#with so many unresolved anger issues

[what-a-fella]

wolverine my short king

[trans-xianxian]

to all of the mewtchuals who followed me back when I was 17. you are so brave thanks for sticking around 😭

[rusty-lustful-fireflies]

I like thinking about how Blitzø and Stolas are compatible in their messed up ways, but there's one clear incompatibility between them, on ground on their unresolved traumas;

Blitzø has anger issues, overactive fight reaction

while Stolas has been verbally attacked & abused by Stella for at least 17 years

Stolas has avoidant issues, overactive flight reaction

while Blitzø has been abandoned and ignored by many people practically whole his life

So it fucks with their relationship.

In Ozzie's Stolas avoids confrontation, Blitzø feels he's ashamed of him and gets upset and aggressive after giving Stolas a lift.

Later in the series, Stolas texts less and ,,gives Blitzø space" which makes Blitzø worried that he's not wanted anymore. Then when he's offered the crystal, it triggers him, making him convinced completely that he's being abandoned again. He jokes rudely, Stolas feels he's mocked and so he leaves, which causes Blitzø to lash out, which causes Stolas to kick him out...

They really need to resolve their internal problems first in order to work out

[sleepinthrumyalarms]

— to tame a demon

pairing: wednesday addams x fem!oni!reader

warnings: none

summary: a new mid-semester arrival in the face of the gloomy addams girl meets the resident demonic student who's all witty remarks and tusked grins, and something inhumane draws her in

word count: 4.8k

"There are many flavors of outcasts here," Enid began, hands behind her back as she guided Wednesday through the yard, "but the four main cliques are Fangs, Furs, Stoners, and Scales," she counted, pointing to the table where a group of neat-looking students sat, sipping at some bottled red liquid, "Those are the Fangs, a.k.a, vampires. Some of them have literally been here for decades."

The girl moved on, and Wednesday's unimpressed glare flicked to another group of students.

"That bunch of knuckleheads are Furs, a.k.a, werewolves. Like me!”

The fuzzy-haired teens sitting at the table howled at the mention, greeting their kin.

"Oh, you see that girl? That's (Y/n) (L/n). She's not a werewolf, but a close thing. An oni demon.”

The young woman was sitting at the table next to the Furs, hitting her werewolf friend in the shoulder to get him to stop with the loud noise. She didn't really stand out — the girl wore a set of the standard issued uniform, her jacket and a few top buttons of her shirt unbuttoned. But one thing about her appearance really did catch Wednesday's eye — her canines, both top and bottom, crooked at the ends and big enough to protrude from a small slit between her lips. Despite the effect they had on her mouth, the tusks didn't make her face look inhumane, and, as the demon looked up to wave at Enid, Wednesday noticed a pair of snake-like slits in her (e/c) scleras.

The ravenette caught herself thinking of how pretty those eyes were.

"A close thing?" She wondered out loud, making a show of gazing somewhere away from the face of the oni girl, as if she was asking the question out of sheer curiosity.

"Yeah, well, she doesn't exactly "wolf out", per se. Think of her as... a girl with unresolved anger issues who lets her inner demons out every Blood Moon. So like, basically all of us," the blonde said, giggling at her own joke, "Dunno if it affects her looks, though... No one has ever seen (Y/n) during one of her demon furies."

Wednesday looked back at the oni, catching sight of the girl talking with her friends, a small grin on her face as she listened to their energetic rambles with amusement.

What an interesting creature.

Wednesday wasn't extremely enthusiastic about botany lessons. Thanks to her mother, she was practically an expert in the field of carnivorous plants. But skipping just wasn't her style, and she walked into the classroom, hoping the disinterest she had in the subject was clear on her pale face.

As the girl looked around the class to find herself a seat, her eyes quickly traveled above the heads of her classmates. She noticed Enid next to Yoko, so sitting with a person she was at least a bit acquainted with was off limits. Wednesday felt far from sad about the fact - having to neighbor with the hyperactive blonde in the dorms was enough excitement in her life.

Her gaze then suddenly fell on the two half-empty desks in the second row. One of the vacant seats was right next to Xavier, and mulling her decision over she realised she would prefer to sit next to a wolfed-out Enid rather than the miserable artist. Quickly making up her mind, Wednesday walked up to the other desk, and felt Xavier's gaze on the back of her head as she sat down, taking her backpack off to place it at her feet. She still had a few minutes before the class started, she could indulge in some macabre reminiscings of hers before the actual torture began.

"Oh. Hey," the gloomy girl heard a voice call out on her right, and turned to look up at her neighbor. Her breath hitched as she realised it was the oni girl, her cheek leaning against her fist as she smiled at Wednesday lazily, her top lip rising to her gums slightly to bare the intimidating tusks. If she was trying to scare Wednesday away, it certainly didn't work, "You're Wednesday, right? Enid wasn't exactly secretive about her new sombre roommate. I was hoping I'd get a chance to meet you."

The girl offered a clawed hand as a greeting, "I'm (Y/n)."

Wednesday took a moment to look the demon over. Her (h/c) hair was put up in a messy ponytail, some of the locks falling in front of her pointed ears, framing her face, and her (e/c) cat-like eyes were staring down at Wednesday with a playful glint. She was wearing the same uniform as the rest of the class, and the undone buttons exposed the top of the girl's collarbones.

What an annoying habit. Didn't she know what formal dress code was?

“Huh. The teeth don't seem to affect your speech, despite their uncomfortable positioning,” the ravenette noted, shaking the taller girl’s outstretched hand, finding it rather warm in contrast to her own dead-cold skin. If the demon found the temperature or the rather rude comment off-putting, she didn’t show it, “I hope I didn’t intrude.”

“No, no, you’re good,” (Y/n) reassured, leaning her elbow back against the seat, “And those? Yeah, I’m not an orc, you know. You should see how big they get when I... on second thought, you probably shouldn't." She stopped her rant bashfully, cheeks warming slightly at the realization of a rather sensitive topic not being suitable when meeting someone new.

"Not a pretty sight?"

"Outrageous."

"Hm.” Wednesday looked away from the other girl’s face, staring at the board in front of the class.

“I think I'd love to see."

That made (Y/n) chuckle, “You do seem like the type to enjoy outrageous and hideous things.”

Their conversation came to an end when Ms. Thornhill entered the classroom, holding a big pot in her gloved hands, and both girls turned their attention to the teacher.

(Y/n) had to admit that hers had seemed to switch to her new intriguing neighbor a few times. She watched Wednesday from the corner of her eye, taking in the girl’s frigid expression as she listened to the lecture without any interest, and found it hard to refocus on the lesson again.

It was the early hours of morning as Wednesday walked to the dining hall, completely devoid of any appetite but having nothing to do in this ungodly time. Most of the students were still asleep, and the halls were empty, letting the gloomy girl enjoy her solitude, her platformed shoes the only sound accompanying her.

Seemingly enjoying the peacefulness too much, she didn’t notice another person coming down from the other side of the stairs, and bumped into them, the collision powerful enough to tear her out of her thoughts.

Ready to put the culprit into the hospital for the rest of the school year, Wednesday looked up, and her emotionless gaze met the (e/c) - colored one.

“Good morning, Wednesday. Up to tackle people to their deaths so early?” (Y/n) chuckled, straightening her jacket before looking the smaller girl up and down, “You alright?”

“Peachy.” Wednesday deadpanned and turned around without another word, continuing on her path to the cafeteria. Much to her disappointment, she heard the other girl follow her, catching up to her smaller strides with ease.

“Were you walking to breakfast too? What a coincidence. A perfect morning for an early snack, I’ve been feeling hungry myself.”

Wednesday didn’t answer, and it was silent again, for which the ravenette was thankful. She could even say she enjoyed walking in the presence of the demon, as long as the latter kept her snarky toothy mouth shut.

"So, do you prefer your human flesh rare or straight from the limb?" The smaller girl asked suddenly without looking at her companion.

"Why, you got some to share?" (Y/n) chuckled, "Nah. I'm more of an animal meat kinda girl. Some of my ancient ancestors did have their man-eating tendencies, but they didn't exactly wear uniforms or went to school either."

"Sounds about right. Otherwise Nevermore would be an all-you-can-eat restaurant for you. Maybe even the whole Jericho town."

The oni laughed at the statement, a loud rough guffaw that almost made Wednesday’s ears bleed. Except it didn’t.

Wednesday found herself standing in the center of the dorm of her demon friend, hands dutifully by her sides as she looked around, catching the smallest details of (Y/n)’s lair. Her bed was made neatly, and some of her notebooks and papers seemed to had been hastily put in a messy pile on her desk, an obvious last-minute measure to make her working space look presentable.

Before she left to get the textbooks she had forgotten at Yoko’s the last time she had a sleepover with the vampire, the girl pulled up a stool to the desk, inviting the other girl to sit down and make herself comfortable, then, before Wednesday could utter a single world, sputtered some nonsense about her awful hospitality and gestured at her own, admittedly much bigger and softer chair, kicked the stool away, and left the room as fast as she could, promising to be back in a flash.

The girls had agreed on studying for the upcoming exam period, and, considering Wednesday was in no need of preparation, let alone tutoring, she made it the most heartfelt gesture to help the (h/c) – haired demon not fail any subjects. The ravenette told herself that she had no choice, that the oni wouldn’t stop whining and pestering her about how much work there was to be done and how little time she had left, but in reality (Y/n) had to only ask once.

Wednesday agreed, but not without grumbling about how annoying and tiresome the demon’s presence was.

Addams moved to take off her backpack and placed it on the desk, taking some books out of it before she took a seat in (Y/n)’s chair. She looked up at the opposite wall, examining the different posters and trinkets hanging on it. A small bonsai tree was sitting on the table that stood against the wall, obviously tended to caringly every single day, if the flourishing green leaves were anything to go by.

Noticing a much more imposing decoration, the girl stood up to get closer to a stand where two samurai swords were displayed in a matching daisho set, a katana and a smaller wakizashi sword. The sayas were of black waxed wood, golden kashiraes mounting both in peculiar bows. Wednesday moved to take a closer look, noticing a face of an oni demon neatly engraved into the scabbard of the katana.

"Something caught your eye?"

Wednesday turned around and away from the sword stand to look at the oni who had managed to sneak up on the other girl, but didn't scare her in the slightest.

"It's nice craftsmanship." Wednesday deadpanned, staring up at her.

(Y/n) looked somewhat pleased with the comment.

"I'm glad you think so," her slitted gaze moved from Wednesday's face to the kake, and the (h/c) - haired girl sighed, her hands behind her back and her shoulders tense, "It's been a while since I've last touched the blade. Don't exactly have a reason to train right now. Peaceful times." She said, almost with a hint of sorrow.

"Why didn't you join the fencing club?"

"Because I deem my swordsmanship a resemblance of my bloodline's ancient traditions, not a sport or a hobby." She answered firmly, but her tone held no offence.

"Strange. I'd see it as an opportunity to be undefeatable at something."

And to outdo Bianca again, no less. What a pleasurable thought.

Wednesday watched the other girl chuckle sheepishly and move her hand up to scratch at the back of her head.

"Well... My thrusting speed has been slacking lately. I'm more into powerful crushing slashes, you know."

"Hm." Wednesday seemed lost in thought, her gaze distant, before she turned to the taller girl again, "You and I should fence sometime. To keep you in shape."

The demon looked taken aback, both at the proposal and the intensity of the ravenette's gaze that wasn't there before. Then she smiled, her eyes warm.

"That'd be an honor. And you know I how I feel about that thing."

Wednesday stared up at the top shelf, aggravated, as if the glare adorning her face would make the book budge and fall into her hands.

She was at the library, looking for the Nightshades book, or anything that would lead her a step closer to the mysterious society. She wished she had brought Thing along. Tall bookcases wouldn't be a problem for him.

Frowning deeper, the ravenette tried to raise her hand a bit higher and jumped, the tips of her fingers barely grazing the spine of the book she assumed was the one she was looking for. She huffed, crossing her hands on her chest and looking around the room for some stool or a ladder.

"Wednesday, good evening. Up to some late night reading?"

Wednesday looked up at the entrance of the library to see (Y/n) going down the stairs, a smirk on her toothy lips as she observed the scene in front of her.

"Yes, I am, actually."

"Which one do you need? I'll get it for you."

Wednesday pouted for a few seconds, then pointed at the top shelf where the dark - purple book was sitting, taunting her.

The demon raised her hand to reach for the book, "Honestly, how are you so tiny?"

"(Y/n), I'm at a perfect height for breaking your kneecaps. I won't hesitate."

"Mhm, I'm sure you won't," grabbing the book, the taller girl took it off the shelf, but didn't hurry to hand it over to Wednesday, "Now, what's the magic word?"

"I don't have time for -"

"Wrong, Addams. Try again." The oni grinned, clearly enjoying herself.

Wednesday glared at the girl, her gaze murderous, but after a few moments she complied.

"Would you give me the book, (Y/n). Please."

"There, was that so hard?" (Y/n) pressed the book into the ravenette's hands, and the shorter girl quickly looked over the cover, exasperated when she realised it wasn't the one she was looking for, "Are you up to a research or something? Do you need an extra pair of hands, maybe?"

"Why would you want to help me?"

"Isn’t that what friends are for? And maybe it's the lack of anything better to do."

"You're such a slacker. I have no idea how you're still in this school," She put the book on the first shelf she could reach for, then turned around and headed for the exit, "Let's go."

The (h/c) - haired demon shook her head with a small smile before moving to follow the busy girl.

"I want to punch Xavier in the face," (Y/n) grumbled, her hands folded on her chest, a brush covered in yellow paint sticking in between her clawed fingers as she stared daggers at the pair of young people a few feet away from her.

"Huh? Why?" Enid looked up from the boat she was painting on, crouched on the ground, confused at her friend's sudden violent statement.

"Because he's a creep and he has a stupid face with that pitiful look of his." The oni muttered, furrowing her brows as she watched the young man bother Wednesday, the ravenette's expression and body language doing little to tell whether she was irritated by his presence, which pissed (Y/n) off even more.

Enid followed her gaze and smirked when she realised what the source of the demon's sour mood was, "If you think he's giving her a hard time, why don't you come over and talk to him?"

"I'm pretty sure Wednesday isn't the type to be sly and subtle when someone's vexing her." The oni huffed in reply.

"Well, doesn't that mean that... On second thought, I shouldn't be the one to judge the situation," the werewolf quickly stopped herself, noticing (Y/n)'s scowl now directed at her, turning away to continue painting the boat nervously.

The (h/c) - haired girl sighed, "You're right, actually. Maybe that means she doesn't mind his company. Or maybe she doesn't want to kill a guy in broad daylight," the brush the demon was holding finally snapped under the pressure of her grip, and she gnashed her teeth, seething, "I could."

"That's the third brush today, (Y/n)," Yoko chided from Enid's side, clearly tired of the oni's behavior.

"Sorry," (Y/n) turned her gaze away from the scene she was watching, her eyes like that of a kicked puppy's as she sat on her knees next to the vampire, taking a new brush from her outstretched hand, "Thanks."

Yoko hummed and resumed painting, "You should really talk to her, you know. Before it's too late and she's snatched from under your nose."

"Yoko's right. You jealously watching her like a hawk won't do either of you good. It's kinda weird that Wednesday herself hasn't noticed the heart-eyes you constantly have whenever she's around."

The demon grunted, trying to busy herself with lining out a yellow cat eye on the side of the boat.

"Seriously, (Y/n). Tell her. What's the worst that could happen? You don't seem like the type to be afraid of rejection," Enid grinned at her friend, winking, "Personally, I'm rooting for you. I’m sure you can make my roomie happy, well, to an extent, you know.”

Except the demon was afraid of rejection her whole life. And considering Wednesday wasn't the type to give any signals, (Y/n) wasn't sure where she and the gloomy girl stood.

She tolerated her presence, at least. That was a start. But she seemed to tolerate Xavier’s, too. God, what an enigma Wednesday Addams was.

The Rave'N Dance was at its peak. The music was loud, and most of the students had long since hit the dance floor, enjoying their time in groups and pairs.

Wednesday herself was feeling rather out of breath, the collar of her black vintage dress clinging to her neck uncomfortably as she stepped into a closed-off room to escape the noise of the party for a bit.

She was alone as she sat down on one of the couches, a sigh of relief escaping her mouth as she felt the pressure leave her sore feet.

Well, despite the abruptness of it all, Wednesday would lie if she said she wasn't having at least a bit of fun.

“Hey.”

Wednesday looked up to see (Y/n) come into the room, moving the blinds out of her way carefully. She smiled at the smaller girl, and the ravenette realised she was seeing the oni for the first time that evening.

The demon was wearing a black and white haori over a crisp white high-collared blouse paired with black hakama pants, and the combination of formal wear in different styles made the girl look very dapper. She had winged eyeliner on her face, (f/c) eyeshadow framing her lids gorgeously, and her lipstick was smudged on her canines just a bit, no doubt from all the talking and drinking the oni had done throughout the evening.

(Y/n) walked over to take a sit next to the smaller girl, letting her back slump over the couch with a grunt.

“Out of your notorious inhumane stamina already?” Wednesday asked teasingly.

“Uh-huh. Thought the girls were gonna dance me to death. I needed a breather,” the oni opened her eyes and straightened in her seat, looking around the small closed-off space, “Where’s your date?”

“You could say I needed a breather too. These shoes are killing me, and not in an enjoyable way.”

The demon hummed, her eyes moving from Wednesday’s legs up her face. Their gazes met, and (Y/n)’s didn’t falter.

“You look deadly beautiful yourself, Wednesday. Very much so.” She muttered quietly with gentle admiration, and Wednesday felt her stomach flip.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from you this whole evening, was what the demon wanted to say. I wish I was the one to share the dance with you, wish I could tell you how much I adore you, and how badly I want to hold you close, to feel your touch. Me, not anyone else.

The girl averted her gaze again, moving to stand up, "Gotta go before they think I've ditched them. No patience with the vampires. Ironic, huh?" She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes, and went to the exit, looking back at Wednesday one last time.

"Have a good night, Addams."

"Is there something on your mind? You've been very quiet for the past hour, I've gotten a lot done. It's getting unnerving."

(Y/n) smiled slightly, huffing out a laugh through her nose, her elbows resting on the stone railing of the balcony as she turned her head to look at the ravenette, "Nothing much. Just... things, I guess."

"Are they bothering you?"

Never. When I'm thinking of you, it's never a bother.

"I think I'm in love with you, Wednesday."

For the first time ever, (Y/n) saw the gloomy girl get caught off guard. Her eyes were wide open, but she didn't say anything. Her gaze traveled up to the face of the demon girl, and she stared at her, unblinking, like a hunting cat expecting a sudden attack.

"You'll get over it."

"You think so?" (Y/n) chuckled, looking out at the dark scenery in front of her, "I never thought I'd get to say that you might be wrong."

It was silent between them again. Wednesday seemed to be lost in thought as she observed the side profile of the taller girl, noting all her features lit by the dim moonlight.

"When have you started to feel this way?" She asked at last, as if a doctor examining her sick patient.

"A while ago, I guess."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was afraid of... how you'd react. And I didn't want to overwhelm you. You seem to have a different type of obsession going on." (Y/n) looked at Wednesday, eyes gleaming with honesty.

"I hate you." Wednesday deadpanned, unconsciously moving closer to the taller girl.

"Really? Why?"

"I hate the way you make me feel. Your mere presence is what constantly overwhelms me."

Barely any inches were left between them as their gazes met, electicity going through the sudden connection.

"Do you want to stop feeling this way?" The oni whispered, barely audible through her heart thumping in her ears.

"No."

(Y/n) froze, and Wednesday leaned forward on her tip toes to meet her, pressing her plush lips against the demon's. The kiss was soft and warm, and (Y/n)’s stomach was instantly swarmed with butterflies, the heaviness leaving her shoulders. She felt the hand of the smaller girl move closer to hers, and Wednesday pressed a finger on top of her palm gently, before the cold touch engulfed the whole hand of the oni as their fingers entwined.

“It’s been an hour already, Wednesday.”

“I know.”

“It’s getting late. We should get to bed.”

“Do as you wish, (Y/n). I’m not finished yet. Good night.”

The demon groaned at the words, standing up from the bed to walk over to the smaller female where she was typing away, the clicking sounds almost enough to lull (Y/n) to sleep. But she couldn’t, not without the presence of the other girl.

Draping herself over Wednesday’s shoulders, she watched the typerwriter print the letters at a steady pace, Wednesday’s brows furrowed in focus.

“Come on,” the oni whined quietly, “This can wait until tomorrow. You have to rest.”

“(Y/n), I’ll suplex you out the window if you don’t stop bugging me.”

(Y/n) sighed, burying her face in the smaller girl’s shoulder, “You’re so mean. You know I can’t sleep without you.”

The typing paused, and Wendesday turned to face the demon who was still mumbling something into the fabric of her sweater, blunt tusks scratching at the clothed shoulder as her mouth moved. The shorter girl exhaled tiredly before turning back to the typewriter, finishing her last sentence and taking the paper out before putting it into a neat stack next to the device. Then she turned to (Y/n) again to press a light kiss on top of her head.

“Fine, you big baby. Let’s go to bed.”

Raising her head, the demon smiled, straightening her back and taking Wednesday by the hand, pulling her up and to the bed they shared now that (Y/n) was allowed to sleep next to Wednesday instead of the hardwood floor. It was a long process, but the ravenette was able to get used to the presence of the other girl, comfortable enough to push her boundaries to an extent.

“Want me to do your hair?”

Wednesday nodded, and (Y/n) sat down on the bed, taking a black brush from the nightstand before motioning for the smaller girl to sit between her legs. When they were situated comfortably, the demon started to unbraid Wednesday’s dark hair, careful not to tangle her claws in the tresses, before brushing it gently. Wednesday closed her eyes at the feeling of the oni’s hands in her hair, goosebumps raising up her neck as she leaned back into the bigger girl’s body.

This was nice. She could get used to this.

Skipping was never Wednesday's style. She was a responsible student, dutifully attending every single class and never missing on her extracurricular activities. Not like she'd ever want to, anyway. She liked spending time with the bees, even if the girl herself would never admit that.

So what was Wednesday doing, away from her class during school time, hidden inside a barely lit broom closet as she pressed her mouth against the resident demon's, kissing her feverishly and licking over her tusks?

Oh, if only her parents could see her right now. They'd probably be ecstatic.

"Fuck, Wednesday," (Y/n) sighed against the smaller girl's mouth, hands on her waist as she pressed the ravenette closer to herself, wanting to leave no space in between them.

"Make no sound," Wednesday scolded the (h/c) - haired girl, biting at her lower lip and sliding down to place a chaste kiss along her jawline, "We don't want to get caught, now do we?"

The only response she got was a quiet whine, and she smiled against (Y/n)'s neck, pressing a few kisses there, right by the jugular, and feeling her pulse quicken under the cold touch, the demon's clawed fingers digging sharply into her hips.

The ravenette moved away, and the taller girl breathed in sharp sighs through her mouth, skin tingling and positively on fire.

Wednesday kissed her again, just for the lovesick look in her eyes.

"I'm afraid we have to go before someone notices our absence and thinks I've kidnapped you to torture for fun."

The oni girl huffed, running her hand through her (h/c) hair both to fix it and to relieve the tension that was clearly still there, her other hand resting on Wednesday's waist, rubbing her thumb against the cloth of her uniform affectionately.

"You're such a tease," she sighed, lowering her face a bit, slitted eyes glowing and hopeful, "One last time?"

Wednesday pressed her palm against (Y/n)'s cheek and got on her tip toes to gently kiss the other, lingering there before pulling away completely, leaving a small but noticeable mark of her dark lipstick color.

"There. Let's go."

The oni grinned, cheeks still red, and Wednesday couldn't fight the warm feeling bubbling in her stomach at the way the taller girl looked at her.

"Let's hope Ms. Thornhill doesn't get too mad," (Y/n) chuckled, moving to open the door of the closet, letting some bright light in through a small slit. Then she closed it with a sharp twist of her arm, eyes wide and panicked.

"Wednesday, we've skipped the whole period here."

"And?" The ravenette deadpanned.

"The class is over!"

"And?"

"What do you think! The halls are filled with people right now. There's no way in hell we're getting out of here unnoticed."

"Why would we need to do that?"

The demon girl tore her gaze away from the door, looking down at Wednesday as if she was mad, making the ravenette roll her eyes.

"You're stupid. Come on."

Grabbing (Y/n)'s hand, she opened the door and led the girl forward, tugging when she felt resistance and heard the oni groan.

"I can't believe you sometimes," (Y/n) muttered, embarrassed.

"For someone who seems to always act so cocky and aloof, you care too much about what others think. Besides," she turned around to glance at the frustrated girl, a small smirk on her lips, "the color looks good on you."

(Y/n) didn't answer, too busy avoiding the amused stares of her fellow students passing by.

Oh, they were certainly not going to let her live.

[thesimpire]

“Couple’s Spat,” [multi]

Prompt: what the monster trio does after an argument with their s/o.

Luffy:

• genuine fights between the two of you are very rare. Though Luffy’s antics can lean on the side of obnoxious, it is difficult to be truly angry or annoyed at him.

• on the rare occasions that the two of you do get caught up in a heated verbal altercation, it’s due to disagreement over Luffy’s stubbornness; particularly if he’s made a choice that you disagree with and feel he shouldn’t have made.

• Luffy has no filter when it comes to what he says, and his words can actually border on hurtful and insensitive. This is a common occurrence when the two of you argue, and it never fails to have you storming off wiping away tears with your hands.

• Luffy, though normally optimistic and exuberant, is passionate to a fault, and therefore he feels anger very deeply. He’ll be quite angry at you, wondering why you even felt the need to question him (you trust him, right?) and it will take him some time to cool off.

• when Luffy finally cools off and decides to patch things up, it’s in a very Luffy way.

• sometimes he will directly apologize, but other times he will show regret through actions. Things that most people would find insignificant, such as risking a kick to the leg just to sneak heaps of your favorite snack/food out to you in apology, actually mean the world to you, because you know the depth of the gesture when it comes from Luffy. And the Luffy cuddles as the two of you share said stolen treat are the warmest you’d ever felt.

Zoro:

• there are certain aspects to Zoro’s personality that would pretty clearly allow for easy arguments; namely, his aversion to feelings and his difficulty communicating them.

• this is what a majority of your fights generally break out over. Zoro doesn’t quite understand your need for affection and security, or your insistence for clear communication of emotions and feelings and needs.

• Zoro doesn’t see the point; he thinks the two of you will be fine without being too vulnerable with one another — and that the two of you should just be happy and love one another for what you two are and what you already give to the other.

• you clearly disagree with this, and some pretty harsh words can be spat at one another as a result. However, usually at about the half way point of the altercation, Zoro realizes that the fighting is pointless. He loses the will to continue with it, and will stalk off right in the middle of your side. It’s infuriating, and more times than not, you storm off too, leaving many things unsaid and issues unresolved.

• the waiting period between you and Zoro is usually drastic — a day at least to three days at most. During that time, you’ll be snappy with each other, always quipping and biting at one another, up until the point you finally decide to drop the act and just make up.

• it’s an even fifty-fifty on who approaches who for the make up, but when Zoro does it, he’s surprisingly tender and sweet. He waits for the moment that the two of you can have a bubble of privacy, and he will wrap his arms around you and pull you snug into his chest, without so much as a word.

• Zoro doesn’t need to use his words, though. Everything he wants to say is clearly vocalized through his touches, his arms around you and his lips on your head, the soft strokes through your hair and the way his arm will tighten ever so slightly around your waist, as if he was suddenly bitten with the fear that you would disappear.

Sanji:

• Sanji is a lover, not a fighter; at least when it comes to his s/o.

• Sanji is adoring and attentive, to a point that he’s sometimes more in tune with what you’re feeling than even you yourself, and he knows how to respond in kind.

• you’re tired? Sanji will quite literally tuck you into bed, even going as far as clambering in with you and holding you in his arms so that you have no choice but to fall asleep and get rest.

• you’re feeling blue? Sanji will surprise you with most delicious sweet heralding the most intricate aesthetic, and then he will hand feed it to you until your mood has lifted.

• you’re feeling angry? Sanji will coax you to vent to him until everything is melted off your chest, even if it’s just over a bunch of small things that you figured he shouldn’t care too much about.

• the two of you have a bond that’s very strong, full of love and adoration and understanding, and therefore, your relationship is generally very fluid and and smooth.

• but it’s not always rainbows and sunshine, because Sanji has a tendency to lay the charm on nearly every woman he meets. You’d grown quite used to him doing so to Nami, understanding that his affections ran only as deep as friendship, but when you’d see sanji striking up the charm with another woman, you can’t help but feel insecure.

• generally, you won’t immediately bring this up to Sanji; but he will sense it, just like always. If you’re with others, he will pull you away to a private corner to ask if you’re okay, and if he happens to sense it when you’re already alone, he’ll do the same thing, albeit with touches that are slightly more intimate than the ones he uses in public.

• when you explain to Sanji exactly what has you upset, he’s immediately gathering you in his arms and rattling off all the things he loves about you. He will make sure that every bit of insecurity you’re feeling is melted away. With Sanji, no fight truly ensues, because there’s no need for one — he made you feel this way, and even if it wasn’t intentional, he will always regret doing so, and he does everything in his power to make it up to you.

A/n: if you enjoyed these little headcanons, please consider liking/reblogging/commenting. Reader interaction is the biggest blessing to a writer, and it’s so appreciated <33 thank you all!

[shadowqueenjude]

Azriel is jealous of Lucien

Azriel is 100% jealous of Lucien and here is, in my opinion, why: 1. There's the obvious factor: he has a mate and Azriel does not (or so he thinks). He's jealous of Rhysand and Cassian for this but he still manages to be happy for them because they're his closest friends. But he perceives Lucien as this "outsider," yet he got a mate while Azriel did not. 2. Truthfully? Lucien and Azriel have many similarities, particularly when you consider their backstories. Both grew up in abusive households and have difficulty getting over females that are not their mates despite their conviction that they are (Jesminda and Mor). Both feel like outsiders, although it's wild that Azriel feels that way considering he has Rhys and Cass but whatever. They even both have scars as a result of unbearable cruelty. But while Azriel came out of that situation with unresolved anger issues and a tendency towards violence (as demonstrated during the High Lord's meeting) and a darkness to him, Lucien came out of that situation a gentleman, still managing to be kind and with an incredible amount of self-restraint and lightness to him (and typically opting for nonviolence). Azriel sees himself as a bad person and he resents the fact that Lucien still maintains himself as a good person despite it all. 3. Lucien was easily accepted as a part of the group as his true self (or that's what Azriel sees) while Azriel still feels like he can't be his true self. He admitted in the bonus chapter that he only lets Rhys see the full extent of his anger because Rhysand is the only one who can match it. So, he doesn't even show his full anger to Cassian or Feyre. And look at them during the solstice in ACOSF: Rhys sprawled in an armchair, and Cassian occupied a second armchair with Lucien leaning against it, arguing with them about something that seemed related to a sporting event.

vs Azriel: Azriel lingered near the door, quiet enough that when Feyre and Mor began talking about some of her paintings, Nesta went over to him.

Lucien, with his ability to talk with people, worked his magic on Rhysand and Cassian easily. Lucien, despite having to deal with the strain of the mating bond, is still managing to converse with them while their own best friend of centuries cannot bear the scent of Lucien's bond, even though the person most affected by it isn't him. 4. Azriel feels replaced by Lucien. He is the Inner Circle's spy, mainly, but he isn't good for much else if we're being honest. Lucien, on the other hand, can ALSO spy. Evidence: Lucien took a steadying breath, and I wondered—wondered if being emissary also meant being spymaster.

Apart from that, he has exceptional abilities with people. He was instantly seen working his magic when the IC was having difficulty working out a time and place for the High Lord meeting. He helped create the antidote for the faebane as well. Then there's Azriel's other use: being a warrior. Lucien is a warrior too. And he is so powerful that he was able to venture into the continent by himself where even Rhysand with all his power feared to tread and come back with a large army which was essential for their victory. And post-war, he is the one keeping Prythian together, along with his beloved older brother Eris. He had to give Lucien credit: the male was somehow able to move between his three roles—an emissary for the Night Court, ally to Jurian and Vassa, and liaison to Tamlin—and still dress immaculately. Then there is this from Azriel: “No. But we need to summon Lucien,” Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn’t like it one bit. Elriels take this to be about Elain, but I actually believe this is further evidence of his complete and utter jealousy. It pains him to admit that the IC needs Lucien even more than they already did. With Lucien's increased role, Azriel's role further diminishes in Az's eyes. So when Azriel says he thinks "Lucien will never be good enough for her?" He is projecting his own feelings onto Lucien. Deep down he knows that he is completely and utterly wrong for Elain and that Lucien is 100% right for her. When he says that he'd "Defeat Lucien with little effort?" In his mind, it's a chance to regain some of his worth. He perceives that his only value to the IC is his spying and warrior abilities. He wants to prove that Lucien can't replace him because Azriel is better at these things. But in reality, he can't possibly believe he'd defeat the male who dominated Cassian with one word with little effort. Because even if he wasn't there for that moment, he knows Lucien survived the continent. He knows everything Lucien has been through and has definitely sparred with the guy. And we know Rhys agreed with him to keep him from getting any angrier or more frustrated. The beef between Azriel and Lucien is soooo one-sided. Lucien thinks of him as a decent dude! These two could be best friends if Azriel got over his dumb jealousy. But I don't care; I'm a Lucien stan for life and you'd better start treating my man right. Going through trauma is NOT an excuse to choke people or challenge them to blood duels. Lucien has gone through plenty and he hasn't even lashed out at anyone, even though he'd be completely valid for doing so. Learn from Lulu, Az.

[sunsvrs]

Break up scenarios with Enhypen

These scenarios contain sensitive topics related to trust and betrayal within a relationship.

TW: Infidelity, emotion distress, mental health struggles relationship breakdown, emotional conflict, anger, public humiliation, perfectionism, commitment issues.

This kinda took me a while so i hope you like it.

Heeseung

It’s a stormy evening, and the wind howls outside, shaking the windows of your small apartment. You sit alone on the couch, surrounded by the dim light of a single lamp. The air feels heavy with unresolved tension. “Heeseung, we need to talk. It feels like you’re slipping away from me. I’m here alone most of the time.” He finally sits beside you, his face a mix of exhaustion and guilt. He avoids eye contact as he speaks. “I’ve been so consumed by work... I didn’t realize how far I was drifting.” Just as you begin to voice your frustration, your phone buzzes with a notification. It’s a message from Heeseung’s phone left on the coffee table, showing a text from an unknown number that reads, “Can’t wait to see you again, miss you.”

Your heart sinks. “Who is this?” you ask, holding up the phone. “It’s not what it looks like. I... I was just... I don’t know what to say.”

The storm outside mirrors the chaos within. The finality of Heeseung’s betrayal hits hard as you leave, the door slamming shut behind you. Heeseung’s sobs are swallowed by the storm’s roar, a stark reminder of his broken promises.

Jay

It’s late at night, and the apartment is shrouded in darkness, only lit by the faint glow of a bedside lamp. Jay sits on the edge of the bed, his face buried in his hands. The silence is punctuated only by his quiet, anguished sobs. “Jay, what’s happening? I see you’re struggling, but you’re pushing me away.” His voice is muffled as he speaks through his tears. “I’m battling so many demons, and I’m scared... scared that I’m dragging you down.”

Just then, you notice a small envelope on the nightstand addressed to someone else. It’s a letter confessing his struggle with his feelings and his fear of being a burden, but it also hints at an affair he’s been having. Your heart races as you read a line that says, “I can’t keep pretending everything is okay.”

“Is this what you’ve been hiding? Did you think cheating was the answer?!” He looks up, horror and regret in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like this. I just didn’t know how to cope.“ The room feels colder as you process his betrayal. With a broken heart, you walk away, leaving Jay alone with his regret and the darkened room’s echoes of your departing footsteps.

Jake

The living room is bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun, but the atmosphere feels tense and charged. Jake sits on the couch, his face etched with a mixture of pain and resignation. The air between you is thick with unsaid words. “I’ve been hiding something from you. I’m struggling, and I don’t think I can do this anymore... not like this.” “We can work through this together. Let me help you,” you plead, but Jake’s expression remains troubled. “I’ve been seeing someone else. I thought it would help me escape my feelings, but it only made things worse. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix this.”

Your heart shatters at his confession. “So, you chose to betray me instead of facing your problems? I can’t believe this.” The warmth of the setting sun does little to comfort you as you prepare to leave. Jake’s face is a mask of regret and sorrow, his pleas falling on deaf ears as you walk out, the door closing with a finality that echoes his heartbreak.

Sunghoon

The late afternoon sun casts a warm but deceptive glow over the living room. The room feels tense, as if the air itself is charged with unresolved issues. Sunghoon sits on the couch, his expression a mix of frustration and agitation. You stand nearby, struggling with the weight of your discovery. “Sunghoon, we need to talk. I’ve noticed you’ve been distant, and now I get messages like this on my phone.” You hold up your phone, displaying a text that reads, ‘I miss you. Can’t wait to see you again soon.’ Sunghoon’s face darkens, anger flashing in his eyes as he stands up abruptly. “Seriously? You’re going to accuse me without even hearing me out?”

“I’m not accusing you without reason. How can you explain this? Who is this person, and why are they sending you messages like this?”

Sunghoon’s anger rises, his voice sharp and defensive. “You think you know everything, don’t you? I’ve been dealing with a lot, and instead of listening, you’re jumping to conclusions!” “This isn’t about me jumping to conclusions. It’s about the fact that you’ve been seeing someone else behind my back. How do you expect me to react?”

His anger turns to shouting as he paces the room. “You don’t understand what it’s like! I made mistakes, yes, but it’s not all black and white. You think you’re perfect, but you don’t know the full story!” “I don’t need to know the full story to understand that you’ve betrayed my trust. I’m trying to make sense of what’s happened and how you could be so cruel.” Both voices beginning to rise “Cruel? You think I’m cruel?! You’re the one making a scene without knowing anything. I’m tired of your accusations and your expectations. I made mistakes, but this is how you respond?” The warm light of the afternoon sun now feels harsh and mocking as Sunghoon’s anger fills the room. The atmosphere is charged with frustration and bitterness, creating a chasm between you. “I can’t stay here and deal with this. I need to get away from this toxic situation and figure out where to go from here.” As you turn to leave, Sunghoon’s anger is palpable. He watches you with a mixture of rage and frustration, his face flushed and eyes blazing. The door slams behind you, leaving Sunghoon alone in the harsh light of the setting sun, his anger echoing in the empty room. The once-warm light now feels like a stark reminder of the bitterness and disillusionment of your shattered relationship.

Sunoo

The room is softly lit by a bedside lamp, casting a gentle glow over the space. Sunoo sits on the edge of the bed, his posture slumped and his face hidden in his hands. The atmosphere is heavy, filled with the weight of unspoken pain. “Sun, I can see that you’re struggling, but you’re shutting me out. What’s going on?” He lifts his head, revealing tear-streaked cheeks. “I’ve been feeling lost and overwhelmed. There’s been so much I haven’t told you. I’m scared that I’m not the person you think I am anymore.”

As you listen, you discover a series of personal letters and journal entries where Sunoo has been candidly documenting his fears and struggles, including a recent scandal involving leaked videos that left him deeply affected. You realize how much he’s been carrying alone. ”Sun, I had no idea how much you’ve been dealing with. You don’t have to face this alone. We can work through this together.” His eyes widen with relief as he listens to your supportive words. “You really mean that? I’ve been so afraid of pushing you away. I didn’t know how to share this with you.” The room, once filled with despair, now feels like a sanctuary of hope and renewal. You both smile, finding solace in each other's presence and the strength of your bond. As you hold each other, it becomes clear that, despite the challenges, your relationship has the potential to grow stronger.

(I couldn't bring myself to break up with him ;-;)

Jungwon

The living room is dimly lit, with shadows flickering as the city lights cast an orange hue through the windows. Jungwon sits by the window, his shoulders hunched and his gaze distant. The atmosphere feels heavy, as if the room is suffused with the weight of his unspoken struggles. “Jungwon, I can't keep doing this. You’re always so distant, and it feels like I’m the only one fighting for us.” He turns to face you, his eyes betraying deep exhaustion and guilt. “I’ve been trying so hard to be perfect, but it’s breaking me apart. I didn’t realize how much I was failing us.”

As you speak, you find a hidden folder in his desk, containing detailed notes and photographs of his relentless pursuit of perfection. Among them, there’s a shocking revelation—evidence of secret meetings with a performance coach and a therapist. It’s clear he’s been hiding not just his struggles but an entire alternate life focused on an unattainable ideal. “Is this what you’ve been hiding? The pressure you’re under is tearing us apart.” Tears stream down his face as he tries to explain. “I thought if I could be perfect, everything would be okay. I didn’t want you to see me like this, but now I see that I’ve lost myself—and you.” The room feels colder, the shadows growing longer as the weight of his admission settles between you. You leave, the dim light outside contrasting sharply with the stark reality of Jungwon’s struggle, leaving him alone with his regrets and broken dreams.

Ni-Ki

The room is bathed in the soft light of the setting sun, creating a melancholic atmosphere. Ni-ki sits on the edge of the bed, his face troubled as he gazes out the window. You stand across from him, your heart heavy with the realization of your differing paths. “Ni-Ki, I feel like we’re moving in different directions. I’m ready for a serious commitment, but you seem so unsure.” He looks up, his face a mix of fear and regret. “I’m still figuring out who I am. I didn’t mean for things to get this complicated. I don’t want to hold you back.”

As the conversation unfolds, you reveal that you’ve been offered a job abroad, adding to the complexity of your situation. “This opportunity means a lot to me, and I can’t stay if we’re not on the same page.” He tried to hide his tearstained face. “I know. I’m just not ready for the kind of commitment you need.” The setting sun casts a warm yet sorrowful glow as you come to terms with the need to part ways. Ni-Ki watches you leave, the tears in his eyes a reflection of the sadness of your separation.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Seven Fishes and The Timer Part One

Writing this took me a while, and I go back to it occasionally because it's such a chaotic episode. I've listened to so many timers ringing that now I question if it's real. So, this post is heavy on scene analysis. If you like this type of shit, read on and enjoy.

Another note: This post is really dedicated to my sydcarmy folks. Studying this episode confirmed how detailed Storer, Calo, and Senior are in making this show. They are genuinely thoughtful creators, so learning this episode affirms that we're not imagining Syd & Carmy's relationship being the center of this story. For time plays a theme in The Bear.

Time serves a particular purpose in this episode; we can't escape the ringing in the foreground; it's a humming of sorts, but when it sounds off loud and clearly, it becomes its own character in The Berzatto Home. The ring is loud and clear only with dialogue and meaningful action. This dialogue and action lead us to unresolved issues that later hit a nerve at the table and the rest of the season- time guides us when there's an emotional shift in the story.

I'll consider this added pressure of time as the beats of the episode.

What are beats?

A story beat is a shift in the narrative. Story beats can be emotional turns, incidents or events, actions, reactions, or realizations. They can even be slight shifts in narrative tone or a character's emotional arc. Essentially, beats are small moments that move the story forward.

An important note for Fishes: We only get a break from the timer during moments that establish the relationship between two characters.

Let's take a look at the timer:

1. "It's fucking Christmas, why would you say you didn't wanna come back?" "Whatever. Okay." TIMER

The emotional shift: Resentment. This is the second moment of tension between Mikey and Carmy, along with a realization of Carmy's truth that he wants to keep his distance from his family. It's a moment of hurt from Mikey. This exchange of dialogue is the emotional shift of the story, and time is giving us a break from Mike and Carmy's tension.

2. Donna Calls Richie in the kitchen TIMER . A beat change where Richie enters the kitchen- time tells us it's a shift in the scene and an introduction to Tiffany and Richie's relationship.

3. An Action Beat: TIMER tells us it's an unresolved issue and It's a break (for now) of viewers having to pay attention to Tiffany and Richie- we'll learn more later.

The TIMER also serves a purpose as it guides us to Natalie.

4. Natalie pours out the alcohol as the TIMER goes off. This is also considered an action beat, moving the story forward as we pay attention to Natalie's role in the family.

5. Uncle Lee & Move the Fucking Pot:

We hear the timer distinctly in this scene twice. One is when Lee is introduced to the story, and the second time, we listen to it loud and clearly at the start of Donna demanding Carmy move the pot; this is a change in the story as Donna's first pile-up occurs. This scene tells us two things: One, that Lee will play a vital role in the episode and The Berzatto family, and two, we're watching just how bad Donna's anger could get.

The timer is not just adding to the chaos in Fishes; it's guiding us through the story.

This is it for part one- take a look at part two.

[aesthetic-gamersnail]

Are Branch's brothers ever gonna ask why he is not so vibrant with color anymore? Or is it gonna be revealed by Branch in a big emotional show-off where he will drop all of his issues and all the things he had to go through all these years while they were not around on them? Will they all maybe scream at each other in anger because of their unresolved issues with each other?

After the second movie I wholeheartedly believe there is gonna be a big fight in the new movie too and it ain't gonna be pretty with all of them having so many problems with each other.

[daisycassy]

I did it, I made the playlist! Also known as the list of Leonard Cohen's songs that make me go feral with Devil's minion feelings.

List of all songs along with my thoughts under the cut bellow

The Future - Give me absolute control/Over every living soul/And lie beside me, baby/That's an order/Give me crack and anal sex....

This whole song is extremely "Daniel and Armand explore their old and new dynamic after years apart" coded, with some old bitter investigative journalist Daniel (my beloved) sprinkled in

Darkness - I caught the darkness/Drinking from your cup/I said: Is this contagious?/You said: Just drink it up...

This is obviously about old Daniel being turned, what do you mean it is not? Look at it!

First we take Manhattan - Ah, you loved me as a loser, but now you're worried that I just might win/You know the way to stop me, but you don't have the discipline/How many nights I prayed for this, to let my work begin...

Vampire power couple? Vampire Daniel chasing his maker while being extremely capable fledling? Armand dreaming of them as vampire power couple in the 80s despite being terrified of turning Daniel? Yes all of those

Avalanche - You who wish to conquer pain/You must learn what makes me kind/The crumbs of love that you offer me/They're the crumbs I've left behind...

The pain, the tragedy of forgotten love then remebered and the reality of grapling with those emotions and memories. Also with the spice of the terror of these two

I'm your man - If you want a lover/I'll do anything you ask me to/And if you want another kind of love/I'll wear a mask for you/If you want a partner, take my hand, or/If you want to strike me down in anger/Here I stand/I'm your man...

Is this about Armand and his unresolved issues and tendency to mould himself into whatever he thinks his lovers need and want? Is this about Daniel wanting to be everything that Armand wants and needs? Is this about them being perfect for each other? Or all of the above? Who's to say

Lover Lover Lover - This one is so so perfect for Armand's identity issues, I feel like I want to copy the whole lyrics here

Master song - Devil's minion version 1, 70s and 80s. But also could make an argument for this to be about Armand and his feelings for Marius (I am his n.1 hater)

It seemed the better way - Sounded like the truth/But it's not the truth today/I better hold my tongue/I better take my place/Lift this glass of blood/Try to say the grace/...

Daniel who was turned by Armand to save him from dying, grapling with his newly regained memories, bitterness and anger at being turned against his will now, and abandoned in the past, but still loving Armand

Nevermind - Never mind/I had to leave my life behind/The story's told/With facts and lies/You own the world so never mind/...

Once again Devil's minion 2, old Daniel after getting turned

Almost like the Blues - But I've had the invitation/that a sinner can't refuse/It's almost like salvation/It's almost like the blues...

Daniel spending his life as a journalist, exposing lies and injustice and yet choosing to become the evil that is to be a vampire

My Oh My - Wasn't hard to love you/Didn't have to try/Held you for a little while...

Both of them. Because my favourite thing about this ship is that despite evrything the loving comes easily to them. But love on its own doesn't make relationships easy.

Leaving the table - If I ever loved you, oh no, no/It's a crying shame/If I ever loved you/If I knew your name...

Old Daniel grappling with the newly gained memories of loving Armand and what it means. At the same time not regretting becoming vampire at all. I don't need a reason/For what I becameI've got these excuses/They're tired and lame/I don't need a pardon...

It's Torn - You smile at your suffering, the sweetest reprieve/Why did you leave us? Why did you leave?...

Daniel remembering loving Armand, and the love coming back so so strong. The longing, the pining

Traveling light - I'm just a fool/A dreamer who/Forgot to dream/Of the me and you/Traveling light like/We used to do...

Vampire Daniel chasing his maker who turned him, gave him back the memories of their love and then disappeared.

Amen - Tell me again/We’re alone and I’m listening/I’m listening so hard that it hurts/Tell me again/When I’m clean and I’m sober/Tell me again/When I’ve seen through the horror/Tell me again/Tell me over and over/Tell me that you want me then...

Armand and Daniel during the 70s and 80s both not believing that the other genuinely loves them. The tragedy it leads them to. The endless pining

I can't forget - I said this can't be me/Must be my double/And I can't forget, I can't forget/I can't forget but I don't remember what...

Daniel left without his memories and yet remembering something, sometimes, in his dreams , in the corner of his eye. Forgetting and yet unable to forget.

Take this longing - Oh, take this longing from my tongue/Whatever useless things these hands have done/Let me see your beauty broken down...

As it says on the tin, take this longing from these men, they are sooo full of it.

[hey-kae]

a drabble about comforting charles after todays quali? 🤍🤍

a/n: i’m trying to get used to shorter writing so i really hope this isn’t too long. (also, pain💔)

It was hours later, almost midnight, when you heard him come back to your shared hotel room. He stayed at the track with the team, trying to understand, trying to help them understand on what was happening, but when you heard him sigh before he was even in sight, you immediately understood the issue was still unresolved.

You left the bed and went up to him, and in your eyes, he saw how much you actually cared.

“Charles…” You cautiously went up to him, not really knowing what mood he was in, angry or sad.

“Viens ici.” Come here. He pulled you to him, finding some comfort in having you in his hold.

You sighed and wrapped your arms around him, not knowing what to say. After all, all the words of comfort and assurance had been used, reused and abused.

“It’s okay, baby. It’ll be okay.” You tried, running your hand up and down his back, but in return he huffed and let go of you for a second.

“They still don’t know what’s wrong with the car, and…” you could hear a tinge of anger, “…they don’t wanna break the curfew. I’m sick of it all.” He tossed his things on a table and turned back towards you.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. My head is pounding with how many times i explained what was happening. Cette voiture de merde a son propre esprit!” This fucking car has a mind of its own! He sighed, stopping himself from getting worked up again.

“Hey, you can talk to me. I’ll listen.” You reassured when you noticed the resolve, just as his hand grabbed yours and he pulled you back into the bedroom.

“I know. J’en suis reconnaissant.” I appreciate that. He pulled off his shirt, preparing to take a shower, “But i don’t want to talk. I want to let it go for now. I’ll have enough of it to deal with tomorrow, le moment où j’ouvriras mes yeux.” …the moment i open my eyes.

Then, he disappeared into the bathroom and came back a few minutes later, showered and in comfortable clothes.

However, he still looked distraught and stuck in his own head so it was no surprise when he just climbed into bed and pulled the sheets over him without any other words.

You sighed, absolutely hating seeing him like this. After joining him in bed, you scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around him from behind, silently kissing his back, noticing the way the tension in his shoulders dropped when you did that.

“Charles…” You whispered his name.

He turned around immediately and buried his head in your neck, needing your comfort, so you resorted to the only way you knew how to comfort him when he would refuse to talk. You just brushed your hand through his hair and moved the other in comforting patterns on his back.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but let me know if there’s anything i can do.” You assured.

“Can you get me a new car by any chance?” He really tried to find a bit of humor in there but he couldn’t even force out a mere chuckle.

You sighed again, “I would if i could. I swear.”

“Je sais. J’en ai aucun doute.” I know. I don’t doubt it. He spoke in a defeated tone, “I love you.”

“I love you too. And i believe in you, no matter what.” You pushed back his hair and kissed his forehead.

“That’s the best thing you can do for me right now.” Charles replied in a whisper and pushed you onto your back, resting his head on your chest and allowing the feel of your arms around him to relax him until he fell asleep, still dreading tomorrow, but knowing your support would be his rock no matter what.

a/n: thank you for requesting something🤍

[ihearttish]

you’re making me high’

pairing: shuri udaku x black fem!reader ft; emerald haywood

word count: 6.5k

Synopsis: after you and shuri split, it is up to you to go about getting over the breakup. what would happen on a night out trying to do so?

warnings: ( 18+ smut) mean!shuri, adult language, fingering, thigh riding, (if you squint) strap!slinger!shuri, dirty talk, hair pulling, choking… (pure filth)

A/N; hii!! my names niya & wellll— i am quite VERY new to writing so cut me some slack please !🙏🏽 i do NOT mind constructive criticism, so feel free to give me tips or what not in the comments, i’ll only get better by you doing so :) anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this fic as much i as i enjoyed writing it! take care <3

tags: @abenomeiiii @playhousedistee @vampzxi @heejayy @amplifiedmoan @shurismainbxtch @inmyheadimobsessed @sapphicvqmpires @oceean ( comment to be added) 😭

dividers from @firefly-graphics

The club's neon lights flashed your eyes as you stepped inside, your heart racing with anticipation. you were out with your best friend Emerald, determined to forget about that ex-girlfriend of yours.

a break up in a relationship that could have been fixed is often the result of unresolved conflicts or communication issues.

in many cases, one or both partners may feel frustrated or misunderstood, leading to a breakdown in the relationship.

if these issues are not addressed, they can escalate and lead to feelings of resentment, anger, and ultimately, a breakup. exactly what has happened with you and shuri.

sometimes, it may be possible to fix a relationship that has ended, but it requires both partners to be willing to work on the issues that led to the breakup.

better communication skills, or making changes to the relationship dynamic. however, it's important to remember that not all relationships can or should be fixed. if issues that led to the breakup are too significant or if one or both partners are not willing to work on them, it may be best to move on. moving on wasn’t something you knew how to do in this case.

it simply hurt too much.

you and shuri were together for two and a half years. what didn’t seem to be something so temporary, was.

the arguments every day, the victimizing, going days without talking to each other, the list could go on. you just couldn’t take it anymore & apparently shuri was tired of it as well. they were all things that can go wrong in a relationship that you wanted to last forever (but did not), went wrong and boy did it hurt like hell when you finally sat down, had a drink, and realized it.

most days you would find yourself starting to miss shuri. most days you wish things would have went differently between the two of you. you wished that she wouldn’t have given up on you two so easily.

other days you think it was a good thing.

shuri was constantly running away from her feelings. it’s like communication was where she drew the line. it’s like it became a boundary, one of the things that can hold a relationship together, the woman you thought of as ‘perfect’ finally lacked something so important. disappointing.

the whole point of going out tonight was so you can finally get that damn girl off your mind. shuri was like your drug and you needed her. like an addiction, almost. you wanted nothing more but to hear from her again. you didn’t care what it took, you just wanted your girl back. however, you wanted her to come back on her own. even if she wasn’t good for you, after all. you missed your girl.

emerald pulled out a chair for you to sit on at the bar. you took a seat and removed your leather jacket.

this would be the first time being back outside for you. you were honestly a wreck. torn, even. emerald being your loving bestfriend who was always there as a shoulder for you to cry on about shuri and any other things that would stress you out, (mostly shuri) she promised to help you out tonight. she didn’t promise to make you forget and move on, but she did promise to help get your mind off it. maybe not forever, but at least for tonight. (failed miserably by the way)

“i can’t believe you were able to get me out here, em.” you say in an embarrassed tone. following up with a chuckle.

“i had to, i couldn’t stand seeing you like that, y/n” emerald’s lips quivered at her words. so damn sensitive. she was really overprotective over you and she never once failed to show it.

when things got rough with shuri, she’d always threaten to ‘beat her up’. you found that part funny, you loved em but judging the fact that shuri would mop the floor with her without question, for obvious reasons, you found it historical. cute, but historical. you gave your best friend a toothy smile and adjusted the way you sat in your seat.

“what you tryna drink, em?” you cock your head to the side, flipping your curly hair out if your face.

“you want me to be honest?” she smirks, looking down at you.

“i’d like that, yeah.” you giggle at her question. she drug her tongue across her lips. “another time.” she smirked once more.

“i’m fucking with the martini though, you?” she side eyed you. “i’ll have whatever you get.”

…

“y/n, you look beautiful tonight, by the way.”

“oh, so other nights i look gross?” you teased.

“what? that isn’t— that’s not what i meant! the hell?” babygirl was fighting for her LIFE. “i’m just fucking with you!”

you chuckled, causing emerald to give you the dirtiest look. “see girl, that’s yo problem now,” she smiled. “that shit gonna get you snatched up one day, watch.” if only you knew.

you and emerald’s night so far consisted of a bunch of drinking, laughing and conversations that didn’t correlate to shuri. this was something you really needed. although, somehow your mind continuously kept landing on shuri.

“dance with me, em.” you say sternly, standing up and holding out your hand, awaiting hers.

“shit, why not.” she threw back one final swig of her drink and sat the now empty glass down on the table before she takes you by the hand, following right behind you as you guided her through the crowd of bodies on the dance floor.

you and em were now at least two feet away from each other on the dance floor, as the loud music transitioned from a hasty song, into a slower song. you swayed your hips left and right. whining to the beat. you felt and knew you looked good tonight. your brown leather mini skirt began to raise up more and more.

as the melody picked up, you moved your hips in a gentle, smooth motion, almost as if you were floating on the dance floor.

your movements were graceful and fluid, as if you were in a trance, lost in the music. within every beat, your hips swayed back and forth, following the tempo of the song. your eyes were closed, and a small smile played on your lips as you moved to the music, lost in the moment.

🎶 “ ‘Cause I'm in love with that girl

So don't be mad at me

'Cause I'm in love with that girl

So don't be mad at me

So what, you're from the other side of the tracks

So what, the world don't think we match

I'll put it down like my love's on wax, guess what?

I'm in love with that girl

And she told me that she's in love with me “🎶

emerald had her glossy eyes on you as you moved your body to the music. she couldn’t take them off of your curvy figure.

she then took a step closer towards you and held her hand out, nearly wrapping around your waist.

“can i?” she asked, waiting for permission to touch you in such an intimate way.

“y- yes” you hesitate. you barely got to get the word out before both of emeralds hands were found now wrapped around your waist, she took your hand as she spun you around, your back now on her front. she began swaying her hips but you were standing like a damn statue. this took you by surprise.

“em, i don’t think-“

she lowered her head down to your ear, her curls brushed against your neck as you felt the warmth of her breath before she spoke. “i don’t bite y/n/n,” she promised.

“just vibe with me, yeah?” her grip tightened around your waist which caused you to let out a muffled moan. emerald noticed this.

still hesitant, you started moving your hips to the beat again. you and her were now moving in sync. the warmth of her felt nice, you felt very safe in her touch and you grew to hate every second of it.

you hated that you wanted to only be this way with shuri. you hated that your best friend, of many many years was making you feel the way your ex lover made you feel.

although you and shuri were broken up, waves of guilt flourished throughout you. shuri swore up and down this would happen. was she right? she said that if one day you and her were to part ways, you’d end up with emerald.

you denied it, of course. em was your best friend and you never thought you’d feel such things for her because of the friendship you shared. you were almost for certain that it was the same way for emerald.

she couldn’t possibly see you that way. so you thought. you two were only dancing. right? friends dance.

the song slowly transitioned into another and it was a faster tempo.

🎶 “ I'm looking for a girl like you

Well here I go

Now, now, now, who's the baby bobbing

Dipping, dodging, crying, sobbing?

Looking to be mobbing cause it's just clocking and robbing

Oh hi now, welcome to my town

The illy I town, you got kids lifting eyebrows

Every time you fly down, so lie down

Full maxing, seeing you laughing

With passion happening

Every action has a reaction” 🎶

you noticed em’s grip on you loosened so you stepped away from emerald and turned to face her. “emerald, i appreciate you for this you know?” you start. “and i really adore you for attempting to get my mind off things.” your body stiffens as you play with the charms on your bracelet, with the charms that were gifted to you from shuri.

“listen to me y/n.” she stepped closer to you and grabbed you by your arm, her grip was tighter than before, causing you to breathe out.

she pulled you closer to her. “i know you’re fresh out of an relationship that you wanted to go well so bad, i get it, okay? i do.” she looked down at your lips, licked hers and then looked back up into your eyes.

you were just inches away from touching each other’s foreheads. “but i can’t keep holding this in anymore,” your breathing picked up, scared for what she might say next.

“i have feelings for you, y/n/n. i’ve always have. it was extremely painful having you come to me about relationship problems because i knew— i know that if we were ever together, you wouldn’t have to go through any of that and i mean that,” her lip quivered at her own words.

“i mean it with everything in me.” she choked. it was silent for a minute. emeralds eyes roamed any sudden expression on your face, begging you to say something. anything.

“em, how long have you been feeling like this?” you finally spoke, now holding her hand. “ever since we graduated high school. i love the bond we share together, y/n/n. i’ve only ever felt this way about you. i guess i’m tired of you not seeing my feelings towards you, now.”

“i’m glad you told me, em.” your cheek was now wet from the tear you just let fall down your face. she brushed away the tears from your cheek with her thumb and pulled you into a hug. “sorry if i killed the vibe, you were just loosening up.” she chuckled. “no no, you’re okay, emmy, i promise it’s okay. let’s continue?” you reassured her.

she nodded her head and you separated yourselves about and began dancing once again. almost as if that didn’t just happen. what even did just happen?! your best friend confessed her feelings for you and you said—— nothing…

surprisingly, emerald didn’t say anything about you not telling her if the feelings she had for you were reciprocated or mutual. instead, she just had the biggest sheepish smile on her face as you and her danced with each other to the new song that was on. a much faster one.

you were still unsure if you truly felt that same about emerald, or if anything could possibly work out between you too because as of for right now, this very moment, all you could do was think about shuri. her touch, the way she’d look at you & how easy it was for her to have such a impact on you, shuri has such a hold on you and you can’t seem to get enough.

you turn towards emerald to start dancing on her once more when you wish your eyes deceived you when you came into view with the last thing you’d want to right now, this very moment. behind em, sitting down at one of the tables was your ex.

Shuri was seated across the room. your heart sank at the sight of her. to make matters even worse, she was seated with another girl, laughing and having a good time. at least, that’s what it looked like. the girl she had been with had dark skin and long ginger curly hair. the bitch was all in her face. you immediately felt a pang of jealousy and sadness.

it was so hard for you to move on but here shuri was, hugged up with some girl. if you were white, your face would be as red as a hot tamale. you stared long and hard into her soul and before you knew it, her eyes met yours.

the look on her face when she noticed you was malicious. yet, the look on your face gave very much… distraught. you wanted nothing more but for her not to know that her being here with someone else, some skank, got under your skin. instead, you took matters into your own hands. not thinking clearly what so ever.

one thing moving to another, you found your lips on your best friends. you wrapped your arms around her neck as your lips continued sinking into emeralds. hoping it was enough to make shuri jealous. or at least feel what you felt.

you were also hoping this was for nothing and that shuri could see you tonguing your best friend. the kiss became sloppy and hot. however, your feelings for em hadn’t changed, you thought. you opened your eyes and stared into emeralds.

the smile she had on her face made your stomach sink because you’ve only done this to get a reaction from shuri. when you looked back over to her, the look she gave you was devilish. if looks could kill- yeah, you know the rest.

you thought you were done messing with shuri and that you’ve made your point across. emerald had other plans. her lips smashed right back onto yours. this time, the kiss was 10x more passionate and your lips begged for more as you gave in and kissed her back.

her tongue even made it’s way into your mouth as she placed her warm hands around your exposed waist. she kissed you hard and soon, your lips parted.

she leaned down to whisper in your ear once again. “come with me?” she whispered. the desperation in her raspy voice sent a chill or two down your spine. you were about to go and make out and potentially have sex with your best friend. what a night.

you gasped at her words before nodding your head. she held her hand out behind her and you grabbed onto it, following her towards the private rooms the club had.

having to pass your ex, you shoot a glance and once you’ve passed her, you could practically feel her eyes on your back as you and emerald maneuver your way into a unoccupied room, hand in hand.

emerald used your back to slam the door shut as she roughly pushed you against the door. you knew where this was going and your breathing was uncontrollable at this point.

she grabbed your chin and forcefully but gracefully crashed her lips onto yours. the kiss was even more sloppier, even more intense than the first time you’ve kissed her. this girl was hungry and you couldn’t tell whether or not you felt the same way or if you were just in the moment. your hands roamed her body and so did hers.

she broke the kiss and backed away before walking over to the couch taking a seat. she sat down manspreaded, her hands rested in her lap. she starred deeply into your eyes and took her lip in between her teeth.

she then motioned for you come to her and tapped her lap. still in shock that all of this was occurring ever so quickly, you slowly made your approach to where she was sitting. still quite hesitant, but you’ve already dug yourself into a deep hole.

you straddled her, sitting on her lap. your front facing hers. she used her thumb and index finger to lift your face up to hers before she kissed you for the 3rd time tonight. you could practically feel her hunger for you growing in her mouth.

she brought her left hand down to your lower back, taking a drag onto your perfect ass. “fuck y/n.” your mouths separated. “i need you so bad.” she whispered, still trying to catch her breath. “have me.” you challenged with a smirk planted on your face. fuck, why would you say that?

emerald lifted you up off of her slightly, pulled your skirt up a bit, revealing the black lace panties you had on underneath. she pulled them to the side and pushed right back down onto her thigh. she grabbed ahold of your hips and you winced at the friction.

“ride my shit.” emerald said in a low voice. you began to grind up onto her thigh. your wet core drug against her leg slowly. “oh fuck!” you moaned out. she brought her lips to yours as she allowed you to fuck yourself on her, your pace picking up by the second.

you pull away and stopped grinding against her. “emerald, wait.” you got up off of her and pulled your skirt down a bit. “i just-“

before anyone could make another move, the door to the room you were in crashed open. not the normal way to open it though. the door was split right down the middle. the loud noise caused you to jump back, a familiar tattooed hand was seen poking through the new whole in the door and grabbed the handle from the inside, unlocking it and twisting it open.

once the door swung open, there in the doorway stood shuri. your problematic ex. shit.

“shuri, what the fuck?” you shout. “so this what we doing y/n?” shuri said with a low voice before she took one step in. “ain’t i say this would happen?” she shook her head in disappointment.

“shuri i—“ you cry out.

“yeah? you what? you’re about to sit here and let your so called ‘best friend’ have what belongs to me, hm?”

her eyebrows furrowed, putting both of her hands behind her back.

“shuri, you broke up with me!” you put base in that last part. “y/n, i broke up with you to prove a point. look at you, couldn’t even wait to open your legs again,” she took a step closer to emerald.

“gonna let emerod touch you in ways i used to? huh?” she yelled out. “well,” she chuckled. “she fucking can’t. nobody knows yo body like i do. nor would anyone love you as much as i do.” she dropped her hands from behind her back.

“who the fuck is emerod?” emerald questioned.

“you’re literally here with someone else, shuri.” you stepped up in her face. “i’m not fucking with that broad, we’re just friends.” she pointed out.

“same for me and emerald.” you say, backing away. yikes, that’s gotta sting.

“let’s go, emmy.” you grabbed her arm and started to walk past shuri but she hurriedly blocked the exit.

“you think i’m some fool? you put yo lips on that bitch. them same lips that was on every inch of my body not too long ago?” shuri spat.

“yo, who the fuck are you calling a bitch?” emerald stepped in front of you, now face to face with shuri.

“you not hard, get the fuck out of my face, em.” shuri spat back. “you know,” emerald backed up, grabbing her hand. “you don’t deserve y/n,” she brought your hand up to her lips and and kissed it. “i do.” she finished. “yeah?” shuri let out a dry laugh. “yeah. i could love her better,” she promised. “and i could fuck her better.” emeralds words made your eyes shoot up to shuri and then at her. “prove it.” shuri commanded.

the room grew silent for a minute. you’re not too sure what she was implying. “that’s what i thought.” shuri grabbed your wrist, and tugged you along behind her, walking out of the area the private rooms were.

“aye, what the fuck?” emerald grabbed shuri’s arm, making shuri’s neck snap back towards emerald and before you knew it, shuri’s hand went right across em’s face. “leave us.” shuri commands.

“y/n-“ emerald manages to get out, while holding the side of her face. “i said to leave us.” she warned. shuri then began to walk off once she thought her point was across, holding you tightly as you walked with her out of the club.

shuri walked you to the passenger side of her car. she then opened the door but you did not enter. “shuri, that was really uncalled for.” you tell her.

“she’s a big girl, she can handle it.” she replies. “but you literally put your hands on her, that’s not okay. i’d be a terrible friend if i leave here with you.” you shot back. “true,” she says. “that ain’t got shit to do with me.” she shrugs. “shuri.” you spat. “alright. i shouldn’t have reacted that way, but seeing you with her made me want to do more damage then what i’ve already done. just be lucky i didn’t.” she confessed and you sigh.

“if you want to leave with her, cool.” she tells you. “but, i do miss you and i want to talk things out with you.” she smiles. “i miss you too, shuri. i’m gonna go find em.” you grin. you look over to your left and see emerald pulling off in her car. shit. “looks like your coming home with me.” shuri smirked.

you got in the car and shuri closed the door once you were in. she ran to the driver’s side, got in and started the car.

most of the car ride was silent so far. you still had another 20 minutes to go being that shuri’s house was quite far. the silence was loud, the sound of the wind blowing filled your ears as shuri drove on the highway with the windows slightly rolled down. “how have you been, love?” shuri broke the silence. “i’ve been—“ you pause. “fine.” you breathe out. “you know i don’t buy that, right?” she looked at you for a second and then put her focus back at the road.

“then why ask?” you ask. “just trying to make conversation.” she chuckled. you missed that. her laugh, the way she knew you so well, everything. “so, you didn’t give what’s mine away during our time away from each other, right?” she asked.

“i didn’t want anything from anyone but you shuri. i was really hurt.” you tell the truth. “you was about to give it up to emerod tonight if i haven’t shown up.” she mumbled but you heard her clearly. “emerald and i only went that far to make you jealous, shuri. i seen you with that girl so i just did the first thing i could think of.” you tell the half truth. a part of you wanted you and emerald to do the do but another’s part of you was still unsure.

“what about you?” you ask. “i’ve been way too busy missing you, nkoszana.” you gasp at the nickname that you missed so much. shuri placed her hand on your thigh, like she normally would when you’d be in the car together.

you missed that as well. her touch made you tremble and she noticed it. “what took you so long?” you wanted to know. she glanced at you with a confused look on her face. “what do you mean?” she asked. “i’ve been waiting for you to come back to me. if i hadn’t been with emerald, would you still?” you ask with a pained voice.

“of course i would, i just wanted to be right about something. luckily you were here tonight, i was going to have to give in and pull up or something if i haven’t seen you tonight.”

“so is that why you broke up with me? to prove a fucking point?” you shouted at shuri. “what? no. i just was running away from my feelings. i’ve realized that it’s the only thing i do. i felt like i had too much pride to tell you exactly how i really felt and you didn’t deserve that so i just did us both a favor and ended things.” not knowing what to say to that, you were silent. “i can’t be without you, y/n. instead of running from my feelings, i want to discuss them, from now on. okay? i want to fix us.” she claimed.

“then why have you been acting the way you have been?” you shot back. “because you and emerald were all over each other. i was afraid.” she admits. “afraid? afraid of what, shuri?” you look at her. “i thought she’d take you away from me. you never seen what i saw when you two were constantly together. it mad me feel,” she swallowed. “misfit.”

she finished. “shuri, why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“you wanted me to admit i was jealous?” she chuckled. “yes. all of this could’ve been avoided and worked out, you know?”

“i do now. i’m sorry okay? now that you know, can i have back my baby girl?” her voice got low.

“i don’t know shuri, i don’t think it’s that easy.”

“tell me what i need to do then?”

“promise me you’ll communicate with me.” shuri bit her lip. “i promise my love. i’ll try for you, i swear it.”

you smile and put your hand on top of hers that never left your thigh. shuri chuckled and leaned in for a kiss. you leaned your head in as well. you pecked her lips a good three times, but as soon as you pulled away, shuri licked her lips hungrily.

you could tell you weren’t the only one wanted more.

you knew your girl.

you look at shuri and soon she looks at you as well. she bites her lip and began to start slowly rubbing your thigh in small circles, the way she knew you liked. shuri knew just how to get you going.

she looked back at the road but continued to rub your thigh. she hand slowly made its way to in between your legs. she stopped when she reached your fabric on your underwear.

you took a deep breath as she gave you a look that says “can i?” and you nod your head yes.

“let me hear you say it, mama.” that made your knees buckle in your seat, which earned a smirk from shuri.

“i want you to use your words, love.” she repeats. “can i make you cum?” she asked.

“fuck, yes shuri.” she wasted no time taking her fingers to your clothed cunt. she started to rub your pussy slowly, in small circles on your clit.

“look at you, leaking for me already.”

shuri slid her index finger down your slit, stopping at your entrance. “fuck!” you cried out. she then slowly inserted two fingers inside your dripping cunt, pumping into you slowly as you squirmed in your seat beneath her.

she rammed her skilled digits into faster as your moaning became louder. “unh! shuri, shuri, shuri!”

“damn baby, i missed the way you say my shit.” her pace sped up, she fucked into you harder, increasing sounds of the high pitched moans escaping your mouth. she curved her fingers slightly, this made your back arch.

she moved her fingers in and out of you so well while driving with one hand. wasn’t nothing new for you but somehow, it felt better than it ever has. “oh— fuck shuri. i’m gonna- unh!” you spread your legs wider, letting her into you as much as possible. “i’m so fucking close, don’t stop!”

“yeah? you gonna cum on my shit?” shuri curved her fingers up, hitting all the right places, causing your legs to tremble. “yes, i’m gonna cum. shit!” you managed to get out. “mmm i’m gonna, i’m-“ before you could finish, you whined at the empty feeling of your pussy that had been leaking all over shuri’s seat.

“wh- shuri! what the fuck?”

“you gotta wait til i get you home, love.” she brought her fingers to her mouth and sucked off what remained on them. “i wanted to cum now!” you yelled at her, sounding like a big baby.

“i didn’t want my seat’s messy. you’ll thank me later, mama.”

“like i haven’t made a mess on them before.” you mumbled. “what was that?” shuri shot back. “nothing.” you pouted and crossed your arms, sitting back in your seat.

shuri pulled into her garage in her apartment. “come on big baby.” she mocked in a whiney voice.

“shut up.” you scoffed and got out of the car. you both walked to the elevator, you pressed the button and waited for the door to open. once it did, you both walked in and shuri pressed the floor number as you rested your exposed back against the cold wall. you looked everywhere but at her, clearly still irritated that she played with your nut like that.

“you really got a attitude, huh?” she said before laughing dryly. you ignored her. “do you hear me talking to you?” she stepped in front of you. you looked at her and then looked away again. shuri took her hand and grabbed you by your neck, forcing you to look up at her. “you really don’t want to ignore me right now.”

“you know i have an attitude, why ask dumb questions?” you rolled your eyes. the elevator dinged and she let go of you. “go.” she said, smirking. you walked out and stopped outside of her apartment number. shuri unlocked and opened the door and pushed you inside. she picked you up and carried you up all of the stairs, entering her bed room, she threw you onto her freshly made bed. “still got that attitude?” she checked. “not gonna change nothing so it don’t matter.”

“let’s fix that then.” she stood over you. “strip.” she demanded. you sat up and slid off your skirt first, then your cropped top & your heels. you reached for your panties but shuri smacked your hand away. “leave these on.” you obeyed and looked into her eyes. she once again grabbed you by your neck and pulled your face into hers, kissing you sloppily.

her slipping her tongue into your mouth made you moan out. your legs wrapped around her body as she laid you down on your back. still holding your neck, she let go and began trailing kisses down it. your breathing started to pick up from the pleasure her kisses caused. the kisses turned into sucking and small nibbles, you were for sure you’d leave her marked up completely.

she moved down to your boobs, cupping the right one and taking the left one into her mouth. she then gave attention to the other one, resulting in many breathy moans coming from you.

she kissed down your stomach, making you shiver at her touch. once she made it to below your stomach, she unwrapped your legs from around her and left kisses up your thighs. she also kissed around your aching cunt, begging to be used and abused.

“shuri, please.” you cried out. “please what?” she looked up at you. “tell me what you want baby.”

“want you to taste me.” you say. “that’s my girl.” shuri smiled and looked down at your leaking front. she played with the now wet fabric if your panties. “these look good on you.” she praised.

before you knew it, you heard a ripping sound. “shuri? what the fuck?” shuri created a hole in your underwear. big enough that it exposed your entire pussy. “look at her, begging for me to fuck her up.”

she then took her fingers to your clit. she rubbed slowly in circles, while looking into your eyes. “watch me, okay baby?” you nodded before moaning at her touch. she put her head down and slid her tongue over your clit. she licked and sucked on it, making you squirm and whimper.

“fuck, baby!” you moaned out. she took two fingers and stuck them inside of your hole while she continued to eat your pussy. she rammed her fingers into you like she did in the car, sending you over the edge. you instantly felt yourself getting closer and closer to your orgasm as your hips bucked upwards into her face, riding it out. “shuri! i’m so close, fuck!” you grabbed her head, bucking your hips harder. shuri curved her fingers and pumped in and out of your harder as well.

“unhh! i’m cumming, i’m- unhh” you were a moaning mess. you felt yourself release in shuri’s mouth but the pleasure didn’t stop, shuri continuously slid her fingers into your dripping cunt. “mm, you taste so fucking good.” the vibrations of her words sent you over. she sat up and pulled you in to kiss her and you tasted yourself on her lips. once she pulled away, you laid back on the bed, out of breath. trying to come down from your high.

“you okay now, love?” shuri stood up and took off her shirt and her cargos, leaving herself in nothing but her black sports bra and matching boxers. she tossed the clothes in her hamper and sat down at the edge of the bed. finally calmed down, you sat up and crawled over to where shuri was sitting. you wrapped your arms around her and smiled ear to ear. “i am now.”

“where you at? one more?” she cackled. “one more baby.”

shuri got up and walked into her closet and you sat on the bed patiently waiting for whatever she had to offer up next. shuri returned with a strap you knew well. the one that she could feel whatever you felt. the one that you came on every single time she used it. she lifted you up and laid you in your back, but your head hung off the bed a little.

thinking that was a mistake, you scooted back so your head wasn’t dangling off but shuri grabbed your face and pulled it back, hanging off the bed once again. “nah, stay here.” shuri demanded. shuri hovered over you and you finally understood what was going on. she slid her thumb over you lip and placed a kiss on your forehead. before you knew, shuri slammed her dick into your mouth, roughly. “fuck! let me use that pretty mouth of yours.”

shuri grabbed your face and thrusted into your mouth, slamming her dick down your throat fast and hard. she fucked your throat as spit flung everywhere, sliding down her thighs and your face. she fucked into you some more until tears ran down your cheeks, you were feeling as if you couldn’t quite breathe properly but you wanted to make her feel good so you dealt with it.

she pulled out of your mouth, panting and throwing around curse words here and there. she didn’t cum yet so that was now your mission. completely fucked out, shuri laid you on your stomach. you arched your back for easy access and shuri angled her dick at your entrance.

she bent down and kissed your back before slowly feeling you up with her strap. “fuck!” you moaned out. she started off slowly thrusting into you. your ass smashed against her front repeatedly, making your big ass jiggle. shuri smacked your ass hard and you winced in pain. it hurt but it was a good hurt. she placed her hands on your hips and fucked into you faster & deeper, your skin smacking against hers.

“oh my- fuckk baby! unnh” you fucked her back, throwing everything you had against her. “you feel so fucking good.” shuri grabbed a hand full of your hair and pulled, lifting your head up. “you fuck me so well, shuri. mm” you praise. this caused her to speed up. making your head drop even though she was holding you up by your hair. “sit the fuck up, can’t even sit up for me, so pathetic.” she breathed out. she gripped harder, wrapping your hair around her hands a few times.

you were a whimpering mess, she slammed into your g spot over and over. she always did so well pleasing you but something really snapped within her tonight.

“i want you to flood my shit, baby. can you do that for daddy?” she managed to say. her pants made you even wetter than you already were. “unnh!” was all you could manage to say. “answer me!” she shouted. she slapped your ass making you hiss. “yes, yes, yesss. shuri, fuck!” you finally said. feeling yourself get closer and closer to your release. “that’s my girl.”

“but first,” she picked up the pace, digging deep into you. “you think em could ever fuck you like i do? huh?” she asked. “mm mm unnh” was all you could say. “use your fucking words, y/n” she fucked into you harder and harder. “no. baby, no. UNH. i belong to you. i’m all yours baby. fuck!” you told her what she wanted to hear and you meant every single word. “this my pussy?” she moaned at your words. “this all yours, shuri!” you cried out. “i’m cumming shuri, fuck!” the sound of your squelching wet pussy and you & shuri’s moans filled the room as you let go of everything you had.

“unh. i’m right behind you baby! fuck.” you felt shuri’s release intertwine with yours. she let go of your hair and you both crashed down onto the bed laying beside each other. the both of you were breathing heavily, trying to come down from your high.

shuri rolled over onto her side and faced you. “does this mean i’m yours again?” shuri asked you, pushing away the hair that rested wildly on your forehead. “you always will be shuri.” she smiled and pulled you close as she hugged you, still breathing heavy. “i missed you, my love.”

“i’ve missed you too.” your lips connected and she kissed you passionately while rubbing your back.

[despazito]

like i have such conflicting feelings about the pathologizing of mental illness nowadays and the culture it creates. i think the need to have ones dx, at least in my case, was driven by a fundamental urge for validation that what i’m feeling isn't just a phase or something that will sort itself out. i think women especially have had our pain and struggles so minimized, i had lows wishing i just had a broken leg so others could at least see my pain. i clung to my dx and feet like waving it to the world shouting its not just in my head!! i’m not just lazy!!

in some ways getting the dx is like getting a pedigree for your fucked up brain. like this isnt some backyard bred tiktok adhd, this is PUREBRED adhd with the papers to prove it!!! all these women like myself who were looking for a voice and affirmation through dx to prove they “aren’t just one of those girls who’s too sensitive and googled their symptoms”, but now that’s also created its own trope of “overdiagnosed girl in her 20s” and there’s a whole new stereotype to mock and invalidate. there’s just no winning, it really feels like our pain will never get taken seriously by society to matter which route we take to get heard we are dismissed.

but of course these slips of paper become vital if you need any assistance or accommodations, so they are incredibly beneficial to have.

my issue is the more i reflect, the more i do feel like many emotional disturbances or brain funkiness ESPECIALLY depression and anxiety are the result of, or at least become more aggravated, by unluckiness in your childhood relationships and the narrative we created about it. turns out you don’t need to be textbook abused to have adverse experiences, and a failure to have a healthy secure relationship to your primary caregiver fucks with you for life but nobody wants to talk about that. i do think we live in a society here in canada where parental rights to parent how their want is overstepping on the child’s right to have the healthiest possible environment to be raised in. i had spent years reading about the lifelong effects of parental deprivation or bad socialization in dogs and parrots before reading about it in humans, and i think we forget how much humans are also animals.

but the thing is you can work on relationships, you can begin to process trauma. when i tell myself “i’m a person with anxiety” it feels really loaded with a sense of finality that i will always live this way.. the more i use that language the more futile it feels about ever improving, when so often depression and anxiety are the result of deeper unresolved issues. I see so many people with phobias or fears resign to living painful lives than trying to work on any exposure or processing their fears. i’d still be miserable if i never worked through my intense fears of intimacy, i was perfectly resigned to a life of being alone and thought i was content with that.

turns out growing up with trauma can cause the same unfocused and disorganized presentation as clinical adhd.i’ll admit i didn’t like learning that one, as adhd already has so many deniers my kneejerk response was anger at my adhd being invalidated. but i think a lot of adhd people fall somewhere in between that venn diagram, and rejecting a traumagenic theory for some people’s symptoms means they will be prescribed the wrong treatment plan. and this is why all treatment plans put emphasis on talk therapy just as much as pharmacological intervention.

obviously some things aren’t the result of your childhood! your mom yelling at you doesn’t cause autism, but chances are if you’re autistic and had cruddy support you’ll face more adversities and mental health struggles than a good supportive environment. similarly, you could’ve grown up with all the love and support to thrive but one day your thyroid decides it’s time to make you feel like roadkill.

idk, what i’m trying to say is don’t corner yourself or resign from living life because of your mental health dx or think that you’ll never get better because you “have” this, chances are there’s always room to feel better. the most hurtful thing is our inner voice if it’s internalized negative language, and there’s exercises you can practice to drill more positive or at least neutral nonjudgemental language into your inner critic. because even if you have something that will never be cured, the way we talk to ourselves about it is a variable we have some power over.

the narrative part experiencing trauma is uniquely human. some people will experience horrible things and internalize the negativity or self blame, but resilient people have better prognosis because they have ability to frame things in a narrative that don’t assign self blame, and critiques the behaviour instead of the self. because so many complications and struggles arise out of kicking ourselves when we’re down. but the thing is this usually can’t happen on its own, we need to see this modeled by the people around us. but thankfully if we missed the boat, we CAN retrain that voice

anyway that’s my musings from my perspective. for anyone curious here’s a lecture that really resonated with me, its got some hard hitting truths i didn’t want to hear but sometimes you gotta hear things that make you uncomfortable

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

The Trouble of Love Languages

Dean Winchester x plus size reader

Dean’s love language is quality time and acts of service while the woman he loves most in this world craves physical touch, which is the one thing he can’t stand.

Warnings: angst to fluff, they’re both in a bit of the wrong here, Dean has touch aversion, arguing, Dean is definitely an asshole with lots of unresolved issues, slightly toxic relationship?, break up, reader is ever so slightly touch starved, lovers to ex’s to lovers again, drinking, crying, comfort, hopeful ending, Sam is a good wingman

WC: 4.7k

Minors DNI

Dean Winchester hated to be touched. After spending all of his life with minimal kind physical touch with the people he cared about, it was no wonder he had an aversion to it. He could put up with a hug or slap on the back to his brother and fleeting kisses to his girlfriend’s cheek or forehead but everything else was off limits.

She did her best with what she got but sometimes, she just wanted to be held against his broad chest and inhale his unique scent of cheap cologne and gunpowder with just a hint of cherry pie. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body pressed tightly to her but her love for the hunter kept those needs locked behind a steel door that she never noticed had begun to rust.

Y/N sighed, putting down the massive book on werewolves that she had been studying for the past few hours. There was a tight band around her head that was slowly drawing tighter and tighter as a killer tension headache set in. She glanced over to the other side of the library where Dean had his feet perched up on the table as he leaned back in his chair, mindlessly sucking one of the lollipops Y/N had bought for Halloween.

He was only wearing a gray henley today instead of his usual many layers of plaids and shirts so she could see, very clearly, the way his muscles moved under the fabric and the slight pudge of his belly. Those dazzling green eyes were fixed on a new edition of some car magazine he picked up on the way back from a hunt. Y/N couldn’t help it.

Slipping from her own chair, she glided over to him. “What’cha reading?” 

“Magazine.” He grunted but she knew he wasn’t being mean, sometimes Dean just didn’t want to talk. Without thinking, she laid her hands on his thick shoulder and gave them a squeeze.

Dean flinched out of her grasp, turning so quickly that Y/N had to take a step back to avoid being knocked over.  His chair clattered to the floor as the library settled into an explosive silence. Y/N knew Dean could be scary, he’s been through so much trauma, seen and experienced things twenty times over that no human should ever have to see or experience even once. He told her of his time in hell and as a demon but promised that she would never be scared of him because he would protect her.

But now, as his chest heaved with heavy breaths, he was positively terrifying. “How many times have I told you not to do that?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “You know I don’t like to be touched and yet you still continue to do it. How long is it going to take before you get it? I. Don’t. Want. To. Touch. You.” His voice was level but filled with anger, a rage she had only seen when he confronted the worst kinds of monsters imaginable.

“Dean I’m sorry I-“ 

“You know maybe we shouldn’t even be together. Time and time again, you do this and you always say you’re sorry and that you won’t do it again but then a couple days later, you do.” Y/N’s heart was breaking right in front of the hunter but he was too blind with fury he couldn’t see it. “I can’t be with someone as fucking needy as you. It’s every goddamn day! I can’t get one second of peace with you being so clingy.”

That was the last straw. Y/N pushed a finger into his chest, shoving him backwards. He knew how insecure she was about her need for affection and constant reassurance, but until now, he never made her feel like it was an inconvenience. “Then yeah we shouldn’t be together. But you’re not going to be the one to break us up, I am. You’re a selfish man Dean Winchester. I don’t ask a lot from you. I ask that you take care of yourself, that you don’t cheat on me, that you treat me with respect and maybe the occasional hug so I don’t feel like one of your one night stands when you roll off of me after sex.

“I deserve someone who wants to be near me, who tries to understand what I need instead of brushing me off because you don’t want to make the effort. I am sick of being treated like a toy you can pick up and put down whenever you want a quick fuck or comfort. So Dean, you got your wish, we’re done.” Y/N turned and stormed off, her eyes burning with tears that didn’t fall until she could no longer hear her now ex destroying the library.

It was sad how quickly her bags were packed, only a duffle bag and a backpack that housed her entire life. She paused as she lifted the flannel she often wore to bed, the red and black fabric was soaked in Dean’s scent and never failed to make her feel safe every time she wore it.

It felt like a reminder of her faults, of all the things wrong with her that he couldn’t put up with. Scoffing, she threw it onto the bed they had shared only a couple hours ago. There was a quick knock on the door jam.

Sam, the gentle giant that he was, leaned on the wood, brown eyes big with concern. “Where’s Dean?” 

“Don’t know, don’t care.” She snapped, quickly zipping up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, barging past him.

“Hey hey, what’s going on? Did you and Dean have a fight?” He trailed after her like a puppy, sadly watching as she stomped towards the garage which notably was missing the prized Impala. A cruel part of her mind cooed that it was probably parked at some bar where he would find someone better than her. 

“If you can call it that.” She muttered, throwing open the door to her truck and shoving her stuff in. Just as she was about to climb in herself, Sam’s hand wrapped around her forearm to hold her back.

“What happened?” Tears quickly rolled down her full cheeks, wetting the shirt she was wearing as they made their way down her neck. She turned to look at the men who had become her best friend, her voice firm with a slight quiver of sadness. 

“We broke up.”

With a quick pull of her arm, Sam released her and she stepped into the cab of the truck. She rolled down the window, giving him a somber look. “Take care of him, ok. And-“ Y/N debated her next words carefully before speaking again. “Tell him I love him, even if he doesn’t believe it. He needs to know he’s loved.”

And with that, she drove off, leaving behind a very confused Sam and a life that she wished she could have kept.

——————

Another town, another hunt, another bar. That’s how it always went and for a long time, Dean was content to keep it that way. Then she blew into his life like a hurricane, knocking everything off path and forging her own. No more random hookups or drinking beer with every meal. She even made him get rid of all the guns he mounted on the wall in his room.

And now, the hurricane had passed, leaving behind destruction and a hole the shape of her in his heart. But she would not come back, he made sure of that when he called her clingy. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He regretted it the moment it left his mouth and watched as the light in her eyes died.

She was gone, because of him, because of his stupidity he lost the best thing that has ever happened to him and the only thing he could do was accept it. So, he went back to his old ways, paving over the path of destruction in his soul the only way he knew how, beer, hunts, and women. 

Sam decided to stay in the motel that night, shooting his older brother a look so devastating that Dean couldn’t meet his eye for fear he would see the disappointment and pity he already felt in himself. But Dean slipped out the door anyway and headed for the closest bar, truly not giving a shit if it was any good or not.

The music was too loud, the lights too dim, the beer too stale. Dean, however, was determined to stay, trying to convince himself that he could go on without her. He downed his first drink quickly, not letting the taste hit his tongue before his glass was drained. Signaling for another one, he rested his elbow against the sticky bar counter.

It was familiar, like returning to your childhood home. But it felt wrong. The voice in the back of his mind was screaming at him to leave, to find her and crawl on his knees begging for forgiveness until she came back. That voice was silenced with another glass of cheap whiskey.

The hand planted on his chest was familiar too. A touch he could tolerate because he knew what came after, sweaty bodies rutting together until that rush of dopamine hit him and he could feel like a normal person for a while. She was pretty, young too and obviously enamoured by the sexy older man with a gruff voice that bought her drinks and made her feel special.

Another drink. She asked him to go back to hers and he agreed, following blindly after her as she led him away. He couldn’t remember the walk to the non descript apartment, only coming back to himself when she took his hand in her own, shooting him a wink that he supposed was meant to be sultry but just served to lessen the ache in his cock. 

Her slender fingers hooked into the belt loops of his jeans, tugging his thin hips into hers and pulled him into her home. The door slammed shut behind him, blindly following her. 

A grunt was knocked from his lungs as she moved him onto her bed, sinking to her knees with hooded eyes. “Lemme take care of you baby.” Her voice was grating on his ears. Dean resisted the urge to flinch when her palms were laid on his muscular thighs.

It was so wrong, a nightmare he couldn’t escape but at the same time, didn’t want to because he wanted to prove something to himself, to validate his anger and his rage at the woman that loved him so much. Dean felt her tug at his belt and was broken from his thoughts.

“Stop. Just stop.” He all but shoved the girl off of him in his haste. 

“What the hell!” She chastised, quite obviously offended at having been rejected by this man that until a few seconds ago, seemed very keen to have a night of fun with her. Dean shook his head and with a muttered ‘sorry’ left her kneeling on the bedroom floor.

“You fucking dick!” She called after him, and he couldn’t help but agree.

——————

Jody’s home was pleasant enough to live in. With home cooked meals every single night and a deluge of girl talk with not only the Sheriff but the two teens in her charge. It was a good distraction for a while, getting caught up in the usual antics of the young women that Y/N imagined Sam and Dean were like when they were younger.

But even the best distractions can only last for a little while. And each night, as she settled into the small bed graciously given to her, Y/N just felt alone. She was out of place here, a passing visitor that had overstayed her welcome long ago. No matter how much Jody may have protested the opposite and Claire and Alex insisted that they loved having her there, this wasn’t Y/N’s home.

Her home had always been Dean. His presence had soothed her soul in a way that nothing had ever done before. She lived for nights where they would drink and laugh themselves silly or when he would prepare her coffee just the way she liked it in the morning. She desperately missed how his face would break out into an uneven and frankly goofy smile when she teased Sam.

In a vain attempt to stop her mind from going down a road that she knew would make her spiral, Y/N shoved her headphones in her ears and blasted a random playlist. The soft guitar and crooning voice so similar to Dean’s had her eyes burning with tears. Her chest ached as she thought about the way he sang to her in the car, his hand on the seat beside her plump thigh, not quite touching her but close enough she knew it was there.

Tears rolled down her temples wetting the pillow beneath her head as she let herself mourn the love she had lost. Her sobs were silent, mere hiccups as she forced herself not to make any noise to alert the others. She couldn’t take anymore of their pitying looks.

She hugged herself tightly as her nails dug into her soft forearms, her chest heaving with her cries. Images of the man she considered her soulmate with another woman sent her deeper down the rabbit hole of self-despair. She could only imagine what he had gotten up to in the weeks since she left and it was driving her crazy.

The song faded out, leaving Y/N alone with her thoughts for a second too long. The brightness of the screen blinded her for just a moment before she clicked on the last text exchange in her phone.

I love you sweetheart

The low buzz of the outgoing call rumbled against her chest where she placed her phone face down. In the silence between each ring, she was doubting her decision more and more. Why should she reach out first when he was the one that broke them? 

“Hello?” His raspy voice came out crackled through her head phones, making her heart jump slightly. 

“S-sorry butt dial.” She panicked, quickly hanging up but not before hearing him call out, “Wait! Plea-“ Y/N threw her phone onto the pile of her clothes in the corner of the room, ignoring how it was now ringing again, a photo of her and Dean lighting the screen.

Sleep did not come easily that night even after her cries ceased, her eyes finally fluttering closed as the sun began to peak over the horizon, dousing the room in a soft pink.

——————

It was rare that music didn’t play in the Impala. There was almost always a constant stream of classic rock that spewed from the radio, yet the silence was more overwhelming than the usual loud songs Dean sang along to. 

Sam was deeply concerned for his older brother. He knew the break up hit him hard, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, but the younger Winchester didn’t think it was this bad. Dean reeked of the same whiskey he religiously drank after they lost Bobby. His clothes were rumpled and dirty, the Impala, his prized possession looked dull and lifeless, caked with dirt and dead bugs.

Dean hadn’t shaved in the weeks since she left so he now sported a semi-impressive beard which Sam attempted to make fun of just the same as his own facial hair had been but Dean had merely grunted and ignored him. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” He attempted to start a conversation.

“Jody’s.”

“Why?” The one word answers were nothing new, but at least he was talking. Dean’s green eyes flicked briefly over to his brother before returning to the road. 

“Hunt.” Sam sighed, slumping back against the leather bench of the car, his focus shifting to the world that was speeding past them. He was sick of this self-pitying attitude that was slowly driving the older man to madness when it could be solved so easily.

“If you pulled your head out of your ass, you could get her back.” The air in the car turned to ice. “Don’t act like I didn’t hear you frantically calling her last night.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He growled, knuckles turning white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. But Sam kept pushing.

“She’s the best thing to have ever happened to you and you just let her leave. Or maybe you just never loved her since you went home with someone only a week ago, that’s why you didn’t put up a fight.” 

“Shut up Sam.” Sam, that should have made him worry. He was only called Sam when Dean was pissed and on the edge of an almost toddler-like melt down. 

“I’m just saying, if you really wanted to, and I mean really really wanted to, she would forgive you. But you don’t want to make the effort.” The tires screamed as Dean pulled off the road with a flick of his wrists. Sam was jerked sideways with the force but then was sent the other direction as Dean fisted the front of his flannel and shoved him back against the car door.

His eyes were wild with fury and his next words came out in a snarl. “I can’t get her back. Don’t you understand that. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” He pushed, desperate to get his brother to finally come to his senses. “You know she loves you and that she would do anything for you. What made this fight so terrible?”

“Because I can’t touch her!” The silence quickly returned as Sam tried to comprehend what he was just told. “I can’t touch her Sammy.” Dean was on the edge of tears. He released his shirt from his grasp like the fabric had burnt him and buried his head in his hands.

Sam had never witnessed Dean like this before, like his world was crumbling down before him and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it because he had just given up. No matter the circumstances or insurmountable odds that had faced him, he always pushed through with his can-do attitude and unwavering loyalty to those he loved. But now he was being consumed by a hopelessness so many monsters had attempted to instill in him but never could.

He was heartbroken and suffering. He lost the woman who knew his soul and yet still loved him. Sam knew what that despair felt like, to have such a great love ripped away and not giving yourself time to lament on that loss. 

“Dean.” He started but was quickly interrupted.

“I couldn’t give her what she deserved. I couldn’t be that loving boyfriend she wanted so badly. I couldn’t even fucking hug her without feeling like I wanted to push her away. And I knew it was hurting her but she was right, I am selfish. I wanted her to myself even if I could see her slowly dying inside.”

The sun was quickly setting over the brothers, the reds and purples giving way to a deep blue. They watched, for a moment, as the stars began to appear and the darkness surrounded them. “I’ve hurt so many people in my life. My hands have been stained red with blood for so long and she was the one person I couldn’t stand to hurt. Yet I hurt her so badly that she ran away from me.”

“But you do want her back don’t you?”

Tearful green eyes looked back at him. “More than anything.”

“Then we need to make a pitstop, I have an idea.”

——————

Y/N couldn’t help but notice Jody’s worried glances towards the front door as they ate dinner. “Alright Mills, that’s the eighth time you’ve looked at the door in five minutes. What’s going on? Do you have a secret lover coming over?” Claire snorted in her drink but quickly recovered as her surrogate mom shot her a glare.

“No, I do not have a secret lover. Thank you very much. I’m just waiting for a package.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at the older woman, still incredibly doubtful.

“It’s almost 10 at night, why would a package be delivered this late?” 

“Well, I-“ The doorbell rang, saving her from having to give another lame excuse. “Excuse me a moment, there’s my package.” Y/N narrowed her eyes at the Sheriff, not saying anything else.

Alex sighed, shaking her head, like she was in on some conspiracy that Jody had set up. “Have you got anything to add?” Y/N teased.

“Nope, nothing at all. Isn’t that right Claire?” Said girl, who was sitting to Y/N’s left, just huffed and took another large bite of her food.

Y/N ignored the muffled voices coming from the entryway, assuming that Jody, being her usual friendly self, was making conversation with whoever was at the door. Then, “hey girls, I need your help for a minute.” And without so much as a groan of annoyance, both teens stood and rushed from the room.

Before Y/N could follow after them, she heard the front door slam shut and the obvious sound of a car engine starting up and then driving away. “What the hell?” Just as she stood from the table to investigate, a large figure blocked the doorway.

“Dean?” 

“Hi sweetheart.” She melted at the sound of his voice clearly after so long and not through the crackly and broken version she heard through the dozens of voicemails he left her the night before. She itched to run into his strong arms but remained in place, her hand absentmindedly falling to the table, laying her palm flat against the butter knife she had been using. “I hope you’re not planning on using that on me.”

Dean gestured to her hand in a joking manner but only succeeded in making her scowl at him. “You look like shit.” He winced at her tone.

“I deserved that.”

“You deserve a lot worse. What the hell do you want Winchester?” Dean sighed. His body tilted forward, like he wanted to get closer. Running a hand through his hair, which was slightly longer than he normally kept it, his eyes dropped to the ground.

Y/N watched as he deflated, the usually stoic image of the hunter before her crumbling to dust and leaving a man that looked truly broken. “I didn’t mean to call you clingy.” Straight to business, good. She thought.

“But you did. And you did it knowing full well how I feel about that word.” Unconsciously, her voice softened as he nodded along to what she was saying.

“I know and I’m sorry about that. I’m- fuck- I’m sorry about everything.” Y/N didn’t object when he took a tentative step forward and she cursed her body for not recoiling as he drew closer. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to move away. “I wish I could be the man you want, the one you deserve, but I’m not and I don’t think I will ever be.”

“Not really selling your case here Dean.” 

“Just- just let me get to my point and then you can cuss me out. I love you and I want to change for you. I want to get better at touching you and I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you home. Besides Sammy’s been pouting a lot without you there and it’s getting really fucking annoying.” Of course the man couldn’t get through a serious discussion without being a dumbass.

Dean stood inches from her now, and Y/N could see how his hands trembled, either from anxiety or the copious amounts of alcohol she smelt from him, she didn’t know. “I don’t want you to change, Dean. I love you for who you are but you really hurt me and-“

“I know.” He cut her off. “I know and I want to make it right, if you’ll let me.” His green eyes shone with tears

“Goddamn you and your stupid puppy dog eyes.” She grumbled. Dean smirked. “Alright! Jesus, we can try again but I expect so much fucking grovelling, like ten times more than I had to do when I accidentally ate the last slice of pecan pie.”

He smiled and nodded, placing his hand on the dining room table mere millimeters from her own. “Anything you want sweetheart.” 

“And no sex for the foreseeable future, not even over the clothes stuff.” He winced at that but still, his smile did not waver.

“And, and, fuck I can’t think of anything else with you looking at me like that.” She whined and turned her head so she didn’t have to look into his eyes anymore. Y/N gasped as a finger hooked under her chin, guiding her gaze back to the man she still loved so much. His smile was even softer now, almost dopey with love.

“I’ll do whatever it takes, even if that means never getting to see you in anything less than fully clothed for the rest of my life and giving you all of my pie. I just need you, sweetheart.” His forehead dropped to her own, the tips of their noses brushing together in an act so intimate it made her chest burn with affection.

“Did you sleep with anyone else?” The question hung heavily in the air, pressing down on both of their chests like a massive weight. Dean breathed out harshly through his nose and Y/N froze, already fearing his answer, she began to pull away. But without any hesitation, his right arm wound around her thick waist and tugged her into his chest. Caught off guard, Y/N planted her hands on his chest.

She felt the way his body tensed beneath her palms, still so unused to being touched but he didn’t let her go like he would have before. “The short answer: no.”

“And the long answer?” Her throat felt like it was closing up with the onslaught of tear building behind her eyes.

“A girl brought me back to her place and tried to go down on me but I didn’t even kiss her. I left before she got my belt off.” Unable to stop herself, Y/N chuckled.

“You just left?”

Dean’s cheeks coloured with a rare flush. “Yeah, I walked out the door and she was still on her knees calling me a dick.”

“Well she was right about that.” And they stayed like that for a moment, letting themselves be reminded about how much they loved each other. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, Dean stepped away.

“Wait here, I have something for you.” With a few long strides, he left the room and then quickly reappeared holding a canvas bag with the phrase ‘act like a lady, think like a boss’ printed on the side in big, bold lettering. “Don’t diss the bag sweetheart.”

And before she could snark something back, he pulled a teddy bear from the bag. The bear seemed to be a regular plush at first glance, but when Dean handed it to her, Y/N couldn’t help but smile brightly. The toy easily weighed 5 pounds and suspiciously smelt of Dean’s cologne. “I thought that this could be a substitute for when you want to cuddle. But this is temporary, cause I will get better. He’s just a placeholder.”

“He?” 

“Yeah.” He sighed happily. “Little Dean Jr.” Holding the bear tighter to her chest, Y/N stood on her tiptoes and finally planted her lips on his. Her skin burned as the soft kiss quickly turned more passionate and his newly grown beard scraped against her. Fingers curled into his hair, Y/N yanked him even closer as Dean’s hands fell to her generous ass, giving her cheeks a light squeeze.

Reluctantly, she pulled away first, her lungs screaming for oxygen and her brain telling her that if she kissed him any more, she would end up in the back seat of Baby with her legs over his shoulders. “This is a start. But I will not have you talk to me like that again. If you do, I’m gone and you won’t ever see me again.”

“I promise, I’ll do better.” Content with his answer, Y/N pecked his swollen lips. 

“The bear was Sam’s idea wasn’t it?”

“But I named him!” 

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Some thoughts:

While I certainly won't deny that Len has some anger issues, he doesn't really strike me as having the explosive rage you see in the Red Lantern Corps. That's more Lisa's thing. If anything, I think Captain Cold is a Green Lantern. He's stubborn to a fault, he's managed to keep a team of supervillains with widely disparate personalities together for at least a decade, and, when faced with an opponent who is far more powerful than he is (the Flash), he continually and insistently keeps fighting him, coming up with new strategies and plans to stay one step ahead of the Scarlet Speedster. He also faces down much more powerful villains regularly, and without much fear. All that takes serious willpower, and I think that that's ultimately a more prominent part of his character than his anger. Also, Len didn't originally create the Rogues. It was Sam who came up with that idea, and who was originally often the one calling the shots. Len sort of fell into the role later as a result of being the only remaining Rogue with his head screwed on straight.

I agree that Sam Scudder would be an orange lantern. He loves his money and his shiny, shiny mirrors, and he loves attention even more. Evan McCulloch, though...I honestly think he'd be a better fit for the Sinestro Corps. He's basically an Eldritch horror, and borderline unstoppable. Of all the Rogues, he's easily one of the creepiest. I do, however, agree that both he and Sam would be interesting in the Indigo Lantern Corps (particularly Evan, since he's had so much trauma and done so many messed up things). Also, I kind of hate the retconned backstory of Sam having killed someone in a botched burglary before he became the Mirror Master. In his original stories, he was arrested for robbery, and there wasn't any indication that he'd killed someone, and the retcon darkens all his fun Silver and Bronze Age appearances. I love Geoff Johns' Rogues, I really do, but he really needed to lay off on the grimdark retcons.

I agree that Grodd is either a red or a yellow lantern, though I would strongly lean towards the yellow end of the spectrum myself. Usually Grodd isn't especially angry. Brutal, yes. Angry, no.

Captain Boomerang being a red lantern does work, though honestly I would lean towards him being part of the avarice corps myself. Like Cold, while he does have a lot of unresolved anger issues, he doesn't really have that obvious burning rage that seems to characterize a lot of the Red Lantern Corps---and he is very greedy and gluttonous. I also agree that him being a part of the Indigo Tribe could be potentially interesting.

Weather Wizard as a Red Lantern makes sense, since he's frequently very prickly and was very revenge-motivated in his first couple of appearances, but he could be part of the Orange Lantern Corps as well. He's a thief, of course, but, more importantly, we know that he craves power and respect, and it seems very likely that on some level he envied his older brother, who was always his parents' favorite child. I also have to admit that an Ultraviolet Lantern would be a good way to learn more about him, since unfortunately he doesn't usually get as much characterization as the other Rogues do. I will also say that Mark's New 52-and-onward backstory (the only part of which I like is the fact that he and his family are from Guatemala) does make him lean more towards the Red Lantern Corps than he would have previously, since in that version his brother was killed by someone else whom he then took revenge upon.

Eobard being a Red Lantern does make total sense (especially since Barry is a Blue Lantern), but I could see him fitting into the Orange Lantern and Yellow Lantern Corps equally well. As the video mentions, he wants to have Barry's life, which would mean he could slot in quite well to the Orange Lantern Corps, and, of course, as a time-traveling murderous stalker, there's no doubt that he's scary.

Killer Frost is NOT a Flash villain! ARGH! I do agree with the Lanterns assigned to her, at least if we're assuming this is the Caitlin Snow version of her (the Crystal Frost version would have been a more malevolent/stalkerish Star Sapphire or Orange Lantern, and the Louise Lincoln version would have been a Red Lantern).

I mostly disagree on Heat Wave. While the New 52 Hothead McAngryman version of Mick would indeed be either a Red Lantern or a Yellow Lantern, I'm inclined to think that classic Mick part of the Star Sapphire Corps. Not only does that group need some men in it, but, more importantly, Mick is traditionally incredible devoted to and supportive of the people he sees as his friends. You know, I think I now know why the person making this video doesn't like Heat Wave. It's because he's only familiar with the most terrible version of him.

The three rings the person making the video gives to the Pied Piper work pretty perfectly for him. We know that he was lashing out against society and his cold, controlling parents when he was a villain, so a Red Lantern ring does make sense for him as a villain, he did, of course, reform, and he probably does inspire a lot of hope as a hero and social activist. That being said, I think he could simply stay as part of the Indigo Tribe from his reform onwards, as he is extremely compassionate. And hey, he knew about Piper's stint in Breedmore! And...didn't know that William Magnus was paid to give Hartley the hearing aids that allowed him to hear. Piper didn't build those himself.

I definitely disagree that Trickster belongs in the Orange Lantern Corps. James is many things, but one thing he is not is greedy. Back in the Silver Age, he explicitly said that he didn't care nearly as much about money as he did about messing with the Flash, and he's much more interested in showing off and in outsmarting people than he is in simple financial gain. I'd put him in either the Green Lantern Corps or the Blue Lantern Corps myself. He's a persistent little imp, and he certainly holds out a lot of hope for his own future, being as he is generally cheerful and optimistic. Axel would probably be a Green Lantern (due to his teenaged stubbornness and general recklessness), although the very early Axel who was a total sociopath might have fit into the Yellow Lantern Corps. Either way, neither one would be an Orange Lantern.

The Top is either a Green Lantern or a Yellow Lantern. While I don't deny that he hates the Flash and isn't very fond of society generally, his anger is fair outstripped by his willpower and just how scary he is. This is a man who taught himself everything he could about tops and engineering, who taught himself how to spin at super speed, who tried to take over the world, the country, and the city on separate occasions, and who repeatedly dug his way out of the grave several different times through his own sheer willpower. If that doesn't qualify him for a Green Lantern ring, I don't know what does. And, of course, the fact that he's a power-hungry, bomb-building ghost that possesses corpses makes him very scary, so he would also be a natural fit for the Yellow Lantern Corps. But hey, props for acknowledging the fact that Roscoe is mentally ill, and that that does affect his behavior. I can't say that the ultraviolet corps would be bad for him per se, just that I think Yellow or Green would fit him better. Especially since they're already the colors of his costume.

The Orange and Yellow Lanterns would both work well for Savitar.

Characters who weren't mentioned in the video, but who I will classify anyway:

-Zoom (Hunter Zolomon) would probably be either a Red Lantern (because of his anger at Wally for refusing to help him) or a Yellow Lantern (due to his sheer power and willingness to kill). Before he became Zoom, he would probably have qualified for a Green Lantern simply because of all the terrible things he managed to survive.

-Golden Glider is 100% a Red Lantern, being almost entirely motivated by the desire to seek revenge for Roscoe's death. Prior to his death, she would have been either a Green Lantern (because of her incredible determination, bravery, and ability to overcome her abusive father) or a Star Sapphire (because of her deep love for Roscoe).

-Albert Desmond is a Blue Lantern, always hoping that he'll be able to live a normal life with his wife, Rita (who also qualifies for a Blue Lantern ring). Mr. Element is an Orange Lantern; he was primarily driven by a desire for profit. Dr. Alchemy is a Yellow Lantern, as he was disturbingly detached from his humanity, and possessed of almost unlimited control over the elements.

-Alvin Desmond would either be an Orange Lantern (he's a lot like Digger in many ways, but much more power-hungry) or a Yellow Lantern (for the same reasons as Albert when he's Dr. Alchemy).

[legendsoffandoms]

I’m back with another Lloyd au yall :)

So Oracle!Lloyd au!

I was watching a vid and the audio inspired me lol

So basically after the whole Lloyd absorbing the dragon magic thingy, he just becomes Oracle Lloyd.

He sees the past, present, and future. And like also other possibilities that could happen. And just Oracle stuff, like having visions(that makes sense). And this other stuff, but like obviously Lloyd’s personality changes heavily because of this.

And now he has no idea how to act, because he isn’t really this all knowing wise man who’s serious and confident. He’s this anxious kid who’s a very overprotective dad and brother. He’s not always serious, he’s definitely not all knowing and wise. He’s sweet and caring, and has unresolved anger issues. He’s holding a grudge against so many people he’s fought because he’s been seriously hurt by them. He’s scared, and he has abandonment issues.

He’s not anything an Oracle would act like, he’s emotional and wants the best for everyone. He’s not an Oracle, so he gets an identity crisis. He questions everything about him, and what makes it worse is he can see what happens in the future. He knows what happens when he makes certain decisions, like this one. He doesn’t want this power. Because he can also see how much he’s hurting everyone else.

And over time he has to learn to live with it, he has to learn how to be an Oracle and not lose himself. Because he has loved ones, he has kids. He has a family, and he doesn’t want to lose them to him being an Oracle.

And that’s my wrap of this Au, my hc for it is he ends up being this really cool sensei type figure, and he’s really cool looking. But is super sweet and has your best interest at heart, and he’s a super cool dad. But he isn’t afraid to break hard truths to people. Keep in mind this is just how I see him ending up, I would love for yall to tell me how you see him ending up!

Enjoy this beautiful au, stay safe! And write some good angst!