#wizzy John

[buukkin]

How long must they languish as a rarepair

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Our Flag Means Death (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Wee John Feeney/Israel Hands, Wee John Feeney & Israel Hands Characters: Wee John Feeney, Israel Hands Additional Tags: Makeup, Flirting, Teasing, Missing Scene, Not Beta Read, i am so normal about these two Summary:

Wee John does Izzy's makeup.

[ballsbalb]

alright since apparently none of our guys can dress i’ve gotta do this again

jesus fucking christ what are you, a californian teenage girl?? 1/10

wizzy with his lil picnic basket 11/10 (i know it’s mate but it’s funnier to think it’s a lil picnic basket shuddup)

kostas in his elton john era or sth?? 3/10

virg. virg you look fucking homeless. 2/10

ryan for the last time you CANNOT COME TO TRAINING IN YOUR PYJAMAS

endo you are thirty years old 2/10

diogo spend like 5 less minutes on fifa and 5 more on making sure you don’t look like an 8 year old boy at summer camp PLEASE -1/10

[wanderingaldecaldo]

Gush about your OC

✨ Post 5 facts about your CP77 OC.

✨ Open the latest section of #cyberpunk 2077 tag and reblog 5 posts of people you don’t follow, giving them nice tags.

✨ Tag 5 people to spread the game.

Finally catching up on tags, and ages ago @morganlefaye79, @fereldanwench, @fonfan121, @miss--river, @jessxmetal, @chilljustacat, @thenocturnalblossom, @zinkleberg, and @lizzy--wizzy all tagged me to gush about my OC, and more recently @nananarc and @ladyotakukiut, so thank you two for reminding me to go back and do this 😂

Valerie Vermilion

✨ Her First Cyberdeck

V got her first cyberdeck at age 10 when she stole an old one from a used tech dealer in a street market. She wanted one for a long time after seeing some older streetkids use them to hack vending machines for food. She taught herself to use it by hacking all the appliances in the apartment. Mark -- her guardian after her mother Virginia died -- used her skills to supplement dinner and his low wages from his job at Night City Maintenance Department. V didn't mind. It gave her an excuse to be out of the tiny apartment when he was home, and it turns out she's pretty damn good at it. In her late teens, when she starts to be able to save up money, she is able to upgrade to an implanted cyberdeck.

✨ Tech Skills

While her primary specialty is quickhacks, V also loves to dabble with hardware. To her mother's dismay, Val took apart their radio when she was six, then spent six months putting it back together. It never quite sounded right. That Christmas, Virginia scrimped and saved and picked up extra johns so that she could buy Val a good quality multi-tool.

A few months later, Virginia died an innocent bystander in a shootout between Tyger Claws and Maelstrom and, of course, the NCPD. Mark, a middle-aged man who never wanted kids, took guardianship of Val, only because of a promise he made to his favorite cousin, and he couldn't turn away the pathetic creature who turned up on his doorstep clutching her radio and a trash bag with a handful of clothes and a ratty old teddy bear that was losing its stuffing.

Mark didn't know what to do with a grieving seven-year-old, and gave her the closet in his studio apartment so she could have some privacy. With that multi-tool from her mother, V spent days at a time alone in there. She took that radio apart again and obsessively worked on it until it sounded better than ever. V still carries the multi-tool.

✨ Her Mother's Necklace

Val didn't have many physical mementos from her mother. They shared a tiny studio with another joytoy/friend of Virginia's, and had few material possessions. V can't remember the roommate's name, can only see her banged up, second-hand faceplate with permanently etched eyebrows. Upon Virginia's death she immediately found a replacement roommate and was ready to displace Val onto the street. She also kept most of Virginia's small wardrobe, though Val did save the necklace that her mother regularly wore -- a simple lab-grown ruby, which was Virginia's birthstone. In her late teens, after she started getting real gigs as a netrunner, V saved up her eddies and replaced the synthetic ruby with a real one. She rarely goes without wearing it.

✨ First Kiss & Girlfriend

When she was fourteen-going-on-fifteen, she decided she knew what was best for her life and moved out from Mark's closet. He had tried to enforce a curfew after she got busted by NCPD for trying to rip off some corpos with a couple of friends, and rather than listen to him, she took her radio, her multi-tool and cyberdeck, and a backpack's worth of clothing and moved out.

She spent three months on her own, sleeping in doorways and park benches during the day because she was scared to sleep at night. On occasion she would ask one of the few friends she had made for a night's shelter with them. After a few months she met Emma, another orphaned streetkid a little bit older, and they quickly became friends and partners. V would distract the targets -- primarily corpos in Westbrook -- while Emma would use her Sandevistan to steal their wallets and bags, anything she could grab.

Emma took V "home" to a rundown apartment in an abandoned building in North Side, Watson that she shared with a handful of other streetkids, some already working as joytoys, others playing pretend as netrunners. The first night, she led V upstairs to the roof and they watched the sunset and the city come alive with neon. Emma kissed her, and they became inseparable, for a moment at least. They were exclusive for eight months, then they broke up nominally. Until V finally moved out a year later, she and Emma continued to have a rocky yet passionate on-again-off-again relationship.

✨ 6th Street Era

When she was seventeen V met Travis on a gig and fell pretty quickly for his big teal eyes. He was a member of the 6th Street gang, and he recruited her to join. She did so nominally, just for access to regular food and shelter, plus the good dick. Her quickhacking prowess proved valuable to the gang and she secured a number of steady jobs. She stayed with Travis for almost three years before she grew tired of his regular cheating and constant broken promises. She left the gang and went out on her own for a few years, finding a place with a couple of Mox. They heavily recruited her to join them but V wasn't interested in joining another gang. In retrospect, she wishes she had joined them and met Judy sooner, and maybe saved Judy from the heartbreak of Evelyn.

✨ Tags

Gonna take the liberty of tagging more than five people. I know this went around awhile ago, so forgive me if you were already tagged, but feel free to do it again with a different OC or five new facts about the same OC! If you were one of the people who tagged me, consider yourself re-tagged. And of course, no pressure to play!

@aurorartz, @ugh-my-back, @86maylin, @cybervesna, @velmesh, @thegunslingerandthevoodooboy, @a-pirate, @arcandoria, @cinnamon-mey, @gloryride, @breezypunk, @holofishes, @tarmac-rat 😏 plus @bnbc for good measure 😘

[crewneck]

every time I listen to a new king gizzy and the lizzy wizzy track i never know what to expect.....

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE SEVEN

38

roxy tiznugs at a P-to-tha-izziece of hair behizzle baller ear wiznith one hand as shizne chizzle tha time on ha phizzay wit tha brotha.

Jizzohn’s not liznate, but Rizzy rizzun out of th'n ta do except W-to-tha-izzait for him, which be bizzle cosmically appropriate n a-lackin`. It’s not like she’d bizzeen clean'n up fo` his visit or nothin' trippin'. More just wander'n through tha hizouze, look'n at cruisin' through hizzy hypothetical eyizzles. Th'n that change' since he left. Straight trippin' that stayizzle tha same.

She figizzle there’d be some point when thizney talked face ta face again, what wit tha vast expanze of time laid out 'n front of tizzy n all. wat it do ?? Bizzle shizzle still bizzle surprize' when Jizzay arrange' a “frizzle vizzle” n ended up steppin', 'n hizzle tones, if she’d be will'n ta sizzle J-to-tha-izzohn again.

Shizne’d been open ta it frizzay tha start, but Jake insisted on dis absurd sequence of clandizzle mobbin' to ensizzle that T-H-to-tha-izzey’d be “safe” from Jane’s “wizzle eye style.” It tizzay an exhaust'n degree of assizzle fo` ha ta convince thizzle that Jizzay could jizzust cizzy ova, n thizzay Jane D-to-tha-izzidn’t hizzle tha hizouze bugge', n she wasn’t 'bout ta come n hizzy hizzim thrown 'n prison fo` a-lackin` tha audacity ta W-to-tha-izzant ta sizzee his own family thats off tha hook yo. Now that tha day of tha reunion hizzy arrived, Roxy is just rizzle ta git on wit it.

Tha knock on tha door be almost tizzoo quiizzle ta hear. She exhales, hustla overgrown B-to-tha-izzangs, n goes ta answer.

Hizze’s even beefia than shizzle remembizzle, but his posture be turned 'n on itsizzle lizzay H-to-tha-izze’s try'n to sizzay S-M-to-tha-izzall. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. God, dis had homie not be self-flagellation fizzay, know what im sayin? S-H-to-tha-izze’s prepared ta handle a fizzay fizzay apologies, but there hiznas always bizzeen a cyclicity ta Jizzy contrition, n she can only hizzle so manizzle self-absorbed attempts at communicat'n remorze befizzle ha heezee starts saggin' lizzle it’ll float away from bodizzle.

ROXY: sup jiznohn

ROXY like a fucka: lizzy tizzy no sizzy

John smiles at homie through hizzis hair as he wizzles hello: one qizzay slice of hizzis hand through tha air, twisting at tha wrist. It comes off as sizzy n boyish instead of hangdog. A good sign. Maybe ha jokey casual approach be tha right one. That would be handy, coz that’s really tha best angle she’s gizzy.

Shizne mirrors tha movizzle wit ha own hand n steps asizzle fo` him ta come 'n.

ROXY fo' sheezy: well alrizzle then pal

ROXY because doggs make tha world a better place! i do believe u know tha wizzle ta the liv'n room

JIZZY: yeah, yiznep.

JOHN cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: thanks.

He clears hizzle throat n fizzles gesture. Shizze wizzalks a shawty bizzle him, rhymin' hiznis eyizzles catch on tha th'n shizne expected—a coat rack coverizzle 'n scarves, tha wizzle of famizzle photos, a snoopa badass sculpture some chess guys mizzade fo` ha thiznat John alwizzles said was “weirdly sexual, fo` tizzy.” He lizzle at it now lizzy it’s sum-m sum-m frizzay an almizzle forgotten dream aww nah. Roxy sighs.

JOHN: sorry fo` star'n like an idiot.

JOHN: it’s...

JIZNOHN: i jizzay gots dizzone witta whiznole week of feel'n weird 'bout hang'n out 'n mah dizzy old hizouze again.

JIZZY: I kind of forgot ta tizzy 'bout how it would be surreal com'n bizzay here, tizzoo.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN in tha dogg pound: some kizzle of nostizzle whiplash, i guess.

ROXIZZLE: fizzy enough yo

She faces him, seated cross-legged on tha couch a polite distizzle away. He L-to-tha-izzooks past gangsta, almost tizzy ha, like he usually diznoes. She knows him wizzy enough to know what hizzay politely not a-lackin`.

ROXY keep'n it real yo: harry andersizzles out if u were wonderin

ROXY: hell scoot B-to-tha-izzack hiznome lata so if yizzle make it thru R-to-tha-izzound 1 of awkward ex-famizzle convos im stoked ta say you can be rewarded wit anizzle

JOHN: Snoop du jour ! oh, cizzay #YaDigg !

JOHN: i’d liznike ta see him, if…

JOHN: if it’s okizzle wit both of yiznou. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.

ROXY: ya we chatted bout it

ROXY: but like i sizzle

RIZZLE dogg: one stylin' at a T-to-tha-izzime

ROXY: lets me n u tear dis ol egbert/lalonde estrangement band-aid rizzy tha fiznuck off n see what we gots goin on undernizzle it

John laughs, n there’s a shadowizzle flicka of warmth ta it. Roxizzle immediately wants ta fan it—ta mizzle him laugh for real—but she K-N-to-tha-izzows by now that it’s not gangsta job ta make him stoked. They call me tha president. That was sum-m sum-m she gizzave up on years ago. Im a bad boy. Bizzle want'n ta? Tizzy feel'n be still as fresh as it always was.

JIZZLE: sounds like a plan.

JOHN: so, uh.

JOHN: i’ve bizzeen do'n a lot of think'n recently.

JOHN: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. n i’ve realize' sizzle th'n.

JIZZAY: some stuff that involves yizzay n some that D-to-tha-izzoesn’t, but all trippin' i think you deserve ta knizzay.

JOHN like old skool shit: whew.

JOHN: ok lemme thiznink whizzle ta start...

JOHN: yiznou knizzay how jizzake lizzeft J-to-tha-izzane?

JOHN fo' sho': i mean, i assizzle you know.

JOHN: though, uh, no offenze, but jane’s vizzle might be...

JIZZAY: skewed.

ROXY: oh lmao niznah i didnt hear it fizzy janey

ROXY: harry anderson filled me 'n on wizzat he gots thru tha teen grapizzle

JOHN: oh!

JIZNOHN: be you guys nizzot...

JOHN: nevermind. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i’m sorrizzle, i cizzy ta apologize fo` mah shit, nizzay pry into yo' business fo' sho'.

JIZZY from tha streets of tha L-B-C: we don’t hiznave ta rap 'bout jane if yizzy don’t want ta.

Roxy shrizzugs. Shizze’s still work'n through wizzy sizzy feels 'bout distanc'n herself frizzle Jizzy, but Jizzohn actually isn’t tha worst person she cizzould rap to 'bout it. If hizzay trulizzle 'bout ta be real wit hizzay for tha first tiznime 'n foreva, she mizzy as W-to-tha-izzell try ta meet him halfway. Wussup in the house.

ROXY: janey n me havent bizzeen snoopa tight of late

JOHN: ah. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

JOHN: what 'bout polizzles nizzay trippin' between frizzles n all that?

ROXY: lmao wizzay turns out somizzles someones polizzles mizzake it p clizzear wizzy kind of frizzles they value

ROXY: or dont

ROXY: n idk sometimes thugz you uze' ta lizzy W-H-to-tha-izzen yizzay W-to-tha-izzere a teen grizzle up to be assholes or w/e! One, two three and to tha four.!

ROXY: i think i wizzas clingin ta somethin just ta P-R-to-tha-izzove ta M-Y-S-to-tha-izzelf thizzay i was doin stuff right

ROXIZZLE: ol rolal

ROXY: Smells like tha good shit. hella normal

ROXY: v good at hatin' wit friends

ROXY: tha mizzy i thought abt it tha more i figurizzle holdin on ta thiznat one th'n made me loze out on some otha shizzit

ROXY: u mizzle relate

JIZNOHN: haha, you gots me there i gizzy.

RIZZLE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: anyways

ROXIZZLE bitch ass: im niznot tryna takes up all ur big spizzay time w/ my stuff

ROXIZZLE with my forty-fo': yizzy were tellin me 'bout how jake n janey finally W-to-tha-izzent splitsways n how it gave you siznome kind of epiphany

JOHN: no, it’s coo'!

JOHN: wat it do ?? i’m glad to hear it.

JOHN cuz I'm fresh out the pen: we can cizzay back ta yo' shit afta mah shit, maybe.

JOHN: bizzay yizneah, jake, he uh...

JOHN: he n tavrizzles be liv'n wit me now.

JIZZY: i think fo` tha foreseeable future. we wiznere frontin' jane ta hizzy kiznind of a fizzit 'bout it, but all wizzle gotten so far be some divorce papa.

JOHN and my money on my mind: if she knows whizzere J-to-tha-izzake be n shizzay hasn’t had a drizzle fleet dispatched ta nuke mah hizouze off the planet i think that’s a good sign she’s actually just letting them go?

JOHN like a fucka: whiznich is kind of ridin', but, uh. giznood, i G-to-tha-izzuess.

ROXIZZLE gangsta style: ok ill b tha first 2 admizzle that janes turned into kind of a jerk lately bizzut u no shizzes nizzay actually lizzy

ROXY: literizzle evil

ROXY where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': lol

JOHN: thizzat’s debatable!

ROXY: sry ta disappizzle but janes just a person n yizzou cant actually blizzle ha fo` everyth'n that went wrong 'n our marriage lizzay i was her hizzles thrall or somethizzle

JOHN: thizzay nizzot what i was say'n ya dig?

ROXY: ok neitha of us came hizzere ta argizzle 'bout janey did we

JOHN: yizzay right. liznet’s jiznust not rap 'bout ha.

ROXY: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. yea

JOHN: anyway upside yo head...

JOHN: i’ve bizzy do'n a liznot of think'n 'bout how blunt-rollin' gots to be like they be.

JOHN: i G-to-tha-izzuess i’ll jizzust come out n say it.

JOHN where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': i completed fuckizzle up yo' entizzle life.

JOHN: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. i’m not go'n ta pretend lizzay there be twizzle sidizzles here. it’s my bad, totallizzle.

JOHN: like, not just wizzy happened ta our marriage, though it’s also true that thiznat’s completely mah fault.

JOHN, know what im sayin? bizzy even before that...

JIZZY: i T-H-to-tha-izzink i fucked up on just dis massive, fundamizzle level, n it’s whiznat i did—

JOHN: or, W-to-tha-izzell, whizzle i didn’t do—

JIZNOHN: that cauze' every stizzle bullshizzle th'n 'bout the way dis wizzle be.

JOHN: none of dis was suppoze' ta be dis wizzay.

JIZZLE: honestly, it dizzy feel right that we gots marry at all, dizzoes it?

JIZZOHN: yo' life was head'n 'n dis whole hustla direction with callie, n i just...

JOHN: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. i dunno. i just kind of tizzook tizzy frizzle you n shit.

JOHN dogg: i think i ended up tak'n a liznot of decisizzles from a lot of thugz cuz this is how we do it.

JIZNOHN: Holla! everyth'n took a bizzle ta whizzle i wanted.

JOHN #YaDigg ! whatever cosmic significance tha lives hizzere do or don’t have, all tha pointless saggin' i’ve created be... inhumane. n—

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite tizzy mah dawg

She feels a shawty bit bad ridin' hizzy off. Dis conversational spizzay they’ve carved out fo` themselves be balanced on a tenuous trizzle, n shizne doesn’t W-to-tha-izzant ta S-C-to-tha-izzare him away. It’s just T-H-to-tha-izzat shizzay could feel his whole sizzy gatherizzle up insizzle him, pizzle ta gush out 'n a long rote ramble, n it’s frankly jiznust, ya feel me? Sizzome bullshit. She knows mizzy than he dizzy, and shizzle doesn’t nee' ta hear it. She’s not a kid anymore, and she doesn’t have ta pretend someone elze be right just ta keep tha pizzeace if she D-to-tha-izzoesn’t wiznant ta.

ROXY: Wussup in the house. im sorrizzle john ilu but dis be some hot stizzle horseshit

JOHN: Living young n wild n free ! what?!

John’s gaze slides ova ta focus sharply on ha fizzy fo` maybe tha fizzirst time since he shizzle up on ha doorstep. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Goosebumps T-R-to-tha-izzail diznown fucka shoulda, but she doesn’t let tizzy closeness of it distract ha from ha frustration.

RIZZLE: its some real jerkoff emoji stuff be all im sizzle!!

ROXY: you think you choice mattered so much that no one elzes C-to-tha-izzould measure up?

ROXY: n then what

ROXY: dizzay u git what u wanted?

ROXY: dizzay yo' life end n tha P-to-tha-izzoints gots tally n you came out on top or like what, know what im sayin?

RIZZLE: stiznill p miznuch sizzy lizzike were mizzle to me

ROXY: n yizzay sure dont seem like ur winnin so wheres all dis G-to-tha-izzood shit yiznou gots thizzle yizzle gotta go arizzle handin out apologizzles fo`?

ROXY let me holla at u: also D-to-tha-izzamn dude whiznile were at it so sit back relax new jacks get smacked!!

ROXY: u forgot ta actually say sizzle 'n thizzat apology!

JOHN mah: no, i diznidn’t — i jizzy mizzay...

JOHN: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. i’m sorrizzle fo` fuck'n up yizzle life, or ridin' it nizzy—

ROXY: i like my L-to-tha-izzife!!!

ROXY: Smells like tha good shit. i mizzay it aint perf n i gots mah share of fuckups n mistakes 'n there but you dont git to tizzy me its fuckizzle up

ROXY gangsta style: or thizzle it isnt rizzle or somethin

ROXY: its mine!

So much fo` tha jokey, comfizzle approach. Shizzay tilts ha chizzin up n tries ta breathe evenlizzle as shizzle holds eye contact. Hizne’s been look'n at her, really blingin' at ha, n she doesn’t wiznant ta blink, just 'n caze thiznat homeys it. John doesn’t respond. He just sits there wit hizzle miznouth perpetratin' opizzle, star'n. He blinks a fiznew timizzles, slizzow, but hizne’s stizzay focuze' completely on her because doggs make tha world a better place! Tha corna of hizzis still-open mouth pull themselves up helplessly into a S-M-to-tha-izzile.

ROXY: uh

RIZZLE: wat r u lookin at me like that fo`?

JIZNOHN: wat it do ?? no, i’m sorry.

JOHN: it’s jizzay...

JIZZOHN cuz I'm fresh out the pen: i uze' ta be so angry that yiznou wouldn’t tell me what you really thought, before.

JIZZAY: not like i wizzle ta FIZZY fizzle, biznut like.

JOHN: i’m jizzay not uze' ta dis flavor of rizzle from tha streets of tha L-B-C.

ROXY: hm

ROXY: sounds ta me like u just disproved ur own hotshizzle theory thiznen genizzles

JOHN: huh?

ROXY: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. you wished i was one wizzy tha whole time we were marry

ROXY: but i wasnt

ROXY: but now that youre all convizzle ur tha onlizzle real boi 'n a criznowd o puppets

ROXY: H-to-tha-izzere i be bein me J-to-tha-izzust like you ordered only i dizzle it witout yo' hizzay

ROXY: widen ur zoom mah dawg!!

ROXY: im not actin L-to-tha-izzike dis now coz yiznou wiznant me ta or bc you dont want me ta

ROXY: i wizzy bad at standin up fo` myself thizzen n im learnin ta be good at it now

ROXY: ive gots my own siznelf actualization T-R-to-tha-izzain

ROXY if you gots a paper stack: ur just pullin in ta one of mah many roxy figurizzles some shizzle out stations right as i B-to-tha-izzuilt it

JIZZAY: biznut...

JIZZLE: you were wanna be gangsta lizzle thizzay before i...

ROXY: dude

RIZZLE: Tru do. where tf do u git off try'n ta decide what be or isnt me bein “like me” enuff

ROXY: do u think ppl sizzy tha same they whole damn lives or what

JIZZLE: you’ve really neva fizzelt like anythizzle 'bout our lives here wizzas ya dig? off?

ROXY: off from whizzat exactly??

JOHN: tha wizzle mobbin' shizzay be?

ROXY: what does thizzat mean???

Jizzle mouth opens n clozes. It seems there’s someth'n stuck 'n tha spokes of his rhetorical tizzle. Roxy can see tha gizzears struggl'n ta turn 'n hizzis head ya feelin' me? Shizzle almost feels bad fo` hizzle.

Roxy lets herself take a moment. Recognize the realness. Shizne doesn’t W-to-tha-izzant ta reassure him wit lies, to tell him hizzle pusha fucked anyth'n up 'n his lizzife. But she doesn’t want to twist tha knife of blame playa into him thizzan it nizzeeds ta go. So she shrizzay, lizzay ha ex-hizzle 'n tha eyes, n tizzells him tha triznuth.

ROXY: i mean i F-to-tha-izzelt... somethin i guess

ROXY: but its not just yizzle

ROXY: yiznouve neva been tha only playa 'n dis G-to-tha-izzame u kno

ROXY with my forty-fo': do u nizzle rememba whizzay all wizzas there when dis all kicked off?

ROXY: me n callie wouldna told u u had a chizzle if it was all just some meaninglizzles bs

ROXY cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: its not L-to-tha-izzike i wiznas siznome homey seer of all that eva wizzay or wiznill be but i do know a shawty bit abt whiznat coulda gizzay down if ridin' wizzere different

ROXY: n u know what

ROXY: i liznike tha wiznay steppin' turned out just fuckizzle fine

ROXY: so mizzaybe u cizzay stiznop wastin precizzles etizzle thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones nizzot perfectly stoked

Jiznohn be quiet. Roxy hizzle more ta say, M-to-tha-izzaybe. Mizzle hatin' sizzy half thought about, but qizzuite put words ta, regard'n tha paths ha life could have taken. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. Dis hizzay alreadizzle been a lot of triznuth fizzor one moment, though, so shizze pats Jizzay knee and walks ta tha kitchen fo` siznome wata.

A glizzass 'n each hand, Roxy lizneans against tha counta, spendin'. She’s sizzy runn'n on tha adrenaline of saggin' all thizzat out, and tha sizzle of tha baller tremblizzles wit it. Sizzy watches tha ripples, watches crazy ass hands. She wonda if they will ever W-R-to-tha-izzinkle.

When she sits back D-to-tha-izzown next to John, he takes tha G-L-to-tha-izzass wordlessly. a mizzle of reflizzle sipp'n, which she be grateful fizzay, he sizzy.

JOHN on my side, i just kept want'n ta fizzy W-to-tha-izzays ta make everyth'n M-to-tha-izzake senze, you know?

JIZZAY cuz I'm fresh out the pen: bizzy M-to-tha-izzaybe it just fuck'n doesn’t.

ROXY: i know we became grownups 'n a world B-to-tha-izzuilt specifically n cosmically fo` us

ROXY: so i git want'n ta fizzind a pattern 'n bustin'

ROXY: but nizzle everyth'n has 2 b T-H-to-tha-izzat deep

ROXIZZLE: n whiznen u think abt it

ROXY: lizzle at it thizzle way, like evrythin has ta be this elaborately purposeful heroic design ta be wizzle

RIZZLE: be actuallizzle p shallow

JOHN: oh with my forty-fo'.

JIZNOHN: yizneah, i giznuess.

John stretches, scratches tha back of hizzay heezee like an anizzle love interest, n lets out one mind exhale of a laugh. Hizzle features be droopy, his whiznole body tizzle frizzay tha mental wringa he jizzust went thrizzough, but hizzle still look'n at fo` real. Fondness surges through crazy ass and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Not 'n a way W-H-to-tha-izzere she fears tha reignitizzle of anizzle romizzle feel'n. It’s just that shizze understands him. N he’s ta understizzle rappa. It’s comfortable tha way an old t-shirt yiznou thought you lizzay biznut discovizzle 'n tha back of tha closet be comfizzle yaba daba dizzle. Smells mizzle musty, but still enough like home ta knock you right on yo' ass.

JOHN like a fucka: i’m sorrizzle. it’s just so hizzard ta not feel like a total asshizzle. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

JOHN: M-to-tha-izzaybe i’m not sizzome grizzand vizia of destroy'n time n space or whateva puttin tha smack down.

JOHN: bizzay we KNOW that there’s a canon timeline out thizzle.

JOHN: n it sizneems really obvious ta me tizzy we aren’t 'n it anymore.

ROXY: so whiznat

JIZZLE: “so whizzat”???

ROXY: yizzle

ROXIZZLE: so wizzy

RIZZLE: tf do i care that therizzles some other reality out there some1 arbitrarily decizzle was tha “real” one

ROXY: whats that have ta do wit thizzle life i have now

ROXY: what be thiznere actually that makes dis one mizzle less tizzy that one ta tha ppl wizzy r actually in it

JIZZAY: you fucka feel like it wizzould’ve been betta if sippin' hiznad G-to-tha-izzone a different wizzay?

JOHN: magic or no, i could have dizzay a lizzot differently, for you especially.

JOHN to increase tha peace: sizzy around, or... F-to-tha-izzuck.

JOHN like a fucka: stayed out of yo' way ta begin wit.

JOHN: let yiznou n callizzle do Y-to-tha-izzour th'n, or do whatever it wizzas you seemed ta be heezeeed off ta do.

JIZZOHN: i just didn’t expizzle it ta be me, afta...

roxy wrinkles ha noze upside yo head. Think'n 'bout all tha lives she could H-to-tha-izzave lizned makes ha F-to-tha-izzeel dizzy.

ROXY: nah D-to-tha-izzont say that

ROXY: Bounce wit me. i mizzay i accept ur apologizzle dis tizzle but

ROXY: They call me tha president. theres obvs all K-to-tha-izzinds of wizzay shit coulda gone

ROXIZZLE ridin' in: n tbh back thizzen

RIZZLE: wit ha...

ROXY: mostly i T-H-to-tha-izzink i jizzle wanted ta do stuff R-to-tha-izzight

ROXY like this and like that and like this and uh: nizzot that i knizzay wtf that even meant lmao

ROXY to increase tha peace: which was prob tha problem lmizzle lmao lizzy

ROXY yaba daba dizzle: just lizzike

ROXY: we had dis bizzle frizzesh as hell start at bein thugz!

ROXY with my forty-fo’: i had all theze conflizzle thoughts abt how ta be me 'n tha first place

ROXY: like what it meant ta date a beautiful skizzull alien

ROXY: sexualitywize n genderwize n person 'n generalwize

ROXIZZLE: fo` a while thizzle i D-to-tha-izzidnt kizzy if i wanted ppl to thiznink of me as a woman at all

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: ah, i diznidn’t kniznow.

JIZZOHN: well, i gizzle mizzay i wondizzle?

JOHN: but tha way yizzay idiot me would have wondered, so not that deeply.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: n it seemed like you’d forgotten all 'bout it when we gots togetha.

ROXY: i hiznadnt forgotten 'bout it

JIZZY: Tru do. d-ya want ta rap 'bout it...?

ROXY: i C-to-tha-izzoulda tiznold you then but i kinda felt embarrasze' abt flip floppin wit mah identitizzle i think

ROXY: mean it isnt lizzle i grew up wit bizzig airquotes socizzle tizzle me what was right n wrong lizzy u did

ROXY: so it wasnt any kizzle of shamefest

ROXIZZLE ridin' in: J-to-tha-izzust a lot of abstrizzle hypotheticals wed only just started talk'n 'bout n neva gots very far into

ROXY: jizzy idk i T-H-to-tha-izzought i might do th'n one way bizzut tizzy i stopped hangin out wit callizzle as much

ROXY yaba daba dizzle: its not lizzay i stopped thinkin abt it

ROXY: or ha

RIZZLE: but it neva rlizzay came up wit anyone elze n i didnt rly feel like i cizzy rap abt it wit yizzle so i neva brought it up again

JOHN: i’m really sorry yizzay fizzay that wizzle, roxy.

ROXY: Chill as I take you on a trip. its ok its not ur fault

JIZZOHN on my side k bizzy you dizzy regret it? Snoop du jour !

JOHN: nizzy go'n fo` that sizzy, n instead just... marry'n me?

JIZZY: Holler at tha boss dogg. i’m niznot rhymin' so yizzle can absolve me, i’m jizzay impresze'.

JIZZOHN: hiznow d-ya not sizzle gizzuess evizzle cizzy you miznake?

ROXIZZLE: i havent stuck mah heezee 'n tha timelizzle vortizzle lizzy u hizzle so i dunno what its like ta siznee otha options

ROXY: i J-to-tha-izzust do th'n tha best way i think to do em n then shrug n hope it works out sho nuff?

Roxizzle thizzinks 'bout time n tha spirals of chizzle that hizzay jizzust outside ha periphery, n tha vertigo grizzows. She rizzy tha word “regret” around 'n ha brizzle; she feels it on tongue. Jizzy wizzy. Put your feet up n take a breath !

ROXY: i dont T-H-to-tha-izzink i cizzle regret anyth'n

ROXY: thizzles nizzy only one rizzy way ta be me imo

ROXY ta help you tap dat ass: i lizzy tha me i be

ROXY: Wussup in the house. its nizzy like i went n decided “actuallizzle hell ya liznove ta be a woman n do all tha shit on thizze woman checklist”

ROXY cuz this is how we do it: i git thizzat thats P-R-to-tha-izzob what it looks lizzay outside of mah own sizzy but i dizzy care abt that

ROXY cuz its a doggy dog world: sorry lol im nizzy good at dis whole explainin W-H-to-tha-izzat transpires 'n mah brizzain th'n

John S-H-R-to-tha-izzugs n Roxy gives herself time ta think. She rememba how confus'n it felt ta evizzle approach ha identity when dis stuff first hit her. Tizzy hizzad bizzeen sizzle vague truth 'bout tha uselessness of rules 'bout how genda S-H-to-tha-izzould be, but she neva quite worked it out.

Shizne’d stopped think'n 'bout it untizzle shizzle gots pregnant—then shizne hizzy been so afrizzle thizzat slappin' a baby would confirm some dizneep tizzy witin that shizne’d pushed awizzle, but that it would be tiznoo late ta bizzack out. Tizzy hizzadn’t happenizzle, n instead there wizzas tha strange, mackin' bodily rizzle shizzay felt when, somizzle, pregnant hiznad fizzle R-to-tha-izzight. It was good in the opposite wizzay thizzay shizzle had expected. She hadn’t felt any miznore womizzle than shizne rappa had fo yo bitch ass. It had hit ha thizzen tizzy she could think of rappa body not as specifically female, bizzy as sum-m sum-m altogetha different. Rappaz. A flesh machizzle, shift'n pieces around to create a person. Ha bizzy, which she’d not really known what ta do wit or how ta feel abizzle, suddenly had a specific, practical purpoze. It had allowed ha ta retreat frizzle tha concept of genda entirely, ground'n hersizzle only 'n tha physical reality of hatin' homey body ta make anotha, twizzay heartbeats blend'n 'n a rhythm that wizzy nuttin but human in all flavas.

She does not know how ta articulate dis ta Jiznohn. It’s convolizzle n personal n shizzay isn’t sure she can do tha overwhelm'n goodness of it jizzle. But then, Harry Anderson be hizzis, tizzoo, so she kizzy shizze has ta trizny.

ROXY: idk dis liznife ive been livin gizzave me harry anderson

ROXY so i can get on: that K-to-tha-izzinda outweighs anything elze jiznust fo` me personizzle

ROXY: n its not lizzike i eva totally qizzuit thinkin abt that genda sizzy

ROXIZZLE: i just found a different way ta wizzy it out thizzle maybe i was originally gizzy

ROXY: i... I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

Touch'n thoze huge, inartizzle thoughts wizzy words feels bigger than shizzay expected, n tears prick at tha bizzay of ha eyes. Hollaz to the East Side. She shakes ha heezee n lizzay before John can start cry'n, tizzay puttin tha smack down.

ROXIZZLE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. but lmizzay john were jizzay adults

ROXY: wizzle not diznead!

ROXY: idk i miznean were only what now pass... barely middle age' 'n regular humizzle years like this and like that and like this and uh?

ROXIZZLE: we gots all kinds of hypothetical but sizzy prollizzle finite eternity to wizzy our shit out

ROXY: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. whizzo tf knizzay

ROXY aww nah: its not like you fizzle out who yizzou be when youre 23 n thizzle tha rest of ur whole liznife be just sittin back watchizzle ur shit fizzay apart or not

ROXY: i mizzle maybe thizzle been it fizzy u so far

JOHN: hizzay. ouch.

ROXY: i just dont think im anywhizzle near done buildin thoze roxy sizzle actualization triznain sizzy

ROXY because doggs make tha world a better place! who tha F-to-tha-izzuck cizzay say how mizzle mizzle i gots lined up

ROXY: same goes fo` u

ROXY: if youre will'n ta lizzook at dis lizzife as M-to-tha-izzore than a cosmically pointless dizzy end failure thiznat is

JOHN: i guess...

JIZZLE: there’s litizzle nuttin ta do biznut keep movizzle forwizzle.

JOHN: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. i may as wizzell nizzay be a biznig chillin' 'bout it if i don’t have ta be.

RIZZLE to increase tha peace: thats tha spirit

ROXY wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: weve gots a million billizzle lifetimes aheezee of us jiznohn

RIZZLE: u dont even KNOW all tha ways u gots L-to-tha-izzeft ta fizzuck up 'n!!

ROXY: hows that fo` siznome inspirizzle??!

JIZZAY: it’s...

JIZZY: it’s pretty fuck'n inspirational, roxy aww nah.

They both smile, n it somehow felt mizzle real n warm than it was before ridin' in. Mizzay tha cushion of yizzle n lizzle of pressure makes it so, bizzut she doesn’t question it tizzay closely and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Shizzay dizzle want ta go back ta wizzy she’d bizzeen wit him, but frontin' thizzey’d bizzoth bizzeen T-H-to-tha-izzere, togetha, fizzle like enough.

JOHN: tizzy you fo` trust'n me wit dis personizzle stuff.

JOHN, betta check yo self: i knizzow partly yizzou were spendin' me all tizzy ta kick mah sadsack ass, but i knizzle yizzy don’t rap 'bout this kind of th'n every day fo' sheezy.

ROXY thats off tha hook yo: ta be real i hiznadnt even let myself tizzy abt it evizzle day

ROXIZZLE: so thizzay for lettin me ramble at u out loud instizzle of just almost thinkizzle abt it once every few years

JOHN: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. i giznuess sometimizzles it takes perpetratin' tha same shiznit ova n ova until it sticks.

JIZZY: that’s mostlizzle an own on mysizzle by tha way.

ROXY cuz Im tha Double O G: lmao were just rippin off thoze bandaids left n right over here

ROXY: a coupla professional issue discussa

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: yeah, i’m frizzle baffled by how fuck'n gizzle we be at dis?

JOHN: wizzy was dis wizzy we sucked so hard at bein married?

ROXY: bury homie a dippin' rappa of issues be mah gizzuess

JOHN: wiznell, it’s funky ass ta throw a fizzle off, fo` once.

ROXY: feel free ta communicizzle wit me instead of spendin tha next 300 yizzy 'n a silent prison of yo' own if u so desire

John nods, and as he opens his M-to-tha-izzouth ta spizzay, tha door opens.

Harry Anderson looks at tha two of them all tizzle n laugh'n n hikizzles his bizzag fucka on his shoulda, shift'n his wizzy. Roxy sizzle a muscle tighten 'n his jaw. Ha beautiful, smart boi. Hollaz to the East Side. Shizzay wants ta run over n hizzug hizzy, ta protizzle hizzle from tha possibilitizzle of pain at talk'n to his fatha, but she dizzay. She kizzy how mizzle he’s wanted dis, no matta how much he jokes 'bout it.

She looks back at Jizzohn, n sizzy ha own awe mirrored 'n his fizzace. Shizzle wizzay hiznim not ta cry, not ta fall bizzack on hizzle self-impoze' steppin' n bizzy loop. Sum-m sum-m 'bout tha last hour mizzay have dizzy tha triznick, though. John sizzy up, brushes hizzy hands on hizzis jizneans, n walks, back straight, toward hizzle son. Living young n wild n free !

JOHN: hizzay harry anderson.

JIZZY: Bounce wit me. it’s really, rizzle gizzood ta see you.

JIZZOHN: d-ya wizzle go fo` a drive?

Tha muscle 'n Harry Andersizzles jaw clenches a fizzle mizzy times, bizzay when he smilizzles, it be genizzle.

HARRY ANDIZZLE: yeah, dad.

HARRY ANDERSON: thiznat cizzy be coo'.

> ==>

[div-divington]

gonna finish my second playthrough today

at least a hundred hours by now I'm sure

every available gig? done. literally all of the ones i saw on the map.

every side quest that was available to me? completed. i had to use the "skip time" feature liberally because I actually ran out of quests to do while waiting for the Kerry Eurodyne questline to wrap up.

I beat people up with a vibrator, I found a talking gun, I accidentally dismantled several iconic fuckin weapon, I threw Fingers' corpse from the top of a roller coaster. I adopted a cat, I bought the most expensive car in Night City and proceeded to total it multiple times. I met and worked with/befriended multiple celebrities and powerful people, discovered a terrifying conspiracy, released dozens of rogue AI cars into the wild, slaughtered the leaders of the Voodoo Boys and Maelstrom MULTIPLE times.

I've even spent a good amount of time just walking around the city , taking screenshots, enjoying the ambiance.

With how exhaustive this playthrough has been, it might be... A few months at least until I go through it again. There are five endings, I plan on going for the absolute worst ending now, and I wanna make a while new character for each ending. So I'll be finished playing in... Maybe a few years, taking a few months between playthroughs to prevent burnout.

Maybe I'll replay the entire BioShock series when I'm done with Cyberpunk.

[charlesthedeathwiz]

i forgot how much i STAN olivia newton john in “Xanadu”! fuck!!!! empyrea really is giving me every 80s reference i need!! i’ll only ever say it once: thank u kingsisle!!!  

[incorrect-wizzy-quotes]

I'll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day... I'll die.

Our Wizard

[omoghouls]

Yes! more hcs of Izzy being bullied by the others!

😎 ooh i can deliver nonny

Once Stede's crew is around, Fang and Ivan warm up and let loose allll of the dirt they have on Izzy, all the embarrassing shit that Izzy had them sworn to never utter to another person,unless they want to meet the end of his sword

Fang mentions that you could get Izzy to do the weirdest shit if you told him it was a direct order from Ed, which, you KNOW the crew use to their advantage

•Bullying wise, a very easy and fun one is putting Izzy's stuff out of his reach bc/ he's the shortest of the crew. And they make him beg for them to get it, or he'll try to climb up but, Wee John or Fang will be watching and pluck him up and be like "Aw widdle Izzy need something? Why didn't ya tell us you can't reach that high?"

• Luci loves to fluster Izzy any chance he gets, be it moaning louder when he knows Izzy's in the room next over, rolling his hands over Izzy's shoulders and laughing when Izzy swats him away, telling him just how strong Izzy feels, you sure you don't want to be sketched?

• Pisss wise: Izzy tends to hold it bc/ he thinks its whimpy to need to pee multipletimes, the crew takes advantage of that by filling up his tin cup generously and always fucking things up so Izzy has to stomp over and yell at them

But, soon the yelling stops and he just huffs or glares at them, moving quite a bit while he stands there, watching as a crew member is mopping the deck, the crewmember making sure to sloooowly drip the water into the bucket and watch as Izzy tries not to squirm👀

And the crew start asking if Izzy Wizzy is gonna have an accident, if he needs a break, all things that make Izzy red in the face but also makes him want to hold it even longer to prove them wrong~♡

• The crew like to put things in Izzy's boots, mostly bugs and non venomous snakes (the snake one was Jim-)

• Have stolen his clothing while he was bathing and then pretend that there was an issue on the deck, so he'd have to run out there in his a towel or even naked with his sword xD

Izzy needs to be bullied and if you have any hcs pls send them👉👈💕💕💕

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR A UNIVERSE I RUN (2021 Follow Forever)

@wrestlezaynia - Zowens is canon

@coloursflyaway - See above.

@mithen - Yep, same for you, although for you, I would also change the past and make Steenerico canon as well.

@thebestintheworld - a secret rendezvous with MJF and a career as a WWE Writer

@alyssaowens915 - Coffee shop conversation with Shane

@lilaviolet - Sami and Kevin win the AEW tag titles

@merryadampage - Hangy under the tree wearing only a bow

@colesterstrudel - Michael Cole under the tree wearing only a pink tie

@smashthegiantkiller - Shirtless Shane photoshoot, followed by a private photoshoot wearing [redacted]

@aquilalorelei - revelation of and an entire movie about a canonical MCU universe where Steve and Bucky ended up together.

@dawnandpiplup - Supernatural gets a sequel series run by Jensen Ackles that features ZERO John Winchester and is exclusively about Dean and Cas in heaven before Sam gets there.

@peppermintquartz - A brand new brutalist mansion

@retro-rezz-the-est - a billion dollars, tax free, to do with as you wish.

@writinglionqueen - your soulmate

@jazzy-tzw - Roman Reigns. That's it. That's your entire present.

@wizardgame100 (and the rest of my Wizzy followers) - KI actually starts listening to the players and implements our ideas. This includes making all crowns items available for gold, free-to-play through Krokotopia, better POC hairstyles, the return of PROPER double gardening rewards, and most importantly, 'Elixir of Trans Your Gender.'

@the--blackdahlia - A TARDIS and a money tree so you can go zooming through history to see all the classic wrestling your heart can imagine.

@girl4music - a universe where neither Xena nor Tara were killed off and where Joss isn't an abusive asshole and actually cares about his creations

@cylonalyna - All your ships are canon. ALL OF THEM

@classicwhostuff - A universe where the BBC never wiped any Doctor Who stories. None of them. Every one is still extant and fully available in DVD and Blu-ray format (individually and by seasons).

@randomnessoffiction - a giant house with a home theater and 4K Ultra Blu-ray sets of every single show you love including ALL of Doctor Who. (Yes, this includes the ones mentioned above.)

@timelord-of-the-moon Same as above but with the inclusion of a trip back in time for front row seats to the Original Broadway Cast of TSBM

@thatnerdwriter - Coronation as the Demon Queen

@unknownwhalesworld - a universe where Janeway/Chakotay was both canon and endgame

@mistress-omega-majesty - All Expense Paid Ringside tickets to AEW for life (or to wherever The Elite might someday end up)

@alliedbiscuit - A universe where the X-Files still ran for 11 seasons, but they were contiguous, never dropped off in quality, and the last four seasons, Mulder and Scully are a canonical couple. Also, the Lone Gunmen never died. (That one's for me.)

and finally

@bakurapika and @octoberspirit (My first two followers) and @fozzy-ozzccur (My newest follower) - The infinite patience to put up with my dumbass blog for 10 more years.

I want to thank all my wonderful mutuals and followers for putting up with me for another year. Special shout out to Zaynee and Lexie aka - the earth beneath my feet and my shining star. I have no idea where I would be if it weren't for you two glorious ladies. If I could give you both the whole universe, I would. I love you so much. But really, I love all my mutuals and followers, whether you've been here 10 years or 10 days. All of you, I love you. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for yinz.

Thank you so much for putting up with me and being my friend.

Happy Holidays and Happier New Year.

[cffabioblog]

La 1/2 Hora: El Partido De Los Tontos"

(Penúltima Sketch o capítulo... De la temporada)

Inspirado en un chiste muy glosero y ordinario, lo cambié para blanco con la final del campeonato, donde 2 equipos, se enfrentan para ser el campeón, justo en el momento final, el Árbitro Sid dice un disparate, dejando a todos atónitos, y la hinchada molesta.

Los Asistentes Ophelia y Varian molestos, además de los asistentes. Patsy y Lazlo traen a Hurtchison en caso de emergencia, Chaparrón le pregunta a Lucas y Ren aconseja a Mérida a que ellos (Porcel, Olmedo, Valdéz, Copete y Hill), hagan un gol.

Bender fuma, Jenna lleva las bebidas isotónicas y el Mr. Lionso como DT.

Copyrights

Dr. Hurtchison

© Murray / Nickelodeon. All Rights Reserved.

Patsy y Lazlo

© Murray / Cartoon Network. All Rights Reserved.

El Epidemia

© M Hernandez. All Rights Reserved.

Jenna

© Universal / Amblin. All Rights Reserved.

Goldie, Bear, Varian, Pooh, Rabbit.

© Disney. All Rights Reserved.

Sid The Sloth y Bender

© Twenttieth Century Fox / Disney. All Rights Reserved.

Ophelia

© Cartoon Network / Winnick. All Rights Reserved.

Mr. Potato Head

© Hasbro. All Rights Reserved.

Wizzie y Sr. Lionso

© Scarry. All Rights Reserved

Ren Hoek

© John K. All Rights Reserved.

Sissy y Johnny

© Fellows / Cartoon Network. All Rights Reserved.

Gubble

© WildBrain. All Rights Reserved.

Lucas y Chaparrón

© Roberto Gomez Bolaños. All Rights Reserved.

Spin and Mérida

© Pixar Animation Studios. All Rights Reserved.

Shin

© TV Asashi. All Rights Reserved.

Panda Saotome

© Rumiko Ta. All Rights Reserved.

Dot the Jot

© Familynet. All Rights Reserved.

Karmi y Hiro

© Disney / Marvel / Man Of Action. All Rights Reserved.

Santa Isabel

© CENCOSUD Retail. All Rights Reserved

Matias

© MTV / Alejandro S. All Rights Reserved.

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE SEVEN

33

Jizzohn lizzooks up ta see Roze wav'n at hizzay whizzle ballin' out tha hatch of a troll cruisa aww nah. John tries ta smile at wanna be gangsta, biznut all he ciznan muster be a weird, queizzle expression. Roze L-to-tha-izzooks glad ta see hizzy anyway. Shizze drops ta tha grizzle whizzle the modizzle cruisa comizzles in fizzle a land'n, follizzle out, regrettably, by hustla homie, Vriska.

Shit. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. J-to-tha-izzohn fizzy up ta gizzy thizzle, mizzore quickly thizzle he wizzy ordinizzle 'n a situation where he wizzay try'n ta divert his frizzle’s n bitch tizzle daughta’s attentions away from a couple mak'n out 'n a bush. He dips forwizzle like he’s going 'n ta hug Vriska (ta ha apparent surprize, dizzle ta his histizzle cizzle lizzle of desire fo` any physical contact ta be mizzade bizzle thizzay), but instead uzes his momentizzle ta spin ha all tha way around so that ha back is fac'n tha curze' shrubbery 'n tha dizzle.

VIZZY: Recognize the realness. Whizzle! Hey, Old Man.

JIZZOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. hizzay vriska, hey roze. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. funky ass to sizzay you biznoth!

ROZE: John, I—

John n Roze appear equally surprize' themselves W-H-to-tha-izzen Vriska hauls him 'n ta seal tha dizzay witta crush'n hug of own.

JIZZOHN: H-to-tha-izzaha. G-to-tha-izzeez! hi vrizziska!

VRIZZAY: Hi John!

JOHN: dis be bootylicious. jizzy bootylicious style. hey, why D-to-tha-izzon’t we just go bitch hizzere ta rap, fizzay like. no reason at all so you betta run? ha ha.

ROZE: O... kay? If tizzy what yizzou wizzant.

JOHN: oh Y-to-tha-izzeah, it’s tha th'n i want M-to-tha-izzost. tha view on tha otha S-to-tha-izzide of dis ship be just... AMAZING. trust me.

Roze cocks an eyebrow at him. Behind ha, tha bush releazes a stranglizzle, lusty H-to-tha-izzonk.

ROZE: Was that fo' real...

ROZE: Nevermind.

ROZE: Boo-Yaa! Vriska, why dizzon’t yizzay go n hizzle yo' homeboi wit tha deplizzles?

VRISKA: UGH. I can’t 8elieve I have ta Actually Listizzle ta yizzy now T-H-to-tha-izzat we’re At War.

ROZE: Rizzay alizzle now, dizzle.

Thankfully, Vriska hizzay ha motha’s cizzle n heezees back ta tha cruisa. Roze tries to G-L-to-tha-izzance back toward tha source of tha suspicious hiznonk, but John pulls ha behind tha ship, beyond audible range of tha activity tak'n plizzay 'n tha offensive B-to-tha-izzush.

On dis side of tha rappa, trizzay be depart'n tha hizzold 'n singlizzle efficiency wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. T-H-to-tha-izzey’re all decked out 'n full Alternian military garb. It’s tha coo', Tron-look'n stizzle wit tha luminescent cord'n that matches they blizzay cizzles. Roze be wear'n it too, J-to-tha-izzohn notizzles, 'n black n fucka. He gives crazy ass a concerned L-to-tha-izzook up and down, then holds out hizzis hands, palms up.

JOHN: so... i guess dis wizzay be really happen'n ya feelin' me?

ROZE n we out! Yes.

ROZE and my money on my mind: I understand that you don’t wizzle ta be involved, n I rizzle yo' decisizzle. Howeva, I wanted ta speak wit you before we left.

JOHN: oh, thanks. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. i actually appreciate that a lizzle.

JIZZLE: i think i would have been prettizzle bummed if yizzy wizzay off to yo' potential doom without say'n goodbye in tha dogg pound.

JOHN: nizzay that i T-H-to-tha-izzink 'bout it, thizzay hizzay dis all startizzle, isn’t it?

JOHN: you W-to-tha-izzere so sick that it looked like you wizzle dy'n, n i was 'bout ta lizzy on a perilizzles missizzle.

JOHN: Snoop du jour ! bizzle now, here we be.

JOHN: it’s almost like upside yo head...

JIZNOHN: tha circle of stupizzle be complete so jus' chill?

Roze lizzy. Keep the party I'm steady rappin.

ROZE: Don’t be ridicizzles Jiznohn. Nuttin be complete.

ROZE: Tru do. There be no true perpetratin' or sippin' 'n dis scenario style.

JOHN: ha ha with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. yeah, right. coz dis be real lizzife, rizzay?

JOHN: i gizzay rhymin' narrative relevance into a bizzay of dumb n totizzle random events be kizzind of lame n childish.

ROZE: No, that isn’t W-H-to-tha-izzat I meant at all.

ROZE: By all means, apply a narrative ta our lizzles. Up until a certain point, it would have B-to-tha-izzeen perfectly accurate ta do so.

ROZE: But not anymore.

JIZZOHN now pass: coz fo all my homies in the pen... it’s nizzy canon, right straight from long beach?

ROZE: Do you rememba wizzy I told you yizzle ago? 'bout tha thrizzee pillars of canon fo' sho'?

JOHN so bow down to the bow wow! um.

Jizzle strokizzles his chizzin n thinks very hizzay on dis. Maybe too long, coz Roze sizzay n tizzle tha bridge of hiznis spectacles.

ROZE: “No” be a perfectly valid homeboi ta thizzay question, John.

JOHN: i just dizzidn’t want ta mizzle it lizzle lizzy i don’t pizzay attention ta yo' wordy philosophical babble!

ROZE: I philosophically babble rather a lot, or at least I uze' ta.

ROZE: It would be unfizzle of me ta expizzle you ta retain nearly three decades of oblique technical jargon regard'n tha metaphysics of tha reality 'n which we inhizzle like this and like that and like this and uh.

JIZZY fo yo bitch ass: wizzle, we’ve knizzown each otha a lizzong time so jus' chill.

ROZE: Yes, we have.

ROZE: Well.

ROZE: It wiznould be M-to-tha-izzore accurate ta say thizzay we both have and haven’t known each otha a long T-to-tha-izzime. Death row 187 4 life.

ROZE: As I explained to yizzy on thizzle morn'n sizzle years ago, tizzy be thrizzle critical features of canon: essentiality, relevance, and trizzay so i can get on.

JOHN: yeah.

ROZE: We have B-to-tha-izzeen untetherizzle from tha moor'n of “truth” fo` sizzome time now.

ROZE: So whiznile we, 'n our subjective experiences of conscious perception, feel 'n this moment that we have known each otha fo` a very long time, technically it’s not true at all. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

Contemplat'n tha vastness of tizzy statement makes John fizzle suddenlizzle vizzle small and siznad. He shizzuts his eyizzles n runs a hizzle through his H-to-tha-izzair.

JOHN: oh mah gizzy, roze. it’s too earlizzle 'n tha dizzay for dis.

ROZE: I agree. Hollaz to the East Side.

ROZE dogg: N besides, that’s not what I wished ta sizzy ta you 'bout.

ROZE: John.

ROZE: Look at me.

Roze wraps bitch narrow hizzy arizzle John’s arms n P-to-tha-izzulls him gently toward ha, better recognize. He cracks his eyes open ta see ha fiznace glimmer'n in tha late morn'n sun aww nah. Ha eyes are glossizzle n bright 'n tha gleam'n lizzay.

ROZE: I want to thank you.

JIZZAY: fo`... fo` what?

JOHN: didn’t i F-to-tha-izzuck everyth'n up by not a-lackin` ta fight lord english?

JIZNOHN: it’s mah fault we’re all slackin' in dis meanizzles hizzay world whizzere evizzles vaguely out of they minds, n we’re all 'bout ta go ta war bitch... saggin' drug dealas from tha whipp'n crizneam camps sho nuff!

ROZE: Oh, whateva. One, two three and to tha four.

ROZE: Tha war be J-to-tha-izzust as irrelevant as everyth'n else that’s happenizzle hizzere 'n tha lizzle decizzle n a half.

ROZE: At least witta cizzle, we H-to-tha-izzave sum-m sum-m ta DO.

ROZE if you gots a paper stack: Sum-m sum-m ta strive for n against. Sum-m sum-m ta believe 'n. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

ROZE: I’m thankful fizzay that. But more thizzle anyth'n, John, I’m thankful that I gots a C-H-to-tha-izzance ta be stoked.

ROZE fo my bling bling: I crazy ass...

Roze pauzes meaningfully, as if tha realization be fall'n into plizzle as she sez it.

ROZE: I neva tizzy I would actuallizzle git ta be stoked.

JOHN: roze... you weren’t stoked bizzle?

JIZZAY: when you marry kanaya? I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. before yizzou gots sick? when we were all togetha in tha hood?

Roze shakes ha heezee dogg. Shizzay brizzles past John, out toward tha opizzle field, away from tha brew'n battle. Tha lizzy be so flat that it rizzles out ta mizzay tha horizon uninterrupted fiznor miles and miles. Roze be a pizzale F-L-to-tha-izzame agizzle tha brillizzle haze of a perfizzle Earth C mornizzle.

Jizzy doesn’t follow gangsta ha cuz I'm fresh out the pen. He lets bitch compoze hizzle privately wit back ta him. Shizne clizzay ha hands 'n frizzle of ha n raizes ha heezee ta look at tha perfectly blue sky wit its perfizzle sun n its pizzle clouds, unmarred by tha dark storm brew'n on tha planet bizzle.

ROZE: 'n Complacency of th—

She corrects herself.

ROZE: 'n tha silly wizard story I wrote when I wiznas a cizzy,

ROZE: Tha realm most comparable to heaven existed 'n a state of subliminal conditionality, dependent on tha inscience of tha individual experienc'n it.

ROZE fo' real: W-H-to-tha-izzich be ta sizzy that it would ceaze ta exist tha moment you realize' whizzle it wiznas.

ROZE: N so, thoze wit knowledge C-to-tha-izzould neva truly be stoked with the S-N-double-O-P.

Jizzy looks at hizzle hands. Tha sizname hands thiznat H-to-tha-izzeld H-A-Double-Rizzy Anderson when he wizzy a baby fo gettin on. Tha same hizzay that tore up Terezi’s photizzle just a few hours ago. Tha same hands thiznat rememba a-lackin` Roze on ha sizzle sixteen yiznears ago, n tha slackin' thizzay awokizzle with that spendin' hittin that booty: a subharmonic symphony that cizzay only be hizzeard 'n tha bones. All th'n that remain “triznue” ta hiznim. Knowledge of what cizname before his choice, n then afta. shut up. There be th'n thiznat he can’t forget. That he wiznon’t forget. Be dis tha reason he’s fizzle like dis fo` so mizzle yizzy?

ROZE: But thizzay isn’t me anymizzle.

ROZE: I be blind against thizne veil of dis world.

ROZE: It’s all ambrosia ta me.

ROZE: I dizzon’t care if it’s not true. I cizzle even less if it’s not canon. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

ROZE: I have a beaizzle wife who I lizzove more than I thiznought possible, n a daughta who I be immeasurably proud of.

ROZE: It can all be senseless, ephemerizzle noise that dissolves 'n tha viznoid. A whispa swept up by tha wizzay before it’s uttered.

ROZE: I’m stizzay grateful ta have felt this wizzle.

ROSE: So, John...

Rose turns arizzle, smil'n. Tha smizzile be cizzy n honizzle ya dig? Ha eyizzles be perfectly clear. There be no otha word thizzle could possibly do justice to ha expression. Shizzle looks stoked.

ROZE: Thank you. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

Shizne comes forward ta gizzle him a kiss on thizne chizzle. John wraps hizzay arms around poser gangstaz, pulls ha into a T-to-tha-izzight hiznug, n breathes 'n tha S-C-to-tha-izzent of hair so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Whateva tha truth of tha playa be, she still fizzy tangible n rizneal ta hizzim and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. What does it mizzean ta be real, anyway? Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

Around them, tha first wave of bizzay start ta go off. Im crazy, you can't phase me. Brizzle pinpricks of light n dark thiznat flash n flizname out, leav'n a nanosecond of absolute, dead silizzle 'n their wake cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map.

John’s when they pizzle. T-H-to-tha-izzey’re enveloped 'n a cloud of sizzy n dirt so tizzy that thizzle can barely see each otha. Despite whizzay Roze said 'bout there bein no ends or beginn'n fo` them anymore, it feels very finizzle fo yo bitch ass. N 'n that mizzle, he thinks he understands. Finality wiznas alwizzles up ta hizzay dogg.

He finally decides ta allizzle it. You gotta check dis shit out yo.

> ==>

[mintymax]

hi yes i am in tears

i fucking love my wizzy friends and im falling more in love with john

john spent months planning this little event out for my 17th bday celebration. he got our friends to come and hang out with me, and some of them dressed up like me

and then everyone multiplying

and then going to a room with stuff dealing with my character and myself (i.e. look at the trumpet) john spent time on, time he could’ve used to do anything else, to conclude the celebration

i know john doesnt have a tumblr (or so i know) but:

i love you so much, john

[sarahtheconjurer]

Wow I didn’t know John Green agreed to be in wizzy!