#dennis’s true feelings are at play here

[gregmarriage]

always sunny was actually soooo sick for having dee tell mac that he should get a boyfriend (while glancing at dennis)

then, literally the NEXT season, mac has a boyfriend and it’s DENNIS.

except, it’s dennis posing as someone else, and getting jealous of HIMSELF. truly incredible television fr

[hungiehipo]

Macdennis timeline

Macdennis

The 16 season long situationship filled to the brim with sociopathic tendencies, mutual abuse, and disorganized attachment between a man burdened by Catholic guilt who doesn't want love unless it hurts and a deeply dissociated man who can't be authentic unless he's immersed in a facade. And they were roommates.

What can be said that hasn't been said before? Probably nothing... still here's this.

S1-S4 PRE-MACDENNIS

This is before Mac and Dennis find themselves unwittingly thrust into a relationship neither is aware of. There is a homoerotic undertone, albeit usually as more of a joke than anything else. Neither has realized that their feelings for the other goes beyond friendship.

(Season 1 ep 1) Famous tequila scene.

(season 3 ep 4) Mac says I love you to Dennis.

(season 3 ep 15) gang dances their asses off macs dance pantomiming blowing Dennis.

(season 4 ep 1) Man hunters. Dennis puts his balls in Mac's mouth when he's sleeping, and mac shaves his pubes and glues them to Dennis' face.

(season 4 ep 4) Charlie asks Dennis if he still gets the feeling Mac wants to bang them, and that's why Mac makes project badass, Dennis agrees.

(season 4 ep 13) Nightman cometh. Mac gets a boner when Dennis' character pantomimes sex with him in the play. Dennis rips macs heart out (this comes back later)

S5-S7 MACDENNIS INTENTIONAL

Season 5 Macdennis hits like a truck. Dennis has feelings and they are BIG. We the audience witness a masterful display of homoerotic desire wrapped in a stunning amount of cognitive dissonance until "breakup" where Dennis is forced to confront the reality of his feelings. Following this crucial turning point, we are treated to a series of back and forth assertions of no-homo, feelings getting hurt, and lashing out. In order, we get Dennis introducing the dennis system, mac fighting gay marriage, Dennis getting married and kicking Mac out of the apartment, and finally Dennis getting a divorce.

Things are notably different between them post-divorce, marked by a mutual retreat from both Mac and Dennis. There's a shared reluctance to appear overly invested in each other romantically. This dynamic persists into Season 7, where Mac and Dennis noticeably maintain a considerable distance compared to previous seasons. In my honest opinion, this season exhibits the least Macdennis of any. Dennis being unhappy with Mac's weight gain likely contributes to this.

(Season 5 episode 1) Dennis suggests that they pretend to be gay married realtors. Some will say that being gay married was not essential to the scheme. Some would even say that to sell the being married thing Dennis did NOT have to be that touchy touchy. Source of baby boy nickname that has penetrated every corner of AO3 macden fanfiction.

(season 5 episode 8) PADDY'S THONG DUDE!!! PADDY'S THONG! I'm not wearing these because I'm comfortable I'm wearing them cause i wanna turn YOU on, you know what I'm saying??? you get it???

Mac jerks off a shotgun and blows its load in a kneeling dennis' gaping mouth.

(season 5 episode 9) They break up. In the podcast they say that this is a romcom. Dee points out that they act like an old married couple. Realization dawns on dennis's face and he proceeds to freak the hell out. Why? I mean... he knew it was true. We learn that they have a weekly movie night. Mac is jealous of video store clerk guy. We learn that they check in. Deleted scene at the end has Dennis blurting out that Mac has "beautiful lips" and again looking horrified.

(season 5 ep 10) Immediately after break up Dennis introduces his fool proof system for attracting WOMeN with big BIG BOOB for SEX.

(season 6 ep 1) Mac goes on a rampage against gay marriage after just last season being fake gay married to dennis. Dennis immediately gets married and kicks Mac out of the apartment. (Dennis also says he doesn't "have feelings", which Mac internalizes and it comes back in season 12)

(season 6 ep 2) dennis immediately divorces said woman and lets his boy toy (his words) come home.

radio silence all of season 7 except....

(season 7 ep 1) They go to the doctor, mac tries to carry dennis out bridal style. Dennis eats a chimichanga with Mac (romantic).

(season 7 ep 6) cold open, Dennis is holding Macs forearm while they watch the TV.

-season 7 we also learn that Mac slept with Dennis' prom date and it was very easy.

S8-S9 The kiss, the date, and the platonic naked wrestling shower scene

I believe this is the point where Mac starts to get the feeling something is off. (Again, Dennis realized in season 5). Mac has far more dissonance about it though, he like just wants to be best bros with Dennis for life, cause Dennis is like soooo cool. He is definitely not in love with Dennis he just loves Dennis like, as a blood brother. HE IS NOT GAY BECAUSE THAT IS A SIN. HE SERIOUSLY LOVES GOD A LOT.

In Season 8's Dines out Dennis delivers a speech wherein he admits that he thinks of Mac as a man who knows exactly who he is. Season 9's Mac day shows the total elimination of this belief after a full day filled with Macs self hating homophobia contrasting with his out and proud cousin "country mac".

(Season 8 ep 2) Whelp, God only knows how we ended up here after a drought like season 7, but 8 kicks off with a bang with an out of nowhere kissing attempt from Mac… right in front of Charlie too. By the look on Dennis' face I'm going to guess this has never happened before. I genuinely wonder what compelled him to do this…. like….is he just always thinking about it and forgot hes not supposed to do it for real? was it instinct?

(Season 8 ep 6) Dennis deals with emotional numbness, and nothing he tries makes him feel anything until the end of the episode where he feels too much after seeing his dead mother. This is not overtly macdennis but I think it demonstrates how he struggles with emotion and why Mac believes that Dennis does not have feelings.

(season 8 episode 9) Mac and Dennis are going on a fancy dinner date every single month. Monthly dinner and weekly movie nights.... anyway. Mac is upset that Dennis won't say something nice to him so Dennis does a speech to the whole restaurant. Yes he did kinda do it to dunk on frank and charlie. Yes he loved the attention. I think he meant what he said.

(season 8 episode 10) Dennis gets turned on by Mac totally intellectually dominating him while giving his anti science presentation. Also in the car at the end Mac was flirting.

(season 9 episode 3) Mac day. Praise God. Dennis is drowning in a sea of Macs delusion. Mac believes himself to be totally badass and not at all gay while repeatedly demonstrating the opposite. Country Mac shows Dennis what Mac could be if he was all the things he said he was and just embraced that he was gay. Dennis resents Mac.

(season 9 episode 6) saves the day. Macs fantasy involves Dennis wailing over his corpse, proclaiming his love. Dennis' fantasy is interesting, revealing his fear that Mac would abandon him the moment his sexual appeal fades. He envisions the possibility of being loved for more than his sexual abilities, yet his declaration of love precludes Jackie being hit by a car, leading to the loss of her breasts, and Dennis choosing to leave her. Lot to unpack here.

(season 9 episode 8) Mac and Dennis are trying to catch a rat. Mac tries to bash the rat, but Dennis says that its not about brute force, its about seduction. He turns on some romantic music and they both sway back and forth, looking into each others eyes, Mac takes a step forward, but Dee enters the room and the second dennis sees her he spins around and walks away.

I also feel the need to point out that Mac and Dennis went to high school together, and Macs nickname in high school was....well... Ronnie the rat.

(season 9 episode 9) Mac writes into the script of lethal weapon a scene where he and Dennis, I kid you not, wrestle naked in a shower. If you can call it wrestling... though it's more accurately described as an opportunity for an intense, naked embrace.

(season 9 episode 10) Cute food fight scene. Their apartment burns down.

s10-11 Out of their natural environment

Following the incineration of their shared home, macdennis moves in with Dee and all three of them hate it so so much.

(season 10 episode 1) Dennis looks at Mac like he wants to eat him (4 min 24 seconds) Mac says wait Dennis don't go and Dennis turns like he's expecting.... I don't know.

(season 10 episode 5) Mac and Dennis take turns watching and jacking off to creampie videos. Some will say they could just find their own porn, however I think this is one of the numerous creative ways they've found to have a sex life with each other.

(season 10 ep 3) Dennis is diagnosed with BPD.

(season 10 ep 6) The gang embarks on a journey of independence, only to discover that their lives are intricately woven together. For better or worse they will never escape each other, and will likely live this way until they die.

(season 10 episode 10) Dennis creates an entire fake cult to get Mac to do things he wants him to do. Says Macs been looking so good so sexy lately *manipulative*

(season 11 episode 4) Mac turns off the video Dee made about Dennis being raped by the librarian.

(season 11 episode 5) Macdennis play house. Mac asks Dennis if he can hear the beep too, Dennis gaslights him and says no, meanwhile getting increasingly agitated by the pool filter. It's already been explained more better by others but basically this is a metaphor for Mac wanting Dennis to acknowledge what has been happening between them, while Dennis adamantly avoids doing so. Instead, he channels his frustrations into unrelated problems.

Dennis hates going to work alone all day and Mac hates staying home, which could easily be fixed by having Mac come to work with him. Instead, Dennis' solution is a "honey-do list" (a list of chores a man would give his wife) and a dog, which Mac names DENNIS JR. (parallel to Dennis' real kid who is named Brian Jr. ) This kind of relationship paralleling is a recurring theme; for example in gets romantic, double life, and celebrity booze).

In the beginning of the episode Dennis wants to listen to Bryan Adams in the car. At the end of the episode Mac confronts him by saying "everything I do I do it for you, and everything you do you do it for yourself". (referencing the title of a very romantic Bryan Adams song)

dennis says he hates him

(season 11 ep 6) Mac asks Frank if he thinks Dennis hates him, because he just wants him to think he's cool and he puts so much work into this relationship and *unintelligible* (seriously if anyone know what Mac is saying when Frank spaces out please message me)

(season 11 ep 8) Dennis also knows about the gay bar

(Season 11 ep 10) 🎵 Amazing Grace how sweet the sauce 🎵

Mac comes out. When they play fake dinner Mac talks about him and Dennis' future home where they will have dinner parties and touches Dennis' hand. Confused, Dennis questions the idea of it being "their" home, seemingly operating under the misconception that he and Mac might eventually part ways and not continue living together.

Mac prays to god that they be saved and after being rescued he goes back into the closet.

s12 Mac claims to be gay and Dennis leaves the state of Pennsylvania

Season 12 is my favorite season!

Mac comes out, has a gay dream, gives Dennis a present, tries to insert himself as 2nd father of Dennis' child, and is swiftly abandoned.

Things start to get a little too real for Dennis, and hes just a little too vulnerable. Perfectly it turns out he has an opportunity to live the typical nuclear family lifestyle he's envisioned for himself and escape all his troubles.

(season 12 episode 6) Gay Mac rules! rich gay Mac!

The watershed moment wherein Mac comes out as gay for real this time. Dennis is beyond shocked.

(season 12 episode 7) Mac fully grasps that his feelings for Dennis are romantic after having a dream where Dennis kisses him. Upon waking he goes to find Dennis. Again Dennis dances towards him and leans in, Macs eyes light up thinking that his dream is coming true but Dennis slams the door in his face.

(season 12 ep 8) Dennis wants to completely ignore Valentines day because he doesn't think he has anybody who really cares about/loves him. Everyone in the gang openly states that they don't think he has feelings.

At the end of the ep. Mac has Dennis open a crate, which turns out to be an RPG (something that Dennis thinks is awesome and talks about all the time), and he tears up, he's incredibly touched. When Mac says there is no rocket (rendering the gift effectively useless) Dennis says he doesn't care, he loves it. Mac figured out the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world and got it for him. This is likely not referring to the RPG but instead to the fact that he wanted someone to show him that they love him/care about him.

(season 12 ep 10) Dennis is revealed to have a son with Mandy, a woman who he had sex with on his layover from the wade boggs episode. To get him out of this jam Mac suggests they pretend to be in a relationship. Dennis, reluctantly going along with the plan, tells Mandy he sleeps with women but he is emotionally invested with Mac. When she is fine with it and says she wouldn't mind Brian Jr. having two dads, Mac enthusiastically agrees to parent Dennis' kid with him. When Dennis asks Mac why he would agree to that, since they are not a couple, Mac replies that he thought they could just keep pretending.

Mac wins a bet and gets to refurnish the apartment. He surprises Dennis by recreating their old apartment down to the last detail, save his own bedroom, which he leaves empty. He only buys Dennis a bed because he is hoping Dennis will go along with continuing to share a bed like they did at Dee's.

At the end of the episode Dennis announces he is leaving to go raise his son in North Dakota with Mandy. Nobody tries to stop him.

S13-14 DENNIS IS COMING BACK HOT

Dennis' 2 most angry/upset seasons.

In the season 13 promos Dennis is like a ghost, watching the gang laughing and talking without him. At some points they seem to notice that he's there, but just don't care. He is the only one spooked by the weird things happening around the bar.

In season 13 Dennis' returns and feels as though he is not important or needed by his friends. Mac has a journey of self-discovery, coming to terms with his sexuality and finding his identity as a gay man. Mac relies on Dennis to tell him what to do, desperate to please him, but Dennis wants Mac to take control and take care of him. Dennis only wants the illusion of control.

(Season 13 episode 1) Mac orders a sex doll of Dennis and swears he isn't blowing his loads into it. Dennis comes back.

(Season 13 episode 2) Mac finds a heart shaped lock clue whilst doing an escape room. Dennis says they should keep it between themselves.

(season 13 episode 4) Dennis holds a seminar where he publicly declares his own heterosexuality and lack of interest in Mac.

just gonna leave these quotes-

dennis- "some of you just haven't been careful enough, so youre asking yourself what can I do to save myself now. You gotta clean up your act otherwise you're going down, and you're gonna take me down with you and I ain't going down. You understand? I've been telling you this for years but you refused to listen"

----

mac- "and we should probably stop harassing them"

dennis, replying to Mac- " uh well you know, one step at a time we don't want the whole system to collapse" (but Macs only crime was being too open with his feelings for Dennis)

(season 13 ep 5) Dennis opens the floor for questions about his absence. He totally gets that everyone was giving him some space and respecting his privacy, and he's ready to talk about it now but...they just don't actually care....at all... (including Mac)

(season 13 episode 7) Its my personal interpretation that all of clip show happens in Dennis' mind in an episode of dissociation. He imagines that Mac decided to come with him to north Carolina. He imagines being confronted about why he would want to live with Mac if he "hates" him so much.

(season 13 episode 10) Mac comes out to his father in a beautiful interpretive dance and is rejected.

(season 14 episode 1) Mac tries to get into Dennis' good graces again by staging a scheme to get Dennis laid just like old times. Interestingly, Dennis isn't all that interested in banging. When its not working out with the woman, Dennis decides that it's because the leads are actually Mac and the husband. They can't seem to figure out that the leads are really each other.

Mac and Dennis are paralleled by the married couple while Charlie and Frank are mirrored by the father son duo..

"If you'd just give us a chance, we could tell a love story for the ages, a gay GAY ass love story". WE ARE READY AND SO WILLING

(season 14 episode 5) "Bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads." (also refer to Macs super long pining text messages)

(season 14 ep 6) "all that for a whistle, I wonder what you'd do for a biscuit" I really don't understand how but apparently this episode really did happen and it wasn't in someones dream or anything like that??

(season 14 episode 10) Dennis says to Mac it's time to end the game. This could be interpreted as being about their 14 season song and dance, and would be backed up by the fact that the next season shows Mac completely backing off.

s15-s16 Acceptance and regret

mac tries to move on, Dennis misses his baby boy

(season 15 episode 1) We get some cute broke back mountain Macdennis. They play guitar and sing a love song they wrote together, looking into each other's eyes.

(season 15 ep 4) There's a subtle moment that's easy to miss. Dennis pats Mac's hand when they are talking to Charlie and Mac looks down at it, taking a deep breath.

(season 15 ep 5) Dennis has COVID and Mac isn't concerned, in fact he is irritated that Dennis wont admit he's sick. This is a big change from the last couple of seasons where Mac is desperate to take care of Dennis.

(season 16 episode 1) Mac and Dennis throw away all of their furniture including their beds. They now share an inflatable bed/couch and sleep together in it (just a couple seasons ago Dennis was absolutely refusing to sleep in the same bed as Mac). They are touching so much in the bed. Dennis is concerned for Mac because he has been continuously consuming nuts that he is allergic to (there's a metaphor here) and is heavily wheezing. Dennis gently places two fingers on Macs neck to check his pulse.

If Dennis did not want to sleep in the bed with Mac he would have gone and bought another inflatable bed. He would have made Mac sleep on the ground. He would have gone to sleep at Dees house. He wanted to be in that bed with Mac.

(season 16 episode 4) Dennis creates a fake dating profile under the alias of "Johnny". He buys Mac extra large anal beads to put inside of him at all times, and turns them on to signal to Mac to meet him at a hotel. He says he did it to....get him out of the house? and to get Mac to....buy him crab?

Dennis looks so devastated when Mac says he's in love with Johnny. I kinda wonder if it's the idea that Mac could love someone else that upsets him... or if he's reacting to Mac telling him he is in love with him to his face?

This is also the episode where we learn that Dennis has a fool proof method for attracting men. When Mac and Dee ask why he has this system he just shushes them.

(season 16 episode 5) The relationship between Malcom and his dad is a parallel of Mac and Dennis's relationship. The speech at the end to me seems like its hinting that Mac knows more/ has more control and power than is let on.

NEW INFORMATION JUST DROPPED I have just been made aware of the actual parallel between Malcom and the dad possibly being Dennis and Frank.

(season 16 episode 8) Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!

Dennis takes a mental health day. Some people really hated this episode but I really liked it. Mac is putting coal in a pressure cooker to make diamonds. Dennis rips the CEO's (who is wearing a Hawaiian shirt like we've seen Mac wear) heart out, and squeezes it so hard it turns into a diamond and he eats it. This is a direct parallel to the nightman cometh where he also rips Macs heart out.

*edit to add* The director of this episode (who did not write the ep but still was involved in its creation obviously) Heath Cullens, in a reddit QA when asked if this was a nod to dayman replied "Nope. I think pretty much a coincidence." which I think is a total missed opportunity tbh.

This was all in Dennis' mind, and it seems to me that the Mac "situation" has left him with a sense of powerlessness. He feels isolated, trapped in an endless nightmare of his own creation, and he has nobody he can count on to help him, there's nobody he can rely on, he can only trust himself. Compressing the coal into a diamond represents Dennis molding everything to be exactly as he wishes, and by swallowing it he reclaims absolute control.

Always sunny book- : the 7 secrets of awakening the highly effective four-hour giant, today

"Mac for instance is also a 3 in ugly, so even if this exercise we're going to try fails, you'll have some company at your ugly parties. For the record, on the ugly scale charlie is a five, frank is a six, and Dee is a nine." - Dennis

[love-letters-for-wise]

I Want Movie, Not Feelings! (Wise x gn!reader)

[ no beta we die like Ethereals | OOC possibility ]

It was no secret that the Random Play siblings were quite the hustle-bustle. Apart from managing the video store, to a few, they also take "special" commissions to guide people at the Hollows. Not only that, being proxies, they had to keep their true identities a secret from parties seeking to unveil them. Though some, a select few people, were aware of the siblings' double lives.

One of the few people was you. Circumstances led you to discover the people behind Phaethon, and since today, you had been bound by a contract that wouldn't let you sell them out. No matter how high the price offered by desiring shadows.

Hence why, you did the second thing you could do best; befriending them! If you couldn't make them your enemies, then you would try to gain their favorability--maybe you could extract a favor or two from them.

That afternoon, you stopped by Random Play, wanting to browse what movie to play later in your homely, well-deserved movie night. The flyer of the memory-erasing pen you got from the technology store a few blocks away shoved down your purse. A silly machine, too expensive for you to want it. The sound of your arrival alerted the person in charge, prompting a "Welcome to Random Play" from behind a rack. A head popped from the side.

"Oh, it's you." Wise's voice sounded a bit guarded no matter how many times you had gone here, but he was quick to put up the professionalism. "Any movie you're looking for today?"

You hoped you could show a bewilderment, but his cynical--you meant--caution did deserve praise sometimes. Your eyes wandered around before settling on his form. "Yeah, I'm looking for something to eat my dinner with. Got any nasty murder documentaries with you?"

Wise was for sure weirded. You caught how his eyebrows slightly furrowed, it didn't help too that his eyebags seemed to enhance that emotion, before guiding you to a rack.

"We have..." Wise's fingers hovered in the air before settling on a video cover. "Don't Fuck with Bangboos," and those fingers began to slide as he listed all the titles on that one row. Just four movies there.

"Huh. And here I thought there would be more variety." Your eyes settled on Wise, the accusation clear knowing how much Wise loved documentaries. You were responded with a sigh.

"Unfortunately, documentaries-lovers, me included, would rather see things they can be grateful of--we have enough 'loss' already."

"Doesn't mean you can't have more of the darker documentaries."

"Never said that; I'm just saying there isn't enough demand for them." His eyebrows furrowed once more. He looked old.

"You really gotta stop trying to merge your eyebrows" Now it was your turn to furrow your eyebrows. Your face quickly relaxed while throwing him a grin, though. "Lest you want wrinkles at your age."

Wise's eyebrows slowly relaxed, staring at you with a passive look.

"There. Much better!" You huffed a wider grin. "Now, with what should you service your customer?"

Reluctantly, a smile formed on Wise's face. Shit, he looks cute. You mentally punched yourself for that.

"O-okay! Good!" Did you just stutter? "I'll be taking 'Don't Fuck with Bangboos', then! S-shall we go to the cashier?" A high-pitched voice.

Okay, NOW you're starting to change your mind on that memory-erasing pen.

Calm down, you! If you keep doing that, you're basically foiling your own plan.

You didn't hear exactly what Wise said. You just heard a plural amount of something, fished your purse and put some dennies on the counter, and took the movie. You did it! You did them all while remaining calm and not looking rushed or anything!

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Wise looked at the counter where you put your dennies on. After counting them, he found that you also put a little piece of paper along. He picked it up, finding the word "Wipe anyone's memory! Rebrand yourself anew!" at the top.

[chrissdollie]

♡.˚ ୨୧ ｡˚ ♡.˚ boyfriend best friend - bsf!chris x reader

a/n: @sydneysturniolooo, sorry for getting this out so late :c and a special thank you to @imtalkinnonsense and @thebottledwatersupplier for beta reading :)

summary: your best friend chris doesn't understand boundaries, but neither do you. sometimes he feels more like a boyfriend than your actual bf.

warnings/notes: cursing, established relationship with an oc (steve), bsf!chris, ur kinda oblivious, lowercase intended, mentions of sex wc: 1.3k

this party bites. you stand next to your boyfriend in the kitchen, holding an almost empty red cup. his arm is wrapped around your shoulders as he converses with some friends. you boredly swish your drink around in the cup awkwardly. the music playing isn't your taste and you'd much rather be at home with your boyfriend, steve, in your bed where you're comfortable.

your empty hand fidgets with the bottom of your pink skirt, waiting for the trite conversation to wrap up. your disinterested stare picks up from the floor when you hear your name being called by the one voice you can have true fun with. your eyes brighten almost immediately, a toothy smile forming on your face. a dopey grin plastered on his, he waves his hand as he makes his way over to where you stood.

steve's discussion comes to halt when he scoffs at the boy's appearance. chris doesn't even spare him a glance. instead, he gives you a kiss on the cheek as greeting, swatting away steve's arm from where it was resting. you kiss back, your lipgloss leaving a small sticky stain on his left cheek. "hey chris! uh, you remember steve." you smile and turn to your boyfriend who simply nods in greeting. chris' smile falters a little, just a little. he chuckles, "yeah, hey big guy."

his eyes turn back to you, then down to your cup. he grabs it from you, holding it out to steve. "her drink's almost done. go get her a refill, man." steve lets out a small exasperated sigh, taking the cup and muttering, "i'll be right back." chris gives a fake smile as he watches him leave with his buddies. "take as long as you need." he exclaims, winking.

you lean against the kitchen counter. "sooo, i thought you weren't coming..?"

he coughs, scratching the back of his head, the bottom of his black tank lifting up with his arm. "err- well, matt told me you were going. and we haven't hung out in like a week so yknow.." you nod along. he chuckles, shaking his head before continuing. "you looked like you were fucking dead anyhow. thought i'd be your knight in shining armor." he jokes, casually ruffling your hair.

you groan, "ugh, yes, thank you. steve's friends aren't exactly my type of people, i guess." you laugh dryly. he nods along, looking at you up and down. "well, princess, you look fabulous, as always." he compliments your simple look with a soft boyish smile. you sweetly return his smile and reply, "thank you" in a shy tone.

"yknow," chris leans against the counter so he's right next to you, his shoulder just barely brushing against yours. your head turns, watching him as he looks down at his dirty sneakers. "it's been like what- a week since you and i hung out? what're you doin' after the party?" he lifts his head to look into your shameful eyes.

"'m goin' on a date with steve.. 'm sorry."

chris chuckles in response with his eyes widening curiously. ”a date?? oh sweet, are you guys finally going somewhere besides Denny’s?” he smirks. you purse your lips, seeing steve walking towards you guys. you turn back to chris' waiting eyes. you shrug, mildly embarrassed. "we're just going for ice cream." pfft, as if it's any better than denny's.

he lets out a clearly not surprised "oh" as soon as your boyfriend stops right infront of you. he holds out the red cup to you. "here, babe." you take it and thank him before looking into the cup unsuspectingly. you clear your throat. "oh um.. this isn't punch?" you look up with a confused frown, in search of an explanation.

he nods slowly. "yeah.. i just thought maybe you'd like to try-"

chris' laugh cuts him off. steve turns with a raised eyebrow. before he can even ask what's so funny, chris holds up his hand. "try? she doesn't drink, moron." he snatches the cup out of your hand, not breaking eye contact with your boyfriend. you swallow hard. "it's okay.. really it is, but yeah, i don't think i wanna.."

steve rolls his eyes. chris scoffs, pouring the drink out into the sink next to him. your boyfriend simply folds his arms, unfazed. "fine, whatever." he grabs your chin. "they're setting up the kegs in the back. come watch me, kay?" he kisses your lips gently, not even giving you time to respond. he smiles and walks to the backyard.

"that shit is so immature." your best friend giggles, his small silver hoops swinging from his ears as he laughs. you let out a small sigh. he hums, "hey." he gets off the counter, bringing his hands up to cup your face. you giggle against his veiny hands. "how are you, peach? you good?" he asks in a serious voice, not playing around about your well-being. you blink slowly, your eyelashes prettily fluttering. "'m good." you whisper.

he raises both eyebrows. "this baboo- uh, is he making you happy? and no horseshit."

"yeah." you blandly respond with squished lips from the pressure. he drops one of his hands to his side. you lean into the one left on your face, your eyes shutting tiredly. he stares at you for a few seconds like you're an angel sent from heaven just for him. he's fighting the urge to kiss your glossy pout because he then remembers steve's waiting for you.

"ya guy's waitin', ma." he reminds you, tapping your cheek. you open your eyes and nod quickly. you grab your hand and begin walking to the backyard, pushing past the people with a quiet "excuse us" as you drag chris through the house.

minutes later, you're sitting on the grass criss crossed next to chris. your boyfriend stands in front of one of the kegs as he gets hyped up by his group of friends. someone yells out, "remember the rules, boys," and explains the rules quickly. "alright, 3... 2... 1!"

you don't really pay attention to who's winning as you rest your head sleepily against chris' shoulder. his arm wraps around you, his fingers playing with your gorgeous hair. you blink slowly, trying to stay awake. but it's hard since you're so comfortable in chris' embrace. you wanted to mention something that's been on your mind before drifting off.

"yesterday he told me to have sex with him." you mumble loud enough so only chris could hear. he can't help but let out a chuckle. he readjusts himself to look down at you. "so.. was he good?" he wiggles his eyebrows teasingly, though he knows you wouldn't. not his precious angel.

you roll your eyes with a grin. "i told him i wasn't ready. then he got all upset. i dunno why, i've told him multiple times that i'm not ready. he's just so impatient." you whine at the end. you look ahead as people cheer and smack steve's opponent on the back. clearly your boyfriend lost, anyone could see by the annoyed look on his face. you scrunch up your nose at the sweat and beer dripping from his mouth down to his chest.

chris hums, still twirling a piece of your hair with his long fingers. "he just has to deal with it. tell him to watch porn or somethin'."

you laugh, but it stops when steve glares your way. or more so, chris' way. you cough and sit up, brushing some grass of your skirt. chris turns his head towards him and rolls his eyes. "dunno why he gets so pressed all the time. you and i've been friends for years so what the fuck is his deal?"

you hum quietly, shrugging carelessly. chris sucks in a breath for a moment, hesitating on asking you a question. he sees steve walk back inside with his group, probably going to get even more shitfaced. but thats not his problem. a few seconds of silence pass before chris decides to speak up. "well, if you like.. weren't totally comfortable doing it with him, you could with me?"

your eyebrows raise as your eyes widen. he raises his hands up in defense, "nonono, not like in a weird way." he chuckles dryly. "it'd just be so you're prepared, yknow? and anyhow, he doesn't know you're a virgin soo.."

he does raise a good point, you must admit. you twirl a piece of your hair in your manicured fingers, biting your lip softly. he is an experienced guy, you know from all the stories he told you at your sleepovers. but what if you don't wanna have sex with chris just for steve's benefit? you innocently lick your lips before looking into your best friend's stunning blue eyes.

tags!! <3 @leah-loves-lilies @imtalkinnonsense @stargirlsturniololover @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee @freshsturns @emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668

[maccharliedennis]

Check it out y'all !!! I drew something to contribute to @malewifemanhunter 's @sunnyhalloweenzine !!!

Every fandom needs at least one or two Monster AUs so here's my take on one for Sunny 🌞💖👻

I really loved doing this and was so glad I got the chance to be part of the zine!!! I low-key want to draw so many more characters for this AU.

🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN YALL!!!!! 🎃

More Monstery fun under the cut!!!! 👇👇👇👇

Mac: In my vision of this AU, genetics play a very limited role in what type of monster someone is. Just because someone's parents are vampires doesn't mean they will be one too. But it was still shocking for Mac when he finally came to the conclusion that he was a Cupid instead of a Gargoyle like his father, or an Ash Elemental like his mother. As a Cupid, most of his power is tied to passionate emotion. He's able to influence others emotional states, and can even inspire feelings of love. Or at least, he could if he ever actually practiced using these abilities. It's a lot easier to talk up his powers than it is to put the work into refining them.

Dennis: As a true monster, Dennis possesses limited shape shifting abilities but only uses them to squish himself down into a human skin to avoid being perceived in his true form. To be fair to him though, his true form is more physically vulnerable when exposed. It may look scary, but his skin is easily pierced and most of those appendages evolved for showing off to potential mates, not combat. Or maybe he hides in a skinsuit so that his sexual interests never find out that he has a giant toothy maw with snapping, grabbing pinchers between his legs instead of a dick.

Dee: I rlly wanted to go for monster types that weren't the obvious choice, which is why I opted to make Dee a Wraith instead of a Harpy or Banshee. But like....I knew I had 2 include birds SOMEHOW....hence why her physical form and powers can be effected by psychic energy 🐦 👻. She has the ability to emit a piercing screech that both terrifies and harms those who hear it. She's also able to predict when a tragedy is about to occur, but isn't able to determine whether it will be someone else's tragedy or her own. Unfortunately for her, it usually seems to be the latter.

Charlie: yeah yeah Charlie gets to be extra stuff bc he's my special girl (just like in my Pokemon AU) . His abilities as both a poltergeist and a wererat make him extremely hardy and he's able to withstand almost anything. His poltergeist half can cause problems for him, however, if he tries to venture too far from where his soul is tied to. His abilities are the strongest when he's at these tethering spots (the bar and the waitress), and he quickly becomes extremely weak and almost imperceptible if he goes outside the city limits of Philadelphia. To solve this problem, the Gang has formed a habit of kidnapping the Waitress for any trips they take.

Frank: Frank is here too 🧌. Not much is known for sure about his past and what IS known seems to contradict itself quite frequently. He claims to have made most of his money in the 70s from exploiting monsters of his very own type back on "The Street".

[rainbow-nerdss]

Definition

Written for @augustwritingchallenge day 25 (Joker Prompt): Role Reversal Buddie, 2.8k Read on AO3

or: 5 times people get Buck's role in Chris's life wrong, and 1 time they set the record straight

1: 

It starts on a night in December, after Buck tagged along with Eddie when he was bringing Chris to see Santa Claus. 

“You two have an adorable son,” the elf says to Buck, after Chris is done, refusing to say what he wished for but laughing when Eddie picks him up and carries him off.

Buck doesn’t correct her. She’s doing her job, and she’s being nice, and there’s no point in making the situation awkward by pointing out the mistake. 

He can’t blame her for making the assumption, either — they’re two adults, together. taking a kid out to see Santa. They’d been sitting pretty close together by the fountain, and Buck knows he’s been looking at Chris like a proud parent even though he’s not one.

It’s like a whiplash, though, going from talking to Eddie about Shannon’s place as Chris’s parent, her place in both of their lives, to someone assuming Buck is the one in that place. It makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time… there’s a longing there, for that to be true someday. Not with Eddie and Chris, but with someone.

He rejoins Eddie and Chris, and he doesn’t tell them, either. But he keeps that little mistake, and the warmth it sparked in his chest, and he holds onto it. 

He doesn’t know why, not for a long time, but that one little sentence sticks with him.

2: 

It’s years later, and Maddie’s just announced her pregnancy to the whole team. Eddie already knows, Buck’s excitement at the news making it impossible for him not to spill. They’re at a barbecue in Bobby and Athena’s back yard, and everyone toasts the happy couple.

Bobby turns to Buck, once the initial round of cheers and congratulations for the parents-to-be. “So you’re gonna be an uncle, huh? How’s it feeling?”

Eddie sips his beer, smiling to himself. Buck’s spoken about anything else since he heard the news, so Eddie’s pretty sure he knows the answer.

“Well, he’s already an uncle, right?” Ravi interrupts. Eddie frowns at him, and Buck looks as confused as he feels. 

“What do you mean?” he asks.

Ravi looks between the two of them. “I mean, not by blood, sure, but like…” He gestures over to Christopher, playing with Denny on the ipad.

Eddie feels himself grimace. Something about it strikes him as wrong. Buck’s an important part of Chris’s life, but uncle? He thinks of his own tíos, how they’d come to visit every now and again, spend most of the time talking to his parents and talking to him just long enough to establish how he was doing in school, and whether or not he had a girlfriend. 

He knows Buck won’t be like that with Maddie’s kid, but it still feels…. different.

Eddie doesn’t know how to respond to it, honestly. "Buck isn’t—that's not..." But what can he say? That's not how it is. That’s not enough to describe Buck’s importance in Chris’s life.

Eddie looks back at Buck, and sees matching confusion on his face. “Chris doesn’t call me his uncle,” he says, as though the idea has never even occurred to him. Eddie smiles at him, and Buck smiles back, and there’s a mutual understanding there.

Buck’s not Chris’s uncle. He’s… Well, he’s something else — something Eddie’s not quite ready to name yet, but there’s a piece of paper in a lawyer’s office to attest to it.

3: 

Chris is not feeling good. His head is spinning, his stomach churning, and he feels both hot and cold at the same time. 

“Your dad will be here soon, okay, honey?” Nurse Rodriguez tells him, after hanging up the phone. “You just sit tight and let me know if anything changes.”

He’s in the nurse’s office, staring bleary-eyed at the linoleum floor. The pattern swims around as his vision blurs, and he hugs the little basin Nurse Rodriguez had given him close, feeling more like he was gonna need it with every passing second.

“I’m here for Christopher Diaz?” 

He hears a familiar voice outside the room, and it makes him relax, just knowing he’ll be home soon, able to curl up in bed or on the couch, watch TV and be taken care of.

“Mr. Diaz!” Nurse Rodriguez says, in her overly-friendly voice, and Chris laughs, lurching his stomach and making him feel so much worse.

“Uh, I’m not… I’m Buck—Evan Buckley, I mean, I should be…?”

Nurse Rodriguez backtracks, apologizing. “Oh! I am so sorry, Mr. Buckley, I see you on the emergency contact list. If you’d just sign here?”

Chris loses track of the conversation outside, focusing instead on his breathing until Nurse Rodriguez comes back in and escorts him out to Buck. Buck wraps an arm around him and helps him out to the car, then sets him up with blankets and a bucket on the couch, and serves up chicken noodle soup when Chris is able to stomach food.

He lets Chris curl into his side to take a nap, warm and comfortable, like he’s a little kid again, and he stays there even after Chris goes to bed, even after his dad gets home and comes in to check on him.

4:

Buck knocks on Hen's door, and is immediately met with an armful of sleepy infant as she passes the baby over to him. He takes it in stride, adjusting her in his arms so she's comfortable and following Hen inside. 

"Everything okay?" He asks, once they're in the kitchen, surrounded by dirty mixing bowls and flour dusting every surface.

"There's a bake sale at the school tomorrow, and someone forgot to mention it until about an hour ago." She raises her voice on the word someone, pointedly glaring out to where Denny is doing his homework in the next room.

"I said I was sorry!" Denny calls back, and Hen grumbles but Buck can see there's no real resentment there.

"That's rough," Buck commiserates. "I take it we're not going to see that movie tonight, then?"

Hen shakes her head. "Sorry, man. I gotta take care of this. I do not trust Karen with baking supplies." Hen makes a face. "Granted, I'm also not spectacular at it but…"

Buck laughs. "I can help out," he offers. "I've got a great recipe for cupcakes?"

Hen makes a face. "Are you sure? You wouldn't know it, Buck, but those PTA moms are so picky about what you bring and whether it's good enough for their precious little babies—"

Buck snorts, gently settling the baby in her rocker. She fusses a little, but calms down after a moment or two. He gets the recipe up on his phone. "Oh, trust me—I know."

Hen looks confused, so he elaborates with an amused smile. "What, you think Eddie Diaz does all that stuff? I'll never forget the look on Carter's mom's face when my cookies outsold hers at the last bake sale at Chris's school." Buck chuckles to himself, then starts gathering ingredients. 

"Huh, I'm sorry. I guess I just assumed—I mean, he's got his aunt, and Carla…" Hen trails off with a shrug and falls into place next to Buck, reading the recipe and pointing him to the right cupboards to find what he needs.

"They do some, when we've got work or something, but…" Buck falters. He wants to say something like "That's different," or "They're not his parents," but... neither is Buck, is he? He remembers the elf from all those years ago, how he hadn't corrected her. The feeling of wanting that. 

At the time, he’d thought the want was just for a family of his own, a partner, a kid. Now, though… those lines aren’t as clear anymore.

"I like to help out," is all he says, and then switches on the mixer, effectively shutting off conversation.

5: 

Eddie's had a few drinks. Buck's at work, and Chris has been coerced into going with Pepa to visit Eddie's parents for the weekend. Eddie had been supposed to go too, but he doesn't feel too guilty about playing up his injuries as an excuse not to join them. He did feel slightly bad that his parents hadn't let them off the hook entirely, insisting on taking Chris off his hands.

Chris had dragged his feet about it, but Eddie knows he's stubborn enough to stay behind if he really wants to — he likes getting to see his older cousins, and while he doesn’t want to live with them, he does like visiting his grandparents, too — if only because they spoil him rotten.

Buck hadn't wanted to leave Eddie alone tonight, not after he'd been injured on the bridge — no more than a dislocated shoulder and a few bruised ribs in the end, nothing compared to Chimney, to Bobby even Hen, but it was enough to get him signed off work for a fortnight. Things had been sketchy for a few minutes there, and for a moment, Eddie had feared… but then there was Buck, opening the doors, pulling him out by one arm.

It hurts like a bitch, but he's fine. Still, when Buck insisted on calling in Carla to keep him company tonight, Eddie didn't point out that was exactly what Buck had been so against Maddie doing for him after the lightning. He doesn't mind the company, especially since he hates being home alone at night.

Besides, Carla doesn't treat him like an invalid. She brings a bottle of some fruity gin, and Eddie orders from the nice Thai place, and they just hang out, catching up on all of the grown-up stuff they rarely get to talk about when they’re busy discussing Chris.

Still, they're halfway through the gin when Carla brings it up. "Buck said he was scared he lost you for a second there."

Eddie shrugs, then winces. He's not sure how much of the wince is because it tugged at his shoulder, and how much is the reminder. "Honestly, for a second, I was worried too. But Buck got me out." Like he always does, Eddie doesn't say. He'd come so close to telling Buck, then. Telling him everything, how he felt for him.

"You know, this house is weird without Chris in it," Carla slurs her words, just as tipsy as he is.. For a moment, Eddie thinks the subject has been changed, until she continues. "If anything does happen to you, there's no way in hell I'm letting your parents drag Chris to Texas for good. I'm gonna fight to keep that boy here, and I know Buck'll do the same."

Eddie laughs, realizing that he hadn't told her about his will. He hadn't told anyone, really, other than Pepa, Abuela and Buck. He'd known at the time it was a big deal, that people might get the wrong impression if he told them.

Turns out, it would have been the right impression after all.

"That won't be necessary," he tells her, after draining his glass.

"I know, I know — you're fine, you aren't going anywhere anytime soon."

"No, that's —well, yes, that too, but also—" Eddie gets up, gestures for her glass too, then pours them both a fresh drink. "My folks wouldn't get Chris, if anything happens. I have a will, so…" he shrugs, sitting back down and sliding Carla's glass over. "Buck's gonna look after him. If I can't anymore. Prob'ly still have to fight, but it's on paper, it's… official."

Carla hums, watching him carefully. "And Buck knows this?" she asks.

Eddie nods. "Told him after… after the shooting."

The last time Buck took Eddie’s hand, pulling him from danger, dragging him to safety.

Carla sighs, shaking her head. She looks at him like she's seeing something new, like this is the last piece in a puzzle she's been working on for years. "Why haven't either of you made a move yet?"

Eddie chokes on his drink, and she pushes a dishcloth across the table for him to mop himself up. Once he's composed himself, he meets her eye.

"Honestly?" He asks. "I can't speak for Buck, but… I'm sort of starting to wonder the same thing."

+1:

Chris is honestly tired of everyone making assumptions about Buck's place in his life. It's been clear to Chris himself for a long time—probably longer than Buck himself has known. The problem is, they've never said it out loud.

That's going to change today.

A month ago, Chris got home from Texas to find his dad and Buck making out in the kitchen.

He'd run to wash out his eyes, but then they say him down,  and the three of them had talked it out together, and he's happy for them. Happy they’ve finally started being honest with themselves, with him, and with each other.

And now, it's Christopher's turn to do the same.

He's not as good as Buck at making pancakes, but he can do French toast pretty well, so he makes enough for the three of them and sets it on the table. It's a little overcooked, but he doesn't think they'll mind. 

Then he knocks on their bedroom door—because Buck may still be paying rent on his apartment for now, but he basically lives with them already. Chris likes that, likes having Buck around even more than before.

He disappears back to the kitchen before they can get to the door, calling them down when he hears Buck ask after him in a sleepy voice.

"Oh my god," his dad says, taking in the sight of the food on the table when both of them shuffle in. "This is… you made this yourself?"

"It's Father's Day, dad. I wanted to treat you."

Chris accepts the tearful hug with only minimal complaints, part of the gift.

Once they're both seated, he goes back to his room, returning with the real present.

"Carla helped with these," he explains, suddenly nervous. "I designed them, and then she sent them off to be made with the money from my allowance, um…"

Chris hands over the one on top first, putting it in front of his dad. Buck chews on his French toast, eyeing the package curiously while Eddie opens it.

Inside is a plaque, printed to look like a dictionary entry. It's cheesy as hell, but if Chris knows his dad, he'll eat it up. 

It reads:

Dad (n): a firefighter with a terrible sense of humor, someone who drinks too much coffee and spends too much time on his hair. See also: Father

Just as Chris predicted, Eddie's eyes grow wet, and he reaches out for another hug, which Chris indulges again.

"What's the other one?" Buck asks.

Chris takes a deep breath. This is it, he tells himself, and he hands the second package to Buck.

Buck looks at it, then up at Chris in confusion, waiting for him to nod before opening it with slow, careful movements — it's so unlike Buck, who always tears into the wrapping paper on his birthday presents, that Chris almost wants to laugh. He doesn't, though. This is serious, after all.

Buck stares down at the plaque, the same style as the first, with a different message.

This one reads:

Buck (n): A firefighter with a terrible sense of humor, the maker of the best pancakes, someone who knows way too many random facts. See also: Father.

"Chris…" Buck's voice is soft, and he looks to be at a loss for words, so Chris speaks instead. He practiced what he’s going to say here, to make his meaning absolutely clear.

"I know I only ever call you Buck," he says, "but that's just because calling both of you dad would be confusing, and pops is Bobby." Chris laughs, thinking of the time he'd spent on his own in his room, thinking of different words for dad he could call Buck, none of them fitting until he realized why. "But… Buck means the same thing as those other names to me, and it has ever since the pier. Since you saved me. You're my Buck. And I'm your son."

Chris is bright red by the end of his speech, he doesn't think he's said that much uninterrupted to his parents in a long time, and they're both just… staring at him.

Chris initiates the hug this time, throwing himself into Buck's arms. Later, he'll claim it was just so he didn't have to see the sappy looks on their faces, but he buries his face in Buck's shoulder, feels Buck's arms around his back, and he knows without a doubt that he's safe there.

His dad joins the hug too after a moment, sandwiching Chris in the middle in a way that should be uncomfortable, but Chris smiles to himself anyway.

The two plaques hang side by side on the wall of the living room, for everyone who visits to see, clearing up any and all confusion in the matter.

Buck is Christopher's dad, nothing more, and nothing less.

[florsial]

Slytherin Skittles (aka Hogwarts' Pantheon) Incorrect quotes!

(+others)

. . . . .

Evan: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Barty will and will not eat. Pandora: Grass? Yes! Evan: Moss? Yes!! Pandora: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Evan: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Pandora: Worms? Sometimes! Evan: Rocks? Usually nah. Pandora: Twigs? Usually! Evan: Dorcas's cooking? Inconclusive! Regulus: How did you… test this? Evan: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Regulus: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Dorcas: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

. . . .

Regulus: Where's Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora?

Barty: They're playing hide and seek. Regulus: Where? Barty: I don't think you get how this game works.

. . . .

Pandora: Regulus's first detention, I'm so proud. Evan: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention? Dorcas: Because they're an idiot. Barty, terrified: They can do that??

. . . .

Regulus: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Evan and Barty: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

. . . .

Regulus: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Dorcas: 'Prettiest Smile' Pandora: 'Nicest Personality' Barty: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Evan: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

. . . .

Regulus: You're a lying piece of shit! Barty: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Evan: I'm leaving and I'm taking Pandora with me! Dorcas, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

. . . .

Pandora: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Dorcas: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Barty: Three of us saw it, Dorcas. How do you explain that? Dorcas: *points at Evan* Sleep deprivation. *points at Regulus* Paranoia. *points at Barty* Delusional personality disorder.

. . . .

Pandora: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Dorcas: Several traffic violations. Evan: Three counts of resisting arrest. Barty: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Regulus: Also, that’s not our car.

. . . .

Barty: How do you connect with a fictional character? Evan: What? Dorcas: What? Pandora: What? Regulus: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

. . . .

Regulus: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Pandora: I really care about your feelings! Lily: I really care about YOUR feelings! Regulus, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Barty: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Evan: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

. . . .

James: What did you get Regulus for their birthday? Pandora: I got them a kitten. Barty: Really? Me too! Dorcas: I also got them a cat. Evan: Looks like we had the same idea. Pandora: James, please tell me you didn't get Regulus a cat as well! James: ...I got them a kitten. *later* Regulus, in their apartment surrounded by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever!

. . . .

Pandora: What do rainbows mean to you? Barty: Gay rights. Dorcas: There's money. Evan: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood. Regulus: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

. . . .

Regulus: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Barty: This knife is actually a magic wand. Evan: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel. Pandora: * cocks gun* Magic missile. Dorcas: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

210 for 🧟

---

Chimney watches them as they head out. He watches Eddie say goodbye to his son. 

“You be good for Maddie, okay?” He says  to the little boy, voice wavering like he’s trying to hold back tears. “What she says goes, alright? Same for all the other adults here.”

“Okay, Dad,” Christopher sniffs. His face is red and puffy. He has been crying. 

“I’ll be back soon, kiddo,” Eddie says, hugging him. “I promise you.”

Christopher tucks his head into Eddie’s shoulder. 

A few feet away, Buck is hugging Maddie goodbye. They’re speaking quietly to each other. An exchange Chim can’t overhear. 

Again, Chimney feels this displaced sense of envy. This green, lonely little monster on his shoulder that he hates. What a stupid thing to feel while watching people saying goodbye to their loved ones. There must seriously be something wrong with him. 

▪️▪️▪️

After saying goodbye to Buck - and Eddie, he supposes, though that didn’t feel nearly as significant - Chim goes to check on May. The teenager is recovering well. Chim thinks she’ll be feeling well enough to be moving around again soon. Which really is a miracle. He’s never heard of someone surviving being scratched by a zombie without contracting the illness. The fact that she did just that, and survived a secondary infection? Well, May Grant has good luck. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks her. 

“Okay,” she mumbles. “I kind of have cabin fever, though.”

“As long as it’s not an actual fever,” he replies. “Can I grab you any books? Something to entertain you?"

May blushes a little. “Anything paranormal romance?”

Chim chuckles. “You got it, kid.”

“No zombies!” She adds. 

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

It’s upon looking for young adult paranormal romance novels that Chimney runs into Maddie. She’s a couple of rows over, in the kid’s section, talking to Christopher.

“Can I play with Denny and Harry for a while please?” Christopher asks. The kid had clearly taken his father’s instructions seriously.

“Of course, sweetie,” Maddie tells him. “Just don’t go outside without an adult.”

“Thank you, Maddie!”

Chris leaves to join the other boys, and Maddie turns, pausing when she sees him. She looks at the stack of books in his hand. 

“Are those teenage vampires?” She asks, smirking. 

“Um, I think one is a demon hunter,” Chim protests. “And they’re for May! She’s bored, but still feeling crummy.”

Her smile softens. “You’re a good doctor.”

“I’m a paramedic,” he shrugs. 

“Well, there’s no med schools or boards anymore,” she reminds him. 

“That’s true,” he mumbles, a little awkwardly. 

Maddie makes Chim feel a little awkward, in general. Not in a bad way. Not through any fault or lack of social grace. It’s just… Well, how to put it? She’s beautiful. That’s the first thing. Even sunburnt, with broken ribs, and looking like she’s been on the road for months upon months, she’s absolutely beautiful. And not just, like, in a superficial way. Though there is that. She’s also just sort of got a presence about her. A warmth. Something that draws Chim in. It’s been under three days, but he can’t help but find himself wanting to be near her whenever she’s around. 

This is slightly problematic, he knows. For one thing, he doesn’t know anything about Maddie beyond what Buck has said about her. And that she’s sort of badass, to have made it here for Pennsylvania, just on the hope her kid brother was still alive. For another thing, Maddie is the first age-appropriate presumably heterosexual woman he’s encountered in months. He might very well just be feeling pent up. That doesn’t mean she’s as charming and wonderful as his brain is currently telling him she is. There’s also the slight problem of Buck being his friend. But that seems very much less pressing than it probably should, when Maddie is standing here smiling at him with very glittery eyes. 

Jesus, what’s wrong with him?

“Can I ask you something?” Maddie says. 

Chim nods. “Anything.”

God, see? It’s stuff like that. He could be a bit less eager, really. What if she asks for something ridiculously unpleasant?

“What can I do to help around here? Beyond Chris, no one has put me to work.”

Oh, so ridiculously pleasant and decent, then. Cool. Not helpful, Maddie. 

“You have a broken rib,” Chim points out. “No one expects you to do manual labor. We’re also not making May work.”

“Well, there’s no reason I can’t do something,” she says. “Like those security camera shifts? Or, Evan showed me his fishing stuff. Maybe I can do that while he’s gone.”

“Lifting fishing nets with a broken rib? Carrying buckets of fish up and down stairs?” Chim challenges.

“Evan says he does it with a kid!” Maddie laughs. “Come on, throw me a bone here.”

Chim smiles. Her laugh is beautiful. 

“Okay, okay,” he relents. “I’ll talk to Bobby about adding you to the cam rotation. As for fishing, I got stuck with it while your brother is away. So maybe you can help me out tomorrow morning? Within reason.”

Maddie smirks. “Okay. I will help you fish within reason.”

“I appreciate it, anyway,” Chim says. “I do not share your brother’s fondness for the ocean.”

“It was a bit different when I lived near it in Boston, so I can’t say yet,” Maddie replies. 

“Boston?” Chim asks.

“Where I went to nursing school,” Maddie fills in.

“Very cool.” Chim nods. “I always wanted to go to Fenway Park. Although now I guess… That’s not gonna happen.”

The fact that Chim will never see another new baseball game again doesn’t sit well with him. It’s lots of morose rewatches of Field of Dreams and A League of their Own for him from now on. 

“It’s a nice city,” Maddie says, but doesn’t elaborate. Something shifts in her tone slightly. Chim suspects Boston is not a topic she wants to linger on. 

“Well, hey…” Chim says. “I’m out in the gardens for the rest of the day, but I usually try to watch some movies in the evening after dinner. The library has a decent collection. If you want to join, you can even pick the film.”

“Oh, quite an honor,” Maddie says.

“It is! I don’t hand it out to just anyone. That’s how your brother ends up over-playing anything with Owen Wilson.” 

Maddie chuckles. “Well, I’d love to do that. I haven’t watched a movie in a very long time.”

“We don’t have popcorn or soda,” Chim admits. “But we do have veggies and clean water.”

“Perfect,” she grins. “I promise to pick something with neither Wilson brother.”

“Oh, well, hey. I won’t say no to Legally Blonde.” 

“Well, then good. I look forward to it,” Maddie tells him.

And to Chim’s delight, so does he. There’s not a lot to look forward to at the end of the world. Maybe Maddie being here will change that. 

▪️▪️▪️

Maddie does end up choosing Legally Blonde. 

“Well, you mentioned it!” She defends her choice. “Plus, lighthearted feels good, right now. And it’s not entirely inappropriate if Chris wakes up and needs me.”

Chim can’t argue with that. 

“Legally Blonde is perfect,” he concedes. 

They have a fun evening. It’s not that Chim hasn’t had fun evenings since the end of the world. He has. Lots of board game nights, movie nights, and card games with the gang here. They’ve found lots of ways to entertain themselves. Though he regrets the time he challenged Buck to a headstand competition. 

It’s not that his life has been filled with boredom at all. Lots of days, they work too hard to be bored. He finishes his days by falling into a dark, dreamless sleep. He isn’t lacking anything specifically. 

But still, having Maddie sitting in a chair next to him, watching a classic rom com, Chim feels like he’s gained something he was missing. He doesn’t know how to explain it. He just really hopes Maddie is here to stay. 

September 7th, 2018

Christopher, Denny, and Harry all join Maddie and Chim for morning fishing. It feels a bit more like they’re running  a summer camp than doing important food-collecting. Chim is used to Denny following Buck around like a puppy. It does make it slightly harder to focus on the task at hand. But Denny is helpful, and explains all the rules to Chris and Harry that Buck has given to him. With the air of authority that can only come from a child wanting to show they know more than his friends. 

Chim knows Denny usually helps Buck with the fishing nets, but this morning he is more interested in entertaining. The kids mostly play on the beach while Maddie and Chim do all the work. Which is good. He likes watching them get to be kids. Chim always felt that he had to grow up rather suddenly, after his father left and his mother got sick. It makes him happy to see kids being kids, despite the literal end of the world as they knew it. 

“So, I got added to light kitchen duty,” Maddie says as she wades in the water a few feet from Chim while he pulls up nets. “Which I feel like is still too easy. But I appreciate you all letting me help.”

Chim laughs. “Okay, you say that now. But wait until we start building the fence. Then you’ll wish you were on kitchen duty.”

“Fair point,” Maddie concedes. “When will that be?”

“We’re still collecting supplies,” Chim says. “Though this week has thrown us off.”

“Right,” Maddie replies.

“But I guess I’m making assumptions,” Chim says. 

“What assumptions?” She asks. 

“Well… I guess,” Chim sighs. “I mean, I don’t know what your plans are. Like if you mean to stay.”

“Oh,” Maddie says. “Well, yeah. I guess I haven’t given it a ton of thought.”

“That’s totally fair,” Chim says. “You had a long way just to get here.”

“I don’t want to leave my brother,” Maddie says. “Not after everything it took to find him.”

Neither of them says it, but Chim knows they’re both thinking it, anyway. She may not want to leave him, but he left her. Albeit temporarily. She will have a different decision to make if he doesn’t come back.

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

Messy post but if I don’t post now, the season’s gonna be over before my thoughts are out: Charlie (feels like) he’s in a different genre of show than everyone else at the moment, all his scenes and reactions in the first few episodes especially are more sober and serious (to me) compared to everyone else, even if coloured by the absurdity of Sunny, he's taking control of the situation because he can recognize the situation when the others can’t, he’s always seemed more perceptive but now it’s really showing as he’s done with his mom’s shit, he’s done with Jack’s abuse, and all the scenes with Uncle Jack are clearly uncomfortable and (I think) intentionally not really being played for laughs? (unless they really are just making a horrendous writing choice here), but he’s seeing these darker layers, he’s seeing Mac turn down everything he’s ever wanted, raising eyebrows at the cigarette burning, he’s questioning Dennis’ decisions that maybe wouldn’t have him bat much of an eye before (hmm wait, him asking why dennis wouldn’t perform his ex-wife’s dying wish to be buried in the pet cemetery vs Charlie obeying his dad’s dying wish/tradition of his corpse being carried up the mountain 🤔, Charlie and Dennis having similar shared trauma and both being faced with things that could bring those trauma back up this season, perhaps building up to some closure and heart to heart between them in the finale, 🤔 but that's for another post), anyway Charlie’s opening doors, he was the only one who knew what was behind some of the doors, he’s been denied his legacy, he’s starting to notice or show that he’s noticing just how fucked up all their lives actually are, like someone becoming aware of their narrative for the first time, previously living in a comedy, but starting to pull the thread and discovering it's actually interweaved with tragedy... while Frank still sits down for cake and Mac can't/doesn’t want to see what's right in front of him, and Dennis is likely spiralling and etc. etc., he's pulled back the curtain just a tad... while the others are still protected by it, but the curtain’s gonna come down eventually. And it’s not an all at once shift, this has been a long time coming, all happening slowly, nigh imperceptibly, like that post about boiling the frog, if you turn the heat up right away, it realizes what’s happening and jumps out right away, but if you turn the temperature (tragedy) up gradually, it takes a while before it notices, before we notice, and when it does notice, well...

Something about comedy that becomes tragedy the more you think on it. Something about the inherent connection between comedy and tragedy.

Sunny is a comedy. Sunny is a love story. Sunny is a tragedy. All statements true at the same time. But I think the latter might be coming to the forefront (and Charlie might see it coming). (But it’s not a change, not really, it’s same old sunny, because the heat’s always been on, they’re just only starting to really feel it).

[pastelavender88]

Sinbound- Chapter 10

Summary: It’s Eddie and Y/n’s baby shower and Buck is still hiding the fact that Eddie cheated on Y/n.

Series Masterlist

I was so occupied with planning the baby shower, I barely had time for anything. Buck has been calling me and trying to meet up and talk but I really had no time to spare. Finally the day of the baby shower came which meant I was away from my phone all day. It was set-up, food prep, more cooking, making sure all the games were in their proper area, and all the guests had the location. By the time that was done I went into the room to shower and change. The dress I found for today was perfect. It was a beautiful cream color that highlighted my features well and it hugged my bump enough to where it was noticeable but it didn’t feel like it. When I came out, guests were starting to roll in one by one. First was Bobby and Athena’s family, then Chimney, Maddie, and Jee, Then Karen, Hen, and Denny, Then Lucy, and Ravi, and finally there were my friends from my old job and a few mutual friends. Both Eddie and I’s families could not make it on account of my sister being stuck grading papers and my dad recovering from a golf injury. Eddie’s parents' flight got delayed and there was no point in them coming considering the next available flight would make them arrive at 3 am tomorrow. I noticed Buck still hasn't arrived yet but I tried to brush it off. Afterall, Buck wouldn’t miss my baby shower. As time went on food was eaten, games were played, and small talk was spoken,  but Buck still hadn’t arrived. Just as I started to lose hope, Buck walked through the door. “Buck, I’m so glad you made it.” I quickly greeted him.

“Yeah me too. Hey, Y/n can I talk to you really fast?”

“About?”

“Uhm I can’t really say it here. Can we go somewhere a little private?” 

“Yeah umm sure Buck.” I ushered Buck into a room where I knew no one would be. “What’s up?”

“I need to tell you something and it’s really important. I’ve been trying to reach you all week and you couldn’t meet me.”

“I know I’ve been really occupied. It isn’t anything about Alex, is it because I don’t want her to think because of the new baby I’m neglecting her needs or anything.”

“No it’s not about Alex.” Buck looked nervous to say anything. “How about after the party you come find me so we can talk?”

“You said it was important, what is it?”

“Now’s a bad time. Let’s do this later.” 

“Buck, what is it? Why are you so tight lipped all of a sudden?”

Buck let out a sigh. “I didn’t want to tell you here I just wanted to remind you that I needed to talk to you but uhh I heard something and I think you should know about it. Chimney and Maddie told me that Eddie confided in Chimney about sleeping with Ana.” When Buck said those words it’s like my whole world came crashing down. It felt like someone punched me square in the chest and then sat on it. Suddenly, my legs had a mind of their own and I was walking to the living area. Despite Buck’s attempts to get me to stay in the room, I made my way over to where Eddie was talking with Karen and Hen. "Karen, can you take all the kids outside? I need to talk to Eddie." 

 "What's going on?" Eddie asked.

"Karen please?" I practically begged without taking my eyes off of Eddie. 

 "Come on kids. Let's get some cake." Karen called. I waited until Karen and the kids were outside before I questioned Eddie. 

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Did you sleep with Ana?" I loudly asked. Silence filled the room as all eyes were on us. "Well tell me? Did you sleep with Ana or is Buck lying?"

 "Can we talk about this in private?" Eddie tried to whisper.

"You wanna talk about this in private. Why? Is this embarrassing for you?" I felt my eyes fill with tears of anger. "Is it true!" I yelled.

     "Yes. It's true." Eddie answered barely above a whisper. 

"Let me ask you something. What do you think is more embarrassing, everyone knowing that you cheated or being the last person to find out about your partner's infidelity while 7 months pregnant?"

"Seriously honey. I think we should talk about this in private."

"Well I don't." I turned towards everyone. "You heard it here first everyone, Y/n Y/L/N was cheated on by Eddie Diaz and she found out through her ex. I mean, isn't that something." I turned back towards Eddie. "Let me ask you something, what was it like huh? Did it feel great? Was it everything you ever hoped for? I mean I know it was getting pretty lackluster in the bedroom. I was getting bigger, less attractive..."

      "No, don't go there. That's not what that was about."

"Then what was it about?"

      "I didn't know we were having problems and I was drinking..."

"Alright everyone it's time for us to go." Athena interjected. “Let’s go, I’m not asking twice.” Slowly everyone started to clear out until it was just Eddie and I inside the house. Buck went outside to stay with the kids so they wouldn’t come inside or hear what was happening.

“So why? Why did you do it?”

“Do you really want a reason or are you just trying to get me to say it?”

“You have the audacity to question me? I’m not the one who stepped out in this relationship.”

“You didn’t? I mean you might as well have. This relationship was never just me and you, it was always me, you, and Buck. He’s like this tumor that just keeps growing back. Each time I think he’s finally out of our lives he’s back sniffing behind you, trying to come between us.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t flip this around on me or him.”

“Him. He can never do wrong in your eyes right. The golden boy?”

“You and I both know Buck is far from perfect, but at least he makes up for it. What do you do huh?” By now I couldn’t even see Eddie in front of me. My head was pounding, my eyes were flowing like rivers, and my mouth was moving without me even knowing what was being said. “You shift the blame on everyone else, but you don’t ever take a look in the mirror and see that if everything keeps going wrong in your life maybe it’s you.” After I said that we both went silent. “Just tell me why Eddie? Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. Don’t do that.”

“Because you weren’t here.”

“What are you talking about? I’ve been here for you everyday. I’ve been here since the moment you became my patient.”

“Yeah but you weren’t here for me. You were here but you weren’t here for me Y/n. Everytime we talked it’s like you never listened and everytime we tried to talk to each other it was an argument. So, I slept with Ana.”

“When?”

“That night.” He didn’t have to say more than that. I knew which night he was talking about and the more I thought about the next day the stupider I felt. What man leaves for hours and comes back home not guilty? 

I don’t know what it was but that felt like the straw that broke the camel's back. “A chance.” I said, barely above a whisper. 

“What?” Eddie replied. 

“A chance. I gave you a chance! I asked you if anything else happened and you looked me dead in the face and said nothing else happened! You lied to my face and you didn’t even flinch!”

“How could I! How could I tell you the truth knowing it would break your heart?”

“Oh you couldn’t tell me because it would break my heart but you didn’t think about that when you did it. Did you Eddie?” Eddie was quiet. “Eddie, I need you to be completely honest with me about these next two questions because your answers to them may determine everything.” Eddie just looked at me with those same helpless eyes I saw the day we met. “Was it only that night?”

“Of course. The next day after it happened I regretted it. I told her the same thing. It was a mistake, a one time mistake.”

I just nodded my head at his answer. I looked down at the engagement ring on my finger that now felt like a 1000 lbs weight. “Did you have the idea to propose to me before or after that night?” I looked at Eddie and saw his expression. The way his usually relaxed face twisted into a nervous wreck. His eyebrows were slumped and low. He was rubbing the nape of his neck and his arms crossed around his chest. 

“After.”

“So you didn’t want to marry me?” My eyes welled all over again and I could feel myself losing control. “You felt guilty about what you did.” My arms crossed, hands gripping my upper arms in hope to give myself some kind of comfort. 

“No, of course not baby. I want to marry you.” Eddie crossed the invisible barrier that was between us and raised his hand to touch me but I couldn’t stomach his touch. His touch felt almost disgusting and I quickly stepped back to shake it off. 

“When you proposed to me you said you never felt this way since Shannon. That after losing her you never thought you could feel this way about anyone. Was that all a lie? A way to talk yourself into it, to convince yourself that you felt that way. That I wasn’t anything more than some girlfriend that you knocked up?”

“Y/n, don’t ever say that. I love you more than words can describe. That night was a mistake.”

“But it happened Eddie! And I can’t get past that. I can’t get past the fact that you lied to me, I can’t get past the fact that you proposed to me knowing that you cheated on me, I can’t get past the fact that not one, not two, but three people knew before me. I can’t get past the fact that I don't trust you anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t do it. I can’t do you. I’m done Eddie.”

“You’re done? What do you mean?” His words came out rushed and jumbled together that if I wasn’t so focused on this moment I might have misunderstood them.

“You know exactly what I mean.” I slipped the ring, not even a ring anymore to me, an anchor, off of my finger and handed it to Eddie. “I deserve better. You deserve better. Alex, Christopher, and this baby deserve better. Not this constant rollercoaster of hurt and pain and sorrow. I can’t do it any longer. The thought of you and her will always be on my mind. Maybe one day I can forget but for now I know I won’t be able to. Give me 2 hours. 2 hours to pack Alex and I’s things. We’re done Eddie. Please leave.” The tears were still flowing but the anger in my voice was long gone. Eddie tried to speak but it seemed like nothing could come out. Like everything he needed to say was already said. I could tell he was hurting. He wanted to scream, shout, cry, but he just couldn't. He knew, deep down he knew, I’m done. As he tried to approach me I threw my hand up to signal for him to stop. Eddie walked away without a word towards the backyard to get Christopher and maybe explain what was going on. I knew I wouldn’t be able to take the look on Christopher’s face as Eddie was taking him, the boy that became my son in just a short time, away. I went to my room and broke down. It felt like the walls in the room were caving in on me. Like the air in the room was replaced with something entirely else. 

As I sat in there and weeped for what felt like hours, I heard a knock on the door. It was Buck. He was still there with Alex and came to check on me. He could tell by my state that I wasn’t okay so there was no need for that stupid question. He just sat beside me on the bed, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his embrace. As my head rested on his shoulder and I soaked his polo, I heard him whisper “I got you.”

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be the chapter I took a hiatus on which would leave like a massive cliffhanger but I got behind on posting so my bad. The next chapter will be out tomorrow and the reason I’ve been uploading like crazy is because I finally have a break from school (yay spring break) and I’m trying to get as much done as I can before it starts back up and I’m can’t focus on my page anymore. I see the requests in my inbox and I plan on replying soon.

[kozmicmizuu]

hashira incorrect quotes cause i’m bored 😔

————————————————————————

Giyuu: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Giyuu: *waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro*

Shinobu : Can you keep a secret?

Giyuu: Do you know anything about my life?

Shinobu : No, I don't. Good point.

Muichiro : What was that?

Kyojuro: My shirt fell.

Muichiro : It sounded a lot heavier than that.

Giyuu: They were in it.

Kyojuro: Muichiro , what do you have?

Muichiro : A KNIFE!

Kyojuro: Okay, have fu-

Kanroji : NO!

Tengen : Where are my fucking keys?

Gyomei: Tengen , Muichiro is around, can you say it a little nicer?

Tengen : May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

Kanroji , carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Shinobu : …

Shinobu : What’s in the box?

Kanroji : What woul-

Shinobu : Kanroji , what’s in the box?

Kanroji : I think you know.

Sanemi: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-

Giyuu: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug

Sanemi: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-

Tengen , recording: This is so cute.

Tengen: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Giyuu: Several traffic violations.

Kyojuro: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Sanemi : Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Obanai: Also, that’s not our car.

Tengen: You're a loose cannon, Giyuu.

Giyuu: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Kyojuro: I think you play by your own rules.

Sanemi : No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Tengen: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Giyuu: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Obanai is a loose cannon.

Obanai: *smashes a chair*

Tengen: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Giyuu: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Kyojuro: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Sanemi : *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Obanai: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Tengen: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Kyojuro will and will not eat.

Giyuu: Grass? Yes!

Tengen: Moss? Yes!!

Giyuu: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Tengen: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Giyuu: Worms? Sometimes!

Tengen: Rocks? Usually nah.

Giyuu: Twigs? Usually!

Tengen: Obanai's cooking? Inconclusive!

Sanemi : How did you… test this?

Tengen: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Sanemi : ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Obanai: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Tengen: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Giyuu: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Kyojuro: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Sanemi : I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Obanai: My moral code, is that you?

Tengen:

Tengen: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

————————————————————————

links to the generators i used!! :

[marley-manson]

scattered thoughts on season 2 of xena after marathoning it over a few nights.

-- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is so fun lmao, it didn't even occur to me that the vampire ladies could've been hypnotizing Gab until I saw it mentioned in a tumblr post lol, I 100% just took it as Gabrielle being attracted to them. I mean one of them even has a buzzcut.

-- Xena is great because it's a true genderswapped cheesy genre show, complete with extremely bland one episode love interests who die to provide our heroes with manpain. Also Xena totally subconsciously let Callisto kill Perdicus, come on. Loved Gab's rage afterwards <3

-- Lucy Lawless and Hudson Leick are excellent at playing each other. Hudson Leick is so good as Xena that I always forget Lucy Lawless isn't actually in Ten Little Warlords lol, and Lucy Lawless' Callisto is great too, especially when she's playing Callisto pretending to be Xena.

-- Love Ares' first episode as a mortal too. Love that he's scared of rats, a decent fighter but still needs Xena to save him a few times, and the moment where he contemplates having actual blood on his hands for the first time is *chef kiss*

-- I'd skipped Miss Amphipolis when I first watched Xena because I'd heard it was transphobic, and then saw a post praising the episode for its progressiveness so I was like hm I guess I'll give it a shot. Honestly, it had its good elements, but yeah I think the criticism is warranted. Awesome if it's true that Karen Dior was openly HIV+ when she and Lucy Lawless kissed here, love that. And if the idea was that Miss Artiphys was more a drag queen than a trans woman it's not too bad I guess? But if she was meant to be trans then yikes, terrible depiction, lots of 'he's really a man' shit (plus the name c'mon). And the lack of clarity doesn't help either way.

Also Gabrielle's mild homophobia was a weird choice, and I didn't like that she only won after every other woman turned down the crown lol - I get the point that none of them really wanted it or enjoyed the pageant while Artiphys did, but I feel like that point could've been made without putting her in last place.

Kudos to the director for objectifying her just as much as any other woman though lol.

-- They should've given a little bit more time to Xena and M'lila's relationship in Destiny, since her death is the catalyst for her going evil, but unfortunately it felt like a very arbitrary final straw. It was funny though that M'lila died for her because she just knew it wasn't Xena's time to die yet lol. Like c'mon, at least imply they got close off-screen.

-- Also Xena 🤝 Dennis Reynolds: because of the implication. I'm actually torn on how much that's intended lol, because on the one hand they certainly do not frame Xena as an actual rapist here, she's still sympathetic and Caesar's still the ruthless villian. But on the other hand the predator/prey metaphor when she was coming onto him was incredibly on the nose (she even says "cutting off his path of retreat" like, yikes girl); Xena later points out that crucifying her was an overreaction and thinks she must've fucked with his head; Caesar has psychosexual nightmares about her in another later ep (ie killing him mid sex basic instinct style); and Caesar's "all those who prey on Rome" line is basically the payoff to his earlier "I am Rome" thing, essentially a coded way of phrasing "prey on me," which fits the sex thing more than the hostage thing, since that was literally preying on Rome.

Idk, I'm curious what the writers were aiming for here. Maybe some of it's just meant to suggest that Caesar has a crush and is mad about it lol, but it's eyebrow raising.

-- Also also: the montage of Gab and Xena at the end of Destiny is so ridiculously romantic <3

-- I love that Xena agrees to only possess Autolycus when he gives her permission, then bodyjacks him whenever he says no anyway. Autolycus is a delight in this ep. And I love how the show does everything it can to make it clear that it's Xena kissing Gabrielle in Autolycus' body, from Bruce Campbell's acting demonstrating exactly when he regains control of himself, to his "Seems like you two worked things out" in repsonse to the kiss, to him not noticing his hand was still on Gab's ass lmao.

-- A Day in the Life is still such a ridiculously good episode.

-- Can't believe how almost explicitly gay Blind Faith is even with the rest of season 2 to compare it to. Like okay maybe it's not quite The Quest's kiss, but something about Gabrielle's conversation with the gay dude where they both very overtly use ambiguous pronouns for the people they love feels like a step beyond. It's not just two close characters who love each other, it's lesbians situated specifically in a gay solidarity context, idk. I love it.

-- Also I cite this a lot but idc, I still fucking LOVE that Xena is temporarily rendered blind in this episode and she is still never physically challenged by anyone in a fight lmao. Like you'd think as a plotpoint it would be a way to have her uncharacteristically defenseless and reliant on this one-ep dude to defend her, right? Nope, she still outclasses him, all she needs him for is to watch out for cliff edges.

-- Also also I love that this annoying dude sees her as an idol and it's just accepted as obvious, absolutely no commentary on a dude modeling himself after a woman. She's Xena, of course aspiring warlords desperately wanna be her.

-- Ulysses here to reassure the straight audience after the tidal wave of gay we've seen in the last few episodes, but it can't even do that right because Gabrielle and Xena still 100% interact like they're hooking up and catching feelings but not exclusive.

-- The Price would be a perfect episode if it weren't for the racism in the depiction of the antagonist force, man, it's such a blot on an ideal Xena story. Also Xena is at her absolute sexiest here. I'm usually more of a Gab girl, but fuuuuuuck her hardass sadistic commander persona has me like 🥵. Hits the perfect balance of serious and dark, while her warlord flashbacks tend to be a little too exaggerated and campy to be truly sexy to me.

-- Also another episode where I love how men relate to Xena. She shows up, they find out she's Xena, and they immediately go "holy shit please take over, please command us, you're our only hope."

-- Cecrops is one of my favourite one-ep characters I think

-- Comedy of Eros is dumb but fun lol, I always enjoy how the show flips the script for Xena's occasional heterosexual turns, in the sense that she's the active participant, acting upon the men and going for what she wants. It is a relief when it stops being earnest and starts being solely for the sake of manipulation though lol, and I'm glad we have Cupid to blame for this one too. In fact, I think all the genuine reciprocated het is behind us now, right?

-- I love the fake out where Gabrielle nearly sees Xena first before Joxer gets in the way. I feel like I've seen some writer say once that they considered having Gabrielle fall in love with Xena for this episode, but they decided against it because they didn't want it to be a joke she gets over, and I am 100% behind that reasoning. It would've felt cheap imo. But the tease was cute lol, they know what the audience wants.

[djservo]

cutting it soo close to the wire oopsie but i'm here!! 2023 is out, 2024 is in. also in: your december reading update? did you hit 50 books read? what are your 2024 reading goals, anything that suprised you about your 2023 reading other than falling in love with Dennis Cooper?

I read 12 books last month man it was a blur!!

ok there's just too many for me to indulge in any rambling so I'm gonna try and keep things short n sweet

Nana Vol. 1-3 by Ai Yazawa - I was never really into manga growing up but this is like exactly the type of story and style I wanna wrap myself up in always!! so much fun!! the rumors are true, I love a roommate story!!! I read each one in a single sitting so I wanna pace myself thru the rest of the series so that I don't spoil + finish it all at once </3

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury - honestly not as fantastical as I was expecting for some reason but it reminded me of Coraline which was fun! I could see Neil Gaiman getting inspo from this (edit: literally just looked it up and yes Gaiman indeed cites him as a direct influence yup yup)

Out of Time by Samira Azzam - something almost Steinbeck-like in these vignettes of everyday life in a very culturally-specific way that I really enjoy. really insightful introduction that mentioned how although most her stories didn't explicitly mention Palestine, they still were recognizable as a Palestinian existence + therefore shaped a sort of Palestinian consciousness for readers that were often blocked from accessing their own culture in academic settings

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison - I can't believe it took me this long to read something by Toni Morrison / that I never read her in any English classes?? like she seems so foundational to the grand scheme of American literature.... ridiculous! so phenomenal and gripping and darker than I expected. not just an engrossing story but also a really intentional and haunting use of language that really sinks you into that world/shifting perspectives

Tasting the Sky: A Palestinian Childhood by Ibtisam Barakat - this is like the only Palestinian book my local library has (shameful!) so I checked it out on a whim and was so surprised at what an amazing memoir this is!!! touching and vibrant and left me so eager to read her follow-up memoir based around her teenage years. I feel like this is a great introduction to Palestinian literature in general bc while it does (obviously) tie in the history and reality of occupation, the amount of love & detail given to the everyday things - merely going to school or playing with her brothers - was so enlightening and relatable

Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris - the first/main story, SantaLand Diaries, is still one of my favorites - I love stories about odd jobs + boy does Sedaris have so many tales to tell about those!! reread this in one sitting before I sent it off to a friend who seems to find herself in a new odd job each year so I figured she'd resonate

Gaza in Crisis and On Palestine by Noam Chomsky & Ilan Pappé, edited by Frank Barat - 2 separate books but I'll talk about them together since they're companion pieces. surprisingly accessible, probably due to the format of essays mixed with interviews. On Palestine echoed a lot of the sentiments of Gaza in Crisis so I'd recommend On Palestine for a sort of "updated" version (and in my opinion, more thorough). a good stepping stone for some of the meatier/more history-dense books on my TBR

Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel - yknow the thing about recipe bloggers who will intersperse their super personal life story into the recipe? this is like a whole book of that it's kinda iconic... honestly a little juvenile and ridiculous at times but I had a fun + have made hot chocolate every single day since reading this which literally wasn't even one of the recipes included/the title itself comes from like 1 short part towards the end but still... Ms. Esquivel's impact... the movie adaptation was really well done too, captured the magical realism surprisingly well without making things look hokey + Man I just love food in film!!!

Good Sense & the Faithless by Michelle T. Clinton - beautiful sexy thoughtful angry hopeful healing.... I really love her and I'm glad I ended the year with this!!

YES I surpassed by goal which honestly did surprise me bc if you recall I sliced my 50 down to 36 a few months ago because 50 didn't seem feasible at the time, but I guess the lesson is to never underestimate winter reading!! still I'm playing it safe and declaring 40 as my 2024 goal... for now.... a few weeks ago I made a little reading syllabus for the year where each month is a different theme (except for january + august to give myself some time to get the wiggles/impulsive reads out ya know) and I mostly sourced from books I already own or books in my TBR so I'm really excited to have more structure to my reads + actually get through some of the books in my ever-growing TBR!! shameful and embarrassing that it's nearly at 1k books like GOD just READ them, woman!!! I think I'm also surprised at how many graphic novel collections I read (3!) which maybe shouldn't be that surprising bc I always have a good time with graphic novels but I think these particular reads opened the door to a buncha different authors and artists and literary circles which ofc I'm always grateful for! yay reading!!

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

First thoughts from just one watch under shitty circumstances with bad internet and worse sound:

RAMBLING FRANK vs RUSSIA THOUGHTS

I was very worried about this episode with how sacred the S5 DENNIS System episode is to us all. Didn't want a Thunder Gun 4 situation on our hands and thankfully they avoided it so hard! I think having the plot with Charlie, Frank, the mums, Uncle Jack and chess really helped out to make it feel more than a direct sequel.

SINNED -> DENNIS -> SINNED -> DENNIS — I'm so impressed with this. How did I, a wholeass Sunny fan, miss this for so long?! Three cheers to whoever came up with that inversion, really! Definitely something that happened in the writer's room and made everyone lose their shit for sure. I wonder who it was, could be Meg or another writer too, given how collaborative they all are!

And can I just say, Dennis the Restaurant Manager... oh how I love you so much! The Waitress is Getting Married is a personal favourite of mine and I wasn't expecting a bit of a redux of that whole situation.

I was so worried about all the "Mac getting a boyfriend and it being Ryan Reynolds" theories and I absolutely wanted none of that. Everyone had speculated it to death and it wouldn't have been fun anymore (not to mention I do not care for RR in my Sunny, I'm sure he's fine, but I don't need his and Rob's PR relationship filtering through into my dickandball show no I don't "find them cute" and I won't elaborate here anymore).

I know we'd guessed that Johnny could've been Dennis catfishing Mac, but it definitely felt like we were doing an Insane Fan Speculation more than anything — and for it to turn out to be correct! And in the best way, because we never could've seen the vibrating anal beads coming!! That's the best kind of "called it but it's still unpredictable".

It really broke my mind, this episode did. And don't even get me started on the Macdennis and queer Dennis of it all! As a longtime believer in Bisexual Dennis, I won so hard! All of us Queer Dennis Truthers won so fucking hard!

[Unpopular Take incoming] This is the first Sunny episode credited to Meg for writing that has felt so wholly "Classic Sunny" and super fuckin hilarious to me. I always appreciated her understanding of the characters and she's always a very solid writer, but this is the first time where I felt myself thinking ok, you she write RCG/Hornsby/Marder-Rosell/Chernins-level of an insane chaotic Sunny episode with multiple belly laughs and not just slightly Community-fied versions of the gang.

The closest her writing has felt like true Sunny to me before this was Dee Day, so I'm glad to see her grow and improve too, and I wonder if the podcast rewatch has helped in that regard! Must also help to have a classic S5 structure to play off in The D.E.N.N.I.S. System! (And ofc writing is collaborative, so well done to RCG and all the writers who pitched ideas and rewrites that ended up shaping this episode!)

I knew Heath Cullens directing meant a good chance of some interesting camerawork (and I've gotta say that even The Gang Inflates had some more dynamic shots than we've been getting in some of the later years and it's got to be the Cullens directing), but I wasn't expecting a whole visual callback to Being Frank! Loved it.

And the editing! The DENNIS System has always been great for cutaway gags and fun little inserts, so I loved seeing that carried out here with the cuts to Mac and Dee fucking up their dates and then finally pulling out the Magic Tissue of Mummy Issues (oh the potential for meta especially with the twins!). The pacing was so good!

Sunny pacing needs to feel like Mac crashing Dee's car into a wall while we are all Charlie watching it in real time and screaming when it's over.

Random strings of words because I'm too excited to be coherent:

Glenn's acting. His faces. His eyes. His range in this episode. Glacting. Juilliard. All the hits. All the big ones.

Mac and Dennis have canonically had sex in two different ways now, and yes, I'm including their sex tape/porn viewing sessions where they both masturbate together

Did Dennis pull out Mac's anal beads when he was asleep?

Vibrating fucking anal beads what the ACTUAL FUCK!

How many people did the gang drug again?

Danny DeVito with a vibrating asshole comedy acting 12/10 he's an international treasure for a reason

Dee stealing people's phones she's so stupid and bad at men. Never change Dee.

Uncle Jack though, pls change plz, I'm an IASIP loving degenerate so I laughed in horror at his creepiness ofc as I have since 1x7 but fucking hell man, can he be in his jail era already! Poor Charlie!

Hey, Charlie's got new America's just as we were promised on the pod

Oh I should make a post about everything we saw in this episode and that episode of the pod where they gave us all those hints, especially Meg talking about struggling with this cold open — added to the never-ending list of drafts and posts that will hopefully one day make it onto the blog yeah I'm lying to myself now

Parental issues everywhere this season, especially with the mums. Reynolds kids, I can't wait to lovingly put you under my microscope. Once I've rewatched this episode with good sound.

Also just in general, the SINNED system just says SO much about our babygirl's psychology, does it not? Why did so much of it sound like self-insert speeches, like he's been doing this to Mac or smt? Don't even talk to me about The Gang Chokes!

What does r/iasip have to say about— no, I'm in my happy place, I'm not even gonna go there.

Mrs Mac and Mrs Kelly watching TV together like that, they really are lesbian life partners.

Dennis blue shirt with top-stick between those buttons, my beloved. I am looking, respectfully.

And can we talk about the "opening the ketchup bottle" scene? We have to take about that scene! Dennis... he's ruining me... need to gnaw on him and suck on his fingers wait I'm browning out...

Sidenote: I love whenever the show references news stories which were super fucking big at a very specific time in a very specific niche, especially with my whole family being so chess-obsessed. The cheating scandals and anal bead… never thought I'd see a Sunny crossover but can't say I'm not loving the shit out of it!

[bihansthot]

My little ham is being extremely cuddly tonight and I am very here for it, I was very sad earlier because I can’t remember what Jäger smells like anymore. I find myself smelling Denny often hoping I won’t forget him too. For some reason I’ve been thinking a lot about Jäger’s final moments lately which prompts trying to remember what he smelled like, what he felt like and I just can’t remember, all of those memories are wrapped up and laced with so much sadness and trauma I just can’t separate them. I don’t know what’s bringing these feelings back up lately, maybe because I haven’t been feeling well and have been unhappy because I feel unwell. I need a nice distraction and neither of the guys I’ve been seeing are providing it. Maybe I need a hobby? Writing seems too constricting lately and not fun. I’ve been thinking about crocheting again but a) I have to learn again which no biggie YouTube taught me when my niece was born 15 years ago, it can teach me again, b) I have no clue what to make? I’d make something for Denny but he has so many clothes lol I guess he can always use more? Maybe cute hats like Good Boy Ollie has? Denny deserves all the cute clothes and hats, he’s such a good baby. I don’t deserve him.

In non depressing dog stuff I made some video game resolutions for the year that I’m not sure I’ll accomplish. If you’ve followed me for a very long time you know I also love Soulsborne games, I’ve beaten DS3 and Elden Ring but my resolution is to beat the DLC for DS3, I want to beat Malenia and Placidusax in Elden Ring and finally play Bloodborne. I’ve never played Bloodborne despite absolutely loving it. The problem is I haven’t touched DS3 since I beat it so I can’t remember how to play it and Elden Ring I’m reasonably confident I can beat Placidusax but Malenia woof waterfowl dance am I right? THB I had enough health to tank most of it if I could avoid at least one but it’s her stage two form scarlet rot dive bomb that killed me. Admittedly I’ve only tried Malenia 2 or 3 times, my partner got Let Me Solo Her themselves to beat Malenia for them. I don’t know where to start though, I have to restart them all from the beginning because I’m on PS5 now, I guess I should go in order? So Bloodborne first? I’m so scared though everything is so fast 😭 I’m a big dumb, clunky over level and use the biggest axe in the game type player and I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep up. I don’t know if I can do the DLC I don’t know if I can beat Lady Maria or the Orphan of Kos but I guess I’ll try. Wish me luck y’all, I’m not embarking back into Soulsborne until I 100% Season of the Cryomancer though and of course this will have no bearing on my MK lust/content or anything, I don’t really have Soulsborne husbandos/waifus though I guess there’s boy Anri and Vicar Amelia (yes I’m a monster fucker, deal with it) oh oh and my precious stingray boyfriend Lorian, I don’t write for any of them or self ship with any of them so there will still be lots of dumb egg jokes. Don’t worry I’m in no way taking a break from MK I’m just indulging in another franchise I love deeply too, multitasking. So I guess just a heads up that there may be an influx of rage posts about Soulsborne bosses lol Or me professing my endless love for Greirat and Boc lol Will I ever go back to Baldur’s Gate 3?? Who knows! Probably not tbh I don’t like anyone other than Gribbo and Scratch not to mention I’ve seen my partner put just hours into it. I’ve seen the game and maybe I’m just bad at it but it’s just not fun for me which is why I’m going back to Soulsborne games lol I’ll tag my posts with “Soulsborne” if you don’t wanna see my rambling about the games though but like I said I promise I will still be all MK all the time after all it’s my true love ❤️

This has been a pointless Sol rambles, thanks for reading 🩵

[theseeingsage]

in a perfect lifetime, on a perfect timeline ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹

love messages

taurus leo scorpio aquarius • s m r v

some unfinished business is being brought back to the forefront of your life. this is a situation that constantly challenges you to break old habits and patterns and may involve a lot of back and forth due to past baggage. yet Spirit is saying it’s not over just yet. you have been prioritizing only the things that make sense in the long run, and i see that this current chapter isn’t really focused on love or emotions. that’s not to say that you don’t want it; it’s just that you know things will play out exactly how they need to as long as you remain logical.

you are wanting a partner rather than a project, someone that values teamwork and the delicate balance of things. there is something substantial that you are working towards, and there is a huge need to be careful who you allow into your space at this time. this person is divinely sent, and this union will allow you both to create or expand your connection with Spirit. yes, you are correct in your weariness and caution, yet be aware that your reluctance is not causing you to wear a false self-mask in this situation. revealing your true self will actually result in you and this person growing closer. they want the same thing as you.

you or this person may have had romantic feelings for someone else in the past, yet there is an energy of realizing that someone’s time is finally up and you need to be more assertive in creating distance with them. there is nothing left to invest in that situation, and the love and energy is better suited for this new person. you both are coming out as each other’s divine counterpart, the other whole that creates something grander. there is no halves in this connection, you both have done the necessary work to make this last & are willing to invest equally. whatever was felt by either of you for past people is being overshadowed by the chemistry you two have. there is a strong magnetic attraction present, and it could be causing one or both of you to feel anxious and restless.

someone is stressing about how this is going to affect their life plan, and it may be leading to panic attacks. though there is harmony and a lifelong commitment here, there is still the worry of this triggering past traumas and wounds. there’s a desire to be fun and whimsical, yet the possibility of codependency and addiction cannot be ignored. Spirit is saying that you deserve love, and this will only end badly if you two allow it to. remember the mask from the beginning of the reading? yeah, be sure neither of you is hiding away; it may cause confusion.

take your time to figure this out yet remain open to the possibilities that could come from this. this was definitely worth waiting for, and if given a chance, this will be made apparent. it will take some work, yet as long as you both prioritize being diplomatic and hearing each other’s thoughts and emotions, the outcome is literally the lovers card. this could represent more romantic love between you two, a business partnership, or just simply teaching you both how to love yourself more. it’s a win-win for all parties involved. the answer to your question is yes!

signs & synchronicities:

don’t look any further x dennis edwards, “you appear often in my dreams”, may gemini (05/21 - 5/31), freckles, cancer season (06/21 - 07/22), hazel eyes, pisces season (02/19 - 03/20), (God must have spent) a little more time x *nsync, “you inspire me so much! you are my muse…”, april taurus (04/20 - 4/30), initials (first middle last) m o r u x, september virgo( 09/01 - 09/22), over 6ft, transitioned parent, january aquarius (01/20 - 01/31), 3rd party karmic, under 6ft, must be nice x lyfe jennings, “you are the only one who manages to calm down my inner beast.”, anything x jaheim x next

all readings are timeless & can be applied to your tropical or sidereal chart.