#which i am actually proud of tbh

[sonicenvy]

so i decided to learn to crochet and my mom and i had an argument about it, which in retrospect was 50% funny and 50% depressing.

i was like just vibing crocheting a shitty scarf as my first project (as one does) and my mom was all like "you're wasting your time doing this and procrastinating on things that you need to do" (sidenote it is like 8:00 PM during this conversation lmao).

im all like "oh? why?" and she goes "well you can just buy a scarf from the store for like $10."

personally i think that this crocheting for me is a lot like pottery in that it is more about the practice of making than about the object itself. i am "getting my hands dirty" with a real, tangible and useful object. this is like the opposite of wasting my time playing video games or dicking around on tumblr dot com or something. i find making stuff and things, especially practical simple items kinda spiritual actually and i feel this sense of connection with the past and with our ancestors when i make stuff. plus when i use a thing that i made in my day to day life, like having a bowl of soup i made from scratch in a simple green bowl that i made with toast i made from bread i made from scratch on simple plate i made i feel things. there's something magical and wonderful about simple useful things and making idk.

that said, like no matter what i said she just ... didn't get it and insisted that doing this is a waste of my time. #momfinallyundestandhobbies2023

we circled around to the "you have nothing to show for yourself despite being out of college for almost 4 years" argument which was fun and the "you did nothing this week".

which. like. i painted 3 doors on monday. i had CANCER removal surgery on tuesday. i went to work for 7 hours on wednesday and taught a group of children how to make paper snowflakes. today i finished some overdue online work training modules, went to the doctor and had blood drawn and then went to the craft store to buy replacement buttons for a dress im rehabing and then went to the grocery. i also worked on figuring out what was wrong with a broken family heirloom camera that i inherited. and i did crochet. so. like. i didn't do nothing this week. sure i slept the back half of the day on tuesday and overslept (in til 9AM) today, but like. i am in a lot of pain (between 5/10 and 6.5/10) from a burned hole in my head with stitches. so uh. yeah.

idk i think that the fact that im not dead (and still employed, if part time) despite months of extreme fatigue and crippling depressive episodes, lots of shitty death and family drama, and oh. yeah. fucking CANCER. TWICE, is actually pretty good. idk. maybe thats just me.

anyways 2021-2022 have been big ass FML years and i just want it to stop. god if you're real you're a bitch.

[saintbleeding]

man since i have had any cats at all i have wanted three cats. and i have three cats. anddddd it rules. and they are all. very healthy and very loved and. what! a blessing. i love u my kitties..........................

[quilleth]

“It was dark, it was cold, and I was scared.  But then I saw the Moon. It was so big, and it was so bright it seemed to chase the darkness away. And when it did, I wasn’t scared anymore.”

Inspired by this gifset/quote, Shang Qinghua as Jack Frost and Mobei Jun as a moon god! SQH trying to figure out how to get closer to this hot mysterious man he sees sometimes when the moon is fullest and he doesn’t feel as scared of everything and why he would possibly help him of all people. MBJ’s appearance changes with the moon’s phases, so SQH can’t recognize him sometimes, but they absolutely met before, during a new moon when SQH helped moon god MBJ out of a sticky situation.  Yes new moon mbj is basically just normal mbj what of it xD

I just realized that i gave SQH frosted tips like what were popular when i was younger because i didn’t want to give him completely white hair like jack frost has in the movie >< Because i wanted it to look frosted over and you usually still see the color of something under the frost

[strawbs-screaming]

looking through my old messages is so traumatizing i want to go back in time and kick myself in the stomach like what possessed you...

[insert-neologism]

bad astrology by flower face

[snow-system-wol]

(A few weeks or longer after the prior little fishing story, though he didn't cut his hair yet here.)

S'ria has been holed up in the kitchen trying to resurrect a faint childhood memory through willpower alone, and G'raha joins him to keep vigil while he works (an act that is surprisingly more intimate than he'd expected).

Ao3

(cw for themes of grief. H/c fluff territory.)

S'ria had been in the kitchen for around four bells now. G'raha didn't know whether it'd be a bit impolite to ask the other Scions what was going on, but they looked as confused as anyone else, so this didn't seem to be normal behavior for him.

He'd snuck in there once everyone had finished eating dinner for the night and had been in there since. G'raha tried to think back (to a lifetime ago) to when he'd first made camp with S'ria at the base of the Crystal Tower. Had he cooked then, or even helped with food preparation? It was somewhat uncomfortable that he couldn't actually recall those details very well.

G'raha watched most of the others filter off to bed, still not having seen S'ria return. He sighed and made his way to the kitchen. It wasn't exactly as if he had any sort of leg to stand on, should he try to convince S'ria to rest and sleep for his own well-being (ugh, he was never going to hear the end of that).

G'raha was good at being quiet, and the many carpeted areas of The Rising Stones made that even easier – but that wasn't the goal right now. He dropped his heels heavily as he walked, lightly nudging a chair or two as he moved past.

If there was one thing he remembered from his first time meeting S'ria, it was that the man does not like to be startled. Amazingly, G'raha's noisy approach didn't seem to have broken S'ria's attention away from whatever he was doing. He knocked on the inside of the door frame before coming any closer, S'ria finally looking up at him.

He looked… exhausted. At some point he'd clearly tied his hair into a bun and tried to pin his bangs back, but most of it had escaped by now. He also looked like he may have been recently crying.

"Let me… let me keep trying, please?"

Gods, it wasn't as though he needed G'raha's permission for that. "Well, 'tis your kitchen, is it not? Far be it from me to stop you." He paused with a tilt of his head. "Do you want me to leave?"

It was a cautiously worded question. Should S'ria want to be alone, he would most likely answer honestly. However, if he'd asked instead whether he wanted company, he worried S'ria would refuse on principle. It was hard to discern the flickers of emotions that passed over S'ria's face, and G'raha didn't even feel he had the level of understanding needed to try.

He eventually shook his head with no further answer – well, if S'ria didn't want him gone, he may as well stay. G'raha retreated to a chair a respectable distance away from him, settling in for what may be a while.

S'ria was muttering to himself at various intervals, but G'raha politely ignored that and focused instead on what he was doing. There were a large amount of containers and components spread across nearly all of the open counter space, carefully labeled. S'ria would heat something up in a tiny pot, add carefully considered bits of things from the counter, taste it, and then immediately dump and rinse the pot. He'd then mark something on a piece of parchment with an awkwardly held quill and immediately restart the process.

At least twice during the time he was there, S'ria sat down on the floor for a few minutes, angrily wiping tears out of his eyes. G'raha had opened his mouth to say something at least, and S'ria had quickly shaken his head, which he took to mean that he wasn't supposed to acknowledge it.

It was nearly three in the morning when S'ria next took a break, this time crossing the kitchen and dropping onto the floor to awkwardly lean against G'raha's shins.

"I'm so close, I know it, it's just… missing something. I hope I bought whatever it is, I just – it's almost right."

G'raha took a deep breath before speaking. "Pray forgive me if this is prying, but what is it that you're attempting?"

"Mm, it's not prying if I dragged you into it." S'ria shifted, letting the back of his head thunk gently against G'raha's knee. "I remembered something today. Just for a moment, just the taste of an all-purpose stew base for making dinner and the faintest memory of helping with it, and… I have to figure it out, because I'm the only one alive who could possibly know." S'ria's voice took on a strange gentle lilt, mimicking a voice half-remembered. "You'll be making this for me someday, pay attention, Ria." He pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his face in his knees. "Ma, I wasn't paying enough attention."

"I–". G'raha cursed his voice for cracking just a little bit. "I do not think that you weren't paying attention. I think that that was just a very long time ago. It's wonderful that you've remembered this much and that you're trying to make it, truly."

"Do you actually think so, or are you just trying to be nice?"

"Yes, I wholeheartedly believe what I said. Wicked White, I barely remember most of my life now, and I supposedly should have access to all of my memories. You're swimming upstream, and I dare say you're getting somewhere despite it."

It was quiet for a few minutes after that. G'raha hoped it was the good kind of rumination, and that he had not said something bad while tired.

S'ria wordlessly hopped back up and returned to his cooking. G'raha returned to his vigil. Well, more like he fell mostly asleep in his chair, but close enough.

G'raha awoke an unknown period of time later to a series of loud clatters. He, upon figuring out where he even was, cracked open one tired eye to see S'ria manically sorting the ingredients on the counters into two groups, scribbling onto the parchment with the speed of a man who worried he may lose his train of thought any second. Eventually he turned around, bright-eyed despite the (unknown) time in the morning, waving G'raha over to join him by the stovetop. There was something in the pot that smelled rich and savory.

"I figured it out, I actually got it right! Would you–". S'ria cut off, suddenly looking very unsure. "...Would you like to try it?"

"Of course, my friend."

S'ria passed him a ladle with a small amount of soup in it and G'raha tried not to be intimidated by how big of a deal this all was. He took a sip. It was fine, it was soup.

Okay, he had to do better than that.

Gods, he'd never been the type to be extremely picky or notice the little things (he used to make do with Archon Loaf, for gods' sake), but he tried to focus on the details. It was rich, the mix of spices was doing something… good?

It wasn't anything earth-shattering or without comparison. Really, it wasn't unlike any other regional recipe, but it was also the most important thing that could possibly exist. There were now two people currently alive in this world that could share this.

S'ria had managed to resurrect something lost to history, handed him a piece of a family recipe. That had to be worth something, worth everything even, right? Certainly worth a night of missing sleep.

It struck G'raha that he should say something, but what was he possibly supposed to say? It's good? That would be woefully insufficient. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, aware that S'ria was looking at him intently as he tried to figure out how to convey his thoughts.

I understand how important this is.

I'm honored that you'd share this with me.

I think it's good, but it would be good even if it was BAD because it's yours and you're letting me try this.

He eventually settled on something. "Could you teach me? If that's alright with you, of course."

S'ria smiled in a way that G'raha wasn't sure he'd ever seen from him and it made his heart kind of skip a beat, and yes, it seemed like he managed to convey what he'd meant in a way that was understood. 

[idsb]

I live in Boston and love it more than anything, so much history, so much culture, very very safe (I’ve never been catcalled ) a great public transit system (which will soon be totally free thanks to our mayor) and accessible to the rest of New England by train so you can leave the city and got to beach or apple picking in the mountains. The winters are tough but they get less bad every year (global warming benefits us some times) and it’s moderately expensive so not as bad as California or New York and equal to DC or Chicago

Omg, idk if you knew I grew up outside of Boston? And this being how I found out Boston is gonna have free public transit is CRAZY?!?!!???!??? That’s fucking amazing and tbh especially with how unreliable the PT was when I lived there that really like, tips the scales back to me thinking it’s decent. Literally amazing utopia shit that makes me wish I hadn’t grown up there so I’d be happy living there lol. I LOVE that for you bestie.

[mummer]

uh oh lol

[vogelmeister]

anyways i saw a video of non dutch people pronouncing dutch names and im proud to announce that two of my characters and one of my coworker's names are there

[backslashdelta]

.

[supercantaloupe]

ao3 stats game

tagged by @malcolm-f-tucker, ty!!

Rules: Give us the links to your wonderful words with the most hits, most kudos, most comments, most bookmarks, most words, and fewest words.

expect this to be skewed towards d20 bc while i haven't written much for that in a while it is easily the biggest fandom i've written anything for

Most hits: The Disappearance of Adaine Abernant - dimension 20 (fantasy high), 2,637 hits

Most kudos: ^, 193 kudos

Most comments: Extra Credit - dimension 20 (fantasy high), 73 comments

Most bookmarks: ^, 54 bookmarks

Most words: Starlight - oklahoma!, currently sitting at 34,091 words.

Fewest words: The Symphony of Hadestown - hadesotwn, 191 words. my first posted fic ever! look at her, she's so tiny, lol. my next shortest clocks in at exactly 400 words longer; even when i'm trying to be brief i tend to go on a bit, haha

i shall tag @tragedyposting @theresa-of-liechtenstein @kingfisherkink @grasslandgirl and @druid-for-hire! idk who else of my mutuals really uses ao3 at all so i'll just leave it there lol

[daffythefox]

^ my tags on a different post wanted to update that they also dmed me asking if i was okay. which means they’ve now triple texted me they’re literally obsessed with me i won the narc crash (is still emotionally devastated)

[astrxealis]

leveilleur twins favorite twins best twins no competition

[muirneach]

just got a reel on instagram that was like ‘why we moved from toronto to calgary: low taxes’ which is already a red flag as is but the poster? JASON KENNEY 🤢🤢

[illithilit]

I have like. Three and a half more muse pages I need to make, and then I am done with the doc overhaul.

[aria0fgold]

I always wondered how anyone was able to write something with more than 5k words when I'd always struggle with it but now with how this mhyk fic is going I'm like: I understand. Also I feel like my writing has improved somehow? Which I'm really REALLY happy for.