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vlrspace · 1 year

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possessive, midoriya x reader

wc: 1.6K

part two, part three

there are three times where midoriya showed you his possessive, jealous and territorial side, they live in your mind rent free.

not that he wouldn’t touch you or anything, but these three times were ones you haven’t expected of the shy boy, who became tall, sturdy and broad over the years. midoriya hesitated to take your hand or give you a kiss on many occasions, fearing of making you uncomfortable or hurting you. it was never the case when you felt his fingers brush against your skin, his touches were always tender, but he remained a gentleman even now, half a year into the relationship.

sure, midoriya can become bold and confident, like throwing an arm around your shoulder around school, kissing you in empty hallways and sneaking into your room after curfew. these were already hot and daring from midoriya, so the first time it happened, your gentle and timid boyfriend showed everyone his possessive side, you were beyond stunned.

a trip to the mall became a monthly event for your class, someone was always running out of something, needing new clothes or had to buy the latest video game. which is why you all agreed to split up because they would surely kick you out of the mall if twenty people just stepped into an already crowded shop. the girls dragged you away from midoriya’s side, who at first didn’t understand why your hand has been ripped from his, but when you gave him a reassuring smile and a wave, he seemed to visibly relax.

it was a tiring process of trying on many different types of clothes and accessories. your friends lost you at one of the drug stores mentally because your brain just couldn’t handle the many different things anymore so when jiro looked at you with the same interest in her eyes, you two agreed that this is how kaminari must feel when he’s jammed.

you two ended up standing outside at the last shop, keeping in contact with the boys, so you can all go and grab lunch together. midoriya asked if you wanted him to meet you before lunch but you kindly declined, not wanting to upset your friends for ruining your girls time. it was surprising that even though, you spent more than 15 minutes waiting for them to exit the shop, that you arrived to the food court first. you and momo decided to stay back at your table while the girls went ahead to buy their lunch.

the conversation between you and momo went flawlessly, you felt perfectly content and comfortable as the two of you stood opposite of each other. however, the pleasant atmosphere disappeared when a boy, around your age or a bit older, slid in between you and momo, interrupting your conversation to start a new one with you.

“oh my, an angel sent from heaven. are you free later honey?” his voice was sickly sweet and the amount of cologne reeked off him so much that you had to stop yourself from gagging.

“leave me alone” you mumbled, trying to move away from him, even if he was shorter and less toned than your boyfriend, you still felt uncomfortable and anxious about the whole situation already.

“awh sweetheart, no need to play hard to get” he smirked, taking a step closer to you before leaning closer to your face “i’d treat you real nice, i promise” his tone sounded so fake, you started to feel sick as he grabbed your arm. you hadn’t had the chance to respond as you took a step back to put some space between you two, trying to free yourself from his grip, your back hitting a hard chest, a familiar hand wrapping itself over your waist.

unbeknownst to you, midoriya entered the food court with the boys the second this guy walked up to you. now midoriya doesn’t blame him, you’re a beautiful woman, he’s mesmerised every time he looks at you and he isn’t surprised that you catch the eyes of many. unfortunately to everyone else, you belong to him and him only.

midoriya started to walk towards you before the others could hold him back, aware of the destruction one for all could do when the green haired male is angry. since the boy in front of you hid momo behind him, you haven’t seen the way her eyes flickered behind you two, wide and shocked to see midoriya’s expression. your friends are used to midoriya’s timidity around you, you’re often louder and more confident while he follows you around like a huge lovesick puppy. it’s usually very funny how his larger frame, strong and muscular, becomes mushy when you’re around.

so this was new to everyone, the way his usual bright eyes were dark and sharp, jaw tight as his face was focused on the scumbag in front of him, standing at 6”3, muscles all tense, midoriya truly looked terrifying.

“she’s already taken” midoriya’s voice comes out deep, grumbling at the boy in front of you two, his arm tightly holding you close to him. if the situation was different, you know you would throw yourself at him, because damn, this side of him was so hot.

it’s funny to see the way the boy’s face in front of you changed within seconds. at first, you can tell that he wanted to come up with something to make himself look better, but as he took in the face above him, he seemed to realise that he’s no match for midoriya. it was hard to not recognise the future symbol of peace for anyone nowadays, but this asshole was 5 foot something, and stood nothing against those muscles midoriya gained over the years.

“i’m sorry” the boy stammered, looking quite embarrassed and avoided midoriya’s gaze, who seemed to press you more against him, so unless he spun you around to face him, you’re stuck like this. “i uh-i didn’t know” his words came out swiftly and tone very shaky, he finally lets go of your arm and you let it fall beside you, not daring to move.

todoroki comes up to stand next momo, kirishima and iida following behind, standing next to midoriya to make sure no punches are thrown. fortunately, nothing happens as midoriya sends a glare towards the boy, before moving you by the waist and starts leading you away from the table.

“are you okay? he didn’t hurt you, right?” midoriya’s voice is slightly strained from the sudden anger he felt from a few minutes ago, his hand stroking your waist and your side and presses his lips against the crown of your head.

“no, no i’m okay. you arrived just at the right time” you quietly said, a little bit shaken up from the events and shocked by midoriya’s behaviour.

“let’s get something to eat, yeah? what would you like? it’s my treat baby” your boyfriends cheery mood is starting to come back, even if his hold on you is still a little tight. you don’t see a point in arguing with him over about the payment of your lunch because you know that he won’t let you pay either way.

when the two of you return back to the table, everyone is already eating, so they are making space for the two of and you both join in. momo asks you right away if you’re okay and apologises to you for not being able to do anything.

“don’t worry momo! “you reassure her with a warm smile as you continue on eating your sushi.

“still, i feel bad! i should’ve said something” her voice sounded light as her eyes began to tear up. bless her, you think, she’s so kind hearted, so you stand up from your chair and hug her from behind, your face smushed with hers and she lets out an airy giggle and puts a hand on your arms for comfort.

“oh my god, let me take a picture! you two are so cute!!!” mina practically screams out loud, causing everyone to laugh around you. momo and you smile for the picture and you know it turned out rather cute.

you walk back to your seat next to midoriya, who now fully calmed down and grins at you as you sit down “besides, mr. number one here saved the day again” you add jokingly, leaning against midoriya’s chest as he puts an arm around your shoulders. “never knew you could be so possessive izu” you whisper to him and his cheeks flush red, causing you to giggle.

“can we talk about how scary izuku looked, like i’ve never seen him so terrifying before unless he’s in a fight” kaminari says with sero and mineta nodding next to him, discussing how they never want to make midoriya mad again because they nearly shitted themselves.

“like sure, katsuki can be very intimidating, but holy shit dude, that was another level” kirishima adds, looking at midoriya with a toothy grin to make sure he doesn’t take it as an offence, which midoriya actually takes as a praise (in his mind).

“i don’t like it when someone hurts people i care about” the green haired man replies with a small smile, gently squeezing your shoulder and you smile to yourself from how safe you feel in his arms. “and no one messes with what’s mine” the last bit came out quite quietly, only heard by you as he tucked his face in your hair, and it was your turn to sit with a flushed face, making midoriya smirk.

the rest of the day went by, midoriya didn’t let you out of his sight and held your hand the whole way around.

oh lord, if only you knew this was just the mild level of midoriya’s boldness.

#bnha x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x you #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku x y/n #izuku x reader #izuku x you #deku x reader #izuku midoryia x you #izuku midoriya x reader

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hyperfixatedonthisnow · 1 year

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Love in the Rain

*not my GIF Summary: Nikolai is your best friend and you’re hopelessly in love with him, too bad he’s engaged to Alina Starkov. But maybe a storm and a love confession could change everything. Requested by: kateswone - Could you do a Nikolai x reader one, where there's a lot of pining and in the rain confession in the end? - This started as a drabble and somehow became 6000 words 🙈 I hope you like it! Word count: 6K ish Warnings: NSFW - 18+ only. Minor Alina Starkov friendship and brief mention of Dominic Vertov, mild angst/pining, fluff, idiots in love, smut, fem!reader, fingering, P in V sex, unprotected sex (not recommended in real life!), suggestion of oral sex. Fun fact, this was my first ever request! I had so much fun writing it, so if anyone would like to request something in the future please do, my inbox is always open and anonymous asks are on too ��

You had always known you were illegitimate, born to a nobleman and his housekeeper. Though their union may have been scandalous, you believed with all your heart that they had loved each other.

You had few true memories of your mother, who had died when you were very young, but you remembered the happy years you had spent with your father, who had been warm and loving. He had always treated you as his daughter and never made you feel less than. Unfortunately when he died, yet another casualty of the Ravkan war, you had finally found out what it truly meant to be illegitimate. A bastard child could not inherit and your father’s estate had been entailed away to some distant male relation. The new master of the house had not wanted the trouble or expense of raising a child, and your father’s will did not include any incentive for him to do so. So you were promptly dropped off at an orphanage and at 8 years old, you had found yourself completely alone in the world. You had little to call your own except a book of fairy tales that had once belonged to your mother. Some of the pages were frayed around the edges and the cover was battered and worn, but it was your most treasured possession. The stories were all of a similar ilk, cautionary tales with brave princes fighting dragons and ogres, and princesses held hostage or locked away in towers. The heroes always triumphed and the damsel was always saved, and they all lived happily ever after. You would read the stories over and over, dreaming that one day you too would get your happy ending. Adjusting to life in the orphanage had been difficult, you were used to fine food, to goose-down pillows and silk, but now you ate meager rations, wore clothes of peasant rough-spun and slept on a mattress stuffed with hay. You tried your best to acclimate and vowed never to complain, but your high rank of birth made you unpopular, both with the other children and the staff.

They made it clear that they resented your good manners and education. They mocked the way you spoke and how you held yourself, deliberately excluded you from games and always saddled you with the worst of the chores. No matter how hard you tried, you did not fit in. So any time an opportunity presented itself that would allow you time away from the orphanage, you took it. That was how you met Nikolai. You were 12 and him 14, and you were on the Vertov farm for the summer to help with the wheat harvest. It was hard work but the Vertovs were good people and they treated you kindly. They invited you to eat dinner with the family every night and one night, their son Dominic brought along a friend from the palace. With his golden hair and shiny boots, Nikolai looked as if he had walked right off the page of your storybook. He took the seat next to you and when he engaged you in conversation it seemed like he was genuinely interested in what you had to say. You quickly found that he was as charming as he was handsome, a fairytale prince brought to life and you warmed to him immediately. In the weeks that followed that first meeting, Nikolai was at the farm almost as often as you were. He rolled up his sleeves and mucked in with the work, spending long days in the fields alongside you and Dominic. Sometimes the boys would tease you, but it was never mean-spirited in the way that it was at the orphanage and soon the three of you became firm friends, joking and laughing together as you worked. Nikolai in particular was easy to talk to and over time you confided in him about how awful things were at the orphanage and how much you missed your father. In return he had told you a bit about his life at the palace, his complicated relationship with his brother and the rumors of his own parentage. You both knew what it was like to feel that you didn’t belong, and having someone else who understood made you feel less alone. Before long you had developed a crush on the prince, though it wasn’t your fault. He was always looking at you, and smiling in that way that made butterflies take flight in your stomach, always telling jokes and trying to make you laugh. He insisted he sit next to you whenever he stayed for dinner, and he had a way of making you feel like you were the only person in the room that mattered. As September came to an end, so did the harvest and you were to return to the orphanage. You had cried saying your goodbyes, and Nikolai had enveloped you in a hug, squeezing you tight and promising he would see you again soon. Just a few days later, a messenger had arrived to notify you that there was a place for you within the Queen’s household. It didn’t take long for the young prince to seek you out once you arrived at the palace, but when you thanked him for bringing you there he had acted the picture of innocence, declaring he had no idea what you were talking about. His mother chose her own ladies, he insisted, though his mischievous grin suggested otherwise. Although she was surely aware of your illegitimate status, the Queen graciously allowed you to adopt your fathers name at court, and the other ladies accepted you as one of their own without question. You found it was remarkably easy to settle into a happy existence at the palace, especially since Nikolai was a constant presence, always there to help and encourage you. No matter how busy he was, you could always depend on seeing him at least once a day. Sometimes he would seek you out at breakfast, stealing fruit from your plate and winking at you when his mother scolded him, or stop you in the hallway to ask about your day while the other ladies giggled behind you, but his favorite time to visit you was late at night, when everyone else was asleep. He would sneak into your room, face lit by dim candlelight and sit cross-legged on your bed, talking endlessly about anything and everything - palace gossip, an idea he had for an invention, places you both wanted to travel, dreams for the future. Even when he went off with Dominic to complete his military service, and then off to sea, he somehow still found time to write to you several times a week until he returned. Now almost 12 years had passed since he had rescued you from your life at the orphanage and Nikolai was no longer a prince, but he was still your best friend. Which only made the fact that your childhood crush had blossomed into unrequited love that much more difficult to bare. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The state banquet was in full swing and you were seated near one end of the long table. The Kaelish ambassador sat to your right and another man on your left, though you could not recall his title. Both men had been talking almost non-stop for over an hour, each competing for your attention, but you had long since tuned them out. You couldn’t stop your eyes wandering to where you knew the King sat, at the head of the table. He was deep in conversation with Alina Starkov, who held the place of honour by his side, but his eyes met yours briefly and the corner of his mouth tipped up into that boyish smile you loved so much. The Kaelish ambassador laid a hand on top of yours on the table, trying to regain your attention and Nikolai’s smile dropped from his face, a small crease appearing between his brows in its place. You turned away, breaking the eye contact so that you could politely extricate yourself from the ambassador’s grasp. When you looked back, the King had returned to his conversation, the Sun Saint once again holding his full attention. You watched as he leaned in close to whisper in her ear, and she tipped her head back to laugh. You studied her as you sipped your wine. The Sun Saint and the saviour of Ravka. You wanted to hate her, but she couldn’t even allow you that you thought bitterly, because not only was she beautiful, she was also brave and kind. Even her laugh was pretty, a light, musical sound. Despite the fact that she had grown up an orphan like you, she had a way about her that just screamed royalty. She would make a perfect Queen for him. You pushed away your plate of half-eaten dinner, your appetite quite ruined. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Nikolai watched you from the opposite end of the table. Alina was talking and he knew he should be focused on her but in truth he was barely even listening. You looked stunning tonight, even more so than usual, and he was having a hard time taking his eyes off you. Your gaze finally fell on him and he smiled back at you, warmth blooming in his chest at having your full attention even in the crowded room, but then the Kaelish ambassador touched your hand with his and Nikolai’s heart sank. You were a beautiful and intelligent woman and yet you were still unmarried, so it was no surprise that any man seated next to you would be vying for your affections. Nikolai knew he had no right to be upset, given his own engagement to Alina, but truthfully, he was a selfish creature at his core and he did not want to see you with anyone but him. As you turned to the ambassador, Nikolai forced himself to shift his attention back to Alina, he couldn’t stand to watch the other man flirt with you. Alina was giving him a knowing look and he didn’t like it. The last thing he wanted was a lecture on the dangers of unrequited love from the Sun Saint. Humor was his favorite method of deflection, and it had always served him well in the past, so he leaned in close, quietly making a joke about the unfortunate looking man sat opposite them. Alina laughed and the moment passed just as he’d hoped it would. He made a concentrated effort to keep his eyes off of you for the rest of dinner. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - After dinner, the King and his fiancé led the procession, their arms linked together delicately, as everyone moved to the ballroom. You trailed behind, tempted to just duck out altogether and go back to your room where you could be alone. Then the Kaelish ambassador appeared at your side, offering to escort you in and dashing all hopes of escape. You looped your arm through his reluctantly and allowed him to take you into the crowded ballroom. Your eyes swept the room involuntarily, seeking Nikolai out as always. You found him off to the side of the dance floor, talking with Alina again, their arms still linked and their heads bent intimately close together. You ignored the bloom of pain in your chest and forced yourself to look away. You turned to the man at your side instead, plastering a smile on your face. “Are you enjoying your time in Ravka, ambassador?” You asked. “Very much so,” he smiled, “but then, what man would not enjoy your charming company?” You looked away, feeling your cheeks heating up at the compliment. “That’s very kind of you to say, ambassador.” “Please, call me Cillian.” “I’m not sure that would be appropriate,” you demurred. “I insist,” he said, taking your hand. You caught sight of Nikolai in your peripheral vision, he and Alina were moving towards you and panic clawed at your throat. You didn’t have it in you tonight to pretend to be happy for them. “Alright,” you allowed, giving him the coyest smile you could manage, “but only if you will agree to dance with me.” The ambassador - Cillian, looked thrilled and you felt a stab of guilt, but you let him lead you away from Nikolai and out onto the dance floor all the same. The orchestra struck up a new tune, blending seamlessly from the last and Cillian pulled you in, one hand clasped with yours and the other at your waist. You tried to keep your eyes entirely on him, studying his features as you moved together through the steps of the dance. He was several years older than you, you determined, but not old, and he was handsome enough, with dark auburn hair and emerald green eyes. He wasn’t Nikolai, but then, no one could measure up to him in your opinion.

When the dance ended, Cillian disappeared to go and fetch you both a drink. You waited for him at the edge of the crowd, and watched as Nikolai escorted Alina out onto the dance floor. The music started up again, a slow, romantic melody and Nikolai held Alina as close as propriety would allow, one hand pressed to the small of her back. At first the two of them just swayed together in time with the music, completely caught up in each other, and then Nikolai whispered something in her ear and finally started to lead her in the dance. They moved beautifully together, perfectly in sync and suddenly you felt so sick, you couldn’t stand it. You turned on your heel, pushing your way through the crowded ballroom and towards the exit as fast as your feet would carry you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Nikolai stared steadfastly ahead as he led the guests into the ballroom, Alina on his arm. If he allowed himself to look around, he would only look for you. He stopped walking as he reached the opposite side of the room, deeming it far enough away from the door and other people to be acceptable. “You might as well look for her,” Alina said, leaning in to him, “I know you want to.” “Who?” he asked, playing dumb. “You know who,” she pressed patiently, “you should go find her and tell her how you feel.” “I don’t know what you mean,” he said, his voice coming out entirely too high to be believable. He cleared his throat conspicuously and she gave him that knowing look again. “Oh come on,” she said, rolling her eyes, “a blind person could see that you’re in love with her.” “I’m not -“ he started automatically, but he cut himself off when Alina raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “Okay, I am,” he admitted, “but I can’t tell her that. She’s my best friend.” “All the more reason to tell her,” Alina reasoned, “all the best relationships start out as friendship.” “No,” Nikolai insisted, “she doesn’t see me that way and I can’t risk losing her.” “With great risk comes great reward,” Alina shrugged, “that sounds like something Sturmhond would say, don’t you think?” “Sturmhond isn’t here,” he muttered, but a nagging voice in his head told him she was right. “Look, there she is now,” Alina said, and Nikolai couldn’t help himself. He turned his head, following her line of sight until he spotted you in your pale blue gown, talking with the same man who had held your attention at dinner. You were smiling and your cheeks were flushed as the ambassador took your hand. Before Nikolai had even had a chance to react, Alina was grasping his arm tight and dragging him through the crowd towards you, but by the time they reached you, you were already out on the dance floor. Jealousy coiled sharp and hot in Nikolai’s gut as he watched the other man hold you in his arms, moving you effortlessly across the floor. You stared into his eyes, as if he was the only person you could see and Nikolai’s heart ached. He couldn’t bare to watch and yet he found he couldn’t look away. As soon as the music ended, he pulled Alina onto the dance floor without even asking, determined to distract himself. “I can’t dance,” she hissed, clearly annoyed despite the smile fixed to her face, “I don’t know how!” He laid his hand lightly on the small of her back, helping her sway gently in time with the beat. “Sorry,” he whispered, “just let me lead, you’ll be fine.” He began to lead her through the dance, keeping his frame firm. Luckily the melody was slow and even, so it was not difficult for Alina to follow him, but he looked up just in time to see you fleeing the ballroom and then both their footsteps faltered. He murmured a hasty apology to Alina, abandoning her on the dance floor to pursue you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You ran aimlessly until you somehow ended up at the palace gardens. You just needed to get away, couldn’t bare to witness the happy couple for another minute. The rain was pouring down in sheets, the stormy weather a perfect mirror to your emotions. You stepped out into the downpour, and instantly regretted it as the rain soaked through your gown with every step you took, but going back inside was not an option. You kept your head down and ran towards the gazebo, seeking shelter there. Water dripped down your face, mixing with your tears as you finally allowed them to fall. The sound of the rain was loud in your ears and you were so caught up in your own misery that you were taken by surprise when he spoke. “Are you ok?” Nikolai asked, “what are you doing out here?” You whirled around, finding him standing behind you under the gazebo, presumably taking shelter from the storm as you had done. He looked just as wet as you felt, his blonde curls dripping onto his forehead and the white of his shirt almost translucent in places where the rain had soaked through completely. You wiped discreetly at your tears, clearing your throat but you didn’t answer him. You didn’t trust yourself to speak. He removed his jacket, offering it up to you. “You’ll catch your death out in this storm without a coat,” he chided. When you made no move to accept it from his outstretched hand, he stepped closer, huffing impatiently and you couldn’t help but laugh. “I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think that’s going to do much good,” you said, and his face twisted in confusion. He looked down at the sodden garment in his hand, suddenly realizing how wet it actually was. “I suppose not,” he conceded with a chuckle. He moved to the low railing so that he could lay his jacket over it, then he leaned against it, swiping a hand through his wet hair to brush it back from his face. “What are you doing out here?” You questioned. He gave you a wry smile, “I asked you first.” “I needed a moment alone,” you admitted, chewing on your bottom lip. He raised his eyebrows in question. Seeing you with Alina was killing me, you thought. But you couldn’t say that out loud, so instead you said, “The Kaelish ambassador proposed to me.” The lie tripped off your tongue so easily, you almost believed it yourself. Nikolai barked a surprised laugh, “Sounds like he’s had too much kvas,” he snorted, “I hope you let him down gently.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Actually, I told him I’d think about it,” you said, swallowing down your hurt. Was it really so unbelievable to him that a man could want you? “You can’t be serious?” He exclaimed, all trace of amusement suddenly gone. You shrugged your shoulders noncommittally and silence stretched between you. Nikolai scrubbed a hand over his face in apparent frustration, standing to pace uneasily. “You can’t marry him,” he said finally, his face unreadable. “Why not?” “He isn’t right for you,” he muttered. “You barely know him,” you bristled, feeling your temper begin to rise. What right did he have to decide for you? “Neither do you,” he countered. “Do you even love him?” “What does that matter? Marriage is an economic proposition,” you argued. “He’s handsome and rich, and he treats me kindly. As far as husbands go, I could certainly do much worse.” “As your friend, I am telling you that marrying him would be a mistake,” Nikolai insisted, his voice rising, “you cannot possibly be happy with a man you do not love.” “As my friend,” you spat, “you should support my choice, just as I did yours. Perhaps I do not love him now, but I will be well taken care of, and I may learn to love him in time.” Nikolai shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t believe that. I know you don’t. You’ve always wanted a love match.” “Yes well, we can’t always get what we want,” you said softly, looking away. “Not everyone can be as lucky as you and Alina.” “Alina and I are not a love match,” he frowned, “Surely you know that? Our engagement is purely a political alliance.” “Political, of course,” you huffed sarcastically. “It certainly seems that way when you’re fawning over her at every opportunity. Don’t lie to me Nikolai. You’re clearly in love with her!” “I do not fawn!” He objected angrily, “and I am not in love with Alina! How could I be, when my heart wholly belongs to you?!” You glared at him even as tears filled your eyes. “Now you’re just being cruel. To say such a thing when you know -“ you cut yourself off, your voice breaking. “When I know… what?” he demanded, moving into your personal space. Your fingers itched to reach out and touch him. You curled your hands into fists, fighting the instinct as you tilted your head back to look at him. “When you know that I’ve loved you for so long,” you whispered. You hadn’t meant to admit it, but you were so tired of pretending. “I know no such thing,” he said, his forehead creased into a frown. He lifted his hand to push your damp hair back behind your ear and the touch made you shiver, “I am a man of many talents, it’s true, but mind reading isn’t one of them.” “Don’t be glib,” you muttered, bringing your hands up to his chest, ready to shove him away but he captured your wrists, tugging you against him instead. Your heart was pounding and you were sure he could feel it. He said nothing, just searching your expression for something, and then his face lit up in a bright smile, all of his righteous anger melting away in an instant. “Saints. I’ve spent 10 years dreaming of this moment.” “Don’t,” you warned, your tone sharp, and his frown returned. “Don’t pretend to love me back, that isn’t fair.” “I’m not pretending,” he promised. You eyed him skeptically. “I love you,” he said earnestly, “I have loved you from the very first moment that we met, and in every moment since then. Every time we have been together and every time we were apart. In every look we have shared and every word we have spoken I have felt it, I have known it deep in my soul, and I cannot go another second without you knowing it too.” You stared at him, willing yourself not to cry as you tried to process his admission. You waited for him to take the words back, to laugh and say he was joking, but he didn’t. He closed his eyes briefly, his expression serious. His mouth pressed into a thin line, like he didn’t trust himself not to say more and when he opened his eyes, they were so full of love that you could scarcely believe it. Your heart soared with joy. “I love you too,” you assured him and he dipped his head to kiss you, finally, reverent and sweet. You pressed yourself against him, needing to be closer and his hand cupped your cheek, tilting your head up as you opened your mouth to him. His free hand went to your hair, gently pulling out the pins that held it in place, until it tumbled down around your shoulders. Later, you wouldn’t be sure if it was you or him that had turned the kiss hungry, but the shift felt so natural, like coming home, even as heat spread through you like wildfire, desperate and out of control. When your mouths finally separated, you were both breathless. You panted, trying to catch your breath and he placed a kiss below your ear before he gently sucked and nipped a line down the column of your throat and across your breasts. His clever tongue swirled over your nipple through the fabric of your gown and you gasped, arching in to him. He tugged at your neckline, seeking access to more skin and growled in frustration when it didn’t give way. You threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him back up so that you could cover his mouth with your own again. He reached around to the back of your gown, nimble fingers making light work of the dozens of tiny buttons tracing your spine. As he reached the final button, you suddenly remembered that you were outside. It was dark, and the storm made it improbable that anyone would happen upon you out here in the gazebo, but improbable was not impossible. “Wait,” you murmured. To his credit, his hands stilled instantly, albeit reluctantly, and he raised his head to regard you. “Not here, someone might see us.” “I don’t care,” he said, his mouth returning to your throat and you struggled to recall why you were objecting. “Nikolai…” you tried again weakly. “I must have you,” he insisted, his voice rough with arousal, “I cannot wait a moment longer.” And really, how were you to argue with that? You dragged your hands down his chest, grabbing the hem of his shirt and he smiled as he lifted his arms, helping you pull it up and off over his head. When he slipped your gown from your shoulders, he sank to his knees along with it, pressing teasing kisses across your abdomen as the fabric pooled at your feet. Your hands grasped his shoulders as he lowered your underwear, baring you to him completely and a sudden wave of shyness over took you. You carded your fingers through his hair, fighting the urge to cover yourself. “Perfect,” he murmured, raising his eyes to meet yours. The desire in his gaze was so intense that it seemed to simmer in the air between you and just like that, your embarrassment dissipated. He tugged gently on your hips, urging you downward and when you joined him on the floor he tipped you backwards so that you were laying on your gown. The damp fabric was soft against your skin, cushioning your body from the unforgiving wood beneath it. Nikolai lay down beside you, propped up on one elbow and ran his free hand across your collarbone and down your side, his fingers skimming the underside of your breast, tracing your ribs and fluttering lightly over your stomach until they reached the apex of your thighs. He circled your clit, slow at first, gentle, and then gradually increased in speed and pressure as your body responded. He slipped his tongue into your mouth at the same time as he slipped a finger inside you and when you shuddered, he added another, curling them just right in a way that had you moaning his name. Your whole body felt tense, every muscle straining for release and he dipped his head to capture the dusky peak of one nipple between his teeth. The extra stimulation was all that you needed to reach your peak, and you clutched to him desperately as the wave of your orgasm crested, your core clenching around his fingers as he coaxed you through it. “Saints, you’re so beautiful when you come,” he confessed, his voice low and gravelly. You wanted to kiss him, but he seemed so far away and you still felt fuzzy, your limbs not quite under your control, so you settled for pressing a kiss to his shoulder instead. Luckily he seemed to understand what you needed, he hovered over you, careful to keep his weight off you as he claimed your mouth again, but you were impatient for more. You nipped at his bottom lip, pulling him down on to you, wanting to feel every inch of his body against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him ever closer and swallowed his gasp when his clothed arousal made contact with your center. You reached a hand between you and tugged at his laces, eager to rid him of his breeches. He rushed to help, pushing them down so he could kick them off as soon as they were untied. He settled himself between your thighs, his cock dipping between your folds almost of its own accord and you suddenly couldn’t wait to have him inside you. You watched as he lined himself up with your entrance. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Nikolai pressed his forehead to yours, looking down the length of your bodies so he could watch as he entered you for the first time. The sound you made as he pushed inside was almost enough to undo him, and he had to close his eyes, fighting for control of his body. Only once he was certain he would not embarrass himself did he begin to move, burying himself in your heat only to retreat, over and over in a punishing rhythm that forced the air from his lungs and had you writhing beneath him. He groaned as you moved your own hips against him, meeting his thrusts on the downstroke, chasing your own pleasure as much as his. He straightened, raising himself up slightly so he could take you in, wanting to absorb every tiny detail of you beneath him. The way your hair was spread out around you like a halo, the pink blush that spread across your cheeks and down your chest, the perfect cupids bow of your lips, kiss swollen and cherry red. He wanted to commit the moment to memory, never wanted to forget the sight of you, sinful and gorgeous, and utterly wrecked. He lowered his head so he could nip gently at the expanse of skin just above your collarbone. You keened in response, tipping your head back to bare more of your throat to him and he felt a surge of something dark and possessive, an almost overwhelming sensation that made him want to sink his teeth in, to suck a bruise into your skin and mark you as his. But he would never do it without your permission, so settled for slanting his mouth over yours instead. He hitched your legs up higher on his waist, changing the angle slightly and allowing him to slide even deeper. You cried out as he finally hit that perfect spot inside you and he groaned. He couldn’t get enough of the sounds you made. He chased every moan, every sigh, like an addict looking for his next fix and he knew that even if he got to make love to you a million times over, it would never be enough. You were the sea and he was a sailor lost to the rip-tide, ready to drown in your depths. His hips began to lose their rhythm as he felt the first tendrils of his impending climax creeping up his spine and he was torn between the near desperate need to come and not wanting this to ever end. He slipped his hand between your sweat slick bodies to circle your clit as he worked his hips harder, determined that you should reach completion right along with him. Your nails dug in to his shoulder involuntarily as your orgasm hit you and you whispered his name like a prayer. The spike of pain only heightened his pleasure as he followed you over the edge, spilling his seed deep within you. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - You turned on to your side so that you were lying face to face, so close that your noses were touching, your limbs tangled together and sweat cooling on your skin. The rain showed no sign of stopping and you knew that you should get dressed, go back inside before you both caught a chill, but you were content to bask in the afterglow for as long as possible. Nikolai seemed to be in agreement. He made no effort to move beyond stroking his fingers up and down the length of your arm in a slow caress, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his path. “Marry me,” he murmured and your tender heart skipped a beat.

You didn’t know what to say, so you settled for just a slight shake of your head. Nikolai sighed dramatically. “Before you give me your final answer, I should tell you that declining the King’s hand almost certainly counts as treason.”

“You’re already engaged,” you pointed out, rolling your eyes. “Not if I don’t want to be,” he said easily. “I don’t care about making a political alliance and I’m sure Alina doesn’t either. She’ll likely be relieved to be rid of me, as will her tracker.” “You’re the King,” you reminded him, “You can’t just marry whoever you want on a whim.” “Actually I can,” he smirked, looping an arm around your waist to pull you even closer. “I can do as I please, because I am the King. A perk of the position is being able to indulge all of my whims.” “We both know that’s not true. You have to do what is best for Ravka, and making a bastard orphan your Queen is not it.” “Why not? They already have a bastard King, why not complete the matching set?” he grinned. “Nikolai…” He sighed exasperatedly. “If you come up with any more objections, I’m going to get my feelings hurt.” “But your advisors -“ you argued. “Are just that, advisors. They give me advice, but I do not have to take it. In fact, I much prefer to completely ignore them whenever possible. It keeps them humble,” he winked. “Nikolai, be serious,” you admonished. “I am,” he protested, “I have never been more serious about anything in my life. I have given Ravka everything I have, I am allowed to be selfish in this. I want you and I shall have you as my wife, provided you will allow it.” Your stomach did a little flip and you bit your lip, trying not to show how affected you were by his words. “I don’t know,” you mused, your tone teasing, “I have had several offers for my hand this evening. I shall have to consider my options.” “Of course,” he agreed, nodding sagely before his smile turned wicked, “but perhaps there is something I could do to tip the balance in my favor?” He nudged you gently onto your back and shifted over you so that he could trail a path of teasing kisses across your collarbone and down the length of your body. “Mmmm” you hummed airily, pretending to think about it. You threaded your fingers through the mess of his curls as he reached the apex of your thighs. “Perhaps.”

#nikolai lanstov x reader #Nikolai Duology #nikolai lantsov #Smut #fluff #pining #idiots in love #Grishaverse #Zoya is my queen but not in this fic #i wrote this

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gwenllian-in-the-abbey · 4 months

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What do you think of Grrm's portrayal of religion?

Hi anon, this is a really interesting question, and it took me awhile to put together what I hope is a coherent answer.

For context, I think GRRM's background is important to keep in mind. George is almost exactly my parents' age and belongs to the same demographic of American anti-war ex hippies who aged into broadly liberal baby-boomers. Their radicalism has largely mellowed over the years, they may not be the most up to date on the appropriate terminology, and they tend to prioritize nonviolent solutions to systemic problems (my mom often tells me the younger generation needs to do another March on Washington). One thing liberal boomers also tend have in common is that often they grew up religious but, as they entered their 20s and went to college, broke away from the churches of their childhood. My family is full of ex-Catholic liberal boomers like George. They might have dabbled in Buddhism or Hinduism in the 70s, New Age mysticism in the 80s or 90s, and ended up settling into statements like, "I'm spiritual, but not religious." Almost invariably, they have a sort of disdain for organized religion, which they associate with a kind of yokel mentality, a place for anti-Choice anti-LGBTQ traditionalists. Although they will profess "to each his own," to the average liberal boomer, the church represents regressive values and they cannot imagine why anyone would willingly return to it. Even those who did remain religious take great pains to make it known they are not like those Christians. And to be fair, liberal boomers have a good reason to feel this way. The churches of their childhoods were not fun places for people whose own ideas and values went against post-WW2 broadly white middle class values. Unsurprisingly, SFF authors tend to fit into this category.

And this sort of bleeds into a lot of 90s SFF. You see a lot of worlds that have religion, but rarely do you have characters that are religious, and even more rarely do you have sympathetic young protagonists who are religious. You might have the occasional kindly priest or nun type, but far more often these characters will be abusive, mean spirited, or narrow minded (think of Brienne's childhood septas). Religion is often treated with the same disdain by in-world characters as it is by the authors themselves. You might even have worlds that are almost entirely secular, with vague references to "The Gods," but without any real religious traditions constructed around them (Robin Hobb's Realm of the Elderlings series, which features two vague dieties, Eda and El, who seem to have no religious traditions surrounding them whatsoever). You might have cultish religions that are actively dangerous and must be stopped, or you might have Catholic church analogues, existing in opposition to everything cool and fun. Protagonists tend to be cynical non-believer types, or they might start off as true believers and lose their religion along the way. Rarely are they allowed to have sincere and abiding faith.

And you can see a lot of this in George's writing, in the way he portrays the Faith of the Seven and other religions, and the way the fandom receives them. The Faith of the Seven is Westeros' answer to the Catholic church, but there are also the Old Gods, the faith of R'hllor, and others, often presented in opposition to each other. George himself sees religion as a divisive force, and in ASOIAF, we see religions in conflict with each other, we see them weaponized to fuel vendettas, we see them used to drive prophesies and start wars. There's a clip somewhere, of George at a panel, where he's talking about religious conflict and his take is very reminiscent of George Carlin's-- you can tell he knows the bit. "Are you really going to kill all of these people because a giant invisible guy in the sky told you too? And your giant guy in the sky is different?" George asks, receiving a round of applause from the crowd. It's a very modern view on religion, which is fair, I think. He's writing for a modern audience who have modern conceptions of the church, and he is making a deliberate point about the harm religion can do. .

What I do think is missing, or at least downplayed, are the ways in which the medieval church was really a driving cultural and social force in medieval Europe. We live in a secular society, so we have the luxury of disregarding the church in a way that medieval people did not. This is one major way in which the worldbuilding of ASOIAF departs from the real world middle ages. To portray the medieval church as a primarily regressive institution that mostly drove conflict is too simplistic. The Catholic church is what culturally unified most of western Europe into what was known as "Christendom." The clergy served political functions, such as providing an important check upon the power of medieval kings, and when the power of the church declined, despotism grew. Socially, for most western Europeans, the church was also the center of day to day life. Insofar as medieval peasants had any opportunities for leisure time and celebrations, most of these revolved around the church. The church was for centuries a driving force behind art, music, literature, and architecture, and it also performed important social functions, such as operating poorhouses and leper-houses, and providing educations for children.

And all of this was just extremely normal. Most people prayed multiple times each day, and sincerely believed in heaven a hell. The state of one's soul after death was such a real concern that the sale of indulgences-- a way that you could pay to get your dead loved ones whose souls were in purgatory into heaven more quickly-- became a major racket for the Church. I've seen the HotD fandom react to Alicent Hightower's level of devotion calling her a religious "fanatic" and I cannot stress enough how absolutely normal Alicent would have been in medieval times. This is where I blame the framing of the show more than George, because it does set Alicent's faith in opposition to Rhaenyra's seemingly more modern values, but does it in a selective way. For instance, Alicent comes off as prudish, and modern audiences hate a prude, but we never see how her faith would have certainly inspired her, as queen, to take other more progressive actions such as giving alms to the poor or bestowing her patronage upon motherhouses. In another post about the fandom perception of Valyrian culture, I talked about how this modern view of devout belief, particularly Catholicism, tends to cast anything that is presented in opposition to it as an unequivocal good, and I see this sort of rhetoric slung around the fandom a lot, "why would you defend the pseudo-Catholics who hate women??" But the pseudo-Catholics are really just normal medieval people, and they didn't hate women, they simply lived in a patriarchal society and the material conditions did not yet exist which would allow them to challenge that in any meaningful way.

#asks #faith of the seven #alicent hightower #grrm #asoiaf and religion #asoiaf

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joons · 1 year

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“The social media gamification of community”. I’m obsessed with this. Do you mind elaborating on it?

When your primary community is online, the normal incentives we have to get along with a diverse group of people are no longer in play. The whole idea of manners is that you are signaling to your neighbors that you are not insane, that you are safe, that you are willing and able to assist them if there's a problem, and you hope they will do the same for you. In a small community, whether it is a workplace, a church, a small town, an apartment building, or a subway car, you are expected to maintain a certain level of politeness and care for other people, because we are social creatures who get spooked in large groups and want to rely on some kind of script for how to behave in ways that won't get us kicked out of the group. We smile wordlessly, we say "hello," we don't blare loud music, we step outside to smoke, we call when someone has died, we hold open doors, we intervene if someone seems uncomfortable, and if we have a real issue with someone, we are forced to confront them about it directly, while trying to be honest, direct, and professional. There are alternatives if we think someone is really harmful, like reporting to the police, or a whisper vine where the people who need to know about their behavior know it. But in general, you cannot get away with spreading lies about someone - or cutting someone off, or being really rude, or refusing to do the small things that allow us to assure each other that we're all fine - without seeing, in an IMMEDIATE, physical sense, the consequences. Something as small as littering will show in our environment. Someone flipping you off unsettles you, even if they're a stranger. And they can see your reaction. They can see the reaction of the people around you, or those of their friends, who might say, "Hey, knock it off." There's basically a shared need to make the space into a strong network, one that helps as many of its inhabitants as possible, where they are safe and where everyone has a stake in not going apeshit, if only because there are people in the vicinity who might punch them for being awful.

We don't get any of that on social media. We can delete people very quickly from our lives without them even knowing. We don't have to face their families, or their disappointed faces when they find out they've upset us. We don't have to even deal with our conflicted feelings as much because we don't have to be reminded of it. If someone annoys us, we can take a video of them, upload it, and immediately get tons of positive feedback from people who don't know the person involved, don't care what will happen if they laugh at them, and will make YOU feel great for being antisocial and cruel to a neighbor. Because it's not happening in front of them. It's at a distance. It makes you feel like a reporter instead of a fellow citizen. And gradually what happens in this isolated, digitized world becomes more important than what is happening in front of you. You don't really "NEED" the people around you, you feel, to survive, so why should you treat them kindly? Why should you compromise on your own preferences, why should you try to reach an agreement that will make everyone feel like they had an input in a difficult situation? You are used to tailoring your own experience, and it's fine to take what is happening in a small town and turn it into content that the entire globe can pick apart without having to live with the fallout.

tl;dr touching grass is so good for you because it reminds you that you are a person who needs others and you can't get in the habit of modding your life to avoid any difficulties because that will just make you stale and unable to grow and make living in the physical presence of people unbearable because everyone is playing to social media instead of looking into someone else's eyes beside them

#it's good to learn to hold your tongue!#because you are aware that word will actually get back to the people you're talking about!#you don't have to have a take on everything and you don't have to treat people like they're downloadable content that are eating ur memory #and i just think being Too Online can make it easy to get into that mindset #me not excluded

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aboxthecolourofheartache · 1 year

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Rem Saverem was a real one. Imagine being like between 28 and 30 and witnessing your crewmates torture a little girl to death, unable to stop them or rescue her. She’s not human but she looks and acts like a suffering child. She dies, horrifically and incompletely (frozen, status: alive). Your crewmates aren’t done with her even when she’s in pieces, and they put her in a jar to save for later. You keep her resting place clean and leave her flowers, knowing she never once got to see the miraculous geo-dome where you grow those flowers. Her siblings(?) or aunts(?) or mothers(?) support that geo-dome, each in a jar of their own, a torture and exploitation even slower than hers. You’re giving her little bits of them, but there’s nothing on the ship that isn’t created or maintained by slavery. There is no viable alternative you can come up with that doesn’t involve an overhaul of everything currently keeping humanity alive in suspended animation without waking up everyone and having a UN-floor-style shitshow of a discussion. You’re not an ethicist or a politician or even a community leader or systems engineer. You’re a navigator with a good head on your shoulders and an unequivocal stance on torturing children: it’s the worst kind of wrong. You don’t really know enough about Plants to understand what the alternatives to their exploitation are, if there are any. You just know it’s wrong, and the complicity eats at your bones and at your sanity via your conscience. How did you ever think that this expedition was the best use of your blank ticket? What would Alex say? (He would hold you and remind you that you are one human woman, and that you protested as much as you could, made your moral stand as best you could, and pushing harder might have resulted in your enforced return to cryo-sleep until the ships reached their destination, and then who would leave the poor child flowers? Who would think of her kindly? Who would be awake instead of you now, continuing to ruin her even after death?)

Then, the universe coughs up two more Independent Plants, and you know exactly why you’re on this expedition and how to make the best possible use of your blank ticket. Never again. You name the children, you treat them like people, you love them - and you’re barely 30 and traumatized as hell and you know you’re fucking things up, but there’s no one else and you cannot allow there to be anyone else, or everything goes back to square one and the twins go to the dissection table. You hide them in plain sight. They love you. You’re happier for their company, less lonely, and you never expected to have children. (You were planning, with Alex. If those plans had worked out, you would not be here to do your flawed best for these twins.) They are so smart, and you cannot bring yourself to tell them anything about the girl who came before them. You can barely put that experience into words for yourself, much less communicate the scope of it to two children. (They are so smart, growing inhumanly fast, and they are still less than a year old. You really should have fucking tried anyway.)

They discover their sister. They’re about one year old, and they fall away from you and from each other and from hope. One-year-olds shouldn’t be actively suicidal. You feel just like you did when you dragged yourself back to your room after screaming at your crewmates decades ago. You still think it was pure cowardice that you volunteered to go back into cryo-sleep so you could wake up years later and avoid spending time with mutilators and murderers. If you checked out, chose to sleep, volunteered for a solo navigation shift, how could you blame Knives for pushing everything down and ignoring it? After your own sick depression, feeling so powerless, how could you blame Vash for wanting to be done with everything?

But they’re barely over a year old. All you really know is that dead people don’t get to make decisions for themselves, death is the end of change for a person. (Alex will always be 27, love you more than anything, and will never meet the children who have become your family.) Things don’t get better for dead people. You want so, so much for things to get better for the twins.

One of them kills you, driving everything into the ground, humanity and Plants alike, because living means change means uncertainty means fear, and he is so afraid and humanity taught him his life was cheap, so why should he value theirs? The other plays the letter but not the spirit of your hopes; he lives for other people and never for himself, internalizes your insistence on the value of life and pays flesh by the pound to preserve it. He won’t follow you into death because your purchased his life (and so many other lives) with yours (he won’t squander that), but in a way he will never forgive you for choosing to die for others, and he’ll take that anger out on himself. You save lives and you doom Plants and you doom humanity trying to save humanity and Plants from their doom. Everyone’s on a rock again, back to where it all started on an inhospitable world, just a new one. But you kept things from ending. It all could have ended.

And you were like 30 and clinging to an imperfect but determined philosophy that kept you from flinging yourself into the grave after Alex, and you weren’t a mother or an educator or a spiritual guide or even particularly suited to raise children, and you fucked these kids up irreparably, but you were all they had and you were better than anyone who would have made them into tissue samples. You tried so hard, and both twins will carry you like a millstone and like a talisman for the rest of their very, very long lives.

And you named one of them Knives. What the fuck, Rem. Knives??

#Box attempts Trigun #this was just word-shoveling and not like…meta or a definitive take or anything #Rem was not an ideal caregiver but she did her damnedest!#she was rebounding from depression and grief #got traumatized again in a way that ripped apart her sense of agency #and made her question the fundamental injustices that keep her species and society going #then surprise! super-powered alien babies!#I would not be surprised if her mental wavelength #was not like one long internal scream with pauses for bedtime stories #RIP Rem you probably fucked it up less than most people would have

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ash5monster01 · 9 months

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Perfect To Love Part 11

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues, language.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

word count: 3,437

a/n: sorry it has been so long friends, I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed and am still in recovery but plz enjoy <3

Part 10 ←→ Part 12

Masterlist

Beth wouldn’t go as far to say she was popular. She was still far from it, but ever since Steve Harrington held her hand in those bleachers the kids at school started to treat her better. Some going as far as talking to her and getting to know her. Now that she didn’t have this huge target on her back she didn’t hate going to school anymore. She didn’t even care if the kids were doing it to get close to Steve, for once she could take a breath of relief when she walked through those doors. For once she got to know her classmates and become friends with them. It’s all she ever wanted out of high school.

“Hey Beth, wait up” Beth turned at the call of her name and Robin almost slammed into her from their sudden stop.

“Hey Claire” Beth said kindly even though confusion was all over her face. Claire was one of the most popular girls in their grade, best friend with Chrissy Cunningham, and Captain of the Cheerleading squad.

“Hey I just wanted to give you this” Claire pulled a neon pink sheet from the stack in her hands, passing it to Beth just to see three dancing skeletons, holding wine glasses, and ‘Come for the Boo’s’ written in bold letters above them. Below was Claire’s address and information about the Halloween Party she’d be throwing.

“A party?” Beth questioned and Robin peered over her shoulder to take a look at the posters that definitely cost more than 80 cents to print.

“Yes, Tina passed the torch down to me for the big Halloween Bash this year. I figured you and Steve could come, and your friends” Claire gestured to Robin and Robins eyes widened as she realized she had been invited too.

“Of course, thanks Claire” Beth told her with a soft smile and the blonde girl moved on, like it wasn’t completely bizarre to be inviting Beth Walker and Robin Buckley to a party.

“Are you gonna go?” Robin questioned as they continued their walk to their next class.

“I mean, I don’t see why not. No one harasses me anymore. It could be fun” Beth shrugged tucking the flyer into her folder.

“Even though she was definitely inviting you to get Steve there?” Robin questioned and Beth chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s not like she’s going to steal Steve from me. We’ve been dating for a little over a week and if he does run off with Claire I know you’ll just kick his ass for me” Beth told her as they reached their classroom, slipping into the desks beside each other.

“That’s very true” Robin pointed out and Beth laughed, permanent blush still on her cheeks because she was dating Steve Harrington. They had to of been in the twilight zone.

“The real question is, is my best friend going to go to this party with me?” Beth looked at Robin with a hopeful look and Robin beamed as she realized she could actually join her two best friends at her first real high school party.

“I thought you’d never ask”

And that was how Beth, Steve, and Robin made plans to go to this silly Halloween party. This time accompanied by each of the kids. Steve had put up a fight, a permanent scowl on his face, because the last thing he wanted to do at a party was babysit. But Beth and Robin assured him they’d watch out for the kids and if anything started to go wrong they would call Nancy and leave. Beth had tried to get Nancy to come along but she planned to call Johnathon and couldn’t be persuaded.

Beth had been able to convince the group to do The Goonies. Her and Steve as Brand and Andy, Robin as Andy’s best friend Stef, Mike after putting up a fight was Mikey, Lucas as Mouth, and Dustin as Data. Max sadly got stuck home with her Mom, helping her move things into their new home. Yet she didn’t complain considering her only options were Mama Fratelli or Sloth. Lucas on the other hand had been sad because he wanted his girlfriend there for their first high school party. Apparently since Billy passed away things between them had been rocky.

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to do this” Steve said squeezing Beth’s hand, looking cute as ever in the red sweat bands that came with his costume. All Beth could do was grin.

“They’re good kids Steve, not like you were in high school” he faked a gasp but Beth’s giggles kept him from feigning hurt feelings. All he could do was laugh along side her.

“The minute I see Dustin try any alcohol we’re out of here” he told her, leaning down and capturing her giggling lips in his own.

“What about me?” Beth asked once he pulled away and he chuckled.

“You can get as drunk as you want, but if your father asks, I had nothing to do with it” Beth laughed again as the group now made their way into the house. It was mainly dark, the music loud enough to make Beth’s ears ring, and the temperature inside was drastically different from the cool 50 degree weather outside.

“Stick together, no alcohol” Robin pointed at the kids as they made their way in the house, grins from ear to ear. They were officially high school partiers. Even crazier, Beth was the reason they were even there. They all ruhed off, not even reacting to what Robin had said causing the young girl to sigh.

"I'll grab us some drinks" Steve said, side stepping behind Beth as he gave her shoulders a squeeze. Robin looked up hopeful, seeking out comfort in an alcoholic beverage despite never have trying it before.

"Strong ones" Robin said and Steve just laughed, knowing Robin would more than likely be drunk two sips into a fruity wine cooler. Yet he pretended to obey as he disapeared into the kitchen. Beth used this moment to survey the room, costumes either intricate or half assed. No in between.

“This is surreal” Beth chuckled to her friend only to see her gasp as her eyes settled on something across the room.

“Vickie is here” Robin hissed before shifting to stand behind Beth. Beth only laughed because Robin could see clear over her head, she wasn’t much of a shield.

“She’s dressed like Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles, wow” Beth said as she spotted their red headed friend, pink dress, and blue flower crown. Beth quickly waved to to the girl. “Hi Vickie!”

“Beth! Hey!” Vickie waved back and Robin grabbed her friends arm, making her stop almost instantly.

“Beth are you kidding? I don’t know what to say to her outside of band” Robin seethed as the red headed girl approached and Beth just rolled her eyes.

“I’m right here, calm down-“ but then Eddie Munson was twirling Beth, higher than a kite, and shocked to see the girl who forced him to do homework at a party of all places. As he pulled the girl away Beth gave Robin a sheepish smile, watching Vickie approach her.

“Beth Walker, is it actually you or am I just really greened out?” he asked curiously, hunched over to look her in the eye.

“Hey Eddie, what’s your costume? Burnout?” Eddie chuckled, a slight shake to his head. Costumes weren’t really his thing.

“It’s you all right” then his eyes flicked up behind her just to see Steve approaching as the Brand to her Andy. “Apparently with Harrington too”

“Munson, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to steal my girl” Steve appeared beside her, costume to match, drinks in hand.

“Beth’s too good for me, she knows that” Beth blushed, never realizing Eddie had thought of her like that. “But you Harrington, you always snag the good girls”

“Alright, stop the pissing contest. Thanks handsome” Beth grinned at Steve, stealing a drink from the two in his hands. Steve blushed and she wasn’t sure if she actually had that affect on him or he had already taken a few sips before finding her.

“Dustin is here, might be nice to have an extra eye on him and the kids. Keep them out of trouble” Steve told Eddie, now business. He knew Dustin liked Eddie, he didn’t have to like it but if someone else was keeping him out of trouble he could accept it.

“No way, Dustin Henderson at a party. I’ve got to see this with my own two eyes” and as quick as he appeared, Eddie disappeared in search of his young Hellfire apprentices.

“Wow, this is strong” Beth told Steve after taking a sip but that didn’t stop her from giving him a grin and chugging some more.

“You’re gonna be the death of me Walker” he told her but she gave him a pout.

“Save the last names for people like Eddie” she told him and he felt his heart swell over how cute she was. He had never thought he could be so attracted to a bigger girl before but now nobody could compare. He was obsessed with Beth Walker and he wanted to make sure she knew it.

“You’re gonna be the death of me Bethany” shivers chilled her spine at the deep and sultry way her said her full name. She had always regretted answering Beth when Tommy asked her name, figuring he so easily turned it into Bertha. She was just so used to everyone calling her Beth for short. Steve calling her Bethany was something so personal she was sure to never get tired of it. That and B.

“Same goes for you Steven” she told him, grin covering her lips. Before she could react his lips were on her own in a sweet kiss, taking a small taste of the cherry lipgloss and alcohol to go with it.

“Let’s hit the dance floor baby, I got some new moves” he grinned and she just giggled, hand curling into his own as he led her to the dance floor. On her way her eyes flitted over the crowd, saying hi back to people who actually offered hellos for once. Then she spotted Colin, eyes trained on her and knuckles white from gripping his beer bottle. She wasn’t sure if he was angry about her attendance or Steve, she wasn’t sure about anything with him anymore.

As the night progressed Steve and Beth had put away quite a few drinks, spent a good hour or three on the dance floor, joined by Robin after she chugged her wine cooler to forget the embarrassment of stumbling over her words in front of Vickie. Beth realized it didn’t matter if she was here or not, as long as she was dancing with her friends. Lucas had been long gone, guilt ridden of leaving behind Max. Steve fought his departure for only a moment before allowing it. Now Dustin and Mike sat squished on either side of Eddie, deep in conversation about their latest campaign.

“I’m gonna grab a new drink” Beth yelled over the music, the alcohol making her more confident and Steve more affectionate towards her.

“Alright sweet thing, we’ll be here” he told her, hands squeezing at her waist and she was too drunk to care, even though his lust filled eyes set her insides on fire.

“Don’t cause too much trouble” she told him before scurrying off to the kitchen to find herself a refill. For the first time all night the kitchen had been abandoned and Beth appreciated the space for a moment.

“So you and Harrington are a real thing huh?” Beth jumped as the voice appeared beside her, some rum slipping up the side of her cup and onto the counter.

“Colin, you scared me” Beth said, ripping a paper towel and cleaning her mess. It was silly really, considering the whole house would be a mess by tomorrow, but she did it anyway.

“I figured you’d date a more quiet type like yourself” he said before slugging back a sip of his beer. He wore a bed sheet as a toga, half his chest peeking out from the white fabric. Colin Matterson was an asshole but at least he wasn’t ugly.

“I’m not quiet, you only think that since no one bothered to treat me like a real person” Beth told him, pouring some coke into her cup. She had made this drink stronger but only because it scared her that she was now somewhat comfortable alone with Colin.

“Guess I should have” he said and suddenly it was like all the air was sucked out of the room. “Considering everyone likes you now because of Harrington. I always figured it would be the other way around, torture the person dating you for dating you. If I had known it would be like this maybe I would’ve actually made a move”

“You don’t get to say things like that to me” Beth shook her head, taking a step back and a sip from her drink.

“Why not?” he asked, his beer bottle clinking as he slammed it into the counter.

“Because Colin, you’ve been my worst bully for years. You can’t just turn around now because you realize your reputation won’t be hurt” Beth was trying her best not to yell but once Colin jumped off the counter, vein appearing in his forehead, she realized the yelling was about to come.

“You don’t get it Beth! I fucking hated myself for liking you. I thought I was broken, that I couldn’t like the skinny cheerleaders that threw themselves at me. That I was into fat girls. I worried I’d never be attracted to anyone and people would judge me for the rest of my life for being attracted to you!” Beth gaped, shocked he even thought this was any argument at all. Calling her fat, hating himself for liking her. Who fucking cares!

“That’s where you’re wrong Colin. If you can’t see me for anything other than my size you have no grounds to stand on for liking me. Being fat isn’t all that I am! I’m fun, loud, happy, pretty, and yes fat. But if you can’t see that then maybe you are broken, but not in the way you think!” Beth yelled back, anger bubbling to the surface. She wanted to hit him, just like Steve did. Yet she knew it wouldn’t solve anything for her.

“I don’t know what to do Beth” he suddenly said so quietly she tried not to feel bad for him. He was confused, confused about why he didn’t like things most people liked. That he was different from normal. It was probably similar to how someone came to terms with being gay when being told it was wrong their whole life.

“I can’t fix it for you Colin, but I suggest you start liking people based on who they are and not what they look like. I ended up with Steve because he got to know me without someone asking him too, and that makes all the difference” Beth now at the mention of Steve instantly wanted to be comforted by him so she started for the kitchen door, absolutely no interest in hearing what he had to say.

“Hey what took so long?” Robin panted, giddy from dancing and drinking. Good thing they already figured to call Nancy for a ride home.

“Got stuck talking” Beth said, nuzzling into Steve’s side who just grinned. Beth wasn’t one to initiate intimacy so he wrapped his arms around her, guaranteeing she wouldn’t scurry off.

“Everything okay” he asked ducking down and whispering into her ear. Her free hand curled around his neck as she went to whisper back.

“It is now” she told him, suggesting that being close to him made it better. Then for the first time she pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, chest pushing against his own. She felt goosebumps rise under her hand on the back of his neck and it made her heart flutter to think she could give him goosebumps. All this time she thought no one would ever like her, see for themselves how great she was, and now she was giving Steve Harrington goosebumps.

“Ugh get a room” Robin groaned and Beth pulled back from Steve as she giggled, him still hunched over to keep his head near her own.

“I think Robin has had enough to drink” Steve said as he spun Beth around, pressing her back against his front and chin falling onto her shoulder.

“Actually I don’t think I’ve had enough, maybe one more and I won’t think about vomiting watching you two make out” she said and Beth laughed loudly, the sound causing Steve to pull her in tighter.

“She’s drunk, she’s normally team us making out” Steve said to Beth as if Robin wasn’t standing in front of them, swaying from the alcohol.

“She’s just jealous because she wants someone to make out with” Beth whispered back and Steve pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck, half drunk and caught up in the taste of her. Beth felt the kiss all the way to her core and unintentionally pressed her ass further back into Steve. It was like her body knew how to react to his touched despite never being touched like that.

“Careful baby” Steve warned, his voice breathless. Beth turned crimson red as she realized what she had just done, the blush heating all the way to her ears.

“Alright, I’m done dancing” Robin said once she realized what was happening and rushed away. Steve kept Beth in front of him, careful not to let her move.

“You look surprised” Steve muttered, trying his best not to scare her but he was drunk and she was just so damn beautiful he couldn’t help it. Most of the night he spent fighting with himself to not look at the cleavage spilling over her white top.

“I just didn’t think I was capable of turning anyone on” Beth whispered and Steve let out a deep chuckle, closing his eyes and counting to three.

“Well Beth you are very capable, so just please don’t move” he said breathily, eyes closing shut as he pressed his forehead to her shoulder, trying to calm himself down. Beth found herself briefly wondering what Steve looked like all fucked out, probably pretty, like always. She had never had any interest before but the mix of alcohol and attractive guy stuck to her made her think differently.

“Sorry, but I have to kiss you right now” and against his wishes she turned, her front now pressed against him as she grabbed his face and pressed a slow and sweet kiss to his lips. Steve moaned lightly into her mouth and she realized now that if she was to lose Steve she would absolutely never recover.

“Alright we’re leaving, call Nancy” he muttered against her lips and Beth laughed as she kissed him again.

“So I can’t come over?” she teased and Steve groaned.

“Beth, I’m serious. It’s only been two weeks and I don’t need you seeing how badly I’m into you” Steve said and Beth sighed, sealing his lips with another kiss before another to his cheek, neck, and throat.

“Fine we’ll call Nancy” she told him and he still had his eyes shut, probably trying to remember all of the presidents and she just shook her head.

“The kids are watching please stop!” Beth turned to see Eddie was holding his hands over Dustin and Mike’s eyes. She giggled before shaking her head.

“We’re done, promise. Boys get ready to go” Beth instructed and Eddie removed his hands as they moved to obey.

“Looks like you need a cold shower Harrington!” Eddie called out and the boys both made grossed out faced as they collected their things and moved to join the group.

“Looks like you just need a shower Munson” and the boys laughed including Eddie who still wasn’t entirely sure about the Harrington boy.

“You’re probably right Steve, have a good night kiddos” he told them and Beth found Robin as they moved to the door, Steve going to call Nancy who thankfully wasn’t too far away.

“I’d say our first party was a success” Robin told Beth, her arm locked within her own, ready to have a sleepover, and pick on Alan during breakfast the next morning.

“Me too, it was more fun than I thought”

Taglist: @kindablackenedsuperhero @rinarecommends @starryeyedpoet17 @crustless-toast @loverofmarsss @alexa-33 @bethanysnow @middle-of-the-earth @princessadriana4-blog @mochminnie @legendaryhumandiplomatgoop @a-lil-bit-nuts @i-came-as-bostonian @krazyk99 @thunderstomp-and-tequila @cumslutforaemond @futuristicbirdtraveler @unholyhuntress

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

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thembolaura2 · 3 months

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Babel is a book that came highly recommend to me from people I trust, and honestly I can see why. On it's surface, it should've been something I was really into - a book about anti-imperialism set against the backdrop of the Opium Wars while also being about etymology and the inherent imperfections of translating between two languages. Hell it even quotes Frantz Fanon at one point.

And yet.

I've been thinking about it a lot recently, and I think I've come to some conclusions of the things about it that really rubbed me the wrong way - major spoilers for the whole book follow.

Fundamentally, it comes down to one word: class. I think RF Kuang has a massive blindspot around class and classism, and it seeped through in this book in a way that I found quite aggravating.

I'll start by saying that the only working class characters that I can remember are Professor Lovell's housekeeper Mrs Piper, and the northern strikers. And kind of Griffin.

Mrs Piper is basically shown as a stereotypical loving, kindly housekeeper. She's Scottish and makes scones for Robin! That's...about all there is to her character, aside from one particular thing that sticks out to me - there's a bit early on where Robin gets beaten by Lovell for hyperfocusing and missing the start of his lesson, and Mrs Piper gets judged (not by Robin mind, by the book) for not acknowledging anything was wrong:

Some other child suited to better, kinder treatment might have realised that such nonchalance on the part of adults like Mrs Piper [...] to a badly bruised eleven-year-old was frightfully wrong

Now ignoring that this is a book set in 1830s Britain where this would have been a common occurrance anyway (yes it still would've been wrong back then but given the cultural context I don't think there were many other children "suited to a better, kinder treatment"), what grates me about this is that there's absolutely no interrogation of why she might not want to speak out about it. Her job is as a housekeeper. Presumably she is reliant on this job to survive. If she spoke out about this, chances are she'd both lose this job and potentially any future housekeeping jobs. And like, it's not a huge thing, but it's an early sign that the approach to class is at best, lacking.

So then we come to the northern strikers. First introduced as a rowdy, scary crowd - fine, it's from Robin's perspective and he's had a very bourgeois, sheltered upbringing after being picked up by Professor Lovell. They come back later, now on Robin's side, to act as. Uh. A barricade. Only one of them, Abel Goodfellow (lol) is the only one who gets any particuar characterisation, the rest are just a faceless crowd of people who the book doesn't seem to have any real interest in. The only reason they exist is to give the Oxford students and professors an extra layer of protection so none of the actual characters are in any sort of risk for a few chapters.[1]

Which brings me to one of my biggest issues. This whole book has been leading up to this "revolution" - but the revolution is a bunch of academics hiding in the big Colonialism Tower, while a bunch of proles are the ones who actually put themselves at risk. They are basically treated as cannon fodder to protect the brave academics, but then end up getting cold feet when it seems like they might be in some actual danger.

What the fuck.

What puts an even bigger point on this is knowing, throughout the entire book, that RF Kuang herself went to Oxford and pulled from her experiences. While this makes her exploration of the racism in the upper echelons of British society very real and is a legitimately good critique, it also makes the way she approaches the working class in this book feel extremely patronising - made worse by my recent discovery of just how bourgeois the rest of her background is (she went to a Greenhill School where each year costs upwards of $30k, Georgetown University which has a dispropotionately high ratio of students from wealthy families, studied at both Oxbrige unis, and finally an Ivy League uni in Yale.)

And I get it, I'm white, that is absolutely a privilege I have that she does not. I would never deny that, and I never want to talk over people who have experienced racism. But also, class-based oppression is very fucking real. So to have a literal Oxbridge scholar write a book decrying British imperialism and colonialism, criticising Oxford for being a racist driver of these things, while simultaneously glorifying the glamourous aspects of the institution [2] and just glossing over the intensity of classism in British society is, quite frankly, fucking galling.

Oh also, if you want me to be sympathetic to a character, maybe don't make them the fucking prince to another empire??? Utterly bizarre choice.

[1] As an aside, this section is another good example of her blindness towards class:

Despite all expectations, Abel's supporters grew in number over the following days. The workmen strikers were better at getting the message out than any of Robin's pamphlets. They spoke the same lanugage, after all. The British could identify with Abel in a way they could not with foreign-born translators.

The implication I get from this is that because they're foreign academics, those stupid, racist proles ignored them, but like. There is a long, storied history of solidarity across racial lines among the British working classes - admittedly my knowledge of this history doesn't go back as far as when this would have been taking place, but either way, the fact it's not mentioned that the British working class would see them primarily as Oxford toffs just seems like such a weird thing to skip over.

[2] Honestly my issue with all the anachronistic things like the oysters isn't that it's anachonistic but that it comes across as bragging about all the special things she got to experience at Oxford

#babel an arcane history #babel rf kuang #rf kuang #classism #colonialism

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 1 year

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Light In This World | Ch.1

Waking on satin pillows and Egyptian cotton sheets is a dream many would love to never wake up from. To snuggle in irrefutable warmth and softness as you slowly awake to take in your surroundings. The blossom breeze streamed in from the open balcony, the gold detailing in the ceiling, and the canopy curtains hanging from the top. The light tinkling of the mini record within a music box replays in alarm. You have awoken to find you are no longer in your bed, let alone on the Earth you’ve become familiar with.

“You have awoken.” A young woman speaks, confidently outmatching your own, behind the shroud of the curtain. The curtain sways only emphasizing the statue-like woman who stands in a small space from the foot of the bed.

“I-i have? Where am I?”

You sat up resisting the urge to sink back into the mattress that cradled you minutes before. Your heartbeat quickened as your conscious thought sought to answer your questions. Kidnapped? Adopted? Hit by some wealthy person who hoped to keep this silent? The possibilities were endless, frightening as they were real. How many people awaken in a building with the architecture they cannot pinpoint, in such lavish conditions.

As if sensing your growing fear the woman pulled back the curtain slowly; treating you like the scared creature you were. She offered a small smile as she slowly reached her palm out to you.

“You are in a world far from your own and…there’s a lot you have to learn.”

Deep down it was a given that this was the beginning of a journey and that taking her hand was the equivalent of clicking the start in an adventure game. Nonetheless, you grabbed her freckled hand intertwining your fingers as she pulled you into the world beyond.

______________________________________________________________

“So you mean to tell me…that I’ve been summoned to this other world…for the slim possibility that I can be your prophesied light?”

“Correct.”

“And for my first act you want me to dip my hand in a molten rock–?”

“Yes.”

“--To reveal if I’m your fated ‘light’?”

“Yes.”

“Ah okay well I think I’ll see myself out now then.”

“Not possible.”

Sure enough, when you tried to open the door it refused to budge. You turned from the door slinking toward the window of the private space, letting your head rest upon it as you gaze at the world beyond. It was full of life. Treetops disappearing within the clouds, creatures resembling dinosaurs ridden by people—it was a visible truth that this was not your world. Yet you were expected to save it.

“I don’t want to. I just want to go home! Why should I risk losing my hand if I’m not who you want?!”

The young woman, who introduced herself to be Brie, sighed exasperatedly continuing to chip away at the angelic appearance you originally had for her. Makes you wonder how many other people she’s had this conversation with.

“Look. If it doesn’t work out we have plenty of medical staff more than capable of healing you before we send you back.”

“That’s not the point! Shouldn’t I have a choice about whether or not I want to loose my hand for my kidnappers?”

Brie shrugged, “Probably but they won’t let you…not if therethe chance of being their precious savior.”

“...they?”

She turned to her beverage, hurriedly sipping up the last in her chalice as you heard the door click unlocked. In a short time, you were surrounded by people dressed in simple white robes each bowing towards you and Brie as they guided you out of the room.

“Oh ‘Light’ it’s an honor to watch you be crowned!”

“I hope you look kindly upon me ‘Light’!”

“Your so soft my ‘Light’!”

Taking you through the castle you had been looking out from, swallowing your protests with praise and empty affirmations. Pulling you along, they danced along the lines of gentle and forceful, smiling happily as they followed Brie down into the lower levels of the castle. You tried to take in as many details of the castle as you could but it all seemed to blur together; except for one. It was a door in the deeper levels lit up by the ominous glow of two torches, scratches and red handprints decorated its wooden finish. You assumed the ones guarding it were knights considering their obsidian-black armor and the swords that adorned their figures. Before you could look anymore you were brought to another level this one requiring Brie to use a key to unlock the iron three meter-high door.

Within the room were various glowing objects–vases, plants, gauntlets, necklaces but what stands out the most was the magma-looking cube in the center of the room. In no time at all the people in white held you down, outstretching your hand as they slowly pushed your hand toward the cube.

“No! No! Wait, please!”

“It’s alright Light! Just need to check!”

“It’ll be fine just wait.”

“Yeah it’ll all be fine just. Stay, still!”

Flailing as hard as you could you let your eyes fall towards Brie, watching from the sidelines before turning her head away. You opened your mouth to call for her only for your hand to be enveloped by an intensely cold feeling. Fighting against your instinct to pull away the people in white held you steady watching as your hand disappeared within the cube. You closed your eyes refusing to watch your hand be melted away, even though all you could register was a biting cold.

Finally, the group released you watching as you curled into yourself cradling your hand to your chest. The room was silent as Brie hurriedly rushed to your side to maneuver you so she could see your afflicted hand.

“It's…them. They are the Light!?” She guffawed looking up at the group who all had their mouths open in disbelief. At her call you let yourself open your eyes worried you’d see the horror of your melted hand.

“I-i’m okay?”

You asked, more to yourself than anyone but Brie still nodded and held your hand rubbing the chunky bangle that appeared on your fourth finger. Leaning into her as you sat up you both stared intensely at the glittering gold, trying to decipher the inscription made with miniature diamonds.

“W-what does that say? What language is that? I don’t–”

“Its the capital language of Rowana…it says (Y/n) (L/n) is the Light of the world.”

The group around you erupted into a fit of cheers, filling the echoing chamber with the sounds of joy. Even amidst their smiling faces you couldn’t help but let your sights fall on Brie who ran her finger over your hand as she looked at the inscription.

“Well (Y/n) you’ve made it this far let’s hope you can handle the rest.”

#yandere story #yandere original work #yandere original characters #yandere original character #yandere world #Yandere Light of This World #yandere x reader #yandere x you #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yanderexrea #yandere #yanderes #yandere harem

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diffidentphantom · 7 months

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The One That Got Away

(Jermone Valeska x F!Wayne Reader)

Part I

Summary: You, the reader are the older sister of Bruce Wayne. And have been best friends with Jerome Valeska, since you first met each other at Haly's Circus during your youth. Due to being a Wayne, he was the first 'real' friend you ever had. But then one day, the friendship between the both of you changed. And you were sent overseas for your safety by your father. You haven't been back in Gotham since. But once you hear of your parent's murder, you know it's time to return and face your past once and for all.

Characters: Y/N as MC, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Selena Kyle, Harvey Bullock, Jim Gordon, Dr. Leslie Thompkins, Jerome Valeska

Warnings: Angst, Possessiveness, Obsessive behavior, Stalking, Murder, Mentions of Child Abuse,

The first time you had ever visited the circus, it was on your eleventh birthday.

And unknowingly at the time, it was that specific event that ended up changing your life forever. It can be argued that it changed your life a bit for the better as well as for the worst. It was the day you met your very first TRUE friend, Jerome Valeska.

Being a member of the prestigious Wayne family, you were expected to mingle with your peers. A.K.A other children of Gotham's wealthiest; i.e, members of the 1%, celebrities, people involved in the law - along with the shadier parts of it. You had made some friendships with some of these children, but none of them were true friends. Where nothing was expected in return for the other's company and allegiance.

But Jerome...due to being born to a woman who worked in the circus, he had nothing to give other than his friendship and loyalty. And because you helped him get out of a situation that involved his angry Uncle Zach. He became your very first REAL friend.

The two of you become inseparable. One of you always running after the other.

The adults in your life found it endearing, and grateful. That after all this time, you had a friend like Jerome. So, your parents, being who they are - opened their arms and home to him. Whenever the circus was in town. After all, to those who cared to look - it was obvious, that Jerome wasn't treated very kindly by the people who took care of him.

By the two of you were fourteen, something in your friendship with Jerome had changed. Maybe it was because the two of you didn't spend as much time together anymore? Or maybe perhaps it was because you were an older sister now, with a nine-year-old brother? And he was jealous of Bruce and the close sibling relationship the two of you had? (One that infinitely much better than the one he shared with his own twin.)

Whatever the case, Jerome no longer acted the same around you. He became like an entirely different person. As if his entire personality was hanging on by a thread, and that he was just waiting for one bad day. To push him over the edge.

And then it happened.

He took things to far between the two of you. Confessed his feelings - which didn't bother you, since you realized, you had begun to have a crush on him yourself. Admitted to stalking you days before, he let you know he was back in town. Killed your pet cat and threatened to harm you or your brother. Jerome became unhinged and dangerous to be around.

It devastated not only you, but your parents as well. Who thought of Jerome as another son. (So much so, that he had his own dedicated bedroom in the manor at that point.) But because he went off the deep end, your parents were worried about the safety of both your brothers and your own wellbeing. And with a heavy heart, they had to make a tough decision.

After Haly's circus left Gotham that year to stick to their regular route, you also left. Your parents had decided to send you overseas to their family villa in Switzerland, for your own protection and safety. From one person who you thought you could trust.

It would be the last time you would see your parents, and your brother for many years to come.

Word Count: 587

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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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hello! I hope you are having a good day :) I just read your blog piece about tharntype, thank you for writing it! I want to offer a few complicating thoughts, as a queer person myself:

-in the twittersphere, I actually know a lot of other queer people (and, specifically, queer men) who like tharntype in a kink way. as in, the parts that make it "problematic" are the parts that are hot. so this "reading" of TT (lol) sees it as erotic art intended to arouse, rather than offer "representation" or change the public's mind in some way. so from this perspective, the target audience is anyone who finds the erotic story enjoyable, rather than say, random 14 year olds who need to be convinced gay people are human.

-more on the above: gay people aren't unproblematic. like, we do engage in all the things that you said were problematic stereotypes included in tharntype. many gay men are homophobic in the exact way type is, before they admit it to themselves. that's a whole genre of gay porn, because it's such a common part of the gay experience that it enters sexual fantasy frequently! gay people call each other slurs all the time, too (not saying it's right for anyone to be spoken to like type did, I'm just saying, for a lot of us there's a lot of humor and love there when it's spoken kindly). many gay men ARE promiscuous (not all, obviously, but many) and the way in which they are is shaped by their gayness, and while straight world might think that's bad, other gay people might not see it as such. and I very much get how that's very inconvenient when one is trying to argue that gay people aren't sex perverts (so we can have rights) but sometimes what ends up happening is that people who ARE sex perverts (I mean this in a positive way) get told that their lives don't matter, or that even depicting them in fiction "makes you all look bad." it's the usual assimilation problem :/

-I really really really recommend diary of tootsies for a show by gay people for gay and straight people. it's one of my all-time favorite gay dramas, and it might elaborate more on what I'm saying above. it's a gay comedy that's actually executed well.

-it's actually not true that yaoi has only ever been dominated by cishet women! I love this website for more info on how men and nonbinary people have been involved in yaoi historically https://www.fujoshi.info/ . totally true that treating real people like dolls is gross to do in real life, but I don't think women writing yaoi have done that, on the whole, and I certainly don't think the existence of yaoi does that automatically. and I think it's a case of unfair maligning of asian women to say that it does.

-I don't think tharntype is a "good" show. nothing like, say, moonlight chicken (as an example of a show that I think is very good). it's very poorly executed in places. it's trashy. the way it's been marketed, with tharn and type as like, political gay rep, is bizarre. but it's a cheap, trashy snack, a gay bodice ripper type of story, and so I don't think that's a hate crime, or a failing of lgbt people, on the whole.

I know as an ally it is always difficult when there is disagreement in the group you are trying to be an ally to regarding what is acceptable/offensive, but I feel the best thing to do is always to come to a personal opinion oneself that aligns with one's own moral values, after hearing from differing perspectives within that group. So I've provided my own perspective here, which may be totally different than other people you've heard from or your own, and that's okay too! again, hope you have a great day and thanks for your time :)

ANONYMOUS, COME 'ERE FOR A HUG, YOU! THANK YOU for sharing your perspective.

Yes, this show and the related topics are unbelievably difficult for me to write on as an ally. I really appreciate your understanding of the gray areas all around this, and with the help of a number of Tumblr friends, I tried to dive into and balance as much of the gray areas of the topic of TT as much as possible.

I really appreciate the further history on yaoi's origins, and would like to tag some folks to take a look and offer their thoughts -- and, I do not take corrections personally AT ALL, I LOVE LOVE the learning and constructive criticism (that's a major point of the OGMMTVC!), so I WILL be happy to edit any corrections into my posts if need be (cc @nieves-de-sugui, @miscellar, @lurkingshan and anyone else who knows more about yaoi than I do).

I'm getting one or two nasty comments here and there, but by and large, the feedback today on the post has been thought-provoking and eye-opening. I love hearing and reading all of it.

#thanks for the ask!#tharntype

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auromelt · 8 months

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thoughts on if suzaki somehow got adopted by oya????

i see him more as a suzuran guy i don’t actually think he’d fit into oya well unless he was having a Real Serious mental breakdown and they were the ones to help him out of it lol. i can see him being friends with at least fujio though and he knows that if anything happens to him at senomon he’ll have a safe place at oya

i have headcanons though 😭

oya!suzaki:

first he and amagai are Done in this scenario. they’ve split, it’s over. suzaki hates the way they went out, but what can he really do? where will he ever be wanted and needed again?

oya heard about it from their silly little intel guy and it’s just not right. no matter how they individually feel about senomon’s guard dog, he doesn’t deserve to be thrown out with the trash, not after everything he did for amagai. it’s this that drives fujio to extending a hand out for him.

did i mention suzaki would look hot as fuck in black? anyways.

a lot of the oya guys are probably pretty mistrustful of him. i mean, as expected, he did play an active role in abducting and almost killing their #2. i like to imagine fujio would trust him and prompt the others to treat him nicely which nobody really takes kindly to. it’s because of this that fujio might be the only person he’s willing to speak to properly. things do improve with time of course

strangely, of all people, tsukasa is quite fond of him. he’ll make conversation with suzaki too but suzaki is soooo awkward with him because of the aforementioned kidnapping thing

we saw in the movie that suzaki is Strong, like a one-man army, 3-on-1 kinda strong. having him definitely elevates oya’s fighting prowess. he’s a lot like the hope hill guys in the sense that from a very young age he’s had to learn to fight for himself and win a place away from the bottom to survive. without having to protect a useless crybaby, his full potential is unlocked and he essentially displaces fujio at the top. i mean did we watch the same movie? he took on todoroki and odajima at the same time and still had the ability to go against fujio and probably would’ve won if the power of friendship was on his side… or if amagai’s irritating ass didn’t wake the dead

he doesn’t replace fujio as the leader. his experiences with senomon and amagai have built immense loyalty within himself and this loyalty has projected onto fujio now. at his core, suzaki is built to serve and protect. he’ll protect fujio with all he has because fujio was kind to him when no one else was. he helps in defending fujio’s place, never steps beyond that

he doesn’t officially join any factions, he has a hard time with people and everyone’s still kinda scared of him. he mostly works alone and corresponds with fujio. still, despite not having anything to defend but himself, he’s always at the beck and call of tsukasa faction

speaking of todoroki he and suzaki do Not get along. their personalities just clash horribly but rather than conflict, the two just ignore each other unless they need to work together. i think they’d probably have some level of respect for each other and honestly they’re probably more alike than they believe themselves.

suzaki would look so good in black

hm… he’s also strangely nice to jamuo. jamuo is terrified of him but i think suzaki would find him quite interesting. he was never much of an intel guy, that was saboten’s job in senomon and he sucked at it, only ever really able to force information out through beating people up. he’ll absolutely defend jamuo from the people who like picking on him

when amagai actually does find out what suzaki’s been up to, he’s furious of course. but he doesn’t have his guard dog anymore and he’s just stuck with the absolutely useless senomon high students. amagai would absolutely feel like oya stole what’s his, even if he was the one to throw suzaki out in the first place. against what is probably smart, amagai goes directly to oya to find suzaki and confront him and take him back because suzaki was supposed to be a stray dog he wasn’t supposed to move on. amagai can’t stand that.

when he reaches oya, i think yasukiyo would be the ones to greet him 🤔 with a punch to the face. tsukasa handles amagai’s intrusion, telling him to get out before they show him what they do to intruders on their home turf. amagai demands to see suzaki but suzaki won't see him, hiding away within earshot. amagai calls him a coward and tells him it’s not over and that he’ll get back at suzaki somehow. i think oya would probably have their big realisation of what suzaki’s been through at that moment, listening to the way amagai speaks to him and threatens him, seeing the genuine sickness and fear on suzaki’s expression. suddenly, the guard dog looks more like an abandoned puppy.

he does come out as amagai leaves, telling him to leave oya alone. the people standing close to him can see the unbreakable suzaki ryo shake, can see how scared he is, but he defends fujio against the person who scarred him anyways

after that he gets along better with oya, they realise that despite their past, despite everything, suzaki’s loyalty rests with them

you know what? i said i didn’t see the vision so idk how i wrote this much and now i’ve low key kinda convinced myself? 😭 anyways i hope this is satisfactory!

#🦙 anons #high & low #high&low #suzaki ryo #high & low the worst x #high&low the worst x #oya high

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firstyok · 1 year

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- My School President End Notes -

So, I've finally finished watching My School President, after a ton of push from my friends, and here I am! It was a wonderfully sweet, adorable and innocent high school BL show, which stole my heart and made me emotional in too many ways.

In this review, I'll address a few of the best things that I enjoyed the most regarding MSP. So, stay tuned for what's coming ahead!

1. Musicality of the Show

I've never seen a BL show with so many amazing Osts, and musicality stuffed inside it. When I started out with the first episode, I was freaking hooked to the intro, like it was so good. Then the other songs which were introduced later in the show, or which then band has sung, over all I adore and cherish each and every song and composition the show has brought it. There were happy songs, romantic ones, and even realistic ones.

But the best part was how they've had also introduced the funky dancing numbers as well. As a huge music lover, I enjoyed every bit of soaking into the dance and music of the show. The actors did an immaculate job at portraying marvelous skills through their singing and dancing skills, and I just simply loved it all. Music has to be the major theme of the show, over all - because it certainly caught my entire attention just from this aspect.

2. Messages on Following your Dreams

Another strong message that I've felt through out the show was how they've consistently emphasised on the beauty, yearning and struggles of following what one truly loves. What makes the concept more appealing that they've successfully portrayed the realistic harsh side that drags you down from moving ahead. I was utterly heartbroken when Chinzilla didn't win the Hot Wave awards, because personally I've been a massive fan of their music. But once, that part portrayed how life is not always fair, and you'd always have someone who is better than you in every competition in your life, and that part hit hard.

When Gun auditioned for another music show recommended by Tinn, he was disappointed again because he wasn't the best one out there, which is always relatable. Even if we do our best, it is guaranteed that world will treat us kindly. But what matters the most is keep going, polishing your skills and passion, and doing it for the love of it - that is one thing that will fruitfullly keep you motivated on your journey. The constant feeling of giving up, the repetitive defeat of the band members felt too emotional for me, because I could feel it on such a deep level - that was a freaking realistic truth from such an innocently adorable high school BL show.

3. Innocence in Love

My School President has become the quintessence of the first childhood love. The most delicate and sweetest kind of love that blooms between two kids for the first time in their life and the portrayal of this wonderful thing has been successfully executed in the entire show. The confession scene of TinnGun was literally my favourite out of all confesion scenes, maybe because the quick and realistic approach of it. The way Tinn just hinted it out casually when Gun asked, and how even Gun somehow understood exactly what he meant.

The whole interaction was subtle and yet so deep, which actually happens in real life. That's what attracted me the most. I loved how TinnGun represented the purest form of love, without physical vulgarity or lust - it was simply two people wholeheartedly in love. Love is unconditional, love is about seeing the other person happy, and TinnGun have manifested this kind of love effortlessly through their charismatic performance, and I absolutely cherish it.

4. SoundWin

C'mon, I had to mention them because they flourished a new kind of interest in me throughout the show. For me, they were the most appealing part of the show - I was always looking out for more of their chemistry and interactions. I think SoundWin had the best kind of love story development I've seen so far - realistically speaking. When these two first were introduced to one another, has anyone of us thought they're gonna be a thing? Well, not for me. They two had the most casual and realistic romantic development that I absolutely loved.

Their love wasn't based on first sight or physical attraction, but as they proceeded on getting to know one another, getting to share personal stories with one another, they fell. Honestly, their chemistry is extremely sizzling, prove me wrong. Like their bandmates say, even when they bicker, chemistry is overflowing and I totally agree with that. It was so satisfying to see how Win silently cares for Sound when he had wrist pain, or how Sound constantly looks out for Win especially he's feeling broken, especially after the Hot Wave. I just am being fan of cute bickering couples, so automatically SoundWin just effortlessly pulled me in.

5. Packed with Supportive Characters

The show has the perfect combination of the best supporting characters ever, whether it is about the positive parenthood from the parents of TinnGun, or about the genuine friendship that is emphasised among the band teammates. I've immensely enjoyed how genuine, well-wishing people are around this entire show. It depicts how there are actually kind people around who are willing to have your backs and always end you whenever you're feeling down. My favourite supportive characters has to be Tiw, and TinnGun's parents. Tiw has been the best boy throughout the series, with innate helpfulness along with multitasking to help out others - Tiw is a marvelous character.

He has always got Tinn's back - it doesn't matter if he has to be a MV director, tutor, promoter or even a dancing coach, he is ready for all of it, if it helps his friends. On the other hand, the parents of the show displayed the ideal parenthood that must be looked up to. The fact that despite being of different mindsets, both TinnGun's parents had the welfare and happiness of their children in their minds all the time. They never forced their children, but tried to understand them and encourage them who they are and what they love. I hope more parents start achieving this standard, because this united efforts makes the world a much better place.

My School President is a charming cute BL show, that has stole my heart with it's wonderful characters, shared passion for dreams and most importantly the positivity that it portrayed. It surely has be the most green-flag BL I've ever watched. From the healthy handling of conflicts to the sweet pure interactions between two high-schoolers - this BL is another unique addition to chain of the most beautiful BL shows ever made.

#my school president #geminifourth #gemini #fourth nattawat #mark pakin #soundwin #my school President SoundWin #bl drama #bl actors #bl review #my school president review #firstyok reviews #firstyok

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favfics13 · 30 days

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Seventeen SMAU Recommendations

I Like You by @taeyegu

Summary — “i like you so much, i want to give you my everything, only for you…” (i like you, cho jung seok)

GAME DAY by @escapewriter

Summary: jeonghan was successful in getting you out of bed on a tuesday afternoon. what you thought was going to be a simple lunch that he would pay for, was actually a trick to make you finally go see him and the rest of your friends play their first game of the season. of course, the universe always messes with you so here you were at the nurses office with jeonghan’s teammate, treating your hurt ankle.

Iris Beauty ❀ by @wonunuu

Synopsis: you and mina have been best friends for as long as you remember. after your parents passed from a horrible car accident, mina's parents kindly took you in, tending and caring for you as their own. at such a young age, you have learned the meaning of debt as this is your constant feeling towards your best friend and her parents. to compensate, you have showed them undoubtable loyalty, respect, love and kindness, just as they have showed you; you do everything they tell you without question. so when your best friend asks you to pretend to be her in meeting a guy she has been talking to online, your loyalty and trust are tested when you unintentionally develop feelings for him.

AH! LOVE by @horangboosadan

Synopsis: by accident, you get added to a group chat where people are trying to find out whether jeonghan is in a relationship. five times they see you together and speculate, none the wiser you're in the group chat or whether you are dating or just really good friends.

Death By A Thousand Cuts by @ssssssssssssscoups

Synopsis: y/n loves books. she loves the way they make her feel any emotion, to get lost within the pages and words that suffocates her heart. jeonghan loves performing, loves the way his voice makes the public go wild. if they fall in love, will they fall out?

Pillow Talk by @goingneo

Yoon Jeonghan || in which the evil twins are truly evil... by @lololololchips

Synopsis: in which the evil twins are truly evil, or in other words in which joshua is truly evil when he decides it's a good idea to follow jeonghan around to "expose" his relationship, but things go the wrong way real quick

You Were Beautiful by @viastro

Summary: A modernized cinderella au in which you and joshua meet through your love for boba popsicles, but end up living out your very own complicated, mess filled, cinderella story.

Tom And Jerry by @leewonkyeom

Starstruck! by @cupidhaos

Summary: a university student and a renowned popstar encounter each other by chance one night. she thought that would be the last time they see each other, but fate had other plans

Little Secret by @haosvteen

Summary: joshua’s life was as ordinary as can be expected for an idol. that is until a girl drops her hat and he texts her only to discover she’s a fan…and he’s her bias. he likes talking to someone who doesn’t know he’s an idol, but he needs to keep it that way. she can’t find out he is actually joshua hong from seventeen.

Love Hard by @wondernus

Synopsis: kwon soonyoung loves too hard and falls in love too quickly, accidentally building a (very false!!!) fuckboy image that he can’t seem to get rid of. when his friends talk him out of proposing to a girl he went on 2 dates with, he finally realizes he has a big problem with love. signing up to appear on his university’s most popular youtube talk show to unload his baggage and fix his image? what could possibly go wrong?

Domino by @horangboosadan

Synopsis: A literature student with a procrastination problem and a dancing major who always says yes makes for an interesting combo of neither getting things done. It doesn’t help that there’s a best friend in the mix certain that the two will fall in love and makes sure they spend time together, only the two of them. Somehow, every deadline is still met. Even the amount of time expected before the start of a developing crush.

The Roomie by @zo-byeol

Summary: kwon soonyoung and his friends need a roommate. (y/n) just got evicted. It sounds simple enough, but really, is anything ever simple?

Retrouvailles ❦ by @wonunuu

Summary: happiness? are reunions always happy though? when you are reunited with someone you want to see the least, does it make you happy?

Bittersweet by @networkluvs

Synopsis: in which y/n and wonwoo are forced to share an apartment in secret.

To My Youth by @viastro

Synopsis: in a world where everyone finds out who loves them within a 10 meter radius through the app love alarm, confessing your feelings without the use of the app is no longer considered normal. however, you refuse to download it in hopes that you’ll be able to fall in love without being dependent on love alarm.

Clueless by @hanniedream

GAM3 BO1 by @horangboosadan

Synopsis: wonwoo tries his best to talk his noisy neighbor into being a little quieter. it just doesn't go exactly how he expected it.

My Melody by @networkluvs

Synopsis: in which you become the muse of the overly cocky rising rockstar on campus, kim mingyu.

I Just See You by @svtskneecaps

Summary: When an artist begins to frequent the café you do murals for, you know your life is going to get interesting. What you don’t know is that he’s also your favorite online artist. Shenanigans ensue.

Lie Again by @escapewriter

Summary: a world in which various types of the soulmate system apply, you just so happen to have one that is completely stupid; being able to hear what your soulmate thinks of. however, when your soulmate hums a certain tune, you cant seem to get it out of your head.

Two Minus One by @twogyuu

Synopsis: What’s a better way to find love in the modern day than through dating apps? Eight months after his breakup with his long-time girlfriend, Vernon is finally ready for the dating scene once more - or so he thought. Finding the new game of love more challenging than he remembered, he reaches out to you, Chan’s best friend and legendary wing woman, for help.

PANG! by @kkumawrites

Summary: You'd consider yourself a simple college student, a freshman who just wants to survive their first year - but things get complicated when you're suddenly falling for someone you definitely shouldn't be, especially since he has a girlfriend already.

Play It Again by @svtskneecaps

Summary: Every day is Friday, again and again. Time resets with the sunrise, leaving you stranded in a single day, over, and over, and over. Good thing you’re not alone.

Shit Show by @gamerwoo

💬🗯️💭 THOUGHTS ??? by @itadorins

one shot smau’s about svt being horrifically down abysmal in chronological order

Seventeen College Au Masterlist by @seventeen-teen-teen-trash

SVT Hospital by @taeyegu

WANTED : NEW ROOMMATE by @suhnshinehaos

Synopsis : when yn’s exchange student roommates leave, they are left with the unfortunate task of finding a new place to stay. lucky for them, a room just opened up at apartment 5c, complete with the most interesting group of people they could ever hope to meet.

REDAMANCY by @escapewriter

Summary: your best friend was lucky enough to have two boys pining after her. you on the other hand were unlucky enough to be in love with one of them.

Radio Star by @got-svt

Summary: when yn accepts a job at her campus’ radio station her first year in uni, she didn’t expect she’d be anonymously singing stressed out university students to sleep. now, a year and a half in, she didn’t expect that there’d be people trying to figure out her identity either.

Network Love + Without you by @cherrycheolliesc

summary: back from europe trip with a devastating heartbreak, yn tries to go through her junior year of uni with as little drama as possible, but still somehow ends up at the center of it every time.

Keep it Fruity by @cupidhaos

Summary: what other way to spend your summer but on an orange farm surrounded by cute boys?

Newsflash! + Move by @cupidhaos

Summary: university life can be hard when you get caught up with the SVT boys

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