#which feels completely wild because their was a point in my life where i thought i wouldn't ever see it due to some mental health stuff

[mygoodfriendjohnathanharker]

Fixed the door that Johnathan had slipped through, not letting that happen again!

[azullumi]

JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL ?!

premise — to put it simply, hsr men driving. characters — boothill, sunday, aventurine, veritas ratio, jing yuan, and blade content tags — small mentions of reader, probably fluff, not proofread, i don't know how to tag this please | wc: 0.6k ; headcanons

note from me — this idea was brought to me after nearly crashing and getting multiple heart attacks while my dad was driving

BOOTHILL, races with the wind that it feels like you left your soul somewhere in the road—literally a wild spirit who seems to enjoy the feeling of the breeze on his skin. He probably got you lost one time too, or maybe twice, or thrice. He just loves fast cars and faster chases, likes the thrill of it (much to your dismay if you’re a cautious person). He’s probably cussed someone out for cutting him off his lane which led to him nearly crashing when he pressed the brakes suddenly. Despite his reckless driving habits, his quick thinking and reflexes keeps him out of harm.

SUNDAY, perfect law-abiding citizen—follows the traffic rules, doesn’t go past the speed limit, never crashes, never gets pulled over, you’re in the safest hands and you can trust the entirety of your life on him. You have a good road trip, a great driver, and someone who you can easily talk to. It’s perfect. He probably has a playlist ready with the most of it being his sister’s songs, playing and listening to it as he drives, often humming along with the melody.

AVENTURINE, drives like there’s no tomorrow when he’s alone but drives like the most responsible and careful driver whenever there’s someone with him in the car. He likes driving during the night despite the risk of it (and that’s honestly the point); he does love the quiet streets and the solitude he gets, taking long drives to often clear his mind or just drive somewhere where he wants to be, often taking the scenic route. There are times that he drives in complete silence, deep in thought, and taking random turns.

VERITAS RATIO, just your normal and average sane driver. Literally it’s all just normal with him that it feels so wrong. He’s quite the careful driver but is easily annoyed when someone cuts off his lane and you’ll have to deal with a rambling doctor that calls people who have no driving etiquettes foolish and reckless. He strictly follows the rules of the road, but doesn’t hesitate in voicing out his frustrations at those who don’t. Other than that, everything is fine. He rarely listens to music, however, opting to listen to educational podcasts or the radio instead—he says it helps in keeping him focused.

JING YUAN, bold of you to even assume he’s driving; he doesn’t drive, or he rarely does. He’s a passenger princess, a shotgun queen, the backseat sleeper,—preferring to sleep on his seat than focus his eyes on the road. If he ever drives, however, it’s slow and careful. He’ll reason that there’s nothing to rush for and that you all have the time in the world, and you don’t know if you’re supposed to accept his reasoning, especially when you’re going to be late. The chance of him falling asleep while driving is higher than the chance of arriving at your destination early (a 10-minute drive easily becomes a 30-minute one and no, it’s not because of the traffic).

BLADE, believe it or not but he’s, if not the most, but one of the trusted drivers. While he does go past the speed limit sometimes and maybe he does have to swerve the car that you’ll fly off your seat (if not without your seatbelt) ever so often, you never die while he’s the one on the driver seat—thankfully. Surprisingly, he does wear his seatbelt and even urges you to wear yours (even if he didn’t, you’ll have to because you have nothing else to hold on to). The most silent car ride to ever exist though as he’ll only speak when you’ll ask him something, otherwise you’re left on your own with a conversation in the wind. Nevertheless, you’ll arrive at your destination in one piece. Not until the mara strikes.

FELIIII, a lovely mention to the beautiful and lovely @dr-felitas !! i'm getting back to writing now since i'm back from vacation (which means i can do anything and everything i want, but not including ghosting 🔥) ANYWAYS i would like to say thank you for always being patient with me and my replies ,, like my bad g 🙏 i really appreciate your presence in my life and your constant understanding, and i know i already told you this but you're a very warm and comforting person and i only hope for the best things to come in your life (i know love and beauty exists because you exist and you're full of it). i will support you in each and every one of your decisions, despite how bad or stupid it can be. don't let anything hold you back boo, never listen to your haters or your opps 🗣, you're still young and you have all the time in the world to experience meaningful moments (even heartbreaking ones). so go talk to that girl bae <33 no matter what happens, i'll always be here for you. ily lots mwaaaa

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[moondirti]

all the ways i can have you

pairing: Din Djarin x f!Reader rating: explicit (18+ mdni) word count: 1.3k summary: he's hooked on making you feel good. warnings: naked female clothed male, edging, overstimulation, fingering, pussy slapping, squirting, unprotected p-in-v, blowjobs, hickeys, biting, cunnilingus, rimming, face sitting, this is so filthy don't look at me. notes: here's a little thirst i wrote in my down time. It's not affiliated with The Remedy in any way; i just really needed to get all my thoughts about our favourite beskar man out tbh because the slow burn with those two is killing me

The Mandalorian is absolutely filthy.

It’s not something you expect. He’s awkward at the best of times – pointedly avoiding any possibility of social interaction by the drawing of his blaster or an elongated silence. Honestly, for the first few months that you’d known him, you actually thought he hated you. Sure, you were never the unfortunate soul skewered onto his spear, nor had he ever threatened to throw you into his carbonite freezer, but he always had a handy excuse at the ready when you tried to make conversation. It was torture until you learnt not to take it personally; you figured he was probably used to being alone, and that’s no fault of yours. His lack of social skills could not be your burden to bear. So, eventually, when he gave nothing but a grunt to your occasional bizarre musing, you’d simply shrug it off and go back to playing with the kid. 

In hindsight, maybe you should have picked at the source of his reticence. It certainly wouldn’t have taken you as long to get to this point if you had. Because now, it occurs to you that he’d probably been so tense from withholding the desires that the two of you, in fact, shared.

It seems so obvious once the dam had lifted, but keen deduction has never been your strong suit. 

Back to the point, though. Mando is beyond borderline obscene once you manage to tease it out of him. Truly, he’d have never instigated things had you not been so uninhibited. But when his resolve shatters, it’s like his mind goes into overdrive of all the things he’d do to you. You actually think that, if given the opportunity, he’d lay you out for days on end to enact every fantasy he has. Because life has its way of intruding, though, he settles for the in-betweens of your day to day, taking you in the small gaps where it can just be the two of you.

You think he’s wild when he edges you the first time, his gloved hand palming your front while you stand in nothing but your towel. This is on you, he said, you little tease. It’s deliciously painful; his fingers find your clit with practised ease and he presses down on it, rubbing you in small, tight circles. With the way his hardened body presses into you from behind, clad fully in his armour – a stark contrast to your exposed frame – and his rough praise meets your ear, you almost cum from the miniature ministration alone. But he recognises what your quickening pants mean; he sees how your back arches into him like you’re trying to match the overwhelming pleasure his hands administer, and he pulls away at the last second, fingers returning only to give a sharp smack to your cunt. And of course it echoes – you’re soaked, for Maker’s sake – which only serves to make him repeat the action again and again until you’ve significantly darkened in shade. 

By the time you’re on the brink of collapse, Mando has you sitting between his legs, back to his chest, one leg hooked over a strong arm while you sob your pleas into the empty space of the hull. He fingers you fast and rough, delighting in your high-pitched wails and whiney begs, and forces your first orgasm out of you with an expert quirk of his fingers. It’s torturous relief, like white hot embers dancing upon frozen skin, and your vision blurs as you gush over his vambrace. But he doesn’t let up; he continues drawing them from your sopping core, turning in a complete 180 to overstimulate you until you literally have nothing else to give. 

He manages to serve you in a way no one ever has before – you're a complete, quivering mess by the end – so, you assume that’s the extent of it. But time with Mando proved that was the least he can come up with.

He revels in spreading your legs whenever he gets the chance, taking his time to pull your glistening lips apart and absorb the sight of your clenching hole. He says it amazes him – how such a tight thing is able to stretch over his length – then promptly digs his cock from within the confines of his pants. You find yourself agreeing with the wonder of how it fits; it’s by far the biggest you’ve taken – thick with throbbing veins that weave up to an angry, leaking tip – but his thumbs always dance in reassuring circles along your inner thighs when he presses it against you. And when he pushes in, you forget all about your worries, because the stretch is divine. Mando absolutely fills you up to the brink, the ridges of him catching along your inner walls, and he pounds into you with reckless abandon, like a man starved. It’s simultaneously too much and not enough as he reaches those hidden parts of you – that spongy tissue at the front, the wall of your cervix – and the sensation becomes absolutely addictive. You go cock-dumb without fail, drooling, eyes rolling to the back of your head, and you think he might disappear someplace else as well, with the way his words pour unfiltered. Good girl. Beautiful. So fucking tight. Cum for me, I want to feel you. He turns reverent when he gets you this way, awkward fronts be damned. 

Funnily enough, he’s too impatient for you to go down on him. In the rare moments he forfeits, he has to hold himself back from pulling you up so he can just fuck you already. It’s not that you aren’t good at it, either – no, your tongue is enough to drive the strongest of men wild – but he just… doesn’t put as much priority in his pleasure as yours. It’s something different with you entirely. He doesn’t see sex as a means to relieve his mounting tensions, it’s not the same exchange he’s found in all those brothels. With you, Mando is overcome with the unshakeable urge to wring out every pleasure imaginable. He’s obsessed with the plump of your lips and the folds of your flesh. He dreams of every single part of you everywhere – under his hands, between his legs, in his mouth. 

So, he takes off his helmet to put his lips on yours. And you, who’s naive enough to again suppose that the last, world-ending orgasm was the scope of what he could do, experience it as he transforms into something else entirely. 

His kisses leave no area untouched. They find your neck, tightening as he sucks purple hickeys onto your skin, then pepper down to your chest, where he pecks your pebbled nipples and bites the swollen tissue underneath. Mando leaves a trail of spit and welts in his venture, and you moan under the calamity, combing through his soft curls with shaky fingers. And when he finds you soaked through your panties, your nails dig into his scalp, your tummy flushing with slight embarrassment. The pain sparks something in him, it seems, because he pushes your thighs up with a renewed vigour so he can press his nose onto your clothed cunt. My favourite, he groans between long inhales, before he rips off the cotton barrier that separates his tongue from your clit.

Mando eats you out like he’d rather be doing nothing else. He doesn’t. It’s his favourite pastime, solely for the way you mewl and squirm underneath him. He licks, sucks, drinks from you, uncovering every patch of skin with his warm tongue, which flicks over your bud until you cry and drives into you to collect the subsequent nectar. He spreads you on the floor like a meal, dominating in every way. He kneels before you on a chair, open as you rub his stubble into you. He even insists that you sit on his face: ‘I need to taste you more than I do air.’ You have no reason to doubt it, though. He fucks into his fist when you grind down on his chin, his free hand directing you forward until he can lap at your asshole as well. Mando wants you surging, spilling onto him; crying out his name, his real name, which he whispers to you as you come down from his onslaught.

Din, he beams. To you, mesh’la, it’s Din.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: Was feeling a little psycho at work so I started this on Friday and brought it home to finish. Also, this might be my life now. I haven’t written anything but that blip whenever about Takemichi HC’s. It could also not be permanent? I’ve got about a month left of training before they release me into the wilds of working at D.H.H.S. So maybe after I’m out there, I’ll chill a bit and write more. But until then, I sincerely apologize for how long the shit I’ve written lately is. 

C/W ::: Baji x (.Calmly.)Obsessed F.reader (sorta? She has admired him from afar for way too long. You know that feeling you get when you like someone and you've kept it to yourself the WHOLE time and you feel like you're going to go absolutely fucking nutzo if you don't tell someone? Yes. It's exactly like that. Enjoy bby burbs!

WC ::: 3,303 (10 pages - give or take an inch? - on G-Docs)

MDNI under the cut. Please and thank you.

You watched his hands move across his thighs and the jealousy that bubbled up in your gut because they weren't your hands caught you completely off guard.

You were obsessed with Baji.

Obsessed.

Like, to the point where your friends had started to notice and you could barely hold a conversation with anyone when he was around. You'd taken to hiding in the shadows and watching him from afar. But not in a creepy way. You just really, really liked him. And you had never found a good way to approach him and let him know. So you watch. You watched from a spot where you thought no one could see you seeing him.

And if you're being honest with yourself, it drove you wild how his lips got to sit there, like smug little assholes, right next to each other. Against each other. All. Of. The. Time.

The unfairness of this was unbelievable.

He doesn't know the luck he has, getting to be in his own skin. That he gets to be with himself 24/7, 365. Day and night. Dressed and undressed. Wet or dry.

It's absolute bullshit.

And you're starting to think it's time you do something about it.

But what? You've never said a word to him. What would you even say?

The question haunts you as you watch him talk with his friends. His eyes light up and his smile is so fucking cute. And the way his hair falls in his face sometimes? God, it's so perfect.

"Hey, you okay?" your friend asks, leaning over and snapping her fingers in your face. "You look a little..."

"I'm fine," you say sharply, trying to shake off the haze of Baji's face that had hypnotized you.

What was it about him that had you so transfixed?

WHY was he the bulls eye on which you honed in?

You've had crushes before, but none have ever been like this. You can't stop thinking about him. Can't stop imagining what it would be like to touch him, to kiss him, to make him yours. To let yourself be his.

"I gotta go," you told your friend. "I'll ... later. I'll talk to you later." They looked up at you as you walked away from the table you were sitting at and knew you were up to no good by the expression on your face.

They mumbled something as you left. Something like "Don't do anything stupid" or "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." But you really didn't care.

You were on a mission now.

You were going to tell Keisuke Baji how you feel.

Right now.

You found him sitting alone on a bench outside the school, scribbling something down in a notebook. He seemed to be in his own world.

Perfect.

You walked over and stood beside him, trying not to stare too hard. Trying not to make it so obvious that you were practically drooling over him.

"Hey," you said, feeling your heart race like it's never raced before. "Can I talk to you about something?"

He looked up at you and smiled, gesturing for you to sit next to him.

You took a deep breath and just said it.

"Hi, Baji. So - oh, th-thanks for letting me sit here with you. Um, I don't know how to really get into this. So I'm just going to dive head first and hope I don't hit the bottom. Ok. Here ... here - here I go."

You took a deep breath and shook your hands at your sides. It was not discreet. But Baji was looking you in the eye and you were hoping he didn't notice your outwardly expressed nerves.

"Ok. Pfffooo. I ... I like you. I've liked you for ages now. And ... and I don't know what else to do because I go crazy every time I see you and I can't be with you. I want to be with you, Baji. You're so beautiful and I just want to lay next to you for hours and talk about the most mundane shit you could ever imagine. I mean, it doesn't all have to be mundane. We can talk about exciting things, too. I just ... ugh, fuck. I don't know. I just need to be with you. Does that make sense? Fuck. I'm sorry to dump this on you all at once. But I seriously can't take another second of carrying this around on my own."

He laughed.

HE LAUGHED.

"What the fuck is so funny?" You yelled.

Baji reached up and pulled his ear buds from his ears. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear a word you said. Mind repeatin' that for me?"

You felt your entire body deflate. Your hopes and dreams and fantasies and everything that you had been building up to just crumbled to the ground and splattered all over the sidewalk right in front of you.

You shook your head and stood up. "Ffffffucking kidding me RIGHT NOW?!" you screamed, pointing your finger in his face. "You're really going to make me do this again? You fucking asshole!"

Baji looked genuinely confused and a little frightened. He's used to men - large men - being pissed at him. Used to them throwing punches and calling him names. But you, a sweet-looking, chubby (and dare he say, pretty sexy) girl getting in his face like this was something he'd not experienced too often.

He was kind of enjoying it.

"Fuck, Baji!" you said, trying to hold back tears. "Why did you have to go and do that?" You stormed off and left him sitting there. Completely and utterly stupefied.

"The fuck did ... what the fuck just happened?" He stood and looked around to see if anyone else had caught the scene that just unfolded. He didn't see anyone that could help him out here.

Baji began to walk after you into the forest across the street from the school. "Hey! W-wait up! What the fuck was that all about!? Goddamn it, y/n. Stop!" He called out to you.

You stopped. "You ... you know my name?" You were already on the verge of crying again. That was the last thing you needed. Well, short of him telling you to fuck off and never speak to him again.

"Huh? Of course I know your fucking name. Jesus. It's not that big a school."

You turned around and faced him, eyes still wet with tears. "Really? That's the only way you know my name? Nice. Because you've never talked to me before today. And now you're standing here, calling me by my name."

Baji rubbed his face a few times, groaning into his hands. "That ... oh my god. That's not the only way I know you name. And that literally means nothing."

"It means you know who I am. It means you've thought about me. It means you've noticed me, Baji."

He rolled his eyes and tried not to smile. "Don't go making it into something it's not. I've noticed you. But that's all. I just ... you seem interesting. That's it. Nothing more."

"Really?"

He shrugged. "Yep."

"Well, I'm sorry for dumping all that on you just now," you said, wiping your tears away. "Even though you didn't hear a fucking word I said to you."

"Don't go assumin' shit. Heard plenty. An' what I didn' hear, I read your lips when you were screamin' at me. You're kinda crazy, you know that?" He chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me, asshole." You said.

"I'll laugh at whatever the fuck I want to laugh at, you shit." He smirked at you.

And god. Your pussy clenched when he spoke to you like that. How could one man have the key to your whole world. How could he have the power to make you melt with just a few words and a look?

"So, you wanna hang out or somethin'?" He asked. "Seems like you've got a lot of thoughts and shit to talk about. What're ya doin' righ' now?"

You bit your lip, trying to hide your smile. "N- I'm not doing anything right now. You want to ... hang out?"

"Sure, I mean. If you're cool with it. We can grab a bite. I like biting - bites - fuck! Food. I mean food."

You blushed. "I like bites, too."

"Oh yeh? What's your favorite, um, where's your favorite place to get ... a bite?" He asked, his voice getting low and heavy with darkness. He took a couple of steps toward you and tucked his hair behind his ears.

The smile gracing your pretty face had fallen into some abyss of horny. The depths of which you'd never known. And you wanted to delve deeper. You wanted to delve deeper with him.

"Baji, I-"

"I know what kin'uh bites you're talkin' about, y/n. It's written all over your face." He took another couple of steps toward you, almost closing the gap that remained there between your body and his.

You couldn't believe this was happening. Baji. The guy you had been obsessing about crushing on for months was standing in front of you, saying all the right things, giving you all the right looks.

"I think we should do something about it," he continued, his eyes scanning your face with a determination no one had ever looked at you with before. "'M fucking hungry as fuck, right now. What 'bout you?"

You gulped, trying to steady yourself. You weren't sure what to say. Your head was spinning, your heart was racing, and your cunt was throbbing. But you managed to nod and say, "Yeah. H-hungry. T-too."

He took your hand and led you out of the forest, away from the school and toward his bike. "Let's go somewhere ... somewhere we can be alone." He said, looking back at you with his patent-pending 'Baji grin.'

You nodded again, unable to form any more words because it's hard to talk when you're heart is about to beat out of your throat.

He handed you his helmet and helped you climb onto the back of his bike. "Hold on tight. 'M in a hurry, so, not gonna go slow. Got it?"

You wrapped your arms around his perfectly tapered waist and dug your fingertips into his hard abs. "Got it." You said.

He sped off into the street, weaving in and out of traffic like a pro. You closed your eyes and just held on, feeling the wind whipping against your skin. Feeling his back against your chest. It was like a dream. The kind where you're flying. It was exhilarating. It was the perfect piece to finish out what had been an incredibly frustrating day.

And soon enough, you found yourself in a secluded spot overlooking the city. It was beautiful and serene, and you had never felt more alive (or at peace).

Baji leaned back on the grass and patted the spot next to him. "C'mere."

You laid down next to him and stared up at the sky. "So, what are we doing out here?" You laughed, "I thought we were going to get a bite"

He shook his head, "Well, you're gonna get a bite. Several probably. But you just let me worry about that, doll." He reached out for your hand and laced his fingers with yours. "You know, I've noticed you for a long time too. An' I thought you were the prettiest girl. But I never found a good way to talk to you, ya know?"

You sighed, "I understand. It's hard to just ... walk up to someone and say, 'Hey, I like you.'"

"You did, though."

Rolling your eyes, you corrected him, "No, I screamed it at you, more or less."

He smiled, "Yeah. fair 'nuff. I ain't worried 'bout it though. Least ya told me what you're thinking." He paused and glanced over at you, "You wanna know what I'm thinking?"

You nodded.

"Well, I think you're sexy as hell. An' I wanna kiss the fuck out of you."

"You've got some nerve."

He looked confused, "Wha- some nerve? How the fuck so?"

You leaned in close to his face and said, "Taking this long to do anything about it."

His brow unfurrowed. That signature smile he has returned. And all bets were off.

Baji grabbed you up into his arms and pulled you onto his lap. His lips met yours and you felt like you were in heaven. He tasted sweet and a little smoky and it was driving you wild.

His cologne was filling your senses. You felt heady. You felt so high and it was not any time soon that you wanted to come down from this with him.

"God, I've wanted to do this for so fucking long," he groaned as he nibbled on your bottom lip.

"You?! You've wanted this for so long? Have you not seen me -" you started.

And he finished your sentence, "in the dark recesses of the school? F'k yeh I've seen you. It's fucking hot that you're following me 'round. Spyin' on me 'n shit. I started leavin' my curtains open for you. I kinda hoped you'd come 'round my apartment building s'I could give ya a show. But ya never did."

Your face turned a bright shade of red, "I wasn't ... spying on you. I was just ... admiring you from afar. Closely ... from a-afar. Shut up."

He chuckled, "Same fuckin' thing. An' I'm glad you did. Cuz now, we're here. 'N I get to do this," he pulled you closer to his chest and kissed you again. His tongue moved across your lips and you opened up for him. You felt his hands move up your back and tangle themselves in your hair, pulling it back. Exposing your neck to him.

Baji bit down on your neck and you gasped, "Fuck, Baji! That's - feels - hoh fuck!"

He licked and sucked on your neck, doing little to ease the sting of the imprint of his perfect teeth. But you loved how it felt. He continued kissing you, leaving a trail of wetness from your collarbone to your earlobe. You moaned loudly and he smiled against your skin. "That's it. Wanna hear you make those pretty sounds f'me."

His hands wandered down to the zipper of your jeans and pushed them down over your ass, exposing your panties. "Let's see what you got goin' on down there, y/n."

"Mm, well, Baj' ..." You lifted your hips up and let him pull your pants off, along with your shoes and socks.

"Don't tell me you're embarrassed," he said, smirking up at you. "Don't you know how fucking hot you are?"

You shook your head, "Nope - not really, no." You shrugged.

"Well, lemme show you, then," he said, moving his hand up your thigh and sliding it under your panties. He rubbed his fingers against your slit and you bucked your hips forward. "That's it, baby. Like that? Course you like that. Fuck, you're so wet already."

Baji pulled your panties down and put them in his coat pocket. "For later, when 'm all alone in my room."

You moaned again and he spread your legs wide, "Can't wait to taste you, y/n. Been dreaming about it for so fucking long."

"YOU'VE been dreaming about this for so long? Have you fucking met me?" You were only half kidding. Because you'd been on one about Baji for nearly the whole school year, accounting for the last 8 months of your life. Your time. In school and especially out. This was a fucking dream come true for you.

"Yeah, yeah. Now shut up and let me eat you out. Please?" He looked up at you with puppy dog eyes and you nodded.

"Please."

He grinned and lowered his head between your legs, his tongue darting out to lick your clit. You moaned loudly and gripped his long, dark hair, pulling it hard. "Oh fuck! Baji!"

He lapped at your cunt like his life depended on it, laving and licking and sucking your pussy.

Your hips took on a mind of their own, moving in a way that you've never experienced. You're not sure if it was Baji or if it was you determining your physical articulations.

You're no virgin. But the people you've been with have never made you feel the way Baji is making you feel.

And he's barely touched you.

Yet.

"I'm ... oh god ... I'm gonna cum, Baji. Don't stop! Please ... don't fucking stop!"

He sucked on your clit and you felt yourself let go. You came all over his face, drenching him in your juices. And he didn't seem to mind one bit.

"Fuck, y/n ... hot as hell."

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him up to you, kissing him deeply. As he lowered his body down against yours, you could feel his cock. Hard and bated in his clothing.

You thanked every God you could think of in that moment that he wasn't wearing jeans today. This was so much better.

You reached down and untied his pants, pulling his cock out of his boxers. He groaned and you looked up at him, "I need you inside me. Please. Baji. Fuck me."

He nodded, "Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna fuck you so good, y/n. So hard you won't be able to take a single step tomorrow without cursing my name under your breath and your pussy clenching up around nothing when you think about how fuckin' good this dick felt."

And he did. He fucked you in the grass, under the stars, where anyone could see you.

Baji was unpredictable in his movements but potent in his execution. He kept you poised for almost anything. If you'd been standing, you'd have been on your toes the whole time. Literally and metaphorically.

He felt so good, dragging his cock in and out of your dripping hole. You were moaning so loudly that it egged him on. Driving that intense desire deep within him to show itself in the cool night air.

"I feel you. Gettin' tighter f'me. Fuckin' feel so good, doll. Fuck. Keep that up 'n I migh' jus' cum with ya. You wan' me t'fill ya up? Mm? Where you want this at?"

You moaned, right on the edge of wringing his cock dry, "'N'side, 'n'side, Baji. Want you t'cum inside of me. Please! Fuck, I'm gonna cum!"

He thrust into you, irregularly. Frenzied, almost.

You felt his cock throbbing as he buried himself inside of you. He grunted loudly and held you tight, his body shaking. "Fuckin' take it, y/n. Fuck! Take it all, baby."

Your pussy contracted around him, squeezing him, greedily drawing from him every drop of cum he had to offer.

And you were happy to take it.

"Jesus ... Baji. I ... fuck. I've ... fuck." You giggled and kissed him back as he brought your face to his.

"Mm, don't go gettin' all gushy on me." He pulled out and tucked himself back into his pants and you put your clothes back on and stood up, looking at him with a smile.

"Gush is my specialty, though." He laughed and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Fine, fine. So what now?"

You tilted your head, "What d'ya mean what now?"

He buried his nose in your neck and said "You know what now."

"Baji, I don't want to leave you."

He nodded, "I know. I don't wanna leave you either. But what NOW?"

You pushed away from him a little bit, "If you say that to me one more time I'm going to shove you off of this cliff!" Laughing, he kissed your forehead.

"Let's go back to town. We'll grab a bite - with our clothes on - 'n I'll take you home - back to my place, I mean."

Leaning into the kiss, you nodded and walked back to his bike.

Hand in hand. 

@kazutora-kurokawa @viburnt @katkusuo @darkstarlight82 @arlerts-angel @southside-otaku @trevengersprincess

[johnslittlespoon]

leaving bikeriders anon here again i’m going crazy over the back and forth constant neither of them saying anything out of nervousness of it all like of COURSE it would take them forever to actually get together there would have to be an honest to god crisis a completely off-kilter situation for them to get together they’re so bad at communicating. also have not been able to get the thought of them running into each other by chance at a bar across town and even though bucky showed up with people he just ends up at a table in the corner with gale the whole night. gale jokingly asks if john is even old enough to drink which turns into a whole thing where john suddenly has to prove to gale that he CAN drink and he IS old enough and is Definitely Worthy of gale’s attention. anyways!

HIII i'm still ON one about this too dw

exactly my goddd the back and forth would be physically painful to write/read honestly lol the flirtation and the sexual tension!!

ur so right smth absolutely wild would have to happen, or one of them would have to slip up, or there'd have to be an argument where feelings are blurted out in anger/hurt, orrrr, in relation to your idea at the end which i'm going clinically insane over bee tee dubs:

john is so offended by the insinuation that he's too young to drink even if gale's joking, made worse probably by gale throwing in a kid– "you old enough to be in here, kid?" with the corner of his mouth quirking up a bit.

john puffs his chest out and tries not to let the one beer he's had slur his words, goes "'course i am" all huffy, rolls his eyes, reaches for gale's full shot glass while holding determined eye contact and tips it back without a second thought, really has to clench his fist in his lap for a second when it threatens to come right back up, not used to anything quite so harsh.

it's not gale's intention to egg him on like that, john's just bristly, a messy college kid used to bulldozing his way through life, never turning down a bet or challenge, has maybe been watching a pretty girl hang off gale's other side on top of everything and wants to prove that he can be exciting and mature too.

john ends up drinking too much, taking whatever shots the others in gale's group pass him for their entertainment until gale shuts the next person who tries down with a pointed glare, slides the shot glass away before john can reach for it, says "alright, we're cutting you off" when john whines out a complaint, leaning heavily against gale's side.

the night ends with gale helping john out of the bar because john's friends leave long before he does. he gets john out to the parking lot out front, gets him situated on the back of his motorcycle, keeps a hand on his shoulder and asks where home is, and john's like, "oh, no, can't go home like this buck, dad'll gimme a shiner" and gale's jaw clenches hard, but it's not the time to get angry.

he's at a loss, because he's not gonna bring john home to an environment he's had a faint suspicion isn't the greatest since they met (however that might have been, that's shit for me to plot out later lol) but bringing him to his house seems like a bad idea, but he's also not sure what to do and john's friends don't seem the greatest to just leave him with a borderline stranger. so what else is there to do?

"am i gonna have to tie you to me, or are you gonna hold on tight?" he asks as he climbs on the bike in front of john, and john giggles out a "y'can tie me to wh'tever y'want," filter completely gone from how sloshed he is, and gale looks to the sky and says a silent prayer because jesus fucking christ. what.

i'm like 99% certain that alcohol would be involved in a feelings confession, probably that night when it slips out from john's lips, so drunk he doesn't even realize it. nothing would happen that night, because gale's trying to be a responsible adult and he wants to make sure john's not just saying shit, but he's also quite forward, so he'd bring it up in the morning after he's brought john a water and some painkillers, and john would go so red and he'd drop his head into his hands and whisper an "oh my god" because he can't believe he's slipped up so bad.

and then yk. feelings–talk ensues. john is so mortified, he wants to die. gale is so enamoured but trying to be realistic about things. etc etc i'll flesh it all out eventually when it's time to start writing it >:)

[theflashjaygarrick]

Absolutely wild to me that with all of DC's reboots/retcons no one has had the sense to completely erase the Arisia incident (and no, I do not count Johns' whole 'Hal thought it was creepy but then learnt that her planet rotates differently so she is actually 200' nonsense. It's probably the biggest stain on the green lantern franchise (followed by the Kalmaku nickname thing) and genuinely there is no benefit to it existing.

But importantly I don't mean erase Arisia. She is a character with a lot of potential as a little sister with self esteem issues, a child who has been conscripted into a literal galactic army and is honestly just trying her best. She's adorable and had a lot of potential before Englehart made it so disgusting I stopped reading his green lantern comics my I own sanity. And I do feel like while it definitely did tarnish Hal and his reputation (and lets be real, probably should have done so for almost every green lantern in that era except John) Arisia herself was honestly a lot harder hit with being hated and erased. Which is how a lot of comic controversies - and even real life abuse cases can - go. I feel like she honestly deserves a second chance to be explicitly and overtly removed from that uncomfortable and unnecessary arc rather than just being pushed aside so people can write Hal as a space maverick male fantasy (when will Spectre Hal come back from the war).

But like imagine an Arisia year one with me (wherein the writers and the corps aren't creeps):

Arisia is a young orphaned alien girl who is still grieving when she has the responsibility and powers of a lantern ring thrust upon her. While still trying to get a hang of her new powers she is called into OA where she meets the other Green Lanterns. She begins training and becomes the (actual) little sister/kid of the green lantern corps. Crucially no one is weird about her. I would probably make it so that her home planet values really strong familial ties so that as an orphan she is desperately seeking out a family in the green lantern corps, which clashes with some of the other members who initially see the other corpsmen as work buddies at most. In this when Hal and her hang out its because he's her mentor and he radiates cool uncle vibes.

And honestly you could keep the ageing up with the ring idea but instead of making it part of a creepy romance arc it could be used to further explore her own anxieties. Maybe she feels overlooked as a kid so decides to make herself look older to feel more powerful when on missions, but it eventually it makes her feel more self conscious about what she looks like normally. Then it ends with her learning to embrace and find confidence in who she really is. You know, classic coming of age stuff. And after that Hal and Jon decide to introduce her to the Teen Titans so she can be around other heroes (roughly) her own age.

So she ends up on Earth for while where you could have a fun fish out of water dynamic whilst she explores earth life in San Fransisco. Not only is she a member of teen titans as their GL (or Teen Lantern as they probably insist on calling her). She can have a whole side plot about making friends in her civilian identity and wanting to be a normal kid (milkshakes, diners, roller skating, baby gay crushes) while also knowing that at some point she has to go back to OA and to her home sector. Back there she has to embrace this massive responsibility (honestly too big for someone of her age) that she didn't choose, but that was rather an inherited burden from her late father and duty as a member of the corps.

Ultimately it would be about finding confidence in your own heroism, a found family, and having fun coming of age moments. And rescuing a promising female character from being an embarrassing footnote in DC (and Hal Jordan's) history.

DNI INTERACT IF YOU ENJOY HAL AND ARISIA AS A COUPLE. I DON'T KNOW IF THESE PEOPLE ARE REAL BUT IF THEY ARE, LEAVE MY POST/BLOG ALONE.

[ronearoundblindly]

A, K, & Z for my rare grimy man? 🥺

*While I have seen Snowpiercer a few times, I don't know the whole culture of the train thoroughly, so let's just say Curtis is A) really used to crowded spaces with no privacy, B) somewhere cold as hell, and C) still has very little, i.e. not a bunch of different clothes or idk soap and shit...

Prompts are from this dirty ask game, and they do get somewhat graphic (am I considered a hoe yet? i've written 18 of these suckers). MINORS DNI. You know I love you, you know I'll create content for you, but this isn't it! You want the Light Masterlist.

A - Alone Time

I believe Curtis's exact words would be "what fucking alone time?" but, sure, on the super rare occasion he gets to touch himself, here's how it goes.

He doesn't have access to porn. It's all imagination at this point.

His living space is so over-stuffed with people in bunks who, ya know, live their lives as best they can and so, yup, they have sex in those bunks and almost everyone can hear them. He can use those sounds in his imagination. Some are better than others.

What he imagines, though, is pure escapism.

He pictures someone soft and clean, they smell good, and they take all the time in the world just to look him in the eye when they touch him. There are no toys, just his own hands. He uses both. A recurring fantasy is (while he uses his weaker hand to jack off) teaching some innocent, sweet thing how to touch him. Gets him going, makes him a little wild to think about. Smidge of a corruption kink, this Curtis, but not in a mean way.

He wants someone all his own. Everything is shared and sparse here. He dreams of possessing someone, body and soul, because then they're his, unlike reality.

K - Kissing

Curtis may be desperate for some lovin' but he isn't a bully. This man hardly believes you're his, so he is completely adoring and slow. He wants to know what every possible way to touch you feels like. He holds your chin or cups your face to kiss you, softly, feather-light to start. You taste, smell, feel, and sound real; it's overwhelming and addictive.

He starts this slowly every single time you two kiss. Doesn't matter how nasty the fucking was the night before. Doesn't matter his mood. He really fucking likes these sweet, innocent kisses where you choose to go further, to pull him closer, to accept him into your body. Huge turn on for him.

(🥵 oh shit, I got myself, sweating now, give me a sec, yikes.)

There are some nights where those soft kisses are all he wants and needs in the world. Just the comfort and the escape of your little bubble of love is enough to soothe him to sleep, which is in and of itself a miracle. He's so tired of living on edge all the time...

Z - Zones

For warmth, as much of his (and your) body is covered at all times as much as possible. No one is naked during sex, not entirely. There aren't thick enough blankets to warrant that, and he's not going to lose a toe to frostbite simply to get his cock warmed. That's a bad trade-off. No deal.

Because of that, however, Curtis finds you touching those non-essential-to-sex-places highly erotic. There is no reason for you to have your bare hands way up by his shoulder blades. Sounds bizarre out of context, but he goes fucking berserk when you slither your grasp under his layers of shirts and dig your nails in just a bit. He loves that more than a goddamn blowjob, honestly.

Similarly, most of the back of him down to his thighs, at least half of his legs, and his feet have remained untouched by any human save himself since he was a kid. When his shitty, fourth-hand boots gave him horrible blisters, you scrounged up a bowl of warm water and washed his feet.

He fucking cried, and you thought it was because he was in pain. He's just never felt so loved and cared for in his miserable life. He still gets choked up thinking about that. He holds you that much tighter each time he remembers.

What areas does he love on you? Oh fuck, does he have to choose?

He can't possibly pick just one or two places. You're just all soft and all sensual. Nope, he can't pick favorites. He just can't. Although...one of your nipples seems more sensitive than the other, so maybe that? But he's not gonna give up any other bits! You can't make him. He will fucking fight for all of you.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

Oh, hell, here comes another blorbo...

*faints*

[posallys]

okay so i'm in the process of rereading pjo and i just got to botl and i want to talk about my girl annabeth. i feel like a good majority of the fandom mischaracterization of annabeth comes from botl, specifically because she was rude to rachel throughout the book, and then everyone just assumed that because she wasn't nice to rachel she must be a bitch inherently, on top of being this fucking emotionless shell of a person, which is wild to me because i don't know how her being rude to one (1) girl automatically discredits everything she's done in the past three books. i feel like it stems from a complete misunderstanding of why she was rude to rachel. let's make this clear: she wasn't rude to rachel because rachel was a potential love interest; she was rude to rachel because she was scared.

everyone she's ever loved has been taken from her in some way: her mom being absent because she's a goddess and not really wanting anything to do with annabeth; her feeling like her dad and stepmom didn't want her around (losing her real family); thalia, her found sister, sacrificing her life to save annabeth, and then leaving her again to join the hunters; luke betraying the camp, but more importantly betraying annabeth on a much deeper level because he was her only family. he promised her that he would be there for her, no matter what, and then he leaves her, just like everyone else. even grover left her, in a way, because he went out to search for pan and wasn't around. the only close person who hasn't left her at the point of botl? percy.

but she knows about the prophecy at that point, so she's spent the better part of three years resigning herself to the fact that her best friend is going to die when he turns sixteen and there's absolutely nothing she can do to stop that. she's spent the better part of three years trying not to fall in love with him because it would only hurt worse when the time comes. if i had to bet on it, the reason she was thinking about joining the hunters in ttc is because if she isn't around him (and also can't because she's a hunter), she won't become more attached to him than she already is. if she separated herself from him, it would hurt less. except here's the thing: by that point, she couldn't make herself do that. she couldn't make herself willingly give up percy yet, because it might not have been him. if i had to guess, when thalia came back, annabeth stopped worrying about percy dying---just for a little while---because she thought that thalia was going to be the child of the prophecy after all. so when thalia became a hunter, she was mentally prepared to lose thalia again. but that means that every fear she had about percy being the prophecy kid before thalia came back to life resurfaced full force, and now suddenly annabeth has a year and a half left with him when she thought that she might have longer. so despite the thought of her joining the hunters to prevent herself from getting too attached, she hadn't metnally come to the point where she was ready to give up the small hope that he would live.

which bring us now to botl. like i said, i'm just now rereading the book (and i'm only on chapter 1 but i started thinking about annabeth and here i am). annabeth is mean to rachel because she's terrified of losing percy too soon. sure, at this point she knows the prophecy is his, she knows come next summer she probably won't have him anymore---but that's just it: next summer. she's preparing herself to lose him in a year, not immediately. so when someone comes along that presents a way for her to lose percy, of course she gets scared, and she gets defensive about it. it's not even the fact that rachel was a potential love interest, it's more so the fact that rachel was a mortal, and not part of their world. if percy was with rachel, there's a good chance he'd try to leave the magical world behind, and, more importantly, leave annabeth behind, which she wasn't ready for yet.

hell, that's exactly what ended up happening in the beginning of tlo! annabeth wasn't upset because he was spending time with rachel, she was upset because he was spending time in the mortal world rather than her world and, in her mind because of all of her past experiences being abandoned, that translates to "percy is leaving her," and it was way earlier than she thought, and she wasn't ready. so what does she do? she tries to protect herself. she puts walls up and tries to act cold and distant because she's coming to terms with the fact that she's already lost him. she's already lost him.

and like, was she jealous of the fact that rachel was a love interest? probably, yeah. but i think it's also just important to know that there's something way deeper to it. annabeth isn't being a bitch for the sake of being a bitch, and she's not just jealous of rachel because she was a girl that liked percy. she was upset because he was getting further and further away right in front of her. he was leaving way quicker than she was prepared for, so a lot of the stuff she said to rachel came from a place of fear of losing percy, and anger at rachel for trying to pull him into the mortal world, effectively leaving her behind and adding another person to the list of people she loves that have left her.

[lonelylonelyghost]

Under the Skin analysis nobody asked for

a.k.a why I think that Du Cheng is pretty awesome actually.

SPOILERS for Under the Skin - Chinese drama, NOT a vore? body-snatcher?? movie with Scarlet Johansson. You have been warned.

*********

OK, let's get one thing out of the way first. People give Du Cheng a lot of shit about how he treated Shen Yi at first, which - fair, but hear me out.

Captain Lei for Du Cheng was not just a mentor and a fellow police officer, he was practically a father to him, the one who supported and showed young Mr. Du that he could redirect his anger and strength towards greater cause and help other people.

So imagine, in a very short amount of time, during the phone call with your almost-PARENT you hear him getting stabbed, find his dead body in a ditch, and then the reason the killers were able to identify him at all - a smug little shit of an artist who bragged about remembering every face he saw - couldn't draw for some reason the only face that mattered.

You'd also probably flip out and hold a grudge for 7 years.

Du Cheng also didn't know at this point that Shen Yi couldn't remember the face due to being dumped into the sea, he assumed that the artist just didn't want to do it.

I'm not saying that all this excuses Du Cheng's behavior, he's still a dick to an innocent person, a victim of circumstances - the fact which he already knew. What I'm saying is that it makes sense.

The scene in the interrogation room was amazing but I think we all know it

*********

Now, onto the thing:

The initial impression of Du Cheng's character is that yes, he's the police captain, and he's capable, but he's also kinda goofy. Like, where the work is not involved he's simple, straightforward person, not a genius like Shen Yi with his art or good with technology like Li Han, not very sophisticated, etc.

He's pretty chill overall (unless it's about murder cases or Shen Yi). Typical big gruff police captain that can be a butt of several jokes in other shows, but here is where things get interesting.

*********

When we first see him in the series, he's submerged in a bath inside of a suitcase, trying to figure out how a crime was committed. (Typing this I realized that there's even more of a theme of water and drowning, specifically of self-inflicted kind, than I'd thought before).

It shows that he's willing to go to great lengths to solve a case, including getting himself in a harm's way in the process, and this is demonstrated constantly throughout the show.

Later we see that he's also a good leader of his team, street-smart and physically strong.

A lot of wet men this show has

Speaking of physicality, I like how Du Cheng carries himself. With his height and size he could seem awkward, but Du Cheng is in complete control of his body.

His movements are big (wide? idk but you get my point) but fluid and calculated at the same time, partly because of the years' worth of training, partly because like many other tall people he's used to moving in the world that's occupied by smaller humans and a lot of fragile items.

He's not using his size for his advantage in everyday life, unless it's for the case and he needs to save one ever-unlucky Shen-laoshi from trouble for the tenth time that week.

He moves with the grace of a wild animal, calm and seemingly tame until he isn't, which is why although I understand his comparison to a dog in the show, I feel like he's more of a wolf.

Basically, there are three things I can watch forever - how the fire burns, how Shen Yi draws, and how Du Cheng jumps into the swimming pool.

*********

Another little mystery about Du Cheng that just doesn't let me go is - what the hell is his family background?

At first it seemed like he was just an ordinary rebellious teenager from some kind of tumultuous household. We don't hear anything about his parents, so we're simply left to assume (the same goes for Shen Yi).

That was until Du Qing comes into the picture. Du Cheng's sister is like rich-rich, so she could either amount to such power herself (girlboss ❤), or she's already come from money.

If the latter is the case, then what was Du Cheng doing on the streets all those years ago? Rich boy's tantrum? It didn't seem like it. Also, Du siblings seem pretty close, so I don't think that Du Qing would let her younger brother roam the streets if she had a choice.

Maybe I missed something? I don't know, but this tidbit just tickles my fancy for some reason, like what's his deal?

*********

But the thing that proved to me the fact that Du Cheng is as complex of a character as She Yi was when he framed himself as M's killer.

(I mean, I knew that he was innocent from the start, because hello, this is s Chinese contemporary show about cops, there's only so much wiggle room in terms of morality the censorship would allow - either he's guilty and he dies at the end, or he's not and everything will be fine. It didn't seem like the first option, so...)

Even before the whole thing went down, Du Cheng in general never seemed like a sidekick, simply a load of big muscles compared to Shen Yi's torturous genius, but this particular decision really cemented the quality of this partnership - in different ways, but they're equal. Neither can do without the other, and both of them can adapt and change their usual tactics when required.

And do you realize how rare this kind of thing is??

When two people have this sort of dynamic in a show - where one is very smart and the other is more down to earth - the second person more often than not would just feel like an assistant to the first one, and it's incredibly annoying to me personally.

But here it's different and oh my god IT'S SO GOOD! I practically screamed in excitement when it happened.

The motherfucker can scheme! This guy fell down from the stairs, hit his head, saw that M was dead, instantly understood what was happening and came up with a whole plan, which granted, involved getting himself in huge trouble, but it's not like Du Cheng is the only one who likes to be self-sacrificial fool in this show.

He sets a trap for the villain like a predator for the prey and then patiently waits. He knows that the price for this stunt is not only getting framed for the murder and demoted/imprisoned/executed? (I don't know the terms for death sentences in China very well), it's also the trust and potential well-being of his colleagues, and Du Cheng still agrees to pay it. He's ruthless both to himself and others, and I LOVE IT.

The later parts of the show provides us with not only deliciously tense moments, full of suspicions and drama and angst (the dinner with Du Qing, and Shen Yi drawing the eyes from the security footage are especially great), but also proves that BOTH of main characters have this darker undercurrent beneath their friendly exteriors.

And although it can't really be explored properly due to censorship, it still is fascinating to think about.

[avatarrecom]

Day 10: Hunter/Prey

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Recom!reader (can be read as character x reader)

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: First time writing smut, so it probably sucks lol. As you can see, I got carried away with Miles 😂.

If you've read my kinktober masterlist, you know that I wasn't comfortable with the original propmt, knife kink, so I came up with this prompt, which is heavily inspired by “Colonel’s Orders” by @whxre-bxby.

Also, I skipped Fike, because I couldn't come up with something for him for the life of me

Kinktober masterlist

🌍 Recom Miles Quaritch You were running through the trees as fast as you could, breathing heavily. The sun was setting quickly, casting a beautiful mix of amber and orange colors. No matter how much time he gave you, he was always faster and an expert at tracking. You were screwed. And strangely, you were okay with it. The only indication that Miles had started searching for you was the sound of the wind rushing through the trees. One moment, you were running, and the next, you were forcefully pushed against a nearby tree, the rough bark scratching against your front. Miles pressed himself against your back, wrapping his arms around you. You took a shaky breath. And then Miles let out a fucking growl. A deep, soul-splitting growl escaped from his chest as he held you tightly against the tree. "And where did you think you were going?" You tried to answer, but he silenced you by placing his hand over your mouth. "Shhh, Darlin’, I've got you now, don't I?" He emphasized his point by grinding against your backside, pushing your cheek against the tree bark. "You're mine now," Miles said in a low, dark voice as his hand explored your body, slipping under your shirt. "Nowhere to hide... nothing to hide..." His lips brushed against your neck, leaving bruises and marks as he leisurely played with your body however he pleased. "I could do whatever I wanted right now, couldn't I?" It was true, and the thought only made you feel hotter as Miles undid the button on your pants. Miles's lips trailed along your ear, his voice gravelly. "How about I find out how loud I can make you scream when I fuck you right here in the dirt?"

😈 Recom Lyle Wainfleet "Gotcha." That's the last thing you hear as Lyle tackles you hard, his big body crashing into yours. You hit the dirty ground, and without wasting a second, he rips off your pants and underwear. His cock glides against your wet folds, already slick from the thrilling chase, and a whimper escapes your lips. In one smooth move, he thrusts himself inside you, and the slight pain of the stretch is nothing compared to the incredible pleasure of him hitting that sweet spot right away. "Next time, run faster, babe," he growls.

🍬 Recom Z-dog So, you were running through the forest with Z-dog hot on your heels. It was supposed to be a training session, but you could tell it was turning into something more for her. "You think you can outrun me, babe? Don't worry, I'll catch you." And catch you she did. You couldn't help but let out a moan as she pinned you down on the forest floor and started getting handsy with your pants. Her fingers were driving you wild as they teased the sides of your thighs, right up next to your cunt. "Z, please..." you whispered, but she just looked up at you with a wicked grin. "Oh, honey. You don't get to call the shots here."

🥽 Recom Walker She's totally into playing a game of hunter and prey. It's like, when she hears your heartbeat and those cute little breaths you take while you're trying to hide among the trees, it really gets her adrenaline going. And hey, if by some miracle you manage to win, she'll let you be in charge for the night. But if you lose, well, you're at her complete mercy until you can't handle it anymore.

😎 Recom Mansk Hunting someone down is totally a guilty pleasure. The thrill of the chase just amps him up, and no matter where you hide in the forest, he's got a nose and ears that never fail to pick you up among the forest smells and sounds. He gets a bit rougher after he catches you and fucks the life outta you, but don't worry, he always checks if you're alright. And hey, if you're cool with it, he might even leave a bite or mark as a souvenir.

🧯 Recom Prager Initially, he was unaware that this was considered a kink. When Miles explained the training exercise to him and when he found out that he got to chase you, he was ecstatic. It made him all riled up, which you and your other lovers noticed. It wasn't until someone told him that he realized the nature of his desires. He definitely enjoys the thrill of chasing you, exerting effort to catch up, but always knowing he can easily capture you within a minute. The sensation of hunting his prey exhilarates him, leading to him going all out in bed like there's no tomorrow. Trust me, you won't be able to walk straight for a while after that.

⚕️ Recom Ja When he catches you, he's got this huge grin on his face. And his tail, man, it's sweeping around him like you've never seen before. He's totally in his element. He grabs your chin and plants this deep, passionate kiss on you. His teeth lightly graze your lips, giving you this tingling, stinging sensation. And then, out of nowhere, he tears your clothes apart and he innocently goes, "Oops, my bad!" Next thing you know, he pulls you onto his lap and tells you to hold onto the tree behind you. He starts trailing kisses down from your chest all the way down to your cunt. And let me tell you, he's so damn good at it that you can't help but squirm with pleasure. He's got such a tight grip on your hips, making sure you can't move much. After that, he pushes you down to the ground and starts grinding against you for a bit. And then he thrusts into you with all his might, going at it like a wild animal. He's got a firm hold on the back of your head, and you can hear him panting above you.

🧢 Recom Brown When he finally catches you, he jumps on you and rolls around for a bit before pinning you down with a huge grin on his face like he just won the lottery. "Gotcha!" he says before kissing you like you're the only thing that matters. Then he scoops you up in his arms and takes you to a private spot. As a reward for catching you, he asks you to suck his dick. He loves the way your mouth feels on him and just watching you do it is one of his favorite things. Once you've got him nice and wet, he wastes no time in fucking you hard and holding you down so he can feel every inch of you. It's pure bliss for him.

📿 Recom Lopez Before you know it, he's got you in his grasp, using sneaky moves to take you down and tie you up with a rope. He's into a little rough play, so he gives you a good spanking and enjoys the sounds you make. Once you're all tied up, he starts stripping you down, even ripping your clothes off if he has to. But don't worry, the ropes are comfy and don't hurt. He even takes the time to pleasure you a bit, telling you how hot you look all tied up. And if you make some good noises, he'll make you feel even better. Before you know it, he's going at it with wild abandon, using those ropes to hold you in place and give you the ride of your life. It's like he's barely holding on to his self-control as he takes you to new heights.

⛓️ Recom Fike Sorry, but I honestly can’t see him being into this. I’ll edit this post if I do come up with something.

[gokubrain]

are you aware of the hit vegeta image song ‘love is like a ballad’ from the fusion reborn soundtrack where it’s essentially a kakavege love song 😭😭

https://www.animelyrics.com/anime/dbz/ainobaraado.htm

and i’m 99.9% sure it’s about goku too because it uses the word ‘yatsu’ which is only used by men to refer to other men in a derogatory way… it drives me so insane

OH YOU ALREADY KNOWWWW IM WELL AWARE OF THIS LMFAO thank u for giving me the chance to talk about it HAHA

under here cuz its kind of a lot:

lets break down the lyrics shall we ..

right off the fucking bat. starting off STRONG. for vegeta to even have the thought “on this small earth life must be protected to the end” is such a good line but pairing it with “but whenever i look at you i feel like a fool” CRAAZYYYYY. insane. protecting the earth is a huge part of all the earthlings’ characters, and without goku, vegeta wouldnt have those feelings. to talk about protecting earth in one line and then immediately talk about goku next is wildddd. “i want to protect the earth, you taught me the importance of that, and yet when i look at you im reminded that it’s because of YOU that i hold these feelings about this planet.” like okAAAY alright okay!!

“why do i treat you so harshly? why do i hurt you that way? yet still fight against great evils” GRAAAHHHH this is insane right LMAO

vegeta displaying confusion as to why he treats goku the way he does when they share the same goal.. when they fight the same battles.. this self aware-ness is literally what early-stage kakavege IS dude. vegeta feeling conflicted about his actions vs his emotions is the first step to realizing he’s in love with goku.. haha. lol

“for the sake of love […] i would even throw away my rank” VEGETAAA. WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUTTTTT LMFAO….

vegeta suggesting he would disown his own ranking, his pride, something very near and dear to him.. this is also early kakavege core LMAO i mean come on. thats just an insane fucking thing for him to say. unreal.

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER….!!!

“IN TRUTH, THIS POWER IS NOTHING. ALL I KNOW IS YOU.” VEGETA……..!!!!!!!!

ALL I KNOW IS YOU? ALL I KNOW IS YOU???

“although i pretend to be a steel wall […] all i know is you” is just. i mean. EXPLICITLY kakavege. this is kakavege poetry. this is vegeta’s struggle perfectly put into lyric form. i cant believe this fucking song exists lmfao

NOW. NOW..

“the smile you give me is always warm” is wild when thinking about how the entire fusion reborn movie consists of 45 minutes of goku smiling lovingly at vegeta LMAO DONT EVEN THINK VEGETA DIDNT NOTICE. !!

“here i am, offering myself completely if we can be together”

AINT THAT JUST THE ICING ON THE CAKE FOLKS. DONT THAT JUST BEAT ALL LMFAO. ANYONE ELSE FEEL SUPER NORMAL RN?

offering myself completely. giving my all to you. devoting myself to you. THIS IS ONE OF THE FUCKING BUILDING BLOCKS OF KAKAVEGE DUDE. THIS IS ONE OF THE RUNNING THEMES, A KAKAVEGE LEITMOTIF. THIS IS SO VEGETA. I WANNA DIE LMFAO

“if we can be together” …. i mean. what even is there to say about that. how much more explicit can he be here. this is the most straightforward thing vegeta will ever say in terms of kakavege lmao this is it folks. this is IT !!!

its just unreal right. that a song like this even exists.. i mean its so obviously about goku, talking about training together and vegeta being mean to him and protecting earth together and throwing away his rank….. if you think even for one second that this is about bulma you are BLIND. like lets all be serious a moment lmao

and i love that this is related to fusion reborn of all things. that movie is the fucking kakavege bible dude i SWEAR. this whole song makes so much sense if you see fusion reborn as a love story, it all fits so perfectly with how vegeta would theoretically be feeling during the (vaguely referenced) place in the timeline that this movie takes place. this is buu arc shit baby its the point of no return for vegeta its the beginning of the end.. he is realizing his feelings for goku.. i live for this shit man seriously this is what i thrive on

also the goddamn song is called “love is like a ballad” i mean what else can even be said lmfao ..!

[demonic-mnemonic]

I'M FUCKING SCREAMING BECAUSE I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT THE KISS AND I AM LOSING MY ABSOLUTE MIND OVER IT

It relates back to my other theory, which to summarize in case you don't feel like reading all that, goes like this:

Something went wrong with the miracle, it doesn't just affect whether people notice and remember Gabriel but can affect any of their memories about anything and we're already starting to see signs that it's been happening.

[EDIT: I'm no longer attached to the idea that the miracle is what's fucking with people's memories, but I'm positive that something (probably Metatron) is. Still leaving the original text the same]

It goes a bit deeper than that, but that's the basics of what you need to know for THIS theory and I'm sure you can already see where I'm going with this, or at least where I'm going with the first half of it. This is a two part theory.

The first part, as you've probably guessed, is that Aziraphale reacts to the kiss the way he does because he's already lost too much of their history together. And we have no way of knowing how much. I don't actually think it's a whole lot at this point. But maybe enough. Just barely enough to shift the way that Aziraphale views the nature of their relationship.

Now if we're being completely honest here, there's no way Aziraphale was going to have a positive reaction to that kiss. Too much has just happened. 6000 years worth of bridges just went down in flames, something vital just broke and they both know it.

This theory isn't really based on the fact that he reacted badly to the kiss, because of course he did, how could he not? This is more about a few very specific moments during his reaction. I could probably fill a library analyzing everything that was going on there, but

When Crowley first starts his confession Aziraphale seems puzzled, like he's not quite sure where all this is coming from or what Crowley is trying to get at. It's as though the thought of them together has never even crossed his mind before, and I think we're pretty much all in agreement that yes it goddamn well has.

And it only gets worse from there. His expression when Crowley first pulls him into the kiss? It's like a punch in the gut every single time. Even though a multitude of emotions flash across his face in the next few seconds, it doesn't matter. You can already see how it's going to play out. Even though every fiber of your being screams that this can't be right, that one look already told you everything you need to know.

And then Aziraphale puts his hand on Crowley's shoulder, and for one wild and desperate moment you feel an aching surge of hope, because at least he's finally returning Crowley's embrace. Things are still dire, so many things are so wrong, and there's still no clear path to fix any of it. But he's returning Crowley's embrace, and no matter what happens next, there's hope.

But then the moment passes and you realize....you were wrong. You misunderstood. There was no embrace. There was only a split second careless placement of Aziraphale's hand. They break apart, and for several seconds there is an absolute war of emotions on his face, but then his expression hardens, and he says "I forgive you", and it is the single worst thing you have ever heard uttered in your life

But let's talk about something else for a minute, and it's going to seem slightly off topic at first, but bear with me. You know how there are brief moments when Jim recalls a memory as Gabriel for a few seconds?

The first time is when they're trying to figure out the first thing he remembers and rather than recalling any of his memories as Jim, he recalls a memory as Gabriel. The second time it happens is the time he gets ominous. "There will come a tempest." And then one last time, when he finally has a snippet of a memory about where his actual memory might be. And you know what all of those have in common?

Crowley.

Every single time Gabriel's memory starts to break through, it's Crowley who triggers it.

Crowley is the one who asks him, "What's the very first thing you remember?"

It's when Crowley says the word 'tempest' that Gabriel resurfaces and starts talking about a tempest and dire things to come.

Crowley asks him, "Well where is your memory then?" And Jim suddenly remembers about the matchbox.

Coincidence? Maybe. But it got me thinking. What if there's something about Crowley, some kind of innate ability to pull these memories to the surface, without even knowing he's doing it? And then, when I was watching the kiss for about the millionth time, another thought occured to me.

What if I was right??? What if, in that one brief instant of absolute fucking lunatic hope, I was right? Aziraphale WAS embracing him, he WAS returning the kiss. Because Crowley had pulled enough of what had been lost to the surface, enough that he remembered, if only for one brief second, he remembered what they were to each other.

I HAVE NOT KNOWN PEACE FOR A SINGLE SECOND SINCE THE MOMENT THIS THOUGHT OCCURED TO ME

[billybabear]

Some BillyBabe fanfic-writing advice needed ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

So I fell madly in love with the Thai BL 'The Sign'. So much so that it had a horde of plot bunnies run wild in my head.

It gave me so much inspiration that I decided to just start writing again, which makes me unbelievably happy because I definitely forgot how much I enjoyed it.

My story is a RPF about the cast of the show, specifically Babe and Billy, because I just love their relationship (other cast members are featured as well, primarily Heng and Akk).

I don't have a good summary yet, but it's roughly this:

Babe Tanatat never anticipated how much his life would change the moment he stepped onto the set of 'The Sign'. He finds incredible new friends among his co-stars, experiences things he never imagined he would and gets to be part of something truly special.

But every success has it's downsides. From mishaps to accidents to sheer bad luck, everything that can go wrong does.

And if that doesn't make his life complicated enough, Babe finds himself grappling with some unexpected yet very confusing feelings for one particular coworker.

Babe has no idea how he got himself into this mess, nor how he can get out of it.

(Seriously, trying to come up with a half-decent summary is way harder than any writing I've done so far. But I guess coming up with a title will be worse 🫠)

In my story I'm following the episodes, going through them one at a time, picking out scenes that have the potential to go wrong / be funny / etc.. I'm also using the bts-material, as well stuff they said in interviews or offhand comments in their reaction videos (I'm a sucker for details, if you can't tell 😆)

Also, it might have gotten a little out of hand. I've already written around 130k words (not edited or in the correct order, but still), before I decided it might be nice to publish it. And I'm not even halfway through the list of stuff I want for each episode.

And yes, I actually made a list. A (not so) little file for each episode, detailing what scenes and prompts I want there with bullet points for the actual plot. So basically I already have a rough concept/script, but with enough space in between for new ideas.

Since this will be the first time I ever upload a story (on AO3), I'd like to get some opinions on it first.

What do you think about the overall idea? Is it something you might be interested in?

What tense do you prefer while reading - present or past?

What is your preferred chapter length (especially in longer stories)?

What do you think about pictures at the beginning of a chapter? Since I'm following the episodes/bts, there will almost always be a specific scene tied to each chapter. I'm playing with the idea of adding a picture/gif at the start of these. For easy reference where in the storyline we are (or just because they're all cute (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)). Is that something you'd enjoy? Or do you find it more disruptive/annoying?

And I'm always open to new prompts or plot ideas (tied to specific scenes or not).

I hope some of you can share your thoughts, since I'm a complete newbie to publishing stuff. Any other tips and tricks are always greatly appreciated as well 🤗

Have a good one!

(+ I promise my actual writing is better than whatever weird rant this is. Never done a blog post either, and I'm guessing it shows 😂)

[leoleolovesdc]

I would love to write a TTS essay explaining why Gothel isn’t Cassandra’s mother and Frederick and Arianna aren’t Rapunzel’s parents and the show’s insistence on pushing parent/child struggles into those characters is kind of really forced so that’s exactly what I’m gonna do:

(Disclaimer: this got really messy and is kind of a bunch of nonesense glued together, so read it with a bit of patiece lmao)

Rapunzel grew up for the first 18 years of her life with Gothel, when TTS starts she has been living with Fred and Ari for 6 months and it’s wild to me how Raps already calls them mom and dad, but I won’t judge this part, she wants to be their daughter and wants to be a family so it makes sense that she would call them that way regardless if it feels natural or not, but I think where the series really fails is when it starts (by the very first episode) to give Rapunzel and Frederick father-daughter struggles, which is complete bs if you ask me, those two don’t know each other. Rapunzel shouldn’t have a “oh, I can’t disobey my father” train of thought because she doesn’t even know him and therefore he isn’t her father, at least not yet. She shouldn’t be so trusting of his judgement of love for her because they don’t have intimacy and the fact that they are fighting and disagreeing so much after having just reconnected is wild. Arianna is not that important for the plot, but her relationship with Rapunzel being so unapologetically perfect also rubs me the wrong way. Rapunzel was ruined by her mother, she was abused her whole life and I don’t think she would just let anyone fulfill the role Gothel did without getting some therapy to unpack everything wrong that her mother, the one that actually raised her, did.

Rapunzel had a narcissistic mother, an awlful one who never loved her, but that doesn’t mean that she didn’t love Gothel. Raps lived her whole by that woman’s side, she loved her more than anything in the world and realizing the manipulation and abuse wouldn’t just immediately stop a person as kind and forgiving as Rapunzel to still love her like a mother, because like it or not Gothel raised her for 18 years. She wasn’t a good mother by any means but she was her mother nonetheless.

Another point is that at the end of season one Rapunzel goes away from Corona to explore, learn about the world and her own powers. I am not exactly sure how much time passes from the beginning to the end of s1 but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t more than 6 months, so Rapunzel lives with her bio parents for about a year and then goes straight into a one year long self discovery journey and you’re trying to tell me that she missed them? Not even just missed, but when she got hold of an artifact that showed what you waned the most what she saw were her biological parents and the people of Corona who in the first episode she claims to not remember the names of? That’s some real bs right there and I have no idea how the show runners thought this made any sort of sense. She doesn’t fucking know them, maybe she respects or care about her folks, but she couldn’t have possibly built this life long parent/child relationship that the show treats like she did.

Now, with Cassandra it’s a bit more complicated. She lived with Gothel for about four years of her life before being abandoned, but she very obviously didn’t remember any of this, either because she was too young or because she repressed those memories. Gothel didn’t seem to love Cass in the slightest, but because Cass grew up with only a emotionally distant father she longed for this reassurance that she was loved by a parent figure at some point in her life, she blames Rapunzel for everything that went wrong with her life, which can make sense but also is a bit awkward to sustain once you analyze the actual facts. Yes, Rapunzel and Eugene killed Gothel, but she didn’t mean to do that, it was Eugene’s plan and he only did it because Raps had literally agreed to be used and locked up from the real world for the rest of her life. Cass isn’t dumb, she would know better than lashing out at her friends for accidentally saving her from living with a narcissist who didn’t care about her. Gothel isn’t Cassandra’s mother, Cass doesn’t have a mother because she didn’t have anyone to actually raise her.

If I was to rewrite Tangled we’d have a very different approach to how bio parents are handled, especially Rapunzel’s. I don’t think she should be close to Arianna and Frederick at all, heck, I don’t even think she should call them mom and dad. Cause bear with me, if you randomly found ot you are adopted by the time you were 18 and actually went to live with your biological family for about a year do you think you’d even have this sort of intimacy and bond with them?

[eeblouissant]

Hello, if you are up for it I would love to know more about your headcanons for Rose being autistic. It makes so much sense to me, and I'd like to more 😊

I’d love to talk about my rose hcs :D here’re a few !!! this became a bit all over the place so bare with me lol

(some of you may have seen / seen me talk about these in the past but shhhh I like talking about things over and over - I love her so much it’s insane where do I even begin)

Firstly I think it’s important to note that rose obviously has/would have been autistic her whole life. The way an autistic person who has lived longer than you or I with their autism and autistic traits is going to deal & cope differently, and have more experience with managing/regulating - or at least in my head! We have to look at rose differently because I don’t believe she would experience autism the same way you or I would anymore; nothing is really new to her.

Until she moves in with Blanche, that is!!!!

I think rose, after being in the same spot for so long (st. Olaf) learnt on her own how to manage & cope with being autistic because she had a “life long” routine that never really changed until Charlie died? From the bits she’s shared about her at home life during her marriage it all sounds meticulously planned & never changing, which is one of the many reasons why I hc her being autistic actually. Charlie also seemed to have a similar routinely-ness about him but I don’t know enough to properly headcanon him (although, rose having an autistic partner would have brought her great comfort im sure. The idea sits in the back of my mind - however, I could definitely go on about Blanche & Dorothy being their own kinds of neurodivergent haha)

I think roses most “obvious” autistic trait is how oblivious (?) she can be, and very often is. She has moments where it’s made very clear that rose is not stupid, because she isn’t!!! She’s very clever and it’s crucial that point is underlined often!! She does tend to have things fly over her head, or taken too literally. We know that and it doesn’t need repeating - But another thing that really stands out to me is her lack of filter when speaking!!! This may just me be projecting, but I’ve noticed that most of the time, when she drops some wild out of no where (and sometimes slightly out of character) comeback at one of the girls, it comes out straight and with little thought. Innocently, almost? Like a thought just breached containment, you know 😂. I’ve seen a few autistic people talk about this but it really can be a problem - it’s something I personally struggle with and that has caused very angry fights between friends & family. It’s that, “if you didn’t want my opinion why ask?” thing I guess? But also just speaking your mind. This extends to her interests as well, and often in an “anger” of outbursts we don’t ever expect from her. ie: the scene where Blanche has accidentally given away her teddy bear & rose snaps. It’s a bit jarring the way it comes out of nowhere! But I’ll touch on her interests later.

I don’t think rose overly struggled/struggles with masking, because I don’t believe she’s ever really felt she had to (This adds onto my last point about lacking a filter). She grew up in an environmental where she always very closely related to the people around her, and that had mostly known her for her entire life (that she had grown up with). So I would like to assume that to them, this was just rose. The only rose that they had ever known. Nothing would be out of place to them because what else do they know! So naturally there would be no room for judgement = rose feels no pressure to conform. St. Olaf sounds like my autistic heaven, no wonder rose misses her hometown so bad 😭. Anyway the first time she’d ever get a strange look would’ve definitely been that first moment her & Blanche met. Blanche was a little startled by roses definition of being “a wild woman” and rose seemed completely lost by it - because she had never experienced that before! She even asked, panicked, why Blanche was putting her flyer back up. I could over analyze that scene forever. Dorothy was a separate shock to the system for her but I feel like that’s a whole post on it’s own. I really want to write out my thoughts on Dorothy & Rose warming up to each other one day because it’s not expanded on much :’) they’re soooooooooooo important to me.

Roses main interests also inspired this headcanon. Many autistic people tend to have “weird” or “childish” interests, regardless of age or gender. Lots of autistic people don’t tend to view age and gender the way someone who’s not autistic would - they’re not as concrete & restricting. Rose definitely has interests that would be considered strange for her age! Her protectiveness of her stuffed animals, Disney, even (what I consider to be her special interest) St. Olaf could be considered by some, outside of Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia, kind of odd. I think these things can be seen as less-so because Rose is a woman, which I’m sure would’ve been a lovely thing & saved her many uncomfortable questions.

Rose often self soothes/stims when she’s feeling particularly out of sorts or if she’s run into a slightly uncomfortable situation. One of my favourite examples is that clip where she’s taken two sock puppets & acts them out to be Blanche & Dorothy. Dorothy walks into the kitchen without her noticing &, once rose says something with her sock puppet that she’s not very fond of, hits her over the head (lovingly) with the paper. Rose repeats “bad puppet” to herself & knocks her wrists together. She also turns to the girls (but mostly Dorothy I think?) when she needs to self soothe or regulate. Another example that I think about all the time because I just love the clip so much - that bit where Blanche was on a diet for whatever reason she felt she needed to be & rose had accidentally eaten the food Blanche had prepared beforehand. Blanche explodes & rose immediately goes to hide herself behind Dorothy. Hinting at autistic traits or not, that scene is so damn precious 😭 be still my heart.

(the clip in question … I couldn’t help myself. Excuse the quality it’s been sitting in my camera roll for a while)

These are just some of my thoughts :D if anyone has any specific questions about my headcanons (or examples of autistic traits that I haven’t mentioned yet) pleaseeeee send them my way !!!!! I love love love talking about rose !!!!!!! <<<33333

[goldensunset]

it’s breath of the wild’s 7th anniversary can i get sappy and vulnerable on main real quick cuz it completely changed my life

so it was christmas 2017 when my brother received a nintendo switch and breath of the wild. i remembered watching him play a bit the day he got it and funny enough my first thought back then upon seeing the opening cutscene was ‘wow this animation is janky’ because i thought we were watching an animated movie. the moment i realized it was a video game i was shook. bc for a game WOW how beautiful. anyway i watched him mess around and die horribly and it was funny but i didn’t think much about it

flash forward a few months later. in april of 2018- a nice spring day, must’ve been a weekend or some other time i had time off bc my friend was over- my brother came home from college and brought his nintendo switch and this game over. he had me make a file and i didn’t know what i was doing at all because i was not only unfamiliar with the game and console, but largely unfamiliar with the concept of this type of video game at all

see, i was not a gamer at all. i had played mario kart/party and some random stuff on the ds but nothing resembling an action adventure game aside from super mario 64 ds. and i never got past like the first level or so on that game bc i was bad at it as a kid and also like.. scared? of games? like a game in which you had to fight enemies and could take damage and die. even something really simple like a goomba was actively stressful to me somehow. (to this day i still kind of have the hyper-empathy mindset where letting the video game player die feels like letting a real person die i have to treat a fun work of fiction like a real life-or-death situation so i just prefer not to get into danger when i can avoid it. all that’s changed is i have the skill to face danger and accumulate ways to protect myself now lol)

soooo i don’t know what manner of madness convinced me to even try a game like breath of the wild, which is immensely more complicated and difficult than super mario 64 ds. but maybe it’s bc i was older then or bc my friend was over to help me and we were like trading the console? but you get what i’m saying. as one might expect, i was pressing the wrong buttons, getting overwhelmed by basic enemies, falling off cliffs bc i lacked precision skills in my motion, etc.

and as one might expect, i eventually got frustrated and bored. i remembered my brother asking me what my long-term strategy or plan was for playing the game, and that question sort of overwhelmed me because i was thinking ‘do i really intend to keep playing at all?’. when i put the game aside that day (after having only reached/fallen off the great plateau tower, i mean) i wasn’t really interested in continuing, and i figured i could probably never be good at it anyway.

but for some reason, and i wish i remembered why, i picked it back up again not long after. me, who had never been willing to commit to a game. maybe it was my desire to correct my failures and figure out what i was at last doing. i felt ready for a good challenge and i got the sense this was the sort of game that was more skill than luck. maybe it was the beautiful scenery and ambience. maybe it was that sense of peaceful melancholy. maybe it was because i could see so much on the horizon, so many mysteries around me, that i just had to be able to reach someday. in such a massive open world in which the plot wasn’t spoonfed to me but i had to discover it, my interest had been piqued.

or maybe it was because i was bored and depressed. i was close to the end of freshman year in high school, which had been pure misery. difficult to understate just how awful life was for me during that point in time (but it was just the terrifying cocoon stage of becoming a butterfly). so yeah, why not pick up a new piece of media? why not dive into this world? i think we all know just how powerful it is to develop a new interest when going through a rough patch- it can turn absolutely everything around. (even if it ends up distracting you from the work you need to do lol. but in my case i consider that a necessary tradeoff for giving me the serotonin my brain doesn't naturally produce enough of)

and i think there's something to be said about the medium of a video game, which was basically new to me at the time- i think it's something about the ability to have control over what's happening. in tv shows things just happen. in real life i felt like i had no control over anything. so i was suddenly able to express myself in a way that i had never gotten to before, and it was powerful. especially in an open-world game with so much to do and discover. (something something the adhd-er's wild fantasy of being able to complete tasks and make progress).

i quickly became addicted- i could play for hours on end and barely put a dent in the smallest section of the map. i couldn't believe how genuinely massive the world was and i just wanted to explore more and more, but without skipping anything i came across. i still remember in my mind exactly where i was in my house when reaching many of those early-game checkpoint places, curled up in a chair in the corner, listening to my mom make dinner in the other room... etc. the definition of nostalgia. (which is something i only have so much of given how most of my interests i didn't get into until significantly later in life. i was 15 when this was happening whereas most people's childhood nostalgia type stories are from when they were like 5 to 8. but this was such a foundational time in my life y'know?)

i remember hours of getting lost in the wilderness (i truly had the worst habit of either not getting the maps or not heeding them) and never going on the clearly marked roads bc i was convinced i could take a shortcut by just taking a straight line to my destination. which often involved attempting to scale a ridiculously steep and tall mountain with like one and a half wheels of stamina. live and learn, right?

i remember the way it took absolutely forever to reach zora's domain (the fact that i didn't get the tower map beforehand probably significantly contributed to that) so the absolute joy and relief i felt when i got there and was safe at last. i adore all the champions so much but mipha is for sure the one that messes up my heart the most to this day, as both the first one i got and the one with objectively the most emotional story. something about water levels has always unsettled me- no matter what, to me they're always associated with being cold, wet, and uncomfortable, even if it's supposed to be beautiful (and vah ruta sure wasn't meant to be for obvious reasons). especially if the player has to swim- whether there's limited breath or not, i can't help but imagine how stressful it would be to dive deep and be under pressure like that. but on the flip side, once you're finally done with those levels and back on dry land, it feels comforting. warm, dry and stable again- sort of like how you feel after you're finished crying. you had to endure the drowning and the suffering and now you're safe. that's how the vah ruta quest feels to me.

each new ruin, or quiet little settlement, really just lodged its way into my heart, but i think the location that makes me the most emotional is the flight range- its beautiful broken melody, the howling wind and snow, its position in the middle of the wilderness like a little safe haven in the mountains, the faint memory of revali... i used to just go there and sit for hours. it's just gorgeous and it hits so hard. once again, it's all about that quiet, solemn peace after a tragedy has occurred- the sadness lingers, but you learn to live again. botw just excels at this in pretty much every aspect, enough said

which comes to the central conflict of the premise- our titular heroine, zelda, and her struggles to complete her duty, her guilt complex, the pressure and loneliness she felt, etc. i have identified so closely with her for the entire time i've known her. (done a fair amount of projecting too but listen. listen) the way she felt weak and powerless and just wanted to find a way to make people happy, especially her overbearing father who didn't care enough for her happiness... that hit so hard as an emotionally volatile teenager with similar issues. to this day my dad only talks to me to nag me about something important i need to do but he's never cared about my personal interests. he acts more like my manager than my parent. throughout high school especially i just kept falling back to zelda's story every time my dad was being awful and i needed to escape him, listening to him call me lazy, behind the ball, etc when i was clearly going through severe depression that would have never even occurred to him. and while unlike zelda i still have my mom she's always been incredibly emotionally distant so there was no looking to her either. i blamed myself for everything that went wrong even though i never could've done anything without the kind of help i needed, similar to zelda

for me personally the theme of failing to succeed in the role other people were pressuring her into resonated with me and my undiagnosed... whatever it is. i am positive i am not neurotypical. i've always more or less self-identified as adhd (my parents would laugh if i suggested that) and i've never received support or treatment or anything. that plus the undiagnosed and untreated depression. the way zelda just couldn't do something that she had no idea how to even begin trying to do, the way going through the rituals that worked for other people did nothing for her... that hit hard as someone just barely trying to stay alive in high school, who always felt alienated from others and never could understand exactly why, who was bad at a lot of things... but my dad only cared about results

and in turn. the emotional catharsis of her finally unlocking the latent power she'd been struggling to reach inside her. it's never been established exactly what it was that was wrong with her that prevented her from unlocking it but i think we all know it had something to do with her heart not being free until the moment she had the courage to do something brave, dangerous, and important through her own free will- going against the grain, standing up for someone she loved, etc. that's an essay for another time tho. to me that's what makes it so powerful- yeah this (back)story is still a tragedy, but there's hope. she found her own path. she still had to undergo lots of suffering afterwards but she had what she needed to succeed. and she got her happy ending in the end. i probably don't need to explain why that's so meaningful to me as someone who loves her so much and relates too hard. also her dad died (i am NOT wishing that upon my dad to be clear). i mean for her that's a bad thing bc he did regret his actions and never get to apologize to her and she wishes she had gotten to see him again but also that's in the fantasy world where one could reasonably expect their father to change. i've kind of given up on that but maybe someday after we've gotten some distance... idk

in short. botw hits me like a truck with the way it brings you so, so low, in the pits of despair, and then brings you back up. not everything is fixed and perfect at the end, the characters who died stay dead, but they finally get to pass on and rest in peace. we free zelda. we bring back the most significant parts of link's memory. we watch the broken and scattered world begin to grow and breathe again. perfectly cathartic and hopeful and powerful for someone going through such awful things. i'm not out of the woods yet with all my ten thousand problems but i'm in a much better place now. i've typed way too many words here and it's still like not enough to express just how much this game means to me. i could go on forever and ever about the things i find objectively good about this game but this ramble was meant to focus on the subjective meanings i've found within it. breath of the wild has been nothing short of a blessing for me. thank you nintendo, truly.