christmas puppy
🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “God, you’re so jealous,” you laugh. Your best friend’s brother doesn’t usually act this way, at his frat, everyone knows you’re his, no one would dare come near you- but here, in your hometown, surrounded by past crushes and would be romancables, it’s open season, and it’s clear that it’s making Jaehyun uncomfortable.
tw/cw. multiple sex scenes, airplane sex, best friend's brother Jae touching reader while his sister is drunk/asleep next to them, fingering, multiple orgasms, phone sex, dirty talk, praise, slight stalking/use of snapmaps to obsess over a crush, jealousy, unprotected sex, Jae is a munch, sibling antics, 'loser' jae, exhibitionism, directed masturbation, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel. (his) puppy.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 11k
🍭 aus. uni/frat au, best friend's brother Jae, boy next door Jae, Christmas, secret romance, established relationship, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. It's the way I'm kind of in love with him, he's so stupidly soft
Prologue
“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” you groan as your best friend’s brother slips his hand under your shirt, pressing you tighter against the door of his frathouse bedroom.
“You’re right,” Jaehyun concedes, but his lips continue their fevered pace against your throat, and his thumb brushes by your nipple, making you moan louder.
“Your sister-”
“Never has to know,” he finishes for you.
He pinches your nipple gently and it has you whining, your panties growing wetter by the second. But it’s only a brief distraction before your mind is spinning again. “We need to stop,” you say, but in the same sentence, you reach between your bodies to palm Jaehyun’s cock through his jeans.
“We can stop,” Jaehyun nods, finally pulling away from your neck to look you in the eyes. “Tell me to stop.”
You stare at the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. The man you grew up with. The older brother of your best friend, the boy next door. He’d been at the center of all your fantasies in high school- but you’d never thought you’d actually end up in this situation with him… repeatedly.
You can’t say no, and you both know it.
Jaehyun smirks, a pretty dimple on display, and then he’s smashing his lips to yours. His hands wrap around your waist, and he tosses you onto his bed. By the time he’s kissed down your body and lifted up your skirt, all your objections have dissipated from your mind.
There’s only you and Jaehyun, and right now, that’s all that matters.
One
“I’m literally dying to see you,” Nari grins the moment you open Facetime.
You laugh, setting your textbook aside. “You’re seeing me now.”
“Don’t be like that,” Nari rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Christmas! Just a few more exams, and by this time two weeks from now, we’ll be making cookies and Christmas shopping and watching movies and hitting on cute boys at the skating rink-”
You smile at the thought, although your heart picks up speed at the mention of boys.
“I hear Mark Lee is going to be home for Christmas, and so is his cousin Jeno- I’m thinking, if we play our cards right, maybe we can swing a double date, or we could invite them to my family Christmas party and see what happens under the mistletoe!” Nari continues.
“Are you still crushing on Mark?” you laugh, shocked that her infatuation with her old high school crush is still alive and well despite going to a different uni than the resident hockey prodigy.
“Of course!” Nari’s expression falls. “Wait, aren’t you still into Jeno?”
“Honestly?” You take a deep breath. “We’ve done a whole term at our new universities, and I feel like it would be better for me to find someone here. Long distance isn’t my thing.”
“Well, in that case… I suppose I can talk to my brother and have him set you up with one of his frat friends,” - the thought of Jaehyun setting you up with anyone other than himself is almost comical, and you have to fight the laugh that bubbles inside of you - “actually, that brings me to the reason I called! I know you and Jae were going to leave to fly home around the same time, but it turns out you booked the same flight- what are the odds huh?”
Your heart skips a beat again. You hadn’t thought much of telling Jaehyun your flight time three nights ago after he’d fucked you stupid- hadn’t realized there might be an ulterior motive to his question.
Of course he’d get the same flight as you.
You’ve been sleeping together for just over two months now, and the fratboy always has a way of ending up in the same room as you- although, he’d been using Snapchat maps to do it originally.
The man is obsessed- and you kind of love it.
You’d mentioned wanting to join the mile-high club to him the fourth time you’d hooked up, when you’d discussed sex bucket lists, but you’d never imagined he would remember it- or try to put it into practice.
“Anyways, I know you two aren’t close,” Nari explains, “but I thought you might want to coordinate with him, and when you land, I can pick you both up from the airport, save your mom a trip.”
You swallow thickly before nodding. “That would be nice.”
It would be nice… but it won’t be easy.
You’re shocked you’ve even kept your little secret this long, and you’re dreading what it will be like once you’re in person with your best friend. Hiding the fact that you’re fucking her brother while at uni with him is one thing, doing it in front of Nari will be another.
Two
“I know what’s making you tense,” Jaehyun says, pulling his face from between your thighs and straightening to stare down at you.
“Exam season?” you suggest, mind half occupied with the final you have tomorrow.
“You’ve had big tests before and it’s never taken this long to make you cum,” Jaehyun scoffs. “Not that I mind, of course,” he leans down to press a quick kiss to your lips, adjusting on top of you while his cock slides between your wet pussy lips, teasing you. “You’re worried about seeing Nari.”
“Are you seriously going to talk about her while you put your cock in me?” you laugh, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.
“I’m not inside you yet,” he grins, pausing his grinding movements.
“And I hate that you’re not,” you groan, your core still throbbing from the orgasm he’d just given you with his tongue.
“Be for real with me for a moment,” Jaehyun urges, leaning down to press his lips to your throat. “Is it really the worst thing in the world if Nari finds out about us?”
“Puppy-”
“It’s been two months. We’ve been fucking for two months, angel. I know you don’t like to use official terms but come on… you know what we are to each other. Isn’t Christmas the best time to tell everyone?”
“Tell them what? That we’re fucking?”
“Don’t make me use the G word, because I will,” he warns.
“The G word?” you fake innocence.
With a low groan, Jaehyun pushes his cock into you. “Christmas is the best time to tell everyone that you’re my girlfriend.”
“Is that what I am?” you tease, although your stomach erupts in butterflies at the notion.
Jaehyun tangles his fingers with yours, pressing them against the pillows while he begins to thrust into you. “Uh huh.”
“You’re so soft, puppy.”
“I’m actually really hard,” he smirks, looking down at you with mischievous eyes. “No one makes me hard like you do.”
You laugh. “How romantic.”
“Look-” he swallows thickly, holding your hands tighter while rutting into you, “we’re flying home together- Nari might guess it even if we don’t tell her.”
“If you look at me the way you’re looking at me right now, it will be kind of obvious,” you admit.
Jaehyun has taken to staring at you like a lovesick puppy, and your new uni friends are the first ones who pointed it out to you. At the time, you’d assumed they were being crazy- when you’d first started fucking Jaehyun, you’d thought he’d always just be your best friend’s hot older brother. You’d had no way of ever anticipating that he’d fall for you as hard as he has.
“So we should just tell her,” Jaehyun suggests.
“What if I want to keep you as my dirty little secret?” you sigh. “Just for a bit longer.”
You can feel his hot breath against your face, can see that he’s not happy with the idea, but he nods anyway. “Whatever you want, angel.”
“Thank you, puppy.”
Lifting your head off the pillows, you press your lips to Jaehyun’s, and that’s the last you have to say on the matter before getting lost in him.
Three
“Fuck, angel,” Jaehyun groans, digging his fingers into your thighs while your panting and muffled moans fill the small airplane bathroom, “I don’t know how I’m going to go five days without this.”
You can only groan against his palm, eyes rolling into the back of your head while he fucks you harder. Your own fingers work your clit, and your pussy is clinging desperately to his cock.
You’re already on the edge- Jae had been teasing you under your blanket at your seats, and the exhibitionism of this whole situation has your heart racing a million beats a minute.
“I’m sure we can find some time for a few quickies, right?” Jaehyun asks, and you can hear the desperation in his voice. “My sister isn’t going to hog you the whole time-”
You open your eyes, giving Jaehyun a warning look. It’s cute that he’s so worried about his sister- but you hate when he brings her up while balls deep inside your wet pussy- your orgasm so close you can almost taste it-
“Fuck, yeah, you’re right- shit,” Jaehyun gives his head a small shake. “We’ll make this work,” he insists, taking his hand from your mouth so he can crash his lips to your own, fucking you even harder.
It’s a wonder that the whole airplane isn’t rocking with the intensity of his thrusts, and you nearly have a heart attack when the plane hits turbulence just as you both cum.
You cling to each other, shaking with emotion as the small bathroom jolts and rumbles.
The plane steadies out and Jaehyun smiles into your kiss, laughing a little at the way you’d both reacted.
“We should get back to our seats,” he whispers.
“You go out first, I’ll be there in a sec,” you nod, allowing him to help you back onto your feet.
Your legs feel like jelly, and with one final press of his lips to your own, Jaehyun pulls up his sweats and then slips out of the airplane bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts and anxieties.
Four
“Seriously, I should be pulling my own bag,” you say for the third time since Jaehyun had lifted your luggage off the carousel.
“You’ve got a bag,” he grins, eying the duffle over your shoulder.
“When Nari sees this, she’s going to know something is up.”
“Maybe she’ll think I’m just being a good brother,” Jaehyun points out. “Besides, she won’t know I pulled your bag through the airport. She’ll just show up with her car, and watch me put your stuff in the trunk. That’s not so bad, is it?”
You suppose he’s right, but your nerves are getting the better of you.
It’s hard to stand so close to Jaehyun without latching onto his side. It’s cold out too, and your jacket is fine, but you know Jaehyun is warmer- know that if you were to sneak your hands under his parka and touch his perfect abs, you’d heat up in no time-
“There she is,” Jaehyun tells you, eying the line of cars waiting to pull up for a brief stop in front of the terminal.
Nari has brought her family Range Rover, and soon the boxy SUV is coming to a stop in front of you. Your best friend jumps out of the driver’s seat, running around the large car to throw her arms around you.
She belts out your name as she embraces you, the fur hood of her jacket tickling your nose. You can’t help but smile, melting into the hug.
“I can’t believe you’re finally here!” Nari grins, pulling away to get a good look at you. “It’s been way too long, babes!”
You hear a small scoff, and you turn to see Jaehyun already busy at work putting your luggage in the back of the SUV.
“I missed you too, Jae,” Nari calls. “But this is my best friend, excuse me for welcoming her first.”
“I didn’t say anything,” the dimpled frat boy smirks, and you’re struck by the beauty of Jeong genes. Both siblings have perfect black hair, perfect little dimples that pop out when they smile, and perfect brown eyes that are always full of admiration when they look at someone they care about.
After one more small squeeze, Nari bounds over to her brother. You watch as Jaehyun lifts her from the ground, spinning your best friend around while she squeals with delight.
“Jeeze, Jae,” Nari gasps when she’s set on her feet again, “have you been bulking again? You’re fucking huge!”
You want to groan at the statement, because it’s so true.
Jaehyun had always been attractive, but then he’d gone to uni, joined the football team- and now, he’s as sexy as ever. His shoulders are broad, his chest sculpted by the gods, his arms all beefy and thick and always ready to throw you onto his bed-
The pretty fratboy notices you staring, and he flashes you a wink over his sister’s shoulder. You break eye contact, staring down at the pavement.
“Was the flight okay?” Nari asks, coming over to join you again.
“We hit a bit of turbulence,” Jaehyun answers smoothly. “But I’d say it was a good trip.”
Your skin heats at the memory of him railing you less than an hour ago. You wonder if your panties are wet from watching him be the hottest man you’ve ever seen- or from his cum still dripping out of you.
It feels dirty- but exhilarating at the same time. Jae’s your sinful little secret, and despite the wish that he didn’t have to be, it’s part of the fun.
“You seem off, babes,” Nari says, reaching over to touch your arm. “Are you okay?”
“Just tired.” You smile softly. “Didn’t sleep much on the plane.”
“Well, when we get home, I can make us some espresso martinis,” Nari winks.
Before you can say anything else, a car honks behind you, making you jump.
“We should get going,” Jaehyun says, reaching for the door to the driver’s passenger seat. “Don’t want to hold up the line.”
Instead of entering the car himself, Jaehyun looks at you pointedly. When you furrow your brows with confusion, he makes a small motion with his head, a motion that says ‘get in.’
While Nari hurries around the front of the car, you step closer to her brother. “You’re opening car doors for me now?”
“Just being chivalrous,” he grins.
You can feel his breath against your face, can see it in the cold air- he’s so close, his lips all perfect and pink and plump-
“Get in bitches, we’re going home!” Nari yells as she hops into the car.
And just like that, the spell is broken. You tear yourself away from Jaehyun, getting into the SUV while he closes the door behind you, taking his own seat in the back.
“Okay, so I know you’re only here for five days, but we still have to do all our Christmas traditions,” Nari says as she carefully pulls out of the terminal line.
“All of them?” you squeak. You’d figured you’d do a few of the things you’ve been doing with Nari since high school, but the idea that you’ll do all of them? “Do we have the time?”
“Well, if we start tonight with a girls' night, we can bake cookies, have a sleepover, watch some Christmas movies, have our espresso martinis- and then tomorrow we can go skating. I’m pretty sure the Lee boys will be there, I bumped into Mark yesterday and he said he has to be on the ice every day, even during his break-”
“You’re still into Mark, huh?” Jaehyun laughs, leaning forward from the backseat to join the conversation.
“Of course.” Nari flips a long, dark, silky smooth strand of hair over her shoulder, eying her brother through the rearview mirror. “He’s literally adorable.”
“Sure he is,” her brother scoffs.
“Anyways, as I was saying,” Nari grabs your thigh, squeezing gently, “Mark said Jeno was flying in- I think last night? So if we go skating tomorrow, we could probably see them both, maybe get apple cider from the parking lot food truck together after a cute little double date-”
“Double date?” You can feel Jaehyun’s breath against your neck. “Since when are you both into Lee’s?”
“Since when are you joining in on girl talk?” Nari fires back at her brother. “Can’t you let us plan in peace?”
“I told you I’m not into Jeno anymore,” you say quietly, feeling your skin prickle under Jaehyun’s hard gaze as you address his sister.
“Yeah, your whole long-distance thing- well, who says this has to be a relationship? We can have a bit of fun, can’t we?”
You and Jaehyun both sigh, and you hear the fratboy sit back in his seat, clearly exasperated.
“This is what happens when you join girl talk, Jae,” Nari scolds her brother. “If you don’t want to hear the juicy details, put some headphones on.”
“I’m fine with juicy details,” Jaehyun notes, “I just don’t like hearing about your random hook-up plans.”
“As if you wouldn’t hit on Irene if you saw her around town while you’re here,” Nari points out.
“Irene?” You perk up at the mention of the girl who used to be the cheerleading captain at your high school. She’s a year older than you, one year younger than Jaehyun- You swivel in your seat to address the man you’ve been sleeping with for two months. “You have a crush on Irene?”
“Oh my god, have you never heard this?” Nari practically wiggles in excitement. “Jaehyun was obsessed with her. Like- truly obsessed.”
“I was not-”
“You a hundred percent were!” Nari insists. “When Jae’s obsessed, he does this thing where he low key stalks the girl- like, looks at her location on Snapmaps and then just ‘happens’ to end up in the same place and bump into her-”
Your skin tingles. You’d known Jaehyun had used that tactic on you, but you hadn’t realized that it was a common theme of obsession for him.
When you sneak a look over your shoulder at the fratboy, you find his entire face has turned pink. “Nari, stop-” he groans.
“I’ll stop if you stop,” his sister fires back.
“Fine, yeah, I won’t say anything,” Jaehyun sighs.
“Good!” Nari grins in triumph. “So as I was saying- if we do skating tomorrow, and make gingerbread houses the next day, we can get most of our traditions done before the Christmas eve party.”
“You know what?” You take a breath as the car comes to a stop at a red light. “It sounds like you have this whole thing planned, so let’s just do it. Whatever you want.”
“Really!?” Nari beams, turning to look at you.
“Uh huh,” you nod. “Whatever you want.”
“Eeee!” your best friend throws her arms around you, leaning over the middle panel to hug you tight.
“Nari, the road!” Jaehyun yells, hand grabbing at the shoulder of your seat.
“Right-” Nari pulls away from you, turning her attention back to driving. The light is green now, and she hits the gas just as the person behind you begins to honk. “I’m just so excited- girls' night!”
“More like girls' week,” Jaehyun sighs from behind you.
“And what about it!?” Nari grins. “Babes,” her attention shifts to you again, “we should do takeout tonight. I know your mom is probably going to cook, but I’ve been missing our pho place for literal months-”
Jaehyun perks up behind you. “The pho place down on Wayfare?”
“As if there’s any other pho place,” Nari sasses.
“Shit, I could go for some of that too.”
“Then get it yourself, we’re discussing girl’s night, Jae. You’re not invited.”
You can’t help but grin to yourself at their bickering.
Soon you’re pulling up in front of your houses. When Jaehyun takes your luggage out of the back, you grab the handle, offering him a small smile. “Thanks for this, I can take it from here.”
“Have fun tonight,” he tells you.
“With your sister? Always.”
Five
You haven’t been on skates since last Christmas, and stepping onto the ice makes you wobbly. Nari grabs onto your arm, giggling at your antics.
“Don’t make fun of me,” you tell her, although you’re grinning at your own ineptitude as well.
“I’m not,” she insists. “You’re adorable. Jeno’s gonna love this, it will give him an excuse to come hold your hand.”
“Jesus, I already told you I don’t want Jeno-”
As the words escape your mouth, you catch sight of the Lee cousins. Mark is wearing blue jeans, a red crewneck and a beanie, his cheeks flushed. He’s grinning at the man next to him, the Lee Jeno in question.
Your sentence gets caught in your throat, because damn, even from across the rink, Jeno looks good. Unlike his colorful cousin, Jeno is in full black. Joggers and a hoodie, but even through the thick fabrics, the broad set of his shoulders is undeniable.
Had everyone gotten hotter in the past few months?
“Where did you say Jeno ended up going to uni again?” you ask.
Nari grins knowingly. “He went down south somewhere, a lacrosse scholarship, remember?”
Jeno had been a lean jock type in high school, but now, he looks like certified Angus beef, and you want to take a bite.
You might call Jaehyun puppy these days, but if anyone embodies some good labrador retriever energy, it’s the two cousins who catch your eye and come skating over.
Your heart begins to thunder in your rib cage, and suddenly, the winter jacket you’re wearing feels much too hot and heavy- or maybe that’s just you.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Nari beams, looking Mark up and down. “Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon.”
The hockey player gives your best friend a look, “I mean, I did tell you I’d be here every day, didn’t I?”
You can see Nari begin to flounder next to you. “She mentioned Jeno would be in town, so I insisted we come today,” you say smoothly, catching the younger Lee’s eye. “I guess I was wondering how your lacrosse scholarship was going.”
“Yeah?” Jeno grins. “I can tell you all about it.” He holds his arm out to you, and with one final smile to Nari, you accept his offer, wobbling a little as you join Jeno and begin to skate around the rink. “Where should I start?”
“Wherever you want, I don’t know much about lacrosse.”
“Well…” Jeno takes a deep breath, and then he launches into a rundown of his team's wins and losses, giving all sorts of details and using lingo that you can hardly keep track of. It’s the most you can do to watch your footing and not slip while latched onto his large bicep.
In the periphery, you can hear Nari and Mark chatting behind you. You’re happy she’s finally getting some time with her crush, even if it means you have to take one for the team and entertain Jeno… although, he’s doing a pretty good job entertaining himself.
“Anyways,” Jeno sighs, “enough about me, how has your first term been treating you?”
“It’s been great!” you smile. “I love my classes, my teachers are very good at what they do-”
“How about your personal life? New friends, boyfriends-” Jeno trails off.
You find yourself giggling. “Wow, Jeno, that was smooth.”
His ears turn pink, and he adjusts your hand on his arm, pulling you closer. “I’ll take that as a no?”
“You should take it as a… it’s complicated.”
“Most things are,” Jeno nods. “But they don’t have to be.”
“They don’t?”
“Sometimes it can be as simple as I think you’re hot, you think I’m hot, lets see what happens.”
“Is that what you want?” you ask. “To see what happens between us?”
“I’m definitely curious about it… and I feel like you are too.”
You open your mouth to say something, and that’s when you catch sight of Jaehyun. He’s leaning by the opening to the rink, arms crossed over his chest. The white cardigan he has on was a Christmas present from his mother last year, and his jeans are black. He looks extremely striking, as always, and he’s staring right at you, a smirk on his lips.
“I uh…” you swallow thickly, considering letting go of Jeno’s arm-
Behind you, Mark’s voice gets louder. “You really think you can skate faster than me?”
“We should race,” Nari insists.
“You’re so on.”
A moment later, the two are whipping by you and Jeno, giggling like children. The distraction makes Jeno perk up, and you feel his muscles flex under your fingers.
“You should join them,” you suggest, seeing it as your only easy way out of this situation.
“Are you sure? Won’t you fall?”
“I’ll be okay,” you insist. “Seriously, I know you want to.”
“You’re the best,” Jeno grins. And then he does something you never would have expected him to do. He leans down and presses his lips to your cheek.
As suddenly as he’d made his move, he’s darting off, and you’re left shocked in his wake.
You freeze where you are, and then you begin to wobble. Your skates slip on the ice and your arms fly out, trying to help you balance-
But it’s no use, after a few seconds of sliding around, you begin to fall backward-
Strong arms catch you, and you find yourself clutched to Jaehyun’s chest while he looks down at you. “Hey, Angel.”
“Puppy-” you gasp, clinging tightly to his woven cardigan.
He helps you straighten, only to pull you tighter to his body, leaning forward so his lips brush by your ear when he says, “I wanna kiss you so fucking bad.”
“Jae-”
“It’s only fair, isn’t it? Jeno just got to kiss your cheek, why can’t I?”
“We can’t do this here-”
“You’re right,” he nods, pulling away from you, “let's go somewhere private.”
Your whole body is alight with tingling energy. You’re drawn to Jaehyun like a moth to a flame, and it takes every ounce of your self-control to pull away from him- although, you latch onto his arm a moment later when you begin to slip again.
“Puppy,” you say in a hushed tone, “we talked about this.”
“We never talked about Jeno flirting with you in front of me,” Jaehyun points out, beginning to lead you toward the wall of the ice rink where you’ll be able to grab the ledge for support.
“I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s not your fault. He has to learn his place.”
“God, you’re so jealous,” you laugh. Your best friend’s brother doesn’t usually act this way, at his frat, everyone knows you’re his, no one would dare come near you- but here, in your hometown, surrounded by past crushes and would be romancables, it’s open season, and it’s clear that it’s making Jaehyun uncomfortable.
“I’m protective,” he corrects you.
You make it to the edge of the rink and you grab onto the side, steadying yourself and turning to look out at the ice. Mark is easy to spot in his red crewneck, making a fast lap with Nari and Jeno quick on his heels. God, you’d really held them all up with your wobbly skating.
“They look like they’re having fun,” Jaehyun notes, following your gaze.
“Yeah, Nari’s always been good on the ice.”
Jaehyun laughs. “That’s what five years of figure skating will do to you.”
“I wouldn’t be able to stand it, my feet are already hurting from these skates and I just got here.”
“I could always offer to take you home, we could get some alone time.” Jaehyun moves closer to you, and it takes everything for you to not lean against his shoulder.
“I’d love to, but-”
“But this is girl’s time,” he finishes your sentence for you.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jaehyun sighs. “Nari has missed you. I don’t blame her for that.”
A minute later, your best friend stops in front of you with the Lee boys in tow. “Ready for another go around the rink?” she asks.
“I’m just slowing you guys down, maybe I should just… stand here,” you suggest.
“I’ll keep her company,” Jaehyun smiles, and you don’t miss the way his eyes shift to Jeno, who straightens under his gaze.
“Or we could go grab some apple cider from the food truck,” Jeno pipes up. “Mark and I have been here a while, I’m done with skating if you are.”
Nari looks at you, then at Mark, then to Jeno- you’re not really sure how to respond yourself.
“Apple cider sounds perfect right now,” Jaehyun says smoothly. “It will be my treat. But hey, Nari, I know you love skating, how about you stick around here with Mark for a while? Looked like you two were enjoying yourselves.”
“Uh… I mean, if that’s okay with you?” Nari reaches out for your hand. “We’ll do a few more laps then we can come join?”
“Whatever you want,” you nod, squeezing her fingers gently.
“Okay, well,” a grin appears on her face and she sneaks a glance at Mark before looking at you and her brother again, “I guess we’ll meet you in the parking lot.”
As she and the hockey player dart away, you push off from the wall, only to begin wobbling. Two sets of steady hands grab your arms and you find yourself squished between Jeno and Jaehyun.
“Easy there, angel,” Jaehyun breathes.
Jeno tightens his grip on you but doesn’t say anything, and they help you off the ice.
You can feel the tension in the air, and it only gets thicker as you try to find somewhere to sit to take off your skates amongst the young families all lacing up to get in the rink. It’s Jaehyun who nabs you a seat, insisting you’re the first to get your skates off. But he doesn’t stop there, as you struggle with the tight knots, Jaehyun gets down on a knee, brushing your hands aside.
“Looks like Nari did these up for you, huh?” he muses with a grin on his face.
“Yeah, something about tight laces for ankle safety,” you huff, leaning back and allowing him to do the work.
Jaehyun opens his mouth to respond to you, but Jeno beats him to it. “So you two are pretty close, huh?”
You exchange a look with your best friend’s brother. “Well, I mean- we grew up together,” you point out.
“Right, neighbors, I forgot about that.” Jeno nods to himself. “And you’re at the same uni now?”
“Yup,” Jaehyun says flatly, pulling your first skate off while you let out a sigh of relief.
“See much of each other?” the lacrosse player asks.
“In passing,” you lie, and it makes Jaehyun smirk to himself as he continues to your second skate.
Jeno doesn’t question you further, and as soon as you’re free of the torture devices that had been strapped to your feet, you dart to the skate counter to retrieve your shoes, leaving the two alpha males to their own devices.
When Jaehyun and Jeno find you again, they’re chatting easier now- some shared love for a sports team. It allows you some reprieve as you all head outside and get in line at the food truck.
It’s odd to be in a situation like this. Two gorgeous, beefy, tall men on either side of you- this would have been a dream of yours back in high school, but now, it falls oddly flat.
Mark and Nari join you by the time you make it to the front of the line, and Jaehyun buys a round of apple ciders despite the Lee cousins protesting. “It’s the least I could do for the guys who entertained these two goofballs before I showed up,” Jaehyun insists, nudging his sister playfully.
The conversation quickly returns to sports, and Nari pulls you aside. “So…” she grins. “How was Jeno time?”
“How was Mark time?” you counter.
“He’s just as cute and sweet as I remember,” Nari practically swoons. “I’m so happy Jaehyun decided to cockblock you and not me- but Jeno likes you, I’m sure of it.”
“Can we drop this whole Jeno thing?” you groan, eyes darting over her shoulder to the group of men who are still talking about football of all topics.
“He’s so hot though! Why are you being like this?”
“I told you, I don’t want anything long distance.” and also I’m in love with your brother.
Nari crinkles her nose with distaste. “You’re no fun.”
Your gaze shifts to Jaehyun, and he flashes you a small wink that makes your heart race in your chest.
This whole thing is getting out of hand.
Six
It’s very hard to focus on your gingerbread house with Jaehyun hovering around the kitchen. He’s come and looked in the fridge about six different times, you’ve watched him down three beers, eat an orange cup, a few pieces of beef jerky, and then grab a bag of chips.
“Did you guys not have dinner or something?” you find yourself asking with a laugh.
“Huh?” Nari looks up from her immaculate creation, then swivels in her chair to eye her brother. “Actually, that’s a good question, why are you eating so much?”
“Are you two fat-shaming me?” Jaehyun questions before plopping more chips in his mouth.
“Oh my god, Jae, fuck off-” Nari rolls her eyes.
The football player grins. “If you must know, I’m bulking. I’m allowed to bulk, aren’t I? I was at the gym for three hours this morning.”
“That doesn’t sound healthy,” Nari muses.
“Yeah? Well, look at these.” Jaehyun’s in a muscle shirt, and as he lifts his arms to flex, you find yourself beginning to drool. You have to tear your eyes off of him, your skin heating with excitement.
God, you want him so bad-
“Put your guns away, Jesus, neither of us want to see that!” Nari screeches.
Jaehyun only grins, approaching the two of you at the dinner table. “Nice gingerbread houses.”
“We’re almost done,” Nari smiles, inspecting her perfect little edible art project.
“What’s next for girl’s night?” Jaehyun asks, leaning over his sister’s chair.
“Christmas movies,” you respond, trying to focus on your own craft despite Jaehyun’s eyes being glued to you.
“Sounds fun.”
You reach for your martini, and you can feel Jaehyun watching that too.
“How much have you guys had to drink?” Your best friend’s brother questions.
“Who are you? The party police? God, Jae, just leave us alone,” Nari groans.
“Fine, have it your way.” Jaehyun straightens again. “Just pace yourselves okay?”
You wonder, as the night continues, the motives behind Jaehyun’s warning. Nari generally does the opposite of what her brother asks her to do, and true to form, she ends up drinking much more than she’d initially planned.
By the time you settle into the living room to watch a movie, she’s hiccuping, her skin all flushed as she cuddles under a soft blanket. “Stupid Jaehyun,” she groans, “telling me not to drink. Who does he think he is?”
“He’s just watching out for us,” you sigh, scrolling through Netflix to find the movie you’d agreed on.
“Why’s he have to be such a big brother party pooper all the time?” Nari asks. “He’s so lame.”
You can’t help but smile. And you can’t agree with her either, a small sound of semi-affirmation is all you can muster.
You’re not fifteen minutes into the movie when you hear soft footfalls behind the couch, and you turn to see Jaehyun leaning over you. “Hi,” he grins.
Your eyes dart to Nari, who is passed out in the corner of the couch. Alcohol has always made her sleepy, and you wonder if this was Jaehyun’s plan all along.
“Can I join you?” he asks.
“As long as you don’t wake her up,” you whisper after a few moments of contention.
Jaehyun comes around the couch and you wiggle over to make room for him in the middle. He sits down carefully, allowing you to adjust the blankets over you both. His arm immediately falls around your shoulders, and you can’t help the sigh that slips out of you.
“Missed you,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Missed you too,” you admit.
His free hand finds your thigh under the blanket and you shift nervously.
“Puppy-”
“Nari is asleep. We both know what happens when she drinks. She’s out cold, angel.” Jaehyun’s angled towards you now, his lips ghosting past your throat.
“What about your parents?”
“They’re at a Christmas party, they won’t be home till the AM.” He nuzzles your ear and the contact makes you shiver, turning slightly toward him while he parts your thighs. “Can I touch you?”
“You’re already touching me,” you breathe.
“You know what I mean.” His fingers toy with the waistband of your sweatpants. “Tell me to stop.”
You can only release a small sigh of pleasure as he kisses your throat again, abusing your sweet spot while his hand slips under your pants, bypassing your panties too.
“Fuck, angel, you’re already so wet,” he moans in your ear. “Such a dirty girl, letting your best friend’s brother touch you like this while she sleeps next to us.”
You hate that his words turn you on even more. Hate that your entire pussy tingles with interest, his index finger brushing over your clit and making your mind hazy.
“Have you missed this as much as I have?” he asks.
“It’s been two days puppy, we’ve gone longer-”
“That’s not the point,” Jaehyun insists, slipping one digit into your tight pussy, stroking your aching walls while you struggle to hold your moans at bay. “It’s torture, being this close to you and having to pretend we’re not-” His voice catches, and his breath is hot against your skin.
“Not what?” you whimper.
“Not totally obsessed with each other,” he says finally, adding a second finger to work you open.
“Only one of us is obsessed, puppy.”
“Yeah? Your pussy says otherwise, angel. You’re practically dripping on my hand.”
“Please-”
“Please what? Close already?” Jaehyun applies pressure to your clit with his palm, pumping his digits into you even harder.
“We can’t-” you swallow thickly. “I can’t-”
“Can’t what? Cum while Nari sleeps next to us? I’m sure you can angel, she never has to know, that’s what you keep saying, right?”
“Puppy,” you open your eyes, reaching up to cup his face. “The bathroom.”
Jaehyun pulls his hand from your pants immediately. “After you.”
You catch him licking his fingers clean as you stand from the couch, careful not to wake Nari as you tiptoe to the bathroom down the hall, Jaehyun hot on your heels.
You’re quick to turn the light and fan on, hoping to muffle any noise. The moment the bathroom door is closed and locked behind you, Jaehyun has you pressed against it. His lips are hot against your own and he quickly tugs your pants down to your knees. You try to thread your fingers through his hair only for him to capture your wrists, pinning them above you while his free hand slips between your legs again.
His digits slide into you easily, and your back arches, thighs twitching. “Fuck, puppy-”
“I’ve missed watching you cum,” Jaehyun groans. “Wanna make you cum like this before I fuck you properly. You can do that for me, right? Cum on my fingers? I think I deserve it after having to watch you and Jeno yesterday.”
The mention of Jeno has your stomach twisting into knots, your orgasm building much too quickly as Jaehyun works you open, his palm firm on your clit.
“Come on, angel,” his grip on your wrist tightens, “I can feel you tensing up, just let go for me.”
You bite into your lower lip as you cum, your core throbbing while Jaehyun works you through it. You’re doing your best to muffle your own sounds but it’s difficult with the amount of pleasure coursing through you.
You can feel Jaehyun watching you intently, can feel his heavy breaths on your skin as his fingers thrust in and out of your gushing pussy.
“So fucking perfect,” he groans.
“Puppy-” you whimper, desperation overtaking you.
“Yeah?”
“Fuck me? Please?” All your inhibitions have flown out the bathroom window. All you want now is Jaehyun.
“Thought you’d never ask,” Jaehyun grins.
He lets go of your wrists and you move to the sink, lifting yourself up and onto it while Jaehyun works on his belt. Your skin tingles, your eyes fixed on the bulge pressing against denim. As soon as he’s pushed his pants down, releasing his aching cock, you’re grabbing at him to pull him close, lining him up with your core-
“Fuck!” Nari’s voice is loud on the other side of the door. “Oh my god, Y/N, open up!”
You freeze for a moment, but when loud banging begins, you jump into overdrive.
You push Jaehyun away from you, hopping off the sink to pull up your sweatpants- “Get in the shower,” you whisper at him before turning your attention to the door, “One moment!”
The next thing you do is flush the toilet, then turn on the faucet while Jaehyun clamors into the tub, still fumbling with his pants while you close the curtain.
“Oh my God-” you hear again, and your heart thunders in your rib cage, realization overtaking you.
You unlock the door quickly, throwing it open just in time for Nari to stumble past you to the toilet. She sinks to her knees, a gagging sound filling the room as the consequences of her drinking are brought up.
“Nari,” you sigh, immediately moving to grab her hair, pulling it away from her face while she pukes.
There’s nothing else to be said, nothing else to be done while you take care of your best friend, her brother hiding in the shower with his cock probably still hard and aching.
As things begin to settle for Nari a short while later, you stroke her back. “Feeling better?”
She nods, letting out a pitiful groan.
“Do you want to stay in here? Or do you think we can go to the kitchen so I can grab you some water and crackers for your stomach?”
Nari takes a moment to consider it, and then she mumbles, “Kitchen.”
You help her to her feet, supporting her out of the bathroom. When you reach the kitchen, you take her to the sink just in case anything else comes up, and you hurry to get her some water.
As you hand her the cup, Jaehyun stumbles into the kitchen. “Are you two okay? I heard noises.”
“She just had a little too much to drink,” you explain softly, still rubbing Nari’s back.
“Well, I hate to say it, but I told you to watch your liquor tonight,” Jaehyun grins.
Nari glares at her brother over the rim of her cup. “Fuck off and die.”
Seven
The Jeong family Christmas party is always one of the best nights of the year. You arrived early to help prep appetizers, and you’d been in the house not five minutes before Nari forced you into an ugly Christmas sweater - as per her family tradition.
Now, as the house is full of all sorts of people, you feel like an absolute mess with the stupid reindeer on your chest. Although, to be fair, Nari’s is even worse. And Jaehyun’s? Maybe the most hideous of them all- however, his handsome face is more than enough to make up for it.
Jaehyun’s clearly pent-up, and it’s obvious he doesn’t give a shit about your ugly Christmas sweater. He keeps looking at you as if he wants to throw you against the wall and fuck you stupid with the entire party watching, and you’ve done your best to avoid him all night.
It doesn’t help that Jeno and Mark have shown up, the hockey player distracting Nari and leaving you open to the younger Lee, who keeps finding excuses to start a conversation with you.
“So when do you head back to uni?” Jeno asks, leaning closer as he nurses the beer in his hand.
“On the twenty-sixth.”
“Shit, in two days?”
“Uh huh.”
Jeno cocks his head to the side. “You couldn’t stay longer?”
“I’m actually moving into my own place on January first, so I’ve gotta get home and pack and prep for classes next term, that sort of thing,” you explain.
“Sucks. It would have been nice to spend some more time with you.”
You notice then that his beer is empty, and instead of responding to his statement, you suggest getting him another round. When you move to the fridge, you find that all the Corona’s are gone, so you excuse yourself to grab more from the cooler out on the back deck, hoping for some reprieve.
It’s a cold night, your breath hanging in the air as you open the cooler, reaching down for the beer you need.
You hear the door open behind you, the noise of the party getting loud only for it to be muffled again when the door is shut once more. “I’ll just be a second,” you call, expecting it to be Jeno who’s followed you outside, however, when you turn, it’s not Jeno’s chest you bump into, it’s Jaehyun’s.
“Hey, angel.”
You let out a sigh, looking up at his handsome face. “Hi, puppy.” His arms wrap around you, and you let out a groan. “What are you doing?”
“It’s cold out here, I’m warming you up,” he insists, dimples on display as he grins. “Also, I found something inside.”
“Yeah? What did you find?”
Jaehyun reaches into his pocket, pulling out something small and green. “Mistletoe.”
He doesn’t even bother holding it over your head, he simply cups the back of your head with one hand and draws your lips to his own.
This is the worst place to be kissing Jaehyun. Anyone could open the door from the kitchen and find the two of you making out, but you also can’t say no to him anymore, not when your entire body is yearning for him in a way that you can’t even put into words.
You melt in his embrace, kissing him back.
His tongue glides against your lower lip, and you open your mouth, accepting him into you while he releases a low groan, tugging you closer to his warm body.
There’s a shattering sound inside, and a scream, then laughter, and the commotion causes you to pull away from Jaehyun, looking over his shoulder toward the door.
“We should go back inside,” you sigh.
“For Jeno to keep flirting with you?” Jaehyun scoffs. “I’m not a huge fan of that idea.”
“As if you weren’t talking to Irene earlier, don’t think I didn’t notice her arrive an hour ago.”
“There’s a difference between me and Irene, and you and Jeno.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” you laugh.
“I don’t give a fuck about Irene anymore, but with you and Jeno, I’m not so sure.”
Your heart tightens in your chest. “Jae-”
“Puppy,” he corrects you.
“Puppy,” you sigh, “there’s nothing between me and Jeno. I’ve been trying to avoid him all night.”
“Not as hard as you’ve been avoiding me.”
“Yeah, because you look at me like you want to bend me over the next horizontal surface and fuck me stupid!” you laugh.
“Are you a mind reader now, angel?” Jaehyun grins.
“Something like that,” you shake your head at his antics, patting his chest with your free hand. “Seriously, I’m getting cold, we should go inside.”
“Fine,” Jaehyun sighs, releasing you. “You can head in first, I’ll give it a minute before following.”
You can’t help but give him one final kiss, a kiss that lingers before you tear yourself away, brushing past him to enter the warmth of the house again.
Jeno is still standing in the kitchen, and you hold out a Corona as you approach. “Here.”
“Can I ask you something?” Jeno watches you add a few more beers to the fridge.
“Of course.”
“When you said your love life is complicated… it’s Jae, isn’t it?”
Your skin tingles as you close the fridge, turning to match Jeno’s gaze. “I uh-” You swallow thickly, looking around to make sure no one is listening before you lean in closer to the lacrosse player. “Was it that obvious?”
“No… and also sort of. There were signs, like, the way he just followed you outside, but I actually asked a friend about you,” Jeno admits.
“A friend?”
“Yeah, I uh, went to lacrosse summer camp with this dude for a few years, turns out he’s a pledge in Jaehyun’s frat. He confirmed things.”
“Which pledge?”
“Promise he won’t get in trouble?” Jeno laughs.
“Cross my heart.”
“His name is Jaemin. He says you and Jaehyun have been a thing since the start of the year. He said it seemed pretty serious.” Jeno studies your face, and you’re not sure what he’s really looking for from you in regard to a response. “I guess… I guess I’m just wondering why you two aren’t open about it here, or at least, why you aren’t as open about it as you seem to be at the frats.”
“He’s my best friend’s brother,” you say quietly.
“You really think Nari would care about something like this?” Jeno asks.
“She’s very… competitive about my time,” you explain. “And as I said, this is her brother we’re talking about. Their relationship is… complicated”
“Most family dynamics are,” Jeno concedes. “But if you ask me, I don’t think she’d have that big of an issue with it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you sigh, although you’re not sure how well Jeno knows Nari.
“Listen, now that you’ve made it clear you’re into someone else, I’ll leave you alone,” Jeno says finally. “I didn’t mean to step on any toes.”
“You didn't,” you assure him. “How were you supposed to know about Jaehyun? It’s not your fault. No harm, no foul.”
“I mean, I did kiss your cheek, which feels pretty innocent, but looking back now- Jaehyun was totally watching when I did that,” Jeno laughs.
“Okay, maybe there was a little harm,” you admit, joining him with a giggle, “but seriously, don’t worry about it. I’m the one who has to sort this whole Jae thing out, not you.”
“Good luck with it, really.” Jeno reaches out and gently squeezes your shoulder, offering you one more smile before he turns and disappears into the other room.
Nari finds you a short while later, explaining that the Lee cousins had left. She gives you a complete rundown on Mark while the two of you sip wine and giggle by the fireplace. Other people begin to dissipate as the night goes on, and soon, you find yourself heading to the door.
Your best friend gives you a tight hug, and then you catch sight of her brother over her shoulder.
“Leaving already?” he asks.
“I’m pretty tired,” you admit.
“You can’t say goodbye without hugging at least two of the hosts, and seeing as our parents are in the kitchen discussing land equity, I guess that leaves you with me,” Jaehyun grins, holding his arms open for you.
“Jesus, Jae, you’re such a dog,” Nari rolls her eyes.
With a laugh, and a shake of your head, you step into Jaehyun’s embrace, hating how your body reacts to him. You’re aware of Nari standing just a few feet away, but you can’t help the way you lean closer to his ear. “Goodnight, puppy.”
Jaehyun’s body tenses slightly, and you pull out of the hug, offering him a small smile.
“Goodnight, y/n.”
It feels weird to hear him actually call you by your name instead of calling you angel.
You don’t like it, and the feeling sticks with you while you head next door to your own house.
After a quick hello to your mother, and an acknowledgment that your dad is still at the Jeong Christmas Eve party, you go upstairs, ready to go to bed. Only, as soon as you enter your room, your phone begins to ring, and you pull it from your pocket.
“Hey, puppy,” you laugh. “Miss me already?”
“Look out your window.”
Your gaze lifts, heart already picking up speed.
Growing up with Jaehyun’s room directly across from your own had led to a few tense moments in your teens. One day, you’d seen him fresh from a shower, towel low on his hips- but other than a few near-naked moments, you’d done your best not to be a peeping tom. It’s interesting to have him directing you to be nosey, and you approach the window with your phone held tight in your hand.
Jaehyun’s standing in his room, and he waves his fingers at you. “I didn’t think we’d be reduced to this,” he admits, “but fuck it, if this is the only way I can have you tonight, then I guess phone sex is my new best friend.”
“Phone sex, huh?” you laugh.
“You got to cum with me yesterday, but I didn’t, and I’m feeling it, angel.” As if to prove his point, Jaehyun’s free hand slides down his chest to his pants, and he grips his cock through the fabric. “You’re making me crazy.”
“I’m not doing anything, puppy. You’re the one being insatiable. I’m just a good girl in her bedroom while her neighbor watches and touches himself.”
“I shouldn’t be the only one having fun though,” Jaehyun says, and you can hear his breathing getting heavier already while he palms himself through his pants. “How about you lift that stupid fucking reindeer sweater and show me those tits I love so much?”
“Yeah? Is that really what you want, puppy?” You grab the hem of the ugly sweater, slowly lifting it to reveal a strip of your abdomen.
“Fuck, why haven’t we been doing this every night since we got here?” Jaehyun groans, stepping closer to his window to get a better look at you.
“We’ve been busy,” you remind him, allowing the fabric to drop down again. “I’m actually pretty tired-”
“If we don’t do this on the phone, I’ll be forced to come over there, explain to your mother that you’re my evasive little tease of a fuck toy, and rail you in your bedroom.”
The thought makes your pussy throb with desire. “We can’t have that, now can we?”
“So be a good girl, angel, and take off your sweater.”
“Take off yours,” you counter.
Jaehyun doesn’t waste a moment, he tears the fabric off his body, muscles rippling under unblemished skin.
Fuck, you’ve missed him too, but you haven’t allowed yourself to acknowledge just how much you’ve missed him until this very moment.
You follow suit, taking off the ugly Christmas sweater.
“Bra too,” he says, voice husky as his hand returns to his cock.
Unlike Jaehyun, you haven’t mastered the art of removing your bra with one hand, so you put your phone on speaker and set it on the windowsill. You’re slow with your motions, flashing your best friend’s brother a flirty grin as you reach behind your back.
“Fuck-” he groans, watching one strap slip off, then the other. As you drop the bra to the floor, Jaehyun pulls down his pants, and your mouth begins to water at the sight of his cock.
You wish you were closer to him, wish you could see the pretty vein that runs along the underside of his dick-
“I want you in my mouth, puppy,” you admit.
“Angel-” Jaehyun moans, wrapping his hand around his girth.
“Wanna suck you off till you see stars,” you continue, reaching up to grab your breasts, teasing your fingers over your nipples, and letting out a shaky breath.
“I wanna eat you out till your thighs are shaking around my head and you’re squirting all over my tongue.”
You immediately fumble with your pants, pushing them down around your ankles and then your panties too.
“Tell me how wet you are,” Jaehyun commands as you bring your digits to your clit, swiping through your pussy lips to collect the moisture there.
“I’m drenched, puppy, and I’ve been drenched since that kiss we had by the cooler outside.”
“You should’a let me fuck you,” he says smugly.
“Puppy-”
“I know, I know.” You hear him swallow thickly. “Rub your clit for me, and don’t be gentle. I’m way too horny to last- had a wet dream about you last night and I can’t get you out of my head.”
“Tell me about the dream?” you urge, applying pressure to the sensitive bud between your thighs.
“We were back in my room at the frat,” he starts. “No one was gonna bug us. No sisters or pledges. Just you and me. I took my time with you, letting you grind on my thigh in your sweatpants till you were begging for me to get you naked and do whatever I wanted to you.”
“And then?”
“Stripped you, got between your thighs, made you scream, made you cry and drool and say please-” You can see his hand picking up speed on his cock, and your pussy throbs as you work your clit. “Finally gave you my cock, folded you like a fucking pretzel, and gave you everything you wanted.”
You slip a digit into your pussy, releasing a frustrated groan.
“I know that sound, angel. What? Fingers not big enough for you?” Jaehyun laughs.
“Nothing is big enough except your cock,” you whimper, quickly adding a second.
“True, but you’ll still cum for me, right? I wanna watch you cum.”
You bring your second hand to your clit, and the moment you touch it, electric tingles erupt across your skin.
His dirty talk - as well as the fact that you haven’t fucked him in a few days - has you close to the edge already.
“I wanna watch you cum too,” you tell him. “Wish you were cumming inside me though, filling me up just right-”
“Fuck, that perfect fucking pussy squeezing me for all I’m worth-”
“Puppy,” you whimper, feeling your emotions building with your orgasm.
“Yeah, angel, I’m there too- gonna be good and cum with me, right? Gonna let me watch you as you fuck yourself with your fingers wishing it was my cock inside you-”
“Jae-”
“Puppy, call me puppy, angel- fuck,” he groans loudly and the sound goes straight to your core, which pulses around your fingertips.
You can’t hold off any longer, your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. A strangled gasp escapes you, your eyes closing, head falling back as white-hot energy surges through you.
Jaehyun releases his own sound of pleasure, panting hard on the other end of the line. Muffled moans and whimpers ensue as you work yourselves through your highs, your body aching for Jaehyun to be there with you instead of in his room next door.
As your orgasm passes, you slowly come to a stop, opening your eyes again to stare at your best friend’s brother. He’s already wiping away his cum with a tissue, and he flashes you a wink.
In retaliation for the flush that immediately consumes you from such a small act, you take your fingers from your pussy, lifting them to your lips.
“Jesus, angel,” Jaehyun moans, his motions coming to a stop as he watches you.
“Bet you can’t wait to taste me again, puppy.”
“I can still come over.”
“Not a chance in hell.”
“It was worth a shot, though, huh?” he laughs.
“Goodnight, Jaehyun.”
“You don’t wanna stay on call? Maybe Facetime while you fall asleep or something?”
“I’ve gotta shower-”
“Take your phone with you.”
It’s so hard to say no to him, so you don’t.
His eager encouragements and filthy mouth help you cum two more times - once in the shower and once in bed - before you finally pass out while on Facetime with the man who owns your heart.
Eight
Nari knows you well. Better than almost anyone, and because of this, gift-giving with her is always easy. She gets you a box set of your favorite perfume before opening the present you’d gotten for her (skincare from her favorite Korean brand).
As you settle onto her couch afterward, however, you realize just how well she knows you.
“So… what’s going on with you and Jae?”
“Hmm?” You nearly choke on your wine.
“You called him puppy last night.” You stare blankly at her. “As you were leaving. At first, I thought it had to do with me calling him a dog right before that, but… I don’t know, it felt too natural, and he seemed way too happy and smiley afterward.”
“I didn’t uh…” you swallow thickly, “I didn’t realize you’d heard that.”
“I bet you didn’t,” Nari shakes her head knowingly. “The more I thought about it, the more everything seemed to be natural between the two of you. Him helping you with your bags when I picked you up from the airport, him buying us all apple cider at the rink- the way he helped you on the ice. Even the way he hung around while we did our gingerbread houses. There’s something between you two, isn’t there? You guys are too natural together for there not to be something.”
“I mean… he’s your brother-”
“And he’s annoying, and lame, and a loser- but if you can look past all that, well… he’s a good guy at heart. And I’ve always wanted you to end up with a good guy.”
You can’t believe the words coming out of Nari’s mouth.
“There is something,” Nari states after your silence lasts a moment too long.
“Nari, I wanted to tell you-”
“I get why you didn’t, but seriously, fuck that, tell me everything!”
You’re shocked that she’s practically wiggling with excitement. As if this isn’t her older brother you’re talking about.
“What do you want to know?” you ask finally.
“When did it start? How did it start? Is he actually good to you? Does he stalk you on snapmaps?”
Her flurry of questions are almost too much to keep track of, and you set your wine glass down to get your bearings. “He’s good to me,” you admit. “Almost too good- and yeah, he still stalks me on snapmaps.”
“That creep!” Nari laughs. “So he’s like obsessed obsessed.”
“I guess so.” Your skin heats at the admission.
“You know what, I can’t believe I’m saying this but you two are kind of cute together. But, if he breaks your heart, you get me in the divorce and I’ll disown him.”
You giggle at how serious Nari is about this. “Deal.”
As the word leaves your mouth, the back door opens and Jaehyun trudges inside, a bundle of wood in his arms. There’s snow in his pretty dark hair, and his cheeks are pink from the cold. He looks up and flashes you both a smile as he kicks off his boots. “Thought you guys might want to get the fireplace going today so I chopped some provisions.”
All week, you’ve been hiding your affection for this absolute puppy of a man, but you don’t have to do that anymore.
You stand from the couch, smiling warmly at him. “She knows, puppy.”
“She knows?” he repeats, freezing in place. He looks from you to his sister, then back at you again.
A huge smile appears over his face and he drops the firewood, practically running at you, hopping over the couch and nearly whacking Nari in the process only to wrap his arms around you and pull you into a tight hug. He spins you around the Jeong family living room, burying his face in your hair.
“We don’t have to hide anymore!” he yells in your ear.
“No more hiding,” you agree as he sets you down, only to cup your face and kiss you deeply. Your skin flares at the realization that you’re doing this in front of his sister, but Jaehyun doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.
When he breaks away from you, he turns to Nari, grinning triumphantly. “This is my girlfriend!”
“Wait, you two are like, official official?” Nari asks.
“We are now,” Jaehyun states, but he falters, turning to you. “We are, right?”
“Yes, puppy, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you laugh.
He kisses you again, grinning the whole time, and you can’t help but smile as well.
“Fuck, you two are really cute,” Nari groans.
“This is the best Christmas present ever,” Jaehyun announces.
Nari rolls her eyes. “I’m not gifting you my best friend! Jesus, Jaehyun, get a life!”
“She’s my gift, no takebacks,” your puppy boyfriend insists, staring at you with stars in his eyes.
“You know what, we always did say we wanted to be sisters,” Nari sighs. “I guess we can officially welcome you to the Jeong’s now.”
“We’re not getting married-” you protest.
“Not yet, anyways,” Jaehyun quips, earning an elbow to the ribs.
“Yeah! Put him in his place!” Nari cheers.
Jaehyun holds you closer, bringing his lips to your ear. “Does this mean I can take you upstairs and fuck you now?”
“Fucking hell-” Nari squeals, “do neither of you know how to whisper?! I did not need to hear that!”
“Then you should find some headphones, because this one can be kind of loud.” Jaehyun pokes your stomach and you slap his hand away.
“Fine, shit,” Nari rolls her eyes, “look, as your best friend,” her eyes find yours, “I’ll give you half an hour to fuck my brother before I demand you come back downstairs for our usual Christmas festivities, deal?”
Before you can even answer, Jaehyun is throwing you over his shoulder. “Deal!”
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I was feeling in the Christmas spirit, and I thought Jae would be so good for this :)
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🔮 preview. “Oh, we’re a hundred percent fucking at the Jeong family Christmas party. I’ve been needing you since dinner, angel. You won’t make me wait any longer, will you?”
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, deep throating, oral, pussy eating, multiple orgasms, soft/romantic sex, dirty talk, mutual orgasm, praise, quickie, slight exhibitionism (fucking upstairs at a party), I petnames. (hers) angel (his) puppy.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3k I teaser wc. 200
🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader
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“Ya’ll are like a pair of fucking wild animals,” Nari whispers as she takes her seat between you and Jaehyun at the dining table while her parents prepare to bring food from the kitchen for your meal. “You can’t keep your hands off each other for ten minutes to eat a family dinner together- I thought the honeymoon phase was supposed to last a few months and it’s been over a fucking year.”
No one is more shocked than you are that you find yourself at the Jeong house for a second Christmas in a row while still completely enthralled with the oldest Jeong sibling. As supportive as Nari has been, it’s clear she’s salty about her brother getting much of your attention these days, and you can’t say you blame her for that.
This Christmas, you’re spending a week and a half in your hometown, and Jaehyun’s been trying to monopolize on your time with a fire that rivals even his sister’s.
“You don’t have to sit between us, you know,” Jaehyun quips.
“I think the fuck I do,” Nari retorts with a snort. “This is a PG dinner with our parents you whore.”
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What’s left of me?
✩Mattheo Riddle x Reader
Summary: The one where your pursuit for excellence leads you down a path of self destruction, and you’re slowly loosing yourself. You didn’t expect a certain boy in your year would be your saving grace. Alternatively: Mattheo makes you realise you’re more than what you think you are.
A/N: I guess this could very easily be like a prequel to the other mattheo one shot ‘i’m here’. This is definitely a bit self indulgent but we all have our things 😻😻
Warnings: Allusions to overdosing (brief), mentions of not eating.
Songs: Nothings New - Rio Romeo
18 days.
18 days till you would be finished with all of this.
Technically, it would actually be 408 days till you finished school and graduated from this godforsaken place, but 18 more till you finished with exams.
You weren’t sure how many more hours you could spend hunched over indecipherable handwriting, pouring over text till your eyes stung and your back ached. Surrounded by a stack of books and rolls of parchment, you couldn’t even begin to figure out where you ended and the library began. You had taken up a huge table (that could seat at least 4) for the better part of 17 hours, sat on the same chair since 6:00 am.
You stifle a small groan of pain as you roll your wrist, stiff and sore from the hell that was ancient runes.
There are ink splotches all over your skin, and you’re sure the amount of work you were pouring into this stopped being effective nearly 5 hours ago.
Your eyes flicker up and scan over the once-packed library that had slowly dwindled down to a few students, half of whom were in the same boat as you.
To you, being the last person in the library was a huge sign of success. It meant you were more dedicated and more hard-working.
In reality, the truth couldn’t be any further from that, but in your mind, if you weren’t milking yourself over every last piece of work it simply wasn’t being done right.
The hushed murmurs and sounds of parchment being unfurled fade into the background as your quill scratches furiously against the parchment, mind running at a million miles an hour.
You ignore the pang in your stomach as you work; you haven’t eaten today. You didn’t want to get up at any point to get food, for fear of your place being taken.
Now, you didn’t want to get up for another reason. It was well past the library's open hours and Madame Pince was angrily fussing about, bustling around everyone as she got them to leave. A testament to how long you had been there, she didn’t even seem to notice you, and you were worried getting up and walking about would break this sort of invisibility shield you had going on.
Come to think of it, you hadn’t really drunk any water either. You brought your bottle with you but had forgotten to fill it up. It was fine though, the human body could last for 3 days without water - it could wait. Your upcoming exams were far more important.
In Scandinavia, the Elder Futhark remained in use until some time around the eighth century (the time of the Eddas), when drastic changes in the Old Norse language occurred, and corresponding changes in the runic alphabet were made to accommodate the new sounds. However, unlike the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc, the Younger Futhark (as it is now called) reduced the number of runes from 24 to 16, and several runes came to represent multiple sounds. The forms of the runes were also changed and simplified.
Gods, you couldn't take this anymore. You felt sick and exhausted. You ignore the hunger that gnaws at your stomach, rubbing a hand over your face as you contemplate finishing off and going to bed.
But every time you think of stopping a horrible feeling emerges in your stomach, consuming you with anxiety. The weight of impending exams and the fear of not doing well gnawing at your determination. You glance at the clock, realizing it's well past midnight, and the library is now completely empty except for you.
Madame Pince, finally noticing your presence, approaches with a disapproving look. "You know, the library does close at a certain hour. I can't have students staying here all night," she scolds, but her tone softens as she sees the exhaustion in your eyes.
“Sorry. I lost track of time” You mumble, haphazardly cramming your stuff into your bag. You get up, and the room spins for a second. You stumble but manage to catch yourself, holding onto the table as Madam Pince reaches out a hand to help you recover.
“You need to take care of yourself. No exam is worth this much stress,” She says, eyeing you with concern. If only she knew how far that was from the truth. You felt as though you had so little to your name. Performing well, overachieing. That was what you were known for. It was the only thing you felt was yours. Everyone else had character, they were distinctly themselves. They had hobbies, interests, and friendships that defined them. But for you, it was always about excelling academically. Without that, you became nobody. You were no more than the number on your papers, and the reminder weighed down on you like an unrelenting burden.
By some miracle you manage to stumble down the empty halls of the castle into the Slytherin common room, which seemed paradoxically warm considering its grandiose stone structure and dark, moody lighting. You carelessly drop your bag onto a table closest to the fireplace, trudging up to your room as you battle the sleep that threatens to consume you.
It's dark, and your roommates have long gone to bed.
“Lumos” You murmur, hiding the blinding light that emerges from the tip of your wand with the lining of your school robes, dimming it slightly. You grope blindly at your bedside drawer, stopping when you feel the familiar smooth glass bottle, that fits perfectly in your palm. You slip it into the pocket of your robes, slowly shutting the drawer as you make your way back down to the common room. You dismiss the light that shines from your wand, tossing it onto the sofa as you take a seat on the floor, in front of the low table. You read the instructions on the back of the small bottle as if you hadn’t been consuming this religiously for the past month.
Wideye potion User Guidance:
Take no more than one teaspoon every 6 hours. Effects will last for up to 8 hours. Excessive use of this potion may lead to adverse effects, and in rare cases, severe bodily harm. Users are advised not to use the maximum dosage for a consecutive 72 hours.
You’ve read it so many times, you were sure you could recite it by heart. Choosing not to heed any warnings, you pop open the cork and down the whole bottle in one go. The rancid taste of the potion burns, eliciting a shudder down your spine as you swallow down the bile that threatens to emerge. Pocketing the empty glass bottle, you stretch your arms before retrieving your books, ready to continue working.
If you were lucky, the potion might give you a boost of energy for about 3 hours or so. You had been taking it so much you had developed a sort of immunity to it, and the effects were not as potent as they used to be. The sacrifice of your well-being for the sake of productivity had become a routine, a desperate attempt to squeeze every ounce of time and focus out of your exhausted mind and body.
You have attempted to brew a stronger concoction, in the misplaced hopes that increasing the potency would counteract the effect of the immunity. However, the violent cramps and palpitations it had given you very quickly told you that wouldn't work.
You knew it was bad. It was causing irreversible damage to your body, killing you at worst. It simply wasn't sustainable. But you couldn't drag yourself out of that mindset.
Failure. Nobody.
You gritted your teeth and carried on working.
You managed to get through another potions essay, and the time on your watch read 1:00 am.
You could carry on for longer, right?
You zone out for a second, staring off at the orange embers that emerged from the fireplace, shining bright for what seemed like a millisecond before falling to the floor, turning into nothing but ash.
The orange embers flicker, and for a moment, you see yourself in them – a fleeting brightness that threatens to be extinguished. The battle between ambition and self-preservation rages on as you grit your teeth and carry on working, oblivious to the embers slowly falling into nothingness, much like your own fading sense of self.
“Why on earth are you up at this hour doing work?” A voice calls from behind you, and the momentary intrusion shocks you, sending a burst of energy through you as you spin around.
Flopping down onto the sofa next to you, leaning back with his legs lazily outstretched, was none other than Mattheo Riddle. Clad in a plain grey sweatshirt and black jeans, he eyes you with curiosity, smelling distinctively of smoke. He had most likely been out, as he so usually was at this hour. You shrug, turning back to your work.
“Exams. Need to revise” You mumble, voice cracking. You swallow, massaging your dry throat as you grimace, trying to get back to your writing.
“Revise? Merlin, you're the smartest person in our year. You don't need to be revising” Matthep leans forward, plucking a piece of parchment from your pile and examining it with a raised eyebrow.
You snatch it back, a protective instinct kicking in despite the fatigue. You hated that sentiment. Despised it, even. People always assumed your performance came naturally. That you were simply born with the ability to do well. No one seemed to consider what you had to do to get to that point, how you wore yourself down, day in and day out, till you either passed out from exhaustion or pain, neglecting your most basic needs.
"I might be the 'smartest' person, but that doesn't mean I can afford to slack off," you reply, a hint of frustration in your voice. The adrenaline from the sudden interruption starts to ebb away, leaving you feeling even more drained.
Mattheo leans back, momentarily caught off guard by your defensiveness. He had never seen you this on edge. He was so accustomed to seeing you as this familiar presence during the school day his partner for the many lessons that he didn’t have his friends in. The two of you would work together and on rare occasions, hang out with one another in the common room as well. It was a rather unlikely duo, the king of Slytherin and the academic prodigy. Yet, More often than not Mattheo found himself seeking out your presence. He never admitted it outright, but he hugely admired you. Your intelligence, your drive, it all captivated him. There were times when he hoped he could be only half the person you were.
How funny it was, for you felt the very same thing when you saw him. He seemed content. Happy. He was loved by nearly everyone. Popular, with a fun social life. He had everything you wanted without putting in any of the work.
You wanted to be like him. But you weren’t. And if you wanted anything like what he had, you had to work damn hard for it. So that's what you did. With a small sigh, you turn back to your work.
“Hey,” He says gently, his voice softening slightly. "I’m sorry. I say stupid things sometimes.” He apologies, brows furrowed as he looks at your back facing him.
“It's fine. I should be saying sorry. You didn't say anything, I just…. I’m just a bit tired, that's all.” You mumble, apologising as you get up. You stretch, a yawn escaping your lips as you wearily rub your eyes.
“I'm gonna run up to my room and grab some more parchment. I’ll be down in a second,” You say, shrugging off your school robe as you turn to walk away. You ascend the stairs leading to your dorm, tossing your robe onto the sofa next to Mattheo as you do so.
Your robe slides off the sofa and hits the floor, a faint clinking sound echoing through the empty room as you disappear.
Curious, Mattheo looks down at your carelessly discarded robe. He reaches down, picking it up. It weighs heavier than it should be, and Mattheo can't help but feel a twinge of curiosity, He eyes the now empty staircase before reaching into your pocket, fingers brushing against a smooth glass vial.
Not just one, but a few.
Frowning, he turns out your pocket, and four identical glass vials tumble into his lap. Picking one up, his frown only deepens as he reads the label.
“Wideye potion?” He mutters to himself, the confusion on his face morphing into something else as the pieces fit in place.
He had admired you for your intelligence and drive, and now he was confronted with the reality of your struggles. The contrast between your achievements and the seemingly carefree moments he sought with you becomes stark. He berates himself for not having noticed early, for having let you fall down such a destructive path.
Jaw clenched, he gazes at the piles of books you had been working through, rolling the empty vials between his fingers as the sound of your approaching footsteps snaps him out of his thoughts.
You pause in confusion, noticing the scrutinising depression plastered on his face as he looks up at you, rolls of parchment bundled in your hands.
"What's the Wideye potion for?" Mattheo questions, his voice cutting through the silence with an uncomfortable heaviness. He holds up the empty vials as evidence, his gaze piercing through the exhaustion in your eyes.
Caught off guard by the confrontation, you glance down at the vials and then meet Mattheo's eyes. A brief moment of silence hangs in the air, the crackling embers of the fireplace filling the empty silence.
“Research. For uh, potions.” You respond, internally berating yourself for coming up with such a weak excuse.
Mattheo's expression remains stern, a mix of frustration and genuine concern etched on his face.
"Don't bullshit me," he says, his tone direct and uncompromising. "I found these in your pocket, and 'potions research' is a shit excuse. I’m going to ask you again. What’s the wideye potion for?"
You shift uncomfortably, feeling small under his scrutinising gaze You clear your throat, speaking.
"It's just to stay awake, you know? To keep going. I only take it in extreme circumstances" you explain, your voice betraying the exhaustion that has settled in.
Mattheos jaw clenches, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he looks to the side with a sigh, visibly frustrated.
“Extreme? And what would that be, hmm? Because right now I'm looking at four empty bottles, and God knows how many more you’ve thrown away.” He snaps, his expression softening as he looks at you.
You feel a lump forming in your throat as you struggle to find the right words. Why on earth were you close to tears? Why did you feel like crying?
“I-” You start, trailing off as you stare at the floor.
Mattheo cuts through the silence, his tone still stern but laced with concern. "This isn't okay. You're smart, and you know better. You can't keep doing this to yourself. What if something happens? What if you collapse or get seriously sick? It's not worth it."
After a moment, Mattheo's expression softens, and he exhales deeply. "When was the last time you ate?" he asks, the concern evident in his voice.
Shit.
You pause, hesitating before admitting quietly, "Breakfast...yesterday."
Mattheo's features tighten at your admission, his eyes reflecting a mixture of frustration, anger, and genuine worry. He rises from his seat and strides towards you, his footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent room.
"Yesterday? Are you serious?" he says sharply, his voice carrying a weight of both concern and disbelief.
You remain silent, unable to meet his eyes, feeling the shame and vulnerability washing over you.
“Seriously? Fuck, what’s wrong with you? Why would you do that to yourself?” He chastises you, and you snap.
“I have to! You don't fucking get it, do you? I don't have anything else to fall back on.” You start, dropping the parchment onto the table in front of you.
Mattheo's expression shifts from concern to confusion as you lash out. "What are you talking about? You have plenty more than just academics. You're talented, you're smart, and people care about you. Why are you reducing yourself to just grades?"
You scoff, a bitter smile playing on your lips. "Talented? Smart? What does that even mean? It's just a facade, a cover-up for the fact that without these achievements, I'm nothing. I don't have friends; I don't have hobbies or interests. What am I without my grades?"
Mattheo tries to interject, "You're a person with-"
But you cut him off, "No, you don't get it! I'm just a number, a ranking, a test score. Everything I am is tied to how well I perform academically. Do you know what it's like to feel like the only thing you're good at is studying, and even that's slipping away?" You snap anger evident in your tone as you spin around to face him, your weary eyes meeting his.
“It’s the same thing every single day. I wake up, bury myself in books, and push myself to the brink just to feel like I matter. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't talk to anyone. I’ve spent my whole life isolating myself and neglecting my most basic needs for this! If I stop now, then what's left of me?”
Tears start to well up in your eyes, and you hate yourself for showing such vulnerability. Mattheo's stern demeanour softens as he watches you unravel.
"I can't stop, Mattheo. I can't afford to. Because if I do, what's left of me?" Your voice trembles.
Mattheo's heart drops at your words, guilt and hurt clawing at his insides. He can’t fathom the idea of you suffering so much, and him being blind to it. How could you not notice how incredible of a person you are beyond all of this? He’d give anything in the world for you to see yourself through his eyes. For you to feel the way he feels when he's with you, even for a second. To know that he’d do anything you asked him to because he cared for you. Not the one who gets outstanding on all their tests.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mattheo finally speaks, his voice softer, genuine concern written across his face.
You shake your head, a mix of frustration and desperation in your eyes. “Because you wouldn’t understand. No one does. They just see the grades, the perfect student. They don’t see the mess behind it all. And I can’t let them. I can’t let anyone see me like this.”
Mattheo moves closer, his expression shifting. “You’re wrong. I do understand. Maybe not completely, but I want to. You don’t have to face this alone.”
You scoff, wiping away a tear. “Why? What do you care? You have everything, popularity, friends, a life. I’m just the study partner, the smart one. I can’t burden you with this.”
Mattheo remains silent for a second, before he speaks.
“Every other Sunday, you go down to Hogsmesde and buy a hamper of sweets form Honeydukes. You take it to the children’s school and volunteer there for an hour. Everytime you visit, you make their day.” He starts.
"You're not just grades," he says, his voice gentle. "You have quirks that make you who you are. Like the way you absentmindedly tap your foot when you're deep in thought. Or how you always carry a small notebook, and I bet it's filled with more than just class notes. I've seen you doodle in the margins."
He continues, "You have a wicked sense of humor, even if you don't show it to everyone. I've heard you snort-laugh during our study sessions. And don't even get me started on your taste in music.How you call that dastardly jazz music, i’ll never understand, but you can’t resist humming along to the tunes of the Wizarding Wireless Network when you're studying. Your fondness for Chocolate Frogs and your inexplicable aversion to pumpkin juice.”
Mattheo's eyes light up, a small smile tugging at his lips as he recalls more details. "Remember that time in Charms class when you made your quill dance across the room just to see if you could do it? Or when you brewed a prank potion that turned the water in the Prefects' bathroom blue for a week? You have a mischievous side that not many people get to see." He continues, looking down at you sincerely. He remains silent for a second, eyes scanning over your face before he steps back, sighing.
“I don’t know how to do this emotional, sappy bullshit. I don’t do it. But with you, I do. I want to. Other people want to. That’s what you do.” He says, voice quiet.
You remain rooted to your spot, somewhere between disbelief and gratitude as you stare up at Mattheo. How did he know all that? Why did he know all that?
“You noticed?” You speak up, voice alarmingly quiet.
He looks at you as though you’ve just asked him whether the sky is blue.
“Of course i’ve noticed. It’s impossible not to.” He murmurs, and you know he’s being honest.
Tears prick in your eyes again, and it’s as though all that exhaustion and neglect has come crashing back down on you tenfold after Mattheo had called you out. You try blink them away but alas, you simply couldn’t. Before you can even say anything, Mattheo steps forward, pulling you into his chest as he wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace. He holds you tightly, not even entertaining the thought of letting go as your tears soak his sweatshirt, tentatively accepting his embrace. His heart clenches at every tear that falls from your eyes, and he can’t tell if he’s horrified or accepting of the fact that he’d give up everything to relieve you of your burdens, even if only for a day.
He rubs your back soothingly, and you can’t help but let it all out.
It’s rather cathartic, really, because you've held onto this weight for so long, and now, in Mattheo's arms, it feels like a moment of release.
As your tears eventually subside, you pull back, both embarrassed and utterly shattered. You look down, sniffling as you wipe away your tear stained eyes when Mattheo hooks a finger under your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.
People often said that the eyes were a window to the soul. You never really understood that, but in this moment, you felt as though you were gazing into the very depths of Mattheos being.
With a tenderness that betrays the boundaries of ‘just friends’ , he wipes away your tears with his thumb, looking down at you.
“Come on. Let’s get you up to rest, yeah?” He hums, quietly. You nod, having to tear yourself away from his touch.
He leans down to pack away your stuff, not letting you handle a thing as he throws your stuff over his shoulder.
“You can stay in my room, if you’d like. Theodore’s out for the night so I can take his bed.” Mattheo says.
You consider it for a second. You didn’t particularly fancy heading up to your room with Mattheo, for fear of your roommate awakening to see you in such a state. You nod, speaking.
“Yes please.” You say, voice embarrassingly hoarse from having cried so much. You pray Mattheo didn’t notice.
Of course he did. But, he chose not to draw attention to it, instead resolving to run down to the kitchen to get you a cup of tea.
You follow Mattheo into his room, which you were no stranger to. Having projects together meant endless hours of collaborating, and opting to avoid being pestered by your roommate and her friends (who had a rather amusing infatuation with Mattheo), you worked in his room instead.
“Help yourself to some clothes if you’d like. They’re on the right.” He says, carefully draping your school bag and robe onto one of the desks. You thank him, smiling softly as he cleans the mess he had left.
“Go lie down. I’ll be back in a second” He says, turning away as he exits his room. Swiftly walking down to the kitchen, his head is reeling with thoughts of you.
He chose not to confront the feeling gnawing at him in light of your breakdown. He didn’t want to deal with that just yet. In no less than 10 minutes he’s carefully treading up the stairs to the dorms once more, a cup of chamomile tea in one hand and some small crackers in the other.
You hadn’t been eating, nor drinking, and the idea of you neglecting yourself so much sent Mattheo into an uncomfortable state where he found himself riddled with anxiety.
Just friends, right?
He clicks open the door to his room with his elbow, precariously walking over with the tea and crackers in hand as he goes to set them down on his bedside table. His eyes flicker over to you, and a small smile tugs at his lips as he sees you already fast asleep, curled up under the covers. The sight of your slumber brings a warmth to Mattheo's heart. He watches you for a moment, taking in the soft rise and fall of your breath, the delicate features that are usually tense with stress now softened in sleep.
The sight brings him more peace than he wishes to admit, and the looming reality that he had to eventually confront only pressed down on him further.
But for now, he didn’t care.
Because in your peace, he found happiness. And he’s sure he’d never find anything else more beautiful.
Possessed by a wave of sentiment that betrays his usual self, he can’t resist reaching out to tuck a stand of misplaced hair behind your ear. Before he can even comprehend what he’s doing, he leans down and presses a soft , brief kiss to your forehead.
He pulls back and finds himself slightly taken aback by his own actions. The quiet room, filled only with the soft sounds of your sleep, almost seems to amplify the beating of his heart.
Mattheo stands there for a moment, looking at you with a mix of tenderness and confusion. Then, shaking off the unexpected surge of emotions, he retreats to Theodores bed , slipping out of his clothes as he goes to lay down. He had to resist the urge to turn around and catch a glimpse of you once again, and lets out a small sigh as he shuts his eyes.
Mattheo Riddle was not a man of sentiment. He was not soft, and he most certainly did not go out of his way for others.
You had changed that. And he couldn’t figure out whether the prospect was one he was ready to welcome.
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