#which is that his milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard

[legendaryrooftopscene]

It’s just a constant stream of men throwing themselves at Chon, and Ton not knowing how to handle it even a little bit

[fatkish]

Y/n x Kimetsu no Gauken

——————————————————————————

Y/n: *in the teacher’s lounge at their desk, sprays fart spray*

Sanemi: and then this kid was like- *sniffs* what the f-ck? The hell is that?!

Tengen: what are you talking about? *smells the air* *gags* what the hell did you eat? That’s rank!

Kyojuro: *takes a whiff* That is quite the offensive smell! However I’m impressed with how bad it is!

Obanai: *smells it* Sanemi what the hell

Sanemi: it wasn’t me!

Tengen: the f-ck have you been eating to make such a smell?

Obanai: did you sh-t your pants?

Sanemi: NO! It wasn’t me!

Gyomei: *cries* we should open a window

Y/n: I’ll do it *opens window and sprays fart spray when they walk past Sanemi*

Obanai: Again! What is wrong with you

Sanemi: the f-ck! It ain’t me! My sh-t don’t smell like that

Kanae: *covering her nose* Sanemi, you might want to see a doctor

Tengen: *gaging* it smells like death’s ass in here

Y/n: *falls over laughing*

Sanemi: the hell are you laughing at?!

Y/n: *holds up fart spray for everyone to see* it was a prank

Sanemi: I’m gonna kill you!

——————————————————————————

Kyojuro: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Tengen: That's deep.

Y/n: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.

Tengen: That's deeper.

Sanemi: ….You guys are idiots.

——————————————————————————

Y/n: *Gasp*

Sanemi: wHAT??

Y/n: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

Sanemi: *inhales*

Tengen, in another room with Kyojuro: Why can I hear screeching?

——————————————————————————

Y/n: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

Tengen: Schrödinger's boys.

Kyojuro: FUCK!

Gyomei: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

Sanemi: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

Sanemi: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

Y/n: ...

Tengen: ...

Kyojuro: ...

Gyomei: ...

Sanemi: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

——————————————————————————

Gyomei: Anyone d-

Y/n: Depressed?

Obanai: Drained?

Goto: Dumb?

Giyuu: Disliked?

Gyomei: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

——————————————————————————

Kyojuro: You know what I learned from my friendship with Sanemi?

Gyomei: There’s no such thing as too mean?

Tengen: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?

Y/n: Always hold a grudge?

——————————————————————————

Y/n: *arguing with Sanemi*

Sanemi: you don’t even have the balls to do that

Y/n: yes I do and they’re bigger than yours! They’re on my chest!

——————————————————————————

Y/n: Tell me, what you are mad at?

Tengen: I paid twenty dollars for bottomless drinks.

Kyojuro, in the background: They got to the bottom.

Tengen: What is that? The bottom of the damn glass!

——————————————————————————

Y/n, holding a rock: Kyojuro just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".

Tengen: If you don't marry them, I will.

——————————————————————————

Tengen: Hi could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Y/n: Microwave for 40 minutes.

Sanemi: WHY WERE YOU MICROWAVING A LEMON?!

Y/n: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells and I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges, but I didn’t own any pots…

Kyojuro: Did you burn an orange too? HOW?!

Y/n: Microwave for 40 minutes.

——————————————————————————

Tengen: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Y/n: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Kyojuro: A realist sees a freight train.

Sanemi: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

——————————————————————————

Y/n: Hey, how did my phone break?

Kyojuro: You were drunk yesterday.

Y/n: And?

Gyomei: You threw it.

Y/n: Why?

Tengen: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!”

Y/n: And why didn’t you stop me?!

Sanemi: We were busy laughing our asses off.

[lonelyshrimp-art]

Thief Shenanigans

(Comic ID Under Cut, Credit goes to @incorrect-phantom-thieves for the original post)

A seven panel comic of the original text post.

Panel 1: Ryuji sitting in a booth in Leblanc, a soda on the table in front of him. "Hey guys, if you put a milkshake in one yard and a cold one in another, which will the boys go to?"

Panel 2: Futaba on her laptop in another booth, her face hidden in her knees. In the background Akira stands behind the counter cleaning a mug while Mona sleeps on the counter.

Akira: "Schrödinger's boys"

Futaba: "FUCK"

Panel 3: Ann and Yusuke sitting in another booth. Ann has a cup of coffee while Yusuke is eating a plate of curry.

Ann: "What about cracking open a cold milkshake?"

Yusuke: "Well-"

Panel 4: Yusuke is now deep in thought, completely surrounded by text as hes clearly taken charge of the hypothetical.

Yusuke: "As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any boy attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do."

Panel 5: Yusuke is now further into the moment, clearly hurtling towards a point. He is still completely surrounded by words.

Yusuke: "All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison."

Panel 6: The focus is now back on both Ann and Yusuke, Yusuke now having resumed eating as he smugly delivers his last line.

Yusuke: "Mind you, all this nonsense depends on whether the boys are back in town."

Ann, muttering: "Yusuke?"

Panel 7: Futaba peering over her laptop screen, gobsmacked. Her text is in italics.

Futaba: ".... holy shit, Inari."

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Imagine a mean girls au

How would you cast Remus and Sirius??

oh this is a fun one. and hear me out. i know we love the idea of remus being the weird new kid from Africa who gets thrown into chaos but, that's not it.

Regina George is Sirius. I don't make the rules. Her iconic so you agree you think you're really pretty is such a sirius thing to say, and the like...pointed so smiley and polite to your face thing?

also theres a scene where they go to Reginas house and her little sister is belly dancing in front of the tv?? Regulus. Regulus would be there practicing how to bring the boys to the yard with his milkshake all day every day.

and Sirius would make a spinal halo look GREAT and everyone would wear one to prom the end.

i actually think James is a Cadie Heron variant. Traveling doctor parents and like, only child James. Meets Sirius and is like "yeah this is my new best friend". (obviously there's no fighting over a boy because everyone's gay as Christmas morning here).

WHICH BRINGS ME TO.

Remus as Gretchen Weiners. Jewish, tiny. cracks under pressure, would 100000p kick a boombox into someone else's face. Would be obsessed with Sirius (because he loves him and didn't realize it yet). also love throwing remus a bone and letting his father be the inventor of toaster strudle.

(you didn't ask but Peter is Karen Smith, the end.)

[hlficlibrary]

hello, do you know fics where they start dating because of a bet or one of them makes a bet to sleep with the other one

Hi, anon! I do know of some...the first is an obvious one, but I'll list a few more as well...

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can't Lose by dolce_piccante / @haydolce

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

More than a bet by larrysbitchx

“I bet you my signed Manchester United jersey, and drinks on me for the rest of the year if you can make him fall in love with you and then dump his arse in a week” Stan said, smirking afterwards and quirking an eyebrow at Louis who was sitting there feeling himself shift in his seat.

Or the one where Louis makes a bet to date the art freak, Harry Styles, for a week and dump him. But what happens when he ends up falling hard for him?

Milkshake by Speechless / @smokingluckiesalltheway

He's been saying it for years. He doesn't care that it makes Liam roll his eyes and Zayn sigh and Niall crack up. Lots of things he does get that kind of reaction from the boys anyway. Louis won't stop saying it, 'cause it's true. His milkshake does bring all the boys to the yard. It's a fact.

So the day he decides to get into Harry Styles' pants he says it again, when all three of his roommates are there to witness it. "I'll fuck him by the end of the month. You'll see."

my kingdom for a kiss (tonight you're on my mind) by @leighbot

“Oh fuck, I’m going to have to tell my mum,” Louis says, closing his eyes.

The silence stretches between them for a long moment until Harry starts breathing heavily. “I’m going to have to tell the Queen,” he says, “and my mum.”

Or, the one where Zayn and Louis make a friendly wager and it goes too far, Harry's a baker with a heart of gold and really great hair, Liam is an overworked PA who just wants to enjoy his holiday and Niall is completely at ease, as always. An accidentally married AU mixed with a splash of modern royalty.

[caretaleandotherstuff]

Hi, can you please draw the bad sanses including nightmare sans and error sans saying incorrect quotes?

Here's the incorrect quotes: ⬇️

Error sans: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

Dust sans : Schrödinger's boys.

Horror sans : FUCK!

killer sans: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

nightmare sans: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

nightmare sans: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

*Error sans stares at everyone in the room also*

*Dust sans stares at everyone in the room*

Horror sans : ...

killer sans: ...

nightmare sans: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Heheh, sorry but you should probably ask someone else. I suck at drawing and ADHD will not give me motivation.

[i-put-the-s4p-in-s4pphic]

here are the other LOSERS I'm considering to f/o😒 /lh /silly

I'd ship them both with kazumi bc she's my main girl and yk what? her milkshake does bring all the boys to the yard🥛 (I need to be sedated)

G.enya

I've always wanted to fuck him. there I said it😐 when I first got into the show and started selfshipping I was like "tee hee maybeee" but then I got stressed w life and the morals of proshipping and I already felt bad for f/oing z.enitsu bc I'd eventually outgrow him-🤦🏽‍♀️

It was a whole thing but fuck it, if z.enitsu can have n.ezuko (I don't really ship it lmao but you get my point) then kazumi can have g.enya. equality🤝⚖️

In canon, they bond a little over their unique ways of fighting demons and maybe do some target practice. They're not besties, but they're chill. G.enya would've been more likely to approach kazumi than early t.anjiro that's for sure (leave his tooth alone sir😭)

In my modern au they're closer. I think they struggle over maths together, kazumi joins the gun club (idk what it's called) and they fight sometimes for fun<3 boys will be boys or whatever💕

S.anemi

Again... I've always wanted to fuck him😔 but with him I was like "girl he already has all these fans and you're thirsting over nitsu shim and his BROTHER!? calm down🫵🏼

but now I'm like fuck it we ball🕺

In canon, I think s.anemi roughed kazumi up a little bit (along w o.banai but that's a WHOLE OTHER POST) at her meeting with kaguya. there's tension at first, but he grows a bit of a soft spot for her after learning about her village, her little sister (I also think he thought she was a boy at first so when he learned she was girl I think he would've felt a little bad since he canonically has a soft spot for kids, girls and old people I think?) they have a strained mentor and student relationship.

like anytime they see each other he's immediately making her run drills but also shitting on her to not push herself like?? mf pick a lane😭 but kazumi appreciates it and sometimes goes to him for advice or simple conversation which he refuses to admit how much he enjoys lol. (PUSSY)

In modern au, he's still a math teacher but he's also her friends older brother👀👀 you see where I'm going w this..

listen, this whole thing was inspired by a modern au tenzen fic I read today and I've been lowkey shipping it, but I also didn't want kazumi to be left out so I said "yk what? she can fuck a teacher too. equality💪" /silly

but uh yeah ah ha ha. that's all

*dies cutely*

[purplesurveys]

1804

Did you know that all the fish are dying out? That's the sad case for a lot of animals...

Would you ever wear a white tuxedo? I can't see why I'd ever refuse the opportunity. It's not my personal style, but also why not?

Do you judge a book by its cover? In a literal sense, yes. People-wise, I have my first, super topline impressions depending on how strong a person initially comes off as.

Do you like chips and dips? Yes, anything that comes with a dip I'd be all over.

Last time you went on a rollercoaster: 11 years ago in Singapore. I rode one for the first time, hated it, and have never wanted to get on another rollercoaster since.

Ever been to a pottery class? Not a class per se but I went to a factory once where we were shown the process of pottery and allowed for a handful of volunteers to make their own jars. I joined in :)

Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard? I hope it doesn't...

Who was the last person to stay over at your house? That would be Reena I think, but that's been a while.

Do you like red lipstick? Not on me.

Can you recall your country’s national anthem? Of course.

Do you believe in ghosts? Nope.

Which sweets/candy would you put into your dream pic'n'mix? I never liked candy and never had a bag of mixed candies, so I don't relly know...maybe a bunch of different gummy shapes, sour strips, and peanut butter chocolates.

If you had a boat, where would you sail in your boat? Point Nemo.

Can you rap? I have select rap verses memorized but abilty-wise I'd never say I could be a rapper haha.

Are you a light sleeper? No, I'm awful when it's situations where I have to wake up. I'm never able to do it, regardless of how many alarms I set.

When you were young, did you ever pretend to “marry” somebody? Eh, not really.

What is your favourite Disney film? Toy Story and Tangled.

Do you prefer brown or white bread? White.

Have you ever spent an entire day in bed? I have. I need those days sometimes.

Don’t you just find it annoying when people get too much plastic surgery? I'll sometimes find it hard to understand people who do it in excess, but I just keep those thoughts internally always and I also wouldn't say it's annoying.

How high’s your pain threshold? Very low, it's almost clownish.

What would you wear to a red carpet event? I see myself declining the invitation, lol.

Whose birthday is next, out of all the people you know? Hobi's :)

What kind of coat are you going to wear in the winter? We don't have winter and I don't own coats.

Did you ever go through a Goth phase? I didn't.

Do you find architecture interesting? Only to a certain extent. I like seeing photos of certain styles, like brutalism, but I wouldn't read about architecture.

When on the computer do you ever think about how it all works? Never, tbh.

How many songs are there in your iTunes library? I haven't used iTunes in over a decade.

Do you like Irish accents? I don't dislike it but I also don't particularly watch out for it.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on: My ex cursing me out in full public view at a party.

When did you last go to the park? Last July at the KLCC Park in Malaysia.

Which two animals would you breed together to make a hybrid? Dog and quokka, haha.

Do you ever forget how to walk? Doesn't really happen to me, no.

Do you own a Jesus bracelet? Nope.

How far out can you stick your tongue? Not far at all. It doesn't take long before it starts to hurt.

Do you like David Bowie? I like him and acknowledge his talent but I can't say I've really listened to him a lot.

Would you eat a live cockroach if it made you a millionaire? Tempting, but no.

Does it annoy you when you feel like people aren’t really listening? It depends on how they're like when they do so. Some people are more outright about not actually listening to what you have to say (my mom does this a lot and it drives me insane), but there are those instances where someone just isn't comfortable with eye contact so they do other stuff while hearing you out – that's okay with me.

Are you the type who usually plays it safe? For the most part.

Do you want what you can’t have? Yes, all the money in the world lol.

Ever been copied by somebody, clothing or style-wise? Not really.

Is there a point to clear nail varnish? Idk I don't know much about nail polish and things like that.

What is the latest time you’ve ever woken up? 11 AM.

Ever gotten into trouble over something you didn’t really do? Sure.

Are you currently ill? I had colds just a few days ago but it's on its way out now.

Don’t you just hate being corrected? If it's done in either a condescending or a really harsh reprimanding tone, then yeah.

Are there any really beautiful buildings close to where you live? Not really. You'll need to go all the way to Manila for the pretty architecture.

Who do you think about most? These days, it's about thinking of what to do and what new things to explore and experience once my resignation officially takes effect. I plan on spending April doing a hard reset and kind of just taking a trip here and there to rediscover myself and get myself ready for my new chapter.

I'm also thinking of what new jobs to apply for, of course.

Do you have embarrasing parents? No. My mom can be embarrassing when she occasionally turns into a Karen but otherwise at 25, embarrassing is a word I hardly use for my parents anymore lol.

How often do you use the word “poltent”? Did you mean potent? Because I'm not sure poltent is an actual word.

How’s your grandmother? They're both fantastic and healthy.

What in your opinion is the most annoying noise in the world? Kids.

Are you any good at writing? I am.

Can you speak any Spanish? Not conversational but I could make out words and phrases beyond the basic ones because Spanish colonization.

Do you like things from the ‘50s? Just Audrey Hepburn but otherwise wasn't being a woman at the time awful?

Would you rather be skeletal or curvy? I don't have a preference.

What’s your favourite type of cloud? I don't have one either.

What’s something that really matters to you? My wellbeing.

Did that pass some time? Yes, so much so I took this over 3 days lol. Thanks it was fun!

[mwolf0epsilon]

A Day in the life of Guile Squad

Pi visiting the squad: Hello, I just came to- Pi sees 8-Ball shoving Incognito into the washing machine while Canivete records and Abstract watches: ... Pi retreating: Something suddenly came up.

-

Incognito: Womp rats are having sex in my walls. 8-Ball: Tattletale! Pi: You're just being ungrateful. Abstract: It's their home too, you know. Canivete: So what? Don't slutshame them. Incognito: The womp rats are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled...

-

Incognito: Pi's refusing to wear his glasses! Pi: Incognito, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Pi points to 8-Ball: 8-Ball. Pi points to Canivete: Canivete. Pi: points to Abstract: Sasquatch.

-

8-Ball: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Abstract: Schrödinger's boys. Canivete: FUCK! Incognito: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Pi: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Pi: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Abstract: ... 8-Ball: ... Canivete: ... Incognito: ... Pi: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

[lorecatchup]

Seth to the crowd: "... just like all of you, I grew up in the midwest. Yeah, I'm a midwestern kid too but you know what? That is where the similarities between all of you and me come to a very abrupt end. Because I knew, unlike all of you, that from a very young age I was destined to be more than some pathetic, midwestern piece of trailer park trash. ...I am famous, I am rich, I am somebody."

I find this very interesting like, he's doing the classic heel talks shit about the town they're in thing but I also think it also carries a lot of weight for his character

When he was in NXT his whole thing was being like, an underdog with a dream and something to prove, which fits with growing up in a small town without a lot of money and no prospects, and like, you can go the inspirational route with that, or you can go the villain route lmao and I guess Seth was so desperate to be Somebody and be Loved that he was willing to be a monster to get it, which is actually super similar to Cody's character, but by doing these horrible things he thought he had to do to make it, and "selling out", he never earned the respect and love of the audience, like as hard as he tried he never /made it/ (like Cody) and it wasn't until he made the decision to just be Himself, that people finally showed him the love and adoration he'd been desperate for for his whole career (like Cody)

Jimmy and Jey and Stardust and Goldust are doing a How Well Do You Know Your Bro? gameshow lmao

He's so excited to be here lmao

Jimmy can do a flawless Kel from Kenan and Kel impression

They're so CUTE

Stop, they got JBL with a your mom joke

OMFG

Stardust growing increasingly more desperate as space fact after space fact isn't working while trying to get Goldust to guess the word Milkshake: "it brings all the boy's to the yard!"

Goldust: "Uranus!" Omfg??????????? AN EXPLICIT MEN LOVE CODY'S ASS JOKE? IN MY SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT?????

HIS FACE

SHOCK, BETRAYAL

[inktober-of-a-fan-girl]

Day 12: Christian Borle

This is from 2009.

More information in Keep Reading.

It started as a book series…

The "Starcatchers" books by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson...

...are an unauthorized series reboot that was published by Hyperion Books (a subsidiary of Disney) in the US and by Walker Books in the UK.

The first book is Peter and the Starcatchers (2004). Set on a ship called Never Land featuring Peter and an earlier group of Lost Boys. In 2005, the publisher announced plans for Disney to adapt the book as a digitally animated movie. Second and third are Peter and the Shadow Thieves (2006) and Peter and the Secret of Rundoon (2007). The fourth book is Peter and the Sword of Mercy (2009), where twenty-three years since Peter and the Lost Boys returned from Rundoon. The Bridge to Never Land (2011), is an expanded part and fifth book where a pair of siblings, Sarah and Aidan Cooper drawn from the modern world as they follow clues left by an ancient coded document. The "Never Land Books" by Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson, and Greg Call (ill.), is a series of unauthorized spin-off chapter books. Based on the continuity established by the "Starcatchers" novels, for a younger audience. The books are: Escape from the Carnivale (2006), Cave of the Dark Wind (2007) and Blood Tide (2008).

Captain Hook becomes this…

In the novel Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson, Captain Hook is distinguished by halitosis, beady black eyes, a pock-marked face, and perpetual filth of his person and surroundings contrasting strongly with J. M. Barrie's Etonian gentleman. The novel, which takes place before the Captain meets Peter Pan, calls Hook "Black Stache" for his prominent moustache, and his ship is called the Sea Devil; he captures the Jolly Roger, originally a British ship called the Wasp, later. Black Stache is renamed "Captain Hook" in the second instalment, Peter and the Shadow Thieves. In Barry and Pearson's book, his left hand is accidentally cut off by Peter.

But then it got adapted into a musical/play….

The first book, "Peter and the Starcatchers" was adapted into a play similarly titled "Peter and the Starcatcher" winning several Tony awards. It debuted in the winter of 2009 at La Jolla Playhouse as part of an arrangement with Disney Theatrical. It was re-staged Off-Broadway in 2011 and opened on Broadway on April 15, 2012, at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre.

Captain Hook was made into this…

In Rick Ellis' theatrical adaptation of the Barry-Pearson novel, Black Stache (portrayed in the original production by Christian Borle, who won a Tony Award for the role) is a witty, poetical, but psychotic pirate prone to malapropisms and the occasional pratfall. Similar to the Disney film character, Black Stache resembles both a dangerous villain and a comic buffoon. The last of a line of villains, he seeks to become a great villain by fighting a great hero and finds one in Peter. His hand is cut off not by Peter, but accidentally severed when he slams the lid of a trunk in a fit of rage.

I am very disappointed in the creators.

But there is also this one...

Black Stache: A highly intelligent but malapropism-prone pirate chief, so-called due to the black mustache that is a trademark in his family. In search of a great hero who he can oppose to become a great villain, Stache is given to scenery chewing and anachronistic jokes and has a hook in his future. The name ‘Black Stache’ is a reference to the pirate Blackbeard.

Blackbeard will be mentioned in another Inktober.

At least the actor has blue eyes….but there is nothing else in Barrie's character here...just the mustache from which he gets his name.

Anyways, here are the play trailers and at the Tony awards….

"And I bet your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard but I'm not interested!" is the best.

[peachonified]

All the Milkshakes

part of a threadfic series which can all be read HERE

tags: OsaBoku, bottom Bokuto, top Osamu

Chapter Text

Bokuto is such a well hung lad it brings all the boys and girls to his yard.

And since he's such a people pleaser, he does his best to make them happy and satisfied.

And it's fi,ne. Seeing someone else happy and satisfied? That makes him happy and satisfied.

But then the first time he sleeps with Osamu, Osamu completely ignores his cock.

And that’s a very surprising first.

It's not that he's never been with strong guys - Bokuto has preferences too! - but Osamu is the first just to... manhandle him and throw him around and pin him down and Bokuto is living for it.

But since it is the first time he’s ever had sex with someone who isn't invested in his cock, he can’t help but feel a little uncertain. They're getting their breath back, Osamu's arms wrapped around him, Bokuto with a new and enjoyable ache in his lower body. He feels good. Really good.

But… he has an awesome cock, and why wouldn’t Osamu…?

He wriggles about, he fluffs his pillow, he feels the stickiness of Osamu’s cum between his cheeks, but he can't stop thinking about- Osamu's hand presses into his hip, holding him in place.

"What's got ya so antsy, Bokkun?"

Bokuto wiggles in response. "It's nothing, Samu-"

Sighing heavily, Osamu bites Bokuto's shoulder. "Not gonna lie now, are ya?"

Bokuto wiggles again. "It's just... everyone else I've slept with, they, y'know."

He feels Osamu shake his head. "Nope. I really don't."

Bokuto sighs loudly. Why is this so hard??? "You know, they want me to fuck ‘em, cos I've got a you know... a big dick."

Osamu makes an interested sound, and his hands slips off Bokuto's hip to grip his cock. "Oh yeah, it is pretty big.” Then he lets it go, hand moving back to Bokuto’s ass. “Shame it's gonna be useless with me."

Bokuto has never been turned on so hard or fast in his life.

[2-dsimp]

1. Club - Martial Arts. Of course, given how we died and several other disasters in the last round, we’ve gotta be strong and fight back. Not to mention, Farty Tarty is nuttier than squirrel shit, so appealing to his good side by being in his club may extend our free life trial some.

2. Seduction and Intelligence - That being said, we’re the one whose milkshake brings all the boys (and girls) to the yard, so in instances where they get a wee bit too lustful, we need to beckon to them and stay alive in addition to our strength. Also, brains is always plentiful in survival genres; ‘nough said.

3. Diluc, Zhongli, Hu Tao, and Itto - Dil and Li are among the calmer of the menfolk, plus we rly didn’t get to see much of either (or at all with dragon boi) last round. Diluc doesn’t seem as likely to harm US as he is others, but I could be wrong on that. Either way, getting him in a good mood would be beneficial, I feel. Zhongli’s also part of the tutoring thing or w/e, so being on his good side may raise our smarts. Hu Tao’s profile states she’ll protect us from harm by mercilessly pranking those out to get us, so if we piss off any rivals (as in, those who like the admirers), she’ll be handy. Lastly, Mr. One And Oni Brain Cell has the Arataki Gang, so if the Hu Tao idea falls through, we’ll have several bodyguards on hand in addition to their himbo leader who’s already powerful/intimidating as is. People would leave us alone knowing we’re associated w/ them, even if it might bite us a bit. Itto’d be good for a last resort.

4. Date w/ Xiao, Kiss Diluc - As many have pointed out, Evil Conquering seems like he genuinely cares about us in his own, distorted way. I wanted so badly to help him after his fall last time, but nooooo... 😒😒😒 which is why, he at least deserves kinder treatment this time around, I feel. With Diluc, well... okay, I’m talking primarily out of my crush on him, but he’s also a gentleman willing to be our knight in shining armor and a beyond worthy first kiss (plus his lips probably taste like grapes, sooooo 😋🥰).

May the odds be ever in our favor, and may our hearts be our guiding keys.

Your survival kit has been received o(^▽^)o✨

[dangermousie]

Ece gets a job as a waitress at a place owned by Evren’s dad (he got her the job) but she asks for the fact that she got the job through the owner’s son/is friends with same not to be known because she wants to be treated same as anyone so when she gets groped by a nasty rich customer, the manager takes the old molester’s side. I love that Ece throws a glass of water into his face.

But also I find it FASCINATING that our bad guy Yagiz, who threatened to publish Derin’s nude, who did his best to get Ece and Kerem expelled, who caused an accident for the twins’ dad to cause trouble etc etc, literally GETS UP from his fancy meal with his abusive dad and same dad’s contacts. HMMMM. Between this and stuff I’ve seen in previews, I think he’s falling for hr. All the screwed up rich boys with issues are totally going for Ece’s balls to the wall attitude which is mixed with warmth. Heeeee. Ece’s milkshake brings all the wealthy psychos to the yard. :P

And he drives off. Just as well because a hotter and psychier psycho is about to show up...

Bwahahahah matchmaking, mob-style!

[yeetlegay]

Rating Kinnporsche’s fruitiest moments 🍌🍑🍋

This little finger move, aka the Prostate Locator 3000. He doesn’t need a milkshake, the boys are already in his yard thanks to this.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

We get it Porsche, you can fit a lot in your mouth.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍌🍌

But as we all know, that won’t stop him from trying. The sick burn is made null and void by how fucking fruity he was to judge a man’s breedability in the first place.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍇🍇🍇🍇

Another fine example of the Prostate Locator 3000, but what really elevates the fruity factor here is the little shoulder shimmy he adds in. If fruitiness were an Olympic Sport, my man would be gunning for gold.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍋🍋🍋

Queer culture at its finest to sit in front of a monk, listening to his wise sermon, making merits with your enemy’s spy while you grope him for all to see. It brings to mind my days of sitting in mass thinking about kissing girls.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍑🍑🍑🍑

Oh, to be a man, freshly railed, drinking milk at night with another man (who used to date your man), locked in a petty exchange of innuendo to gloat about swallowing come. Milk has never been fruitier.

On a scale of 1-5: 🥥🥥🥥🥥🥥

This is the healthcare we deserve. Pride flag ambulance lights, cute robes, and a shared cigarette with which to indirectly kiss your fellow patient.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍓🍓🍓

Gazing up through your bangs with fear in your pretty eyes after suffering brutally at the hands of your sexily troubled kidnapper? Something LGBT is afoot.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍊🍊🍊

He’s eating his ass. What is there to explain?

On a scale of 1-5: 🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑

Nothing fruitier than wedding rings. The produce aisle is wiped clean.

On a scale of 1-5: 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒 + bonus 🍒

[alex-just-vibing]

Fuck you I'm gonna make sdr2 survivor incorrect quotes and none of you can stop me (spoiler warning for who survives)

Hajime: Don’t stay up all night, Akane. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Akane: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think. Kazuichi: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen. Akane: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese? Hajime: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

Hajime: I just want someone to take me out. Kazuichi: On a date? Sonia: With a sniper gun? Fuyuhiko: Both if you're not a coward.

Fuyuhiko, holding a rock: Kazuichi just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock". Hajime: If you don't marry them, I will.

Hajime: What do you do when someone offers you drugs? Kazuichi: Take them! Akane: Punch them in the neck! Sonia: Say thank you! Fuyuhiko: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance! Hajime: … Hajime: No.

Hajime: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Sonia, rushing in: Hajime! Kazuichi tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Akane: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Akane: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons. Hajime, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

Kazuichi: If I run and leap at Hajime, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. Kazuichi, running towards Hajime: Coming in! Hajime: No! I’m holding coffee! Hajime: *Drops coffee and catches Kazuichi*

Fuyuhiko, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Akane: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Kazuichi: Schrödinger's boys. Hajime: FUCK! Sonia: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Fuyuhiko: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Fuyuhiko: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Akane: ... Kazuichi: ... Hajime: ... Sonia: ... Fuyuhiko: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Kazuichi: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm. Fuyuhiko: That is not something you actually have installed. Kazuichi: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION

Hajime: Two brooooos! Kazuichi: Chillin' in a hot tub! Hajime: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! Kazuichi: Hajime: Kazuichi: *tearing up* Hajime: Babe, c'mon... Kazuichi: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. Hajime: Babe...

Kazuichi, Entering Fuyuhiko's room: Akane did it again. Fuyuhiko: Peace disturbance? Kazuichi: What no- Fuyuhiko: Arson..? Kazuichi: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- Fuyuhiko: uh....Attempted murder? Kazuichi: NO, SHE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

Kazuichi: Hey random, what are your favorite flowers? Hajime: Peonies, why? Kazuichi: Hajime: Were you going to get me flowers? Kazuichi: Hajime: Kazuichi: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗ��

Hajime: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Fuyuhiko: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Hajime: Th-that's not how that works-

Akane, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Fuyuhiko, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Hajime, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Kazuichi, trembling: What are we playing?!

Akane: Would you like something to drink? *She opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper- Kazuichi: Spiders? Akane: Spiders it is then. Kazuichi: No, that wasn’t- *But she were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders…*

Hajime: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Sonia, Kazuichi, Fuyuhiko, and Akane: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Akane, knocking on the door: Kazuichi, open up! Kazuichi: It all started when I was a kid. Akane: That’s not what I- Fuyuhiko: Let him finish!

Sonia: Fuyuhiko doesn’t look very happy. Hajime: That's his happy. He's just a bitch.

Hajime: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Akane: How is the most beautiful person in the world? Sonia: *blushing* I— Hajime, butting into the conversation: Kaz is perfect, thanks for asking.

Fuyuhiko, grinning: I have a knife! Sonia: Put it down, Fuyuhiko. Fuyuhiko: Make me! *sprints away*

Kazuichi: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing. Hajime: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Kazuichi: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Hajime, blushing: Okay. Fuyuhiko: It's fucking summer.

Akane: *sees Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko together* Akane: They're cute. I would put them on a boat. Hajime: You mean... you ship them?

Hajime: *speaking Spanish* Kazuichi: I know, I know. Fuyuhiko: You speak Spanish? Kazuichi: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Hajime speaks.

Kazuichi: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Hajime a little bit. Fuyuhiko, holding Kazuichi's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Kazuichi: No, that's our joint tombstone. Fuyuhiko: My mistake.

Kazuichi: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

Fuyuhiko: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Kazuichi: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Fuyuhiko: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Hajime: Edible.

Hajime: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts? Kazuichi: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.

Hajime: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Fuyuhiko: I'm a knife. Kazuichi, from across the room: He's the little spoon.

Kazuichi: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. Fuyuhiko: Why’d you get banned? Kazuichi: Touched the rat. Fuyuhiko: … What rat? Kazuichi: Chunky Cheese.

Kazuichi: We have a problem. Hajime: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Hajime: Why is Kaz crying? Fuyuhiko: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Kazuichi: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! Hajime: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- Kazuichi: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! Hajime: NO, NOT THAT!

Fuyuhiko: You shouldn't be using a straw. Kazuichi: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff. Fuyuhiko: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.

Fuyuhiko, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Kazuichi: Gray. Sonia: Grey. Fuyuhiko, turning to Akane: Now tell them what color you think it is. Akane: Dark white.

Sonia: Would you slap Kazuichi- Hajime: Yes. Sonia: I didn't even finish! Hajime: Sorry, continue. Sonia: Would you slap Kazuichi for 10 dollars? Hajime: I would do it for free. Kazuichi: Rude...

Kazuichi: This date is boring! Fuyuhiko: This isnt a date. I said I was going to the store. Kazuichi: Then why did you invite me? Fuyuhiko: I didnt, I specifically said "dont come with me" then you said " fuck you Fuyuhiko I'll do whatever I want!

*Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko playing minecraft* Kazuichi: Oh no, oh no, oh no- Fuyuhiko: What’s wrong? Kazuichi: I did a thing. Fuyuhiko: You regret the thing you dID- Kazuichi: *screams* Fuyuhiko: What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it- Kazuichi: *screams again*

Kazuichi: We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers. Akane: That sounds like a challenge. Kazuichi: I have to stress, that is not a challenge. Akane: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted! Kazuichi: There is no challenge!

Kazuichi: *Locks Fuyuhiko in the car.* Look like a child, get treated like a child. Fuyuhiko: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

Kazuichi: Is the pink panther a lion? Hajime: Say that again but slower. Kazuichi: I don’t get it. Hajime: He’s a PANTHER. Kazuichi: Is that a type of lion? Hajime: No, it’s a fucking panther. Kazuichi: *googles panther* They aren’t pink? Hajime: AND LIONS ARE?!