#wine-colored flowers tumblr

[amentet-draws]

Flor de Verao

[annama-art]

You can drink, you can feast There's beauty in your beast

[bunnakit]

so the general consensus across both twitter and tumblr (which to be fair, i got pretty limited responses on both BUT i did have some responses from my plant expert friends on twt) is that the petals in the bath are red chrysanthemums.

the color choice draws an obvious connection to vegas' wine, which could be referencing indulgence - but it also creates a vivid imagery of bathing in blood. the red is so stark against the porcelain tub and vegas' skin. we also see the way they stick to his skin, like brambles or thorns - vegas is dangerous, sharp, he draws blood and revels in it.

obvious imagery aside, then we have the meaning of the red chrysanthemum specifically. the most blatant is love and (deep) passion; a common theme for many red flowers. since we see vegas solo in the tub i'm going to say the petals are indicative of vegas' love and passion specifically, which means in the vegas pete trailer they were quite literally bathing in vegas' love and passion - he has so much, enough to fill a tub.

the general theme of chrysanthemums, without color as a factor, is trust, optimism, fidelity - and in Asian culture they signify life and rebirth. this is particularly significant when we recall the temple scene and the conversation of meeting again in the next life.

you can, if you'd like to make a bit of a stretch, also draw imagery to the red string of fate, and the pair of them are tangled in it.

the bath is essentially telling us vegas and pete have an intense, deeply passionate love (eventually) full of trust and hope that transcends lifetimes. they're soulmates, in every sense of the word.

OF COURSE, take my analysis with a grain of salt. i could be way off, i could just be drawing connections that are coincidences, believe whatever you wanna believe, etc. I JUST HAVE THOUGHTS.

tagging @vegasandhishedgehog bc i know you were curious

[pilferingapples]

(only answer this if you're in the mood for it of course) If you had to choose one colour and one single object for each of the five books in Les Miserables, which ones would you choose and (optionally) why?

oooh what a fun complicated question, I love this question! SHOCKINGLY I got long-winded about symbolism in the Long Winded Symbolism Book:

Tome 1: Fantine Color: Gold/ yellow gold for Fantine's hair, and also as a color strongly tied to wealth; no other volume is going to focus quite as much on finances as this chapter, from the Bishop and the wealth he rejects, to Valjean and his rising economic status, to Fantine and the commodification of her life to gain a few gold coins here and there. Object: a cart-wheel. I thought about the candle-sticks, and jet beads, and ships, and even teeth,but it's gotta be a cart-wheel. The wheels that carry the passengers and drivers of society but have no energy of their own; the wheels that crush anyone who falls underneath them, that take enormous force and energy and even demand the risking of life to move, break and splinter when needed to right injustice, and block all progress when stilled. The cart-wheels that stop when the horse dies, block off all hope of success at the Waterloo Inn, crush Fauchevelent and almost stop Valjean from saving his own soul. Frigging cart wheels.

Tome 2: Cosette Color: Black the color of a night in the dark forest, the inside of a grave or sunken road, Paris in the silence of a dark chase, a nun's habit. The color of despair, sure, the color of imprisonment, yes, but also the color of concealment, meditation, the unknown, peace. Object: I also considered: a water-bucket, a broken chain (for Cosette and Valjean both in this Book!), and Catherine the doll-- but it has to be a coffin. I'd say a tomb, but a coffin is more visually iconic and , of course, more immediately relevant to JVJ . LM is full of tomb and coffin imagery, but this is THE Tome of Tombs and coffins -- the impromptu tombs of the sunken road of Ohain, the chosen symbolic tomb of the convent itself (the nuns have to symbolically die and be reborn to fully enter!), the literal and ironically lifesaving coffin that Valjean is buried in. Tome 3: Marius MAN THIS ONE WAS SO HARD

Color: Green I REALLY AGONIZED ON THIS , it was Green or Blue though ; but the only real strong Blue imagery here is it being part of Marius' vision of Cosette

Green though! the color of growing things and spring and little seedlings just starting to grow, and flowers and Flora, and of Marius' secondhand coat , which looks black at night. New beginnings hidden in mourning , despite the losses of the past; flowers and growing things as signs of loss and loss as a beginning! It's what this Tome is all about, growth from grief and loss, and the grief and loss that comes from growth. Object: a piece of paper, folded into a letter. We won't get Marius' Epic Love Note until next Tome, but letters have enough of a starring role here as is! The letters Gillenormand burns to keep Marius apart from his father; the letter that doesn't burn that sends Marius to his father's deathbed; the note from his father that becomes his talisman (until lost); the letters that Thenardier sends to beg (and extort?) money, that connect Marius to Eponine and then Cosette again; letters as proof of status, proof that " we weren't meant to be like this--" ; letters as proof of identity, as love, as warnings, as traps. Letters as connection across time and generations and class and death. Tome IV: The Idyll and the Epic Color: Red Object: The Barricade look maybe both these options are stereotypical here but they are also correct. There's a whole song and years of Tumblr jokes about everything Red symbolizes and it's all in play here. It's desire and dawn and wine and warmth and death and revolution and warning and blood and fire and flowers and love. Especially love.

And the barricade is not just the single biggest Symbolic Object in the novel, it's especially the symbol of everything together, every loaded Symbolic Object in the whole book, wagon wheels and windows and doors and letters and stones and carts and yeah, probably coffins, the way this part of the novel is everyone's storylines coming together. A heap of joy and a heap of sorrows, all coming together to fight desperately for something better. Sometimes things are iconic for a reason.

Tome V: Jean Valjean Color: White White for dawn that's not the hour of waking; for Cosette's wedding gown; for a bottle of ink; for untouched marble and stone after the writing is washed away. Object : THE CANDLESTICKS I almost went with these for Tome I but no!! they belong here! in Valjean's Book! HIS symbols, that he finally gets to pass on , and oh geez if I get going on that I will NEVER post this, but you get it anyway right? you get it. It's gotta be the candlesticks, here at the end.

Thank you ! this was very fun to think about!!

[lighteez]

Kaeya (soft smut)

request: ahem ahem. may i request a blurb of soft sex with kaeya. yk what i mean, sex with real love. and it’s just so good they don’t wanna stop. :33 LMFAO (from tumblr)note: ofc i can!!! i had a small idea where they go on a small trip together and he rented a cabin near the waterfall and uh... well just read to find out ;) they have semi-public sex (?)... so like... yeahhh dw tho its soft and cute!! thanks for requesting!! p.s. i put her name as Loretta (he calls her lore tho)

It was a long day at work selling flowers and many cute flower decorations to houses due to Valentine's Day being today. She had completely forgotten about the holiday and took today as a regular day on the job. If she was honest, she felt absolutely horrible for not giving anything to her boyfriend, Kaeya, for Valentine's, so before closing up her shop, she made a card and placed it on a beautiful bouquet she made in less than thirty minutes.

In fact, she was proud of herself for making something cute for him, she just hoped he loved it and didn't ask for anything expensive or ask for sex when she was completely worn out. It was their first-time celebrating Valentine's Day. They started dating a day after Valentine's Day so it would almost be a full year being together with him.

Loretta couldn't wait to see him tomorrow first thing in the morning as she smelled his flowers and smiled widely. There was a slight skip to her step, as she got closer to her apartment. A light smile was plastered on her face, she couldn't wait to spend tomorrow with him since he asked for a day off as well.

She was finally at the doorstep of her apartment and opened the door with her key, walking inside and closing the door behind her. A loud gasp erupted from her mouth as she saw what was in front of her. Her apartment was filled with beautiful flowers of different colors and aromas as they decorated every single corner of her apartment. Each table that she had in her apartment; the kitchen counter, the small dining table, the coffee table, and even a small table where it held small flowerpots had white candles. The aromas of the flowers and the candles made her take in a deep breath and almost cried.

"K-Kaeya?! Are you here?" She yelled out as she left her keys hanging on the wall and dropped her bag and took off her coat, dropping them on the floor. The floor was filled with different kinds of petals, and in flower language, they all meant something similar to purity, love, romance, passion, age, and happiness. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked around everywhere to find Kaeya. She went down the hall to look into the bathroom, and it was a warm steamy bath ready to get inside, but no Kaeya in sight.

She tried the guest room, but the lights were off. Loretta closed the guest bedroom and turned around to see the door to her room slightly opened with flickering dim lights on the other side of the door. She took in a deep breath and sighed, walking to her room and opening the door to see her room cleaned up, compared to how she had it this morning, and decorated with flowers, candles and a small table nearby her window with wine and her favorite snacks there. She looked at her bed and saw two packed bags there.

Loretta came inside but didn't see Kaeya there at all. "Kaeya?! Are you here?" She asked as she walked to the bed and examined the bags. Both of them were opened and had tickets inside of them both.

"Welcome home, sweetheart~" Kaeya appeared from her closet dressed beautifully and a big bouquet of flowers in his hands with a small gift bag dangling from his wrist.

"Kaeya!" Loretta left her bouquet of flowers on the bed and ran to him with open arms, as Kaeya embraced her in a deep warm hug. Not letting each other go, Kaeya kissed her forehead before Loretta started talking. "I'm so sorry-"

"What? Whatever for?" He looked down at her with a smile, she looked up and her eyes softened a lot seeing his beautiful smile that captivated her the second she saw him.

"For completely forgetting to buy you something for Valentine's Day." She pouted and nuzzled her head into his chest as she felt bad. Their first Valentine's Day together and she forgot to buy him something, to top it off, she also forgot that tomorrow was Valentine's Day.

"Don't ever apologize, plus you came in here with a bouquet as well, right?" His eye glanced over to the bed where she left the bouquet of flowers for him. She nodded and looked up at him, she walked over to the bed and grabbed the flowers, then walking back to him.

"I did, but I made them last minute and I don't know if you'll-"

"These are gorgeous! I love them as much as I love you." He grabbed them and smiled at her warmly, looking at her with glistening eyes. "Though... I love you more~" he said cheekily as she chuckled at him and blushed.

"I'm glad you do. I wrote you a small letter in there, I hope that shows you that I do love you. Sorry that I can't properly express my love to you in words, so I did it on paper." She whispered only for him to hear as Kaeya's gaze softened while looking at the bouquet in his hands.

"I don't need any words from you to know you love me. You always buy me a gift every weekend, bring me food when I'm at work, or simply giving me your time. I appreciate everything you do, my love. I was actually worried that this small gift for Valentine's Day wouldn't be enough for you." He chuckled with his soft tone, making her pout.

"Sweetie, this is bigger than everything I've given you. I truly think I don't deserve such a caring boyfriend as you." I looked at him. He held his breath and shook his head in disagreement.

Kaeya then handed her the big bouquet of flowers and the small gift for her, as she grabbed them from his hands. "No, you deserve this and many more things. I still think that even with this beautiful bouquet you gave me, you still outdid yourself again." He smelled the flowers with such delicacy and grabbed the note from the flowers and opened it, resting the bouquet on his left arm as he began reading it.

After a few minutes, he sniffled and looked up at her with slight tears being on the verge of falling. "You really do surprise me each and every day, my love. I will always cherish this in my life. I also have another small gift besides the bouquet and the small gift i gave you. Did you see the tickets in our bags?" He smiled at her and wiped his tears, neatly placing the card back on the bouquet as he gently grabbed her by the shoulder and walked her to the bed.

His hand reached for the tickets and showed it to her. "I'm taking you on a trip. We're leaving tomorrow morning and come back home a day after our one-year anniversary." He smiled at her, "I'm sorry it couldn't be a longer time, but both of us have work, and I didn't want you to get in trouble with your boss." He told her with a soft and calm tone, hoping she would accept.

"Kaeya! That's absolutely beautiful! Where are we going?" She jumped up and down with her eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"That's a secret, but I'll assure you- You're going to love it." He leaned in and captured her lips into a soft heartwarming kiss. She smiled into the kiss, and once the kiss broke off, she laid her flowers and the gift on the bed as she grabbed him by the neck to kiss him deeper as he was caught off guard.

He dropped his bouquet on the bed as well and hugged her waist tightly, bringing her closer to him as they shared a sweet long passionate kiss. Their lips grazing across one another as he licked her bottom lip, she opened her mouth happily as he started to suck on her bottom lip. A small whimper left her lips as he bit down gently on her lip, her heart rate picked up at such an intimate kiss as he pulled away, leaving her wanting more of his lips.

"I love you, darling." He rested his forehead against hers and stared into her beautiful brown eyes. She sighed happily in content and hugged him as he did the same. Their warm embrace was everything to both of them.

"Thank you, Kaeya. You're wonderful, and I can't wait for tomorrow, I'll spend time with you without having interruptions." She whispered.

"I can't wait either, my love." He whispered back and sighed happily, "Ah, I forgot to say that I didn't pack your undergarments or something else. I just packed basic things we needed for tomorrow and your cute pj's that you wear all the time." He said referring to her usual puppy pants and a large t-shirt that fits her a bit too big, but to him she looked absolutely gorgeous.

A blush crept her face as she giggled. "Thanks, sweetie. I'll pack the rest. Do we need something classy? Like a dress or something? Or do I bring something for the cold? Like a coat or jacket?" She asked and went to her closet and opened the door to look at her different choices.

"Hm... we'll be going a warm place, so just bring a small sweater for when we go walking around. Bring a raincoat, and two gorgeous dresses. One for tomorrow at night and the other for the next day at nighttime as well." He stated walking closely to her and wrapping his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder as he placed a kiss to her cheek as she smiled.

"Okay, but why a raincoat? Does it rain a lot?" She asked and started to pick the dresses first.

"Not quite... you'll find out when you see it." He smirked and kept giving her chaste kisses around her cheeks, nose, chin, shoulder, and almost any place that showed skin. She hummed and smiled, nodding at what he said as she picked a dress.

It was a long evening dress, the color was emerald, green with a slit on the side. "Uhm- Should I bring this?" She whispered to him, showing him the dress. He just hummed and looked at it.

"Bring whatever you want, everything looks good on you, and it'll match well with where we're going." He smiled at her. Loretta ran her fingers over the corset that adorned it, it was off the shoulder, and it hugged all her right places, she only wore it once and nodded.

"Okay, I'll bring this. You never saw me with it, right?" She asked as he shook his head no.

"Sadly, I didn't. I can't wait to see you in it, you'll look beautiful as always~" He cooed, and his right hand tilted her face towards his as he captured her lips into another sweet kiss. She hummed sweetly into it and smiled, wrapping her arms around him once more.

After a few seconds they broke off the kiss with a small giggle. "If I don't stop kissing you, then we're probably missing that flight tomorrow morning." He laughed and his hand reached to her cheek and with his thumb he stroked her softly before pushing a hair strand of her hair back to her ear.

"You're right. I should pack quickly, so we can drink that wine and eat before sleeping. I can't wait for tomorrow!" She jumped on her tippy toes in excitement as she let him go and started choosing her clothes. Kaeya hummed and walked to the chair by the window and grabbed the wine bottle, opening it and pouring himself some along with her wine glass.

Loretta and Kaeya were discussing about tomorrow, they couldn't wait to spend time together in another place for them to explore together. As they chatted, they both drank as she walked back and forth, filling her bag with necessities and her clothes that she needs, until she realized that she bought two lingerie sets a few months back, she was initially going to use them for Christmas and New years, but her plans got ruined due to celebrating together with friends and family.

She put the lingerie sets in bags, and as she found them, she keeping Kaeya distracted with the talk as she focused on wrapping the sets in the second dress she chooses. Her thoughts ran wild, and if she's being honest, they haven't done any sexual intercourse since his birthday, so she's quite excited and hoped they can have another intimate moment these two days they're off for vacations.

The night was good as they finished packing and eating the slight snacks he prepared, as they walked around the apartment to turn off the candles before going to their room and kiss for a bit longer under the candlelight shining on their skin. They decided to stop kissing when Kaeya got a bit hard from this beautiful intimate moment between them. Both of them fell asleep soon enough with the aroma of the flowers relaxing them both and they drifted off into a deep sleep.

The next morning came around and Loretta was the first one to wake up, happily getting up from the bed and going to do her basic skincare and get herself ready to leave in two hours. When Kaeya woke up without her in his arms, he felt a sense of loneliness and got up from bed to look for her. "Oh hey, I totally forgot that I prepared a bath for you last night." He stated with a chuckle as Loretta smiled.

"Don't worry, when I got up, I drained the water and ran another bath. The water is still warm for you if you'd like to bathe before we leave!" She smiled, looking at him as she dried her hair with the towel.

"Thanks, love. I'll take the bath then." He came inside the bathroom, closing the door behind him and started to take off his clothes while she was standing near the mirror, she could clearly see his body. Her face became hot and red as she looked down at the skin. He noticed it and decided to teaser her a bit, walking towards her and wrapping his arms around her, letting his chest press against her back as she gulped hard. "I love you~" He whispered and kissed her neck more, softly sucking on her skin as she dropped her towel on the floor and her hands gripped his wrist softly, biting her lip.

"Don't tease me, go bathe! I'll... I'll go get ready!" She whispered yelled at him as she pulled slightly away before he could bite her neck a bit. He pouted and nodded.

"Fine. I'll be quick then." He stated as took off his pants and underwear, leaving him bare as she widened her eyes, seeing his body from the mirror as she couldn't stop looking at him. He caught her this time and a sly smirk appeared. "Like what you see, sweetheart?" He grinned and looked at her as she blushed hard and picked up her towel from the floor and darted out the bathroom as he stood there, chuckling at her shyness.

After what seemed like hours, they had finally arrived at their destination, and she was surprised by the destination. They arrived by taking a small little car to their cabin deep into the woods, and their scenery was a beautiful waterwall in front of the cabin. She got out the small car and gasped loudly with a huge grin in her lips. "Kaeya?! This is- This is gorgeous!" She screamed in happiness as she jumped up and down as Kaeya kissed her temple and hugged her.

"Surprise~" He whispered with a smile before continuing, "At night this car will come for us so we can go eat at the restaurant." He stated, as he left her side to get their bags from the car and waved goodbye to the driver. The driver left and they were finally alone near the cabin that rest high up the tree. It had the perfect amount of privacy and beautiful scenery for a romantic trip between them.

Both of them quickly walked up the steps and ended up on the balcony, the slide-in doors were closed as Loretta opened them and walked in happily. "The interior is beautiful as well! Kaeya, I absolutely love you!" She ran around the cabin happily, gasping at almost every little detail that the little house had. Kaeya just chuckled; he was proud that he made his lover happy with these small gifts. If he could, he would give her everything in the world if it meant he could make her smile and be happy.

"Darling, how about we go ahead and explore the ground a bit? We can see if there's a walking area behind the waterfall. It'll be a nice time to explore before we go eat, hm?" He sat on the large bed that was against the large windows as Loretta looked over to him.

"Yes! You know I love exploring!" She walked over to him and got her bag from the floor, placing it next to Kaeya as she took out her raincoat immediately. He chuckled at her excitement, a hint of mischievousness ran through his eyes as he grabbed his bag and was in search of his raincoat as well along with some other necessities.

As they finally had their things ready, Kaeya held her hand and lead her towards the waterfall to get a closer look. He held both their raincoats in his free arm while taking in a deep breath of the earthy smell all around them. If he's being honest... he always thought that both of them needed a break from the small city and just enjoy nature as it is, and he finally got the opportunity to show her this beautiful waterfall that he heard of from his colleagues.

They walked closer and noticed that small fishes were swimming around there happily. Loretta moved in closer to get a better view as she had a large smile on her face, she felt happy and peaceful just by looking at the fishes and being with her lover. "Kaeya, come here and look at the fishes! They're so cute and tiny!" She cooed as Kaeya crouched down to look at the fishes as well.

After a while, they finally got their raincoats on and found a small path that lead behind the waterfall. Droplets of water were falling from all over the place and there was a large a large area where Loretta saw a small picnic on the floor, waiting for them. "Did you do this?!" She screamed as she walked over to it and happily jumped again.

"Well, not me personally since I was with you this whole time, but I called the people who rented the cabins around here if they could set this place up for a small lunch. It's pretty over here, isn't it?" He said while looking around. There was the light of the water hitting them as vines were all around the ceiling and floor, with a few exotic flowers. Their small picnic seemed simple yet elegant for them both, it has enough privacy and the scenery was stunning.

A large squeal came out of her and ran up to him, hugging him as she jumped on him and wrapped her legs around his torso. "I simply adore you! You're the perfect man I could ever ask for!" She giggled and gave him tons of kisses all around his face as he cackled softly and held her closer.

"I adore you more." He gently whispered into her ear as he grabbed her waist gently, squeezing her as if she was going far away from him if he didn't. Kaeya absolutely adores her and always wants to spoil her the same way she spoils him. 

He kisses her ear and bites the earlobe, making her blush from his sudden action. However, he didn't stop there. Kaeya kept her close to him, running his hands on her sides, letting his breath tickle her ear as he started to kiss her jaw and down to her sweet spot she always enjoys. A soft moan escaped her lips, making him grin into her skin. 

She struggled to get off him now, but he held her tight, not wanting to let her go. "My dearest, can I keep kissing you like this?" He whispered while kissing her neck more, running his tongue around her neck and stopping to suck on her skin, grazing his teeth across her neck. As he bit down softly, she winced and shook her head.

"You'll leave marks there, and I don't want them to stay there after we get back. Plus, we're in public, so-"

"Okay I understand, sweetheart." He mumbled, kissing her once more in her neck before he pulled away and looked up into her eyes, giving her a smile.

"Thanks for understanding. I love you!" She pecked his lips once more before standing up on her own two feet and walked to the picnic as she took off her raincoat, setting it down on the floor. Loretta sat on the blanket and began taking out the contents from the basket, as Kaeya joined her on the blanket, sitting across from her with a heartwarming smile.

As the small lunch got settled, they began to eat while chatting about this place, their work, and overall, how they feel. It was such a nice time together, sitting out in nature privately and having a small picnic together that Kaeya planned. 

After a few hours they were safely back at their cabin as Kaeya called the workers from there that they will go to dinner soon enough. The workers on the other end of the line cheerfully agreed, and asked Kaeya if the small lunch was a success and he happily gave them an answer.

Loretta was getting ready for dinner, putting on her dress, makeup and doing her hair. It felt so refreshing to get ready in a different place other than her apartment, she has never felt so excited to do her makeup for once. As Kaeya finished talking to the workers, he came into the bathroom where she was doing her hair and leaned against the doorframe with a smirk. 

"My my~ you look stunning as always my beautiful diamond." He chuckled and sighed, looking at her from head to toe, wondering how she came to be his. "Y'know something? I always wondered how you ended up loving me, out of all the people in this world, you chose me." He paused when he sees her blush but decided to keep teasing her a bit more. "But I'm glad you chose me over any other guy, you don't know how happy you make me. I will always be yours even if you fall out of love with me. I will never stop loving you, sweetheart." 

Loretta placed her brush down and looked at him. "You always know what to say to make me blush, don't you?" She smiled, "Why would I choose someone who isn't the man of my dreams? Your personality, attitude, the way you're always calm even during a dispute between you and another person, you don't treat people badly and I just love your smile. There're so many amazing qualities about you, even your flaws look like perfections to me. Your looks are just a bonus." She chuckled as Kaeya blushed hard now in return as he didn't know what to do.

He stood there getting flustered at her words as she continued to brush her hair, he didn't say much since he was still freaking out. Whenever she compliments him, he's the one who turns out to be really flustered compared to her, it was amazing how easily she makes him love her more than before. 

"Cat got your tongue, my dear?" She giggled while looking at him from time to time as Kaeya tried to play it cool.

"No no, I was simply- thinking about dinner! Yeah... I hope the food is to your liking." He gave her a goofy smile as she laughed and nodded, deciding to stop teasing him.

"Alright, I'm sure the food will be good. We do have similar tastes when it comes to food." She stated as she finished getting ready and going through her bag to get her stuff ready. Loretta then remembered that she brought undergarments for after the dinner, making her freeze as she quickly turned to Kaeya. "Okay, I'm going to change now, go back outside! I'm going to dress in the bathroom!" She pushed him out before he could say another word and closed the door with the lock.

Kaeya stood outside the bathroom door with his eye wide open. Clearly shocked that she just shoved him, but he chuckled at her shyness whenever she changed in front of him, so he just went to also put the last finishing touches on his outfit and hair as he waited for her to come out.

In the bathroom, Loretta was putting on her lingerie as quickly as possible, feeling shy that she was wearing this under her dress. Especially, since it was going to be a romantic dinner at a good restaurant. As she finally slipped on her lingerie, she looked into the mirror and smiled awkwardly. It was a new feeling having her panties be so see through and having an opening in the middle of the fabric for "easy access" as the lady from the store had told her. Her bralette fit perfectly, but again, it was seen through, and she should see her cold nipples almost poking out if it wasn't for the fabric that held it back a bit. It brushed against her nipples softly as she tried her best to ignore a warm feeling in her stomach.

If she was being totally honest, she may feel awkward wearing this, but at the same time she felt so sexy in it. Most of all, she was eager to see Kaeya's reaction when they come back from dinner.

After seeing herself, she quickly put on her emerald green dress on and adjusted it. Zipping it from the back was a challenge, but she didn't want to ask Kaeya for help since she knew he would see her bralette showing from her back. Once she got it zipped, she put on her heels and checked in the mirror once more before smiling at how pretty she looked for once. 

Taking in a deep breath, she opened the door and walked out the room, suddenly hearing a loud gasp as she looked up and saw Kaeya standing by a mirror fixing his hair, his jaw was open, and he didn't move or say anything at all. 

"Does it look-"

"It looks perfect..." He whispered while walking towards her and looking at her up and down. "My god... are you sure you're not a goddess who fell from the heavens?" He whispered as he took her hand and spined her around, causing her to get flustered at his words. Each time she wears new clothes or even something simple as a new haircut, he always says words like goddess, my muse, my love, and so many other things that makes her feel loved.

He brought her back to look at him as he grabbed her hips and pulled her into him, causing her to gulp while looking up at him with a loving gaze. "Thanks, my love... You always know what to say to make me feel loved." She whispered as he nodded and went in for a sweet passionate kiss. 

The kiss was tender and warm, as her arms wrapped around his shoulders to pull him deeper into the kiss. He was swooning at this point, and if he was honest, he wanted to have dinner with her in the cabin, but he knew that his will to show her off to everyone was too strong. 

As the kiss came to an end, he pulled away breathlessly. Pressing one last kiss to her forehead and looking into her eyes with adoration. "Let's go now. The person came to pick us up to drive us to the restaurant." He whispered as she hummed and nodded, also being left breathless from that kiss.

They headed out their cabin as they see the car parked there.

----------------------------------------

When dinner was finally over, they headed back to their cabin, but they just couldn't help themselves in kissing each other in the balcony once the car drove away. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves the whole night, she was teasing him a bit as well as him teasing her.

Once they had gotten to the balcony and saw the car drive away, they both immediately crashed their lips together and their hands were on each other. Kaeya's hands were on her thigh, opening the dress slit to caress her bare thigh as his other hand was on her waist, pulling her warm body towards him as he pressed her against the large window of their cabin. He placed his leg in between her legs as she felt his thigh brush against her sensitive area causing her to moan.

Loretta's hands were on his chest, taking off his tie slowly, then going to unbutton his vest until her hands were resting on his abdomen. Once his vest was opened, she rubbed her hands from his abdomen to his chest and resting against his shoulders, as she pulled him closer to her as well. He just groaned into her lips as he squeezed her thigh softly and licked her lips.

She granted him access, and opened her mouth a bit as Kaeya darted his tongue into her mouth. He was exploring her mouth as their tongues both danced together in harmony, their breaths quickening with each movement that passed between them. It was just pure love and ecstasy that they were feeling in the moment. 

His hand that was on her thigh went higher up her dress as he felt her bare ass on his fingers. He pulled away from the kiss and raised his eyebrow at her, "Are you not wearing... anything underneath that dress?" A small grin formed on his lips as she blushed and shook her head.

"I am wearing something underneath... It's just a different type of- underwear." She smiled nervously at him as he bit his lip to hold in his moans. 

He just nodded and quickly dug into his pockets of his pants to fish out the keys and opened the door in one swift movement, pulling her inside the cabin and closing the door shut behind him as he turned his full attention to her. "May I have permission to... see this different type of- underwear?" His gaze left her eyes to travel down her body and linger at the end of the dress slit that was on her upper thigh. 

She bit her lip and grabbed his hands, leading him to the bed and pushing him to sit down on the bed quickly. She took a few steps back and finally responded, "You may see them..." She whispered as her hands went to her zipper and easily pulled it down as she pulled her dress down, letting it fall on the ground with a soft thud, letting it pool under her feet as she stepped out of it and was left with her lingerie and her heels. Kaeya's jaw fell down once more, looking at how gorgeous she looked.

The lingerie set was simply hugging her curves and making her breasts look beautiful under the moonlight that shined through the large windows. Kaeya didn't say anything as he kept looking at her from head to toe, thanking every god in the universe for letting him live to see such a beauty in front of him.

Loretta knew that gaze, it was the same gaze he gave her the first time they had sex. She blushed hard but decided to walk up to him and give him a bit of a tease. Her hand reached for his chin and made him look up at her while she was standing in between his legs. "Darling, my eyes are up here~" He whispered as Kaeya was lost in his wild thoughts. Dare I say- his dirty thoughts.

"I know, it's just... wow." He stated as he finally met her gaze, and clearly, he was flustered enough that he didn't see that was drooling slightly. Loretta chuckled and wiped off his drool with her thumb.

"You're drooling, Kaeya." A small chuckle left her lips as Kaeya shivered when she said his name. He didn't hold back anymore as his hands went to grab her hips and push her to the bed, pinning her body against the bed sheets as he went on top of her. 

"Please... Stop teasing me, you've been teasing me ever since we got to the restaurant, and I can't hold back much more... please... let's make love." He whispered, not breaking eye contact with her as his gaze was soft, full of love, yet passionate and full of lust. She shivered underneath him and nodded.

The second she nodded; their lips connected once more as Loretta started taking off his clothes as quickly as possible. Wanting nothing more than to finally have Kaeya deep inside of her. He felt her urgency and somehow pulled his shirt away, leaving him bare, as his hands went to his pants and started taking off his pants and shoes in the process. Shoving them down as he stood up and took them off, going on top of her quickly and putting one hand on her thigh, slowly opening her legs as he kept kissing her.

His fingers squeezed her inner thigh as they slithered up to her cunt. He opened the slit of the panties and pressed a finger on her clit, causing her to moan into his lips. A groan left his mouth as well as his dick was hard and throbbing, but he decided to take things slower and wanted to savor every moment with her. 

Kaeya broke away from the kiss to start kissing her neck, as she threw her head back with a mewl. Her hands were roaming on his chest, arms, and shoulders as her urgency made her wrap her legs around his hips, but he stood firm and whispered in her neck. "I know you want me inside of you, but I want to savor this moment with you... May you let me do that?" He mumbled in her neck, kissing and sucking softly as she blushed.

"Y-yeah..." She licked her lips and let her legs fall off his waist as he thanked her over and over again, being grateful for her. 

He got to work on kissing her neck on both sides, her jaw, her cheeks, her temples, her nose, literally peppering kisses everywhere he could reach before going down to her chest. His hand on her cunt started rubbing her clit slowly as she kept her legs opened enough for his fingers to pleasure her fully. She inhaled at the sensation of his fingers pressing and circling her clit so slowly with just enough pressure. 

Loretta just couldn't contain her whimpers and moans as her eyes looked down to see Kaeya blissfully kissing around her bralette, teasing her and sucking softly on her chest. He felt her eyes on him as he looked up at her with a smirk before going down to her nipple, licking it through the lace bralette as she gasped at the sensation of his tongue rubbing the fabric against her hardened nipple.

"I love seeing your reactions, sweetheart~" He cooed softly and licked her other nipple as she looked away and bit her lip. She felt his hand from her waist go behind her back and unhooked the bralette, pushing it upwards as he cupped her breast and started to lick her nipple softly, flicking his tongue in a slow motion as he picked up the movements. Her moans were music to his ears as his cock twitched in the air. Kaeya bit her nipple a bit before he closed his lips around her breast, sucking it slightly as he looked up to see her reactions. 

Her face was in pure pleasure as her eyebrows creased in the middle, her lips parted open as her chest heaved up and down from the wet sensation on her hard nipple. As he pulled away, he blew air onto it and that made her tremble under him. Her legs were quivering as she felt herself grow impatient to have him inside of her. Kaeya simply moved on to her other breast and did the same things. He savored her as his hand on her cunt stopped moving her clit, he pinched her clit in his fingers before dragging his fingers to her entrance. 

"Look at you," He hummed around her nipple, whispering softly as she gripped his shoulder a bit, "You taste amazing and your reactions are driving me crazy, my love." 

"K-Kaeya... Please~" She begged and looked at him once more. Her cheeks were flushed as her bottom lip was a bit red from all the biting, she did to them and glistening from how much she licked her lips. 

"Please what? Is there something you need?" He whispered, clearly enjoying how much she shivered underneath him. 

"Please, I need you." She whispered back as Kaeya groaned around her nipple and shook his head.

"No, sweetheart. You said I could enjoy my time savoring you, now you have to wait, enjoy this, yeah? I swear I'll pleasure you so well with my fingers too, hm?" He smiled as he moved up and trapped her lips in a deep kiss again as his hand kept pinching her nipple as the other hand was rubbing her wetness around her cunt, spreading it evenly until his fingers and palm were coated with her wetness.

Loretta only moaned into the kiss and kept her arms closed around his neck to kiss him deeply as she nodded her head in response, sucking on his lips and his tongue, loving how much he took his time with her. 

His fingers finally entered her hole which made her groan into his lips as she opened her legs more. He digs one finger inside and started spreading her hole so he could push in his second finger. Once she was opened enough, he put in a second finger inside and curled it to her sweet spot making her throw her head back with a whine, he quickly kissed her again, but her back arched a bit making her body press against him as he grunted.

A small thrust in and out was simply divine to her, she knew it wasn't the same as his cock, but his fingers curling up made her lose her thoughts a bit as well. She enjoyed how his pace was going, it was going soft at first before picking up the pace and slowing it down as his thumb slowly rubbed her clit which made her bite down on his lip a bit. 

"My love, please- calm down, I'm not even inside you yet and my cock is twitching... dear god." He groaned in her mouth as she whimpered and nodded, continuing to kiss him more.

Kaeya continued his finger movements in and out of her, he kept pleasuring her until he couldn't handle how hard he was. It was almost painful, so he took his fingers out of her and broke the kiss. "I'll enter you now... Let me just grab a cond-"

"Just go inside, I don't mind if you burry your seed inside me. I don't mind having your child, I just want you, Kaeya." She brough her hand down to his cheek and caressed it softly as she pressed a small peck on his lips. 

"Are you sure? I don't mind starting a family with you, but I've heard that women suffer all throughout their pregnancy. I don't want you to be scared or leave-"

"Kaeya... Thanks for your concern sweetheart, but I'm sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you even if we have kids or not. If nothing happens then I'm fine and happy with it, if I do end up pregnant then I'll be happy because I know we'll both try our best to be good parents. I just want you as a whole, my love... If you don't want kids this early then yo-"

"No! I want to be your husband, I want to be a father, I want a future with you. Of course, I want kids with you. I'm just making sure you're okay with this." He leaned into her hand and smiled, going down to kiss her passionately and sweetly, this kiss remained the best kiss throughout their life.

It was pure of love, confidence, trust, and so much more. They both trusted each other that no matter what happened, they would get through it together. It was such a happy moment for the both of them that it was engraved in their memories for life.

"If we're both agreeing to this, then please make love to me~" she said in the kiss as Kaeya hummed and gave one last thrust with his fingers before grabbing his cock and spreading his own precum evenly on his cock.

"Okay my love, I love you so much. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." He whispered into the kiss with a smile as he looked down at his cock, wanting to make sure it was lined up in her entrance. "Ready?" He asked her as she nodded with a genuine smile. 

He kissed her nose as he pressed his tip inside her making her bite her lip, holding in a whimper as Kaeya stopped a bit, "Does it hurt?" He asked sweetly as she shook her head.

"No, push a bit more." She blushed saying that as Kaeya nodded and pushed in a bit more, looking into her eyes to see if she was in pain or if she was being pleasured. Little by little his cock finally slipped inside her fully as he praised her and kissed her forehead, shoving her hair to the side and caressed her face.

"You're taking it so well my love. I'll let you adjust, okay? Tell me when you want me to move." He kissed her lips as she nodded, wrapping her legs around him while she adjusted to his size and grith. 

While kissing, she moved her hips, "You can move now." She smiled into the kiss as Kaeya grunted and slowly pulled out, leaving his tip inside before pushing it back in slowly making sure it slipped in well. He groaned at her wet hot walls throbbing with anticipation as Loretta moaned sweetly near his ear.

He kept repeating the process over and over again, until his pace was good enough to make her grip his shoulders and throwing her head back. Kaeya loved the sight underneath him as he picked up his pace more and more, having both of them grunt in pleasure. It was pure bliss as they both enjoyed it, his hands grabbing her waist as he started picking up his pace while he kept kissing her. 

His cock was throbbing inside of her as her walls eagerly sucked him in again. The atmosphere was amazing to have love, the large windows behind the bed as the waterfall was gorgeous under the moonlight. Their skin was being illuminated by the moon as their sweet voices filled the cabin along with the sound of skin on skin. Their sweat melted into one and they couldn't stop making love to one another.

Their caresses were precious in this moment. A slight touch and they both shivered from the amount of pleasure they felt in that moment, his pace kept teasing them both as he went fast one moment then went down, putting in a long fast thrust into her until she was losing her sanity.

His mouth was kissing every inch of her skin as if she was a delicious meal he never had. Praising her, telling her so many beautiful things into her ear as she replied back with orgasmic noises that almost made Kaeya cum deep inside her. The slight edging he did made them both lose control in the passionate love making in the bed as she squeezed her legs around him to pull him even deeper inside.

"Oh god... I'm close, love... Are you ready?" Kaeya whispered into her neck as she nodded, gripping his shoulders and felt her stomach tie up in a deep pleasurable knot.

"I-I'm close too, make me yours~" She moaned in his ear as Kaeya picked up his pace and kept fucking her more and more deep into the mattress. Her legs were jelly now as he kept her legs wrapped around him tighter as he pounded her, making her arch her back and softly dragging her nails across his back softly as he groaned.

His lips kissed hers again, wanting to cum deep inside her while kissing her as she returned the hot kiss back, their saliva was all over their mouths as the heated kiss felt magical when they both came hard on each other. His essence reaching the deepest part of her as her seed covered his cock fully, slowly spilling onto the sheets and their skin as he didn't stop cumming hard, dirtying her lingerie in the process. 

After calming down they both looked into each other's eyes and laughed as they pecked their lips. "You're amazing, darling. This felt so good." Kaeya said, caressing her body softly as she nodded.

"Yeah, it really was worth it. I loved it, Kaeya. Thanks for your kind words and for your honesty." She smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Anything for you, my heart. I was going to propose to you tomorrow on our anniversary, but... I can't hold it anymore; I want to marry you... Will you marry me, sweetheart?" He said with a smile, his gaze was so loving, so true, it felt like a fairy tale being with him.

[sayosdreams]

Picture Us (Together Forever)

Word Count: 26,115

ACOTAR masterlist

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TW: mentioned past homelessness, mentioned past abuse, referenced death & suicide

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A/N: For @simpingfornestaarcheron, one year late. A huge thank you to @bookstantrash for all your help with everything from brainstorming to beta reading and editing! You're the reason I actually managed to complete this fic. Credit @vidalinav for the 'Cassian's love is loud' concept, which is so ingrained in his character for me that I always end up including it.

I know I haven't posted anything for over a year and a half — I've been busy with college and have gotten into other fandoms — but I hope this long, fluffy fic makes up for my absence. Honestly, it's probably the fluffiest thing I'll ever write of this length. Also, the number of blocks in this post exceeded the Tumblr post limit, so I edited the paragraph layout to fit. The original version is posted on ao3. Please enjoy!

Present day

“Hey, sorry I got a little late,” Nesta announced as she stepped into the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, Cassian. “I got held up at work because some people apparently think my job is to do everything,” she explained as she took off her coat and undid her scarf. “Eris now seems to believe that I’m a secretary and that it’s my job to deal with all the parents who want to sign their kids up for lessons or have questions about our hours. Can you believe that Vassa expects me to cover Eris’ class next Tuesday during my lunch break because he ‘has to be out of town to go apple picking’? And then, to top it off, Briallyn came to talk to me about how some people want the rehearsals for The Firebird to be at a different time. Just because I’m one of the principal dancers doesn’t mean I coordinate the rehearsal times! I don’t know why she doesn’t just talk to the director or choreographer, honestly. It’s so-”

Nesta turned around and fell silent, her eyes widening as she took in the sight before her. The living room was decorated with candles and flowers. Rose petals were lined up on the floor, creating a walkway that led to the coffee table, which was covered in a white tablecloth. Behind the table stood Cassian, wearing a wine-red colored button-down shirt, black pants, and a soft smile. 

“Cassian?” she asked, her confusion evident in her tone. Had she forgotten some important occasion? Nesta quickly ran through the list in her head. But, no, it wasn’t either of their birthdays, or their anniversary, or Valentine’s Day… So why had Cassian done all this? Sure, he had given her flowers ‘just because’ or organized impromptu date nights before, but this was on a whole different level. “What’s going on?”

Cassian’s grin split into an open-toothed smile, even as intensity and slight nervousness swam in his eyes. “Nesta, we met five years ago in the line for tickets to the Bone Carver concert, when you yelled at me for letting my friends cut the line. I turned around to yell right back, and the moment I did, my life changed. You’ve made my life so much better, in so many ways I can’t even find the words to describe. Every day with you is like a dream come true. We’ve made so many fantastic memories together over the years.”

He pulled the tablecloth off the coffee table in a sweeping motion. Nesta inhaled sharply as she took in the collection of polaroid pictures, recalling different special moments in their relationship. The collection was decorated with small doodles that Cassian had clearly drawn himself. 

She sank down to her knees in front of the table. 

“Cassian…” Nesta whispered, “This is beautiful.” 

Her eyes drifted across the paper, until they came to rest on a single photo. Her hand reached out as if she wanted to caress the image, but floated just a hair’s breadth away from it like it was too precious to bear her touch. 

Cassian kneeled down too, and glanced down at the photo she was looking at. He laughed, “Oh, yes. The bookstore date, where you used me as a human bookshelf.”

The corners of Nesta’s lips turned up. “Listen, I just wanted you to know what you were really signing up for.”

Cassian chuckled.

__________

Five years ago

“Where are you taking me?” Nesta asked for the sixth time. 

Cassian once again responded by shushing her, his eyes fixed on the road. 

Nesta sighed. Cassian had somehow managed to drive without using a GPS (a novel feat for him) so she couldn’t even peek at it to figure out their destination. Cassian clearly hadn’t considered how impatient Nesta was when he’d decided to plan a surprise for her. 

Nesta knew she should just sit back in her seat, relax, and enjoy whatever Cassian wanted to surprise her with, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited — of course she was, and she was touched that Cassian had gone through all this effort just to plan a surprise for her. But Nesta couldn’t help but be filled with anxiety. She didn’t always react well to situations she was thrust into unexpectedly, and she wished she at least had a hint about where they were going so that she could prepare accordingly. She didn’t want to start freaking out and push Cassian away, destroying the tentative relationship they had just started to build. 

She trusted Cassian and knew he’d never intentionally put her in a situation that made her uncomfortable. They had met about three months ago and he’d asked her out soon after. Although they hadn’t made anything official yet, Cassian was always so caring and kind to her, more than any of her exes. He always made her laugh and brought her Earl Grey tea with just the right amount of 2% milk. He’d given her his scarf when he’d noticed that she was cold and had never asked for it back. He loved to play with her hair, creating intricate braids as his hands tenderly massaged her head. His body was honed from ice hockey training and he towered over her, and yet he had never once made her nervous or uncomfortable, even when they had been two strangers arguing in line. 

Still, there were many things that Nesta had yet to tell Cassian about. While his gentle sweetness was making her walls come down, bit by bit, she was struggling to open up fully. She didn’t want to risk scaring him away and ruining everything they’d created. 

All in all, she knew Cassian would never try to make her uncomfortable, but there were many things that could set her off that he didn’t know about. If she started freaking out, and she lost him… It was stupid of her to get so attached to someone so quickly. He wasn’t even her boyfriend, for gods’ sake! Only her closest friends knew they were together. They weren’t keeping their relationship a secret, exactly, but telling everyone would put pressure on their relationship that they weren’t ready for. 

Cassian’s best friend, Rhysand, was dating Nesta’s youngest sister, Feyre. The two of them had met on a dating app called Bond a couple weeks after Nesta and Cassian’s encounter. They’d fallen head over heels in love with each other, and had moved in together after just one month. Feyre kept texting the Archeron sisters’ group chat about how much she loved Rhys and how she wanted to marry him. 

Nesta and Cassian needed to take their relationship at their own pace — meaning much, much slower than Feyre and Rhys. If Nesta and Cassian made it official and then broke up later… well, Nesta didn’t want to have to deal with gossip and pitying glances whenever they were at the same place together on top of everything else. Plus, she knew her sisters were nosy romantics who would start asking about going on double dates, planning Nesta and Cassian’s wedding, and making lists of their future babies’ names. 

She couldn’t deal with all of that right now. When her last serious relationship had ended, she’d been left with bruises, a mountain of trust issues, and not much else. It had taken her a long time to put herself back out there again — to trust others with her body, much less her heart. Cassian had proved himself a worthy candidate, willing to be patient with her and put her at ease to help her let her guard down.

What it boiled down to was that she cared about him, far more than she probably should, and it scared the crap out of her. But she was even more afraid of losing him.

“Alright, we’re here!” Cassian’s voice cut through her spiraling thoughts. “Close your eyes.”

Nesta took off her seatbelt and did as he asked. Her heart beat erratically in her chest. She listened to the click of Cassian unbuckling his seatbelt and the boom of his car door shutting. A cold breeze hit her as her door opened. She felt Cassian’s large, calloused hand slide into hers, guiding her as she stepped out of the car. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked. 

“Mhmm,” she replied vaguely. 

A boom sounded, followed by a quick beep beep, indicating Cassian had locked the car.

“We’re almost there, I promise.”

He stood behind her and his hands came to rest on her shoulders, gently turning her to the right and then guiding her path. They walked in silence. Nesta was glad she’d thought to put on a sweater and a jacket as the chilly autumn wind swept past them again. 

Cassian suddenly stopped her and turned her body to the left. 

“Okay,” he said, leaning down to whisper in her ear. His breath was hot against her neck. She shivered. “We’re here.” 

She opened her eyes, and gasped. 

A blue sign with the words “Pegasus Book Company” hung above a blue-framed door. A bell chimed as she entered the shop. Pegasus Book Company was one of the hidden gems of Prythian. Despite being an independent bookstore, it was quite large and well-stocked in many different genres. They also displayed artwork from local artists, which they changed every season. Most of all, the owner, Helion Spell-Cleaver, was said to be amazing at giving book recommendations. Nesta had always wanted to visit Pegasus, but she’d never found the time to drive all the way to Hemera District just to visit one store. She had only mentioned it to Cassian once in the passing. She couldn’t believe that he’d remembered and done this for her. 

“Cassian…” She whispered, her voice full of awe and gratitude. She turned to find him with an uncharacteristically shy smile on his face. 

“Surprise,” he said softly. “Sorry that I made you wait to know where we were going. I wanted to surprise you, but I know I made you kind of nervous when I didn’t tell you where I was driving to. Is it ok? I’m sorry if it felt like I was abducting you. I just wanted to, uh, not ruin the surprise.”

Nesta couldn’t find the words to explain how happy his surprise had made her. Instead, she pressed her lips to his and let the kiss express her feelings. 

When they finally pulled apart, her lips formed a smile that she couldn’t suppress if she tried and she added a quiet and genuine “Thank you.” 

She hoped he could read the emotions in her voice and her eyes to understand how much the thoughtful gesture meant to her. His nervous ramble, while unnecessary given how fantastic the surprise was, just showed how much he cared about her. She didn’t know how to handle such affection and kindness. She felt as though she’d cry or melt or burst with everything he made her feel. He treated her as though she were precious and beautiful, worthy of compassion and care, like her company was a gift. As though she mattered.

Later, as he carried the numerous books she selected and listened attentively to her rants about different characters, books, and authors, she was overwhelmed by the pure joy she felt and some other emotion that it was far too soon for her to name. 

Cassian was special — she’d known it since the moment they’d met, when her sharpness had intrigued him rather than pushed him away. He was so perfect and amazing, and yet cared about her so much that she was still in disbelief. The dread that he would wake up one day and realize that she wasn’t worth the trouble was constantly present, and made her hesitant to give him her all for fear of him shattering her completely. 

But it was already too late. 

She wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all herself, by not putting a label on things. It didn’t change how much she cared about him or how she didn’t want to think about him ever leaving her life. It was only hurting her, and more importantly, him. Nesta knew that her fears and her trauma often made her struggle to express her emotions. She never wanted Cassian to doubt how much he meant to her. Yet, it always felt like Cassian was the one doing things for her: he was the one who had asked for her number, the one who usually texted first and planned their dates, and the one who gave her meaningful gifts and surprises. He never hesitated to show or tell her how much he cared. 

What if he didn’t know? She wondered suddenly. What if he genuinely thought that Nesta didn’t care as much — that their relationship didn’t mean as much to her as it did to him? The despair that the thought brought her was shocking in its intensity. 

So as Cassian sat down in the driver’s seat, ready to turn on the car, Nesta blurted out, “Wait!” 

He turned towards her, his face showing his surprise and concern. She acted instinctively, reaching over to pull his hands towards hers and then interlacing their fingers. She took a deep breath as she steeled her resolve. Cassian’s thumb slowly moved back and forth over her hand in a soothing gesture. He’d evidently noticed her nerves. His soft, silent support served to strengthen her determination that she had to do this. 

“Cassian, thank you so much for today,” she began. “It was such an amazing, thoughtful surprise. I really, really enjoyed it.” 

She paused, considering her next words.

“The past few months have been incredible. I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you. And I-”

“Wait! Nesta, please don’t,” Cassian interrupted. His body had gone tense and his eyes were dull in a way she’d never seen before. His hands had grown sweaty in hers. 

Nesta felt her heart drop. It was too soon, wasn’t it? Oh, gods, what had she been thinking? She’d misread the whole situation. If Cassian had wanted to put a label on their relationship, he would have asked. It was incredibly selfish of her to assume that she was the only one who’d had hangups about it. He would also be put in an awkward situation with Rhys and Feyre. And really, she and Cassian had only known each other for three months. Why had she thought that she should do this? As usual, she was ruining everything by moving too fast and being too intense. 

Cassian continued, his voice choking up slightly, “I know I can be- it can be too much, but I promise, I’ll- we can- this can be whatever you want. We can talk about it and I’ll- I can reel it in. I mean, I’ll respect your boundaries and, uh, wishes and, just. Please, we don’t need to end this completely, just- I-”

He cut himself off as Nesta untangled one of her hands from his. 

“No, wait,” he rushed, his eyes widening in alarm, “if that’s what you really want, then of course I’ll respect it, I just wanted- but- I mean, can we at least stay fr-”

He was cut off again, this time by Nesta’s pointer finger pressing into his lips. 

“Cassian,” she said, in a strong, confident, and reassuring voice, “will you be my boyfriend?” 

His expression morphed instantly, shock and joy flitting over his face.

Nesta waited patiently, sitting in silence, awaiting his answer. She watched as Cassian’s free hand moved to his thigh, which he pinched more than once. Finally, he met her eyes. His mouth was barely curved upwards, as if he was too astonished and emotional to form a smile. 

“Yes,” he replied. 

Cassian’s hand came up to rest ever-so-gently on her cheek as their lips met for a kiss. As they continued to get lost in each other, kissing in the middle of the day in a car parked on the side of a street, Nesta knew that this was what all those fairytales and romance novels were made of.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe you actually thought I was going to break up with you,” Nesta laughed, shaking her head. “Right after I complimented you, too.”

Cassian shrugged. “It’s a foster kid thing,” he said lightly. “If someone’s being too nice, it just feels like they’re trying to let you down gently.” 

Nesta leaned across the table to press a kiss to his cheek in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. 

“I’m never going to leave you, stupid,” she said. “You’re stuck with me forever.”

Cassian smirked. “I sure hope so.” 

His eyes moved left to the next polaroid and his hand followed suit, coming to rest right above the image. 

“Do you remember that day?” he asked, tapping his pointer finger on the table. “I was so nervous.”

“What? Why were you nervous? I was the one performing!”

__________

Five years ago

“Do you think the tie is too tight?” Cassian asked, pacing in front of the bathroom mirror. “Did I do it wrong? Fuck, do you think it’s too colorful for a formal event? Maybe I should change it to black?”

“Breath, Cassian, breath,” Azriel replied, half-serious. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Az,” he pleaded.

“You look fine, Cassian. It’s going to go great. Don’t worry.”

Cassian was still fiddling with his tie. “And you don’t think the color is too much?” 

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “It’s burgundy.” 

Cassian continued to questioningly stare at Azriel.

Az sighed. “The color is fine. The tie is perfect.” He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. “Let’s get going.” 

“Oh, shit, are we late?” Cassian scrambled to grab his suit jacket, his keys, and his wallet. Where were those flowers he’d bought? “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spent so much time worrying about my fucking tie.” He could have sworn he’d left them on the dining table, but that was empty save for the collection of books, papers, and notebooks that Azriel had organized into neat piles. Cassian checked the kitchen counters, only to find them empty, too. Had he put them in his room? He really needed to get more organized. They were already getting late, and he was going to further delay them. “You know what, just let me- You go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later, once I find the bouquet.” 

“Cassian. Cassian!” Azriel snapped his fingers. Cassian paused his frantic search to look at Azriel, who was carrying Cassian’s bouquet in his arms along with two others. “I’ve got it, see? Now, let’s go.” 

Before Cassian could open his mouth, Az added, “We’re not late, don’t worry.” 

As they entered Bryaxis Hall, where the performance was being held, Cassian expected to feel the last of his nerves disappear. 

As soon as he stepped inside, he realized how wrong he was. 

The hall was decadent. The ceiling was higher than a three-story house, the floor was marble with a simple yet elegant carpet running down the center, and Greco-roman pillars with intricate designs lined the hall. A chandelier hung above the grand staircase. The walls were decorated with high relief panels, each portraying a distinct myth or story. 

He followed Azriel up the stairs in silence. He was too consumed by the message every piece of architecture and decoration seemed to be yelling at him: he didn’t belong here. 

It wasn’t like he’d never been to a fancy party before: the NHL had plenty of galas, but even when he was surrounded by his teammates and friends, he always felt like a fraud in a suit. 

Cassian wasn’t meant for luxuries and refinement. He’d grown up dirt poor, even when his mother had still been around. After her death, he’d essentially lived out of a backpack. He’d even spent a few nights out on the streets when he’d been placed in particularly bad foster homes. Until he’d met Shirina, Rhysand’s mother, he had never even eaten chocolate — at least that he could remember. 

He’d only been to watch ballet once before. Shirina had insisted that they see the Nutcracker for Yule, as that had been a tradition in her family. Rhys, being the eleven-year-old that he was, had complained the whole way about being dragged there against his will. Ayla, Rhys’ younger sister, had grumbled about having to watch the Nutcracker again, instead of seeing something different like Swan Lake. Cassian had remained silent. At twelve, he didn’t want to admit that he was interested and excited, for fear of appearing uncool. Still, he was curious and was glad that Shirina had remained insistent despite her children’s protests. 

The ballet had enraptured him. He sat there, amazed by the graceful movements, the silent jumps, the whip-fast pirouettes, and the perfectly synchronized motions. 

Now, as he glanced down at the playbill, he felt completely unqualified to be here. He had no idea what La Bayadère was about — quite frankly, he wouldn’t even know how to pronounce it if Nesta hadn’t told him. He didn’t know any of the ballet terminology, either. How was he going to tell Nesta what he thought of the performance if he didn’t even know how to verbalize it? 

He glanced over at Azriel, hoping to gain some insight. Azriel was close friends with Nesta and two of Nesta’s ballerina friends, Gwyn and Emerie, who were also in tonight’s ballet. Right as Cassian was about to ask, the lights dimmed and the audience fell silent. 

Cassian worried whether he would be able to focus on the performance with all of his anxieties swirling around his head. Nesta deserved his full attention — she had been practicing for this for so long, and had poured her heart and soul into her ballet. There were so many times when she’d been late to dates, staying back in her studio to practice a move that she wanted to perfect. 

But Cassian needn’t have worried. The moment the ballet began, he was completely in its thrall. All his thoughts fled. He sat there, mesmerized, as the ballerinas danced. When Nesta entered, his breath caught in his throat. She was radiant on stage, looking like a goddess, a queen, and a warrior-princess all wrapped up in one. 

After the show, when he handed her the bouquet and told her how incredible she’d been on stage, her expression made it all worth it. Her cheeks, flushed with exhaustion, were rounded as her mouth split into a jubilant smile. Her eyes were awed, as if she was so grateful for his words and presence but couldn’t quite believe he was here. Despite all of his anxieties, he wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. 

And as Cassian drove home, he realized he couldn’t wait to see Nesta’s next ballet performance. 

__________

Present day

“It really did mean the world to me that you came, you know,” Nesta admitted. “And I was so nervous about what you’d think.”

“Of course I was impressed! Anyone in their right mind would be.” His comment was light. There was no need to mention that Nesta’s ex, Tomas, had considered her job to be a ‘useless passion’ that ‘should only be a hobby’. Both of them knew Tomas was a hateful piece of shit who had done his best to drag Nesta down, and were infinitely grateful that she’d gotten away from him. 

Nesta shot Cassian a small smile before turning back to the pictures.

“Oh! The snowball fight!” She snorted. “Don’t show this to Rhys and Az, we don’t want to remind them.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes, grinning. “They’re big babies.”

__________

Five years ago

Nesta turned around, startled, as someone tapped her shoulder. 

She had been shoveling snow for the last thirty minutes in the dim light of the rising sun. Normally, she loved lying around in bed on snowy days. She was content to sit inside, drinking hot chocolate, watching the world through the window and feeling as though she had been transported inside a snow globe. One of the few perks of living in an apartment was that she didn’t need to shovel snow. 

Last night, however, she had stayed over at Cassian’s townhouse. Cassian’s roommate, Azriel, had gone out, presumably to spend the night with someone. Nesta considered Az to be a friend, but he was extremely private; she had no idea if he was seeing someone, let alone who that someone might be.

Nesta turned around. 

Cassian was standing there, arms crossed, with one eyebrow raised. “Nesta, why didn’t you wake me up?” 

Nesta rolled her eyes and turned back around to keep shoveling. “You’re sore.”

She hadn’t expected to wake up to snow piled up almost five centimeters on the ground. It was the first snow of the winter, and she wanted nothing more than to watch the snow fall from the warmth of Cassian’s bed, curled up against her boyfriend. 

Then, she recalled the numerous bruises and cuts on Cassian’s body that she’d tended to yesterday. He had gotten thoroughly roughed up at his game, though when she’d remarked on it, he’d just laughed and replied that this didn’t even count as getting injured in ice hockey. Still, she’d seen him wincing as he reached to the left when he thought she wasn’t looking. 

So when she’d seen the snow this morning, she’d decided that, instead of going back to sleep, she would shovel the entire walkway and driveway before Cassian woke up. 

Clearly, she’d failed. 

“I’m fine!” Cassian replied, just as Nesta had anticipated. “I’m not-”

Nesta cut him off by shushing him. 

She had a little less than half the driveway left to shovel. She was adept at the art of ignoring someone trying to talk to you: after all, she’d grown up with two little sisters. So as Cassian continued to complain that he was not actually hurt and tried to convince her to hand over the shovel, she just tuned him out and focused on her task. She was making pretty good progress, in her opinion. Sure, her fingers were a little cold even in her gloves, but the desire to keep going and not let Cassian help at all motivated her. The spite kept her warm. 

She was almost a third way done when she heard coughing. She stopped abruptly and turned to Cassian, who was wiping snow off of his face.

Her eyes widened. “Oh my gods! I’m so sorry!” 

Cassian just laughed. “What, you didn’t mean to cover me in snow?”

He leaned down and grabbed a fist full of snow. “Let me show you a faster way to get rid of all this snow, sweetheart.” Nesta barely had time to duck before the snowball flew in her direction.

Abandoning the shovel, she ran away from him. Then, she made her own snowball, which she hid in her hand as she smiled at Cassian innocently. He smiled back and walked towards her until- Wham! Her snowball hit him square in the chest.

Nesta cheered. 

He gasped “Betrayal!” 

As she dodged his next snowball by a hair’s breadth, she stuck her tongue out at him. 

Her cold dissipated as their snowball fight continued. The progress she’d made on the driveway and walkway had definitely been ruined, but she found that she couldn’t care less. Twenty minutes later, when they went back inside, covered in snow, both of them were grinning ear to ear. 

It wasn’t until after they’d showered, changed, and were sipping hot chocolate that Cassian exclaimed, “Shit!” 

His drink sloshed, spilling out of his mug. Nesta took a large sip of her hot chocolate — it really did taste divine with marshmallows — and looked at him questioningly over the rim of her mug.

“You can’t tell Rhys,” Cassian pleaded. “He wouldn’t understand. We need to keep this a secret.”

“What, that I had a snowball fight with my boyfriend?” Nesta answered incredulously. 

Cassian’s face, however, was completely serious. “Yes.” 

“I wasn’t planning on telling him,” Nesta said, struggling not to laugh, “but now I’m curious to see what’ll happen, so…”

“No!” Cassian’s eyes went wide. “You see, every year, when it first snows, Rhys, Az, and I have a snowball fight. It’s a tradition we’ve had for years. If they find out that I had a snowball fight with you first…” Cassian shook his head, as if the possibilities were too horrific to even consider.

“So basically, you cheated on them with me?” A drop of hot chocolate spilled over and ran down the side of Nesta’s mug. She caught it with her finger, which she then brought to her lips.

Cassian’s eyes followed her finger. His Adam's apple bobbed as her finger left her mouth with a pop.

“I, uh, yeah.” He cleared his throat. 

She smirked. “Well, I haven’t told them, but I did tell Gwyn and Emerie in our group chat when they asked what I was up to, so Az is definitely going to find out.”

Cassian groaned, putting his face in his hands. Nesta just continued sipping her hot chocolate, laughing quietly.

__________

Present day

“They’re definitely going to hold that against us forever,” Cassian sighed. “They were so mad. That whole winter, I had to watch my back. They just kept pelting me with snowballs whenever they got the chance.” 

“It was hilarious,” Nesta grinned. Then, catching Cassian’s look, she corrected herself. “I mean, it was very terrifying.” She tried for a serious expression but failed, erupting into laughter.

Cassian rolled his eyes, but she could see the smile he was trying to suppress.

“You know what else they’re going to hold against me forever?” Nesta pointed at the polaroid right under the one they’d been looking at. “This. I think I almost gave them heart attacks.”

“Oh, yes. Now, that was hilarious,” Cassian agreed.

__________

Four years ago

Vroom.

Nesta pulled up to the front of the lane, right as the light turned red. Sighing, she raised her face shield. 

She turned to the right, glancing absently at the car in the lane next to her. It was a black Mercedes-Benz, the same car Rhysand owned. As she looked through the rolled-down driver’s seat window, she realized that it was literally the same car, because Rhys was the one driving.

She called out to him, and he turned towards her — then did a double take.

“You- wha- how are you driving Cassian’s motorcycle?” Rhys spluttered. 

Azriel’s head peeked out behind Rhys’. They sported matching shocked expressions, complete with comically wide eyes, raised eyebrows, and parted lips. 

Nesta smirked. “It’s quite easy, actually. I wasn’t sure how I’d do, since I’d never driven a motorcycle before but,” Nesta patted the handles, “she’s a smooth ride.”

That was not what they’d meant by their question. 

Cassian had always dreamed of owning a motorcycle. After going through his finances and realizing that he could afford one now without stretching himself out too thin, he’d finally bought one last week. 

The motorcycle was his prized possession and he was fiercely protective of it. He took the time to polish it after each ride, checking to make sure there wasn’t a single scratch on his treasure. Rhys and Az had been begging to ride it ever since he’d gotten it, but he’d starkly refused, claiming they were both too irresponsible. It was laughable, because Azriel was easily the most responsible member of their trio, but even he wasn’t allowed to do more than look at it. When Az had run a single finger across the paint, Cassian had pulled him away, declaring that Azriel was being too rough and that he clearly hadn’t thought about how the oils from his fingers would interact with the materials on the bike to shorten its lifespan. Azriel had pointed out that the motorcycle was meant to be ridden, but Cassian had ignored him. 

Of course it made sense that Cassian would be so overprotective of his motorcycle. He had never had many possessions. He hadn’t ever owned more than one pair of shoes until he was thirteen, when Shirina insisted on getting him snow boots and dress shoes. He’d replied, “But my sneakers still fit,” confused, and grew even more confused when Shirina wrapped him in a hug in response. 

A motorcycle was something he’d never realistically imagined being able to afford. He’d look at magazines and at the seniors who’d pull up to high school in the Harvey-Davidsons that their fathers had bought them, thinking about what kind of motorcycle he would have wanted if he’d been born to rich parents who were still alive. Now that his wildest dream had become reality, he would guard it to the best of his ability.

He knew that Rhys and Azriel would treasure it as well. They knew that he loved the bike and would never do anything to intentionally harm it. Yet, they had both grown up with money. They didn’t understand the instinct Cassian had to protect the little that was his, because they had grown up with so much to claim as their own. To them, possessions were replaceable. Despite the wealth Cassian had gained, he could never shake off the memory of being a child curled around a backpack as he slept on the street instead of covering himself with it for warmth because he was afraid it would get stolen. 

So when Cassian had casually offered to let Nesta try riding it, she was shocked to say the least. 

“Are you sure?” she’d asked about a hundred times, but his answer never changed. When she’d admitted that she had never ridden a motorcycle before, he had just replied, “I’m honored to be your first,” with a wink. He then took Nesta, who was blushing and rolling her eyes, outside to teach her the basics. 

“Alright,” he said with a clap, twenty minutes later. 

Nesta got off the bike, assuming he wanted to return it to its position in the garage. 

“Want to take it for a whirl?” he said instead.

She spun around to face him. “Really? But I… I wouldn’t want to damage your motorcycle. I know how important it is to you and, well, are you sure you want me to ride it?”

Cassian just shrugged, smiling. “No pressure, of course, if you’d rather not ride a motorcycle, but I’d love for you to try.” Something shifted in his eyes as he said, “I’d love to share it with you.”

Nesta blinked. She had grown up very differently from Cassian. She’d been born into a wealthy, upper-class family that later lost its wealth when her father got laid off and her mother fell ill. The medical bills piled up as her father searched in vain for work during a recession, and once her mother passed away, her father fell into the arms of alcoholic depression. Luckily, Nesta had enough training and experience by that point to gain a scholarship to her ballet school. 

So while Nesta had experienced poverty, it was never in the way that Cassian had. She could only understand Cassian’s desperation to hold on to his possession on an intellectual level. 

She didn’t know why he would trust her with something so precious.

“Of course I trust you,” Cassian added, as though he’d read her mind. He kissed her on the forehead, as if to say ‘you’re precious to me’. Nesta closed her eyes. 

“Um,” she whispered, then cleared her throat to continue in a stronger voice, “I’d be honored.” Then, she glanced down at the dress she was wearing. “Maybe tomorrow?” she added.

Cassian laughed that hearty, deep laugh that always made her heart clench. “Can’t wait, sweetheart.”

So here she was, the next day, riding Cassian’s motorcycle. She’d been sure to dress more appropriately in her leather pants, jacket, and boots. She asked Cassian to confirm that her outfit was ok, just to make sure. He hummed approvingly as she spun around.

He then sat her down, and put on her elbow pads and knee pads on her. If it had been anyone else, she would have complained incessantly about being treated like a child; because it was Cassian, who touched her so tenderly as he adjusted the straps, she couldn’t feel anything except gratitude and joy. 

“Ready?” He asked as she sat down on the bike. She gave him a thumbs up as he took a step back, gazing as though he was an artist who was looking at the tableau he’d painted. Dressed all in black, atop a black motorcycle, Nesta felt like she cut quite the figure. She felt powerful, as though she could do anything. 

She turned on the engine and was about to get going when Cassian shouted, “Wait!” and ran over to her. She paused, looking up at Cassian as he ran over to her and lifted her face shield. 

He kissed her, hard, and she melted into it. When he pulled away, she sat there for a moment, dazed. She brought a hand to her lips and continued to stare at Cassian. His parted lips were dark red, stained with her lipstick. 

She took a deep breath, blinking a few times to regain her focus and dispel all the images of a naked Cassian from her mind. She pulled down her face shield, revved the motorcycle, and set off. 

“But- how did you get Cass to agree to let you ride his bike?” Azriel asked, astounded.

Nesta shrugged, grinning. “What, like it’s hard?”

She zoomed off as the light turned green, leaving Rhys and Az in the dust with their mouths hanging wide open. 

__________

Present day

“I’ll cherish that moment forever,” Nesta laughed. 

Cassian grinned back at her, then pointed to a picture in the bottom row. 

“You know what I’ll cherish forever? This one.”

Nesta looked at it and sighed. “Great, now mine seems shallow. Why do you have to be so kind and thoughtful?”

“I’ll try to stop.”

“That would be much appreciated.”

__________

Four years ago

Cheers filled the rink.

“GO DRAKON!” yelled the girl sitting right next to Nesta.

Emerie, who was sitting on her other side, held back a hissing Nesta by grabbing both her shoulders. 

“That was ridiculous,” Nesta said through clenched teeth. “Why isn’t the ref saying anything? That was definitely a foul!” 

“It was a beautiful goal,” Rhysand corrected.

Nesta’s fiery glare turned to him and he withered as she snapped, “Whose side are you on?”

It was Nesta’s first time being at Cassian’s game. Of course, she’d seen his games on TV before, but both of them had agreed that she should wait before attending a game and being in the presence of all his fans and the media. Now that they had been officially dating for over a year, they’d both felt it was time. Nesta’s best friends, Gwyn and Emerie, had decided to accompany her. They had both claimed that they just wanted to watch the game, but she knew that they really were there to provide her with moral support.

Sadly, Cassian’s team — the Velaris Ghost Leopards — was currently losing 4-2 to the Adriata Sirens. Nesta, who never followed ice hockey closely until meeting Cassian, had been yelling up a storm as passionately as any long-time die-hard Ghost Leopards fan. They were about halfway through the third period and any hope that the Ghost Leopards could win was slowly disappearing. Especially as Jurian Zbirak, the Sirens’ center, passed discreetly to Varian Ulwandle, the left winger who was famously good at scoring. 

“I can’t watch,” Gwyn grimaced as Varian got past the Ghost Leopards’ defenceman, Andras Lupo. The crowd held their breath as Varian took the shot and- 

“Saved!” Emerie yelled as Rhysand let out a whoop. 

Thesan Vu, the Ghost Leopards’ goalie, had managed to save it beautifully.

Nesta gasped loudly as Kallias Neve, the Ghost Leopards’ center, took the puck and skated forward. Unfortunately, the other team’s defense was extremely strong, and caught sight of him almost immediately. Kallias cut sharply to the left, but the defenseman Eris Vanserra quickly shifted positions to block him. 

“No, no, no, no, no,” Nesta chanted. Emerie was biting her nails anxiously next to her and Azriel was covering his mouth with his hands.

Kallias tried to deke Eris by feigning left and then cutting right, but Eris had seen through his tricks and was about to steal the puck when- 

Nesta jumped out of her seat. “Look!”

Kallias had managed to trick Eris after all. He’d drop passed the puck to Cassian, who was now zooming towards the goal. By the time Eris and Devlon Lyons, the other Sirens defenseman, realized and headed for Cassian, it was already too late. 

Nesta held her breath as Cassian got into position, took the shot and- 

“He scored!” Nesta cheered at the top of her lungs. 

Her throat was definitely going to be sore tomorrow but she didn’t even care. 

She watched as Cassian lit up with glee and his teammates congratulated him. This was why she cheered so hard, why she cared so much about the sport. It wasn’t as though she’d magically become obsessed with ice hockey when she’d met Cassian. No, it was the joy that the sport brought him and the way he put his heart and soul into it — giving it his all at every game, every training, every play — that made her passionate about it. Cassian worked so incredibly hard at hockey and it was such a big part of his life. How could something so important to him not be important to her, too? 

Cassian’s eyes locked on hers. Nesta froze. 

He brought his left hand to his lips and blew her a kiss. 

The crowd went wild as Cassian’s fans assumed he’d blown it to them. But Nesta could only sit down, dazed. She didn’t know why she felt so shocked that her boyfriend had blown her a kiss. They’d done far more than kiss, for gods’ sake. Perhaps it was because it had been in front of everyone, like Cassian was declaring his affection for her publicly and showing that he wasn’t ashamed of being with her. Or maybe it was the fact that he’d thought of her in the middle of a game, as though he never stopped thinking about her, even when he was singularly focused on ice hockey.

Emerie elbowed Nesta in the ribs and stage-whispered, “Your face is red, you know.” 

“Shut up,” was Nesta’s dignified response.

With five minutes left in the period, the Sirens held control of the puck.

“Are they just wasting time, trying to run out the clock?” Nesta huffed. “That’s fucking ridiculous.”

Drakon Aliyev — the Sirens’ right winger — kept passing back and forth with the Jurian and Varian, barely moving forward. 

“C’mon!” Rhysand jeered. 

Suddenly, with thirty seconds left on the clock, Jurian sped forward. He weaved between Ghost Leopards’ players, dodging and deking them. 

Twenty seconds. 

Andras closed in on Jurian, but Jurian back passed to Drakon right before Andras caught up to him. Drakon skated past them, zigzagging to avoid the other players who attempted to catch up to him. 

Ten seconds.

As Lucien — the Ghost Leopards’ other defenseman — moved in to body-check him, Drakon made eye contact with Varian, who had skated forward and was completely open. Drakon turned towards Varian, leaning his left shoulder down to pass to him.

Five seconds. 

Lucien shifted to guard Drakon’s right side, blocking him from passing to Varian. 

Four.

Drakon turned his hockey stick, which was on the left of the puck, to position it behind the puck, and aimed at the goal. Lucien scrambled to move back to his previous position in front of Drakon. 

Three. 

Drakon’s stick hit the puck, taking a strong shot. It flew through the middle of Lucien’s legs, headed straight towards the goal.

Two. 

Thesan shifted his stick and crouched down, moving into position to block the puck. 

One.

The puck landed on the ice a hair’s breadth in front of Thesan and slid through the small gap between his stick and his foot, straight into the goal.

Zero.

The crowd erupted into cheers and shouts. 

Nesta was chief among them. “What? That’s crazy! The puck was not completely over the line before the buzzer! Why the fuck are they counting it?” 

“It actually was,” Rhysand replied. “Wasn’t it an amazing buzzer beater, Az?”

Nesta was fuming. “What? Were you even watching the game? About a third of the puck hadn’t crossed the line! Don’t you agree, Az?” 

Az looked between them with wide eyes and then wisely chose to say, “Hey, why don’t we try to go catch Cassian before he has to go to the changing room?” 

Nesta was still grumbling as they walked up to where Cassian was talking to his teammates.

Azriel tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around, his disappointed frown turning into a friendly smile. Then, his eyes landed on Nesta and his expression softened. 

Nesta peered up at him and sent him a small smile. But a second later, she resumed her muttering, hissing under her breath, “I can’t fucking believe the refs don’t give a shit about the Sirens’ blatant cheating.”

Rhysand, who was standing right next to Nesta, groaned loudly. Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. “This one,” Rhys began, tilting his head towards Nesta, “hasn’t stopped complaining about the Sirens and the refs.” He rolled his eyes, exasperated. “They didn’t fucking cheat, Nesta. They won. Just accept it and move on.” He turned to Cassian with a glance that said ‘urg, can you believe her?’ 

Unfortunately for Rhysand, he was not met with the sympathetic backup he’d anticipated from Cassian. Instead, Cassian’s face split into a huge grin that only widened when Nesta retorted, “Well, it’s true! I swear the puck wasn’t fully over the line when I heard the buzzer. The refs were definitely biased, because they called the Ghost Leopards’ offsides in period 1 but not any of the Sirens’ fouls!” 

He let out a breathy laugh as wonder and joy lit up his eyes. He enveloped Nesta with his arms, burying his smile in her hair. 

Time froze.

Their eyes closed like camera shutters as they stood still, taking in the moment and committing it to memory. They were both silent, too overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions.

An eternity later, Cassian broke the silence, whispering “Thank you” into Nesta’s neck. He let her go, but not before pressing a kiss against her cheek.

__________

Present day

“You know, it meant the world to me to see that you defended me so fiercely.” Cassian’s tone was sincere but still light, as one could only be with those whom they’d been vulnerable with many times before. “To know that you cared so much about me… well. It’s not like no one cared about me before, you know, obviously I had Rhys and Az and stuff, but I still struggled with really believing that people could care about me — that I could matter to people. That moment… Of course it didn’t completely ‘fix’ me,” Cassian made air quotes with his fingers, “but I think that’s when it really clicked and I realized that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you — that I mattered to you, too.”

Nesta swallowed, realizing that she was choking up, which was extremely uncharacteristic of her. The closest she usually got to crying was when she read about fictional characters, and even then she almost never felt tears welling up as they were now. 

“I love you,” Nesta answered quietly. It was the truth, plain and simple. “You matter to me, and you always have.”

“I love you too,” Cassian answered. His hand reached out to cover hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

A moment later, he pointed to another polaroid in the bottom row. 

“This one was next, right?”

“Yeah,” Nesta said, her eyes twinkling as she reminisced. “Those views were so worth it, but damn, I don’t think I’ve ever been as tired and sore.”

Cassian smirked. “Oh really? Not even-”

“Nope,” Nesta interrupted with a smirk of her own.

Cassian blinked, as though her reply had genuinely shocked him. Once he recovered, he answered, “Well, we’ll have to change that, won’t we?” 

He winked. 

Nesta rolled her eyes, but brought a hand to cheek to cover what she assumed was her rather obvious blush. 

__________

Four years ago

“Are you sure you don’t need to drink more water?” Cassian asked again.

“Yes, Cassian, I’m just as sure as I was when you asked me two seconds ago,” Nesta replied, a small smile on her lips despite her slight irritation at his repetitive questioning. Nesta would never in a million years admit that she liked Cassian’s coddling, but in truth she did enjoy knowing how much he cared. 

They’d decided to get away from the city for a week to go on the backpacking trip they’d been talking about for months now. Miraculously, Cassian’s off-season had aligned perfectly with Nesta’s and they intended to make full use of it. 

Initially, they had considered inviting some of their friends and family to join them on a hike to a different location, but after Nesta’s argument with Rhysand over reproductive freedoms dissolved into an intense shouting match with personal attacks, Cassian had decided to limit the trip to just the two of them. He’d hoped to give them some space from each other to help them cool off. 

There was also an additional reason he had decided not to invite anyone else — most notably Rhysand — that he hadn’t told Nesta. The day after the row, Cassian had gone to see Rhysand, hoping to help clear the air. Instead of being regretful and guilty, Rhysand had been stubborn, claiming that Nesta was the only one who needed to apologize. He called Nesta a “vicious bitch”, saying that he didn’t know why Cassian would want to be with such a “fucked up person who clearly had way too many issues” and “only wanted Cassian for the money and fame”. When he laughed, “The sex must be really good for you to put up with her,” spitting out the last word as though Nesta was the scum of the Earth who wasn’t even worthy of being named by Rhysand, Cassian had exploded. 

He’d completely lost it, snarling and hurling insults at Rhys. He’d yelled that Rhys was clearly so insecure that he couldn’t accept when he was wrong and had to tear others down to try to fix his fragile ego. 

“Maybe you want to pretend you’re perfect because you don’t know how to love people, flaws and all,” Cassian had hissed. “So yeah, Nesta might have some ‘issues’ but so do I. And guess what? That’s fine. We still care about each other, for real. Unlike you, we don’t feel the need to lie about who we are. At least our relationship is real and is based on honesty and truth.” 

It had been a low blow, to allude to his previous relationships. Rhys had dated Amarantha, a wealthy actress and politician’s daughter, at his parents’ request back when Rhys’ dad, Hadrian, was still running the conglomerate called Night Court Corporations which was later passed down to Rhys. This had been both a PR stunt, which showed rivals just how strong and influential their family was and distracted the media from Ayla’s underage drunk driving, and a way to gain Amarantha’s father’s support in giving Night Court Corporations a tax break. Their relationship had been faker than Amarantha’s tan. 

His only real relationship before Feyre had been with Carmella, a girl who worked at a coffee shop he used to frequent, although calling it ‘real’ was a stretch, as Rhysand had lied to her about his family and his past. They had dated for almost a year, and Az and Cassian had met the poor girl numerous times, but Rhysand had insisted that he would keep being ‘Reese, son of an office worker’ when he was with her in order to avoid ‘getting used’. 

So yes, the comment had been mean and Cassian had felt slightly guilty about it, despite it being true. 

But then, Rhys had retorted, “Real? Please, Cassian, I can’t believe that you can’t see through her! She doesn’t ‘care about you’ or whatever, she only cares about the money, just like everybody else like her!”

Cassian’s eyes had narrowed and he’d slowly bit out, “Like her? What do you mean by that?”

His eyes had flashed with rage and pain, because he’d known exactly what Rhysand meant. 

His suspicions were confirmed when Rhys’ expression had twitched. He’d meant people who weren’t as famous, as well-to-do, as wealthy. People who didn’t have a trust fund or a summer house or extra cars. People who couldn’t take vacations or make big purchases without saving up first. People who couldn’t say ‘money isn’t a problem’. People like Nesta who had to have side jobs in addition to their main one just to be able to afford rent in a city like Velaris. And people like Cassian, for whom even food and housing and safety had never been a guarantee, let alone new clothing or vacations. 

Rhysand had just implied that Cassian had never cared about Rhysand or Shirina or Ayla or Hadrian. That Cassian had only been with them for the money and that all the love he had for them was fake. 

Rhysand stayed silent.

Cassian repeated, “What do you mean, Rhys?”

“Look, I didn’t mean to offend you. It wasn’t about- I’m just trying to help you! She doesn’t actually care.” At Cassian’s murderous glare, he amended, “And even if she does, she doesn’t deserve you! I’m just trying to rescue you, man.”

“Rescue me?” Cassian laughed, coldly. “I’m not some semi-homeless kid anymore. I don’t need a fucking hero to save me. Maybe you want to think I’m some helpless victim because you can’t stand the fact that I’m finally happy and I don’t need you anymore. How are you going to feed your savior complex now?”

Rhysand scoffed, glaring down at him as though Cassian were a peasant and he were a god. It only served to fuel the cold flames of Cassian’s anger.

“Or maybe you don’t like that I’m succeeding,” Cassian said, his voice quiet and dangerous. “You don’t like that I’m rich and famous and I did it all on my own. I worked hard and got here and I’m only gonna keep rising. Who are you gonna look down at now to remind yourself just what a special little boy you are?”

Rhysand rolled his eyes. “Rich? Please, Cassian, you’re doing okay, but you could never be as rich as me. And all on your own? Need I remind you that I gave you a house and food and clothes? I paid for your hockey gear and for chauffeurs to drive you to games. You worked hard, sure, but so did I. We’re the same, so stop trying to act like you’re any better than me.���

“Aww, did I hurt your fragile little ego?” Cassian pouted mockingly. “You know that you didn’t do any of that, right? Shirina and Hadrian paid for all those things. And yes, they helped me, but at least I got my job because of skill and hard work. You got yours because you were born a boy. We’re not the same and we’ll never be.”

“You’re right,” Rhysand replied coolly. “We’re not the same. I don’t know why I ever bothered to pretend otherwise.”

Cassian had stormed out, tossing a “By the way, it’s called a taxi, not a chauffeur!” over his shoulder as he exited.

Admittedly, it had not been his best comeback.

After that incident, Cassian had decided not to speak to Rhys for a while, let alone invite him on any trips.

As they hiked up the hilly landscape, Cassian was grateful he’d decided to spend this time alone with Nesta instead. Somehow, the whole trip felt so much more meaningful with her by his side, like this was a glimpse at the life they were building together. 

“Gods, my legs are definitely going to hurt after today,” Nesta mumbled as they hiked up an especially steep section.

“Are you okay? Do you want to take a break- or should I carry you?” Cassian hurriedly replied. 

Nesta just laughed, staring pointedly at his backpack. “Literally how?”

Cassian gestured to his front. “You doubt my strength?”

“Yes,” Nesta teased, sticking her tongue out at him before speed walking ahead. 

“Wait up!”

Each night, they shared a tent. Despite starting out in sleeping bags on separate mattress pads, they always ended up cuddling together, supposedly for warmth. A couple nights in, Nesta figured out how to zip their sleeping bags together to create a single larger sleeping bag, whispering “Oh no, there’s only one bed!” as she did so. 

Every morning, Cassian would wake Nesta up with a kiss to her cheek. She’d always scrunch her face and groggily mutter, “No, don’t do that, I’m disgusting.”

“You could never be disgusting, sweetheart,” Cassian would reply, prompting Nesta to open her eyes only to roll them at him. 

When they finally arrived at Windhaven Overlook, their destination, they spent a day admiring the views and having a small picnic. 

“Thanks for bringing me here,” Nesta said, resting her head on Cassian’s shoulder. “It means a lot that you’d want to share this with me.”

Cassian kissed her forehead in response. 

He had been to this spot only twice before, but it was still one of the most important locations for him. 

The first time, Enalius had brought him here. Enalius was a man close to Cassian’s heart. They’d first met when Enalius approached Cassian, whose face was glued to a window, watching an ice hockey team practice. Cassian had snuck into the skating rink for warmth and to use the vending machines and the water fountains, but had let his guard down, enthralled by the skaters. 

“Are you spying on them?” were the first words out of Enalius’ mouth. 

“What? NO!” Cassian had tried to run, but Enalius clasped his shoulder with a strong arm. 

“Really? What team do you play for?”

“I don’t play hockey!” 

At that, Enalius had frowned. “Really? That’s a shame. I think you might be good at it. Why don’t you ask your parents to sign you up for a class sometime?” 

Cassian’s eyes had dropped to the floor. “No, that’s okay.”

“C’mon, now,” Enalius had tried again. “I’m sure you could be better than those boys in no time.”

“I’ve never even skated before.”

Enalius raised an eyebrow as Cassian furiously backtracked, realizing that he’d basically admitted he’d snuck in. 

“Uh, I mean, I’ve never skated in, uh, hockey rinks with, uh-”

Enalius smiled. “Don’t worry, kid.” He looked Cassian up and down once more and sighed, “Are you sure you don’t want to give it a try? You’ll never know what it’s like until you give it a go.”

Cassian shrugged.

“Well, if you ever think you want to, just tell the lady at the counter over there that Enalius Ramiel told you to sign up for a lesson with him, okay? And get your parents to sign all the release forms and stuff.”

“Oh, they, uh, can’t do that.”

Enalius cocked his head. “Should I talk to them? Don’t worry, lessons aren’t actually that expensive, and I’ll give you a little discount.”

“No, um, you can’t talk to them,” Cassian mumbled uncomfortably.

Enalius took a step back. “Sorry kid, didn’t mean to pressure you. Lemme know if you ever want me to talk to your parents or anything.”

As Enalius started to turn around, Cassian was suddenly caught by a panic and blurted, “You can’t talk to them ’cause they’re dead.” 

Enalius froze. 

“Oh,” he said after a moment. “I see.” 

He studied Cassian’s face for a moment and then grabbed his hand, power-walking towards the check-in counter. They cut to the front of a long line of people as Enalius flashed a badge.

“Hey, Val, can we book rink 3 for a private lesson?” Enalius asked the lady at the counter with a grin. 

“Sure, when do you want to schedule it for?” 

“Now.” 

Val raised her eyebrows. “Now? Are you joking?” 

Enalius shook his head. 

Val just sighed. “Fine, but I don’t think the ice has been refreshed in a while. Also, it’s booked after 5:30, so you’ve got a little less than an hour.”

“Thanks, Val, you’re the best.” Then, he turned to Cassian. “What size are your feet?” 

“Um… 6?” Cassian guessed, rounding up a size from his current too-small sneakers. 

“A pair of size 6 hockey skate rentals, too,” Enalius added. “Put it all on my tab.”

Then, he leaned in to whisper something Cassian couldn’t hear, which made Val sigh, “Oh, Ali, I hope you know what you’re doing.” 

The next hour had changed Cassian's life. He’d started out wobbling, barely staying vertical and walking instead of skating on the ice. By the end, he was gliding effortlessly, skating around and in between the cones Enalius set up. He fell in love with ice skating. 

So Cassian returned, day after day, getting free private lessons from Enalius, and he soon became enamored by ice hockey, too.

Enalius became Cassian’s mentor, not only teaching him hockey but also buying Cassian snacks or dinner and making sure he got back safely. It was Enalius who later introduced Shirina, his childhood friend, to Cassian, further changing his life.

It wasn’t until much later that Cassian learned what a famous and successful hockey player Enalius was. Enalius remained Cassian’s coach right until he joined the NHL himself.

There were few people who were as important to Cassian as Enalius. And that was why this place that Enalius had brought him to years ago was so special to Cassian. 

Shirina, Hadrian, Rhysand, and Ayla had decided to go abroad and travel alongside some cousins during fall break. Enalius had overheard Shirina hesitating about leaving Cassian home alone for the week and had offered to take him on a trip of their own. Cassian, who had never been on a trip as far as he was aware of, was ecstatic and it did not disappoint. It became one of Cassian’s best memories.

The second time he came to this spot was after Shirina’s death. Rhysand and Ayla had been inconsolable, each grieving in their own way: Rhysand never spent a moment alone, as though he could bury his feelings in the high of socializing and parties, while Ayla barely spoke or even left her room. Hadrian was trying his best to keep it together, but was clearly in way over his head — managing the children and their emotions had always been Shirina’s department, not his. Luckily, their extended family had flown into town to help them all. Friends and acquaintances had reached out, trying to find ways to support them through all the grief. 

Cassian, who couldn’t really be classified as a friend or family to Shirina, had been overlooked. It wasn’t like he expected anything different, but watching everyone comforting each other and ignoring him hurt. It was as though he had no right to grieve — to be this hurt by her death — and maybe he didn’t, but she had been the closest thing he’d had to a parent since he’d been 5 years old. He’d loved her, too. No, he wasn’t her child, but he was something to her, even if it couldn’t be labeled so easily. 

Now she was gone and whatever they had been was erased. It didn’t matter that he’d used his first paycheck to buy her a birthday present, or that she had attended all his home NHL games, or that they’d often go on walks together. It didn’t matter that she always knew when he needed a hug or that she’d taught him how to cook. 

Cassian had decided to hike to Windhaven Overpass to get out of his own head. 

The journey had helped him to process his emotions. The sunsets and the plant life around him had seemed far more beautiful that time, reminding him of how much Shirina had loved nature. At night, the stars seemed brighter than normal, and he recalled Shirina explaining to him that in her culture, stars were considered to be ancestral and guardian spirits looking down at you and guiding you. 

Cassian felt like Shirina had been there, watching him from the sky and reaching out with a comforting hand as he struggled. That trip, he had gotten angry and laughed joylessly and sobbed. He’d felt empty and about to explode at the same time. He had gotten to be something different from the strong, smiling version of himself that he usually presented to the public. In the end, the trip had helped him find some sort of closure and peace with Shirina’s death.

Now, Cassian had brought Nesta here.

He had told her about his prior trips with Windhaven and what the location meant to him, but actually bringing her here was a sign that Cassian was willing to be vulnerable with her. 

He had always feared people would leave him and that he was replaceable, and worried about tainting such a special place with memories of someone who would later leave his life. 

And yet, Cassian had brought her here.

“This spot is important to me, Nes, and so are you,” Cassian said. “Thank you for coming. It’s my honor to be here, with you.”

He didn’t say: ‘I’m not worried about bringing you here because what we have is different — it’s meant to last.’

He didn’t say: ‘You’re the only person I’ve ever cared about enough to let myself be vulnerable like this with — you could destroy me, but I’m willing to take that chance.’

He didn’t say: ‘I love you.’

And yet, that was what they both heard.

__________

Present day

“I knew you were in love with me the second you invited me on that trip,” Nesta smirked. 

“Sweetheart, I was gone for you way before then,” Cassian laughed. 

“That’s true,” she grinned. “You had an embarrassingly massive crush on me for the longest time. And you must’ve loved me a whole lot to let me get away with making Rhys grovel like that.”

“First of all, get your facts straight: I still have an embarrassingly massive crush on you,” he replied. “And secondly, well, Rhys deserved it and also it was really entertaining to watch.”

The day after they’d gotten back, Rhysand had sent Cassian and Nesta a long message, asking them to meet up so that he could apologize in person. Nesta decided that they should talk to Rhys separately. 

Cassian went first. Rhys apologized profusely for all the names he’d called Nesta, for all the things he’d implied about Cassian, and for all the insults. Cassian in turn apologized for his part, and the two of them had a chat in which Rhys admitted that he’d acted like an entitled prick and that he was genuinely sorry. They made up and quickly forgave each other, like the pseudo-brothers they were.

Nesta and Rhysand were an altogether different story. Rhysand apologized to her as well, but she answered that while she accepted his apology, she could not forgive him so easily. 

She understood that he didn’t like her, and that was his right, but she also felt that he couldn’t try to make claims about her character when he barely knew her. She told him that she was perfectly fine with having a tepid relationship with him where they would only speak when strictly necessary or that they could try to get to know each other better. Rhysand went with the second option. From there, they went on to have many long discussions. Once they’d gotten a bit closer, Nesta returned to their original point of contention: reproductive freedoms. She made Rhys listen to podcasts and read articles and watch videos about what reproductive freedom really was and why it was so important. “You don’t have to change your opinion,” she’d said, over and over. “You just need to be informed before you try to make claims about what others should or shouldn’t do with their bodies and their lives.”

It was only months later that Nesta finally stopped putting him through the wringer and told him that she’d forgiven him. 

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Cass. It definitely was all for your entertainment, no other reason at all for us to argue,” Nesta replied dryly.

Her eyes drifted to the polaroid in the bottom right corner. “Now that,” she pointed, “that was entertainment. What a show!” She licked her lips and batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly. 

“It was completely staged, of course,” Cassian joked. “The whole thing was just for your pleasure.”

Nesta raised an eyebrow. “My ‘pleasure’?” 

“My, my, what a dirty mind you have, Nesta!” Cassian fake-gasped. “A proper gentleman would never imply something so improper to a lady like yourself.”

“A proper gentleman? Where?” she retorted without missing a beat. 

He clutched his chest. “You wound me, m’lady.” He shook his head. “And to think, I was your knight in shining armor that day…”

“More like knight in very little armor.”

__________

Three years ago

Plunk.

They watched, immobilized by shock, as the necklace drifted below the water’s surface. 

It fell slowly, until it became only a vague shadow in the water.

“Nesta?” “Nesta, are you ok?” 

Voices faded in and out of Nesta’s awareness. She tried to force herself to smile, to nod that she was completely, totally fine. Unfortunately, she seemed to have lost the ability to control her body. 

It was so, so stupid. She’d been having such a wonderful day. And now, she’d ruined it.

Cassian and Azriel had prepared a group trip to Ravennia Park, complete with a lovely picnic lunch in the field of blooming daffodils. Cassian had even made sure to include all her favorite foods in the lunch. Afterward, they walked around the park, stopping occasionally to take pictures or listen to birds. 

They had stopped on this small bridge so that Feyre could take pictures of the glistening lake and the paddling of ducks that had just entered the water. Nesta had leaned over the railing, chatting with Cassian as she watched the colorful koi fish swim.

Her necklace had snapped suddenly, tumbling into the water before anyone could react. 

Her silver necklace, which her father had given her for her eighth birthday, disappeared under the surface of the lake. Gone, just like her middle school best friend, Clare Beddor, who had drowned herself in a pool. Gone, just like her father.

Until her mother got sick, Nesta had had an amazing relationship with her father. She would sit next to him, listening intently as he explained how trading and shipbuilding worked. She was always the one to run and open the door when he came home from work, enveloping him in a hug. She loved it when he read her bedtime stories and watched her dance around the living room.

Then, everything changed. Her illusion that he could do no wrong broke when her mother told her that the reason she wasn’t getting better from her illness was that they couldn’t afford good doctors and medicine since her father had lost his job. After that, Nesta’s resentment only grew as the misfortunes piled up. Her mother died and they couldn’t afford the funeral that she’d wanted. Her sisters had to change schools. They moved into a smaller house, with a bedroom that all three sisters shared. They struggled to put food on the table. 

When her father decided to sell art instead of looking for another job, saying he couldn’t rely on others to give him work, Nesta fumed. How could he sit there, carving wood and drinking beer, while Feyre worked overtime at her job in addition to school and she and Elain did all the cooking and cleaning? Nesta had vowed to leave as soon as she could, and, it turned out, that ballet allowed her to leave the nest sooner than expected. 

Still, she’d felt guilty leaving her sisters to fend for themselves in that house, and then felt even angrier at her father for not taking care of them and putting Nesta in a position where she felt guilty for following her dreams. 

Suffice to say, Nesta had a difficult relationship with him — one that was made all the more complex when he died of a sudden heart attack. 

It had taken Nesta a long time to process and make peace with his death. 

She’d decided to wear the necklace her father had given her today, in honor of his birthday. Once upon a time, she had worn this necklace all the time, showing off the token of her father’s affection. By putting it back on, she felt like she was healing a teenage Nesta, who had violently taken off her necklace at her mother’s funeral and shoved it into the drawer of her bedside table. 

And now, it was lost forever. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice cut through her haze and she lifted her eyes to see his worried expression. He brought a finger to her cheek, caressing it softly. It grounded her, bringing her back to the present, but she didn’t react — couldn’t react — more than just blinking at him dazedly. 

Cassian took a deep breath. He grabbed the back of his t-shirt and removed it in one smooth motion, his pants quickly following suit. Before Nesta could process what was happening, he climbed over the railing and plunged into the lake. 

Nesta could only cling to the railing, shocked silent for a new reason as she waited, praying to all the gods she barely believed in that his head would emerge from the water. 

She tried to dispel all the fears that swam around in her mind, taunting her about the dangers of the lake. The water plants that could ensnare even experienced swimmers’ feet and drown them, the animals that could bite and eat him, the sharp rocks that could injure him, the current that could pull him under — the possibilities were endless.

Cassian’s head emerged from the water and she felt her heart unclench, just for a second, until he disappeared once more. 

This jerked Nesta out of her stupor. 

“Cassian,” she called out. “Cass! What the fuck are you doing? Get back here! ” Her voice grew increasingly panicked as there was no response. 

“It’s dangerous, are you insane? Cassian? Cassian!”

Her shouts only stopped when Cassian surfaced. His broad shoulders and defined abs glistened in the sunlight as drops of water rolled down his chest. The bun his hair had been in had come upon, and now his dark, wavy-curly mane was streaming down his back. His brown skin was slick with water and drops clung to his long eyelashes. She couldn’t stop herself from noticing that he looked exactly how she’d imagined a merman to be. 

Her lips parted as he stepped out of the water. She forced her eyes away from his soaking wet underwear that clung to his body, defining every inch of it. Her gaze fixed on his chest instead. She knew she should be focusing on Cassian’s face or the necklace in his hand but he was so fucking distracting. Soaked Cassian was criminally delectable. 

“Nesta?” 

Cassian’s voice was worried, probably since Nesta still wasn’t speaking.

“Nes,” he whispered, gently tilting her head upwards with a finger under her chin. 

Their eyes met. Cassian’s concern was wiped off his face and was instantly replaced by a smirk.

“Lost your tongue, sweetheart?” he teased.

Though she had indeed lost the ability to speak, she would not give him the satisfaction of admitting it. No, she would play his game and beat him at it. 

She licked her lips slowly. She tilted her head back to expose the column of her throat while she swallowed sharply, knowing how it drove him crazy. Cassian made a low noise in the back of his throat, as though he was trying and failing to suppress a groan. Then, he put his arms on her shoulders, turning her around. 

“Lift up your hair,” he whispered into her ear, sending shivers across her body. 

She did as he requested. He put the necklace back on her neck, patiently working the tiny clasp. His fingers brushed her neck, and even the cold silver of the necklace couldn’t cool the heat that spread within her. When the necklace was securely fastened, she turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

She took a moment to look deep within his eyes. 

She would have to yell at him later for risking his life for a piece of jewelry, but nonetheless she appreciated what he had done. He was one of the only people who knew that she had a fear of deep water due to its association with Clare, and was also the only person who knew what putting this necklace back on meant for her. Yes, it was only a necklace, but he had also saved her from reopening the wounds of her complex relationship with her father and her past self. 

So she kissed him, knowing he would understand every conflicting thought and emotion that she pressed against his lips. And when his hand came up to support her neck, she knew that he was answering ‘I’m here for you, always.’

__________

Present day

“I knew you were objectifying me,” Cassian pouted mockingly.

Nesta nodded. “Oh, for sure. You’re nothing but a sexy hunk to me.” 

She leaned closer to him. “That’s why I said I love you first.” She tapped the picture in the top left corner. 

Cassian rolled his eyes. “How long are you going to hold that over my head?”

Nesta hummed as though she were seriously contemplating the issue. “How about… forever?” 

Cassian’s eyes sparkled and his mouth twisted around, as though he were trying to hold back a grin. 

“Urg, fine,” he said. His attempt to appear annoyed failed completely as he sounded more amused than anything else. “As long as you know I loved you first.”

It was Nesta’s turn to roll her eyes in mock annoyance, despite knowing that he was likely correct. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

__________

Three years ago

It was the final match of the Alfheim Ice Hockey Championships. If the Velaris Ghost Leopards managed to beat the Hybern Hydras, they would win the Fionn Cup for the first time in history. 

The game was extremely close, with both teams tied at 2-2, though not for lack of trying. The Hydras were playing atrociously dirty by anyone’s standards. They had already received numerous green and yellow cards, but it didn’t seem to deter them from continuing to foul the Ghost Leopards. 

Nesta cheered as Andras blocked Keir Hewn’s attack. Lucien swept in, stealing the puck from Keir, and passed it across the ice to Cassian. Cassian bluffed and wove his way through the Hydras’ defensemen. 

“C’mon, Cass, c’mon,” she chanted, her hands clasped together. 

Beron Falls raced to block Cassian, but Cassian passed the puck to Kallias just in time. Kallias dribbled the puck expertly. 

“Please, Kallias, make this shot,” Rhys implored from the seat behind Nesta’s. 

Kallias skated towards the goals, and lifted his stick to shoot. 

Then, the ice erupted in shouts, the umpire blowing the whistle continuously. 

“What just happened?” Gwyn asked but no one had an answer to give her. Nesta just sighed, dropping her face into her hands until she felt Elain tugging at her shoulder. Her eyes followed Elain’s pointed finger to see the jumbotron showing a replay. Andrew Amaranth, the Hydras’ left winger, had come up to Kallias from behind. He grabbed his stick and kicked the back of his calf with the blade of his skates, causing Kallias to fall. 

“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Nesta shouted.

“He’s actually unhinged,” Azriel agreed. 

The umpire called for a yellow and a ten-minute time out.

“It should be a red card,” Gwyn hissed and Nesta loudly agreed. 

The game continued in such a fashion, with the Hydras playing as dirty as possible without getting red cards. 

The game was still tied with five minutes remaining in the third period. 

“We can’t go into overtime,” Azriel muttered to himself, “All our players are getting tired and they’re bound to actually get injured from these fouls.”

“Better overtime than a loss,” Rhys replied.

Nesta looked down at her hands. Her nails had been bitten down to the nub over the course of this game. 

Winning the Fionn Cup was a lifelong dream of Cassian’s. He had worked hard for this. He’d given his life to this sport for years, training every day for hours on end, no matter how tired he was. He studied strategy, honed his body, and worked with his team to figure out how to play into everyone’s individual strengths.

But it was more than that. 

In many ways, the sport had also saved Cassian. It had given him direction and a sense of purpose at a time when he’d felt lost. It had given him a team, when he’d only ever felt alone. It had provided him an alternative to the path he’d thought he was destined for — a path that led to nothing but more despair, where he would just get by, numbly passing through every day and surviving by the skin of his teeth. Ice hockey had opened up a whole new world for him and allowed him to dream of a different future for himself. It had given him hope, showing him a way out of the cycle of sadness that he’d imagined he would be trapped in forever. 

The world had once branded him as useless, as broken, as less than nothing. As he was tossed around from foster home to foster home, sleeping on the street among the trash, the word worthless sank deeper and deeper into his skin. 

Ice hockey was the hand that had reached out and pulled him to his feet, getting him off the ground, out of the shadows and the litter and the endless despair. It had dusted him off and pulled him into the light, where he could get warm and grow and sparkle as he was meant to. 

Now, Nesta wanted the world to acknowledge that Cassian was a champion. She wanted the world to know they’d been wrong to ever dismiss him as anything less than magnificent. She wanted him to win the Fionn Cup and stand proudly in the spotlight, knowing the world now looked up to him. More than anything, she wanted him to know that he was worthy, that he was precious, that he was important. 

“Oh, fuck, yes!” Azriel shouted. Nesta would have raised an eyebrow at him — the ever-brooding, silent and mysterious Azriel — shouting so enthusiastically, if she hadn’t been so caught up in the game.  

Kallias had stolen the puck from Dagdan Maeve and was racing towards the goal. Just as he crossed the center line, the Hydra’s defensemen, Beron and Nolan, closed in on him. Nesta watched as Kallias attempted to fake them out, then made a sharp turn to get away from them, all to no avail. Beron finally caught up to him and moved to steal the puck. With Nolan guarding Kallias’ other side, there was nowhere for him to move, no space for him to pass.

“Oh, I can’t watch,” Rhys hissed, wincing. 

Nesta pressed her lips together, hoping for a miracle, when suddenly the puck disappeared. Kallias had somehow managed to pass it through the narrow gap between Beron and Nolan’s sticks and had hit the puck with such strength that neither of them could move to stop it in time. Cassian received the pass and skated towards the goal. Beron, Nolan, and even some of the forwards moved to stop him, but Nesta knew they wouldn’t make it in time. Not when Cassian was speeding forward, moving like the wind as he skated across the ice. 

Nesta leaned forward in her seat as a feeling swelled up inside her. It was a mix of anticipation, nervousness, hope, fear, pride, and something else — something that made her feel like her heart was in her throat and made her pray that Cassian would score but know she would be there by his side no matter what happened. She had been feeling it for so long now, but had never voiced it — never put words to the feeling for fear that it would shatter the precious thing they’d built. But now Nesta knew it wasn’t something that could be so easily destroyed. No, it didn’t matter if Cassian won or lost, or even got injured. It didn’t matter if Cassian got traded to a team in a different city or Nesta had to switch ballet companies. No matter what, through the ups and the downs, they would be there for each other, helping to shoulder the emotional load. 

As Cassian's hockey stick hit the puck, Nesta wondered why she had been waiting so long when it was so clear what this feeling was. If she was being honest, she’d known it when Cassian dove into the water for her necklace, had known it when he’d brought her to Windhaven, had known it even the first time she’d sat in these seats, cheering Cassian on as he played. 

Cassian’s love was loud. It was in the romantic dates he planned, the surprises and gifts and hugs he showered her with, the weekends when he could sleep in but woke up anyway to make her pancakes. No, he hadn’t said the words either, but his protective arm around her during dinner with his friends and the vulnerable look in his eyes as he prepared a fusion meal that combined their cultural cuisines said all that was needed. 

Nesta’s love was quiet. It was in the fridge restocked with Cassian’s favorite foods, the ways she tended to his injuries after a match, and carefully planned meaningful gifts for his birthday. No, she hadn’t said the words, but she knew that he knew how she felt. 

But now, as the puck flew towards the goal, Nesta wanted to love just as boldly as Cassian. She wanted to show the world how lucky she was to be with him, but more importantly, she wanted Cassian to feel how much she cared about him. She wanted him to know that she was proud to be his. For him, she’d shout their love from the rooftops. She’d give him the whole universe if she could, because the world had been so unkind to him and yet he’d still managed to become the most incredible person in it. She could only offer him her heart, however, and hope that he would find it worthy of keeping. 

The puck grazed the goalie’s glove and Nesta held her breath. The goalie stretched out his fingers to grab it but it flew past him. 

“GOAL!” 

The entire stadium erupted into screams. Cheers of pure joy came from the Ghost Leopards’ side, louder than ever before. Nesta watched as Gwyn, Azriel, Elain, and Rhys jumped up and hugged each other.

Nesta could only stand up in silence, too consumed with her feelings to utter a single sound. For what sound could encapsulate this all-encompassing joy and pride? She looked down at the rink. Cassian’s teammates were all piled up around him in a massive group hug. And in the middle of it all, Cassian was there, beaming. His eyes lifted and met hers. She was grinning, wider than ever before in her life, and lifted her hands to make a heart. 

Cassian’s eyes turned huge. He took a deep breath. 

Perhaps he would have responded in kind, but he was obstructed from Nesta’s view as another teammate jumped to hug him and then the coach yelled at them that the game was restarting. Cassian shot Nesta one last, loaded glance before skating back to his position.

It was all a blur after that. The last few minutes of the match passed without any change.  Both teams’ offenses and defenses were equally matched, and the puck passed between them with no chances to score. When the buzzer rang out, everyone sprung to their feet. 

Nesta cheered, not giving a shit that her voice would be hoarse the next day with how loudly she was screaming. Azriel was jumping up and down like a child — she’d never seen him so overtly joyous. Rhys had tears of joy pouring down his cheeks. Gwyn and Elain were hugging. 

After the awards ceremony, all the interviews, and a rowdy celebration with the team, Cassian finally joined them. 

The second they caught sight of him, they rushed towards him. All five of them reached him at the same time and jumped on him, crushing him as they hugged him and showered him with compliments and congratulations.  

Cassian laughed boisterously. 

“I can’t believe it! I’m friends with a Fionn Cup Champion,” Gwyn gushed.

“Oh, so now we’re friends?” Cassian teased.

Gwyn answered with a playful shove that pushed Cassian back toward Azriel. Az wrapped his arms around Cassian, trapping him.

He pressed a kiss to the side of Cassian’s head as the latter squirmed. 

“Sorry Nes, I’m keeping him,” Azriel joked, tightening his grip as Cassian tried to shake him off. 

“Take him,” Nesta grinned. “He snores.” 

“I do not!” 

Cassian’s protest went ignored.

“Hmm,” Azriel pretended to muse. “But then I could have a real-life Fionn Cup Champion in my room. The price of the noise-canceling headphones will be worth it.”

Nesta shrugged. “I’d be surprised if he fit through your door, now that his ego is going to get even bigger.” 

“True, true. I’d hate for his massive head to break my roof.”

“Hello? I thought you’re supposed to be nice to Fionn Cup winners,” Cassian pouted.

Gwyn laughed. “Nice? Cassian, it’s like you don’t even know us.”

“I can be nice,” Rhys protested.

Everyone proceeded to burst out laughing.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesced. “I’m a demon just like the rest of you.” 

“That’s right,” Nesta grinned. “Accept your true nature and join our pit of darkness.”

Gwyn laughed evilly, “Mwahahaha!”

Nesta lifted her left hand, which Gwyn promptly high-fived. 

“Okay, anyway,” Elain interrupted, “Cassian, are you hungry? You must be tired after that amazing game.”

“Wow, thank you for being so considerate, Elain,” he said, extending her name pointedly. “I am actually pretty hungry and tired and sore after the game.” 

He turned his head to glare at Azriel, who was still holding him.

Az merely rolled his eyes. “Aw, poor baby. Does the little Fionn Cup Champion have a boo-boo?”

“Maybe he needs Nesta to kiss them better,” Gwyn suggested, not bothering to hide her smirk.

“Are you gonna tend to his wounds?”  Rhysand asked. “Nurse him to health?”

“I guess that depends on what it is that he’s hungry for,” Nesta replied with a wink.

They all burst out laughing a second later.

“Wow, you’re all so immature,” Cassian sniffed. “Elain is the only person fit for polite company.”

Rhysand glanced around. “What polite company?”

“Oh, no,” Azriel exclaimed. “We’re blaspheming! Now that Cassian’s won the Cup, we have to refer to him by his proper title: His Highness Sir Cassian of Illyrian.”

“I’m so sorry, my Lord,” Nesta added with a curtsey. “Please, forgive our disrespect.”

“Regency romance,” Gwyn fake-coughed into her elbow. 

“Of course, m’lady,” Cassian winked, “you’re forgiven. Although you may have to be punished for your transgressions.” 

Azriel pretended to gag. “Please, save the foreplay for the bedroom.”

“My poor, innocent ears,” Rhysand groaned. “I’ll never recover.”

Nesta turned to him. “Right, because you’ve never made out with my baby sister in public.” Then, she smirked. “Although, maybe you are innocent if that was too much for you. I mean, how vanilla are you?”

“Cassian,” Elain interrupted. “Do you want to go eat dinner at a restaurant or something?”

“That sounds amazing! How about the Greek place on 10th Avenue?” Cassian replied.

“Oh fine,” Rhys rolled his eyes playfully, “We’ll get food.” 

“I am actually really hungry, too,” Gwyn agreed.

“Well, if Gwyn is hungry, then we gotta go eat now!” Nesta declared.

Azriel nodded, his expression serious.

Cassian sighed. 

“I’ll meet you guys there,” Cassian called out as he walked towards his car with Nesta, “Or not. It’s also fine if you get lost on the way.” 

Azriel responded by raising a choice finger. 

The mirth was still in the air as Nesta closed the car door on the passenger’s side. 

“I can drive if you want,” she joked as Cassian slammed his door shut. Nesta was a notoriously reckless driver. She hated driving unless she had to, and Cassian loved driving, so it usually worked out perfectly. 

He laughed. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d like to live.” 

The car got quiet as the laughter faded. It filled instead with an intimate intensity.

Cassian turned slightly to buckle his seatbelt. 

Nesta reached over and placed a hand on his cheek. Cassian inhaled sharply and lifted his gaze to meet hers. Her thumb caressed his cheek. 

“Cassian,” she whispered. She knew the look in her eyes said it all already, but it had said it for so long and she’d never once let her tongue speak it. But Cassian — brilliant, beautiful, splendid Cassian who had been hurt far too much by the world — deserved to hear them aloud. It scared her for too many reasons to count, but if ever there was anyone worth confronting that fear for, it was this man who sat next to her in all his marvelous glory. 

His eyes were open — vulnerable, in a way he always was with her. Sometimes she wondered whether she deserved to be allowed to handle his precious heart that too many had tried to shatter. What if she dropped it or dented it with her harshness? But he entrusted her with it anyway. 

She took a deep breath. Then, she let it out, alongside the words she’d been holding in for so long.

“I love you.”

Cassian’s eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth to reply, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Not a single word escaped despite his attempts, but Nesta understood and just smiled, her eyes shining with joy. 

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to respond.”

Cassian looked frustrated at himself as a tear rolled down his cheek. “But I- I do. I-” He screwed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath. 

Nesta knew that those three words were not ones Cassian had heard very much in his life. Shirina had likely been the first to say those words to him in his memory, and that hadn’t been til his teen years. Cassian’s mother had most likely loved him, but Cassian’s memories of her were sparse. 

Enalius certainly loved Cassian, but Nesta was just as certain that he would not say it out aloud. Enalius showed his love through his coaching, his cheering, and the letters he’d send from all over the world. 

Ayla, Rhysand, and Azriel also loved Cassian and weren’t shy about it these days, although none of them were particularly vocal about it either. They preferred to show it through gifts and hugs and jokes and advice. When they had met, however, they had all been preteens who wouldn’t have been caught dead saying the words ‘I love you’.

Cassian had certainly had flings and girlfriends in the past. Nesta didn’t know the details of all of his past relationships, but she could easily guess that those words had seldom or, more likely, never been exchanged.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “You don’t need to say anything right now.” 

And then, just because she could — because she now had the freedom to say it without being caged by fear — she added, “I love you, Cassian.” 

Cassian answered with a kiss that said, ‘I love you more than words can ever express.’

__________

Present day

“I was such a mess,” Cassian recalled fondly. “Rhys and Az laughed at me for bawling so much.” 

“I remember Gwyn saying that she could take the trophy if it was making you so sad,” Nesta added. 

“Nah, I think I’ll keep it,” he laughed. Then, he added, “I love you.” 

“Are you talking to me or the trophy?” 

“Oh, the trophy, for sure.”

“Oh, good, just wanted to make sure.”

They grinned at each other.

“You have no idea how I felt when I saw you make that heart that day,” he said. “I mean, I was already elated because of the goal I’d just scored, but that couldn’t even compare to how I felt when I looked up at you. I think my heart literally skipped a beat.” 

“Better visit a cardiologist then,” Nesta answered lightly.

Cassian flicked her nose. She shrieked loudly in return.

“You know what you sound like?” Cassian tapped a photo in the middle, which was surrounded by doodles of musical notes.

Nesta mock-gasped. “Excuse you, I wasn’t that bad.”

“You’re right, you were worse.”

__________

Three years ago

“What’s that?” 

Nesta pointed towards a large, lumpy black bag resting against Cassian’s bedroom wall. 

“Oh, sorry, I was practicing earlier and forgot to put it away.” Cassian moved the bag to his closet. “It’s my guitar.”

Nesta placed her hand on Cassian’s wrist before he could shut the closet. 

“You play guitar?” 

“Yeah, it’s something I picked up when living with Shirina. I’m not a pro or anything, but it’s a fun hobby, you know.” 

“Wow, would you… could you play something for me?”  

Cassian seemed surprised but nodded, pulling the guitar back out of the closet. 

He sat down on the floor, his back resting against the bed. “What do you want me to play?”

Nesta sat down beside him. “Anything you want. Just play me something you enjoy playing.”

Cassian absently strummed the guitar a few times, deep in thought.

“Alright, sweetheart. Here we go. This song is called la rosa del principe.” Cassian closed his eyes and started playing. 

Nesta watched him with bright eyes, mesmerized. 

After a while, he started singing. His deep voice complemented the melody he was strumming. His singing was nice, but it was the passion in his voice that warmed Nesta’s insides. 

“Wow,” Nesta whispered when the song ended. 

Cassian chuckled. “Shirina loved that song. She’s the one that signed me up for some guitar lessons, you know. She taught me the lyrics to la rosa del principe when I told her I didn’t know them. She was always humming the melody when she was cooking or doing chores or whatever. I think it was a song her mom liked, so it reminded her of her childhood.”

“Does it remind you of your childhood?”

Cassian took a moment to contemplate his answer. “It reminds me of Shirina, and how kindly and lovingly she treated me. That wasn’t really a common theme in my childhood, you know, but I suppose you could say it reminds me of some of the best parts of my childhood.”

Nesta nudged his shoulder with hers comfortingly. He gently pushed back against her in a silent gesture of gratitude. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment. 

Then, Nesta pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered, “Could you teach me?” 

Cassian swallowed roughly and nodded. 

“The lyrics are kind of complicated, since it’s not in English, but I can just teach you the chorus for now if you want.”

“Sure,” she smiled.

Cassian spoke the lyrics slowly. Nesta tried to repeat after him, though she didn’t do the best job judging by Cassian’s chuckles. 

“Close. It’s tramonto, not tremare,” he corrected. 

“What do the lyrics mean?” Nesta asked. 

“The song is a love letter to a rose. It’s a metaphor for loving something so delicate and impermanent,” he explained. “The song is from the point of view of this guy who is so powerful — he’s a prince, he can travel across galaxies, he can do whatever he wants — but he feels so powerless because he knows he can’t control what happens to this rose that he loves. And even though he’s rich and powerful, he gets lonely a lot and his rose is his only companion so he dreads the thought of leaving it or having it disappear.”

“That sounds kind of tragic.”

“I guess so, but it’s not sad per se. It’s more like a reminder of the importance of love rather than materialistic things, and not taking your loved ones for granted.” 

He kissed her cheek. 

Nesta smiled. “That’s beautiful.”

Cassian hummed in agreement. “It’s such a Shirina song. She loved songs with morals like that, that remind you to appreciate what you have. She was so down-to-Earth, even though her husband was one of the richest, most powerful people around here. It’s…” He trailed off with a sigh. 

“I’m glad you met her,” Nesta said quietly after a moment. “She sounds like a great person and I’m so happy you had her in your life.”

“Yeah, me too.” He took a deep breath. “I wish you could’ve met her. I think… I think she would have loved you.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

They sat quietly for a moment. Then, Cassian grinned mischievously. 

“Cas! What the fu-” yelped Nesta as he lifted her up. 

He placed her between his legs with a huff of laughter. She leaned back into him, her back pressing against his front. 

Cassian placed the guitar in her lap. 

“Alright, it’s time for you to learn how to play this magnificent instrument,” he declared. 

“Okay, but I’m just warning you, I don’t really have experience playing instruments.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m just here to help you learn some basics. Besides, you’re a dancer so you have some experience with rhymes and stuff. How bad could you be?”

Holding her hands in his, he demonstrated how to hold the guitar and how to strum a basic chord. 

“You got it!” Cassian cheered as Nesta played a C chord that didn’t sound half bad. 

“Ok, so then,” Cassian moved their hands to a different position. “Use your pointer finger to hold down this string. Good! Your middle finger holds this one and your ring finger holds this one.” 

He continued his explanation of different chords and strumming patterns. 

“So, basically, you just hold down different strings and strum up and down for different notes, right?” Nesta asked as he finished.

Cassian chuckled. “Basically, yeah.”

“Alright.” Nesta wiggled her hands free from Cassian’s grasp and took a dramatic deep breath. “It’s time. I’m going to play.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you going to play? I haven’t taught you how to play la rosa del principe yet.”

She shrugged. “I’m just going to let my imagination and inspiration guide me.” 

“Uh, I’m not sure that’s going to turn out-”

A jumbled chord cut him off. 

“Um-” 

What followed next was the most chaotic, screechy minute of guitar playing Cassian had ever heard. The torture likely would have continued for longer, since he didn’t have the heart to stop Nesta, if they hadn’t been interrupted by the Cassian’s bedroom door slamming open.

Azriel yelled, “Cassian! I think a cat is dying in your ro- oh, hey Nesta.”

“Hey Az!” she replied, beaming at Cassian’s roommate until she registered his words. “Wait, what? You think I sound like a dying cat?” 

Azriel took a step back, prepared to run away, as Nesta stood up and placed the guitar in Cassian’s lap. 

“Well, you know, uh, it’s good to practice and all, but we don’t want noise complaints from our neighbors, or allegations of animal abuse so…” Az smirked.

“Wha- animal- Get back here you little-” Nesta sprinted down the hallway, chasing after a cackling Azriel. 

Cassian was still sitting there, laughing, when the two of them ran back into the room. 

“Save me, Cass!” Azriel pleaded as he tried to hide behind his friend. 

Nesta smirked. “You really think you can use my boyfriend against me like this?”

“He was my friend first!” Azriel gripped his sleeve.

Nesta rolled her eyes. 

“Please Cassian,” she said in an airy voice. She looked up at him through her lashes and gently tugged on his sleeve. 

He followed her lead without even thinking, until Azriel muttered, “Traitor.”

“Hey, wait-” Cassian interjected, coming to his senses.

Nesta stuck her tongue out at Az. “He loves me.” 

Whatever Cassian could have said on Azriel’s behalf dissipated when her eyes softened as they met his. 

Even Azriel’s over-the-top gagging noises couldn’t ruin the moment as Nesta smiled at him and murmured, “Can you teach me how to play la rosa del principe later?” 

“We’ll see,” Cassian replied with a smile, knowing full well that he’d cave into her demands, no matter the cost to his ears.

__________

Present day

“I love that you wanted to learn how to play guitar for me.” Cassian’s eyes were warm and full of mirth. “Even if playing music isn’t exactly your strong suit.” 

Nesta placed a hand over her heart. “How dare you suggest such a thing.” 

Her stern demeanor gave way to playfulness as she winked, “I guess you’ll just have to sing and play music for me while I dance.”

“Exactly. You see, Nes, we complement each other perfectly.”

“A match made in heaven,” she agreed with a laugh. 

“Honestly, though, it meant a lot to me that you wanted to hear me play,” Cassian said when they stopped laughing, “and that you wanted to learn.”

“It meant a lot to me that you were willing to share such a personal song with me,” Nesta answered, “and that you were willing to be so open with me without prompting. It was like a sign, you know, that our relationship was actually real and meaningful to you, too. Of course I already knew that but, like, I guess it just hit home right then.” 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. In that moment, I also felt how easy it was to be open and talk about anything and everything with you.”

“You see?” Nesta winked, gesturing between them. “We’re made for each other.”

She glanced down at the pictures between them. 

“At least I don’t need to put up with Az insulting my musical talents anymore, now that you don’t live together.”

“Talents?” Cassian coughed. 

Nesta shot him a warning glare before continuing, “I’m so glad I don’t need to hear him complaining or interrupting us anymore. That was the real reason I asked you to live with me, you know — so I wouldn’t have to hear his whining.”

“Oh, I’m well aware,” he replied. He leaned closer to her. “It was all part of my plan, Sweetheart.”

__________

Two years ago

“Don’t mind me, I just need to get to the kettle.”

Nesta and Cassian sprung apart at Azriel’s words. 

Azriel, with a bored expression, walked past the couple into the kitchen and filled water in the kettle. 

Cassian hastily redid his fly, clearing his throat a few times. Nesta, blushing furiously, scrambled to hook her bra and do up the buttons on her shirt. 

Azriel turned back around, leaning back against the counter as he waited for the water to boil. He reached into his back pocket for his phone, but noticed Nesta’s expression and rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, Nesta, chill. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” 

Cassian furrowed his eyebrows. “What?” he growled. 

Azriel shook his head in exasperation. “How many times have I walked in on you two making out — hell, how many times have I walked in on you two fucking in common spaces? At this point, I’m immune to all this.” He waved his hand at Nesta’s half-open shirt and Cassian’s bare chest. 

Cassian slipped his shirt over his head. 

“Really?” Nesta asked, arching a perfectly angled eyebrow and tossing her hair over her shoulder. Cassian elbowed her and she giggled, buttoning up the rest of her shirt. 

“Az-” Cassian began, annoyance coloring his tone.

“No,” Azriel interrupted firmly. “If you don’t want me to walk in or interrupt you or whatever, go do whatever you want in your room. I’ve never once complained about the noise, even when I have to put up with your loud-ass moans and screams. But I have the right to make tea in my own house if I want to.” 

Cassian narrowed his eyes. His stance changed unconsciously, gearing up for a fight. He opened his mouth to deliver a biting retort. 

“You’re right, Az,” Nesta interjected before the situation could escalate any further. “We’re sorry.”

Azriel was silent, his eyes fixed on Cassian. The latter let Nesta pull him towards his bedroom. 

About a week later, Cassian and Nesta were once again interrupted. This time, Azriel crunched loudly on his popcorn as he walked into the living room.

Cassian sent him a questioning glare as Nesta scrambled to cover herself.

“What?” Azriel replied, unfazed. “I was gonna watch TV, but, well, it seems like there’s a show right here.”

“Look-”

“C’mon, Cass.” Nesta sprung up from the couch, dressed in Cassian’s shirt, and took her boyfriend’s hand. “I needed to talk to you about something, anyway.” She winked at him and whispered, “I got a little side-tracked and forgot.”

Cassian shot Az a dirty look as he exited the room. 

“Did you actually need to talk about something,” Cassian asked with a smile as he sat down on his bed and placed Nesta on his lap, “or did you just want to distract me?”

He leaned his forehead against hers. 

Nesta laughed lightly. “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t always lie to manipulate you.” 

He widened his eyes in false disbelief. “Really?”

She shook her head with a grin. “Why would I when I can manipulate you just as well with the truth?”

“Ooh, you saucy witch,” Cassian joked.  

They both laughed.

Nesta pressed a hand to Cassian’s cheek to stop him as he leaned in to kiss her.

“I do actually want to talk about something.”

He leaned back and cocked his head. “What’s up?”

The twinkle in Nesta’s eyes dimmed.

“It’s my apartment.” She swallowed. “My landlord is raising the rent.” 

“Again?” he replied, alarmed. It had only been four months since the last time her rent had increased.

She nodded. “Yeah. And it’s not… I mean, it would be ridiculous for me to stay there, even if I managed to afford it. It’s definitely not worth the new rent.”

“So you want to move?” 

“Yeah.” 

Cassian seemed confused by her nervous tone. “Alright, well, don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll help you with all your stuff, and I know a guy with a moving truck. It’ll all be okay. We’ll find you a way better place to live.” 

He gave her an encouraging squeeze and smile that she didn’t return.

“Uh, well, um. Actually, I was wondering if…” Nesta rolled her lips.

Cassian frowned, concerned by Nesta’s hesitant tone.

“Could I- I mean, I already spend so much time at your place,” she continued, “and I stay here a lot and we- um. Since I have to get a new place…”

“Of course you can stay here while you look for a new place!” Cassian replied.

“Oh!” Nesta sounded surprised. “No, I- I mean, thank you. But, uh, that’s not really what I was gonna…” She shook her head, annoyed at her own incoherence. “That’s really sweet of you, Cass.”

Cassian gave her a long look, trying to decipher her thoughts. “Are you trying to find a place on this block? I can try to get the inside scoop if that’s what you were asking.”

“No, no, that’s not what I-” She took a deep breath and then looked into Cassian's eyes. “Would you want to live with me?”

Cassian blinked. “Oh! Oh, I-” He started to grin. Then, he blinked again, and his face fell. “Oh, uh, I…”

“It’s totally fine if not!” Nesta quickly backtracked. “I know you already signed this lease and stuff, and I can definitely just move-”

“No, it’s- I-” It was Cassian’s turn to take a deep breath. “Nesta, I would love to live with you and I’m honored that you asked me and I’m- I’m so, so happy that you want to live with me. But, well, I just don’t know if it will work out, considering.” He shot a glance towards the door. 

Nesta got up from Cassian’s lap. “Oh.” She looked away from him as she gathered her clothes off the floor, trying to disguise her hurt. “Um, okay. Yeah. I get it.” Her thoughts spiraled as she changed out of Cassian’s shirt.

“Nes! Nesta, I…” Cassian seemed to be at a loss for words. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied half-heartedly after a beat. 

“Nes, I just…” he sounded frustrated. “You know how things have been lately, with Az. As much as I… I don’t think it’s realistic to think that he’d be okay with it, and of course I’d talk to him beforehand but, like, it is his place too and…”

She gave a noncommittal hum in reply.

The room was drenched in tense silence.

“Can you just be honest?” Nesta said finally, puncturing the tension. “If you don’t want to move in with me, just say it. I understand you’re renting this place with Az, but he isn’t unreasonable. We both know that if you talked about it, he’d be cool with it. Maybe he’d ask you to wait for a bit, until the end of this lease or whatever, but he wouldn’t stop you. So just tell me why you don’t want to live with me, because I- I thought we were… that this was…”

“I am being honest,” Cassian frowned. 

She gave an irritated sigh. 

“No, really, I am,” he insisted. “You were there with me in the living room, weren’t you? Didn’t you see how pissed he was? I guess maybe it wasn’t- Az isn’t the type to yell or anything. That quiet, passive-aggressive type shit is how he expresses his annoyance.”

“So?” Nesta bit back. “If anything, I would have thought he’d be glad if we weren’t here as often.”

“Exactly! I don’t think we should spend more time here.”

Nesta paused. “What?”

“I know you and Az do get along,” he said, “but I really don’t think he’d be fine with you moving in here.”

“Here? Wait, you thought- Oh. Oh!” Nesta brightened visibly.

“What?” Cassian seemed bewildered by her sudden change in mood. 

“Cassian, I wasn’t asking to move in here,” she laughed. “I was asking you to move in with me at a new place we’ll find together.”

Cassian’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Yes, of course, I’d love that! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I thought- but- yes!”

Nesta grinned. “I should’ve been clearer, sorry about that.”

“No, no, it’s on me.” His face slowly spread into a grin. “Guess we’ll have to work on communicating better if we’re gonna live together, huh?”

“I guess so,” she beamed.

Nesta embraced Cassian tightly. 

“We’re living together!” she whispered excitedly.

He hugged her back. “Yes, we are,” he replied just as thrilled.

__________

Present day

“I can’t believe we were so stupid,” Nesta laughed.

“I know right?” Cassian looked down at the photo once more. “No, but seriously, I was so elated when we moved into this place.”

Nesta smiled fondly. “Yeah, me too. I smiled for, like, 48 hours straight, even though we had to carry all those boxes and,” she paused dramatically, “unpack.” She shuddered. 

“Ah, yes, unpacking — the harshest of struggles.”

“I’m so glad you understand.”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind unpacking, but well,” Cassian ran a hand through his hair suavely, “some people are just built different.”

Nesta flipped him off playfully.

“Aw, sweetheart, don’t be jealous,” he replied consolingly, “I have my own weaknesses. Like, I hate packing.”

She huffed. “Cass-”

“What? Oh, c’mon, what’s the point of my trauma if I can’t joke about it?” 

She shook her head with a chuckle. “So you’re saying that all that trauma was just character development so you could increase your humor stats?”

Cassian pointed finger guns at her. “Cha-ching! Now you get it.” 

Nesta laughed. 

She looked around, still awed by the beautiful display Cassian had set up for her. She picked up a rose petal and admired its color and scent. As she fiddled with it, she was suddenly struck by a thought. 

“Where are Ara and Lina?” 

“They’re with Em,” Cassian said reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean all this stuff up before they get back.”

“Oh, they love being at Emerie’s place. They get along so well with Siph, it’s crazy.” Nesta paused, struck by another thought. “Wait, but why did you ask her to watch them? I mean, why did you organize this whole-”

“Remember when we got them?” Cassian interrupted, pointing to another polaroid. “They used to be so tiny! It’s crazy how much they’ve grown.”

Nesta cocked her head, confused by Cassian ignoring her question. Before she could continue her line of questioning, however, her eyes landed on the photo he was indicating and she got sidetracked. 

“Oh my gosh, yeah,” she breathed as she reminisced. “I can’t believe we thought we were going to walk into the shelter without adopting a pet.”

“I can’t believe we told the landlord that we didn’t care about the pet policy because we were never going to get one,” he answered. 

“We’re so lucky we accidentally got an apartment that allows pets,” she agreed. 

“I’ll never forget the look on Cresseida’s face when we told her,” Cassian added. 

She replied, “She made sure we’d never forget. She was saying ‘I told you so’ for months.”

__________

One year ago

 “We’ll stop by for a bit, but we’re not adopting any pets,” Nesta repeated for the fifth time in the past ten minutes.

“Okay,” Cresseida answered with a knowing smirk, “but it’s also okay if you change your mind.”

Cresseida, Emerie’s girlfriend, ran a pet shelter with her best friend, Nuala. She had invited all of Emerie’s friends to stop by anytime, saying that she and the animals enjoyed having company. 

Nesta and Cassian had resisted at first, since they weren’t looking for pets and, in Nesta’s words, “weren’t the pet type”. Neither of them had ever owned a pet before. While they respected people who loved their pets, they also enjoyed making fun of those who dressed up in matching outfits with their pets for Halloween and talked about their pets as though they were their children. Also, while Nesta didn’t dislike animals per se, she also didn’t like them enough to feel any desire to live with one 24/7, let alone take care of one. Cassian liked animals well enough but he’d had some bad experiences with stray dogs when he was a kid. When they visited friends who owned big dogs who would greet visitors by pouncing on them or barking excitedly, Cassian would always plaster a fake smile on his face, but she’d feel him flinch.  

However, when Emerie used her puppy-dog eyes and pleaded with Nesta to just go once to support her girlfriend’s work, she’d caved and agreed to visit. Cassian and Gwyn — both of whom had yet to visit the shelter — came along with her, saying they should all just get it over with together. 

“This side of the shelter has dogs,” Cresseida said as they walked in, “and this side has cats. There are also some other animals in the back section. Feel free to walk around and ask me if you have any questions. Right now, most of the animals are in their individual kennels and the kennel doors are locked but let me know if you want to play with any of them.” 

“Alright, thanks,” Nesta replied.

She and Cassian shared a look. Both of them wanted to humor Cresseida, who was a great person and also the best girlfriend Emerie had (at least in Nesta’s opinion), but they both knew they wouldn’t be interested in any animals. They would just wander around the shelter until an appropriate amount of time had passed and they could politely leave. 

“Ooh, a kitten!” Gwyn exclaimed, grabbing Nesta’s hand and pulling her into the cat section.

Meanwhile, Cassian followed Cresseida into a different area.

 “Oh my gosh, this baby is only 12 weeks old,” Gwyn cooed at the striped tabby cat. “Isn’t she adorable?”

“She is cute,” Nesta admitted, but Gwyn had already moved on.

“Wow, this cat has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen! Oh, and look at this one! Do you see the face he’s making?”

Nesta laughed and followed her friend, nodding along to Gwyn’s excited commentary. 

Finally, Gwyn came to a halt with a gasp. She kneeled down wordlessly in front of an orange kitten, who blinked back at her sleepily. Nesta kneeled down next to Gwyn. She looked at the kennel in front of her. A jet-black cat was at the other corner of the kennel, hissing and growling at the young boy who was trying to attract its attention. His mother pulled him away just as the cat attempted to scratch the child through the glass. 

“Crazy feral cat,” Nesta heard the mother grumble under her breath as they walked away. 

Nesta raised an eyebrow at the cat, who regarded her with an equally judgemental expression. Nesta took a step closer to the glass. The cat did the same. 

She tuned out Gwyn mumbling something. Instead, she turned her focus to the tag on the kennel.

“Oh, wow, you still don’t have a name even though you’re eight months old, huh,” Nesta said. She had always thought it was a bit silly how pet owners talked to animals as though they could really answer, but now she found it to be the most natural thing in the world. Especially when the cat meowed in response.

Nesta cocked her head. The cat studied her for a few seconds. It stared intensely with its yellow eyes. Then, it tilted its head, copying her. 

She couldn’t help but melt. How was it possible that such a sweet cat had yet to find a home?

“Nesta! There you are!” 

Nesta jolted as Cresseida’s voice interrupted her thoughts. 

“I see you found little Miss Onyx over here,” Cresseida smiled. “I’ve never seen her be so friendly with any customers before.”

“Is her name Onyx, then?”

“Oh, no. We have tried to name her before, but she seems to hate every name we’ve tried, so we kind of gave up,” Cresseida explained. “We couldn’t keep calling her ‘the unnamed black cat’, though, so now we just refer to her by black object names.” Cresseida turned towards the cat. “Isn’t that right, Blackberry?” 

The cat hissed and retreated to the corner of her kennel closest to Nesta. 

Cresseida laughed. “See?” Then, she sent Nesta a knowing glance. “She seems to adore you.”

Nesta glanced back at the cat, who was now sitting with a paw on the glass.

“She is very cute,” she admitted. 

“She is,” Cresseida agreed. “Sadly, she’s fierce enough that she scares away most customers.”

“It’s like she’s made for Nesta!” Gwyn piped up. “I mean, look at her spunky attitude, her fierceness, her witchy vibes — since, you know, she’s a black cat.”

“I don’t have witchy vibes,” Nesta muttered.

Gwyn ignored her. “Not to mention, she’s right next to Mer,” she pointed to the orange cat, “who is my soulmate cat so our cats are destined to be best friends, just like us!”

“Wow, I didn’t- I haven’t said I’m adopting her yet,” Nesta protested.

“Yet,” Gwyn repeated, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

Cresseida laughed. “Well, let me know if you are seriously interested in adopting Miss Obsidian. There’s a few things you would need to keep in mind for her that we should talk about.”

Nesta nodded.

“What about Mer?” Gwyn asked. “Any special care she needs that I should know about?”

“Not really. We did have her on a special diet for a bit because she was slightly malnourished when we found her but she’s at a healthy weight now.”

Nesta walked away as Gwyn and Cresseida continued their animated discussion. How was she going to convince Cassian to adopt a cat? Actually, Nesta knew that wouldn’t be an issue — Cassian would surely jump at any opportunity to make her happy. The real question was how she was going to put aside her pride and admit that she wanted to adopt the cat. She would also have to see if Cassian wanted to adopt the cat, too, and not just for her sake. It would be unfair to both Cassian and the cat to bring her into a home where only one person truly loved her. Not that Cassian wouldn’t be kind to the cat, regardless — it was just that Nesta wanted Cassian to adopt the cat because it made him happy, instead of doing it for Nesta’s sake. 

Nesta was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she walked right into someone. 

“Excuse me,” Nesta apologized. The man turned around.

“You’re excused, Nes,” Cassian replied with a wink. 

“Oh, fuck you,” she groaned, holding back a smile. 

“I know I’m hot, but you’re gonna have to wait til we get home.” 

She replied with a soft punch to his shoulder. Cassian fell to the floor dramatically. 

A bark sounded from the kennel right in front of Cassian. Nesta quickly examined Cassian for any signs of fear, but he wasn’t flinching. Instead, he tugged gently on her arm. 

“Nes,” he said with a grin as she sat down beside him, “Let me introduce you to my new friend, Lina.” 

Nesta turned to find a large golden retriever wagging her tail energetically. She was beautiful and friendly, but she also definitely weighed more than twenty kilograms and had a full set of sharp teeth. In short, she was exactly the type of dog that Cassian would usually be uncomfortable around. 

Yet, here he was, saying, “Look, I know we agreed that we were just looking around and we weren’t going to adopt any pets but look at her! Her cute paws, that gorgeous fur, and those eyes! And she’s so happy to see me! Doesn’t it just make you want to keep her forever?”

His expression said it all: he’d fallen completely in love with this dog. 

“Cassian…” 

His expression dropped. “I know taking care of a pet is a lot of work. If we did adopt her, I would walk her and figure out her food and vet stuff, but she would be living with both of us, so I would never want to adopt her if you weren’t completely on board. And having a pet would affect our lifestyle and our day-to-day lives a lot, so I understand if you’d rather not adopt her.”

“Do you want to adopt her?” Nesta blurted out. 

Cassian looked confused. 

“I mean, she’s obviously a beautiful and friendly dog, but she’s in a kennel right now,” Nesta explained. “If we adopt her, she could jump on you or bite you or scratch you. Won’t you be on edge having a dog in our apartment all the time, even if you’re tired or having a rough day?” 

“All the other dogs I’ve met make me nervous, either when they bark or pant or just by being close to me. They remind me of rough times in my childhood, when I was scared and in danger. But for some reason, Lina is different. I don’t get any of that fear or anxiety around her. In fact, it’s the opposite. She makes me feel relaxed and happy. I think she actually makes me feel safe.” Cassian ran a hand through his hair. “Weird, huh?”

Nesta smiled. “I’m glad you found her. I still want you to take her for a walk before we sign anything if we’re going to adopt her.”

“Wait, but- We don’t need to adopt her just because I want to. If you don’t want a pet, you shouldn’t agree just for my sake,” he added hurriedly. Still, Nesta could see the corners of his mouth tilting up. 

“Yes, I want to adopt her! And,” Nesta continued, seeing Cassian opening his mouth to argue, “do you really think that I would ever agree to something I didn’t want to do, just for someone else’s sake?”

“Yeah, I do. I know you’re a big softie,” Cassian teased. 

She laughed. “Well, trust me, I do want to adopt a pet.”

“Of course she wants to!” Gwyn interjected, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. “You should have seen her with that cat. It was like she’d found her twin flame! No offense, Cassian.”

“Wait, what cat?” he replied, befuddled. 

Nesta attempted to wave him off. “It’s nothing-”

“It’s not nothing!” Gwyn interrupted animatedly. “It’s her cat soulmate! A little ball of anger and adorable-ness, just like our little Nesta here.”

Nesta sent her friend a flat look. “Thanks a lot for that description.”

Gwyn just shrugged. “What? You know I’m right.” 

“Where can I find this cat?” Cassian asked. 

Gwyn pointed him in the right direction, telling him about all the ways in which the cat represented Nesta while pointedly ignoring Nesta’s calls of “No, it’s fine” and “You don’t need to go look at the cat” and “I don’t have spooky evil vibes!”. 

“Aww, look at her,” Cassian smiled as he crouched in front of the black cat’s kennel. 

The cat hissed in return.  

“You’re so beautiful, aren’t you? Yes, you are! Good girl!” cooed Cassian. 

The cat abruptly stopped hissing. She stared at him unblinkingly before purring quietly.

Gwyn erupted with laughter. “Wow, she really is just like Nesta, huh? Everything down to the praise ki-”

Her words were cut off as Nesta covered Gwyn’s mouth with her hand. 

“What the fuck, Gwyn! She’s a cat! That’s disgusting,” Nesta hissed in her ear. 

Gwyn licked Nesta’s palm, and used the moment Nesta recoiled as a distraction to pull her hand off. 

“I just tell it how I see it,” Gwyn declared. “And I have never once been disgusting.”

“Oh really?” Nesta replied, bringing the hand Gwyn had licked close to Gwyn’s face. 

Gwyn screeched and ran down to hide behind Cassian.

Cassian remained focused on the cat. “Oh, you’re such a sweetheart. What’s your name, baby?”

“She doesn’t have a name yet,” Nesta supplied, before bringing her licked hand around Cassian to reach for Gwyn. The redhead let out another shriek and ran. 

Nesta could see the moment Cassian melted. His posture seemed to go soft as his expression turned even more tender. 

“You don’t have a name yet, huh?” he murmured. “I guess you need a family to give you a name and a home and some love.”

She placed her non-licked hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. She didn’t need to ask to know that he was thinking of his own childhood — when he’d needed a home and a family, too. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered, “me and your mom are going to give you so much love.”

“Cass, are you sure?” she questioned gently. She ignored how it made her feel to hear him refer to her as ‘mom’. There was too much to unpack there, and she would save it for later, after they’d finished making important decisions. 

“Look at her, Nes,” he replied. “It’s like she was made for us.”

Nesta knew it was more than just about the resemblances between her and the cat that Gwyn had pointed out. It was about how this cat hissed and growled at strangers, putting her guard up, but really was just a sweet kitten who needed some love. Both of them could relate to putting on a tough face to hide how vulnerable and hurt they really were. She knew Cassian was thinking that this cat would be a perfect addition to their lives.

“But what about Lina?” Nesta insisted. 

“You love this cat. Don’t try to deny it, I can tell.”

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I think,” Cassian said carefully, “we both love this cat and we should adopt her.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “And what are we doing about the fact that we both love Lina?” 

This wasn’t just about the animals, and they both knew that. 

It wasn’t that Nesta didn’t think Cassian wanted to adopt the cat — she knew he really, truly did. But she also knew that he wanted to adopt Lina. She wouldn’t let him give up on his wishes and always put her needs above his. While she appreciated the sentiment, she also knew he had a tendency to discount his own desires. She needed him to know that what he wanted mattered just as much.

Cassian let out a big breath like a deflating mattress, the fight going out of him. 

“I love Lina, I do. And I know it’s so special that I feel so safe around her — around a big dog with sharp teeth. But Nes,” his voice took on a different tone, “at the end of the day, she’s a friendly golden retriever. I’m sure a million families with white picket fences are lining up to adopt her. And this cat… I mean, she doesn’t even have a name.” 

His Adam's apple bobbed.

“I know we could love either of them, and they’d be incredible. But at least with Lina, I know she’ll find someone else to take care of her. I don’t know if this cat will find that, and she’s too…” Cassian paused to search for a word. His nose scrunched in frustration as his vocabulary failed him. “She’s too precious for me to take that chance.” 

He needed his kitten to find a home. He couldn’t risk her never finding a family — not when he had so much love he could give her. 

Nesta contemplated silently. 

“Okay,” she finally said, her eyes piercing through him as though she intended to read his heart. “If you’re sure that’s what you want to do, we’ll get this cat.”

Cassian smiled. “Look at us, being real adults. Can you believe we’re going to be parenting this cutie?”

“Parenting,” repeated Nesta with a snort. “Don’t say it like that. It sounds like we’re having a baby or something. People are going to think I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant?” Gwyn exclaimed, reappearing next to Nesta from wherever she’d run off to. She had clearly only caught the tail end of Nesta’s sentence. 

“Wow, I’m so excited to be an aunt! Do you know the sex yet? Wait, how far along do you need to be to know that? How many months are you, by the way?” Gwyn spoke too rapidly for anyone to get a word in. “I had no idea about this! How have you been hiding the morning sickness? Or does everyone know about this already? Oh, gosh, this is so exciting!” 

Nesta stayed silent, trying to hold in her smile. Cassian just looked bewildered. 

Gwyn gave Nesta a light hug. “Oh, wow, this is crazy! Am I the first one to know? Wait, is it ok if I tell people? You can tell me if it’s still a secret, don’t worry.” 

Cassian blinked. “No, that’s-”

“Oh, perfect!” Gwyn squealed. She reached over to hug Cassian, too. “Oh, I can’t wait to tell Emerie! Oh my god, and Az! His reaction is going to be insane!” 

She practically skipped down the hallway, her fingers already tapping away on her phone.

Cassian raised an eyebrow at Nesta. “What just happened?”

Nesta finally let out a laugh. “Just Gwyn being Gwyn, I suppose.”

“You don’t mind?”

“I’m actually curious to see how far this goes.” She leaned forward, pressing her side against him. “Do you think they’ll throw me a surprise baby shower?”

“Rhys is going to be so pissed I’m having a baby before him,” Cassian grinned. “It’ll be hilarious.”

“We could tell them we’re having a daughter,” Nesta added, jerking her head towards the kitten.

Cassian laughed. He stood up and stretched out his body, likely feeling a slight ache because he’d been crouching for several minutes. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “This is why I love you, you mastermind.”

His lips brought with them a wave of warmth that spread through her veins.

“Time to go tell Cresseida that we are going to adopt a pet after all,” Nesta chirped. 

Cassian groaned. “How about you go tell her, since you’re the one who was looking at this cat first,” he suggested.

“But you made the final decision,” she countered. 

“Well, no, I,” Cassian wracked his brain to find an excuse, “I think you would, uh, be better at filling out the paperwork.”

“Hmm,” Nesta tapped a finger to her chin and pretended to consider his offer, “How about… you do it?”

They were saved from their squabble when Gwyn reappeared with Cresseida in tow.

“So, can I take Mer home with me today or should I set up my place to be cat-ready first?” Gwyn was saying. 

“Ah, Cresseida! Just the person we were looking for!” Cassian interjected. “Nesta wanted to ask you something.”

Nesta sent him a frigid side eye that would have sent anyone else running for the hills, but only made Cassian grin. 

“We were thinking about adopting her,” Nesta said, pointing at the cat in question, “and were wondering what we need to do to make that happen? Is there just paperwork or something else we need to do?”

Cresseida’s expression changed completely. “I knew you would all walk out of here with pets!” she exclaimed triumphantly. Then she sobered slightly. “I’m so glad you’re interested in this cat, but like I mentioned earlier, there is something you should know.” 

Nesta nodded sharply. The anticipation and anxiety started to creep up on her. Was the cat sick? Or disabled in some way? Perhaps she and Cassian, as first time pet owners, weren’t equipped to give her the care she needed. 

“When we found her, she was only about two months old,” Cresseida explained. “We’re not quite sure what happened to her mother, since she didn’t seem to be with her family. But she had already bonded to another animal. They’re still quite close. Even though they’re generally kept in separate kennels, we usually let them play with each other once or twice a day, or she’ll start to get antsy. If at all possible, it would be best not to separate them. It may be possible for her to get used to living without her bonded friend, especially if she’s in an environment where she’s well-loved and taken care of, but it would be very difficult on both of them. So if you would consider adopting both of them, that would really be for the best.”

“Like, another cat?” Nesta inquired.

“It’s not Mer, is it?” Gwyn asked, looking worried. “If it is, I guess I’m going to have to move in with Nesta and Cassian.” Her face suddenly brightened. “I can be like a live-in nanny!”

“No, it’s not Mer,” Cresseida replied, “and it’s actually not another cat. It’s quite a unique situation. We’re still not sure how these two found each other and came to be bonded, but the other animal is actually a dog.”

“Oh.” Nesta felt her heart sink. She would hate to separate the cat from the one other animal that had been with her since she was a baby, but she also couldn’t adopt a dog. She wouldn’t allow Cassian to feel unsafe in his own home. 

“We could adopt both-” Cassian began, just as she knew he would.

“No,” she cut in. She didn’t care if it made her seem like the villain in Cresseida’s eyes. “I’m sorry, we can’t.”

Her eyes shifted to the kitten once more. The cat truly was adorable. Nesta would miss her tremendously, even though they’d only just met. Still, she couldn’t separate her from the friend who’d become her family. She would have to let her go. It hurt, but she knew it was for the best.

“I don’t think we’ll adopt her after all,” Nesta said. Though she had once prided herself on hiding her true emotions from the world, she could tell that both Gwyn and Cassian instantly read the meaning behind her aloof tone. 

“Yeah, you’re right, that’s probably the right decision,” Gwyn supplied. “Adopting pets and having a baby at the same time would be really hard.”

Cassian kept silent. She knew he was itching to deny it, to demand that she adopt the cat anyway, his feelings be damned. She was glad that he knew her well enough that she would not be swayed, and that his well-being mattered more to her than anything else. 

Cresseida sighed, disappointed. “I understand,” she said, resigned. “Dogs aren’t for everyone, especially if you have a lot on your plate. This dog really is the sweetest, although if you are allergic, a golden retriever wouldn’t be the right breed.”

“Hold on, did you say a golden retriever?” Cassian interjected. “You’re not talking about Lina, are you?”

Cresseida looked surprised. “I am, actually. I assume you’ve already made her acquaintance, then?”

“Wait, you’re saying we can adopt both Lina and this cat? And they wouldn’t fight or hurt each other?” Cassian repeated, as though he couldn’t believe his ears. It sounded too good to be true.

“They do play-fight occasionally, but no, they don’t hurt each other and they get along great. But, I understand that you can’t adopt a dog,” Cresseida answered, slightly confused. 

Cassian turned to Nesta. 

“Did you hear that, Nes? We can adopt them both.” 

He was beaming. 

“They’re so perfect,” he repeated as they brought Lina and the cat home a week later, after they’d made all the necessary preparations. “It’s like we were made to find them.”

She felt like she was floating, swept up by the exuberance in his eyes.

When she watched the kitten curl up in Cassian’s lap while Lina sat beside them, a paw resting against the cat’s back, she couldn’t find a name for the feeling that bubbled up inside her. The only viable contenders — love and contentment — seemed too small to capture it all.

When Cassian later asked her what she wanted to name the cat, she looked at the life they’d built together — the bookshelves lined with hockey history books and romance novels, the kitchen counter where Cassian’s favorite chocolate lay beside her mountainous tea collection, the polaroid pictures of them stuck to the fridge with magnets, and the pets filling their home with affection — and replied, “Ataraxia.”

Peace. 

__________

Present day

“I can’t even bring Ara and Lina around Cresseida anymore,” Cassian grumbled. “She always just talks about how incredible it was that we actually believed we’d leave her shelter without a pet.”

“She’s a menace,” Nesta agreed, though her words lacked any real bite. 

They both adored Cresseida, and were delighted at how happy she made Emerie. It was only that Cresseida shared their friend group’s penchant for teasing their friend mercilessly. 

“Her cooking is amazing though, so she makes up for it,” Nesta continued. “I had no idea vegan food could taste that good until I met her.”

“Speaking of cooking…” Cassian pointed to the last photo. It was labeled ‘cooking breakfast’.

Nesta leaned in closer to inspect the image. “When was this?”

“What? You don’t remember?” Cassian gasped in mock offense.

Then, he took her hand. “Don’t worry, I’ll remind you.”

__________

Three months ago

Cassian awoke to the birds chirping and the smell of pancakes permeating the air. He rolled over in bed, reaching out for Nesta, only to find her side of the bed empty. 

He let out a small sigh. 

It was a Saturday morning, and his favorite thing to do on weekends when they didn’t have anything planned was to spend lazy mornings in bed with her. During the week, both of them were too busy to linger in bed. Snoozing their alarms once was the extent of their indulgence. 

But on weekends, Cassian liked to savor the feeling of Nesta lying beside him. He would lay in silence, taking it all in — the blankets warmed by their body heat, the way Nesta’s hair glowed in the morning light, the gentle pressuring of her body laying against his. Eyes half-open, he would breathe deeply and allow the peaceful contentment to fill his lungs. When Nesta woke up, there would be time for slow kisses, quiet conversations, and tender lovemaking. Their room would fill with soft but unbound laughter and playful quips. Later, they would make their way to the kitchen. One of them (usually Cassian) would cook brunch while the other did the dishes, swept the floor, or started a load of laundry. 

This morning, it seemed that Nesta had broken their usual routine. 

As Cassian rolled out of bed, his eyes caught the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was 10:05 am, far later than he usually woke up on weekends. Cassian was almost always the first to wake, generally around 8 or 9 am, and he’d lay patiently until Nesta gained consciousness around 9:30. 

Clearly, he’d been exhausted last night. It had been a long day of training, and then they’d gone out for dinner with his friends. After coming home, he and Nesta had watched a movie and then spent an hour tussling in their sheets. He’d fallen asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. 

Cassian pulled on a pair of dark jeans and strolled out of the bedroom without bothering to find a shirt. 

He found Nesta at the stove, flipping a pancake. She looked ethereal with her long hair down and shimmering in the light that flowed through the window. 

“Morning, Nes,” he said after taking a moment to appreciate the view. 

Nesta’s long legs were bare. She was dressed only in his striped button-up shirt which ended right below her butt. As she turned towards him, he could see that she hadn’t bothered to do up all the buttons on his shirt. The V dipped deep enough that, had she been wearing a bra, lacy bits would have peeked out, but she’d clearly thrown the shirt on without it. Was she wearing any underwear?

She sent him a small smile in greeting. 

“Can’t believe you didn’t bother to wake me up,” he teased as he pulled one of the hair ties off his wrist and put his probably messy hair into a neat bun. 

“Well, it seems like I tired you out last night and you clearly needed your beauty sleep,” she shot back. 

“Are you trying to imply that I didn’t tire you out?” 

She shot him a smirk. “Well, I was up first, wasn’t I?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, even as he held back a smile. He loved this easy back-and-forth, joking banter. “I’ll have to remedy that tonight,” he declared. 

“Aww, did I bruise your little ego?” 

She moved the pancake to a plate, and poured more batter into the pan. 

“There’s nothing little about me,” he joked before walking up behind her and gently wrapping his arms around her. He was careful to steer clear of her arms, so that they wouldn’t accidentally touch the pan or the stove and get burned. 

He rested his head in the crook of her neck. “I missed you this morning,” he whispered. 

“Couldn’t survive a few minutes without me?” she answered. He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear her smile in the warmth of her tone. 

“You know I’d be lost without you,” he answered. His tone was light and humorous, but his words were no less sincere.

She let out a small, fond chuckle. “Good thing I was only making breakfast then.”

He inhaled deeply. The smell of her vanilla and jasmine conditioner mixed with the sandalwood scent that lingered on his shirt. His neck was at a slightly awkward angle, bent down to accommodate Nesta’s forward-leaning posture as she cooked, but Cassian knew he’d be happy standing like this forever. 

He stayed there for a few minutes, until Nesta stilled in his arms. He knew she needed to move in order to put the pancake on a plate and couldn’t do so with Cassian wrapped around her, but she also didn’t want him to let go. 

He waited for a heartbeat, then gave her a slight squeeze before unwinding his arms. Before pulling away completely, he pressed a light kiss to the back of her neck.

Then, he walked over to the utensil drawer to start setting the table. 

When he sat down, his eyes flickered to Nesta’s figure, waiting for her to join him. He was itching to serve himself one of the pancakes in the middle of the table and bite into deliciousness. They smelled absolutely incredible. 

However, Nesta walked over with the pan still in her hand. She plopped the pancake from her pan straight onto his plate. Unlike the other pancakes, it wasn’t shaped like a circle.

“It was misshapen, so it reminded me of your face,” she quipped as she sat down after putting her pan in the sink. 

“Very funny.” He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop his smile. The pancake was shaped like a perfect heart. 

As they dug into their food, Cassian felt the domesticity seep into him. He knew how the rest of the day would likely go. They’d wash up together, and then Cassian would head out for a run with Lina while Nesta curled up on the couch with a book. He’d come home and shower, then make her a cup of tea. Later, they’d change the bedsheets, make a list of the groceries they needed to pick up, and chat, before watching a movie or ordering takeout. They’d end up having sex on the couch or in the shower — anywhere but on their freshly changed sheets — and then fall asleep curled around each other with Cassian’s arm slung over Nesta’s waist. 

Their lives had fallen into a routine. And Cassian loved it. This peaceful life they’d built together could never be boring — not when they always filled it with so much playfulness and their jobs were filled with drama by necessity. The regularity was a blessing, not a curse. When Cassian walked through the doors to this apartment, he felt the tension of the outside world fade away. He felt at home.

He loved the life they had created together, and couldn’t imagine anything better than having mornings like this one for the rest of his life. 

The thought should have shocked him, but it did not. He’d known for a long time that this was coming, but it was only now that it had fully sunk in.

He looked across the table at Nesta and caught her eye.

“What?” she asked with a grin.

He reached over and laced his pinky with hers. 

“Nothing.” He smiled. “I love you.”

She shook her head fondly at his cheesiness, but still replied, “I love you.” 

He wanted to declare his love for her in front of the whole world, and then spend the rest of his life with her. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend his life than dedicating it to loving her. 

That day, he started researching rings. 

__________

Present day

“I love you,” said Cassian. His eyes shone brightly. “I love all the moments we’ve spent together and the memories we’ve made.”

He walked around the table where the pictures lay and grasped her hands. 

“I do too.” Nesta, although still confused by their impromptu outpour of emotion, was always eager to remind Cassian of just how much she adored him. “I love you so much.”

Cassian smiled. She could see that a million thoughts were swirling in his mind, but he took a breath to focus himself.

“I love you,” he said once more, as though he couldn’t help himself, just like he had after he’d first said the words. He’d been like a child who’d never been allowed sweets who had just been given a box of chocolates — he marveled at the fact that he had love in his grasp and he gorged himself on it, basking in the delight that he could say the words whenever he wished. 

“Every minute, every second I get to spend with you is precious to me,” he continued. “Whether we’re at a party, a restaurant, a vacation, a match, or doing chores at home, every moment with you turns to gold. You made my life so beautiful and meaningful and happy, Nesta, in a way I never even imagined was possible. Even in the harshest moments, I know I’ll be okay because I get to come home to you every night. You’ve helped me learn how to live, not just survive. Because of you, I can love openly. Because of you, I can be myself without worrying that I’m too much. Because of you, I can let myself feel joy, instead of constantly worrying that it’s going to be ripped away from me. I can only hope that I can make you half as happy as you make me.”

“You make me happier than I ever thought possible,” Nesta answered. She was certain there were tears in her eyes, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind. There were so many things that she could say — how the world had appeared cold and cruel, just like her reflection in the mirror, until she’d seen it all through his eyes. She would never stop being inspired by him — how was it possible for him to be so kind when the world had been so awful to him? How was it that he got wholeheartedly excited when it snowed, despite knowing the stinging pain of a cold night on the streets? His joy was infectious, and now she couldn’t help but admire the beauty in every little thing — children skipping down the sidewalk, the leaves changing color, and the birds chirping in the morning. 

Yet, she couldn’t find the words. How could she express the magnitude of her emotions for him, and just how much he’d changed her life? All she could do was look at him. 

He squeezed her hands gently and she knew he understood.

“You’ve made me a better man.” His voice was slightly raspy as emotion clogged his throat. “My life is so much fuller with you in it. We’ve made so many beautiful memories,” he said, gesturing to the pictures with one hand, “and I want to dedicate the rest of my life to making more. It would be the greatest honor to spend my life by your side. I want to fill that table with a million — a billion — more memories.”

“So, Nesta Archeron,” He released her hands. She blinked in surprise and found him kneeling before her, a small box open in his hands with something sparkling inside. “Will you marry me?”

Her gaze had gotten blurred with tears, but she blinked them away now. 

Cassian cut a stunning figure as he looked up at her, rose petals and candles glowing around him. His outfit flattered his body — the wine-red shirt showed off his muscular arms without being too tight and contrasted his skin tone well, bringing attention to his soft blush and curved lips to highlight his joy. His long hair was as glorious as usual, half of it pulled into a bun. 

Still, it was the look in his eyes that caught her attention. His beautiful hazel eyes, framed by his long, dark lashes, sparkled not only with love and joy, but also with breathtaking certainty. Unlike during that bookstore date so long ago, Cassian was secure in their love. She could see in his eyes that, even if she said no, he would not doubt their relationship for a moment. 

But of course, there was only one answer she would give to this wondrous man. He had come into her life like a fire, warming her and brightening her life in innumerable ways. 

“Yes.”

__________

Please tell me if you would like to be added or removed from a tag list! I haven't posted in a while so I'm sorry if the taglist isn't up to date.

Permanent taglist: @maastrash // @cass-nes // @notmewrongbitch // @verypaleninja // @courtofjurdan // @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter // @stardelia // @laylaameersworld // @thewayshedreamed // @thatsowlmazing // @meanceclosetohell // @jungtaekwoonie-is-life // @rowaelinismyotp // @bakingandbooks3 // @grandma-noob-lord // @awesomelena555 // @ bookstantrash // @ireallyshouldsleeprn // @illyrianshadowhunter // @swankii-art-teacher // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @moodymelanist // @letstakethedawn // @nestaspegasus // @superspiritfestival // @perseusannabeth // @my-fan-side // @that-golden-lyre // @emily-gsh // @champanheandluxxury // @ simpingfornestaarcheron // @duskandstarlight // @ladynestaarcheron // @sv0430 // @nesquik-arccheron // @friendswithkevin // @dontgetsalmonella // @inkedstarlight // @arinbelle // @thegreyj Nessian taglist: @makainight // @nahthanks // @cupcakey00 // @nessiantrashh // @audreycressworth // @lady-winter-sunrise // @wannawriteyouabook // @shamelessdonutkryptonite // @julemmaes

[fwuffypwincess]

⊹ ₊˚꒰ Types of babies: mythical creatures edition! ᜊ꒰ᐢ⑅ ˵ ᆺ ˵ ᐢ꒱

୨୧ ₊˚. ݁ ᨳ Unicorn baby 💌🧸: has a collection of stuffies!, very caring and loving, loves help people and animals!, planting flowers and talk with them, pastels and pink colors, pacis and bottles, shares their toys and snacks, make lots of baby noises, want lots of cuddles and kisses from their special person, loves uppies!, the purest sweet baby, cute giggles, sleeps cuddling with a stuffie.

୨୧ ₊˚. ݁ ᨳ Dragon baby 🎈🐉: big bright smiles!, very protector of their stuffies and toys and people they care about, plays in puddles, bright primary colors, likes to play videogames!, car toys and dino-friendly, lots of happy wiggles!, “im scawy! Hehe. Nu-uh im baby!”, likes to eat goldfish and mac and cheese in animal plates, prefers sippy cups than bottles.

୨୧ ₊˚. ݁ ᨳ Fairy baby 🌸🐾: loves playing outside!, collects flower petals, makes houses for bids, plays animal crossing, likes baking sweets, embroidering flowers on clothes, draws a lot of flowers all over the paper, finger painting!, snuggling in a knitted comfy blankie, cares about small insects and animals, drinking tea in a sippy cup!, green colors, tea party with stuffies!.

୨୧ ₊˚. ݁ ᨳ Mermaid baby 🏝🐬: loves playing with water!, pool party with toys and dolls, bath time is fun! Lots of bath toys and bubbles, plays in a sandbox, bubble baths!, loves mermaid costumes, wants to talk with marine animals, has toys everywhere, wants to go to the beach at least every week!, marine stuffed animals and mermaid dolls, castle sand!

୨୧ ₊˚. ݁ ᨳ Vampire baby 🍷🧛🏻: loves spooky toys and costumes!, black color, drink grape juice in a sippy cup pretending to be wine, likes to watch to vampire movies for kids, Monster High dolls!, “im super duper scawy!”, mischievous baby, is very playful and likes playing games, glowing night lights, vampire costumes with thighs high socks, uses paci to stim, doesn’t like naptime!

୨୧ ₊˚. ݁ ᨳ Ghost baby ☁️🧁: shy, mostly nonverbal baby, big sweatshirts, loves bedtime stories!, plays quietly with their stuffies, naptime is their favorite part of the day, drinks warm milk in a bottle, fluffy tiny socks, tugging in their special person’s shirt when needing something, loves playing hide and seek, hums nursery rhymes quietly, “huggie please?” for their special person.

Wrote by @fwuffypwincess on Tumblr ꒰ ´ ˘ ` ꒱o. Which mystical baby are you, lovely plushies?

[wisteriadaydreams]

Hello! I'm new to tumblr and hopefully me trying to contact you and my request is appropriate. I found your blog amazing and even relatable in a lot of ways and i'm honestly very grateful I've found you! (Side note, this request is dedicated towards Tanjiro!)

I had an idea evolving around gaining consciousness in a dream and a form of bond between the two. I'm a lucid dreamer and a fan of concept where dreaming space is perfect for unique and pure interactions, a lot of mutual reassurance and a need to put in effort to go lucid, for the two to recognize eachother. I'm leaving particular ways of interactions to the creator, all i wanted to mention is the aspect of rapidly passing time and the two dreamers being aware of the coming unpredictable waking point. I believe it makes the scenario tense and sensual in a way, since nothing you experience in a dream should be taken for granted! Maybe it's worth working on a concept where the dreaming space is the only one that brings them together.

What i've brought up is probably very generous but I wanted to take a little step and maybe find a possible ally. Where my dream buddies at? 🪴

ONLY AWAKE WHEN I'M DREAMING

pairing: Kamado Tanjirō x gn!reader

genre: fluff, a dash of angst

words: 3.9k

a/n: anon, ur mind is sth i'm envious of, this is such a big brain idea

You know this place, but you have never been here before.

It's like you've stepped into a childhood memory that you have no recollection of, the sides of the fragmented pieces so blunt that you have no idea how to put them all back together. You look around and everything is hazy, like you're in one of those paintings where the background are but languid and dreamy strokes.

You think you feel the sun on your skin, the grass beneath your feet, and the air tastes heady and sweet like a summer night. You blink and the world remains streaks of color smeared on canvas, but a splash of emerald green and red catches your eyes.

You move (or you think you moved) and the last thing you expected to find is a boy.

His wine-dark gaze falls to you and everything at once becomes foreign.

"-ho...ar...ou?" You open your mouth and your voice sounds like a melody played on a broken record.

He doesn't reply to you, or at least, when you focus, it seems that he's trying to. When you squint your eyes you think you see his lips move, but everything is disjointed.

"...do...T...ji...ō."

You feel like you're in one of those social events where you're introduced to a friend of a friend of a friend and you know their name will slip out of your mind, but this is on another level entirely. Though there's definitely some guilt there, you figured that it would be rude not to introduce yourself back.

"I'm (Y/–"

You wake up, the last syllable dissolving like cotton candy in your mouth, and the threads of the dream slips through your fingers.

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

This place is familiar to you, but you're certain you've never set foot here.

The wind tousles your hair and you think it carries with it a light scent of the flowers surrounding your feet. Nothing is concrete, save for the boy before you.

There's nothing like the relieving sense of recognition that washes over you, followed immediately by the gripping flash of panic that you didn't manage to catch his name. Would it be rude to ask again? Or can you nod and bluff your way through this?

"Hi," you offer tentatively.

"Hi," he responds with a polite smile. "Have we met before?"

"Yeah, briefly." You shuffle your feet. "Do you know where we are?"

"I'm not sure. It's familiar to me, but I don't know where this is."

So maybe you're not crazy after all. "I feel that way, too! This could be any place from my memories, but I can't pinpoint which one it is. Do you know what I mean?"

"I do." His eyes dart around the empty landscape before settling on you once more, and if your mind didn't deceive you, you think you see his eyebrows knitting together a little bit. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you've told me this before and this is very rude of me, but I don't remember your name." He then begins to apologize and bow to you profusely.

Your shoulders sag in relief. "No it's okay! To be honest, I didn't quite catch your name either."

"...Tan...ji...rō." You're able to hear him better this time, but whatever he said earlier still eluded your mind.

"(Y...N)," you say and hold out your hand. You lean your head to one side when he looks at it like he doesn't know what to do. Maybe he's just one of those people who doesn't like handshakes?

Now that you think about it, he's not dressed in a way that you're familiar with. No offense to his fashion style, but it's not every day that you see someone wear a long kimono-like jacket with black and dark green checker patterns.

You're starting to feel awkward when he finally grasps your hand uncertainly.

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too Tan—"

The last of those syllables burn on your tongue until not even ash is left as you rise with the morning sun.

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

"We have to stop meeting like this."

The boy smiles at you in greeting, and a fraction of a second later his name flows like spring water into your mind.

"I agree. No-not that there's anything wrong with meeting you like this. It's just...a little strange."

"I get it." You sit down on the grass beside him, the blades so velvety smooth that you feel like they're not even there. "It's still weird to me. Like I'm half here and half not."

"Like you're in a dream."

"Yeah." You pause, the notion itching in your brain. "Something like that. I'm still not even sure how I got here. This feels a little too far away from home."

"Which is where, exactly?"

You tell him, but seeing his blank stare makes the nagging feeling in your gut become more intense. You explain where it is, and the way he almost jumps out of his skin makes you flinch in turn. All of your muscles seem to tense up as you ask him the same question.

"I used to live on a remote mountain in the countryside, but now I travel all around Tokyo and beyond for my job."

You blink several times, as if this would make the words make more sense in your mind. "No wonder you're dressed like that. But, um, can I ask what year it is for you?"

"It's the 10th year of the Taisho era," he says like that's the most obvious thing in the world, but you have no idea what that means. "Uh, what about you?"

You answer him, and his reaction is all you needed to know that there's no way that your time period lines up with his.

You slap yourself in the face, ignoring the worried cries of your companion. You don't feel a single thing, not even a featherlight touch.

"Holy crap, we're in a dream, aren't we?"

The realization settles like a dew drop that slowly falls from a leaf, and the moment it hits the ground the mist around you is washed away by the hands of early dawn.

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

"You're pulling my leg," you exclaim.

Tanjirō's brows knit together. "I'm...doing what?"

"Sorry, figure of speech. But demons? Really?"

After mutually establishing that the landscape they find themselves in is in fact a dream, and realizing that the other person (maybe?) isn't simply a figment of their imagination, both you and Tanjirō have been able to settle down enough to understand the situation.

It appears that this type of dream doesn't occur every single night, but they have no way to determine that for sure when their memories of their encounters are scrubbed clean every single morning. But as soon as you laid eyes on each other, those snatched memories are returned to you like a worn blanket that you once thought you lost.

Every time you get to know him a little better, hearing snippets of his life with his sister and friends. You offer stories of your own about your daily life and trying desperately to explain the leaps and bounds technology has made to him.

Soon enough, you both found out that though this might be your dream, or his, you don't have total control. He would be in the middle of telling you the story of how he got his scar when he would be thrown out of the dream, or you would wake up while passionately ranting about your day, leaving you to show up the next night huffing because you realized you've lost all train of thoughts.

You and Tanjirō make it work, somehow. Even when you're from different cultures and hell, completely different time periods (even though you're still not sure he's some illusion your mind came up with), you get along well with him. Despite of all the differences, Tanjirō is one of the most open-minded person you've ever known. He listens attentively and is genuinely interested in anything you have to say, and it makes you breathe easier knowing that he's the one with you in this weird dimension.

"I had the same reaction as you," he says to your previous sentence. "I couldn't believe at first, but then..."

He turns away from you, but you catch the flicker of pain nonetheless. Though Tanjirō has been all smiles, though he is so good at hiding it that it makes your heart twist, you still notice it a couple of times, especially when he talks about his sister and the life he used to have — rife with hard work and financial worries, but oh so blissful.

"They sound scary." You curse yourself for not being able to find better things to say.

"It was, it is still. But that's why I chose to do what I do, so that no one have to go through what I went through." He tugs at the fabric of his dark uniform. "You know, when I first met you, I felt a little afraid because I didn't have my sword with me. For the first time in a while, I was vulnerable. I kept reaching for something that wasn't there." He looks down at the empty space by his side. "But now, I'm glad. I feel safe here, I don't have to watch for every movement or be wary about anything. I can breathe easier here." He turns to you, and you idly wonder how the sun can hope to compare with such a smile. "And I'm glad I'm able to do it with you."

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

"If this is a dream, what do you think we can control in it?" You ponder, the grass disappearing through your fingers every time you wave your hands over them.

"I've never thought about it." Tanjirō is lying on his back, staring at the formless clouds. "You mean like changing our location?"

"Maybe. This place is cool and all, but it gets boring after a while. I think I heard somewhere that there's people who can control what they dream about. I'm pretty sure it's called lucid dreaming. I wonder how they do it though. Like do they just think very hard about it?"

"Well, wanna give it a try?" He sits up. "How about we take turns thinking about a particular place and see what happens?"

"Okay." You can't help but grin at how easily he is to get on board. "I'll try to go first."

You close your eyes, a funny notion now that you think about it, and begin to pull at the strands of your memories, searching for something that calls to you. You find it, its soft weight as familiar as a hug. You smell something in the breeze, hear the muffled voices calling your name, and when you open your eyes you're delighted to see the place you're envisioning being painted right before you. The verdant landscape give way to something much more nostalgic and corporeal, a thought given life.

You feel time lost being flown back into your veins, emotions that were once distant and foregone rise to the surface like a stream of fizzy bubbles, bursting into pockets of sweet sugar inside your mouth. Everything that once was is so within of reach.

But all too soon, the illusion breaks. You find yourself knees on the ground, heaving an imaginary breath as if you just ran a marathon. You feel Tanjirō's hands laid gently on your back, rubbing it in a soothing motion.

"Are you okay?" He asks, concern clear in his voice as he takes a hold of your shoulder.

You nod slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't expect that to take so much out of me. But it felt so satisfying, like I just stepped back into the past. Did you see it, too?"

"I did. It was brief, but it was a beautiful place. I felt warm and giddy, like I was a child again. It was so familiar, even though I'm sure I've never been there before. Will you tell me about it?"

"Maybe after you try. I wanna see what you come up with."

Tanjirō's fairs a little better than you. For a moment, the sky begins to turn dark, twilight shades splash against the blue canvas. The nebulous sun is replaced by a dazzling moon, shining its silvery light onto the canopy of trees that are emerging from the grassy expanse.

You think you see something golden twinkling in the forest, filling you with a sensation so wistful that it almost brings tears to your eyes. But just like you, the image fizzles and dies out. Tanjirō has his palms on his knees, his chest going up and down as he takes in breath after breath.

"I get what you're saying now," he pants.

You pat his shoulder. "That was better than me. But I also get what you were saying. When I saw that, I felt something. We have a term to describe that kind of feeling. Déjà vu, it's called. It's for when you think you've seen or been somewhere you've never been before."

"Déjà vu," he repeats, his accent melting over the words like butter. "That's beautiful."

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

You didn't think it would be possible to be tired while sleeping, but that's exactly what you felt when you stepped into the dream.

The heavy weight of the day bears down on you, further intensified by the stress that has been accumulating since god knows when. You rub your shoulders, tilting your head in an effort to get rid of the crick that has been bothering you for the whole day.

You wave at Tanjirō half-heartedly, your demeanor telling him all he needs to know.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Not really. Just tired."

"Long day?"

"Mmhmm." You hum and sit down beside him, scooching closer until your head rest gently on his shoulder. "I just wanna close my eyes and lie down, which is funny because I'm technically already lying down."

He adjusts your position so that you would be more comfortable, his hand rubbing your head up and down, the rhythmic motion setting you at ease.

"Hey," he speaks up after a while. "You wanna see something?"

"What is it?"

"Close your eyes."

You do as he says, anticipating swirling in your stomach. Pinpricks travel up your arms, shooting sparks of warmth down your body like you just sipped a hot drink your parents made for you on a cold day.

"Open your eyes," Tanjirō whispers softly.

You slowly do so, your jaw slightly dropping your open as you take in the scenery before you. You're in a forest drenched in argent moonlight, the branches swaying with the song of stars. A golden stream of light weaves through your vision, and before you know it, you're being surrounded by hundreds of fireflies that forms and unravels like mini galaxies.

You reach your hand out, your eyes wide with wonder as a group of fireflies twist through your fingers, bathing you in their luminescence, spreading sunshine through your body.

"This is amazing, Tanjirō." You say. "How did you manage to do this?"

"I practiced before you came." His attention is solely on you, spellbound by the way your features are illuminated by the glowing bugs. "I figured this might cheer you up since it did for my siblings. Whenever summer comes, we would go to the forest and try to catch them. But we would always release them, because we never have the heart to keep them in a jar. Hanako said that a beautiful sight like this is better shared with other people rather than keep it for your own."

"Wise words for someone so young." You turn to him, resisting the urge to run your fingers through his gold-tinted burgundy hair. "Thank you, Tanjirō."

You go back to admiring the fireflies, quietly talking with him at some points and chuckling when a bug gently boops his nose. In the spaces of the silence, you got to thinking.

It's almost worrying how comfortable you are here, how free and alive you are when you know you're only dreaming. It's a siren song that pours saccharine honey into your ears and blinds you until all you see is a vast, stagnant peace. It would be so easy to succumb, to stay in this place forever. But you have a life to live.

Nevertheless, you would be lying if you say the temptation isn't there. Especially when you have Tanjirō with you. Sweet, caring, amazing Tanjirō, who can brighten up your day with nothing but his smile.

But when you turn around, he's no longer there.

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

There have been times when you arrive at the dream before him.

The first time it happened, you wander around the area with a slowly sinking feeling in your gut that burrows deeper the longer you wait. It led your mind to think about all of the implications that you've never thought about before. What if all of this was coming to an end? What if you have to face the reality that you'll never see him again? Could you dream any longer knowing that he isn't here by your side?

Then he appeared, like he always did, and you couldn't help but run into his arms.

So this time, when your consciousness falls into this hazy place and you don't see that familiar shade of red that stands out like a guiding light, you choose to simply sit down. You just hope that he comes soon, for the last time this happened, you were only able to call his name before you were ripped away.

The air shifts, and you know that he's here. The smile that was on your face died out like a candle when you see him slumped on the ground, shaking furiously. His hands roam frantically over his hips, as if searching for something, and he mutters something under his breath too rapidly for you to catch.

You run over to him, just as he has his hands on his throat, scratching madly and digging his fingers into the skin. Your eyes are wide with panic, never having seen him act this way before, and you crouch down and snatch his hands into yours in one motion to prevent him from hurting himself.

"Tanjirō!" You yell as he struggles in your hold. "Tanjirō! What's wrong?! Tanjirō, look at me!"

He's strong, but you're steadfast and refuse to let him go, not when he's in this state. You continuously call and speak to him until he raises his head, and the haunted look in his ember eyes makes your heart instantly drop into your stomach.

He looks trapped, terrified, eyes constantly flitting around as if what makes him this scared is right around the corner. He looks like he hasn't had a decent night of sleep in a while.

You stare at him, imploring him to recognize you and know that he's in a safe place with you. Finally, a glimmer of light dawns on him, and his shaking becomes less intense, though in no way does that mean that it stopped entirely.

He croaks your name, and the way he says it makes your heart breaks into pieces and your stomach to twist into a tight knot. He says it timidly, brokenly, like it's a fragile thing that he's so afraid of disappearing.

You nod again and again until he is convinced. Your panic heightens when tears well up in his eyes, and before you could react, Tanjiro had thrown himself into your arms.

Even when you're caught off guard, you don't hesitate at all to wrap your arms around him, a hand sinking into his hair. He holds you tight and firm, his fingers curling around the fabric of your clothes as he buries into the crook of your neck, his tears streaming down to your collarbone.

You don't know what to do. You don't know what to do when he's clearly in distress. You don't know what happened to make him this way.

You know what he has been through. He told you of his struggles, all his pain and cracked bone in his body and every time you do, you have an urge to swaddle him and protect him from a world so cruel. How could someone as young as him have gone through so much, how is it fair that his hands are already callused with scars and roughened from training at such an age? He deserves better, he deserves so much better than anything the world can ever offer.

But maybe right now, the only thing you can do is rock him back and forth in your arms, speaking to him in quiet and gentle tones, reminding him that whatever happens, this place is safe for him.

This place is safe for him.

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

"Tanjirō, have you ever thought why us?"

"Hm?" He answers you from his position where he's cuddling with you, his arms circling around your waist and his legs tangled with yours. Ever since what happened last time, he always has to have a point of contact with you, whether it's holding your hand or hugging you. "Why what?"

"Why us in this dream? Why two people from completely different places and time?"

You have no idea why you've been chosen, why this dreamscape continues to pull your unconsciousness into it. An even more upsetting question for you is what happens when it ends?

Perhaps it's a mercy that you don't remember anything when you wake up, because if you do, you just know that you'll be searching endlessly for Tanjiro. You think you already unconsciously do, constantly searching for that spark amongst the strangers in the crowds.

But if one day this all ends and you never see him again, would your life ever be the same? Knowing that in the back of your mind, in some fuzzy corner, there will always be that nagging feeling that you're missing something?

"I don't know," he replies, snuggling more into your warmth. "But whatever the reason, I'm glad it's you."

You nuzzle your nose into the top of his head, breathing the sun from him. "I'm glad it's you, too."

───── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ─────

The sun sinks lazily, but the last of the daylight still cling stubbornly to the azure sky. Tanjirō stands among a row of houses, staring down at the piece of cloth in his hands, wondering who could've dropped it.

The fabric soaks in the sunset, and as the sky turns orange, he hears rhythmic footsteps against the dirt path running towards him.

He turns his head towards the sound, his nose picking up a scent that he could almost name. From afar, he sees that it's a person, the breeze running its gentle fingers through their hair.

The wind suddenly picks up, causing him to inadvertently close his eyes for a second. When he opens them again, it's right at the moment the person is running past him. But when their eyes lock, the world seems to slow down. Everything falls away and clicks into place at the same time.

His wine-dark eyes become wider as recognition shocks him like lightning. Their name rises from the deepest part of his soul like the tides, coating his tongue like winter snow.

It spills from his mouth in foamy waves—

Tanjirō wakes up.

He doesn't know what he dreamt about. He never seems to remember his dreams.

©️ wisteriadaydreams

➺ All of the following works belong to me. Please don’t repost, copy, or steal my content off of Tumblr. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

Strawberry Wine (A Flower Husbands AU) Masterpost

Long before he was the sheriff of Tumble Town, Jimmy lived on the edge of the savanna and dreamed of seeing the world someday. The world comes to him one summer in the form of a colorful traveler.

tag - #farmboy au (desktop users can click here to sort the tag in chronological order)

One Restless Summer - read the final version on AO3 or read the original posts on Tumblr starting here

Hide Your Heart - read the final version on AO3 or read the original excerpts on Tumblr starting here (contains spoilers and inconsistencies)

We Have Taken Different Roads - bonus scenes! read all of them on AO3 or some of them on Tumblr:

Scott teaches Jimmy how to dance [x]

Scott falls ill and Jimmy comes to check on him [x]

[non-canon] Scott tells his story to Sausage [x]

Fwhip builds Jimmy a mechanical bull for the Tumble Town festival [x]

Spotify playlist for One Restless Summer Spotify playlist for Hide Your Heart

Fanart!

"Your Sister Was Right", animatic by crafting_jam

Chapter 18 - Scott and Jimmy talk about trying again, illustrated by theslyvoid9

Miscellaneous:

Scott shares how he first met Fwhip and Pix [x]

ask from thesnailkiwi - Song rec: Homeward Bound

ask from anon - Is the Empires/Hermitcraft crossover gonna be canon in Hide Your Heart too?

ask from probably-jam - Some lyrics with Jimmy vibes

ask from dizzyizzie10 - more taylor lyrics that remind me of hyh

ask from anon - Can we get the MBTI of the characters in strawberry wine?

[slippy-socks]

in honor of me filling out half of the “what do you think the ghouls smell like” form and then accidentally closing the tab before i finished i’m posting my thoughts here (on my most ghost-related blog lmao) bc i had so much fun with this :)

GHOUL SCENT HEADCANONS

AETHER: spicy, patchouli incense. like the inside of an occult shop. velvet and magic itself. a bit of his own sweat but not in an unpleasant way.

CIRRUS: similar to 11:11 by lake and skye. ozone, almost aquatic but not quite. clean and crisp and bracing.

CUMULUS: like cirrus but warmer, more amber/white musk-y. like freshly laundered sheets, a little sweet. like milk by dedcool with a bit more dried flowers

SODO: gasoline, like an oil slick in a parking lot a kid would take a picture of and post to tumblr in 2014. the smell of a put out fire rather than the fire itself. smoky with the faintest hint of wet pavement under it all

MOUNTAIN: ponderosa pine (bark smells like vanilla/cinnamon). sharp in the nose at first like the bite of high altitude air, but quickly turns deep and woodsy/mulchy/hazelnut-y

AURORA: the frosting on those store-bought sugar cookies, the best parts of outdoor childhood birthday parties, very nostalgic. sweet but not headache-inducing. or floral, mostly rose (le labo rose 31 vibes)

PHANTOM: plum and stone fruit in general. deep and rich and warm, like how the color purple looks

SUNSHINE: i don't know how but she smells like the way sparkling orange wine feels in your mouth. citrusy and bright, invigorating. maybe a little bit of sunscreen but not in a bad way. brings back memories of midday picnics and sunburnt shoulders

SWISS: leather and spices and smoke. like firecrackers at summer night festivals. like the tall handsome stranger in an old western movie

RAIN: well, rain. musky and a little heavier. just the tiniest bit of seawater, maybe a salty bite. a bit of that pleasant old book smell. his scent clings to other ghouls a little longer than most

IFRIT: cherries and vanilla. he smells like he's important. decadent, like he should be dripping in diamonds and gold

ALPHA: gunpowder, tobacco, rum, what those old spice/just for men products wish they could be. effortlessly masculine

ZEPHYR: woodsy and fresh, that cold and wet smell of fresh fallen snow. coffee beans. maybe a little lily if you squint?

MIST: evenings at the lake in the late winter. cool and green, minty, lavender, similar to you or someone like you by etat libre d’orange

[tsunael]

5 Character Associations - Tsuna

Tagged by: tumblr said I was tagged in this and I don't think I was?? SO IM DOING IT ANYWAY. And if you actually did and I'm blind? Thank you @icehearts !! Tagging: @wind-up-nhaama !!

EMOTIONS/FEELINGS

Vengeful

Compassion

Shame

Trust

Warm

COLORS

Red (justice, self-sacrifice, & blood)

White (purity, death & mourning)

Purple (nobility & strength)

Green (tea & the green wrath)

Pink (flowers & girlish sensibility)

SCENTS

Sandalwood (Incense, earthy)

Brightlily (her home, her perfume)

Walnut oil (polished wood, her hair & skin)

Alcohol (a healer & bad habits)

Fogweed (a vice)

OBJECTS

A ring on her hand; a promise.

A chain across her horns; an apology.

Job stones; pearl white & jet black.

Crystal of Azem; A dream of a woman called Ourania…

A kaiken; always on her. It drew her first blood.

BODY LANGUAGE

Coquettish. She once knew the power that a mere glimpse of her wrist could hold.

Her tail belies her emotions.

Poised, rigid. She lives with Doman discipline.

She moves with a dancer's grace.

Worshipping. Once she abstained, now she devours.

AESTHETICS

White flowers in a vase; dried.

Lacquered paulownia wood; polished.

Countless pearls in your cupped hands.

Ripe peaches in a bowl; a side of fresh cream.

The scent of the forest after a warm rain.

SONGS:

Rabbit Heart (This is a gift, it comes with a price.)

Shura no Hana (I threw away my womanhood long ago.)

Lost Childhood (Mother, I miss how you always kissed me goodnight. Father, I miss how you told me your gentle lies.)

Sweet Song (You were a half of me a long time ago.)

Cherry Wine (But I want it, it's a crime. That [s]he's not around most of the time.)

[dr0pp0pc4ndy]

「What the older brothers do for Valentines Day」

When they’re not trying to undo a curse, that is

Pairings: Gn!Mc x romantic/platonic!brothers

Content: Food

[A/N: I wanted to post this a lot earlier since it’s probably not even Valentines day for a lot of people rn but like tumblr crashed then deleted like 3 paragraphs and formated the post all wonky and the whole 9 yards. Also levi’s part deleted like 3 times so if it seems lazily written, that’s why. Despite that i hope you can enjoy :3]

Lucifer

If you are in a romantic relationship he would get you something traditional like a box of chocolates, a bouquet, and a bottle of wine wrapped in a ribbon of your favorite color, maybe a card with a special note written on it.

He would reserve a table at Ristorante Six for you both, finishing the evening by listening to one of his many records together. Oftentimes, his pride gets in the way of him letting you know how much you really mean to him but he’ll try his best to open up to you today. Cherish this, he cant even admit he loves his brothers, you’re special.

If you have a platonic relationship, you, him, and Lord Diavolo can spend the day together. He would still get you a gift don’t worry. Pretty much the same but a bouquet denoting friendship, yellow roses, mums, or sunflowers and maybe not chocolate but instead one of your favorite snacks, or cupcakes from Madame Screams.

This would probably be a time when he would tell you one of his stories about Simeon or Lord Diavolo. Even though he hasn’t known you as long as the others, he still cherishes you and holds you as near and dear as them. He won’t say this out loud but the avatar of pride doesn’t just spend his free-time with anyone, that in itself is a sign you are loved.

Mammon

If you’re in a romantic relationship, i hope you like being spoiled. He may get you a flower or two but his main gift would be a gift basket. You know those gift baskets people make for special occasions with all the candy, hygiene products, clothing and a teddy bear? That’s what you’re getting

If he has the money (which is rare), he’d take you out to Devil’s Diner. Whats more romantic than a diner? Maybe you can share a milkshake??👀

If you’re just friends and you’re down for a Harrison Porter marathon, thats how you two will spend your night. If you’re not in a movie type of mood, he’s more than willing to play blackjack or any other card game, at home or at his favorite casino

If you chose to go out, drinks are on him. Just don’t get too caught up in the free drinks you lose yourself, you need to be able to sneak back in the HoL, after the incident you two aren’t allowed to go to the casino on weekdays

Leviathan

If you’re in a romantic relationship, bless you, he has never had a romantic experience like this, he is a mess. He was overthinking for days on what to get you, but he eventually settled on the mini valentines day funko pops. Instead of getting you real flowers, he got light up flowers that you can keep forever because they will never die.

Makes a little minecraft world for you with a special rollercoaster than shows you fireworks and little structures he built for you. (if the sakura update was out already he could add those but alas). I promise this is more sweet than im describing it lol. (credit to @/Kashii.cos on tiktok for the minecraft screenshot)

Don’t think that valentines day makes him less of a shut in, he still is but he cleaned his room extra good for you and layed down a nice quilt so you don’t have to sit on the floor.

If you’re in a platonic relationship, you two are still gonna have an amazing time. Did someone say co-op video games?? On top of those, you’ll also play fun sleepover games like justdance and the tsl board game.

If you’re into nail art, MAYBE you can convince Levi to let you paint his nails, watch out for Asmo though you’re seriously stepping on his toes.

•

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

[possumbylight]

Rose Colored Goggles

A/N: y’all are so cool for liking and reblogging my last post i love you all. anyway here’s another thing that i have previously posted on my ao3 that i’d like to move over to tumblr as well, hope you enjoy!! ;)

Summary: In which the Knights of Favonius, the Anemo Archon, and the Darknight Hero perform an experiment on the Chief Alchemist, all while missing a crucial element that’s hidden in plain sight.

Warnings: None I don’t think? slight drunkenness but that is expected amongst these folks

Pairings: Albedo/Reader, the knights and others as assorted friends because once again i love writing fics where all the characters get to hang out together

The Angel’s Share on a Tuesday night was not the ideal place for those wishing to maintain any pride they harbored for the famed Knights of Favonius. Should any inquiring minds visit the tavern on that particular night, they might find, to their horror, that the Knights were not windswept heroes of legend, but common drunks who bantered and argued with the bartender until he threw them out by their coattails and reminded them not to puke on the cobblestone outside his fine establishment, so they might not scare other patrons away.

Tuesday night was the least likely night for heavy drinking amongst the Mondstadt population, should there be any night that Mondstadt did not prefer drinking, but it was the most likely time for the Dawn Winery’s master himself to make an appearance behind the bar, and thus an ideal opportunity for certain members of the Knights’ ranks to pay a friendly visit—or rather, bother—Master Diluc until he gripped a wine bottle so tight it threatened to crack.

It was his fault, though, for returning every other Tuesday to be subjected to such nonsense.

“I asked him to describe his ideal woman, of course,” Lisa supplied as the end to her story, sending the knights around her into laughter and groans at the very idea. “Timaeus was so red he could hardly breathe. He looked like a tomato.”

“Oh, poor Timaeus,” Jean lamented, though the other knights hardly shared her sentiments. “You know how flustered he gets, Lisa.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen the Chief Alchemist get flustered,” Kaeya lamented, planting his face in his palm as he leaned heavily on the bar. “Tell me, Albedo, with all the romantic attention you receive, surely someone has managed to make you blush.”

Albedo, barely aware of the conversation at hand but all the same adamant to willfully ignore Kaeya’s salacious suggestion that he was the recipient of any amount of romantic attention, merely furrowed his brow and stared past his cup at something the other knights could not perceive.

“Speaking of romantic attention,” Venti swooned after loudly gulping down the remaining contents of his glass, “a little birdie told me that Donna—”

“Quiet, bard,” Diluc ordered with seething vitriol, but the bard had little regard for Diluc’s discomfort.

“—brought a whole bouquet of flowers to your door the other day. Are you going to send her a thank you? I could write a poem for you to gift her, in exchange for a little off the top of my tab, of course—”

“No, I won’t require your services. And while we’re on the topic of your tab—"

“I don’t believe I am capable of such a thing,” Albedo finally responded, interrupting whatever Diluc had been planning to threaten, much to Venti’s delight but to the confusion of the other knights.

Venti hardly missed a beat, replying, “I’m sure you could write a poem if you tried, Mister Albedo, no one is incapable of making art.”

“No, I am referring to the prior conversation. I don’t believe I am capable of blushing.”

Kaeya’s mouth dropped open as though the alchemist had just shared with him the secrets of life and the universe, but Rosaria maintained a flat aspect, sipping politely at her drink until the commotion from Albedo’s comment settled.

“He’s probably right. I’ve never seen him go red, even in the cold of Dragonspine. If that doesn’t make him flushed, I doubt any foolhardy romantic advances would be able to do it.”

“Though it is true that I bleed when injured, I have yet to study the patterns of my internal blood dispersion beyond its basic course through my heart.”

“Albedo, everyone bleeds when injured. Stop talking like you’re mechanical.”

“Yes, of course,” Albedo agreed with little hesitation before excusing himself from the bar, returning his glass of tap water to the bartender as he wandered off, muttering under his breath about veins and ventricles and all form of scientific babble that the other knights were simply too drunk to process.

“Well, I for one would like to make a bet,” Kaeya announced as soon as the door had clicked shut. “A competition, of sorts. Any takers?”

“I’m in.”

“Venti,” Lisa cooed from beside the bard, startling him as though he hadn’t known she had been there the whole time. “You haven’t even heard the stakes.”

“Yeah, but Kaeya’s fun. And if I can earn a little extra drinking money, then why not?”

“You won’t be drinking until you can pay off your tab,” Diluc reminded. “And knowing Kaeya, it’s a bet in which he’ll have an unfair advantage. He only makes bets he knows he can win.”

“Now, now, Diluc. That’s rather unkind, don’t you think? I don’t have any advantage here, aside from my charm.”

Rosaria scoffed, “Get on with it. What’s the bet?”

“First to find out what makes the alchemist blush gets free drinks every Tuesday night for a month, courtesy of the losers of the bet.”

“I thought we established that he can’t blush.”

“We haven’t established anything. Albedo himself said that he was unsure. So, who’s to say that he doesn’t get flustered at all?”

The group was pensive for a moment, weighing the prospect of putting Albedo in potentially uncomfortable situations when they respectively found him either highly respectable, strange and off-putting, or possibly dangerous given cause. But, one by one, they all silently agreed that the reward was worth the risk, and hummed their approval of Kaeya’s idea.

“I’m in,” Diluc finally spoke aloud, startling the whole bunch.

“Why, Master Diluc, that surprises me. Could it be that you have an unfair advantage here? And tell me this—should you win, however doubtful that outcome may be, do you intend to take advantage of our good nature to buy you free drinks that you won’t even consume?”

“If I win, you’re all giving me a month of peace and quiet. Every Tuesday night, you’re staying home or finding someone else to bother. Go to the Cat’s Tail, I don’t care, just don’t come here.”

“Interesting. I accept the terms of your agreement. Shall we drink to it, then?”

And thus, Albedo was in for the most confusing week of his already strange life.

Jean had hardly been paying attention to the conversation at the bar, and she certainly didn’t have time to be playing into Kaeya’s meddling games, but when the opportunity presented itself, she could hardly pass up the opportunity to save some mora at the Angel’s Share. Albedo was hardly ever at HQ in person, after all.

“Good morning, Albedo,” she greeted, knowing full well that her tone was abnormal as she fought to find a natural way of introducing her theory, but also knowing that Albedo, intelligent beyond reason as he was, was not particularly well-versed in conversation.

“Ah. Good morning, Acting Grand Master. What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering if you could help me find Sucrose. Have you seen her this morning?”

“Sucrose,” Albedo mused aloud as he pressed a hand to his chin in thought. “I have not seen Sucrose for a few days. It is likely she is in her room, studying bones or some other organic matter. If you need to speak with her immediately, I recommend knocking on her door, as it’s unlikely that she will reemerge until the end of the week, at least.”

“Oh. I see. Thank you, Albedo.”

“You’re welcome.”

With that, Albedo continued on his way down the library stairs until he was almost hidden from sight, pulling dusty tomes from ancient corners that hardly anyone but Lisa’s apprentice ever touched. Jean watched as he greeted Lisa's assistant, asking her a question Jean could not discern, and pointing towards a book on the upper shelf.

“Was that your attempt at winning the bet?” Lisa sighed as she emerged from behind her desk. “Oh, dear. You really don’t know much about him at all, do you?”

“Does anyone?”

“That is the question, isn’t it? But I’m far more interested in the little exchange that just occurred. Were you under the impression that Albedo is overly fond of Sucrose?”

“I just wondered. They work so closely together sometimes that I thought perhaps there might be some feelings there.”

“Hmm, no, I don’t believe so. He can be protective of her, the shy little thing, but it’s hardly romantic.”

“Well, what’s your grand plan, then?” Jean asked, defensive of her own tactics even as she realized that she had marvelously failed in plain sight of Lisa. “How do you plan to win the bet?”

“You think I haven’t made anyone blush before?”

“Lisa, please don’t make him uncomfortable. If he resigns, there won’t be anyone qualified to replace him.”

Albedo had thought nothing of the exchange with Jean—it was perfectly reasonable for the Acting Grand Master to inquire about the location of one of her knights—so he had gone about his business in the library and headed straight for the section under the stairs, where he frequently found the most appealing books on the origins of natural species, as well as the librarian’s assistant.

“Good morning, y/n. How are you?” he asked politely, trying not to startle her as she reached up to secure a hefty encyclopedia into its designated spot.

“Good morning, Albedo,” she sighed. As soon as she had settled properly back onto her feet, her hand swept a cloud of dust onto the top of her head which briefly made her cough. “I’m alright, but I think I’ll have to put off my alphabetization of the fiction section until I can finish dusting these shelves.”

“I see. It seems I am alone in my interest of these topics, then?”

“Just about. Sometimes, Cyrus will come in to study for a specific commission, but you’re the only one in the past fifty years who has checked out—” here, she paused, squinting at the title he had returned only a few days prior, “—The Anemo Archon’s Aviary: A Comprehensive Study on Local Wind Patterns, Development of Localized Bird Species, and How Anemo Affects Avian Wildlife.”

“A fascinating read,” he chuckled. “I would recommend it, if you have the time.”

“I’ll put it on my list, but I promised Fischl that I would finish reading that fantasy series she’s been telling me about.”

Just as Albedo was about to agree, perhaps adding some remark about what the prinzessin’s dramatic reaction might be should y/n not heed her decree, the click of Lisa’s heels turned the conversation towards the librarian herself, stepping grandly down the stairs with one hand tracing the banister and the other holding a purple rose.

“Funny seeing you here, Albedo,” Lisa intoned as she swept into the conversation with ease. “Have you come to pester my little assistant again? I’m distraught that you didn’t come to greet me first. How is a lady supposed to feel when a handsome gentleman caller pays her no mind?”

“I apologize, Miss Lisa. In all honesty, I did not realize that you were here.”

“Hmm, you’ve always got your mind on something fascinating, don’t you? I would love to hear all about it, dear, but I do have a question for you, if you don’t care to hear me out.”

“Of course.”

As Albedo turned his attention fully to Lisa in preparation of her inquiries, y/n excused herself with an awkward, pardon me, and returned to replacing all the books on her cart.

Lisa turned over the rose in her hands, allowing Albedo to take it in from all angles as she eased him into light conversation about basic alchemical principles and natural floral phenomena. It wasn’t the conversation that she intended to use to leverage some reaction from him, but her own actions, motivations, and physicality that she hoped might dust his cheeks even the slightest bit red.

“I understand your concern,” Albedo mused, hardly noticing one bit when Lisa began drifting ever closer towards him. “The forests of Sumeru experience dense rain and fog during all seasons, providing the soil with an intense moisture that simply cannot be recreated by any natural climate of Mondstadt. However, many roses of this quality do grow in the temperate hills. If you were to start a garden just outside the Mondstadt gates, I predict that your roses would grow quite well.”

“Interesting.” Lisa swept her hand across the uncovered skin between Albedo’s coat and gloves, skillfully masking the gesture as an accident. “Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie, I didn’t mean to—oh, your skin in marvelously soft, Mister Albedo. How do you manage that in the cold of Dragonspine?”

“Hmm, I am unsure.”

Albedo jotted down a few simple notes for Lisa to take with her— instructions on the best conditions for growing Sumeru roses outside of Sumeru—and pressed onto the next inquiry she had asked of him. She continued running her fingers across the band of skin on his upper arm. When he did not flinch or fluster, she pressed closer.

“Miss Lisa, is there something else I can do for you?”

“Does it make you uncomfortable that I watch while you work?”

“No, not at all. You are free to stay, if you wish. But I may require some measure of concentration.”

“Concentration?” she gasped, eyebrows raised. “You certainly seem like a man with indomitable focus. I wonder, though, what kind of enticing situation might distract a man like you?”

As if to answer her question, he did not respond, fully immersed in his work and entirely shut off to the outside world. Lisa’s ruse went on for at least the next half hour. She would ask a question, often a flirtation disguised as innocent inquiry, and Albedo would respond with genuine interest in her query and not an ounce of heed for her more lascivious intentions.

“How did it go?” Jean asked, more excitable about the whole ordeal than she had meant to be.

“Miserable. The man is made of rock, or steel, or brick. He’s dead to the world.”

“Surely that’s an exaggeration.”

“I tried everything. He had no response for me.”

“Perhaps you’ve lost your charm, Miss Lisa.”

“Don’t push your luck, Acting Grand Master.”

Rosaria wanted to drink, free of charge, and that was the only reason she was doing anything so stupid as trekking through the cold of Dragonspine, up towards Albedo’s lab, Sister Barbara in tow.

“Why would Mister Albedo require my assistance?” Barbara’s teeth chattered as she spoke, and she pulled her arms in close to her chest to bar off the cold. “He has never requested healing before.”

“I don’t know. He just told me to bring you up the mountain with me.”

Rosaria was lying. She was outside of church grounds, so it didn’t really matter how honest she was when Bartobas wasn’t watching. It did, however, give her an uncomfortable chill to know that it was Barbara she was lying to, of all people, the most honest and innocent person ever to stroll under the sunshine of Teyvat. If any of her fan club members were to find out that Rosaria had dragged their precious idol onto a frozen mountain, they would have her head on her own pole.

“Albedo, I brought Barbara,” Rosaria called into the cavern, hoping that if she could be loud and confident enough, both Barbara and Albedo would believe that neither of them were being led astray.

In all reality, Rosaria really hadn’t planned very far ahead. She only knew that when Barbara danced her cute little dance and winked her cute little eye and tilted her cute little head to the side, whomever was on the receiving end of such gestures always went pink in the face.

“Good afternoon, Sister Rosaria, Sister Barbara,” Albedo greeted with a slight pitch of his brow. “If you required my assistance, I could have easily made the journey down to Mondstadt proper. I hope you have not suffered from the cold. Before you return home, please allow me to provide you with a heating potion.”

“No need, Albedo. We won’t be here long.”

“Mister Albedo, Sister Rosaria told me that you need healing,” Barbara announced before Rosaria could fully take control of the situation. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I appear to be alright. Ah—I suppose you are referring to my arm?” The alchemist lifted his arm to reveal a loosely-tied bandage around his forearm that was beginning to show a patch of crimson bleeding through the white material. “I must have forgotten. I… don’t even remember how this came to be. How did you know?”

“I heard about it.”

“You heard about it? I see. You must have run into y/n. I informed her that I could tend to the wound myself, but it would not surprise me to hear that she would turn to Sister Barbara for help. She was quite worried about the whole ordeal.”

Rosaria quietly gave thanks to Lord Bortibos for his good graces. She didn’t even know who y/n was, but Barbara seemed to recognize the name, nodding as she cheerily made her way over to Albedo to take a look at his arm.

Barbara did her cute little dance, and she sang her cute little song, and she winked her cute little eye, but Albedo’s face remained still as a statue and pale as the snow outside the cavern throughout the entire experience. Rosaria at least felt comforted, somewhat, that if Barbara couldn’t get him to blush, surely no one else would discern any other way to do it. She had exhausted every possible avenue, in her mind, and now, it was time to return to more important business.

Amber and Eula tag-teamed the challenge, but their plot failed as soon as it had started. Amber had laid out their game plan as a subtle, masterful appeal to Albedo’s emotion, but Eula Lawrence was not subtle.

“Albedo. Have you ever cried?”

“I—hmm. Perhaps as a child, Captain Eula. Is there any particular reason you ask?”

“Amber wanted to know.”

“No, I didn’t!” Amber shouted to clear her name. She had wanted to know the answer to that strange and invasive question, but she hadn’t wanted Eula to bring it up so brazenly. “What Eula means is that—”

“What was it that made you cry as a child? Your parents? A childhood bully? If you need vengeance to be extracted—”

“Eula means that we were interested in your upbringing. We didn’t mean to pry, Mister Albedo,” Amber physically stepped in between the two before Eula could threaten any figures from Albedo’s past. “We just don’t know much about you.”

“Ah, I see. There is not much to know.”

“Understandable. Have a nice day, Mister Albedo!”

Amber tugged Eula away by the hand, rattling off all sorts of explanations as to why Eula’s questions had been inappropriate, but Eula saw no real merit to such accusations. If Amber had a question to ask, she should ask, not beat around the bush.

Venti knew that he had the upper hand, because who could possibly resist a love ballad played by the dutiful and skilled hands of the Anemo Archon himself? If Lord Barbatos could not woo the alchemist with his dulcet tones and witty lyricism, then surely nothing else could be done.

“Excuse me, dear y/n, but have you seen Albedo today? I heard that he’s in town, and I’d like to pay him a visit.”

Y/n finished placing the return date card in the back of a freshly returned novel, complete with slight electro elemental traces from Lisa’s famous late fee policy, and eyed Venti up and down, taking in the way the bard’s fingers plucked the air just above the strings of his lyre as if practicing.

“Have you written him a song?” y/n asked, buying time. She had seen Albedo, not five minutes prior, and he had paused his deep and entrancing train of thought to greet her, but she worried that any other distraction would simply bounce off of him like Jean repelling a pyro slime. Even Venti’s greatest masterpiece would go unheard with Albedo in that state.

“I have written a song, and I have the feeling he’ll like it, but I need to try it out first. Have you seen him?”

“Venti, Albedo’s in kind of a mood today.” She winced at the way his countenance dropped entirely at the idea. “I don’t mean that he’s upset or anything. He’s just got his mind on something important, so it might not be the best day for a performance. I’m sorry, Venti, I’m sure he’d love to hear it on any other day.”

“Oh. Well, that’s alright, y/n, thank you for—”

“Y/n, I’ve come across something interesting, and I wonder if you might take a look at it,” Albedo announced as he took great strides down the hallway towards y/n. “The specimen you helped me collect from Starsnatch Cliff has successfully adapted to synthetic photosynthesis. The primary difference to the naked eye seems to be an odd discoloration of the inner petals, but I would appreciate a second opinion, as well as a second set of hands, so that I might extract—oh, hello, Venti. I did not see you there.”

“Well, well, if it isn’t the man of the hour!” Venti announced. He seemed to lift right off of the ground as he bounded towards Albedo with his lyre held aloft, giving a playful strum to the strings. “I was just looking for you, Mister Albedo! Would you be interested in hearing a song that I wrote?”

“Venti, I must apologize, but I am exceedingly busy with an experiment, and I fear—”

“Nonsense! You should always take some time to rest, have a break, enjoy some local entertainment. Come now, sit down. Y/n can listen too, if she’d like.”

Albedo scratched across his forehead with a weary hand before sighing, deciding that humoring the bard would be far easier than prolonging the conversation. His eyes traveled briefly to y/n, who stood awkwardly but graciously smiling between the two. She, at least, seemed interested to hear what Venti had to show for himself, so it couldn’t hurt to rest his feet for a moment, for y/n's sake.

When the song began, Albedo was not overly concerned with the melody or the lyrics or the performance at all, but the more he tuned his ears to really listen to it, the more bemused he became. A love song, of all things, in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of Knights HQ, in the middle of an experiment he was quite keen to finish. Why had Venti been so enthused about performing this for him right then and there?

The lyrics were well written, if not a bit esoteric to a man quite literally made from chalk, and he could appreciate the artistry of it. It didn’t hold his interest quite as much, however, as y/n, who, by the third or fourth chorus, had picked up the lively tune and began humming it under her breath as she swayed gently in her seat.

“So, how was it?” Venti exclaimed.

“It was pleasant.”

“Y/n, you seemed to enjoy it.”

“I did, thank you, Venti.”

“Well, I’m pleased to hear that you both enjoyed my latest masterpiece. You know, when I wrote it, I—”

Venti’s explanation was cut off when he realized that Albedo had risen to his feet, picking up right where he left off mid-ramble. As he watched the two disappear down the hallway, Venti couldn’t help but think that he had somehow ended up on the right path, just with the wrong motivation and at the wrong time.

If Venti had been close, Kaeya was near right on the mark, if not slightly to the left of a bullseye. He was a master of gathering information, an expert in the field of loosening inhibitions and coaxing secrets from anyone from gossiping servants to high-ranking Fatui officers.

The sweet little librarian’s assistant would be no challenge for him, or so he thought.

“Oh, come now, y/n,” he crooned, leaning conspiratorially across the counter to peer up at her. “Everyone has a weakness. Don’t tell me that Albedo is so composed all the time.”

“A weakness?” she pondered aloud, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation but more uncomfortable with the idea of confronting Kaeya about it. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“No? Don’t you have a weakness, y/n?”

“Do you mean physically, or…? I suppose I’m not very good at using a claymore. I can’t seem to get used to the weight distribution.”

“You’re lucky you’re adorable, y/n. I’m talking about an emotional weakness. What flusters our dear chief alchemist, hmm? What makes him blush?”

“Blush?”

“Yes, blush. Just like you’re doing right now.”

She lifted a hand to her cheek as if to physically try to wipe the red off of her face before Kaeya could make any more untoward comments about it, but he only pressed onward, willfully ignoring her own flustered behavior.

“Why do you ask?” she elected to sidestep his original question with one of her own.

“I’m merely curious. And you two are friends, correct?”

“Um… yes, we are. Captain Kaeya, if you would like to know more about Albedo, I doubt he would be upset if you asked him yourself. He’s not particularly shy, he’s just not… talkative, I suppose.”

“Right,” Kaeya muttered. He hadn’t anticipated that y/n would be straightforward, if not a little coy, about the matter, though he should have guessed. Anyone who was as close to the chief alchemist as she would have to have some similarities in personality. Kaeya couldn’t imagine Albedo befriending anyone garrulous or grandiloquent.

“Is there something else I can help you with?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact. I have a few more questions about Mister Albedo. Nothing too personal of course, just some basic information, if you happen to know the answers.”

“I can try, but again, I’m sure Albedo wouldn’t mind if you asked him yourself.”

“And what if I’m planning some sort of surprise?” Kaeya intoned. Y/n’s brow furrowed at the thought, but Kaeya swooped in to reassure her before she backed out. “Nothing too extreme, of course. A private gift, perhaps. He helped me with a problem I had recently, and I would like to thank him properly. Does he have a favorite color, perhaps?”

Reasonably, Kaeya could do nothing with that shallow information, but if he intended to ask anything beyond surface-level attributes, he was obviously going to have to ease y/n into it with softball questions that wouldn’t raise her hackles.

“He does like blue—that kind of deep blue that’s on his shirt. I wouldn’t say that he necessarily has a favorite, but he does tend to favor colors that aren’t garish.”

“I see, I see. A favorite flower?”

“Cecilias,” y/n answered easily, with a brief smile that Kaeya might have missed had he not been watching her closely. Even though she turned from him to stamp a return date, he could read her honest expression plain as day. “There’s a species of large flower that grows in Sumeru, primarily in open, grassy areas, that he always mentions he would like to see someday, but I wouldn’t say that it’s his favorite. He’s very fond of Cecilias.”

“Interesting. So you two are quite close, then?”

The blush returned to her face, and she cleared her throat before she spoke, “Yes, we’re… close. Albedo is—he’s a good friend of mine. Do you have any other questions?”

“Just a few more, if you would humor me.”

“Of course, Captain Kaeya.”

“Since you work in the library, I’m sure you know—what genre of book does Albedo prefer?”

“Non-fiction, usually.”

“Usually?”

“Almost always some scientific study for an experiment he’s working on. I’ve managed to talk him into reading a few adventure novels, though, and he seemed to enjoy them well enough.”

“Does he read romance novels?”

“No, that’s not something he’s ever expressed interest in.”

“He’s not a romantic?”

She blanched, an interesting reaction, but one he didn’t pay near enough mind to. Y/n appeared to be skirting some issue—she had been honest and gracious in playing along with Kaeya’s questioning, but she shifted her gaze uncomfortably from time to time as if desperate to find an out from certain topics.

She’s shy, he thought to himself as he watched her fingers busy themselves with the fraying edge of a hardback novel. And I am being awfully forward, especially to someone who spends more time around books than people.

“He’s—” she began, then stopped abruptly, trying to rephrase her thoughts, “he’s not typically interested in romance, I suppose. That’s not to say that he’s incapable of… or uninterested in… um, do you have a different question?”

“You think he would be interested in romance, given the right circumstance?”

“Yes, I suppose. That makes sense.”

“Yes. Yes, I suppose it does. Well, thank you for your time, Miss y/n. I apologize for taking up your afternoon with my silly questions.”

“Oh, that’s alright, Captain Kaeya. If you need more help finding a nice gift for Albedo, I’d be happy to help.”

“Thank you, y/n.”

“You thought that he was romantically interested in Sucrose?” Eula scoffed before downing another full glass of something so strong that Jean could smell it several seats down.

“Don’t tell me that your approach was any better, Captain Eula.”

The knights and friends, defeated after a week of attempts at catching the chief alchemist off guard in hopes to catch him blushing, had nearly decided that the man was incapable of going red at all.

“Maybe we should tell him that he can’t blush,” Amber suggested. “He said himself that he wasn’t sure if he was capable of it. I bet he would like to know the answer.”

“But then we would be giving away the game,” Kaeya retorted. “And we need a full mission report before deciding that he’s a lost cause. Lisa, how did you fare?”

“No better than Jean, unfortunately. I gave him just about everything I could without being indecent. He hardly noticed I was there.”

“Rosaria?”

“I called in Barbara. Nothing.”

“Amber?”

“Well, I was going to try something simple, but Eula was a bit too forward about it. We got no results at all from it.”

“Venti?”

“I played him my song.”

“And?”

“He liked it, of course. But he didn’t blush.”

“Well, then, that leaves me, I suppose,” Kaeya sighed. He had saved himself for last, despite having nothing to show for himself. His conversation with y/n had been only slightly illuminating, but nothing he had attempted during his subsequent conversation with Albedo had produced results, and he was ashamed to tell the group as much. “I suppose none of us are getting free drinks, then. A shame, really. I was interested to see the results almost as much as I wanted free liquor.”

“You’re forgetting someone,” Diluc suddenly announced as he stepped lively into the room, taking his place behind the bar with a chipper attitude that was unbecoming of him. The entire group was baffled at his words, and at the smile that graced his usually stern features.

“Oh, Master Diluc, don’t tell me that you’re the one who has actually been successful? Turning someone’s face red with pyro will get you disqualified, you know,” Kaeya intoned, hoping to slightly infuriate the man but only lifting his countenance even more.

“I have proof, and as soon as I show you, I will have an entire month of peace and quiet. If I see even one of you lurking around my tavern on a Tuesday night, I will personally ensure that you never see the inside of this establishment ever again.”

“We all agreed to it, Diluc,” Lisa bargained, leaning over the counter as if Diluc’s proof were hiding behind the bar, just out of sight. “Go ahead and show us, dear, don’t leave us hanging like this.”

“Charles?” Diluc asked.  

Charles nodded firmly, “They’re just outside.”

“Good.”

With this, Diluc wordlessly stepped towards the back door, pressing a gloved finger to his mouth to signal that the rest of the group should be quiet. He poised his hand over the doorknob for several agonizing seconds until suddenly and forcefully, he flung the door open, sending the couple on the other side flying apart.

“Barbatos preserve me,” Venti muttered drunkenly, the only one of the group who could speak at the moment.

The sight was startling, but after the initial shock had faded, it became increasingly obvious to all of them precisely how oblivious they all had been in their research. It should have been obvious. There was a common denominator to nearly every respective conversation they had conducted, and it was not a thing or a topic or an action, but a person.

Albedo was behind the door, his face flushed all the way to the tips of his ears as he and y/n sheepishly parted. What they had been doing before the door opened had gone unseen by the bar’s patrons, but they could wager a strong guess based on the way y/n was quick to cover her lips with her hand.

“Oh, my—” Kaeya began. “Well, this is interesting. Why didn’t you two tell us about your little arrangement? I’m sure we all would be quite happy for you.”

“You did not ask,” Albedo replied simply. By the time he stepped in properly through the door, his face had returned to its normal color, though y/n was still the color of an unripe sunsettia.

“And to think, we were all going about it the wrong way.”

“Going about what?”

“These idiots made a bet,” Diluc said, straightforward and stern as he moved towards the front door, preparing to physically toss the knights out by their collars. “And they’ve all lost, so now it’s time to leave. Y/n and Albedo, of course, are free to stay.”

“Oh. Thank you, Diluc,” y/n muttered, half lost in thought. “Wait, is that why everyone was acting like that this past week? You were all trying to get Albedo to… to do what? What were you trying to do?”

Albedo was quick to respond, having connected the dots rather easily, “I see. This is because of our conversation last week, yes? You were performing an experiment to see if I am capable of blushing. And, judging by your expressions, you seem to have gotten a satisfactory answer.”

“Yes,” Diluc interjected. “Goodbye.”

With this, the knights were summarily kicked out of the tavern for the next month, and Diluc was rewarded handsomely with his peace and quiet, for which he was happy to provide the happy couple with a set of drinks, on the house. He did feel a bit uncomfortable, after all, that he had exposed their relationship for the explicit purpose of clearing out his bar.

“Did they make you uncomfortable, y/n?” Albedo asked her quietly after Diluc had disappeared into the back to refresh his ingredients. “If I had known that they might confront you for an answer, I would have asked them to refrain.”

“I’m alright, Bedo. I just hope they didn’t make you uncomfortable, trying to make you blush like that.”

“No, I hardly noticed. I do commend their dedication to their experiment, however. I hope their results were satisfactory.”

“Hmm, I guess so. But if they wanted to know if you’re capable of blushing, they could have just asked me outright. I’ve seen you blush plenty of times.”

“Have you really?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Fascinating. When does this happen?”

“Well—different times, I guess, but… most of the time, when I kiss you, you turn red.”

“I would like a demonstration, if you don’t mind.”

She was happy to provide.

[jewfrogs]

lynn roller’s the ideology of the eunuch priest is a good article but i do not get this argument:

The language used to describe the Galli’s private activities in Rome was not so tolerant. Most references to the Galli make it clear that many Romans viewed them with utter contempt, calling them “pretty things”, “little doves”, “half-women” (Anthologia Palatina 7.222). Galli were clearly perceived as disgusting creatures, whose depraved character was evident both through their distinctive appearance, marked by brightly colored costumes, unusual headdresses, frizzy hairstyles and perfume, and also through a propensity for licentious indulgence in alcohol and sexual activities. Moreover, the Galli’s degraded conduct was directly linked to their lack of masculinity. In Anthologia Palatina 7.233 we meet for the first time a Gallus described in feminine grammatical construct; this was Aristion (a masculine name), “she who used to toss her hair among the pines in honor of Cybele”, as the poet tells us, “and she could drink three tumblrs of wine neat”. And there was Trygonion, the Little Dove, who “was the flower of the eunuch band in their clubhouse; she alone among the half-women [eunuchs] loved the rites of Aphrodite” (Anthologia Palatina 7.222.2-4).

because to me these epigrams are arguably the nicest treatment of gallae we get in antiquity, and i love them dearly:

The castanet dancer Aristion, who used to toss her hair among the pines in honor of Cybele, carried away by the music of the horned flute; she who could empty one upon the other three cups of untempered wine, rests here beneath the poplars, no more taking delight in love and the fatigue of the night-festivals. A long farewell to revels and frenzy! It lies low, the holy head that was covered erst by garlands of flowers. (7.223, trans. W. R. Paton, Loeb Classical Library 68, 1917)

Here lies the tender body of the tender being; here lies Trygonion the flower of the fragile effeminates, she who was at home by the holy shrine of Rhea, amid the noise of music and the gay prattling throng, the darling of the Mother of the gods, she who alone among her effeminate fellows really loved the rites of Cypris, and whose charms came near those of Lais. Give birth, thou holy soil, round the grave-stone of the maenad not to brambles but to the soft petals of white violets. (7.222, trans. W. R. Paton, slightly edited)

and sure, you could read these as sarcastic, but i don’t know why that would be better than embracing the possibility that greco-roman treatment of the gallae is multifaceted and can encompass acceptance and appreciation and even love alongside the traditional reactions of disdain and disgust. what if two thousand years ago there really was a person who was born a man and chose womanhood and was loved and loved to dance and drink and celebrate and sleep with people and someone mourned her when she died? what then?

[whiskeyswriting]

The Cure

Dedication: This story goes to all of those that have wished they had a true friend like Phoenix by their side. It's at your worst moments that people show their true color and show you they'll truly stand by your side or leave you.

Playlist: Spotify | Apple

⚠️warning: mentions of alcohol consumption; mentions of anxiety, depression, and panic attacks; mentions of low self-doubt; mentions of death and grief; naval inaccuracies

📝A/N1: This is a work of fiction. Please do not copy or post anywhere else. Feel free to like and reblog but do give credit. Any constructive criticism is appreciated. I do not own any of the photos included in this post. Photos used have been from Pinterest or Tumblr or Instagram. I also don’t own any of the characters mentioned.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

10 Year Ago

This was your moment. To many it wouldn’t seem like a big accomplishment but to you, it was a step towards your fully becoming an adult. Your friends had already gotten their own place, so to them this wasn’t anything new.

You had finished furnishing your apartment to style and liking a few days prior and now you were waiting for your friends to arrive for your first time hosting wine night.

It had been something you planned just the day before so you anticipated your friends to run late. What you hadn’t anticipated was for you to wait for two hours and nobody arriving or calling you.

You pack up in various to go boxes the cheeses, meats, fruits, and crackers that you had laid out. You go to your makeshift guest room and office and take out a few thank you cards.

Taping the cards to the boxes, you head outside and leave them at each door of your neighbors on your floor. You knock gently on the last door and gingerly place the box on the small table next to the door.

Heading back to your apartment, you feel the tears of rejection and abandonment surface. You leave the kitchen as is and go straight to bed.

You’re awoken 45 minutes later by knocking at your door followed by voices. You look to see who it is before opening and you vaguely recognize your neighbor from across the hall.

“Hey! I just got home and wanted to welcome you to the building. I’m Natasha,” she says as she holds out a bag for you. Candles and decorative flowers were visible from the top of the bag.

“I don’t live here but still wanted to say welcome,” the guy in a Hawaiian shirt tells you and hands you a small envelope. “Bradley.”

Your tears are renewed as you accept the gifts and introduce yourself. “Would you like to come in?” You ask and they nod and enter. You decide to give them a tour, even though the layout of the apartment across the hall is identical.

After polishing off, three bottles of wine, you listen to Natasha and Bradley tell stories of their college adventures. They had both also applied for the Naval Academy and we’re waiting to hear back if they had been accepted.

There was something calming and comforting about the two of them that made you forget for a moment that your friends had left you alone earlier.

“This is the best last minute hangout I’ve ever had. We should do it again,” Natasha tells you. You all exchange phone numbers and all social media possible before they take their leave.

Little did you know that this small gesture from them would change the course of your life.

6 Years Ago

The dictionary defines "mediator" as a person who attempts to make people involved in a conflict come to an agreement. What the dictionary, or any other book really, tells you is that friendships you thought would be there forever end when you play mediator for two friends.

 It was a dark time in your life: your parents going through a bitter divorce, secrets coming to light, your anxiety and depression starting to develop. On top of that, you had the stress of work causing panic attacks. 

 When Cassandra and Isabella came to blows over how they viewed their friendship, both came to you to vent. You already had too much on your plate emotionally, so you made it clear to both that you would not be taking sides. You assured them both of your love for each and encouraged to take time and cool down to talk again at another opportunity when emotions were not running high.

Cassandra was the only one to understand where you were coming from and did her best to not involve you.

Isabella on the other hand… She kept bringing it up every time you would meet up with her. Deep down, you had a feeling that she expected you to automatically side with her because you met her before ever being friends with Cassandra.

After the last brunch you had with her, you met up with Natasha. “I’m so exhausted Nat and I hate complaining to you but I don’t know what else to do for my sanity.”

“Want me to strap her to my F-18 on my next flight?” She asks causing your to laugh.

“You’re the best! Ugh why did you have to be so good at being a pilot? Can you sneak my into the Navy?”

“Yeah it doesn’t work lie that! But after my deployment I was called to Top Gun.”

You can’t help the shriek you emit and you hug her. “That’s amazing!! I know you’ve been working hard!”

“Rooster is also going.”

“Rooster..? You mean Bradley!? He finally is getting to go?” Your wide smile told her how happy you were for the two of them.

Then reality hits you. “We won’t have our weekly pizza nights. Ugh look at me trying to make it about me when we should be celebrating you!”

“You’ll be okay without me. You got this.”

“You’re my newest friend and the one that believes the most in me,” you say a bit sadly. “Cassandra is moving to Nebraska. She got offered a job with better pay over there.”

Nat gives you a hug. “I’m always a call away. Anytime you feel alone, look up and find me in the sky.”

You return the hug knowing she means the words. “You’re the best Phoenix. Prove all those boys are idiots at Top Gun.”

4 Years Ago

It was the call you dreaded to make to Natasha. To say that she did really get a great first impression of your fiancé, only to have him prove her right hurt after you believed he would be your future. You did your best to not break down but you only lasted three weeks until you called her for support.

You knew she was deployed in the middle of the Pacific and she really wouldn’t have any signal to hear your message. “I’m so sorry to call you like this… I just… I don’t know what else to do… where else to go… I’m okay I promise. I just… Michael had been cheating with Isabella. I have nobody Nat… I’m so lonely and I.. I hate it. I keep trusting the wrong people…?” You take a long swig from one of the bottles of whiskey you bought.

“Am I not lovable? Is there something wrong with me…? I know I’m not supermodel beautiful… I’m not even beautiful… I’m not even smart enough to know how to make a man happy…” you continue ranting to the emptiness on the other line.

Little did you know that Natasha and Bradley had just arrived at the states and both heard your voicemail. What you had forgotten was that you left her a second message of your drunken rendition of Beyoncé’s “Irreplaceable” while packing up Michael’s stuff in your apartment.

The next morning you wake with a hangover and are still too half asleep as you go to make coffee to realize the two pilots sitting in your living room.

“You got the party started without us?” Bradley asks and you scream bloody murder at the fright he gave you.

“What the hell Bradley Nicholas Bradshaw?!”

“We were going to surprise you but then we got your message,” Nat says offering you a cup of coffee with toast and aspirin.

You groan at the pounding in your head and accept the offerings. You then start crying again and tell them everything.

The entire time of their stay, they make you their priority. The three of you head out to go on hikes, go for brunch. They even take you to the shooting range for target practice.

You look at them as they pack up for their respective deployments. Their friendship has helped you through the darkest days you’ve been through. Growing up you thought you knew what friendship was, but know you live and breathe the truth of friendship.

“I was a little bit lost, but I'm not anymore... I was a little bit hurt, but I'm not anymore... I was a little left out, but I'm not anymore... 'Cause the tears fell down, but they don't anymore... I was a little messed up, but I'm not anymore... I was a little locked out, but I'm not anymore... I was a little far gone, but I'm not anymore... Yeah, it's alright now, baby, I got the cure”

The lyrics to the Little Mix song come to mind and you know that no matter the distance your friendship with Natasha would always be the cure to any issue you’re having.

1 Year Ago

After your parents' and Cassandra's deaths two years ago, you made Natasha and Bradley your emergency contacts. In return, both of them added you to their emergency contacts list.

The first call from the Naval base left you scared.

It was a training accident. A bird strike.

You took the immediate next flight out to San Diego to visit Natasha at the hospital. There you met her back-seater. It was during this visit to California, that the Dagger Squad adopted you as their honorary member and gave you your own callsign.

The second call nearly killed you.

Your own friendship with Bradley blossomed out of grief. He understood what it was to lose his parents, one to an accident and another to illness. He knew how and when to comfort you.

Natasha would often tease the two of you of making an adorable couple. Neither you or Bradley had ever broached the subject of dating or even thought to.

Even if he had, after everything you had endured with Michael you knew you needed time to learn to undo the damage with therapy.

Hearing that the plane his instructor and pseudo-dad was in got shot down and then Bradley's was also shot down, you were shaking so much that you dropped the containers with your meals for the week and food splattered all over the floor.

"No no no no! I can't lose them too!" You keep repeating as you make your way over to the base to wait for the USS Abraham Lincoln to return with your favorite people.

A few days later, you hear a knock at the door of Natasha's house. When you see Jake, you hug him so tightly. "Where are they?!" Instead of answering, he takes your hand and leads you to his truck so he can take you to them. "They're all okay. They're being kept for observation. They knew you would raise hell if they left you without saying goodbye."

You spend the night in Natasha's hospital room and take turns visiting Bradley, Bob, and Maverick. It's not until a couple days later that they are released and allowed to go home.

"Yeah, I know you've been losing the fight. You been knocked down a million times. Screaming out, you don't know what to do. That's when I'll be right next to you," Natasha says as she hands you the cup of tea that she brought over. "I know you've been doing better with therapy, but we still need our girl's pizza night. We can sit on the edge of your bed. Tell me all of the fears in your head and I'll sing you your favorite song 'til the pain and all the tears are all gone."

Now

Standing in your white gown, you wait for the doors to open. Your hold on the bouquet tightens as you take in a deep breath.

You turn to look Maverick as he offers you his arm to walk you down the aisle and give you away. "He's excited to see you walking down to him."

The smile you have can't be contained. "I can't wait to see him and be his wife."

Just as you finish speaking, you can hear the notes of the instrumental version of Begin Again can be heard playing.

The doors open and the smile on your fiancé, now soon-to-be husband, matches yours. Maverick gives your arm a small squeeze and you both start walking down the aisle.

🏷 List: @callsignscupcake @cycbaby @callsign-dragonbaron @luckyladycreator2

📝A/N2: Who is the soon-to-be husband? That’s all up to you. Your pick of who you would want to see at the end of the aisle on your wedding day.

[withluvvvemaxie]

Diluc x Reader :D

Hi this my first post on here. I’m new to writing fanfics pls be nice. I also have no clue how tumblr works so I’m just winging it rn.

In short: y’all go to a flower field and ur down bad for wine man who gets sentimental.

warnings: Not proof read, slight spoilers for Diluc’s backstory(?)

Readers gender is up to you, mostly about Diluc

Mondstadt was beautiful in the fall, leaves starting to turn brown and orange while the weather cooled down. If you were early enough to see it, you could experience the last moments of flowers from the summer. Colors once so vibrant and bright turning muted and dark would seem saddening for most but for the heir of the Dawn Winery it was calming to say the least.

You and Diluc had been dating for years now and yet these moments never got old. Despite having the same routine every year it never made anything less special. Diluc waking you up early in the morning with a kiss on you’re forehead and a “It’s time to wake up dear, we can’t miss it today~”. Seeing him follow you around while you were getting getting ready like an excited puppy was enough to get you ready for the day.

The 15 minute walk to the valley was silent with the sound of two pairs of footsteps. It always seemed longer than it actually was but in the end it was worth it, seeing all the flora and feeling the cool autumn air felt peaceful and relaxing. 

Diluc always compared flowers during changing to phoenixes or would make comments referencing his past. You mostly stayed quiet, listening to the voice of your beloved and viewing the scenery. 

“Like a phoenix, these flowers become reborn from ashes each year.”

“Views like these remind me of old times, if only this place could be frozen in time.”

“Back then me, Jean, Amber, and Kaeya would all sneak out in the morning to see views like this each season. Me and Jean would bring our tortoises while  Kaeya and Amber would try and catch rabbits to call their own. We used to think that in the future we would all be adventurers and knights that save the day from bad guys.”

Despite whatever you two conversed about this little date of yours would always end in a sweet silence.

The end.❤️💜❤️💜