#woke up from the brink of sleep to write this

[erwinsvow]

it’s right after your second or third date. rafe brings you along with him to the house party, an official outing, your first as a real couple. he’s known you as sarah’s quiet friend for the last few years, but now you’re his girlfriend, a role he thinks you’ve settled into nicely. 

it hasn’t been that long, but he can see how things are gonna go—thoughts already forming and settling in his mind about how to get you out of your shell, figure out how to be soft and gentle with you the way you want. he’s gotten pretty good at it in the month it took to win you over, but it’s more important now, feels more serious. 

you sit next to him, big eyes looking around the room, at the people snorting coke and smoking weed, and then back at rafe, drinking his beer. he would pull you into his lap but he doesn’t want to spook you, he knows you won’t like it in front of all these people. he settles for you leaning against his shoulder, an arm swung around you, pulling you in.

“havin’ fun?” you glance up at rafe, and then back down to your lap, nodding your head. he tilts your head up with his fingers. “use your words.” 

“don’t wanna lie,” you mumble, pressing your face against his arm. “can we go home soon?”

“yeah, kid. i’ll bring you home. c’mon.” rafe tries to stand but you pull on his shirt, bringing him back down to the couch with you.

“no, i wanna go home with you.”

“you wanna come to tannyhill with me? you sure?” 

rafe makes sure to look you in the eyes, trying to assess if he thinks you’re ready for that. you nod eagerly in response. you probably want to cuddle in his bed and watch videos of people making food and reviewing books on your phone together. he thinks in shock for a moment that he’s not opposed to that idea, checking his watch for the time. you have a curfew and he doesn’t need your parents hating him just yet.

“uh-huh. i’m sure.”

“and what’d you wanna do at tannyhill, hm? ‘cause i’m sick of those shitty book videos-”

“well i was thinking maybe you could tie me up.” rafe turns his head too fast, looking down at you. you’re smiling sweetly, eyes a little wide and round, seeming excited.

“huh?”

“well, i told my parents i’m sleeping over with sarah. so if we have time, can you slap me around too?”

“huh?” 

“oh.” you look disappointed. “is that too much? i’m sorry. i just thought i’d ask.”

“too much?” he repeats. he’s confused, head spinning. 

“oh, rafe, don’t worry. it’s no big deal, really. we can just watch the videos instead-”

“no. c’mon. get your ass up.” you stand, following instructions, adjusting your dress with one hand and the other resting in rafe’s grip while he guides you out of the house, back to his truck.

“are you taking me home?”

“m’taking you to tannyhill.”

“to sleep?”

“y’not gonna be sleeping for a while.” your face lights up with another smile while you climb into the passenger seat, something he thinks he should be alarmed by. sarah’s shy friend was long gone. “got any other requests?”

“a couple. but you’ll have to get props. ropes and a gag and stuff. and we should really be somewhere you can chase me down, like the woods. it’s okay, next time!” you buckle your seatbelt, turning to look at rafe with another sweet smile. 

“you little freak.” he's been underestimating you.

[angelbaby-fics]

I saw that u write for Daddy stucky x little x little Peter and it's si adorable 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Maybeeeee 🐝

Daddy stucky x little reader x little Peter where the reader is in babyspace like daipers and all the time sleepy and she just want to be in daddies arms but they need to go to the avenger tower and have a Meeting and another cg babysit the little one's but the baby reader dont understand why daddies aren’t there and just cries and petie try to comfort her and when daddies are back and daddy bucky picks her up she immediately stops crying and falls asleep and more fluff u can choose how petie would try to comfort her (he is like 6 or 7 in headspace)

Proud Of You

Word Count: 1.4k

Pairing: CG!Stucky x Little!Reader x Little!Peter (fem terms used for reader)

A/N: hello lovely anon! my requests are actually closed but………… i really liked this idea 😮 sooo i wrote it anyways!! i really really love big brother peter 🥺 and i tried to make this as fluffy as can be! enjoy 💕

It was the dreamiest afternoon, a heavy blanket of clouds pushing away the last sunrays of summer as autumn made itself known. As you napped in your crib, Peter and Bucky were enjoying a movie on tv, curled up on the big couch in the living room. Steve had left on an errand to the grocery store, suddenly inspired by the overcast weather to cook a cozy meal for his family. A scented candle on the shelf in the corner filled the room with warmth, and Bucky took deep breaths as he stroked Peter’s hair, filing away this perfect moment in his mind to look back on whenever he needed to remember just how safe his life was now. He tried to ignore the phone buzzing in his pocket, silently cursing whoever was trying to disturb his heaven, but when the notifications continued to flood in, he reluctantly answered the call.

Peter sat up as Bucky maneuvered to retrieve his phone, the sudden movement of his favorite pillow pulling the kiddo from the brink of an unplanned nap. Peter looked up at his Baba as he answered the phone, furrowing his brows as Bucky sighed. On the other end, Steve lightly chided his husband for not answering sooner, before letting him know that he was currently stranded at the store, the family car unresponsive in the parking lot. Bucky reassured Steve that he’d be right there, running a tired hand over his face as he hung up the phone and picked up the baby monitor that showed your nursery. The video showed you still fast asleep in your crib, pacifier half fallen out of your mouth. Mentally calculating the time it would take to reach the store and back, Bucky decided it wasn’t worth disturbing your nap for an errand that would hopefully be over before you even woke up to notice he was gone.

“What’s wrong, Baba?” Peter spoke up. There was anxiety in his voice, but not very much; he could tell it must not be an emergency if Bucky was so calm.

“Daddy’s car broke and I have to go pick him up from the store.” Bucky tried not to sound too annoyed.

“Can I come?” Peter asked eagerly, but Bucky shook his head.

“Not this time, pumpkin. I need you to be a big boy and take care of the house while I’m gone. Don’t answer the door for anyone and try not to wake up your sister, okay baby?”

Peter nodded enthusiastically, thrilled to be assigned a mission - even if that mission was just to stay put on the couch and not get into trouble.

With a kiss to the top of the spider boy’s head, Bucky was out the door, wanting more than anything to get this done as quickly as possible. Peter stared at the door for what felt like ages after it had closed behind his Baba, counting down the minutes until his return. And then he heard your cry from the baby monitor speaker.

Your precious slumber was interrupted, your peaceful dreams morphing into a heart stopping nightmare, almost as if you could sense your Baba’s absence and your Daddy’s distress. Tossing and turning, you ripped your way out of the cocoon of sleep, letting out a choked sob as you desperately tried to rejoin the waking world. You opened your eyes into the darkness, anxiously staring at your nursery door, almost mentally willing it to burst open and your daddies to come rushing in. But when the door finally did open, it was tentative, and the figure you saw illuminated by the hall light was not who you expected.

Peter rushed towards you as soon as he saw your desperate face. He reached through the bars of your crib to hold your hand as he reassured you were safe, big brother was here and he wasn’t gonna let anything hurt you. But it was no use, you just kept thrashing and crying out.

“Daddy! Baba!!” You wailed, needing more than anything just to be wrapped in their big strong arms, protected from anything and everything that could come your way.

Peter crouched down so his face was level with yours, wanting more than anything just to comfort you.

“Daddies aren’t here right now, but it’s okay, I got you!” Peter reassured you, and although you stopped fighting and let your body calm down, your tears still didn’t stop.

“Baba…” You sobbed, your chest heaving up and down with nervous breaths.

“Can I get you out of your crib?” Peter asked, his hand already on the latch.

You nodded and Peter let down the bars of the crib, helping you down onto the carpeted floor. He held your hand all the way as he led you back to the living room, his protective heart breaking as he heard you sob behind him. He brought you to the couch and helped you onto it, making sure you were comfy and stable, knowing you were particularly small at the moment. Peter wrapped you in a plush throw blanket and grabbed the nearest stuffed animal, tucking it into the blanket with you.

“I gotta go to the kitchen, okay?” He asked, and your eyes widened. “Don’t worry, though, I’ll be right back!”

You watched him all the while he zoomed around the corner into the kitchen, never leaving your line of sight as he ran to the fridge and pulled out a premade bottle. Taking the lid off, he put it in the microwave for less than a minute, just enough to bring it around room temperature, and as an added courtesy, he even made sure to open the microwave door before it could beep too loudly.

Just as quickly as he’d rushed into the kitchen, Peter was right back by your side, climbing up onto the couch to join you. He wrapped an arm around your blanketed body, leaning you into him as he brought the lukewarm bottle to your lips. With tears still in your eyes, you drank. The warm milk filling your belly brought your mind into focus, and your breathing steadied with each sip. With the hand that wasn’t already clutched around your stuffie, you reached out to Peter, gripping his pointer finger with your whole hand. The more you calmed down, the more your brother did as well, now confident in his ability to take care of you. You weren’t even halfway through with the bottle when you heard a familiar key in the front door lock.

Your milk drunk eyes flew open, laser focused on the door as it opened to reveal your two favorite people in the whole world. Peter dropped the bottle, but you’d already forgotten about your post-nap snack, your only care in the world was getting into your daddies’ arms as quickly as possible. Your arms reached out, fingers flexing out at Steve and Bucky, desperate for them to finish bringing in the groceries, locking the door, taking off their shoes. It felt like it was taking forever.

“Well look who’s awake!” Steve’s eyes lit up at the sight of you, just about as eager as you were to have you in his arms. He relieved you from Peter’s lap, and you gripped his shirt up in your fists, burying your face into his neck and breathing in his comforting scent. Peter was left to look up at Bucky, studying his face to try and figure out what he was thinking.

“I’m sorry Baba.” He apologized preemptively, just in case Bucky was mad at your nap ending prematurely.

“Sorry about what, kiddo? You didn’t wake her up on purpose, did you?”

Peter shook his head rigorously, hoping to convey to his Baba that he’d never do that.

“Then you have nothing to be sorry for, okay baby boy? In fact, it looks like you did a pretty good job holding down the fort while we were gone. I’m so proud of you.” Bucky said, picking up Peter and joining you and Steve in the kitchen where the ingredients for that night’s special dinner were all spread out on the counter.

“Yea! Luv oo!” You chimed in, and Peter grinned the widest you’d ever seen him.

[jeannineee]

okay but Az with the somnophilia for the bingo card. i would die for that stuff

Careful

Azriel x Reader

a/n: based on this bingo card. Let me preface this by saying when I write somno, it is consented to PRIOR to occurring. I don’t write noncon lol.

Nsfw under the cut (18+ please)

The moment Azriel stepped into your bedroom, the scent of your arousal hit him, full force.

But you were asleep, wearing only his shirt. The hem was lifted just enough to expose a bit of your ass to him. Your gentle breathing filled the room, mixed with the occasional breathy moan.

“Oh…Azriel…”

The words made Azriel’s cock twitch in his pants. He quickly slipped off his clothing, carefully climbing above your sleeping form. He slowly, gently turned you onto your back. You rustled a bit, but didn’t wake.

Azriel lifted the shirt, until your breasts were exposed to him. Your nipples hardened as the cool air hit them, and his mouth watered at the sight. He ran his hands over your breasts, down your stomach, over your hips.

Another soft moan fell from you, and Azriel couldn’t help himself from running a single finger through your slick folds.

“So fucking wet,” he cursed, teasing his finger at your entrance.

Your breath hitched, and for a moment, Azriel thought you’d wake. You didn’t though, and he slid his finger into you, a low growl crawling up his throat as you immediately tightened around him. He worked you slowly, savoring the wet noises that filled the room with each pump of his finger.

He wasted no time in adding a second finger, his pace still slow. “Gotta get you ready for me,” he murmured to himself. His fingers continued their work for another minute, but as those pretty whimpers of yours started echoing about the room, Azriel couldn’t take it anymore.

Azriel stroked his throbbing cock a few times as he lined himself up with your entrance. He filled you slowly, a string of curses leaving his lips as your cunt enveloped him.

“Fucking made for me,” Azriel breathed, thrusting into you gently, despite the fact that he wanted to fuck you senseless. “Squeezing my cock so tight.”

Azriel groaned as your walls fluttered around him, the noise loud enough that it woke you.

“Mmm—what—Az, what—oh!” your voice was still heavy with sleep, cheeks flushed as you realized what was happening.

“Relax, baby,” Azriel said, bringing a hand to circle your clit, his thrusts quickly growing more forceful. “Let me take care of you.”

“Azriel—fuck, Az, oh, yes, yes,” you moaned helplessly, already on the brink of release. Azriel noticed it, driving his pelvis against that spot that had you seeing stars.

You cried out, body quivering as your orgasm ripped through you. Azriel’s hand still circling your clit through the aftershocks.

“Fuck, there you go. Take it like a good girl,” Azriel said, groaning as his release spurted into you, his warmth coating your walls.

Azriel pulled out slowly, collapsing on the bed beside you. “Are you okay?” He asked, pulling you against his chest.

You nodded tiredly, nestling against him. “This was a good idea.”

[veryberryjelly]

holy crap i love your writing!! could i get a bedtime story with jj maybank and 61 + 79 please !!

congrats on 1k

jj maybank x fem!reader

prompts : " forehead to forehead " + " leans in for a small kiss, pulls away, and then turning into a full blown makeout session "

𝐉𝐎𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝟏𝐊 𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑

somehow, days spent relaxing in the sun seemed exhausting.

being out on the boat with your friends all day, dipping in and out of the water every 30 minutes, had brought you to the brink of exhaustion.

you used jj's assistance to climb out of the boat and went straight for the spare room that jj used.

whenever all of you stayed over at the chateau, you pretty much had your designated places.

pope and kiara situated themselves on the pullout bed in the living room.

sarah took residence with john b in his room.

and you always found yourself on the other side of jj's bed. so much so that you had a few things in a box under 'your side' of the bed.

nothing much, a few hairties, a bikini and a phone charger, maybe a couple of miscellaneous things,.

the only reason you didnt have it in the bedside table was for jj's sake. incase any girl came over and found all of your stuff in his room.

but you hadn't seen jj with many girls recently. he had been spending a lot of time with you and the pogues.

you hadn't spotted him chatting up any girls at parties either. it was odd, but you just brushed it off, figuring he was doing stuff on his own time.

you were too tired to think about it right now.

you went into the drawers across the room and grabbed one of jj's t-shirts to put on in place of the bikini top you had been using all day.

there were faint tan lines from the strings which brought a brief smile onto your lips.

you were interrupted by a knock on the door as you pulled the t-shirt over your head, moving to sit on the edge of the bed as the door pushed open.

" crashing in here, sunshine ?" the sound of jj's voice caused you to turn your attention towards him.

" definitely. " you replied, collapsing back against the pillow with a soft sigh.

you turned onto your side, curling up slightly into the soft fabric of the bed.

you could hear some soft rustling around the room which you assumed to be jj getting changed, but what you didn't expect was to feel themed dip on the other side, jj falling onto the mattress beside you.

your eyes fluttered open to find him laid opposite you, mirroring your position.

the sight of him across from you brought a smile onto your lips as your eyes closed again.

sleeping after a morning spent in the sun was always the best feeling. it was like the best kind of nap ever.

it was made better by the warmth you felt as you woke up, even though you were unable to see much as you opened your eyes.

you felt a warmth around your torso as you checked the time on your phone.

19 : 48.

you set it down again, turning over to your other side, only to be met with jj fast asleep behind you.

you couldnt stop yourself from lifting your hand to brush some of his hair away from his face with a soft smile.

but it seemed you just interfered with his sleep as his eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks.

you dropped your hand down to the mattress almost instantly, hoping he would just go back to sleep, though your hopes were not met.

his eyes eased open and you were met with his set of baby blues.

" sorry... didn't mean to wake you " you apologised, your voice no louder than a whisper.

" s'okay, sunshine. " he replied, his arms not moving from your torso, not even to move his hair when it dropped over his face again.

the golden locks were blocking the view of his eyes. you brushed it away as best you could, pushing it onto his head, your fingertips dragging deilcately down the edge of his face.

your knuckles grazed over his jawline before dropping down onto the mattress between the two of you.

you really weren't sure why you did that, and as embarrassment settled into your stomach, you felt a warmth on your hand.

jj lifted your hand and settled it onto the junction between his neck and jawline.

you didn't dare move it away this time, instead resting it comfortably against his cheek, your thumb moving of it's own volition, stroking against his cheekbone.

you didnt really have time to question what was happening before you felt the light pressure of jj's lips against your own.

though they disappeared as quickly as they arrived and you were left staring at eachother with an unreadable expression on either of your faces.

you decided not to think about it, or question it, and instead went back in to kiss him, with a considerable amount more passion than he gave you.

his hand dropped from holding onto your wrist to holding onto your waist and pulling you impossibly closer to him.

this was not what you had planned when you came in here to take a nap, but you had to admit it was a better turn of events.

you only pulled back when you had to breathe. and when you did you couldn't stop the smile that spread brightly across your face.

or the slight nervous giggle that slipped from your lips.

you were brought back down to the moment when a similar laugh came out across from you.

" what was that about ?" you questioned, not moving far enough from jj that you only had to speak at your quietest volume.

" been thinkin' about it for a while... you're not pissed ? "

" nah, i've been thinking about it for a while too "

his smile grew even further at your answer, dropping his head down against the pillow, your forehead pressed against his.

neither of you moved from that position, ending up falling back into a slumber.

the next thing that woke you was the sound of the door opening followed by the noise of your friends arguing about who called it.

[sinsmockingbird]

Idea came to me last night when I was on the brink of sleep. I wanted to write it but I was fucking tired. So enjoy it now, I wrote this as soon as I woke up. Pegging Stelle for the first time;

CW: Smut under the cut

Stelle will be so eager and nervous to do it when you first bring the idea up to her. She lives to please, and if you want to peg her then she's not gonna fight you- if anything she'll encourage you to do it. The idea alone of really being at your mercy like this gets her riled up in no time.

Though despite her eagerness, Stelle can't help but feel nervous for what's to come. She's never done anything like this. She's never let herself be so... exposed in this sort of way. It feels different from every other time that you've had control over her in bed, because this time you'll be having your way with her. This time she'll be the one getting filled.

She'll be lying on her back, her legs thrown over your shoulder, your hands kneading her ass before you slowly pull them apart to show off her asshole. Stelle is breathing so heavily, hands clawing at the sheets under her and her eyes blown wide. Her cock is lying against her stomach, twitching and throbbing, just begging for attention.

Then, when you begin to push your strap against her asshole, slowly spreading her open, she'll be sucking in a sharp breath, a whine falling from her lips at the pain. But soon that pain is turning into pleasure as she's filled inch by inch of your silicon cock.

You'll stop and give her time to adjust, hands easing up and down her shaking legs, before you lean forward and press you lips against hers, kissing away the tears falling from her eyes. She's whimpering and fidgeting below you, whining out through heavy breaths for you to start moving. You slowly begin to, pulling out before gently thrusting in.

Stelle will be letting out whines and moans with every movement, hands gripping at the sheets below her for some semblance of grounding. Her breaths are heavy and uneven, eyes filled with unshed tears as she's sent into an ecstacy she's never felt before. She loves feeling you filling her up, the feeling quickly becoming addicting for her.

But it's not enough. Not when her cock is throbbing so painfully against her stomach from the lack of attention on it.

"P-Please..!" It's a choked sob falling from Stelle's lips as she stares up at you pleadingly, her eyes begging for you to touch her while you fuck her ass. You give her a sweet smile, leaning forward a little to kiss her cheek affectionately, before moving a hand from her leg and down between them.

Wrapping your hand around her throbbing length will have her choking out a sob in seconds. She's arching her back, her cock leaking more precum like a faucet. She looks so beautiful like this, looks so amazing in this state of ecstasy. How can you deny her more of this pleasure?

You'll start fucking her cock into your hand, while pressing her knees against her chest. You fuck your strap harder into her, her ass clenching perfectly around you. Stelle isn't gonna be able to hold on any longer with all this pleasure, and your though is answered by her letting out a wail before she begins cumming.

Her cock is throbbing so deliciously, spasming and twitching as she begins cumming. She's coating her chest in her own cum, coating your hand. Though just because she's going through her orgasm, you don't stop fucking her ass or rubbing her cock in your hand.

The overstimulation is too much for poor Stelle, prolonging her orgasm and making her cock squirt a few more smaller ropes of cum. Tears are streaming down her face, bottom lip quivering and bleeding from how deep she was biting into it. Small sniffles and whimpers are all she's making, and even as you slow down and come to a stop.

Raising your free hand you wipe away her tears, whispering soft praises to her that has Stelle choking out a sob of happiness. She did so good for you, you know you'll have to reward her. So you whisper a promise to her that when she recovers she can have her way with you for however long she wants.

The promise has Stelle excited again, but first she just wants you in her arms. And after you pull your strap out of her and discard it, you willingly let her cling to you, nuzzling her face into her neck.

Run a hand through her hair, continue telling her praises, because Stelle is just gonna want this to happen all over again.

[pyr0-kai]

Scars.

Mike Schmidt x reader

Movie spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet ‼️‼️

Angsty, a hint of injury/scars, a bit of fluff, and bad writing and mike might be a little ooc? Let me know your opinions :)

This song was my inspo as well

You had known mike for awhile before the whole Freddy’s Pizzeria incident. You had met him as a security guard at the local mall, before he got fired for beating up someone in the fountain. He had mentioned needing a babysitter to watch his sister, as he got a new, and somewhat suspicious nightshift job. You were happy to help, as you only lived a few houses down from his.

Mike has always been a closed off person, but he seemed to be opening up a bit towards you. Simple things such as having you stay a little while after he comes home, or inviting you to eat dinner together as the 3 of you, or joining you and Abby to watch cartoons after school. It seemed to make him happier to see you with his sister, and being comfortable at his home.

You we’re often worried though, when he came home with bandages on him, or blood marks on his shirt. Abby would be deep into sleep when he came home. You would ask him how work was, and he would just mumble something incoherently. He tried to hide the damage from you. When you asked if he was okay, or tried to help him with the blood on his arms at times, he would thank you for watching his sister, mumble a goodbye then turn and shut himself in his bedroom.

It was awkward, but you understand thats part of how he was. The most confusing part though, is how he used to often lounge around in sweats and a t-shirt. Especially when it was hot outside, his house having little to no AC. But now it seemed like he was always wearing long sleeve shirts or coats inside, especially around you. This was concerning as it was summer, the sun blazing and hot. You could see the sweat beeding all over his little exposed skin.

One day though, you finally asked what was up, worrying he could get heatstroke or something, especially as the temperature only seemed to increase outside. He only seemed to brush you off.

“I’m fine [Y/N].”

“Mike, you’re drenched in sweat… what’s making you act like this??”

“Nothing.”

Then he just huffed, walking into his room and shutting the door, not before you put your foot in the doorway before it fully shut. Mike was sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from the door, hoodie thrown on the floor, and he was looking down, head in his hands*

You shut the door before stepping cautiously towards him, hearing slight, sniffling? You walked over and sat next to him on the bed, trying to get him to look at you.

“Mike, sweetheart, what’s wrong? I’m just trying to help” you ask, cautiously.

He finally drops his arms onto his knees, and turns his head towards you, his various scars and gashes from the animatronics at Freddy’s.

“I’m sorry [Y/N] I just feel like a freak, and I don’t want to scare you away. I don’t think you’ll believe me. Its that place… Freddy’s. I have had nightmares there… then woke with these nasty gashes.” he says, sniffing and on the brink of tears.

Wordlessly, you pull him into a tight hug, rubbing his back before speaking.

“Hey… its okay, It’s nothing that would scare me… I believe you. I’d call those battles scars… you fought, and you survived. Abby, Vanessa and I are all so proud of you”

You pull back from the hug, and gently take his arm in your hand and kiss the scar softly, then taking his other arm and doing the same. Mike looks at you shocked, and turns to make eye contact with you. Then he pulls you close and sobs into your shoulder for a while before pulling back and speaking.

“T-thank you… I needed to hear that… I just… I’m so tired and hurt… I just. Don’t want you to think I’m crazy, like most people think”

Your heart breaks at his words. You just hold him as he lets out his sobs. After a minute or two, he starts to calm down

“Hey, You’re not crazy. I can understand. You’re strong, and you work so hard, for Abby, for yourself. She really loves you.”

a quiet pause floats between you two for a beat, before you speak again.

“Would you want to lay down with me for a bit?”

He sniffles and responds

“Y-yeah… please…”

You adjust and roll to lay on your back, motioning for Mike to lay with you. He wipes his face with his hand and flops down next to you, putting his head on your chest.

“Is this okay?” He asks.

“Yes” you reply.

You two lay there together, as he slowly falls asleep next to you. Then you kiss his forehead gently, close your eyes and whisper.

“I love you…”

Little did you know, he wasn’t full asleep yet and he smiled, knowing deep down he loves you too…

[madisonwritesstuff]

Hi!!! This is my first time ever requesting here on tumblr lol and I managed to stumble across your fic about Hannibal and Muslim reader! It was nice to read a fic about it since there’s so little fics with Muslim readers 😭😭 anyway, I was wondering if you could write another one with Muslim reader, but this time she DOES wear the hijab and how Hannibal and maybe Will might react to her being a doctor and agent while being maybe 28 or so. (You don’t have to separate it into two, maybe jsut one about them being friends (like a trio) and if they’d be curious about her religion and what not)

Thank you so much and hope your having an amazing week 🤧🤧

★ ; she deserves it. -------------------

Hannibal Lecter x Fem! Reader x Will Graham.

I hope this is an accurate representation of muslims! lmk if smth is off and have fun reading :3

Tags ; Fluff, besties with will n hanni, trio goals, islamophobia tw, platonically protective hannibal n will :3, subtle hints at hannibal being the chesapeake ripper, yandere-ish will and hanni, but mostly it's supposed to be platonic 💀.

You fixed your hijab and made sure your hair was neatly tucked underneath, before exiting the women's bathroom and making your way to your patients ward.

He had called you there earlier with a few other people to interrogate one of the rippers victims, and one of your patients. Somehow she had survived, while on the brink of death you were able to resuscitate her.

You walked into the ward, it was a private ward specialised for Jessie herself, which was your patients name.

Will and Hannibal seemed to turn around at the same time at the sound of the door opening, you gave them both a faint smile as you walked up to them both. “How is she?”

“Unconscious.” Hannibal spoke up. “But didn't one of the nurses say she woke up from her coma over a week ago?” Will spoke up, looking between Hannibal and you.

“Yeah no, she did wake up. She's probably just asleep. Which is also weird since that's not up to her sleep schedule. I've been documenting.” You mentioned, right then she started stirring awake.

“Speak of the devil.” Hannibal mumbled as you three watched her open her eyes and blink a few times before sitting up and staring at you three. “Who...?” She spoke up. “Jessie Freeman, right? I'm Y/N L/N, your assigned doctor. This is Will Graham, an FBI agent. And Hannibal Lecter.” I spoke up, motioning to them. Will gave a little wave while Hannibal nodded his head in acknowledgement.

“You're... My assigned doctor?” She spoke up scanning you up and down. “Yes, I assure you I'm the most skilled doctor in the facility.“ You smiled, trying to ease her worries. “No I'm not worried about that it's just... You're...” She trailed off, staring at you.

You were confused as to what she was talking about, but Will caught on, looking over at Hannibal who gave him a look which said „Did she really just say that?„ And Will shrugged back, raising an eyebrow as he stared at Jessie.

“I'm what? I'm sorry if you could clarify it would be a great help.” You smiled politely, trying to be as kind and understanding as possible. “You're a Muslim, aren't you? Look, I don't mean to be rude but I'm really uncomfortable around your kind of people and would just appreciate it if you could assign me a new doctor?”

You stared at her in shock and Hannibal almost regretted not finishing her off earlier. But he'd have more of a reason to now.

You were silent for a second. “Excuse me?” You raised an eyebrow. “You heard me clearly Dr. L/N. I don't like that thing you wear on your head either, it makes you look stupid.” You stared at her with wide eyes, not expecting her to insult you that far. “If you want to be a true woman at least take that stupid towel off your head.”

You walked up to her in fury. “Listen to me, you have no right to speak to me like that. If I wanted to I literally could cut off your life support. You're an incompetent being that has no brain and thoughts other than to insult people who have done NOTHING to you!” You yelled at her in anger, she was surprised to see you arguing back. “Well- I-i Fuck you! You're a terrorist! You're arguing like one too! How dare you threaten to kill me! You murderer!” She screamed and lunged at you, ripping your hijab off.

“Alright, that's enough.” Will spoke up before punching her square in the face, hard enough to knock her out. You were too horrified by the fact this woman just took your hijab off infront of two men to even think about yelling at Will about what he just did. You felt tears swell up as you hurriedly grabbed the scarf from the ground and covered your head, sniffling. Hannibal and Will immediately noticed and turned around, simultaneously.

After you were done you let out a sob. “I... I can't believe she did that.” You whispered, which prompted Hannibal to walk over to you and hug you, letting you sob into his shoulder as he pat your back in a soothing motion. “It's alright. It wasn't your fault. Some people are just born to be... Rude. Rude people get dealt with sooner or later.” He spoke as he stared at the blood seeping from Jessie's nose.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better I promise I didn't see anything, but I wasn't expecting that either.” Will spoke up tried to comfort you while you sniffled. “Sniff, thanks for um, turning around when I was fixing my hijab. I'm- I'm sorry about crying I just-”

“Hey hey hey, there's no need to apologize, if anyone has to apologize it should be her, not you. Alright? None of this was your fault, you can't blame yourself for crying.” Will retorted, and now it was his turn to hug you.

“I think you should go home now.” Hannibal spoke up from behind. “Will, take her home, I need to stay behind.” He spoke as he glanced at Jessie's unconscious body.

“Alright, you alright now Y/N?” Will asked with a worried expression. “Yeah I'm- I'm alright now, I just wanna go home.” You spoke up with a faint smile. Will escorted you outside the ward.

———

“-Jessie Freeman, found dead in her hospital bed. Investigators say she was cut open while still conscious and burned to death whie still being conscious.”

You stared at the news on the TV in shock, you couldn't save a ripper victim after all. But was it such a bad thing? She deserved it.

No, what are you even thinking about? She was still a living being. Going through that was worse than what you went. Was it? It doesn't matter.

What matters is that she's gone, whether she leaves alive or dead.

But are you happy with that outcome?

all rights reserved to © madisonwritesstuff , please do not copy, repost on other platforms, translate, or modify my works without my permission.

[geekywritings]

Don’t leave me

I usually don’t add it, but I kinda felt like writing some angst.

So have Cal x reader, where you worry that Cal might die. But no worries, there is a happy end!

___

Sobs were wrecking through your body, as you desperately tore at Cal’s vest and shirt to get to the damn blaster wound at his side. Too much blood, you realized, panic rising even higher, as you willed your body to function.

As a medic, you had seen all kinds of wounds and injuries. You had brought people back from the brink of death without losing focus. But this was different. This was the man you loved slipping away right beneath your hands.

“Another stim, BD!”, you called, and the little droid obeyed instantly.

The third one already, keeping him alive, while you tried to stave the bleeding. You had already used up whatever bandages you always carried on yourself and had resorted to tearing at your own shirt for more material.

“Y/N…” In your panic you had almost missed what barely qualified as a whisper coming from him. He was conscious! That was an improvement, though moreso for you than for him, as the pain seemed to hit him instantly.

“Shhh, lie still. I got you.”, you spoke, trying to sound calm and soothing, as you tightened the bandage around his torso, feeling the groan he gave deep in your soul.

“I… want to… see you… one…last…”

“NO! Die with whoever comes after me, Cal! You do not leave me! Not now! And not like this!”, you yelled, refusing to let this become your final goodbye.

“After you?”, his voice was so quiet. But the fact that he was able to speak at all gave you hope. “Nobody…ever…could…”

“Then even more reason for you not to die here.”, you continued, now taking care of the other blaster wound in his shoulder, which was bleeding equally badly. “Because I have every intention of growing old with you, you hear me? You and I are gonna spend our final days in some nice house by a lake, looking at holos of our children and grandchildren.”

“Is that… what…you…want?”

“I haven’t wanted anything else since you told me you loved me, Cal…” Why did you suddenly feel like crying? Deep down you knew. If the Mantis didn’t pick you up soon, giving you access to the rest of your medical equipment, you would lose him…

“Sounds…nice…”

“Another stim, BD!” The droid opened his compartment, revealing the very last he carried and you swallowed. You had to time it right or it would all have been for nothing. His heartbeat was so slow… his breathing so faint… and he was undoubtedly in a lot of pain…

But Cal was also fighting. You’ve seen enough patients in his state. Those, who had given up would fade quickly. But your experience also told you that a will to fight wasn’t always enough. Even a Jedi aided by the Force could not overcome too much blood loss…

Suddenly you heard it. An incoming message with Greez’s familiar voice. A huge relief washed over you and you injected the last stim quickly, before getting everything ready to dock your stolen vessel to the Mantis.

Once on the ship, you’d be able to treat him properly. At least until you reached a proper medical unit in one of the secret rebel bases.

“Hang in there just a little longer, Cal. Don’t leave me.”, you urged, as the crew came in to help you move him.

A few days later, you woke up from a restless nap at a table in the medical unit. Bacta tanks were rare, but the rebellion had managed to secure a handful. A fact that you were more than grateful for. Day in and day out you spent by Cal’s side, waiting and worrying. The crew would bring you food, but you ate just enough to stay awake a little longer.

On the third day, fatigue had taken over and you had fallen asleep at the table, Cal’s vitals still flashing on the screen before you. He was stable now, with a high chance of recovery. Yet you still refused to move. You wanted to be there when he woke up properly…

Yet in your sleep you missed exactly that moment. It was someone else from the medical unit that came in and moved the recovering Jedi to a bed for a check-up and more rest.

Waking up and not finding him there… you feared the worst at first. Only to be assured by the first person you ran into that everything was well.

“There you are.”, he greeted you, voice still weak and eyes barely open, when you entered his room.

“How are you feeling?”, you asked, instantly taking a seat by his side.

“Probably better rested than you.” Ah, humor again. It meant good things and you managed a tired smile.

“What planet?”

The question confused you and you gave him a quizzical look.

“The house you spoke of… What planet should we build it on?”

He still remembered that. “Naboo would be nice… or Koboh… but I am open to suggestions.”, you indulged him.

“Sounds nice… What about names for the kids? Any ideas there?”

You laughed, while tears brimmed in your eyes at the same time. “Plenty…”

A trembling hand came to your face, wiping the first tear that had dared to travel over your cheek. “I thought of nothing else… that future you planned for us… it’s what kept me alive….”

More tears now, as you placed a hand over his. “Will you stop fighting now?”

He nodded slowly. “I guess I found my place in the galaxy… and it’s next to you.”

It was time for a peaceful life. For both of you.

[fakesimp]

Hello!!! Can you do any angst/comfort with Shu or Mysta? I'm craving for comfort (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠), Also welcome back (if you were gone?) [Sorry for my poor english!!(⁠´⁠;⁠︵⁠;⁠`⁠)]

"Come, and rest with me.." , With Shu Yamino , Mysta Rias

Warning !

Fluff ; Hurt/Comfort ; Mentions of Kissing ; Mentions of Overworking ; Established Relationship

A/n !

Why choose one when I can do both--. Also, Apologies in advance if Mysta's ooc ! I tried my best to write for him (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

And thank you for the welcome back ! Haha, I was taking a little break due to my writing block i had.

And worry not ! I understand you very well anon <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

➶◜◝➴

Shu Yamino

He, himself is already have a pretty messed up sleeping schedule. He doesn't want his lover also following his steps, but as much as he wants to tell you to rest, he often end up reflecting upon himself. It made him frowned for a moment, and because of that it took him quite awhile for him to finally confront you about your state, he is worried about you and your health after all.

He have seen you working through late nights, and barely getting any brink of sleep, there are also time when you didn't go to sleep at all. And it made him worry about you much more, even concerned. He had been trying to confront you about it, but he doesn't know how to say it without sounding rude. It took him almost a few days to courage himself to finally spoke up to you about it.

And today is the day,

He knocked on your door, you were working on some papers on the table. "Babe??" He called out behind the door, "Yeah?" You replied a bit loud. Face still on the paper in front you, you then heard the door getting twisted gently by the hand of your Beloved Sorcerer.

"Hey, babe.. You're still not done?" He slowly approached you, "It's, pretty late y'know.." he said as he look at the clock on the wall in your room. After he mentioned it, you also look over at the clock. That tells you it's already, 2 am.

You blinked and look down on the messy papers that's spread out on the floor, "It's, that, late already??" You said not realizing how late it is. "Hmm, I, need to finish this in a bit. You can--" "Babe, I don't want to sound rude, but, y'know, i noticed you have barely take enough sleep" he cuts you off in the middle of your sentence, you stared at him in awe.

"I know I, have a pretty messy sleeping schedule myself, but I am willing to fix it. Together, y'know?" He shyly said as he unconsciously fiddling with his hands before scratching the back of his neck sheepishly, "Shu.." you whispered and slowly stood up and approached him.

You wrapped your arms around him, you feel bad about not taking care of yourself properly, you also feel bad for not being able to take care of him too.

Both of you are in a messy state, and you know very well that both of you need to fix this.

"So, babe.. Come, and rest with me.."

His gentle hands moved to your cheek, gently rubbing his thumb along. Smiling down at you, he leaned and kisses you on the lips. "Well?" He whispered, expecting an answer from you.

What will you say to this unintentionally pleading Sorcerer?

You won't decline his request do you?

Mysta Rias

"You can go first Mysta, I'll join you later"

That's what you said, and he actually did go to bed first, expecting you to be there when he woke up either in the morning or in the middle of the night. Seeing your figure sleeping peacefully next to him, oh, how wrong he was.

Later that night, He woke up, only to see an empty side of the bed. He expected you to lay there with him, but no. You're not there, he groggily grabbed his phone and check the time. "What the.." his brows furrowed as he stare at the time on his phone for another minute, he then frowned, staring at the ceiling before letting out a small sigh.

He slowly rise up from the bed and went to where he could think where you're at, and you're exactly at where he expected you to be. He opened the door, and leaned against the door frame, staring at you in silence. "How, long are you going to sit there?" He announced himself by asking the question, making you slightly jump from your seat, "I thought you're going to join me a few hours ago." He continued as he slowly approached you.

"You know you can continue it in the morning right," he trailed off as he look over to see what you're working at, "I also noticed how you've barely getting any sleep nowadays babe." He continued as he look at you, worried. "You need a rest too, come on now." He said as he gently pull your hand, "Come, and rest with me.."

You sighed in defeat, he's right, you have been putting up all nighters the past few days trying to finish the work. You've barely getting any sleep, and you can bet yourself the moment your head hit the pillow you're going to pass out.

"Babe?" He called you as he held your hand a bit tighter, you can hear the worry in his voice, "Yeah, sorry-" you trailed off, "I'm sorry, for, making you worried." You apologized, making him slightly taken aback by it. "Why are you apologizing, there's nothing for you to apologize for.." he said as he then slowly wrapping his arms around you, you both stayed like that for a while before he decided to pull away.

He look at you for a moment, and then within seconds he pecked your lips, he immediately look away, flustered at what he just did. "N-now come on, let's go to bed"

You chuckled softly and walked together with him to your shared bedroom, "Cutie" "Shush.."

What a cute detective you have..

©fakesimp . 2023

A/n !

Here you go ! Hope you like this ! I tried writing for Mysta, I don't know if that's good enough-

But i hope you enjoy this anon (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

[hoesplay]

can you write a kunigami request where he’s soft, sleepyand clingy for his girl’s attention?

𝕊𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕡𝕪 𝕂𝕦𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕒𝕞𝕚

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 :) 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘯

ɪ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ ᴅʀᴀᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴇ, ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴜꜱʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ ɪᴛ

ｗｏｒｄ ｃｏｕｎｔ： ８８８ ｇｅｎｒｅ： ｆｌｕｆｆ

Sometimes, days last longer than 24 hours. Kunigami felt that when he finally entered the house, closing the door behind him and crouching to take his shoes off. The exhaustion hit him like a truck, making him let out a long sigh. He hoped that in some way, it would call for you, and you would be coming with a little smile and sleepy eyes to lure him to bed. The thought itself was very tempting, so he dragged his feet in search for you, when there was no answer to his greetings.

He didn’t have to search for long. You already made yourself cozy under the blankets surrounded by way more pillows than you needed. You looked inviting with the steady motions of your calm breathing, a halo around your head made out of your hair and a serene expression. With the tiny fog that lashed his eyes, you might as well be an angel that dropped by to show him heaven. He leaned against the door frame, taking in your sleeping figure. He was happy you chose the bed instead of the couch, where other nights he would find you in a crooked position, waiting for his arrival. He always scolded you for torturing your poor spine like that, before picking you up to move you to the comfort of the mattress.

He laughed lightly, ripping himself from the doorframe with droopy eyes. He couldn’t nag you if he skipped his nightly routine, so he proceeded to the bathroom with heavy legs to do his usual tasks. It took longer than needed to wash his body, brush his teeth, put his clothes in the laundry. 10 minutes that felt like 10 thousand. Satisfied with his small achievement, Kunigami made his way back to the bedroom. You didn’t move an inch, still somehow occupying ¾ of the bed. He almost felt bad to move you aside, so he set on the margin of the bed, thinking how to proceed with his actions. The moment he laid on his back, bed dipping with his weight, you shifted in your slumber turning to the side.

Your back was facing him now. With your nape exposed, he couldn’t resist the urge to trace it, before placing a little kiss there. You hummed, as if greeting him. Even lost in your dreams you were so reactive to his touch. At this, Kunigami brought himself closer to you, dropping his arm around your waist and nuzzling the back of your neck. He was hoping you were dreaming about him. The sensation of your unusually clingy boyfriend woke you up.

“Sorry.” He mumbled half-asleep, sound muffled against your neck. You turned in his arms, brushing his bangs before peppering his forehead with kisses. “Did you brush your teeth?”, he asked in his daze. If you weren’t so tired, you would have burst out laughing. Even on the brink of dozing off he still sports the motherly behavior. “What will you do if I didn’t?” your teasing didn’t seem to affect him in any way. “I’ll come with you so you can brush your teeth.”, he hummed with his forehead resting on your shoulder, ghostly kneading at your waist. It got quite for a moment. Kunigami enjoyed nights like these the most. He felt oddly safe with your chin resting on the crown of his head, like there was nothing mean in this world. He relaxed like he was embraced by a goddess, receiving her blessings.

Your legs bent to rest on him, cold as always, seeking for warmth. “Did you wait long?”, his voice was raspy. You shook your head, basking in the heat that his body was emanating. You almost didn’t want to go back to sleep with your boyfriend cuddled against you. It was a rare sight to have him so eagerly seeking for your touch, for some comfort to lull him to dream land. The moment didn’t last long since nature was calling. You sat up, making a beeline to the toilet, walking with your eyes as closed as possible to not shake up the sleepiness. Kunigami stood on his elbow, confused by your actions. Getting out of bed, he met you in the doorway.

“What are you doing, Ren?”, you were equally as confused as him.

“I didn’t know where you were going.”, his reasoning made no sense.

“I went to brush my teeth.”, you laughed a little at your little lie. He didn’t process the joke, but all the more reason for you to tease him tomorrow.

“Let’s get back in bed.”, he said, tugging at you sleeve for you to follow him. Plopping on the mattress, you stretched a little before relaxing under the covers. Kunigami took the opportunity to drop himself over your form, action met by your protesting groan. He adjusted his position so that he wouldn’t asphyxiate you, head nuzzling in the side of your neck with his muscular leg trapping you underneath. You sighed, resisting the urge to have your little payback and tell him how crooked his spine must be.  

“You’re really adorable right now, Ren.”, your compliment was met with silence and with steady breaths. With this, you closed your eyes to catch some z’s, thinking about what face he will make tomorrow, when you will tell him the same remark.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ! ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏ ꜱᴜɢɢᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏʀ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴛʀᴜᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄɪꜱᴍ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴛᴏ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴ :)

[fe-fictions]

I miss the claude pregnapping fic sm I’d love to revisit it if u have it still to repost. Love ur writing it’s sooo goood

(Ahhh thank you so much!!! ;; U ;; )

No one had ever seen Claude in a state of pure angst.

They had seen him upset, when the professor had been lost. They’d seen him angry, afraid, and worried throughout the war even when he hid it. They saw him in grief, saw him mourn… but it was nothing like this.

They had never seen a man struggling to cope with his pregnant wife’s disappearance.

It happened in the dead of night. You went to the chapel, unable to sleep. Claude woke with the intent to follow, but was a bit tired to follow. That was his fatal mistake; He didn’t go right away. Maybe if he had, he would have been with you; not in the hall when the chapel was desecrated. Where he could only listen to your screams through the door.

The stained glass shattered so violently he heard it meters away. He was sprinting in a split second, crashing against the doors. Locked.

The doors were locked.

He heard voices, he heard you struggling against them. He was throwing himself against the door, his bow nowhere close by. He was a fool.

“BYLETH!!”

The noise he was making, coupled with whatever violence was happening within the chapel, soon drew the attention of the guards. Seteth was in a frenzy, breaking down the doors before they made it inside. By then, it was far too late.

You were gone. 

Claude fell to his knees, shaken by what he was looking at. An empty chapel, torn asunder and covered in broken glass and marble. What had happened? Who hurt you? Where in the hells did you go?

There would be no more sleep. Not for several days. 

Claude was in unspeakable distress, taking every shred of evidence they could pick up, trying to find your captors. Find where they’d taken you. Seventeen nights in a row, he had ridden the skies on his wyvern, searching for some sort of hideaway that they could have locked you up in. 

You were only three months pregnant… not enough for anyone to know what you were. Not enough for anyone to be told, save for Claude and maybe Marianne or Lysithea. 

Seteth had suspected as much, and when Claude told him one raw, horrible night after your kidnapping… Seteth found little rest, himself.

The Archbishop was missing. The king’s family was on the line.

It was no wonder Claude was on the brink of madness.

He couldn’t imagine how horrible you must have been feeling. To be abandoned and alone, with no hope or assurance that you would be safe… to be pregnant and wondering if your child would survive with you…

Gods, gods, gods–

“Claude?”

He was barely able to pull his head up from the ashes of his anxiety.

“Lysith… Lysithea.” He croaked, releasing his hair that he had been clutching painfully tight. “Did you find something?”

“No, no- I heard your voice. You were… whimpering.”

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, but they quickly narrowed as he looked away. He scoffed, “Was I really being that loud?”

“No. But it was enough I thought you were cursed or hexed or… something.”

“Sorry. You shouldn’t have heard that, or… seen me like that.” 

“Claude, your wife was taken in the middle of the night. You have every right to be like that.”

“She was taken weeks ago.”

“And we’ve been searching for weeks.” She reminded him coolly, stepping into his office and shutting the door behind her. “We’re certain to have a lock on her in the coming days. Seteth’s been running the scouts ragged, and those wyverns have an excellent sense of smell. They’ll hone in on her scent and we’ll recover her in no time.”

“Hey, Ly? Did you ever think that… if wyverns are so good at tracking… there’s a reason we haven’t found Byleth by now?”

“You can’t think like that-”

“What am I supposed to think?” Claude rose from his seat, nearly knocking the chair over. “She’s out there, alone and scared… she’s pregnant, and we don’t even know if we’ll get to see the kid, o-or if either of them will make it out alive, or if they’re even anywhere we can find them, or-”

“Claude,” She hurried forward, seeing the tears spilling down his cheeks before he realized it was happening. “Claude… oh, Claude.”

“I-” He hiccupped, spitting a curse as he crumbled. “I’m sorry. I can’t be- Byleth doesn’t need this. She needs me to work, to help her-” 

“Claude, you’re scared. You’re worried and afraid, and you’re allowed to feel those things. You’re allowed to cry. You can’t hold all of this in.”

“No, I have to.” He shook his head, piecing together what little resolve he had left. “I Have to I’ll cry when she’s back home. I can’t waste time being all emotional when she probably doesn’t even have that luxury, or…”

“Please.” She whispered, drawing him into her arms. For a moment, he didn’t move. He imagined if it had been your warmth enveloping him. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt so terribly broken.

It was when he wondered if he’d ever get to hold you again that the dam broke.

Lysithea wouldn’t forget the feeling of a friend shattered in her arms, of comforting a frightened king.a man who loved his wife beyond all comprehension.

A man who loved a woman so much he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.

It was that thought, the realization that he absolutely needed to stay beside you, that pulled him from his misery.  It was the only thing that pushed him hard enough to keep it together, as long as he could.

He leaned on Hilda and Lysithea for support then, as everyone continued their tireless push to pinpoint your location.

But it would be weeks still before they finally did.

Claude was never one to abandon hope. He didn’t admit to his feelings of fear or loss, even when the thirtieth day passed.

It was the thirty-second day that Hilda barged into the war room, breathlessly announcing that they did it.

They had a lead.

One of the wyvern riders had been able to track a trail that had been left by the scent of blood. A small stain of it that had been found in the chapel all those weeks before. 

The rider followed it fining the scent stopped in the mountains several days’ flight from the monastery. But it was there.

Without a doubt, the rider informed them personally as Claude rasped his shoulders, there were people there, hiding out in a secret long lost castle.

One that was small, easily concealed in the bitter cold, and flanked by a number of wyverns that didn’t belong to any ally.

Claude nearly rallied the troops for war then and there. They found you.

King Dimitri of Faerghus naturally allied immediately, ready to help Claude raze whatever villainous strongholds they still had. Anything to bring you back home.

His wyvern flew with a strange new strength, sending him careening through the sky at a velocity the naked eye barely registered. His forces moved quickly behind him, and Claude’s bow was at the ready, taking aim as they neared your location.

The snow made it difficult to see, but that didn’t slow him down. His eyes were like that of a hawk’s, zeroing in on the thought-to-be abandoned castle after days of traveling the skies.

The plan was simple. Hilda and Raphael would be tasked with securing the exits, while Ignatz identified any possible secret entrances or trapdoors they might attempt to escape from (and potentially take you with them). 

Claude, considering he was a hard target to miss (and at this point in time, not one for stealth in favor of decimating those who would take his wife), would lead the front lines.

He had the decency to wait until the more covert operators were in position before he unleashed a rain of arrows with his accompanying wyvern riders.

Seteth dropped first after the volley, cutting through waves of soldiers with Flayn secured behind him once you were found and ready for medical treatment.

Claude was counting on Flayn most of all, at this point; though Seteth’s blind rage certainly helped.

He circled the skies a few minutes longer, helping to eliminate snipers and magicians so they could safely land. 

His wyvern’s claws barely touched the castle’s floor before he leapt from its back, making a break for the entrance and drawing his sword.

They didn’t stand a chance.

The Ones Who Slither that had the audacity to capture the queen, his queen, had never seen anything like it. 

A man whose wife and child were on the line was little more than a demon in the throes of blood-wrath. 

Claude simply wasn’t having it.

The main floor was cleared of the dastards, and shortly after, Hilda and Raphael emerged from the basement. You weren’t being held underground. Most likely, you were in one of the towers. 

“Everyone, split up! Take every tower, every upper level- move in groups of three, and make sure you have a healer with you! If you find her light a black flare and send for me immediately!! I’ll do the same. Now, move!!”

Claude took Seteth and Flayn with him, the three practically barreling through the castle and breaking down every door they could find. 

They wound their way up the southwestern tower, but to their dismay, every corridor attached to its steps was empty. 

Claude had taken to smashing down the doors just to blow off some anxiety-packed steam.

A red flare was launched from the northwest. You weren’t on that end. Claude broke into another room, his voice thick as he called for you. 

Another red flare from the northeast. Claude swallowed a curse, leading Seteth and Flayn down another hallway. A trail of shattered splinters were left behind them, their options thinning. 

Seteth caught the flare behind them, to the southeast tower. This was it.

You had to be here.

Claude bit back a frustrated growl when the penultimate door revealed yet another empty room. 

Nothing but snow and ice filled the place, the biting cold seeping into his blood and filling him with dread. 

He rushed for the final door, drawing the sword over his shoulder. This was it.

What if you weren’t there?

Had they already taken you? 

Did they spot the army before they could attack, and gotten you out? Was that battle just a diversion? 

Did he really lose you again?

“DAMN YOU!!” He roared at no one in particular; his fears, perhaps. The sword came down on the old wood like a crack of thunder, decimating it with no mercy. 

He crossed the threshold, panting like a rabid animal. He searched the room with wild eyes, the sword gripped so tightly his hand bled. 

“Byleth… dammit, Byleth-!!”

“…Claude?”

His breath hitched.

Claude started, following the quiet call of his name. He knew that voice. He knew that shock of light hair, the wide, tired eyes that stared at him from the dark corner of the room. 

There, huddled in a musty old blanket and shivering terribly…

The sword clattered to the floor. 

“Oh, my gods.”

It was you.

“Lady Byleth!” Seteth exclaimed, but Claude was ten steps ahead. 

Rather, he was sprinting, crossing the room and kneeling down in front of you, grasping your shoulders painfully tight.

“Byleth- Byleth, is it… is it really you?”

“C-Claude…” You whispered his name, again. He felt you under his fingers, your body colder than it should have been. He breathed out a broken laugh, his eyes filling with tears that blurred his vision just as they did with your own. “I-I-I thought… I t-thought it was o-over…”

“Goddess, no. No, no, no.” He shook his head and gulped down his emotions, long enough to cup your face and try to wipe away your own tears. “There’s no way in all Hells I was gonna let you go. I didn’t let myself think for a second that I could truly lose you.”

He heard Seteth say something behind him, and Flayn’s tittering laughter, but… it was little more than noise in the background. 

Claude’s hands fell from your face to your arms, drawing you into his chest and engulfing you in a crushing embrace. 

You buried your face in his neck, soaking up as much heat as you could from your dearest husband. 

“I-I… can’t believe you found me.” You whimpered, letting him draw you into his lap as he fell back against the wall. He didn’t respond at first, instead peeling the dirty blanket from your body. 

Your robes were in tatters, dried blood staining the pristine white where the dirt and grime didn’t. 

Claude wanted to be mad, but what more could he do? The foes were vanquished. You were safe.

Your baby was safe.

His hand fell to your stomach, just below it, where the baby had started to grow. In nearly a month you had started to show just a little, enough that someone who hadn’t been aware could suspect you were with child.

In nearly a month, he had missed the start of his child’s life.

You watched as his expression crumbled into something unreadable, a mixture of grief and regret and sorrow that morphed into a numb pain you couldn’t even hope to understand. 

All you knew was that Claude needed to hold you as badly as you did him.

You reached up, passing a hand through his hair and drawing him back into reality. He shook his head again and gave you a strained smile, before getting to work.

He carefully turned to Seteth, gesturing to Flayn so that she might come and get to work on any wounds she could heal.

While Flayn tearfully took care of you (and Seteth melodramatically explained how worried he had been), Claude unclasped his cloak and wrapped you up in it, enveloping you in the heat you craved.

Shortly after Seteth launched the red flare, Claude took you up, bringing you away from the nightmarish castle. 

Once you were reunited with everyone (in the safety of Claude’s arms, of course), it didn’t take long for soldiers to start offering scarves and gloves, contributing all that they could to help the Archbishop recover.

They didn’t know if you trembled from fear or from the cold, but Claude was the most determined to put a stop to it.

He held you tightly the entire ride back to the monastery, even after the weather became kinder and the need for woolen bundling melted away. 

Mercedes was quick to tend to you on the ground, informing him that just to be safe, you needed to stay bundled until your body temperature was back to normal.

“Say no more,” He said with mirth in his eyes, sweeping you up and taking you back to your bedroom. 

Naturally, the doors were latched shut and the windows practically barred (and plenty of soldiers stationed everywhere nearby), but as far as you were concerned, it was a private haven.

Claude settled you onto the bed, pressing a kiss to your forehead before drawing a bath and starting up a fire. 

He took you into the water and washed you, scrubbing you tenderly from head to toe to rinse away the nightmare you suffered.

Hot soup would be enjoyed by both of you (Claude did, however, insist on feeding you), his arm around your shoulders as you sat before the flames, that night.

“I’ll take care of you.” He murmured between promises to keep you safe, “I won’t let you out of my sight ever again. And I’ll say the very same for the little one, too. I got lucky, once. I’m not risking losing either of you after that.”

“I don’t doubt it for a second.” You replied quietly, eliciting a kiss from your husband. Gently he returned you to bed, the both of you exhausted beyond reason. 

He found the strength to tuck you in, and crossed to his side of the bed before slipping into the blankets and promptly taking you into his arms once more.

You didn’t say anything about his quiet desperation, how he clung to you tighter than you could have held him, even if you wanted to. 

He was thankful beyond words to have you back home, and you knew that just by feeling him around you. He wasn’t going to let you go, anytime soon.

And you weren’t going to let him.

[high5runner5]

@runnerfiveready

A very belated Merry Christmas!! Apologies for the lateness of this gift! It was so much fun getting to draw your lovely Five!! I love a good 5am interaction more than anything! I loved your Five so much and their ridiculous with Sam that I couldn't help but write a small blurb about them!! I hope I delivered on the angst and the grief! Once again, Merry Christmas!!

Thanks to @notforconsumption, @runnerzero, and @delucadarling for another amazing year!!

TW// Spoilers for Season 4, Main Character Death, Injury Mention

Currently, Five tossed and turned in their cot, a sweat covered brow furrowed as they dreamt of a blood soaked Sam, wailing about being left for dead before being engulfed in a mass of rotten limbs and teeth, all desperately wishing to consume him. Soon, like all the other recurring nightmares, Five woke with a jolt.

Five sat upright, panting and wild-eyed as their head swiveled around the room. Trying to locate the danger that awoke them. It wasn’t until the dark shapes of the room came back into focus and their mind cleared that Five noticed the knife gripped in their hand. Realizing it was nothing but another nightmare, they relaxed their grip, they took silent note of the blood rushing back to their fingers and palm. Kicking off their blankets, they rested on their back once again, a sour feeling settling in their stomach as they reminded themselves that Sam was gone. Long gone were the days Five could sneak into the radio shack after a particularly horrid nightmare and find Sam greeting them with a soft smile and an extra blanket. Feeling empty and standing on the brink of sleep deprived exhaustion, they forced themselves to relax back into their cot.

It had been three days since Five abandoned was forced to leave Sam in the zombie infested building. They could only listen in horror to his screams as they ran for Abel, baby Sarah crying in their arms and Paula and Maxine waiting desperately for their daughter to be returned to them. Five understood that Sam’s final wish was to get baby Sarah back home - but that fact did little to stop the nightmares that found them in the quiet of night.

Five tried to find reprieve in their memories of Sam, yet it proved to be more harmful than helpful. Thinking of the tender fleeting moments they shared did nothing but bubble up sentiments of unrequited feelings and the fact that Five can never tell Sam what they felt for him. It often made grief hit Five like a dull blade in the chest.

There was a quiet keening sound closeby that broke through Five's train of thought, it sounded similar to a wounded animal crying out in pain. It wasn’t strange or unheard of to hear people crying for loved ones in the privacy of night - hell, it was often encourage at Able. It wasn’t until a tearful sob reverberated in the tiny room that Five realized tearful sounds came from them.

Frustrated, Five wiped angrily at the hot tears wetting their cheeks. Crying wasn’t going to bring Sam back. He’s dead and that’s that. Sam would be ashamed to see them like this. Able’s savior and best runner, reduced to a bluberring mess and scared stiff from the threat of nightmares. No, they refused to shut down and retreat within themselves similar to last time with Moonchild. They had to keep it together, or until they Sam’s body was back in Abel and buried in the ground. Yes, that was doable, they could manage keeping it together until then.

Determined - and physically exhausted - Five slipped into a dreamless sleep.

[h-c-u]

Eye of the storm pt 2

Summary: You're still grieving after your father's death, and Beau is still helping you cope... But you start feeling something else besides your grief.

Pairing: Beau "Cyclone" Simpson x fem!reader (Iceman's daughter)

W/C: 9k

Rating: PG, age gap, canon character's death (Tom Kazansky)

TWs: Grief, unnamed ED, Panic attacks.

A/N: Sooo... Part two is here... I've already started writing a part 3, but it might take some time before it will be ready, because writing about grief is taking a bit more from me than I've expected...

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Masterlist | List of tags | Eye of the storm playlist

This time when you woke up, you immediately knew where you were... And even though your whole body was stiff and aching, you honestly couldn't pinpoint the last time you felt this comfortable. You were pressed extremely tightly against vice-admiral Beau Simpson, whose arms became your cage... You didn't want to move too much because you didn't want to wake him up... again. But you still wanted to find a more comfortable position to ease the pain, and despite being trapped, you didn't find it hard... You moved your right hand from his chest to his ribs and snaked one of your legs in between his. You also changed your angle a bit, so you were leaning even more against him, which relieved the pressure on your spine, and he hummed quietly in his sleep, subconsciously pulling you closer, so your forehead was now pressed against his chest.

You wanted to take a peek at his face, but your position made that impossible, so you closed your eyes again and focused on his breathing instead, and it wasn't long before you fell asleep again. 

He didn't condone spending a whole day in bed. Usually, he was up at the brink of dawn, but with you next to him... He could stay in bed forever. Didn't matter that it was close to noon now, which he was able to tell from the sounds that were coming from outside. He knew the exercise plan for today, because he had to approve it yesterday, and based solely on engine sounds he was able to deduce which group was landing and which was going up for training. 

He honestly didn't remember when was the last time he took a day off, especially without any secondary purpose, like a wedding in a family, or something similar. But to do... nothing...? His inner workaholic wanted to scream, but every other part told him to shut up because you were sleeping so soundly in his arms and everything else was simply... not important.

He finally relaxed his stiff arms, giving you a bit more room to breathe or turn, but you stayed in the same position and didn't want to let go of him, which made him smile. He leaned a tiny bit back, so you could look at your face while you slept... Something he did so many times during the last two months, but this time he wasn't lurking and trying to catch a glimpse through a barely opened door... This time your hand was wrapped around his abdomen, and you were warming his chest with your breath. And he could look at you like that for ages, studying every freckle, every wrinkle, and committing them to memory. As gently as possible he moved your hair from your face and put them behind your ear, so he could take a better look at you. There were bags under your eyes, your cheeks weren't as full as they used to be, and you were much paler than when he saw you yesterday, and it was breaking his heart... He wanted you to be happy, and healthy, and he wanted to make sure you never had to be in the pain you were currently in... Deep down he knew it wasn’t exactly possible, but he would do anything in his power to help you as much as he could. 

It was dangerously easy for him to get lost in you... And you spoke...maybe 10...? 15...? words to him during the last 48h... He knew that there was still a long and hard road ahead of you, and he wanted to be there for you every step of the way. 

Eventually, you opened your eyes, and it was the only indicator that you were no longer sleeping. Your breathing and your heartbeat stayed the same, and you were too afraid to move, not wanting anything to change. 

Only after a few good minutes, you realized something... He was still here... Not that you were imagining it, but wasn't he supposed to work? And yet the sun was high up in the sky, which you were able to tell because the blinds weren't closed all the way and the sun was reaching the bed. It wasn't hurting your eyes though, because there was a stoic body protecting you from direct sunlight. 

You finally collected enough courage to look up and take a closer look at his face, only to realize he was staring at you too, with a soft smile on his face. He must have realized that you woke up as soon as you did and wanted to see what would you do next. 

- Hi... - he said quietly, and you opened your mouth to reply, but no word left your throat. There was a short raspy sound that shocked you, but considering how your night went... it wasn't all that surprising. - It's ok, you don't have to say anything. Are you ok with me leaving for a few minutes? I'd like to get us some food and something to drink. - he explained and you nodded slowly, quietly wondering how you ended up here. Well, you knew all the steps that were taken, but still... Everything seemed so... surreal. 

When he turned away from you to get out of the bed, you let your hand glide over his chest, and there was a quiet voice in your head telling you not to let him go, but you did... Because the louder one assured you that he'll be back... 

- Is it ok if I change here...? - he asked quietly, not wanting to make you uncomfortable, and you nodded again. After all, it was still his personal space. And even though you were glued to him for the last twelve hours, somehow watching him change was... too much, so you pulled a duvet over your head and cut all possible visuals. You were a bit afraid that if you only looked away, or closed your eyes, the temptation would win. After about a minute you heard the door opening and closing and you finally peeked from under the cover; it was so hot under it, and yet you still felt cold and your fingers were still stiff, but you weren't sure if it was because of poor circulation, or because of how strong you were grabbing his shirt during the night. 

You took a few deep breaths and tried to stretch your stiff muscles on the bed, but that wasn't working the best... And you didn't feel strong enough to get up just yet, but you at least tried to sit up and move your neck and arms a bit more, just to avoid more pain later. 

You don't deserve to be here; you're just using him... Your own cold voice in your head sent shivers down your spine and you instantly went pale and closed your eyes. You knew that it was most likely right. You hated those moments when it found a way to float to the surface. It was a long time since you last heard it, but that also meant... You were actually feeling things, instead of constant numbness. Not exactly good things, but it was a step outside of the state you were in for the last 2 months... So... It was... good? That you felt pathetic? Even thinking that felt miserable, so you just shook your head, dispersing all the unwanted thoughts, at least for now, because you knew that you'd have to deal with them sooner or later. 

He left you alone for longer than you anticipated, but on the other hand, he didn't have to come back at all... You honestly didn't know much about his private life, but you at least knew that he wasn't living on base, because he mentioned remodeling the bathroom in his house a few months ago, while you were still interpreting for your dad. So, he basically uprooted his routine, just to accommodate you in it. He wasn't sleeping in his own house in his own bed, just because he took pity on you. No, that wasn't right. He wouldn't take a day off if he only felt pity. He wouldn't give you his own clothes and wouldn't bring you your favorite juice... And your favorite tea... And wouldn't know about your allergy... He knew things about you, but before you had a chance to analyze this whole situation more, the door opened, and Beau came in with a whole tray of food that looked... delicious.

You recognized some of the components from the canteen, but only a few of them were straight up available on the menu, which told you that he either requested for a special meal to be prepared or actually cooked it himself. He handed you a thermal mug and placed the tray on the bed, in front of you. He also opened the blinds a bit, but not all the way, took a cushion from the armchair, placed it on the floor, and sat on it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

He didn't have to encourage you to eat this time, because after what happened at night, you were starving and exhausted. Everything on the tray could be eaten without cutlery, which was another thing he must have noticed about you. You started with a small egg tart with veggies and cheese that looked like it was made in a muffin tray, but right before you took a first bite, you realized that he smelled vaguely of coffee, and yet there was none to be seen. Did he just drink in the canteen because he was waiting for food, or because he knew you didn't drink coffee at all? 

He gave you a soft smile and you finally bit into the tart. It was indeed delicious... And only after you started to eat, he did the same. The silence between you two should have been at least uncomfortable, and yet you felt like it was pleasantly wrapped around your shoulders and filled the room with otherworldly... softness. You just couldn't put it into words, but you felt safe. 

After you finished the tart, you opted out for a croissant and a bowl of fresh berries. You realized that he also knew how you ate your croissants because he didn't even bat an eye when you slowly started unwrapping the pastry from the middle and ripping away small pieces to eat. Most people who saw that for the first time were at least surprised and made a comment, but he... looked like it was the most normal way of eating croissants. Only after taking a few berries out of the bowl, you noticed that there were no blackberries, another small thing. 

It should start to creep you out that he knew so many things about you... One or two might have been a coincidence, but this many...? You really should be more concerned. Yet somehow... you weren't. You were hyper-independent for so long that you almost forgot what it was like for someone to take care of you. Of course, your family knew all the things that you liked and didn't like, but because you were so focused on helping your dad during those last years, you drifted away from the rest of them... And your father... well... He didn't have the energy to do those kinds of things anymore. 

And you honestly couldn't remember if anyone ever brought you breakfast to bed...

You couldn't help but look at him, studying his every move, gesture, even the tiniest expression, and he let you do that without making any comments, although it must have made him feel at least a little bit uncomfortable like he was a frog being dissected in the biology class.

What you didn't know, was that he actually enjoyed all the attention you were giving him, for two reasons. One - it meant that you weren't spiraling deeper into your grief, and two - he spent so much time watching you from afar, that he felt it was only fair you could observe him up close any time you wanted. And he wanted to have you close as often as possible. 

After you finished butchering your croissant and there were no berries left, you finally got to the mug he gave you as soon as he entered. You were expecting tea again... But to your surprise, there was hot chocolate inside, and you noticed him smiling as soon as you realized what was inside. He was suspiciously smug when he saw that you enjoyed what he was doing for you. From that first smoothie, through fluffy socks, and ending on that hot chocolate. And it was made with full milk, you could tell just by the smell... You smiled for the first time today, and Beau's heart melted while he watched you take small sips from his mug. 

Eventually, the tray got emptied, mostly by him, and he moved it to the small desk. After that, he took the cushion from the floor and placed it back on the armchair, where he eventually sat. You watched him closely while he took his phone from the desk and checked his messages, or rather a message, because there was only one, from Solomon. And it contained only two letters - OK. 

- Why are you doing all this...? - a quiet question left your mouth before you realized that it had formed. He looked at you, put his phone back on the desk, and leaned a bit forward. He contemplated the answer, trying to find the right words, but neither of you was in a hurry, so you waited patiently until he was ready. 

- Honestly, I have no idea... - he finally gave up on trying to smash all that was happening in his head into one neat answer because it was impossible. - The simple answer would be because you need it... And for some twisted reason, I care about you. I know I shouldn't, trust me... We basically don't know each other and yet every time I see you... - he couldn't even finish the sentence without feeling utterly disgusted with himself. - Say one word and I'll stop, I promise... I'll leave you be. - you didn't have trouble believing him and could hear the desperation in his words as if somehow you telling him to stop could save him from damnation. 

- But you do know things about me, don't you...? - your voice was quiet, barely a whisper... And he hid his face in his hands for a moment, because saying it all out loud meant that he would have to admit it to himself. All that small gestures couldn't have been more obvious, but actually saying it...

- I do... - he hung his head in shame, and when you didn't say anything, he was too scared to look at you again; he was afraid to see disgust, or even worse - fear, on your face, which in his head was a real possibility. And the longer you stayed quiet, the more he was afraid to look. 

- I... I don't mind that. - it took you a good few minutes to finally say it. Not because you were torn; his mere presence calmed all the galloping thoughts in your head and you wanted to keep that in your life at all costs. You were still exhausted and even though you just ate, you still didn't have a lot of energy. And just speaking was... hard. You weren't doing it that often during the last two months. But when you finally spoke, his eyes immediately shot back to your face, looking for any sign that you didn't mean it... That you weren't ok with him indulging himself. - It helps... - you added with a weak smile and took a deep breath. - You calm the storms in my head instead of being one... - you continued and something else started to creep into his eyes. Hope...? - I can't promise you anything in return... But if you are willing to, I would like you to... keep doing all that. - you finally finished. It took a lot from you to admit that you needed help and that you wanted to get that help from him. You knew that he knew it wouldn't be easy at times, he had a taste of it that night, and you couldn't help feeling guilty for asking for that. 

- I would like that very much... - he whispered, afraid that if he spoke louder, everything you just said would crumble and disappear. - Can I...? - he wasn't sure what exactly he was asking for because there was so much left unsaid. 

- You can go all out... And if I'll ever start feeling uncomfortable, I'll let you know... Are you ok with that? - he nodded, and just like that - a weird, crooked relationship formed. 

- It's good to hear your voice again... - he said a bit louder, with a small smile creeping onto his lips. He missed it... And even though it was still hoarse and strained, he was happy to hear it. He suspected that you had to force every word out, and he wasn't happy about that specific aspect, of course, but he still enjoyed listening to you. 

By this time, he learned enough about cues in your body language, that he knew you were still exhausted and you were closing in on your limits, so he stood up, took the empty mug from your hands, put it on the desk, and finally climbed into the bed next to you, and pulled you down, so you were laying again. This time you found your way into his arms without any doubts or worries, because even though there was still a lot to discuss, you were both happy with the current arrangement. 

You fell asleep almost immediately, while he kept gently stroking your back; he didn't need as much sleep as you did, but he was more than happy to just have you in his arms. And while you were resting, he was planning his workday for tomorrow, because as much as he didn't want to leave you alone, he also knew that it wouldn't be healthy for you to become completely dependent on his presence. And he still planned on visiting you as often as he could... He also suspected that it would be best if you stayed here for a few more days, because that way he could keep a close eye on you. And since you were already basically living on base, only going home to get a new journal, and a change of clothes, he honestly didn't think you would mind. Plus, you wouldn't have to risk catching a cold from sitting on the floor all the time.

He wasn't sure exactly how much time had passed, but the sun was slowly receding from the room, and it would be good for both of you to eat something, so he gently untangled himself from the mess of your limbs and went out to get some dinner as well as few other things from the shop on base. 

When he came back, you were still sound asleep, and he didn't want to wake you just yet. As quietly as possible he started unpacking his small shopping spree. He knew that your hair needed more than a simple shampoo, so he bought a matching conditioner and a wooden, wide tooth comb, which he placed in the bathroom. He also exchanged your toothbrush for the green one, since it was your favorite color. 

He didn't know much about skincare, but the lady in the shop was more than helpful and helped him select the basics because if he would have been left alone, he would just buy one of everything in hope that he'd ended up something you'd like. He also bought you a few more sets of underwear, fluffy socks, and a pair of slippers just in case. After carefully considering his options, he also decided to get you a sketchbook and a set of good-quality pencils, because he wasn't sure if you had yours with you. Before the funeral, he saw you sketching in between the meetings multiple times; he wasn't completely sure if you were ready to pick that up again, but he wanted you to have that option. When he was standing in the line, he also grabbed a pack of almonds and another one with pineapple bites covered in chocolate, because he saw you snacking on those in the past, and any food he could get into you was good. Fortunately, you only needed a gentle nudge, and not a full-blown intervention, because he would be at a loss how to help you with that. 

It wasn't much, but it still took him a few good moments to unpack everything, and after he finished, he finally approached you, kneeled next to the bed, and gently put his hand on your shoulder to wake you up. 

It was enough to get through the thick layer of Morpheus's sand, but it still took you a while to actually open your eyes, and when you eventually did, he couldn't help but smile. 

- You need to eat... - he whispered, and you nodded. He moved a few rogue strands of hair from your face and you leaned into his touch, even if it was only fingertips brushing against your cheeks and forehead, which he immediately noticed, so he let his fingers linger for just a bit longer before you stretched your sore muscles and eventually sat up. That's when he passed you a giant mug with spicy pumpkin soup and a small bowl of cheesy bread. He knew that it was one of few things from the canteen that you enjoyed as it was and that you preferred to drink it or dip your bread in it than to eat it with a spoon. And while you started sipping on the soup, he ate his salad, which was definitely not on the menu, because you were able to recognize walnuts and... cranberries? No way that soldiers on base were fed that stuff. 

You bent your knees and rested the mug with soup on top of them, so you wouldn't have to raise it up every time you were taking a sip; it was easier to lean a bit a tilt the mug. It wasn't the most gracious position, but it was comfortable. He finished eating first, but instead of doing anything in particular, he just leaned back on the armchair, straightened his legs, and was just looking at you, even though his eyes were almost completely closed. You should feel weird... And yet the corners of your lips went up every time when your eye wandered back to him, and you saw that he was still observing... 

As soon as you finished eating, he took the dirty dishes from your hands and placed them on the desk, and only now you noticed a few of your favorite snacks in the back of it, and it caught you by surprise, even though you already established that he knew a lot about you; you just didn't know what "a lot" exactly meant. Which should really creep you out more, but you didn't have the energy to worry about that just yet. 

- Do you want to get some fresh air? - he asked, and you shook your head. Not yet... It's not like you've spent the last two months only indoors, but now... now you were in a safe space which you didn't have to leave to go home, or in fear of getting caught somewhere you shouldn't be. You were finally relaxed enough not to spiral every time you thought about your dad. 

- But... - you started, and he perked up a bit. - Would it be ok if I took a shower...? - he immediately nodded. You knew you didn't have to ask, but technically it was a choice... And giving that choice away meant that you didn't have to spend energy on actually making it. 

- I got you some fresh underwear and some other things in the bathroom... Clothes are in the wardrobe and, feel free to take anything you want, I honestly don't mind... - he gave you a gentle smile, and you couldn't help but wonder what was waiting for you in the bathroom. It still took you a good minute to actually get out of bed and get the mentioned clothes. You chose another plain t-shirt, this time grey, and you couldn't help but notice all the ironed and pressed dress uniforms that were hanging next to a much simpler, beige selection. You run your fingers over familiar material, and tears started gathering in your eyes because they looked almost identical to the ones that were in your dad's closet at home. 

Even though you weren't facing him, Beau almost immediately realized that something was wrong. Maybe it was the tenseness in your shoulders, or somehow, he was able to tell from your breathing, but he quickly found his way to you, took your hand away from the soft material, and closed the door on that part of the wardrobe. Your lower lip started to tremble, and you did your best not to panic. You were keeping your eyes on the hand that was touching the black uniform a second ago, now gently resting on another hand, much bigger than your own. You focused on grounding yourself in this moment and ran your thumb over the skin under it... It was rough and soft at the same time, and much, much warmer. You couldn't fathom how the hell his body temperature was so high... Or maybe yours was so low? You couldn't really tell... 

- I'll move them... - he said quietly, laser-focused on your reaction because he didn't want to miss the signs that you were starting to spiral. 

- Don't... - you didn't plan on saying that, and you took a moment to put in words what you meant, even if that one word would be enough for him to do whatever you requested. - I need to get used to... everything... - you added eventually, still keeping your eyes on both of your hands and only when you heard the knock on the door, you were able to turn around and shift your gaze to his face. He didn't say anything and kept his expression blank, but you grabbed whatever you needed from the shelf and quickly found your way to the bathroom, closing the door behind you, but you didn't dream about starting the shower just yet. You knew far too well how quickly rumors started and grew on this base, and you didn't want to do anything to put Beau in an uncomfortable position. Well... Not like that...

So instead of running the water, you put your ear to the door and tried to overhear who knocked and what they were talking about. Because everything was muffled, you couldn't hear the exact words, but you recognized the voice... You shouldn't be surprised to hear Maverick, after all, he was an instructor here, but it was still a bit weird... Eventually, you heard the doors closing, and you finally exhaled, only now realizing that you were holding your breath.

You undressed, folded your worn clothes, and put them away. You took a quick look around the room, to see what was added, and the first thing you noticed, was a dark green toothbrush in the cup, next to his gray one, and it made you smile, even though the small voice in your head whispered that throwing away a toothbrush after using it only once was bad for the environment. In the place where you left your toothbrush yesterday, there were cotton pads, a wooden comb, micellar water, and a light serum with caffeine and pineapple. It wasn't anything you used before, but after reading the ingredients and trying the serum on your hand, you were satisfied. 

And one more thing waited for you under the shower, a matching, pine conditioner... And you honestly didn't remember when was the last time you spent more than 3 minutes on your hair. But it was time... You took the comb under the shower with you, so you could untangle them while the conditioner was still in your hair, which would be much easier after a such long time. 

You ended up doing two rounds of deep conditioning, and since neither of you had to pay for a water bill, you sat on the floor under the scorching hot water for the whole duration of your shower. 

Somewhere in the middle, Beau knocked and asked if you were ok, with a clear worry in his voice. You assured him that you were more than fine, and that seemed to calm him down. In the military, any shower over 5 minutes most likely seemed excessive, but you honestly didn't care. You slowly and methodically untangled all the knots. There were quite a few of them, but they weren't big, so it didn't take you long to get rid of them. And after about 30 minutes under the shower, you finally got out. Everything was covered in condensation, and you couldn't see yourself in the mirror, but about that, you were actually happy. You used the other things he bought for you and finally got dressed in his t-shirt and shorts. Even though they were too big for you, they fit perfectly... Finally, you brushed your teeth, hang your towel on a drying rack, took the comb, and left the bathroom. 

He was still sitting in the armchair, doing something on his phone, but as soon as you emerged, he put it down and looked at you. 

- Mitchell asked if I saw you today... - he said, while you were putting your dirty clothes in the laundry basket that stood right next to the bathroom door. You froze as soon as the words left his mouth. - He said your mother couldn't reach you since yesterday and asked him if he saw you on base... He asked around and someone told him that they saw us together on the balcony couple of days ago. - he explained everything in more detail, and you started to relax a bit. - I told him that I haven't seen you, but that if I will, I'll pass the message. - he added and you sighed. You hated lying to your mother, but you didn't want to keep her worried, so you took your long dead phone and a charger from your bag and plugged it in next to the armchair he was sitting in. Next, you sat in between his legs, gently took his hand, and put the comb in it. 

For a short moment, he looked at the comb dumbfounded but eventually started gently brushing your hair, starting at the bottom. Your hair was in a much better state than just a day ago, and even though you took care of the bigger knots in the shower, there were still a few new ones created when you were drying your hair with a towel. You pulled your knees close to your chest and put your chin on them, to give him more space to maneuver… 

And for a few moments, life was simple again... 

He was gently loosening your hair first with fingers and then following the same path with a comb, never pulling strong enough to even move your head. 

- Would you mind if I braided your hair? - he asked, and it took you by surprise. You didn't expect him to know how to do that, but you still wordlessly agreed. He parted your hair in the middle, combed them once again, and slowly but surely started putting them in two tight Dutch braids, making sure to put them in such a way, that you'd be comfortable laying down. He didn't have anything to tie them with, so you reached into your bag, pulled two hairbands that used to live on your wrist, and passed them to him. You leaned back when he was done. 

The heat from the shower managed to escape your body while he was playing with your hair and you were starting to get cold again, but you had to do one more thing before climbing back under the covers. 

You reached for your phone and turned it back on. You didn't even wait for all the notifications to show up, because you didn't have the energy to deal with them right now. With a heavy heart, you dialed your mum's number and she answered almost immediately. 

- Are you ok...? - you could tell that she was crying, and you tensed up in response. You didn't mean to worry her... - I mean, physically... - she added immediately, and you were thankful that your first words to her didn't have to be a lie. 

- I'm not hurt. And I'm slowly starting to eat again... - your voice was much quieter than hers. You could feel Beau's hands softly snaking over your shoulders, and you instantly relaxed a bit. 

- That's good to hear... Really good... - you could tell that she was relieved. - Are you still on base? - you knew why she was asking... She wanted to have your latest location in case you truly went missing. 

- I am... I'm in the building and have a safe space to stay... - you couldn't say much more than that without sharing things you weren't ready to share with her. For example, vice Admiral Beau Simpson was currently gently taking care of the knots in the muscles of your neck. And that you were wearing his clothes... It was too complicated to explain, especially considering that you didn't exactly understand the situation you were in.

- That's good to hear... - she repeated herself and there was an awkward silence for a moment. - I want to slowly start packing up his office... - she whispered, and you froze. Your heart skipped a few beats, but almost instantly started compensating with a speed that it was beating at now. 

- Mom, please... - you weren't sure if you actually said those words out loud. 

- I didn't do anything yet... But it's painful... I live here and see it every day... It hurts... - you understood it far too well... That's why you weren't spending almost any time at home. And yet you still couldn’t say anything. - Honey...? Are you still there...? - she asked after good five minutes of silence.

- I'll help you. - you somehow managed to gather all the energy and put it in those words. - Give me a week. And I'll help you. - your voice was strong and sure, but your face suggested that you could break any second. You turned around to look at Beau and when you saw his giant smile and how proud he was, you stayed strong for just a moment longer. 

- Oh, you don't have to, I know how you... - you knew she was telling the truth. 

- I want to. It's something we should all do together as a family... You know, remember all the good things, have a good cry... - you were surprising yourself. When it came to your own emotions, you were at a complete loss... But it instantly got overwritten by the fact that your mom needed help. 

- One week...? - she asked, her voice unsure. 

- One week. - you repeated, your voice somehow still confident. 

- Ok then... I'll call Nicky and tell him. - you haven't seen your brother since the funeral... Sure, he was sending you tons of messages, and voice notes, but you were afraid to open most of them. 

- Ok... See you then... - your voice became more unsure in the end, and you started to hang up, but before the connection dropped, you heard one last thing. 

- I love you so m... - and then there was quiet again. And you almost immediately started hyperventilating, your phone buzzing with all the notifications from the last few days. Beau had to pry your fingers from it and pulled you onto his knees as if you weighed nothing. 

- Shhhh, shhh, shhh... - he tried to calm you down, while you clenched your fingers around his shirt and did your best not to pass out. He put his hand on your sternum and caught your gaze. He started taking slow, deep breaths. At first, you weren't able to match them in the slightest, but eventually, you forced yourself to do so, even though it burned your lungs. - Good... - his quiet voice was like a cooling pad for your brain. It took you a good minute of slowly breathing together to calm down again, and as soon as that happened, he took his hand from your chest. 

It was the first time in weeks since your panic attack didn't spiral to an unmanageable degree...

You were still shaking a bit from the cold, but the warmth of his body helped... You rested your head under his chin and finally relaxed your fingers. 

- You're shivering... - he said quietly. He could still remember the icy cold fingers that woke him up in the middle of the night, but until now he assumed it was a one-time occurrence. He quickly noted to get you a hot water bottle, but now, he effortlessly moved you to bed before you managed to protest, and covered you with a duvet. - I will be back in 10... - he said, when you were tucked in, and as soon as he left with the dirty dishes terrifying thought crossed your mind...

Were you trying to replace your father with Beau...?

You instantly froze, and even though you were under thick covers, you suddenly felt as if you were encased in an iceberg and the time suddenly slowed down to a dangerous degree. This wasn't something that he would be able to calm you down from, and his presence would only confuse you more, so you had less than ten minutes to overanalyze it, break it into smaller pieces, beat the emotions out of it, and accept whatever conclusion you'd come up with. 

The biggest "no" was the fact that you were sleeping in the same bed. That's something you would have never done with your dad. On the other hand, he was preparing your food, and even though Ice didn't cook, he always made sure to order you something you liked from the restaurant. He cared about you, but he was never able to anticipate your needs, as well as Beau, did. Which was a little bit scary. Neither of them expected anything in return... Or maybe you were wrong? Maybe Beau had some sort of hidden agenda? But what would it be? You didn't have any power anywhere, and you seriously doubted that he would put all this energy into getting to know as much as possible about you just to sleep with you. And even when he was sleeping with you, he didn't do anything you didn't initiate first. For fucks sake, he slept sitting on the floor just so you could hold his arm while you were sleeping... Did you want him to continue? yes. Did you want all this to progress further...? Also, yes. But why...? It's not like you loved him... 

But instead of a coherent train of thoughts, there was a pleasant warmth spilling into your chest. 

It's ridiculous...

You knew him for whole three hot minutes, and you were in a vulnerable emotional state, it was understandable that you latched to a person who showed you the attention and took care of you. It would be crazy if you didn't. 

But the most important question was... If your dad was still alive, would you want the same from him...? 

Your father would kill him.

But would you? 

He would send him for deployment to a fucking North Korea; heavens and hells be damn if that wasn't possible; he'd find a way. 

But would you...?

 

You would.

And that scared you more than you cared to admit. And even though you were scared shitless, the panic started to recede, because it was a completely different type of fear, and you were much more equipped to deal with it. On top of that, there were already some rules set in place, so you knew that you weren't indifferent to him, and that was a good start because complete rejection was already out of the picture. You knew that you would have to talk with him about everything in great detail, but that sounded less scary than you expected... 

But you still curled up into a tiny ball and tightly hugged your knees. You had your back turned to the door, so even though you heard him come in, you couldn't see his face, but as soon as he laid down behind you, you uncurled, turned around, and placed your head on his extended arm. And you felt something hot in between you... He brought a hot water bottle already filled. You looked at it for a good moment without saying a word... Well, he already told you that he cared about you, but everything he did showed you exactly how much time he spent thinking about what you might need and like. 

Just a minute before, you wanted to wrap your arm around his torso and close your eyes, but instead, you looked up, and gently placed your hand on his cheek, running your thumb over his skin, while he clenched his jaw for a fraction of a second, unused to this type of attention. He still had his eyes closed, and his hand was gently drawing unrecognizable patterns on your back.

You rose up a bit and got closer to his face, studying everything with an intensity you didn't suspect you even had in you. You memorized everything as if your life depended on it, and when you were finally satisfied with the image you committed to memory, you placed a light, soft kiss on his jaw, and he froze... He was afraid to open his eyes because he wasn't entirely sure if he didn't imagine what just happened... But the look on your face when he finally caved in, told him that he most definitely didn't. 

He wanted to lean towards you and kiss you until neither of you could breathe; every atom of his body screamed for more and more, and for a split second he was afraid that he'll cave in... But it wasn't time for that... The rational part of his brain was screaming at him that if he did that, he would be the one confusing you and causing you pain in the long run... You weren't ready yet... So instead of getting drunk on your taste, he placed a long, soft kiss on your forehead, and pulled you up a bit, so your faces were on the same level. And when you leaned in to kiss him, it took all he had to stop you from doing that...

- Not yet... - he whispered... - Not like that... - the desperation in his voice spilled into the space between you. You knew he was right, yet you couldn't help wanting, needing, more... But even though his whole body ached, he didn't budge and stayed as composed as he could. And yet, both of you craved more, sohe pressed his forehead to yours, allowing your breaths to synchronize and combine into one. You had to close her eyes because with every second you felt your will crumbling faster and faster... You were lightheaded, your cheeks were flushed, and you just couldn't keep your breath steady. You felt the electricity running through your whole body, setting every nerve ending on fire, making it hard to think. You desperately wanted to say something, do something, but you didn't know what, and you were afraid that if the silence was broken, all the self-control would break along with it...

You gently adjusted your head, allowing your noses to touch for a brief second and you could hear that Beau inhaled sharply when you did that, but you didn't want to tempt the fates even more, so you did your best to stay still.

It took you much more time to get used to this situation than you wanted to admit, even to yourself. But eventually, you did... 

The fire slowly calmed down, and only when you were sure that both of you were in a more rational state, you wrapped your hand around his body, the hot water bottle still in between you, while he gently lifted his arm, allowing you to slide your arm through there and rest it on his ribs. He also reached down, grabbed your leg at the knee, and pulled it higher, so it could rest on his thigh. 

The atmosphere was now much more relaxed, and you were finally able to exhale deeply, releasing all the tension that accumulated in your body. 

- I... - you started, but you didn't know how to finish what you wanted to say, and he didn't press; he knew that eventually you'll find the right words, and fully accepted that most likely won't happen today. You eventually sighed with resignation, but instead of getting frustrated, you hid your face in the nook of Beau's neck and inhaled his scent. 

It wasn't super late, but while you were in bed, the sun definitely hid behind the horizon and the room got dark, while muffled sounds of a military base lulled you to sleep. 

When you woke up in the middle of the night, he wasn't in bed with you, but you could hear a quiet hum of running water from the bathroom. You knew that it was too early for him to actually start working, so he probably just wanted to freshen up after all day of dotting on you. And maybe, just maybe, he wanted to spend as much time with you in the morning as possible... Hum of the water eventually stopped and only after a few minutes, the doors opened letting a small amount of light into the room, illuminating his silhouette. He wasn't wearing anything besides a towel around his hips, and you couldn't help but stare at his chiseled torso. You felt the muscles under his shirt more than once, but it was the first time you actually saw more of him. He was... well... much more in shape than you ever were... 

He didn't realize at first that you were awake, but when he turned around with a fresh set of underwear, shorts, and a t-shirt, he caught the light reflecting in your eyes and he smiled softly. 

- Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up... I went to the gym and I didn't want to get back to bed all sweaty... - well that must have been a sight...

- Could you... - you hesitated for a short moment, but the worst thing he could do right now was to say no. - ...leave the t-shirt off? - your voice was quiet, but he didn't have trouble hearing you in the dead quiet of the night. He was surprised by such a blunt request from you, but after what happened before you fell asleep... He wanted to say no to you, he really did. Because he knew that feeling your touch on his bare skin might be what would push him so far over the line, that he wouldn't be able to go back on his own. 

- I can... - he said despite his better judgment because even though he wanted to refuse your request, he found himself unable to do so... One smile from you and everything else could have gone straight to hell, and he wouldn't even notice.

He quickly went back to the bathroom, put the clothes on, and took one last look in the mirror, giving himself a warning look not to do anything stupid. Gods, he wanted all this to go right... He already knew that he meddled too much when you were in such a fragile state, but he couldn't stay outside, watching you wither away more and more with every passing day. And even the knowledge that you were getting a little bit better with him near didn't stop him from feeling like he was taking advantage of you. 

Not even a full minute passed before he was back in bed, with you, under the duvet... Your bodies were so close that even without touching you could feel the heat radiating off him, although you weren't sure if it was from the shower, previous exercise, or was his body naturally this warm... 

- Would you mind if I touched you...? - your whisper hung in between you two, sparkling with electricity. Even though you were basically glued to him before, this seemed... different. And you felt the need to ask. 

- I wouldn't mind that at all... - he replied even quieter than you asked, but his tone was much steadier and clearer than yours, rational thinking currently jumping out of the window. 

Yet instead of moving your hand to his torso, you started with something more familiar, something you already did... You slowly hooked your leg over his thigh, now painfully aware of where his shorts actually started. It was dangerously easy to connect your body with his, as if you were made for each other, fitting like two pieces of the same puzzle. Next, you shifted your hips, so your pelvis touched the band of his shorts, and what was more important, your abdomen touched his side. It wasn't your intention, and you honestly didn't notice that your shirt rode up a bit... You heard him inhale sharply, and you read it as everything being too much, so you started to retrieve, but it was at this moment that he slipped his arm under your body and pulled you on top of himself, and you had to swallow a moan that wanted to rip through your closed lips... The way he manhandled as if you weighed nothing made you blush, but what surprised you, even more, was that you didn't even have to move, because you were already in perfect position, with your knee bent next to his hip, but not bearing any weight, so it wouldn't hurt in the morning, your head lying flat on his chest, your cheek pressed to his skin, and while your left arm stayed close to your chest, fingers spread on his ribs, the right one somehow found its way higher, and now your hand was pressed gently against his neck...

- Sorry... - he whispered, clearly meaning the sudden change of position. - I felt like you were teasing me, and that could have ended... very badly... For both of us... - somehow you doubted it with your whole heart, but you were too comfortable to protest, so you only hummed in response, not exactly sure what it was supposed to mean. He gently placed one hand on your shoulder blade, and the other on the small of your back, pulling your shirt down a bit, even though you were hidden under the duvet... You knew why he did that, but since you were so close to him, you didn't mind the loss of additional contact. - Is this ok...? - he asked, gently rubbing his thumbs over your body, indicating that he meant the placement of his hands. You only nodded in response, already half asleep, surrounded by his touch and smell.  

Sleep didn't come easy for him, although he already felt like he was dreaming, and he could stay like that till the end of the time. For the first time ever he actually dared to think about his life after the navy... Ever since he joined the academy, he had a clear path in front of him, and he was just one step away from reaching the end of that path... Technically Iceman's replacement wasn't officially picked out just yet, with a few vice admirals sharing the workload unlit then. If someone asked him a month ago, he would have said yes. But now...? Now he actually started thinking if that was what he wanted. Being a COMPACFLT was a demanding job that required a lot of traveling all over the country and he saw how hard it was on Admiral Kazansky. He knew that he'd be able to do it, but... he also knew that if he would have to choose between even one full day with you and the promotion, he would have chosen you every single time... Besides, he enjoyed overseeing Top Gun... Choosing, training, and nurturing the best of the best was fulfilling and gave him the satisfaction of passing his knowledge and skills to the younger generations. And now you found a realistic place in the equation of his life... He knew that it was much too early to actually talk about those things, but he couldn't help thinking of them. About how good it would be to finally sleep together in his bed instead of the uncomfortable cot that somehow became the softest place on Earth... 

He knew for a while that he felt strongly about you, but only now had he begun to understand that having you in his life on a permanent basis was an actual possibility, not only something he dared to fantasize about in the middle of the night... 

And that scared him... Not the possibility of a relationship, but the fact that he was ready to seriously reconsider his whole career right before he reached the top that he dreamed about for so long. Or maybe he just got used to climbing to the top so much, that he didn't realize other options were more appealing to him. But 3 days with you and all that changed... 

He sighed quietly and looked at the braids he made earlier, now barely visible in the faint light of the moon... He wanted to see your face, but it was currently pressed against his bare chest, and the angle made it impossible. He still smiled for a short moment, allowing himself to imagine a few of the happiest futures with you, and that's what eventually made him fall asleep. 

Part 3

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

Love,

G.

[teabutmakeitazure]

Otherworldly Desire

>Yan! Vampire! Childe x Fem! Reader

a/n: just a little teaser. I will write more of this story and wanted to post this chapter as a building block. This mini series is in for quite some messed up stuff. Beginning is reader wanting to touch grass (literally)

Warning: reader is marked (literally)

Word count: 0.8k

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The sunlight feels warm. Even through the windows it's warm. On the grass, it’s warm and comforting. Grass…

You're still not well enough to go outside.

It sucks, honestly. If only you didn't stomp out angrily. If only your mother chased after you instead of ignoring you. If only your parents weren't having their usual fights and they simply bothered to look for you. If only…

No. If's are for people obsessed with the past and their mistakes. You're a person who always looks forward and pushes on with confidence. You promised yourself to not be like your mother. Yet…

Now you feel like the only way you can be close to her is by holding on to the personality traits you got from her. How comical.

The mark above your shoulder blades suddenly burns and you wince, holding onto the wall as you hyperventilate. It's not fun at all, being here. Despite him being nice and so accommodating to you, it's a pain.

The mark burns up frequently and you're left to deal with the pain. However, it's not always so intense. Mostly it's like a faint tingling or an odd sensation that helps make the mark's presence known.

But sometimes it manifests as the burning of an iron rod at the brink of melting. It's kept you up at night too. The fact that this mark is what's keeping you from a proper sleep is bound to reach him one day.

As the pain fades, you make your way from the window back to your bed. Just as you plop down with a sigh, there's a knock on your door.

The way your gut instinctively feels weird is evident that the person knocking isn't Noelle. With shaky hands, you pull over the covers for modesty and ask whoever it is to come on.

The door opens slowly and unruly ginger hair comes into view. Like on cue, your heart starts beating like you just ran a lap across the boundary of town.

You get up into a sitting position and grip the sheets as tight as you can under the covers. His presence will never fail to scare you out of your mind.

He saunters in like you're not scared out of your mind at the moment and chooses to stand right at the foot of the bed, looking at you with a smile. With the way his hair is in disarray and by his clothes, you deduce that he just woke up. The time? You don't know. You didn't bother to look at the clock since you can't even sleep.

"Good morning. I hope you slept well."

His voice has the effect of your heart calming down but it's just contradictory. He, himself, has your body recoiling in fear but his voice soothes you. How? It's absurd!

Nonetheless, you nod, not wanting to seem impolite. He is the reason why you're still alive. Being polite is the least you can do.

His smile widens and he almost looks like an excited kid. Cute, but not cute. At least he has the decency to not come and sit right beside you on the bed like last time. You almost cried and a panicked Noelle had to shoo him away. His presence is just too much.

"How are you feeling? You look better, a lot less pale."

"I'm feeling better. Thank you for asking."

Silence.

You bite your inner cheek as the heavy atmosphere weighs down on your shoulders. Tartaglia's presence adds to that weight like a boulder that's 10 times your size. He starts fiddling with his hands, probably caught on to what your problem is.

Those azure eyes look away and so do you. With a sigh, he seats himself down at the edge of the bed, back turned to you. A hand comes up to pet down the disheveled ginger mop of hair.

“If it’s not too much, I’ld like to ask you something.”

“Yes?”

“Why is it that my presence frightens you so much?”

You think for a moment before answering, “I think it’s because you’re immortal. Or maybe it’s because you’re not half-blooded like Noelle is. I’m sorry. It was never my intention of offending you it’s just that I can’t-”

“It’s okay. It’s just that I’ve never met a human that’s so sensitive to the supernatural.”

He shifts a bit, then turns a little so that you can see a little bit of his cheek but not his full face before he continues. “I do hope that you come around eventually.”

Melancholy fills your heart with his sad tone. You’ve had only a few conversations with him but you’ve never heard him this sad. His voice is always filled with joy, whether it’s fake joy is another matter.

With a shake of his head, he gets up. “If you do have the strength, visit me in the library sometime.”

There’s a library here? Before you could even reply, he walks out, closing the door behind him. Maybe when you can walk for longer than a few minutes without collapsing then you could. You’ld like to ask why and how there’s a weird mark above your shoulder blades.

[blue-howlite]

Hi)

Saw you wrote something for Pandora - such a pleasant suddenness ☺️

Could you write Xerxes Break x Reader one shot? 🥹 Maybe something when he wakes up and there she is to comfort him and reassure that he is still here?

Yessss I'm totally down for that! I love this idea it's just so cute and Xerxes deserves the love. I'll go with gender neutral reader if that's okay, I saw you used a feminine pronoun there but since there wasn't an explicit request for a fem reader I'll go with gn reader.

Xerxes Break x Reader, oneshot

Yn = Your name.

Type: pure fluff.

Warnings: some spoilers but that's to be expected, maybe a little thanatophobia trigger if you're very empathetic and sensitive, couple fluff and you and Xerxes being very intimate but that's it.

Author note: sorry for being so late, I had a sort of writer block but I'm happy to be back! Also sorry if it's kinda short. I'm guessing I'm the "quick but intense" kinda one shot writer at this point.

You woke up feeling a warmth pressing on your side.

You opened your eyes, only to find your partner, Xerxes, asleep and with his forehead touching your side, just below your chest. His expression was relaxed, although you couldn't say it was peaceful. There was something about it that made you worry about Xerxes.

As you looked up, you didn't see sunlight enter your room. The only light was the moon shining through your window, illuminating your lover's face. His body was messily wrapped under the sheets, as if he had moved in his sleep. He usually kept a little distance when sleeping, so you didn't feel his movements.

Gently, you placed a hand on his cheek. You immediately felt Xerxes lean in it.

«What's wrong?» you whispered, knowing he was awake by now, as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. He exhaled, then proceeded to bury his face in your side.

You turned so that he was now facing your chest, and hugged him. Xerxes didn't move, still pretending to be asleep.

You started gently stroking his hair and humming a tune, hoping that would soothe him enough to actually go back to sleep. Instead he hugged you, pulling you close and murmuring with his face still buried in your chest.

«If... if I open my eyes... I'm afraid I'll wake up from a dream... and I'll still be there, on the brink of death...» he said, his voice almost breaking.

You kissed his forehead, still stroking his hair with a hand and embracing him with the other arm.

«It's no dream, I promise. You survived, came back to me, and now we're in our room. It's alright.» you whispered softly.

He nodded, then turned his face to you and slowly opened his eye. Xerxes never talked about the trauma the experience of saving the world left in him. He never said how grateful he was to have made it out alive. He just stared into your eyes, slowly settling back into reality and fully waking up from the nightmare he just had. Even if you couldn't understand everything he went through and how he felt, you didn't need to; you just had to be there for him when he needed you the most and reassure him that he was there and alive.

He close his eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled as he opened them again. You were still there, he was still hugging you, in your shared room. His face finally gained the peaceful expression he usually had in his sleep and his most intimate moments with you.

«I love you.» he murmured. His voice sounded real too.

«And I love you.» you responded. Your voice sounded real as well, which reassured him.

He settled himself in your arms, his cheek against your chest, his ear listening to your heartbeat, as his own hand found place on his chest, to feel his heartbeat. Like that, he fell asleep again, as you held him.

The world was safe, he was alive, you two were together. Everything was truly alright.

[ill-skillsgard]

Definitely would love more Faust and faith!

A/N: I have been really loving this FxF renaissance and I thank everyone who sent in prompts for more Faust stuff. It's made me so happy to write them again and I hope you continue enjoying and letting me know your thoughts. Reblog and stuff if you'd like to read more!

Warning: 18+ Smut (unprotected sex/oral), alcohol consumption, mature language, one use of the r-word and some brief mentions of non-consent, violence, angst, and Faust crying.

Summary: Faust discovers something about Faith that drives him back to the brink of uncontrollable aggression. Can he continue burying his demons to stay with her, or will they overtake him once more?

- Not based on Lords of Chaos. I use Faust!Valter’s likeness only as inspiration.

Read more Faust x Faith here [x]

Faith couldn't get back to sleep the first time she woke at 6 am to Faust snoring behind her. Waking next to him again made her throat tighten with guilt. As much as she tried to move on—promised herself that even if she saw him again, she wouldn't take him back—she fell right back into his snare.

It was no small thing. The man was obsessive, impulsive, quick to anger, and selfish. Not only that, but Faust was withholding and, controlling, charming... Intoxicating. Greedy. Violent. Faust was too much. Leaving her safe boyfriend was stupid, and she could already see the problems from her comfy spot next to him, where his breath tickled her skin.

She didn't want to think of the future. All she wanted was to stare at his lips and admire how he looked without a scowl. To touch him and enjoy the way he smelled. To remember what it was like when they first met, and he was only a mystery and had no blood on his hands. Those were different times; she had changed, and Faust had not.

He woke in a daze an hour into her studying his face and said nothing as he rubbed his eyes and felt an enormous wave of lust hit him. Some of the night's recollections stirred, and he remembered who was beside him and grabbed Faith around the waist, pulling her close.

"Good morning," she said.

"Mmmph," his voice was gruff, barely above a whisper. "Kiss me."

What Faith thought would be a sweet peck to seal their rekindling quickly turned into open-mouthed, moaning, and Faust rubbing his crotch against her thigh. He could barely keep his eyes open when he whispered, "fuck me."

Faith climbed over his hips and waited for him to look up at her before sinking down on his cock. She expected a smile when he finally opened his eyes, but he choked and sat up, hands clamping around her ribs.

"What the fuck is that?"

Faith looked down at the small tattoo she had under her breast and giggled.

"Um, it's a rose."

"It's a tattoo."

"Yeah, so what?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? Because I got it."

"Why would you get a tattoo?"

Faith scoffed. "Who even cares? Everyone has tattoos these days."

"Yeah, but you... You don't get tattoos."

She smoothed back his hair, laying it over his shoulders before taking his face in her hands and kissing him.

"You don't get to tell me what to do."

"Faith..."

"Are you going to get mad about every little thing I did while we were broken up? You barely even know me anymore."

"People don't just change in a year."

"Yes, they do. Well, at least I did. You wouldn't know. Maybe if you asked me how I've been rather than making me have sex with you, you'd know that."

"Making you, huh?"

"You seduced me."

"You're the one who was all over my cock last night. I seem to remember you pouting over a rubber."

Faith kissed him again, giggling. "You are the one who brought me to your place and wouldn't stop saying you needed my pussy to live and how everything sucks without me, and you can't get it up for anyone else. Trust me. You were drunk."

"So you took advantage of me."

"How!?"

"By existing."

Faith smacked his shoulder. "Shut up. You're gonna have to get used to how things are now."

"Oh, yeah?" Faust asked, palms sliding up and down her thighs, lip caught between his teeth. "And how are things now?"

"First of all, I have a new place. I'm renting a room in a house with other students. So, no more sharing a dorm," said Faith.

"That's nice."

"And I got a job at a bar—"

"You fucking what?"

"Relax. It's a bar in a restaurant. Nothing like the bars you go to."

"And you got a boyfriend."

Faith's smile disappeared. "Yeah... I got a boyfriend."

"Is he gonna continue being a problem?"

"Not if you don't make it one," Faith said, glaring. "Don't even fucking start, Faust. You said you fucked other girls, and you don't see me trying to fight them."

"Fucking isn't the same as seeing someone. And I got the black eye to show for it."

"Is that so? Then what are we right now? Fucking or seeing each other?"

"Right now... We're fucking around. I just got back from tour, and you just got out of a relationship. You're working at a bar now, I guess; I'm unemployed again. You'd be an idiot to come back to me."

"What happened to saying I belonged to you last night?"

Faust clamped his hands on her hips and pulled her onto the mattress next to him. He looked into her eyes, holding back a smirk. "You said it yourself... I was drunk. Saying stupid shit."

"Faust!"

"You didn't have to break up with your boyfriend just to hop on my dick. You could have just fucked me and kept it a secret like most people would."

"You made me!"

"I didn't make you have sex with me. You wanted it. You said you wanted to fuck, and I gave you what you asked for."

"You said you loved me!"

"I do love you."

"Then what are we?"

Faust rested his hand on her shoulder. "I'm the guy whose cock you're gonna start stroking in about two seconds. And you're the little fucking slut who's gonna open her mouth and take everything I wanna put in it. Got that?"

His voice came over her like a sheet of gravel. When he darkened and his grip on her strengthened, her resistance waned. The black sparkle in his curious pale eyes charmed her all over again. But she had to remain strong. Stronger than the girl who had fallen in love with him first. With her newfound independence still intact, she had sex with him once more, showered, and told him she had to go. Faust tried hard to pretend he was okay with her leaving and stayed quiet as she grabbed her things and walked out the door, blowing a kiss as she went.

Faust fell asleep alone and awoke hours later, pining for her already.

~*~

He wasn't sure when to find her again. Faith was ever-present on his mind, but he didn't want to overwhelm her. He understood that his sudden appearance had shoved a wrench in the spokes of her life, and overdoing it could drive her away. But she had left the other guy and professed her love to him. It was enough to keep him comfortable, knowing she wasn't likely to go running back to Hunter any time soon.

Instead of showing up at her work, he did the next best thing and bought a phone and internet plan for his new place. With a connection, he could find her online and send her a message like he used to when they first started seeing each other. It was a non-threatening approach, he thought, until he stumbled upon her Instagram account and spent the better part of an hour scrolling through the posts made during their time apart. Photo after photo of Faith with Hunter... Kissing him, riding bikes together, out for dinner, Hunter standing next to her fucking dad. And they were smiling so genuinely Faust wanted to smash his new phone into the fresh drywall.

Then he saw the documentation of her tattoo appointment. Not only did Faith have a tattoo on her ribs, but Hunter had the same one in the same place. They had gone to the local tattoo shop together, and Faith posted a mirror photo of them showing off their fresh ink side by side, her bralette showing as she lifted her shirt up and stuck out her tongue.

His stomach bubbled and snapped like a boiling pot, his chest so tight he could barely breathe. He wanted to carve the little black rose out of Hunter's skin with a red hot knife and then pin that square of skin to his heart with the blade driven deep. Sweat beaded on his forehead as a curdling wave of nausea came up from his guts. It was the worst sensation he had ever felt, ten times worse than a hangover. Faust wretched in the bathroom, slamming his fist into the tile to relieve some of the blinding anger.

Faust had to keep reminding himself that Faith had, understandably, left him because of the voices hijacking his brain. They were there now, whispering and laughing and telling Faust to find Hunter, to stick something sharp through his windpipe, to organize another burning, to dispose of the other man permanently. But they had pushed him too far before, to the brink of jail time, into a room with an investigator who questioned his whereabouts on the night the Trinity Church went up in flames and a man burned alive within its smoldering walls. He had been lucky that time. Too lucky.

And though he had walked away with an alibi, Faith distanced herself. Letting her leave was a good idea at the time.

Faust waited. He waited for the photos with Hunter on her Instagram page to disappear so he could quit checking up on her, and he waited for the right time to track her down. It was an intense exercise in self-restraint, but nothing Faust hadn't done before.

He waited a week to ask if they could meet up. He expected her to reply right away, only knowing her to do so, but Faith answered him hours later at midnight. She was out at a bar with some friends from school and told Faust she wasn't leaving but that he could find her. So he did.

Faust hopped in his car and drove to a dive bar downtown where some shitty dad rock band played on a stage the size of a loading pallet. The place was barely a room, and Faust saw her right away at the end of the bar and felt all kinds of conflicting emotions. There she was, his Faith, dressed in all black, wearing fishnet tights and a form-fitting skirt that hugged her ass tightly. The skirt rode up with every step she took, and her makeup was different, and he wasn't sure he liked it. She was in the middle of a lively conversation with a blond girl he had never seen before. Instead of going straight to her, Faust sauntered to the opposite end of the bar and ordered a beer.

Finally, as the blond pulled Faith along by her bracelets, she turned and noticed him, his height unmistakable. His eyebrows shot up as she stopped and stared.

"Faust! You're here," she said.

"Yeah, I'm here. And what are you doing here? Wouldn't your dad go fucking nuts if he found out you were hanging out in a place like this?"

"What? Are you gonna tell on me?"

Faust made a mocking face and beckoned her with a casual nod. The way she looked dressed in the tight, black get-up made him want to make fun of her, but she was stunning. Too stunning. No doubt others had noticed her. He touched her back, pulled her in, and said for anyone nearby to hear, "Do you want something to drink, princess?"

Faith went stiff against him, though she giggled.

"I'll be right back. I'm going with my friend."

"Oh, yeah? Where you two going?"

"Outside."

It was then Faust noticed a particular smell on her.

"Faith...Have you been smoking?"

"No! My friend does. I just have her cigarettes on me because she doesn't have a purse."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious!"

"Then let me come out with you."

"No, Faust. My friends don't know about... us."

"What the fuck do you mean they don't know about us? Everyone knows about us."

"Not them! I have different friends now. People you don't know. They're not metalheads."

"Ah, I gotcha. You haven't told your little friend that you broke up with what's-his-face yet."

"Please don't bring that up tonight."

Faust gave a prolonged nod, scoffed, and shook his head while her cheeks burned. He had discovered yet another facet of her that he never knew existed. A false side. One that wasn't so shiny and hid the truth. Faust couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, princess. I like this little dirty side you have going on. Why don't you go outside with your friend, then come find me. I'll buy you both a drink."

Faith squashed a devious smile and backed away from him, biting her lip. She turned and left the bar for twenty minutes. At that time, Faust chugged two beers and ordered a shot of whiskey. By the time Faith returned with her friend in tow, he was less sober, and Faith was looking at him like she wanted to jump his bones in the bar in front of everyone.

"So, girls. What will it be?"

"We'll have a Jack and Coke," said Faith.

"And how are you two planning on getting home?"

"What does it matter?"

"I dunno. I guess it depends on where you're going after last call."

"Oh, you curious?" the blond asked.

Faust didn't answer the question. "What's your name, doll?"

"It's Kasey," she giggled. "But you can keep calling me doll if you want."

A grin unfurled over Faust's lips, and it made Faith's heart skip a beat. When she looked at Kasey looking at Faust, it was immediately clear she found him attractive. And she should have known, for she and Kasey had bonded over their similar tastes. Kasey's eyes sparkled up at him, as most would meeting one of his genuine smiles. In the low lights, Kasey watched how Faust carried himself, stiff yet confident, his side profile and striking cheekbones, pale green eyes, and lips soft and full. The long black hair, the leather jacket, the bullet belt, stark black jeans, and boots—he was something that stepped out of her bad girl dreams.

Faust had had no intention of having a good time at the bar, but the way Faith monitored Kasey's advances was too delicious for him not to encourage a little bit. He supplied them with a drink and let the night unfold with a sick sense of vengeance warming his belly. Faith now had to bathe in the water she drew from keeping secrets about them and lying by omission. They both knew it, and poor Kasey had no clue she had become Faust's instrument of the night, playing on her attraction to him to keep Faith by his side too.

The plan worked, and he found himself outside the bar as the band took a break, Faith sidling up to him as he smoked a cigarette. Kasey had gone to the washroom, and they had a free moment to talk without blaring music and loud conversations.

"So, are you gonna like... Fuck my friend?" Faith asked.

"Depends... Are you gonna keep pretending like you don't know me?"

"I'm not pretending like I don't know you! We've been hanging out all night."

"You're acting like I didn't fuck two huge loads into you last week."

"Ugh, I don't care! I just don't want her to touch your arm again. Why are you letting her?"

"We're not dating anymore, baby. Your fuckin' matching tattoo with your boyfriend says it all."

Faith paled.

"Yeah, didn't think I'd find out about that, did you?"

"You moved away! You said I should forget about you, so I tried. But now I feel like I can't live without you."

"You, can Faith. You've been doing it."

"It doesn't feel right, though, beetle. Please."

"Now who's fucking drunk? Saying dumb shit."

"I tanked my life because of you. Do you even understand how fucking pissed my dad's gonna be when he finds out I broke up with Hunter?"

"Broke up with him to get back with me?"

"I don't know! I just know that I want you."

"But we don't know each other that well. Are you sure you want to go home with me? You gonna tell your girlfriend you're leaving with the guy she wants to fuck?" 

Faith grabbed his arm, and he let her drag him away.

"Where's your fucking car? Let's go home."

Faust snickered. "My place or yours?"

"I don't fucking care. Let's go."

The thought of Kasey touching Faust drove her hand to his lap while at a stop light. He looked down briefly, smirked, and directed his attention back to the road. She leaned closer and squeezed his thigh. Every few seconds, Faust would look down at Faith's hand in a different stage of unrest, rubbing his crotch, yanking open his belt, and struggling with the button and zipper. And he didn't make it much easier besides leaning back and parting his knees. Once freed and she began stroking, Faust relaxed and chuckled.

"So desperate for cock, aren't you, slut?"

The question activated a latent urge within her. There were no more thoughts of anything but him, his voice, his body. Faust recognized this girl, how she squirmed and bit her lip, eyeing him constantly. Faith had fallen submissive, and he was happy to stoke the urges he missed so much. 

"Be a good girl, and show me what you like to do with that mouth."

"Um, should I take off my seatbelt?"

"Whatever you need to do to get those gorgeous lips around my dick, princess."

No matter how much makeup or fishnet she wore, Faith was still unsure. He liked that about her. He had never met anyone so timid yet feisty. The women he had used to replace her physically never reminded him of anything but his persistent love for the woman climbing over the seat to insert her head under his arms. The downtown streets were alive that night, and Faust pulled up beside an elevated truck, hoping the passengers didn't look down to see Faith bobbing up and down on his lap.

Faust swerved once as his eyes rolled back and he groaned, her mouth wrapped tight around his tip, humming. He drew a breath in through his teeth and shook his head as though trying to remain conscious.

The drive to Faith's house was difficult, but he made it before she could suck the life out of him. Faith stumbled out of the car, laughing, into Faust's arms. He righted her and followed the wobbling girl through the house to her apartment on the second floor. Faith struggled with her key, and when the door swung open, her scent wafted into the hallway, enveloping his senses in a warm wave of familiarity. He smiled as he looked around, her belongings taking up space and decorated to suit her tastes, but his grin faded when he saw her bump into the table and almost lose her footing, trying to take off her high heels.

"Come to the bedroom," Faith slurred.

Faust took slow steps and met her at the doorway, peering into the room as though he were gazing into a stranger's underwear drawer. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, unaware of his growing discomfort, until he made no move to kiss her back.

"What's wrong?" Faith asked.

"You're fucking wasted."

"So?"

"I'm uh... Yeah, we can't fuck."

Faith's jovial expression disintegrated, replaced with a sneer. "Are you serious? You won't fuck me, but you'll let me suck your dick the whole way here?"

"I didn't realize how drunk you were until we got out of the car."

"Faust, don't be a pussy. Come on. I know you wanna fuck me. Why else did you come over?"

"Maybe that was the plan," he said, gripping her wrists and forcing her hands away. "But, no."

"What the hell? Are you joking? I brought you all the way here, and we're not even gonna fuck?"

Faust scoffed. "I'm not fucking a drunk chick. I'm not a fucking predator."

"But I want it," she whined.

"I don't give a shit what you want. Take off your makeup, get in your pajamas, and drink some water."

"You can't fucking tell me what to do! Who are you, my dad?"

Faust captured her by the shoulders. His powerful stare brought silence over the room as Faith stared up at him, trying not to pout. Her eyes filled with tears, but Faust was insusceptible to her tactics.

"You need to sober up."

"Fuck you. Hunter would fuck me if he were you."

The rapid energy shift in the room made Faith take a step back, regretting her words instantly. The man towering over her snarled, and one hand that had been gripping her shoulder went to her neck. He didn't squeeze but supported her so she couldn't look away.

"Guess the fuck what? I'm here, and he's not. He will never be me. I suggest you never mention his name ever again. But it's good to know he'd fuck you if you were wasted."

"No, Faust, it's not like that!"

Faust backed her into the wall and diminished his height, boxing her in with his whole body, eyes drilling into her while his teeth flashed. "You are mine. That other son of a bitch will never be half a fucking thought in your head ever again, understand? You belong to me, you've always belonged to me, and I don't care how it was while I was gone. All that's done now. Don't ever call or text, or message him ever again. Delete his entire fucking existence, or I promise you, it will be a thousand times worse than last time."

Faith struggled against him. The deadpan coldness in his eyes and his persistent grip on her became claustrophobic, and she threw his hands off of her, tears rolling loose over her cheeks.

"Shut up! Don't you hear how ridiculous you sound?" Faith cried. "You're so opposed to touching me if I've had a drink or two—"

"Way more than two—"

"I said shut up, Faust! I'm not finished."

Faust withdrew and gave her some breathing room as she wiped her nose and sniffled. "You act like it's rape, but I know you've fucked other girls at parties while they were plenty more drunk. I know that for a fact because Anika told me stories about you after you left. So what's the difference between that and..." Another bout of sobs turned her mascara muddy. "You've hurt others, Faust. Really bad. So bad that it ruined what we had. And what we had seemed so perfect. It'll never be the same. When I look at you, I'm scared."

"I promised myself I'd never disrespect a woman, but I did—I used to. I have major fucking problems, Faith. But all of that went away when I met you. And then that sick fuck did what he did to you and those girls. It just took over. The thought of somebody hurting you... I can't. I fucking promised myself I'd never end up like my piece of shit father, yet here I am. Full circle. Everything I hate, I've become. No matter how hard I tried to be the opposite of him, I turned out just like the motherfucker."

Before he could say more, Faust pressed his mouth shut and backed away. Not once since they met had Faust brought up his parents. The horror on her face brought him crashing back into reality, and he shook his head, unable to meet her eyes without the salt and heat of tears stinging his. Faith followed him, hungry to witness the anguish on his face after having let go, to see him lose control and cry.

"You think I don't regret what I did? I don't want to hurt people! But it's like this entity lives with me. I can't fucking think of another man touching you without feeling like my heart will explode and kill me. I'm so full of anger, and it reminds me of last time."

"What do you mean?"

"Like I'm gonna do something horrible."

"No, you're not," Faith grabbed his elbows and shook him. "You are not going to do that again. If you love me, you won't. And I'm not saying that to protect Hunter. I'm saying it because I can't be with you if you can't get a hold of yourself. It can't happen again."

"It won't."

"Promise me, Faust. Look me in the eyes and promise me you won't do that shit ever again."

She hugged him close, panicked by his silence. He pressed her whole frame into him and looked off through the window at the moon-washed street, remembering. The calculated torture, the screams, and the flames were all there, yet so were his memories of falling in love with the girl sobbing into his chest.

"I promise," he said.

"You swear?"

"I won't do anything. Just give me another chance. I'll be different."

Faith nodded, the last of her sniffles chased away when he leaned down and kissed her. By then, Faith was too tired, and the thought of sleeping next to him again soothed her nerves. Though his lips tasted perfect, her desire was only to lie down with his body pressed around her. Faust needed no guidance, and they both stripped down to their underwear and climbed into bed, where they fell asleep, sharing each other's breath between them.