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sunnysynthsunshine · 6 years

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6th Comedy Monologue

“So folks, that whole Brexit rubbish is finally over isn’t it?”

“I know, some of us could see it coming and Teresa May looks like the spitting image

of the stepmother from Cinderella

how come nobody has noticed that yet?

we all have politicians we don’t like don’t we?

at times like this, I have to remind myself Teresa May is a very well liked woman

but then I remember back in the day Margaret Thatcher was also a very well liked woman

don’t you think she and Teresa may are quite similar?

well this is how she’d treat a political problem

*attempts impersonation*

“what’s that? ok men I did you to do this and then this and then this and this”

whereas Teresa may would handle the situation like…

*attempts impersonation*

what’s this? oh leave it for a few months

but the main thing is they both hate poor people so who cares what they think

I actually sort of understand why people like Jeremy Corbyn but I had written that previous gag back in late June of last year, speaking of outdated gags

Pirates were the communists and socialists of the 17th century

they wanted money, disagreed with colonialism and didn’t care what the government thought of them

like with communists they were accepting and inclusive but they wanted gold

the pirates accepted many on their ship they allowed homosexuality, they allowed women in strong roles there were great times had on the high seas

even with the loot, they got they’d share it evenly what other power was involved with being inclusive with most things except money Oh Yeah! the communists

Yes, Yes we’ll handle it we’ll accept you but give us all your money

communism is a good concept but in the end, people get greedy for the money

like with pirates

we’ll accept you matey but give us some gold

however they didn’t agree about the government, they had their own independent pirate crews and disagreed with colonialism and capitalism

kind of like some of us, I think

we criticize politics, we like to party and we accept most people except colonialists …and capitalists...

Oh well, at least there’s been good music with Marina and the diamonds, Ariana Grande and the 1975

We, humans, love music

which makes me think about bands related to Homosapians

in the 60s we had the Monkees good band good name

and now we have Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz, Rang a Tang and Apes

what about the lesser known homosapian types

Chimpanzees and Baboons

if music existed in Planet of the Apes

the Kate Bush hit Babooshka would be about a

monkey looking for love after getting his heart broken seeing his wife cheat on him with an older mandrill

only to fall in love again with who he’d call his baboonska

Animals are interesting creatures whether they are made of glass, made of 1960s haircuts or made of the first songs of a math rock band

Another good thing about music and animals is that Roger Taylor is going to help us save the bees

Thinking bee! Thinking queen! thinking bee! Thinking queen!

Speaking of which there’s been a whole glam rock/synthpop revival going on

And I love that

although as a kid I watched media from all sorts of different decades

While they watched Jersey Shore and Love Island I was watching Disney and CBBC sitcoms mixed with Japanese cartoons and shows from years before like Jem and the holograms, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the original my little pony series.

I would also watch funnybones, the original noody series from a VHS I “borrowed” from my neighbours, as well as the Muppet show and some classic cinema.

I think it’s amazing that this revival is happening it’s like the 60s,70s,80s,90s and early 2000s are all going on at the same time.

Revolutionary anarchic protests, Androgynous rockers, Neon colours, post-punk indie shows, peculiar fashion trends and reality shows as well as the cybernetic future beyond

But I’m also cold and angry about how this is happening because on the other hand, there are things carried over from previous decades that shouldn’t still be around...fascists in positions of power, nonces in the entertainment industry, Threat of a nuclear war, low economy, Jamie Oliver, Piers Morgan, Death, Pollution,Misogyny,Misandry,Sexism,Racism and White Supremacy

I could list more, but I can’t think at the moment I’m focusing on my work while morons on Twitter and Tumblr are yabbering on about vegan sausage rolls.

I’ve never tried Greggs before but I’m sure the vegans and vegetarians are happy that a mainstream chain like Greggs has made a product catered specifically for them, whereas before if you asked for a “vegan option” at a restaurant the waiter would scratch their neck.

However not all restaurants are like this,having to work overtime dealing with angry parents,screaming children and the odd nazi at Mcdonalds is not an easy task,yet so many waiters and workers across the world are able to somehow keep those businesses afloat,you guys, girls and comrades don’t get enough credit,you should be paid more,no wonder so many mainstream restaurants are having strikes or running out of food and people are either going to more independently funded places or ordering online to get their daily dose of fast fried convenience.

and while I would be interested in trying a vegetarian diet,It would be hard for me to give up eating chicken that quickly but I don’t really eat meat that often,and before you say anything as long as cannibals don’t use their choice of food in a dangerous way they’re ok with me, it’s no different to when our prehistoric ancestors had to hunt to find food in order to survive,some people still have to do that,it’s sad...it really is,while Christianity isn’t something I believe in anymore, it did say in the bible that Jesus shared his bread and food with his people,and I think some of us should start doing that,and if you already do whether it’s a snack you have or leaving out leftover food from your side takeaway business, that’s brilliant your making more people happy and your allowing more people to enjoy food and to have access to that basic human necessity that we all should be able to have to access to.

Sharing is another primary school lesson it feels like half of humanity has forgotten about outside of basic decency and kindness, but I’m probably not the one to talk about that since I was called “Rude” for most of my life.

there’s a big difference between telling someone they’re a plonker and making someone more aware of how they can improve themselves as a person.

Most of us all have flaws, most of us have had toxic moments,

we’ve all at times had moments where we’ve said something wrong that we didn’t mean,

or times where our cowardliness has accidentally caused misunderstandings and drama

or times where we didn’t intend to sound hurtful but that’s how it came across, or times where we’ve blindly followed toxic people, imitating their actions without meaning to or just generally times where we’ve been ignorant little eijjits.

Even people some would say were flawless had flaws or problematic aspects about them

David Bowie wasn’t too nice to his wife Angie in later years, Graham Lineman and Robert Webb are transphobic, Rowan Atkinson supports Boris Johnson’s “so-called” jokes and Ricky Gervais doesn’t like hearing people with different opinions than him.

Overthinking however can exaggerate this, overthinking can take that one time you were a bit rude as a child and that problematic “fandom” phase you had as a preteen and make you feel like your worst person in the world.

Your not, but most of us have had moments,there’s also the “not like other girls/boys phase” sometimes it’s just a light-hearted comparison drawing or blog post taken out of context other times it’s the grown-up equivalent of saying “I like this thing over your other thing that means I’m better than you”

Considering my at times cold thoughts it’s weird that I’m the person of all people telling you this

It’s perfectly ok to be prideful and narcissistic just don’t be so arrogant that you forget about your morals and the people that you're close to, but if at times because of mental health you question your levels of empathy, sympathy and compassion that’s ok too, your voices deserve to be heard, and there is help available you can find it through helplines, organizations or even your own comrades.

Outside of all the twits in this horrid fishbowl of a world, there are also millions of very kind nice people, I don’t know where I’d be now without my comrades

The offline pals who are like my sunshine because they brighten up my day,the old secondary school friends that made me feel less alone,the online people who I can vent to, converse with and joke with,the bloggers from years ago that I still sometimes keep in touch with and the creators who through their work in Media, Theatre and the Arts were able to encourage me to keep going, keep working, keep creating.

I think your all lovely and beautiful and creative human beings, no matter what identity you are, what music genre you listen to or what topping you prefer on your pizza

I will most likely adore you and if I haven’t it’s probably because I haven’t met you yet

You are one biscuit of cells, on this fishbowl planet, your mind is a land of wonder and your body is the garden surrounding it, take care of yourself like how you take care of your garden, your pets or the fictional characters you write about.

Your future might not be the future you expect, but it’s one you’ll enjoy.

if you are doing something you love which harms nobody, be as happy and passionate about it as you like

you are a person who deserves the world

Don’t push yourself too hard, if you know you’re doing a good job keep at it, don’t stress yourself too hard, but remember not to procrastinate, your mental health is important, some people might not understand all of the issues you’re going through, but you can make it out alive.

You're, not a number or statistic you're a person, your a beautiful, Kind, incredible, wise person

spread some love and don’t forget what the late Freddie Mercury said,

Keep yourself Alive!

#comedy monologue #original monologue #joke

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justsaya · 6 years

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I got bored so here some things

I'm a huge fan HP:Mystery, so in these i was reading a lot of Headcanons and i was thinking about my MC and also about my Big Brother's MC(in my family is the only one who support my omosexuality...bc to him "So you're lesbian...well probably my future wife probably will be an alien(i know how huge fan of Mass Effect 1,2,3 he is...so he's joking but i know him enough to say that probably he'll be married with some kind of alien for real)" so then i asked about his MC and now i'm going to say something about him(don't worry give the time to find and re-copy my MC's Headcanon and i'll post them too ^_^) Prepare yourself my Brother mostly love 3 things: FullMetal Alchemist and Dramas(and here Jacob is Rowan's big brother), Harry Potter

Name: David "Jager" Denneth(His Dad call him Jager/Hunter, He is German and her mother is English or Wells, he isn't sure for now...but she's born in Great Britain)

Family: Father(Fritz Denneth, He was orphan and adopted by a old wandering Monk who use Alchemy "FullMetal Alchemist Style"), Biological Mother(Christine Wellburn, she is a pureblood witch with a disease who block her ability to do magic but her family was rich and powerful enough so she went to Hogwarts anyways mostly for study a possible cure),Big Brother(Glaive Denneth is a Jacob's friends but David knows about him during the Sorting Hat thing and he was a normal wizard without disease and mostly a curious Ravenclaw like her mother but without disease then).

Born in: Second Half of August in a little village on the borderline between Germany and France there are like 1000 people around the area and mostly they're working adult or old enough to go to retirement, not much child like him or his best friend/like a sister, Elizabeth(She hate get called by full name, even the teachers call her Liz, bc she thinks it's such a long and uncool name)

Hair: Ginger like a Weasley and his father and they haven't a good Father/Son relationship until the end of Year 4(and even then...it's like "Can we just try to not argue everytime and enjoy a meal with shouting?" kind of relationship)So he hates his hair color but when got invited by Bill to Weasley's house, Molly was like "Charlie finally you're out of your room...wait..you're not Charlie...Bill, who did you take here?"

Eyes: Blue like a Sapphire and like his mother

Background: He grew thinking to be a only child in his family, and without a mother(Dead some days after his birth, Fritz says he get killed by an evil monster called Severus Snape, later he'll discover Snape try to cure her disease and...something went bad...but for that time Christine was mad/insane unable to be a mother even when she already had Glaive, Snape usually insult David by saying "Not even your mother wants to give birth to you, how can you think we want you here in Hogwarts?"). His Dad just buy a house in Germany right after his wife's death, and leave Glaive to some relatives of his wife and time from time Fritz disappear and go to Glaive trying to be a good dad and neglecting David who grew by hanging out with Liz and her mother(a muggle who also married a wizard, dead by a muggle landmine leave it there during WW2 while he's going in a near forest to take some ingredients for some healing potion, his wife knew he was a wizard and know mostly about it. She knows that someday Liz will go to a magic-school). David feels lonely while his Dad put him in the forest and force him to learn Alchemy/Trasmutation, mostly because he don't want another mage-child, so he tried to keep him with him even if he go often to Glaive to support him. So feeling lonely someday tries to do the thing(you know...the same resurrection thing of Edward and Alphone from FMA) he failed in the worst way possible losing the right arm and left leg(God Said "So you couldn't enjoy the feeling to braid the fingers with Liz when you feel scared and lonely during the storms and the leg to chase her till the lake where you both swam") He got panicked like hell, alone in that house while was dying...Liz came there just in time to save him, carrying him on the shoulder while he was losing so much blood. Got saved but unable to explain to Liz and her mother(she's a doctor in that place and wizard and muggle in that place stick together pretty well), too scared, so much traumatized to refuse to talk about that. Without his father for almost an year so, almost 11 years old while this kind of mother was making the impossible for making him some prosthesis enchanted with magic(found it while she was investigating in her dead husband study) not the best ones, but enough good to move, run and trying to be happy again. He got his letter for the Beauxbaton's accademy(the nearest from that village) and he was also thinking about to go, to find some help, but when his dad came back, he just listen his voice for freak the fuck out the window and run away in France where he meet Minerva during a travel. Fritz talk a lot about how scary wizards really are, but she was kind and he try to be gentle by help her with her luggage, he's not so strong but his trasmutation's ability made McGonagall curious enough to takes him to Hogwarts and pays for him. During the travel he tried to talk about what he did in his house, how he still feel about that horrible day and how he can't sleep well because the nightmares scares him enough to prefer to stays awake or just napping when he feels to need it. At hogwarts got sorted in Griphyndor but the Hat want him in Hufflepuff for a lot of reasons, but Minerva during the travel talk a lot about her job so he wanted be in the same house(OT: and other reasons but i can't traduct them pretty well..sorry).

FINALLY OH MY GOD, I LOVE MY BROTHER BUT HE IS SUCH A HUGE CHIT-CHATTER AND THE WHOLE BACKGROUND WAS NECESSARY FOR SHOW SOME SENSE IN HIS HEADCANONS(and nope, he doesn't have a tumblr account, and i wrote all i know about his CrossoverMC because tonight i'm bored like living in a bored hell, sorry if you reading this)

Headcanons:

- Everyone in Denneth-family have a personal diary/agenda where to write their discoveries or their thoughts about what they do, David wrote things about Magic, Alchemy and experiments with both, for a short period even wrote his feeling about everything. Nobody is sure why he writes so much, but he could hate someone forever if they read without permission, after a bad joke by Merula trying to steal that diary he begin to use a secret code based on cooking recipes that he likes, so nobody is sure if they're reading about a secret alchemy experiment or a very sweet lemon cake recipe(also thanks to that he learned how to cook and begin to cook for his friends).

- David meet Rowan at Diagon Alley but with Minerva by his side because he was still nervous about the whole magic-world thing, Rowan use some jokes and loose him a little even in the train they're reading Hogwarts: A history together trying to calm him each other

- During the train-travel Rowan noticed the metal arm of David, but he didn't want to tell the reason and Rowan was even more curious but he was sympathetic enough to don't ask, so no problem still pals.

During the first year when he noticed Snape for the first time he assults him asking question about his mother shouting a lot, Minerva came right before he could punch him and has reassured him but losing so much house points

- In the dorms he always take the bed nearest to the windows, it helps to sleep a little better even when he had nightmares.

- Watching Ben get bullied by Merula makes boil his blood and he confront her even when the whole school was laughting at him because(they still don't know) because how can a mage unable to cast even Lumos, to duel a real mage? Ben thought David was the coolest first year because is uncapable as a mage but still fight knowing to lose, and he lose, until someday tried to fight back with trasmutations and took off the wand from Merula hand, totally pissed off and even Flitwick secretly cheers him after so many times he lost those duels, and he permitted to use Alchemy during duels and he gotta admit(and the other students who watched him) he's pretty fast and agile, even without using Alchemy at all, so Flitwick just say "It's good have a duel with different kind of enemies, so we should be grateful to have an unique student like Mr.Denneth"

- Minerva bought him a female cat and he called her Ortensia(it's the italian version of hydrangea) and mostly he talks with her and try to fight his inner nightmare but it's real hard, he doesn't even feels hungry, and during winter the metal limbs hurt so much, even get up from bed it's hell, but Ben helps him without asking question, but by listen him screaming and sobbing during the sleep, he has some idea but it's alchemy/trasmutation things so he knows but without understanding.

- Meeting Penny was heaven, so cheerful, so funny...one day just tell to Rowan(he is a Ravenclaw and the jacob thing is hell for him, but David likes to listen him talk) "Penny's smile is like coffee, without her, days can't start for me". Rowan just laughts but also agree with him

- In the third year, knowing Penny sad story, saved him from suicide...he wanted to put an end to nightmares..but knowing about someone like Penny go through almost the same hell like him, was inspirational so he just fight back the pain, even during the whole boggart in the cursed vault where thanks to Minerva intervetion got saved and go to German for repairing his metal limbs, still scared and that's why Bill went with him. His almost-mother was so happy to see him, she was crying a lot while she was hugging him, Liz was pissed off enough to insults David a lot, but after some hours she calmed and tell about the fact their parents got married while he was at Hogwarts during those years...so Liz now is his step-sister for real. David was so surprised like almost fainted during dinner at home also watch his dad eat dinner calmly without even talk about the whole Human-Trasmutation thing was like "Ok, this whole travel is a joke and i'm imprisoned in some Cursed Vaults without even know it, and i'm watching something i would love to be real" They laught a lot

- His way to say "I love you" is "A world without you is not a world i want to live in" and he said these words only to Penny when is God-Boggart tried to attack Penny in the Cursed Vault. She took almost the whole summer to understand why he said those words, literally she write to him asking some explanations and he was like "You saved me that day in so many different ways" and wrote the date of the day she talked about Scarlet, she took a very intimate moment when they meet during summer to totally knows what David was going to do that day...and he got slapped and then kissed on the same cheek he got the slap.

- Barbaby, Charlie and David are the Kettlerburn's most enthusiastic students, also the most favourite ones, Barbaby for his caring about creatures, Charlie for his curiosity(he does a lot of questions), David mostly plays with creature, he is such emphatic with them, he treat them well like human-friends, even the scariest creature loves David, who just enjoy like a kid those lessons and still get good grades by taking notes when he isn't unsure to remember something, also David called his step-mother for taking care of mechanical limbs of Kettlerburn, totally free, because metal limbs are such a pain when it's raining or during the winter, they hurt like hell, so David take care of Kettleburn's hard job with creature when he doesn't feel well, sometimes Kettleburn doesn't show up during the lesson for that pain, so David, Barbaby and Charlie hang out with the creatures just for fun.

- Barbaby tried to learn Alchemy from David, it didn't went good, so for now David will be the only Alchemist in Hogwarts but David repays his attempt by teaching him some magicless-selfdefense because he need a sparring partner and Barbaby is pretty tought to fight, David wins most of the times but Barbaby is pretty strong so..he loses a few times

- Talking about Melee-fighting, David NEVER hits people with his metal limbs, mostly he use them as shields trying to block dangerous spells or hunt dangerous creatures

- Before Penny's secret, he loves the way Tulip doesn't care about rules like him, and he tried to make some bad jokes to Filch and Mrs.Norris, with Tonks otherwise ask some love-advice, but he didn't use them a lot those...he just be honest with Penny and got lucky(even when someone ask him love-advice now that he dates with Penny, he just says "I was lucky most of the times, i just tried...but i feel like she did the all love-thing...i asked her after our first kiss if the kiss meant i'm her boyfriend now...and she said yes, i was unsure if i was doing a good job by trying to take her to hogsmeade or to watch some movies during the summer, i asked her everytime...") they all laught about those story but they think an "In love David" is the cutest and funniest thing ever because after the third year David was joining the Quidditch team and he was really good, so confident during the matches and the lessons, so listening about how shy he is when he is near Penny is so funny and cute..

- His favorite '80s movie is Breakfast Club, he watched it at cinema trying to take Minerva as "Lesson about Muggle-world" he chose that film totally at random and love it, then invite Penny for watching it with her, thinking she probably will likes it, and she finds it a really good movie.

- His Favorite love Song is Nothing Else Matters, but of course it's came out during the 1991 so...until then, the other love songs feels like "This song doesn't describe how i really feel when i think about Penny, it's a good song but not enough to like it"

#penny haywood #harry potter mystery #barbaby #tulip #tonks #merula snyde #ben cooper #headcanon #mc

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punkcherries · 7 years

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get ready to rrrrrumble

jesus christ this is a long ass submission so uh puts it in a read more also puts my txt in bold so its easier to read 👍

Right, so I’ve just read everything that happened in the last few asks you got and I’m just gonna sit down and tell you this right now. You better strap the fuck in because this is long and if you’re not gonna read it, shame on you, because all of this is specifically about YOU and the problems people have with you (the people Blu mentioned). First off, I’m not Blu, so don’t go and start calling him names in your server because you’re finally, FINALLY, being called out on all the bullshit you do. I used to be your friend, I left on semi-good terms, and this entire thing is going to explain WHY I left + why you need to square the fuck up.

sounds like fun whoever u are

You need to get your shit together and seriously change yourself, but of course you’re not gonna do that, because you’re an incompetent piece of shit who has your head so far up your ass you can’t see all the things you do wrong. You act like you’re the person who suffers the most, and that anytime anyone is rude to you it’s THEIR fault, not the fact that you did something terrible to someone or that you started some drama. I’ve been fed up with this shit for months, and have been hesitant to say anything directly to your face, because you don’t even know me that well and we hardly talked. We did interact a few times, but those few times were absolute hell to me, because I must have literally retracted some kind of disease just from being near you. You are the fucking EMBODIMENT of tumblrina, and it’s so fucking sad because you weren’t like this before (based on what a few others have told me).

the use of tumblrina here is jus makin me laugh ur a funny guy buddy but i feel like my past self is worse thn my current self like past me participated in cringe culture so like ew

The way you talk? Absolutely fucking horrid. Sit the fuck up and talk like a normal goddamn human being. I’m here to talk to you, not to decipher some 57 commas and abhorrid shortening of words. Jesus fucking Christ Sombre, I can understand Internet slang and cutting some words up, but you fucking butcher the English language so bad it literally sounds like a toddler having a stroke while mashing at their keyboard. It’s “that” not “tht”, it’s “thing” not “thng”, it’s “something” not “smth”, and for GOD FUCKING SAKES IT’S “THE” NOT “TH”. ARE YOU LITERALLY SO FUCKING LAZY THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN TYPE “THE”, A THREE LETTER WORD. I don’t give a shit if you’re talking like this to sound like an anxious uwu tumblr piece of SHIT, it sounds fucking IDIOTIC and it’s an ABSO-FUCKING-LUTE PAIN TO READ.

language is fake and is mostly just sounds we give meaning, im very sorry if you have trouble reading the way i type and id be more than happy to try and not speak to you like i usually do to everyone else if you just asked politely and talked it out with me (tho the idiotic part is accurate im not very smart lmao)

SPEAKING OF YOUR TUMBLR, LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR UPSET.TXT TAG. If you think anyone is gonna pity you, SPOILER ALERT! THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. Unless they’re your shitty “friends”, NOBODY fucking gives a shit, alrighty? Speaking from my perspective and a few others, nobody’s gonna see this venting on their dashboard and give two shits. Unless they’re your mutuals, they won’t care and it just leaves a bad impression. It’s pathetic how when ANYTHING negative happens to you, you decide to take to Tumblr to boo hoo crypost about it. You wanna vent? You wanna cry yourself to sleep? Cool, talk about it on your server, NOT FUCKING TUMBLR, WHERE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEE IT. This is just like how Facebook used to be, you see these posts of people posting personal shit and getting bit in the ass for it later, YEAH WELL THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW BUDDY. DON’T LIKE IT? DON’T FUCKING VENT ON TUMBLR.

i rarely vent on here dude like?? do you see the time gaps between the posts in my vent tag? its also my blog so i can post whatever i like as long as im not hurting anyone yo, plus the point of venting for me at least isnt to like get attention or sympathy its to let off some steam not to mention most to all of my vent posts are vague as hell so like…. why do you even care though?? if i get bit in the ass then thats my problem not yours

Right, so let’s talk about your “im gay” tag too! You identify as male, correct? That’s cool! Congrats. But you’re not gay if you clearly show an interest in girls. Doesn’t matter if they’re fictional or not. Your “im gay” tag is filled with girls (Bismuth, some anime girl, pinup girls). NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE! You’re male, those are females! Opposite genders! That means you’re NOT GAY! WOAAAAAH! So who are you to be reblogging and posting all this shit about how hetero people are the devil, hetero people are the worst wah wah, when you yourself identify as a guy and clearly seem to be interested in girls, even if just a little?

dude i used to identify as nonbinary i only recently started identifying as male, hell i used to identify as female ages back so like? the posts in that tag are most to all old and i do realize my attraction to girls isnt gay, hence why ive only been referring to my attraction to dudes as me being gay post-male identification i guess

Speaking of all the heterophobic shit you reblog, have you not considered it could make some of your followers feel absolutely terrible? I’m bi myself, I like both guys and girls, but holy FUCK when I see that shit on your blog it makes me feel guilty for liking guys at all! Is that how you want people to feel? Whether they’re pan, bi, or straight, that shit’s literally so fucking damaging and it sure as hell hurts to see! And don’t throw that “some of those posts are jokes” bullshit at me, because guess the fuck what! They may be jokes to people who aren’t hetero, but they sure as hell don’t seem like jokes to those who are! How would you feel if I made a joke that was even SLIGHTLY negative towards homosexuals? Wait, no, don’t answer that, because I already know how you’d feel. You’d get pissy, you’d stomp your little baby feet over to Tumblr, and then crypost about it, saying you’re facing homophobia and being harassed blah blah blah.

HETEROPHOBIC IM LAUGHING…. buddy…. pal…. heterophobia is fake and im very sorry if those post make you feel bad as a bisexual person (im also bi so) but heterophobia isnt actually a thing, comparing jokes directed at straight people to lgbtphobia is inherently lgbtphobic as it compares little jokes most to all directed at bigoted/ignorant straights to something that can often result in the actual literal death of hundreds of people for their gender/orientation- that doesnt happen to straight people dude

Also: you don’t have autism. Were you officially diagnosed? Because I’m gonna be real fuckin’ honest, it doesn’t sound like you have autism. You sure have something, hoh yeah, but it’s sure as hell not autism. You put your “autism” up on a pedestal and act like it’s one of the only things about you, like no hunty, your mental illness doesn’t define you. Nobody gives a shit, okay? Your mental illness isn’t an excuse to act like a literal fuckface, it’s not an excuse to treat people like shit, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to blame everything on others and make yourself out to be the good guy because “my autism made me anxious or forget things ;w;”. This is the exact kind of tumblrina thing I’m talking about, people on this goddamn website act like their mental illness is the only quality about them and that not being neurotypical makes them special. NEWS-FUCKIN-FLASH, it doesn’t. It really doesn’t. You don’t see me using my mental illness as an excuse for my actions, because I actually step the fuck up and take responsibility for shit I’ve caused. My mental illness does not define me. There’s more to me than that. You need to realize that your fake-ass autism isn’t an excuse for you to be a fucking asshole to the people around you, and that your actions do have consequences. Stop blaming others for shit you’ve caused, stop calling people jackasses when it’s YOU who’s insulting people and twisting the truth, and for the love of God tell your white knights of friends to shut the FUCK up if they don’t know all the details of a situation.

i was technically diagnosed albeit in a nontraditional fashion (a psych at our middleschool was the one who diagnosed me) and i have never defined myself solely by my autism nor have i used it as an excuse for my fuck ups, ive literally apologized and stopped doing the things i did since the blu incident, i recognize i fucked up there and i apologized and i havent done the whole lying out of anxiety thing since, also my white knights of friends??? YOURE the one coming into MY inbox to tell me how shit i am after i blocked blu i literally just want this to be over leave me alone dude

Alright, so now that we’re done talking about YOU, let’s talk about your fandoms. You like Osomatsu-San. Okay, that’s fine. What’s not fine is how FUCKING obsessive you are about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking something and being attached to characters, making art of it, having a blog, reblogging it, talking about it, that’s okay. That’s okay! But you? You fucking hold the characters so close and act like they’re your own characters. You get upset when something doesn’t go your way in the show. This was evidenced by how many times you’ve complained about episodes (guess where? upset.txt) after they’ve come out. That anon about the straight joke? You got so heated over that, didn’t you? Saying Chibita was “out of character”, BITCH, what do you fucking know? He’s not your goddamn character! The writers will write him however the fuck they want. It’s THEIR fucking show, it’s THEIR fucking characters, and it’s THEIR decision of who does what and who acts like what. There’s a VERY thick line between canon and fanon, and you can’t seem to distinguish that AT ALL. You merge your shitty headcanons with the canon universe, and when something doesn’t go your way, you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and go crying about it in your server or on your tags.

youre blowing that ONE FUCKING POST so out of proportion ive never complained abt ososan in upset.txt outside of MAYBE episode 4 and that would be because of the NONCONSENSUAL SEX SCENE i KNOW my headcanons arent canon i KNOW that the chibita/snowtoko complaint was MINOR and i fucking LIKED THAT EPISODE A LOT!! i didnt cry i just felt that based on how the staff have characterized chibita up until that point it was a little jarring to see him react like he did THAT IS ALL! what the fuck!! how would you even know what i talk about in my servers!! youre obviously misinformed my guy!!!

Lemme tell you something, Sombre: Karabita isn’t canon. OH SHIT! I SAID IT BOYS! THAT’S A FUCKING CURSE ISN’T IT!! No, sorry, sit the fuck down and suck those tears up, because it’s true. It’s not canon. It isn’t. You grasp at straws to say it is, but it isn’t. Chibita wore somehing blue? Oh shit, it’s Karamatsu! He’s clearly in love with him! No, sorry honey, that’s not how it works. Of course Chibita would feel pity on him and let him stay with him (ep 24), because who wouldn’t? That doesn’t mean they’re dating. Karamatsu may be the most bisexual person ever, but he sure as hell isn’t dating Chibita (at least, not canonly). Speaking of Chibita, you need to stop acting like any other Matsu x Chibita ship is literal hell. They’re not. There are some decent ones out there, and although they’re rarepairs by now, they’re a lot better quality than the Karabita bullshit you spew out.

me saying karabita is canon is a joke, and my disdain for non karabita matsubita ships is based half in coping reasons and half in chibita has literally no chemistry with the other matsus and seems to not like any of the other bros at all whereas hes actually shown some level of tolerance or interest in karamatsu

While we’re on the subject of non-canon ships, Atsutodo isn’t canon either. Fuck’s sake, they were on screen together for 10 damn seconds. Yes, I’m aware there’s card art of Atsushi and Todomatsu having a meal together, but they’re very clearly not dating if Todomatsu is still going out with girls and holding their hands etc. Oh, speaking of Todomatsu: Your trans hc of him? Generic as fuck. He’s not trans. Call me a transphobe, I don’t give a shit, but he’s not trans. Look at the -kun animes. He’s a guy. Where in his life would he have magically been a girl and then go right back to a guy? The time span between a 12 year old and a 21 year old isn’t long enough to allow you time to transition. In that day and age, it wasn’t even acceptable to be transgender. So none of the Matsus are trans, get that out of your head. Get those “autism hcs” out of your head too, because I KNOW you hc Kara and Jyushi as autistic (and I’m aware you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic too, but we’ll get to that later).

i know atsutodo isnt canon i never said it was all the “x ship is canon” jokes are about karabita and theyre jokes dude, i just think atsutodo would be cute. why the fuck do you even care about my trans hcs?? theyre HEADCANONS they dont HURT ANYONE and like dude there are trans children out there….. stop being a fuckface about simple headcanons what the fuck.

Lemme tell ya something. Karamatsu sure as hell isn’t autistic. Literally the only reason you headcanon him as such is because you yourself claim to be autistic and because “uwu he’s m fav,,,, i relate to him,,,”. Also, I realize “jyushi is autistic xD” headcanons are common, but JESUS FUCK it’s time for them to die. Jyushimatsu is just bizarre in and out, it’s his personality and his way of life. If you’re gonna hc him as autistic for his personality, you’re obviously ignoring his physical abilities. What about that time he cloned himself? Grew different sizes? What about how he seemingly has no bones (tentacle arms)? But oh, let’s ignore that, because he’s always got a smile on his face and he has a childish personality so DURR HE’S OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC. Also, you used to headcanon Ichimatsu as autistic, but as soon as you started hating him you threw that headcanon out the window. This is PROOF you only headcanon your favorite characters as autistic, and that’s some of the STUPIDEST shit ever.

literally just let people headcanon what they want if it doesnt hurt anyone, im sure in canon theyre not autistic but this is HEADCANON. and is this also to imply that just because a character can do bizarre thing with theyre body they cant also be autistic?? what the fuck does that have to do with anything??? and i didnt throw my autistic ichi hc out the window because “i hate him” i dont even hate him im indifferent to him i hate his fanon incarnation because its stupidly out of character and one note, i also didnt even drop the autism hc for him i feel like he definitely 100% could be autistic but i just dont think about it as much because i think about other characters more than i think about him

Oh yeah, I’d love to hear why you hate Ichimatsu so much? Shut up, I know it’s because “hhhh he abuses kara” but that’s fucking wrong. Listen, Ichimatsu isn’t exactly my favorite either but at least I don’t make him out to be a fucking asshole to Karamatsu. All of the brothers have treated Karamatsu like shit at one point or another. They’ve thrown things at him, ditched him, called him names, ignored him, it’s a fucking trope in the anime that Karamatsu was the one to get hurt. Sure, season 2 has kinda turned that around, but the whole “Ichimatsu is bitter to Karamatsu” thing is the dynamic between them. They DO have moments where they’re not onto each other, though. See how Ichimatsu followed Karamatsu into the woods? Remember the episode where they switched clothes? They didn’t kill each other neither of those times, did they? And yes, I’m aware Ichimatsu has hurt Karamatsu at times (the bazooka, I think smacking?) but he doesn’t LITERALLY ABUSE HIM. You don’t see him kicking him around, PUNCHING HIM, HITTING HIM, EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE. Yes, he calls him names. Yes, he’s threatened to hurt him (“I’ll kill you, Shittymatsu.”) but he’s been stopped or HAS stopped every time. If he really was so intent on hurting Karamatsu, don’t you think he wouldn’t ignore his brothers and hurt Karamatsu anyway? But no, he didn’t, and he stopped each time he grabbed Kara. That’s because the entire “Ichimatsu despises Karamatsu” thing is a GAG in the show. It’s meant to be funny. It’s not meant for your negative ass to label it as abuse and then boohoo about it every time Ichimatsu is mentioned. That’s not a valid reason to hate a character, hell, even Karamatsu’s seiyuu said in a Doramatsu CD that Karamatsu was just comic relief. And if you’re gonna look for a reason why Ichimatsu dislikes Karamatsu, consider the hinted and well-supported reason: Ichimatsu “hates” Karamatsu because of how confident he is and how he can always be himself. Ichi is insecure. Ichi is antisocial. Kara, on the other hand, can express himself and show how “cool” he is. Consider that Ichimatsu wants to be more like him, hence why he said he’s the “number one Karamatsu boy” in that one episode.

okay this is just ridiculous i DONT HATE ICHIMATSU and i KNOW its a GAG, i KNOW they get along sometimes i KNOW all the brothers have shat on kara I KNOW THIS abuse takes many forms though and in a more serious anime the way the bros treat kara would probably be depicted as abusive, but it isnt a serious anime so its a gag and i understand that thats FINE, did you even watch the ichimatsu incident? ichimatsu got plenty fucking pissed off at karamatsu and stuff and the “number one karamatsu boy” nonsense was him being concerned about how karamatsu might think of him as such not him calling himself a karamatsu boy, and yes i know the whole ichi wants to be cool and confident like kara thing i understand that but even so that wouldnt logically excuse his bitterness toward kara but again, its a gag anime so its whatever, youre also ignoring the facet of his disdain towards kara being in part because kara is also vain and ichi finds this annoying and thinks kara is fake as hell because of it there was something in i think a magazine where the bros are all asked what they think of eachother i think and i THINK ichi said something along the lines of him not liking kara because he fakes being nice for the sake of his own ego or something (which is likely ichi just having a negative image of kara rather than that actually being the case because i dont think karas that smart but who knows i dont!!) so like y’know

In conclusion, I would like to say you need to shut the fuck up and chill with your fandoms and headcanons, realize headcanons aren’t canon, and also get your head out of your ass. You’ve done so many wrong things and need to stop blaming them on others. You’ve lied, insulted, and put the blame on so many of your old friends, you’ve avoided people who you deem “toxic” (simply because they have different opinions than you), you think people can’t form their own opinions, and you don’t back up your friends when they’re getting shittalked. You act like an assoholic brat and cannot, for the life of you, open up your eyes and see this. You’re lucky the dicktwats on your server are there for you, because if they weren’t, you’d be all alone, and honestly? That seems pretty good at this point. Fits you perfectly.

i know headcanons arent canon, i know ive lied (though ive really only insulted people who were dicks to my friends and maybe blu which probably not a good thing but i mean hes also insulted me so?? even i guess??) and i regret that, im more honest now and try my best to show kindness to people who have done me and my friends no wrong, ive only ever put blame on blu i literally dont blame anyone else for anything, i dont avoid people i deem “toxic” i avoid people i dont get along with because if i dont get along with them then theres no reason to talk to them im gonna let them live their lives, of course i think people can form their own opinions what on earth are you talking about???? when did i not back up a friend when they got shit talked?? i dont remember that but id like to deeply apologize if i ever did, unless youre talking about when someone in my server insults blu over ykno… him not leaving me alone and harassing me when ive done nothing but mind my own business since the incident, then while it was kind of uncomfortable for me because i felt it was the wrong thing to do i couldnt exactly muster the words to protest it. im very sorry you feel that way im always trying to improve and i like to think that im making some level of progress in being more sensitive and kind to those around me. but also dont insult my friends they didnt do shit weve been minding our own goddamn business this entire time blu is the one who started it back up again.

Now, go back to crying in your server and soaking in self-deprication, fuckass.

yknow i get the feeling i know who this is but i dont want to jump to any conclusions so, uh, okay! see ya my dude :0c

#shut up sombre #drama /#heres to hoping this is the last thing i get abt this bc this is jus really dumb and im tryna move on over here #ask to tag /#submission

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xjacobseverx · 7 years

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Fuck.

I have so many thoughts running through my head, and I don’t know if they’re real or not. I have swarm of feelings attacking me, and I don’t know if I can trust them. Is it just because it’s late at night and I’m sitting in my bedroom alone, with nobody to talk to? During the day when I’m at work, with friends, on the golf course and I feel content; is that real? Or are those things simply masking how I truly feel inside?

I haven’t posted on here in a while. Since December 11th, to be exact. That’s half a year without a single post or reblog. Tumblr used to be a daily thing for me. I’d spend hours scrolling, liking, reblogging, posting. It was my number 1 used social media site. Lately, it hasn’t even crossed my mind. I honestly haven’t had the Tumblr app on the past 2 phones I’ve purchased. I just don’t care enough. Maybe part of that comes with age, or maybe it’s because I already had everything.

Back in late August/early September of 2015, I got a message from someone on Tumblr. A certain someone I’d been following for a while, and always thought was really cute. Long story short, she also found me cute and we started talking. Fast forward a few months, and I’m buying plane tickets for my first trip to Canada. It took me 4 months from our first text message to make the decision to go visit her, and save up the money to do so. A year came and went, marking my longest relationship to date. She visited me, I visited her, and back and forth. Another long story short, and fast forward to today. I’ve been single for a week now. I don’t really know how it happened, and I knew I should have seen it coming, but I’m still shocked and surprised. Things hadn’t been perfect, but I had no idea the level of bad it was. There were times we would take a few days breaks from talking to one another, times where we would almost break up but hold it together, and times where I even wanted to end things. But everything always came back together in the end. So I guess I just assumed our relationship was invincible. I thought we would just always end up together. Maybe because of that I got lazy. Maybe I got complacent. Maybe I stopped trying. Maybe I was content in the way things were, without bothering to make sure she was as well. All I know is, when it’s 1am and I’m sitting alone, my mind can’t help but think of all the “what if’s”.

What if I showed more love and affection? What if I made the effort to visit more? What if I actually put forth the time to research how we could be together? What if I wasn’t so rude, mean, and short tempered? What if I wouldn’t have continuously gained weight? What if I had been born & raised in Canada all along? What if I had more money to take more time off work? Why didn’t I post more about us? (In the 2 years we dated, I only posted about 5 photos of us on here. Even though I had hundreds of great photos, I never did anything with them. I got lazy) Why didn’t I try harder? Why didn’t I do my best to make sure she was happy? Why didn’t I live up to mine and her expectations? Why didn’t I take the proper steps towards a real future? All of these things, and much much more, are just clawing at the back of my mind. I feel like an absolute piece of shit. Everything was right in front of my eyes, but I was too blind and stubborn to see them. Maybe I did see them and I simply didn’t care. I don’t even know at this point. I don’t even know why I’m typing all of this. I guess as some sort of release. I just feel so alone, and even though nobody will see or read this, it helps to get things out there. It feels better just to pretend like I’m talking to someone.

A few quotes are stuck in my mind right now. Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. I can’t help but think that is a load of shit. The way I feel right now, in this moment, is I wish none of it had happened. The time I spent with her were the best moments of my entire life. It was true happiness, in a way I had never known before. But to have lost that, is more heartbreaking than the good times were heartwarming. The heaviness of the pain right now is more than the highs I felt when we were together. The other, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone, rings a lot more true. (And fuck that stupid 80′s power ballad song, I got the Counting Crows song stuck in my head). But it’s true. It’s 100% true. In the past 2 years, I’ve grown to just expect her to be there. We texted 24/7, every day. About anything and everything. Sending photos of cute animals to each other. Venting about work or family. Then we’d FaceTime at night. It started off as an every night thing. Hours and hours, every night. Then as time went on, it became every other night. Then maybe a couple times a week. Once a week. We’d still text all the time, but I stopped making an effort to call. I took her for granted. She would stay home and wait hoping I would call, and I’d be out with friends or out to a movie. The 2,000 miles and 2 hour time difference between us didn’t make anything easy, but I failed in doing what I could on my end. We went from seeing each other in January of 2016, to March of 2016. Every other month or two, we would take turns visiting each other. I haven’t seen her since February of this year, and the next trip wasn’t planned until September. Seeing one another for 1 week every 7 months doesn’t cut it. And I take full blame on not doing my part to make things work. I wasn’t saving money for trips, I wasn’t saving vacation days at work. I was being lazy and I got stuck in the long distance aspect of the relationship. I was living my life here in Denver, and she was living her life in Montreal. We just happened to talk every day. We were e-pen pals. There was no romance. There was no spark. There was no sexuality. And I’m 100% to blame for that. Because I didn’t know what I had. But now that I’m sitting in my room alone, wondering what she’s doing, if she’s with someone, etc...I’m just dying. Now that she’s gone, I’m remembering all the amazing time and things we did together. I’m seeing how big of a piece of shit I was, and how I was completely failing her as a boyfriend. I really did not know what I had, until it was gone. And I don’t know where to go from here.

Sorry for this incoherent, rambling nonsense. I’m not looking for pity or sympathy. I’m not trying to paint her in a bad light. It’s just life. I wish her the absolute best, and hope she finds the happiness she deserves. I have a feeling I won’t truly now how bad I fucked things up until much later on in life. But forward is the only direction I can go from here, even if it’s into a dark, cloudy uncertainty.

#personal #diary #journal #why am i posting this #i don't know #might end up deleting later

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justlooking1995 · 7 years

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I have a question, I've really been wanting to get my own tarot deck, but every time I practice w/ playing cards I feel really bad bc my mom says their the devil cards???? And anyone who uses them is possessed??? I don't believe this for other people who uses them, but when it comes to me, I just get so paranoid. Since you're a Christian witch, how did you get over this?

I'm sorry I just saw this message. I've been restricted to mobile and it doesn't notify me when I get messages....But really I never entirely understood why people thought tarot was evil. Or Ouija boards either. They're neutral objects, they hold the energy you want in my experience. Or if you've come in contact with a bunch if evil or "dark" energy that means harm then obviously that's the vibe you'll get from them. I think I was lucky in that my mother experimented at around my age too. In much more than me. Cards, star charts, pal reading and a bunch more. Because she was trying to find herself, and where she belonged. Eventually she did settle on Christianity because she connected most with the Christian God. Myself I do too. But cards, interest me. And if you struggle to get messages from the rest of the universe cards are a good way to get a hint. Just don't rely on them as fact. They're a good help but always trust your intuition and trust in god over other sources. But to double check the cards can be handy. Or if you know someone who's looking for guidance but won't take "Gods" word then cards can be a good way to portray a similar message without it seeming like you're pushing for them to convert. In no way am I am expert lol. I'm a hot mess when it comes to my craft and religion. But basically I've just talked to god. Through what I've been doing he still responds. And as long as I don't hold any others above him as fact or worship other gods I can't see him caring honestly. Everyone's relationship with him is different though. But I've had contact with what, seems to be/claims to be some of the Greek gods. Who have some to help me with things. Even though I don't worship them. But I've put out that I'm willing and interested to learn all sides of things even though I do still stay with the god I have. And I see nothing wrong with wanting to learn. If you sit in the dark stuck in your ways you can't grow. Now does that mean go out and start to dabble in actual dark arts for experience no lol. But tarot cards are both a powerful tool. But also a simple piece of paper. They hold no power unless you give it to them. Talk to god. And only him. Ignore other people because your path, and your connection to god are yours and yours alone and nobody else gets a say. I'm likely a horrible "christian" even without the witchy aspect, not the best at that part but that's part of what makes us human. Plus we have free will for a reason. Forcing someone. Into a religion is wrong, god wants us to actively CHOOSE him because we want too. Not because we HAVE too... then again I was always a strange child. I use to pray for got do forgive Lucifer. The devil, Satan whatever name you want to use. I've always been nice and soft and wanting to help everyone. Demons Included. So I've always been a little fuzzy on "good and evil" lol. But evil acts are atill evil. If ot causes harm then its evil. If its mean and hurts people physically or emotionally. Its evil. Tarot isn't evil... But it sometimes tells you things you don't want to know the answer too and that's something you have to be aware if as well... once you start looking you're going to find things you might not want to find. Tarot may be simple but it is a stepping stone. Your path may be light but if you continue exploring you do open up to be found by things. That's not saying cards or other divination are evil but that when you grow spiritually evil things that would want to feed off you are very aware. Which is why you should also stre then your bond with God as well. Ok so I didn't really edit this.... at all. I just wrote. So I hope this makes sense and doesn't sound strange. I'm so sorry that I just saw this because Tumblr is awful for that...Also I'm not an expert... So. I may be the wrong person to ask about this. I'm new to. All things spiritual honestly. So if anybody else who's got more solid fact on the Christian God and other forms of divination/magic please please reblog this and add it on. If like to learn some more too just have limited resources and no computer access only mobile

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