#which i think is healthy and definitely what they need to sustain their relationship

[tripleyeeet]

i like the idea of domestic zay and astarion bonding and being absolutely sweet to one another but deep down in my heart i know that honeymoon phase would last a week tops before they’re yelling at each other like some toxic divorced couple again

[tuesday-teyz]

What’s your favorite BR duo?

Oooooo that's a good question! I will have to go with disc duo. There is a pretty clear distinction for me in which duos are fun to write, and those that I root for myself. Goldenduo is the former. Crimeboys, although very interesting in terms of complex relationships and such, I don’t really feel, if you get what I mean. Although Wilbur can have his good influences on Tommy, he is not the person Tommy needs long-term, which can be a surprising thing to hear from me because I've been writing them a lot lately.

Wilbur... tends to shift the focus towards himself. Aka when something happens, he is concerned about how it affects Tommy, but mostly because Tommy’s mood affects his mood – it is not innately out of pure concern for his brother, which cannot be sustainable forever. Dream is better in that regard. I think the best way to illustrate it would be in terms of Tommy’s suicidal ideation. We already saw the way Wilbur reacted to it, and it was perceived from the lense of how does it affect me? I feel hurt that you hurt yourself.

It's the same thing as telling a suicidal person that they can't do the deed because it would make their family and friends sad. Does it work? Definitely, there are many cases when it does. Is it healthy? I don't think so, because it shifts the focus from the person who actually needs help and diminishes the value of their life on itself to it's selfish of you to strip people of what you give them.

This is not something that Dream would do. He would definitely show that he cares, and would grief for Tommy, but his first and uttermost priority would be not to burden him with guilt on top of his other already overwhelming emotions. We kind of saw a glimpse of that in their hangover dialogue. Dream keeps the focus on Tommy, on his experience and emotions, offering consolation where he can. At the same time, their relationship isn't one-sided. Dream actively takes influence from Tommy, which actually pushes him to strive to be a better person. That's why I think that their brotherhood tops everything else in the story.

[marshmallowprotection]

do you think saeyoung would be ok with a mc that works a looot just like him??

i see a lot of people who really miss their partner bc of how much they work (WHICH IS COMPLETELY VALID BTW!!!) but that never happened in my relationship since both me and my partner work our asses off so there barely is a moment to actually miss each other

outsiders said i was kind of a bad partner for not having so much time to invest in my relationship when the amount of responsibilities is out of my control :( not to mention that i am too much of a perfectionist so i end up overlooking every single detail

ok sorry for the vent ksjansheb what are your thoughts in a situation like that?

Saeyoung will work himself into the ground when he has to. In the name of securing a safe and happy future for those that he loves most, he doesn't mind working until it feels like he's going to pass out. The fact is, that's not a healthy way to live.

It's one thing to enjoy your job and it's another thing to push yourself into the ground because you feel like you have to keep working to sustain something.

Every person who is considered a workaholic oftentimes is that way because they are consumed with hunting for a distraction of some kind and the easiest way to get that in a capitalist society is to bury yourself in work.

You're either looking for a distraction or the work you're doing is simply never enough and you don't know when to stop. It's good to be thinking of your work in a way that can benefit other people, not just yourself, but there is definitely a boundary line and he is the kind of person that needs to learn a healthy balance.

It's fine if you and your partner in both the consent and understand what it means to have a tough job, because some jobs are tough but necessary in our society.

But if not everybody is willing to consent to this, then it's not a healthy relationship. What matters is your consent and awareness of the situation. That's that. Nobody else can really comment about your relationship if the two of you are okay with the way that things are. Communication and conversations in this realm are important when you are in this kind of person. Not a bad person for enjoying the grind, but, it's important to know that your partner knows where you're coming from with that.

He would understand where you're coming from when you tell him that your work keeps you busy for all hours of the day. He knows what it feels like to be so tired because you've been working for 12 hours non-stop.

Of course, the circumstances are a bit different in this situation. He didn't have a choice but to work that long. You have a say in how much you work, more or less, so it does surprise him a bit that you would want to grind yourself into the brimstone no matter what your job is. He gets it. He can't judge it. He's no different.

But, his work I think is going to change drastically after he starts the healing process. He's not going to be working himself into the ground all the time anymore. It's fine if you are going to continue working hard at your job with long hours, but he's not going to be that way forever.

Of course, there is nothing to say that he wouldn't be content with being a little househusband. In fact, there's nothing wrong with that in his eyes. He's got enough money to take care of the two of you for the rest of his life if he wants to not work again. If you want to not work again. He understands why you do what you do and as long as you're willing to talk with him about your health and safety when it comes to these long hours, there's really nothing here that's bad.

[ladyofluxure]

Leveling up: Step 1

• Solve my unhealthy relationship with food & lose weight

Hello, girls! I am a companion and an SB. I’ve been in the business for a little over a year and the money is good. I’ve saved up more than I ever thought could’ve been possible in this last year. I love my life but I know very well that it could be WAYYY better if I decided to seriously dedicate myself into changing from the inside out.

The biggest issue that I currently have right now is my weight. I have a bad relationship with food and I tend to eat A LOT when I’m not hungry and not the healthy stuff. The consequence of that poor behaviour is that I am obese. I am well built and carry most of my weight in my ass, thighs, hips and boobs.. but I still don’t feel good about myself and I feel like it’s just getting worse.

I’ve lost weight in the past but always ended up gaining it back. That being said, when I lost the weight, I’d always feel better about myself and look extremely alluring. Thus, my desire to get back in shape.. also, I know damn well I’ll make way more money afterwards hihi

My Goal #1 is to have a normal relationship with food - eat when I’m hungry and not think about it when I’m not - and as a result, LOSE WEIGHT!

How? I’ve done so many diets and workout plans that were not sustainable for me. Right now, I just want to embrace a new lifestyle and do things that I actually enjoy and know that I will be able to keep up for the long run.

First of all, I know that I have to change my way of thinking around food and all the beliefs that I have about myself. I decided to hire a life coach/therapist who specializes in relationship with food to help me with my limiting beliefs and toxic thoughts regarding food and myself - I will be starting my session with her in October 3rd for a total duration of 10 weeks!

Secondly, I definitely have to make it a habit to be active daily. Not necessarily workout in the gym until I’m about to pass out but just to make sure that I get my body moving on a daily basis - ex: long walks, dancing, yoga, etc. With how out of shape I currently am, my goal for right now is to do daily walks of 30 minutes to 2 hours.

Of course, I have to start paying more attention to the quality, the quantity and the frequency of what I eat. I tour a lot because of my job so I order in more than I wish but that being said, I could still order a salad or something healthier than pizza and Chinese takeout.. Also, I was fat before I even started touring as a companion so it’s not even an excuse. Many girls travel the world and don’t gain a pound. I just need to follow my hunger cues and stop eating when I’m not hungry. Especially snacking at night. My goal is to make sure to eat fruits/veggies every day and to cut out refined sugar - chocolate is where I lose control.

The book:

I read « The Obesity Code » by Jason Fung and it was a great book to understand how insulin plays a huge role when it comes to losing/gaining weight. The key notes to weight loss are basically:

- Fasting is very important

- Reduce your consumption of added sugars (replace them with fruits, dark chocolate 70%+)

- Reduce your consumption of refined sugar and grains (flour & refined grains)

- Moderate your protein intake

- Increase your consumption of natural fats

- Increase your consumption of fiber and vinegar

To summarize this post:

My #1 priority right now is to take care of my mental & physical health so that I can lose the weight that is currently making me extremely unhappy and self-conscious.

To do so, I hired a life coach and will start sessions with her so that I can learn how to cope with my feelings other than to eat my heart out.

On top of that emotion/mental journey, I am also dedicated to a healthier lifestyle which will consist of intermittent fasting, reducing my consumption of refined sugar, eat more greens and be more active on a daily basis❤️

Stats

Height - 165CM/5’5 

BMI - 35

My weight on September 16, 2022: 96.25KG/ 212.19lbs

My current thoughts 💭:

Identity change that I am adopting

- I am a woman who only eats when she is hungry and stops as soon as she is no longer hungry

- I am a woman who is athletic (exercise daily)

- I am a woman who takes care of herself (daily hygiene routine, good sleeping pattern, grooming)

What plan I will be following for the next month:

1) Intermittent fasting - Follow hunger cues and only eat when hungry + no food after 8PM unless going out

2) Reduce consumption of refined sugar and replace it with fruits + reduce consumption of refined grains

3) Daily exercise - long walks or gym

4) Drink lots of water and green tea 🍵 💧

My goal for October 16, 2022 is to weigh 90KG.

*I will be doing a monthly update and let you guys know how I’ve been doing for the past month to keep myself accountable xx

[hextechmaturgy]

Do you have any headcanons for how Grief and Andrey's relationship is like? What do you think Andrey has done for the town's criminals? (i saw your tags on the voice lines reblog)

OH FRIEND...... YOU HONOR ME WITH THIS ASK YOU DO..... i got so excited to answer. i'm actually writing an angrief fic atm spanning from when they meet to when the game ends, but because i'm a very very very slow writer it's not coming out anytime soon. if you're interested tho wink i'd be happy to send u a very short sneak peak in dms wink

regarding headcanons tho, i'll try to be concise but honestly i have many unorganized thoughts and feelings about those two. should also be said that i have a timeline in my head for pre-game events that probably doesn't match canon at all, but it makes sense TO ME and time in pathologic is more of a suggestion anyway sooo hihi let's go

andrey is a bit older than grief; they meet at age 19/20. artemy is leaving and grief's losing his friends, his family. he's turning to gangs for company, which only further alienates him from lara and stakh. andrey is making friends for once, a rare thing after years on the run. his head's full of ideas, ideas that someone actually wants to hear, it's exhilarating. they meet at a plot of land where a staircase will stand one day, both immediately clocking Each Other™️, but the knowing looks go beyond a tick in their gaydar. andrey is a free man and grief wants to be free, desperately so, but he's also afraid. what will it cost him? grief fears the unknown, the steppe curses that keep him up at night, the scorn of his friends and the abandonment, the unknown. it's hard to be authentic, isn't it? andrey sees this struggle, understands the want to fight, the want for freedom. andrey tells him it's okay to want

that first meeting emboldens grief, sustains him when his family breaks for good. they don't see each other for months, and a lot changes for the two of them, but they still remember and all too well. andrey asked to see him again, grief is reluctant. just meeting the man was already impactful enough, he's relived it so often, lost in dreams. but he feels bold, andrey makes him bold. he finds andrey bleeding at his own bar. he needs stitches somewhere he can't reach, won't you help me out, sweet filin? he does. his hand trembles, his stitches are terrible. odd thing, piercing skin, sinking into another man's flesh. hope this doesn't awake anything in him!!!

(spoiler: it absolutely does)

it's probably not a huge surprise at this point if i state i write grief with internalized homophobia in mind, and a considerable amount of religious trauma too. the man he wants to be brings him to shame, and that reflex goes beyond sexuality yes but it's also about that. andrey is uncharacteristically patient. he'll push and prod, poke at the hidden layers behind those freckles he's memorized for some reason, but never goes beyond grief's limits. freedom shouldn't be scary. grief will evolve, he will grow, and andrey will look at him with pride in his eyes and something that is definitely not love (andrey only knows violence. what does he do with love?)

grief is becoming a proper criminal now, respected even if he won't cut, perhaps respected because he gets the job done without cutting. he becomes a seller of all things illegal, and andrey is always in the market for something dangerous. he wants a weapon that will allow him to get up close and personal, and he gets something personal alright. grief gives him a knuckle-duster, a gift. places it around his fingers to see how it fits, awfully gentle. it's not a ring, it's not a promise, they're not that ridiculous

(spoiler: they absolutely are)

the first outbreak is scary. peter suffers immensely from it and when peter suffers, andrey agonizes, but peter is fine...... grief wonders if the pest is divine punishment, if he's to blame for it somehow, but surely not....... they're both restless and healthy, alive, and they're sort of neighbors (oh my god they were neighbors). it's easier to call their INVOLVEMENT stress relief. neither is prepared for the truth really

friends who bang! andrey's got plenty of those and this one isn't any different, okay? barkeeps hear all sorts of juicy gossip, and if he happens to perk up at news on grief and his gang, it's only because andrey is a dangerous man too, and he's wise to look out for the goings on of the underworld. i'm actually still unsure what the line 'wasn't long ago he was on his knees, begging before me' is all about, but i'm convinced it's not horny, at least not 100%. they spend a lot of time on their knees before one another, almost anything andrey says sounds like a threat or a preposition. andrey is held responsible for the death of at least one man (rip farkhad) so he's probably feared in the town. his lifestyle alone shocks plenty of people. grief holds his men back with a "no stabbing, no shooting, no killing" leash, but we know they're able, we know some are willing. perhaps grief needed andrey to intimidate a gang member he was having trouble with, truly desperate, out of other solutions. i'm begging you for help, on my knees if i have to. those men are terrified of you, and frankly so am i (but not in the same way, oh never, somehow i know you would never kill me). it would explain why andrey brings it up to artemy during the second outbreak. grief's men will start misbehaving soon - i wonder if he will come crawling to beg again

i think they're amicable for the most part, their personalities bounce of one another. they're insistent on the just friends thing mostly out of habit. i know you will come if i need you, and we have plenty of fun together already. that's enough, no? what else could a bastard need

second outbreak is a mess and we all know just how much. apple basket reunion is awkward because hey grief why did the guy at the bar tell me about you being on your- how about we don't talk for a while? oh also, this is a small thing, but shout out to the day you find grief and peter at aspity's house. i laughed so much imagining that conversation, or the very OBVIOUS lack of one. peter isn't even really there, dozing off lost in his thoughts, and grief is nearby sweating bullets. be cool grief, be cool - wait why are you even trying to impress peter?

when the polyhedron dies - because she is alive, and she is dying - andrey is lost to senseless violence. he doesn't believe artemy's confession because that would mean killing grief's childhood friend. it's easier to be angry at thirty faceless men. we also know that grief is... NOT WELL, after the whole thing with aglaya. grief is sitting at a staircase (THE staircase that once wasn't here) and he stays there until it's dark, until it's light again. andrey finds him, drunk out of his goddamn mind, probably guided there by all the twyrine in his system. it's unsettling to not see her when he reaches the top, it's unsettling to not see grief as well. what can two broken men do but weep? they whisper to each other. come with me, let's kill them all. it's not worth it, nothing is anymore. i'll go without you. you'll die. do you care?

there's stuff i missed, stuff that probably doesn't make sense, i'm writing this at 6 am in a frenzy of angrief feelings because i love them. i love this ask, i had to reply or i wouldn't sleep. what happens after the game is a wonder to me as well. i've said before somewhere that p1 grief is who p2 grief could become after the diurnal ending. andrey is also going to struggle with his place in the world, mourning the loss of a perfect tower that can never be reproduced, of brilliance and hard work, probably mourning the loss of his brother too, not to the pest but to love. peter has grace now and i think that will be jarring, not being the only family peter has. the twins have only ever had each other, is andrey falling behind? how will he catch up? can he? twins are perfect opposites, he says: it's only natural that when peter starts to improve, andrey begins to degenerate

but i like to be hopeful, because i like these characters a lot (i know u would never be able to tell xoxo). two negatives make a positive, so maybe andrey and grief can be miserable together, and maybe then they'll realize that love is fit for bastards too

[lascapigliata]

am now well over halfway through my oscars challenge based on my own secret formula (aka guesstimating) so here is my ongoing microreviews post, for those curious

for some reason when i started writing i did this in order of # of nominees. don’t ask ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oppenheimer: way too long. even cillian murphy, who was great, cannot sustain 3 hours of biopic. i felt his character development was unearned and rushed. the acting was good all around (though it was so man heavy that i sort of forgot emily blunt was there, surprising that she got that nomination when may december is RIGHT there) and it was gorgeously shot but it just needed a solid edit both in writing and runtime. one of those movies that made me feel stupid bc everyone else liked it. to the tune of 13 noms :/ (i have been told by many that you need to see it in a theater. well then don't release it for home viewing i guess, sorry!) (edit - having watched maestro rustin and napoleon 👎 three mid to bad biopics - this has warmed in my memory)

poor things: mixed feelings. overhyped doesn’t cover it. beautiful to look at. great acting from everyone including emma stone and mark ruffalo who is having simply the time of his life. it’s very funny which i wasn’t expecting! but it felt all a little too affected, a little too Intentionally Weird. idk i really wanted to love it but it was just sort of like okay! watched that! ✅

killers of the flower moon: enjoyed it a lot. i thought lily gladstone was amaaaaazing - their role had potential to just be like melodrama and one-note but they brought so much depth to it. leonardo was fine but of the white people deniro was the standout. too long of course. i alternately remember it as better or worse than it felt in the moment, but even though i wasn't in a theater it was still a good time

barbie: my brother loved this and i thought it was okay. the first half in barbieland and her first fish out of water scenes in the real world were a ton of fun, and it sort of got boring-er from there. visually very clever and fun. but the politics were hollow. relationship between america ferrera’s character and her daughter was unconvincing. the last scene pissed me off so much bc it was just totally unnecessary- should have (spoiler) ended with her putting her heels down and the audience can infer the rest be saved 5 minutes of runtime. (you’ll be shocked to hear i thought this was too long)

maestro: awful. manages to flatten felicia bernstein and somehow doesn’t replace that missing character with anything of substance. neglects to focus on what made bernstein actually interesting by putting basic stock biopic oscar bait scenes together and forgetting about his actual life and accomplishments. i went in knowing i wouldn’t like it but hoping there’d be redeeming qualities and found nearly none. even the best scene - his conducting the mahler resurrection symphony - pales in comparison to just finding the real video of bernstein conducting which is available for free on youtube.

american fiction: great. in theaters so no concept of length but it didn’t drag too much. jeffrey wright did an AMAZING job - so funny and also so grounded. made me cry early on too which i was Not expecting lol. definitely some 😬 moments for me as a white woman but i think that’s healthy for us once in a while. as a side note it was oddly preceded by 15 min of horror movie trailers which was bizarre

anatomy of a fall: LOOVED IT. broadchurch vibes. watched it with a friend who’s a lawyer so we kept pausing to theorize bc it is a great movie for that and she also provided commentary on the courtroom techniques of the lawyers lol. was also thinking about it hours and hours later. such a good film. even understood some of the french lol. big warning for pet illness though - the dog survives but it was not fun

the holdovers: nothing revolutionary but such a sweet little movie. not a huge amount to say about it - watched it on a plane and that was kind of the perfect vibe. i did think that da’vine joy randolph did a fantastic job. a good time. idk that it’s Best Picture worthy but who even knows what that award means

the zone of interest: technically impressive on every level (yes, including sound, which it should win) but i didn’t love it. i guess it’s just that i feel like “look! the mundanity of evil!” was not enough to carry this - it is SO mundane and SO jarring that halfway through i kept just being like “yeah yeah i get it” which itself is ironically kind of normalization but not the way the film intended. but i do think this is more a personal preference issue than actual issues with the movie.

napoleon: quite bad. boring, unfocused. couldn’t decide if it was about the marriage or his ambition and yet didn’t give josephine a character nor made thrilling battle sequences. unfortunately all i will remember is how they randomly used pride and prejudice’s soundtrack out of the blue (indicative of its equally unfocused score), and how joaquin phoenix had an american accent while everyone around him didn’t. also… too long!

the creator: pretty good! not a particularly innovative story but honestly it’s nice to see a good movie done right. hans zimmer rare W these days. john david washington still isn’t the greatest actor but it’s no big when ken watanabe is right there. the vfx are indeed very good. it even tackled western imperialism ok i thought though i obviously welcome discussion here!

past lives: beautiful touching etc. not an easy watch but i loved it. sort of found a great melancholy middle ground that didn’t feel maudlin but certainly wasn’t very happy. unbelievably that greta lee received no nomination for her phenomenal work (or teo yoo or john magaro for that matter). great length too - a perfect 1h45. just well done all around

society of the snow: great little disaster movie if slightly uneven. gorgeously shot for one thing. the tension is well done though i think it ended too… tidily. the fundamental problem i have tho is that if i was in their situation i’d have no qualms about eating people but that’s not the movie’s fault. the music reminded me of giacchino so i couldn’t help but make lost comparisons but that's also not the movie's fault lol. (edit: the music is literally BY giacchino and i thought i'd looked it up. it's a good score! he knows what he's doing!)

may december: LOVED IT!!! fantastic length, fantastic acting. as the great harry styles said it’s nice to see a movie that’s a real movie. i can’t wait to watch this again, i thought the writing was fantastic and it’ll gain a lot on rewatch too. would have loved more focus on the relationship with the kids, but that’s just because i personally found it fascinating. annoying it was only nommed for best screenplay when the acting was so good - yes especially charles melton!!

rustin: not as good as i wanted it to be. all the acting is fantastic especially (unsurprising) colman domingo, but i agree with reviews that said it avoided some of his more radical politics and that the love triangle was not super well executed, and i personally thought the end felt super rushed. it was just too biopic-y. but there was a lot to recommend it anyway just on acting alone though honestly

the color purple: enjoyed it a lot! never saw the original movie but it def smoothed away some stuff from the book in a way that doesn’t surprise me at all but was still too bad. there were clearly songs cut from the show bc there was a huge chunk in the middle with no singing lol. the acting was universally good but i cannot lie danielle brooks stole the show every second she was on screen. the music itself was great too and i think the director really dug into the musicalness of it which is so necessary in something like this. (end credits were particularly good!)

across the spiderverse: what is there to say about this that hasn’t been said. the first movie was much tighter in terms of plot / writing. the politics of this one were sort of a mess. but the animation was so spectacular that it sort of sanded over the flaws i saw in it in my memory and i'd be happy if it won

the boy and the heron: a lovely movie. miyazaki hasn’t lost it. i’d love for this to win best animated as i suspect it will. beautiful visually, very like pan’s labyrinth vibe plot wise. hard to say a lot here bc it was just very good, very solid. + miyazaki simply loves an old wrinkly lady and you know what i think that’s great. deserved a nom for score over fuckin indiana jones for sure

robot dreams: i wanted to adore this but instead i just liked it. it was beautiful and sweet and a nice love letter to new york and everything but i hated the ending lol. it’s a huge swing though with no dialogue and only one real song and you gotta give them points for that! plus it is genuinely sweet and everything. i just was pissed at the literal last scene lol

elemental: better than i expected it to be but still basically eh. some of the technical work is SO impressive - like the non-anthropomorphic water - that it actually highlights how Animated the characters are. but i don’t regret watching. highly recommend doing so stoned if that’s your jam because the animation really is the cool part - pixar’s stories have rly become very templated and boring

nimona: iirc a fun movie, but nothing like jaw dropping. can't evaluate it objectively though bc it wasn't the book and the book was better, unsurprisingly. i watched it a long time ago, it didn't leave a huge impression; i remember it was a cute adaptation. mainly i don't think nimona surpassed suzume (and pixar was always going to get that nomination no matter what), so mostly i'm bitter that suzume wasn't nominated sorry

dial of destiny: fell asleep the first time i watched it, got distracted the second time. it was... fine? the deaging was AWFUL, i'm glad it did not get a makeup or vfx nom, it literally just looked like a videogame and it still SOUNDED like 70yo harrison ford. the score was fine but the same thing john williams has been doing for this franchise since 1981. just like… an unnecessary movie idk

[willowfey]

this is a soapbox i never get on but that exists in my head. often when people talk about enemies to lovers i think it would be more accurate to describe it as nemesies to lovers and i wish more people distinguished between the two.

like, to me at least, when character B is described as/positioned as character A's enemy? they're someone in the story who is actively against and harmful to character A. that's the person character A has to stop or they'll end up experiencing the harm they're trying to avoid. enemies to lovers would mean that one or both of the characters would have to change significantly as a person & leave their old approach to being a human in the world, and make amends for the way the old way hurt the other if it's going to turn into a sustainible and healthy relationship. (i specify this bc i know not everyone wants to read about healthy/realistic pairings, & reading about characters' dysfunction can be fun, no judgement there).

and with nemesies to lovers, like. that's a dynamic both characters involved are choosing even though they have other options. their goals might be in conflict or competition, but their worldviews and ways of living in the world aren't mutually exclusive/in major conflict - they might not be in conflict at all. and the competition or conflict between their goals going away or otherwise changing might be the only thing that needs to happen before they become lovers in a healthy & sustainable way - they can be fundimentally the same people with the same worldviews and ways of living their lives, unlike with enemies to lovers.

and like, both can be very enjoyable to read! they're dynamics i LOVE. but the fan content that exists for these dynamics often isn't my taste. i have fun reading both stories where characters both make each other worse and stories where they grow as people together, but so often when reading for dynamics like this people write two characters behaving very poorly to one another and you can tell that they don't see it that way. they see it as acceptable/behavior to expect from a partner or from them towards a partner/sometimes even as an aspirational relationship dynamic.

this isn't a wish that people stop ever writing any fics that i disagree with or that i dislike. everyone's at different points and experiencing the world in different ways. but i'm pretty sure this frustrates me so much because it feels like if there were more words in use whose definitions were broadly agreed upon it would be easier for me to curate my experience of the internet to be more to my tasting. my annoyance at the current state of affairs is relatively minor compared to the joy i take out of engaging with fan stuff as a hobby, but it'd still ne a hell of a lot nicer if i could avoid that annoyance all together.

ohhh so true so true. genuine enemies to lovers has its place for sure, but enemies to lovers is a very specific thing isn’t it? and when most people say they want enemies to lovers, they DO mean nemeses or, quite honestly, rivals. like, for the most part (at least in terms of the common depiction of this, bc everyone likes different things) what people really want is challengers to lovers. they want A and B to bring out the best and worst in each other, to disagree and engage in emotionally fuelled conflict usually stemming from the ways in which they’re similar and don’t realise it.

like…. common “enemies to lovers” trope: two players on opposing sports teams. they are not opposites. they are not enemies. they are two people that want the exact same thing, and the conflict is that they cannot both have it at once. thus, rivals and a mutual dislike that, in a romance, is made more extreme by underlying feelings they don’t realise… thin line between love and hate etc etc (except, again, not genuine hate. dislike. discomfort.). or maybe it’s a flower shop and tattoo artist au — on the surface, they want completely different things, and detest each other for being so opposite from them. but rly, they’re the same; they’re both passionate about what they do, they both want to please their customers. they’re more alike than they are different.

enemies are not alike at all. like you said, enemies are two people with two majorly conflicting mindsets. usually one of them seeks to actively harm because, if you’re not seeking to actively harm, most people are gonna end up having more similarities than differences and when you’re reading a romance, you need both of those to make it compelling. (unless it’s a They Make Each Other Worse kind of indulgent writing, in which case, that’s fine usually just. not the same thing)

and as well as that, i agree, one of my biggest pet peeves in reading is when someone writes what they’re calling enemies to lovers and it’s just… these people are awful to each other with no nuance, and then one person confesses love out of the blue with nothing to back it up, and now suddenly they’re mushy and lovey and it just. is technically bad writing but also, personally, not enjoyable at all to read. (like if you’re in love with someone secretly and your love language is teasing, you’re not gonna be genuinely abusive and harmful and awful. you’re just not. that’s not love. that’s obsession.) (people who love you might want to annoy you. they won’t want to make you feel genuinely horrible. please know this difference for your own personal safety if nothing else.)

enemies to lovers in the general way people want it shouldn’t really be enemies to lovers. enemies to lovers should be “this person drives me up the fucking wall because of pent up emotion and our similarities clashing and the ways they challenge me and understand me but also i’m dramatic so i’m gonna call them my enemy bc they’re being a bitch and annoying me”

you know???

and, as you said, the problem isn’t that both of these things exist. the problem is that there’s only one term to be used both for “these people are opposites” and “these people only think they are” and, usually, a person is looking for one or the other. and yeah, i can easily click out if i read for a moment and realise the dynamic isn’t at all what i’m looking for, but it would be nice if there were widely agreed upon ways of separating the two, wouldn’t it??

(moral of the story: if you truly hate someone, you won’t find them hot. if you hated someone and now you find them hot, it’s because they underwent significant growth and transformation. or you did. or you both did. if you think you hate someone but secretly think they’re hot… sorry babes, you’re just challenged and annoyed and probably sexually frustrated 🤙🏻)

[tkeyahwrotethis]

I'm so Groovy, I Got Power. Oh, That's Your Bitch? I Just Bought Her.

Everything in the United States is a utopia and everything has been harmonious. The playing fields of equality are leveled. The workweek is fair enough that people have a very balanced work and home life and can sustain quality lives. A couple of groups of people were unhappy with how peaceful things were and decided to cause a bit of commotion. A powerful new superweapon was created by an elite few. They decided to give this type of power to all types of people, but mainly to people they deemed equals, whatever that may look like. They also gave it to a few select people who were their opposite in every sense of the definition to study how the weapons were used in different demographics of people. The only condition was the superweapon couldn’t be given a name, making it very hard to talk about when it came to just how powerful it is and how much influence it had on the people that had it and people that were around it. 

I never really thought about the superweapon. It was always this abstract thing that affects me but doesn’t control me. For instance, I’m a florist. If I need some seeds, or grow lights, or plants. I will work really hard for the elite few so I can have enough superweapons in my arsenal to fund the life I want to live at the moment. & then I immediately quit because it doesn’t control me. My happiness comes from my gardens not from the superweapon (& that statement is so important). 

Snakes do get a bad rep for being snakes. They are very predictable though and when you encounter them as much as I do while gardening you start to expect and anticipate them. You could start feeling bad for them. You can start to see the beauty in them. You can speak to them affectionately, spare their lives, keep them safe, and view them as pets. But at the end of the day, a snake is a snake and they will always do snake things… like bite you. It’ll always be your fault for getting close to a snake because you know better. The snake is just being itself. 

The first guy I ever let in my garden to help me with the flowers, we’ll call him Adam. He seemed very perfect so naturally, I wanted a relationship with him and he surprisingly enough went along with it. The relationship got sexual very quickly and our sex life was healthy. The healthiest sexual relationship I had ever been in and above all he made me feel happy. I had my garden and I had my love… it’s easy for the negative aspects of the world and the thoughts of the superweapon to kind of fade away when you have passion and love in your life which I did at that time. When Adam made love to me it felt like I was the only person in the world he was so passionate and so attentive to my body. He made me cum constantly and he was the furthest thing from a selfish lover. He was unlike any guy I had ever dated before. He gave me retrospective jealousy. I hated everyone that ever came before me that taught him to be this sexually gifted but also thank you because he is amazing. I hated everyone he ever fucked in the past and damned every orgasm he ever gave before mine because I felt it from every part of my body the orgasms pulsated through me and just as easily as he consumed my body he consumed my thoughts and my heart. I felt vulnerable and emotional when we were apart. He pulled out a level of depth in me that he didnt deserve, but I didnt realize it at the time. You can’t blame a snake for doing snake shit though. The more needy I became, the more distant he became. Gardening became a source of stress because although I loved it, now certain flowers made me think of Adam. He was distant and preoccupied with God knows what. He’ll say work, he’ll say superweapons, he’ll say gym, he’ll say sleep, he’ll say friends. Snake shit that I have to be understanding about because he’s probably always been this snake, he’s just new here, to me, in my garden.

Adam showed up in my garden after some time apart and distance that made me unsure of his love for me anymore. I could tell he wasn’t himself. His eyes seemed a lot sadder than usual and he brought an older man with him that he introduced to me as his father. His father brought such hostile energy I felt it before he even spoke. This was our first encounter and on the first impression he thought to scream at me and belittle me in MY garden. He wore a suit and tie and dress shoes. I suppose there’s no such thing as overdressing, but a condescending nature to him was everpresent. 

His father’s eyes had a ton of rage and maybe a bit of jealousy. He was acting panicked like a caged animal. He screamed at me asking what do I want from Adam?? What has he done for you?? What does Adam have that you want?? Superweapons??? I turned my head so fast to look at Adam I thought I had whiplash. I screamed at Adam, “ SUPERWEAPONS?? When have I ever asked you for ANY superweapons??? Tell your dad you and I never even talk about superweapons how dare he!!!” Adam is a punk. He just looked down at the ground with such focus like something was interesting going on with the ants.

I put my hands on my head, inhale and exhale, and drop my hands in defeat. I turn to Adam and calmly ask him what is going on? Why did you bring your father to my garden? Do you think I love you for superweapons I didnt even know you had? He just continued looking all sad and pathetic and never answered me once. Then his dad grabbed me up, yolked me up, and kissed me hard. It was the hardest I’ve ever been kissed before, I could almost compare it to being headbutted but our lips touched and he forced his tongue in my mouth. I was so shocked. I pushed his dad and I screamed for Adam telling him that I loved him, not his father. I don’t want his dad or their superweapons. What is going on why did you bring him? just talk to me. His father tackled me to the ground in my garden like we were playing football and he whipped out his dick. It was uncircumcised and huge. He shoved superweapons in my hands and said this was what I came for right? I screamed for Adam again and told him I’m so sorry he thought he had to bring his dad and I really didnt want this I’m so sorry please don’t let him do this to me. His dad forced my legs open ripped my panties off and forced himself inside me. In my own garden he took my pussy for such a long time I cried and fought. When he was finished he told me I better not tell anyone because he was married. In between sobs, I told him I would never tell anyone. He zipped up his dress pants, fixed his suit and tie, and told Adam it was time to go. 

I never did see Adam or his father again, but I still really love Lillies. 

[fieldnoting]

01.10.24

grateful for the clarity that was reflected back to me by times i was least expecting it;

a combination of solitude last week, focused writing in october, many relationshippy talks over the last year, and the recognition now that i let go of things a little too late because i'm afraid of the change that will ensue

decluttering my room looool / watching caroline winkler talk about hoarding and emotional attachments - something finally clicking about not just my being afraid to do certain things but how i would be stuck in this particular way if i stayed afraid

s who was like "cleaning my room changed my personality"

illusory fear & illusory prerequisites

the triage of questions - do i have enough time, can i trust in my present ability, can i trust in my ability to adjust accordingly

[seeing a, who is 21, and n, who is 29 - people four years younger and older than me, embodying a way of living i admire very much]

believing in the day to day, in being alive and working at things on a day to day, not just with an end destination // the definition that n shared about faith [in life?] as believing there will be time to get everything you want to

[my want to not treat relationships as disposable and then my unwillingness to part; part of that is also my needing to be live & engaged if not attached - wanting someone to be cared for even if i can't be that person]

recognizing how strongly activating the fear of abandonment keeps me from becoming attached; but also, how that fear is also the manifestation of care and love

recognizing how much someone is like family to me, but they need not remain attached to me in this particular way [and me being afraid of losing them, their only wanting to be in my life in a specific form]

on my in/out list for this year -- out: relying on others for self-respect / in: remembering that no one can take that from you // out: extreme oscillations between enmeshment and estrangement in: nurturing space for oneself & connection in ways that encourage me to grow and stretch sustainably [sharing joyful moments and tough times]

w n, talking about how love can take different forms, reminiscing about the sweet pod that was them, s, c, and me - how our relationships to one another have dramatically changed since then

when s asked about the difference between self-trust, confidence, and faith. the glasses of makgeolli he, n, and i gabbed about this over

r, talking about the need to stay with the uncertainty around money ["my mother is the boot heel of capitalism"]

sigrid nunez [via n] - "when i think of the men i've been with every one of them stood between me and my writing" - which made me recognize how i behave in every romantic relationship i've had so far has gotten in the way of me learning how to show up for myself

1) work really pre/figures one's life for better and for worse 2) my relationship to work is v bad 3) i need a lot of space to form a healthy one to work and constructively move through discomforts -- work in the sense of what it feels to feel like a wholly alive player in my life

with s, taking the 22 in the reverse direction to the point i used to commute to from the other side of the city, talking about platonic friendships; our laughing-til-we-cry about the silly little guys we have liked who our friends would (or simply did) not like at worst, were indifferent to at best

[alarrytale]

No adult or fans who had digged a bit into TZP would think that at all (suggar daddy thing)

TZP don’t need money, he has earned his own money since he was 14 years old and paid his whole college by himself which is insane. Bc of hard working, even swimning at a very high level like 12 times a week he even found time to work and go to school.

And honestly it’s noticeable that he worked, but that he also had a teenage life and studied.

I'll die on this hill for this :-)

Here are some asks about tzp and gg, and their relationship.

I find it insulting for Garrett to call him a predator. So Tom D is also with a predator ??! From what we see from the outside and very fragmented TZP-Garrett is a nice couple, wich passions and interests complement and accompany each other. And they are very beautiful and go very well together.

(Even if I don't agree, know that your blog is a joy to read, by the quality of the opinions of anons and your responses, so thank you)

There’s no pics of TZP and GG between 2012 and 2015. While they’ve definitely known each other since 2012, I’m doubtful they started dating till 2015 and then they married 3 years later in mid-2018.

For Taylor’s sake I hope that’s the case. 20 is too young to settle down. There’s plenty of pics of Taylor out and about LA between 2012 and 2015 but with people his own age from his modelling days. As long as he had those experiences a young person did before he decided GG was the one for him, I think it’s healthy and fine. GG seems to be able to keep up with TZP’s need for outdoors-y adventures.

also about tzp and garrett, they’re both working on the sustainable fabric/textiles thing (tzp could be promoting his husbands company and bringing attention to it too but 🤷‍♀️) they both seem family oriented and have some of the same goals/interests, so it works

Hi, all of you!

First of all i didn't say GG is a predator. I said predatory behaviour aka using his power, authority and position towards a vulnerable, impressionable, and good looking person to take advantage of them. I think an 11 year gap is too much when one of them is only 20. Even if you aim to have an equal relationship at that age, when the older one is the one with the money and the younger one is the one with the looks and no money, it's not something that's really achievable. There is going to be a power imbalance. GG, as the one in the position of power should have stopped it. But, like the other anon said, even if they met at 20 and 31, it's not a given that they started dating then. I haven't verified any of this. On the other side, the ones claiming to know all this, says they've been dating since 2012. So idk.

Either way, it doesn’t really matter now. 31 and 42 isn't that bad of an age gap. They're married and seem happy and equal in their relationship. They support each other and both their families seems accepting. It's working well for them.

[laurelwinchester]

Ok HTLGI thoughts! I know Dean was ticked off about what Sam said but I think Sam made some good points in their Kitchen Talk. As much as I love Laurel she's not at all mentally healthy. Her illness isn't her fault but it is her responsibility. Mary deserves a stable home and she doesn't have that right now. I could be wrong but I feel like that's all Sam was trying to say. He could have said it better so I understand why Dean was pricky but Sam wasn't wrong about Laurel.

oh, sam definitely made some good points!

there was truth in dean's theory that sam's sudden anti laurel stance has to do with resentment. dean now takes care of laurel in the way he was not able to take care of sam when he was going through his own mental health and addiction crisis during the apocalypse years and sam feels some type of way about that. let's just put that out there right now. dude's jealous of his brother's sick wife. that's where he's at. (not his best look. also not his worst.) because. i mean. they wouldn't be dean and sam if they weren't being at least a little unhealthy about each other at all times.

but there was also a lot of truth in what sam said. he wasn't all the way right about everything and he did push too hard, as he tends to do with dean, which never ends well, and the delivery was probably a little harsh, but he wasn't entirely wrong. in fact, his main message (which you were right on the money about) was entirely correct.

what dean and laurel have going on right now is not sustainable long term and it is not a healthy environment for their child. it's like you said. it comes down to responsibility. they have a responsibility to their daughter to provide her with a safe and healthy home life. she does not have that right now.

they owe it to her to work on themselves and their relationship and better it all for her. laurel needs treatment for her mental health, dean needs to stop enabling, and they both need to actually be the team they think they are.

i'm just not sure either of them have the tools needed to do that right now. they certainly don't have the focus or the emotional bandwidth. and they're so stubborn. which is going to be their biggest hurdle. i mean, look at dean in this chapter. laurel told him she wanted him to be her husband and not her caregiver and he just admitted that he doesn't understand the difference and doesn't even really want to. and laurel -

well.

i don't want to spoil the next chapter but, uh. laurel is currently having a worse day than dean and mary....

[notyourparentstherapist]

So I know I've been processing some personal content lately. So let's switch it up and discuss the other side of this. My role as a therapist.

Cw mental health, therapy, higher levels of care, hospitalization, safety issues, psychology.

I find myself often looking at my therapy degrees and my licence wondering how in the world I got here. Honestly this is my dream job.

I'm not a traditional therapist. While I do have some respect for the psychoanalytic and psychodynamic practices they are not where I live. I use them sometimes. Like anything else I view schools of psychology like schools of thought which all have helpful tools and frameworks.

By definition I fall under "humanistic" psychology. My MA came from a program that was affiliated with Carl Rogers who's main thing was simply meet the client where they are at. Remove the agenda. Be with the person. See the human under all the symptoms. Which I LOVE.

My degree is in holistic mental health counseling specifically. Which means my approach is more integrative and my process is oriented towards helping people live in tune between domains of life and connecting mind/body/spirit. This can look different for everyone. Basically I want to help restore the connection between the body, brain, emotions, behaviors, and help folks process, explore, and gain skills to help empower them to live healthy lives. According to them. They set the goals.

I work mostly with complex trauma, dissociation, and with LGBTQIA+ folks. I use a multidimensional approach of wanting to be mindful of systems that could be impacting clients. I use techniques to help encourage a safe and consistent therapeutic relationship.

My therapy can seem unstructured. Some days it's talking and processing, others it's problem solving and skill building, sometimes it's expressive arts therapy or sharing laughter. Sometimes it's safety planning. Sometimes it's sharing memes. However I follow Judith Herman's three phase model. 1. Safety and stabilization. 2. Remembrance and mourning. 3. Reconnection. If you are a therapist and have not read her book Trauma and Recovery then get on it.

I have an extensive background in safety. I worked and did my clinical internships at a partial hospital for teens and adults. I worked there for three years as a program coordinator helping train new clinical interns and making sure the program ran ethically and sustainably. I loved this job so much. I just got so burnt out. My main lesson I took was I'd rather work with my client one on one before sending them to the hospital.

I know it's controversial. I have been told I have a too high tolerance for unsafe behaviors. I. Don't. Care. If me checking in by phone for 10 minutes for a week helps my clients stay safe and not hospitalized. I will do that. The system is broken and traumatizing.

Obviously I collaborate. If my clients vocalize they want a higher level of care then I'm not going to try and sway them. My job is to provide informed consent. I don't live their life. I can't tell them what's best. What I can do is provide support within my limits.

So if I can avoid calling 911 or getting an NP or LICSW to section someone. I will. I would much rather build a community based support plan to keep folks from being in the ER for days and in a locked unit. I know it has been helpful for some and I am beyond grateful that is the case.

However my job as a therapist is to listen. How can I ask my clients to trust me if I don't trust them? How can I ask them to share their pain if I don't show I can hold it with them without reacting in a negative way. Sometimes people need a safe place to express how they feel. And that can take the form of really really dark stuff. And that's okay. I only use hospitalizations as a last resort if there is no way to keep someone safe. But I'd rather fucking try.

I am not trying to be on my high horse about this. However I think therapists can do better. Get trained. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's not fair that there is an unfair power dynamic here. Especially important to be mindful of this when working with folks with trauma.

Idk.

End rant for now.

[relationshipsshrink]

Split Decision Or A Decision To Split?

Today’s Advice Highlights:

Can a relationship sustain differing political views?

What happens when there’s no middle ground?

Why political views do not equal personal values – not entirely, anyway

Dear Dr. Deb,

Used to be I could talk politics with people closest to me without both sides getting heated. I don’t know how this happened, but it’s a different world now. It seems like expressing political beliefs almost always devolves into a fight.

My partner and I have been together for three years. We’re both seriously committed and, I had hoped, in it for the long haul. But my hope ends where our political beliefs split.

I’m embarrassed to admit that sometimes when my partner expresses her views, I feel sick to my stomach. We end up in ugly shouting matches. I end up wondering if we should continue to work on it or go our separate ways.

I know there’s still some love and respect between us, but I don’t know how to navigate our political differences.

I see and hear that this seems to be happening to more and more couples, so I know I’m not alone in this struggle. What’s missing is helpful advice about how to resolve this.

Dr. Deb, please let me know if there’s another option other than throwing in the towel. What am I missing here?

Sincerely, Mr. Bitter Half

——————————————————-————————————————---

Dear Mr. Bitter,

You and your partner are facing a very challenging question: Can two people with divisive political views ever fit together?

This is an urgent and complicated issue, and there really isn’t a definitive answer. Each couple must come to the resolution on their own terms.

But here’s the biggest question you might want to ask yourself:  Should political beliefs be the primary and dominating focus in choosing a life partner?  In other words, if two people love each other, should their politics really matter?

I think it’s quite common for people to want to choose a partner whose political views align with theirs. My patients have told me that on dating apps, for example, you can state your ideologies on your profile and, in some cases, use it to filter out people who don’t match with your values and beliefs.

Let’s face it, how one feels about politics is more than just table talk. Political views can influence everything from how children are raised, how money is spent, to the kinds of friends one chooses.

The bright side is that there are many more factors than politics that contribute to the longevity and success of a relationship. In order for you and your partner to build a strong relationship and successfully tackle life’s road blocks, your core values must align to a significant extent.

Think about how you got this far in the relationship. Are you fulfilling each other’s emotional needs? Are your values, deep down, compatible? Is there a strong level of trust between you? Do you share interests? Is there sexual satisfaction? Most importantly, are you both ready to take care of each other through all the major life events you have yet to encounter?

Quality relationships are built on a healthy fusion of differences. Any attempt to make your partner ‘just like you’ will doom the relationship. I’ve seen it happen many times. You each have your own maps of the world, which, by the way, are right for you both as individuals. Try using your political differences as an opportunity to learn more about each other rather than pull you apart.

Navigating your political differences comes down to how well the two of you communicate. When discussing politics, I suggest you disagree with respect, approach your girlfriend with curiosity, listen without interruptions, and accept that life isn’t black and white.

Mr. Bitter, your heart wants what it wants, and in your case, it may want someone with a political outlook different than yours. I don’t see this as irreconcilable. It will simply come down to recognizing if the relationship is worth fighting for.

Finally, two very important things to remember in the process:  Don’t drink and talk politics.  And whatever you do, keep politics out of the bedroom.

Sincerely, Dr. Deb

Do you have a burning question – Your comments in response to a column are welcome. ​I will do my best to answer as many of your questions as I can.

Click here to send your question.

[daechwitatamic]

I'm so sad MFFMHH is over, but man did I love it!

Firstly, I love that this whole experience gave her an unexpected chance to get closer with Lin. I think that the reader having that realization that she never knew Lin felt that way connected the whole emotional arc she went through to understand how she's maybe been pushing love and family away in more than one form. And that her overall healing is not a matter of just swapping Namjoon out for Taehyung. "For the first time, you’re starting to see family as something you have to build." That line will stay with me! I thought it was so well-crafted to include this subplot as part of the story.

I definitely feel like we got the Taehyung redemption arc I was looking for! I'm so glad they had this conversation. Without putting the actual term to it, I think they were both able to realize that their relationship was a bit co-dependent, which is completely understandable given that they bonded through trauma, but wasn't healthy to sustain. I also really appreciated that while at the beginning of the story it felt a little bit like the reader was the one who clung to Taehyung, he ended up realizing how much he relied on her to cling to him right back. He was relying on her for his emotional needs, and neglecting his chance at finding love just as much! And I think it was really important for reader's closure to be able to hear him admit this. I also appreciated how realistic it was that after they made up, they didn't easily fall back into a regular pattern of friendship and things remained a bit distanced and awkward. Especially because these two really don't share a lot of common interests like Namjoon and reader, they don't have a lot to fall back on and have to rebuild their friendship from scratch. I love that we got to see a few moments of them navigating this new way of being, and that it was left a bit open-ended whether or not they will ever be able to be "best" friends again.

And finally... not Namjoon casually having a whole plan, founded on extensive research, inside of his head for their future that he just assumed they were on the same page about. If that isn't the most Namjoon behavior.

Congrats on completing another great series, Jo! I know you have some other small things in WIP, but hope you enjoy a much-deserved break for a bit. I'm sure Bangtan will give us plenty of things to scream together about in the meantime.

(Ok but also what Christmas movie was reader watching with Mr. Kim? I desperately need this information to complete my mental picture.)

🌴

I~~ am sad it's over!! what am i supposed to do now? my JOB??? no thank you!!!

I'm so glad the stuff with Lin hit - if I could redo the series now I'd give more time to this plotline earlier in the story. oh well!

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees i'm so glad you found the resolution with tae satisfying!!!! he DOES love her, he DOES need her, and they both needed to address what the boundaries of that should be!! what they had was beautiful when they were young and needed each other but it's not sustainable as adults with their own lives!

odjkahfskjshflkajh ISN'T THAT PEAK NAMJOON like oh i researched all this last week, you didn't know???? bro???? the rest of us live OUTSIDE that big brain???? i love him :') so much :')

bangtan will give us NOTHING to scream about because they are ALL!!!!! going to put their SHIRTS BACK ON and LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

(Christmas movie..... insert your fave..... In my head there are muppets and a song that says "no cheese for us meeses" >_> but honestly even hallmark shit will do, i LOVE the dumbest dumbest dumbest christmas films, the dumber they are the more christmas cheer i get lmfaoooo)

[bestlifestyleguide]

What do you mean of lifestyle?

Typing the word “way of life” calls to thoughts a carousel of photographs: social media influencers staging the same photo in front of a Santorini sundown, colourful dinner plates shot from above, magazines devoted to profiling the homes of the rich and the famous. The idea of life-style is tousled inside the type of conspicuous intake that social media allows; but it also undergirds predominant sociopolitical conversations.

Think approximately all the ways life-style has been deployed in just the closing six months. It’s used to describe how American habits have changed because of coronavirus. It’s at the coronary heart of the perennial “leaving New York” essay and anti-essay. Most importantly, it describes the methods in which white lives in America had been made simpler on the price of Black safety, health and prosperity.

Lifestyle isn't always only a few throwaway term to indicate a sure sort of Instagram image. Lifestyle is decided by using our reminiscences, our recollections assist us create which means, and which means publications our relationship to gadgets–through extension consumerism, through extension the rules that govern who deserves what.

I started penning this essay nearly a yr ago as a way to grapple with the through line of my paintings: the relationship among human beings and gadgets and the methods wherein the Internet has changed this connection. I wanted to create a framework for know-how the idea of lifestyle as it has been used inside the twentieth and twenty first centuries... But there may be so much to mention that doesn’t healthy into one essay.

As I write these phrases, California is on fire. An rebellion in opposition to police violence has swept the kingdom. Our fascist president is tweeting about the “suburban way of life dream,” whilst Kingston, NY has the fastest growing domestic fees of any metropolis within the us of a. The possibility of every other ‘white flight’ (real or imagined) and the residual results of housing discrimination are at the vanguard of my notion.

I lately got here throughout this Don DeLillo quote, deployed darkly: “Californians invented the concept of life-style. This alone warrants their doom.” Is America doomed? Despite the activities of the final yr, I even have attempted to take a gentle view toward human beings and gadgets. My wish is that in the complicated history of life-style we will find its redemption as well.

The concept of lifestyle is normally used as some thing that needs to be modified if we need to attain a sustainable development. But what does the idea of life-style suggest? How is it described? Educators and politicians, amongst others, want a definition to use the concept and apprehend how it's far related to sustainable improvement. This paper shows a plural definition primarily based on a stage analysis. There are 4 ranges, from man or woman to international, on which life-style may be understood. There is also an opportunity definition at the man or woman stage from a cognitive science attitude. We want to recognize the concept of life-style at these ranges to analyse the relationship to sustainable development issues. Perhaps we have to not examine lifestyle as a hassle consistent with se, but at the troubles used to problematic a life-style.

[besthubpagess]

What do you mean of lifestyle?

Typing the word “way of life” calls to thoughts a carousel of photographs: social media influencers staging the same photo in front of a Santorini sundown, colourful dinner plates shot from above, magazines devoted to profiling the homes of the rich and the famous. The idea of life-style is tousled inside the type of conspicuous intake that social media allows; but it also undergirds predominant sociopolitical conversations.

Think approximately all the ways life-style has been deployed in just the closing six months. It’s used to describe how American habits have changed because of coronavirus. It’s at the coronary heart of the perennial “leaving New York” essay and anti-essay. Most importantly, it describes the methods in which white lives in America had been made simpler on the price of Black safety, health and prosperity.

Lifestyle isn't always only a few throwaway term to indicate a sure sort of Instagram image. Lifestyle is decided by using our reminiscences, our recollections assist us create which means, and which means publications our relationship to gadgets–through extension consumerism, through extension the rules that govern who deserves what.

I started penning this essay nearly a yr ago as a way to grapple with the through line of my paintings: the relationship among human beings and gadgets and the methods wherein the Internet has changed this connection. I wanted to create a framework for know-how the idea of lifestyle as it has been used inside the twentieth and twenty first centuries... But there may be so much to mention that doesn’t healthy into one essay.

As I write these phrases, California is on fire. An rebellion in opposition to police violence has swept the kingdom. Our fascist president is tweeting about the “suburban way of life dream,” whilst Kingston, NY has the fastest growing domestic fees of any metropolis within the us of a. The possibility of every other ‘white flight’ (real or imagined) and the residual results of housing discrimination are at the vanguard of my notion.

I lately got here throughout this Don DeLillo quote, deployed darkly: “Californians invented the concept of life-style. This alone warrants their doom.” Is America doomed? Despite the activities of the final yr, I even have attempted to take a gentle view toward human beings and gadgets. My wish is that in the complicated history of life-style we will find its redemption as well. The concept of lifestyle is normally used as some thing that needs to be modified if we need to attain a sustainable development. But what does the idea of life-style suggest? How is it described? Educators and politicians, amongst others, want a definition to use the concept and apprehend how it's far related to sustainable improvement. This paper shows a plural definition primarily based on a stage analysis. There are 4 ranges, from man or woman to international, on which life-style may be understood. There is also an opportunity definition at the man or woman stage from a cognitive science attitude.