#which thereby makes her the best

[rivalsforlife]

I sometimes think of Galadriel as the “girl of all time” which feels rude to Luthien. But like Luthien is objectively more powerful but she’s also too perfect. Galadriel has that Noldor Messiness to her and proper ambition for power and ruling lands of her own. Luthien’s moments of Power are protecting her little human boyfriend which I mean good for her but it’s not as interesting. Tolkien trying to backpedal Galadriel’s role in the rebellion was a mistake imo because her being actively involved in this rebellion and still power-hungry even well into the third age where being an evil queen is still so tempting to her is like the main appeal of her to me. 

[lurking-latinist]

⛵

[inkskinned]

the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.

women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.

what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.

i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.

fuck, man. write better material.

a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.

god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.

this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.

we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.

i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -

it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.

[reasonsforhope]

"Governor Janet Mills announced that Maine has, two years ahead of time, surpassed its goal of installing 100,000 new heat pumps by 2025, a milestone that represents significant progress in reducing Maine’s reliance on heating oil, lowering heating costs, and curbing harmful carbon emissions.

To continue Maine’s momentum, Governor Mills also unveiled a new target: installing another 175,000 additional heat pumps in Maine by 2027, thereby bringing the number of heat pumps installed in Maine homes, businesses, and public buildings during her time in office to 275,000.

If this target is achieved, Maine would have more than 320,000 heat pumps in total installed across the state.

Heat pumps can be thought of as temperature recycling machines. They are filled with refrigerant fluid and contain a compressor, and they work by extracting excess heat and moving it around, either in or out of a house depending on whether it’s hot or cold.

It’s believed they work best in hot weather, but in February, Maine’s temperatures in some places plummeted during a cold snap to -60°F. Efficiency Maine, which aided in the state’s adoption of heat pumps by organizing rebates for customers under the provisions of the Inflation Reduction Act, did a survey of owners they had helped the previous year.

Many of [the heat pump owners] reported they were comfortable and warm, and offered to bring up the fact that by February they had already saved hundreds of dollars on home heating systems, over boilers, gas furnaces, and heating oil.

“We are setting an example for the nation,” said Mills at the announcement event. ​“Our transition to heat pumps is… curbing our reliance on fossil fuels, and cutting costs for Maine families, all while making them more comfortable in their homes—a hat trick for our state.”

The transition began in 2019 with bipartisan support of the Legislature, when Governor Mills enacted laws setting ambitious targets for transitioning to renewable energy and reducing greenhouse gas emissions."

-via Good News Network, July 31, 2023

[gay-dorito-dust]

hi!! could you maybe write for being the younger sibling of dipper and mabel? maybe the reader is like, 9/10 y.o i wonder what they're sibling relationships would be as well as they're relationship with stan and ford

They say a bond between twins is a bond unlike any other, but didn’t mean that dipper or Mabel cared about you any less then they did each other, you were their baby sibling and they were always going to have your back no matter what.

Dipper would be the protective older brother who’s sometimes come across as strict and would often forbid you from joining him and Mabel on monster hunts, stating that you were too young to be doing something as dangerous as hunting monsters.

You’d naturally respond with the fact that technically he and Mabel were also too young to be going head on into monster hunting too, so thereby making the statement redundant and him look like a hypocrite. To which Dipper would agree with you on but still would tell you it was too dangerous for you, he only wants to keep you safe but you had too much of a stubborn spirit to be easily swayed into staying put.

Mabel on the other hand was the chill sibling who’d let you join in the monster hunting any day because she didn’t want you feeling left out. After all it was kinda a family thing to hunt the unknown of gravity falls at this point, so she didn’t see why you shouldn’t come along with her and Dipper because as long as you had the journal with you, you were fine.

You tend to argue with dipper more than Mabel but that’s because dipper tended to take himself too seriously as your older brother while Mabel doesn’t take herself seriously enough. So whenever you and dipper did argue, Mabel tended to be the peace keeper between the two of you or use Waddles as a distraction from your arguing to come together.

Despite all this you, Dipper and Mabel were loyal and faithful to one another that there wasn’t anything any of you wouldn’t do for the other.

Dipper would give up everything to keep you and Mabel safe as he knew you and her would do the same and you did on multiple occasions, saving each other’s lives and so on. You all headed into the unknown together, never once thinking of leaving the other behind because if one of you were to go down, the other two would rush to your side and pick you back up.

You helped dipper decode stuff and listen to him drone on about Wendy from time to time while playing dungeons, dungeons and emore dungeons with him and Grunkle Ford.

You’d help Mabel bedazzle everything in sight and spend time with her, Candy and Grenda on the odd occasion of doing karaoke with her and grunkle Stan whenever the occasion calls for a bit of fun.

You were best friends with Dipper and Mabel as much as you were siblings and that was the best kind of relationship you had.

Also if Mabel had waddles then you have a pet raccoon or maybe an axolotl like Ford once did.

If dipper was similar to Ford

And if Mabel was similar to Stanley

Then you were the perfect balance of both of them. Stubborn and sometimes silly like Stan but curious and observant like Ford.

Stan and Ford could clearly see bits and pieces of themselves in you like they could with Dipper and Mabel, with the only difference being that you weren’t a twin nor had a twin but that didn’t stop either Grunkle from wanting to spend time with you.

They had to play rock, paper, scissors against one another to see who’d get to spend time with you first, only for Stan to come out the victor.

Stan would teach you how to box first and foremost so that if anyone tried anything with you, they’d get decked in the face from a vicious right hook. He just wants you to be able to protect yourself even if you were only 9/10 it didn’t make a difference to him really.

Teaches you on how to con people out of their money, lie effortlessly and make quick get aways or even how to get out of handcuffs without trying. Did he once give you a fishing hat with your name stitched on it for the soul purpose of taking you fishing with him when Dipper was with Ford and Mabel was with Candy and Grenda? Yes, he wanted something only you and him could do together that was just yours and his.

Cuz it was either that or commit arson and or property damage to other competitors.

Now with Ford he’ll probably have you be outside with him and documenting strange looking mushrooms and or flowers that you’d come across. It sounds boring but it’s quite fun if you came across fairies and the like, however the moment Ford sees that you were about to fall into a Fae trap, he’s picking you up and getting you as far away from it as he could.

Just like Stan, Ford wanted something that was just for you and him, sure he and Dipper go monster hunting, and he and Mabel dressed up as witches once, but he wanted something he could do with just you.

You’d bond over the fact that you both had/have a pet axolotl.

You and Ford probably took a break from your joint documenting to make flower crowns for one another while having a small picnic in the woods. It was peaceful and relaxing to you but Ford was keeping an eye out to make sure nothing would disturb your little picnic, while looking as menacingly as he could with a cute flower crown on his head.

If you both found a flower that was never seen before, you can bet your ass that Ford is naming it after you, no questions asked.

Stan and Ford are just as protective of you as they are the twins and they can and will step in between you and whoever is making you uncomfortable, all the while keeping you safely behind them as Stan whips out his brass knuckles and Ford shows off the gun on his hip in a silent threat.

Nobody messes with their family and they’ll make sure that message is loud and clear.

Bonus; Bill would probably try to manipulate you into thinking that neither dipper, Mabel, Stan or Ford cared about you cuz twins will look out for each other always but you were the spare sibling that gets forgotten, Insisting Stan and Ford’s brother as reason as to why but you knew your family better then a sentient one eyed triangle did and know that your family would always come through for you time and time again.

And they have and they always will no matter what.

[papercorgiworld]

Boyfriend material: Theo Nott

Theo gets a little insecure, but when you go look for him things get interesting. He might be boyfriend material after all. Of course, smut!

This is part two. Read part one here.

Warning: piv, no protection, oral fem receiving.

Feedback is always very welcome.

Somewhat after midnight, you're dancing with Luna and a definitely drunk Hermoine. Theodore couldn’t help but glance at you once every minute. “There’s a thin line between admiring and stalking.” Pansy quipped as she seemed to appear out of nowhere. Theo rolled his eyes, making his way to a table overflowing with bottles of alcohol. “So who’s attention is she trying to get?” Theo asked nonchalantly as Pansy joined him at the table, scanning for something good. “She’s looking for a fun time and a boyfriend.” Theodore nodded. “So obviously, I advised her to go for Enzo.” Theo stayed quiet for a little too long for it to go unnoticed by Pansy. “Obviously.” Theo tried to regain composure. Pansy didn’t look at him, but poured herself a disgusting mix of alcohol. Theodore opened his mouth but no words came. Pansy looked up at him smirking at how confused she got the boy.

Pansy endured more of Theo’s silence as she took a sip of her drink. “Enzo, really?” Is all he managed to say and Pansy groaned in annoyance. “Yeah. Really! And unless you’re willing to commit to (y/n), as in being her boyfriend, you stay away from her. Got it, Nott?” Pansy stares him down and Theodore’s eyelids fall a bit as he nods with a sincere frown on his face. “Here, have this.” Pansy says handing her drink to Theo and leaving him with it. Enzo rests his hand on your lower back as he whispers something in your ear that makes you smile and gently bite your lower lip. Theo had been watching you ever since Pansy left him, debating on whether or not to make a fool of himself by competing with Enzo. The always confident Theodore suddenly saw himself as the stoner guy who’s main emotion was a shrug, he had no chance going up against mister Berkshire’s soft looks and his ability to understand women’s reasoning. He downs Pansy’s drink in one move and searches for a door outside, already grabbing for his cigarettes. I need to take my mind off of that woman.

“Those things will kill you.” You say as you join Theodore on the balcony (there’s a balcony bc room of requirement). He stares you up and down so slowly and intensely it makes you feel exposed. When he meets your eyes he looks away instantly. “You’ll probably kill me first.” He mutters almost inaudible, but you manage to catch on. “Where’s your future boyfriend?” You frown in confusion, wondering who he is referring to. “Enzo.” He clears up. “Oh, you think he likes me that much?” You ask as you go stand next to him enjoying the view but getting goosebumps from the cold. Theodore thinks over his answer. “I know he likes you and I know he will be good to you.” He states in a dry manner not looking at you even once. Your eyebrows knit together. “If this is the best sales pitch you have for your friend then you’re a sucky wingman.” Theo sighs. “It’s either a sucky wingman, or all-around sucky friend.” You step in front of him blocking his view of the Hogwarts grounds, thereby silently demanding an explanation, which you get. “Enzo is the perfect guy. And I’m not the perfect guy, but I assure you I’m the better boyfriend. For you.” He shakes his head immediately regretting opening up to you and being a shitty friend to Enzo.

You blush and can’t help but smile. “Don’t worry about Enzo. I don’t know how, but he immediately figured out that I’m only interested in you.” The man in front of you is now utterly confused. But then Theo’s dumb expression fades and his hand makes its way to your face to softly caress your blushed cheeks. “Enzo has a way of figuring out women, I don’t know how he does it. I never understand you women.” You smile and Theodore leans in to kiss you. His hands immediately start exploring your body and you enjoy his warm hands all over you, making you kiss him with fire and hunger for more. “But I must say I do know a few things about women too.” Theo says with a suggestive grin on his face. “Is that so?” You play innocent but when he takes your hand to take you elsewhere you follow all too willingly, your tongue already wetting your lips.

It takes only a moment for you to realize that he’s guiding you to your own dorm. “Are you taking us to my room?” You ask curiously. He gives you a quick peck on the lips. “Mine smells like dude.” You wrinkle your nose at the thought. “You won’t leave me in the middle of the night? Like I’m some random one night stand.” Theo chuckles and closes the door, now knowing that you’re alone he turns his full attention to you. He doesn’t immediately answer your question but strokes your hair gently and places a soft kiss on your forehead. A soft whisper against your skin follows. “No, I won’t leave.” His lips caress your temple and cheek making their way to your lips. His husky voice and warm breath makes your body simultaneously weak and desperate for him. So when he finally kisses you, patience is nowhere to be found. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back with hunger.

When Theo lifts you up you instinctively wrap your legs around him, leaving no space between your bodies. While he walks you both to your bed his hands slip under your dress exploring your bare back. Right before you reach the bed he unclips your bra and as he lowers you into the soft mattress he skilfully removes your dress, pulling it over your head in one swift move, leaving you in nothing but your shorts as he crawls on top of you. His eyes never leave the newly uncovered skin, feeling a little too exposed so suddenly, you gently push his chin up demanding eye contact and a kiss. He obliges and kisses you with enough passion to reassure you that he isn’t just here for his own entertainment. Though he can’t keep himself from exploring your breasts with his hands, softly squeezing them, while kissing you. Like he wasn’t driving you crazy with desire already, he rubs the hard bulge in his pants against your shorts, resulting in a soft cry from you. Were you impatient or was Theodore just taking his sweet time with you?

You tug at his shirt and he gets the hint pushing himself off of you to pull his shirt over his head revealing his toned chest and now tousled hair. Now it's your time to explore his body, you push yourself up and let your hand wander over his muscles. Contrary to Theo you don’t explore too long and quickly move your hands to his pants. A cocky smile appears as you unzip his pants eagerly. A groan escapes his mouth as he watches you carefully lower his pants and stroke his dick. His eyes roll to the back while you pump his hard member and enjoy the view of horny Theo being pleased with your touch. The Slytherin watches you through hooded eyelids. Your firm hand on his cock, you half naked, perked nipples, pretty face and probably a wet pussy Theo wants to fuck you bad. He wanted to take his time with you but seeing you like this, playing with his dick like this. Fuck.

He startels you when he suddenly pushes you down. He kisses you sloppily and then his tongue moves down, leaving a few quick kisses on your boobs while his hands remove your shorts and underwear making way for his mouth. Theo kisses your tights gently before attacking your pussy with hunger. You arch your back as he sucks and licks, enjoying your juices and loving every moan that escapes you. Your fingers dig in his skull while he eats you. However, he wants more of you, he wants all of you. Lucky for him you feel the same. After a while his face between your legs just isn’t enough anymore. “Theo, I need you.” He looks up murmuring against your soaking cunt, the sensations in your body reach a high. You need him inside of you like your life depends on it. “Theo, please, fuck me.”

Theodore’s face leaves your pussy soaking and throbbing as he crawls over you to kiss and nip your neck. You wrap your arms around him and he grabs his cock guiding it to your entrance. You hide yourself in the crook of Theo’s neck as he watches his hard shaft disappear inside your wonderful cunt. “Fuck, you take me so well.” He growls when fills you up completely. Your arms tighten around him and you search his lips for a kiss. He kisses you back with passion and slowly starts trusting. The kiss stops and your mouth just hangs open as Theo now pounds into you staring at your cunt taking all of him repeatedly. When he notices your moans getting louder he takes a hold of your hips making sure he hits your spot. Your fingers entangle in his hair and you pull him close. Your lips next to his ear breathing his name again and again. “You’re such a good girl, letting me fuck you.” Theo says with a hoarse voice, pushing you closer. You whine his name as you feel your orgasm approaching. He pushes himself up slightly so he has a full view of you as you reach your high.

He watches your whole body tense up as you moan his name like a mantra. He listens to your desperate voice as he continues to fuck you silly to chase his own high. When you feel him fill you up you tugg his arm demanding that he holds you as his spills is cum inside of you. He does as you ask and lets his phanting body lay on yours. You embrace his warmth as your walls readjust now that Theo slips out of you. When he lifts himself off you, you watch with longing eyes and he chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’m just gonna get us cleaned up and then I will squeeze the life out of you for the entire night.” You smile pleased to know that you can stay in his arms, your new safe space.

[kikitakite]

I saw your callout in the Gale tag for that one user (no comment on them, tho ty for the callout bc i'd seen them in the notes of my fics) and was curious if you could elaborate on some of the Mystra incidents you described towards the end of the post? I'm new to the lore of the setting and find it hard to research (which makes sense given its importance to dnd), so I've heard a lot of conflicting things about Mystra's portrayal in the wider series. No pressure, obviously!

No problem! And yea, I've seen her arguing in the posts of a few people I follow or just Gale-related posts I find interesting. Usually I don't get involved in stuff like this, but I noticed a constant pattern and then all the homophobic shit so I went off a little.

Unfortunately it's hard to find exact examples of the Mystra lore because certain modules aren't very popular or even free to access, but if you're interested the best way to learn about her is by reading the Elminster novels. There's twelve total, dating all the way back to 1994, and they detail Elminster's adventures. I'll be honest though, some of them are a hard read and written through the lens of a man who's admitted very creative, but also has a lot of problematic ideas.

In the first book Elminster is a child. His entire town gets wiped out by mages, thereby making him hostile toward magic. He sneaks into Mystra's temple to deface her statue one night, but she appears before him and basically gaslights him into learning magic and becoming her rare Chosen. He becomes a wizard and cleric basically overnight, until eventually he multiclasses into pretty much every class type in DnD. As you can imagine a lot of players aren't too fond of Elminster, as he's a well known self-insert of the author and pretty annoying to run into during campaigns. None of my dungeon masters like him anyway.

He also becomes one of Mystra's most loyal followers, but she fucks with him over and over, turning him into a woman to teach him a lesson and SLEEPING with him in that form, berating him when he struggles with the torture he endures when he gets stuck in the hells, making him reproduce without his knowledge and getting jealous when he gives his partners more attention. Because she's a very jealous goddess, which I think the game vaguely touches on but not really.

I wish I had the time to flip through all the novels and give exact citations but the best I can do is suggest them, because they're so eye opening. She's considered a neutral good goddess, but neutral gods often do terrible things for the sake of their domain. I think it needs to be noted that Mystra, as with all gods in the pantheon, only cares about her portfolio. She isn't wrong for that, but it doesn't mean she's blameless when she messes with people's lives. She's done a lot of good but she's also made horrible decisions, especially where her followers are concerned.

For example, Elminster having children he doesn't know about. He has a daughter named Narnra. Her conception was... pretty fucked up. Basically a song dragon named Ammaratha Cyndusk was an occasional lover of Elminster's (he has a lot of those because of course he does) and she wanted to bear his child, but since he's a Chosen of Mystra he can control his fertility. Magic birth control, basically. He didn't want a kid so Ammaratha went behind his back to learn a counterspell that would make him fertile during sex. The man she asked refused to teach her because...duh that's messed up, but then Mystra intervened and told him to teach her the spell because she wanted Elminster's "seed to spread". Ammaratha never told him and neither did Mystra. No matter what the reasons, that was NOT consensual on Elminster's part, and it happened two more times, resulting in two more daughters with different women. If I remember correctly Elminster did eventually find out waaaaay later when they were all adults, but it never amounted to anything.

The sisters I was taking about are the Seven Sisters, Mystra's "daughters". And I put "daughters" in quotations because Mystra possessed the body of a woman named Elué and impregnated her without her consent. She slept with the woman's husband (again, while possessing her body) and made them sire seven children. This of course lead to Elué's death because the constant flow of magic in her body was too much for her to handle. Her grieving husband broke after she died and eventually left, abandoning his daughters and earning Mystra's scorn...as if he was in the wrong. The sisters were then orphaned and raised by foster families.

That said, most of the awful things anyone can say about Mystra were the doings of her previous incarnations so ultimately it doesn't apply to the Mystra of BG3. In fact, this third Mystra is supposed to be a new and improved goddess who's nicer to her followers. So her portrayal in BG3 annoyed a lot of DnD fans. I should also point out that Mystra has two types of fans: ones who will defend everything she does, even when it's fucked up beyond all comprehension, and the ones who will tell you she's a true neutral goddess capable of good and bad. I'm the latter. There are plenty examples of Mystra sticking her neck out for innocents, but there's also examples of her doing the most horrendous shit imaginable.

A lot of veteran players, at least the ones I know, are upset with the portrayal of Mystra in BG3 because her plan to end the Absolute is, quite frankly, stupid. Your party is the best chance anyone has of ending the threat, but she asks Gale to nuke himself and possibly tens of thousands, which makes no sense because she could've just sent her mages/clerics to deal with the problem. And there was no guarantee the bomb would've worked anyway. She put all the responsibility on one man and it DEFINITELY comes off as vindictive. That isn't out if character for her but she's not SUPPOSED to be that bad anymore. For a lot of DnD players it felt like she was reverting back to her old habits.

I think there's also a part in the game where you can directly ask Gale why she doesn't just blip the Absolute out of existence and he says something like, "She could but Ao won't allow it." That was also really strange for a lot of veteran players to hear because Gale drops Ao's name like it's nothing. Most people (especially if they're new to the franchise) wouldn't know this but most people in Faerûn don't know who Ao is! Because he wiped people's memories of his existence! I suppose it does make sense for Gale to know that name, since Mystra probably explained the pantheon to him, but it's VERY unlikely tav would know it. So during that conversation all I could picture was tav tilting their head like, "Huh? Who? Whaaa?"

And on top of that......Ao absolutely WOULD allow it because the Absolute effects the Weave and every other god! It had the potential to ruin the balance of the universe, which makes Ao a very angry boy. Balance is one of the ONLY things he cares about. The Dead Three were stealing souls and worshippers, which gods needs to survive, and dying gods disrupts the balance. It's a whole circle of chaos. So the only conclusion left for me to extrapolate is this: Mystra just really, really wanted Gale to kill himself to prove his devotion to her. Which...isn't great. Bad look for her.

It's kind of like how Raphael thinks the Crown of Karsus is going to help him end the Blood War and take over the hells. DnD players laughed during his epilogue because...no it won't lol. He doesn't stand a chance even with the crown. He's arrogant and he's gonna get slapped by his daddy and all the other archdevils, the same way Gale gets slapped by Mystra if he ascends. Even the Absolute ending of the game wouldn't last long because the gods would go to war with the Dead Three, wipe them out and rebuild Faerûn, which has happened many times in past DnD campaigns. Mystra alone has torn worlds apart and glued them back together. The main crisis of BG3 is saving the world you live in or everybody dies. For the gods it's just a Tuesday. I mean look at how Withers owns the Dead Three with a wave of his hand at the end of the game. Mystra COULD'VE killed the Absolute, just as she could've removed the orb from Gale's chest the moment it happened. She just didn't WANT to. She wanted him to die. She wanted him to chastise himself. She wanted him to suffer and come crawling back to her as an obedient follower. She wanted him to learn a harsh and honestly unfair lesson, which is a terrible throwback to her previous incarnations.

[heavilysaltedbagel]

What a way to show off everyone's strengths as comedians and writers, too. Brennan, Katie, and Raph have distinct voices in their work that are largely informed and made unique by their own personalities. This makes them ideal first tier Bingo subjects/victims, due to their voices being distinct and distinctly different from one another.

(I wrote a way more thorough analysis of the structure and cast choices made for this episode. Whoops. More under the cut.)

At the Second level, we have Rekha, Trapp, and Lily. Unlike the first three, these three are all excellent at stepping back and prompting others. Brennan points out the Trapp is an excellent straight man. On Dirty Laundry, Lily consistently will listen and wait to send out little jabs that cut through the bits to keep things fresh. Rekha is a quick thinker and will oftentimes make a joke about how proud she is of a dumb joke, thereby simultaneously making a joke and joking about the joke. It's great.

Tier one Bingo players all have a tendency to commit and commit hard to what they do and say, to their own characters and schemes, whereas tier 2 takes one step back and will often times react to either their own jokes or take a broader look at what others have said. They are, to me, the clearest candidates for the jester in the king's court. Additionally, they all clearly have a fiendish streak that made them (a) perfect candidates to torture the first three and (b) ideal Bingo subjects/victims for the third tier of Bingo players.

At the Third tier, Jess, Tao, and Carolyn do not typically take on front-and-center stage characters. Tao I would categorize as a gracious dork. On Game Changer, he plays up his 'weaknesses' for laughs, or (in the case of Secret Samta) takes advantage of his weaknesses in order to pull the rug out from under everyone. I could say the same for Jess, which you can see clearly in the very first episode of game changer. Jess is also able to do and say otherwise embarrassing things with complete confidence. Carolyn is the only person on the third tier who I haven't seen very much of, but she's hot and funny so what else do you need?

Anyways, the third tier folk are all so incredibly deliberate about their choices and what they do and say. They take a look at all of the dominoes before deciding where exactly it is best to knock them down. This makes them well suited for their roles as prompters for what is presumed to be REAL LIFE. (i.e. the second tier are not aware that they are just as subject to Sam's mind games and the first tier. Their prompts all have to seem natural). Jess, Tao, and Carolyn are fantastically well suited to this. They are all willing to put themselves and others through awkward situations that are adjacent to real life scenarios, all for the bit. And they do it spectacularly.

In this way, not only is the show structured with tier one as set up, tier two as build up, and tier three as punch line, but also each cast of comedians within each tier is perfectly suited for that structure of joke. Brennan, Katie, and Raph are excellent at committing hard to a scenario (the set up). Trapp, Reha, and Lily are fantastic at building up tension and fleshing out that scenario (the build up). And Jess, Tao, and Carolyn were brilliant at subverting in the third act (the punchline).

I'd also like to point out that there's a relationship here with increasing material at each tier as well. All the first tier has to work with is the bingo game and what Sam gives them as prompts and encouragement. They fill in the rest with their character. The second tier thinks they have all of the material and therefore dismiss otherwise strange circumstances (Rekha on the apple box, the um actually box, Lily putting her foot up on the table). The third tier actually does have all of the material, and that material includes their own bingo games, everything that tier 2 is doing, and everything that tier 2 is reacting to on the game changer set.

Anyways, whoops wrote an essay.

TLDR: Gamechanger Bingo does an awesome job at showing off everyone's different skills in comedy. It's excellent. I love it.

[golbrocklovely]

the rakish gentlemen // sam and colby

A/N: just a general statement across the board: i'm not going for historical accuracy here. i did a very small amount of research for this, most of which was based on the language and some of the societal norms but even then, it wasn't a thorough search. so if things are incorrect or not quite right… that's why. also this is heavily inspired by my new found love for bridgerton, so anything in the story that reminds you of that (show or book wise) - that's also why lol anyone that writes regency romances or stories, props to you bc the formal English alone made me want to off myself. just kidding… but not really. anyway, i hope you enjoy this one. it was fun to write once i got the hang out it. lmk what you think and i'll see you guys with another fic (hopefully) soon :)

prompt: being out in society was enough of a challenge, but overhearing two very sought after lords' snide remarks about you made you want to give up altogether. that is until you hatch a plan - make them beg for your hand in marriage, and then leave them high and dry. it should be simple enough. || AU!regency era sam and colby x fem!reader

trigger warning: formal english (lol), historical inaccuracy, lots of 'samuel' and 'cole' so if you don't like that don't read lol, snc are kind of dicks but they turn it around by the end somewhat, just a whisper of smut but not really, cliff hanger ending??, heavy on gender norms of the time period so be weary of that if that's something you don't like, bit of angst, everyone is of age/in their 20s

word count: 6347

~~~~~~~~

The weather in London during the middle of spring was the absolute best time of year, according to most in the Ton. To Miss Y/N Y/L/N, it was the most splendid of weather to promenade with one's closest confidant, and for her that was Miss Amelia Ruteledge. The two had been inseparable since childhood, living across the street from one another. And coming out in society together only strengthened their bond over the last two seasons.

"How eager are you for Lady Gillingham's masquerade ball this evening?" Amelia asked, coyly stealing a glance at Y/N.

"I can hardly wait. I am positively elated." Y/N replied dryly, her faux smile wide.

"Y/N, must you indulge in sarcasm?" She questioned.

"Yes, Amelia. I must," a quiet laugh fell from her lips. "It is hard for me to be excited for yet another ball, one where I will again be doomed to the corner of the room, watching as others dance."

"I had presumed you enjoyed observing." Amelia teased.

"It is not as fun anymore, ever since your courtship with Viscount Throne began." Y/N sighed, wiping away pretend tears from her cheeks, "Alas, my spinsterhood is in full bloom."

She shook her head, patting Y/N's arm sweetly, "Don't be ridiculous. You are nowhere near being a spinster."

"I'm two years out in society with little to show for it. One might believe I had contracted the plague, given how much the gentlemen of the Ton disregard me." Y/N rolled her eyes, her voice bitter.

"You mustn't say that. You are an absolute catch, by all accounts." Amelia argued, looking into Y/N's eyes.

She huffed. "Thank you. But your opinion apparently is the only one that is favorable towards me."

"That is simply not true," she protested back. "I believe many gentlemen in the Ton would admire you once they were acquainted. But I would not be surprised if your charm and wit intimidate them, thereby causing their reluctance."

A cheeky smile appeared on Y/N's face. "I couldn't have said that better myself." The ladies giggled, continuing down the walkway towards a small pond. Y/N glanced upwards, noting the eligible men coming their way. Grabbing Amelia's arm, she yanked her behind a tree close by, pressing her back tightly against the oak.

Amelia furrowed her brow, "What ails you?"

Y/N hushed her, looking over Amelia’s shoulder. "I don't wish to speak to anyone else presently. Particularly suitors."

"So you think hiding behind a tree is wise?" She blinked.

Y/N wanted to glare, but held back. "Guess I'm not as witty as you thought."

Amelia peaked behind the tree, their maids coming closer to them. She gestured for them to stop, not wanting the men Y/N was so flustered by to notice. The maids turned towards each other, giving a knowing look, and faced the pond instead.

"Did they leave yet?" Y/N whispered.

Amelia hummed. "No. They are still coming our way."

"Damn." She cursed, scrunching her face.

"Speak louder. I am sure your coarse tongue will make them leave hastily." She gaped.

Y/N held back more careless words, doing her best to remain calm. "I am certain that any gentleman has heard far worse words than a solitary curse from a lady's lips."

Amelia peaked again, her eyes widening. "Oh, you are correct about that. Did you see who was coming?"

"No. I just knew it was three gentlemen." Y/N dissented.

"It's Mr. Beaumont... with Lord Golbach and Lord Brock." Amelia choked out.

"Ah, even worse than I imagined." Y/N gulped.

Lord Samuel Golbach and Lord Cole Brock were some of the most sought after men in all of the Ton. Eager mamas and anxious daughters alike pined to be seen affectionately by the two Lords. They were not only rich, but handsome - a deadly combination. And with years of friendship under their belt, they were basically family to one another. Everyone out in society knew - to get in good graces with one, you had to be liked by the other.

But even with everyone wanting their attention, they were seldom to give it out. The rakish behavior displayed by the two was known throughout, which confused Y/N deeply. Why play cat and mouse if one knows it's not trying to be caught? Why pretend to be an eligible bachelor if there were no plans to seek a wife at all?

Y/N knew to stay away. She had no interest in them, moreover.

"Mr. Beaumont, I do believe you are one of the funniest men in all of London." Cole chuckled, clasping the man on the shoulder.

Edward bowed, "Such high praise coming from you, Lord Brock. You two are going to tonight's ball, yes?"

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world." Samuel grinned, glancing at Cole knowingly.

"I must ask, are there any ladies that have caught your eye this season?" Edward continued.

Samuel shook his head, "Unsurprisingly, no. Cole and I have very high standards. So high, in fact, it has been impossible to find anyone worthy of matching with." 

"How incredibly rude." Amelia murmured.

"I am confident there are several ladies in the Ton that would be worthy of becoming your wives. What about Miss Mullens?" Edward mentioned.

"Terrible dancer." Cole quipped.

He questioned, "How about Miss Walford?" 

Samuel frowned. "Her character is sorely lacking." 

"Miss Ramsbury?" He puzzled.

"Beautiful indeed, most obnoxious laugh I've ever heard however." Cole jeered.

"Miss Y/L/N! What about her? She seems well." Edward exclaimed.

A silence filled the air, Y/N only hearing the sound of her pounding heart within her breast. While she may not have harbored interest in either Lord, the notion of their thoughts about her caused her skin to tingle thrillingly. She had never heard a man speak of her in any way, romantic or otherwise. She was eager to know.

Both men snickered, an almost childish laugh cutting through. Samuel cleared his throat, "You must be joking, Beaumont. That lady, would be the last on our list to ever be courted by us. Remember, we have high standards."

"Not even worthy of considering, if I'm honest." Cole sniveled.

“I suppose those are the lower ranking ladies of the Ton.” Mr. Beaumont chortled.

Amelia moved to jump out from behind the tree, ready to give all three gentlemen a piece of her mind. Y/N grabbed her arm, yanking her close. She motioned for her to remain silent, listening once more to the Lords and Mr. Beaumont.

"It is getting late, good sirs. I must be arriving back home soon for late afternoon tea with the missus. Good day, Lord Golbach. Lord Brock. Best of luck on your endeavors." He bowed, the Lords following suit.

Y/N finally turned to all three gentlemen, still covered by the oak tree. She watched as the Lords went off in the opposite direction as Mr. Beaumont. She waited until they were far enough away, taking her first breath in for what felt like years.

"I cannot believe those men!" Amelia screeched lowly.

Y/N slid down the tree, resting her head back, exhausted. "It's incredible, really. Dare I say... humbling?"

"Calling them rakes is the nicest thing I can think of. They are-" She started.

Cutting her off, Y/N placed a hand up. "Save your words, Amelia. Heaven knows I'm thinking far worse than you."

She stared at the ground for a moment, replaying their words over and over in her head. It hurt to hear how cold they were towards her, someone they had never even had a single conversation with.

"Lord Golbach and Lord Brock don't know you, Y/N. And by the way they speak of strangers, they don't deserve to know you either. No wonder no one has won their affections. They have far too much for themselves." Amelia retorted. She fanned herself, feeling her skin growing hot with anger.

Y/N mumbled. "High standards, remember?"

"I have heard of the numerous rejections they’ve given to the ladies of the Ton. It's astonishing how sought after they remain." Amelia declared, utterly appalled.

Rejected. The word echoed in Y/N's head. No one knew that feeling quite like her, especially not the Lords. Who could ever reject them...

Abruptly, Y/N jumped to her feet with an incredulous smirk; an idea rushing to the forefront of her mind.

"Pray tell, what is that look for?" Amelia queried.

"I believe the Lords just need a dose of their own medicine." She sang snidely. 

Amelia raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

"What lady in all of the Ton has ever rejected them? Every girl and mama swoons at their feet; that's why they feel they can judge and dismiss anyone they want, regardless of how perfect a match the lady might be," Y/N stated. "So... what if that is turned on them?"

"How?" Amelia leaned back against the tree, studying her friend.

"Tonight's ball. It is a masquerade. Those two have never spoken to me, not once in all of the two years I've been out. Yet somehow, they've already declared I'm not worthy to be their wife just from mere appearances alone. Well, what if they aren't worthy enough to be my husband?" Y/N's eyes were wild, a mischievous glint sparkling within.

She gasped, "You're going to reject them?"

"I shall make them plead for my hand in marriage, only to desert them after all." She boasted.

"Do you think you can do that?" Amelia cocked her head to the side.

Y/N rolled her eyes, "I plan to beat them at their own game. I am sure they won’t know what to do with themselves when a woman is actually disinterested in them. Plus, anything else my charm and wit can make up for… hopefully."

"Are you sure your skills are up to the challenge? This could possibly ruin you if done incorrectly. A man won't take his pride being scorned." Amelia worried, holding Y/N's hand briefly. 

She gave Amelia's hand a gentle squeeze, "I have been watching for two seasons what works and what doesn't. I've always been too frightened to be myself, to be vulnerable. But I have nothing to lose tonight. I am not interested in them, and they do not even see me as a potential match. I have to do this, for my pride alone." 

Y/N strutted away, nodding to her maid to follow her. She stopped for a moment, turning back to Amelia. "After tonight, no more Miss Wallflower." 

~~~~

Luckily for Y/N, being friendly with the modiste had its perks. For one, she was able to have some alterations done to her gown long before the ball. She was used to wearing more muted colors; colors that faded her into the background of any dance. But now, staring in the looking glass at herself, her rose colored gown almost sparkled in the candlelight.

She knew this would be one of the more flashier gowns, even for a masquerade. Lady Gillingham's balls were always known as being a bit uptight; the masquerade was the only one where going against her rules was allowed. But most in the Ton dared to not break them even so.

Y/N felt a rush of nerves hit her. Would this be enough to cause the Lords to notice her? She hoped. If not, her whole plan would be foiled.

The carriage ride to the Gillingham estate felt like an eternity. Y/N fanned herself repeatedly; the cool night air doing nothing for her warm skin.

Amelia and Y/N wrote to one another to meet at the Gillingham lineage painting that adorned the entrance. Both ladies concurred that the face of Viscount Gillingham in the painting always looked like he was cocked eyed; something they both had jested about their first time out in society. They knew that was their spot to meet if they needed to step away from it all. But tonight, because of their masks, they wanted to be able to find a familiar face in the crowd if anything was to go awry.

Y/N pulled her cloak tightly to her bodice, making sure her dress was covered. She gazed around the foyer of the estate, the grand ceilings always making her feel so small. She could hear the ball had commenced, a fanciful melody being played by the orchestra echoed down the halls. She waited under the painting, glancing at all of the attendees coming through the doors. Which one would be Amelia and her Viscount?

Rounding the stairs, a golden dress shone in the corner of Y/N's vision. She turned, making note of the matching locks of hair.

Along with their meeting spot, Y/N and Amelia devised a query only they knew. Y/N studied the woman, finally speaking. "Excuse me, have you ever read Emma? It is one of my favorite novels."

"There is nothing like staying home, for real comfort." Amelia quoted, relief hitting her at the sound of her friend's voice.

Y/N sighed, "Oh thank Heavens it's you Amelia. I thought you might already be in the ballroom."

Amelia shook her head, "I informed you I would wait until your arrival to enter the ball."

Y/N gazed over Amelia's shoulder, looking for someone. "Where is your Viscount?"

She smiled, "He had affairs to tend to, and said he wouldn't be able to make it tonight. So I'm all yours."

"You don't have to stay with me all night. Just until my plan works on the Lords." The girls locked their arms with one another, slowly walking towards the ballroom.

"They've already arrived. I saw them come in moments before you." Amelia whispered low.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, "Well, let's make our grand entrance then."

As the ladies walked into the ballroom, Y/N noted that they were the last two to enter. She held her breath, staring over the railing of the beautiful marble stairs. She could feel all eyes turn to her and Amelia. Amelia trotted down the stairs, her gloved fingers holding the banister gently. Y/N waited until she was at the bottom, and began her descent. 

Now was the time to woo over the men of the Ton, she thought. She untied her cloak, letting it fall off her shoulders; leaving it on the stairs. Light gasps fell from around the room. She knew her alterations would cause a stir, but gasps? She was taken aback by such sounds.

Not only did she go gloveless to this event, but her slightly lowered neckline showed off her most precious of jewels in more ways than one. The modiste spoke of how most of the Ton was not breaking Gillingham's rules, disregarding the whole point of a masquerade. Y/N knew this was her time to shine. To become a rule breaker.

Lord Golbach and Lord Brock were rule breakers themselves. And even more so, heartbreakers. They were aware of this too. Samuel and Cole gave each other a quick glance, noting the breathtaking beauty dressed in rose coming down the stairs.

Eligible gentlemen from around the room scurried over to Amelia and Y/N, doing their best to introduce themselves quickly. Cole smoothed out his suit jacket, parted his way through the crowd and reached Y/N in no time.

Y/N was taken aback by all the men surrounding her, never having this much attention before. As she glanced up, her eyes immediately made contact with a pair of striking blue ones. The pleasing smile, the chestnut hair, the almost devilish gaze.... she knew it could only be one man.

"Miss Rose, lovely to make your acquaintance." Cole bowed, speaking over all of the men pining for her.

She scrunched her face, confused. "Do you believe that to be my name?"

He blinked, "No. I'm simply calling you that because of your gown."

"Oh..." Y/N cleared her throat awkwardly, returning to a more disinterested persona. "How clever."

"May I accompany you to the floor?" He asked, his voice as smooth as silk.

A man in the small crowd let out a scoff, "Good sir, I do believe I was-"

"I think I can speak for myself, your grace." She turned back to Cole, a playful smile on her lips, "I'm afraid you aren't the first to ask. But if you care to wait, I'll gladly dance with you second."

Lord Brock was surprised, but he chalked up this misunderstanding to her not knowing who he was. No one ever denied Cole a dance. Even those with cards completely filled out. He bowed graciously, moving out of the way so she could be guided onto the dancefloor by the other gentleman.

By his short stature, Cole could tell it was Viscount Davis. While he did have a lot of money, he was a tiresome presence to be around. And surely, Miss Rose would soon find that out herself.

And Y/N did, in record time. Being eye-level with a gentleman was not exactly something she was used to, but all it did was make her very aware of his eyes stealing glances at her bosom. The song ended rather quickly, the Heavens listening to her pleas. Before she could even curtsy at the gentleman, Cole was already next to her, waiting to join her in the next dance. She almost laughed at how eager he was; how easily her plan was playing out. They bowed to one another, and the music slowly began. His expert hands slid into hers, warm and welcoming. His close proximity made her aware suddenly just how handsome he really was. She could understand, for a moment, why so many ladies fawned over him. And her heart skipped a beat.

"Would you be alright with me breaking the rules this evening?" Cole chimed in suddenly.

Y/N cocked her head, "That depends on what you intend to break."

"I would like to tell you my name, and perhaps you will tell me yours?" He wagered. 

"Perhaps..." She trailed off, detached.

"I'm Lord Brock. And if you glance over your shoulder now, the man by the refreshments table is Lord Samuel Golbach." He motioned with his head behind her.

Y/N did peak, noting the eyes of Samuel following her and Cole around the room. "Hmm. Interesting."

"May you wish to tell me yours now?" Cole smiled.

"No, I do not." Y/N shook her head plainly.

"I am surprised. But maybe I shouldn't be," Cole spun her, pulling her back into him. "It appears that you resemble me in many respects."

"And what respects are those?" She questioned.

"If I may presume, you seem inclined to forge your own path. You do not heed merely because it was asked of you." He remarked honestly.

Y/N felt her heart skip again, damning her feelings internally as she kept up her charade. "And you have been able to deduce all of this from the mere twenty minutes I've been in this ballroom?"

Cole smirked confidently, "What can I say? I possess the ability to read others well, particularly charming young ladies."

She held back the urge to roll her eyes at his response. While she wanted to beat him at his own game, she didn't want to be rude. "And how well has that worked out for you, my Lord? Since apparently you and Samuel can't seem to find a match."

Hearing Sam's name fall from her lips was shocking, but that alone made him like her more. She was feisty, and he enjoyed that quality in a woman. "Having standards set high has caused some issues, yes. But maybe I will find the one tonight."

"Have you already encountered someone that has peaked your interest?" She inquired. 

"I would say so. It shouldn't come as a shock since you're the only one I've danced with tonight. And the only one I plan to." He brought his face closer to hers, flashing a charming smile.

"How delightful," Y/N mimicked his look. "I cannot say I feel the same, unfortunately."

His face dropped instantly, "I beg your pardon?"

Y/N wanted to relish in this moment for forever, but the music was slowly coming to an end. "Oh, my apologies, my Lord. I thought we were speaking candidly." 

"You... you don't enjoy my company?" Cole stammered. Stammered.

"Well, you are an accomplished dancer and pleasing to the eye and yet... I am unable to see you worthy as a potential suitor." She curtsied dramatically as their dance finished, her mischievous eyes sparkling from the flames of the candles. "My deepest gratitude, my Lord, for being my second dance. If you'll excuse me, I must go see my other suitors, however."

Y/N turned away, swaying her hips sensually as she walked over to Amelia. Her skin felt like it was on fire from where Cole had been touching her. Even though she hated admitting it, something about Cole was mesmerizing. Intoxicating, even. If she hadn't heard what he said this afternoon, she could see a world in which she would fall for him.

But she couldn't focus on that now. She couldn't believe she had actually done it. She successfully rejected one of the Lords.

Amelia gaped, staring at Y/N. "I'm in awe of you, truly. You are a goddess amongst men."

"I feel like I'm going to faint." Y/N grabbed Amelia's arm, keeping her back turned towards the dancefloor. 

"Really?" Amelia pushed her glass to Y/N, who nodded a 'thank you'.

"Sort of." Y/N downed her lemonade, the refreshing citrus drink calming her nerves only slightly. "Is he still looking over here?"

"If by 'looking' you mean casting daggers, then indeed, that is the case. And," she giggled nervously, "try not to faint when I tell you this, but Lord Golbach is making his approach."

Y/N swallowed hard. "You jest."

Amelia gave a weary smile, "No, but I must make my getaway."

She backed away quickly from Y/N, who called out, "Wait, Ame-!"

"Miss Rose, how wonderful to finally meet." Samuel interjected suddenly.

Y/N took a deep breath, spinning on her heel to face him. "Lord Golbach."

He raised a brow at her, "You know who I am."

"How could I mistake a face like yours for any other?" She replied with a sneer tone.

Sam sucked his teeth, her biting tongue captivating him immensely. Ladies hardly ever truly said how they were feeling around him, and it was refreshing to hear such honesty. "I would entertain that notion if Cole had not informed me of disclosing my identity to you."

Her smile dropped, "I would still be able to pick you out in any crowd, my Lord. I would just have to look for the trail of broken hearts and I would instantly find the two of you."

"My reputation makes me sound harsh." He deadpanned.

She held back the urge to roll her eyes, "I think you and Cole are, in fact, harsh. Reputation or not."

A playful grin rose on Sam's face as he reached out his hand towards Y/N. "Dance with me, Miss Rose."

"And if I say no?" She responded defiantly. 

"I will leave you be," he answered. "But what fun you will miss, declining a dance from a gentleman whom you have already passed judgment upon."

She was surprised by Sam's charisma, his almost flirty nature. She politely took his hand, allowing him to guide her onto the dancefloor. Bowing, she steadied herself.. She was not used to this attention, especially from such desirable gentlemen. She knew deep down she shouldn't like teasing the Lords, but part of her enjoyed knowing they found her coveted.

He gazed down at her, inspecting her. "Your gown is quite suitable. You must come from a high ranking family."

"Thank you," she replied plainly. "And yes, some would say that. It helps that I am acquainted with the modiste in town, as well."

"Really? Not many are like you in that way. I've always found it odd how the higher ranking families in the Ton look down upon the working class." Sam admitted.

Y/N nodded, "Truly. It is such a pity. They are no different than us, the only major thing is that we were born into wealth."

"We are all human, after all." He concurred.

"Respecting our fellow man and cherishing the relationships we have and can make should be number one priority. It's a shame how many in the Ton don't see that." She remarked.

Samuel raised his eyebrows, spinning the young lady in time with the music. "You are one of the only women to think so. Many I have courted never spoke of such qualities."

She could feel her skin grow warmer with annoyance, "Interestingly, my beliefs stem from other women I've had the pleasure of knowing. How often do you ask any? Or do you merely go off of appearances and assumptions alone?"

His face dropped, a bitter smile resting on his mouth. "You and I must be similar in that regard."

"Possibly, yes. However, you are the one with a reputation of casting aside women you don't deem fit enough to be courted." Y/N argued, glaring.

He scoffed, "My apologies for having-"

She interjected, "High standards. Yes, I know."

The dance slowly began to end, her grip falling limp in Sam's hold. An anger unlike Y/N had ever felt was bubbling inside of her. Her grace and dignity almost flying out the window when she looked up at Sam, who seemed perplexed by her words. "I thank you for proving my assertions correct."

"And what exactly where they?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Your character is sorely lacking, and I will never want to court or be married to a man like that." Y/N spun on her heel, pure fire filling her veins. She ought to not have become so agitated, but she was unable to restrain herself. While both men played innocent and kind to her face, she knew of how mean they spoke of her mere hours ago. The sole reason they were like this was because of their ignorance of her identity. She had been taught her whole life to be respectful, to both men and women, no matter what ranking they were. And to see such blatant disrespect come from such a high caliber of men in the Ton infuriated her to no end.

This is who was supposed to be the aspiring husbands in the marriage mart? Being a spinster did not sound too bad after all.

Y/N wanted to find Amelia, but decided against staying in the ballroom. She ventured off to the entrance, standing at the portrait. She paced for a moment, trying to calm her nerves. She heard footsteps coming from the ballroom, expecting Amelia to be following her. But two men walked through, Samuel and Cole.

Her eyes widened as she watched them search for her. She rushed up the stairs, finding the closest room and hiding inside of it. It was a study, most likely Viscount Gillingham's. She closed the door swiftly, praying they hadn't seen her do so. She scanned the room, her eyes landing on the window. Fresh air sounded absolutely wonderful to her. She walked over to the window, attempting to open it.

The door swung open, Sam and Cole staring at her quizzically. "What do you plan to do? Shimmy down the garden wall?"

She huffed, turning to the gentlemen. "Do you take pride in stalking ladies or is that just an extracurricular for you both?"

"You have a surprisingly mean spirit for a lady. You must have suitors lining the street waiting for your hand." Cole sassed, stepping into the room.

"Well, as long as you both aren't in line, I shall have decent prospects." Y/N sniveled.

Samuel ranted, "Pray, what precisely is your objection to us? You do not resemble any woman we've previously courted. Why do you harbor resentment?"

"I do not have to have been courted by you to dislike you, Lord Golbach. Perhaps I find your inability to care for a woman's heart atrocious and that alone sparked my malicious feelings." She rebutted, her hands firmly on her hips.

"Did we hurt a sister of yours? Perhaps a friend." Cole responded, almost in jest.

She shook her head heatedly. "No. No. As humorously as that would be, you hurt mine without ever courting me. So congratulations are in order for that feat."

Both of the gentlemen's faces dropped, annoyed. "How?"

"I overheard you, today, at the park. Along with your friend Beaumont. You all had such a delightful time picking apart different women, none of which measured up to your standards for one reason or another." She spat.

Cole shook his head, almost trying to reset his vision. "A-And what is wrong with having standards?"

"There is nothing wrong with that," Y/N grunted. "The problem lies in how you go about finding those standards. Let's not play foolish here: you both know how sought after you are. And you also know that you most likely won't be finding a match anytime soon. So why be out in society?"

Sam’s eyes rolled for a moment. "Are we not permitted to partake in revelry?"

"You can, but not at the expense of women's hearts or reputations!" Her voice boomed off the walls of the study. The room fell silent, the men watching her with wide eyes. 

She continued passionately. "Do you know how completely ignorant it is to badmouth a woman to one of your fellow gentlemen? It is already hard enough as a lady to find a suitable husband when you have every other lady fighting for said affections. But to have fellow men berate and downgrade you as if you are a second-prized poodle is humiliating. Because if you two think that way about me, how else do the other men of the Ton feel? How am I supposed to navigate a labyrinth I had no realization I was in?"

Both men were stunned into silence, but finally Cole spoke. "We should be wiser with our words, yes. But it's not exactly easy for us, either."

"Oh please." She murmured, exhausted.

He moved towards her, shaking his head. "We are told to act a certain way, to be men. The rakish behavior we have to put on is all but a front. At least for him and I. It is exhausting wanting to be open and vulnerable and honest when no one reciprocates those feelings back. So it's easier to put up walls and guard yourself and pretend to be something you're not. But in the end it all hurts the same."

"But you're a man. And not just any one, a prominent one. You could..." Y/N exhaled. "Change what is expected."

"It is not that simple. And it's already a lonely road for those that do not follow what is to be asked of you." Cole paused, swallowing. "I often wonder if a love match is something I will ever find, or if I'm doomed to face a marriage with a woman that is a complete stranger to me for the rest of my days."

She frowned, "Find someone to love, then."

Cole bit his lip harshly, holding back his hurt, "I wish I could. I wish my family would allow that. There are certain expectations I've been destined to meet since birth that I wish I could shake. But it's not as simple as it sounds."

Y/N looked towards Sam, "And what about you?"

"I... I don't know how to express myself. At all," he muttered, stoic and awkward. "This life of mine is not even remotely fulfilling. And I am afraid I am wasting it being someone I never wished to be."

For a moment, Y/N's heart ached for both gentlemen. She stared at them, and they were no longer men, but boys. And for the first time in years, when she expressed exactly how she felt without fear of rejection, she felt like a girl again. The brutal honesty of being a child with no expectations placed.

"I apologize for being so… careless." Her demeanor softened,  "Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed so harshly.." 

"No. Your honesty is refreshing. I don't think anyone has called us out in years." Samuel commented.

Cole smirked, "Or ever, really."

She giggled, and genuinely smiled, for the first time all night. They smiled back, their grins earnest. 

"You have the sweetest of laughs. Almost like honey." Samuel complimented.

She bowed her head, doing her best to hide her blush. "T-That is very kind of you to say, my Lord."

Cole chimed in, the men sharing a look. "May I ask you a question, Miss Rose?"

Y/N nodded, watching them as they drew closer to her.

"Would it be alright if I call upon you tomorrow?" He asked.

Samuel added, "I too, would wish to do that, as well."

Her eyes widened, "I beg your pardon?"

"You are merely unlike any lady I have ever encountered. Unlike any we have met before. And I am certain that both of us would cherish the opportunity to become better acquainted with you." Cole explained genuinely.

"Even after I've insulted you to your face?" She sassed.

"Even more so, yes." Samuel's eyes glimmered mischievously.

Y/N questioned, "Are you sure that would be wise?"

"I would say it's about as wise as you being in a room, alone, with the two of us. Unchaperoned." Cole's voice deepened, causing Y/N's eyes to flutter.

Y/N suddenly became very aware of how close the Lords were to her. Her lips parted, wanting to gasp, but she was rendered speechless. She glanced between the two of them, watching as the space between them and her came to an almost close. Her back was up against the window sill, and she could feel the heat of Sam and Cole's bodies rolling off onto hers.

She closed her eyes tightly, savoring the moment. This was her first time truly feeling stirred by the presence of a man. Multiple men.

"But you are gentlemen." She choked out.

His eyes darkened. "Of course. We would never do anything untoward an honorable young lady, like yourself."

"All you have to do is say so, and we'll stop." Sam uttered huskily. 

Cole spun Y/N to face him, her mouth falling open in surprise. He stared at her devilishly, his eyes taking in every part of her slowly. A breath blew across the back of Y/N's neck, startling her. She glanced over her shoulder through hooded eyes to see Sam, closing the space between her and him. His mouth danced up her neck, stopping right under her ear.

"Do you want us to stop?" Cole whispered softly.

Y/N shuddered a breath, his hands cupping her waist as he stepped closer to her. His mouth was on the other side of her neck, peppering light kisses up and down her throat. Y/N closed her eyes, her chest heaving as her breath fought to catch up. Y/N had had one kiss before in her entire life, right before coming out into society. And she had heard whispers of what... intimacy, between a man and woman was like.

But this was a whole new world for her.

Heat pooled low in her stomach as the men traced their lips over her skin, breathing her in. Sam's hands rested lightly on her lower back, tracing up and down her corset lining. Cole's hands rubbed up and down her bare arms, goosebumps rising in their wake.

Their bodies were firm up against hers. It was almost like a waltz the way the Lords' movements guided her. She was entranced by it all, following their every direction. Then, suddenly it hit her.

She won. And not only did she win, but the clock was very close to midnight. And it was time to leave.

Y/N took a deep breath, something she felt she hadn't done in ages, and slithered her way out from between each man.

"Well, gentlemen, this has been a lovely evening. But I must be getting home." Y/N stated calmly.

Both men were stunned into silence, again, by her. "Wh... What?"

"Did I say something surprising?" She gazed innocently at them, then headed towards the door.

Samuel and Cole stared at her in awe, an almost amused smile resting on their lips. She truly was incomparable.

As she opened the door to the study, Samuel called out, "You must tell us who you are, at the very least."

She paused, her hand resting on the handle. She had considered making her getaway, not letting them know who she was. But part of her wondered what their faces would look like once they knew it was her, Y/N, that left them this way. Hot and bothered.

She untied her mask slowly, holding it delicately in her hands. She turned back to the Lords, gazing at them both.

"Goodnight, Lord Golbach and Lord Brock. I hope you have a splendid evening." She bowed, and rushed out, taking the stairs quickly.

Sam and Cole stood in silence for a while, reliving the moments they had just shared with Y/N. Neither one could wrap their minds about what took place, or that it was Y/N - of all people - that had caused these feelings to occur. Feelings that both men had not experienced in a very long time, if ever.

Sam stuck his hand out to Cole, raising an eyebrow at him. "May the best man win."

Cole smirked, grasping his friend's hand tightly. "Indeed."

The gentlemen knew only one of them would win Y/N's heart. And now it was time to see who could ever conquer such a feat.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

A fairy's true name

Earlier I wrote about how much trouble I had finding even one example of a fairy trying to learn a human’s name to use it against them, but folktales where it is the other way round do exist!

Until recently the best example I had for this “use a fairy’s true name against them” plot, was Rumpelstiltskin (and all its variants, for there are many). But technically the Rumpelstiltskin plot itself is not enough to claim that knowing a fairy’s true name gives you power over them. After all, a specific deal was struck between the fairy (or dwarf, or imp, etc.) and the human, with the finding out of the name releasing the human from their debt to the fairy. (Best examples including a fairy: Peerie Fool, Tríopla Trúpla, Titty Tod).

But it turns out that the tale type “The name of the helper ATU 500” contains stories in which I would argue it is made clear that knowing a fairy’s name holds power:

In these stories a the supernatural creature in question is a helpful house spirit or neighbour to the human, but immediately leave them forever as soon as they (sometimes through trickery) find out their name, after they refused to tell them:

Hoppetînken, a mountain dwarf (German, Kuhn, 1859)

Gwarwyn-a-throt, a spirit/elf/bogie (Welsh, Rhys, 1901)

Silly go Dwt, a fairy (Welsh, Rhys, 1901)

And these stories contain what I would call “strong circumstantial evidence”:

In Winterkölbl (German Hungarian, Vernaleken, 1896) a grey dwarf who lives in a tree makes a young king guess his name before he will (somewhat reluctantly) consent to let him marry his human foster daughter (she was abandoned, he did not steal her!).

In The Rival Kempers (Irish, Yeats, 1892) an old fairy woman sets a young woman the task of guessing her name, but then gives it to her freely (with some extra help to win her good fortune), because she was polite and generous to her.

Conversely, in The Lazy Beauty and her Aunts (Irish, Kennedy, 1870) the three fairy women who help the protagonist with her spinning, weaving and sewing, actually introduce themselves by name, but they are clearly nicknames: Colliagh Cushmōr (Old Woman Big Foot), Colliach Cromanmōr (Old Woman Big Hips), Colliach Shron Mor Rua (Old Woman Big Red Nose).

But my two favourite examples are Whuppity Stoorie (Scottish, Chambers, 1858; reprinted by Rhys, 1901) and The heir of Ystrad (Welsh, Rhys, 1888, reprinted in 1901). I'll summarise them below the cut:

Whuppity Stoorie (Scottish, Chambers, 1858; quotes from Rhys, 1901)

A woman is left by her husband. She has a baby boy to feed and her only hope is that her sow will have a big litter of piglets. However the sow gets ill and as the woman weeps with the fear that the pig will die, she sees an old woman coming up the road. “She was dressed in green, all but a short white apron and a black velvet hood, and a steeple-crowned beaver hat on her head. She had a long walking staff, as long as herself, in her hand --” This “green gentlewoman” tells her that she knows the woman’s husband is gone and that the sow is sick and asks what she’ll give her if she cures the pig. The woman heedlessly promises her anything she likes. So the green woman cures the pig with a spell and some oil and then reveals that she wants to have the woman’s baby in return, thereby revealing to the poor woman that she is a fairy. The fairy is unmoved by the woman’s sorrow, but does reveal that: “I cannot, by the law we live under, take your bairn till the third day; and not then, if you can tell me my right name.” Luckily the woman overhears the fairy woman singing her own name and gets to keep her child by addressing her as such, after which: “If a flash of gunpowder had come out of the ground it couldn't have made the fairy leap higher than she did. Then down she came again plump on her shoe-heels; and whirling round, she ran down the brae, screeching for rage, like an owl chased by the witches.”

The heir of Ystrad

A young gentleman hides in the bushes to see “the fair family” dance on the river bank. There he sees the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and wants more than anything to win her for his own. He jumps in the middle of the circle of fairies and grabs her by force, while all the others flee. He is kind to her, but keeps her captive, and eventually she agrees to become his servant. She steadfastly refuses to tell him her name though, no matter how often he asks. One night he once again hides near where the fairies play and he hears one fairy lament to another that last time they were there, their sister Penelope (Pénĕlôp) was stolen by a man. He returns home joyfully, calling is favourite maid by her name, which greatly astonishes her. The young man finds her so beautiful, industrious, skilled and fortunate, that he wishes to marry her. “At first she would in no wise consent, but she rather gave way to grief at his having found her name out. However, his importunity at length brought her to consent, but on the condition that he should not strike her with iron; if that should happen, she would quit him never to return.” They marry and they lived “in happiness and comfort”. She bears him a beautiful son and a daughter and through her skill and fairy fortune they grow richer and richer. But one day while trying to bridle an unruly horse the husband accidentally hits his wife with the iron bridle. As soon as the iron touches her, she vanishes. But one cold night she comes to his bedroom window one more time, telling him that if ever her son should be cold, he should be placed on his father’s coat, and that if her daughter should be cold, she should be placed on her petticoat. Then she disappears forever.

I adore both of these stories. Whuppity Stoorie is probably the clearest example of the power of a fairy's name. But The heir of Ystrad is as good a fairy bride story as The Shepherd of Myddvai and that has been a beloved favourite of mine for as long as I can remember. Either way they're both wonderful takes on the power it grants to know a fairy's name.

[tongue-like-a-razor]

Less Talk | Part VII

Jake Seresin x F!Reader

Summary: Jake can't stand Bradley's best friend. What's more, he's probably in love with her, which really pisses him off.

CW: Swearing, suggestive language, excessive banter & fluff

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Masterlist

Jake walks out onto the porch, closing the door behind him. You’re sitting on the top step with your elbows resting on your knees and your chin in your hands.

“You look happy,” Jake comments, taking a seat beside you.

You glance over at him jadedly. “I’ve had a day,” you respond.

Jake gives you a pointed look. “You don’t say,” he notes sarcastically. He had gathered as much when you fled the living room after snapping at Bradley for trying to interrogate you once more.

You roll your eyes, but your mouth moves into a slight grin. “Shut up, Seresin.”

Jake leans sideways to nudge you gently on the shoulder. “Wanna get out of here?”

You furrow your eyebrows. “This is your party.”

Jake waves a hand. “It’s Bradley’s party.”

You eye him skeptically. “Right,” you say, seemingly unconvinced. “What’s he celebrating again?”

Jake endeavors to keep a straight face while meeting your gaze. “How should I know?” he asks.

You half-scoff, half-laugh in response and this makes Jake bizarrely happy. It’s stupid how giddy getting you to smile makes him feel.

He watches you steadily, wondering how many times you’ve caught him staring at you when even he hadn’t realized it. “Seriously,” he says. “What’s stopping us from just taking off?”

You glance at him with a somewhat bewildered expression. “Where would we even go?” you ask.

Jake shrugs. “Wherever you want to go.”

You narrow your eyes distrustfully. “You’re doing it again,” you say.

Jake grimaces. “What?”

“Being nice.”

“It’s strange that you find kindness suspicious,” he responds. “It’s kind of a red flag.”

You let out a soft laugh. “In my defense, I don’t ever expect it out of you.”

Jake nods, not entirely surprised at your response. Nonetheless, he exhales wearily and turns to face forward.

He feels your shoulder as you nudge him back. “Well, don’t sulk about it, you big baby,” you say playfully. “Is it my fault you’re usually an asshole?”

Jake stares at the porch steps before him stiffly, having barely registered your insult. You’re still leaning into him and, as a result, his entire body is in a state of acute arousal. Thoughts of reaching over and sinking his hand into your thigh to pull you in and wrap your leg around his torso are trampling his original intentions of carrying on a respectable conversation. “Did you just call me baby?” he mutters absently.

“Umm.” There’s an awkward pause after this articulation during which you straighten your back, thereby releasing Jake from the stupor caused by your innocent – yet noticeably prolonged – nudge.

Jake turns to look at you, still mildly dazed. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I missed that last part.”

You blink at him mutely, then tear your gaze away and rise to your feet. “I said, you’re an asshole,” you say causally.

Jake creases his eyebrows, glancing after you as you skip down the steps. “I might’ve missed a little more than just the last part, then,” he mumbles, mostly to himself. Then he gets up. “You know who’s an asshole?” he says, confidence gaining in his voice. “Mustang.”

You roll your eyes. “You don’t even know him.”

Jake cocks his head inquisitively, wondering if your ex might have something to do with your elusive behavior. “I know enough,” he says, hoping to provoke you into conversation.

You kick at the overgrown yard. “You should cut your grass,” you say moodily, clearly attempting to change the subject.

Jake sighs, disappointed that you didn’t take the bait. “It’s No Mow May,” Jake says half-heartedly, surprised that you aren’t familiar with the trend considering your aggressive views on environmental preservation.

You give him a disgusted look. “Don’t tell me you buy that crap.”

Jake gawks at you. “I’m saving the bees!”

You lift an eyebrow judgementally. “For a month?”

“Look at all my dandelions!”

You shake your head disapprovingly. “All you’re doing is delaying the inevitable. Your weeds are already outgrowing your grass and you’re going to end up needing pesticides before the summer is through, thus negating your supposed act of good will.”

“It’s about spreading awareness, genius,” Jake bites back.

“It’s about a lack of awareness, actually.”

Jake sighs audibly, rolling his head back to glance upward in frustration. He puts his hands on his hips before looking back down at you. “Must you always be so goddamn pessimistic?”

You scoff indignantly. “And what happens when you mow your lawn in June? You destroy the food source of all your precious pollinators. Maybe chop up some unsuspecting field mice or bunnies that have taken up shelter in your luscious yard.”

Jake’s jaw drops in horror. “Stop talking,” he says with a cringe.

“Well, don’t be an idiot and cut your damn grass, Seresin.”

“It was Bradshaw’s idea,” Jake retorts. Now that he’s learned your opinion, he no longer needs to take credit for the so-called eco-friendly practice of propagating weeds.

You eye the unkempt grass skeptically, apparently not sold on the notion that Bradley Bradshaw should be on the receiving end of your criticism. But just when you open your mouth to voice your displeasure on the matter, Jake lets out a resolute breath, takes a swift step toward you, and plants his lips right on top of yours.

It takes a moment for him to even realize what he’s doing, let alone recognize that you aren’t pulling away or shrieking in alarm or punching the living daylights out of him. On the contrary, you’re completely still, frozen in place; possibly traumatized.

And Jake, well, Jake is just as shocked as you are, if not more. And, as a result, just as immobile. Never in all his years has Jake Seresin underperformed so tremendously. Never has he delivered such an inadequate kiss. A kiss? Could he even call it that? He ponders as his lips remain glued motionless on top of yours.

And then, you shift ever so slightly forward. And this gesture, this cue – because that is how Jake decides to interpret your movement which could just as easily be attributed to uncomfortable footwear – gives him a much-needed confidence boost. He places his hands firmly on your hips, clutching you with purpose, with conviction.

In response, you slide further into him, forcing him to wrap his arms all the way around your waist. And you open your mouth, letting him slip his tongue inside while your lips brush softly over his. And, when he feels your hands rest tentatively on his abdomen, he nearly loses his balance, paralyzed all over again.

He takes your hand – the one creeping up his chest – easing the tension in your curled-up fist as his kiss draws you closer and closer. He is so consumed by the feel of your body in his arms, so stunned that you’re actually allowing him to hold you, that your earlier argument about – birds, was it? – has thoroughly been swept from his mind. And your previously puzzling behavior is but a distant memory.

Until, that is, the front door creaks open and the two of you abruptly disperse, and you have the audacity to welcome the intrusion with a wide, guilt-ridden smile. “Bradley!” you exclaim. “We were just commending your decision to participate in No Mow May!”

Jake turns to look at you in awe.

Bradley appears skeptical. “You were?”

Jake watches you sourly before turning to his roommate. “She was going on and on about it,” he confirms.

Bradley glances between the two of you suspiciously. “So, you guys are just out here admiring the lawn?”

Jake purses his lips. “More or less,” he responds.

Bradley nods slowly. “Yeah, I think it was a good decision,” he says finally.

Jake watches you take in a controlled breath and grins. “Definitely,” he says. “If nothing else, it serves as excellent fodder for conversation.”

“Not that the two of you ever lack fodder,” Bradley notes sarcastically.

“Speaking of fodder,” you say, placing a hand over your stomach. “I’m hungry.” You start for the door, but Jake intervenes before you even reach the porch.

“But,” he says, “our…the…” He sighs. “Don’t you think we should finish our conversation?”

Bradley steps aside to let you pass and turns to Jake. “I didn’t realize you were this enthusiastic about biodiversity.”

Jake gives Bradley a flat look. “Who isn’t?”

Bradley nods appreciatively. “Want to talk to me about it?” he asks.

Jake narrows his eyes at him as though he can’t believe that his friend isn’t catching on yet. “Not really.” Then he hops up onto the porch after you. “You’re going inside?” he asks, catching up to you. You glance up at him and he meets your gaze in a bit of a panic. “It was quite a riveting discussion we were having that Rooster so rudely interrupted,” he says, giving Bradley another pointed look before turning back to you. “Don’t you have anything to add?”

Bradley rolls his eyes and folds his arms across his chest. “Do you really have that much more to say on the topic of grass, Hangman?”

Jake makes a face at him. “Bradshaw, don’t you have a party to host?”

You let out a quiet chuckle and Jake reverts his attention to you. You grace him with a tight smile and say, “We can chat later, Seresin.”

Jake stares at you dizzily, trying to determine whether the two of you are on the same page, metaphorically speaking. When your eyes linger suggestively on his, he dares to return your smile. “Looking forward to it,” he responds cheekily.

Then, Bradley, who, by this point, has also made it back up onto the porch, clears his throat. “Actually, while we’re on the topic of local ecosystems” – he says, but Jake interrupts him before he can finish.

“Good god, are you still here?”

Bradley stops talking and blinks between you and Jake. “Did I interrupt something?” he says.

“No,” you reply.

At the same time, Jake says, “Yes.” You give him a sharp look and he adds, “An argument.”

“Ah.” Bradley nods, apparently completely satisfied with this response.

“And it was very heated,” Jake continues.

You roll your eyes.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I came out when I did,” Bradley says, resting his hands on both yours and Jake’s shoulders. “Before things got physical.”

Jake draws a deep, irritated breath, eyeing you knowingly while you avoid his gaze. “Yeah, we definitely wouldn’t want that,” he says tersely.

…

After finally losing Bradley, who seems hellbent on speaking with you in private, Jake watches you head downstairs with an entire bowl of sliced watermelon. He sets down his beer and proceeds after you, rushing down the steps until he arrives at the bottom together with you.

You look over your shoulder in surprise, and he grins at you broadly.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he says cheerily.

You snort, making your way into the rec room with your bowl.

Jake follows you leisurely, as though he isn’t utterly dying to get his hands on you again. “What’s with the fruit?”

You set the bowl down on a side table and plop down onto the couch. “This is the best watermelon I’ve ever eaten.”

Jake raises his eyebrows, approaching the couch. “Guess who picked out that watermelon.”

You throw him a taunting smile. “It’s ridiculous how proud you are about this.”

Jake scoffs, staring at you in amazement. “You just said it’s the best watermelon you’ve ever had! Of course, I’m proud. You’re a hard woman to please.”

Your smile widens and you lower your gaze in a – if Jake didn’t know any better – bashful manner. “Have you been trying?” you ask, glancing back up at him. “To please me?”

Hearing the words please and me come out of your mouth in direct succession sends a significant amount of his blood south, leaving insufficient quantities for frivolous brain functions such as, for instance, speech, so it takes him a minute to formulate a response. “Extensively,” he finally says, his throat a little dry and his voice a little hoarse.

Despite his frankness, you regard him with an air of suspicion, as though his assertion isn't altogether reliable. When he moves to take a seat on the couch, you say, “Did you know that there’s actually a method of picking a good watermelon?”

Jake smiles as he plants himself on the opposite end of the couch, realizing that he finds your evasive techniques remarkably endearing. He looks up at you with feigned interest and says with a hint of sarcasm, “I bet I’m about to.”

You give him an impassive look. “I don’t have to tell you if you don’t want to know.”

Jake laughs. “Are you telling me that, all this time, I could have just asked you to stop talking?”

You pucker your lips trying to keep a straight face. You pull the bowl off the table and extend your arm. “Want some?”

“Some of the best watermelon you’ve ever had?” he asks facetiously.

You roll your eyes. “Get over it, cowboy.”

Jake chuckles. “I’m good,” he says. You shrug and take a slice out of the bowl for yourself. Meanwhile, Jake is in the mood for something entirely different but not any less sweet.

“Hey, Seresin,” you say, setting the bowl back down and sinking further into the couch, getting cozy. You pull your legs up and sit cross-legged, biting into your watermelon. “I have a sort of weird question for you.”

Jake stretches his arm over the back of the couch, facing you. “That is weird,” he says. “Normally, all you have are answers.”

You make a face at him but continue, “What do you want out of life?”

Jake watches you carefully, wondering if this is yet another attempt to pull his leg.

“I mean” – you wave your hand casually – “disregarding the fact that we are tiny, meaningless specks of matter in an infinite expanse of universe, and our existence is inconceivably fleeting in the grand scheme of things and thus our desires absolutely irrelevant.” You meet his gaze earnestly. “What do you want?”

Jake raises his eyebrows. “Disregarding all of that?” he asks wryly.

You sigh impatiently. “Don’t be a dick.”

“It’s hard.” Jake cringes. “Sorry, bad joke,” he adds. “I’ll stop.”

You shake your head and look away. “Forget it.”

Jake takes advantage of your brief lapse in vigilance to slide a little closer. “Does this weird question have anything to do with that thing you don’t want to talk about?”

Your silence confirms Jake’s theory. His arm is still stretched over the back of the couch only, now that he’s closer, his hand is resting right behind your head. Hesitantly, he lifts it and skims his fingertips up the back of your neck. You look over at him sharply, startling him enough that he nearly jumps.

You study him guardedly, but the intensity of your gaze isn’t the threatening kind. Your teeth graze your bottom lip as your eyes flit down to his mouth. Meanwhile, Jake sits very still, trying to supress any physical manifestations of the pandemonium surging in his gut and setting his insides ablaze.

Finally, you relax your posture and slump into the couch, resting your head back, right into his hand. Jake curls his fingers into your hair and runs his thumb along the curve of your ear, admiring your side profile. After several minutes, you turn your head so that your face rests in his palm and give him a small smile.

Jake debates whether he should kiss you again since you seemed to not mind it so much the first time around. Besides, now that he’s tasted your lips, he can hardly think of anything else. So, before you have a chance to bestow upon him yet another random piece of wisdom, he leans forward and brushes your lips with his.

And he can feel your face lift from his hand as you stretch your neck to kiss him back, and he compensates by sliding his hand down your neck. And you reach outward to grab a chunk of his shirt to pull him in, and he obliges by moving closer. And you gasp softly into his mouth when his other hand finds its way to the side of your face, and Jake lets it linger over your cheek because you seem to like it there.

And the way your tongue rolls gently against his; the way your breaths coincide with his every movement; the way you whisper, “Jake,” like he’s the source of your pleasure has him on the brink of a very precarious precipice.

He cups your face between his hands, breathing out steadily as he tries to control the unrelenting urge to rip the clothes right off of your body. The way you’re panting against his mouth tells him that you may be anticipating a similar scenario.

And maybe he should. Maybe he should just give it to you right here in the middle of the rec room in the musty, old basement. Maybe he should just take you right now in the midst of your mysterious, emotional crisis. Maybe he should just get you out of his system and move on.

Only, he already knows that you’re not that kind of girl. The kind of girl he could just fuck and forget.

Only, he isn’t the kind of guy who could get over a girl like you. Not anymore.

Only, your kiss is interrupted again. This time, however, it's Bob, and he's stumbling down the stairs in search of an unoccupied bathroom in which he could, in his own words, violently hurl and subsequently die and possibly piss, if he remembers to do so.

And, as Jake directs him to the facilities, you wander back upstairs and Jake, who spends a good hour ensuring that Bob doesn't, in fact, die, doesn't see you again until the following morning at Mickey's birthday brunch, to which you arrive in a white fucking mustang.

Read Part 8

Tag List:

The rest of the tag list is in the comments!

@malindacath

@karleetakeenan

@wandering-wah

@callsign-sunshine

@ghost-heart34

@birdy-bat-writes

@matya4

@wkndwlff

@nyx2021

@bellamy1998

@oliviah-25

@alexxavicry

@army24--7

@thefandomimagines

@dracosluvbot

@smit41

@scenesofobx

@Criminalmindsandmarvel

@lunamoonbby

@malums-trash-can

@toothemoonanddback

@broketraveler87

@atarmychick007

@shanimallina87

@army24—7

@creativitybeware 

@xoxabs88xox

@Yoyop7

@hallecarey1

@nik2blog

@rrocky0ah

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@lilianashomaresparza

@latetedslesetoiles

@Elenavampire21

@starberryhorse

@ginger-gabsq

@sarcastic-sourwolf

@risingtripletaurus

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@dempy

@lanie-k

@clancycucumber230

@littlebookbengal

@zbeez-outlet

@the-winter-marvel33

@potato-girl99981

@phantomxoxo

@flashyourgreeneyesatme

@thenewdaysalreadyhere

[ladykailitha]

Batshit Soulmates Part 3

Hey guys! More of this delicious AU.

Steve is suffering under the effects of the truebond. And things get a little dire for Max, too.

In Medias Res| Prologue|Pt 1| Pt 2|

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

Steve got back to his house and immediately stripped down to hop in the shower. He turned the water to as hot as it would go. He needed to drown out his thoughts and hot water would help with that.

He washed and conditioned his hair, allowing the conditioner to do its thing while he did the rest of his routine. Once he was done, he rinsed his hair.

He towel dried his hair, taking the time to squeeze out as much of the water as he could. He stopped himself as he realized what he was doing. He was primping for Eddie. A wanted fugitive who couldn’t care less what Steve’s hair looked like. He tried not primp when he got dressed. But he still managed to put on his nicest polo and tightest jeans, anyway. He did try to de-slut himself by adding the white undershirt.

Which of course made the polo tighter and thereby defeating the purpose. Steve just shrugged. Max was waiting for him and changing now would only waste time he really didn’t have.

****

Eddie was not having a good time. He was hungry and hunted and more than a little haunted. Sleep was fitful at best. He just hoped he wasn’t screaming in his sleep. That would have really brought him unwanted attention.

He tried find ways to entertain himself. Because if seeing Chrissy die like that didn’t make him crazy, being alone with nothing to do was going to drive him the rest of the way there.

He finally resorted to tossing bottle tabs, coins, and other small items into a cup to see how many he could get in.

Eddie was losing.

Suddenly there was the crunch of tires on gravel and he was on his feet in an instant. He grabbed his broken bottle and peeked out the window. He couldn’t see the vehicle that pulled up. Was it the cops? Someone else?

The door to the boathouse burst open and Eddie was sure his heart burst with it.

There standing in the doorway looking more than a little sheepish were his rescuers. Dustin, Robin, Max, and Steve bringing up the rear. Steve gave a little hand wave and he forced himself to breath normally again. He glared at them to know that what they did was a little fucked up.

They explained everything to him as simply as possible. Steve actually was kind and walked him through each new piece of information to make sure he understood.

Afterwards when they were getting ready to leave again, Eddie pulled Robin aside.

“Um...” he said rocking back on his heels, hands on his back, “so you’re running with Steve Harrington now?”

Robin opened her mouth the say something mean, but she knew what he was really asking. “Yeah, monsters and monstrous humans tend to make for great social glue.”

“And he knows...” he said trailing off. “He knows?”

She knew what he was trying desperately not to say. Did Steve know she was gayer than a May pole? She nodded. “Yeah. I know what he was like in high school, but he’s not like that anymore.”

Eddie nodded. “It’s just wild you know.”

“Having King Steve as your soulmate?” she asked tilting her head to the side.

He let out a shuddering breath and pressed his together. He closed his eyes and then opened them slowly. “How do you even deal with that?”

She shrugged. “I wouldn’t know.”

Eddie frowned. “You haven’t found your soulmate yet?” It was just surprising. Yeah, Steve and him hadn’t found each other until their late teens/early twenties. But that was rare.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh no, I know who she is. Pretty sure she knows it’s me, as well, but she has decided that fellow band geek Robin Buckley just isn’t her flavor or such shit.”

His frown deepened. “It’s Vickie Cameron, isn’t it?”

Robin cocked her head to the side. “How did you know that?”

He opened his mouth and closed a couple of times before he said, “Look, the safest place to deal...” he gave her a pointed look warning her to keep her mouth shut.

She mimed zipping it closed.

“Is behind the community center next the swimming pool,” he explained. “I’d deal, use some of the money to cool off in the summer because my trailer ain’t great when it comes to not being as hot as the devil’s tit.”

Robin wrinkled her nose. “Ew.”

“The point is I saw her soulmark,” Eddie growled. “It’s a trumpet. On her shoulder. Right where I’m guessing there’s a clarinet on yours.” He nodded toward her. “What is she, homophobic or some shit?”

She shrugged. “Who the fuck knows. She doesn’t treat me badly and sometimes I even think she’s flirting with me, but she has a boyfriend who’s in college so...”

Eddie winced. “That sucks.”

Robin scoffed. “About as bad as learning your soulmate is your antithesis or whatever in the middle of another apocalypse.”

He could only agree, but they were getting off the topic at hand. “Has Steve said anything to you about being my soulmate?”

She sighed. “Only that it fucking sucked learning about it with a bottle pressed to his throat.”

Eddie sighed, too. “Look, I wouldn’t have done anything. I was scared and alone and jocks hate me. Like I thought Jason has sent him, okay?”

Robin blinked. “Oh because of the basketball thing?”

Eddie nodded.

“I guess that makes sense,” she said. “But he really fell from grace when Billy smashed in his head. He’s just this lovable goof with a heart of gold.”

She paused for a second.

“Like I think he always was.” She patted his shoulder and went to join the others.

Steve told the others to go out to the car and jogged back to Eddie.

“It’s too dangerous to move you right now,” Steve murmured. “But we’ll try to stay on the walkies, okay?”

Eddie nodded. “Just don’t forget I’m here, man.”

Steve gripped Eddie’s arms. “We won’t, but we have to find out what’s going on and we’re going to be spread pretty thin. I wish there was another way to do this.”

Eddie let out a long breath, not quite a sigh. “I’ll try, man. If you guys are right about all this shit, I’m really scared. Plus with the town thinking it was me...”

“We’ll figure it out,” Steve promised.

Eddie nodded again and settled down to wait it all out. At least he had food and drink, which was more than he had before.

****

All this running around looking for clues was shit on Steve’s nerves. He was close to screaming. He had almost taken Lucas’s head off when the kid came tearing around a blind corner at night in the high school they had just broken into.

And Robin was doing that thing she always does when faced with a pretty girl, flirt. Which considering said pretty girl was not only Steve’s ex, but already soulmated? Yeah, Steve was sure his breaking point was going to hit sooner rather than later.

It came when Max started rising in the air like some fucked up messiah. Because he could tell something was wrong he was able to get ahold of Robin and Nancy who told them about the music and Lucas was able to find her favorite song on her Walkman and play it for her, she didn’t get Vecna’ed or whatever the hell it was the kids were calling it.

Once she was safe he sat down on the ground hard and buried his head in his hands. He fought to breathe, barely making it through the gasps of sobs that were torn out of him.

How can they fight something that could take anyone of them at anytime? How is he supposed to protect the people he loves most from an unseen force?

He had to keep it together. For Max because she was the victim here. For Lucas because he almost had to watch his soulmate get ripped from him. For Eddie who was frightened beyond the pale. He had to be the strong one.

And then he felt warm arms around him.

“She’s safe now,” Dustin murmured. “We got to her in time because of you. That was scary as hell, but it would have been worse if you had listened to Lucas and me. A lot worse.”

Steve lifted his head and nodded. “Thanks, bud.”

Dustin helped him stand. “We have to get everyone together.”

Steve nodded. “I just wish there was to include Eddie without telegraphing to the asshats in town where he is.”

Dustin grimaced. “Yeah, but there isn’t.” He looked at Steve a moment. “How are you doing? I don’t think I’ve seen you like this before.”

Steve showed him his soulmark. It was black and angry.

“Why does it look like that?” Dustin nearly screamed.

Lucas and Max came running and they looked down at Steve’s mark, too.

“Shit,” Max hissed. “That’s not good. Why didn’t you tell anyone you and Eddie were true soulmates?”

Lucas and Dustin looked at her in shock.

“A what now?” Lucas asked, looking back and forth at Steve and Max in confusion.

“True mates,” Dustin said slowly in disbelief. “I’ve only read about those. They’re super rare.”

“It means,” Max hissed, “that Steve can’t be separated from his soulmate for long otherwise he gets super sick.”

“But only after they touch each other’s marks,” Dustin finished. “Why did you that? Why did you touch each other’s marks if that was going to happen?”

Steve huffed. “Because Dustin, you don’t know you’re true mates until after you touch.”

“Oh,” Lucas and Dustin said together.

“This is bad, Steve,” Max huffed ignoring the boys. “You have to get back to Eddie.”

Steve shook his head. “I can last a little bit longer. You’re in danger, Max. That’s more important than me.”

“But what about Eddie?” Dustin asked. “Won’t he get sick, too?”

Steve threw back his head and groaned. “I can’t take care of everyone at once. Plus, if I keep going back to the boathouse someone will see and come to check it out. That would do far more harm to Eddie than being a stupid true mate to someone like me.”

Dustin and Lucas glanced at each other and then each held out their hand to Steve. He took each of their hands and allowed the two boys to haul him to his feet.

“How close do you think you have to be to stop it from burning?” Dustin asked Max.

Max shrugged. “My mom and Neil aren’t truemates so I don’t know for sure. But a hell of a lot closer than cemetery to the lake.”

Dustin nodded. “Would Skull Rock be close enough?”

“Or even just driving past the lake might work,” Lucas suggested.

Steve hugged them both. “I’ll visit him tomorrow, we just need to get everyone else together to discuss what happened to Max.”

They all nodded.

****

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Epilogue

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @oxidantdreamboat @mogami13 @samsoble @xandriumbat @ellietheasexylibrarian @lololol-1234 @y4r3luv @disrespectedgoatman

[raayllum]

Anyway notes on the poster

There's a swirly, cosmic feel, with both dark magic purple, star magic purple, as well as actual darkness/blackness that evoke the stars and a general feeling of sadness and chaos. This is per the course for Aaravos' colour associations as well as Claudia's

Her hair seems to be 3/4ths white rather than just 1/2, making me think that after 6x01 there'll be a brief timeskip and she'll have whiter hair from doing some of Aaravos' bidding. Her outfit also seems to be different (most notably the white collar) which makes sense and also invokes Kim'Dael's chain a bit.

Claudia is the only character whose never had a significant wardrobe change (Viren had his in late stage S3) in order to showcase her stagnation and preserve the secret timeskip, so post-6x01 might be her last big chance for a wardrobe change (prosthetic leg and all). Here's hoping!

The fact it looks like she's in an ocean of sorts, hair like tendrils in the water, reflects her walking into the water in both Viren's dreams (5x03) and reality (5x09): "The wave - it will swallow you up!" ("I swallowed her" —Aaravos, 5x09)

Claudia crying (as in S6 she'll be undeniably grieving and isolated) makes sense. I'm more interested in the potential eye symbolism, as eyes are accordingly important for dark magic and was a motif heavily present with Viren. Claudia being unable to 'see clearly' through the eye that metaphorically holds her human (dark haired, non dark magic) side? Yeah.

Furthermore, we also see Aaravos in the murky waters below likewise with an eye motif, a particularly bright star in the sky being a stand in for his eye. Together, perhaps, he and Claudia have 'full sight', and it may indicate that constellation's importance to him / general starry vibes, as we know (child Aaravos?) Leola is closest to Claudia on the star chart map. Pre-S4 I'd thought that star had been the south star, but we know that it and Leola's Last Wish is one and same, so it must be something different

Claudia is on the 'human' side of the star chart (where the 5 human kingdoms are) and thereby with more (but not all of her potential symbols, like the bumblescorp on the other side) of her associative symbols: the unicorn (for obvious reasons, and also tied to Leola) as well as the book three (Claudia almost walked into a tree in 1x01 because she was reading, and Callum mentions the three was planted 300-ish years ago, which would line up with the Orphan Queen's origins).

Listen to me. Listen. Claudia is one half of the star chart. I am willing to bet $5 whole ass dollars that a Callum poster will follow up where he is the other half, because he and Claudia are Aaravos' primary puppets going forward. (Would also parallel their dual set up from the "Lost" and "Found" S5 posters.) I need it.

That said if it's not Callum, 1) Viren (as a leftover pawn who cannot escape) and 2) Rayla (as motivation for Callum, much the same way Claudia has been motivation for Viren, and building on their arc 2 parallels thus far) are my next best guesses.

Frothing at the mouth. Gnawing my own leg off. Thank you for everything

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part 53)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap, Triggers, Smut

Over the next few days, this was exactly what Mark did and what he found was something Sean knew would upset you greatly. 

"It looks like your girlfriend's ex is a serial cheater  and he has been for quite some time," Mark divulged, as Sean listened intently, taking in all the information with great interest. He already didn't like Cillian but this, this just confirmed it all for him.

"In early 2009, he cheated on his ex-wife with Sianna Miller, then in 2010 he hooked up with some model from Brussels when they were attending some kind of event. He also had a few flings while filming, one with Annabelle Wallis in 2014 and another with his assistant Julia. Then of course he went on with your girlfriend and knocked her up, but who's counting?

"Fuck me," Sean gasped as his face blanched at this revelation and he felt disgust building up within him. 

"Do you think she knows?" Mark  asked, looking at Sean with curiosity written all over his face.

Sean sighed heavily, "I doubt it. She's too engrossed in the whole idealized perception of this man to actually see who he really is," he told his friend impassively.

"You still want to play this game, then?" Mark taunted, grinning at his friend's reaction.

"I think so," Sean replied flatly.

"Good because I called that woman from Brussels, and she confirmed the affair," Mark said proudly, wondering how Sean could possibly break the news to you now that he had some proof.

"And what now? Am I just going to tell her about it or, -?" Sean  pondered aloud to himself before rubbing his temples with his thumb and index finger, feeling a growing sense of urgency brew within him.

Having spent hours on end gathering the information on Cillian's alleged infidelity, Sean couldn't help but feel a strong compulsion to confront you with the evidence, forcing you to make a decision regarding your future with this man.

But, at the same time, Sean also knew that his actions could potentially cause the two of you to drift apart as well. Revealing dirt on your ex would make him look bad and jealous, which was something that could be detrimental against winning you over. 

Thus, Sean spent several days mulling over the best course of action, coming up with various scenarios and schemas until, eventually, he hit upon a seemingly flawless plan.

Mark had agreed to write about it to you, anonymously, seeking your comment on these allegations before publication would take place. He knew that this would prompt you to discuss the matters with Cillian and thereby creating a conflict between the two of you just before the wedding without Sean actually having to get involved.

Sean thought that this was the best way to go about it and make you question the wisdom behind your ongoing platonic and yet conflicting relationship with Cillian.

And, of course, the plan worked when, on the Monday morning, a few days before Siobhan's wedding, you received an email with the subject line "Unverified Allegations Against Cillian Murphy - Invitation to comment" sent from a reporter at the Irish Times, from an email address you didn't recognise. 

"Dear Miss Y/LN

I am writing to invite your comment for an article that is currently being put together here at the Irish Times. The article deals with unverified allegations of extensive infidelity of the Hollywood actor, Cillian Murphy, with whom I understand the recipient of this email had an affair during 2023. 

The allegations relate to incidents reported between 2007 to 2024 respectively and whilst we have already received statements confirming these allegations from some of the other women involved, including model Alana Simmons and two others, we would also welcome and appreciate any relevant comment you would wish to make.

I look forward to receiving your reply, which we will ensure is included in its entirety in our article.

Kindest Regards

Mark Schulze

Reporter

The Irish Times"

You squinted at the screen, feeling a strange mixture of shock, anger, and confusion. What the fuck was this?

You stared at the email, your heart beating fast. You couldn't believe what you were reading. It couldn't be true, could it? He had always been adamant that you were the only one he had ever cheated on Danielle with and you wondered whether it was all a lie.

Was all that you had together a lie? Did he ever love you? Could he ever love you?

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred @blondie-22

[nalyra-dreaming]

Watching season 2, Armand is so fascinating yet confusing to me. I have only read 1.5 books at this point so I don’t know much about him at all from a lore standpoint. But, the show seem to made him more nuanced than he was at least in the first book, with his backstory and hearing things form his pov and all that.

What I find fascinating is his bad side; his cruelty and violence, because it doesn’t seem unmotivated as in, like, he SOLELY take delight in - it’s almost like he actually feels ENTITLED to it? Like, he genuinely seem to NOT understand how cruel he is sometimes? Or that he is going too far. Take it out on people that I make no sense too. Or hurt people that he claim to love, and then believe it won’t change anything, and when it does it confuses him?

Very interesting, a lot of the reason for it seems to simply be out of just pure jealousy - and nothing more.

It’s…strange?…And tragic.

I surprised when I started to feel bad for him because I can actually understand how his thought process may go.

Also, his what it seems to me twisted way he sees love. Confusing love with dominance and control; and when he witnesses actual love being given to someone, he doesn’t know handle it and either want to destroy or make it fit the only mould that he knows.

;(

Armand... is Armand. :) (And yes, they gave him a LOT of nuance!)

I'm not sure how else to say it. He does not think like other people. Part of it is the way he was broken, for centuries, by the cult. Part of it is definitely the way he thinks, imho. Anne wrote him with synesthesia, too.

He feels deeply, but fails to foresee the emotional impact on others when he does not feel for people and hurts them (Claudia, for example, and the emotional impact him killing her would have on his relationship with Louis). He cannot really anticipate the repercussions, and therefore is then taken aback and hurt by said repercussions. (Which is why he ends up "readjusting continuously", in the show, too, he constantly tries to protect his own feelings, and reach his own emotional goal, but thereby hurts others... which then backfires.)

And yes, he feels entitled to what he does - and he does what he thinks best, regularly, even in the later books, which is imho part of the centuries of forced ruling as a coven leader. What he thinks is best does not always match with what others think is best though - which is, ironically, something he shares with Marius, who also often does what he thinks best, no matter the opinion of others.

[lesbiansforboromir]

Why you don't like Galadriel?

WELL. I mean this would need a complex answer, for one thing because you could say I don't actually dislike Galadriel as a character really. She's interesting, she has layers, her position in the story creates intriguing mysteries and insights into elven realities and her actions are always percieved in multiple different ways by different characters. She is both an object of world building and a lense to view it through, she had only contempt for Feanor but is the character MOST like him in the end, there's lots going on!

So as usual what I'd say I dislike is more fandom's perception of Galadriel than Galadriel herself, although don't get me wrong in terms of sympathy for her I have none to spare. But to the fandom she's like... well she's whatever anyone wants her to be, so long as that's pretty much perfect and always more right than anyone else around her. Idk if this question came because of my RoP Galadriel tirade post of a week ago, but the fact that people seem to believe Galadriel's right to the 'good guy' role is so irrefutible that it makes any negative portrayal of her 'bad' and 'tolkien's rolling in his grave' etc etc- it's just flabbergasting to me and is a symptom of this problem.

Like Galadriel's entire motive for coming to middle earth, declared and narrated, is to rule over people. She wants to be a Queen of a land that she controls with people inside it whom she has power over. That's it. Now, far be it from me to be on the Valar's side, lord knows I don't support their right to unquestioned rule either and the Eldar's urge to rule themselves is completely valid and Galadriel's no worse than any of her male counterparts who were also looking for the same thing. (In fact, given this is something she is apparently required to 'overcome' when none of those male elves must do the same, I'm inclined to believe this is another of those 'eowyn must reject violence for peace because war is bad except when men do it and for sure the men do continue to do it that's fine' misogynist tolkien moments.)

BUT STILL.. that's not like... a GOOD motive is it? It's neutral at best, right? And Galadriel never actually does anything that could be called more than polite for the rest of the time we know her. She never risks anything for the good of middle earth, she never solves any problems, she goes from place to place to avoid any conflict that threatens her until she and her husband finally decide to usurp a Silvan kingdom and magically isolate it from the rest of the world. They change Lindórinand's name to Lothlorien, thereby overwriting the language of it's native population and Galadriel then uses the power of her ring (that was given to her she didn't make it heself) to EMBALM (tolkien's words) the forest in time just so that she could make it appear as much like Valinor (her home, not the silvan's) as possible. Like!! This is not some paragon of virtue character!

Honestly RoP's portrayal of Galadriel is actually vastly more sympathetic than her actual character. PTSD, survivor's guilt and the maladaptive cope of needing to hunt down evil fanatically for all eternity is, to my mind, 100% more understandable than just... staying in Middle-Earth because she still wanted to rule over people and never believed she did anything wrong in the first place. Which is the canonical reason she's still in middle-earth post the first age, technically a sin by the Valar's standards! Galadriel is rebelling against the will of the west in doing this, but apparently SHE gets all the grace and chances to 'reform' in the world, unlike some other characters I could name >:|

... Maybe she aggravates me a little, but she does so IN COMPARISON to the criticisms other characters must bear as 'the reason they had to die to redeem themselves'. Like if Boromir wanted to take the ring once in order to save his people, is death really the only way to atone for that when Galadriel has been power hungry for 7000 goddamn years nonstop, acquired and used her own ring of power to satisfy that power hunger and then managed to 'overcome it' at the very last minute JUST before middle-earth became 'less elven' (and therefore her position there would be less prestigeous) to demurely sail off home to a gilded cage paradise where literally all her family are alive and waiting for her. Like is 'power hunger' really the sin Boromir comitted here that he needs to die for. Is Tolkien really criticising the desire for power. Is the narrative of lotr really so cohesive and consistent as to allow you to put all the characters into good and bad little boxes and declare those categorisations infallible?

Am I making sense, is this coherent. Does it make more sense if I say like... I do not dislike Galadriel as a character, I dislike what her fandom-reputation reveals about the way the story is engaged with by and large? When I am getting heated about this or that misconception or aspect of her character, it is not because I hate she has that aspect, I like a lot of morally questionable characters, what I am railing against is the double standard that her having that trait reveals. (And I'm not even really angry about it I'm more just very activated by what it reveals about the story, like it makes me feral) The narrative loves Galadriel, Tolkien loves Galadriel, characters regularly threaten violence in order to defend Galadriel from even mild verbal criticism and no one appears to see this as a kind of ominous aspect of her when she's done very little to deserve it. Other than, of course, be ontologically 'pure' and 'divine' due entirely to the circumstances of her birth. I'm a bit manic right now so I hope literally any of that made sense.

Actually addendum example just to further affirm my point. So catholic tolkien scholars will tell you that Denethor's use of the Palantir was a sin, apparently even using a tool you have 'the right' to use to observe reality as it actually exists and then extrapolating that observation into a prediction of the future (ie seeing frodo is captured and the ring gone and extrapolating that the enemy has it and you're all doomed) is a sin. Because only god is allowed to see into the future. And this is somewhat backed up by the way characters treat Denethor's use of the Palantir, it was apparently foolhardy and bad and reckless and nebulously wrong etc. Remember, the Palantir is not a mystical artifact, it is like a satallite imaging tool + a one way video only skype.

.

Galadriel's mirror literally sees the future 😂LIKE? WHY DOES SHE HAVE IT? WHY IS SHE ALLOWED TO USE IT? WHY CAN SHE JUST SHOW IT TO OTHER PEOPLE? It's because she's holy!! But that doesn't mean anything about her actual character, it's just an attribute she inherited from her family and her place of birth that actively changes what her existence means entirely by it's own virtue. Imagine living in this world for a second, imagine if it was ontologically true that you (an unblessed child of eru) would never be as right or as good as Galadriel, no matter what the reality of both your actions were. LIKE. !! WOULD YOU LIKE GALADRIEL?