#which means i cant listen to it around midnight

[horse-shit]

yknow sometimes it's kinda funny to say what the 'bare bones' of my maternal issues are

"oh did she hit you and punish you severely?" "no, she cared too much"

[cutexlr]

Privacy

Summary: Your highly powerful father hired Six to guard you at your home while he was out of the country. Six doesn’t speak much but that doesn’t mean he’ll give you privacy. All you want is to release some pint up energy due to being locked up in your residence.

Warnings: afab reader, masturbation, vibrator, getting caught, age gap, cursing, pervert!six, oral (fem receiving), jerking off, praise, talking you through it

Six has lived with me for some time. He was hired by my father to protect me at all costs while he was out of the country. By what I’ve been told, he’s the best in his agency and he will do anything to protect the thing he’s guarding.

The only downside to this is that I cant leave the house. At first, it was no big deal and it was even relaxing in a way. But after a few weeks I was starting to get restless. I needed to do something, anything that involved social interaction. Six wasn’t much help with that whatsoever.

I’ve convinced Six to join me in everyday tasks, like eating breakfast or even watching a movie. He’ll speak only few words if necessary. Which doesn’t stop me from rambling, venting out all my problems while he’ll sit and listen.

On this particular day, the house was quiet. It was one of those days where me and him kept our distance. I stayed curled up in my bed, the boredom becoming stronger. I could sense he was near, doing some rounds around the house and guarding every possible entry way.

The boredom let my mind wonder, I started to think more about Six. The lingering moments we would have at night, him eyeing me as I got a midnight snack in my skimpy pajamas. Or brushing against him as I walked past to return to bed. I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. His facial expressions gave away nothing and I was at a complete loss.

I couldn’t help but squeeze my thighs together, thinking about what it would be like for his big hands to touch me all over. I thought about the vibrator I purchased before this whole ordeal. I felt embarrassed, to get myself off while he was just outside my room, protecting me.

I crawled out of bed and went to my dresser, opening the top drawer and digging for the hidden toy. Eager, I jumped right back into bed, not even bothering to get under the covers. I set the toy to low, putting it over my silk shorts. I hummed quietly, moving my hips against the vibration of the toy. I turned it up, I wasn’t use to the intensity of the vibration. I got lost in the moment, not thinking about my surroundings.

Not until I heard the floor creak. I jumped at the sound, at the door stood Six.

“Get out!” I squeal, putting the toy behind me.

He tilted his head, amused by my behavior.

“Didn’t you hear me? Leave!” I huff, putting my head in my hands.

He shook his head, “hm hm”, he closed the door.

“What’re you doing?” I asked curiously, watching his figure move over to the bed.

“Give it.” He Held his hand out, indicating he wanted the vibrator.

My face turned pink out of embarrassment, I did what he asked. I could barely look at him.

Six put the toy at his side, guarding it. He put a hand on my knee, “come ‘ere.” His hands grabbed both of my knees, pulling me closer. “Six-“ he interrupted me, “you wanna show me something?”

“Show what?” I pouted, unamused by the mocking.

“Show me how you fuck yourself” he hummed, his voice low and sweet with a hint of condescension. He watched my expression, “don’t get embarrassed now.”

“But I cant.” I shake my head, “not allowed to.”

He turned the toy on, putting it against my clothed clit. I gasped, “don’t-“

“Gotta keep it a secret ok? Just between you and me” his breath hitched, fixated on what he was doing.

I think for a moment, what harm could it be? “Okay…” I nod, “want you to play with me.”

“Fuck-“ he let out a low groan, “wanna see how wet this is making you hun, let’s get these off.” Six pulled my bottoms off, his eyes never leaving my body.

He disregarded the toy for a moment, going down to my pussy. He started sucking on my clit. “Six!” I gasped, he took me by surprise. “Please-“ he grabbed my thighs and put them on his shoulders.

“Tastes so good honey” he sighed, his tongue fucking me desperately.

I whimpered, grabbing at his hair and tugging. Six clearly enjoyed this as he moved his hips against the bed.

“See what you turn me into?” He looked up at me, “so fucking desperate and horny.” Six sat up, grabbing the toy again.

“Why’d you stop?” I whine, wanting his tongue again.

“Because” he took a moment to catch his breath, “I’m gonna fuck you with this” six holds the toy up, “and you’re gonna touch me okay?” His tone was gentle, almost perverted.

I nod, “okay.” His mouth quirked up slightly, a smirk forming, “such a good girl, now lay back for me.”

Six stood up, undoing the belt of his trousers and fly. “I’m gonna stand right here, and I’m gonna fuck your hand m’kay?”

“Yes” I blush, “I’ll do anything”

“Good” he rubbed his cock through his boxers with one hand and switched the toy back on with the other. He put the toy inside me, hitting that spot.

“Shit- it’s too much” I whimper, the toy’s setting on high.

“Shh” he pulled his cock out, “you can take it.”

I arched my back, taking in the sensation. I took him in my hand, jerking him off slowly.

He cursed under his breath. He mumbled, “keep going, you’re fucking me good.”

“Don’t stop! Please- fuck” I moaned, he thrusts the toy in and out, while I go faster with him. He moved his hips, fucking my hand.

“Jesus- keep going any faster and I’ll cum” he groans.

“Uh Huh” i close my eyes, “please let me cum, let me have it”

“Yeah? You want it? Cum for me” he fucked me with the toy harder.

“I’m coming ” I squirm, my orgasm rushing over me, letting myself release.

“Oh fuck” he couldn’t hold back himself, “gonna cum on your fucking face.” I let go, and he started jerking his cock through his orgasm. His cum dripping onto my face. “Look so pretty like that” he sighed, “never gonna give you privacy again doll.”

[scrunckled-idiot]

(chat please it took me so long to figure this out)

So uhhg ughm uh-

I got the idea of A survival tf2 horror game based off this post by @the-sound-of-progress (bbg please you haven’t posed in 8 months ☹)

Like my brain is fucked so I like um i- ghuh just hear my idea out please chat-

So the premise of the game is to steal a randomised amount of randomised weapons (min 10 to 15) scattered around the battlefield in 25 or something minuets while giant medic stalks around. Like the game description would be something like:

“what was going to be just a quick and easy heist of stealing some valuable weapons from that freaky base near your town, turns into a deadly game of cat and mouse. as the bases medic has found an interesting way to defend the base at night. Stay out of sight and evade his clutches as you navigate the abandoned battlefield, collect all weapons, and escape back to your vehicle.”

Or something. Like I kept thinking of game mechanics, unique death animations, and achievements for it to. Damn fucking autism. Like firstly how medic would function based on the images.

Medics mechanics and how to counter them:

medic is giant, which means he’ll be slow, right? Makes sense so you could probably outrun him… as long as your sprint meter doesn’t run out. (refillable with MRE packs). In that case, try and take cover in the nearest building.

You’re still not safe yet if you hide in a building. Either medic will wait until you come out (random chance that he will or not), which you can tell he is or not by listening for his breathing or watching for his shadow. Or he’ll try to reach his hand inside and grab you, counter this by pressing against the wall next to the opening.

If you’re atop of a building, he will try to swipe at you or use his bone saw to slash over the roof. Just go further to the middle of the roof to avoid them or just duck.

If he does manage to grab you, time will slow down and you will have a 5 second window to mash the jump button to “wiggle free” or something.

you can bait him to go somewhere else by using walkie talkies. can only use this trick a minimum amount of times before he learns ts a trick.

tid-bits:

At the end of the game it will tell you the total cost of the weapons you stole was, how long it took you, how many MRE packs you ate, and other cool stuff perhaps.

He will hide behind corners of buildings and jump out at you. No counter to this, just a cool jumpscare while he laughs like a fucking madman.

Some Cool and unique death scenes when you’re caught. depending on range:

Long range: shooting a big-ass needle at you from his crossbow, throwing a boulder at you.

Close range: stomped to death, crushed to death, eaten, getting picked up and thunder-cunted into the stratosphere like a baseball, sliced by his bone saw, getting carried away in a comically sized jar.

Player will restart in the spawn rooms or back at the gate if they die.

You’ll know he’s near when the ground starts quaking.

ending cutscene will either have you successfully drive away after stealing the required amount of weapons, or have medic stomp your car while you try to escape if you don't steal the required amounts of weapons. or a secret ending where he follows you home and kills you since you've seen too much (canon ending). not sure what triggers the endings yet.

THERE IS A TIME LIMIT SO YOU CANT CAMP IT OUT PUSSY!!!

Achievements (shitty names tbh someone come up with something better ong):

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away- don’t die once during the whole run

monk diet- don’t eat a single MRE pack during the whole run.

Wiggly woo- escape medics grasp every time you’re caught.

by the skin of your teeth- escape with the good ending.

midnight snack- get the bad ending

you didn't see anything- get the secret ending

Uhhhh… some other ones I cant think of yet. sorry :(

I wanted to do voice lines as well but I couldn’t do it, felt cringe. He’d mostly just use voice lines from the game anyway. Typical laughter and taunts. And Probably some cool things that im not creative enough to think about. Maybe deaths will also have a zestier variant just to awaken something in someone. But ye, just something I came up with within the span of a day. Now wanting this to be real and not fiction :( maybe some kids doing game design in my collage will bring my idea to life? Idk man no promises.

Thank you for listening to me autistically ramble about my tf2 g/t horror game pitch. that is all.

Well, off to hang myself! Watch and lear-

*gak*

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

it’s midnight and i just. i have this stuck in my head.

steve who’s used to every little disagreement turning into a big fight so he snaps/yells at reader and when they don’t return that fight and just kind of shutdown steve panics and feels so so guilty

my love you hit me in the soft spot. i cry so hard whenever anyone even slightly yells at me.

tw: not a lot but i thought id put one to make sure everyones safe <3: bit of a disagreement, reader with vague past relationship trauma if you squint, sensitive reader, anxious reader, oblivious steve, in love steve, steve in general. if anything from above is something you cant handle right now thats perfectly okay and ill see you next time!

steve is very very very gentle. hes calm and collected and mostly rational. so arguments are extremely rare.

but today steve was tired. oh so tired. and he missed you. so much. so when you were being almost silent on the car ride home from the bi-weekly dinner with the kids, robin and eds, he was freaking out.

the waitress was very subtly flirting with him. in a way where only the girls at the table knew what was going on.

of course steve had no interest in her, for gods sake. he didnt even look at her for more than two seconds.

you werent mad at him. no, he handled it very well. he passed all the tests. you were just sad. comparing yourself to the blonde waitress. thinking about how many people want him that you dont even know about. the little voice in your head saying “why does he want you?” and looking for signs of infidelity, coming back emptyhanded as always, shamefully reminding you that hes not your past relationships.

so no you werent mad at him. you were mad at you.

but we all know hes a little bit… slow sometimes. so that doesnt even occur to him.

what if you lost interest in him? what if you think hes annoying? why are you mad at him?

his fears only heightening when you give him a small smile when he opens the front door for you, instantly heading to the kitchen to get some water, hoping itll make you feel better.

“whats your problem tonight?”

oh.

“…what?” and you stare directly down at the countertop because you can already feel yourself tearing up at his tone.

“what do you mean ‘what?’. youve been acting weird since we left.”

he really doesnt mean for it to sound so angry, if you listened a little closer you might be able to hear the desperation in his voice.

“…the waitress”

“what?”

“she was flirting with you.

“what?”

he throws his head back and puts his hands to his face in exasperation. before realizing that youre a little too quiet… and shaking?

his tone brought back memories and fear. fear that he would just find someone else since you were bothering him. and youd be left alone again, but only this time unable to pick up the pieces.

and now hes horrified because he didnt mean to sound angry, he was just frustrated and didnt even think about how sensitive his girl was to things like that.

but you were too far gone now. your ears ringing and your breath escaping you. fighting back tears with every bone in your body, and losing said fight.

and so you turned around to look at him. and your eyes betray you once more. instantly filling with tears that make steves face drop and heart fall.

“m’sorry steve” but your voice falters and breaks before the first sob racks through your body, walking as quickly as you can to his bedroom to clean yourself up.

HES FREAKING OUT SO BAD

he feels absolutely awful. poor man starts crying too, but makes himself stop for his apology, not wanting to scare you further.

following behind you and knocking on his own door.

“babydoll, can i come in?”

youre standing in front of his mirror. eyes puffy and red and shaking. you knew steve wouldnt leave. you knew he wasnt like that. but you were crying anyways, which only made you cry more out of embarrassment.

“…yeah” you call weakly, still not looking up as he opens the door.

his arms are around you instantaneously

“‘m so sorry baby i didnt mean to sound angry, i wasnt thinking. im sorry.”

“its okay, im sorry i-”

“no, you have nothing to be sorry for. you’re allowed to get sad. theres nothing wrong with it, id never judge you for that. i was just being… stupid cause i didnt get it y’know? i mean i literally am horrifyingly in love with you. im like obsessed with you… not in a weird way…. anyways! and i get jealous all the time. like everyday, even over small things. that barista the other day? coulda killed that guy. y’had me studying how to make lattes babe.”

and of course youre giggling. his polo shirt saturated with tears and pure joy.

“i love you so much.”

“i love you most. i know you dont really think id look at anyone but you, right? but if you need confirmation i will go and take back the tip we gave that lady.”

more giggles.

and that was the difference. steve embraced your sensitivity. he loved it actually. loved the way you care about things. love the way you pick up on energies before anyone else. loves everything about you. including some of the not so pretty things.

[luwukass]

OKAY TRACKLIST BREAKDOWN!!!!

so i have now had breakfast and coffee and my brain is on and FUNCTIONING lets get into this

putting a break here incase youre scrolling and dont wanna read all of this lol

so first things first i was watching tiktok and people were making a big deal about how its split up into sides similarly to midnights now i do believe that taylor posted the back cover of the vinyl and that the cd will be different but i could be wrong. even if it is split up like this on purpose on every physical copy this does mean that it is a two LP album instead of one like midnights

one vinyl (both sides) can hold up to 44 minutes of music on it so we can roughly estimate that the full album will be about an hour and a half long now if each side is 22 minutes long each track on side a, b and c should be about (if each song is in equal length) 5 and a half minutes long. side d has 5 songs on it so some of those might be short to fit in the manuscript

i have also seen people compare this back cover to the back cover of lover which is absolutely breaking my heart and im sure thats not gonna be the last lover comparison i see about this album

okay so lets dive into this track by track

SIDE A

track one: Fortnight (feat Post Malone)

okay so first of all this is obviously not a reference to fortnite the video game but i think all of those jokes are funny as hell. the fortnight shes talking about here is a reference to the measurement of time as seen down below google states that fortnight is a british term for two weeks.

according to wikipedia fortnight is derived from the old english term fēowertiene niht, meaning "fourteen nights".

now onto post malone i actually listen to some of his music from time to time. he mostly does do rap but his most recent album austin (which is coincidentally also taylors brothers name, but is also post malones real name) is listed on google as alternative rock, indie pop and synth-pop. so im unsure of what vibe post will bring to the track. i think its also surprising she placed one of the two collabs as the opening track. i think the vibe for this track will probably be either a story about what happened in a certain two week period or about what is going to happen in two weeks from the songs time standpoint (if that makes sense lol)

track two: The Tortured Poets Department

A TITLE TRACK!!!! now obviously we dont know much about the album yet so we cant really try and figure out what the title track will be about so im just gonna do a little yippee for having a title track

track three: My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

this is a Whole fucking title good lord the only thing that really comes to mind when i think of this title is the lyric in better than revenge where she says “soon shes gonna find stealing other peoples toys on the playground wont make you many friends” which is if im not forgetting anything the only lyric as of now where she’s referred to being someones partner as someones “toy” but that lyric itself is a metaphor for relationships being playing on a playground. this will probably be a sad or angry song about how her ‘boy’ goes around breaking/hurting his favorite ‘toy’ aka taylor

track four: Down Bad

okay now down bad if you dont know is a slang term to describe how badly you have fallen for someone (mostly used in a more sexual nature in my experience than romantic) so this song will probably be about how badly she is for the love interest of the song

SIDE B

track five: So Long, London

alright new track five lets go! so this is obviously seeming to be a reference to track 11 on lover, london boy. now like taylor said when she announced it this album has been a secret for two years so we dont know when these songs were written or who they are about but i feel like it is safe to say this song and most of the other will be about said london boy [i personally do not care who a song is about and it is not taylors job to tell us who a song is about and that isnt the point of her music, but i will be commenting on the joe breakup bc that seems to be a large idea of this album so far] i can see this probably being about the break up and possibly sampling some music from london boy like she did with cornelia street and youre losing me

track six: But Daddy I Love Him

okay so the first thing i thought of when i read this track title is the scene from the little mermaid where ariel is fighting with her dad over the eric statue and im gonna be honest i dont remember the plot points in order of this movie BUT i do remember when taylor dressed up as ariel for her new years party in 2019. so given what we know this will probably be a song about maybe her fighting/arguing with her dad over how much she loves the love interest of the song regardless of who he is/how he treats her

track seven: Fresh Out The Slammer

okay so im not sure what this song will be about bc i dont think taylor has ever been to jail before so it would probably be metaphorical type of “im back bitches” type of song im assuming this might be a bass heavy maybe more rock leaning song and if it is a “im back bitches” it might be about the amount of time she was single for with the ‘slammer’ being her old relationship

track eight: Florida!!! (feat Florence and the Machine)

alright so as we all know this album has been in the works at least for two years but we dont know when each song was written so take this with a grain of salt but the tampa eras tour shows were the first shows after the news of the joe breakup dropped. so this song might be about her feelings during those shows. for those that want to know these were the surprise songs for the tampa shows in order.

night one: speak now and treacherous

night two: the great war and youre on your own kid

night three: mad woman and mean

SIDE C

track nine: Guilty as Sin?

okay so my main curiosity about this track is the question mark in the title because guilty as sin isnt much of a thought provoking title to me but that fact that its a question is interesting. the current vibes im getting are that this might be a more sexy song? but i have no idea here

track ten: Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

okay so THIS is giving big taunting energy like “aww who would ever be afraid of little ol me 🥺 youre afraid of me?” which im Hoping thats what the vibes are bc that would HIT but i can also see it being completely different as well

track eleven: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

oh my GOD this one sounds like its gonna be sad. so this is obviously a reference to the common seen online phrase “i can/could fix him” which as ive seen is normally used towards people who are attracted to hot fictional characters that usually have a lot of emotional baggage or are villains (i saw it a lot when ballad of songbirds and snakes came out about young snow) so this song will probably be about her promising that she Can fix him and really will despite ‘him’ being broken or maybe even possibly a bad partner

track twelve: loml

so i saw and rb a post earlier about how its very interesting that this is already an acronym which i completely agree with because taylor knows we are no strangers to turning her song titles into acronyms. so loml does usually mean love of my life but i think because its already an acronym it might be something different (i saw someone earlier say it might be loss of my life instead of love)

SIDE D

track thirteen: I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

this one i think will kill me personally. i think this one will probably be about her continuing to go on with life (and possibly the eras tour) post joe break up i think this one will either be a sad song or a light beat ‘picking myself up on my feet’ song

track fourteen: The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

this has so many implications but personally i think the interpretation shes gonna use for this song will be about how the said man is small emotionally and just as a person (i doubt she will talk about physical shortness in height or other areas)

track fifteen: The Alchemy

now im gonna be so real here i have no idea what this one will be about google says that alchemy is an older version of chemistry so maybe she will talk about the chemistry or alchemy she has in her relationships?

track sixteen: Clara Bow

alright Clara Bow! okay so i dont know much about old hollywood so i am NOT the person to deep dive into what this song will be about but all i do know about her is that she was The “It” girl of the silent film era so im assuming this song will probably be like the lucky one and talk about the rise to stardom and being the Biggest Star Of The Time

track seventeen(bonus track): The Manuscript

alright so after looking at the definition of a manuscript this is the PERFECT bonus track?!!?!?! so a manuscript is normally a piece of work that is written or typed out but isnt officially published which is just genius for having it be a bonus track that probably wont be on streaming (if not for a long time) i have no idea what itll be about but i love that mastermind

that’s pretty much all of my thoughts as of currently PLEASE let me know what yall think and what theories yall have for this album i am SO excited for april 19th 💕

[probsnothawkeye]

I meant to post this before midnight but got caught up in things anyway its my birthday and here is a list of some of my favorite podcasts I listened to in my 23rd year of life

Starting off with @ethicstownpod because we *have* to start with Ethics town it's so important and I love it so much. I will never forgive Louis for what they did but it is literally so worth the heartache <3 Ethics Town will hurt you! And you will thank it!

Up next is the Technomancy Project which fully rewrote my brain this year I absolutely adore this so so much. Its got magic! And science! And horror! And found family! It's the highlight of my month every month!

Sticking with the Faustian Nonsense train, we have Super Suits which is fun and funny and original and doesn't stab me in the chest, it just makes me laugh and I love it

Back to pain town, @tellnotalespod is phenomenal and magical and OW! I love Leo with my whole heart and cant wait to see what comes next from this show

Tiny Terrors started a couple weeks after I turned 23 and stayed with me all of the past year I love the Shed Gang and the frightening things they put me through. Perogi haunts me to this day <3

@liarsandleechespod came into my life swinging and making me cry at my desk. A beautiful story of grief that also contains horror elements that remain implanted in my brain it's just a spectacular show

@kingmakerpod has a trio of criminals I love with my whole heart and a magical world that absolutely fascinates me I adore it so much

@224bbaker reawakened my love of Sherlock Holmes by giving me an even more enjoyable detective team Fawx & Stallion is one hell of a show that you don't want to miss

I can and have written so much about @devisercast which was an earthshattering podcast I listened to this year that is still banging around in my brain and demanding I feel all the emotions from it. Its so so so good

This is not a complete list by any means but these were just a few of my favorite podcasts I listened to at 23

Since it's past midnight, I'm officially 24! 24 is definitely going to bring more excellent podcasts my way and I can't wait to listen to them

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde

Act 6, page 5398

DAVE: whats up with the fish punk troll following kanaya around

ROSE: Seems she's passing through. Kanaya doesn't want her to cause trouble.

DAVE: cause trouble

DAVE: what the fuck could she even do here

DAVE: like kick over an old pile of garbage and cause the property value to fall even lower than jack shit

DAVE: i say let her go nuts

ROSE: Feel free to take it up with Kanaya.

ROSE: But if you authorize her to flip a bitch, just make sure she's nowhere near my chemistry table.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: cant be droppin your vials and shit all over the floor

DAVE: the only one whos got clearance to drop science is me

ROSE: Dork.

DAVE: dont even hate

DAVE: been shoring up my muthafuckin CRAFT over here

ROSE: I know. I've been in the same room, right over there, listening to you mumble lyrics to yourself for the last couple hours.

DAVE: rose you know what sucks

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: To which sucky thing are you referring?

DAVE: it kinda just occurred to me

DAVE: while i was spitting ill verse to no end

DAVE: i got this weird feeling that i might be getting like

DAVE: a little dated?

ROSE: Is this about Terezi?

DAVE: what

DAVE: no no

DAVE: dont be disingenuous word girl you know what im saying

DAVE: i mean sorta passe

DAVE: like a lumbering pop reference dinosaur

DAVE: remember we are both kind of stuck in 2009

DAVE: so im like popculturally frozen in that period

DAVE: all my references feel like they might be getting a little stale

DAVE: even though the earth ended and all and there was no culture after that point anyway

DAVE: but still

DAVE: i can feel it

DAVE: like in my bones

DAVE: i just know on some hypothetical earth that kept going my shit is starting to get so lame

DAVE: and i know it doesnt matter because its just us here so who cares

DAVE: but i care

DAVE: its a matter of integrity i am a fucking artist

DAVE: like i think if i make one more rap about like some fucking dane cook movie from 2008 to piss karkat off or some tired bullshit like that im going to

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: ill just start feeling like a fraud

DAVE: my game might be drying up rose

DAVE: but its not my fault like im totally hostage to this freezedried backlog of cultural garbage that can never move forward again

DAVE: so i have to pick through it like im looting a fucking tomb while still all tryin to act RAP SASSY

DAVE: like YEAH take THAT motherfuckers

DAVE: OF THE PAST

DAVE: all in your mass graves somewhere in a dead frogiverse

DAVE: i be representing some god damn STANDARDS about your media do you feel me

DAVE: im depressing myself here

DAVE: all im saying is it would be cool to have some fresh shit to work with

DAVE: like just to know

DAVE: to know what the world would be like in the year it would be for us now

DAVE: which would be 2011 i guess

DAVE: wow 2011 really

DAVE: damn

DAVE: i just want to know what would have happened

DAVE: theres so much shit we were primed for

DAVE: it was gonna be exciting

DAVE: like barack obama just turned president remember that

DAVE: we never got to see if he fixed the economy

DAVE: remember how you were dying to see if he would fix the economy you were asking me about it every damn day

DAVE: just joking nobody gave a shit about that

DAVE: but like

DAVE: i never got to check out the next batch of stiller jams and see how bad i could mock them

DAVE: we never got to find out how the midnight crew adventure ended

DAVE: if ever

DAVE: rose

DAVE: ROSE??

DAVE: what the fuck man

DAVE: whyd you go back to your bottles and shit i was right in the thick of hella elocution

DAVE: dont give me that

DAVE: yes

DAVE: uh yeah

DAVE: yes i do ACTUALLY want you to come back over here

DAVE: im waiting

ROSE: Fine. Here I am.

DAVE: wow was that so hard

DAVE: this is what civilized people do rose they fucking talk to each other like actually in each others fucking vicinities

ROSE: You just have a tendency to go on for a while. I assumed we progressed to the traditional mumbling monologue stage of Striderian discourse.

DAVE: no thats not even a thing

DAVE: i was actually like

DAVE: trying to get your take

ROSE: Take on what.

DAVE: i dont even know

DAVE: i bet john would have stuff to say

DAVE: hes probably going through the same frozen fucking caveman from 2009 syndrome as me

DAVE: actually what am i saying the dude is a caveman from 1997

DAVE: hahaha like he could give a shit as long as hes got his cage dvds

ROSE: Oh! I saw him the other night.

DAVE: what

ROSE: In a dream. It was very brief, only a few minutes. I waved to him and then woke up.

DAVE: whoa what was he doing

ROSE: He was fighting Jack. Actually, he was doing quite well!

DAVE: oh man

DAVE: you have to tell me all about this

ROSE: I will. Later, though. I'd like to get back to work.

DAVE: ok when

DAVE: tonight?

ROSE: I have plans tonight. How about tomorrow.

DAVE: plans

DAVE: what plans

ROSE: Just some plans.

DAVE: can i come

ROSE: No!

DAVE: fuck fine

DAVE: tomorrow then

DAVE: maybe ill just dream up my own john tonight and well have an awesome time without you what do you think about that

ROSE: ...

DAVE: fu

[twistmusings]

i just finished reading all your character room analysis that have been posted so far and I gotta say- I know its obvious but I really admire the effort put into all of these- you're really really good with details and that's is amazing :D it takes a lot of focus to do that (at least for me :'^ )

oh and that part where you said Floyd's organization style reminds you of how ADHD people are that's so true! as someone with ADHD myself I can point out other things about this like the snack shelf over his bed: people with ADHD have frequent mood swings and suddenly want to do things so perhaps there are times that Floyd randomly wants a snack so he doesn't have to get up to get one or open up a container just to open another container to get his snack he can just sit up and get one from the shelf thing and get one which is why its just kept outside so its not too much of a hassle

or he could be bursting with energy and cant sleep so he could eat to make himself sleepy again

probably doesn't work because there's defo a lot of sugar in it which makes it even worse so he DEFO pesters Jade at 3 am- they defo brawl a lot in the middle of the night LOLLLL

and and the places where the snacks are kept look very quick to open like the cookie jar is so easy to open and the ones next to it are probably plastic bags that you can just fold over to close it so another thing to prevent the inconvenience

his hung up uniform could've probably done by him and since he has no trash around could also mean that he might have been in the mood to clean his room then gave up halfway to wander off and do something else or he got distracted

yaaa that's it I hope that wasn't too much yapping have a good day :'DD

Hey, this is a great addition to receive! While I'm in the process of being diagnosed, I suspect I am likely ADHD (or AuDHD, it's hard telling atp) and I can certainly say the hyperfixation helps when it comes to getting these posts out. Sometimes it's a blessing and sometimes it's a curse, as I'm sure most neurodiverse people can attest to.

That being said, I agree with pretty much all of this! I definitely go through fits of inspiration to clean but I rarely ever actually finish a project once I've started as my attention doesn't hold out that long. I have to actively remind myself of things as well as I go that I started and then stopped.

I also keep snacks close at hand when I can, so I can relate to Floyd with his midnight snacking. If he's anything like how I am, there are just straight up periods where I forget to eat for hours at a time and want to have something on hand once it gets bad enough that my funky brain worms decide it can't wait anymore.

Personally speaking, I think it's interesting because in the canon text, we seem to get hints that Jade may also be neurodiverse in a different way than Floyd. He certainly seems to have hyperfixations, even though those don't show up quite as much in his bedroom as much as they do in his actual canon text - largely only in his terrariums. (The fact that Jade can recognize obscure mushrooms from across the world in the Harveston event when he would normally live under the sea is something I find telling - this isn't a hobby that he does surface level studying in. Then you put him next to Idia and Sebek and like... listen that may well have just been the most Neurodiverse event we've ever gotten.) I may do another examination of the character down the line once this is done where I examine their Vignettes and their dialogue in events later down the line, as that's a lot of re-reading to dedicate myself to, so I suppose one step at a time. I definitely think that would be an interesting thing to tackle at some point, and so much of why Jade is one of my favorite characters actually comes from his dialogue. He's one of the few characters that we actually get so much of his characterization from his dialogue in random events that are easy to miss.

I love examining canon. Of course people with headcanon the twins however they may, but I think it's worth seeing how realistic of a portrayal some of these traits the characters have are wrt real-life neurodiverse people. I never want to say for certain that I think a character is 100% neurodiverse considering I'm not the original author of TWST, but I certainly do think there's a reason a lot of my Neurodiverse friends who also play latch onto certain characters and see themselves in certain characters too.

I'm definitely glad that you enjoyed my post! I love getting messages like this, it makes me feel so appreciated for the work I do put into considering these little details. Thank you!

[gorewh0re90x-blog]

diary entries...

TW: substances, ed, TMI situations

1/7/2024

6pm

im so tired. i havent been this tired since i quit doing dope 7 months ago. i still miss her almost everyday. my one true love. she was with me through everything the last 12 years. our relationship was toxic as hell but she will always be the one who got away. even if (when) i relapse and run back to her it will always end. it might end in death or just another rehab but it will always end. thats the thing with her, no matter how many times i run back i always have to leave, even if its for a little bit. theres no way around it. i start doing good in life and i run back to her warm and beautiful arms. the beginning is always the best, the honeymoon phase, but it doesnt last longer than 6 months. she always asks for more and more. more time, more money, more attention, more destruction. we lay in bed all day and all night as she whispers sweetly in my ear 'you dont need any of this..not this job, not this money, not your friends, not your family, not the outside world..you only need me..' and i always agree because its true, i only need her to be ok with being alive. no matter how many times we go through the same notions, i always listen to her..how can i not? when im with her nothing else matters, nothing means a thing. she makes me feel so safe, so warm, so invincible, so beautiful, so amazing.. its only her, always and forever.. until she takes everything away from me, as she always does, and drags me to rock bottom where the only choice i have left, is to leave her again..

9pm

idk whats wrong with me the last few days. im so tired and feeling like crap. it cant be not enough sleep because im sleeping. it cant be not enough food because im eating. im tired, my stomach hurts, im cold until I get in bed and under the covers and then im hot. my head hurts. my body aches, although that could be just me trying to work out too much. it feels like im constipated but im still going a little everyday. consistency of soft serve ice cream, which is super foreign to me. ive been constipated for the last 12 years, going once a week, if i was lucky, and when i did go it was like pushing out baseballs made out of rocks. this whole thing is just strange and exhausting. i just feel like I have the flu. i took dulcolax, my savior, an hour and a half ago and im hoping it clears out everything i ate the last 4 days and not just little swirls of crap that take 10mins of wiping to clean up. gross, i know. i just want to sleep but i don't want to wake up at midnight and be wide awake til i get back from the clinic at 6:30am. maybe ill be able to sleep for the next 6 hours and then just work out some until its time to head to the clinic at 5:30. i took an hour nap earlier around 5pm and had a weird dream.. it had to do with 2 guys breaking in and trying to shoot us unsuccessfully and ended up with me stabbing one and the other getting shot. hopefully its not some premission.. im gonna try to nap.

1/8/2024

12:05am

i decided to let myself get an oreo mcflurry every sunday since ive been doing so well with my diet and exercise. i figured that since i burn more than the 510cal thats in the dam thing every day anyway, i can be a fat fucking pig and have one. theyre just so dam good 😩 cutting out all sugar has been a nightmare over the last month. ive spent the whole time i was an h addict living on sugar so its been rough. it will be totally worth it though. i should reach my current goal weight of 100lbs in the next 10 months or less as long as i keep doing what ive been doing. i cant wait to be thin and beautiful. i dont need drugs as long as im thin ��

1/9/2024

1am

i ate that slice of cheese pizza i said i wouldnt touch..378cals. 378!! im such a fat pig. disgusting. it doesnt matter that i burned twice as much in calories today. the only thing that matters is that i didn't have enough self control to not eat that dam slice of pizza. i hate that my husband eats the foods i cant have every freaking day. i know me needing to lose weight is not his problem but it still sucks to be put in these situations everyday. if its not pizza its cookies and sweets and danishes and everything else I cant eat. fuck this sucks so bad! starting tomorrow i need to burn more than 700-900cals each day. i need to walk more than 10-13k steps. i need to eat less than 1400cal each day. idc if im technically still losing weight. its not enough. i need to do better and damnit i will do better.

11pm

i ate less but didnt get to work out as much as i wanted to. i guess tomorrow will be better. it better be at least. i need to get to sleep before 3am tonight so i dont sleep til 5pm tomorrow.. i have to be up at 530am to go to the clinic 5 times a week and by 11am im so exhausted i need a freaking nap or im falling over on my feet. i think they need to lower the dose on my medicine. this is getting super annoying. i just wanna be thin already. fml.

1/11/2024

12:36am

today was good. i walked over 13k steps, worked out for an hour, burned about 1000cals and only ate about 800cals. definitely getting a hang of this. didnt have a headache either. got a decent amount of sleep too. im definitely gonna ask my clinic to lower the dose on my medication because im sure thats why im tired all the time. im super sore from the gym the other day but tomorrow i have to go either way. hopefully it wont be too crowded because i get really bad anxiety and paranoia around strangers. i hate going outside. goodnight my lovelies, i hope youre all staying on track and getting closer to your ugw 🖤🚬🦋

1/13/2024

5:16am

i had a good day yesterday but not a great night. i burned around 1200cals and had a 90min work out plus 15k steps. less food as well. ordered some stuff off amazon ive been wanting since beginning of december so i was super happy until my husband decided to drink and be..not great. he hasnt been drinking since we moved states 7 months ago except 1 or 2 previous occasions because he gets wasted and acts a fool. he was doing good until he wasnt. it just wasnt a good experience but hes finally asleep. im exhausted from not getting more than 3 hours of sleep the previous night and having to deep clean the whole house and do my workout and now being up all night. i want to go to sleep but i have a few things to worry about due to his drinking so its not looking so good right now.. i fed the stray cats i take care of just now and im gonna lay down and listen to some creepypastas and hope for sleep to come. hope everyone is doing well 🖤🚬🦋

[chewsdays]

Y’all: Niall’s album is sooo good!! Also who hurt him omg.

Me: wow can’t wait to hear the album tomorrow.

[saltnpepperprentiss]

Payback is a b*itch

Hope x fem reader

*not my gif*

Sunmary: You're Hope's best friend and she's finally got her humanity back. Which is great except the tribrid has been ignoring you and you don't know why.

A/N: so I wrote this before the episode where Hope actually turned her humanity back on and also naturally I assumed Landon would come back to life so he is in here too, briefly... And then forgot about it😬 anyway I hope you like it. Thought I'd post something since legacies has been canceled. Also I've never posted a fic on Tumblr so if this isn't right, I'm so sorry.

🦇🐺🧙🏻🦇🐺🧙🏻🦇🐺🧙🏻🦇🐺🧙🏻🦇🐺🧙🏻

The music is blasting so loud you feel the ringing echo in your ears. The party Lizzie Saltzman had planned as a welcome back for Hope and herself got more rowdy as the hours ticked closer to midnight. Yet you hadnt seen the tribrid anywhere all night. Ever since her humanity came back and she finally returned to the school (after taking a break to physically be with her family) you hadn’t really had the chance to speak to her , let alone see her.

It's as if she had busied herself with enough tasks to help around the school to make up for what her no humanity self had put them through. Not that she had to , everyone had forgiven her and found ways to move on yet it had never been easy for Hope to do the same.

You knew she’d been on a mission today with Alaric and Landon in recruiting some potential new students. Though you’re pretty sure they’d been back for a while and yet no sign of the auburn haired girl had been in sight.

Until of course you catch the tail end of a conversation between her and Landon,  not so far off from the party.

“I know I said I’d give us another shot but I don’t think it’s a good idea” you heard Landon say.

“What? Just because we got into an argument during the mission? You’re giving up that easily?” Hope answers and you can hear the hurt in her voice. You don’t mean to be listening in on what seems to be a very private conversation , but you also cant stop yourself. Neither can you stop yourself from slowly moving towards their direction.

“of course not! But between you throwing yourself into hero mode and your weird obsession with y/n lately I think you're just using us as a distraction for what you really want”

What?- was that your name? Did you really hear that or was your brain messing with you. Your cheeks felt warm , your heart racing at the idea that maybe , just maybe your secret crush you’ve had on Hope Mikaelson all this time could lead to something more.

By the time you try to refocus on the conversation its over. Landon's gone and Hope is left staring into the dimly lit  part of the woods leading back to the school. It’s then that you realize you’ve stalked your way towards the tribrid and that she probably knows you’re behind her so it’s not like you could just turn around and pretend you know nothing.

“How much did you hear” Hope asks , her back still to you , no way to tell if she’s mad or not.

“Not much” you start, “actually enough, is this why you’ve been ignoring me?” you decide you might as well be honest.

“I haven’t been ignoring you!” Hope exclaims.

Your brows furrow , her back was still towards you and you could tell her shoulders were tense. What was wrong with liking you? You move closer towards the tribrid with determination. Suddenly the frustration of her ignoring you all this time comes bubbling to the surface. So what if she doesn’t like you , you were friends first, best friends even. You don’t just ignore friends.

“Then why won’t you even look at me Hope?” you ask , your voice rising slightly when  the tribrid still wouldn’t turn around.

“I’m scared of what I’ll do to you”

What does that even mean? Her humanity was back on , why would she hurt you? Even when her humanity was off she barely touched you instead making you unconscious when you tried to stop her from leaving. So why would that warrant such a reaction from her?

You’re standing close enough now that you can see the way the shorter girls chest is rising and falling faster with every breath. Was she upset? If only she’d turn around and actually speak to you.

“I’m more scared of what you won’t do” you finally answer. Maybe Hope realized that your friendship just wasn’t enough for her or that she didn’t need you. But why would Landon mention her having an obsession with you if that were true? What did he know that you didn’t.

You’ve had enough of this , you grab a hold of Hopes wrist but before you know it she’s spinning around , eyes flashing golden before you feel it. The softness of her lips pressed harshly against your own. You barely have a chance to reciprocate before she pulls away , her eyes now back to blue searching yours for any sort of sign.

“I- Hope” you try to speak but you can’t find the words. What could you possibly say when your long time crush who you thought had no interest in you that way just kisses you?

“I’m sorry I should’ve asked first but ever since my emotions came back these feelings for you just wouldn’t go away— I didn’t even know I had them until a few weeks ago when I saw you at football practice and realized I really , really wanted to kiss you  after you winked at me- winked! You just winked , you’ve done it before and I never felt that way but then it happens now and all I could think about was kissing you!”

You’re still staring at Hope , eyes wide. First the kiss and then a rambling confession , your brain was still processing realizing Hope liked you.

You’re still holding onto her wrist,  your grip tight but not enough to hurt her. Well you don’t think you could even if you tried. Her gaze lowers to where you’re holding onto her then back to your lips , they linger there for another second before she is looking back at you waiting almost pleading for you to say something, anything. Her cheeks are practically red after that ramble and all you could do was stare gobsmacked.

But you still have no words. So you do the only thing that comes to mind and tug her into your chest. The shock is evident on her face not expecting you tugging her closer but then your free hand caresses her cheek and you feel her eyes on your lips once more once it settles that this is happening. You are going to kiss her. Hope leans in even more , a chill running through her as your hand trails towards her neck and then rests at the nape before pulling her in and just before your lips touch you ask “is this okay?”

The way her breath fans your face as she let’s out a breathy chuckle makes your stomach do somersaults. This was really happening. You were really here in the woods , inches away from Hope Mikaelson's face ready to kiss her. And have her kiss you , AGAIN.

“More than” She whispers out before connecting your lips once more. This time it’s softer , this time you kiss back with no fervor like you can feel Hope is trying to induce. Instead your kisses are languid , you savor each touch ,every taste you get from her lip balm. Bubblegum , not what you expected but not like you’re complaining.

You break a part minutes later , the fire in the tribrids eyes tell you she wants more. Craves it. And sure you want it to but not tonight. Tonight all you want is her and you spending the night catching up on lost time. And if you maybe decide to tease her with lingering touches or skillfully placed kisses through the night or even cutting off the makeout sessions when you feel it starting to heat up and it makes her blue eyes shine golden  in frustration. Well let’s just say she deserves it for ignoring you all this time.

Payback is a bitch.

[leafostuff]

Our Little Secret (Ft. NiziU Miihi

note: so...i had a birthday like 4 days ago (im 18 so pog) and i decided to write This Miihi oneshot since she is one of my favorite Idols, i hope you all enjoy this

12 AM

First night of summer and god you are struggling to sleep, maybe it was still excitement from the fact that you finished school as a Senior, leaving you to only have the Adult life ahead of you, maybe its more Stress of not knowing what to do with your life but whatever it was it costed you some important sleep hours.

another look at your phone and the hour was 12:03 AM, “maybe a walk should be enough to calm my brain down” you thought to yourself as you jumped out of the window, the height wasn't too high, so no damages were done as you took your phone and wrote a message to your parents how you went to a walk, fortunately your parents gave you a thumbs up, and your walk has begun

10 minutes has passed, and your small adventure brought you to the park, as basically you were listening to music in your ear buds and checking up funny memes on Discord, few laughs and a comment later you take a look at the members list and notice someone specific who was online.

“quite unusual of her to be online this time” you thought as you opened a DM with her and write a Simple question, “Cant sleep?”  you ask in the chat, a couple of seconds later she responds, “yeah” a simple response but an effective one, “Thought maybe i could take a walk in the park to calm my nerves” another message came in as you couldn't help yourself but smile lightly, as you just noticed what she was saying.

“Want to meet on the bridge?” another quick typing which resulted in a Quick thumbs up emoji, as you stood up from the bench you were sitting on and heading to the bridge, as you got there you were just leaning your back on the side of the bridge, as from the corner of your eye you notice her heading to you.

Miihi was one of your best friends ever since the two of you were very young, not 5 years old like all the movies talk about, but like since age 10, so now as the both of you finished school forever, you knew each other for 8 years which included many smiles since just seeing her could turn your day upside down, and in the end the two of you kinda grew to a friend group which included some of her friends and yours, making a amazing friend group. as she was standing in front of you she was wearing a White T-shirt, followed with a black sweatshirt and and fairly basic pants, nothing too fancy for a midnight walk.

"So….first day of summer, huh? we finally got to it” You ask as Miihi shows her smile and joins you on the bridge, leaning on the side and watching the stars together with you.

“Yeah, finally is school is over, and we could do whatever we want now” She added, “do you have plans for the summer? or you're just going to laze around and do nothing like me?” she asked as in response you just shrugged, since even you don't know what are your plans for the summer.

“To be honest, i thought about maybe Trying to get a job for the summer, before i get to college, what about you? i guess that a scholarship so you dont really need to work that much to pay for it” You knew how smart Miihi was, topping your class and is considered one of the smartest students in the school.

“Oh…So we won’t have much time to hang out don't we?” her smile changed slowly into a frown as she looked down, it was true that you will not hang out as much anymore, yes there will be your almost daily discord chats, but its not the same as meeting in person.

Suddenly, she showed a little smile and held your hand “Follow me” she started running, getting you to follow her quickly with a run from your own, “If this is the one of the last times we will meet like this….it means we should make it the best night ever” She said as her comment made you smile brightly, it was so good to hear how important your friendship was to her.

10 minutes of running later the two end up at her Mansion, Miihi was the  daughter of one of the richest families in the town, so mansion to live in is something not surprising.

However instead of going to the house directly, Miihi instead turned right, walking toward her Family Pool, the both of you stopped in front of the Pool house as she left your hand. "I'm going to switch up for a swimsuit, don't you dare peek" she said as she gave you a Wink as she closed the sliding door and the curtain as well 

"What about me?" You ask, realizing you didn't expect to come with a Swim shorts of your own.

"Get on with your pants or something" She spoke through the sliding door as you took your shirt off, and left it near the the pool, you were always less comfortable showing your body and would get Insecure going to a pool together with your friends, but it couldn't be that bad, it was your friend Miihi, what was the worst that can hap-.

“I'm ready” Miihi said, as she got out of the pool house, wearing a Pink swimsuit, as you could feel your face getting hotter by the second, and unfortunately she got notice of it fast “OOO…someone is blushing, its Just me” she added as she giggled and leaned closer. after Miihi opened the Pool which took a couple of minutes she smiled at you cutely, you return the smile when suddenly…

*Splash*

You find yourself in the pool, as you look up you see a Laughing Miihi in front of you as she sat on the edge of the pool “come on, you know it was worth it dont you?” she asked as you just rolled her eyes “ok, just sit with me” she added as she gave you her hand to get up however…

*Splash*

“ha….HAHAHAHAH” she started laughing as you couldnt help but join her as the two of you just started goofing around in the water, from swimming quietly to Splash fights the two of you really had one of the best nights that could ever be, the hour was around 1:30 AM as another splash fight was going as in the end you cornered Miihi to one of the corners as the two of you started laughing as the stopping gotten quieter and the two of you were gazing at each other’s eyes as one thing was on your and probably Miihi’s mind

“so….close” your thoughts clouded your senses as the Both of you lean your faces closer to each other…and closer…and closer as finally the both of you kiss, Lips were awfully sweet even more than you expected as you could feel her hands get slowly around your back and yours go to her waist, even while both of your eyes closed you can feel the movement of you sitting on the edge of the pool with Miihi on your lap.

Miihi was your star, there was no way to deny it, from her long and smooth hair that you could feel touching your skin, her hands that were softer then the most fluffies wool a sheep could ever produce were now on your chest, feeling how loud your hearts knocks and how her large yet adorable brown eyes that made every wish by her a command were now starting to tear up slowly as the both of you moved away from the kiss, you could swear you seen her eyes sparkle from the tears, smiling from side to side Miihi just leans her forehead close enough to touch yours, as you smile lightly and mirror her, almost as the both of you were telepathizing your feelings as no words were needed between the two of you.

“Woah” you just said, shocked from your intimate connection the two of you just had as Miihi just giggled in response

“Yeah….indeed woah” she said as your hands without any thought just went to her hair, twirling it around your finger and pushing some of them to the side, to see her true beauty. “i…want you to stay with me the night….together” she simply said as all you could was just nod and hug her tight.

\

~-~

2:30 AM

First night of summer, 2 Showers, and a movie later the both of you are laying on the sofa since there wasn't any mattress, so you had to resort to Miihi using you as her mattress while you could only have the sofa, the lights were closed as the both of you were just whispering to each other lightly.

“so? what i am drawing on your skin?” even while the both of you were falling asleep you still tried to talk as much as possible, your finger was on her back drawing some shapes.

“It's a heart isn't it?” she asked quietly as you just shook your head.

“No, it's a bunny, see? i did the ears” you replied as you traced the the motion of the ears, “And now i did the face” you added another motion as you could feel her humming feel like music to your ears “and i added a nose” as you teasingly tapped your nose as she just giggled.

“god whatever…you know…i think this going to be *Yawn* the best summer we will ever have” she said as she closed her eyes, her smile still felt through her aura as she just started fall asleep, as you couldnt help but smile at her cuteness.

“uh…yeah, you are right…the best summer ever” you said as suddenly your face started to frown as you opened up your phone to look at your mails, and one that you kept for a long time was still sitting there “You have been chosen to work Under Starship Ent, the flight to Korea will be at the 1st of July 2022” the Message said as you just looked at the message, not knowing how will you have the bravery to tell this to her.

================================================

Thanks for Reading and i will see you all Next update

[dreamescapeswriting]

I Hate To Admit ~ Bang Chan [Request]

WORD COUNT:1.6K

PAIRING: Chan x GN!Reader

GENRE: Angst, fluffy

A/N: I made it a fluffy ending I cant help it.

The longer that Chan sat there listening to the rain outside the window the more he began to grow uneasy about everything he had done that day. It was his turn to release an Skz-Record and he'd written something from the heart, something he'd been holding back on for so long that he needed to get out. Now it had been out in the world for almost eight hours and he was already wondering about you, had you seen it yet? What did you think about it? Did you even know that it was about you? Would you even care that he had done something like that?

The clock on his desk began blinking as it reached midnight and he knew he was going to have to head back to the dorms sooner or later but he didn't want to. As much as he loved being around the boys he needed some time alone, time to think about everything he had lost and he didn't want to go back yet. The boys all knew who the song was going to be about which meant they were going to have a million and one questions about you, why you had left in the first place, why he'd written such a sad song and why Chan would never tell the boys what had truly happened to you. Going back to them met admitting that he missed you and he did, he missed you every minute of every day but he could never say that out loud to anyone but himself. There were times where your voice still echoed in the back of his mind and being at the studio was one of the moments he still felt as though he was close to you. Imagining you sat on the chairs behind him waiting for him to finish one of the pieces he was working on. He still pictured you waiting up for him at the dorms, sitting in one of his shirts playing video games or passed out on the sofa so tired from waiting for him but you would always be there.

"Chan? You ready?" He snapped out of his daydream as he glanced over at the door, his manager had been watching him for a few minutes debating about interrupting the young man's thoughts.

"No, I'm...I'm going to work on this a little more," He lied as he turned back to the blank laptop screen, he was already so tired it wouldn't matter if he stayed in the studio that night he just didn't want to go home yet. Not to an empty bed where he couldn't sleep, he couldn't sleep without you by his side which is why he had begged you to stay with him but you didn't.

"You told me you would never leave! You promised!" He yelled out as you stood across from him in the dorms, throwing your clothes into a bag as you tried to leave as quickly as possible. Tears welling up in your eyes as you tried not to look at him, looking at him you would see how much this was hurting him but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and you couldn't give it up. It was your life's work and someone was finally taking you seriously, your dream was to be a writer and now that was finally able to come true he wasn't willing to let you go?

"I'll be back Channie, I need this." You breathed as you placed your bag over your shoulder, heading towards the exit when he took hold of your hand. The familiar spark you always felt jolted through your body only making you cry harder at the thought of leaving him. The two of you had spoken about it before, you'd managed a long-distance relationship when he was away on tour, it would be no different. You would be back sooner than he could think about it but he was set on never letting you leave.

"I'll be back...I need this, you know how much this means to me." You tried to let him know gently that this was your dream but he was blind to everything, all he could think about was the promises you had made that you were now breaking.

"You lied to me. You promised that you would never leave and now you're leaving." His voice cracked and you turned to look at him, tears rushing down your face as you reached your hand up to touch him. You hadn't seen Chan this upset since the survival show and it broke you to see him with his eyes so red and tears staining his cheeks.

"You said you would support my dreams." You reminded him but he stepped back from you, shaking his head as he let you walk out of the door, leaving everything behind without trying to fix it.

Chan never should have let you leave the way you did, it was one of the biggest mistakes in his life. He should have made up with you before you got on the plane and left the country to be far away from him, he didn't have to be as selfish as he was but he couldn't see a world without you in it and to this day he still couldn't. How could he ever forget the way you were, how could he not remember all of the little things you did that made him smile and even things that would annoy him but that he still loved about you? He always regretted never responding to the texts and calls you left him when you landed for your new job, he ignored you, ghosting you and telling the boys to do the same.

"Fuck," He mumbled as he looked down at the photo of you he had on his desk, he'd never moved it from the moment that he put it there. It was a photo of you and him together after the boy's first award win, you were holding onto him tightly as tears rushed down both of your faces. You had the photo framed so that you could prove to Chan every day how much you supported his dream and how much of an amazing achievement he had won in the past to keep him motivated but now? Now it felt like a person torture device sitting on his desk, painfully reminding him that although you had supported him he hadn't done the same for you.

Staggering into the dorms that night he stripped out of the drenching wet coat he was wearing and hung it up on the coat rack to dry for the next day. He scratched the back of his neck as he walked through the hallway and into the living room, glancing over at the sofa as he saw you sitting there. 

"I'm too tired," He mumbled as he began rubbing his eyes thinking that the image of you sitting there, in his shirt was just all in his head but as he glanced back over you were staring at him. Two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table as you waited for him to come and sit down. 

"You wouldn't be so tired if you got some decent sleep," You quipped as you moved over on the sofa, Chan's mind raced as he stared at you. He must have fallen asleep in the studio it was the only explanation for you to be sitting there so calmly as if nothing had happened. 

"Channie, please...We need to talk." You whispered as you waited for him to go and sit beside you, he hesitantly walked over and took the drink from the table, sitting down expecting everything to fade away as he woke up. 

"The song." You whispered again placing your hand over his and that was when he knew it was real, that you were truly sitting across from him and touching him. That you were back. 

"The song," He repeated, placing his hand on top of yours as he waited for you to say something else but no words could express what you were feeling. You had been on the plane flying home to see him when the song dropped, making you rethink everything in your relationship if there was even one to go back to. 

"How did you know I was coming back?" He questioned as he looked at you and then to the time, it was almost 2 in the morning and he never would have expected to find you here. 

"I came as soon as I landed...Felix let me in and I slept in your bed for a while...Then I figured you'd probably come home at some ungodly hour like you used to," You laughed softly remembering all the times he would come home late like this, it never once bothered you because you knew how much he adored his word and you would always make sure he slept when he came in.

"But...Why are you back? I thought the job was what you wanted," It had been everything you wanted but it was awful, you were completely miserable the whole time because it wasn't as fun as they had made it out to be, promising you all these amazing opportunities only to make you an errand-runner. Not having Chan in your life made it all the worse, with Chan by your side you felt like anything was possible.

"I didn't want the job if it meant I never got to see you again...Plus...They kind of sucked, I became an errand-runner." You mumbled as you laid your head on his shoulder and just like that it was as if nothing had changed. The four months you spent apart never happened and Chan was just glad to have you back in his life and in his arms where he was never going to let you go without telling you how much he supported you. 

"We'll find you something good, something better...I will support you...I promise." He whispered as he laid a small kiss on your forehead, you hummed tiredly as you relaxed against him just happy to be back in his arms once again.

Tagline: @taestannie​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @sw33tnight​ @mwitsmejk​ @acciocriativity​ @minholuvs​ @anxiousbobatea​ @justbangtanthingz​

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

y’all i cant stop thinking about this,,, i absolutely cannot stop thinking about it

so i present y’all with sum.....

✨sleepy bakugou hcs✨

- Q U I E T boy. ik ik ur like “bakugou? quiet? in the same sentence?”,, but here’s what im here to tell u,, it’s more likely then u think. mostly bc being snarky/angry all day has to be so exhAUSTING, so when bakugou crashes he crashes

-pls he’ll go from perfectly alert, sitting up ram-rod straight on the couch next to you, to slumping into the cushions with half-lidded eyes in all of 2.5 seconds

-like, he’ll ask u about ur day, right? and as soon s u answer he’ll lean back, close his eyes and just sit there and listen quietly to you speak,, little “mhm”’s and “you fuckin’ tell ‘em”’s are the only sign he’s listening (he is listening tho. bakugou almost never forgets anything u tell him,, even when he’s half asleep)

-oh my god and u cannot tell me this man doesn’t fight sleep. he does. every time. pls n he’s just fluttering his eyes, rubbing at them and trying to stay awake so he can hear you talk. and ur always like “you know, it’s okay, you can sleep. there’s always tomorrow.” n he’s just “no. finish the fuckin’ story. ‘m listenin’.”

-pls and one of the only fandom-wide bakugou hcs i whole-heartedly agree with is that he’s a cuddler. he is. 100% a physical guy at heart but only rlly allows himself to be behind closed doors (read: when it’s bedtime)

-so when he’s tired he’s very much a clinger. arms around your waist and hands slipping under your shirt. not even in like a 🥴 way, he’s not trying to start anything, bakugou just likes skin contact. probably likes how soft ur skin is against his calloused hands

-pls n he’s so blunt. i mean, he is all the time, but especially when he’s sleepy bc all the excess bite drains out of his voice. will 100% seriously just look at you and just flatly say “No.” when u tell him you’ve gotta get up

-ur like “hey, gotta brush my teeth first. then we can fall asleep.” n bakugou is like “No.” and ur like, “no, really. i feel gross.” n he’s just like “No.”

-100% will dig his face into your neck and just kinda doze. like, won’t fall fully asleep, but he’ll fade in and out and when he occasionally mumbles u can always feel it against ur skin

-probably feels like he somehow runs even ?hotter? when he’s tired. like, he always feels warmer than the average person, but when he’s sleepy man’s is literally radiating warmth

-probably doesn’t kiss you on the lips very much,, bc he’s wants to be fully awake for that and give you the effort you deserve,, but he will kiss your palm if u cradle his face. probably turns his head to the side rlly languidly, and still somehow blushes when he presses his lips to ur hand. (soft affection just flusters him, okay, especially on the rare occasion when he’s the one giving it instead of recieving)

-sleepy!bakugou is also probably the only bakugou who will let you fuss over him. like, every other time u even try he’ll bat your hands away and shrug u off, but when he’s tired he doesn’t fight it. he’ll let you ask your questions and fuss over his wounds and kiss his bruises without complaint

-pls don’t bring it up in the morning tho. it’ll embarrass him and it’ll be a very long time before he lets u fuss over him again

-and i mean, y’all have seen the gif, bakugou is big spoon. he is. almost every single time,,, but i also think he links ur hands together while doing so. so instead of an arm over ur waist,, he’ll sit it a little higher, just below ur ribs, so that when he pulls u in he can hold ur hand that’s tucked up by ur chest

-and on like, the off chance that he’s not big spoon,, mans is just laying directly on top of you. like, head on ur chest, one leg in between yours. only very occasionally tho

-pls he probably looks at you with such unguarded affection. usually he’ll try to hide it, but if everything is calm and quiet, late at night, bakugou will let it slip. his eyes are always half-lidded as he stares at you, tracking your moments intently, blinking slowly

-oo n tell me this man doesn’t talk in his sleep. he does. full sentences with swears. it’ll be like midnight and u feel his lips against ur bare shoulder, and when u listen he’s just “fuckin- i said stop. i’ll smoke you. Fuckin’ bitch.”

-probably dreams a lot. which means he twitches and flutters his eyelashes and jerks randomly between different stages of sleep

-oh my god and bc i can’t stop myself here’s a list of actions (that u do) that i just know would put bakugou right tf to sleep

1.) playing with his hair. more specifically tho,, gently brushing the hair back from around his ears and forehead

2.) massaging his arms. u cannot tell me this man’s arms aren’t sore,, i mean,, have u seen his quirk?? the recoil/strain is severe. so when he comes home from a tough mission, where he over-exerted himself like always, bakugou’s arms are literally a coiled mess of knots. but all u gotta do is start working at them and then he is an absolute puddle under your fingers

3.) braiding your hair in front of him. i cant explain this one i just kno he’s the type to sit there and watch u do it, and he just finds the methodical aspect of it so calming and almost hypnotic to watch

4.) giving him any sort of warm drink. no, literally, he’s a simple dude. all it takes is a warm drink and somewhere soft to lay n he’s ready to pass tf out

-oh my god and hear me out, if ur a pro-hero too,, and y’all are coming back from a mission at night??? pls he’d actually be so cute for once

-i’m talking very much him nearly falling asleep in the shower and then dragging you to bed with him. and he’s falling asleep, just on the verge of it, and he’ll just “did good today, dumbass. fuckin’ killed ‘em real good. looked hot.” and then he’s dead to the world. completely unconcious

—/—

haha here’s a shameless dump of fluff bc as much as i write about him being a little asshole,, bakugou is also a sweetie. sometimes. mostly when he keeps his mouth shut

also lmao,, i’ve been cleaning out my drafts/asks today,, can u guys tell?? ahahaha soz for what probably feels like an absolute spam of content but i simply cannot stop

[soupthatistohot]

Sk8 headcannons because brainrot pt. 2

- everything Reki has ever taught himself has been because of the wonderful world of YouTube tutorials

- Kojiro wanted to get his ears pierced in highschool like Kaoru, but he didn't do it because he was afraid of tarnishing his image (which is ironic when he gets a massive tattoo later in life)

- Langa doesn't like cats because he thinks they're mean

- there’s a stray cat that lives near Langa’s house and even though he doesn’t like cats, he leaves out milk and some fish for it sometimes because he feels bad

- Langa has never had a pet except a goldfish he won at a carnival once that he managed to keep alive for four years somehow.

- Kaoru technically needed glasses in high school, but he didn't wear them because he just didn't care at the time (until his vision grew poor enough that it affected his skating)

- Miya gets called a furry by Reki on the daily

- Reki has some knowledge in video editing and has considered starting a YouTube channel

- Langa has a diary, something he started after his father died. At first he didn't really know what to write, so he would just talk about his day, but eventually he got to the emotions part. The diary was especially useful during his fight with Reki in which he was trying to figure out his emotions (it was also useful when he realized he might have an itty bitty crush on his best friend)

- Joe is the biggest dad friend of the group in terms of doting on the kids and giving advice and stuff. Both Reki and Langa come to him often for advice, and Miya hangs around his restaurant a lot.

- Langa has one (1) succulent that he has managed to keep alive for three years. Its name is Gary, and it may not be the prettiest, but it is not dead yet!

- Reki never tells his mother when Langa is coming over and she's trained herself to just expect a lanky Canadian to be wandering around her house at any time.

- It took Kojiro a really long time to figure out his sexuality (and that's valid!!)

- Hiromi has been hopelessly in love with his manager for three years and has tried on multiple occasions to confess to her, but either something interrupts them or there's some sort of misunderstanding about it. Those are his more violent nights at "S".

- After befriending Reki, Langa and Miya, Hiromi is a little more careful about his tools of sabotage during beefs (and he lowkey feels guilty for injuring Reki in the beginning)

- Kaoru and Reki are actually closer than one might think. Reki ends up asking him for advice just as much as he asks Kojiro.

- Reki can't do something mundane without his ears being occupied. He ends up listening to music or podcasts a lot when he does chores or is working on a board alone (but if Langa is there with him, he'll talk his ear off instead).

- Miya's family isn't particularly bad, they're just a little distant. They assume everything is okay because Miya's so successful with school and skating, and they trust his integrity (which makes it very easy for him to sneak out to "S"). He doesn't really talk to them (or anyone, really) about his struggles.

- When Miya and Koyomi meet, he shows her all his video games and suddenly Reki's little sister is a gamer girl

- Langa almost wore a long-sleeved top to the beach and Reki had to go make him change before they left ("you'll melt in that, are you crazy?!")

- Kojiro knew damn well that Kaoru had a business trip and that the gang was going to the beach, but all other parties were unaware. He just decided to tag along as to not be left out.

- Kaoru trims his own hair, as he finds salons to be ridiculously overpriced for those with long hair

- Reki dogsits for his next door neighbor sometimes, they have a shiba named Onigiri (rice ball).

- Kojiro’s pennant was a gift from Kaoru and he wears it literally all the time except in water (so it doesn’t get ruined)

- Reki’s father is pretty absent, so Oka takes it upon himself to look after him

- Langa occasionally picks up odd jobs in order to help his mom out with finances

- Langa’s favorite animal is dolphins. He had a phase as a child where he read like fifty dolphin books and it was his entire personality for a few months. Despite this, he has never actually seen a dolphin irl

- Reki takes really good care of his nails and Langa… does not. He bites them and it annoys the shit out of Reki to the point where he’s just like “please… just let me file them for you” and Langa relents despite the fact that he hates the sensation of getting his nails filed

- Reki sometimes talks to Langa about getting depressed and one time Langa is like “yeah I getchu” and Reki is just like “heh?” And Langa says “I mean my dad died and I was in counseling for like months after that before I came here” and Reki is just like “oh”

- Langa is Reki’s bi awakening and it takes him a hot second to figure that out

- sometimes Langa pretends to be more oblivious than he is, either for shits and giggles, or to obtain information

- Kaoru knows exactly how to seduce women, and occasionally uses this to his advantage. It just sucks because he’s not into women.

- Reki is super observant, but whenever Langa does something that’s an indication that he likes Reki, he’s just like “WELL MAYBE IM OVERANALYZING THIS CANT BE REAL-”

- Langa (in general) doesn’t feel the need to be super secretive about anything. He’s honest (sometimes brutally so) and doesn’t always think twice before he says something. This can be both good and bad depending on the context.

- Reki doesn’t sleep a lot. He literally has to go to bed past midnight, he absolutely cannot fall asleep earlier. He gets up at 6:30am every day of the week, even weekends. It’s just how he’s programmed.

- Kojiro used to go to the public gym before Kaoru commented about how unsanitary that was. Ever since then he got freaked out about going to public gyms (especially as someone who works in food services) and cancelled his membership. He bought his own equipment and works out on his own now

- Reki knows how to do rainbow loom. His sisters had a phase with it.

- Kojiro drew on himself with pen when he was bored in school.

- Miya has a habit of eavesdropping on conversations he’s not meant to hear

[darylsgirl]

Hes just like the Sun Part 2 Daryl x Reader 18+

Summary: Reader goes missing, Daryl gives up the search after only a few weeks and starts getting closer to another woman. When he finds sign of the reader again but rick is the one to save you. Daryl cant handle seeing you broken and pulls away.

Warnings: A lot of cussing, Domestic violence, Assault

*Hello my lovelies! This was meant to be one long chapter but I've split it into two parts so expect a part 3 :) As always please let me know what you think of this chapter and if i can improve! As always i hope your having a lovely day!*

Part one                            Part Three

It had only been 4 months since that glorious night with Daryl, Since he had professed his love to you and you to him. 

He had spent every waking moment since then showing his love. Proving he would protect you against anything, He couldn’t have known that he would be away when you needed him most… 

You had just been to the gates and waved Daryl goodbye. He had left on a run with Rick, Rosita, Sasha and Abraham. Sniffing slightly you headed back to your home ready to just get in bed and have his smell engulf you for a few hours before you needed to go to work. 

You knew it was silly he would only be gone a week tops he said but that may as well been a century to you. 

You also knew for the next week you would lay awake at night worried out of your mind wondering if something was going to stop him coming back to you. The thought crushed your chest. You couldn’t be without him now, He was your sun, Your every breath. 

You made it back to your’s and Daryl’s bed wrapping your arms around yourself snuggling into his pillow, It was so strange how the smell of Motor oil could be so Damn comforting! You prayed silently to yourself that the first lead they were going to check out would pay off as that would mean he would be back to you within 2 days.

You lay there hugging yourself tightly for a few hours before begrudgingly dragging yourself into the shower and heading to work. The infirmary was bustling that day fortunately for you, unfortunately for your neighbours. There seemed to be a bug going around the town, Which is why Daryl had to leave you in the first place to go and get life saving antibiotics.

It was ironic that illnesses that could be cured with one pill before could cause so much death now when antibiotics are becoming so difficult to find. You looked around the room and silently pleaded with god to let them find something quickly! 

It was pushing 10pm when you were finally on your way home after a final check on one of your elderly patients. You couldn’t wait to get in the shower and scrub the day away and knowing Carol she would have dinner waiting for you. You smiled thinking of Carol you really did love that woman, She had become like your mother taking care of you and always being there. 

Distracted by your thoughts your guard was down and you hadn’t noticed him dart out of the darkness between the houses. 

You looked around wildly fighting the arms that had clamped around your mouth and chest dragging you backwards. You froze,You knew the sound of that breathing anywhere, You could feel the ice in your veins. It was fucking Spencer. 

Daryl’s POV. 

It had been 8 days since he had left. Y/N was going to kill him for being too long and worrying her. He pushed his bike to the limits just like the first night he had met her racing back towards the gate, Where he knew she would be waiting. Grinning from ear to ear with excitement bubbling in his chest he saw the gates come into view. 

When he got close he only saw Carol waiting for him, He never expected the news she was about to give him. The second the words “She’s….gone….Missing” crossed her lips he ran towards their home screaming for her. Carol hot on his heels, He charged into the house straight to their room “Y/N? Y/N?” he ran from room to room in the home screaming still for her before going outside and collapsing at Carol’s feet. 

His fingers were ripping at his hair and face desperately trying to cling to anything he could. “WHERE IS SHE” He screamed up at Carol. She silently joined him in the middle of the road pulling him into her arms while he sobbed.

Y/N pov

You watched him through the hole in the black paint, It had taken you a while. The paint was thick but you had finally managed to make a hole big enough to see out of but small enough for Spencer not to notice.

Your heart broke watching your man screaming for you, You’d have given anything to be able to rush out of there and wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was ok, Just as he had done for you so many times. You had never seen him so distraught and you hated yourself for being the cause of that. You tried to scream but only a rasping whisper came out of you, It was like the nightmare you always had being so close to help but not being able to call out. 

Then you heard it, The boots coming down the stairs you flung yourself into the corner hands covering every inch of skin you could. You heard the door at the bottom of the stairs open, Footsteps were closer now. He approached the door of the laundry room you were being kept in. The light hurt your eyes as the door flew open.

Daryl Pov

Once Carol had gotten him to calm down a little with the help off Rick and the others who had been on the run they pulled him into the house and to the kitchen Island settling him on a stool whilst Carol hurriedly made tea. 

Once everyone had a cup, Rick finally spoke up “C’mon Carol your killing us here. What do you mean Y/N is missing. What happened?” 

Daryl met Carol’s eyes now and listened intently as she started her explanation, Choosing to give just the facts as she didn’t think Daryl could handle much more. 

“We realised she was missing around midnight on the day you left, When she still hadn’t come home. I went to find Denise who said that she had left work at half 9 and would be stopping in to see Mrs Turner on her way home. I asked Mrs Turner who said Y/N had left around half an hour later.” 

“I’ve spoken to everyone in the town, Most were asleep at the time and No one has seen her since. So we know she went missing within those two blocks around 10pm that night. There is also no gear, weapons or food missing from anyone’s home so we know she didn’t just choose to leave” 

Rick put his hand on Daryl’s shoulder, sighing “You should go get some rest brother, Leave it to us” 

Daryl growled throwing Rick’s arm from him “I. Aint. Goin. Fuckin.Nowhere” He spat through gritted teeth. Rick looked over worried before deciding to let it go, God knows if it was him he wouldn’t have left either. “Ok so tell us Carol, Where have you searched so far?” Daryl had never paid more attention to anything in his life. 

After formulating a plan between the six of you, Daryl pushed himself up from the island feeling grateful for a moment that you had arrived not too long after sunrise and you had a good few hours of sunlight left to search. He silently made a promise to her that he wouldn’t stop till she was back in his arms again. 

Y/N 

You woke in your basement cell shaking from the dreams of the night you were taken. The first few weeks had been the worst. He had inflicted every punishment imaginable on you trying to break you. He laid off those when he realised that wasn’t going to happen. As long as you knew Daryl was out there looking for you, You could keep going too for him. You had to keep hope in your heart he was going to find you. Spencer still took you everyday but you had stopped fighting it now and just became numb as you knew you had to just lay silent or face the cattle prod. He really seemed to like that thing.

You still saw Daryl in the street sometimes, At night sitting on the porch alone with a whiskey and a cigarette looking haunted staring into the night. 

There was one day you dared to believe you could have been saved. You woke to hear him outside of your blacked out window, He had fought with Spencer and pinned him on the front lawn while Rick had searched the house. Finding nothing, She couldn’t understand how they had completely missed the basement! Every house in Alexandria had one! You knew if Daryl hadn’t been out there with him he would have known to check here, he would have found you. Every part of her was screaming for her to call out and scream Daryl’s name and begging him to save her. 

She had tried a few times to scream but only a quiet rasping breath left her, Her throat was red raw and no matter how hard she tried nothing would come out. 

Daryl had let Spencer back up still glaring at him While Rick explained “Look man we had to check, You’re the only person in this town that could of possibly wanted to hurt Y/N We had to be sure” 

Spencer replied “I haven’t even looked at Y/N since that day. I did as I was told and kept to myself. I’ve done my job for Alexandria. I didn’t do anything, I’d appreciate it if you’d keep him away from me and leave me alone!” At that Daryl lunged for him again with Rick stopping him before he got to Spencer. 

“Fair is fair now we’ve checked your house we’ll leave you be” Rick grabbed by the shoulders and walked him back to your house and inside to calm him down. 

Spencer’s Pov

He watched them leave and darted back into the house, Stupid fuckin hillbilly he thought to himself, Walking into kitchen he grabbed a water and let his mind wander. 

He had kept his head down and bided his time, Deanna, his mother had finally gotten rick to agree to let him move back into his home. Almost immediately he had set to work in the laundry room downstairs, Moving the machines out, Moving a mattress in, Adding a deadbolt to the top and bottom of the door. Perfect, Now he just had to wait a little longer for his revenge.

 He was going to get that little bitch back for the humiliation, She didn’t get to make a fool out of him and then be happy! Making him watch them both across the road night after night all on each other. 

He bet she knew what she was doing too, Teasing him like this. Flaunting herself all over town with him! What she was even doing with the dirty redneck he would never know when she could have him. He was better for her, She needed him and he was going to make her see it. 

Two months, Two months he had waited and watched pretending to have no interest. When finally the opportunity presented itself, He was walking the back way home trying to avoid the eyes people now made at him when he saw her. 

She was leaving Mrs Turners and walking alone down the empty dark street, He waited until she was about to turn onto their street where the houses were either unoccupied or all the lights were off when he sprinted towards her wrapping his hand around her mouth and dragging her backwards through the back gardens and into his, She started fighting again when she saw he was taking her into the house. He overpowered her easily taking her down the stairs and into the laundry room, He threw her on the mattress on the floor and left bolting the door behind him. She could scream all she wanted, No one would hear her now. 

Daryl’s Pov

After a few weeks it was just Him, Rick and Carol still searching. They were all sitting on his front porch, His eyes scanning every blade of grass as he had been for weeks. 

Rick cleared his throat “Brother you can’t keep this up anymore and I know what you're gonna say so don’t rip my head off but you need to rest. You need to sit down and eat a real meal or you will be in no condition to keep searching. We’ve looked everywhere in a 100 mile radius and there is no sign of her. I’m not sayin give up on her brother but you need to start taking care of yourself Y/N would hate it if she knew you weren’t” 

Daryl felt the sobs coming up his throat, Rick was right there was nothing to go on. No tracks. No sightings. No sign of any trouble or walkers. She had just vanished into thin air. 

Carol was at his side again consoling him “Ya right Rick, I hate ya but ya right” He let Carol guide him back into the house and to the spare bedroom, He hadn’t been able to set foot in their room, It just wasn’t the same without her. 

She lay him on the bed and left to go grab him some of one of the many crock pot dinners the housewives of Alexandria had dropped off for him, Now they knew he wasn’t gay they were circling him like vulchers all vying to be the one to take Y/N’s place if she didn’t return. He had ignored all of their pity, They could keep it. He didn’t need it. 

The only solace he had found over this time was Nicole, She was the one he had saved a few months back when they had stumbled across her alone in the street and brought her to the infirmary where Denise & Y/N had patched her up before the Town had decided to take her in. 

He can’t remember how his unlikely friendship with her had come from she was just there always at his side, The only one to not look at him like a degenerate to be pitied. They sat in comfortable silence at first before they had started opening up to each other, She was pretty he guessed she had nothin on Y/N but he was still flattered when she had asked him for help with combat. He knew it was probably just an excuse to distract him but he was grateful for the distraction nonetheless. 

Y/N pov

You couldn’t believe he had given up, for weeks he had heard him shouting her name and heard them sitting on their front porch discussing how they would find her tomorrow.. But Tomorrow never came.

He still sat on the porch every night but now he was no longer alone, He no longer looked haunted. You guessed you were happy that he looked happier, more relaxed and even sometimes laughed. You just couldn’t stand that Spencer was right. You had probably just been a passing fling to him, The memories you had of Daryl were becoming warped with you spending your days analysing everything to try to find a moment where that seemed to be true, You were a fool and fell hook line and sinker.

Now you knew he had given up on you, Spencer didn’t need to try and break you any more, You were already broken. 

He had started letting you out of the room for longer. At first it was just to use the bathroom and then to make you cook for him. Soon you were out the entire time he was home and only locked up at night he would make you lie in the bed with him all night pawing at you or subjecting you to monstrosities you couldn't even fathom or dare to think about then lock you up in the morning before he left. This was the only time you could actually sleep, safe from him knowing he wasn’t here to bring you back out again. 

Throughout you had refused to even give him the satisfaction of speaking to him or making a noise during any of this. 

The routine became monotonous. Leave the cell, take birth control, make his dinner, sit on the floor by his chair, Wait to see if he gave you any scraps. Go to bed, Lie awake all night crying. Back to cell. Cry some more and then finally sleep before the routine started all over again. You had stopped trying to see him or anything outside, You just couldn’t take it. 

You took a particularly bad beating this morning for burning his breakfast, Hugging yourself on the bare mattress you passed out from the pain.

Daryl’s pov

He still felt guilt for giving up the search but Rick was right, There was nothing to be seen. It didn’t stop his eyes from constantly searching for some clue that she had ever been here. 

He looked down from the tower and saw Nicole approaching waving at him to come down. He took one last look out over the walls before climbing down to her

“Hey D.. Spencer’s been put on guard duty straight after you, Do you want me to take over?” 

“Nah Girl i’m fine. His face won’t be if he tries to talk to me though” 

She smiled up at him and reached forward giving him a lingering hug, Daryl cleared his throat starting to feel a little uncomfortable. She backed her head away from him slowly looking into his eyes and kissed him gently before pulling away fully and looking at her feet. 

Daryl was still frozen in place not knowing how to react when she mumbled “Okay then, Well i guess ill see you later?” He just nodded and rushed back up to the tower. Guilt back in his chest. He hadn’t known that Nicole had felt like that about him and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. His heart still fully belonged to Y/N and he didn’t think he would ever have room for anyone else, not at least until he knew what had happened to her. 

Daryl resumed his aimless search beyond the gates searching all the faces of the walkers who had been put down recently to see if any of them could have any of Y/N’s features. He heard Spencer talking to Rick and figured his watch was probably up.

Daryl climbed down from the tower and faced them both waiting for them to finish their conversation, He noticed Nicole heading over and tried to ignore her. He looked Spencer over and that's when he saw it.

Rushing Spencer grabbing him by his neck and throwing him against the gate. “WHERE IS SHE” Rick tried to pull Daryl off of him. “Daryl c’mon brother we searched his place he had nothin to do with it” 

“Oh yeah? Then what’s this?” He reached forward ripping your sunflower from the lapel of Spencer's coat and offered it to Rick. 

“This could be anyone’s Daryl, Let’s not jump to the wrong conclusion” Rick mumbled 

Daryl Growled back “Turn it over, It’s got mine and hers initials on the back.”

Rick turned the pin over and saw it did in fact have the initials on the back. Giving the pin back to Daryl.

“Spencer, Why do you have that?” Rick said, pulling his gun out and training it on Spencer's head.

Spencer had gone sheet white “Yeah it’s hers, She left it at the house when she left me” He shrugged “Couldn’t have meant that much to her” He smirked slightly causing Daryl to jab him in the throat. 

Rick pulled Daryl away “She were wearin it when I left Asshole, The day she went missin, Na tell me WHERE IS SHE” 

Spencer was silent now, Holding his throat and gasping. Daryl turned to Rick “We needa search his place again, Naw!” 

They both lunged forward and grabbed Spencer dragging him between them towards his home, On the march over a few of their original group followed. “What’s going on?” Rosita asked

“We found proof he knows where Y/N is” Rick replied shortly, still dragging Spencer. The group followed more urgently now. They threw Spencer on the ground in front of the house, “Watch him” Daryl growled at Abe who nodded in response. 

They tore through the house searching again. “There’s still nothin here Daryl, We need to interrogate him get some answers'' 

“Nah she's here, I can feel it. Were missin somethin” Daryl’s eyes scanned the hallway “Wait, That bookcase... It aint meant to be there, Help me move it” They both grabbed a side and shifted it. “The basement, This has to be it” Rick said excitedly. They opened the door and ran down the stairs, Eyes instantly locking on the dead bolt on the laundry room door. “There” Rick pointed towards the door Daryl ran over “Y/N” He yelled.

Daryl unlocked the door and what he saw brought him to his knees. “Y/N” He said softly this time. Crawling over to you and shaking you. “Y/N Please Y/N Answer me” He sobbed. He stood up and backed out of the room into Rick. He couldn’t look anymore; he didn’t want to remember her like this. Naked and battered. Dead on a thin mattress on the floor. He was too late, She was still human so this could have only just happened. He was so close.  She had been here only a few houses away all this time, He would never forgive himself for this “It’s ok, I’ll take care of it. Get outta here Daryl” 

Y/N

Daryl? You tried to open your eyes but they were just too heavy. You were sure you heard him and it sounded close. You fought your eyes for a few minutes begging them to open when you felt something being dragged over you, Your hand instinctively reached up to protect yourself. 

Hands grabbed at your shoulders and shook you. “Y/N...Y/N? Can you hear me?” You nodded your head slowly, finally managing to open your eyes. Your eyes roamed the room looking for Daryl. You were sure you had heard him. You tried to speak to ask where he was but all that came out was a painful croak. 

Rick pulled you into his arms softly “It’s ok, It’s ok now. You’re safe. I got you” He muttered softly pulling you closer to him. “I’m going to carry you outta here now, Is that okay Y/N?” You nodded and let him lift you into his arms gently feeling his skin against yours as he had used his shirt to try and cover your nakedness. He adjusted the shirt so it was covering you more fully and carried you through the house to the front porch. 

You saw Daryl now he was on his knees on the floor hands covered in blood, His head in Nicole's arms and in front of him was Spencer he wasn’t moving his eyes were wide, He was dead. 

You tried to call out to Daryl again reaching your arm out slightly. “Shh Y/N Don’t try to talk. We gotta get you to Denise” Rick looked at you and saw the blood staining the shirt he had used to cover you. “Shit, We gotta go now. Stay awake for me Y/N Just stay awake” 

He took off running with you still in his arms “DENISE, DENISE GET OUT HERE NOW” “Stay awake Y/N. Don’t you dare go to sleep on me” You gripped rick tighter with your arms trying to reassure him that you were still conscious. 

Daryl looked up tentatively not believing what he was seeing, Two minutes ago he was so sure you were dead and now Rick was rushing you away, It made no sense. 

They placed you on the examination table in the infirmary Denise quickly removing and assessing your wounds. “Rick grab me some morphine from that cabinet, I also need a needle, wire and some gauze should all be in there” 

He hurriedly put them all on the table next to you and watched her start work, He looked down at you and realised you were naked again. “Uhm Denise if there's nothing else you need. I’ll go and update the guys waiting” You looked at him panicked now grabbing his hand and shook your head no at him. 

“Ok Y/N, OK. I got you, I’m not going anywhere” He sat with you and held your hand the entire time Denise was working you over only letting go to help her or grab something. 

“We’re done, Would you take her through to the other room and get her in a more comfortable bed? And I'll go grab her some food and water.” He nodded at her and mumbled an apology to you before putting his arms around you and lifting you back to his chest again. 

You were shocked by how comforting it was feeling his skin on yours, You nuzzled your head into his chest as he carried you, Finally feeling safe in someone’s arms, Rick tried to put you down on the bed but you couldn’t face this feeling being gone, You knew if he did you would wake up and it would all be a dream. 

Rick looked at you torn but ultimately decided to lie down with you letting you curl into his body. Denise was back then eyeing the two of you before handing over the tray with stew and a bottle of water, Rick nodded his head at her before offering you the tray. The stew was heaven going down you smiled up at Denise gratefully. 

Washing it down with the bottle of water, You tried to speak again. “Daryl..?” Thank god you were scared after two months it may have taken a lot longer for your vocal chords to warm up. Rick just looked at you and shrugged “I thought he’d of been in here by now, I’m sure he will be along soon” 

You took another drink of water “Did he ever love me?” You croaked out desperately. You felt the tears fall down your face, “He never loved me” 

Rick cleared his throat “Any chance you can get her something to wear Denise?” 

Daryl’s pov

He felt Nicole's arms around him dragging him away from Spencer, He had killed her so he had killed him. Daryl had promised him he would, He just wished he had done it sooner, If he had, None of this shit would have happened and he would be lying in bed right now with Y/N happy. 

He was crying into Nicole's chest now wrapping his arms around her and holding on for dear life when he heard a commotion from behind him. He didn’t look. What was the point? Nothing mattered any more. 

Nicole was shaking him then “Daryl, Daryl look” You followed her eye line and saw her, Her eyes were open she was alive? 

He was acutely aware of everything now. He could hear rick screaming for help, Y/N curling arms around his neck as he ran. Carol at his side pulling him to his feet. “C’mon Daryl we gotta get you cleaned up.” He let Carol drag him home in shock. She turned to Nicole “I’ve got him now, I think you should get going. I need to get him to Y/N” She glared at her now, Nicole breaking under the glare “mm okay, I’ll come see you later D?” 

Carol snapped back “I don’t think that’s wise, Bye now” She pulled Daryl into the house with more urgency and sat him down on the same stool she sat him on when she told him Y/N was missing. Carol then brought a wet cloth over and started cleaning his hands, Cleaning the cloth and repeating until the blood was gone, Next she worked on his face and neck removing all signs of the fight with Spencer. 

As she was finishing up there was a frantic knocking on the door, Rushing over to answer she found Denise on the porch. “Hey Carol, Sorry to bother you so late! Any chance you could grab some clothes for Y/N and something for her to sleep in? Oh um also…. Daryl….Could Rick borrow a shirt?” 

Carol smiled at her “Come in Denise, I’ll just be a minute” Carol disappeared down to the basement while Denise made her way to Daryl. 

“You ok?” He briefly nodded back at her. “She is too, you know in case you were wondering?” Was she making it out like he didn’t care? Was she fuckin kiddin? Of course he cared. He just couldn’t face her yet, The shame was overbearing. She had been so close and he hadn’t been the one to save her. 

Carol came back with a handful of clothes and gave them to Daryl. “Go on now, You’ll take these and let poor Denise get some rest!” He just nodded numb knowing better than to even try and argue with Carol. Getting to his feet he shuffled to the door and down to the infirmary. It took him 5 minutes of pacing outside the door before he could get up the courage to go in. 

He knocked on the door Denise had told him they would be in and his heart broke again. There she was still as beautiful as ever, Still naked and wrapped in the wrong arms. It was a nightmare he would have most nights, He threw his shirt at Rick. Glaring at him, Rick tried to move away from Y/N now Daryl was here. “Noo, You said you wouldn’t leave me Rick” She croaked, Rick looked over at Daryl Apologetically before trying to calm Y/N

Daryl knelt on his knees at the side of the bed and tried to hold her hand, Y/N pulled away as if she had been shocked. Fresh tears running down her face. 

She looked up at Rick again. “It’s ok Y/N your safe, He won’t hurt you” 

Y/N’s POV

Daryl was here, He was really here after the last two months desperate to have him see you, You now didn’t know what to do. You were scared he didn’t love you, So why would he be here now. 

You looked at his warily seeing the torment on his face when you pulled away from him and into Rick. Rick said it was safe but was it? You let Rick pull away this time. “Ok, If you say so. Could you uh give us a minute?” 

“Sure Y/N i'll leave you guys too it” 

You nodded a thanks and watched him leave throwing a shirt over his head as he went. You sat in silence watching the door Rick left through. 

“Y/N” His voice was trembling. “Y/N please look at me” “Baby PLEASE” You flinched and wrapped your arms around yourself when he raised his voice. 

“No baby no, Ya aint gotta be scared of me, Please i’d never, I couldn’t. I love ya Y/N” 

Your eyes flared feeling the anger “No you don’t, I could see you. I saw you give up on me. I saw you laughing and getting closer to her. I was made to watch all of it, While he told me how much you didn’t care and all the things you were doing that I couldn’t see…. He said….He said you didn’t love me..,You can’t love me...Look at me Daryl who could ever love me now” 

You felt the bed sink as he climbed onto it with you, You tried to squirm away from him but his arms found you first, He pulled you into his chest and you instantly felt calm...That damn motor oil smell mixed with him was enough to make you melt. You hated that he had this effect on you even now. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I should’ve been here to protect ya, I should’ve been the one to save ya.” He was hugging you tighter and tighter now “I thought ya were dead, I was gonna join ya” He murmured into your hair. 

“I never gave up on ya, not really. I searched every face i saw waiting for ya to come back to me” 

You still stayed silent, too scared to interrupt him you knew he wouldn’t open up like this to you again and as much as your mind was telling you he was lying to you, Your heart was opening up to him again. You wrapped your arms around him suddenly sobbing. 

“I aint ever stop loving you sunflower, Ya my whole heart”

“Why...Look at me i’m ruined” You stuttered

“Ya aint ruined, Ya strong, incredible beautiful” 

“I’m not Daryl, I let him break me. You don’t know the things he did if you knew you’d hate me”

“I’d never hate you Y/N, No matter what he did it wouldn’t change how I feel. Ya can tell me anything.” 

You lay in each other's arms till morning in silence both wide awake just grateful you were in this moment together. When the sun started coming through the windows he broke the silence. 

“Let’s get ya dressed k?” You nodded and let him help you out of bed and pull your pyjamas over you. Once you had finished Denise walked in. “Good morning Y/N How are you feeling?” 

“Sore...Tired… Can i go home now?”

“I’d really like you to stay here for a few more days so i can keep an eye on you but you know your body. D’ya think you will be okay?” 

You nodded quickly to her “Can you took me home? I’d really like to be in my own bed - I mean your bed….If that’s okay?” You looked up at him nervously half expecting him to tell you it was no longer your home. 

He nodded at you. Denise piped up again “Fine but complete bed rest, I’ll be checking on you every few hours i don’t want to catch you on your feet, not even once until you’ve healed more” 

Daryl pulled you into his arms sweeping you off your feet. “Ya heard the lady stay off your feet, Thank ya Doc” 

He strode out of the office quickly happy to have you back in his arms again. It seemed the whole town was out to see you leave waiting on news, Daryl growled at the ones who tried to approach and carried you home as quickly as he could, He paused at the door to the basement. “Ya sure Y/N?” You nodded at him happily “I’m sure” 

He carried you down the stairs and lowered you gently to the bed. You noticed there was a thin layer of dust in here his pillow was even exactly as you had left it. 

Daryl rubbed the back of his head nervously. “Ya uhm i haven’t been in here since well since you were” You grimaced the thought of him in this bed was one of the thoughts that had gotten you through. 

“I’ll let ya sleep Y/N Ya don need me hoverin” 

“Daryl I need you here, I need to know that when I wake up it wasn’t all a dream and you’re still here. Please don’t leave me” Silently he went to his side of the bed and lay down, Arms pinned at his side. You giggled slightly and stopped the feeling and sound so alien to you now, He looked at you curiously as you touched your lips in awed confusion. 

You lifted your head naturally as you always did, This was your prompt for him to squeeze his arm through the gap. You were happy when he followed suit and pulled you to him. 

He breathed in the scent of you “I’m here now baby” This was the moment you had been longing for the entire time you were apart you smiled as you drifted asleep in his arms. 

You had listened to doctors orders for the first time in your life allowing Daryl and Carol to take care of you, You had seen Nicole come around for Daryl a few times with Carol shooing her away. You couldn’t blame her, Even if it did make you a little jealous. He was intoxicating. After the fourth day on bed rest you asked Daryl to help you shower. His eyes grew hard when he helped you undress the pain crossing his face when he saw you fully. He carried you into the shower and left to take off everything but his boxers and vest. He got back in with you and cradled you for a little while letting the water wash over you both before he started to gently wash you.

Feeling his hands run over your body was electric, You couldn’t believe you were capable of feeling such lust for him still. After everything your body had sustained it still wanted him with everything you had. 

He was careful not to touch you too much as he washed your body and then your hair. You could feel him growing hard on your back before he quickly moved his core away from you. 

He left the water on carrying you out of the shower, grabbed a towel wrapping you tightly and brought you back to the bed and leaving you to change. Taking a shirt and some lounge pants with him back to the bathroom. You could hear his wet clothes hit the floor, Knowing he was naked with water cascading down him in the next room was almost enough to send you over the edge. When he came back he was dry and fully dressed again any hint of his growing erection gone. You were sad to see this but also knew you weren’t fully ready for anything to happen yet. 

Daryl joined you in bed again still not speaking a word pulling you into his arms and allowing you to drift peacefully to sleep. 

You awoke suddenly his arms were gone and you could hear rustling on the other side of the room, Allowing your eyes to open slowly you looked over and there he was in all his glory back turned to you looking for a pair of boxers. You couldn’t have stopped yourself even if you had tried, He turned to you as you approached, wrapping your arms around him wanting to feel every inch of exposed beautiful skin. 

He gripped your arms pulling you off of him and quickly dressed. 

Finally he looked at you “Doc says you’re off bed rest now and Rick needs me on guard duty. I’m sorry Y/N but i need to go” You nodded sadly at him, You were being selfish keeping him to yourself all this time. It had probably been killing him being locked away with you not being able to help the group. That was your man. Completely and utterly selfless. 

He kissed you briefly on the forehead before turning and leaving, Calling over his shoulder. “Carol’s waiting upstairs for you, She made breakfast” 

Smiling to yourself it had been too long since you had had some quality time with Carol, Getting changed quickly and lacing your boots up and walking into the kitchen. Your smile grew wider when you saw her and the food on the counter. 

“PANCAKES!” You rushed to the plate “Thank you thank you thank you” You exclaimed digging in immediately. 

You could hear Carol chuckling next to you. “It’s so lovely to see you still love these” 

Then with a wink “I’m still not telling you the secret though” You groaned happily “I’ll get it out of you one day lady” 

She regarded you thoughtfully “Well how about a trade?” You raised your eyebrow at her. “What kind of trade?” You asked with a full mouth 

Carol tutted at you “Y/N don’t talk with your mouth full!” She scolded. You grumbled “Sorry!” 

You smiled at her again, eating the pancakes as quickly as you could, Washing it down with water. 

“Sooooo….What kind of trade?” 

“I’ll tell you my secret ingredient if you tell me what happened down there” You froze panic rising through your veins. She was at your side instantly arms around you comforting you “Y/N i’ve told you about Ed and when i started letting people in and talking about what he did to me it no longer defined me and i was able to move on. I just want the same for you. I won’t push but when you're ready to tell me. I’ll always be ready to listen” 

It was your turn to regard her thoughtfully this time. Sighing you started from the night he took you and forced the words out, Forcing yourself to get it off your chest. Carol looked at you in horror and tears in her eyes when you had finished. 

Pulling you closer she choked out “I’m so sorry Y/N I promise he can’t hurt you any more, He’s with my Ed now. Rotting in hell” 

She had been right once you had spoken about it and shared your horrors. It felt like she was carrying some of the weight for you. Breathing deeply, trying to enjoy the lessening of the pressure on your chest. You spent at least another hour with her just holding you while you both cried. 

Over the next few weeks you found yourself opening up to Carol more and more everyday. You knew that you would never fully be over it especially now things had gone back to how they were before you and Daryl had gotten together the first time. He came home at night wrapping you in his arms and left at first light barely speaking two words to you. 

Your head was wrapped in thoughts of him again when Carol spoke up.

“Ok enough of this now Sweetie, we're getting you out of this house” Carol smiled at you wiping your face with her hand. Jumping to your feet “Yes please!” You left the house arm in arm ignoring the stares from the neighbours and occasionally stopping to say hello to someone or have a quick conversation. You both stopped at the gates looking out. Carol looked up at the tower seeing Daryl was gone. 

“Now for the fun part! We’re going for some smash therapy!” She nodded at Sasha who handed you a bag with weapons, Discussing the small herd on the west side of the fence who were causing a little trouble. Sasha flung the gate open quickly and you both ran out. Laughing, finally feeling free outside of those stuffy gates you quickly turned serious, running after Carol gripping the two machete’s in your hands. 

You worked together drawing a few away at a time and swiftly taking them down. Exhausted but happy you made your way back to the gate knocking on the front. The gate opened sharply. 

Shit… It wasn’t Sasha.. 

Daryl’s POV

All this time he had waited for you to be back in his arms, He was torn. He felt like the luckiest man on the planet and also like the worst one. He felt so guilty every time he saw her face and what that monster had done to her beautiful body. 

When Denise had come to say that Y/N was cleared to resume as normal all he could think about was getting away from those mixed up feelings for a few hours and was even more grateful when Rick had asked him to go back to guard duty. 

He was just about to pull some clothes on when he felt her grab him, He pulled her arms from him pinning them to her side and quickly dressed feeling ashamed. He wanted her more than anything but he knew if he had felt her skin on his for even a moment longer he would give in to his primal urges and after all she had been through he couldn’t risk that now.

He ran out telling her about breakfast nodded to Carol and headed to the guard tower not thinking in his rush. He climbed up to the top and saw Nicole waiting for him “Uhm Hey Stranger” He smiled “Hey yaself” he reached over his shoulder to grab his - Shit. “I’ll be back gotta go get ma bow” Nicole nodded at him and turned her eyes back outwards. 

He climbed back down and ran back to the house. Not wanting to disturb Carol & Y/N he opened the door softly and crept into the hall, He was inches away from his bow when he heard Y/N talking “He forced himself on me night after night Carol and if i fought he made it a thousand times worse, He would cut me or use a cattle prod on me and if they weren’t close enough it was whatever was closest at the time.” Daryl froze in the hall her words washing revulsion over him.

He didn’t want to hear anymore but he couldn’t make his legs move so he stayed in place just listening to her talk wanting to kill the son of a bitch all over again. After what felt like an eternity he heard Carol console her and he was finally able to move his limbs again. Creeping back outside he felt the sickness come over him and darted behind the house loosing his breakfast. 

He made his way back to the guard tower trying to forget all the things he had heard. He found it even hard to look at her now the shame was becoming a part of him tearing him limb from limb every time she looked at him. He was sure she felt it too, How she didn’t hate him for what she had been through he didn’t know Daryl despised himself. 

He kept out of her way only coming home to sleep and comfort her in the night when it was too dark to see those beautiful eyes staring up at him. 

Nicole had become his solace once more, She was easy to be around and made him laugh, Forgetting for a few moments about the hidden guilt he carried with him now.

He was with her coming onto guard laughing as usual with Nicole's hand on his chest when he saw them return. Y/N had to be covered head to toe in walker blood. Seething he ran to the gate pulling it violently open.

Y/N Pov

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N YA TRYING TO FUCKIN GET YASELF KILLED?” He screamed at you. You froze walking back into Carol in fear. 

She walked inside with you covering your body with hers. “Daryl, Enough!” Carol snapped at him. 

He roared eyes dark “NO ITS NOT ENOUGH, YA COULDA OF DIED Y/N. I WASN'T THERE TO KEEP YA SAFE, YA’D BE DEAD AND I WOULD BE HERE” He choked “Alone...Alone again” Nicole walked forward and put her hand on his shoulder.

You were sobbing now, Rick had wandered over hearing Daryl’s shouts. You darted over to him. Instinctively wrapping your arms around him and burying yourself in his chest. Rick had checked in on you everyday since he rescued you and you found yourself being drawn to him, Not in the same way as Daryl he wasn’t quite the sun in your universe. But he was comforting to spend time around, He listened to you and it was only him and Carol that didn’t look at you like a wounded animal. 

Rick wrapped his arms around you protectively. “Daryl quit your hollerin, What's goin on here”

Daryl watched you seek protection from him and it was just too much, He turned and walked away muttering to himself. “C’mon you two, Come tell me what just happened” Rick said once Daryl had disappeared with Nicole following him.

You all walked back to Rick’s home that he shared with his son Carl and infant Daughter Judith. You happily sunk to the floor hugging Judith. There was something so comforting about being around an innocent that didn’t know of this world and its pain yet. You wished you could protect her from all of it.

Carol sat with Rick and guiltily explained what the two of you had done. You could tell Rick wasn’t happy with it but let it go when he saw that you were both completely unharmed. 

You had tried to talk to Daryl after that and he had pretended you didn’t exist. You were grateful that because of your growing friendship with Rick he had let you stay with him and the kids. 

You found yourself spending more time watching Daryl wishing he would just look at you but he never did. 

It was on one of these nights watching him that you saw it and he broke you all over again..

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