#woke up every half hour
Text
How do you function when you get RSV and then Covid and have to spend Christmas alone and the symptoms are lasting longer this time around including insomnia and then your mom gets in a car accident and almost dies several times and after a week is still not out of the woods like. When it rains it fucking pours.
#rsv#covid#car accident#when it rains it pours#i would just like to enjoy a single day please#just one day where i’m not sick or stressed out of my mind or worried my mom is gonna die before we can reconcile from all the past shit#she was in surgery nye/nyd because her spleen was bleeding and after a few hours all i could think was that she wasn’t gonna make it#and i’m still dealing with the prolonged symptoms of covid and the insomnia is really getting to me#i fell asleep around 5:45am#woke up every half hour#stayed up after waking up at 8am bc my stomach was in knots thanks to anxiety#and i just#somebody sedate me#please just sedate me so i can get some fucking sleep
0 notes
Text
the thing about gortash redemption is he would not want to become a better person. he relishes in what he does already because in a way it's like a childish power fantasy for him come true. yeah what happened in his upbringing is absolutely fucked but instead of turning it around he's instead become just as bad as the people who mistreated him. On purpose. his motivations at their core, for me atleast, have always stemmed from a childish want for the power he lacked as a kid. and he clearly doesn't feel remorse for the fucked up shit he did and continues to do. if you tried to get him to be a good person he'd be kicking and screaming at his feet
#im not someone who thinks like. characters CANT be redeemed ever vecause you know. stupid take to have on fictional characters#but not every character would Want to be. realistically. if you get what i mean#HOPEFULLYY this post makes sense i like just woke up half an hour ago#rev txt
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
i went wandering off in my pokespe gallery and had to relieve how wonderful this scene played out. no kidding
please dont read the tags i got emotional there /lh
#the.plot felt a bit confusing to me admittedly but oras did so well in trying to make franticshipping incredibly satisfactory since#at the end of rs we couldn't really tell if they settled with each others feelings yet (APPARENTLY NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE PRIDEFUL AND DUMB/JJ)#but at least sapphire still had some thoughts about it but i was kinda mad WHY DIDNT RUBY GIVE HIS HALF OF THE FEELINGS PROPERLY!!!#WELL THIS HAPPENED WHERE HE OPENLY CONFESSES ABOUT HOW MUCH HE CARES ABOUT HER AND THE WHOLE WORLD CELEBRATED#in r/s they were constantly separated from each other by WILL BECAUSE they despise each other so much#in oras - after confessing - it literally ACHES for ruby to not see her like take a fucking shot everytime he says wheres sapphire????#THEY WERE ALWAYS AWAY FROL EACH OTHER HERE AND HE FEELS SO GUILTY FOR EVERY TIME SAPPHIRE GETS HARMED#FOR EXAMPLE; FIGHTING WITH ZINNIA AND FALLING OFF THE ROCKET - LOSING HER VOICE - RUBY HOLDING THE SECRET FROM SAPPHIRE BY PROMISING STEVEN#LITERALLY EVERUTHING SHE DOES MAKES HIM FEEL ALL THE MORE GUILTY AND HE CANT EVEN TELL HER STRAIGHT HES SORRY BECAUSE THEY'RE LITERALLY#FUCKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHRHADHDHRHSBRBDBSHSHSHE#AND WHEN THEY FINALLU MEET UP VIA TROPIUS AND RAYQUAZA SHE TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP AND HOLD HIS EMOTIONS FOR NOW. THAT'S HOW DESPERATE HE WAS#TO SEE EHR AGAIN AHAHAHAHTDTHHGG IM SO INSANEEE#AND AT THIS MOMENT HE ALMOST EMOTIONALLY CONFESSES WITH TEARS HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE HER AGAIN BECAUSE WORST COMES TO WORST HE'LL NEVER SEE#HER IF HE TRIES TO SAVE THE WORLD BY HIMSELF FROM THE METEORRRRRR AKAAJAHAAJ#AND THATS WHY HE INVITES HER TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER AS CORNY AS IT SOUNDS BUT ITS BECAUSE IF HE'LL DIE HE WANTS TO DIE WITH HER AAAHSGDV#AND SAPPHIRE'S REACTION WAS FAINTING WHICH TBH WAS A COMEDIC MOMENT FOR SUCH AN IMPACTFUL DIALOG FROM HIM BUT AJDHSJHDS MAKES ME HAPPY#y'all don't even get me started how this plays out when stevaide is in here DON'T EVEN#~ rambling#i just woke up and i chose violence (franticshipping)#pokespe hours
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
my luck is so bad it is legitimately just cruel. every day literally feels like i am being punished for every little decision i make. it’s almost hard to believe and yet somehow i’m too dumb to anticipate this…?
#i have previously been burned by usps coming an hour early and not picking up my packages#i woke up at 4:45 am this morning and got out the bed fr by 9. i knew i should have had my packages out as early as possible.#i want to get paid for the items im selling as soon as possible. i want to get a refund for my returns.#and i want these people to get their stuff#yesterday usps returned a package i had sent out to me so its already delayed#i was in the middle of packaging everything up when i noticed a package was delivered#i meant to check my email to see if they sent me that bullshit fucking email claiming to have picked up my packages when they didnt#but got distracted#so naturally. my dad leaves (the only person i could ask to drop packages off at the post office) and only then do i see that dumbass email#delivered an hour ago#i am so serious……..i cannot do this anymore#it is like this every single day#like okay. if the rest of my life is terrible. if i’m losing my mind from social isolation. if my parents quite honestly hate me.#if i have no future and no hope.#if the only interaction i can rely on is friendly coworkers and patrons at the library.#if i have to spend my days off with basically only myself and my dog to talk to.#can the little fucking things go my way? like…half of them? is that possible?#i’m not even asking to have a happy life i’m not asking to be loved i’m not asking to belong i’m not asking for a point to living#man i just want the tiniest of breaks. just. two days out the week? yeah? can i get my fucking packages sent out on time? l#can i get to work on time? with no stress? can i not look forward to eating a salad all day only for my dad to have eaten it?#can i have a normal menstrual cycle? can i stop having back pain? can i be a little comfortable? can i time my birth control correctly?#this is just so exhausting. how am i supposed to do this for years and years and years#my grandma is fucking 91#my great grandma died at like 93#i can’t even do another year of this man#i’m dreading my 25 birthday this september#i don’t know how i’m gonna make it to 30#let alone anything after that#my parents are in their 60s………it’s a nightmare to have to think about living that long
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
actual footage of me right now
#truly had the worst night sleep. just didnt sleep half of it and woke up every half an hour otherwise#and now i was supposed to have a zoom call with a michigonian? michiganite? a researcher from the university of michigan#at 8:30am and its now 9:08. and no call. so. Brooooooo hurry up or else i will take my diseased ass and go back to bed and you'll never#get my data okay#i dont even know what this call entails tbh going into this shit blind and confused and tired lmao#idk why anyone needs to verbally talk to me i could just send an email ? a letter even#send me a form of questions or something#whatever. 9:15#now bc i got up to make a coffee 😒
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
#dustox#hi! if you're coming from the cascoon post's tags‚ you already know what's up. i just woke up and i need to take my meds but i have yet to#and i have to go to work in an hour and a half. yippeeee! anyway. i think there was a shadow dustox in pkmn colosseum?#either that or i remember it super vividly bc one of the guys in pyrite town had one. which i think might (also?) be the case#i remember pretty much every pokémon those guys in pyrite town had. bc as a kid i always went back to battle them#i would always go back to check to see if they were done fighting me. and when they wanted to fight me again i would always be surprised#every time. as a kid. i thought eventually they'd stop or something i didn't even know that i was effectively just grinding#but also i was really bad at catching shadow pokémon bc i didn't know anything about type matchups. i thought the whole#not very effective and supereffective things were just totally random. so i always thought it was so funny when it said#it's not very effective… a critical hit!! because i thought that made no sense. because i didn't know what the fuck it meant#luckily‚ now i do. my brain is very filled with pokémon knowledge………#i'm gonna get off my tag-soapbox and take some meds. y'all remember to take yours‚ too‚ now
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm autistic, and my brain can't filter and process sensory input well, so everything is Loud, and sounds trigger my chronic migraines, which makes everything Louder, which triggers another migraine, which...
#wednesdays are much more crowded and noisy at the office#today i ate the first half of my lunch with my noise cancelling headphones on but my boss came and sat down next to me with his lunch#i could only make out every other word he said and the rest of the cafeteria noise sounded like a jet engine#i got a migraine and took meds#but i was still overstimulated so i stimmed with a compression ring and a wooden keychain#there's a sharp pointy tip on the wood and i poke my fingertips with it#anyway i made it home and managed to eat before lying down#i meant to sleep for an hour or two max but ended up passing out for four hours#my brain completely shut off#i woke up at my normal bedtime so now my routine and body schedule is fucked up which. you guess it. triggers a migraine.#autism#migraine#actually autistic#llbtspost
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Wishing a fun and spooky halloween to you and the dragons 😈🖤
Thank you very much!!! ‘Twas the funnest and spookiest hallow’s end ever enjoyed! 🕸️👻🖤🎃🖤👻🎃🕸️(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Audio from my favorite TikTok ever
#Throwing pumpkins at other people is one of my favorite things in game ever of all time#why did I make this? I really really really wanted to#and sped this out in like 2 and a half hours#while queuing for the headless horseman#my one multi tasking ability. alt tabbing.#you can tell on the exact frame my hand woke up and shifted into animation gear#somthing bout squash and stretch just activates my neurons#it’s frame 4 if anyone is wondering bdjdjd#Wrathy throwing my gmod ragdolling pumpkin head self at someone: Rejoice. Shiny be upon ye#it’s 2 am I should pass out#💙✨this must be magic✨💙#🖤👑do you trust me? 👑🖤#shiny scribbles#Also first time actually animating them and damn I’m actually kinda proud. minimum heavy detail but it’s pretty obvious who it is#I am not drawing all 12 of Kalecs horns for every frame I’m sorry I’m just NOT
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
attempting going to bed at 9pm (or earlier! technically. for falling asleep time) feels so ridiculous. like some sort of joke. and yet. purportedly this is what getting up at 5am would demand. is this really something people do wtf
#m#people commonly do get up at like 5 or 6 to go to work and shit right#hell if I were going to the office I would have to as well#do they actually really truly go to bed at fucking 8:30. surely that is insane#kids don't even do that I don't think#also even if I only directly require this twice a week#I probably gotta do it every day because there's no way in hell I am successfully sleeping at 9pm if I woke up at 9am lmao#well I can get away with 5:30ish but I usually snooze for at least half an hour lol so...#my first alarm for when I get up at 9am (aiming for 8:30) is 7:48#my first alarm for probably 5:30 is 4:48#so my alarm clock tells me it's time to go to bed at 20:30 and I am like bruhhh#today I probably could and should since last night bedtime was 4am#but it still feels weird as hell like it's unreasonably early#I'm still buying dinners so it is theoretically possible. it would not otherwise be#and yet idk man#just a few weeks ago at 20:30 THE SUN WOULD'VE STILL BEEN UP#even now sunset is like 8pm. you want me to sleep an hour after sunset. this is silly! it's barely dusk!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Had a dream last night that two of my best friends came to stay with me and also Mabel was alive 🥹
#we were all tucked up in my bed with me in the middle#every time i opened my eyes one of them was like ‘omg do you need anything??’#she tried to bring me an energy drink and a glass of water. and then turned on a tv i don’t have & put on a movie with the sound down#i ‘woke up’ still in the dream and one of them was gone so i went downstairs to make the other one a hot chocolate#it was a ridiculously complicated hot chocolate. it was like the luxury hot chocolates i used to make at work#and i look round and i see mabel standing at the kitchen door patiently waiting for her lunch and i’m like ‘MABEL. BABYYY’#so i tried to let her out the patio door but the key wasn’t in the patio door and also the garden gate was open#i couldn’t find the key and i was like ‘mabel must need to pee. like. she must’#i ended up putting her on a leash (she was deaf & senile & had zero recall so couldn’t be unleashed even on the driveway)#and we were about to walk down the driveway into the garden so she could pee there and then i was going to close the gate & try to find the#patio door key. i woke up before i could do any of this or finish making the hot chocolate#i was happy but also sad that i woke up. i miss my little mabel. i miss her face#at some other point in the dream i remember seeing her half asleep in her basket and i was just like 🥺🥺🥺#i just wanted to stand there and look at her because i knew she wasn’t supposed to be there and i wanted to enjoy however long i had#with her. and that’s something i don’t think i always did when she was alive. and the guilt eats me up#she was so loved. i loved her so much. but i wish i’d given her more. i wish i’d been less annoyed by her quirks#like how she could never be let off a lead and how she used to stare at me for hours even though she didn’t want anything (had been fed#recently; wouldn’t go for a walk or play with me if i tried; wasn’t receptive to attention)#if she came back for the day and all she wanted to do was stare into my soul i would be so happy. i feel so awful for ever being annoyed#by her habits. she just wanted to know where i was 😭#personal
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes working together on a thesis is like *she cant do her tasks because she’s busy with following classes I guess there’s really nothing else she does* me: oh its fine I get it I’m busy too sometimes you know if I can help you with anything let me know:)) vs. *I can’t do all my tasks on time bc well i work six days in a week and spend three nights a week doing volunteer work and oh because my thesis partner is apparently once again busy with following classes I guess she dumped all her work on my lap* she: oh you should tell me next time if you’re busy cause these tasks are really important :/ you shouldn’t like let them wait so long
#like yeah bitch I know they’re important that’s why I woke up early Monday morning to handle them but if you remember. I couldn’t cause you#did everything you were supposed to do wrong:)) and#then I skipped my lunch because that was the only time I could make free to fix it but couldn’t :)) bc apparently you didn’t even do it#wrong you just didn’t do it you copied it from someone else whose task wasn’t even remotely the same:)))#and like I get that following classes is important I get it but I literally looked up her schedule she’s got at least four half days a week#that she doesn’t have any classes. I’m making literally every minutes I have time to do these things and she can’t manage to make some time#in those four afternoons???? so she dumps them on my to do them all in the one day of the week I got free and have also other things to do#which forces me to literally not eat and sleep to be able to do them????????#I’m so pissed our meetings are literally like me: ‘oh yeah I’ve got an incredibly busy week but I’m sure if I just work longer in the#evening and sleep a little less then I can make an hour free every day to do these interviews’#she: ‘that’s great that you can make time for that! I can’t cause I’ve got a class somewhere that day so can you do like all the work??’#like if she’s gonna dump me for the statistical analysis I’m gonna literally destroy all the data in my wake good luck doing the actual work#all over again next year#sorry I’m probably overreacting#she’s not that bad but she also needs to shut up instead of criticising bc I’m not doing all the work fast enough while she’s ‘so busy’ all#the fucking time#at least I’m doing the fucking work
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last ten people that reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :D /nf
not dying
not fainting
not being completely incapacitated while conscious
not not even being able to recognize the person walking me to the nurse
not having the nurse think that you faked ACTUALLY PASSING OUT and nearly puking despite apparently being completely pale and shaking just because if you didn’t get better by the end of school she’d have to stay after with you and god forbid she actually care about the kids she is supposed to protect
#I fainted today#It was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced#I’ve been hurt and sick in just about every way possible#But this was DIFFERENT.#I could barely find my way to the nurse in the building I’ve been going to every day for most of my life without somebody else’s hand on my#Back leading me there#And my vision went all sparkling#I saw myself in a bathroom mirror and it looked like I was a photograph being burned from behind#their voices were like I was hearing through cotton balls shoved in my ears#The reason I refused to go home on the bus is because my walk home from my stop is almost a mile long#And I broke down crying in the nurse because I didn’t wanna die I didn’t wanna go home on the bus and pass out on the walk home and not hav#Anyone there to help#And honestly it was fucking traumatic#Because I’ve GOTTEN hurt before.#I fell off a fucking icy waterfall and scraped off half the skin on the right side of my leg just last week!#I’ve fallen from several stories high before#But the thing that was different about this is that the person supposed to be helping me didn’t fucking care#And was actively trying to harm me.#I got home and passed out#I just woke up from sleeping for four hours#And I’m still nauseous and trying to hold down the three chips I ate for lunch#This shit was SO scary.#Sorry I used this as a vent#But I needed to talk about this because I know my dad won’t believe me even though he’s gonna ask#Oh yeah my mum came and picked me up btw I didn’t have to walk home in the end and Mrs asshole had to stay after for fifteen minutes
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Everyday at 5 in the morning I get so God damn shakey, can't even draw,
#i have no clue why#but its every time#if ive been up all night im shakey#if i woke up an hour ago im shakey#if i wake ut at 5 on the dot im shakey in half an hour
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Today I got loaned out to another store and ended up working a twelve hour day with no breaks and a thirty minute lunch so needless to say I will not be volunteering for any other travel assignments regardless of whether they pay me for mileage or not.
#chit chat#and it was an hour commute there and an hour and a half home#work stuff#so fuck that#i have two more days of this but I will be taking a break every two hours and they can go fuck themselves if they're mad#oh and on TOP of that#the fucking district manager was there in the break room the entire time#so i couldn't even have my half hour lunch in peace because mr. bitchass was there#i woke up at 3am for this and i didn't even get home earlier than normal#and they almost dropped a 30lb string trimmer on my head from 13 ft in the air#but that's less relevant#pissed me off first thing in the morning tho ill tell you that
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I took double my usual dose of melatonin but I'm still awake. This isn't fair lol
#I can take one more if I need to but like#I should t need triple my usual dose (2.5mg) to fall asleep#what's even worse is that I didn't sleep well last night either#I woke up like every hour and a half for no good reason
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
#cascoon#it's like silcoon‚ but purple and pointy! desperately trying to remember how this one comes about. i'm gonna seem like a fake pokémon fan#i know silcoon and cascoon are both evolutions of wurmple. but i don't remember what the criteria are. is it a gender thing? hold on google#oh. it's just. some hidden personality value. so it's effectively random#y'know what. i think that's better than it being a gender thing. shoutout. but it could be considerably more interesting#maybe i'm just conditioned by the hitmonline to think that every evolution criteria has to be stupid and obscure and insane#or finizen At All#or all the stupid-ass trade evos. do not like trade evos. i do Not like trade evos! i have said this before but i will keep saying it#i just realized i called cascoon purple and pointy as though silcoon was not pointy. i'm not with it at all this morning#i just woke up‚ y'all. can you tell. can you tell i'm not sentient yet. i have to go to work in like an hour and a half and i am Not ready#anyway. i'm gonna get this guy up in the queue and dustox and then take my meds. see you guys in the dustox post#this must look so weird to y'all. since dustox is gonna be either multiple hours or a whole Day after cascoon#but i queue up two to three pokémon at once every morning to keep a good backlog in the queue in case one morning i miss it#which has happened before. it's saved my ass before. and i'm gonna need to use it at the beginning of july#sneak peek for you guys. i'll be heading out of town on june 30th to go to the other side of the country for work. so i won't be around#any posts you see from june 30th to july 4th are gonna be like super duper queued in advance. and i probably won't be able to answer asks#or anything like that. i dunno if i'll do a formal announcement bc no one will even notice but for you dear reader#who read this deep into my mile-long cascoon tags. you now know that i will be out of town from june 30th to july 4th#use this power wisely….
26 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
loveharamain
Love Haramain
japantz
Japants
chosos-mascara
you have weak wrists
amanitacurses
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊🍄𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
zoroshark
Doodle Shenanigans