#why the fuck am i fainting in the library

[yourfavanxioussunshine]

hate it when anxiety manifests itself in the physical form

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

A Song of Ice & Shadow

Part 5

You can read chapters one, two, three, and four here.

A/N: Not @ me pulling an all nighter to finish a protocol for uni and submitting it at 6 in the morning just 10 minutes before the deadline. Then proceeding to edit this chapter. This series in ruining my future, because all I did in the last two weeks is write 20 chapters! instead of the four protocols that I should've written on time. Anyways, enough about me. Y/n is fighting everyone in this chapter and saying hurtful things along the way.

Summary: Tension rises as Y/n only makes things harder for everyone around her. After moving into the Town House, she is attacked by the King’s soldiers.

Warnings: angst, slight violence, blood.

Word Count: 4.1 K.

Coming to check on Elain, much to Y/n’s surprise, she was not in her room. She paced towards the room where Nesta usually sat, only to hear her telling someone to get out. When she arrived she found Nesta and Feyre by the door and Elain and Lucien sitting in the room.

“I told you to keep him away from her” Y/n glared at Feyre, her voice tight with frustration.

“I came for a book” Lucien stated, trying to sound nonchalant.

“You don’t fool me, you one-eyed bastard. Get out!” she kept her voice steady, though a storm was building within her. 

“She needs fresh air. Get her out of this house” he advised, and although he was right, Y/n barked “do not tell us what my sister needs. You don’t even know her”. In a moment of intense anger, a faint spark danced across her fingertips, the sensation lost amidst the turmoil of her emotions. She clenched her fists tightly, extinguishing the spark, the potential within her remaining hidden.

Feyre had come this morning to apologize for the previous night, but upon being seen in the same room as Elain and Lucien, it only made things worse.

“Y/n, I-”.

“Save it” she gave her sister a glare before storming out.

—

With no one around, Y/n felt cooped up and could not leave even if she wanted to. She decided to explore the rest of the house. Reaching the library, she felt something tighten around her chest. She was greeted by Clotho who wrote on a paper offering to assist her. She didn't even know why she was here, but then an idea came to her. She wrote back  “do you have books about the anatomy and strong and weak points of the Fae?”.

“You want to learn about your body?”.

“Something like that”.

Clotho signaled one of the priestesses who led Y/n to the aisle about Fae anatomy a couple of floors below. She started reading out of curiosity but got sucked in. The tightening of her chest returned and she finally put the book down. She looked around, but no priestesses were in sight. She walked around the library when she saw a dark pit below. Something was drawing her closer, and she decided to investigate. She heard a faint voice ask “who walks here?”.

“Hello. Is there anyone here?”. No answer. She resumed her descent.

“Who dares disrupt my sleep?” the voice was louder.

“I-I did not know there was anyone here. I’m Y/n”.

“Ah, the one who’d been lost. I see you’ve been found”.

“What does that even mean? Who are you?”.

“You mean to say, what am I?”.

“You’re not Fae? Wh- where are you? How is it possible that your voice is everywhere?” Y/n was now going down carefully, as the lights began to fade.

“Fae?” the voice laughed “I’m much older, girl-”.

“Y/n, what in the Mother’s name are you doing here?” Cassian grabbed her wrist and led her upstairs.

“What the hell, prick? Let go of me!” but Cassian did not release her until they were in the upper part of the library, where it was safe.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” this was the first time she’s seen Cassian angry. His wings flared slightly, a sign of his agitation.

“What has gotten into you?”

“What has gotten into you?” he repeated “how can you just go down there? Do you know what lies beneath the library?”.

“No, I do not. No one has told me anything. In fact, this is the first time I’ve been to the library”.

“You stupid fool”.

“Mind your tongue, General”.

“Why did you even go down there?”.

“Because- I- I don’t know. Something was calling to me. I had this strange feeling and it led me there” she explained.

“If it ever calls to you again, do not answer. Do not go down there, do you understand me?”.

“I do not take orders from you, General. I’m not one of your soldiers that you can command”.

“Mother above, Y/n. Will you just listen for once?” Cassian sighed. He’d never dealth with such a stubborn and infuriating woman before.

“What is down there?”.

“A creature you do not want to face, trust me. Please, just stay away. I’m not commanding, I’m asking”.

“Alright, whatever. How did you even know I was here?”.

“I stayed behind to guard the city and you and Elain-”

“I don’t need guarding”.

“I know. When I came to the house, you weren’t there, so I had to check. When I got to the library, Clotho told me you were here. I did not think you’d do such a stupid thing, but when I came to find you you weren’t there. Only the book you were reading. Why are you studying our anatomy?”.

“I need to know everything about my enemies in order to defeat them”.

“Do you plan on killing me?” he chuckled.

“If you keep annoying me”.

“You’re lucky that I found you. You could have died”.

“Am I supposed to thank you? You don’t know that. Maybe whatever is down there just wanted to chat” she shrugged.

“Since when do you see the best in people?”.

“I don’t, but it is not a person, is it?”.

“Let’s just get out of here” he rolled his eyes.

“Where is everyone?”.

“Hewn city. If you agreed to help, you could’ve gone with them”.

“And see more of your kind? From what I heard, they’re even worse than you”.

“Much worse”.

“Then why would I ever want to go there?”.

“Fair point. But what about your powers, don’t you want to learn about them?”.

“You don’t know if I have any”.

“You are Cauldron-made. I-we believe that each of you has powers”.

“Power or no power, I’m not doing anything to help you”.

“Why not? You’d help save everyone”.

“You ask a lot of questions, General”.

“And you answer none”.

“I don’t owe you or anyone an answer”.

“Sorry, I asked… I have to go now, Rhys just informed me of their return. And please don’t go down again”.

“I won’t.  Tell my sister and your brother to come here tomorrow, I have something to discuss with them”.

—

To Y/n’s surprise, not only Feyre and Rhys were in the living room the next morning, but also Cassian, Azriel and Nesta. 

“Good morning” she greeted Nesta, and Nesta only. “How are your lessons going?” she took a seat next to her sister.

“I’m learning to shield myself. Yesterday was tiring” Nesta informed her.

“I want to go home” Y/n informed Feyre, who was taken aback, much like everyone else in the room.

“What? This is your home now” Feyre said.

“No, this is your home. I want to leave. I want to go back”.

“But you’re not human anymore” Feyre reminded “they won’t accept you there. It’s not safe”.

“I can glamour myself. And I can decide what risks I’m going to take myself”.

“You can’t glamour yourself forever”.

“Why do you care? I have made my decision. I want to leave” she persisted.

“Because you are my sister, and I want what is best for you”.

“And you think this is what’s best for me? To be locked up in here with nothing to do, surrounded by people I don’t like. I’m sorry that your human life was miserable, that you had to hunt for our family’s survival and just because you found a purpose here, just because you fit in, doesn’t mean we all have to. I had a life back then, a good one”.

“No one is locking you up. I told you, you can leave any time you wanted” Rhys reminded.

“How am I supposed to leave if no one is here to take me out? Or am I magically supposed to send a letter that would go wherever you are?”.

“You can call with your mind and I would send whoever is nearest to get you” Rhys explained.

“Nice trick, so you can enter my mind and read my thoughts? I’m not stupid”.

“I would never do such a thing, I give you my word”.

“You and your words that you can’t keep” she huffed.

“Y/n-” Feyre tried to diffuse the situation.

“I.want.to.leave”.

“It’s not safe. Not for you and not for your father. You have to think ab-”.

“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you” her reply came with a huffed chuckle “where was all that talk when you came to us for help? Or did our safety not matter to you when your new family wanted help?  Because from where I stand, everything that happened to us was because of a decision you made” Y/n’s voice grew quiet, almost hesitant, pain and disappointment evident in her tone. Y/n didn’t want to say these words aloud, knowing her sister felt guilty, nonetheless. But bottling up her feelings all this time backfired on her.

“Don’t blame Feyre for what happened to you. If you want someone to blame, blame the King of Hybern, blame me” Rhys defended.

“Oh, I do, and his turn will come. But she played a part in what happened, I begged her to take her business elsewhere... I played a part in what happened” her voice faltered “we all did. And you? You want to know why I hate you? You made a promise that you couldn’t keep. You and your brothers promised to protect my sisters and when they needed that protection, you were all helpless. I should’ve never trusted you or let you anywhere near them and I have no one but myself to blame. I knew of the danger your kind would bring us, but still I allowed it to happen and now my sisters are suffering and Elain lost her fiance. All because of one decision” tears were now filling up in her eyes, but no one dared to speak. They all partly blamed themselves for what happened to the sisters and now with her confession, they know she blamed them too. A reminder that they have failed her and her sisters.

“It’s not your fault. No one blames you” Nesta finally spoke, trying to comfort her older sister. This was the first time she saw her break. She was always composed, didn’t let anything or anyone get to her. A faint smile appeared on Y/n’s face before she wiped away the tear that slipped and composed herself. She wanted to say something but had no energy left in her to argue, so she only nodded.

“You are right, it would put my father in danger. I won’t make that mistake twice” Y/n admitted before silently walking out of the room.

—

“What’s going on?” Y/n stepped out of her room as she heard noise and movement coming from outside.

“We’re moving to Rhysand’s townhouse” Nesta informed her sister.

“Great! And when was this decision made?” Y/n sighed.

“Yesterday… after you left”.

“I see. Is it because-”.

“Elain needs fresh air and staying here won’t help anyone”.

“Right… Was anyone going to tell me or were they just going to drag me there?”.

“I was sent to inform you, since-”.

“Since I basically told them to piss off”.

“Something like that. Let’s go” Nesta led her sister upstairs where the Illyrians and their other sisters were waiting, in addition to the one-eyed ginger. Azriel was the only one who dared to offer to take Y/n. He was met with sympathetic looks from his brothers and Feyre.

To his surprise, Y/n did not object and took the hand he extended to her. This time she’d be calm and composed. She did not say anything during their flight and neither did he. Knowing how she felt about him-  them, he could not face her, as guilt crept up on him. They were the first to arrive and when they reached the front door, he released his grip from her waist and opened the door. “Where’s my room?” was all she asked. He informed her and she nodded in thanks before leaving for her room.

—

The next day, a healer called Madja was sent to examine Elain. To see if something was wrong with her, but she found nothing. She informed the sisters that there was nothing wrong with her physically and that she cannot enter her mind, since apparently being Cauldron-made gave them immunity against anyone who tried peeking around in their minds. This made Y/n feel pressure lifted off her, seeing as now neither her sister or Rhys can ever read her mind without permission. Madja suggested that Lucien try, seeing as he was her mate, maybe he could sense something they couldn’t. Although Y/n hated the idea, she agreed for her sister’s sake.

“What the hell did you do to her?” Y/n yelled at Lucien as Elain stood from her seat startled by whatever he did.

“Nothing” he claimed and apologized to Elain. After a while, Nesta walked out of her lesson with Amren and took Elain to the garden, away from Lucien. He informed Feyre that he felt her, but as Y/n thought he could not sense what was wrong. Feyre assured him they could try another day before walking after her sisters to retrieve Nesta for Amren. Lucien was left standing alone with Y/n.

“Don’t even think about getting together with my sister” Y/n warned.

“She’s my mate” he reminded. 

“I’m letting you near my sister, you one-eyed bastard. You have done enough damage. You might be able to fool the others, but you don’t fool me. I know the only reason you’re here is because Elain is your “mate”. If she wasn’t, you wouldn’t have cared, you would’ve stayed with that dumb fuck of a male, his existance is a waste of oxygen. And don’t think I’ll ever forget how when my Feyre was suffering, when your ‘friend’ locked her up, you did nothing. When you tried taking her back by force, after seeing how she suffered. When you stood by while that monster made a deal with the King to use his land to slaughter humans. When my sisters became what they are because of you and your friend’s stupidity. You couldn’t even be a good friend, and let him spiral out of control, let him become the villain that everyone hates. So, over my dead body would I let you have her, but I don't put it past you to kill me to get to her, knowing who you keep company. But at least if you kill me, Elain will see you for who you truly are” Y/n said coldly, only hatred in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry about wh-”.

“You’re only sorry, because she happens to be your mate. Don’t waste your time with me, I will never forgive you” she walked slowly upstairs, knowing her words will leave a deep scar.

—

Y/n was on her bed reading, when two High Fae males appeared in her room. From the way they looked, Y/n knew they were the King's soldiers. She promptly jumped out of bed and shouted “Elain, get out of the house now! RUN”.

“Don’t worry, we’re not here for your sister. At least not that one” one of them smirked.

“Stay back!” she warned.

“Or what?” one of them blew out blue Faebane dust at her, rendering her magic, whatever it was useless “you can either come with us willingly and make it easy for everyone or you can try and fight back, but it won’t be fun, at least not for you” one of them laughed as he took his blade out.

“I think you know which one I’m sticking with” she gave them a smile, not letting them see her fear. As one tried to move towards her, she threw the lamp on her bedside table at him and jumped on the bed, hoping to reach the door. The other one was fast enough to yank her back by her braid, throwing her on the floor. “Is that all you’ve got?”.

“I’d say it’s not fair to fight an unarmed woman, but again when is it ever fair?” She managed to kick him in the balls before getting back up on her feet and opening the door. When she reached the stairs, one of them pushed her down, resulting in a few bruises and a sprained ankle, possibly a mild concussion as well, but surprisingly nothing more. She limped to the kitchen, in search of a sharp object she could use. The first thing she saw was a small knife, but it would have to suffice. “What do you think that knife is going to do?” a mocked laugh came from one of them as he slowly walked into the kitchen.

“That depends on your fighting style. It could be the eye, your throat or even land right between your eyes or legs. Who knows?” she shrugged “I’m not going down without a fight. The only way you’re taking me with you is if I’m dead”.

“The king needs you alive, but he said nothing about harming you” one of them lunged forwards but before he could reach her, Azriel ripped his throat with his bare hands, blood splattering all over Y/n’s face and nightgown. Before the other one could react, Azriel threw his blade, Truth-Teller at him, which landed in the middle of his face.

“I had it covered”.

“I’m sure you did. Are you alright?” Azriel scanned Y/n bodies for any injuries.

“I’m fine, but Elain-” she remembered as the adrenaline wore off.

“She’s fine. No one tried to attack her” his hands were on her shoulders, still scanning her.

“I’m fine, Shadowsinger. I just sprained my ankle” she reassured him.

“That is what’s worrying me. You fell down the stairs and only got a sprained ankle”.

“How do you know that I fell? And are you saying you’re disappointed I didn’t break my neck or get worse injuries?”.

“I- that’s not what I meant. Just forget it and I’m sorry about the mess and the blood” he gestured to the blood on her face.

“That’s the least of my worries” she chuckled.

Azriel had just finished getting rid of the bodies, while Y/n sat on the couch with an ice pouch applied to her ankle when Feyre, Nesta, Rhys and Cassian walked through the front door.

“You look like hell” Y/n said to her sisters.

“I could say the same to you” Nesta gestured to the blood still all over her and the messed up braid.

“You should see the other males” Y/n stood up and gave her sister a warm hug “I’m glad you’re alright” she took a step back and shifted her gaze to Feyre “both of you”.

The others arrived and gathered in the living room to plan for any future attacks. They informed Y/N why the King was after them and what had happened to the queen who jumped in the Cauldron after them, but still she couldn’t understand how that would happen, seeing as she went in after Nesta and nothing happened to her.

“Maybe it’s because you went in immediately after Nesta and the Cauldron did not realize she took something from it” Cassian suggested.

“But as I recall, you stayed much longer than Nesta and Elain” Rhys reminded.

“The ravens said that both of you stole something from the Cauldron. What did you take, Y/n?” Feyre asked.

“I don’t know. All I know is when I went under, I was full of rage and hatred and I wanted to destroy the Cauldron. Other than that, I don’t remember”.

Then, they went back to discussing the meeting with the High Lord and who had agreed to come and possible outcomes of the meetings.

“The queen might come” Elain said. They all wondered who she was talking about and she clarified it’s the one with feathers of flames. Everyone was confused except for Azriel, who came to the conclusion that Elain was a seer. They started asking Elain questions about this queen and then debated about going to find out more about her and maybe bring back an army when Lucien volunteered to go.

“I need a bath” Y/n sighed before standing up again and heading towards the stairs. Azriel rushed to help her, but she held out her arm, gesturing she could walk alone.

—

“I need to send this letter out” Y/n entered the living room, where the inner circle except for Feyre and Mor were sitting. 

“Alright, Az will take you. I have some things to discuss with Amren” Rhys said. Azriel stood from his place and nodded in agreement.

“Where’s Feyre?” she questioned.

“Out with Mor. She’s showing her something”.

Y/n strode towards the door and Azriel followed behind.

“Don’t be late” Cassian quipped and Y/n lifted her hand up, showing him the middle finger before leaving.

“I’m sorry you got stuck with me” Azriel said.

“I suppose it’s alright. It was either you or the General and I’d take you any day over him”.

Azriel snorted “what’s the deal between you two?”.

“He’s a giant prick who loves annoying people”.

Azriel winnowed them out to the dispatch center and waited outside when Y/n hesitantly walked in. She had finally decided to send that letter to her father. She informed him of the war that is to come, of how she and her sister were transformed against their wills and that she now lives with Feyre. But she also lied, telling him she’s happy where she is and that he shouldn’t worry about her. That she’ll come visit him once the war is over.

“Is everything alright?” Azriel asked when she finally came out, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“Yes, it’s fine. Let’s just go”. With that he wrapped them in the shadows and winnowed out.

“Where are we?” Y/n noticed her surroundings were not something she was familiar with.

“We’re on a mountain”.

“No shit, that I figured”.

“I come here sometimes, when I’m feeling low” he confessed.

“Who says I’m feeling low?”.

“I’m not blind” he gave her a knowing look, his eyes narrowing slightly as if to say I can see right through your lie  “you’ve been like this ever since this morning, especially after delivering that letter”.

“And what am I supposed to do here?” she crossed her arms.

“Take a break. Away from everyone. You can see Velaris from here. It brings me peace whenever I come here. I thought it could do that to you too”.

“I appreciate the thought, but peace is not something I will experience any time soon”.

“Then just take a break for a moment to breathe, unless you prefer going back and enduring Cassian” he joked.

“Fine…so what am I supposed to do exactly? Look down at the city and enjoy the view?”.

“If you want. Whatever makes you feel better” he sat on a rock, his arms crossed.

Y/n stepped towards the edge and looked over for a few minutes before speaking “it’s hard to do anything when you’re sitting behind me watching like a hawk”.

“Would you prefer it if I left? I can give you however much time you need and then come back to get you” he offered.

“No. Just- if you’re going to show me a city, show it to me at night or dawn. Everything looks more enchanting at these times”.

“Duly noted”.

“We can leave now, I feel a bit better”.

—

Y/n was knitting in the living room, a new hobby she’s picked up, when Amren walked in, informing everyone that Hybern had attacked the Summer Court. The inner circle were discussing strategies and exchanging information about what to do next, when Rhys decided they were going to aid the Summer Court. 

Azriel and Cassian were preparing for war, checking their blades and tapping the siphons atop their hand, spreading their scaled armor across their body. Their expressions cold and devoid of emotions. Although Y/n had seen him- them in their full armor before, she never witnessed them preparing for a fight or a war. The sight of them made her heart skip a beat. Was that worry she felt? She did not know. She stood from her place to say something, but they were gone before she could. Nesta questioned if Mor and Feyre were going to fight and Feyre informed her that they would if needed.

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[words-etched-in-her-skin]

The continuation for that Alcina fic was fucking deliciousssssss skdjfskldfj

It got me thinking, I'm not sure if you've written a fic like this before or if you would even write one like this, but I was wondering what that situation (or one similar to it) would look like from Alcina's POV?

Hello, dears ♥️ In preparation for reaching ✨1,750 followers✨, I've been working on a little fic that was inspired by both this ask 🔺🔺🔺 (thank you 👀 I'm so glad you liked it jdhddjkd) , as well as this incredible piece of fanart!

But first and foremost:

Thank you all for following! 💋

And as for the request, here you go! Written from Alcina's POV and just under 3k words 👀 I hope some of you will enjoy it! 😁♥️

The Lady found herself in a foul mood as she made her way back into the castle. Met with nothing but absolute silence as she opened the large doors and walked into the even larger foyer. Of course, she expected no one else to be awake at this hour, save for her daughters who were still out on the hunt. Though, as she made her way slowly up the staircase, a faint sound could be heard traveling its way softly through the corridors. A quiet, subtle melody hummed just barely loud enough to be heard. But, of course, she heard it. She heard everything that happened within those castle walls - even when she cared not to.

“The audacity.. sneaking out at this hour.” She grumbled to herself, following the haunting sound. Her foul mood turning even more sour when she realized that her hopes of getting directly into a hot, soothing bath had been swiftly thwarted. Instead making it so she'd likely have to discipline someone instead. She sighed as the voice grew louder, leading her directly into the library.

A Countess' work is never done, Alcina, she thought to herself tiredly. Of course it wasn't. Why should she be able to enjoy the solitude of a hot bath and a glass of her favorite wine after running through the woods chasing after man-things all night? She huffed at the air, frustrated - irritation riddling her weary bones as she opened the doors to the large room - the soft humming immediately halting as she did.

“There's no use in hiding, dear. I may be tired, but I can still smell you from here.”

A murmured curse in response from a voice she knew all too well. She sighed again.

“Draga.. of all the nights to be breaking curfew..”

The Countess was in no mood and she could feel her patience wearing thinner by the minute. Of all people.

“Come out, pet, now.” She ordered through gritted teeth.

Slowly, the figure of her current paramour came hesitantly out from behind the bookstacks and into view. Skin pale and a look of sheer panic on their face.

“Alcina-”

“I don't believe now is the time for such informalities.” She responded sternly, cutting them short.

They swallowed nervously. “Right, of course. S-sorry, my lady. I.. I thought you were out for the night?”

Alcina scoffed. “As if that gives you the right to be disobeying my direct orders? Hm? Traipsing around the castle at all hours of the night.”

“N-no… it's just.. I-”

“Save it, pet. I am in no mood for excuses and you're the last person I wanted to have to discipline tonight.”

She rubbed the bridge of her nose and moved further into the room. A profound wave of exhaustion washing over her that forced a slight stumble to her stride.

When was the last time she had even fed? She wondered.

“My lady? Are.. are you alright?”

“It's nothing.” She snarled.

“Countess.. I am.. very sorry for disappointing you. And I know you're angry with me.” The human’s voice softened a little as they moved closer to her, fidgeting anxiously with their fingers. “But, if there is anything I can do? You know, to help.”

“There is.” She growled, “You can start by not being so incompetent!”

This time the words that came out were raw, primal - dipped in venom - the dragon within her inching closer and closer to the surface as her need to feed grew stronger. Albeit, the moment she saw her handservant flinch - coiling back at her words - she couldn't help but soften. Sighing, she turned to face them.

“I am sorry, draga. I seemed to have lost myself. While, yes, I am disappointed that you disobeyed the rules of this castle - you did not.. deserve that.” Alcina sat down in the chair closest to the fireplace and took a deep breath, her body overcome with exhaustion. “I fear it has been too long since I last fed. Which makes being around me at the moment rather.. dangerous. It would be for the best that you return to your quarters for now, pet. I'll deal with your punishment in the morning.”

“Oh. Of course, my lady.”

They bowed and then turned to leave before pausing.

“Uh.. Alcina?” They asked tentatively.

The Countess looked up, eyes heavy. “Hm?”

“Ah, if I may - you could.. use me.. if you wanted?”

Alcina raised an eyebrow. “Use you? How?”

“Ah.. heh.. that is, to feed? From me?”

The Countess stared blankly, shocked for a moment before shaking her head. “That's not necessary, draga. I have everything I need in my room.”

“I'm aware.. but.. you know. You're obviously quite exhausted and I'm.. well, I'm right here.”

They gave her a crooked little smile that she couldn't help but chuckle at.

“If you're trying to get out of your punishment, pet-”

“N-no! I'll fully accept whatever punishment you deem appropriate. I just.. want to help, is all.”

“Mmh..” The lady hummed in thought, mulling their very tempting offer. She was exhausted, this was true. And it'd been longer than she could recall since she’d had the taste of fresh blood in her mouth. Warm and pulsing and straight from the tap.

Still..

With the dragon in her so close to the surface, the worries of her losing control were imminent. And the thought of losing yet another partner - one as sweet and caring as they were, again - was almost too much of a thought to handle. Alcina physically shuddered at the thought, the warmth from the fire doing very little to calm her worries. Worries that her handservant must have quickly picked up on. Small fingers sliding into her own and a kind face looking up at her as they kneeled on the castle floor in front of her.

“Hey, I trust you.”

Alcina snorted. “Famous last words, pet.”

They chuckled softly. “How about this then.. is there maybe another part of my body that would be safer to drink from? Than say, my neck?”

The Lady smirked. “Mh, perhaps... your inner thigh would probably work.”

Alcina watched as a soft pink hue began to crawl across the human's cheeks. It was strikingly gorgeous basked in the firelight.

“O-oh.. well, ah.. that seems.. doable.”

A flash of crimson as her smirk widened. Her lover’s heartbeat quickening by the minute, thumping loudly over the soft crackle of the fire.

“Mhm.. are you certain? It may… hurt, quite a bit.”

Oh, how that blush grew even deeper at the Countess’ words. How exquisite it was. Alcina could feel the smugness seeping into the corners of her lips as she watched them fluster.

“I.. oh.. that's okay. I don't mind, my lady. R-really.” They replied, rubbing the back of their neck.

Not that they would've been the first of Alcina's suitors to be into pain. Far from it, in fact - it seemed to be a commonality in many of the lovers she had taken over the years. Whether it was just something that came with the territory - or more the fact that whenever they looked at her they found themselves thinking “big lady, break me” - either way, it was a noticeably recurring occurrence in the Countess’ love life.

“Very well.” Alcina replied, rising from the chair to her full height. “Pull up your skirt, pet, and take a seat.”

As dutiful as ever, her servant quickly obeyed and took their Lady's place on the large chair. A coy smile on their face as they pulled the simple fabric of their uniform past their upper thighs, exposing their supple flesh along with their dampened undergarments.

“Like this?” They asked with a smirk.

“Bold time for you to be acting bratty, pet. Don't you think?”

“Ah.. m-maybe?” They answered sheepishly.

“Mhm.”

And even though the Countess’ tone remained firm, she could only shake her head and chuckle as she lowered herself down to the fresh, warm meal that waited for her. A deep flush decorating the human’s cheeks as the Lady knelt in front of them, hands spreading their legs a little further apart for her.

“O-oh.. uh.”

The Countess looked at them curiously before leaning back. “If you're having second thoughts, pet-”

“N-no! I just.. ah.. this view is just.. really nice.”

An even smugger smirk grew across the Lady's lips. “Mhm.. is it now?”

“I mean.. yes?”

“Enjoy it while it lasts then, draga.. very rarely does one ever get me on my knees.”

The flushed servant almost choked in response as they quickly nodded, face as red as their employer’s lips.

“I.. mhm.. enjoying it. Yes.”

“Mh.. probably wet at just the sight, aren't you?” Alcina asked teasingly, forcing them to whine.

“A-alcinaa.. that's unfair.”

“And that's not an answer.”

The Countess' words grew a little darker, punctuating them with a firm scratch across the human's inner thigh, immediately pulling droplets of warm crimson to the surface.

They cursed. “Fine.. yes.. I am.”

“Mh.. good.”

A single sweep of her tongue over the fresh gash forced another whine from her lover, a fierce shiver rolling over their body. Alcina knew she was going to enjoy all of this maybe a little too much - but the needy sounds she could will from their lips was something she would never grow tired of. And as she leaned in a little further, with their metallic essence still warm in her mouth, she could smell just how aroused they already were.

Very good.

"Deep breaths now, pet. This is going to sting.”

They nodded softly in response, cheeks a brilliant hue and eyes widening the moment the Countess’ incisors began to lengthen, readying themselves to feed. Another swirl of her tongue over the spot she'd already marked. A rush of blood right below the surface, drawing the vampire directly to the proper vein. And as she gave her meal a final smirk, she took their thigh between two large hands and brought it to her mouth.

“Mmmph-!”

Whimpered breaths from her prey’s lips as sharp fangs seeped eagerly into their flesh.

“Mmmh.”

A subtle moan from within her own as she slowly drew their essence into her mouth, savoring the exquisite flavor of them. They tasted even better than she’d imagined - sweeter, more refined - with metallic undertones fueled by a life force that only made her all the more hungry.

“You taste divine, draga.” Alcina murmured, her words reverberating deep into their skin before her fangs were sunk back in again.

“Ah-!”

The subtle flinch to the muscle that laid just beneath her teeth, the soft moan that fell from their whispered lips - the Countess knew if she didn't keep her control that she could very easily become ravenous for their taste. The pulse of it flowing warmly over her tongue as she swallowed it down, indulging herself in the life that danced throughout it.

They would surely make an excellent wine.

And even though the thought was morbid to most - to Alcina, it was merely a compliment. One of the highest in fact. Though, she found all the best tasting humans tended to be the ones she had no desire of actually killing. Ones that inherently touched her heart and moved her soul. But hell if she didn't appreciate any chance she got at a taste.

Her lover's growing moans were the only thing to bring her back from her thoughts - from giving into the primal force that always sat just under the skin - ready to take over. But gods, could she smell how wet they were for her. How their body squirmed every time she drew a long pull of blood from them. Their flesh heated against her lips, their strong musk enveloping the tiny space between them. And out of the corner of her eye, Alcina could even see that the chair beneath the human was readily growing damper.

”Good”. She thought smugly, a smirk beneath her blood coated lips when she finally pulled away to look up at them.

"Am I to believe you're actually enjoying this, draga? Are you really so needy?”

They whined at her ridicule, squirming even more - her teasing tone and slightly taunting words having the exact effect on them that she wanted.

“You will answer me if you expect something done about it.” She demanded.

Another whine.

“F-fuck.. yes, okay? It's.. it feels good.”

“Mh. Better.”

The Lady placed a gentle kiss to their inner thigh and then brought two fingers to the hem of their underwear, swiftly ripping the fabric from their body. Her patented smirk growing even wider the moment the measure of their arousal was reflected in the firelight - they were absolutely dripping for her.

“Well, well.. all this for me?”

“All for you. A-always.”

“Charming, are we?”

Alcina went to move a little closer but felt them tense, immediately making her stop. A single eyebrow raised at them inquisitively.

“Draga?”

“It's just.. you're exhausted, Alcina.. you don't have to-”

“Hush. When have you ever known me to do something I haven't wanted?”

They chuckled, blushing sheepishly. “You have a point.”

“Plus,” she smirked, “I'm not quite finished with my meal yet.”

An even deeper blush. “O-oh. Alright, then.”

The Countess hummed in content when her lover finally relaxed, their head falling softly back. Their sweet scent immediately pulling her back in, lips quickly finding their pulse point while her fingers teased their entrance. With soft folds so wet that she found barely any resistance as she slid two fingers into them, generously stretching their core.

“Mmph-!”

A single curl as the Countess closed her eyes, allowing her fangs to sink deep into the human’s flesh once again.

“F-fuck-”

She couldn't help but to draw her gaze upward, to enjoy the view for just a moment. Her stunning love - flushed, legs spread - eyes closed softly in a mix of want and preparation. It truly were a shame, she thought, how mortal humans could be. To lose such a gorgeous sight was an offense to Alcina’s very being. That the world could ever lose such beauty? It was a thought that made her all the more eager - almost ravenous - to possessively stake her claim upon them.

To which she did..

With the Lady's fangs seeped deep within their flesh and her fingers buried in their core. Thrusting, curling. Matching the controlled pulls from their thigh as she feasted upon them. With each movement willing the most arousing sounds from her lover. Some breathy, some loud - moaning each and every time Alcina drove her fingers in a little harder. But it wasn't enough, not for her. The Countess wanted more. She wanted her name screamed out into the night in ecstasy. She wanted her claim imprinted into the stars themselves.

And she paid no mind to how many orgasms ripped across her lover's body. She cared not for how soaked both her fingers and the fabric below her became. Having now fed to her content, her mouth began moving onto marking the rest of their thighs. Nibbling and sucking over every inch of eager flesh that she could reach. Their essence dripping from the corners of her mouth and painting their skin in a dark crimson. Their body trembling, vibrating with desire until another orgasm ripped through them violently, finally forcing the Countess’ name from their tongue like a pious prayer. Their voice quickly falling to nothing more than a whisper - raw from unhindered pleasure.

“F-fuck, Alcina..”

“Mh, language.”

“Pretty sure.. it's warranted.”

Alcina chuckled before licking the excess blood from her lover's wounds, their thighs sufficiently covered in her claim.

“These should heal in a few days. I'll bring you some balm for them tomorrow.”

“Hm.. I like them, though.” The human pouted.

The Countess snorted. “Of course you do. My sweet little masochist.”

Feeling fully refreshed from her meal, Alcina had no intention of sleeping anytime soon, but she knew her handservant would certainly need rest after all of that. The loss of blood mixed with the intense dopamine boost would be enough to wipe anyone out. Without muttering a word, Alcina rose to her full height and picked up her lover's discarded underwear before lifting them up into her arms and into a full bridal carry.

“My lady-!”

“Hush, draga. You've lost a fair amount of blood, as well as other bodily fluids. You need to rest.” Even with the short walk from the library to the servants quarters, the body in her arms quickly grew heavy with sleep - the human’s breath nearly in a slumbered rhythm by the time they’d arrived.

“I’ll be back with some tea and something sweet for you, pet.” She said as she laid them gently onto their bed. “Please, try to drink and eat at least a little something before falling asleep.”

Her lover nodded tiredly, eyes heavy and cheeks flush with sleep.

“Mhm.. yes.. mistress…”

Alcina smiled and placed a tiny kiss to their cheek before walking towards the door. She was more than certain they'd be fast asleep by the time she returned, but she’d still do her best to make sure they woke up knowing just how much she treasured them.

Warm tea, their favorite pastry, some balm for their wounds and a note reading "Thank you for the exquisite meal, draga. Next time is on me. - xx, Alcina." would be there to greet them as soon as they woke up.

A/N: If I ever make it to 2k, I might just finally do some bottom!Alcina for you all 👀♥️

[lozchi]

I saw your last one shot with Taehoon and it's really cool, i like it a lot. could you write something with seong taehoon x fem reader, something soft where he is in middle school and he is in love with reader but they are not dating maybe before he met Do Woon or during their friendship(

Nothing.

A/N: saw the word "soft", couldn't reject Pairing: Taehoon Seong x F!Reader Themes: A lot more dialogue than usual, a little less language as well. :)

Sunny skies, chirping birds, the fresh air, the indistinct chattering of the students fill the hallways - You happily skid your way past classrooms, feeling like everything is aligning perfectly.

That is until, Taehoon steps in front of you with a scowl. You might be wondering what’s exactly got him so riled up. Though you know he's unlikely to spill if you ask, it doesn't hurt to try, especially when it's you.

”What’s gotten you in such a pissy mood?” You inquire, noting the tension in his expression on his oh-so-handsome face.

Gosh, how long you could stare at his kissable lips, ruffle with his hair and—

”I’m not in a pissy mood.” He retorts, followed by a faint “hmph”.

Yup. He’s definitely pissed.

Without warning, he grabs your arm and drags you to the library.

”Ugh! What’s with you today?”

You try to shove him away, but Taehoon is immovable as ever.

”Nothing.”

It’s definitely not nothing, particularly when he's unusually clingy, like a child seeking protection from his mother. Sure, he’s probably got mommy issues, but it isn’t this bad to the point he’s looking for a substitute.

Anyway, you aren’t a mind reader. So you’re not gonna stop being an inquisitive bitch until you get an answer. But before you can even voice your thoughts, Taehoon starts muttering.

”Remember the guy you helped when some twerps were bothering him?” He asks, avoiding your gaze.

You take a moment to recall the incident he's referring to, realizing soon enough who he means.

”Uh-huh. That guy from class E, I think? What about him?”

A heavy silence fills the air. Taehoon struggles to find the right words to express what's bothering him. You raise a brow, awaiting an explanation while he still struggles to speak. For about 15 seconds, he keeps his grip on your arm, though it gradually loosens when he finally speaks up again.

”He wants to ask you out.”

He finally mutters, seeming to realize that his own feelings aren't really relevant to the situation.

You take a moment to absorb his words before playfully smacking him on the cheek, causing him to flinch at your unexpected action.

Are you… teasing him?

"Is that why you looked so pissed today?” You ask with a chuckle.

“Are you jeal-”

”No.”

He bluntly replies, but his flushed face says so otherwise.

”Ugh, then why are you so troubled with the fact that he wants to ask me out?”

”I’m just, well…”

It's not like Taehoon has any right to be angry. After all, he spends most of his time with you, whether it's training in the dojang, playing Tekken at the arcade, or even the occasional sleepovers you both have. There's hardly a moment when you're apart, which might just stem from his internalized fear of being separated from you.

He's worried.

So worried, in fact, that the thought of having to let go of you terrifies him, consuming his thoughts entirely, that it’s probably inevitable that detatching himself from you is his only option.

”Forget it, just let me know when you’re going.” He finally concedes, his tone resigned.

Knowing Taehoon, it's either A.) he'll "casually" follow you during your date to "ensure your safety," or B.) the date won't happen at all. He won't fucking allow it. He won’t let it. No, not ever.

He releases your arm with a weary sigh, about to turn and leave, when you burst into laughter uncontrollably.

”Pfffft!\~ You’re so pathetic sometimes, y’know? How hard is it to admit that you’re jealous?”

”I am not!”

”You are\~”

You tease, a grin spreading across your face.

”Tch, whatever.”

He grumbles, unable to hide the slight flush creeping up his neck.

——

When you return to your classroom, a note sits on your desk, undoubtedly from the guy Taehoon mentioned. It reads, "Please meet me at the school gym after break.” the penmanship even better than yours and Taehoon’s combined.

”You’re not planning on going out with him, are ya?”

Taehoon asks, slyly slinging his arm around your shoulder.

”What do you think my answer will be?”

You reply smugly, pulling him closer.

”Das for you to tell me. What will it be?”

”Hmm, I dunno—”

”Oh, come on.”

Taehoon rolls his eyes in half-disbelief.

Soon enough, you make your way to the gym with Taehoon by your side. There's a bit of bickering and some comments from him about how it's a waste of time to go out with a schoolmate you barely speak to, suggesting it would be better to train with him instead.

As you spot the guy, Taehoon follows closely behind. You turn to face him, silently mouthing a "what" as he stays glued to your side.

”Dude, we need a moment.”

You whisper-shout, but he only rolls his eyes.

”Okay, fine. But if he does something wrong, just signal me and I won’t hesitate to jump him, kick his ass, ruin his life, fuck him up so bad- no, I don’t mean fuck fuck, but like ruin his life to the—”

And with that, you leave Taehoon behind, sighing hopelessly as he wonders if he'll ever muster the same courage as the boy confessing to you now. But for now, it seems like an impossible feat.

He watches from a distance, his expression stoic as he observes the bashful interaction between you and the boy.

”Fuck, maybe I am jealous.”

Taehoon grumbles, his lips pressing together tightly as his thoughts consume him.

What if he isn’t enough for you? What if his personality is a bit too much to handle? What if you really went out with someone else who isn’t- Taehoon? What if deep down, you know his feelings for you but you only decide to ignore because you’re not exactly sure how to reject him?

”What if—?”

"Taehoon, let's go."

You interject with a smile, breaking his train of thought. He stares back blankly as you inquire;

"You alright?”

A part of him—no, every fiber of his being wishes you had rejected the boy. He doesn't want you with anyone else. It's selfish, he knows, but he's unwilling to let you slip away, unwilling to waste a moment he can't spend with you. Fucking cringy as it may sound, it's the truth.

”What did you tell him?” Taehoon asks nonchalantly, trying to mask his inner turmoil.

"I told him if you couldn't come, I wasn't interested. Then he mentioned it was supposed to be a date, and you could come as the third wheel.” ”And then?” "I couldn't picture you agreeing to just being a third wheel, so I said no.”

You reply with a shrug.

Taehoon cartwheels internally, trying his hardest not to smile with the information you just gave him. He silently celebrates the fact that you prioritized HIM over a potential date. Deep down, he wants to shout with joy, scream “FUCK YEAH, TAKE THAT, PUSSY!” But of course, he suppresses all his emotions.

”Then, are you free after school tomorrow?” ”Uh-huh.” ”What about the day after tomorrow?” ”Yup!” ”And the day after that?” ”I have cram school but I’ll make some time for you.” ”What about the day after…”

As the two of you stroll outside the campus, engaged in a lighthearted, nonsensical conversation, Taehoon discreetly pulls out pieces of paper out of his pockets.

"What are those?" You inquire, your curiosity piqued by his secretive actions.

"Nothing."

He replies casually, though there's a mischievous glint in his eye as he swiftly empties his pockets, throwing a collection of love letters from other students (that have been sent your way, perhaps out of protectiveness or simply to spare you the hassle of dealing with them yourself)into a nearby bin.

He clings onto your arm once more; ”Nothing important at all.”

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/16/2024

how your backyard hurricane go, the houston area? pretty good it doesn't seem

to be clear other than losing everything in my fridge and developing some mold around the windowframes IM personally fine and so are the girls and so is the lair. we lost power sunday afternoon and got it back friday morning (upside down smiley emoji x16)

listening

THREE CANONICALLY BISEXUAL CLUB BANGERS!!! also, trying out a new thing with spotify and youtube videos for songs bc my readership is about 70/30 and i want to streamline the process of actually listening to new music for ppl. it must be really annoying this week but that's bc there's three songs. sorry. it will rarely be this long

anyway.

ANXIETY by Lilyisthatyou is new to me, off the spotify autogenerated dance playlist. a chiller groove in the spelling-things-out genre of dance music. VERY flashy-lights music vid fyi

Why do I feel so alone? Does it show That I'm dancing to fill the void with pretty girls and pretty boys?

i know about kesha's joyride bc i happen to be an alive queer woman. im SO happy kesha is also alive and making music more regularly. this one is canonically bisexual bc kesha is bisexual. also a really flashy-lights lyric video. the most classically recession-pop/early KESHA sound of all three tuesdaysongs this week. im always fascinated when an accordion shows up.

Rev my engine ’til you make it purr Keep it kinky, but I come first Beep-beep, bitch, I'm outside Get in, loser, for the joyride

thank u new releases spotify playlist. also canonically bisexual bc the singer is, also an early KESHA feel but she is a metal artist first and foremost. very fun to headbang to at a stop light. i don't totally Love how it's an emasculating song but given how dudes in the metal scene generally are? i think she should make it more emasculating actually

Take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg) If you're a macho man then beg (And beg and beg and beg) Bend you over the bed (The bed the bed the bed) It's time to take you down a peg (And peg and peg and peg)

-

reading

fun fact i still haven't seen this movie. i got this from the library the day before the hurricane proper and it gave me a really lovely two hours of not thinking about the active hurricane the day after. enormous format photographs! full-length shots of every look! ithe little personal notes from each designer were so fun to read, and i think this genuinely healed my heart a little. everyone was so excited to go into detail about what choices they made and what inspired them, and even though i would have loved more specific construction details, specific fiber types, and full-length shots of the Back of every look, i recognize i am a freak.

-

watching

watched a truly bonkers assortment of films at my bestie's house this week. her husband is big into godzilla and i sat down not really paying attention or planning to pay attention to Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024, dir. Wingard) but found myself actually paying attention. i unfortunately was a character i hate, Person Who Stops The Movie Halfway Through To Demand A Recap. loved these guys, whatever the fuck they were

the most fun thing about this movie is that it is not a silent film but it acts like one. there are long, long stretches of movie without dialogue bc all the political action is happening between a bunch of giant monkeys. this is going to sound like im damning it with faint praise but they really thought carefully about directorial and artistic choices here! there was a vision and they executed it! it's fun to look at and not just because there's a big monkey in most of the shots!

-

playing

got a look at characters for the new fire-themed land coming up this fall. ppl are understandably big mad that the land is based on Ring of Fire cultures and everyone is paper-white. i think it is correct to be mad and ask them to do better, and they have tweaked designs before release before, however, i don't think this will bring about a sea change in gacha games.

i am rolling along clearing out map markers and achievement hunting and my GOD are there a lot of time-gated achievements in inazuma (electricity-themed legally-not-japan). so so so many of them i originally got halfway through or did 1/5 and then wandered off bc i didn't realize there was a quest or achievement locked behind doing something for three or five days in a row. i now have a post-it on the corner of my monitor with nine different things i have to keep checking in on this week. please someone give me a REAL JOB!!!!!!

-

making

cross stitch progress. this was the only thing i did last week aside from shake like a chihuahua and sleep. very slow going! may have to ship the package off to my brother with an IOU bc it is already stressfully late.

made the bean influencer soup (creamy miso coconut butter beans). i made a batch before the hurricane last week so most of my notes are from then. the grocery did not have canned butter beans so i made the same thing (big lima beans) from dry. i have not made beans from dry since i was very small. these beans were so large, so pale, so aggressive.

changes: i was able to find a little carton of straight coconut cream at the grocery but they were out of miso paste. i did have miso soup mix and plopped that in. i also used frozen spinch bc it’s cheaper and i felt better about it than the somewhat questionable fresh spinch on offer. also used two onions instead of one and a hearty dollop of minced jarred garlic bc who do u think i even fucking am. i would have loved to use fresh dill, bc i did plant some and it was growing very well, but the caterpillars were very intense and ate almost everything on my balcony.

going in the rotation! im making it AGAIN as im typing up this post! pretty cheap, very tasty, i don't regularly keep butter beans or coconut cream in my pantry but that can change!

[yazthebookish]

Bryce, Nesta and Azriel Bonus Chapter Reaction

P.s. this is my second read 👀

Bryce cracked open an eye, surveying her two companions.

Nesta sat against the opposite wall, head down, breathing lightly.

But Azriel was staring right at Bryce. She started, whacking her head against the rock. White pain splintered across her vision. By the time it cleared, Nesta was awake.

I HOWLED at this part 😂😂😂😂

"What is it?" Nesta peered down the tunnel to one side, then the other.

Bryce rubbed the back of her aching head and sat up. "Oh, nothing. Just your usual predator-in-the-night warrior, staring at me while I sleep."

"You weren't sleeping," Azriel said, faint amusement in his voice.

Bryce was insufferable but her commentary was fucking hilarious. PREDATOR IN THE NIGHT WARRIOR 😭😭

"Were you really watching her sleep?"

Azriel glowered. "When you say it like that, it sounds... unsavory."

At least he's self-aware.

"We defeated Hybern," Azriel confirmed. A glance toward Truth-Teller at his side. Then at Nesta. "Nesta beheaded the King of Hybern herself."

Bryce blinked. "Badass," she breathed.

It was a group effort but even in ACOSF no one gives Elain the credit (except Lucien in ACOWAR).

Nesta's back stiffened. "My mother would be thrashing in her grave if she knew I was a warrior-if she knew I wore trousers every single day and that I'm mated to a Fae male. I can't tell what would have horrified her more: me marrying a poor human man or becoming what I am now."

Nesta I'm so proud of you 🥹

Bryce jerked her chin toward Azriel. "You've got the broody look of someone with an awful mother, too. Care to share?"

Nesta snorted. "Az never talks about his mother, and neither will our friends, so I'm guessing she's even worse."

The Illyrian snarled softly, "My mother is anything but awful."

Nesta tensed, like she was surprised she'd gotten such a response from him. "I was joking. Az, I didn't even know-"

"I don't want to discuss this," Azriel cut her off coldly.

I'm so excited to meet Az's mother but I know learning of her story will break my heart. I think she might still be dealing with both physical and mental scars and that's why Az is fiercely protective of her, otherwise why would Cassian in ACOSF even think about if Az tried to convince his mother to come live in the Library.

"So that ... phone of yours," Nesta said suddenly, as if eager to change the subject for all their sakes. "You said earlier it has music inside it?"

Bryce's advantage here is music because she won over Nesta so easily (at least during this moment).

"Stone Mother" began playing, its rolling, thumping drums offsetting the wild, yet mellow, guitars. And then Josie's voice filled the tunnel, sharp and yet soaring, accented by Laurel's sweet, clear backups. The sound was foreign, earthy-haunting. In the span of a few notes, Bryce was back in her childhood bedroom in Nidaros, sprawled on the carpet, letting the sound of the music run over her for the first time.

This song had carried her through it all-through the years of pain and emptiness and rebuilding. It had carried her from light into darkness and then back into the light.

I don't know if the name choice for the song is intentional but if it's inspired by the myths it feels like an indirect nod to Theia/Fionn/Aidas (which we learn about soon after this scene) or even Ember/Randall/Autumn King.

This was one of my favorite dances. It's from a ballet called The Glass Coffin." Bryce hit play again, and the violins began.

This is definitely a nod to Vesperus who they found in a clear quartz sarcophagus 👀

Again, Nesta was silent, knees now clutched to her chest, staring into the darkness. As if she was dedicating every inch of herself to listening.

"This sounds like some of our music," Azriel murmured. Nesta shushed him.

Nesta is so entranced by it.

Two hours later, they were walking again. Maybe Azriel had been interested enough in the music that he'd let them linger.

He is a singer after all 😏

Nesta had clapped her hands over her ears at the screaming, wailing death metal, but Azriel had chuckled.

He'd probably get along with Ruhn and his idiot friends.

It comes at no surprise that Az in the modern world would be a metalhead.

Nesta had loved the classical stuff the best, and both of them had been intrigued by the pulsing, thumping club music. "That is what you dance to in your world?" Nesta asked. Bryce hadn't been able to tell if she was intrigued or dismayed. Azriel, at least, had seemed on board.

My mans was ready to break a leg right then and there in the tunnels I know it.

"So you guys have swords and stuff?"

"Something like that," Azriel hedged. He clearly wasn't going to enlighten her about their defenses.

"And your magic is ...”

"Don't push it," Azriel said, a hint of that earlier chill entering his voice.

Nesta's lips thinned at the tone, like she was remembering it, Like it didn't sit right with her.

Az's attitude switches up so fast even Nesta is wary of it. He needs a long holiday.

Bryce asked Nesta, "You have a mate, right?" She nodded to Azriel. "Do you?"

"No," Azriel said quickly, flatly.

"A partner or spouse?"

"No."

Bryce sighed. "Okay, then."

Azriel's wings twitched. "You're incurably nosy."

"I think that's the nicest thing you've said about me." Bryce winked at him.

Bryce hit him where it hurts the most 🤣 it's always fun to have confrontational characters interact with him because the IC tend to walk around eggshells when it comes to Az.

Nesta asked, "Without firstlight, would your world become like ours, do you think?"

Bryce considered. "I don't see another way to power our cars or phones, so... probably."

Post-apocalyptic Midgard in CC4.

"You can do good," Azriel warned, "while still being bad."

Bryce whistled. "I know a number of males back home who could only dream of delivering that sentence with such cool."

I wonder if this is more about him than anything else...

Nesta laughed again. "If you weren't our captive," she said, shaking her head, "I think 1 might like to call you a friend, Bryce Quinlan."

I knew if there was anyone who would have bonded with Bryce from ACOTAR, it would be Nesta.

Did it matter? The Fae in Midgard weren't her problem, and she didn't want them to be, but what if they could be more? Was such a change possible?

A lot of the resentment Bryce feels towards her the Fae in Midgard reminds me of how Az feels about the Illyrians.

Nesta went on, "I'm stronger, faster. Harder to kill. I don't see a downside to that."

"And the near-immortal life span isn't so bad, huh?" Bryce leased.

"I'm still adjusting to the idea of that," Nesta said, eyes on the tunnel ahead. "That time is so ... vast. The day-to-day versus the sprawl of centuries." She slid her attention to Azriel. "How do you deal with it?"

He was quiet for a moment before saying, "Find people you love-they make the time pass quickly." He caught Nesta's eye. and said a shade apologetically, "Especially if they'll forgive your occasional snapping at them over things that aren't their fault."

Something seemed to soften in Nesta's eyes-relief, perhaps, ar the extended olive branch. She said quietly, tentatively, "Nothing to forgive, Az."

I love this part so much!! Az and Nesta have such a special bond. Him including her among the people he loves 🥹 he's at least aware about his own faults.

But his words had lightened some of the remaining tension.

And his next ones finished the job entirely as he winked at Nesta. "And I've been told having children makes the time fly, too."

Nesta rolled her eyes, but Bryce didn't miss the gleam in them.

Nesta was willing to play-to get back to their normal dynamic.

She admitted, "I wouldn't know the first thing about how to raise a child." She pointed to herself. "Raised by a terrible mother, remember?"

"Doesn't mean you'll be one." Azriel said gently.

Azriel said I want Nessian babies 🤣

I just know Nesta would be a wonderful mother and it kind of reflects the reality of how a lot of people who've had toxic parents feel about having a family.

My mother was even worse to Feyre-and my sister has turned out to be..." She searched for the word. "A perfect mother."

This makes me happy 🥹 I miss Feyre

"What do you want to hear?" Bryce asked, opening her music library.

Nesta and Azriel swapped glances, and the male answered a bit sheepishly, "The music you play at your pleasure halls."

Bryce laughed. "Are you a club rat, Azriel?"

He glowered at her, earning a smirk from Nesta, but Bryce played one of her favorite dance tunes-a zippy blend of thumping bass and saxophones, of all things.

And as the three of them walked into the endless dark, she could have sworn she caught Azriel nodding along to the beat.

Az you're proving her point about being a club rat 🤣 I love that SJM emphasized not only Nesta's but Az's fondness for music.

She hid her smile and played song after song, until the battery on her phone drained to the dregs. Until tha ast, beauiful link to Midgard went dark and died.

No more music. No more pictures of Hunt.

This part hurts.

And with each mile onward, she could hear Azriel humming softly to himself. The rolling, wild melody of "Stone Mother" flowed off his lips, and she could have sworn even the shadows danced at the sound.

His shadows dancing to HIS SOUND 😭❤️ and there is only one other person who the shadows ever danced around.

I mentioned it before but one of my headcanons was about when Az is spying or on a mission and he's waiting somewhere, he sings and his shadows dance around him 🥹

[kageyamaana]

With A New Classmate Comes New Discoveries

Day 3- Classmates/Lunch/Broth

No one could make sense of what had been happening these last few weeks.

But they could say with no fear that it started when Kim Roksoo, a new transfer student that came from Mogoru School to their Roan High School in the middle of the year, arrived for his first day as their new classmate.

Everyone knew Cale Henituse as trash, violent and mean

But when Roksoo seated himself beside him, the only free seat, he didn’t say or do anything like he normally would.

Oh, wrong since Cale did something.

He pouted, Cale Henituse fucking pouted when Kim Roksoo seated beside him.

Of course that wasn’t the only strange thing that happened or that they saw that is freaking them so much.

There were many moments to lead them to be like this.

Like that one time they saw Roksoo falling asleep in the middle of the history class and his head was going to fall into his table but Cale stopped it from happening and made Roksoo lay his head on his shoulder.

There was also that one time that some girls found them sitting so close, Cale almost in Roksoo’s lap, as they worked on their homework in the library.

Let’s not forget the time that a boy swears on his mother’s life that he saw Cale kiss Roksoo’s cheek before Roksoo brought him closer as if he was going to kiss him on the mouth but Cale hit him before he could do that.

Ah! And that one time Roksoo fainted during P.E and after the class ended the class president went to see if he was alright just to see Cale lecture Roksoo but Roksoo seemed not he hearing him as he looked at Cale with a familiar look but the student couldn’t put a finger on what that look meant.

So many more happened and their classmates were close to pushing their own hair off as they tried to make sense of it.

And finally one of them lost her patience and decided to approach Roksoo as Cale went to grab their lunch which Cale himself had cooked but left in his locker(they didn’t even know the rich young master even knew what a rice cooker was!).

“Excuse me” the girl says as she approaches Roksoo

“Hmm?” Roksoo hums sleepily

“What is your relationship with Cale Henituse?” she asks directly and with no fear making their classmates look at her in surprise

“My relationship with Cale? Why do you want to know?” Roksoo asks confused

“Well, we have never seen Cale act like this with anyone so we got curious” she admits a part of it because she couldn’t say that seeing Cale act like this was freaking them so much, her best friend even said that Cale seemed like he was acting as Roksoo’s wife which freaked her even more(mostly because she had to admit that Cale would be hot as a woman and imagining him as such made her gay panic)

“Hmm, I see” Roksoo hums “I’m his classmate like you all” he says and the girl is ready to tell him to not lie but is stopped “But I am also his boyfriend” he adds making everyone look at him open mouthed not expecting this at all “So, I would be very thankful if you left us alone” he says as he gets up at the same time Cale returns with their lunch

“Something wrong, Roksoo?” Cale asks noticing the state of their classmates

“Nothing, they were just surprised that despite having fallen asleep in class I knew what the teacher had been teaching” Roksoo says and Cale hums at that “Let’s go have in the rooftop, I wanna take a nap” he adds as he puts an arm around Cale’s waist and guides him out of the classroom

“Another one?” Cale asks in disbelief “ Are you sure you aren’t a cat?” he says but the classmates are unable to hear what Roksoo answers or anything else they said as they were already far enough for them to not hear them

“...What the hell?” someone mumbles in shock and disbelief but they are all share the same sentiment as them

[evilpenguinrika]

Fuck sorry no okay I thought of something more for my Hosie Jujutsu Kaisen AU

ok ok ok so Mikaelson family are like infamous. So I think in this AU, it would make sense if they're part of the Big Three Families (like Gojo clan, Kamo clan, Zen'in clan).

The other family that would be part of the BTF would I think be the Gemini Coven (I think I'll leave them as that name instead of like idfk listen I only watched LGCS and TO bear with me here I'm so sorry) as that is the only logical thing in my mind (also, I have decided that everyone in the Gemini Coven's Domain Expansion is called Prison World--because again, iirc they're the only ones on the show that can create a prison world so it would make sense--but like each of their Prison World Domain would be different/represents the person themselves. So like Josie's Domain Expansion: Prison World would maybe have something to do with school library/studying to reflect her character from LGCS or IDK I didn't think THAT far ahead other than everyone in the Gemini Coven's Domain Expansion is called Prison World)

For the third family that's part of the Big Three Families, I think it'd be interesting if it was Malivore.

We didn't get a lot about Malivore in LGCS other than he's just a goopy goop that wipes out a creature's existence if they fall into him. So I think if I were to just make Malivore into just. A guy or more like, a powerful family (I've already made some Malivore lore for my Hosie Omegaverse fic that I haven't touched in a while) would help me figure out a better way to write this apparent Hosie JJK AU fic that I've decided I will now hyperfixate on. And it would be nice to rope in other characters and figure their story out and their relationship to the main premise of why I'm writing out this long-ass ramble about a niche AU/crossover lmao (like maybe Landon and Rafael get accepted into Jujutsu High after they experienced some deep shit with curses--kinda similar to how they got brought to Salvatore school. Landon, like in the show, doesn't know he's actually from the Malivore family and discovers this along the way with Hope and the twins and Super Squad and oh man if this supposed one-shot AU fic becomes a series I will punt myself into the sun)

And I think it would help me figure out even MORE on how to turn this AU into a Hosie thing.

Originally I was wondering--because of age--Hope would be a 3rd year while Josie and Lizzie would be 1st years, but I wanted Hope and the twins to be more of like a team. I don't know I'll try and figure this bit out. But I think maybe they knew each other when they were younger and ofc Josie has a crush on Hope since childhood because of how cool and pretty Hope is and as they grew up, that childhood crush turns into like full on Josie is pining mad hard for Hope.

Oh yeah, so, Hope would 100% without a doubt be a Special-Grade Sorcerer to reflect her Tribrid status. it just makes sense.

The twins, because I've decided that they do have curse energy but it's so fucking faint that it feels as though they don't... Maybe they'd be 1st or 2nd-Grade Sorcerers. I'll have to go back and read up on the different Grades (or maybe use this as an excuse to rewatch JJK teehee)

Anyways, sorry, back to the Hosie wow I'm sorry I am rambling anyway

So yeah, I think it's a "they fell first but they fell harder" thing. Though I do want to bring in the canon fact that Hope had a crush on Josie in her teens into this AU somehow. I mean maybe she still does. Maybe Josie continues to crush on Hope and sees how amazing of a sorcerer she is and wants to get stronger as a sorcerer so she can feel worthy to stand beside Hope and fight alongside her.

Hope probably develops a crush on Josie when Josie comforts Hope and is there for her when something happened to the Mikaelson family--or more specifically Hope's parents, leaving her an orphan. Hope appreciates Josie's warmth and kindness and maybe notices her more now (kinda also like in the show, ESPECIALLY the "quiet things heard" episode. like Hope being hyperaware and perceptive with/about Josie in that quiet way and secretly looking out for her is hella cute).

The brain bees are ruminating. I'm gonna have to really plan this out properly if I'm going to make this AU work

hopefully this will just be a one-shot fanfic but you know what. wouldn' be surprised if I end up making a whole multi-chapter fic for this.

[kharia-adarkim]

Restless

Several months had passed since the Endsinger was laid low, and a sense of normalcy was returning to Eithirys.

In a private study room of the Sharlayan library, Kharia lifted an empty mug to her lips. After a brief, confused pause, she groaned and set it back on the table with a heavy thud. She briefly considered throwing the mug at the 'request mammet' button near the door. However, she realized that that would probably shatter the mug, and stood from the table with a groan.

"You should probably call it for tonight," a voice murmured in the back of her mind. "You aren't going to learn much half asleep."

"Are you a professor now?" Kharia replied, rolling her eyes.

"No," Ardbert chuckled, "but I've got a century on you in terms of experience."

"Being a ghost hardly counts for life experience," Kharia grumbled. He did have a point though - the clock on the wall read 1:28, and considering she didn't start her studies 'til after dinner, that meant it was far too late. She held the button, waiting for the telltale buzz to sound before releasing it. Returning to the desk with a yawn, she began stacking her notes and placing bookmarks into her tomes.

"Why did you sign us up for an accelerated course again?" Kharia's other self complained.

"First of all Red, we're not taking classes, I am," Kharia replied, "And secondly, the normal somanoutics course runs for a full year and I didn't want to wait that long."

"I still don't understand why the Source has so many regulations on healing magic," Ardbert mused. "Back on Norvrandt, you just... did it."

"Green wanted to do things the hard way," Red answered, "We could've gone to Gridania to learn conjury but no, we had to go to stuck up prick town instead."

"Fuck off," Green snapped, "you know damn well we can't do traditional magic. A sage's arts are the best shot we have at helping people."

"We help people by chopping up bad guys!" Red exclaimed. She was going to continue when the argument was halted by a knock at the door. Kharia took a deep breath before opening it. A Sharlayan mammet stood at attention.

"What... is your... request..?" it chittered in a mechanical voice.

"We're done with the room for now," Kharia answered, "but need to keep the books on hold. Please index my things for later."

"Affirmative. Please... provide... student... identification... for... indexing..."

"Adarkim, Kharia. Student S121-24."

"Bzzt... Thank you... Miss... Adarkim... For using... the Sharlayan... Library!" The mammet said in the most cheerful tone it was capable of. Kharia gave it a small wave goodbye as she left for the Baldesion Annex.

As late as it was, Ojika wouldn't be at the front desk, but fortunately Kharia had her own key to the dormitory wing. Plus, his absence meant she wouldn't be getting an earful about proper sleeping habits, so perhaps it was better this way. The annex itself was still, and the only sounds were the faint click of Kharia's heels on the stone floor. She paused, briefly, outside of G'raha's room. He was probably sleeping, like she should be, and while he'd never complain about her dropping in, she didn't want to disturb him. She turned to leave when she heard a faint, frustrated voice from the other side of the door. She couldn't tell what was said, or if they were words at all, but it didn't sound particularly good. Quietly, she opened G'raha's door and peered inside. The room was dark, save the thin beam of light from the hall. It was enough, however, for Kharia to see that G'raha was sitting upright in bed, clenching at his arm.

"Damn it..." he winced under his breath, "Why..? How..? Agh-!" Kharia whispered the command word to her nouliths, and they dutifully floated up behind her. She stepped into the room, and the faint blue light from her tools lit the chamber. G'raha's face turned and he gave a forced smile. "Kharia? What are you doing here at this hour?"

"Did you hurt yourself?" she asked, taking a seat next to him.

"It's nothing," he lied, quickly adjusting his posture. "I'm fine."

"Raha," Kharia said firmly. The miquote sighed.

"I swear to you, I've suffered no injuries. It's just-" he winced, and took a breath. "Ever since returning from the First, I've had dreams of my time as the Exarch. It's not unexpected, or surprising, of course.... But sometimes, the dreams are astonishingly vivid. It's as if I'm there, as if I'm him." G'raha paused, as if surprised by his own words. "That's a bit silly, isn't it? I mean, of course I'm him. I..." he trailed off, unsure of where he was going.

"Raha," Kharia said again, gently this time. "Are you, though? Are you truly the Exarch?"

"What do you mean? You know what happened with the Tower. A- and the soul vessel. I can remember everything that happened on the First, I- of course I'm him! I have to be! To suggest otherwise it- it doesn't make any sense..." Kharia noticed his poor attempt to hide his rising panic. She took a deep breath, adjusted her posture, and squeezed his hand.

"You don't have to be him," she assured him. G'raha looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"You... your... What did you do? Something's... different about you."

"That's because I am," Red replied. "Different, I mean. We're..." she paused, trying to find the right words. "There are two of me. Two different souls, tied together, in our body. We call ourselves Red and Green."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Ardbert's voice laughed in the back of their head.

"We'll get to you later," Green scolded, "stop distracting Red."

"Anyways," Red continued, "the two of us, we share memories sometimes. And feelings. But in spite of that, we're still own people. Green can explain it a lot better, but we felt that I'd do a better job of getting the point across."

"And that point is..?" G'raha was clearly confounded by this information, but the tilt of his ears suggested he was eager to learn more. Kharia let out a reassured sigh and continued.

"Just because you share the Exarch's memories, his pain... that doesn't mean you're him. If a nagging feeling in your gut says those memories, those emotions aren't yours, then maybe they're not. Maybe the soul fusion didn't go as perfectly as the Exarch had planned. And that's okay." G'raha sat silently, though the nervous flicking of his tail belied his anxiety. After some consideration, he finally spoke.

"Supposing that's true... if I'm not the Exarch... if his feelings aren't my own... then does that mean the feelings for you..?" He couldn't bring himself to voice his fear in its entirety. Kharia saw the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. She cupped his cheek and tilted his head to face her directly.

"What is your heart telling you?" she asked, wiping a tear away with her thumb. G'raha smiled, and began to cry tears of relief. He collapsed into Kharia's embrace.

"Thank you, Kharia," he wept. "I think I finally understand now, just a bit."

"We're here for you," she whispered. "If you want to talk about it, we'll be here to listen. And if you have questions, we'll help you find the answers. But for now, you can relax, and rest."

"Take your own advice," Ardbert suggested, "we need a bit of shuteye too." As G'raha's tears dried and his panic subsided, Kharia stood to return to her own dorm.

"Kharia, wait," G'raha called out to her. She turned. His blushing was visible in spite of the blue light of the nouliths. "You can sleep here. I mean, if you'd like. It's late, and your dorm is on the second floor, and I-"

"Of course I'll stay Raha" Kharia giggled at the miquote's awkwardness. G'raha averted her gaze, but he could do nothing to stop the twitch of his ears and the rapid flicking of his tail. Kharia returned to the bed, and snuggled up to him beneath the blanket. Though she could feel his heart racing, she knew this was the most comfortable either of them had been in quite some time.

[copiaslilrat]

Riding in the Shadows Behind You: Chapter 1

Sibling Eros has a chance encounter with a certain Cardinal with a secret after working late one night. Both of them are introverted and quite frankly extremely awkward, but they find that they simply just cannot get enough of each other. Could this be a match made in Hell?

Read here or on AO3 :) Feel free to message me a scene request if you have one ♡

Content: Copia/Dracopia x Original NB Character, fluff and smut (18+), vampires, watch two awkward idiots slowly fall in love and fuck about it, literally nothing bad happens /gen, no plot all vibes

Sibling Eros has had enough for one night.

They groan and rub their eyes before gently closing the cover to the ancient tome in front of them. It was dreadfully boring content, which is likely why Papa Terzo had assigned them to do the work for him. Eros enjoys reading, but one can only take so many paragraphs about the various properties of herbs used in rituals before they start to fuel their grip on reality slip away.

They stand and straighten out their cassock, which had be rumpled from hours of sitting. Cassocks are traditionally not designed for bodies like theirs, but upon request to have one instead of needing to don a habit, Terzo had been more than willing to have a set custom-tailored for them. He really is a good Papa, Eros thinks in an attempt to justify having spent their Saturday night in a stuffy library, reading about plants.

They snuff out the candle flame on the reading table they had been using and make their way out of the library. A gentle thunderstorm rumbles outside, the pattering of rain on the stained glass windows providing background noise to an otherwise silent abbey. It had to have been well past midnight at this point—very few others would be awake.

Which is why Eros is startled to see a figure striding up to them in the main corridor. They squint their eyes in the darkness, straining to see who it might be. Whoever they are, he can tell by their clothing that they aren’t a Sibling.

“Hello?” They venture. The Satanic Ministry’s abbey is one of the safest places they can be, on account of the magical wards that get put up every night. They have no reason to be fearful or expect danger, and yet…

As the figure gets closer, they notice one white eye standing out against the darkness. This narrows it down to four people in the entire abbey.

“Sibling Eros,” a low voice with a thick Italian accent greets.

Eros recognizes Cardinal Copia immediately. The Cardinal tends to keep to himself, but no one has ever said a bad word against the man. Eros has always been rather fond of him, but mostly from a distance. Aside from a few of their Siblings, they tend to be just as reclusive as he is.

“Cardinal! What are you doing up this late?” Eros asks. As he continues to approach, they notice that something is…off. He gait is unbalanced and stumbling, as if he were drunk. “Do you need some help?”

“Sí, but, eh…” Copia stammers. “Promise me you will not freak out when I ask you.”

Their curiosity is fully piqued at this point. “I will do my best not to.”

They eye the older man as he comes to a stop before them. He’s dressed sharply in fitted black trousers and a black button-down, the sleeves rolled up to the middles of his forearms. His Cardinal paint of eyes swathed in black with a matching painted upper lip seems unblemished despite the faint sheen of sweat clinging to his face. His chestnut hair, streaked with patches of silver, is normally slicked back from his face, but is presently in disarray. Eros has always found him strikingly handsome, and his wholesome awkwardness only adds to the appeal, in their opinion.

“I am…thirsty,” Copia says. His speech is slurred slightly and he seems as if he’s going to topple over at any moment.

Eros laughs softly at this. “I think you have had more than enough to drink tonight, Cardinal. May I escort you to your chambers?”

Copia looks as if he’s about to reject the offer, but decides against it. “Maybe that is for the best, sorello.”

They offer him a warm smile and let him sling his arm around their shoulder for support. “Please, just call me Eros.”

Copia nods his acknowledgment. They are about the same height, and he can mostly walk on his own, so they make it to Copia’s chambers without much incident or struggle.

“What is it that you wanted to ask of me, Cardinal?”

He smiles, but avoids eye contact. “Would you like to come inside for a moment?”

Eros’ eyebrows raise. It would not do well to get ahead of themself, but they certainly weren’t expecting Copia to be so forward. They didn’t even know he was interested in them in any capacity, but Eros feels personally obligated to see this odd side-quest to its end, and so they shrug and agree to his request.

Copia unlocks the door to his chambers and holds the door open for Eros, motioning for them to enter. They step inside, unsurprised that his living space is cozily decorated. Understanding this from their own habits, people who spend so much time by themselves tend to like having a comfortable safe space to retreat to at the end of the day.

The walls are painted the same dark forest green as every other bedroom, but the furnishings are all matching dark brown wood, and white candles cover almost every available surface. He has numerous bookshelves packed full of what appear to be mostly history texts, but Eros recognizes some works of fiction in there as well. Copia turns on a small lamp beside the black leather couch in the living room and turns to face them.

“Well,” he says. “I suppose I should just come out and say it.”

Eris swallows nervously and fidgets with the fringe on their cincture, which has already started to unravel from past and frequent bouts of fidgeting. A flash of lightning illuminates the visage of a stained-glass Baphoment in the nearby window, followed by a long roll of thunder.

Copia steps close enough to Eros that their bodies are almost touching. Their breath hitches in their chest at the proximity.

“Cardinal, I didn’t realize…”

Copia notes their flushed cheeks and verous demeanor. “Oh! Sathanas, no, it is not like that. Not to say that I am not, eh…never mind.” He finishes quickly.

Eros feels a regrettable pang of disappointment, but is moreso just further confused by his strange behavior. “Then what is it?”

This close together, they can see the concern etched into his face. Copia smiles at him, this time flashing his teeth. Eros’ confusion only grows; sure, they’re nice teeth, but—

Their eyes widen in surprise. “Unholy fuck, are those fangs?”

Copia’s expression is unreadable. “Sí.”

“So, you’re a vampire?” Eros feels that they are taking this revelation remarkably well. Weirder things have come to light since they were initiated into the abbey’s congregation.

He blinks at their nonchalance before nodding once.

“And…you’re thirsty.”

“For blood, sí. As it happens.”

Eros has approximately a million questions about this, but asking any of them right now feels like an impossible feat. “How many people know about this?”

“Only my fratelli. And you, now, too, I suppose.”

“Why trust me?” Eros fears that they already know the answer to this question.

“Because I am in desperate need of assistance with this, and you were the only one who happened to be around. I was pacing the abbey’s halls to try and distract myself from the thirst, but then you…you…” Copia’s eyes unfocus, his pupils dilating to a discomforting size as his gaze falls to Eros’ neck.

This was absolutely not how they were expecting tonight—or any night, for that matter—to play out.

But Eros is very tired and fond of the strange little man who is also apparently a vampire, and they really just want this chapter pf their night to be concluded. “Okay, sure. You can have some of my blood, I guess.”

Copia looks absolutely delighted at this. “Really? Oh, grazie, Eros, truly.” He takes a step closer to them, and they resist the urge to take a step back. “I did not want to have to go out in this storm and find someone who would very likely be an unwilling participant in this whole affair. It is really the worst part of being what I am.” Copia pauses, noticing their apparent discomfort. “I am sorry. I tend to ramble when I am nervous. Are you sure you are okay with this?”

Eros’ face scrunches slightly. “Does it hurt?”

Copia offers a reassuring smile. “Just a pinch at the beginning, and then I promise that I will be very gentle with you. It will only take me a few moments and then you can be on your way.” He casts a nervous glance towards the door. “You can also just leave now, if you wish. I will not force you into doing this; all I ask is that you keep this a secret between us.”

“It’s alright, Cardinal. I want to help,” Eros says. They unbutton their cassock slightly to allow him easier access to their neck. “I’m also morbidly curious. Just don’t kill me, okay?”

They had meant that as a joke, but Copia’s expression indicates that he took that very seriously. “Of course. I would never harm you, or anyone, for that matter.”

Eros nods, touched by his sincerity. Copia places a hand on their upper back and guides them over to the couch. He sits down first, and then playfully pats his lap. Sensing Eros’s hesitation, Copia explains. “For your first time, I highly suggest sitting down, and it is much easier and much less awkward for me to reach your neck if you straddle me. I promise that I will not treat you with indecency.”

Eros gets the feeling that Copia has had this conversation many times before. They have no reason to be distrustful of him, and the whole situation is just fucking weird anyway, so once again, they shrug and comply. Spreading one’s legs is difficult in a cassock, so they disrobe entirely, leaving them in just their trousers and a black tank top.

Eros finds it impossible to make eye contact with Copia they sidle onto his lap. They don’t know what to do with their hands in this situation, so they settle for placing them on his shoulders. They clear their throat nervously and spare a glance at Copia, who’s practically buzzing with excitement at the prospect of drinking someone’s blood. His pupils are so dilated that they almost encompass his entire irises.

“Because I feel that I should ask one more time, are you sure that you are okay with this? I promise that I will not be upset at you if you choose to leave.”

Eros forces themself to look into his eyes, both for his reassurance and for their own. They have the subtle urge to reach over and brush their hand against his cheek, but they repress it for the sake of preventing things from being even more awkward. “It’s okay. I promise.”

Being this close to him, Eros notices that Copia smells of amber and vanilla, but there’s also a faint hint of incense that seems to be embedded in his hair and clothes from time constantly spent in the chapel for one reason or another. They had heard rumors that he has “666” tattooed on his chest, just underneath his collarbone, and it would be so easy to undo a couple of his shirt’s buttons and check…

Before their train of thought continues to go somewhere that it really should not right now, they smile at him. “Ready when you are.”

“Bene. I will do my best to make this as painless as possible for you.”

Copia leans his head forward slightly and dips his mouth below Eros’s jaw, right by the pulse point on their neck. They tense, expecting some sort of grand pain despite Copia’s reassurances, but he delivers on his promise of being gentle and Eros doesn’t feel anything more than a quick jab as his fangs pierce their neck.

They feel Copia’s tongue experimentally flick against the wounds in their neck and shiver at the sensation, but manage to maintain their composure. At least until Copia groans softly against their neck as he tastes their blood. That sets off something fiery in their core, and it really all seemed to be down- or uphill from there depending on how Eros viewed the situation. If they weren’t already sold on the fantasy of being fed on by a vampire, they certainly were now.

Eros presses their body closer to Copia’s as he drinks, both allowing and consenting him to push his fangs in deeper. This actively hurts, but whatever vampire fuckery happens when they feed on someone already firmly has them in its clutches, and their head rolls back slightly in ecstasy, further baring their neck to him.

Copia lets out a low growl and his grip on their thighs tightens. Eros gasps softly as they feel his arousal press up against their own, momentarily stunned by the sheer, apparent size and length of him, and as he continues to feed, Eros finds themself slightly grinding against him. This only seems to further spur Copia’s blood lust, but as promised, he stops after just a few moments. His breath comes out in short pants as he gazes into Eros’ eyes.

“You taste incredible,” he murmurs as he reaches up and brushes back a lock of hair from their face. He gazes at them with reverence, as if witnessing a god in the flesh, and Eros can’t help but whimper softly at his praise.

Their own breathing is ragged, the space between their thighs already damp from just those few moments. “Cardinal, I think I would very much like for you to continue doing that.”

His eyes widen at the request. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes. It felt incredible.” They look down at where their sexes are touching through their clothes, one soaked and one rock hard. Their hands snake around his neck, their mind foggy with lust and exhaustion. “Cardinal, please…”

“Oh, caro,” his voice is a breathy sigh as he presses his mouth to the pre-existing puncture marks. “As sweet as it sounds coming from you, there is no need for you to beg. It would be my pleasure.”

And then his fangs are buried in their neck again, and the acknowledgement of pleasure from both parties only makes it feel better the second time. Copia drinks for several moments before guiding Eros to lay down on the couch. He lays on top of them, allowing for more friction between them as they eagerly grind against each other through their clothes. Eros’ hands claw into his shirt, wanting more of him, wanting him closer, while Copia’s hands thread through their hair, tugging slightly on the strands as he supports the back of their head.

This continues for a much longer length of time until Eros notices that they suddenly feel very tired, and perhaps just a touch dizzy. Copia had been restraining himself with how much he was actually drinking, but the human body only has so much blood to spare before it needs to rest so that it create more.

Eros’ vision starts to go fuzzy around the edges, and by the time Copia realizes that he might have taken a little too much, they’ve already slipped into blissed-out unconsciousness.

[daydreaming-in-letters]

The Heir

Part 3

01/13/2023

Pairing: (Modern Day!)Charles Brandon x fem!reader (3rd person)

Word Count: 7,736

Warnings: language, bickering and teasing (so much teasing), alcohol, grief and regret, a smidge of angst, Charles being a giver 👅, unprotected sex, fluff

Summary: One day after the eventful evening at the pub, it's time for a visit at Brandon Manor.

A/N: His Snobbiness and the little tree hugger are back for the third and final part. I know, it's been 84 years, sorry. Hope you still enjoy!

Pictures found here, here and here.

Divider by @fireflygraphics

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. Please don’t copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

The Old House

The first stars had settled all across the early night sky when she stepped through the archway and onto the grounds of Brandon Manor. A pity it was so late in the day already, she mused, with darkness beginning to shield the beautiful garden from view which she had come to love so much. They had walked here a good many times, the late duke and her, plotting against Charles and his preposterous plans. They seemed almost blasphemous tonight, she thought, as she took in the magnificent estate that stood like a grey giant against the starry firmament. 

The seagulls seemed to have decided it was time to retreat in the face of the things to come, the only sounds coming from the gravel that scrunched underneath her determined feet and the low rumble of the waves that broke against the cliffs. She wanted to get this over with, whatever it was he wanted to talk about, before he could lure her even further under his spell.

Yesterday had been a close call, she knew that now. It was still hard to admit, but to know that he had been there right behind her for the whole walk home had been a rather nice feeling. So warm and comforting, daring her to try it on and see where it would lead her. God, she had been almost tempted to wave him goodbye when she had arrived at her doorstep. He had still been there, patiently waiting by the gate until she had unlocked her door and stepped inside. 

“What the fuck am I doing here?” she whispered underneath her breath while her hand found the cold head of the stone lion that guarded the main entrance to Brandon Manor in a habitual pat for good luck. “Stay focused, let him say his part and then get your stupid arse out of here before—“ No, she wouldn’t allow herself to say that out loud. Even thinking about it was wrong on so many levels. And she was glad that her body for once seemed to agree with her will as her hand yanked down the cord of the ancient doorbell decisively.

Fully prepared to wait a good while before he would make it to the door from God-knew-where in the extensive house, she flinched when only seconds later the ancient wood gave way to the outline of his broad shoulders. A faint glow surrounded him, probably coming from the library, and the absence of any other light almost hid his shit-eating grin when he recognised his guest.

“Good evening, Miss Y/L/N. Finished hugging trees already?”

A pair of attentive eyes roamed her body freely and she hated how warm it made her feel with so little effort. 

“Evening, Your Snobbiness.” And without waiting for his invitation, she pressed past him.

“Please, call me Charles. I feel that’s appropriate after I witnessed you making scrambled eggs out of a useless pair of testicles yesterday.”

She didn’t need to look at him, the slight teasing in his tone was enough to make her envision the dazzling smirk that was most likely accompanying his words.

“Fine,” she mumbled almost inaudibly, forgetting why she had said it in the first place. There was a faint memory of the words she had actually wanted to throw at him, but when she had turned, his dukey handsomeness had simply taken her breath away. Of course she knew that he was a pretty fucker, but seeing him here, in his natural habitat, his sharp, stubbly jawline and his twinkling eyes hit completely different.

And as if that wasn’t already enough for her senses to deal with, he had chosen yet another outfit that one would expect to find in a posh country fashion catalogue. His camel turtleneck jumper fit his skin tone perfectly while the dark brown suede jacket he wore above it resembled the colour of his hair. And amongst all those earthy shades, his stormy blue eyes stood out like two exquisite jewels.

He must have said something judging from the hand he was holding out towards her expectantly. For a second she stared at it in total confusion, not sure whether he wanted her to take it, before she decided against her instinct and shot him a quizzical look.

“Your jacket,” he repeated the last bit of his question, a knowing smirk pulling the corners of his mouth upwards. 

Bloody gorgeous man. And so she reluctantly peeled herself out of her jacket, after she had set her camera carefully onto the bench next to the coat rack. With a silent gesture he bade her to follow him as soon as she was ready.

“I assume you failed yet again on your quest to take a picture of the white stag?”

Her answer was a murderous glare. “And what if I didn’t fail this time?”

His lips twitched a little while he held her infuriated gaze. “Oh, you did. Otherwise you wouldn’t have wasted a single second to rub your success in.”

“Idiot.”

Her annoyance pulled a deep chuckle from his chest that echoed from the high walls of the empty hall as he led her up the stairs. She knew all too well where he would take her and the memory made her heart grow heavy. Right at the head of the stairs lay one of the former reception rooms which had served his father as a spacious living room with its large fireplace. Two high glass doors led onto a huge balcony. It was common knowledge that there was no view of the sea in the whole of Fakeston that was more beautiful than the view from up here.

It was here that she had last seen the old man, only a day before his heart had gotten tired of beating and as Charles opened the door for her now, she didn’t know whether to feel relieved or heartbroken about the fact that nothing had changed here since her last visit. If anything, the lack of change made it even more apparent how different the room felt now that he was gone. It seemed a little too big, a touch too dark and the crackling fire couldn’t fully warm the stately old place tonight. 

She felt the sudden urge to get out of here. It had been a bad idea to meet with Charles anyway, but before she could think of a good excuse to leave, she felt Charles’ presence behind her back. In an instant she turned, neither trusting him nor herself when he was this close, but to her surprise she found him holding a small wooden box that had definitely seen better days. It was covered in battered crimson velvet which, together with the metal clasp at its front, made it look positively ancient. 

“What’s that?”

“That’s the reason I needed to speak to you.”

Carefully his strong hands opened the lid to reveal a stunning gold and silver pendant, beaded with pearls and dark red gemstones. It was attached to a silver necklace that was held together by a small hook, matching the pendant perfectly.

She didn’t understand what this breathtaking piece of jewellery could possibly have to do with her and she understood even less why he shoved the box into her hands.

“It’s yours.” For a moment there was silence. She didn’t know what to say, hell, she didn’t even know if she had heard him correctly and so she was more than pleased when he chose to speak again. “My father instructed me very clearly in his last will that you should have it.”

Patiently, he waited for her response and when she still didn’t move after a while, he reached inside the box, fingers closing around the precious object to take it out. Mere seconds later she could feel the weight of the necklace around her neck, the touch of the cool metal finally making her snap out of her petrified state.

“It has been passed down in my family from generation to generation, mother to daughter or daughter-in-law. I guess leaving it to you means my father gave up all hope I’d ever find a wife to pass it on to.”

“I can’t possibly accept this.” The fingers of her free hand were already reaching for the hook, fumbling blindly at the nape of her neck, when a pair of determined hands wrapped around her own and gently stopped her antics. 

“You can and you will.” His tone made it unmistakably clear that he wouldn’t argue with her on this matter, even if his eyes couldn’t fully hide the irritation about his father’s decision, and so her fingers went limp and abandoned their task. “If only because it suits you so exceptionally well.”

Had he just— “Was…Was that a compliment?”

“A compliment?” he spat, a wild smile gracing his lips as he took a step back. “Why on earth would I compliment you? Have you forgotten that we are sworn enemies?”

“How could I ever forget when your infuriating face is right in front of me as a constant reminder of our feud?”

She mirrored his dazzling smirk, her eyes refusing to do the decent thing and look away.

“I take it you’re not interested in staying for a glass of wine then?”

“Indeed I am not.” For a second his smile faltered while hers stayed perfectly in place. “Yet, it is the least I can do after robbing you of your family jewels, don’t you think?”

And there it was again, the million dollar smile that suited him so well and made her knees go weak a little every time. But now, she almost regretted her answer when it made him turn away from her to fill their glasses. 

Suddenly, she felt awfully naive. Why had she agreed to stay? Did she really hope anything would happen between him and her tonight? He would never see her as anything more than a tree hugger, a nuisance to his perfect plan. Not that she wanted him to see her as anything else in the first place. What a ridiculous thought. She and Charles Brandon. Ridiculous!

It must have been the pretty room with its romantic fireplace that had gotten to her head. Maybe a bit of fresh air would make her see clearly again. And so she strutted over to the large glass doors and stepped onto the balcony. She walked straight over to the balustrade, letting the fresh breeze that came from the sea ease the turmoil he managed to awaken deep inside of her whenever she was with him. 

It was a beautiful night, the crescent moon sat brightly in the clear sky, a few of its beams kissing the waves to crown them with pure silver. Despite the light, she could only guess where the land ended and the cliffs dropped down into the rolling waves although she had seen the thin line of the cliff’s edge a thousand times from this very spot. The wind wasn’t as harsh as it usually was up here, or maybe there was another reason why she didn’t feel its chilly blow as strongly tonight.

Unconsciously, her fingers lifted to find the Brandons’ family heirloom. The pendant felt a little strange as it rested against her warm skin, the white drop of a pearl that was attached to it dangling dangerously close above the valley of her breasts. 

She had been so deep in thought that she almost jumped when the glass of wine appeared seemingly out of nowhere in front of her face. Still a little startled, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“The necklace is quite heavy.”

“My father always said it was a symbol of the hardships our title brings along with it.”

“Hardships?” She huffed. “I’m sorry, but I fail to see the hardships you are suffering because of your title.”

His face stayed completely unreadable as he looked out across the bay and for a moment she thought he might not have heard her pointed remark at all when he turned to her again with that playful smirk on his lips. 

“Well, for one, there would be the hardship of your company.”

“Hm. Isn’t it the other way around really? I mean, I suffer from your company just as much, plus, it’s me who has to carry the burden of this historical necklace from now on.”

He lifted his glass, using it to point towards her own.

“It’s a good thing you have some wine then to help you through the seemingly never ending hours of my company.”

He leaned in, still holding out his glass towards her with that darned smile on his face.

“To our shared suffering.”

“Cheers.”

Even in the darkness his eyes cast their bewitching spell on her as he held her gaze while he lifted his glass. And he didn’t let go, not even to blink. This man was insufferable, leaving her no choice but to be the reasonable one in this duo and pretend to let her eyes wander to enjoy the majestic view across the moonlit bay.

“How’s Henry? I haven’t seen him around since you used him to thwart my plans the other morning.”

“He’s fine. He fell asleep in the library a while ago. It’s his favourite place in the house. Probably something about the sweet smell of old books, don’t you think?”

She looked over at him and she couldn’t help but wonder if he actually shared his dog’s fondness for old books. There was something utterly enticing about the thought of him in that library, sitting on the window seat or in one of the old wing chairs, completely lost to the world around him. She bet he had the most wonderful reading voice, low and warm as he painted colourful pictures word by word.

“Are you okay?”

Shit, she must have zoned out for a moment. 

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m fine. Totally fine.”

In a small fit of panic her hand locked around the heavy pendant again and his eyes followed her movement, providing her with the perfect opportunity to seize revenge for making her fantasise about him. Slowly her fingers loosened and glided along the curve of her breast in slow motion until she let her arm fall to her side nonchalantly. 

“You’re shivering. Should we go back inside?”

“No, I’m not,” he denied, his eyes shooting up from her chest to form an expression of outrage.

Oh, he had definitely been shivering. “Yes, you are, Your Grace.”

“I am most certainly not.” He raised his chin in defiance. “But we can go back inside if you wish.”

With a triumphant smile, she nodded and wasted no more time to turn towards the building.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you called me by my title,” he started to tease again as they headed inside, obviously regaining his old self-confidence.

“Oh, I wouldn’t read too much into that if I were you. Just a little something to warm your heart as you were so obviously freezing.”

“Was not!”

“Yes, you were.”

He huffed, rolling his eyes like an annoyed teenager, but he couldn’t hide the small smile that tugged at his lips. His enticing, perfectly shaped lips, so tempting, so kissable, making it so easy to forget that he was still the villain in this whole story. 

The sudden change of air as they stepped back inside made her shudder and she drew away before he could notice. She could feel his quizzical gaze on her back as she walked over to the dark mahogany table that held an old gramophone, its metal horn shining in the dancing flames of the fire. It didn’t surprise her in the least when she found the same record sitting on the turntable that had played during her last visit and even after she had wound the crank and carefully placed the needle, her lips held a wistful smile when she looked up to find Charles again.

He was standing by the fireplace now, watching her carefully. She could be mistaken in the dim light, but was there a hint of concern in his eyes? Or was it something else entirely? Something she felt inside as well and was trying so hard to push aside.

“What are you doing?” he asked. The question seemed a bit silly, especially since the first crackling notes of the song already filled the silence, but she chose to satisfy his curiosity anyway.

“Making some music.”

She didn’t know what vexed him more, that she seemed to find it necessary to state the obvious for him or the smug smile she chose to accompany her statement with, but the rolling of his eyes in fake annoyance had been well worth it.

“Thanks for enlightening me, but I can see that.”

“Then why bother asking?” He was just about to come up with a flippant retort, when she cut him off short. “Did you know that this was your father’s favourite?”

“I…I didn’t.” In the blink of an eye all the playfulness that had made his eyes shine so beautifully was gone. “Just like all the other things I didn’t know about him.”

He tore his eyes away to stare into the flames instead, making her stomach clench and her heart ache for him. In the past, she had often imagined to hurt his Snobbiness in the most creative ways for what he wanted to do to the very building they were standing in right now, but never would she have aimed this low. Yet, without intent, she had and before she even knew what she was doing, she found herself by his side, her hand gently squeezing his arm.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have…” Slowly he lifted his gaze to find her eyes  again, and for a moment, she forgot how to breathe upon the sheer amount of pain and regret  that mirrored in the stormy blue. “Can we please not talk about this tonight?”

“Of course.”

Anything. Anything to make that sparkle return to his eyes again.

“How about a dance instead?”

“Huh?” 

Anything but that, obviously. He couldn’t be serious, could he? She must have misheard.

“Dance with me. Please.” 

He was joking. He must be. As if she would— 

A movement broke her train of thought, and when she followed it, she found his hand already waiting for her to take it. So she had heard him correctly. Interesting. Interesting and rather fortunate. This was the opportunity she had been waiting for all evening, her chance to fight for her cause once again. Maybe the last she would ever get. There was no way she couldn’t take it, still she felt bad about what she was about to do.

“I will, if you agree to come to the village council meeting and talk about your plans for Brandon Manor.”

She had expected him to decline or at least think it over for a moment, but he didn’t even hesitate. 

“Agreed.” 

Eager to cash in his benefit of the deal immediately, he didn’t even wait for her to process his answer before he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. The smuggest of grins began to spread over his face as a startled gasp escaped her, and instead of allowing her some space to breathe, he even tightened his hold and brought her closer still.

A dance. It was just a dance. No need to freeze in his arms, every muscle taut to a point that bordered on painful. But forcing herself to relax was easier said than done, with him pressed up against her body, moving so close to her, only the slightest bit, but enough to make her feel all of him. She didn’t dare look up into his eyes, afraid of what she would find there and, even worse, what it would do to her. Unfortunately, looking down turned out to be no less aggravating as the image of his defined pecs forced itself upon her, clenching and stretching the fine wool of his jumper so deliciously. 

Heat. Heat was all she felt. The heat from the fire, the heat of his touch, seeping through her clothes and underneath her skin where his large hand rested against her back, rushing through her, multiplying, until it filled every last inch of her being. 

Even the divine softness of the suede leather underneath her fingertips couldn’t soothe her agony. She could still feel him, despite the extra layer of clothing it provided, and no matter how hard she tried to fight it, the thought how he would feel against her without the protection of their clothes kept pushing itself back into her mind relentlessly. It was torture, and enchanting none the less. It made her careless, made her want to relax in his arms, to give in and let him lead the way.

But the spell was broken suddenly when she could feel his leg slide in between hers, his massive thigh clenching and pressing against the one spot where all the heat that burned her body from the inside seemed to collect. With another gasp, her head flew up. A bad idea, she realised, as the sudden movement stirred the air and, the very second her eyes locked onto his, brought a heady whiff of his scent. And she was lost, defenceless against the invasion of her every sense by the same man she had vowed to oppose—to hate—forever. 

And now she found herself in his arms, dizzy with want for him, clinging to him tighter with every passing second. She needed to stop this before it would lead to something more, something they would both regret in the morning. 

“Remind me again,” she whispered, resting her cheek against his to hide her face, “how did we end up here?”

“I guess it all started with you touching my hand that night at the pub.” He fell silent for a moment, but she could sense that there was something else coming. “I have been wanting to ask you all evening. Why did you do it?”

Her first instinct was to evade his question or to tease him again, but there was something about the tone of his voice, about the way his body seemed to stiffen the slightest bit, that made it impossible not to answer him truthfully.

“I remembered something your father had told me about you. By the time I thought it was just wishful thinking or his guilty conscience speaking. I thought he wanted to make excuses for your abominable behaviour so badly that he’d rather blame himself than letting his son be the villain in this scenario. But that night at the pub, I…I realised he may have been right about you all along.”

“And what did he tell you?” 

His lips were so close to her ear, his warm breath wafting over her neck with a shiver.

“He…he believed that the death of your mother broke you and he regretted he wasn’t able to give you the love you would have needed and deserved so much. Your father only realised when it was too late that he had been so caught up in his own grief he had failed at being a good father to you.”

It was the truth, and still it pained her to tell it. Not as much as it must have pained him, judging from the deafening silence that pushed itself between the two of them for a while.

“So it was pity I have to thank for this?”

The icy spite in his voice froze her in place at once. On instinct his accusation made her push him off a little, to be away from him just as much as to be able to look into his eyes. Still her words were as soft as the touch of a feather when she spoke again.

“No. I think your grief gave me something I could relate to, something we had in common. And even though I wanted to hate you more than anything, I couldn’t. Not anymore.” Her eyes fell to her hands that still rested against his chest from pushing him off. “I guess you can’t really hate a person you share an experience as intense as the early loss of a parent with.”

She had feared he might have questions that would force her to dig up the memory of her father again, a memory she had so carefully stowed away deep inside her heart. Only sometimes, on the rarest of occasions, she allowed it to resurface, but it always came at the cost of pain and tears and nightmares. But to her great surprise he didn’t ask any questions. Instead she could feel the gentle touch of his fingers, grasping her chin and lifting her head. 

“I’m glad my father had you in his life when I couldn’t be there for him.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. He knew why you couldn’t and he forgave you for it.”

“I know.” The hand on her chin fell to his side as he tore his eyes away from hers. “What I don’t know is if I can ever forgive myself.”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that either, but I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to have this weigh on your conscience for the rest of your life.”

With her words, the song died away, leaving a silence that was almost unbearable. It made her uncomfortable, more than their first encounter or his unexpected appearance at the pub ever could have, and it made her foolish. And so she reached for his hand.

She had never expected her gesture to bring much comfort, but then he squeezed it gently, and she couldn’t believe her eyes when he even brought it up to his lips to place a tender kiss to her knuckles. This must be a dream. His Snobbiness would never…

It was only when he pulled her in again, holding her tight and swaying her slowly that she realised the next song had started to play. Eyes fixed on her, he monitored her closely. She didn’t know if he was waiting for something or if he was just teasing again, whatever it was, she didn’t want this to stop.

“So, um, Miss Treehugger, we’re still sworn enemies, right?”

“Oh, yes, absolutely, Your Snobbiness.”

“Good. Good. I’d thought you might say that.” He still held her gaze, his face the epitome of seriousness as his forehead began to wrinkle. “Tell me this though. Why are you smiling then?”

“Smiling?” She wasn’t, was she? Oh dear, it seemed she was. Deny. Deny. “I’m not smiling.”

“No, you definitely are smiling.” Urgh, she was. And that measly try of playing it down wouldn’t even have convinced herself. 

“I told you, I am most certainly not! Probably just about to have a stroke caused by the enraging company.”

As excuses go, that had certainly been a better one. Still, it didn’t need more than a cock of his eyebrow to make her cave.

“Fine. So what if I was actually smiling?”

His pokerface was without a doubt masterful in comparison to hers.

“Nothing,” he stated nonchalantly. “I would just be wondering what you are smiling about.” “My point exactly. What would I have to smile about right now?”

“I don’t know. Maybe…could it be because of me?” The scornful huff that came from deep within didn’t seem to impress him much. “Do you by any chance enjoy dancing with me?” He even had the audacity to lean in. “Being close to me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Your Grace.”

A deep chuckle followed her comment, and the mischievous sparkle in his eyes told her that he was far from finished teasing her.

“You know, just a thought, but if the two of us were characters in a story, I think we both know that right now was the moment we would ever so slightly drift closer until—”

His voice was so deliciously low, luring her into the little narrative he had spun.

“Until?” she breathed, her eyes betraying her last restraint, already knowing the answer as they dropped down to his mouth.

“Until our lips would touch in a tender kiss.”

With all her might she willed down the moan that was forming in her throat, but still her body chose to betray her, pressing itself up against his, one hand drifting around his neck.

“You mean like this?”

“Exactly like this.”

Determined fingers cupped her cheek without resistance and she knew she was lost as his eyes betrayed him just as much, glued to the movement of her lips as she went on.

“What a ridiculous thought. You hate me, just as much as I hate you. And this enemies-to-lovers nonsense only ever works in corny romance stories.”

“You’re right. It’s ludicrous. I would never.” 

Determined fingers pulled her face to his, his hot breath caressing her lips. And with the final shred of sanity leaving her body, she whispered her last protest. 

“Never.”

And then his lips were there, so soft, yet so enticingly demanding. There was no more room for teasing as he pulled her closer, his body moving so delectably against her own while his mouth devoured her, coaxed her to open up to him so he could claim her wholly. And by all that was holy to her, she wanted him. Wanted to feel his hands on her bare skin, his mouth roam her breasts while he moved inside her. She wanted to be his, and make him hers in return. But—

With a gasp she broke away. “I should leave now.”

“Why?” 

She had hurt him, again. But he would thank her for it in the morning.

“To spare us both the regret.” Obviously, he wasn’t of the same opinion at all, clasping her even tighter. “Please, if you don’t let me leave now, I fear I won’t be able to stop.”

“Is that what you want? To stop?”

Oh, how much she wanted to lie, to tell him that she didn’t want him at all, that this was wrong. But she couldn’t. And when her answer finally came, it was feeble but decided. 

“No.”

“Then don’t.”

The words sounded so simple from his mouth, so logical, but they were nothing compared to the feeling of giving in to her desire. It was all-consuming, pulling her in until she wanted to drown in his kisses just to be resurrected by his possessive touch, spiralling her right into a frenzy. There were hands and mouths everywhere. And in a heartbeat she was afire, burning in his arms, and yet she had never felt more alive.

It was only the touch of his bare skin against hers that made her come to her senses again. 

“Charles,” she sighed and as if she had lifted the spell that had unleashed their carnal desire, he broke away. But she had been wrong once again, it seemed, as she opened her eyes to find the most alluring sight in front of her, making her knees go weak in an instant. But despite the most prominent thing, she couldn’t even tell what aroused her more, his furry chest, heaving as he used the short intermission to catch his breath, or his eyes, dark, and gleaming with want for her as they roamed her naked form freely. She could have stared at him forever, sadly the pleasure his sight brought was short lived. Soon his gaze settled on her neck, making her wonder what was so interesting about it until his hand reached out to trace the silver necklace all the way down to the gorgeous pendant. 

“As I said,” he grinned cheekily, “exceptional.”

His lips mimicked his fingers, following their path along the precious piece of jewellery, and further down. He was kissing, licking, sucking every last inch of her chest, basking in the sweet melody of lewd sounds he coaxed from her lips. She found herself on the brink of madness already when all of a sudden, he decided to stop. Her eyes snapped open in an instant, finding him on his knees, the exact position she wanted him in, his lips mere inches away from her stomach, but all he did was stare up at her with a wicked grin on his lips.

“You are insufferable, Brandon.”

As expected, his grin only grew wider. “Am I now?” And with that his lips found her skin again. Leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses, he ventured south, seemingly giving her what she wanted, just to hold once again, right above where she needed his attention most.

“Will you stop teasing me already?”

“As you wish.”

She had never expected him to yield this easily and so she watched in disbelief as his tongue found her hot sex, slipping right in between her folds without hesitation. 

“Ah, fuck!” 

His eyes shot up to hers upon the expletive his actions had caused, and although his mouth was too engaged in pleasuring her to display the devilish smirk on his face, the twinkle in his eyes gave him away. What a sight, to see his gorgeous face between her legs, his sharp tongue finally put to good use after the aggravating comments it usually produced. A skill he had mastered just as much as the art of making her knees buckle and her head swim with the exquisite rolls and flicks of his tongue.

As if he had read her mind, his eyebrows rose up in a challenge and she had to bite her tongue not to moan his name out loud again. She wouldn’t grant him that satisfaction, not before he had granted hers. But he seemed very eager to please tonight, so his tongue was soon joined by two of his fingers. Carefully they pressed into her, a task made easy by the juices that had already collected thanks to his supreme ministrations, while his other hand clutched her bottom tightly to keep her upright. 

She had thought it was a rather presumptuous gesture, but as soon as he started to move within her, she found that it wasn’t enough at all. In the dire need to steady herself, she grabbed a fistful of his hair. Just the one should be sufficient, she assumed, but she was proven wrong once more. Her tight grip on him forced a groan so powerful the vibration made her see stars as it rolled across her sensitive pearl. And so her other hand dove into his lush locks as well. 

She was so close already, her hands now guiding his movements in tune with the rhythmic thrusts of his fingers. God, this was—

“Don’t stop,” she panted, “don’t you dare stop.”

He didn’t. Instead she heard him mumble something against her that sounded suspiciously like, “Never,” before he tightened his firm grip on her behind to pull her further into him and all of her senses clouded over at once. Her eyes fell closed as the rapture of her high surged through her. She didn’t feel her fingers tighten in his hair, didn’t hear his muffled curses against her sex, half pleasure half pain, that mixed with her own praise of his name so beautifully.

“Charles,” she whispered once again as he slowly retreated, leaving her blissed out yet unbearably empty and already hungry for more. Her whole body was still trembling as he guided her onto his lap and into a strong pair of arms that eagerly awaited her. For a while he just held her like that, his hands drifting up and down her back soothingly while her fingers subconsciously played with the silky fur that covered his chest, until she had calmed down.

Then, as if it was nothing to him, he moved her around, softly laying her onto the plush, warm carpet next to the fireplace. 

“Are you all right?” he asked, hovering above her, his thumb lightly gliding along the apple of her cheek. 

“I’m perfect.”

“Perfect? Really? Are you sure?”

The playfulness in his voice made her chuckle, and the slight movement it caused evoked his hardened arousal to twitch promisingly against her.

“Well,” she rasped, fingernails grazing down his side, “maybe not completely perfect.”

He smirked through the shiver her nails had caused, “That’s what I thought.”

But to her great dismay, he seemed to be in no hurry to reach that state of perfection he had so thoroughly hinted at, as he leaned down ever so slowly to catch her lips with his. It didn’t take long though before his craving seemed to grow stronger. Soon he deepened the kiss, his tongue fulfilling what the teasing roll of his hips so far had only promised. But then she could feel it, his hand finally reaching in between their bodies. Yet, it was no time to rejoice because, being the annoying tease he was, he chose to torture her just a little longer, dragging his tip lazily through her folds, pressing it into her entrance only the slightest bit every now and then. 

“Are you really going to make me beg, Your Grace?”

He might have planned on it, she couldn’t tell for sure, but the second his title rolled so pointedly over he tongue, he was done for. With a groan so sinful it caused another blazing wave of heat to shoot through her core, he gave in, sinking into her slowly but all at once. 

The sensation of feeling him, all of him, threatening to overwhelm her, she clung to him tightly, legs closing around his hips just in case he was considering to tease her again. But he didn’t, not anymore. His mind was set on one thing only now, and he was about to drive her insane in the process with his slow, deep strokes. 

All she could feel was him, moving inside her, stirring the fire he had already unleashed once anew, his lips that had found her neck, sucking her soft flesh as his heady grunts and groans invaded her ears. It was everything, almost too much, yet still not enough. 

But the relief came soon, with a single bite to her neck. The sweet sting made her back arch, slightly shifting the angle of his already maddening thrusts and she keened in delight as he hit the perfect spot. Over and over he found it, slowly making her loose all sense of time and space. She needed to touch him, to look into his eyes once more before she would be gone to the world a second time. Her hands reached for him on instinct, cupping his cheeks to lift his head from the crook of her neck and she was rewarded with the most dazzling smile she had ever seen on his face. 

“Are you gonna come for me again?”

Yes, god, yes, she would. Just one more moment, one more languid thrust, one more look at his sickeningly handsome face, those lips, so perfectly shaped, she mused as her thumb traced the pink flesh. With the grin of a famished wolf who was only seconds away from sating his ravenous hunger on his prey, his lips opened and her finger slipped inside. Greedily he sucked it deeper, elation flooding his blue orbs the second he watched her eyes roll back into her head as she satisfied his desire and surrendered herself to euphoria once again.

Through the haze of her high she heard him moan her name, faintly noticed his hand reaching for her own, fingers intertwining before he tightened his grip and allowed himself to join her in her rapture.

His kisses grew soft as their frenzied passion slowly subsided, and with one final brush of her lips and a placid smile he rolled off of her. It was cold in the absence of his body over hers and she shivered. 

“Come here,” he mumbled, offering her the comfortable resting spot on his wide chest and she accepted. Immediately his warmth embraced her. It was peaceful here by the fire, nestled into his side, one arm holding her tight, legs entangled while his lips pressed to her hair. She could have stayed like this forever.

In the silence, the drum of his heart was loud and clear against her ear, strong and steady beats underneath her fingertips, seemingly unfazed by what had just passed between them. And it was in this very moment the realisation hit her harder than it should have, leaving a touch of nausea in her stomach.

But what had she expected? That he would be deliriously happy? That he would fall in love with her just because they had shared this insignificant moment of passion? She was such a fool.

She must have stirred in his arms, drawing his attention to her agitated state unintentionally.

“What’s wrong? Are you cold?”

Her first impulse was to go with it or simply act as if there wasn’t a single thing burdening her mind, but even now that whatever they had was officially over, she couldn’t bring herself to lie to him.

“No. I’m just so…disappointed.”

“Ouch. That’s a first,” he huffed, the wound in his words unmistakeable even though he tried to hide it behind a crooked smile.

“Not in you.” Idiot, she would have liked to add. But that would be unfair since the only idiot in the room was she. “In myself.” And with that she sat up.

He followed her example immediately, pushing himself up onto his elbow.

“What? Why?”

“Because I did the one thing I vowed never to do.” She couldn’t stand the confusion on his face any longer, honest or fake, she needed to turn away and burry her face in her hands. “Oh god, I really did sleep with the enemy in the end.”

The low chuckle that followed felt like a slap. A well earned one, that much was clear. She should have known he would attempt to lure her under his spell and fuck her brains out so she would give up her silly war and let him have his way with Brandon Manor, and she had made it so easy for him. She hadn't even tried to resist him.

“Did you though?”

His answer startled her and she needed a moment to process his words.

“Well, obviously,” she snapped over her shoulder, “or are you telling me you are not the Duke of Suffolk?”

“I’m sorry to say I am.” He sighed, and his scorching breath rolled over her shoulder like a warning. Still she flinched when a second later his lips pressed to the very same spot in a soft kiss. “But maybe I’m not your enemy.”

“You still want to build this bloody hotel, don’t you?”

Her voice was icy and she hoped with all her might that he would finally take the hint and leave her be before her hand would slip. God knew he could use a little clip round the ear.

“It pains me a little to admit after all the fun I had bickering with you, but I don’t.” What? He couldn’t be serious. In the blink of an eye she turned around, searching his eyes to see if he was just mocking her, but all she found was the tiniest hint of an apologetic smile on his lips. “And I never did. I made the whole thing up to get back at my old man.”

So he had been lying to her this whole time? The little… She wanted to slap him now more than ever, but then she realised what this actually meant. Brandon Manor was safe. No teardown, no hotel. And as soon as the rage had bubbled up inside of her, it calmed again.

“But you’re still leaving by the end of the month?”

“That was the plan, yes. Other than this old house, nothing is keeping me here.” She felt the sudden urge to avert her gaze, but somehow there was something about the way he looked at her that forced down her first instinct. “But I have a feeling that might be about to change.”

There he sat, right in front of her with that darned triumphant smile on his face, His Snobbiness Charles Brandon, the Duke of Suffolk, her sworn enemy, about to worm his way into her heart and there was nothing she could do but sit and watch.

“You know,” he rasped while his fingers trailed along the line of her jaw and made her shiver, “I heard tree hugging is supposed to be very beneficial for the heart. So I think I might give that a try.” His fingertips had come dangerously close to her lips and she was about to open up and let him do whatever he wanted to when they fell away and the suddenly very ceremonious tone of his voice irritated her. “I also still have the duties of a duke to fulfil, a county to rule—”

“Idiot,” she chuckled in amusement, her palm pressing against his chest playfully to push him further off of her. But he was quick to grab her wrist, his other hand cupping her cheek as he hauled her against his chest again. 

“And a few peasants to vex.”

His kiss wasn’t like any other kiss they had exchanged tonight. It felt easy, free of all the tension and silent doubt that had been hovering above them this whole time. This, right here, right now, was heaven.

She was still smiling when he stopped to look at her again.

“What? Did you think you would get rid of me so easily?”

“Oh, I’d never count myself that lucky, Your Grace.”

The boyish grin on his lips died away suddenly, making room for a hunger in his eyes she didn’t find there for the first time tonight.

“You know,” he growled dangerously lowly, “you really should go easy on the Your-Grace-thing, at least if you ever want us to get to that village council meeting you lured me into in exchange for that dance.”

“I think I’ll take my chances,” slowly she leaned in, her cheek brushing along his until her lips found his ear in a whisper, “Your Grace.”

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[blindrapture]

TUESDAY JULY 5TH, 2011 (Duck and Cover)

9:39 AM Yearning to begin anew Spinning the labyrinth blue The landscape opens To a refreshing twist Of passion, music, Society sun-kissed! Follow me into civilization Close the door behind You fall deeper, you star sweeper Into the story of mankind There’s nothing like a little bit of Sunsetters to wake you up in the morning, huh, journal? :D

9:53 AM Donnie's found a road map in the lobby. Gotta discuss where we're going next.

9:55 AM "Do you think we'll go through Nebraska?" I mean, we can go anywhere we want. I was actually thinking of checking out New York. It's not too far from here, relatively. "Oh. What's in New York?" Could be many things. Big important city. I'd expect some people, like good guys, still hanging out. "But what's there for you?" Well. There was that book. In that library. It told me I have a friend there. I showed you that log, right? "Yeah! You did. That's as good a reason as any I can think of. I can wait for Nebraska, I'm sure we'll be on the road again before long." Probably! What's in Nebraska? "Nothing, it's fine." You sure? "I'm sure. Let's get moving!"

9:59 AM And off we go, down side roads! Hopefully we can find the motorhighway.

10:10 AM It feels good to be in America again at last. I've missed this, like, general style of road. Trees. Road sign. And with Donnie by my side, I feel like I can take on the world. :D ...she kissed my cheek. we're gonna hold haaaands

10:32 AM I almost miss being on the Exodus. At least it meant we didn’t have to walk to each place. >_>

10:42 AM ..oh my god no way It's a goddamn Rapture Duck! Jesus, look at the size of that thing! quack "They're really cute…" They're monsters. "How can you say that? Look at it, it's a duck!" Just keep it away from my journal. o_o;;

10:53 AM I hear a car in the distance! People! O: "Americans!"

10:54 AM Look, it's a little gray volvo! It's.. it's coming onto the sidewalk. Oh god, LOOK OUT

10:55 AM man, fuck you, and your volvo… what are you doing, don't turn around, just keep driving! for fuck's sake here it comes again dive! run! dive! duck! DUCK! DUCK! RAPTURE DUCK! OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK JUST FUCK OFF

10:56 AM The car's rolling down its window GUN pointing at us "Give us the girl." WHAT donnie "Are you serious?" "Do we look like we're joking?" Well. Hang on, let me take a closer look at you.

11:00 AM So, uh. Donnie was kidnapped by plants. Yeah, literally just. Plant men. Vines and twigs. Driver was just a fucking bush. Gunman had arms of bark. I'm not saying I capitulated at the mere sight of them, I mean they got out of the car and really put up a fight! They.. drove off to the north. Pretty sure that's north. It's the direction we were going anyway. I've gotta... I've gotta go after them.

11:11 AM I wish!!! I wish for Donnie!!!

11:20 AM Walking down quiet highway roads, trying to ignore that ever-prevalent cawing I’ve gotten so used to. quack And that goddamn quacking. Leave me alone! Where were you in all this, huh??? With your fierce beak, you could have eaten those plant dudes! Right? What do ducks eat? Well?? Tell me!!! Why are you just standing there, looking at me like that? ...

11:21 AM RIDING THE RAPTURE DUCK

11:43 AM There! The volvo! It's parked in front of that shack! Thank you, duck! You're alright. Do you want to.. come with me? Can you fit through that door? Have you killed before? quack

11:45 AM Dark hallway. Long hallway. Either that, or we're walking in circles because we can't see anything. The air turned very stale as soon as we came in. I think it's a rabbit hole. It's gotta be.

11:48 AM I hear a faint roar. Gripping Tiger Stripes. There's faint music above the roar... Two big double doors.

11:50 AM “No fireworks, no cameras, no merch, in fact I’d go as far as to say there’s no real quality of service but that still doesn’t change the fact that WE’RE PLAYING TONIGHT– HELLO, CAMPER FESTIVAL!”

12:03 PM Out in the lobby now. I’m sure the Camper Festival means something, something big, but I don’t have time to look around. ..Ms. Desmond? She’s just sitting there, watching the performance. Ooh, over there! Is that Bonnjo Vjonsped?! OwO rightsorrylet’sgo ..they’re missing their guitarist. o__o SORRY OKAY GOING this duck does NOT like loud music

12:08 PM The door opened to a florist, and then past that, a forest. I made sure to ask for some weed-killers on my way out. I mean, she didn't give me any, because I have no money. But I made sure to ask! Man, this shrubbery! Real thick! Why am I still talking

12:11 PM I hear things nearby. Hey duck, can I ride you again? Where are you going?

12:12 PM I swear I just saw something running through the canopy. Duck, where'd you go? :(

12:19 PM I swear a bug's crawled up my trouser leg I hate this so much

12:20 PM I hear voices. And honks! Friend, you're close! :D Just gotta keep.. whacking shrubs out of the way…

12:25 PM hnnnng

12:28 PM Three th a voice speaks to me...

Night I don’t know what time it is. It’s dark, though. Very. I can’t see much, but I can make out vague shapes of the trees around me.

Night (2) Listening for the duck. Listening for the voices. Listening for anything, but there's just, there's nothing. Gonna walk a bit.

Night (3) I can hear faint birds singing. They sound nothing like birds are supposed to. May not even be birds; I’m just guessing at this point. ..the ground here’s suddenly wet. o_o

Night (4) Dry ground again. I hear footsteps nearby.

Night (5) There’s definitely someone there. I can see the vague shape of their body. I’m finding out who it is.

Night (6) I bumped into a tree. I heard the person run off. I don’t know where to go.

Night (7) I’ve been wandering for a really long time; I’m sure it’s been half an hour, at least. My eyes don’t adjust to the darkness, no moon rises to shine light, nothing. The forest remains in its perpetual darkness.

Night (8) I found a piece of paper. I can't read it, but I'll keep it with me. Can read it later.

(Attached: "In the woods there is peace. And the birds, And the woodland animals! On the trail, On my way out from you. And the wind, And the rustling trees hear me.")

Night (9) All the trees look the same. I think. I can barely see any of them anyway.

Night (10) How long have I been out here? Too long.

Night (11) Person again. I think. I see a vague white shape.

Night (12) The person is wearing a theatrical sadface mask and standing there, staring at me. They won’t answer to my shouts.

Night (13) Tree.

Night (14) Walking.

Night (15) I blink and some trees disappear.

Night (16) I blink and some trees appear.

Night (17) The sadface man is in front of me. Under his mask, I am watched. “How will you handle the world crumbling around you?“ do you want to see? ings just ran into a nearby cave. The duck's here and quacking at me.

12:30 PM The cave is filled with plant-men. Flowers and leaves and vines, and. Wait. These things. They’re Treefingers. You're Treefingers! And they’re staring at us welcomingly. Me and the duck. Guess they're not threatened.

12:31 PM I asked one of them where they took Donnie. They’re looking at each other oddly. Do you guys not talk? Do you know any Treefingers who do? I'm being led somewhere now.

12:33 PM This is an arena. You guys do, like, cagefighting here?

12:34 PM One of the Treefingers told me, if I want to see Donnie again, I must challenge “the beast,” for it is the beast that Donnie is being sacrificed to. ..okay I hate these guys again. I’m doing it. For Donnie.

12:36 PM The air’s getting a little thick. I’m coughing a bit. Where are you, beast? Tiger Stripes, give me… ..Treefingers are approaching. They said the beast has been called off. Donnie is being released. o_o Okay. Works for me, I suppose. Do I look that intimidating? ...was it the duck?!

12:39 PM Being taken to Donnie, down into some rooms caked in mud.

12:41 PM DONNIE OH GOD I MISSED THAT HUG. She looks pretty shaken. They didn't hurt her, though. Let's get the hell out of here. Take the duck.

12:45 PM “Someone would like to speak with you before you go.” In a big mud hut, outside. Their leader or something? o_o

12:46 PM Oh dear god. How'd you get the wooden suit back? YES, Mistress! Hello! Oh, how I have completely missed you! "I've come back from my exquisite tour of the Bahamas, and I am so pleased to see you again. I know, I know, you had places to go, and you did a fine job of role-playing with me last time we saw each other, so I forgive you for just ducking and running. But I heard you were in the area, so I thought I'd have you come by and say 'Hello.'" ...hello. "You've managed to hold onto your girl all this time. Haven't broken her heart yet. ..hoho, just a joke!" …what do you want, Harlequin? "Ouch. I did get the message, you know. You.. shut the door on me quite clearly. Both of you!" donnie's not saying a word "These plant guys, they're so much nicer. They give me what I want. They seem to think I have connections? Whatever might have given them that idea?" … "God, look at you. You're so scared of me. Like, actually scared. Listen. I'm not gonna make this any more awkward than this has to be. I saw you were in the area, and I just wanted to give you a word of warning." ... What is it? "I'm not the only bad guy in the world, y'know? And as far as the totem pole of power goes, I'm hardly even on the radar. You made it to America? Took the long way. Put so much work into it. To what, to escape? Sky's still red here. And me, I'm still here. Maybe you did escape something, but you're just so... clueless about it! "So that's my warning: You don't know what you're running from, and that means you don't know what you're running into either. You just don't know." Yeah… "Yeah? So, you'd better find someone who does." giggle donnie "Thanks for the advice. Can we go now?" waves her hand "You have cities to see, drugs to take, a job to do, worlds to save, whatever." Well. Uh. she's looking right at me now. with that unmoving mask of a face. ...bye? o_o; silence ...

2:39 PM We.. got moving after that. That was.. weird. I even kinda forgot it happened and wasn't a fever dream until I picked up my journal to update it and saw it really written there. Donnie definitely didn't want to talk about it. I don't know what we'd even say about it. And now we’re getting close to New York. Duck travel is good travel.

3:21 PM Most of the creatures around here are zombies. It’s getting pretty dull.

4:04 PM …wow, a spidercat!!! VARIETY!

4:27 PM We’ve come across a large body of water. God, we're gonna need a boat. Wait no. Boating’s for squares. Get with the circles. Better yet, get with the rhombi. "Jordan, what the fuck are you talking about?" We need a rabbit hole! "Jordan, we're on a giant duck."

4:28 PM went right into the water, no problem. quack Well. Okay, I feel silly.

5:25 PM yeah yeah we made it across no problem, but guess where we found our way to now? Broadway Street! We’re in New York City! Skyscrapers piercing the red sky with their manmade majesty, streets as empty as London’s were. Okay okay okay, where to now? Shit, that’s a really good question. I know I (should) have a very good friend here, but this is a fucking huge city. who knows if she’s still here.

5:28 PM ..graffiti on the side of a clothes shop! “embracethearchangel“ I’ve seen this message before. Still no spacebar, but it’s significant. “RAPTURE IS COMING, CAN’T YOU FEEL IT, IT’S COMING AND IT’S COMING SOON” “A voice speaks to me: Would you like to see?” “NORTH OF TOWN IS PLAGUE TERRITORY, STAY OUT” “What did Doctor Cloud discover in the Genera?” “But it’s all in a mouse’s night to take on all those who fight” ..someone’s coming.

5:31 PM It’s an older man, long black hair going grey, a mustache, trenchcoat. He’s wearing one red glove. o_o

5:32 PM “Welcome to America, White Jester. You’ve got a lot of work to do.” Um. Alright. And who are you? “Oh, you’ll get to know. All in good time. But you're gonna want to know, you're expected at the Soho Grand Hotel." Expected? How do you know me? "Pfft. White Jester? Arsonist of Paris? You're known." Wait, that wasn't me! "And furthermore, do you not know you're being followed?" I'm what? We're what? "I did my job. You know where to go. Watch your back." walks away Well. Okay. o_o Guess we'll go look for a building by DAMN NAME and NO ADDRESS!!!

5:50 PM Soho Grand Hotel. Parked our duck outside. The lobby’s huge. Broken glass everywhere, chairs overturned, doors closing DOOR AFTER THAT DOOR

5:51 PM The world has too many hallways. I see a mirror at the end of the hall. Damn, my suit is nice. :3 Staircase up here.

5:52 PM ‘Nother mirror down there. Seriously, I love that suit. .w. Have I gotten taller? We’re calling out for my friend. If she hears us, she’ll come out.

5:53 PM Up these stairs! I take it all these halls have mirrors. Beautiful suit, Jordan. Fits you much too well. >w> .why am I the only one up h oh, I’m not. Donnie's right there. ..then where’s her OH THAT'S NOT A MIRROR THAT'S THE FUCKING SLENDER MAN WHAT DO WE DO IN THIS SITUATION, DO WE MAKE A LOT OF NOISE? WAVE OUR ARMS? that's bears, DO WE HIDE IN A ROOM? DO WE RUN DOWN THE STAIRS? "GET DOWN!" FUCK budda budda budda

5:57 PM We're in a hotel room now. A dude in big fuck-off military gear escorted us to safety. Donnie's asking the man if he really just shot at the slender man with a high-powered rifle. "Yes, ma'am. That's policy." Hey, it worked! donnie "It scared it off, sure! But that thing didn't bleed. You can't kill it! What if you just pissed it off?" "Then I pissed it off. You two didn't." "Okay, your funeral." You say this is 'policy?' The government's? "That's right." Huh. Are we, like. Okay? Did we walk into a top-secret base or anything? "You're fine. This is civilian property. We do a routine sweep every day, as the Soho's one of the places we've designated a safe zone." 'We,' like, the military? "Yep." donnie "We were told we were expected here? Were you expecting us?" "It's a routine sweep of a hotel. I expect civilians, but I do not know who you specifically are." "..huh." "Dinner's in the restaurant below around 8. Scream if you see any more monsters; someone will hear you. Goodnight."

6:00 PM What just happened? Did we just, like, get lucky? "Maybe we're still expected. He said this was a safe zone, and this room looks pretty clean. There may be lots of people staying here." Yeah... probably!

6:22 PM Nothing. No one's at reception. There were some cooks in the restaurant getting set up, so people are definitely here, but the cooks hadn't heard anything. They pointed us to a small office on the ground floor that was being used as reception, and.. no one's there! Are we supposed to go knocking on every door in this hotel?

6:57 PM this is stupid "look, we'll just try a few more, and then take a break." I would much rather be chilling in our hotel room "we can do that later! after dinner!" but that's an hour away! :C "do it for me? ;)" …

8:10 PM Fuck yeah, dinner! I'm having pizza! :D

8:50 PM GOODNIGHT, JOURNAL!

(Attached: “Jordan's arrival in America is hard to make sense of, about to get harder. There are two different angles to consider: the American gods curious about the boy who stood up to a Fear; and Jordan's own background, which he tries to avoid focusing on. We have a lot to get through, so I'll clarify what I can when I can. Watch for song lyrics.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[reyski]

could I get armin x reader where they both have crushes on eachother and eren and jean tease them about it? maybe a confession scene? if not thats fine, make sure you drink water and sleep and all that

i’m on a bit of an armin kick so i thought id do this just for kicks. also sorry if you dont like fics with drug use, but i think its incredibly hot. 

pairing: armin x reader (post timeskip media: attack on titan content warnings: drinking, joint smoking note: gender neutral reader!! 

it was a little hard to admit to yourself that you had a crush on armin. you had met through mutual friends (eren) a couple years ago, and even then you were quick to dismiss the little butterflies you felt when he would sit close to you, or say your name. but after a couple months of secretly pining you decided it would be best to admit it, at least to yourself.

a normally smart person, it was entirely too embarrassing how you would trip and fumble over your words when you were around him. letting out nervous laughs, and trying to play off your mistakes was becoming increasingly annoying. and after your friend's weekly hangouts you were bombarded with texts from eren and jean with texts to "just fucking admit it already" and "jesus christ he probably already knows". but every time you thought about asking armin to talk in private, and confessing your little crush your hands shook and your chest became tight just thinking about how he would react.

why would you risk your friendship with armin over a stupid crush that would probably just end in shambles? jean always told you that you had nothing to worry about, and that even if armin turned you down you would always be friends. but you knew that it would be different, not something that your friendship could just bounce back from.

after class one day you and eren, who had been working on a sociology paper in the library, were sitting waiting for lunch that you had just ordered.

"come on you know he'd probably faint if you told him you like him, right?" eren prompted.

"yeah yeah yeah, as if your little conjecture about what armin 'would do' is gonna get me to fold" you retorted, making eren give you a disgruntled look. his lips curving down into a small frown.

"well you're never gonna get anywhere with that attitude"

"im not trying to get anywhere, just leave it alone" another annoyed look was shot your way.

"fine. but if i go crazy waiting for one of you to make a move it's on you" eren said finally relinquishing after the number on his receipt was called by the woman behind the counter.

"fine" you said to yourself quietly as he walked away to pick up the food.

the next couple of days you spent with your mind crowded by the idea of armin possibly mirroring your desire. every time you tried to sit down and work on an assignment questions flooded your brain. you tried to weigh out the pros and cons of confessing, but ultimately it made no difference in your plight.

suddenly it was a couple hours before you were going over to jean's house to see everyone and you were staring at nearly your entire closet thrown around your room.

‘ugh fuck what am i doing, it's not like anyone's taking notes on what i’m wearing’ you noticed you were definitely thinking of armin when you said 'anyone' and groaned a second time, hating how much having a little crush could affect you.

finally picking up something off the floor and wiggling your way into it, fixing your now-tousled-hair and looking into the mirror once again.

‘eh good enough’ you said defeatedly, picking up your things and giving yourself one more once-over to make sure you weren't missing anything. your heart was beating uncomfortably after getting in your car.

after driving over to jean's you parked a block away and quickly walking up his driveway, noticing you were 20 minutes late.

‘shit im definitely getting flack for this’, you knocked on the door shouting a quick "open up!", and hearing shuffling coming towards the door followed by the jingling of the handle and a "jean how the hell do you unlock this thing" along with more shuffling.

when the door finally opened up you were greeted by the friendly faces of sasha and jean beaming at you. hearing a chorus of "hi"s as you walked in and set your stuff down. deliberately not looking around too much in fear of making eye contact with armin and giving yourself away.

"geez what took you so long, we’re almost through the first round" connie remarked as you turned around to say hi to everyone.

"oh wowww, did you save me one?" you asked, mildly joking to connie.

you felt a presence next to you and a small nudge on your shoulder, followed by the clearing of a throat.

"here, i saved mine too so you wouldn't feel too left out" armin said, handing you a can of whatever eren got his hands on this time, shooting you a small smile. you accepted it, returning the smile with a "oh thanks!", cracking open the tab and taking a small sip while observing your friends all going back to whatever they were talking about before you arrived.

you sat around and joked for a while, getting to the end of your can, and settling for whatever other shitty alcohol there was lying around. slowly becoming more inebriated by the minute, you resigned to sitting on the sofa listening to mikasa and sasha hash it out over a small argument, laughing along to the commotion.

the alcohol in your system had dulled any previous worries about armin, so immersed in the conversation that you almost forgot about it until he sat down next to you.

feeling the sofa dip you looked over, "oh hey, hows it going" you asked.

"im ok, just needed a break from eren and connie. too much energy" he said slowly, also obviously feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"you dont say? god i would have never guessed" you joked. armin cracked a smile and let out a small chuckle at your sarcasm.

a bit of silence between the two of you before he leaned over and whispered for you to follow him over to the kitchen. you gave him a quizzical look and slowly stood up to follow him where he was headed. as you rounded the corner into the kitchen you saw him leaning over to pull something out of his backpack, turned so you couldn’t see exactly what he was getting. looking over your shoulder to see what was happening out in the main room you noticed everyone carrying on, not noticing your sudden absence. 

“ok lets go” armin said turning around with a joint sitting in the palm of his hand. 

raising your eyebrows you responded “oh i didn’t know we were smoking tonight, i would have brought my stuff”. 

“dont worry about it, i just brought it incase anyone was interested” his eyes flickered to yours through his bangs and then back down to the joint. 

“right right, should i go see who wants to join” you started turning towards the open door before armin made a ‘shhh’ sound and waved his hand towards you. 

“i was thinking that we could just go alone, it’s not really that much anyways” he said, even though it was clearly untouched and enough to go around your group at least twice. 

“oh! yeah sure lets go” you said quietly, heart just about jumping out of you, body trembling at the slight hint that he wanted to be alone with you. you shook your head a bit, trying to return to the present moment and not overthink it. he probably just wanted to get away from the commotion. 

you walked together quietly through the back part of the house, reaching the backdoor. armin pulled it open and ushered you through, closing the door behind him. you both sat down on the small steps down to jean’s backyard. armin fished a lighter from his pants pockets, fumbling trying to find it, offering the joint in your direction, asking if you wanted the first hit. you took it out of his hand, placing between your fingers as armin held the lighter up allowing you to get it started. 

the peaceful glow of the lighter spread across your faces, illuminating the darkness for a second before you leaned back and puffed out a cloud of smoke toward the empty yard, sighing in contentment. you handed the joint over, letting armin have a turn and letting the feeling of smoke in your lungs settle, relaxing a little more into your spot on the steps. quietly you passed it back and forth until it was just about gone, and the burn of the weed was almost intolerable. 

“do you want to go back in?” armin asked after another moment, looking at you but not making any movements to get up. 

“no, its nice out here, and besides if we go back in now they’ll be mad we smoked without them” you said in response, smiling a bit to yourself thinking about your friends and their antics. 

“true” armin giggled “i just wanted to make sure you weren’t bored of me” he joked. your eyes widening. 

“never! i don’t know why i’ve been so quiet lately, just thinking about things” you explained, looking at armin meekly. his eyebrows raising in question. 

“thinking about what? you know i’m always here to talk” he sounded genuinely interested in what was troubling you. 

“eh nothing, just life things you know? don’t worry about it” you dismissing his question knowing full well what exactly you were so worked up about. 

“yeah i get it, life’s weird like that. sometimes i get so wrapped up in it i don’t know what to do with myself” you shot him a concerned look, turning a little more towards him. 

“you want to tell me about it?” you asked, prompting armin to let out a laugh, his head falling back.

“hey! you cant just brush me off and then ask the exact same question to me” he smiled, and you felt yourself jump a bit at his beauty. 

“i’m not brushing you off, its just hard to talk about” 

“you want to try?” 

“only if you tell me about yours too. otherwise i’m kind of getting the short end of the stick” you persuaded him, in a moment of bravery. 

“oh gosh we wouldn’t want that” the sides of his eyes crinkled a bit, giving you the go ahead to start talking. 

you felt the repercussions of your words coming back to you, not knowing whether to lie, make an excuse, or just tell him the truth. your heart started beating faster, and butterflies erupted in your stomach. small bits of sound came out of your mouth in an attempt to start talking but no words came out. 

“i ... ah i don’t know its just...uh” you fumbled as armin looked intently at you, eyes gleaming in the most spectacular way, letting you know that he was listening. 

“i think theres something wrong with me” you relinquished as armin’s gaze turned to worry. 

“theres nothing wrong with you, you’re perfect” he said plainly, as if he hadn’t just frazzled you even more and given you the best compliment you’d ever received. you felt your face grow hotter, cheeks buzzing with heat. 

“is that what you’ve been so worried about?” armin asked, mouth creating a small frown. you shook your head, not saying anything else.

a moment passed, you both sank back into the silence of the minute before. you turned your gaze to your lap, but could still feel armin looking at you. you felt him wanting to say something, but another moment passed with nothing said. there was definitely something different about this silence, it wasn’t as comfortable as the one before, and you could tell there was something hanging in the air. you felt the pressure building up inside you, feeling that maybe your comment made it awkward. in a moment of recklessness, and an attempt to break the silence, you slipped out,

“i think i might like you but i didn’t want to make things weird and i know you probably don’t like me back but now its already weird so i might as well tell you” breathing deeply, not looking over at armin who remained in silence. your cheeks somehow even hotter than they were before, and your whole body trembling. 

another moment passed, and you finally decided to take a small peek over at armin. you slid your eyes to the side not moving your head, and he sat eyes wide open, and lips sightly parted in surprise (image). your eyes darted back down into your lap, already regretting your actions, and preparing to just get up and go back inside. your eyes burned in a tell-tale way, you shifted to get up. 

a little tug on your arm “hey” you paused to see if he would say anything else, “i think...we feel the same way” he finished, and to both of your relief you turned back around and sat back down. 

“you do?”

“yeah” 

“thats good” 

“hah, yeah” he chuckled, his own cheeks turning pink and his eyes shimmering in the minimal light. armin turned towards you, 

“would you mind if i kissed you?” armin questioned “no pressure”. you turned away in the good kind of embarrassment, unintentionally smiling.

 “please do”

yayyy lmk what you guys think!! i sincerely hope this isnt toooo gushy and cringy. 

as always feed and water yourself! <33

[transsexualhamlet]

I’ve never been part of an ask game before and cannot currently remember what any I’ve seen looked like — probably because that information would be useful rn, do I just type the emojis out like this? Can I do multiple? Idk, but uh — thank you for this, I like your questions they’re really nice, and also here

💔👁️🏛️👋

Thank you again, sorry if I’m doing it wrong, or if this was for a specific group of people and I missed that (I’m just gonna stop typing now, bye ^^ thanks again)

No worries at all! Ask games are for anyone who wants to participate. If you want to receive asks about these as well as asking them, all you have to do is reblog the post so people know you're interested.

tma ask game !!

💔- I have already answered this one, but my answer as to which fear would create the most datable avatars I would say either the vast or the buried, depending on if you prefer heights or small spaces. They don't have any traits that would immediately make them immediately unbearable and I sort of see the romance in both. Maybe I am a little bonkers but yk...

👋- What characters that don't meet in canon would you like to see interact?

Obviously Jon and Gerry did technically meet, but not while Gerry was alive. I've seen people say this before of course but it's such a shame, I think they could have been a really good really supportive duo for each other.

In seriousness though, Alice and Tim. This is the answer for me, because the problem is neither Tim nor Alice have anyone in the office that can match their freak to the slightest. My god they would have gotten on so well. They would have been insufferably catty besties, why do they have to live in different universes...

🏛️- How do you think you would fare as the Archivist?

I honestly think I'm more qualified for the position than Jon, at least I have job, volunteer, and college experience with libraries and archival. However the problem is that it has very little bearing on the actual job because your actual job is trying not to die hardcore all the time.

I think I would make... similar decisions to Jon for the most part, other than not being as much of an asshole to Martin. Jon's not much less of a wimp than me, so at least I wouldn't do *worse* physically. However because of the fact that I am largely tiny and powerless, I would... hesitate a lot less to take on avatarhood, because to me the moral quandry just goes out the window when the other option is "people are trying to kill me and everyone else painfully". So what if I get a little nosy. Admittedly I would also think it's cool as fuck.

👁️- Do you have any experiences you'd like to make a statement about?

I've had several low-key encounters that have baffled me over time, and if I had to place them into TMA categories most of them would have been spiral aligned, but the one that comes to mind first is... weird?

This was back last year, either during Thanksgiving or Winter break, I was out on a walk in the woods with my brother on a vacation up north and we kept hearing these extremely faint repeating strings of circus like music. I know, I know, however this occured before I had listened to TMA or had any associations with circus music. Looking back on it, though, if I had to correlate it, it felt almost more in tune with music related to the slaughter than the stranger. But so at first, only I could hear it and my brother was like... you're crazy, and then it sort of trickled away after a little bit and I was like yeah I must have just imagined it because we were in the MIDDLE of the WOODS. But then it came back again and it was the exact same like, four measure sequence but slightly different? That time my brother did hear it, but it disappeared again. We continued to walk quite a ways thru the woods on the path we had already planned on going, and we forgot about it for a while, but eventually it came back, no easier or harder to hear despite the fact that we were quite far away from where we had originally heard it. It came back a couple more times, always just slightly fucking Wrong in a really weird way, never exactly the same but never part of any like, real conceivable song, just a string of notes that most definitely came from instruments and not natural phenomena, and as soon as we left the woods we didn't hear it again. The only thing we could think it might have been was like, the college band practicing, since we were like... kind of closeish to a state school campus, but it was during a holiday when college was most definitely not in session, and the only part of campus we were even remotely close to was the science and medical sector which would obviously not have a band practicing, not to mention outside and loud enough to be heard a mile away. Even if for some reason there was a band practicing there, there were unreasonably long periods of silence in between the repeating music (I know how band practices go, they don't sound like that) and neither does it explain why the music couldn't be tracked to any location and sounded the same nearly a mile apart.

Not terribly *frightening*, really, especially since I was not alone and it was like, 4 PM, so it wouldn't make very good Archivist food, but certainly something that I keep thinking about.

Thank you for asking again!!

[marvellousinternethideout]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Season 2

Ep 6 - Halloween

Why does this vampire looks like sam Winchester or is it just me?

That's a creepy vampire. Recording Buffy fighting. Weird kink but okay...

Oh no, not again, not the Cordelia and Angel misunderstanding. Disappear Cordelia.

Buffy and angel(the actors) do have the chemistry that you just have it. They have the spark, that breathlessness, that angst and I will die without you presence.

Lmao not the principal whipping out three pens as if any school would be this rich. Unbelievable. Unrealistic.

Go xander beat that guy or... Well buffy did, nvm.

"Boys are so fragile", willow speaking facts.

Reading about angel in library... Yeah that will end well. No dark secrets.

Lmao not buffy using ms calendar card.

"a babe, i can work with that", oh my poor adorable Mr. Giles. My man.

"oh buffy you must be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever but when it comes to dating I am the slayer" , that was such a Cordelia thing lol.

Buffy is gonna wear the dress...is it haunted or angel gonna die by a boner after seeing her in this? Stay tuned, we'll see.

What accent does spike have? British...?

Spike saying, "talk to daddy", it was hot and eww at the same time.

Someone new is gonna come..well well...interesting.

Buffy kinda looks like nina/Elena/Katherine pierce in this dress. Probably just me.

OZ BABY!!!

OZ AND WILLOW JUST BUMPED!!

Damn, wtf! Now people are just randomly turning into monsters or ghosts...or past life soldier?

Oh they're turning into what they've dressed up. I love this! Oh I love this episode.

Lol, buffy just fainted. In this scene, she does remind me of Katherine when she was innocent.

Even demon magic can't change Cordelia lmao.

I can't have amnesia because "I bathe quite often" Okay ms buffy from 70's lmao.

Oh hey angel, you finally came, welcome to the amnesia demon magic land.

Evil shop guy.

I am sorry, "hello Ethan" , "hello Rupert(I heard ripper for some reason and got a shock of this lifetime)". They know each other. It's gonna be interesting.

Damn, soldier Xander is kinda die for hot. I have a thing for him, the soldier xander, not the normal one.

Holy, Rupert has got a dark past. HOLY FUCK, DID HE JUST HIT THE ETHAN, DAMN GILES. Who is he really ?

Oh so he did say ripper or still Rupert. Who is GILES. DAMN, SIR.

Yesss buffy is back. You go my girl.

Yes willow, embrace your hotness

LMAO, NOT OZ. HIS FACE 💀💀OZ MY GUY. HE'S GONE GONE. Oz and willow, my OTP from now on.

Angel we're not dissing women of old eras. They had no choice, so shut up.

Giles just got more interesting, what happened to the awkward mess? Who is he?

Why are we in chemistry (?) Lab. Giles my man wtf are you doing!

WHO IS RUPERT GILES REALLY!?

Also spike was in it but he didn't interest me as much but can we talk about Giles, who is he again?

Okay, phew, this episode.

First of all, I loved loved this episode. So far it's my favorite. It had everything, drama, craziness, humor - different from the other episodes - and I really loved it. Again, turning people into their Halloween costume - a masterpiece 🤌. I absolutely loved this plot.

I loved watching Buffy's character being this woman lmao. Xander as the soldier - my heart, he really looked and even sounded hot. Willow as always my adorable hot girl. And we had OZ. Mr. Who's that girl. Adore this guy lol.

Now, WTF GILES? WHO ARE YOU? WHO IS HE!? I swear to God it took me by surprise. Damn Giles. Everyone here has a dark past(minus the teenagers but living in this town, they're well on their way).

Anyway, fav episode so far, loved every second of it. That's it for now, see ya in the next one. Cheers 🥂

[hanmi-xo]

Chapter 5: "What Once Was"

| Between Us | Chapter List |

Previous | Next ------------------

| M I N G H A O |

"Minghao?" Her voice was soft yet delicate. It was like a lullaby that calmed a troubled soul.

But who was she?

I couldn't see her face. The light shined too bright behind her and caused her to glow. I had to bring my hand up to protect my eyes. It was like I was talking to an angel or some supernatural being.

But I didn't feel scared. I didn't feel any tremor. I was more curious than anything, and I wished the damn light would get out of my eyes.

The distance that once separated us closed. Her hand reached out towards me. Her fingers were gentle on my face.

I wanted to speak, but I couldn't. Even with my mouth open, nothing came out.

The light soon dimmed down and the young lady's face was revealed. I couldn't move. Her brown eyes glistened as if she could read me. As if she wanted me to stay.

"Lihua?"

A rush of adrenaline came through me. I shot my eyes open.

The sunlight was slowly peeking through my blinds and I was met with my ceiling. I rubbed my eyes to see what was real and what wasn't real. What I experienced... was that a dream?

I raised my hand and softly slapped my cheek...

I felt it sting, and I winced from the hit... so then...

Did I just have a dream of Lihua? No fucking way...

Anger and frustration crept over me like a shadow. I didn't like it. I didn't like how I had a dream of her. What was I thinking? What could have made me dream of her?

I grabbed my phone off my night stand to see what time it could be.

7:43 am

I sighed, and I laid my head deep into my pillow. I covered my face with my free hand to calm my nerves. I can't believe that happened...

Why did I dream of her?

I usually dream of work or falling off a buildings. You know, one of those stupid dreams. It's been awhile since I've dreamt of a girl. So why in the world did have a dream of her?

I scoffed.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I mutter.

I tried to calm my beating heart, but I heard my phone ring with a notification.

I felt my heart race and a sense of anxiety overwhelm me. She accepted my follow request...

"What the fuck."

—

| L I H U A |

I can hear the others singing their lungs out downstairs. Their vocal cords were faint, but the way the music vibrated my room made it hard for me to read my book. The bass rang and shook the space as if I was in the palm of its hand.

I laid in my bed while the others partied. I tried to ignore their loud noises, but even with headphones on my body can feel beats of the melody.

It was Saturday, and the guys were here partying with the girls. Fallon seemed to be thrilled of the idea of having a get-together since she was stressed with school- even telling her good friend and classmate Junhui to come along. She's been spending a lot of time with him, and I could only assume that he may be someone she's interested in.

Even if it was Soonyoung's party, Fallon still had control over it since it's technically her house. Besides, who would protest over her inviting a friend?

I remember her talking about Junhui earlier to week. Since Junhui was an international student, she wanted him to feel welcome, and she was hoping my brother and his friends would let him into their circle.

I did tell Dokyeom about Fallon's request, and he said that he'll be more than happy to have another friend.

I'm not sure if Junhui showed up though. I've been in my room before my brother and his friends arrived.

Earlier, Dokyeom would check on me every once in awhile, but it's been a few hours since he last knocked on my door. They're probably having a good time.

The party was supposed to end at 9pm... it's already 10:32pm.

I took off my headphones and grabbed my bag.

Maybe I should head to the library or something? I know I should stick around, but I was never good with social events like this. Even the reunion felt tiring before Joshua showed up, and all he did was make it worst.

Joshua...

Ever since I blocked him, he hasn't been bothering me. It was nice not having to deal with his messages, but I had a strange feeling he might come around again. I saw his post a few days back about me before I blocked him.

Wanting a 2nd chance or whatever, but I don't think I'd want that- I don't think I'd want to make it work. What happened before is long gone.

I got over him years before. I don't need to be reminded of him.

What he said when he broke up with me still lingers. It's something I try to ignore, and now that Joshua's back in town, it's like he's reopening my stitches. Just thinking about him gives me a headache.

I took a deep breath before sighing to release my frustration. I tossed everything I needed into my bag before putting it on. Would the library even be open at this time? Should I just go to that cafe nearby?

I heard Senko get off my bed to follow me. His paws softly smacked the floor with the pitter-patter sound of his short nails.

"I don't think you should come Senko," I say to my pup before putting on my leather backpack.

He smiled at me with his tongue out not understand anything I'm saying. He just wanted to be wherever I went like the affectionate animal he is. It was hard to say no to him. He's too loving to me.

"Alright," I said, kneeling down to his level. "I guess you can come."

He barked before twirling around in circles. I laughed at his silliness before getting his leash off the hook that hung on my wall.

I opened my door and watched my dog jump around before leading the way.

--

| M I N G H A O |

I watched the others have the time of their life with slight anxiety. I didn't want to have the responsibility of taking care of the drunk, and a part of me was hoping to leave before anyone could notice how sober I am.

I wanted to go, but a part of me was telling me to stay. It was amusing watching them drunk, but I don't want to be anyone's chaperone.

Almost everyone was singing. Soonyoung was taking lead with the song and Dokyeom would put adlibs whenever he had the chance. I sat on the couch and witnessed it all happen with empty bottles of alcohol scattered on the table along paper plates of eaten and almost eaten food.

The girls were drunk along with Soonyoung. Their voices were enthusiastic but their words were almost incoherent with the way they slurred them together.

Seungcheol was still holding himself together even after taking multiple shots. Dokyeom, on the other hand, was about to lose himself.

"PAAAAARTY!" Dokyeom yelled with Soonyoung and the girls cheering behind him.

"WOOOO!" They yelled in unison after Dokyeom.

Soonyoung tried handing the mic to me, but I quickly got up with a shake of my hand in refusal. I need some water. The living room felt too warm with all this body heat.

Before I left to grab a water bottle, I can heard Seungcheol take lead with the next song. I can only assume he took the mic after I left.

"SOSOSOSO RIGHT NOW!" I heard him sing while everyone hyped him up with encouraging words.

Their shouts were getting less loud the further I got away from the living room. It felt good to be alone. It let me catch my breath and recharge my social battery.

I grabbed a cold water bottle from the cooler before taking a sip. It was refreshing and cooled my soul. I sighed in bliss before taking another sip.

A certain brunette came to view and I almost spat out my drink.

Lihua's eyes looked at me for a moment before waving at me. I turned around to stop myself from having water come out of my nose.

She looked the same as she did in my dream...

Why the hell does she look like that.

I can hear her go around me to grab a water bottle from the cooler. I slowly turned around to see her figure ready to leave, but her dog seemed to be wanting something.

Senko barked and twirled around as if he was trying to speak, and Lihua smiled at her dog before grabbing what seemed like dog treats from the cabinet.

"Okay, okay," she says. "You can get a snack after your walk."

Walk?

She was going for a walk? In the middle of the night? Why would she do that?

"Why would you go for a walk at a time like this?" I couldn't help but express my dislike towards her decision. "It's dangerous to go alone." My tone was rather rude from my sudden concern over her.

If she got hurt, who knows what happens? I don't want anything happening... I mean, Dokyeom would lose his mind if anything were to happen to her.

Lihua was surprised by my words and looked at me with wide eyes.

"I was only going to go for a walk then come back," she said meekly. She seemed taken back from my words. "Maybe go to the cafe or library or something..."

"Well don't," I tell her. "I don't need you wandering around while everyone else is drunk."

If anything were to happen to her, I highly doubt our drunk friends could do anything. Seungcheol may seem alright for now, but I know he'll pass out in an hour- leaving me to be the only one to be fine.

Her brother is literally talking to a paper plate as we speak, and she wishes to go out right now?

Lihua's eyes drifted away from mine. She seemed rather disappointed. Did I hurt her feelings?

"...Alright," she said. Her voice was almost inaudible to hear. "Come on Senko..."

She turned away from me with a low spirit. It was difficult to see her walk away like this. I didn't mean to ruin her mood.. I haven't spoken to her in over a week, and our conversation was going to be cut short like that?

At least argue with me or something...

I hated how she didn't bother looking at me when all I could do was stare at her. I wish she didn't have to push me away so easily as if I was some stranger to her. Could she at least pretend we're friends so I wouldn't feel like this around her?

I scoffed to get her attention.

"Do you really want to leave that bad?" I ask her.

I need her to look at me. I want her to say something. I didn't go to the party just to deal with my drunk friends and some girls their friends with-

I came because of this stupid woman.

It's because of that stupid dream, I fucking swear. My heart won't shut up. Will my gut stop twisting and let me breathe?

"Yeah," Lihua said in defeat.

Her eyes drew across the floor before meeting mine. She played with the leash in her hand while Senko sat there with his tongue out, not understanding a word we were saying.

"Wait.. what?" I almost forgot what I asked her. The way my body reacted towards her was distracting.

If I could punch myself, I would- just so I can talk to her normally.

Lihua looked towards the living room while she rubbed her arm. I followed her gaze and saw our loud friends chanting some random words.

"KUNG CHI PAK CHI, KUNG CHI PAK CHI, YEAH!" They all yelled.

Their voices were like sirens with the way it bounced throughout the house. I can see why she would want to leave. Our friends are way too loud. It was like monkeys let loose.

I turned to look at her, and her eyes met mine. A tingle set out through me with a follow of nervousness, but I ignored it. I ignored the feelings that were bothering me like a buzzing bee.

"Do really want to get out of here?" I ask her.

She nodded her head with a slight confused look. I hate to admit how cute she looked doing that, and I cursed at myself for even thinking that.

"Yes... why?" She asks.

Fuck it.

"I'll go with you," I say ignoring all sense and nonsense within me.

It took a moment for her to react, but the moment she realized what I said- her face brightened.

It was like I saw a flower blossomed for the first time. I cover my lips to hide the curls that came up on its own.

What's wrong with me?

—-

| L I H U A |

The night sky looked so pretty. I leaned on the railing that separated me from the ocean. I had a view of the town and the view of the horizon in the distance. Minghao seemed to know this hidden area- saying that instead of going to the library of cafe, we can stay here for a bit before our friends get too crazy.

We were only 10-15 minutes from home, but it felt so nice like I was away from the world.

The lights twinkling from the buildings and boats. They gave this lovely glow to this chilly night. There was life even at the darkest hour and I smiled at the thought. It left this fuzzy feeling inside me, and I was enthralled by all of it.

I sighed in bliss.

I felt a pair of eyes staring at me and I turned to look at the man who brought me here.

Minghao stood next to me but his focus went to the scenery in front of us. For a moment I thought I he was looking my way. Maybe I was wrong?

The sound of the waves crashing onto the cement wall below us filled the air with the follow of a ship pulling its horn. In the distance I can see lighthouse guide its way to town.

My mom used to being me to that light house... She said it's like a beacon of light that lets people know where home is.

"You really like sightseeing," I heard Minghao suddenly say.

I stared at him. His eyes wavered from the stars before looking at me.

I smiled. He wasn't wrong. I always did have a fascination with how things looked around me.

"The world is pretty in person, and if I could paint the moment, I would," I tell him.

"Why don't you paint then?" He asks me.

I shook my head with a smile before looking back at the landscape ahead of us.

"I lost that touch years ago," I say. The memory of Joshua came to mind.

"Why's that?" Minghao asks me.

My eyes met his again. He seemed curious, and his face of focus was amusing to witness. But could I tell him about Joshua? I thought he would know from Dokyeom or Seungcheol. Then again, why would he care? I am a woman after all...

"Did my brother not tell you what happened?" I ask him.

Minghao seemed rather confused by my words. He narrowed his brows.

"No, what happened?" He asks me.

It was strange to see him so interested. Then again, he probably doesn't want us to be filled with silence.

I guess I should tell him...

---

| M I N G H A O |

She spoke with a clear voice but her eyes were heavy. Maybe I shouldn't have asked about her change of heart, but I couldn't help but seek an answer.

"Joshua was my muse," Lihua says, but her eyes weren't on me. She was staring off into the distance.

Joshua? The guys mentioned him before...He was at the reunion.

Wait- so that means they were together?

"Most of my art was inspired by him, and when we broke up..." her voice slowed down before she sighed.

This was a tough topic, and I was ready to change it. I didn't like how she seemed to appear so heavy hearted.

"We can change the topic," I tell her in hopes she would agree.

She looked at me with those dark orbs that had the moons reflection. I couldn't help but gaze at her. She tilted her head at me as if I said something she didn't understand.

She hummed with a smiled that seemed too good on her. "It's alright. I don't mind sharing. After all, you did ask. It wouldn't be right to ignore your question even when I'm already answering it."

The way she looked towards me and spoke made me feel funny. It was that strange feeling again, and I tried to ignore it. But I couldn't stop looking at her.

"Alright," I say.

She nodded her head before continuing where she left off. She was telling me what happened with Joshua and her. What happened in high school, but I can tell with the way she spoke about the topic, she left some parts out. Most likely for the sake of her personal well being.

"Joshua was my first love," she says. "He was there whenever I had no one to talk to, but even though he courted me and asked me out, I became the fool of it all."

I watched the way her brows knitted together while she reminisced of what once was. She was hurt, and she was hiding it. I wanted to say something to cheer her up.

But I didn't know how.

I couldn't help but feel angry. Not towards her, but towards that man that was hardly a man.

---

| L I H U A |

It was weird talking about this topic with him, but Minghao has been more talkative lately. It wouldn't be right to ignore his curiosity.

"A few months after graduation," I say before sighing.

The memory was still clear even after these years. I felt annoyed and upset by the thought, but even so, there's nothing that can change the past.

"Joshua broke up with me because of his modeling career." I remember the way Joshua spoke so highly about his dream job and how the moment he got the job opportunity, he was already ready to say his goodbyes.

It was bitter, not even sweet.

I stared at the lights that luminescence the town buildings in hopes to distract my disheartened spirit.

"I remember it all a little too well," I mutter. "Saying that models like him shouldn't be someone like me. Someone that isn't close to his league whatever you want to call it...I was considered to be below his level or whatever. It could be Jeonghan who told him to say that or it could really be coming from his heart. Whatever the case was, Joshua was ready to leave me. I saw it coming, but I didn't want to leave first because of this false hope I had in him... but I was the fool for even thinking he'd stay."

I couldn't even cry talking about him. I felt no sense of needing to. He's not worth my tears or my time, but a part of me wished I did. A part of me wished that I still had that Joshua I first met- not the Joshua who became like Jeonghan...

I glanced over at Minghao. He was quiet but his eyes were on me. He had an expression that I couldn't read. He seemed mad... but why would he be mad?

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He scoffed and shook his head at me. It was like I said something dumb.

"I should be the one asking you that," he suddenly says. His tone was strange. He seemed mad but he also seemed annoyed.

I looked away from him. I was okay. At least I believe I'm okay.

The moonlight shined through the night with clouds slowly taking form. It'll rain soon...

"I'm okay," I tell him. "I'm more so annoyed than upset."

"Then that makes the two of us," I heard him say.

My attention drifted from the moonlight back to the man next to me. It was nice to know Minghao held an agreement over the matter. Even if he insist on hating women, he still had a heart.

He leaned on the railing with the rays of light hitting him. He seemed to glow in this dark night, and the memory of first meeting him came to mind. It was funny remembering it now.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" I asked him.

He looked at me with narrowed brows. He seemed a bit surprised by my question from the change of topic.

"Yeah?" He said. His eyes wondered away from me before looking back into my eyes as if he was hesitant on answering. "It was outside your house wasn't it?"

A bit of me died from his words. I guess nothing changed in high school.

I shook my head with low eyes. I didn't want to look at him. I forced a smile to hide my disappointment. The waves below me called for my attention and my eyes remained there.

"We met at the cafeteria," I tell him. "Dokyeom was introducing me to his friends and you were there. You didn't bother looking at me even though he said I was his sister."

I wanted to laugh for thinking he'd remember that. He hates women... why would he even remember meeting me?

Minghao didn't speak. The sound of waves crashing filled this gap between us. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him. Maybe I shouldn't have expected him to remember... the girls were always the ones to remember...

"It's alright," I say in hopes to lift the mood. "It's high school. Nobody remembers much of it anyways."

I turn to look at him, and I found him staring deeply into me. I froze.

His eyes stared at me with such a look that made it hard for me to ignore. His brows furrowed as if he had so much to say but he also didn't. What was going through his mind?

Should I ask?

No... I feel as though I already ruined the mood.

"The painting," I quickly say, I needed to change the topic. My eyes went away from him. I couldn't look at him. "My mother used to paint. She's one of the reasons I started painting."

It was weird how Minghao seemed to be so attentive towards me. Was it the alcohol that's making him like this? He doesn't reek of it though?

"Your mother painted?" He said with a change of tone. His voice was a bit soft, almost like he was talking to me with his heart.

I nodded my head. I leaned on my hand and stared up at the sky.

"She's gone, but I still think about her." I took a deep breath and sighed. "The memory of her was almost like a dream. Someone I didn't think would exist but appeared in my life before disappearing. She was loving and everything any child would dream for..."

I couldn't help but speak about her- how great my mother was. I didn't bother telling anyone about her since I knew it would make things awkward, and seeing how Minghao seemed so interested, it was difficult for me to not speak about her.

I watched the lighthouse beam with light while the boats docked onto the pier. They made it home... those people.

I smiled remembering how my mom would point at the boats. She always said being lost is scary, and finding a safe haven was one of the greatest feelings to have.

"She was my safe haven... you know?" I mutter. "My lighthouse."

I felt my eyes get watery. I missed her even after all these years of her being gone. She deserved to be remember. She deserved all the love I could give her.

"If that accident didn't happen..." my voice grew weak. I felt a tear escape and fall down my cheek. I quickly wiped it.

I didn't want Minghao to see me like this. He brought me here to get some air, not to make things low.

I felt a warm presence come towards me. His hand brushed my hair away from my face as if he wanted to see me. It was strange. Was he comforting me?

His eyes... why did he look at me like that? Why did he look at me as if I was someone worth his time?

"I'm sorry..." my voice cracked as I tried to hold in my sob that tried to escape my lips.

I never told Dokyeom about my mom like I did with Minghao... yet here I was a mess in front of him. In front of my brother's best friend.

Minghao shook his head towards me. "Don't..."

He was so empathetic towards me. I didn't know how to react, nor did I know what to say.

All I could do was stare at those eyes of his that seemed to reflect off of mine. Was he always this kind? I felt my gut begin to twist...

No. He's Minghao. He hates women... I shouldn't feel this towards him.

I pulled away from him, leaving his hand that once calmed my nerves. I couldn't look at him... not with the way my heart began to feel funny.

I knew this feeling. I knew this feeling too well.

What am I doing with him? Why did I go here? I was supposed to read a book... get some air... so why did it feel like we were having a moment?

As if we were something when we weren't?

"I'm sorry for dragging you here," I tell him. My eyes stared down at the waves below me.

He shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have decided to go out...

"We shouldn't be alone like this," I speak my thoughts aloud. "I don't want our friends talking about us... I don't want you to end up hating me."

There was silence just like before. The moonlight disappeared behind the grey clouds that began to cover the starry sky.

It's going to rain...

I felt his eyes on me, but I didn't look. I couldn't look. I felt distraught by everything that was running through my mind and everything that I felt going on.

Minghao. My brother's best friend. He's someone I once liked in high school, but upon meeting him, he wasn't like I expected. He was cold, but now.. it's like he had some sense of warmth.

I looked at him. His eyes were low before looking back at me. The way his bangs softly bounced and the scent of his cologne was hard to ignore now.

Before I could see him and not think anything... but now.

"Minghao," I call for his attention.

He stood upright with slight wonder. There's a reason I've been avoiding him. Not just because he's my brother's best friend or because he hated women.

It's because...

"I used to like you in high school," I admit.

There was a change in his eyes. It was like I said something so shocking it was hard for him to accept. Maybe it's because I'm Dokyeom's sister... that's all people remembered me as in high school.

Even now, I'm only known as Dokyeom's sister...

I turned away from Minghao before sighing.

"Let's stop being alone like this... I know my presence bothers you, but your presence bothers me too."

He had to know the truth. He had to know how I felt before Joshua... before graduation.

And before we ended up where we are now.

—

| M I N G H A O |

The ride to her house was stiffening. It was  like I was dying but I also wasn't. Everything she said... I couldn't even respond to her. I couldn't even say anything. My chest felt bitter yet it raced next to her.

Lihua had so much on her mind and so much bothering her that I didn't even know. She was so careful around me, yet I was blind towards her.

The sound of the windshield wipers and rain filled this void. We didn't speak to each other. And even if we did, what would we even say?

I should be mad hearing her confession, but I wasn't.

I was more mad that I didn't know sooner... because now, I know she'll never let me close to her again.

We were going to be strangers again.

Something I didn't want.

---------------

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Joshua has posted...

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