#i think other people may enjoy the freedom of just doing anything that that gives them (or ‘whatever serves the narrative’ does)

[majorshatterandhare]

I’m thinking about how the Mechs use energy, because they do things and live and therefore they *must* use energy, that’s how physics (and biology) work.

I had the idea that they are always absolutely frigid to the touch because they suck in heat from the environment like an endothermic chemical reaction.

[astrosouldivinity]

Venus Sign Observations: 💞🤎💞

Mutable Venus Edition: ♾️

Pisces Venus: 🌊

🌊 Pisces Venus is open-minded when it comes to various love styles, which can be attributed to their mutable water nature. They possess a remarkable ability to offer unconditional love to virtually everyone they come across.

🌊 In intimate relationships, they enjoy pleasing their partners and don’t mind adapting to their partners love style/needs especially if that would make them happy.

🌊 Venus in Pisces can get obsessed with their partner too high-key. They are flighty but obsessed at the same time which can be confusing for their partner. However, I think their love can be pretty intense in general.

🌊 As loving as Pisces Venus are, I think it’s lowkey a f-boy/girl placement. They have a tendency to fall in love quickly, but they can also move on just as swiftly. However, the process of moving on can sometimes take a considerable amount of time for them as well. Their emotions can be chaotic, leading them to appear flighty in their relationships.

🌊 Pisces Venus doesn’t always want to be floating around in love. They yearn for a secure and comforting space to calm their emotional waves. Essentially, they desire a safe haven where they can find solace and relaxation in their relationships.

🌊 Venus in Pisces will love all of you even the darkness that is kept tucked away. It truly doesn’t scare them. So long as you keep up with their fantasy, don’t take advantage of them, and hurt them too many times to the point where they can’t forgive you, they aren’t going anywhere.

🌊 Venus in Pisces tend to be open-minded when it comes to relationships, they may even be open to polyamory, but they are not opposed to monogamy either. Their preference for one or the other depends on their other placements. For example, as a Pisces Venus myself, I am capable of being loyal when the situation calls for it. This ability to navigate both relationship styles can be attributed to my Taurus Sun/Mars placements, which provide stability and a sense of commitment.

🌊 Having a Gemini Moon further enhances my openness to explore different relationship dynamics. However, I will only participate in them if I am with a partner who is mature about it. I’ve been with people before that were non-monogamous but didn’t like it when I was the same way. Like, babe, I'm simply matching your energy.

Sagittarius Venus: 🏹

🏹 Sagittarius Venus is open-minded when it comes to choosing a partner. In fact, they are more likely to have a partner from a foreign country or a different cultural background. However, they do have a fear of commitment. Which often leads them to explore various relationship dynamics, as they value their freedom and independence.

🏹 In their intimate relationships, Venus in Sagittarius likes to maintain an easy-going nature. They prefer to let things unfold naturally and avoid rushing into anything. Clinginess is not well-received by them, as it gives them a sense of discomfort when their freedom is suffocated or suppressed.

🏹 They may be more inclined to explore relationship dynamics such as ethical non-monogamy or open relationships. Their love for diverse experiences extends to their romantic life, and they may find fulfillment in connecting with many different individuals.

🏹 Venus in Sagittarius’s adventurous nature and desire for new encounters can make them more open to exploring non-traditional relationship structures that allow for multiple connections.

🏹 While Sagittarius Venus have a tendency to value their freedom, they are still capable of committing to a relationship. However, it requires finding the right person. Like someone who shares their open-mindedness and free-spirited nature. They need someone who won’t restrict them.

Gemini Venus: 🦋

🦋 Gemini Venus are adaptable with their approach to love. They will adjust their mindset and actions when it comes to matters of the heart. While they may appear flighty and free-spirited in their romantic endeavors, once they make a decision to commit to a partner, they are decisive and fully dedicated.

🦋 Gemini Venus are witty and possess a great sense of humor. They enjoy playful banter and need someone who can match their energy and make them laugh overall.

🦋 Venus in Gemini values intellectual stimulation in their relationships. They seek a partner who is not only intelligent but also intriguing and captivating. They desire someone who can engage in meaningful conversations and challenge their thoughts and beliefs. The ability to broaden their perspectives is essential for them, as they thrive on continuous learning and growth.

🦋 They appreciate partners who are open to new ideas, experiences, and perspectives. Gemini Venus enjoys exploring different viewpoints and needs a partner who can also embrace diversity and adapt to new situations.

🦋 They are attracted to partners who can strike a balance between nurturing the connection and allowing each other to flourish as individuals.

🦋 Venus in Gemini values their independence and needs a partner who will respect and appreciate this aspect of their personality. It is important for them to be with someone who has their own interests and hobbies, as they believe in the importance of maintaining individuality within a relationship.

Virgo Venus: 🍃

🍃 Virgo Venus tends to approach love and relationships with a practical and analytical mindset. They value stability and reliability in their partnerships, seeking a strong foundation based on trust and mutual support.

🍃 They often have high standards in their intimate relationships, but it stems from their desire to see their partner reach their highest potential. They genuinely want their loved ones to be the best version of themselves.

🍃 In their intimate relationships, Venus in Virgo values self-improvement and personal growth. They always strive to become better versions of themselves and expect the same from their partners.

🍃 Intellectual stimulation and engaging conversations are important to Virgo Venus, as they enjoy exchanging ideas and learning overall.

🍃 Venus in Virgo has a strong desire to fix and save others, driven by their compassionate aura. However, their giving and selfless nature can make them vulnerable to being taken advantage of by others.

🍃 In their intimate relationships, they prioritize finding someone who fits seamlessly into their lifestyle and meets their high standards. However, if they genuinely love someone, they are willing to be more flexible and make compromises.

🍃 Virgo Venus values cleanliness, organization, and orderliness in their surroundings, and this preference often extends to their relationships as well. They appreciate partners who are responsible, hardworking, and self-sufficient.

🍃 Open-minded when it comes to different love styles. They are willing to try anything once, especially if it makes their partner happy. Open relationships could be a possibility for them, especially if they have other mutable placements.

AstroSoulDivinity on TikTok

[an-otterly-adorable-being]

hello! if you don't mind i do have a request for poly Fizzmodeus x reader

can you do headcanons of them with a crush on an idol/popstar succubus who's secretly a single parent (to keep the kid safe bc reader knows the public will be more than invasive and will only reveal the kid when they're older)? like reader's hesitant to rlly get into a relationship with the two bc she's afraid of what they think.

a certain anime's been giving me this brainrot for a while and i don't have the skill to properly write this sjjdkdkdkskdk

I didn't focus too much on the succubus part, but I hope this is good.

Fizzarolli x Asmodeus x F!SingleParent!Reader

Fizz is not a great father, but he does try his best, and thats why I love him <3. Hope y'all enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------

• Your tour ended recently, and you already have a new album being planned.

• For anyone else, it's a dream come true.

• For you, well, it's the break you desperately need to see your kid.

• You've been living a double life for a while.

• On one hand, you're a pop star, hiding her face beneath a variety of masks, with hundreds of thousands of adoring fans.

• On the other, you were a mom just looking out for her kid, trying to keep them out of the exhausting and draining world of fame.

• The mask thing was probably one of your best ideas, as it let you actually go out with your child without being accosted by the paparazzi.

• Plus the whole "secretive succubus" act was great for sales and popularity.

• Most of the money goes to your kid. Yeah, they may end up a tad bit spoiled, but you just want them to be happy.

• Plus, you do have the foresight to not make them an asshole.

• You've dealt with enough rich people in your time, and most of them are the exact kind of people you're trying to keep away from your child.

• Although...there are two that are pretty nice.

• You knew Fizzarolli first, both of you hitting Lust's entertainment circuit at the same time.

• You even had a small thing together for a little bit, although it never really grew. It was more platonic than romantic anyways.

• That's not to say that you hadn't considered going further, or that you didn't have some feelings for him, you just chose not to act on it.

• Asmodeus, on the other hand, found you after you had gotten a decent sized following.

• Unlike with Fizz, nothing really happened between you, but you did become good friends.

• He was also kind of hot too.

• When you had gotten back to your home, you were planning on take your kid out to do...something.

• You weren't sure, but it didn't matter, because someone had sent you a message.

• It was from Ozzie, inviting you over for dinner

• Problem is, you had just gotten back, and you really wanted to be with your kid.

• So, you asked if he could make sure that dinner stayed pg-13, which he questioned, but agreed to.

• You had been wanting to tell Asmodeus about you being a parent for a while, you needed to figure out dinner, and you didn't want to leave your child again, so why not kill 3 birds with one stone?

• When you got there, you got a pleasant suprise in the form of Fizzarolli.

• Fizz and Ozzie also had a suprise, the fact you had a kid.

• (I've been trying to leave the kid's age ambiguous, so that y'all can have a bit of freedom with it. If the kid's old enough, they introduce themselves, and if not you do it. Anyways, back to the headcanons.)

• It takes a good couple of minutes to explain everything, but they understand and respect your decision to keep your child out of the limelight.

• The dinner was nice, fancy too. Then again, you weren't expecting anything else.

• There was something odd though, you felt like Fizz and Ozzie were flirting with you.

• Turns out, they were.

• Apparently, both Ozzie and Fizz, who were together already, wanted to invite you into a little polycule relationship.

• And to be honest, you didn't hesitate to say yes.

• As mentioned before, you did have feelings for Fizz, and you did think Asmodeus was hot.

• Plus, you wouldn't mind having some help raising a child.

• Turns out that Ozzie is a pretty good parent.

• Fizz not so much, but he's trying.

• And dear Satan is it amazing to have people doting on you for once.

• Fans are one thing, romantic partners are so, so much better.

• And hey, at least your kid will grow up around some genuinely good people.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Happily Unrequited

tags: gn!reader

a/n: first writing-related post for 2024 and this idea hasn't left me alone for the past couple of days. so i figured why not make a hc post for it

"it's okay i wasn't shooting my shot or anything. i already know you don't feel the same way, i definitely am not saying anything because i thought i was seeing signs you liked me back or anything like that. i just wanted you to know. just act the same as you usually do."

your feelings aren't requited but you're surprisingly okay with that. the real question is whether or not they are as okay with as you are.

avoids you

MEGUMI tries to treat you as normal but it starts getting into his head all the signs he's missed. it becomes blatantly obvious now that you've pointed it out. you're not flirting with him or making any moves on him, no. but now megumi hears the affectionate lilt in your tone. he sees the adoration in your eyes. it's all directed at him and he doesn't really know how to process that and still act the same. he asks you once why you wanted to tell him how you felt when he didn't feel the same way. you simply tell him "i just wanted you to know you're loved." when megumi draws back, you decide to give him space for a while to process everything. surprisingly irritated by how easily you give it to him but megumi reminds himself he placed the distance between you both first.

NOBARA you're acting normal and it's unfair. she doesn't understand how you're able to drop such a big thing on her and then continue on your merry way like it's nothing. you have to be testing her. in her mind, it becomes a competition of sorts to act more nonchalant about your confession. apparently, the best way for her to do that is by avoiding you. her friends tell her she's losing in a battle that you don't even know you're fighting. nobara doesn't want to admit herself that she is more bothered by this sudden revelation than she says she is. is doubly upset if you don't try and reach out when she avoids you and that causes her to storm over to you one day on campus about it. "i just thought you needed space so i didn't want to bother you." why is she the one loosing the idgaf war?

normal

YUUJI takes everything in stride. you're still one of yuuji's closest friends and that's what truly matters here. his love for you may be different than your love for him, but at the end of the day you both want to be in each other's life still. that's what truly counts here. very little, if anything, changes in your dynamic with yuuji. you still sleepover at each other's place, you still window shop at the mall and enable each other's dumb impulse purchases and you still text each other in class about the newest chapter of a manga you're both reading. the continued normalcy makes you feel warm and satisfied. does feel overly conscious about talking about people he is into though now that he knows how you feel for him. it's somewhat dampened by how you talk about your class and celebrity crushes around him like normal. he guesses you got over him relatively quickly then.

KENTO cool as a cucumber, he accepts your feelings in stride just as you. asks if you need space for a while but you grin and say you're fine. you confessed for the freedom and closure having made peace with everything ages ago before you said anything. "just know your loved, ken," you told him life goes on from there and you continue on your daily habits. unconsciously enjoys all the little things. he wonders occasionally how much of the minute details you remember about him are due to your affections. how you remember the exact pastries he likes. how if they stop selling at his favorite bakeries, you somehow find them somewhere else. how you always supply him with a warm cup of coffee from his cafe when he's feeling down. how on his most tired of days you supply his eyes with a nice compress from a soaked towelette. kento wonders if it is wrong for him to think it is nice to be taken care of like this even if he doesn't return your feelings.

not as normal as they expected themselves to be

YUUTA all yuuta wants is for you to be comfortable. maybe you were lying when you said you were fine. maybe you were just trying to be conscious of his feelings when you said he could act as he normally does with you. all these thoughts swirl in his head and he feels guilty when his guilt was the last thing you wanted. you're the one who was rejected, why are you the one bending over backwards for his sake? would probably try avoiding you if you didn't flick his forehead and tell him he should stop overthinking everything. also, you're pretty sure that pretty maki girl likes him. you encourage him to shoot his shot while she's still single.

SATORU normal on the outside, contemplative on the inside. because of this, satoru interacts the most with the fact you're in love with him. he asks the why, when, where as to why you fell in love with him, when you realized it, where did this all start. he doesn't ask to be cruel, satoru just genuinely wants to know. is relieved at the end of the day his lack of feeling the same way changes your friendship. he enjoys having you in his life as a friend. it catches him off guard one day when spur of the moment jealousy takes root in him when he sees you laughing your head off with someone he doesn't know. because you aren't just laughing. you're clutching your stomach, hunched over wheezing at whatever that goon just said. his eyes says you and rando are just friends. the rest of him says otherwise. "i'm the one you're in love with, right?" slips out of his mouth before he can help himself.

[guardian5tiger3]

Career/money Pick a Picture Tarot Reading

1. 2. 3.

Group 1

I feel that for you guys there's some connection to your heart here, some of you need to look in your heart. If you are not fully sure what you want to do exactly, this is definitely what you can do to help find the answers to that. Healing something within your heart may be needed if you do not know right now by looking within. So once your heart is healed you will feel there what you desire most. I'm picking up on the feeling of freedom. For some of you this has to do with travel. Maybe you want to read the second pile as well. I'm getting something about your families, and for someone something about a dog (s). Maybe for some of you, you have worries but you need to be honest with yourself and find that your priorities in your heart may be towards what you truly want to go do, and that it will be ok if you go forward with that. You guys will be happy. I want to tell you for those that may be worried about leaving anyone behind or being homesick, you will enjoy your present moment wherever you may find yourself, and that distance can grow fondness. I understand though, feeling you only have so much time on the topic of mortality. I have faith you all will figure it out, cause all I get now is the greatest feeling once your heart shows you clearly and you feel what it is you should go for, and it is so much love and freedom in it. Beautiful. Take your time though, this seems like a vague prediction in a sense, as destiny will be what it will be. Peace

Group 2.

You as a group seem that you really want advice and are really just wanting to take in anything I can give you all right now...you guys may be kind of guarded right now , mainly getting energetically. You guys have a big purpose, each one of you. Yes an airplane may *actually be significant. Some of you know then of course, one of you, it's an actually. And you don't even know it yet. I saw a little clock. So , with that I'm getting time of course. And right now it may be a matter of relying on that. I'm getting a lot about a spiritual like journey, but we don't have to put it that way, a journey of self discovery , self transformation. It's heavy, but I don't mean that in a negative sense. I mean, it's a deep thing you all are experiencing in what this is that we call life, your lives. A concept that seems to come into play with you guys and your journeys in life and what you will end up doing or for a few already doing, maybe just starting. If so you're young in this. The concept is about duality;within yourselves. Balancing your yin and yangs. You seem naturally very balanced people, in your spirits. I feel this is a reminder for some of you, to make sure you're not giving too much to the "good", "light" side, it's perfect when there is complete balance of the two opposites and embracing the dark side is not negative, it's necessary for both to prosper, and it is a positive thing. Both dark and light are naturally positive , like, good , but both can have bad qualities. When good is too much that is bad, kind of plain, can be too bright if you understand what I'm saying, hopefully. I'm getting something like spirit animals are significant, and wisdom. For a majority of you when it comes to career things, your soulmate or forever person is somehow involved/ going to be involved. I would just stay open to that so that things may go smoother if so. I'm not supposed to specify any further on that for whatever reason.

For right now, you're being guided, and do what you can and accept what you cannot do and know for now. It will come to you. You're on a specific path, trust that. And trust yourself. Every move you decide to make is for a reason, and I see that you will not fall. For any possible financial struggle , it's all for a reason, but maybe so to sympathize with other people in the world, for one. It may be so for a few of you to learn to ask for help and or to think further outside the box, the box being your mind and as far as it is expanded thus far. But you'll be okay. Peace and love.

Group 3.

You all may work with other people. I'm really picking up on desert vibes somehow for some reason,... Initially I picked up on a camel, actually. Maybe some of you have something to do with Egypt specifically too... Maybe you'll travel one day, maybe some of you live there, Im not sure but you'll know cause that's kinda specific... I'm also getting an oven , some of you have considered baking? Someone's family is involved already in some culinary business..

*side note, some of you aren't even meant to work. If you feel that, boom. There's your message. Go backpacking or just trust the universe on a level to work it out. Hell you can get an RV or something and go to a national forest and they'll let you stay there free if you help out working there. Nature rules! You'll figure it out.

You guys have some dope ancestry, just saying, I guess.. maybe you don't know and would be surprised about far back who was what from where I don't know. Anyway, If you have family who would hire you or help you get hired, that's nice and I'm supposed to tell you all that you should take any offer for that and basically give whatever it may be a try, but mainly you should be honest with yourself, it's OK if it isn't for you, it's OK if you love it or it just works and you stick to that. You know, I would say for instance some famous people have kids and they may want to hand down a legacy or business to their children, but what a shame if the child doesn't want that and yet some young person unrelated would love that to happen to them, if that makes sense. We're all children and family on this earth and there's no need for strict boundaries when it comes to bloodlines like that . Be true to yourself. Well if it's just you getting help to be hired, it's alright if you end up quitting or whatever even if for some of you feel like you'll be resented ,screw it don't live your life for anyone but yourself. Unless you have kids I guess... But still!.

Overall message for this group, if nothing else, let yourself be free.

[littlemonday]

The Emperor, The Ending, and that IGN Article

Note: This analysis was originally written and posted on the Larian forums for Baldur's Gate 3. You can find the original forum post here. This analysis includes a number of outside links to other posts I made on the Larian forums as well as the IGN article I'm referencing through out. If you choose to read the original forum post, I have a number of responses through out the thread. You'll recognize which responses are mine because I use the same name on the forums as I do here - LittleMonday.

This analysis first looks at the ending choices in the game, then transitions into a character analysis of The Emperor. Approximately 3,800 words. Lots of spoilers.

Let me first start out by saying that I love this game. It would be entirely unfair to say that this game is anything less than a triumph. The level of skill that goes into a collaborative process such as the making of a video game with a rich story, compelling characters, complex morality, beautiful animation, and an immersive environment is something that should not be hand-waved away. I’ve enjoyed hundreds of hours playing this game. Having said all of that, here’s (yet another) post of “we need to talk about the ending.”

If you’re unfamiliar with the recent-ish IGN interview with game director Swen Vincke and lead writers Adam Smith and Chrystal Ding, you can find it here. I’ll be focusing on their section of the interview concerning The Emperor and the end game choices.

LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD.

Let’s talk about the critical decision of siding with Orpheus or The Emperor.

I know a lot of people have pointed out that The Emperor joining the Netherbrain in the end if you side with Orpheus makes no sense, and I think it both does and doesn’t. He has always wanted freedom, and it’s almost certain that the moment he leaves the astral prism without Orpheus’ protection, he’ll be enthralled whether he’s willing or not. The explanation given in the article by Swen and Adam, as well as The Emperor in game, as “survival” feels like a 180 when his ultimate goal has been freedom. Why they chose not to focus on the fact that it’s game over for him as far as his autonomy under this circumstance is puzzling. Which brings me to my next point.

One of my biggest problems with the ending is how contrived the choices are. Along with The Emperor’s 180 mentioned above, Swen and Adam (Chrystal doesn’t say much) seem to have rigidly held on to this plot contrivance of choosing to become a monster, and in doing so, forces a binary ending whether it works within the narrative and gameplay or not.

Swen - “One of the basic questions of the game was whether you would become a monster if it would save the world. So that’s where you get that in that moment. And then the interesting bit was, well, if you’re not going to do it, are you going to ask someone else to do it, or [are] you just going to say, ‘F*ck everybody?’ That’s essentially what that moment was.”

Adam - “There was no way to save the city, save the world without giving up your own identity.”

The thing about a binary choice is that it only works if there truly are no other options available, however, the player has a lot more power and leverage in this situation than the game is willing to let them have. The Emperor wants his freedom and will be enthralled voluntarily or otherwise if he leaves the astral prism and cedes power to Orpheus. It’s also worth mentioning that when you help him defeat the Honour Guard, there’s an option to ask him about assimilating Orpheus, to which he answers that it may not work. So, assimilating is a big risk, and should it fail, he’s back to being a thrall.

Then there’s Orpheus. He cannot leave the astral prism without the players freeing him with the Orphic Hammer and cannot take on the Netherbrain unless he or someone else turns into an illithid. The player has leverage against The Emperor to persuade and/or intimidate him to join with Orpheus, and they also have leverage against Orpheus for the same thing. The whole speech Orpheus gives about how the player should have let his Honour Guard kill them and they would have taken on the Elder Brain before it evolved and became a Netherbrain is either a lie or delusion. You don’t even need to metagame to know this, yet the player has zero dialogue available to call Orpheus on this claim. He and his Honour Guard have been imprisoned in the astral prism for millennia with no means of escape, and no way of impacting the outside world. They weren’t going to stop anything, and yet, through the dialogue choices, the game treats this as though it were a given and that The Emperor held all the cards and kept this from you. He didn’t. He truly is the reason you’re alive to face the Netherbrain. Given the gravity of being on the cusp of The Grand Design, calling Orpheus on the impotence of him and his Honour Guard, and also potentially being under threat of having his brain consumed if he does not cooperate, there is plenty to leverage against Orpheus to get him to at least temporarily ally with the player and The Emperor. If you’ve struck a deal with Voss, you have even more leverage.

Beyond the other options that I believe should be available, I don’t think becoming a monster or “f*ck everybody” comes through in the ending at all. It seems like they expect players to side with Orpheus when there are plenty of role play reasons to side with The Emperor, and then no one has to become a monster, and you still save the city. The Githyanki aren’t even doomed under this ending just like they’re not doomed if Orpheus transforms and dies in the end so he doesn’t live as a mind flayer. If anything, the theme of freedom, autonomy, and alliances, I thought, came through more strongly, both with defeating the Netherbrain and with the companion quests. Under this theme, an option to persuade/intimidate Orpheus and The Emperor to work together actually makes more sense because they have to put aside their hatred for one another to accomplish the same goal of defeating the Netherbrain and obtaining their freedom. The intention seems to have been for the player to make a significant personal sacrifice to save the world, but I just don’t think that it was executed particularly well.

I think this is a good time to say that authorial intent should never be the end of one’s analysis of a text. If an author/director/writer/artist/creator tells you what their intention was, it doesn’t mean the text supports that. We don’t always execute something we create the way we intended to.

And that brings me to the next thing I want to discuss.

Let’s talk about The Emperor as a character.

I want to start out by saying that The Emperor is my favorite character. I enjoy a compelling and nuanced monster that subverts our expectations, and I think The Emperor provides a lot of that while also not living up to his full potential. I’ve already written a post on this forum regarding why I think we need to have a fully fleshed-out romance for The Emperor that you can read here. I’ll be focusing on his writing for this. I wrote at length about what I enjoy about the character in another thread on this forum, that you can find here, but I’ll include a quote:

“What’s unique about The Emperor is how he subverts our expectations. Yes, he’s manipulative, but he never mind controls you. He’s this supposedly asexual creature, yet he’s sexually interested in the player character and is heavily coded as a romantic male lead. He’s also supposed to be this heartless and soulless creature, but expresses care for the player character, and if you romance him, he’s sweet, vulnerable, and sincere. He’s supposed to be part of this hive mind, yet he wants his freedom and actively encourages the player character to form alliances to defeat the Netherbrain. He needs to feed off the brains of others, but avoids the innocent. He may want the player character to change into an illithid, but he leaves that choice entirely to you. He’s alien, yet very human and desires allies and companionship.”

I was under the impression from this interview that Swen largely sees The Emperor as a plot device, while the writers saw him as a character, even if he has a specific purpose in the narrative. There’s even a very awkward part of the interview in which Adam refers to The Emperor as “he,” quickly corrects himself to refer to him as “they,” only for Swen to insist that The Emperor is an “it,” even saying that “we often had this fight” when referring to his pronouns. I personally think that’s a bit revealing, though you may disagree.

For additional context, Swen, Adam, and Chrystal all agree that The Emperor is manipulative and self-serving, but that he never lies to you. Swen will later reiterate this very point when talking about Raphael:

Swen - “Raphael… a lot of what he says you can’t trust, but he is honest. And at one point, if you push him on it, he says, ‘All you are to The Emperor is a pack animal that’s carrying him to where he needs to be.’”

There’s another awkward exchange in which Adam speaks to The Emperor being terrified of going back to the Elder Brain. Swen then remarks:

Swen - “he’s not really terrified he doesn’t have that level of emotion.”

Adam - “Well, yeah, but I think that there’s a level of horror in being… Going back to what he escaped from.”

Now with all of that context laid out, I think his manipulative nature is pretty uncontroversial in the game’s text. He is self-serving - he doesn’t really hide that from you - he speaks in partial truths, and you are a means to an end. At least at first. And, this is where I think he becomes a more complex character whether Swen realizes it or not.

As a side note on how he manipulates the player: there’s this strange bit of dialogue with The Emperor in which you can call him on the fact that he’s hidden information from you throughout your entire alliance, and he responds by acknowledging that, saying that he purposefully lead you to believe that the githyanki Honour Guard were evil beings. I don’t recall this at all. He tells you that they would have killed you because to them you are already illithid, which is all true. It’s a strange bit of dialogue in the end that doesn’t follow what’s been established in the game.

That aside, I’ve heard many people hand-wave away all of his behavior as insincere and solely for the purpose of manipulating the player, however, I think that’s, at best, a shallow reading of the text. He may be manipulating the player character, but that’s hardly the only thing going on, where a character like Raphael is truly only manipulating the player character. In the interview, Swen, Chrystal, and Adam all say that he doesn’t lie, however, I think a more precise way of saying that based on what we see in the game, is that he doesn’t fabricate lies. He doesn’t make up a lie out of whole cloth, but rather omits information that he doesn’t think is relevant, or that doesn’t serve his purpose. Perhaps the most infamous example of this is his relationship with Belynne. As long as you remain on good terms with The Emperor, he frames their relationship as two allies working towards a common goal in The Knights of The Shield. However, if you become hostile, provoke, and dehumanize him, he reveals that Belynne was his unwilling thrall.

I’m hardly the first to point out that this cutscene is a bit suspicious. The timing of such a reveal and The Emperor framing it as “why hide” or “will this make you feel better” is an obvious threat to someone who seems likely to betray you the moment they can. The cutscene also has The Emperor casually revealing his identity to someone other than Belynne, much to this unnamed person’s horror. That is already out of line with how he conducts himself. After her death, we can have this interesting conversation with The Emperor in which he further discusses his relationship with her. With hindsight, it’s obvious that when he says their relationship “was not love” it was “deeper,” and that it was “unique,” he is referring to when she was his thrall. But, he also reveals in some dialogue options that she understood his needs, his desire for freedom, and that she didn’t trust a mind flayer at first, suggesting that she wasn’t initially his thrall. He even describes himself as being “haunted” by memories of her. We don’t know exactly what memories are haunting him, but we do know that the dialogue option with the thrall cutscene, he says to the pc “aren’t you glad I finessed my methods?” Even when he calls you his puppet, at no point in the game will he enthrall you or your party members.

It’s worth mentioning that it is well within DnD lore that mind flayers grow attached to their thralls and mourn their passing, but we later find documents in the game, one from a physician, that when The Emperor came to visit Belynne as her condition progressed, that it eased her “body and mind.” We also find a document suggesting that he was impersonating her through magic as one eye witness account described a floating blue figure, but that it turned out to just be Belynne smiling. I bring all this up because what I believe we’re seeing here is an incomplete portrait of their relationship. I think it suggests that they were once genuine allies before he enthralled her, and that he’s mourning more than just her passing, but also the deterioration of their relationship. I think this also helps to explain why he never enthralls the pc, even if it would mean preventing them from taking some very dangerous paths that jeopardize their mission. The Emperor is an unreliable narrator who speaks in partial truths, so I don’t believe that either version of their relationship you get from him is the whole truth, but is not entirely false either. This game very often takes a more-than-meets-the-eye approach to characters and storylines, so this is well within what we have come to expect from this game. She may have been a means to an end on some level, but she was hardly only a means to an end.

As far as that strange comment from Swen that The Emperor “does not have that level of emotion,” we actually feel his fear regarding the Elder Brain as it’s breaking free from the crown’s control. If the pc romances him, we literally feel that he cares for the pc, and in some interactions of this scene he’ll tell the pc that he enjoys their mind, and refers to their relationship as a bond of love. Before the final battle, one of the NPCs invokes Balduran’s name right before battle, and if you’ve allied with The Emperor, you feel his amusement that they have no idea who he once was. There’s even that scene with the Guardian at the beginning of Act 2 in which a successful insight check reveals that he is hiding the depth of his pain. I know there’s that note that The Emperor left for Ansur about no longer feeling his feelings, but he clearly does feel. He even describes the grief he feels over Belynne as “not entirely unwelcome.” The Emperor is an arrogant and prideful character, and he doesn’t seem to be entirely self aware as to his own humanity because he sees himself, as a mind flayer, to be superior.

For most endings, The Emperor will just depart after defeating the Netherbrain, much like the other companions who also go their separate ways. So, I don’t think this is necessarily an indication that the pc was merely a means to an end. However, (big spoilers here) there are two endings in which he does reveal his feelings for the pc. In a solo ending in which the pc doesn’t transform, he’ll tell them “you have become… important to me. And should our paths cross again, I will be glad to see you.” There’s also an ending where, if the pc transforms into an illithid, he will ask to stay together to rebuild the Knights of the Shield. There’s an option to tell him to think bigger, at which point he’ll say to them “Have I ever told you how much I enjoy you? Lead the way…”

I also want to note that right before the above mentioned exchange with The Emperor, the Narrator has a line that in being a mind flayer, all your companions become tools or food, but then contrasts that with:

“Perhaps you are unique among illithid-kind. Perhaps you will retain enough of who you are to resist your nature. A rogue mind flayer. Like The Emperor.”

This is a pretty straightforward acknowledgement that The Emperor does have the capacity for relationships beyond mere tools for his use.

All this is to say that there seems to be some genuine relationship building with The Emperor, which makes it, in some ways, more strange that he’s so quick to abandon the player and join the Netherbrain should you choose to free Orpheus. Many players have noted that trust is one way with The Emperor, and if that’s the angle Swen and the writers were going with him, then why have The Emperor demonstrate trust in the pc’s leadership? Yes, there are moments in the game in which he admonishes the pc, disagrees with them, attempts to persuade them away from a decision, hell even probes their mind if they lie to him about the meeting with Raphael, but he’s actually very reasonable when it comes to the pc’s autonomy and decision making. If you save the Grove, he’ll even compliment you on your leadership. He’s so hands off in so many ways, but when he does interject about certain quests like the Crèche, Ansur, or The House of Hope, those are extraordinarily dangerous quests that risk everything. They risk you, him, and anyone left behind to be subjected to the Grand Design, but he never stops you. He actually does demonstrate a lot of trust in the pc even if they’re not the most reliable at times.

I said earlier that I think the intended ending was to have the player join with Orpheus, then the pc, or one of the companions turns into an illithid. This requires a sacrifice and sets up this dramatic encounter with The Emperor in which he rides in on a red dragon and summons your dream guardians to fight you. This could have been a powerful moment, however, I think it largely falls flat when you have this forced binary decision with a character, who may be unlikable, but is actually pretty reasonable throughout. If you’ve romanced The Emperor, or are at least on friendly terms, this binary ignores the prior relationship development of the pc being more than a means to an end by not at least allowing for some kind of exchange and option for striking an alliance.

But, let’s just say you have romanced The Emperor, but the twist is that you are merely a means to an end. Well, that’s not clearly laid out either. There’s no moment to confront him, and the only acknowledgment of an intimate relationship comes when he castigates the pc and reminds them that they didn’t “reject” him, but “enjoyed” him. (If anything, that implies you used him). He just leaves and that's that. Along with everything I laid out earlier, it’s not so much a twist, as it’s incomplete writing. This isn’t even the only example of incomplete writing. Remember how your companions were able to witness your night with The Emperor but no one said anything the next morning? The so-called fix was to have The Emperor wipe their memories without any regard for the implications. The pc doesn’t have a dialogue option regarding such an action, and the only vague textual clue that this is something he does is that he may have done some memory manipulation with Belynne’s doctor. However, the doctor can still recall a lot of details of The Emperor’s visits, she just has trouble recalling his appearance. He either doesn’t or can’t completely erase her memory of his visits, even though she finds him suspicious and erasing her memory entirely might be safer for him to do. Other than that, it’s just the one line he speaks that was thrown into the game a couple of patches in. Even then the companions still don’t react to the “enjoyed me” line, or the “fornicated with a mind flayer” line if you side with Orpheus. We love hearing our companions react, so why not have that in there? It would certainly be more entertaining at the very least.

Whether these inconsistencies come down to creative differences between Swen and the two lead writers is speculation. No one was in the writing room with any of them, but this interview was, nonetheless, enlightening in some respects. I do hope that at some point The Emperor can be a fully realized character, and one that’s in line with the depth he is given in the game. And I would hope that would go along with additional ending choices that better reflect the narrative that comes before that crucial decision. A binary choice like the one we currently have doesn’t work for many playthroughs, even if it may work for some. I would like to see that someday reflected in our final choices.

Lastly, while I’ve laid out a fair amount of criticism in this post, my intention was not to cynically nitpick every inconsistency. I even deleted some things I originally planned on including here, because I realized that not all plot contrivances actually weaken the story. I want to repeat that I still love this game, and when I say it’s a triumph, I do sincerely mean that. I know all too often fans may request changes to the game or characters as a sort of wish fulfillment, but those changes would ultimately end up undermining the narrative or themes. I’ve tried my best to avoid that here, and I hope I have.

[maxzinn]

off topic but also on topic its so clear that the genshin/star rail (saying both cause theres a large overlap) have no capability of thinking.

there are so many fics where *reader* somehow becomes a (sex)slave or is forced to do horrible shit and just general dead dove behavior. the fact that the author used INGAME LORE, CANON BACKSTORY FOR THE CHARACTER proves how braindead so many people are.

like people try to free slaves/captors in media isnt a new thing. theres a lot of art of that angelhusk ship where one gambles for the others freedom (never watched it but its an example)

like having slaves/captors in media isnt new and never has been but the only reason people truely care is because its a hoyoverse game and cant handle anything darker or complex then a PG rating

(sorry anon, I got carried away with this one tee-hee)

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS!!! y'know I was sooo confused when people started screaming for blood when the authors are using his IN-GAME LORE in their fics and then claims that the people who enjoyed writing those have "white-knight syndrome" like cmon sjsadhjg you're giving me a fucking stroke.

I'll say it again, wanting to give slave aventurine or someone a better life DOESN'T mean they have "white-knight syndrome" when they have good intentions!!! We were all were crying for him and his tragic past, we all wanted to comfort him, and we at some point also wished for his salvation and the betterment of his life. These people need to stop throwing these "white-knight syndrome" accusations cuz it's definitely not about that. And like you said, it was his IN-GAME LORE. I already expected some authors to write about reader saving him from his slavery and there's nothing wrong with that! Cuz please, don't tell me you won't help the guy out of his abusive owner, let's be fr here.

Like you also said, many have been writing yandere/heavy dark themes about reader being literally SA'd and R'd by said character (do not tell me you guys haven't read all those fics where Aven was our debt collector and in paying our debt, he noncon or manipulated us into sleeping with him 💀) and now they wanna talk about morals?

And please, don't even try bringing up Romania or irl people in here. IT'S A FICTIONAL RACE IN A FICTIONAL STORY. it may be "inspired" like they said, but it's not directly addressing Romania!!

I get their point alright, I truly do. Like I said in my other post, I do not condone the sex slave! aus about aventurine and the master/slave bdsm cuz his story truly hurt me and I'm uncomfortable sexualizing his slavery when I know about his story and what happened to him as a slave. But I won't go as far as to actually send death threats to those authors and act like a hypocrite💀 people can write what they want to write and I don't have to read those writings if I don't wanna.

Just to say, I'm a yandere/dark-content enjoyer as well, it's just that I draw the line when it comes to aventurine cuz I just wanna cuddle and dote on that man and give him all the love and affection in the world. but like I said, am no hypocrite as well. (sorry if I can't explain it very well but I hope you get the gist of it)

It's just funny and baffling how people are like "eww this person wrote a fic about reader buying slave aventurine so they can be a good owner to him".... this is leaving me speechless how they turned an act with good intentions into something malicious... that poor author doesn't even have bad intentions when writing that fic.

When you apply their logic, it's like saying "this person adopted an abused child so that they can be a good parent to that child, disgusting" do they even realize how stupid they sound??? 😭

[pushister]

Ok but. This. This line right here.

[Hobie Brown: I ain't even here.]

ATSV spoilers!

This is a long and cringe post and probably a very me-specific experience, but i need to vent. This is the line that almost single-handedly made me hyperfixate on both the Spiderverse movies and Hobie specifically (and later keep it as a huge special interest).

When i was watching ATSV for the first time, I already knew who was going to be my favorite, as Spiderpunk was both a very unique character and he seemed very similar to myself (with the sole exception that i am an idiot ofc). But at that moment in the movie, I actually had to stop and process because of how called out i felt. I am, and always have been, a pretty weird mix of autistic, rebelous, and not-giving-a-fuck, so naturally, as a child, when it came to school, kids' clubs, events, or really anything that i was forced to attend and didn't particularly enjoy (which was a lot of things), i appeared as a shadow, ignored basically any direction from adults that i was given and didn't communicate with anyone. Just a little kid sitting away in the corner, playing by themselves and not listening when told to participate in whatever the rest were doing. Some could say i was a "problematic child", which is probably true, and my teachers and older relatives thought so too. Sometimes people told me that i had to stop acting "like [i'm] special" and needed to be treated differently, but most times:

[Miguel O'Hara: I'm just gonna try to ignore you. I just can't. I can't even.]

This motherfucker just casually showed what i felt and how i acted for my entire life. In four seconds.

I don't think you can get any closer to a character when he shows up in the middle of the movie for like five minutes, immediately breaks all negative expectations that the other characters might've set up for him, makes you fall in love with him by being every single thing that you always wanted to be and everything that represents your freedom, and then casually brushes off some of the shitty feelings you've had about yourself for years, about being "problematic" and not fitting in, about being weird and lonely, by saying the thing that was sitting on the tip of your tongue that entire time while staying inconceivably cool.

...Ik how small all of this may seem, but. What can you do to me. I ain't even here.

[dotster001]

Omg, I'm in love with Twisted Earth, can you please do Scarabia and Pomefiore next?

Hello may i also request a Twisted earth story but with the savanaclaw and scarabia dorm please 🥺requested by @magicalsweetsyouth

Twisted Earth Part Four

Summary:Scarabia and Epel x gn!reader You are the game, they are real. Vil and Rook HC's here. Savannaclaw HC's here.

A/N:Omg some of y'all are starting to get ahead of me with your requests. I have some places I'll take this once I finish off everybody's initial HC's. I'm so happy you guys are enjoying these 🥺

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Five Part Six

He was drawn in by the advertising. The colors, the designs, the music, the voices? Oh he was so excited to start playing! When he chose his initial character …it actually wasn't you. And he feels so bad about it now 🥺  You're his squishy baby, please forgive him, he'll make up for lost time.

Probably first was drawn in to you because of how drastically different your life is from his. Then he fell for you as he got more and more invested in your character's story.

As I said…you're his squishy baby. If you were real…Oh he gets so excited thinking about all the parties he'd throw for you, all the gifts he'd buy for you, all the CUDDLES HE'D GIVE YOU! (He has made Jamil bang his head against a wall multiple times when talking about you) he dreams of the two of you dancing together. That's what he'd do for a first date with you. He's already decided.

He has all your base cards, but none of your event cards. But he's not deterred! He WILL get one of your event cards one day, he's sure of it.

Kalim's parents don't need parental blocks on Kalim. They have Jamil. Jamil saw Kalim playing the game and downloaded it to make sure it was appropriate, and that it wasn't giving him any weird ideas. 

It's now his guilty pleasure. He plays it right before bed since he never has any other time for it. He always sighs heavily like it's a chore to play right before he opens it, but he definitely enjoys it. 

You….he has a complicated relationship with you. In game he adores you. He thinks you're perfect, and you'd be perfect together. Irl, he knows you two might not get along as well, with you being, well, you, and him making…questionable… decisions sometimes. You'd get on like oil and water….but if he had the chance, he'd be willing to try.

He has every. Single. One. Of. Your. Cards. Everyone of them is at their max levels. Every one of them has been groovified. He is almost psychotic about it. 

Your crush is the only card he has that he doesn't take care of. Again, to a psychotic degree. Your cards are the only ones he's maxed out, but he generally takes care of most of his cards. Not your in game crush. Despite his realistic take on how you two would be irl, he for some reason can't look at them without his brows furrowing and his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip.

He was playing it before the devs reached out to Vil for a review. It was his freedom away from his lessons where, playing as a peer named Yuu, he could interact with people who didn't care about his looks or behaviors. He could be as "masculine" as he wanted. (In quotation marks because Epel has some iffy views on what being a man means. I love him anyway 🥺)

Despite hating other people calling him cute…he thinks you are very cute. He is also certain you wouldn't call him cute, but "handsome" and "man of your dreams". He also just genuinely finds you to be a soothing presence. While some of your friends and coworkers cause chaos and various antics that move the plot along…you're just kind of there. A constant light. (You're the Silver, at least in his mind 😂)

He dreams of meeting you irl. He'd have you on his arm, and even Vil would be in awe of him. No one could call him cute with the cutest person ever on his arm. In exchange, he'd treat you like the deity you are. He'd get you anything you wanted and pamper you constantly.

He has three of your cards; a bunny cafe SSR, your casual R card, and your SR work outfit. He is so proud of these cards. Brags to anyone he finds who plays the game. Once Vil started playing, it was all he would talk about whenever he got mad at him.

[pedroslass]

never have i ever..

authors note: i have figured out the ways of how to work this app. yay! enjoy my loves.

pedro pascal x female reader

warnings: bad language, makin people uncomfy.

summary: during an interview, the interviewer begins to ask some questions which make you uncomfortable. only for your boyfriend to step up for you.

-

“hello everyone i am y/n l/n” looking over at your boyfriend you waited for his introduction, however he just continued looking at you. you raised your eyebrows with a small laugh. “oh! hey i’m josé pedro balmaceda pascal” looking back at the camera you continued “and today we are gonna be taking part in the ‘never have i ever’ interview with W magazine!”

“i’m kinda scared, i have not come prepared” pedro says to the crew, leaning back in his chair laughing, you looked over to him playing with the signs “they can’t be too bad surly..” you said looking towards the interviewer biting the corner of your lip.

“right! first question, never have i ever stolen something from set?” you and pedro giggled looking at one another, knowing each others answers. the both of you revealed ‘i have’ “i remember mine was a necklace i worse in one of my scenes and it was custom made so i obviously couldn’t get it from anywhere else so, i took it” you explained with a proud smile. pedro smiled “that necklace is pretty to be honest, understandable”

“next question, never have i ever sexted?” the question kinda took you back. you thought it was a little inappropriate to ask a publicly known couple that. you looked over at your boyfriend, you could tell he feels the same way you do. just to avoid all the comments that may end up being made toward the both you, you said ‘i have never’ pedro did the same, even tho you were fully aware you have definitely.

the room carried a very awkward silence.

“okay okay, never have i ever done anything sexual in public?” you looked at pedro, his eyebrows furrowed. looking deeply into the fellas eyes. “can you ask something other then inappropriate shit. i don’t really appreciate it” looking back at the interviewer, he seemed to panic looking down at his little book.

the guy didn’t have any other normal questions, just ones about things that were kept between you and pedro.

“if that’s all you have, me and y/n are leaving. i think it’s a little disrespectful that the only questions you have are ones about our personal life, especially ones like that. asking such questions around my lady like that isn’t exactly right” you smiled, you loved when pedro protected you like this. he knew you were off, he knew you felt uncomfortable. you always do when anyone ever asked about your own business, not because you are embarrassed. hell, you love every sentimental moment you spend with him. but when people ask, you despise it.

the interviewer was stunned, looking at both you and pedro. “they were just questions, i think your overreacting sir” pedro leaned forward. “overreacting? sir there is no such thing as overreacting when you care about your girls feelings. i respect she feels uncomfortable, you should too as a gentleman. now if you would excuse me, we are leaving”

god your so proud of your man, you find it so charming when he sticks up for you. he’s a real gentleman. you bloody love him.

he stood up abruptly, holding your hand you walked out of the room. “what a dick..” he said quiet enough for you too hear, a laugh escaped your mouth. “thank you, i’m glad you said that. it was horrible.” he wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“of course mi amour, i could tell you were a bit iffy. now how would you feel if we went to target and i allow us to go in for how ever long you heart desires” you stopped dead in your tracks. “you should never give time this much freedom.” you said with a straight face.

“oh trust me i’m very aware baby, oh and after we can go to you favourite desert shop and we can get whatever we want. i’m paying”

“oh sweet jesus, i love you. you are definitely gettin me tonight” he smirked

“i love you too baby”

[mysadcorner]

Maybe Jason Todd x reader who has Spider-Mans abilities? Ik Spider-Man is marvel but I think it would be pretty interesting/cool little crossover thing :) bc like SPIDER-MAN POWERS>>

Jason Todd x SpiderManPowers!Reader Headcanons

-Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in headcanons -

Masterlist Navigation

Jason's first reaction to your Spider powers would be pretty loud and enthusiastic. He meets heroes, villains and other vigilantes all the time but you're abilities are something he's never seen before, and since he wants to get to know you this means he wants to know all about your abilities too.

If you use them to fight crime then he's going to be pretty distracted by the things you can do when he sees them for the first time. You seem so agile and capable with the abilities you have that he wonder's what kind of training you may have had. Also, he does get slightly jealous as to wanting abilities like that of his own similar to how a child would until he realises that your ability to swing using webs would be too much like something Dick would enjoy doing.

He'd be more than willing to accompany you, or at least watch out for you on the side lines if you're used to dealing with crime by yourself. He knows that not everyone grew up in a vigilante family like he did, so he wants you to know that he'll give you all the space you need until you want to do this together with him and use both your skills to an advantage.

Jason is very curious how he may have not heard about someone with spider-like powers roaming around Gotham before, and it's because of this that he assumes you must be pretty young and haven't yet established a well known persona for yourself. If this is the case then he'll go out of his way to drop hints and make people aware that you're around to help when he's helping people in need so that civilians and kids have a natural trust towards you.

The one and only thing that annoys Jason about you having spider-like abilities is the connection to animals. Not that he's found you and he constantly surrounded by reminders of Bruce he's sick of having to hear animal related vigilantes around him, but at least yours are genuine and not just used as inspiration for a frightening costume.

He likes to watch as you use your skills and abilities for mundane and everyday things, such as using your webs to drag things towards you or being able to climb pretty much anything with ease. He usually watches while you do this, but it also makes quiet rooftop meeting with you pretty interesting.

Your senses definitely come in handy during a fight, and he's very much grateful for them. Because of your senses you're able to defend and protect people who may be in danger or other vigilantes when facing a criminal and villain better than his reflexes could ever manage, whilst this also furthers your reputation as someone there to help others once word spreads around.

Swinging through Gotham would be a fun new thing for him to experience, even though he does make his way through Gotham using grappling hooks sometimes. However, really taking the time to go through Gotham without looking out for danger gives Jason a new found way to experience the freedom that you've been experiencing for a while.

Having spider-like abilities also comes with a lot of danger, as certain villains and criminals will be on the look out for you, both to cause you serious harm and to potentially use you for their own personal gain. Jason will be on the look out for things like this and will be the first to jump into action if anyone tries to target you.

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Blaine Anderson from Glee vs Barok Van Zieks from The Great Ace Attorney

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Blaine Anderson:

LOVE: - "you know that post that's like "fandom will call a character evil and immature and then the character is just 15 yo" because that's what happens with blaine. he's just a sweet but socially inept kid with a lot of insecurities who's trying his best. compared to most glee characters he hasn't done anything wrong in his life. and yes he cheated on his boyfriend that one time, but he was super depressed afterwards (also this is glee literally every character has cheated and none have suffered as most as blaine because of it). in conclusion he's just a silly goose. my little princess <3"

HATE: (tumblr will not let me format this one bc its too long)

"A lot of people say he's the male Rachel Berry, and while I think that is absolutely a true statement, I actually don't mind his personality all that much. Literally everyone in Glee has a personality that ranges from inconsistent to downright horrendeus, so instead of talking about what he's like, here's some things he canonically does (buckle up, this'll be long): In season 2, when we first meet him, he's the leader of his school's showchoir. (redflag no.1/j) This gives him the freedom and authoritity to do a lot of stuff- not all bad, but he does serenade a closeted guy he doesn't know all that well, who works in costumer service AT HIS WORKPLACE, with a song about sex toys. (The guy in question ends up getting fired of course). He also gives some pretty hypocritical advice to his love interest, Kurt, about how he should try to blend in (hypocritical, cuz Blaine does the opposite and he's thriving under the attention), and he asks some insesitive questions, but those are all pretty excusable, or at least standard for Glee. In s3, him and Kurt are boyfriends, and he transitions school for him, which we could absolutely count as a decent thing, however it all kinda sours when he gets the part of Tony in the school's production of West side story. Why is this important? Kurt is a senior, and the performing arts university he's applying for is really competitive, so he needs all the extra curriculars and theatre experiance he can get. He asks Blaine to not aidition for Tony- which he agrees to- than promptly goes against that by singing one of Tony's songs at audition. He then gets offfered the role, doesn't turn it down, tells Kurt he should be happy for him, and honestly, BY GLEE STANDARDS, this is also pretty chill. Meanwhile: enter Sebastian Smythe, another contraversial character, who's now the new captain of Blaine's former showchoir, and who decides that either 1. Blaine is hot 2. Gonna use Blaine as an informat (His reasons are unclear tbh) Either way, he starts flirting with Blaine, who does end up rejecting his advances and telling him he's taken (though much later than it's probably ethical, idk tho, I'm aro). He (Blaine) really enjoys the attention though, so they end up keeping in touch. (Important for later.) Back to our main plot though; Blaime doesn't have sexual chemistry with his co-star, so the director tells him to lose his virginity (yes, you heared that right, it is fucked up). So he tries to sleep with Kurt, who of course, doesn't know that his boyfriend's sudden interest in him is due to directoral instructions. And then probably the most contraversial Blaine scene happens- see, Blaine, Kurt, and Sebastian (who Kurt hates with passion) end up going to this gaybar. Blaime gets drunk (though he only drinks one beer on screen, so we don't exactly know how drunk), and tries to sleep with Kurt in the parking lot. Kurt is visibly upset, and tells him no multiple times. Blaime doesn't oblige, and Kurt ends up shouting at him, which Blaine...doesn't take well, and blames Kurt, then leaves by foot. (They end up having sex by the end of this episode btw. No, Kurt still doesn't know about the directoral instructions. Whether he does it out of love or fear that Blaine will leave him is unclear) So we already know these two are not very good at boundries and communication, but the writers say they're "soulmates" so apperantly it's okay? Anyway, this all culminates in cheating incident no.1, where Kurt meets a guy whom he shares similar interests with, and who gives him some very cheesy compliements. They exchange numbers, and text a lot. Blaine doesn't like this. He checks their texts in secret, and then sings a song in front of the entire Glee club about how he's being cheated on, to humiliate Kurt.

Kurt insists it's not cheating, giving the example that Blaine's doing the same/used ro do the same with Sebastian. Blaine says "that's different" and they leave it at that. Kurt apologises via song. S4- Kurt moves to New York. Has to work a lot, since rebt is high, and also gets an internship at vague, so he's quite busy. Blaine feels ignored, so he cheats on him with some guy we only see the facebook profile of. They break up. S5- Blaine has a crush in this other guy, Sam. (He's been trying to get Kurt back, so him moving on is a big deal). Except gay marrige gets legalized, and Blaine decides to propose to Kurt. So he gets back together with him, then bot a week later he arranges a huge public proposal where it'd honestly just be plain emberassing to say no, but dontcha worry, because Kurt accepts. They move to New York together. Blaine becomes insecure, because Kurt gets ripped thanks to his fencing lessons, meanwhile he lrts go of himself a bit, enjoying all the fine food New York has to offer. His reaction to this is to try manipulating/tricking Kurt into eating copious amounts of food too. (To be fair, Kurt's reaction to the situation isn't perfect either, but this is not about him, their actions can co-exist without one of them necessarily having to be "the right one") S6- Kurt breaks up with Blaine. Blaine ends up going back to Ohio, and dating the guy who bullied, non-consensually kissed, than threatened to kill Kurt. (The guy did have a redemption arc, but I still dunno how to feel) You might be wondering- "wow, this was so lpng and extensive", and you'd be right but also this was mostly romantic relationship centric. There's also a lot of stuff Blaine says to his friends that make me question my sanity, but this is Glee, so that's every character in basically every episode. What makes me hate Blaine isn't even JUST all this- it's the fact that in universe, he almost never gets called-out, people take his side, it's as if the writers are condoning his actions, and I Don't Like That. I'm all for liking morally grey, or even morally dispicable characters, as long as their actions don't get excused. Hell, I started out just mildly disliking Blaine, but a lot of people paint him as innocent and pure, and that didn't feel right. Then I was ready to like him BECUASE of his questionable morality- but turns out, the guy doean't have much else going on besides this. His personality is almost the same as Rachel, except Rachel's more...full? If that makes sense? Blaine is just...bland. And inconsistent, and boring, and I just Do Not Like Him At All."

Baron Van Zieks:

LOVE: - "man's 6'4", british, looks like a vampire, took a mental health break for 5 years thanks to the dead bodies that cropped up after he lost in court, and is uhhhhhh kinda racist which is a key part of his character. the explanation for it is divisive but he does grow as a character eventually?? i think he's fun. there's a bonus case exclusive to the 3DS version of the games where he mentions he was almost poisoned in one of the first cases he ever handled. he objects with his leg. he brings wine into court but rarely drinks it. he has bats in his office. we have no idea where the scar on his face came from. his voice actor did a subway commercial. i think he wants to believe he is the sane one in the courtroom but that title belongs to the 16 year old judicial assistant for the defense." - "I love to hate him tbh!!! He's a complex interesting character tied up in things outside of his control and being used by the antagonist to hurt people, isolated due to his grief and rumors from the public. He also sucks SO fucking bad and I want to punch him. Lovingly. But I love him I promise."

[uyuforu]

Can you give more details on his Venus Libra, please? As in...is there any other placements in the chart that support "weak" placements (particularly in his chart and in general is it a thing)? Idk how to ask it correctly.

I mean, isn't it quite torturing for a person to live like that and never been satisfied with the partners and kinda not being able to fall in love with an actual person?

If not the placements how a person can fix it? Is it about shadow work/maturing or anything like that? Or it's written in the core of a person?

It's interesting because my Venus is in Gemini and all this relationship thing is kinda too...real and boring? Not a dreamy romantic thoughtful novel as I always portrayed it, duh 🤪

Jungkook's Natal Chart: Libra Venus in 9H, 17°

-> Hello! Thank you for your request! To be honest, I wasn't supposed to do this one lol but I'm currently in a café so I don't have my tarots with me lmao and I hate to draw cards in public. So I will do the Venus analysis of Jungkook in his Natal Chart! Hope you enjoyed :)

Venus in the Chart represents how you love, what you are attracted to and how you feel loved. This is a good placement to look at to know more about your love style and mostly also any red flags you could attract or even be! It makes you more aware of yourself.

Venus in Libra

-> Okay, so. Venus in Libra is a tricky placement to me. First, it just screams romance. Rom com love like. These people are just so so so romantic, you never saw that. But it's not like dramatic love, it's really poetry like love. These people, when in love, give the world to their partner. Libra is still an air sign, so they value freedom too. But their hopelessness has a bad side. First it can make them struggle to find love, as they wish to. They can expect too much, and be disappointed, and feel like they will never find what they are looking for. These people need to not mistake the imaginary with reality. So these people can go in many relationships, or more kind of situations hips. They can also date but find it hard to fall in love, because they really are waiting for "the one". They can also enjoy flirting, these natives can have periods in life when they just want to have fun. They are so charismatic and flirt like nobody lmao. Also, sometimes their kindness can be mistaken for flirting. They may always feel like someone have a crush on them? Or they really enjoy to have people falling for them, they enjoy seeing they affect people. They take good care of themselves, they love to look good and have compliments. Some people could see it as shallow, but they are really nice people. They hate injustice, and hate mean people. They need equality, fairness, kindness, non judgmental people to feel good in a relationship. Basically, a Libra Venus will provide you equality, gentleness, allegiance. But they require devotion, traditional romance, companionship. If you are not romantic, it's a no. If you don't love them enough, it's a no. But once they are happy and feel loved in their relationship, they are just such a cute partner! The kind of partner to just give you all their love, and I noticed these people have all the 5 love languages lol! And they truly believe love always win. They want someone they can show their flaws to and they will gladly accept yours in return. Also! Funny thing but people with Venus signs (Taurus & Libra) in Venus have a wonderful voice most of the times and it's easy for them to write beautiful things (so songs and stories for example). I know JK talked about how he thinks he is not good at it but I'm sure he has good potential! (Still with you for ex).

Venus in 9H

-> The 9H is represented by Sagittarius. For keywords, it has travel, wisdom, philosophy, religion, cross-cultures, foreign countries, learnings, etc. THIS is the placement I saw first that actually told me something: Jungkook doesn't care much about where is partner can come from. Let me explain. The Korean society is pretty strict on this, because of the fact their parents sometimes want to keep the bloodline pure, or it can also be them, language barrier, culture barrier, all of these things are factors on why Koreans (most of them, not all) have a problem about marrying or even dating foreigners. But it feels like Jungkook doesn't care much? She is a foreigner? She doesn't look like everyone else? They don't share same religion? If he is in love, he truly doesn't care. He may actually enjoy dating someone different from him, so even someone who is not famous or does a different job than him, he likes it. He is curious and enjoy the differences. He may love also someone smart who has a lot of knowledges, that it's school wise or even life's philosophy wise. JK has so much admiration for RM for example, I wouldn't be shocked if it would be the same for his partner. Her having a brain is super important. He also want adventures, a spontaneous person and someone he can teach stuff, but also someone who can teach him things. Someone who loves to travel is a good thing also. He needs someone happy, chill, who will make him less anxious. And to be honest, this placement makes me feel like someone spiritual would do him so good. And he way be interested in this because of this placement! This placement (Venus Libra 9H) is what makes me think of why he could have tried fwb and ons, this placement makes him want to experience things in life. He just want to learn, to see, to discover all possibilities, but without any judgments. It makes JK very independent when it comes to relationships. He loves his so and I'm sure he is the clingy type of bf sometimes (I'll explain in the degree part hehe), but when it comes to him as a person, he needs freedom. He needs freedom for work, for hobbies, for his friends, for his family but also himself. If he can't find it, he will either become distant or just break up lmao. This placement makes him more into marrying with a spiritual person.

17°

-> The 17° is a Leo degree! It represents attention, fame, light, children, creativity, self-expression, entertainment, strength, hair, etc. So, he may like people who have beautiful hair, or hair could just be a thing he likes, like people who take care of their hair. And with the Libra Venus, I feel like just taking care of themselves is a thing for him. Love can make him much more creative. And so dating someone who share the same interest in creativity and art is important to him. Someone strong or who appear confident. Someone who is fun, a sun in the room, or just someone he can admire, like "she shines so naturally", "wow she is so pretty", or "she is so talented I love it". Admiration seems to be a big part here for Jungkook. Also dating a celebrity doesn't seem a problem for him? Or becoming a famous couple? He doesn't care much if people don't invade their privacy too much. He doesn't care if he can control what you have access to.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; requests ; rules

[m00nt4r0t]

✮ how are you SHOCKING people? ✮

pile one, two, or three?

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile one!

song on shuffle: art deco by lana del rey — “you’re so art deco out on the floor, shining like gold medal, cold and unsure,”

the way that the wheel always turn in your favor and the new life and creative expression you get from karma being served shocks people heavily. even in moments of extreme injustice, confusion, betrayal, ignoring the signs and being oblivious to what's being done behind your back, you always come out as the victor and the wheel is always in your favor. and, although these situations tend to leave behind a painful impact to your heart, you always grow your love and you become ten times more abundant the more you learn. people are shocked to learn that they really can't hide anything from you because you always seem to find out. you grow through your emotions and you use your feelings for creative and nurturing reasons. if you're someone who sings, draws, writes, or creates basically anything - the amount of talent and skill you have shocks people. you have real potential to turn your creative endeavors into a career.

i'm also getting messages that what you're passionate about as well as your kinks/sex drive is very shocking to people as well. you could be someone who feels passionate about exploration, higher education/knowledge, the freedom to express yourself, and doing what your heart desires because of the fact that life is too short to play it safe. people may tend to be shocked about your sexual orientation as well. the way you carry yourself and your general style may be shocking to those who usually see you in a uniform (such as coworkers and/or classmates.) i'm getting a lot of emphasis on your love life being very shocking to people - even the way you love is shocking. you could also be on tv or make some sort of videos online that people don't really expect to see. there's also some emphasis on the way you dress and express yourself online and in person. you're surprisingly more creative than people initially think and there's also something about your bosy that tends to shock people - could be your height, shape, maybe even body hair? it may be so surprising that people tend to assume that you edit your photos, but when they see the proof in person they're genuinely surprised (a little bit jealous, too.) you may be studying to be a doctor or you just know a lot about health and the human body. you could also be an herbalist and you know a lot about which herbs gives you certain benefits, and people don't expect you to be as educated as you are on that topic!

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ♡

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile two!

song on shuffle: dark angel by provoked — “dark angel under the night sky, i only see you in low light,”

first message i’m seeing is that there’s something about your appearance that is very shocking to people - you may be very curvy or there’s something about your face/body that is very luscious (could even be your hair and/or body modifications.) your family and/or your friend group may all have appearances that stand out in similar ways, which is very distinctive to people (as well as shocking.) for example, you and your family may all have red hair and green eyes. another example is you and your friends may all have pink hair or matching tattoos. the majority of you may be night owls and you stay up late / sleep all day. you may enjoy late night walks (alone?) and you don’t really scare easy. people get shocked by your carelessness and some may say you’re foolish for taking risks - but some others call you brave. people are also shocked at how grounded and stable you are. they assume that you take risks because you’re not worried about your future, but in reality they’re just not aware of how calculated and thought-out your actions are. i also feel like you’re a bit colder than people initially expect you to be.

the way you're more than capable of facing any challenge and persevere is also shocking to people. you're truly someone who doesn't give up and you keep pushing through until you've made it to your destined location. notice how i said destined location, not desired location. you may not always get to where you want, but you're always going to get to where you need to be. it also shocks people that there's so many people who want to compete with you, but they simply don't compare. you really don't give these people any of your energy or thought and yet you always beat them in the one-sided competition in their head. you're extremely physically attractive and you're very confident within yourself. you're also more generous and caring than people expect you to be. although you do come off as a bit cold, people know that you have love inside you and that you're not stingy with your resources. you have clear boundaries up and you don't let just anybody in; but you're not as judgmental and closed off as people usually think. however, you're quick to cut off your generosity if you feel that someone is taking advantage of it and/or not reciprocating the same kindness. the fact that you even inspire people who conspire against you adds to your shock factor, pile two. your communication is very witty and you tend to learn a lot from others as well as teach others a lot in return. again, your strength is very shocking to people and people find you to be very mystical.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ♡

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀ pile three!

song on shuffle: nikes on my feet by mac miller — “nikes on my feet make my cyber complete,”

for some of you, something about your social media presence is shocking to people; maybe because your posts are very unique and aesthetically pleasing - or because you don’t post at all and you’re much more private than most people expect. if you do post and have some sort of social presence, then this is telling me that there’s something you express online that you usually don’t express in public (if you do, you don’t do it very often.) people are shocked by the amount of creativity and confidence you obtain and express; it feels sacred to some people. they know that you’re more than capable of going places (this can mean success and/or traveling) and that you’re meant for something “more.” most of you who chose this pile know that you’re meant to explore and gain experience in new environments. you’re a lot more unique and expressive when people get to know you (and if they witness you interacting with people you’re comfortable with.) with that being said, your charisma and sense of humor tend to shock people as well. some of you may be young or have a youthful essence to your energy (even your appearance and the ways you express yourself.) i feel as though no matter what age you are, people naturally assume you’re a bit younger than your actual age.

you shock people because you tend to be dishonest and/or very secretive when it comes to your opportunities and your finances in general. i’m also getting the message that you aren’t the type of person who shows their anger very often - at least not with people you don’t know. you try to be as kind and expressive as you can, maybe because that’s what you feel is expected from you. i feel as though you tend to hide your projects/opportunities because of fear of things not going as planned - you also don’t want to ruin the surprise. you’d rather show off the finished project rather than a work-in-progress. another thing about you that shocks people is how sacrificial you are when it comes to your emotional connections. you do a lot for those you care for and this may have lead you to a moment where you were giving but not receiving from someone important, which left you feeling trapped in some way. you may also have a tendency to go back to those who have hurt you. although, i see that you are learning how to leave behind situations that no longer serve a greater purpose in your life. you left behind the empty promises and meaningless apologies and chose yourself. this could’ve been a journey you’ve taken that some people have witnessed over time, and this was a pretty shocking revelation they’ve seen you go through. this could be siblings/parents/people you live with/people who see you very very often. something else that’s shocking is the fact that you’ve gone through so much and yet you’re still such a charismatic, lovely person overall.

﹒ . ⊹ ♡ ⁺ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ❀ . ﹒ ₊ ✮ ₊ ⁺ ⊹ ♡

hey guyssss, i haven't posted in a while lol. normally i would apologize, but it was honestly a much needed break! i plan to post pacs occasionally and keep a schedule going, but i will be posting more frequently on patreon!

thank u for reading and interacting! <3

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[tsublue]

Lilith in ASTROLOGY & observations

Picture credits: Pinterest

What does Lilith mean in astrology?

• Lilith, or more specifically, Black Moon Lillith, is the furthest point of the moon’s orbit around the earth, when the moon is at its most isolated. It represents “a person’s primitive impulses and behavior in their rawest form,” revealing repressed sexuality and “expresses the dark side of one’s personality, buried deep in the subconscious realms of our psyche.” Intense spooky energy. It’s also referred to as “our shadow self” and “Dark Side of the Moon.”

!! I truly love reading the comments and hearing about your thoughts. Let me know what is your Lilith in and what are your thoughts on it!

!! Please do not re-word, copy, steal, repost and etc my post. If you want to use something from my posts, then please ask for permission first and give credits. !!

Lilith in Aries/1st house/Aries degrees(1, 13, 25)

Your subconscious thinking is sharp minded and with a sharp tongue. You are willing to do anything to maintain your personal freedom. Depending on the chart, you get karmatic responses and they might happen to come later in life. Your extreme passions can prevent burnout and breakdowns. In relationships, you must learn to indulge and include your partner as you do yourself.

Lilith in Taurus/2nd house/Taurus degrees(2, 14, 26)

You are willing to do anything to feel physical and emotional pleasure. Mostly from people. You know how to separate yourself from people and avoid their energy, but you tend to ignore it sometimes. In a relationship you want to know the body of your partner in many ways such as even how it moves physically. You need to learn to balance your spiritual health and material wealth.

Lilith in Gemini/3rd house/Gemini degrees(3, 15, 27)

You are great at talking, but may feel an inner dissatisfaction in everything you do. Everything you already have learned or know still feels like it’s not enough still. You are prone to gossiping even the slightest bit or you do it with yourself in your head since you do not want to deal with the aftermath. Your words are the ones you defend yourself and you know how to choose them. You also tend to have a difficulty to settle for a relationship in many ways. But it does not have to be your priority. Enjoy your own time.

Lilith in Cancer/4th house/Cancer degrees(4, 16, 28)

In relationships you tend to give so much that you might lose your independence and traits of your own personality. Deep inside you is there still this innocent little kid who wants love and peace. When you’re with yourself you probably enjoy taking care of your inner child. Do not jump into love and relationships at a minor convince and to just feel it. Focus on yourself and set boundaries and boarder lines between you, your mind and the outsiders and others thoughts and opinions. Have your eyes out. People are here to manipulate you.

Lilith in Leo/5th house/Leo degrees(5, 17, 29)

You might me seen as someone who overindulges and there is basically almost nothing you can do about it even if it is not true. Be aware to not have excessive confidence and self-esteem to the point of delusion and narcissism. It is your karmatic duty to look out for your attitude and how you present yourself. You either get bored with yourself or at a perfect balance and would rather be by yourself maybe because of the experience with not matching with other people and in other words getting called annoying.

Lilith in Virgo/6th house/Virgo degrees(6, 18)

You have an obsession with detail and perfection even if you never want to admit it. You love to be in control in many ways. Simply because you know how to do it and only you can do it right. Your karmatic duty will involve you letting go of control and the need for perfection and embracing change. Your subconscious is a very straight forward and analytical place. you overindulge in aesthetics and obsess over little details you will eventually learn to let things take their course if you put your mind really into it.

Lilith in Libra/7th house/Libra degrees(7, 19)

You and your subconscious is a social butterfly. You overindulge in the company of others. You need to set a line between yourself and others when talking and being around etc. You need to set boundaries for yourself. Losing your personality in a conversation just to be liked in that 5 min convo is not good for you. You need to learn to be by yourself as a karmatic duty. Marriage and long term relationships may bring struggles to you or you may meet partners who are karmatic or karma to you.

Lilith in Scorpio/8th house/Scorpio degrees(8, 20)

Your subconscious is often in need for transformation such as for you to turn bigger and better. You are prone to the dark and dark truths even if it can scare you. You want to know everything. On the outside picture you like to keep your mind and subconscious hidden and far away from other energies and people who can harm it since its a fragile thing and you need to protect it even if it’s a subconscious thought. You also may seek for the spiritual reasoning and meaning in things you do daily and your mind is like a library. You have A LOT there, especially in the subconscious. I’d recommend you to be close with your mind and develop an connection more than anything.

Lilith in Sagittarius/9th house/Sagittarius degrees(9, 21)

You may love education and getting knowledge even if you do not want to admit it. there is a pull towards the spiritual and a natural go-with-the-flow attitude. One of your karmatic duties is to figure out what you truly believe in without any pressure from other individuals. You really gotta figure out what is the right and wrong on your own. You probably deep down think that everything is fated and out of your control but there are still things out there that you CAN control continuously. You will have to chase relationships that help you grow spiritually rather than in societal education.

Lilith in Capricorn/10th house/Capricorn degrees(10, 22)

For your karmatic duty your public success and material wealth will be tested. You gotta learn to detach yourself from your work life and balance other stuff such as non material stuff. You are very much family oriented and it will help your develop relationships that run in other than materialistic level. You may feel like an outcast or even maybe basic in the subconscious and if pisces placements included in the chart then it has caused isolation since you’ve figured out there is not better place then your own mind or your try to avoid it. Just a friendly and helpful reminder: You running away won’t make them stop chasing. process through it.

Lilith in Aquarius/11th house/Aquarius degrees(11, 23)

You tend to base your personality and mindset off of your friend group and the people you surround yourself with. You need a feel of uniqueness and being different in the subconscious. It can bring you stress and anxiety if you are fitting in too much. If may feel like you’ve lost you and your personality and became an NPC in a way. You thrive in a relationship where the person has a uniqueness to themselves as well. Your karmatic duty will be learning to set boundaries and stop being a people pleaser. Each friendship and relationship will teach you something. Even if you think it’s the most useless thing. You learn a lot from these and different people for an example if they have a different background.

Lilith in Pisces/12th house/Pisces degrees(12, 24)

You have a severe need to escape life all the time. You will learn that your mind and unconscious is an unique place and isolation are a pleasurable things. Your karmatic duty is to regain your independence while simultaneously working and healing with others. you have a regenerative power from within and can master great strength to transform yourself. You need to have a line, even if its really thin between your spiritual and physical health. In relationships you may struggle with welcoming your partner into your mind and mindset since it’s a well protected place that people rarely have access to and learning to be more open is hard.

WOAH that took me a whole day but I finished it on an angel number👍

If you do not relate to the observations, then keep in mind, that it’s just my observations and not everything is straight up 100% facts.

I really truly hope that you enjoyed this post.

I also have a song for you who have made it this far, you deserve a treat!

The depressive one:

And the happier one I guess?:

See you next time!

~ Love, Tsunami

#astrology #lilith #observations #tumbrl

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

TL;DR: I am massively over sharing, but not going anywhere. This will be long, but I am enjoying the freedom that openness is affording me. TW: baby loss.

You might remember a couple of weeks ago I mentioned I thought I had norovirus or food poisoning, it turns out it was the onset of a miscarriage. I didn’t know I was pregnant, but once the vomiting, etc. had passed I felt a heaviness in my lower abdomen, coupled with heavy bleeding. I wasn’t due on yet and something just didn’t feel right. Max drove me to A&E and in the four hours it took for me to be seen, I’d passed most of it on the waiting room floor.

I don’t want kids and, owing to fertility issues, I can’t carry to full term anyway. I didn’t feel like I had a right to grieve, to be sad over something I didn’t want, so I didn’t tell anyone. The only person that knew was Max.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve shut myself off from everyone and been unbearable to be around. I tell Max to leave me alone when he tries to talk to me. We tried to go on a lunch date together last weekend and ended up going home early because we both felt miserable. He bought me flowers - he always does when I am sad - and they usually always cheer me up. I hated these flowers. They felt like they served as a reminder of my lack of control, a reward for something I hadn’t earned. When they died and I could finally throw them away I felt relieved.

I’ve poured myself into fandom, hoping for a distraction. You may have noticed my last two Aemond fics were angsty ones (Anhedonia and Careless Words) - I think that was my way of attempting to release whatever it was that I’d bottled up.

Then the drama started - I defended a friend and for 48 hours I was publicly torn apart on another user’s page. Old issues were dragged into it and once more resurfaced. It’s hit me a lot harder than it usually would because I just don’t have the capacity to deal with it.

But it did give me the shove I finally needed to open up and talk about what has happened to me. I’ve talked through my feelings with Max, we went on a cinema date together and it was nice, so nice. We told each other we’d missed each other.

It’s like a weight has been lifted, and has given me some much needed clarity on the situation here in fandom. I am not prepared to walk away from fandom, I adore writing too much. However, I can admit that both parties involved in what has transpired over the last few days, weeks, months, have acted appallingly. I hold my hands up to the part I have played and I apologise. I will be better, do better.

With that in mind, I will be Marie Kondo-ing my space and removing anyone that does not bring me joy. I suggest you all do the same. Don’t follow people out of obligation, don’t be nice publicly then slander them in private. If you don’t like me, don’t follow me. I want nothing in my little corner of the web that I don’t enjoy. I don’t want to put out anything that has the potential to sour people’s fandom experience or make it a toxic experience for them.

I can’t be best buddies with everyone, but I refuse to be anyone’s enemy either. I will choose to be kind, because over the last couple of weeks I have not been kind to myself or others. And it has fucking sucked. No more.

I don’t want anyone’s sympathy, so please spare me. I just wanted to be fully transparent. It’s nice not to bottle this up anymore.