#why are these things like 400 dollars why is it so expensive to make a thing that just moves something in a circle.

[loveletterworm]

I miss you...

[tinyspringtrap]

oof its almost christmas again

gonna be real if I get more shit I don’t want and specifically ask not to get instead of the far cheaper things I DO want and ask for this year... I’m gonna be... kinda upset

[sadish-radish]

tax woes

I've been feeling like shit all day because I had my tax appointment this morning, and my tax lady did the thing she does every year - lecture me on how I need to consider making more money because otherwise I won't get social security income or medicare when I'm old. I told her once again that I have "various health issues" that hamper my ability to have a normal job. She was like, "Yes, well, your health issues might flare up when you're older, so you'll need that medicare :)." Oh, of course, why didn't I consider that! Let me just stop having problems so that I can get a well-paying normal job! She always talks to me like she thinks I'm sitting back and putting my feet up and not trying very hard. Unfortunately, my "various health issues" are mostly severe anxiety rather than anything physical, so it's easy to get lost in an awful spiral of telling myself that I'm lazy and bad and not trying hard enough. I was really dreading that she would do this again! I hate having my yearly shaming appointment!! I've been going to her despite this because she has experience dealing with farm taxes (she used to be a small-time farmer herself) and because it was frankly easier than finding someone new. However, I'm not running a farm this year, so next year I should really find a new person...

Also, I had been hoping I'd be getting enough of a return this year to cover the cost of the tax appointment and then some, since I paid quarterlies last year. And I DID get a sizeable return, but also owed several hundred dollars (not sure why, when I'd paid all those quarterlies and they were based on a higher amount of income than I made in the past year?), and as always, the tax appointment cost more than the taxes I owed (over $700!! For the appointment!). So in the end I was out $400+. I just had to get a root canal last week which was VERY expensive and I'll be racking up even more costs on that front when I get the crown soon. Which is all to say, I was really, REALLY hoping for money to be coming in rather than going out. (I am going to be just fine moneywise, btw. This all sucks but I'm not in financial danger.)

Anyway. Feel like shit. Wish I didn't have stupid problems so I could just make some fucking money.

[causenessus]

HELLO!! okay lowkey i feel like we talk more through your inbox than we do in dms so im just gonna start ALWAYS talking here 🙂‍↕️ idk tumblr dms just don't work or something so GOOD AFTERNOON!! I HOPE YOURE GETTING A TON OF REST NESS bc tomorrow... we have to go back... sigh. and i have picture day tomorrow so i probably need to make myself look presentable ykwim?? 😞

but like about that friend i yapped about HIGHKEY SHE IS NOT IT YOURE RIGHT!!!! i think what makes it worse is whenever she thinks theres an issue between her and me and she goes to literally everyone but me about it to try to get other people to validate her?? FUNNIEST THING EVER because usually people side w me too pls 💔 like they'll defend me, and the people usually tell me when she starts yapping about it to them so like... just wondering why she feels the need to tell everyone in the world about what i apparently did wrong ⁉️ live laugh love i suppose... AND IF YOU EVER WANNA HEAR ABOUT STUFF THAT SHES DONE TO ME I LITERALLY HAVE STORIES FOR DAYS

ALSO!!!! IM SO EXCITED IM FINALLY GONNA GET MY DRIVER'S PERMIT AND START DRIVERS ED AAAA like ive been waiting for ages!!!! i had to like save up and stuff so it took a bit CAUSE WHY IS IT LIKE 400 DOLLARS IF YOU DONT TAKE IT THROUGH THE SCHOOL LIKE PLEASE 💔

its been days and the try again playlist is literally the only thing pulling me through... ness im forever grateful for the existence of this playlist‼️try again isnt even finished but like NESS i would marry it if i could i think i think about it even more than love notes omf 😭 i need yn as my therapist NOWWW!!! AND ADDING ONTO THAT, TONICS LOOKS SO AMAZING SO FAR OH MY GOD?? LIKE ALL THE DETAILS AND THE GRAPHIC DESIGN FOR ARTIST PROFILES AND EVERYTHING UGHH IM SO EXCITED

okay another thing, i think i told you about a phone vault before cause like my school was really talking it up... it was the stupid pocket thing on the wall. they're out there calling it a phone vault GOODBYE 😭 anyway ive given up on paying full attention in class and have reverted back to wearing and airpod in class so i can listen to music (the SOLE reason why i have airpods is bc they were a christmas gift i dont have enough money to buy those on my own 🫡)

ANYWAY I HOPE YOURE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY LOVE!! MAKE SURE YOU EAT, DRINK WATER, AND TAKE YOUR MEDS LATER!! <33 ILY

HELLO SAV!! AND PLEASE TALK WHEREVER U WANT!! I WILL RESPOND WHEREVER <3 and omg good luck with picture day!! 😭 literally those pics never turn out good like they PURPOSELY WANT ME TO LOOK BAD they're always like "no no!! push your hair out of your face behind your shoulder so we can really see how much of an egg you look like!!" but i'm wishing you the best of luck and that your picture turns out well 😔

and also HELLO??? I'M SO GLAD EVERYONE TAKES YOUR SIDE BC LIKE,, THAT'S JUST EMBARASSING FOR HER 😭 I HOPE SHE TAKES IT AS A SIGN AND REALIZES LIKE...maybe she's in the wrong...or maybe she should go to you and sort it out with you!! instead of just complaining about it to others!!

AND AA YAY GOOD FOR YOU!! it's def expensive but so so worth it in the end 😭😭 i remember for me (idk if every state does this!!) but i actually did my lessons when i was like 16 1/2 (for many reasons we won't get into 😔) but anyway!! in my state or at least at the drivers ed school i went to if you were that age they'd allow you to do this thing where basically they just threw all the information you'd learn over the course of the week (or however long all the drivers ed courses are) in one night crash course style!! and then u take the permit test at the end of it and then u get ur permit!! and although i felt a little behind everyone else bc i didn't start drivers ed immediately yk i was kind of glad i got it all done in one night!! and like you learn all the info and then IMMEDIATELY take a test on it so it was kind of easy!! but best of luck to u!! i hope it all goes well <3

AND AA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE THE TRY AGAIN PLAYLIST!! i always listen to it in the morning when i'm still waking up and then will switch to the tonics playlist when i'm more awake LMAOO BUT YES!! DW i think now that i've gotten tonics intros out of the way i'm gonna work on try again while trying to outline tonics!!

BUT HELLO THE "PHONE VAULT" BUT BEING THE SHOE HANGER THING?? MAN THAT IS NOT A VAULT 😭 THE WAY SCHOOLS ARE OUT HERE COMING OUT WITH THE CRAZIEST NAMES EVER JUST SO THAT IT LIKE FITS THE AESTHETIC OF THEIR SCHOOL OR WHATEVER IS CRAZY but yes!! i think my wireless earbuds were also a christmas gift or something and then during this one play during high school that was literally the bane of my existence (and also simultaneously the best play i ever did) i NOT ONLY lost my earbuds but i ALSO bit my phone on accident and then broke the screen so like...i sacrificed blood sweat and tears for that play frfr (i also bled all over the set after cutting my finger on accident so i mean it...) so i had to buy myself another pair after that bc my mom was sick of me 😭😭 but they were like an off brand pair and tbh they're better than like samsung buds!! (what i have to use bc i'm not an apple user </3) so honestly it worked out in the end!!

BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AS WELL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH SAV <3 HAVE A LOVELY DAY AND REST LOTS AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

[der-karibisch-heyder]

Caribbean Currency 2

Continuing from the last post I made.

(Pictured: Florentine Guilder from 1341)

So I did a bit more reading around, mostly in the interest of grasping living wages and cost of living in the 17th and 18th centuries. In doing so I came across more in depth information about Dutch currency beyond the Lion Dollar, namely the Guilder.

Guilder, which is the English term for Gulden, which is German and Dutch for just “golden”, an informal term for “gold penny”. It is largely considered interchangeable with the Florin, as the currency was widely used all across the reach of the Holy Roman Empire. Anyway.

A Guilder was essentially worth half a Lion Dollar. Recall earlier, a Lion Dollar is worth between 4 and 5 Shillings in English currency. It takes 20 shillings to make a pound, thus 4 to 5 Lion Dollars to make a pound. Hence, it takes about 10 guilders to make a pound, so a Guilder is roughly equal to 1/10th the value of the pound or English Guinea. This is all noteworthy because the Guilder was the long accepted go-to currency for foreign reserves, likely due to its equal value and standing with the Florin and its widespread use across central Europe.

In reading on all this, I too found the values of ships were often rated in tonnage. Specifically about 20 pounds to the ton. Using some ships in Devil’s Eye for a quick reference...

La Demonia Roja, a massive Manilla Galleon, weighs in at 1000 tons of storage, giving it a massive value of 20,000 pounds.

The Barracuda, a simple schooner, weighs in at a mere 100 tons, giving it the value of 2000 pounds.

The Barracuda’s long standing rival and competitor from their piracy days, the Dutch vessel Diantha, being a converted Fluyt (a ship with a unique design meant to maximize tonnage without taking up too much area), weighs in with 400 tons for a value of 8000 pounds.

The HMS Cavalier, a 6th Rate warship oared frigate captained by an old former friend of Ravyn Hurley’s father, Post-Captain Jack Davenport, weighs in at 300 tons for a value of 6000 pounds.

For comparison’s sake, the annual wage of the First Lord of the Treasury of England was 4000 pounds. It’s a little sad that Ravyn’s pride of a ship is worth less than that, but such is life. Middle class wages were expected to be anywhere between 40 and 75 pounds a year, which is about what would be expected for a merchant trader who owned a ship. Given the costs of a ship and hiring a crew to captain and sail the ship, the loans must be outrageous. Despite that, a ship was a long term investment that often paid for itself several dozen times over several decades of use, which is why piracy for stealing such vessels was a lucrative business to begin with.

Other notable wages and fees of the 17th and 18th centuries include:

Coach rides were 5 pence per mile if you rode inside the coach, and 2 pence per mile if you rode on the outside.

River ferrying was about 3 pence per mile.

A cheap shared bed at an inn would cost you 2 pence a night - but an unfurnished room for rent would only cost 1 shilling a week, so it was actually cheaper to pay by week if you were staying over long term. (Things like this are again, why Ravyn needs Robert around to manage the crew’s finances!)

Servants only made between 2 and 5 pounds a year in earnings, but their estate would pay for their clothing, food, and board, which were the most common and costly expenses of living at the time. A more experienced housemaid could make up to 8 pounds a year, and an exceptional housekeeper could make up to 15 pounds a year.

Lastly, it was generally assumed anyone making 500 pounds or more a year were considered wealthy to some degree or another. I don’t know how far up one must go the wealth ladder to be considered nobility or aristocracy, though.

As for the money the Heyder family pulls in, I’m still working that out. I’m imagining Robert having a fairly large amount of disposable income, but not enough to where he can just liberally throw money at any and every problem he comes across. Otherwise it would start begging some questions. I’ll get back to that later.

[lacomandante]

         I’ve been working on a really big gift for Assumpta that I plan on giving her when I see her, and that’s a USB with almost all of her films and shows from the start of her career to 1995. I’ve spent the last six years hunting down and finding everything that I could of hers, and have probably spent hundreds of dollars collecting rare and out of print DVDs. (Rossini! Rossini! is my crown jewel; that alone was $80. The last copy I saw was from 3 years ago, and was listed at $400- you can’t find it anywhere now). Surprisingly, I’ve found a big chunk of her obscure works on a Russian video website. Not entirely sure why but I’m not complaining whatsoever.

        In general I just like her stuff. Initially it started because I was looking to make edits and take screenshots for icons to use for rping Teresa. And it was incredibly difficult to track down her works. It STILL is sometimes. Her stuff from 1979-1995 is notoriously hard to find, and it really comes down to her works being foreign films and in a time period where things weren’t preserved well. Some films or shows I still haven’t found and likely never will. I search every foreign version of websites like ebay and amazon, or use their countries equivalent. i’ve visited so many shady websites and had to use vpn’s to even look stuff up. I couldn’t believe it when I found Adelaide on Vimeo, as only VHS or Betamax (who tf has a betamax machine anymore?) copies existed, often for $100+. I sent it to her and she was SO excited- she hadn’t seen that film in 30 years, since the premiere in 1991. And I decided I had to find all her works that I could if only to let her watch her own stuff again.

       It made me sad to think so much of her works are inaccessible due to the time in which they were filmed and copies not being preserved that even SHE hasn’t seen many of them. Nowadays you can find quite a few on Amazon Spain (which ofc I can’t access) and some are even being made into Blurays! It’s great progress. But media preservation and access to stuff like this is important to me in general. I got to speak with John Tams, who played Hagman and was one of the co-composers of the Sharpe series, about the music in the films that weren’t included on the official CD. He told me that because of the technology at the time, going from analogue to digital meant that archiving was barely possible or desired because of the amount of space it would take. Those songs now only exist in the films- the rest are completely erased from history and quite frankly it’s devastating to think too hard about it.

        So out of my list, I’ve managed to find about 71 of about ~90 films and shows/episodes of hers. Some I don’t think I’ll ever find. I’m still figuring out the best way to download videos online but I’ve ripped almost all my DVD’s and Blurays of hers, but I still have a ways to go.

        This post was just supposed to be me bitching about how I managed to rip Company and Enemy, but not Rifles and Eagle lmfao. I got a little sidetracked. But yeah I’m worried bc the Sharpe Bluray’s were damn expensive and bc I watched those two films SO much the disc is...a little worn. But I don’t want to completely rebuy the collection so I’m gonna keep trying 😭😭😭

[medicinemane]

Maybe now where I can do a low pile in front of the windows again, well... maybe I can slowly work on giving another pass to the stuff I put away

Actually properly set aside some of the stuff, maybe have the energy and brain power to go through some of the stuff... there's options

...man... just wish I had more money to deal with like getting the stormdoor for the basement access, and a vent to the second floor, and all the rest of that kinda stuff in

See the problem is I... probably have that. I have a reasonable chunk of change in the bank my grandpa left me but like... nowhere near infinite, especially when talking home repairs, and until I can get an income or at least get my dad an income while I work out stuff like soap making, it's also... you know, it's what bills need to be able to come out of too

You know how it is where when you have no income any expense is a lot even if it's a couple dollars cause you can't replenish it?

I'm sure if you've been there you know, and if you haven't I'm glad but... yeah, take my word for it... you really have to do everything you can to shepherd your money when there's no income

I don't know, there's a handful of things that would really make my life solidly good, and they're not that expensive... but also keep in mind no one in my family can get financing, any work done has to come out of the pot, I can't get a loan to do this stuff

Mom's on disability, my dad hasn't had a job in years, and I'm a massive fuck up. Hard to get the bank to want to lend money there, you know?

(And to an extent I'd rather pay up front to avoid another monthly expense)

Anyway, point is positive stuff is happening, but still a lot to go before things are secure (if I could get off propane on to something like a heat pump, propane is literally half the bills, it's like fucking $400-$500 a month even in summer just cause the bill gets split through out the year, and propane is fucking expensive, everyone in town agrees... and this is why I need the central heating to get up to this floor, so I can either get me a heat pump or maybe just maybe the weatherization guys would do it cause they talked about it and just said it wasn't worth it if it didn't heat the whole house)

Also as always, I'm just not so sure that even if I got everything undercontrol and things were truly working and stable... I just don't know that I really like living much even if that was the case

I still feel like the stuff that's most important to me is impossible

But doesn't matter, all that matters is until I know I'm actually going to blow my brains out, that I keep moving forward so things don't stay the same

Getting off propane might not fix me, but it'll at least be better than it is, you know?

Anyway, final thought is when I have a bit more energy I need to call the bosses for these guys and say they did a great job, and then while I'm there I need to ask if there's anyone they get funding from I should write to. Like any representatives I can say "fund this program" to, or any other way I can help make sure more people down the road can do this

[anonymous-venting-space]

Why is life so stupid hard and expensive. I have so many things I need to do, and instead of doing any of them, I do none of them and do other things that don’t matter.

I need to look into buying a car, even though I don’t even have my license yet, but it’s for me and my sister.

I need to look into getting a flea medicine for my cat, because the store bought stuff isn’t working, but I’ve never really taken my cat to the vet so they need a check-up before I can get the more effective medicine.

I need to pass the GED, because I’m homeschooled, but not on speaking terms with my parents, so I really really don’t want to ask them to sign my affidavit to finish my school.

I need to find a doctor, because my stupid parents never took me to a doctor, and I only just got insurance this year, so I need to find one.

I want to legally change my name this year, because I hate it every time I have to see my deadname on my official papers, especially whenever I actually go to a doctor.

And I, of course, still need to go to work (which is at least a very good job) so I can pay for all of the above things.

A car is going to be at least a couple thousand dollars, the flea medicine with check-up is like $240, because there’s two cats, the GED is about $130 just for taking the tests, more of if I want to take practice tests or find a tutor, doctors are doctors, so of course it’s expensive, even with insurance (which I also need to pay for) plus, I’m pretty sure I have a couple preexisting conditions (I have irregular menstrual cycles that affect me strongly mentally, I have sleep problems, I have awful posture that leads to back pain, I had a hole in my heart when I was a kid and I’ve only ever went to a doctor once for it when I was three) and to legally change my name, which probably takes several months, it’s $400 to file then more to get my fingerprints taken, get a background check, replace all of my existing identification cards and what-not.

And instead of doing anything useful toward any of those, I sit around either scrolling the internet, write bad poetry or try to write bad fanfics/original works, work on a cardigan I’ve been making, or work on a stupidly elaborate fandom project, for basically only myself.

And of course, more often than not I do the first one, scrolling tumblr or instagram. At least with the others I can feel slight good about myself, because I’m making something, but no, I do the least productive one all while painfully aware I have so many other things I need to be doing.

[the-firebird69]

This is close to the design of our car very close couple major points that are different but yes this is a 2500 to 3,000 mile an hour car the vent in the front is too high and the hood is too high and the intake on the side is not necessary and makes it howl like how like a storm like the storm you force my son to go through we're right there and nobody would let us say anything much some people are helping things Hera slept through it. She's saying no and you're saying things are okay she's mad but she had to sit through it.. this is a mega car and people don't know it and the reason why they're selling it as a hybrid is it people who know put a new motor in but nobody's buying it and without the new motor it still goes 800 miles an hour and it will go 400 mph electrical only and it'll go $400 on motor alone and our son said it's a great idea and it's our idea and they did take it so they're in trouble and they're not putting out so we have the idea and Raphael and got his wife want to speak about it and they're going to fix the verbage

Salazar and goddess wife

We do like the program we do like where and we like how it's going we like that we're going to spread it out now and with the other car and it says we have to do it a few times then spray them but I do understand that spread them out is what he said this is despicable they're not selling these to practically anyone and it's held by a certain group so we're going to start selling them because it's not discrimination they're doing it right but we can't buy any either and I think they wouldn't even let our sun buy one. He says he can get them too and we do believe him if he had money he could do it if he had money maybe a week from now he could do it and we see why you need to turn around and sell it for like 4 million dollars and we do understand what he's saying he would ask for things and have a lawyer a team of them but really this car is worth the money and people want him to buy one for them and he doesn't care about that how's he supposed to know who they are and it's not illegal to resell your car right away and he can buy 10 of them put him in the driveway in the front of the house. Sell one to Garth someone to the sister. He put them in storage and insure it but really okay I mean what in that case our sun is put in the storage facility he had his stuff in and it's not really stupid they held it there and they did a job and it's ridiculous cuz he can do this in the future and make tons of money and people will be after him and go after the Max and he wants to do that then McDonald's are in the way with her fat asses he says I can sell it to them now put them out of the way and he says that's a great idea they won't sell to me either and it's Papa who owns the company no but used to and so they say it we do understand something you're mad about it you're not going to have any money you're not going to sell any cars you won't have any industry and you won't have any minds and things like that because people you know it's just a huge thing to understand it.

So we're going to put this car out and papa is still around and he's rolling over in his grave saying you're stupid you don't know how business goes and you're supposed to be this rich people and he knows it and you're stupid. So we're thinking of building these because it's so hard for them to get but this is a hybrid and yes this is Rafael and goddess wife and I'm having a word on it because it's a hybrid it's less expensive and he's saying any nailed it about 3 million for the motor version and that would be ours excuse me and about 2.5 million and he blew his nose so he said it 2.5 million for the Middle road motor and if it's tweaked it's like 2.89 people didn't like the hybrid so they didn't pay much and they're stupid because you're supposed to switch the motor you can buy the motor from Ferrari it's a real real winter industry now I mean these people don't understand what they're looking at they thought they had you explain it no they saw it and they built one like it and said people buy this like crazy then they heard what you said to Brad and he likes 400 miles an hour and he's trying to buy a used one and you might find one from a person so they're saying go on and on and you know but it's famous so you get a whole bunch of these guys and the Safari guys who designed them and build them and the guys who own them are Max they can't believe what they're hearing cuz they're they're people don't care about it and they think they're maxed but no not all of them they have pride in the car and I think that Mac won't be shooting at the Ferraris doing it now McDonald's is the one doing it also they start to think of something it sounds stupid and it does so they might open it up to some and see what happens which would help but this car is a 3 million car and ours is worth 3 million but it takes so little to make but really the the parts and things are high performance and it's more like 25 Grand to make but really $3 million dollars is nothing to spit in it the second version motor makes it about 30 grand and we don't tell anybody that for real if scratches and some paint scratch resistant paint and special leather and I mean it's really nice there's not a lot of doodads and people think it's less because of that but you can't sell it for 200 Grand or even a million dollars like this one is top speed out of the box the base motor is 800 miles per hour the second level is 950 mph third level is 1250 mph the prices for the first is around 1.2 million dollars the second one is 1.5 million and the third is 2.3 million that's what we're going to sell them for and it is Vista fresh and we do have a sales office in Europe no one can seem to find it there are a few people who know where it is mac and Ben Arnold will and Bill they all try to buy one and they can't seem to because of the clones and the clones can't get one because of them. So he says it's like our cigars that are from the kju areas and we will sell them on the black market but they'll be legitimate cars with DOT approval and it shows a different name and manufacturer when you go for your registration and that's how we do it and a lot of people want to picture and the pictures we send make it look like the Ferrari and so they think it's a knockoff and the price on it is listed though so this is how it goes you guys have to pull your weight doing that and the clones will try and take over the DOT they're trying to take over your registry it's trying to fight and it's a good one and I'm going to put it in that we should do this I also want to make Ferrari if they can't figure it out and yeah the clones have taken over the sales office

Lot of people traced it they saw used the car they saw the clones and they went after them and they heard that Brad heard about it and they they're ready with Brad and they started tracing them and they found them all over town they're going after them it's kind of hell here

Raphael and Goddess Wife

Now I noticed something it might be my design it's different than his it looks similar but his looks like a regular car it's gull wing doors. So the clones don't sell to anyone and they can't get the car out and they're stupid they should sell the car and go take it but John Cena can't even get one this is the car that the guy is scanned his mind it's a copy of my son's well I have to get one is it and then she says no I said just get me the motor one that's the hybrid and it goes 400 and she says that's way too fast you're stupid yeah it's really too fast so we are thinking about this but he says it's funny cuz it's so slow by comparison LOL

We're going to answer you publish we need this published we need hours to look at it we're asking for you to publish

Olympus

What a fascinating deal and conversation and chain of events it's all coming down we came in and we figured out a bunch of stuff today and a bunch of the reason why things are and everyone's making their own car and these top of the line car people are mad and they wonder if the clones would shoot at these cars and it doesn't matter they're not the ones doing the shooting so they're stupid cuz it's a fat ass in the way it's really weird

Thor Freya

[pointlesswolf3]

Journal #1

Hi, I’m Sneezes

I want to make a journal so I’m going to do that and no one can stop me.

I’m gonna write about what I’m thinking about, which is self care and my thoughts. Why are these things so difficult?

I don’t really have anyone to talk about my thoughts with— well I do, but I don’t want to overwhelm anyone or be annoying or talk to someone who just won’t listen. It’s kind of like, when you’re hungry so you look around your house, and even though there’s food and stuff, you don’t want to eat any of it?

It’s kind of like that at my house. But at my house, I can only really eat the food my dad buys. Mom’s food and the rest of the roommates food are claimed for them, and dad doesn’t really buy much. I know I should just get my own food, I just graduated high school and got a part time job, but the pay isn’t the best and groceries are expensive! How am I supposed to live off 400 dollars a week, and that’s before taxes?

Ah, I shouldn’t complain though. I have it really good, I do. I have friends my age who moved out, some who got kicked out, and some who have to work to feed their family and had to drop out of school. I’m spoiled and I know it.

I get to drive the car my parents drove me in throughout my childhood to work and school every day, I have a roof over my head and internet and a computer. I have no bills and no worries and I live like a kid should, I think?

I just don’t understand why I’m so depressed. It’s so hard to take care of myself— or even begin to care about myself; my auntie says it’s because of my bipolar disorder and my parents say it’s because I’m a hormonal teenage girl. I honestly don’t know, but I am tired of the drama, emotional whiplash… ability to take care of anyone else but myself.

I’ve made a resolve that if I tell myself I can’t do something I will do it. A resolution. It’s hard to stick to it but I also promised my best friend that I would try so I’m going to.

I’m gonna get medicated for the bipolar disorder too. I think that might help.

Okay bye <3

[dominicrarnoblog]

Never Be Told or Sold Anything Less Than Pure 24K Gold

Mahdi Cocci, Actor, Series Regular Tyler Perry “Bruh” Mahdi Cocci wearing the Yincity Gold 24 Karat Gold Slashbox Chain Mahdi tells his story: Now I vividly remember the imagery of Deion Sanders, who created this character / alter ego primetime during college at Florida State. Prime had already signed a contract with the Yankees and had money, while the rest of his teammates were just broke college kids, and primetime represented power, money, and success with his swagger and clothes and Gold chains.

Deion “PRIMETIME” Sanders In his beyond the glory documentary, a line he said always stuck with me when he said. “I had power amongst the team when teammates came to me with issues, problems, needed money, I kept $5,000 on me at all times, and I would break them off.” As a kid that didn’t come from money, and being broke in college, I thought that it was so cool later, as an aspiring actor trying to make ends meet, to get to a point where you’re no longer struggling and start making real money it feels good because you know the journey it took to get here. For many of you in sports entertainment or business, you can relate to the gratification of becoming a series regular etc.. signing your first pro contract or successful launch of your business. It’s normal for anyone, especially in sports and entertainment, when they start achieving success, to start buying some nice things, I know I did. I bet many of you have heard the story 24 Karat Gold is “too soft” for Jewelry I had heard that many times also until my best friend Liam told me, no, that’s not true, overseas in Asia,24 Karat Gold Jewelry is the standard, and I always kept that in mind. As my career progressed and I started making money, I went to see Liam and asked him to help me get a 24 Karat Gold Chain from Asia it just happened that he was considering the idea of starting a company that provided custom handmade 24K Gold Jewelry to the U.S market because it wasn’t available in the U.S. Retail Market. I didn’t know details about the U.S. Gold Jewelry industry except that it was impossible to find 24K Gold Jewelry at any mall, retail, or luxury jewelry store, but now I was getting an education on the subject, and although what I was being told made sense it was still somewhat shocking. I learned the markup on Gold Jewelry was 300%-400% over the price of gold! But Liam told me don’t take my word for it, and go see for myself, he told me to visit all the jewelers in Buckhead and find the style chain that I liked, and he would have it made in 24k Gold. He told me to ask the jewelers questions about the weight, how the jewelry is priced and why they don’t carry 24k Gold Jewelry. My afternoon visiting 10-15 jewelry stores confirmed everything Liam told me. They had every excuse for not giving the weight of Jewelry, including that information being “intellectual property” and no answers for how their jewelry was priced. Most gold jewelry was 10k -14k, and nothing was more than 18k. When I went back to talk to Liam, he explained that overseas in Asia, everyone knows that when you buy Gold Jewelry, it’s like buying actual gold. It's sold by weight, and you are charged a fee for design and labor to turn Pure Gold Bullion into 24k Gold Jewelry. You know exactly how to price the gold and what it’s worth, and it’s the exact opposite here in the U.S they won’t tell you the weight or how the Gold Jewelry is priced. They tell you 24k is too soft for Gold Jewelry and carry nothing above 18k. Besides the insane markup on alloyed gold, what makes it more comical is that in the U.S back 30 years ago, there weren’t many people wearing much gold like Deion, but nowadays, it’s become a very common, almost standard issue for athletes, entertainers those that are successful in making statements with expensive Gold Jewelry, so more people are getting ripped off and throwing money away and not even getting the best product. They are spending top dollar and getting ripped off by paying outrageous markups on alloyed gold chains that are 10k-14k-18k purity. They don’t get the chance to experience 24 Karat Gold Jewelry. The only people benefitting from this are corporations and jewelers. They tell people 24k Gold is too soft, but Billions of people in the Eastern part of the world own 24K Gold if you do some due diligence. Through our conversation, I started to see why it made sense that he wanted to start YINCITYGOLD, and I told him that if he were open to it, I would like to invest and become involved with the company. Liam told me to let’s see how I feel about the product first, and if I love it, then we will work something out, so I told Liam the style I had in mind, and he had it made for me. I’m wearing it right now. It’s handmade solid 24 Karat Gold Jewelry that tests pure to 99.9%. This is the highest purity and quality Gold Jewelry you will find, and the most amazing part is that I paid 40% design and labor markup for the best Gold Jewelry you can find, not 300%.

Mahdi Cocci Wearing Yincity Gold 24K Open Link Gold CHAIN. As great as it looks and feels, if we circle back to Deion “Primetime” at FSU, what I realized appealed to me the most about having $5,000 at all times is the peace of mind that I have it, not that I spent it and this here is better than having $5000 because not only do I know exactly what my gold is worth right now if I were to go sell it, but know that in 5-10 years this chain is going to be worth much more than what I paid for it and that’s not possible when you buy the Gold Jewelry sold by jewelers in the U.S. In the entertainment and sports world, let's be real appearances and image matter. Your hard work finally pays off, and you are rewarded with a big contract, movie, or series. One of the first things many people in sports and entertainment do when they make it and get discretionary money is buy jewelry.

Mahdi Cocci wearing Yincity Gold Pure 24k Gold Jewelry. Gold and Jewelry have symbolized success, wealth, and power in different cultures throughout human history, but what is happening in the U.S. is that you are just paying for an overpriced fashion statement that contains gold. That is just the absolute plain truth. The phrase worth your weight in gold is real, and if Liam didn’t put me on, I would have relied on what a jeweler told me and bought 10k, 14k, or 18k Gold Jewelry priced 300% or more over its gold value. That’s not how it should be. It’s why I am part of YINCITY GOLD and sharing this story with you today because it’s real. I have always enjoyed sharing something great with those that I know. GOLD JEWELRY IS MEANT TO BE AN INVESTMENT, RARE, SPECIAL, don’t let anyone tell you differently. For all of those succeeding in entertainment and business, don’t waste your hard earned money on diluted alloyed Gold Jewelry marked up 300% or more. VISIT YINCITYGOLD.COM and subscribe to get a copy of our U.S. Gold Jewelry Study. Use our Gold Jewelry Markup Calculator and calculate the Value of any Gold Jewelry to FIRST know the value of the Gold you are getting before you consider purchasing any Gold Jewelry. “Never Be Told Or Sold Anything Less Than Pure 24 Gold”

[macronotmarco]

Chapter 9

I save so that I can do and afford the things I want to be able to do and have backup funds in case of an emergency, a vacation, or vet bills (broken dog toes are expensive). A firm needs to pay us because otherwise why would we let them hold it? After all, they're likely using it for something, there has to be gains for both parties.

Right now I personally can't take much risk, I don't have the funds to do so. If I risk it and lose I could not be able to eat or be able to take care of an emergency. The plan in the future is to be able to take risks. In fact my future career will involve a lot of risks. As a glassblower we are working with a volatile material that has the possibility to go really wrong. Right now I am sitting next to a cracked glass brown trout while my partner paces the house calling other glassblowers trying to find information on why this may be happening. Glass has so many variables it relies on to all go right and when something goes wrong in most cases we lose everything put into that piece. This broken piece next to me has about $400 worth of color and time and work and wages put into it. Now it is worthless and we have to make another in the next week because the client has already paid for it as a Christmas present. This is just a piece that we made at someone else's rented studio, we are planning to build our own studio this summer and being such a complex art form that we need so much complex equipment for. If we get everything built and just one piece of equipment breaks down then we can't make any money until we fix it. So, yeah, risk. The return is that when everything goes right we make a ton of money and the way the math works out we would only have to make two and a half pieces a month to break even. And thats just at the current prices, you always keep getting better with glass, there is no ceiling on skill and therefore no ceiling on profit to be made. Just look at Chihuly, he hasn't blown in years and has people he has trained to make his style of work with simple bowls going for thousands of dollars. So in a few years we will have doubled what we can charge for our pieces and still have demand. A ton of risk, but also a ton of return.

I'm currently working on a bookkeeping degree so that I can run that part of our business, not much risk to a bookkeeping degree because even if my relationship with my partner burns to the ground I have that to fall back on. There are bookkeeping jobs everywhere and while I may not make as much as I would glassblowing I would still be able to live comfortably.

I value glassblowing a lot it is an incredibly fun thing to do especially for those of us who love chasing adrenaline. The benefits are worth the risks even with the monetary part removed from the equation. I love doing it even with the risk of physical harm that comes with it. You may get burned working with glass and there are serious lung issues that can come with using specific techniques. My partner had a spike of glass pop off a piece and go right through the middle of his dominant index finger, he has no feeling from the second knuckle to the tip partially from that and partially from the years of nerve damage due to burning it (inside and out).

Its worth it.

[sirfrogsworth]

First, we had FREEDOM fries and FREEDOM toast... because French people can suck it. They know what they did.

But now BIG TECH is censoring EVERYTHING. You can't say a damn thing if you are a conservative in the US. At this point, why even bother posting on social media?

I mean, look at top-performing link posts by U.S. Facebook pages in the last 24 hours...

1. Fox News 2. Ben Shapiro 3. VOA Burmese News 4. Dan Bongino 5. Peachy Sunday 6. Fox News 7. Diabetes Awareness by GreaterGood 8. Ben Shapiro 9. VOA Burmese News 10. Dan Bongino

FACEBOOK IS SILENCING RIGHT WING VOICES! AHHHHHH!

So we need another dose of freedom.

We need...

THE FREEDOM PHONE!

The Freedom Phone is a new business venture started by Eric Finmen—the world's "Youngest Bitcoin Millionaire."

Wasn't he adorkable?

You see, his folks gave him $1000 to invest when he was 12. He bought a bunch of Bitcoin. Naturally. And when he turned 18, it was worth over a million bucks. By 21 he had 2.3 million dollars and was the pride of capitalism.

So obviously that makes him a $BUSINESS GENIUS$

And not *INCREDIBLY LUCKY*

And because he is a business genius, he has decided to start a new chapter of his life as an entrepreneur. Because we definitely don't have enough of those.

His first entrepreneurial BIG BOY IDEA is selling the FREEDOM PHONE.

Let's check out the specs on this bad boy from the actual website.

Large storage, you say? 6 inches of screen??? GREAT CAMERA!!!

Well, with specificity like that, I'm sold.

People get way too caught up in the gigahertz and megapixels anyway. You don't need to know that stuff. He says it is "affordable, yet fast" and I choose to believe him.

I'm sure it is on par with every other $500 phone on the market—all while being made in the good old U.S. of A.

Because you wouldn't call it a *FREEDOM PHONE* if it weren't American-made.

That would be dumb.

"In fact, Freedom Phone appears to be a simple rebranding of a budget phone called the 'Umidigi A9 Pro,' made by the Chinese tech company Umdigi. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Finman confirmed that the Freedom Phone was manufactured by Umdigi, but couldn't say immediately which Umdigi phone it was based on.

The Freedom Phone's $500 price tag would represent a substantial markup on the A9 Pro. The phone is available on Chinese retail giant AliExpress for $120—less than one-quarter of the price of a Freedom Phone."

— The Daily Beast

Oh.

Ummmmmmmmmm...

Is there anyone out there who can put a positive spin on this? Because I'm failing to think of anything at the moment.

EXACTLY! The OS is chockfull of FREEDOM and that's what really matters.

Real AMERICAN developers toiled over the FreedomOS to make sure it was as free as humanly possible. I'm sure this OS is built from the ground up and that extra $400 expense is due to the extensive R&D needed to create this marvel of digital liberty.

SEE! IT'S BASED ON FREE SPEECH!

Annnnd... it is BASED on something called GrapheneOS, apparently.

Okay, so full disclosure.

The FreedomOS developers may have used an already developed Android fork and skinned it to look more... Freedom-y. You saw the cool flag wallpaper, right?

Truthfully, licensing that wallpaper was the bulk of the development cost. They may not have done much beyond aesthetic tweaks.

That is... except for the UNCENSORABLE APP STORE!!

*patriotic fanfare*

*eagle caws in the distance*

*someone is shot in a hunting accident*

This is where that extra $400 of value comes in. No apps will be censored. EVER. You can get your Gab and your Parler and your Gettr. And you never have to worry about those apps being unavailable because Zuckerdumb said NO.

Okay, full disclosure again.

99% of the apps banned in the iPhone and Google Play stores are due to things like malware, viruses, and illegal activity. So for every Parler that goes uncensored—so does the app that looks just like Parler but is titled "Parler Totally the Real One" and is full of viruses ready to steal your banking information. And an app store without restrictions could also end up being a haven for child pornography and illegal drug sales.

But hey... PARLER, AMIRITE?

Soooo... what happens if you don't like this incredible $500 phone worth $120?

Good news! There is a *stellar* return policy.

You get the box. You stare at the box. You DO NOT open the box.

And if that experience is unsatisfying, you can return that box within 30 days.

If you get the box. Cut a hole in that box. Stick your freedom in that box.

Well... hopefully you like it.

In conclusion, it's hard to put a price on freedom.

Sure, this is probably a giant grift.

And this conservative Bitcoin douche doesn't seem to mind grifting his own political brethren.

Because capitalism is his mistress and loyalty is fleeting in the whitest rightest of wings.

But if you want FREEDOM in your smartphone, you should definitely pay this clearly trustworthy bleach blonde, scruffy chinned lottery winner $500 for a cheap Chinese Android phone that will fill up with viruses faster than you can boot up the phone (because it is made with inferior hardware and booting probably takes a while).

[yatsugareboyf]

hii could i request chuuya and dazai with a male reader who has like a dramatic and impulsive personality/type of humour? like he impulsively spends money or makes plans, and talks pretty hyperbolically bc he thinks its pretty funny-

im sorry if this didnt make sense sjsjdjd-

heheheheh this is so funny

chuuya and dazai with a dramatic and impulsive male!s/o

nakahara chuuya

good lord why does he keep attracting these types of people /j

like isnt dazai enough

"ah, chuuya! this is the wrong soda! i said orange not grape! i feel like im getting drunk just looking at it"

"bitchass u said royal how would i know which flavour"

"you shouldve known! ah really chuuya do you even know me? your boyfriend?"

yeah. hes sick of you /j

but really he tries to keep with a lot of your impulsive decisions

like you'll be out on a date and you see someone selling his antique wall clock thats duck themed or whatever and what do u know chuuya's carrying it home

hes happy seeing u happy so most of the time he just allows you to do whatever you wanted to do

sometimes when hes not around u just end up buying so much stuff online that u set to overnight shipping

which chuuya ends up paying for bcs he doesnt let you 😭

LIKE HE WONT LET U WASTE UR MONEY SO HE WASTES HIS IDK MAN

"chuuya~ i have my own money yknow"

"yeah but you're not paying for this... what the fuck is this.. "face mask maker"? yeah you're not wasting your money on this i got it"

"but chuuya its not even that expensive"

"dipshit this is 400 dollars"

but he ends up enjoying your impulsive spends bcs u use it on him

"haha chuuya what if i make a wine face mask"

"you're not using my wine. ok but what if-"

WINE FACE MASKS

idk if chuuya or u would eat it-

one time u bought tons of makeup and he witnessed u going through so many styles of makeup in a week-

like the e-girl make up, the colorful makeup, then the rlly emo makeup then natural makeup

u wanted to try it on him but he refused

"but chuuya you'd look so pretty :(("

"you can be the pretty one, im good"

u did end up applying just eyeliner on him and he's fairly impressed

wont ask u to apply it again bcs hes too shy but u know he wants to have it on everyday

abt ur spontaneous plans, he usually stops u 😭

bcs even if u had time to go, he wouldnt and hed rather be there for u when u do go

so whenever you hear that he has a day off or he isn’t on call you’ve already bought tickets to disneyland!

overall i think hes okay with it as long as you’re happy 

(ill make a side thing abt bsd boys handling homophobia bcs that shit deserves a separate post)

dazai osamu

i think hes just the same as u, but hes more Willing to pull through with your impulsive antics

while getting to know each other, you learn that dazai loves crab, but only eats the canned kind because he cant afford special crab

that made you sad that you bought so much crab and learned a few recipes under a day

now theres 5 different crab dishes and 10 more crabs in the fridge, and dazai isnt even home yet from work

he comes home to 7 different crab dishes and a very exhausted boyfriend

he loved the dishes.

nonetheless he joins u in your very impulsive travel plans because he has a lot of free time

(he doesn't he just ditches work)

poor kunikida calling dazai bcs they need back up and hes like

"sorry, kunikida-kun! i'm in disneyworld!"

"WHAT"

u also worry him a lot w ur hyperbolic vocabulary

"OSAMU I THINK I BROKE MY LEG"

THEN HE APPROACHES U AND HES LIKE

"OH MY GOD ARE U OKAY"

but u just stubbed ur toe 👍

but hes taking it all seriously and like

"we need to get you to yosano"

"wait- NO"

hes more understanding of why u do what u do so he tends to just follow whatever u wanted to do at the time

"i love u so much, more than the size of the.... the pacific ocean"

"my, that's a lot of love"

PLS U THINK DAZAI WOULD KNOW MORE ABT HANDLING MONEY

he can't. no one trusts u two with money.

kunikida even tries to NOT give y'all's checks bcs that one time u bought big ass bean bag and adressed it to the ada-

ranpo uses it now and fights to death with dazai to nap on it

u buy so many things and sometimes u forget to address it to ur home

like- some packages end up at atsushi's dorm

"kyouka-chan?"

"there's a box outside our dorm for you."

"WHY IS IT AT YOUR DORM?"

"i thought you would know."

and dazai' just amused at how u have everyone's address at ur disposal to use

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Valuate Yourselves Fuckers Responding directly to this. Man I remember seeing an artist spend days sculpting and making just the jewelry for a doll. The whole doll was a fuckhuge masterpiece that I even showed non-doll friends because of the craftsmanship. If I had the money, I'd have bought his fullset the day it went up for pre-order -- I still want that doll. $1700 dollars and worth every goddamn red cent because look at it, and I mean really LOOK.

Hello. Do you see the intricate beadwork on that thing? Done by hand. I watched it go down over the course of a week on my instagram feed- I didn't even KNOW this creator before I stumbled over their work in #bjdsales -- you wanna say this shit isn't worth $400 dollars? Buddy, there's $400 dollars in just the goddamn accessories, let alone the materials cost of the whole doll (which is absurdly large!) And time+materials is just scratching the SURFACE of how much to price your work!  (Seriously if anyone got this and changed their mind and doesn't mind an absurdly long layaway I will make you a modestly richer motherfucker.)

I'm gonna be upfront here -- $400 is   n o t h i n g   for professional work. At min wage -- specifically, $7.25/hr -- that is roughly 55 hours of work. That works for some things! Does not work for sculpting a whole-ass intricate sculpture that fuckening moves! Never mind that this is just valuation for time- not experience, certainly not materials, not the cost of casting and shipping and handling the logistics of getting your work from point A to point B -- because even if you've made some dolls, have you handled selling them to a global market? It is a NIGHTMARE and and guess what? Your payment goes into all that work, too. The only reason dolls are as affordable as they are -- and yeah, affordable, I said it -- is because of the number that are sold. If these were one-offs they'd be significantly more expensive to offset the costs incurred with the labor that goes into making them. 

And I'm not wealthy. I'm not rich. I'm not even well-off. I mean, most of us aren't, let's be real, welcome to the 'buying things I can't afford and budgeting to the cent each month because nothing matters anymore' club -- but I'm not saying this from a place of bootstrapped privilege. I can't afford a $400 doll without a layaway, let alone the glorious motherfucker above. Yet despite that, I'm here to say that $400 is hardly outrageous for one of these dolls. Basic pricing structure in most industries -- and it varies, this is an oversimplification, but hear me out- is to price things x3 your investment. Base price is the materials invested, doubled once for your time and effort, and again for what we call overhead, or 'the cost of doing business' -- and those with employees likely go x4 instead to cover their wages. That's not outrageous or excessive, that's literally just sustaining your business to keep creating down the road- and you want to turn to someone trying to make a living outside of the corporate hellscape we call society and say they aren't worth the bare fuckin' minimum? 

Nah. Charge more. Valuate yourselves, fuckers. If you're selling a handcrafted good, you aren't selling the materials. You're selling your knowledge, experience, and craftsmanship, as well as the materials, and the cost of shit like the electricity to run your 3D modeling program or turn on the lights so you can see your worktable. You are worth so much more than minimum wage -- we all are. 

$400 isn't too much for a doll, friend. We just internalize the message that we -- as people -- do not add value to the work we create, and charge accordingly, and why not? When everyone is struggling because no one has been paid enough for literal decades and there's no societal safety net to help anyone out of the fetid wastes of the American Nightmare (hello everyone outside of the US, I deeply envy your access to healthcare) it's easy to feel like asking for more than the bare minimum is selfish. But it's not.

So valuate yourselves, because no one else is gonna do it for you -- and you're worth it.  (And this applies to whatever it is you do, dolls or not.)

~Anonymous

[among-starz]

What the MLQC/MLDD boys use to wash their hair

I don't know why I thought of this, but I did and now it needs to be out for the world to read. If I slander your fav boy, I'm not sorry.

Gavin

-As much as I hate to say it, this man is a 2-in-1 kinda guy.

-My man can't make himself a proper meal, much less clean his hair.

-I'd be inclined to call him a 3-in-1 kinda guy, but he does say in his hair washing ASMR that he can't use body wash on MC's hair, so at least he's got that going for him.

-Once you start dating he'll just use what ever you buy for him, he doesn't care.

-He probably also uses axe body spray . Plz Gavin, buy some cologne.

Victor

-If you're like me, your first thought would probably be that he's got a lavish hair care routine.

-I mean, the man probably buys 400 dollar cologne 20k dollar watches, so he's got money to spare

-but something about the man makes me inclined to think the only thing in his shower is a crusty bottle of 3-in-1.

-I mean everyone's got a weakness, and something tells me our man Victor's weakness is his hair care.

-Yes, i did just say his hair care is worse than Gavin's, no I will not change my mind.

-MC would relentlessly make fun of him.

-Would be very stereotypically Victor about the whole thing "Who cares what I use in my hair, idiot. Go write me a proposal."

-But the next time MC comes over the 3-in-1 would be suspiciously replaced with the most expensive shampoo, conditioner, and body wash he could find on such short notice.

Kiro

-Oh my man has a bomb hair care routine. Savin would drop kick our poor Kiro before he even thought about touching a bottle of 3-in-1

-Good thing he's always had a good hair care routine

-Gotta maintain those golden locks somehow, and separate shampoo and conditioner is a good start. More like the bare minimum.

-And he knows all about what kind of hair products to use and what to avoid.

- You'll never find silicone in our Kiro's shampoo, that's a fact.

-That wouldn't change when he starts dating you, in fact you guys probably have cute hair care/skin care dates together.

Lucien

-I feel like Lucien could go either way, but he definitely knows how to properly care for his hair

-the question is, if he'll actually do it.

-My guy gets, what, 4 hours of sleep a week, there's no way he washes his hair properly.

-The only reason he showers more than once a month is because his peers in school started complaining about the smell.

-Don't get him wrong, he's got all the shit to get his hair all nice and clean (not a 3-in-1 man, sorry Victor you're alone on this one.) he just don't got the time or willpower to do it.

-Once he starts dating you he'll start taking care of himself more, and that includes his hair.