#wine dad varis

[whats-that-teacup]

what got you into dinnerware? for me, it was Ouran High School Host Club. yes. i got into dinnerware through an anime. but it got me into this world of craftsmanship, history, and design, so i'm not even embarrassed to admit it anymore.

nothin wrong with finding new interests through anime lol! I think that's wonderful

I got into it through my grandma's collection! I sorted through and organized it some years ago and the emotional high of hunting down production dates and pattern names has never left me.

Sadly that collection has long since been pared down and given to consignment stores or whatever else, but I still have a couple full sets of hers and I'm very slowly adding to it whenever I visit resale shops hehe :3

This coffee cup is part of one of those remaining sets, from the brand Mikasa in the pattern Just Flowers.

A fun fact for u: Mikasa is a relatively modern name in the porcelain trade, being established in 1948. The oldest company in my collection is Spode! Established in 1770, they were a hugely influential part of early European porcelain production and the transition from soft-paste to hard-paste formulas. Also, they're still in business today! 2020 was their 250th anniversary.

[thestobingirlie]

What do you think robin and steve are most likely to do in the future. Like will they get jobs and have relationships or do you think they will stay just them forever? What does their future look like to you?

i don’t think they have careers that they’re super dedicated to, at least not for most of their adult life lol. i think they enjoy job hopping and getting bored and then doing something new together. they’ve worked the occasional job without each other, but vastly prefer to be coworkers. (luckily for them, nancy and vickie do have solid careers lmao, so they can job hop to their hearts content.) steve obviously takes time off to be a stay at home dad, and honestly i think robin would want to stay at home with her kid for a bit too, taking them to forest school and ensuring not a day goes by without them being covered in dirt for some reason.

sometimes i like to imagine them platonically married, because i do think they love each other enough to want to spend the rest of their lives tied like that. but i do also think they’d each like to get married to a romantic partner (when that becomes an option for robin). that’s not to say their love is any weaker than romantic love, nor do i think they’d get divorced to marry someone else, so it’s just two entirely different au’s in my head lol. regardless of whether they’re lavender married, they’ll absolutely have relationships outside of that, and if stancy/rockie aren’t immediately happening, i know that stobin are getting banned from most gay bars in their area because they just have too many heartbroken exes hanging out there (and because they definitely stole robin’s ex’s cat and are not prepared to return it).

honestly my ideas for stobin’s future wildly varies depending on how funny i want to be lmao, but most of the time i picture them with nancy and vickie, in adjoined or neighbouring houses, their children raised alongside each other. happy and safe and still insanely tied at the hip.

honestly their future to me is just the wine of life, and if you haven’t read it, i am now forcing you to because it’s one of the best fics in the whole wide world.

[soffsketches]

Wines Inspired by Characters Henry Oak from Dungeons and Daddies [FULL EXPLANATION]

Starting off the series with one of my favorite characters from the podcast here's some notes I've written down for the wine.

Grape Type: So Henry having a vegetarian/vegan diet I wanted something that would pair nicely with this. There were mentions of foods like Trail Mix, Nuts, Mushrooms and dried oats and a few wines fit perfectly with this but since Chardonnay is known for it's buttery taste due to it's fermentation in OAK Barrels the choice was a bit obvious.

Dry or Sweet? Plus, this type of wine is known for being either sweet or dry depending on the temperature it was grown in. I feel like this reflects Henry's personality as he's both super sweet caring and very much a pacifist but also dry, angry and stressed.

Body So, the body reflects not only on the amount of alcohol the wine has but also, it's acidity, color and tannins.

Acidity is sour and makes your mouth water but tannins dry your mouth. That being said, medium body just means that there is a balance between both tannins and acidity and that it's within a 12.5%-13.5% alcohol level. Oaked Chardonnays are known for this.

The alcohol level is reflected on the amount of natural sugar the grapes have which can vary by the soil type, climate and variant. This does NOT reflect on the overall sweetness of the wine. Sweet wines usually have lower alcohol levels than bold wine since most of the glucose is broken up and fermented during the process there for making more alcohol.

Flavors and Aromas: Several sommeliers have explained that flavors and Aromas AND will vary depending on the pallet. There are a few that are more noticeable to several but others that aren't. That is part of the magic and art of wine tasting. That being said for Henry's Inspired wine I did use some fruits mentioned in his dialog during season 1. More specifically this quote:

What the freakin ding dang, gosh darn, dilly willy, heckin' shark tooth, banana chicanery, rootin' tootin', raspberry freaking FUCK are you two doing here?! -Henry Oak (Dungeons and Daddies Season 1)

Although banana and shark tooth aren't main notes for this wine, I feel like Henry would use these terms to describe it. Raspberry on the other hand WOULD be a nice main note, alongside the classic vanilla and Oak combo from classic chardonnay with a hint of green apple, Jazmin and general minerals. Those last three I feel reflect Oakville a lot beside the obvious OAK.

Bottle Design The main label reflects the physical appearance of the character both in its podcast cover and in the character's intro from Will Campos.

"Henry Oak is the Birkenstock rocking, crunchy, munchy, hippie, nature druid dad of the group."

Wanted to stick with the colors from the Cover art but with a more neutral tone so that it matches the colors and hue of this hypothetical wine.

Having the iconic Berkenstocks in the background on a rocky stone grown with vines growing around it, just felt like the perfect vision for Henry. And as a little homage to on of the several dadfacts I added a Trilobite insignia on the top of the wine cap.

Finally, I added the important info such as where it would have been produced, by what bodega and when. Obviously, Oakville in the Forgotten Realms would have been an interesting place to grow grapes. Bodega Daddies because it sounds both funny and well fitted and finally it's from 2019 because that's when Henry Oak first appeared in the first episode of that same year.

And I think that just about does it!!!

Thank you so much for reading and I'll be following up with the next wine of the series. Which character should I make a wine for next?

[wordy-little-witch]

What are the Strawhat Pirates reaction to Atlas?

All in all?

I can really see Nami and Zoro being Wildly Uncertain About This Child. For one, he's a tiny Buggy Seraphim. For another, he's.... gosh he's kinda dripping with trauma somehow?? Not sure how to react to all of that, really.

Zoror eventually settles on semi-distant acceptance. His not-dad adopted this one so it's kind of like having a step brother? Adopted brother? Small sibling. He doesn't know. Kid's pretty funny though, he's about this.

Nami meanwhile oscillates between Indifference and Wanting To Be The Cool Cousin. She isn't sure how to react or treat the kid ((interacting with children is.... wonky for her)). But once she and Atlas both warm up to each other, That's Her Best Friend. Matching sunglasses, both sipping fancy coffee/juice, Heavily Judging the fashion sense of those around them. ((Nami also knows SOME sign bc after Belle-mére's death, she had a stint of being semi verbal and Hachi taught her some)).

Usopp is SO EXCITED and also high key terrified. Kids, to him, kinda.... circumvent the Horrors. 11/10 Babysitter, cries when Atlas dubs him big brother Usopp, can and will put this child in his bag and go on "'"adventures"'". He's honestly less intimidated by Atlas than he is Birdie and Angel, but very quickly warms up to all three. Is one of the boys' most favorite Strawhats.

Sanji takes one look at this kid and goes "Oh. What the fuck happened here???" Atlas has some trauma red flags, and given that he is currently being raised by Buggy, Mihawk and Crocodile, he kind of immediately gets suspicious and defensive with them. Soon warms up and realizes that they are not in fact hurting the kid (any of them, since all three are a little Not Good in varying visibility), that the redflags are genetic memory imposed and that the three Guild leaders are actively trying to help. Regardless, while he is semi awkward with the kids, he makes it his mission to spoil them with fun snacks, treats, etc.

Chopper is sliiightly over protective but to comical results. Has a boo-boo kit that rarely gets used, and even when it does, it's mostly for playtime. Speaking of, PLAYMATE PLAYMATE PLAYMATE. Chopper really loves them all, and while he does worry a lot, he adores all three of the boys. Atlas specifically piques his interest as a doctor and a friend. AuDHD to AuDHD communication

Robin Is A Wine Aunt And She Is Thriving. She's relatively hands off but still vigilant to make sure everyone is safe. Atlas specifically tugs her heart strings, and when he lit up when she greeted him fluidly in sign, she damn near melted. He's so cute. She enjoys babysitting him especially ((Birdie and Angel too but in different ways)) because Atlas, much like his mama and much like auntie Robin, has a THIRST for knowledge. He loves reading and telling her all about his newest interests. She thinks he's cute as a button.

Franky thinks the seraphim are fascinating from a clinical stand point and outright abhorrent from an ethical perspective. He's just glad they have a family now, especially one that loves them so much. He also enjoys anyone who thinks something is SUPERRRR. Excitable kids? Excitable kids who are basically family themselves? Can't get more super than that. ((Absolutely the type of uncle-figure who loads them up on sugar, soda, etc and sends them home.))

Brook was nervous at that first meeting ngl. He's a skeleton. He's funny, yeah!! But kids.... are hit or miss - usually the latter. Except these little guys think he's SO COOL and their little starry eyes are adorable and charming and his heart is fit to burst - if he had one that is yohohoho~ ((Bonus points, Atlas loves skeleton puns and they can go for HOURS if not stopped or evened out by a third party)). And the littlest Seraphim is also... very cuddly when he's tired. It worried Brook at first, when he was there around nap time and Atlas wandered to him. Bone isn't exactly the best for cuddles, after all. But At just shook his head with a smile and replied warm inside, all I need, Brook-uncle gives good hugs. Sleep please? And who is Brook to turn down a sleepy child with such a sweet smile? Also the kid likes music, so extra bonus points!!!

Jimbei wasn't exactly hard certain on anything going into this, but Atlas is charming and cute and called him uncle and listen he's a simple man with a big heart and cute kids have a free pass to nuzzle right on in there against his will. He's one of few Buggy, Mihawk and Crocodile would trust fully with the kids longer than a few hours at a time. He probably teaches the kids martial arts and then releases them to cause safe chaos.

And best for last -> Luffy Is Vibrating. The kids are like. Step-sibling/cousins, and he LOVES them!!! So much!!!! Atlas is cuddly and Luffy is cuddly!! Atlas likes pranks and LUFFY LIKES PRANKS!!!!! They're two peas in a pod, and somehow when the two get together, Luffy actually has the braincell, much to everyone else's terror. He's protective and warm and playful and kinda.... almost mature. It's adorable. Atlas had some reservations - new people is hard enough but the hat... - and when Luffy seemed to pick up on that, he let it hang behind his shoulders. And when Atlas inevitably looks at it, so lost and mixed, Luffy would probably offer it over with a soft smile. And Atlas would cry. And Luffy would hold him as best he can with rubbery warm arms and a heart bursting with care. ((And when Buggy catches sight sometime later of the boys all playing and he sees his littlest boy laughing freely with a painfully familiar hat tipping over his eyes, swamping his kitty cat beanie, as a dark haired young man chases after him with a grin? Well... his tears are private, and so is the hurt and healing within))

[pleasereadmeok]

Can we all give Matthew Goode a 👏 for his endless quest to avoid typecasting?

These are the last 4 roles I've seen him in -

Exhibit A - Manipulative, religious fanatic, GINGER King Sigismund in 'Medieval'.

Exhibit B - Stunning, scene stealing, rollercoaster portrayal of the smart mouthed Paramount Studio boss, Robert Evans in 'The Offer'. Even people that knew Evans loved his performance - and that takes A LOT

Exhibit C - Thoughtful, Christian Oxford don - C.S. Lewis in 'Freud's Last Session'

Exhibit D - Scary AF vampy dad in 'Abigail'

Before all of the above - he was sword fighting with Ralph Fiennes in 'The Kingsman', defending Jim Broadbent in court in 'The Duke' and trying to keep it together for his family while the world literally ended around him in 'Silent Night'. Oh and making us all 🤣 with his hilarious antics on 'The Wine Show'.

What's next? A gifted but jaded detective in Scandi Noir 'Department Q' and either a hedgehog or an amnesiac rabbit 😂 in 'Spiked/Tally Ho'

I mean ... come on ... can you you see ANY typecasting there?

Yet his whole varied career is often summed up as 'that bloke from Downton Abbey' - 🤬 Guys - please check out the variety of roles. Something for everyone.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

📷 MG Filmography my edits

[meteor752]

The Double Life Kids headcanons 3

A whole lot has happened since the last of these headcanon posts, like, a whole lot. The last post was before the kids even went to the Empires server

So, I thought I’d do one of these again, cause I like making headcanon posts

All the kids except Liana share the same birthday, since Liana spawned as an egg and hatched like, a month later. They wouldn’t usually celebrate their birthdays in anyway, especially after their parents deaths, but when they were separated it became a tradition on both ends to get a cake and blow out their candles, celebrating both them and the ones on the other server, counting down the years until they could see them again. Liana gets a cupcake on hers

Zee (The Lizzie + Skizz child) uses She/He pronouns

Skim uses They/Them

Liana, Jekiv, and Gertrude are girlbosses while Johnny, Novo, and Jassy are boylosers. Wes is somewhere in between

Johnny brought Lily the Warden with him to Empires, and later to Hermitcraft, and then back to Empires. She’s his little sister, and where he goes, she goes

Gertrude bites in her sleep. It’s not always aggressive, usually it’s just lil love bites, but if she’s having a particularly vivid dream or is very stressed out, then she can leave pretty extreme chomps. It’s usually just her pillow or blanket, but sometimes Novo falls victim to her sleep biting. He doesn��t mind

Johnny hates using a bed to sleep, and exclusively sleeps in a hammock.

Through trial and error, and many years of work, Wes, together with Jassy, BDubs and one of his many steeds, managed to overcome his fear of horses. He even got his own, an Ardennais named Dweller

Jekiv also got his own horse, but instead of breeding one he kinda, made one. Virgil was his first successful resurrection, that didn’t just crumble into dust immediately. He’s not very friendly and struggles with obeying him, but he’s (mostly) fully alive which is all that really counts

fWhip was the one who made Liana’s prosthetic, and Doc later made improvements to it so it would hold better and be more comfortable. She has many stickers on it, just for funsies

In the good ending, where the kids all got a happy ending together, Gertrude and Jekiv were finally able to meet their other dads. Jek was thrilled to get another chance to bond with his dad, and Gert was just happy to have her dad back

Jassy also got to reunite with her little brother, Hermes

Johnny is very face blind. It usually isn’t a problem since everyone around him dresses and look very distinctively, but in Empires where everyone he knows wore entirely different outfits in varying aesthetics, he struggled a lot. It just became a habit of the kids that if you wore something different than you usually wore around him, you’d immediately tell him who you are and let him inspect you for a bit

Wes has little control over his volume. It’s kinda strange for him, as he doesn’t really take notice of it himself. When talking to him, he can go from almost whispering to straight up yelling without even realizing it. The rest of the kids are used to it, but it’s usually a surprise to any new people

Liana drinks exclusively expensive whiskey, Jassy loves tequila, Novo is a huge fan of cheap wine, Gertrude likes rum cocktails, Jekiv drinks straight Vodka, Wes sticks to cider, and Johnny makes his own moonshine. Drink nights are a mess

Speaking of which, Liana is the messiest drunk to every messy. She has absolutely zero filter, and for some reason loves to spit out random pretty miserable and dark facts that she’s read about. She tends to clonk out after like two hours though, so it’s just to put up with it

Nobody ever calls Johnny Johnathan. Nobody, except Keralis

Liana and Jassy’s first wedding was less because of love and devotions, and more because they were 14 years into life on the double life server and everyone was fucking miserable, so they thought an event could help cheer people it. It did, but like barely

This is why they remarried, to have an honest chance to express their love for each other. Also an excuse to wear fancy clothes

Jekiv and Wes, in the good ending, got married shortly after reuniting with each other on their new server. It was a very quaint ceremony, but still lovely

Gertrude and Novo are still waiting for the other to propose, and they will just keep on waiting

Also, since this will be posted on the two year anniversary of my first ever post about the kids, I thought I’d share some scrapped ideas and other bts stuff. It’s not a lot since I’m one person using Hero Forge and posting stuff on Tumblr, but there’s some things lol

Jassy was first meant to be a set of twins. It was scrapped for many reasons, one of them being the “one child per couple”, but when I was still working on their first designs I had two wips. The original idea was that one of them was going to take inspiration from some other Naruto character, I think Hinata is who I settled for, and the other was going to have more of a fantasy vibe, to fit the theme of Shrek. This was another reason this was scrapped lol, but for a short while the idea of twin sisters Hinata and Princess Fiona excited

The kids were originally going to go to Hermitcraft. This was before we knew the portal led to Empires, so I was planning of having them enter the portal and exit in Grians base. The main reason this got scrapped was of course that we found out that the portal led to Empires, but also because I knew next to nothing about the Ren The King storyline during season nine, which I was planning to have be a big part of it, with Gertrude and Liana taking center stage as the main characters

To piggy back of the last one, I was planning to make a part two to Logbook, Jekiv’s fic where he wrote journal entries throughout their 20 year stay at the Double Life series. The premise of the sequel was that Liana was to have found the journal before he left it behind, and that she was going to keep on writing in it during their time on Hermitcraft. I even started a rough first draft of it, but as the Hermitcraft storyline was scrapped, so was the journal entry sequel.

Novo and Jekiv are both based off of dnd characters I’ve used in the past, a Bard who can’t play any instruments, and a character who picked up and slowly mastered necromancy halfway through a campaign. It wasn’t planned at the beginning, but it felt fun to pay homage to it, even if I would be the only one who understood the reference.

Some scrapped design ideas is that Liana was gonna be part Vex (Scrapped because it was too messy), Novo was gonna have more of a purple shade in his hair (Scrapped because it didn’t look right, but his signature colour is still purple), Johnny was gonna have a blue fire motif (Scrapped because I like the red fire vibe more, fit him better), Jekiv was gonna have red hair (Scrapped because he just looked exactly like Cleo that way), and Jassy was gonna be entirely green (Scrapped because it looked weird and didn’t fully fit since Joel isn’t green and like no one designs him like that, she does still have some green to her tho).

I mentioned this in a previous post but Liana went through many names before I settled on Liana (The first one I came up with lol, it just stuck). These names (Sharina Ace Sage Aurelia Francesca Octavia Monroe) along with Xelqua and Jellie became her middle names

Not a fucking day goes by where I don’t regret having Jassy constantly change her hairstyle. I painted myself into a corner for that one, and by god am I suffering

And, as a final little thing to celebrate my two year anniversary of not knowing peace because of these fucking kids, I thought I’d show you all a little comparison of the first ever hero forge design I made of the kids, and the most recent one, both to show how they’ve grown but also how I’ve gotten better at using the site lol

Ah, my babies

The funny thing is, that while yes they have changed and evolved over these two years, they canonically have not grown at all lol

Anyways, happy two year anniversary kids

[quitealotofsodapop]

I am in a funny mood, so you get this:

A multiverse meeting – which is just hanging out, enjoying modern conveniences and shenanigans (more so from them actual adults then the kids, aside from the Dorito God Sacrifice Incident) – going about normally. There’s probably a documentary about something that makes the youngers go ‘oh!’ in turns.

Then the door is busted open and as everyone is grabbing a weapon – they see Nuwa, the Goddess of Creation herself, panting wildly, hair everywhere, holding a bundle that she full on yeets at LMK!Mac – he just caught it – and exclaims, “None of you saw me here, alright!” Then she zips away fast enough that the dust only kicked up a minute later.

“What the fu-”

“Language!”

“Oh, sorry!” Sarcasm drips, “But do YOU have any idea what is going on?!”

Then her husband Fuxi stumbles through the door, “Did any of you see Nuwa?!”

The confusion only intensifies. What was going on?

“Not recently.” LMK!SWK lies, you know, like a liar.

Fuxi just accepts it and runs out. They can hear him shouting for Nuwa, saying things like “I won’t be mad, I promise!” and “Just tell me what you and Hou Tu did!”

“What is this about?” Reborn!SWK feels very confused, the confusion is paramount, enough of it was in the air to choke an elephant.

They turned to look at the bundle – vary it was something dangerous. LMK!Mac slowly moves to open the bundle up and see its contents. You don’t need six ears to hear the heartbeats.

LMK!Mac blinks when he sees it, “Oh fuck.”

“Look now who’s swearing.”

LMK!SWK leans in and – “Fuck!”

“What is it?!” Smash!SWK nearly shrieks.

“Um…” LMK!Mac turns to reveal the bundle – to be a small demon monkey with a face marking, “It’s a baby?”

“What.”

So, yeah, that’s HOW Sun Luzhen happens – because bored gods, wine and curiosity leads to ‘fucking around and finding out’. Literally.

Now, Nuwa and Hou Tu just need to pay for child support X’D

Oh my chinese mythos gods

that is the perfect explanation for how Sun Luzhen happens XD

Nuwa and Hou Tu had a repeat one-night stand and made another stone monkey. Bonus if it was similar events that led to SWK's own creation in some theories XD

For all we know, Fuxi is the third parent in the genetic mess that is Mystic Monkeys.

Poor LMK Shadowpeach now got another baby to deal with. At least little Luzhen seems to adore his adoptive dads, and especially his big bro MK. The rest of the Wukongverse are horrified.

[kittykatrattie]

"CJ is a stoner" Oh ur appealing to my stoner ass? You want my stoner headcanons?? Fine whatever twist my arm, here ya go

David and Gwen: David was the kid who fell hard for the DARE program propaganda and for ages firmly believed weed was a gateway drug and could kill you from one joint. It takes a lot of convincing from Gwen (and later Max) for him to realize weed is kinda safe. Still refuses to even try it until it's legalized recreationally. Gwen smoked in college to relieve stress and have fun but hasn't smoked since because she lost her plug. Starts smoking again when Max tells her that the Wood Scouts are selling

Max: Resident Camp Stoner. Started smoking occasionally at 14 and then every day when covid lockdown started and he was stuck at home with his parents. It's mostly him "self medicating" his depression and having a higher tendency towards addiction (addict father, ADHD and BPD). Smokes regularly for pretty much the rest of his life. Has One (1) tolerance break before he gets his top surgery. He doesn't exactly take great care of himself

Neil: Only takes edibles (smoking isn't exactly Great for his asthma) and only occasionally. Until he's 18, he only really gets high at camp because he doesn't want either of his parents to know or find out. As an adult, he gets high for parties and concerts with Max (to keep himself from having meltdowns or panic attacks) and for hanging around at home. When he lives with Max, he gets high about once or twice a month to relax

Nikki: SOCIAL SMOKER ONLY. She's down to do whatever with her best friends (this is how Max doesn't even have to talk her into trying shrooms or other drugs with him. She just loves adventures) but never thinks about it herself. She gets even more energetic when she's high, somehow

Preston: Prefers wine (it's fancier and he's Italian) but likes smoking too. Varies throughout his life but he enjoys getting high with friends or if he needs a creative boost

Harrison: For the longest time he was scared of trying any drugs until the others peer pressured him into it. Once he gets over the Catholic guilt, he has fun and likes that it lets him unmask a bit. They have a rule that he's not allowed to do magic while high. He can't control it very well

Nerris: Mostly does edibles, only rarely smokes. Xe doesn't like the smell. Likes going on "adventures" (aka to the store, running around town, going to the park) while high with friends

Misc: Nurf eventually tries a little bit of everything (even more so than Max, who at least avoids the hard stuff) before quitting anything stronger than weed. He focuses more on his career as a prison therapist but still occasionally smokes. Ered rarely got high before it was legalized because Cop Dads made that difficult, and then she only smokes to Look Cool. Space hotboxes its helmet whenever it smokes. Max has definitely stolen said helmet many times to hoxbot himself

The Wood Scouts and the Flower Scouts originally had a bitter rivalry over who got to be the Lake Lilac dealer, until they realized they have different clienteles because the Flower Scouts only sell edibles and the Wood Scouts only sell smokables. They cut a deal so the Flower Scouts can buy bud cheap to bake into cookies or brownies and the Wood Scouts get cheap edibles

[actualbird]

you probably already saw this in ur notifs but i have been OBSESSED with everything tot you've posted ever since my tot obsession came back. like. OH MAN I VIBE WITH YOU. YOUR IDEAS AND DISCUSSION OF CHARACTERS. CHEFS KISS. poly ot5 is my everything especially bcs it gets DEEP into every one of them :D

and i was thinking about mc's parents meeting nxx. in a scenario where maybe, they need researchers and for some reason or whatever they need someone personal, who they can fully trust including maybe some nxx stuff.

luke looks at mc. mc looks at luke.

well, if marius von hagen needed them. surely they'd be allowed to leave the program maybe temporarily.

and that's how vyn, artem, and marius have their internal parental issues brought out in full force at the sight of mc and luke with mc's parents. like they're just coddling them in the Parent way and they're both enjoying it as a Son and Daughter would. and those three are just like Oh. Wow. That Looks Nice.

artem has both parents but like based on how he's lonely as a kid i know these sorts of interactions were surely few and far between. he would Not be so emotionally repressed. marius has a loving dad but a dead mom who people blame him for and austin has said himself that he Represses. like marius. and vyn? Disastrous. yeah they would be having a Moment with that sort of scenario

and the Moments they will be having when the parenting goes to them too. because i think mc's parents are the type to parent their kid's friends too. they see these sad boys and think. Adopted.

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG ASJJFKWKS it's just given me a lot of Thoughts.

hello hello, and HAHA YEAH i did see in my notifs a lot these past few days!! im so so glad you enjoy my tot stuff, i was particularly surprised that u even managed to get to me super early posts. it makes me rlly happy to see even those still enjoyable now ;w;

also pls this idea is lovely, has such fertile environment for BIG FEELS!!!!

i rlly wish we knew more about mc’s parents in canon. like i understand that theyve been yeeted into the void for narrative/player-insert-ambiguity purposes buT I HAVE A GREAT NEED!! TO SEE THEM COME BACK!!! ALL THE INTERACTIONS WLD BE LOVELY

and gosh yeah jkvkjHVJAHFKS 3 SAD BOIS R IN GREAT NEED FOR SOME FAMILIAL LOVE!! it makes me really emotional thinking about how artem, vyn, and marius have less than stellar parent-relationships for all the reasons u mention. it’s either absence, neglect, or something else altogether that just resulted in a childhood where their parents couldve been better. they werent the worst parents in the world, but they all couldve been better.

(sidenote: “and vyn? Disastrous” THATS SUCH A FUNNBY ONE-LINER FOR HIS PARENT SITUATION AKJFHVSOFAISLVALIUBA)

im So For mc’s parents vaguely becoming pseudo-parents to the other three. i mean, they already did that with luke, whats 3 more neurotic grown men?

(sidenote 2: i joke sometimes that luke is unintentionally very good at collecting father figures. aaron, that Bar L owner, a bunch of mentioned NSB seniors he worked under. people see luke and go “wow is anybody gonna son-ify that young man” and then they dont wait for an answer, they just go for it)

itd be sweet and also entertaining if mc’s parents invited them all to a dinner. i mean, the nxx boys are the people she hangs around The Most so it’s basically like meeting her friend group! her….really weird and varied friend group who REALLY want to make a good impression.

[outside of mc’s apartment, artem, marius, and vyn stall on ringing the door buzzer]

marius: ok so before we go in, i wanna ask…….what gifts did u get her parents?

vyn: this better not be a way for you to flaunt your gift

marius: it isnt! im genuinely curious!! and also hoping i’ll be less nervous if i know what you guys brought!!!

artem: i bought a kitchen knife set and sharpened them myself

vyn: i purchased the best bottle of wine i could

marius: …cool. cool cool cool cool those are lovely and reasonable gifts and now im realizing i should uh. tone mine down.

artem: huh?

vyn: what on earth did you get?

marius: it’s fine, dont worry about it, im getting vincent to drive it away right now

vyn: WHAT

luke, phasing into existence behind them without a sound: so are you three thinking of going inside any time this century?

artem, marius, vyn: AAHH

itll totally be a fun dinner all together HAHAHKJAVFKJHAS

[p0chy]

~One Piece characters tiktok user HCs~

Part 2 !

Characters included : Brook, Yorki, Rosinante, Marco, Yamato, Robin, Luffy, Hiyori, Iceburg, Buggy, Mihawk, Ivankov, Pudding, Whitebeard

Brook

He'll do videos with Yorki most of the time, the content will vary between scary exploration, dad jokes and ofc music

He'll shows his own creation and make live asking people what they'd like him to play

Sometimes will do fashion videos because people keeps asking to see more outfits (grandpa is swag)

He has been suspended once because he kept duetting girls videos asking to see their panties

Yorki

Rarely post alone videos, always with Brook

He also makes music but he's also willing to get an outfit makeover from Brook

Will never answer the "are they together??" comments because he enjoys the chaos

Will duet cool musicians and add something to create the best music ever

Rosinante

Kind of a dad will tell stories, also make bad jokes, usually a go to page when you're sad

When he tries to make serious video everything goes wrong and he end up catching fire almost all the time

Had to ask Law why some people call him babygirl

His fyp is mostly cute things, he cries in front of cute kitten videos

Marco

Doesn't post often but when he does he breaks the internet (too hot)

He has medical videos and animals videos on his page

But contrary to Law his videos aren't traumatizing and everyone loves to learn with him

He likes to just watch his friends videos, seeing them happy make his day

Yamato

An Oden dedicated account

He'll do everything, edits, drawings (he tries), cosplay, dance everything if it's Oden related

Will be a guest in Ace videos sometimes (for more chaos)

His most viral video is not about Oden and it's making him very sad (he tries his extra best to change it)

Robin

The historian tiktok, you learn so much thanks to her

Will also tells you about the most gruesome cold cases she knows about with a smile on her face

Her fyp is book recommendations and cute little animals

She's also a guest on Franky's page a lot, he keeps building her cool stuff

Luffy

ABSOLUTE CHAOS

Use of sounds you never heard on this app, loud and shakey camera as well

Exploration and bugs tiktoks, can't focus on a thing for more than 2 seconds but will spend 10 minutes describing his new beetle

Doesn't even understand the app but people follow him because he's funny

Hiyori

Pretty girl influencer account

Makes music and fashion content, overall not problematic

She has some male fans accusing her of taking their money without anything in exchange and she's unapologetic about it

She has a secret channel for girls to give advices on how to find and take the most money out of a sugar daddy

Iceburg

Was supposed to be the face of the Water 7 official account to show all the good things in the city

The account is almost dead

The rare posts starts normally with his secretary making a speech about the workers but Iceburg ends up making a vlog of Tyrannosaurus

Often repost miniature accounts especially with tiny rodents in them, with the official account

Buggy

Started as an hater account, but people never took him seriously

Ended up trying to make himself look cool, failed miserably as his lies has great consequences on his life (rip)

Pathetic boyfail, doesn't know if he should be happy or offended when his fangirls insult him while saying how much they love him

Attempts thirst traps, get interrupted by Alvida who gets all the attention in the comments

Mihawk

Didn't want to make an account, his (undesired) kids made one for him

Ended up spending a lot of time on it when he saw he could find useful advices and recommendations from interesting accounts

Started posting a bit without showing himself showing his favorite wines and his plant garden

Shanks recognized him anyway and he deleted his account after seeing a comment from him

Ivankov

Drag queen account

Post shows, makeup, drama and always manage to have feat with the baddest bitches

No one ever dare to criticize the queen, they fear what happened to those who tried

Virtually adopts every misfits and made a discord for them, hops in from time to time to remind them to hate the government and slay all day

Pudding

Made videos about baking and cute family moments

She was very liked as an unproblematic and caring girl

Until a video of her being awful and mean was posted and her downfall was almost immediate

Posted an apology video with tears but people still don't trust her

Whitebeard

Another dad account

Badly filmed video of his children, always trying to show them off

Will engage in dads fight to prove that his children are the best

Reposts all of their videos even the questionable ones to their dismay

SEE I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD MAKE THE POST BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR, YES IT'S THE 30/12 BUT I'M STILL IN TIME I DON'T CARE, NO ONE WAS WAITING FOR IT ANYWAY BUT IT'S MY PERSONAL VICTORY I AM TRUSTWORTHY

Anyway you liked these ones! I didn't have the inspiration for a while and was super busy after, but really wanted to take the time to do it today! The hype is probably gone with all the wait but if you want a part 3 with more characters let me know, I'll try to make it in less than a year 🧍🧍🧍

Well this aside, take care of yourselves, happy holidays and best wishes for 2024, hope your year is full of Killer 😌

[chvoswxtch]

speak now — any headcanons about Matt and music?

i’ve been thinking about this since you first submitted it & doing some research (rewatching DD clips) so let's explore together nonnie

headcannon below the cut

timeless (matt's version)

so we know that matt likes vinyl records, which is one of the very few clues we get about what devil boy does for fun besides argue and bleed, which I think might be a preference passed down from his dad (jack might've been a collector and passed some down to matt as a kid), but I think it also has to do with the listening experience

I myself collect records, and have for several years, and listening to a vinyl vs listening to music on the radio or your phone is a different experience. sometimes the music can get a little distorted when listening on a phone, or there's interference from the radio, but vinyls usually produce a very crisp and clean sound which might work better for matt's sensitive hearing

I personally think he has a pair of noise cancelling headphones that he plugs into his record player sometimes when he wants to be able to listen to the music without any distractions picked up with his other senses (the buzz of electricity in his building, traffic, conversations of his neighbors, etc.)

I also feel like his taste in music changes depending on what he's doing

for example, if he's working on a court case, I feel like he would pick something like classical music or something instrumental so that there's background noise to soothe his already overstimulated mind, but no lyrics or anything to disrupt his train of thought/focus. think music you would hear playing quietly in a local coffee shop

however when he goes to fogwells, I think he definitely chooses music that will keep him amped up, probably some kind of high energy rock or hip hop with heavy bass and beats he might use to time his jabs at the punching bag

as for what his favorite kind of music in, honestly I think it varies

I could see him in the kitchen cooking with a glass of wine, playing something like frank sinatra, etta james, the temptations, sam cooke, etc. something soulful and a little jazzy that makes him feel relaxed, but also move around his kitchen with a pep in his step

something tells me jack was a classic rock guy, that's just the feeling I get from him. I think this is what matt listens to when he wants to feel close to his dad, or maybe like on sundays when he's cleaning and unwinding, trying to get ready for the week. maybe like the eagles, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, journey, led zeppelin, etc.

I think all of the newer music he listens to is definitely influenced primarily by foggy and karen

foggy nelson is a huge 80s guy. he knows EVERY hit from the 80s and will proudly sing them drunkenly at karaoke. given that he and matt lived together, and shared a broom closet at landman and zack together, and are essentially in a civil union for all intents and purposes, Matt knows a lot of 80s hits bc of foggy.

karen on the other hand is a 90s/early 2000s girly. she's definitely the reason matt suddenly realizes one day he knows all the lyrics to "baby one more time" by britney spears and was quietly humming along in his office while foggy was belting it in his. i'd like to think she plays "wannabe" by the spice girls at least once a week in their office and one night after a few drinks taught both of them the dance which she can only get them to perform after several rounds at josie's

I also think frank is a classic rock kinda guy (we know he likes bruce springsteen) and I have this adorable picture in my head of frank coming over to borrow vinyls from matt, and even adding a few of his own to matt's collection

all the grunge in his collection came from jess and no one can convince me otherwise (here's the angsty music I like to brood to, enjoy- jess)

given the fact that matt speaks spanish, i'd like to think that he enjoys reggaeton and maybe even tejano music (I like to think he's a selena fan, but that could be me projecting)

he's a swiftie. foggy and karen are swifties and successfully convereted matt into a swiftie, whether he likes to admit it or not. i said what i said (frank is next to be converted)

now i'm very curious to know what kinda music y'all think matty likes??

[asclexe]

project; fully staff ppth

meet the oncology ward’s cuntiest nurse!!!

⭐️BASICS :3⭐️

name: nurse leo fitsher

full name: leo timothy neil fitsher jr

nickname: lee, nurse fag

gender: male, cis (he/him)

age: 62 (dob april 24, 1942)

nationality/ethnicity: italian american. born and raised in new york

heavy new york accent. ‘ey, i’m walkin’ ‘ere!

ppth position: oncology nurse, second oldest in the ward and there the longest

sexuality: gay man

he has a husband, they got married in massachusetts the month after it was legalized in may, but they’d known eachother and been in passionate love since the ‘70s

personality: the most flamboyant, bitchy, cunty guy you will ever meet. an absolute character. he will talk your ear off the wall with the most interesting stories about queer history. absolute yapper. loves gossiping with the other nurses. acts like a bitchy nursing home worker to all the patients. the only way in my mind to describe him is bitchy. nice, sometimes. it very apparent if he doesn’t like you, but he likes mostly everyone. he basically adopts all of the new hires, has a habit of calling people honey/darling/babe platonically. he’s your old gay bitchy uncle! you either love him or loathe him

appearance: old, tall, chubby white guy. like joe biden but with fat and less deterioration. again, looks very bitchy and unfriendly. very short, thinning white hair. grey stubble. slight dent on his forehead from being dropped as a baby

style: wears scrubs, varying from basic blue to grinch pattern. comfy old man sliders. pens in his pocket. that’s it.

he has diabetes type one, has had lots of health issues but he’s primarily healthy and very happy in life now :3

⭐️BACKSTORY :3⭐️

born to a big poor traditional catholic italian family in 1940s new york. mama’s boy. he was raised ‘classically’, he got spanked a ton and played in the streets. had dreams of being an actor, got called a faggot a lot, until reality hit and his parents pushed him into the military. got discharged. mom died. was an broadway for the first time. got engaged to a lovely woman, who he probably would’ve married if he wasn’t gay. broke it off. got hatecrimed. left new york. met the love of his life. moved to new jersey for his partners job. started as a nurse at ppth. lived through the aids crisis. traveled to massachusetts to get married.

⭐️RELATIONSHIPS WITH EVERYONE :3⭐️

wilson: leo is the most organized, most efficient, rudest nurse in his department and he’s like a wine aunt to wilson. like his gay dad. frequently gives him advice.

house: house lowkey respects him. leo tries to set him up with wilson. that’s it.

thirteen: like a father. they bumped into eachother and he immediately went ‘i like you!’ she’s his prodigal daughter along with house

⭐️FUN FACTS :3⭐️

giant theatre attender, has seen soo many plays and he keeps all the playbills in storage

he and his husband have like, four cats and a dog

attended the stonewall riots, went to a bunch of old gay clubs, witnessed a lot of queer history

he and his husband host a dinner party at this italian restaurant every sunday with a bunch of other old queers

did drag and was a male stripper when he was like in his 20s

american red cross is his number one op

goes all out on christmas purely for fun

will prob add more :3 we need nurses guys 🫡🫡 not all heros wear capes

[flowersbane]

Hey Flowersbane I saw your requests post and thought Id send one in if that’s cool (*´꒳`*). Could I ask for a cute Joshua/Jote fic about one of the days they use to travel together, maybe where they finally take a days rest in one of the towns on their way to another lead, and Jote has to take care of Joshua so his condition doesn’t worsen? I hope that helps! (๑>◡<๑)

um, yes, absolutely, anon, you have inspired me greatly, thank you so much for your request! i hope you like it (=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)

Stop & Smell the Roses, pt. 1

Joshua Rosfield x Jote

I tried to keep it concise, but I may have gotten ahead of myself. I’m definitely going to have to write a part 2 later, but I always get so eager & want to post what I have so far so here we are. I'll post this to AO3 once I've written the second part. At least there it can be a one shot. (lol)

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 1.9k

Tags: Flower Festival, Jote Taking Care of Joshua, Joshua Being Joshua, Jote Getting A Wee Bit Frustrated, Unedited, Faerin Try To Write A One Shot Challenge: Failed

You can read part 2 here!

Jote was beginning to think the entire world was one big obstacle. Dhalmekia’s air was too dry, Sanbreque’s weather was too cold, and everywhere they went, someone was bound to be searching for them. Her and Joshua had been following a lead about an ancient text, holed up in the Crystalline Dominion’s oldest library. His Grace’s eagerness had kept them moving fast. The consequences of such were becoming more and more apparent each day.

The final village before their destination rolled into view. Jote quickened her pace to ensure that all was well. A few stray merchants traveled down the main road, but the path was otherwise clear. “Your Grace, I believe-”

Her words were interrupted by a coughing fit. Jote ran back to Joshua’s side, brows drawn with worry. “Your Grace?”

“I am fine,” he insisted. As he always did. “We can continue on to-”

Another bout of coughs stole the words from his mouth. Jote retrieved her canteen and passed it to him. He steadied himself enough to drink, but the water did little for his obvious exhaustion. “Your Grace, if we do not stop here, we will not make it to the city before dark. I beg of you, allow us to rest for the night in a warm inn, so you might recover some of your strength.”

He looked like he might continue arguing with her, so she kept speaking first. “You must allow me to take care of you, Your Grace. It would cost us many more days should you collapse on the road. I can see that you are tired, we both are, so please…”

His blue eyes studied her for a telling length of time. He wanted to press on, but he knew she spoke the truth. After a long pause, he finally relented. “Very well, Jote. We will rest here for the night and make for the city in the morning.”

Relief washed over her, but her expression remained mostly placid. “Thank you, Your Grace.”

They closed the distance between them and the village. It was small, with hardly any bearers in sight. Despite that, the town seemed to be in high spirits. Strings of flowers were strung over walkways, hung in place by nearby buildings. Brightly colored cloths decorated the walls, each intricately embroidered with large roses of varying designs. Villagers dashed from place to place, many of them carrying large, wooden crates. Joshua’s pace slowed. “What is all of this?”

A passing woman with a long, golden braid caught his words and responded, “Why, it’s the Festival of Bloom, of course. You’re lucky to have come when you did. The festival only comes once a year. And tomorrow’s the first day.” She gestured to a nearby store. “My dad sells the best rose wine in town and don’t let no one else tell you otherwise. Especially that good-for-nothing Lancel Saragon. His wine tastes like it was fished straight from the sewage.”

Jote wrinkled her nose at the imagery, but Joshua only smiled faintly. “I will be sure to keep that in mind.”

“Aye, you’d better. For your own sake too.”

The woman carried on, leaving Joshua and Jote to move forward as well. As they walked, Jote spoke. “It’s been a long time since we’ve happened upon an event such as this.”

“It has,” His Grace agreed. “It makes me wonder if this is some sort of sign.”

Jote turned her face to look at his. “Your Grace?”

A complicated smile overtook his features. “It is nothing,” he claimed. “Let us find a place to rest.”

The inn was near the town’s center. It was a building two stories high and made from dark wood. Joshua kept his hood up as they entered the building.

“Welcome,” greeted the innkeeper, “how may we be of service?”

“One room, two beds, please,” Jote said.

He pulled out a key from behind his desk. “We charge the standard rate. Your room is on the second floor. Go to your right, all the way down, and it’s the final room on your right.”

Jote paid the innkeeper and took the keys. When she turned back to face Joshua, she did not miss the way his hand fell to his side. She knew he had been pressing it to his chest in search of some relief. And, of course, he was trying to hide it from her.

“Lord Margrace,” she offered her arm as they neared the stairs.

She knew he was still getting used to accepting her help, even after all these years. His hesitation was predictable, but, thankfully, he accepted her offer. She supported him the entire way up, but he still began coughing once they reached the top. A line of worry formed between her brows. “Your condition is worse than you’ve led me to believe,” she observed.

“I am fine.”

She remained skeptical but continued to lead the way down the hall.

The room was ordinary. Two beds on either side of the room. A window across from the door. A desk and chair to their left, pressed up against the northern wall. Joshua sat on the bed closest to the window, as was his preference. Jote dropped her belongings on her bed and began to get to work.

“You should lay down, Your Grace. I will have your medicine ready shortly.”

Joshua remained sitting. “Do you think they will have special dishes for this event?” His question was so sudden that it made Jote freeze in her motion. Joshua recognized her surprise and quickly attempted to back pedal. “I was just thinking… it could be a good time to restock on supplies that are difficult to come by.”

She knew that was not what he had been thinking. She chose her next words carefully, as though she were attempting to coax a rabbit from its burrow. “There is a high possibility that the festival will draw in merchants from across the dominion,” she said, “maybe even beyond that.” She approached him with his medicine, placing it on the bedside table next to him. “If you are concerned about restocking, perhaps it would be best if we waited a day or two to see if more merchants arrive with valuable wares.”

His Grace seemed to consider this, nodding vaguely. “There were already a good amount of merchants on the road…”

“Yes,” Jote jumped at the opportunity, “there are bound to be more to come.”

Joshua made a final, decisive nod. “Alright, then we shall remain here for another day. Tomorrow, we will search the market for supplies.” She could have sworn she saw the corners of his lips curve upwards before he quickly pulled his mask of stoicism over his head. “You should get some rest as well, Jote.”

He laid back. Jote gave him a somewhat unamused stare. “Your medicine, Your Grace.” He hadn’t forgotten. He had only hoped that she would.

“Oh. Yes, of course.” He sat back up. He took the bottle in his hand but hesitated. “Jote, could you get the lamp?”

She got to her feet and did as he bid. When she turned back to him, he was bringing his hand down from his lips and placing the bottle back on the nightstand. She knew that if she opened the bottle, she would find it still full of medicine. She tried to communicate with him without words, but he was already laying back down with his back turned towards her.

“Thank you, Jote. Sleep well.”

She sighed. She would just have to hope that he would be more willing in the morning.

| • |

She did not have to wait until morning. Joshua’s coughing woke her only a few hours later. She sat up, expecting to see him in his bed, but startled when she saw that he was instead sitting on the windowsill. She yanked the blankets from herself. “Your grace!” she hissed.

He coughed a final time before looking over his shoulder at her. “Jote, apologies. I did not mean to wake you.” His words were followed by another coughing fit.

Jote stopped by his side, trying to control her frustration with him. Why, in good Greagor’s name, would he think she was upset at him for waking her? “First you refuse your medicine and then you refuse to rest. Remind me again, Your Grace, why we’ve stopped here if not for the betterment of your health.”

“I-” He stopped abruptly. He knew there was no point in arguing with her. Instead, he tried to change the direction of their conversation. “I have never seen you so angry.”

For a brief moment, it worked. She flinched back, embarrassed that she let her temper get the better of her, but then she recognized the glint in his eyes, the curve of his mouth. She frowned again. “Your Grace, please.”

He sighed. His attention turned back to the scene laid out before them. The town was alight with festivities. Glowing lights, distant music. “Forgive me, Jote. The scenery was just…” He trailed off.

Jote felt her heart soften. She dared to rest her hands on the sill, dared to follow his gaze.

It was as though the town had captured stars from the sky and lit their streets with them. In the dark, it was a lake’s reflection of the night sky. “There is nothing to forgive, Your Grace. I only wish that you would take care of yourself. Or, at least, allow me to take care of you.”

His blue eyes found her. She could make out his features in the low light, but even if it were pitch black outside, she would be able to picture him. He may wear a hood most of the time, but she was infinitely familiar with his face. She felt the rest of the world fade as she focused on him.

“Alright, Jote. I will go to sleep.”

He began coming down from the window sill. She had to step back to give him enough room to complete his maneuver. He stumbled on the way back down. She jolted forward to support him. She wrapped an arm around his waist as he draped his arm over her shoulders. “Let me help you to bed, Your Grace.”

He nodded. She helped him lower himself into a lying position. When she began to pull away, he grabbed her hand. He was gentle, but the gesture was unexpected enough to startle her. “I will take my medicine now,” he said.

She breathed a sigh of relief. She took the bottle from the table and opened it. She looked to him for permission before placing one of her hands under his head, the other carefully guiding the bottle to his lips.

His hair was soft between her fingers. She focused on maintaining the tilt of the medicine bottle. He drank it, but made a face as it went down. Once all the medicine was gone, she pulled the bottle back and sealed it once more.

“Thank you, Jote.”

She sat back on the edge of his bed. “Of course, Your Grace.”

“I’m sure I would have perished long ago without you by my side. I know it has not always easy, but I’m glad you have remained with me.”

The rate of her heartbeat picked up. “I wouldn’t leave your side for anything, Your Grace. For anything.”

A soft smile graced his lips as the medicine began kicking in, guiding him into an easy slumber.

(Link to part 2)

[perennialwitness]

The Real OG(an excerpt)

Please say the following aloud:

When you’re here, 

You’re family. 

If your mind made the connection to Olive Garden just now then we probably come from a similar background. Semi-suburban– too far to take public transit into the city, close enough to drive. Forty-five minutes, with no traffic. And we all know there’s no such thing as ‘no traffic’, only varying levels of density. The freeways more like rivers than roads, their red halogen flood line rising and falling with the moon and the weather. Kept fed by a sprawl of Commuter Towns, their  farthest edges in constant creeping development.

I grew up in one of these places, vast stretches of single-family homes connected by high-speed stroads. A town with clearly delineated lines between the Blacks and the Whites, everyone else fell somewhere in between. Then there were Subsections within that for the rich(meaning they more than likely owned their home) and the poor(straight down past section 8 and into the dusty outskirts). Streets would change suddenly from one to the next. The asphalt under your feet rapidly degrading as you made your way toward the Blacker, Poorer side of town. It mattered that you knew this. It was a way to communicate things oftentimes hard to say aloud. For instance, I lived on the poor Black side and went to school on the poor White side. Anyway,

Growing up, family events that warranted a drive to the city were rare. If it was your birthday, graduation, funeral, divorce– didn’t matter, there were only a handful of places to celebrate, all of them inhabiting the same mile long shopping plaza. There was; Applebees, famous for their happy hour specials. Chevy’s, Tex-mex where they make the tortillas out in the middle of the restaurant, which had the appearance of a beach cabana. Sizzler or Red Lobster if you were feeling extra spendy(dim lights, lots of wood grain, for date nights and so forth). And then there was the Olive Garden, which was reserved for nights when you really wanted to fill up. 

“Ain’t no bigger bang for your buck than Olive Garden on a coupon,” My step-dad would say then he’d rap his overstuffed wallet against the table and let out the hoarse rattle that was his laugh. He was right, if you were smart about it you could make one dinner last three days easy. 

Truth be told the food is barely food, classic recipes trimmed down to the bare necessities as a way of cutting costs and increasing turnover. Heapings upon heapings of pasta swimming in sauces brewed by the vat. Bread sticks, soggy with butter and oil, coming out in the dozens from the kitchen like clockwork. Servers in a mad dash to ensure every table’s basket full, lest they screech about meal comps, how they were advertised endless breadsticks and how they would sue if they weren’t offered compensation.

Bigger bang, bigger buck. 

To their credit the owners of the Olive Garden had tried to keep the place classy. The walls were painted to look like the cracked plaster of a Mediterranean villa, there were “stone” columns wrapped with vine decorations, arranged by someone unconcerned with structural support. Italian-sounding string accompaniments droned over the PA to complete the immersion. It was, all things considered, a nice place to bring the kids. And my parents, swept up in the fantasy, would drink wine there, instead of their usual Whiskeys and Vodka Sodas. They’d pretend they were in love, and we-- the kids I mean-- we tried our best to behave like “family”.

In my adulthood I avoided these places. Not because I cared about the quality, I don’t have qualms with cheap bad food. My aversion was psychological. These chains represented a place and a lifestyle that I couldn’t return to. The make-believe of it all. The gamified domesticity. It isn’t simple to correct your vision, removing the blinders is painful, seeing the truth of things deteriorates the sense of self. There’s just too much comfort in familiarity. So easy to lull oneself back to sleep amongst the herd, so more than anything else what I feared was regression.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

so here's a thing I've learned about the continuum of intimacy and what you're drinking.

it goes, in order, water, wine, soda, cocktails, beer, liquor, fruit juice, wine again, milk, light beer, then water. milk sometimes goes along with soda. tea has a position on this continuum but it wildly varies depending on the individual relationship with tea. coffee is also in there somewhere.

Water goes first because it is the first option offered. If you are having a drink with someone in any context and they have water it's a surface-level interaction. a water cooler conversation. gee, the weather kind of small talk.

Wine is what you have with dinner, and you pretend there's a gravity to the decision of what wine they picked but there's not. it's what your mom and your mother-in-law exchange because of social obligation. what your grandmother drinks as she surveys her own personal matriarchy she built purely so she could stand atop it. It is the expected, ostensibly mature option. It's bad grape juice.

Soda, at the very least tastes like something. if you're drinking soda with someone they made a choice about what they're drinking and you know something about them now, even if it's just a brand allegiance. adults don't drink soda with dinner and maybe that makes it childish, the first assertions of identity. or maybe you're just out having a relaxed good time, a casual lunch.

Cocktails offer the illusion of sophistication. juice and alcohol mixed in an effort to look more impressive. But now you know what they think is impressive. show each other your masks and you know what they want to present to you.

beer is for relaxing a bit. we all have to chill sometime and I might as well chill with you. we can acknowledge those masks and admit that they're just a facade. maybe we get a little bit tipsy but it's gonna take some doing, we can control our descent into disinhibition, which utterly defeats the point.

Liquor is an undeniable statement. who are you. what are you drinking? bourbon is American from the grain to the glass. Whiskey is looser. tequila is the fun vodka wishes it was. gin needs a friend. are we bothering with shots or drinking a half inch at a time off the bottom of a pint glass? let's get drunk, tell me who you are.

fruit juice is who you actually are. fruit juice is who you are when you have a drink with the thirsty five-year-old who wants something sweeter than water. the juvenile slurping and disarming sweetness. Have a drink with me. we are people, we are humans, we are thirsty animal bodies and we can have some juice together.

wine is what your mother offers you when she realizes that you're an adult now too. a person just like her. an adult who can drink wine. wine is what you're drinking when she's realizing that she's gonna end up like her mother and wine is what you're drinking when you realize you're gonna end up like her.

milk is the midnight slurp from the jug when no one can see you. I saw you. I won't tell. gimme that. slurp. tomorrow when you get the Thai food that's soo good and too spicy you're gonna think about this.

Light beer doesn't taste like much. that's kinda the point. it's for the brittle white plastic lawn chair that's been degraded by the sun to an indescribable sort of texture that never gets clean. it's for that time when your dad tells you about watching a man's skull get crushed by an industrial hammer and you just have to blink at the evening air about it. anyways, join a fuckin union.

Water is what you offer your friend when she comes over to tell you she's leaving her boyfriend after the death of his brother. it's just the pair of you raw-dogging reality and all its consequences. it's the drink you have to cajole down your great aunt's throat when you're the last living relative who will take care of her. She doesn't remember how you're related, and honestly neither do you. Water is all your uncle will drink after rehab. Water is the only drink you feel confident offering your diabetic baby niece. Water is what you're drinking when you've already said all there is to say because you know the person you're drinking with so well. when you can stand up at the top of that mountain and have a drink to wash the dust from your throat and say, gee, what about that weather.

[brobonebang]

Tumblr masterlist: Round 3

A beautiful and varied masterlist of delights! Enjoy some bro boning in the key of/to the dulcet tones of/influenced by the general vibe of this very eclectic soundtrack:

Arctic Monkeys: I Wanna Be Yours

Asia: Heat of the Moment

David Bowie: Cat People

Glass Animals: Heat Waves

Iron & Wine: Resurrection Fern

Led Zeppelin: Whole Lotta Love

REO Speedwagon: Can't Fight this Feeling

Bob Seger: Night Moves

Sisters of Mercy: Under the Gun

Patti Smith: Because the Night

Taylor Swift: Safe and Sound

Richard Thompson: Dad's Gonna Kill Me

Years and Years: Worship