#with that long thick mane? tons

[theloveinc]

How much hair do you think Kiri finds in his ass crack

[bethanythebogwitch]

Wet Beast Wednesday: blue whale

It's the one-year anniversary of my Wet Beast Wednesday posts. My first post was on the smallest of all cetaceans, the vaquita. For the anniversary, I'm going to go to the other end of the spectrum and cover the largest of all cetaceans: the mighty blue whale. Join me as we explore the biggest of bois, the largest of lads, and the absolutest of units.

(Image: a blue whale at the surface of the ocean, seen from above. It is long, slender, and grey. The head is the widest point and takes up about a quarter of the body. The blowholes are positioned at the back of the head. Two flippers emerge from the body just behind the head. The tail fluke is very broad and pointed. End ID)

Blaenoptera musculus, the blue whale, is divided into four subspecies based on size and location. These are the northern blue whale (B. m. musculus), the north Indian ocean blue whale (B. m. indica), the antarctic blue whale (B. m. intermedia), and the pygmy blue whale (B. m. brevicauda). The northern and pygmy whales are further subdivided into population stocks based on what part of their range they live in. Blue whales are not only the largest cetaceans, they are the largest known animals to have ever existed. There are animals that can get longer, like the lion's mane jellyfish, but blue whales are the most massive animals. There are some extinct species that could potentially meet or exceed the blue whale in size, including some ichthyosaurs, whales, and sauropods, but all those species are known only from skeleton fragments so we can't get a fully accurate estimate of their size. Size varies depending on subspecies and population stock, but the longest group are the eastern north Pacific population, which can reach an average 24 m (79 ft). The antarctic subspecies is the heaviest, averaging 130 metric tons (290,000 lbs) for females. Females are larger than males. The pygmy subspecies is the smallest, though small is a relative term as they can still average 21.3 m (69.9 ft) and 99 metric tons (218,000 lbs). The longest scientifically measured individual was 30 m (98 ft), though there are unconfirmed reports of longer ones. The heaviest blue whale on record weighed 173 metric tons (381,400 lbs), though there are whales estimated to get up to 199 metric tons (438,720 lbs). Blue whales also have the largest hearts of any animal. One specimen measured in at 180 kg (400 lbs). The heart is about the size of a golf cart and 4 or 5 people could fit inside the chambers without having to squeeze. There's a commonly-quoted factoid that a person could swim through a blue whale's arteries without touching the sides. I wasn't able to find any exact measurements to confirm or refute this. I did find some sources saying that the blood vessels are highly elastic so its possible the factoids are talking about the arteries at their most stretched. Each heartbeat moves 220 liters of blood and the total blood volume is estimated at 5,300 liters. The heartbeat can be heard two miles away. I really just want to impress on you that these animals are fucking massive. A study on hydrodymanics suggested that a blue whale couldn't get longer than 33 meters (108 ft) before its metabolic and energy requirements would exceed the amount of food it could eat. Blue whales are verging on what is theoretically the maximum amount of big a whale can be.

(Image: an illustration comparing the size of a blue whale to other animals and showing their size. The whale is about as long as a line consisting of a polar bear, grizzly bear, human, asian elephant, giraffe, and great white shark. End ID. Source)

Blue whales are baleen whales, meaning that instead of teeth they have thick, keratinous plates called baleen attached to the upper jaw. When feeding, blue whales open their mouths and swim through clouds of krill. The mouth can open to 80 degrees and folds at the bottom let it expand to fit 220,000 liters of water at a time. The whale them closes its mouth and forces water out through the baleen. The baleen acts as a sieve, trapping krill in the mouth to be swallowed. Blue whales target patched of krill with the highest densities as their feeding style requires a minimum of 100 krill per cubic meter to offset the energy cost of feeding. Most mouthfuls provide 8,312 to 475,141 kilocalories of energy, more than enough to offset the cost of feeding. The current estimate for how much krill an adult needs in a day is 1,120 ± 359 kg (2,469 ± 791 lbs) and pregnant females need even more than that. Blue whales will dive in search of food, with the deepest confirmed depth being a pygmy blue whale that reached 506 m (1,660 ft). The deepest known dive from a non-pygmy blue whale was 315 m (1,033 ft). The longest recorded dive was 15.2 minutes and the estimated maximum dive duration is 31.2 minutes. During dives, a blue whale's heartbeat slows to 2 beats per minute, the slowest of any known animal. The elastic aorta seems to take over a lot of the heart's pumping job during this time. Blue whales are streamlined and similar in appearance to the relates sei whales and fin whales. Blue and fin whales are capable of hybridizing and producing fertile offspring. 3.5% of the blue whale genome comes from hybridization with fin whales. While blue whales can produce hybrid offspring with fin whales, the reverse is not true and the gene flow from fin to blue is unidirectional. It appears that all hybrids are the result of a fin father and a blue mother. Interestingly, blue whales do not appear to be capable of hybridizing with the more closely related sei whales. There are unconfirmed reports of blue whale and humpback whale hybrids. And because someone was going to bring it up if I didn't, the blue whale's penis is the largest of any animal at 3 m (9.8 ft) long and 30 cm (12 in) wide and they can release an estimated 17 liters of semen at a time. I know someone out there desperately wanted to know that and to that person I say you're whalecum.

(Image: a blue whale feeding at the surface of the ocean on its side, seen from above. The mouth is open with the troat and lower mouth inflated. It is swimming into a patch of krill, visible as yellowish coloration in the water. End id)

Blue whales can be found worldwide, though they typically prefer colder water and do not enter the Arctic ocean. They are usually solitary or travel in pairs, but can gather in groups up to 50 strong when food is abundant. Many are migratory, feeding in cold water during the summer and moving toward the equator in winter. They can follow complex migratory patterns that have to be memorized. There are multiple different strategies employed by different populations regarding who migrates when and some populations don't migrate at all. Their vocalizations are used for long-distance and short-range communication and scientists have classified multiple different types of sounds produced. Different populations of whales have different patterns of vocalizations which may be akin to languages or dialects. Blue whale sounds are some of the loudest and lowest frequency produced by any animal and most are too low-frequency to be audible to humans. Mating season happens in winter. Males use vocalizations to attract females, who they then court through special noises, blowing bubbles, inflating their mouths, chasing, and slapping the water with their flippers. Males compete with each other for the chance to mate. Once a female chooses a male, they will mate and then separate. Gestation takes 10 to 12 months. Newborn blue whales are the largest babies in the animal kingdom at 6-7 m (20-23 ft) and 2-3 metric tons (4409 to 6614 lbs). Mother produce between 110 and 320 kg (240 - 710 lbs) of milk daily. Claves are weaned between 6 and 8 months once they hit 16 m (53 ft) and have gained about 17,000 kg (37,500 lbs). Females typically mate every 2 to 3 years. Blue whale become sexually mature at 8-10 years old and can live over 90 years, with the oldest on record being 110 years old. Their age can be determined by earwax, which is laid down in rings like trees.

(Image: a mother blue whale (background) and calf (foreground). The baby is already very large and is a lighter grey than the mother. The baby is seen from the sied while the mother is rotates to show her underside. End ID)

All blue whale subspecies are classified as endangered by the IUCN, with the antarctic subspecies being critically endangered. Blue whales were heavily impacted during whaling, with their population dropping to the point of near-extinction. Since the end of whaling, populations have risen to an estimated 10,000 to 25,000 as of the end of 2023. This is still smaller than their pre-whaling population, but they have recovered quite a bit. The current largest threats to blue whales are climate change, collisions with ships, and human created noise. The effects of anthropogenic noise from shipping lanes on aquatic animals is still poorly understood, though it seems to greatly irritate and even harm whales, forcing them to change their migratory routes and avoid shipping lanes. Interestingly, as the population has increased scientists have noted changes in courtship behavior and vocalization tone. It is hypothesizes that the increasing population is resulting in greater competitive pressure between males for the right to mate.

(Image: a blue whale seen from the side. Its head is toward the camera. The lower jaw as larger and thicker than the upper jaw. The animal is streamlined. The eye is just behind the mouth and small. Further back is a paddle-shaped flipper. End ID)

[sommerregenjuniluft]

can you believe on twitter people are starting to make regulus be fem

*GASP* THEY DID WHAT??

dunno if fem stands for identifying as female or presenting more feminine but yeah i sure can and Actually what a coincidence, would you look at that nonny, i dug this out of the depths of my docs just for you~

enjoy 1.7k of fem regulus (that i wrote for the jegulus microfics a few months back that took a life of its own and i never finished lol)

It had started with a debt.

No, that’s not true– actually, it had started with Professor Slughorn.

He’d sat down on his desk—yes, on, not at, long colorful knitted robes fluttering as he maneuvered himself into a pretzel. He’s a very strange man, that one, Pandora wagers he’s possessed by multiple old spirits, Shakespear and Van Gogh being only two of them—and had tapped a finger against his temple conspiratorially, “I’ve cooked another something up for you guys in here.”

Whenever Slughorn cooks something up in that cauldron of a head of his it’s either brilliant bordering on manic genius or it’s entirely stupid.

The given assignment is to write a song and produce a music video for it. Their final this semester.

Which sounds easy enough, but Slughorn had stressed multiple times that he wanted to be wowed as he’d slurped on his open coconut.

Which means they’re gonna have to put in a shit ton of effort.

“Form groups of five and figure it out,” he’d clapped his hands twice and then slid off the desk and went to leave as students started moving around the room and erupting into hushed discussions.

They’d pretty quickly figured out that Barty and Regulus would come up with the lyrics, they’d done it often enough, sometimes by accident when the brownies Pandora occasionally baked were a whoopsie too strong. Evan had leaned back with a grin and told them not to worry about the soundtrack and Lily and Pandora had already fallen into a tangent about cameras and equipment and location, possible props and friends they could rope into staring.

That’s when Regulus had taken her snake bite piercing between her teeth to smother a mean grin at the idea that popped into her head.

She plops down on her brother’s usual table in the yards, chunky platform heels propped on the bench and long legs on display under her mini skirt. Drives a hand through her wild mane and smiles sweetly, “Hi Jamie.”

As expected, his jaw drops slightly as James’ gaze breaks eye contact and takes on sliding down Regulus’ form where she’s propped herself deliberately right next to his meal.

Another voice at the table pipes up before the object of Regulus’ attention gets the chance to, “What do you want, Reggie?”

Regulus tilts her head, curls falling over her shoulders, eyes not letting off her target, “That’s none of your concern, Sirius.”

James licks his lips, “Hi Reg, how can I be of assistance to you today?”

Regulus leans forward with a smile, noticing the way James’ eyes flit down her low cut shirt for a second, “Remember that one time you’ve dared me to let the whole hockey team drink body shots off me?” Voice honey thick, the Just so you could get a taste goes without saying.

Behind her Sirius chokes on his lunch.

But James’ grin widens and he raises an eyebrow intrigued.

Regulus cards her pale fingers through James’ messy, black hair, makes it just a bit more messy as he looks up at her through his rounded glasses with those baby cow brown eyes of his and the corners of Regulus’ lips tug, “I’ve come to collect my debt.”

Evan produces a banger beat over the course of a single all-nighter that Regulus and Barty write their songtext to, tipsy as fuck on vodka lemon sodas out on Regulus’ small as fuck student housing balcony in the dead of night, moonlight just bright enough to see the pen of what they scrawl down onto the paper of their sketchbooks.

Regulus had left Lily in charge of the planning of availability on the location and the hockey team and Pandora to come up with a range of outfits to choose from for Regulus and the boys.

Evan finishes the song in record time for Regulus to record the vocals to and when it’s mixed and ready Evan’s grin is so bright Barty drives the girls out of the studio to do whatever debauched things to his boyfriend on the couch in there which one, Regulus doesn’t want to worry her pretty little head about too much since it’s her fucking voice– and two, means the song fucking slaps.

Barty also comes up with a slutty and good enough choreo that’ll give the video the dynamic it needs and together the four of them sweat away a few afternoons blending into evenings in front of the mirrors while Lily does whatever magic she does organizing.

Regulus hates that she’s not into girls in times like this.

It takes some time, obviously, you don’t just finish a song overnight and it takes a few weeks until almost everything is ready for the video shoot.

Regulus is sitting curled up on her desk chair while Pandora absolutely just takes her fucking closet apart, Ipad in one of her tiny hands, the Greedy Pinterest board open.

There’s already a pair of trainers and another pair of pointy, glittery heels thrown haphazardly on the end of her bed over the formerly neat sheets as well as a pair of black overknees and a cute lace-y, sage green bra that Regulus didn’t even know she had.

“Here,” Pandora blindly throws something over her shoulder at Regulus. They’re some older, white basketball shorts with black highlights. “Put these with the heels and the green top.”

Regulus does as told, albeit an eye roll that’s nearly painful as Pandora throws some white Nike socks after her. “Those too, babe.”

Another few beats pass where Regulus is bored and Pandora is rummaging and then she says, “Oh. my. gods,” and turns with a shiny faux leather bra hung loosely on her index fingers and a bright smile on her face, “You absolute slut.”

Regulus takes the compliment and gives her a sweet grin and a wink.

Pandora’s eyes take on a milky quality and then she asks, “Can you still do a split?”

Regulus takes a step into the middle of her room and falls into a nearly perfect split without any warm-up.

Pandora rolls her eyes at the showing off, badly containing another smile, “Again, I love you,” and then, a more contemplating expression, “How much do you think you think you can milk James of that debt of yours?”

Regulus scoffs, pointedly looks down at herself where she’s still sitting wide legged and at ease on her bedroom floor.

Pandora’s grin sharpens, “Text him you’re gonna need an old jersey and matching uniform shorts of his.”

And Regulus does just that. And if she sends the demand on Snapchat with a picture of her still in a split that’s none of anyone’s business but hers and Jamie’s.

James, as captain of the hockey team, is courteous enough to let them in with his own keys early in the morning of the shooting day.

They check out the rooms and halls for good spots and start bringing in bags and setting up equipment.

And James is just…helping.

Sticking around the whole fucking day actually.

Xeno and Mary have joined at some point with coffees, donuts and breakfast bagels, bless their fucking souls.

And when everything is as set in place as it can be it’s time for Regulus to change into the first outfit and start filming and James is still just…there.

Hovering with the crew, jostling elbows with Barty and Evan and peaking over Lily’s and Pandora’s shoulders and throwing Regulus glances and toothy smiles from across the room, showing no intention whatsoever to leave and come back later with his fucking team.

——— NSFW

James encourages the jerky movement of Regulus’ hips against his thigh, grip unrelenting on her waist as he leans impossibly closer, dragging his thumb along Regulus’ plump bottom lip, “You’d come like this, wouldn’t you, princess?”

Instead of answering Regulus sucks the thumb into her mouth, laving her tongue around it sloppily and making James breath stutter on the exhale.

“Fuck, good little slut– so desperate for it,” James says as he watches the movement of Regulus’ lips transfixed, continuing to get her off against his leg, “Want me to fuck you, don’t you, baby?”

And Regulus’ mouth drops around the sudden moan as her pace stutters, her eyes pricking with tears of the overwhelming toomuchnotenough and the degradation and sweet pet names and James’ lewd fucking mouth.

He pulls his thumb away and grabs at her ass with both hands, pulling their fronts flush together, two hard lines pressing at each other, “C’mon, princess, words.”

Regulus’ hands ball into fists at the front of James’ soft cotton shirt as she nods hopelessly, brows knit and voice husky, “Want you to fuck me.”

In the next blink James has her turned in his arms, palming at her stiff cock and pulling her ass back into him, his other arm coming around her front. Trailing faintly up her stomach, eliciting goosebumps, then grabbing at her breast and pressing a wet kiss on the side of her neck as a thumb brushes over a hard nipple behind the lace and Regulus groans.

“Be a good girl and stay down for me, yeah?” James rumbles into Regulus’ ear, nuzzling at the curls around her ear and the next moment there are calloused fingertips pressing into the nape of Regulus’ neck and she’s being pushed down against the counter.

James spanks her once across her right ass cheek for good measure it seems, another stay, and Regulus is helpless against the whine that crawls out of her, long hair falling into her eyes when her temple thumps against the marred, red countertop as James sinks to his knees behind her.

The hockey player palms at the swell of her thigh, right under the seam of her ass and kneads, warm humid breath puffing against Regulus’ entrance and she shivers against the exposure of the chilly air, whines something that sounds too close to Jamie and the man does nothing but keep looking and fucking chuckle. Bastard.

And then, “Oh, baby,” a groan and a bite to Regulus’ ass that has her whimpering pathetically, “Prettiest pussy, gonna get you all nice and wet for me.”

Regulus moans, and James hums as he dives in face first, grip strong around her thighs and tongue wet, slowly coaxing the tight ring of muscle open.

[o-craven-canto]

Largest prokaryote: Thiomargarita magnifica, which can grow up to 1 cm (!!) in length, though tbh it's basically a micrometer-thick veneer of bacterium spread over a bag of inert water.

Largest unicellular organism with a single cell nucleus: the mushroom-shaped alga Acetabularia, which grows several cm tall.

Largest unicellular organism with multiple cell nuclei: the green alga Caulerpa taxifolia and the slime mold Physarum polycephalum can grow up to 30 cm, though in practice they function as multicellular organisms that lack membranes between a nucleus and another.

Largest animal: by linear size, the tendrils of the lion's mane jellyfish (Cyanea capillata) can reach 36 m long, and a specimen the ribbon worm Lineus longissimus was dubiously described as 55 m long. They are pretty thin, though. By mass, the highest non-controversial estimate for the largest non-fragmentary sauropod dinosaurs is around 80 tons (Argentinosaurus huinculensis), though there are dubious estimates from fragmentary remains pushing above 100 or even 200 tons. The known record for thee heaviest measured blue whale (Balaenoptera musculus) is 190 tons.

Largest non-colonial organism: the giant redwood General Sherman (Sequoiadendron giganteum) has been estimated to weigh almost 2000 tons, though the vast majority of that mass is probably dead wood tissue. The Lindsey Creek tree (Sequoia sempervirens) was estimated to weigh 3300 tons when it was felled by a storm in 1905. The tallest redwoods grow to 110-120 m tall, which is probably the physical limit for tree height on Earth.

Largest colonial organism: clonal colonies of trees and fungi can grow quite large indeed. The Pando aspen colony in Utah counts over 40,000 individual trees with ininterconnected roots, for an estimated total of over 6000 tons. A colony of the mushroom Armillaria ostoyae in Oregon covers 9 square km and may weigh over 30,000 tons. A colony of the seagrass Posidonia australis (an aquatic flowering plant, not an alga!) in Australia reportedly covers 200 square km, though I see no estimate of its mass. Apparently there is a supercolony of the ant Linepithema humile stretching between Spain, California, and Japan with "billions" of individual workers (assuming 0.5 mg per ant, that would still mean only a few tons of total mass).

[bonefall]

Sketch Request: Batch 1

So I said they'd be in pencil but OOPS they are in pen

Requests are still open, feel free to request the same character again!

Under the cut is Firestar, Bluestar, Runningnose, Flipclaw, Hawkwing, Violetshine, and Morningflower. Special guest appearances for Brokenstar and balding Lionblaze.

@doritopaw101 Firestar

FIRESTARRRR I want him to look like an anime protagonist. He starts off round, simple eyes, blush, and ends up as fire twink. The chest scars are from where Scourge killed him

I have never been able to imagine stripes on him. He is an orange crayon.

@nightly-ruse Bluestar

Ignore balding lionblaze in the corner we'll get to him

I usually just see a super basic blue cat when I picture her but Bluestar needs something cooler than that. I tried to channel a wolf, long face, tail's kinda thick, leg feathering. She also has a ThunderClan "mane," a feature I try to put on most TC cats

After the Tigerstar attack I love the idea she has tabby-like scars on one side of the face. Shredded ear, loss of vision in one eye. I also make it a point to always include her shoulder scar.

@runn1ngn0se Your Boy (scheme flavor)

Runningnose looks sticky, but it's all just natural markings. He's actually quite thick and fluffy (same build as Tangleburr).

His defining feature is that snot-streak, which is also just a very unfortunate birthmark.

He's pretty naturally dour. Serious expressions, gives the vibe that he's always analyzing you, he doesn't tend to speak unprompted. But he does smile a lot when Brokenstar's doing Evil Things with him.

He LOVES when he gets to start shit and hide in the fluff of his beloved supernatural manifestation of spite and rage. Special drawing of it since I already posted his full design waaay back.

Also side note Im obsessed with the cut disney song "Snuff Out The Light" right now and it feels like SUCH a Bonefall Runningnose anthem.

@elkpoint Flipclaw

So I mentioned Balding Lionblaze here because he's his grandpa! Flipclaw looks a LOT like him before he lost his hair. He's MEGA fuzzy. (In the rewrite though Fernsong is an ex-kittypet and Ivypool is Lionblaze's daughter)

I also can't imagine him as a brown tabby, he's this really nice brownish-gold color like a lion. His stripes are brown, though. He's also a total jokester, I think he was really close to his uncle Hollylark and misses him a lot.

Pictured is him saying, "look at me guys im walking like a twoleg!!" What a guy.

@purrsnickitty Hawkwing

I have always seen him as a mix between Tony Tiger and Batman. I am not sorry about this.

He is also a lynxpoint. When I make SkyClan cats I think of monkeys and aviator pilots for some reason, so they're all getting dextrous paws and prehensile tails.

His stripes are also all chevrons, and he's got TONS of tufts on his shoulders, ears, plus a puffy 'mane' that's part of the belly (don't ask me why it just reminds me of aviator jackets for some reason)

He is also an absolute unit.

@purrsnickitty Violetshine

Usually I need to do two sketches to get where I'm going with a design but not for Violetshine. First try, there she is. Monkey woman

Heart shapes for her, heart face, heart belly/mane. It also didn't come across well but her tail is LONG. Able to wrap around stuff easy. Mm, monkey.

I intended for there to be family resemblance because her and Hawkwing are bodied. They have LOTS of diameter. Complete volume.

@nightly-ruse Morningflower

Mentally I adopted your design of Morningflower because it's so good, but here's my old idea of her

Calico Morningflower my beloved

The coloring was difficult but I tried to communicate she has very little white. Most of her is bright orange and warm, sooty gray. She is the sister of Ashfoot (Onewhisker removed) so the gray is very important in my head.

I like WindClan cats to be very whispy, and they almost always have a white tail tip. Morningflower, instead, has an orange tip (which I may fix in another draft).

(I drew her training an apprentice, it was going to be Whitetail! But then I borked the eyes and it's pen so I can't fix it. She looks too scary. So I cropped her out OTL)

[thorniest-rose]

tagged by @gorgeousgreymatter-x ❤

rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words

thank you for tagging me grey!!! this is from an upcoming fic, where Steve and Eddie start hooking up during the events of S2.

Steve doesn't like to admit it, but maybe there was something about Eddie that intrigued him. He was a nerd, but he wasn't like the other dweebs at school. He had tattoos curling around his biceps and across his collarbone. Strange scars, including one on his face, dissecting his eyebrow and the corner of his mouth, like it had been flicked with a knife. He always wore black. Sometimes with a shock of red, or acid-green, but always black. And he had a gorgeous, long mane of dark hair. So thick and wild, like a beautiful, black wolf.

not tagging tons of people but will tag @alienfuckeronmain @wynnyfryd @azrielgreen @infinite-orangepeel @eddywoww <333

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Lycana (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- The She-Wolf, Mistress of the Moon by the people of Olympius

Mom by Lykos

My Darling by Pseudologos

Age- 49 (immortal)

Location- Arcadia Heights, New Olympus

Personality- She's fiercely loyal to those she cares about, but she doesn't sacrifice her individuality, adaptablility, & independence. She's been in a long term relationship for many years.

She has the standard abilities of a goddess. As the Titan goddess of lycanthropy her other powers/abilities include accelerated healing, truth sense, night vision, wallcrawling, being able to communicate with wolves & other canines, enhanced hearing and smell, werewolf physiology (can adapt any part of a werewolf to her physical form), lunar transformation (can completely shift into her werewolf form, but during a full or new moon), and lycanthropic infection- is able to infect others through a bite or scratch.

Lycana has one child- a daughter Lykos (goddess of wolves).

She lives on the top floor of the Mastêrios Manor, a luxury high rise apartment building in the Arcadia Heights neighborhood of New Olympus. Lycana owns her apartment instead of it being rent controlled. Her partner bought it for her. The color scheme of the interior design is silver, dark blue, violet, black, & gray with the majority of the flooring being dark gray mink carpeting. There's leather furniture with moonstone, lapis lazuli, obsidian, and lucite furniture pieces. A decorative silver wolf fur pelt hangs on her bedroom window. Lycana has three pet siberian huskies- all girls. Their names are Misty, Luna, & Sable.

Instead of a car, she primarily gets around in a sleek and sexy black motorcycle.

Lycana has some canine tendencies like growling when she's upset or frustrated & shaking water out of her hair.

She's allergic to wolfsbane.

She starts her day just before dawn with a run through Eaglepoint Park. Some time after the morning, she'll go to the Power Zone gym for a super intense high cardio workout.

For her long thick mane of curls, Lycana loves using the Glory's Crown coconut & hibiscus curl enhancing elixir.

A typical breakfast for her is steak (well done) with eggs (sunny side up) along with bacon and hash browns that she puts a ton of black pepper & hot sauce on top of. She'll also make caldo de costilla as well as a spread of bandeja paisa. She also likes the Golly Grains Choco O's cereal.

Lycana & her daughter have a deep unbreakable bond. She got preganant on her own with the fertility services of Gaia (goddess of the earth) and gave birth during a new moon. Lycana nurtured her daughter's own independence & the two visit and hang out often- whether it be a trip to the cinema, a run to The Frozen Spoon, or a late night run on the city's rooftops in their wolf forms.

She absolutely hates silver jewelry.

A go-to drink for her is a rum & coke. She also likes beer, red wine, buttery nipple shots, cosmopolitans, mojitos, berry sangrias, chocolate martinis, and blackberry margaritas. Usuals from The Roasted Bean is an olympian sized iced dark chocolate mocha & a medium berry mix splash.

Staples in her closet include leather jackets and thigh high boots.

Lycana generally doesn't wear makeup except for high class public events. Any other time she keeps it simple with mascara, eyeliner, & matte lipstick.

Her favorite piece of jewelry that she always wears is a 24K rose gold three banded lapis lazuli ring, a gift from her partner. Lycana shifts between wearing it on her ring and pointer finger.

She keeps her nails long, sharp, & manicured with her favorite nail polish colors from Olmorfia being "Color Me Nude" (a cream tan color), "Gunmetal Battle" (a dark silver color), and "Midnight Mantra" (a dark blue black color).

The most notable thing that happened in Lycana's godly career was when she aided Zeus (god of the sky, thunder, & lightning) in the punishment of Lycaon.

Chocolate crunch is her favorite ice cream flavor. At The Frozen Spoon she gets an olympian sized cup as well as the chocolate crunch ice cream cake.

Lycana is fluent in Latin.

She supports herself financially by modeling for/endorsing atelier fantaisie (Dione's shoe brand) and Heavenly Spark. There's a Heavenly Spark billboard of her downtown wearing a black lacy two-piece negligee.

Her favorite thing to get from The Bread Box is the spicy BBQ rib sandwich.

In the pantheon she's really good friends with Arktos (goddess of the night sky & constellations). They've gotten close especially since Arktos' son Urso (god of bears) is dating Lykos.

Lycana is also friends with Nyx (goddess of the night), Enyo (goddess of war, destruction, bloodlust, & devastation), Adikia (goddess of injustice & wrongdoing), Panigýri (goddess of festivals), Celaeno (one of The Pleiades), Poena (goddess of punishment), Ioke (goddess of pursuit, tumult, & battle rout), Aisa (goddess of lot & fate), Lethe (Titaness of forgetfulness, oblivion, & concealment), Amphillogia (goddess of arguments, disputes, & altercations), Menoetius (Titan god of rage, violence, & rash actions), Atë (goddess of mischief, ruin, blind folly, delusion, & downfall of heroes), Epimetheus (Titan god of afterthought), Asteria (Titaness of falling stars, astrology, magic, necromancy, & nocturnal oracles and prophecies), Isorropía (Isorro) (god of duality, balance, & equilibrium), Dolos (god of deception & treachery), and Psionikós (god of the mind).

She had a falling out with a former close friend Felis (Titaness of cats).

Her all time favorite dessert is the chocolate mousse pie from Hollyhock's Bakery.

Lycana is the main long term partner of Pseudologos (god of lies). Through every failed marriage & engagement of his, she's been a constant presence. Lycana is aware that he sees other women, but she's mostly confident about her place in his life, bed, and heart. She's the only one that accompanies him to his family dinners in Corinth. Lycana has even struck up a rapport with Pseudologos' brother Logos (god of stories).

She appreciates the other side that Pseudologos doesn't make public. The side where he's attentive, reflective, & vulnerable. A most recent shift in their relationship happened when he blurted out "I love you" during lovemaking. Of course Lycana said it back and when she tried talking about it with him a few days later, Pseudologos openly denied it, offering the excuse that he was high on lotus dust.

Lycana says that sex with Pseudologos is the best she ever had and she finds his coq au vin delicious.

The latest drama to enter their relationship has been when he told her that he was planning on shooting a video with Philotes (goddess of sex, friendship, & affection) for her adult website.

In her free time Lycana enjoys archery, martial arts, boxing, pilates, mountain climbing, hiking, reading (is a fan of mystery & action novels), watching TV, shopping, and dancing.

Her, Adikia, & Atë once went axe throwing!

She's even been a guest DJ at The Alpha Room, a popular BDSM themed nightclub.

Her all time favorite meal is arroz atollado.

"The tiger and lion may be more powerful, but the wolf doesn't perform in the circus."

[healthremedyhub]

💥 I Regrew My Luscious Locks with These 3 Natural Ingredients! 💚🌿

Was constantly vacuuming up hair strands and dealing with a sad, scraggly mane getting you down? 😔 I was there too until I discovered nature's magical hair growth trinity!

🍄 Biotin: This B-vitamin superhero strengthened my weak, breaking strands from the inside out and kickstarted a ton of new baby hairs! 👶

🌳 Rosemary Oil: Not just for cooking! This antioxidant powerhouse increased blood flow to my lazy follicles, leading to an explosion of fresh new growth. 🌱

🥜 Fenugreek Seeds: Loaded with follicle-nourishing proteins and minerals, these humble seeds brought my hair back to life with amazing volume, shine and length!

By harnessing the natural goodness of these 3 ingredients, I transformed my sad, thin situation into thick, lustrous locks - no nasty chemicals or expensive salon treatments required! 💸➡️🚫

If you've found this video helpful and informative, we'd love for you to show your support by hitting that like button down below. 👍 Your engagement really goes a long way in helping us continue creating high-quality content just for you.

And if you haven't already, be sure to hit that subscribe button as well! 🔔 Subscribing ensures you'll never miss out on our latest offerings - we're always working hard to bring you the best natural health tips and remedies.

By joining our community of dedicated followers, 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 you'll have access to even more valuable information to support your wellness journey. We truly appreciate you taking the time to watch and engage with our content.

So what are you waiting for? Hit those buttons, share this video with your friends, and let's keep this community growing! 🚀 Together, we can all unlock the power of nature and elevate our health to new heights. Thanks for being here, and we'll see you in the next one!

#HairGrowthHerbs #ThickHairDontCare #BiotinBeauty #RosemaryOilMagic #FenugreekForHair #ChemicalFreeHair #NaturalHairCare #HairHacks #HairGrowthJourney #LongerLocks #LushMane #HairGrowthTok #VolumeForDays #FullHairDon'tCare 💆‍♀️🌸💥

The information and content provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

The remedies and strategies discussed are based on research and traditional use, but individual results may vary. We do not claim that these natural remedies can cure or treat any specific medical condition.

The images, graphics, and video content used in this production are the intellectual property of their respective owners. We have made every effort to properly attribute and credit all sources, but if there are any inadvertent omissions or infringements, please let us know, and we will address them immediately.

This video is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to endorse or recommend any particular product, service, or treatment plan. Consult your healthcare provider before making any changes to your diet, supplement routine, or lifestyle.

[iamyelling]

i do think it's interesting that our shorthaired cat, astro, is very very fuzzy fluffy, and our longhaired cat, tortellini, is silky. since she's a longhair i was prepared for needing to really stay on top of brushing very regularly to prevent and break up mats but she's never got even the START of a mat. and i certainly have had months where i forgot to brush for a while. i'm just surprised! it's certainly quite nice that her coat just doesn't mat easily. it's hard to describe her coat, it's almost like it has very very little down at all, like she's got no poof no fuzz. she's got a fluffy tail and quite the bloomers haha she's got a fuzzy butt but that's it. like her coat is long but it's all flat and silky, and her mane isn't all that long either, certainly not as long as my childhood cat rose's - his mane was so long that sometimes i'd trim it for him bc it was so long that when he was washing it, and he'd pull his head all the way back, it'd still be stuck in his mouth! so i'd give him a nice trim, just enough to make it manageable for him, but keeping him looking good, he was very proud of being a tiny beautiful lion. now astro, he has a lot of fuzzy coat, very thick fur and he's not as silky soft at tortellini. they're both quite interesting in appearance! tortellini is the dilute tortie AND tabby - you can see her stripes on her forehead and tail, and she had belly spots as a kitten. now of course with her long belly fur you can't see the spots anymore but theyre still there i'm sure. and tortellini's nails are like very long and narrow, like i swear, twice the length of astro's. i have to clip hers or else she stabs poor solea .. and me lol. whereas astro's nails i never have to clip bc not only are they a more reasonable size just naturally, he doesn't even use them ever like he is SO gentle. he only uses them when he scratches his scratching boards or for traction control when zooming around. he is a Very Proper Boy you know!! i originally was clipping weenie's nails with a human nail clipper and she put up a whole fuss it was terrible torture and she would wail the whole time and flinch super hard. and then i remembered i bought a kitty cat claw trimmer that's like scissor style when i got astro years ago but i just never used it bc like he doesn't need his nails trimmed. so i've been using that with her lately and it's going so much better. i think bc her nails are SO long and pointy, the human clipper was like putting pressure or torsion or something and was maybe painful or at least very scary for her, and now that she's getting used to this new clipper she's not as afraid. so it must be an improvement in the experience for her. since it now slices through instead of squeezing and putting pressure on her claw.

now i just gotta get a big doggo-sized nail trimmer and get solea used to it so she doesn't have to chew on her nails and i can trim her dew claws for her (she chews all her nails except her dew claws). and that way annah and i don't fight about whether she's getting her nails trimmed often enough. and also then it won't feel so ridiculous paying money for someone to barely do anything bc most of her nails are chewed down already. i don't like the chewing too bc it's like imprecise and things get ripped and torn and it's not so good. what's hard though is almost all her nails are dark colored so i can't see the quick :/ and i don't know as much about dogs and nail anatomy as i do cats so it's scary for me i don't want to do it wrong or hurt her. and she of course doesn't enjoy nail trims so it makes it hard to be careful bc she's flinching and pulling back a ton. and i don't want to just force her through it bc that's bad and harmful for trust.

[ahorseofeverycolor]

It’s Toy Time Tuesday! With...Fashion Star Fillies Nikki! Well, more like the return of Nikki because she was already on here in a past TTT, but because I have just gotten her again as an upgrade, she re-appears. This is a true upgrade, about as perfect a Nikki as you can get. As you’ll note, that hair is the ‘fading posey pink’, and it is completely unfaded. Also, note the tip of the tail in perfect shape as well. (Long hair like that tends to frizz easily because kids tangle it up) The wave is still perfectly in the mane & her paint is in such excellent shape. (I do have her brush, a butterfly, but it doesn’t appear here nor do the front ankle cuffs--but she is missing a silver bow that went behind her ear) Nikki is a polo horse from Argentina. (I guess FSF horses play polo by themselves because they are people / characters--how do they hit the ball? Maybe it’s like soccer for them) She is the youngest of all of the adult Fashion Star Fillies.  She was only released twice, both in the same pose and the only difference was the color of her brush (pink or purple) and if she had a silky-fabric name-blanket with her or if she didn’t. Later releases had the blanket. She was also only 1 of 2 original fillies who only had 2 barrettes. The silver fabric for her bow and cuffs is prone to fabric-disease where the shiny-ness erodes off of it in blotches until it is all gone. The tail wrap uses actual tinsel-foil so it never erodes.  Nikki wasn’t an original who I bought new (ever) as I never found her in stores. I got her much later. Although she is purple (my favorite color) she was not my favorite of the originals (Dara is) Because these are air brushed toys, you can find her with more & less pink on the legs.  Fashion Stars are my absolute favorite line of fantasy horses. No one has ever outdone them because they are “perfected horses”. Their sculpt is extremely realistic, but without any of the “Flaws” of horses like veins on their face/elsewhere, rough lump-patches on their upper arms, wrinkly skin areas, or junk. They are such amazing fantasy colors, they are people/characters, they have tons of fun accessories that are fitting/not stupid,  the hair is SO thick and SO quality...every single thing about them seems amazing and was never out-done. They are 100% amazing.

[w3r3wolfboyfri3nd]

The Run and Go - A Werewolf Story

This is my half of a project I did with @hunter-moonshine where we each wrote our own separate stories while using the same prompt: We need to get to the valley as soon as possible, but the only way to get there in time is to go right through a human village!

(2,712 words)

Weaving between trees among the thick woods, two werewolves in tandem left tracks in the dirt. The chirping of distant birds and the cheerful chatter between the beasts were the only sounds that broke the peaceful silence. Though the canopy of leaves above them kept them shaded, the sun was just past the center of the sky as midday passed them. A day from the turn of the seasons. A day from the equinox festival.

Ah, the equinox festival, a tradition that spans a hundred generations. A celebration of nature and Her gentle change, of the moon and Her faithful protection and guidance. A celebration of kith and kin, filled with feasting and dancing, hunting and sparring. A celebration of life, and the life that has been lost to the season. Such is a time of great joy, love of the self and nature, so much as to fill the valley it is held in to the brim with the elated howls of every werewolf that attends. An open invitation is given with great honor to every werewolf that is born, and this year, these two were going to attend.

The reddish one looked around at the unfamiliar foliage, her ears cocked. “Rebel, where are we, exactly?”

“Taking a shortcut,” the brown-furred one replied. “I haven’t taken this shortcut since I was a tiny pup with my dad, but it’ll get us to the valley in time.”

Hunter tried to shake the odd feeling off of her. “I don’t know, something feels off.”

“You worry too much, Hunter. C’mon, there’s a clearing up ahead. It’s got a ton of scattered wildflower patches, you’ll love them!”

Rebel hustled ahead, shoving his way through the bushes. Hunter rolled her eyes at her friend’s enthusiasm and sped up to follow.

With a frantic rustle, Rebel burst back through the foliage, eyes wild, crashing into Hunter and knocking them both to the ground. Rebel laid his weight on Hunter, pressing her against the dirt as flat as he could. “Stay down! Humans!” he whispered.

“What?”

Rebel got up cautiously, motioning over to the bushes and sticking his head through. Hunter did the same.

The clearing Rebel had described was now filled with buildings and houses. Humans were bustling along their cobbled roads, carrying goods and dragging children behind them. The clattering of hooves and footsteps mixed in the air with nonsense shouts. A river ran straight through it, trailing out of sight in both directions.

Rebel’s ears were flat against his skull, his lips pulled back into a grimace. “This… This wasn’t here when I was a pup.”

Hunter furrowed her brow. “Okay, let’s just go around and swim across the river.”

“We can’t, the current’s too strong. There used to be a huge beaver dam we could’ve crossed, but these humans plopped their town right on top of it.” Rebel pulled his head out of the bush and started pacing, head low and brows knit. “We can’t go around far enough to where the river calms, it’ll take too long.” He sat, his expression hardening. “We have to go through town.”

Hunter nearly started to laugh, but seeing Rebel’s face, she quickly realized that he was serious. Glancing over her shoulder to the town, she gave a slight shrug. If there was no other option, then why not?  She ducked behind some trees and soon popped out in the form of a human with a wild mane of flaming red hair and worn clothes. She stood with her hands on her hips and a proud grin on her face.

Rebel stood, grumbling. “Well, some of us don’t have a human form, thank you kindly.” He looked over to the edge of town, at a distant clothesline. “Hang on.”

He sunk low to the ground, keeping behind shrubbery as he stalked towards the unattended clothes. Finally within reach, he quickly snatched the first few things he could grab from it and hurried back to where Hunter waited.

He laid out the clothes he’d gathered. A sheet, two wash rags, and a pair of pants in thin fabric. Not his first choice, if he’d truely had one, but it would do.

Hunter sat against a tree and watched as her still-furred friend tore the rags into strips and wrapped his feet in them until his paws were hidden. He ripped and tied certain parts of the sheet until it functioned as a reasonable hooded cloak, covering down to his knees. He slid on the pants and stuffed his tail down one of the legs. Holding the cloak closed, Hunter found that he would actually pass as human if you offered no more than a glance--and that was all they truly needed. She offered him a nod of approval, and he returned it with a small smile.

They headed out of the forest and towards the village. They hesitated for just a moment as they reached the start of the cobbled road, and exchanged an understanding look as they set foot upon it, locking themselves to this choice.

They were, in truth, a slightly odd sight; a girl with an uncombed mess of hair, a man encased fully in a cloak, hunched over to try to stifle his near-inhuman height, both looking as if they’d just returned to civilization after years in the woods. But nothing beats the nosiness and curiosity of humans like apathy, and these townsfolk were busy with much more important things than this pair. Not a soul seemed to give these canines a second look, most not offering a first. They shuffled around humans and their offspring with relative ease, though their hearts were in their throats with every step.

Rebel stopped abruptly in his tracks, gripping Hunter’s shoulder. “Hunter.”

“Yeah?”

“No, a beast hunter! Over there,” he said, gesturing to a man in a furred cloak a stone’s throw off.

Hunter focused her eyes on him, spotting the Ambrosia Hunter’s guild symbol on his cloak pin. Her throat tightened. The Ambrosia guild was the single most notorious hunter’s guild this side of the ocean. They offered their services to any townsfolk that found a “monster” to be bothering them or their town. They had a plethora of knowledge on hunting creatures like Rebel and Hunter, though not a drop of an idea about their value as beings. Any sight of their symbol would turn any beast’s blood cold, or to a rolling boil.

“Hide, Rebel! Don’t let him see you!” she said, shoving Rebel into the alleyway adjacent to them. 

As Rebel scrambled to get to his feet and hide, Hunter looked back to see the beast hunter approaching her, his hand raised to gather her attention. “Excuse me, miss?” 

Hunter glanced to the alley, relieved to see no sight of her more obviously beastial friend. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, though, as the beast hunter approached. She took a breath and attempted to steel herself. The beast hunter loomed over her, casting her entirely in shadow. His dark hair was cut jaggedly and his eyes were deep-set in a rugged face. Chain mail shined under a leather breastplate like the scales of a deadly dragon. His sword hung sheathed at his hip. Looking at the scars that dotted his face, she could not help but wonder what scared and desperate creature like her left them there in nothing more than an attempt to live.

“Pardon me, miss,” he said in a voice that rattled like a hollow log. “I’m here on behalf of my guild. Have you any knowledge of werewolves nearby?”

Hearing the word “werewolves” come from his mouth left a sickly rage in her stomach. Her mind flashed with the urge to rip his tongue from his mouth for speaking of her kind, on behalf of all living things that mother nature and the moon have blessed. But she held this all in her chest.

“My ma says werewolves aren’t real,” she replied calmly. “Says they’re made up to frighten children and keep them inside at night.”

The beast hunter cocked an eyebrow? “Is that what your ma said? Because I can assure you they are very real,” he said gravely. He glanced around. “What about your companion that was here? Has he heard of anything?”

“I’ve no clue what you’re on about. It’s only me here.” Hunter lied with an assured voice but kept her lips tight to hide her fangs.

The beast hunter leaned down, reaching out to Hunter’s shoulder. The disguised werewolf forced herself not to flinch as he plucked a tuft of brown fur off of her tunic. He eyed it carefully, then furrowed his brows at her, trying to force eye contact. Hunter kept her gaze elsewhere.

“Your eyes are a bit odd, miss--”

“Hey!” A gruff-voiced stranger said, shouldering the beast hunter away from Hunter. “Have you got some reason to be harassing this one in the street? Be on your damned way, you’re clogging the road!”

The stranger looked up to meet the beast hunter dead in the eye, clutching onto his crate of apples with white knuckles. The beast hunter held the stare for a moment, then backed off with a subtle scowl, sending Hunter one last suspicious glance before he left. The stranger huffed and walked away as well, grumbling to himself about the rampant self-importance of the Ambrosia Hunter’s Guild members.

Hunter let out the breath she’d been holding and went down the alley she’d hurried Rebel into. She started searching inside open barrels and behind stacks of crates, calling quietly for him.

“Hunter!”

Hunter jumped, letting out a small yelp. Somewhere far off, somebody shouted for their dog to shut up. Hunter turned to see a smiling Rebel hidden under a pile of animal hides on a flat cart.

She sighed, lightly smacking him on the nose. “Don’t startle me like that!”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize this hiding spot worked that well. But look!” He pulled his head in and closed his eyes. “You can pull the cart through the rest of town, the beast hunter won’t see me!” He grinned. “I can hide in the hides!”

Hunter crossed her arms, examining her friend imitating a pelt. It was better than having him walk in the open. “Y’know what, I bet it’ll work.”

She grabbed the handle of the cart and started off, grunting with effort before getting into a steady pace.

The townsfolk made room for the cart, though many now offered Hunter a surprised or even impressed glance at a human her size pulling a cart by herself. Here the population was much denser as they neared the center. Hunter’s hands started to sweat under the eyes of the passerby, though none said a word to her.

Rebel kept himself as still as possible, laid out flat between the pelts. Here in the middle of town, the hustling noise hurt his ears. The sharp clack of horse hooves, the creak of other carts, the footsteps and shouts of humans, it all surrounded him like a cloud, stabbing at his head. He felt himself become restless from the overwhelming harsh sounds, but he forced himself to not move, to not react. Very slowly, he brought himself inward more to protect his senses, pulling his ears shut. The feeling of all the eyes that grazed the two only made him more tightly wound.

The pair continued through the town when they spotted more people in dark fur cloaks, chatting with each other and other members of the town. Each of them sporting the Ambrosia Guild’s symbol somewhere on them. Rebel spotted one nearby, the muscles tensing as his snout nearly brushed the leg of one of them as they passed. Like most of them, that beast hunter reeked of death, rotten meat, and dried blood, hardly masked by flowery-scented oils and sword polish. It was a scent that left a sickly feeling in both Rebel’s and Hunter’s stomachs.

They reached the bridge over the river, now in a line of other carts heading in the same direction. Hunter spotted the first beast hunter she’d encountered standing a few yards down the river bank. She kept moving, all of her muscles tensed, her heart beating in her ears.

“Stop! Thief!”

Hunter whipped around, seeing two men running towards her. “She stole our hides! Stop her!”

Hunter stopped pulling the cart, causing it to crash into the one behind them. Rebel’s tail was crushed between the carts, and he sharply yelped in pain. The old beast hunter instantly noticed the sound, and locked eyes with Rebel as he scrambled to yank his tail out of the wedge. The beast hunter unsheathed his sword and started towards them. All around them dogs barked like mad and humans screamed, stumbling in their attempts to get away as hunters only approached from all sides, aiming crossbows and unsheathing swords.

Rebel quickly freed his tail and lept out of the cart, grabbing Hunter by the collar as he started to run. He sprinted over the bridge and down the main road, tossing Hunter onto his back. He felt her grip tightly onto his fur and leaned forward as he sped up.  In the midst of the madness, the shrieks of the people he dodged around, the scent of the beast hunters coming from every corner, Rebel felt his hackles raise as he shook the berserker madness out of his head. Crossbow bolts whizzed by them, nearly grazing them and lodging in barrels and buildings. 

Hunter lifted her eyes a bit and spotted the forest on the other side. She let go with one arm and pointed. “Look, Rebel! We’re almost there, keep going!”

Rebel glanced up at the forest and felt it start to spur him on, until he saw that two beast hunters had gathered at the town’s exit, surrounded by upturned carts in a makeshift barricade. With freedom so close, Rebel only sped up. Jumping up onto a fruit stand and leaping as high as he could, Rebel and Hunter sailed over the barricade. He landed roughly on his feet and kept running until he entered the forest. He grabbed Hunter off of his back and clutched her to his chest as he dove into a patch of thorn bushes surrounding a huge tree, shielding her human-form skin from the sharp thorns. He crawled as low as he could, hiding in a burrow under the tree’s roots.

Hunter and Rebel stayed perfectly still, listening to Rebel’s tired panting as they tried to detect anyone that followed. Soon, the two held their breath as they heard footsteps approaching. Through the brush, they saw four sets of boots all gathered together, and heard the voices of the hunters asking where the werewolves had gone. None of them could tell, and after one of them threw their sword to the ground in frustration, they headed back to town.

The pair waited until the footsteps and scent were too far away to notice, then Rebel crawled out of the burrow. He carefully looked around, peering over to the town. Seeing nobody anywhere near them, he crawled out of the thorn bushes. “It’s all clear, Hunter, come on out.”

Hunter emerged in her werewolf form. She shook the tension out of her body and sat. “Y’know, I could’ve run away too. You didn’t have to carry me.”

“Two werewolves are a bigger target than one. Not to mention, two werewolves wouldn’t have fit in that hidey-hole.” Rebel stretched. “Though I’ll admit, I really wasn't thinking much at all at that moment.”

“Yeah, I can understand that.” She glanced back at the town. “We can take the long way back home, right?”

“Absolutely,” Rebel said with a tired chuckle. He started off further into the woods. “Let’s get out of here, yeah?”

“Alright, but put us in a situation like that again and I’ll turn you into an actual pelt,” Hunter said jokingly, bumping into Rebel’s shoulder as she caught up.

“I think that’s fair, honestly,” Rebel replied with a small smile.

There was still a fair way to travel to reach the festival, but both wolves felt assured that it wouldn’t be nearly as eventful as that afternoon. And luckily for them, they were right.

[muscle-worlds-stories]

Hey! Love your work, great stories and awesome that you take requests! Do you mind helping me out? 32 year old diabetic and I am tired of the medicine and just want to live a happy healthy life. Maybe some age regression and of course tons of muscle if you have some to spare! Thanks for everything you do!

I totally get where you're coming from! Having a medical condition always squishes any hope of being like everyone else and it can be daunting. I'm gonna help you out and make you feel amazing!

So first off, let's shed some years off of your body. Since you're 32 at the moment, I think making you 24 will be great. You'll have the youthful body but also the chance to party and drink at a responsible age. Your flat brown hair begins to curl and darken. A nice moppy mane flows down your head giving you a surfer vibe. Let's have your face have a little structure and give you a nice chiseled jaw and a sweet goatee. Looking good so far!

Now your body — its pretty frail cause of the former condition of diabetes but your a healthy man now, so your body should reflect that. You now go to the gym 7 days a week, and you take it seriously too. Your arms now have those massive guns, and your veins travel up those big boys too. You're gonna also have an impressive chest, with round pecs and a slight dusting of hair but still very smooth and bouncy pecs.

Damn your looking mad sexy right now man, but I'm gonna give you some more goods. You'll have a soothing deep voice that will make any person quiver in your vicinity. Also, you're gonna be an amazing lover. Not only will you be smooth with anyone you talk to, your once shriveled penis will become a long, thick member that anyone that gets to 3rd base will be in shock with what comes next.

Alright I believe that your all set. You can take off that glucose sensor on your arm, cause you won't need it. It might be hard cause of your thick tricep but you won't have any trouble taking it out. Now go enjoy life as a younger, sexier version of yourself you've always thought you were!

[mitamicah]

Spoilers from both Trollhunters the book and Trollhunters the series!

While reading the book I was really impressed with how many differences there were between the character so I have worked on giving my take on six characters from both media, book vs series, and how they differ from each other :3 

I should mention that while there was illustrations in the book I tried for the challenge not to copy those but follow along the describtions in the book - when possible - to give my own interpretation of the characters ^v^ 

Steve

First up we have Steve. Starting out as the stereotypical bully in both version their paths seperates quickly resulting in two different ending for the musuclar blond Jorgensen-Warner is the book version of Steve. Here's how he is described from our first encounter with him: "He was handsome but in the oddest way- He eyes were too small and his nose piggish: he had a ridiculous amount of hair and a couple of teeth that looked like fangs. Yet somehow in combination these features were sort of mesmerising. His unnatural muscular bulk and odd way of speaking -crisply, politely, as if he were a foreign student who had learned English in class - completed the strange package." page 21-22 For his outfit I went with the description of him on page 224 "[my clothes] ... didn't cast me in the best light when compared to Steve Jorgensen-Warner, who looked rather rakish in blue jeans and a shirt - definitely not a blouse - opened to the third button. He dribbled the ball casually with his left hand." The bold passages is added by me   This Steve is later revealed to be a changeling aka a troll   Before we go on: can any of you explain to me what a "ridiculous amount of hair" even means :'D? I had a lot of trouble with this prompt because isn't this so darn subjective :'D? and the official art look way less ridiculous than I'd figure it'll be :'D x'D Palchuk is the series version of Steve. His facial appearance being way less specific (I'd say he has normal sized eyes, a big roman nose and some more or less normal teeth) and his way of speaking is definitely not polite. Like book Steve, this Steve starts out with pushing smaller guys into lockerrooms yet after that he becomes way less of a terrifying bully and much more of a silly goose who brings a lot of the comic relief in my opinion Douxie says it best in Wizards when he calls Steve the "village idiot" x'D I do not recall seeing Steve being that sporty in the show, he is much more interested in becoming homecoming king  no basketballs around x'D While book Steve is revealed to be the enemy (a troll) series Steve joins the "good guys" creating the creepslayerz with the character Eli Pepperjack

Blinky

Blinky is just called Blinky in the book  Here's a bit of description of him "The third [troll] had scarlet eyes, eight of them on long stems. (...) The thing from my house glided toward me with a surprising grace for something with an indetermined number of legs, all of which were hidden behind a patched kilt scaled with layers of medals, prizes and trophies and award ribbons. An incalculable tangle of tentacles twined around one another as if dying to squeese something to death. As it passed the oven, the firelight revealed olive-green skin, reptilian texture, and lacquer of slime lubricating its undulating appendages Its moth a horizontal gash.. " The bold passages is added by me   So yeah this Blinky is quite something :'D I stopped caring to draw tentacles after a while but overall this was silly but fun to draw  since his teeth later is described as big as traffic cones I believe he must be very tall :'D Also he's close to blind   Has a bit of a dirty mouth but in a very "read" way if it makes sense :'D cannot seem to stop calling Jim dimwitted and tiny and Tobias big :'D Blinky's full name in the series is Blinkus Galadrigal  he has six eyes instead of eight and they are all working just fine, thank you very much x'D His tons of tentacles and legs has been replaced by four arms and two legs and while he is still olive-green he is now made of tone like texture just like the other trolls  the kilt turned into shorts and he is quite a bit smaller now not even as tall as Jim  He still has this very academic way of speaking yet he is way nicer to Jim calling him "Master Jim" instead of "the short one" x'D

ARRRGH!!!

Book ARRGHHH!!!s full name is Johannah Mmmm ARRRGH!!! and she is a pretty big deal warrior among the trolls in the book - she's so badass in fact Blinky has decided to call her by her last name to honor her for her deeds for trollkind   Here's a qoute from the book describing her appearance   "The goliath emerged from the tunnel as comfortably as a dog from a doghouse, coarse black fur pouring into the chamber before I could make out any actual arms or legs (...) Even beneath the fur I could see loops of muscles flexing. (...) ARRRGH!!! was built like a gorilla but three times larger: Two arms, two legs, and, thankfully, just two eyes. Horns, curled like those of a ram (...) The thing's orange eyes cast about with animal perceptiveness, and it used its snout and sniffed. Its jaws fell open to reveal a purple, slavering mouth armed with haphazard daggers of teeth." Page 75-76 The bold passages is added by me   (Also worth mentioning: the qoute is from before the protagonist knows of ARRRGH!!!'s gender which is why he calls her an 'it') At other times in the story we learn that ARRRGH! has quite scarred arms and really wishes for better tooth hygeine; so much so that Tobias actually end up making her a brace out of chicken wire :'D Idk I find it quite adorable :'D Now unto the serie's ARRRGH!!! - first up he is male, his name is Arghaumont and he is famous for another reason than Johannah: he was a general of Gunmar but retreated from the war making him a traitor to his people yet a hero for the good trolls in the series. Series ARRRGH!!! is likewise built like a gorilla but made of stone and having a mane long and green like it is moss  his horns is way smaller and less curvy and his teeth hygeine is never brought up  also his face is way less dog like x'D 

Tobias 

Book Tobias' full name is Tobias M. Dershowitz yet he is going by 'Tubby' or 'Tub'. Here is a describtion of him from the book: "You could call Tobias Dershowitz chubby, if you were being cute, or husky if you were being diplomatic. The fact is he was fat, and that was only the beginning of his problems. His hair was a thick, orange, out-of-control hedge. His face spilled over with the kind of freckles that make kids like Tub look like overgrown toddlers. Worst of all were his braces, marvels of modern torment: whips of stainless steel crisscrossing each tooth seperately and lashed to a dozen silver fasteners. The braces clicked so much when he spoke, you expected sparks. At least he was tall..." page 27 The bold passages is added by me   The outfit I went with is described on page 259 like this: "He stood in the driveway decked out in his best approximation of a ninja: black tennis shoes, black sweatpants, a black hoodie, a belt made from a red curtain sash, and an oversize fanny pack holding his gear (...) It was unfortunate that the fanny pack was lime green..." To describe Tub is a bit difficult because sadly he is not much in the story as I'd liked - mostly he is being quite serious and let us know he is not happy by being sidelined not speaking troll nor being invited on hunts which I completely understand tbh :'D What I do find interesting is how Tub and series Jim has seem to have switched roles a little bit: In the series Jim is the one giving a speech about how he is insecure about his place in life and how he wants more - in the book this is Tub in more than one occassion: "We have to accept who we are. And before you ask, I'll tell you. We're nobody. We have no life. We have nothing to look forward to. We're not special. I just want it to go away. All of it. The stupid being scared. Doesn't it seem we've been scared forever?" page 37 "Jim, you're wrong. We were meant to do this. This is exactly what we've been waiting for. They've chosen us. Of all people! Us! (...) Jesus, Jim, take a look at my life! You know what I'm worth! To anyone? Zero! Nothing! I'm a fat loser and will always be a fat loser. Until this. This is like a present. Full of, man, I don't know. Hope?..." page 196 (talking about trollhunting here btw) Oh yeah and book Tobias gets this badass scene where he uses his dentist's tool to kill trolls I loved that   Now series Tobias is way different :'D first up his name is Tobias Domzalski and his nicknames are Toby and Tobes. He is way shorter and has more neat hair (what is it with the series neating up the hair :'D? x'D). He also seems way cheerier and pretty happy with his place in life more or less  Unlike Tub, Toby is in it from the start being an important player in the story   He doesn't have the same drive to be something more than he is as Tub has instead Toby is going with the flow starting out quite afraid of everything troll and ended up being as brave as the rest of the team *tbh Jim's scared out of his wits too so they mimic each other x'D* Where Tub has dentist tools Toby gets a badass hammer so I'll say its an upgrade  

Claire

First off we have Claire Fontaine, a foreign student from no other than Scotland with a taste for military clothing and liqourice   Here's how she's described in the book   "She tucked her long dark hair behind her ear and left ir with an adorable smudge of white dust. I thought she was beautiful, though she wasn't in the classic sense. The popular girl would say she wasn't skinny enough. They would also point to the fact that she didn't wear makeup or do anything to tame that hair. And her clothes -well, what could be said about her clothes? Her boots were not sexy and knee-high: in fact, they were ankle-high and rubber-soled and looked picked from military surplus racks, an array of pea-green coats and multi-coloured slacks, all of which looked as if they'd been through actual World War II combat. And that beret she wore before and after school wasn't of the look-at-me-I'm Frensh variety: it was more in the style of I'm-going-to-invade-your-country-and-be-your-new-dictator. Only one thing didn't make sense: that bright pink, exceedingly girlish backpack that inexplicably hadn't one anti-establidh patch sewn onto it (...) Oh, I forgot to mention that Claire Fontain came from the UK. That's right- the girl had an accent. I think you are starting to get the picture." page 30-1 The bold passages is added by me It is hinted at that Claire is quite tall and a great deal taller than Jim (more when I get to him) and she is actually a whole year older than Jim since they both have birthday May 2 but Claire is 16 while Jim is 15  Since Trollhunters in this story is not a "protected title" (aka the chosen hero type) Claire ends up being one herself even though nobody even herself didn't know: AND. SHE. KICKS. BUTT! She's even better than the guy that had 40+ years experience so yeah safe to say she's badass :'D Even before that she has a hilarious scene calling out Steve in the wildest shitstorm of Scottish slang I lived for it x'D She's described quite a few times with lots of bracelets, sometimes made of wire so I gave her a bit of both   She's not really a part of the popular group but has her own thing going on   Now onto Claire Nuñez the series' version of this badass   Here Claire is hispanic and pretty much one of the most popular girls seen around  her style is way more ... I've called it punk rock in purple but Idk exactly what to call it x'D she's shorter than Jim and slimmer looking than her book counterpart   She enters the story not as a trollhunter but as a victim of having her brother stolen by changelings and as time progresses she becomes a fastlearning and quite competent sorcerer dealing in shadow magic   Unlike Fontaine, Nuñes is seen wearing make up, shorter hair with dye in it and hair clips instead of bracelets  

Jim 

First up we have book Jim. His full name is James Sturges Jr. and lives with his single parent, his dad, after his mother went away the day before his birthday in start May and never returned. Sturges Sr. had been traumatized loosing his brother to trolls although none of the characters didn't know this yet - only Senior had seen the creatures making him paranoid and in turn making Jim very embarrased about his father. At the same time Jim seems to honestly worry for his father and his behavior too makes Jim very cautious and fearful a character. Book Jim is pretty much a typical teenager for the most part  He is seen to be a tad clumsy and not exactly brave really. And the author's choice of basically not describing him anywhere made my job way harder trying to be book accurate :'D So I've mostly inspired him of the official illustrations in the book   Here's what I could find about our little trollhunter   First off: he's a short fellow  that is first mentioned on page 14; "Sunshine is important for growing boys." (...) "I am not growing" I took after my dad when it came to size and was still waiting for that growth spurt everyone kept raving about. "In fact I think I'm shrinking." This is brought up most of everything Jim through the movie from him not being able to reach a point of a chalkboard (page 32) to people's dissapointing sighs taking meassurements when he is chosen as Romeo (107) and him wearing super high heels for the same reason (224) but also Blinky directly calling him a "little fellow" (page 127) On page 27 we learn that he is getting a bruise on his chin after being slammed into his locker by Steve  Lockers he has been thrown into enough to have learned to open them on the inside :'D He is a skinny fella which Tobias so politely call "lack of muscletone" due to "glandular" at page 120 He is not very good at anything describing his room full of stuff from hobbies he tried and failed at (page 63) The longest describtion about his appearance is probably page 105: "I lowered my eyes and regarded the chewed, dirty fingernails holding my script, thes scuffed shoes on my feet, and realized that these were the symbols of my pityful life: worn-out, insignificant, ready to be thrown beneath Dad's industrial mower" It pretty much says it all when this is the longest quite I could find :'D For the outfit I mostly went by the small describtion on page 89-90: "I tucked the medallion beneath my shirt. After a full day of wearing it, maybe the rest of the suffocating fear would go away too. My plan was to dart into the kitchen, grab my sweatshirt and be out of the house. " I added jeans since he is said to wear jeans on page 283 - the medallion sneak out beneath the sweatshirt/shirt on page 97 which is why I added it on top here as well   Now since there's a bit more to both versions of Jim due to their role as the protagonist I've added in a little extra features here being the medallion in the book vs the amulet in the series and the weaponry given to the characters   For Sturges we have the medallion who's described like this: "It was a bronze medallion conntected to a rusty chain. It was engraved with a foreboding crest: a hideous, snarling face; indecipherable markings of a sevage language, and a magnificent long-sword across the bottom." page 9 The medallion is treated like it is a common artefact if a bit rare in the book - its purpose is to translate trollspeak for the wearer. Jim is giving two swords in the book; a rusty longsword he calls Clairesword (do I need to explain this one?) and a cutlass he calls Cat #6 after the one cat at Tobias' house that liked Jim  x'D For Sturges' personality my feeling about him is that he is a bit more ... passive than his series counterpart. He is not really standing up for himself that much and would rather blend into the background. This qoute from Claire sums him up pretty nicely I believe   "You're a good person, Mr. Sturges. A bit gloomy, but good" page 246 I do like that Jim in this version is a Taurus  (I am a taurus too x'D) born on May 2nd so that's a plus   It is probably also worth mentioning that in this world trollhunters aren't a chosen hero type like in the series: trollhunters or paladin was once a title held by many warriors yet now there's very few left. Sturges was a proud paladin family making Jim a chosen candidate for the honor of becoming a trollhunter but he is not the only one - or even the best - in the book. In fact out of the three trollhunters we learn about I'll say Jim is the weakest (and he is not even the least trained; ouch :'D) Jim doesn't get a nice armour like his series counterpart either but is seen in the illustrations wearing a blue hoodie (like the one in the little doodle)   The full name of Jim in the series is James Lake Jr. He is the child of a single parent and lives with his mother whom Jim "mothers a lot" (Tobias' words in the first episode) This Jim is pretty "tall for his age" (Jim's own words uttered quite a few times across all three series) yet with quite skinny legs (he is called out for this by multiple characters). He is much more competent in life than his book counterpart being an exceptional cook, good at Spanish, seemingly alright in PE and at school he seems to stand pretty good if only holding himself back. Unlike book Jim, series Jim seems much more active and longing to be something more than he is - he is seen to be quite brave and protective of his friends, very kind and selfless. Also even from the start he seems much more nimble than his book counterpart being able to climb the robe (a feat book Jim didn't do before later) and with his training as trollhunter he becomes even more badass   Trollhunter status in the series is way more important since the title is given to only one chosen warrior of Merlin chosen by the amulet of daylight (the medallion in the book). This also makes the amulet way more special and important in the series which probably explains its shine up from rusty bronze thing to silver and blue. While Lake Jr doesn't have named sword he does have a magical armour and sword made of daylight   We do not know the exact birthday of Lake Jr but the creators have replied to a fanquestion saying it would be around fall especially October so by that estimate Jim is probably a scorpio  pretty far from the before mentioned taurus in the book   While Jim Lake Jr isn't seen with long lasting bruises in the original series he does get two more permanent scars in Wizards  

[whittakerjodie]

The Carriage Ride (13th Doctor X Reader)

For: The wonderful Jenny, @myghostmonument​ , as part of the secret Santa exchange for the Thirsting For Thirteen server. 

Words: 2.4k

A/N: Happy secret Santa, Jenny! I am so glad to know you and have the privilege of writing a piece for you <3 I hope that you enjoy this and the funny little alien names! 

“Wish we could’ve arrived with the first snowfall,” The Doctor said sadly. 

The two of you had decided to take a solo trip together. Yaz was feeling a bit tired and needed to see her sister for a bit. There was an opportunity for you, too, to take a small break on Earth. But the idea of spending time with the Doctor one-on-one was much more appealing than the pulls of daily life.

“I think it’s alright, still,” You said, defending your current scenario. The planet where you’d landed was still absolutely stunning. Even with a couple inches of snow covering most features, it was easy to appreciate that which you could see. The sky was a light lavender, darkest in the areas where there were clouds. Delicate flecks of snow fluttered to the ground, adding to the previously built layers.

It was beautiful, and you were happy to be there. The Doctor had explained the planet and it’s fun little backstory on the ride over, but truthfully, you’d not been paying attention. You knew it was Christmas, or at the very least a Christmas-adjacent holiday for the locals. The aesthetic certainly fit the bill, something you were sure was what persuaded the Doctor to bring you there.

“Yeah?” the Doctor asked, seeking a little extra validation. You nodded, giving it to her easily. She certainly deserved it, after the tough time you’d all had recently. “Well, good. There’s tons to do here. Hot cocoa- or, something that tastes like it at least. Sledding, carriage rides…”

“Oooh, like a horse drawn carriage?” You asked. The Doctor nodded. She stepped closer to you, linking her arm through yours as she led you towards an unknown destination.

“Not horse drawn, qauwukdeen drawn!” she said cheerfully. You scoffed.

“Say that five times fast.” When the Doctor opened her mouth, you clarified: “not actually, just a funny name. So what do they look like.”

“Like horses.” The Doctor replied bluntly. You laughed.

“So, just horses with a funny name then. Interesting.” 

Despite their format matching that of an Earth horse, the creatures still deviated in appearance. It’s mane seemed to be a collage of differently colored tentacles, all twisting and flowing with a mind of their own, without consideration for the wind. It was beautiful, like watching a rainbow solidify and dance. It’s hair was a mint green, mixing nicely with the snow it was walking through. There was only one per carriage, but the Doctor explained that the qauwukdeen were born with an immense strength. Pulling a carriage solo would be the equivalent of a feather for the creature.

It was a few minutes wait so that the qauwukdeen could eat a nice meal, but you didn’t mind. The Doctor's arm was still linked with yours, which was a welcomed, warm presence. Other couples smiled at you as they passed on their way to other festivities. Your face warmed then, too. Other couples. Implying that you and the Doctor were one.

Eventually, it was your turn to go on the carriage ride. You winced when you saw how big the step up was. Luckily, the Doctor was more than willing to help. Standing behind you, she gently set both of her hands on your waist. You jumped a little at the blazing hot, unexpected contact. The Doctor didn’t seem to notice your blip. If she did, she only used it to her advantage to successfully lift you up into the carriage.

Feeling bold and as if you should return the favor, you offered your hand to the timelord once you were in your seat. She accepted it with a wide grin, leaving her hand in yours once she was able to pull herself up. The two of you sat comfortably in the carriage, and it began to pull you off into the luscious, thick forest. It was rather dark, but the moonlight reflected on the snow to provide enough visibility. You gasped as the qauwukdeen pulled you farther and farther away from the town, giving you a tour of the incredible mountain passes that surrounded it. The landscape was beyond incredible. The Doctor was a little bit more relaxed, being accustomed to alien scenery.

Unfortunately, the relaxation didn’t last long. Almost a half an hour into the ride, you suddenly felt tense. By that point, you’d naturally gravitated towards the Doctor and were leaning your weight into her. Because of this, she could feel your tension. She pulled back, frowning. “What’s wrong?” She asked. You shrugged, looking at the scenery around you. Everything just suddenly seemed a little darker, a little colder. Interestingly enough, the qauwukdeen seemed to share your feelings. It slowed it’s pace ever so slightly. The decrease in footfall made it easier for you to pick up on the new movements. Something was coming out of the forest, towards you.

Even your high nerves paled in comparison to those of the qauwukdeen, which began to buck and cry out, fighting to get away from whatever mysterious creature was approaching. Unfortunately, it was partially attached to the carriage. While it attempted escape, it took you with it, throwing you into a sequence of movements that could only be described as chaos.

Your stomach swung in time with the carriage as you were thrown from side to side, the qauwukdeen taking off at a breakneck pace. The Doctor tried to grab onto you to stabilize both of your movements, but it was no use. The carriage, in the midst of moving so chaotically, suddenly collided with one of the many thick trees of the forest. You let out a loud yelp as you were tossed from your seat into the snow. It was a soft landing, thankfully, but the cold was jarring nonetheless.

You spat the snow out of your mouth with a disgusted groan, shifting your wait so that you were sitting upward. Unfortunately, the movement seemed to connect something in your body and you were suddenly aware of an intense pain in your foot. Hissing, you tried to bring it closer as some form of comfort to yourself. It did nothing to ease the pain.

You could hear more footsteps on snow, drawing closer, and were very happy to note that it was the Doctor coming towards you. Her face was contorted with concern, snow falling off of her as she ran to meet you on the ground.

“Alright?” She asked, brushing some of the snow off you. As the pain began to spread, you shook your head quickly. The Doctor carefully inspected your foot with a deep frown. “Not broken, thankfully, but it went through quite a bit in the crash.”

“What about you?” You asked. Then, you gasped when your eyes fell on a large mark on her face. “Amazing, actually, considering. Don’t worry about the face, just the qauwukdeen panicking a little. They’re alright, more worried about getting home on time for a visit with their son. You mind if I pick you up?”

“Pick…” You trailed off, cheeks warming hot enough to melt the snowflakes resting on them. She was only offering because of your foot, you told yourself. Shakily, you answered “Sure.”

The Doctor awkwardly eased her arms underneath your body, one supporting your back and the other your legs. As she pulled you both upward, you found yourself pressed tightly against her. She seemingly took little note of the close proximity, carrying you back over to the site of the crash. You gasped, a short cloud of breath breaking through the cold winter air. The carriage was in ruins; the qauwukdeen was staring down at the splintered wood, uninjured.

“No chance of fixing the carriage I reckon” The Doctor said. Your eyes widened; You had felt the words vibrate in her chest as they moved through the air. It was a feeling you loved and tucked away in your mind to cherish later. “We’ll have to hitch a ride back on Justine, and I can pay for the damages when we get there”

By now, the pair of you were right next to the creature, who was apparently known as “Justine?”

“Yup, that's their name! Don’t worry about not knowing it, they say they only give it out to the “cool” customers. Guess we fall under that criteria!” You chuckled lightly and reached out to pet Justine's incredible mane, shivering at the odd sensation as the tentacle-like strands ran through your fingers. Justine made an appreciative noise, and the Doctor smiled down at you.

“Are you comfortable sitting in the back? That way I can have better control. You can hang on to me if you need.”

“Yeah, that’s fine” The Doctor, already holding you up, used it to her advantage and lifted you onto Justine’s back easily. There was a slight strain on your foot still, but not enough for it to be unbearable. Still, when you winced, the Doctor paused and stared for a good long moment. You smiled a little to let her know she didn’t have to worry, and she unfroze. It was easy enough to believe that the Doctor had previous riding experience, as she easily climbed utop Justine and grasped her reins.

Your hands stayed down by your side, despite the Doctor’s offer to hang on to her. It felt a little too intimate, too close. Because you weren’t hanging on, the Doctor took things easy and Justine moved slowly back towards town. It was comfortable, and gave you enough time to appreciate the scenery even more. However, due to the speed, it was taking a lot longer to get back into town. The later into the night it got, the heavier your eyelids grew and the more effort it took to hold up your body.

After your third loud yawn, the Doctor reached back and calmly grasped your arms, leading them to rest around her waist. It drew your entire body closer to her, until your full weight relied on her strong figure. The warmth that greeted you as your head naturally tucked into the crook of her neck was unparalleled. Although the entire situation was designed to pull you into rest, it instead made you awaken further. As Justine picked up a little speed, you dedicated your time to memorizing the contour of your shape against hers.

Parting with Justine was a little bittersweet, but there was no time for goodbyes. According to the Doctor, they were 10 minutes late to go see their son. The Doctor apologized, and the qauwukdeen ran off as soon as their gear was removed. Other qauwukdeen’s followed as the carriage rides ended for the night. The Doctor paid for the damages to the carriage, despite the owners reassurances. Then, she turned back to you. For the last few minutes, you’d been sitting on one of the town's benches, waiting for business to wrap up.

“You sit tight, yeah? I’ll bring the TARDIS ‘round” You nodded happily, watching her disappear. Your body was still buzzing from the contact, every molecule asking whether there was more to come. Truthfully, you didn’t know. Certainly, things felt a little close the whole night, but there was still a giant chasm to cross. Telling anyone that you loved them was hard, but it was exponentially worse when that certain someone was an immortal time travelling alien that seemed to be operating on a different plane of existence at all times.

Just when you thought you were resolved to stay silent forever, the familiar Vwhorp, Vwhorp sounded. Blue walls began to appear around you. It was home, now. And the best feature of that home was standing just ahead of you, finishing up her work at the console. The lights of the TARDIS casted a warm glow over her head, and the cold you’d faced throughout the day was suddenly forgotten entirely. There was simply no way to keep silent. At least not entirely.

The Doctor helped you off the bench, not caring that she had stolen it from the quaint little town. “Feeling better dear?”

“Yeah, a lot better” Your blood rushed a little as the two of you casually moved past the word dear.

After telling her you were more awake then before, the Doctor had brought you to the TARDIS library for some more relaxation. Once you were settled on the couch she created a large fire, shutting out any cold that might remain. Then, she took a seat next to you. You stared at her for a moment, before your eyes drifted to her hand, which rested against her thigh.

She perked up a little, considering her hand in yours. “Doctor,” You murmured. “You know that I appreciate you, don’t you?”

Her eyes brightened, and she set her other hand on top of your conjoined ones, monopolizing the gesture. “I appreciate you too, Y/N. Where’s this coming from?”

“Doesn’t come from anywhere or- well, maybe it just comes from everywhere” You admitted. Be brave, you whispered in your head. “All of these adventures… I love it. I love-”

“I love you too” The Doctor broke through your courageous admittance. Her eyes widened a little, then a lot. “Was that not-”

Her hands began to slip away from yours, and you grasped them even tighter. “Doctor! You love me?”

You both stared at one another, neither sure of what to say. The Doctor seemed more shocked then you, like she hadn’t been planning her words like you had. Her lifetimes of skills kicked in, though, as she pulled your hand up to her mouth and kissed the back of it gently.

“I do love you,” She whispered softly, caressing the spot where she’d left a kiss with her thumb. “If that’s alright, I mean.”

“Of course it’s alright, “ You laughed breathlessly. “Doctor, I love you too.”

“Oh, Y/N,” She sighed. “You don’t know what it means for me to hear that.”

You grinned, moving forward to embrace her in full. She accepted the hug, her head nestling against your shoulder.

“You know, earlier, when you were holding on to me… I kept wondering if I’d ever get a chance to hold you like that” Her arms wrapped around you a little tighter, like she was afraid you’d slip away if she didn’t keep you secured. “Now I know what it feels like.”

She said it so relieved, like she’d been waiting centuries, eons, just to have you there in her arms. The two of you leaned your full weight into one another, burying yourselves in the knowledge that you both felt the same: warm, safe, and most importantly, loved.

[mistaeq]

steel ball run squad: what if they had a pokémon team?

continue at your own risk. i love to mix my biggest passions ♥︎

contains: johnny joestar, gyro zeppeli, diego brando, hot pants, funny valentine

johnny joestar

sandslash: it can roll up its body as if it were a ball covered with large spikes. in battle, this pokémon will try to make the foe flinch by jabbing it with its spines. it then leaps at the stunned foe to tear wildly with its sharp claws.

starmie: starmie swims through water by spinning its star-shaped body as if it were a propeller on a ship. the core at the center of this pokémon's body glows in seven colors.

kabutops: with sharp claws, this ferocious, ancient pokémon rips apart prey and sucks their body fluids. in the water, it tucks in its limbs to become more compact, then it wiggles its shell to swim fast.

zangoose: it usually stays on all fours, but when angered, it gets up on its hind legs and extends its claws. this pokémon shares a bitter rivalry with seviper that dates back over generations.

metagross: it has four brains in total. combined, the four brains can breeze through difficult calculations faster than a supercomputer. this pokémon can float in the air by tucking in its four legs.

golisopod: it will do anything to win, taking advantage of every opening and finishing opponents off with the small claws on its front legs.

gyro zeppeli

poliwrath: its highly developed, brawny muscles never grow fatigued, however much it exercises. it is so tirelessly strong, this pokémon can swim back and forth across the pacific ocean without effort.

rapidash: it usually can be seen casually cantering in the fields and plains. however, when this pokémon turns serious, its fiery manes flare and blaze as it gallops its way up to 150 mph.

ursaring: in the forests inhabited by ursaring, it is said that there are many streams and towering trees where they gather food. this pokémon walks through its forest gathering food every day.

spinda: no two spinda are said to have identical spot patterns on their hides. this pokémon moves in a curious manner as if it is stumbling in dizziness. its lurching movements can cause the opponent to become confused.

mudsdale: it can trudge mountain roads without rest for three days and three nights. mudsdale has so much stamina that it could carry over 10 tons across the region without rest or sleep.

dubwool: weave a carpet from its springy wool, and you end up with something closer to a trampoline. you'll start to bounce the moment you set foot on it.

diego brando

tyrantrum: thanks to its gargantuan jaws, which could shred thick metal plates as if they were paper, it was invincible in the ancient world it once inhabited.

amaura: an aurorus was found frozen solid within a glacier, just as it appeared long ago, which became quite a big event in the news. using its diamond-shaped crystals, it can instantly create a wall of ice to block an opponent's attack.

aerodactyl: aerodactyl is a pokémon from the age of dinosaurs. it was regenerated from genetic material extracted from amber. it is imagined to have been the king of the skies in ancient times.

kommo-o: its rigid scales function as offense and defense. in the past, its scales were processed and used to make weapons and other commodities.

bastiodon: while it can guard against any sort of attack from the front, it is left without recourse when attacked from behind. this pokémon is from roughly 100 million years ago. its terrifyingly tough face is harder than steel.

archeops: it needs a running start to take off. if archeops wants to fly, it first needs to run nearly 25 mph, building speed over a course of about 2.5 miles. though capable of flight, it was apparently better at hunting on the ground.

hot pants

ditto: it rearranges its cell structure to transform itself into other shapes. however, if it tries to transform itself into something by relying on its memory, this pokémon manages to get details wrong.

salazzle: filled with pheromones, its poisonous gas can be diluted to use in the production of luscious perfumes. it punishes salandit that couldn't bring it food with a fierce slap of its flame-spewing palm.

mienshao: when it comes across a truly challenging opponent, it will lighten itself by biting off the fur on its arms. delivered at blinding speeds, kicks from this pokémon can shatter massive boulders into tiny pieces.

tsareena: its long, striking legs aren't just for show but to be used to kick with skill. in victory, it shows off by kicking the defeated, laughing boisterously.

masquerain: it intimidates enemies with the eyelike patterns on its antennas. this pokémon flaps its four wings to freely fly in any direction - even sideways and backwards - as if it were a helicopter.

kecleon: it alters its body coloration to blend in with its surroundings, allowing it to sneak up on its prey unnoticed. then it lashes out with its long, stretchy tongue to instantly ensnare the unsuspecting target.

funny valentine

ninetales: legend has it that ninetales came into being when nine wizards possessing sacred powers merged into one. this pokémon is highly intelligent — it can understand human speech.

milotic: it lives at the bottom of large lakes. when this pokémon's body glows a vivid pink, it releases a pulsing wave of energy that brings soothing calm to troubled hearts.

silvally: through the bond it formed with its trainer, its will was strengthened, and it was able to destroy its control mask. upon awakening, its system is activated. by employing specific memories, this pokémon can adapt its type to confound its enemies.

malamar: it lures prey close with hypnotic motions, then wraps its tentacles around it before finishing it off with digestive fluids.

gardevoir: it has the psychokinetic power to distort the dimensions and create a small black hole. this pokémon will try to protect its trainer even at the risk of its own life.

lurantis: it fires beams from its sickle-shaped petals. these beams are powerful enough to cleave through thick metal plates. for self-protection, it pretends to be a bug pokémon. both of its arms bear keen-edged petals.

[alarawriting]

52 Project #37: A Very April Christmas

Part of this originally appeared as Inktober 2019 #17: Ornament.

--------------------------------------------------------

“Where is my fucking box of Christmas ornaments?”

April was busily tossing everything Catrina owned down the stairs from the attic garret where she lived. “April! What the fuck! That’s my stuff!” Catrina yelled.

“Yeah, your stuff that you couldn’t bother to keep neatly like I told you to, and this is seriously a health code hazard,” April said. “But more importantly, you’re living in the room I put my Christmas ornaments in, last January, and I need to find them.”

“You keep tossing my stuff around like that and I’ll kill you, mraow!”

“It’s my house, bitch, and you don’t pay anywhere near a fair rate for the rent.” April moved on to the back of the attic, where no one lived. “Ugh, this place is a nightmare.”

Catrina came up into the attic. “Well, whose fault is that, meow? All that’s your mess.”

Behind her, Kelly stuck her oversized head up. “I think Marie Kondo needs to come to this house,” she said in a strong Japanese accent. “April-san, I can’t imagine that any of that stuff back there sparks joy.”

“Hey! What are you doing in my room? Sssss!” Catrina postured at Kerry Kitty with her claws out. “No other cats allowed, this is my territory!”

“Oh, then you don’t want me to bring up the things April dropped,” Kelly said. “Okay.” Her large paws opened and dropped the pile of clothing she’d been carrying.

“Wait, no!”

“Oh, so you do want me to help you bring up the clothes,” Kerry said. “Please make up your mind.” In her accent, “clothes” sounded a bit less like garments and a bit more like taco-craving corvids.

“AHA!” April brandished the box of ornaments. “Found you, you little motherfuckers!”

“April-san, your language. Emily might hear you!”

“Emily is probably eating the Christmas tree,” April shot back. “Make way, coming through, lady with large box here!”

Kelly jumped off the attic stairs with as much grace as a 5-foot tall bipedal cat with a giant head could achieve. Catrina dodged and rolled onto her own bed, or what was left of it after April had dragged it around looking for the ornament box. April, six foot two and model-slim with a frankly impossible body, toted the large box over to the attic stairs, balancing it on her shoulders, and then tossed it down, following that with a graceful jump to the floor herself. “Everybody gather round!” she shouted in her most saccharine voice. “It’s time for Christmas decorating!”

“Doktor Zapp isn’t here,” Lovey said in her sad, slow voice. “Don’t you think we should ask him to come upstairs?”

“Pfft, no. That nerd never wants to come upstairs. Besides, what do you care? He’s scared of dogs.”

“I’m not a big dog,” Lovey said, despite the fact that she was almost as tall as April herself. “Anyway, he’s only scared of bad dogs. I’m a good dog.”

“Goo dug,” Emily Egg agreed, thick baby fingers twined in the puppy’s fur. “Wuvvy goo dug.”

“Yes, I’m sure you said something, but no one cares what,” April said. “Sheonte! Cherry! We’re doing Christmas decorations!”

“We don’t celebrate Christmas in Ponyland, and I really don’t appreciate you trying to push your human customs on me,” Cherry yelled back.

“Fuck, no, you’re a children’s cartoon. What do they do for your holiday specials? I know you’ve got something that looks just like Christmas. Get your horse’s ass out here so I don’t need to keep yelling.”

Sullenly Cherry Blossom plodded out of her room. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“On Best Pony Friends. You’ve got to have some kind of Christmas-like holiday for the holiday specials.”

“We have the Festival of Friendship… I guess it’s kind of like Christmas. We give our friends gifts, and hang up ornaments, and make snowponies, and sing carols—”

“So what you’re saying is, it’s exactly like Christmas.”

“Minus the overcommercialization and people trampling each other to get the last copy of a cheap mass-manufactured toy, yeah, I guess.”

Kerry volunteered, “I used to be on the air right before Best Pony Friends. Their Christmas is very nice-looking.”

“It’s the Festival of Friendship! Not Christmas!”

“You just keep telling yourself that,” April said. “SHE-ON-TE! We are all waiting on you!”

“A Diva is never rushed,” Sheonte yelled from her bedroom. “Beauty and style like this takes effort.”

“Come on, bitch, they threw you out of the Divazz because you tried to kill Vivi and your ex.”

“They were fucking! In my bedroom! You’d have tried to kill them too.”

“I don’t think the language in this house is a very good example for Emily,” Lovey complained.

“I wouldn’t have tried to kill them too because that would never happen to me because Chad is a real gentleman who would never cheat on me,” April said.

“Yeah, too bad you such a ho you gotta cheat on him.” Sheonte finally made her appearance, strutting into the room like she owned it. Her Afro was lightly sprinkled with pale glitter on the edges to create an effect much like she’d just been walking in light snow, and she was dressed stylishly with 14-inch stiletto heels, a green velvet miniskirt, a white blouse that did not cover her multiply-pierced belly button, and a shimmering silver jacket. And many belts around her body that didn’t seem to actually do anything. And by “stylishly”, April meant “like a cheap whore.”

“Look, it’s not my fault that Chad is such a gentleman that he’s waiting until we get married. Saving yourself for marriage is a beautiful thing in a man, and I really appreciate his sacrifice! But I gotta get my pussy pounded by someone, and Mr. Vibrator can’t always do the job, you know?”

Lovey was covering Emily’s ears with her paws. “April! You can’t say things like that in front of Emily!”

“Oh, like she understands.” April walked up to Emily, smiling. The baby, who would be only slightly shorter than April if she could actually stand up, beamed up at her from her position on the floor. “Who’s such a stupid baby?” April said in the same cheerful tone that one would say “Who’s such a good dog?” to one’s good dog. “Yes, you are! You are a stupid little baby!” Emily laughed and clapped.

“Can we get this over with?” Catrina asked. “April fucked up my entire room and I’m gonna have to spend the rest of the day fixing it, mraow.”

“Yes, we can get it going now, since I’m here,” Sheonte said. “April, where are the ornaments?”

“Right here,” April said, and opened the box with a flourish…

…to an assortment of brightly colored bits of shattered glass.

“Oh, shit,” April said.

“I think maybe you should not have thrown them down the stairs,” Kelly said.

“Bitch, you tear my room apart for this?” Catrina snarled. “These weren’t shit to begin with, meow, and then you went and shattered them to pieces on top of that?”

“Yeah, these ornaments were shit before you broke them,” Sheonte said. “What’d you do, get a truckload of shiny glass balls at Target?”

Emily began to cry. “Owwmens!” she wailed, which probably meant “ornaments” but sounded entirely too much like “omens”.

“We knew how to do a Christmas with the Weargirls,” Catrina said. “We used to go over Batrice’s mansion and decorate with lights and a ton of different ornaments, meow. Gorgeous stuff.”

“Yeah, well, feel free to go live with Batrice. Door’s that way,” April said.

Catrina made a face. “They’re vampires. They don’t have any windows, sss.”

“This is very sad,” Lovey said, her permanent sad-hound-dog face emphasizing the sadness. “I’m very sad.”

“Owwmens!”

“AwOOOO!”

“Oh, for the love of Christ shut it, both of you. I know what to do.” April closed the box of ornaments. “To the Glitter Van! We’re gonna go to the Christmas store and buy ornaments!”

“Kissmas tor?” Emily asked, cheering up right away.

“Oh! I love Christmas store! Let me get Christmas kimono on before we go!” Kerry said, and ran off before April could stop her.

“I’m not dressed for going out,” Catrina complained. “I need to try to find something I can wear, meow, since you trashed my room!”

“Yeah, this is not a Christmas store look,” Sheonte said. “I’m gonna change into something better for going out.”

“This is California, it’s not like it’s cold,” April said.

“I didn’t say better clothes for cold weather, I said better clothes for going out. This shit’s okay for just hanging with you bitches, but if I’m gonna get Seen, I need to look my best.” She strutted back to her room.

“I don’t wear clothes,” Cherry Blossom said.

“Yeah, good for you.”

“But your mane looks like a stinking pile of dog doo. You need to go get brushed and get dressed yourself before you go out looking like that.”

“I didn’t ask your opinion, you nag.”

“That is a misogynist and ageist slur among my people and I’m going to post about your insensitivity on social media if you don’t apologize right now.”

“Apologize to this,” April said, giving Cherry the middle finger.

She sat down on her couch, defeated, as Cherry trotted away. “This is totally fucked up.”

“Don’t worry,” Lovey said, snuggling against April, trying to cheer her up by being a dog. “I’m sure you’ll be able to fix everything as soon as everyone gets ready and we can go to the ornament store.”

Lovey had been in this house long enough to know that “everyone gets ready” could take upward of 3 hours, and besides, April didn’t like dogs. She pushed Lovey away. “Easy for you to say.”

The door to the basement opened, and Doktor Zapp, dressed in his characteristic lab coat, goggles, and blue shirt that he apparently never took off, stuck his tiny head out. “What’d I miss?”

***

If it had been April’s decision, Lovey and Emily – especially Emily – would not be coming with them, but Emily was the one most enthusiastic about going to “Kissmas tor”, so obviously she couldn’t be prevented from coming along, even though she was a baby nearly April’s size, bigger than Cherry Blossom and Doktor Zapp. Ugh. As long as Kelly or Lovey watched her and April didn’t have to do it. She had her hands full with her sisters. They didn’t live with her, but they leaned on her hard enough it was practically like she was being their mom.

Cherry Blossom had a bag of apples she was snacking on. Loudly. She was sitting in the back of the Glitter Van, because she couldn’t sit in a seat for humanoids, so she, Lovey, and Emily were all in the back – Emily could in theory sit in a seat, but a baby seat large enough for her couldn’t. It was amazing how loud the sound of a pony chewing an apple could get all the way to the driver’s seat.

April honked her horn. “Jesus! Get a move on, people!”

From her vantage point in the front of the Glitter Van, she could see an endless line of tiny cars in front of her. Very tiny cars, about a fifth the size of her van. Traffic was always like this. Sometimes there was one of the buses or cars the BittyFolx drove around in, and sometimes some superhero’s tricked-out car, but generally speaking it was always the little cars causing the traffic jams.

Sheonte, in the front seat next to April, commiserated. “Fuckin’ wonderful, right? No matter what time of day you try going anywhere, there’s all these tiny-ass cars on the road.”

“I should just run them the fuck over,” April said.

“Yeah!” Catrina cheered from the seat directly behind April.

“No!” Kerry, from the seat next to Catrina, and Lovey, in the back, yelled. Well, in Lovey’s case, howled.

“That’s a great idea if you want the cops up your ass,” Sheonte said sarcastically. “Now I know white girls with money get away with a ton of shit, but even your lily white tushie ain’t gonna be able to walk away from running down a dozen little Wheels o’Fire cars.”

“Fuck this,” Cherry announced from the back. “I’m getting out and I’m walking.”

“That’s nice for you, you’re a fucking horse,” April snapped. “Maybe you can kick some of those goddamn Wheels o’Fire cars out of the way so we can get somewhere on this highway?”

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Doktor Zapp, sitting on the back row seat, shouted, with the German accent that came and went in his voice stronger than usual. “I have an invention that can make the car fly, will that do?”

“Well, why the fuck didn’t you say something earlier?”

***

The Christmas store was a roughly semi-hexagonal structure, if the bee creating the hexagon was drunk. Two different storefronts came together as one of the corners – a Playstuf grocery store, from the same line as Doktor Zapp, and a Pam in the Pocket clothing storefront. These were barely taller than April herself. The third side that made up half the hexagon was a large cardboard storefront, taller and deeper than the other two, with a smiley face on the visible outside of it.

The second half of the hexagon, such as it was, consisted of what had once been neatly laid out aisles of baskets containing Christmas decorations, except that the aisles had ended up scattered around by the actions of customers and employees, and probably the will of God. It was now less of a hexagon and more of a shapeless blob.

On the right of the Christmas store, outside the blob of the store’s merchandise layout, there was a Christmas tree. It, like the Playstuf and Pam in the Pocket storefronts, was only a bit taller than April herself. And underneath that Christmas tree, there were shiny boxes wrapped in reflective wrapping paper. These were very large for presents, about half as tall as Doktor Zapp.

A nutcracker soldier stood in front of the store, his jaw moving somewhat unnaturally. “Welcome to the Christmas Store! Welcome one, welcome all!”

Emily, crawling out of the van, saw the fake presents and immediately beelined for them, crawling eagerly. “Pwezens!”

“Oh, shit,” April said, as Emily, who was significantly larger than most of the people here, knocked over several of the baskets of merchandise, and at least one Puppy Pal carrying merchandise in her mouth, who barked at Emily in irritation. “Emily, what the shit? Get back here!”

“Pwezens!”

April sighed deeply, and then began walking away from the scene, toward the middle of the store, pretending she didn’t actually know Emily. Sheonte, Kelly, Catrina and Doktor Zapp were heading toward the ornaments, and Cherry Blossom had stopped to chat up a horse who was standing by the side of the store, waiting for its rider.

Emily grabbed the first of the presents and tore the wrapping paper up. “Emily, you shouldn’t do that!” Lovey said, ineffectually, and then started howling. “APRIL OR SOMEBODY, AWOOO! LOOK AT EMILY, ROOO!”

“Jesus Christ,” April muttered, “I can’t take that kid anywhere.” She stomped over to Emily, whose lip was wobbling in disappointment that the first box she’d ripped open was empty. “Emily Egg, get your baby ass out of those fake presents right now!”

Emily began to wail, sitting in her pile of wrapping paper and torn-up empty box. Lovey, never one to fail to loudly sympathize with a suffering child, started howling in solidarity. “AROOO!”

“For God’s sake,” April said. Now everyone was staring at her. “Emily, get back in the car!”

“No!” Emily yelled. “Want pwezens!”

“These aren’t presents, you idiot, they’re decorations!”

“Ma’am, you need to control your child,” the nutcracker said.

“Ugh. She’s not mine, I’m just her landlady – EMILY STOP EATING THAT!” April had to snatch silver wrapping paper out of Emily’s mouth. “Emily, if you’re not good, they’ll kick us out of the Christmas store! Do you wanna get kicked out of the Christmas store? And you won’t get any ornaments? And Santa will give you coal for Christmas?”

“BWAAAAH!” Emily wailed. “No! No! Want pwezens an owwmens!”

“Well, then you better be good! Those aren’t yours!”

“No pwezens?”

“No presents here. This isn’t even our house! How would Santa know to bring you presents here?”

“Come on, Emily,” Lovey encouraged. “Let’s go look at ornaments!”

“Owwmens!” Emily agreed, no longer crying, and crawled off with Lovey.

“This place really needs wider aisles,” April muttered.

Someone was sarcastically applauding behind her. April turned. “Jayda?”

“If it isn’t April,” Jayda said. “Winning Mother of the Year awards. I never thought I’d see you tied down with a kid.”

“She’s not my kid,” April said through gritted teeth.

Jayda looked very much like April herself, except she was black, with full, thick hair that had first been relaxed and then curled like the hair of a white movie star from the 50’s or something. “Really? There’s such a strong resemblance,” Jayda said dryly.

Sheonte came up behind April. “Jayda! Girlfriend! Ain’t seen you in for-ever! Whatchu been up to?”

“Oh, the usual,” Jayda said. “Photo shoots, modeling gigs… I just did a couple of commercials, and my agent is talking with a movie producer about getting me some acting work.” She smiled, smugly. April assumed the movie producer in question was the one that fired April for demanding top billing over her male co-star, who was in fact not nearly as famous as she was. She forced a smile onto her own face.

“Oh, that’s great!” she said in an incredibly fake voice. “I always knew you’d manage to snag a job that takes talent, somehow, eventually!”

“Anyway, April, since when have you been adopting kids? And how’d you keep the paparazzi from finding out?”

“You serious, girl? You think April would adopt a kid?” Sheonte laughed, loudly. “That ain’t April’s kid. That’s Emily Egg. You don’t recognize her?”

“I’m not really following the world of baby dolls,” Jayda said. “You know, I’m a young adult, and I spend my time dealing with young adults. We don’t really have time for babies.”

“She’s my tenant,” April snapped. “Not my best friend, and not my kid. Apparently she’s a big thing on the baby doll scene, but like I give a shit? I just care that the rent checks come in.”

“Oh, right!” Jayda snapped her fingers. “I remember now! You couldn’t get work, so you had to get roommates so you wouldn’t lose your house!” She made a very fake looking expression of concern. “Are you doing any better on the job market?”

“I’m writing a book,” April said, still unable to un-grit her teeth. “It’s a tell-all memoir about all the talentless bitches I’ve had to work with in my career. You ought to pick it up when it comes out! It’s got a whole chapter about you.”

Jayda rolled her eyes. “You’re so immature,” she said. “Better get back to your baby before she wrecks something else.”

Emily was knocking over baskets of ornaments. Lovey was moaning for her to stop and be good, but since she was a large dog without opposable thumbs, there wasn’t much she could do to stop the baby or clean anything up. “Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, thanks for the heads up, but she’s not my kid.” She stomped off to try to deal with Emily.

“So how’s it goin’, girlfriend?” Sheonte asked Jayda.

“We’re not friends,” Jayda said. “We may have done a few shoots together, but I don’t even know you.”

Sheonte rolled her eyes. “It’s a figure of speech, girl. You gonna give me a lecture about family trees if I call you a sister?”

“Wasn’t it your sister you tried to kill?”

“No, bitch, it was my best friend Vivi, because she was fucking my husband. My sister is in high school, and she’s crushing it. Gonna be valedictorian at this rate. What’s your problem with me?”

“Seriously?” Jayda asked in disbelief. “Don’t you remember when April and Friends was competing with the Divazz, and you were a total jerk about it?”

“That was years ago.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna be friends with you just because you’re part of April’s entourage now.”

“I am renting a room in her mansion. I ain’t gonna be best pals with her either. But you don’t wanna be friendly, that’s fine. That’s fine. No one needs a stuck-up snotty bitch like you for a friend, anyway.”

“Ugh.” Jayda looked at the ceiling, and then walked off. Sheonte shook her head.

“That bitch is the whitest black girl I ever met,” she opined, and went back to where Catrina was picking out ornaments.

***

Outside, Cherry Blossom was trying to talk to the horse. “So, you come here often?”

The horse nickered.

Cherry Blossom spoke words, not nickers, and had no idea what the horse had just said, but the apples she’d been eating ever since they got in the car were fermented, so she didn’t care. As much as she hated being stuck in this world where almost everyone was human and she was a universe away from her friends, there were compensations… like the fact that humans never questioned whether her apples were exactly fresh or not. Apparently humans only imbibed alcohol in liquid form, explaining why their word for intoxication was “drunk.”

“You know, if you wanted to go off on the side with me and, you know, put on a pony show?” She wiggled her rump and lifted her tail, batting her eyelashes. “That’d be nice.”

The horse nickered.

Cherry Blossom rubbed her face up against the horse’s side, trying to reach the horse’s face with her face. The horse turned its head so she couldn’t reach. “Oh, don’t be like that,” she said.

***

In the Christmas store, Kerry was chatting up Pippi Pig, a Swedish animal star almost as well known in the US as Kelly herself. “I didn’t know you were in the US!”

“I’m doing a holiday special,” Pippi said. “Pippi Pig’s Christmas! It’s my first big Christmas special!”

Kelly, who had done dozens of holiday specials, for Christmas, Obon, New Year’s, Doll’s Festival, Halloween, and many others, in America and in Japan, clapped her paws together. “That sounds so great!” she said.  “You must be so excited!”

“Oh, yes, I’m very excited!” Pippi agreed. “Kelly, can I ask you something?”

“Of course!”

“I don’t mean to be offensive, but… is your name actually Kelly or Kerry?”

“Yes,” Kerry said.

“No… I mean, which one is it?”

“It’s Kelly or Kerry,” Kelly said, exaggerating the l and the r sounds so she could make it clear they were different. Normally, when she said one of those letters, they weren’t.

“But which one do you prefer?”

Kerry laughed. “Kerry was first,” she said. “Then I came to America and they called me Kelly. Then back in Japan they wanted to be like Americans so they called me Kelly. It sounds the same but when they printed it on the merchandise, it was Kelly. And then they changed their minds and decided I should be Kerry again. So either one is okay.”

“Wow,” Pippi said. “I guess I should be glad that Americans and Swedes can both pronounce Pippi more or less the same way, right?”

“Oh, I like it,” Kelly said. “I like to feel like I can be a whole new kitty every time I cross a border. Or anytime I want to, really.” There was a loud sound of breaking glass behind them, a wail from a large baby, and a howl from a dog. “Oh dear. Excuse me, I might have to do something.”

***

“That one, meow! I want that!”

Catrina had filled her basket with glittering things that moved. So far she had a pinwheel, a top (this wasn’t much good as a Christmas ornament, because it was half as tall as Doktor Zapp), a disco ball, a Santa Claus with a glittering beard that said “Ho ho ho” when you squeezed him, several strands of tinsel, a singing bird made of mirrors, and a butterfly covered with sequins. Also, a lot of Nativity-related stuff. The thing she was pointing at now was a bird made of sequins, hanging from a tree.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do about it,” Doktor Zapp complained.

“I want you to get it for me, meow.”

“I’m shorter than you! How am I supposed—”

“Yo, Catrina,” Sheonte said. “What is with all the cheap-ass shit in your cart?”

“Cheap-ass shit?” Catrina said indignantly. “These are gorgeous, mrow!”

“They’re tacky as all fuck. What’s with all this Baby Jesus shit? Basic as f, girl.”

“Yeah, well, what kind of ornaments were you gonna get?” Catrina snarled.

“Nice stuff. Like this.” She picked up a frosted glass ball. “Understated. Not in your face being all shiny. Maybe one of these.” This one was a very delicate white snowflake made of something fragile and light. “Not all shit that makes you look like some kind of magpie.”

“I’m a cat! I like shiny things that move!” Catrina snapped. “And calling my taste tacky is rich, coming from you!” She waved at Sheonte, encompassing her outfit, which consisted of a white fur coat, tall leather boots in gold, and a black miniskirt. Under the white coat, which was half open, she was wearing a black velvet tube top over a golden silk top. She also had half a dozen bracelets on one arm.

“Hey, bitch, my taste in fashion is cutting edge. You look like you’re wearing one of April’s rejects.” Catrina was wearing skinny-jean shorts, a chunky belt, and a light blue blouse with short sleeves. Her feet were bare.

“Hsss! You take that back, mrow!” Catrina backed up and flashed her claws at Sheonte. “I have my own fashion sense, not a ripoff of April’s!”

“Couldn’t tell by me,” Sheonte said lazily.

Doktor Zapp took the opportunity where neither of the girls were looking at him to head out of the main shopping area, trying to make his way over to Cherry Blossom, and accidentally bumped into an old man from the Galactic Rebellion franchise. “Watch it!” the old guy said, reaching reflexively to his side, where he did not, at the moment, have a gun.

Neither did Doktor Zapp – he’d left his ray guns in the lab. “Sorry!”

“You better be sorry,” the old guy said crabbily. “You see these joints of mine? I got carbonite all up in them. Got stuck in carbonite once and I’ve never been able to get it all out. I’ve been practically crippled ever since.” The substance in question appeared to be brown clay, and it was in fact in all of his joints.

Doktor Zapp commiserated, showing off his cyborg leg. “A dog got my leg here. I know how it is.”

“I got a friend who got his hand chopped off, got a cyborg replacement,” the old guy said. “Wasn’t any different from a real hand.”

“Yes, well. Mine is very obviously a cyborg leg.”

“Just don’t get carbonite in that cyborg leg. It’ll fuck you up for life.”

“I’ll watch out for that,” Doktor Zapp said, making his exit. As he headed toward Cherry Blossom, he muttered to himself, “If I got something in the cyborg leg, I would just build a new cyborg leg. Idiot.”

***

Emily was wailing. She had managed to knock over and shatter an entire basket of cheap glass balls. An employee of the store, who looked like Mrs. Claus, was chastising her and Lovey, who was whimpering.

“Listen, Mrs. I set feminism back a hundred years every time a little girl looks at me,  you can shut up now. It was obviously an accident.”

“Obviously! But whose idea was it to bring a giant baby and a large dog to the Christmas store?”

“I’m a good dog,” Lovey whined.

“Look. The baby is my tenant. She pays her rent money, she says she wants to go to the Christmas store, she gets to pile into my Glitter Van and come here. And the dog is also my tenant, and was watching the baby, and I don’t appreciate your tone toward either of them.”

“Well, then maybe you’d have a better appreciation for this,” Mrs. Claus said snarkily, and handed April an invoice for all the ornaments Emily broke.

April turned to Emily. “Emily! Emily, the nice lady wants you to pay for the ornaments you broke. Can you pay for the ornaments you broke like a good girl?”

Emily nodded eagerly. “I pay for owwmens!”

“Great. I’ll pay the bill here and pass it on to your accountants, with a ten percent fee tacked on for having to deal with this bullshit, how’s that?”

Lovey gasped. “April! Don’t say that in front of Emily!”

“Whatever,” April said, rolling her eyes. “Emily, do we have a deal?”

Emily nodded again. “Uh huh, uh huh! I pay owwmens!”

“Great.” April handed Mrs. Claus her credit card and the invoice. “Run my card and shut the fuck up.”

Mrs. Claus’ eyes narrowed. “How does a baby have this much money?”

“She’s Emily Egg. She’s a star. Not my problem if you never heard of her.”

“But where is her mother?”

“Her mother is God. Now run along like a good little serf and take my money.”

Kerry reached the group. “Oh, April-san! That was very nice of you, to pay for Emily’s broken ornaments.”

“What’re you talking about? I’m sending the bill to her accountants. The kid is loaded.”

“Maybe I should get her out of the Christmas store,” Kelly said. “So there aren’t any more accidents.”

“No! Want Kissmas tor!” Emily yelled.

“More than you want ice cream store?” Kerry said enticingly, with a purr.

“Eye skeem store?”

“Yes, the ice cream store! Would you like to go there?”

“Uh huh!” Emily said. “Eye skeem!”

Lovey looked sad. Lovey usually looked sad, but now she looked especially sad. “They won’t let me in the ice cream store because I’m a dog,” she said, head hung low. “So I guess I’ll just have to stay here.”

“That is, how you say more politely than April-san says it, baloney? I’m a cat and they let me in. What if I tell them, they have to let my friend Lovey-chan in?”

“But they won’t,” Lovey said sadly.

“But they might. I am star too. Not so big as April-san but maybe big enough. Why don’t you come with us and I’ll wave money at them? It works when April-san tries it.”

“Maybe April shouldn’t be your role model, Kerry?” Lovey said uncertainly.

“Why not? I’m an awesome role model. Little girls all over America look up to me and wanna be me,” April said. “You guys go, get out of here. Kelly, good plan, you do that. Channel me.”

“I’ll be politer than you,” Kelly said. “But don’t worry, it’s not hard.”

As the dog, the cat with the giant head, and the huge baby made their way down the street to the ice cream store, which was also a Playstuf storefront, April turned around, sighing with relief that the giant baby wasn’t her problem anymore. It was in that moment that she ran straight into her sister.

Both of them fell on their butts, a perpetual hazard of walking everywhere in high heels. “April?” her sister said, sounding shocked.

“Madison?” April asked, equally shocked.

April had three sisters – Betty, Courtney and Madison—who were all perpetually teenagers. While they all looked to be approximately the same age, Madison was the youngest. They didn’t live with April, but they came around to visit and hit her up for money so often she felt they might as well.

“What’re you doing here?” Madison asked. “I thought you hated Christmas.”

“No, I just said that after the last Christmas special we did.” April had done considerable quantities of coke to get through that miserable shoot, and had been actively tweaking by the time the shoot was done. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to buy a Christmas tree!” Madison chirped. “Have you met my new boyfriend yet?”

Madison’s new boyfriend turned out to be from the Galactic Rebellion franchise. He was dressed in a suit of futuristic armor. There was nothing organic visible on him whatsoever. “This is your boyfriend?” April said skeptically, looking down at him – he was only slightly taller than Doktor Zapp, and shorter than Emily would be if Emily could stand up.

“Yes!” Madison said. “Honey, did you find the Christmas tree section?”

“Yes,” the man in the armor said.

“Find anything good?”

“They looked dead. I told the salesperson, they’re no use to me dead.”

“Technically they are dead though…”

“Why don’t you get an artificial tree?” April asked.

“Ugh,” Madison said. “That is so unnatural!”

“Uh, yes. Yes, that is the point of having an artificial tree.”

“An artificial tree would be better,” Madison’s boyfriend said.

“They’ve got them in the back, in that area they’re refrigerating so it ‘feels’ like Christmas. Which is a terrible idea, by the way,” Madison said. “They’ve got fake snow all over the place, but it doesn’t melt, so it’s not fooling anybody, and no one’s dressed for cold weather…”

Madison’s boyfriend shrugged. “I can get the tree warm, or I can get the tree cold. Either way.”

“So can we come over for Christmas?” Madison asked.

“I’ll think about it,” April said, meaning no. “Look, Madison, I came here to buy ornaments and you’re in my way.”

“I want to come see you for Christmas,” Madison said. “Come on, April, we’re sisters. Stop being such a bitch.”

“All right, dammit, stop being such a pest! I have things to do!” April pushed past Madison, scowling.

“I love you too, big sis!” Madison yelled.

***

“Mrrow! Where are all the damn flowers?”

“What you need flowers so bad for, girl?” Sheonte asked. “We got plenty of ornaments.” They had both filled their carts at this point – Sheonte with gold ribbons, soft silk balls in white and gold, tiny beautiful angels in colors like silver, white, and gold, and fragile glass things; Catrina with nativity figures, brightly colored balls, shiny things, shiny things that move, and things that move that weren’t very shiny. Both of them had agreed that Santas and candy canes and ornament-sized stockings were tacky.

Catrina glared at Sheonte. “Back home in Mexico, we had poinsettias and lilies for Christmas. Where are the poinsettias, meow? What kind of a Christmas store is this?”

“You’re from Mexico?”

“What, you didn’t know?” Catrina looked at Sheonte like it was the most unbelievable thing possible that Sheonte didn’t know her ethnicity.

“Near as I could tell, you’re a cat.”

“Yeah, but I’m a Mexican cat, meow. All the Weargirls came from different places. Batrice was from England. Lulu’s American but she’s Cajun, from Louisiana.”

“I never hear you say anything in Spanish.”

“Eso es porque soy completamente bilingüe, puta.” At Sheonte’s look, Catrina snapped, “I’m bilingual. Been speaking English since I was a little kid. I don’t need to throw Spanish words into everything I say to remind people I’m Mexican like that puta gata, who’s gotta be all like April-san and san this and san that to remind everyone she’s Japanese.” Mrs. Claus walked past them right then. “Hey, you! Mrs. Claus! Where are all the poinsettias in this place?”

“We sold out of those last weekend.”

Catrina rolled her eyes. “Figures.”

“Guess you shouldn’t have waited for April to throw together a fake friendship trip to the Christmas store. Don’t you have wheels of your own?”

“I have a fucking motorcycle. All the Weargirls have motorcycles.”

“Yeah, well, if the Weargirls are so great why aren’t you living with them?”

“It’s not because I tried to kill any of them, I can tell you that.”

“Excuse me? Miss Sheonte?”

The newcomer was very, very short – shorter than Doktor Zapp, shorter even than April’s or Catrina’s arm. She was a Forrest-Pierce BittyFolx from the old school, but unusual looking—barely any hair, just a few red curls on the top of her head, and while most BittyFolx girls wore dresses that curved out from their bodies, her dress was completely straight.

Sheonte was plainly surprised. “Yes, that’s me. Who are you?”

“I’m your biggest fan!” the extremely tiny girl said, bouncing. “My name’s Biz. You are, like, my icon.”

“Why, thank you.”

“I love your sense of style!” Biz gushed. “I always wished I could dress like you, but…” She gestured at her perfectly straight cylindrical body. “I’m stuck with this stupid red dress. I haven’t even got anywhere I can put accessories.” Since BittyFolx had no arms or legs, and seemed to do all their moving via close-range telekinesis or something, this was absolutely true.

“Oh, girlfriend, anyone can have style.” Sheonte turned slightly to grab a piece of tinsel garland out of a nearby bin of wares. She placed it around Biz’s neck, where it looked like a boa. “There you go. You might need to tie it to make it stay on, but see? You can accessorize too! You just have to be flexible.”

“Oh, wow!” Biz lifted her boa without hands, since she didn’t have any, and gazed at it in wonder. “This is beautiful! You’re amazing, Miss Sheonte!”

“Of course I am,” Sheonte said, grinning. “But you’re amazing too. And now you can show the world.”

Catrina muttered to herself, “Back in my show, we didn’t have to teach kids to self-actualize through fashion, mrow. We just fought evil zombies.”

***

Cherry Blossom was attempting to drape herself over the horse, having consumed almost the entire bag of fermented apples. “Come oooonnn,” she slurred. “I’m loooonely. Can’t we goooo somewhere?”

“Cherry Blossom!” Doktor Zapp panted as he reached her. “You’re drunk? How are you drunk?”

Cherry Blossom smiled a huge horsey grin at him. “Apples!” she said drunkenly. “You humans never check the apples!” She then turned to the horse she was hitting on. “I got some for yoooouuu… you want one?” Using her hoof, which for some mysterious reason was able to lift apples as if it had opposable thumbs, she pulled an apple out of her bag and offered it to the horse, who nickered and tried to move away, except that Cherry Blossom was not letting that happen.

“Oh mein gott. I can’t believe this. We’re in public! Show some decorum!”

“I had me some decorum,” Cherry said. “I had frieeends. We had decorum. We saved the goddamn world, we had so much decorum! And have they come to get me? Noooo. So what good is fucking decorum?” She planted a sloppy kiss on the side of the horse’s head. “Come ooooon. I’m horny! I haven’t been with another pony since I got here!”

“The horse obviously is not interested in you,” Doktor Zapp said. “He keeps trying to get away.” The horse was tied to a post by the Christmas store. Doktor Zapp tried to grab Cherry Blossom’s mane and pull her away. “Let’s go home. You’re drunk.”

“No!” Cherry Blossom bucked, her hooves narrowly missing Doktor Zapp, who dodged. “I wanna stay right here with my boyfriend!”

“You don’t even know his name,” Doktor Zapp pointed out. “And also, he can’t talk!”

“I don’t need him to talk,” Cherry Blossom said, suggestively wiggling her rump.

A tall, thin cowboy, about April’s height, came out of the Christmas store, carrying a bag of ornaments. “Hey there, pardner,” he said. “What’s your horse trying to do to my horse?”

“She is not my horse—”

“I’m a pony! And I belong to myself!”

“She is my housemate, and she’s drunk on fermented apples—”

“And I haven’t gotten laid since I left Ponyland! I just wanna get railed, is that so wrong?”

The cowboy shook his head, not like he was saying “no” but like he was saying “I am just not even gonna deal with this.” “Well, pardner, I can see you got a feisty one there,” he said. “You’ve got my sympathies. I’ve had to drag my buddy home from a bender more’n a few times. He’s an astronaut, see, and he likes to get himself liquored up on space hooch.”

Doktor Zapp didn’t know how space hooch would differ from the regular Earth stuff, but he didn’t care enough to ask. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “It means a great deal to me that you care. It has been a very long time since anyone cared.”

“That’s right sad there, fella. You should fix that. Make some better friends.” The cowboy sat down on the horse. The horse was Cherry Blossom’s size, and the cowboy was April’s size, and Cherry Blossom was less than half of April’s height. The cowboy’s nether end barely fit on the horse, and he had to stick his legs straight out to either side or they’d drag on the ground. “Me and Sierra need to be moseying along now. You folks take care.”

“NOOO!” Cherry Blossom cried out as the cowboy and the horse started to ride away. “He’s the love of my life! Don’t take him away from me!”

The cowboy’s eyebrows went up. “Uh, ma’am, Sierra here is a mare. Surprised you couldn’t tell.”

“Oh,” Cherry Blossom said, and then wailed, “She’s the love of my life! Don’t take her away from me!”

The horse snorted, and rode off with the cowboy more than twice her size on her back, as Doktor Zapp held Cherry Blossom back by her mane.

“Let’s get you to the van,” he said, pulling at her.

Cherry Blossom burst into tears. “No one wants to fuck me!”

“There, there.” Doktor Zapp was aromantic and asexual, and couldn’t relate to Cherry Blossom’s issue, but long experience had taught him how to pretend. “I know it’s hard. Why don’t you come on back to the van and lay down? You’ll feel better.”

“I feel sick,” Cherry Blossom moaned.

“Well, then why don’t we get you to the van for a nice cup of water.”

“Uggh.” Cherry Blossom proceeded to vomit all over Doktor Zapp’s shoes, making him jump away.

“How!” he shouted. “Horses can’t vomit!”

“I’m a pony! Ugggh…” Cherry Blossom followed her retort with more puking. Doktor Zapp had to remind himself that Ponyland was in another dimension, which made Cherry Blossom more of an alien than an equine.

***

Finally, April had a chance to shop for Christmas ornaments. She favored the kitschy Christmasy Americana of Santas and reindeers and gingerbread men, as well as a lot of colorful glass balls to replace the ones that broke earlier today.

Since they were shopping to replace her ornaments, she was expected to pay for them, so she met up with Sheonte and Catrina as she was getting ready to check out. Sheonte stared in disbelief. “Girl, you really going with that Santa and candy cane kind of crap?”

“What the fuck is wrong with that?” April glared at Sheonte’s cart. “Your shit looks like some kind of ballroom decoration, not Christmas.”

“Yeah, but my stuff is Christmasy without being ugly, meow,” Catrina retorted. “Sheonte’s ornaments may look boring and corporate but yours are just stupid as fuck.”

“Excuse the fuck out of me for wanting a Christmas feel for my Christmas decorations! All you got might as well be an entire strip club’s worth of glitter!”

“You take that back, mraow!”

“My decorations are tasteful, but I can see you bitches don’t know the meaning of the word,” Sheonte snapped. “Corporate? April’s ornaments are fucking corporate. ‘Let’s put up ugly ornaments with candy canes on them to appeal to the soccer mom demographic!’”

“I can see you’ve never been in a corporate boardroom,” April snarked.

“I’ve never been in a boring-ass one full of old white guys, if that’s what you mean,” Sheonte said. “We Divazz had a boardroom. It was cool. It had soda, and wine coolers.”

“Well, it doesn’t fucking matter because it’s my house and my tree, and I say your ornaments are shitty and I’m not buying them.”

“The fuck you’re not,” Catrina said. “You said we could get whatever we wanted, mraow!”

“Yeah, well, maybe I didn’t mean it when I said it.”

“Whatever, bitch. I’m rich enough to buy my own goddamn ornaments,” Sheonte said.

“I’m not putting them on my tree.”

“Yes, you are,” Sheonte said. “Or Catrina and I are moving out. Right, Catrina?”

“Uh…”

“Because you can’t make the mortgage on the Dream House if two of us aren’t renting anymore, right?”

“I can find another couple of renters like that,” April said, snapping her fingers.

“Yeah, no, you can’t. Have you seen your ratings on Yelp?”

“Go Google yourself, meow,” Catrina said. “If the first hit isn’t ‘April is a bitch,’ I’ll eat this ornament.” She held up one of the sparkly balls in her cart. “Anyway, if you don’t wanna put them on your tree, mrew, I’ll get my own damn tree.”

“Ooh. Yeah. I could have an amazing tree for myself and you could just put your tacky junk all over your tree and it could look like shit,” Sheonte said.

Behind them all, they heard Lovey say, “But wouldn’t it be kind of weird if everyone in the house had their own tree?”

April turned. Lovey was there, and behind her, making her way over to the group, was Kerry Kitty, with Emily Egg sitting by herself outside the general area of the Christmas store. Lovey continued. “I think that would be weird, don’t you think? Shouldn’t we all be able to enjoy the big Christmas tree in the middle of the living room?”

“It’s my goddamn tree,” April snapped.

“But we’re all sharing the living room as part of our common space, right? Don’t you think it would be weird if we all had to have different trees?”

“No, nobody but you thinks so, and no one cares what you think.”

“I don’t care if it’s weird,” Sheonte said. “As long as April’s gonna be a bitch about her tree—”

“We need to go home,” Kelly interrupted. “Emily needs her nap.”

“Who cares?” April threw her hands up in the air.

“You will, when the giant baby throws a tantrum and everyone looks at you thinking you’re her mother,” Kerry snapped.

“I can’t leave until I’ve gotten myself a tree, mraow,” Catrina said.

“Yeah, maybe you can take Emily home but as long as April’s being a bitch, I gotta get myself a tree,” Sheonte said.

Kelly took a deep breath. “All of you are idiots,” she said. “No one can get Emily home without April’s van, she is very tired and on the verge of having a meltdown if she doesn’t get a nap, and you three stupid bitches are arguing about ornaments.” Her huge kitty face got into each of the taller dolls’ faces in turn. “You are going to buy all the ornaments you want. You are not going to get extra trees. I will make your ornaments work together without clashing. You are going to shut the fuck up and buy the ornaments in your cart and then April-san will drive all of us home, do you understand?”

Everyone stared at the normally perpetually cheerful and polite Japanese idol as if her face had just sprouted tentacles like a Cthulhoid monster. Catrina and Sheonte took delicate, discreet steps backward.

April did not. “Yeah, what if I—”

Kerry was about Emily Egg’s height, but considerably wider than any of the fashion dolls. She set her feet like a sumo wrestler and shoved April up against a rack of ornaments, her giant head looming imposingly against April’s neck. “Do you understand?” she repeated.

April paled. “Okay, fine! Whatever the fuck!”

Kelly stepped back and beamed. “Very good, April-san. Let’s go home!”

***

Since Cherry Blossom was sleeping it off in the back of the van, and Doktor Zapp was watching her to make sure she didn’t vomit again, April was able to drive off as soon as she and the others were all in the van.

Back at April’s place, there were mugs of hot chocolate for everyone except Lovey, since dogs couldn’t have chocolate; she had a festively striped bone that resembled a candy cane instead. When April pointed out that cats also could not have chocolate, Kerry had smiled a very broad smile and said, “Bite me, April-san.” And then downed half her mug at once. There was no explanation where the mugs of hot chocolate came from; this was just the sort of thing that happened when you were a doll superstar.

Kelly organized the tree ruthlessly, calling on Lovey and Emily to place the “owwmens” in the places she specified. Doktor Zapp was forcibly recruited to assist; he was smaller than Kerry, Lovey or Emily, but he had a levitation belt and fully dexterous hands. Kelly might have opposable thumbs, but her paws themselves were a bit large for interacting with the more delicate ornaments. Emily babbled happily and Lovey barked and frolicked with excitement, like Christmas tree decorating under Kerry’s command was the best thing ever.

April didn’t know whether she was more irritated that she was being left out of the whole tree-decoration process when it was her damn tree, or that Kelly was actually making the wildly clashing types of ornaments work together. She retreated to the roof with a bottle of wine. Catrina and Sheonte joined her.

“All this Christmas bullshit,” Sheonte said.

“Yeah.” April took a swig directly from the bottle, and then handed it to Sheonte, her eyes a challenge. Was Sheonte going to be all prissy and refuse to take a drink because April’s lips had touched the bottle?

The answer was no. Sheonte slugged down what was probably more than one swig. “Catrina?”

“Why the hell not,” Catrina said, and took the bottle. “Mrow.”

As she put it down, she said, “Last Christmas I was at Batrice’s mansion with Lulu and Foxy and Raven. We put purple and blue lights all over the outside of the house, mreow. Then we had steak, nice and bloody, and we decorated the tree. We had poinsettias, and lilies, and colored balls, and Foxy and I chased them around before we put them on the tree.”

“Sounds fantastic,” April said sarcastically.

“It was. It was great. I had real friends.”

“Real friends,” Cherry Blossom said, pushing open the door to the roof. “I had real friends too.”

“Thought you were sleeping off your drunk,” April said.

“I did that. Now I have the biggest headache. Pass the bottle?”

“Thought you only ate apples,” Sheonte said.

“Naah, I can get drunk the human way too.” Cherry Blossom was plainly still somewhat drunk, but four legs, even unsteady ones, were better at staying upright than two legs. She made her way over to the other three and sat down next to Catrina, who passed her the bottle.

“If you had such good friends, why aren’t you with them now?” April asked Catrina. “You try to kill one of them?”

“That would never happen,” Catrina said. “Even if one of them did sleep with my boyfriend – which none of them did, mraow – I would never turn against them.”

“Oh, la-di-da, you’re so much better than us dumb fucks,” Sheonte said. “You so ride or die, why ain’t you hanging with them now?”

“Because I can’t.” Catrina took the bottle back from Cherry Blossom. “We’re monsters. Shapeshifters. Were-girls, right? I’m a cat, Lulu’s a wolf, Raven’s kinda obvious…”

“So?” April reached for the bottle, bypassing Sheonte’s turn.

“So, villagers with pitchforks. Basically. Meow. We had to split up, the cops kept hassling us and there were lawsuits, and we decided it was best to leave Batrice’s mansion, except for Batrice of course. We’re trying to find a place all of us can live, but rents are so high around here, mraow.”

“That’s so sad,” Cherry Blossom said. “No one should be getting in the way of true friendship.” She reached for the bottle, but Sheonte, who’d finally gotten it, didn’t pass it back.

“This shit’s weaksauce, April. You got anything better?”

April opened her large handbag and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. “I got this.”

“Shiiiit. Yeah, gimme some’a that.”

Sheonte passed the bottle of wine to Cherry Blossom to finish as she opened the whiskey. Cherry Blossom said, “I miss my friends. I miss Ponyland. You people aren’t even my species, and I have to perform in your movies, and do pony rides, and you know what? At home I wasn’t even an actress! I wasn’t even a performer! I ran a grocery store! I sold fruit!”

“Didn’t you say you used to save the world?”

“Yeah, me and my friends used to use the magic of friendship to defeat monsters and evil sorcerors and stuff.”

“How’s a grocery store manager get a position like that?”

Cherry shrugged. “A new mare comes to your hometown with a prophecy, you know how it is.” She threw the now-empty wine bottle off the roof. “Why haven’t they come for me? I thought we were best friends. I thought we’d do anything for each other. Why haven’t they found me yet?”

Sheonte passed the whiskey to April. “Last Christmas we all got together at Yana’s house and we stood around the tree and we strung tinsel garlands all around it. Handing off to each other. The guys were helping with the stuff at the top, it was a tall tree. We had white and gold ribbons tied in bows, and pretty white doves and shit. Had Coke and rum, and Shannon made a cake…”

“Oh, wow, you people used to have such awesome Christmases.”

Sheonte glared at April. “We did. Because we had friends. I thought I had friends, anyway. I didn’t know Viv was gonna end up fucking my boyfriend and then all of them were gonna take her side.”

“I thought I had friends, too,” Cherry Blossom said, taking her turn with the whiskey. “Last Festival of Friendship, we decorated the whole town. Featherfall was getting all the birds to help out with putting snow garlands on everything… Spark had magicked the snow so it would stick together in a garland…” She began to sob. “I’ll never see them again, will I? Maybe they can’t get here! Maybe they can’t find me, and I’ll have to live here forever and ever…”

Catrina sniffled. “Meow. I wanna get back with my friends so bad. I can’t believe I gotta spend Christmas with you bitches instead of my real friends, mraow.”

“I wanna forgive them,” Sheonte said, beginning to cry. “I wanna forgive them so bad, I want everything to be like it was before, but how can I? How can it? I want to go back to the Divazz… I want Jax…”

April, dry-and-stony-eyed, stared off into the distance as around her, her tenants all broke down crying over the Christmases they couldn’t have with friends that weren’t here. All the friends she’d ever had who’d left her had done it because she was a bitch to them, and she knew it. Sheonte could fantasize about going back to the Divazz and Catrina to the Weargirls and Cherry Blossom to Ponyland, but April had never had a group of friends like they had had. Just two boyfriends, and family, and a bunch of bitches who’d used her to get ahead just like she’d been using them.

“I fucking hate Christmas,” she said.