#which i guess is fine if all you wanna do is play cr but i just never have time to play it

[krotiation]

So... You still like Cookie Run, whatchu think of the current updates? Or like, what're you into now?

ive been a bit out of the loop since the beginning of the creme republic/sports update so i really have no idea whats been going on lately hakjghskja

as for what im into rn im kinda at a point where i dont have anything that im really hyperfixated on atm 😔 i have been playing a lot of dragon age and fallout recently tho if that counts

[extremelyblackandwhite]

the price of power - 02

pairing: mob boss!sebastian stan x wife!reader

part of handmaid | masterlist

warnings: swearing, mentions of organised crime and violence, arguments

When she was younger, her fears were easily put to rest. The fear of the dark was soothed with a night light in the shape of a teddy bear, the fear of the dentist was solved with a lolly at the end of the appointment, and the fear of growing up was solved as the years progressed. Childhood fears just seemed so small now that she was older and as she looked down at her son who was peacefully sleeping in her arms, she hoped all his fears were small for hers were no longer easily scared off with light and sweets. She knew what came with the job, she knew there was always the possibility of people getting hurt but she never thought about her dad getting hurt. She worried about Sebastian, he was reckless and ruthless in his “business” having no care for what could come his way. He didn’t really fear it so he welcomed any and all possibilities. Her father was calculative, he played it safe so that he was safe. She guessed she had never seen it get bad, she’d never witnessed the frenzied environment so she never thought she’d hear her husband say he’d gotten shot while at a country club in the Hamptons.

      - I’ll take him. - Sebastian sat next to her on the plane, his eyes carrying the same tired, dark bags hers did. - You need to rest, I’ll take Nate for the night. 

      - No. - she mumbled, almost like a petulant child. She felt as if she let go of her baby that she’d break down crying and she didn’t want to break down crying. Not in front of him, not again, not like she always did. 

Other wives didn’t do that. Other woman married to men on his inner circle kept a mature composure which she just couldn’t keep. Gwen had told her she was too emotional many times and she was right. How come she couldn’t put up a front? How come whenever she thought of those words “he’s been shot”, her lip would tremble and she would have to hold her son tighter to keep her from breaking apart. What kind of image was she letting on? Sebastian sighed, moving the seat divider up to he could move in closer to her.

       - Angel, there’s nothing we can go until we get there. I’ll be right here next to you with Nate. I promise I won’t leave while you sleep. 

       - No. - she said once more. - Please let me be, Sebastian. I am fine. 

       - I call bullshit, angel. - he moved the hair out of her face. - I’m your husband. For better or for worse, remember?  

       - I just ... I need to hold Nate, ok? - she softened her voice. She didn’t mean to snap at him, he didn’t deserve her snapping at him. - I’ll get some sleep when we’re there. 

       - Wanna play a game? - he stretched his arms to wrap one around her, a signature smirk gracing his features. Anyone else should always deny him, agreeing to play games with Sebastian Stan never worked in anyone’s favour. However, she was not just “anybody”. She was his wife and possibly the only person whose opinion mattered, she could easily play his game. Just not today, not right now. - C’mon, angel, amuse me. 

      - Whatever it is you’re thinking will trick me into letting go of Nate won’t work.

      - Oh so we’re playing guessing what each other is thinking? Fine. I think the reason you won’t let me take Nate is because you don’t want to cry right now. 

      - I don’t want to cr ...

      - Which is funny because it would be considered normal to cry when one’s father has just been shot. Yet here you are, so strong. - he interrupted her, his tone mockingly teasing her at the end before his face turned serious. - Your dad got shot, no one is gonna say anything if you are upset. 

      - You’re being mean. 

      - I am not being mean. - his hand intertwined with hers. - I know my wife. You see, she happens to be pretty emotional.

Y/N knew she was emotional, she was sensitive. She’d always been comfortable with her emotions yet she couldn’t, at least not as his wife. She was supposed to be strong, to be the kind of woman that was expected to be by his side. Sebastian was tough, it was hard to actually figure out what he was thinking and it was nearly impossible to see what he was feeling. She wondered how it looked when he was so confident, so strong while she was holding and hoping her young son would help her not fall apart. 

      - Said the wrong thing, didn’t I? - he looked over at her, noticing how her features had fallen. Truth was that most of the times Sebastian was unaware of what to say or even what do. - I can’t promise you your dad is gonna be okay but I can promise you no one will hurt our son. 

       - I know, I just ... I need to feel him breathing. 

       - Ok. 

He got up from his seat and Y/N slumped against hers. He’d probably given up on trying to understand her and it wasn’t his fault. She knew communication was key in a relationship but if she were to tell him the issue, he’d just say he didn’t give a fuck what others thought but she did. She didn’t want to make him look weaker by association. Yet, Sebastian returned a few minutes later carrying an airline branded blanket which he draped over her and Nate. He didn’t say anything, instead seating next to her, his hand finding hers. He hoped it would sooth her if he couldn’t. Her eyes focused on his for a while, tiredness weighing her lids down lulled by the sounds of the plane. 

Y/N didn’t like sleeping, there were too many memories which came back to life when she dreamed. Usually she was lucky enough to forget them as she woke up, mere bad moments which were quickly erased. However, this time she wasn’t so lucky. Once she closed her eyes, all she could see was him, Sebastian, laying down on the ground, breathlessness surrounded by a pool of blood. She wanted to scream, she wanted to help but her voice was gone and she couldn’t move. Her heart rate increased and she kept trying to move but she couldn’t move, he was dying in front of her and she was bathed in tears as she tried to help but she couldn’t reach him.

The world came back to her with a gasp as she woke up alert to all her surroundings, finding herself still sat on the plane, this time landed, with the blanket around her. She looked down to her arms, expecting to see her son to convince her that all this memories were but a mere dream, a remnant of bad times, yet he was nowhere to be found. She got up, her hand on her chest as she looked around for her son. No, no, no, no ... 

      - It’s ok, angel. - Sebastian’s hand softly wrapped around her wrist. 

      - Where’s Nate? - she refused to sit back down as the remaining of the people inside the plane were leaving. 

      - Here. - he pulled her back to her seat, nodding with his head towards the baby who was happily awake in his father’s arms. - I didn’t want him to awake you up, angel. 

She sighed, having once again lost herself in the constant fear of losing any of the left over people in her life. 

      - You’re safe. - he reassured her. - I’ll always keep you safe, angel. Remember? It’s just us. 

      - I just need to see my dad. - she looked up, attempting not to start crying. - I need to know he’s ok. 

      - I know, angel. - he kissed her temple and down to her cheek. - I know. 

(...)

She had decided it was best if Nate and Sebastian went to their New York home. Her father did not like Sebastian, he did not approve of his influence on his daughter and he didn’t approve of how he ran his business. Whenever the two were in the same room, it would always end up in a fight, a fight which a recently shot man and a sleep deprived Sebastian would end up in flames. At the same time, Nate was too young to be exposed to any of this. She didn’t want her son exposed to the mafia or any deals, not until he was old enough to make his choices. Additionally, she didn’t think it would be good for a 2 month old to witness a badly beaten man - she didn’t think it was good for her either, yet she found herself being escorted into her childhood home.

Things felt different now. Her childhood home had always brought warm memories of running down the stairs and drawing in walls of hidden places; it brought memories of lullabies and big parties and dinners. Now, she sort of felt uneasy. Lying was always easier when they asked her if she was happy with the position she held. She always said she was happy, she was proud but the truth was something completely different. This house now represented what she was to be someday, it was a real, three dimensional representation of what was expected from her. 

Her strength vanished as she stood in front of the door of her father’s bedroom. Daniel had gone first, he had always been the strongest but she remained there, gathering dust like her childhood toys in the attic, wondering if she could actually do this without crying. The sound of the door opening was the cruel reminder of what awaited her and with a tight smile, Daniel let her into the room. Her father’s room had always been tidy and bright, almost hospital looking in shades of white and grey. The once serene atmosphere was instead heavy as she spotted her dad, laying in bed with his back against the headboard. 

      - Finally someone I want to see. - his voice was heavy but not as it usually was. He sounded tired, worn out. - I was starting to wonder if your husband was gonna let you come visit. 

       - Dad. - she smiled as she held his hand. - How are you?

       - Much better now you’re here, birdie. - he took a good look at his daughter. He spoke to her almost every day but visits weren’t common. Last he saw her, she was the one in a bed, recovering from birth. - Where’s that grandson of mine?

      - Nate’s with his dad. 

      - So your husband came with you, did he? - he sucked his teeth. - Can’t be apart from you for long, can he?

      - He was worried, dad. He didn’t sleep all night and I’m sure he’ll be happy to know you’re well enough to still dislike him. 

      - I’m just happy you’re here. - he smiled. 

      - What happened? I thought you said we were safe. 

      - It’s not important anyways, birdie. We are safe, this was just a fluke. Besides, it’s gonna take much more than a few gunshots to bring me down. They’re gonna have to try harder.

      - I’d rather they not try again. - she crossed her arms. - Do you think you could slow down? Sebastian said you were in critical state when the doctors first saw you.

      - I’m sure your husband would love it if I were in critical state. - he snickered before tightening the hold on his daughter’s hand. - That husband of yours ... worrying my little girl. 

      - I’m always worried about you, dad. I don’t want to lose you.

      - And you’re not gonna lose me, birdie. I promised your mum I would take care of you, didn’t I?

      - I think mum would’ve liked it if you slowed down for once. 

      - I could be persuaded if you brought Nate over. 

      - I’ll bring him tomorrow. - she smiled. - We can have lunch together and I can show you some photos from the last few months. 

He smiled, happy merely to be surrounded by his daughter and grandson. The band around her heart had slightly loosened, allowing some sense of calm as she said her goodbyes, promising to bring Nate the next time she came around. Yet, this house ... this walls, they housed so many expectations. 

      - He needs to slow down. - Dan said as he accompanied out and into the car. - At least until he gets better. 

      - I agree. - she sighed. - But you know him. It’d be easier to move a mountain than to make him change his mind. 

      - You can change his mind. - he shrugged. - Take over him.

      - Over him? 

      - Not forever but until he feels better. I’m sure if he knew you were in charge, he’d rest. 

      - I don’t do that. - she crossed her arms. - We discussed this when I moved to France, I don’t get mixed in dad’s business and I ...

      - You’re already in dad’s business. - he interrupted her. - You’re the one expected to take over and you’re the one who brought the enemies into the home. 

      - What is that supposed to mean? 

      - Until your husband joined the family, we didn’t have enemies. We didn’t have people shooting at us and now dad’s been shot. 

      - You can’t possibly be blaming me for dad being shot. If I knew ...

      - I’m not blaming you. - he interrupted her once more. - I’m blaming your husband. Perhaps if you showed that you’re dedicated to this family and not ...

      - I’m his wife, Dan. I’m just not taking over for dad, we discussed this, for my safety, for Nate’s safety.

      - If you think they’re not gonna start shooting at your son, you’re more naive than you’re letting it on. 

////////////////////////

taglist: @buckysteveloki-me​ @sadbucksblog​

[utilitycaster]

@spiderdreamer-blog replied to your post “The Problem With Canon”:

Oh I wanna hear the CR examples

The ones I have in mind are:

The Lucien novel that just came out; I have yet to see criticism that didn't boil down to "this didn't match my headcanons so it's bad" and like, it's fine if you don't like it, and I don't think it's above criticism (I mean if you follow me in any capacity you will find that I think very little is above criticism, even the things I love), but there was nothing that struck me as out of character or not fitting with existing canon.

The upcoming Nein one-shot; I completely respect being upset that Caduceus won't be there! But it's incorrect to say this is out of character or missing the point of his arc when Caduceus spends the last ten episodes being like "I want to go home, I love you people but I am so tired of this, I wish I had never had to leave, this should have been Calliope's story" to the point of choosing to stay at the Blooming Grove before the rest of the Mighty Nein split up in Nicodranas.

People wanting Calamity to show the Betrayer gods as being ~*complex*~ and the Prime deities as ~*flawed*~ which was just absolutely bizarre, like, we've established, repeatedly, in canon, that the Betrayer gods do in fact want to destroy all people in the world and that Asmodeus will play the wounded gazelle gambit to anyone. Again, fine if you want this, I guess, but that was never canon; you're upset that your personal philosophy isn't being validated.

Percy's depiction in Campaign 3; I am a fan of Percy but if you think he would for one second be generous to a total stranger who could potentially bring back Delilah Briarwood, what precisely are you watching. I think most headcanons of Percy, and to an extent Vox Machina, ignore that they were a remarkably insular and unwelcoming bunch of people.

While the post-hiatus Mighty Nein episodes are part of the same work and are not a sequel/prequel per se, I do think that the long gap between episodes 99 and 100 (and that gap being during lockdown) also means, as many people have pointed out, people watched ship compilation videos on repeat for four months and then got mad that canon was more than a handful of cherrypicked moments.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Penumbra Protégé: Part 1

[Back on the surface]

Branch 2 soldier: AGH!

...!?

*Shuichi is caught off guard, as one of his men suddenly yelps in pain, as the pickaxe he is holding splinters his hand through his gloves.

What’s wrong?

Branch 2 Soldier: Ah, n-nothing sir...It’s fine.

...Alright...If you say so...Don’t push yourself, else you end up like them...

*Shuichi indicates to a pair of guards, who have already passed out from the stress and exhaustion.

Branch 2 Soldier: Y-Yes sir...

Branch 2 Soldier: Are you sure you’re alright? I can get you some plasters if it helps. Maybe some new gloves too?

Branch 2 Soldier: I’m fine. Let’s keep going. I’m sure we’re close.

...Honestly, I don’t know if this is working...

Soldiers: Huh?

We should probably try something else.

Soldiers: ...Yes sir...

???: I have something you can try!

...!?

*The soldiers and Shuichi all suddenly turn around after they hear the familiar voice call out to them. In front of the opening stands a lone figure.

...

Kuripa...!

Listen up. I’m gonna say this once, and I MEAN...once.

Get back to your tents and sleeping quarters right now, or else I’ll DRAG you back by myself.

Soldiers: ...

...

*The soldiers hesitate, look at each other in dismay, then put down their pickaxes and equipment and start to leave.

H-Hey! Wait! You can’t just-!

...!

*Kuripa glares at the soldiers as they pass, prompting them to shuffle a little faster. They disappear into the trees, leaving Shuichi and Kuripa by themselves.

Phew...Good men...At least unlike some people, they listen to reason.

I don’t think you have the right to boss around MY men.

This is for their own damn good, kid. You won’t have any men left if you keep forcing them to work to the bone like this.

I’m not FORCING them to do ANYTHING! I told them explicitly they could bow out at any given time, but they chose to stick with me until YOU showed up and threatened them!

Then I guess it’s a good thing your men fear me more than they respect you, huh?

Grgh!

You don’t have a single clue what it’s like to be a leader like this. Branch 2 are famous for their loyalty. They’ll do whatever’s asked from their superiors, and fight tooth and nail to get the job done. I find that nothing but admirable, and I’m proud of them.

Clearly you realize that fact well enough...

Which is why you decided to take advantage of them, right?

Ah-! N-No, I-

Don’t try to play the innocent one with me.

You were well aware of what you were signing your boys up to, and you KNEW they wouldn’t back down. You were fully aware of the consequences it could have on their health, yet you decided to ignore that part because it was inconvenient.

You’re criticizing me now!? YOU’RE the one who told me that you believed I would make a great Branch Chief! When I was doubting myself, you buttered me up to make me feel better! 

WELL, CLEARLY I WAS WRONG!

!!!??

At the time, when I looked at you, I saw a young man who had the potential to be the Future Foundation’s pinnacle of greatness! Someone who with enough time, could even succeed that of the legends at the top of the chain now.

But now that I see you like this, and see what it is you’ve been doing to your own guys who trust you...I see now that I was wrong...You’re not special...

You’re just a sad...weak...pathetic...little BOY!

...!!!

And I think it’s time that Baby Boy goes to bed, so-

*SMACK!*

!!?

...

Well you know what!? That makes TWO of us!

*Kuripa slowly recoils as Shuichi punches him round the face.

It’s the same for me you know...You were my SENPAI, and I respected the hell out of you! It felt like if me, Kaede, or any of us were ever in trouble, you would come running.

But after everything we’ve been through, I can’t look at you like that anymore. You’re no hero! You’re just a SERIAL KILLER with a HERO COMPLEX!

...

And you wanna know something about most serial killers? They aren’t the spice of life and intricate minds that people think they are. Most people who kill in mass? They’re losers! And that’s all you are! A loser who can’t let go of his past, so don’t you DARE criticize me for my actions!

...

...I’m done talking to you...I’ve got someone I need to save. If you really cared about Kaede, you wouldn’t dare try and stop me like this.

Would it make you feel better if all of this really was my fault?

Huh?

If we’re using your twisted train of logic here, let it be known the only reason why she eventually decided to get me to train her, was because she was abandoned and tortured by Zetsubou, and YOU weren’t there to protect you.

My relationship with Kaede...Isn’t it YOUR fault?

Don’t you DARE pin this crap on me!

I’m not! Just doing what you’re doing. Grasping at straws so I can blame literally anyone other than myself!

...

*Kuripa looks up into the sky.

Criticize me all you want, kid. I know I’m fucked up, and if I could do anything to take it all back, I would, but the whims of fate don’t allow creatures like me to live an easy life...I’ve been like this ever since I was a child...

What are you talking about now?

*sigh* Forget it, you wouldn’t understand. Just know that when you’ve seen the kinds of shit that people like us see over the course of our life, it really changes a man...

Don’t lump me in with you! What I’ve been through and what you’ve been through are totally different!

This isn’t a game of “who’s trauma is the worst” kid-

STOP! CALLING ME! KID! I’m NOT your kid!

...Maybe not...But...You always loved to chase after the truth, right? Well, here’s a truth that might stick with you...

You and I aren’t too different actually. Not just because we both care about Akamatsu, but...we’re wounded in ways that won’t heal until we’re dead...

...

*Shuichi looks down at his gloves palm. His glove is slightly torn from the friction of the pickaxes he was using.

You can pick on me all you want for the decisions I’ve made over my life...and yeah, maybe I AM too hung up on my sister’s untimely death...

*Kuripa takes a deep breath in, then snaps violently towards Shuichi.

But even so...it’s like I told you...SOMEONE has to put these pigs to the slaughter. I will not abide them moving on with their lives and thriving, when all they’ll do is hurt more innocent people like us...

So you couldn’t forgive the people who had gotten away with the slights they had made against you, even going as far as sacrificing your own life and happiness if it means that these sorts of people atone somehow?

Yes...The day my sister died...that was when I started living life with a REAL purpose...

I know FULL WELL it’s not going to bring her back...

But I can’t stand around and take it when I see society’s scum like Gyalusetsu thrive, while the GOOD people DIE and are FORGOTTEN!

The world has NO RIGHT! NO RIGHT AT ALL! To FORGET ABOUT KOTOKO KURAFTO!

And you would continue down this path, even though you KNOW you’re dragging US down with you!?

Me, Kaede, Makoto, Mukuro! EVERYONE you love becomes guilty by association, and are dragged into YOUR conflicts!

So while we’re on the topic of ignoring facts that we find “inconvenient,” how about we remember that YOU still have things to PROTECT! But you wayside it because you can’t let a single death go!

HOW COULD I!? When I’ve killed SO many people already!?

I KNOW that I’ll never be forgiven...And that there’s a special place in hell for me, but you don’t understand! There is no such thing as Time Travel, so even if I wanted to, I can’t turn around and walk all the way back down this bloodstained path I’m on, so all I can do is JUSTIFY it!

Then why do people like us have to go down with you? Don’t dodge my question this time...

...

It’s not like I can help myself...I try not to care, but I get attached without trying. The thing about Akamatsu...and what drew me to her...Is that she automatically sees the good in people...regardless of their background.

Even when she found out that I had a body count, she still had faith in me...She didn’t approve, but she LISTENED. She UNDERSTOOD. She’s someone who I’ve trusted with my deepest darkest secrets, that even a spry young detective like yourself could never get out of me.

So I want you to know, this kind of thing is never going to stop until Organization Zetsubou bleeds; and no matter what you say, I will continue to walk this path, as I have no other choice.

You’re wrong. There is ALWAYS a choice...But you are choosing to make the wrong decisions.

And you’re not? Like you said, people get dragged into my conflicts, but at least I TRY to keep them out!

But you drag innocent soldiers into your own personal grievances. You may be a Branch Chief, but you’re not the only member of the Future Foundation, so word of advice...?

Get off your fucking high horse, BOY...!

...!

Your words mean nothing to me, you Grim Reaper.

Hm?

People do still care about you, even knowing what it is you’ve done. But NO ONE asks you do the things you do and take the lives of people you consider to be “swine.” Maybe they don’t want “revenge” or “justice” but you force that ideal onto people anyway!

From your own twisted view, you think you’re doing people a service by removing these people, because you think that after death, they can’t hurt anyone anymore.

Well, let me tell you this...Junko Enoshima in my home world died many many years ago, at the very beginning of Danganronpa...53 seasons later, and she CONTINUES to have an influence on my world, and morph it into a twisted mess of a society.

So in my eyes? That excuse is a hunk of horsecrap. And all you’re achieving with your murders is dragging innocent people like Kaede into them!

That’s NOT what I want-!

I don’t CARE if it’s not what you want! Whether you accept it or not, it’s happening, and you don’t get to just brush it off like that!

You’re a smart guy Kuripa. You know sooner or later, karma is going to collect the heavy debt you owe it. And the people YOU care about, and those who care about YOU, will face retribution WITH you!

But you don’t give a SHIT about that! Even if people don’t die like Mukuro Ikusaba did, you’d still be leaving a massive mess for everyone else to clean up!

This isn’t a matter of revenge, or justice, or anything of the sort! All you care about, and all you have EVER cared about, is caking your sword with as much bastard blood as you can, and YOU COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES!

YOU’RE a psychotic murderer, plain and simple! So WHY DID IKUSABA HAVE TO BE THE ONE THAT PAID THE PRICE!?

!!!??

Yeah...It doesn’t feel good bringing that up, but you’ve left me with no choice...

Be honest with me...Would you even be able to look her in the eye if you ever met with her in the afterlife?

...I already told you...There’s a special place in the underworld for me, and it’s far away from her...

But to answer your question...I doubt it...The guilt of knowing she sacrificed herself to protect me is something I’ll carry forever, just like I carry the guilt of not being able to save Kotoko.

This again? *sigh* This is pointless.

*Shuichi starts to march away.

Thanks for wasting my time. I’m gonna go find my men and bring them back here. They might fear you, but I don’t...

So don’t get in my way this time, hypocrite. You’re too late to save anyone who you lost, but I can still save Kaede, so back off.

...

...

*grab*

Huh?

*KERRR-WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!*

BUHAAAAAHAAGH!

*CRASH!* *SMASH!* *SLAM!* *CRASH!*

GAGH! UGH! DAAHAGH! BAGH! RUGH! UHUUAGH!

*Out of nowhere, Kuripa grabs Shuichi by the shoulder, yanks him back, and punches him dead in the face! Shuichi goes flying, and crashes through several trees, until he collapses on the ground and rolls helplessly on the floor!

Ugh...! *COUGH!* *SPLUTTER!* *SPLUTTER!* Grgh?

...

*Kuripa approaches Shuichi menacingly, the tip of his blade leaving a mark in the ground.

I really thought we could just talk it out as two helpless souls, kid. But you can’t just spout BS like that and demand that I stop what I’m doing...

So...let’s settle this the only surefire way I know how...!

*He points his blade at Shuichi. The detective scrambles to his feet, grabbing a pistol in a holder on his waist.

So what!? You’re just gonna murder me too!? Tie up any loose ends that interfere with your so-called “justice!?”

It’s not murder! It’s well deserved PUNISHMENT! And if you can’t tell the difference...

YOU CAN GO TO HEEEEEEEELLLL!!!

RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!!

///SHUICHI SAIHARA VS KURIPA KURAFTO!!!///

[jennifersminds]

Elejah MasterFic-List

Yall this got so long you’re welcome 🍒 – smut ☁️ - fluff

wanna say a HUGE thank you to every one of these authors for the fantastic fics you’ve written. If any of you see this and either don’t wanna be on it or would like me to tag you in this just let me know x 

plus if anyone has/knows a fic they'd like me to add to this feel free to comment :)

ALSO Update from like a few weeks later! I have been and will be adding to this as more fics get posted/ I find more :)

One shots

Elskede by blanketspace

Elskede; it means Beloved. Prompt: Someone isn't up on recent last century happenings so when they come across a Petrova doppelganger a few decades after all the Mystic Falls stuff has ended they grab Elena (who's still a vampire, because reasons) and bring her to the Mikaelsons hoping for a reward. Elijah is amused but angry. His siblings are way more than amused. And Elena's just pissed off. (LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic, come back to it atleast once a month. Peak characterisation imo) sorta 🍒

Step One by Tayleeb “I can help you, Elena. But you need to be certain you want my help.” // Post 4x21. Stefan called Elijah to compel Elena's humanity on. When it's no longer necessary, he offers to help her deal with the emotional fallout of turning her humanity back on. (SO hot omg, reread this an unhealthy amount)

distressing damsels by ribbons-blue Because of course rescuing Elena Gilbert from the clutches of a power-hungry vampire wouldn't be as simple a task as it first appeared. Elijah doesn't know why he ever thought otherwise. [Elijah x Elena] Season 2 (elena is so cute in this fic and elijahs reactions to her are hilarious)☁️

perception by ribbons-blue The night Elijah rescues Elena from his sister…and the many pairs of eyes that observe. [Elijah x Elena] Episode 3x14

The Sound of Rain by destinoscelgo 

In the midst of a storm, Elena's fear of bad weather gives Elena a sensory overload and she needs to distract herself from the hurricane. One Shot/Elejah 🍒

Silence Is A Virtue by Turtle_Goose

A small smile was playing about Elijah's face and there was mischief in his eyes. "I am perfectly capable of being silent," he said in a low voice. He moved fast, picking her up and depositing her on his large bed with the barest rustle of fabric. "Are you?" One Shot. Complete (I’ve read this a sinful amount of times)🍒

Mahogany by giraffelove92

"The wood of her kitchen table was a dark, finished wood, smooth under his hands; he guessed mahogany, a common enough wood nowadays. In the years of his youth and for centuries thereafter, he remembered, it had been a rarity: a fine wood from worlds away that only the noblest lords and ladies could afford to import." Elejah. Smut. 🍒

Code » by Readergirl37 

About the times Elijah and Elena used code.

of people and places » by the queen of slurking 

in which elena and enzo are stuck in the cell. or, how you come to rely on the one other person around you. AU after 5x10. (adore this fic, elena and enzo could have been a really fun friendship plus I’ll never not like seeing elena interact with the entire mikaelson family in a non-murder way, I also think this fic does a really good job at establishing elena’s place in the tragedy that was her teen life)

Nothing Better Than Blindness by TheCivilState 

Elijah has always been able to tell the dopplegangers apart

I’m banking on the fables, far better things we do by agirlwithacoin "I'm not human anymore", she couldn't stop herself from grieving the loss of her humanity when she's in front of him

It's Not Easy Having Yourself a Good Time by Rashaka 

What if this whole time Elena was never actually paying attention to events in Mystic Falls, just nodding and saying "uh-huh" while secretly thinking about marshmallows. Crack!Fic with the Originals (this is the funniest tvd fic I’ve ever read, oblivious-quasi valley girl elena is so fun and as an established dumb bitch I can relate)

Seriously? by Readergirl37 

A fic where Elena is done everybody's crap and is brutally honest. Crack fic Elijah/Elen

The Pomegranate by BumbleMumbbleJimJams 

They go to a fancy restaurant to catch up. Elena orders a pomegranate, Elijah orders wine. 🍒

Blood Atones for Betrayal by TallyKayda 

When Elijah finds out about the possibilty of Elena having been turned, he decides to return to Mystic Falls regardless of the consequences only to find the rumors true and Elena stronger than ever, if slightly angry. 🍒

The Fables of the better things we do by agirlwithacoin

 It seems like it might take years to clean everything out; the expulsion of her insides is a painful process, and she's not sure how long she languishes in shock and pain and bitterness, but the calendar feels like a liar-there ought to be a healing process, even if she itches to rip off the scab and be done with it.

Let me in by agirlwithacoin Later, much later, after his blood comes back under his control, Elijah will admit to himself, however uncharacteristic such an admittance is, that this was not at all how he had expected his night to go. 🍒

Come in by agirlwithacoin  

The entirety of their relationship can probably be summarized at least partially into the number of times that she's wondered if he was going to kiss her 🍒 (hawttttt omg I love this one so much)

Temper Management by Symbioticdeath

 He rarely asked for this. And later, in the darkest hours before morning, Elena would allow herself to wonder what made him want it this time. (sub-elijah is something I didn’t know I needed, plus established relationship elejah which I love) 🍒

what elena wants, elena gets  by Merkanzee Elena has always been better at being honest with what she wants and she wants Elijah. Elijah's not complaining. The girl has no idea how much he desires her. 🍒

Keen by giraffelove92 

"She glanced at the sword one last time, remembering its keen edge hewing through flesh and bone. Bile rose once again in her throat, and she shoved it down. The blade glimmered in the light, mocking her." Next to him, the sharp blade seems mild in comparison. Elejah. Smut. 🍒

Leave Out All the Rest by Cherazz After being daggered yet again, Elijah is trapped within his dreams, where he faces an incredible amount of not only torment, but pleasure as well. But what is real and what isn’t? And does he ever truly wake up at all? 🍒

Old Friends and Helpful Elevators by Terapsina “Thanks.” She flashes a polite but absent smile in the general direction of the person that waited for her as she joins them in the elevator, eyes still on her phone typing a message to Mandy to tell her she’ll be there in a minute. “My pleasure, Elena.” Answers the voice from her past. /or/ Years after their last meeting Elena and Elijah run into each other in an elevator which immediately breaks down.

kiss, taste, smile by Terapsina As her lips meet the line of Elijah's throat, she can't help remembering that it's not a new fancy she's indulging. She'd thought of this when she'd been human too. The collar of his shirt framing his throat, pulling Elena's eye, making the tips of her fingers itch to run over the expensive material and graze against skin.

throw your life away by Anonymous She's had him dead in her cellar for fifty-six years 🍒

Aurora by lit_chick08 Elijah only wants to be helpful kinda 🍒

It's Personal by @missnmikealson Blood Sharing is a personal thing. She never understood how personal until she journeyed to New Orleans. (I’d say a reread this too much but that'd be a lie because its amazing) 🍒

Call me Angel by @missnmikealson She forgot his new assistant, who happened to be a shameless flirt, had never met her. Instead of correcting the woman she goes along with it. 🍒

Garden Party by @missnmikealson Elena and Elijah arrive late to a garden party together and everyone assumes that they have finally gotten together. ☁️🍒

When She Drinks by MayContainBees He closed his eyes and couldn’t believe this was his life. (this fic does bash Hayley which I disagree with because I love her and contrary to this fic rec post I do like haylijah but the elejah moments are so cute and the writings great)

you swallowed everything by magisterequitum He'd dreamed of her once when he was shut away in a coffin that smelled of oak and linen. Disappointment in her eyes and he wants to leave a ring of bruises along her collarbone. Purple kisses to mar her skin and give her something else to look at him for.

we're painted red by magisterequitum "You just can't stay away," she says and wipes the blood from her dinner from wet slick lips.

and miles yet to go by magisterequitum mystic falls burns. they drive.

One Letter at a Time by Terapsina Elijah intervenes and rescues Elena from the hands of Stefan and Damon after 4x21. He finds a new way of dealing with her that has unexpected results. ☁️

as they lay dying by youngerdrgrey s3!AU. There are consequences to killing Klaus that they don't predict, like Damon dying, or Stefan going off the deep end, or Elena taking off on the first train out of Mystic Falls. But she's not alone. Our favorite Original is right next to her. E/E

and you were singing me by magisterequitum she finds another way; she finds again her best weapon. (S4 AU where Elena finds someone else to help her with the sire bond; warnings for consent issues that go with the sire bond, and character death) (any fic that delves into the consent issues of the sire bond and just tvd in general >>>)

Ash by readergirl37 Elena thinks Jeremy is dead, Damon turned off her emotions and no one's home. Someone stops her from burning it all down. Rated M for mentioned past sexual assault. (similar too above – amazing fic, Damon bashing excellence)

Orkney by Albion19 Elijah offers to help Elena change her nightmares into dreams. A nostalgic look back at the past and more ensues. Post 3x12. Elejah

we shall always be by magisterquitum

the lockwood's host their annual masquerade dance, and both of them deserve the night off. 🍒

Valkyrja by sybioticdeath

“Looks like it’s a Gilbert thing.”

Elena tried her hardest to resist the urge to murder her brother. She’d read somewhere it was called The Cain Instinct, though according to Urban Dictionary it was more the urge to hit your sibling. She loved Jeremy, but there were times when she wanted to choke him till he turned blue.

I’m not your daydream by me lmao

“Can’t you hear its heartbeat?” she can feel it, sometimes louder than her own.

“I can hear yours.”

or

Elena aborts a miracle baby and Elijah pays for breakfast.

Multi-chapter

Complete

The Golden Arrow by Toriblue Never let it be said that Elijah is predictable. The last thing she ever expected was a formal goodbye...especially one that included words like 'always and forever'. 🍒 (I am absolutely obsessed with everything Toriblue wrote for elejah, they’re characterisation of both characters is so good and the way she writes their negation-esque banter is so perfect)

Paid in Full by Toriblue Elena Gilbert is much more interesting as a vampire. Before being turned, she was on the path to sweater sets & PTA meetings. Rebekah did her a favor when she forced her to a watery grave. Not that Elijah would ever appreciate that observation. - Kol/Elena, Elijah/Elena 🍒

Light Years Apart » by AuroraSpace 

Elijah's thoughts were not completely on his conversation with Davina in Sinners and Saints. And how a certain witch decides that Elijah deserves everything he yearns for. 🍒

Lost by @missnmikealson She has no words to describe the freedom of abandoned humanity. All she knows is she’s never going back to the way things used to be. No sir… never. Never, ever ever. Never! (you’re going to see missnmikaelson on here a lot and that’s because they’ve literally wrote so much and its all amazing – also this fic is everything no humanity elena is a national treasure and the elejah dynamic in this is 👌🏻)

Unobtainable by @missnmikealson Everyone has the first words their soulmate will say to them somewhere on their body. Elena had always thought hers were strange. After all what else was there besides human?

Liaison by Albion19 Prophetic dreams of destruction and hope overshadow Mystic Falls. It all starts with Elijah turning up on Elena's doorstep with an unpleasant request. Elejah. AU.

Dream to Feel by Albion19 After the kiss Elena has a slow dawning revelation about Elijah. Set after 4x18. Elejah.

Desert Rain » by Slayer2003

"It would be rude of me to refuse that which is offered freely." A darker take on Elijah and Elena post 4x18. Now complete. 🍒

impulse » by ribbons-blue 

The foundation of their relationship was built on a precipice, wavering between intimacy and the fear of pursuing it /Or, Five times Elijah wished to kiss Elena, and the one time he finally does. [Elijah x Elena]

(okay these are technically one shots but they’re a series so I’m putting them here)

actions speak louder than words by Merkanzee Elijah and Elena's reunion after he left four years ago. They are above words and their bond is almost instinctual, but sometimes, it's nice to hear the truth out loud

what's best for you, what's best for me?  by Merkanzee A prequel of sorts to "actions speak louder than words". Elijah's POV. His journey from guilt to peace, from denying him of his love to not being able to let go. Can be a standalone, but makes more sense read with the first one as there are references.

don't leave me behind by Merkanzee

The third part of my Elejah series. Follows "actions speak louder than words" and "what's best for you, what's best for me?" Elejah and Stefan/Elena/Damon friendship. Can be a standalone, but makes more sense read with the others.

and so we go circles by Merkanzee

The next part of my Elejah series. Can be a standalone, but it makes more sense if read after the others. Elijah and Elena come full circle after Elijah learns what he wants to do is sometimes what he should do. Elijah finally grants himself some peace.

(end first series)

this is not the path I wanted us to take by Merkanzee 

Elijah, post 3x22. Elijah facing the knowledge that both his brother and the woman he loves are dead. Even the most stoic of men have something valueable to lose.

time has brought your heart to me by Merkanzee

A follow up to "this is not the path I wanted us to take", but can be read separately. Elijah is there to help Elena transition into her new life, knowing that his purpose will eventually come to an end. Elena isn't so sure.

you are my family by Merkanzee

you can't abandon family. klaus just wants her to understand what that means. it's not convenient and easy and you can't be indecisive when it comes those you love. he is not damon or stefan. he is elijah and she doesn't need time to decide on what to do. follow up to "time has brought your heart to me".

(okay that’s that – great series, interesting dynamics)

Monster and the Martyr by Bitumz 

Their meeting had been spelled in stone a thousand years ago, destined to happen through a series of trials and tribulations that did nothing but create an unseverable bond between them though they had been created solely to tear them both apart. Elena/Elijah centric. Slight AU. (NOW COMPLETE!)

Who Are You? by @missnmikealson She had always wanted to go through the proper motions of an introduction, but she had never thought he would be the one asking her that question.

A Friend Like Me by @missnmikealson "Women can have casual relationships." "Women Yes, you... no... you're not the casual type... you're the girlfriend type." It's probably going to blow up in their faces. It will definitely end badly, but the middle would be awesome. A/H SMUT 🍒

Three Deep Breaths by @missnmikealson "I think I'd remember having a baby." Elena doesn't know what to think when the Original's find themselves in possession of her baby. A baby that has yet to be conceived. All she knows is that she loves this little one, but if she goes on to have her does that mean she is going to give up on the one vampire she actually considered a future with? 🍒

Making Amends series by WinterElle

Making Amends by Alternate Universe, Post Season 3, Episode 15. Life has settled again into a hopeful peace. Elena has worked hard for normalcy and the right to move on with her life. But before she does, she has to make peace with a betrayal that weighs on her conscience. Elejah.

Leaving One shot. After years of living together as a couple, tensions build for Elijah and Elena as he finds her wordlessly packing her things. Follow up to Making Amends.

Dying to Live The love between Elena and Elijah carried them through seven blissful years together. Now, everything has changed, unforeseen challenges around every corner of what has become a fresh life. Elejah

Only and Always Continuing story of Elena and Elijah following Dying to Live. AU Elejah

A Force of Nature 5th installment of AU Elejah that began with Making Amends. Unresolved issues and new challenges arise for the family Elena and Elijah have forged, even as it grows.

Point Blank Range In the AU created with Making Amends, Klaus and Milla work through the complications created by combining their lives. For Elena and Elijah, a dark specter looms.

In Good Conscience In the universe created with the first story in this series, Making Amends, the family find themselves facing a villain unlike anything they've ever faced. Damon finds himself the target of an unexpected enemy while the entire group plans for a wedding.

(End series)

realised i forgot this when i first made this list which is a tragedy!!! dating to married elejah in canonverse is a dream. and they’re literally so cute.

Family Business series by Turtle_Goose The only way the Originals can survive Esther's ritual is to drink from Elena. Luckily for them, Elena has a plan. The only hitch is that it gets a bit more sexual than any of them intended. (elena with all the originals, exclusive elejah after the first chapter but still super cute) 🍒

Better Than One by @missnmikealson Elena is not happy about her new home, she us unhappy with her forced engagement, but she vows to go through with it because it is the choice that has been made for her in this world where women have no voice of their own. That is until the princes return and she gets to know one of them; her heart which had grown as cold as the winter snow begins to melt.

Dream a New Dream by ElijahsElena When figure skater, Elena Gilbert, had her human life stripped away, she found herself forced to survive her father's lab, then something worse, until she found herself wanting to give up. Until something happened, and maybe, a certain Original can help her find a new dream to dream. Eventual 🍒 r*pe TW

In-progress

i have fault lines in my bones by buries @finnicks Elena's told herself she's content with her decision to die, but Elijah has other plans. This time, he's going to succeed in saving the doppelgänger. 2x19 au. (absolutely OBSESSED with this, amazing smut AND in depth charcter analysis, probably one of my favourite fics so far and has been recently updated:) 🍒

This fic is also a follow up to 2 oneshots i don’t have time to die by buries Elena's willing to do anything to earn Elijah's trust. AU on 2x19 when Elena pulls the dagger out.🍒

time is eternity by buries Elijah's lips remain curved upward. "I’ve considered your proposal from the other day," he says. He keeps his hands on the bed, the only casual part of his posture. "And I don’t accept." Heart pounding fearfully in her chest, her brows furrow as she stares at him blankly. "You don’t accept what?" "Your apology," he says. His gaze drops to her bare legs before he peers up at her again, his lips in a serious line. "I don’t accept your apology for daggering me. It was cruel and it ruined one of my favourite suits." Arching her brow, Elena looks at him in amusement. "You’re kidding." "I’m not." — Elijah visits Elena late at night to punish her for daggering him. 🍒

A Year to Eternity? by @missnmikealson Original vampires, malicious witches, lost supernaturals, missing memories and ancient curses… it’s just another year in the life for Elena Gilbert. Never mind the fact that she was supposed to be done with Originals and malicious witches and all the rest. She could have been done, but being done required saying no and saying no was not an option. There was too much to lose. Picking up in 5x12 of the Originals.

The Elixer That Renews by Toriblue

"She's so tempting with her soft cheeks and liquid eyes. His brother will defile every inch - nothing left but soft cheeks and liquid eyes."

(THIS FIC!! this fucking fic. unfortunatly unfinished but AMAZING! I said before this author really captures elejah’s banter and thats especially done in this fic, its so hot and i absolutely love elenas relationship with the mikaelson family.)🍒

Strong, Ageless, Fearless by  @missnmikealson Sequel to Three Deep Breaths Klaus is thrilled when Caroline agrees to give him a chance. Elijah is less than thrilled when a witch lures his brother to NOLA a few days before his daughters birthday. Title might change. This story will follow the first season of the Originals as it would follow after the birth of Miranda. More characters will probably be added later as I go along. 🍒

Begin Again by ElijahsElena Her life with the vampires was nothing more than a misfiring of brain cells while in a coma... Or was it? What if she had truly lived that life, then died, and was brought back? What if she had been given a chance to change things? Just how different would her life be? 🍒

boom, boom, boom of your heart by  @alllwritenow Elena Gilbert, successful author, has a menacing individual stalking her every move and delivering cryptic threats via bloodstained notes. Tired of living her life in fear, she hires Elijah Mikaelson, professional security expert, to find and eliminate the threat.

blame it on the stardust by  @alllwritenow A doppelganger is more than a sacrifice, more than the echo of a spell, more than a copy of a copy of a copy of a person. Elena is more than a pretty face and a kind heart. They all were. They always will be. (Elijah actually hasn’t shown up in this fic yet but its so amazing I just had to put it here, Salvatore antis and Elena apologists gather for the best tvd rewrite character study fic ever, plus it really delves into the lore of the doppelgangers in a way the show wasn’t smart enough too)

We Remain by AnonymousObsesser “I missed you,” he murmured. She opened her mouth to return his sentiment, expression already shifting into that perfect Katherine attitude, but her throat closed around the words. She couldn’t close the door fast enough. 

Deal  by Readergirl37 Elena Gilbert makes a deal with an ancient god of death. She hadn't expected him to be so nice. Mythology AU Elejah. Fix it fic.

plastic crown by noimkillingboys (me<3)

She leaves Rebekah with a note and an instruction, Rebekah hands her the keys to a car. A large sleek black thing that isn’t hers to give. She’s unconcerned. He won’t mind.

Later - on the floor of her new apartment, she’ll wonder what the point was.

~~

Elena runs away to vegas after getting her humanity back. Existential crisis insue.

what did you bury? by noimkillingboys (still me)

She wants to, in a way. Wants to bury herself in the ground, deep in the woods he’d once walked her through and wait for him to dig her out. He would.

She can picture it, jacket discarded, dirt under his nails- the desperation he quietly saves for her.

tagging people that commented on my post about making this - @make-things-make-sense @paperlessbook

[atalana]

[copied over from my cr blog, also this is gonna get long, i’d apologise but im not sorry]

okay, so

this is a rant probably about 7 years in the making, bc when i first watched lok i had not done any music study, i had not done any composing of my own, my knowledge of music theory was at a primary school level and i still thought tv soundtracks were just made by one person composing a whole cache of music and then the audio editors pick and choose what track to place where

(spoiler alert that’s not how film and tv scoring works, i have now done a music composition course where we had to score a short film, among other things, and i have so much more respect for tv composers jesus christ)

but this one stuck out to me even way back then, bc me barely knowing what a leitmotif was was like “hey this one little refrain keeps popping up whenever bolin does lavabending, and i like it, i’m gonna see if it’s on the soundtrack”

it was not, and that’s sort of where i left it back in 2014, but i actually did a rewatch of lok pretty recently out of nostalgia, and then noticed it even more

and to explain why (and this is also a little bit why five’s stuck out to me in tua, i’ll get to that in another ask), let’s cover, leitmotifs, and tv scoring in general

so a leitmotif is basically just a short musical idea that represents something in a piece of music. when i studied motivic development we were encouraged to make that motif four notes or less, and then develop it into something longer (aka a theme), because if you can constantly come back to a really short idea while keeping the piece moving, that’s what makes a piece of music memorable

(you can ignore those rules on purpose but that’s a different essay)

so the most common way that a leitmotif shows up in soundtracks is to represent a character or a location - you play the motif when that character shows up or when you’re in that location and boom, the audience associates that motif with that person place or thing, and you can then use this to tell the audience things without actually telling them. for example, star wars playing the imperial march whenever someone does something darth vader related - darth vader isn’t on screen, but you can feel his presence, because his music is playing

and if we were a film score, where we have two hours to show one particular character’s development, great! we give them a simple motif, and then as they grow as a person we change their motif to reflect what is happening to them, until we end up with something that communicates on a subconscious level how much they’ve grown. we toss in as much symbolism as we can, and we have a really great soundtrack that’s instantly memorable

tv scoring, is harder. partially because of time constraints (have you ever composed half an hour of original music a week, and had to make sure it fits perfectly with every beat of what’s happening on screen? these guys have), partially because there’s a much larger focus on ensemble casts

so what atla and lok do, for the most part, is not score individual character motifs for everyone. this is fairly common in tv soundtracks, instead we score ideas, concepts, and feelings - these’ll come up a lot more and give you more information than just “oh hey this character’s on screen”

the avatar state, for example, has the strongest and most recognisable theme across both shows. i’m linking an atla track in here because it has the best example but you’ll know this shows up with korra too - and with particularly important moments for wan, for kyoshi, etc. they also appear in the opening of both shows, four strong notes that start and end on the same note (in the case of what i’m linking, it’s an F#)

the first part of this track is the more uncertain, pensive theme that comes up when both avatars are feeling doubt/worry/sadness, but then it transitions into the more recognisable four. worth noting though, those are both basically the same motif. if i write them out back to back, you’ll notice they both have four notes and start and end on F#. if i had to guess, four notes four elements, and it comes back to the start because the avatar is a cycle.

korra has a theme for when she’s fighting, but not an individual character theme. the airbenders as a concept have a theme, republic city has thematic instruments, as do some big name characters, like iroh and his tsungi horn (this is also a cross-series thing, he’s always playing it in atla, it shows up when zuko has to make big moral decisions, and when we first meet iroh in the spirit world in lok, it shows up there too, to let the audience know who this is before we properly see him)

so, if korra doesn’t get a single theme and instead has several for different aspects of her life, and mako and asami follow along with the mood of the story like all the other characters, the fact that bolin has a personal leitmotif at all, let alone a solid, developing one, is pretty remarkable!

now, granted, it mostly starts with book 3, before then he was like every other character, but it has clear symbolism through those last two books! and, initially i thought it was related only to his lavabending, since that’s most of when it shows up, but since my rewatch, i’ve started calling it his hero theme

see, when people wanna criticise mako and bolin, usually the comments they get are that bolin’s too immature and mako’s too serious/uptight. but like, that’s how they work, you can’t analyse either of them without the context of the other. since they were little kids on the streets, bolin chases his heart and mako makes sure they don’t die from it, that is their entire childhood. and neither would have got here on their own because mako wouldn’t take the necessary risks and bolin wouldn’t take the necessary precautions. (like. remove either one from the equation and they’d still be working for the triple threats bc s1 and their flashback miniseries make pretty clear that bolin got them out and mako kept them out)

and then book 2 proves it! because it splits team avatar up, and what happens? bolin is totally taken advantage of by varrick and used as a pawn in his evil plan and mako ends up in jail

so what’s book 3, to them? it’s, being able to find themselves without having that codependency. mako no longer has someone to protect, which is what he’s based his whole life around so far - bolin’s doing fine and he’s no longer dating either korra or asami. and bolin’s trying his hand at some of that responsibility (look at how he immediately adopts kai who is explicitly them but younger because he wants to be the older brother for once). most importantly, they find the rest of their family, and stop being defined by being orphans. they don’t have to be that singular piece of a puzzle, they can just be themselves. and that’s where bolin’s character really starts to shine, because that’s when they bring in the bending plot, and bending, perhaps more than any other character, really gets to the heart of who bolin is

if you want more of my thoughts on that i have an essay here, but tl;dr: bolin’s an extremely powerful earthbender, but he’s not a metalbender because metalbending requires you to double down on the earth characteristics and think like an earthbender, and bolin doesn’t, he’s too fluid for that, which is one of his major strengths, so of course he can lavabend

and finally - to his motif itself! (as a note, i’ve put all of these in the same key to show where it repeats, but there’s a variety of keys used in the show)

as far as i can find, it first shows up in s3e8, when bolin stuns p’li with this well placed shot

[Edit: it first showed up in the s2 finale, but again in a simplified version and again with him doing something heroic with earthbending, so we can still start the analysis here]

mako volunteers bolin for that job, because he knew bolin was capable of it. why? because bolin landed an identical shot earlier in the episode, after trying to metalbend, getting frustrated he can’t, and cheating with some extremely well aimed earthbending. it’s just a short refrain and you barely notice it, but it’s the first connection of this motif with the theme of bolin’s bending

it looks like this, and it’s always played on a trumpet, which is part of why i call it the hero theme, because, if you’re looking at music from a western perspective, trumpets were used to herald kings, and then used to represent military glory, and then when superhero themes started happening, they used trumpets too - it’s basically western music shorthand for hero these days

(it’s also symmetrical so that helps with the good vibes)

and he’s saving everyone here, so it’s linked to his bending, but it’s also linked to his heroism

it ties the two together, and they are tied together.

when’s the next time it shows up? episode 10, when the brothers are in prison in ba sing se, and bolin tries to metalbend them out. again, he’s doing this to save people, and this motif gets a few notes added on to the end in a raising pattern - they’re inspiring, but they don’t go anywhere. which is exactly what happens in the scene, because he’s trying to go about this in the wrong way. mako believes in him, but it won’t (and doesn’t) work

it appears in episode 12 when bolin saves everyone from ghazan destroying the temple, in a more fancy orchestral remake of the first version - it’s impressive, but it hasn’t actually developed yet, it’s just his discovery of it

the book 3 finale already has its own fucking amazing soundtrack, i love that entire episode’s score, but it gets its own moment there too, and the first real development!

because what we hear is not what we’ve heard before. we know it’s the same theme, because it’s using those signature trumpets, but it’s the second part of this phrase, the answer to the question supplied by the first one. why? because bolin’s figured out who he is and he’s starting to use it. it still hasn’t settled yet though, it’s early days and he’s still just turning ghazan’s lava back on him, so again, it raises, leaving it on a question mark

it doesn’t appear in s4e7 when he lavabends as a warning against the escaped prisoners, because he’s using it as a threat, not to help people. but it does later in the episode when he uses lavabending to save them from kuvira. and that’s when we get the first full phrase, question and answer

it keeps the first motif identical, takes out the first note of the second, and ties them together - except now it’s not open ended, now it knows where it’s going - it’s been three years, at this point bolin is confident in both himself and his bending

and then that phrase appears all over the place in the finale, because all bolin does is save people - everyone from the exploding building, he slows the giant mecha with lavabending, he saves opal, he slows the giant mecha again by collapsing a building on it, and most importantly, he’s the one rescuing his brother this time, instead of the other way around (though that one doesn’t get a motif appearance bc admittedly a fuck ton of other things are happening in the soundtrack at the time)

so to that question asked in book three - who is bolin when not next to someone else? well, funnily enough, we saw it in book two as well, just in a warped way, playing nuktuk. it just wasn’t truly him because it was created by varrick, and he needed to get away from varrick too. the question put forward by the narrative is who is bolin, and the answer given by the music is, he is a hero. and i don’t know why bolin is the only one to get a theme like this, but i think it may have something to do with the fact that, while everyone in team avatar has been a hero and saved people, he is the only one who has, from the start, solely been motivated by wanting to help people. he follows his heart, and his heart cares, about everyone. it’s been the driving force behind almost everything he’s ever done. and i love him so much

[tundrainafrica]

Title: Christmas Eve

Summary: Toru goes out at midnight in the dead of winter to experience her first white Christmas and Kyo gets a little worried. 

Part one of my present to @hizashi-yamadas for the Animanga Secret Santa 2020

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Other One Shots:

December 25: Christmas Day (Haru x Rin)

December 26: The Day after Christmas (Arisa x Kureno)

Note: Merry Christmas Elisha and I hope you enjoy! Keep your eyes out for the next installment :D

"You didn't have to stay in, you know."

Toru jumped, once again becoming aware of her surroundings. She had to look back at the clock by the mantle to see how long she had been staring out the window.

"No, I'm happy to stay in!" Toru hoped that saying it out loud would be enough to quell that knot of disappointment in her stomach which only tightened as she looked back at Kyo who was curled up under the kotatsu.

She looked down at Kyo right next to her who was looking more like a cat as he was curled up into a ball under two blankets of the kotatsu. Toru only had to hover her hand lightly over his forehead to feel warmth radiating from it. What alarmed Toru more though was how indifferent he was to her touch.

"Maybe we should see a doctor."

"It's just… really cold…" Kyo answered in between shivers.

Of course it's cold. They were in the northernmost region of Japan in the middle of winter.

It was Momiji who had suggested they spend Christmas in Hokkaido. He first gushed about it one lunch time in late fall and how he hadn't seen one since the last time he'd been to Germany for winter almost a decade ago. When the young blond pitched the plan when he visited their house a week after, Shigure was quick to approve.

Christmases in Tokyo are cold. The trees are bare. The sky is almost always dark, the atmosphere grim. The only things which made the scenery any better were the giant Christmas trees in malls and the Christmas lights that lined the streets.

Tokyo was too near the ocean though to get any snow so early in winter. Having spent every single Christmas in Tokyo, Toru had never experienced a white Christmas in her life. Snow usually came in January or February in Tokyo if they ever got any. They rarely piled up enough though to classify as a white landscape, similar to those she had seen in the figurines at Christmas shops.

Hokkaido was different. The snow piled up by the foot. They were like added decoration, complementing the Christmas lights which shine much brighter against the pure white landscape.

While she kept Kyo company, she entertained herself by watching the colors dance on the roofs, shining for a split second longer than what her eyes had gotten used to watching the Christmas lights on the streets of Tokyo as a child.

Yellow. Green. Red. Blue.

It alternated between the four colors. By the third time, she should have known what to expect. The contrast of the bright lights against the white landscape and the dark night, had only made the colors stand out more. The flashes were brighter and at times, Toru could pick out the small moments where the flashes of red would mix with those of green that had yet to fade.

"I'm sorry for doing something stupid like that, getting sick…" Kyo held the blanket tighter over his mouth. “And now you’re stuck here with me.

Toru noticed a slight blush and wondered if it was from embarrassment at losing to Yuki or the fever that followed being buried in the snow after their fight.

"No! I don't have to be outside every Christmas. Besides it's warm here and if we watch some Christmas specials, we could still get into the atmosphere of Christmas." Toru turned on the television.

“We are now at Odori Park for the Christmas market!”

That’s where Yuki and the others went. Toru thought to herself. She entertained herself by turning her watching TV into a game, challenging herself to maybe find Yuki, Momiji, Shigure or Hatori among the crowd. Do I get bonus points if I find them? Toru thought to herself playfully.

“Looks like a lot of people visiting are couples! Christmas is a time for couples to spread the love after all!” The host walked deeper into the crowd. “Excuse me, may I ask a few questions?”

“Sure!” A girl who looked to be college age answered. Next to her, was a slightly taller, college aged boy.

“Are you locals?”

The girl shook her head. “No, we’re from Chiba.”

“Wow that’s cool! What brings you to Hokkaido?”

The girl looked at the boy next to her and blushed. “It was a surprise actually.”

“It’s our five year anniversary.” The boy chimed in. “And Yuka has never experienced a white christmas.”

“How’s your first white Christmas then?” The reporter turned to Yuka.

“It’s a dream come true.”

The girl’s cheeks turned a little redder, maybe from the biting cold or the questions. As her eyes glimmered when she spoke, Toru guessed it was the latter.

It’s a dream come true. The wonder in her eyes and the words that followed only reminded Toru of herself and another dream she had had decades ago.   

                                   Christmas Eve                                                      

Along Hibiya park, there was an old man who sold figurine parts of a Christmas town, all displayed on a table for everyone to see. Every year since before she could even comprehend the commute to the center of Tokyo, Toru had always rushed to that small shop on the corner of the market with a frazzled Kyoko trailing behind.

At the start of the morning, it was saturated — or rather to Toru, it was complete. A complete replica of the bustling Christmas market in her daydreams and the fairy tales her mother told her about.

The frozen lake with people gliding on top, the children engaging in snowball fights with snow forts twice their size and to the right of it a miniature version of the Christmas market, a more rustic version at least and a snowier version.

It was only a few years after she started to visit the small shop did she start to go back multiple times a day. First, the shoe shop disappeared, then the bakery then the rink.  For a six year old, it was oddly depressing to see the town dwindle into just a few figurines of people walking through. Toru would find herself crying on the way home that night.

Frosty the snowman is gone!

There are no more children playing in the sleds.

How will Santa give the gifts!

It must have been just unintelligible babble to her mother then. On their way home though from the market, as they stepped out of the train and out into the dark streets of their small suburban neighborhood, her mother hugged her tight.

Frosty is fine.

Santa is fine.

Children will still be playing on the sled next year.

Somehow, the conversation had evolved into a little planning. “Let’s go see a Christmas Market like that together Toru! With the frozen like and the snow forts and the sleds.”

They would go through pictures and videos of the towns in Finland, Germany, France, and even in nearby Hokkaido.

“I’ll make sure to save some funds. Maybe we can try for Hokkaido next year?”

Next year never came. There was always something more important than a winter vacation to spend on — electricity, textbooks, hospital bills, house repairs. As Toru grew older she had to forget that dream herself as the reality dawned on her that a single mother and high school dropout was in no position to ever dream of a profound of an experience as travel.

That same dream Toru had forgotten so many years ago made itself known again, manifesting as an ache in her chest and a small tear as she looked out the window the eve of December 24th.

I’ve never had a White Christmas myself. Her mother had mentioned then, as they looked through albums of winter landscapes and Christmas Markets.

Even for just a second. I have to do it. When would she be able to do it again? Life had disappointed her multiple times already. At that moment, it was right in front of her already and Toru was determined to make it come true then.

“Kyo, I’m going to go out for a while if that’s okay?” She went for her coat. “I just need to see something for my mother.”

“Your mother?” Kyo shifted his gaze from the television to her.

“I wanna experience a White Christmas for her.”

“Hey, I’ll come with you.” Kyo offered as he pushed himself out of his comfortable position under the kotatsu.

“You don’t have a coat though,” Toru said looking pointedly at the coat that was still hanging next to the heater to dry. Kyo had soiled his only coat, having been buried in the snow after his fight with Toru.  

“Yeah...” Kyo grimaced

Toru took a peek at her phone while she readied her boots

11:00

“I’ll be back in an hour.” She assured Kyo. Just one white christmas. The next few words were for herself.

Momiji had picked a strategic place to rent a house in Sapporo. The Christmas Market was only a ten minute walk away.

Koibito Park. Lover’s Park. Toru had made sure to google the place before going there. It had a bustling market, not as busy as Odori but enough for Toru to be able to appreciate the festive mood.

As she took in the snow lined roofs, the Christmas lights and the crowds of people bundled up in their own coats, Toru was starting to feel like one of the figurines walking through the Christmas Market in that winter wonderland she’d play with as a kid. Just like what she had imagined, there was a skating rink to the side, a bakery stall,  a cart selling chestnuts and a small German stall selling sausages and spiced wine.

Toru did not need to buy anything, completely satisfied already by the variety of scents — a mixture of cinnamon, apples and bread — wafting through the air. She had closed her eyes for a second as she focused all her senses on that small yet comforting sign that Christmas was nearing.

People were starting to talk about it too. As Toru made her way through the crowds she could hear conversations of Christmas wishes.

What’s your Christmas wish?

Kiss me under the mistletoe? A joke referencing a familiar song Kyoko had sung to her before.

I love you.

Somehow that was what made Toru freeze on the spot. Koibito Park, Lovers Park. Toru found herself looking at the crowd around her.

I’m used to this. I’ve spent new years alone already. This shouldn’t be a big thing. It could have been from instinct but Toru ended up navigating more quickly out of the crowds and into a less saturated part of the market. And to the corner was a little market with a few tiny figurines, all arranged in a little Christmas market.

The six year old in Toru was crying again.

It had been more than a decade since then but Toru found herself walking away farther and farther and into the almost empty back entrance of the market. She quickly wiped away the tears that she had formed and mustered up the biggest smile.

Why am I crying? The atmosphere around the Christmas town is not something you see everyday! You have to enjoy it! Toru scolded herself. As she peeked back around the corner and back at the park, she could not help but put a hand over her stomach, placating the knot that had built up there. Most of the couples were still walking around, some families were carrying sleeping children on their backs --- a sign that it was pretty late already.  

She had spent the past few Christmases in the Soma household over home cooked dinners she had prepared. Years before that, she had spent it with her mother over take out from the nearest fast food chain and Christmas specials.

That was the first time she was counting down alone. She had her white Christmas and she was alone.

From Toru's position behind the park, she could still see some of the Christmas decorations bright across the white landscape. The houses that lined the street had roofs decorated with actual snow.

Just like in the Christmas market figurines she and her mother would admire. Just like in the fairytales her mother would share. Just like in the pictures she and her would look through.  

"Merry Christmas mom," Toru whispered to herself. Admiring the view at least, she remembered why she had decided to make that journey in the first place. "It's a White Christmas."

Toru found herself smiling like she always did, overcompensating for that little something that was missing. Like how the Christmas market wouldn't have even the Christmas market without the people, the view in front of her was not a view without someone to share it with.

Toru looked back at her phone. Ten minutes until midnight. So it wasn't even Christmas yet. Toru made sure to circle around the outskirts of the Christmas market on the way back. She had told herself it was so she wouldn't have a bother to anyone. Deep inside her though, she knew that walking through there would probably make her feel lonelier than she would have been walking along an almost empty street.

The path less taken turned out to be the better choice.

As she made a turn towards the entrance of the park, she made eye contact with those orange eyes she had come to know so well.

"Kyo!"

Kyo was bundled up in a scarf, a beanie and a buttoned down coat that Toru was sure he did not own.

"Merry christmas."

Kyo's scarf was covering much of his lower face. Toru could see though with the way his cheeks rose, the pink in them becoming a little more distinct that he could possibly be smiling.

Either way, she was committed to return his smile with one ten times wider. "Merry Christmas.

As if by magic, the melancholic atmosphere of a while ago dissipated. Toru was finally able to realize the festive mood she had been willing herself to enjoy the past hour.

"Let's go through the market?"

"You're sick though?" Toru put her hand to his forehead.

"It's a cold. I've had worse." Kyo took her hand from its place on his forehead and pulled her into the park. "Besides, it's not everyday you get a white Christmas."

Somehow, the Christmas market started to have a little more color. The lights were a little brighter and being guided through the crowds of people was more exciting than perplexing.

"You want anything to eat?" Kyo asked as soon as they had arrived towards the end of the main path.

Toru's mind was elsewhere. The corner with the stall which sold christmas figurines was almost empty. A few stalls, a few stores and the only human figurines left were a couple on a bench.

Oddly enough, Toru was not fighting back tears. She wasn't lonely. She wasn't empathizing with figurines in an empty Christmas village.

They aren't alone.

"Last one left," The stall owner said.

It was only then did Toru realize she had brought her hand out to touch the figurine. As she looked closer she realized that the boy and the girl were one figurine, molded together and onto the bench below it. "This is so cute!" Toru chimed excitedly, as she ran her hand through the simple yet well placed patterns that made up the lovers on the bench.

"Good thing I prepared a lot of these. It's popular with couples. Christmas is your favorite time after all."

"Our favorite time?" Toru repeated.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Kyo answered the question.

The stall owner grinned. "I hope you're able to have a fun one then. Christmas is a day for lovers."

It had dawned on Toru then, the implications of his statement. She could feel the blood rush to her face, she looked away, completely torn between hiding the truth, consequently lying and correcting him, risking embarrassing him in the process.

"Hey let's go."

Toru realized then that she had spent more than a few minutes pondering that thought a few feet away from the stall.

Kyo guided her back out of the park and as she looked back, she could see the stall owner grinning and waving goodbye.

"Merry Christmas." Kyo pressed the handle of a Christmas bag on her open hand as they made their way out of the park.

Toru peeked inside to see the last remaining Christmas figurine from the stall inside. "This is for me?"

"Who else?"

“You didn’t have to… Really…” Toru tapped at her coat pockets, trying to remember where she had placed her wallet. She started to scramble after a while, her movements a little more chaotic. She dug towards one of the jacket pockets only for it to fall out as she pulled out her hand.

Kyo bent down to get it even before she could move from her spot. “You didn’t have to stay behind either but you did.” He pressed the wallet on her palm. “Besides, you had this goofy smile when you were staring at it. I’d feel bad if I didn’t.”

“I don’t even have a gift yet.” Toru looked away in embarrassment. In fact, she did have the gifts, she had just completely forgotten to take it with her when they were preparing for their trip.

“Just take care of it.” Kyo pulled the scarf further up his face and dug his hands into the coat pocket. “Let’s get back home.” Kyo started to walk a little faster.

Toru found herself trailing behind him. The coat Kyo was wearing started to become a little more recognizable as they reached a part of the streets dotted with more street lights. A blue buttoned down coat that fell too neatly towards the ground, uncharacteristic of Kyo. Toru was aware as well that only one person among them packed an extra winter coat for a two night trip.

“Are you wearing Yuki’s extra coat?”

Kyo didn't look back. “It was the only one I could find at short notice.”

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

Nico and Poppy from Kamen Rider Ex-Aid, R. Uhhhm, not as a pairing, though

R is for respite

Nico wakes up to the sound of Taiga and some woman arguing in the doorway of her room.

Her first, bleary thought is, what’s Taiga doing in my room? Next, once she recognizes the woman’s voice, is, what’s Poppy doing in my room? And then, when the sleep begins to clear away from her eyes and she realizes that she’s been using one of her nursing textbooks as a pillow, am I not in my room?

She sits up, wincing at the ache in her neck, and Poppy cuts off in the middle of, “--just because you live on protein bars and energy drinks doesn’t mean she can--Nico! You’re awake!”

Nico nods with difficulty. She’s not in her room, she’s in Taiga’s little office at the clinic, and she’s face-down in a textbook because she was up until four in the morning studying for an exam. “What time is it?”

“Noon,” Taiga says shortly.

“Shit, I’m late for class--”

“On Sunday.”

“Oh.”

“You see, she doesn’t even know what day it is.” Poppy looks angry. Nico’s seen her look angry before, but it’s always sort of weird with her pink hair and cutesy outfit. “You’re her doctor, you’re supposed to notice when she’s running herself ragged.”

Taiga glances over at Nico, and she almost sticks her tongue out at him, but she doesn’t because of how visibly guilty and uncomfortable he looks. “I’m an oncologist, not a general practitioner.” He shrinks slightly under Poppy’s glare, and now Nico does giggle, it’s so rare to see him looking cowed. “But I should have noticed, yes. I’m sorry,” to Nico, “I should have made sure you were sleeping enough.”

“You don’t sleep enough either.” Nico gets up, wincing. “I’m your nurse, I should be getting on your case about that.” Poppy makes a worried noise, and Nico shrugs. “He has nightmares.”

Poppy nods, looking sad. “There’s a lot of that going around, isn’t there? I’d probably have them too if I slept.” And then she brightens. “But. For right now! You’re going to go put your books away and we’re going to have a girls day!”

Nico blinks. “We’re going to what?”

“You know, where we get our nails done and go shopping and get, um. Ice cream or something? And sometimes there’s karaoke?” Poppy frowns thoughtfully. “I’ve never actually had a girls day, but I’m pretty sure that’s how they’re supposed to work.”

Taiga puts a hand over his mouth, and Nico, at least, can tell that it’s because he’s trying very hard not to start laughing. She grins and starts gathering her books and papers. “I’ve never had one either, but I guess I can give it a shot. Can a Bugster get a manicure?”

“I don’t know, but that’s no reason not to try, right?”

--

As it turns out, Bugsters can’t get their nails trimmed, because their nails don’t grow, but they can get them painted. Poppy and Nico pick out a color together, an eye-searing shade of neon green that matches Nico’s shirt. While the technicians are working on Nico’s nails, Poppy says, “So how are nursing classes going?”

“They’re fine. It’s not too hard, I was a little surprised.”

“Yeah! It’s not a terribly difficult course if you’ve got a knack for it. Of course, I took an accelerated program because of my,” Poppy glances around, “special circumstances, you know, but I liked it!”

“Wait, you actually took a nursing course? I thought it was just a front.”

“Of course! I needed to at least know the basics to help out in the CR.”

“Did you study...here?”

“You mean as opposed to digitally? Oh, I did all in-person classes. You know, so it wouldn’t look funny.”

Nico frowns. “I guess that makes sense.”

--

Shopping turns out to be a bust, because Poppy can change her clothes whenever she feels like it and Nico’s never liked trying things on in public fitting rooms, but frozen yogurt definitely works. In fact, frozen yogurt’s incredibly fun, given how much time they spend trying to outdo each other with the extravagant toppings they pick out. Of course that means both their portions are very heavy by the time they’re done, and the bill comes out to nearly three thousand yen, but then the weather’s so they can sit down outside with their gummy bear and cereal-laden dishes. Nico takes a bite, makes a face--gummy bears don’t really make a great frozen yogurt topping--and then blinks. “Thank you for covering this, by the way.”

Poppy beams at her. “Sure! The Ministry of Health pays me pretty well, but I never know what to do with it, you know, since I don’t actually need to buy anything and I’ve got my cabinet to live in.”

“I guess that makes sense. I haven’t done a tournament in a while, so most of my money’s kinda tied up in investments. Like, I get a monthly payment from them, the guy at the bank helped me with it, but I should probably go kick some butt at Dead Or Alive or something sometime soon.” Nico takes another bite. “I kinda miss tournaments, anyway...wait, maybe this is super rude but how do you have a bank account?”

Poppy makes a delighted noise and produces her little pink wallet from...somewhere. “The Ministry of Health helped get my legal identity in order, they were really nice about it.” She opens the wallet. “I even have a driver’s license, see?”

“Wait, you can drive?”

“Yeah! Mostly I don’t, but I can.” The wallet goes away again. “Also apparently it was super super helpful that they did it for me because then they had all the procedures in place already, they had to do it again for some guy over in Tokyo a couple of years ago.”

“There’s another Bugster working for the Ministry of Health?”

“No, he was working with the police. And he wasn’t a Bugster, I think he was some kind of robot.”

“Wow, ok, that’s wild.” Nico takes a third bite. “This is actually...really bad, I’m never getting gummy bears on this again.”

Poppy frowns, takes a bite of her own--which is covered in fruit boba and coconut shreds and a different kind of cereal--and makes a face. “You’re pight. This was a perrible pidea.”

There’s a long moment, and then Nico breaks into hysterical giggles. “It’s kind of nice,” she gasps, “being worried about something normal for once, isn’t it?”

--

In the booth at the karaoke place, Poppy sings all the bounciest songs available, and then sits and stares in shock as Nico wails her way through the loudest metal track they’ve got. After two songs her throat is sore, and she sits down on the couch with a thump. “Ow.” Her voice comes out in a croak. “I haven’t done that in ages.”

“That was loud.”

“Yeah, if I’ve been practicing I can get even louder.” Nico grins and then drains a glass of water.

“Wanna do a song together?”

“...sure?”

They spend a few minutes flipping through the binder with the song listings, trying to find something they can agree on. Then, though, Poppy elbows Nico gently, a sly smile on her face. “So. Any boys in your life lately?”

Nico groans. “Nope. Too busy with school.”

“Not even Parad?”

Nico feels her face go hot. “I--what? Parad? No. Did he say something about me?”

“He said you’ve been playing Street Fighter with him a lot.”

“Just, just online, because I can’t sleep sometimes.” Nico curses internally as her ears warm up. “I beat him a couple of times the other night, that was pretty cool. I--what’s that look, don’t look at me like that.” She hides her face in her hands.

Poppy continues to give her the look. “You like him, don’t you.”

She sputters, scrambles for her phone, and sends a text to Taiga, [poppy is cyberbullying me], to which he responds with an entirely heartless series of emojis, and then, [good].

Poppy, looking over her shoulder, makes an indignant noise. “I’m not--I’m pight pere, pow pan I pe pyberbullying pou?”

“You’re a cyber person, all the bullying you do is cyberbullying.“

“Oh, you little--I am not--” Poppy frowns. “You know, though, that does make sense. Sort of. Ooh, I think I know this song, we could do this one.”

Nico squints at the page. “Sure, yeah, I know that one.”

--

They get out of the karaoke place in time to go get noodles for dinner, and near the end of the meal Nico pauses over the last of her meal and says, “This is. This has been. Really nice. Thanks, Poppy.”

Poppy beams at her. “You’re very welcome! Thank you! I don’t get to do normal things a lot, I’ve enjoyed spending time with you!”

Despite herself, Nico grins. “When do any of us ever get to do normal stuff?” She pauses. “I’m an only kid, but I think if I had a big sister it’d be nice if she was like you.”

Poppy turns bright pink and makes a delighted squealing noise. “I can be your sister if you like, I’d love to be someone’s sister.”

Nico holds out her fist across the table, and Poppy shyly bumps knuckles with her before making another delighted noise.

On their way back to the clinic, though, Nico stops on the sidewalk and says, “If we’re sisters you can’t ask me more weird stuff about Parad, though.”

Poppy giggles. “Actually I’m pretty sure sisters are supposed to do exactly that. I think maybe I have to ask you about boys you like.”

“He is not a boy I like. He’s, he’s weird, and he’s too tall, and he’s got his whole weird psychic connection with M or whatever, and--”

“And you like him.”

“I do not!”

[syncogon]

sad only 480p version this time, and delayed. oh well, temptation too strong, and clips on the weibo looked promising, so let’s go

mjy sighhh i guess he’s just dumb not malicious but man

“the truth isn’t important” glasses shing. oh wow that hair swish tho that was like unnecessarily well animated hahaha

iiiii just want jhx to tell off yy!! i think that’d be great, what a faceslap! also wtf is this thing? iron supplements?? a spray? icy-hot? 铁打损伤喷雾?? god i spent like five minutes trying to mouse-trace those characters and i still don’t know if this is supposed to be significant or if it’s just significant that jhx caught yy doing shady shit 

anyway given music / context it seems jhx is annoyed at what yy is doing? so yay friggin finally. “our classes aren’t at nanhua” nice 

“xu-da” vs “xu-ge” hmm. anyway jhx don’t fall for the lies. jhx is like sx, annoying and chuuni but probably isn’t as obnoxiously awful as he first appears... probably.... maybe. 

goddd sucks that the full version of this op is kinda weird, because i LOVE this op so much like holy crap. jiyi bei yingfu huanxing.... 

man now im like stressed about the yf at the airport scene. trailer showed an airport. what’s gonna happennn

this exchange about dd feels so weird like it sounds like ctg is trying to explain they’re not in any pre-relationship or smth but maggie is like “i don’t mind” in a way that makes it sound like she wouldn’t mind if they’re together? what??? but whatever

ok i really enjoy this cr/yf dynamic. like i feel like it’s a bit ooc and yf as portrayed here is maybe too far on the acquiescence but also it’s really funny and sparks joy for me so i’ll buy it. i’m happy to see like established relationship stuff i think bc i generally don’t in the stuff i watch. speaking of which i’m super glad that they didn’t make the awful dumb move of trying to insert like Another wack love triangle drama dynamic thing in this like the fans want yecong and tianmai!!

wowwww it’s so nice how supportive cr is being tho like i love to see it!

handholding!! soft!! nice inversion of the earlier part where cr is bandaging his fingers. but like -

WHY DOES SHE HAVE MARKS/CALLUSES ON HER THUMB AND NOT HER PINKY??? like ok i have not played ukelele but i sure have my own share of stringed instrument finger calluses and you don’t?? press on the string with your thumb???

still, they’re trying, it’s a cute detail, i appreciate it. i liked that one wwgk review i watched yesterday that pointed out s1 was like a coming of age story disguised as a music story, whereas s2 is like a real music story.... 

wait this is incredibly cute wtf. oh my god. 

YF SIGHED/FACEPALMED AT THAT? COME ON!! WTF THAT’S SO RUDE? THAT WAS ACTUALLY LIKE PRETTY GOOD?? AND SHE DID THIS JUST FOR YOU? like maybe not performance ready but bro she’s learned for two days!! also holy shit the strumming animation is really good for smth like this im impressed! that reminds me of the like actually legit violin animation they showed in the trailer yo im so ready 

like i totally understand the frustration (damn, maggie’s face... 3 free performances? really?) but also i feel SO BAD FOR CR HERE this is so awkward oh my godddd at least ctg like tries to apologize to her (and cr’s reaction to this whole thing is also v solid, good for her) but still like damn 

aww ahh man im glad maggie still like! supports encourages cr here! that’s also char dev being able to like get past her own complicated emotions at least for this sort of gesture 

awwww i also like seeing maggie’s coping, the happiness philosophy i always thought that was super interesting. she’s a great char! and i think running is good

animators animate a girl running normally challenge

oh nice you have to walk a bit after sprinting, good

the train track scenes are so pretty wahhh 

does... does the track just end there? what

the ~significance~ of maggie now sharing this piece of her that used to be a yf thing, with ctg 

also excellent bgm - oh omg it’s og soul link remix!!! 

“i don’t want you to go” 

MY GOD HE’S FINALLY MAKING A REAL MOVE. and one based in real friendship. GOD FUCKING FINALLY CTG AAAAAA she’s cryyying man this exchange is also pretty cute ngl 

i can’t believe they figured this out a full 4 episodes before the finale 

this is so pretty here wahhhhhh i wanna ss the whole thing in 1080p 

awhhhhhh

they never released pink twilight shanghai!! i want this ver!!! 

aww yayyy open still cheering her on - YF BE NICE TO YOUR GF COME ON

haha this is like reverse of cr tutoring him - WAIT YEAH YF YOU WERE A SHITTY ASS STUDENT COMPARED TO HER BE EXTRA NICE 

also remixed dream i dig it! sounds like new lyrics? 

julliard hahahaha

dong dong goddess

HAHAHA did dd just steal ctg’s fries

ctg: expressing some deep thoughts

me: just watching dd

“forever confident, forever happy” 

wait sooooooo are they a thing now or what did that count as a confession

“and qing’er is finally here” WHAT’S THE TEAAAAA WE STILL DON’T REALLY KNOW

“im a guitarist this is fine” YOU GO DD I LOVE YOU 

BEACH EPISODE BEACH EPISODE BEACH EPISODE 

omg oyzq. you’d think they were trying to extort a confession from him. what the hell is this instrument he said what is a xiao 箫. A WOODEN FLUTE? YOOO THAT’S COOL my god PLEASE let us get some kickass trad/modern fusion music im so ready 

“i trust ouyang” ahhh double char surnames are cool

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK

“because i’m about to have surgery on my knee” REALLY? REALLY? IS THIS REALLY HOW YOU’RE GOING TO JUSTIFY ALL THIS? FOLKS I AM LOSING MY SHIT I HAVEN’T LAUGHED OUT LOUD LIKE THIS IN SO LONG

ok this is interesting tho he’s not a dick for the hell of it it’s out of desperation or smth. but like half a year, oh no, what a horror. (i’m fresh out of hb feels ok you shaddap // tho i can also imagine the knife, like in lotus bloom, where they didn’t think szp’s injury was permanent). tho i do also like the “then we’ll be seniors we won’t have time to perform” but also that’s just a reminder that all of these ppl are like frigging 16 year olds and i still cannot take this seriously

i like “i didn’t expect, that i couldn’t give you the confidence to win”. god im so glad this confrontation is happening. man this feels like a wrap up already are they really spending all 3 last episodes on the competition? what’s the story gonna be? 

feel like he’d be less ugly with hairstyle that looked more consistently like this. anyway sucks that both of them are so ugly otherwise there’s some nice sun/moon (+stars?) imagery you can get going here

GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT 

pretty! i wanna save this hq

it’s this bgm!!! godd i just want this track so bad

an empty beach?? in china near shanghai??? 

anyway ahhh it’s the iconic beach shot! i like how the promo ver cuts out dd lmfao

wow nine episodes in and cookie finally gets a character moment??? cookieeeeeeee i missed you

ok i can’t ship them he calls her shifu but also THIS IS SUCH A CUTE FRIENDSHIP calling every day 10 minutes?? wow!! i love dongdong and i love cookie. also this hits different in covid times “no one says that we can’t be friends because of distance” 

oh i guess they are pushing this as a ship. meh.

wahhhhh. need this hq then i have more propic material. 

HE HAS COVID 

ah lang is VIBING oh to be the ah lang of my own life. parasurfing. walking into poles. 

wow this is so modern! the red bag thing! wow i do love this show flexing the modern-ness 

this is the mercedes benz arena im SURE of it ahhhh holy crap this crowd. oh to be in a crowd without mask

IT’S THIS DUDE AGAIN like the trailer spoiled this but if i found out this right here right now i would’ve lost my shit my god hahhaah

im like torn about how i feel about cr’s dress like idk if it fits her well even if it’s pretty

:<

oh im scared i hope this doesn’t become embarrassing 

:0

OMG THEY INCLUDED PENCIL SKETCH OF THAT S1 SCENE. HAHAHA. char growth yayyyyy

ok anyway im happy!! spent like an hour watching this or something lmao but good times!! much better than last ep HAHA yayyy im so glad we’re finally at the comp and lots of these little things have been tied up now im ready for new song drops!!!

[kaimcclains]

the last time (’cause i could never say no to you)

“I’d prefer to keep this to ourselves for now! I mean, wow that sounds bad, but I just don’t wanna share y-”

“It���s okay, I get it!” Adam flashes what he hopes is a convincing grin. So Kai didn’t want Mira to know he was bisexual/pansexual/a different sexuality Kai hadn’t specified, but he’s hedging his bet on bisexuality. That’s fine. He’s not fond of the excitement that washes over him at the thought of Kai trusting Adam with a secret.

He can definitely say he isn’t a fan either of how Kai smiled at him like he hung the stars in the sky or a euphemism equally as ridiculous.

Nothing prepares him for when Kai laces his fingers securely through Adam’s, and the way he beams at the ground from beneath his red fringe like nothing else exists.

-

In which Kai believes he's being obvious, Adam pines ridiculously hard, and Mira is a good and patient friend. Also known as the "didn't know we were dating" fic.

“Was it something you’ve always known, or something you picked up?” Adam asks curiously, absent-mindedly stirring a finger in the dirt below him. Kai’s seated a few inches away, elbows propped up on his knees as he stares at the sky. Mira’s resorted herself to making small talk with Benjamin and Benjamini, once it was apparent to her that Adam was off in his own little world with Kai (and who was she to deny him of talking to his oh-so-obvious crush?)

“I don’t know where I got it from. It’s similar to walking, you’ve kind of always assumed you can do it without any thought or anything.” Kai replies. He rubs the back of his arm sheepishly, eyes finding themselves splayed to the length of Adam’s side profile. “Nothing to write home about.”

“Seriously? I know I couldn’t figure out how to fix an entire space ship just at first glance!” He also wants to tack on a question - Why are you always doubting yourself? - but with Kai’s volatile nature, Adam’s sure he would’ve managed to piss the guy off.

They find themselves in that cycle a lot. Kai and Adam are friendly towards each other, making Adam think he might have finally gotten through the younger boy’s barriers, and then Adam says something wrong and he loses whatever semblance of friendship he had gained. It frustrates him to no end, but Kai likely isn’t even aware of it. Kai isn’t aware of a lot of things.

“It’s seriously nothing,” Kai says quickly before Adam can have a chance to interject and protest. “Wanna see something cool though?”

He extends a hand out to Adam, and together they walk to one of the broken-down rollercoasters. Adam’s not actually sure what is supposed to be happening, but he’s not one to complain. Kai voluntarily spending time with him is a concept unheard of until now and he doesn’t want to ruin it.

Kai sits, motioning for Adam to do the same. “See, there’s a part of this that connects to one of the ejectors from the ship you crashed-” he pauses to glare at Adam, cracking a smile once he sees how spooked the other boy looks. “I’m just playing, man. Anyway, I think-”

Adam stops paying attention. The beaming sun that had been relentlessly shining upon their group isn’t doing much for him in terms of comfort, and although he enjoys any moments he can get alone with Kai, he’d much rather like to sit in the shade, preferably under the merry-go-round or in the forest around them. Anything to escape this heat.

“Sorry, is there a point of chilling right in the middle of all this sunshine? I swear my insides are overheating.” Adam complains. Kai conjures some fire, which manifests quickly on his fists and seriously-? Not helping at all.

“Maybe I can beat up the sun,” says Kai with that cocky grin of his that makes Adam’s knees buckle a little. “I guess we’d have to be closer to do that though.”

“Closer?”

Kai’s invading his space in the blink of an eye. He has an arm secured around Adam’s middle before he can process what exactly is happening, breath coming out in short puffs on Adam’s collarbone. Adam wraps his own arms around the other boy’s shoulders, too scared to do anything else.

“Kinda like this,” he replies quietly against Adam’s neck. He shivers.

And then Adam can’t feel the ground beneath him. What he can feel is the flickering embers radiating from Kai’s fingers licking at his legs. Dazedly, he wonders if he’s in heaven or hell right now.

“You can open your eyes, dude.”

He almost doesn’t want to because there is a very possible chance he passed out earlier and this is just one of the many bizarre dreams he’s had the pleasure of dreaming lately. They all start and end with shadowy figures drifting inexplicably out of sight in the corner of his vision, and an outstretched pale hand, but Adam has always been too afraid to grab it.

Despite there being no point for doing so, he eventually listens to Kai and cracks a hesitant eye open. They’re well above the specks of trees below, and what Adam believes is the fairground. “Wow, this is incredible,” he breathes out.

Kai seems to grip onto him a bit tighter, but maybe he’s imagining that.

“I was practicing how to fly earlier, it could be useful for later,” Kai explains as if it’s the most casual thing in the world that he not only knows how to control fire, but knows how to fly with it. Adam would point it out if he knew it wasn’t going to result in a petty five-minute argument that usually ends in Kai downplaying the compliment repeatedly while Adam grows more and more frustrated.

“I’m uh, impressed,” he says in an attempt to banish the period of uncomfortable silence they were encroaching the territory of.

He probably imagines the slight red flush that tinges Kai’s cheeks as he smiles at him too. It’s soft and fond enough to have Adam hurriedly breaking eye contact with him to instead focus on the gentle treetops whizzing behind them.

“Did-” Adam’s voice cracks - oh god, why did it do that - “Did you show Mira yet?” Because what Adam doesn’t get, is why Kai would rather show his frenemy-at-best his newfound flight ability when he could have shown off to his crush instead.

“No, why would I?” Kai sounds genuinely confused like he can’t possibly fathom what Adam is hinting towards. Adam considers himself a fairly straight-forward dude most of the time, and Mira has never complained in regards to any communication issues, so he only shrugs. Kai will understand, he just needs a minute.

He does.

“I’m not into Mira, you know,” he states lowly. Kai has got to quit using that voice, it never fails to nearly launch Adam into cardiac arrest. “I think-” Kai coughs. “I’m more into someone else, actually,” His voice raises a few octaves, to the point where Adam winces.

“Cool,” Adam can hear himself reply distantly. “You should tell her.” Who else can it be but the other lovely lady they had encountered, Vanessa? Adam would’ve thought he’d move on from someone who manipulated him quite thoroughly, but he knows first hand how cruel love can be.

“Him.” Kai coughs again, dipping low enough in flight that Adam can nudge the tips of his sneakers through a couple of sparsely interlocked branches.

“You- oh. Um, that’s cool! Great!” Adam says intelligently. He doesn’t want to ponder the intricate details of the Reeve vs. Skeet debate he’s ready to kickstart in his head right now, so he settles on keeping his mouth shut. Kai likely didn’t desire any questions about his potential love interest either.

“Yeah,” The other boy answers, a lopsided goofy grin slowly overtaking his features. It looks unbelievably good on him. “Wow. I can’t believe I finally admitted it. I never thought I’d be able to tell you.”

“Me neither,” Adam chuckles; That action seems like the best response he can give at the moment. He kind of wants to know whether he fancies Reeve or Skeet, but he’s not in the mood to hear his cr- teammate speak adoringly about the enemy team. Or at all, really.

Minutes pass by, the two of them lazily floating a few feet off the ground as Kai slowly descends lower. Adam senses Kai’s eyes on him every once in a while, but whenever he moves his head the barest inch, Kai snaps his gaze to somewhere else.

They land because all good things must come to an end Adam quietly laments.

“That was fun, right?” Kai asks, peering up at Adam through his oddly long eyelashes. He almost sounds vulnerable. Unsurprisingly, that’s the desperation in his head talking.

“Yeah. I had fun, Kai,” They share a small smile, in which Adam thinks he can hear his heartbeat throbbing away somewhere in his skull. Kai’s eyes crinkle at the corners; The noise gets louder.

“I’d prefer to keep this to ourselves for now! I mean, wow that sounds bad, but I just don’t wanna share y-”

“It’s okay, I get it!” Adam flashes what he hopes is a convincing grin. So Kai didn’t want Mira to know he was bisexual/pansexual/a different sexuality Kai hadn’t specified, but he’s hedging his bet on bisexuality. That’s fine. He’s not fond of the excitement that washes over him at the thought of Kai trusting Adam with a secret.

He can definitely say he isn’t a fan either of how Kai smiled at him like he hung the stars in the sky or a euphemism equally as ridiculous.

Nothing prepares him for when Kai laces his fingers securely through Adam’s, and the way he beams at the ground from beneath his red fringe like nothing else exists.

***

“I was wondering when you guys would get back!” Mira exclaims the second she catches sight of her two favorite boys. They’re holding hands; Mira gives herself a reminder to ask Adam what that business is about later. For now, she’s just happy to see them.

“Yeah, I showed Adam something,” Kai winks, making the other boy flush. Adam takes his hand back now that Mira is with them too, even if it slightly pained him to do so.

“Is that so?” Mira asks, quirking an eyebrow in Adam’s direction. ‘Help me,’ he mouths.

***

“Now that we’re alone, I-” Adam jumps off the log he had previously been seated on, struggling to catch his breath from the sudden interruption. “Oops sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya!”

“You could at least warn a guy,” he groans morosely. Mira hides her stifled giggles behind her hand as she nudges Adam over.

“What’s the deal with Kai?” Mira punctuates her question with one grossly exaggerated eyebrow waggle. Adam sort of regrets opening up to her about his Kai situation at all. He’d been relieved to get what had morphed into the biggest problem he’d faced to date off his chest, outside of demon dogs and Death and everything else that had happened, but not when it gave Mira permission to shoot him finger guns every time Kai did something mildly gay.

She still never let him live down the demon monk incident - “You totally cradled him in your arms, dude. And Kai didn’t even pull away!” -  that occurred a week ago. It’s not Adam’s fault that he’s the worst at controlling his damn emotions.

“I can’t say.” He subconsciously wraps his arms around himself. There’s a lump forming in his throat for no discernible reason other than he doesn’t want to admit that Kai confirmed he likes guys, he just doesn’t like Adam. Like hell he’s going to admit that out loud.

Mira frowns. She wraps an arm around Adam’s thin shoulders, tugging him into her side. The obligatory question of what happens goes unspoken, but it doesn’t matter with the way Adam spills his guts out to the open air. Keeping a secret from Mira is like asking him to kill a puppy; He simply can’t do it.

“He likes Reeve or Skeet. I don’t understand why!” He vents purely out of frustration with not only Kai but himself as well. If he were a better leader, or if he was more handsome, then maybe-

“I can hear you overthinking from here, dude.” She gives Adam’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. A wave of guilt washes over him, making him exhale a heavy sigh. It’s hard to summon the energy to plaster a faux smile on presently, but if he was smiling, maybe he would forget that he was sad in the first place.

“It’s fine. I’ll get over it,” he says in an astonishingly level voice for someone who feels as if he is on the verge of a breakdown. Pathetic, really.

Mira doesn’t look convinced in the least, concern seemingly radiating from the small dip of her lips downwards. He silently begs her to let the subject go, and while she’s still looking at him with all the worry only a mom friend can possess, she shakes her head.

“Well, all right. But it’s not healthy for you to bottle up emotions like this, just so you’re aware.”

“I know.”

Mira gets up and wrings her back out, hands flailing wildly in the air for a few seconds before one is extended towards Adam. “Now come on. Kai’s probably worried!” She exclaims cheerfully as she drags both of them back to their temporary campground. Adam supposes he has time to dwell on his dilemma later when his teammates are safely and assuredly asleep.

***

Adam awakens to someone messing with his hair. Or more accurately, someone running a lazy hand along the expanse of his head, intertwining scraggly strands with their own fingers. It’s soothing, and Adam’s tempted to resume sleeping before common sense kicks in. Someone is touching his hair.

He manages to give himself a headrush with how fast he sits up. A wary glance at who was responsible for disturbing his sleep has him believing that he hadn’t actually woken up in the first place. He’s clearly somewhere off in Dreamland, where devil dogs can’t hound him down and where Kai is unabashedly grinning at him as if he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Because there’s no way that could happen in his waking life.

Except it does, and Adam can feel the spot where Kai’s fingers are woven positively burn. “Good morning! I was wondering when you would get up,” he smiles sweetly. The other boy takes his hand back, still maintaining eye contact with Adam.

Adam must have done something unspeakably evil in his past life, because that’s the only explanation he can come up with pertaining to why Kai is suddenly being so warm around him. Fate had to constantly toy with his feelings like it was nothing, like he was nothing. While he can’t say he’s in a foul mood, thanks to his stupidly dumb feelings for Kai, he doesn’t particularly want to deal with them this early in the morning.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep so late,” stumbles out of Adam’s mouth. He knows damn well why he woke up later than usual but like hell he’ll admit the reason to Kai. He receives a half-hearted shrug and a curt apology from the other boy.

Kai then grasps his hand. Adam’s ninety percent sure he could physically feel his heart stop beating. “Let’s eat breakfast. Oh, and I’m not sure if Mira’s awake yet either.” Odd... Adam had already made the assumption that Mira was awake. Then, does that mean…?

“Were you, um… waiting for me? T-to get up.” He can barely spit out the last three words; The cracked ground beneath them had suddenly become much more interesting.

Kai shoots him a ‘duh’ look, resulting in Adam diving headfirst into a mess of confusion and adoration for the blunt idiot he, unfortunately, has a crush on. “Yeah, is there an issue with that?”

He can’t exactly fathom why Kai would wait for him (were they finally becoming better friends?) other than for company maybe, but that wouldn’t explain him fiddling with Adam’s hair. He’s also starting to give himself a headache, but at least he’s holding hands with Kai.

They don’t separate until Mira wakes up and is strolling towards them.

***

The hand holding happens more and more frequently to the point where Adam’s sure he spends more time with his and Kai’s hands interlocked than they do apart. He’s too afraid to bring it to Kai’s attention, half because he doesn’t want Kai to distance himself again, and half because he gets an admittedly very guilty pleasure out of Kai’s attention. It’s wrong to revel in his friend’s attention as deeply as he’s been doing lately - especially when Kai still has an unconfirmed crush on Reeve or Skeet - but he’s only human.

He had just mastered the art of keeping his traitorous heartbeat in check when Kai reaches for one of his hands, and he swears Kai is on a mission to destroy him.

They don’t do it around Mira; Kai always allows his fingers to drift away milliseconds before she can notice. It’s as if the two of them are in on one huge secret, but what Adam doesn’t understand is why they’re hiding? Is Kai ashamed of being more open around him?

Or is Kai just ashamed of being his friend?

Adam swallows harshly, attempting to ignore the giant lump that had settled itself in his throat. It’s an irrational thought and makes zero sense, but Adam might as well be Boo Boo the Fool. The more he mulls it over, the more it starts to make sense that Kai wouldn’t want to be seen getting along with him when Mira’s around.

He concocts a brief list in his head.

Kai doesn’t have a crush on her if he likes Reeve or Skeet, so it can’t be because of that.

Kai also doesn’t act antagonistic towards him in front of their other teammate, and if he wanted to keep up appearances, surely he would be back to his old ways of trying (and failing) to one-up Adam in everything that happens to them.

Maybe Kai found out about Adam’s crush on him and is searching for ways to let him down gently, but doesn’t want to rope Mira into their problems. Subsequently, that would make Adam an asshole because he’s already discussed his stupid crush on Kai with Mira at least six different times so far without Kai’s knowledge.

Kai must be doing all of this to save his reputation. The only problem is, why would Kai care this much about impressing Mira still? They’ve all been through hell together multiple times, and he’s sure it isn’t about to come to an end anytime soon with their track record thus far. He decides he needs Kai’s input on the whole matter.

***

The next time Adam and Kai find themselves alone, Adam brings up his concerns about Mira with him.

Kai eyes him over, head cocked adorably to the side as he takes it all in. “You think I’m trying to impress Mira?”

Adam can’t fathom why Kai doesn’t see it as an issue. They’re teammates, and Adam considers them both to be his best friends. It doesn’t matter that Adam might see one of them as a soulmate; Kai obviously doesn’t feel the same, so he needs to drop it already.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do or not, we just shouldn’t be keeping any secrets from her,” Adam says. He watches as fear dances across Kai’s eyes, mouth pulled down in discontent.

“I thought you were okay with keeping it secret,” Kai finally says, bitterness laced in the undertones of his voice. Adam can’t seem to figure out why it’s such a big deal to admit that they get along now in front of Mira. It would be better for their morale overall if Mira wasn’t constantly dealing with their petty issues. Granted, they haven’t had a disagreement in a while but there’s always the possibility that Kai could go back to his old ways of picking fights with Adam over nothing. Adam wants to avoid that in any way possible; It isn’t good for his mental health in the slightest.

“She’s our best friend, and I think you should be acting like she is, is all I’m trying to say.”

“Huh?” replies Kai. “I just didn’t think… I mean, would she be okay with-” He pauses to gesture between himself and Adam, eyebrow raised questioningly.

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Adam’s really hoping this isn’t the part where he loses whatever standing he’s been holding with Kai and they revert back to one-sided rivals.

“I-” Kai lets out a frustrated breath. He pulls his knees up to his chest and lets out another angered exhale. “If it would make you happy, I guess I’m fine with telling her.”

Adam feels a tiny pang of guilt in his heart. He hadn’t intended to make Kai uncomfortable, but the other boy is acting like it’s such a big deal. He opts to put an arm around Kai to make up for his lack of a response. To his surprise, Kai leans into it and buries his head into Adam’s shoulder.

“I’ll be right there with you when you tell her, if it’ll make you feel better.”

Kai removes his head from Adam’s shoulder to give him an incredulous look. “Why wouldn’t you be? Weirdo.” It must give him some sense of relief though because Kai’s biting back a couple of giggles.

And then Kai plants a chaste kiss on his cheek.

***

“He kissed me! He literally kissed me!” Adam exclaims when he and Mira find themselves in each other’s company later.

“Was it on the mouth?” Mira asks, and it’s obvious she’s holding back her snickering through the way she keeps bringing her hands to her mouth. Adam hasn’t been able to keep it off his mind all day; Kai was making his crush worse earlier when he grabbed Adam’s hands and gave them yet another kiss, and flashed him one of those smiles Adam swears he could photograph and put in a museum. He’s never had the heart to pull away, to say ‘Kai, you’re ruining my life, and can you stop getting my hopes up because it’s fucking killing me-’

“No!” Adam exclaims. Mira startles at his sudden outburst, but he can’t bring himself to care when Kai’s actions from earlier keep playing in his mind like a broken record on repeat. “But he keeps doing all of these things that make me want to kiss him for real, and I can’t do that because-” He takes a moment to recollect his thoughts, flailing his hands wildly in the air. “Fuck!”

“Oh come on, he’s into you. I don’t know how you’re blind enough to not see this. The guy kissed your cheek and your hands for God’s sakes!” Mira exclaims. As much as Adam appreciates her letting him consistently vent to her, it makes no sense. Why does Kai keep doing things that makes Adam want to positively ravage him?

“You’re forgetting that he likes Skeet or Reeve! I don’t have a chance.” “Did you ever even stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, the guy he likes is you?” Mira says, folding her arms across her chest.

The fantasy of Kai liking him keeps him up the rest of the night.

***

They sit Mira down the minute they’re all awake and ready to take on the day. Adam still feels dead inside, and he’s sure his eyebags reflect the fact that he’s running on three hours of sleep. Nonetheless, his other companions don’t say anything so it must not be that obvious.

“So, uh… Adam and I have something to say…” Kai trails off, sheepishly bringing a hand up to his neck. Mira raises an eyebrow, eyes shining with intrigue.

Kai looks to Adam for strength, who gives him what he hopes is a reassuring grin and a hand squeeze. Kai smiles back confidently, turning his attention back to Mira. “Okay so… Adam and I are dating and I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable telling you, but he told me you wouldn’t mind and I-”

Adam is drifting half in and half out of the confession due to his eyelids’ constant drooping, but the word that instantly snaps him out of his stupor is ‘dating.’ Kai and him are what?!

“We’re dating?!” He shouts at the exact same time that Mira bursts out with a similar reaction. Adam frantically surveys his surroundings before his eyes land on a distraught Kai’s expression, hands dropping meekly to his sides.

“W-what?” Kai asks timidly before he turns his gaze to Mira, who’s staring at both of them weirdly.

“Since when were we dating?!” Adam yells out. He doesn’t mean to sound this alarmed, but the boy he’s certain he’s in love with at this point just stated that they were dating and- What even happened to the crush that Kai was harboring on Reeve or Skeet? Did Kai like him this entire time? Was he joking?!

“We- I-... y-you didn’t know?” Kai runs his hands through his hair and squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m so fucking stupid, I thought you knew when I confessed to you a-and…” He opens his eyes suddenly, revealing the few lone tears rapidly making their way down his face. “I didn’t think you wanted to k-kiss yet because we were taking it slow but-... oh my god you probably don’t even like me.”

Adam and Mira share wide-eyed, open-mouthed expressions together while Kai furiously rubs at his eyes. It takes a solid minute for Kai’s entire rant to kick in, but at that point, Kai’s already running away from them.

Adam is a huge fucking idiot.

***

“Kai?” Adam calls out. He’s been walking around the forest and nearing the edges of the carnival grounds again for a good half-hour now, but he hasn’t seen a single hint that Kai is around the area. God, he hopes Kai isn’t lost, or God forbid, encountered another enemy. He screams his name again in vain.

He feels awful for leaving Mira behind with no explanation of what’s going on, but he hardly knows what’s happening himself. Kai really thought they were dating the entire time…? It would certainly explain the hand-holding, and the cheek kiss that still makes Adam feel warm inside.

Speaking of, he’s starting to sweat in this particular area. It’s not that hot outside today, which is puzzling, but he immediately halts in place once he sees a small lick of fire land on a branch only to immediately fizzle out. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he glances up to find Kai curled up on a peculiarly wide branch, sniffling softly to himself.

“Kai, will you get down from there?” He requests, leaning up against the tree so the sun doesn’t damage his eyes as much. Kai self-consciously wraps his arms around himself, eyes glazed over as he hangs his head and doesn’t respond. Adam supposes he’ll have to go up there himself.

A few minutes of scaling the moderately-sized tree later (in which Adam barely manages to prevent slipping and falling on his ass once), he nudges Kai over with his shoulder. “I- I um… didn’t mean to make it sound like I was rejecting you or anything earlier. I’m actually kind of confused.” Adam admits, although he might as well be talking to air with the way Kai avoids any sort of contact with him like he’s poisonous or something.

“What’s so confusing about it? Friends don’t wait for friends to get up while playing with their hair, or hold each others’ hands so often, at least not the kind of friends I think I’d have,” Kai says quietly. His body is still angled away from Adam’s so it’s a tad hard to hear him, but the pieces fit together in his mind anyway. Kai is a naturally affectionate person, at least from what he’s perceived of him so far, but the little things such as hand-holding or cheek kisses must mean a lot to the younger boy. Adam wants to vocalize just how much of an idiot he’s been, how he wants to hug Kai close and never let go, but he doesn’t.

He maneuvers Kai around instead until their bodies are pressed against each other, and kisses the boy he’s wanted to be with since they woke up in that awful bunker, nameless and anxiety-riddled. Kai’s quick to encircle Adam with his arms, pulling him impossibly closer as Adam tries to convey all of what he’s feeling through a simple press of lips to lips.

“I’m sorry. It’s always been you.” Adam says with a small smile once they naturally break apart. Kai beams at him like the rest of the world doesn’t exist, and Adam smiles back in a manner he’s reserved just for Kai.

***

When Adam goes to sleep that night with Kai by his side, he watches the shadowy figures phase in and out of the corners of his eyes. The pale hand is extended towards him like it always is, but this time he holds on tight.

[fire-emblem-heroes-supports]

M!Corrin/Selkie C-A+ Support

Written by  auraphoenix1500

C-SUPPORT

 Corrin: Selkie!

 Selkie: Hm?

Corrin: Selkie! Selkie, is that really you?

Selkie: ‘course it is! Who else would it be?

Corrin: Ah…yes, of course - you’re right. I’m just…so happy to see you here!

Selkie: Aw…thanks! You’re Corrin, right?

Corrin: …What?

Selkie: Eh? Did I get your name wrong? Was it Corn? I thought naming someone after a food was weird, but I don’t know a lot about humans…

Corrin: Um…

Selkie: Or was it something weird, like, uh…”Kamui?” …Nah, no way.

Corrin: Selkie…

Selkie: Yeah?

Corrin: You…really don’t remember me?

Selkie: Whaaaat? Of course I do! You’re Lord Corrin – or Corn, still not sure which one – you’re the brother of Ryoma the lobster guy, Takumi the pineapple-head, Hinoka the flying lady, and Sakura, the really cute one!

Corrin: Erm…(what’s with those descriptions?)…and?

Selkie: Uh…you’re pretty nice, and…oh! That’s right!

Corrin: Yes?

Selkie: You can turn into a dragon! That’s why you’re here, right? You want to turn into your dragon form and have me turn into my fox form so we can play together! Why didn’t you say so earlier? I’m always up to play!

Corrin: …Anything else?

Selkie: …No? I don’t think I missed anything…why?

Corrin: Um…it’s nothing. Forget it. I, uh, have to go. To the…uh, bathroom. I…promise I’ll play with you later, okay?

[Corrin leaves.]

 Selkie: Huh…He seemed kinda down about something? I wonder why?

[Corrin and Selkie have reached support rank C.]

B-SUPPORT

 Corrin: *Huff* *huff* Did I…did I lose her?

Selkie: Gotcha!

Corrin: WAAAAAUGH!

――――

Corrin: Selkie…could you…please get off?

Selkie: Nuh-uh! What gives!? You promised you’d play with me, but whenever I see you, you run away!

Corrin: …Look, I’ve been – uh – busy! Very busy, yes!

Selkie: With what!?

Corrin: Well, you see, uh… there’s the… and there was…

Corrin: …

Corrin: Alright, you got me. I’ve been avoiding you, and I’m sorry for that. Will you —

Selkie: Apology accepted, buddy! Now let’s play together!

Corrin: —Wha?

Selkie: I said let’s play!

Corrin: Wait – you’re just going to…accept my apology like that? No asking for the reason why I’ve been avoiding you? No demanding anything of me for breaking my promise?

Selkie: Well…yeah! I mean, it’s not like I don’t want to know, but something’s been bugging you, and if you don’t want to share, that’s fine with me.

Selkie: Besides, you didn’t break your promise yet – it’s still “later,” isn’t it?

Corrin: …Oh…I suppose you’re right, aren’t you?

Selkie: Yup! So, you ready to play now?

Corrin: …Yeah. I think I am.

Selkie: Great! What should we play? Tag? Hide-and-Seek? Annoy-Karel-As-Much-As-You-Possibly-Can-Without-Getting-Stabbed?

Corrin: Annoy – What!?

Selkie: I said, Annoy-Karel –

Corrin: No, no, I heard you. …How about Hide-and-Seek? I used to play that a lot with my siblings when they visited me in the castle.

Selkie: Great! I’ll hide, you seek – and no running off this time, okay? Okay, see ya!

Corrin: Selkie, wait!

Corrin: And…there she goes. Not even waiting for me to close my eyes or anything.

Corrin: …Heheheh. Selkie, no matter what world we’re in, you never fail to surprise me.

Corrin: I promise…I’ll tell you why I’ve been avoiding you one day. Just…not now.

[Corrin and Selkie have reached support rank B.]

A-SUPPORT

Corrin: …What!? You’ve been behind me the whole time!?

Selkie: Haha, yup! Didn’t expect that, didja?

Corrin: I can most certainly say I didn’t. How did you pull that off? I didn’t even hear you!

Selkie: Well, when you’re hunting, it pays to be as quiet as possible. And according to daddy, if there’s one thing we kitsune are great at, besides having incredibly soft and fluffy fur, it’s hunting!

Corrin: I suppose so…

Selkie: Also, I’m pretty fast, so whenever you turned around, I would be already behind you again! Or on the floor.

Corrin: On the floor?

Selkie: Well, how else am I supposed to keep out of your sight when you turn around really quickly?

Corrin: …You could hide. That’s kind of the point of hide-and-seek.

Selkie: Mm…you’re right, I guess. Anyway, next round!

Corrin: Selkie, wait.

Selkie: Hm? What is it? Do you need to use the bathroom?

Corrin: Erm, no. It’s not that. Listen, I need to tell you something. About…why I was avoiding you a few days ago.

Selkie: Oh, you’re ready to share now? Okay, shoot!

Corrin: Selkie, do you see this ring?

Selkie: Yeah, it’s really pretty! I think you’ve been wearing that since you got here, right?

Corrin: Yes. I wear this ring because, well…I’m married.

Selkie: What!? Really!? Who’s the lucky lady? Come on, tell me!

Corrin: Selkie…it’s you.

Selkie: …What? Wait, what!?

Corrin: Well, in my world at least. May I explain?

Selkie: OH! In your world…that’s still weird to me, but okay. Alright, I’ll listen.

Corrin: Thank you. Now, I’m not sure if you know this, but for the majority of my childhood, I lived alone in the Northern Fortress in Nohr.

Selkie: Alone?

Corrin: Okay, well, not COMPLETELY alone. I had my servants – Felicia, Jakob, Flora, and Gunter – and my Nohrian siblings would visit me as often as they could, but I couldn’t leave the fortress at all. I had little to do other than train, study, and explore the fortress - and even that got old after a year or two, despite how big the fortress was.

Selkie: That sounds horrible! You mean you couldn’t ever play outside for your whole life!?

Corrin: Yes. Eventually one thing led to another – I found out about my Hoshidan heritage, the barrier around Hoshido broke, and Nohr began their invasion. Torn between my two families, I refused to side with either one. I built up an army of my own to stop the war, and although I knew my cause was right, the stress weighed heavily on me every day.

Corrin: Then one day, Kaden and his wife, Azura, left for a bit – only a day or two. And when they came back, they brought with them another kitsune – someone he called “a friend of his from the hamlet.” …And that was you.

Selkie: Wait, why’d he call me his friend? He’s my dad!

Corrin: Well…I’d later find out that they didn’t spend just a day or two in the hamlet– they spent a couple of years in a Deeprealm. …That was the oddest after-marriage party ever.

Corrin: Of course, I didn’t know that at the time. What I did know, though, was that this girl he brought was bright, cheerful, and loved to play – and I ended up spending much of my free time with her.

Corrin: [sigh] From a world trapped inside the confines of a castle, to the stress of running an army, the world she showed me was amazing. It was beautiful. And most of all, it was fun. When we were together, all the stress, the boredom, the troubles – they all just…washed away.

Corrin: And that’s how I fell in love. I eventually had a ring made, and after the war, I proposed – and we had a beautiful daughter together. And although I’m in another world right now, I’ll never forget to go back one day – and I keep this ring on as a reminder – of both the world she showed me, and the world we created together.

Corrin: …Selkie? You’ve gone really quiet – I didn’t make you fall asleep, did I? I get that I rambled for a bit, but…

Corrin: Oh Gods, are you crying?

Selkie: *sniff* *sniffle* N…no? I’m not… *sniff* cr-crying! It’s just…you finally…got to play… and you get to play forever! I’m just so happy for you!

Corrin: …Thank you, Selkie. But yes, that’s why I was so shocked when I saw you – and when you didn’t recognize me. I thought you were – well – my wife, and that you just forgot about me – and I couldn’t believe it. I’m sor–

Selkie: No!

Corrin: Eh?

Selkie: Don’t you dare apologize to me, mister! You thought you found the love of your life again, and even after you found out she wasn’t from your world, you still made friends with me, and played with me! You don’t get to apologize, because you’ve done nothing wrong!

Corrin: Selkie…

Selkie: But…if you really wanna make it up to me…well, I’m hungry, so…Race ya to the mess hall! No stones allowed!

Corrin: Selkie–hey, wait up!

[Corrin and Selkie have reached support rank A.]

A+ SUPPORT

Selkie: *Pant]* *Pant* So…tired…

Corrin: Want to take a break?

Selkie: You…you don’t look…tired at all! And didn’t we…run around the castle…like, three times?

Corrin: Well…I have built up some pretty good endurance. Having an incredibly active family helps with that a lot.

Selkie: And you’re fast! You were on my tails the whole time! All 9 of them!

Corrin: Well, when I don’t have any weapons on me, I’m pretty quick on my feet.

Selkie: I swear, I’m getting like, five, no, ten more “training sessions” with you than I do with Daddy! And that’s saying a lot!

Corrin: Well…please don’t underestimate your father. And I’m hardly amazing. My wife is much more amazing than me. And Kana isn’t as fast and doesn’t have as much endurance as me or her yet, but she’s catching up so quickly I think she’ll surpass us both by the time she’s a teenager!

Selkie: …

Corrin: …Hm? Something wrong, Selkie?

Selkie: Corrin, can you promise me something?

Corrin: …What is it, Selkie?

Selkie: One day…take me to meet your wife!

Corrin: Wha–?

Selkie: I wanna meet her! Whenever you talk about her, she always seems like this ultra-amazing person who can do anything at all! And I’m not like that at all, but I want to be someday!

Corrin: Selkie–

Selkie: And what’s more, I’ve always wanted to meet other kitsune – especially ones from other worlds! And I mean, sure, she’s another me, so it may not be exactly what I’m looking for…but I still want to meet her anyway!

Corrin: Selkie–

Selkie: And so, pleasepleaseplease take–

Corrin: Alright.

Selkie: –Eh?

Corrin: As soon as we’re able to, I’ll take you to my world. You’ll meet my wife, and my child, and we can all play as much as we want. I promise.

Selkie: …Okay, I really wasn’t expecting you to agree right away. But okay! I’ll look forward to it!

Selkie: …But right now, I’m all rested and ready to go! Let’s go for three more laps! And last one has to do the other’s chores for a week!

Corrin: You’re on.

Selkie: Okay, let’s–Hey! Get back here!

Corrin: Ahahahah! PAYBACK TIME!

Selkie: Why, you–

Selkie: Heh. Hahahaha! Let’s do this!

[Corrin and Selkie have reached support rank A+.]

[braywashed]

Since I’ve been putting it off due to lingering sicky feels, etc.

Here’s the far too long and far too unedited and written at 4am vacation rundown NO ONE ASKED FOR! (huzzah!)

So, yeah. I arrived at the new Amtrak station in the city which is a major upgrade from the trailer park reject of station the old one was. Way roomier. Could use a coffee stand or something but yeah. Improvement. Had to go underground under the tracks and back up to get to the very cold surface, it must suck in the winter.

About an hour, hour and a half into the trip I quickly realized that a.) all I wanted to do was sleep, and b.) that my throat was burning. I assumed this was due to the absurdly cold, non-stop dry ass air conditioning, but no. This bitch got sick for her entire trip. On the plus side I had the seats to myself for the majority of the trip, but still. I barely watched any CR or anything because I was miserable the entire time. Ya don’t wanna be miserable for 10+ hours on a train.

Got to Boston, to @conniecorleone‘s frightening apartment stairs. My bag was way too heavy and she troopered through taking it up them for me without dying. So if you ever need a tank in battle, call Rachel.

Hung out a little. Ordered some Five Guys. Watched a couple episodes of the first season of American Horror Story. I get the appeal but also never needed to see Dermot Mulroney’s ass.

Rach was busy with work stuff a lot early in the week, not helped by some dumbass school shooting threat the week before and kept apologizing while still going above and beyond as a hostess while I just felt guilty for getting snot on her sheets.

Day two I colored a bit. I can do a wicked water gradient with erasable colored pencils, for the record. Hung out. Relaxed. Used a lot of Zicam and Advil. Then we were on way to The Middle East for her conehead space boyfriend.

We waited like, an hour? In the chilly mist outside? The show started like AN HOUR LATE after that. The venue was nice but man, the mood was getting close to dead at points, especially since, again, FUCKIN SICK. But Planet Booty came on and while, a little on the bordering too raunchy side, put on a fucking amazing live show. Dylan has an absurd amount of energy that should be bottled and sold, but if it were it might result in the orgypocalypse. I saw a youtube comment that said he’s ‘very touchy lol’ and truer words never spoken. That man will grind on you and sing directly in your earlobe with his tongue if you are front row and happily, I was not. Yet somehow I still ended up with his sweat on my sweater sleeve thanks to someone being a dumbass and high fiving him after their set and not being able to handle the consequences. Ahem.

THEN TWRP TOOK LIKE ANOTHER GODDAMN HALF HOUR???

But I FORGIVE THEM because they were GREAT and played Daft Punk’s Celebrate in honor of motherfuckin Canadian Thanksgiving so... fine... I guess. My only complaint is they didn’t do The Perfect Product even though I get that’s probably a weird thing to do live. Also minimal keytar and Sung almost decapitated himself but you know... it happens. They DID do Tactile Sensation though which is a fucking jam. And Atomic Karate, ofc. And Meouch broke his fucking bass string which is like? Fucking hardcore? He came down like a foot away from us at one point. It was dope. They’re amazing live and have no right to be for dudes in ridiculous robot costumes playing synth in the year 2018 and rolling around stage on a hoverboard. Sadly I brought minimal memory cardage this year and didn’t get a lot of good video of them.

Afterwards, despite *someone* almost passing out, we hung out in the merch lines and did NOT accidentally cut ahead this time. I got a free signed poster because it was my birthday vacation ayyyyy and bought a couple EPs and the Together Through Time album. Then hopped over the PB’s line and got two hugs from Dylan who hung out and talked to/hugged/got selfies with every single person who got into line there and just? Good dude. Pure dude. Awful stache but... thumbs up human being. I got their Naked album and we headed out back to the apartment and some delivered Dominos (which was the only good Dominos I’ve ever had in my life.)

Day three I accidentally slept until like 4pm. Literally what else did we do that day? I cannot remember for the life of me. We might have went to Dunkin at like 9pm and she showed me a weird omnipotent plastic ear hanging on an electric wire? Was that this day? I have no fucking idea. Her Netflix and supply of Puffs tissues were my best friends this trip okay.

Day four she went to class and I relaxed and intended to walk to the mall. Unfortunately, my sick bleh hit and I didn’t feel up to going until about ten minutes before she got back. So we ended up heading over there together. I made her try Baja Blast, as is customary in my nation, and got her to try some green matte lipstick. Success. I was highkey hoping they would have a Build-A-Bear in the joint but they didn’t. They did have a Newbury though, that had the six-inch Roadhog pop which I’ve had a hard time finding locally, so I said fuck it and bought it.

That night was MST3k live! The theater was old as dirt. The kind of old as dirt where the flooring is bowing in. They had real strict rules on cameras and shit, which I get for the sake of spoilers but c’mon.... c’mon. Their merch sucked unfortunately though, so I didn’t waste any money on anything (for some reason they had 2017 tour stuff? It’s... not 2017?). The show itself was good, though I was wondering before it started how sick they must get of doing the same movie in different towns almost every other night. Pretty quickly realized oh, yeah, a lot of this show was likely pre-riffed. They did pull a kid from the stage at one point so he could guest riff off a script from Joel, which I’m thinking was a clever little insert fraction of the riff they did live between segments. I could be wrong, but on that front, it felt a little cheap. But it was still fun to see the boys and the bots live and have jokes cracked about not being able to afford the villains for the tour. And The Brain itself was........ I don’t know what I was expecting but..... it sure was.... something. The novelty was worth it and I will still gladly marry Crow T. Robot.

We went across the street to a little pub stop that was I think called Rock Bottom after that and got some much needed late night food. For some reason my brain was like “man, I could go for chicken fried steak right now” and don’t you know IT WAS ON THE FUCKIN MENU? WITH GARLIC CHEDDER MASHED POTATOES? Boston, much like with wings, does not know what country gravy is, but it was still everything I fucking wanted and did not expect to find, so A+. Also I was wearing a dress with shorts underneath it and stuck to the goddamn stool. Such is life.

Day five was rainy and miserable. I tagged along to university with Rach and it sucked, honestly. Being on a campus makes me feel awkward and the whole still being sick thing didn’t help. I ended up taking a walk way around the block to a Starbucks and getting the worst fucking frap I’ve ever paid too much money for. Went back around. Sat in the library. Felt even shittier. Started googling food places. Yard House wasn’t far but I didn’t want to deal with crossing a lot of traffic, especially if the rain started back up (it did, with a vengeance). So I ended up back around the block at some Olive Garden-esque fake Italian place with not an Italian in sight called Bertucci’s for some bland chicken-less fettuchini alfredo (because, as I’d reasoned with myself, I had chicken three times the day before). It was dimly lit, I had a booth to myself, and the water had the sweet skullet and braided beard combo I had liveblogged. People kept complimenting my tattoo. It was nice and no one seemed overly bothered that I was clearly killing time until I spent probably way too long in the restroom after trying to look alive. I tipped the dude ten bucks and left in the pouring rain with my umbrella.

From her school we took the world’s longest Uber to Parts Fucking Unknown in awful traffic and rain to find a Double Tree where @freakishlytallaustralian‘s parents were staying for a hot minute during their brief little US tour on their way to Europe. I’ve never met Mandi in person, but I’ve now met her parents who say she’s gotten to know a good bloke. She looks exactly like her mom. They were sweet. Anxious but sweet. And I am a freak who doesn’t talk and was sick trying to seem presentable at the bare minimum capacity.

Back ~home~ we ordered some JP Licks ice cream (BROWNIE BROWNIE BATTER!!! BROWNIE. BROWNIE. BATTER.), I watched CR and some stupid videos on the internet with her. Got some sleep. Sort of. Barely.

Despite Matt Mercer nearly succeeding at lulling me to sleep and eating my dreams, it didn’t happen, and I could not get comfortable for the life of me. The ���coughing every five seconds in bed” started this night and was not having mercy. So I opted out of another day of hanging around campus to try and get some more rest. It didn’t really work, but I did eventually get a solid three hours or so, so it was something.

As the day progressed it was onward to the Science Museum to meet Ron the T-Rex. There was a wedding happening. How appropriate, for Bravier funko pops to have come along on the day of a blessed union. Coincidence? I think not. A turtle kept falling off a branch when he was trying to nap. There was some space stuff. It wasn’t great. But I got a little stuffed dinosaur and that’s Important.

From there we hit up the same movie theater we went to the year before and saw Bad Times At The El Royale. Do recommend. Chris Hemsworth as a Charles Manson was not something I ever thought I’d see, and I still don’t understand it, but it rather predictably works for me, so we’ll leave it at that. Good movie, good performances, good pacing and editing that could have easily not been. See it, it’s fun. Not perfect, but fun.

It was COLD AS BALLS after the movie and neither of us brought jackets or sweaters, so the walk to the train station and back ~home~ was a chilly one. We stopped in, got some warmth, and headed down the road past her old place to a bar. If we didn’t appreciate TWRP and PB enough already, the band she had to pay cover for us to get in for just to pick up food were about 8 upper middle aged men playing every instrument in the book. Afropunk, they said. No, we said. Offkey, we said. This place was dark as shit and loud as shit but you know what? They KNEW WHAT REAL, HOT CHICKEN WINGS WERE and for that, I am appreciative dammit.

Went back, got some more Dominos, and was finally introduced to John Mulaney’s (or two of) comedy specials. He’s genius and I *understand* it now, tumblr. I get it. We ate way too much and did my laundry.

The week had come and gone way too soon and I felt robbed of my good time by how shitty I felt. Hopping on the train the next day (after a godawful uber ride) was just as depressing as the time before. And even though I didn’t feel as miserable as the trip there, and once again had a window seat to myself, I found myself curled up against my hoodie crying trying to fall asleep again knowing I was already headed back home.

Once the initial depression passed, the trip wasn’t bad. The iced latte was good. The Albany stop not as confusing the second time around. The WiFi kept me company. Eventually my aunt texted me asking if I wanted to hit up Stevie T’s on the way home because they were 24hr and neither of us had eaten all night. It was a plan. Get off, get food, come home, faceplant on my own big comfy bed, vow to deal with my dad’s drama in the morning and call it a night.

Then *that* happened. Yeah. Last year? Every stop, regardless of time of night, they made announcements. They came by, checked the marker above your seat, and if you were due off at the next stop told you it was coming up, would help with luggage if needed, and directed you to the correct door to exit the train. This year? Nothing. They decided to stop making announcements right before the Rochester stop, and no one came by in our car to tell us where to get off. Stopped, myself and the other person due off at that stop, a late-teens girl, went to the door at the front of our car where every other stop had gotten off before us. We assumed since no one said differently, and no attendants were around, that must be it. We were idiots. Because by the time we realized hey, they’re not going to open this door and we should go to the far other end of the train, it was already moving again en route to Buffalo.

We found ourselves in the dining booths by the cafe car while the staff made vague remarks and the conductor acted like it wasn’t his problem. My aunt on the phone talked to the Rochester station, we tried to claim I didn’t even have a reservation until about two other people looked up my ticket. They said it was up to the conductor to get us a cab home, he laughed at us, claimed to know nothing about any of that, and asked if were were going to buy the bus tickets the other girl was looking up. The bus for 3am, in downtown Buffalo, nowhere near the station. When we got off the staff at the Depew station was a lot more sympathetic, and said since nothing else was being offered he would put us on the next train back home, but since it was a Sunday morning there was no train to Rochester until roughly 7:45am. It was about 1:30 at this point. I felt awful for encouraging the other girl not to pay for two ubers and a bus ticket with the only alternative being offered to sit alone in an empty, unstaffed station in the middle of the night for hours. And between the situation, being tired and still sick, and dealing with my aunt calling hotels only to get put on hold and lose the room she was trying to reserve - I put my bags in a corner, found the restroom, and had a panic attack. I don’t know why, but those tend to be stupid like that. It’s not even like I was scared, or confused, or that worried myself. I started out very ‘whatever, I’ll just get a room or stay in the station, I’m pissed but whatever’. But something about the constant calls and texts and my battery nearing 0 had me stressed and I was crying like a bitch. I just wanted to fucking sleep, and I knew that wouldn’t happen in a train station with nothing but some benches, a restroom, and a vending machine.

Rach suggested an alternative I felt guilty about taking but ended up going for: Get to her parents house just outside Buffalo, get their spare key, and sleep on their couch while they’re out of town with their blessing. So I called an Uber, and the first one passed me by, with the gps fucking up and saying I should be picked up ON THE TRAIN TRACKS. The second guy was smart enough to come to the cab pickup out front and was really cool. He said he was just thankful I wasn’t a fucked up drunk college party kid and the first all night. He didn’t comment on how I probably definitely looked like I’d just been broken up with in the world’s worst romcom. It was over 20 bucks and I tipped him the max. Found my way inside, set up the couch, and continued my momentarily on hold panic until I eventually passed out. My Aunt came to pick me up in the morning, I got carsick, we had mediocre diner breakfast and what’s after that isn’t news worth talking about. Isn’t it bad enough the tail end of the trip took up like a third of this post?

All in all... it felt like a disaster. I’m not gonna lie. In weird ways the stars aligned that TWRP would end up on Conan the night of their show and have to reschedule to the day I came to town, but I paid for it with otherwise bad timing and my body deciding against me having a good time. Fun was had, don’t get me wrong. The good was good and any chance to get away from... this, is appreciated, but it just seemed like everything went awry. 

Mucho thanks to @conniecorleone again, for letting me crash on the futon and be my usual bland self, even blander while ill, and also buying me expensive cold syrup and a-many ubers.

We’ll see if Massachusetts and I ever cross paths again.

[silkhyung]

MESSAGE DELIVERED | pt.2

→ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader / Namjoon x Reader → Genre: fluff, smut, angst, humor → Words: 3,182 → Rated: NC-17 → Warnings: none in this part

→ Summary: A text message sent to the wrong number turns into a long lasting affair between two people completely opposite one another. 

→ Note: So, yeah… here’s the now official part 2! I’m really sorry for the delay, but I hope you’ll like it! :)

Parts: 01 : interim : 02 : 03 : coming soon

cr.

━ 12:03pm It must be because I’m very tired But ur still hilarious Night lol

With a heavy sigh, you lean back in your seat, a blush creeping up your cheeks at the realization you probably crossed a line or something with those messages you sent to him on Saturday night. You’d prayed throughout the whole day after you’d get a reply, and when that didn’t happen you’d checked your phone every twenty minutes on Monday and today every time your phone buzzed. It’s kinda lame.

Really, you have no actual reason to be this upset about it.

“Joonie asked me about you today in class”, Jeongyeon says when your professor seems to still be too busy shuffling through his papers to give a damn about what’s going on in his class.

Your stomach flips uncomfortably and you quickly push your phone in under a notebook, giving your friend a curious look. “Joonie?”

She completely ignores that and continues on. “He asked why you rushed out of the show so quickly on Friday and also mentioned that he was kind of disappointed you never got to hear when they performed the song he wrote about y… Yoongi.”

After forcing the most fake smile you’ve ever seen her sport onto her lips, she turns to her phone and just starts scrolling.

“I already told you it was because of an emergency meeting”, you sigh. “Mark had some stuff to go over with me.”

You don’t mention your boss also told you to stop being so nice in your reviews and take your writing to the next level or he’d have to let you go, which led to you almost having a panic attack when you finally made it to the elevators because you really need the money.

“Yeah, but Joon- Namjoon doesn’t know that.” She gives you a pointed glare and you just want to kick her.

“Why does he care anyway?” you mumble, crossing your arms over your chest while leaning back in your seat further.

You hadn’t expected an answer, but you still hear Jeongyeon mumble something along the lines of; “several dumb reasons”. Ignoring that, you begin writing down whatever nonsense it is your professor is currently going through. No offense to Mr. Lee, but he really does have a tendency to space off and go way off topic.

The rest of the class is spent in silent annoyance on your part, first of all wondering what’s up with Namjoon constantly demanding your time and attention and then about your stupid JK not replying to your messages. He’s left your ballsy and stupid little confession unanswered for three whole days soon and it really shouldn’t bother you, but it so obviously, embarrassingly does.

He’d been like a small, kind of silly escape from reality in a way, and you miss that. You miss texting him because he seemed to be able to help keep your mind off of the stressful things in life, like school, your job, your pretty doomed future and so on.

Maybe he’s just unusually busy?

Maybe you should be thinking about more important things rather than a stranger in your phone?

Just then your phone starts buzzing incessantly under your notebook, and you eagerly fish it out, only for the excitement to wash off of your face as soon as you see the name displayed on your screen.

━ Kim Namjoon 4:22pm Hey what’s happening tonight? Wanna hit up Yoko’s with me and Hoseok? I kinda feel like you owe us for ditching us last time And you can give him his cap back

You try not to roll your eyes, typing out a quick lie in the hopes of it making him not continue asking. Of course, such luck only exists in fairytales.

━ 4:22pm I’ll be in a meeting

━ Kim Namjoon 4:22pm I didn’t give you a specific time

This time you do roll your eyes.

━ 4:23pm Then specify the time

━ Kim Namjoon 4:23pm How about 6:30?

Just as you hover over the send button, about to give him a big, fat no, you realize that you really are just being an unreasonable brat, like Jeongyeon told you several times over the phone during the weekend. The guy has never actually done anything but be nice and understanding towards you. He even showed up to Jeongyeon’s 70’s themed charity run when you couldn’t make it.

Biting into your lip with a sigh, you type out a new text, and you tell yourself it’s mostly because Hoseok probably desperately wants his favorite cap back.

━ 4:24pm Fine but jeongie joins us

━ Kim Namjoon 4:24pm Yeah that’ll be great! See you then!

“Hey”, you say, nudging Jeongyeon with your elbow. “Namjoon just texted me.”

You see her eyes narrow slightly, but you don’t understand why so you just brush it off. “Oh?”

“Yeah, we’re meeting up with him and Hobi for noodles at Yoko’s later.”

“Great.”

You’re not sure, but it kind of sounds like she doesn’t entirely think that that’s great, but you brush that off as well. Sometimes, Jeongie just has a tendency to get in bad moods for reasons she keeps to herself until she feels bad about it.

When she doesn’t say much else but only tells you she’ll meet you at Yoko’s, you gather your stuff with a heavy sigh at the end of the lecture, feeling like this day won’t ever just end.

A little more than an hour later, you’re standing outside of Mark’s office, fiddling with the hem of your shirt before gathering enough courage to push the door open. You’re greeted by a sickeningly sweet smell reminding you of donuts, and you instantly find the source inside a small box resting on his desk.

It is indeed donuts.

“Ah, Y/N!” your boss smiles wide, motioning for you to sit down as he sits himself down in his plush office chair. “I’m sorry for calling in for a meeting on such short notice, and before you start freaking out, I’m not going to fire you.”

With a nod and a tight smile, you lean back in your seat, trying to look comfortable when in reality you feel like a wooden board placed in a chair.

“I just need you to go to a certain mini festival kind of thing at the end of this week.” He grabs his laptop and angles it for you to see better. “This band’s playing. They’re pretty new and they’re quickly getting popular. I think they’re called F8X9 but nobody knows what it actually stands for. That’s rock for ya, I guess.”

Like Bath Time Sucks, you think to yourself with a small smile.

“You’re gonna go, make sure you watch these girls play, somehow get in backstage and talk to them, get an unofficial interview or something, and then you’re gonna write about them. And if you do good on that review, I’ll let you stay.”

You nod along to all he says, but pause abruptly at that last part.

“Wait, what?” you ask, lifting an eyebrow quizzically. “I thought you said you weren’t going to fire me?”

“Didn’t you listen, kid?” Mark smiles and leans back in his chair. “Your writing has been lacking lately, so I’m giving you a last chance to spice it up since you very obviously didn’t take my advice into consideration the last time I called you here.”

“But, wait, what?” you mumble again. “You just said I wasn’t going to get fired?”

With a smile that’s almost a little unsettling, your boss sighs. “Kid, you’re great and I like you, but you never listen. I’m not firing you today. I’m just giving you a project that will either lead to you getting fired or staying. It’s not the same thing.”

“I don’t understand-”

“You don’t need to understand, Y/N”, Mark grins, grabbing a donut from the box. “You just need to do what I ask of you. I’ll have JB email the tickets to you. You can bring a friend because I’m just nice like that.”

When you don’t say anything but just sit there and stare at your boss, mouth slightly agape because you’re for the first time in a good while at a loss for words, he takes a bite out of his donut and waves you towards the door.

“You can go now”, he smiles, donut pieces sticking grossly to his teeth. “The mini fest is this Saturday. Be there.”

And then he’s back to writing emails and what other crap it is he does on his computer, and it’s like you’ve already left the room. Feeling somewhat like you’d just been walked all over, you slowly get up from your seat and walk out of his office. You offer a weak smile to the colleagues you never really meet since you’re not an actual employee, and get in the elevator, hitting the buttons a little too harshly.

It’s when you’re outside the building that your bring out your phone and do something that leaves your cheeks burning hot pink.

━ 5:33pm I know how you felt cuz I wanna punch everyone

Letting your thumb hover over the send button, you stare at your message for a few seconds before gasping at your own stupidity when you realize you’d already sent it.

The words message delivered stare back at you, almost tauntingly, and when you check the contact info, it clearly spells out JK, and you instantly feel like melting through the ground. 

Why would you reach out to him now, after three days of complete silence, after he left your messages of admitting you enjoyed talking to him hang in the air awkwardly?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

If he thought you were being weirdly clingy before, he’s never going to want to speak to you again now.

You’re just shoving your phone down into your coat to walk the whole hour it’ll take you to get to Yoko’s when you receive yet another text. Thinking it is Hoseok once again, asking for the hundredth time if you’ve remembered his precious cap, you whip it out with a scowl.

━ JK 5:35pm I volunteer to be punched if it will make you feel better

Blinking at your screen, you almost press your nose to the home button as you stare at the received text. 

He’s back?

You stay there for a long while, typing out several messages - some with too many exclamation marks and some with all caps on throughout - until you finally decide to just leave him hanging the way he left you.

It’s petty, and you wish you could be less so, but you really can’t and that’s that.

So that’s why you spend the next hour ignoring the occasional plinging of your phone, hoping it isn’t JK asking for your attention now that you’d accidentally given him yours as you make your way to Yoko’s.

It isn’t until you’re outside the place that you check your phone again, two unread messages from him lighting up your screen in what’s become a welcomed familiarity.

━ JK 5:59pm So which beatle was the oldest?

━ JK 6:33pm i kinda think ur ignoring m

You wanna tell him that yes, you are ignoring him because he ignored you for three whole days and that’s not cool, but then you remember you’re not in any place to demand. You’re just strangers. A fact you seem to have to remind yourself of more frequently than you should.

With a sigh, lips still grazed by a small smile anyway, you type out a response.

━ 6:34pm Lol poor u Again with the quizzes? It’s Ringo

It takes him barely a second to answer, and it kind of catches you off guard.

━ JK 6:34pm I knew I could count on my genius! I knew u were cool :)

You try - you really do - to not let your heart skip at the use of the word “my”, but as with everything in your life lately, you fail fairly miserably.

━ 6:35pm Still haven’t gotten into joys pants I take it?

You wait for his response for two minutes, and when no notification pops up on your screen, you decide to head inside since it’s freezing outside.

You’re instantly met with the smell of freshly boiled noodles and broths in every flavor you can imagine, and when you turn to walk further inside to find your friends, you instantly get approached by Jinyoung, the owner of the place.

“Hey, Jeongyeon ordered for you and I just finsihed it”, he smiles, nodding towards the bowl on the tray in his hands. “I can still bring it to your table if you’d like.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay”, you grin, happy at the sight of a steaming bowl of noodles prepared for you. It’s no secret you enjoy spending your afternoons at Yoko’s when you have the time and money. “Thank you, Jinyoung. It’s miso noodles, right?”

“What else would it be?”

You give him a huge smile, cheeks tinged pink because the whole staff knows you so embarrassingly well by now.

You’re just about to turn around and head back to your table when a stranger’s elbow knocks into you as they pass you by. While you gasp at the tiny amount of broth spilled on the floor, the guy just shoots you a nasty glare over his shoulder while continuing walking.

“Watch where you’re going, dammit”, he snaps at you darkly before continuing towards the exit, nose glued to the phone as he texts away.

Your gaze follows him for a few seconds, exasperated both at his jerkass attitude but also at the fact that he of course had to look like a damn Abercrombie model. Everyone knows you’re weak for muscle pigs with midnight black hair, and it sucks that it’s always the good looking ones that are the absolute assholes.

With a few exceptions, of course. Namely Jung Hoseok.

“Like you’re one to talk”, you huff with a small scowl as his broad back disappears behind the closing doors, and you turn around to Jinyoung to apologize for spilling on his floor.

He waves you away with a fond, “It’s okay, I’ll take care of it” and before you can say much else he’s already down there wiping up the tiny splotch of broth you left on the floor behind you.

After thanking and apologizing to him once more, you head over to where you see Hoseok waving at you, probably excited to get his cap back, finally. You slow in your tracks for a moment when you spot several heads you don’t recognize next to your friends.

“Hey, guys”, you smile sheepishly when you reach the table, for a second ignoring the unfamiliar faces. “Sorry I’m late. Hobi, here’s your cap”, you say as you pull it off your own head and hand it to an excited Hoseok. ���And hi”, you add in while giving a smile to the other guys at the table. “I’m Y/N.”

Your phone plings in your pocket as Hoseok makes space for you to slide in the booth next to him.

“Hey”, the guy with the pink hair says. “I’m Jimin. This is Taehyung, who’s in the band with me, our producer Yoongi and manager Seokjin.”

Everyone mentioned gives a nod in acknowledgement, but continue to devour their food without sparing you another glance. Jimin rolls his eyes at them and you decide you like him the most out of all of them.

“These are the guys I write songs for”, Namjoon says proudly, for the first time in a long while actually smiling at you. You don’t know why it makes you feel funny. “We bumped into them on our way inside so they joined.”

“I hope that’s okay”, Jimin smiles apologetically.

“Yeah, yeah, of course”, you grin. “So, you guys are the famous BTS, huh?”

Namjoon nods proudly, but you interrupt him before he can say anything.

“Wait, aren’t you guys a trio?” you ask, pointing between the guys named Jimin and Taehyung with your chopsticks. “Where’s the third guy?”

“Oh, he got a text from someone and had to leave”, Taehyung mumbles through his noodles. “I’m surprised you didn’t bump into him. He left just a little while ago. Said he needed to talk to someone important or something.”

“You don’t think he’s going to meet up with that tramp again, do you?” Jimin asks, looking between his friends with a flare of panicked jealousy, and you get a feeling he’s into this missing third of their band.

He sort of has that vibe about him.

While the rest of the table dives into a conversation about hookups and whatnot, you turn to your phone to see if your Beatles stranger had replied, and you’re greeted by a few more messages than you imagined.

━ JK 6:37pm No cuz I don’t want to Too much work for nothing lol What’s cooking good looking?

━ JK 6:39pm wait are u busy? I just left my friends so im p bored You have to entertain me with your bad sexual innuendos lolol

━ JK 6:41pm No but srsly are u busy? I don’t wanna bother you

Smiling at his odd goofiness, you bite into your lip and lean back so Hoseok won’t be able to see your screen as clearly.

━ 6:45pm Lol you can chill I’m just having dinner with some friends

━ JK 6:51pm So I’m stealing your attention from your friends huh? nice

━ 6:51pm Don’t flatter yourself amateur

“Hey, what are you so smiley about?” Hoseok asks all of a sudden, peering over your shoulder to see what you’re up to.

“Nothing, really, it’s just-”

“Who’re you texting?”

“It’s just about school!” Pressing your phone to your chest tightly to keep it away from Hoseok’s curious eyes, you lock the screen for extra security measures and glare at him.

“Ew, school”, he mumbles, downing the last of his drink.

“Exactly.” Your eyes catch Jeongyeon blushing over one of the band members, so you quickly mention that to distract him. “What you should be asking is why Jeongyeon’s acting like a little schoolgirl.”

Just as Hoseok dives into your bait and starts embarrassing your best friend by interrogating her over her flushed cheeks in front of everyone, your phone plings again.

━ JK 6:53pm And here i thought you enjoyed talking to me Or were you really just sleepy?

━ 6:53pm Asshole

━ JK 6:53pm Kidding I really enjoy talking to you too :)

Your stomach does another of those soft dips or flips or whatever the hell it is, and you calm the tingling in your hands by fishing up a scallion with a chopstick, smiling triumphantly when you succeed.

━ 6:54pm Good to know

━ JK 6:54pm So the textbook ninjas let you have a night off? Since you’re not fighting ninja wars in the library i mean

Your gaze falls to Jeongyeon as she lets out an annoyed grunt, and you feel a little bad about throwing her under the bus, but at the same time you kind of need this. It gets a little easier to ignore your worries of your job with each pling coming from your phone.

And silly as it may be, you’ve missed texting him.

━ 6:55pm I gave up Too much moving around for my liking so I’m resigning It’s only going to be ninja movies from now on

━ JK 6:55pm I get that But pls tell me it’s the good ones

Thinking for a second, you realize there’s no point in lying. You know little to nothing of ninja movies and it’d be stupid to pretend just to impress.

━ 6:55pm I might’ve lied There’s gonna be more ACTION movies

━ JK 6:55pm Again Pls tell me it’s the good ones

━ 6:56pm Idk does iron man count as a good one? It has to otherwise ur dumb

It takes a moment for him to answer that, but when he finally does, you smile bigger than you have in days.

━ JK 6:57pm It’s like we’re made for eachother

next part

[becamitchellsbeats]

DJ For Hire - Part 2

So I finally updated this fic. [Part1] also on AO3

"What are you doing down there?" A familiar voice asked Beca who jumped, startled by the sudden question. "Oh, Kirsty I was uh tying my lace," she said whilst quickly shoving her phone into her pocket as she stood up.

As much as Beca didn't want to be there she knew she had to be professional. It was a big opportunity for her. And she could hardly be the one to ruin Chloe's wedding by leaving her DJ-less at the last minute.

"Heres the USB" Kirsty said handing it to her "If you could play it now that would be great. My niece wanted to start rehearsing it at 1, which is any minute now" she said whilst glancing at her watch.

Beca just politely nodded and plugged the USB into her laptop. She sighed her mind was still being flooded with thoughts.

On the bright side, she couldn't see Chloe in the distance which offered her some relief.

Beca loaded up the file and hit play. A rather familiar arrangement came blasting out of the speakers. She eyed the file name skeptically.

"Wait... This is"

It was her mashup of Bulletproof she had made back when she was at Barden. She clearly remembered showing Chloe this mashup back in first year.

Beca wasn't too fond of it but Chloe seemed to love it. She insisted she let her keep it for her own personal use. Upon glancing down at the USB she recognized it was, in fact, hers.

Her mind was frazzled once again. Why did this niece want to dance to her mashup? But the most surprising thing was that Chloe still had it after all this time.

She watched as Chloe was the one who surprisingly entered the dancefloor. But Chloe wasn't focused on dancing, in fact, she was headed straight for her.

Before Beca could even try and escape, Chloe's eyes were locked on and before long the red head was standing in front of her.

Beca had a thousand things she wanted to say and ask and yet all that came out was.

"Dang, I was hoping to avoid you" she admitted truthfully. Chloe fidgeted awkwardly "I was gonna say its good to see you. But I guess you being the DJ means it'd be hard to not see me. After all, it's my-"

"Wedding, yeah. Congrat--"

Chloe started giggling "Wait? Did you really think it was me getting married?"

"Everything pointed towards it..."

"well, It's my mom's big day! It's been really stressful but."

Chloe couldn't help but notice how relieved Beca looked. "You seem almost happy Beca?"

"Yeah, I-- does that make me a bad person?'

"Depends" Chloe said shrugging innocently. "Did you not want me to get married?"

Beca glanced down at the floor. "Beca, look at me" she said softly and Beca reluctantly looked her in the eyes. "Well no, I- I don't know. I was just hurt that I wasn't invited."

At this moment Kirsty came running over "There you are! My favorite niece" she said with a smile "are you ready to do your dance? Your mom is eager to see it" Chloe smiled faintly "yup!" Kirsty then went off to sit at a table.

Chloe played with her thumb ring awkwardly. "It's kinda embarrassing now that you're here and are aware that I'm dancing to your mashup"

Beca smiled faintly "if anything I'm intrigued to see what choreography you came up with. And a little bit touched." She said looking somewhat smug.

Chloe squinted "it has nothing to do with the fact that it's your mashup" she tried to defend herself as she flailed her arms around, to which Beca smirked. "Right"

"We'll talk after?" Chloe said almost awkwardly as she backed up. To which Beca nodded. In that moment she basically forgot everything that had been said until Amy's remark came crashing back in like a wrecking ball. 'The only one she doesn't contact is you' so as Beca hit play on her mashup again she was drowning in her anxiety.

But as her mashup filled the room her mind was occupied once more. This time with the sight of Chloe, as the lights in the room now focused on her.

She moved swiftly, hitting the beats of the music with her feet. Doing all kinds of gestures as she moved along the dancefloor effortlessly. Dropping back, half-way to the floor on the 'never let you sweep me off my feet' bit before spinning and strutting forward with fierceness apparent in her eyes.

She could have sworn she made eye contact with her as she mouthed 'this time baby I'll be bulletproof' she looked fierce and hot, it was mesmerizing.

The track actually started to repeat itself as Beca zoned out. She rushed to pause it and the small audience applauded their family member's efforts.

Chloe went to approach Beca once more but Kirsty pulled her back. "I'm glad you get along with Becky. But remember she's here to work" she said with a smile.

"Aunt Kirsty I know her. She was a Bel--" but she had zoned Chloe out as she dragged her off to do more planning.

Beca was relieved in a way. It gave her time to gather her thoughts. She almost regretted being too friendly and playful with Chloe. She was hurt. But she was also desperate to be back in the redhead's life. She didn't realize how much she had missed her, not to mention the way she danced to her mashup touched her, which made everything that much more difficult for her.

The day came to an end and Beca headed outside to make a call.

"Hey, are you good to pick me up?"

Amy: "uhhhhhhhhhhh"

Beca: "Amy? Please. I just want to get out of here."

Amy: "See Beca id love to but. I've been drinking with Bumper. And--- it's not really legal for me to drive."

Beca: "Since when do you care about the law?" Beca sighed "I mean. I shouldn't encourage your terrible decisions. But you've done it before. So uh why are you choosing to stick to the law now?"

Amy: "I am trying to be a more environmentally and public friendly Australian, Beca." She said before grumbling

"That and . . . Uh Chloe asked me not to pick you up. You should talk to her Beca. I know it's been awhile but she knows you well enough to know you'd try bolt so..."

Beca sighed "of course..." She cut the call and slowly turned to see Chloe standing a short distance behind her.

"Need a lift?" She asked holding up her car keys. Beca rolled her eyes. She wasn't given much choice now. But she had to admit she found it slightly endearing.

"I don't really want to leave my equipment here overnight..." She said pointing at the building.

"It will be fine. We have all kinds of valuables in there. It's secure. You can collect it tomorrow?" Chloe suggested.

"Is that just an excuse to see me tomorrow?" Beca said raising an eyebrow. "Depennnds" Chloe said smiling innocently.

"Alright. I guess you can give me a lift" "Aus! Let me just lock up"

The car journey was awkward. And Beca could swear that Chloe kept taking detours and wrong turns to extend the journey duration.

Beca had yet to get it off her chest that she was hurt. But she just couldn't seem to find the right moment.

"So are you seeing anyone?" Chloe asked breaking the silence. And once again Beca lost her moment.

"Why'd you wanna know?" Beca countered. "Ooh so it's someone I know?" Chloe asked turning to look at her briefly.

"Well, 'seeing' is a strong word. I guess I like someone yeah. I guess we had a thing? But I've not seen them in awhile."

Chloe raised an eyebrow "And who is this someone?"

"She's a Bella, you won't know her."

At this Chloe blinked "Beca. I know all of the Bellas. I'm pretty sure i'd know her" at that Beca could have kicked herself. She wasn't good at talking on the spot, and certainly didn't mean to let the word 'Bella' slip.

"Yeah, well it's uh..."  she could feel Chloe's eyes on her "it's uh?" Chloe repeated her words.

She began skimming through the girls in her head as if they were on a games character select screen. "Stacie" she said casually.

"Oh" Chloe said softly. They drove in silence for another two minutes after that remark.

Chloe then reached forward towards her car stereo. 'Yes. Music! just what we need!' Is what Beca was thinking so she was surprised when the stereo started making a dialing sound instead.

"Hello?" A familiar yet sleepy voice now filled the car.

Chloe: "Stace, heeey. I was just wondering--"

Stacie: "When I last spoke to Beca and if she's alright? As you always ask? Again. She's good Chlo, you should really talk to her yourself though."

At that Chloe winced. "She's um kinda here. In the car. With me. Now actually..."

Stacie: "Oh. Well, hey Becs!"

"Hey..." Beca said awkwardly.

"Beca was saying how you two had a thing?"

"Dude!" Beca exclaimed

Stacie: "Did we? In a dream once maybe?"

At that moment Beca wanted to drown. She sunk into her chair as if to hide from the girl who clearly couldn't see her. She never intended her lie to be checked. And as she thought about what Stacie could be thinking another wave of anxiety hit her.

"Oh. Well thanks for clarifying" Chloe said casually "we've got to go, I'll call you tomorrow" Chloe then cut the call.

"So it's not Stacie. One Bella down, 8 to go" Chloe said casually. Beca sighed "you're unbelievable. Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want answers" Chloe said casually as she dialed Cynthia Rose.

CR: "Hey gurl" Cynthia said answering almost instantaneously.

"No. The one who needs answers is me." Beca said sternly as she sat upright.

CR: "Beca? That you? Is this a bad time?"

"Sorry Cynthia, I'll call you back..." Chloe cut the call. "Beca, what is it? What's wrong?" Chloe looked at her with sad eyes "sorry -- I shouldn't pry"

"It's not that!" She almost yelled. Chloe looked puzzled.

"Dude. Amy said I'm the only Bella you don't call or keep in contact with. Why? What did I do? Do you like hate me?" her voice threatened to break "Because I'm confused. You ask about me apparently and yet you never reached out." The hurt was apparent in her eyes as she continued whilst glancing down at her boots in the footwell.

"I know I didn't reach out either... But I'm awkward about these kind of things. I don't like to be a burden if someone contacts me I know they want to talk. But you, you never did, and it frickin killed dude. It killed. And the only thing that got me through it was knowing that you hadn't contacted any of the others. They never mentioned you and I never heard Amy once talk to you on the phone. So I assumed it was all of us... man was I wrong, it was just me" she said dropping her voice

"And then I end up being hired for what I thought was your wedding and just- just-- why Chloe? What did I do?"

"I don't know Beca..." Chloe said as she drove slowly along the street.

"Well," Beca opened the car door forcing Chloe to slow down further. "You better figure it out." She said unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out the car as it slowed to a stop.

"See you tomorrow." She said shutting the door as she prepared to walk the rest of the way home.

"You made me fall in love with you"  Chloe said softly to herself.

Beca unlocked the door to her apartment. As she walked in she was surprised to see Fat Amy sitting there with Stacie.

"So, heeey Beca" Stacie said almost awkwardly. A wave of dread hit Beca. "Look if you're here about what Chloe said, I said I liked a Bella and kinda freaked out and-"

"Oh I don't mind" Stacie said shrugging. "Just give me some warning if you're gonna name drop me."

"Sorry dude." Beca said whilst scratching the back of her neck uncomfortably.

"Well, how about we go out on a date Beca?" the leggy brunette asked with a smirk

"Dude. No. Like?"

"Firstly, don't look so repelled by the thought! You'd be honored. Secondly, it doesn't have to mean anything."

Beca sighed. "Stace. The part about me liking a Bella wasn't a total lie."

"Yeah that was uh pretty obvious Beca" Fat Amy commented. "We just had to get it out of you."

Beca folded her arms in protest "Well, you don't know who it is."

"Chloe"

the other two girls said in unison. Beca found herself fidgeting uncomfortably, was it that obvious?

"And yes by the way. I know what you're thinking. It's obvious."

Beca rolled her eyes "why are you here again?"

"I want to hang!" "Its late Stacie."

"I don't mean right now Beca. I mean tomorrow. I want us to have a not-so-girly girls day out together. Just us two" Stacie then turned her head to Amy "sorry Amy but you see her all the time."

Amy just waved her hand dismissively as she continued to glance at her phone "My permission is granted."

Beca looked to Amy then back to Stacie "Just us two? Sounds like a--" "No. Not a date" Stacie sharply interrupted "I'd much rather see you get with Chloe than pursue you myself."

"Alright" Beca said sighing "I'll go but on one condition"

Stacie raised an eyebrow "seriously? We have conditions for hanging out now?"

"Okay... It's more like a favor. I left my stuff at the venue. Granted it makes sense to leave it there, but I wanna grab my laptop and Beats but uh. I don't want to deal with Chloe right now. Not until the day of her mom's wedding anyway, so could you uh, go get em for me Stace?"

Stacie shrugged "she'll know you're avoiding her" Beca nodded "I know but--" Stacie just nodded "I'll do it. But on our day out I want your full attention and participation!" Beca slowly nodded "you got it."

Stacie then got up from the couch letting out a yawn. "As much as I'd love to crash here for the night I've got a 'guest' waiting at home. I'll get your stuff in the morning Beca. Then I'll text you where to meet me."

"You're not picking me up?"

"You're the one who didn't want to call it a daaaate" she sang as she left their apartment.

Beca rolled her eyes. "Sooo" Fat Amy started "Want to tell me about what happened?"

"She never really said why," Beca said quietly as she looked at the floor.

"Yeah but this is Chloe. There's got to be a good reason"

"Who knows, goodnight Amy" Beca then disappeared upstairs. Not wanting to discuss anything further.

The next day Chloe was eagerly waiting by the shutters. She knew Beca would get there early and didn't want to miss her.

Except the one who got there early was actually Stacie. The surprise was apparent on Chloe's face when she saw Stacie get out her car and walk over.

"Stacieee" she laughed almost nervously "what are- what are you doing here?"

Stacie smiled awkwardly "Beca sent me" Chloe sighed "Figures," she said unlocking the shutter and pulling it up above her head. "I just need her laptop and Beats. She changed her mind about the rest."

Chloe just nodded "Mhmm" she said reaching for Beca's laptop bag. She folded the Beats into the hard case and shoved them into the bag as well. "Here you go" she said handing the bag to Stacie.

"Chlo, you seem sad," the taller girl asked sounding concerned  

"Me sad? Never" she laughed "I am totally fine." She said forcing a smile. "Look, you don't need to hide your feelings from me."

Chloe began to mumble "I'm really good at hiding feelings apparently" but Stacie didn't catch it.

"Hey, I have an idea! How about we have a girls day out!" she said excitedly before mumbling "Which won't be too girly because hey, I can be a bit of a dude."

Chloe smiled "I'd like that. It's been awhile since just the two of us have hung"

Stacie nodded "I'll text you where to meet me and a time" Chloe laughed lightly "you're not picking me up?"

"Just think! You can listen to Ed Sheeran's new album on the way over" and at that Chloe grinned "you're right!"

"Awesome" 'too easy' she thought to herself as she ducked under the shutter slightly and made her way back to her car, waving one last time over her shoulder.

As Chloe watched Stacie drive off she stood there and squinted her eyes. "Wait a minute I could have listened to it in her car." She said shaking her head at herself.

A few hours passed and it was almost time to meet Stacie.

Beca sat on a bench, wearing her Beats, tapping her foot in time with the beat of the drums as she waited for Stacie to show. She got there a bit early to ensure she could listen to some of her new playlist.

She saw something move out of the corner of her eye in the distance. But didn't bother to glance away from her phone screen.

Chloe had now arrived too. She saw Beca in the distance, clearly wrapped up in her own world of music. On one hand, she wanted to run over to her but on the other, she thought it'd be a bit creepy. Sure it was a public park but it'd still be weird.

So she made her way over, going the long way around, sticking to the edge of the park to avoid being spotted. She then sat on a bench that was a few feet away from Becas.

So far she was unnoticed which was good.

But then she felt even creepier for sitting so closely without saying hi. At least Beca had an excuse not to see her.

Chloe fidgeted with her thumb ring awkwardly. The park was pretty quiet so she found herself swaying to the sound of the music leaking from Beca's Beats. 'Is that Ed Sheeran? She said it wasn't her thing' it was safe to say she was content in that moment.

Content,

Until Beca looked up and their eyes met. They seemed to jump at the sight of one another. Beca was startled to see the redhead whereas Chloe was just startled that she had been spotted.

"So..." Beca slowly pulled her Beats down to her neck. She paused her music letting Chloe know she had her full attention.

"I'm not following you I swear!" Chloe quickly blurted out.

Beca seemed to ponder for a moment before she suddenly smirked "That bitch." She shook her head as a toothy grin made its way on to her face. At this Chloe was confused "What?"

"Stacie. You're waiting to meet Stacie right?" To that Chloe quickly nodded, that's when it hit her too. "She set us up didn't she," Chloe said awkwardly.

"Yup-p" Beca said popping the 'P' "well, this was fun" Beca then stood up and went to leave but the sound of rustling soon distracted her as a tall and leggy brunette emerged from a clearing between the trees and bushes.

"Sorry I'm late guys!" Stacie said innocently as she half-ran over. To say the girls were surprised to see her was an understatement.

"You uh, you actually came?" Beca said skeptically

"I'll be honest. I was just going to watch you from the bushes. But I do have the whole day planned sooo."

Both Beca and Chloe stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to make of the situation.

"Awesome, well you two can go do the things and I'll uh catch you later." Beca said as she started to walk backward but Stacie grabbed her wrist "Nope! I told you it was a girls day out. Meaning multiple. Meaning three! Us three. You both agreed to a 'girls' day out. So we're going to have fun together. As a three. Got it?" She said grinning as she linked Chloe's arm.

Beca looked grumpy but Chloe looked pretty excited now. "C'mon lets gooo" Stacie said dragging them towards her car. "I didn't pick you guys up for a reason. There's no way you'd of got in if you saw the other one sitting there."

And Beca for one, couldn't deny that was true.

Stacie had now successfully managed to get the two girls into her car.

Beca begrudged going in Stacie's car. It took away her freedom. She couldn't just drive off if she needed to and part of her thought Stacie planned that.

She leaned up against the back window of the car as Stacie drove them to whatever destination she had in mind. At this point, Beca just wanted to get the whole thing over with. It would be easy to act normal with Chloe, but she didn't want to. She was hurt and hadn't been given a good enough answer and that was all the reason she needed to be distant.

Chloe, however, seemed content. She was sitting in the front laughing about some past memory with Stacie.

Before long they arrived at the Space Center.

Of course.

Its Stacie after all her idea of 'fun' isn't typical.

Beca didn't care for being there. Not. one. bit.

Chloe, however, took an interest, but Beca was sure that she'd take an interest or at least try to look interested in almost anything if it was important to a fellow Bella.

Stacie was in her element. Snapping photos, snapchatting and dragging the two into selfies with all kinds of devices and modules.

It was exhausting to Beca.

And by the time Chloe returned from doing a rocket simulator even she looked tired. She staggered over, looking ill. "That was intense" she groaned to Beca as she almost fell, to the point that Beca had to catch her and hold her up.

She was clearly unsteady on her feet.

"Put your arm around me" Beca muttered as she watched Stacie dashing about with her phone in the distance. Chloe put her arm around Beca and let her support her. "I'm sorry..." She whispered softly.

"It's cool. These machines seem crazy. I mean they train on them right?"

"No, I mean--" but before Chloe could get any more words out Stacie came bouncing over. "It's a shame our tours come to an end" Stacie said with a pout.

"Well, I guess that's that," Beca said feeling relieved that it was over. "For the Space tour yeah" Stacie said shrugging "But! There's more. We're going to check out an old house where weird paranormal things have happened next! Annnd I've got a hike down a mountain trail planned And after that a steam train tour!"

Before Beca and Chloe could even react they found themselves being dragged to her car once again.

When would the nightmare end.

By the time Stacie had dragged them around the spooky house and scared the life out of Chloe even Chloe had reached her limit. She was exhausted, physically and mentally.

So when they reached the mountain trail she broke. Stacie was off in the distance at the time, fetching ice cream.

At this moment Chloe turned to Beca and grabbed her by the hand. "I can't take anymore! I love Stacie. I really do. But I just can't. I need to get away. Even if just for 10 minutes!"

Beca laughed "Okay. Good because I've been dying for the past 3 hours. I don't know how you lasted so long." They both then checked to ensure Stacie was distracted before bolting down the trail to get to a more secluded area.

Stacie glanced back to see they were gone. She smiled, placing the three ice cream cones into a holder before pulling out her phone.

Stacie: "I finally broke them" she said into her phone

Amy: "I'll admit. They're better friends than I thought they were. I'd of abandoned you long ago"

Stacie: "I told you they'd last to the trail. I mean it's Chloe. She's too nice. I knew none of this would interest them."

Amy: "Only you would plan for your friends to run off and leave you."

Stacie: "Well, it was the whole purpose! They needed to bond over something."

Amy: "Well at least you had fun. Did you get the flavors I liked?" Fat Amy asked

Stacie: "Yup. They asked for chocolate and vanilla but hey, I knew they'd bolt. So your flavors await you."

"Awesome. Because I'm here" Fat Amy said cutting the call as she stood behind Stacie licking her lips. "I've got to admit Stace. It's impressive just how much you could predict them"

"That's what happens when you major in psychology. Now, here's hoping our plan works. Maybe they'll finally talk. I don't think they'll be in a rush to find me."

Beca and Chloe sat on a bench, together this time. They looked exhausted but content. The view of the mountainside was surely something, the area was secluded and overlooked the trail's horizon perfectly.

"Hey Beca" Chloe said softly to ensure she had her attention. "The other day when I said I didn't know why... I-I lied."

Beca turned her head to look at her "go on,"

"Okay." Chloe exhaled sharply "I found myself falling for you. I'm in love with you Beca. I have been for years and part of me has denied it was possible, the other part of me is scared and the other wants you to be in love with me too."

Beca was taken aback. "Chloe..." "I know" Chloe threw her hands up "its stupid and selfish and doesn't justify me ignoring you for the past year and whatever. It just pained me to be close to you because you'd never feel the same and then... And then when I saw you at the venue I realized it pained me to be a part from you even more. I messed up, I'm sorry..."

Chloe stood up but Beca swiftly pulled her back down towards the bench "Wait" she said making Chloe turn to look at her. "Who said I'd never feel the same? I never once said that. Like. Jesus christ dude" Beca chuckled lightly "I've been in love with you since the moment you gave me that stupid card in the shower. You were the Bella I was referring to after all"

Before Chloe could respond Beca leaned in and pressed her lips against hers, Chloe melted into the kiss, her eyes teared up as she closed them, kissing the other girl tenderly.

The moment was disturbed by the sound of a camera clicking. Both of them opened their eyes, startled.

Stacie stood there grinning "okay so like, when you two plan to get married you'll thank me for capturing this moment" before they could so much as comment Stacie skipped off with Fat Amy following behind her, shooting the two a wink.

Both Beca and Chloe laughed before looking at one another and smiling.

"Where were we again?" Chloe said leaning close pressing her nose against Beca's.

"I think we were at the part where we start our life together."

"I'd like that. Let's make up for lost time Beca."

[assholemurphy]

so, birchbox screwed up and sent me 2 of the 1-year subscriber gift i got for paying for a full year. i’m not complaining. i’m gonna give a lot of it to my mom, since it was all the same. and i’m giving some of it to goldilocks bc i don’t need 2 water bottles and notebooks. but like, i’m thrilled with birchbox in general bc of the stuff they send. i got my dec box (finally, tho i ordered it like, less than a week before xmas, so it was fast shipping, all things considered). i also got my stim toys in. i bought a spinny necklace from etsy and the colors were not what i ordered, but it’s fine, i don’t feel like sending it back bc it still looks nice. i ordered from stimtastic (they’re cheap and have some cool stuff) and i got a spinner ring w/dinosaurs on it and two little pencil toppers (that i won’t be putting on pencils bc i use pens) that have little botls that you can spin and move. i’m v happy w/this.

i survived my surgery but i’m uncomfortable and in pain often. tho, the pain is getting more bearable, so i’m taking less pain pills (the rest i’ll probs get high on one day, lmao) but i’m doing better all around and i don’t feel like shit all the time, so it’s a good thing my gallbladder is gone.

i got my room cleaned and the rest of my apartment is looking good. there’s some little stuff i’ve got to do, but overall it’s much better than it was.

today was the first day of the spring semester. i’m taking 19 hours (bc i hate myself, obvs) so i’ll be busy af with work, but it’s fun work. my theatre classes have less work associated with them homework wise, but they’re gonna be intense with everything i’m learning and i’m so excited. i’m taking play directing, lighting design, and theatrical makeup. then for my poli sci minor i’m taking women & politics and civil rights & liberties. then i’ve got a random history class called debating the american presidency where we debate all the presidencies (tho, we’re assigned pro or con for our discussions, which will be interesting). i like them so far, tomorrow i get to see what w&p and pd are abt. then on thurs i get to go to cr&l bc it’s a one day a week class (so is tm, but it’s a mon class, ld and dtap are mwf). so far i’m loving this semester. i’ve got a 5-8 pg paper due by the end of the semester for dtap and i wanna do it over teddy roosevelt bc i love that bitch (he did a lot wrong, i’m no mindless stan, but like, love that bitch). i hope my prof approves it bc i bought 5 books abt him already (they were like $4 and i wanted them, anyway, plus i got a discount and free shipping). then i’ve got shop hours, 2 hours a week. i want to do wed at 1p-3p, but i’ll probs stay til 5p, so that’ll be 4 hours total.

anyway, rn, i want to write, but i feel bad for not replying to ppl on here, but like, being social is a little out of my wheelhouse rn. just the thought of talking to ppl stresses me out a bit and idk why, but it happens sometimes. i also need to cook, bc i’ve got auditions tomorrow and won’t be able to cook my meals for the week/month (not sure how much of everything i’ll make, probs enough for 2 weeks, at least). but before i can cook, goldilocks has to get her stuff out of my fridge, so, i guess i’m just gonna try to write a bit. sounds good. i’m v late on the next chap of tal.