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#which is why ive quarantined it to the tags
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Yknow im a huge fan of angst, and its incredibly fun to write, but i find myself kind of picky abt the structure of angst stories that ill actually read?
Like ive clicked off plenty of stories bc the way the authors handled a facet of their story, or the plot, or the tone. And its a give and take—im more likely to stay through a plot structure that im not enthusiastic about if the writing or framing is super good and vis versa. Because theres a balance, yknow?
I guess what it mostly boils down to is continuity in tone. Dramatic tone shifts—sudden plot twists—throw me off a BUNCH. Bc ive already familiarized myself with the existing tone, already grew attached to the apparent vibe that the story is going for, that a sudden shift in writing is going to throw me off and ruin the immersion.
Now, if its gradual…
Angst is, partially, about suspense. (I say as if EVERY genre isnt at least partially about suspense) I’m not here because i delight in reading about someone suffering, im here because i like reading about someone experiencing emotion
Even if a dramatic shift is part of the plot there is going to be some call back to the before. That is the purpose of dramatic, life altering events—to shake your character’s grip from their previous normal. They’ll flounder in the unfamiliarity, or theyll thrive in the new conditions, but theres still going to be some call back, some comparison to how it was before and how this event changed them or shaped them. Because people are naturally resistant to change, theyre not going to adjust perfectly. They’re also not going to suddenly change who they are as a person.
Its gradual. Theres going to be something resisting that sudden change that help to create a sense of continuity between before and after. And also having a dramatic shift with no build up or foreshadowing and NOT having that sense of tone drag is. Kinda lazy writing, in my opinion. A cop out, a deux ex machina but for plotlines
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pool-floatie · 3 months
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I feel the need to share my g/t experience with erryone since its been on my mind for a while and I find it interesting how early on It showed up.
Ever since I was a little kid, probably 5-7 years old, I had little daydreams occasionally about giants taking me to their houses or a park or wherever and they would tease me and have fun with me, I was always scared of course because apparently ive always liked this fearplay bullshit, but i still found it exhillirating and fun. Of course it wasnt romantic or anything until I got older, just,,, like a really tall roller coaster, scary but exciting.
When I started reading, i found one of the borrowers books, i think my mom actually got it for me (maybe i had mentioned the daydreams??) ! I think it was The littles and The Biggs families, but yeah. I loved it and i tried to find more but they werent at my school library 😭 so Iworked with what I had, a book and a dream. (lol cringe-)
While i was in 4th- 6th grade I had kind of repressed it, I still thought about it on occasion but i started to realise that nobody else had that interest and it was just a wierd thing with me... Until I watched the BFG (cliche right 🙄) it was when the movie came out and people were talking about it! For a while it held the title of my favorite movie just so I could talk about it when people asked that particular icebreaker.
One night in like... 7th grade I had a dream that i was at church (lol cringefail imagine being religious...) and I picked up a piece of paper inviting people to come test out an experiment... Then i saw a flash And somewhere from the depths of my memories, my brain pulled out one of my old daydream scenarios.
I was in a laboratory with several other humans and we were all in a big glass box. Surrounding us were giants who took us out of the container and gave us baths, undressing us and scrubbing us down with toothbrushes so we would be clean for the examination.
I was taken away to a desk and meticulously examined from head to toe, the giant tried to probe me with questions but I was too shocked to speak.
Thats all I can remember but I was so fascinated by the dream that I started telling my family about it, now of course nobody wanted to hear me talk about my dream for 20 minutes, so my mom encouraged me to write it down.
And oh hell did I write.
My first long form writing stemmed from a dream I had, i wrote for months, of course, I was 13 do it was flaming garbage but I was so happy about it and thought it was a masterpiece.
So naturally as anyone would, I emailed it to my english teacher.
She never responded.
I wonder why.
To this day I pray that she never opened it, her emails being too cluttered with important school things that it got lost and never crossed her eyes.
But still, it was through this little writing that I began to realise my potential (lol cringe origin story-)
I still have the draft of the story, its plot and characters were a good foundation, and perhaps one day i will look it over, change a few things, get cancer and die.
During quarantine I discovered Sanders Sides, which led me down a fanfiction rabbit hole, which led me to tumblr, which led me to a creator called delimeful , not sure if they want to be tagged in this so I wont... They wrote some marvelous G/t Sanders sides fanfic and i soon realised... This is a community, it wasnt just them.. There was, so /much/ so many artists and writers that shared this niche interest, a community of people who g e t i t .
It started slow, I continued interacting with the tumblr community ( hell, the husk of my old blog might still roam this site (|||O⌓O;) )
Only ever looking for safe, wholesome g/t.
But where was the stomach-dropping exhilliration I had felt before, that rollercoaster feeling? What was missing??
I needed the fearplay, and in looking for it i stumbled into vore and that dynamic, playing with pred/prey and even more teasing. I was hesitant at first.
But lo and behold that was the gawd damn ticket. I started to write again, finding new stories and creators and tropes galore! I learned about the community, the terms and the subgenres!
Finally I gained confidence in my writing ability through a class that helped me grow my skills and practice.
And I eventually decided i could share all my hard work. All this time I had spent worrying if i should just keep it to myself, but i reminded myself of all the non beta read and unfinished work i had seen, and looking back at my own I was less afraid, people still liked it even then... So what could they say about mine ?
There ya go, thats my,, I guess life story told through the g/t Timeline.
Hopefully I was vague enough to not give away any behind the scenes, yall will never know who I am 😈😈😈
Also im not trying to bash any creators, I appreciate everyone who contributes to the community with anything they have.
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gonzocoded · 4 years
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elphiej · 3 years
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Be My Light - Chapter 4:   The Mad Leader
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*Genre: Mafia, angst, eventual smut, slow burn
*Warnings: References to violence, minor assault, 
Author’s note: First off, I’d like to send a special Thank You to someone who was a huge inspiration to me and to this story. This is the chapter that really started it all and I was inspired by @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng  ‘s mafia reaction series. She is a fantastic person and was one of the first people I showed this Be My Light to when I was too scared to post it. She is a beautiful soul and wonderful writer. Thank you for the push. 
Another Big thanks to my editor for sticking with me all this time and into the future. And, of course, to all the people who are reading, commenting, and reblogging this. I can’t tell you all how much is means to me. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy this next installment of Be My Light. (P.S. I have a thing for RM in a long trench coat.)
Tag list:  @lolalalooo @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng, @barbikatherine , @mrsfortune1306 , @lovesick-heart0 , @iamnamjoonsbxtch , @deathkat657 , @deeepvibes , @sugamonster22 , @weiinihao, @hemmofluke , @rainbow-zebra-unicorns , @joyfullyobsessed , @elvencantation , 
                                   Chapter 4: The Mad Leader
              You stared at the cell phone clutched in your hand, your mind spinning with so many questions. Who were those people? Why did talking to this ‘RM’ make you feel like something bad was coming? With that deep, serious tone, were they just as dangerous as the man with the cane? And what kind of normal person calls themselves ‘RM’? Agust was already on the edge of interesting and odd as it was. Scanning over the still lit screen, you wondered what other names were in the contact list. Other than ‘God of Destruction’, the last few calls you could see without going through the device belonged to ‘Mochi’, ‘My Favorite’, and ‘Worldwide Pain in my Ass’. Based on those names, you couldn’t begin to imagine who was gonna match those names.
               It was safe to assume that this RM guy was concerned about the man in the suit trying to finish the job. The hospital had a good security team but you thought it best to talk to Doctor- Henry- to see if more could be done. Your hand paused as it went to put the cell phone back with Agust’s things; if RM or any of the odd named voices tried to contact you for an update, they would most likely call that, instead of trying to navigate the hospital switch board. Figuring it was the best option, you placed the phone safely in your scrub’s pocket as you moved to the bedside for one last check on the patient. Agust hadn’t moved again since right before the phone call and was still as could be. The monitors were all reading normally. There was a blood transfusion line in his arm to help replace what he had lost, along with another IV pushing fluids and medication. You adjusted his arm to make it more comfortable for him once he woke up.
               “I’ll be back to check on you as soon as I can,” you said as you fixed his blankets. “Please, try not to do anything until I get back.”
               You slipped out of the room and pulled the door shut behind you. There was an anxious feeling that crept back into your gut, the same one you felt when you had first heard the gun shots ring out from the silence of the construction site. Your mind had so many thoughts and scenarios running through it that you felt overwhelmed. Things like, ‘what if the man with the cane and rough voice came here? Would he shoot his way through the floors until he found Agust? Were you really as safe as you hoped?’ The hospital had been under a few threats but nothing had ever come from those except words. It would be best to stay as cautious as possible. You had too many friends and patients to not take your feelings seriously.
               As you made your way towards your station, you were surprised to see that Henry was already there leaning over the desk with the phone pressed up against his ear. He pulled a pad of paper from the other side of the desk and started scribbling something down as he nodded and spoke in a low tone to whomever was on the other end. That saves me from having to page him, you mused. Henry did a double take towards you when he noticed you out of the corner of his eye. He beaconed you over with an urgent wave of his hand. The calm yet awkward demeanor from earlier had been replaced with a more serious one. Once you were within an arm’s reach of him, he reassured whomever he was talking to that ‘everything will be taken care of’ and hung up.
               “Good,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I need you to help me.”
               “Henry, about that John Doe patient. I was able to talk to someone close to him. I think we may need to alert the security team about- “
               “I’ve already talked to them. The hospital is going on alert for any suspicious activity entering the hospital. And we are actually moving the patient to one of the private units upstairs. I just got off the phone with the director and we’ve got everything worked out for you so you’ll be safe,” he said over his shoulder as he started walking down the hall.
               “Wait, what does that mean? What do you mean by worked everything out?” You took extra long steps to keep up with his brisk pace.
               “The same person who demanded higher security for that patient requested that you be kept with him as his private staff until otherwise. Which means you’ll be in the secure ward with him in case anything happens. It’s gonna be for the best. You were the first one with him and it’s gonna be more comfortable if he doesn’t have to get acclimated to someone else after all this. Don’t worry, we’ve got it worked out with Jax already.”
               Henry led you back into Agust’s room and made fast work of disconnecting him from the machines that surrounded him. He pulled the IV bags down and placed them on the bed by the still form. Meanwhile, you were frozen at the end of the bed, feeling dizzy from how fast he seemed to expect you to understand what was happening. This wasn’t the first gang related case you had been assigned to since starting at Mercy, nor was it the first gunshot case; why did this sudden change to the routine make you feel ever more nervous? Never had you moved a patient into a secure wing designed from more severe or quarantined patients before just because someone had requested it. Henry called your name to shake you from your thoughts and motioned you to move to the side of the bed as he unlocked the wheels of the gurney and pushed the bed from the wall. As you helped guide it from the room, you couldn’t help but feel the tension grow.
               “So, I am just supposed to stay locked up in some room like a prisoner? And be someone’s private nurse? What about the rest of my patients here? I can’t just leave Amber to tend to them all alone. We are short staffed as it is,” you mentioned as you navigated everyone into the elevator at the end of the hall.
               Henry hit a button and the elevator started to move. He leaned close to look you in the face, his eyes filled with seriousness. “Listen, Y/N, I know this is strange but you just have to trust me. I don’t know all the details but someone particularly important has to be involved to make the director so quick to comply with whatever they asked. But no matter what, your safety is my priority, maybe a bit more than my patients. I’m sure the director thinks that too. Whoever it is must just want to make sure this guy has the best care possible. And when he gets here, he’ll probably want to hear from you what happened. And if whatever gang did this does try anything, I don’t want you to worry because no one is going to get to him or you. Only the director, you, and I will have access to this room or know where he is. Apparently, the man the director talked to said he would have a way to get a hold of you and prove his identity to gain access. I know how you are, Y/N, you are a great person. That’s why you’re so good at what you do. But don’t think that you are inconveniencing anyone; Jax has already rearranged everything and made some calls. I really need you to think about yourself now. And what is best is for you is to do what I am asking and not over think this right now.”
               Henry was being so sincere that you couldn’t find the voice to make any arguments. You gave him a weak nod and tried to take what he said to heart. As Amber had pointed out before, one of your qualities was that you put others well before yourself. Hence, why you were in this predicament. As the doors opened onto the new floor, you promised him that you would try.
               The door opened onto a floor where the more severe, long term patients were kept. This floor could, also, be used for quarantining or the more delicate of patients. At the moment, you knew it had only a few occupants: a coma patient, a patient suffering from extreme burns, and someone from the psych ward that needed more focused attention. To enter this ward, you needed a key card, making this more isolated than your full and frantic floor. Henry commented there was no record that Agust had been moved in any of the files. And if anyone tried to look him up, it would be like he never existed. The person who had called to make all this happen had said he’d contact you and that he and his colleagues were to say they were here to perform community service if asked by anyone else. Apparently, they deemed it as security protection. Henry had you swipe your ID to gain access to the floor and you made your way down the silent hall to the vacant room Henry had staked out for you to stay in. The room was bigger than the one you were used to on your floor. There was a small couch across from where the bed was to go, a private bath off near the entrance, and even a TV in the corner. There was, also, a small recliner near where the head of the gurney was to rest. You imagined you’d be there most of the time. Henry helped you set everything back up in the room and did a quick check on the patient after he was secured in his new residence.
               “Hopefully, he’s gonna wake up a bit soon. He’s reacting well to what I’m doing,” Henry commented as he checked Agust’s pupils constrict as he shined his pen light in them. He gave some instructions about his IV and transfusion processes. He gave you a quick run down of the floor in case you needed anything. “Until he wakes up, I guess feel free to do whatever in here. It can be like a mini vacation. You know, if you ignore all the weird stuff happening. You can watch some TV or order some food. The mysterious man said to spare no expense when it came to our patient or you. I promise by Friday this will be all over and we can go out and talk about nicer things. Okay?”
               Before you could stop yourself, you felt your cheeks get hot and you turned your eyes to the floor. This was not the best place for this, but you knew Henry did it to only ease the anxiety you were feeling. He was almost too perfect. Henry promised to check in once he had finished his rounds as he left from the room and pulled the door shut behind him. You heard the security lock click into place, knowing it would only open from the inside or if you had an ID card. You allowed yourself to drop into the recliner, allowing everything to wash over you. Paranoia was thick in the air as you tried to make sense of everything. Henry was right; whoever these people were they must just want to talk to you and this was easier than scouting the halls. But the thought did very little to chase the nervousness away. Your hands started to rub together out of tension, squeezing your fingers, cracking your knuckles one by one with your thumbs. You took a few deep breaths as you tried to force yourself out of the impending panic. Your eyes looked over at the bed. You tried to remind yourself that you needed to keep it together and be strong for him. Then your eyes landed on his hand. You remembered when you were hiding behind the counter when the man with the cane was getting closer and closer. And when Agust had reached over and squeezed your hand. In that moment, he gave you reassurance with such a small gesture, not thinking of himself. You remembered how genuine it felt. It’d be nice if you could do that now, you thought with a weak smile.
               Instead, you settled for forcing yourself to think of something else. You read through his charts, tapped through some news on your phone, and tried to people watch out the window behind the couch. The afternoon sun had started making its way towards the horizon; how quickly the day had ended up flying by. You had decided against turning on the television for now, thinking how awkward it would be for him to wake up to you watching some trash TV show. You tried walking around the room to get a sense of where you’d be staying for the foreseeable future. But all of that only killed twenty minutes and you were still stir-crazy. There wasn’t much you could do for Agust at the moment, except allow him to rest without you trying to hold his hand or anything else.
               Suddenly, there was a buzzing in your pocket; it was Agust’s phone. You were a bit ashamed at how quickly you reached for it. There was a new text message. It was from a new named contact: Sunshine. The preview of the message said, ‘To Miss Nurse’, making your assumption that the people on the other end would have expected you to keep the phone on you correct. And since it was addressed to you, you didn’t feel too bad about opening the phone again. You swiped open the text and tried not to scroll anywhere higher into their previous chats.
-          Sunshine: To Miss Nurse. if you see this, please take good care of our Hyung. And if he gives you any trouble, tell him I said to behave. RM should be almost there. He tends to speed.  
               There were a couple silly emojis next to it that made you smile. Surely, they can’t be bad people if this is how they communicate. They must be close friends. Though, you still wondered how they had gotten the director to do all this. Maybe there was someone else doing all of this? You shook your head and typed a quick message back, so not to have them worry.
-          I’ll take good care of him. That’s my job.
You really hoped Agust didn’t mind you messing with his phone. Though, you figured it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission in this scenario. There was no response which made you think that it was all he needed at the time. Gazing at the clock on the phone, you had wasted thirty minutes in the room so far. You thought of your backpack in the locker room a few floors down and some of your things at your stations that you could pass the time with. Since Agust was secure here, you thought it may be a good idea to gather some things to help you waste time until this RM shows up. It was unlikely that Agust was going to wake up yet, and you could be fast so he wouldn’t be alone for long. You slipped the phone back into your pocket and rose from the chair, heading for the door. You cast one more look at the still figure in the bed before dimming the lights and pulled the door shut behind you.
               You set off at a brisk pace for the elevator and took it down a few levels to where the staff locker room was kept. You raced in, pulled your bag from your locker, and left before anyone noticed you. You were sure since the director had put the whole hospital on alert that everyone was making rounds to keep eyes everywhere. You hoped grabbing your stuff from your station was just as easy; you weren’t sure about how to explain why you had suddenly deserted your station. Amber wasn’t there but you could hear her and Jax talking loudly from a back room. You wanted to talk to your best friend, to help ease some nerves and have her tell you exactly what you needed to hear. But you didn’t want to wait around or take her away from her new workload. You pulled open the drawer where you kept some personal items, incase of slower work days, and shoved them into your bag. You froze when your fingers hit against something that you knew, instantly, should not be in your bag. Peering into the opening, your eyes locked onto a metallic, black, studded object that you had seen earlier that morning.  
              The gun Agust had placed in your hand.
             How did that get in there? You didn’t remember grabbing it unless it had happened in the chaos of the EMTs and police rushing to assess the situation. Well, if you weren’t already anxious, this just made it worse. Let’s just add this to the ever-growing list of stupid things I’ve done today, you berated yourself. You brought a potentially loaded gun into a hospital. You needed to get back up to the room and get this out of your possession. Maybe when this RM got there, he could take it from you. You pulled the bag shut and slugged it over your shoulder, trying hard not to think about it.
            You moved away from the desk and down the hall towards the elevator. But as you stepped into the silent hall with all the doors closed, one was not closed as it had been when you left; the room where Agust had been. And there was someone looking inside. There was a man, tall and stocky, and dressed in a simple navy uniform. He wasn’t a part of the hospital staff and you didn’t think he was there to clean the room with the lights still off. Trying to stay as unnoticed as you could, you took longer strides towards the end. As you passed behind him, you peered beyond him into the pitch blackness of the room to just make out another figure lurking there. He wasn’t dressed in the same way as the man in the door. He was in darker colors that you couldn’t make out and wore what looked like a fedora on his head. What caught your attention as you passed, was the small peek of icy, blue hairs that were just visible on the side. A deep grumble that sounded from the room made your breath catch in your throat, and made you stop in your tracks. It sounded so familiar to the sadistic voice from this morning. The man with the cane had gotten into the hospital?! How, they upped security measures, hadn’t they? Maybe it was your imagination playing with you with all the stress. Not wanting to stick around to figure out if you were right, you tried to get away before they had noticed you.
            But, sadly, you weren’t that lucky.
           “Excuse me, nurse. Perhaps you can help me.”
           You felt your whole body stiffen as the voice was all to clearly the one that had stalked you from beyond the counter. The voice that dripped with crazed malice and venom as he called out for Agust, that had taunted and tried to lure him out. The voice that you were sure would haunt your dreams. It was the man with the cane, though he didn’t have it now. As you turned, he looked nothing like the half-crazed man yelling and destroying things around him. He looked almost normal, save for the fake smile he had plastered across his lips. He was no longer dressed in the light blue suit and fur coat you had caught a glimpse behind the counter, but in a simple dark blazer and trousers. The man who lingered in the doorway had come to stand next to him as they walked up to you, dressed in a police uniform. His uniform cap was pulled low to obscure his face, though you could see bruising and swelling through the shadows. Both of them gave a slight bow to you.
           “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Taop, this is officer Chen. We are here following up on a patient that was supposed to be brought here. I’ve been looking everywhere, but no one has an answer for me whether he is here or not. And I haven’t seen a single worker on this floor.”
           He had never seen you at the scene so you knew he didn’t recognize you, or could see that you didn’t believe anything that was coming out of his mouth. That would help you, you decided. You took a deep breath and tried to hide the fear and nervousness. Just act normal. Try to stall until someone comes around.
           “Sorry, officer, we’re a bit understaffed as it is. What can I help you with?”
           “I’m looking for a patient that was brought here. Gunshot victim, a young man, brought in this morning?”
           “Can you be a bit more specific? We are a hospital. Do you know how many young men we have come in here with some kind of bullet wound? I had six this month.”
           You saw the smile slip and irritation rise in those cold eyes. He cleared his throat, trying to hold on to his polite composure. “This one would have come in this morning. There was a shooting downtown. He would have had multiple gunshot wounds. One nurse said he was brought in by ambulance this morning, but then another said that they found no record of him. And the last person I talked to sent me here. Please, this is very important.”
           “Can I see your badge, sir?” He looked completely off guard by the question. You, also, seemed confused. It had just jumped out of your mouth before you realized it. But it seemed like the right thing to ask. You continued, “There’s been a threat made to the hospital, you see, and I need to make sure that everything is in order. I would get in trouble if I gave such information about any patient to an imposter.”
           You could see the wheels in his head turning. But you didn’t expect him to nod his head, understandingly, and reach into his pocket to hand you a leather, bifold wallet. Was this psycho really a police officer? How could someone so vile be in law enforcement? You thought back to what little memories of your father that you had lingering in the back of your mind and couldn’t begin to imagine him doing anything like what this man had done, no matter how bad of a criminal they were. Before you could think, your body seemed to act on it’s own again and opened the wallet and your eyes started to dance across the metal shield. You weren’t entirely sure what you were looking for at first. Until your eyes caught it and something clicked in your mind. It was a fake, but an exceptionally good fake. Anyone else would have just taken it at face value but something in your mind flashed and screamed that this was a fake like the smile still on the ‘inspector’s’ face. In the reaches of your memory, you remembered running your fingers over your father’s badge, memorizing every detail. And you still did that when you were stressed out; you still had his badge and it was currently in the front pocket of your bag. And you seemed to recall your father teaching you how to identify a real badge from others.
           A sudden anger took hold of you that seemed to spur on some brave part of you. You closed the wallet and handed it back to him, keeping your face neutral to hide that you were even more sure of his act. Maybe it was the dishonor to officers like your father, or that he was trying to get to the boy you had risked a lot to save. And your hard work was not going to waste. “I’m sorry officer. But like I said, we have a few patients that could fit your description. None on this floor at all. And if the other nurses said they have no record of him, I’m not sure what I can do for you. Besides that, if we did have a patient come in with multiple gunshot wounds, I imagine that they’d need extensive surgery and wouldn’t be conscious to answer any questions you could have. And with no guardian to act in their place until they are awake to consent to a line of questioning about a traumatic experience, I can’t let you go any further. You should know that, Officer.”
           The smile was wiped from the man’s face. The uniformed man’s eyes got wide at your declaration and they shifted towards his leader in panic. Taop, or whatever his real name was, straightened up and took a step towards you. He towered over you and the energy radiating from him would have intimidated you into submission. Just like with your ex. But you needed to protect Agust. In any case, all you needed to do was scream and someone would be alerted. There wasn’t much this asshole could accomplish without being found out. But he continued to advance until he backed you up against the wall. Even still, you never broke eye contact with him.
           “I don’t think you understand the situation of this, little girl,” he said, rage tittering on the edge of his voice. “There are some really dangerous people and it would be a shame if you got caught in the crossfires. It’s in your best interest to answer my questions and tell me what I need to know.”
           “Then bring a warrant,” you challenged.
           His hand collided with the wall next to your head, making you jump. His face was so close to yours now, and there was the crazed man you remembered from this morning. Your heart was in your ears. He, suddenly, took a deep inhale then another before tilting his head to the side. “What a brave little girl. Tell me, where were you this morning? Something tells me you may be exactly who I need to talk to.”
           “Hey, back off her!”
           Both you and the man turned to look down the hall towards the elevator towards the source of the deep voice that had interrupted the line of questioning. The doors of the elevator were opened and from them stepped a young man with platinum white hair. His eyes were haunting and strong, like a dragon woken from his peace. He was exceptionally tall, taking long strides towards the scene. You couldn’t help but let your eyes take in the man who was coming to your rescue. Dressed in a dark trouser and a white buttoned up shirt gave him a classic handsomeness, and a long black coat with a hood drawn up that accentuated his height. As he approached, he slid the hood down and swiped his hand up to push the stray white hairs from his face. If you weren’t terrified, you would have appreciated how handsome he was. You glanced back at the man caging you; his body tensed as the newcomer walked up but his face never showed.
           He let out a sigh and a small smile reappeared, but it was not the same he had tried to charm you with. It was one of arrogance.  “Ah, Mr. Kim,” the inspector said, not moving from his position, “how nice of you to drop in.”
          “You’ve got some nerve,” the handsome newcomer said, his tone low and smooth. 
          “What for? Being too formal? Do you not like me using your surname? I’m not sure which name you prefer now; you change names so often, it’s hard to keep up after all this time.”
          “You’re one to talk. What name are you going by now, officer? Here to investigate a fraud? Or are you here to put yourself into more trouble?”
          “Such a negative attitude. Officer Chen and I are here on official business,” the detective flashed his badge at the so named Mr. Kim. “And this nice young lady was willing to help me out with some information. Isn’t that right, Little Girl?”
          “It sure doesn’t look that way coming from the elevator. I think you need to take a step back,” Mr. Kim ordered with a strong but suggestive tone that made you question what kind of power someone as young looking as him could possess.
          The fake detective made no sign that he was planning on heeding the newcomer’s words to move from your personal space. His eyes shifted from Mr. Kim back to you. His stare bore into you sharper than claws and made your breath catch. You weren’t sure if he was trying to scare you into agreeing with him or just threaten you. But Mr. Kim was having none of that; he gave the older man’s shoulder a hard shove and wedged himself in the space between you to keep you away from the other man. Mr. Kim reached a hand behind him and placed it on your arm, to keep you secure behind him and to give you some reassurance that he was not going to hurt you. You couldn’t help yourself, as you fisted your hands into the back of his coat and peered around his massive frame.
          “You always have to play savior, don’t you Rapmon?” The way he had said the name made it seem like he was trying to strike a nerve in Mr. Kim. But the other man gave no sign that he was bothered. “You make it seem like I was doing something unseemly to her. You and your broken boy scouts always turn things difficult. Speaking of, where are the others? Maybe they could answer some questions for me. There’s one in particular I’m interested in seeing. I’m checking up on a victim from a shooting downtown. Just making sure he’s doing alright.”
          “You’re really committed to this bit, aren’t you Choi? Oh, sorry- what name are you going by today? It’s so hard to keep track, isn’t that what you said?” Mr. Kim tilted his head to the side, eyes twinkling with a mischievous shine.
          “What a nuisance you are. I’m just trying to get information to make sure things go well. Though come to think of it, your boys may not know much. Word was that the victim was all alone. Left all by themselves, bleeding and hurt in such a dangerous situation. What kind of friends would let someone knowingly go into that situation alone? Now, I’d really like to finish my conversation with the little lady, Rapmon.” When Choi, as you figured his name actually was, took a step towards you, Mr. Kim moved the both of you to keep you behind him and further away from the other. “Well, since you seem hellbent on keeping me from doing something so simple, I could always ask you. Though to be honest, your being here may have answered my questions.”
          “My being here answers nothing,” Mr. Kim challenged. “Unlike you, I am here to do good for the community. And it’s a good thing I came by when I did. You’re already on thin ice after all the trouble you’ve caused. Imagine what would happen if you caused any problems while on Hallowed Ground. If you were to hurt anyone staying or working here, you would have more than my family looking for you. The rest of the Families would be looking to teach you a lesson. Imagine what most of them will think when they hear about the deceit you pulled this morning. After what I witnessed, you can be sure I’ll have eyes monitoring this place. You will not go against the Accords.”
          “Don’t you lecture me about the Accords, you psycho. I’ve been around just as long as they have and lived them. I taught them to you.”
          “And yet, you only follow them when they suit you. Just like your leader and his before him. But things are different now. They are gone, and your hold is slipping. I have enough pull now to ensure Accords are followed. And if you want to make a further spectacle of yourself, I’ll gladly show you I’m not that kid anymore that you ordered around. You saw what my boys can do when pushed. Try me.”
          Choi started to laugh, eyes shining in disbelief at the younger bossing him around. As you peered around Mr. Kim’s frame, you saw him go to say something to officer Chen, but couldn’t form the word. He raised his hand towards the white-haired man, but let it drop with a growl. Whatever look was set upon the elder made him rethink his next move. He settled for raising his hands in a surrender and jerking his head towards his companion to tell him they were leaving. It surprised you that he was giving up so easily after how he had acted towards you. You weren’t sure what Mr. Kim meant by accords and families, but it was more than obvious that it meant something to them. Glancing up at your protector, his face remained locked in the same stern and serious mask he had when he had appeared. His eyes, perfectly lined and accentuated with makeup that only made him more intriguing, followed the pair as they turned down the hall.
          But before they could get too far, Choi stopped. He turned enough to gaze at the two of you over his shoulder, the dark and manic gleam from that morning flashing like a warning sign. He chuckled before his teasing and taunting voice that had called out to Agust filled the hall like glass shattering. “Look at how far our little maniac has come. Really living up to the title of Mad Leader, aren’t you? He thinks he’s so big and strong that he can just order me around and act like a knight in shining armor to the weak. The Mad Leader’s trying so hard to put up a front, to hide who he is, to hide the other side of the looking glass. But lest he forget, I know things he wouldn’t want others to know. And I seem to recall,” Choi turned fully around and took a full stride back towards Mr. Kim, “you had an issue with places like this. You don’t enjoy being here. Are you falling down the rabbit hole? You even have an Alice this time it would seem. So tell me, Mad Leader, are the walls closing in on you yet? Are you feeling anxious?”
          You could feel Mr. Kim tense up at the name ‘Mad Leader’ each time Choi said it. He took a deep breath, trying to ground himself. He gave you a polite push away from him before fixing Choi with a glare that made officer Chen startle. You could almost feel the air change as he stepped up to be nose to nose with the thug.
          “Since you can’t seem to remember my name, asshole, let me spell it out for you. It’s RM, R to the M. And I’m a motherfucking monster. Keep pushing me. I dare you. You hurt one of my boys. You better pray that he makes it out of all this ok. Or you’ll see just how ‘mad’ I can get.”
          Chen seemed to realize that something bad was building as he took hold of his superior and pulled him away from RM, newly identified. Choi kept the taunting smile spread across his lips as he allowed Chen to lead him away. Before he got too far, he looked over at you and gave a nod, “We’ll be in touch, Little Girl.” And then he disappeared from the floor, leaving you in the presence of RM. You can’t say you had expected this person to belong to the voice on the other end of the phone, but it would seem like that was the theme of the day. The tall man took a few deep breaths and ran his hand through his white hair before turning back to you. The serious mask he had worn had slipped away and was more approachable. He straightened his clothes before returning to your side.
          “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said, “But he shouldn’t be back. He talks a good game but he knows when he’s out done. Did he hurt you?”
          You shook your head. “I can’t believe he got in. The hospital is on lock down.”
          “Well, he’s been around a while. He has his ways. Now that he’s gone, I was hoping you could help me. I’m looking for a nurse called Y/N.” You locked eyes with him and gave him a nod of affirmation. He gave you a smile, showing off a pair of dimples in his cheeks that made him much more innocent and sweeter than the man who had gone nose to nose with the monstrous thug. “That’s a coincidence. Nice to meet you. Can you show me where to go?”
          “Prove that you’re who you say you are,” you said, taking a step away from him. Despite that you were sure he was the one you had talked to, it seemed like nothing was safe. He looked at you for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone before letting his finger glide across the screen. A moment later, Agust phone sounded off in your pocket. He glanced over at you with a bemused look as you pulled the phone out and saw the screen lit up with a notification.
-          God of Destruction: It’s me.
          “Sorry,” you said, feeling embarrassed by your sudden suspicion, “but after that guy flashed a fake police badge at me, I just wanted to be sure. Thank you for coming and for helping me. Are you Agust’s brother or a friend?”
          RM’s eyes narrowed when he heard you say Agust and gave you a strange look. His eyes seemed to dance about you, as if he was trying to figure something out. But as quickly as it appeared, the look disappeared and he smiled again. “We usually call him Suga. Only people who don’t like him call him Agust. I don’t think he’d want you calling him that. Can we go see him now? We’ve been worried about him.” You nodded and motioned him to follow you back to the elevator. As you waited for the doors to reopen, he leaned over and whispered, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Hyung you had his phone.”
          “What? Does he have some embarrassing things on here,” you joked.
          “Maybe,” came the reply and heard RM chuckle as he allowed you to step into the elevator.
          You hit the button for the floor that they moved Agu- Suga to, the doors slid shut, and the lift jolted to a start. As the sound of the mechanisms filled the space, you caught a glimpse of the tall man flinch. It seemed odd, seeing as he had just faced off against the most frightening person you had ever seen. The taunting words he had said to RM before leaving came to mind, about not liking it in a hospital. It wasn’t uncommon for people to have bad experiences related to hospitals, so you tried to brush it off. Once you had made it to the secure floor, you led him down the hall. You explained that the floor was only accessible to a few people and how they had followed the directions as specified to the director. The entire time, RM listened very intently, eyes never leaving you. He was the picture of professionalism and sincerity. You swiped the two of you into the ward, and he held the door open for you as you led him down the hall to the room. As you neared the room, you wondered if you were going to survive the present of two very handsome men. Hopefully, the rest of his friends that you heard over the phone were somewhat average.
          As you both entered the room, RM came to a stop in the threshold of the door, his eyes staring at the bed. You could see the worry and panic that you had heard over the phone slip across his face. You reached out and touched his arm. He looked at you with an almost innocent gaze, like he was questioning if it was alright to get closer. You gave him a nod and he was beside his friend in a flash. He looked as if he was debating to reach out to Suga, as if he were made of glass, but settled for taking hold of his hand. RM let out a breath and looked relieved to have finally seen his friend. From your place at the edge of the room, you could see how much one meant to the other and all worries about them being as bad as Choi disappeared.
          “Is he going to be ok? What did they do to him,” RM asked, never taking his eyes off his companion.
          “Dr. Na took good care of him,” you said, reaching for the file at the end of the bed. “He was shot twice, once in the shoulder and on his left side. The gunshot wound on his side appeared to be at close range and the bullet went through. Thankfully, there wasn’t much damage done. The bullet was lodged in his shoulder, but Dr. Na was able to remove it and mend up some of the damage. We’ll know more when he wakes up, but he should have full range of motion after some rest. He, also, has some bruised ribs and a slight concussion. Along with bruising and defensive wounds pretty much everywhere. He, also, lost a lot of blood. He’s in the middle of a transfusion now. But he is responding well to everything and we believe he should be waking up soon. With enough care, patience, and support, he should make a full recovery in no time. Which is amazing; when I found him, I was worried with how much blood he had lost that he may have had a harder road to recovery.”
          RM flicked his eyes over to you. “You found him?”
          “They must not have told you. I was on my way to work when I heard the gunshots. I was the first to find him and get him to safety.”
          RM looked like he wanted to ask more questions, when a soft groan came from the bed and drew the attention. Suga took in a deep breath and his body shifted as if fighting to wake and identify the voices. After a tense moment, his body relaxed and his eyes opened slightly. From the edge of the bed, you could see the glazed and shiny effects of the medication still trying to hold him in the state of unconsciousness, and realized he may not fully be aware of what is happening. But you were sure the presence of RM had drawn him out enough to give them a sign that he was okay. RM called out to his hyung softly, drawing Suga’s attention as he gazed about the room.
          “Hyung, hey, can you hear me?”
          Suga’s eyes fully landed on RM. It seemed as if he was fighting his way to recognition before he gave a small, drugged smile back. “Joon,” his voice sounded exhausted and stained.
          RM laughed. “Yeah, Hyung, it’s me. You’re gonna be okay. You’re safe.”
          “Joonie, I think I’m dead. I saw an angel.”
          The whitehaired man reached out and ran his fingers, gently, through his friend’s hair. “No, Hyung, you’re only tired. That bastard messed you up but you’re gonna be alright now. Why don’t you go back to sleep? The boys and I will be here when you wake up.”
          “Oh,” Suga said, almost sounding disappointed as the drugs started to drag him back to oblivion, “too bad. It was a pretty angel. Prettier than Jiminie and Hyungie combined. But don’t tell them I said that.” And just as fast as he woke, Suga went silent and still again.
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thegreatobsesso · 3 years
Text
A longer bit feat.: Callie and Simon angst. :)
Talking with @drippingmoon got me thinking of some cornerstone scenes in the enemies-to-friends slow-burn I do with these two idiots and this one, I think, stands out as the dead-center point, so I’m gonna not second-guess myself and just post it. 🥴
Tagging @thelaughingstag too! (I remembered!)
Context: Callie broke into Delaney to steal an ancient magical artifact and, believing she meant nothing but harm, Simon stopped her. But while waiting for the cops to come and drag her back to prison, Simon asks her to just tell him the truth, once and for all. Callie agrees to let him read her mind all the way back to the beginning, thinking she’s got nothing left to live for. Simon gets hit with a truckload of tragic backstory he wasn’t prepared for and is asked to follow them back to Downing Bay, the prison she’s being held in.
They’re still mentally connected, even after Simon has let go. He can hear her, and she can hear him too, which definitely isn’t normal.
Word count: 3,200
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failure. failure. failure
She wasn’t even doing this on purpose and it wasn’t just the word reverberating through his skull.
More like a full-bodied feeling flooding his consciousness as he left Delaney, a steady stream of self-hatred punctuated only by expletives.
Stop, he begged her.
i can’t, you stop listening
I can’t.
She laughed, out loud in her cell. He heard it and felt it, over the miles that separated them, the ocean and metal and glass.
He’d overextended; that’s what caused this. It took him awhile to put it together because he’d been so upset - maybe even been in a mild state of shock, in retrospect - and he spent a lifetime being so careful with his powers that he’d never done it before to know what it was like.
And so that was bad, yes, but come on. How much longer could it last?
He was stepping onto the boat to Downing Bay when the pain started - hers, and not the torrent of existential agony he was struggling to adjust to but pain, physical and substantial.
What’s happening? he tried to ask, but it got lost - she could barely think, suddenly, let alone focus on sending him mental telegrams.
The cluster of metal buildings hovered threateningly on the horizon, and as they got closer, minds inside got louder, almost drowning Callie out. He wanted to tell them to turn around and take him away; the claustrophobia was overwhelming, the collective sense of being trapped.
The boat brought them underneath the smallest building; a scorched sign read Diagnostics in block letters with an arrow pointing up. What might’ve once been a loading dock was sectioned off with caution tape and hanging sadly down into the water, barely still attached to the rest of the infrastructure. They laid a make-shift bridge between the boat and platform to walk across.
Once inside, they asked him to empty his pockets and leave all his belongings in a small box.
“This stays with me,” he said, holding his Headmaster’s key, bronze and solid, in the palm of his hand.
“No, sir,” said the tired corrections officer, unaware of who he was. “All belongings.” She shook the plastic container for emphasis, rattling the rest of his stuff around.
“I’m the headmaster of Delaney of School for Magicians,” he said. “This is a master key and it doesn’t leave my neck. If you need to call your superiors about it, please do it, but I won’t leave it here.”
A few minutes later, he put the chain back around his neck, dropped the key down inside his shirt, and was escorted inside.
“No one’s suppressed me yet,” he said to one of prison officers. He waited until the last second; surely they knew their own duties better than he did. He didn’t wanna insult anyone, but they hadn’t done it and they were bringing him though thick, reinforced doors to the warden’s office and if not now, when?
“We’ve not been asked to, sir. This way.”
The warden smiled when Simon entered his office, waved everyone else away. He introduced himself as Warden Prescott and extended his hand - it was thin and cold when Simon shook it, despite the muggy warmth.
“Thank you for coming so quickly,” he said. “How fares your school?”
“It’s seen worse. It looks like she hit this place harder, to be honest.”
The warden smiled, and Simon caught an image of a collection, varying people with differing characteristics on display in tiny boxes, one of them out of place. “Yes, she put on quite a show on her way out. Destroyed all our boats and did a significant amount of superficial damage, but nothing structural, thankfully.”
Of course not - living her memories alongside her showed him she made sure she didn’t hurt anyone, only crippled their ability to pursue her.
It was too warm in here and he wondered how the warden could be so buttoned up in thick polyester when he had to unbutton his own light jacket.
“A hearing will take place tomorrow morning and your presence will be required,” he began. “I suspect I know at least  part of the reason why. News reached my ears that you behaved quite badly.” He made a tsk-tsk sound and shook his head at Simon like he was a naughty child.
“I did what I did,” he said flatly. “I shouldn’t have read her mind, and I accept the consequences for it, whatever they’ll be.”
“Oh, I meant absolutely no disrespect,” the warden said. “The opposite, in fact. I daresay if I had your powers, I’d like nothing more than to take a stroll through that mind of hers. She’s an interesting one. The fact that you did so might work to our advantage, in fact. You see, we’re in a bit of a bind with all this. May I speak plainly?”
“I wish you would,” he said. The warden was carrying his collection of dolls in his mind, all unique and valuable and distinctly dehumanized, and Callie’s thoughts were still flowing like a steady IV drip, making him feel irritable and short.
“Well, Mister Bennett, the facts are as such: we’ve got a limited testimony from you that the authorities will need expanded upon, that says you’ve seen the original crime in the first person, and your account differs wildly from the one she’s given. There are additional crimes stacked up past that - her escape from prison and attempted theft of an undisclosed item from your school. And the world wants to know how an infamous killer managed to become the first person in history to escape Downing Bay.”
“It’s a valid question for them to ask.”
“With an undesirable answer. But I think you’re in pain, Mister Bennett. Do you need a doctor?”
He was, but it wasn’t his own injuries that made wince.
“It’s her,” he groaned. “You’re hurting her, what are you doing?”
The warden sighed. “Come,” he said. “I’ll show you.”
He took Simon down the hall, into a sterile room filled with recording equipment and a solid wall of glass. On the other side of the it, Callie. She sat a bare table in prison scrubs, hands cuffed to its surface. IVs were inserted in both her arms, the needles taped down, liquid flowing from bags hanging behind her. The metal collar around her neck flashed blips of red, yellow and green, reminding him absurdly of a Christmas tree.
She bit her lip and shuffled restlessly, an involuntary response to the pain she was trying to ignore.
“You’ve got to stop this,” he said.
“To be fair, this isn’t what diagnostics usually looks like,” the warden said while he swallowed down a wave of sickness. “Typically, we focus on finding a long-term suppressive solution that both nullifies abilities and has minimal side effects for the prisoner. We are, unfortunately, in disaster minimization mode rather than long-term maintenance with your friend here.”
This was the strain being put on her body - the combination of every drug known to medicine that could hold back the expression of magic for any amount of time at all. “She’s not my friend,” he muttered. “Isn’t this unethical?”
“Should we allow all her power to rush back in so she can kill my people and escape again?”
“She’s not killing anyone,” Simon said with certainty.
“That’s not what she said a few hours ago,” the warden recalled. “We had no less than five guards trying to process her and she threatened their lives.”
Dammit. “What we you doing to her?”
“Attempting to place her segregation.”
He resisted the urge to groan in frustration, to punch the glass in front of him. “She didn’t mean it,” he muttered, not relishing the job of being her translator. “She’s terrified of solitary confinement, she just didn’t wanna go.”
“That’s unfortunate, given that we can’t very well place her back into general population. This is all that’s left, a quarantine unit, meant for contagious disease.”
On the other side of the glass, Callie squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her head. A fresh wave of pain ran over him too.
how much longer, how much more?
“How long can you keep this up, these stop-gap measures? Surely they won’t work forever.”
Warden Prescott raised his eyebrows. “These measures aren’t even working very well, Mister Bennett. I daresay if she wanted to, she could be gone before nightfall. I’m afraid she’s only here at her pleasure.”
Pleasure? He looked back at her in the next room, her face contorted. “You’re kidding me.”
“I wish I was,” Warden Prescott said, with a small smile. “We’re in the dark here, fumbling through uncharted territory without a map. She’s got my best techs feeling like children when they try to interpret the results of all this treatment. She’s a thing that isn’t supposed to exist: a hybrid. Focused magic and Eclectic, all at once.”
The implications of the warden’s words began to stack up in his already overtaxed mind and part of him thought, ridiculously, of a vacation. Of sitting on a beach with a book getting a suntan, drinking something with a slice of pineapple on the rim, smoking a cigarette or two or fifty - of not having a care in the world, for just a little while.
A hybrid, then. Focused and Eclectic.
He’d walked through her life with her and even she didn’t understand that, not really, not in such terms. She, and everyone else who knew what she’d done to Peter, had thought of it like an acquisition of new powers; not a fundamental genetic change.
Did Riley know this? Riley, who gathered Callie’s DNA and did extensive testing on it, who still had it?
“Has anybody been in touch with the family?” he asked, unwilling to explain why he was asking.
“I know someone’s reached out,” the warden said. “I don’t believe there was any reply.”
No, he supposed not. Riley would want nothing to do with any of this. Still, she had to be sweating, didn’t she? How could she know Callie still held up her end of their deal?
“I wonder,” Warden Prescott drawled, “if your trip through her mind was quite so extensive that if she were back inside your school, right now, you’d trust her not to hurt anyone.”
“It was,” he said. “And I would.”
He couldn’t imagine this would be easy for anyone else to swallow. He certainly wouldn’t believe it himself without first-hand insight. “I want to talk to her.”
The warden nodded his assent at the guards lining the wall.
“As I said, everyone wants to know how she managed to escape,” he said, walking Simon around to the entrance of the adjacent room that held Callie. “The thing I’m most curious about it why she even waited so long to do it. Is that something you know, from your jaunt through her mind?”
“Yes.”
“Are you inclined to share?”
He decided earlier, definitively, that he didn’t like the warden: the way he looked at his inmates like specimens, pinned inside a case. “No,” he said.
“Fair enough,” he agreed. “Although you might be asked tomorrow, by someone more powerful than me, in a much more formal capacity. We’ll be leaning on your expertise considerably to entangle that mind of hers.” He shook his head in admiration. “The unsuppressable Callie Ray.”
“I wouldn’t toss that around,” he muttered.
“Why not?”
The guard undid a stack of locks on the quarantine room door. “I don’t want her hearing it,” he said as they pushed the door open. “She’ll like it too much.”
Little black cameras dotted the corners of the room; he knew the warden would be listening on the other side of the glass where’d they’d just come from, and he was certain they were being recorded too.
She lifted her head, smirked at the sight of him. “I’d say hello,” she said, her voice scratchy. “But it’s like I never left you, isn’t it?”
She looked awful. Her red-rimmed eyes matched her hair; one was still swollen, decorated in bruises. “I am sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for this.” He gestured between his head and hers.
he just says it, just like that
“Did you get a good spanking for it? I’m sure nobody expected that from their golden boy.”
Her words were hollow to him now; they washed over him uselessly and left him thoroughly unimpressed. He pulled up a chair and sat opposite her at the steel table, mirroring her position with his hands folded in front of him, except for the absence of cuffs, obviously.
We could talk like this, he said, if you don’t want them to listen.
A jumbled negative reply came across their connection. He nodded.
“There’s a whole team of people on the other side of the door, trying to figure out the best ways to keep your magic suppressed on a minute-to-minute basis,” he said.
“Can you believe it?” She tried for a smile, but it was poorly constructed. “All this for little old me.”
“Well, you’ve convinced the world you’re a dangerous monster and now you’re being treated like one. You did this to yourself.”
“Did you hear me complaining?”
Another wave of gnawing pain; she was sweating, her jumpsuit damp in the armpits. It hit him too, surely just a fraction of what it felt like for her, and he’d already had enough.
“Just tell them,” he said. “Tell them what I know, that it was an accident from the start and you don’t wanna hurt anyone else, and they might let up.”
“I don’t want them to,” she said, voice strained, hanging onto composure by a thread. “I like the pain.”
if I’m in pain I’m getting what I deserve I don’t have to feel guilty
He’d never felt a mind twisted up into knots like this, how did it get this way?
“Is that why you’re still here?” he asked. He looked toward the glass where he knew Warden Prescott was still standing, watching and listening. “They know you’re letting this happen. That if you wanted to, you could stop it.”
She blinked; a powerful emptiness surged up inside her. “Where else am I supposed to go?”
It wasn’t a rhetorical question - she was interested in an answer if he had one, but he didn’t. He lived her life alongside her in a compressed whirlwind of tightly-packed failures and she had no family to take her in, Delaney certainly wouldn’t have her, there were no relationships, no friends…
He pulled back; it hurt to be near.
“Just because you say you’re not gonna try to escape again…” He fumbled, trying to lay out the mess. “They still can’t hold you on your word, Callie. You’ve got the public frightened that Downing Bay can’t hold you and the authorities are scared you’re gonna prove it.”
She nodded and winced; something crossed her mind too quickly for him to get a good look. “What are they gonna do to me?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t think they do either.”
“Why don’t they just kill me?”
The way she said these things - it was infuriating. “They can’t just execute someone because they don’t know what else to do with them.” He narrowed his eyes like it might help him see her clearer. “Is that what you want? To die?”
She rolled it around in her head. “Not really,” she shrugged. “But I don’t really wanna live either.”
Hopelessness emanated from her; he felt her future the way she saw it, a vast, meaningless chasm of nothing. It made him want to scream.
“Don’t,” she snarled, her awareness of their connection snapping to life. “Don’t you feel sorry for me, you jackass. I don’t want your pity, I’d rather you spit in my eye.”
“I can’t help it,” he groaned. “You sit there acting like this while… it’s, it’s like two different radio stations blasting into each of my ears, I can’t think.”
She swallowed thickly, like she was nauseous. “Do you wanna know exactly how much sympathy I have for you right now?”
“No.”
“Zero,” she said anyway. “Nobody made you drill yourself your own personal pipeline into my brain.”
“That’s not what I was trying to do.”
“Oh, so sad,” she pouted, turning her bottom lip out. “You made your first mistake. Feels like shit, doesn’t it?”
he’ll tell everybody, then everyone will know how stupid, how useless, how embarrassing, and he’s listening to you RIGHT NOW, he knows it all, i wish i WAS dead so i didn’t have to, would be easier than this-
“You let me think you did it on purpose,” he bit out, too overwhelmed to hold it back. “You let me think the absolute worst of you.”
“The worst of me is the truth, the shit you know now.”
“No, it’s not. What you are is not worse than a cold-blooded killer, a, a liar, somebody I could spend the rest of my life feeling like a fool for letting in, how do you justify doing that to me?”
She shrugged, blinked slowly, helplessly, like she couldn’t believe she had to put words to something so simple. “I… the damage was done.”
He scoffed - he couldn’t help it. “It wasn’t. There was a lot more damage left to do, and you did it. You did it all.”
Anger, fresh and bitter, burned through their connection.
i was trying to fix it if you would’ve just walked away none of this would be happening i could have made it go away-
“At what cost?” he asked. It would sound like a non sequitur to everyone listening but he didn’t care. “Even if the orblex could do what you were planning, you can’t possibly predict how it would’ve worked. Did you think it would just drop you off on Christmas twelve years ago and let you start again? No one knows how Time magic works and you wanted to just unleash it. For all you know you could have ripped the world apart.”
Disbelief. how could he say something like that?
“Wouldn’t you?” she asked. A crack in her voice - a tear springing from her eye that hadn’t been there a moment before, rolling down her cheek. “You wouldn’t take that risk, Bennett? To bring him back?”
He wanted to say no, but it got stuck in his throat. She still grieved for him, as hard as he ever did, and it annihilated the space between them, blurred the final lines.
He pushed his chair back and got up - he needed a second. Not to be looking at her, not to be sharing feelings.
“Where are you going?”
are you leaving? don’t leave
He clasped his hands behind his head, breathed in and out, shut his eyes.
say something say something say something say something-
“There’s gonna be a hearing tomorrow,” he said, cutting off the flood of her thoughts she couldn’t control. “Or, not a hearing. A discussion, I guess.”
He turned to face her again; she was listening with rapt attention. She hadn’t been told yet.
“They’re gonna talk about whether there’s any kind of precedent they can fall back on for this, anything at all. I don’t know if they want me there as a witness or a human lie detector, but they asked me to stay for it and I’m staying. After that, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll see you again, maybe I won’t. I have to think this-”
He gestured to the space between their heads again, at a loss for what to call it. “This’ll fade with time and distance. It’ll have to. It can’t stay forever.”
It couldn’t, could it?
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carbootsoul · 3 years
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fic recs? ive been combing out my locs for 3 hours and im So Bored,,.,.,
hell YEAH i have so many since i uh have been reading soo much fanfiction over quarantine lol and have also been reading ace attorney fic since like 5th grade or something equally stupid. like i am running out. (also thank u for the excuse to reread my favorite fics sjdklfjs i have to make sure they’re as good as i remember before recommending them to u 🥺). sorry this is a little late i finally convinced my little brother to watch sk8 with me lol
anyway leo’s fanfiction recs!! these aren’t in any particular order (technically they’re in chronological order of when i read them i guess) and most of them r going to be ace attorney but i think i’ve got two or three mp100 fics too!! i just didn’t have as many mob psycho fics bookmarked which is bothering me since i know i’ve read a lot of really good serirei fics i just didn’t save them everywhere.. if i send u an ask later with just links to a few that’s why.
gravity- (ace attorney, klapollo, rated e) if u haven’t read gravity yet.. i mean valid but i reread this one last night and it is just as good as i remember.. this is a weird thing to say about a klapollo fanfiction (and the klapollo is VERY GOOD) but i am obsessed with how miles and phoenix r characterized in this it’s such a fun perspective on their characters oh my god. there are a few points in this fic where i had to like. stop and look away because i was so excited about how it was written lol. there’s a second part to this fic that’s a mini wrightworth scene and it makes me go actually insane
the same thing, self aware- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated m) cw past alcoholism. one of my top 3 ace attorney fanfics honestly 🥺 the premise is that phoenix and miles broke up when phoenix adopted trucy and they decide to spend a weekend together when miles gets back to san francisco (latter half of the 7 year gap) and GOD. it’s p angsty but has a happy ending and is also like. such an interesting look at their characters. also this:
“Well, fuck, Miles, why did you even ask me here?” Miles says into the kitchen sink, “Because you used to be my best friend.”
forty years in the wilderness- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) classic post aj fic about edgeworth’s return to the states. i think most ppl have read this one but like. for good reason. sometimes i talk to my friend leo while i read fics and send them my favorite parts and i swear i sent them like 3/4ths of this fic. it’s just SO sweet and in character and i love it
to go another day- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) god this fic is STUPID fluffy and rly short but it lives in my head rent free. horrifyingly in character and im obsessed with it
what we make- (mp100, reigen & tome, rated t) it’s been a while since i read this but im weak for any content about tome and reigen since like.. i’m obsessed with how similar they are.. the same kind of obnoxious gay. also the background serirei is rly sweet 🥺🥺
all there is- (ace attorney, wrightworth & past krisnix, rated e) cw for dubcon, dissociation during sex, and alcoholism. this is probably the angstiest fic on this list and deals with a lot of heavy topics but it’s really well written. the summary says ‘phoenix and kristoph during the seven year gap, phoenix and miles after it’ and yeah basically. 
catch me i’m falling- (mob psycho, terumob, rated g) college aus.. pining teru.... other ppl having crushes on mob (as they should).. fluff... shou being mean to teru... thank u
wilst du mich heiraten?- (ace attorney, wrightworth, rated t) HI THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE FANFICTION EVER oh my GOD its so tender and good and the found family of it all. miles calling phoenix darling/sweetheart is my favorite hc. it’s told in two parts- one from phoenix’s pov before his disbarrment and one from apollo’s after everything with kristoph- and i just. seriously read this one it makes me so very happy. everything by the author is also good- my other personal favorites are love most definitely requited (the only hanahaki fic i’ve ever enjoyed) and reading between the lines (the original trilogy from miles’s pov). 
surrender on no sides- (mob psycho, character driven/ritshou, rated m for drug use, violence, and psychological abuse) tw for a lot of things- i’d advise looking at the tags. ok when i said all there is is the angstiest fic i was lying because i forgot about this one. uhh frankly don’t read it if you’re at all worried about any of the tags because this is VERY intense. the premise is that ritsu is the one who goes into mogami’s fucked up head land instead of mob (& mogami’s world is worse than canonically) and things just go downhill from there. i think about this fic on a weekly basis tho
this got LONG i didn’t realize how many favorite fics i had until i was listing them. thank u for asking tho!! i get really excited about things i’m into so it’s fun to get to ramble about them lol. i hope u enjoy these (and that you haven’t read all of them already lol)
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Text
Quarantine || Chris Evans x Reader
Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader / Chris Evans x You
Warnings:  Smut and a little cute fluffy - also could be triggering for current situations.. also kinda long 
Words Count: 2045
Summary: Chris quarantine alone so is  his neighbor (y/n) too. So they talk all day across the balcony because of the distancing, and the sexual tension becomes to much and Chris jumps the railing and they screw right then
Tag-List: @patzammit​​​​ @torntaltos​​​​ @smoothdogsgirl​​​​    (tag list is also open so if you want to be tagged let me know, you can reply to this or send an ask)
A/N: Sometimes smut is hard to write. So there is that before you read this. I try my best with it, not the actual best writer of smut but ill work on it -- sorry it took a few days to post I had to one finish it and its almost finals so ive been a bit distracted 
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Living so far from your family during this time was hard when you couldn’t even walk the streets. You knew the man next door to you though passing but you had never actually sat down and talked to him. One week into being alone you saw him sitting outside reading a book, so you open your sliding glass door and walked over to the edge and lean over to read the title “so is it any good?” You wondered with a slight smile on your face looking at him. He closed his book and looked over at you “yeah its pretty good, fancy seeing you out here” he teased back “feeling lonely?” He wondered as he leaned forward in the chair he was sitting “i guess this whole being stuck inside and not being able to do anything is really putting a damper on my social life I'm left talking to you” You teased back “I'm y/n” you introduced yourself incase you never have “Chris, you know we have lived next door to each other for like a year now and never done that..” He smiled back at you. “you should be more friendly” 
“Says the guy who always looks like he is running late or the world is going to end” your laugh slightly “seriously every time I see you in the lobby or the hall you are like sprinting out the door, do you need a watch or something?” You wondered with a cocky smirk on your face “If you must know I just like to be perfectly on time.” He snarked back “and its not usually me its the driver they send every morning, he gets here so late and I have to run to him so we can make it on time” he defended himself “oh driver, what do you do for a living, you live in this nice apartment int he middle of the city and have a driver” She wondered as she took a seat herself on her patio furniture 
“nothing really special I act in a couple of things, right now I'm staring in a show on broadway called Lobby hero” he said back to her “otherwise I don’t spend much time in the city” “oh so your can actor, no wonder your always late. Have you been in anything I would have seen, note I don’t watch many movies only the ones I'm dragged to” You asked him crossing your legs facing him “uh I'm not sure then I did a few romcoms back in the day, currently I'm playing captain America” he said thinking “have you seen the old school fantastic four?” He asked looking back at you taking a drink of his water “you mean the one with uh Jessica Alba? I mean of course” You replied back “oh my god Jonny storm.. aka human douche” you smirked “thats what my friends called you in that movie” 
He couldn’t help but laugh as he clutched his chest with his hand “oh my god thats a good one, he was kinda an asshole in that movie” He smiled. That is how your days went. You two talked, and talked and talked till it got so personal Spending time with each other has been the staple of your day,
Most days you got our coffee and then headed out to the balcony with a book and waited for Chris to get up and get ready. Some days it was about an hour as you had always been an early riser. You most mornings did a home work out, weather it was yoga or like a dance video 
Walking out this morning you were just in your yoga pants and a tank-top, thank god the weather had been improving from winter and was actually warmer. 
This morning you were reading the book you met Chris reading, he had finished it and lended it to you. As you enjoyed your cup of coffee as he walked out and looked over at you “so you're enjoying it then?” He wondered as he sat down with his puppy outside You carefully close the book to not lose your page “yes I am sucked in. Its really eye opening and like life changing” you smiled across the balcony at him “good morning dodger, your cutest than your owner did you know that?” You said leaning forward and petting him since he was on the railing 
“oh is that what you really think?” Chris wondered walking up next to dodger looking at you locking eye contact, you couldn’t help but just freeze where you were, locking the stare of his piercing blue eyes.  “no?” You questioned yourself “i mean you are decent looking” you said biting the inside of your lip as you pull the stare you to hard, which had quite honestly created the most sexual tension the two of you have had yet “so what are you plans today?” You wondered “you know, talking to you, and maybe making some food” he said with a shrug “but here is the thing not go anywhere.” He smirked over at you. He found you attractive. He just looked at you as he leaned against the railing, “what about yourself” “well I was thinking about kidnapping that adorable dog, and reading this book. And I guess talking to you” you teased him slightly as you had nothing else to do ‘and order food because I'm out, lets be honest” you shrugged “i need to venture out one day but for now ill just do take out” Chris shook his head “yeah I wouldn’t they make a thing called this grocery delivery thing.” He said simply. He said taking off his jacket which relived his white t-shirt, which just outlined his muscles completely, you couldn’t help but stare at them. “right yeah right yep I should look into that” You said still looking at him. Chris couldn’t help but watch you look at him. He to be quite honest he found it even more fantasying to you. He took his moment. He opened the door for dodger to go back in as he jumped over the rail, the gap between your two balcony was about a foot, it wasn’t that much that he was going to hurt himself being on a higher floor. He had the urge to actually be connected to her, he couldn’t stand it any longer. You were so confused watching him jump over the railing “what are you doing? Are you crazy you could hurt yourself!” You said as you took a step back so he had room to land as he jumped over “oh my god you just about gave me a heart attack why would you do that!” 
Chris didn’t respond he just put his hand on your hip and pulled you closer to him and crashed his lips. You responded by kissing him back and putting your arms around his neck pulling away “what are you?” You tried to ask him before he cut you off with another kiss. You ran your hands down his shirt till it was in hem and started to tug at it, as they long enough to pull his shirt off and then he pulled your shirt off. He picked you up and set you on your patio table. You didn’t question any of it. You took a second with your hands on his abs as you pulled away from a breath “god damn what are you made out of stone” you wondered looking at him. He smiled and looked at her “no just a lot of working out, you wanna do this?” He wondered just to confirm cause concert “I've wanted this the last few weeks, but I'm not daring enough to jump over the rail, though you could have used the door” you teased him again with a smirk “thats it” he said picking you up and took off your pants as he pulled you to the front of the table as you worked on undoing his belt. You stared to push them down to his ankles. 
He picked you up again well kissing you very passionately and intently. Bringing you into your apartment, your neighbors didn’t need a show but he didn’t care at that point, He laid you down on the couch kicking off his own pants and grinding himself against you. You couldn’t help but letting a moan escape your lips, into his mouth, you could feel the edges of his lips smile knowing that you enjoyed that. He bite your lip as he pulled off your panties and you his boxers, you ran your hand down his body to meet his member, using your hand getting to run the length, guiding him to the entrance. After making him put on a condom. He could feel the wetness running off your clit as he slide into you. You gasps as he entered you, you knew how big it was, but feeling it inside of you was a whole different story. Being who he was he pulled away from your kiss “are you okay is that okay?” He wondered. You without words nodded as he started to pump his hips into yours. You lifted your legs wrapping them around his waist. Rounding your hips into his. 
He cupped your breast giving it a tight squeeze which made another moan escape you're lips “Chris, harder” you said breathless and he obeyed doing exactly what you said. 
As you closed your eyes feeling every kind of euphoric sensation you reached up and ran your hands though his He could feel when you were getting close he ran his hand down your lower body as he found your clit and started to play with it. This sent you over the edge, you could feel the pit in the lower part of your stomach tighten, and your walls around his penis. He could tell you were getting close, he shifted and started to thrust into you harder feeling you cum around him. He finished at the same time you did, the two of you road out the high of the climax before he pulled out. He lowered his head breathless as they hung over your breasts, and you shifted so he could lay next to you on the couch. You laughed slightly looking at him “did that really just happen?” You asked out loud as he joined you on the couch. “it did yes, id say it was a long time coming” He smiled and kissed you again “from the first day we met outside” You couldn’t help but smile and bite your lip “I have a question, what does the mean?” You wondered as your finger ran over the tattoo he had on his collarbone, letting it linger on his body “it is Buddhism for When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” He said back to you with a small smile “interesting” you said and kissed him again and got up “I'm hungry now” you said as you grabbed his shirt from outside and slide it over your head and walked into the kitchen. 
He got up and slide on his boxers and followed you. “right I haven’t gotten food” you said as you look in the fridge that is basically empty at this point “come on” he said as he handed you your panties and you slide them on. He took you over to his apartment and made you some food. “also if you keep wearing that shirt we might end up in round two sooner than you think” he said back to you “okay then ill keep wearing it” you said after walking into his apartment and walked over to his puppy and sat on the floor next to him “oh your such a good boy dodger, oh okay” you laughed as dodger knocked you over and attacked you with kisses Chris Smiled as he looked over at the both of you knowing that he could see a future between the two of you, and to think if you weren’t locked in the house you two may of never met. 
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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 3 years
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Pairings: None
Word Count: 1,676 Words
Summary: Ranpo questions Carroll.
Warnings: Blood Mention, Injury Mention, Food Mention, Drug Mention, Blood Drinking Mention, Starvation Mention, Death Mention, Cursing, Kidnapping Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.
How Poe Stumped Ranpo: Chapter 12
Ranpo was getting angry. Eight days Poe had been missing and, this morning's photo, as provided by the Guild, had poor Edgar biting a bag of blood, eyes a furious burning lavender behind his bangs, the whites red with either injury or what he could only assume was whatever was making him drink blood.
The others weren't much better in their photos. Junichiro's hands in one picture had what looked like pike marks in them and he was having that same blood bag for some reason. The five unidentified people, Akutagawa, and Tachihara's pictures had them eating dog food for reasons he didn't know.
He had yet to figure out why their diets were different. Yosano was working on the drug. She'd recreated it, but had to test it out to find out what it did before she reversed it. Both Dazai and Chuuya had offered themselves to test it and Yosano had chosen Chuuya with his history with the drug in his system still from the sixth day of the investigation.
Chuuya was quarantined to their infirmary in case anything happened to him, which Dazai was constantly bothering him. Ranpo had nowhere to go with the investigation. Carroll wasn't giving up anything but at least they had the man whose ability allowed him to drug people so his partner was unlikely to take anyone else and bodies weren't showing up anywhere so they had to assume their friends were alive between pictures.
The week was hard, Ranpo couldn't focus on any other investigations and had to call off of them due to his lack of focus. But, on the seventh morning of Yosano testing Chuuya, the fifteenth day since Edgar was taken, a scream rang through the offices from the infirmary.
Everyone present, him, Kunikida, and Dazai, went running to find Yosano standing, holding her right forearm with her left hand and Chuuya was in the corner away from her, muttering apologies. Yosano's arm was leaking blood onto the floor and Chuuya was growling between apologies.
"What happened?" Kunikida asked.
"He bit me when I went to change his IV." Yosano began to put bandages on her wound.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Chuuya muttered from the corner.
"He drank blood. Like our friends did in the pictures." Ranpo put pieces together quietly.
"So Chibi needs blood?" Dazai asked.
"Well, it would make sense of the reason whoever took them made them begin to drink blood after a week of having them, it's the drug." Ranpo rambled.
"Here, Chibi." Dazai offered the redhead his arm.
"Dazai!" Kunikida scolded.
"He has to eat, Kunikida. We can't starve him, he'll probably get more dangerous." Dazai smiled at his coworker as he put his arm closer to Chuuya's face but the mafioso shook his head in refusal.
"C'mon, Chibi, you can do it." Dazai urged him and put his wrist into Chuuya's unwilling mouth, nicking himself on the fangs that had come in. Chuuya growled, digging his teeth in and Dazai sat with him, petting his hair.
"Slow, don't want to kill me now, Kunikida will be mad at me." Dazai played with red hair to pass his time being a walking blood bag for his ex-partner. After a few minutes, Chuuya forcefully pulled himself away and pushed Dazai away, hiding away again.
"See, Chibi, that wasn't so bad." Dazai patted his head.
"'M sorry." He apologized again.
"It's okay, Chuuya. I just wasn't expecting it. Realistically, we should have known from the pictures we've gotten." Yosano told him as Dazai took the redhead's hand and was bringing him back to his bed, but the mafioso hisses when the sunlight hit his skin and hid inside Dazai's jacket from it.
"Poor Chibi can't be in sunlight." Dazai crooned, making Kunikida close them and Chuuya calmed, letting Dazai move him to his bed. Yosano was already working on the drug, taking Chuuya's blood once he laid back down and began studying it and its reactions.
By the end of the day, Yosano had manufactured a semi-reversal but she refused to test it until she perfected the antidote drug, which she got the next morning a few hours after their daily taunting driven by her caffeine-fueled overnight stay.
Chuuya didn't get blood again, he just got the drug and, after a few hours, he was mostly back to himself. Everyone sighed in relief as they now had a way to save their friends once they could weasel information from Carroll.
The day also came with another helpful tip from Carroll, who had been being questioned daily and had requested Ranpo by name. Carroll laughed the minute he saw the detective and Ranpo decided he'd play the game Carroll obviously wanted. And he'd win.
"You asked for me." Ranpo informed him. "Just know I have two coworkers outside the door who will kill you if you so much as touch me." He threatened.
"I've been waiting sixteen days to know what the great Ranpo looks like. And the competition can't even be memorable." Carroll laughed.
"Why me?" He asked, sitting down across from him, back to the door, ready.
"Someone very special, your little boyfriend, Poe." Carroll's eyes tracked over him, searching for an opening he wouldn't give.
"He's not my boyfriend, you know. We're rivals."
The detective internally smiled at Poe's title for their relationship, but he wouldn't let Carroll know the title made him so happy, it would sound so much better coming from Poe, after all. The man that announced it so happily, as opposed to how shy and meek he usually was. Ranpo was the only one that got to see him so proud and outgoing.
"You know, I can give you information if you give me information back." Carroll suddenly offered.
"What information?" Ranpo asked.
"Where they are. If you tell me more about our test rats. Heh, rats." Ranpo narrowed his eyes.
"What do you want to know?"
"About your bitch, does he like blueberries?"
"I'd probably say yes. I can't fathom it, but he likes fruit more than candy and I'm sure blueberries are his favorite." Carroll crackled a dark laugh into the quiet of the room.
"What about that kid? Does he like blue raspberry?" Carroll's questions caught his attention. Flavors. The sodas their victims had been given. He had known flavors that Jun'ichiro and Naomi liked. He probably wouldn't ask for Tachihara either.
"I believe so. I've caught him with blue raspberry candies in his pocket. He has a lung illness, you know. Those candies help him breathe better." He assumed Carroll knew of the kid's illness by the smile he got.
"That's what made him such a good target." Carroll shrugged. "Tell me, have you figured out the other five yet?"
"My coworker has identified them this morning. Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, and Sigma, Saigiku Jouno, and Tecchou Suehiro. Three members of the Decay of the Angels and two government workers. He was able to identify them. He would actually like to know why you kidnapped three of your allies, Lewis. What could testing allies possibly give you?" Ranpo asked.
"Fyodor killed Bram. Fukuchi wasn't happy with that, since the drug doesn't allow the infection to spread from them that we know of, so he had us test on him. But we couldn't have his two friends interfering so I took them with him." It was a simple explanation, betrayal. Maybe Fyodor had a change of heart about the operation?
"Anyway, do you know their favorite flavors?"
"No, I don't." He admitted.
"Well, I'm sure by now their favorite flavor is blood." Carroll snickered. Ranpo refused to react. "And do you know that cute redhead's?" Carroll asked.
"Last I knew, he hated cherry. I gave him a cherry candy earlier in the day before you tried to kidnap him and he hated it." Ranpo admitted.
"Aw, boo. I was hoping to ruin it for him." Anderson pouted.
"Anyway, you know, I picked things I could smell on them. Your bitch had blueberry candies with him. Seki likes to eat blackberry candies, Naomi loved cotton candy. The kid had those blue raspberry candies for his lungs or whatever too. Tachihara likes grape soda, so I figured I'd ruin it for him. That purple one was too easy, he likes sweet things. And the carny asked for yellow, and he smelled like pomegranate so I gave him that too. That bitch, Fyodor, smelled like flowers so I got him flower drinks. I had to take my time drugging them so they needed two drinks each. Anderson let me ruin plums and cinnamon for those dogs."
Ranpo took a deep breath. Carroll may have ruined these things for his victims. He might not be able to give Poe blueberry candy again. Blueberries were Poe's favorite, though, a treat he'd usually share with Karl and now he may not be able to eat them anymore.
"You said you'd tell me information too. I want the location." Ranpo told him.
"Tell me one more thing." Carroll showed his teeth.
"What?"
"Do you know my ability?"
"We know about it, not all of it. But we can always solve that question after this investigation is over." Ranpo told him.
"It isn't just drinks, you know. My presence allows a strong taste to appear on someone's tongue, it then allows me to drug whoever's taste is affected. I can drug them however I please. For our victims, I used a roofie-like drug. Do you know what roofies feel like, Ranpo?"
Green eyes twitched and Ranpo realized the game he was playing. The decision Carroll just made in the game they were playing.
"I believe we're done here for today. After all, you're probably going to be asleep for a bit." Carroll smiled, all teeth and Ranpo felt faint. He knew he could hear Dazai and Kunikida coming in to get him and he felt the ground, his head hitting way too hard and his body felt so distant.
He had just lost the game and Carroll won.
Taglist: @ pink-sweater-stan @everythingisstardust @starlightnyx @lgbtqforeverything @joylessnightsky 
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franeridart · 4 years
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Anon said: Opinions on Ochamina?
Cute soft and pink! Would be my main ship for those two if I didn’t ship seromina and ochadeku as hard as I do
Anon said: Hi there i was just wondering if its okay to ask you some questions about your art tools i work on paper a lot but i want to switch to digital art and want to know what to buy to get started you know?? if its not okay to ask thats fine, have a nice day!
I use Easy Pain Tool SAI and a wacom tablet so old I’m pretty sure they don’t even make them anymore haha if you’re just starting then anything is fine, really! The first thing you’ll need to do will be to get used to the feel of it, you won’t need anything fancy for that imho
Anon said: Yet again, I’m sleepy and feeling sappy so I luv youwu~
Awwww thank you so much!!! <3<3
Anon said: well guess who now has A LOT OF FEELINGS about Seromina after your reply? This anon. Holy, now I need like all the content about them. *goes of in search* Thank you for sharing your headcanon because it made me feel a lot of fluffy feelings!! Which yay!! I need more fluffly feelings in my life!! Also love love love your art. All of it original content and everything else (with a very soft sport for kiribaku and the bakusquad)
Ah heck thank you!!! And I’m very very glad to see I could make you see why I like them!!! :D
Anon said: how do you draw hair? i keep trying digitally, but it just seems so difficult! i tend to have so much trouble because i keep comparing myself to artists like you and the way you draw/shade/highlight hair is such a mystery to me!
Hmmmmm this is a hard question because I honestly mostly just go by gut feeling - I try to keep in mind gravity when it’s applicable (aka when it’s not gravity-defying hairstyles like kiri and baku’s)? But that’s the most conscious thought I put in it by this point. This might be an annoying advice to get but as always my only proper one is to look at real life people and study the way hair naturally falls on them, studying from real life is always the fastest way to learn how to draw something as far as my experience goes... and this one is gonna be hard but try not to compare yourself too much to others? Doing things your own way at your own pace will make the learning process a lot more fun!
Anon said: opinon on the lack of kiribaku interactions in the show recently? they have been interacting less and less since the provisional exam arc :( and even lesser in the manga. i miss my bois but bless you for the content omg😭💞
The truth is that they haven’t been the protagonists of an arc at the same time for so long that they’ve had little to no reason to interact with each other, and also that when Hori has characters interacting with them in the background it’s usually to have them reprimend them or tell them to shut up and at first they covered that role for each other but now they’re such good friends that all their interactions end up being them being nice to each other and Horikoshi needs his silly sketches thrown in the background at any possible moment so now Kaminari is the one you’ll see interacting with them the most, because he’s silly and doesn’t mind being a dick to either of them whenever given the chance. Or at least that’s the conclusion I came to after rereading the manga a couple months back. On the bright side they HAVE started interacting more again! We’ve been seeing them often just chilling together in the background, so cute, I love them best friends ;;;
Anon said: User kawaiiastar has reposted some of ur art just wanna let u know :)
Thank you for letting me know, I’ll look into it and see if I can get it removed orz
Anon said: ur drawings are so warm but like?? i just realized how much u talk in the tags and so ive been reading them and they actually add alot to ur art and its entertaining. idk just a little thing :) never stop doing krbk aus if you enjoy them!! would love to see stucky and soul eater if you can !! and i hear u about the reposters. they are all over instagram and its honestly quite upsetting. ive heard of artists that left the fandom because of it which is unfortunate. hope you are having a great day!
Hahaha I’m glad you like my talking too much in the tags since sometimes I just can’t avoid it lmao I have many things to say about my stuff most time than not..... anyway, I hope you’ll have a wonderful day too!
Anon said: i fight instagramers every day for you 💞
Thank you ;;;;;;;;
Anon said:  I love you so please stay safe!!
Thank you!!! I hope you’ll stay safe too, anon!!!
Anon said: During quarantine all I have to look forward to is your posts, it’s always great to check tumblr for the 14th time and see a new post by you.
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; heck, I’m so glad I can make this tiring time a little more pleasant to you, anon!! <3
Anon said: I have class (online) at 8am and it’s currently 3:42am yet I couldn’t stop scrolling on your page!!! I’ve been going through the tags for like 30 minutes omg. I came to look at your seromina stuff and now I’m looking at EVERYTHING. I’ve been following you for so long and I love your art so much I’m screaming! I’m literally accidentally unliking then liking everything again cuz I’ve seen it all and keep forgetting I already liked it! Your account is like food for my soul ily!!!!! Thank you sm!!!
Ahhhhh anon thank you so so much!!!! You’re so kind I’m gonna tear up TTATT please do try to sleep next time you have to wake up early!!
Anon said: I read a headcanon saying Bakugo smoked. That would never happen because Kirishima would kill him.
To be fair that would never happen because he straight up said so in the first chapter of the manga lmao but I’m of the opinion that if people want to ignore canon in their headcanons to have fun they have all the power to do so!
Anon said: Idk if you’ve been asked this before, but how do you feel about Momo x Jirou? :D and I love your art!
One of my top Jirou ships! I’ve drawn stuff for them in the past actually, they’re in my momojirou tag!
Anon said: I love you way more than it’s healthy.
Thank you ;;;;;;;;; I love you a whole damn lot too, anon <3<3
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)
YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults
ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)
hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)
> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy
back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious
no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.
yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)
YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.
hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!
hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?
wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?
no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying
<3 w.a. 🐺
sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;
yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.
i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.
abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.
anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://
HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*
i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.
i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.
it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.
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vanityloves · 3 years
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tagged by @fritillary ! The rules are to answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to get to know better/catch up with!
Five songs you’ve been listening to on repeat recently:
MONTERO (call me by your name) by lil nas x: im having a gay person church moment. amen.
Heartbreak Anniversary by Giveon: we know why. im obsessed w/ that one vid but also i like the artist
Dear Goth by Casseyette: her vocals...are amazing. idk just look at her tiktok stuff
6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro / Con) by Will Wood and the Tapeworms: his music makes me go fuckiny crazy
Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo: idk i just think theyre neat :] been listening a lot of their stuff recently
Last Movie:
Uhhh Into The Woods and i fell asleep watching Mulan HSJDJ
Currently Watching:
Im rewatching iCarly, baby! I dont really watch series if im being honest, which is weird ig like how tf do i get into things? beats me. Since quarantine ive been watching foodie drama idk why its kinda funny and sad sometimes idk.
Currently reading:
No ♡
Tagging: uhh whoever wants to do this !
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clumsyclifford · 3 years
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so i’ve lurked on ur blog for a while for the atl content but seeing that you’ve been appreciating ross lynch felt like my worlds colliding. also saw in the tags of ur last reply you’ve been listening to louder by r5 and lemme tell you. r5 was like the first band i was ever genuinely in love with. i was literally like 11 and bought louder the day after it was released. proceeded to have r5 consume like three years of my life. i saw them live Four Times as r5 (the last time being back in 2016 when i met them. gah i can’t believe it’s been that long). i was supposed to see the driver era last april before the world shut down. anyways seeing you appreciating ross and the rest of r5 just felt like very opposite interests of mine coming together. and i know so much useless info about that band. also sometime last night is def the superior r5 album, louder holds a place in my heart solely for the nostalgia but it definitely is not a like. amazing album for me at this point oops lmao. BUT the bonus track wishing i was 23 is my fav off of it!! and some of the last stuff they did as r5 (the new addictions ep & their Last Ever Single, hurts good) shows their growth and u could tell they had a lot more control over their music at that point. and what ross & rocky have been doing as the driver era is also really good!! anyways i appreciate ur blog and ur blog appreciating the first fandom i was ever part of. and i’m always excited to talk about how proud i am about how far ross & rocky have come with their music. apologies for dumping all of this here but. u talking about ross & r5 & the driver era made me v excited.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M VERY EXCITED THAT YOU’RE HERE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ROSS LYNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn okay you are IN IT i respect the hell out of that also this ask made me realize i stopped listening to louder literally in the middle of a song so i’ve now come back to it and one last dance is just finishing and wow this song is pretty????? anyway i got into driver era during quarantine times but i would LOVEEEEEEEE to see them live now i fucking love ross’s current vibes he’s like if a frat boy and a philosopher had a kid. i can’t really explain that but i stand by it
yeah well i’m only listening to louder because it’s their first album and when i want to get into a new artist i try to listen more or less in chronological order? but i’ve heard a few songs from sometime last night which i really enjoyed and i can also def see how this album (louder) is like.......it’s really fun but i wouldn’t say it’s super profound. like it’s pop music! and i really love it! and it has ross lynch singin on it!! that’s all i have to say about it !!!! that’s all you need sometimes :) i am looking forward to getting deeper into the discography and hearing the more recent stuff because even just from like the album art it seems like they did have more control or at least that they just grew and matured and that’s always sexy to see. i’ll keep you posted i don’t know when i’ll listen to sometime last night cos new music always a little difficult especially these days like this is the first new music ive listened to in maybe a week 
you KNOW WHAT. wishing i was 23 is not on spotify. what the fuck kinda CRIME???? why would they release a deluxe version of the album but not include the bonus tracks!! so maybe if i get around to listening to it on youtube or something ill let you know
however i am REALLY into the driver era (actually i have @cakelftv and @glitterblazercalum to thank for getting me into them but man am i glad they did) can i ask what your favorites are anon!! at the moment mine are preacher man, scared of heights, a kiss ?? i think? and welcome to the end of your life?? yeah
anyway i appreciate YOU coming here to validate my ross lynch infatuation i’m so glad that austin & ally has brought us together anon it really is all thanks to me just binge watching the whole show in about two and a half days also if you wanna drop more r5-related information i am always open to hearing about it i just watched both of rydel’s sibling tag videos that was some good good shit god i love the relationship the five of them have (i know ryland wasnt in r5 but like. you get me you know what i mean)
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madhyanas · 4 years
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WIP Tag
ah this is hella late, but i was tagged by the lovely @datmando​ a WHILE ago, so. here this is.
this is NOT part of the ‘canon’ hospitality series, just something i started for fun and might never finish lmao. but i’m still including the hospitality taglist, since this was written with that universe in mind. if there’s demand for it, who knows ;) might post it as a side piece, or something.
tldr; this is an unfinished sex pollen fic, with paz. enjoy.
[warnings: nsfw under the cut! dub-con, by the nature of the sex pollen trope. very very suggestive themes, but it’s just a WIP, so no real action yet.]
———
Oh, something’s not right.
You stumble up the ship’s hatch, glad to finally be back on board the Hawk IV. The air is thick, muggy, and no matter how many gasping breaths you try to take, it’s like you can’t get enough oxygen.
Blindly, you grasp onto whatever railing or handhold you can, half-slumped against the wall. Your limbs knock into spare crates and storage units; it’s a wonder you’re still standing.
Maker, why is everything spinning? Nothing makes sense. Your vision is hazy, and there’s an intense burning behind your eyes. Your mouth is dry as you lean against the doorway to the cockpit.
The pilot’s seat turns towards you, revealing a familiar, steely-blue set of armour. “Did you get everything?” Paz rumbles teasingly. “You took longer than usual. I was almost worr—” He stops abruptly, straightening his shoulders, and his voice sobers. “Ruusaan?”
You don’t think the cockpit should be swaying like this, swirling and shifting like fogged breath in the air. The arm propping you upright slips, and you feel yourself tumble downwards. The pilot’s chair squeals in your periphery, and suddenly there’s a broad arm coming to catch you at the waist before you hit the cold, metal floor.
He says your name urgently, before repeating, “Ruusaan.” You groan as a gloved hand turns your face up to his helmet. “What happened? Are you injured? Wounded?”
You shake your head. Somehow, you manage to slur out the words, “A package. Spilt in the market. Powder went everywhere. S’just some dust, but—” You cut off with a whine into his chest plate. “Somethin’s not right, Paz, I feel…”
Your legs clench together involuntarily, the slick of your arousal felt starkly through your clothes. You’ve been aching for it, anything, since the marketplace, and your addled mind had only screamed one thing.
Paz.
The feeling of his gaze, the tingle on the back of your neck — it’s nothing compared to the delirium you’re drowning in. Pulling you under its warm, wet depths, a fog of desperation falling over your mind. The pressure of your trousers, faint as it is, brushes against your clit deliciously. You’re quaking; everything feels so hot, so tight. It takes everything in you to not grind on his thigh then and there, just to take what little pleasure you can.
His visor tilts upwards, and you know he can see the remnants of the violet powder scattered throughout your hair, across your shirt and trousers.
Shit, you weren’t supposed to do this. You saw how fast that dust got to people; you meant to keep your distance. Get back to the ship to quarantine yourself, disinfect in the fresher.
But all you can feel is the sturdy weight of Paz’s forearm wrapped around you, the grip on your waist tightening in worry. You bite your lip to stifle the moans as he holds your limp body against his larger frame.
“Some kinda stimulant. An— an amatory agent. I think.” Your trembling fingers move of their own accord to tug on the straps of his cuirass weakly.
Paz is still silent. By now, the frenzied heat in your core has washed over your mind, but a small part of you still lingers with doubt. Maker, this is an infection.
“Vosca?” you ask weakly. If anything happens to her…
The mention of the little Zeltron girl spurs him to words. “At the covert, with the other foundlings.” You breathe a sigh of relief, and you slump heavily in his hold. “Hey. Hey. Eyes open, Ruusaan.”
He sweeps you into a carry, one arm under your back, the other under your knees. The ease with which he can manhandle you makes your breathing hitch, lashes fluttering wildly. Swiftly making his way to the ‘fresher — a logical choice, but you can’t stand the burning desire swelling in your lower belly. Logical is the last thing you need right now.
“Stop,” you ask softly, and he does. “I need it.” His arms clench. “Maker, I can’t stop thinking about it. I— I need it, Paz. Please, anything. It’s so hot, and— and I need something. You. Maker, please.”
“It’s not right,” he says after a moment, voice hoarse through the modulator. “I can’t… Not while you’re like this—”
His hesitation sparks renewed frustration, and you release a guttural noise, half-moan, half-sob. A shudder wracks his frame at the sound. You’re not entirely gone, yet, so you decide give him an out, once and for all.
Opening your eyes fully, you swallow, and stare at him through the visor. “If you don’t want to, I understand. We’ve— We don’t really do it that often, anyway, I get it. Leave me in the fresher, I’ll… I’ll take care of it. Myself.”
A ragged breath crackles from the helmet, raw and desperate.
“But if you do want it,” you croak, desperately hoping he does, “Then lay me down.” In some pathetic, wanton move to convince him, you snake a hand round the back of his helm and pull it towards you. In a breathy whisper, right where his ear would be, you blurt exactly what you’re thinking. “I want your cock in me, Paz. Fuck. Maker, just fuck me, please, I’m so wet for you. I need you to use me, please, I want it—”
Paz makes a thunderous sound of frustration, before marching straight through the passageway to his quarters.
———
translations:
Ruusaan - ‘reliable one’; a popular female name in Mando’a
———
hospitality taglist: @pikapuff316 @theocatkov @starlite41 @corrupt-fvcker @abysshaven @shadylightbearherring @faith71504 @justrunamok @datmando @lackofhonor
no pressure wip tags: @vercopaanir @jangofctts @justrunamok
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chromolume · 3 years
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10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags tagged by @theburialofstrawberries. shreya im not sure we’ve talked before but your blog is great and ur substack is baller
ok but idk what to make of the word fandom here bc i dont post much about characters. i think ill do tv shows ive watched over quarantine
1. noemie in call my agent - sometimes small characters are so evocatively written and performed that you instinctively feel they have a deep internal life, even as ur frustrated by how little of it you can actually grasp. noemie is like that and the result was that i felt lucky whenever i saw her onscreen. her character is a mix of flighty strangeness and absolute ordinariness that i find really grounded and endearing. theres a depth that comes from those contradictory currents of conformity. she also gets to be quite sexual and i think it adds a lot to her character to have an independent desire, esp as an older woman. im also in love with the actress laure calamy. 10/10
2. retsuko in aggretsuko - the characters in this show also evoke little sparks of individuality within ordinary people, or maybe people who have been worn down into ordinariness. as a character, retsuko can seem a bit gimmicky. shes a hello kitty-type bear who TWIST is an ordinary office worker at a company who TWIST impeccably conceals a burning rage which she releases thru death metal karaoke. but she’s totally, almost miraculously grounded. what i find compelling about her is that she appears a person (bear) who doesnt examine herself, and so is particularly susceptible to the influence of others. she’s also not a particularly special person. she doesnt have talents, an intellect or a sense of self to really distinguish her, and as a result she becomes what society forms her to be: a polite office worker who expects to get married. and never questioning this, from day to day she feels a barely suppressible rage. there’s a great plot in season 2 when she falls into a relationship with an unconventional man. she’s in love with him, but he tells her that he doesnt want to get married. for the first time, retsuko has to examine her own desire to get married. and the compelling part is that she decides to be conventional, but purposefully this time. i thought it was a really interesting arc for the character. again u cant help but love her 
3. gori in aggretsuko - she’s like an upper management hyper competent, hyper feminine gorrilla with a strong sense of self and an instinct to panic. love her, want her to be my mom
4. margaret thatcher in the crown - i didnt LIKE this character per se but it is so much better evidence for why i think the crown is camp than i ever could have hoped for
you know what that was grasping at straws. i think its time to end this list
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livinginalandfill · 3 years
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Simblr Community Challenge by @amelettes
Tagged by: @seaslugsims  and @unasyns thank you sage and asha <3
1.How long have you been playing The Sims?
Probably about 2 years now :3
2.How long have you been a simblr, and why did you become one?
Ive had my simblr since March 2020, so def a quarantine hobby. I just needed a place to show off my simz which snowballed into me having this trash blog lol. 
3. What type of simblr are you?
I mainly do edits (and shitpost alot lol). I legit only use TS4 for CAS. I dont do any type of gameplay so hehe. Its a glorified dress up game for me huhu.
4. Which generation of Sims do you primarily play?
I only play TS4.
Tag: @moontaart, @gatheringgloom, @simminglytimeladies, @death-plays-the-sims-4
(ignore if ya want lol)
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dailyorbulon · 4 years
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thanks for 2 years!!!
wow hi! ive been meaning to make a post like this since december 2018 (its still so surreal to me that ive been running this blog for 2 years) but i got distracted by a lot of stuff...
i just wanna say thank you! thank you thank you thank you all so much for supporting me all this time! never in a million years would i think i would get this much attention (or any attention at all lol) so... genuinely thank you all so much.
i just wanna ramble about some personal stuff about this blog but ill put it on a read more bc its... kinda long lol
but tl;dr thank you all so much for 2 years of orbulon! lets try to keep going!
my main blog is @sqlatoon, my twitter is @booparoos! im more active on twitter!
my art blog is @booparoos ! i dont post very often bc im still shy lol
its so mind blowing to me about how ive drawn orbulon over 700 times and almost every day (its been pretty hectic lately in my brain cause of quarantine) its crazy how this blog all started from a silly little stress doodle i did at 2 am. sometimes ill scroll through the archive of this blog and think, wow, IM the person who drew all of these??
running this blog has helped me so much! my art has improved a lot, and it gives some consistency and structure in my life, reminding me to post every day, (even when my sleep schedule is majorly messed up haha)
...but in all seriousness, running this blog helped me so much back when i first started in august 2018. during that time i was going through the most depressive period of my life. getting up in the morning for school was hard, and i struggled so much to stay awake after getting home because it was so hard just... being alive.
ive used media as a coping method for a very long time, and warioware gold was what i was currently hyperfixating on. my school notebooks and drawing software was full of little doodles of orbulon since he was my favorite character. i always wanted to make a daily doodle blog, so i thought, hell, why not make one for orbulon, so i swallowed up my anxiety, made this blog, and posted.
and i was amazed by the number of people who liked it. drawing something silly for this blog during class, coming up with silly scenarios to draw orbs in, and making myself stay awake so i could draw and post something, that really kept me going through the day. i could honestly say this blog saved my life lol
reading your tags, seeing the notes, getting your asks... they all brightened up my day and they still do. i really cant say it enough. all your interactions really do mean so much to me. some of my favorite artists have even reblogged my posts which is just... incredible to me. everytime someones says something nice or compliments my art i cry a lil bit ;w;
getting a little personal again, ive always been extremely insecure about posting my art/showing it to other people (i still am) but this blog has made me more confident! people have been asking since 2018 if i had an art blog and i finally made one! the url is @booparoos !
to think that my silly little doodles about this alien from a small nintendo franchise could make other people so happy... that they could inspire people to start drawing... god that just fills me with so much joy. thank you again.  my warioware fixation is long gone by now, but i stlil love this little alien to death. im currently going into my second year of college, and i dont know how long im going to be able to run this blog. but for sure ill be on this hell site until it crashes and burns into the ground lol... you guys and our favorite little alien mean so much to me <3
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