#with mac? truly crazy that maybe if mac hadn’t said he was in love with johnny dennis might never have told him the truth

[gregmarriage]

always sunny was actually soooo sick for having dee tell mac that he should get a boyfriend (while glancing at dennis)

then, literally the NEXT season, mac has a boyfriend and it’s DENNIS.

except, it’s dennis posing as someone else, and getting jealous of HIMSELF. truly incredible television fr

[letsperaltiago]

we'll turn this better thing to the best

HAPPY MAY 15TH, EVERYONE!

Prompt #57: "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"

This is just me not being able to resist writing something about Jake and Amy celebrating (or trying to) their 3rd anniversary as a married couple. This is also me, yet again, beating around that smut-bush, huh??:))

Or 

Jake and Amy try to have a sexy anniversary-morning, but Mac Santiago-Peralta has other plans 

Read here or on ao3!

Nothing could ever come close to beating, even marginally, waking up to Jake Peralta already having his arms around middle in the lulling position that was spooning the length of her body like a perfectly fitting puzzle piece: a leg nudge in between hers while the other wrapped around them and his fingers mindlessly playing with the hem of her shirt. 

The appreciation for the current state they were in was especially appreciated and heartwarming when it was taken into consideration that there’d been multiple, horrible parts of their timeline where he hadn’t been around to do so.

Everything from the sudden chaos of being sent into WitSec with Holt to him and Rosa being falsely convicted were periods they both tried to not think of and dwell on. But of course, given the powerfull impression these times in their lives had made on them, it was sometimes hard not to compare; hard not to feel that much better simply because Jake was around and not taken from her anymore. They always made sure to appreciate the other, even during eventual fights or disagreement, and if they had to say one “positive” thing about the involuntary distance WitSec and prison had forced upon them it was that it had definitely only made them grow even fonder and stronger.

So this year, another year of waking up in his arms on what she knew was an extra special day, she obviously felt crazy butterflies zooming around her belly and snuggled back closer into his hold on her with still closed eyes and a tiny content smile on her face.

This year’s anniversary had to be enjoyed for its small, tiniest moments, she knew. There was no time nor energy, they’d agreed, for grand gestures and outings when this May 15th all at once held the same special sentiment as previous year yet also a completely new range of feelings.

Today, for the past three years, May 15th had been a special date which held a dear place in both Jake and Amy’s hearts as it reminded them of the day that sealed their love for eternity. Although this year, their third anniversary, May 15th 2021 to be exact, was simply a tiny bit more special than usual: this year they weren't just the two of them - this year they had a teeny tiny son and he was as soft and sweet as he was time-craving and a tiny character of his own. Especially on a day like today, filled with an extra dash of love and reflecting upon the past, life before Mac seemed vaguely blurred: not in a bad way per se, just not as perfectly chaotic and wonderful as now that Mac Peralta was around.

Amy, still somewhat half-sleeping, quietly relished in her husband’s affectionate embrace and in the thought of having her entire world, Jake and baby-Mac, within the four walls of her home on a special day like this, but nonetheless also made sure to give some extra appreciation to the fact that Mac had been sleeping since she last fed him before bed last night. Considering the intense teething period he was currently going through that was truly a miracle she did not dare to fully believe in, but perhaps, just maybe, her little one could sense that it was mommy and daddy’s day today.

The feeling of her husband switching a bit in his spot against her back paired with a pleased sigh caught her attention hinting at the fact that he was surely somewhat awake, and though Amy wanted him to enjoy the tiny amount of sleeping in Mac they were currently offered, she also happened to crave his woken presence, deep brown eyes and loving smile.

“Happy 3 years of childish, distracting marriage…” as if on cue, having read her thoughts, Jake mumbled tiredly into the back of her head before reposition himself closer to have his head rest in the crook between her shoulder and neck nuzzling his nose tiredly into the side of her face.

Gosh, she loved him so much it still, even after 6 years together, came crashing down on her like a huge wave of giddiness and first date-feelings. She smiled to herself at his congratulations. “Dito. It’s been 3 great ones, huh?”

“It has..,” He yawned loudly, “… Especially when our son decides to sleep in like this.”

“Especially then, yes,” she huffed out a small laugh sharing the sentiment even though the fact that her baby very rarely needed night feeds anymore also meant he was growing up - too fast, if you asked her. Her barely 7-month old was wonderful and both parents had the time of their lives watching him grow up. Yet it was no lie that from time to time it’d hit Amy just how fast, almost by the day, her son grew, learned a new skill and became more of a an actual person. Sometimes even to an extent where it’d overwhelm her leaving her feeling borderline… sad? Even though it had been exhausting for the first few months, and still was from time to time, she also now kinda missed the little things like the ritual of breast-feeding. She loved sleep but loved the primal, instinctual feeling of nursing her son, even more the closeness that came with it, more.

“What time is it?”

Jake’s groggy voice snapped her out of her tumbling train of thoughts and forcing her to open her eyes to check the clock on her night stand.

“6 AM which means-“

Jake knew what his wife was about to say, but beat her to it and changed then and there somewhat narrative of their morning.

“Mac should be waking up anytime soon, I know but, babe, let him stay in bed till he asks to be picked up… Perhaps this is the morning we get lucky?”

Amy wanted to question what exactly that was supposed to mean but he beat her to it an said question was quickly answered by her husband’s warm lips sending thrills down her spine with the way they gently placed small, tender pecks to where his head had previously rested. Immediately she felt her body perk up in reaction to this and the heavy, tired feeling from before was gone within a matter of pecks. Alas, in the back of her mind, Amy knew and was still somewhat aware of three things:

One: where she wanted this to go

Two: where this could take them

Three: where her son was sleeping just 20 feet from their bed

“Jake,” the full-on whine that came out of her as provoked directly by his kisses was ascribable to two facts:

Firstly that, yes, she of course reacted by the book to her husband’s touches. But also, secondly, and if not more realistically, the fact that their sex-life had definitely simmered down for the past months - that’s what having a baby will do to you - and that it really didn’t take much for either of them, even less than before, to get foolishly, easily impassioned by the other’s intimate cues. One kiss, just a bit deeper than the casual peck, was apparently enough to throw all sense of control out the window.

If they used to be turned on by the other as effortlessly as faucets then they could now definitely be compared to gardens hoses playfully twisted by a kid’s hand as to block the water surge: bu with one move, the letting go of the hose, the water flow would pick right up where it’d been blocked within a matter of milliseconds and there was no stopping the powerful rush.

By then his hands, having previously rested on the soft remains of her baby bump that she tended to feel insecure about but he, on the other hand absolutely loved, had moved up under her night shirt only to continue to her breasts which definitely didn’t help her stay cool in the moment.

“Babe… ” she whined again even though she also definitely did not put  up her strongest fight: she loved nursing her son, and although the two matters were far from comparable, she would also be the last one to complain about Jake benefiting from her breast in… other ways.

“… Mac is in the room.”

“We can be quiet,” his pecks had evolved into love bites and passionate suckles the minute his hands made their way under her shirt, and by now it seemed like they’d reached the point of no return - sleeping baby son only feet away and all.

“You know we can’t,” she breathed heavily voicing her gradual subjection to the development of the moment while simultaneously trying to stay aware of her surroundings. Alas in vain and only to come to terms with having miserably, doubtlessly failed the second Jake managed to flip her to her other side thus enabling him to push her onto her back and using his weight kiss her even more deeply than before.

“Well…” he chuckled allowing himself a short break from her lips to speak although, obsessed and addicted, making sure to pick up where he left up as soon as his talking allowed a natural pause.

“… Either that or we’ll have to explain to our baby son why mommy and daddy were making weird noises in bed.”

“Jake!” she exclaimed at this statement, the hypothetical scenarios in her head getting too real, causing Jake to react right away by pulling away using his arms to hover his weight over her thus allowing her some space and them to look get a proper look at each other.

Suddenly his before aroused expression was replaced by a note of concern in both his eyes and voice. “I’m so sorry! We can totally stop if you don’t want to go any further. I didn’t mean to cross a line.”

Amy herself paused momentarily, mostly out of surprise since their mutual consent, after having been in a relationship so long, was rarely explicitly verbalised: generally being very attentive of the other during sex and knowing the other’s body and signals so well they could easily tell when to stop and when to move forward. Unless they were straight up experimenting and treading unknown land, their intimate moments had rarely to never caused this kind of sudden halts. So seeing this extra considerate side of her husband, although she never doubted that it was there to make her feel safe, made her heart flutter momentarily reminding her of the feeling of Mac’s tiny kicks inside her womb months ago.

“Hey, don’t worry,” she reassured him by reaching up to run her fingers through his curls aka. an attribute of Jake’s which their son (to her very immense satisfaction) had inherited. “I know you meant well and I didn’t mean to proclaim like that,” she made sure to throw on her warmest smile and eyes to reassure him. “I was just being weary of Mac, but I think I need to allow myself some…not very mommy-like pleasure.”

He smiled letting her speak out.

“Also I just, like completely out of nowhere, remembered reading this article pointing out that babies this young won’t actually… ” she tried to form her point in her mind whilst her husband looked at her with an amused smile on his face “… like, they won’t be affected by it so, I guess we could…”

How come she all of the sudden, as a woman in her late 30s, suddenly felt like a silly teenager when talking about something as natural to them as sex?

“Honey,” he disrupted her internal spiralling running a hand through her hair the way she’d so lovingly done just seconds ago. He trailed and picked at it where was spread out across her pillow with his fingers as his amused grin took on a more comforting nature. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, okay? Today’s date, and the fact that your butt will forever be the bomb, just got me caught up in the moment. But I totally get it if you feel weird doing anything with Mac around and you shouldn’t have to compromise that - even for me. It’s more than okay,” he lowered himself to peck her forehead before refocusing on her face and what she was about to say.

And how she loved him even more for always taking into consideration her feelings and reactions, even after 6 years together, but something about his strong arms flexing under his weight on either side of her head, his ruffled-up curls and already saturated, glowing even, pink lips made something in the back of her mind click. She quickly did the math in her head:

Mac was still an infant lacking anything near the ability to understand the nature of the sounds his parents were making and the concept of sex. He was feet away, safe in his crib with no direct outlook on them, and all of this was not even taking into consideration that he was still fast asleep. It was now or never - or so it felt like.

“Jacob Santiago-Peralta,” her eyes suddenly switched to a shade of dark, almost black, brown Jake hadn’t seen in quite a while immediately causing more than just his eyes to bulge. “We’re definitely inaugurating our third year as a married couple and we’re doing it now.”

And seeing a more than convincing look on his wife’s face Jake didn’t have to be told twice before crashing their lips together, resuming him repositioning himself between his wife’s thighs to give her sacred body, the one that carried their son for 9 months, the love it so very much and rightfully deserved.

Within minutes the very limited pieces of clothing they slept in were discarded, thrown carelessly onto the bedroom floor as if they were discovering each other for the first time, and after a reasonable amount of foreplay (mostly timewise since Mac waking up was just a matter of minutes) Jake painted a trail of sloppy kisses along his wife’s sleek collarbone as he, after a lot of shifting and moving around during preceding sexy actives, repositioned himself one last time.

Under the weight and spell of his naked body, physically and metaphorically,  Amy was desperately writhing having thrown all sense of control and modesty out the window a long time ago and grasped onto his upper back in a demand for more and an urge she’d put aside so many times these past months for the sake of dedication to being a mother.

“God, please don’t laugh at me when I definitely, ‘cause I will, finish within 5 minutes,” she finished her sentence with a moan as he bit down on the skin spurring her collar bones. Perhaps 5 minutes was even an optimistic exaggeration when her body already felt on the urge of exploding and he hadn’t even entered her yet.

She could tell her very honest comment earned her a soft chuckle, but she was too far gone and caught up in a whirlwind of pleasure to care plus, even if it would only last minutes, she just needed her husband inside of her now.

“5 minutes sound incredible, Ames,” he breathed out frankly not even minding the fact that their before very vigorous stamina had definitely gone downhill since having Mac. Instead he simply appreciated his favorite feeling in the world which, since the day he got to feel it for the first time, was the one of Amy Santiago wrapped around him.

Though he would never give it up permanently for anything in the world, even incredible sex with his incredible wife, he was just as excited as her to slip out of his father-role for what would probably end up being just a matter of 20 minutes in total or so. He was breathing heavily, growling, as he redirected his lips to hers where he hoped to, although the method had been proven faulty before, quell her upcoming sounds of pleasure.

“I love you,” she claimed out of breath bracing herself for the wonderful stretch she knew was approaching by the second.

“Love you too,” he sloppily replied between kisses. “So much,” was added in closing of the exchange of words of love as he braced and steadied himself for the initial thrust.

Then, planted so horribly perfectly that they could’ve sworn they were taking part in a movie, a cry cut through the thick intimate tension without delay bursting the bubble Jake and Amy had formed around themselves in the heat of the moment.

Becoming a parent came with the incredible ability to completely switch your focus within matter of seconds and thus react to whatever need your baby called out for. Right then and there was a perfect example, and though picking up where they’d come to, which was so close, seemed dangerously tempting they both knew there was no way they were actually going there.

They were a married couple wanting to celebrate each other and their love, yes, but first and foremost, even more importantly, they were parents.

Jake carefully bent his arms not needing the leverage anymore and lowered himself onto his wife before rolling onto his back besides her. Both started blankly into the air for second, almost unknowingly recreating the scene after their first time together, not saying anything but burning with repressed lust on the inside.

Then they broke into a collective chuckle.

Amy turned onto her side to look at her husband’s profile, taking it in before he imitated her action and they were left staring into each other’s eyes with knowing, amused expressions.

This was really their life now and though not always as easy as being “just married” it was definitely the life they’d always wished for and felt blessed to have. The irony of it all which existed in the clash between their love and physical yearning for each other, and their shared responsibility and love for their son, interruptions considered, was all at once humorous and tragic. But even then they had no doubt in their minds: their love for each other was unbreakable and celebrating their three years of marriage with their so very loved son interrupting much needed sex was still collectively considered somewhat perfect.

Nothing could ever take away the melting feeling she still got whenever Jake looked at her like he did now, so calm and in love, and knowing he now also shared that look with their son still reminded her of a surreal, perfect dream. He had so much love for the both of them: so much that she was sometimes convinced of the fact that it couldn’t be real. But then times like these reminded her of the fact that it was indeed very much so and that she would marry him all over again if she was given the chance.

The fussy sounds coming from the crib increased by the second and Jake knew that the second either of them decided to get up for their son, which would be sooner than later, this tiny bubble of an amorous moment would be gone. And so he decided to just go with what felt appropriate because, really and truly, looking at her right now he felt as if he could marry her all over again.

“I know our baby is screaming for attention, and that he needs it more than me and that this is probably a bad time but… marry me?” He smiled widely running a hand through her tousled hair earning him a just as wide smile of appreciation and adoration back.

She leaned in and offered him a kiss, long and tender but controlled as she knew she’d have to get up now. Managing to not get caught up she pulled back caressing his cheek with the hand that allowed him to feel the soft stroke of her wedding band and engagement ring.

“First I’m going to go get our son, but then…” she leaned in and gave his lips a final peck, this time withdrawing just enough to look at him but still have their noses touch before finishing what she’d started, “… Yes, I will marry you all over again, as many times as you want, every day, week, month and year, for eternity and beyond, Jake Peralta.”

[nellie-elizabeth]

Outlander: Monsters and Heroes (5x09)

This episode was chalk-full of so many adorable character moments!

Cons:

The main thing that got short shrift here was the killing of the buffalo. I don't care if the details are changed - I don't really remember the exact way it went down in the book anyway. What mostly annoyed me was that I didn't get a sense of what a big deal it really was, for them to snag a buffalo kill. Other things are going on - Jamie is on the verge of death, Marsali is having her baby... but I remember in the book, it was a huge deal that they managed to kill a buffalo. It could feed so many people. I wish that moment hadn't felt so out of the blue. It was disconnected from the rest of the story in a way that felt very... episodic? And sometimes that's how the story is, but it might have been better to either keep this part out, or shift it to another moment so we could give it the full narrative weight it deserves.

I understand tightening the pacing in order to create drama, but I was a little annoyed at Brianna running in at the very last possible second with her syringe, preventing Claire from amputating Jamie's leg. I never got the sense from reading the same part in the book that it was such a stark either/or situation here. Basically, if I recall correctly, Claire essentially opens up Jamie to the bone and pours penicillin mixture deep into the tissue, and then also injects it, all with the understanding that if it fails, they might still have to amputate. Here, it was presented like Brianna had come up with a miracle fix on the spot, and I didn't like the unnecessary heightened drama of that.

Pros:

Starting with the buffalo incident, while I questioned its place in the overall pacing of the episode, I did like the way the women all played a part, with Lizzie alerting them to the buffalo's arrival, Brianna creating a distraction to lure it away from the baby, and then Claire coming in with the kill. Jamie, grievously injured, hears the disturbance, but all he can do is pull himself weakly out the door in time to see his wife and his daughter be utter bad-asses. It's a great moment, and I wish it had been given more room to breathe in the episode.

In a big way, this episode is about Jamie's relationship to his various sons. His only biological son, William, is of course absent entirely and not even mentioned. But the episode does feature Fergus, Ian, and Roger, each with their own complex relationship to the patriarch. Roger gets the lion's share of the time, as is only right. The two of them fall into misadventure while on a hunting trip, as Jamie gets bitten by a snake. Roger cuts him, sucks the venom from the wound, and waits with him as it becomes clear that Jamie is burning up from infection. He creates a litter, and drags him a great distance, until Fergus and Ian come and find them and bring them home.

I like how not very much was really said between Roger and Jamie, and yet so much was resolved. At one point, feverish, Jamie does say that he has blamed Roger somewhat for hesitating before coming back to Brianna, but that he's glad he's there with him now. That's... about it, as far as emotional honesty about their complex relationship goes. So much is unspoken, in Jamie entrusting the secret of his plan to kill Bonnet, and in Roger saying he needs Jamie to live in order to teach him how to fight. In a later moment, Roger talks about how much the maggots are going to tickle, and Jamie says that Roger Mac is always a comfort to him. We can see from Brianna and Claire's amused and pleased expressions that they've noticed a growing warmth between the two men. There's a lot of subtlety here, as it's not like Roger and Jamie were openly hostile or cruel to each other before this. Things were... fine. Maybe slightly awkward. And now there's a new intimacy there, the fact that they've shared in danger, that Jamie had to trust Roger at his most vulnerable. Roger's relationship with Jamie is the thing I find most rewarding about his character, and I like the way it was handled here.

Then there's Ian and Fergus. The two of them have a bond that began with their time in Edinburgh with Jamie, and it was nice to see a bit of that returned here. As Jamie contemplates his injury, it becomes clear that his only chance to live might be if his leg is amputated. He makes Claire promise to let him die rather than let him live as an amputee. Ian... has some thoughts about that. He points out that his father Ian Sr., and Fergus, are both living as amputees and have happy lives. Jamie argues against it, and Ian says he's ashamed of Jamie. Later, Ian tries to stop Fergus from visiting Jamie because he worries Fergus will be upset by Jamie's attitude of preferring death over losing a limb.

Fergus, the darling little lamb, has a very different perspective on things, telling Ian about what he'd said to Jamie about being a "man of leisure" when he had first lost his hand. He was teasing, but there's a deep truth to the fact that Fergus depended on Jamie to take care of him, and that Jamie never betrayed that sacred duty. And here, Fergus says that he and Marsali try to focus on the gifts they do have, and not what they don't. He has a father who he loves, and he wants to be there for him in his time of need. That's... so very, very lovely, and I love Fergus a lot.

And I love Marsali Fraser more than words can say. First off, there's the moment at the beginning where she talks about how grateful she is to have Claire around in her advanced pregnancy. Not as a physician but... as a mother. Thinking about where these two started, and how far they've come, makes me so emotional I can hardly stand it. I love that she has taken a place in the story as Claire's apprentice. It's not from the books, but it gives her more of a presence in the story at this point, which is a great thing in my opinion. And then there's the hilarious family moment, where Fergus is playing with little Germaine and Joan, when Marsali goes suddenly into labor. Fergus is going to rush off to get Claire, but Marsali says no, it's too late, Fergus has to stay. He predictably blanches at that for a moment, but steps up and helps in the delivery of their third child, little baby Félicité. They're such a precious family. I really am curious to see how close their story remains to what happens in the books.

And we must talk about Jamie Fraser almost dying. Sam Heughan does a great job with a larger-than-life character. I think there are so many things about Jamie that he does a great job of capturing. But from reading the books, there's this quiet dignity to him, this intensity where you wouldn't dare to cross him, and not because of fear, but just because of his... presence. I don't know how to describe it exactly. I've never thought Heughan had quite encapsulated this commanding aspect of Jamie's character quite right, until this episode. The moment when he's lying, covered in sweat and white as a sheet, and he tells Roger he wants to lie in his own bed... I got chills. There was such a quiet strength, such a powerful intensity to his delivery of that line. It was present, too, in the moment where he asked Claire to give her word that she wouldn't take his leg.

Then on the flip side, you have his vulnerability, the fear in his voice when he's talking to Roger, asking him if he knows the last rights. Jamie isn't the type to overreact, so if he thinks he's dying, he has good reason. He asks to be brought to his own bed, and he asks for Claire to touch him, knowing the end is near, and knowing that his wife is the only thing that can prevent him from slipping away. Both actors performed masterfully in this scene. Jamie truly did seem to be on the verge of death, and Claire went beyond logic, beyond medicine, in her desperation to tether him to life.

So there you have it - it's crazy to think of how much of the season has already passed, given how much actually has to happen for the story to progress. While I had some pacing issues, and wish that a few things had been given more room to breathe, I was over-all very impressed with this installment!

8/10

[trashpandaorigins]

The Body Keeps the Score: Interlude Peter Quill

"You said it yourself bitch, we're the Guardians of the Galaxy." Gamora is finally a part of something. But the past always follows you, eats at you and she must come to grips with her deeds as she tries to build a future. Meanwhile Rocket has never cared much for anyone or anything. Together the two of them discover they are more alike than different and try to heal themselves by befriending the other.

*Content Warnings: Mentions of child/animal abuse, trauma, character death, physical torture/pain*

Title of this fic is taken from the book

Peter Quill was a simple man. He liked his music and nostalgia and playing the long game, (like, for example with Gamora). He rolled with the punches and put great effort into having the last word. When it came to the hard stuff, and there was a lot of hard stuff- his mother, his home, the family he’d never returned to on earth, ...Gamora. But Gamora was worth it of course- he did his best not to dwell on it. Life was a joke. You might as well laugh, else you ended up like Drax, or worse, like Rocket. That nihilistic, argumentative selfish raccoonoid; he was so full of quirks it was impossible to know what would set him off. 

Peter didn’t truly mind though, precariously brass tendencies and feigned apathy, Rocket was at the very least a genius and loyal to Groot. If by loyall you meant obsessively protective and unrelentingly paternal to the point of everyone else's detriment than sure, he was a good guy. But even that was abating, Peter thought, picking Groot up off the ground away from where his elemental blaster lay. He bounced the squealing flora up and down, throwing him into the air and catching him. Sure the Benatar might have crashed landed and Gamora had been more stand-offish than usual but it was alright, Peter told himself, the sweet sounds of Fleetwood Mac coursing through the ship, but they were all together and Groot was back! Growing up with the Ravagers, you learned to appreciate the little things. Learned to steal away all the good moments you could get. 

Groot’s small wooden fists pounded against his arms, demanding another throw. “Alright buddy one more, then we gotta get back to work.” Peter tossed Groot, silly smile turning instantly to a frown hearting the smack of bark against the metal. The little flora’s wide smile froze. Eyes filling with sap. Shit shit shit, Peter looked instantly around for Rocket. But the ringtail, like Gamora, hadn't been seen in hours. He caught Groot and giggled him a little, patting his back. “Shhhe, shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay.”  He swayed back and forth, glancing at the babies back. No bruising, thank the stars. Peter bent down to the tape deck, turning the volume up. “Just listen to the sound of You Make Loving Fun.” Sure enough Groot’s tears soon subsided. Peter broke into a laugh, swaying along. If Gamora were here, he wondered if she would dance. If she would dance, she would smile, and maybe give that joyous laugh that made his heart beat like crazy. Gamora had been under Thanos’s control for so long and now she was free. Peter didn’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to shout that from the rooftops. To celebrate!

  Sure there might be goons after them but there were always people after them. If anyone came after Gamora they’d help her bring them down. Maybe she didn’t believe that yet, but Peter would show her. No matter how long it took. Groot laughed again, twirling around on the ground. He’d make Gamora laugh again. They’d both had less than ideal upbringings...their father figures were both dicks at best. But Peter had still somehow, he wasn’t even sure how but he’d managed to dance his way through it and keep on spinning. All he wanted was for Gamora to be able to do that too. Groot giggled then stopped, a light flashing through the ship. 

“What the hell? Groot stay here.” 

Peter made his way towards the flight deck. Peering through the large windows, lights blinding. His stomach dropped. Nova ships. He sighed, shaking his head: asking himself the same question he always did in an unexpected predicament: alright Peter Quill you magnificent bastard, how are you gonna bull shit your way out of this one?"

[xmeetyoutherex]

Dusty Records (c.h.) - Part One

Word count: 2.5K

Summary: Calum decides to go record shopping and in the end, he gets more than just a dusty record sitting on the shelves.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to write this. I was busy with finals and all that. This is only part one and I honestly don’t know if there will only be two parts or not, so we’ll see. As always let me know what you think and come talk to me about. If all goes as planned the second part will be up by next Friday. I also made a playlist for this fic so check my masterlist for the link and to read my other stuff. Thanks for reading! (oh and if I tagged you it was because you showed interest in me writing a fic after reading the headcannon, let me know if you don’t want to be tagged or if you do) oh and i didn’t really edit this sooooo sorry:)

Margaret was collecting records and CDs that had just came in that needed to be shelved. They were all newly released albums such as Billie Eilish, Khalid, and some other big artists that she had never took the time to listen to. She worked at an old record shop in the poorer part of the city, better known as the south side. It was a cozy store. She got to know some of the customers very well because they were never really crowded, and it was usually always just regulars. Occasionally someone new would wonder through the doors, but that was usually the only time she ever saw them.

When Maggie first started working there her friend used to joke with her that she wouldn’t make any money because she as soon as she got her paycheck she would go and spend on the record she had been eyeing all week. Margaret had an unhealthily huge record collection living in her apartment. She had started when she was only ten years old and her dad had decided to give her his. He had R.E.M, Led zeppelin, Elton John, and so many more. All comprising of different styles of music that caused Margaret in turn to have no exact genre she loved most. She would always tell people she preferred rock and alternative, but if someone caught a glimpse of her collection, they probably wouldn’t believe her.

But her broad love for music made her perfect for running a record store having been raised on the idea of “appreciating music for what it is and not by the category it falls under.” She was always able to spark a conversation with anyone who came in and help them find the perfect album for what they were looking for. Her broad love for music was also very annoying to her close friends because her playlists in the car can go from soft pop music to heavy metal screamo music. If Maggie is being honest with herself, she finds her taste in music disgustingly broad.

Currently there were only a couple people browsing the sections and none of them appeared to need any help. While she was getting the new records ready to be put out, she was talking to her coworker who was also one of her closest friends. “I’m working every day this week, so no I can’t go on a double date with you.” Leah just scoffed at her.

“You’re just saying that because you already think he’s a dud.” Leah was currently sitting on the stool behind the register looking over at Maggie work.

Maggie could only laugh at her friends comment because it was partially true. She got off work at 6:00 pm, plenty of time to get ready and go on a date. “That may be true, but when are they not duds.” Maggie smirked downward at the records that still needed to be taken out of the boxes in front of her.

“Come on Mags,” Leah sighed, “life is not a cliché love song engraved on one of your records. You gotta go on the cringy dates to finally go on the noncringy dates.” Leah looked genuinely concerned for her friends love life. It was truly a tragic one. None of Maggie’s relationships lasted very long. The longest one she ever had was about four months. She honestly thought something was wrong with her. No one ever seemed to stay long, they all got bored and fast. She was ready to give up on love all together. Her friends used to get mad at her for how negative she was about love, but after she was cheated on for a second time, none them had it in them to argue with her anymore, well except Leah. She was only twenty- two and preparing herself to live a long lonely life. Like Leah said none of it is like the love songs engraved on one of her old dusty records, but she can help but think to herself that if it was love that she was supposed to feel shouldn’t be like one of those old dusty records.

Maggie looked Leah in the eyes and sighed. “I will go on all the cringy dates,” Leah began to smile at that, but Maggie cut her off by continuing with, “but I will choose the cringy person. Okay?”

Leah let out an annoyed huff, “fine,” and slouched back against the wall making sure the stool was close enough so she wouldn’t fall off. Maggie just smiled a small one as she looked back down at the record boxes and picked up the ones ready to be shelved.

……..

             The boys had been on break for over a month and Calum had run out of things to do, to keep him occupied in his free time. Luke, Ash, and Michael were all spending their free time with there girlfriends and in Michael’s case his fiancé. Ashton had tried setting Calum up on a few blind dates, but for those to work Calum would have to show up to the date. So, as different way to pass the time Calum decided to ask Luke for ideas instead of Ashton.  Luke proposed the idea of Calum going to record shop. Calum had never actually been to an actual record shop. He has bought ones online or gone to places like target to buy them, but never went to an actual record shop to hunt for the perfect record. But the issue was finding one. Luke’s girlfriend had sent him an address of one she used to go to all the time, but it was on the other side of town, the side of town he’s not too familiar with.

              So, he set up his google maps on his phone and decided to take an hour trip across town. Calum decided to take Duke with him so the trip wasn’t as lonely. It would be a fun father son trip. Honestly Calum was excited to spend the day out with his dog.

……..

             Before Calum got out of the car he put the windows down a little. It wasn’t very hot out, but he wanted to make sure Duke would be fine. He couldn’t be more than thirty minutes, but that was still long time for a dog to be in the car for that long.

             “I promise I won’t be long,” Calum quickly pet duke’s head and closed his door and looked through the cracked window and continued with, “don’t get into to trouble, okay?” he then laughed a little to himself because people probably think he’s a little crazy talking to a dog.

             Calum scanned the parking lot and noticed that there wasn’t that many cars. Only about four including his. Unless the staff of the store parks in the back, they must not get much business. He couldn’t help but wonder how a place like this can stay in business if no one is here, but then he reminds himself that most people are work eight to five jobs and it is ten in morning. so he makes his way to the doors and check to make sure they are open and the sign adorning the door tells him that they have been open since nine.

             When he enters the door makes a little ding sound and when he looks up, he notices a bell attached to the top to alert the staff when someone enters the store. But when he looked around the store, he didn’t see anyone else. It could be because of the endless aisles and racks filled with CDs and records. It appeared endless. Calum began to roam the aisles, as he looked, he came across so many albums that he forgot even existed. Then he heard muffled talking form the next aisle.

             Calum honestly forgot that there could possibly be other people in the store, considering there was basically no one in the parking lot and he hadn’t even seen a sales person asking him if he needed any help with anything. Ha decided to walk to the end of the row he was in and make his way into the row that he thought the talking was coming form. When he rounded the corner two people came into sight. One appeared to be a much older man, at least in his late sixties or early seventies, and the other was a young girl, not too young she looked about his age maybe a year or two younger, but that could be because she a sort of baby face to her. She was wearing skinny black ripped jeans, they were only ripped around the knee, and a black t-shirt that looked like a shirt one would buy from hot topic. She also had black vans on to match her black outfit. The thing that was drew Calum’s attention the most were the black bands tattooed around her upper arm and right below her elbow. It immediately reminded him of the same ones decorating Michael’s skin. Her hair was short just passing her shoulders and it had a slight purple tint to it indicating that she probably ha dyed it and the color was fading out.

              Calum was pulled out of her thoughts by her voice speaking up again in response to the man standing in front of her. As she spoke Calum busied himself with looking at the records to his left. “If she’s starting a collection, I strongly recommend this album.” He looked up to see what album she was referring to and saw that it was Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, truly one of the best albums he had ever listened to himself. “You said she’s turning sixteen, right?”

              The older man nodded his head, “Yeah, her mother told me she wanted to start a vinyl collection cause apparently it’s the cool thing these days.”

             The girl let out a slight laugh but tried to stifle it so she could talk. “Well then if she’s doing it to be cool this is a great option. It an old album so it will get her a lot of points on the grunge front and if she ever decided to give it a spin on the player, she will fall in love with out a doubt.” She smiled up at the man as she spoke.

             “Well, you look close to her age so I’m going to trust you on this.” The man clearly was joking with her at this point.

             As she began to turn to turn to lead the man to the cash register Calum noticed her name tag said Margaret, and she was turning she spoke, “Okay, lets get you checked out then huh?” the older man only smiled at her and followed her to the front of the store.

             Calum continued looking at the records, but he couldn’t get himself to focus on what was in front of him. Her smile was partially engraved in his mind already. He tried to focus on the Led Zeppelin albums, but then the bell that he heard when he entered the store was ringing again. He looked up for what was in front of him a realized that all he didn’t hear anyone talking anymore. Cal began walking in the direction in which Margaret had led the guy down when taking him to the cash register. On his way in that direction he mindlessly grabbed an album from one of the shelves.

             He noticed Margaret was now sitting behind the register scrolling through her phone and there was also someone sitting next to her that he hadn’t seen when he walked in. It was another girl who looked to be the same age as Margaret, but she was wearing blue skinny jeans without a single rip in them and pair of pink tennis shoes to match the pink flowery shirt she was wearing. As Calum got closer they both looked up from their phones to look at him.

             Margaret gave him a small smile with no teeth, and he noticed how her side swept bangs fell slightly in front of her right eye as she looked up. She immediately tucked her hair on the right side of her face behind her ear revealing multiple piercing on her ears. Once Calum was close enough she began talking, “What can I help you with.”

Calum simply held up the album he was holding and said, “Just this.” She began to laugh a little when she saw the album he was holding; it was same laugh he had heard her stifle earlier when talking to the older man about his granddaughter. He looked down at the what he was holding and noticed it was Taylor swift’s Fearless album and began to laugh himself.

Maggie wasn’t judging him for buying the album she just found It funny that this big guy in a leather jacket was buying an album she used to listen to religiously when she was in middle school. Mags couldn’t help but find it utterly adorable especially when he asked the question, “Is this one good?” the questioning look on his face made her slightly giggle again. She adverted her eyes to the register and began to ring him up.

When Maggie responded she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped with it, “It does have so great classics.” Leah really looked up from her phone to watch the event unfolding in front of her because she couldn’t believe her ears.

Calum was pleased with himself for getting her to laugh not only once but twice now. He tried to level his voice and sound as serious as he could when he said, “that’s why I picked it.” But Maggie and Leah could both hear the underlying amusement in his voice.

“Yeah, Okay.” Maggie’s smiled down at the register and read the price, “that will be sixteen dollars and ninety-nine cents.” She then held out her hand waiting for him to drop his credit card in it to which he did. She then proceeded to ask, “would like a bag?”

Calum took his credit card back and answered her question with a shake of the head. “No, I think I can manage.” He smiled at her then looked over at the other girl who had been looking at them for the last five minutes and smiled at her as well before saying, “Hope you both have a great day.” And turned around and left the store.

Once the bell had rung and the door had shut completely Leah looked at Maggie and exclaimed, “you never giggle.”

Maggie gave a look that could Leah refers to as her “what the fuck” look. “what does that even mean?”

Leah let out an annoyed huff. “It means, you don’t giggle. I have never seen a guy make you giggle, and he did.” Leah motioned toward the door of the shop when she referred to him. “and he is totally your type, and the way he was looking at you make me think you’re his.” When Maggie looked form the door back to Leah, she saw the obnoxious smirk Leah was wearing and couldn’t stop the annoyed words from leaving her mouth.

“In his dreams.”

 tags: @lmao5sosimagines @snowflakegen @lynnskata @lvke-hemmings @notmyvalentyne @the5sosdumpster @calumisanactualangel @singt0mecalum @sweetcherrymike @irwnsrcses 

[totallydarknerd]

Make It Count: Chapter 1- Travelers Fanfiction

I originally posted this to ao3. If you’d rather read this there, here’s the link, enjoy :) This fic was also originally called Moving On, but I just changed it.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17140643/chapters/40309691

Make It Count: Chapter 1

Everything was failing. The world was falling apart around them and there was nothing they could do about it. The Director had abandoned them. David’s last words, words that weren’t even his own, were fucking “Protocol Omega”.

Protocol was that they would go on to live their lives. Protocol 5 for the rest of their lives.That was Protocol Omega.

Trevor always knew this would be his last life. Even if the Early Onset Temporal Aphasia hadn’t started to kick in, he knew this was it. He had been very much determined to enjoy it.

Protocol 5 was fine when he knew he had missions to go on. It was fine because he had other people around him, his team- his family. But Trevor had moved out of his parents’ house. He was staying at Ops. But Ops wouldn’t really be a thing anymore. They were done.

The group was spread out around Ops., resting after the horrific events of the day. Marcy and Carly took Philip’s bed and everyone else was lounging on couches or benches or sleeping uncomfortably propped up in chairs.

Trevor wondered what Philip would do no that they were following Protocol Omega. Philip’s entire life revolved around the team. Unlike Philip, the rest of the team had other places to go. Trevor could stay with Philip, like he had been doing, but he supposed he should probably try to move into that house that his parents thought he already lived in. That would be his Protocol Omega. And Trevor vaguely thought that maybe Philip could go with him.

Two people to cover rent was better than Trevor trying to cover it all by himself. He didn’t have a job, so he would need to get one. Philip would need one too. But if he got to keep living with Philip, even if they had to go the rest of their lives pretending they weren’t from the future, then that would be okay. Philip had been a constant in his life since day one. Out of the entire team, Philip was probably who he was closest with.

And, if Trevor thought about it, this was his first life where he didn’t have his wife by his side. She was his constant companion and coming to the 21st without her, was one of the most terrifying things Trevor ever had to do in his crazy long life.

But then he got here, and there was Philip. Philip dealing with a heroin addiction. Philip who seemed to know too much about everyone and everything. Philip who bore the weight of the world on his shoulders yet was one of the kindest people Trevor ever had the pleasure of knowing in his entire existence. So if Trevor wanted to continue living with Philip once they got everything shut down, who could blame him? Maybe it was selfish, but Trevor wasn’t sure if he could go on without him.

Trevor pulled out his phone to text Philip. He knew it was silly but people did that all the time in the 21st, texting people who were within talking range. But it was the middle of the night, and Trevor didn’t want to risk waking anybody up. He wasn’t even sure if Philip was awake.

Philip, are you awake? Was the text he sent and he heard Philip’s phone buzz from somewhere far away from the other side of Ops.

Trevor just wanted to talk to him. This was his first time in his many lifetimes that he was scared of living. He had a vague idea of what to expect now that they were following Protocol Omega, but it was a scary thought that he’d have to go through life alone. There was no reason for the team to contact each other once they leave tomorrow. They could keep in touch, sure, but they wouldn’t see each other as much as they were used to. The thought of being away from Philip for an indefinite amount of time scared Trevor. So he made a decision.

Trevor was gonna go through with it- asking Philip to move in with him, that is. He needed to. He couldn’t live in the 21st alone with little to no contact with anyone who knew who he truly was. Because tomorrow, they all had to go back to their Protocol 5.

Trevor really did need to buy that house that Gary thought he’d moved into. Mac would go to the FBI and be a damn good agent. Marcy would work at the hospital and Philip, well Trevor still had no idea what Philip was supposed to be doing so hopefully he’d agree to move in with Trevor. Grace would go back to only being a guidance counselor, Trevor supposed he could also see her from time to time. And Jeff and Boyd would be cops and Carly had her own thing going on having moved into that nice apartment. And it seemed like, from what Trevor picked up on, she was really starting to like the traveler that was in Jeff’s body. Maybe Carly and Jeff would date. Who knew?

Trevor was about to give up on Philip answering when his phone buzzed, startling him out of his thoughts.

Sure am, old man. What’s up? Trevor smiled at the used of the old nickname. At least that would never change.

How are you doing? Trevor figured it was best to start a normal conversation before jumping into what he wanted to talk about. He didn’t have to wait even a minute before another reply came through.

To be honest, I could really use a hit right now. I won’t have one, I wanna be done with that shit and I’ve been doing pretty good except for that one relapse.

Trevor’s phone buzzed with another message. I just want this all to be over.

Trevor sighed. That’s something he was worried about. Without the team around to help Philip stay clean, would he be able to stay clean? If he and Philip lived together, then he could keep an eye on him. He could distract him when he was having really bad days and show his support and how proud he was of Philip each time he passed a milestone in his sobriety. He wanted to be there for him.

Me too. Trevor sighed. He might as well get it over with. I was thinking, maybe after all of this is over, we could move in together? My parents already think I’m living in that house, I guess I’d actually have to figure out a way to move in there now. But- Trevor’s thumbs hovered over the screen. Did he really want to confess what he had been thinking about?

No. But also yes.

But I’ve gotten used to living with you. And honestly, I don’t think I could live in the 21st without you.

Trevor pressed send before he could overthink things. His heart was racing and his palms were getting sweaty. Trevor sat up straight on the couch he was supposed to be sleeping on and flung his phone away from him. He watched as it bounced on the couch cushion threatening to bounce its way onto the floor. He held his breath waiting for Philip to respond.

What if he didn’t respond? What if Trevor overstepped some sort of boundary? What if he was too forward?

Trevor hated that he was thinking this way. He had lived three full life times. He once had a wife and he’s had many many kids. His palms shouldn’t be getting sweaty over sending something as meaningless to life as a text message.

Except, Trevor reasoned, it wasn’t meaningless. Philip’s reply would seal his fate. It would determine how Trevor lived out the rest of his life in the 21st. And not only that, he just really didn’t want Philip to say no. They were friends and they relied on each other. Philip had always been such a constant presence, always there when he needed him. His companionship was something Trevor had always valued. It had been a long long time since he had someone as close to him as Philip. The last person who knew Trevor, truly knew him, had been his wife. But she had died and now Trevor was dying... and now Trevor felt guilty for asking Philip to move in.

Philip would have to go through what Trevor went through when his wife died. While the implant slowed things down, eventually he won’t come out of being locked in. If Philip said yes, he’d have to watch Trevor slowly die.

Once again Trevor’s phone buzzing broke him out of his thoughts. He slowly picked up his phone and debated whether he should look at the text message or not. Philip had taken a few minutes to respond. Trevor wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to be.

Trevor pressed the home button on his phone and was greeted by Philip’s answer.

I’d love to move in with you. Trevor let go of the breathe he didn’t even know he was holding. He tried to look around Ops to see if he could find where Philip was resting, but everything was deathly still and silent. Trevor looked back his phone to read the rest of the message.

I’ve gotten used to living with you too. It’d be weird if I didn’t see you all the time. I couldn’t live in the 21st without you either.

Trevor leaned back on the couch and allowed himself to process the text. Philip said yes. They were going to move in together. Trevor smiled.

I can’t wait. Trevor couldn’t get past the giddiness he felt.

Me neither. Now get to sleep, old man. You old folk shouldn’t be up this late. It’s bad for your health ;)

Trevor laughed a loud, sudden, and intrusive laugh. He was immediately shushed by who he thought was Mac. But he couldn’t help it. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that the Director had abandoned this timeline. Sure, they didn’t know if it was because they had succeeded or failed in saving the future, but now they could live normal lives.

They never had the chance to do that before. In the future they had gone through training for years to be a crucial part of the traveler program. All their lives revolved around it. Now they just had the opportunity to live. And even if they failed the future, Trevor wanted to enjoy his life. It was his last one and he was going to make it count.

[c2bend]

My SamCait Theories:

marking summer 2017. Sorry this is so long.

Some background on my fandom experience first.

When this show was advertising on Starz I knew I really wanted to watch it.  My husband did too.  It looked interesting and right up our ‘alley’.  So we showed up for the first episode, I know I’m going to continue watching a show when the first episode of any show ends and you just want it to keep going, I was hooked.  I didn’t even know it was based on books until the 4th episode when I actually read the credits, ok cool.  By the 8th episode I HAD TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, so I downloaded all the books on my Kindle and read them – not sure how far I got before the S2 premiere. This was good and bad, now I had something to compare the film version to the book version – sometimes I wish I hadn’t read the books, since I love the film version so much.  Anyhow, I digress.

While watching this amazing show I became enthralled with Caitriona Balfe. (I love actors – really good actors – I wanted to be a casting director when I was younger and I appreciate talent when I see it) And Caitriona Balfe had a ton of it.  So like any obsessed fan I started digging into google to find out more about her, her past works, ok maybe a bit of her personal life, etc..  My initial reaction to what I found was how genuine she was, how she was with her friends on social media, her normalcy – she had not been celebrityized yet (yes I just made that word up ;) ) and I fell in love with her.  This was late 2014 early 2015, I hadn’t gotten into the interviews and the buzz publicity stuff yet – I had not followed an actor/celebrity since I was 12 yrs old (1970s) and back then all we had were magazines – so all this was actually rather new to me.  Though once I started finding these things online I notice her and Mr. Sam Heughan, and I was like hmmm?  So I looked to see if either of them had significant others in their lives.  I found some stuff on Caitriona that she maybe had a boyfriend, but very little info at the time.  I started stalking (erm looking at all the beautiful pictures) on her and her friends’ instagram and found a photo at Thanksgiving 2014 with her friends at her and Simon’s house in West Hollywood and there was a guy that was sitting next to her, but she just didn’t look very happy at all and I couldn’t tell if this was the infamous boyfriend or not.  To this day I have not seen this guy surface in her orbit and do not know who he is/was.  So because I was a naive celebrity follower and after reading trash articles that said she had a boyfriend already and seeing that Sam was apparently living it up in Los Angeles I figured okay they’re just friends, and enjoyed the cuteness of them anyways. (btw – I hadn’t seen Paley yet, it was off my radar).  Oh and somewhere in there I saw mention of Tony McGill and the Christmas video and other photos of him being within her circle of friends and was a bit disappointed that I COULDN’T FIND SHIT ON HIM and that their chemistry was so hohum.  So to keep enjoying the SamCaitness I started finding fanvideos of them and I was a shipper before I knew what a fucking shipper was – and all by myself – or so I thought!  

So by now it’s late Spring early Summer and I am one OBSESSED Sassenanch, for the show and SamCait!  Ahh – SDCC 2015 – sometimes it seems like it was ages ago and sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday.  That was my “who the fuck do these fuckers think they’re kidding, they are not only fucking they are seriously together and I’m squeeing like a school girl lovin’ it!” moment.  And I start scouring the internet while at the same time signed up for twitter, signed up on instagram, somehow came across tumblr and was like hell yeah I AM NOT ALONE! And signed up there too.  So now that I was no longer alone and there was all kinds of speculation, love of these two goobers and discussions galore you kind of end up in a herd mentality to some degree, especially the more you are on tumblr, like every fucking day – my new obsession to go along with my Outlander and SamCait obsession!  Who AM I?  I don’t care I am having fun and have found my peeps.  

Being on tumblr opened my eyes to so much more that I hadn’t seen, interviews, articles, friends of theirs, other interactions that I hadn’t seen yet.  And speculations and theories, antis – what?.  So as this little/big tumblr of SamCait shippers are going along we are getting rewarded with some incredible SamCait cuteness to the max.  There was a squee at least every fucking week for weeks.  The speculations were out of control – no seriously, looking back it was a frenzied hot mess, they’re married, she’s pregnant, she’s not pregnant, she already had a baby, omg look at them, ooh rings we see rings, ooh everything they tweet is double entendres, every photo posted on instagram has some sort of meaning to it. Every obscure photo we were analyzing to death. Omg they’re going to reveal at People Choice Awards or some other event. I mean seriously looking back we were pretty cray cray!  Then the IFH happened and our Ship took on some heavy artillery and almost sunk.  We were stupefied, how could they do this to us, how could we be so wrong, how how how…. What the Fuck just happened?

Personally, after I recovered the initial blow, it allowed me to step back and see how the frenzied atmosphere that we all perpetuated is what caused us to feel so hurt.  It allowed me to ship without being so emotionally invested yet still enjoy them (although will admit with all the peripheral fuckery going on it sometimes is a challenge).  So here we are today and things just keep getting weirder and weirder in SamCait land – why?  

The question of the decade – why did Shitner happen, why did Mackenzie Mauzy happen and continues to, why did the IFH happen, why was Kristin Dos Santos suddenly re-assigned, why the newest failed attempt of denying even though no one is asking, why do SamCait still give us cuteness yet don’t, why is ALL OF THIS STILL GOING ON?  With all these questions we need to step back and ask this one - Who is seeing this?  The average/normal fan – no.  The obsessed fans – whether a shipper or not – yes!  Newly acquired obsessed fans as the show moves forward – yes and no!  So again we have to ask why?

Who is creating this obscure Sam + Mac relationship – SamCait, The Powers That Be, Publicists?  Someone is orchestrating this narrative we are in, if we can figure out why, we may be able to make sense of it.  What is attempting to be achieved?  For whatever reason someone/s do not want fans thinking/believing that SamCait are together in real life.  So these things keep happening – we see it in real time because we are always watching (the obsessed fan/s).  But what happens is the trash articles are published all over the internet and I think about when I first started stalking erm I mean looking for more information on these two, I would read trash articles and not know any better that they are just that.  I was like oh okay, must be true – yeah I know naive as hell.  But then the question comes up again WHY do they – whoever they may be – want the fans/public to believe these two gorgeous people who are leads of a very romantic show not together? Why is it so fucking important that this narrative be pushed?  What does someone/s have to gain by having fans – current and future – believe this story?  And why is this ‘gain’ so important that they would go to these lengths – side note, here’s the thing, these efforts probably seem extreme to us for a couple of reasons – 1. we’re very aware of it all as it is happening and 2. we are not the entity who is orchestrating this and probably incapable of thinking like them, hence our confusion.  So if we can just figure out a why they want this narrative to be believed then we would be able to understand it – maybe.

So let us go through a few scenarios to see if one of them jives.

SamCait want us to believe they are not together – first question would be why? (always with the why!)  So back at the end of 2015 when the shippers were in a frenzy and then SamCait got back to Los Angeles where the IFH happened, some theories were expressed that one or both of them had been threatened regarding their ‘togetherness’ and they had to do something to diffuse this threat – IFH happened. So let us assume this is what happened, but going forward them being who they are, the ‘cuteness’ came back albeit not as intense as it was before and again threats were made.  So perhaps looking for assistance with this problem (this part I truly can’t fathom except they didn’t realize how bad it would go) they or their PR enlisted Shitner – he starts on his rampage against shippers and it leaves nothing but carnage and kind of backfires big time.  So time to bring out the ‘big guns’ enter stage left MM.  Next question that arises is who recruited her into this?  First photo of her and Sam is on a facebook page, there is a low on the totem pole Starz employee who ‘took’ the photo or was in the photo – HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS PHOTO.  Redflags are going off in the fandom.  Still assuming we are dealing with someone threatening our ‘babies’ did Starz get involved to help push the narrative forward?  Possibly.  So here’s where I start having a problem with this scenario – every fucking time SamCait are NOT in California especially and are in Europe or even South Africa, their ‘cuteness’ is on overdrive.  As soon as this starts happening OR they show up in the States, Shitner goes off, and MM is trotted out in either staged photos with Sam or innuendo photos from her or Sam.  Is there really a crazy person out there that goes off every time their ‘cuteness’ is shown? After a year and a half how come no one is able to catch this crazy fucker if the threat is real?  And if it is real how sad for everyone involved!!! Except Shitner the only sad thing about him is he’s a sad excuse for a human being.

Next up Publicists – if this is true I have no idea why and they should fire their sorry asses, nuf said on this.

The almighty powerful TPTB.  Alrighty then, what drives TPTB?  That is an easy one MONEY MONEY MONEY and POWER POWER POWER!  If ya’ll will remember SamCait missed the People’s Choice Awards because they got stuck in Costa Rica from the bad weather (I truly believe they were both there TOGETHER).   Now the PCAs for their category isn’t huge BUT it is publicity for them and THE SHOW! And lo’ and behold the stars of the show cancel at the last minute.  Big ass No No!  And now someone is in trouble!  What if TPTB did not know SamCait are together at this time, now the ‘cat’ is out of the bag and they don’t like it one bit.  They decide this needs to be ‘fixed’ NOW (POWER). So they force SamCaits’ hand and basically tell them in no uncertain terms – you see this ‘clause’ right here in your contracts? Being together in real life is not allowed and THIS is what you are going to do moving forward.  First deny that you are a couple, here’s your script SELL IT!  Well we all know how that went down.  At this point Shitner – is he just a loose cannon or did TPTB request his assistance in this ‘plan’ or was he just an unexpected benefit? Who the fuck knows and at this point it doesn’t really matter cos’ that asswipe happened.  Again SamCait being who they are they can’t control their ‘cuteness’ soooo TPTB ramp it up and bring in MM, puts her on the payroll to do what she’s been doing ever since she first appeared on the ‘scene’.

Okay, okay – we’ve heard this theory before but we can not fathom the why of it completely.  What if it is simply this, in their skewed perception of fandom and their belief that two leads of a romantic show should not be seen in real life as being together as it will somehow diminish and affect the bottom line (MONEY) –meaning their pockets.  Perhaps it is as simple as that and they will go to great lengths (POWER) to attempt to create this narrative for now and the future – as in future fans.  We as Shippers really do not matter, we are a fraction of this obsessed fandom and by having Shitner and the fucking twat Lynette Rice declare us as crazy anything we put out there to the contrary narrative will just be ignored (in their hopes).  I mean they can’t fire the leads, but they can enforce and make them ‘go along’ with this for now.  Of course, as we’ve seen time and time again SamCait just cannot contain their CUTENESS, as long as they keep showing it, TPTB will keep trying to manipulate the truth to satisfy their own ‘needs/wants/egos’…

So which theory is truth? I don’t know, I/we may never know, but it doesn't really matter because:

Always remember and never forget – IT IS NOT ABOUT US!  We are here for the SamCait CUTENESS.  That is all. 

[dontyoudarejudgemesworld]

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far: Chapter Six. A Name for A Goat and Where To Start

Alrighty, first off sorry for the delay, life got me in a choke hold for a hot minute but I managed to beat it back into submission. As always you can find the chapter here on AO3 in case you need to catch up. Comments, Kudos, and Likes are the life blood of all creators and I’m no exception so toss me a bone to let me know if you would like to see more. 

 So with out further a due I shall toss another chapter into the void. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far

Chapter Six: A Name for A Goat and Where to Start

~*~

Billie hummed softly to herself as she stood in front of the old stove carefully turning a piece of chicken as it cooked. The snap and sizzle of the oil created a comforting sort of white noise as she worked. She hadn’t planned on cooking tonight she’d been planning on going over to the Skull Fracture, but after three days she’d figured out that Stan had been taking the twins to Greasy’s almost every night or feeding them ‘Stan-cakes’ she had commandeered the car keys and headed off to the store. One trip later and she was safely hidden away in the kitchen, away from kids.

Not that she minded, she truly loved cooking, it was a rare pleasure she didn't get to do as often as she liked. Not having a permanent address meant no kitchen so no cooking aside from hotplates every now and then. So, the fact that Stan gave her access to a real kitchen with no protest was a gift. Making sure the chicken was settled for the moment, she turned her attention to the greens in the pot. She figured fried chicken, greens and beans, and mac and cheese was as good a meal as any, after all kids liked them right?

"My root beer float brings all the guys to the pool, and they're like...," she sang softly before hearing someone beside her.

"Hi-yah! Watcha cooking?" came Mabel's lilting voice causing her to look down to find the child had somehow appeared right beside her to beam enthusiastically up at her. Letting out a surprised sound at the Girl's sudden appearance, she stared down at her for a second before glancing at the stove.

"Fried chicken, greens, an' mac," she replied swallowing, "Why? Are you allergic to something? Or Vegan?" she asked suddenly realizing she hadn't asked Stan what the kids would or could eat. Mabel stared up at her for a second before laughing.

"Oh no, it just smells good," she replied as she nimbly hopped up on to the counter and crossed her legs, "So Billie tell me about you. Your hopes, your dreams. You're favorite color," she demanded her fingers steepled beneath her chin like a day time talk show host.

"Uhhhh...I hope I don’t burn the chicken, I dream in techicolor, an’ Pantone 3265 C,” she replied raising an eyebrow as she turned one of the pieces of chicken again as the girl hummed beside her.

“Fascinating, so your sound like Gideon are you related?” she asked and Billie’s nose wrinkled as she stuck out her tongue and shook her head at the thought.

“That’s little two bit fake? Lord no,” the woman said as she turned to her attention to the greens, “Just cause we both got a drawl don’t mean we come from the same place. They talk like they’re from Texas or Tennessee. I’m from Georgia darlin’,” she added as she worked her discomfort at the child’s presence pushed away by the need to keep everything from burning. Beside her Mabel cocked her head and gave a beaming smile braces flashing in the light. Billie couldn’t help but return one, the girl seemed to radiate joy.

“So is that where Stan met your Dad? Georgia?”she asked and Billie felt her eyes widen a bit but other then that kept her cool. Her mind raced as she considered what to say; lies were more believable if they were laced with truth. Also she wanted something that Stan could roll with if he was asked before she could talk to him. Weighing the options quickly she shook her head.

“Naw, they grew up together in Jersey,” she said smoothly hoping it would be enough to quince the girl’s curiosity but her next question told her that Billie wouldn’t be getting off that easily.

“Oh, where’s he now? Does he live here in Gravity Falls?” the brunette chirped and Billie shook her head.

“Uhhh, no. He…ummmm he passed on,” she said quickly hoping that the idea of death would put the girl off. She expected that her parents would have taught the kids to be shy of such a sensitive subject, what she didn’t expect was the child to launch herself off the counter and catch her in a tight hug.

“I’m ssssooo sorry Billie,” Mabel said as she squeezed the large woman. Billie stood frozen; tongs still held in her hand that had instinctively wrapped around the girl to keep her from swinging into the pots on the stove, and mouth slightly agape. She sounded so sincere in her apology. Billie had spent most of her childhood listening to people she’d just met offer apologies; they were sorry that she was in the system, that her latest placement hadn’t worked out, that she couldn’t afford a meal, and the one thing that every single on had had in common was they’d been hollow. Niceties given with no real feeling behind them; but the girl wrapped around her neck radiated  genuine sorrow at her words and her small arms hugged tightly like she was trying to absorb any pain that lingered from them. It was jarring, to say the least.This tiny child she had just met was giving her one of the few sincere hugs she had ever received in her life, and she didn’t know how to respond.

“Oh, it’s’alright,” Billie said as she patted Mabel’s back awkwardly, “Really, I’m fine,” she added a hint of alarm  causing her voice to crack slightly. Mabel gave one last squeeze before letting go Billie quickly turning to let the girl down away from the stove. Looking down at her Billie really thought the girl might cry, and she shifted nervously. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you think about that,” Mable told her and Billie shook her head holding her hands up.

“Really Mabel it’s fine. I’m okay with it. It happened a long time ago,” she assured her as she looked around for something, anything to distract the girl from her distress. Her emerald gaze fell on the soft pink piglet that sat snuffling up at them. She’d asked Stan about the pig earlier only to be told it was Mabel’s pet, the old man had complained loudly about the creature which had made her laugh. He seemed to constantly be plagued with livestock to complain about. Over the last few years she had taken a liking to the stray goat that hung around the shack, and Stan had grumbled constantly about the creature but yet hadn’t run the thing off yet. In his complaints about the pig, Waddles, Stan had mentioned that Mable had named the goat as well.

“Hey, I heard you named the goat,”  she said quickly as she turned back to the stove.

“Oh you mean Gompers?” Mabel said perking up, “Yeah, he and Waddles are married now. They’re Gravity Falls’ newest power couple and one of my greatest successes,” she said proudly perking up at once much to Billie’s relief.

“Oh really?” she said absently with a smile on her face, “Yuh got many successes like ‘em?”

“Yup I’m Gravity Falls premier match maker,” Mabel said proudly as she puffed out her chest, “I set up Soos and Robbie and Stan,” she listed ticking them off on her fingers causing an amused smile pulling at Billie’s lips.

“Yuh set up Stan?” she asked cocking a brow, “And how’d that go?”

“Yup, with Lazy Susan,” Mabel replied proudly, “It didn’t work out though. Weird she seemed just his type,” she added her face scrunching in concentration. Billie snorted from the stove, after her time spent getting to know Stanford she had come to believe that dating wasn’t really his thing; sure he seemed a shameless flirt but he never seemed to pursue it.

“Fancy that,” Billie mused as she began pulling the chicken out and plating it.

“Do you have a boyfriend?’ the girl asked suddenly her voice high with excitement as though it was the most delightfully scandalous thing she’d ever asked. Billie froze again her jaw falling open as she looked down to find the girl grinning like a cat in a cream factory.

“No…I…no,” she sputtered quickly shaking her head, “I…I don’t have time for that.”

“Oooo, sounds like someone needs Match Maker Mable to help them out,” the girl cooed with a broad grin and Billie shook her head.

“No, really it’s fine. I move around too much. I really don’t have time for a boyfriend,” she told her but the girl just grinned wider somehow egged on by her statement.

“There’s always time for love,” Mabel informed her, “But who would be right? Hmmm,” the girl mused tapping her chin with a finger, “Hmmm, maybe Tad.”

“Tad? Heavens no. That man is so normal it’s creepy,” Billie said before she could stop herself and immediately regretted it. Mabel perked up her shoulders pulling back as a coy smile pulled her lips.

“Oh so you already have someone in mind,” she chuckled and Billie turned back to the stove rolling her eyes.

“No darlin’ Tad’s just not…no,” she told her as she worked wondering if this was part of the ‘boy crazy’ phase most girls went through. She herself hadn’t been all that boy crazy as a kid, she’d moved around too much to really be able to developed too many crushes. The one crush she had had that endured for more than a day was her 8th grade math teacher Mr. Andrews, which had lasted a solid week before being shattered when he gave her detention.

“Oooooo, you like somebody,” Mabel said her voice dripping with delight, “Who is it? Is it someone here? Someone I know?” she asked in rapid fire.

“No,” Billie said her voice cracking in indignation causing Mabel to vibrate happily.

“You do like someone here,” the girl accused, “Oh my god you have to tell me. No! Wait lemme guess. Who around here is your age? Toby…no one one likes Toby let alone like likes him. Hmmmm, America Guy? No too skinny. Tyler? Naw to upbeat. One of the bikers…you said you have a motorcycle. Maybe? Mr. Poolcheck? Naw, he’s a weirdo. You seem like you would want a big strong guy. Someone who could…OH MY GOD!!!” she squealed suddenly looking up at her, “It’s Manly Dan isn’t it? You two would be perfect together!” she gushed, and Billie paused long enough to wonder how asking about her naming the goat had gone so far off the rails. And how the hell she was suppose to get out of this conversation. It seemed if she protested the girl would take it as proof of an affection that wasn’t there, but she couldn’t agree because that would just be a can of worms too. Busying herself with her chicken she could feel the preteen’s eye boring into her.

“What is all the yaking?” Stan demanded from the doorway and Billie was so relieved she could kiss the old man. Mabel though seemed unfazed by his sudden appearance spinning to look up at him excitedly.

“Grunkle Stan! Don’t you think Manly Dan would be perfect as Billie’s boyfriend?” she asked excitedly and Stan’s jaw fell open as he looked up at Billie who shrugged shaking her head.

“What?” he rasped and Mabel stared at him like he’d lost his mind.

“Manly Dan, you know Wendy’s Dad,” she told him and he stared at her, “Wouldnt they make the cutest couple? Even better than Gompers and Waddles.”

“I know who you’re talking about I just don’t know what you’re talking about,” he told the child looking up at Billie who just shook her head her eyes wide and pleading.

“I just asked what she had named the goat,” she told him at an utter loss. She had though for a split second that Stan’s appearance would pull the whole conservation to a grinding halt but it seemed she was wrong. For a second Stan just stared at them before shaking his head.

“Mabel, go find yur brother and tell him to get ready for dinner,” he said finally jerking a thumb over his shoulder.

"Sure thing Grunkle Stan," she said cheerfully as she skipped off happily Billie letting out a heavy sigh of relief as the girl grinned and bobbed her head. Watching her go Billie let out a breath she hadnt realized she’d been holding.

“Heavens ta Betsy, that girl is…,” she trailed off looking for the right words

“Yeah,” Stan replied in understanding a sly grin creeping across his face as he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms, “So you and Dan, huh? No wonder you spend so much time down at the var,” he teased and she rolled her eyes.

“Yur’ a grown man Stanford, you really gonna get on the train with a 12 year old?” she asked as she worked on finishing up preparing dinner and he laughed.

“I’m not hearing a no and your look a little red around the ears kid,” he barked and she could swear she pulled a muscle as she rolled her eyes again. Deciding she would shut this down once and for all she looked at him and put on a killer smile.

“Mmmmm, if me and Dan were doin’ anything I assure you you an’ everyone would know by the way we were walking. I would gladly let that man bend me over an’,” she said and Stan’s hands flew up.

“NO!!” he barked, “Stop I don’t wanna know,” he told her shaking his head and she smirked with a laugh.

~*~

He couldn’t stop staring at her hand, the six fingers were mesmerizing. They were more slender then the golden ones on the front of the Journal but still. They had to be the answer, or at least part of the answer. There was no way that it was just a coincidence, how many people had a left hand with six fingers? Had the Author had six fingers? Was it genetic? If so had her father had the extra one or was it someone else? He wanted to ask so badly but…

Mabel had told him when she came to get him that she’d found out that Billie’s Dad and Stan had grown up together. But did that mean that Stan had known the Author? If so was he hiding something else? He’d shown Stan the Journal, so that meant that Stan had seen the hand on the front. Was that why he’d taken it? Because it was from someone he knew? But even if he didn’t know anyone before Billie he would have realized she had six fingers just like the hand on the cover. Or was did he not notice it? No, Stan was a lot of things but stupid wasn’t one of them. He’d know about the weird things in the town but lied about it. He had promised no more secrets though. So maybe he could just ask Stan.

God, he had so many questions. But who should he ask? And would they even tell him the truth? Billie seemed nice enough but she also seemed….shady. He could be imagining things, but she seemed to be avoiding them. And she had taken off a few hours after she’d shown up and hadnt come back until like two in the morning. Could he trust her? Would she trust him? The Journal said Trust No One. If he showed her the Journal she might take it. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he could trust them.

He watched as she stood and tuned back in to what was going on around him. She excused herself and he watched her leave his mind racing only to have Stan cuff the back of his head lightly sending his hat down over his eyes

“Ow, what was that for?’ he demanded shoving his hat up as he turned to look at his Grunkle who scowled slightly.

“It’s rude to stare kid,” he rasped, “I know your parents taught you better then that. And say something for God’s sake. Billie asked you if you wanted another soda twice and your just sitting there gawking at her. Knock it off.” Dipper felt his cheeks redden a bit as his hand came up to rub the back of his neck.

“Oh….uuuhhh sorry. I was just…,” he stammered and Stan sighed as he took another bite of his chicken.

“You were staring at her hand like a weirdo, “ the older man told him, “She’s got an extra finger. Sure, it’s different but I’m sure she doesn't appreciate you acting like she’s some kind of weird alien. So knock it off,” he added and Dipper nodded feeling a bit embarrassed. Stan was right, it was rude of him. Maybe he was over thinking it. Maybe if he got to know Billie he could figure out what her connection to the Journal was and if he could trust her. Yeah, that seemed right.

~*~

“They’re gonna figure it out Stan,” Billie said as she took a drag off her smoke. They sat on the front porch the forest quiet around them and the kids long off to bed. Her knee bounced nervously as she pulled it up under her and she glanced over at the man who waved his hand dismissively his cigar trailing smoke as he did so.

“Yur bein’ paranoid kid,” he told her as he took a puff and rolled his eyes.

“Am I? I’ve met professional instigators that are less effective than Mabel and Dipper has spent three days staring at my hand,” she replied somewhat sharply and he rolled his eyes at her again.

“Mabel is like that with everyone. Seriously she knew everything about the mailman in her first 15 minutes at the shack,” he told her, “And Dipper is obsessed with anything that’s….different,” he added glancing at her hand as he tried to find a delicate word.

“Yeah, so if he’s obsessed how long is it gonna take him to figure out I hand six fingers and so did you?” she demanded rolling her eyes, “From there it’s a hop skip and ah’ jump away from figuring out that I’m related to you guys some how. And I told Mabel that my day grew up with you,” she growled.

“Look kid, they don’t know I had six fingers. If they did you can bet Dipper would have asked me all sorts of questions about it,” he assured her, “Hell, they don’t even know their grandpa and I even had another brother,” he added and she felt her face scrunch in confusion.

“They don’t know about Stanley? At all?” she asked and he shook his head his face going stony and his eyes closing off. He always did that when Stanley was mentioned.

“No, we don’t talk about him,” he told her and she felt her eyes narrow, “We all kind of pretend he didn’t exist. The kid’s Dad only met him twice when he was a baby, and given that Stanley was…,” he paused for a moment to find the words, “…worthless to the family we never mention him. So don’t worry about it, okay?” he growled sounding angry. Billie felt an uncomfortable twist in her stomach at the description of her father. She had figured that Stanley had been the black sheep just because of the way he lived, but she hadn’t thought that they would erase him. It felt so wrong, and she couldn’t help but wonder why.

Billie and Stan never really talked about her Father. The few times he’d come up Stanford always sounded sad and frustrated, changing the subject as quickly as he could. It had always seemed odd, but she had left it alone. But with how angry Stan sounded at the moment she suddenly had the urge to find out. When she had been tracking Stanley and then his brothers down she hadn’t dug too deeply into his personal life beyond his movements. While she possessed a copy of his extensive criminal record she hadn’t done more then skim it, but maybe she should. For all her laisezfaire attitude when she was in Gravity Falls she was damned good at her job, and when she decided to she could find anything about anyone.

“Okay,” she said evenly seeing it would be best to let sleeping dogs lie with Stan right now, “I’ll believe you,” she added and he nodded as he stubbed his cigar out before heaving himself up on his feet.

“Good, get some sleep kid,” he rumbled as he stretched his back popping loudly, “Soos is off tomorrow to see his girlfriend who’s up. I’m gonna need you to help run tours tomorrow,” he added and she flashed a smile and nodded.

“Sure thing Stanford. I’ve cooked up a few new tales for ‘em,” she said as he pushed the door open and stepped back into the Shack. Turning her eyes out to the forest she sat quietly her mind whirring to life as she began going back through everything she knew about her Father to decide where to start.

[allthevmff]

Marsh Mallow Wishes and Logan Dreams

by Irma66

Veronica was still sound asleep, flat on her stomach, spread into an X. For a tiny person, she took up a lot of room in their bed. With the coast clear, Duncan slid out from under the covers as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb her before he could see…well…before he could check.

In the bathroom, he took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling and scrunching his face tightly. “Not this morning, please,” he muttered, then looked down.

Crap. Third morning in a row. His flaccid penis had tiny black spots all over it, that were rough and loose as he took it in hand to do further inspection. Ugh. All over his nuts too. What the actual fuck?

Of course, he knew which actual fuck had done this. Damn Madison Sinclair. Why they’d bothered to go to the ten year high school reunion, he had no idea. Veronica hated nearly everyone in their class and the only real exceptions, Mac and Wallace, she saw fairly regularly without needing a Neptune High reunion to bring them together.  She’d argued long and hard against accepting the invitation, but his mom had insisted they come back to town when she heard about the reunion, and even though Veronica had threatened to make him go alone, eventually she’d caved.

And honestly, he wished she had stayed home. Because who else should decide to attend, but Logan? Logan Fucking Echolls, his once-upon-a-time best friend and the guy that Veronica almost ran off with in grad school, before Duncan convinced her that she’d never have a normal life with Logan. The reunion was supposed to be a good time, and the last thing Duncan needed was his wife watching Logan the whole night, but, tough shit, that’s what he got. Oh, except for the part where they danced. That was even worse. The look on Veronica’s face as she gazed up at fucking Logan, her arms loosely around his neck, Logan’s hands resting on her hips, that look is what drove him out of the ballroom and straight into Madison Sinclair.

The reunion wasn’t the first time he’d seen Madison.  She’d been working for the design company Kane Software used for renovations for several years, and somehow she got herself attached to decorating the Bay Area offices that he’d opened when Veronica refused to come back to Neptune after they graduated from Stanford. Madison had done pretty much everything short of taking her clothes off to entice him, making sure she was the one who’d decorated his office personally, bending over his desk to point out details on the plans in skirts that were barely there to begin with and got even shorter as she posed. 

He’d resisted the blatant come-ons, valiantly if he did say so himself, through all of that; he loved Veronica. Most guys wouldn’t have passed up that opportunity, but he wasn’t most guys and he wasn’t going to cheat on his wife. In fact, he’d made it a point to never even mention the presence of her old high school rival, in his office, nearly every day for months. Why bother her about it? But watching her look at Logan, with an expression that he’d never seen when she looked at him, he couldn’t take it anymore. When Madison had flounced in front of him out in the lobby, he’d stopped fighting fate. It’s Veronica’s own fault, he thought, as he followed Madison into a unisex bathroom and banged her between the towel dispenser and the urinal.

But now, a few weeks later…every morning, this weird black stuff all over his junk…what had she given him? Some kind of crabs? It washed off, but it kept coming back. He needed to see a doctor and get rid of this. He couldn’t pass it onto Veronica; then she’d know. He had no illusions that infidelity would be something she could forgive, although he was confident that even if Madison told her, Veronica wouldn’t believe her. An STD though? That would be proof.

A knock on the door and Veronica’s muffled voice jarred him from his tortured thoughts. “Duncan, honey?”

“Of course. I’m just getting in the shower.” He realized he was still clutching his penis in his hand and dropped it, grimacing at the black flecks all over his palm. He moved to the sink and rinsed them off. He didn’t want to spread whatever this was.

“No!” He shook his head, irritated at himself for shouting at her. “I mean, no, I’m just going to be quick and then I’m going into the office.”

“Got a lot of work, Veronica. Can’t be helped.” He turned the shower on. “Go back to bed, sweetheart. I’ll let you know before I leave.”

Duncan heard her sigh and then shuffle away from the door. He shook his head. He had to make a doctor’s appointment. Soon.

Veronica stopped to brush the loose black seeds out from between the sheets before she crawled back into bed. She should have known this was a stupid idea.

Seeing Logan at the reunion had apparently fried her brain if she was making choices like this. The jackass had actually tried to remind her how things were between them once upon a time.  And he’d actually made something of himself, so the fears that Duncan had preyed on when he convinced her that she needed to be with someone who was going to ‘buckle down’, it turned out that those fears were groundless. Truthfully, it could probably be said that Logan had made more of a mark than Duncan, since he hadn’t had his daddy’s business to join and his success was all his own.

Knock it off, Veronica. It wasn’t fair to Duncan to compare him to Logan. It wasn’t Duncan’s fault that his life had been mostly planned for him. It’s hard to get a fire in your belly to succeed when everything’s comfortable. Life had never been as comfortable for Logan, in spite of what most of the world thought about all the fame and fortune that had swirled around him continuously since birth.

He’d gotten to her though, as they danced, and he’d had the gall to ask her if she was truly happy with Duncan. If he made her feel how Logan used to make her feel. If he’d ever managed to make her…that was the point where she’d left him in the middle of the dance floor. Where did he get off talking about her sex life with her husband?

Of course, her husband had been nowhere to be found when she’d decided to storm away, so she’d had to cool off with Wallace and his crowd of jocks she didn’t know, to keep Logan from moving in on her again. Then, Duncan did show up and suddenly he wanted to leave. It was for the best anyway. Logan was still stalking around, giving her those ‘gimme a chance’ eyes that had worked on her a lifetime ago, but she was a married woman now, and despite what Logan might think, that was a real bond, and she wasn’t tempted by him anymore anyway. He wasn’t the only person capable of exciting her physically, okay, yes, he was the only person who had ever really excited her sexually, but she loved Duncan. Maybe he wasn’t a sexual dynamo, but he had other qualities.

But she could admit, to herself at least, that it was the thought of Logan that drove her to purchase the little bag of seeds. Not because he would ever need them, and certainly not with her, although who knew anyway, it had been three years since the last time they’d been…intimate, and maybe he did need them now. She’d heard that it happened to some guys, even at their age. Not Duncan, but he’d never been as…enthusiastic or frankly, interested, as Logan always had been. Duncan was more of a once every couple of weeks kinda guy, unlike Logan, who’d never missed any opportunity to get her naked and gasping and…oh fuck, just knock it off, Veronica.

Of course, the whole thing was actually Mindy’s fault anyway. She was the reporter who Veronica worked with most frequently and she’d brought Veronica along on a research mission for a piece on alternative medicine and folk healing.  It wasn’t exactly investigative journalism, but at least she was working. Duncan had tried to convince her to stop, but she was pretty sure he understood now that that wasn’t going to happen.  Most everything she worked on with Mindy was fluff anyway, so it wasn’t like she was going to accidentally uncover corruption by any of his friends. Not that Duncan would have friends like that. His dad might, but not Duncan. 

A week after the reunion, Veronica accompanied Mindy to a small spiritual and metaphysical supply shop in the heart of San Francisco. As Mindy questioned the shopkeeper with the highly dubious name of M’Beam (my given name is Moonbeam, but it’s so cliché) on alternative medicines and a holistic approach to life, Veronica crept around the store, looking for interesting shots. There weren’t a lot that would look very exciting in a photo, but she’d found a little book with page after page of crazy things that different plants could supposedly do and had chanced on a page for a plant called a Marsh Mallow, something she’d never heard of before, but that made her laugh, since that was Wallace’s joking nickname for her. Learning what the Marsh Mallow could do made her laugh again.

Steep the flowers and leaves in oil and apply to your skin before astral traveling.

I’ll be sure to do that, she thought.

Use for love spells and sex magick.

Does it somehow become real if you give the word magic a strange spelling?

Harvest seeds under a full moon to use for aphrodisiac oils and powders.

Seeds act as aphrodisiac when eaten by women.

But only when harvested under a full moon of course.

Sprinkle seeds on a man’s genitals to increase his sexual appetite.

That was the one that made her laugh out loud as she tried to picture Duncan sprinkling himself with seeds. She didn’t know what these seeds looked like specifically, but for some reason, the thought of Duncan with his privates covered in sunflower seeds kept recurring.

“What do you find so amusing?” She jumped at the shopkeeper’s voice. She hadn’t heard Mindy and the rather odd woman approach.

“I’m trying to decide if I know any guys who would sprinkle seeds on themselves to increase their sexual drive.”

“I highly doubt it,” Mindy said caustically. She said most things caustically, which is why she and Veronica got along so well. “Most men I know are pretty sure their drive is exactly where it should be. If you want less, you’re frigid. If you want more, you’re a slut. That’s why I mostly only fuck women these days.”

“Well, you'd need to feed these seeds to your girlfriends,” Veronica informed her. “The pharmacist’s instructions are taken by mouth for women, sprinkled on the junk for men.”

Mindy shook her head. “Nah. I don’t date women who need to be chemically enhanced, even natural chemicals. And no guy I know would agree to sprinkle himself with something. Again, they all think they’re perfect already.”

Veronica considered the two men she’d actually had sex with in her life. She had to admit, Duncan was exactly what Mindy was describing. He would never agree that maybe there could be a little more kick in their sex life. Logan though, he probably would let her sprinkle him with whatever she wanted, and then he’d go down on her, and make her scream his name, before letting her climb on top of him and... She shook her head. Knock it off, Veronica. Enhancing Logan would probably kill his partner. She fought a grin. Oh, but what a way to go.

“Generally, the sprinkling is done surreptitiously, with ground seeds,” M’Beam said. “You’re largely correct about many men’s interest in being enhanced, so sometimes you have to resort to, a little silent assistance.”

“They don’t notice the ground seeds on themselves?” Veronica asked, skeptical.

“If it works, no, probably not, and the seeds are not harmful when introduced to vaginal tissue.” Veronica blushed at what the woman was telling them. “If it doesn’t work, well, chances are the man isn’t going to notice before the powder falls off on its own.”

“Because he’s so sexually backward that he doesn’t even touch himself,” Mindy said, elbowing Veronica in the side. “Come on, get some.”

“I know that husband of yours can’t be any kind of sexual powerhouse. You’re way too frustrated all the time to be getting any good action. Give it a try.”

Veronica gasped. “Mindy! Don’t talk about Duncan like that.”

“You are not denying it.”

“I wouldn’t dignify this with a denial.” She slammed the book closed, glaring. “Are you done with the interview? I want to get home.”

“Not to get any,” Mindy mumbled under her breath and M’Beam tittered a nervous laugh. Veronica glared again and Mindy held up a placating hand.

“Look, I’m sorry, V, I went too far, as I often do.” Mindy made a face as she apologized, that made her look not as sorry as she probably should be.  “But come on, give it a try. I will if you will.” She threw her arm around Veronica’s shoulders. “I’m trying some of the other herbal supplements to see if they work for part of the story. Let’s try this one too.”

“It’s not right to drug someone secretly,” Veronica said, hoping that the moral high road might work when nothing else seemed to deter Mindy.

“You don’t have to. Take it yourself if you’d rather. See if it increases your drive.”

“And it’s not something that alters consciousness,” M’Beam added. “I fully concur with your reticence. I would never advocate for something that takes away someone’s free will.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing with this stuff?” Veronica volleyed back. “If they aren’t interested in having sex, isn’t an aphrodisiac taking the decision out of their hands?”

“Not the decision itself. The powder just gives them a heightened interest. It doesn’t necessarily mean they act on that interest.”

“Come oooonnnnnn.” Mindy’s wheedling tone earned her another glare, but honestly, this was part of the reason Veronica liked working with her. She reminded her a little of Lilly, with her refusal to ever take no for an answer.

“All right, fine. It wouldn’t hurt either of us if Duncan was…a little more avid, in the bedroom.”

Don’t you mean a little more like Logan? The voice in her head was really starting to piss her off. No. Knock it off, Veronica.

“That’s the spirit, V. We should never stop trying new things.”

A week later, Veronica shook her head at how dumb this idea had been. She’d chosen Duncan, not Logan, so why all of a sudden was she trying to turn the man she married into the one she hadn’t? She flicked another bit of seed dust off the bed. This is just from seeing Logan again at the reunion.  She’d known it was a sucky idea to go there in the first place. She’s nearly talked Duncan out of it when Celeste got wind of a way to get her precious son back in the hellhole that was Neptune. All that had come of it was Logan in her head again, with those puppy dog eyes, trying to remind her why they were so good together. But life wasn’t just sex. It was responsibilities, and obligations, and the paths chosen. Crap, that sounds grim. It was about the people in her life too, and how to make them happy, and her happy as well. And she was happy. Right?

Duncan came out of the bathroom then, a towel around his waist, and his eyes widened at the sight of her, sitting up, leaning against the headboard. 

“I thought you were going back to sleep.”

“No. I’ve got some photos to print for a project with Mindy. I might as well get up.” She flipped the covers back and cringed at the sight of more of the seed powder on the sheets. She apparently hadn’t been very careful last night when she sprinkled the powder on the sleeping Duncan. She slid over to the side of the mattress, hoping he wouldn’t notice as she brushed it off.

“Veronica, no!” Her head snapped up as he darted toward her. “Don’t touch that.”

“Dammit.” He grabbed the comforter and pulled it back over the loose dust. “Look, I’m so sorry.” He dropped onto the bed, basically holding the bedding in place over the evidence of her silly gameplaying.

“You’re sorry? Why are you sorry?”

“I…I didn’t mean for you to find out. It was just once and it really wasn’t my fault. I mean, you were dancing with Logan, and I just felt like—”

“Hang on.” Veronica pushed back to her original spot, putting some distance between them. “What are you talking about?

“You saw that black stuff.”

“I was just going to get it taken care of. No need for you to find out and be upset. And I’ve been very careful not to do anything that could infect you too.” He looked at her sadly, his lower lip pouting out. “The last couple nights especially were hard. I felt like…” His voice trailed off.   

“You felt like what?” Did this dumb stuff work after all?

“Doesn’t matter. Look, I’m going to call the doctor. Whatever I’ve got, I’m sure some antibiotics will clear it right up.”

Veronica froze, not sure what she was hearing. “What do you mean? What do you have?”

“I don’t know. I can only guess it’s like some kind of crabs or something.”

What the fuck? He thinks the black dust is coming from him? “Why would you have crabs, Duncan?”

“Look, I’m sorry, but it was just that one time, and it was Logan’s fault.”

“Logan gave you crabs?” What the actual fuck?

“Veronica!” He sounded scandalized. “I’m not into guys.”

She did not understand where the sense of calm came from, but she was grateful for it as she sorted through this mess. “Then who gave you crabs, Duncan? And how was it Logan’s fault?”

“You were watching him all night, and then you were dancing with him, and the way he looks at you...it’s not right that he should look at my wife like he’s in love with her. People will start talking.”

“So what, pray tell, did you do to get back at Logan for looking at me?”

He looked at her apprehensively, and she gave him an encouraging smile, then patted his hand. She really wanted to know what he did.

“If you hadn’t been looking at him…” He paused, like he was considering how much to try to blame her for whatever indiscretion he was trying to confess. “You know, we shouldn’t even have gone to that reunion.”

“I completely agree. Which is why I said that about a thousand times. But you wanted to go.”

“I didn’t expect Logan to show up.”

“What did you do while I danced with my ex-boyfriend, Duncan?”

“He’s my ex-friend.” Now he wants to debate semantics?

“True. An event that occurred around the time I started dating him, as I recall. Before you convinced me that he was unstable and untrustworthy and that I should come back to you.” She gave him a flat stare. She was done trying to charm the truth out of him. “So what did you do?”

“I had sex with Madison Sinclair, and she apparently gave me some STD, and now you’re going to leave me, and it’s all Logan’s damn fault.”

At Madison’s name, her mouth fell open, shock and disgust flooding her. At Logan’s name, it snapped shut, teeth knocking together sharply. She nodded, then flipped the covers back on her side of the bed and climbed out.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said as she went to her closet.

“Aren’t you mad?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes, but not as much as I would have expected.” She wriggled into a pair of underwear and then tugged jeans on over them. “It’s good that you shared this.”

He stood and walked toward her slowly. “Yeah. Honesty’s important in a relationship. We can get past this; I know we can.”

She grabbed a blouse and shrugged into it, not bothering with a bra. “Yeah, we’ll get past this. Not to worry.” She slipped her feet into her shoes, then turned toward him. “Get your antibiotics, Donut. I’ll be back for my stuff in a couple of days. I’ll let you know when, and then, please don’t be here.”

“Veronica, no!” He rushed at her then, hands outstretched, but she dodged him and grabbed her bag, then headed for the front door.  “Come on, Veronica, give me a chance.”

She stopped at the coat closet and grabbed her leather jacket. “You know what, I really do need to thank you, Duncan. You’ve made me realize something I’ve been trying not to admit for a long time.” She dropped her bag at her feet to pull the jacket on. “It has been Logan all along. That used to scare me, a lot, and when you tried to convince me he was a mistake for me, I let you, because it gave me an excuse to play things safe. But the last couple of years with you…they were the mistake. If he still wants me…I’m going to try to fix that. Convince him he didn’t make a mistake too, when he chose me.”

She grabbed her bag and spun for the door, but his voice stopped her.

“He’ll never make you happy, Veronica.”

She looked at Duncan and smiled. “I think you’re wrong, Duncan, and I’m willing to take that chance.”

“Hold your horses, I’m coming.”

Logan wasn’t sure who was at his door, but they were very insistent. He’d ignored the first knocks, not being particularly interested in company, but when it continued, he finally decided to answer it and cuss the pesky intruder out. That might make him feel better. His bad idea to attend his class reunion almost a month earlier had put him in a perpetual bad mood. Knock it off, Logan, you know what’s got you in a bad mood.

He flung the door open, ready to launch into a tirade, but he was stunned into silence at the sight of the source of his bad mood herself.   

“Hi,” Veronica said, and like magic, the bad mood lifted.

“Hi.” He couldn’t really move, but when she smiled, he reflexively smiled back.

“Any chance you’ll let me in?”

“Every chance in the world.”

via AO3 works tagged 'Veronica Mars - All Media Types' https://ift.tt/2YAW4t9 March 30, 2019 at 04:52AM

[nickreposted]

nicreations shared this story from Atlas Obscura - Latest Articles and Places. A Commodore 64 computer. (Photo: Luca Boldrini/CC BY 2.0) A version of this post originally appeared on Tedium, a twice-weekly newsletter that hunts for the end of the long tail.  Back in the early ’90s, it wasn’t a sure thing that Microsoft Windows was going to take over the market, even though they had a clear lead over many of their competitors, thanks to MS-DOS. In fact, one of the iconic GUI-based experiences of the era, AOL, hedged its bets for a while, creating and maintaining a DOS version of its iconic pseudo-internet software using a graphical user interface platform few were familiar with: GeoWorks. It was an operating system for an era when it wasn’t even a sure thing we’d have a modem. And it was absurdly lightweight, something it gained from its earliest form—as GEOS (Graphical Environment Operating System), an operating system option for the Commodore 64. The platform, built by Berkeley Softworks—not to be confused with Berkeley Systems, which built the famous “flying toasters” screensaver—was one of the most popular pieces of software on Commodore 64 for a time, thanks to the fact that it was very functional and worked on very inexpensive hardware. “GEOS did not pioneer the GUI; most of its features were already present in the larger OSes of the day, like the classic Mac (albeit, not Windows),” writer Kroc Camen wrote of GEOS for OS News back in 2006. “What GEOS did show is that cheap, low-power, commodity hardware and simple office productivity software worked. You did not need a $2,000 machine to type a simple letter and print it.” The operating system eventually moved to the PC in the early ’90s in a more advanced form, and Berkeley Softworks changed its name to GeoWorks. I had some experience with Commodore 64 thanks to a childhood friend of mine who owned one and let me mess around with it a bit, but ultimately, I caught onto the PC version of GeoWorks because it came bundled with a 386 I used when I was a kid. That computer wasn’t super-fast—what, with its 40-megabyte hard drive and one megabyte of RAM—and, as a result, it really benefited from the lightweight, object-oriented approach of GeoWorks. The operating system took up maybe 10 of those megabytes, tops. And in an era where connecting to the wider world wasn’t really a big thing, the simplicity of the format was actually kind of nice. Among the more interesting things about the platform: Different interfaces for different skill levels: DOS was not a simple operating system for novices to jump into, and GeoWorks Ensemble made an effort to ensure it was more approachable. It offered two different tiers of usage—“appliances” and “professional,” along with a shell to jump into DOS programs, so you could play Commander Keen without a problem if you really wanted to. For people who had never used a PC before, the strategy was perfect—it had built-in training wheels. Built-in office tools: The software included a variety of apps that were roughly comparable to anything you could find on other operating systems, such as the Mac including a word processor, calendar, and spreadsheet. It also included a Print Shop Pro-style banner-maker, which came in handy if you owned a dot-matrix printer. Overall, these offerings were great for home users, an audience that Microsoft hadn’t really emphasized early on in Windows’ history. It wasn’t as flashy as, say, Microsoft Bob, but it worked a lot better. Geoworks’ welcome page. (Photo: Ernie Smith) Strong capabilities, low power: But the best part of GeoWorks was the fact that it worked well without really strong hardware. Windows 3.1 really needed a 486 to shine, but GeoWorks could effectively run on a 286 or 386 without any problem. It was stable, and despite the fact that (like early versions of Windows) it was essentially a graphical shell for DOS, it rarely ran into hiccups. The software had a cult fanbase, especially among German computer users, who have done a lot to keep its memory alive. And Quantum Computer Services, another company that had built early success on the Commodore 64, saw GeoWorks as its opportunity to dive into the PC sphere, launching its first online network for IBM’s PS/1 line of computers. “The Promenade interface makes it easy for all family members to use the services, without dealing with the frustrations of complicated commands and functions,” Quantum Executive Vice President Steve Case said in a 1990 press release. “Yet the software is advanced enough to satisfy experienced users of online services.” Within a year, the platform had been reworked into America Online, a company Case famously led throughout the ’90s, and within a decade, the company would be in the middle of an audacious merger with Time Warner—with AOL as one of the defining programs of the Windows era. GeoWorks had AOL before it was cool—a golden opportunity to take over the home PC market, especially as AOL’s early disks essentially included barebones versions of GeoWorks. That essentially allowed modem owners toget a taste of GeoWorks for free. But that wasn’t enough. Beyond AOL, GeoWorks had few third-party apps. Part of the reason for this was that, early on, you needed a Sun workstation to develop software for the platform, a deeply ironic requirement—essentially, you needed a $7,000 computer to develop software for low-end PCs, which meant mom-and-pop shops had no chance to even get on board. At the time, Microsoft was releasing Windows-native development platforms like Visual Basic to win over small developers. But those limitations could have been dealt with, honestly, if the desktop operating system itself gained a significant audience. Even GeoWorks’ biggest fans knew it didn’t stand a chance against Windows, due to Microsoft’s already-established goodwill. “I feel badly that this truly amazing program will never be given a chance, as IBM and Microsoft would never allow it,” one such fan wrote to PC Magazine in 1991. “I hope that software developers will see Ensemble’s amazing potential and will begin developing it. Without third-party developers, Ensemble will never survive.” Microsoft was standing on the shoulders of giants. GeoWorks could barely even reach the ankles. An old IBM PS/2 with an Intel 386 processor. (Photo: Wolfgang Stief/CC BY 2.0) But even though GeoWorks failed to win over PC users won over by Windows, the operating system still had a little life in its bones. That’s because, ultimately, operating systems often live multiple lives even if they fail. They show up in random places, because the software is still useful in certain cases. Palm’s sadly-discarded webOS, for example, currently drives LG’s smart televisions. GEOS was much the same way. Like a cow shoved through the food manufacturing process and split into a million pieces, parts of GEOS showed up in the ingredient lists of all sorts of weird products. Among the places where GEOS showed its bones: Personal digital assistants: Before Palm Computing founder Jeff Hawkins came up with the PalmPilot, he formulated an early take on the platform using a stripped-down version of GEOS. The Tandy Zoomer, which came out in 1993, wasn’t a hit, but the collaboration with GeoWorks, Tandy, and Casio proved informative for Hawkins and his team. It helped set the stage for the first truly successful PDA a few years later—one that didn’t use GEOS. (Not to be outdone, Hewlett-Packard created a PDA for the platform itself.) Early smartphones: GEOS’ role in the mobile revolution wasn’t limited to Palm. In the late ’90s, the operating system was a key part of the Nokia 9000 Communicator, one of the earliest smartphones, and one that was well-loved. It was capable of basic word-processing, graphical web-browsing, and could even edit a spreadsheet. For those perks, it wasn’t cheap, costing $800 at launch, and it was Zack Morris huge. “Modern users take features like mobile email and web browsing for granted, but the Nokia 9000 Communicator was the first device to offer these in a single device,” tech writer Richard Baguley wrote on Medium in 2013. “It may have been a bulky, clunky device, but we still miss it.” A Nokia 9000 Communicator. (Photo: textlad/CC BY 2.0) Electronic typewriters: The ’90s were a bad time to be a typewriter-maker, and Brother was not well-positioned to handle the internet revolution. But it did have something up its sleeve: GEOS. The company collaborated with GeoWorks on a set of printer variations that added basic word processing and desktop publishing capabilities to the mix. They were still typewriters, but they did slightly more interesting things than write type. Primitive netbooks: Brother’s interest in GEOS didn’t just extend to typewriters; it saw GEOS as an opportunity to bring “computing to the masses,” as one press release put it. In 1998, years after GEOS had faded from view for just about everyone else, the typewriter company launched an alternative platform—the $500 GeoBook, a low-power laptop that preceded the rise of netbooks by about a decade. It could surf the web and had much of the software available in the DOS version of GeoWorks, but it didn’t have a hard drive, which helped keep the price down. And much like netbooks, reviewers hated them. “For the price of this unit, you can easily find a discontinued, refurbished or used Windows computer and maybe even a new one. It will do hundreds of things that this machine cannot dream of,” a negative 1998 New York Times review explained. There aren’t any crazy GEOS projects like this nowadays that I’m aware of, but hey, maybe it’s running an ATM somewhere. Despite the number of extra lives GeoWorks has had, the outlook of the platform looks more dire than ever in 2016. This is partly due to the complicated corporate history around GEOS. After the company that created the software dissolved in the late ’90s, the technology was sold off to a firm named NewDeal, which built an office suite out of GEOS, one that looked a lot like Windows 95 and took away a lot of the platform’s unique charm. At one point, the operating system was owned by Ted Turner’s son, who attempted to run a low-cost PC company called MyTurn.com, with the GeoWorks software as its centerpiece. (When Teddy Turner ran for Congress in 2013, his MyTurn.com days came back to haunt him.) Eventually, the operating system ended in the hands of a company called Breadbox, which had essentially treated GeoWorks as a volunteer upkeep project, with the eventual goal of turning the GEOS into an educational software platform that worked in tandem with Android. But recently, Breadbox went into hibernation. In November, founder Frank S. Fischer died unexpectedly as they were in the midst of creating a version of the software for tablets. John F. Howard, his longtime partner on Breadbox, is currently working on next steps, talking things over with Fischer’s family as well as other developers who are interested in the platform. “There are still some legal issues to resolve, but I am confident that there is still some life in the GEOS code,” he wrote on the Breadbox website last month.  A version of this post originally appeared on Tedium, a twice-weekly newsletter that hunts for the end of the long tail. 

http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-history-of-geoworks-microsoft-windows-upstart-90s-competitor

[pendragon50]

A Teacher’s Love (Pendragon fanfic)

Chapter 1: A Teacher’s Past (part 3)

As he grew older and entered his teenage years, he was met with the realization that the Patrick Mac he'd known as a child had yet to fade. Instead of throwing fists of anger and participating in the typical truth-or-dare events, or attending parties and experimenting with drugs, sex or alcohol, he remained outside the circle. He'd hear the stories of violent fights that would arise at these gatherings, where the police would occasionally end up becoming involved. That alone was enough to convince him that no matter how much others would persuade him into joining, it was better to stay true to who he was.

Unfortunately, that meant questions would get thrown at him, to which he would give the same answers to, time and time again.

"I don't get it, Patrick," one guy would say, shrugging his shoulders in confusion. "Don't you want to get out and…have some fun?"

"I-I just don't really do parties," he'd reply awkwardly, keeping his eyes on the floor.

He knew his friends weren't trying to make him feel bad, but there was no denying that he was recognizing more and more each day how different he really was. Compared with the rest of Madderson High, he just didn't have that same sense of "party" in him that seemed so prevalent in the teenage population.

It was one of the reasons he felt himself growing apart from who he'd thought had become his friends. But it was all too obvious their interests had changed with age, and Patrick just wasn't changing in the same manner that so many others were.

"Why not?" another girl would ask, only adding to the increasing awkwardness closing in on Patrick. "Everyone loves a party."

Not knowing how to respond, all he could do was start to answer, but the words would get so tangled up that all he would manage to get out was, "Uhh…" He could never find it in himself to come right out and speak the truth without feeling that weight of awkwardness pressing down on him.

"Come on, man!" he'd hear a voice say, and feel a hand giving him a light clap on the shoulder. "Get out and have some fun! What's holding you back?"

Finally, Patrick would find his voice once more to tell them while working hard not to let that awkward feeling take over, "Thanks, guys, but…you go on without me, really." After pausing briefly, he'd then add while shifting his gaze uncomfortably, "I-I think I'll just stay home and study."

"Don't you wanna get out of the house though?" a guy would ask. With a little grin, he'd then nudge him in the arm while saying with a wink, "Who knows? Might meet a girl…" Patrick had a pretty good idea as to what the guy was really suggesting; he knew how the minds of so many guys operated.

The truth was, Patrick felt so occupied with his academic life that he really didn't spend much time dwelling on the fact that he didn't have a girlfriend...and never had. Nor had he ever kissed a girl, danced with a girl, or even held a girl's hand. It occurred to him that perhaps girls just didn't care for a shy, geeky guy who spent hours huddled over books instead of attending the latest parties and keeping up with the social world. Maybe to them, he was all but a boring teenage guy who just didn't know how to have a great time.

I'm just not like other guys, Patrick would think. Where he liked learning, studying, reading as much as he possibly could and challenging his own mind, the majority of guys found school tedious and didn't care to study and read. Their distracted minds were spent elsewhere.

What he didn't understand was why such a vast majority felt so pressured into needing a girlfriend or boyfriend while in high school. Too frequently, he'd seen students hooking up solely due to physical attraction and naturally, such relationships just didn't last. Of course, he knew the raging hormones played quite the role in all of that, but regardless, he just didn't feel that same need to jump right into a relationship.

Besides, what was wrong with waiting till he was older anyway? At sixteen, he had to focus on completing high school and earning the best grades he could if he hoped on being accepted into university. That was only the second stepping-stone in his academic life. He'd then need to strive in working towards finding the one career that would be calling to him.

No, he knew there was no rush for love. He might not have been familiar with the immense world of love, but he did know enough from what he'd observed so far in life that it could be a pretty complicated thing. Based on that, he didn't mind waiting to see what life would have to offer. Not only that, but he knew there were all sorts of love, but the one that seemed most special of all was what they called true love. He knew it was real, as he saw it every day from his parents. When it was alive and strong, there was no mistaking it for anything else in the world.

As for him, he kept reminding himself that if he were meant to find true love, then it would be found.

"I think I'll just do some studying," Patrick would repeat, finding it hard to look them all in the eye.

"Studying?" a girl exclaimed. "Why? I mean, why spend the whole weekend studying? That's no fun! You'll go stir crazy."

"Just come with us. You know you want to."

"Come on, Patrick!"

"It's fine, guys," Patrick would say, refraining from biting his lip. "I-I really do have stuff to do this weekend."

They knew there was no changing Patrick's mind. When he had hid mind set on something, it was practically impossible to talk him out of it.

After staring at him with odd expressions for a moment longer, the small group exchanged looks, then turned and left for class.

"Well…have fun studying then," Patrick would hear them say.

Glancing back at them, once more he was struck with the recognition of the unmistakable differences between he and his friends. That…and the fact that he just didn't quite belong in this realm that was High School. All the drama, rumours, parties and thrill-seekers just wasn't what Patrick Mac was looking for.

Because of that, he often felt rather alone. Small and insignificant even.

I'm just not like anyone else, I guess, he'd think, lost in his ocean of thoughts. Just a guy named Patrick Mac.

So for the four years while he was advancing through Madderson High, he continued being Patrick Mac. He spent much of his time in the library completing assignments, research projects and studying for end-of-the-term examinations. Ever since he'd been shown the amazing complexity of the online world of computers, he'd been hooked. The technologically advanced system they had with computers in the forty-ninth century was all but astounding. Every bit of information was at their very fingertips with a press of some buttons and some verbal commands. It hadn't taken Patrick long at till he was searching away and interfacing with the computers as if it were second nature to him.

It was during his time in high school that he learned something very important about himself.

It was while he was at the library – any library – that he experienced a sense of belonging.

It was a place he felt truly confident in. It was where all doubts and insecurities could be washed away so his inner confidence could shine through.

It was a place he could call…home.

As he expected, his high school years flew by in a speeding blur. One moment he was in the tenth grade, and the next it was graduation day, and he was leaving his high school life. It came as no surprise to anyone that Patrick graduated at the top of his class in each subject, achieved high honours in every year, earned the highest overall academic average of 95% and would be awarded with a scholarship of twenty-five hundred dollars in recognition of his academic excellence.

When his name was called and he made his way across the stage wearing his gown and cap to receive his diploma, his parents couldn't have been any prouder.

"He works so hard," his mother uttered softly to her husband, her voice swelling with pride. "He always has."

Her husband met her gaze, smiled with equal pride and answered, "Yeah, he does. I can't think of a single day where he wasn't working away at something. I've never seen anyone so dedicated. He's got a passion for learning, that's for sure."

"He's grown up so fast," she commented, tears welling in her eyes. They were tears filled with a mixture of emotions – pride, joy and a bit of sadness. "Seems like just yesterday he was reading his first book, or getting on the bus for the first time….now he's off to university."

"Hey, are those tears?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her.

She chuckled, and pressed her head against her husband's. "Yes, it's expected that a mother's going to cry at her only son's graduation, dear."

"I suppose so," he smiled, kissing her lightly on the forehead. "Don't worry, though. He's growing up, but he'll always be your little boy. He'll venture off and find his place in the world, but he'll never be gone."

"My little Pat," she said, recalling all the precious memories of her son when he'd been young.

"It's funny," she heard her husband say. "He never liked being called Pat but he didn't seem to mind when you called him it."

"Yeah, you're right," she answered, then went on, "It's crazy."

"What is?"

"How fast time goes."

"It is. One minute we're celebrating his first birthday, the next…he's done high school. Hard to believe, really."

He watched his now graduated son walk off the stage, diploma in hand and a big smile on his face. When he turned and looked to the right, he stopped for a moment when he noticed his parents sitting in the front row. He broke out in an even bigger smile and gave them a little wave as he went and took his seat amongst the other students.

Now that Patrick would be putting his high school days behind him, he knew where his next stop would take him.

University.