#why would he be able to make her any happier than jeff when he's done so badly in marriage twice.

[widowshill]

– Jeff and I love each other, we're going to be married, and that's all there is to it. – It will be the greatest mistake of your life.

[pasiveagressive]

Broken Bones VI//H.S.

Harry regretted kissing her. It's not that he regretted the kiss, God no, he just regretted kissing her when he wasn't able to see her for two days.

He had gone home and honest to God walked into a door he had been so out of. Jeff wasn't happy when he walked in on Friday with a bruised cheekbone. But makeup had fixed it right up and he was as good as new.

Well not exactly. He was so out of it during dinner. Luckily Mitch covered for him saying that he had been up all night working on a new song, which was a complete oie and then he had to come up with a new song idea on the spot. It wasn’t his best idea but he did jot it down for later. The only problem was that he had to go back to his house when he was done, knowing he wasn't going to see her for another 24 hours.

Texting had been at an all time high. She wasn't at work but he knew she was enjoying the time she had by herself. As much as he wanted to see her he didn't want to suffocate her. He had nothing but free time the last month and a half, a luxury she didn't have. He'd give her her space until she gave him the clear to come over.

And it didn't help that Gemma gave him strange looks every time he let out a laugh at his phone. He knew he looked like a lunatic, grinning the way he was, he just couldn't care less.

"Harry, if you smile any wider your face is going to break." Gemma finally broke the silence, a smirk visible in her voice.

Harry showed her his favorite finger, not looking up from his phone.

Gemma had to admit he certainly looked happier. Even when he wasn't smiling there wasn't the normal scowl etched on his face. He looked lighter than he had in years, really since he had auditioned for the X-Factor.

"Speaking of." Harry looked up for the first time in hours. "I'm heading over there so I'll see you tomorrow."

"I thought you weren't going over until tomorrow?" Gemma asked him.

"She offered on Thursday." He got up, walking to his room. "And we both sleep better when we're together." He shrugged.

He grabbed the bag sitting on his bed. It had been packed since he woke up, ready to go whenever she said she was ready.

"Alright, I'll be back tomorrow." He stood overlooking the room. "Yeah." Harry said distractedly, Y/N had texted him again. "Bye." He called over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

He heard Gemma call back, telling him to say hi to Y/N for her. Something that made him ridiculously happy.

She had told him to pick up dinner on his way. It was 6 o'clock and she was starving. And just like always he could eat.

So here he was, standing at her door with a pizza in one hand and flowers in his other. She opened the door in her pajamas, a pair of soft shorts and a t-shirt.

"Hey you." He smiled down at her.

"Hi." She took a step forward to kiss him. Needless to say he no longer regretted kissing her. "Hungry?"

"Always." He followed her in, setting the pizza on the counter and handing her the flowers.

"They're so pretty." She smiled widely as she took them, smelling them. "Thank you."

He kissed her head. "What's the plan for tonight?"

"Netflix and food." She smiled over at him as she put the flowers in a vase.

"Sounds perfect." He grabbed two cans of pop from the fridge and set them on the table. "We should start a show."

"What show?" She asked, grabbing plates from the pantry.

"I don't know." He shrugged, opening the pizza and putting some on his plate. She did the same before following her to the couch.

He sat in one corner of the couch while she sat in the other. That would have to change later. Their legs overlapped in the middle and he wondered why he ever thought fucking strangers was a good idea.

"It's got to be something neither of us have watched before." She took a bite of her pizza, moaning and making a face that would haunt his dreams. "The Following?"

He nodded. "Mitch loves that show, I've been meaning to watch it."

"Sounds like a plan." She dusted her hands off on her now empty plate and grabbed a remote.

By the time he was done with his four pieces it was up and ready to go. The lights were off and she was walking back to the couch with a large fluffy blanket.

"Come here." He opened his arms. "You're sitting too far away."

She smiled, flopping down between his legs so she was laying on his chest. "Agreed."

He spread the blanket over them, making sure it didn't cover her face, and then wrapped his arms around her.

"How are you so comfortable?" She asked into his chest.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm laying on your abs and I feel like I'm laying on a pillow. That's scientifically impossible."

Harry laughed. "I don't know, love. I've never laid on abs before."

They laid like that for hours. His hand rubbing rhythmic circles on her hip. Her fingers tapping on his chest. He never wanted to move.

Y/N's fingers stilled and he looked down to see her sleeping, eyes closed and breathing even. He studied her freckles. Her nose and cheeks were coated with them. The top of her forehead had really light ones and there were light scattered patches across her face. His favorite was the heart shaped one below her eye.

He gently touched it. She unconsciously snuggled her head in his hand and he couldn't help but grin. She was too cute.

It wasn't too long before he drifted off himself. Arms around her, hands back at her sides. Her legs were curled up and feet tucked in the couch. The blanket was keeping them warm and he was so content with the light of the t.v. and the lack of fan didn't even bother him.

And when he woke up he felt a warmness wash over him. His arms were still around her but they had turned so they were lying on their sides, facing each other, with Y/N in between him and the couch. She was still out cold, fingers and legs now intertwined with him.

He couldn't find himself to move. so he laid there, memorizing her face and the facial expressions she made while she slept.

It wasn't much longer until her nose was scrunching slightly and then her eyes were blinking despite being closed. He moved a hand to rub her cheek bone, ready to see her beautiful green eyes. They blinked slowly up at him and then her lips curved into a smile.

"Good morning." She leaned forward and kissed him. He kissed her back, long and sweet.

"Morning." He pulled back and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"You have morning breath." She told him and buried her head into his neck.

"So do you love." He buried his face in her curls.

She laughed, pushing him so he was back on his back, her laying on top of him.

"We've got like three hours before Mikey comes, what do you want to do?" He asked, rubbing circles on his back.

"Go grocery shopping?" She asked with a cheeky smile.

"Depends." He leaned in real close. "What do I get out of it?"

She grinned and before he could kiss her she climbed off of him.

"I'll show you." She gave him a hand to help him up. He took it and she led him to her bathroom.

"Isn't it a little to early in this relationship for shower sex?" He asked, only half teasing.

She swatted him on the chest. "I got you a toothbrush."

His heart skipped a beat. Somehow he preferred this over the shower sex.

"Thank you." He kissed her head, touched. "Now let's put them to good use so I can kiss you properly."

She laughed, grabbing her toothbrush. He copied her wondering how even something so tedious could entertain him.

"Ready to go?" He asked when she joined him at the front door. A pair of athletic shorts on and an old crewneck.

"Yeah." She pushed her feet into a pair of flip flops. "Are you?"

"Anything for you." He held open the door for her with a smile.

She went through it, sending him a smile of her own. He held her hand on the way to the car. And then while he drove. And as they walked into the store. And as they pushed around the cart. And as she refused to let him pay for her groceries, she was a doctor for goodness sake. And all the way back to the apartment, even though it doubled the amount of trips they had to take. And he finally let go when they were back on the couch and she was sitting with her feet in his lap.

There was a knock on the door and she grinned widely as she hurried to the door.

"Mikey!" He heard as he made his way to the door.

"Y/N! I missed you!"

He saw his girl being engulfed by a large dude with blonde hair so light it was almost white. He wondered if that's what they looked like.

"I missed you too." She leaned back and grabbed Harry's hand. "This is Harry, Harry this is Mike."

Michael grinned at him and shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too." And he meant it. He had half thought he was going to get shot when they met.

"What are we eating?" Michael asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

Y/N shrugged. "We just went shopping so whatever really."

"I don't care what we eat." Michael plopped down at the island. "I've just missed your cooking."

Harry laughed, hopping on the counter next to the sink. Y/N rolled her eyes and leaned on his leg. His hand unconsciously went to her back and started rubbing in circles.

"Quesadillas? Tacos? Pasta? Chicken Divine? Or Pepperoni Bread? Your pick." Y/N told him.

Mike groaned. "But I love quesadillas and pepperoni bread equally."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "It's up to you than Harry."

"What? No! You're the one with the leftovers, what would you rather have?"

"I don't care, what would you rather have?"

Harry sighed, thinking. "Quesadillas."

"Now was that so hard?" She teased and leaned off of him, going to the cupboard.

Mike laughed. "Jeez Y/N, don't have to be so harsh."

Harry didn't mind. He liked how quick her tongue was and how much she teased him, even though he shouldn't. It was a giant turn on.

Y/N shrugged. "He teases me too. It's a symbiotic relationship."

Mike rolled his eyes. "That's healthy."

Y/N scoffed, grabbing the chicken from the freezer. "You and Marie have been in a beneficial relationship for three years with a rule that you can't see anyone else and you still won't ask her out. Really healthy."

Harry bit his lip to stop from laughing.

"We're just friends." Michael rolled his eyes before adding, "Who like to see each other naked," when Y/N looked at him.

"Wow." She dumped the chicken in a skillet on the stove. "Really healthy."

"Oh, shut up." Michael was grinning now.

Y/N was smiling as she turned on the maker. "It's a good thing you chose quesadillas, pepperoni bread takes hours, I forgot about all the prep work."

Harry shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a genius."

Michael's phone rang and he excused himself. Harry took advantage of his absence by kissing her, still sitting on the counter.

"He's a lot cooler than I thought he’d be." Harry told her as she pulled her lips away from him, not moving from where she was leaning.

" He knows I can take care of myself. " she shrugged. "It's only dangerous if you hurt me."

Harry grinned. "Noted." He didn't plan on it.

She grinned up at him, kissing him once more before turning her attention back to the chicken. Harry watched her. It was unfair how he found everything she did so attractive.

"Sorry about that." Michael came back into the room, sliding into a seat at the island. "I might have to leave a little earlier than I expected."

He didn't look very happy which was probably why Y/N only pursed her lips at that.

"Want to set the table for me?" She asked him instead, putting the chicken and cheese on their shells and then putting them in the machine. She had it down to a science.

"Sure." He slid out of his chair and grabbed the plates from the cupboard. Harry helped him, grabbing three cups from another cupboard.

"What do you guys want?" He asked opening the fridge.

"Water's fine with me." Mike called from the dining room.

"Same." Y/N took the quesadilla off and put a new one on, cutting the first one.

Harry poured three cups and took them to the table where Michael was putting out napkins and chips.

"She must really like you." Michael said to him.

"I hope so."

"Anyone want sour cream or lettuce?" Y/N walked in with three plates in her hands.

Harry shook his head as Mike nodded. She put the plates down and then went back to the kitchen.

"I wouldn't be meeting you if she didn't."

"Have you met a lot?"

"You're the first." Mike grinned at him.

Harry's mouth opened a little in surprise.

"Are you guys ready to eat?" Y/N walked in carrying lettuce, sour cream, and a plate of lemons. She really liked water with lemon.

Harry really wished Mike wasn't there so he could take her in his arms and kiss her until neither of them remembered what day it was.

"Yeah." Mike smirked a little, knowing the bomb he just dropped.

Harry nodded, sliding into a chair and trying his best to rearrange his face. He knew that he had completely dropped his walls and his desire for her had just been written undeniably on his face.

"You alright?" Y/N asked him, looking worried.

"Yeah." Harry smiled at her. And she smiled back.

And that's how they spent the next three hours. Sitting at the table and talking. Harry learned that Mike was actually a huge softie who liked to spend his free time working on projects in his barn, watching Netflix, and having casual hookups with the same girl whenever he could.

And Michael really liked Harry. There was just something in the way he looked at his sister. Like she hung the moon. And as gross as it was, he wanted someone to treat her right. And Harry seemed to do just that. He washed the dishes, scooped her ice cream, held the door open for her, and made her laugh constantly.

"Bye Y/N." Mike reached down to hug his baby sister. "I'll try to see you as soon as I can."

"Bye big brother." She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on to him. "Me too. I'm only a phone call away."

She let go of him and Mike turned to Harry.

"It was nice meeting you." He shook his hand. "Take good care of my sister."

"I will." Harry grinned, wrapping his arm around Y/N as they watched the door close behind him.

"Come on." Y/N tugged his hand. "I want to watch some Once Upon a Time."

Harry laughed. "What happened to the Following?"

Y/N shrugged. "I changed my mind."

Harry couldn't find it in himself to protest. Even when he looked at the clock to see it was 5 hours later and he had no idea what was going on in the show. Because when he looked down a beautiful woman was laying in his arms, eyes locked on the t.v. She really deserved a break. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying the show. But it was mostly the content look in her eyes that made him sit there in silence, stealing a kiss here and there.

___________________________________________________________________

"Happy Birthday, baby!" Harry wrapped his arms around Y/N, kissing her head as she laughed.

"Thanks." She was still in her scrubs, having just finished an 8 hour shift at the hospital. She looked tired but happy as she leaned in for a kiss. He had been waiting at her apartment for her to get home, she had never gotten that key back. Flowers were in a vase on the table and a present was waiting to be wrapped in the living room.

"Go change." He told her, letting her go. "I can only imagine how hungry you are."

"Starving." She smiled over her shoulder as she walked to her room.

He walked to her living room where he had been wrapping her present when she got here. He had spent a long time trying to figure out what to get her. He had only known her for about two and half months now and they had only been together for a month but he felt like he had known her for his whole life.

They hadn't seen much of each other since they had dinner with Mike. He had been in New York for a week, recording. And she was always busy. Except for Tuesday's. And he made sure he was always free to spend the day with her. Even planned his trip around it. Never had meetings or studio sessions that day. It was his one guaranteed day with her. No if and or buts.

The first Tuesday they had gone shopping on Hollywood Boulevard, with Gemma. It had been fun although he was sure it didn't help Y/N feel anymore rested. But she had been happy so he had been too.

The second was after his week in New York and he had gone to her place and they had lounged around all day, napping and watching the following. She had already finished Once Upon a Time. And then he had taken her out to dinner because he had never taken her on a date before. She had told him she liked to dress up, a change of scenery from her scrubs. He decided he liked when she dressed up  too after that. She had even let him help her out of it.

The third Tuesday was spent with Mitch and Sarah at Harry's apartment. Much to their dismay Gemma had gone back home the past Friday. Drake had called her and demanded she return before he came up to get her. She had been with them for a month and they knew she wasn't ready to leave yet. She just wasn't ready to leave Drake yet. So she missed hanging out with them as they played games and sipped on their beers all day long. And Harry had found out what a hardcore Lakers fan Y/N was when they turned the game on.

And the day before her birthday had been a Tuesday. He had taken her to see Hamilton… on Broadway. She had loved it, as he predicted. And when they had gotten home she downloaded all the songs on Spotify and they had listened to them the whole plane ride back and talked, sitting together under a blanket and looking at the stars until she fell asleep. 

Her water had turned off already and he could hear her getting ready in her room. He knew he still had time. He was taking her somewhere nice and she had to get ready. Her music blasted through the house and he smiled to himself when Satisfied came on.

He finally wrapped the present a good twenty minutes later. He really sucked at wrapping. And he wanted it to look perfect. He had used a whole role and it wasn't even that big of a present.

"Harry!" He heard some ten minutes later. "Where are you?"

"In here." He yelled from the living room, putting his phone away.

"Harry." She scolded as she caught sight of the present. "I specifically told you not to get me anything."

"And I specifically didn't listen." He grinned. He couldn't see her yet. And then she was walking in front of the couch and climbing in with him.

Her hair was curled neatly and her eyes were surrounded by dark colors, making him lose himself in them. And she was wearing a long black dress with thin straps and a plunging neckline. A slit in the slide allowed her to wrap her leg around his black slack covered ones as she hugged him.

"You're too good to me."

"You're way too good for me" He kissed her head. "But I'm cool with it."

She laughed, her hand fisting his shirt.

"Now open your gift." He nudged her.

She groaned, her head falling on his shoulder, before pushing herself off of him and grabbing the box from the coffee table. He sat up with her so he could see her reaction.

She ripped the paper and slid the box out. She popped the lid open and pulled out the tissue paper. A teddy bear's head popped out and she looked at him with a smile.

"You're so cute." She leaned in and rubbed her nose with his. And he totally did not blush.

"Pull it out." He encouraged her.

She pulled it out, grabbing the picture frame as it almost fell. It was a picture from game night with Mitch and Sarah. Her on his lap with a big smile. He was squeezing her to him with the same smile. He had to admit. They were cute.

Y/N wasn't looking at the picture anymore. She had found the necklace around the bear. An elephant with a grain of rice in it. The elephant magnified the rice and you could see her name written on it.

She unclasped the necklace from the bear and handed it to him, turning around so he could put it on for her. He did, brushing her hair to the side and hooking it. He placed a kiss to the back of her neck before letting the hair fall back.

"Thank you." She turned around and kissed him, nice and slow. He took her face in his hand and used his other hand to press her closer. And that's how they stayed until she pulled away, holding his hand with hers.

"Come on." He kissed her one more time. "You're starving."

She smiled at him and he felt like he was going to explode. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." He kissed her again.

"If you keep kissing me." She kissed him. "We're never," again, "going to," another one, "get out of here."

"Then stop looking so irresistible." He countered, kissing her again for good measure.

She rolled her eyes, pushing off of him and the couch. He followed her, walking behind her as they headed to the door. She slipped on a pair of heels and grabbed his hand. He led her to the elevator that had finally been fixed. She was almost to his shoulders now and he missed how cute and little she was. But he couldn't find it in himself to mind too much. She still looked irresistible no matter what she wore.

He opened his door for her and helped her in. She grabbed his hand when he put the car in drive. He kissed her hand too.

"Nubo!" She exclaimed when she finally saw where he was pulling up to. It overlooked the water and he had to pull a lot of stings to get a reservation.

"Only the best for you." He helped her out of the car. She rolled her eyes with a smile. A smile that stayed on her face the whole time. And one that he reflected back at her. He couldn't remember a time where he ever felt happier.

Her eyes glazed over when they brought out a piece of cake. The crust was stacked with chocolate chips. Layers of different cakes made up the body. And luckily for him she decided to share with him too. He needed a distraction from the sweetness.

And when they were finally back in the car he couldn't help but look over at her and stare. She was leaning against the window, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. She was beautiful.

He almost crashed a few times, stealing glances at the beauty next to him. And when he finally pulled into her parking garage he thought he was going to have to carry her.

"Happy birthday." He told her again, not wanting to get out quite yet, watching as her eyes fluttered open a little. "I'm so glad I broke my hand." He leaned across the center console to kiss her temple.

"Me too." She grinned, taking said hand. "My life is better with you in it."

He was constantly being pleased beyond words. All he could do was smile so big it hurt and kiss her. So he did. Until one gave away to the other. This time it was the smile.

He brushed her nose with his and then kissed her forehead. "Come on." He leaned back and opened his door. "Let's get you to bed."

She grinned and opened her door. He helped her out of it, running around the car to get to her before she was done.

"Why thank you." She curtsied.

He bowed, taking her hand and walking her to her door.

"Are you not staying?" She asked, a frown on her face.

He kissed the crease in her forehead away. "Do you want me to?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course." She backpedaled. "I mean as long as you want to."

He rolled his eyes. "Stupid question."

She rolled her eyes again. "Right back at you."

He grinned, leaning in to kiss her. "Besides, who else is going to help you get out of that dress?"

She laughed, breaking the kiss and opening her door. "I'm sure I could find someone else."

He growled, teasingly. "Over my dead body."

She squealed as he picked her up, kicking his foot back and slamming the door shut and carrying her to her bedroom where he continued to show her just why it was him that got the privilege to help her out of her dress.

 __________________________________________________________________

Harry was not in a good mood. He was supposed to be home hours ago. At 4. It was almost 8. And normally he wouldn't have cared. But Y/N was off today and waiting at his apartment for him to get home to hang out with him. And he hadn't seen her in a couple of days and he really missed her.

Instead he was being barked at by photographer after photographer to pose this way and that. He was frustrated. And tired. And he just wanted Y/N.

And then he was done. And rushing to change and grab his stuff.

"Harry!" He heard one of the models he was working with yell.

He wanted to pretend he didn't hear them but he wasn't that rude.

"What." He called back. Not bothering to turn around. He supposed that was a little rude too.

"We're going out afterwards. Are you coming?"

"No, sorry." And then he was gone.

Twenty minutes later he pulled into his parking garage and then he was opening the door to his bedroom to see Y/N settled on his bed, the tv on.

"Hey babe." She greeted him with a smile.

" Hello. " He leaned over her to give her a kiss. "How was your day?"

" Good. " She stretched her arms up. "I just woke up from my nap."

He took advantage of her position and slid in next to her, wrapping an arm around her.

"I missed you." He muttered into her hair.

She hummed happily but didn't say anything.

"Are you hungry?" He finally asked her. He was starving.

"Yeah." She shrugged. " I could eat. "

"Want to go to that little cafe?" He asked her. He was craving some mozzarella sticks. And they made the best ones.

She nodded. "Just let me change first."

He lifted his arm so she could get up. He watched as she slid out of her t-shirt and shorts into a pair of jeans and a tank top. A tank top that exposed the top of her spine tattoo and reminded him that he still hadn't asked her about the one on her rib cage.

"Angel." He started as she sat back on the bed. "What's the tattoo on your rib mean?"

She pulled her shirt up and showed him it. "I lost a bet."

"What's it mean?"

"With a body like this, how can I not be confident?"

Harry let out a surprised laugh and touched it with his finger

"It's true though." He pulled her down on top of him. "You're the most beautiful person I have ever seen."

She turned red and buried her head in the crook of his neck. "Stop."

"But it's true." He curled a piece of hair around his finger. "And it's more than just skin deep." He paused. "I love you, Y/N."

She raised her head to look at him, the corner of her mouth upturned. "Why?"

He took her hand and intertwined their fingers. "You fixed me in more ways than I ever knew I needed fixing. You pulled me from a deep hole. A hole I wasn't even aware I was in. You made me want to do more than just survive. You made me want to thrive. I love you. I love you so much it physically hurts sometimes."

"I love you too." She leaned down to press a kiss to his lips.

"Why?"

"Because you make me feel like the patient and not the doctor. I forgot how good it felt to be taken care of by someone. You're the best person I ever met. I love you more than I ever thought I would and it's only been four months."

He felt a wetness on his cheek. And was surprised to find that it was from his eyes.

"I. Love. You. So. Fucking. Much." He finished every word with a searing kiss.

She laughed and kissed him once more. "Now come on, I'm starving."

He grinned up at her, pulling her down for one more kiss. "Mozzarella sticks here I come."

She laughed, climbing off of him and giving him her hand. "I'm in the mood for some now too."

He let go of her hand to shrug his jacket back on at the same time she pulled hers on before grabbing it again.

He grinned at her. "I love you."

She smiled up at him. "Love you too."

It felt so good to say. Like he had a better way to express his feelings for once. And he just wanted to shout it from the empire state building.

He opened his car door for her before getting in his side. She had the radio on before he had the car in reverse. And then she was jamming to the music that came blaring through the speakers.

He laughed at her, trying to keep his eyes on the road and albeit failing. She made everything look so goddamn irresistible.

When a commercial finally broke her jam session he turned it down and grabbed her hand.

"Do you ever get off for holidays?"

"Sometimes." She shrugged. " I've worked on and around Christmas the past three years so I'm due for some time off. Same for Thanksgiving. Why? "

"I'm just trying to think ahead." It was almost October. Which meant Thanksgiving was coming soon. Which meant Christmas was right around the corner. "We normally rent this cabin in the woods that we spend Christmas at.  I was wondering if you wanted to come? As long as you don't have your own Christmas traditions of course." He rambled.

"Mike doesn't get a lot of vacation time, believe it or not." She grinned over at him. " And mom and stepdad have kids of their own, I try to let them be their own family. "

Harry looked at her sharply. "You are their family."

She rolled her eyes. "No, Mike's my family. My dad's dead and my mom's moved on, all we do is remind her of what her life used to be like. Terrible."

Harry pulled into the parking spot and turned to look her in the eye. He was trying to gauge how she was truly feeling. Her walls were up.

"Like you said, Mike doesn't get a lot of vacation time, how's that fair that your mom gets to have a family now and you don't."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "I'm not a little kid anymore. And even then it was always Mike I went crying for help too. I see mom for lunch dates and the occasional holiday. She has her own family now." She bit her lip. "Besides, I have you now. And you make me feel more at home than they have in a long time."

Harry closed his eyes for a second. She had a way of making his stomach drop and his heart soar all at the same time.

"I like that you feel that way about me but what happens when I do something stupid and you need to talk to someone about it and you can't come to me. And you don't want to go to Mike because you like having a breathing boyfriend."

She looked at him like he was stupid. "If we're having an argument you're the only one  that I am talking to about it. It's between you and me and that's the way it's going to stay. I'm all for ranting about annoying things but if we're in a legitimate argument we're handling it. That's how relationships end, when other people get involved."

He blinked. She had a point. "Okay, but she's still your mom."

"But she's other people's mom now, too. I'm old enough to take care of myself, they're not. I've got a great job and a bunch of money from my dad that they don't have. I have Mike and Jasper. I'm not 8 anymore."

He shook his head , letting it go. "Alright, I don't feel like fighting with you on this, let's eat."

She nodded, her eyes beginning to open up again.

They were barely one step in when he heard his name. He gripped her hand and turned to see a group of models he worked with that day waving him over to where they were sitting.

"I'll get us a table." Y/N let go of his hand.

Before he could protest she was talking to the hostess and nudging him in their direction.

"Harry!" One of the guys whose name he did not know started talking. " Is she why you bailed? "

"I didn't bail." Harry rolled his eyes. "That would require me having the intention to go with you guys. "

"Sheesh man." The guy had a funny look on his face. "Why so touchy? Trouble in paradise?"

Harry's eyes flicked over to where Y/N was sitting, laughing with the waitress. His lips turned up.

"Nope." He looked back at the dude. "Perfect as always."

He turned before they could say anything else and called "later" over his shoulder as he made his way back to Y/N.

He slid across from her and smiled up at the waitress who was waiting for him to give her his drink. The waitress did it all with a smile and he couldn't help but look at Y/N. She had a way of putting everyone in a great mood.

"I'll be right back with your drinks and to take your order." She walked away and Harry turned to Y/N.

He groaned. "It's bad enough that I spent the day with them today, I was hoping I never had to see them again."

She laughed, looking over at them. He looked with her to see them all staring over at him. And her. He resisted the urge to punch them in the face and turned back to Y/N. Her attention was already back on him.

"I must say, you're definitely the most handsome one."

He grinned. "And you're much better looking than me so what does that say of you."

"Then we're both dating someone out of our league."

He laughed, grabbing her hand. "I'm definitely okay with it."

She smiled back. "Me too."

"I love you."

[attina-the-responsible]

How to Tell Your Family You’re Moving Across the World According to Mermaids ~*~ [Merfam]

In which Attina and Panic make a big announcement...[takes place at the beginning of the summer.]

@arista-the-musical​, @aquata-the-champ​, @alana-the-brilliant​, @melody-the-unwritten​, @panicked-nights​

[tw -- none]

ATTINA: Attina had cooked a nice salmon and tofu (for the veggies) dinner for everyone. It was almost easier to wrangle everyone now, because there were so few of them. Andrina and Adella were such big presences that dinners felt so small without them. But, she’d already called them both and told them that she was moving. It had been nice to slide into it that way, but they were also the oldest. She had no idea how the rest of her sisters were going to react.

It was nice to have Panic there for moral support. And her dad, of course. Who was aware that tonight was going to be the night.

Attina was not nervous that they were going to be angry with her. She was actually nervous of the opposite. That people would want her to leave. That they would tell her that why did it matter, why was she making a big deal of this?

She waited until the dinner was winding down. One of the sisters actually got up to put her plate up because Attina was procrastinating.

“Wait—“ she barked, when the sister stood. “Uh, please, sit. I, er—we—“ she glanced at Panic. “Have something to tell you.”

Attina took another breath. “PanicandIaremovingtoAustralia.”

AQUATA: Aquata almost choked on her salmon. “Australia?” she repeated.

This was the thing: Aquata was learning to let go of the idea that all of her sisters would stay in the same place forever. Especially after talking to her at the wedding, Aquata now understood that this wasn’t just a phase for Andy and she probably wasn’t coming back. And even though Adella had gotten the brunt of Aquata’s crisis about the family splitting up, Aquata had eventually made her peace with it.

She maybe expected Tina to leave, eventually, especially since she didn’t have her wedding in Swynlake. But Australia?

She coughed and cleared her throat, her expression going neutral. “That’s a long bloody plane ride.”

ARISTA: Arista chewed on her tofu, happy to just sit among her family. Dinner nights were always so lovely. It was how they all caught up on things. (Well, at least the ones who were still in town).

Her brows shot up, Aquata had a point. It was a long plane ride. “Australia? Like forever?” Australia seemed pretty permanently away from Swynlake. But she trusted her sister to not make decisions unless she had already thought it over like a million times. “You think you’ll be near where Jake’s from? Maybe he can give you some pointers or teach you slang.” She tilted her head, trying to think back to all the weird things she’d heard her sister’s boyfriend say over the years.

ALANA: "Australia?!"

To be honest, Alana had a moment of fear. It struck her suddenly and she looked at the dinner table, at the empty seats where Andrina and Adella once sat. She felt something twist in her gut, but then she looked at Tina and that twisting feeling transformed into a swell of pride.

"Ohmigosh that's so great!" she exclaimed. "Wow, more excuses for me to visit."

MELODY: Well, that was far. Was the first thought as Melody digested the news. She wasn't all that surprised though. Each of the girls were moving on in their own way she wondered who would be next truly.

But this wasn't supposed to be sad. Not at all. "When are you planning on moving?"

PANIC: Panic watched everyone's reactions grimacing ahead of time almost expecting for it to go terribly. Though it wasn't that bad not yet. "It's a long plane ride for sure but we're planning on getting a big enough place you guys can all visit whenever." Panic offered leaving Tina to answer Arista because really who knew especially with school. 

"Toward the end of summer, we need to be there by Late August so we want to settle in a bit."

ATTINA: Attina hadn't announced something like this since...well, since her pregnancy. And she'd done that one on one, because as much as she insisted on these dinners and everyone sharing their lives with each other, she always found it a little overwhelming to be the focus of the attention.

It was nice to have Panic there to help her, because she was trying to untangle her tongue while all her sisters and cousin stared at her. She knew it must be shocking and probably felt like it was coming out of left field and she felt herself about to word vomit everywhere a bunch of excuses.

Panic corralled everyone first and Attina shot him a grateful look before nodding.

"Yes, late summer. I will, uhm, I'm--I accepted an PhD studies offer at the National Australia University in Canberra for Marine Biology. It's not near Jake's, unfortunately." She had already looked that up, because of course she knew where her sister's boyfriend was from. "But, I'm sure he can give us plenty of pointers."

AQUATA: Aquata was stunned.

Andy had always been a loose cannon. Adella had always wanted to get out of Swynlake from the beginning. But Tina? Tina, who basically ran Whosits and Whatsits, who went to every community event, who had a house here and friends and, okay, probably a lot of bad memories too, but who seemed more a part of Swynlake than anyone else?

It was like one of those moments when you were a kid and realized the teacher didn’t sleep at school. Attina had her own life. But.... Australia was really far.

Aquata didn’t really know what to say. She didn’t want to make a scene, or be the unsupportive one (again). But for someone who liked plans and routines, who liked being able to keep track of everyone, it was a lot to process.

“Congrats, Tina, that’s cool,” Aquata said flatly. She needed to go for a swim. She looked at Panic and smirked. Humor was a little easier than being sincere. “Better be a mansion. I’m not getting on a twenty-hour flight for any old cottage. Or maybe I’ll just swim there. Probably faster.”

Aquata made a face to show she was joking, because she didn’t want to freak Attina out, but honestly, it did sound like a fun idea.

ALANA: Alana was still processing this. First Andrina had left, which seemed like a given and honestly, Lana had been surprised it hadn't happened sooner. She missed Andrina so much, her absence like a loose tooth she kept on prodding with her tongue. Adella had left second, which hadn't been a surprise either; she'd already left once the first time and she'd never wanted to stay in Swynlake. She had big dreams and a little town in England didn't exactly lend itself to them.

And now Attina --

Maybe this had been coming from the beginning. Maybe Attina dreamed of things too, dreamed of the ocean and helping save it. Maybe it was obligation that had kept her trapped in Swynlake, that obligation growing into fear and spreading across the rest of them. Maybe that's why Andrina had broken away, why Adella had always dreamed of bigger things. Maybe it all went back to Attina and the fact that she had stayed in the first place, instead of leaving.

Alana always wondered why she was working in a shoppe when she had a Master's degree.

Alana didn't know what she'd do without her big sister. It was one thing for Andrina and Adella to go off -- but Attina?

She wasn't sure where to look. Looking at Attina might make her cry. Looking at Aquata might make her scared. So she looked at Arista, who was soft and smiling and with a deep breath, Lana tried to relax herself.

(She wondered, briefly, if she would ever leave Swynlake; she'd thought about it a lot as a teenager but now... well with her own place and her own life separate from the legacy of her family, it didn't really bother her as much. She wondered, out of all of them, who would go and who would remain).

"Oh my gosh, do you have a new place picked out already?" asked Alana. "Is it by the beach? Please tell me it's by the beach."

ARISTA: Arista, of course, was sad to see any of her sisters go. But she knew they all had to do some exploring of their own some time. She had left for a time to find perspective and where her music came from. Andy had left to grow and spread herself far and wide so she could experience everything the world had to offer. Adella had dreams that were outside of Swynlake. And so while she had been sad for those instances, she was happy for them because she knew they were becoming who they wanted to be most in the world.

And though the sadness over Tina hit her heart particularly hard as Tina had been the most patient and the most kind to her growing up (they of course were not without their fights as seen over the last couple years) but Arista knew that Tina had put a lot on hold and been through so much in town that it only made sense that she too at some point would want to find something different out there. And that didn’t mean they were losing her. They were just gaining distance while she became an even brighter version of herself.

She looked between her sisters, they all has their respective reactions but one thing was clear, they loved their sister and wanted to see her happy in their own ways.

She smiled softly, her voice matched her smile as she looked at her eldest sister, “I think you really deserve this, Teens.”

MELODY: Melody sighed softly but nodded, this was good. The degree was amazing. And it would be good for Attina and Panic, she was sure of it. Or at least she hoped. Just like she hoped all the others girls were happier doing whatever it was they were doing right now.

It felt lonely in a way, seeing everyone move on but making her life more steady here. Would she be like them too one day? Would the rest of the Triton's be like that?

"Congrats Tina. That's going to be such a cool program. " None the less Melody would take each day by day and today was Tina and Panic's day.

PANIC: Panic nodded giving the girls all a smile, a brief glance over to JEFF too. "We'll be near the water and no little cottage don't worry. Though maybe not a mansion big." Panic grinned with a raised eyebrow in Aquata's direction.

"Enough room and good scenery, it'll be worth the flight." Reaching over Panic gave Tina's hand a small squeeze. This was going a lot better than expected and part of him wondered if it was because some of the others girls had left. Strangely enough this was more common than you would first think.

ATTINA: No one was yelling. Everyone was smiling--some more reserved than others. The air was a little stilted, awkward, and nervous, but...no one was yelling. That let Attina know, more than anything else, that this was the right decision. She had let out the breath she was holding and managed a tentative smile herself.

There were little tears shining in the corner of her eyes, but she nodded, squeezing Panic's hand back when he reached for her.

"Yes, of course. You are all welcome to visit, at any time. And we'll all FaceTime and text. It will be like I'm not really gone at all."

"We'll miss you too, Tiny, but don't worry. You're going to do brilliantly," Daddy said, reaching over to squeeze Attina's shoulder. She smiled over at him. "Your mum would be proud."

"Daddy," Attina said, those tears trembling--much more closer to falling. "You must promise to keep me informed of everything. I'll miss you all so much."

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Side Effects ch.4 (baon)

Summary:  Jeff wasn't in California for the attack, but it doesn't mean he's unaffected.

Tags:  Spicyhoney, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Mentions of Collars

CH1 | CH2 | CH3

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

~~*~~

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

...Lawyer, Spy

Jeff(Andy), Antwan, Red, Sans

~~*~~

Jeff could hear the shower running and that more even than any jangling alarm was a sign it was time to get up. Antwan was a stickler in the mornings, he had a routine to go through and he did it like missing out on a proper moisturizing would ruin the day.

Not that Jeff was judging or anything; he couldn’t exactly argue that he didn’t appreciate the efforts. His own daily regiment tended not to have quite so many steps but even so, Jeff’s mental twin, Andy, was wishing that they could skip it all and stay in bed for the day, have a fierce game of ‘Word With Friends’ with Stretch be his most challenging task ahead.

He wasn’t complaining about the workload, hell, no, especially not with so much on the line. Ever since the whole California disaster came down, the entire Embassy had been working feverishly. Public Relations in particular took a hard hit with Humans yet again questioning the safety of having Monster’s living among them.

Jeff didn’t have a problem working hard. He’d spent a long time going to school full time and working alongside it, there’d been plenty of long days in his past. No other job had ever made him want to try so hard as this one. No days of dropping French fries in hot grease or shelving books could compare to knowing he was helping the people walking the streets of New New Home. Monsters who knew his name, who took the time to stop and chat with him or helped him out the time he got a flat tire. All of them depending on the Embassy to ensure they were able to live in this world.

He couldn’t pretend it all wasn’t a little daunting. Before taking Edge’s job offer, his biggest concern was finding an antique book in time for some birthday or a special anniversary. But now he had the neighborhood kids to think about, the ones Stretch was always teaching experiments or playing games with. The stress was getting laid on thick and the past few nights his sleep had been interrupted by nightmares.

Jeff sighed and rolled over, one hand absently settling over his abdomen where the scars were still pink and fresh. The dreams didn’t even have the kindness to be accurate and instead gave him exaggerated memories of pain and blood, of nightmarish men with grinning faces and knives for fingers with the sign for ‘Golden City’ hanging overhead like a bloated moon.

He’d woken in the darkness of the bedroom, tasting sweat and tears. As tired as Antwan was, he seemed to have a spider-sense for those bad dream nights. He’d wake up and turn on the light, the dim yellow glow illuminating the room and showing Jeff that he wasn’t on a dirty sidewalk with cigarette butts getting squashed into his clothes. Nothing around them but furniture and shelves, surrounded by orderly life. Next step was to pull Jeff into his arms and soothing his fears away, murmuring over and over that he loved him, that he was safe, that everything was okay, until he was able to sleep again.

It gave him a hell of a case of the guilts to keep Antwan up, but he still did it, settling into his arms, hoarding every single ‘I love you’ into his mental scrapbook. But the whole nightmare thing was stupid, and frustrating. Really, he hadn’t had this many problems when the whole stabbing actually happened. Why it was bothering him now, Jeff didn’t know, but if it had to be crawling out of the dark corners of his psyche to bother him, at least he could be grateful that Antwan was with him.

The shower was still running. Jeff reached over to grab one of Antwan’s pillows, burying his face against satin. It smelled like him, his cologne and shampoo that came in expensive-looking unmarked bottles. But not sex, not even a whiff of it, because they hadn’t done anything of the sort since the last time the sheets were washed. Mind and body were too tired, they both fell into bed, slept (or woke up to stupid nightmares), woke up, headed in to work. Wash, rinse, repeat.

But.

Jeff didn’t think he’d ever shared a bed with someone who was content just to sleep. Sex was usually a given, expected and doled out. Without it, the best he would have gotten in any of his past relationships was a weak offer to pay for an Uber.

It was…nice. To be able to lay in Antwan’s bed and not worry that the first thing out of his mouth would be ‘are you still here?’, but could be ‘I love you’ or ‘morning, baby,’ or even a quick question about going out to dinner before they came home.

Huh. Home.

Jeff wondered what Antwan would think if he knew Jeff was calling it that in his head. He didn’t think he’d mind. He hoped he wouldn’t.

That made him think guilty of Blue’s house. He only ever stopped in lately to change his clothes, stubbornly refusing to bring more than an overnight bag to Antwan’s. It felt cruel, they’d only been roommate for a couple of months and already Jeff was yearning to leave. With everything that happened, that painfully close call, all Jeff wanted was to pull Antwan closer and he kinda thought Antwan felt the same way. Plus, there was so much he had to handle right now, the Legal department was flooded with work and he wasn’t sure if Antwan even made it to see Edge yet.

Of anyone, Edge would understand but it probably didn’t make Antwan any happier about it.

The bathroom door opening interrupted his wallowing, Antwan wandered in from the shower with the towel his hips dangerously low. Made for a hell of a nice view, especially when instead of beelining to the closet, he detoured to the bed, sitting on the edge and leaning in for a kiss. “Morning, baby.”

“My breath is awful,” Jeff protested weakly.

“Don’t care.” But Antwan let Jeff keep it to a closed-mouth peck. When they drew apart, Antwan’s grin widened slyly. “I could give you a kiss someplace that won’t mind morning breath.”

“If you had time for that, you wouldn’t have taken a shower already,” Jeff said dryly, firmly instructing all places below the belt not to give in to the tease.

Antwan leaned away with a groan. “You’re right, we have depositions this morning and I need to get in. Take a rain check, sweetheart.”

“I’ll add it to the collection.”

It was meant a as a tease, but Antwan swooped down on him again and his mouth was as fierce as his words, uncaring of morning breath. “You better. Once things get settled down, I expect you to call them in. When do you have to go in?”

“Not until this afternoon,” Jeff admitted. His lower half was starting to…ahem…raise a protest about all the teasing. A dirty pun, Stretch would be so proud. “Catty told me to sleep in a little.” What she’d actually said was it looked like he was trying to smuggle luggage under his eyes, so he better get a little more sleep before coming back in before he ended up with a full set of fake Louis Vuitton.

One thing he was quickly learning was that the whole taking care of thing? It wasn’t just the skeleton Monsters who did it, plenty of others gave it their best shot. Perfect example, Janice, Edge’s assistant, brought muffins or treats down to the break room at least once a week. It hadn’t escaped Jeff’s notice that since Edge was out of commission, the style of those baked goods changed. Like maybe they were coming from a different kitchen, one attached to the Bun bakery, from a kind-hearted Bun lady who would feed up the Embassy for her boss until he returned.

And then there was Catty, brash and boisterous behind the scenes, but amazingly good at knowing the right thing to say in a press release or a speech. There was no hiding his exhaustion from her keen eyes and so he’d meekly agreed to come in later and sleep away his looming eye bags. If he was going to get any Louis Vuitton, he wanted it to be the real deal.

Still sitting on the bed, Antwan hummed thoughtfully. “This afternoon? Then can I get you to do a quick favor for me before you go in?”

That was unexpected. Curious. “Sure.”

Antwan went into the closet and when he came back out, he was regretfully wearing trousers but also carrying a small box, not much bigger than an Altoids tin. “Swing by Red’s place and drop this off. He’s out sick right now so he won’t be at the Embassy. It might have more impact coming from you, anyway. You know how to get there?”

He didn’t, but the address Antwan gave him wasn’t far. “What is it?”

Yeah, okay, that smile was kinda grim and evil. “He’ll know.”

Jeff took the box, warily. “I’d like to say now that I am opposed to getting in the middle of some kind of prank war between you and Red.”

“No pranks,” Antwan reassured him. “Fuck, no, I wouldn’t do that to you without hiring a bodyguard first. Ask him what they are.”

Yeaaaaah, that probably wasn’t gonna happen. Antwan disappeared back into the closet and Jeff rolled back over, planning on getting a little more of that sweet, sweet morning off sleep. Dealing with what was in the box could wait.

~~*~~

The address Antwan gave Jeff was for the neighborhood that everyone called Old New Home. He drove down the road curiously, tires crunching on the barely plowed pavement. From what he knew, not many Monsters still lived here. Stretch told him these houses were ones put up hastily when they’d first arrived, not much more than a roof over their heads and nothing like the nice, spacious homes everyone was living in now. Some Monsters hadn’t wanted to move, though, and Asgore didn’t force a new place on anyone. But it did mean that the streets were emptier than any others Jeff had seen. The houses weren’t falling down or anything, but most of them did give off an aura of disuse.

The house with the number plate that Antwan gave him was only a step up. Nothing was shoveled but there were footsteps through the snow, leading up to the sidewalk and porch. The driveway was empty; come to think of it, he wasn’t sure Red owned a car, and the curtains were drawn tight over a picture window.

There was no one on the street, the neighboring houses sat with empty, staring windows and untouched snow on their walkways.

Yeah, wow, no Texas Chainsaw Massacre vibes here.

Jeff parked his car on the street and got out, box in hand. There was no way Antwan sent him on a morning death trip, Jeff told himself sternly, following the tamped down path to the door. For one, if Antwan wanted to get rid of him, there had to be easier ways than death by the semi-creepy skeleton gremlin he’d smoked weed with once.

He made it to the door and knocked lightly, hesitantly. Antwan said something about Red being sick and much as he wanted to shove the box at him and hightail it out, he didn’t really want to wake him if he was sleeping it off.

What he did not expect was an entirely different short skeleton to answer the door. Jeff readjusted his perceptions from red to blue as Sans looked up at him.

“heya, andy,” he yawned. He stepped back and held open the door “c’mon in.”

If Red had answered the door, Jeff probably would have shoved the box at him and left. He was Edge’s brother and he worked for the Embassy, so he had to be a good guy, but something about Red was so damned intense. Their private chat a little while ago in his office had been…illuminating and Jeff wouldn’t mind chatting with Red again, but only on his own turf.

Sans, though, he was something else. Jeff liked Sans; they’d done some work together a while back in Stretch’s old lab. Well, okay, Sans did the science and Jeff cleaned up, but still. He seemed a little like Stretch, all puns and hoodies, but Jeff wasn’t really convinced.

He had a bead on everyone else; Edge was a stoic knight in need of some shining armor, and Stretch was the cuttingly brilliant court jester/magician. Red was wearing his secret agent gear and Blue was the caretaker, ready to hop in at any given moment with plenty of tea and opinions. Papyrus was the kid brother Jeff never had and always wanted and that left Sans as…what?

And enigma that was what, hiding secrets behind that permanent smile, and Jeff followed him into the house, asking, “Helping out Red while he’s sick?”

“somethin’ like that,” Sans said agreeably. He was wearing fuzzy pink slippers, socks sagging down his ankles. “want some coffee?”

“Um.” Jeff looked around. The house was…well. Jeff had lived in the college dorms and recently with four other guys crammed into an apartment, and none of those places had been quite this level of trashed. The sofa was sagging at an odd angle, standing despite what was probably a few broken struts. There was a fine litter of trash everywhere, the few clean places like islands with filled garbage bags in the middle. A tabby cat was on the coffee table, tail swishing as it stared at Jeff with deep, all-seeing eyes that made him want to shiver. Hell, if that was what cats were like in New New Home, no wonder Stretch didn’t like them.

Sans’s grin widened, clearly unoffended by Jeff’s lack of enthusiasm. “don’t worry, the kitchen is clean. c’mon, handy andy, caffeine is the best social lubricant they ever came up with.”

He was right about one thing, the kitchen was a lot cleaner and on the counter was a Keurig, the newest looking thing in the whole house. Sans brewed a cup for Jeff and handed it over, leaning against the counter while he started up a second.

Sans waited long enough for Jeff to doctor his coffee with sugar and cream, then asked, “so what can i do for you?”

“Um, Antwan asked me to bring Red this box.” Jeff pulled it out of his pocket and set it on the table, plain and innocuous. Sans hummed curiously and grabbed his cup of coffee, wandering over to the table.

He poked the box with an idle finger, “antwan did, huh. normally, that wouldn’t worry me too much, but he and red were squabbling not too long ago.”

“Squabbling?” That was news to him, he’d always thought Antwan and Red were at least okay friends. They had a regular outing on Wednesdays at the bar, talking about who the hell knew what, maybe only watching a game? Jeff wasn’t much into sports and a couple times, Jeff went to bed without Antwan on a Wednesday and got woken up by whiskey-sweet kisses that turned into some great sex. Hanging out with Red relaxed Antwan, usually, and Jeff had a vested interest in hoping those two weren’t on the outs. “About what?”

“oh, you know,” Sans said absently. He reached up, those bony fingers settling at his throat and for the first time Jeff noticed that over the collar of Sans’s shirt he was wearing what looked like a choker of some sort.

He’d never seen Sans wearing anything but his normal hoodie and shorts, with the only exception being Stretch and Edge’s wedding. Something that pretty on him almost seemed out of place, delicately tooled leather with an intricate buckle.

“Wow, that’s really nice! Detailed work, is it new?” Jeff reached out without thinking and Sans slid back a step so smoothly it hardly looked like he moved at all. That woke his stupid ass up; for crying out loud, Sans was wearing a collar with a heart buckle and he didn’t twig to it? A hot blush flooded his face as Jeff stammered out, “Oh, fuck, sorry! Of course, it’s personal, that was so stupid of me!”

“nah, it’s okay, andy, you didn’t know,” Sans’s easy grin didn’t fade one iota, perfectly cheerful. “it is new, still getting used to it.” Jeff nodded so hard his neck joints popped and Sans picked up the box, shaking it lightly. “any idea what it is?”

“Antwan told me to ask Red,” Jeff admitted.

“huh. why don’t we find out?”

Curiosity overwhelmed Jeff, drowning any guilt and leftover embarrassment. Hey, he wasn’t the one opening it, right?”

Sans slit open the tape holding the box closed with one bony finger, lifting the lid. His eye lights flared, a mini supernova of white, then dimmed back down, showing nothing but amusement. “heh, okay, hint taken.”

Jeff only frowned, peering at the contents. They looked like thumbtacks, cuff-links? He wasn’t sure, weird rounded bits of metal with pokey-looking ends. “What are they?”

“all the surveillance devices red hid in your place.”

Sans said it with such ease that it took a second for Jeff to actually hear the words. “Wait, what?”

Sans offered a lazy shrug. “it’s just audio and he keeps ‘em to the common areas, no bedrooms or johns. look at it this way, red has unique ways of showing he cares. he doesn’t even listen to ‘em, really, it’s more like…just in case.”

That seemed like a whale-sized understatement. But Antwan clearly wasn’t too upset about it if all he was doing was returning them to the sender.

Probably he should be pissed off about this. At Red, Antwan, even Sans, it was obvious he knew about them and no one bothered to give him a heads up. It was a huge damned invasion of privacy and if Jeff found them in an AirBnB he probably would have the police on the phone.

But instead he found himself weirdly touched, almost giggling at the mental image of Red creeping through the patio door to plant listening devices in their kitchen, sneakers creaking with every step like an old-timey cartoon.

He wondered a little giddily what the first signs of Stockholm syndrome were.

Bemused, Jeff shook the box. There were a lot of them. “So, how many are at Edge and Stretch’s place?”

“heh, i’m not even sure he knows anymore.”

“i know exactly how many, and where they all are, thanks.” That voice came from the doorway and Jeff jerked, almost spilling his coffee as he turned to see Red standing there, hands tucked into his pockets, grinning at them both with sharky teeth.

He was wearing a ratty sweatshirt and shorts, his trademark jacket missing and his bony feet bare. It made him look smaller and maybe most people would seem more vulnerable like that, stripped down to their basics. Jeff didn’t think much could make that word apply to Red. Instead, it made him think of the way a mongoose could fight a cobra.

Red wandered in and Jeff was pretty sure the surprise on Sans’s face was mirrored on his own when Red gave Sans a kiss, stealing his coffee cup in the process. He kept an arm slung around Sans, who looked positively frozen, sockets wide, his eye lights extinguished, wow, that was the face of someone who needed a processor reboot, stat.

“like the new gear, huh.” Red smirked, licking his teeth as he ran what could only be called a possessive thumb over that smooth black leather. “he finally has my name all over him.” And before Jeff could come up with anything to say to that, Red looked him over, assessing. “you’d look good in one, too. maybe i should mention it to antwan.”

Okay, holy shit, back this way the hell up. “I…uh…I’d really rather you didn’t.”

Red licked his teeth again, those crimson eye lights glittering with fiendish humor. “don’t play those games, huh?”

Well he wouldn’t say that--”Um…I think Antwan might be grouchy with you.” He reached out and pushed the little box in Red’s direction and it was not in desperate self-preservation, thank you, he was only making sure he could tell Antwan honestly that he’d given it to Red.

“no sense of humor,” Red murmured. He peered into the box, poking into it with one sharp finger. “huh, looks like he found all of ‘em. good on him.”

Yeahhhh, like he didn’t believe Red was just saying that while there were three other ones were still tucked into the ceiling fan or something. “You’re going to sneak more cameras into his…our house. Aren’t you.”

Red and Sans both had an awful shrug addiction and Jeff was slowly starting to figure out to how to read the subtitles attached to them. Red’s most recent shrug held an undercurrent of defensiveness, proved by the way he said, “i keep a close eye on shit. especially my family, kid, you get me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” From the way that made a flutter of warmth rise in Jeff’s chest, he’d say that his Stockholm syndrome was coming along nicely.

Red nodded. “good. remember it and you’ll do fine.” He tapped a finger against Jeff's coffee mug, the pointed tip tinging against the ceramic. "you done espresso-ing yourself now?.

Sans looked like he was starting to slowly recover from his shock, eye lights back, but still a little dazed. Not that Jeff could blame him, Red was still stroking that collar, his fingers grazing the bone above the leather and Jeff was pretty sure he was in danger of overstaying his welcome. Whatever Red said he had when he called in sick, Jeff thought it might be the better side of staying alive to not spread it around it was actually for a booty call. A booty call that was getting dangerously close to being on speakerphone.

He hastily downed the last of his nearly cold coffee and stood, blurting out, “Um, yes! Thank you.”

“thanks for what, andy?” Red purred out, right next to the little ear hole on Sans’s skull. Sans’s eye lights dilated down to pinpricks and yeah, this was starting to feel like a bad invitation to early foreplay. His own body was perking up, fuck, he wasn’t attracted to Red or Sans, but it’d been days, he was young, and he was used to some pretty regular orgasm time. Thinking about any kind of sex was putting him at risk; the absolutely last thing he wanted was to pop an accidental boner in front of the all-seeing spy here.

“For everything,” Jeff blurted. “For, um, taking the box. I’ll see you later at…somewhere!”

He was halfway to the door when Red called out, teasingly. “see you around, handy andy. next time the coffee is on you, brewtiful.”

So damned knowing. Jeff ignored it and his flaming cheeks, hurrying out the door, nearly slamming it behind him as he ran out to his car. There were still a few hours before he had to be to work. Plenty some time for a little personal handling.

Hm, might even be a chance to try something a little risqué. Jeff never was keen on nude pictures or videos; he’d seen way too many people get screwed over with those. But those recording devices gave him an idea; audio only.

With a little effort, maybe he could come up with something for Antwan to listen to on his ride home, to help stave off the exhaustion. Probably not the outcome Antwan was expecting, but hey, Jeff had a few rain checks to call in.

Might be time to get started.

tbc

[storytime-reviews]

Partner Track Season 1 Review

Ingrid Yun, an idealistic lawyer, struggles with her moral compass as she fights to climb the partner track at a New York City law firm.

There were elements of Partner Track that I really enjoyed, whilst other parts I found quite boring. I spent most of my time watching this series whilst doing other things, exercise and paperwork for example, however there were some quite fun and tense moments that had me sitting back and ignoring what else I was doing as the drama unfolded.

I found it difficult to be really invested in any of the main characters, although I did find Rachel to be the most interesting. Ingrid Yun (Arden Cho) was the most frustrating by far, from her naivety to the poor decisions she makes, thereby isolating herself from her friends, Rachel Friedman (Alexandra Turshen) and Tyler Robinson (Bradley Gibson). Much of the drama that occurs is due to Ingrid making similarly bad decisions from episode to episode, and you can’t help but wonder why it takes her so long to recognise her mistakes, especially when everyone else is pointing them out to her. Whilst I was always rooting for her to be on top in her work life, when it came to the personal and social aspects of her life it was genuinely hard to care every time she blew it up. In the end Ingrid realises what is important to her, and works towards fixing her mistakes. But Ingrid only selfishly realises what she’s done when others do it to her.

Rachel and Tyler also have similar arcs in which they begin to discover what they want in life. Rachel coasts by at work, and only by accident comes to have an interest in writing. It’s really only the first time we see her come to actually care about something, apart from maybe her budding relationship with a paralegal. I actually enjoyed Rachel’s journey from the cold, easily bored and apathetic woman she was in episode one, to actively caring about something and being willing to give up part of her comfortable life for it. Much of Tyler’s own journey stems from the racism he experiences at the firm, leading to him quitting his job. But it’s also influenced by the decisions he’s forced to make at work, and realising that’s not who he wants to be. Hopefully with his new job he’ll be able to do work he can be proud of.

It’s almost like by the end of the season the rose-tinted glasses these characters are wearing finally come off, and they begin to realise that there is more to life than the next big payday, or making partner. That focusing on their relationships and honesty and integrity is even more important, and something to prioritise. I enjoyed the scenes with the three of them together, and now that they are friends again I am looking forward to how this works out next season, and how their individual journeys continue to develop them as people.

The romance is far from the most engaging aspect of Partner Track. In fact, Ingrid’s new billionaire boyfriend Nick is bland and boring, and honestly moves way too fast. Meanwhile, her other option, Jeff, is more interesting for the will they won’t they aspect of the show, but the mystery is really the only thing that works for him. Ingrid has more chemistry and things in common with one of her clients, Zi, who is probably the nicest person on the show, and hopefully we’ll see more of him next season.

Personally, I found the legal aspects of the show to be the most entertaining. I enjoyed the tense, drama filled moments when the team was working a case, or when Ingrid was trying to one up her male colleagues. I loved the last minute hail marys and the surprise reveals. The best by far would have to be Ingrid’s plan to make up for some of the damage her decisions at work created in the final episode, and how it all came together. That final episode utilised tension and suspense perfectly, and I couldn’t be happier with the end result. So I am very interested in how next season will be impacted by it.

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Forty-Eight

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW **dirty dirty**

Find Too Hot To Handle Master Chapter List Here

Jeffrey sat with a few costars from the show, as the interviewer posed a few questions for the group. Leaning towards Norman, he whispered. "We got to see the lil’ shit yesterday." "Oh yeah?" He rasped back, a smirk curling his lip.  "Fucking insane." Jeffrey muttered. "I fucking bet. When do you know what it is?" "Not for a while. Probably a couple appointments." "That's awesome." Norman grinned, as the questions were directed towards them. 

"Jeffrey, you have the show and many other film projects. Plus all the conventions you hit, how do you balance everything?" The interviewer asked after speaking to the others about their latest projects. "Well, it's definitely hard. I travel a lot between filming locations and home. I probably spend more time on planes and in hotels than in my own bed." "That's got to be hard for the wife. You're still newlyweds right?" Laughing a bit at that, Norman chimed in, "They sure fucking act like it." Elbowing him in the side, Jeffrey rolled his eyes and drawled, "It's definitely difficult with her work schedule and mine but we make it work. Especially now with all the doctor appointments...."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Jeffrey knew he'd fucked up royally. He could literally see the gears turning in the interviewers mind as they figured out what he'd just revealed. 

Norman belted out a laugh as Jeffrey's head dropped into his hands. "Are we getting an exclusive reveal?" The interviewer asked, leaning forward on the edge of her seat. "Damnit." Jeffrey muttered directly to the camera."I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm such a jackass." "So you're gonna be a dad? Is that what you mean? Is Negan a daddy?"

His fellow cast members all laughed and congratulated him on the news but he could only think of Aria’s reaction. They weren't going to tell anyone until she was further into the pregnancy. She had a fear that if they announced it, something terrible would happen. They also feared what kind of paparazzi presence would happen with them expecting, Jeffrey didn't want Aria hounded for pictures. All that planning was thrown out the window by Jeffrey loose lips.  

"Shit." He growled before nodding and giving them a nervous smile. "Yeah, yeah we are." "Congratulations. That's amazing. How excited are you?" "I'm more than stoked to have a kid. Especially with my amazing and extremely beautiful, forgiving wife." Jeffrey added, trying to butter up the woman who would probably be removing his tongue when she saw him next. They all laughed at his words and contrite expression.

 "Sounds like you're feeling guilty. 

"He's sucking up. Ari’s going to kick his ass." Norman joked. "More than." Jeffrey muttered before speaking towards the camera again. "Baby, I'm sorry seriously... I'm a jackass. You know I'm terrible at shutting my mouth. Don't kill me." "Don't worry, I'll tell her we forced it out of you." "He's sleeping in the doghouse until the kid graduates college." Norman joked. "Fucker." He muttered under his breath.

Aria sat in her office with her laptop open and paperwork strewn across the desk. She'd been working ongetting everything in order and streamlined for her upcoming maternity leave. It was many months away but she wanted everything to run smoothly without her at the helm. Javier would take over running the original restaurant, while her latest hire at the second location would cover for her. Aria wasn't planning on taking more than a month, at least for the moment, but she needed to know her businesses weren't going to fall apart while away. 

When her phone began ringing, her caller-id flashed a picture of Jeffrey grinning like a lunatic. Smiling at the image, Aria answered, "Hello, handsome." "I'm just going to start this conversation with an apology." Jeffrey replied, his voice hoarse and slightly strained. "Oooookay," Aria drawled, her brow furrowed but lips twitching. "I'm listening." "I fucked up and I'm sorry." She couldn't help but feel a ripple of worry at his serious tone and words, the possibilities of what he could've done to warrant such a thing baffling her. "What happened?" "You know how I was at the Con today?" "Yeah..." "Well... I kinda..." he huffed, clearing his throat anxiously. "Jeff, you're freaking me the fuck out. What'd you do?" "I had a interviewer asking about us and asking how I find time to film everything and do cons and still see you... and I mean I didn't mean to say it. It just slipped out and then I couldn't shove the words back in my huge fucking mouth."

"What'd you say?" She asked, her phone beeping in the background as another call came in. Glancing at the id she saw Meagan was calling and then a few text messages flooded her phone from their publicity manager. 

"Shit." She muttered, "what'd you say Jeff?" "I said we make it work, that I travel a lot but put the effort in and then I may have slipped up and mentioned how I'll be traveling back home a lot more to make it to all your.. appointments...." "Jesus Christ." She muttered, her head thumping to the desk. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said it.. I just... fucking hell. I'm sorry, sweets. I know it's earlier than we wanted to announce it."

A knock on the office door had Aria peeling her face from the wood to see her restaurant manager peering at her oddly. "Hold on a sec." she muttered into the phone. "What's up?" "Um.. I just thought you should know that there are quite a few paparazzi out front.. if your leaving any time soon, I'd sneak out the back." "Son of bitch." She growled, while rubbing her face. "Thanks, Kelly." "No worries." "Aria." She heard from her phone. "What's going on?" "Well I was just being told there are camera men all over the front of my restaurant." "Shit." "Yeah.. Jeff." She whined, "why?" "It was an accident, doll. It just... fuck. I'm happy about it okay and you know how I fucking am. I was talking to Norm about it and then they asked and then I just... I fucked up. Don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, dummy." She scoffed, rubbing her temple as a headache began to take over. "I might sew your mouth shut though." "Come on, darlin'." He rasped, his tone soft. "How will I make it up to you, if my mouth’s out of commission."

"Oh, and how are you making it up to me?" "Well I figured I'd be on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness." "Mmm." She hummed, at the words and the promise contained in them. "Might be a good start."

"I really am sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to." "I know." She spoke with a sigh. "Good thing I know you're just a big mouth when you're happy." "I am happy." He replied, the grit in his voice causing chills to run up Aria’s spine. "Very fucking happy, sweetpea. Never been happier."

"Me neither, baby." She murmured, her eyes closing shut at the rumbled sound he released at her words. The idea that she could effect him such a way, cinching her chest and twisting her stomach. 

"I'm missin' you." He grumbled, "almost more than I can bare." "Soon you'll be home and I'll accept your deepest, most sincere apology." His rich laugh had her smiling widely, her chest loosen of its anxiety. "I can't wait, darlin'."

She tasted like honey, her mouth pliable and welcoming. Jeffrey drank her in like a dope fiend, his fingers curling into her hair and curves desperately. It'd been days since he'd been able to touch and taste his wife, the time away turning him savage. 

"Jeff." She gasped as his hands dropped to her thighs to hike her up his body as though she weighed nothing. Carrying her towards their bedroom, Jeffrey sucked a hot path along her neck while kneading her ass with large hands. "Yeah, doll." He muttered into her wet skin. "You like that?" "Yes." "You want me?" "Fuck, yes." She moaned as he climbed onto the bed while she was still wrapped around his body. "Mmmh." He grumbled deeply, his teeth nipping her collarbone and curve of her t-shirt covered tits. "You missed me?"

"Yes, so much." Aria gasped, her fingers curled into his hair as his mouth travelled downwards. Pushing her t-shirt up and over her head, Jeffrey tugged her bra down to lap a greedy circle around her nipple. His hooded gaze did not stray from her dark eyes, his mouth latched onto her breast as his hands worked her pants off. Nothing was close enough or deep enough, his mouth and hands feverishly trying to consume every single morsel. 

After stripping her bare, his mouth and tongue travelled down her stomach. He couldn't pass up the accentuated curves now taking shape above his favorite playground. Kissing around her belly button, he dipped his tongue in while watching her flushed face become desperate. Her pretty little mouth dropped open and her fingers curled into the sheets as his thumbs traced the wet seam between her legs. Nuzzling his face into her stomach he couldn't get enough of feeling the changes her body was making to care for his kid. 

Peering up at her as he slid down the bed and spread her legs wide open. "I'm going to apologize now." "Oh yeah?" She gasped, her hips undulating off the bed. Aria was squirming under his grip, her body desperate for more. "Oh fucking yeah." He growled before dragging his broad tongue along her wet core. A moan that sounded as though it originated in her toes, ripped from her lungs as she fluttered under his tongue and hands. "Mmmhm." Jeffrey purred, his mouth rutting deeper into her willing pussy. "So needy." "Yes. Please." "So fucking polite." He growled, nipping her inner thighs playfully. "You need more baby girl." "Fuck yes." Aria groaned when his fingers sunk inside. Humming while licking and sucking her lips, Jeffrey allowed his free hand to slid up her stomach to her swelling breast. He watched her carefully as he massaged and twisted her nipple, the man knowing she'd been sensitive as of late. "That okay?" He rasped, while tugging on her nipples. "Yes." She moaned, her body rolling with every thrust of his fingers and flick of his tongue. "Jeff."  "Yeah, sweetheart." He growled, burrowing into her folds to lick and suck her deeper. "Gimme what I want." "Fuck... I'm.." "You're close. Come on, beautiful."  Jeffrey rasped while panting over her soaked lips. "Cum on my mouth baby." Covering her hood with his hot mouth, Jeffrey sucked a fast rhythm as he rubbed his curled fingers on that spot she loved. The reaction was instant, as her body seemed to cave in on itself, while exploding like a live wire.

 Aria’s legs tried to clamp around his head but he pinned them down to keep her spread out and open. She whined at the action, her hips twisting under his grip, while he licked and sucked greedily on her lips and clit. 

"Jeff... please." "Please what?" The words sounding rough and breathless. He dipped his head and flicked her hooded sharply. "Please that?" "No." "Mmhm." Jeffrey rumbled into her hot core, his dark eyes looking over the appealing flush spreading up her chest and staining her cheeks. She was so achingly beautiful, Jeffrey could barely stand it. The tug in his chest from just looking at her was almost overwhelming. "Tell me." He murmured, his breath hot and heavy against her swollen lips. "Say it, darlin'." "Please fuck me." "Goddamn." He growled, before placing a hot wet kiss over her clit and climbing up the bed towards her. "You're so fucking gorgeous." "So are you, handsome." She purred, her fingers sliding over his ribs and chest, curling into his chest hair. 

"I missed you." He rasped, bumping his nose against hers affectionately. Kissing her softly, while lining himself up with her welcoming heat, Jeffrey kept his eyes affixed to hers. He rolled his hips forward with one instant thrust, parting her lips and sliding inside. Aria’s eyes widened, her mouth falling open as he sunk into her with no retreat. "Oh god." "Yeah, that's what you need, huh sweet girl?" "Yes." She panted, her eyes fluttering as he pulled back, only to plunge that much further. "Je-sus.." Jeffrey growled into the side of her neck, his teeth bared and desperate to bite something. She felt like home and it was as though the tightness he'd been carrying since he left, was gone. 

Aria brought her knees up his ribs and curled her limbs around him. Jeffrey began rocking into her, his hips slamming into her spread core.   "Yeah." He growled, nipping her jaw as she fluttered around his aching dick. "Cum. I wanna feel it." "Fuck." Aria gasped, her fingers digging into his shoulder blades, as he snapped his hips sharply. "Do it for me, sweets." He drawled, his mouth sucking and licking her jaw and neck. "Cum for daddy."

Every muscle in her soft body became stiff, her arms and legs clutching him desperately. A whine crawled from her arched throat as he continued the thrust straight through her orgasm. He growled and moaned as she spasmed around his dick, the clenching grip becoming too much to bare. "Damn, doll." He groaned, his hips rocking hard and deep. "Gonna cum. Fuck. Look at me." Her deep eyes starred up at him, the beautiful girl with swollen lips and flushed cheeks. "You're so gorgeous." Jeffrey moaned, before cumming in throbbing pulses. He pressed his open mouth to her pulse point and sucked, while rolling his hips lazily. "So good." Aria gasped, her lips and tongue tasting his shoulders and neck. Groaning as she clenched around his still hard dick, he clutched her to his body and murmured, "missed you so much, darlin'." "Me too, handsome." Pressing his forehead against hers, Jeffrey asked, "Do you accept my apology?" Snorting at his question, Aria replied, "it was a good start."

*** I borrowed from JDM real life experience when he spilled the beans about the sex of his new baby. *****

Find Chapter Forty-Nine here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/170200535401/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-forty-nine

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

@magikat409 @cadeviolet @aforrester77422 @bethcarli @thamberlina @star017 @bec-brained-blarg @blackmother77 @adriannawiggins @jdm-negan-mcnaughty @negans-network @negansmutweek @cltex84 @audreychaz @wolfhart18 @ruggedasfuck @warriorqueen1991 @yellatthetopofyourlungs @hotfornegan @ladyynegan @uhh-dope @brandi-sykestw @negandarylsatisfaction @londoncapsule @morganstopbeinghotkthx  @sicksadtired @wolfgirl1074 @sophisti-kate-ed @jdmsgal @sasquaatch68 @spideygeek @arkhamasylumpatient-blog1 @cupcake5365 @ @soft-spokenangel @beegnc @mandilion76 @prettyepiic @beautifuldizasterfics @kitcat44 @mayuketchupytostones @ibelongtonegan @azanoni @alyisdead @mwesterfeld1985 @helena-mrs-murder @lovexxxkittyxxxblog @nu1freakshow @jenn0755 @skylouise12         @mysacredstardust   @thatprettymvthafvcka @beltz2016 @soythedemonqueen  @disturbthepearls @writteninthestars288   @queenslandlover-93   @ledger-kaos @jackythemoossconcept @jdmsgal @lovesjdm @adixon13 @doyouhaveavacancy

[sprinklig-kindness-podcast]

What’s up guys, hello how are you? Welcome to your favorite podcast

how do you can see, today we gonna talk about the 36 questions to make anyone fall in love with you.

And you’re wondering how do you find this question? where do you find this question?

Okay you know have a crush put you in situations like this and after she has a girlfriend I really wanted to talk to her but I didn't have you know a topic of conversation

so I decided to google it and I find an article form the New York Times and yeah they give us 36 questions to make anyone fall in love with you according to psychology.

So today we gonna answer these questions, in the hope that one day our crush will ask us these questions or we will ask them.

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Okay one of my famous crushes is Zendeya, I love her she’s so pretty and smart but actually I'd really like to meet my idols Ellon Musk and Jeff Bezos because they are a genius, I would like them to give me advice and I would love to invite them to the podcast is one of my dreams.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Of course, I want to be famous but the difference it’s I want to be famous like Greta Thunberg, Elon Musk, or Jeff Bezos because they are famous because they are changing the world.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

No, never I like to improvise but it if is a work call yeah for sure because I don’t want to screw it up

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

Okay Me, My crush, making some of my dreams activities yeah basically that, For me a perfect day is the day I'm fulfilling one of my goals.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

Last weak and to someone else I think really never because I don’t have a pretty voice

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Of curse, the mind because if you have 90 but you look like a person of 30 its weird, and the body is not important the mind is 

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

No really 

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

I don't have a partner next

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

for having arms, legs you know all that, for having health, you know it's the only thing that really matters.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I wish I'd been raised a millionaire, but I'm not

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

I don’t gonna answer this next question

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Omg this is interesting 

I wish I had the ability of absolute knowledge, if you can know everything you can help the world, you can change it, if you want to fly you can create it because you know-how, the same if you want to be invisible, read minds and more, knowledge is everything and I want that

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?

Am I ever gonna have a date with my crush? no, actually that not but it’s funny, 

okay, the real one is, If I keep trying as hard as I am now, will I ever fulfill all my dreams?

because this is the purpose of everything I'm doing and if I'm doing it wrong I want to know and I want to know what to do to fulfill my dreams.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Of course, I do, and I haven't because I don't have the money and the intelligence but I'm working on it.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Next question

Don't know now, I think my English, pathetic No?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

Loyalty for me is everything.

17. What is your most treasured memory?

Next question

No, I think I really don’t have one 

18. What is your most terrible memory?

my whole life is a horrible traumatic memory

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

No, because I don't know how to make my life even better to enjoy my last days.

20. What does friendship mean to you?

For me, friendship is a person or group of people that you can talk to and they will never judge you because it is selfish to say that they will do everything for you. But they'll help you in any way they can.

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I don't have any but I want them and I want everyone to have them too

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

Okay Next Question

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

I'm not very close but I respect them, and no I know but if it's true I’m sorry for you 

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

I respect my mother. 

25. Make three true “we” statements each. 

Next question

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

I have nothing, I don't know if you heard my previous episodes but I have nothing to share I guess my time, I'm working to have something

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

omg I have a section on this podcast talking about that 

but quickly

I will love you the best way there is, you will always come first no matter what, I would die for you, if you were with me I promise to make you laugh every day, I would never hurt you, I would never give up and I promise to give you my 100% of me, I just want you to be happy even if it is with me or not.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

I don't really talk to her so I can't really answer this question honestly because I don't know her, I'd like to, I hope someday do it

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

next question

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

next question

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

okay I don't have it in front of me but I really love your smile, when you smile it's like the angels welcome me to heaven

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

about someone else's problems or some real problem in general, I just can't joke about other people's misfortunes, the same with insecurities

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

I would have liked to tell my crush that she's amazing and deserves happiness, and I haven't because it's not the time, dude. u know the reasons why

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

my personal papers, because they are important and it ist easy  to restore them, besides now I have nothing of value really

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

I don’t know 

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

okay I don’t like this 

I want to put an extra 

37. What am I to you?

Yeah I put this one in because it's important to know if I'm not good for her, maybe not, and if I really love her and she tells me she's not happy, I'm gonna go.

because I don't want to be selfish

but this is all for today's episode, all the questions are on my twitter and on my tumblr so hope you have a beautiful day see you in the next episode  

LinkTree

https://linktr.ee/Sprinkling_Kindness

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sprinkling-kindness/id1518358101

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https://open.spotify.com/show/6sRbt534HdK7ApK26fOneJ

And more for FREE

We have one Official page from our podcast where you can find all the information that you need to know about our podcast

https://sites.google.com/view/sprinklingkindness/principal-page

[adaminashepardcommander]

Lover’s Dance When They’re Feeling in Love - F!Shenko

Pairing: F!Shenko Rating: T+ Summary: A look at Kaidan Alenko and Adamina Shepard’s love through the span of time. Author’s Note: This is mostly canon with a couple of Not-So Mass Effect canon elements that are from my boyfriend (adrianomartelandsiblings) and my canon. Bioware owns Kaidan Alenko and all Mass Effect elements. Adamina’s thoughts, choices, and children belong to me!

Dancing is so awkward at fifteen. It’s even more awkward dancing with your best friend who you just so happen to be in love with. She’s stepped on his foot a couple of times, blushing hard, whispering sorry. He smiles and nudges her feet on top of his. He whispers ‘I’ve got you,’ and pulls her closer. It’s less awkward. She laughs and lays her head on his shoulder. It’s their first dance, and he’d love for it to never end, but it will end. Their friendship, however, will strengthen thanks to this. Dancing is so intimate at a wedding. Especially, when it’s your own wedding. Even more so when you’ve married your best friend. She’s gotten better at this. She hasn’t stepped on his foot except for once, and he just laughed it off. He smiles and presses his forehead against hers. Her lavender eyes shine so bright with love and excitement. He’s excited too, but he’s always hoped that they would end up here. She presses her lips against his. People are clapping, but all of his attention is on his new wife. Dancing is hard to do with a little one. It’s even harder when you have two little ones. He’s gotten a little time off and finally gets to be with his best friend again. She laughs when he puts his hands on her hips, humming a tune in her ear. She complains about needing to cook, but she’s accepting his hand and letting him pull her against him. Her lavender eyes sparkle with glee, and that’s when their son and daughter whine that they want to dance too. It’s no longer him dancing with her; it’s him dancing with their daughter and her dancing with their son. There’s laughter, and all he can do is smile. Dancing is impossible to do with her gone. His best friend has been gone a year, and he hasn’t gone anywhere near music. He’s signed it off. His friends don’t care and pull him to the crowded bar on the Citadel. There’s a woman there giving him bedroom eyes, but this is their song that’s playing. His mind flies to a happier time, and he gets up to leave. One of his friends tries to stop him, but he’s out of the bar before an argument can be made. Lavender eyes and a laugh ghosting in his ear. Dancing is the last thing on his mind on Horizon. The Collectors are taking people left and right, but not him. He can’t understand why. The stasis wears off, and he’s running towards the enemy ship, trying to save his people. One of the colonists is yelling at a woman, and slowly he recognizes her. Those lavender eyes are full of regret and fear. One of her companions yells at the colonist, claiming that the colonist would be dead too if it weren’t for her. Her other companion nudges her, and lavender eyes find chocolate. The colonist walks off, and he’s walking towards her. He hears her take a deep breath before he’s wrapping her in his arms. She whispers his name against his neck, and all he wants is to kiss her senseless. But he doesn’t, he needs to know why she isn’t dead. Arguing, begging, pleading, are things he never thought he’d have to do with her. She can’t be his best friend. She has to be a clone. That’s not her, but she looks just like her. Just like his best friend, his wife. He rubs his forehead remembering those eyes. They were so full of hope for a solid moment before he dashed those hopes right down the drain. Now he’s sitting before his terminal trying to write a letter to her. To explain his actions, but there aren’t any words that are coming to mind that will suffice. He glances at the picture beside his hand. They’re smiling, laughing, dancing. The words finally come to him, and he’s able to finish the email to her. He presses the send button and goes back to reminiscing about happier days. The reapers have come, an AI has tried to kill him, and now Cerberus is trying to over-run the Citadel. He wants to kill any and every Cerberus soldier that comes near the council. He’s got three of the four councilors on the roof, and there’s someone following them. The doors of the elevator slide open and reveal her. Lavender eyes ablaze with anger. He’s ordering her to put her weapon down while she’s trying to tell him that there’s a mole on the council’s payroll. They’re dancing with danger, with death; one wrong move and he’ll kill her, and that scares him. He hears Udina call her a traitor, and the anger in her voice causes him to do a double-take. He’s never heard her that hateful, not even when they were chasing after Saren. Udina, the bastard, grabs the Asari councilor and threatens to kill the councilor. She’s not having any of that. He hears her cock her gun, ready to blow Udina’s head off. She pleads with him to trust her. She’s never been okay with a death on her head. When Ashley died, she locked herself in her room until they reached the Citadel. He remembers her crying, cursing herself. He flips around and points the gun at Udina’s head, but he doesn’t give the bastard the chance she’s given him. He pulls the trigger, and it hits Udina right between the eyes. He hears her sigh in relief behind him. It’s weird being back on the Normandy. And even though she has said that he’s more than welcome there, he doesn’t feel it. She’s skirting around him, away from him. She’s keeping her distance, and he knows why. It’s all this. This stress that she’s putting herself through, and he just wants her to relax. She’s helped out all of her old teammates, even Miranda on Horizon. He never thought he’d go back to that planet and now he wishes he hadn’t. He knows that Anderson has ordered her to take some shore leave, but she’s not complying. So he takes to the helm and tells Joker to take them to the Citadel. Thankfully, the pilot agrees. Jeff’s seen how she’s acting, seen how stressed she is. She comes down from her room asking who changed her course, and he intercepts her. He tells her, orders her, to take the shore leave she’s already been ordered on. She wants to argue, he can see it, but she doesn’t. She just turns around and heads back to her room. She’ll probably try to spend all of her shore leave in that damn room, but he won’t let her. The start of this shore leave has been very much a miss. She’d gone out with Joker as ordered by Anderson, and she’d gotten shot at. Of course, she’d gotten shot at. He’s come to her rescue. His biotics flaring a bright blue as he slams down a couple of the mercenaries he’d been fighting when she rounds the corner. She is wearing a light blue dress, and he feels his throat contract. She’s gorgeous even as broken as she looks. She smirks at him, shaking those hips as she walks by. His jaw drops and hell yeah, he’s staring. He likes what he sees, always has. When they finally get back to the apartment thanks to Wrex’s help, he follows her upstairs to see to her wounds. She turns to look at him, lavender eyes shining. He takes a step towards her, places his hands on her hips, and leans in slowly. She accepts the kiss that he presses to her lips, a small moan leaving her throat. It’s going to take Liara a little while to track down the gun that she found, so he’s going to take advantage of this small window of just them. Dancing is just a way of keeping eyes off them, but the way she presses against him, the little laugh she gives as his hands slide to her hips, the way that dress fits her body so perfect he’s sure everyone is watching already. He’s died and gone to heaven. That is until Brooks interrupts them with a problem. She promises that there will be more to come later, and he wholeheartedly believes her. Once they’re back to the apartment, he pulls her upstairs and presses her against the wall of her room. She nuzzles against his neck, pressing open mouth kisses to the base of his throat. They want each other even more with each passing moment, but there’s still a bad guy that wants to kill her, so their time together will be cut short. It feels like forever since the party ended. She wanted to celebrate capturing her clone. Miranda has some ideas for the clone, but he doesn’t want to know them. He’s more focused on the woman beneath him. She looks so relaxed, so happy. He leans down and nips at her neck, right at her pulse point. The way she cries his name makes him do it again just to pull his name from her lips one more time. She claws at his back, wraps her legs tighter around his waist, pulls him closer to her. He’s forgotten how amazing she is like this. It’s been too long since they’ve been intimate, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long with how he still knows where to touch her, to kiss her, to bite her. She knows the same about his body, and when they’re done he kisses her, slow and sweet. She whispers that she loves him, and he replies in kind. He wants to slit the Illusive Man’s throat for the way he talked about her. She doesn’t deserve that; she never deserved any bad thing that has ever happened to her. He wraps his arms around her waist. It’s not the place or the time, but he wants her to know that he’s deeply sorry. He should have believed her. She nods and smiles small, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She was used, and that makes him sick. She pulls away from his arms and starts down a hallway. He swears that he will fix this, no matter what. It’s been months since they’ve set foot on earth, but this doesn’t feel right. He’s standing by a building, checking in with his biotic students when she walks up. She tells him that she’s spoken to their kids, like this wasn’t hard enough. He sighs and says that this might be goodbye. She takes his hand and says she’s going to fight to see him again. He squeezes her hand in apology. She has to find Anderson. They both know that, but she doesn’t want to leave him. He doesn’t want her to leave. She takes a step away from him, but he’s not ready. He pulls her against him, kissing her with a promise. He whispers, “I can’t lose you again.” She touches his cheek, closing her eyes tight as she pulls away from him. She’ll see him again, there’s no way in hell she’s going out there without him. His ears ring for a moment as he feels hands on his waist. He can hear his name, just barely. His vision finally straightens out just as the Normandy lands. She’s going to make him go back. She pulls him to the ship with Vega’s help. He feels his weight transferred to the buffer soldier. The realization hits him like a bottle to the head, she’s not coming with them. “Shepard. Adamina.” He calls out to her. She’s standing at the end of the hangar door, watching the fire fight in the distance. She turns and looks at him, “You’ve gotta get out of here.” He shakes his head, “That’s not going to happen. Not without you.” “Don’t argue with me, Kaidan.” Her voice is a command, but he can hear the tiny waiver. “Don’t leave me behind.” He begs. He can’t do this. Can’t lose her. He begs her with his eyes, come back, come with me. She strides up the hangar door, “No matter what happens…” She reaches him, touches his face, “remember that I love you, always.” His eyes search hers, chocolate meeting lavender, “I…” He starts, and then tries again, “I love you, too.” She kisses him, gently and whispers again how she loves him. How she’s always loved him, will always love him. She takes a step backwards, out of his reach. He’s grabbing for her, reaching for her hand, begging her to stay let someone else deal with this mess. He wants her to be selfish for once, but she won’t, and he knows that. She’s off the hangar door and running, next to her clone, the one that Miranda had ideas for. This must have been that idea. Have them fight together. As the Normandy pulls away, he sees Harbinger getting ready for an attack. He gasps, and the hangar door closes shut. He’s sitting in a hospital room beside a bed. It’s silent except for the machines’ beeping and hissing. He places his hand on hers, squeezes gently, “Come back to me.” Something happens, a twitch in her hand. She’s squeezing back. His dark depths find her lavender ones, “Mina…” She squeezes his hand again, and he calls for the nurse. She’s here. She’s alive. Dancing is a little awkward when you’re learning how to walk properly again, but he’s got his best friend who he’s always been in love with in his arms. She blushes softly after stepping on his foot once or twice. He presses a kiss to her cheek, nudging his feet under hers. She laughs and the memory of two young kids dancing in the soft light of their shared room at Brain Camp flits through his mind. It’s fitting how its always been her, will always be her. Adamina wraps her arms around Kaidan’s shoulders and pulls his forehead to touch hers. They share a kiss and a long life together.

[alittleoptimistic]

Renaissance of the Mind: Chapter 3

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Summary: Senator Thomas Jackson has spent the better part of his career swaying the public opinion to the belief that old souls are villainous. Everyone knows only people who screwed up royally in their previous life come back for another chance. They are criminals and should be imprisoned the moment they are discovered. But after a chance meeting with a strangely familiar young man, Thomas’s worst fears are animated. A lifetime of his own forgotten memories in his unwieldy hands, Thomas is faced with a decision.

His headache wasn’t going away.

In the last hour, he’d consumed four ibuprofen pills, half a bottle of aspirin, and copious amounts of alcohol.

This was turning out to be a poor decision.

A headache had started just after his speech and had yet to let up. His entire head throbbed and pulsed with every heartbeat. He was alone at home and taking one of the very few sick days he could, and he was distantly aware that he should probably call a doctor at this point. Two days of a migraine wasn’t normal. Right? Maybe?

He couldn’t hold onto a thought long enough to really consider it anyhow.

But he did know now that medicine overdose along with alcohol was a bad plan. Very bad.

He’d been puking in the toilet in the dark in his bathroom for the last twenty minutes.

And all the while his head continued to pound.

This was just some kind of flu. Something he’d caught. But man it was bad.

After what felt like an eternity, his stomach settled slightly. Thomas dropped onto the floor, exhausted, and stayed there with his eyes shut. After a while he had the presence of mind to flush the toilet, but after that, he just sat, trying not to think about anything. Everything hurt. He wiped his mouth with a growl of frustration and got to his feet shakily.

He’d need water and food after that, some part of him supplied. Or he’d faint. Slowly, he stumbled out of the bathroom, down the hall to his immaculate, very seldom used kitchen. All the curtains in the house had been drawn, and every light turned off. So naturally, he tripped over just about everything in his stumbling way to the fridge.

Once reaching the fridge, he kept his eyes shut as he opened it and cool light spilled out. He groped for something to eat and landed on a stick of butter.

Whatever. He’d take it.

His brain buzzed and whizzed around and the next he knew, he was on his couch, the stick of butter in hand, staring blankly at the swirling pattern on his ceiling.

“This sucks,” he croaked. “This is a big ol’ pile of cow dung, Jeff.” He frowned. “Jack… son.” Pathetic, really. Honestly, he couldn’t even say his name right.

He ate a piece of butter from a trembling hand and cursed the empty house in a general sort of way.

It was then, of course, that his cell phone buzzed. Light flooded the room like laser beams and he groaned, turning his head away.

But it kept on buzzing on the coffee table just a few feet away.

Muttering, he forced himself to sit up, and grab it.

“What?”

A shocked pause. “Oh.” It was Maria. “Goodness, you really are sick.”

Thomas would have rolled his eyes if that wouldn’t have hurt enough to send him to his knees. Instead, he blinked slowly. “Yup. What’s wrong?”

She sighed. “Ah, well, I was calling because I’ve been able to handle all of your responsibilities today thus far, but after that speech, if you disappear for too long-”

“They’ll forget about it.” She was right. They would. They needed to ride this wave of media presence if they wanted to get somewhere.

“Exactly. They need to keep seeing you. So… when can you come in?”

Thomas exhaled tiredly. “Uh, as soon as I can.”

“We really need you here, Mr. Jackson. I understand but-”

“Don’t worry,” he interrupted. “I want this just as much as the rest of you. I’ll be in tomorrow.”

He could hear her smile in her voice. “Great! Awesome. Thank you, sir! Please feel better. I will see you tomorrow, then!”

“Tomorrow.”

He hung up.

And tossed the phone sloppily across the room.

He’d think about everything... tomorrow.

From the outside, Alex’s record shop looked like one of those crappy corner stores where you buy lottery tickets and cigarettes and people hang to cause trouble. There were bars on the windows and the door needed new paint. It got stuck every time Alex opened it, and he had to shove his shoulder into it get it to work properly.

But Alex didn’t care.

He’d poured his heart and soul into this little shop and if his heart and soul looked like a crappy corner store, so be it.

That said, on the inside, he had done everything he could to fix it to exactly his liking. Records of all sorts were stacked in boxes and on the walls and on shelves, and large posters were framed on the walls. There was a semblance of order. It went like this: new stuff, front of the shop, old stuff, back of the shop. And it worked just fine for him. If anyone needed help, they’d ask and he could find them the record in less than thirty seconds. He and his roommate/best friend Jack ran the place and Alex wouldn’t have it any other way.

Alex, per usual, shoved open the door. The smell of coffee and warm leather greeted him. There wouldn’t actually be any coffee yet, but he’d brewed so much of it inside the tiny shop, the smell was sort of ingrained in the walls. He flicked on the lights and smiled.

In the back of the shop, he’d set up the pay counter, and he had dozens of record players to use. He’d choose a style for the day, usually, and Jack would probably complain about it, but that was okay. He swerved around the randomly placed shelves of records. He did pretty well with this shop. Especially since records were coming back as ‘retro’ and ‘cool’. Whatever. He liked the music and he liked being able to see the music as it spun. He liked the way it sounded and he loved searching for songs. Forgotten songs. Lost songs. Songs so rare, no one had listened to them in decades. He’d dig like some kind of treasure hunter in people’s garage sales, obscure auctions, pawn shops, for more music.

And then, if he felt like it, he’d sell his findings.

Before, Alex hadn’t had enough time to appreciate such things like music. He’d been so hurried, so desperate to make something of himself, he’d been solely devoted to writing and politics. They were everything.

He didn’t have his writings or his political career now. They weren’t ‘his’ anymore.

And funny enough, that was okay. The world would keep on spinning whether or not Alexander Miranda chose to step into the public eye.

However, he would like to make it clear, that he could. He could become all that he was in the 1700s. After all, back then he’d started with absolutely nothing. Even at his lowest moments in this life, he had far more than he had as the young, scrappy, and hungry kid that stumbled off a burning ship into New York without a single friend in the world and nothing but the clothes on his back.

Yeah, if he wanted, Alex could do it again. It would take some luck, but he’d pull it off like he always had.

But, man, he really kinda liked music. And he realized now, he wasn’t the type of person that could multi-task. He couldn’t listen to music and drink in a bar and dance with pretty girls and- and live if he was constantly waiting to get back to his ‘real’ life of writing and politics.

So whatever. Yeah, he didn’t have much money, yeah he lived in an area that was burgled every other night and drug busted at least once a week, but he didn’t mind.

People were as kind as they were bitter, and music had a way of soothing people, making them happier for just a moment. He’d never figured out how to do that as a politician or a soldier.

He’d thought it was just one of those gifts some people had.

Like Eliza. She’d been able to make anyone smile the moment they walked into a room.

And Alex had just assumed he couldn’t do that. It occurred to him maybe he hadn’t really tried.

He plugged in his favorite player and thumbed through a few of his favorite records. He wasn’t a hard core Beetle fan, but they were alright if he was in the mood.

Eh. He wasn’t today.

He was still debating between a classical Bach or Kansas when the bell on the front door rang. Kinda. The bell had a tendency to get drowned out by the shoving and pushing and scraping that it took to open the door.

Alex sat down in a swivel chair, hands behind his head, and spun in a circle. “If I look at you, and you look high, Jack, you’re going home.”

Jack, the roommate, stuck a ruffled head through the door and huffed. “Uh, for your information, I am clean.”

Alex glanced at him and snorted. “Clean.”

The redhead, almost-former druggie looked down at his wrinkled t-shirt and jeans and shut the door behind him. “In the substance sense.”

“That’s nice. Physically clean would be nice too.”

Jack glared at him, straightened his jacket with an eye roll, and stomped past him. “I’ll wash my face in the sink.” He opened the back door and left it open behind him.

“There are a washcloth and some spare clothes back there too, I think.” Alex had put some in there when he wasn’t sure whether he’d be able to keep up his half of the apartment rent. He grinned and used his legs to push the swivel chair halfway off the ground. He could just see Jack enter the bathroom. “You’re the best!” He added with cheeriness he knew Jack would find extremely grating.

“You’re the worst,” came his muffled reply.

Alex chuckled and went back to searching through his stack of records. He liked old music as much as he liked new music. And when he said old music, he meant like, the stuff people tended to just lump together as either ‘hymn church stuff’ or ‘classic ugh so boring’ as well as the music made in the early twentieth century.

He chose something at random and clicked it in place.

Mozart. Piano softly washed over the room. Now that kid been something of a phenomenon. Jefferson had detested him if he remembered correctly. Wouldn’t play any of his music. Alex had no idea why, just that Jefferson had always been very irritated whenever someone attempted to play it. Alex chewed his lip. See, this was the thing about old music. It was flypaper for memories. Even now, if he played the song he and Eliza had first danced to, he’d be thrown back to that hot summer night and the feeling of the blue silk dress beneath his sweaty fingers. Her light touch on his shoulder and his equally gentle touch on the small of her back. It had been humid and the hosts ran out of punch halfway through the night, he recalled. But it had been some kind of magical time anyhow.

He was usually very careful about which old music he played, just in case it was too much for him that day.

With a sigh, Alex pushed himself out of the chair, stretched his back, and started the coffee machine beneath the counter. He didn’t actually like coffee, but the caffeine was too large of an asset. He needed caffeine.

Once enough for a cup had brewed, Alex quickly removed the pot, poured the coffee into his cup, and hastily thrust it back under the hot stream. There was probably a reason the coffee machine was stained brown. He smirked, wrapped his hands around the hot mug, took a sip, and bent under the counter to continue his never-ending task of sorting. He’d come back yesterday from a day of hunting with a dozen new records that needed a home in the shop.

He’d done this for a few minutes when someone shoved on the door. Alex frowned. That was unusual. People were not often here this early.

With an armful of records in one arm and his coffee cup in the other hand, he struggled to stand.

“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry. Here, let me help you.”

The records slipped, but suddenly someone was there, taking hold of a bunch and setting them down on the counter. Alex smiled. “Thanks,”

“You are very welcome. Pardon me, but are you, Alex or Jack, sir? The sign outside said Alex and Jack’s Records and I… I… Are you alright?”

Alex stared, horrified. He had gotten very good at recognizing people. Mia had been right. It was in the eyes. He couldn't do it every time, but sometimes...

And there was no way he would ever forget the eyes looking at him right now.

“B-Burr?”

The man frowned, confused. He was a dark-skinned, smartly dressed man with close cut hair and a very familiar cautious, concerned smile. “It’s Barron, actually.”

The coffee cup slipped from Alex’s fingers, and the moment broke. Alex cursed and jumped back from the hot liquid. “Oh jeez, S-sorry, sir. I- no, I’m, this is fine. I’ll just clean it up.”

“Here, I’ll help.”

Burr- Barron- whatever, leaned forward and Alex jerked back as if burned. “No. Really. I have a cloth right here.”

Which he did. He was always spilling coffee it seemed.

He bent beneath the counter, and once he was hidden, waves of terror crashed through him.

Terrified wasn’t exactly what he thought he’d feel like if he ever ran into him. But here they were. His hands shook as he scooped up the coffee and deposited the broken ceramic into a small trash can.

Good enough.

It was obvious Burr didn’t remember. Otherwise, he would have reacted when Alex said his name. So… there was nothing to do. Nothing but serve him as he would serve any other customer. It wouldn’t be fair to him otherwise.

When did his life get so complicated?

Taking a deep breath, Alex wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up. He forced a smile. “Sorry about that. And, I’m Alex.”

Burr laughed easily and shrugged. “Nice to meet you. And don’t sweat it. We all have days like that.”

“I tend to have quite a lot of them.” Alex laughed nervously.

Look at him. Small talking with his freaking murderer.

“So,” Alex gestured at the records around them. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Looking for something specific.” Please say no.

“Actually I am. I’m,” He smiled sheepishly. Burr, being sheepish. What the actual heck. “I’m a history teacher, and, I swear this is relevant, there’s a piece of music that was composed during the eighteenth century that I heard about at some point. And anyway, I thought it would be interesting to show it to the students. But, I can’t for the life of me find it anywhere. I asked around and, long story short, they said you were my best bet for rare music.”

Alex bobbed his head. Probably too many times. “So, you’re teaching like, world history?”

“American. Revolutionary War, actually.”

Alex’s voice cracked. “Oh.”

There was an awkward pause. Alex cleared his throat. “So, do you know the name of the song? The composer? Year it was made?”

Burr chewed his lip. “I… I remember learning that Thomas Jefferson, the president, I mean, was fond of it. He was there when it was composed. A friend of his was the composer.”

Alex racked his brain, wondering where he’d picked up something so obscure, but shook his head. Alex hadn’t exactly been on speaking terms with Jefferson. “Sorry, man. I’d need more information than that.”

Burr sighed. “It was a long shot anyhow. Do you have anything from that time period?”

Oh did he.

He forced himself to think. A businessman. He was being a businessman. “Uh, um, I know Thomas Jefferson liked Bach. A lot.”

Jefferson used to hum it obnoxiously loud when Alex was trying to speak.

Burr’s eyes lit up. “Anything you can think of. That would be great.”

Okay. Alright.

He could find some Bach. Scurrying, Alex got to the back of the room and flipped through several of his classical pieces. He was having a hard time gripping things. Everything kept slipping through his sweaty fingers. Bach. “Here we are.” Alex lifted a record. Nearly dropped it. “I don’t know how much you know about music-”

“Very little.”

Alex did that strange nervous laugh again, fully aware that it would seem profoundly weird to Burr. Barron. Ugh. “Well, anyway, this is great. I read in a history book once that he’d often hum it when he was trying to concentrate, or uh, trying to derail other people’s concentration.”

Burr laughed. “Alright. That is certainly interesting.”

Alex handed him the record. “It’s rare, so I doubt you’ll find it this old. It was recorded early twentieth century. More authentic, people say.”

Shrugging, Burr walked to the counter. Alex scurried after him. “Sounds good.”

Alex named his price and Burr paid without complaint. He caught a glimpse into his wallet, and Alex mentally rolled his eyes. Of course, Burr would end up rich. Again. He must have some other source of income. Unless history teachers were usually carrying that much cash these days.

As Burr folded his wallet, Alex couldn’t bear the silence. It would eat him up inside. “So, um, Revolutionary War. You know a lot about it. That’s like, Founding Fathers, right? Alexander Hamilton and stuff?”

He kicked himself.

Why did he say that? Why the heck did he say that?!

Burr’s eyes lit up again. It was strange, so very strange to see him this way. Something had happened after the war. He’d lost that light. And now it was back. “Hamilton. That’s not usually one people name. He’s a particular favorite of mine.”

Alex’s stomach fell to his converse. Right. Of course, he was.

“Bit of a prat, but a financial genius. No one ever argued that. And a brilliant lawyer. Did you know he defended one of the first suspects of a murder conviction once America was a nation?”

Yeah. He did.

Alex shook his head. “No. That’s pretty cool, though.”

Barron stared at something Alex couldn’t see but suddenly shook himself. He smiled that sheepish smile once more. “My apologies. I do not mean to give you a history lesson.”

Alex tried to keep smiling. “Well, I hope your students enjoy the music. And- and you yourself, sir.”

Burr dipped his head. “Thank you for assisting me. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

With that, he tucked the record under an arm, forced open the door, and exited into the city morning.

Everything froze.

And

Alex fell backward, landing perfectly in his swivel chair. He held up his hands to his face and watched them shake in a detached horror.

“Yo, anyone tell you your clothes look like a Grandad's? Uh, what’s up? You look like you saw a ghost.” Jack poked his head through the back door, a toothbrush still in his mouth.

Alex laughed, slightly hysterically. “I just sold an antique record to Aaron Burr.”

Jack wrinkled his nose, thinking. “Wait, like, the wig and red coat guy in the duel?”

Sure.

Alex was frozen, staring at the place Burr had been standing. He needed composure.

“He told you?”

“Hmm?” Alex forced his eyes away. “Uh. Yeah.”

Jack gave him a seriously? look. “And you just let him walk away? Alex, he’s a murder! You should have called the police!”

What? Why? “He didn’t… he didn’t do anything to me, Jack. He just wanted a record to show to his students.”

“But, dude, he’s killed, someone!”

Alex blinked, crossed his arms and turned his swivel chair to face Jack totally. “More than two hundred years ago. In an entirely different life.”

Jack shook his head. “No, no, man. You gotta get out more. They’re saying old souls are stuck in loops. They just do the same things they did in their first lives. That’s why they’re dangerous. He’ll kill again if he hasn’t already.” He cocked his head. “Actually, nevermind. Don’t call the police. I think I still have some weed in one of your lockers.”

It took Alex a second to register that. He was already thrown by Jack’s worldview. “What? Dude! You can’t just leave weed in the store!”

Jack shrugged. “Sorry?”

Alex sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands.

He was going to need more coffee.

[kazosa]

Second Chances - Jeff x Reader: Chapter 23

Summary: Reader and Jeff work a project and become fast friends. The project ends and they go their separate ways, neither forgetting the other. With Hollywood being a small community, you two bump into one another either at events or projects, but there is always something keeping you apart. Will the obstacles ever end? Chapter 23 Summary: On the set of Supernatural Warnings: language (as usual) A/N: Please leave comments or let me know if you want to be tagged, etc. Veered off real-life course, inserted the reader into Supernatural. Word count: 1600 Catch up here: Masterlist Tags: @jml509  @jasoncrouse  @yellatthetopofyourlungs  @bookchic20  @prettyepiic  @rizflo-blog  @curious-sub7  @backseat-negan  @warriorqueen1991  @fairytale07    @sup--ernova

     Jeff was back to shoot episode 16 and you could not have been happier, except for the early morning call. Yeah, you were used to crazy schedules and working and sleeping at weird times, but you’d missed your love and neither one of you slept much the night before. You looked at the clock from the back seat of the suburban, 0430. The driver pulled into the lot and parked. Jeff was asleep with his arm around you.      You nuzzled your face into his neck and snaked your hand inside his jacket. His arm curled around you tighter and he kissed your temple.      You moved to kiss him proper, “Babe…(kiss)…we’re at work…(kiss)…get up…(kiss).”      His eyes opened and looked at you sleepily. “Sweetheart, either I’m awake, or I’m up. You can’t have both and one is inappropriate in the workplace.” He gave you his mischievous grin that showed off his dimples.      It had been a few weeks since you’d seen him and you’d gotten less than twelve hours with him before being picked up that morning. Like always, you’d missed him terribly. You took his hand and tried to get out of the suburban, but he didn’t move.     “We’ll finish this conversation later,” he told you. “I need a minute.”      It only took you a second to realize what he meant, “I’m not sorry. Meet you for lunch?”      “I think you better,” he said.      You opened the door and the cold air hit you immediately. Briefly, you thought you should leave the door open for Jeff. You just chuckled to yourself and closed the door with a grin.      “Good, you’re here,” you turned to see Bob Singer. He had Kim Manners, that week’s director, with him. “We need to talk. Let’s go to my office.”

     “You are out of your goddamned minds,” there was no question. They had finally gone off the deep end.      Kripke walked into Bob’s office and closed the door. “Told her, huh?”      Bob and Kim both gave him an affirmative nod. Eric pulled a chair over to sit by you. He leaned over, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped.      “(Y|N), we know you know the script. We’ve all seen you going over lines with the boys. I’ve seen you work, we all have. You already know the part. You’re 100% all the time, and you’re GOOD,” Eric emphasized. “Believe me, none of us has a problem telling an actor if they did shit work.”      “And if I fuck it up?” you asked, your face feeling hot.      “You won’t, kid,” Bob said. “I’ve yet to see a bad day of work out of you.”      You looked at Kim, the person you’d worked with the longest. He said more with his eyes than his mouth and his eyes were damn-near begging you to agree.      “What do you want me to do first? What about the PAs?!” you asked wondering how in the hell you’d been talked into being in front of the camera again.      “I’ll take you over to wardrobe. Then you can go to makeup from there,” Kim said.      “Don’t worry about the PAs, you trained them well. I’m sure you’ll whip them into shape if they need it,” Bob said.      Kripke smacked the front of your knee, “You need a copy of the script?”      “No, I have one,” you held up your trusty binder. In fact, you didn’t even need that. Your memory was good enough, and you had read through it a few times, you could recall almost anything in it.      You weren’t panicking, but your mind was reeling just the same. There was a lot of dialog with Sam and Dean, even John. You’d watched Jared work for a long time and you hoped that he wouldn’t do too much to make you screw up. Jensen’s character, Dean, didn’t like yours much, so that would be interesting. Getting yelled at was always a fun time. Your character had minimal interaction with John, but it was going to be weird as all hell acting with Jeff…

     Kim took you to wardrobe and let you get out of the golf cart. You turned to look back at him.      “This wasn’t in my contract,” you said.      He smirked, “It says, ‘and other duties as needed’.”      You were not amused. “I don’t want to let you down.”      He smiled a little, “You won’t kiddo. Wardrobe, makeup, set.”      You waved him away, “Yeah, I know the routine.”      You put your hand on the railing to the wardrobe trailer. For one fleeting moment, you had the urge to bolt. It’ll be okay, you encouraged yourself and climbed the stairs into the trailer.

     Once you were on set and doing the work, you were just fine. Yeah, it scared the hell out of you, but it was more because you didn’t want to look like the novice you were. Jared and Jensen were so good at what they did, it was easy for you to play along. Jeff was fantastic too. He gave you so much so that you could react well to him, too.      Kripke had given you the background of your character and you dove into it. You found your inner badass and became an avenging angel. If you’d had more time, you would have worked out harder. Jensen was only a year older than you and you were having a hard time keeping up with him, but you did it. Your lines came out breathy, but understandable. You only asked him to slow down once.      “You surprise me,” Jensen said after one take and you walked back to the start.      You were winded and had your hands above your head. It was a running scene and it was on the third take. It hadn’t been the first scene with a running sequence, either.      “How?” came out in a huff.      “This is what, the third time in front for you?” You nodded your answer and took another deep breath. “You know your stuff. You go balls to the wall the whole time. It’s…nice to get that in return, especially from someone who is really new.”      “Thanks,” you said. You didn’t know how to express your gratitude properly. “That means a lot to me. Really. I’ve watched a lot of people act and I’ve tried really hard to not make the mistakes I thought they made.”      “Why haven’t you done more?” he asked you.      You were both tired. Jensen was finally showing signs of fatigue.      “It scares the hell out of me,” you confessed. “I had paralyzing stage-fright in school and I had a really hard time making myself do it again. The only reason it’s going so well now is because of you, Jeff and Jared being so great.”      “Okay! Almost ready!” the AD called out.      “It’d be cool if your character could come back,” Jensen said.      Thank God you were covered in make-up, you were blushing hotly at the compliment. “Yeah, that’d be cool,” you heard yourself say. You must have been deprived of oxygen too long, because you were clearly delusional. “Oh my God, don’t tell anyone I said that!”      Jensen laughed, “Why not?”      “’Cause they might do it!” you were serious.      “Places! Settle!” the AD called.      Jensen grinned at you and bounced to get warm and ready to run again. You followed his lead and bounced from foot to foot. This take had to be the last one, the light was almost up and the shot was supposed to be dusky.      “Get out of your head. I can see you thinking. You’re the avenger now,” he told you.      “I’m a badass,” you said more for yourself than for Jensen. Just like that, you and Jensen switched over to your characters and were ready to shoot as Kim called “Action!” and you both took off like a shot.

WRAP PARTY      Jeff handed you your double Cap ‘n’ Coke. He always seemed to know what you needed. You took the tumbler from him and he put his arm around you, pulling you in close so you could tuck into his side. You slipped your arm around his waist as you took a long drag from the straw. Every wrong move you made over the last week was running on constant play-back in your head. The moments started to slow down and fade out as you took comfort in the feel of Jeff’s strong shoulder under your cheek. Whether he knew it or not, he always did the things you needed most. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the heat from Jeff’s body that did it, but you felt yourself melt into him.      You felt a rumble come from his chest. “Sweetheart, you were amazing. You totally killed it, stop worrying,” he held you tight.      He tipped your chin up to meet his smiling gaze. God, when he looked at you like that…you’d move mountains for that man. The masculine smell of his cologne, soap and smoke was so tantalizing, you didn’t feel much like partying. You and Jeff had always been able to know what the other is thinking at any given time just by looking.      His grin broadened even further. “Two drinks. Then we go,” he said, his mouth so close but not touching yours, the big tease.      “Fine, I’ll be sociable,” you told him and he finally kissed you, giving you a hint of what was to come later.

[caught-intherye]

Cost Of Education

           Sitting in a room that seems to have 50 times the square footage of my entire house, on the 5th row from the top, I can see everyone below me but the last person I pay any attention to is the professor at the bottom. The girl seven rows before me looks like she woke up before the sun, with blonde streaked beach waves falling from her braid, wrapped around her head like a crown. The irony of the girl to her right who looks like she woke up with ten minutes before this class started, wearing a beanie finding her palm to be a perfectly good pillow in the middle of this lecture about the laws against prostitution. I could never be a prostitute I think too much bang for your buck I chuckle out loud at my joke, if I don’t who will? Now I’m distracted by the scent of bad body odor, for a second I’m self-conscience about my own odor and I can’t remember whether I put on deodorant or not but then I notice a guy beside me opened his gym bag to pull out his phone charger (I judge him ever so slightly for having a Samsung, he’s probably super techy). Almost everyone has their laptop out, none of which are actually taking notes, I can see three people playing box head, five people on tumblr and a whopping 14 people just making those blue squares appear on their desktop page. The only reason my lap top is open, is because I’d rather have my hands resting on a key board than the table in front of me. My attention falls back on my professor as he’s pacing back and forth without talking, did he notice no one was listening? Did he ever really think we were listening? Then the short round man pushes up his glasses with a huff and looks at the ground shaking his head as if trying to remember something. My laptop makes the noise notifying me that I got an iMessage. It’s my manager from Starbucks, asking if I can come in early this afternoon at three; it’s already two thirty but if I leave now I can make it. I decide this lecture isn’t more important than an extra two hours on the clock so I pack up and leave.

            On a bus that smells like sweat and urine, but I’d rather that than the other thing you do in the washroom. Now picking at my nails making a mental note to get them done after work, whenever I get fake nails no one can even tell because I ask for then to be as short as my real nails, I can’t do my everyday duties with unrealistically long nails. I look out the windows and can see the smog blurring out the hills of northern California, maybe the pollution here is getting out of hand. I watch as a girl who looks like she couldn’t have seen more than thirteen summers light a cigarette and hope her mom doesn’t find out. Finally at my stop, I swing my green and brown backpack around and over one shoulder, trapping most of my hair under my strap; I’m used to it. As I’m standing at the back doors of the bus before they open I look down at my converse and realize my shoe lace is untied. Stepping off the bus I bend down to tie my shoe and my blue jean’s button pops open and my belly button feels free for the first time all day. Quickly fixing the wardrobe malfunction I look up and find my co-worker with his face pressed up against the glass window on the door giving me a creepy yet welcoming smiling. I hit him with an equally as creepy double eyebrow wiggle. I love how silly I can act at this job, and no one will think I’m actually silly, they’ll just think I’m cute and corky.

             “That’s cute” Jeff says while holding the door open for me to walk through, “I know” I say back without making eye contact. Jeff is a good looking man who always has the right amount of stubble, hair colour that matches the coffee we make, not quite an afro but pretty curly. His eyebrows thick and unkempt above his hazel coloured eyes, his smile is super cute but he’s such a goof ball that I could only think of him as a little brother. I throw my black t-shirt over my tank top and wrap the apron around my waist. Sara is working today, and she always has positive vibes and makes me appreciate life a little more every time I see her. With her blonde hair below her ears, she greets me with a warm smile that causes her blue eyes to squint a little. She has a tattoo of the solar system, with the sun on her left elbow and all the planets placed on rings circling the center. I couldn’t be happier working with these two.

           I’m on a break with Sara and we’re sitting on the wooden deck, she’s sipping a green tea with her legs crosses and I’m having a black coffee. We’re sharing a laugh while reminiscing all the times we purposely pronounce people’s name wrong when I get a text from a woman who works at my other job. She says she won’t be able to make her shift tonight and wants me to take it for her, I debate for a couple second but agree that I can never make too much money in one day so I take her up on her offer. I need to be on stage by ten so I need to make sure Jeff can drive me home fast. All my clothes, or lack thereof, is already in a canvas bag because I’m always on call for my night job.

           I get home at 9:45, if I take my bike I can make it in time. “Hey Ella, where yea going, sweetie?” my mother asks, “I promised some friends that I would meet up with them for some drinks.” I respond walking right by her in our crowded kitchen. My mom takes a break from washing the dishes in the huge sink as I back track a couple steps to pick up a couple tangerines. “Why are you in such a rush?” inquiring while wiping her hands, “they are already at the bar, mom, I don’t wanna miss anything.” and I close the door behind me as I enter the garage from our kitchen. I take my fixed-gear bike off the metal hooks on the concrete walls, and I’m off at least 55 miles an hour. I like going fast, it’s dangerous but it blurs everything around me out and does the opposite for my mental space, gives me room to think. I’m thinking about how far I’ve come turn left with my mom, she hasn’t given me shit for a while about going out, that’s just the beauty in growing up turn right I guess. Ok I should be thinking about something more productive. So no school tomorrow speed bump perfect time to get my nails done turn left I’ll ask Alex to come with me, she probably needs a manicure as well. Now I’m turning into a laneway where I enter through a backdoor. The same security guard gives me the same cut eye for bringing my bike in but I don’t trust people on this side of the city.

           My bike is resting against the wall and now my regular clothes resting at the bottom of this grey locker. I slip on my pink string-like bottoms, this colour looks a lot better on me when I had a tan. I should plan a day to go to the beach soon, maybe with my mom – I feel like I never hang out with her anymore. As I pull my top over my head that cuts off right under my nipple, Amanda walks into the room. She’s one of my favourite girls who work here, today just keeps getting better and better! “Hey girl!” she says with her southern accent. “Hey Mandy, I didn’t know you were working tonight.” She doesn’t like being called Mandy (says it just doesn’t sound right) but I call her that partly to mess with her; mostly because it adds some innocence to what it sounds like we do here. Without acknowledging the nickname she says, “I didn’t know you were either” then she dropped her leather bag with tassels from her broad shoulder, she was the only girl I knew who could pair that bag with a pair of low cut pale pink cowboy boots and a short jean jacket and still look cool and casual. “Yea, I don’t usually work on Tuesdays, I’m covering Amy’s shift. God knows why she couldn’t make it.” Before responding Amanda already had her floral sun dress on its way over her head. “I know why couldn’t make it too.” She replied while bringing one finger up to her nose, closing nostril with it and sniffing the air, I could only laugh in agreement.

NOW PRESENTING …. CANDI DARLING

           I strut out onto the stage, using my best bedrooms eyes and scan over every man in the audience until one man stops me dead in my tracks. My round, bald headed, four eyed Professor.

[rebelthroughreading-blog]

Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan

High school teachers can be too demanding, especially Mr. Griffin. Fed up with him, a group of kids plan a kidnapping prank, but everything goes wrong when Mr. Griffin winds up dead.

Quick Information

price: $9.00

number of pages: 272

ISBN: 978-0316099004

publisher and date: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers; Revised edition 2010

author’s website: https://loisduncan.arquettes.com

genre: juvenile fiction, mystery

main subjects: mystery and detective stories

Plot

After another hard day with Mr. Griffin, the strictest teacher at their high school, a couple of students plan to scare their teacher into being more forgiving to their students. With Mark Kenney in the lead, they plan to kidnap and frighten Mr. Griffin, then return him to the safety of his normal life with something to make him second guess being so mean to students. However, in order to make this work, they need a few more people, so they enlist Susan, a smart but lonely girl with a huge crush on the senior class president who also agreed to be in on the prank. With all of them set with their roles, some perhaps a bit more reluctant than others, they kidnap Mr. Griffin, but their plan goes south when something happens, and when they go back to check on their teacher who should be just fine, he is dead. The kids have to figure out what to do with their prank gone awry.

Who’s reading it?

Written on a 9th grade level, ages from 12 and up may be interested in the content of the book.

Why did I read it?

In all reality, I was a middle school student scanning the shelves of my school library for my next book to read when I came across Killing Mr. Griffin, written by the same author who wrote I Know What You Did Last Summer and Gallows Hill. Though I admit that I do not remember much of the latter, the former had intrigued me enough to keep reading more of Duncan’s works. The cover of Killing Mr. Griffin at the time that I read it was not the modern one with the noose behind the large and eerie words but two feet tied up in a way only a man laying on the ground could be. The picture was in black and white, almost a sepia color, and the title had a green stripe behind it. The cover was striking, especially when considering that I found it in my middle school library. At the time, I did not read the backs of books, plots, summaries, or even first pages or chapters to determine whether or not I wanted to read a book. I just read them. If only we could be as unprejudiced as we were when we were children. However, since then, I have reread the book, not only because it made such a good impression on me when I first read it, but also because it had a story that was appealing even after so many years. A couple of kids get mad at their teacher for being so mean and grading so harshly so they decide to do what they think is a harmless prank: blind fold and tie him up, smack him around a little, and leave him in the dark and cold for a couple of hours until he breaks and then let him go. But that does not happen, and these children have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Evaluation

This novel shows how good, honest people can be roped into doing terrible things. Susan is a straight-A student, sweet, always the good girl, and she agrees to participate in an outrageous plan because the boy on which she has a crush asks her to and her part is only doing something that she would already do. All she has to do is keep Mr. Griffin after school long enough for the rest of the students and staff to leave so that the other kids can do the kidnapping. She feels as though she is finally part of a group, has friends, and will maybe start to turn her life around to a happier and more positive way other than just doing well on tests and assignments. She does not want to go through with this plan, regrets it before, while, and after she has done it, and tries her hardest to set what they did right. 

The novel also switches between several perspectives, showing the different reactions to the same situation and getting a more complete story. Though the novel mainly focuses on Susan and David, the readers have the chance to see some of the workings to the other characters so that they better understand their actions.

The story is also a cautionary tale that describes what can happen when things get out of control. This is a worst case scenario from a plan that can only have bad endings. The characters have their own motives and views on what this prank is supposed to be, and none of them quite understand the gravity of their situation until it drops on them with full force.

The Issues

Violence / Murder by Minors

Mental illness

Manipulation

Teenagers kidnap, torture, and inadvertently kill their teacher. They leave him in the cold and away from his medicine that he needs for his heart condition. Though they may not have meant to cause his death, they did mean to kidnap and scare him. Their actions were purposeful and in some cases malicious.

The leader of their group is Mark Kenney who has a personality disorder, psychopathy, where he is charismatic and fully capable of manipulating others into doing exactly what he wanted. He makes the other teenagers want to commit this crime by calling it a prank with a motive that has their best interests in mind. He tells them what they want to hear, because he knows what will make them do what he needs.

So why should we read it?

The novel shows different perspectives of the same situation. Not many novels get into the heads of characters who are not the immediate main characters of a story, and yet this one does with the purpose of allowing the readers a fuller view of not only what happened and why but how it is affecting everyone, not just those main people. The readers see the teacher and his wife for a brief moment before the attack so that they can better understand the teacher’s personality and motives as well as the wife’s when she comes back into the story later. David’s grandmother gets a section to describe her feelings about the situation, and how she misinterpreted her grandson’s actions. We see Susan, David, Mark, Betsy, and Jeff - and occasionally their parents - which shows a whole different side to the story that the audience may never have considered had the story been left to only be in one point of view. 

How can we use it?

All of these extra points of view help readers relate to what is happening. They need to see how actions affect everyone, not just them or those immediately around them. They need to see that doing something that they may not see as a big deal can become a big deal. This book does a great job at showing how skewed perceptions can be, especially by those of young adults who are still at an impressionable age. They are learning to understand when they are being manipulated, when they are wrong, when they are right, and when they should trust themselves and people who are trustworthy. They also need to learn that sometimes they cannot do anything to stop what has already happened. These children were manipulated by someone who fed them lies of comfort and reassurances to keep them going, but they could not have known the extent of what they were doing. Do we excuse their behavior? No. They still participated in the kidnapping of their teacher which led to his eventual death, but they were coerced and heavily guided by a strong force. Sometimes people are led astray, and they have to figure out how to fix the wrongs before they become worse. 

Booktalk Ideas

Mark successfully manipulates several other teenagers into doing exactly what he wants. He talks them into believing that this is what Mr. Griffin needs and deserves. He justifies the actions, tells them plans for if something goes wrong, and makes them believe that he will take care of any issues. How is he able to do all of this so well, even with people he barely knows? Is it his psychopathy that allows him to understand and read other people so well?

Susan does not fit in with the crowd. She is a smart girl who keeps to herself and does not do anything that could be considered wrong or rebellious. The only reason she agrees to the plan is because David asks her and she has a crush on him. However, she is hesitant to say yes even then. Can extreme feelings such as having a crush makes someone’s judgement that blurred? Why is she so easily swayed? 

What else can I read?

We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier

I Know What You Did Last Summer by Lois Duncan

Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher

Awards and Lists

ALA Best Book for Young Adults--l976

Massachusetts Children's Book Award--l982

Alabama Young Readers Choice Award--l982-83 86-87

Nominated for California Young Readers Award--l982

Selected for Librarians Best Book List, England--l986

New York Times "Best Book for Children"--l988

NBC Movie of the Week -- 1997

Nominated for Edgar Allan Poe Award

Professional Review

Teri S. Lesesne, G. Kylene Beers, and Lois Buckman (1996), Journal of Adolescent & Adult Literacy - https://www-jstor-org.libaccess.sjlibrary.org/stable/40013439?seq=2#metadata_info_tab_contents