#willa; head canons

[twinge-of-cosmicangst]

I just woke up from one of the funniest dreams of my life. I was watching succession and Waystar had bought Tumblr. Tom was doing a huge presentation on it like it was a massive deal for Waystar and not some crappy little website but the absolute best part of the dream was that Tom had decided to rename it TUMBLAA. And I remember checking tumblr as I watched the show and there was obviously memes and gifs of Tom’s presentation. The dream was quite long actually but the only other thing I remember clearly about it was that Connor and Willa were like Tom’s assistants or something, and Connor was supposed to be moving the slides along for Tom but instead he was playing Sims 3 💀 and Willa could see him doing this from backstage and was texting him like “Why are playing sims? You need to do your job” Anyway I really wanted to message my irl friend whose a casual viewer the memes and gifs and tell her she needed to watch the latest episode so I woke up to do it only to realise it was a dream I was legit disappointed.

[pretty-little-mind33]

Tangerine x fem!reader

Summary: After accidentally killing your kidnappers, the twins—especially Tangerine—seem determined to keep you away from harm.

Genre: Fluff, hurt & comfort

Warnings: protiective!Tangerine, innocent!civilian!reader, kidnapping, swearing, mentions of injury and blood, canon violence, plot diverts from canon, No Ladybug—the other assassin is supposed to be Carver (since i felt the characterization would have been too off otherwise!)

~ thanks for requesting! i hope you like this hehe <3 @kpopgirlbtssvt ~

TANGERINE MASTERLIST

So far, the mission was running smoothly.

Lemon and Tangerine had killed all the men in the warehouse and were now making their way out with the White Death's son. Approaching their car, Tangerine throws his bloodied poncho into the trunk as Lemon stuffs the son's passed out body in the backseat. 

"Shit, bruv, I dropped my knife in the warehouse," Lemon suddenly whines with a grimace. 

His brother sends him an annoyed look, "Fuckin' cry me a river will ya? It's just a knife."

Lemon narrows his eyes at Tangerine and slams the car door shut. He deadpans, "It's not just a knife. It's Willa. You'know she's my fav."

"Shouldn't have dropped 'er then, yeah?" Tangerine snaps. 

Lemon ignores him and walks back into the warehouse. He's gone for a while and Tangerine wonders if perhaps he'd been hurt. Just as his annoyance turns to worry, he sees Lemon emerge from the warehouse, looking incredibly concerned. 

"Tangerine, come here," Lemon calls him over and based on the seriousness of his voice, Tangerine reluctantly follows him. His nose scrunches as they walk around the dead bodies they are responsible for. Lemon pulls at a filthy white sheet that hangs in the corner and it falls to reveal a makeshift room with old, beaten, boxes.

However, Tangerine's blood runs cold when he sees you splayed across the mattress in the opposite corner. 

Lemon sends him a look. "Heard 'er shift. I think she's asleep," he says. 

Cautiously, they move closer and Tangerine hears the occasional quiet whimper escape your lips. He kneels beside you, brows furrowing heavily, as with a gentle hand he pulls on your shoulder so you shift from your side onto your back. Your arm falls limp over the mattress and your head rolls to face him, causing Tangerine to inhale sharply. 

Your eyes are shut and your hair is messily splayed around and across your face. You're dressed in a pair of pajama shorts, worn out sneakers, and a tank top, the flimsy bedsheet the bastard that had done this to you had provided you with barely covers your bruised and exposed skin. 

Tangerine's jaw clenches when he sees the fingerprints on your thighs and arms. He looks at Lemon, who shrugs his shoulders and then leans over you to take your wrist and check your pulse. 

"Sleeping," he repeats. 

"Drugged," Tangerine argues and runs a hand over his face. Part of him wants to leave you here. You aren't his responsibility. He has a job to finish and anyway, he'd already killed the men who took you—probably? Hopefully? Fuck. He glances at Lemon, who seems debating the same thing and then Lemon catches his eye, as usual, his brother reads his fucking mind. 

"We have to take 'er," Lemon whispers, "She's innocent."

Tangerine looks at you again and his frown remains. Innocent. For all they know you could be the fucking evil mastermind behind it all. Maybe this was your plan all along and they're the fools who have fallen for the trick.

Only, his eyes soften when he watches your chest lift and fall a little harshly. You look so strangely delicate and it's making Tangerine lose his mind. 

No, you couldn't be anything other than pure innocence. 

Without another word, Tangerine shifts and hooks his arms under you. Your dead weight leans against his chest as the sheet falls from the curve of your foot and his hands tighten around you in fear you'll shiver from the sudden cold. 

Lemon watches his brother for a moment, a small smirk tugging at his lips. As much as he wants to, he doesn't comment on the scene in front of him.

* * *

Your head feels like it's spinning. The man you learned is named Lemon is yapping your ear off as you squeeze through the train aisle. You almost bump into him as he struggles with the poor man they'd told you bumped his head, and then the second man who'd introduced himself as Tangerine almost bumps into you.

You squeal, almost tripping, but Tangerine grunts and wraps his arm around your stomach so you don't fall. 

Quickly, as Lemon finds a booth and pushes the third man to lean against the window, Tangerine removes his arm and pretends like he didn't feel how badly you tensed under his touch. Raw anger simmers inside him at the mere idea of what your kidnappers had put you through.  

You watch as Lemon disappears with the silver briefcase for a moment and you wrap Tangerine's checkered coat closer around you. It's cool in the train and your exposed thighs and arms prickle with goosebumps. You don't dare complain. Tangerine sits next to you and he sends you a look. 

"Ya cold, luv?" he asks seriously. 

You look up at him, eyes widened innocently, and hesitate before you nod. Tangerine hums, happy you're communicating in some way, and he looks around. He stands and disappears down the aisle.

Lemon obscures your view for a moment when he sits across from you and when Tangerine returns, he's holding a sweatshirt over his arm. He hands it to you without a word and when Lemon gives his brother a confused look. Tangerine rolls his eyes and says, "What? I nicked it for 'er. She's cold."

Lemon hides a smirk as he holds up his arm in surrender and doesn't say much more. You slowly let Tangerine's coat fall from your shoulders as you slip on the sweatshirt. It's large enough to cover up to your mid-thigh and you feel less uneasy.

"So, ya really don't remember what those men wanted with ya?" Lemon interrupts.

You shrink in your seat. You wish you could remember more of your kidnapping so you could tell them. When you came to, you were already in the Twins car and they'd informed you you had been drugged and most likely kidnapped. You couldn't remember why. 

While the Twins had been nothing but kind to you, you still can't shake the feeling that they aren't the knights in shining armor you want them to be. You peer at Tangerine as he plucks a pack of snacks from the passing trolley. Without hesitation, he turns and hands them to you. 

You sit up a little and look at the snacks, eyes round. Tangerine nods silently as if to say, "It's okay," and then turns his attention to his brother, his blue eyes sharp. "She said she doesn't remember. Will ya lay off her?" he snaps.

You open the snacks and eat them up quickly. You hiss as your split lip opens from your carelessness but you continue to eat anyway.

Lemon and Tangerine bicker again but you're too focused on the food in your palms to care. Lemon sends you a sympathetic look as Tangerine calms down and the third man, who is sitting in a booth across from you all, starts to stir. 

* * *

"I am not leaving 'her alone with 'im!" Tangerine exclaims as he stares at Lemon like he's lost his mind. Lemon throws his hands up in the air and glares at his brother. "I don't trust 'im. If he's anything like his Daddy then he's bad fuckin' news," Tangerine reasons.

"So, what's your plan then? You gonna keep her safe by your side, hm? Someone took our case and I can guarantee they aren't gonna play nicely, bruv! She's a fuckin' liability, that's what she is!" 

Lemon raises good points but Tangerine ignores him completely. 

"She's our responsibility now, Lemon," he says sternly but he's distracted by the doors to the cabin sliding open and your frame slamming into his chest. Surprised, he tenses as your hands grasp helplessly at his suit and hide behind him. Lemon looks as puzzled as his brother when he sees how scared you look. 

However, unlike Lemon, Tangerine is in a panic. He spins around and holds onto your shoulders. He leans down as you hyperventilate, his heart beating so loudly. "Hey, hey, luv, what happened? Are ya hurt? What's wrong? Tell me," he says. His large hands move up to cup your tear-stained cheeks as he tries to calm you down.

You make small gasping sounds and point to the now shut doors you just came from. "T-the man! H-he w-was poisoned! I saw the person in the costume prick him with something and now there's blood coming out of his eyes. I think he's dead!" you sound completely horrified and Tangerine can't help himself when he wraps you in his arms and holds you closer.

Lemon paces behind him, clearly alarmed that the white death's son was murdered under their care, but Tangerine is only focused on you.

"Hey, darlin', can you look at me," he whispers as he tries to ground you. "You're fine. Shh, you're okay now. You did the right thing running to us, hmm?" you nod, still clutching onto Tangerine. Lemon scoffs from behind you and his brother sends him a dark look. "She's staying with me," Tangerine says. 

"Your funeral mate," Lemon says and unlocks his gun. He looks at you and his eyes soften for a moment before they land on Tangerine. "You've gone completely sweet for 'er," he says in a whisper, almost like he can't believe he's saying those words out loud, "be careful." 

You look up at Tangerine and see his jaw clench for a moment. Something flickers in his eyes—denial perhaps—but he just ignores Lemon's warning and guides you back into the train compartment to make a plan. 

* * *

Your head is throbbing as it hits the wall of the train. You hear ringing in your ears as Tangerine's shouts become hazy. You feel a hand curl around the hood of your sweatshirt as you're yanked up and thrown to the opposite side of the room again. You crash into the cupboards as foods from the shelves fall onto you.  

"Fuckin' bastard," Tangerine seethes, recovering from a punch the man had landed in his stomach. He lunges and hits the man in the nose, the crack audible, as the man crumbles to the ground. Tangerine sees red as he straddles the man and punches him repeatedly. "Ya don't fuckin' touch 'er! Ya hear me? I see one fuckin' bruise from your fingerprints on her again and I'll break all your fuckin' bones!" 

You struggle to stand, shards of glass stuck in your palms as you watch the scene with a scared expression. The man slams a glass onto Tangerine's head and taunts cruelly, "What's she to you, hm? One of your little bitches? Your reputation betrays you, Tangerine." You wince at this man's words and when he stares at you, your breath hitches.

"Huh, you one of his bitches, girl? A stunner like you shouldn't be involved with men like him, you know—but, I can see why he keeps you around, I mean you're—" 

Tangerine interrupts him with a hard punch in the jaw and his sentence falls short. Without hesitation, Tangerine takes your wrist in his hand and speed-walks away from the scene. You stumble after him as he grunts in pain from the blows he'd taken. When he finds an empty bathroom, he pushes you inside as he crams into the small space. 

Tangerine's hip is digging into the sink as he holds up your palm. "Shit, look at your hand," he mutters and then looks up at you more closely, "You aren't too hurt, are ya? I'm sorry, darlin'." 

You stare at him, your adrenaline pumping, and blurt out the first thing you think of as you look at the cuts and bruises across his face, and at how disheveled and bloody his suit has become. "You look like shit," you say with concern, and with your other hand, you push some curls away from his forehead. Your fingers dance across his skin delicately, too worried for him to realize what exactly you're doing

Tangerine's eyebrows raise in surprise and he laughs. You pull your hand away and stare up at him, your wounds obvious from the blows that the other assassin had landed on you. However, he just smirks. "Atta girl," he whispers, and almost as if on instinct he moves to press his knuckles to your cheek. You feel the warmth spread across them. 

Clearing his throat, he pulls his arm away and looks down to unlock his gun. "We gotta find Lemon and we need to get off this god-forsaken train—job be damned. I'm not putting you at risk anymore." You nod, wiping some blood from the corner of your mouth with your sleeve.

"You stay behind me and listen closely. If I say jump, you jump, understand?" he says and slides the door to the bathroom open.

* * *

Tangerine feels his eyes hang heavy as he tries to erase the memory of Lemon's dead body. His heart is pounding as he feels your hands clutch around his arm. He hadn't let you see Lemon, not fully, but you'd cried from the situation anyway (and in fear of his anger he assumes). 

After all, he is furious.

"Fuckin' diesel bitch," he mutters, his gun pointed at the girl dressed in pink.

The young girl snarls and stares at him defiantly. She doesn't seem scared of him. However, as soon as the third assassin—the brown-haired man from earlier—enters, she screams. Tangerine senses you tense beside him and he quickly moves to shield you as the man points his gun at you and him. 

Tangerine fires his gun sloppily and it hits the man in his neck. However, he's too slow to prevent the man's bullet from hitting you in the shoulder.  

You shriek and the pain is excruciating as you fall to the ground. Tangerine spins around, catching you in time as he holds you close and applies pressure to your wound. He holds up your head as he looks into your teary eyes.

"Shit, fuck, fuck, hey–shh, you're okay," he promises, his voice strained. You're not trained for the pain and as much as Tangerine tries to prevent you from looking, your eyes move to your shoulder. 

There's blood everywhere. 

Tangerine can see that you're in shock as your eyelids flutter. He holds you up but he can't think as you lose consciousness. He wants to scream and he slams his hand onto the ground next to you, desperately holding you to him. 

He needs to help you.

Somehow.

* * * 

When you wake, you hear Tangerine's voice loud and clear— "You told me you weren't wearing yer fuckin' vest!" he snaps, pacing around the small motel room. Your eyelids flutter and you see Lemon—Lemon!— sitting on the second queen bed, his head in his hands. Tangerine's pendant still hangs from his neck. 

"Will ya stop screaming at me!?" Lemon hisses, pinching his nose.

"I though' ya'd died!!" 

From where you lay you can see how furious Tangerine looks. His suit is still bloody and he looks as disheveled as he did on the train. You can hear how pained he sounds and your heart sinks.

Lemon is silent for a moment and then he stands. Without any smart comment or argument, he walks over to his brother and wraps his arm around Tangerine's shoulders. Instantly, Tangerine's body seems to melt into Lemon and you hear a choked sob as they hug—you aren't entirely sure who it's from. 

After a moment, Lemon pulls away first but puts his hand on the back of Tangerine's nape. "I see ya managed to keep 'er safe," he says, amusement in his voice as he turns to you and you shut your eyes so they'll think you're still asleep. 

"Barely," Tangerine's voice is strained, "She's hurt. I tried'a stitch her up as best I could but I ain't no fuckin' doctor. She was passed out the entire time—hope she didn't feel a thing."

You hadn't.

"You care about 'er," Lemon states and you hold your breath. 

"I don't," Tangerine insists quickly. "She's just a responsibility. Nothin' more, nothin' less."

Your chest tightens at his words and you feel very stupid. Why would he care more than that? You're still strangers. You don't even know his favorite color. All you know is that you care.

He'd saved you. He was your savior. How could you move on and pretend he wasn't? How could you move on and just not see him anymore?

Lemon sighs sadly, "Why is it so hard for you to admit you care about someone?"

"Because everything I care about dies. Gone. Just like that, Lemon," you hear Tangerine snap his fingers and you flinch, "I don' want 'er to die because of me. Because I cared too much to let her go and live a normal fuckin' life!" 

You bite down on your lip—hard. 

"I–fuck, you don't understand Lemon," Tangerine says and you wish you could open your eyes to see him. You want to see him so badly but you can't so you stay still, listening in. "I almost lost you and you're a trained assassin! She's just a girl. I can't protect her. I couldn't even protect her tonight."

You want to tell him that he's wrong. He can! He had! Without him, you'd still be kidnapped or worse, dead. 

"Mate, you're too hard on yourself," Lemon reasons. 

"No. I'm not. I can't fuck up. Fuckin' up means death," Tangerine says sternly, his tone ending the conversation.

You hear faint footsteps and then the mattress dips as someone's nimble fingers find your hairline and push away some stray hairs. Is it weird that you recognize his touch already? You stir unconsciously and shift onto your back, your eyes opening. 

You're unaware that as they flutter, all Tangerine is picturing as his blue ones staring back at you is the way you looked when they'd found you—hair messy and spilled across the dirty mattress, skin bruised and bloody. His stomach churns and he feels sick. 

"Hi, darlin'," he mutters, and then his fingers, slow and deliberate, move to pull down the blanket so he can access your bound shoulder. You tilt your head and wince when you see the blood seeping through the plaster.

"May I?" Tangerine asks as his hand hovers over your shoulder. You nod, staring up at him with widened eyes as he checks over your wound. 

As he works, you're overwhelmed and you have to look away. When you do, your eyes fall on Lemon. "Lemon," you say, "you're alive!" 

Lemon cracks a smile and runs a hand over his face, "I am. Were ya sad, bird?"

It's meant to be teasing but you nod instantly and Lemon's eyebrows crease. He looks at Tangerine, who stands up and pulls the covers over you again. "She's a sweet bird, ain't she?" Lemon says as he smiles fondly. Tangerine nods and moves some hair behind his ear as the strands fall messily. 

"Yeah," is all he answers and then he tells you, "Rest up now, luv. Your stitches are solid and you need sleep. It's been a long day." You wonder if he knows you'd overheard his conversation with Lemon or if he's blissfully unaware. You try and sit up but Tangerine scowls, "Hey, now, none of that," he reprimands. 

"Don't leave me," you say seriously and Tangerine's eyes round.

"Pardon?"

"I don't want to be alone—" you whisper and settle into the pillows again, looking up at him. 

"Lemon and I will just be over," Tangerine starts to explain but you reach out and grasp his wrist. You stare up at him silently and Lemon chuckles. 

"Think she wants ya to sleep with 'er," he says and Tangerine's cheeks turn pink at the double meaning. He sends Lemon a glare but sits back down beside you. He lets you hold onto his wrist as he thinks of a plan. 

You wonder if asking him to lay next to you is too much. You would understand if he refuses.

"I'm gonna clean up a little," Tangerine finally says, "and then Lemon can take the other bed and I'll—I'll sit here, on the floor, and hold your hand so you can sleep?"

His voice has a slight tremble you wonder if he's suppressing, and you can't help but wish he'd just hold you.

"You'll be uncomfortable," you try persuading him as he stands and his wrist slips from your hand.

"I want to keep watch tonight anyways," Tangerine says and smiles. It isn't a smirk—no it's a real smile. You don't argue as you nod.

Your arm dangles from the bed as you try and stay awake long enough to know Tangerine will actually hold your hand. You feel your body slip in and out of sleep as you catch only fragments of Tangerine's conversation with Lemon through the open bathroom door. 

"We'll call Billy tomorrow morning and she can call 'er family—tell'em she's safe."

"Ya know, ya could just sleep in the bed—next to her—it's really not that odd,"

"Shut up,"

You're so close to sleep your eyelids feel so heavy that when you hear quiet shuffling near your ear, you can't even open your eyes. Your hand twitches and a soft sound escapes your lips when you feel Tangerine's fingers interlock with yours. 

"I'm here," he whispers, the sound so quiet if you weren't so close to him you'd miss it. You hear the sound of his head hitting the bedside table and with an exhausted wince, you shift closer, your hand squeezing his. 

"Thank you f-for everything," you manage to mumble, your eyes remaining shut. You aren't sure your thanks escaped your lips audibly because he doesn't answer. You slip into sleep, unaware of Tangerine's mind racing as his hand remains in yours. 

Don't thank me, he thinks, please. 

His drowsy eyes are trained on the motel door as Lemon washes up in the bathroom. He refuses to shut them. While his back is already aching from sitting on the floor and his arm is tired from being in such an awkward position to hold your hand, he doesn't move. 

Instead, he listens to your calm breathing as you sleep. It's so different from when he'd found you—you'd been so scared and, even drugged, your body had been on edge.

Now, you sound so calm and secure and as silly as it sounds, Tangerine's chest tightens. As long as he can help it he'll make sure you're never that scared and vulnerable again.  

[dancingtotuyo]

Woman | Joel Miller x Reader

Complete, Rating: Mature/Explicit

Watch her take me by surprise

When she lets me call her mine

Do you ever really know?

Can you ever really know?

Summary: Joel Miller returns to Jackson bringing back memories and feelings from 20 years ago, but you refuse fall into the universe’s trap again. Your table is at capacity. Adding another chair will only kill you when they get taken away.

Tags: Joel Miller X Reader. Age Gap. smut. hurt/comfort. Life in Jackson. single parent. post season/part I. Mostly TV show canon compliant. TV show versions of characters. playing with the timeline. Tommy’s been in Jackson for a lot longer.

Warnings: descriptions of blood, gore, trauma. Grief & loss. Loss of a spouse. Violence. Smut/Explicit content. Panic attacks, depression, anxiety. MISC canon topics. Chapter specific warnings before each chapter.

Playlist - Updated with each chapter release

Part I

1. tame the ghosts in my head 2. a clouded mind and a heavy heart 3. pick up your clothes and curl your toes 4. walk with me, i think we’ll find a way 5. sleep the hours that i can't weep 6. play my bloody part 7. when she lets me call her mine

Before - A Woman Story

Five peeks into your life before Joel Miller reentered it, recommended to read in between Part I & II of Woman

Part II

8. a cry of my heart to see 9. the fear of what’s to come 10. hold you from the world and its curse drabble. what's that i see? 11. up from the dust, inconceivable love 12. love with urgency but not with haste

drabble. love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears

Part III

13.with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair 14.in the cold light i live to love and adore you 15.holding my breath for you epilogue. the ghosts that we knew

More Reading:

lover of the light Willa's third birthday

Summer of '03 The bridge: A scene that happen in every universe and also the point of divergence.

Landslide A no outbreak AU: Can you and Joel find each other when society stands tall, dictating what is and is not acceptable? Or will it keep you from one another?

Bonus Content:

Art commission based on chapter 12

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Things in Zombies Re-Animated that I can't stop thinking about/just stuck out to me Idk:

Bartleby. He is very cute.

Like literally one of the best looking scenes in the entire show is the bit where he licks the sandwhich Dae gave him. The way his eyes close and his ears go back makes me so happy I love it when animals do that

Also Bartleby screaming in Something to Tok About is a really funny gag Idk-

The animals in this show are all great tbh I love that so many characters get to have weird little pets

WHEN BUCKY MET BARKY IS SUCH A SWEET EPISODE SJFNVKEMFMEMDN

Bucky somehow picking up on Dae being an introvert before anyone else does???

The Trevor Tordjman jumpscare in Something to Tok About

Shrimpossible

Bucky loving cool frogs, mostly because it's a mood

Just Bucky in general tbh

Also I really like Dae! I was kinda worried she would be annoying, because one of her defining traits is how quirky she is and that kind of character can get annoying FAST, but so far Dae's actually been really fun!

Also I think it's very funny that her VA(Kayhun Kim) was in Cocaine Bear

The Mothership not being Ru Paul anymore. A VERY understandable choice(getting Ru Paul back would be EXPENSIVE), but disappointing none the less

The fact that Bree canonically writes fanfic about A-spen and Wynter because she has a weird disconnect between them being her friends and them being her favorite band-

The fact that Wyatt and Eliza actually got together and then broke up over the course of like, 5 episodes? Which isn't a bad thing! I think their relationship was actually handled really well, which is why I'm gonna be thinking about it a lot lmao

WE'RE BRINGIN IT IS STUCK IN MY HEAD AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT H E L P

Bucky and Willa being friends. Them being friends is very important to me.

Zeddison. Just Zeddison. I love them <3

Willa and A-spen BARELY interacting in the first 11 episodes :(

Willa and Bree friendship :)

Bucky and Dae friendship :)

S p a g h e t t i W a t e r f a l l

Im glad Trevor Tordjman is ACTUALLY singing again in the show. If you don't count rapping(which I don't bcuz rapping and singing require different skill sets), he hasn't had an actual solo part in anything since like. Fired Up Competition. Which is weird cuz he's actually a pretty decent singer???

I'm also glad we get to hear Kylee Russell sing more!!! Her voice is so pretty :)

The soundtrack in general is really good

Eliza singing a love song to a vending machine

Addison and Bree's joint hallucination being the thing to prove to them they're still besties. Only real ones share hallucinations fr

Coach and the Solstice Slasher being highschool besites???

RAZZMATAZZ!!!!!!!!

Just Coach and his relationships in general tbh

The poster of Eliza in Invasion of the Bucky Snatchers. That image is going to haunt my nightmares f o r e v e r

SERIOUSLY I LITERALLY CANNOT GET WE'RE BRINGIN IT OUT OF MY HEAD IT'S TOO FUCKING CATCHY-

Also my brain has constructed a version of It's Okay where Wyatt's part is replaced with the chorus of I'm Not Okay, I Promise by MCR and that won't get out of my head either 💀

Also also every time I see the title of that song I start thinking about It's Alright by Mother Mother?

Basically everytime I think about It's Okay I get every song EXCEPT It's Okay stuck in my head. For some reason

And then We're Bringin It gets sTUCK IN MY FUCKING HEAD AGAIN SERIOUSLY IT WON'T FUCKIN L E A V E

Bucky is canon m-spec and polyamorous that one scene in A Wyatt Place confirms it I'm nOT INSANE I'M NOT-

I miss the Aceys 😔

This show has a surprsingly similar sense of humor to South Park and Smiling Friends? Like obviously it's really toned down because Re-Animated is on fucking Disney Channel, but like... idk it has the same vibes

The Blob

I wanna know when the rest of the season is coming out cuz I need moooooooore

[thesunwillshineonusagain757]

I know your blog is very focused on Rhaegar x Lyanna but I wanted to ask what are other Game of Thrones universe ships you like. Can you give me a top 10 ?

This is a really cool question my top 10 is very weird. I like very different couples it’s my crack ship obsession. I’m gonna put an honorable mention to Sigorn x Alys Karstark, Arthur Dayne X Jaime Lannister, Sansa Stark x Margaery Tyrell, they are a cute couples but they don’t make my top 10 !

10. Alysanne Targaryen x Alaric Stark: I mean, I do have an obsession with stark/targaryen, fire and ice, ships so this was no surprise. My head canon is that this helped Alysanne with a lot of trauma from her first trip on Westeros where she was attacked. And I love that Alaric is kind of grumpy at the beginning but warms up to her with time.

9. Jacaerys Velaryon X Cregan Stark : Again stark/targaryen ship, but gay ! Two of the things that I love the most in life. I’m very sad that apparently Cregan won’t be making another appearance in this season of House of the Dragon. Because you know, I just wanted to see my ship or a little bit more of it.

8. Oberyn Martell X Willas Tyrell: This one is kind of complicated; For people that don’t know Willas is a book only character, he is the heir of HighGarden, when he was very young, he went into jousting, and he jousted against Oberyn. But sadly because he was so young and unprepared, he ended up having a very serious injury on his leg. And that caused the Martell’s and Tyrell’s to have even more beef than they already have, but the cool thing is Willas did not blame Oberyn. They became friends after this. So yeah I ship them because this one brings a softer side of Oberyn that we rarely see.

7. Jon Snow x Satin : I mean, bisexual Jon Snow, that’s it.

6. Ned Stark x Jaime Lannister : This one is one of the crack ones, and I know a lot of people will think I’m mad. But if you read the books, and you read Jaime’s POV you know for a fact, he had a huge fat crush on Ned Stark. Also bisexual Jaime Lannister !

5. Lucery Velarys x Aemon Targaryen : Oh we’re getting to the toxic one. This is more like a very dependent on the AU vibe. But I like the idea of forgiveness and growth. 

4. Brienne of Tarth x Jaime Lannister: I mean, you don’t really have to explain this one. it’s amazing. It’s probably the best thing that happens to Jamie in the books and in the series, and I will be eternally bitter of how they were treated in the tv show.

3. Arya Stark X Aegon Martell Targaryen : This the one that is the most cracked ship of all of them, but hear me out, yes, I know that the possibility of young Griff, being Aegon, is very slim, but I don’t care. 

2. Lyanna Stark x Jaime Lannister : I’m usually attracted to ships that are opposites attract, but that is not the case of this one. I would like to make the claim that Jamie Lannister and Lyanna Stark, are virtually the same person in different fonts. Middle child, of dysfunctional family, that lost their mom, has a very ambitious dad, and a kid that has to grapple with the weight of societal ecxpectations, but at heart are both rebellious. 

1. Rhaegar Targaryen x Lyanna Stark : I mean, this one is my OTP, of all the ships of all time. It’s my sensitive boy, and my tomboy girl, they’re everything to me and no, I will not be questioned or hear any criticism for it!

[istumpysk]

I came across an anon of yours saying that ashford theory has been 'debunked' because they and a lot of other people believe george created Harry Hardyng as replacement of Robert Arryn for scrapping the five year gap.

First of all, I would want to know what purpose only Harry could achieve in Sansa's story that Robert couldn't because of younger age, that George felt the need to create a considerably older suitor? I understand all the bnfs get boners at the idea of Sansa getting married to Harry and staying in the Vale forever, but again the same could've been achieved with Robert too. Its not like Tommen isn't his age and not married to Margaery. In actuality, normal people know Harry is dying because of 1) the Young moniker and 2) Sansa's wish of him falling, and again Robert could've died in his place easily too, to 'free' Sansa.

And if the purpose of his creation in event of not following the five year plan, wasn't an older betrothed/husband for Sansa, what was it?

Problem with the fandom is that they put too much emphasis and focus on things we know nothing about. Like when or how George decided to scrap the five year gap plan. Its pure speculation that it was between 2000 and 2005. And it is even more speculation that he had no plans to introduce Harry Hardyng before scrapping it, or that he was a last resort (which as I showed, there was no need of, as Robert, even five years younger, fulfills those purposes). Its the same with the original outline.

And there is too little focus on the actual canon, which is that Hardyng is a minor house with no other mention except in the Hedge Knight. Even if George DID create someone last minute, it is TOO much of a coincidence it just happened to be a Hardyng and that Sansa wishes for him to have an accident with his horse in the tourney like Humfrey (his counterpart) did in the Ashford tourney. In her latest chapter in 2015. Even if he did not intend it to be intentional, he sure seems to be retconning it. This is not even considering that all the other champions also share parallels with their Ashford counterparts:

Lyonel=Lion=Joffrey; Baratheon and Lannister champions defeat the maiden's brothers; Willas Tyrell is straight up called another Leo Tyrell; Valarr's father was named after Baelor the Blessed=Rhaegar was called another Baelor the Blessed. He himself is called a black prince with a white guardian=Jon.

George must be blind if he did not see any of this while writing it because one or two names similar, I can accept as coincidences, but ALL the champions have parallels with Sansa's suitors.

Well said, anon.

Let's address this head-on: the biggest problem with the Ashford theory is that the first person to discover it made a mess of it. Now, they wander the internet, asserting authority and attempting to undermine it, simply because they disagree with its clear conclusion.

The theory was so thoroughly botched that people think it can easily be tossed aside due to a technicality involving Robert Arryn or the tournament's disruption. As if that could ever be enough to dismiss the abundance of other similarities, many of which they're not even aware of.

Can you imagine the fandom insisting on any other theory being this airtight?

[atopvisenyashill]

Feed my delulu bestie… Sansa & Theon book canon??? Your posts give me hope when I shouldn’t have it lol.

there's so much canon evidence dammit! i always get a lil put out when people say it’s a show only thing. certainly the show made it more popular but you can say that about like 90% of the ships in the fandom! and there’s a lot here already without the obnoxious sansa bolton show arc!

For one thing, theon straight up dreams about marrying sansa-

Sansa was the pretty one. He remembered a time when he had thought that Lord Eddard Stark might marry him to Sansa and claim him for a son, but that had only been a child's fancy.

I think this is very similar to Sansa’s fantasies about Willas Tyrell-

She pictured the two of them sitting together in a garden with puppies in their laps, or listening to a singer strum upon a lute while they floated down the Mander on a pleasure barge. If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa's dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.

For both of them, they dream of a marriage that signifies a return to the safety and welcoming of childhood, of home. Notice the focus for both of them on Stark Identity - Theon wants to be accepted as true kin by the family that raised him in an attempt to cope with his status as a hostage while Sansa focuses on the idea of having children named for her lost family members in an attempt to cope with her continued instability also as a hostage.

Which brings me to their shared status as child hostages! While not a unique social status in the world of Terros, they are unique in being our only two PoVs that really dig into the harm of being a hostage. From Theon’s longing to be a Stark and the way it's held against him by Balon to Sansa’s longing to be Joffrey's queen turning to resentment over being “made a Lannister”, both of them go from a sort of rose colored happy go lucky outlook to an extreme drop into brutal reality as Theon reckons with his trauma while sacking Winterfell and Sansa is shoved head first into the danger of politics and intrigue.

As their time as child hostages morphs into a status that is more murky but considerably more dangerous - who knows what the fuck Littlefinger is planning, and whatever Ramsay has cooking it's obviously nothing good - both of them take on another identity in Alayne Stone and Reek. They are both forced into this identity by the person in control of them, becoming subsumed into this new identity. Here is, imo, a very interesting aspect of both their characters as they exhibit a sort of...mental break of a sort when they change identities. They "kill" their old identities and truly become this new person; they act different, they speak different, they actively reject reminders of their former identity, with their chapter names even changing from "Theon" and "Sansa" to their new names. And yet that former identity is a key part of who they are and it cannot stay buried for long-

I am not your daughter, she thought. I am Sansa Stark, Lord Eddard's daughter and Lady Catelyn's, the blood of Winterfell. She did not say it, though.

The old gods, he thought. They know me. They know my name. I was Theon of House Greyjoy. I was a ward of Eddard Stark, a friend and brother to his children. "Please." He fell to his knees. "A sword, that's all I ask. Let me die as Theon, not as Reek."

Again, both Theon and Sansa focus on their connection to House Stark - Sansa as the blood of Winterfell, Theon as a ward of Ned. For Sansa, it’s about going to the home she took for granted, the home Theon years for; a place she felt safe, a family that loves her, a space she can reflect on her memories and grief with peace and understanding. For Theon, that home never existed at all! It was something he made up in his head, cobbled together from half remembered feelings of love from his mother, a dream of what it might have been like to be an older brother and beloved son. Ultimately, Winterfell and the North represents to both of them the concept of reconciling reality with the dream & delusions they’ve built up in their minds, taking a step forward and growing into adulthood.

Now….the thing about adulthood is it typically involves marriage and that is something I think a lot of people don’t take seriously when it comes to Theonsa - oh theon is too gross or whatever. But the thing is that Theon experiences this kind of sexual violence and helplessness that he himself visited upon others and enabled and I think it puts him in this interesting and unique place of finally understanding a) how gross he actually is and b) connecting to Sansa through a shared sexual helplessness. Now I’m not saying like, ~theon being reek’ed was narrative setup and punishment for theonsa~ but i AM saying this is a natural stepping point (imo) of Theon’s arc.

Think about like. Theon looking the other way while his men rape the women he’s captured, uncomfortable but feeling like this is what is necessary to be seen as A Man (and pay no mind to what they means To Be A Woman). Bedding down with the miller’s wife just to enable the very brutal murder of her sons. Taking his frustration and powerlessness out on Kya sexually. And Kya still tries to escape with him (who else could have possibly helped her?), and he dwells on the ways in which he helped lead her to her death. Dwells on the boys whose bodies he hung on the walls. Dwells on the similarities between his own falling apart body and Jeyne’s bite marks and injuries from Ramsay. For me the next step is - Theon forced to see his own helplessness as a hostage of the Starks and then a captive of Ramsay’s when he confronts Sansa, who was a hostage of the Lannisters and [wild gesture] like the kept pet of Littlefinger’s. I think seeing his own suffering so acutely reflected in the girl he projected his idealistic fantasy of happiness and home onto would be fascinating!

And equally fascinating is Sansa’s perspective - I’m sure she WILL initially see his torture as some sort of cosmic retribution for betraying Robb! But the same as she ultimately only saw another child suffering when Joffrey died in front of her, I think she will see that whatever Theon deserves for what he’s done, being flayed and tortured by Ramsay is not retribution, it’s just more suffering. And once she starts to see past her anger, Sansa too I think will be quite disarmed by the similarities between them. To have been a hostage, to have been some sort of captive under an identity forced on you, to have that captor use his power to force sexual situations you are not asking for onto you, I think it would make Sansa wrestle more with her own place In The System - similar to how being a hostage makes her realize how fucked up her conception of knights and chivalry and court is when compared to the reality, seeing the effect she herself helped have as A Good Hostage Taker will make her reflect. Theon realizing Sansa is her own person with her own inner life and Sansa realizing the same about Theon!

Once again, its about what I talked about re: Sansa and Arya being the only Starks left in Winterfell or Sansa and Jon meeting first! To grow up and embrace adulthood by growing to appreciate the reality in front of you and not the fantasy you conjured up as a child. For Theon to love Sansa for who she is and wrestle with the REALITY of what marriage would be like - both in a sense that he’s physically traumatized & no longer “handsome” but also like, having lived through the concept of “They will make a STARK out of me” and thinking about what it means in the context of sex and relationships. For Sansa to love Theon for who he is and wrestle with the reality of, like, herself in the Lannister shoes in this position, and what being an heiress and marrying actually means for her going forward. Two people who are defined by their identities being eclipsed and overlooked, wrestling with whether they’re repeating that pattern on each other or actually healing and grieving and figuring out how to define themselves on their own and not against someone else.

[forestcat000]

Sooooo

This was a comment in response to me wanting an excuse to ramble about my Targaryen's survive AU so thank you @celerieth for this opportunity and thank you for the follow (:

Btw I am sorry to everyone who only follows me for aphmau content because I keep posting game of thrones stuff.

Warning, long post

So I've mentioned my AU and it's concept on my blogs before. The premise is basically all the Targaryen's survive the rebellion and kill the Baratheons, Starks, Arryns, and Tullys for their treason. Aerys remains king but I kinda stall his madness for the sake of story telling so Jaime does not kill him.

My fic starts at the same time as the Canon books except it basically only (so far) takes place in kingslanding. All the Targ kids (Aegon, Rhaenys, Daenerys, Viserys, Jon) get their own chapters, Rhaella and Elia, get them as well. Rhaegar is the only one so far without a chapter in progress.

The story mainly follows the more domestic drama and relationships between the characters so far, with everyone having to endure Aerys. But I do add in a lot of fluff for the Targ kids so it can be sweet.

Aegon is the picture perfect prince, smart, funny, kind, good looking but he has a few problems. Aegon has some pent up hatred towards Rhaegar for abandoning the family during the rebellion, this results in Aegon being more critical and distrustful of Rhaegar, viewing Rhaegar as mad for chasing a prophecy. This extra tension since Aegon is the child who Rhaegar views as the prince who was promised and thus pays extra unwanted attention to Aegon. Aegon is very close with his siblings, and mother, feeling extremely protective of them.

Rhaenys is an intelligent, witty, charming girl. Rhaenys shares Aegons feelings towards Rhaegar for the rebellion but she's much calmer and more lenient with Rhaegar, mainly because she doesn't talk to him often, he's distant and often in his head so neither cares enough to reach out. Rhaenys is loving towards her family and often tries to keep them in line, especially Daenerys. She has a slight rivalry with Daenerys but it's largely loving. She is the only one of her siblings in a relationship, she is secretly courting Willas Tyrell, heir to Highgarden.

Viserys is much nicer and calmer than in Canon since he never had to go through the trauma of being on the run and having his family die. Viserys is a loving older brother and uncle. He's a mama's boy, he tries his best to support his mother while she deals with the abuse at Aerys hand. He has a slightly odd relationship with Aerys. Aerys spared Viserys a lot of the abuse that the other family members suffered because Viserys is his favorite son, while he was saved from the physical and mental abuse he developed a guilt of sorts, feeling guilty that while his family is hurt he is safe. This guilt causes Viserys to be a bit protective and he tries to remove his family members from the area when Aerys get violent and loud.

Daenerys is reckless and chaotic but loving. She has a complicated relationship with her father. Aerys goes from doting on his daughter in every way to yelling and screaming at her at an instant, as a result Daenerys tends to avoid being around her father unless necessary. She's extremely close to Viserys with him being her safe person, kinda seeing him as a father or a caretaker more than a brother.

All the family members that have POVs are the main characters but Jon (Aemon in my rewrite) has the biggest one planned out. Jon is the last known member of the Stark family since he's Lyannas son. Jon is raised as something similar to a prisoner, being a symbol of the war and all the people the Targaryens demolished. Jon is antagonized by Aerys frequently to the point Jon loses sleep every night over the possibility of being murdered and having dreams of being burned alive by Aerys. He feels something similar to survivors guilt, believing he didn't deserve to live, and viewing his birth as the cause of the rebellion (will alaborate if needed)and as a result the cause of death of everyone who died in the rebellion, including all the Starks and his mother. Jon is extremely paranoid and fearful. Hes so paranoid that he went mute because he was scared of saying the wrong thing and being killed, his fear is intense that he can't talk if he tried, he created a mental block to stop him. he is rarely away from Aegon who he is close to, if Aegon is in a room Jon cannot go in he'll wait by the door for Aegon to come out. Jon is close with Rhaenys as well, often going to her for comfort.

That's base info, I know there's a lot, and that's just the stuff that I'm posting, I have pages of lore I'm waiting to implement.

If anyone is interested in any of this feel free to ask questions. Also thank you Celerieth.

[hchollym]

I saw your post about asoiaf character headcanons https://www.tumblr.com/hchollym/656295257177276416/who-are-some-of-your-head-cannons-for-characters and I’m begging for more Willas Tyrell headcanons! Anything you have! What is he into? You said he makes nerdy jokes. Whats his personality like?

How does he feel about the whole “potentially engaged to Sansa thing” and how did he feel when she was forced to marry Tyrion? (I cant imagine he would have been in love w her immediately if they married, bc she is 13 (3 years younger than Margery) and he is at least in his 24-27ish in current book canon)

It's been a while since I got an asoiaf ask, so this was fun! 😃

I'm sorry it took so long to respond though. 🙁

More Willas Tyrell Headcanons:

-He has brown curly hair and hazel eyes.

-He's definitely an introvert. He's very kind and genuine, and some people are drawn to that (like Oberyn), but he's not naturally charming or assertive, so he finds social situations a little more difficult to navigate.

-He enjoys astronomy (since he likes looking at the stars) and drawing/painting (since he drew pictures for Margaery when she was little).

-He's not great at expressing his feelings. He knows how to - he's very self-aware - but he has a tendency to hide his insecurities/sadness and keep things inside, because he already feels physically vulnerable due to his leg, and he's afraid to be emotionally vulnerable too.

-He loves all animals (including cats and dogs), and he always names them after historical figures.

-He can never admit it out loud (because he's a Tyrell), but he gets tired of the smell/sight of roses (they have far too strong of a floral scent). Because of this, he grows his own little garden of Iris Blue Rhythms (but he has it fenced off because they're toxic to dogs). These flowers are a pretty blue and lemon-scented (which is actually his favorite scent, because he loves how fresh it smells).

Headcanons About Willas' Thoughts on Sansa:

-I'm not sure he even knew about the plan until after it was ruined. Mace didn't know, and Olenna may very well have kept that secret close to her chest until after she arrived in King's Landing.

-Once he found out, he was definitely concerned by her age. Even by Westeros' standards, Sansa was still young for marriage, and since she was three years younger than Margaery (his baby sister), he saw her as a child.

-He protested an immediate wedding and argued for a long betrothal, and he only backed down when Margaery told him about the abuse Sansa suffered at Joffrey's hands. At that point, he realized that marrying her quickly was the only way to protect her, and he agreed because it was the chivalrous thing to do.

-He was horrified when he found out that she was married to Tyrion, because 1. Her age was still a factor, and he assumed that Tyrion would consummate the marriage; 2. Tyrion was a part of the family that killed Sansa's father, and he knew that would be traumatizing for her, especially because it meant that she would be stuck around the Lannisters for the rest of her life; and 3. He knew Sansa imagined a much "better" husband than a dwarf (and by Westeros' tradition, it was honestly an insult to marry her to Tyrion).

-He was also disappointed because he knew that Sansa was the best political match he could ever make, and even if she never loved him, he thought that she would at least enjoy Highgarden & he would keep her safe.

Thanks for the ask! 😊

[lives4lovesworld]

It's always assume that at the very least Sansa will i) out smart Petyr Bealish, ii) regain autonomy and her identity, that iii) in some way or form Petyr's tale will become true such as Sansa securing herself a marriage with Harrold Hardyng and her having such a strong influence on him that he will a) wage war for her 'birthright' or b) aid the North by providing goods, food and manpower. With the Vale enthusiastically doing his every bidding, simply because she is his wife and she asked him nicely/is so courteous and eloquent/he is so inlove with her/its profitable for the Vale.

In this meta I will list (and explain) the problems I have with these speculations that seem to be rooted in wishfullfilment rather than the probability of certain plots being likely to become canon, or if they are even feasible or realistic.

i) How Sansa is suppose to outsmart and overthrow Petyr Bealish, AND remain in power afterwards?

Petyr Bealish is the man that managed to crawl his way up to the ruling elite of Westeros, despite his incredibly (relatively speaking) low birth, lack of power, wealth, family or image (he does NOT fit the feudalistic standards of a man his positions). And yet, he remained in power through several civil wars that brought houses, dynasties and monarchs to fall. Petyr is the man with circa two decades of experiences and had no qualms of sacrificing countless souls, including his self-proclaimed "true love" and lives by this philosophy:

Always keep your foes confused. If they are never certain who you are or what you want, they cannot know what you are like to do next. Sometimes the best way to baffle them is to make moves that have no purpose, or even seem to work against you. - Sansa V, ASoS

Yet the one to supposedly bring him down is the thirteen year old girl that needed to witness her own father's decapitation for her rosa colored glasses to fall off. And this after she was present to her idol and her "love" ordering her direwolf's murder to mend their wounded pride! This is the same girl that is so quick to build her entire hopes and dreams upon strangers (that shows her a little bit of kindness and fit her conforming prejudices like Margaery and her circle did) and got carried away in her own dreamworld that she could not even follow conversations and plots, even in ASoS:

Sansa wrinkled her brow. "Our true purpose, my lady?" [...] "To see you safely wed, child," the old woman said, as Butterbumps bellowed out the old, old song, "to my grandson." [...] Wed to Ser Loras, oh . . . Sansa's breath caught in her throat. She remembered Ser Loras in his sparkling sapphire armor, tossing her a rose. Ser Loras in white silk, so pure, innocent, beautiful. The dimples at the corner of his mouth when he smiled. The sweetness of his laugh, the warmth of his hand. She could only imagine what it would be like to pull up his tunic and caress the smooth skin underneath, to stand on her toes and kiss him, to run her fingers through those thick brown curls and drown in his deep brown eyes. A flush crept up her neck. [...] "Would you like that, Sansa?" asked Margaery. "I've never had a sister, only brothers. Oh, please say yes, please say that you will consent to marry my brother."

The words came tumbling out of her. "Yes. I will. I would like that more than anything. To wed Ser Loras, to love him . . ."

"Loras?" Lady Olenna sounded annoyed. "Don't be foolish, child. Kingsguard never wed. Didn't they teach you anything in Winterfell? We were speaking of my grandson Willas. He is a bit old for you, to be sure, but a dear boy for all that. Not the least bit oafish, and heir to Highgarden besides."

Sansa felt dizzy; one instant her head was full of dreams of Loras, and the next they had all been snatched away. Willas? Willas? "I," she said stupidly. - Sansa I, ASoS

Some (very in favor for her) could argue there is some desperate small wiggle room here and there for insisting that Sansa has evolved (for the better). (While nonsensically insisting she at the same time is almost stupidly naive and "idealistic", but also these traits are not obstacles to her potentially rise to an autonomous player. No they make her all the better for it.) But even if she had a stellar development; How exactly is she with no true authority suppose to best a man like Petyr Bealish?

After ASoS, Sansa has become a disgraced orphaned female beggar, married to the enemy "Imp Kingslayer", and has become utterly dependent on Petyr Bealish as his natural born daughter, depriving all her limited autonomy and authority from him as Lord Consort.

Petyr Bealish has also managed to gain Sansa's compliance and ensure her loyalty and secrecy to him by filling her head with his wonderful tale of him as her benefactor that is going to gift her all her dreams, while reminding her of her status as wanted by the crown and making her a complice in the murder of her aunt and a participant in his scheme to poison SweetRobin Arryn.

Not to mention that Sansa has yet to express her wish to detach herself from Petyr (in her POV) in the first place, but as of TWoW's releases, Sansa seems pretty content with all the privilege (x, x, x) she has as his daughter. Nor does she not seem to have a problem in being his pawn:

The Merling King's returned to Gulltown, and old Oswell had some tales to tell."

She knew better than to ask what sort of tales. If Petyr had wanted her to know, he would have told her. - Alayne II, AFfC

And as said, even if she would want to due to her involvement in Petyr's schemes as well as her being wanted for kingslaying, she would risked death herself.

But let's assume for the sake of the argument that she does; what sansa would truly need are people to genuinely protect, stand by, believe and defend her in the Vale, and as of now there is no such one, especially after the death of her aunt.

And no, Lord Yohn Royce's question if he had already meet Alyane is NOT the same as actually recognizing Alayne as an older Sansa AND publicly voucing for her on behalf of her identity, despite her stans insisting otherwise. Yohn Royce (like all vale lords) did NOT fought for Robb Stark (Winterfell's heir with an northern army at this back and strong ties to Riverrun), which really does not bode well for the possibility of him fighting for her. And this knows even Sansa:

He will know me. How could he not? She considered throwing herself at his feet to beg for his protection. He never fought for Robb, why should he fight for me? The war is finished and Winterfell is fallen. - Alayne I, AFfC

At best (which would entail the Vale remains oblivious to her involvement in those schemes and have the lords of the Vale not sell her to the crown for the bounty) she would remain a "guest" to her cousin, and likely be married off to the next best suitor that befits her unfortunate status (as Lady Lannister)

ii) A believable explanation (any really) has yet to cross me as to HOW Sansa would (or even could) reclaim her identity without taking for granted that everything will work out in favor for her. 1) which would entail the majority of highborn lords in the Vale unquestionably believing Sansa that she, who was introduced to them as a bastard (which are seen by society as greedy and treacherous) of the Petyr Bealish (known for his schemes) is indeed Sansa Lannister, simply because she makes a teary proclaimation with her pretty Tully blue eyes. And 2) that the lack of a direwolf serving as proof will not be an obstacle 3) nor the lack of a relative voucing for her.

Infact her closest, most influential relative's death Lady Lysa's, which occurred while Sansa was supposedly already under her care as her lord husband's natural daughter will also not in any way, shape or form make them wary of her tale. Nor appear like an identity theft and poor attempt to grasp power for their own gain in the eyes of others.

Secondly, Sansa's very identity (the disowned female orphan to an overthrown House, married to the "Imp Kingslayer") does not allow her to be an autonomous player so many want her to be. Robb Stark and House Lannister saw to that. Nor would an identity reveal, even believed by everbody, give her more opportunities than the (relatively speaking) limited ones she already has as the current bastard daughter of Petyr.

iii) Petyr's tale (and why I believe it is just that and not a plan that will actually become canon);

When Robert dies, Harry the Heir becomes Lord Harrold, Defender of the Vale and Lord of the Eyrie. Jon Arryn's bannermen will never love me, nor our silly, shaking Robert, but they will love their Young Falcon . . . and when they come together for his wedding, and you come out with your long auburn hair, clad in a maiden's cloak of white and grey with a direwolf emblazoned on the back . . . why, every knight in the Vale will pledge his sword to win you back your birthright. So those are your gifts from me, my sweet Sansa . . . Harry, the Eyrie, and Winterfell. - Alayne II, AFfC

So Petyr Bealish has managed to match a marriage pact by buying all of Waynwood's debts, providing Lady Anya with an enormous dowery and because at this point Harrold Hardyng remains nothing but the son of the perished sister to Jon Arryn and a landed knight sworn to the Waynwoods. His relatively low status at the moment would allow such a "low" match with the bastard daughter of the disliked temporarily Lord Consort of the Vale. However, if SweetRobin truly dies and Harrold indeed becomes the Lord, all the reasons why "Alayne Stone" is unfit for Robert Arryn will apply for Harrold as well:

You are the Lord of the Eyrie and Defender of the Vale, and you must wed a highborn lady and father a son to sit in the High Hall of House Arryn after you are gone." Robert wiped his nose. "But I want —" She put a finger to his lips. "I know what you want, but it cannot be. I am no fit wife for you. I am bastard born." [...] Some call my father upjumped and ambitious. If you were to take me to wife, they would say that he made you do it, that it was no will of yours. The Lords Declarant might take arms against him once again, and he and I should both be put to death." [...] "You must have a proper wife, a trueborn maid of noble birth." - Alayne I, TWoW

Now Petyr Bealish's further step is to reveal Sansa's true identity on their supposed wedding, which would not solve the problem of the bride being unfit for a groom of such a caliber and it holds in and of itself many obstacles that prevent the very plan to unfold.

To start with; (as already said) should Harrold indeed become Lord Paramount he will be showed with marriage proposals by the ambitious feudal Houses of the Vale (as they were already courting widowed Lysa in AGoT) and its rather unlikely that they would grant that position to a "foreign" beggar (which Sansa would be either way, whenever she goes by her real name or by "Alayne Stone".) instead of trying to make one of their own daughters the next High Lady.

Secondly, the marriage pact entails "Alayne Stone", not Sansa Lannister. Petyr's plan to reveal Sansa's identity while she is walking down the aisle risks invalidating that very pact. And while the fandom refuse to acknowledge it, "Alayne" being revealed as Sansa would neither lessen the insult of the lie and betrayal by "Sansa Lannister" being more "attractive" as a political match. And no such a scheme would not simply brushed under the rug.

Yes, Sansa would be high born, but Harrold would get nothing politically speaking from their marriage given the position Sansa is in (as Lady Lannister). Neither will her previous marriage, especially to the House that the Vale believes has murdered their previous Paramount Lord make her more attractive. Whenever Tyrion might be believed dead or Sansa assures her virginity ten times, it more than likely that she would be seen as "sullied leavings" in the eyes of others.

Lysa Arryn likely only allowed a marriage between Sansa and her precious son, because she was her sister's daughter, and despite her flaws, their complicated relationship and her unstable mental state saw Sansa as family. And while Lysa mention Sansa's claim, (which will likely cease to exist as soon as Robb's Will becomes public knowledge) she also saw Sansa for what she was and reminded her of her position as well.

Petyr HIMSELF has pointed out how Sansa would bring nothing to any marriage (excluding her body):

"Joffrey is betrothed to Sansa Stark," Cersei objected.          "Marriage contracts can be broken. What advantage is there in wedding the king to the daughter of a dead traitor?"                 Littlefinger spoke up. "You might point out to His Grace that the Tyrells are much wealthier than the Starks, and that Margaery is said to be lovely . . . and beddable besides." [...]

Littlefinger agreed. "The Stark girl brings Joffrey nothing but her body, sweet as that may be. Margaery Tyrell brings fifty thousand swords and all the strength of Highgarden." - Tyrion VIII, ACoK   

And while Petyr has also mentioned Sansa's claim, it should mean little to nothing to Harrold considering that i) House Bolton has been installed as Warden of the North, ii) House Stark lays broken and it would have to re-establish itself as sovereign to the North. A bloody, tedious and costly task with little to no profit as the North is even under its best circumstances poor and hard to cultivate. As soon as iii) "Arya" is revealed as Jeyne Poole, it will even further slim the credibility of her identity reveal. iv) Her claim will be even further catapulted down in the line of succession with Rickon, Arya, Bran's impending reappearances. Not to mention that v) Jon will more than likely involve himself in the matter of succession as well and vi) Robb's Will will disinherited Sansa and make Jon his heir. (x)

And while most has yet to unfold on page, it would extremely OOC for Petyr Bealish (and the story!) to believe everything will work out in Sansa's favor and that Harrold will marry her out of his own volition, (which is indeed a condition in the marriage pact).

Much and more is made of his and Sansa's little playful banter at the tournament, yet what we know of Harrold's character, it's likely that he will pose the biggest threat to Petyr's little "plan".

Harrold is known for his high opinion of himself, his classism and that he has no qualms of fathering bastards on girls, he is infatuated for a brief time and then abandoning them as soon as he stops viewing them as sexually attractive. Petyr has also already stated that Harrold thinks Alayne is beneath him:

This betrothal was never [Harrold's] idea, and Bronze Yohn has no doubt warned him against my wiles. You are my daughter. He does not trust you, and he believes that you're beneath him." - Alayne I, TWoW

And it's not entirely unreasonable to think that Harrold would be insulted at the idea of marrying a girl whose virginity is questionable and who doesn't bring him any ties or wealth as Sansa Lannister. And the fact that she plans to use him and his position for her political gain will likely not make Harrold more sympathetic towards her.

The part hardest to dismantled because no matter from what angle you look upon it, it shouldn't be feasible to become canon;

. . . why, every knight in the Vale will pledge his sword to win you back your birthright. - Alayne II, AFfC

So Petyr supposedly plans to use Sansa's marriage to Harrold to mobilize the army of the Vale to reclaim Winterfell in the name of House Stark.

As already said (a dozen times) Sansa (as the orphan married beggar of an overthrown House) should NOT be able to secure the Lord of the Vale as her Lord husband in the first place. Realistically speaking, Sansa should only be able to match such a marriage if she and her family would still hold the same position as of the start of the series, but as we all know, this is NOT the case anymore. House Stark is neither the secure, ancient sovereign of the stable peaceful north nor is Sansa the indisputable maiden daughter of said family. Sansa should NOT be an attractive potential bride in the eyes of the Vale without House Stark retaking the North and it becoming politically attractive enough again for other kingdoms to be of interest and them voucing for her identity.

–> Thus Petyr's entire plan falls apart, before it can even truly begin.

But let's push this all aside for the sake of the argument: Even the concept of the entire Vale doing Sansa's bidding simply because she would be their Lord's newlyweded wife is absurd as well. Her aunt had been their Lady for seventeen years and they still did NOT view her as one of them nor as a authority figure;

Young Lord Hunter said, "Lysa Tully was never truly of the Vale, nor had she the right to dispose us." - Alayne I, AFfC

Also; Why would a girl's birth claim to an entire different region that is uttelry in shambles due to the political uproar after her family's fall from grace matter to Harrold or any Valeman?

If Sansa were to marry Harrold under normal circumstances (if House Stark was still in power and Sansa would have never been married off) what would be expected of her is to rule by his side (if Harrold is progressive enough to allow it) give him children and her place would be in the Eyrie or at the Gates of the Moon. As it would befit (and deem more than sufficient for) any high born daughter that has married into another Great House of Westeros.

Never once in the history of ASoIaF was there ever a High Lord that wage war against another kingdom because his wife wanted her father's seat as well. Nor was there a High Lady that held her father's lands AND was simountanastly the High Lady to an entire different kingdom as well. This would not even be feasible.

The question as to HOW a vale army, (a southern army!) would even reach the instabil (due to the already happening civil wars, the mass exodus of the Free Folk, the famine) war torn North given the lack of a fleet or the renewed impregnability of the Neck in the middle of winter also remains a big question mark.

However, let's brush this essential question aside as well; The assumption of the vale army conquering the North is absurd as well. GRRM has already empathized how a southern army is not fit for the North's harsh climate in ADwD with Stannis Baratheon's suicidal march, contrasting it with the marching mountain clans. Nor is Harrold (a "green" boy commander) likely to win against the seasoned ruthless Roose Bolton, which the lords of the Vale would surely know too. Another reason why the vale army would NOT simply do its new young untested Lord's bidding, if he were to call for war. Harrold will likely need a few years to prove and establish himself before the valemen will willingly follow him into battle, especially into a economically nonsensical war whose favors are against them from the beginning.

And while yes, someone could argue the vale army would be better rested and organized (than Stannis's measly beaten ragtag of an army) and therefore have better chances, even in the best case scenario the vale army would likely lose most of their men in the battles against House Bolton and its banners for a gigantic region that brings them nothing; no wealth, no man power, no minerals, no goods, no trade.

All these points listed above, together with GRRM's comment on how Petyr would never give up Sansa, Petyr's wish to marry her himself (when she was Sansa Stark) and the fact that it would be incredibly stupid of him to ever allow Sansa to detach herself from him (as it would put him at risk due to her knowing so many of his crimes) further marks Petyr's tale in Alayne II, AFfC as a tale to ensure Sansa's compliance and nothing more IMO. Not to mention, which author would tell his audience the plot of a character word-for-word in dialog beforehand?

Now, some believe that instead of waging war Sansa will influence Harrold to aid the North by providing goods, food and manpower, which (fair enough) is only an ounce more feasible than the alternative. Yet, it is still something NOT supported by the books;

For this to happen, Sansa would first need to grasp the gravity of the famine that is plaguing Westeros, and care enough about the (common) people's wellfare.

Which she does not given the fact that she cannot fathom why the commoners love Margaery and as of her last chapter has her organizing a feast with 64 dishes in the middle of winter, amongst these dishes even a 6 feet tall lemon cake that required every lemon in the Vale with her being very proud of herself. Nor does she have any reaction whatsoever to Petyr's plan to cutting the food supply and hoarding food as war tactic, which would hit the common folk the hardest. Not to mention that Sansa's POV never showed her really thinking about... really anything happening in the North (especially its people), neither prior nor post House Stark's fall.

So beside all that, it would also requires the Vale to suddenly become altruistic and humanitarian, given that all possible supplies send by them would essentially all be gifts since foreseeable payment is unlikely given the north's state.

Some even have the idea of Sansa somehow achieving it all in another way on her own (because they hate the idea of Sansa marrying Harrold) (which is even less likely than Petyr turning into her Santa Claus) and exaggerated the potential influence her skills have even more. But has @brideoffires already perfectly explained in her post Sansa has NOT evolved in terms of learning new skills (unlike Arya) and more importantly none of the political plot in the Vale is moved forward through her own knowledge or scheming.

It's all propelled forward and catalyzed by her relationship with Petyr Baelish. [...] As in King’s Landing, Sansa is /being/ moved by the machinations of other people and being induced or compelled to act in certain ways because of the politics around her. - excerpt from @brideoffires linked post

Her particular skillset can only be of use and influential if the priori are Sansa already having strong ties to political thriving male relatives or/and a husband. Otherwise her skillset are not of use as GRRM has already shown throughout the whole series; Sansa can be as charming, courteous and polite as she wants to be, it does not give her agency, protection, support or power.

There is so much unrealistic, unreasonable, OOC nonsense, no one would even dare to suggest if it would be any other character, already taken for granted because it's Sansa. Sansa is always the expection. As always, everything will work out in Sansa's favor.

So why is it that even the ones critical of Sansa believe it all becomes canon anyway, one way or another? The most popular arguments I have seen are the proclaimnation that Petyr Bealish is Sansa's personal antagonist and therefore their "arc" simply MUST conclude with her triumphant. There is no other way.

The other is that SOMEONE has to get the Vale involved in the affairs of the realm, SOMEONE has to mobilize the resourceful Vale for the War of the Dawn and to aid the North's etc... And Sansa is the POV character located in the Vale so logic says GRRM MUST plan for her to be this SOMEONE to accomplish these tasks.

An entirely different reason is the fandom's climate; Basically Arya, Bran and Jon fans seem to concede Sansa these gigantic convoluted unrealistic plots (= a triumphant vale arc) in hopes that her fanbase will do the bare minimum of NOT butchering the story's integrity and the ones of their favs by not stealing their individual importance, relationships, ties, skills and arcs in the North to give Sansa a place in the northern plots (which her fans insist on having).

In conclusion; these reasonings are infuriating and incredibly offensive to the story's integrity and Sansa as a character. And more importantly, this fandom should stop offering to concede and tolerate it all simply because her fanbase is just that incredibly wild.

[esther-dot]

BNF will dissect each interaction or thought regarding Sansan to look the underneath meaning behind them. Despite writer is much more clear about their role and show how much Hound abused Sansa. BNF has no problem in shipping Willas and Harry with Sansa. Even when Willas never appear in books or met Sansa. And Harry appear in only one chapter in TWOW still people are expecting him to be Lord of Vale. Yet thinking that Jon and Sansa could be potential couple they feel it's crackship or people shipping them are delusional. Sansa being home safe and queen is absurd to them.

It is very, very amusing which ships are considered canon or noncanon by the fandom, and how, to them, certain things like say, verbal abuse, threats of violence, attempted rape, aren't an issue for a potential romantic relationship, but cousin marriage (in a story in which cousin marriage is unremarkable) is forbidden.

I think perhaps the problem is, we have read the story so differently, we look at the relationships / potential relationships in incompatible ways. For Jonsas, we look at this quote:

Sansa stared hard at his ugly face, remembering how he had thrown down her father for Ser Ilyn to behead, wishing she could hurt him, wishing that some hero would throw him down and cut off his head. But a voice inside her whispered, There are no heroes, and she remembered what Lord Petyr had said to her, here in this very hall. "Life is not a song, sweetling," he'd told her. "You may learn that one day to your sorrow." In life, the monsters win, she told herself, and now it was the Hound's voice she heard, a cold rasp, metal on stone. "Save yourself some pain, girl, and give him what he wants." (AGOT, Sansa VI)

and we think Sansa's story isn't that she should listen to the men who abuse and molest her. We think, that despite the horrors she faces, her belief in knights and heroes is already being validated by Jon and Brienne, that it is only a matter of time before her despair, "no one will ever marry me for love" will be answered by someone who does love her.

That conclusion means that men who marry her to rise to power, men who molest her, insult her, attempt to rape her, men who want her to give in and give up, that they can't be the canon romantic pairing Martin has for her, because for one of them to be, is contrary to the story he is writing. The monsters will not win.

Some of us ship Jonsa for funzies and don’t think it was ever going to be canon (books or show), but for others of us, Jonsa is meant to happen to allow Martin to end the sentence he began in AGOT.

There are heroes, there are true knights, Sansa will be loved.

Jon beheaded Slynt, Brienne exists, we've have reason to be optimistic!

As for the rest of it, there are Sansa fans and Jonsas who don't think she will be queen, but calling people delusional for believing she will end up in Winterfell when we have a prophecy about her ending LF there...I don't see the point in denying it. Most of us would be thrilled with KitN Rickon, so you can’t even argue her being queen is wishful thinking on our part. It isn’t necessarily anyone’s dream ending, it’s just the ending some of us think Martin is heading towards. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #68: GOT, but make it bastards and broken things

Sometimes I have terrible fic ideas. Sometimes terrible fic ideas have me - such as this one, which crawled into my head the other day and has yet to let go. Mainly: what if Game of Thrones leaned into the cripples, bastards, and broken things motif?

Or: What if Tyrion Lannister and f!Jon Snow formed a marriage of convenience?

Aka: The Red Queen Fic

Just imagine it:

Everything happens as per canon, with two exceptions: 1) Lyanna Stark dies giving birth to a daughter whose "beauty matured as she grew older, and its was said that she was more beautiful at age seventy than at age seventeen" [x], who Ned named Rowena after Jon Arryn's second wife; and 2) The Greyjoy Rebellion takes place immediately before Robert heads north.

Things go slightly differently in the Greyjoy Rebellion. Everyone is a little older, reflexes are a little slower, and everyone has been on peacetime footing for just that much longer. Tywin Lannister dies in the fighting, with the Lord Paramountcy of the Westerlands falling to Tyrion. Theon Greyjoy dies alongside his brothers; his sister becomes Ned's ward instead.

Meanwhile, Jon Arryn has died of apparent old age back in King's Landing, so Robert choses to ride from war in the west straight to Winterfell, so Ned can wrap up a few things before being dragged back to the capitol as Hand. Tyrion is dragged along.

While there, Tyrion encounters awkward, angular, but strangely charismatic Rowena Snow in the library. They do not expect to hit it off, but they do, finding a genuine friendship and understanding in each other. It is not love, but it is enough.

As Lord Paramount of the Westerlands, Tyrion needs a bride - and he was already turned down by most of the eligible families of rank while he was still heir. So rather than trod a well-known path, he proposes marriage to Rowena, who is at least tolerable and believed to be the bastard of Ned Stark and Ashara Dayne.

Rowena, realizing it's the best offer she'll ever get, agrees, and eventually convinces Ned to do so as well. After all, there's nothing a Lannister protects more fiercely than another lion.

Canon continues apace. Ned loses his head, war is declared, and Cersei can make very few open moves against her sister-in-law - who is, after all, a Lannister now - or Sansa - a hostage, yes, but under Rowena's protection. The latter still isn't having a good time, but at least she's not being beaten in open court. (Eventually Rowena does manage to get Sansa married off to Willas Tyrell, securing the Reach and her sister's safety.)

The Red Wedding happens, though it is planned entirely by the Freys and Cersei herself, who thinks Tyrion is too weak to do what must be done. No one is pleased.

The Purple Wedding happens. Tyrion and Rowena manage to avoid suspicion by missing the event entirely, the latter being confined to childbed as she labored with their first child, Joanna - though Cersei still tries to point fingers at them anyway. Few believe her.

Cersei's actions grow wilder while Tommen is king... to the point where Rowena and Tyrion realize if they don't act soon riots and revolts will act for them. So they stage a palace coup.

Tyrion, in addition to being Hand of the King, is Regent after the coup. He sits in the small council in the first of these roles and has Rowena sit in his place for the second. They manage to stabilize most of mainland Westeros - Tyrion strengthens ties with Dorne, despite the suspicious death of his niece; Rowena heads to the Vale, replaces Lysa Arryn and Littlefinger with Bronze Yohn, and sends Robert Arryn to be fostered with Sansa and Willas; forces loyal to Tyrion liberate Edmure Tully from the Twins and install him back in Riverrun - but the North and Iron Islands are still a mess when winter descends.

Margery dies of a winter sickness. Tommen goes mad with grief. He kills himself soon after... and Tyrion, his regent, is left as King of Westeros.

It should be a recipe for more revolts and uprisings - after all, it was bad enough a dwarf married to a bastard was Regent, let alone Hand of the King - but Westeros is tired of war. It's now the middle of the longest winter ever recorded, and rather than hoard food Tyrion does his best to distribute it evenly throughout the country. He makes concessions. He rules, allows widows and heiresses and young children to keep control of family estates, fills empty castles with good men rather than cronies, and generally acts like a decent king. It's a nice change of pace for a country so familiar with Targaryen drama.

Eventually word comes spilling out of the war-torn North about the Others. Rowena, being the fighter of the new royal couple, leads a force north and eventually defeats them, less through individual martial prowess than decent leadership and fresh troops

When Dany arrives after winter is over to stake her claim, few wish to join her. She harries Westeros from the Stepstones for a few years, but when she dies under suspicious circumstances - probably an assassination, but she had so many enemies at that point no one can say which got to her - her dragons take up residence on Dragonstone of their own accord, seemingly giving their allegiance to the new dynasty.

Bonuses include: 1) Later historians endlessly debating whether or not Tyrion was the bastard son of the Mad King. The evidence should be circumstantial but convincing and include his children's appearance. A few will try claiming Rowena was the daughter of a dragonseed - maybe even Rhaegar himself - but are less well received; 2) Rowena gaining her moniker Red Queen from her habit of wearing primarily Lannister Red after her marriage - and for occasionally becoming drenched in the blood of her enemies, as when removing Littlefinger from power in the Eyrie; 3) Tyrion and Rowena's marriage being one primarily of friendship. It should take at least a year - possibly closer to three - for them to feel genuine romantic love for each other. It should, however, be the ideal medieval noble marriage, filled with fondness and respect, even from the beginning; and 4) Cersei fading away into obscurity. She's never outright harmed or neglected or even strictly imprisoned, she merely retires to a strict motherhouse from which escape is unlikely if not impossible and fades from history. Her name, for all it is connected for four kings by blood and marriage, is largely forgotten by even those familiar with the time period in favor of Robert's first love, Lyanna, and Tyrion's reserved but unendlessly capable queen, Rowena.

And that's all I have. As always, feel free to adopt, just link back if you do anything with it.

Other Jon Snow Headcanons: Aelor the Accursed | Aegon the Adopted | Aegon the Undying | Aegon the Unyielding | Aemon the Adventurous | Baelor the Brave | Bastard of Winterfell | Daemon the Destroyer | Daena the Dreamer | Daeron the Desired | Dyanna the Defiant | Elia the Magnificent | Jon the Fair | Jon Whitefyre | King of the Ashes | Lady Arryn | Lady Baratheon | Lady Lannister | Lady Stark | Lord of the Dance | Prince Consort | Prince of Summerhall | Queen Mother | Queen of Nightingales | Red Queen | Rhaegar the Righteous | River Queen | Shiera Snowbird | Visneya the Victorious

More Terrible Fic Ideas

[ofmermaidstories]

mermie re: that head canon chart, you are always writing characters so wonderfully that you can't even see the seam between your stories and canon 😌🩷✨️

-willer 🌱🌱🌱

well well well. would u look at that, willa, there’s something here for u:

[dancingtotuyo]

13. with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

Woman | Joel Miller X Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: you adjust to life with a newborn. Joel finally gets to tell you something

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed. Spoilerish for TLOU 2

Chapter Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, smidges of angst

Notes: And thus we enter the third and final part of this beloved story. This chapter starts to play with some of the canon of TLOU II as will the rest of Part III

As always, a huge shout out to@janaispunk for beta reading.

If you have checked out Before, I would encourage you to do so for more backstory on our dear reader!

Words: 3642

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

Three Years Later

Willa sits at the kitchen table, chin resting in her palms as she stares out the window. It’s cracked open, allowing the chilly fall breeze in as it plays with the dark curls on her head. She’s been there since breakfast, kicking her legs in thoughtful silence with a stack of untouched art supplies at her side. 

You’ve never seen her so still or quiet, keeping an eye on her as you bustle around the house, cleaning and preparing for Joel’s birthday dinner. This is the first year he’s really allowed you to celebrate it. You’ve done small things in the past. A cake after dinner. A small wrapped gift. It’s a hard day for everyone. It’s the day that life as everyone knew it ended, but you have reason to celebrate. He’s growing older, an accomplishment in its own right, the gray in his hair beginning to take over the brown. You like it. It means he’s still here. 

Willa is still kicking her feet at the table when your stomach growls. The clock on the wall reads just after twelve. Carter is at school. Joel has assignments until dinner time. You fix two sandwiches and slice some veggies. You set a plate in front of Willa and then slide into the chair across from her. 

She lets out a deep sigh that seems too big for her small frame to hold. A smile edges at your lips. “What’s wrong, Sweetpea?”

“I don’t know what to make daddy.”

“For his birthday?”

She nods. 

“That’s what you’ve been thinking about all day?” 

“Yeah.”

You smile assuringly at her. “You should eat. It always helps me when I can’t think.”

She lets out another sigh, but picks up the jelly sandwich you made her. Her lips smack as the jelly oozes out of the sides, sticking to her fingers and leaving pink smudges along her cheeks. Willa appears unbothered by it, head nodding back and forth as she eats. 

You manage through most of the meal without intervening until she goes to push back her hair with a jelly soaked hand. “Whoah Whoah Whoah!” You’re out of your seat, grabbing her wrist in the nick of time. She looks almost startled. “Your hand is covered in jelly. I don’t want it to get into your hair.” 

“Oops,” she smiles. “Sorry, Mommy.”

“It’s okay,” You sigh, reaching for the dish cloth in the kitchen sink. The last thing you need to do is work jelly out of a three year old’s hair. “What kind of cake should I bake for Daddy’s birthday?” 

“Chocolate,” Willa grins as you wipe down her hands and mouth.

“That’s your favorite,” you chuckle. 

“Daddy likes it too.”

“Chocolate it is then.” You kiss her cheek. 

She beams up at you and then a light bulb goes off in her eyes and she quickly digs into the meager art supplies you’ve collected over the last several years. You watch her for a few short moments as she bustles forth with clear determination. Then, you bake a birthday cake. 

Midway through, you exit to the living room, only to set the needle on the record player. When you return, Willa’s head bounces back and forth in time as she hums the words she’s already memorized. 

As she finishes her project, Willa jumps down, scurrying out of the room in a flash. You smile to yourself. 

Carter bustles in, throwing his backpack onto the floor with a thud. “Are you denting the walls again?”

His face appears around the corner with a lopsided grin you’d seen on Gabe a thousand times. The ache is dull in comparison to the joy it brings you. “That only happened once.”

You wink at him, tossing him an apple. He catches it with ease, the product of countless hours he and Joel spent outside with a baseball and tattered gloves. 

“How was school?” You smile. 

“Good.” He bites into the apple with a satisfying crunch, before standing on his tiptoes to kiss your cheek. You lean over to close the gap, but it’s admittedly not as large of a gap as it used to be. He’s growing faster than you like.

“Just good?”

He nods, mouth full of apple, but chooses to speak anyway. “I saw Ellie. I invited her tonight.”

You keep your face neutral, far experienced now in keeping the war between Ellie and Joel from your younger children. “What did she say?”

“Maybe.” 

Your eyebrow raises. You can’t keep the hints of surprise from your face, but you’re saved from having to make a response. 

“Carter!” Willa rushes in, out of breath and in a flutter like the world might stop at any second. She pushes her hair out of her face. You really wish she’d keep the hair ties in, but she says it pulls her head. Your daughter meets her brother’s eyes with a serious weight in her eyes. “I need your help.”

“With what?”

She glances at you, like she's not sure you can keep the secret swirling in her little mind. “Daddy’s birthday present.”

“Okay,” Carter shrugs. Willa rushes out in the same flurry with Carter following. 

“Don’t leave the apple core in your sister’s room!” You call after them with only the slam of Willa’s door in response. 

As far as baking cakes, well, it wasn’t your strong suit before the world ended, but you manage. You’ve never received a complaint from the kids, but you know they prefer Maria’s cake to yours. You should have asked her. You slide the iced cake into the fridge just as Joel arrives home. 

“There’s the birthday boy.”

There’s a deep chuckle in response. “The house is suspiciously quiet.”

“Your children are up to no good. I’m sure.”

“My children, you say?” His sturdy arms wrap around your middle and you lean back. “What they do?” His lips play behind your ear. 

“Not sure. They’ve been shut up in Willa’s room for over an hour.”

Joel chuckles. “Perhaps they’re forming a mutiny.”

“I hope not. We’re getting too old for that.” 

“Might just let them take over. Then we could live out our days in peace. Prop our feet up while they get to work.”

You hum softly. “Doesn’t sound half bad.”

“That’s what happens when you get old,” he kisses your cheek. 

“Are you calling me old, Joel Miller?”

“You’re almost 50, Sweetheart. You’re about to join the ranks. I’m just preparing you.”

“I’ve already got the achy back and creaking knees.”

Joel chuckles. “Guess I got to throw you a birthday party too.”

“I think we can just skip that.”

Joel clicks his tongue. “No, we’re gonna celebrate. We’re gonna start doing alot more celebratin.”

“We haven’t even had your birthday party and you want more?” you can’t contain the laughter rising in your chest. 

There’s a deep sense of rightness in this moment. The fears you harbored for so long, melting away with each year that is passed. It’s not completely gone by any means, but it doesn’t keep you from living anymore, embracing what you have. 

He nuzzles into your neck, his scruff scratching softly against your skin. You’ve both aged these past couple of years, be it biology or the two young kids you’re raising, but you see it in yourself now too when you look in the mirror, the way the wrinkles cut deeper into your forehead and around your eyes. And maybe, you’d had a harder time accepting the gray hairs that seemed to multiply each day than you wanted to admit, but you embrace it now. You embrace all signs of aging. Aging is a good thing. 

“I think we should start celebrating everything.”

“Are you having a midlife crisis?”

“Think it’s a little late for midlife… What’s after that?”

You shift a bit in his arms, trying not to dwell on the first thought that that pops into your mind. “I think midlife works.” 

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Joel grins. “It’s not a midlife crisis.”

You hum, a look on your face that says, yeah, sure, okay. 

He laughs in response. “I’m gonna go shower. Doesn’t sound like the kids will let me in to say hi.”

“The door is probably barricaded.”

“Shower it is,” Joel smiles, giving you one last kiss before the stairs creak with his weight. 

Dinner is all but ready, and the kids are still locked in Willa’s room when Joel comes down the stairs. His hair hangs in damp ringlets, longer than he’s let it get before. You have to admit that you’re liking the extra length. 

“Can you go tell the kids they need to come set the table?”

“Time to bring down the barricades, got it.” Joel winks at you. 

You can hear the commotion down the hall, Willa yelling that Joel is not to come in. The back and forth of getting the kids to agree on coming out. Joel’s grunt as Willa inevitably jumps into his arms with zero warning. It’s all familiar and warming. It fills your home with love. 

The kids scurry out. Joel aids Willa in fishing out the silverware while Carter grabs out the plates. Another well rehearsed dance. A slice of normalcy Joel never imagined he’d get again in this lifetime. 

He’s pulling glasses out of the cabinet Carter can’t reach yet when there’s a knock on the door. Joel looks at you questioningly. Tommy and Maria never knock. You shrug. 

Ellie’s nervous face and Dina’s smile greet him when he opens the first door. Joel’s heart leaps in his chest as his jaw drops slightly. “Ellie… hi.”

“Hi.”

“Happy Birthday, Joel,” Dina smiles. 

“Thanks, Dina.” Joel nods but quickly returns his eyes to Ellie. “Thanks for coming.”

She forces her lips into a tight line. “Carter invited me.”

“Still glad you came.” Joel still seems a little bit stunned. “Why don’t the two of you come on in?” He steps aside. Ellie refuses to meet his eyes. Dina pulls her inside. 

He stays by the door, overhearing the surprise in your voice when you spot Ellie. Carter and Willa’s joy at having her here. His heart aches. It always does when he thinks about the distance between them, but she came. That has to be a good sign. 

“I see we got the welcoming committee tonight,” Tommy says as he walks into view, hand in hand with Maria. Elias darts forward, narrowly brushing past Joel. 

“Happy birthday, Uncle Joel!” He says without stopping, more focused on finding his cousins than bothering with his uncle. 

Joel chuckles, accepting Tommy’s hug as he approaches. “I see where I fall on his list of priorities.”

“You’d think he didn’t just see Carter at school.” Maria laughs, offering her own greeting to Joel. 

“Thank you for coming.”

“When do we not show up?” Tommy grins as the three of them make their way inside.

Carter and Willa have already added the extra place settings for Ellie and Dina. Carter slides right next to Ellie, making conversation about the moon and constellations. Joel slides into his chair at the end of the table. You catch the way he looks at Ellie. The way she expertly avoids him. You’re not sure how she does it, seemingly present but expertly able to avoid any and all conversation with Joel. Tommy and Maria’s presence seems to make it easier.

You knew what he did hurt, you just never expected the two of them to go this long in limbo, orbiting each other round in round, never coming to a resolution. As much as Joel looks like someone totaled his pickup and shot his dog when he glances her way, he still manages to enjoy the night. Ellie being here, whether she talks to him or not, is the greatest gift he could have asked for.  

You take his hand, squeezing it gently. He presses it to his lips, winking at you playfully. The balancing act can be tiring, but he’s simply happy tonight. 

You’re not offended when the cake on the plate of the adults remains mostly uneaten. The cake is dense and dried out. The kids don’t seem to mind.

“Can we do presents now?” Willa asks, frosting sticking to her face in multiple places. You can only imagine how sticky her fingers are. 

“Wash your hands first,” you say.

Willa nods, sliding out of her seat and rushing out of the room. 

“Can I get anyone anything to drink? Water? Tea?”

“Coffee?” Joel grins. You have been able to rangle up beans each year for his birthday, except for this year. 

You shake your head. “Unfortunately, not this year.”

“No coffee? That’s it, party’s over folks.” He playfully hits the table with his palms, winking at you. 

He receives a smack to the back of the head, and a deep chuckle greets your ears. You smile, setting the kettle on the stove. He’s happy and relaxed, bubbling over with a calm joy, pure and untarnished. You like this side of him. It’s like a piece of the first version of Joel you knew. The same laughter and smile Sarah pulled from him long before the world dug its ugly claws into either of you. It’s only become more common in your home over the years. 

Maria joins you as you start to wash up a few dishes while you wait for the kettle to boil. Both of you watch the table with keen eyes as your family sits around it, complete for once. Joel and Tommy chat about their patrols. There’s been an uptick in infected. They’re worried about a colony coming in. Dina and Ellie engage with the boys at the other end of the table, some debate about what happened at kickball last week. 

“You better not be washing dishes, Sweetheart. That’s my job,” Joel says. 

“It’s your birthday.” 

Joel raises an eyebrow at you. “You cooked, and baked a cake.”

“More like attempted,” Tommy teases. You stick your tongue out at him like the mature 49 year old woman you are. 

Once the team is ready, you set a mug in front of Joel. He thanks you before his brow furrows. “That’s not my mug.”

You know he’s talking about the owl mug, the one you push to the back of the cabinet because you think it looks at you funny. “No, it’s your new mug,” You smile. “Happy birthday.”

Joel picks it up, inspecting it closer. It’s slightly faded but otherwise in pristine condition. Two fawns frolic against the picturesque forest that’s delicately painted along the outside. His eyes narrow slightly at you, a playful volley of looks and unspoken words passing between you. 

Joel chuckles, stealing a chaste kiss from your lips. “Thank you.”

“You can use the owl one when I’m not around.”

“So never then?” 

“I mean, ideally, yes.” 

“As sweet as this is,” Tommy says, interrupting the two of you. “I’m afraid we came empty handed.”

Joel rolls his eyes. “Wouldn’t expect anything less. Besides, I’ve got everything I need right here.” He looks around the table that includes everyone in the world he loves, aside from Willa who is still busy cleaning herself up. 

“You’re going soft in your old age,” Tommy smacks his brother on the back. 

Joel shrugs. “Happens to the best of us I guess.”

“Daddy! I’m ready!” Willa calls, bursting into the room, small package clutched in her hands as she rushes to his side.

Joel picks her up with a slight groan, setting her on his lap. “I’m ready, Wildflower.”

She laughs, handing him the box as she pushes her curls from her face. “Carter helped too.”

“I’m excited to see what it is,” Joel smiles, attention solely split between his children as he carefully opens the box. 

He’s confused at first, pulling the delicate construction from its box, some combination of paper and old cardboard carefully put together. It takes a second, but then he registers the small arrows fastened into a minute and hour hand against the background. Carter’s oversized numbers unevenly circled around in one to twelve. 

“It’s a new watch,” Willa grins brightly. “Cause yours is broken.” She lifts his wrist as if to show him the broken watch for the first time. 

You catch the shine in Joel’s eyes and the bobble of his throat. “Thank you. It’s a very nice watch.”

“It latches too,” Carter chimes. “So you can actually wear it.”

Joel inspects it further, seeing where the kids had carefully cut holes in the band and managed to create a fasten. 

“Mommy can help you,” Willa says. 

You smile, leaning forward to fasten it to Joel’s wrist, right above his first watch, the one Sarah fixed for him. You’re careful not to break it. It’s not the most secure thing in the world, but Joel beams with pride as he shows it to Tommy and Maria. 

“Do you like it?” Willa asks. 

“I love it.” Joel smiles, squeezing his daughter tight. 

Joel falls beside you on the couch with a content sigh, letting his head fall back and his arm across your shoulders as he does. You smile, leaning into him. “You enjoy your birthday?”

“I’m getting too old. Reading that book about put me to sleep.” 

You laugh, pulling a blanket around your shoulders to stave off the cool air that drifts in through the cracked window behind you. “It’s a good thing I like you old.”

Joel hums, kissing your forehead softly. “Thank you for doing so much today.”

“It’s not like I don’t cook dinner most nights.”

“You baked a cake.”

You snort. “Attempted to make a cake.” 

“Wouldn’t be the first birthday where you messed up the cake.”

You groan, images of the cake you and Sarah attempted to bake for Joel’s 30th birthday flashing in your memory. It had looked nice enough, but tasted like baking soda. Joel chuckles. 

“Well,” You let out a soft sigh, holding back the smile that bites at your lips. “Guess it’s a good thing I have a back up plan.”

Joel’s brow creases. “Back up plan?”

“You are getting old,” you tease, your own mouth watering at the subtle cinnamon tinged air. “I thought you would have smelled it by now.”

Joel stops a second, paying extra attention to his senses. His lips tip up almost immediately as he clocks it. “Is that…”

“My mom’s peach pie.” You grin. Her peach pie filling had been legendary on the block and she’d passed along the recipe early on in your life. You made it each year as the peaches ripened, but you had taken care to freeze extra filling for Joel’s birthday this year. “You really expect me to bake a cake without a back up plan?”

Joel laughs again. “I love you.”

“Only for the peach pie.”

“Well duh.” He pulls you closer, leaving a sweet kiss on your lips. 

You laugh, returning the kiss. “It’ll be ready in about 20 minutes.”

“Perfect… enough time for me to give you something.” Joel reaches down, grabbing a flat package, wrapping in a cloth from under the couch.

“But it’s your birthday.”

“And I like seeing you happy.”

You roll your eyes as he places the thin, square gift in your hands. Your brow knits together as you pull the wrap from it. White corners catch your eye and with two men standing in a doorway. Fleetwood Mac reads centered above them.  A small gasp leaves your mouth. You haven’t heard this album in years. Your grandma’s copy had been badly scratched and warped before the outbreak and no one in Jackson seemed to own a copy. 

“Finally found that the other day. I haven’t played it yet, so I’m not sure about the condition- but it looked like it hadn’t warped too badly.”

“Turn it on.” You grin brightly, eagerly putting it back into Joel’s hands. Your body thrums with excitement. The songs you haven't heard in so long play in the back of your mind as Joel pulls the vinyl record from the sleeve and places it on the old record player in the corner of your living room. 

Static fills the speakers at the needle drops. You both wait with baited breath for the music to start. Monday Morning plays starts without warning, causing you to both jump slightly. A laugh tumbles from your mouth, eyes sparkling with joy as they meet Joel’s. He’s got a similiar joyful expression. 

“It’s much more lively than your version,” you say. You haven’t heard the recorded version in over two decades though Joel’s rendition is still a constant in your home. Willa calls it her song. 

Joel laughs, walking back over to you. “I doubt Willa will even recognize it.” He holds out his hand. “Come on.”

Your brow knits together as you take his hand. He tugs you to your feet. You secure the blanket around your shoulders as Joel leads you toward the front door and onto the porch. The cool September air greets you. The music filters through the open windows as the opening track fades into the smooth opening of Warm Ways.

“What are you doing?”

”Dancin.” He grins wrapping his arms around you as he begins to sway. 

You lean into his embrace, warm between the blanket on your shoulders and his torso against yours, head resting on his shoulder. You sway to the music, eyes closed. Joel’s head rests against yours, his chest rumbles gently as he hums along to the melody, lulling you as close to bliss as you think you’ve ever been. 

You nuzzle further into his neck. “I love you, Joel.”

He smiles, kissing your cheek. Both your eyes stay shut, relishing in the touch of the other. “Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that, Sweetheart.”

“Good.”

Taglist: @pedrotonin @amyispxnk @joeldjarin @ilovepedro @justagalwhowrites

@missladym1981 @jessthebaker @annieispunk @ashleyfilm @moel-jiller

@eloquentdreamer @lizzie-cakes @hiroikegawa @tobethlehem

[queenlua]

i tend to do a thing, when i'm reading for fun, when i kind of like... selectively remember only what parts are good? what aspects work for me? etc?

this is basically fine and good, right, it's for FUN, whatever

but it sometimes leads to this thing where i give someone a book rec and they come back a few weeks later and are like "lua. lua what the fuck." and mention some MASSIVE issue the book had that... sure is real, now that they mention it! a better recommender than me would probably at least forewarn that! but my honest justification is "oh i just sort of. edited that out. while i was reading it. enjoying the ride you know" and they're kind of tilting their head like wtf do you mean just EDIT OUT SOLIDLY 50% OF THE CONTENTS MENTALLY AS YOU GO

i know for a fact that i inherited this trait from my mother, who once recommended "the sculptor's funeral" to my father, and when he came back like "wow that was a good story but boy it's so sad" my mom simply did not understand what he was talking about. and when she went back to reread it she realized, oh, the ending was sad so she just made up a better ending. in her head. and did such a good job she completely forgot Willa Cather's actual canon and that sound is poor Willa rolling around in her grave

but yeah i feel like i should add this disclaimer around all my book recs in the future lol

[findroleplay]

hi there! i'm eliza (she/her) & at the moment i'm craving either some harry potter, asoiaf, or some hunger games rp. it's like its 2013 again! i'm 25+ (sigh!) so unwilling to write with anyone under 21 under any circumstances, and I write on discord, generally on private servers.

i like to double up in terms of canons - if i write your preferred canon, it would be great if you could write mine - and if we do mxf ships I prefer to double up on those too. I am comfortable writing all genders and dynamics, I just find that having two ships means we both have equal investment! in terms of ocs I have noted a couple of oc scenarios I would like to explore, but in general I prefer to stick faiiiirly close to canons.

i am definitely a 2-3 paragraphs type of writer and i love to ramble on about our characters, novel/novella style!

below i have listed a ships i'm craving, with my preferred role in bold*, as well as some canons I just love writing in any scenario! *if neither is bolded you can take your pick, it means I love writing both of them <3 italicised means I would literally kill for you to write this with me. i'm open to canon x oc or canon x canon, as well as mxf (generally my default but not always!), mxm, or mxf.

I'm very easy going (just silly really) and would put my activity at about a 6/10 - I won't be on discord every day but will absolutely check in with you if I think I'm going to be away from my phone or extremely busy. while I don't have any triggers per say, I prefer to plot and write a little together before plunging into full blown smut, and I like nsfw scenes to have a plot purpose (most of the time lol). needless to say i am extremely anti-jkr. these characters are ours now <3 harry potter: fred weasley x alicia spinnet** (i would probably cut limbs off for this) sirius black x marlene mckinnon sirius black x remus lupin sirius black x ofc oliver wood x katie bell or ofc george weasley x luna lovegood george weasley x angelina johnson narcissa malfoy x lucius malfoy draco malfoy x astoria greengrass alastor moody x anyone fabian prewett x anyone

lily evans x james potter draco malfoy x harry potter ginny weasley x harry potter ginny weasley x pansy parkinson bill weasley x fleur delacour dudley dursley x anyone magical for his redemption arc any minor character ships where we can develop backstories! (just off the top of my head for characters that I love to develop: michael corner, padma patil, justin finch-fletchley, theodore nott, terry boot, susan bones, blaise zabini)

the hunger games: finnick odair x annie cresta haymitch abernathy x effie trinket coriolanus snow x whatever poor girl he decides is going to be his wife gale hawthorne x madge undersee

gale hawthorne x johanna mason ('i could fix him' 'well i could make him worse') finnick odair x ofc (happy to play either role) original tributes in the arena, tribute x mentor if we come up with something good! haymitch x his girl from home (rip babe) asoiaf (book canon): robb stark x jeyne westerling or ofc robb stark x oc if we double! luv writing him sansa stark x jon snow (post parent reveal) jon snow x satin loras tyrell x renly baratheon ellaria sand x oberyn martell catelyn stark x jaime lannister iykyk catelyn stark x roose bolton nooo don't give me the skin of my enemies you're so sexy aha x davos seaworth x stannis baratheon arianne martell x anyone at all! sansa stark x willas tyrell robb stark x margaery tyrell edmure tully x margaery tyrell tbh you can probably persuade me on most canon x canon crack marriages. i got fully invested in lyanna x jaime lannister once so now nothing will surprise me <3 if you're interested in any of these pls like this post so I can reach out and provide my discord!

-