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#which i'm a little anxious about because i've never done this before?
canongf-archive · 2 years
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having a little bit of a day so i'm imagining eddie grabbing my face and squishing my cheeks and kissing me over and over and over to make me all giggly and happy. and it's helping.
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talkorsomething · 6 months
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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libraryofgage · 11 months
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Good Vibrations Two
This AU got a lot more attention than I expected actually hfjdks I'm so glad everyone likes it!
Anyway, here's part two! We get some concert, some peeks at how Robin helps Steve navigate social situations, and a little Eddie having an itsy-bitsy crisis over Steve's fashion choices.
Have fun! And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't (especially for this one since I wrote most of it on my phone actually lmao)
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Steve stares at the shirts laid out on his bed, arms crossed over his chest. Choosing jeans had been easy, but choosing a shirt is giving him trouble. What do you wear to a metal show at the local dive bar for a small-town band in which the lead singer is a long-time and way-out-of-your-league crush that you've been holding a candle for since the first time you saw him laugh on top of a cafeteria table?
You definitely don't show up in a plain black shirt, that's for sure.
The lights in the hall outside Steve's room flicker, switching off and on three times. Steve just barely notices, which means he doesn't get his pants scared off when Robin appears in the doorway, grinning at him while pocketing the key to the front door he'd given her months ago into a messenger bag. "Hey, dingus," she says, striding into the room and flopping onto the bed.
Steve rolls his eyes, yanking the shirts out from under her and laying them once more over Robin's stomach and legs. "What shirt should I wear?" he asks.
It takes a few seconds for Steve to look from the shirts to Robin, and she patiently waits until he's staring at her to say, "Just pick one. Nobody's gonna care what you're wearing."
"I care," Steve says, frowning as he looks back at the shirts. For the aforementioned crush reason, Steve cares very much about the shirt he wears. "What says 'Hi, we've never talked before but your music is the only thing I can hear and I think your hair is in desperate need of quality shampoo and also I've been halfway in love with you since, like, sophomore year'?"
Robin considers the question for a long moment before picking up a red sweater. "This one says 'I'm horny'," she offers.
Steve blinks, staring at the sweater for a few beats before laughing. "But I'm not," he says.
Despite looking at Robin, she happens to angle her head toward the sweater, and her response is lost on Steve. He frowns, waits until her jaw has stopped moving, and says, "I didn't get that."
After Robin first learned about Steve's deafness, he'd been overly anxious about asking her to repeat things. Somehow, it was worse to constantly ask when the person knew he couldn't hear well, if at all. But Robin had never shown annoyance; she'd just adjust her posture, make sure Steve could see her lips, and repeat her words. She does all of this now, and Steve gets to read her joking response, "Yeah, but you will be."
And, yeah, she has him there. Steve huffs and collapses onto the bed beside her, sacrificing the shirts. "I'll need a jacket," he says, turning his head to look at Robin so he can read her response.
Instead of words, though, he sees her face light up, and she jumps off the bed. Steve sits up, watching as she digs in her messenger bag before pulling out a t-shirt. "Remember when I stayed over a few weeks ago? And you let me borrow a shirt? You should wear it!"
Thankfully, Robin waits until she's done talking to throw the shirt in Steve's face. Honestly, he only understood a few words ("remember," "borrow," and "wear") but he's gathered enough context clues to get the gist of things.
He spreads the shirt out, humming at the Iron Maiden design. It's not one he wears often; for the most part, it's a shirt he wears on lazy days at home because of how soft it is. But as he's studying the design, Steve is suddenly hit with a stroke of pure genius.
He quickly changes into the shirt and then grabs a varsity jacket (not his letterman, but one he'd seen at the mall and bought on a whim because it used a nice shade of yellow) off his desk, tugging it on over the shirt but leaving it unbuttoned. After a few more seconds of digging around, he finds sneakers under the bed and tugs them on.
"Okay," he says, turning so Robin can see the outfit from every angle. He comes to a stop when he's facing her once more, hands buried in his jacket pockets, and asks, "What do you think? How's it look?"
"I think you'll give Eddie a crisis," Robin replies, wrinkling her nose at the varsity jacket. "Not, like, a bad one. But he'll probably ask where you got the shirt from."
Steve grins, thinking that sounds about perfect, and turns to study himself in the mirror. It's a surprisingly solid blend of metal and jock, and it makes him feel oddly confident, the same way he felt the first time he did his hair just right and everyone complimented it.
"Perfect," he decides. "Let's go."
----
The ride to the Hideout isn't exactly quiet, but it's not like Steve can talk and drive at the same time. So it's filled with music blasted as high as it can go on his car stereo, causing the whole vehicle to vibrate with each beat. When he finally turns the car off after parking, Robin grimaces as she rubs her ears.
She waits for Steve to be in front of her before saying, "We're putting the windows down next time."
"Oh. Sorry," Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly as Robin dismissively waves off his apology.
"No, it's fine, I'm just saying. Now, let's get inside before they start."
With that, she loops her arm through Steve's and drags him into the Hideout. They're hit with a wave of cigarette smoke, spilled beer, and sweat as they walk through the door, the combined smells making Steve dizzy. He frowns, leaning closer to Robin as she squeezes his arm. He feels her thumb tap him twice, their code for asking if the other is okay.
"I'm fine," he mumbles, nodding to a table in the corner. "Let's go sit. I just need to get used to...everything."
The lights are weird, too. Despite the place being dim, the few lights that are on are flickering, and Steve is having trouble processing all the new information his (working) senses are taking in.
Thankfully, Robin pulls him over to the table he pointed to, a small circle near a stage of dubious sturdiness. It looks like it can barely hold the instruments, much less those plus the people who will play them. There's an amp on the side of the stage near the table, which means they'll have the perfect spot to feel the music's vibrations. Steve slides into one of the chairs there and closes his eyes, resting his arms on a table that is surprisingly not sticky.
He feels Robin move the other chair next to him, slide in, and start pulling things out of her bag. When Steve opens his eyes again, there's a notebook between them and a variety of pens in all different colors spread out across the open pages. Robin has already picked up a red pen and is writing with it as Steve chooses a purple one.
When Robin is done writing, she taps the page so Steve can read, "Want something to drink?"
"I'm not sure we can trust the glasses here," he writes back.
"The fact you're calling them "glasses" tells me everything. Just sit tight."
With that, Robin drops her pen, winks at Steve, and heads over to the bar where a woman is wiping the counter. Steve watches her for a few seconds before looking around at the other people in the place. Most of them are sitting in groups, talking amongst themselves. Most of them also have mustaches or beards, making it downright impossible for Steve to read their lips.
Instead, Steve just gets a dull kind of rush in his ears, an ever-present background noise he can't escape. Soon enough, maybe because he's thinking about it too much, a high-pitched ringing starts up in his right ear, growing and growing in pitch until it's all he can focus on. Steve grimaces and looks down at the notebook, trying to keep his shoulders relaxed so he doesn't look as tense as he feels. The ringing persists, and he rubs his ear like that's going to help.
His ear is still ringing, though it has started to diminish, when a water bottle is placed in front of him. Steve jerks, forcing himself to calm down as Robin slides into her seat again with a mug of beer that's more foam than anything else. "They're about to start," she says, waiting until Steve has nodded once to show understanding before taking a sip.
Steve looks up at the stage and wonders how he missed Eddie and his friends arriving. As his friends are setting up behind him, Eddie is resting one hand on the neck of his guitar and using the other to hold the mic close to his mouth. Steve can't read his lips, but Eddie's grin is a little contagious as he says something to a guy by the bar. The guy must say something back, because Eddie bursts out laughing, his head thrown back to show off a neck Steve wants to bite.
A tap on his arm brings his attention away, and he looks at the notebook to see Robin has scrawled out a transcript:
"Eddie: Thanks for coming out tonight, everyone
Guy: Fuck off, Munson
Eddie: Love you, too, Jeremy"
Steve snorts, looking up to see Robin's equally amused smile as she continues to write on another page. When he glances at the stage, Steve sees Eddie still talking into the mic, his eyes roaming over the audience until they reach Steve and Robin. Eddie seems to grip the mic tighter, and he holds Steve's eyes for a few seconds, giving just enough time for Steve to wave awkwardly before Eddie looks away. But his smile seems a little bigger than before, and Steve is happy to let himself think he caused it.
When he looks down again, Robin has finished writing, and she nudges the notebook closer to him. Eddie must talk fast, because her writing is almost indistinguishable from chicken scratch in dirt that a cat got dragged through. Thankfully, Steve is an expert at this point.
"Eddie: Anyway, you know the drill. We'll start with some Metallica, treat you to Iron Maiden, throw in a dash of Black Sabbath, and then grace you with a Corroded Coffin original. If you don't like it, not my problem."
Steve feels the beginning of the set as he finishes reading. He sits a little straighter, planting his feet firmly on the floor and placing his palms on the table with his fingers spread. Robin is still writing next to him, most likely transcribing the bits and pieces of conversation she can hear for Steve to read later and laugh at. She doesn't try to get his attention while she does, already knowing it won't be worth it after Steve has shifted into Music Mode.
In the same way that people can tell what song is playing based simply on the first note, Steve can sometimes tell based on the strength and length of the first vibration. In the same way people know the lyrics of songs after listening to them enough times, Steve knows the vibration patterns like the back of his hand. In the same way people who hear their favorite songs played live can tell when a note is wrong or a lyric is sung too fast, Steve can tell when the drummer or bassist makes tiny mistakes that wouldn't be caught otherwise.
And Steve loves it. He loves how his entire body thrums with each vibration that travels from the amp. He loves how he can close his eyes and picture a story based on the music, one that probably doesn't match the lyrics but tends to replace them in his heart. He loves that this is something he can still share with his friends, even if most of them don't realize how different his experience with music is.
So, for all the little bumps and dips that occur in the vibrations as Corroded Coffin plays, for all the tiny slips that certainly go unnoticed by anyone else, and for all the fact that Steve doesn't get to hear Eddie's voice, he can confidently say he loves the show. He's never heard the songs played like this before, and it helps diminish the gut-deep desperation for new music.
And then Corroded Coffin starts a new song. It's one Steve doesn't recognize, one with vibrations that are completely foreign to him, and he jerks his head up to watch Eddie play his guitar in an opening solo. It thrums across the floor, climbing up his legs and spreading in waves from his palms on the table. Steve feels goosebumps chase after it, a new wave washing over him when the guitar solo ends with a particularly strong vibration that's immediately followed by the drums and bass.
Eddie throws himself into the music, moving and twisting and strutting around the stage like he's playing to Madison Square Garden. Steve can't look away, the lyrics incomprehensible but replaced by the jerk of Eddie's hips and the tilt of his head and the little half-spin he does on his heel.
It ends too quickly with one final, reverberating strum that lingers in Steve's bones, burrowing into his marrows as Eddie pushes his hair back and grins into the mic. He says something breathlessly, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he tries to catch his breath, and Steve knows he's gone.
He's hopeless.
He's desperate.
He needs more Corroded Coffin, more Eddie, in whatever form he can get.
----
For the first time, Corroded Coffin gets genuine applause after playing. Usually, the patrons of the Hideout will politely clap (if they even notice the set is over) for about two seconds. Tonight, however, Eddie and his friends are graced with excited clapping, a few shouts, and one very strong whistle from a small table to the left of the stage. And it spreads because even rough biker dudes can fall to peer pressure when it's that enthusiastic.
So, yeah, genuine applause all because of Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley who, Eddie thinks, is surprising company for the former King of Hawkins High. No matter how unexpected, he should still thank them and ask what they thought of the set now that it's over. He carefully sets his guitar on a stand and glances over his shoulder, catching Jeff's gaze and flashing a grin. "I'll be right back," he says before jumping off the stage and heading over to Steve and Robin's table.
As he gets closer, he notices the notebook and pens spread out, colorful writing filling the pages and Steve grinning with amusement as he reads it. Robin is watching him like she's waiting for him to understand an inside joke already so they can laugh about it together. If Eddie didn't already know Robin was like him (band camp, summer after his junior year, during an unfortunate game of Seven Minutes in Heaven where they awkwardly stood in a closet together before Robin commented on his black bandana), he'd wonder if something was going on between them.
"How'd you like the set?" Eddie asks when he reaches the table, suddenly nervous enough to tug on a lock of his hair and pull it in front of his mouth.
Robin looks up, but Steve doesn't. He's still reading the notebook, snorting at whatever is written there like he didn't hear Eddie. It's not until Robin elbows him that he raises his head, eyes widening when he sees Eddie. "Sorry, could you repeat that?" Steve asks, his gaze dropping to Eddie's mouth (Eddie definitely isn't imagining that) and faltering some.
"I asked if you liked the set," Eddie says, frowning slightly as Robin grabs a pen and scribbles something on the notebook. It's too small for him to read, but he doesn't miss how Steve glances down for less than a second before his eyes light up with realization.
"Oh!" he says, looking back at Eddie and flashing a charming grin. "It was great. You guys are so loud, and I've never f-uh, heard anything like your original song before."
Eddie catches the way Steve fumbles, faltering like he wanted to say one word but forced himself to say another. Something is tugging at the back of Eddie's mind, but he can't quite grab onto it just yet. For now, he leans forward, placing both hands on the table so he can be closer to Steve. "You listen to metal often, Harrington?" he asks.
Steve stares at his mouth for a few seconds before nodding, and Eddie feels the thrill of learning something completely unexpected. "I like Black Sabbath best, but Judas Priest and Guns N' Roses are close seconds," Steve says.
"Yeah?" Eddie asks, "What do you like most about it?" He wants to know. Does Steve Harrington (King Steve, Steve "The Hair" Harrington, Steve fucking Harrington) like metal for the same reasons he does? Does he like the stories and the passion and the heavy theatricality of it all?
Steve seems to hesitate, possibly thinking about how to answer, before finally saying, "I like how it's music I can feel. When I listen to metal, it digs into my bones. Other music doesn't."
Somehow, Eddie's grin gets impossibly wider, and his cheeks are hurting from the sheer force of it. He's about to say more when Robin glances at the clock and swears under her breath. "Shit, I promised Mom I'd be home ten minutes ago," she says, grabbing the pens and recklessly throwing them into her bag.
It's the movement that seems to catch Steve's attention, and he looks down at Robin's hands before looking up at the clock. "Oh, fuck, your curfew," he says, looking at Robin like she hadn't just said the same thing two seconds ago.
"Yeah, no shit, dingus," Robin says, pausing long enough to speak while looking straight at Steve before throwing the notebook into her bag, too. She jumps to her feet and hauls Steve out of the chair, making his varsity jacket fall open to reveal an Iron Maiden shirt.
And Eddie thinks his heart just about stops. He doesn't know why, but seeing Steve in a metal band shirt under an undeniably jock jacket makes him feel....something. This is, like, sacrilege, right? How dare Steve Harrington allow Metal and Jock to meet? Doesn't he know the two styles clash? Or, well, they're supposed to clash, but Steve somehow wears them well, and Eddie thinks he's upset and annoyed by the fact.
Before Eddie can analyze that feeling, Steve says, "Sorry to run, Eddie. You played really well. Let me know when the next show is."
There's a lot to unpack there, too. Steve Harrington wants to come to another Corroded Coffin gig. Steve Harrington is sorry he has to cut the conversation short. Steve Harrington thinks his band played really well. Before Eddie can say anything in response, Robin is dragging Steve away, throwing a goodbye over her shoulder.
Eddie doesn't want Steve to go without something, though, some kind of departing word, so he shouts, "See ya later, big boy!"
Steve doesn't look back, but Robin nearly trips over the doorway. She then pauses long enough to say something to Steve, watching with sheer delight as he splutters and glances at Eddie before dragging her through the door. Eddie couldn't stop the grin if he tried, and he didn't try.
Later, when Eddie is sprawled on the floor of his room, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about Steve's stupid combination of Metal and Jock, he'll be struck by a sudden, consuming thought. What if Steve was wearing just the Iron Maiden shirt? What if he wore just the jacket?
Eddie swallows around the sudden lump in his throat, his mouth going dry as he scrambles to his feet and gets ready to take a very, very cold shower.
----
Tag List (the tag list is completely filled up! There definitely wasn't enough room for everyone who requested a tag orz
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@hallucinatedjosten, @queenie-ofthe-void, @r0binscript, @jewellthebooknerd, @paintgonewrong, @vacantwatchers, @newagemyth, @gutterflower77, @just-a-tiny-void, @littlebluejane
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bunnliix · 7 months
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Can't Stay Away from You - Chapter One
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First chapter woot woot! This is by far, the longest chapter I've ever written, at over 7k words, and honestly, I hope this is good? It's my first time writing a/b/o, and I'm a little unsure of where this is going exactly, but I hope everyone will have fun on the rollercoaster that this fic is bound to be!
masterlist
word count: 7k
warnings: defintely some angst in here, but lighter angst?, reader is anxious at parts, but like for the most part, there's really not much to warn about I think? Please let me know if I'm wrong or if I need to add anything!
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Y/n wasn’t expecting any emails, but when she heard the ding that let her know she had received one, she immediately looked. She never knew when she’d get another freelance job, so whenever an email came in, she developed the habit of checking it. This wasn’t a work email, no, but it was from one of the stores she had recently bought a couple of Stray Kids albums from. From the subject line, it was about the albums she had bought, and a fansign? She doesn’t remember signing up for one, but she also has been so busy, she probably forgot about it.
Opening up the email, she found that she had won a place at an in person fansign in Seoul, in two days. She was so shocked by this news that she held her breath, not thinking this was real for a moment. She read through the email fully, memorizing every word, she really had won, holy shit. She thanked the gods that she didn’t work a physical job, because it meant she could work from anywhere, and she started figuring out her trip to Seoul. There was no way she was missing out on a chance to meet Stray Kids.
She quickly found a plane ticket, even if it was insanely expensive, and she thanked herself for her savings, having to dip into that a bit for this trip. She then moved on to finding a place to stay, and found a nice hotel that wasn’t outrageously expensive, and immediately booked it. She’d be flying out in about seven hours, leaving her to scramble to pack and leave for the airport. Quickly packing her luggage, having a packing list made up from previous trips, she packed clothes for a week, deciding to explore a bit since she was going there. 
Y/n’s travelled enough to have mastered the skill of packing efficiently, gathering everything she needed into 3 pieces of luggage. She double-checked her travel list, making sure she had packed enough for her trip. Before she shoved her laptop and cords into her bag, she sent out an email to her current clients stating that she had an emergency occur, and that her work may be delayed by a day. At this point, it was almost time for her to head to the airport. So, she finished packing the last of her things into her carry-on. Remembering to grab her coat before putting her shoes on, she grabbed her bags and left the apartment. 
She took a taxi to the airport, and on the way there, texted her best friend Emily that she was heading out of the country and asking her to watch over her apartment while she was gone. Emily agreed right away, and told her not to worry about anything. She smiled down at her phone, her bestie was her ride or die, and she was so grateful to have her in her life. 
When she arrived at the airport, she thanked the driver, pulling her luggage out of the trunk and heading straight to the check in counter. The process was smooth and she was quickly on her way to security, which while terribly busy, went by quickly and soon she was sitting at her gate, having grabbed a couple snacks for the plane and filled up her water bottle on the way over there. She had about an hour before boarding, so she pulled out her laptop, deciding to get some work done while she waited. She finished off the last edits to one project, sending that off to one of her clients, before starting on one of her other projects.
Halfway through her second project, the call for boarding went out over the P.A. system, and so she saved her work, slipping her laptop back into her bag before lining up with everyone else. She was lucky enough to get a last minute window seat on the plane, putting her carry-on in the overhead bin, before settling in her seat as she pushed her smaller bag under the seat in front of her. She looked out the window as the plane took off, the start of her journey to Seoul, and meeting Stray Kids, was starting now. Since it was a relatively long flight, she pulled out her laptop once she was able to do so, starting back on the project she worked on earlier. She spent the majority of the flight working on her current workload, which was about four projects at the moment. 
They were all fairly simple projects, they just took time to perfect them, but it was a great way to pass the time. By the time she finished her last project, there was only a couple hours left of the flight, and so she rested and watched the clouds roll by. Y/n admired the view as they landed in Seoul, excited to explore the city. 
Patiently waiting to disembark the plane, she waited until she was able to leave her row, grabbing her bag from the overhead bin and then bringing it down, pulling it behind her as she left the plane. She pulled it along, heading towards the luggage carousel, before she went through customs and immigration, quickly clearing them and heading out into Seoul. She took the metro to head towards her hotel, unpacking her headphones and listening to music to pass the time on the train. Once off the train, she pulled out her phone to find her hotel location, quickly finding her way to the hotel. Thankfully, it was late enough that she could check in right away and head to her room. She took the elevator up, finding her room midway down the hallway, and upon opening the door, found that she had a beautiful view of the city around her. 
She dropped her luggage by the bed, and walked towards the window, admiring her view of the city. She may not be a heights kind of person, but this was still beautiful, and she would be looking out a lot during her week here. She hauled her suitcase up onto the bed, pulling out a fresh outfit, before heading to the bathroom to shower. Once she had, she changed into her fresh outfit, pleased to get the smell of the airplane and airports off of her. Since it was still light out for a while, she decided to get out into the city and explore the neighborhood around her. She packed her smaller bag with the necessities, grabbing her key card on the way out the door and quickly going back down to the lobby and out into the fresh air. 
Y/n knew travelling alone as an omega always brought risks with it, but it was worth it to be here in Seoul, both for the fansign and just in general. It was sunny and warm in Seoul, a great contrast from back home, and she was living for it. She was always a warm weather kinda girl, and the warm air and sunshine here made her thrive. She decided on just walking the area around her, figuring tomorrow would be one of her bigger exploration days. 
She saw a lot of stores that intrigued her, but thought better of shopping, she’d be exhausted much quicker if she gave into that urge. She was glad that she brought her headphones, it helped distract from the loud noises of the city, and brought the level down to a reasonable one she could deal with. The hustle and bustle of the city was normal to her, since her own city was similar, 
Up until now, her omega had been strangely quiet. Usually she was very outspoken, more so than y/n herself was. Her omega was going haywire at the moment, confusing the poor girl as to what set the omega off. She felt almost pulled forward, and her omega pushed to the surface, making her walk faster to wherever that pull was coming from. It culminated in her running into someone, and ended with her on the ground in front of them, looking up at their mask-covered face. 
“Are you alright? I’m sorry that I bumped into you.” The person said as they leaned down, reaching out a hand to her. She tentatively took it, and she stood up with their help. Standing so close to them, she could smell their citrusy sweet scent, it calling to and calming her omega. That confused her slightly, but she shook it off, not wanting to think about it now. 
“I’m okay, and really, I bumped into you. I should be the one apologizing.” She replied.
“Let’s just say we bumped into each other then? We both played a part in this.” They told her, and she could see that they were smiling by the crinkles near their eyes. 
“I can agree to that.” Y/n replied, giggling slightly. 
She saw as the other person took a breath of her scent, and for some reason they stumbled back away from her, their eyes widening. 
“I’ve got to go, I’m sorry.” They said, rushing away from her, leaving her standing there alone on the sidewalk.
She watched him run away, and her omega cried out, and y/n felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Her anxiety shot up, and tears came to her eyes. She’s so confused, she doesn’t completely understand what’s just happened, and why she was so affected by it.
She felt increasingly down as she walked back to her hotel, no longer feeling any urge to explore, just wanting to retreat back into her room and nest. She speed-walked into the hotel elevator, avoiding everyone. Once back in her room, she locked her door and got to work making a nest in the bed, using everything she could. She finished it and then climbed inside, curling up into herself as her omega cried out to someone, for an unknown reason. That, and she couldn’t take her mind off of the person who ran away from her, and everytime she thought of him, it made her chest hurt. 
In the end, she fell asleep, and she dreamed of them again. She had dreams every so often about Stray Kids, and she assumed this was once again, her brain being delusional. She dreamed about going on vacation with them, assumedly in Australia given her surroundings, but she felt that this dream was different. 
She noticed that this time, the member’s touch and reactions felt more real? It felt like these were actually the boys, and not figments of her imagination like they usually did. Their eyes seemed shocked, even as they all enjoyed the dream. They were more touchy with her, Felix especially. She noticed that he looked similar to the person she ran into earlier, but shook it off as her just being delusional again. She enjoyed her dream and found happiness with the boys, as it was just a dream, that’s all.
Waking up the next morning in her makeshift nest, she whined at the lack of someone beside her, having fallen asleep in her dream next to the boys. Her scent smelled like burnt honey and vanilla because of her sadness, but she pushed through, thinking of happy thoughts and how she’d get to see the boys later today. She got up, having to get out of her nest that smelt like sadness. Pulling out an outfit for the fanmeet, she quickly showered before changing, and then moved onto her makeup and hair. She did her makeup like she usually did, leaning more towards a very natural look, knowing if she wore too much, it would be harder to touch up later on.
Before leaving her room, she checked the rules for attending the fansign, and quickly memorized them. She headed back to the bathroom, since one of the rules was wearing scent blockers, and quickly applied them to her scent glands, making sure she covered them fully. The rule had been put into place because of an incident with a second gen girl group fansign years ago, she remembered the aftermath of it very well, despite being young at the time. One of the fans, an alpha, attended the fansign and tried to overwhelm one of the omega members of the group with her scent, and since then, companies have made it mandatory that scent blockers be worn during fansigns. 
Checking her outfit in the mirror once again, she made sure it looked right, fixing anything that was out of place. She had decided on an outfit that reminded her of a mix of Felix and Han’s individual styles, but had blended them together in her outfit. Plus, it was really comfy, and knowing she had a long day in front of her, she didn’t want to be stuck in something uncomfortable. She grabbed her bag, setting out for the day. She planned to explore and see some tourist sights first, before the fansign, since it wasn’t starting for a couple hours from then. 
She mostly wandered as she wanted, not having a specific destination in mind. She found herself wandering a market and buying some snacks along the way. Everything she bought tasted better than the prior snacks, and she had to leave the market in a hurry lest she get distracted. To her benefit, however, this passed enough time that she almost had to run to make it to the fansign venue.
She made it there in under 20 minutes, and hopped in line with everyone else, having brought her ID, and had the email that she won as well. Checking in was a simple process for the most part, however the ID checking part was the most tedious. Once that was finished and they confirmed that she was who she said she was and that she was allowed entry, she was quickly shuffled into the hall where the fansign took place. 
Y/n found herself about midway between the front and back of the hall, and almost straight in the middle of her row. She greeted the girls next to her, making small talk with them as much as she was able to with her limited knowledge of Korean. They mostly talked about their favorite members and songs, and whose outfits they liked the most in this recent comeback. Y/n enjoyed chatting with the other girls, and a couple more of the ones around them joined in as well, and just before the boys walked out, they had created a small group chat, adding each other on kakaotalk. 
The minute the boys walked out on the stage, all eyes were on them, and the cheers were almost deafening. Despite it only being a small fraction of the number of people at a concert, it was as loud as a concert. Yet it only took Bang Chan raising his hand for the crowd of fans to fall silent. 
“Hello everyone!” He said, waving to the room. He and the boys quickly introduced themselves and did their “Step out” intro as they always do. They took the first part of the fanmeet to goof around on stage, playing around with some of the items laid out for them by staff. 
During this, y/n couldn’t keep her eyes off of them, feeling almost a pulling sensation in her chest, and a need to keep an eye on the boys. She ignored the pulling feeling, trying to enjoy the fansign and commit this all to memory. She soaked in the atmosphere, the joy that radiated around the room, from the fans and the idols. It filled her with happiness, the feeling almost bursting out of her chest. 
It wasn’t long before they boys had moved onto the signing part of the fansign. She watched as each row of fans lined up to meet the idol group, going down the line one by one, and the smiles on the boys’ faces made her smile too. It made her happy to see them happy, and she knew the girls around her felt the same way. Her hand was tapped as a girl in the row ahead of her asked her to record her interactions with the boys, and she readily agreed. Once that girl was up on stage, she zoomed in and recorded her interaction with the eight idols. In return, once it was her turn to line up with her album to meet the boys, the other girl offered to record her going down the line and talking with the boys, to which she quickly thanked her for offering and y/n handed her her phone. She lined up on the side of the stage, nervousness growing as there were only a few girls still in between her and Changbin, the first of the eight boys she’d meet today. 
Soon, she sat in the chair in front of the rapper, smiling at him as she said hello, shaking slightly due to her nerves.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” She told him, smile as bright as the sun.
“Ahh, nice to meet you too!” He said, taking her album as she handed it to him, opening to one of his pages. “Where are you from?” He asked, noticing her nerves and the slight shake to her body, determined to get her less nervous.
“I’m from Canada. I flew here and arrived yesterday afternoon.” Y/n told him.
“Oh wow! Really? That’s so far away!” He was surprised she flew that far for their fansign, he even applauded her for it, to which she shied away, hiding her face.
“No, no hiding!” He teased her, and she slowly pulled her hands away, looking at him with red cheeks.
“Is it cold back in Canada?” Changbin asked.
“It’s not too bad, I guess? But I prefer it here where it’s warm and sunny.” She told him, replying to his question.
“Ohhh, you like warm.” He said, English skills finally breaking down a bit.
“I love the warmth. I’m always too cold, see?” She said to him, showing her hands which were slightly pink at the tips. 
He grabbed her hands gently, rubbing them to try and warm them up. He knew it was chilly in there, but not to where one of their fans was becoming very cold. He was so concerned for her, almost abnormally so, but he chalked it up to just caring for their stays.
“Oh no, you’re so cold! It’s too cold here.” He said after rubbing her hands for a couple moments.
“Oh no, it’s okay, Changbin-oppa. My fingers and toes are always like this, no matter how warm it is. Just my body being bad, that’s all.” She corrected him gently, wanting to ensure he knew it wasn’t the room, it was just her. 
And sadly, that is where her time with the rapper ended, with her being moved onto the next man, who was the Hwang Hyunjin, who was waiting for her to move down in front of him, which made her blush intensify. 
“Hello Hyunjin!” She said, voice a little on the higher side.
“Hello, Stay!” He said, smiling at her. “What’s your name?” He asked as he received her album, moving to sign one of his pages that she had marked. 
“My name is y/n! And we’re born in the same year, Hyunjin-ssi.” She informed him, slightly swaying in order to calm herself.
“Oh? We are? That’s amazing! What month?” He further questioned her, a slight surprise showing on his face. 
“I’m a September baby, so I’m younger than you by a couple months.” She said, watching him sign her album.
He looked back up at her, his beauty was ethereal, and it took her breath away to see him this close up. He reached out to grab her hands, both of them pulling away slightly and flinching at the zap of electricity. It couldn’t have been more than static electricity, but it felt almost like a connection of sorts. Both of them waved it off, not thinking much of it, but inside, their beta and omega knew what had just happened, and were berating them for ignoring it.
“Your name is really pretty, I forgot to tell you.” He said earnestly, his eyes feeling like they were staring right into her soul, and she could see so many emotions floating around in those captivating eyes. She couldn't keep eye contact with him and looked away, down at her lap to avoid his gaze.
“Thank you, Hyunjin-ssi.” She said, still unable to look him in the eyes.
“Stay doesn’t have to use -ssi, call me Hyunjin, please?” He begged her, leaning down on the table to try and get her attention, to which she looked up at him, giggling at his position.
“What are you doing?” She said between giggles.
“I just wanted-” He started, but was interrupted by staff ushering her to move onto the next member, to Hyunjin’s dismay. He wanted to talk with her all day.
Seungmin was next, and his gentle smile caused her to continue to smile in return, her smile not dimming, but becoming softer.
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” He said, much calmer than the others, but you could see that he was just as excited to meet their fans as the other boys were. 
“Hello Seungmin, it’s nice to meet you too.” She said, telling him her name afterwards, so that he had a name to sign the album with. 
They made small talk as he signed, and then continued on afterwards. Y/n told him how far she travelled to be here today, and then expanded on her home as Seungmin asked her more questions about where she was from. She tells him that no matter how long the journey was, she wouldn’t have missed being here, and missing the chance to talk to them, for anything else in the world. 
To this, his face is filled with awe and wonder, always surprised at what lengths their fans go to in order to see them live or to meet them. She then talks about what she loves about him, and how she enjoys seeing his interactions with the other boys, and how his voice is angelic. She just about showers him in compliments, until her time with the vocalracha member is up.
He waves goodbye to her and hands her album onto Jeongin, who’s next in line. He smiled at her as she slid over into the chair in front of the maknae, who, having heard her name from when she told his fellow member, quickly signed her album, before reaching out to grab her hands, squeezing them. This shocked y/n slightly, not expecting how intense the maknae was right then and there. He however, just felt drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, and wanted to be in contact with her. His alpha encouraged his actions, and the man himself didn’t question his alpha, and just continued looking at her with a smile on his face. 
“Hi, Stay!” He said excitedly, to which y/n replied back, asking how he was doing.
“I’m doing better now that I get to talk to you.” He answered her, winking at the end and slightly flirting, to which he got lightly smacked by Minho. 
Y/n wasn't faring well with the intense nature of the supposed “baby bread” youngest member, and it clearly showed on her face, which was turning, in Jeongin’s eyes, a lovely shade of pink, and her eyes were wide as she stared at him.
“You look so cute, Stay.” He complimented her, to which she blushed harder. His grin grew as he watched her blush intensify, and to which his alpha almost purred in contentment. 
He continued teasing her, to which her responses were almost nonsensical, until the staff member became her savior by telling Jeongin that she had to move to the next member. Minho, being impatient, grabbed her hands from his fellow member and pulled her over to the chair in front of his space at the table, grabbing her album afterwards. Jeongin pouted at his hyung’s actions, watching you move over to the next chair. He only stopped overtly watching her when the next Stay sat down in front of him, his attention turning to them.
“Hello Lino!” Y/n said, a smile still stuck on her face.
“Hello Stay.” He said, shaking their hands as he had yet to let go. “Do you have any pets?” He asked, finally but almost reluctantly pulling his hands away so he could sign her album.
“I do! I have a bunny, named Jack.” She told him, telling him how she got him, and about all of her bunny’s little quirks. 
He stopped signing her album just to look up at her and watch her talk. He was oddly drawn to her, and observed her as she talked. Her smile was extraordinary and how he wanted to never see her smile fade away, he felt pulled in by her, and he knew it wasn’t her scent, it couldn’t have been since he could see the scent blockers on her skin. But she almost called out to him, to his alpha. He internally questioned if there was something more to that feeling or if it was only just because she was similar to his omegas, to Jisung and Felix. Her outfit clearly took inspiration from them, and she seemed similar in personality, so maybe that was the culprit behind this pull he was feeling.
He realized that he hadn’t finished signing her album, and hurried to do so as he lightly chatted with her, mostly about their own pets and how troublesome they were at times. Sadly, that came to an end when she was pointed to move onto the next idol, who happened to be Felix. 
The Australian man looked at her, having the silent realization that this was the girl he ran into the day prior, and did his best to push what happened out of his mind, since he hadn’t told anyone what had happened, and from the lack of reaction on her part, she didn’t know that they had met yesterday.
“Hello Felix!” She said, smiling from ear to ear at meeting her almost birthday twin.
“Hello! How are you? Also, your outfit is so cute! I love it!” He replied, a grin on his face.
“I’m well, and I’m very excited to be here!” She told him, her cheeks hurting as she had smiled since meeting Changbin. “Thank you! I tried to combine your and Han’s styles, and I hope I was able to do both your styles justice.” She explained.
“You did! So, how old are you?” He questioned, taking the time to sign her album.
“I’m your age, actually.” She confessed, as he looked up in slight shock.
“Wow, really?” He said. 
“Yup! Actually you and I aren’t too far apart in age, birthday wise. I share a birthday with one of your members.” She replied.
“Wait, that means-” He started, before she interrupted him.
“Yeah, I do have a birthday twin within your group.” She giggled and nodded as she confirmed his thoughts.
“Oh wow! That’s so cool!” He told her.
“Yeah, it’s what made me a Stay actually. Well, and your Miroh era.” She confessed to him, blushing slightly.
They continued chatting, with Felix inquiring more about her life, and how long she’s been into K-pop among other things. Felix’s omega was practically purring at having this pretty girl’s attention only on him, plus that they got to see her again after Felix stupidly ran away yesterday.
Meanwhile, next to Felix, Minho was trying to concentrate on the Stay in front of him, but his mind and eyes kept wandering over to y/n and Felix. He couldn’t help but listen in on their conversation as he tried to keep chatting with the fan in front of him. That pull in his chest still hadn’t disappeared, and he kept questioning what exactly was drawing him to you. His alpha, however, knew exactly what was happening and was very happy about it, Minho could tell that much. His alpha kept talking about how Felix and the girl got along so well, and look how pretty they both were, and ‘Wouldn’t they look pretty together in their nest?’ Minho had to physically force himself to look away from the two of them, and push to only focus on the Stay in front of him.
During this, the two people who were the subject of Minho’s thoughts and glances were saddened when staff told them it was time for y/n to move on. Felix grabbed her hand, pleading with her not to go, to the girl’s laughter and her insistence that she must move on, to Han finally interjecting and reaching out for her hand and pulling her to the next chair. 
“I heard you had a birthday twin in Stray Kids?” He inquired immediately, wanting to know.
“Hello Han. Yes I do.” She giggled at his impatience. “I’m birthday twins with you, actually. Down to the year.” She told him. 
Hell yeah!” He exclaimed as Felix overheard, the Aussie pouting at how close he was to sharing a birthday. 
Y/n saw Felix’s pout, and giggled as she looked over at him. He saw her giggling and playfully glared at her, only making her giggle more, which Han did as well when he saw what was making the girl in front of him giggle. 
Han quickly signed his page in the album, before focusing all his attention on the girl in front of him. He wanted to know more about his birthday twin, and to learn if they had anything else in common. They did have quite a few things in common, their style being one of those things, anxiety was a second, and they also had quite similar personalities. This made the quokka a very happy man, and his omega wanted to steal the Stay away and keep them and Han was agreeable with that notion. A birthday twin to share the fun with? Yes please.
They joked about how maybe this was fate, and maybe this was why she was drawn to the group in the first place, with y/n admitting that their shared birthday is what made her interested in the first place. Han smiled, with a blush on his face at that confession. That she had found the group and gotten interested because of Felix, but was more interested that they both shared a birthday. Plus, she won the chance to be here and meet them, which was even more amazing.
As engrossed as they both were in their conversation, Chan finally leaned over and interrupted them, to inform her that it was their turn to chat. Han grabbed her hand, shaking them as he thanked her for coming and talking with him, and that she’d have to remember to wish him a happy birthday when their birthday came, to which she promised she would. She reluctantly let go of his hands, and moved over to sit in front of Chan, realizing that her time with the boys would end shortly. 
“Hello there, sorry to interrupt your fun with Hannie.” He apologized, looking truly sorry to have stopped their conversation. He truly was sad that he had to do so, they loved their fans, and Jisung looked so happy as he chatted with her, and his alpha almost screamed his content at how happy this girl had made his members. 
“It’s okay, I understand, don’t worry Chan.” She told him, understanding clearly heard in her voice.
He smiled at how understanding she was, starting up a conversation with her about what she was going to do while in Seoul. Inside, his alpha was trying to gain control over him, an overwhelming need coming over him to grab her and scent her, rules be damned. He wasn’t alone in this feeling, as y/n had been feeling a pull this entire time as she went down the line, but it was stronger right in front of the leader of the group, and her omega wanted nothing more than to sink into this man’s arms right here and now. She shook off her omega while he pushed away those feelings, one thinking it was just her being delusional and having read too much fanfic, while the other just chalked it up to his alpha reacting to the fact that it was a pretty girl in front of him right now. 
They continued their chat like neither of them were experiencing anything, and she asked him about places to visit in Australia should she ever get to visit, and he turned it on her and asked about places to visit in Canada when they get the chance to travel there. Both parties enjoyed the conversation, almost feeling as if they were just two friends chatting, instead of idol and fan. They talked about animals as well, both of them gushing about their own animals and telling a couple of funny stories about them.
At last, y/n’s time with the boys was finally over, and it was at this point Chan realized he had never signed her album. Signaling to the staff to let him sign the album quickly before she had to leave, he did so. On a whim, and what he swears was his alpha’s idea, and not fully his, under his signature, he added his number. Quickly closing the book, he handed it to her, and waved to her as she left the stage and returned to her seat, focusing on the next fan to sit in front of him.
Y/n returned to her seat, feeling saddened after leaving the stage and the boys. She shrugged it off, just like she had with the rest of the odd feelings she’s had today and yesterday. After she got back to her seat, one of the girls in the row behind her that she had made friends with, asked her to film her meetings with the boys, and she agreed. After that, the girl in the row in front of her that filmed her interactions handed her phone back, and y/n thanked her for filming as the other girl waved off her thank yous. 
Soon enough, it was the girl behind her turn to chat with the boys, and y/n started filming as she went up on stage. She noticed during her filming, that the boys glanced up in her direction a couple times, or at least her general direction, she doubted their gaze was on her specifically. She dutifully continued filming, trying to get the best video she could for the girl.
Y/n was wrong about the boys not looking right in the crowd for her. They really couldn’t help themselves, looking at her when she didn’t notice, and every time they had the chance. They had never felt so pulled towards someone like this, not since they all found each other. Y/n was feeling the same way, it almost felt like there was a rope between her and the boys, and it was trying to pull her in closer. She once again brushed it off as wishful thinking, and maybe her delusions of wanting the boys to notice her, as every Stay did. Plus, she probably just enjoyed talking to them so much that she wanted to talk with them again. 
Finally, the girl she was filming for left the stage, and y/n ended the recording, handing the phone back to her once the other girl returned to her seat. She watched as the final rows got their chance to see and talk with the boys, and once everyone was back in their seats, the boys came out from behind the tables, and started goofing off again. There was a portion set aside for photos of the boys, and of course they were absolutely adorable during it. And then they decided a couple dance relays of S-Class were in order, and a part switch dance to S-Class as well, which went as well as anyone could expect. A.k.a, it was a bit of a disaster, with the boys not knowing each other's places nearly as well as they knew their own. Though, we did get to see Felix do Minho’s parts, which was amazing and everyone in the room loved it. 
Before anyone knew it, the fansign was coming to an end, with the boys sadly saying goodbye to the fans. Y/n didn’t want it to end, but as they were ushered back out of the room after the boys had left the stage, she reluctantly left. She was in tears leaving the building, and felt a great sadness at leaving, and so did her omega. She wasn’t quite sure why she reacted so heavily, but as she walked back to the hotel, her emotions only grew. Because of this, she sped up her pace, wanting to disappear into her hotel room and cry in private, not wanting others to see her like this. 
Once she was back in her hotel room, she locked the door, immediately taking off her shoes and any accessories, before crawling into her makeshift nest that still smelt of sadness from that morning. She let herself fall apart, crying as she curled into a ball. She wasn’t sure why she was so sad, she really wasn’t sure, but she could feel that her omega was really hurting. She cried herself to sleep, falling into a nightmare, where it was the opposite of her dream from the night before. The boys were the opposite of their sweet selves, and were hurling anything and everything negative about herself at her, and all she could do was sit there and cry as they did so.
Being shocked out of her nightmare, she sat up as she woke up, her chest heaving as she tried to regulate her breathing. She managed to do so after a couple of minutes, and trying to get her mind off of how hurtful her nightmare was, she reached for her phone.
She found the video of her interactions with the boys, and started watching it. As she watched it, she realized just how different her interactions with the boys were from the ones she had filmed for others and watched herself. They seemed much more intimate in a way, with how touchy a lot of the boys were with her. They were so much more emotive and interactive with her, it felt a little abnormal after the fact. She must have been so happy to meet them that none of it felt off to her, and really looking back, it still didn’t feel too odd, just a bit more intimate than the other fans’ interactions. She wondered why she was so different, and why her, over everyone else. 
This pushed her to look through her album, and she stopped at Chan’s signature. Underneath his name, there was a number, along with a short message to text him. This had to be a joke, there was no way she was living the y/n life right now. She felt as if she had stepped into a fanfiction, because why else would Bang fucking Chan have given her, out of all people, his number?
She decided to fuck it and texted the number he gave her, and he almost immediately responds.
‘Who are you?’ He demanded.
‘I’m y/n, you gave me this number in my album that you signed today.’ She replied.
‘What did we talk about today then?’ He asked her.
‘A little bit of everything, honestly, but we did talk about our pets. You talked about Berry, and I talked about my bunny Jack and how troublesome he is.’ Y/n told him. 
She also decided to send him a picture of herself, holding open his page of the album as she sat next to a clock to prove the time. Chan believed her, and told her as such. She then asks him why he decided to give her his number.
‘I watched your actions with the others and myself, and something about you and all of our interactions intrigued me. I felt there was something more to it all, and wanted to get to know you better.’ He explained, to which she was relieved it wasn’t a trick, but was also confused about how she intrigued him. She voiced those thoughts and to which he reassured her that he wasn’t tricking her, nor should she be confused about how she was interesting to him, because he honestly found her interesting from the start of their conversation at the fanmeet.
He further explained that the other members had no idea about what he had done, and he hadn’t planned on saying anything to them, unless y/n had reached out and told him it was okay to do so. Though that didn’t stop them from discussing her in the vans on the way back to the dorm, nor did it stop their discussion from spilling over into their group chat. He told her as much, and she was surprised to have made that much of an impression on them. Chan reassured her that their interactions with her were very memorable, from what he could gleam from the others’ conversations. What he didn’t tell her was that Minho had noticed Chan’s behavior, and signaled to the pack alpha that they would be talking after they arrived back at the dorm. 
Soon enough the boys arrived back at the dorm, and the leader had to say goodbye for now to y/n, Minho staring him down as they walked into the building and then the elevator. The other alpha grabbed his hand as soon as the elevator doors opened, and led him through the front door of the apartment, and straight to the Aussie man’s room.
“Who are you texting? And why am I sure it’s that girl from the fansign?” Minho interrogated him, not leaving him a second to talk. 
“You’re not wrong. I gave her my number.” Chan confessed.
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city-tickles · 5 days
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Two Tickle Sessions In One Day!
Hi!
It's been a while but I hope you are doing well. I am still on break from posting clips or requests but I wanted to let you know about my recent sessions.
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A month ago I was in one of those bad tickle moods. One of those moods where it was all you could think about and the rush of getting tickled or tickling someone was intense. I don't get these moods often and usually when I do, I don't like it because the last couple of times that has happened, I've received bad news about someone I care about, so it also makes me a little anxious when I get that way. Thankfully, it did not happen this time.
I needed to get the mood out but there was no one in the area to session with. Since no one was available, I decided to check out two parties that I have not been to in years. One M/M party and one Female Foot Party.
When it comes to M/M, I am 100% lee and it is something that does not give me much if any arousal. It's just tickling, and I can appreciate it. I'm sure I'd appreciate it more if it could "get me there" but I've seen enough clips and done sessions, and it usually doesn't. I also rarely do M/M because I have to be in a mood for it. This time, I was in a big mood for it, so I decided to go.
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I've spoken about the M/M party in the past. Last time I went about 8 years ago, I just wasn't comfortable or ready to be there and it seemed like the owner took umbrage with that when I tried to leave. I figured a lot of time has passed and I have gained more experience, so hopefully things would be fine. I explain why I wanted to go to the party, and I was allowed to go.
I entered the party, and as a cis-identifying male, it's a little overwhelming at first. Action (Everyone is clothed) is everywhere right in front of you, but everyone is also very nice and doing their thing. I like to give people space, but there was no space to go, so I was just watching everything go down lol.
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While waiting, I was introduced to a guy, who had grey hair and , who was also into tickling and we began talking. At first, the convo was small talk, but then we realized we knew each other from a previous meeting, which made things easier. After some talking, he asked what I was here for and when it comes to males, I am strictly a lee, so I told him I wanted to be tickled. Luckily, a massage table opened up and was cleaned off and ready to be used. We asked the table owner, who was a tall, slender man with grey hair and facial hair, if we could use it. Lucky or not lucky for me, we were allowed but the table owner was also into tickling. They asked me if he could join in and I figured why not?
I laid on the table and decided not to be bound because sometimes I stay still anyway. And before I know it, I have two lers all over me, testing out my spots and trying to find where I am most ticklish. They would glide their fingers all over my sides, under my arms, my tummy, my thighs and of course, my feet while I laughed and didn't move around too much. It was extra sensitive because 1. With the massage chair, I'm mostly looking upwards and can only see the ceiling. And 2. I'm getting teasing from all angles! The two very skilled lers keep saying things like, "Oh, he's real ticklish!" "I think he likes it!" While others at the party are watching and saying things like, "I think he doesn't want it to stop" and "He's having a lot of fun now"
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With two lers on me, I never had time to have one spot make me off the wall ticklish because it was always changing. Sometimes it was their fingers lightly tickling my stomach that was the most intense. Other times, it was harder touches on my feet by one of the lers. Sometimes it was an attack under my arms. There were a lot of different moments during the 20-30 minutes of tickling that just kept making me laugh hysterically. I do know at one point, a hairbrush was used because I felt it and that always felt more surprising than ticklish. The other interesting part about having two lers on your feet were both styles were different. One was lighter and the other was harder, but both were effective!
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(I couldn't find a MM/M gif)
After my time was done, I thanked them for the session and decided to wrap up since the party was coming to an end anyway. It was time to go to the next party.
This party, which I also had low hopes for, runs all the time in NYC and it is pay-to-play. I was that down bad, that I was willing to do it this evening lol. I went in with very low expectations and the reminder that if the first few moments are bad, I can just leave.
When I got there, it took forever for them to let me in, which already set my expectations to low. Despite this, I walked in and heard laughter already. Someone was getting tickled under the sheets, so I knew I wasn't the only tickler in the area. The girls that I saw in there were nice and chill to talk to for the most part. Some were more personable, while others just wanted to make their money, which I am not upset about. They're not there to be my friend.
The first lee was a tiny girl with red hair, and was ticklish but not that reactionary. I don't think she was ticklish on her feet at all, but I would always ask if it's okay to tickle elsewhere. Thankfully it was, and her upperbody, especially her arms, were her weakspot. She did not seem into it in the slightest, so I tried not to overdo it.
The second lee was this tall, black girl, with long hair and very nice to talk to. She wasn't sure how ticklish she could be, so I would tested some of her spots. Her feet were tolerable, her knees were very sensitive, and under her arms, she was almost unable to do!
I brought some tools that I didn't bring out at the M/M party (my bag at that party was all the way on the other side I just didn't want to bother with it) I ran an ostrich feather up and down her soles and her legs, which felt more relaxing to her. Then, I brought out TicklingDuck's device vibrating device.
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As the device touched her soles, she would laugh hard, squirm around, cover her mouth, and was genuinely shocked at something being so ticklish on her. I asked if I could use the device on her knees and she went "Oh no!" and let me do it anyway, which I didn't do for long because she couldn't handle it.
The third lee was another redhead, who was also a nice person to talk to and wearing boots and long socks. I tickled her through the socks first, which made her giggle a bit, before taking them off and scribbling on her toes and soles so more. Her feet were also moderately ticklish, so I asked if I could tickle other parts of her body. Her weakspot was the ribcage and made any other spot look like a 1 compared to them! I spent most of my time on her feet since the ribcage was so intense, but we did play a few games. I would tell her if she could let me tickle there for 10 seconds, she would get a reward, which would be a foot massage or other foot worship. She agreed and barely opened up her arms until I scribbled in there and teased her further, saying "You gotta let me get in there or I'm gonna increase the time" She opened up her ribs and it was the longest 10 seconds of her life. Afterwards, I would congratulate her for making it through and doing such a good job.
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After we were finished, I was ready to go since I had an obligation to get to later in the evening, but another taller woman approached me and asked me if I like tickling. She mentioned that she liked tickling to and wanted to know if I wanted to session. I was skeptical at first, because it felt like a money-grab, but I figured I'm already here so why not?
Best decision I made at that party. I started by spider tickling all the way up from her feet to legs, to her sides, across her tummy, back to her ribs, and of course under her arms. This woman was genuinely ticklish everywhere and was a lot of fun to play with. I would caress her thighs and tease like I'm about to tickle there, only to sneak attack and tickle her tummy. I brought out the TicklingDuck device again and we played another counting game to see how long she could last without moving, and I made sure to count the longest 30 seconds I could, running my fingers all across her tummy and under hear arms while she laughed her head off underneath the covers. The last thing I did to her, was bring out the pair of stocks that just arrived. I was itching to try them on someone and she was so excited to see stocks. We locked her bare feet and the stocks and I ran my fingers all across her soles and under her toes, while she was unable to get away or pull them out. While these sessions lasted 10 minutes, this one was definitely longer and we both knew it. After she was done, she complimented my ler skills, saying most male lers are rough, but I was very gentle with her, but also devastating, which I took as a big compliment.
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Before I left, I had one request for her. I had a hard time locking the stocks on myself at my home, but when I did, they were not very comfortable. I asked if she could test the stocks out on me to see how good they were. She obliged and got my feet in the stocks. Once I was locked in, she began running her nails across my soles, which was one of the more intense tickles I got all night! I laughed hard and and was unable to do anything else, my feet were trapped and that definitely made the tickling worse! She would tease me and say things like "Aww! Is someone ticklish?" And "Now who's ticklish" until I had to stop her because I really had to get going. I thanked her for the fun time and planned to come back in the future.
Overall, it was a great day of tickles and satisfied my ler and lee moods!
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zarla-s · 7 months
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Do you get anxious whenever you start drawing comic pages? Is that connected to ending of Handplates? It's like you're trying to find any random activity to avoid drawing comics. And your usual sketches get less and less dialogue. I'm asking because I'm worried and I don't know what's happening. D:
Hmm... I haven't really thought of things in these terms? I was like "eh that can't be right" but then I did a quick look back and it does look like I've been doing solo shots or single/two panel comics for a while, haha. I've just got a lot of small ideas or images I wanted to get out recently. And I've been writing a lot of fic! Which I haven't done in a while, which is nice. Writing a fic (particularly lengthy ones, like the Hell jailbreak or the hanahaki one) is a lot more time consuming than people might think. I started the hanahaki one in early December and only just posted it a few days ago...
I was doing Handplates for such a long time, like seven+ years and all, that I'm assuming the vast majority of you out there never really knew me when I wasn't doing it. The thing is that Handplates is a massive outlier - I never did any project of that scale before, or one that updated that consistently or took that much constant effort. Never! Most of the time before when I'd start a big project I'd get distracted and never finish it, or there'd be huge hiatuses between updates (Vargas). It was super weird to have such a big project I so consistently updated and worked on. It's not common for me! I'm amazed looking back on it all that I was so committed to it when so many other ones fell flat.
Handplates took up a LOT of my time, so with it over I've been doing some other things I wouldn't have had much time for before. Playing some games, taking screencaps, writing fic, web design, little small experiments like all my pixel stuff. Just trying out different things! I don't think I'd say I was anxious about doing a comic page... it's more so that I'm just tired, I think. I was doing these huge elaborate pages that'd take days to finish for so long - now that I don't have to do it anymore, my brain just wants to relax, haha.
The reason for the slow updates on Defrag is really that I keep getting stuck lol. It's not really focused like Handplates and I still don't really know how it'll end. I keep getting stuck on what should happen next, so I keep putting it off. It's just me being a lazy writer rather than having anxiety about doing a page. |D
At least, I think that's what it is...
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copperbadge · 9 months
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Every so often I get an Anon ask where I'm not entirely comfortable responding in public with no cut or warnings ahead of the text -- it's not that anything inappropriate is being said, it's just sometimes the subject matter's a little rough. This is one of those, so I decided to copy and paste it and put it behind a cut; warnings for discussion of abuse and fraught familial situations.
You've spoken about having ADHD before, and i was wondering if you have any links to websites with resources for adults with ADHD that are more than the very generic "stay organised!", "eat healthily!", "avoid distractions!" things? like, something that explains ADHD and WHY getting organised is good, maybe? or how ADHD may intersect with anxiety? my mother finally went to a doctor and got (as i expected) an ADHD diagnosis, but the doctor told her medication wouldn't give her much at this point, which is fine, but she's just kept going as usual for her, which is not.
she has ignored everything i've told her before (like, to think ahead and prioritise, to make plans, to make lists, that she has to be systematic about it, to stay calm because if she has a plan everything should be done on time) but she ignores me. she just starts doing whatever, whenever, and then getting annoyed/anxious that "nothing" is done, and then she starts yelling at me.
i just want her to realise she MUST at least attempt to be organised, and that it's not just for work stuff, it's for everything, including every day stuff like chores. (also, i'd like to stop being yelled at. like, some of my first memories are of getting yelled at. it's been years and years of regular bouts of screaming. now i know it's her and not me, and i'd. like it to stop)
i apologize for the huge ask/rant, but yeah, do you know of any resources that explain the importance of being organised? i think if i show her something 'official' maybe she'll start doing it. or do you have any personal tips for talking to her about it? or a book about someone's experience with ADHD? anything. anything at all.
So there is...much to unpack here, as the kids say, both in terms of what you are asking directly and what you are not asking but what I'm going to address anyway. I don't have any great resources for what you're looking for, because neurodiversity comes in a lot of shapes and sizes even within a single diagnosis, and as you likely know I'm a big proponent of doing-what-works, and that's something a person has to figure out for themselves. A lot of people seem to find ADDitude very relatable and they are informative, but that's probably the best general resource out there to go deeper than surface, and a good place for her to start reading if she wants to.
But the real problem, Anon, is that she's never going to listen to you.
That seems like a real bold statement, but it is also extremely likely to be true. Most people who get a diagnosis start to work on themselves and learn more about their unique neurology; it's clear she's not going to do that, and you can't make her. I'm sure some of it is that she's been told her entire life, by people with much more power over her than you, to do those things: be organized, make lists, have a plan. They are the hardest things for people with ADHD to do, and she can't simply whip herself through them, and so she learned long ago to ignore anyone saying anything about it. Medication could help with that a lot, actually, so your mother's doctor really fucked you both by telling her it wouldn't do anything for her; whether she's taken that as permission to ignore the problem or whether she just believed him, he did a really shitty thing in doing that.
Your mother is neurologically incapable of forcing herself to do many things that neurotypical people find easy. There are workarounds, yes; some of us do extremely well if we decide that EVERYTHING has to be planned, and behave accordingly. Some of us find stopgaps. But that has to be a decision she makes, to find workarounds for herself. It's not something you can offer her with helpful websites or books, because she is also likely very deep in shame about it, to judge from her other behaviors. That's not your fault, which means it's also not your job to fix it.
And here's the other problem: you are in an abusive home situation where your mother is taking out her frustration with her mental illness by hurting you.
And that really really sucks and I'm really, really sorry. But the screaming-at-you, which absolutely should not be happening, is a result of decades of frustration at the world that won't accommodate her, combined with an inability to regulate her emotions. Unless she is medicated or learns better regulation or at least picks a different target, it's not going to stop. That's not your fault either. Some of it isn't even her fault. (Some of it is; mental illness is not our choice but it is our responsibility, and she is not behaving as either an adult or a parent should in abusing you because she can't find somewhere else to put all her emotions.)
Presumably you are either too young to leave or can't afford to, but the best possible thing you can do for yourself is get out as soon as you can, sever yourself from her financially, and then decide what level of interaction you want with her going forward. Honestly, may be the best thing for her as well, to realize that if she doesn't make a change, she will lose access to her child.
I realize that is almost certainly not immediately possible, however. Do not leave if you are going to a less safe situation, either. Be smart and strategic -- make your plans and prepare as much as possible ahead of time.
"So in the meantime, Sam, what the fuck am I supposed to do?"
Bearing in mind that we are going to assume you cannot help your mother, as she either doesn't want help or is in denial or both, the best thing you can do if you can't get out is to shore yourself up: remind yourself as regularly as possible that none of this is your fault, and do your best to protect yourself both emotionally and physically. IE, if she's not organized enough to buy groceries or cook, do what you can to make sure you are regularly fed -- do not concern yourself with whether she eats. That's her responsibility, she's a grownup. If you are likely to be yelled at for this -- well, she was always going to yell at you about something; it might as well be as a result of you caring for yourself first. As much as you can, spend time away from her if possible.
Given her past behavior, especially if you are an only child or oldest sibling, you may already be de-facto head of household; this may be simply a process of assuming actively that she can't fulfill that role, and doing what you can to care for yourself and any siblings. If you have other family who understand the situation, I strongly suggest tapping them for help. As much as you can, reach out to adults in your life you trust, and get their help in caring for yourself and your family without needing to depend on her for support.
I don't wish to stigmatize mental illness or addiction but living with someone in denial about the impact of their mental health on those around them is exactly like living with an addict: the best strategy is to expect nothing from them, remind yourself often that you are not to blame for this situation, look out for yourself first and foremost, and get out once you can. I'm really sorry it has to be that way, because it shouldn't be. But I'm concerned with you, not with her, and if you want to build a better life for yourself, it's going to have to be one that doesn't depend on you being able to change someone else.
I'm afraid I don't have a lot of books for you about that, either. I wish you all the luck -- you shouldn't need it, but unfortunately sometimes we still do.
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altraviolet · 10 months
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How do you find a character's 'voice'? I have no problem writing OCs, but when it comes to existing characters I get so anxious that I'm mischaracterizing them!
This is a great question! This is definitely something I struggle with sometimes. Here are some of the things I've done to try to keep characterization consistent:
watched a bunch of videos about characterization and the craft of writing
gone back to the canon and reread parts that featured the character you're trying to write
reduced the character to like, ONE descriptor, ONE "essence," if you will. JRO did a great job making very identifiable characters for us. although many of the initial characterizations are modified by the end of the comic, you can still use that "essence". I'll give an ex in a minute but after you identify that "essence," keep it in mind for your character when you write them
when writing from their POV, or from a close third narration (or heck second person talking to them), remember what the character knows. how did they get to the place they are now? what kinds of details in a room would they notice?
This is not all I've done but it would take me SO LONG to put together more points so we'll move on~!
Okay so for more details on the above:
The Essence Thing
I think Ultra Magnus is a really good example of this. We're introduced to him having a very specific outlook on life (we literally see through his eyes in one early panel, it's great). We understand him to be a VERY strict mech who adheres to the Autobot Law to the letter (semi-colon, actually, lol). We see him meticulously arrange and rearrange objects, we see him point out screws that are misaligned by 0.001% (paraphrase, I don't remember the exact wordage). All in all, it's really easy to understand in just a couple of words who he is. Meticulous to a fault. Rodimus distracts him by using bad grammar on purpose.
By the end of the comics, he's loosened up a little. And (SPOILERS for the end of the comics), Megatron telling him to abandon his armor and be true to himself is something he's receptive to. Whereas in the beginning he wore it as somewhat literal armor. And refused to smile.
So what have I done with my fic? Well, it's important to keep in mind that UM isn't going to change all his ways. He won't be as much of a stickler as before, because he's learned to have friends in some capacity, and that's loosened him up a little tiny bit. But he's going to retain that core trait of being really into keeping things neat and tidy. And, the UM that Megatron told to abandon his armor isn't the one that made the jump. So I assumed they had that convo later in their friendship. The TEG UM still has those organized traits (cuz it's funny), but he's not as bad as he used to be.
So hopefully that makes sense. Boil your character down to a trait or two and keep it in mind for everything.
Oh boy the asks are piling up so I'm gonna try to go a bit faster now.
What The Character Knows
Let's do a little thought experiment. Tailgate and Drift walk into a random Autobot bar. What does each mech notice?
If I said one of them quickly identifies friendly mechs and the other one identifies unfriendly mechs, can you tell which did which? Who notices the energon specials and who takes note of the weapons behind the bar? Which one will remember a time he went with his conjunx to a bar and didn't get in a fight? haha
Okay so you can probably guess the answers that I intended for the above! Drift had a hard past, then became a violent Decepticon. Tailgate was asleep for 6 million years and then woke up and befriended a ton of people and had Movie Nights and also some trauma but he never had to fight for his life like Drift did.
So, as you can see, what the character knows (which is informed by their past, their education, their belief systems, the friends they have, the enemies they have, etc) really impacts how they see the world. And you can use that to your advantage by trying to look through their eyes keeping in mind what they know.
Sorry I'm gonna have to end this here, but this is a great topic. I'll try to write more about character voice and POV in the future. If you want to poke me later about it here or on twitter, please do. I will get my thoughts together and also find the links to the videos I've watched :)
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lucy90712 · 1 year
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Can you do a pedri x gf!reader imagine where she’s with him during all of The Residency shoot & sees that the girl social media worker has been getting a little too close for comfort. Gf tries to stay calm the whole time until she finally snaps & then she thinks pedri is gonna be upset at her but he’s actually really turned on by the fact that she’s territorial of him
A/n: I changed it up a bit as I don’t usually write stuff like this so I hope it’s ok
WC: 2.1k
Yesterday afternoon Pedri asked me to go with him to his shoot with the residency today because he gets a bit awkward when on camera so he wanted me to be there so there was a familiar face in the room. Of course I agreed to go as I always love spending time with him and I think it's sweet that he wants me there but I'm definitely a little bit nervous too. I have always been really anxious about meeting new people so to be in a room full of them is a bit nerve wracking for me but I am going to be there for Pedri and I'm sure everything will be fine.
This morning Pedri had training which he brought me to as well because we had to go to the shoot right after. I haven't been to one of his training sessions in a long time so it was nice to see the whole team as I get on with them all really well. Getting to talk to the guys before we had to leave relaxed me as I remembered meeting them all and being so nervous but I survived and now we are all good friends so I will be fine with meeting the crew for the shoot. They all knew where we were going so they told us to have fun and Robert told me to make sure I enjoy myself as he knows how anxious I get. Pablo also sent me a smile which didn't need any words with it as I knew what he was trying to say. 
On the drive Pedri kept me talking about anything other than the shoot and he held my hand tightly to keep me distracted which he is very good at. Once we arrived the crew all came outside to greet us and Pedri got out the car first to say hi before opening my door for me and introducing me to everyone. My anxiety faded quite quickly as everyone was so lovely and they were more interested in Pedri which meant I was able to just blend into the background and take some time to calm down. We all went inside and Pedri got his hair done while someone else explained everything they would be doing which started off with a live stream and then they wanted him to film some TikToks which I just know Pedri will hate. 
"Amor do you want to be on camera?" Pedri asked 
Our relationship is semi public so people know we are together but we don't often post with each other only on special occasions. Most pictures of us together are taken by other people as I don't like to put myself out there too much as I only ever get hate anyway. So being part of a live stream isn't really up my alley but I don't mind if I'm seen in the background.
"I would prefer to not be but I don't mind being seen in the background" I said 
"Thats ok we can keep you out of shot" one of the men there said 
"Thank you" I said 
Once Pedri was ready they got everything up and started the live stream so I sat out of the shot but somewhere were I could still see what was going on. Things started off simply as they got Pedri to play some fifa which he does a lot at home so that made him more relaxed and I could tell he was starting to really enjoy himself. Whenever he scored he looked over in my direction to see my reaction like he does when we are at home so I gave him a big smile which he returned. After the game they made him do karaoke which even I've never seen before as he refuses every time we go out, it was so hard not to laugh at him but I held back my laughter as not to disrupt anything. 
The next thing on the list was a Q&A but most of the questions were things I've heard him answer a million times so I kind of lost focus and started paying attention to other things. As I was doing so I noticed the girl that's part of the team getting rather close to Pedri. I'm used to seeing things like this as fans quite often get close to Pedri or other girls when we go out places but they never go too far so it doesn't really bother me. This girl however was already getting on my nerves as she was constantly staring at him like not taking her eyes off of him. She was also sat really close to Pedri and I could tell he was feeling uncomfortable with her so close but she didn't take the hint, if anything she got closer to him. 
Now that I've noticed it I have found myself constantly looking and getting more annoyed by the second. The girl then touched his hand which he instantly moved out the way but I could feel the jealousy and anger coursing through my veins. I'm not one for confrontation in fact I would usually do anything to avoid it but this girl was really getting on my nerves. She was touching my man right in front of my face without a care in the world which is driving me insane. I know Pedri would never even entertain this on any normal day but today he can't do anything without looking like an asshole in front of thousands of fans on the livestream which is so unfair as this girl is definitely taking advantage of that. If it were possible there would definitely be steam coming out of my ears but it's not so instead I can feel my cheeks heating up in anger. 
Eventually after what felt like hours of torture the livestream ended and Pedri was finally able to escape that girl and come over to where I was sat. He sat next to me and put his arm loosely around my waist which made me feel a whole lot better. As much as I hate what this girl is doing Pedri has done nothing wrong and I need to remember that he loves me not this other girl. Having him by my side made me feel so much better as all of his attention was on me and not on that other girl and he was telling me how he is actually willing to do karaoke with me now. We were having a good time and he was just about to kiss me when the girl came over and rudely interrupted by telling Pedri that they had to get back to filming now. He whispered that he was sorry and the look in his eyes told me that he felt bad but it didn't stop the anger building up in me again. 
She dragged him away from me and outside so I had to follow behind and find somewhere to sit but everywhere I went to sit she made someone move to get in my way. In the end I gave up and just sat on my phone but I made sure to keep an eye on what was going on as I'm no fool so I'm not taking my eyes off that girl. Having my eyes on her made absolutely no difference as she was getting more and more touchy by the second. Instead of just asking Pedri to move to where he was needed she put her hands on his chest and I swear I saw her drag her hand down his abs but that could just be the jealousy taking over.
The longer I was sat there watching the more I felt like I had to do something. My last boyfriend cheated on me because I was too soft and I just let him go out with all these girls because I trusted him but I'm not going to let that happen again. I trust Pedri I really do but I'm not going let some girl take advantage of that he's my boyfriend and she needs to be respectful of that and leave him alone. As they were filming I was thinking about all the outrageous things I could do to put this girl in her place most of which were absolutely crazy and would probably get me arrested and definitely ruin Pedri's reputation but then I thought of a great idea that wasn't too much but got my message across. 
As if the world was reading my mind they stopped filming to take a quick break, I didn't need telling twice so I put my plan into action. I got myself up and wandered over to Pedri with a level of sass I don't think I've ever reached before in my life but it felt great. I walked straight over to Pedri and put my hand on his chest as I stood in front of him which took him by surprise as I don't think I've ever acted like this in my life let alone around him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that the girl was staring at the both of us so I put the rest of my plan into action and got on my toes to kiss Pedri. He was still in shock so I was able to kiss him more passionately which helped me release some of the anger I was feeling and it was definitely annoying the girl which is a huge bonus. 
After I pulled away Pedri smiled at me and pressed another kiss to my lips before the girl said they were going to start filming again so I walked away and went back to my position on the outside chair. As I sat down my rush of adrenaline dissipated and along with it went all the extra confidence I had just gathered leaving me feeling awful about what I just did. I'm really not one to do something like that and I'm not really sure why I did it, I mean it's not like Pedri was paying any attention to this girl and we won't ever see her again so it doesn't matter if she was touchy or not. Guilt flowed through my body as I realised that in the heat of the moment I made a stupid decision that probably doesn't paint me in the best light if someone were to tell the story without my side. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and I can't believe I let myself get carried away with it Pedri probably thinks I'm some psycho now as he's never seen me act in such a way in the whole time we've known each other. 
For the rest of the shoot I just sat quietly letting my thoughts take over so when it was finally time for us to leave I politely thanked all the crew and said goodbye before getting out of there as quickly as humanly possible. I was silent on the drive home too as I was still feeling bad about overreacting like that and trying to think of what I could say to Pedri to apologise for embarrassing him in front of a brand he works with. When we arrived home I went straight inside to start making dinner as I feel like I need to do something nice for Pedri to help him forgive me for acting like a crazy woman. 
"Amor is everything ok?" Pedri asked
"Yeah everything's fine" I replied bluntly 
"Come on I know somethings up you were so quiet on the drive home, if it's that girl I promise I would've done more to push her away if I could but I only love you you know that right" he said 
"It's not that I feel awful for acting the way I did" I admitted 
"What do you mean?" He asked 
"The way I kissed you just to get her to back off I shouldn't have done that because it just makes you look bad but I just got so carried away with my jealousy that I couldn't stop myself I'm sorry" I said 
"There's no need to be sorry baby you didn't do anything wrong you just kissed me which you're allowed to do plus I thought it was hot the way you wanted to show her I'm yours" he said 
"Really you didn't think it was too much" I questioned 
"No I loved it you're so hot when you get jealous plus that kiss was amazing 10/10 I might have to make you jealous again so you'll kiss me like that" he joked 
"Please don't do that I can kiss you like that without being jealous" I said 
"Well go on then" he smirked 
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Text
Rough Waters ~ P.P.
A/n: Added a little bit more than what the request asked for. Hope you like it!
Request: “Tasm!peter x male reader, where Pete and reader been having a rough time in their relationship to where Peter asks if reader wants to break up” by anon
Word Count: 1700+
MASTERLIST
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"Where have you been?"
Peter frozen, mask in hand as he heard his partner's voice. He turned slowly - like a teenager caught coming home past curfew. He hesitated, analyzing their expression and body language to try to grasp whether they were anxious or angry. What time was it? He was in costume - they knew exactly where he'd been, which meant the problem was something else. Had he forgotten an anniversary or birthday? A performance? Had he stayed out too late and forgotten to message his boyfriend?
There were too many possibilties.
Y/n was especially hard to read tonight, which meant he was even more upset than usual. Peter braced himself. "Out."
That was not the right thing to say. Y/n's face turned a light shade of red as he tried very hard to keep calm and talk slowly. Calmly. "Okay. I'll give you that one." His eyes dropped to Peter's suit and for a second the most visceral rage crossed his face, before he smoothed it out again and met Peter's eyes. "I'm assuming you forgot then."
Peter shrugged, defensive. Always defensive. "I've got a lot going on Y/n, I forget."
"You forget," Y/n scoffed. The words curled from his lips like they were almost laughable, almost offensive. "I know you forget Peter. You forget, a lot."
He swallowed, wringing his mask. He felt cornered and he never responded well when he felt cornered. "What did I forget? Don't just leave it up in the air."
The calm coming from Peter seemed to make Y/n angrier. "No. I'm not going to remember everything for you. And don't you dare-" He rushed as Peter went to argue again, cutting him off before he could. "-start with me about how busy you are. I know you are busy Peter Benjamin." Ooh, middle name. This was very bad then. "If it was something I at least cared about I'd let it slide. I'm more than used to that. But May?"
His words hurt, but nothing knocked the breath out of his lungs like thinking he'd let May down. "What? Y/n you can't hold this from me, what did I forget?"
Y/n scoffed, turning away and heading further into the apartment. He seemed done with the conversation.
Peter wasn't though. He chased his boyfriend, his own anger growing. This wasn't something they could work through together - May was waiting for something from him. Y/n was holding him back from doing something for his aunt. This wasn't a small thing - this was huge. May didn't know Peter was Spider-Man. Had Y/n given him an excuse again? Was she okay? "Y/n-" He reached out, grabbing his boyfriend's arm in a desperate attempt to get him to stop.
Usually Y/n would pull away from him, spin around and start going off. Reprimand him and tell him everything and then they'd argue and after a while maybe cry and then they'd hold each other because it felt like their relationship was falling through their fingers. They did it every time anything went wrong - it was habit. Easy to play out. Every step was expected. Pre-written.
Except Y/n just stopped walking away. He froze, feet together, still looking away from Peter. It was so unexpected, so cold and far away, that it made Peter panic more than he'd ever panicked in their relationship before. He was stiff solid for a beat before he was falling forward, feet tripping to keep up as he made his way around Y/n. The man's eyes were blank. Empty. There was no anger on his face anymore, just... emptiness. He look exhausted.
"Y/n-" Peter began.
"It was May's birthday."
There was a long silence. It went on maybe even too long as Peter's will to fight suddenly left him. It was immediately gone - like a light switch turned off. He had been forgetful recently, scattered and distant. But.. surely he wouldn't forget that. Not something so important. He'd always rushed to keep himself busy. Work, Spider-Man, relationship. Or... arguing. Fighting. Had that really been every part of his life recently? Sure he did other things -
But, no. He couldn't think of a single other thing he'd done. Sleep, eat, shower, brush teeth, work, Spider-Man, come home and argue. When had arguing become part of the routine? When had the days started to blend together, every single one identical to the last? How had so much time passed without him even realizing it?
How long had they been like this?
He looked at Y/n, a horrible feeling sinking in his skin, settling in his rib cage. An ache. "We're not working anymore, are we?" He knew why Y/n didn't fight this time. Why he'd given up. There was nothing to fight for. Not when all they did was argue.
Y/n didn't even sigh, or shrug. He just sat on the bed. No hands through his hair. He didn't seem angry of frustrated or even sad. Just tired. It was more of an answer than he could have ever given with words. "We haven't worked for a very long time, Peter."
Peter sat on the other side of the bed, mask still in his hands, dangling between his legs. They sat like that for a very long time, backs to each other. It seemed silly, but he had to ask it out loud. "Do you want to break up?" His voice sounded heavy, hollow. It didn't even shock him. He realized it still hurt... but he'd seen this coming for a long time. That was why he was avoiding it, after all. He didn't want to address it. He had always been one to bury his head and pretend nothing was wrong.
This time Y/n did sigh. "Yeah." No argument. No fight. Just one, single word. It was so final, Peter didn't say anything else. He didn't even look up as the weight on the bed lifted and a few sounds here and there began to be made. A zipper, drawers opening and closing, a few doors opening and closing. Until - "You were worth it. In the end. I'm glad we got the time we did." A pause and then, "Peter?" When he didn't say anything, Y/n went silent. Then the bedroom door closed, and the apartment door opened, and then closed again.
The rest of the night was silent.
-
The daycare was loud. Peter was only here because May had asked him for a favor. Her neighbor had been caught up with something and needed someone to pick up her son. The first time had been a few months ago, and he had volunteered to pick the kid up for her as often as he could since then. It helped her out and... and...
Y/n was helping Michael - the child Peter was supposed to pick up - with his jacket. Y/n had kneeled down, and was laughing at some story Michael was telling. He looked breathtaking. All the weight from his shoulders gone, seeming to have slept very well. Brighter than before. He looked up when Peter approached, and not a lick of recognition was in his eyes. Peter thought back to the other world, with the two other Peters and the villains they'd fought together. The spell that would send everyone home and make everyone forget about Peter Parker.
Everyone.
He swallowed, forcing himself to collect himself. Y/n's eyes light up in the way they always did when he was looking at something he found wonderful. Or someone attractive. They'd seen each other from a distance so often. Y/n was usually busy with one of the other kids who favored him, a little girl with green eyes that always begged him to help her get her shoes on. Today she was with one of the other teachers though. Peter tried to dismiss the thought that Y/n might have arranged this on purpose.
"Hey little dude," he greeted Michael first, grinning as the toddler waddled up to him, hands reaching up. Peter scooped him up. Michael launched into a story about play time where they'd pretended to be Spider-Man. Peter felt his heart warm. He'd only been back from the other world for a year - and undoing his tarnished reputation had been hard work. But some people saw the old Spider-Man, and they were slowly opening up to him again. Glad to see him doing better. Some people didn't - but some people never would have in the first place, so he didn't hold it against himself too harshly.
In the middle of the story, Y/n chuckled. "Right?" Michael asked the teacher, as if remembering he was there for the first time. "You got the bad guy!"
Y/n blushed. The way Michael had been telling the story, Peter had assumed the boy had been playing Spider-Man. But, in that moment, it clicked that Y/n had been playing the hero, leaving the mischievous villain to the youth. "Spider-Man always gets the bad guy. That's what heroes do." Peter's breath caught. he hadn't heard Y/n call him a hero in a very long time. His unknowing ex looked over, suddenly sheepish "Sorry, I know- um- not a lot of people approve of Spider-Man. I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay," Peter was quick to reassure. "His mom is a fan of Spider-Man. But even if she wasn't, I wouldn't rat you out." He winked, as if they were conspirators, and he watched Y/n's face turn red. It was so easy to pick up on all their little hints and expressions - they were still so familiar to him. He hadn't forgotten a single detail of them, even after all this time. He had gone to another world, cleaned up his act, and even started therapy.
Maybe a second chance wouldn't be too out of the question. He could do it better this time.
"A trust worthy guy," Y/n mused. "Does he keep his promises?"
Peter thought on it. Y/n had said something similar the first time he had flirted with Peter too. He'd follow it up with, 'maybe you can promise me dinner then?' or something. But it was a real question - one Peter hadn't taken seriously enough the first time it was asked. "I try to."
Y/n's face light up with a smile. "Maybe you could promise we a coffee and if you succeed keeping that one, we can make a few more after that."
It was better than last time, so quickly on a better foot already. Peter smiled. "Yeah. I'd love that."
Y/n had been right the night he'd left. Peter was glad they'd met, and their love was worth all of the mess they'd gone through to experience it. This time, Peter would try harder though. This time it would work. He was sure of it.
-
Male Readers: @ravenpuff-oli @sortzz @fadedver
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turbulentscrawl · 10 months
Text
Identity(V) Headcanons: Frederick Kreiburg
Frederick's headcanons got a little more...medical than some of the others I've done so far. I'm no expert in this stuff, but I do my best to be comprehensible and respectful where certain disorders have to be mentioned. As always, hope you guys like it!
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-Ashes of Memory states that Frederick was diagnosed with ‘psychasthenia’ at some point in his childhood, but this isn’t used as a diagnosis in modern medicine. Instead, it’s a term used to describe a collection of symptoms commonly associated with disorders like OCD. It includes anxiety, obsession, compulsions, depersonalization, nervous ticks, and can even affect one’s memory.
-Personally, I also think he has synesthesia. Frederick mentions colors in relation to music a lot (especially gold), and while this could just be something relating to his other condition, I prefer to take it as literal. It’s part of the reason he was enamored after hearing his father play, why he obsessed with music. Frederick grew up in an onslaught of overwhelming chaos, colors bursting and fading wildly across his senses incomprehensible in his day to day, enhancing his anxiety…but when the recital started there was only the song. One symphony of sound and color, appearing before him in a long, unbroken stream. It was peaceful. And he became obsessed with that peace.
-This also explains his “un-Kreiburg-like skills.” His music is not like what the rest of his family composes because he’s writing it to suit both sound and color. He can perfectly identify pitch and can play most songs entirely “by ear” after hearing them only once or twice, but he’s obsessed with the stream of colors keeping a certain rhythm to them, which doesn’t always lend itself to “traditional” Kreiburg music.
-Frederick’s personality is very affected by the above struggles/disorders. He’s a very kind person at his core, as well as very earnest, but he is plagued by fear, anxiety, and extreme self-criticism. He becomes overwhelmed easily. He is entirely aware of all his struggles, his failures, and wrestles every day with the knowledge that he’s a disappointment to his family. Sometimes his situation brings him to tears, sometimes to destructive wrath.
-Frederick has come to accept his need for appearances, that people mostly like him because of his looks and his familial relations. But on his worst days he can’t even rely on that much because his communication begins to break down. His speech becomes disjointed and frantic, he’s tense and twitchy, a look of horror sinks deep into his face. To protect what remains of his reputation, he hides away during these times.
-When he is with people, he behaves as a gentleman should, albeit a reclusive one. He’s terrified of being judged further, but craves understanding and praise, so he maintains personal distance while remaining remarkably enthusiastic about musical discussion. He’s never told anyone but his family about his diagnosis or his synesthesia. They are both sources of shame for him.
-When at his most anxious, he has a tendency to pull at his hair. Whole clumps of his long hair have been lost to the worst of his fits. He’s not particularly sensitive about any resulting bald spots on his scalp, but he does try to cover them with his normal ponytail style because he knows they would affect people’s attraction to him.
-He despises the sound of dogs barking. Which is a shame, because he does like dogs. Their barking is just burry, red fireworks right in the middle of his vision. It always startles him and makes it impossible to do or focus on anything.
-His love language is Gift Giving, and the “gifts” he gives are, predictably, usually songs. It’s his primary skill, of course, so as far as Frederick is concerned, he has nothing else worth offering besides music made in the name of his loved one. He’d be devastated if these musical gifts weren’t appreciated; Frederick can’t take much more rejection. His favorites Love Languages to receive are Word of Affirmation and Acts of Service. He’s secretly a bit desperate for praise, and any actions you take to support his work or help improve his reputation as a musician are better than gold.
-He likes to match his clothes to the primary colors he sees in the songs he’s performing. During his recitals, he changes coats often.
-He’s a picky eater with a powerful sweet tooth. If he could have it his way, he’d subsist mostly on desserts.
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sgojoenthusiast · 1 year
Text
virgin problem
✧.* geto x reader
summary:
geto hates when you talk about guys. guys who just want to use your virgin body and leave you heartbroken. his solution? use your virgin body himself. less heartbreak, and he gets the girl he’s pined after for years.
cw: smut, slight slapping & choking, dumbification, degrading, gentle sex, virginity loss, pussy eating,
word count: 2.3k
likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.
-`♡´-
You could trust Suguru geto with your life. During your darkest times, he was your light and during the coldest weather, he was your warmth.
When he wasn't with you, you felt a piece of you missing and when he was, you were whole again.
Yet, you swore it wasn't love. Platonically, yes, you loved him dearly. However, anything more would be to risk your relationship with him, and just the thought alone was unnerving and made your heart split.
The idea of losing him felt like no other pain because the connection you had with him felt like the equivalent of heaven.
Every conversation, every joke, every moment where your eyes would meet felt undeserving because what had you done to deserve such a euphoric feeling?
It was moments like this that reassured these thoughts. Moments where you sat in your room, talking about nothing in particular because you felt you could tell him anything, big or small.
This time, you were talking to him about some guy you had been speaking to. However, the comfort you constantly feel around him overshadows his prominent tense shoulders and curt replies as you continue rambling about your date, not noticing his rigid behaviour.
"I'm serious, Sugu, he's so sweet and treats me well!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." he dismissed.
Soon enough, geto noticed your excitable energy begin to deflate into anxiety.
To him, your feelings felt like his own, your pain shifted into his and even though he couldn't tell what was wrong with your sudden mood change, he could still feel it as though it was his feelings. Like he was the one experiencing whatever was going through your anxious mind.
"Hey," he nudged your shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know, i just," you began, "I guess I'm sorta nervous you know- like I've never been with a guy before so-"
"What, you a virgin?" he laughed, before noticing the embarrassment on your face. "You're a virgin?"
"Well- like, I guess so." you mumbled, the idea of talking like this with him was nerve wracking because he was just so...
"There's no in between, sweetheart. You've either been fucked or you haven't. Which is it?" He leaned in close to you, your noses were practically touching as you inhaled the same air he breathed like it was a drug, and with every moment that passed with you in this position, you grew more intoxicated on the drug that is Suguru Geto.
Attractive. He was so fucking attractive.
"No. No I haven't." you said meekly, though you tried to come off as confident as he was.
At your words, geto backed up into his previous spot next to you. "Why are you so nervous then? Bet this guy's just another perv looking for an innocent virgin like you to fuck 'n leave." he rolled his eyes and you gently slapped his arm.
"I told you he's nice! He wouldn't do that." you took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm nervous because I don't know what I'm doing when... well, you know-" you trailed off, not wanting to say it in protection of the little pride you had left from this humiliating conversation.
"And I told you that all men want is a sweet little virgin pussy, your man ain't any different, princess."
"You just sound jealous, Suguru. What, you wanna fuck me instead, huh?" you scoffed at his audacity yet trembled at his intensity.
"So what if I do?" he breathed, his cautious hands coming up to the side of your face, tilting your face towards his. "What? You'd rather a perv like him fuck you? Well if that's what you want, then I'll just leave. You're the one with the virgin problem, princess." he winked at you, before he distanced himself away from you, picking his jacket up on his way to your door.
"Wait." There was no hesitation as Geto stopped in the doorway, itching to hear your next words. though, he never turned around.
'What am I doing?' you asked yourself. For so long you had been pushing your real feelings away, due to the risk of losing someone so special to you. However, once you discovered Suguru's requited feelings, everything changed.
Every pushed down emotion of love, admiration and lust was set alight, sparking like fireworks within you. You had felt so alive in the short moments where Geto's face was inches away from yours, and in result of this, the you that had battled these feelings away had died as a casualty of a long lasting mental war, causing life within your true feelings towards him.
You had never craved something so much in your life. He truly was an intoxicating drug.
Treading carefully around your next words, you think of a way to tell him you need him. You think of a way to tell him you have already forgotten about the boy you had been speaking to, in fact, it was as though you had never known him, because all you wanted to know was Geto.
"I want you, not him." you crawled towards the edge of the bed, silently begging him to turn around. "I never wanted him, Suguru. Only you."
"So?" he said unmoving, prompting you. You knew what he wanted you to say, and god were you tempted to say it.
"So I want you to fuck me, Suguru." you said in a sultry voice, trying oh so hard to tempt him to come back, and when he did, you could feel every bone in your body rattling against your skin in anticipation of this moment.
His eyes met yours in an intense manner, searching for uncertainty or hesitation, yet he had yet to find any as he marched across the room, grabbing your face and kissing you fervently, unwilling to let you go.
"You got any idea how much I've wanted to do this? Fucking killed me listening to you bitch about all these guys who didn't work out when I was right here, baby." he muttered delicately against your lips as he begun to push you back down towards the bed, leaning over you.
He began to kiss down your body slowly, leaving careful caresses from the tips of his fingers behind as though he was trying to feel you in every way possible.
He tugged at your shirt, asking for permission. “Do you mind?” he asked. His eyes were wide and urgent. You nodded and smiled at him, which was enough for him to begin to remove your clothes.
Once you were bare beneath him, he continued to kiss your body, leaving slight marks wherever his lips would trace. As time moved on, his lips slowly began to make their way down your thighs, kissing you everywhere but where you wanted him.
His hands gripped firmly onto your thighs, pushing them up and pulling them apart, leaving him more than enough room for his head to hover over your aching pussy as his eyes pierced through yours.
He never took his eyes off you. Even as he licked straight up your pussy and circled his tongue around your clit, his eyes never left yours.
“Just watch baby. Gonna treat you so well ‘cause you’ve always been so good f’me, ain’t that right, princess?” he asked gently, though the air around him shifted when he lacked an answer from you. “Baby, I can't treat you well if you’re not gonna behave for me. You answer when I speak to you, got it? Now tell me how good you are for me if you want me to eat this sweet little pussy out.” Suguru demanded, and the thought of him leaving your pussy untouched could make you cry on the spot.
“I’m your good little girl, Sugu, always so good for you-“ you cut yourself off with a moan when his tongue began to glide through your pussy.
His hand left your thigh and his fingers trailed down towards your aching cunt. You cried and cried at the feeling of his tongue, but nothing could have prepared you for the feeling of one of his fingers slowly entering your desperate hole.
It never felt this good on your own. His fingers could reach places you had never been able to, and you were positive you wouldn’t ever be able to make yourself feel as good as Geto made you feel as he slipped in another finger and sucked on your pulsing clit.
You weren’t sure whether it was what he was doing, or if it was him that was doing it, but fuck you had you never felt so pleasured in your life.
Your body thrashed around, on the verge of an intense orgasm as you moaned and whined out suguru’s name and other incoherent words.
“Sugu, I’m g’nna-“
“Come on my face, princess.” he said immediately.
The vibrations of his voice against your pussy made your toes curl as your back arched off the bed, coming undone entirely on his face.
Your breathing is fast and your eyes are shut as geto leans over you, tilting your head towards his making you open your eyes.
You weren’t sure how such pleasure could possibly feel better. The way he worshipped you, kissing every inch of your honeyed skin as though the taste of you intoxicated his mind, which, if you asked him, it did.
Geto began to remove his own clothes above you, throwing everything carelessly to the side as his eyes remained locked on yours.
He leaned back down towards you, analysing your face for any features he had missed before he had been able to come so close to you.
“You still thinking about that guy now, baby? Hm?” he asked condescendingly, as though he already knew the answer from the way his name was the only thing that had left your lips since he began to eat you out.
However, your mind was foggy and his words sounded foreign.
A harsh slap to your face woke you up from your trance and earned a pained whine from your lips, confused as to why Suguru had begun to treat you so harshly.
Geto’s hand reached down towards your neck and began to squeeze, conveying a warning without his words that would shortly follow.
“See, I’m trying to be nice to you, baby, but you’re making it so fucking hard when you treat me with disrespect. This is the second damn time, you should have learned by now.” he said in a manner that with any other string of words would have sounded loving. “So next time, when I talk to you, ask you a fucking question, what are you gonna do?” his hand tightened around your throat.
“I'm sorry, Sugu! I'll answer! Next time I'll answer, I promise!” you cried, securing a satisfied humming noise from Geto as he released your neck and leaned down to press a gentle kiss where his hand had been. “Now, what do you have to say? Are you still thinking about that dickhead or not?” he asked.
“No, no, just you Suguru! Only ever you.”
“Such a good little girl. Now, are you ready for my cock? You want that, princess?”
Little words but agreements fell from your sweet lips that his mind had desired for years.
Geto intertwined your hands together either side of your head, your fingers lacing lustfully as he began to slowly enter you.
He muttered delicate praises in your ear about how good you were for him, how sweetly you took his big cock and how amazing you were doing.
The pain was almost unbearable, if Geto hadn’t been there to soothe you through it from the sensitive swipes of his thumb against your hand, and the saccharine kisses he left against your lips, face and neck, you never would’ve felt the eventual pleasure that blurred from the pain.
geto’s hips moved softly against yours, not even just for your own sake, but for his own. your pussy felt so, so good to him, he was losing himself. If he moved any faster he’d cum on the spot, and this night wouldn't end so soon if he could help it.
“God your pussy was made for me-“ he said in between moans and grunts, making you clench around him.
You looked up at him with your sultry and tear-filled eyes. “I want you to go faster, Suguru.” you said alluringly.
Like a dog, geto had no problem obeying your every order. Anything to make you feel better, even at the expense of him losing his shit.
His body moved fluently against yours, hitting that spot within you with every careful yet equally as fast thrust. He lost himself within you as your mind had nothing yet the thought of his body against yours. You moaned and gasped passionately as he whispered praises in your ear.
Geto let go of your hands and dragged his own down your body, kissing and touching you in every way you needed.
He pulled your legs from around his waist and pushed them up and over his shoulders to get better access to your beautiful cunt as your hands found his back, scratching and clawing in pure satisfaction.
Your back arched and his hands wandered to support you, whilst also pulling you closer than what was physically possible.
Your voice echoed dulcet moans throughout the room and his lips left sloppy, open mouthed kisses against your neck and jaw whilst he groaned and gasped at the feeling of you.
“Fuck- baby, you feel so amazing, i’m gonna cum. Can you do that too, baby? Can you cum with me?”
“Yes! Yes I’m so close Suguru pleasepleaseplease don't stop!”
In sync, the rope snapped within you as he unleashed himself inside your pussy. He filled you up completely, your name spilling uncontrollably from his pretty lips as your own hung open in a silent scream.
"What do ya say, pretty?” he asked, his voice and attitude just as testing as before because of how much he enjoyed teasing you. “Come on, use your manners.”
“Thank you Suguru.” you heaved, way too out of breath to fight back.
He pressed a chaste kiss against your cheek. “You’re welcome, baby. Don’t worry, this wasn’t the last time. You're mine now, you hear me?”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
a/n: i rushed the end lol
☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚sgojoenthusiast
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666writingcafe · 3 months
Text
An Unintentional Trap
Thirteen
I'm tired of listening to Solomon's whining. I want him out of my cave once and for all, and hopefully fetching MC and taking them to him will be enough for him to leave.
If that was the only reason for my trip, I would have just teleported to and from the castle. It's a lot quicker than walking. But I want some time alone with the human disguised as a demon.
During my little venture through MC's soul, I saw a rather alarming amount of demonic energy, more than any type of facade should have. Usually, humans with that much energy either end up evil or dead. Either way, their souls end up really dark. No sparkle at all.
And yet MC's soul remains blindingly white. Some of that could be explained by the angelic influence over it, but in my experience, the two cancel each other out, resulting in a dull, clear-looking soul.
I just want to know what makes the human tick. Perhaps that can explain why their soul is so...odd.
~~~
"I'm still a bit upset at Solomon," MC tells me. "Obviously, not enough to decline your invitation, but I'm probably not going to be rushing into his arms or anything like that."
"Understandable," I respond, making them sigh.
"Am I being unreasonable, Thirteen?"
"No, not at all. He did something incredibly stupid, and you're allowed to be frustrated by his lack of judgement." A slight test. Will they take the bait and trash-talk Solomon?
"I know. It's just..." They trail off.
"Just what?" Another sigh from MC.
"He was worried about me. I mean, I launched myself at a demon twice my size and sent the two of us sliding across the colosseum floor. The fact that I only walked away with a couple of scratches and bruises is a fucking miracle."
Huh. A human that's humble enough to acknowledge another person's emotions? And admit when they act too rashly for their own good?
"Why did you do it, then?"
"It was the only way I could knock Beel out. You saw the pictures, right?" I nod. He caused a lot of damage near the Demon Lord's castle. "He was starting to attack his brothers, Diavolo, and Barbatos when we got there. I had to stop him before he hurt any of them, because with the way he was going at them, their injuries would have been a lot worse than mine."
"So, you sacrificed your safety in order to protect theirs." MC softly smiles.
"That's not the first time that's happened. In fact, I've done it enough to get told off for it."
"I can imagine. Doing that sort of thing tends to shorten one's lifespan, making them die sooner than originally intended." I pause. "Those type of people tend to annoy me." MC's smile grows a bit wider, as if they know something I don't.
Wait.
Have I chewed them out for it in their timeline?
I can't think about that right now. We've arrived at my cave, and the energy feels off. Looking over at MC tells me that I'm not the only one feeling uneasy.
I pull out my dagger.
"Stay behind me," I whisper to MC, who quietly nods. We carefully make our way to the Fountain of Knowledge with no incidents.
Solomon is right where I left him, sitting on the edge of the fountain. And yet his presence does nothing to calm me down.
In fact, seeing him makes me that much more anxious.
Which is strange. I've felt a lot of things when it comes to the sorcerer, but never afraid.
"It's not him," MC murmurs. Solomon and I make eye contact, and I immediately get nauseous.
They're right. This isn't Solomon.
"Where is he?" I ask. The shapeshifter smiles eerily.
"Some place out of the way," it answers. "I wanted to talk to MC in private."
"Yeah, not happening, buddy. I don't trust you as far as I can throw you." An unknown entity that knows MC's actual name can't possibly be up to any good.
"Putting words in other people's mouths isn't polite."
"I never claimed to be polite." This guy is pissing me off.
"Aren't you tired of being told what to think?" He's directed the question at MC. "I don't wish to hurt you. I want you to be happy."
"I've already told you, I'm not interested," they tell the shapeshifter, causing him to chuckle.
"It's cute that you think you still have a choice. You're already on my path. The more you resist, the rougher your journey will be. I'm just offering to make things easy for you."
I may not know the context of his words, but I can tell that they're upsetting MC.
"Alright, that's enough," I interject. "Get out of my cave." The shapeshifter remains still. "Now."
He sighs.
"I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but it appears I don't have a choice." He waves a hand, and suddenly MC collapses onto the ground.
"What have you done?!" He shrugs.
"I thought reapers were supposed to remain neutral."
"Answer the fucking question!"
"I simply put them in a deep sleep. When they come to their senses, they'll wake up."
Solomon is going to kill me.
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch
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ok new prayer request: i really don't like my job. it's basically three jobs run out of the same shop, and I am only barely making miminum wage. it's frustrating and stresses me out so bad that I keep getting headaches, which NEVER happened this much before. the reason I'm here is because it is literally the ONLY place I applied that gave me the time of day, and because my boss and manager and coworkers are super nice.
I want a different job. something that maybe I'm not doing three(3) different jobs and only barely getting paid for one(1). maybe something that's just ONE SINGULAR JOB that I can be confident in instead of feeling like I'm constantly juggling things running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I also want to move. I want to get out of my parents' house and out of this tiny little two-horse town. I'd like to try and chip away at my ambitions and I just can't do that here, no matter how much my parents try to convince me I could have a small career here and stay in this town. I don't want to. I want to move.
the camp that my church has done retreats at is hiring for this summer. I'd make just about the same or possibly a little more working there than I do at my job currently for the same amount of time. and it's something I would LIKE to do. it's something that wouldn't make me so frustrated or anxious I believe and it also includes the opportunity to learn some higher-level production technology and possibly a connection to a major regional production company, which is the industry I want to work in.
I have two main hangups right now:
number one, the big one, is that for the last several months, for a while honestly, I've been struggling with some thought patterns and temptations that are sinful and wrong which I keep slipping back into those thoughts, letting my mind and imagination have the reins, and the habits that fuel this sin. I won't go into a ton of detail but some of my mutuals know a little. I'm working on it, but I have repeatedly messed up and turned back to these habits and that makes me feel like I shouldn't work at a Christian camp, since I'm struggling with (in my mind) a fairly major sin issue. however the camp's belief statement does mention the importance and value of repentance and growth, so there is that
the second issue is that I would feel SO bad for leaving my current job. I've only been here 6 months and everyone has been so kind to me and my manager is having a lot of family and personal issues and I would feel guilty for leaving so soon.
but I have this opportunity, which could be a REALLY good opportunity in many ways and would be something that I find PURPOSE in instead of just getting through the day. I'm praying on it, and I'm praying on my sin issues of the last half-year, but I would like to ask for additional prayer here on all these counts, too. I have confessed (mainly to people I trust here, since it's stuff I don't want to discuss with my mom lol) and repented but I have slipped and backsliding repeatedly, literally up until this week. I do think that wanting this camp job is a good motivator for growth in this, though. i could just use wisdom and prayer and peace about all this as I try to figure out what to do. thanks 😅💖
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justmeinadaze · 9 months
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We're a Family Part 22 (Steddie X You)
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A/N: Get ready to feel old <3. I wrote Good Neighbors a little over a year ago and I've loved how they've evolved. I'm not done with this little family yet. I still have one more chapter with Dylan and then some ideas with an older Ro but, ugh, lol I feel how the reader feels when it comes to her first born.
Warnings: Dads Steddie/ Mama Fem Reader, SMUT, edging (they are still trying new things), handcuffs, etc, FLUFF, they love each other <3 and their kiddos, ANGST, someone from the past comes back to talk to the adult Munson-Harringtons and Dylan, Steve and Eddie struggle being protective over their eldest (Eddie just hides it better), lots of talk about Dylan growing up and leaving the nest and how these three feel about it.
Word Count: 5256
An 18-year-old Dylan bounces anxiously on his toes as you sort through the mail too slow for his liking. 
“MOM! Come on! Did anything come for me or not?”
Two years had passed since you reconnected with your mother and things had been going very well. She was always extremely busy with work but when she came over Aurora insisted on showing her all the movies she missed out on. 
“Grandma! Watch how cool this is!”, the seven-year-old squeals with delight as they focus on the film in front of them. The light saber flies past Kylo-Ren into Rey’s hand and Ro breathes a sigh of excitement.
“Ok, now explain to me again how ‘the force’ works.”, yoru mom asks as she leans forward over her crossed legs on the couch. 
You grin from your spot in the kitchen as you bump Eddie’s hip with yours. 
“Definitely your daughter, nerd.”
“Takes one to know one, princess.”
James was now a toddler causing all kinds of chaos around the Munson-Harrington home. His sticky fingers got into everything even some of the cabinets that you had believed were too high for him to reach. 
“James Wayne Munson Harrington.”, you scold with your hands on your hips as you watch him lean back and laugh with a wide smile that only rivaled that of his dad. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Plopping his butt down on the counter, he dangles his legs over the side as he reaches his tiny hand into the snack box and produces a chocolate chip cookie. 
“Mama cookie…Yames.”, he coos as he points to himself while struggling to say his name correctly. 
“Mhmm. Didn’t you just eat lunch?”
“For…for mama an Rara.”
“Don’t you bribe me and your sister with sweets, you little butthead.”
“Why are you being mean to our son?”, Steve asks as he rounds the corner into the kitchen.
“Because our son parkoured up the counter for a snack.”
The three-year-old giggles as he offers his dad a cookie that he accepts before lifting him into his arms and putting the box back in the cabinet. 
“What did we say, bud?”
“Ask.”
“That’s right. You have to ask first. Now give mommy a kiss as an apology and get out of here, you butthead.”
Dylan was halfway through his senior year of high school and applied to a lot of colleges but was anxious to be accepted to a certain one because that’s where Daisy was going. The two of them had continued to date and see each other which you didn’t mind. What killed you however was that because of her family she was looking at a school that was a few states away. You had never been that far from your son and it scared you.
“I don’t know. I see bills and ads. Let me take my time to really read these though.” Dylan huffs making you smile as you give him a hug. He was so much taller than you now, your head resting against his chest as you wrapped your arms around him. “Everything’s going to be ok, weirdo. You’ll hear something soon. There’s still some time.” 
***
Steve ran his hands over his eyes exhaustedly while grading papers during his lunch. With winter break coming up, he wanted to get everything out of the way so he could take these next couple of weeks to spend some time with the kids especially Dylan. When he had mentioned going to school out of state, of course, he was proud and encouraged him to apply but he’d be lying if he didn’t say the idea of his son being so far away broke his heart.
“Stevie?”
The sound of Eddie’s voice calmed him as he smiled towards the door his husband was leaning against. 
“Hey you. What are you doing here?”
“You, uh, just started your lunch hour right?”
Steve knew that tone, something was going on that the metalhead was afraid would upset him. 
“Yeah? Everything ok?” As he turned his head towards the hall, your ex-husband stepped into view. “No. Nope. Not happening.”
“Give us a second.”, Eddie gestured towards Charlie before entering the classroom and closing the door. “Steven, calm down.”
“Calm down? Why the fuck is he here?! Whatever he wants the answer is no.”
“Baby, sit. Please? At least hear me out first.” Steve huffed as he folded his arms and pouted while Eddie sat on his desk in front of him. “I get it. Trust me I do but I felt like…for what he’s asking we should talk about it at most. He wanted to speak to us both first out of respect because we are Dylan’s dads.”
“Damn right.”
“He’s not asking to spend time with him again or anything like that. Charlie doesn’t think Dylan would even want that but… he’s asking to see him graduate.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Edward Munson?!”, Steve practically shouts as he rises to his feet.
“Shhhh.”, the metalhead tries to calm him doing the same.
“No! He hasn’t earned that fucking right. He hasn’t been here AT ALL in over 5 years. Why is that?! Oh, that’s right, he signed him over. Charlie had plenty of chances to be there for him and he failed! WE raised him and he thinks he can just waltz back in and be a part of something like that?!”
“Steve! Breathe.”, Eddie tries to sooth as he cups his face in his hands. “Breathe. I get where you are coming from. I said all of the same things to him when he came to the shop. But… I get it from Dylan’s side to. Remember when I finally graduated? I was so excited that Wayne was there but there was still a part of me… that wished my mom and dad could see me finally do it to. A lot of that was to spite them and show them I could do it.”, he chuckled making Steve smile. “But a lot of it was also the little kid in me wanting them there.”
The man in his arms heavily exhaled before tilting forward to kiss his lips and gesturing for Eddie to bring him in.
“I warned you before, Charlie, about hurting my son. If we talk to him and he wants you there and you don’t show up…I swear to God—”
“No, no. I understand. I’ll move heaven and earth to be there I swear.”
“Yeah to bad you couldn’t do that for him or Brody before.”
“Steve.”, Eddie warned.
“No, he’s right. I always said I’d never be like my stepdad yet… I’m, um, glad he’s had you two. I’m working with Vivian to be there for Brody. I’m trying…”
“You understand if he or Y/N says no, then the answer is no?”
“Yeah, I understand. Thank you for hearing me out though. I know I don’t deserve it.”
***
Your eyes constantly raked across them during dinner while they ate. Both men seemed completely distracted but especially Steve. 
“I’m done. I’m going to go play games upstairs.”, Dylan announces as he stands from the table. 
“Ah, kid, do you mind staying for a bit?”, Eddie asked throwing the two of you off guard. “Are you done to?”, he asks Ro as she beams up at him with her messy face. 
“Yes, daddy.”
“Good. Can you take this troublemaker and go watch tv please?”, he laughs as Steve blind sides her with a napkin to wipe her mouth and the other boy pulls James out of his chair, placing him on the floor. 
Aurora grabs her brother’s hand, giggling as they run to the tv in the living room. They wait until the sound of a show blares from that area before Eddie leans forward on his elbows and Steve leans back folding his arms. 
“I don’t know how to ease into this so I’m just going to say it. Charlie came to visit me and Steve today.”
Your eyes widen as your head ticks to the side while Dylan sighs mirroring Steve’s posture. 
“Whatever it is the answer is no.”
“Y/N…please. He said all he wanted was to see Dylan graduate from high school.”
“After everything he’s done?!”
“Yeah, I already went down that road, baby, but Eddie seems to think it’s worth the conversation.”, Steve exhaled heavily. 
“Do you?”, his son asked. “What did you say when he asked?”
“I told him that it was up to you and Y/N. If you two said you were fine with it—”
“But you don’t want him there?”
Steve glances towards Eddie who gives him a look of subtle warning.
“No, I don’t.”, he answers honestly causing the metalhead to huff in frustration. “I don’t feel like he’s earned that luxury after everything he’s done and put you through. But…I also feel like it’s your choice. If you want him there then he should be there. You know no matter what, kid, you’re still my son. It won’t hurt my feelings if you want him there.”
“Our feelings.”, Eddie added. “I get what Steve is saying but I’ve been on the other side. My dad was in prison when I graduated. I was ecstatic Wayne was there but…”
Dylan’s soft eyes shift towards you as he reaches for your hand. 
“Mom?”
“I just…I don’t want him to hurt you. I don’t you to get your hopes up and then he doesn’t show.”
“Oh, don’t worry. Stevie already threatened him if he didn’t show.”, Eddie grinned making your son laugh. 
“I’d, um, I’d like to talk with him before I make a decision if that’s alright.”
***
“Baby?”, Eddie cooed as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist while you leaned in the doorway of James’s room. Steve had fallen asleep in the toddler’s little racecar bed, his frame much too big for the mattress underneath as his legs hung off the side. His arm was holding the small boy to his side as he rested his sleeping head on his father’s chest. 
“Eddie, why do you think everything with Charlie affects him so much more?”
“Hm, sweetheart, it affects us both about the same but Steve here just sucks at hiding it. I love Dylan with my heart and would do anything for him. I’d be lying if I said the idea of him going to graduation doesn’t make me angry but if that’s what our son wants then I want him to be happy.” You nod at his statement, giving the man pause. “How does it make you feel? Be honest.”
“I don’t want him to go. I don’t…trust that he’ll actually show up. I feel like Steve right now where I just want to tell Dylan that we’re his parents and the answer is no so we can protect him.”
“The problem with that, my love, is you don’t know for 100% if that will be the outcome. I mean look at what happened with your mom.”
“Eddie, he’s my baby.”
“I know, babe. I know.”, he soothes as he turns you around and wraps you in his arms. 
***
“When he gets here, do you want us to leave you two alone?”, the metalhead asked as the three of them waited at a table in the nearby Hawkins Diner.
“Not like alone, alone though. We’d be a couple of tables away.”, Steve assured confidently, trying to push down all of the emotions he was feeling. 
“Can you stay, please? I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m a little terrified.”
“Terrified how, bud? You don’t have to do this if you’re uncom—”
“Steve! Calm down, sweetheart.”, Eddie chuckles as he rubs his back comfortingly. 
Dylan reached for his father’s hand and flashed him a big smile. 
“Everything’s going to be ok, dad. No matter what you both are always going to be my real fathers.”
As they beamed over at him, a figure caught Eddie’s eye as it quickly turned to leave. 
“Hey, I’m, uh, I’m going to go smoke before he gets here. I’ll be right back.”
Throwing on his jacket, the long-haired boy hastily power walked towards the front door, opening it just in time to see Charlie heading back to his truck. 
“HEY! No. No, no, no, no.”, he shouted as he ran to block his path. “No. You are NOT doing this to him. You’re here now just get the fuck in there and talk to him.”
“I-I-I can’t. I saw him and… he looks so different now. That’s not my little boy anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t—”
Eddie abruptly shoved the man against his vehicle, cutting him off. 
“You’re right. He’s not a little boy anymore. Unfortunately, you missed that because you were too fucking selfish. Now you have a chance to be a part of his adult life if that’s what he wants but, Charlie, if you walk away now that is never going to happen. Don’t be a fucking coward. He’s a good kid.”
“Because of you two. He fucking hates me.”
“Believe it or not, he doesn’t. Dylan thinks YOU hate HIM.”
“What? No. I love him and Brody so much.”
“Then where the fuck have you been?!”, he sighs releasing him from his hold. “He’s graduating with honors and a baseball scholarship to any school he chooses. He wants to go to a school up north with his girlfriend to major in music and education so he can become a music teacher. Dylan has worked so hard to get here. Don’t ruin it with your bullshit.”
Eddie shakes his head as he saunters back inside and plops down next to Steve. 
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”, he grins but his husband can see right through it. 
Placing his arm around the back of his chair, he leans close to his ear. 
“You’ll tell me later?”
A throat clears startling everyone as they turn to see Charlie standing beside the table. 
“Hi. Hey.”, his voice trembles as he shakes Eddie and Steve’s hands before turning to give Dylan his attention. “Hey, um, wow. Jesus. You look so much like your mom.”
“Oh. Uh, thank you. She thinks I look like you. To be fair she thinks none of her kids look like her.”
“Yeah? How many siblings do you have now?”
“Not including Brody, two. A sister and another brother.”
Your ex nods taking a seat as Dylan folds his arms over his chest. The guys were trying their best to stay as out of the way as they could while still being present for their son.
“So, uh--”
“Why do you want to come to my graduation?”, the boy asked bluntly. “My entire life you never went to anything that I was involved in and then signed me away. Why do you care?”
“I didn’t…sign you away… I just…I was never good at being a dad.”
“Why didn’t you try? Was it because of me?”
“No. God, no. Dylan, to me you were…are… absolutely perfect. I love you with all my heart. That’s why I signed those papers. After talking with your mom, I realized these two would be a better father for you than I ever could.”
Your son nods, sighing under his breath as he collects his thoughts. 
“Mom will be there and Vivian to. Is that going to be a problem?”
“Oh, uh, no. I didn’t realize they were talking to each other.”
“They aren’t. Dylan wanted to get to know Brody and Vivian missed him so Y/N lets him go to her house on the weekends.”, Steve explained. 
“Wow. It seems a lot has changed.”
“It’s been 5 years, Charlie. What did you expect?”
Your ex flinched at the sound of Dylan using his name but unlike the incident with Steve, it didn’t bother your son. He had long since moved past feeling like Charlie was his dad and could honestly never see himself calling him that again. 
“I don’t want you to go to my graduation but, maybe, we could get together and get to know each other again. Work our way up to having a relationship… I mean if mom and my dads are okay with it.”
“Yeah, Dil. I’d like that.”
Hearing Charlie call him that again stuck a raw nerve he kept tucked away for the last five years causing him to abruptly rise from his seat. 
“Ok, I’m ready to go now.”, he announces without waiting for an answer and flying out the front door. 
“Thank you guys for this. Tell Y/N I said thank you to.”
“Oh, she didn’t approve of this either. I’m the only one that seems to be slightly on your side but that’s because I know what it’s like to have your father abandon you.”, Eddie exhales as he and Steve get up as well.
“I didn’t…I didn’t abandon him.”
“Yeah, sure. Neither did my dad. He just boosted cars and ended up in jail for the rest of his life. It’s not his fault.”, he responded sarcastically. “Step one on rebuilding your relationship with him Charlie… Own your mistakes.”
################
“No Grandpa! You have to wear the crown because you’re a princess.”, Aurora giggled as she places the colorfully crown she created out of paper onto Wayne’s head. 
“I’m a princess? Not a King?”
“No.”, she laughs harder, cover her mouth with her little hand. 
Beaming over at them from your place on the floor, you and James continue to color in his little coloring book Eddie’s uncle had brought over. 
“Granpa, purty.”
“Thank you, James. I do feel beautiful.”
The alarm beeps as the front door opens and you do everything in your power not to get up to run to them anxiously. 
“Oh wow, Wayne. I must say, you make a gorgeous queen.”, Eddie teases.
“For your information, son, I’m a princess.”
The metalhead chuckles as they come to sit by you in the living room and your son immediately crawls to Steve to show him his pictures. 
“Dada, look.”
The sound of Dylan’s feet subtly bang up the stairs as he heads for his room and closes the door. 
“He’s ok, baby. Just needs some time alone.”, your husband assures. 
“What happened? Did he show up?” They gave you a recount of everything that happened including Eddie telling you both about him almost leaving. “I can’t say I’m not happy he won’t be going but who knows. Maybe in these six months Dylan may change his mind.”
The next couple of days went by with little to no fan fair as Christmas break finally came. That Friday after coming home from work, you checked the mail like you normally do except a college insignia catches your eye. Running full speed into the house, you drop everything as you scream your son’s name.
“Jesus Christ, woman. What is happening?!”, Eddie exclaims as he slides in from the kitchen.
As Dylan sprints down the stairs with Steve in tow, you present him with the envelope he had been waiting weeks for. Hastily, he yanks it from your grasp and tears it open as you dance on the balls of your feet. 
“Oh my god.”
“What? Is it good news? Bad news?”
With wide tear-filled eyes, a small grin spreads along his face. 
“I got in.”
All the adults in the room shout in excitement as you tackle hug your arms around him. 
“Baby, oh my god. I’m so proud of you!”
“Good job, Dylan.”, Eddie beams. “You’ll be the first Munson to go to college.”
“I’m proud of you to, little man.”, Steve smiles softly as he gives the boy a hug. 
“I’m going to go call Daisy. I love you guys!”, he declares as he speeds back up to his room. 
The metalhead holds up his index finger in your direction as both men tilt their head and wait for his door to close before the other boy nods. As soon as you get the go ahead, you fall into their arms and begin to cry. 
“I know, baby. He grew up too fast. We’re going to miss him to.”
***
“Ok, I finally got Aurora and James to sleep. Eddie is in the kitchen eating Santa’s cook—“, Steve froze when he finally entered the bedroom and noticed the image before him. 
You were sitting on the edge of the bed in a velvet red lingerie dress that cut off just so on your thigh barely hiding your panty less crotch with the white fluff that wrapped around the bottom. Your hair was curled and flowed down your shoulders as the Santa hat you wore sat perfectly on your head. 
“I thought you two could open this present early.”, you grin in a seductive voice as you cross your legs and lean back on your hands. 
“Eddie…”, Steve tried to call with a needy crack in his tone. “E-Ed-Eddie… EDWARD!”
“What!?”, the metalhead whisper shouts making you giggle. “Dude, lower your voice. You’re gonna wake—” While he was talking, the man pulled his collar to hurry him up and your grin grew as the other boy’s mouth fell open as well. 
“Get in here, you dorks.”, you tease as you get up, pull them both into the bedroom, and shut the door. “I was thinking we could try something Eddie has mentioned a few times.”
“Oh my god, I’m so in love with you.”, Steve sighs happily as he lifts you into his arms and spins you around before placing a kiss on your lips. “Do we get to handcuff him? Please tell me we do!”
“If you both want.”
Eddie giddily climbs into the bed, kissing your lips before a thought crosses his mind. 
“Wait, we haven’t handcuffed Steve to the bed yet and I feel like this whole edging thing would be way more fun to do to him… Mr. I’m-the-big-protector-guy.”
The pretty boy rolls his eyes as he falls on to his back, lifting off his shirt, and throwing it in his husband’s face playfully. 
Pushing some of your hair behind your ear, you restrain him to the headboard as the metalhead pulls off the boy’s sweats and boxers. 
“Should we have like a safe word or something? You both get sensitive quickly and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”, you ask in a soft, loving voice that makes him smile. 
“I’ve heard ‘Red’ is a good word.”, Eddie offers, grinning when you both nod in affirmation. 
“Say ‘Red’ if I’m uncomfortable. Got it.”, Steve repeats, smirking when you put your Santa hat on his head. “You know, you’re pretty sensitive to, fyi.” 
“I guess next time, we’ll have to test that theory.”, you tease as you run your palm through the hair on his chest and over to his side. “Ok, my love, do you want to start since you’re the sexual deviant that’s been looking up this stuff?”
The long-haired boy smiles mischievously as he leans over the other boy’s stomach to kiss your lips. 
“You…like…it.”, Eddie coos between each peck. 
As you continue to rub his chest, Steve’s breathing stutters as the man he loves take his cock in his warm hands and begins slowly stroking him. 
“How does that feel, baby?”
“G-good. Really good. I like when y-you both touch me.”
Your palm slides up his neck to his cheek and he tenderly kisses your thumb as it grazes his lips. Shifting your body, you curl up on his side as you listen to the sound of Eddie spit over his tip and smear it along his length making Steve’s mouth open in a silent O.
“Fuck, Eddie, baby.”
Trailing kisses along his side, your hands and nails continue to roam his upper torso as his back arches at the sensations. As your husband’s ringed hand pumps him faster, Steve bites his bottom lip to suppress the loud moan that wants to escape. 
“You look so handsome like this.”, you whisper as you tenderly move some of his hair away from his face. “Keep talking to us, Stevie. Please.”
“C-Can’t.”
“Why?”
“Too…too good.”
Beaming towards the other man, he winks at you as he drops another glob of spit over Steve’s tip as the boy ruts up into his hand. You both know his tells for when he’s about to let go; you’ve all studied each other very well over these past almost 12 years. Just as Steve was nearing his release…Eddie let him go and leaned back on his knees. 
“N-No. No, no, no!”
“How are we feeling now, Harrington?”
The man huffed as he tugged on his restraints before groaning with need as Eddie wrapped his lips around his cock taking him all the way down to the back of his throat. After kissing his lips, you trailed your own down his chest to his stomach and stopping just above the base of shaft. 
The metalhead came off him with a syrupy smack, stroking the man with his hand as he leaned towards you to passionately kiss your lips. The two of you played with Steve for a good long while, taking turns bringing him to the edge just before pulling back. His cock was dripping with both your saliva, angry and red from all the teasing. 
As you glanced his way, his eyes were squeezed shut as he muttered things under his breath. 
“Steve, honey? Are you ok?”
His eyes opened abruptly, meeting yours with a fire you hadn’t seen from him in a very long time.
“Eddie, let him go.”, you breathily moaned as his intense gaze never left yours. 
The moment the cuffs came off, Steve’s sweaty frame practically tackled your own as he lifted you into his arms and spun you around making you giggle at his earnestness as your head hit the pillows. His lips devoured yours as if it had been ages since he tasted your kisses. Hissing at your touch, you reached between you both and guided him into your entrance. Before he could make any kind of movement, Eddie took hold of his hips and slide into the man above you. 
Steve was anything but gentle as he slammed his lower half into you both desperately chasing his release. 
“Oh…oh my God, baby. Just like that.”, you whimpered as his head feel beside you, latching his lips to your neck. 
Glancing up to your other husband, his hair blocked his face as he grunted and clung to Steve’s waist as he met each thrust with a hard, rough one of his own. 
The bed underneath you began to shake and the metalhead quickly reached up to hold it still with his palm.
“Fuck, Steve. You feel so fucking good. I love you, baby. M-Make me cum.”
Clinging to his hair and back, he pounded into you till the coil snapped and your pussy clenched tightly around him. The sound he made in your ear drove you crazy as his body trembled on top of yours and you felt his seed release inside of you. As he aggressively thrust it deep into your cunt, Eddie fell against his back, and held his chest as he came inside of the man below him.  
“Jesus fucking Christ, that was amazing.”, the metalhead panted. “Steve, sweetheart, are you ok?”
“I think he fell asleep.”, you giggled as you petted the boy’s head. “Stevie, baby?”
“Hm?”, he grumbled as he snuggled closer to you.
“Are you alright?”
“Hmm…mmhmm…”, he nodded. 
“As much as I would love for you to fall asleep inside of me, it’s Christmas eve. You know at 7am those kids are going to burst through our door.”
Groaning, he nods as he rolls off you with Eddie immediately ready with a pair of boxers and rag to wipe him off. After making sure Steve was set, your husband grinned as he lifted you into his arms, disrobed you, and placed you in the shower as he delicately cleaned you. 
“I love you to, baby.”, you smile up at him as he kisses your forehead. 
“I love you even more. You looked really gorgeous in that outfit and I’m sure Steven will agree when he’s more coherent.”, he chuckles. 
Wrapping your arms tightly around his waist, he does the same as he rests his chin on your head. 
“You know these next few months I’m going to need you two to help me hold it together.”
“I know, sweetheart. I can’t even picture Dylan not being in this house anymore. God, and we’re both going to have to be on Steve duty because you know he’s going to be a mess to.”
################
While Eddie and Steve sip their coffee, you pat James’s back as he curled up around you after opening all his presents and went back to sleep. 
While Aurora was distracted with her morning cartoons, Dylan had gone upstairs to change and came back down just as your doorbell rang. Passing the baby to one of his fathers, you threw on your jacket and opened the front door to a fiddling Charlie. 
“Oh, um, hey Y/N. Merry…Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah, so you’re taking him to Vivian’s?”
“Um, yes, ma’am. She’s letting me spend the day with Brody so I asked Dylan if he wanted to join and he said yes.”
Turning to your son, you fixed his ski cap before kissing his cheek. 
“No detours to Daisy’s ok? I want you home straight after for dinner.”
Smiling at you, he jogs towards your ex’s truck and quickly climbs into the heat. 
“Thank you for this. I really appreciate it…after everything.”
“Don’t thank me, Charles. Thank those men in there. I still think this is a bad idea because of everything but we all just want our son to be happy. But I swear to God…I’m not the same woman I was 18 years ago. If you hurt him—”
“I know…your, uh, boyfriends threatened me already.”
“Husbands. Oh, they’ll be the first wave but I’ll be the finishing move. I’m not weak anymore.”
“You never were.” His response startles you as you hug your arms tighter around your body and he softly smiles. “I’ll have him back in a few hours.”
As you reentered the house, their eyes watched you as you sit beside them on the couch still hugging yourself. Ringed fingers threaded through your hair before turning you to face them. 
“Everything ok?”
“Yeah. It’s just weird seeing Charlie be this way.”
“I can understand that. It’s like if my dad came through that door with a smile and a Santa level of presents.”, Steve sighed. 
“Are you both ok? I told him to be home for dinner that way after we eat maybe you three can play that new game we got him.”
“It’s whatever he wants, baby. I try to remember what it was like when I was his age and I never wanted to be home.”, the pretty boy laughs. “So, the fact that he likes hanging out with us at all makes me happy.”
Eddie nods in agreement as James wiggles in his embrace. 
“Daddy. Yames…hungee…”, the boy babbles as he taps his mouth with his palm. 
“I guess it is that time to start fattening him up so we can have him plump enough to eat for dinner later.”
“No, daddy! Don’t be mean to James.”, Aurora scolds as her brother giggles. 
“Come on, you. Let’s see if Santa left us anymore cookies in our pantry.”
#########
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hollow-lime-green · 2 months
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hi!! just wondering if you have any stsg fic recs you’d be willing to share? i’m currently gobbling up 2sorcs like a gremlin and looking for something else to read between updates but i only really trust your opinions and characterizations which 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 anyways love ur work and hope you’re doing well!!
Ah! First of all, thank you <3 I do have some fics I really like! I shall rec them and give a little anxiety disclaimer at the end.
Fic Recs - Shorties
it would make a whole - by @diggingupgrave 8.8k, T, First Year, Pre-Relationship, Emotional H/C oh i love this fic so very much. this may have been one of the fics that really got me thinking about their characterization in the first place, tbh.
As You Wish - by @haha-funny-valentine 2.5k, T, Post-Star Plasma Arc, Emotional H/C wonderful characterization here and I am just such a sucker for H/C.
The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom - by @zombieheroine 16.3k, T, Prison Realm Gojo Character Study I took my skin off to check and I am shocked that this fic is not like, Doing Numbers. this fic is SO fucking creative and unique and I just. love. it. Definitely a big inspiration for FIYM. It's like Harrow the Ninth but for Gojo in the Prison Realm and like, oh my god so well done imo.
Longfic Recs with Caveats
and if you take my hand (series) - by @detta-pica 40k (Ongoing), T, Witch AU, Slow Burn Caveat: this is a WIP, and we're in the early part so very much Unresolved Romantic Tension. But I really like the worldbuilding in this and I'm excited to follow it as it keeps going, so big rec here if you like Plot and are down to follow some more ongoing fics. :)
coanda effect - by @bunniehoneys 250k, M, F1 AU, Slow Burn, Eating Disorders, Drugs, Bad Choices I am probably the last person in the world to read this fic so it feels silly to rec, but I'm doing it anyway because I'm a little obsessed. Caveat 1: also technically a WIP for another week or two
Caveat 2: TAGS check the tags. If you are at all sensitive to discussion of EDs, skip this fic, but I think it's done well and adds a lot to the characterization
Caveat 3: I am not caught up on this fic. it's one that I didn't let myself read for a while (see below) but F1 has a special place in my heart (my dad is into it, I used to live in a Gran Prix city, and I have watched WAY too much F1 Lets Play content).
I've been working really shitty hours for the past 48 hours (almost done) due to research that requires specific spans of real earth time. Because I don't have the focus to write right now, I've had the chance to read a little, and I've read about 75% of this gargantuan fic in windowless rooms on my phone, which has to say something about how much I love it lmao.
Disclaimer: I am a bad source of stsg fics because I actually don't read very many. If I read amazing fic then it tends to trigger the "you will never be as good as the old masters" part of the brain, although instead of real art like in the meme, my fic is putting gojo in a minecraft hoodie and making him do the gangnam style dance. Still.
I also get very unhealthy about metrics/numbers, which I mostly manage by using AO3 skins to block stats, but I still have some moments of weakness. So I try to avoid looking at stuff that I know might make me anxious/insecure about my own works and be unable to finish them (this has unfortunately happened to me before in the FE3H fandom, and that continues to weigh on me).
All that to say, there are some really big, nice, and well-loved fics by wonderful authors currently being updated, and I have read almost none of them. So this is absolutely not me saying I don't like their characterizations, I'm just kind of a hermit.
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