#why isn't everything I've done to get better enough to give me a chance to just exist around people?

[medicinemane]

Every time I'm honest about how I feel, which is very bad and I want to die, it's always just "get help, get help, get professional help"

I did, for many years. I did more to fix my life while not in therapy, not because therapy is bad and I don't need it, but because after I'd stopped going to therapy cause Rob was the wrong fit for me, that happened to be the point where enough movement happened in my life to make change possible in a way it wasn't while I was in therapy

Rob I think could be useful to me now, but I no longer have feasible access to him or anyone else. Why is me going it alone without professional help not good enough? Why is me wanting to die everyday, but never doing more than preparing for it not good enough? Why is all my work on myself and my situation not good enough, and I have to do it alone?

Why is it always "get help" and never "good job"? (not literally, some of you are supportive but like... stuff doesn't internalize, but the ratio of just being told "I hope you get some help" to like "you did good on this" is way closer to one to one than I'd like)

I'm just tired. I'm just very very tired. I don't want to sleep, I don't want to wake up, everything enjoyable is very fleeting for me and hardly worth the price of continued existence... yet I continue to exist as much as I don't want to... why can't that be good enough for people?

Why has it always been people being like "I hate seeing you depressed... which is why I won't be friends with you anymore, so I don't have to see it"? Don't know how to help? Might I recommend trying seeing me outside of school like even once so I have a chance at company?

To be clear, I like the people here. The people I'm friends with are much better friends than people I've had in the past, and I think people over all do care, but I've noticed that people just in general are very bad at helping others even when they do care

The people saying I should get help are saying it because they care, but like... I've asked, I've laid it out plainly so many times on here in plain language. I've said exactly what the problem is over and over and over and over and over

I only have the evidence in my head to work with. I know it has been collected through a warped lens, but in absence of any other evidence it's what I have. When I only hear how worthless and useless I am, how am I meaningfully meant to counter that. When it's years after years after years of my grandma going up against and occasional "neat" on some minecraft build I do, how I am supposed to counter it?

This isn't to blame, this... I want to lash out, I'm always so bitter and I often just want to be hurtful, but I'm trying to choose my words very objectively and I know that the people I'm most likely to hurt are the people who care the most and I like the best, who really are trying to help and have done more than most

This is just me trying to be totally plain. This is me trying to show things exactly as they are. I feel like I still won't be heard, because no matter how plain I've ever made myself it always seems to go astray... but here it is

No one here will fix me. I don't even know if I can be fixed, but if I can't it won't happen overnight, and it's also no one's job to fix me

But I also don't really want to be fixed. I want to be allowed to exist and maybe get some support. I'm so tired of everyone just wanting me to be better and not accepting that I'm not

I want to be back in therapy, but there's barriers I've said over and over, and unless you can move those barriers for me I'd like therapy or any kind of professional help to be dropped. I'm slowly working towards getting even that figured out, but can we just leave it

But it's also I think any one of my therapist would agree that it's not even really professional help I need. Therapy doesn't fix years and years of isolation, a whole life of isolation. I've regularly said that the pandemic didn't effect me cause for me it was all just another day and I didn't even notice. That should tell you that there's something very very wrong with my situation

I don't want people feeling guilty, that just makes me have to try and help them. I don't want people to... to feel like they have to do something to stop me from being broken. I just... I just want to be honest about how I'm doing and have people sit with me and treat me like that's ok instead of leaving and getting upset which just lets me change things to being about them (because I will always try to shift it to being about someone else)

I'm so close to making things work. I don't want professional help, I don't want meds, I want to accommodate myself. I've got the trailer emptied, I've almost got the first wave of cleaning done, why isn't any of this enough to make anyone trust me?

Why is it never anyone wanting to help me figure out why I get stuck when I try to clean the room I'm working on and figuring out how to fix that? Why is it always just that I should take meds that'll make it work? I don't want that, I want the tools that are almost in reach to do things my way. Why can no one ever respect my personal decisions when I'm always happy for people on meds that they have something that's working for them?

Why can't I get the respect for my choices that I try to give to others?

...what would it take to get treated the way I try to treat others?

[ivysangel]

Okay but if partition is dicks song then DANCE FOR YOU is JASONS

plz give me ur address so i can send you an engagement ring, i've already bought it for you. you are so real you are so fucking real for this one, like dare i say...more real than partition (wrote this before i knew you guys weren’t the same omg just a lil jokey joke) ??? *gasps* ???? no, but when beyoncé said, 'tonight i'm gonna put my body on your body,' i felt that bc if EYE was the significant other of jason todd, someone would have to pry me off of him like a pitbull with someone's leg in their mouth. can't believe 'dance for you' is about jay-z, like...anyway!! (smut under the cut)

insecure jason has my heart, not bc i particularly enjoy the prospect of people being insecure but because it just makes so much sense, and it's such a stark contrast to how he appears as the red hood so it's kinda just like...like idk it does smth to me. need to jump his bones so fucking bad.

but the idea that sometimes his insecurities get the best of him when it comes to you, the notion that in every other aspect of his life he can put them aside to get shit done EXCEPT when it comes to you because he gets in his own head about your relationship. he doesn't think he's good enough for you, he thinks you deserve better, thinks one day he's gonna fuck up so bad you just won't come back to him. and that just simply isn't true. 

'loving you is really all that's on my mind/and i can't help but think about it day and night' it's so beyond absurd that he feels insecure in your relationship because he literally takes up 98% of your brain capacity. he doesn't even realize how absolutely down horrendous you are for him and it kills you !!!! how can this kind, loving, sexy, sometimes murderous man not realize how you can't live without him ?? so you do the only thing you can do, you fuck him.

'i just wanna show you how much i appreciate you, yes/wanna show you how much i'm dedicated to you, yes' he's so fucking annoying (loving) the way he questions why you're dressed up in red lingerie on a random day in the middle of the week, but it's like ?? if he's not gonna believe you when you say you love him, then ig you're just gonna have to fuck knock some sense into him. 'tonight it's goin down,' and down it literally goes, like you go down on him and give him some of greatest head of his life and your panties go down when you fuck him into understanding how much he means to you.

'wanna make that body rock/sit back and watch' you've got him under you, the minimal amount of clothing you were wearing is currently occupying the floor of your bedroom, and you're straddling him, leaving kisses up and down his body, kissing each scar, and whispering "i love you's" in between each one as he watches from lidded eyes, hands gripping and grabbing at anything he could reach. 'show you, show you, show you, 'til you through with me' words sometimes just weren't enough for jason. people had said things to him so many times and made so many promises just to break them. actions don't always speak louder than words, but in his case, they surely did.

'this is beyond sex/i'm high on you/if it's real then you know how i feel' you're riding him, rolling your hips into him as you draw out groan after groan. yes, you're quite literally having sex. but it's just more than that this time; it's a declaration of love, his confirmation that there is nobody except him for you. there will never be anybody but him.

'in my mind, all i can think about is a frame for our future/and the pictures of the past/and a chance to make this love last.' letting jason get lost in his own head is the last thing you'd ever want to happen, it hurts you so bad that he can't see himself the way you see him. when the sex is over, and you're both sweaty and out of breath, you caress his chest and whisper sweet nothings, letting him know that everything you'd said when he was balls deep in you was completely true, that you love all of him and you'd do anything to make sure he knew that.

(this one was not as good as partition, but my points still stand !!! partition + dance for you anons, you guys are so real u don't even know. ughhhhh i just love jason. need to fuck him so bad)

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

I'm gonna share with you guys a post canon Sonic Prime thought I've been having since I watched S3

So after S3 I accidentally became obsessed with Oasis's song Wonderwall, which gave me simultaneous Sonine/Chanine thoughts

I don't think I'll dig too much into what the lyrics made me think, I just needed to put that out there for more context.

So imagine Sonic after the events of Sonic Prime. After Shadow made off with the paradox prism, he ended up handing it off to Tails. He didn't trust GUN with being in possession of a gem of such power, and (given his track record with the chaos emeralds) he felt that he could trust that Tails would keep it safe and figure out a better way to keep it hidden.

So, for the time being, Tails keeps it hidden deep underground under one of his many labs. He figures out a way to harness and contain the prism in such a way that keeps it from overloading his systems or having the chance of expressing excess energy in a possibly chaotic fashion (essentially recreating the idea behind the shatterdrive or the chaos council's power core schematics), and then also develops the technology that would keep the prism hidden from anyone specifically searching for paradox prism energy or chaos energy in excess.

With this, Sonic, Shadow, and Tails are the only people aware of the paradox prism's location.

Shadow, being who he is, checks up on the prism fairly often (at least once in a while) out of concern for anything happening to it.

Tails, being who he is, does run more than a few experiments on the prism's energy and documents as much data on the prism he can technically get "safely"

But Sonic... After the events of Prime, Sonic was so happy to finally be home again (not just physically in green hill, but with his friends). All he's wanted for so long (once green hill would finally be fixed) is for things to fall back into its usual (predictive) rhythm, and he succeeded (to an extent). Sure, there will be a baseline level of weirdness for a while. After all, Sonic's friends practically blinked and then Sonic was a different person (a Sonic who went through trauma and an ordeal they will likely never learn the full details of), so it makes sense. But...that's not all. If it was just that Sonic changed and grew in an instant, then after enough time they'd all grow used to the way things are now. No, the problem isn't how everything that happened affects Sonic's friends.

Rather it's about Sonic himself. This is what he wanted all along! He'd felt so happy to be home among his friends again, didn't he? He does enjoy being able to slot into the old routine, fighting Eggman, hanging out with his friends on the beach, having a long day of fighting/adventuring with Tails and then eating a chili dog with him when all is said and done. So...why does he still feel wrong?

But...Sonic does know why he feels wrong, why he can't just fully settle into his old life dispite enjoying such a life. He just handles it by...not really handling it. He puts on a face when he's with his friends or fighting Eggman, trying to seem like his life is *right* again and he's 100% happy about things progressing as normal and fulfilled in his life. But when he stops running, when he crashes at Tails' place and is forced to be alone with his thoughts, Sonic retreats to where the paradox prism is being kept.

The paradox prism is one of those few things that remind him that everything happened. These days, it's hard not to feel like he must have made up his time in the shatterspaces or the shattering, that he just sort of changed one day inexplicably, that one day Shadow will turn to him and tell him that none of it happened (because Shadow is the one person who should know that it happened, the one person he should be able to rely on being in the same boat as him). At first it was something he did once in a while, giving the same excuse as Shadow about just checking up on the prism, but now Sonic sits by the prism every night he can, gazing into it.

Shadow thinks he's too sentimental about the ordeal, but Sonic didn't really expect him to understand why he'd want to remember everything. It didn't really take Tails too long to catch on to Sonic's sneaking away to look at it either, but Tails doesn't really mind it. If it wasn't for his patience and voice of reason and the fact that Tails cares about him, Sonic probably wouldn't be able to sleep as much as he is (although, during those times the two are both down there looking at the prism, or Sonic is looking at the prism while Tails is up late working on something, it's 50/50 whether they even make it to a bed or couch that night).

The first time he studied the prism Sonic learned something peculiar. Apparently, if one focuses when looking at different colored angles, they can see visions of the other shatterspaces (like a tiny window into the world). This revelation was...exciting to say the least, and even moreso when he found out that he could view certain inhabitants just by thinking about them.

And that should have fixed his issue. Every night if he wants, he can check up on anyone, make sure they're alive and not getting into trouble. He does check up on them.

But more often than not, especially once he's secure in thinking the others are alive and real and okay, he finds himself gazing into that purple section of the crystal, and thinking about Nine.

Nine's okay, he knows. Well, alive at least. Part of him dislikes that Nine is still so estranged from everyone else in the shatterverse, and his heart still aches at having left Nine alone back in the Grim. He can’t say he's gung ho about some of the specific robots Nine chose as company either, but nevertheless he watches. He watches Nine rebuild his Grim robots (starting with alpha grim sonic), restore Chaos Sonic, use the materials he has to build a community of his own (even if they are all robots). It's not ideal, but Nine is safe and growing and not fully alone anymore right?

But as he retreats to the prism practically every night, he watches the grim more than anywhere else, and his heart aches.

Because while he'd love to be able to visit and adventure whenever he'd like, for the rest it's...okay enough. He can live with it as long as he can gaze into the paradox prism, so long as he can at least have his home. But with Nine it's...not enough. It's not enough just to know that he's alive and not completely alone.

Sometimes, when Sonic is having fun and comfortable at home, he can’t help but think of how he left Nine—with no one but his own creations to care for him, while just about everyone else hates him.

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"

When Sonic is gazing into the prism, he wants to be there. He wants to be in the Grim with Nine, congratulate him, hug him (when he allows it), talk with him about everything, or just hang out. What good is knowing he's alive when he can't even hear Nine's voice or hold his hand or try to make him smile? What good is sitting there, caring about him from afar, when Nine has no way to know it?

When Sonic is out adventuring or fighting Eggman or hanging out with his friends, he wants Nine to be here. He wants to show him the friends he'd do anything for, he wants him to meet Tails for real, he wants to take him along on adventures or even...the little things. Maybe he wants to eat street food and watch the sunrise with him, or watch Nine and Tails geek out together (his two foxes getting a chance to actually get along).

He wants to be there for everything. He wants to share everything here with Nine.

He wants to see him he wants to see him he wants to see him and not just from afar. It kills him that he's the only one who wants this.

If the shatterspaces weren't so closed off, if he could even visit Nine whenever he wanted, that would make him feel better. But he's stuck here. Missing Nine all the time, always torn between here and there (because he never would have stayed, but he hated to leave).

And Nine? Nine could never forget Sonic—not as long as he lived. Even if he came to bury the memories of the past—of his time in New Yoke, or the war—he couldn't forget Sonic even if he wanted to. Part of him felt embarrassed about this truth, if not a bit pathetic, but the other part of him owned this. It would be easy to forget, but he doesn't want to.

Nine was...alone for a little while after the war—after Sonic left. At first he was just...depressed. Everything that had happened since he first met Sonic began to fully sink in, and he missed Sonic, and yet chided himself for it. Sonic wouldn't understand that Nine has never been this same since meeting him. He'd wished Sonic would choose to stay with him so so so many times, but he knew now that it wasn't meant to be. For one thing, he had to be taken back to his home if he wanted to live. For another, it was...funny to him that it had taken so long for him to accept that Sonic never would have stayed in the Grim with him, that he could never be Sonic's first choice. And now...he couldn't take that away from him. He's dreamed and imagined so many senarios in which Sonic took his hand, or in which they figured out another way to keep Sonic from shattering and Sonic chose to give up finally going home to stay with him and sometimes even what would have happened had he gone with Sonic and Shadow. But in the end, no matter how much he wants, he'd never make Sonic choose him. He'd never beg him to stay, try and get him to leave his home and his friends. And part of that is due to the guilt of even trying or believing it could be possible. And another (of many parts) is because, deep down, he's not sure if he deserves this.

After everything that happened between them, after everything he did (even if Sonic wasn't a peach either), did he...even deserve to have Sonic at his side?

He couldn't wallow forever, though. No. He eventually set to rebuilding Alpha Grim Sonic with the tools in his lab. And that helped just a little with the loneliness. And then his second pet project was to figure out how to replicate Chaos Sonic, and everything that made him (but loyal to himself of course). Nine was surprised he even had residuals prism energy left after the paradox prism itself teleported away, but he knows that (if not the power in it) the memories held within the prism's energy were invaluable to recreating the robot.

There wasn't much on the Grim, but Nine could do only his best to make it home. Not that he knew what it would ideally look like, especially with Sonic gone, but he gave it a try. He'd come to create new robots and rebuild others—ones that could not move against him, but nevertheless we able to live freely. And as this society of robots began, and they began to build things for themselves, Nine found the inspiration to join in on creating this home for all of them.

An addition he'd been quite proud of was the large statue in the center square of his bustling robot community—a statue depicting himself and Sonic.

This all would take quite a while to build, and it would take quite a long time to get to this point, but it was something. The time spent on all of this gave Nine something to do, made him feel like he was getting ever closer to making things "home".

But even with Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic at his side, a whole community to preside over, and ultimate authority in a place no outsider could infiltrate

He knew it would never be complete. He strove for all this because he had to, because he couldn't let himself wither away here. He had to find some way to live and enjoy himself and TRY to make this place the home he always wanted. He couldn't give up.

Of course, it's Sonic that's missing (because everything always seems to come back to him with Nine at some point). When the statue was finished and placed in the center square, he'd wished Sonic could have been there to see it. When he's sad, when he's depressed, when he's happy, when he's showing off or accomplished something, when he's having a laugh, or needs a hug—all the time he wishes Sonic was here with him to take it all in.

It would be even a little better if Sonic had the ability to visit. Or, if there was no other way, sometimes Nine thinks he'd even brave entering Green Hill just to be around him for a little bit.

"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"

Alpha Grim Sonic and Chaos Sonic have been with Nine the longest since all the shatterspaces became closed off from each other and Nine was left here alone. His two bodyguards, ever by his side.

Alpha Grim Sonic has had this budding personality and soul that's been growing ever since his creation. But because of this slow process, because of him originally being created as solely obedient to Nine without pushback, and because he's mute, it would take a long while before he'd be considered as more than a loyal robot, not able to live beyond its programming.

So, for a while, Chaos Sonic fancied himself the only one of the pair who really felt for Nine and what he'd been through. To him, he was Nine's one and only best friend.

While Sonic would gaze at Nine from afar, worlds apart, through the paradox prism.

Chaos Sonic stood at his side, talked to him, cared for him, helped him. He was more than the loyal thoughtless bot he thought Alpha Grim Sonic was. He'd be a better best friend than Sonic ever was. He couldn't fathom how Nine would continue to hold onto Sonic's memory after everything that had happened.

So Chaos Sonic, too, began to feel like the only other person who really cared about Nine after everything that had happened to him (even if he'd eventually concede that Alpha Grim Sonic had similar feelings and loyalties regarding Nine)

Sonic and Nine, worlds apart, missing each other.

Sonic and Chaos Sonic, each fancying themselves Nine's true best friend, and the only person who truly cares about him now.

Sonic and Nine, who each want the other to be at their side, but would be content to at least meet again.

Chaos Sonic and Alpha Grim Sonic, two loyal robots who want to forever be by Nine's side, and yet know they'll always play second fiddle to Sonic.

ㅤ

I am so emotional about it

I learned that apparently Wonderwall was depicting a person and their imaginary friend, which hurt more when thinking about all this. Sonic, who may as well be imaginary, because he can see and he can wish but he can never touch. And Chaos Sonic, who may as well be imaginary to those like Sonic, because only Nine really begins to consider him (and eventually Alpha Grim Sonic) as real.

Periodically I just get this imaginary wonderwall amv playing in my head depicting Nine's actions pre and post canon + Sonic and Chaos Sonic each getting a chance to be the speaker of the song

I'm so emotional about them

[crownmemes]

House Sentences, Vol. 9

(Sentences from House (2004-2012). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Is that a favour to me or to you?"

"I said no, so stop asking me!"

"You're too much of a nice boy. Let's let the bad boy out for a bit!"

"I like being alone - at least, I convince myself that I'm better off that way."

"We're better off alone. We suffer alone. We die alone."

"If there's any chance that we can pretend this never happened, I'd be completely fine with that."

"Why the hell were you naked in the kitchen?"

"You know what happens when you interfere in other people's relationships?"

"I know you're worried about me, and I also know that that kind of unselfishness doesn't come naturally to you, but I don't want your help."

"I should have known that you weren't done sabotaging this."

"Well, at least you're actually taking responsibility for once in your life."

"You're successful, smart, and you attract everything that moves."

"You present yourself as not giving a damn about other people's emotions, but your actions indicate otherwise."

"I told you that I wanted to be happy, and I followed your advice. And instead, I'm just miserable."

"Whatever the answer is, you don't have it."

"I don't love you, so just accept it and move on with your life instead of making everyone miserable!"

"I love you. I wish I didn't, but I can't help it."

"Why do you have to analyze things to death? Why can't you just let it be nice?"

"I know you're screwed up - I know you are always gonna be screwed up - but you're the most incredible man I've ever known."

"It means a lot that you respect me enough to do this."

"Just to be clear, this whole little act isn't gonna work. I need an apology. Not flattery."

"I've come to realize that I love you even more than I thought I did."

"You led me into temptation, and I followed."

"If everybody lies, then trust is not only unfounded and pointless, it's fictional."

"Did you sedate my mother?"

"There's nothing worse than loving someone who's never going to stop disappointing you."

"You know, you turned out remarkably close to normal, considering the genes in play."

"I am not giving you advice just so you can distort it to suit your own warped world view!"

"You're really not good with nuance, are you?"

"If you're going to dress like an Italian hooker, at least let it be this year's Italian hooker."

"If you didn't want to be insulted, you wouldn't have invited me."

"If you're emotionally invested, you cannot make rational decisions."

"You lied to me and betrayed me. Do you think I really care what you consider a good idea anymore?"

"You know, I've got to tell you, there is bossy - which can be sexy - and then there's bitchy."

"Can I ask you a question? Are you insane or just stupid?"

"Haven't you ever done something in a relationship you wish you could take back?"

"I used to think the whole brooding thing was just part of your work persona, but now I know you need to lighten up."

"If I had to choose between saving everyone, and loving you and being happy, I would choose you. I choose being happy with you."

"You choose yourself over everybody else over and over again, because that's just who you are."

"So, you don't want to just avoid the issue? You want to avoid avoiding the issue?"

"When things go wrong, I don't want to hope that I'm not alone."

"Why don't you move back in with me? At least until you get back on track."

"What an ego. You think you're some sort of emotional paragon? You're my rock?"

[mcflymemes]

THE DARK KNIGHT PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2008 film

what do you propose?

you know what i am?

you're garbage who kills for money.

i'm just ahead of the curve.

you know what i've noticed?

i promise you, the dawn is coming.

maybe we can share one.

the world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.

you crossed the line first.

this city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good.

you have no idea.

criminals aren't complicated.

very poor choice of words.

that's a lot of money.

i want my phone call.

what happened to the rest of the guys?

you know they'll be doubling up.

you were the best of us.

think you're smart, huh?

well, hello beautiful.

what do you believe in?

nobody panics when things go according to plan.

sometimes the truth isn't good enough.

never start with the head.

i won't kill you because you're just too much fun.

i'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea.

i don't want to kill you!

let's give someone else a chance.

why was it me who was the only one who lost everything?

see, i'm not a monster.

you look nervous.

upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos.

let me get this straight.

what did you do?

so why steal them?

a little fight in you. i like that.

what were you trying to prove?

you remind me of my father.

i think you and i are destined to do this forever.

all you care about is money.

i suppose they'll lock me up as well.

some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money.

i'm gonna make this pencil disappear.

can't rely on anyone these days.

we burned the forest down.

do you want to know why i use a knife?

they need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out.

don't talk like one of them.

you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

let's put a smile on that face.

if i tell you, will you let me go?

i want you to do it.

if it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?

if you're good at something, never do it for free.

sometimes people deserve more.

you're a lucky man.

some men just want to watch the world burn.

this city deserves a better class of criminal.

what would i do without you?

why do you want to kill me?

i'm an agent of chaos.

there's somebody here for you.

you complete me.

don't talk like one of them.

you couldn't just let me go, could you?

they're only as good as the world allows them to be.

when the chips are down, these civilized people, they'll eat each other.

i'm gonna give it to them.

i just did what i do best.

what have you done with him?

they brought the body.

killing is making a choice.

you have all these rules and you think they'll save you.

why so serious?

does it depress you? to know just how alone you really are?

we decided to act!

this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

i'll show you.

you see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. all it takes is a little push.

i can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who just enjoy it.

you die.

you truly are incorruptible, aren't you?

what's the time?

you have nothing to threaten me with.

what difference does that make?

guns are too quick. you can't savor all the little emotions.

i don't want there to be any hard feelings between us.

do i really look like a guy with a plan?

i'm gonna need a cup of coffee.

this is different.

we're not intimidated by thugs.

the night is darkest just before the dawn.

i know your friends better than you ever did.

they crossed the line.

i enjoy dynamite, and gunpowder, and gasoline.

i hated my father.

you wanna know how i got these scars?

you thought we could be decent men in an indecent time.

would you like to know which of them were cowards?

how many of your friends have i killed?

you won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness.

[glassprism]

I hope this question doesn't come off as cynical, but in recent years has there ever been a Christine that people didn't like? What I mean is, it seems like everyone is always praising the current/recent christines, whereas less recent christines face more criticism online. Is it that there has been better casting recently, or because people are less ready to criticize when they know there's more of a chance the actors could see it with such a connection between platforms these days? I just know that I've had some less than fantastic thoughts on some of the recent christines (nothing terrible, but disliking prominent aspects enough to expect other people to maybe acknowledge it) and I can't tell if its just me being too harsh towards great performers or if other people are just not as vocal about their opinions anymore

If you want to know my honest answer? COVID-19. Go one and a half years or more without theater and suddenly everyone and everything will look good to you, or you're at least willing to give things more leeway knowing that actors have to deal with various restrictions.

And yes, the quarantine is now a good couple years away, but we're still seeing the ramifications today. (Seriously, take it from a teacher - boy are there ramifications.) Heck, it's led to at least one major change in the Phantom status quo: the closing of the Broadway production. One of the flagship productions is just gone, one that I think many of us took for granted and always expected to be around, and I do think that's the kind of thing that will create a seismic shift in conversation: again, sometimes we're just so dang grateful that other productions are around, we're willing to spare them criticism that we might have given in previous years.

That's not to say that's that the only reason why criticism seems less prevalent or vocal; I do think that there are other reasons, some of which you mentioned. Social media is certainly one thing, especially as the productions cast younger and younger (or we get older and older), which means more and more actors that are active on the Internet. That can lead to more muted criticism, partially out of fear of them finding it, yes, but I think also because people start to conflate the actors' real life personalities with their acting, e.g. maybe this Phantom isn't that great but he's so lovable on Instagram and TikTok that it's difficult to critique him as severely as others. More inclusive casting could also be a factor: maybe so-and-so productions isn't great or maybe that's a piss poor piece of direction, but damn it, we have a black Christine and a black Raoul after literal decades of lily white casting and we're just so grateful for that crumb that we'll bite our tongues.

And also, maybe sometimes people just genuinely think those people are great, and they tend to be more vocal than others! Maybe these people are great! (Well, you never know. I've personally liked almost all of the casts I've seen so far.) Maybe you just have a difference of opinion with the majority, that happens too! Maybe you're not looking in the right spots! (I've definitely seen criticisms of multiple Phantoms, Christines, and Raouls, from a variety of productions, in various parts of the Internet.) Maybe some of us are just tired. (That's me right now - critiquing is hard, saying negative things, even if truthful, can be hard, and sometimes I just want to say, "Good voice, good acting, got the job done, leave me alone").

But even when I look at these things, you know what still stands out as the dividing line to me? COVID-19. So that's going to be my answer for now... but ask me again in two years and we'll see what's happened then.

[deadprompts]

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝚂𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽 𝟻 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂.

content warning applies. change any pronouns / wording if necessary.

no one is impressed, man.

people came and took this place.

this isn't the end.

we can walk away, and we will never cross paths again! i promise you!

your way of doing things is done.

i'm gonna hose you down in your sleep.

we can make it there.

it's all about survival now.

i haven't gotten used to it.

oh, sunshine, you don't get both.

you fought to be here and we have to keep fighting.

you know what's happening here and you let it happen.

come and get me.

you're survivors.

i kept listening to the news so i could do what i could to help.

we had to stop being out there.

why don't you say what's really on your mind?

he had one skill that kept him living.

it's not your fault, you know.

i ain’t slaying a lion anytime soon.

i could kill you right now. i could.

try to look at the good we're doing.

never let your guard down. ever.

get over yourself.

we’re not splitting up again.

i think pretty people taste better, too.

keep walking.

don't you want one more day with a chance?

cards on the table.

did you ask him the questions?

good news is you're not dead yet.

the deal is done.

if you don't fight, you die.

you owe us.

you don't need their love, but you need their respect.

i know what you did.

i've killed people. i don't even know how many by now.

i always lock the doors.

it's better now.

it's funny how you don't even notice the time go by.

as bad as it gets, it's still better than down there.

except you didn't get us here.

what the hell did we think was gonna happen?

people like you are supposed to be dead.

people are the real threat now.

i know you're feeling like an outsider.

i’m not a scientist.

we ain’t ashes.

you and your people took away our home.

sounds like i'd want to be part of your family.

i don't have any friends.

god, you're really that much of a coward?

things don't get better because you want them to.

the longer they're out there, the more they become what they really are.

i owe you everything.

they don't get to live.

this place is going to make us weak.

that's what i'm going to use to kill you.

everybody can't be bad.

we're all going to die and you let this happen for nothing.

i'll be damned if i'm gonna let that happen again.

nightmares end. they shouldn't end who you are.

you should keep your gates closed.

they're scared of you and me for different reasons.

i didn't need to know that, but cool.

the happier my officers are the harder they work to keep us going.

this... is not real.

you haven't had to get your hands dirty. i can tell.

you keep the windows intact, you keep society intact.

nowadays people are just as dangerous as the dead.

it's a long trip, but if it works out, it's the last long trip we have to make.

they're coming for us.

i look around this room and i see survivors.

eyes in every direction!

i’m not giving up, you hear me?

you’re the butcher, or you’re the cattle.

you said that we get to start over.

where are our people!?

it went the way it had to.

i want you to help us survive.

i don't want to lie anymore.

sorry i was an asshole.

i just need to forget.

the living will have this world again.

starting right now, we have to live in the real world.

turn it off.

come at me.

we'll survive, i'll show you how.

shut up.

no one's coming.

i met a lot of bad people out here doing a lot of bad shit.

we brought dinner.

my daddy was religious. i used to be.

i was watching them.

we can find a way, and if we don't, i'm still with you.

i'm trying.

satan disguises himself as the angel of light.

if you’re safe enough to be bored, you’re lucky.

some days, i don't know what the hell to think.

they're just assholes i stay alive with.

a false light will destroy everything.

welcome to the human race, asshole.

you still don't get it.

we brought them here.

i don’t cry anymore.

it's kind of like saving an anchor when you're stuck without a boat in the middle of the ocean.

i'm taking anyone back there who wants to leave.

we should never have put up the signs.

i'd like to propose a toast.

you look ridiculous.

i know you're in pain.

i think a lot of people in your position probably woulda given up, but you didn't.

you don't have to do this.

walk away.

we got you here.

i told you to stop.

horrible shit just stacks up day after day. you get used to it.

are we supposed to be mad at him because he used it?

we were trying to do something good.

we are them, we are now.

you're not the only one who lost something today.

i’m damned. i was damned before.

these people are my family.

we are not the same. we never were.

we do what we need to do and then we get to live.

if you want to come with us, step forward now.

i didn’t turn away.

i guess it's easy to make a deal with the devil when you're not the one paying the price.

i'm not rubbing dirt on anything.

we'll make it work.

we don't go back.

they have guns and people.

who the hell do you think you are?

we were being human beings.

you're not like everybody else.

is that all you want to be?

if they can't make it, then we'll just take this place.

[i3utterflyeffect]

The Pearl Problem

ITERATION 2: THE REBEL

All That Beckons tries again with some new friends, and finds that not everyone is willing to go along with what he wants. And that isn't just these animals, either. He also discovers that creatures without glass bones are much, MUCH more dangerous. - chosen time. :] [AO3 Link]

"Log four! I've gotten some help from other iterators who go by Aberrant Creation and Programmed Interference. Me and Programmed Interference go a while back, but we haven't talked in a while. Glad that they're helping me with this. We've gotten a chance to catch up a little, but it's a bit awkward since it's been... Uh... I can't remember the exact number of cycles, but it's been a long time since we've talked."

"I'm making some progress now. I've gotten a plan together for a creature that will hopefully NOT self-destruct, and one that's going to be able to efficiently create the bone I need for a pearl. They should be pretty sturdy, too, which means they can survive the extraction and regrow the bone! Man, this is cool."

"Hopefully this'll actually work. I'm trying it right now; Hopefully in about 50 cycles or so it'll be ready. Feels like a long time, but I can wait. This has to work, right?"

---

"Log five. The creature is complete."

"I think I followed everything right. I, um... I tried to play it safe since I don't want to give myself rot by screwing this up worse than before. I'm feeling pretty good about the result, though. It's been wandering around for a few minutes-- doesn't look like it's limping or anything, and I'm pretty sure that's a good sign. Let me just... poke it with an inspector and make sure it doesn't die as soon as I touch it."

"Just gonna..."

"Oh. That's-- what is it doing? What is that?"

"Is something on fi-- THAT'S THE CREATURE THE CREATURE IS ON FIRE WHY IS I-"

---

"Log five, continued!"

"I am very fortunate that genetic engineering uses a lot of water... because that thing tried to set me on fire."

"I genuinely don't know where it got the ability to do that-- I mean, I put in some lizard genes just to make the bones more sturdy. That shouldn't have given it the ability to set fires! Much less be immune to it! And-- honestly, I'm kind of regretting not keeping the first one in general! That thing was a thousand times less likely to kill me than whatever this is!"

"As for what happened... I contained it. For now. But I need to figure out how to neutralize that thing. I think I have an idea, but I need to contact the others first."

"Hopefully I can get it done before it wakes back up."

---

"Log six."

"I've got it under control, I think. It's not exploding now, at least. I made something that I can trigger on command to release a biological coolant in their blood, because! It looks like lowering its body temperature prevents it from sparking any fires."

"...however... Aberrant Creation has stopped talking with us, because apparently keeping a creature from killing me is 'immoral'. It's not like I'm killing it, though."

"Actually, I don't think I could even if I was brave enough to. It killed, like, two of my inspectors. I didn't even know a creature could do that."

"It's kind of sluggish right now, but I'm hesitant to extract the bone pearl while my equipment is still damaged. And also while I'm down two inspectors. And while there's... structural damage... and..."

"I need to go repair things. I need to fix... all of this. Saints below. I'll update on the situation when I'm in better shape."

---

"Log seven."

"It's been a few cycles since I created... The creature. The slugcat. Should I have a name for that thing? I'll... I'll think about it."

"But it's going well. Seems like the coolant method's working to keep it controlled. I'm still wary to let it around any important components, but at least I don't feel like it's going to immediately try to blow a hole in my can."

"I also managed to extract the pearl, and even if it's not the best material, it's better than nothing. It's kind of porous but it'll work for art, I think. It's also shockingly colorful for bone; it's colored the same way any pearl would be. That was an accident, but they're nice to look at. I kind of wonder if their skeletons are colorful, too."

"Anyway... I've been trying to encourage it to cooperate with me, but I don't see anything behind those eyes. Completely vacant except for apparently the thought of killing me."

"...I'm sure it'll come around eventually."

"Log eight. Discordant Joy said I should name them, and we came up with a great name... The Chosen One!"

"Heheh... Pretty sure the Ancients would NOT be happy with that name, but screw them; I like it. They've been pretty cooperative lately, by the way. I've gotten them to do a bit of pest control after a couple of white lizards crawled inside. They got chomped once or twice, but I think they enjoyed killing those things. Maybe I just need to get The Chosen One things to kill that aren't me?"

---

"Log nine..."

"...Programmed Interference has gone silent. They won't respond to any messages."

"I'm starting to get a bit worried. They've been having issues for a while, but suddenly they just seemed to disappear."

"...These slugcats are meant to be messengers, right?"

"...I wonder..."

There's a long pause in the audio. All That Beckons is clearly deep in thought.

"...This might be a bad idea. I shouldn't be doing this."

"I think... I'm going to see about making one for its intended purpose. And this time, I'm not going to screw it up."

[kwxnnxn]

I've seen so many people debate how to do Psylocke in the mcu and most opinions stress me out so I might as well share mine. While I really do not like the idea of Kwannon in the mcu if they want to do Psylocke she has to be Psylocke, not Betsy. Lots of people saying just make Betsy half-Japanese and ignore Kwannon but that just continues the shittiness of the bodyswap by giving everything to Betsy and ignoring Kwannon once again which will screw her over in the comics and cause confusion for new comic readers when it's already confusing enough.

Kwannon has to be Psylocke from the beginning, and honestly, I would prefer if the two characters really had no connection to each other and would be perfectly fine if we never see them interact. Although, if they had to have a history with each other they could have some sort of feud from when Kwannon was part of The Hand and Betsy was part of S.T.R.I.K.E , which can lead to an explanation on why they have similar powers.

I've seen a few people suggest that they should make Kwannon Psylocke but just give her all of Betsy's storylines when Betsy was Ninja Psylocke, such as Uncanny X-Force and the 90s X-Men. While this is better than completely ignoring Kwannon, I would prefer to see her as herself, not as another person just with her name. Also, Betsy can still have all of her storylines just without the ninja aspect.

I would introduce Kwannon in a Wolverine movie as either Nyoirin's prime assassin or as a solo assassin who escaped The Hand. Since Logan and Matsu'o have a history in the comics, it would be easy to have both Kwannon and Logan meet through hunting down Matsu'o. Give Kwannon and Matsu'o a backstory that they were in love but Matsu'o betrayed her, causing her to despise him. Matsu'o could have a connection to the loss of her daughter or knows how to find the remains of her daughter, which can lead to her alliance with Sinister or her joining the X-Men, or both.

I do not trust the mcu to do Kwannon any justice, really the bare minimum is giving Kwannon her own storyline and personality, which even that is unlikely. Also, Psylocke had never been a character that people seem interested in adapting. In every single adaption she's never a character that's focused on so there's a high chance the mcu will only have her there as a background character that wont get any depth or focus. This isn't really a bad thing and they can just keep it vague on whether it's Kwannon or Betsy like past live-action adaptions have done.

[bwobgames]

Previous First

"Uh, you mean let it be destroyed with the fire? Um, sure, but I'd rather be completely certain that it gets torned down, you know?"

"....No, that's not what I mean"

"Um, okay...? Is there something you are not okay with?"

"Why are we destroying it?"

"To end the loop, Ángel"

"But why? Coli is already dead. He won't come back regardless"

"What... What are you implying"

"I said this before Ángel, this place is dangerous. Look what Coli has done"

"Yeah, but look what the doctor did! He cured all of his patients and lived on to have a long life!"

"I, I just"

"I dont think this house is all that bad!"

"It was made with love! With the want to protect!"

"Yes, but it can be taken advantage of by bad people, like Coli"

"But we are not bad people!"

"Ángel. What are you...?"

"Just think about it! If it wasn't for this house, you wouldn't be standing!"

"If it wasn't for this house, I wouldn't have died 3 times"

"But you got better! What if you had a random accident one day? There would be nothing to worry about in this house!"

"Wouldn't you like that? Knowing for certain that everything will be okay?"

"Wh- What is this for? Do you want to turn this place into a hospital, too?"

"No! That's not...!"

"Then what?! Why are you suddenly acting like you want to be inmortal too!?"

"It's just...!"

"Oliver, I..."

"I don't want to see you die again"

He's crying

"Oh"

"...what can I say against that?"

"We might be fine now, but what if you get into an accident in the way back? Or in a few years? Or in a few decades?"

"I, I want you to be safe, I want us both to be safe"

"And this place can do that! We can age as much as we want! We'll never have to worry about whether we live or die another day!"

"Everything would be okay"

"Ángel, I...

I'm sorry

I just. I dont want to live in a house where I got killed"

"But you lived! You are not dead! Isn't that better?"

"I, I guess? Ángel we don't know what this house can do, it's dangerous, it's eating us"

"It wants to help! It will give us one more chance if we need one!"

"Ángel so many people have died here, I don't like these big houses. You know this"

"I'll make sure you are okay!"

"No, Ángel..."

"We, we are supposed to go see the chickens, right? I'm gonna show you around town, and you'll get me to Argentina

I, I've never crossed the Andes you know

I'd really like to see it with you"

"... we could, maybe"

"Yeah! And, dont you want to see my apartment? My cat?"

"We could bring the cat here"

"You are not getting it..."

"Ángel, this place is horrible. Even with all the good intentions it was built in, terrible things happened. And I'll always have that inside me"

"You don't have to"

"How?"

"We loop one more time"

"...What?"

"Coli is dead. All we do is have a nice night. I invite you to the bar, and we start again, without all this pain in your memories"

"What about you...? You are going to remember. And I'll forget you again."

"I know.

But you won't have to live with everything that happened here.

No more scars, no more painful memories

We can start again, like nothing bad ever happened"

"Like nothing ever happened? And you'd be okay with that?"

"... Not really

But I'd do it for you"

"You are being unfair, with yourself"

"I don't want us to die, Oliver. I don't want anyone to die anymore

They've died enough

I'm scared

I don't know what the future holds for us, and I'm scared

I dont want us to end again

Please"

"...I promised to save Ángel from this place.

Was I too late?"

[pan-magi]

I see that youve been a fan of magi for a long time, how do you cope with the lack of content and pretty much dead fandom? Ive been a long time fan or magi too and ive been trying to get my friends into magi.

Hi, Anon! I guess I have. It doesn't really feel like it though? I got into Magi early 2017 sometime and ran this blog for about 6 months or something until I vanished. This was meant to be my hyperfixation dump blog. The first one was Magi, and it... stayed Magi, lol.

This becomes very long but the tl;dr is Magi was more popular once upon a time and you can track down and return to older stuff with the lack of new content. And be honest to your friends about the ups and downs of what you like or what they could like about the series and keep conversations going with them.

At the time, I'll say Magi content was fairly active. The manga was ongoing but wrapping up, the main anime had ended but Adventures of Sinbad was only a year out or so. It wasn't anything to do with the series of why I left. More so I found new shiny things to focus on -- I had recently graduated college, yes, I'm old -- and fell out of love with tumblr more so than Magi and soon was not producing the content or consuming enough to stay interested in the series after it wrapped.

I'd love to give some great advice to stay interested in less popular series because I feel honored you asked. I can't claim to be good at it myself though. I got back into the series when I was sick late 2021 and binged everything. I re-watched the anime and then reread the manga when I got better.

You can try promoting it to your friends as good binge material. Magi does deal with themes you can sink your teeth into but it isn't super heavy. You don't realize how much you've gone through until you have.

I apologize for such a long answer. Let me try to get to your main point. I don't really think of it as something that's inactive or dead. The anime may be incomplete but the manga is done with. I don't think Ohtaka has much more to say on it, and that's why she has moved on to Orient. The series is wrapped- for better or worse. I'm not here to dissect how good or not the final arcs are. This is long enough and getting off topic XD. If you only have/can watch the anime then that's understandable. Accessibility and availability options are different for manga. For me, knowing the author has a complete version out there in some form and having access to it makes it easier. Content will come and go. Yes, I want more. I at least have a full course meal even if part of the dessert has disappeared into the ether.

Another thing that helps is that Magi is a young series. Not in the age range it appeals to but in how long it has been around. 14-15 years? Baby isn't old enough to drive in most places, lmao. The majority of fandoms I've been in are older or about as old as I am (30s). I am used to droughts in content and things coming in and out of popularity. Both in my ADHD-wired brain and by the fandom at large. I don't mean to say that younger fans are too fickle. As I said, I'm awful at it myself. There's a large gap of time (late 2017-2021) where my interests and priorities were elsewhere. I've only been active in the fandom for a few years at most.

I will say to help out try to explore the backlog of content if you have the chance and haven't already. New fan content may not be the most plentiful. Out of all the fandoms I follow the most relate to Magi and all of the tags are the quickest to breeze through what's new. It's sad. I haven't been active in this fandom for years, and there's stuff in its peak that I haven't gotten around to seeing that is still there for me to find. 14 years may not be that old in the grand scheme of things but that is still a long time for various fan art, fic, and other content to have been put up. If there's not enough new stuff to interest your friends, recommend older stuff you are aware of. Tumblr does not have the best search option and in my experience tags dry up after going back far enough even though I know older stuff exists. That is annoying and don't have a good counter on how to combat it.

Remember the old when you don't have enough new. Cycle through your favorite things at different intervals. Not for Magi specifically, but I reread some of my favorite fic that were over a decade old at the point of me discovering them. Now they're almost twice that age. One day go through one artist's backlog, then the next do someone else's, or read the fic that got you to love the fandom in the first place. If you get tired of older things or seen the same old too often- no worries! You can take a break or watch/read the series again (accessibility or availability again to be determined and yeah that majorly sucks). Scribble your own ideas down, regardless if you want to post them. Scratch that itch for you and no one else.

That is the best advice I can give. Try finding something else you haven't seen before or let yourself enjoy stuff you have. For your friends, this may sound counterintuitive but one thing I do when recommending stuff is give them a heads up as well on stuff they may not like. Like, mine is that I despise Aladdin being a little pervert. I've mentioned before how it turned me off the manga when I first picked it up at random. Don't try to catch them off guard by saying how wonderful something is and leaving out something that may turn them off. In my experience, that leads to annoyed friends. Give them the full picture, with spoilers being whatever you guys agree to, and let the strength of what you enjoy outweigh the caveats they have. Sometimes something is just not for them, and that is okay too. If they do start getting into Magi, keep the conversation up, ask them their favorite or least favorite thing, ship, how annoying and annoyingly charming Sinbad (or anyone) is, etc. Be someone to talk to about it even if they can't find new good shit to enjoy. Be that for each other. I dunno. I don't have friends irl who like Magi. If I did that's what'll I do. *shrug*

I am so sorry for the length and I don't feel as if I have been very helpful. I tried to edit it down and be as concise as I could. I can't do that on short notice or not being able to save drafts on asks. I hope this was a fun anecdotal read at least.

[bullet-prooflove]

Donna’s Wednesday Radio Show Prompt List #21

It’s that time again! The Wednesday Radio prompt list!

I have an empty Ask Box so let's fill it!

Please check the updated character list on my pinned post to see who I am writing for before submitting a prompt!

Also do not forget to put the entire prompt into your ask!

And there's no one in here living Gonna make it out alive

How can I trust you after what I've been through?

Toying somewhere between love and abuse

Show me all your tatt's, not just the ones that's on your hands

I want this more than life

And the moon is out and the stars are bright

Why I can't move on

And so I came to see him, and listen for a while

The sun on your face

Can we take this off and get naked?

show up at your door

she sets the world on fire Just to watch the sucker burn

I could tell when you locked the door just what was going on

There must be a good reason that you're gone

he'd found my letters and read each one out loud

I don't need your sympathy

She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

She said she never envisioned him the type of person capable of such deceit

I just like it when you grab my hips

Well, why, why did you mess it up?

I just heard you found the one you've been looking for

Baby, you're so anxious, you can't take it

We could take it to the kitchen I'll be on the island, come and eat,

You've had your chance, and now you want more

Touch me, baby

Boy, can we take off all our clothes?

Boy, you deserve a show

After we fuck, I'ma wanna cuddle

And I've been a fool and I've been blind 

Come on, baby, I can call your bluff

I love you, but I love me more

I don't wanna play no more, leave everything on the floor

Here to relive your darkest moments

Now it's safe to finish what we started

It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet

Regrets collect like old friends

You can leave open windows, don't care who see me out my clothes,

Singing my life with his words

Heels on, waiting at your door

Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision

And every demon wants his pound of flesh

Clue number one was when you knocked on my door

I like to keep my issues drawn

Light up your wildest dreams

I can never leave the past behind

Be something greater Go make a legacy

Now he hurt you and you hurt me

But I like to keep some things to myself

And I am done with my graceless heart

Kind of dress you're wearing tonight

Well, she moves like lightning

I really don't think you're strong enough

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style

don't give up, it's a little complicated

Say my name

First impression of you is you really like to party

Rewrite your history

So save your breath and Walk away

Everybody got a breakin' point kid

You try to tell me that we're so deep in love, Well, if we were, then why did we fuck it up?

Don't come back knockin' at my door

I am not the one To sit around, and be played

Do you expect me to believe that you've changed?

Told you before that love isn't enough

Strumming my pain with his fingers 

There's nothing you can say or do for me

You'll never see me cry

I overdosed

And that's when I knew, it was a pretty good sign That something was wrong 

I wish I would have known that wasn't me

Well it may be wrong but baby it sure feels right

Where did you sleep last night?

Cause I've had time to think it through And maybe I'm too good for you

Was she worth it?

Cause tonight you will be mine,

There's no talking to you

You'll never change for no one

he's holding onto you so tight The way I did before

And there ain't no place that I'd rather be

We don't talk anymore

Now put your hands up, this is a heist

Getaway car for two young lovers

It's so sad that you're leaving

Me and the girl straight out of town

You better throw a party on the day that I die

And we can't go back but you're here with me

Yeah, she's a genius (genius), watch and learn

[notmorbid]

the interestings, pt. 2.

dialogue prompts from the interestings by meg wolitzer.

why would you think that's okay?

tell me everything i need to know, because i feel like i know nothing.

i completely believe in you, and i'm not the only one who does.

nothing you do is ever good enough, according to you.

who was it who made you like this, your mother or your father? or both?

i guess that's always been the case, but i've been naïve about it.

imagine just disappearing one day and never being seen again. who does that?

we had no idea what we were dealing with at the time. we were kids. we were idiots.

just because we don't talk about it doesn't mean it isn't there.

isn't knowing always better than not knowing, generally?

sometimes i have trouble distinguishing what should be kept as a thought.

help. my values are being kidnapped.

keep what i've told you to yourself.

time to get a lawyer.

i have a bad headache. i think i'm going to die.

you're an atheist. who would you pray to?

there's never any miracles. the story always ends the same way.

i've been trying to get a handle on you all night.

i can't tell if you're flirting with me.

you're adorable. i even like your anxiety.

there are some things in the world that are just not about you.

what kind of help do you think i need?

doesn't everyone deserve a chance to live in the world and not be hidden away?

i just felt so sad. i was overwhelmed by the futility of everything.

i have to tell someone, and you're the only one.

i can't bear to look deeply. inevitably you run into horrible things.

i can't sit still. i have an itch inside my body.

it's been this thing we don't really talk about openly. it was complicated.

i'm stubborn about my love, stingy about it. it comes and goes at the worst times.

you seem unburdened somehow.

maybe the best you can ever do is just cause less harm.

i never get to help you. you're always helping me.

there's nothing worse than money anxiety.

i can't believe i'll never see ____ again.

you do have a good memory.

i should have listened to you. i should always listen to you.

i don't want to sound like a therapist.

i think i deserve a moment of big honesty here.

if you're picking up on something, it's just that i feel kind of sad.

if everyone's an artist, then no one is.

it's good to have principles, but you have to adapt to the times.

closure, that impossible thing.

everyone seems like someone i sort of know. like people you see in a dream.

it's just so hard to think of you not being here.

sex can be love, or at least a very good distraction.

i don't know if i'm happy yet. i really have no idea.

do you have any idea what it's like where i live?

i feel like i've been swimming back to this place, all this time.

will you be okay? i do not mean in a cosmic sense.

people can't get enough of what they've lost, even if they don't want it anymore.

you're like a kid with milk. you've practically got a wine mustache.

you've never made me tell you things. you've never made me confess anything.

i don't know what you think you've done, but i can't believe it's irreparable.

that's a terrible story, i'm really sorry. and i'm sorry i never knew about it.

who are you? give me back my real ____.

a lot of time passed. that's mostly what happened. time.

the world will probably wear your kid down. you shouldn't.

[shy-the-schizophrenic]

My Last Letter To You.

Kris,

I'm writing you this letter so I can have closure and say everything I need to say before I block you. I don't understand how you honestly can do this to me. To us. You were given another chance. You promised you wouldn't hurt me again. You wouldn't drink. And look at you. You can't help yourself anymore. And your piece of shit coworkers are just that. Pieces of shit. You lied to me. You blew off a night falling asleep with me to go get drunk with your coworkers. Your female coworkers. You lied. Once again. You can never be trusted, you've proven that to me. The one alcohol slip up, okay. But tonight? There was no reason. You chose alcohol over the beautiful love and life we could have had together. You told me to kill myself. Deny it all you want but I will never forget. You made fun of me for crying about you being with girls. You're a heartless man who spits venomous words at people he loves. Atleast tonight you didn't deny your love for me. Well kris. You killed my love for you. You proved to be like every other man in my life. You abused me. You're a drunk. It's disgusting. You're disgusting. I'm disgusted with you. I was disappointed, hurt, confused. No more. I know now that this is who you are. And who you are isn't deserving of me. I'm an amazing person. I've made mistakes but I'm a good person. I don't go out of my way to hurt people. I keep to myself. I continously work on my shortcomings. I saw a bright future for us. But now your future, I see it falling apart. You're going to lose your kids all over again and drink yourself into oblivion. Or you'll end up in jail. You're going to lose everything you've ever cared about just because you wanted to get drunk with some hot girls when you could have been with me. You think those girls are going to be there for you when you lose it all? No. Neither will I. I told you, you could come to me when you feel like drinking. When you felt low. Don't. I don't want any part of your life that you're choosing to ruin. I want nothing to do with you. You broke my heart for the last time. Only my ex fiance got that many chances. And I will not end up that girl I was with him. That will never be me. I should have seen your red flags. Your constant need to lie. How deep your alcoholism goes. I wish I did before I fell for you. But it's okay. Because you aren't feeling this right now like I am. And by the time you realize how low in life you are by losing me and choosing to go back to drinking, I will be fully over you and you won't even cross my mind. I will be free and you will be wracked in guilt and full of sorrow because your life will be empty all over again. And you can try to replace me. You never will. No girl will ever amount to me and the love I bore for you. I would have died for you. I would have done anything for you and you killed us. You killed my love and you will never revive it. I hope you feel every little bit of pain you've made me feel over the past couple months with your abuse when you wake up. I hope you realize what you've lost. Because it's absolutely too late. I'll tell you goodbye but you will never hear I love you. I won't give you that. You'll occupy my mind for a while. And it will kill me not to text you. But I'll be fine soon. I'll find joy in life again while you spiral downwards and for that I'm truly sorry. You don't deserve it. You have a kind heart but your demons have eaten you alive and it's so sad to see. This is why I never date addicts or alcoholics. Because I know one day they will relapse and I will have to watch them put their drug of choice ahead of me and everything they care about. I won't watch you waste away kris. I can't. I hope you get better. I don't see that happening at this point though. You don't want the help. You don't care about anything. You don't even love your children enough to stay away from alcohol. They deserve a better dad that and I deserve a better lover than you. Best wishes kris. Goodbye forever.

[kirua9]

Makoto's route. Dark 01.

Characters mentioned: Makoto Aomine, Ruki Mukami, Yuma Mukami, Kou Mukami, Azusa Mukami

Locaton: Mukami's mansion

Makoto: ( I have no other choice but to join them. I don't like the uncertainty of the deal I was involved in, but still... Give it a chance, I guess?)

*knocks the door*

*Some voices can be heard from the house*

Makoto: (As Ruki said I can approach them for discussing some future actions of the plan. Seems like I no more an "experimental" participant...)

*Screech* Someone opened the door.

Ruki: You came, good grief. Be my guest and don't stay outside.

Makoto: Yeah-yeah, leave those formalities, I know how exactly you talk.

Ruki: ... ( Her boldness grinds my gears...)

Makoto: (Well, they... live quite good... It's not like uncle's house, wich needs a repair. It's even cozy here.)

Location: Dining room

Ruki: Everyone, this girl is Aomine Makoto. It may sound unexpectedly for you, but this girl had been chosen for accomplish the Adam and Eve plan.

Yuma: Ha-ah??? What'd ya mean? From what time this sow is a part of the plan?

Makoto: !!! (Am I deaf or this... bumpkin called me "sow"? If I'm a sow, he's an ox! Hmpf! )

Kou: Eh, Yuma, Don't be so dramatic, instead, look at her thoroughly! This kitty has a charm, don't you think?

Makoto: Well, at least that was close!

Ruki: You'll discuss your opinions later, when we have an agreement for her role. That's why she's come.

Yuma: Ruki, Why's this even happening?

Ruki:?

Makoto: And why are you so against? Have I done something bad to you?

Kou: Fu-fu! The cat showed her claws? Don't be the naughty girl, your charm vanishes immediately with such attitude.

Makoto: ... ( How can he teach me how to live? Puah! Gave me a wink! Ew! )

Azusa: Is she... here... for Eve?

Yuma: ...

Kou: For Eve?

Makoto : (Oh, what's going Mr. Ruki to say?)

Ruki: As far as I know, Eve doesn't need any other figure to guard her. She's not like those other girls, who were betrayed by their own churches. Therefore, this girl isn't here for this, although I barely understand, why did you consider her role in this particular way.

Ruki: In fact, she carries the same function as we, but for Adam. That is what I've been told.

Makoto: ???

Makoto: (What?..)

Kou: Hm, weird. But sounds fascinating. How is she going to be along our side if she's a poor human girl and we're vampires?~

Yuma: I see every small shit is entertaining for yer, Kou. Even this mean chick.

Makoto: (Ah, perfect. Now I'm the "mean chick". )

Azusa: So she is... Like us... But why... she came... so suddenly?

Makoto: ...

Ruki: ...

Makoto: Well, guys... Overall this sounds funny, until I realized I'm not like you at all...

Makoto: I'm mortal, after all! So please, keep in mind I'm fragile... Like that vase over here... By the way... Why do you even need this chinese vase?..

Ruki: Stop this unnecessary complaining. You were the one who sad, that you agree on everything just for truth. Do you remember it, or your memory is like a goldfish one's?

Makoto: (Mocks me... )

Makoto: Enough! I'm not complaining or something. These are just my thoughts.

Ruki:Good grief... Now, when everyone realizes what's going on the great plan starts. His plan.

****

Makoto: ( They're taling only about "His" plan... I can't believe it's happening in this universe, sounds unbelievable.

Could it be an honor to be a part of this event? I don’t know, but Ruki and others are motivated enought for doing all this stuff.

Besides... Ruki appears to be in the worst position and it's painful.

He said himself that he can't become Adam by definition, and all these actions lead to one of the Sakamaki to become Eve's "one". But he's eager to win this game... I can't stay still, I think its relatable...

That's frustrating. Am I the same? The only think I want to get is truth, but I cherish a sweet thought that verity consists a hope.

Hope for better... )

[butmakeitgayblog]

Would UTI's the same then? I've never had either so I don't know what is and isn't uncomfortable.

What about lights on/lights off? Obviously that is a choice communicated between partners and varies, but does it like *say* something about you if you prefer it one way or the other? I've heard women complain about their partners like, "oh my god Brian wore socks to bed the other night and it was disgusting" "you too?! Greg does the same thing and it's the worst". Do gay ladies do that kind of thing? Like, "I got with this girl last night and she only wanted a small amount of light in the room, what a weirdo"

What if I get with someone and either they or I have trouble getting the other off? Obvs again, communication, reading your partner, etc etc etc, but how do you go about it? Again, different people, different types, everything, I'm not looking for a hard-and-fast rule, maybe just a little life experience?

I know these are totally non-sequitur. But that's the thing is it's hard to find a fully serious answer because either the question is so trivial it doesn't matter or people already know and I don't, and I really hate feeling stupid.

Ok just as a broad stroke here, my advice for anything wrong going on in the downtown is to get it cleared up before having sex. UTIs can be painful af and if left untreated can cause a w i d e range of issues including death (if left long enough that it goes to your kidneys. And it will.). So just know my answer will always be don't have sex when you're dealing with an undercarriage issue cuz you're probably 1. Not gonna feel comfortable and 2. Gonna make it worse 🧐

As for the lights thing, I mean, I think it's just a comfort issue. Maybe they have body issues or being fully seen feels too intimate. Maybe it's just over stimulating and they feel like they can focus more in the dark. I don't think it says anything particularly bad or good either way tbh. I've always done it with the lights on or candles but tbh it's never even been a question that's been brought up 🤷‍♀️ it's just kinda like... they're on. We're not stopping to shut them off. Or if they're off when we go in the room I flip them on like normal cuz ya girl is blind and I will knock into something. So. I assume it's the same with everyone. I never really got much why that was like A Thing with straight people. No shade, just being honest on my part

Also, I know this isn't what you meant but the socks thing just gave me this mental image of like,,, getting ready to fuck and then the girl walks in butt ass naked with just a strap and a gleaming white pair of socks on 🥴😂😂😂 yeah that'd I'd lose my shit over lol like wtf girl you took everything else off but not the socks?? So for something like that i wouldn't be mad but they better not get mad when we have to wait 10 minutes for me to stop laughing

Here's the thing, what I'm getting from all these asks isn't at all that you're stupid, it's just that you're way overthinking it. You're trying to plan ahead or envision so many what ifs so that on the off chance they happen you'll be prepared. But the fact is, you can't do that. Not really. You'll never be 100% prepared for anything in life. You're gonna make missteps and get surprised by stuff and yeah sometimes you'll do something that'll make you look back and cringe at yourself (but also hopefully laugh). But you'll learn from all of it too and in doing that you'll figure what's right for you. My experiences will never be your experiences and no matter how much advice I give you, there will be curveballs. And that's ok. You're gonna figure who you are as a queer person and what you do and don't like. Who knows, maybe you'll turn out to be the one who ends up liking to have sex with socks on 👀 and if so, I guarantee there's someone out there with cold toes who would love it 💕