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new-eyes-extra-colors · 1 year

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FNV courier asks: 1, 3, 7, 10, 12, 21, and 42

Tysm for the ask! For my courier, Aces:

which faction did they side with (NCR, legion, yes-man, or house)?

They joined Yes Man. Initially they were uncomfortable working with him because of his association with Benny, but they got over that pretty quickly--not least because in their opinion, their other options were much worse.

3. melee, guns, energy weapons, or unarmed?

A combination of melee and guns--they use Lucky (a revolver) for distance and Gehenna (a shiskebab) for close combat. They can fight unarmed, but prefer not to. They adjust their fighting style depending on which companions they're with, for example keeping distance so as not to get in Veronica's way, or moving in close to keep enemies focused on them and away from Arcade.

7. favorite companions? least favorite companions?

Their favorites are Veronica, who they fuss over and treat like a little sister, and Arcade, who they consider their best friend. They think ED-E is the cutest little thing in the whole Mojave. They're close with Lily and Boone as well, although they take some time to warm up to the latter, the two of them wind up very good friends.

(They're friends with Raul and Cass too--those two are just kinda difficult to get in-game so I haven't spent a bunch of time with them and am not 100% sure about how Aces feels about them in comparison to the others.)

10. where were they born/raised? when/why did they leave?

Aces was born in Oklahoma before moving west, though in their case it was because they got a job as a courier, which is something they've been doing for a while. Their family raised horses.

After being shot, they don't remember this, but they do retain their skill with animals.

12. how did the bullet affect them?

Badly. They have almost no memory of their life before it, and can't remember their name. Doc Mitchell calls them "Ace" because of the ace of hearts card tucked into their hat band, and it just kind of sticks. They're blind in their right eye and have scars across the right side of their face, and because they're self-conscious of their looks, they style their hair and wear a bandanna to cover the worst of the damage.

21. what do they look like? how tall are they? are they attractive? any piercings, tattoos, scars?

Have a little doodle!

They're 6'5", muscular, and somewhat top-heavy. As mentioned, they have facial scarring from the bullet, but that's the worst injury they've sustained in their life. They have a number of minor scars and scrapes from working with horses, as a courier, and travelling, but nothing noteworthy. They keep their hair long until after Old World Blues, where it's shaved and they decide to keep it that way. By that point, they're starting to go grey.

They love wearing bright colors and dressing up when they go out on the Strip. Particularly, they like floral patterns and embroidery. They're charismatic and a little vain, and can be very showy in mannerism and appearance.

42. name a random fact about your courier.

This is sort of a meta fact I guess, but when I first played FNV I was also reading Stephen King's The Dark Tower novels, and I based Ace's initial appearance on a character in that series named Susannah Dean. I think the name on my first save was "Suze," even.

#tysm for the ask!#aces is one of my oldest ocs #like... since new vegas released old #it's just in the last couple years i've gotten back into fallout really deeply that i've written more of them #long post #autumn.oc #oc: ace #i wish i could recommend the dark tower but it's like.#it's not GOOD but i like it a lot y'feel #...like fallout 4 #anyway. lots of not great stuff in it but i also cried while reading it a lot #i should maybe not have been allowed to read it in middle school but y'know #sometimes kids are gonna read stuff they're too young for #2020 art alert btw. i need to draw them more and get a ref sheet for them #working on nora's presently #''are they attractive'' i mean I think so but they're my character so i'm biased lol

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anothanobody · 2 years

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It is interesting to see people speculating on the number of children Barbarian King Eren and Empress Mikasa would have. Because yes, the story has breeding kink undertones from the fanfic point of view. And we did have real life cases of royal couples who had astonishing amounts of children. Reining Empress Maria Theresia of Austria had no less than sixteen children with her husband Franz I Stephen. King Edward I of England and Eleonor of Castile had at least fourteen. However, if you look at Roman Imperial family trees, you’ll find most of them didn’t even actually have biological offspring.

I never found a satisfactory explanation for this. We have full records of kings in Antiquity with many sons, and later Byzantine Emperors – who are, in fact, Roman Emperors two, but categorized differently – didn’t follow this childless pattern. This lack of biological progeny wasn’t actually a problem in the Roman world because, even though it was named Empire, they didn’t follow family and succession traditions like modern European countries. The system we think about, in which the eldest son of the king succeeds him and is in turn succeeded by his eldest son (or daughter, nowadays) originated from the Franks in the Early Middle Ages and was slowly adapted by Europe as a whole. Many countries never had such a succession system: Byzantium, China, Persia, the Caliphates, Japan, the Mongols, and so forth, never used it. Great Britain, use this system with a very particular way of counting children, remounting to the 18th Century succession dispute. Russia’s successor was chosen by the previous monarch, which led to innumerous coups and civil wars in the 17th and 18th Centuries until the Pauline Laws which established the Frankish system in 1797.

Ancient Rome slowly walked towards something akin to the Frankish succession as the Emperor accumulated more and more institutional power during the Dominate, which is exactly the period we are talking about. This coincided, funnily enough, with the decadence and dissolution of the Empire, even if the Frankish succession, however problematic in theory, proved to be the most stable model. Roman family structures involved both the biological family, the clan you belonged to, and the adoption of children. And adoption was usually what Emperors did when they wanted a worthy successor, even if they had biological children of their own. So you’d have a 50 something Emperor adopting a 40 something general or politician. In sum, family composition and succession laws worked very differently in the Roman world. What we call the imperial dynasties are usually connected by blood but not necessarily emperor to emperor, but normally through the marriage of sons and daughters from one another, even if they didn’t ascend the throne, their sons could. The very same Theodosian Dynasty ruling in the East and West at this time in History, although much more similar to the succession laws we know today, actually co-reigned with the Valentinian Dynasty in the West. Both families kept the throne between themselves through many marriages. It is not something we, used to European succession traditions, would be very familiar with.

So how many children would Empress Mikasa and Barbarian Eren have? No idea. Historically, very, very few, if any at all hahaha! Attila did have three sons that we know of, and probably had more unrecorded children, specially daughters. Is it possible to have them have 16 children? Yes, why not? Mikasa’s position as reigning Empress is entirely new as well, it could be the start of a new reality for the imperial family. Ancient Rome had many famous and influential woman, but only one ever came to directly rule the Empire as regent, Galla Placidia, mother of Honoria and Valentinian III. Later Byzantium would have influential consorts like Aelia Pulcheria and Theodora, but the Roman world would only know a reigning Empress in 797 with the usurper Irene of Athens. Later they would have legitimate Empresses, like Theodora I the Blessed and Theodora II Porphyrogenita, Eudokia Makrembolitissa and Zoe. Since Rome never had a proper reigning Empress, we could imagine how it would be like. If we go by later Byzantine tradition, however, Mikasa would be the key to legitimacy to become Emperor, and whoever she married would be automatically Emperor – but she, herself, wouldn’t have a claim to rule on her own, and most likely would only act as a regent while she’s not married. Here, however, I think it is safe to say Eren and Mikasa co-rule. But for her time, Mikasa’s (and Eren’s) position is something unheard of in the History!

my beautiful history anon came backkk😭😭😭

honestly i think the romans with the adoption and selection had it best, if them in their own position of power was good and acclaimed it makes sense for them and the people around to choose and the adopt or have them marry their daughters. to mold the next emperor that at least had the same values. when it’s about family to family it gets risky even more when it’s a birth right for the kid. i’d say they are not entirely sure they want their child but nonetheless teach them the ways of ruling and if he grows up to be a good one then no problem if not there’s the siblings or other people.

i think the fact the people wanted mikasa in this au to be the empress it’s the point of conversion. things are not the same anymore. i think we could say that’s where we deviate a bit. and thinks could change. how many kids? i don’t know honestly. we’ll see as we go, but i want miksa to tear herself open too many times. birth is dangerous and painful after all.

i love you tho history anon. your manuscripts of knowledge you send us are a breath of fresh air 😮‍💨

#barbarianking!eren x empress!mikasa

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nijjhar · 2 years

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Luke 1v26-38:- Pattern of the war ending with the Atomic in the Seventh ... Luke 1v26-38:- Pattern of the conventional war beginning on 14/05/2023 and ending with the Atomic War in the Seventh Month of Christ on 14/11/2023 or soon after. https://youtu.be/ru3qBTFj17g Holy Gospel of our Supernatural Father Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc., delivered by the First Anointed Christ, which in Punjabi we call Satguru Jesus of the highest living God Elohim that dwells within His Temple of God created by the demiurge Potter, the Lord of the Nature Yahweh, Brahma, Khudah, etc., the Greatest Artist of all and it is called Harmandir or “Emmanuel” according to Saint Luke 1,26-38. In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel, a Messenger was sent from God Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc. to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin's name was Mary. And coming to her, he said, "Hail, full of grace! The Lord Yahweh, Brahma, Khuda, etc. of Nature at large is with you." But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Yahshua, the son of Yahweh. He will be great and will be called Son of the Highest Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc., a Christ, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father – IT IS A CORRUPTION -, and he will rule over the house of Jacob, THE HONEST Joseph whose generations are the Samaritans forever, and of his Royal Kingdom there will be no end." But Mary said to the angel, "How can this be since I have no relations with a man?" And the angel said to her in reply, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you. Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc. And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, - a corruption; she was not her relative but the wife of the honest Levi Priest has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God." Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord Yahweh of Nature. May it be done to me according to your word." Then the angel departed from her. So, will be the pattern to Atomic War in the Seventh Month of Elohim from 14/05/2023 when the 5 years of grace have gone. Wherever the people are faithful to Yahweh as in the Brazilian and African Jungles, who have the tribal marks as Abraham gave to Isaac circumcision as the tribal mark but the greedy Temple Priests gave this tribal mark to people not born of the seed of Isaac the Gentiles and foreigners to make them their Disciples for fleecing and Angel Stephen exposed their hypocrisy in his long speech urging them not to do so as our Forefather Abraham was a Noble Man = Adam, Sarah = Eve and Yahweh gave them the Promised Land = Garden of Eden of honey and milk so that they can live peacefully fully protected in the company of their creator Yahweh. Still, they killed him for exposing their hypocrisy. Today, all those fake circumcised sons of Isaac especially in Iran are going to destroy them in the ensuing ATOMIC WAR EXPECTED SOON AFTER 14/05/2023 when Israel is 75 years old. Before this Atomic War, there would be six months of intensive war and in the Seventh Month of Elohim, the Middle Candle of the Menorah will give the FINISHING TOUCH TO THIS DARK AGE OF CHRIST, THE ROYAL HIGH PRIEST CHRIST JESUS, through the ATOMIC WAR. At Present:- PUTIN = NATHANIEL; WHAT IS INSIDE IS OUTSIDE = NO DUPLICITY VS THE USA AND THE WEST BLASPHEMER HYPOCRITES = TEMPLE HIGH PRIESTS, THE KILLERS OF JESUS AND HUMANITY. Putin, the man of God = Nathaniel, what is inside that is outside or no Blasphemy or hypocrisy. https://youtu.be/DP6Tt6tZN-8 Greatest Blasphemers and Killers Blair and Bush being considered by Anti-Christ Bishops for Nobel Peace Prize. Nobel Peace Prize should rather go to Assange and the Iraqi Journalist who threw both his shoes at the hypocrite Bush in Iraq. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qHdTpTXHvE&list=PL0C8AFaJhsWz7HtQEhV91eAKugUw73PW1 Blair and Bush's blasphemies bearing Fruit in economic chaos created by Virus https://youtu.be/0WBYOmpDuCs American Jews, the Tares – Matt 13v24-30 are today destroying one country after the other, in order that the scripture might be fulfilled.– http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/GrimReaper.htm It is worth making posters of this Cartoon to highlight the atrocities of these “Saltless” Tares. My ebook has been published by Kindle. ASIN: B01AVLC9WO For a full description, please visit my website:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Rest.htm I need IT Graphic help to finish my Books:- ONE GOD ONE FAITH:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/bookfin.pdf and in Punjabi KAKHH OHLAE LAKHH:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/pdbook.pdf John's baptism:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/johnsig.pdf Trinity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/trinity.pdf

#youtube

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demi-shoggoth · 2 years

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2022 Reading Log, pt 20

96. Strange Sea Creatures by Erich Hoyt. This book was something of a disappointment for me. Hoyt has written other books about deep sea life that are better than this—Creatures of the Deep most notably. The thing is, this book is short; only about a hundred pages, with some very nice photography but a paragraph or so of information on each depicted organism. This was published during the lockdown portion of the pandemic, so I wonder if this project was abridged due to publisher issues, or was perhaps a children’s book that was expanded a bit and sold as an adult book. The pictures are nice, and the information is good, but there’s just not as much of it as you would expect from the price tag.

97. Momo: The Strange Case of the Missouri Monster by Lyle Blackburn. I’ve talked in this series before about how Blackburn is one of my favorite of the “true believer” strain of cryptozoologists; he does his due diligence with research and knows how to weave a good yarn. This yarn is about the flap of hairy hominid sightings in Louisiana, Missouri (how’s that for a confusing town name?) the summer of 1972, dubbed “Momo” for “Missouri Monster” by the press. The book also covers other Midwest sightings of Bigfoot-style monsters before and since, the flap of UFO sightings in the area at the time and the efforts to link Momo to ETs, and the parts of the story we know are hoaxes. This book is also pretty short, but it feels like a relatively complete coverage of a section of American folklore.

98. A Short History of Drunkenness by Mark Forsyth. Noticing a pattern? I was sick, so books that required a lot of attention span were off the table. This is a social history of drinking more than it is of alcohol, being a look at various places drinks were served, the culture of who drank, when and how, and what the rest of your evening might be like. It covers some similar ground to Girly Drinks with stuff like the prevalence of female gods of alcohol, and how the Greek symposium was a men-only affair. The book also discusses cultures where drink was socially disapproved of but still present, like the Caliphates, and cultures where drink is integrated into the fabric of the government, like imperial and Stalinist Russia.

99. The Story of Trees and how they changed the way we live by Kevin Hobbs and David West, illustrated by Thibaud Hérem. Similarly to Remarkable Trees, this book looks at trees one species at a time, and discusses their impacts on human culture as well as their biology. What sets this book apart is the consistency; 100 trees, each with an original illustration, that showcase the whole of the tree (bark, leaves, color, outline) like a spotter’s guide. This book is lovely, and well formatted. The arrangement of trees is roughly chronological, so woods used by prehistoric people are clumped towards the beginning and trees that have particular relevance to the 21st century are towards the back. The book does cheat a little in order to have a dry sense of humor, for example placing cinchona and juniper back to back to make a nice gin and tonic. The book is also very British. One pleasant surprise was seeing my alma mater recommended as a place to see trees compared to a global stage. I knew instinctively that UC Davis has a nice arboretum, but I always thought of it more as “walking path to get to the office” rather than “major botanical institution”.

100. Spiders: The Ultimate Predators by Stephen Dalton. This is kind of the book I was hoping Strange Sea Creatures would be; a wildlife photography book that still has a decent amount of biological information. The photos are truly spectacular—Dalton was a pioneer of photographing insects back in the 1970s, and this book was a project in part for him to tackle his arachnophobia head on. The spiders are organized by hunting style rather than by phylogenetic placement, which helps keep the book from feeling dated (it’s from 2008, and spider taxonomy has already undergone some radical revisions in the past decade-and-a-half). There’s also a chapter about advice for photographing small, skittish subjects, a lot to do with lighting and shutter speeds, which went mostly over my head but would probably be useful for people with more experience.

#reading log #spider #arachnology #social history #alcohol #botany #horticulture #trees #momo #cryptozoology #paranormal #abyssal fish #abyssal life #marine biology

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meanstreetspodcasts · 3 years

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Tired of the everyday grind?

Escape is often considered a “sister series” to CBS’ Suspense, but where “radio’s outstanding theater of thrills” had sponsorship dollars to attract the biggest names in Hollywood, Escape was a sustaining series without a sponsor. Since it couldn’t rely on the likes of Cary Grant and Gregory Peck, Escape made great use of the stable of Hollywood radio players (Stacy Harris, John Dehner, Virginia Gregg, Betty Lou Gerson, Parley Baer, Frank Lovejoy, and more). Radio legends William Conrad and Paul Frees were regularly heard in dramatic roles, and - as “the voice of Escape” - they also lent their voices to the ominous opening lines of each week’s show. Occasionally the show landed a big name and made the most of it. The best example of this may be Vincent Price starring in the chilling tale of ravenous rats “Three Skeleton Key.”

For much of the run, Escape was produced and directed by Norman Macdonnell, the man behind The Adventures of Philip Marlowe and Gunsmoke. Also at the helm was William N. Robson, who would go on to run Suspense in the late 1950s.

In honor of the anniversary of its July 7, 1947 premiere broadcast, here are some of my favorite episodes of Escape - examples of its variety of stories and why it still holds up as a taut, exciting adventure series so many years later.

“The Most Dangerous Game” - Richard Connell’s short story of a deranged hunter who preys on men has been filmed and retold many times over the years, including several radio adaptations. This version casts two radio legends and iconic voices. Paul Frees is the narrator and quarry of Hans Conried’s legendary - but bored - hunter and pits one man against the other in a deadly exotic jungle. (Originally aired on CBS on October 1, 1947)

“An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” - Another classic short story, this one by Ambrose Bierce, gets a memorable adaptation courtesy of Escape. A Confederate sympathizer tries to sabotage a bridge and ends up at the end of a Union noose. A twist of fate gives him a chance to escape…or does it? There are some problematic racial portrayals (a scene where the protagonist meets one of his slaves is particularly rough), but overall this is a great show with a cast of some of radio’s best voices - Harry Bartell, Bill Johnstone, William Conrad, and Frank Lovejoy. (Originally aired on CBS on December 10, 1947)

“Leiningen vs. the Ants” - A South American plantation owner refuses to run when an army of ravenous ants descends upon his homestead. The great William Conrad shines as the titular Leiningen - a man supremely confident in his dominance over nature. Lou Merrill is the government official who tries to persuade Leiningen to leave and later decides to stay and watch this titanic battle unfold. It’s a great example of the power of radio - the horde of ants comes to vivid life with only the narration and sound patterns. (Originally aired on CBS on January 14, 1948)

“Red Wine” - Jeff Chandler stars as a detective who travels to Borneo in search of a murderer. He finds several possible suspects working on a rubber plantation, and he’ll have to get creative to unmask the killer. (Originally aired on CBS on February 26, 1949)

“A Shipment of Mute Fate” - The passengers and crew of an ocean liner at sea have no place to hide when a deadly poisonous snake escapes from its case and stalks the ship. This classic thriller was performed several times on Escape; all of the versions are worth a listen, but this one features John Lund - a rare example of a big name starring in the show. (Originally aired on CBS on March 13, 1949)

“Three Skeleton Key” - One of the scariest old time radio dramas of all time, “Three Skeleton Key” features amazing performances and sound effects that will make your skin crawl. Vincent Price stars as a lighthouse keeper on a remote island. The daily bored existence of Price and his comrades is shattered when a derelict ship runs around and its passengers - thousands of carnivorous and very hungry rats - emerge with an appetite. Wine corks against glass create the illusion of gnawing rats, and your imagination does the rest to keep you on the edge of your seat. (Originally aired on CBS on March 17, 1950)

“The Time Machine” - H.G. Wells’ science fiction classic follows an inventor and his friend as they take a jaunt 100,000 years into the future. John Dehner and Larry Dobkin star in this adventure through time itself. (Originally aired on CBS on October 22, 1950)

“Earth Abides” - This two-part drama is hailed by many as the best story Escape ever produced. Adapted from George Stewart’s novel of the same name, it’s the story of a post-apocalyptic world following the outbreak of a deadly plague. Stephen King cited the story as an inspiration for his own post-apocalyptic epic The Stand. (Part One originally aired on CBS on November 5, 1950; Part 2 originally aired on CBS on November 12, 1950)

“Wild Jack Rhett” - John Meston adapted Ernest Haycox’s story of the old west, and it wound up being a test run for Gunsmoke for Meston and director Norman Macdonnell. John Dehner stars as an infamous gunfighter and “town tamer” hired to clean up the town of Red Mesa after its sheriff is gunned down. It’s an atmospheric adult western with great performances, and its influence can be felt on Gunsmoke which would launch less than two years later. (Originally aired on CBS on December 17, 1950)

“The Abominable Snowman” - William Conrad stars in this tale of adventurers who climb into the Himalayas to hunt for the legendary yeti. It’s a chilling (no pun intended) story as the men fight to survive in the snow and the hellish storm - never knowing for sure if they’re being stalked by their monstrous quarry. (Originally aired on CBS on September 13, 1953)

Check out this episode!

#suspense #old time radio #golden age of radio

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watching-pictures-move · 3 years

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Put On Your Raincoats #25 | Throat... 12 Years After (Damiano, 1984)

This review contains mild spoilers.

By the '80s, the nexus of porn filmmaking had shifted from New York to California, the sunny, warm weather vibes of the latter having replaced the grittier urban realities of the former. So when Throat... 12 Years After opens with images of New York City, it feels something like a statement. This isn't going to be one of your trifles from the west coast. This is a real movie, about real people, dealing with real emotions. One of these real emotions is guilt, like what George Payne feels about cheating on his wife and visiting a hooker as he argues with his conscience on his drive home. ("There's something between nine-to-five and meatloaf," he tells himself.) Now, this conversation is played softly for laughs, but the movie does stack the deck in favour of one side by casting Sharon Mitchell as the bubblegum-chewing prostitute. In a room bathed in a pulsating red light that waxes and wanes in brightness, Mitchell asks him about his sex life as they prepare to do the deed.

"You ever done anything kinky?"

"One time the wife kept the slippers on."

As the scene progresses, Mitchell recounts a schoolyard sexual encounter, and the movie proceeds to cut between her scene with Payne and her flashback with Phil Prince regular Dan Stephens (one of the more presentable male performers in that director's stock company), and you can see how the movie navigates the differences in erotic qualities between the immediacy of the Mitchell/Payne scene and the almost ethereal Mitchell/Stephens scene. But as much as the actual sex, the scene's interest lies in the before and after, the characters trying to wring meaning from their actions.

The rest of the movie follows this pattern. There's a housewife, who at first is browbeaten by her mother to make some grandkids already ("Cook a nice dinner. Put on something see-through. Kids are what you need.") and later finds solace in the visiting repairman, who sees through her marital troubles. ("People drift apart by inches, day by day, an inch at a time.") The wife is played by Michelle Maren, who doesn't have a whole lot of other credits to her name (Damiano was known for sometimes casting relative unknowns in major roles; the high water mark of this strategy would be the great Georgina Spelvin in The Devil in Miss Jones) yet is quite effective in her role (and has a very distinct hairdo to boot). The repairman is played by Eric Edwards, who I've sometimes found a little bland but happens to be very good at playing nice here, so much so that you don't really hold it against the wife for being unfaithful.

Then there's Sharon Kane, an older woman employing the services of an inexperienced male prostitute played by Jerry Butler. Kane is an experienced patron of such services, providing Butler with very specific instructions for preparing martinis and then chiding him over his inexperience. ("What's with you, you can't listen and suck at the same time? You an actor or something?") It's probably not very nice of Kane to tell Butler to his face that he's not as good as her first (who we see in a flashback), but she also gets through a tricky bit of dialogue while being orally pleasured, so much respect in any case. The climax of the film follows Joey Silvera and Joanna Storm on a trip to an underground sex club. Their cabbie is played by Damiano in one of his cameos (a Camiano? Cameo-no?), delivering a joke about why you can't drink a cold beer after a hot bath. (I won't reveal the punchline, but I did laugh.) Once there, naturally they join the orgy that's in progress, and while such scenes aren't ones I find inherently erotic, this one is well put together for what it is. After having struggled through the interminable, shapeless orgy footage in Jungle Blue, I appreciate that this one, with its mix of stark lighting, unusual angles and acrobatic positions has a pretty distinct impact compared to the previous sex scene. (It's also set to a disco song with embarrassingly graphic lyrics.)

Once all of this is over, the main characters, who we learn are couples and friends, get together, their relationships apparently having been strengthened by their sexual escapades. Their choice of entertainment explains the title, and they all toast ("To practice") as the credits kick in, with flashbacks in splitscreen to the preceding antics. Throat... 12 Years Later was directed by Gerard Damiano, who placed more importance than the average director at the time on the dramatic potency of his films. The tagline explains the mission statement ("A reflection, not a sequel"), which is about reflecting on the acts featured while it's delivering the goods, using its episodic structure to create emotional resonance. Damiano has a certain conservative streak in some of his work, but this is fairly sex positive, arguing that sex strengthens all the characters' relationships, and extends to a defense of the hardcore porn genre, offering an argument that these movies can actually be emotionally rewarding. That it works as well as it does is due to the relative naturalism on display, carried by consistently strong performances and a good ear for dialogue, and the elegant yet varied visual style (cinematography courtesy of Larry Revene), which finds a distinct and potent atmosphere for each of the encounters.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review

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2o2o-kit · 4 years

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An American’s Thoughts on Horrible Histories Songs

Born 2 Rule: Iconic, really set the stage for Horrible Histories, not my favorite George III song though that prize goes to Hamilton, (also I was always taught George III was mad in an angry way)

Wives of Henry VIII: This song walked so Six can run, still iconic

Making a Mummy: Kind of forgettable, but if we are going by the pattern as seen in the first two, I predict the next big history musical will be about making mummies

The Tudors: I don’t know why but I love this song’s intro, but I find the dance moves cringe worthy

Georgian Lady: It’s great when you can read along to it, but Martha is still iconic

I’m a Knight: I love the whole Monty Python inspiration, this always makes me smile, just pure wholesome knight energy, one of my favorite season 1 songs

Caveman Love: It gets better the more you listen to it

It’s Not True: Probably my least favorite Horrible Histories song, still better than most songs on the radio

The Plague: The plague was made for musical theatre, besides this check out Spamalot and Something Rotten

British Things: Drags on a bit, but haha Britain, you are not perfect, (but America is far from perfect)

We are Greek: It’s king boring, but lyrics are still pretty clever

Burke and Hare: I’m not a fan of this TBH, maybe it’s because I’m not a huge fan of true crime and stuff like that, it’s not that catchy either

Literally: Nothing like an 80s rock parody, it’s also one of the funniest songs

Charles II: This was the first HH song I listened to and I’m glad, because it’s a banger, and this is probably the closest you will get to a kid friendly Eminem

Spartan Musical: This is so camp and just you have to watch to understand

WWII Girls: Katy Wix needs to be in more songs, I love the costumes in this

George IV: I’m obsessed with this one, Jim’s vocals in this are perfection, definitely one of my favorite of the whole series, I wish I could belt like that

Blackbeard: The acting in this is perfection, I still laugh while watching it

Victorian inventions: I’m not a big fan of this type of music, but it’s still funny

Hieroglyphics: Idk why Mat did a Texas accent, and I’m not sure but it’s not bad, but it’s not as great as the other songs

Cowboys: The accents are good but I could go without all the farts

Boudicca: This is an inspiration

Funky Monks: I’m not a big fan of this one, it’s funny but I wish they had more singing in this, but Terry is great as always

Pachacuti: At first I was bit nervous to watch it because of the brown face, and yes it’s in there and I also thought it would be too cheesy but that’s the point and makes it so much fun, also what’s a northern accent

Dick Turpin: For most people it’s the guyliner that makes this a thirst trap, for me it’s all the tricorn hats 😍. When I first watched this video I recently developed my tricorn fetish and this song was just... The music to this is great too, I listen to this daily. And imagine me learning that this thirst trap’s name is Dick

Monarchs: Iconic, super helpful, now I can name all the English monarchs, thanks

William Wallace: Better than Braveheart, seems like a lot of fun to film

Work! Terrible Work: Hey look theatre reference, this so is definitely not a mood booster, but those sideburns (and I’m not really into sideburns)

Ra ra Cleopatra: Martha is killing it, and I love all the Lady Gaga references

Richard III: Thanks for talking about the horrors of Tudor Propaganda and the lyrics in this are amazing

Evil Emperors: If you claim your bad, don’t make such a catchy song that can easily be confused as another thirst trap, love the parody and Caligula and Nero and some of my favorite HH characters

Suffragettes: This song proved how hard these ladies worked, also I want to sing this song with others, who’s in?

Ain’t Stain Alive: Okay just like Pachacuti, I’m sure this song can’t work today, but it’s great, so catchy and the screams, also the behind the scenes of this is iconic

Age of Stone: I like how it explains the time periods but I’m not really a big fan of how it was presented

English Civil War: The choreography is on point, Lawry needed to be in more songs and I love the song they parodied, it’s Cool from West Side Story

Celtic Boast Battle: I don’t know, I find it a bit too much but the ending is perfection

RAF Pilots: Now I’m not big on war history, epically WWII, but song is perfection, I love the coloring used for this, the music is just awesome, and this along with The Captain from Ghosts and Molly McIntire are proving the WWII is gay

Nature Selection: I’ve been using this phrase a lot during the pandemic,

The Thinkers: Alright, no strong opinions

It’s a New World: A jam, love the shade of how the pilgrims treated the natives, and it’s a great parody altogether, also I need a New New Castle now

Mary Seacole: So catchy I love it, and the dancing is great. I wish they didn’t cut out that one lyric about Florence because that’s important

Victoria and Albert: It’s kind of slow, but I can see why others like it, maybe it’s just because I’m alone

Blue Blooded Blues: I don’t really like Blues music, even though I’ve lived in cities known for their blues, but James Cape™️, GAAAYYYY!!!

The Luddites: Definitely one of my favorites, I love the cinematography, the costumes are my type, and nothing like historical heavy metal, ironic right, and Jim has the vocal range

The Borgia Family: I love everything about this, the music, the accents, costumes, this is better than the Showtime series, wish Ben got a solo in this song though, (also is it just me or do the Borgias remind you of the Trumps expect the Borgias are more like able)

Mary I: It’s okay, Sarah in this is great and it’s a great parody but I always thought of Mary having a deeper voice (I know weird)

William Shakespeare and the Quills: I love Shakespeare, but I’m not a big fan of this type of music, also I low key wish Shakespeare was sexy in this one

Georgian Navy: Please forgive my star spangled ass, but I’m not a fan of the British military during the Georgian era, and yes I know Nelson didn’t really fight in the American Revolution, but I’m not a big fan of war history

Flame: Will get stuck in your head, but who cares it’s an awesome parody, Jesse Owens in amazing, we love Jim’s Nero, and Mat you said you were all nude (I feel cheated)

Death’s Favorite Things: Hilarious, and a mood for me

Rosa Parks: Now Rosa’s story is something we get drilled in our heads in America, which is good, this song is so catchy and I love the costumes, but the ending did say ‘segregation was ended in America,’ but technically...

Vikings and Garfunkel: Aww so peaceful,

Charles Dickens: I love the music on this and the cinematograph, but there is something about it that I’m not a big fan of it, but I’m not sure what

Crassus Minted: A freaking underrated banger, just like the real Crassus

Joan of Arc: I’m sorry but this song is a bit cringe worthy but still way better than the new seasons

Alexander the Great: I mean is there any other song that can truly depict Alex

Owain Glynwr: Wish they had more Welsh history on the show but Tom Jones parody I never knew I needed

Transportation: The dancing in this is amaze, and I’m obsessed with Ben’s accent in this, how is his Midwestern accent better than mine, and I have a Midwestern accent, (stop making me like Henry Ford!) and I love whenever they do musical parodies

Henry VII: This song makes me want to be Henry VII, he made the monarchy great again

Matilda Stephen and Henry: There are more ABBA references in this than a production of Mamma Mia, and it’s brilliant,

Australia: I’m surprised they got away with saying Hellhole in this, but still very catchy, low key wish Thomas sang this in Ghosts

Cousins: It’s silly and I like it

Love Rats: Lyrics make me want to remain single, video is having me crush on actors that are old enough to be my parents

Final: Supersweet, but I can only watch it once because it makes me emotional

#horrible histories #my opinion #history

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etirabys · 5 years

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Stephen King is more readable (in a certain sense) than any writer I know – when I pick up any book he wrote, even if it’s one of his worse books or it doesn’t have a premise that’s interesting to me, within paragraphs I’m hooked enough to want the next few. I always, always want to read the next few paragraphs when I’m in a King novel.

The other notable thing about King’s writing is the gratuitous physical detail – intensely local and dated. He knows or decides what things are called and isn’t shy about listing them. No one ever picks up a paper – they pick up a specific, named paper. No one’s uncle once served in the army – they served in a specific unit in a specific war. One character intro begins with a survey of his medicine cabinet. This is one paragraph out of three, for the three shelves:

On the top shelf there’s Anacin, Excedrin, Excedrin P.M., Contac, Gelusil, Tylenol, and a large blue jar of Vicks, looking like a bit of brooding deep twilight under glass. There is a bottle of Vivarin, a bottle of Serutan (That’s “Nature’s” spelled backwards, the ads on Lawrence Welk used to say when Eddie Kaspbrak was but a wee slip of a lad), and two bottles of Phillips’ Milk of Magnesia—the regular, which tastes like liquid chalk, and the new mint flavor, which tastes like mint-flavored liquid chalk. Here is a large bottle of Rolaids standing chummily close to a large bottle of Tums. The Tums are standing next to a large bottle of orange-flavored Di-Gel tablets. The three of them look like a trio of strange piggy-banks, stuffed with pills instead of dimes.

As a teenager and aspiring writer, reading King this gave me a horrible sense of inadequacy. For god’s sake, how am I supposed to know this stuff? How am I supposed to reference specific ads?– I don’t even listen to ads! King, conversely, strikes me as someone who walks through life very awake to everything, soaking in all the random details of how the world around him worked. And when he sits down to write, he can regurgitate any of this and throw it onto the page with maximalist energy.

Possibly he got very excited about just listing things when he was on cocaine and this novel was written in cocaine era? But I definitely couldn’t list things like this on cocaine! I do not pay attention to the world around me. I don’t know the name of the company whose electricians come to fix things in my house. I don’t know what wood was used to make the legs of my kitchen chairs. I take medicine for an issue and then forget its name. I get from point A to B by train or car or bus, and then I forget what the tracks or roads were called – forget even the pattern that governs their names. I can never make up road names because I doubt that I can model the underlying generator or distribution that names are drawn from. It’s very clear that King does not live life like me:

If, on that night of May 28th, 1985, you had wanted to find the man Time magazine had called “perhaps the most promising young architect in America” (“Urban Energy Conservation and the Young Turks,” Time, October 15, 1984), you would have had to drive west out of Omaha on Interstate 80 to do it. You’d have taken the Swedholm exit and then Highway 81 to downtown Swedholm (of which there isn’t much). There you’d turn off on Highway 92 at Bucky’s Hi-Hat Eat-Em-Up (“Chicken Fried Steak Our Specialty”) and once out in the country again you’d hang a right on Highway 63, which runs straight as a string through the deserted little town of Gatlin and finally into Hemingford Home

Stephen King, how – why – stop that! That’s just too much! I would just say “the guy was in a bar that night”. It’s hard to see what this route description adds to the story, but it’s also clear to me that the underlying tendency that made him add this paragraph is also part of what hooks me in so fast into a King novel. King’s characters are kind of samey – white and sometimes black 20th century Americans whose type he knows well – and fade quickly in my mind once I put down the book, but while I’m in it, they’re so alive and relatable and specific, bursting with the detail of who-they-are, detail that Stephen King seems to effortlessly pour onto the page.

#rambl #eti reads stuff #eti reads it #more notes than usual

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cruger2984 · 3 years

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Haikyuu!! and its Saints

Fly to victory. In celebration of my birthday today, here's our black and orange boys of Karasuno and their corresponding saints!

December 31 - Daichi Sawamura

Pope St. Sylvester I: 33rd bishop of Rome who reigned from 314 to 335 A.D. He filled the see of Rome at an important era in the history of the Western Church, yet very little is known of him. The accounts of his pontificate preserved in the seventh or eighth-century Liber Pontificalis contain little more than a record of the gifts said to have been conferred on the church by Constantine the Great, although it does say that he was the son of a Roman named Rufinus. Large churches were founded and built during Sylvester I's pontificate, including Basilica of St. John Lateran, Basilica of the Holy Cross in Jerusalem, Old St. Peter's Basilica and several churches built over the graves of martyrs. Legend has it that Sylvester is slaying a dragon, hence he is often depicted with the dying beast.

June 13 - Koshi Sugawara

St. Anthony of Padua: Franciscan Portuguese friar and priest who is noted by his contemporaries for his powerful preaching, expert knowledge of scripture, and undying love and devotion to the poor and the sick, he was one of the most quickly canonized saints in church history. Although he is known as the patron of lost items, his major shrine can be found in Padua, Italy. In January 1946, he is proclaimed a Doctor of the Church by Pope Pius XII, and is given the title of Doctor Evangelicus (Evangelical Doctor).

January 1 - Asahi Azumane

Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God: One of the most important Marian feasts days to start the New Year. It is to honor the Blessed Virgin Mary under the aspect of her motherhood of Jesus Christ, whom Christians see as the Lord, Son of God, and it is celebrated by the Latin Rite of the Catholic Church on 1 January, the Octave (8th) day of Christmastide.

October 10 - Yu Nishinoya

St. Cerbonius: Populonian bishop who lived in the time of the Barbarian invasion. Gregory the Great praises him in Book XI of his Dialogues. Another tradition states that Cerbonius was a native of North Africa who was the son of Christian parents. Ordained a priest by Regulus, though not the same one as in the Scottish Legend. One of the saint’s attributes was a bear licking his feet, because during Totila’s invasion of Tuscany, he was ordered to be killed by a wild bear, the bear remained petrified before him. It stood on two legs and opened its jaws wide. Then, it fell back on its paws and licked the feet of the saint.

March 3 - Ryunosuke Tanaka

St. Katharine Drexel: American philanthropist, religious sister, educator, heiress, and foundress of the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament, as well as Xavier University of Louisiana, the only historically black Catholic college in the country. She might be the second canonized saint to have been born in the United States and the first to have been born a U.S. citizen, she is the patron of philanthropists and racial justice.

December 26 - Chikara Ennoshita

St. Stephen: Dubbed as the first Christian martyr, and his appearance can be found in the Acts of the Apostles. He is a deacon in the early church at Jerusalem who aroused the enmity of members of various synagogues by his teachings. Accused of blasphemy at his trial, he made a long speech denouncing the Jewish authorities who were sitting in judgment on him and was then stoned to death, in which Saul of Tarsus was a witness to see him died before his conversion in Damascus.

February 15 - Hisashi Kinoshita

St. Claude de La Colombière: 17th century French Jesuit priest who assisted St. Margaret Mary Alacoque in establishing the devotion to the Sacred Heart. He was her confessor, and his writings and testimony helped to validate her mystical visions and elevated the Sacred Heart as an important feature of Roman Catholic devotion. He was appointed court preacher to Mary of Modena, who had become duchess of York by marriage with the future King James II of England, and he took up his residence in St. James's Palace in London. Falsely accused by a former protégé of complicity in Titus Oates's 'popish plot,' he was imprisoned for five weeks and, when released, was obliged to return to France, where he died an invalid under the care of Margaret Mary. Canonized by Pope St. John Paul II on the Feast of the Visitation in 1992, his major shrine can be found in Paray-le-Monial.

August 17 - Kazuhito Narita

St. Hyacinth of Poland: 13th century Polish Dominican priest and missionary who worked to reform women's monasteries in his native Poland, and was a Doctor of Sacred Studies, educated in Paris and Bologna, and is known for the monicker, 'Apostle of the North.' One of the major miracles attributed to Hyacinth came about during a Mongol attack on Kiev. As the friars prepared to flee the invading forces, Hyacinth went to save the ciborium containing the Blessed Sacrament from the tabernacle in the monastery chapel, when he heard the voice of Mary, the mother of Jesus, asking him to take her, too. He lifted the large, stone statue of Mary, as well as the ciborium. He was easily able to carry both, despite the fact that the statue weighed far more than he could normally lift. Thus he saved them both. His tomb is in the Basilica of Holy Trinity in Krakow, Poland, in a chapel that bears his name. Hyacinth is the patron saint of those in danger of drowning.

December 22 - Tobio Kageyama

St. Ernan, Son of Eogan: He was a nephew of St. Columba. His monastery in Ireland was at Druim-Tomma in the district of Drumhome, County Donegal. He is venerated as the patron saint of Killernan, though he may not have visited Scotland and also as patron of the parish of Drumhome, where a school has been dedicated to him. His commemoration is assigned to the 21st and 22nd of December according to the Scottish Kalendars.

June 21 - Shoyo Hinata

St. Aloysius Gonzaga: Italian confessor from the Jesuit order. Born into the noble Gonzaga clan in 1568, and in order to satisfy his father's ambitions, he was trained in the art of war and was obliged to attend royal banquets and military parades. Not with standing his father's furious opposition, Aloysius renounced his inheritance and join the Jesuits in Rome. While still a student at the Roman College, he died as a result of caring for the victims of a serious epidemic. Canonized on New Year’s Eve in 1726 by Pope Benedict XIII, he is the patron saint of the Christian youth, Jesuit scholastics, the blind, AIDS patients, AIDS care-givers.

September 27 - Kei Tsukishima

St. Vincent de Paul: 17th century French priest who is the founder of the Congregation of the Mission (the Vincentians) for preaching missions to the peasantry and for educating and training a pastoral clergy. The patron saint of charitable societies, he is primarily recognized for his charity and compassion for the poor, though he is also known for his reform of the clergy and for his early role in opposing Jansenism. With St. Louise de Marillac, he co-founded the Daughters of Charity (Daughters of Charity of St. Vincent de Paul) in 1633. The association was patterned after the Confraternities of Charity and was the first noncloistered religious institute of women devoted to active charitable works. Canonized as a saint by Pope Clement XII in 1737, his major shrine can be found in Rue de Sèvres in Paris.

November 10 - Tadashi Yamaguchi

St. Leo the Great (Pope St. Leo I): 45th bishop of Rome who reigned from 440 to 461 A.D. His pontificate - which saw the disintegration of the Roman Empire in the West and the formation in the East of theological differences that were to split Christendom—was devoted to safeguarding orthodoxy and to securing the unity of the Western church under papal supremacy. He is perhaps best known for having met Attila the Hun in 452 and allegedly persuaded him to turn back from his invasion of Italy. Leo is mostly remembered theologically for issuing the Tome of Leo, a document which was a major foundation to the debates of the Ecumenical Council of Chalcedon. Pope Benedict XIV proclaimed Leo I a Doctor of the Church in 1754, next to one other pope, St. Gregory the Great.

#random stuff #catholic #catholic saints #haikyuu!!#karasuno high school #daichi sawamura #koshi sugawara #asahi azumane #yu nishinoya #ryunosuke tanaka #chikara ennoshita #hisashi kinoshita #kazuhito narita #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #kei tsukishima #tadashi yamaguchi

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headoverhiddles · 5 years

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Killing Strangers - Marilyn Manson x Reader AU [Smut]

Synopsis: Your boyfriend is a dangerous man, with secretive toys, a secretive past, and skeletons in his closet. But what will you do when he’s not around to protect you?

P1/? I may continue this on ao3.

Notes: Undercover Agent/Assassin Manson AU!! I couldn’t get this plot bunny out of my head, so here you go. This is me procrastinating on all my other planned MM fics. Enjoy! (Kill4Me, Killing Strangers, and Gangster by Kehlani are great songs to cycle while reading this)

It’s midnight in Stuttgart, Germany.

You spread out on the chaise lounge, your dress riding up to your knee as you rest your head in your arms and watch the lights of the city blink. It’s beautiful here.

Your boyfriend is an assassin working for a non-government branch, and has got three different places, in different spots. The first one is a penthouse in New York City, upper Manhattan. The second is, as he likes to call it, ‘homebase’, in Los Angeles, a hilltop mansion with bulletproof gates. He’s been spending the most time here in the German penthouse lately, having left behind much of his work in LA.

You rise from the chaise, dress brushing the floor as you walk over to the bookcase. He’s got a single photograph connecting him to anything he’s done in the past, and it’s a photo of him ten years ago, and five other men, all dressed in black suits.

That had been the dream team: The Antichrist Syndicate. It had started with his partner Jeordie, codename Twiggy, who used to run with Manson in the early days of the business. Then Kenneth, codename Ginger, John, codename 5, Stephen, codename Pogo, Skold, codename Arctic Wolf, and finally, your boyfriend: Brian Warner, codename Manson, the Pale Emperor. They had all worked for an international organization for undercover peacekeeping, called Interscope, under a philanthropist named Trent. They did good, keeping secrets, taking out high profile people. Trent ran a tight business, no loose ends. Then after Mission Grotesque, a particularly bloody affair in Berlin, they parted ways.

5 left first, then Pogo, then Skold, and finally Ginger decided it was time to leave as well. Ginger and 5 had teamed up again in some kind of partnership somewhere across the world in Romania, Pogo had left the life for good (and had probably gotten killed for it by now), nobody really knew what happened to Twiggy, and Skold had gone rogue, become a ghost, a gun for hire.

Manson would have done the same, if becoming a lone wolf wasn’t so unreliable. He liked the benefits he got from working under contract, which meant he could provide for you, keep you safe, keep you under protection when he wasn’t around to look after you. The Loma Vista organization under Bates paid him good, and made it clear that you and he would both be untraceable.

You adjust the framed photograph, dusting it off with your fingertips. Manson played it like he didn’t give a shit about anything or any of those ‘backstabbing assholes’, but you could read him well enough to know he missed those days sometimes.

You walk over to the bar in the penthouse, pouring yourself another cosmo. You had been a bartender before Manson had picked you up in that club three years ago, so you knew how to mix a good one. You run your fingers down your neck to your diamond dagger-shaped necklace, smiling. It felt good knowing how much he cared for you. The danger of his job was all worth it—you would kill for him, and he would do the same.

You walk back over to the window, and sigh. The cars passing below look like small fairy lights, dancing in the blur of the night, and your eyes in the glass reflection mirror the stars.

Suddenly, all the lights go out. You swish your drink, letting the lit up city illuminate its path up to your lips.

"There's an intruder in the house," you remark dryly, "Whatever will I do?"

"Beg for mercy," Manson's voice growls behind you, and fingers wrap around the back of your neck. You take another sip of your pink drink, blinking your eyelashes.

"You gonna choke me, daddy?"

He hums, vibrations rumbling against your back. "I've gotten too used to having you around. I’d probably go crazy without you." Instead of choking you as some lethal assailant in the night may have, he begins massaging you instead. "You haven't been relaxing. You're stiff, sweetheart." You reach back, hand finding his crotch.

"And you're not." You turn around, looking up at him teasingly. "That's a problem." He turns the lights back on, smirking as the shoulders of your dress fall down your back.

"We won’t have to worry about that for long." He walks over to fix himself a drink, undoing his top two buttons to reveal the tattoos on his chest. "What’d you do today, babygirl?"

"Made sure nobody broke in and killed me," you smile sweetly, sauntering by him. You hum, and look at his gun cabinet as you pass it. "That gets me wondering..."

"Mm," he mumbles, half listening as he downs his glass of vodka and pours himself another. You watch him, biting your lip. His black shards of hair are in his eyes, and his cuff links have the slightest trace of dried blood on them. It makes you wet imagining how it got there.

Turning to the cabinet your curiosity had brought you to, you unlatch it, and take a small gun out. You make sure to attach the silencer, as you’d seen Manson do a million times, and close the cabinet door softly. Walking back over to the living room, you stand across from the west wall.

Looking around, you aim at a plate on the shelf across the room, and pull the trigger. It instead blows a hole through a copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales, and Manson looks up from where he’s cutting lines.

“Mind telling me why you’re shooting up the place?”

“I’m practicing,” you shush him, getting up and inspecting the smoking bullet hole, “What am I going to do when you’re away one day and some thug comes in, trying to kidnap me to get to you?” He stares at you through dark eyes, taking a sip of his vodka. You go on. “Picture it. Bates sends you off to Hong Kong to kill some arms dealer who wouldn’t pay. I’m here... all alone... dressed like I am...” You inch your dress up your leg, and his eyes dart down, following the hike of your skirt.

“So, you wanna protect yourself with a gun?” he muses, using a rolled up hundred to snort his lines. “How patriotic.”

“Fuck off.” You lick your matte red lips. “If you get to play with guns, so should I.”

A smug smirk dances on his lips as he admires your form. At least your breasts are being pushed together nicely the way you’re holding that pistol. “Uh huh. Have some of this.”

“I’m busy.”

He walks over to the couch, and sits behind you with his drink, watching. “Okay. Try again.”

You look at him, then back at your target: the damn plate.

He settles in, elbows on his knees, and watches your finger stroke the trigger. “Careful, angel. Aim nice and close.” You close one eye, and pull the trigger. Manson cringes as you blow his first edition Alistair Crowley book away.

He gets up, sighing, and sets his drink down. “You wanna learn how to do what I do?” he mumbles in your ear. He presses his weight up against you from behind, and wraps his arms around you, rolling up his sleeves. His hand encompasses yours, tattooed fingers making sure your grip is right. “Here’s what I do.” He jerks your arm, shooting the plate. Then he shoots a cross pattern into the wall behind it, with four bullet holes, and strokes his hand down your hip. You moan gently, and he pauses. “Oh. You like that?”

“Mhm,” you nod, and he brushes your hair aside, holding your shoulder.

“Your turn.” You aim, and he holds your hand again, steady. “Shoot,” he whispers, pointing just past you, “Here. And the world’ll get smaller, sweetheart.”

His voice is like sandpaper honeyed over. You lean back into him, and his hand finds your breast, massaging it as you try to aim. You give up a few seconds later, and he guides the gun down between your breasts, down your stomach, and slides your dress up your thigh.

“Please,” you whisper, and he dips the barrel of the gun into your black lace panties.

“I fucking wanted you all week,” he growls in your ear, “It killed me being away from you.”

“You could’ve called me.”

He drags the gun up and down. “I don’t have enough burner phones for how many times I had to jack off thinking of you.”

You shiver, reaching back to palm him. He’s half hard in his pants, and you want more. “What did you think of?”

“You, putting on a little show for me. Those gorgeous eyes, staring up at me like I’m the world while you suck my cock like it’s all you live for.”

“Oh,” you breathe, and he massages your other breast, starting to move the gun against your clit.

“You look good holding a gun, babygirl. Aim and show daddy just how good you are.” He gives you the gun, but you drop it and press your lips to his. He walks you back into the floor to ceiling glass windows, and tears your dress, letting it fall around your ankles.

“I liked that dress,” you pout.

“Fuck the dress,” he mutters, and turns you around so you’re facing the building opposite you. You’re only in black pantyhose and a black push up bra, otherwise exposed. He sinks his teeth into your shoulder, his grill making the mark even more pronounced, and you purr, grinding back against him. He grinds his cock into your ass for a moment, just reveling in the sound of your soft moans growing in volume.

He finally pulls your panties down, and positions himself, slowly sinking into you. You gasp, palms splaying out over the window. He grunts once he’s all the way in, then starts up a pace. You grind back into every thrust, and he holds you around your middle, slapping your ass with his hips every time he pounds in.

“You know, if someone broke in, you could just fuck them to distract them until I got back. Your pussy could send a man to an early grave.”

Angrily, you shove back against the window so that both of you fall to the floor, and you get back on top of him. He holds your hips, mouth falling open and head falling back as you start to ride him hard into the floor.

“Babyg... ah, ah... ah...”

“You like that?” you circle your hips, slamming down, “Huh? Mister tough hitman, scary pale emperor, thinks I can’t protect myself. You like feeling my wet little cunt around you? Guess who’s on top of who?!”

“Fuck,” he groans, and you put your forearms on either side of his head, dragging your breasts up over his face.

“I’m close,” you whisper, “Oh god.” He holds you tighter, reaching up your ribcage to grope your breasts and suck your nipples.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Cum on my fucking cock,” he sneers, “Do it, I know you want it.”

“Manson,” you moan, and he rocks you through your orgasm from beneath. When he knows you’re done, he flips you over, roughly pounding into you a few times before his hips stutter and he swears again, finishing inside you.

He catches his breath, and kisses your forehead, rolling over beside you. His hair is messed up, eyeshadow smudged over half-lidded eyes.

“I’m sorry about the dress, babygirl. I’ll buy you a new one. Pretty one, just like that one, hm?”

“Thank you,” you whisper, crossing your leg with his. He holds onto your leg, chest rising and falling. You two finally rise, and you pull your panties up, so your lingerie set is at least complete to walk around in.

“Now. About this gun thing.” He runs his hand through his hair, and picks it up. “Why don’t we practice on something useful?”

He points out the window at the neighbour he absolutely despises. The guy has his Christmas tree decked out in LED blinking lights that never seem to go out, and while the building across from you seems like it’s miles away, it hasn’t stopped irking either of you.

“Kill Griswold over there.”

“I can’t kill him!”

“Your aim is fine.”

“I bet you I can’t.”

“I bet you can, and whoever is wrong has to give the other person... four straight hours of oral sex.”

You sigh, and aim the gun. “What about the windows, genius?” His hands find your hips, and he holds his hands together in front of you, resting his forearms on your curves. He lays his head in the nape of your neck, watching with you.

“We’ll replace them tomorrow, with your dress.”

“You think it’s smart to leave the penthouse of a contract killer wide open all night?”

“If anybody comes to get us, I know who’s gonna protect me.” He nudges you with his head. “Shoot the motherfucker.”

You pull the trigger, and hit the poor guy’s power box. His tree goes up in flames, and you stifle a laugh. You two watch as he comes storming into his living room, and looks over, trying to find who did it in a sea of tiny apartment lights. He finally looks all the way up at you two. Manson waves, grinning, and you blow him a kiss.

“My nasty little femme fatale,” he mumbles into your neck. He saunters over to the chaise, sitting back, and you sit on his lap, slinging your legs sideways over his.

“When’s your next job?” you ask, taking a sip from his tumbler of vodka. He plays with a lock of your hair.

“Next month. Contract in Berlin.”

Berlin. That’s... “That’s not far,” you murmur, mouthing kisses along the corner of his mouth, playing with the last few done up buttons above his navel. You trace the long upside down cross he’s got tattooed there.

“Mmm,” Manson agrees, fondly stroking up and down your arms. “I think we should get a cat. We can pawn it off on Bates when we leave.” He idly looks back at the picture frame on the shelf, staring for longer than usual. You follow his line of sight, and try to think of the best way to say it.

“Maybe... he doesn’t want to be found, babe.” Manson looks back to you.

“Good. I hope the fucker stays lost.”

Snuggling into him on the couch, listening to the late night Stuttgart traffic from the open air where your window used to be, you feel his heartbeat pick up a little. No matter how much he tried to deny it, the mystery was weighing on him.

After Mission Grotesque, where had his old partner disappeared to?

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thesportssoundoff · 4 years

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Lists ‘N Stuff: The Top 10 UFC WWs from 2010 to 2019

I like lists! It’s my thing these days I guess. I started doing this particular list because my attempt at creating the top 10 boxing welterweights of the 2000s was pretty much DOA given how most of the guys you’d expect (Cotto, Mayweather, Pacquaio, Mosley) all jumped around weight classes so frequently in that era that I’d either be left removing Floyd (who fought thrice at the weight) or Pacquaio (twice) or trying to justify how Carlos Quintana and Louis Collazo were actually really genuinely top 10 welterweights. I figured I could extend that to just 140 and 147 lbs but at that point I gave up. Instead let’s jump sports and go right to MMA which I’ve been chronologically bullshitting about on here since 2012. Just HOW good was the UFC’s welterweight division from 2010 to 2019? Well let’s do the hard work!

Couple of caveats here:

-This is strictly based upon 1) your fights at WW only and 2) your fights ONLY in the UFC. Guys who were fighting outside the organization don’t have those fights count against your record.

-There’s a FIVE fight minimum to be eligible. This is primarily due to not wanting to have to deal with “What about Conor/Nate/Nick?!” questions.

-Unless a fighter actually popped positive on a drug test, I did not try to dock anybody who I suspected of being on PEDs. We know the UFC was the wild wild west for most of this era so rather than be the equivalent of the guy who swears RDA is on steroids because “Well he started winning then he lost!”, I stuck to the facts.

Honorable Mentions:

Colby Covington- As much as we all may dislike Covington for what he does and says, the fact of the matter is that Colby Covington is a genuinely good welterweight. Wins over Robbie Lawler, Demian Maia and Rafael Dos Anjos are his two big punctuation marks but this is also a guy who gave Kamaru Usman hell for an extended period in their title fight and holds a bevy of solid under the radar wins over the likes of Max Griffin and Dong Hyun Kim. I could see somebody putting Covington on their top 10 and I wouldn't begrudge them at all. I just couldn't cross that bridge on my end.

Rafael Dos Anjos- RDA is probably a top 10 all time lightweight and one of the greatest fighters of the 2010s but I still think I prefer RDA's dominance as a lightweight. As a welterweight he got off to a tremendously hot start in the weight class punctuated by a win over Robbie Lawler but from then on? It's been a pretty dry run. Since the Lawler fight, RDA is 1-4 and the pattern is pretty much out there. If you pressure him early and prevent him from getting a good feel for the space and pace of the fight, he's a pretty easy touch. He's gritty and durable but he basically exists now to test if you're ready for the big step up. I'm not a big fan of the gatekeeper label for dudes like RDA so I prefer the term mini boss. He's the guy who checks to see if you're ready for the big boss.

Leon Edwards- Leon Edwards is 10-2 and coming off a career defining win over RDA and yet he's not in the top 10? Against fighters who have better records than him?! To begin with, Edwards has a looot of dead air on his resume. We're talking about guys who weren't even relevant at the time of their fight. A green Vicente Luque and Bryan Barberena were his good wins but not exactly top 10 worthy, especially given the UFC roster bloat. There's also only one guy on the top 10 list who did NOT get at least an interim title shot and that guy beat him up in a backstage fight so it's not like I could squeeze him in. I also have to admit (unfortunately) that Edwards is sort of a dull fighter who tends to get overlooked on lists like this.

Jake Shields- I don't think there's anything wrong with Jake Shields sneaking onto this list. Shields' run as a welterweight in the UFC was a 4-3 jaunt (that felt like the 100 year war) with wins over some damn good fighters but mostly in close contested score card-y fights. On paper though wins over Woodley and Maia SHOULD get you into the top 10 though so again, if he's on yours then fine. No shame in losses to Hector Lombard, GSP and Ellenberger.

Jake Ellenberger- If you remove the last five fights of his career when he was just sort of being trudged out there because “He hit hard so he can always win a fight!”, Jake Ellenberger has a spiffy record of 9-6 with wins over the likes of Jake Shields, Josh Koscheck and a not exactly cooked Diego Sanchez while his losses are to the likes of Rory Mac, Robbie Lawler, Wonderboy and the generally underrated Martin Kampmann. Not a top 10 for the decade even at that point but the rise of the elite four in Colby, Masvidal, Usman and Woodley and him continually getting fights over and over and over haven’t been kind to him. Ellenberger, Kampmann and Carlos Condit are the three guys who will always be sort of forgotten by modern fans who deserve their just due.

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1- Georges St. Pierre Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 6-0 Record in title fights- 6-0 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-0

So in hindsight, GSP's resume is not exactly all that hot. Dan Hardy, Jake Shields and Josh Koscheck all pretty much faded out of relevancy shortly after their title fights although GSP probably ended Koscheck's career. GSP's record is a mere 6-0 and he pretty much sat out the Woodley/Lawler/Hendricks era of MMA minus a cameo to claim the UFC's middleweight crown. Ignore that part of his resume and instead remember that GSP tore his ACL on TWO separate occasions and there were genuine questions about his ability to come back and fight. Not only did he come back but he came back with basically the same style that made him a legend slightly tweaked and amplified to overcome his lack of explosiveness. GSP will always be viewed differently because he didn't finish fights but again, he was pretty much cooked physically well into his early 30s due to repeated knee injuries. What's more? GSP should be #1 overall if only because he is one of the few guys in MMA who was able to continually dictate his own terms. He was able to pick who he fought because for years he fought EVERYBODY there was to fight. He was able to choose where he fought because he was the UFC's biggest draw before the rise of Conor McGregor. He beat Hendricks in a close fight, realized his health took priority and retired. He started a media war with the UFC and won that too. Then he returns, coaxes the UFC into giving him a middleweight title fight, wins that and then realizes that he doesn't have to fight anymore against what was at the time a rising crop of genuinely bad ass middleweight contenders like Robert Whittaker, Yoel Romero and the likes of Weidman, Jacare, Gastelum, Rockhold and so on so forth. GSP got in, got titles, got paid and then got out when the situation didn't seem right to him. That's #1 shit.

2- Tyron Woodley Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 9-3-1 Record in title fights- 4-1-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 4-2-1

To quote the always esteemed "Tyron Woodley is just going to continue to piss people off." Woodley's UFC reign began with him bombing out Jay Heiron on short notice and then he followed that up by smelting Jay Heiron and then sort of stumbled over his feet to the tune of a 2-2 record. After his loss to Rory MacDonald in June of 2014, Woodley went on one of the welterweight divisions more impressive tears with wins over Dong Hyun Kim, Robbie Lawler, Stephen Thompson and Darren Till to name a few. Woodley's fights were either really great (Thompson I, Till) or really awful (Thompson II, Gastelum) with very little in between space. His 4-1-1 record in title fights and 4-2-1 record against competition on this ledger paint the picture of one of MMA's best neutralizers and one of the greatest resumes of the 2010s. Woodley's 2019 pretty much hit the skids as he lost to Kamaru Usman in a blow out and then pretty much disappeared with hand and shoulder issues. Woodley's probably approaching the back 9 of his career but I would be stunned if he wasn't in the top 3 welterweights all time even when the NEXT decade ended. All hail MMA's greatest nuisance.

3- Robbie Lawler Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 9-5 Record in title fights- 3-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 4-2

I remain a sentimentalist I suppose. The latter days of the Lawler era are painful in large part because years of wars and a style that willingly sacrificed rounds 2 to 4 finally caught up with Robbie Lawler. He just sort of fell apart which isn't too surprising since from December 2013 to Jan 2016 he fought NINE times with FIVE of those fights going a full five rounds. From that period of time Lawler has win over Rory MacDonald (twice), Carlos Condit, Jake Ellenberger, Matt Brown, Johny Hendricks with FOUR fight of the nights and FOUR UFC title fights. Robbie Lawler spoiled us to believe welterweight fights were always awesome because every fight he was in WAS awesome. The latter era of Lawler is pretty sad. Woodley beat IMO the last image of a prime Robbie Lawler but after that I think it's fair to say the fire was gone. He probably deserved to lose to Donald Cerrone as well if we're being honest. The one brief flicker of light was against Ben Asken in a fight I thought he won prior to Askren pulling out a sub in a rally come from behind 1st round "win" dare I say. Lawler has had a lot of injuries, a lot of inactivity (he fought the same number of fights in 2014 alone than he has since the start of 2017) and sometimes the magic just runs out.

4- Kamaru Usman Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 11-0 Record in title fights- 2-0 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-0

Next to Wonderboy vs Rory MacDonald, Lawler vs Usman was a tremendous struggle for me. Kamaru Usman's steadier and had more of a balance to his career. Even if he had slipped up once or twice prior to this, Usman's overall dominance is stupendous. Wins over RDA and a bunch of good welterweights like Leon Edwards, Sergio Moraes and Colby Covington are good enough to get you on the list but getting into the top 5 requires you to scalp Tyron Woodley in a blowout. Usman's here because for most of the early portions of his UFC career, he was borderline brutal to watch and his competition was pretty blegh/eh/meh. Usman's rise really took off in after the Emil Meek fight and the Woodley/Covington back to back performances vaulted him up the rankings big time. The fun part with Usman is seeing how high he'll go when this list is re-done in 2030 or so. By the time we hit 2022 or so, Usman could have wins over Masvidal, Edwards (again), Covington (again) and potentially a whole new banner crop of welters.

5- Stephen Thompson Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 10-4-1 Record in title fights- 0-1-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 3-1-1

If we decided to rank these dudes in order of politeness, Thompson and Maia would be fighting for the #1 spot. Sometimes I wonder if Wonderboy is forgotten when we discuss the best UFC fighters to never win a title. On this list alone, he beat Johny Hendricks, Jorge Masvidal and Rory MacDonald. He gave two tough title fights to Tyron Woodley while holding the title of having arguably the biggest disparity in title fight quality in said title fights. He'll probably never live down getting smelted by a pudgy lightweight in Anthony Pettis and that alone could've been enough to knock him down the charts I suppose. I wonder how the WW division would've changed if Wonderboy arrives in, say, 2010 or so as opposed to 2012. He's just never had the gear to go out and take a tough fight away from the other guy which is why he lost twice to Woodley and suffered that kind of brutal decision loss to Darren Till.

6- Rory MacDonald Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 9-4 Record in title fights- 0-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-4

Rory entered the UFC in 2010 and was gone before 2016 was over. In six years, he has one of MMA's most impressive resumes with a whose who of fights against the elite of the elites. He fought Robbie Lawler twice, Carlos Condit, Demian Maia, Stephen Thompson, BJ Penn, Jake Ellenberger and Tyron Woodley and that's all without looking it up. He'll always be defined by the war vs Robbie Lawler that basically broke him beyond repair. Rory may not be a top 3 WW but of the ten names on this list, he's arguably among the more culturally significant to the MMA landscape. Rory is without question one of the best welterweights of his era and I also think he's one of the few dudes who did it while almost certainly without steroids. My hat is off to him.

7- Demian Maia Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 12-5 Record in title fights- 0-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-3

So when I originally did this list, I had Demian Maia MUCH higher up. Like above Rory higher. Maia being ranked above Rory Mac sounds like a bit of a crock given how MacDonald beat Maia BUT I'm also accounting for long term career relevance in a sense. Maia's still having competitive fights at WW (pause on that Burns fight) and beating up on dudes sometimes 15 years younger than him while Rory is 3-2-1 since leaving the UFC and 3-4-1 since 2015 ended. That said when you factor in the Woodley performances for each guy plus Rory's prime being so magnetic (and the win in the H-2-H matchup, I made a switch). When you consider how utterly one dimension Demian Maia is, it's a testament to how insane that dimension is that he's up this high. Maia has wins over list guys Carlos Condit, Jorge Masvidal and relatively dominant performances over dudes you'd recognize like Ben Askren, Lyman Good, Neil Magny, Gunnar Nelson and then undefeated Ryan LaFlare. His losses are to genuinely legitimately awesome fighters like Rory MacDonald, Kamaru Usman and Tyron Woodley.

8- Johny Hendricks Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 10-6 Record in title fights- 1-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-3

Hendricks is another dude who had an unceremonious ending to his career. From 2011 to 2015, he was genuinely at worst #3 in the welterweight rankings. We're talking a resume loaded with guys like Josh Koscheck, Carlos Condit, Martin Kapmann, John Fitch, Matt Brown, GSP and Robbie Lawler all on the docket. I went back and watched Hendricks vs GSP for this and still come away thinking Johny got jobbed. Hendricks' career will always be filled with question marks and what if's. We'll never know whether he was on steroids and we'll never know what would've happened if Hendricks would've kept himself in shape more consistently to avoid the ballooning up that eventually fucked his body up. We'll never know if he would've beaten GSP in a rematch or how he would've done had the rumored Nick Diaz vs Johny Hendricks fight that was in talks for 2015 (the one which led to Anderson vs Nick Diaz) would've panned out. Hendricks is a what if but the fact he is a what if while also being a top 10 welterweight for a loaded decade of great fighters is a damn testament to how big of a whirlwind he was for the beginning of the decade.

9- Jorge Masvidal Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 7-5 Record in title fights- 0-0 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-2

Jorge Masvidal makes it onto the list primarily due to his run on the back half of the 2010s. Regardless of how you feel about Darren Till, Nate Diaz and Ben Askren, those are three of the most impressive wins of 2019. He was in the running for 2019's FOTY (I believe he WAS my pick) and is having a seriously impressive second half of his career. Even his losses are all in pretty damn close fights minus Wonderboy who just casually pieced him up. The reason he's so low is that the two guys on this list that he fought, he lost to. Masvidal historically has been a guy who can feast on the lower portions of (insert division/rankings here) but when it comes to the step up, he never actually takes the next step in fights he can CLEARLY win. If he ever fights Kamaru Usman, he could move up higher on the list and if he wins then we need to talk about Masvidal as having a Bisping-esque career resume.

10- Carlos Condit Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 6-8 Record in title fights- 1-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-5

If Carlos Condit had simply retired like he planned to after the Maia loss, he would've retired 6-5 with wins over the likes of Rory MacDonald, Nick Diaz and Martin Kampmann from 2010 to 2019. Instead his resume was littered with rough losses in three straight fights against substandard competition. Carlos Condit's run from 2011 to 2013 is stuff of legend but the tide clearly turned after tearing his ACL vs Tyron Woodley. He had one big turning back the clock performance vs Robbie Lawler in a fight I still to this day feel like he won. Condit's body and lack of significant pop in his hands just put the ceiling on his career. Condit's back 9 of the 2010s are ugly but on the front leg, he was the first dude to beat DHK, the first to beat Rory MacDonald, beat Nick Diaz, gave GSP his toughest fight in years and IMO beat Johny Hendricks. Also come on now dudes. If you think Condit wasn't on this list somehow then you don't know me.

#UFC #MMA #Woodley #Condit #Hendricks #Lawler #Shields #MacDonald #Wonderboy #Usman #Masvidal

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 5 years

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Rissa

Red-Legged Kittiwake by the US Fish and Wildlife Service, in the Public Domain

Etymology: The Old Norse Name for the Black-Legged Kittiwake

First Described By: Stephens, 1826

Classification: Dinosauromorpha, Dinosauriformes, Dracohors, Dinosauria, Saurischia, Eusaurischia, Theropoda, Neotheropoda, Averostra, Tetanurae, Orionides, Avetheropoda, Coelurosauria, Tyrannoraptora, Maniraptoromorpha, Maniraptoriformes, Maniraptora, Pennaraptora, Paraves, Eumaniraptora, Averaptora, Avialae, Euavialae, Avebrevicauda, Pygostaylia, Ornithothoraces, Euornithes, Ornithuromorpha, Ornithurae, Neornithes, Neognathae, Neoaves, Aequorlitornithes, Charadriiformes, Lari, Larida, Laridae, Larinae

Referred Species: R. tridactyla (Black-Legged Kittiwake), R. brevirostris (Red-Legged Kittiwake), R. estesi

Status: Extinct - Extant, Vulnerable

Time and Place: Between 4.9 million years ago and today, from the Zanclean of the Pliocene until the Holocene of the Quaternary

The Kittiwake are known from ocean habitats all across the Northern Hemisphere, in both the Pacific and Atlantic oceans

Physical Description: The Kittiwake are large, gulls, ranging between 35 and 42 centimeters in length - the living Black-Legged Kittiwake is usually slightly larger than the Red-Legged Kittiwake. These birds have grey wings and backs, with white bodies and heads and tails. The tips of their tails are black, and they have small yellow beaks. The two species mainly differ how you’d think, based on the names: the Red-Legged species have orange legs, and the Black-Legged species has dark grey legs.

Black-Legged Kittiwake by the US Fish and Wildlife Service, in the Public Domain

Diet: Kittiwake eat fish, squid, and other small marine animals.

Red-Legged Kittiwake by Dick Daniels, CC BY-SA 3.0

Behavior: These bird will feed all throughout the day and night, soaring above the water and searching for sources of food in both deep sea and shoreline locations. Their preferred prey does vary based on location, and the prey they bring back to their young also varies extensively by location. They will also scavenge carcasses found along the shore. They tend to search for food in large flocks, soaring over the water together and finding sources of fish and critters in the water. They communicate with loud calls, for which they are named: “kitt-i-waake! Kitt-i-waake!” and the two species differ in the Red-Legged species having a higher-pitched call.

Black-Legged Kittiwake by Andreas Trepte, CC BY-SA 2.5

Kittiwake breed during the spring, nesting in late spring with most of the young hatching in the middle of the summer. They also tend to breed in similar locations - in the Pacific, where the ranges of the two species overlap, they’ll form large mixed nesting colonies. The nests are built out of mud and formed into cups that are placed on the cliffs. The clutches usually are between one to three eggs, which are incubated for a month. The chicks are very fluffy and grey when hatching, and they stay in the nest for about four weeks. After that, they stay with the parents for a little while after, and are aided in finding food and making it to the winter season. They tend to breed for the first time at four years of age. These birds will migrate between locations - for example, the Red-Legged species will stay near the Bering Sea in winter and then move to Japan in the summer - but these movements tend to be moving back and for the between breeding colonies and the open ocean during the winter non-breeding season. The migration patterns of these birds also tend to change from population to population - which makes some populations of Kittiwake more vulnerable to extinction than others, as they are more exposed to dangerous locations and storms than others.

Red-Legged Kittiwake Chick, by the US Fish and Wildlife Service, in the Public Domain

Ecosystem: These birds live on the coasts of Northern seas, and are often found soaring over the oceans; they tend to favor vertical cliffs on islands and other locations for breeding. They do need to find fresh water, especially in the breeding season; but beyond that they favor pelagic locations. Major storms do cause wrecks onto land. They are preyed upon by other birds, especially Gyrfalcons, Skuas, and other Gulls.

Black-Legged Kittiwake by Dick Daniels, CC BY-SA 3.0

Other: The Kittiwake are, sadly, vulnerable to extinction. Despite large increases in range and population during the 20th century, they have been on a very large-scale decline, especially in the Atlantic. Each species only has a small handful of viable breeding sites at this point, and the population is in sharp decline all over - though some populations have shown some recovery. This decline in population appears to be a reduction in food supply due to excessive commercial fishing. Climate change has also resulted in shifting of prey species, and the changing climate has also lead to habitat inviability for these birds. Diets poor in lipids and other substances - a side effect of these changes - also makes it difficult for the chicks to grow to adulthood. Oil spills and pollution, as well as bycatch, have lead to direct deaths of the Kittiwake across the globe. It also seems to be hunted extensively in certain places such as Greenland. Nesting areas are protected in some countries, but not in the United States, where the decline has been most dramatic.

Red-Legged Kittiwake by Dick Daniels, CC BY-SA 3.0

Species Differences: R. estesi is an extinct genus of this species, and differed from the living species in actually being bigger than the living ones - and having musculature different to match. It lived in the current range of the Black-Legged Kittiwake. Today, the Black-Legged Kittiwake is known from the Northern Pacific and Atlantic, and is larger than the Red-Legged variety; in addition, in the past it was known from northern Greenland. The Red-Legged Kittiwake is known from the northernmost part of the Pacific, and, of course, has different colored legs than its cousin.

Black-Legged Kittiwake by Yathin S. Krishnappa, CC BY-SA 3.0

~ By Meig Dickson

Sources under the Cut

Bennike, O. 1987. Quaternary geology and biology of the Jorgen Bronlund Fjord area, North Greenland. Meddelelser om Gronland. Geoscience 18:1-23

Burger, J., Gochfeld, M., Kirwan, G.M., Christie, D.A., Garcia, E.F.J. & Sharpe, C.J. (2019). Black-legged Kittiwake (Rissa tridactyla). In: del Hoyo, J., Elliott, A., Sargatal, J., Christie, D.A. & de Juana, E. (eds.). Handbook of the Birds of the World Alive.

Burger, J., Gochfeld, M. & Garcia, E.F.J. (2019). Red-legged Kittiwake (Rissa brevirostris). In: del Hoyo, J., Elliott, A., Sargatal, J., Christie, D.A. & de Juana, E. (eds.). Handbook of the Birds of the World Alive. Lynx Edicions, Barcelona.

Chandler, R. M. 1990. Fossil birds of the San Diego Formation, Late Pliocene, Blancan, San Diego County, California. Ornithological Monographs 44:73-161

Clements, J. F., T. S. Schulenberg, M. J. Iliff, D. Roberson, T. A. Fredericks, B. L. Sullivan, and C. L. Wood. 2017. The eBird/Clements checklist of birds of the world: v2017

Guthrie, D. A. 1992. A late Pleistocene avifauna from San Miguel Island, California. Science Series (Los Angeles) 36:319-327

Harrison, C. J. O. 1987. Pleistocene and prehistoric birds of south-west Britain. Proceedings of the University of Bristol Spelaeological Society 18(1):81-104

Jobling, J. A. 2010. The Helm Dictionary of Scientific Bird Names. Christopher Helm Publishing, A&C Black Publishers Ltd, London.

Smith, N. A. 2011. Taxonomic revision and phylogenetic analysis of the flightless Mancallinae (Aves, Pan-Alcidae). ZooKeys 91:1-116

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theyearoftheking · 4 years

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Book Forty-Nine: Black House

“Here is a true American loner, an internal vagrant, a creature of shabby rooms and cheap diners, of aimless journeys resentfully taken, a collector of wounds and injuries lovingly fingered and refingered. Here is a spy with no cause higher than himself.”

After almost fifty books, The Talisman still stands at the top of the leader board as my favorite Steve book. It’s richly layered, full of memorable characters and horrible villains, with a satisfying conclusion. It’s the type of book fantasy and horror lovers alike are eager to escape into.

It’s sometimes hard to embrace the sequel to a book you love so much... I mean, I can be bought, but my criteria are stringent:

Consider setting the book in Wisconsin... perhaps the beautiful, sad, remote, desolate western part of the state right along the Mississippi river.

Maybe a Dahmer reference?

Scratch that. Instead, go with an old-school serial killer no one really talks about anymore. How about... Albert Fish? He’s pretty gross.

On second thought, reconsider a Dahmer reference. Maybe an evil spirit that links Dahmer and Fish together?

TONS of Dark Tower references.

If Steve and Pete were to consider writing a follow up to The Talisman with all these elements, I might consider reading it.

Spoiler!

Dark House contains all this goodness, and more.

It’s so fucking dark, y’all. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to drive past a long-term care facility and NOT think about an old man inside wanting to eat the buttocks of small children.

Oh hey, trigger warnings for cannibalism, and violence against children.

So, Dark House is set in fictional Coulee County, Wisconsin (not a place). But Steve and Pete (I need to start giving Peter Straub some shout outs as well) describe the western part of the state magnificently. Not too long ago I had a sales job that required me to travel the entire state, and I always loved my jaunts west. I’d park right along the Mississippi, eat my lunch and just soak up the isolation. I’d much rather make the drive to Pierce county than the Quad Cities, which my current employer is asking of me. *Silent scream for help*

Despite Coulee being fictional, the actual Wisconsin references are thick:

De Pere (where we recently found out Steve spent a few formative years)

The Brewers

Miller Park

Kingsland Ale- while fictional, it’s a nod to Wisconsin’s rich brewing history, and favorable climate for microbreweries

Dahmer (several times, actually)

Racine. Y’all. I have no idea what Steve’s obsession is with Racine... it comes up in multiple books. It’s really not that great. Take that from someone who spent a brief period of time working there. Honestly, my favorite thing about Racine is the authentic Thai restaurant right in downtown, Sticky Rice. If you find yourself in Racine, please go check them out... their red devil curry is amaze-balls.

So, yes... lots of Wisconsin. Also, lots of Dark Tower:

Eye of the King

Crimson King

The Tower

Red roses

Breakers

Little Sisters

Gunslingers and their weapons

Roland and the ka-tet

Monos! Blaine and Patricia

Chief Breaker Brautigan- who allegedly tells hilarious stories about his escapes. I miss him already.

I have questions about how Steve convinced Pete to include so many Dark Tower elements into this book...

Steve: “Pete, bud... I know you might have a different vision for how this book plays out. Buuut what about if we make it part of the Dark Tower universe?”

Pete: Stares for a long minute. “Um, I thought that series was dead in the water. Do we really need to use Dark House to resuscitate it?”

Steve: “Remember the car accident? You know, the one that almost took my leg?”

Pete *Oh fuck, he’s bringing up the car accident as a bid for sympathy, and to convince me to make this a Dark Tower book...* “Of course I remember!”

Steve: “Well, it shook some things loose. I’m about ready to finish the series. I just thought it might be fun if we make this book a lead-up to the finale”

Pete: “It’s intriguing, but I’m not really sure it’s the direction I want to go in. I was thinking more-”

Steve: “I ALMOST DIED IN THAT ACCIDENT!”

Pete: “Cool, Dark Tower book it is!”

I should write fan fiction. I’ve obviously got a gift.

Black House is told from a birds-eye narration view. Literally... there’s this fat, evil crow named Gorg flying all over town, giving us the lay of Coulee County. Bad stuff has been going on: little children have gone missing, and only a few of their bodies have turned back up mutilated and broken.

The chief of police, Dale Gilbertson, knows he’s in over his head, and keeps trying to convince his pal, retired police detective, Jack “Hollywood” Sawyer to come consult on the case.

Jack isn’t having it. He retired young and moved to Coulee County from Los Angeles after tracking down and arresting serial killer Thorny Kinderling. The majestic beauty of western Wisconsin caught him by surprise, and he happily invested in reasonably priced (read: cheap) real estate with a view.

Upon moving to Wisconsin, Jack befriended Dale’s blind uncle Henry Leydon; who voices several radio programs, including The Wisconsin Rat, which plays indy screamo bands and has plenty of shock-jock antics. The two hang out together, listen to jazz music, and sometimes Jack reads to Henry. Henry was able to use his elevated senses to study Jack’s speech pattern and figure out Jack’s mom was THE Lily Cavanaugh; the Queen of the B’s.

While Jack and Henry are reading Bleak House, Charles “Burny” Burnside is wandering around the Maxton Elder Care Facility, pretending to have dementia, and dragging children into The Territories for Lord Malshun to either use as Breakers, or for Burny to snack on if they have no Breaking skills. So, Burny’s a bad dude who did some suspicious things in Chicago; but an evil spirit (the same one who invaded Albert Fish and Jeffrey Dahmer’s bodies) is what’s causing his kidnapping and cannibalistic urges. I know I say this every ten books or so, but Burny might be the worst King villain ever. I was not upset later on when his intestines were violently ripped from his body.

A sweet little boy (with strong Breaker powers) named Tyler Marshall goes missing outside the Maxton Elder Care Facility. While he was being pulled into the bushes by Gorg who kept repeating his name; his mother, Judy receives a taunting package and letter from The Fisherman, which sends her over the brink, and she’s institutionalized.

Tyler’s disappearance really amps up the town outrage, and Jack agrees to help the police department out. He’s starting to suspect there’s some Territories nonsense going down, and he can help.

From here, the book goes at break-neck pace and includes everything from micro-brewing bikers, a dog bite that causes one to dissolve into a foamy puddle on the couch, our old friend Speedy Parker showing up as a gunslinger, the world’s most annoying newspaper reporter, plenty of flipping between worlds via the creepy old black house hidden in the woods, and a happy(ish) ending. Honestly, there’s a warning at the end of the book, which allows you to choose your own ending. You can stop reading five pages before the end, and enjoy a happy ending where the good guys win; or you can get the real world ending. Both are satisfying... I recommend reading all the way to the end.

So, just a few quotes for you...

“Wolf died of a disease called America.”

This line gutted me. I didn’t realize how much I loved Wolf as a character, until I had to read a follow-up that didn’t include him. His soul was too clean and beautiful for a fucked-up world like the one we currently live in.

“He doesn’t like the cell phone to begin with- twenty-first-century slave bracelets, he thinks them...”

No explanation needed.

“Why must life always demand so much and give so little? Parkus answers her question with a single word: ka.”

Again, no explanation needed.

Was this book as good as The Talisman?

No.

Did I want more?

Absolutely.

But was I satisfied with the end?

You bet your (un-chomped on) ass.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 33

Total Dark Tower References: 50

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

Storm of the Century: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Now I move onto From a Buick Eight. I’ve had an advanced reading copy since the book came out, but never had the urge to actually read it. That should tell you everything you need to know about my level of enthusiasm right now. I’m hoping it’s not a Christine 2.0.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

#black house #the talisman #the dark tower #stephen king #peter straub #constant readers #ka #wisconsin #albert fish #dahmer

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