#why is it so sad

[s0ny2k8]

thinking about how evan and barty never met in cr

[tulip-fiction]

Dang it. I was actually doing better about not obsessing over Begins ≠ Youth, but then I was listening to Angel pt. 2 (over and over again on repeat because that’s what I do when I get a song stuck in my head) and the lyrics kept making me think about Cein and Jeha. I didn’t want to write another sad scene inspired by Begins ≠ Youth, but I couldn’t help it. These freaking characters and their tragic stories just won’t let me go.

Fan Fiction

Content warning: Begins ≠ Youth damage, if you know you know, if you don’t, don’t read.

Breaking Beautiful Things - Begins ≠ Youth

Cein placed the last photo into the fire. He watched it all burn away to nothing. It seemed fitting to burn it all here, in the home he had once shared with his mother. He would let it all go. Maybe leaving was exactly what he needed. Maybe his wounds could heal if he stopped picking at this scab.

Cein sat there until the flames had died and the ashes cooled. It was time to say goodbye. Goodbye to this place and all the pain it held for him.

The floor creaked and Cein spun to find Jeha entering. “Hyung, I finally found you.”

Cein turned his back to Jeha. “Leave,” he commanded sternly.

“You wouldn’t answer my calls or messages,” Jeha continued, ignoring Cein’s order.

“Then I will leave,” Cein turned toward the door.

Jeha stepped between Cein and the door. “You would leave without saying goodbye?” Jeha asked, the pain clear in his voice. But Cein would not meet his eyes and just stepped around him.

“Wait!” Jeha pleaded, falling to his knees and resting his forehead against the charred floor in a bow, words flooding from his mouth, “I know you are angry with me. It’s all my fault that you are being transferred. But please,” Jeha begged, “give me a chance fix this. I’ll tell them what really happened.”

“What really happened?” Cein repeated bitterly, spinning to face Jeha. “What really happened Jeha? I hit you. With a brick. That’s what really happened.”

“But it was my fault,” Jeha protested, raising his head to look up at Cein, tears streaming down his cheeks. “It was my fault you were here. My fault Mingook went after you.”

“I hit you Jeha! That blood,” Cein yelled, pointing at the stain they both refused to look at, “that is there because of me!”

“But you didn’t mean to hit me! That was my fault too! Not yours! You were going to hit Mingook, but I got in the way. He thinks I did it to protect him. Thinks I care for him and he’s indebted to me,” Jeha laughed hysterically, tears blurring his vision. “But the joke is on him because I didn’t do it for him, I did it for you Hyung. You’d be in prison right now if you had hit Mingook and I couldn’t let that happen. Not because of me.”

“And you think that somehow makes it better?” Cein snapped, the edge in his voice sharp and resentful. “Am I supposed to be grateful Jeha? How am I supposed to feel knowing you did this to protect me? I’d rather be in prison than have to live knowing that I hurt you. Now I can’t look at you without seeing you crumpled on the floor, bleeding.”

They both stayed motionless, Jeha’s quiet weeping and Cein’s heavy breathing the only sounds in the stillness. “I can still fix this,” Jeha said weakly, staring down at his hands that hadn’t left the floor.

Cein spoke softer, the anger dissolved into pain. “Stop protecting me and focus on protecting yourself.”

Cein turned once more to leave, but a timid hand reached out to feebly grasp his pant leg. “Please, don’t leave me,” Jeha whispered shakily. “I love you Hyung.”

“Don’t love me,” Cein replied coldly, masking the shattering he felt inside. “People that love me break.”

Cein pulled his leg free and took another step toward the door. He couldn’t let Jeha see the tears that had escaped his eyes.

“I need you,” Jeha called desperately, his crying intensifying with panic, but unable to move from where he knelt on the floor.

Cein clenched his fists, fighting the urge to scoop up this broken boy in his arms. To tell him he love him too. But he knew if he allowed himself to do that, he’d never be able to let go. And he had already done enough damage. He had to get Jeha away from him before he ruined someone else.

“You are confusing what you need with what you want. You don’t need me. You need to take care of yourself. You need to study. To make your mother and step father happy. You need to protect yourself from being hurt. By me, Mingook, even yourself. You need to live Jeha.”

“I can’t say goodbye,” Jeha choked.

“I can,” Cein said, telling himself as much as Jeha. “Goodbye Jeha. Take care of yourself. Eat well. Live happily.”

At that, Cein left, without allowing himself one last glance back at his misguided protector. The little brother that wanted to be the hyung. He feared seeing the pain in Jeha’s eyes would risk cracking his resolve and he couldn’t afford to let that happen. He knew he had hurt Jeha just now, but this was a wound he could forgive himself for inflicting.

Cein would never forgive himself for hitting Jeha, intentional or not. And Jeha’s confession had only made Cein hate himself more for being the reason Jeha had put himself in harms way. Cein should have kept Jeha at arms length. He had been a fool for thinking they could be each other’s family.

Cein knew the damage family could do to each other and still he had used Jeha’s love as a bandage for his own wounds. But he wouldn’t be selfish any more. Even if he would never say it out loud, Cein loved Jeha. That was why he'd cut Jeha free before there was no hope of healing from the wounds. He wouldn’t scar Jeha the way his mother had scarred him.

Cein would walk away from this life. From Jeha. He deserved far worse than being alone. Still, Cein could take comfort in the fact that Jeha’s life would be better now. His step father was finally giving Jeha the acceptance he desperately needed, even if he tried to convince himself he didn’t. And Mingook wouldn’t dare to hurt Jeha ever again. Jeha would finally have the family he had given up on. Jeha’s wounds would heal and he would live. That was enough for Cein.

——

Jeha cried until numbness replaced the pain. His face was streaked with black ash where he had wiped away countless tears. His entire body felt heavy with exhaustion. Or maybe it was resolve. Hyung had left. He was gone. And Jeha had no more tears. All that was left was a key Cein had discarded the same way he had Jeha.

[lifeof-pink]

every so often orv will make me sit down and think “idk if i should laugh or cry” and the answer is usually cry

[anotherfanaccount]

I like how I'll cry over a kal ho na ho reel and then go and click on the movie for a snack watch🥲

Did y'all notice I like pain? Apparently I do. Or is it the mood swings? I never know with this stupid uterus.

Also why was Aman always so happy. I want an Aman like Gia had one in her doll house. My angel.

[emergency-boba]

[in-the-sweet-november-rain]

😧😧😧😧😧

[stubz]

spoilers for those who haven’t watched it yet also good luck

some things that broke me in the end of the episode

Suletta immediately calling Miorine a liar gave me the same vibes as when Miorine immediately suspected Prospera of manipulating Suletta. and it makes me sad to realize that Miorine is and is not lying. She wanted Suletta to lose but does care for her, maybe love but we don’t know for sure but I bet she does

Suletta wanting to have an immediate rematch is also heartbreaking cause I can see her 100% down to keep going until she wins or Aerial/she can’t move. Plus if that did happen Guel would become even more traumatized

Suletta basically trying to keep her uniform from changing and placing her hand over her sigil...where her heart is!! and then that desperate and heartbroken look...I can legit see her trying to grab Miorine before she leaves only to crumple into a little ball

And finally Miorine somehow managing to keep a straight face during all of this. i was impressed, disturbed, and sad seeing this. Impressed because that was sad as shit and I could never do that without breaking character. Disturbed because she was freakishly good at concealing her feelings. And sad because I knew that she knew that if she did break that mask then Suletta wouldn’t believe it and refuse to leave.

Also my brain couldn’t help but imagine the minute Miorine turns away or is out of sight she just breaks down. Cause she just completely destroyed her friend/crush’s heart and basically took her sister away from her...also notice how losing Aerial is like the last thing Suletta’s mind right now  

[oliastars]

watched fellow travelers and now my fyp is only skippy and hawk sad edits i cannot escape

[sketchy-potato]

WHAT DID I DO TO DUOLINGO????

[bookishmoonys]

bringing back this one with some fresh new color, happy halloween everyone ://

[callistos-posts]

Me crying while watching TBLT

[bodysntchrs4evr]

Why am I CRYING over Carla dying in Shin’s DF route???????

[twitchingandsalivating]

the old version of nude makes me wanna DIE [very positive]

[togrowoldinv]

I just rewatched endgame and I’ve got fic ideas for Natasha, Wanda, and Peter Parker 😁

Now it’s just a matter of actually writing three fics lol

[a-sad-rat]

EHAT THE FUCK SHE. SHE FUCKINF DIED

[demonicsin]

You ever listen to a song and think, "Ah, i like this, i like the calm vibe" and then after listening to the lyrics you realize it's a song about dying and then it becomes really sad suddenly?

Time to go cry