#without the background of everyone else involved

[candycryptids]

“Please treat your life like I would have.”

“Every night, the same dream, every morning, the same emptiness… what I wouldn’t give for you to still be here.”

Vierapril Day 3: Rest/Wish

Or, rather. The lack of rest? I hope I conveyed that dream sequence of everything feeling Strange and becoming blurry/hazy the more you try to hold onto it.

[this-doesnt-endd]

I love the museum scene from ferris bueller so much not only cause its just great but also cause like everytime i see it i see myself and think about how special that kind of moment is

[httpiastri]

ollie bearman x crawford!reader

the instagram story was subtle enough. or, at least, so you thought.

ollie didn't seem to agree.

it was a video of you in the newly bought sundress you'd decided to wear to the sprint race today; twirling around in your hotel room, the geotag of "silverstone circuit" in the top right corner. but none of this is what ollie cares about: it's the choice of background music.

they say home is where the heart is, but god i love the english. you know i love a london boy…

the poor boy nearly had a heart attack when he saw it in the paddock. he thought it was super obvious; "i love a london boy" could only mean one thing.

your relationship with ollie is still secret from everyone, including your brother, to ensure that people won't get involved in your private business. besides, once the news is out even in just the racing world, you know it will spread and get big in no time; that's the way it usually is with formula drivers. especially fan-favorites like ollie. so, for the moment, you've decided to just enjoy wherever this takes you, without caring what anyone else thinks. but now, he's scared you've blown it.

your instagram account is on private, so you aren't afraid of fans snooping around and seeing it. but still, it worries ollie; your brother follows you, and that is much worse than fans, he reckons. when you first started going out, you thought it would be natural to tell your twin brother about it, considering the fact that ollie is one of his best friends – but ollie disagreed. the whole dating your best friend's sibling-thing never went well in the movies, and that's all he had to go after.

the song echoes in his brain all morning. during the driver meeting, his pre-race briefings, even as he watches the f3 sprint. he likes my american smile like a child when our eyes meet; darling, i fancy you. all morning leading up to the race, he's distracted and can't think of anything else, though his mechanics and engineers think he's just focused on the race ahead of him. ollie needs some kind of closure, and it isn't until he spots you walking down the f2 paddock that he finds an opportunity.

it's not long before ollie is supposed to get into his car that he sees you on your way to the dams garage. the sundress you showed off in your instagram story looks even better in the real world, and he can't help but swoon at the sight of your smile lighting up the paddock just as much as the sun. he snaps out of it just in time, because when you walk past the prema garage, he swoops out and grabs your wrist, pulling you in.

"ollie-" is all you can get out because now he's pulling you along with him so fast that you can barely even keep up. you manage to nod and greet a few of the prema workers on your way – most people recognize you as jak's sister since you spent a lot of time in the paddock with them last year – but soon, ollie has managed to find you a secluded corner far in the back with no one around.

you rest one hand on his shoulder as you try to catch your breath, looking up at your boyfriend with pinched eyebrows. "you..." he starts, letting out a sigh. "your story on instagram..."

"what about it?"

you weren't usually one to tease him, so he assumes you are actually sincere in your current confusion. the thought of your story may have been etched into his mind for the last few hours and the reason behind his displeasure might be totally clear in his head – but you never were one to read thoughts, which he sometimes forgets. "jak is going to know."

you don't look any less confused by now, which makes ollie feel even more impatient. "why would he know?"

"the song choice. london boy, really? it's so obvious." he pauses for a moment. "you can't do that."

his words are meant as a warning, but the smile on his lips tells a whole other story. no matter how scared he is that your brother will find out that you've been hiding this relationship from him, he can't stop himself from finding it just a bit amusing. and with the way that you're still watching him with such an innocent look and your other hand is also reaching for his shoulder, there's no way he can hold back a grin.

"sweetheart, it's one of the most popular songs out right now. in the entire world. no one will even bat an eye. plus," you tilt your head. "i'm an american girl in england, so london boy is an obvious choice."

"you could've chosen so many other songs about england, but you had to choose that one?"

the chuckle leaves your throat instantly. "you're not even a london boy, ollie."

he knows he's lost. he knows he's just worrying about nothing, he knows there's a much bigger risk that someone finds out about you being here with him in the prema garage than jak connecting the dots from just your story. but he can't give up just yet.

"i'll forgive you. but on one condition," he says, and you immediately nod at him. "give me a kiss. for good luck."

there's not even a second of hesitation before you get onto your tippy toes, reaching up to him. your lips are pressed onto his once, then twice, then thrice. you're both smiling into it, and his hands cup your cheeks, holding you close when you part for the last time.

"you know," he starts, thumbs drawing circles into your cheeks. "i fancy you."

the giggle that leaves your lips is like music to his ears. did he actually study the song? "oh, oliver," you say, trying to pull off your most british accent. "darling, i fancy you, too."

[masakianzai]

I wanna talk about Anzai

I love him and i think he's an amazing and Extremely Overlooked character so im gonna ramble. sorry.

like i get it, he kind of has Chronic Background Character Syndrome (fortunately for him i have a Thing for characters like that) and he's not all that strong of a fighter. But he played a HUGE role in helping sakura grow and open up.

He was one of the first bofurin students to be casually friendly with Sakura and make him feel welcome after the fight with Sugishita

And he's the one who gets Sakura really thinking about what he can do for his class, and how to put Umemiya's words into action. Up till chapter 38 Sakura would just swing at whatever problem was directly in front of him, but Anzai changes that

It's clear that Sakura and Anzai have some traits in common too. Anzai tries to deal with Keel on his own, without asking for help or bothering anyone else. Sakura clearly respects that and sees something of himself in Anzai. He doesn't commit to getting involved in his business until he sees that Tsuchiya and Nagato are also hurt and that Anzai definitely Can't deal with it on his own

In the fight against Keel, even though he's grandstanding and being way too self-focused, Sakura still prioritizes clearing the way for Anzai to get to Nagato before anything else. It doesn't work out but i think this was the first step Sakura took in learning to work as a team and protecting someone's back (think later when he and Sugishita team up on the bridge)

and anzai is, of course, the first one to go down in that fight too. Nirei is the more important one but Anzai going down is the start of Sakura freezing up and losing control

And then the kicker for me is Anzai's forgiveness. First of Nagato, and then of Sakura. He prioritizes open communication and lets both of them get out all of their fears and insecurities and vent about how unforgivable and unlovable they think they are. And then he calls them dumbasses and reminds them that there's nothing that needs forgiving. That conversation with Nagato is one of the reasons Sakura even works up the courage to admit his fears to everyone.

And of course in That Scene(TM) in chapter 60 everyone pitches in on the conversation. But out of everyone in the class, all the people that Sakura had been building friendships with this whole time. The one who says it directly to his face is Anzai. Someone he identified with, someone he wanted to help, someone he failed to protect, someone he was terrified of being rejected by. Anzai is the one who grabs him by the neck and says Who gives a shit? We care about you, and nothing you do or say will change that.

and THAT LINE is what gets us this

anyway in conclusion i need more love and appreciation for anzai, he's such a good and kind person and the story uses him SO well. Solidly a top-5 character to me, maybe even a top 3

[sunny44]

I don’t wanna do it

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x girlfriend!reader

Warnings: just fluff

Summary: They had plans but something came up and she’s not in the mood to do it.

Carlos and I hadn't seen each other for two months due to our busy schedules, so our relationship in recent months relied on FaceTime calls and text messages. Today was the day he would come home, and we had been talking for weeks about what we would do, which obviously involved a lot of sex.

However, I wasn't having a good day; I was extremely stressed at work and spent my entire lunch break crying. I decided to send him a message because I didn't want him to arrive with high expectations and find me lying in pajamas, looking like I was about to fall apart.

Hubby ❤️

Me

Hey babe

Hubby

Hey love, are you okay?

Me

I know we had "plans" for tonight. Is it okay if we don't do it?

Hubby

Of course, my love. You don't even have to ask me

Me

I know, but I wanted to ask because I know we haven't seen each other in months, and I know you were excited about it

Hubby

It's fine. I respect your feelings, and if you're not in the mood, I'm fine with it. I'm not gonna force you into it

Me

Thank you

Hubby

You don't have to thank me. We have all the time in the world. I'm happy with just cuddles and kisses tonight

Me

I love you so much

Hubby

I love you more.

I’ll get home in a few hours

I left my phone on the bedside table, turned on the TV for background noise, and turned off the lights, curling up in the middle of the blankets to get some sleep

...

I woke up somewhat startled by the sudden weight on the bed, but I quickly calmed down when I smelled him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scared you," he whispered softly in my ear, and I snuggled closer to him.

"It's okay," I said in a low voice. "How was the trip?"

"Tiring, smooth but tiring."

"Sorry for ruining our plans."

"Hey, you didn't ruin anything," he said, turning me to face him. "We have time for that, and I don't want you to feel pressured to do something you don't want."

"I know, it's just that we've been apart for so long, and we spent weeks planning what we would do when you arrived, and I messed it up."

"Stop saying that," he said. "You didn't mess anything up, and I don't want you apologizing. Your company is more than enough for me."

"Okay," I said, snuggling closer to him.

"Want to tell me what got you like this?" he asked, stroking my hair.

"It's just that everything that could go wrong did today," I sighed. "My boss was unbearable, demanding deadlines for projects that weren't even mine, half the staff is sick and everyone was in a bad mood. And you know how I get when people argue with me."

I admit it; I'm sensitive.

I become extremely emotional when people argue with me over something that wasn't my fault or isn't within my control, like project deadlines that aren't mine.

"I know," he said softly. "Have you thought about quitting?"

"What?" I looked at him, startled.

"You've been complaining about this senseless pressure for a while and you're tired. Don't you think leaving would be a good idea?"

"It might be, but I can't be without a job; we have bills to pay, and..." he interrupted me.

"You know that I wouldn't mind supporting you, but I know you don't want to be dependent on me. I also know you enjoy what you do, so I won't ask you to stop and travel with me. So, what about taking some time for yourself, resting your mind and then looking for something else? You know I can handle the expenses until you find something."

"I know you can, it's just that I hate feeling useless."

"You're not and never will be useless. You can either rest at home, or you can travel with me," he said, looking directly into my eyes. "We'll have more time together, and you know I drive much better with you around."

"I'll think about it." He looked at me somewhat suspiciously. "I'm serious; I'll think about it. I think you're right; I do need a break."

"Okay," he kissed my forehead, and I snuggled closer to him. "I love you."

"I love you too. Thanks for being the best boyfriend in the world and taking care of me."

"Always."

Bonus scene!

Yourusername instagram stories

“My baby is finally back”

[battlekidx2]

Since the season of Hazbin Hotel has ended I'm going to update my thoughts on who Alastor made a deal with because this is probably the aspect of the show where my opinion has shifted the most. I originally thought he was connected with Lilith (like a lot of other people) then I thought it could be Eve, but now I'm fairly sure it's not either of them.

I think it might be Roo.

Roo is a character that hasn't yet made an appearance in Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss, but has been a looming presence for years now if you've kept up with Vivziepop, references to them appearing in the background of both shows, and stated to be the root of all evil. Basically the endgame "villain" of this universe.

It was that last episode that really shifted my perspective on who Alastor has the deal with. The biggest thing was something I noticed in the finale, but then saw other people point out after the fact as well, and that's the fact that eyes follow Alastor around anywhere he goes. (This post in particular shows just how prevalent eyes following Alastor is through the show)

When Alastor is having his breakdown the eyes specifically look like this.

Look a bit familiar?

Whenever Alastor is questioned about his whereabouts for the last seven years he always gets shifty. Eyes darting around, face pointedly looking away from whoever he's talking to, making sure he defuses the question without giving any indication of the real answer.

I initially thought this was because some of these comments hit too close to home and his pride wouldn't allow him to show any weakness, but pair it with the eyes that follow him around and there's the possibility that he's instead being forced to keep quiet. These eyes are watching him, making sure he stays in line. Alastor has to walk on eggshells just in case whoever it is that owns his soul is watching.

It's this ability to make Alastor stay on guard coupled with the moment in the destroyed radio tower that all but confirmed that whoever it is Alastor is, at least on some level, afraid of them. Or at the very least it's someone Alastor shows much more restraint and pause around than anyone else he has come face to face with in the series. Someone who has him on high alert.

This is the same guy who immediately started a conflict with Lucifer because he felt his pride threatened. The literal king of hell who he has to know is more powerful than him. Yet at no point does Alastor ever feel like he's walking on eggshells around him like he does this invisible entity that owns his soul.

If this is the case then what if the person that Alastor made a deal with is even more powerful than Lucifer himself? Or at least close to Lucifer's power level, but much more willing to use it? Someone Alastor can't find leverage over like he can the king of hell.

That really limits the options for who it could be.

I still think that whatever happened 7 years ago Lilith was involved, but the more hints we get to the reality of Lilith and Alastor's situations the more convinced I am that she isn't the one he has a contract with.

Whatever happened 7 years ago it was enough to get her to make a deal with Adam to stay in heaven, hidden from everyone including her family, and it made Alastor go missing for that same period of time.

I've never been a theory person, but this story thread in Hazbin Hotel is incredibly enticing. I can't wait for next season to see where they take this.

[poomphuripan]

Director Pepzi Banchorn Vorasataree - iQIYI Exclusive Interview Transcript

[What makes 'My Stand-In' special?]

Pepzi: The uniqueness of this series lies in my perspective of it being a youth drama. However, it's the kind of youth drama that's like... So typically youth dramas should be bright, simple and straightforward right? But this youth series has real drama and delves into the intricacies of life and emotions. It has these life stories that makes me feel like... Like about a painful youth which makes me think that having a series like this would be very interesting. Because the series not only portrays the mundane aspects of life but also adds a touch of fantasy, not in the sense of envisioning a futuristic fantasy, but rather, revolving around life's themes. I find these elements fascinating.

[What are some challenges you face as Thailand's first female Y Series (LGBTQIA+ series) director?]

Pepzi: Some refer to me as the "mother of LGBTQIA+ dramas," but not for any specific reason though but it's because I'm the only few [female directors]. Everyone else is typically called something like "father of...". With a BL series foundation, people often express delight in the fact that I make Y series, that I understand the NC scenes, and grasp the dynamics and critical scenes between same-sex characters. However, I'd like to emphasize that, my starting point/intention is that I always love to direct a love story, whether it involves same-sex or other relationships, the base of it has to be a love story. I believe that, once we have understood love, whether it's BL with men loving men or women loving women or men loving women, ultimately, they all share the same foundation being love stories [regardless of gender]. As long as we understand love enough, and perhaps it's also because of my age [re: personal experiences], I have seen been able to see various forms of love, which have evolved over different stages of my life. Therefore, to me, directing LGBTQ+ dramas is just like directing another form of love story. Each of my works revolves around love. Thus, I don't differentiate between whether it's a Y series or not.

[Why did you decide to direct "Stand-in"?]

Pepzi: The opportunity to direct "My Stand-In" arose when I met Ms. Yuan, (the CEO) of YYDS. YYDS wanted me... so they initially reached out to me, however, at that time, I was quite exhausted and looking forward to taking a break. Cause like your body/health after working on four, five series... Actually during the pandemic, I had been involved in numerous projects without any rest or travel. Until one day, I decided to take a break. I rested for several months without working, without taking on any new works. Then when Yuan contacted me again, I even told her I would only consider it after hearing the plot. I was planning to decline if it didn't pique my interest. Because I'm at that age where I should just rest. Later, I told her I wanted to meet and see the content. Ultimately, when we met and Yuan showed me the Chinese script translated in Thai, I realized it was a really interesting/fun story. The storyline was so compelling that it drew me, someone who was on a break, back to work. At that point, I had only read the plot. It wasn't until later that I found out it was based on a popular Chinese novel with millions of views. Honestly, while reading the novel, I found the storyline truly remarkable and felt compelled to direct it. It was only later that I learned about its background story and the powerful narrative it held.

[What gives you confidence in this series?]

Pepzi: First, upon receiving the plot, I thought the original Chinese version was so good. But I knew we would have to adapt storyline to make a Thai version (re:suit the Thai audience), and we had a conversation with the Chinese scriptwriters right at the beginning to ask for permission in order to make adjustments if they wanted me to make this. If they wanted me to direct, they had to trust my abilities, choices, and decisions. We had to localize the storyline to fit the Thai context. Eventually, after discussions with the original Chinese author (Shui Qian Cheng), who agreed to the adaptation adjustments, we moved forward. Every time we make a change, we would thoroughly discussed between both parties. I felt that the fact that everything proceeded smoothly from the outset was an excellent sign. Plus, being given the freedom to select the cast based on my aesthetic preferences or the vibes of the series was empowering. However, every decision I made was preceded by discussions with the team so it felt like this drama is good in all aspects. I believe that this is a BL or Y series where we really chose the main characters based on the storyline. Meaning, we looked for actors suitable for the roles according to the plot, and the result turned out great, just like it is now.

[What are the differences between the TV series and the novel?]

Pepzi: The structure is similar, but we made some changes to the context to make it more suitable for a Thai audience. It's not just about incorporating into Thai culture, but including the lifestyle or the way Thai people think and live. Because ultimately, this is a Thai series with the kind of plot geared towards a Thai audience so we believe that most of the viewers will be Thai. But we also trust that the Thai people perspectives can resonate globally. Changes can be made, but we aim to preserve the fundamental cultural aspects of Thailand.

[How is the director's job, and what's special about it?]

Pepzi: One aspect we paid particular attention to is the action scenes. While I can direct action scenes, some crucial segments required additional assistance to help me make those scenes look cool/badass. And the person who can make [those action scenes] look cool/badass is THE Kongkiat Komesiri, or P'Khom. I've known Kongkiat for a long time, over ten years. Kongkiat offered to help designing some action scenes or pivotal moments in the series. In this series, there's also a crew that many others may not know much about but it's the stunt crew team. For the stunt team of this series, Ja is responsible for/lead of the crew. P'Ja is Jeeja Yanin, I don't know if we're born in the same year (re: if we're the same age) or not. P'Ja came to help oversee our stunt, action and fight sequences and even the training of the actors. Since this series is related to stunt doubles, we aimed to gather the most talented individuals in every aspect within our capabilities. So I feel like everyone involved that we've been able to gather are people who are skilled in their respective fields. From my perspective, I've already done my best and everyone else also brings their best. So I feel like the entire team is... If it's someone in the production industry, they'd know that to be able to do that is pretty amazing.

[Why must it be Up and Poom?]

Pepzi: Why Up and Poom? Initially, we were looking for Ming and Joe. We had to find Ming and Joe. After an analysis, we found it quite challenging. So, we started with Joe. Joe's character is a stunt double, the top one in Thai martial arts dramas. He had to be handsome because he would be doubling for the hottest stars, and his acting skills needed to be top-notch. He also had to convey emotions well and be disciplined. We were searching very hard. In the end, nearly 400 actors wanted to play Joe. And I was the person who watched everyone who auditioned. We auditioned everyone, then matched and paired them up until we finally found that... we chose Up and we chose Poom. And I dare say here that on the day we made our decision, Poom wasn't necessarily the actor with best acting skill among the 400. But for me, Poom is the person who resembled Joe the most. After selecting Poom, I told him to put in more effort. I felt like I really hoped the audience would give him a chance. He wasn't someone with prior fame or popularity, but Poom is a talented actor. Because Poom had really stepped into the role/embodied his role as Joe and that Joe is the most perfect version of Joe for me.

As for Up, once we found our Joe... Actually we found our Ming first but Ming was even harder to find than Joe because he had to be born into wealth, things which we couldn't fabricate. Right? Moreover, he had to be a skilled actor because he needed to portray depth. As a top executive of a company, who had to be secretly in love with someone, someone his sister loves, and he had to back off. Then, he accidentally falls for someone else. That accidental entanglement turns out to the biggest true love of his life. We auditioned numerous people, including celebrities. Many, many people. Ultimately, it was a gut feeling, perhaps intuition? I really saw shades of Ming in Up. They resembled each other. And then Up actually came to audition. But I'm very grateful to Yuan because one day Yuan went to talk to Up saying that Pepzi's simple request was for Up to come for an audition because I wanted to see if Up was really (suitable for) that character. So Up really came to the audition. It was the first tape audition, then finally, we started looking for someone who could pair well with Up. And it took many steps before Up and Poom became our Ming and Joe.

[What do actors need to prepare to become their characters?]

Pepzi: Mostly, it was a LOT workshops but there's also many types of workshops and we have to differentiate between them. So especially for Poom, there were many workshops. We'd have a regular acting workshop, like an acting workshop between Up and Poom for them to work on their emotional scenes together. But Poom also has a separate workshop to handle stunt sequences due to his character's profession as a stunt double. Poom really had a lot of these action workshops and he worked diligently in all of them. His positions/stunt sequences he showed were really good. Shoutout to the instructors and the crew of P'Jeeja for this. Additionally, there's one last workshop and it's the intemacy workshop for the intimate scenes. Ultimately, despite containing mature content, the foundation of these scenes is love. Both actors trusted us, and we conducted rehearsals for intimate scenes beforehand. We're thankful for their cooperation and trust, and their compatibility was evident from the first shoot. This series is filled with love, not lust, but love. That's why there were those scenes. Yea, so much thanks to them.

[From day one to today, what have you seen in the actors?]

Pepzi: I've been able to witness their development as actors when they're playing these characters. Like I've said previously, we chose them because we saw Ming and Joe in them. But as they continued to portray the roles, I dare say that they are truly the actual Ming and Joe. They are the reason why I need to thank God even more for validating our decision that day. Because from what they've shown us, our decision that day was correct and it's becoming more apparent. And one more thing, I want to thank these two people for really embodying their characters and putting in immense effort to get into these roles. This is the transformation we've seen. They not only improved as actors but also became the characters themselves, like embodying their essence.

[Are you satisfied with the work after months of filming?]

Pepzi: To be honest, just like the audience, I'm eager to see it. However, we know the storyline because we're the ones arranging the plot's sequence, and I'm also responsible for editing in the post-production phase. Honestly, if I may say so without sounding conceited, I believe I gave it my all. Everyone worked diligently, and while it may not be 100% perfect for others, for us, bringing together everyone's strengths, we're not ashamed to say and we're always ready for others to see and critique.

[What were the difficulties in making this series?]

Pepzi: The difficulty was the action scenes and the drama. But both boys performed exceptionally well. I'm really thankful to them, especially with the blocking of scenes.

[What were the challenges of this script/story?]

Pepzi: The challenge of this series is making viewers believe in our protagonist's guiding storyline. This story with a male lead who I dare say that it's a character who the audience must curse at while watching. I believe some viewers will be upset, and there are certain plot points that some may not like. But like I've said, Ming is just human; he also has unlikable aspects (t/n: the exact term Pepzi used is that Ming has a few 'not so cute' aspect). However, Up's portrayal of Ming convinces us. When it airs, some people may criticize him because his character truly destestable and deserves all these the curses, but it's also important to emphasize that Up fearlessly played this role without fear of losing his image. And so I'm genuinely grateful and thankful if Up['s character] receives criticism afterward, because it's also a recognition that he plays Ming so accurately and well. Everyone please save Up.

[Most difficult and favorite scenes]

Pepzi: The NC scene when they first met. For me, it was difficult because of the blocking for that scene and I'm the person who did the blocking myself. Feeling of enjoyment from my own work. Because the starting point is this initial spark of love from the staircase, then to the room, and then we also incorporated the raining effect while the actors have to perform the NC scenes with multiple blockings. In order for an NC scene to be beautiful, not only does it require the actors' emotions but also the right blockings and the right camera work. It's a challenge for the actors and everyone involved, but I believe the results will be great, and indeed, they've been showcased exceptionally well. There may also be complaints. For my favorite scene... Actually my favorite scene is also an NC scene. However, it's an NC near the end of the series... Because as I've said before, and I have emphasized this repeatedly to the actors that these [NC] scenes aren't just for shock value (t/n: exact term Pepzi used is that these NC scenes do not exist "simply for the viewers to drive their ships"); the specific reason is to depict the love between the characters over time. The plot spans two lifetimes, from the previous one to the current, and it's necessary to complete this love story. For the last NC scene, since I'm the person who designed every action for it, I felt like there were lots of moments that make go... [squeals] There were some shy moments, but in the end, everything stems from love. The two actors also have great chemistry, and for me, and for me, it all turned into beautiful scenes. I thank them very much.

[Explain the name of title "My Stand-in"]

Pepzi: A stand-in is like a substitute. We used a particular person as a substitute for someone else. In the storyline, Joe substitutes for everything three times. The first time, he's a stunt double, a profession on its own. But being a stuntman means it's the profession where Joe willing becomes another star's stand-in. What does this mean? Even there's fame, it belongs to the star, not the substitute. That's the first time being a stand-in. Later on, the second stand-in occurs when he suddenly has a lover who only likes him from behind because his back looks like that of the star. So, Joe is a stand-in, a stand-in again for love. The third time, Joe himself dies and is reborn. Not reborn as a new person, but being transformed into someone else's body. Finally, he circles around until he returns back again to his old life. I think this kind of substitute is his own substitute. It's the third time being a stand-in. So, this series represents Joe being substituting for many aspects.

[Expectations for this drama]

Pepzi: I only hope the viewers watching the series will see the dedication of all the actors as well as the staff. Regarding ratings and... what do they call it?... ahh Twitter trends and things like that, honestly, as a person who works on the series, I can say it without being embarassment that we want it to be high too since it's normal that everyone hopes for that as it's one metric to gauge the quality of this series. But actually more importantly for me, the buzz on Twitter should come from a genuine liking of the series from the viewers' hearts. After watching it, if everyone genuinely falls in love with this series, as creators, we naturally anticipate feedback from the audience. Whether it's praise or criticism, we're happy. But as I've said, I've given my all to showcase our best work for everyone to see.

[Recommend "My Stand-In" to everyone]

Pepzi: Thank you all. Both the actors and the staff have put their best talents into this series. I want the audience to see this as well. I want the audience to see this as well. Please pay more attention to My Stand-In. You can watch it on IQIYI Original. I really hope everyone, as I said, to see that all the staff have put their best talents into this series. We're really eager for everyone to watch it. Whether you like it or not, everyone can comment. We're very proud to introduce this series as really good. You must watch it!

You can watch the original interview here with iQIYI VIP.

[shepherds-of-haven]

Happy New Year, everyone! I thought it would be fun to do a little retrospective on the game's progress over the last year... Shepherds of Haven has grown so much from the little demo I posted in January 2018, and it continues to steadily build and flourish in so many different and exciting ways! Here's a look at just some of the things we accomplished in 2023!

I added 143,151 words to the game (2.5 main chapters, 8 new character interludes) in 2023: the equivalent of writing the longest Lord of the Rings book in one year! We also broke our huge 1 million word milestone—without including code—meaning Shepherds of Haven is now officially twice as long as War and Peace, and almost as long as the entire 7-book Harry Potter series... and all in a single game!

A lot goes into game creation behind the scenes, including the coordination and creation of visual assets for the game—like character cards, codex entries, maps, portraits, and backgrounds—fun stuff for the fans (like the MC info template we created), and songs for the official soundtrack. As the game creeps slowly and determinedly towards its initial completion, that also means learning new things as a solo developer to prepare for the future, like learning to build an official website, researching business and tax practices, and beginning to think about how to conduct testing, publishing, and marketing down the road. Much of what I enumerate here hasn't been made public yet and will continue to cook in the background for a while, but I'm very proud of the work I've gotten done this year and will be excited to unveil more in the future!

And of course, for even more Shepherds of Haven content, I've added and completed even more stories for our little library on Patreon (which also has sizable word count at this point): The Bridge of Bones (a Trouble and Riel murder mystery), O Happy Dagger (a dark adventure featuring Briony, Chase, and Red), and The Hunt (a wild tale involving Tallys, Halek, Shery, and new kinds of spirits, fey magic, and Elves) were all serial stories completed in 2023, while Some Kind of Virus is a cyberpunk zombie apocalypse AU that will continue to be updated with new chapters monthly.

A full list of the Shepherd short stories and serial novellas (with links) can be viewed here!

I hope you enjoyed this session of Shepherds of Haven Wrapped! Honestly, this doesn't actually cover everything I've been working on, but some things can't be packaged and listed out neatly, or otherwise won't seem very interesting to anyone else but me! 😂 As we inch through Chapter 9 and get more interludes done (only a few more main chapters to go), I'm hopeful that I'll also be able to find time to work on my next novel, but we'll see if the Shepherds schedule ends up ramping up or settling down as we work steadily towards finishing the main story!

One important thing before wrapping up is to acknowledge your guys' role in this wonderful, wild journey. I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you for your invaluable contributions to the development of Shepherds of Haven. Whether you took the time to share links to the game, supported its growth on Discord or Patreon, left encouraging messages or asked interesting questions, reported bugs, or showcased your remarkable works of fanfiction or fanart, I am sincerely thankful for the unwavering support from this amazing community! Your collective efforts have played a pivotal role in shaping the world of the game into what it is today. Words cannot adequately convey my gratitude for your support, and I am truly blessed to have such a passionate community surrounding this project.

As we step into 2024, I am filled with anticipation for the developments awaiting Shepherds of Haven. Big things are on the horizon, and I am so excited to share these experiences with you! Thank you for being an integral part of this journey, and here's to the continued growth of our shared little world. Cheers to 2024—may it be a year filled with creativity, adventure, and joy! 🎊

[boldlyvoid]

Waiting Rooms

Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Summary: JJ goes into labour with her second baby, on Christmas Eve. Aaron and Emily are the only two still in town, they rush to the hospital to support her where Aaron meets a lovely woman who's friend is also giving birth that same night.

Warnings: Pregnant JJ, mentions of throwing up, Meet Cutes, Love at First Sight | Canon rewrite: Haley doesn't die, JJ doesn't lose her baby in season 6, Emily is Alive and living with Aaron for the time being

Word Count: 2.7k

After losing Emily, JJ was able to rejoin the team. And thank god because Hotch was struggling to keep things afloat without both of them. Spencer was a mess, Penelope was needier than ever and Derek... Derek had this look of vengeance in his eyes that made Aaron worried what he did to Foyet look like a walk in the park.

It was scary. 

The only one who was semi okay was Dave and that’s only because he’s better at hiding his feelings than anyone else on the team. 

JJ was doing really good pretending to be distraught while knowing the truth that their good friend was safely tucked away in Paris for the time being. But something was off about her in the first few weeks that she was back… something he couldn’t quite place until she threw up on the jet. 

He went back to pour himself a drink on their way home when he heard her in the jet washroom. He was instantly worried, he knocked on the door and asked if she was okay. She groaned, but let him in. He helped her up to her feet again, got her some tissues to wipe her mouth and stared at her with the most concern in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing's wrong,” she can’t help but smile. “I’m pregnant…” 

He’s been so, so happy for her ever since. He keeps close to her side on cases, he keeps snacks in his bag for her and they double up in hotel rooms later on in her pregnancy just in case she needs anything in the middle of the night. She’s not one to go on early maternity leave, so starting at 27 weeks, he steps up his protectiveness and steps in when he knows she needs to go easy on herself. Wills grateful, he knows she’s in good hands with all the boys on the team and even Sever was really good at taking care of her before she transferred over to Andy Swan’s unit. 

And much to everyone's surprise, Emily is back in their life when JJ hits 7 months pregnant and she’s so pissed that she can’t be involved in the takedown due to her baby bump. She wanted revenge, she wanted to make Ian Doyle pay… but getting to sit back at the BAU with Emily made up for it. Everything goes smoothly, they get Ian in custody, and they find his son-- sure the criminals all died at the trade-off, but at least Emily was safe from here on out. 

The team is overjoyed that they get another Halloween with Emily. Another Thanksgiving, another Christmas and right as New Year's rolls around, JJ is due to bring in another member to their little family… they get two weeks off baring any emergency cases and so everyone goes their separate ways with the plan to come back right before new years to be there when JJ has her baby.  

Spencer’s gone back to Vegas with his mom, Derek goes to Chicago with his mom and sisters, and Dave ends up in Long Island with his cousins and the few aunts he has left… Haley has Jack for Christmas this year, Penelope was volunteering at the local homeless shelter to give out Turkey dinner and so that left Emily and Aaron at his house— where she’s been living since coming back, with nothing to do.

And then the phone rings right before midnight. Moments before Christmas Day click's over.  

“Hotchner?” He answers, expecting it to be a work call. 

“Hey, JJ’s water broke and we’re at the hospital. Her mom has Henry, she’s like 5 centimetres now and she really wants you and Emily here,” Will rushes out. 

“I need them!” She calls from the background. 

“We’ll be there in a few minutes,” he assures before hanging up. He quickly gets up from bed to put his pants back on and rushes out the door, down the hall, he knocks on Emily’s door. 

“What?” She answers and so he pushes the door open. She has a book in one hand and wine in the other. “Sure, come in.” 

“JJ’s water broke, she wants us there,” he says. “Come on, I’ll see you downstairs.” 

He grabs the rest of his things while she hurries to get back into something appropriate for waiting in a hospital for god knows how long. But they were going to be there the whole time. They were last time, they would be this time and then again if she ever has a 3rd. Or 4th… but he doesn’t see that happening. 

The drive over is nice, the roads are clear and it doesn’t look like it’ll snow again anytime soon. Emily’s quiet, bouncing her knee and picking at her fingers. She’s not good with other people being in pain, especially not the people she loves… she’s the first one in the room when they get there. She kisses JJ on the head and asks if she needs anything and JJ just smiles up at her. 

“They gave me the good shit,” she holds up her hand with an IV in it. “I’m great.” 

“You look good,” Aaron gives her a smile. He loves her like a daughter, he’s so proud of her and she does look amazing for a woman going through the worst pain imaginable. 

Just before she can reply, a nurse shows up in the doorway, “I’m so sorry, but it’s after visiting hours which means we can only allow 2 family members in the room at a time…” 

“I’ll go,” Aaron offers, knowing how much time with Emily would mean to JJ. “I’ll be in the waiting room.” 

“Okay,” JJ gives him a smile. “Thank you for coming, Aaron.” 

“Anytime,” he smiles right back before heading out with a wave. 

The waiting room is pretty empty, seeing as it is just after midnight on Christmas Day. Most people plan to have a baby around Christmas, avoiding it like the plague. JJ wasn’t due till New Year's, but, she has a habit of going into labour early. He sits alone in one of the pink pleather seats, there’s magazines on a rack in the corner and the news quietly on the TV screwed into the wall in the top right corner of the room. The chair he picked is perfect for watching the TV, however depressing the reports are, it keeps him company for the time being. 

Another woman walks out into the waiting room 10 minutes later with a similar disappointed look on her face. “You get kicked out for not being family, too?” She asks him. 

He nods, “I did. But it’s okay.” 

“Can I sit beside you?” She asks and actually starts to sit well before he can nod. “Do you know what your friends are having?” 

“Uh, no,” he lies. Keeping their privacy. “We just hope it’s healthy.” 

“Same… but Cassy— my co-worker, she’s having a girl,” she explains. “Sorry, uh, I’m Y/N,” she sticks her hand out to shake his and make his acquaintance. 

“Aaron,” he smiles back. “Was your friend due today?” 

She nods, “Yeah, actually she was. We didn’t expect her to go in today because this is her first, sometimes they take a little longer but then her contractions started getting really bad a few hours ago.” 

“This is my friend's second,” he shares. Finding it easy to open up to her. She’s nice, she doesn’t have a threatening bone in her body. And her smile is beautiful. “She actually went early both times.” 

“Wow, lucky,” she laughs. “I really hope if I have a baby one day that it’s easy and quick…” 

“You don’t have any kids?” 

She shakes her head. “No, I don't even have a boyfriend… sorry, you didn’t need to know that.” 

“It’s okay,” he smiles. “I uh, I have a son. He just turned 6, and he’s with his mom this Christmas.” 

“Do you guys go back and forth?” 

He nods, “It’s easier on him this way.” 

“I bet,” she nods along, staring off at the floor, awkwardly losing the conversation there. 

They’re silent for a few minutes and then he looks around to see where the vending machines are. “Are you hungry?” 

“A little… but I used my cash on the parking pass,” she shares, lips pressed together, she’s not going to ask for food and she looks like she doesn’t want him to offer either. 

“I’ll be right back, save my seat for me?” 

“Okay,” she gives him another smile and he feels like blushing. She’s so pretty… 

He gets a coffee from one machine and a bunch of snacks from the other, including a bottle of water and if she wants his coffee, he’ll just go back and get a second. He brings back his haul and places them on the little coffee table in front of their chairs, “Merry Christmas.” 

She laughs again, “You didn’t have to do this?” 

“We’re going to be here for a while, might as well eat up,” he shrugs, he really doesn’t mind. “Did you want coffee?” 

She shakes her head, “No, I’m okay but thank you.” 

“Take whatever you want,” he points to his collection of things. “There’s chips, candy, chocolate… they also had some egg salad sandwiches in there, if you prefer one of them?” 

“No, no, it’s okay,” she assures him. “Thank you, I’ll take some chips… but first, I’m going to see if a nurse has a remote for the TV, the news is so sad and boring lately.” 

“Oh, thank you. I get enough of this stuff at work,” he sighs with a shake of his head. 

She disappears then, over to the nurses station and comes back with a remote inside a plastic bag. “What do you want to watch?” 

“Anything is fine with me,” he assures. 

“Okay,” she starts to flip through the channels. “What do you do at work?” 

“I’m… I’m an FBI agent,” he tells her the truth. Feeling safe enough with her to be honest. 

“Oh wow,” she’s impressed. “So is that why you didn’t tell me about what your friend is having?” 

“What?” 

“I teach kids, I can tell when someone is lying to me,” she explains with a smile. “Your voice went up a bit, you looked away from me… you know what she’s having.” 

“I do. We’ve seen a few cases of people trying to hurt us specifically, I’m always weary to talk about my kid, her kids, any kids really because it shows people we have weak spots.” 

“I feel you… I have to watch 23 kids for 8 hours a day and keep them all safe while school shootings are on the rise,” she explains. 

“We don’t deal with a lot of those… but I see kidnappings often. At least 1 a month. It’s terrifying not being able to be with my son all day every day, but knowing there are teachers like you out there means a lot,” he gives her a smile. 

“I would do anything for my kids,” she nods, the most genuine smile on her face as she stares into his eyes. “And I’m glad there are people like you out there who would be able to get the guy who puts me in a position to do anything for them.” 

“And I get them all,” he assures her. 

“I’m sure you do,” she smirks. Liking how cocky he is. “Do you wear a uniform like cops do or?” 

“I typically wear a suit… and when I’m in the field a bulletproof vest— no suit jacket though.” 

“Ah,” she likes the sound of that, looking him up and down. “And does your son have a mother?” 

“He does… she’s with someone else, they’re all together at their new house right now,” he explains. “Scott is actually asking her to marry him tomorrow— well, today technically.” 

“How weird is that for you?” 

“Not really weird, I like him. He’s nice,” Aaron shrugs. “And he’s good with my son so I’m glad he has another father figure who’s home more than I am.” 

“Your son sounds very lucky,” she smiles. “You clearly love him so much.” 

“I really do,” he smiles right back. Something about her makes him so happy, the way she compliments him how she looks at him and how easy it is to just talk to her. “Are you doing anything tomorrow?” 

She shakes her head, “Nope… don’t know when I’ll be leaving here though and I do need some sleep.” 

“Yeah, same,” he forgot how long labour takes. “What about on New Year's?” 

“I’m free,” she assures, leaning more into his space. “Are you asking me out, agent?” 

“I am,” he nods, staring down at her lips and then back to her eyes. “You’re so nice and pretty… I’d like to get to know you more.” 

“I’d like to—

“Aaron,” a voice calls out. Emily’s voice. “We have another niece.” 

He’s quick to pull away and stand up, “already?” 

She nods, “JJ is good at what she does… who’s this?” 

“Oh, hi,” she stands up and puts her hand out to his friend. “I’m Y/N.” 

“Emily,” she smiles. “Nice to meet you…” 

“my friend is also having a baby tonight,” she awkwardly smiles. “But go, go meet this little girl. I’ll talk to you later?” 

“Yeah,” he nods, “I’ll come back out and see you before I leave?” 

“sounds good.” 

Emily walks him down the hall and stops at the door, “only 2 people are allowed in there at a time… I can go keep your friend company?” 

“Don’t… don’t be weird. I like her, she’s sweet,” he whispers. “I don’t get to meet nice, normal women often, let me have this.” 

“You can have her, I’ll go to Penelope’s,” she teases and he swats her arm. “Hey, okay, go in. I’ll wait out here.” 

—

Penelope is the next one to show up, Will and Aaron go out for some bad coffee, giving the girls some time to talk and Y/N’s nowhere to be seen out in the waiting room. Her friend must’ve had her baby… and he never had the chance to get her number. 

Visiting hours start again in a little while, meaning that they’ll all be allowed in her room soon and maybe, just maybe, he can have a peak into the other rooms to see her? 

Before he knows it, JJ goes for a nap, Penelope and Emily head out to get some food and Will sits beside his wife with his hand over hers. A nurse is coming in to take the baby for tests and monitoring and Will lets Aaron accompany her wherever she goes. She doesn’t have a name yet, she’s just baby girl LaMontagne and she’s the cutest. 

He waits outside the glass windows, watching all the nurses attend to all the babies wrapped up in their blue and pink blankets. He’s staring at them with so much awe and happiness, he doesn’t notice someone coming up beside him until she’s bumping shoulders with him. 

“hey there…” 

“Hi,” he beams a smile at her. “Did she have the baby?” 

She nods, “Yeah, she’s right there,” she points at the cot beside JJ’s daughter. 

“My friend's is to the right of her,” he coos. “Isn’t she beautiful?” 

“She is,” Y/N swoons. “God, now I want one even more.” 

“You’d be a good mom,” he whispers. “I can tell.” 

“Cause you’re a good dad or a good agent?” She teases. 

“A bit of both… Do you still want to go out sometime?” 

“I would,” she can’t believe it. She looks up at him in awe, “do you want my number?” 

“I would love your number,” he says as he pulls out his phone and hands it to her. “I don’t go back to work until the 3rd, intense cases permitting… so I was thinking maybe we could go to dinner? Maybe take a walk around and see the lights and fireworks at midnight?” 

“I’d really like that,” she swoons as she hands his phone back to him. “Even if we just ordered in and watched TV, I’d have fun with you.” 

“You know, out of all my times in waiting rooms, this has to be my favourite,” he teases. “I’m so glad I met you.” 

“Me too… and if it all works out, we have two little girls to thank for this,�� she points at the two babies side by side, peaceful as ever. 

“That we do.” 

General Taglist 

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch

[feministdragon]

every once in a while a discussion flares up on tumblr:  separatism vs activism reading through the various arguments I find myself agreeing with both sides in a lot of places.   the activism side argues that without it, we wouldn’t have the right to vote, bank accounts, property ownership, financial independence, sexual harassment and abortion laws, a lot of practical structures that free women in concrete ways.  i completely agree with this. the separatism side argues that women need a space away from men to experience themselves as human beings, to experience freedom and to experience female solidarity, and to develop networks of mutual aid.  I also completely agree with this. and then everyone starts fighting, which i really don’t understand.   We need both!  Both is good!   There are more than enough women in the world to do all the projects!  We can have some women creating separatist spaces for women to take shelter in, and we can have some women banding together to create practical change that free women in the short term.   What is there to argue about? I mean, maybe the background of this is the whole lesbian vs straight women thing?   Which tbh i also don’t understand why we have to fight about this.  I’m a lesbian, and the majority of my friends and feminist collaborators are straight women.  just by looking at the women around me I’m very very aware of how being partnered with a woman saves me an incredible amount of bullshit in my life, and yet I’m equally aware of why women choose to be het-partnered. for example in our organization there’s one women whose job title includes the word ‘responsible’.  Her husband began a campaign to undermine her participation by telling her that because her job title said ‘responsible’ that when our organization ‘inevitably bankrupted’ she would be left holding the legal debt which then (his main point) would impact him.  So she was scared by him into wanting to leave her position, when we really don’t have anyone else who can fill that right now, and so it would have caused a huge strain on us, but also, she’s perfect for this position, it’s very good for her, and she likes the work.  We were able to show her that he was just fucking with her, that the legal responsiblity for the money actually lay with a different role in the org, but it was yet another example of how men could reach into our private business and stir us about, because of how women are so financialy and emotionaly bound up with their legal male partners. so, do I cut off my friendship with this woman just because her husband is a danger to us?  Obviously not, because her husband is even more of a danger to her, and I’m trying to support her until her children are old enough that she can safely choose to leave him.   Is it irritating that her husband can just reach through her and fuck with us like that?  Absolutely.  Am I angry that women are constantly misled into marriage and find out too late that they are trapped?  Of fucking course.   Do I then conclude that all straight women are bullshit?   Also of course not.   But am I going to be cautious about who joins the group in future, and only let in lesbians?   Also of course not.  Because every set of hands is valuable and necessary, and we do other things to protect ourselves (like not let any man have a position of power in the org).  so what I want to ask is,  what is the separatism/activism divide about? why are people making it a choice between the two things?  is the foundational problem just either-or thinking?    if you are separatist why do you side-eye male-involved women?   if you are a male-involved woman, why do you side-eye separatists?

(crossposted on the Cloven Hooves forum if you want to comment on it there)

[le-trash-prince]

Dean & Kenta

So I am obsessed with the parallels between these two scenes in Episode 10, and I’d like to break it down a bit.

Here we have two characters who have failed their father figures due to their involvement with Charlie's accident. These conversations both begin with physical blows.

Both Kenta and Dean deny that they intended for Charlie to die.

Tony tells Kenta not to bother coming back if he messes up again (I interpret this as a veiled death threat—does Tony ever let people just walk away?). And Alan asks North to call the police on Dean. Both Kenta and Dean are each facing exile from their families.

There is, however, a contrast in the setting for these conversations. Tony and Kenta are at Tony's house, which we know is full of people. They are even out in the open, rather than in Tony's office. But they are completely isolated, as is the standard for this home. They are standing on a black walkway with a black doorway behind them.

Alan and Dean, on the other hand, are surrounded by the X-Hunter team, by people who are directly affected by what is happening. Even though it is just the two of them talking to each other, North is literally right there with them. They are standing in a beam of light with a bright window behind them.

I think there is a lot to be said about the connection these scenes draw between Tony and Alan, although I'm not equipped to comment on parenting styles (I welcome any input). But I don't think any other part of the series has drawn such a clear comparison between these two and the roles they are trying to fill. Their emotional reactions speak a lot to the difference in their character. While both are angry, Tony is filled with entitlement—his finances have been damaged by Charlie’s, while Alan is filled with grief—his family has been broken.

One thing I’d also like to highlight is Alan’s constant use of the word “family” towards his employees throughout the entire show (I know this can be problematic irl sometimes, but it’s quite apparent here that Alan really thought of them as his family), while that word seems to be entirely missing from Tony’s vocabulary, even though these people are legally his children. X-Hunter is Alan’s family, while the Chen Foundation orphans are Tony’s property.

Family is a recurring theme in Pit Babe (insert Fast & Furious reference here), and these scenes do a great job of showing contrasting perspectives on family. "Family is not everyone's safe zone." Family can hurt, family can heal, and family can fail you.

In the end, as seen below, Tony quite literally throws Kenta away from him, while Alan lets Dean slip from his embrace.

Kenta ends the scene framed almost completely by black, but his face is bathed in light, and he is standing upright, while Dean is the opposite; he is on his knees, bracketed by light, his face entirely in shadow.

I also find it interesting how much this dialogue of Dean's feels like it could have come directly from Kenta himself.

To me, Kenta and Dean are on very similar trajectories, but moving in opposite directions. They have both been background characters, observers in someone else's story, and they're both unhappy with where they are.

Dean was revealed in his scene to be a traitor to his people, and I think Kenta’s scene is showing us that he is in the same position—without coming out and saying it directly. In my opinion, it’s some very nice visual storytelling that’s doing a great job of building up what is coming for Kenta’s arc.

[hanasnx]

ooo what if pornstar!ani has a partner who’s not involved w porn at all? she’s more in the background, and she doesn’t even see ani’s films.

until one day, maybe while ani isn’t as active, she asks about making a homemade film together :(( and everyone can just tell how much more intimate (but still rough) everything is <3

- 🐻🐻

because of the way anakin operates, i think if he found a partner he might go through a phase of no longer doing porn, or considering a career change altogether.

i like what you said about how “maybe while ani isn’t as active” like imagine when he started dating you, you became his girlfriend, and suddenly he’s a lot free-er. the first time you and him had sex marks the time in which he stopped answering his phone with job offers. you didn’t fully realize he was soft-quitting it. and it’s not that he planned to, he just can’t imagine screwing anyone else right now because that’s just how anakin skywalker’s maddening devotion operates. not every sex worker is like this obviously, but right now he is and he’s never done that with anyone else.

and when you notice that hey.. you’ve been home with me a lot ani what’s going on.. or course he’d never tell you, save you from taking blame. and you’ve always wanted to make a homemade sex tape without an audience, what’s the difference if there is an audience? if he must, ani can just blur your face.

and the homemade with love porno of you and your lover is one of those fem gazy owen gray type where he gives you shaking orgasms and you lovingly call him every name in the book and he strokes your head and french kisses you as he’s fucking you :) so so sweet and still rough in an attentive way.

he can fuck you like the sluts he’s done before if you want, you just gotta ask him

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Stevepop social media au is actually such a cool idea, I crave to hear more of your thoughts on it

Hi anon! This is for you, @battleslippers and @raindrvq who all wanted more stevepop social media au. I will warn you, I got a little carried away.

Stevepop Social Media Au:

-The TikTok thing wasn’t supposed to be a success, Soda honestly just started it for fun but he gains a following pretty quick. Part of its his pretty face and part of it’s his demeanour- he is magnetic after all

-Most of his videos are either him doing stupid internet challenges and failing miserably or kind of just rambling into the camera like its some sort of video diary

-The first video that went sort of viral was just him trying and failing to twerk. The footage itself is kind of shaky because whoever is filming is laughing so hard.

-Despite how much he loves internet challenges he refuses to try any that involve a lot of waste. To him the idea of wasting a bunch of food or anything really is absurd

-The gang ends up in a lot of his videos, either just in glimpses when he’s walking around filming himself, or in the background when he’s trying challenges or whatever. Like, TikTok is fun for him but everyone else just kind of leaves him to it, so sometimes Ponyboy, Johnny, and Dal will be in the background playing poker or video games, or Darry will come home from work, or you’ll see Two-bit smoking a cigarette and his audience is so intrigued by them because it makes Soda seem so human.

-A lot of his content involves him pranking Darry simply because of how confused Darry gets before he figures out what’s going on

-In the background of almost every video you can hear someone laughing at him or sometimes heckling. It distracts Soda every time and his face visibly lights up when he turns away from the camera and argues back

-His comment section speculates so hard about who the voice is. Some people think its Two-bit or Dallas until someone else points out that they’re visible in the background of some videos and the voice is still present when they're not talking, and thus clearly not coming from either of them. The speculation gets to the point that his whole comment section is just people wondering about who the voice belongs to

-Soda eventually adresses it with one offhand sentence: “oh that’s just Stevie, he doesn’t like TikTok” 

-The comments section goes wild. Now they have a name to go with the offscreen voice, but they still don’t have a face. 

-It kind of gets to the point where his following is more invested in analysing every instance of hearing Steve and trying to catch a glimpse of him than they are in Soda’s actual content

-Of course, the close analysis leads to people noticing just how…flirty some of Steve and Soda’s banter is and the fanbase is suddenly split. Some people think Soda can’t possibly be gay and the others are highly convinced Soda and Steve are a couple and Soda’s just trying to keep their relationship on the down low

-Of course, the many many nicknames and the way Soda’s eyes light up whenever he looks off camera really don’t help speculation

-…There’s also the video where Ponyboy and Johnny came in when he was filming by himself and Ponyboy started rubbing his eyes and going “holy shit, is that…Soda without Steve? Are my eyes deceiving me?” “Shut up Pony, don’t joke about that, clearly he’s grieving the loss of his other half- since death is the only thing that could separate those codependent idiots for more than five minutes.” “SHUT UP you two I’m trying to film a video” “of what, you sucking ass at dancing?” “GO AWAY!”

-…and then there’s the video where Soda’s doing some sort of workout routine and ends up shirtless and Steve’s voice gets about an octave deeper even when he teases Soda seemingly like normal

-The comments section LOSES it at that one.

-Ponyboy and Johnny make their own TikTok account and they use it solely to make fun of Soda’s (and by extension Steve). Actual dialogue from one of their videos has Pony in a shitty blond wig going “internet people stop saying me and my buddy Steve are together. It’s super normal to make out with your guy best friend, we’re just guys being dudes”. Another has Johnny (wearing a name tag with Steve written on it) watching Ponyboy do jumping jacks and saying “if you’re not ogling your best friend while he works out, what are you doing? Pretending you’re not turned on? Get real”

-Ponyboy and Johnny’s channel is only live for a week before its mysteriously deleted. They’re also both sporting a few bruises when they’re spotted in the background of Soda’s latest video

-Unfortunately, Pony and Johnny’s account caused the speculation to get even worse. No matter what Soda posts, the comments section is just speculation about him and Steve.

-Surprisingly, it’s Steve who gets fed up one day when Soda is doing a TikTok live and getting visibly annoyed at all the comments and speculation. He steps into frame, kisses Soda soundly on the mouth and turns to the camera. “Hey. I’m Steve. I hate TikTok, I’m Soda’s best friend, and as of last week, his boyfriend. Now respectfully, shut the fuck up talking about me.”

-The comment section loses it’s shit but eventually goes back to simply commenting on Soda’s content once it becomes clear Steve isn’t going to make another appearance and Soda isn’t going to talk about it.

-The end :)

[olderthannetfic]

i was listening to the fanficmaverick podcast episode you did on fanfiction history, in which you mentioned (~55 min in) that you were one of the main people writing the terms of service for AO3 and bringing up the types of "would this be allowed" test cases, that these were not "oh it's a slightly problematic kink" but "violent snuff porn of gillian anderson, not scully, but gillian anderson" — and that you all eventually landed on "kinda gross, but legal in the US, and therefore would host." question: was this the most contentious case? any other memorable/notable test cases, or other interesting discussions you can remember?

i'd also love to hear more about how the major archive warnings were decided on — on what basis were these chosen? which others were considered? — if you happen to know!

sincerest thank you for all the work you've done for fandom and the preservation of fandom history. ❤️ seriously, such a feat, and so interesting!

--

I think even then my personal level of wallowing in annoying wank or looking at horrifying fic was vastly higher than everyone else's, so this was pretty much the example we looked at.

Though, if you want to laugh, astolat's original post is still up on LJ with the comments, and there were totally people going "I'd be interested in this new archive project, but not if it includes RPF!" or "Not if it includes any underage fic at all!" etc.

--

On usenet in the 90s, there was somebody or somebodies who were reaaaaally into that specific type of snuff story. I remember noticing how many of them involved not only hangings but very specific imagery of one high heel falling off. I was 13, so I really couldn't tell you if it was one dude with a specific fetish or genuinely super widespread. But it made an impression.

The alt.sex.stories hierarchy was a wild time.

Anyway, in practice, badwrong RPF of female celebs that sounds like it's aimed at straight dudes ends up on fetish sites for whatever the fetish is, not on fic archives for the most part, but I thought it was a useful example because it was so far into actually offensive to AO3y types. We're not talking the weaksauce shit people are always asking me about on here like "Oooh, what if someone posted [bog standard slash trope] to AO3?" as though it's a gotcha.

--

Man... were there other test cases? I'm trying to remember. This was all in like 2008, and of course, I didn't keep internal documents when I left OTW. Not that half of this was stuff I'd have had documented on my computer anyway.

My memory is that the general shape of the content policy had been decided by the founding Board before Content Policy started up. I don't think we were actually making the ruling on RPF ourselves.

I'm pretty sure most of what we were up to was looking at wank and trying to determine how to head off shitty behavior with the ToS. Trying to define harassment is a mega pain in the ass, let me tell you.

One major internal wank there was was deciding whether to allow Original Work. I was the one who'd been in anime fandom, and I was very used to archives that have an original section, often for the "original slash" and "original yaoi" that had nowhere else to go at the time. (These days, you'd just become a "m/m romance" author, as I in fact have.) Fanfiction.net had spun off its original years ago at that point, but a lot of the non-English archives and a lot of the archives in other parts of English-speaking fandom found fannish-but-original to be a normal thing.

I am a grudgy bitch, and I am still not over how much pushback I got on this.

AO3 went live with a ban on original work, but the policy never ended up being heavily enforced. We waited to see what would happen with posting, and it was predictably that people from those backgrounds outside of US Media Fandom posted some original without even thinking it might be banned, but they didn't post so much it overwhelmed the archive.

The big fears had been that #1 people would flood AO3 and drown out the fic. This was predicated on the idiotic notion that original = inherently not fannish, so there's no dividing line. In reality, the people who were used to posting original to fic archives had an internal sense of what belongs and what doesn't. Fear #2 was that people would try to post chapter 1 of a commercial story and then go "See here to buy the rest". Little did we know that this would soon be a problem with fucking fan fiction itself. (Also, commercial spam was always against the rules and needed no extra anti-original work rule.)

People didn't just disagree with me: they looked at me blankly.

Pretty sure I vented about this on that podcast too though. Anyway, most of the shit people find contentious now was already decided before we started writing the ToS, I think... though I don't really remember clearly. We were more looking to plug up holes in the rules that nitpicking trolls could use to harass.

The kinds of things we were deciding were often like the policy that AO3 doesn't necessarily tell you if someone reported you. If they need info, they'll contact you, and if they decide you broke the ToS, you'll hear about it, but obviously bogus reports don't get passed on. This is to remove the temptation to use the team as a proxy to harass a target. An official e-mail, even if it's "You're fine, actually", can be disturbing.

--

Re the warnings themselves, I know I'd done a survey of what archives were out there at the time and had come up with a list of a few dozen. This was early on in OTW's development process, not just for Content Policy. You can still find the list somewhere on that LJ group. Anyway, for the ToS writing, we looked at the commonplace warnings from archives past, which were basically character death, character death, and also character death.

It always cracks me up when people are like "Um, rape makes sense, but how dare they downplay these other bad things with a character death warning?" Old fandom places were full of unwarned for rape, but woe betide the person who posted surprise character death of a main ship!

We needed an under-18 warning because we had a lot of Australian fans who were like "Dude, my government is a bitch, and I cannot use this archive at all if I can't filter that out". Past archives had mostly just banned it entirely or been full of death eaters raping teenage Harry Potter characters with nary an underage warning in sight.

I don't remember why we picked the violence one. It really wasn't common, but maybe we wanted to make a philosophical point that sex doesn't have more cooties than violence.

CNTW was a compromise with older fandom standards where people objected to literally any warnings existing. A lot of the really oldschool warnings debates aren't about which ones you should have but about whether you should have them at all.

I think people around here miss how non-universal warnings are and how many other communities and spaces even today don't think you need all that.

I don't recall if we seriously considered any specific others. I don't think we had a big list, then ruled them out. It's more like we accreted a few must-haves as we went along. We probably looked at the metadata for the eFiction archives that actually had ticky boxes for search (as opposed to the very low-metadata norm on many archives). But a lot of those filters would have been fandom-specific or redundant or hella vague.

One thing to keep in mind is that this was an Era of Archives, so there were fucktons of examples to look at, though only a few flavors of example since a bunch used eFiction or otherwise copied each other's design. It was possible to make some judgements about past norms on archives, not just go "Are we copying FFN or not?" A lot of fans now see fic hosting as the big three or see AO3 as the only option, but we were used to having many archives with many designs.

I know we wanted a short and manageable list of warnings, and we wanted unambiguous things that could be effectively enforced. If I'm populating my hard-coded 90s website with other people's fics, I can go through each for dubcon before I post it (not that you'd ever have warned for dubcon in the 90s). On a big fic archive, making judgement calls on vague ass categories like dubcon is a nightmare.

We did do some focus groups where other interested fans came in and critiqued our work. I can't recall how much was about our ToS wording and how much was about the actual policies. But we did workshop this shit extensively with people who were around at the time. I think many of the whiners now assume it wasn't enough of a community effort (since we didn't decide things they like). But actually, a bunch of people weighed in. Maybe elf remembers what we actually asked them. I think she was in a focus group.

[hedgehog-moss]

Here’s Baby Poldine’s second school report!

First semester of llama school consisted in just walking into the chute and spending a few minutes in there every day until she was no longer stressed about being stuck in this strange narrow place. (It was a two-week semester) (she’s a quick study)

Llama 102 involved wearing a halter while in the chute, and being given little bits of banana peel to distract her from how horrible and embarrassing wearing a halter (apparently) is. She kept rubbing her face against stuff trying to remove the stupid thing, but eventually she got used to it, and when she started hanging out in the chute with a halter on looking like a bored teenager I knew it was time to move on to Lesson 3.

(Not sure where Pampe’s neck is going in the background. I don’t want to know)

Lesson 3 is walking into the chute, being haltered, walking out and following a human around the (closed) pen with the halter & lead rope. Which means being subjected to having your head pulled this way and that which is every bit as unpleasant as wearing a halter initially was. Pampoldine received kisses and clementine peelings every time she came to me or walked a few steps alongside me or generally did the opposite of digging in her heels and pulling on the rope.

Also, Poldine thinks cats smell nice and she always wants to sniff the top of their head when she sees one, so special thanks to Merricat for accepting to be used as live llama bait to get Poldine to start walking into the chute of her own free will :)

(Merricat prefers the term ‘teaching assistant’)

I tried uploading a 30 second video but either tumblr or my wifi wouldn’t let me :( The gist of it was, the lesson was going well but Pampe was being a bit of a nuisance, distracting her daughter, and then Pampelune spat at her. Here are some screencaps:

Pampe had frowny ears, maybe she was being protective of her baby, to be fair. Like, what are you doing to her, remove this halter immediately. But at some point Pampelune chased her all over the pen spitting at her and Pampe looked mortified about being told off by her mum, it was so funny. The dispute probably had to do with hay, but it’s so rare for mild-mannered Mama Pampy to spit, it really looked like she was annoyed with Pampe for disrupting her granddaughter’s lesson! (I managed to dodge the spit.)

Lesson 4 was all the same stuff, but with a wide open pen, so Poldine could technically tear the rope from my hands and run away to the other end of her pasture. Which was something Pampérigouste did systematically when she was a child in llama school. She came to tolerate wearing a halter and walking around with me in the closed pen, but as soon as I opened the door and she saw an opportunity to escape, she’d make some kind of brusque movement to tear the rope from my hands, and bolt.

Pampe’s daughter on the other hand is a pleasure to have in class and it never occurred to her to do such a thing, so we’re now able to do the same exercises again but in a less coerced way—instead of trapping her in the chute to halter her, I now just put some hay in the pen to attract the llamas (when Merricat is busy), then walk in without closing the door and present Poldine with her halter and some kind of treat, and she’ll put her nose through the noseband to reach the treat, basically putting the halter on herself. I could never reach this stage with Pampe—I still have to resort to wily ruses to approach her without her noticing the halter; meanwhile I can be honest about my intentions with Poldine, I’m like here’s your halter and here’s your treat. You know what’s going to happen if you choose to go for the treat, and she’s like okay, fair :)

Someone doesn’t think life is fair, though.

I have to hold Pirlouit back every time I put some hay in the pen to get Poldine in there, or he’ll go and not only eat it but also shoo everyone else out of the pen to hoard the hay. Sorry Pirou, this hay is bait and you are not the fish I’m trying to catch.

Lesson 5 will start next week and consist in haltering Poldine wherever she happens to be—I think she’s now reasonably convinced that wearing a halter is not the most horrible thing in the world (no matter what her mum says) so she won’t run if I try to halter her outside of the pen. We’ll walk around a bit every day but will keep it quick and not-annoying (and highly rewarding) (with fruit) so she continues to familiarise herself with being led by a human. Maybe she will take her education further than her mother ever did by actually reaching lesson 6 (hearing sounds that mean ‘stop’ or ‘let’s go!’ and not completely ignoring me.) We’ll see!

[see-arcane]

I figured I should interrupt everyone's dash for some notes on current real life things.

This is a hefty one, so I'm tucking everything below:

A little good news. As of this writing, I’ve sold 74 copies of The Vampyres, in eBook and paperback! That’s 74 more than I thought I would ever sell! Thank you to everyone who picked up a copy or asked your library to grab some. Especially when I know I haven’t been the most stellar self-marketer. I can’t remember the last time I opened the septic tank formerly known as Twitter, so it’s all been down to this little corner here and a skinny appearance in Goodreads. Which means I owe any attention this short and sinister tale has received to you all and plain old word-of-mouth.

That said, thank you x100000 to you and any new readers yet to take a look. (And doubly so for those of you who go out of their way to leave comments and reviews around for me to reread ad infinitum.)

For those not in the know, all the info on The Vampyres can be found here, and all my author odds and ends can be found on my website here.

On a less heartening note…

As I’d already expected, the market for career writers is…rough. Copywriting—and writing in general—is technically a big open field (full of caveat descriptions about having to work with/teach AI programs to eventually swallow your job)! Tons of open positions! Most of which either pay you in pocket change while you’re working full time or expect you to singlehandedly run the entire marketing of a business for slightly more pocket change. Everything else is bloated with contract and/or freelance work*.

*Read: Gig economy schlock trying to pass for an actual job position with payment being a coin toss. I’ve also seen one too many listings on the job boards that are volunteer positions. Plenty of exposure to rake in though, right? Ha. Ha ha.

I’ve still been applying like clockwork, same as the rest of my fellow creators trying to get by in a field that seems to actively punish trying to be a professional in said field, and still no bites further than an interview. I have years of experience and a degree, but everyone’s chasing the same crumbs, so. Yeah. I’ve got to start padding things out.

Reminder that I do have a (barely peddled) Ko-Fi. It’s there for art commissions and chucking a few spare bucks at. Which is an increasingly big ask these days, I know. You can’t scroll two posts down without hitting someone else’s Ko-Fi, Patreon, GoFundMe, Kickstarter, et cetera. We’re drowning in arting starvists here. And although I have been asked before whether I would consider going full Freelance Storywriter on top of selling art, I’m still a little hesitant on it. I do occasionally send out story submissions and have even gotten published a few times, but I get nauseous thinking about:

1) Putting up a paywall on the scribbles that assail me like a baseball bat wielded by an unmerciful Muse. 2) Putting up a ‘Stories for Sale!’ sign only to wind up disappointing prospective buyers because I didn’t do their blorbos justice even after researching X background for the piece. 3) Getting duped into being a nonconsenting ghostwriter and discovering someone else has published my work under their own name.

So, still a bit iffy on that. I’ll chew on it. But what else is left?

Before you click the button!

Stop!

NOT YET!

Before you click, please know that I am being serious about this as something to potentially make 1) something of good quality and 2) earn more money than it loses. Looking around at the merch-making/selling options, there are fees involved with making an account just about anywhere in the online store game, give or take the price tweaking needed for shipping and manufacturing blah blah blah.

With that in mind, please do not automatically hit ‘yes’ because you want to be nice. I appreciate it, but this isn’t the same thing as the Ko-Fi where there’s no real loss in just leaving it up and drawing something once every few months. This will take new designs, another subscription to pay for, more logistics to untangle for quality and pricing and all the rest of the mess. Only hit ‘yes’ if you, personally, genuinely, would like to purchase some nefarious See Arcane wares beyond a book or a digital drawing.