though I gotta admit I never thought I'd be using that to break in."

"Yeah," Len says wryly. "We live in interesting times."

Getting into Iron Height isn't hard - they know where the door is, they know how it's opened, and Len can pop it in under thirty seconds (how's that for "out of practice", Danvers?) - but the lack of any security on the inside is a very bad sign.

"Dead?" Thawne asks, his face set. He's taking this ancestor stuff very seriously.

"Maybe, maybe not," Ramon says. "He's got superspeed and this is a prison, right? He might've just put the guards in the cells."

"Probably the only way they're going to survive a massive prison riot," Mick says. "Speaking of, I hear noise - main hall's this way."

"Is that the riot?" Iris asks. "Not to borrow Kara's words from earlier, but that's a lot quieter than I expected."

"It is," Len says, equally puzzled. "Let's go find out why."

Sure enough, the main hall was full to bursting with prisoners - far more than get let out in any one shift - but they're not really rioting. More like milling around confusedly.

Len and Mick share a perturbed look.

Still, there's only one way to find out what's up, so Len hobbles over to the first prisoner he even vaguely recognizes and smacks him on the leg with his crutch to get his attention. "What's going on?" he demands.

"Snart?" the guy - a con called Joey Monteleone, but mostly nicknamed Tarpit for reasons Len has never wanted to learn - asks, blinking at him. "Ain't you a cop now?"

"One with no sense of self-preservation," Mick growls. He might be right; Len'd totally forgotten that he can't just ask people (well, criminals) things anymore. "That a problem?"

Tarpit considers for a second. "It true you got a job fucking up corrupt cops for a living? Instead of snagging cons?"

"Yeah, it's true," Len says cautiously. That doesn't sound like the prelude to a call for lynching. "Not really interested in a job snagging cons, not unless they're doing something real bad where I can see 'em. Same rules as before, really."

"Cool," Tarpit says, then suddenly turns around and shouts, "Hey, everyone! Snart's here! He'll know what's up!"

And suddenly everyone is turning to look at him, the room breaking out into whispers.

Len sees Barry and Danvers both tense up, ready to run him away, but he waves at them to hold off. No one seems violent - yet.

In fact, most of the whispers that Len can hear don't concern the fact that he is (and was) a cop; they're more focused on his career as a very good freelance thief.

A very good thief that was pretty well known for not being affiliated with the Families.

"Listen, Snart, it true what they're saying about the Families taking over?" one of the cons asks.

"I mean," Len says, nearly falling over with surprise when Tarpit pushes him up onto one of the tables so as to better see and be seen, "I don't plan on letting 'em, but they’re certainly trying their best."

"And there's riots in the streets?" another one asks. "Anti-Family riots?"

"Well, yeah -"

"And they're calling in their cards? All of 'em?"

"Whatever they can, sure. But there's an amnesty -"

"An amnesty?"

"Only for anyone manipulated by the Families in the lead-up to this," Len warns. "Or, I guess, involved in the riots afterwards."

He's a little bewildered by the fact that everyone keeps looking to him for answers in this impromptu little Q+A.

Luckily, in his time of need, Mick is there for him.

"Hey, assholes!" he bellows. "You know what that means? That means no extra sentences for anyone fighting against the Families, and the Families too busy to call in any cards they have on you. So tell me - who wants to go fuck up some Families?"

The roar of enthusiasm is very near enough to flatten Len backwards.

Ah, Central City.

Where even the criminal underworld hates organized crime.

Len's never felt more at home.

It helps that the whispers (not really whispers, now) are about Len's recognized skill at prison escapes that don't end badly.

There are also, here and there, some comments about not wanting to work for that, quote, "yellow Family fucker".

Right.

"Can someone point me to where the asshole in yellow is?" Len calls. "And in the meantime, let's get you guys outta here - we've popped one door, but let's try to avoid a riot - nice and orderly exit, that's the trick of it - and while we're at it, does anyone know where the guards have gone..?"

The guards, it turns out, are in fact locked into the same cells the prisoners have been liberated from, in what Len assumes was meant as a cruel bit of irony but which probably ensured that they weren't murdered by vengeful criminals.

The rest of the exodus is pretty swiftly organized - Len makes them pair up in the buddy system, using their cellies as buddies, in order to make it a bit less chaotic, and it works like a charm - and before anyone really understands what's happening, he's being helped off the table and whisked off back to his task force to focus on their Wells problem as the criminals file out of the prison.

"We've been discussing the issue," Iris tells Len when he rejoins them. "The prisoners don't know where Wells is, but we're pretty sure we do."

"Oh? Where? The meta wing?"

"No," Ramon says. "We figure he won't want to risk being stuck in any of those cells, just in case; he probably got the metas out of there and took them with him."

"Took them with him - where?"

"Wing C," Barry says, voice unusually grim. "The low-security wing."

Len frowns.

"That's where Barry's dad is," Iris says, equally grim.

Ah.

Old Doc Allen. The good man, who was framed and sentenced to prison for a crime he did not commit - by Wells.

Who is obsessed with Barry.

Not good.

"Right," Len says. "So this is probably a trap, but we're going to have no choice but to spring it. All agreed?"

"With any luck, Wells won't be expecting all of us, and not this fast," Thawne says. "He's a planner, but we've thrown his plans off the rails; he's playing it all by ear now."

"Just means he's desperate," Mick says. "Desperate men are dangerous."

"Still, I don't see that we have a choice," Len says. "Let's go - er, in the interests of speed, Danvers, could you..?"

He ends up getting a piggyback ride from her while Mick carries his crutches.

It's humiliating.

"I could probably carry you bridal style," Barry offers oh-so-innocently. "If you wanted."

"Just because Mick has my weapons -"

"Crutches aren't weapons," Ramon objects.

"You'd be surprised," Danvers and Iris chorus.

"- doesn't mean I'm taking any lip from you," Len finishes, ignoring them. "So shut it."

Barry proceeds to mime zipping his mouth shut, though that doesn't get rid of the grin.

Getting close to their destination does that.

"His cell is this way," Barry says, looking down a deserted corridor. "Supposedly. But -"

"He's definitely not there," Danvers says. "Sorry, Barry. The only people here are in the main hall."

"How do you know that?" Ramon asks.

"Uh," Danvers says. "Would you believe me if I said X-ray vision?"

"What," Len, who knows what Danvers sounds like when she's being evasive, says. "Really?"

"As it happens..."

"We talking medical level x-rays," Mick asks interestedly, "or can you peep under peoples' clothing -?"

"No!"

"Quick denial," Mick says wisely. "You know what that means, right, boss?"

"Boss! Make him stop!"

"It means 'leave off teasing until we’re not in the middle of a firefight', Mick," Len says mildly. "We're checking the main hall next. Everyone got weapons out?"

"Except you," Snow says. "You're not fighting - no, not even on the crutches!"

"I'll keep that in mind in the event I have a choice," Len says dryly, getting off of Danvers' back and leaning back on his crutches. "But I'll try to stick to the back. We ready?"

"Ready," they chorus.

And then they walk into a trap.

Wells is lounging on an impromptu throne constructed shoddily out of prison tables, smirking at them, and all around him are the metas Len vaguely recognizes as being part of Barry's kidnapping.

They probably all bear a grudge.

A very reasonable grudge, but perhaps a less-than-timely one.

All but one of the current inhabitants of the main hall are metas. Only one exception: a cage, constructed out of twisted cell bars, placed immediately to Wells' left, and in that cage sits a terrified but defiant-looking Doc Allen.

Definitely a trap.

"Welcome, my friends, to my little hell on earth," Wells says. His smirk fades. "Kill them! Kill them all!"

The metas charge forward.

As the guy bringing up the rear, Len can see the battlefield unfolding almost immediately.

Barry disappears, replaced by a streak of yellow lightning, and a second later Wells, too, disappears, and the yellow and red lightning bolts zip around the room in perfect tandem.

Mardon - Len recognizes him - summons balls of ice into his hands, grinning meanly and throwing them at Thawne. Not a surprise, really; Thawne's Joe West's partner, and Mardon would know that. Unlike Iris, Thawne's a policeman; Mardon would consider him fair game. Thawne ducks away, shouting something about them not meaning any harm and coming in peace, but Len doesn't lay high odds on that approach actually working.

One of the metas turns into poison gas - Len remembers hearing about him - and flows forward, gaseous tentacles reaching out to strangle them all, but Danvers takes a deep breath and literally blows him back away from the others, flying forward to confront him one-on-one. It's still a little discordant, seeing his secretary (admin assistant) floating a few inches off the ground, still wearing her red skirt and mesh leggings and that ridiculous puppy-getting-ice-cream sweater she likes so much, her hands balled into fists and a fierce expression on her face, but Len can't help but grin in pride.

A second later, Mick steps up to join her, shouting, "I got this guy, go help the others!" and aiming a burst of his heat gun at Nimbus.

"But -"

"My gun only kills, Skirt, and the boss wouldn't want me to murder prisoners. But this guy's got a death sentence, so he's fair game for me."

Danvers nods her understanding and backs off, turning back to the fight just in time to snag Ramon out of the way of the guy shooting lasers out of his eyes.

Len wonders what name Ramon gave him.

"Deathbolt coming in hot!" Ramon shouts, solving that mystery. "Caitlin, watch out -!"

Snow, who was 'Deathbolt's next target, disappears.

Literally disappears - Baez, the only female-presenting meta (Len hadn't noticed the gender disparity before, he wonders why that is), appears next to Snow in a burst of smoke, grabs her around the waist, and they both disappear and reappear elsewhere, out of the line of fire.

"You saved me!" Snow exclaims.

"You gave me all your old medical textbooks and talked to me while I was stuck in the Accelerator," Baez says. "I'm still pissed at you, but you don't deserve to be - wait, Deathbolt? Why does he get 'Deathbolt' and I get 'Peek-a-Boo'?! What the hell, Ramon?!"

"He has laser eyes!" Ramon shouts back from where Danvers has dropped him off and where he's aiming his vibration gun at Deathbolt. He shoots off a burst, which Deathbolt ducks. "What was I supposed to call him?!"

"I don't care what you call him," Baez says indignantly. "I care what you call me! Peek-a-boo is a kid's game! Or a stripper name! I want a badass name!"

"Is now really the time -" Snow starts.

They seem to have Baez well in hand, and Ramon is now exchanging vibration blasts with Mr. Laser Bolts in a game of stalemate.

Iris -

Iris is fine. She has her hands on her hips and she's scolding a guy three heads taller than her, with steel skin, and much to Len's surprise it's working surprisingly well.

It helps that she clearly tasered him first - he still looks groggy.

Danvers, meanwhile, has flown over to confront the last meta, a relatively non-descript man in black with sunglasses; Len's not sure what his powers are, but he has no doubt Danvers can handle him.

That's all the metas handled.

Barry -

Barry's still not winning. He's keeping pace, barely, and he's keeping Wells' attention on him, but that's it.

Wells is still faster. Wells is still stronger.

Wells is still going to win, and then he's going to murder everyone else in the room at a speed that ensures no one but Barry and maybe Danvers even knows it's happening.

They won't be able to stop him.

This isn't a television show, where Barry could use the power of romantic love (Len), familial love (Iris, Doc Allen), or even platonic love (everyone else) to inspire him to greater speeds to squeak out a win.

Even Danvers' help can only do so much - she's admitted that she's out of practice, and now that Wells is anticipating her, he'll have thought of something.

They have to find another way to stop him.

They need something creative.

They need something out of the box.

They need -

What the hell is Charlie doing here?

He's peeking in through the door, barely visible, but to someone who knows him as well as Len does, he’s unmistakable.

Len hobbles himself over as quick as possible. "What the fuck, Charlie?" he hisses. "Get outta here! Get - why are you even in here?"

"Attempted assault," Charlie says, unperturbed. "Someone I invited home overreacted."

"You tried to eat them, didn't you."

"They didn't say no until we got there," Charlie replies, as if that makes any sense at all. "Anyway, I've got a message for you, from the cardboard brigade. Magpie said it's your bonus."

Len's eyebrows go up. "I'm listening."

"Magpie says to tell you that while most of what the Accelerator did was give people powers, but that there's a few people - joined the brigade recently - that seem to react badly. Like something's been taken away."

"Well, yeah," Len says. "That makes sense, I guess; you win some, you lose some -"

"She also said to tell you that Hartley Rathaway did or reviewed almost all of the construction on STAR Labs' version," Charlie continues. "Along with Francisco Ramon. All the hardware and tech, they knew it all in and out, just the two of them."

Len's about to ask why he cares when it suddenly hits him.

You win some, you lose some.

There's a mini-Accelerator built into Iron Heights. They already know that it dampens meta powers. If they get both Rathaway and Ramon on it, could they jury-rig it to try to undo the grant of powers it gave before?

Len has no idea if that's even remotely possible, but what the hell, it's worth a shot.

"Thanks, Charlie," he says. "Now go away, get somewhere safe."

Charlie disappears down the hallway.

Len turns back, but before he can do or say anything, a giant dining table comes crashing into the wall only a few feet away from him.

Danvers is standing there, her eyes bright red, her expression furious and deadly and aimed at -

Well, mostly aimed at the guy currently cowering at Len's feet.

Non-descript meta man of the unknown powers, now no longer wearing sunglasses indoors like an idiot.

"What did you do?" Len asks the guy.

"My powers," the guy squeaks. "I cause people to become enraged, which distracts them."

"You...you realize there's nothing else here for her to get distracted by, right? And that the major target of her rage would be you?"

"I realize that now!"

"Well, stop it! I need her for something."

"I can't stop it! She'll kill me!"

"At this rate, she's gonna kill you anyway," Len says dryly. "Here, listen, how about this: you undo it and I'll arrest you. Nice, safe police custody pending trial -"

"Deal! Deal!" the guy yelps as Danvers tears another table - longer than she is tall - off the ground, where it had previously been screwed down hard enough to resist the strongest felons' joint attempts to lift it up.

A few seconds later, Danvers is bright red with embarrassment, but not with metahuman-inspired rage. An improvement.

"Can you take him and that Deathbolt guy back to STAR Labs for the time being?" Len asks her. "And then bring me Hartley Rathaway. The cardboard brigade will know where he is."

"Sure," Danvers says, then flies up behind Deathbolt to pop him one on the head - rough, but effective - and disappears a second later.

"I had him on the ropes," Ramon, who most definitely did not, protests.

"Whatever," Len says, gesturing for him to come closer. "Listen, question: can we use the Accelerator here to create another dark matter pulse? Preferably reversed or something, to try to drain people's powers?"

"It doesn't work that way," Ramon objects. "This isn't Back to the Future, you can't just reverse the polarities and -"

He pauses.

"What?" Len asks.

"I mean, you can't do that," Ramon says slowly. "But you can cause another pulse, if you had enough energy. As much as I hate admitting it, Wells built the original Accelerator with the intention of it blowing up with dark matter the second it had enough power, and we didn't have any choice but to use that same design here."

"Wouldn't that just give them more powers?"

"It might," Ramon says. "But the original explosion put Barry into a coma for months, remember? That dark matter's a real shock to the system. Even if it would be giving him more powers rather than cancelling them out - which it might, who knows, dark matter's weird - it still might disable Wells for the time being. That's what you're thinking, right?"

"It is, yeah."

"Good idea, in theory, but two problems. A, I don't know everything about the system -"

"Danvers is going to get Hartley Rathaway," Len tells him, and has the amused pleasure of seeing Ramon pull a face.

"Yeah, that'll work," Ramon says through gritted teeth. "That guy was a total jerk, but he did know his stuff. Stupid, pretentious -"

"You can sue someone for torture and kidnapping, you know."

"- extremely intelligent person whom I'm going to be very nice to and work well with?" Ramon tries.

"That's better," Len says, suppressing a laugh. Now's not the time. "You said two problems - what's the second one?"

"We don't have enough energy to cause a pulse," Ramon says. "It's like I said earlier, we're only running electricity through the system, not -"

"Extremely fast-moving particles?" Len asks archly. "Like, say, those?"

He jabs a finger at the streaks of lightning still bouncing around the room.

One of which is his boyfriend.

"Oh," Ramon says. "Uh, yeah. That'd work. I - wait, wasn't that Wells' plan all along, though? For Barry to run through the Accelerator and power it for him to time travel with?"

"I have no idea," Len says, because the technical aspects of Wells' time travel plan mystify him. "But even if so, he was planning on STAR Labs, not the mini version you installed at Iron Heights - which, according to you, he doesn't even know about."

"Okay, that makes sense," Ramon says. "But - if they're both running through the system to power it, then there won't be any way to stop both of them from getting hit by whatever new pulse we create. Whatever happens to Wells will happen to Barry: they might both lose their powers, or get hurt."

"Yeah," Len says, all humor fading. "I know."

He swallows.

He doesn't want to say it, but he knows it's true.

"That's a risk Barry's just going to have to take," he says. "You know he'd agree, if we asked him. If it meant saving the city -"

"And stopping Wells," Ramon says. "Yeah. You're right."

He squares his shoulders.

"I'll do it."

[zombie-renji]

When I was 17

I came out to my family as transgender and bi, I didn't quite get the support that I thought that I'd be getting from my family, but I got something better, I got acceptance from my parents. My siblings were a bit iffy, because I didn't show the classic signs, or they didn't pick them unlike my aunt. My two oldest sisters were crying openly from joy as I came out.

When I was 18

My mother sat me down to talk more in depth about the whole deal, in a way, to both clear things to her and to myself, my older sister and younger brother eaves dropped the whole conversation, because they wanted to learn more, but were too proud to ask.

When I was 19

My father told me that he'd come in terms with the idea, and showed me the research he had been constructing of the whole thing, he also mentioned that one of the legendary heroes, Joan D'Arc was thought to be a trans man.

When I was 20

My brother and I had a lengthy conversation about everything, we just sat down and took time to truly talk. He told me that he believed that my mind was man's but he reminded me that the "solution" currently available may not be the best, he reminded me that on the level of the chromosomes, I'd still have two Xs and while there might be a chance for the third hidden chromosome, it wouldn't change.

He reminded me of the dangers of the transitioning, pleading me to find another way to be happy without risking my health. In his words "What you have, is the maximum level of dysphoria regarding your own body. If you go to a hormone replacement therapy, there's a high chance that the hormones added will only increase your feeling of discomfort. And taken in your medical history... You are at the high risk. So before the decision, learn to love yourself a little more".

It wasn't oppression, it was him trying to figure out a way to help me, he was trying to protect me from what he saw as harmful. He was trying to make sure that I gave a good thought to the decision and understand the dangers of the choice. He wanted to make sure that I'd be okay mentally first.

He showed me how much he'd truly spend time with everything, despite the fact that he hadn't shown any signs of support nor acceptance before, but that's the kind of person he has always been, trying to get to the root of everything first and then make his own opinion.

When I was 21

I came out to my grandmother. She looked at me for the longest time before she smiled, she had guessed that it was something like that, what I'd been painfully hiding from her, fearing that she wouldn't be able to understand.

My father also said that his mother would've been so damn proud to call me her grandson should she have been able to hear my confession to my mother's mom before passing at the humble age of 80.

I am turning 22

I think that I'm starting to get ready to face the consequences, I think that I have grown enough as a person and achieved mental stability to face a psychiatrist and ask for their opinion and thoughts.

Will I do the transition?

Honestly speaking, I am not sure, I was born with a broken set of genes that might make it impossible, and I accept it. What matters really is the fact that I know that I am valid transman with or without the process. It doesn't really matter if someone tells me that I can't be transgendered or not if I don't go through the process, but I must ask them "Are you inside my head? Do you really know what I am in there? Can you see my gender through my clothes?" the answer is no. Gender refers to the mind, what I identify as, it doesn't have anything to do with sex, sex is just what my physical form is.

Also if one were to say that I can't identify as a man because I wear make up, I can always point out the fact that in movies, all of the men wear make up. And transmen often wear makeup in order to enhance their masculine traits like their jawline and cheek bones. But I also have to point out that I am a cosplayer, and knowing how to use make up to bring the character alive is essential in it.

What is the point of this post?

No matter in which situation you are as a transgendered person, you are valid. Your decision to go through the transition or not go does not make you more or less trans. If you identify as the opposite gender than you were assigned at birth, you are valid.

Always.

But also, don't think that everything negative said about transitioning (or anything in general) is oppression, the person could just be worried over your safety, and life as they are aware of the possible side effects and that the current method isn't perfect.

Welcome to my Ted talk, I hope that someone who is reading this is feeling a better and hopeful even slightly

Stay healthy guys, gals and non binaries

Edit: Hey so uhh apparently the term "transgendered" is offensive term and I had no idea of that? I won't change it though since I know that the version that's now going around is the one that has the error and editing the post won't won't change it on every reblog.

But hear me out why I used it.

It's because of the flow of the sentence. Try using the one that's apparently "the only appropriate term" aka transgender and see how much it changes the sentence. It doesn't flow anymore. Which isn't how this language works.

But also, this term was taught to me by my lovely English teacher from Elementary school, whom followed the Oxford way of writing and using the language, and she was old. Very old. Hence I myself use certain old ways of writing the language like redd (former, past tense of the verb read), lit (past tense of light up something, but also something that means bad). She used that word because that's what we were called BEFORE it was turned into an offensive word, and I assure you that she is very acceptive and kind woman, very encouraging too. So before you decide to attack me over the usage of this term, please remind yourself that I didn't know it was offensive and I am using it as a positive term which I was taught and I used it as a conjunction since that sentence needed it to flow better (though APPARENTLY someone decided that the term shouldn't be able to be conjugated in any way, thanks for that). So in this case, it's a conjugation, not an offensive word. Rarely used, yes, but not offensive.

I apologise for not being up to date with the slurs and offensive words of English speaking countries.