#whovians scare me

[zeep-xanflorp]

peter capaldi looks more like rick sanchez than rick sanchez

[lokittystuckinatree]

My Thoschei privileges need to be revoked for my mental health

I haven’t even finished NuWhu, let alone seen Classic or acquired the audio dramas or novels…

And yet…Thoschei is haunting me to madness Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe style.

I cannot escape

[topxmenfan]

Just learned that doctorcest is an actual ao3 tag, I think I’ve had enough internet today

[theo-the-door]

What the first DW 60th special meant to me, a 19yo trans guy

I'm going to begin by first giving some context for things because I owe so much of who I am as a person and my plans for the future to Doctor Who. I grew up in England so naturally was exposed to Doctor who at a young age but wasn't allowed to watch it at first since my parents considered me to be too young, which was fair, they do aim to scare kids a lot which I think is great.

My first proper introduction to Doctor Who was through my year 5 teacher at school. I was very lucky to have year 5 align with the 50th anniversary since my year 5 teacher was a massive whovian. Our tables in the classroom we're labelled as different Doctor Who villains (I was on the Sontaran table). My wonderful wonderful teacher was also incredibly creative, and so we had a Doctor Who week at school and made lots of cool complex Doctor Who themed creations, including a lifesize dalek out of cardboard and gumstrip. It was awesome.

That week and that teacher got me into Doctor Who and from there I began devouring as much Doctor Who content as I could, including Doctor Who confidential. Doctor Who Confidential combined with the special features on the Harry Potter movies were the starting point to where I am now as a film student at university with the aims to be a professional actor (with far flung hopes of maybe one day being in doctor who).

Now to anyone who has been on the internet for the past couple years and has seen what JK Rowling has been doing with her place on it, you will see a point of contention there with Harry Potter and my earlier stated fact of being a trans man. Harry Potter was a big piece of my childhood but all of that has been taken away and Doctor Who has remained as somewhere that is mostly safe for me to turn to.

I say mostly due to the fact that the show, and in a more overt scene from its spin off, Torchwood, has from time to time made jest of trans people, however this was a reflection of the time in which those episodes were made, and at this stage I am used to media with trans people as the butt of the joke.

The long and short of it is that Doctor Who was a major part of my childhood, and has lead directly to where I am today as a film student. I have friends that I wouldn't have if it were not for our shared love of the show, even my first boyfriend was someone I first connected with through talking about Doctor Who.

I am now no longer a child, but not far from having been one, and the 60th anniversary has been something that I have been looking forward to greatly. When I saw that Yasmin Finney had been cast in the show for the 60th anniversary I was over the moon, but I never expected for the show to address her character being trans, especially as an integral part of the plot.

One of my favourite moments was the discussion between Donna and Sylvia about Rose in the kitchen. It was so real and accurate and well handled. I'm personally not in the same position as Rose with the acceptance from her family, but this has given me hope that things may change, that my parents will maybe start to actually deal with me being trans, and maybe even accept it.

This episode brought all of the classical style and flair and fun of Doctor Who, and addressed and celebrated something that is so integral to who I am as a person, I've been screaming about it to any and all of my friends who will listen.

This episode means so much to me because it celebrates transgender identities on an incredibly popular show, in an episode that is going to be one of the most viewed episodes of the show.

Thank you Doctor Who. Thank you for giving me hope.

[c0ffee-crypt1d]

It is truly wild being both a fan of Doctor who and Cult of the lamb rn

Cause like, it is truly wild being both a fan of Doctor who and Cult of the lamb rn.

Like... this is "my" husband were talking about!

^ this is what whovian me is meant to be scared of?

[super-predictable98]

The Galaxies of Gallifrey

Chapter 1: The Toymaker Trick

Word Count: 1,8 k

Warning: Mention of death, SPOILERS FOR THE GIGGLE

a/n: Hey there! So because I didn't have enough unfinished series... here's another one. I hope all the whovians can enjoy this canon x OC thing I'm working on. There's a lot more to come for this one, but before chapter 2 comes expect a Casanova request XD

2008 - Somewhere in space

"Gallifrey Gale McShane... can I have this dance?" The Doctor extended his hand and she took it. 

"What was that song from the future? Oh! I got it," she pressed a button on her phone and Mitski started playing. 

The two of them embraced each other sweetly, swaying gently around the TARDIS control room. 

"You know I... I... you know," he mumbled, still not quite ready to say the words he felt in his hearts.

"I know, and I do too," Gallifrey whispered. 

"Good, then we're in agreement. I wouldn't be the man I am today without you, our lives have been intertwined forever now." 

She nodded and rested her head on his chest, singing the lyrics for him quietly:

"Moon, tell me if I could send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do, could it shine down here with you? Cause my love is mine, all mine. I love mine, mine, mine. Nothing in the world belongs to me, but my love mine, all mine, all mine."

"I like that. Mine all mine all mine..." The Doctor repeated softly. "Are you scared? Of dying?"

"I think you might be more scared of me dying than I am." 

"That's true, I never wanted to- get attached because humans come and go, you get old and you start losing your memories, yourselves... then you die. And I'm left here, life after life after life."

"But with me you're taking the risk? You're accepting this pain?" 

"I'd do it all over again if it meant I'd get this time with you. Even if it would only last a day, a week, a month... You're worth it. The pain of losing you one day is not greater than the pain of never having you at all." 

His brown eyes were shining with sadness but also hope. Loving someone is like ripping your heart out of your chest and accepting someone else can choose what happens to it. 

"To answer your question, I am not that scared of dying. I hope it feels like when you're a child and fall asleep on the couch after school so your mum carries you to bed and you wake up there. I hope Death is like a gentle old friend." Gallifrey explained. "She'll take my hand and guide me to you." 

"To me?" 

"You know, Doctor, I also need to cope with losing you several times. I know you'll regenerate over and over right in front of me and there's nothing I can do. And even though I will always love you no matter who you become, this is my Doctor. You, Ten. You're the Doctor I wanted to spend my life with." 

"I see... I'm so sorry, Gal." 

"Don't be, I dream that when I die, my handsome Ten will take my hand and we'll run to our home near the beach. Our two dogs will be waiting and we can just be us, no more regeneration or dangerous adventures, just us." 

"Is that what you think heaven is like? Sitting on a porch with me?" The Doctor frowned. "I wish I could give you what you want, I wish there was someone else who could do what I do. I'd stay as the tenth Doctor for you for a million years even if I go completely mad having to stay in one place for the rest of my life."

"I know, but I don't resent you. I know the Doctor's job is to travel around the universe protecting everyone. And I'll be your companion until I can no longer do my job." 

*

2023: UNIT Headquarters in London

"Shooting ducks... who is next?" The Toymaker pointed the galvanic beam at each of the ladies. "The companion, the soldier, the scientist, the orphan... the wife," he smirked at Gallifrey.

"Your fight is with me!" The Doctor shouted, enraged by the idea of losing anyone else. "And you owe me! One more ga-"

Before he could finish, the Toymaker struck him with the beam right in the chest. 

"DOCTOR!" Gallifrey cried. "No! I'm not ready, I'm not ready! I don't wanna say goodbye to my Doctor!"

"I played the first game with one Doctor, I played the second game with this Doctor, therefore your own rules have decreed. I play the third game with the next Doctor!" The Toymaker announced. 

Without thinking of any consequence, Gallifrey ran to her husband's side. "Kill me, make me into a puppet, I don't care! This is the last time I'm seeing the man I fell in love with!" 

Donna and Melanie followed, they didn't want him to die alone, even if it wasn't really a death. 

"I'm so sorry, Gal..." The Doctor looked at his wife with a pained expression as she held his hand. "This isn't dying, but I know how much it'll hurt you. I know you always say it doesn't matter, but please still love me even if I'm insanely ugly." 

"You can never be ugly, Doc, not to me," she sobbed, trying to take in every detail of his face. 

"I'll miss the way you look at me when I'm like this." 

"Don't worry about me, I love all your faces. I love all of you," she assured. "Fingers crossed you come ginger this time." 

"It's time, here we go again," the Doctor gave her one last kiss from the lips she adored so much. "Allons-y."

But then... instead of regenerating, he just stood there, feeling rather strange and a little foolish. Gallifrey looked at Donna, who shrugged, just as confused. 

"Doc, what's going on?" Gallifrey cried.

"Could you... pull?" He asked. 

"Could we what?" Donna looked at him with a disgusted grimace.

"Just pull, pull from each side, all of you. It feels different this time." 

Melanie and Donna did as he asked, pulling his left arm while Gallifrey did the same with the right. At first, it seemed like a stupid effort, but then the unimaginable happened.

The Doctor divided himself into two. The man that sprouted from her husband was tall, had dark skin and short hair, the most beautiful smile. 

"What?" Donna and Gallifrey murmured almost in unison.

"What?" The Toymaker winced. 

"No way..." Fifteen pulled his other arm out and for a moment they shared their bottom half. 

"You're me," Fourteen gasped. 

"No, I'm me. I think I'm really really me," Fifteen smiled. "I'm completely me! Now don't just stand there, push!" 

When the two Doctors separated, they ran into each other's arms and hugged like brothers. 

"What is happening?" Gallifrey stared at them in disbelief.

"Bigeneration! I've bigenerated, Gal!" Fifteen took her in his arms and spun her around. "There's no such thing, it's supposed to be a myth, but look at me! What do you think, my beautiful?" 

"I think you look gorgeous!" She admitted, placing her hand on his chest while his hands explored her as much as they could in front of such a big audience.

"Hey! That's my wife you're fondling!" Fourteen yelped. 

"She's also my wife," Fifteen smirked before stealing a kiss. 

"Aw my sweetheart is jealous!" Gallifrey took Fourteen's hand. "Don't worry, there's enough of me to go around." 

"He comes in a range of colors then?" Donna chuckled.

"Right! Have you ever been black before?" Gallifrey asked. 

"No, not that I remember... how exciting!" Fifteen grinned. 

"If I can interrupt," the Toymaker called. "Behold the game of the Time Lords, a dummy who dies and doubles and dies and doubles... I could play this for a hundred years. I'd have vast meadows of Doctors dying over and over again and never get bored because-" 

"I challenge you to a game!" Both Doctors said. 

That was the trouble, there was still a game to be won to save the world. But with two against one it had to be easier, right? 

Gallifrey could barely watch as the Doctors played catch against the Toymaker, the little ball flying from one hand to the other and always on the verge of falling. Until it did, it fell when the Toymaker couldn't catch it. 

"As my prize I want you to be banished from existence," Fourteen asked before running into his wife's arms.

"You two are brilliant!" Gallifrey beamed with excitement. "But there's one thing you're forgetting, Fifteen also deserves a prize. And I think I know exactly what it could be." 

She walked up to him and whispered in his ear to which he flashed her a smile. 

"You, my love, are a genius!" Fifteen ran into the TARDIS and pulled a toy mallet from underneath one of the floorboards. 

"What are you doing?" Fourteen asked as they all came out into the garage. "It's not a sexy prize, is it? I don't think I can deal..." 

"What if the Toymaker's domain is still lingering? Just for a few seconds while we're in a state of play? Everybody stand back! Wish me luck." 

"What for?" 

"Heeeere's my prize..." Fifteen hit the side of the TARDIS with the mallet and another TARDIS appeared right beside the first. 

"Oh dear," Fourteen breathed. "You know what that means, Gal?" 

"What?" Gallifrey turned to him.

"There's someone who can do what I do," he smiled softly. "I can give you your paradise." 

"Doctor! But- but you always said you'd go mad if you had to settle down." 

"Ah you know how I am, I can always take the TARDIS for a little spin. We can visit anywhere you want, no more dangerous adventures. We can sit on that porch facing the beach and just be us. No more regeneration for a long long time." 

"Are you sure?" 

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life... I've spent so many years fighting all those battles and now I know what for. Let's go say goodbye." 

Inside the new TARDIS it was pretty much like the old one, with the exception of a jukebox in the corner. 

"Come here!" Fifteen hugged Fourteen, then Donna, then Gallifrey. "Look after him, you two... now if you don't mind there's a great big universe calling and I got to get going. So off you go, old man." 

"You're the old man! You're older than me!" Fourteen gasped dramatically. 

"Okay... kid. I love you, get out," he said before starting the controls. 

"Let's go!" Gallifrey took her Doctor's hand and Donna's to get out before they got pulled into another crazy adventure. 

When they left, the TARDIS was already whirring, preparing to take off. 

"I don't suppose I've ever seen this before," the Doctor watched amazed. 

"Where's he going?" Melanie asked.

"Everywhere," the Doctor murmured. "Now where are we going, Gal? California, Hawaii, Australia, the Caribbean?"

"I think I know the perfect place," Gallifrey smiled. 

[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 053 - Pirates and Space Distortions

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 3 Episode 2 - Anomaly

This episode's title is really priming me for the kind of weird shit I've been expecting from this whole Delphic Expanse arc. And I was right, straight into the episode and the Enterprise is experiencing some really strange distortions of space, and is forced to drop out of Warp.

While drifting on Impulse, Enterprise comes across a seemingly empty vessel, and a boarding party is prepared to investigate. Whatever attacked them is left a mystery, until some weapons thieves transport themselves onto Enterprise and start stealing from the cargo bays. These guy's operation seems a lot more streamlined than the various other attempts to steal from enterprise that we've seen in this series, and they actually do get away with a decent amount of the ship's cargo, including the entirity of Enterprise's spare fuel. before being chased off. Luckily, Phlox recognises the Species, apparently Osaarians. Apparently the species don't have a history of piracy, and aren't from the expanse. The captured Osaarian's backstory, about how surviving Expanse slowly hardens you and strips away your moral compass was really interesting, and I hope this is foreshadowing for some difficult decisions the crew might have to make in the future. Also, he mentions that leaving the expanse is a lot more difficult than entering it, apparently the captured Osaarian facial scaring was caused by an attempt to leave.

While chasing down the pirates, the Enterprise finds a really weird ion trail anomaly, but it's quickly discovered to be a metal planet-like space station entirely hidden to all sensors, that the pirates apparently stayed at for eight hours. Apparently, it's where the pirates have been storing their cargo, so most of everything is quickly recovered.

They also find out that the pirates raided a Xindi ship a few weeks back, which results in Archer straigtht up torturing their prisoner, and I know the episode said that the crew would inevitably lose some of their morality to survive in the Expanse, but this felt like too much too quickly for that. Plus with how this whole arc started with a 9/11 allegory... Well I'm just hoping this Delphic Expanse arc ends up being a more deconstructionist social commentary take, instead just endorsing the torture of prisoners of war.

This episode felt fairly standard. Seeing the Expanses' weird physics start to cause issues, but here there were still more of a way to initiate the episode's plot, instead of the anomalies being the plot itself. Also, I'm really hoping Archer's corruption arc that he's clearly going down is handled more subtly from here on out, because I love corruption and redemption arcs, and this genuinely does have the potential to be something great.

[thxta]

I always feel like I'm getting closer and closer to shifting to my Desired Reality, every single day. Either I find new affirmations to say / think during the day or while I'm getting sleepy ( to implement into my subconscious as a subliminal ), or I channel new aspects and information about my DR. I've been wanting to channel what my DR bedroom / home looks like, but I think for that, I'll just try making it in the Sims.

A few new affirmations that I've learned are; "I am grateful that I have shifted", "shifting is easy for me" & "excitement grounds me".

I feel like the last one is genius, because I know a lot of people struggle with suddenly shifting back to their CR, even after they've successfully shifted. They seem to only shift for a few minutes because they got too excited or scared.

so, I have 2 DR's. My main DR is my Whovian / Time Lord DR, and my second is my Harry Potter / Wizarding World / Hogwarts Legacy DR.

I have a feeling that once I start really trying to focus on my Hogwarts DR, I'll suddenly just end up shifting to my Time Lord DR instead, lmfao. It's just… a feeling that I have.

I've also been having a lot of amazing dreams lately. I even had a dream that I shifted to another reality, but it wasn't either of my DR's. It was like an alternate reality of my CR. I even felt the weird spinning symptom, and then tried to ground myself immediately. Weird, how sometimes you can actually feel sensation in dreams, but still know that it's a dream, later on. I have a feeling that that dream was actually preparing me for shifting.

Idk. I just felt like rambling about my shifting journey. Also because Theta is a huge part of it. Every day, I feel myself getting closer to him, and our TARDIS.

It's… so amazing.

♥ ♥

[emo--chanel]

it's finally happened.... doctor who no longer sparks joy for me ☹️

i love the cast, costumes, diversity, queer rep, music, camp, themes & messages, the meta! the elements are great, but as a whole i don't enjoy it. i hate that i don't enjoy it!

with the increased budget i knew the show would be different, which i didn't (and still don't) have a problem with, and approached the prospect with an open mind. after six disney episodes i can now confirm that, while everything looks fantastic, it feels too grand, too polished & superficial, too impersonal at times. it doesn't have that shabby intimate small-scale-epic vibe i fell in love with back in 2006. also, i've noticed that a lot of dialogue culminates in shouting & squealing when it doesn't need to. the quiet poignant moments WORK but those moments are surrounded by so much noise it feels disjointed, the tone feels off.

i'm not one of those "this isn't doctor who! it's not MY doctor who! it's not MY doctor! i'm scared of change & will make it everyone else's problem waaah" people but i can't keep pretending that my time with the doctor hasn't run its course and that i haven't just been going through the motions of an almost two decade habit that i derive no pleasure from anymore. in hindsight i think flux was the last hurrah.

just to be extra clear: these feelings have more to do with me than the show. i don't hate the new series or anyone involved.

my immediate thought during the end credits of space babies was "i don't want to watch the next episode" 😐. the only reason i did was because i felt like i should to give it a chance, still holding on to hope of the return of that spark that i've been trying to convince myself still exists for years now. granted, i did enjoy the devil's chord more than space babies (take me away maestro! 😩) so i am glad i watched it in the end bc there are some delicious nuggets of fun in there. however, this is now officially the first time i was actively aware that i forced myself to watch doctor who out of obligation rather than desire. that ain't right!

fuck. i hate this. but i have to accept that my heart's just not in it anymore and move on. the fact this is happening at a time when the show is probably at its most openly unabashedly progressive kills me.

from what i've seen so far, many whovians are loving it, which is great. and to the newbies i say welcome! i hope you have a wonderful time.

i won't ever stop being a whovian or engaging in fandom of course, and i'm still interested to know where this current arc is going but i dont have the mental or emotional capacity to watch it. i'll live vicariously through this community's beautiful gifsets, analysis, memes & fanfic ❤️

[sublimedestructivevoid]

A question for all my fellow Doctor Who fans out there...

Fellow Whovians, does this scare the shit out of anyone else but me?

Disney Planning to Give Doctor Who a "Hollywood Makeover" According to Report

[inlovewithaspiderguy]

Me, just finished watching “Journey’s end”, emotionally destroyed: *seeks comfort on tumblr*

whovians: *intense screaming cause something is happening*

Me: I’m gonna block the tag until it’s passed… I don’t wanna be spoiled… y’all are scaring me

[lokittystuckinatree]

Doctor Who lore makes the Silmarillion look vague and brief. Over the course of a few months, I learned enough about the world of Tolkien from fan summaries to fool people into thinking I’ve actually read the Silmarillion, soooo. In around the same amount of time, I’ve made it…half way through new who…sooooo

If I’m alive in 15 years maybe I’ll finally know some of the Doctor Who lore as well

[doccywhomst]

I posted 10,954 times in 2021

1040 posts created (9%)

9914 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 9.5 posts.

I added 3,953 tags in 2021

#doctor who - 1582 posts

#classic who - 738 posts

#eighth doctor - 537 posts

#thirteenth doctor - 222 posts

#fifth doctor - 212 posts

#edas - 149 posts

#fourth doctor - 145 posts

#whovian - 134 posts

#twelfth doctor - 122 posts

#tenth doctor - 112 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#there are people who know me and paintings ive made and memories ive created in the minds of others and one day ill be a small patch of dirt

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

real talk, which doctor would you smoke a blunt with? what would even happen if a time lord smoked weed

i remember something from "Alien Bodies" (EDA) about how timelords can't really get drunk (and therefore probably can't get high), but fuck that. let's play in the space for a bit. *drugs, smoking, alcohol cw*

first doctor: he pretends to discourage drugs and alcohol around humans but then goes to other planets and is like "this is the snorgal ham plant and it does unthinkable things to your mind and body" before swallowing it whole

second doctor: he's a chatty drunk and a quiet smoker, he's so chill that you think he might be dead until he randomly says something like "jamie? how many hats do you think i can wear at once???" in a distressed voice

third doctor: he's done literally every single drug you can imagine for scientific purposes. this man has been crossfaded upside down and sideways. jon pertwee was out here lookin like this in the 70's and he had a villa in Ibiza. bitch smokes weed.

fourth doctor: he doesn't even need drugs, my mans is already sky high from the adrenaline rush of one eternal manic episode. he's never been sober in his life. 

fifth doctor: look, i love him, but he'd be a total dad about it. he'd say some dad catchphrase like "no, no, you know me - i stay on my toes, i stay sharp" and then swing a cricket bat and break a priceless vase

sixth doctor: you pass him the blunt and he laughs. "what, that's all? no triglyceride tetrachrolonitrine 5? no Lady's Nightgown? no double helix paper?" he pulls this monstrosity out of his pocket.

seventh doctor: he's so fucking neurotic that you can't even get him to sit down. he tries but then he sees something shiny and goes to investigate. it was a cyberman. he commits some war crimes.

eighth doctor: legally not allowed to have any kind of stimulant or depressant, per Liv's orders. keep him away from the coffee and sweets. he hasn't slept in four months, thirteen days, nine hours, forty-five minutes, seven… eight… nine seconds. yes, he's counting.

shalka doctor: smokes HELLA kush, on god, but you already knew that.

war doctor AND ninth doctor: continues to smoke lethal amounts of weed and drink fruity cocktails to cope with specters of the past. jesus christ, that's his fifth strawberry daiquiri in twelve minutes. someone hide the white rum.

tenth doctor: he has girls' nights with donna where they hotbox venusian saunas and listen to katy perry. don't let the existential dread set in. don't let it set in. let's do some karaoke.

eleventh doctor: 

twelfth doctor: you know, i've seen all of his episodes many times, and for the entire duration of his run, i never saw him stop vaping weed. must be the respiratory bypass. he's always spewing thick clouds and flipping everyone off with both hands. it's an interesting cinematic choice.

thirteenth doctor: her tardis literally looks like the inside of a disco ball and you think she's sober??? well, you'd be right, because she doesn't know how to find a dealer and she's too scared to ask. someone help her. 

please please tell me which one you'd pick, i genuinely want to know. i think that every single Doctor is a disaster and smoking with any of them would result in my immediate demise, but if i had to choose, it would probably be twelve. let's go out blazing.

2133 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 04:47:42 GMT

#4

i love that the doctor started out older and got younger because it enables me to look at these dudes

and say "oh!! babies!"

and then i can look at these folks

and say "those are my unfathomably and terrifyingly ancient, eldritch grandparents" and i'm right both times

2255 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 01:48:35 GMT

#3

Doctor Who: A Summary

3996 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 18:43:38 GMT

#2

can i just say: there's something lovely about the idea of a tardis key.

for most of the show, it was necessary to have one. the tardis needed to be locked like an ordinary police box, and if locked, it was incredibly difficult to get into.

(unless you steal the whole-ass lock, which the sensorites totally did. we like to pretend that it can't happen again.)

anyway: this meant that companions needed to receive keys to the tardis in case of emergencies. thus, the key-giving ceremony began to crop up, and it's very, very soft.

part of the significance of this is that it represents vulnerability. the tardis is an extremely powerful bit of kit and it's the doctor's only home. she's their wife, even, in a roundabout way. plus, the tardis can technically be summoned with the key alone, so you can imagine how important this thing is. in the wrong hands, it can do a lot of damage on many levels.

and here's the real kicker: technically, the key isn't completely necessary anymore, and i really like this. it gives the tardis a new sense of agency. rather than being a pure machine - something to lock and unlock, something without a voice - she opens up to people when she chooses to. the key remains a rite of passage for companions, and it's still an important symbol of vulnerability, but now the tardis gets to make the choice as well.

i have so many feelings about this. i just love my small alien and their enormous sentient dimension wife.

4745 notes • Posted 2021-07-25 17:05:25 GMT

#1

one of my favorite doctor who moments without context:

4853 notes • Posted 2021-11-14 21:55:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[thefloorisbalaclava]

hi lovie how r u? I dunno if u r taking requests, but maybe... I was thinking something where Javier starts to get a little bit cold towards y/n cos he saw horrible things that the narcos, pablo sicarios, did to some woman's relative to some other guys, including to Connie's cat and he's scared as hell they do something to y/n but when he realizes she's so sad and down, peña stars to show little acts of love in secrecy, like a note, one flower, a ring, just I don't know some angst and fluffy sorry for this long ass ask. thank you for your good posts ♡

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of violence, flashbacks, trauma, mentions of sex

A/N: My friend and I have been talking about Javi a lot lately so you sent this at the perfect time! Thanks!

[Javier Peña masterlist]

“Are you coming to see me today?” you asked Javier over the phone. He looked around the office then lowered his voice.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He regretted it almost immediately.

“I haven’t seen you in a week, Javi,” you reminded him. It was becoming plainly obvious that he was trying to avoid you or at least distance himself from you. What had you done wrong?

“I’ve been...busy,” he said. It wasn’t exactly a lie but just a few weeks ago, he had made time to see you almost every day.

“Right,” you sighed. You looked at the bags of groceries you bought to make dinner for you and him tonight. “Whatever.”

Javier sighed loudly. “I’ll call you later. I-” You hung up before he could finish whatever it was he was going to say. He slammed the phone down on the receiver and put his head in his hands. “Fuck,” he whispered.

He knew getting involved with you was a bad idea and not because you weren’t good or anything like that. If anything, you were too good. Fucking perfect. You were his safe haven, his softness, his saving grace. And that was the problem. You saved him but what if he couldn’t save you? He had seen what could happen to you. If anyone wanted to hurt him, you’re the first person they would go after and he couldn’t have that. He experienced firsthand with someone he loved and, God, he couldn’t live through that again. So he had to leave you.

Because he loved you.

You stared at him in awe as he stood in front of you and told you this. Then you scoffed and turned away. It was all you could do to stop yourself from slapping him in his stupid, beautiful face.

“To protect me?” you repeated bitterly. “Just say that you don’t wanna be with me and stop using work as an excuse.”

“I’m not here to argue with you,” he said calmly.

“No, you’re only here to break my heart,” you snapped. “Well...you can go.”

“Okay but-”

“No! Just go...please.” You couldn’t look at him mostly because you were so angry but also because you didn’t want him to see the tears in your eyes. “I’m sure there’s a woman out there who will happily welcome you back into her bed.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he said and finally you whipped around to look at him.

“Fuck you, Javier.” You didn’t care if he saw the tears now. “If you’re being cold and indifferent to try and make this easier...fine. It worked. Get out. I never want to see you again.” You stormed away only to grab the pack of cigarettes he left on your table for when he came over. “Don’t forget these.” You threw the pack, hitting him directly in the face.

He scoffed and picked the cigarettes up then turned to the door. He stopped as if he was going to say something but then you heard the door close behind you and he was gone. Only when he was back in his car did he let his emotions show. His eyes filled with tears and he hit the steering wheel over and over again before putting his head against it. He tried lighting a cigarette but his hands shook so badly that it was impossible. Another burst of anger as he threw his lighter somewhere in his car.

He had to do it. Right? He had to. He couldn’t stand having another one of those dreams about finding Helena only for her to change into you when he got close enough.

There were plenty of nights where he would sit outside your place in his car just to make sure you got home okay. He was dreading the day he saw a man following you inside. He also wondered if you got any of the notes and gifts he left for you. This was the safest thing for now. 

You sighed and rolled your eyes when you found another note from Javier slipped under your door, another little gift for you on the table, and a bottle of your favorite wine. The first time it happened you could only laugh to yourself when you remembered that he still had a key to your place.

As always, you threw everything in the garbage.

Except for the notes. For some reason you couldn’t part with them. Maybe because they smelled like him--that faint smell of his soap mixed with the smell of his cigarettes. Maybe because when you read them you did so in his voice. That goddamn voice of his and how it could change so quickly. Sometimes it was sweet and welcoming with just enough rasp to give him that air of that bad boy type. Other times it was low and growly which was usually reserved for when he was inside you, talking dirty to you, calling you a bad girl but how you were so good for taking him so well.

You closed your eyes and bit your lip at the thought.

“Enough,” you said quietly, walking over to grab that unopened bottle of wine from the top of the trash.

Some nights you felt like you were being watched when you walked home from work but not in a threatening way. If Javier was watching you he kept himself hidden well because you could never find his car when you stopped to look for it.

You touched the necklace you wore as you turned the corner to your apartment and Javier watched. It made him sit up a bit when he noticed you were wearing it. He waited until he was sure you were settled down--he knew you had to ear dinner, shower, then watch a little television before you really got ready for bed.

Then he called.

“Hello.” You answered on the third ring like you always did. He didn’t know what to say. Hey, I’m sorry I was an idiot? Hey, I’ve been watching you come home every night like some creep? “Hello?” He could hear the slight annoyance in your tone.

“I-It’s me. It’s Javi,” he finally said.

“Oh...”

“Don’t hang up!” He added quickly.

“I want my key back,” you said.

“So you’ve been getting them?” he asked.

“Getting what?” You looked down at the necklace then touched it.

“The gifts I’ve been leaving you.” He looked up at your window and could see your silhouette through the curtains.

“I throw them all away,” you lied.

“I don’t blame you.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I miss you.”

You were quiet for a long time--afraid to speak because you knew what would happen if you did. “I miss you too,” you cried, sniffling quietly. Javier’s heart ached. He wanted nothing more than to run up those stairs and into your arms. But as soon as he closed his eyes he could only see you lying there, beaten and bloody, all because he couldn’t leave you alone.

“I’m gonna hold you again one day,” he said. “I promise. We’re both gonna get the fuck outta here...so far away. No one will be able to find us.” His throat tightened as his own tears threatened to spill over. “Look out the window...”

“What?”

“Just look out the window.” He looked up at your window just in time to see you carefully pull the curtains back slightly. “Hey hermosa.”

“Hey handsome,” you said tearfully.

“No llores,” he said although there was a tear rolling down his cheek now. “Please, don’t cry.”

“Promise me you’ll hold me again, you’ll kiss me again, you’ll make love to me again,” you cried.

“I promise. I swear to you.” He looked up and saw that you put your hand against the window so he put his against the car window. “I love you.”

“I love you too...you asshole.” You laughed through your tears and it made him smile.

“Goodnight,” he said quietly, not wanting to let you go.

“Goodnight, Javi.” You hung up and walked away from the window. It would hurt too much to watch him drive away.

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[missdawnandherdusk]

The Serpent Beneath

Draco X Gryffindor!Reader

Request: @daltonacademia Draco x Gryffindor reader and maybe like a faking dating type of situation? I am a sucker for the faking dating trope lmao. Maybe you could even spice it up by making it kind of an inside out version of enemies to lovers when they act lovey-dovey in public but in secret despise each other until they slowly get feelings??

A/n: Okay so this is part one because I’m evil, but part two will be up soon enough. Let me know what you think and I love you guys so much!

“Look, I’d love to go with you but...” I scrambled for an excuse. “But I’m dating someone already,” Yeah, that worked.

Harry wasn’t convinced. “Really?” He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“Yes!” I said a bit too enthusiastically.

“Who?” He demanded.

“Uh,” then I saw him from across the room, coming in right in front of Snape, to his seat beside me. “Malfoy,”

“Malfoy!?” Harry’s eyes bulged. “Are you bloody joking!?”

“Oi, this isn’t your seat Potter,” Draco sulked, pushing past him. “Make a fool of yourself in front of Y/l/n on your own time,”

I gave a tense smile as Snape called the class to order. Slumping in my seat, I glanced nervously over at Draco. What in the world had I just done?

“What’s got Potter so off? You refuse to kiss his feet this morning?” Draco muttered toward the end of class that was filled with glares and offhand comments from Potter all the while.

“I might have told him we’re... dating,”

Draco stiffened beside me, sitting up ramrod straight. His hands clenched into fists as he sat there glaring at the front of the room. All things considered it could have been a worse reaction. He could be yelling or hexing me. Still his stoicism worried me.

As soon as class was dismissed, Draco remained seated, still rigid. His hand came to my wrist with a vice grip and I had no choice but to stay put. I tried to not let my nervousness leak into my facial features. Especially as Harry glanced back at us still sulking. I managed a smile.

When the room was clear, he let go of me and stood, shoving excess parchments and quills off the table.

“Are you absolutely daft!?” He shouted. I shrank back in my chair.

“I panicked okay!?” I bit back. “He asked me to the Yule Ball and chosen one or not I cannot stand him,”

Draco anger flitted to confusion before resting on something neutral.

“Ickle Gryffindor can’t stand Saint Potter?” A devious smirk was playing at his lips. “I thought it came with the territory,”

“Oh, you’re not a picnic either Malfoy,” I snapped. “Bloody Slytherins,”

“And yet you chose me,” He was toying with me now, as a cat cornered a mouse. “Is this admiration I see?”

“It was mistake,” I huffed grabbing my bag and standing. “Do you get off on making me miserable?”

He caught my arm as I went to leave. I shook him off. There was something mischievous in his eyes as he smiled at me. It left an unsettling pit in my stomach.

“Do you not want me to walk me to your next class?” His feigned innocence was a serpent waiting beneath a flower.

“Shove off Malfoy, I already have enough of a mess to fix. I don’t need this from you,”

“Well, the way I see it,” He grabbed his bag walking along side me. “Is that if you can’t stand Potter and the only way you’d think to get out of dating him is to ‘date’ me... and I’d love to see Potter knocked down a few pegs...” His smile curled into something wicked.

I stopped in my tracks and gaped at him.

“I’m not some toy you can fight over! And I don’t like you!” I exclaimed.

“But do you hate me enough that you won’t consider a fake relationship with me over whatever train wreck it would be with Potter?” Draco really scared me sometimes.

I worried my lip with his question and started to walk to my next class. He kept pace with me as we walked. His silence baffled me, allowing me to think clearly for the moment.

“Okay,” I muttered, pausing in an empty hall. “Deal,” 

“Deal?” He seemed skeptical.

“Don’t get me wrong, I loathe you entirely, but... if you can get me out of having to date Potter or constantly turn him down... then deal,”

“Glad to be in business, darling,” Draco drawled, and I had to do everything not to cringe at the pet name. “See you after class?” He leaned in as if to kiss my cheek.

“Buy me dinner first, Malfoy,” I hissed, flinching away. “But... see you after class,” I achieved a small genuine smile.

McGonagall looked down on me as I entered class late and took my seat beside Hermione. 

“Is it true?” She whispered urgently. “Are you dating Malfoy?”

I nodded, not taking my eyes off McGonagall as she lectured. It was uncharacteristic of Hermione that she spoke to me during class. She was normally keenly intent on learning the new material or getting ahead on things we haven’t covered yet. Now all she could do was gape at me before tearing her eyes away to McGonagall.

“How in the world can you date Malfoy?” She hissed as we left class, before freezing, seeing that Draco was waiting in the hall, leaned causally against the opposite wall. He pushed off of it and made his way over to me, offering his hand and glancing to my bag. I raised my eyebrow at him, and he offered a seemingly sincere smile. I passed my bag to him.

“I’ll see you later Hermione,” I smiled tensely.

She eyed us suspiciously but made her way down the hall in the direction of the library where she would spend her free time this afternoon, akin to every other afternoon.

“How was class?” Draco asked, leading me down the halls in a direction of no consequence to me.

“Fine,” I stammered out. “Just McGonagall. Hermione and I are already a few lessons ahead anyway.”

“You favor Transfiguration, then?” He mused, as if he were actually interested.

“Uh... I prefer Astrology, but that’s not really the use of magic is it? Just stories.” I shrugged and smiled. “What about you Malfoy? You’re a Potions protégé, is it your favorite?”

“Uh, yeah,” He didn’t seem too sure. I pointed it out. “Well, I never really thought about it. I have to be good at everything, so why favor one subject over another?”

I glanced up at him, confusion furrowing my brow slightly.

“What?” He demanded, snideness leaking into his tone. It brought me back to reality. 

“How... Slytherin of you,” I noted with a teasing smirk. He rolled his eyes at this.

When we were out of earshot and eyesight of anyone and his demeanor changed fractionally, still giving way to a serpent under a flower. If I wasn’t careful, I would start to marvel at the miracle of the flower and overlook the threat that lurked beneath. His expression became somber and something more akin to what I was used to. A grimace. I missed the false smiles that lit up his eyes.

Flower. Serpent. Right.

“Do you really want to get dinner tonight?” His curt tone pushed me back a fraction.

“Oh... uh.” I wrapped my arms around myself in protection. “Sure?” 

It was a weekday, meaning that we’d have to eat in the Great Hall and my stomach felt uneasy about sitting anywhere near other Slytherins. Fake dating Draco or not, they were malicious to any sort of outsider, especially a Gryffindor who was friends with Saint Potter.

“I’ll pick you up at seven outside your portrait.” He passed my bag back to me now that we were outside the aforementioned portrait.

“Okay,” I barely got out as he swept down the hall and down the stairs. I watched him go, leaning over the railing to see if there was some way to know the difference between the serpent and the flower, and which one was truly the act.

“Fraternizing with a Slytherin,” The Fat Lady scoffed. “You should be ashamed,” I bit my lip, giving the password and the portrait opened begrudgingly.

Should I be ashamed for the situation that I had found myself in? The easy answer was yes. I should. Not only was I fraternizing I was being courting by a Slytherin. Draco Malfoy was an egotistical arrogant bigot who I should avoid at all cost. Not be in a false relationship with. And for such selfish reasons too. I was using Draco, but on the same note, he was using me to get at Harry. We only cared for the other enough for what they could do in our favor.

It was a mess.

I ducked my head and flopped onto a sofa in the Common Room.

“Oi! What the bloody hell are you thinking!?” And there was the lecture I was expecting from Harry, and probably every other student on this campus, and myself. But this was Harry, an equally egotistical arrogant loudmouth, who I loved to hate just as much.

“I’m sorry,” I snapped sarcastically. “I didn’t know that you controlled who I dated or not.” My tone was acidic.

“But Malfoy!? Malfoy!?” Harry demanded. “It’s got to be a joke!” It was.

“Just because I rejected you doesn’t mean you’re allowed to call my relationship with someone else a joke!” I shouted drawing my wand. A small crowd had formed in the Common Room. I didn’t know who they would side with, but the odds weren’t in my favor, that much was sure.

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part 2

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masterlist

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more like this:

gryffindor!reader series

ten things i hate about you

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[whovianwatchingstartrek]

A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 035 - Ghost Hoshi

Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 2 Episode 10 - Vanishing Point

Hoshi and Trip got to do some Indiana Jones stuff in the cold open! I wasn't expecting some archaeology, but I'm down for this! Unfortunately a storm is brewing and any convenient excuse to keep the ground crew down there. Enterprise transports them back during the storm. We've seen a few people have misgivings about using the transporter before now, and I've been waiting for an episode focussing on it.

Of course the crew immediately start scaring her with ghost stories about some guy who got scrambled wrong while testing it. Kind of a dick move on their parts, especially with how she seems uncomfortable with being transported. Phlox says repeatedly that everything is fine with her, at least on a physical level, but later on she starts fading in and out of existence. I liked how it started with people just... subtle not noticing her, and technology not working for her, and leaving you to figure out what's happening before the big reveal of her fading away in the bathroom, and phasing through objects in the gym, then finally completely disappearing from everyone's perception

This episode could be considered low level body horror, and it plays it well. Everyone's acting is on point, especially Archer and Trip at the devastation of thinking they've accidentally killed one of their close friends. Hoshi's actress is on point here too, she portrayed the confusion over what's happening too her in the first half, and the absolute helplessness of her situation in the 2nd half really well. This episode really was a stand out performance wise.

What I want to know is... what on earth is that gym apparatus that trip was using actually supposed to do? He was spinning about all over the place.

Later on the episode also throws in some saboteurs that have infiltrated the ship and setting it to explode, and only Hoshi notices because she's invisible, and the mission begins to try and get noticed by anyone to save the ship.

I loved a lot of the ideas Hoshi comes up with, interfering with the light circuit to get it to flicker in Morse Code was genius, it's just a shame it didn't completely work.

I really liked this episode until the end. I don't like that the whole episode was revealed to just be a weird transporter fever dream. "It's just a dream" is my least favourite trope, by far. This set up was really working for me, and pulling all of it out as "just a dream" never feels like a satisfying ending. I also kinda wish we got the archaeology episode that the cold open promised, but perhaps another time.

Now, I do want to acknowledge that there is an Eighth Doctor Adventures Novel called Vanishing Point, however I'm not going to do my whole Same Title Comparison segment for it, because I'm still reading the series it's part of for the first time, and I don't want to spoil myself, the EDAs are a very arc heavy book series. When I eventually get around to it, if I remember, I'll probably reblog this post with the comparison segment, but that's for future me to do.