#which is occasionally cool art sometimes

[qeggyinjail]

happy new years and happy holidays from jyyyuuugooo

[hannieehaee]

Svt & learning to cook food from s/o’s homecountry (aka not korean food). A different culture & food for each member would rlly cool

making you a meal from your country

content: established relationship, fluff, foreign reader (non-korean), etc.

wc: 872

a/n: this was such a cute concept omg!! i picked the food items and the home countries at random btw sorry if i got some dishes wrong pls lmk if there's any corrections i should make 😭

masterlist

seungcheol -

he wouldn't be able to stand your homesickness for even one second, feeling too sad at your sadness and deciding to do everything in his power to make you feel better. he'd ask around for traditional south african dishes leading him to make you some chakalaka while you were at work. the hours of trial and error wouldve been worth it the moment he saw the happiness in your eyes at his efforts.

jeonghan -

being quite used to simply ordering takeout whenever he so pleased, jeonghan was not used to cooking at home too often. however, if his sweet s/o wanted some homemade tom yum soup, then he'd deliver! after a quick call to mingyu (and an hour or two of messing around in the kitchen), he'd be ready with your food. he loves thai food, so this would be a win-win situation for him.

joshua -

he knew you sometimes missed australia and were unable to go back and forth as you pleased, so josh would occasionally indulge you in making meat pie for you, following a recipe you'd once made for him early in your relationship.

jun -

he'd had indian food before and loved it, so it did not take any convincing for him to decide to make you some indian street food. he'd do it out of his own volition pretty often, actually. by now, he had mastered the art of various dishes, specially panipuri, which he would frequently make for you, and sometimes he'd even share some with his members.

soonyoung -

if he sensed you growing homesick and missing your usual chinese cuisine, he'd go out of his way to seek out jun or minghao to ask what food may make you feel a bit better. he'd then take on the task of making you the most delicious street breakfast, jianbing, knowing it wasnt too difficult a task for him and that it was a meal you'd often have in your youth.

wonwoo -

wonwoo was quite known for his lack of ability in the kitchen, but that would not stop him from making you some laksa whenever you were feeling particularly homesick. despite not knowing how to make any other singaporean dishes, he'd have specifically mastered at least one in order to take care of you in such a domestic way whenever the opportunity arose.

jihoon -

never having been one to cook much (he'd much rather stick to washing dishes), he'd struggle a lot through making you some pastéis de nata for your anniversary, deciding to make a korean-portuguese fusion of meals to celebrate your relationship. ok, maybe he called mingyu over to help, but the joy in your eyes as you shared the meal with him had made it worth all of mingyu's nagging as he followed his instructions to the letter.

seokmin -

he's never been to spain, but he's had a few spanish meals throughout his life, so he'd quickly understand why you'd often complain about the lack of authentic spanish food near your shared apartment. would take it upon himself to learn how to make paella in the most perfect manner imaginable just to see a smile on your face.

mingyu -

making a pizza from scratch was easier said than done, but mingyu had taken on the task the moment you let him know of the fomo you felt at seeing him and his best friends explore your country of origin, italy. you'd watched nana tour happily, but still felt a bit off at knowing you couldn't be there with your boyfriend. but fear not! mingyu was about to bring the authentic italian experience to your door!

minghao -

he's been to the united states so many times by now that he just knows american food by heart. wouldnt even need a recipe to know how to make you some classic barbecue on a sunny afternoon. would even make an entire day out of it, grilling under the sun while you sunbathed next to him.

seungkwan -

seungkwan has always thought himself to be quite a good cook. or at least he was quite good at making korean food. japanese food was another story. he knew how badly you missed homemade sushi, never enjoying any from your nearby restaurants. he'd have to ask for your help at some point, but the end result would be the two of you sharing a nice moment making a meal together, so it all went according to plan.

vernon -

he doesnt know how to cook neither korean nor american food, but you best bet he'll try his hardest to make you traditional vietnamese food in the form of bun cha and bánh xèo. it looked easy and like it tasted good, how hard could it be? would try his bestest but eventually need to ask you for help completing the task. a+ for effort, though.

chan -

he already loves mexican food, so making it for you wouldnt even be something you'd have to request from him – he'd just do it on his own! he'd already mastered all types of street food, eventually opting to make you menudo, knowing how much you enjoyed that meal as a child.

[yumeka-sxf]

I try to stay away from negative topics, but after hearing talk on social media yesterday and seeing this post from @such-a-downer, I just had to give my two cents about the complaints regarding yesterday's chapter being "another short mission" and that Endo is somehow being "lazy" or whatever.

I honestly don't understand this mentality of criticizing manga-ka, or any artists really, because they aren't delivering by whatever standards you personally think are appropriate. To me, it just seems like entitlement because Endo has no obligation to cater to any specific fan's wants. This is his story to tell the way he wants, and his characters to develop at the pace he deems fit. This isn't a business contract where we're paying him to deliver content we want every two weeks without fail. If I'm consuming the fruits of someone's creative labor for free, I certainly feel no right to complain if sometimes their content isn't what I wanted or expected. I'm fine with that because 1) I know it's what they (the creator) wanted/needed at the time, and 2) even if a particular chapter wasn't my cup of tea, I know other fellow fans out there somewhere are enjoying the heck out of it, and that's cool!

We also have to remember that SxF is basically a one-man show. If Endo is busy or sick or whatever, it's not like he can have someone fill in for him to write and draw the series. That's what a hiatus is for, that's what making a short chapter instead of a longer one is for...that's how artists should be treated so they don't get burned out and stressed. Plus, art shouldn't be rushed. Any artist knows that there are times when you have trouble coming up with ideas and maybe need a little extra time to develop a more complex section of the story. To immediately jump to conclusions that he's lazy or doesn't know what he's doing is ridiculous. Maybe he didn't feel good for a few days, maybe he's been busy with other SxF events, maybe he just needed more time to get a particular future arc developed, or maybe he just has basic IRL obligations to take care of like we all do...you don't know what's going on in his life, so don't make assumptions.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it's literally impossible to please every fan. One of the comments I read for example, someone was ready to drop the series because we haven't seen much of Yor in "a while." All I could think of was "didn't she just have a pretty big role only four chapters ago when they went to the ski resort?" Plus she was the star of chapter 91, which was less than ten chapters ago. So according to this person's standards, four chapters without seeing a particular character is "too long"? What if it was only three chapters, would that be acceptable? It's not right to push our own personal standards of a series' pacing as the "correct" way: some people want to see more of character X while someone else wants to see more of subplot Y, so should both complain that the manga-ka isn't doing right whenever they focus on something else? I'm not saying you shouldn't make criticisms of a manga-ka's work, but the criticisms should come from within the narrative itself, not superficial things like chapters focusing on subplots/characters you don't want to see or not having enough "plot-advancing" content when it's not a plot-focused series.

People who have read SxF up to this point should know the general flow of the chapters: mostly slice-of-life episodic, with more plot-heavy, intense arcs once in a while, like the cruise arc and bus arc. It's an ensemble series that spends most of its chapters focused on at least one of the Forgers, but occasionally other characters here and there. That's how the series has been for years and will likely continue to be. So if you keep complaining because you only like the dramatic story arcs and not the "nothing happens" episodic chapters, then maybe the series just isn't for you. It's totally fine if that's the case, but don't act like Endo is doing something wrong because he's not providing the particular thing you want in his story.

To summarize, Endo has no obligation to cater to particular fans' standards, just as we have no obligation to keep reading his work if we don't like it. But being a fan to me means respecting the creator's pace and vision even if it's not always what I personally want. I can find something to enjoy in every chapter because I'm a fan of SxF, not a fan of one particular aspect of it. But I also will not complain every time my tastes aren't being catered to and will simply occupy myself with other things while I wait. What's the big hurry, after all? I'm in no rush for SxF to wrap up its plot and I'm glad Endo isn't rushing either.

And that's all I'm gonna say about this topic, lol. On a happier note, I'm going to finally see Code White on Thursday! 😁 More to come later~

[bee-nutauthor]

Dimitrescu Sisters If they were Content Creators Headcanon (for fun)

Bela Dimitrescu

-The most wholesome, mom-esque content ever

-Will give you good life advice, whether it be shopping tips on how to get more groceries for less, or tips on how to manage your finances

-Makes cooking videos, sewing videos, make up videos, candle making videos, nail painting vidoes- basically anything to do with crafts and she's probably done it

-Speaks in a calm tone, has mellow music in the background

-Uses very calm colors in her videos, meaning her shirts are in cool tones of blues, grays, whites, and blacks.

-Her backdrop is a clean and organized space- a light wood bookshelf, plain walls, some minimalist flower vases, and a diffuser

-Is very organized with her schedule. Her videos are always up at the same time and day, and she follows a rotating schedule of what topics she will make videos for

-Controversies? None, unless you count the time she roasted a company who wanted her to do a paid promo for actually being toxic and causing them to shut down

-She is affectionately called 'Internet Mom'

-She does not understand the 'sorry, mommy' jokes and does not wish to

-Does not collab with other content creators, which lead to a conspiracy theory whether she actually existed in real life or was a robot

-Is sponsored mostly by clothing brands

Cassandra Dimitrescu

-She is a storytime channel, telling the most outlandish stories ever

-And they're all true. Her life is just like that

-She travels a lot for work so often she'll film travel vlogs or behind the scene vlogs

-Collabs all the time with other content creators

-Always has famous people on her channel

-Does Q and A's

-Her video uploading schedule is not super consistent due to her traveling a lot, and sometimes she'll post several videos in a row and then there will be nothing for a long time

-She has cycled through 5 public relationships within the first three months of her channel

-Has released music videos on her channel and is planning on releasing a full album. She always puts a lot of effort into her sets and costume design. Her singing is amazing as she's classically trained and can do opera too

-Has starred in other content creator's mini series on youtube and always draws the most views in

-Outfits are always changing depending on if she's traveling or making music videos

-Has made a few comedy skits here and there

-Controversies? There is a lot of drama circling around her and who she's hooking up with or who she'll go for next. A few people tried to call out her melodramatic behavior and instead of making an apology video Cassandra winked at the camera, sent the viewers a kiss and said "you know you love me like this," and ended the video like that.

-She was right. Her views only skyrocketed after this

-Gets many sponsorships, but donates the money from them to art or dance studios

Daniela Dimitrescu

-A streamer, she streams several hours a day in a row

-She does games mostly, with the occasional video filming her attempt to cook some horrific dish she found on the internet such as the toducken

-Has posted a few videos of herself doing tricks on her skateboard

-Has posted a few videos of her work out routines. Those have millions of views for reasons relating to her crop top and abs

-Has a set up with RGB lights in the back, and a mini fridge full of energy drinks

-Has the latest technology to play games on, but wears the same outfit almost always to her streams: a black tank top, a black hoodie with neon green writing on it, and a pair of headphones with cat ears on top

-Has dyed her hair many times but commonly sticks with her red hair, shaved on one side

-Has tattoos of her favorite video game characters on her arms and legs

-Will stream with other players and has done a handful of collabs but prefers playing single player games

-Rarely sleeps and has done several 24 hour streams for charity

-Controversies? She was accused of cheating when doing a speedrun but it was only the haters claiming she couldn't play

-Sponsored by raid shadow legends and other game companies

[ayacokeandpepsi]

hi i really like ur niki smuts and i have a suggestion

can you do one where like you and niki are mcs on Musicbank and one day you guys where like fucking or just a quickie before the show started..

uhmm that feels weird to write but if you do consider it and write it plz tag me

Cw: smut

This is kinda long lol

You met Riki while mcing for Musicbank, you had both heard of each other before, having both been popular.

You were a YouTuber and artist who had millions of subscribers, sometimes making vlog videos and fashion videos, which led to companies taking interest in you and sending you their products for you to model, and recently Calvin Klein asked you to be in one of their advertisements, which you happily accepted.

Riki was charming and charismatic. He was tall and slim, well dressed and groomed and looked so fresh always. He could be a Vivienne Westwood ambassador, you thought, if he wasn’t already with Prada.

You were invited to host Musicbank unexpectedly but positively. You had mentioned in one of your videos of how you liked one of Enhypen’s albums; Dark Blood. You also did occasional fan arts for some of the members on your art channel which were very successful.

Riki has seen some of your fashion vlogs, having noticed you from your Calvin Klein commercial, it was cool toned and sexy; you were in unbuttoned jeans with the logo of your white underwear sticking out, wearing a white bralette, your hair wet, they wanted it to look beachy, they told you. When he found out you knew enhypen, god he was like a middle school boy with a crush. Were you an engene? Did you like him? Was he your bias? He wanted to ask you so many things

Your outfit was classy and stylish for the night. Your hair was straightened and glossy, minimal brow makeup and clear mascara as well as soft blush and sheer lipstick, you looked like you were in an Inisfree ad. Your body was dressed in an off the shoulder black fitted dress, that came down to your mid calf, that complimented the natural curve of your body. Your feet were covered in modest Gucci black socks that came up just above your ankle, with some same brand patent black loafers with a small heel and a slightly pointed toe. Your jewelry consisted of small earrings with bright stones to match your eyes, and a few rings and bangles that dangles and made a jingle when you held the microphone. You smelled of Prada’s blossom perfume.

Riki was also well dressed. He was in a simple black suit that complimented his sharp features but also was soft and juvenile, not making him look older. His eyes had grey contacts in and feathered black eyeliner around his eyes, his hair lightly brushing his face sometimes. If you didn’t know any better, you would say you looked like you were both in an ad for the same brand, as the stock cool and young couple that drives off in an expensive car.

You smiled when you caught him looking at you, giving you a small and nervous smile back. His voice was like molasses, so charismatic and deep, so alluring when he spoke to you, or at least what was on the script for your conversation. You caught yourself gazing at him unintentionally, getting embarrassed.

You were exhausted from the bright flashing lights and noise of the crowd after it was done, having to squint because of the harsh light. You felt a hand on your shoulder when you were perched on one of the steps. It was Riki, smiling.

‘How do you get used to all of the chaos?’ You ask him, rubbing your temple with your thumb as you give him a small smile

‘Well for me, I love all of it, so it doesn’t tire me as much,’ he says

‘You look really handsome by the way,’ you tease, giggling

‘Handsome? You think so?’ He chuckles,licking his lips

‘I do,’ you coo. ‘If you weren’t an idol all busy, I would totally ask you out,’ you laugh

‘Is that so? Well, what makes you think I would say no?’ He sits down on the steps next to you, running his fingers through his dark hair

You straighten your back before tucking your hair behind your ear and looking up at him, you knew your eyes were beautiful, and how hard it was to resist you like this. He clenched his jaw, his eyes softening as he looked into your eyes

He closed the distance between you, connecting his lips with yours, softly holding your face.

You pulled away, making him whine internally. ‘I’m tired, do you wanna come to my hotel?’ You tease, kissing him again and holding his collar

As soon as you opened the door, you quickly shut it and pulled him by his tie to your lips, running your hands through his hair as he held your waist closer to his, softly groaning

He was dominant but clearly new to physical touch, though he was confident and a quick learner. He pressed his body against you, letting your wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as he carried you to the bed. You quickly undid his belt and unbuttoned his shirt, letting him unzip your tight dress and letting it fall to the floor.

He let you ride him, his back pressed against the headboard as you kissed him and straddled his cock. He kissed your neck as he gripped your hips, helping you up and down himself.

You let him stay the night, holding you as you fell asleep, both naked and warm.

[lovekendri]

painter | peeta mellark

peeta mellark x fem!reader

request: I saw a tik tok of someone painting on their s/o back and now I can only imagine peeta doing that

this is singlehandedly the cutest thing on this planet. i am absolutely sobbing. ♡

summary: peeta ran out of canvases, but can't he just make you a canvas?

cw: the sweetest fluff you'll ever read.

wc: 1.2k

type: ❀

"Baby!" your boyfriend, Peeta, called from the other side of your cozy home inside Victor's Village. "I ran out of canvases!"

He was coming down the hall with his box of art supplies under his arm, a soft blanket slung over his shoulder.

This wasn't the first time he had run out of canvases.

"Can you be my canvas?" he begged, setting his box down at his feet where you stood looking out the window.

It was a brisk summer day, a light wind breezing through the windows and the glowing yellow sun setting in the distance, casting a pale orange glow throughout the large windows in your house. The sky was a pale blue, fluffy, white clouds spreading across for as far as you could see.

You sighed happily, looking toward him and nodding your head.

A large smile spread on his face, and he proceeded to set down the blanket on a small clear area of the living room.

"Turn around!" you yelled, giggling at his startled reaction.

"I'm turning, I'm turning!" he said, spinning on his heel and making a dramatic cover of his eyes with his hands.

You began to take off your shirt, throwing it off to the side before you moved your hands to your back.

"You act like I've never seen you naked before," Peeta said, scoffing as his shoulders slouched, the click of your bra coming undone breaking the silence as you tried to come up with a smartass comment.

"Well, we're not doing that now, are we?" you asked, getting on your knees and laying down, your now bare back hitting the cool air and turning your head to face him.

He turned around, sitting down to your right and pulling his nearly falling apart cardboard box of paint toward himself.

"We need to get you another box," you said, your eyes meeting his big, blue doe eyes.

"I know," he nodded, pulling out a thicker paintbrush with an incredibly long wooden handle and setting it next to his leg, pulling out a plastic palette piled at least two inches high of old paint.

"Two things," you began, utter confusion coming out of your mouth as you gave him a weird look. He hummed, looking up from squeezing his paint onto the palette. "One, who the hell needs a paintbrush that long, and two, why haven't you cleaned off your palette?"

He paused, pondering the question before coming up with some snarky comment.

"I personally don't know why the paintbrush is so long, but I do know why I haven't cleaned it off," he squeezed a small portion of a brown onto his palette over a pile of greens, blues, and purples. "It's too much work."

You scoffed, turning your head back and placing your chin on your hands folded in front of you.

The first stroke of paint startled you.

"That's cold!" you squealed, your shoulders arching back as he began to paint a large stripe above your hips.

He set a hand gently above your butt, the waist of your shorts pulled down so he had room to paint.

The stroking of the paintbrush was easing, it had a slight peace and relaxation to it when you had eventually gotten used to the coldness of the paint.

It was quieter now, Peeta focused on his painting and you laying in the sun as his hands working skillfully over you, like a true canvas. He would occasionally pause to get more paint or to wash off his brush, the short sound of sloshing of water and sometimes the sound of his palette scraping on the floor from moving, to which he would groan at and take his hand off of you.

You watched shadows on the wall dance, affected by the beautiful trees and leaves fluttering in the wind outside as he painted along your back, eventually reaching toward your shoulders.

He paused, setting his paintbrush down and moving his hand carefully to your side as to not smudge the paint. He took your hair into his hands, gently pushing it over your shoulder, making sure he had every strand, and letting it go so it fell at your cheek.

You hummed a thank you, and he exhaled softly in response, picking up his paintbrush once again and painting over your upper back.

You felt him going in different directions and organic ways, but you still had no idea what he was painting. His paintings always consisted of something he remembered from the Games, or another form of memory, but they also consisted of nature and beautiful sceneries he had observed.

The few times he had painted on you before, he refused to tell you until you could see it for yourself.

"I'm almost done," he said after awhile of no talking. You could hear the smile and proudness in his voice as he said those three words.

"I'm excited," you said back, not being able to help smiling yourself.

A little bit later, he lifted his paintbrush off of you, the sloshing of water and the sound of the wood hitting the floor. The sun was almost entirely set now, the sky a dusky orange, purple, and blue.

"I'm done!" he said, standing up and groaning as he stretched his limbs.

You stood up carefully, trying not to disturb your hair and covered your chest with your hands. He took hold on your arm and lead you down the hallway to your shared bedroom so you could see in the floor length mirror, covering your eyes as he turned your back to the it.

"Ready?"

"Of course," you smiled.

He uncovered your eyes, and your head immediately turned around to look into the mirror.

Your jaw dropped in awe, a small 'wow' escaping your throat as you admired it.

He had painted a bouquet of sunflowers. The yellows of the perfectly shaped petals contrasted each other, the colors flitting in and out between one another surrounded by beautiful lookalikes. Dark green leaves sprouted from outside the flowers, perfectly crafted and painted with the curves and veins of each little detail. The center of the flowers were stunning, dotted black and brown seeds engulfed in a sea of beautiful oranges, yellows, and browns. The grass and stems below them connected, entangled by one another and painted into an ocean of green grass.

You almost wanted to cry at it's beauty.

"That's so beautiful, Peeta," you breathed, exhaling and laughing in disbelief and amazement.

"I'm glad you like it, you look gorgeous with it," he smiled, his eyes creasing in the corners as he admired your expression.

You moved to hug him, careful not to smudge the painting, your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands met your lower waist.

"I love you," you murmured into his shirt. "Thank you for this masterpiece."

"I love you more than you could ever know," he whispered back, placing a light kiss on the top of your head.

main masterlist | my profile | thg masterlist | request | proof-read: ✓

[norwegika]

Stardew valley rant:

I’ve recently been really getting into the life of spouses after you marry them, because for the majority of them, they kinda just stick at home, occasionally visiting family or friends. And those who do still do stuff, it never changes. Maru always works with Harvey at the clinic, Emily always works for Gus at the saloon, nothing really changes in their lives besides a new, much more sedentary lifestyle. I really would like for the spouses to get new hobbies and stuff when they marry you, so here’s my little ideas/headcannons, bachelorettes first!

Abigail: She begins to work on her adventuring skills in the mines and you’ll find her on every fifth floor, going further and further. She’ll give you gems from her travels, and eventually, when she reaches the bottom of the mines, she’ll start going to the skull caverns where she’ll give you iridium and the occasional prismatic shard. Something cool that could happen would be the addiction of an elevator to the skull caverns as she travels further down, every 25 floors. She would also become a member of the adventurer’s guild and serve as Marlon’s apprentice, taking over the guild on some days or opening a branch in the Calico desert that she mans sometimes.

Maru: Maru never really branches out beyond her personal inventions, so I think there could be a quest where she asks you for a new wing of the house that she could use as a workshop. This wing would be constructed by Robin, would be unlocked at 20 hearts, and would cost 750,000 gold, 250 hardwood, 10 iridium bars and 10 battery packs. Then, you could accept quests from Maru every once in a while and unlock new inventions that she made that would increase qol. Maybe she could give you a crafting recipe for auto-petters, she could make a device that automatically plants grass in meadows for your animals, a machine that can increase the quality of items by using a resource or something, the possibilities are endless!

Penny; Penny is always caring for the children of the valley, and I think it would be great if when you marry her, like Maru, you eventually get a quest that allows you to build a school for the kids, possibly utilizing the space to the left of the community center. Maybe then we could have another mini-festival where you can see the children of stardew valley show off their work, maybe unlock a “Talent Show” cutscene where Jas, Vincent, and Leo show off their skills fr. This idea is more underwhelming than my first two and could definitely be improved.

Emily: I think as you progress your post marital relationship with Emily you could help her convince Sandy to move to the valley and have someone else take over the Oasis, learning Sandy’s real name, unlocking special cutscenes with her, etc. I also feel like Emily would have a little workshop where she makes clothes and you could unlock a system where she takes your gems and a clothing item and combines them, giving your clothes a buff, like combining Topaz with a shirt gave the shirt a +1 defense buff, etc. Emily could even start a clothing line and you could gift these clothes to townspeople and get new sprites and portraits for them :D

Haley: After marriage, Haley does literally nothing but see Emily once a week. This needdsss to change, so I think she could discover her passion for photography again and start a blog about the valley, which would unlock a building to the right side of the Bus Stop: the Tourist Center. You could open a tourist center with Haley and occasionally get tourists that come to the valley, similar to the tourists at the Stardew Valley Fair. These tourists could roam around the town for a bit, and you could unlock new dialogue with the townspeople about the tourists, like “These tourists are really boosting the community economy!”

(Cc specific) Leah: Leah would start hosting art classes in the community center every Wednesday! Every month, the group of people who decided to attend could make a new painting that could be hung up in the community center, orrrr you could unlock a new building between the Blacksmith and the Movie Theater/JojaMart, where you could see the different art pieces and could have a new festival, the stardew valley fine arts conference, where the Famous Painter Lupini could host a talk with the artsy people from the valley and Zuzu City, and you could get new clothing items, a cutscene, dialogue, new paintings and sculptures, etc.

I hope you liked my insane Stardew valley yapping session, I’ll do bachelors tomorrow probably :3

[pluckyredhead]

ur post abt the green lantern’s political leanings was so interesting!! can you do one for the bat family? (but only if u wanna!!)

Honestly, I can't, because their politics are so incoherent.

Like, take Bruce. (And again, like with the Lanterns, I'm talking about canon here, not how I wish things were.) On the one hand, you would imagine he's pretty progressive, right? He's almost certainly a single issue voter and that single issue is gun control. He believes in rehabilitating criminals and in fact a lot of Wayne Enterprises hires are formerly incarcerated people. He is an active philanthropist who pours money into schools, orphanages, hospitals, public spaces, and the arts. These are all leftist values!

And yet the modern Batman is also a completely unrestrained violent anarchic-libertarian power fantasy. Bruce has invented his own law, which he enacts and enforces completely arbitrarily, however he feels like doing so. He obeys the laws he wants to obey and ignores the ones he doesn't care about, while insisting he is law-abiding. He tortures people literally constantly and considers it righteous. He uses the profits from his publicly traded company to become a one-man military industrial complex. (The emissions from the fucking Batmobile alone...!) He illegally surveils the entire city and sometimes the entire planet (Brother Eye, anyone?) because he has decided that his moral authority overrides literally anyone's right to privacy, anywhere. He allows his defeated foes to be locked up indefinitely regardless of their mental state in an institution that would make any qualified mental health professional run screaming in the opposite direction. He's sexist. All of these things sit on the right of the political spectrum, but imagine me pointing to the right like Charlie from It's Always Sunny pointing to his murder board.

And none of the Batfamily is any better. Some of them are honestly worse in certain aspects. Dick was a cop. Jason loves guns. Babs and Tim are even more in love with surveillance than Bruce is. Remember when Tim wanted to replace the police with, like, a Bat-army??? BECAUSE I DO.

It's not really "their fault," as much as anything can be a fictional character's fault. It's the result of being written by writers who are, for the most part, consciously trying to write the Bats as good Samaritans, but are also living in a world where we have had our brains warped by all of our blockbusters being funded by the US military, in a medium where badassery is prized above everything else, and so all this really problematic shit spills out onto the comics page without being questioned. It's also kind of a boiling frog situation: i.e. Batman has always had a cool car, so as he got tougher and tougher, of course that car would eventually become a tank, and no one stopped to go "Wait, what the fuck? What the fuck? How is this billionaire driving a tank around helping anyone???" I guess god bless Zack Snyder for inadvertently highlighting how fucking stupid and counterproductive a Batman taken to his worst extremes is.

To be clear, I don't think this is what most writers are trying to do with Batman (some of them are, but fuck those guys). But it's what happens when all you care about is rule of cool, and the more I think about it the more I'm like...shit, maybe Alan Moore was right and superheroes are just stupid.

Anyway in conclusion, comic book writers should consider the ramifications of what they're writing occasionally. But Bruce Wayne probably still votes blue, at least.

[oddclan-askblog]

More slig stuff plus lore below the cut (there is a lot.)

Slig growth differences: 

free sligs can see well and do not need goggles. They maintain their lower set of mandibles which are used to feed food into their moths as well as taste. Teen sligs steel guns, ammo, and goggles from older sligs when they're not looking. While most of this goes to new escapees sometimes cool stuff "slips through". Teens don't really need any of it, they're seldom allowed to fight or raid. It all just looks really cool so of course they snag it. 

Adult tribal sligs new or original, are expected to leave the old gear behind in favor of copper jewelry and tattoos. Some keep their old gear but most move on. 

Slave sligs are blinded and their lower set of mandibles are removed while they're young. This makes tough food harder to eat and disincentives them from fleeing the factories in adult life. Additionally their tails are bound and cut short making movement without pants very painful. 

Occasionally baby Sligs are smuggled to freedom but very very rarely. Rescuing a squawking sadistic slug is quite difficult compared to a mud egg. 

New blood: 

Slaves who try to become free can not enter the community at will. They are required to bring their weapons and gear (unloaded), whatever they can snatch food wise, and must mark themselves to show their commitment. A mark consists of a very obvious "X" across the head or chest, anything hidden is likely to be missed and the latter will be shot on site. The X must be scarred over by the time they arrive unarmed. 

When this policy was first implemented there was a lot of success and their numbers grew by the day. Once the cartels caught on the deserters thinned out significantly. Recourses have dwindled. Some suggested the policy be changed so marks could be carved across other parts of the body, so as to be more hidden. Treun will not allow it he wants the mark to be obvious.  

Village life: 

There is only one above ground settlement left in Oddworld, the rest are numerous connected by a maze of caves. Escapees are allowed to congregate at the aboveground settlement but no further. Any interaction from the other clans require natives from above or below meeting in the middle. A free queen is rumored to exist but this has never been verified. The sanctuaries constant need for new support and supplies suggests otherwise. 

Sligs live minimalist lifestyles, their tents are woven fabric with leaf littered over the top to blend in with the ground. Each member hunts and gathers together for the clan. Trade with mudokon allow for the acquisition of new art and the occasional tattoo. Muds are not allowed into specially marked sections of the slig tunnels. 

Underground is more complicated, most of the smaller settlements are only three to ten homes strong. The inhabitants feed on cave mosses when desperate but otherwise eat off of dead animals swept into the caverns. Their homes are short dead end tunnels dug into a horizontal "s" shape. A flood room is built into the lower curve so excess water stays in the front half of the home. At the high point of the second curve a long vertical tunnel is dug up toward the bedrooms and other chambers. 

Almost everything is made of some form of clay with fabric and food being stored indoors. Rotten food and waste are disposed of ahead of the village by several kilometers so it flows down current come the storm. Sligs responsible for this travel on specific days of the week. In the interim, trash is carefully sorted and clutter is discouraged. 

The Catacombs: 

Under the swamps lie the ruined Slig cities and shrines. Tunnels and hidden enclaves dug deep into the earth over thousands of years weave a beautiful and dangerous tapestry out of the rock. They can be navigated and shrines can still be accessed but doing so requires careful effort. The biggest danger below is not getting stuck, crushed, or lost, its drowning. Rain is hazardous and inconsistent from above, mountain melt, swamp mog, and anything small enough to drag under, will flood even the largest chasms. 

Bells and bridges connect the highest non flooding point of the caverns. They are specially designed with grooves on their exterior so they will ring as the rain pours. If one can not make it to a bridge above, death is assured. 

The deepest settlements have specially dug water drain offs and bastions so other caverns remain safe. Many ancient cities and statues are closed off by collapsed tunnels or completely submerged underwater. All point to a powerful past where queens warred for power and free sligs thrived in abundance. 

Some areas are inaccessible due to toxic gas which can spread to other caverns if opened. Sligs have a variety of ways for assessing the danger of rooms ahead. Birds are the old-school method, less preferred given the scarcity of food. Repurposed gear can be used especially gas detectors if stolen.

The most common method is tying a trained rat to a string and allowing it to skitter through a small opening. The opening will be closed momentarily with food occasionally added in. The short string keeps the animal close by, its breathing and squeaking being an indicator if the environment is unsafe. If the rat stops squeaking all together the chamber has no oxygen. If the chirps are frantic and it begins scratching at the lid the room is toxic. If all is normal the room is safe. When the results are in the string will be pulled like a leash and the pet returned. This keeps the sligs and their fuzzy buddies alive without wasting resources or much time. 

As Ratz serve a vital role their is much cave art and carvings in their honor. Indeed it seems even ancient sligs understood these creatures genius. Rats and Mize are bred and sold across slig territory for looks, colors, size, and sometimes food. Other Odd races would find this disgusting but Sligs could give less of a damn about their opinions.

Beliefs: 

Sligs are not religious or particularly spiritual at present, they are mostly focused on day to day survival. Some settlements are zealous in their practices and preach their own version of a coming end time. A world borne anew from a great ancient flood where only the most steadfast are saved! Treun blows these isolated settlements off, his people are experiencing enough pain as is. Wouldn't help to preach of imminent death even if most would ignore the rapture too. 

[stupidgalaxybrain]

If there's one thing I'm proud of as an artist, it's the fact I'm a style chameleon. I decided to sit down and recreate 4 artists I really love, and who better to do it with than with the most varied character in the entire franchise: King Dedede! This isn't just for appreciation though, but a study on how other people translate DDD's design, since character design is a passion of mine!

Let's start with @miniiieevee!

Oh my gosh their art is super great, and I think the most important part of getting the style right was the sparkles. I have never seen someone do highlights this way, and it's both super recognizable and super cute! For the King himself, we have a nice round beak, visibly blue eyes, a distinct head, pointed crown jewel, an undershirt, and stripes along the top of the belt. Like most of us, they use the (owo) kind of mouth and really fluff up the coat. Separate fingers can also show up for posing, following Spongebob physics. The stitching on the gloves and the little round eyebrows are another really cool touch! Out of all of the styles I looked at, this one has the most pastel colors.

-

Next is @das-a-kirby-blog!

Das-a-kirby-blog has such a cool variety in their work, from really shapey sketches to super abstracted color schemes, which while super amazing, didn't provide me the best ref material. The colors here are frankensteined from a few sources, so I hope they capture their actual base color palette. They go for the pin-shaped route for body shape, with the undershirt (though sometimes there's no under layer), typically black eyes, extra belt stripes, and a chunky diamond shaped crown jewel. My favorite touch is the cottonball on the crown. Like I said at the top, they excel at shapes in their art!

-

Third is @jojo-schmo!

I've been silently reading their roleswap comic, but I should've been loudly reading it because I super recommend it! I'd also say design wise their Dedede is the most unique! Besides myself they're the only one here to pick the kimono, they have a single blue stripe at the top of the belt, a triangular jewel, and the coolest element of the style, spirals! I've not seen anyone stylize the trim this way, and it's so cool in execution. Another unique element that really adds to certain expressions is the spiky teeth (which matches real life penguins! ...Don't look it up).

-

Last but not least, @cosmicwhoreo!

God, their art is everything. The flow of the lines is so clean and smooth and everything they draw is super expressive. Their Dedede is by far the hugest, and also marks the 4/5 DDDs with a separate head, and 3/5 with black eyes. We have the belt stripes, occasionally a shirt, and a smooth tear drop jewel, but a uniquely shaped crown band. This design sees a lot of influence from the anime unlike the others here, so the color scheme is the most unique.

-

As a conclusion, it's really cool to see all the different design elements that we pick and choose for DDD. Some give him his smash outfit. Some people give him a body type closer to K64 or KATFL. Some people draw his eye color, or separate eyebrows, and others don't. There's no detail that's the same across every version, but they're all our lovable king. If you don't recognize one of these artists, check them out! I can only do a fraction of the incredible work they do, and let me know if there's any other characters or artists you'd like to see this exercise with!

[t00snuff3d]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do pros and cons of dating the proxies? if it's too much you can just do Ticci Toby, Thank you!

Hello! This is such a fun ask, I love it!!!! For right now tho I am unsure how I feel about writing Tim/Masky and Hoodie/Brian in romantic settings just because they are real people behind the characters and I am not fully comfortable writing that. I may in the future, but right now I am not! Hope you enjoy Toby's though :)

Pros and Cons of dating Toby

Pros

You are always entertained. There is never a dull moment with Toby. He loves arts and crafts, and wants to do them with you often. If you're not looking, he will draw a quick sketch of you and write a note on the back to give to you later.

On his good days he will be doting and a bit clingy. He will want to be next to you and make sure that you have everything you need.

Toby will always bring you small gifts. It's mainly things he finds out on missions that remind him of you. Most aren't anything crazy. He will bring you cool rocks, or maybe a hunk of wood that he had carved into a heart. Yet, occasionally he will find something bigger while digging through his victims house (like that pair of shoes you had been talking about for MONTHS).

Loves affection, both giving and receiving. He doesn't care if he is the big spoon or little spoon, just as long as he can be next to you.

Since he can't feel anything, he likes to tickle your back and watch your reactions. He doesn't mind you can't exactly return the favor, he just enjoys making you feel good.

Cons

He's kind of a wise ass, but is wrong a lot. Even though he is wrong (and kinda fucking rude about it), he will defend his stance to the death.

On his bad days hes almost impossible to be around. He will yell and snap at you, but his anger is more directed at himself if anything.

When he gets like this, he needs his space. Sometimes it can be days on end, which is super emotionally taxing and can leave you wondering if you did something wrong.

He does have a bit of a sadistic side at times. In his moods, he will purposely try to embarrass you and then make fun of you for his own pleasure. He is very hot and cold, and sometimes his mood will switch at the smallest of things.

Super stubborn, as said before. He is not afraid to start a fight if he thinks that he is in the right. In his anger, he might let slip a few hurtful names and words.

And that's all I have at the moment! I hope you liked it :) - Ghost

[weebsinstash]

On the other hand, being someone who is chill with being average and a little weird is pretty comforting, albeit not as relatable or drama material. Like you have those insanely smart adopted family members, who are brooding, cool, fight crime, are insanely smart, privileged, rich and accomplished meanwhile Batsis is like,

"I watched some cool True Crime documentaries and helped Albert- Alfred with the laundry. Sorry about your shirt, Damien, added too much bleach. By the way, look at this drawing I made with a following a Bob Ross tutorial on YouTube! Looks kinda wonky but I made it myself, kinda proud of it. No mistakes, just happy accidents. Haha! :)"

By the very next morning Bruce has that shit framed on either on his desk or on the wall in his office and smiles every time he looks at it. Damian is examining the painting, "ah I see--" and waxing poetic about the different little experiential painting techniques you used on the canvas, Dick and Jason and the rest tease you about getting an exhibit at the Gotham art gallery

Like don't get me wrong I tend to write Reader inserts who are typically average (although I'd like to write a few more power fantasies lol) but I just. I feel like any feelings of inadequacy would be amplified by living with this family. For example, I get anxiety and guilt sometimes just knowing if a large or expensive gift has been gotten for me, feeling guilt about it. Just your every day to day life in the Wayne manor would occasionally be filled with all kinds of large and small splendors. A small walk through the house, passing under the crystal chandelier in the grand lobby. A weekly family dinner with actual silverware handed down for generations. Just the ever looming watchful eye of a literal actual butler, a trained professional butler who's been in service for this family almost his entire life

If anything else, I feel like you'd want to contribute in some way. Help around the house, help as a vigilante, do SOMETHING to "pay them back" which Bruce doesn't want to hear any of and also like. Realistically, if we're saying he's full yandere and you're either his adopted kid or a platonic family member or like even a romantic partner, and he's getting you gifts and taking you on trips and stuff, like. The amount of money being spent on you is a figure you will never in your life be reasonably able to pay back and it would STILL be pocketchange to him

You're just like have PANIC ATTACKS out of guilt and shame and you mention the money to Bruce and he's like "oh that? Psssh" like it's. It's nothing to him. It's more money you could make in your entire lifetime and it's nothing to him

Hey, here's a somewhat related and juicy idea. Recently I was thinking of a concept where Reader is a Gotham vigilante, educated and maybe from a well-off family but like, middle class suburbia kind of wealth, not billionaire Bruce Wayne rich. You eventually find yourself catching the eye of both him AND Catwoman and, kind of actually start having a rapport with both of them. You bump into each other on a mission, help each other out, are impressed with each other's work, and suddenly you're bumping into them out on patrol a lot more. Catwoman starts being openly flirtatious with you while Bat simply just, his shift in demeanor is more subtle for people who aren't familiar with him but. Essentially he actually talks to you now, he won't just be silent and mechanical, he'll communicate and banter and make small talk rather than just ordering you around and speaking solely about the current task at hand or future missions.

I picture everyone on a rooftop in the middle of a stakeout and it eventually becomes small talk to pass the time as you almost do a double take when THE Batman starts making idle chit chat with you (really more of you AND Cat, but you being included at all is kind of an honor, really). He's just looking through his binoculars and without moving "any plans for the rest of the evening" and Catwoman looks at her nails and he sees her throw a very obvious Look over to you "well there's a stray little kitty in my neighborhood I've been meaning to scoop up" and she's been calling you Kitty/Kitten so this whole convo has a double meaning for fucking you OR kidnapping you at this point, and you're just like, in full professional mode replying without any hint of sarcasm "that's good, a lot of people don't recognize the dangers of outdoor cats and the significant ecological impacts they can have on their local environments" and Batman is repressing a smirk as Cat is huffing because oh my god now she has TWO dense cuties to look after 😩 (bonus scene where Bruce catches you smirking and realizes you were politely putting her off or at the very least trying to make her focus on the mission and he smiles to himself about what a clever little jokester you are)

Basically the two of them start deciding they want you to be the filling in that BatCat sandwich and just. Imagine they're trying to seduce you and taking their clothes off and Bruce takes off his mask and you're just like "Whoa whoa whoa hold up, BRUCE WAYNE?" And like. YOU INSTANTLY HATE HIM, the switch FLIPS. You either have extremely personal beef with him like his company laid off a parent of yours and sent your family into poverty, or you just like, legitimately ethically hate him as a person, as this billionaire playboy. Like imagine the disgust if he kisses you as Batman and you think it's so hot and romantic and later on its revealed he's Bruce Wayne, who is notoriously An Enormous Manwhore who has kissed like tons and tons of women and been in all these love scandals. I'd feel GROSS?

Like literally you'd go from "oh my god Batman 🥰 he's so cool and dark and mysterious, I have so much respect for him, he works so hard, he's so smart, not everyone can do what he does" to "of fucking course it would be someone like you. Billionaire running around with his custom-made toys. Of course it's you, who else could AFFORD all this shit? No wonder the police just let you do whatever, you could just pay them off anyways! You'd never be arrested and go to jail and be punished like the rest of us, for anything! Of course you're running around in a suit beating people up, men like you always think they can just do whatever they want!!"

Like imagine you were literally about to fuck both of them and you take one look at their faces, "you're a billionaire and you're a millionaire" and just. Leave. Like they're both shocked and appalled because you just DROP THEM for stuff they kinda basically can't control (although a lot of it is like ethics of what they do and have they gain their wealth) and suddenly they're, showing up at your place of employment for lunch or a day-trip, you're trying to do hero patrols alone and one or both of them pops up to try and invite themselves along to qhayever you're doing (which would especially suck because like, Batman specifically could probably do everything you're doing and better so I imagine working in front of him would be extremely nerve-racking. You're just like trying to rewire a circuit board to hack a door and he just points over your shoulder "actually it's that wire" kind of shit and you have to either let him follow you or look like a massive asshole as you tell him to fuck off, which he might even refuse to do, stating that if this is to save lives or whatever then you need his help

Like legit, Vigilante Reader feels like these two rich freaks have basically been toying with you like some kind of pet and in an attempt to cut them out of your life you drive them to actually dig their claws deeper. Bruce meets Selina for coffee to decompress and he's all "so what have you been up to" since she's got this odd little smirk, "oh ive been feeling just awful lately about this little kitty running around all lonely in my nsighborhood so i just HAD to adopt them" and she just hands him her phone with a picture on it and it's. You with a little diamond studded collar that says something dehumanizing like Kitty or Kitten or Baby on it while you've clearly been crying and are maybe even visibly restrained and Bruce is just like "🙄 Selinaaaaa.... can I come visit to 😳 see this cat tho"

[thecattishdragon]

Uzi headcanons

- Bisexual

- Autism

- 19 years old

- Born/created on September 30th, upset about the fact that she was SO CLOSE to being made in october

- Height: 4’2

- Likes being carried around

- Collects human artifacts that she finds on the surface

- HATES physical contact- unless it’s from N, she actually likes hugging him n’ stuff

- Started doing the scared launch thing because of N

- Very awkward in terms of a romantic relationship. Blushes easily and can get very easily flustered, but not as bad as N. Only happens with N.

- Dyed a streak in her hair white because A: it looks cool and B: Her boyfriend and best friend have silver/white hair

- owns SO MANY PLUSHIES. Like, there’s an entire plushie pile at the foot of her bed that’s taller than her. 

- Great artist, teaches N how to draw some things sometimes

 - Has considered doing art livestreams

- Binge watches anime with N, her favorite is Chainsaw Man

- Not too bad at comforting N when he has another flashback episode. Not the best, but not the worst.

- Doesn’t like wearing dresses, would rather wear a suit to a fancy event (if she has no other choice)

- Used to be very friendly when she was younger (6 and lower), giving hugs to everybody and the like.

- Vents to N after a particularly bad day at school

- She’ll horrifically murder whoever upsets N 

- Reads fanfiction a LOT. Occasionally tries to write some of her own, gives up, forgets about it, finds it months later, gets disgusted, deletes it immediately, repeat.

- Usually the one flirting with N, but as soon as N flirts with her (which very rarely happens, he mostly does it on accident), she’s DONE.

- Tinkers with things when bored. Taking things apart and putting them back together, making things out of random parts, etc. Knows how to fix some viruses

- Owns like 10 oversized hoodies

- Less flight stamina than Disassembly Drones, can’t fly for longer than 5 minutes.

- Has an entire corkboard full of N’s drawings, as well as a drawer full of shiny things he gives her

- Does not know how to respond to compliments AT ALL. She has an entire debate in her mind like “what do I say- what do I respond with- oh my god this sucks”

- Likes the sound of Disassembly Drone cores beating (cough cough- N’s- cough cough). She finds it very relaxing to listen to

- Bad insomnia, can only really sleep when with N (aw)

[dumplingsfordays]

you're so pretty, you're so popular

albedo x gn!reader [university au]

genre - fluff

summary - albedo has a little (not really) crush on a semi-popular kid at his school.

cw!: jealousy, albedo's obsessed with you (in a good way I promise), professor ships you two

note - i used to simp for albedo so hard and then I stopped playing genshin... he's still pretty boy in my book though. feel like they did his hair dirty though, it's supposed to be so fluffy and they just massacred it :(

and as always, thank you for reading!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Albedo was jealous of your friends. That was the one simple truth that he never wanted to admit to himself. He'd see you laughing along with them after you'd shown them a funny video and wish that he was the one that was holding you from falling backwards onto the grass as you shook from incessant, adorable giggles, that he was the one whose face hurt from smiling at your radiant expression everyday.

As much as he loved truth, he couldn't bring himself to face it.

And he'd sit on a bench in the shade of an oak tree during lunch, whose relatives sparingly dotted the small field on which you were talking with your friends, and in a sketchbook he would draw you and him on that same grass, blanketed in sunshine as you talked about anything you'd want to. After all, hearing your voice was enough for him to break an uncommon smile.

Albedo did this day after day, and luckily for him, you'd sit on that grass with your friends consistently from midday to 1:30. It was a nice break from the otherwise monotonous existence he led - study, eat, study, walk, draw, work, eat, sleep.

Oddly enough, almost every activity on that list somehow related back to you. The margins of his notes were occasionally occupied by studies of your eyes and hair; when he'd eat, his meals were inspired by what you ate for lunch; his walks were accompanied by music that you'd recommended to him some time ago; and when he slept, his brain would sometimes conjure up images of you hugging him, saying that he'd need to hold out just a little longer and maybe when he has the chance, he'll ask you out. Drawing brought him passion and he did use it as a side source of income, but lately they'd been plagued by splintered fragments of your soul.

He did it automatically, really - he'd add in a dash of your favorite color, draw a person in the background with the same hairstyle that you usually wore, and one time, when Albedo had been painting a portrait for his art midterm, he sketched out a scarily accurate representation of your countenance, usual accessories and all.

He immediately erased it, of course. You were in the same class as him and if he brought the canvas to the professor in front of you, there was no way that you wouldn't be weirded out by him. Who does that, anyway? He'd be better off painting his little cousin, Klee, who was a ray of sunshine and was bound to earn him a hundred.

The stars aligned in such an unpredictable way for him towards the end of the year after a particularly tiring lecture. You, in all your bright, angelical beauty, walked right up to him as he was about to leave and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, 'Bedo!" you smile as he whips his head around to face you. You don't know what you do to him when you call him by his nickname - he practically melts each time.

"Hey." He's panicking - it's obviously not a bad thing, you're smiling, you don't think he's creepy or annoying or anything, so everything's okay, as long as he plays it cool and-

"So, I've been thinking," you start, averting your eyes to look at the floor and then back to him. "We haven't really hung out in a bit. Do you want to grab a bite somewhere sometime? It's okay if you can't, I know you're super busy and all but I found this super nice place that just opened nearby and I thought that it'd be nice to try it out."

He swallows. "Y-yeah, that would be nice-"

"Great!" Albedo blinks at your rather loud interruption and you clear your throat awkwardly. "Um, I mean, um, yeah! So, I think you have my number, so just text me when you're free and and we'll figure it out."

You'd never tell it to anyone but you find his small, shy grin so endearing. He stutters a little when he replies but you think it's cute - he'd never know that unless you told him straight to his face though.

"Sounds- sounds good, yeah."

"So, we're set?"

He nods and grabs his bag, offering to walk with him. You accept with a smile, to which his face reddens, and as you walk out together the professor sighs.

"Young love," he chuckles. "Guess they'll be sitting together from now on."

[whereserpentswalk]

You've gone to hell, and it's not like, super terrible. It's not as nice as the big afterlives like heaven or nirvana or even hades, but it's not like horrible or anything. Satan really wanted this to be a cool place for sinners to hang out, he's clearly trying his best, he just doesn't have the same budget to work with.

You get to hang out with a lot of neat people down here. Your roommate when you first get an apartment in hell is a girl who died medieval Venice. Apparently she spent a lot of time dressed as a man and may have drowned a priest because of a girl they were mutually trying to seduce. She knows a lot of the best places to hang out in hell, which is basically just one giant city at this point because there's not that much space in any given afterlife and there are a lot of people here.

There are some truly terrible people down here. You met someone who made a living selling fake cures for syphilis. And you nearly got into a fist fight with a crusader whose down here for consuming human meat. But generally most sinners you meet are chill people who just sort of had nowhere else to go.

Not much happens in hell. Occasionally the demons give people activities, but for the most part you're just on your own. But that makes it kind of chill, nobody eats or sleeps or has sex or anything, you just kind of hang out and talk, and watch a lot of movies and read books. Nobody has to work, sometimes you create art because you have the time but that's not the same as a job.

Its fun swapping stories with people from the past. Everyone understands eachothers languages for whatever reason, so you can talk to eachother without an issue. You feel so connected to human history, there are so many people down here with interesting lives.

Occasionally you'll meet someone historically famous, like Joan of Arc, Thomas Jefferson, and Steve Jobs all live down here and you might just run into them. And you find that cool. You saw HP Lovecraft crying on the side of the street near your apartment, you think he just does that sometimes.

Generally hell just feels chill. It feels like you should be more passionate about being down here. You didn't die for a very happy reason. You're happy that you get to relax now. Even if it isn't heaven.

[fleetinginfinities]

first ever of these but … the bachelors and my random headcanons/quotes/song lyrics/slices of whatever that fit them 🫶 apologies it doesn’t include everyone, these guys are my favorites and I’m having trouble channeling the others lmao

Sam

- drums his fingers/knuckles on tables, his legs, any surface when he’s anxious or impatient or excited or anticipating something. which, he’s always feeling at least one of the above…so

- his fingers. that’s all

- plays footsie under the table but not in a weird way, in more of a “I literally need to be touching you at all times to ground myself to this present moment and be happy” way

- loves full body contact — huuuge tight hugs, rolling on top of you in bed, pulling you into his chest from behind

- mumbles in his sleep and tosses and turns, constantly reaching for you and pulling you close

- blushes a lot. his cheeks turn the most beautiful peachy color

- talks at the speed of light as his default setting

- speeds when he drives, speeds when he walks, just Does Everything Quickly and with much energy

- is somehow both a morning person and a night owl most of the time

- but when he’s lazy or tired, there’s never been anyone lazier or sleepier

- always answers phone calls on speaker mode

- is unaware of his strength when showing affection sometimes, like an oversized dog

- prominent arm veins. enough said.

- makes you feel so alive. present. his energy is contagious

- there’s not a soul he can’t make friends with

- would absolutely love early/mid 2000s pop punk

- blindingly sunny smile

- beautiful, soft golden hair that he wears messy and literally sticks out every direction but in the hottest way ever

- he’s like the summer solstice. an everlasting day that’s sweet and warm and full of life but also peace. Sam, in all of his chaos, is your peace

- “i’m so in love that I might stop breathing”

- doesn’t ever hold a grudge

- smells like lavender and lemon. no I won’t be taking any feedback with this one

- big fan of flowers

- like, it’s not uncommon for him to show up with a hand-picked bouquet for you he collected on the way over

- could’ve worked in a bakery instead of joja mart and would’ve been much happier. sweet cinnamon roll boy

- is actually the heartthrob of the town

- as sweet and pure as he is, he also has a rebellious side and is often trying to sneak you in his room and toe the line of authority whenever he can

- is quite adventurous and doesn’t really have an ego if he’s bad at things or much fear in general. the results are constant entertainment and occasional catastrophes.

Elliott

- “I dream about you every night now. It’s really quite beautiful”

- is actually strong and built and muscular (totally looks like a red headed Thor in my brain)

- but touches and holds you so gently that it makes you want to cry

- extremely strong jawline

- gives that aloof kind of mysteriousness and quiet confidence that is magnetizing to literally everyone

- doesn’t have a toxically masculine bone in his body

- will talk to you for hours about philosophy, literature, films, art, the meaning of life, etc etc etc

- traces his fingers on your bare skin, lost in thought

- has the most mesmerizing, starry eyes

- being around him makes you feel like you’re living in a dream. everything feels ethereal and hazy

- if Sam is the summer solstice, Elliott is like the peak of autumn, when all of the leaves are at their most colorful and bright just before they fall, and you feel like he’s both the beginning and the ending of something all at once

- as a matter of fact: “is this the end of all the endings?”

- “you showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else. you taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else”

- loving him is the most intense, passionate experience of your life

- he would a b s o l u t e l y be the one that got away if you split up

- big fan of candles and crackling log fireplaces

- really enjoys a good row in his boat in the cool, dewy mornings and his back muscles show it

- his emotional intelligence is unmatched. you’ll never meet a more well-adjusted man

- romanticizes life in only the way a writer can

- isn’t just all depth and somber. also isn’t all pizazz and flamboyance. actually has a great sense of humor as a secret third thing

Sebastian

- despite how much he closes himself off at first, you feel an instant connection with him. you just understand him innately. and you feel like he gets you, too

- downplays how smart he really is

- genuinely loves to let everyone else shine. loves that Sam commands all the attention in the room. loves watching others praise you.

- is never competitive with anyone else and absolutely loves when the people around him win. the most supportive person ever

- really has a soft spot for animals

- incredibly intuitive. can read your mind like a book and anticipate your needs

- if he loves you, there is not another person on earth that would ever catch his attention or temptation. 1000% the most loyal boy

- “he looks up grinning like a devil”

- motorcycle rides in the city late at night when it’s raining

- sometimes doing something reckless is the only way that makes him feel alive

- in other words, he’s a closet adrenaline junkie

- can absolutely rival Elliott in terms of being the most romantic with his words sometimes — though it’s few and far between, he will never stop telling you that you’re the first person that he ever did, well, basically *anything* with and how special you are to him and how you’re his one and only

Alex

- it takes a special person to command his attention, he has always had fleeting attractions but he has never felt for anyone what he feels for you

- is absolutely a great person to go to with any problem. he has a clear and straightforward answer or solution

- is the number one person you want to be around if you just want someone genuinely uplifting to spend time with

- *always* notices physical changes and gives fantastic compliments

- is absolutely the dude who keeps his friend group together well into adulthood and middle age and beyond. he’s the one planning beach days, weekend recreational sports and activities, cooking out or tailgating on game days, inviting you for a bite to eat at the saloon if he hasn’t seen you in awhile, etc.

- genuinely loves a good romance or romcom as much as he loves the newest action movie

- fantastic with kids

- is very committed to you from the start

- will go to great lengths to maintain a happy and healthy and successful relationship. it’s the athlete determination in him

- has quite good taste in aesthetics. definitely has an opinion about fashion, home decor, etc

- has perfect teeth and a beautiful complexion in my mind