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junos-office-drama · 4 months
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Blue Beard, Red Rose (3.4k, complete)
"And here are the keys to all the rooms in my castle, which you may explore at your leisure — save the great parlor, which you are never to enter."
Rosalind contemplated her new husband, then the heavy ring of keys he had laid in her hand.
"First is the key to my great store room," he continued, pointing to the first key on the iron ring. "And this key will open the chests within, piled high with all the silver and gold and jewels you could ever desire, and this one opens the money boxes, that you might have coin for anything you wish to buy."
She nodded as he counted through the keys: for gates and doors, for trunks and lockboxes, for bedchambers and apartments, for closets and cabinets — for every inch of the castle.
"And this is the key to the great parlor, but you must never unlock it — never even put the key into the lock — lest you incur my wrath."
Rosalind paused, once again contemplating her husband.
He should have been as rich in brides as he was in gold, if not for the feature that had come to define him: the blue beard that sprouted from his chin.
It was not blue the way that old age often fades black into blue, for that was common enough among men of his age, but rather the blue of an evening sky, of a deep lake, of a polished sapphire.
This beard, it seemed, had rendered him so horrible and ugly to both noble lady and peasant girl alike that none would have him, not even when his proposal came with a mountain of gold.
It did not help matters that he had had six wives already, though no one knew what had become of them.
Rosalind did not mind the blue, for he had courted her with kindness, and that mountain of gold promised an escape from beneath her lord father's roof.
Besides, it seemed proper, that she marry a man with as many missing wives as she had failed suitors.
"Do you wish for the key back?" she asked, moving to open the iron ring so that she could slip the key free.
This time, it was Blue Beard that paused, his dark brow settling heavy over his eyes.
"No, you are my wife, and as such you are entitled to all the keys of my home," he answered at last. "But you must never use the key to the great parlor, for if you do, then there shall be dread consequences."
Rosalind simply nodded. "What about the grounds?"
Blue Beard frowned at her. "The grounds?"
She gestured towards the window. "The lawn, and the forest beyond. Are there any restrictions on exploring those?"
"No," he replied, puzzlement crinkling the skin around his eyes. "What interest do you have in the grounds?"
"I would like to have a garden," she said, looking towards the window before turning back towards him. "Like the one I tended at home. May I spend some of your coin on that?"
Blue Beard blinked. "It is our coin, for you are my wife, and what is mine is yours. You may have any plot of land you wish for a garden, and spend as much as you desire in its planting, so long as you do not—"
"I won't." Rosalind rubbed her finger over the little silver key to the great parlor. "But I should like to have a private garden, a space that is mine alone. Will that trouble you, husband, if I am to have a garden as secret as your parlor, that you are equally forbidden to enter?"
After considering her question for a long moment, Blue Beard acceded, for he could see no harm in his wife's request.
In the spring, she planted the hedges. Within that broad square, she planted her flowers: foxglove and forget-me-not, narcissus and nightshade, lilies and larkspur, and roses — red, red roses.
Blue Beard traveled that season, as he always did, and upon parting, he encouraged his young wife to host her friends and family while he was gone, to explore and enjoy the castle to its fullest extent, and to indulge in all the riches and luxury he had to offer — so long as she did not enter the forbidden parlor.
When he returned, there was no sign that any guests had crossed the castle's threshold, nor that his wife had crossed the parlor's threshold.
By summer, the hedges had grown tall and thick as walls, and Rosalind used her husband's hoard of coins to pay for the forging of a solid iron gate for her garden. It spanned the sole break in the hedges, transforming the garden into a stout green fortress.
Blue Beard traveled once more, this time imploring his young wife to bring company to their sprawling estate, to enjoy the castle's drawing rooms and library and galleries, to drape herself in silks and jewels — so long as she did not open the door to the great parlor.
When he returned, the castle was as empty as he had left it, and the parlor door as locked as it had always been, though he noted one small change: a golden key added to the iron ring, nestled next to the little silver one.
As autumn arrived, Rosalind was still occupied with her garden: weeding, trimming, planting, and any other task that allowed her to track dirt into the courtyard, or so it seemed to Blue Beard. He watched her with great interest as she locked and unlocked the garden gate, his mind frequently drawn to the golden key she had added to the iron ring.
Blue Beard traveled again, his last journey of the year, and once more offered his wife the full pleasure of their home: to entertain, if she so pleased; to redecorate, if she so chose; to burn to ashes, if she was so inclined — so long as she did not unlock the door to the great parlor.
When he returned, there was a dark smudge on the little silver key — but it was only mud, tromped in from Rosalind's garden.
A hard frost announced the coming winter, and the end of Blue Beard's travels.
He sat one night in front of the drawing room hearth, frowning as he watched the flames.
"Troubled, husband?" Rosalind asked as she looked up from her embroidery.
"I do not know what to do with a wife in winter," he admitted. "None of the others made it this far."
She lifted a single brow.
"They had all opened the great parlor by now."
"Ah," she said. "Well, I have no need of your parlor. I have my garden."
He rubbed a hand over his beard. "You do not have your garden now, for it is buried under the snow."
Rosalind stabbed her needle back into the cloth she had been embroidering. "I have you now, and you will not travel again until the snow has melted."
"Which begs the question: What does one do with a wife in winter?"
A sly look passed through her green eyes. "I can think of a few things, husband." She tugged on the red floss. "But for now, perhaps you can tell me why you travel so, and why I am so often without a husband."
Blue Beard studied his wife, for it seemed to him an odd question. None of his other wives had ever asked why he traveled; only two had survived to see him off a second time, and only Rosalind had witnessed a third departure.
But Rosalind had welcomed him home a third time without fear, and it was said that magic dwelt in threes.
So Blue Beard told her why he traveled so.
He spoke of the scheming youngest brother, who plotted to usurp his station.
He spoke of the slippery court cofferer, who demanded his palms greased with gold.
He spoke of the savage pirate captain, who roamed the seas and seized his cargo ships.
Rosalind nodded as he spoke, drawing her red floss back and forth through the cloth, until it had formed a red rose.
"Come, then, husband," she said as she set the finished bloom down upon the table. "Let me show you what one does with a wife in winter."
Too quickly, the winter nights passed.
When the sun rose bright upon the spring buds, it was time for Blue Beard to travel once more.
Once again, he bade his wife to invite her favorite company to their castle while he was gone, to host galas and masquerades in their many courts and halls, and to deck herself with gilt and gold until she glittered like the king's crown.
Before he left, Rosalind tucked a pale blue rose into his pocket. "Travel well, husband," she bid him, "and I will greet you happily upon your return."
And when Blue Beard returned weary from his long voyage, she welcomed him with tender arms.
"I journeyed far and wide, across every mile of the countryside," he told her as he slumped into her embrace. "But I could not find my brother, and I fear he will brew great trouble for us."
"Fear not, husband," Rosalind replied. "For I have done as you bade, and invited many guests from far and wide to our home while you were away. Among them, your youngest brother." She paused, and smiled. "I think he shall trouble you no longer, so long as you do not enter my garden."
Blue Beard swore he would not, for though the golden key bore a fresh stain on its bow, its silver twin still lay polished and gleaming upon the iron ring. Instead he kissed his wife upon her pretty cheeks, and led her upstairs.
Some weeks later, when the sun rose hot upon the summer blossoms, it was time for Blue Beard to travel once more.
As he had before, he entreated his wife to host as many guests as she pleased at their grand estate, from noble friend to penniless relation; to make each room of their fine castle her own, to furnish and style as she pleased; and to empty his money boxes of every last pence, if only to lavish herself with gifts.
Before he left, Rosalind tucked a shining yellow rose into his pocket. "Travel safe, husband," she bid him, "and I will greet you sweetly upon your return."
And when Blue Beard returned worn from his long voyage, she welcomed him with gentle arms.
"I scoured every inch of the city," he told her as he fell into her embrace. "But I could not locate the court cofferer, and I worry he will cause fear trouble for us."
"Fear not, husband," Rosalind replied. "For I have done as you entreated, and redecorated the western wing to my tastes. The court cofferer was only too pleased to aid me in my purchases, and to slip a few coins into his own purse as he did so." She paused, and smiled. "I think he shall trouble you no longer, so long as you do not open the gate to my garden."
Blue Beard pledged that he would not, for though the golden key bore a deep gouge in its shank, its silver twin still lay unmarked and unused upon the iron ring. Instead he kissed his wife upon her smooth forehead, and led her upstairs.
The month following, when the sun rose golden upon the autumn harvest, it was time for Blue Beard to travel once more.
As he always did, he commanded his wife to surround herself with those whose company she enjoyed best, to transform their sumptuous castle into her personal paradise, and to spend every coin she might find in his chests and trunks and strong boxes.
Before he left, Rosalind tucked a pitch black rose into his pocket. "Travel swiftly, husband," she bid him, "and I will greet you eagerly upon your return."
And when Blue Beard returned weak from his long voyage, she welcomed him with strong arms.
"I sailed every stretch of the seas," he told her as he sank into her embrace. "But I could not track down the dread pirate, and I fear he will bring great trouble upon us."
"Fear not, husband," Rosalind replied. "For I have done as you commanded, and I have emptied your chests and trunks and strong boxes of every ounce of gold they contained. I have purchased the pirate captain's ship, and bribed him to come ashore." She paused, and smiled. "I think he shall trouble you no longer, so long as you do not unlock the gate to my garden."
Blue Beard promised he would not, for though the golden key had grown tarnished with use, its silver twin still lay clean and bright upon the iron ring. Instead he kissed his wife upon her red mouth, and led her upstairs.
When the sun rose pale upon the frosted lawn, it was time for Blue Beard to rest.
Though he could not rest, for the golden key tempted him, even in his dreams.
Blue Beard knew every inch of his castle, even knew what lay behind the locked door of the great parlor, but he did not know what lay beyond the locked gate of his wife's garden.
"Flowers," she told him, "just like any other garden. Much the way your great parlor, I imagine, contains tables and chairs, just like any other great parlor."
Though it was an answer, it did not quell Blue Beard: for his great parlor held more than tables and chairs, and so in turn her garden must hold more than flowers.
It was the first time, he realized, that he had a curiosity that he was unable to satisfy.
Night after night, the thought gnawed at him, until he could bear its teeth no longer.
On the day that his wife chose to accompany their steward to the market, Blue Beard slipped the small golden key from its iron ring and crept through the snow to the garden gate.
There he hesitated, for there had been vows between husband and wife, and his wife had kept her vow. The thought tugged at him that there might be some terrible price to pay for his indiscretion, much as he had warned his wife of the frightful consequences of violating his own admonitions.
And yet... and yet the golden key gleamed so brilliantly in his hand that he could not but insert it into its lock. With a quick twist of his fingers, the locking mechanism sprung open, and the iron hinges swung inwards.
At first, Blue Beard saw only withered flowers, weighed down by a blanket of crisp snow. There lay the dead and dying stems of foxglove and forget-me-not, of narcissus and nightshade, and of lilies and larkspur.
Further into the garden he trespassed, following the narrow footsteps that his wife had left the day before, until he found himself before a great wall of roses — red, red roses.
The blooms stood bold and crimson beneath the white, as if it were the full height of summer, rather than the deep freeze of winter.
Beneath them, the soil was red as blood.
In his shock, Blue Beard dropped the golden key — and it landed amongst the roses' tangled roots, where shards of bone glinted pale beneath the winter sun.
As soon as his senses had returned to him, he snatched it up again, hurriedly brushing the mud from its gilded surface with his fingertips. Then Blue Beard fled from the garden, stopping but once to close and lock the gate, before galloping the rest of the distance back to the castle.
There he found his wife Rosalind, having returned early from the market.
"Husband," she said, green eyes scraping him up and down. "Your clothes are wet with snowmelt."
"I took a stroll through the woods," he offered, feeling himself grow pale.
Rosalind watched him still. "Your hands are sticky with mud."
"I fell on the path," he offered, and grew paler still.
But there was no compassion in his wife's chilled gaze. "Your fingertips are stained with gold."
Blue Beard startled, for it was true — wherever his hands had touched the golden key, they had become stained with gold.
He grew so pale that even his beard went white.
With a resigned breath, Rosalind reached for the pruning hook that hung from the chatelaine at her waist.
"You have been in the garden," she surmised, her own fingers wrapping around the fine wooden handle. "And now you must return to it, and join your youngest brother, and the court cofferer, and the pirate captain, and with them serve as bone meal for my roses."
In her hand, the hook's blade shone as bright as Blue Beard's silver key.
Overcome with terror, he flung himself onto the floor at her feet.
"Wait!" he sobbed, his hands pressing together in supplication. "First let me show you the great parlor, before you show me my fate, I beg of you."
Rosalind paused, then; she had already raised the hand with the pruning hook, and aimed it to prune his throat, but now she lowered it slowly, for while she had not broken her vow, Blue Beard was not the only spouse to feel the bite of curiosity.
"I will let you unlock the great parlor," she decided, "but it may not save you from my wrath, nor from my roses."
It was on unsteady feet that Blue Beard climbed the stairs, trailed by his lady wife.
With a trembling hand, he took the little key and opened the door to the great parlor, then stepped back, so that she might look inside.
"Know all my secrets, my dear wife," he pleaded. "So that you may know the full truth of your husband."
Rosalind stepped up to the threshold of the great parlor, and squinted as she peered inside.
At first, she could discern nothing, for the windows were tightly shuttered and little daylight penetrated into the parlor. But as her eyes adjusted to the gloom, she began to perceive shapes: tables and chairs — and the bodies of six women, propped against the walls, their throats slashed through and though, such that they gaped like second mouths, dark and permanently screaming.
"Ah," said Rosalind. "Your former wives."
"Each dead by my hand," he admitted. "The first for being a cruel sorceress, who cursed me with this blue beard, and each following for failing to heed my warnings."
His newest wife contemplated him with cool eyes. "As you have failed to heed mine."
"For which I must beg forgiveness." Again, Blue Beard dropped to his knees, this time clutching at the hem of his wife's kirtle. "I have broken your trust, and this I do not know how to mend. I would give you galas and masquerades, I would give you every stone of my spacious castle, I would give you all the gold and jewels I possess, but these things I have already given you, and I have nothing more to give, save my life, which I now give without hesitation."
Rosalind's fingers once more gripped the pruning hook as she studied the man who had warmed her bed so many winter nights.
"I will take it," she announced, but her hand loosened upon the handle. "Every day of your life, from now until your natural death, to be spent at my side, as my loyal husband."
Tears streamed from Blue Beard's eyes. "Rosalind?"
"In the spring," she continued, "you will help me plant new roses, white ones, and we shall feed them with the bones of your former wives."
At these words, her husband kissed at her skirts, and at her feet, and at her hands, washing them with his tears, until he had washed the last trace of anger from her green eyes.
By the summer, Blue Beard's castle was wreathed with white roses — though he could no longer be called Blue Beard, for his whiskers never regained their color, and remained stubbornly white for the remainder of his days.
So it came to be that Alban and Rosalind shared all their secrets as husband and wife, and lived happily ever after.
Photography Credits:
Door by Kelly Sikkema (@kellysikkema)
Rose background by René Porter (@reneporter)
Bloody hand by Mohamed Nohassi (@coopery)
Beard by Masoud Nikookalam (@msdnikoo)
Castle by Sean Thomas (@seansinspired)
Rings by Nima Izadi (@nimz_co)
Key by Everyday basics (@zanardi)
Rose busy by Klim Musalimov (@klim11)
All photography used with permission via the Unsplash License.
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astroduck · 11 months
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“Don’t kill innocent civilians!”
“Ok, I won’t kill the innocent civilians”
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houseofbrat · 2 months
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Boeing Killed A Guy!
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feluka · 3 months
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oh god shut up. you didn't even know the damn kid.
"The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe, and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality." — James Baldwin
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flockofteeth · 11 months
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god this tickles me
(OP's tiktok here)
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cheeseanonioncrisps · 3 months
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A murder mystery film set in a medieval village. After an outbreak of plague, the villagers make the decision to shut their borders so as to protect the disease from spreading (see the real life case of the village of Eyam). As the disease decimates the population, however, some bodies start showing up that very obviously were not killed by plague.
Since nobody has been in or out since the outbreak began, the killer has to be somebody in the local community.
The village constable (who is essentially just Some Guy, because being a medieval constable was a bit like getting jury duty, if jury duty gave you the power to arrest people) struggles to investigate the crime without exposing himself to the disease, and to maintain order as the plague-stricken villagers begin to turn on each other.
The killer strikes repeatedly, seemingly taking advantage of the empty streets and forced isolation to strike without witnesses. As with any other murder mystery, the audience is given exactly the same information to solve the crime as the detective.
Except, that is, whenever another character is killed, at which point we cut to the present day where said character's remains are being carefully examined by a team of modern archaeologists and historians who are also trying to figure out why so many of the people in this plague-pit died from blunt force trauma.
The archaeologists and historians, btw, are real experts who haven't been allowed to read the script. The filmmakers just give them a model of the victim's remains, along with some artefacts, and they have to treat it like a real case and give their real opinion on how they think this person died.
We then cut back to the past, where the constable is trying to do the same thing. Unlike the archaeologists, he doesn't have the advantage of modern tech and medical knowledge to examine the body, but he does have a more complete crime scene (since certain clues obviously wouldn't survive to be dug up in the modern day) and personal knowledge from having probably known the victim.
The audience then gets a more complete picture than either group, and an insight into both the strengths and limits of modern archaeology, explaining what we can and can't learn from studying a person's remains.
At the end of the film, after the killer is revealed and the main plot is resolved, we then get to see the archaeologists get shown the actual scenes where their 'victims' were killed, so they can see how well their conclusions match up with what 'really' happened.
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mqfx · 4 months
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brightlotusmoon · 11 months
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I found photos of those Pallas Cat kittens born this year and bye I'm deceased
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purpleminte · 2 months
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God sending his silliest soldier:
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mynameismad · 6 months
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They're just normal chests. Innocent chests.
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gibbearish · 6 months
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
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saelrum · 2 months
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"Was I sweet once?"
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willgrahamscock · 4 months
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how many times did Will fantasize about getting pushed against this ladder for him to have a visceral reaction to Hannibal cornering him like this? slut, whore, harlot.
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rocktheholygrail · 2 months
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The Shining (1980) Hannibal (2013-2015)
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iimr3 · 1 year
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*hitting you with a stick* no benoit blanc movies should not interact. they should not lead up to something. you need to detox from the marvel/sherlock bbc poisoning. they should be completely independent movies (maybe w some cameos/little references for fun) and go on for as long as there are stories rian johnson wants to tell in this universe. i do not want an overarching plot i do not want a team up i dont want a benoit-focused prequel i want some good old fashioned episodic murder mysteries that have nothing to do with each other!!!!!!!!!!! also rian johnson has literally said he's not gonna do a prequel and he wants the movies to all stand on their own
addendum 1: by "marvel/sherlock bbc poisoning" i dont mean that those caused this over-serialization, but i think they are partially responsible for why audiences are expecting it. learn to engage w murder mysteries on the genre's own terms
addendum 2: idc what headcanons you have. i actively encourage you to write fanfic about marta and helen solving crime if you wanna. that is literally what fanfiction is for my guy! if you want to know how phillip and benoit met THAT IS WHY FANFIC EXISTS
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louisbxne · 3 months
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HANNIBAL
Rôti | 1.11 (Gag Reel)
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